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beccascribbles · 4 years

Text

kageyama is failing english so he asks you to tutor him. neither of you were expecting the relationship that formed between you as a result.

warnings - swearing, kissing scene, contains a fair bit of angst

word count - 6.3k

a/n - this was originally meant to be a fluffy oneshot where kageyama falls for the person he asked to tutor him. however, it didn’t really end up that way exactly. i hope you enjoy anyway!

read the sequel - ‘selfish when it comes to you’

It was with hands trembling that he approached your desk, shooting a nervous glance over his shoulder at the small group huddled by the door. Hinata waved his hands in a 'go' gesture, encouraging him to approach you, while Yamaguchi gave him a thumbs up. Tsukishima, despite declaring he was not interested in Kageyama's educational escapades, had come to watch. He just wanted to see the boy fail. Raising an eyebrow, you looked up at the black-haired boy that you had immediately recognised as Kageyama. Who could forget that face when you had watched him get stopped in the corridor to be handed small gifts by blushing girls, and then watched him hand them over to the energetic ginger at his side?

"Can I help you, Kageyama?" you questioned, shocking the poor boy. Nervously, he shifted his weight from foot to foot, avoiding making eye contact with you. His expression was tense, and you were almost certain this was something he had been forced to do. A glance at the doorway confirmed this, his small group of friends unable to move out of view fast enough. Although, truth be told, Tsukishima had not even bothered to hide. It had been Yamaguchi pulling him out of sight behind the wall.

"Um..." he stammered, face burning a bright red. To think he could look so at home on a volleyball court but so awkward when tasked with an actual conversation was laughable to you. "Um, I, um, heard that you were really smart from Tsukishima, and Hinata was pretty much singing your praises earlier this week when you helped him study before a test..."

He trailed off, looking behind him again. You could not help but wonder as to what kind of emotional support he was seeking from them. Hinata was snickering as he whispered something to Yamaguchi, who was red from holding in his laughter. Meanwhile, Tsukishima was just smirking at the scene unfolding in front of him.

"Yeah, I heard Hinata passed that test," you said, leaning around Kageyama to shout to the hallway. "Well done, Hinata! I knew you could do it."

"You really helped, l/n," he shouted back, beaming at you. "If you hadn't broken down the concepts in such an easy way, I never would have been able to understand it."

Kageyama cleared his throat in an attempt to bring your attention back to him. His hands were now stuffed in the pockets of his trousers, and he was focused on some point above your head.

"Yes?"

"I-I was wondering if you would be able to tutor me in English," he stated, stumbling and tripping over his words. A loud snicker from the hallway caused him to spin and glare at the taller boy, who just snickered louder. When he moved as if he were about to head towards him, you reached out and clasped his wrist, stilling him.

"I would love to tutor you. When are you free? We can work around your schedule as much as possible. I know how busy you are, what with volleyball practice and all."

"Does this Saturday work?"

And that was how you found yourself sitting beside the black-haired boy at nine o'clock that Saturday morning. Textbooks, along with his workbook, were strewn along the desk in front of you.

Currently, you were going over what he had covered in class that week to attempt to pick out some weak points. It was clear to you that his memory was good. When you had quizzed him, he was able to recite the grammar rules perfectly. His spelling was so accurate it made you slightly envious. But, when it came to the application of those facts, he was clueless. You read the sentence one last time.

"Can you tell me why this is wrong?" you asked, indicating it on the page with a point of your pen. He looked down at the page, brows furrowing in concentration as he read.

"I think my spelling is correct," he stated, looking over at you for reassurance. You nodded your head, urging him to continue. "Is the word order incorrect?"

You again nodded your head. "Yep, that's correct. Well done, Kageyama! Now, can you tell me why the word order is incorrect?"

He rubbed the back of his head, returning to studying the sentence. His pen followed along with the line of writing. "Instead of using the English sentence structure of subject-verb-object, I used the Japanese sentence structure."

You smiled, extremely pleased at his ability to critique his own work so confidently. "Good. Remind me what the Japanese sentence structure is."

"Subject-object-verb," he replied with a confidence that you weren't expecting.

The rest of the session continued in a similar pattern, with you getting him to critique what was wrong in his own work. You thought that by helping him see what he was doing wrong currently, he would be able to learn from his mistakes and stop himself from making them in the future. This seemed to be having the desired effect, with the pause he needed to work it out shortening the longer you worked.

You glanced up at the clock hanging on the wall. It was twelve o'clock. "Alright, I think it's time to wrap this up for now. Can you do the same time next week?"

He nodded in affirmation, beginning to gather up the textbooks to return them to the shelf they had been taken from. You hadn't really needed them due to his knowledge of the basics, so they had simply been on the table to take up space. While he put the books away, you gathered your stuff together to put in your bag, also putting his stuff in a neat pile that he could pack away when he returned. Upon his return, he quickly packed them away, slinging his bag over his shoulder once be had finished. Awkwardly, he pulled at the strap.

"Would you like to get some lunch?" he asked, gaze settling on a slight crack in the wall behind you. "Just as a thanks for helping. Not like as a date or anything."

"Relax," you laughed, patting his arm lightly as you walked past him. "I didn't think it was a date and, now that you mentioned it, I would love to get lunch with you."

It took him a moment to process your words, and the fact that you were already walking towards the exit. Hurriedly, he walked after you, his long strides easily allowing him to catch up. You turned to him with a wide grin, "So, what's the plan? You got a specific place in mind?"

He found himself returning your grin. It was infectious. "Not really. But I'll think of something."

From your first tutoring session onward, it became something of a routine to get lunch together afterwards, leading to the formation of an easy friendship. While Kageyama could still be slightly awkward at times, his habit of blushing furiously had diminished slightly. He genuinely enjoyed the conversations with you. You listened with rapt attention when he ranted about volleyball, a fact that warmed him to his core. It was rare to talk to someone who didn't automatically act uninterested when the topic turned to what he was passionate about. But you admired that passion. You encouraged it. And, like you encouraged his passion, he encouraged yours.

At one of your lunches together, you had let it slip that you were currently working on a novel, just a light-hearted way for you to let your creativity flow. It had never been your intention to write for someone else to enjoy. It was just an escape for you, something you found enjoyment in. Something you were passionate about. Your novel was only a passion project.

"Tomorrow, I'm probably just going to work on my novel," you said in response to Kageyama's question. He had just finished telling you his plans for Sunday (it consisted of a lot of volleyball specific training to fine tune his skills as a setter, and also a run - which he had invited you to join him on one time only for you to immediately refuse) and then enquired after yours.

"Your novel?" he questioned. "You're writing a book?"

"No, no, it's nothing serious," you chuckled awkwardly. This time it was you desperately trying not to make eye contact. "It's only for fun. Like a little passion project."

"For fun?" he said, searching for your gaze across the table. Finally, your eyes dropped to meet his deep blue eyes. "I think it's really cool that you've got something you're passionate about."

Those were almost the exact same words you had said to Kageyama when he had tripped his way through an apology after going on about volleyball for an hour.

"Oh..."

It came out on an exhalation of breath. For most of your life, you had hidden the books you had written, terrified of judgement. Yet here Kageyama was telling you that it was cool. "Um, I can show it to you if you want. Maybe you could read it? Tell me what you think?"

He nodded his head in response. "What's it about?"

You launched into an explanation, not only outlining the plot, but also providing him with the main character's backstory, along with their planned arc. He just listened, nodding his head. The way you were so animated pulled him in, making him admire you even more as a person. It was hard to find people with a true passion, and here were two people with a lot of it.

The friendship you formed was so easy and comfortable to be in for the both of you that you gravitated towards each other. At school, it became rare to see you apart during the break times. It wasn't uncommon for Kageyama to show up outside your class with two cartoons of milk, one for you and the other for him, before you followed him out to the courtyard where you would just sit and chat. Sometimes, you would poke your head into their volleyball practice if you had stayed late in the library. It was always to say goodbye to him but ended with him telling you to wait for him so he could walk home with you. On those days, Daichi always thanked you for stopping Kageyama from practising more.

During the weekends, your tutoring sessions had now moved from the neutral ground of the library to one of your houses. He would host one week, with you hosting the next. If it were at his house, you could guarantee that you would be roped in to helping him with some form of volleyball practice after, leaving you sweaty and in need of a shower. Therefore, Kageyama now had a drawer in his room specifically for you to leave spare clothes in. If it was at your house, after tutoring, you read the next part of your novel to him as he listened, his head resting against your thigh. He would always give you his opinion, managing to explain why he had liked certain parts. Then, you would convince him to watch a film with you. Sometimes it would be a comedy, other times it would be a volleyball documentary.

When Hinata had found out that you had a drawer of your things at Kageyama's place, he had become almost unbearable.

Kageyama had let it slip while he was talking to you about your plans for the weekend, telling you it wasn't necessary to bring any more spare clothes when you visited due to the amount already occupying the drawer. Hinata had chosen that moment to walk up to you.

"Why would Kageyama have your clothes at his?" asked Hinata. Both you and Kageyama paused, sharing a look that Hinata automatically read the wrong way. "Oh my god! Are you dating? No way! There's no way Kageyama would ever find some who would want to date him."

"No!"

"We're not dating!"

You both snapped in unison, blushing profusely. Kageyama glared at the smaller boy, "We're just friends, boke. Stop making a big deal out of nothing."

By the time you were in your third year, everyone just assumed you were dating. You attended all his volleyball games wearing his jersey, would occasionally wait for him to finish practice before going home together and were always with each other. He supported you, always there to cheer you on at a school related event or writing competition. He had, after all, been the one who had encouraged you to enter your first writing contest, where you had won runner-up. The photo of you grinning while holding your certificate was one of his favourites. It was also his lock screen photo. Coincidentally, your lock screen was also a photo of him. It was after he was told that he would be representing Japan in the u19s team. He had looked so happy in that moment that you still felt proud of him whenever you saw the photo. You were also both very affectionate with each other considering you were ‘only’ friends. After breaking through the initial awkwardness he felt at physical closeness, being close to you, touching you, brought him reassurance. He would always have an arm slung over your shoulder as you walked. When sitting, he would always be pressed against you, his body warm where it touched yours. In private, it was common for you just to cuddle. As you watched a film, he would have his arms wrapped around you as you rested on his chest.

There was also the small fact that neither of you had entertained the idea of dating someone during high school. Both of you had been asked out multiple times, only for the answer to be no. It was easy for people to assume Kageyama was just too focused on volleyball to be in a relationship that would require so much of his attention. In your case, people found it odd that you had not even gone on a date. Naturally, they just assumed that Kageyama was your boyfriend, so the confessions of love stopped for the both of you. You were not oblivious as to why they had stopped but decided not to deny the claims. It was easier for people to think you were in a relationship.

Kageyama, as much as he hated himself for it, would sometimes find himself wishing that were the case. He could not deny that he was attracted to you. Wherever you were, his eyes were drawn to you. They would follow you around a room, enticed by the way you moved. And, when you were finally close enough to touch, he was unable to stop himself from reaching out and pulling you towards him. It was definite that his own actions had fuelled the rumours. Most of your potential suitors had been on the receiving end of a cold glare from the setter at your side. However, despite this desire for you, he told himself he would never act on it. This was partly due to volleyball. He could admit that your friendship was distracting enough, able to pull him away from the sport with ease. Entering a relationship with you would make it harder, and he could not let that happen. Volleyball was the most important thing in his life. You would always be second, as much as he might want you or need you to be there with him.

For the most part, you were unaware of his feelings. Or, at the very least, you acted like you were. You could acknowledge that he was both overly protective and affection with you considering he claimed to only view you as a close friend. The glares he directed at people had not gone unnoticed by you, especially as they had always been accompanied by the tightening of his arm around you. Equally, you could not deny that his behaviour towards you made you feel giddy. You could not deny that feeling his arm wrap around you to pull you against him made your heart race, or how the sight of him made your breath catch. You could not deny that having his support meant everything to you. But you also could not deny that his attachment to volleyball would override any feelings towards you, no matter how strong they were.

“You need to tell him to stop,” Ichika said, giving you a pointed look. She could see how much you cared for him, how much this affection for him was slowly destroying you. “The way he’s acting is unacceptable. If he’s not going to date you himself, he should stop being so damn possessive.”

You looked up from your coffee. Her words had struck a chord in you. You knew his behaviour was unacceptable, but you let it continue in the hope that it would transform into what you wanted: for Kageyama to finally act on his feelings for you. “Don’t you think I know that? I know it’s bad. I know I should tell him to stop. But I can’t help thinking that if I let it continue, he may finally realise what’s been staring us in the face for the past two-and a-bit years.”

You were so close to breaking. You could feel your eyes beginning to burn from suppressed tears. Again, you looked down at your coffee, hoping that focusing on a specific point would stop the tears from forcing their way out. Ichika reached out a hand to touch yours gently.

“Come on, y/n,” she practically pleaded. “This isn’t healthy, and you know it. The relationship you have with Kageyama now isn’t good for either of you. You can’t let him control you like this.”

“Control me?” you snapped, pulling your hand out of your friend’s hold. “He’s not controlling me. He would never do that to me. You know as well as me that he struggles with his feelings and how to express them. If I told him how I felt, I know he’d stop. But I don’t want him to. If I tell him, he’ll pull away. I’d rather keep him like this than risk not having him at all.”

“y/n, sit back down,” said Ichika, looking up at you. During your rant, you had risen from your seat. You were visibly shaking, whether from anger at what your friend was insinuating or frustration at the truth of your relationship with Kageyama you could not tell. The tears you had worked so hard to suppress were freely rolling down your cheeks.

“No,” you said, turning to walk away. “I think I’m going to go home. I don’t really feel like talking anymore. I’ll see you at school on Monday.”

You walked out, hands fumbling for your phone. As much as he was the cause for your tears right now, it was his comfort you craved. So, you called him. He picked up on the first ring, sounding breathless as if you had interrupted his training. His greeting was unusually harsh. Shit. You had forgotten that the volleyball team had arranged an extra practice session today to prepare for nationals.

“Tobio...” you said, voice cracking. It was clear you were crying. Your voice was thick with emotion. All he could hear were your sobs in his ear. “I’m sorry. I forgot you were busy. I’ll just call... actually, I don’t know who else I’d call.”

Your laugh was bitter, and the concern he felt for you hit him with so much force he almost keeled over. You had not even told him what you needed yet, and he was already beginning to gather all of his things together. “What is it, y/n? What happened? Where are you?”

“I’m walking to yours from the cafe close by.” Another sob escaped your lips. “I just need to see you.”

He remembered you telling him that you had planned to meet Ichika there for a drink and a chat. You were unsure as to why she had wanted to have a chat, and he could clearly recall you saying that your friend looked very serious when she had asked to meet up. “I’ll be home soon. Just use the key I gave you to go in... What did Ichika tell you?”

That caused you to pause. He heard your breathing still through the phone. What could Ichika possibly have said that would have made you so upset? You interrupted his chain of thought when you spoke again. “It’s not important, Tobio.”

“Not important?” he snapped, fist clenching around his phone. “If it’s not important, then why are you fucking cry? Why did you call me during volleyball practice?”

“I’m sorry,” you sobbed. The sound made his heart crack, almost breaking through his sudden haze of anger. “I wish I could tell you, but I can’t. It’s not a big deal. I’m just getting upset over nothing.”

“Fine.” His voice had changed again, becoming cold. “If it’s nothing, I’ll see you when I finish practice.”

You heard the stuff he had begun to gather clatter to the floor before he hung up. He chucked his phone back in his open bag, turning to face his friends. The rest of the team were still training, but they had stopped, turning to look at him as soon as he had begun to collect his things, the concern evident in his voice and the lines of his body.

“What was that about, Kageyama?” asked Hinata, looking at his friend with concern. Though his voice had been cold before he had hung up on you, Hinata could still see the conflict on his friend’s face. Concern for you was evident in the set of his face, but his need to improve outweighed your obvious need for him in that moment. “l/n is clearly really upset. Why are you still here?”

“You can go to her if you want,” said Yamaguchi. “You know Coach won’t mind. Plus, recently, you’ve been spending more time here than usual. Missing the end of this practice session won’t affect you at all.”

“Let’s just get back to practice.”

Kageyama walked back over to serve again, ignoring the concerned looks his friends shared. Even Tsukishima was worried, his eyes scanning Kageyama as if trying to gauge his emotional state. Throughout the rest of training, guilt gnawed at Kageyama’s conscience. His mind kept drifting to you, your sobs, the way your voice cracked. But he was too stubborn to leave now, too obsessed with improving in volleyball to waste his concern on you. However, as soon as training ended, he was the first to leave, sprinting out of the school.

Before heading home, he grabbed some of your favourite comfort foods, barely even acknowledging that it was physically impossible to eat the amount of food he had shoved into his bag in one sitting. When he entered his house, he headed straight to his room, knowing that was where you were most likely to be.

What he was not expecting was the sight that greeted him. You were curled up on his bed, hugging his pillow to your chest. But that was not what sent a spike of hot desire running through him. You were only wearing his jumper, your clothes neatly folded on the floor at the foot of his bed. In your curled-up position, his jumper just covered your arse, leaving your bare legs on display. It was clear you were fast asleep. With a sigh, he placed the bag of food gently on the floor before reaching for a blanket and placing it over your sleeping form. He brushed a kiss to the top of your head. Then, he left the room to wash.

Once he returned, dressed more comfortably topless and in a pair of loose-fitting joggers, he made his way back over to you, sitting beside your sleeping form on his bed. He brushed your hair away from your face, treasuring the soft feel of your skin against the pads of his fingers. He wanted to lie down with you, to pull you against his chest and curl around you. He wanted to protect you from everything that could hurt you, not realising the main person responsible for that was him, no matter how much you struggled to admit it. But something stopped him from lying down beside you and holding you in his arms.

He had added to your hurt. His sudden anger had not been towards you, though it had been directed your way. Though he had not meant to hurt you then, he knew that he had. But he also knew that incident would not be held against him. It was when he had deliberately made his voice go cold, telling you that he would not be there to comfort you anytime soon. In the back of his head, he knew you were clearly not upset about nothing, that it was important. Hearing you talk like that after interrupting his practice, however, had made him snap. He should not have done it. He should have come running to you. If he was not so obsessed with volleyball...

Kageyama pulled away from you, getting up from the bed. As he turned away to search for a futon to put on the floor, you sat up, rubbing the sleep from your eyes. You croaked softly, “Tobio, can you hold me?”

And your relationship continued in much the same way, the incident of that day largely forgotten, your feelings on the matter remained suppressed. Both of you only had eyes for each other, but neither of you were inclined to speak those feelings aloud. Finally, you graduated from Karasuno, both still firmly attached to each other.

All those hidden feelings eventually fulminated at the graduation party Hinata had decided to host, inviting former members of the Karasuno Volleyball Club along with people from rival teams. Kageyama had asked you to come with him, so you had entered the party on his arm to chorus of ‘so you’re finally together?’ and statements echoing that sentiment. You had had to shake your head, forcing a smile on your face as you jokingly dismissed the claims.

“No, we’re just friends,” you said. “This boy has only got one thing on his mind and that’s volleyball.”

You were unaware of how incorrect that statement was. Since he had secured a spot with the Schweiden Adlers following graduation, his mind had been drifting to you more often. Truth be told, you were often all he could think about - your figure, your touch, your smile. As selfish as it was, he wanted you like this, with him, for as long as you would have him.

Kageyama forced a laugh at your words, not seeing the hurt look in your eyes as he unwittingly agreed with your statement.

“I don’t know why you’re not dating yet,” sighed Sugawara, swaying slightly as he walked up to you. “After he called asking me for advice, I thought he was finally aware of his attraction for you.”

“What?” You blinked at Sugawara, needing a moment to digest his words. Then you spun to face Kageyama. “You what?”

“I’m not attracted to you, y/n,” spat Kageyama, shrugging you off him. “You know as well as I do. We’re only friends... and that’s all we’re ever going to be.”

“Hey...” said Sugawara, fumbling for a way to stop this from escalating. It was clear that Kageyama’s words stemmed from his fear that acting on his feelings would affect his volleyball in some way. Meanwhile, you looked close to crumbling, Kageyama’s last statement highlighting how pointless your feelings towards him were. “Maybe you two should walk away before this escalates.”

“You know what, Kageyama?” you snapped back, the emotions you had been holding back bursting out of you. Tears pricked at the corners of your eyes and your fingernails bit into the skin of your palm. “Fuck off. I’m done with this, whatever this is.”

With that, you spun around, storming further into the party. Kageyama quickly lost sight of your figure in the sea of volleyball players. His cheeks felt wet. He was shaking, all control over his body gone as he launched a punch at the wall to his left. Skin ruptured. Glancing down at his fist revealed split knuckles and blood welling up from the cracks.

“Fuck.”

You pushed through the people, desperately searching for anything to help you feel less empty inside. Less broken. Alcohol. That was your answer. Your gaze landed on a table that looked close to collapsing due to the amounts of bottles on it. No one would miss one measly bottle. Not fully aware of who might be watching you, you grabbed the largest one, took off the cap, and drank from it deeply. The liquid burned your throat, a welcoming distraction from the numbness you were currently drowning in.

This time you pushed through the crowd holding the neck of a bottle, looking for somewhere to collapse. Your eyes landed on the open back door. Perfect. The cool air against your skin made you shiver, causing you to pull the jacket tighter around your form. You studied the black denim. It was Kageyama’s jacket. A bitter laugh escaped your mouth. How fucking typical that you were still relying on him to help you, even if it was just his jacket. Actions guided by nothing more than hatred at your own inability to do anything without him, you ripped it off you, throwing it down beside you.

Without his jacket to ward against the chill, you realised how cold it was. You simply shrugged, raising the bottle to your lips in the hopes that the bite of the alcohol would fight away the cold. When a jacket dropped on your shoulders, you barely registered it.

“l/n, come inside,” said the voice beside you. Vaguely, you recognised it as Tsukishima’s. Blearily, you tilted your head to look up at him. “It’s cold. You’re going to catch a fever or something.”

“I didn’t think you’d care,” you slurred, slipping your arms into the sleeves of his jacket. It was warm. You snuggled further into the warmth. He just rolled his eyes at you, grabbing you from underneath your arms and pulling you to your feet. You stumbled into him, feeling wobbly and unfocused. “Shit, I think I’m drunk.”

“Nope, you’re obviously completely sober.” His voice was dry, the sarcasm in his tone clear. You shot him a glare, poking your tongue out at him. He observed with a hint of superiority in his tone of voice, “Now, that was childish.”

“I don’t care,” you pouted. “I’m drunk and upset.”

Wrapping an arm around his, you leaned on him heavily as he walked with you back into the party. Barely audible above the noise, you mumbled, “I want Tobio. I really love him… Why does he always hurt me?”

To be honest, hearing you like this made Tsukishima’s chest ache. He had his doubts about your relationship with Kageyama, had taken to observing the dynamic between you two. For quite some time, he had seen the hurt that waited just beneath the surface, the way your eyes would suddenly become unfocused when you came to watch Kageyama practice. It was clear you were thinking back to that day, the way he had addressed you so coldly and emphasised the importance of volleyball over your well-being.

Kageyama watched you with Tsukishima from across the room, his right-hand throbbing with pain. After Daichi had helped Kageyama clean it up, he had told him to go home. Kageyama had refused. Despite the words you had spat at him, he could not leave until he knew you were safe. He had watched you, watched as you attempted to drown your sorrows in alcohol. He knew he probably should have approached you, offered to take you home before you got too drunk. It was clearly past that point now. You were clinging onto Tsukishima as if your life depended on it. This made him grit his teeth in annoyance. It should have been him there to support you. Although, if he had not lost his temper with you earlier simply because he was in love with you, none of this would have happened.

He strode across the room towards Tsukishima, powered by some urge to be the one to take care of you like he had been doing since that first tutoring session. “I’m going to take y/n home.”

“Do you really think she wants to be anywhere near you right now?” questioned Tsukishima, glancing down at you briefly. At the sound of Kageyama’s voice, you had let out a breathy moan, fingers twitching on his arm as if you wanted to reach out to him.

“Tobio…” you mumbled, clearly drunk. You removed your arm from Tsukishima’s, reaching out for Kageyama. “I need you. Please. Don’t leave me. I need you.”

I need you.

The words rang around his head as he curled a protective arm around your waist. You were turned into him, nose pressed against the material of his shirt. One of your hands gripped his shirt tightly, fingers curling in the thin material. He began to walk away with you towards his car. Even if this whole situation had not happened, it was still his turn to be the designated driver.

Silently, he helped you into the passenger seat, buckling your seat belt and brushing a soft kiss to your cheek before shutting the car door and making his way to the driver’s side. He opened the door, sliding into the seat and looking over at you once more to double-check that you were strapped in. Much to his surprise (and slight annoyance), you had decided to unbuckle the seat belt. He huffed, leaning over to grab the belt, “Seriously, y/n.”

Your fingers wrapped around his wrist, stilling his movement. Slowly, you brought his hand down to rest on the smooth skin of your exposed thigh. Kageyama froze, his gaze flickering to yours. Your face was so close to his he could feel the heat of your breath against his lips. Gently, almost teasingly, you rubbed the tip of your nose against his. He let loose a breath he did not realise he had been holding, allowing the pad of his thumb to begin rubbing smooth circles on your thigh. While his fingers dance across your skin, you grazed your finger along his jawline, the other hand reaching up to tangle in his hair. Unable to help yourself, feeling needy, just wanting him, you leant in, letting your lips brush against his. Once. Twice. On the third time, Kageyama’s restraint broke, the hand on your thigh tightening while the other went to the nape of your neck, pulling you into him harshly.

His lips pushed against yours, the swipe of his tongue against your bottom lip enough for you to open for him. He tasted you. Greedily. Hungrily. His tongue tangling with yours teasingly as the kiss deepened. His arms wrapped around your waist, pulling you from your seat beside him. You clambered over the gear stick, falling into his lap. The kiss broke momentarily as you adjusted your position, straddling him, both hands clutching onto his black hair. You did not have to wait long until his lips were back on yours, hands trailing down to grasp at your arse as he strained upwards in his seat to push his clothed centre into yours. The moan you let out against his lips did not go unnoticed, and he ground upwards into you, eliciting another soft groan. You pulled away slightly, stuttering out his name, “T-T-Tobio. Fuck.”

Your breath carried with it the stench of alcohol, seeming to pull him to his sense. Suddenly he released you, causing you to flop forward against him, hands still clutching his hair. Your head was pressed against his shoulder. “Tobio?”

He lifted you off him, returning you to your seat beside him. Without looking at you, he put your seat belt back on, trying to avoid touching you, afraid the feel of your skin and the way you were looking at him, eyes dark with desire, would cause him to snap again.

“Tobio?” you questioned again, voice painfully soft, as if you feared his reaction. “Do you not want me?”

His fingers tightened on the steering wheel. “Fuck. Of course, I want you. You don’t know how much I crave you. How much my thoughts end up drifting to you.”

“Then why’d you stop?”

“Because I can’t,” he said, the words physical paining him to speak. “You’re a distraction. One I can’t afford as much as I want it.”

A broken sob escaped your lips. But he did not reach over to offer you comfort, as much as he might have wanted to. And, although that night ended with you sleeping at his house, the next morning, there was a noticeable wall up between you. The once easy affection you shared was unwanted, Kageyama maintaining physical distance with you as much as possible.

And, though it pained you to admit, your relationship was never the same after that. It was never easy. It was never comfortable. It was tense, awkward even. Though you parted ways as friends, him going to the Schweiden Adlers and you off to university, it was as if a fundamental part of your relationship was broken. It was unlikely that part could ever be repaired.

#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyu oneshot #haikyuu angst #haikyuu fluff #tobio scenarios #tobio imagine #kageyama x reader #kageyama imagine #kageyama angst #kageyama tobio x reader #kageyama x you #kageyama x y/n

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popculturebuffet · 4 years

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Sparkshortstravaganza! (Commissioned by WeirdKev27)

Well this was a needed kick in the pants. When I first heard of the Sparkshorts program I was excited. As a kid I loved PIxar, as an adult I love pixar and as an old man dealing with the loss of his partner floating away in my balloon house, i’ll still love pixar. So the idea of a program focused on giving new fresh talent the room to do whatever they wanted and make content that would be on Disney Plus, a platform BADLY bereft of original animation? It was a dream come true and the first one I saw Kitbull is easily a masterpiece and something that I can vividly recall every part of to this day, which for my terrible short term memory recalling EVERYTHING is a rare feat few works have achived. But given I have a REALLY bad habit of letting things I want to watch sit there if I don’t jump on them immediately.. I let it sit there and didn’t touch any of the shorts and mostly forgot about the program until now. Until Kev, my patron and the only person paying for reviews at the moment, though others are more than welcome wink wonk, just decided what the heck and to test out comissioning shorts picked these ones because why not. And given I had been dragging my feet and reading the descriptions found creative and suprisingly heavy premises... I was fully on board And better late than never because along with Soul this program has EASILY restored my faith in the company after Onward really disapointed. Granted they’ve done worse, while there are pixar films I haven’t seen I need to like Coco or Cars 3, I’ve vowed NEVER to watch Cars 2 unless I have to and that vow has served me well so far. The shorts here are as a whole beautifully animated, have a ton of wonderful concepts and even the two weaker ones are still gorgeous to look at and a decent watch regardless and both come from a very well meaning place with a very well meant message. So yeah i’m thankful for this comission and to show you why let’s go through every Sparkshorts so far and see why their so awesome.. after some background of course.

Sparkshorts, for the uniniated, is a program by pixar where animators are given six months and a limited budget to create a film based on personal experince. The program was designed to test out new ways of animating, directing and creating and to find a creative “spark” in it’s employees. Thus each film feels unique, has it’s own style.. and is utterly charming. I’ll be looking at them chronologically as while this wasn’t my watch order, I feel it’s a bit neater that way. I’ve already taken long enough to get to watching these, let’s open these films up and see what makes them tick shall we?

Purl: An Adorable Yarn Ball Vs Toxic Masculinity Purl.. was better the more I thought about it. The first short released, it DOES have a good message and killer animation. The film takes place at B.R.O., a dude broey brockerage firm that’s painfully relasitic both in how broey it is and in how it looks. That’s to contrast our heroine: Purl, an adorable ball of yarn who just wants to be accepted but is instead ignored by the rest of the company till she changes herself up, donning a suit like her co workers she badly wants to fit in with and adopting their wolf of wallstreet esque douchebaggery. She finally gets accepted.. but ends up shedding her new self to help another Yarn Ball starting up. Director Kristen Lester drew from personal experince, starting work at animation in a mostly male dominated workplace and thus having to adapt and only letting the femine side she’d repressed out when she moved to working at pixar, which had more female employees. The film DOES have a good message about toxic workplaces and toxic masulinty and learning the personal story did raise it a few notches as it made it clear to me that what SEEMED like an over exageration.. was probably just a light exageration given the kind of bro antics we’ve heard about at companies like Ubisoft. So while I didn’t like the film much at first honestly.. it’s over the top because it NEEDS to be because even though it’s 2021.. some idiots STILL don’t get it and kids are better off learning it now so it’ll hopefully stick when their entering the workforce. So we’ll get more people like perl willing to make a change and stick up for those like her and less dude bros. Still a decent and clever short with Perl’s bro form looking really neat and the animation on her in general is really fucking gorgeous. All in all not the best of these but still pretty good and while a bit thick on the message.. it kinda has to be.

Smash And Grab: A Jaunty Ride to Freedom

This was a really fun one. Directed by Brian Larson and inspried by his need for a break from routine this follows two robots, the titular smash and grab who are designed to well.. smash and grab coal-like energy things for a train and have for years and years. The two long to high five, but can’t because their hooked to tubes so they can’t escape. But one day Smash looks out the window and not only sees fellow robots living a better life.. but a way to power him and his buddy/love intrest? I mean bromance or romance, either way it works. Point is our heroes escape, and have to fight security. It’s just a really damn fun and creative movie. While robots wanting a better life isn’t new, the crisp art deco animation, breakneck pace, fun gags and heartwearming relationship between the two bots is just charming as hell. It’s just a fun ride the whole way through with a lot of heart and creativity with the two’s way they throw coal to one another used to take out the guards, and all together just some really good set pieces. Easily one of my faviorites here and that’s a high water mark to pass.

Kitbull: Tiny Orphan Kitty + Big Abused Doggo = Best Friends

As I said this is the only one of these I saw before today and as I said it’s stuck with me. I love dogs. I have one of my own named Yoshi whose just a sweet boy. So i’ve always loved ALL DOGS.. and was thus horrified years ago when I learned about the stigma Bulldogs get. Seen as “agressive’ and “Mean’ and victious.. when really a lot of them, including my grandpa’s own pitbull when I was little, are just loveable as any other dogs. And having also known a former fighting dog my friend owned, if a much smaller min pin rather than a pitbull, who by the time I met him had become the sweetest dog you’d ever meet.. yeah.. don’t mistreat a dog just because some assholes force it to fight to the death because their sick, horrible, ghastly human beings.. if they can even be CALLED human beings after doing that to these poor animals. My point is it’s nice to have a short about such a needed subject. Director Rosana Sullivan actually had the idea for the short for years and intended to do it as a side project, but when the program cropped up she moved it to pixar and the result is one of the most popular and easily one of the best of an already bright bunch, brought on by her love of animals and working in a shelter. It’s also one of Pixar’s first 2d animated projects and proves their just as good at that as cgi. It’s the touching story of a kitty whose alone in the world and initally mistrustful and hissy at a big dog she finds and is naturally scared of.. until she grows to bond with the dog, realizing much like a LOT of fucking people need to that pitbulls.. are just dogs and often victims of circumstance and the poor, sweet pooch who just wants his owner to love him.. is instead thrown into a fighting pit, nearly killed and forced to make a daring escape with their new forever friends help. It’s through this wonderful, heartrending friendship that the dog finds freedom and the cat.. finds them both a home, no longer running from people but instead making sure they both get a person. It’s often brutal at times, with the scene of the dog being forced to fight being one of the most striking: while we thankfully don’t see the action, we HEAR IT, as does the poor kitty, and we see the aftermath: a friendly harmless dog thrown out into the cold just because it dosen’t WANT to fight. It’s just really heartrending stuff that makes the happy ending all the better. It’s also gorgeiously animated which I mentioned but i’ll say it again; the animation here is GOREGOUS, unqiue and stunning. Go watch this if you haven’t.

Float: This is Why Krakoa Exists

This.. has easily been the hardest to review of the bunch. While ALL of these stories are very personal, very inclusive and very intresting, this one.. is a bit rougher than most of them and hits REALLY close to home. See this one was built out of director Bobby Rubio’s experinces raising his son who has autisim.

It’s about a dad who discovers his infant son can float... and thus gets stares of fear or judgment from eveyrone around him slowly getting broken down by this. So he makes a HORRIBLE judgment call and rather than just accept some people are assholes, weighs his son’s backpack down with stones despite him hating it then drags him away when he ends up floating off, before screaming at the poor kid WHY CAN’T YOU BE DIFFRENT.. He DOES instantly regret this and the ending is genuinely touching as the father finally accepts his son is different and throws him into the air while on a swing, letting his son soar as he always should’ve. It is a beautifully animated and well meant film and the filipino representation is truly great: Rubio originally was going to have the characters as white but his fellow animators convinced him to go for represntation and be true to himself and honestly in a time when disney itself has had to be fought to get queer representation most of the time, it’s nice that pixar at least is a part of it that throughly encourages representation and will gladly put diversity and representation over any bullshit “risk factors”. That being said.. while this was a decent short with a very well intentioned message and it clearly connected with a lot of people.. it wasn’t for me and I say this as someone who has autisim. As someone who has worn down people’s patince and been starred at by a freak for something I was way too young to properly deal with. I’ve been in this Kid’s shoes.

And that’s the problem: The metaphor dosen’t really work for me. While auitism CAN have some benifits and I wouldn’t be any other way i’d be lying if I said it was easy having trouble commuincating, constnatly misreading people, constnatly worrying if someone’s going to like you, and hyperfocusing on a problem instead of being able to set it and forget it for a bit to my own detriment. There’s other problems and not ALL of my issues come from anxiety disorder: I also have anxiety and depression. They just bleed badly INTO said autisim sometimes, as it’s hard to effectively combat anxiety sometimes when your mind won’t let you.

What i’m saying is... there aren’t any FAULTS in his powers. See i’m a fan of x-men, so I can only see this boy as a mutant, and yes I know they usually manfifest at puberty but there have been exceptions so don’t at me.. and one of them who has no real downsides other than the unfair stigma of being a mutant. He’s more like storm, who can control the elements and whose power only enhances her life nad lesss like say Rogue, who looks normal.. but can’t touch anyone without knocking them out at best or horribly abosrbing them into her head at worst. There’s no downside other than the fact people judge him and his dad is a dick about it. And the dad part is hard because I get what Rubio is going for: parents make mistakes, parents mess up and their only human even if they should embrace their kids anyway. That’s a good message and one I support.. I just think Rubio was way TOO hard on himself and thus made his stand in into an unlikeable asshole, one whose more concerned with how everyone ELSE thinks and does the horribly abusive action of basically tying his son’s wings down so he can’t fly. He mans well, it’s so his son dosen’t float off.. but instead of finding a way to help him and work with him on it.. he just stuffs rocks in his back and forces the kid to be miserable so other people can be happy. It just goes way too far in the other direction to work. As I said I think it’s the guy being too hard on himself, manifesting his worst moments with his kids and his biggest regrets and making himself into a very hard to like character because he has trouble forgviing himself for how he acted. So I want to say if you ever read this bobby while I wasn’t hte biggest fan of your film.. I do wholly support you and your son.. and the fact you made an entire FILM just to show your sturggle and show people there not alone was a beautiful act. You are not a bad person , we all make mistakes and we’re all just human. You are a good man Bobby Rubio. I may of not liked your metaphor... but your message is beautiful.

Wind: Immigration by Way of Rocket Science

Thankfully moving on.. this one is tied with Kitbull for my faviorite. It has a truly intriguing premise, a great metaphor, stunning animation, and is just really moving, gripping and fun to watch. This one was by Edwin Chang, and as is usualy by now, it was built on personal experince.. but not his. It was built on the fact his father was an immigrant who had to leave his mother, Chang’s grandmother, behind to a better life. She rejoined them eventually but it left an impact on his father and thus serves as the core of this story. And honestly knowing that only STRENGTHENS an already impresssive sci fi short. It’s the story of a boy, apparently named Ellis so i’ll use that, and his grandmother who live in a bizzare, hauntingly beautifuly stygian sinkhole that has floating rocks and debris. The two spend their day farming potatoes and grabbing whatever they can to hopefully make their way out. But it becomes clear to young Ellis after they find a plane his grandmother wants HIM to go alone and escape and is willing to sacrifice herself.. and ends up having to trick the boy into thinking sh’es going along in order to get him to do what he needs to surivive and thrive. It’s a truly gut wrenching story as even when she seems to have found a way for them both to leave.. it’s very clear she’s simply training him with all the welding tools and what not so he has skills to make it out there on his own in the unknown. So he can live without her.. but more importantly.. so he CAN LIVE. Away from the darkness, not having to scrape and to surivive and hopefully find something better out there. While the old parental figure sacrifciing thsmelves so the youngun can start hteir journey isn’t new.. it’s the unique, beautiful and haunting setting and the emotoin, conveyed only through the utterly beautiful animation that make this story feel fresh, along with it’s great metaphor. This short is just haunting, beauitful and really damn sad, and I only dont’ have all that much to say because it’s all in the visuals. The only thing I have left is like all of these really, watch it. But especailly this one.

Loop: Enough Said

This is part of the reason I didn’t like Float all that much. Loop is just.. way better at conveying the experinces of having auitism. While Renee is a more severe case than me I can relate to what kicks off the film: Renee, usually paired with an adult at the camp she at, is forcibley paired with a chatty boy named Marcus. While Marcus is eager to go home and has no idea how to interact with the two the two genuinely bond, with Marcus slowly getting into Renee’s world. The key scene for this and the one that clinches the film is Renee waving her hands over the reeeds in the water, throughly enjoying it with marcus not getting it.. till he tries himself. Director Erica Milsom, whose worked with autistic children and picked this medium entriely because i’ts perfect for a non verbal character and is one that can tackle heavy issues like this in a way to help people understan, really wanted to counter most depections of severe autisim, paticuarlly sensory issues. While we see the good in them instead of JUST her freaking out or being overwhelemed: how her sounds and the things she feels truly relax her and how she really DOES enjoy nature and is perfectly at home there. It’s just a beautiful way to show this disablility is not ALL bad, as many works tend to focus soley on the drawbacks. While I had my issues with Float part of it was it had too much good.. but Loop is superior at this simply because it shows both with unflinching honesty: The beauty of something that calms and relaxes your brain or a touch or sensation that just FEEELS really good, things that while again i’m not on the same level as Renee.. I can still fully relate to. But what puts it over float besides not having a messy metaphor is it DOES show the issues that come with it.. but does so WELL and with nuance. It shows how isolating autisim can be, especially for someone like Renee who can’t talk, how people are sometimes freaked out by you and don’t know how to interact with you and how adults can MEAN WELL, and the counsler setting them off was a good idea in the end... but can also be misguided and not fully know how to handle you without overwhelming you. It shows just how bad a panic attack can be, how you can just.. shut down and drive away. It was easily the sequence that hit the hartest and resonated the most as I’ve had those, and i’ve just shut down with no one able to reach me.. and it makes it all the more touching as Marcus eventually realizes how to handle things, and gives her space despite the setting son and the peril of being stranded.. because he realizes she needs it and offers to simply be there when she’s ready. It’s a touching, wonderful gesture, capped by him giving her a reed.. and the two heading home finally udnerstanding one another.This one is very close to wind in my heart and I think I found even more love for it writing this review and realizing just how much it hit me. And that ain’t bad.

Out: Be Proud of Who You Are.. with the help of a gay cosmic space cat

Speaking of hitting close to home and really resonating with me, we have Pixar’s first short with a gay main character, with his sexuality being the center of this. And as a bi person who had struggle accepting his sexuality let alone telling anyone, even when you know someoen will likely accept you.. this naturally hit hard. I took some time to realize I was bi, and when I did I was terrified of telling my mom, despite her being loving, supportive and just wonderful, same with my brother. Both fully accepted me as I figured and had no issue with it, esepcially sine my romantic history is nearly non existant anyways, but I related to our hero Greg’s fears of coming out to his parents despite them being utterly wonderful, well meaning people. It’s hard to come out, it’s hard to admit that about yourself, and it’s hard knowing you may not be accepted or things may change. I had an even harder time coming out to my dad, who I fully expected being a trump supporter and having said “if gay marriage is leagal I should be able to marry my cat”, to not support me and to loose him.. and was proud and suprised when nope, he was utterly supportive and happy for me.. if a bit awkward with the “be careful with sex” advice.. to someone whose had none and may never will due to being awkward as shit. But he meant well and the point is I really related to this, and it’s easily one of the best coming out stories of this kind, tied handily with Schitt’s Creek’s episode about Patrick coming out to his parents that dealt with the same theme. And naturally given the nature of these shorts it was a story close to Stephen Clay Hunter’s heart, as he group up a gay nerd in the 80′s a time when homophobia was even worse and representation was near non-existent. So when given the shot he wanted to make something for a young him, something they can look at and point to and tha’ts me. And the behind the scenes short for this one sold just how... big this felt for him. To draw two men in love and embrcing, to see guys mo capping that. To see someone LIKE him on screen. It shows just how important representation is and how dumb it is it took 20 goddamn years at pixar for them to get gay.

The short itsel is delightful as we open with a gay space cat and dog appearing in a rainbow. The Cat and Dog are watching Greg, a nice young man whose moving out of his small town with his boyfriend Manuel.. only to panic when his parents who he hasn’t come out to show up to help move and try and hide the one photo he has of them. And despite Manuel seeing it as a very easy thing to do to come out.. it’s not for Greg. He knows it’s hard and a scene of him practicing shows the poor guy breaking down at the thought of telling them despite getting every indicatio their nice people. It’s then the whole Space Cat thing comes in as the cat enchanted Greg’s dog’s collar, so when greg puts it on as a jest, it’s a body swap! So naturally we get tons of REALLY well animated shenanigans as Greg has to get his body back. Seriously the animation here is gorgeous with director Hunter choosing the painted on , impercet style to give it a storybook feel which fits the story perfectly.. seriously if Disney hasn’t made a story book of this do so.. and if they won’t someone on etsy do it because Etsy is apparently where the merch companies should be making happens.

The point is it’s fun, furious and leads to some great gags.. and then we get the emotional punch to the godnand as Greg bites his mom’s hand in order to prevent her finding a photo of him and his boyfriend. He instnatly regrets it, and breaking the photo in the process and goes to comfort her.. and we get easily the most emotinal, most beautiful part of it as Greg finds out his mom is hurt as she can clearly tell he’s keeping her at arms length and dosen’t want to loose him.. and she’s known all along he was gay.. just like the Schitts Creek example it’s clear she’s hurt a bit her son is scared to tell her but just wants him to be happy. So with a brilliant use of a squeaky toy greg switches back.. and comes out, with his dad warmly hugging miguel when he introduces himn and the space dog crying. Just a beautiful, charming, fun, and gorgeously animated short with some badly needed representation.

Also... one last note. This isn’t related to the short.. but Disney, who once again proves they can’t be progressive without stabbing themselves in the foot and no I will not stop giving out about this. This time’s especailly bad as while Out was heavily promoted.. the descripton DOSEN’T mention it having Pixar’s first gay lead and goes out of it’s way to hide Greg being gay despite the fact the short dosen’t and his being in the closet is the whole conflict of the short. And the not mnentiong the first gay lead thing is noticable because Loop DID rightly point out it was their first non verbal proganist. You can’t.. brag about being progressive about one thing and then try to hide your being progressive about another you idiots. Plus the “pleasing the bible belt” ship has sailed and left port. Ducktales is gay as hell with Penny being gay, even if Disney won’t let her just come out and say it, the crew still had her say it as much as they could, Violet’s dad’s being gay, Della being bi and Webby and Lena being as close to a couple you can get without disney screaming at them no. Andi Mack is fully avaliable on D+ as well.. well okay not fully because the dad turned out to be a pedophile, but still a series with a fully gay character is out there. And finally Owl House got TONS of press for having a bi progatanist and having her love intrest be a girl. Even if Dana Terrance had to FIGHT for that, and rightly so good on her, the point is you have queer characters already. The groups that hate you for that aren’t going to magically stop hating you because you hide the fact a short anyone can see from minute one is very , beautifully gay, I mean it starts with a very swishy space cat emerging from a rainbow atop a pink dog. COME ON. I only have a few words left for disney..

Okay whew, one more and we’re out of here.

Burrow: It’s Okay to Ask for Help and To Bang a Willing Salamander This was the first one I watched today. In hindsight had I properly researched the shorts and realized how heavy they were I probably would’ve saved this one for later to help balance out the deep feels of some of these. While Burrow is VERY VERY good, as all these shorts have been even Float, it’s subject matter is a lot lighter. I mean so far we’ve had stories about toxic masculinity, animal abuse, issues accepting your child is diffrent, sacrficing yourself so your loved one can have a better life, autisim and coming out of the closet. Even Smash and Grab which is light and breezy.. still has a disney death, and is still about a heroic rush to freedom from slavery whenyou think about it. This one.. is about an insecure bunny whose afraid to ask for help and ends up learning to get it while ending up plumiting through a bunch of comedic set pieces. It’s basically if Winnie the Pooh and Bugs Bunny had a baby comedy wise, it has the warm feeling of pooh art wise, a storybook quality tha’ts utterly adoring.. but director Madeline Sharafan specifccally wanted the animators to take after chuck jones, using lots of great expressions and reactions. It has a real classic theatrical screwball comedy vibe and given The Looney Tunes, Droopy, and Tom and Jerry mean the world to me and i’m glad nto reocnnect with 2/3 thanks to HBO Max.. I fucking loved it.

Burrow is still a personal story and is based on Sharifan’s experinces having trouble colaberating, wanting something to be fully baked before showing it off, something I agian relate to. She often hid from the others and refused to show her work until it was done while everyone else was happy to help. And as the previously used to slam disney hard with something they own Hickman Era of X-men has shown.. colaboration is just better and more freeing. By having friends and colleuge s to bounce off of you refine ideas, see how people react to them and grow a bit and that’s what the shorts about.

The plot is easily the simpliest of these: A young bunny wants to build her dream burrow but gets self concious when she runs into a friendly mole and rat living next door to where she wants to build and keeps digging to find both privacy and her own place.. and instead ends up digging into various shenangians and other burrows from frogs, to hedgehogs to most memorably some Salmanders taking a sauna.. and in the best and most ‘how the fuck did they get away with this bit of it”, one of the salamanders ends up .. gladly removing his town and being liike “You wanna do this? I mean I got an hour free” And i’m just saying while now wasn’t the time and the offer was a little awkward i’d go for it if I was her. I mean at least ask him out for coffee later. He seems nice enough if low on boundries. Then ride him until the morning light girl, ride it. She also finds the Demon Bear from New Mutants at one point.. so that’s where he retried to after danny kicked his ass again. Neat.

But eventually our heroione digs herself too deep and ends up hitting water before finding a

Who sees her crumpled plans and then does the stygian call of the badger to call all the other animals to help and after they escape the flood, the bunny finally realizes their good people and lets them see the plans. So we end on our heroine and her new friends and possible salamander lover helping her settle in as she finallyg ets the home she wanted, complete with disco. I mean every home should have a disco. If I didn’t have a ceeling fan i’d have a disco ball.. and I still want one just to set somewhere or hang away from the fan . Let me dream dammit. Overally a fun, hilarious, mad dash short with a good message and a good note to go out on.

Final Thoughts: Overall.. the Sparkshorts program is fucking spectacular, a great way to let some of Pixar’s staff get into the directors chair and really shine, and a way to tackle issues that they may not be able to get greenlit into a full film. Lushily animated, well produced, Pixar has announced MORE are coming and I cannot wait. Thank you kev for comissioning this, and thank you all for reading. If your new and liked this review, follow this blog as I talk disney all the time: when they come back i’ll be doing regular coverage of Amphibia, Ducktales and the Owl House as new episodes come out every week, and i’m currently doing a retropsective on the three cablleros kev also paid for, with the finale of it, an episode by episode look at the legend of the three cablleros, starting this week. I’m also covering LIfe and times of scrooge mcduck (though infrequently for a bit), and finishing up a look at darkwing duck’s just us justice ducks, started with looks at all the players involved and finshing next week with the episode itself. So if any of that sounds good to you, check out the archives, but goodbye, goodbye, goodbye for now.

#sparkshorts #pixar #disney #disney plus #disney+#purl #kitbull #out #wind #loop #burrow #LBGTQ+#lbgt #lbgtq #float #smash and grab #robots

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erin-gilberts · 3 years

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I came to Ghostbusters through ATC first. I wasn't even interested in the whole ghostbusting concept, but I loved Melissa McCarthy and my school was giving a free showing. But I fell in love so hard with this movie and the cast and I'm pretty sure I could watch it forever without getting bored.

So then I decided to give the original Ghostbusters a shot and well, I just don't get it. It's rampant with sexism and the main female roles are "answer phones" and "get creeped on by Bill Murray". By the end of the movie, I couldn't even remember the female characters' names.

But I know people love it. I know you love it. And I'd love to know what about the movie you enjoy, because I'd like to think that it has some good moments, to have inspired such a passionate fanbase after all these years.

This is a great question, and the honest answer is that I don't love the original movies all that much - at least not in the same way that I love Answer the Call. Genuinely, what I love about the original Ghostbusters is less about the films themselves, and more about how they've become a site where some neat transformative fandom has occurred among LGBTQ and neurodivergent fans.

I have real respect for marginalized people who are able to look at something which was maybe never meant to include them, see themselves anyway in spite of everything, run with it so far they reimagine and reinterpret the characters into everything they could be, and then have so much fun reinterpreting the guys as gay or trans or autistic or just plain not a shithead in Venkman's case, I can't help but be excited for them that they're able to do that. The creativity of transformative fandom is so unbelievably passionate, with so much love baked into every headcanon and AU, and the Ghostbusters fans doing transformative fandom in particular tend to be fiercely supportive of each other, even when they're all obsessed with a different facet of it and we don't always understand each other.

Answer the Call was similarly my introduction to Ghostbusters, and my defining memory of seeing it for the first time was that my mom and I walked out of the theater, looked at each other in awe, and asked each other if this is how guys feel all the time - we knew right away we were experiencing something special and rare for us. Like you, I fell in love with ATC so hard, and I'm pretty sure I could watch it forever without getting bored!

I actually was really reluctant to even *watch* the original films, because I didn't grow up with them, and they were so intertwined with the people who made enjoying ATC a living hell for years after it came out. But I knew some people who had a special interest in Ghostbusters, and I'm all-too-familiar as an autistic person with how bad it feels when no one cares or can talk about your special interest. So, I decided to meet the original films in good faith with openness, and with a willingness to learn how they could mean so much to these LGBTQ and neurodivergent fans despite their problems. It was important to me to be able to match the excitement of people who needed encouragement to participate in the kind of transformative fandom they wanted to. My investment in the originals will never be quite the same as theirs, but I always want to be a force of (knowledgeable!) encouragement and excitement.

I like the relationship the guys have with each other; I like how they're really just Some Guys trying their best to do the right thing even when they frequently fail and the world doesn't always support them in doing the right thing. And some of the more iconic moments can be relatably fun, like panicking on the spot and accidentally conjuring the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man to destroy the city. I think it's fun to grow up and realize I've become Walter Peck, because one of my degrees is in Public Affairs, and I'd be the bad guy coming in to shut this shit down.

But most of all, what I think the originals provide for a lot of at least the fans I tend to interact with is simply a framework for them to build upon and take in new, transformative directions. I can see how a lot of young men who love men, trans boys, and neurodivergent people in particular desperately want and adore the idea of a found family made up of strange little guys who try their best and don't always succeed, but people love them anyway and they love each other.

#erin is talking #asks

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skysailor90 · 4 years

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La Sombra y Su Sol

Summary: This is a concept I’m playing with. I’m a HUGE Pedro Pascal fan and I love his character Javier Pena from Narcos. I thought it would be fun to play with the idea of a female led cartel that Pena has to investigate and ultimately takedown. This is my FIRST attempt at any kind of creative writing so constructive criticism is welcomed! I hope you at least enjoy the read!

Word Count: Little over 2,500 (whoops)

Warnings: Soft drug reference, language, sexual reference...

Worlds Apart

7:16PM: Peña

It was a long fucking day. After an even longer fucking week. Being promoted to the lead DEA Agent on this new case was the last thing he wanted. Javier Peña had not recovered from the last time he led a major case, and he had a feeling that this was one going to come with strings. Strings he was not willing to be manipulated by again. This week only confirmed his suspicions. He needed to figure out a way out of this before things got too carried away again. He finished his last cigarette as he pondered a way out of this when he heard a knock at his door.

“Hey boss, Dan and I are going down the street for a drink. You in?” Peña looked up from his distracted gaze to see Fiestl hanging by the door looking beat. Luckily, Peña was able to assemble his team. He instantly brought on the two guys that helped him bring down the Cali Cartel. Dan Van Ness and Chris Fiestl were good guys. Guys he could trust. Trust was hard to come by in this business. Before he could politely turn down the invitation, Fiestl argued his case.

“You know you need something after this week. We all do.” He shared and Peña couldn’t lie to him. Despite feeling exhausted he knew he would not be able to sleep. Too much to work through. Too many doubts that would surely keep him up.

“Sure. I’ll meet you guys there. Need to finish up a couple of things here.” He replied and Chris exited the doorway walking down the hall. Peña waited until he was all the way down the hall. He sat back taking another cigarette from his suit pocket and lighting it taking a deep inhale. He leaned back in his chair exhaling. He needed to sit there a little bit longer before putting on a brave face for those guys. He couldn’t let them see that he was already contemplating leaving them high and dry for their own good.

8:20PM: Sombra

I had been sitting in my car for about 10 minutes before I decided to walk in and wait for him. I would be lying if I wasn’t excited about tonight. I rarely put myself in such risky situations. It was a life saving practice for the leader of the fastest growing cartel anyone had ever seen. The greatest gift to my success was the anonymity I had so carefully created for myself. Although, I understood that this recklessness was putting so many things in jeopardy I had to meet him in person. It was almost like a predator stalking his prey. I needed to understand what I was up against to succeed where others hadn’t. DEA legend Agent Javier Peña was a formidable opponent. One I had not had in some time and it sounded like the perfect opportunity to have a little fun.

You see, I have always been a survivor. Growing up in an orphanage and jumping from foster home to foster home, it was all I knew. It might have felt lonely at first, but just as they say you get used to anything if you give it enough time. By the time I met Emilio, I had settled on the idea that company was for a purpose. For advancing something in your life otherwise it wasn’t worth the compromise. He was my safety. Being attached to a drug lord came with risks, but I wasn’t afraid of taking risks because I know that you have to take risks to achieve greatness. I admit I was still naïve. I was after all only 22 years old when this 38 year old drug lord swept me off my feet. He was charming, but mostly he was powerful and I saw potential in this power. Little did I know just how much that power would shape my future over the course of almost a decade.

My intel informed me that Peña and his men frequented this bar. His team of two other male DEA Agents Daniel Van Ness and Chris Fiestl, were his small but effective team. I waited down the street having a hunch I would get an opportunity to see what I was up against. I saw Ness and Fiestl walk in shortly after I parked. They looked exhausted, and I smiled as I felt that this might be the perfect time to gather my own intel. I sat back a bit longer waiting to see if Peña joined them. As I waited I recalled the file I read on Peña . DEA’s Golden Boy for some time. He was integral to the take down of Pablo Escobar and later led a tactical team that took down the Cali Cartel. Digging a little further, Peña compromised a lot of his so-called “integrity” by working with Los Pepes. This resulted in an innumerable amount of deaths. It was a massacre and based on his involvement in that, he must have not left Columbia the same man. He later led a team with Fiestl and Ness to take down the Cali Cartel. It is my understanding that things also got messy there. However, in each he was successful in breaking an empire enough that a shift in power was forced to take place. This left a struggle for power for some time. Emilio was a small player but biding his time. Until, it became my time.

I glanced at the door and saw Peña walking into the bar. He paused to smoke a cigarette before entering the bar. Interesting. My curiosity got the best of me. I quickly called Julio, my right hand and head of security, and informed him that I would not be needing him for the rest of the evening. He paused but he knew better than to question me.

“Claro, señora.” He responded and I know he hated this but I felt like this was going to be a lot easier than I originally thought. Plus, I knew how to take care of myself if need be. It was time to test how effective my other intel was. I quickly primped myself in the mirror before exiting my car and headed towards the bar. I got butterflies as I got closer. The hunt begins.

8:33PM: Peña

Javi entered the bar and immediately saw Ness and Fiestl at their normal table. They were in the middle of laughing when he pulled up a chair.

“Guys, what did I miss?” Javi asked as he took a seat and waved at the bartender to bring him his usual.

“How did you survive Wednesday’s debriefing?” Ness asked.

“It was brutal. Wasn’t it, Javi?” Fiestl asked. Javi let out a sigh as a double whiskey neat was placed in front of him.

“I tried to imagine I wasn’t there. That I was anywhere else really but there.” Javi responded. Javi had decided it was all a waste of time. A lot of nothing but you would swear that the intel they had was a godsend. It was all bullshit. It had zero backing and also was missing so many aspects of this case. So many things didn’t line up. So many names from unreliable sources. But he was instructed to chase down every lead he was given, and that already was suspicious.

“Well, all I know is that we are getting fucked already.” Ness said half amused, half genuinely frustrated. They all nodded in agreement and drank. Javi saw Ness and Fiestl look up at something behind him.

“Speaking of getting fucked.” Ness said and Fiestl nearly spit out his beer. Javi glanced subtly behind his shoulder to see a woman walk into the bar. Not just a woman. A gorgeous being that made Javi understand Ness’s reaction.

“Fuck.” Javi muttered quietly under his breath.

Javi had never seen her in here before. He would remember seeing her before tonight. She was dressed in a figuring hugging dress that perfectly accentuated her curves. Her curves mirrored an hourglass. However she almost seemed to be trying to hide those curves with an oversized black jacket that clearly did not belong to her. She wore thigh high boots and had long dark curly hair that made Javi yearn to pull on while he did awful things to her. She seemed irritated though. She made her way directly to the bar and sat alone ordering some kind of drink. Javi thought she seemed out of place, but he also saw an opportunity for a fun distraction. As he imagined himself approaching her, he could hear Ness and Fiestl negotiating who would approach her first. Without saying a word to them, Javi stood up and began walking over to the bar. Fiestl and Ness fell silent realizing that Javi wasn’t one to wait his turn.

Javi approached the bar and stood a couple of seats down from the woman. She was downing the last of her drink and waving to the bartender requesting another.

“Rough day, huh?” Javi said more out loud than directly to her. She turned to him and Javi got a good look at her. Her dark chestnut hair made her big light brown eyes really stand out. Her piercing gaze took him off guard. It was like she could see right through everything. Her lips pressed into a small smile. Those soft pink plump lips. Javi imagined how it would feel to have those lips wrapped around his cock.

“You could say that.” She responded before reaching for her next drink. He could tell she wasn’t seeking company but she also didn’t seem to push him away. He took a chance and moved in a little closer. She glanced at him, but did not object. Javi took this as an indifferent invitation.

“I’m told I’m a good listener.” Javi said, sitting right next to her. She looked at him again. Her eyes trying to read him and looking for something, but Javi remained cool under her gaze.

“Well, I usually don’t air my dirty laundry to strangers.” She said. Javi could tell she was fishing for some reassurance.

“That’s a good rule. I’m Javier Peña .” Javi extended his hand out to shake hers. She shook his hand using a firm but polite grip.

“Sofia. Nice to meet you Mr. Peña.” She replied. They both held on to each other’s hands for a second longer than necessary but that didn’t seem to bother either one of them.

“So will your pals be joining us?” Sofia asked as she nodded in the direction to Ness and Fiestl who were caught staring at them from their table. Javi shook his head amused but slightly embarrassed at their gawking display.

“Oh, those guys? Yeah, I’ve never seen them before in my life.” Javi coyly replied and Sofia smiled in return. Javi asked the bartender for another round and took a sip of his new drink.

“ So, about that rough day?” Javi asked before taking another sip. He turned to see Sofia once again staring but this time he could see she was processing. He could almost see the wheels turning in her mind looking back at him through her soft brown eyes. He opted to remain silent but didn’t break eye contact allowing her to make her assessment. Javi was curious to see exactly what she saw.

“Well, Mr. Peña ,” Sofia started and Javi corrected her.

“Javi, please.” he politely insisted.

“Right.” Sofia started again and continued.

“Well Javi, I got stood up tonight.” Sofia answered more annoyed than embarrassed. Javi couldn't fathom who in his right mind would do such a thing to this captivating woman.

“Bullshit.” Javi spurted out before taking another sip of his drink. Sofia laughed, almost spitting up her drink and Javi couldn't help but smile and feel even more drawn to her.

“Bullshit? You think I’m lying?” Sofia playfully retorted.

“Excuse the vulgar language, but you’re full of shit. Was this guy blind or something?” Javi asked, attempting to make his argument.

“Well, it was a blind date. A mutual friend thought we would hit it off.” Sofia finished the last of her drink before signaling for another round. Javi waved at the bartender and gestured to put her next drink on his tab.

“Oh, that's not necessary. I don’t really need a pity drink.” Sofia tried to object to Javi’s offer, but he stopped her.

“Not a pity drink, carino. Just trying to buy a beautiful woman a drink she rightfully needs.” Javi explained and Sofia nodded both granting permission and thanking him. The bartender served a fresh round and Sofia took a sip before providing context.

“Yeah, I mean she meant well, and he sounded decent, but a girl can only wait so long alone at a table clearly meant for two for before sacrificing too much of her dignity.” Sofia took another small sip and turned to Javi.

“Well, in that case, I say this is a celebratory drink.” Javi raised his glass and nodded encouraging her to do the same. Sofia raised her glass. They met eyes and stayed locked in for a few seconds before Sofia interrupted.

“And, what are we celebrating, Javi?” Sofia asked but sipped from her glass nonetheless. Javi also took a small sip before responding.

“Someone’s massive mistake brought you here and now here I am, sitting easily with the most beautiful woman in this place. And now I get to enjoy your wonderful company.” Javi gave her his devilish grin and she held his gaze. It became too unnerving and he reached for his drink.

“I’m not sure you will feel very lucky later.” Sofia responded. Javi quickly replied.

“I’ll take my chances. Something tells me I won’t regret it.” Javi gave a sly grin and Sofia smiled.

“I respect your forwardness and the slight arrogant undertone.” Sofia replied.

“But I need more than a smug smile and air of confidence to be convinced, Mr. Peña .” Sofia countered before taking the last sip of her drink. Javi couldn’t help but feel like he had met his match. Someone complex enough to distract his mind while provoking his dark desires. Javi finished his drink before making his offer.

“Well I’m sure given the opportunity, I can be very convincing.” He smiled and sat back in his seat, awaiting the wheels in her head to start turning. Sure enough, he saw them again. Her contemplation. She was conflicted, and he felt like it was enough for her to be convinced. She rose from her seat and leaned in to whisper into his ear.

“Outside. Five minutes. Then we will see how convincing you can be.” Sofia gently rubbed her cheek against Javi before turning and walking towards the restroom. Javi watched her walk away left stunned by how this night progressed. He gestured for the check and closed out both their tabs. Whatever came next, he was ready. He quickly signed the check and made his way to the front door. He turned briefly to look back at Ness and Fiestl who were already watching him walk away. Javi shrugged and gave them a nod. Better luck next time.

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tlbodine · 5 years

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12 Days of Christmas Horror

Tis the season....to be scared?

Christmas horror movies are a long-standing tradition, perhaps as a bit of counter-culture against the glut of feel-good holiday fare. Telling ghost stories around the fire on these long winter nights has been a part of the human experience for centuries, so there’s definitely nothing wrong with indulging in some spooks. Whether you want something genuinely horrifying or tame enough to enjoy with your younger siblings, I’ve got you covered.

So grab a cup of hot cocoa or some eggnog and try some holiday horrors on for size.

1. Black Christmas

Often considered the first slasher film, Black Christmas was ahead of its time. This 1974 movie is set on Christmas Eve and features an escaped maniac returning to his childhood home to discover it’s been turned into a sorority house, where he proceeds to start killing sorority girls. If you’re thinking, “Wow, that sounds a lot like Halloween,” you’d be right, because this is the movie that set all of the tropes (including the holiday setting) into action. There’s a remake set to hit the theaters on December 13th, so now is the time to watch the original!

2. Gremlins

This 1984 horror-comedy is a dark horse favorite for holiday viewing for many and helped secure a spot for Joe Dante among the masters of horror. A well-meaning but clueless family man adopts an exotic pet but doesn’t follow its rules for care, leading to some unintended chaos. Watch for some really excellent puppet work and family-friendly hijinks.

3. Krampus

Another horror-comedy, 2015′s Krampus became an instant classic and must-see holiday viewing in my house. An extended family is snowbound when a certain horned, devilish figure shows up to wreak some fae-inspired havoc on the town. A+ creature design, some neat (if not wholly accurate) folklore, and a plot that’s real clever if you don’t think too hard about it. This one is safe to watch with older kids. (Note: There are a lot of movies called Krampus. Look for the one directed by Michael Dougherty)

4. A Christmas Horror Story

Also a 2015 release, this anthology film features several shorts all loosely tied together by the time and setting -- Christmas Eve in a single town. The shorts themselves have variation in tone and content, but they’re all pretty strong. One has a bit of a twist ending that ties everything together and is really, delightfully messed up.

5. Silent Night, Deadly Night

This 1984 film sparked a popular franchise of low-grade slashers, the kind that certain wide-eyed young horror fans would eyeball lustfully at the video store while not being allowed to rent them. The premise is that young Billy, traumatized by his parents’ murder, dons a Santa suit and goes on a killing rampage. There was some controversy when it came out (the idea of a murderous santa was scandalous!) and it became a cult hit because of it. These aren’t great movies (and forewarning for ableism of the usual bad-mental-health-portrayal-in-horror way, but if you enjoy 80s slashers you’ll like this one just fine.

6. Child’s Play

I bet you forgot that the original Chucky movie was a Christmas film, didn’t you? The 1988 film tapped into the Cabbage Patch Kids zeitgeist and the parental fear of not being able to afford The Very Best Hot New Toy for your kid. Unfortunately for the kid in question, this doll -- purchased at a discount from a shady street vendor -- also happens to be possessed by a serial killer. Oops. The movie spawned a ton of sequels and one of the best-known and most beloved horror franchises, but it’s worth going back to the original and enjoying it in its seasonal and surprisingly earnest glory.

7. Jack Frost

In 1997, Michael Cooney directed a holiday horror with a batshit crazy premise. Confusingly, a feel-good holiday movie of the same name came out one year later. Be sure you’re getting the Cooney film. This movie is about a serial killer who crashes his truck and...uh...gets turned into a murderous snowman. Somehow. It’s a completely ridiculous concept rife with over-the-top violence and sex (the carrot nose gets used creatively at times). But if you want to shut off your brain and watch something utterly ludicrous while getting smashed on spiced nog, this is the film for you.

8. Red Christmas

I hesitated to include this movie because I’m not sure I can actually recommend it -- it’s not exactly good -- but I also don’t think most people have heard of it, and I’d like more folks to be aware of this madness so it’s not a thing I had to endure alone. Premise: A disfigured stranger crashes a family holiday and, predictably, starts killing them. The twist: The movie is also...kind of?...a militant anti-abortion propaganda? Except maybe it’s not, and it’s actually the exact opposite? Motive unclear. There is some excellently creative blood and gore, though.

9. Dead End

A routine family drive turns into a nightmare in this 2003 film. It’s kind of a psychological horror about a dysfunctional family working out their shit while also stuck on a literal never-ending roadtrip, a cabin in the woods, a probable ghost, and some mind-bending twists. I definitely watched this and enjoyed it well enough and then instantly forgot it until I was compiling this list, so that should set expectations.

10. Christmas Evil

Also known as “You Better Watch Out” and “Terror in Toyland,” this is the other 1980s slasher featuring a killer Santa. This one is about a guy who becomes obsessed with Santa Claus as a figure of judgment, and decides to go on a murder spree for, uh, reasons. Imagine if Bad Santa were a low-budget horror movie and you’ll get kind of close.

11.The Children

OK, this one’s cheating a bit because I haven’t actually seen it, so I can’t vouch for the quality. But it sounds fantastic and I plan to track down a copy immediately. The basic premise: A family holiday is interrupted by a mysterious illness that causes the children to become murderous little monsters. Creepy kids AND holidays? What’s not to love!

12. The Nightmare Before Christmas

Come on, you didn’t think I could make a list of holiday movies without including this one? Everyone is familiar with this movie now, I’m sure, but it’s a classic and the songs are catchy as hell. It also never fails to ignite my imagination as I wonder just how it must’ve felt to be those kids getting those decidedly un-festive presents that year.

I’m sure I’ve missed a few. Reblog or comment with your favs!

#horror movies #christmas movies #christmas #film recs #movie recs

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shenlongshao · 5 years

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GGS Redesign Analysis: Faust

The Frosty Faustings event has recently passed with memorable and intense matches. At the end, it reveals the gameplay trailer for the character the event is named after; Faust. This is a continuation of my in-depth analysis of the characters' redesigns(original post can be found here https://shenlongshao.tumblr.com/post/189263935197/gg-strive-thoughts-part-3 ). This will be a lengthy post that'll follow the same format like I did the others. I hope you enjoy reading!~

FAUST ---------

After unveiling the full title of the new Guilty Gear game, Faust was briefly shown. Many people, including myself, was surprised at huge change to his design. The latest trailer gave everyone a clearer look at his gameplay and how he seemingly conveying a darker essence in comparison to the usually bright, wacky, and compassionate persona he's known for. I'll begin by examining his past design as Dr.Baldhead.

Prior to his battle attire, Dr.Baldhead wears the uniform of his profession with a long, white doctor's coat. The buttons in front and two medical crosses on his upper sleeves is black. Underneath is a black dress-shirt with a red tie, though the design of his gloves and shoes are unique. His layered gloves concealing his palms is teal green while the finger part is black. His socks and shoes share the same color scheme with black straps around the ankles. Round-shaped glasses conceal his eyes and fitting to his name, he's also bald.

In his battle attire, Dr.Baldhead a.k.a Faust's very lean, yet somewhat athletic build can be seen on his legs and arms. A wide, white thick collar of the teal green tunic is worn on his body accented with soldier padded sleeves. There's multiple straps in the belt around his waist with a silver buckle in the center. Another interesting part of his design is he's the tallest Guilty Gear character(he's 9 FT. 3in' tall). It fits well with how initially he's a caring doctor who genuinely wants to help and save people, but the guilt of a young girl patient dying in his care spurs him into insanity and bloodlust. I think this design is very reminiscent of classic cartoon doctors or mad scientists being bald, skinny, and wearing round glasses. Which is fitting for his story at the time, but it didn't last for it was the beginning on the path of atonement; leading to the iconic look and name we know him as; Dr.Faust.

I love the creativity put into Faust's iconic look because it's something never seen before. His face is covered by a light brown paper bag with a bullet hole on his left "eye"(it's a mystery whether it's his actual eyes or his eyes are covered by glasses or a special eye gadget that makes it glow). He wears a tailored, white doctor's jacket with broad shoulder pads. Large black buttons is seen on the edges of his shoulders and the helms of his sleeves. On his upper sleeves is a singular belt while two belt straps is in the front to secure it in place. Underneath is blue dress-shirt with a black tie and wears green pants on his lower body. On his feet is brown penny loafers with two large black buttons in the front. White, blue, green, and brown has been Faust main colors throughout, conveying not only his profession as a doctor, but also his personality. White Personality(https://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/personality-color-white.html): Having a personality color white means you are neat and immaculate in your appearance, in the presentation of your home and in your car, almost to the point of being fanatical. You have impeccable standards of cleanliness and hygiene and you expect others to adhere to your high standards. You are well-balanced, sensible, discreet and wise. You may be wishing to create simplicity in your life - perhaps a wish to re-create your childhood, lost youth and happier times in your past life.White is totally reflective, awakening openness, growth and creativity. You can't hide behind it as it amplifies everything in its way. White is a color of protection and encouragement, offering a sense of peace and calm, comfort and hope, helping alleviate emotional upsets. It creates a sense of order and efficiency, a great help if you need to declutter your life. Blue Personality(https://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/personality-color-blue.html): You are genuine and sincere, and you take your responsibilities seriously. Having a personality color blue means you have a deep need for peace and harmony in your everyday life - you don't like having your feathers ruffled. You would benefit from daily meditation and quiet time for reflection, introspection and self-discovery. You appear to be confident and self-controlled, but may be hiding your vulnerable side. You are a rescuer and love to be needed but one of your lessons is to learn to love yourself first - you live from your heart and are always busy putting the needs of others first. You don't like to draw attention to yourself - you prefer to be in the background. You have a thirst for knowledge in order to gain wisdom and appear knowledgeable in whatever area interests you. Green Personality(https://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/personality-color-green.html): Having a personality color green means you are kind, generous and compassionate - good to have around during a crisis as you remain calm and take control of the situation until it is resolved. You are intelligent and love to learn - you are quick to understand new concepts. You like to be accepted, appreciated and admired for the good you do in the community as well as in your family life. Brown Personality(https://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/personality-color-brown.html): You are friendly and approachable, genuine and sincere. You feel uncomfortable about losing control but will work hard to change a situation that seems unjust or unfair. You are hard-working, industrious and reliable. The only thing missing is the description of Faust's cheerful and humorous side. But if you think about how green is the mix of yellow(the cheerful color) and blue, then it conveys this side of him. There is some tweaks to his design in GG Xrd SIGN and onwards to add extra color and detail.

All of the buttons that were black are changed to gray while his tie is colored yellow. Attached to the leather straps on his upper sleeves is red medical crosses along with a black one. His green pants has thin stripes, which gives a 1960s gentleman style to him. His primary colors are still the same, but let's look at the meaning of the extra colors added to him. Yellow Personality(https://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/personality-color-yellow.html): You have a happy disposition and are cheerful and fun to be with. You are creative, often being the one who comes up with new ideas - an ideas person who needs others to bring the ideas into reality - you tend to have your head in the clouds much of the time. You analyze everything, all the time, and are methodical in your thinking. You are spontaneous - you are able to think quickly on your feet and make instant decisions. You have a modern outlook. New technology doesn't faze you. You communicate well on a mental level with like-minded people, but can become bitter and sharp-tongued if crossed. Being the lightest hue of the spectrum, the color psychology of yellow is uplifting and illuminating, offering hope, happiness, cheerfulness and fun. Red Personality(https://www.empower-yourself-with-color-psychology.com/personality-color-red.html): As a personality color red, you are stimulating to be with and you radiate a great deal of energy. Lovers of red are the explorers and pioneers of the world, the entrepreneurs and builders who like to be first in discovering new physical realms. If you favor the personality color red you have a passion and enthusiasm for life and are not afraid to pursue your dreams and goals. You are a hard worker when you have a personality color red, and you specifically enjoy physical labor and working with your hands. All of these colors match Faust perfectly and love the little tweaks to his look. I think this is the best design for him and adds a special, unique essence to the world of Guilty Gear. In the story, Faust finally discovers the truth about the young patient that died is actually caused by the Conclave and is on the path of discovering the cure for the Japanese's illness. He continues to dig deeper and deeper into these, which likely leads to a redesign since these are huge story developments for him.

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Design-wise, the only thing kept from his previous look is the brown paper bag over his head. This shows that he hasn't reverted to being Dr.Baldhead(cause the bag is conveying shame of his past while also wanting to atone for it). It obviously isn't the same bag because in the previous game, it says "Wandering Doctor Faust". But in Strive, it has something different written on it, which you can see when viewed upside down. (Note: From now on, I’ll just link to the pictures since Tumblr is weird, XD). https://i.imgur.com/fL6ECm9.png It says "Blackhole Donuts & Cafe". There is also a sentence written under it, but due to the shadows, it's hard to see. I've tried to brighten and enlarge it abit. It's still somewhat hard to see, but I'm 70% sure it says "Our donuts are not whole...without the hole." This relates to Faust liking donuts(also one of his moves he randomly tosses out a donut). Let's look at the rest of him. https://i.imgur.com/ooBZQKR.png Faust is wearing the teal colored scrubs typical for surgeons and nurses to wear. In front of the shirt is a grunge type splatter with the white medical cross and the word "Good" written in lowercase. The 'd' if examined closely, has the hand sign for "Okay", hinting of Faust's quirkiness is still there. There's also something written on the upper back part of his shirt seen here, which I think most likely is "Stimulation". https://i.imgur.com/0Ivbpcn.png On his upper arms is double leather straps and white gloves with black medical crosses, which is derived from his coat as Dr.Baldhead. Underneath his shirt is what looks like medical utility belt with yellow straps attached to the large syringe. But I believe this belt is actually a medical tourniquet belt due to the design and how it's slightly above the waistline. A tourniquet generally is a special belt used to stop blood overflow from a terrible wound. Here's a picture of Faust's medical belt. https://i.imgur.com/YhpBrZy.png https://i.imgur.com/EaqoeLC.png Below is the tourniquet belt. https://i.imgur.com/mjka2pJ.png He still has his other medical supplies like the giant scalpel used as a weapon, a stethoscope, etc. The most striking and troubling aspect is how his body looks. It's true Faust has always been the skinniest character, but he never looked like he was anorexic. If you look at the Dr.Baldhead pictures, you can see some very lean muscle and even how his clothes fit him prior to GG Strive. There's also the dry skin patches around his chest and arm that likely caused from either a surgery or some type of injury. Lastly, on his feet is a pair of what some assume to be Nike type sneakers instead of penny loafers. It's mainly white with yellow trim and teal colored shoes laces. This time, his main color is Teal, so let's see what this means for Faust. Teal Personality(https://colorpsychologymeaning.com/color-teal/): Teal is reserved, intuitive and perhaps an introverted color, teal is different, yet it doesn’t look for attention. Teal is also unconventional, someone who likes teal appreciates those things that are a little bit different. They value their uniqueness and they don’t wish to just fit in with the crowd.Teal is also a cautious color, not impulsive and doesn’t take unnecessary risks. Teal personality is to think before acting.Those who like or wear teal are also probably open minded people, they like to keep their options open and they don’t judge situations and people quickly. They are also very likely to have creative, perhaps artist tendencies. Influences of Teal: Teal encourages objective and analytical thinking. Teal is calming and encourages introversion and reserved character traits. Teal can promote repression of emotions, can reduce feelings of empathy. Teal can discourage erratic and spontaneous thinking. You're probably thinking, "How can he be calming when he looks so creepy?!" Lol! I totally understand that feeling from watching the trailer. But there are 2 things in keep in mind that'll help ease the creepiness. Anyone in the medical department purposely wear colors that not only represent cleanliness, but also calm and friendly so their patients feel safe and cared for. Faust has always worn colors to reflect this along with his personality; he truly cares about other people and tries to help through medicine. Teal is one of these colors, but there is another side to it you probably notice; the part where it says "promote repression of emotions". Repression means to hold something or someone back by force, and since Faust isn't acting his usual expressive self, it hints of something caused him to be "repressed", disoriented, etc. What happened to poor Faust??? Obviously, the best answer would be "wait until the game is released to find out". But this doesn't mean we can't theorize based on what happened in his story! GG Theory Time: Faust has possibly found a cure for the illness plaguing the Japanese, but he's paying a heavy price for it. Do you remember when Faust was researching in the Royal Library? If not, please watch this video(You'll have to skip to 13:37 to see).

youtube

Notice there's a pile of books he has thoroughly read, including 3 called "The Black Sunrise", "Rise to Power", and Eripmavs's Memoir".

"Eripmavs's Memoir= Eripmavs's D Yraid": This has a weird name, but look at it in reverse, it's really "Vampire D's Diary". If you didn't know, this is Slayer's memoir about what happened before, during, and after The Crusades.

"The Black Sunrise": In the GG Library, it's from how a travelling author described the destruction of Japan caused by Justice was like; the sunrise upon the jet-black ocean.

"Rise to Power": This one isn't mention in the GG library, or probably not directly. But if watching everything that happened in the story, it's likely about Gear Cells. Particularly, how Japanese were converted into anti-matter Gears through Information Flares that rewrites their DNA. And how Ki Overlow Syndrome is a side effect of massive amount of Mana and data from The Backyard. My theory is Faust has got the same disease as the Japanese. We currently don't see him have migraines or fevers, but do see he's suffering the severe symptoms like being listless(lacking energy) and feeble(lacking physical strength, especially from illness or age). There's also how his reality-warping powers, etc. has been enhanced alot from looking at the trailer of his gameplay(example how he has Chipp appear from the dimensional wormhole he opened). When you think about the legend beyond the name "Faust", he could have also gained massive amount of Mana(Magic) and Information(Knowledge) from The Backyard. This probably somehow helped him find out the cure for Japanese and created the medicine. What I mean by this is NOT him going into The Backyard itself, but it’s how the side effects of the Ki Overflow Syndrome has a double-edge sword result for him. The skin patches around his chest and arm could be surgeries he performed on himself as part of testing, or either the P.W.A.B, The Conclave, or whatever the new threat will be did it. I think for his story in Guilty Gear Strive, it's going to highlight the dilemma similar to the Faust legend of "Can Faust become a true super-human, be resolute and redeemed? Or will he prove his human weakness and unsuitability and be doomed?"

Link to information about the legend of "Faust"(not the GG character, but the tale the character's based from): https://www.faust.com/ It's time to give my opinion and rating on his new design. After getting over the shock of how different(but beautifully) he animates and the dark vibe mixed with his silliness, it suffers the same issue I have with May's. Instead of it being equal or better than the iconic look, it's a huge downgrade. The scrubs doesn't have any style except for the words in front and back of his shirt, which that can easily be printed on. His gloves are okay, but I think it could've been better like adding some trim or even take inspiration from his Dr.Baldhead look. His sneakers also isn't very unique or stylish either, just very generic. It's probably why they have him in shadows so much cause of how basic he looks, XD. Rating: E(Epic Fail!)

#guilty gear #guilty gear strive #guilty gear 2020 #GG2020 #GG Strive #Faust #dr.faust #Dr.Baldhead #Character redesign #character analysis #GG Theory #Faust(guilty gear)

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vinylexams · 5 years

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A very special fireside interview with XUXA SANTAMARIA

Check Insta for our thoughts on this landmark album from Oakland duo XUXA SANTAMARIA. Stay right where you are to read a really fun interview I scored with the band this week. They’ve just released Chancletas D’Oro on Ratskin Records out of Oakland and Michael blessed me with my very own copy. It was so good I knew I needed to tell you all about it and I wanted to pick their brains a little bit, too. Without further ado, please enjoy:

//INTERVIEW

You’re still breaking into indie world at large, but you’ve already got a huge following back in California and your home-base in Oakland. What has it been like to be featured in major outlets like The Fader?

SC: We are a funny project; we ebb and flow from being total hermits to having periods of relatively high visibility (relative to aforementioned hermit state). I wouldn’t say we have a huuuge following in CA but I do think that the ‘fandom’ we’ve developed here is really genuine because we don’t play shows out of an obligation to remain visible but instead do so because we feel super passionate about the work and the audience and I think people respond to that energy. I for one, and perhaps this is because of my background in performance, have a hard time performing the same stuff over and over without change which accounts for us being selective with our playing live. That’s also why videos are such an important part of what we’re about. The piece in The Fader was important to the launch of this album because it established some of the themes and, to an extent, the aesthetics of this album in a way that can be experienced outside of a live setting. None of this is to say we don’t like playing live, in fact we love it, we just like to make our sets pleasurable to ourselves and to our audience by constantly reworking it. We strike a weird balance for sure but we’ve made peace with it. If we ever ‘make it’ (lol) it’ll be on these terms.

Chancletas D'Oro is a pretty incredible record and while it reminds me of a few bands here or there, it’s got a really fresh and unique style that merges dance with all sorts of flavors. How would you describe your music to someone who is curious to listen?

MGK: Haha, we generally struggle to describe our music in a short, neat way (not because we make some kind of impossible-to-categorize music, but just because it’s the synthesis of a ton of different influences and it’s hard for US to perceive clearly). But with that caveat in mind - IDK, bilingual art-punk influenced dance/electronic music?

SC: Thank you for saying so, we’re pretty into it :) Like Matt says, we struggle to pin it down which I think is in part to what he says – our particular taste being all over the place, from Drexciya to The Kinks to Hector Lavoe- but I think this slipperiness has a relationship to our concept making and world building. As creative people we make and intake culture like sharks, always moving, never staying in one place too long. Maybe it’s because we’re both so severely ADHD (a boon in this instance tbh) that we don’t sit still in terms of what we consume and I think naturally that results in an output that is similarly traveling. Point is, the instance a set of words - ‘electronic’, ‘dance’, ‘punk’- feel right for the music is the same instance they are not sufficient. I propose something like: the sound of a rainforest on the edge of a city, breathy but bombastic, music made by machines to dance to, pleasurably, while also feeling some of the sensual pathos of late capitalism as seen from the bottom of the hill.

The internet tells me you’ve been making music as Xuxa Santamaria for a decade now. What has the evolution and development of your songwriting been like over those ten years?

MGK: Well, when we first started out as a band we were so new to making electronic music (Sofia’s background was in the art world and mine was in more guitar-based ‘indie rock’ I guess - lots of smoking weed and making 4 track tapes haha), so we legit forgot to put bass parts on like half the songs on our first album LOL. We’ve learned a lot since then! But in seriousness, we’ve definitely gotten better at bouncing ideas back and forth, at putting in a ton of different parts and then pulling stuff back, and the process is really dynamic and entertaining for both of us.

SC: This project started out somewhat unusually: I was in graduate school and beginning what would become a performance practice. I had hit a creative roadblock working with photography - the medium I was in school to develop- and after reading Frank Kogan’s Real Punks Don’t Wear Black felt this urge to make music as a document of experience following Kogan’s excellent essay on how punk and disco served as spatial receptacles for a wealth of experiences not present in the mainstream of the time. I extrapolated from this notion the idea that popular dance genres like Salsa, early Hip Hop, and Latin Freestyle among many others, had served a similar purpose for protagonists of a myriad Caribbean diasporas. These genres in turn served as sonic spaces to record, even if indirectly, the lived experiences of the coming and going from one’s native island to the mainland US wherein new colonial identities are placed upon you. From this I decided to create an alter ego (ChuCha Santamaria, where our band name originally stems from) to narrate a fantastical version of the history of Puerto Rico post 1492 via dance music. We had absolutely no idea what we were doing but I look back on that album (ChuCha Santamaria y Usted - on vinyl from Young Cubs Records) fondly. It’s rough and strange and we’ve come so far from that sound but it’s a key part of our trajectory. Though my songwriting has evolved to move beyond the subjective scope of this first album - I want to be more inclusive of other marginalized spaces- , it was key that we cut our teeth making it. We are proud to be in the grand tradition of making an album with limited resources and no experience :P

We’re a big community of vinyl enthusiasts and record collectors so first and foremost, thanks for making this available on vinyl. What does the vinyl medium mean to you as individuals and/or as a band?

MGK: I think for us, it’s the combination of the following: A. The experience of listening in a more considered way, a side at a time. B. Tons of real estate for graphics and design and details. C. The sound, duh!

SC: In addition to Matt’s list, I would just say that I approach making an album that will exist in record form as though we were honing a talisman. Its objecthood is very important. It contains a lot of possibility and energy meant to zap you the moment you see it/ hold it. I imagine the encounter with it as having a sequence: first, the graphics - given ample space unlike any other musical medium/substrate- begin to tell a story, vaguely at first. Then, the experience of the music being segmented into Side A and Side B dictate a use of time that is impervious to - at the risk of sounding like an oldie - our contemporary habit of hitting ‘shuffle’ or ‘skip’. Sequencing is thus super important to us (this album has very distinct dynamics at play between sides a/b ). We rarely work outside of a concept so while I take no issue with the current mode of music dissemination, that of prioritizing singles, it doesn’t really work for how we write music.

MGK: We definitely both remain in love with the ‘album as art object/cohesive work’ ideal, so I would say definitely - we care a lot about track sequencing, always think in terms of “Side A/Side B” (each one should be a distinct experience), and details like album art/inserts/LP labels etc matter a lot to us.

What records or albums were most important to you growing up? Which ones do you feel influenced your music the most?

SC: I know they’re canceled cus of that one guy but I listened to Ace of Base’s The Sign a lot as a kid and I think that sorta stuff has a way of sticking with you. I always point to the slippery role language plays in them being a Swedish band singing in English being consumed by a not-yet-English speaking Sofía in Puerto Rico in the mid 90s. Other influences from childhood include Garbage, Spice Girls, Brandy + Monica’s The Boy is Mine, Aaliyah, Gloria Trevi, Olga Tañon etc etc. In terms of who influences me now, that’s a moving target but I’d say for this album I thought a lot about the sound and style of Kate Bush, Technotronic, Black Box, Steely Dan, ‘Ray of Light’-era Madonna plus a million things I’m forgetting.

MGK: Idk, probably a mix of 70-80s art rock/punk/postpunk (Stooges, Roxy Music, John Cale, Eno, Kate Bush, Talking Heads, Wire, Buzzcocks, etc etc), disco/post-disco R&B and dance music (Prince, George Clinton, Chic, Kid Creole), 90s pop + R&B + hip hop (Missy & Timbaland, Outkast/Dungeon Family production-wise are obviously awe-inspiring, So So Def comps, Jock Jams comps, Garbage & Hole & Massive Attack & so on), and unloved pop trash of all eras and styles.

Do you have any “white whale” records that you’ve yet to find?

MGK: Ha - the truth is that we’re both much more of a “what weird shit that we’ve never heard of can we find in the bargain bin” type of record buyer than “I have a custom list of $50 plus records on my discogs account that I lust over”.

SC: Not really, I’m wary of collectorship. That sort of ownership might have an appeal in the hunt, once you have it do you really use it, enjoy it? Funnily, I have a massive collection of salsa records that has entries a lot of music nerds would cry over (though they’re far from good condition, the spines were destroyed by my Abuela’s cat, Misita lol, but some are first pressings in small runs). For me its value however, comes from its link to family, as documents from another time and as an amazing capsule of some of the best music out of the Caribbean. I’m glad I am their guardian (a lot of this stuff is hard to find elsewhere, even digitally) but I live with those records, they’re not hidden away in archival sleeves, in fact, I use some of that music in my other work. Other than that, the records I covet are either those of friends or copies of albums that hold significance but which are likely readily available, Kate Bush’s The Dreaming or Love’s Forever Changes, or The Byrds Sweetheart of The Rodeo as random examples

Finally, is there a piece of interesting band trivia you’ve never shared in another interview?

SC: haha, not really? Maybe that we just had a baby together?

Congrats on your new baby, and also for this wonderful new album. It was a pleasure chatting with you and I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for you and your music!

#xuxasantamaria #interview #oakland #music #electronic #electronicmusic #ratskin #ratskinrecords

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corvincaws · 6 years

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Spreading Their Wings: In Conversation With Foxes And Peppers

Foxes and Peppers is the musical alias for the duo of Fox Amoore and Pepper Coyote. Over the past few years, they’ve been taking the furry fandom by storm with their energetic live shows and albums full of original content.

In January, their first non-convention show in the UK was announced at the Cavern Club in Liverpool. I sat down with Fox and Pepper before their show and had a chat with them about their upcoming album, music in the fandom, and Nashville.

You’ve been performing together for four years. What sparked you two to start working together musically?

Fox Amoore: Roughly three to four years ago, we were doing a convention together. I originally had another singer I was going to work with, but he couldn’t make it due to unforeseen circumstances. I then learned that Pepper was going to be at the convention-

Pepper Coyote: I was not going to be at the convention. You asked me to.

FA: Were you not?

PC: You asked me to, remember?

FA: Okay, so I thought Pepper was going to be at the convention, but then I contacted him anyway and then he said “Yeah, I’m gonna go”. So then all of a sudden we were looking at each other’s songs and wondering what we could scrape together in the next few minutes before we were to go on stage to perform. We somehow managed to pull together 10 songs that we had done individually and worked our way up from there. People liked it, and afterwards one of our friends came up with the name Foxes and Peppers, and that was where it started.

PC: At the time I had just moved to Phoenix and into my “temporary” apartment - and it was temporary because it was kind of terrible. It was the day I had finally gotten a mattress. It was my first time really moving away from home or university. It was about 5am, because Fox was emailing me in UK time, and I received a message saying “Hey, can you do a show? Here are the songs we think we want to do”, and it worked out and Fox thought I was consistent enough to do shows together. It worked out really organically, it was neat. There was no recruiting or anything, it just kind of happened.

How does it feel to be playing your first non-convention show in the UK at a venue like the Cavern Club?

FA: It’s pretty special. We’re very used to playing conventions. It’s really cool being able to play at a venue with such an amazing amount of history for the first time. But we wouldn’t be doing this without the support of the fandom anyway, because for this show it’s going to be predominantly furries coming to the show anyway to support us, so it’s kinda cool to be able to play a convention and then sort of move out from it and play regular venues like the Cavern Club or the Ivory Blacks in Glasgow.

PC: We’re extremely lucky to have the size of audience we have. Our problem is that our fan base is widely distributed. So furry conventions work out because people get concentrated into “Okay, we’re all going to go to this one event” so our fans are in the same place. When you do a show just in Liverpool, there aren’t just a thousand furs just hanging out already in the same place. It lends us a new set of challenges and I’m excited to see how it works out. I’m always the type who is very nervous and hesitant about success until it’s happened. I’ve already started getting the jitters about performing in the Cavern, I’ll be trying to ignore them for the rest of the day.

FA: Are you sure that’s not the coffee?

PC: [laughs] It started before the coffee.

Your new album, Spread Thy Wings, comes out on the 1st December. Did you have a similar thought process with this album as you did with Hashtag?

FA: We kind of went along a similar premise where I would write chords, Pepper would write lyrics, I would sometimes write lyrics, he would sometimes write chords, I would score an orchestra, he would score out choir parts, so we kind of get together and collab as much as we possibly can and then create the album. That’s basically what Hashtag was. With Spread Thy Wings it was kind of the same concept on a larger scale in a big professional studio.

PC: It’s extremely rewarding to be in a collaboration where we seem to genuinely do 50/50 of the composing and the creative work. It’s cool. Anybody reading this who has tried to do group work at school, you know what that’s like sometimes. I think we found something special here that we’re gonna hold on to as long as we can.

Do you have any big plans for this album next year? Where are you taking it?

PC: This is the big!

FA: This really is the biggest thing we have planned for it so far. Obviously next year we have a lot of convention bookings. We’re waiting to see how this show goes. If it turns out we can fill the Cavern Club then it looks like we could actually do this kind of thing more in the future. We can look into that and actually do a set that is mainly focused on Spread Thy Wings, but at the moment we’re kind of going with the flow. Once the Cavern’s done, once MFF [Midwest FurFest] has been and passed and we’ve released it then I guess we’ll see where it takes us.

PC: We’ll continue to have the big furcon shows. The exciting new part is the potential for big “noncon” shows. I’ll assume the plan is mostly to be in the States. I don’t want to say that everything depends on this show, but quite a bit depends on it and that adds to the nerves.

What encouraged you to choose Nashville as the location to record the album?

PC: If you think of music in the US, that’s the city that you think of. If you ask someone “Where does music happen?” they’ll say Nashville. We also realized that it was a good choice because the quality of studio musicians that are just around the area. Most people know it for country music, but currently Nashville has a ton of session musicians who just hang out and record all the soundtracks to the video games you play, so if you wanted to book an orchestra then they’ll come in and play your songs.

FA: I feel that as a musician, Nashville is the place you want to end up. For me, Nashville is a dream, but because of the level of support that people actually give us it was an attainable goal that we felt we could actually try and accomplish. So we contacted Ocean Way [the studio in Nashville the album was recorded at] and said “Hey, what are the stipulations? What do you need from us? What deposit do we need to get into this studio?”. We worked it out with them and worked it into the Kickstarter and told our fan base, “Look, if we can raise this amount of money we can record in a world class studio in Nashville.” And it was incredible. The atmosphere of the city is nothing like anything else I’ve ever experienced.

PC: It’s also really small! Like you hear “Nashville, the big city!”. It’s like a big little town. It’s cosy at the same time, it doesn’t have intimidating factor that even somewhere like Liverpool has, like the tallest building I think is like, 8 or 9 stories.

You recorded this album with quite a few musicians in the fandom. Would you say that music is sort of under-appreciated, or that it hasn’t reached a big audience?

PC: It’s kind of lacking people putting out records. I know tons of musicians in the fandom, there’s just very few that publish, if that makes sense. It’s as if you had a ton of friends who are like “I’ve been writing a book!” and they never quite put it out for you to read. There are plenty of musicians in the fandom. The collaboration that we do is kind of difficult because we live so far apart, and that adds a whole other layer to it. You have to be lucky enough to have enough people in the fandom who live near you to make your band, or go solo, or do a long-distance collaboration. All of which are inhibiting factors that I think leads to fewer live musicians in the end - which is also why I think there’s so much electronic music in the fandom, because you can do it solo. It’s kind of the norm, you can do it yourself.

FA: With the fandom growing I’ve definitely noticed more and more musicians are starting to get involved, and honestly, that’s really great to see.

PC: I’m excited to see Xephyr that weekend! At MFF we’re seeing a hard rock band called Xephyr, they’re Canadian, they’ve got a record going. I’m hoping they take off.

FA: There’s a jazz band, Swingin’ Tails, they’re playing.

PC: They’re great.

FA: There’s Divine Dragon Cannon, they’re playing. There’s actually a bunch of bands and musicians at MFF, so I guess when you look at the larger context you start to see that there are musicians in the fandom.

PC: But compare how many live bands there are to how many DJs. There are musicians, just the ratio is off. But I see it as a ‘rising tide raises all ships’ sort of thing. More live music is good for everyone - it seems to be going that way - and hopefully it continues.

FA: I also know some really talented musicians who are great solo singers and perform and release stuff online. For a lot of them they have anxiety issues being on stage. You come across a lot of that, not just in the fandom but I think in general too. You can get very talented musicians who are too scared to go and express themselves. If you’re reading this, don’t ever be scared to take your opportunity and go up on stage.

PC: It’s kind of why it’s nice to do the long-distance online collaboration. You can record a track and send it to someone without having to get in front of people necessarily. We actually have a few people that we’ve worked with who took a while to get on stage. We were like “It’ll be alright, you can do well and perform on stage and it won’t be terrible. You’re a fantastic performer, we have a recording to prove it”.

About the distance, how difficult is it for you to record stuff together?

PC: It’s remote so it’s actually super easy, we just email each other stuff.

FA: Yeah, we have similar setups in our houses so we send each other our scratch tracks, we send each other ideas, our chord sheets, and we’ll gradually add stuff to it. We quite often hire musicians like a guitarist or drummer to actually play on the tracks as well. Dropbox is our friend for this sort of thing.

PC: Yeah, Dropbox is great. [laughs] Shout out Dropbox, please sponsor us!

FA: Hah, the amount of times we’ve used it! We have large dropboxes that we share with band members and they listen to the parts. We play the synthetic drums and then we take those synthetic drums out. They then play the live drums over that, it’s then recorded into the track, they send it back to us, and we mix and master it.

PC: We essentially have assembled five or six “home recording” people and made a band out of that. We’re not the first ones to do that.

FA: It’s fun, though.

You fundraised the album through Kickstarter. How supportive would you say the furry fandom is when it comes to supporting its talent such as artists and musicians?

PC: I am shocked we get the level of support we get. I feel entirely undeserving of the amount of money that people seem willing to give to us. In the past two years we’ve done three total Kickstarters between the two of us. Fox had one, I had one, then we had one, and they were all successful. People are super generous. Before I got into the fandom I used to play regular bar shows. You’d sell maybe, an album if you we lucky. We’ll play a convention and we’ll sell 30 or 40 of them. The fact that people are willing to put down money for what they support is really cool, and it’s rare.

FA: I think generally as well that furries really do appreciate original content. It’s what you do as a furry, you create your own character, you create an original thing, and I guess when you’re doing creations like that maybe it speaks to them.

PC: Even the shirt I’m wearing right now is not from a store - some furry made it. Somebody that’s just decided “I want to make shirts” and they did it. If it’s good, people will buy it. Everybody in this fandom is clever enough on a computer to pirate our music if they wanted. They don’t support us because they necessarily need the music as a commodity. They just like us and choose to support us. I like that.

I’ve heard many people say that you are a staple of their convention experience. Did you ever see yourself getting as popular as you are?

PC: I started playing in stairwells at conventions. I was the guy with the guitar that security would say “Get out of here, you’re being too loud” to. [laughs]. So, no. I did not see that coming.

FA: I wasn’t expecting it either. I remember years and years ago when I put my first track on FurAffinity. I was not expecting it to roll the way it did. I wasn’t expecting to be on main stage at MFF. We’re on the MFF main stage like, next weekend.

PC: That did not happen instantly.

FA: No, it didn’t. It has been a great deal of effort going from, as you said, stairwells at conventions. From a panel room to a secondary stage.

PC: And then you get to main stage at like, 10am.

FA: [laughs] You gradually work your way up the ladder.

PC: Don’t give up on doing your paneling. If you’re reading this remember that success only comes after a whole lot of failure usually. Unless you get a mysterious benefactor who wants to fund you.

FA: So honestly, no, we weren’t expecting it because we don’t ever expect to get to where we are. We’re just having fun with it and wherever we get with it is just a bonus.

PC: It means a lot that somebody would say that we’re a staple of their experience.

FA: It does mean a lot. Thank you.

PC: If we improve someone’s con, awesome.

Spread Thy Wings by Foxes and Peppers is released on the 1st December. You can get it here.

#fox amoore #pepper coyote #music #interviews

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thespoonplayer · 6 years

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(DJ) Spoon’s Review of 2018

This year I haven’t listened to much music at all, at least not in comparison to previous years and I certainly haven’t been to many gigs. I’m sure this won’t last but this year I’ve been busier at work so less likely to plug in, I’ve stuck to the radio in the car just to keep up with how messy Brexit really is (ooer a bit of politics) and my runs have been 100% fueled by podcasts so music has just taken a backseat. However, I couldn’t let the year go past without some kind of list...so here is a pot pourri of my favourite discoveries of 2018.

1. Podcasts

Seeing as these have been so important this year I’ll start here...and cheat slightly by bigging up some oldies, but good enough to bang on about again.

Old favourites : Running Commentary (Comedians Paul Tonkinson and Rob Deering take you on their runs and chat sometimes about running, but always about life, kids, comedy and anything that pops into their heads), Adam Buxton (always entertaining ramble chat from Dr Buckles whoever is on, I’ve learnt stuff and I’ve laughed a lot), My Dad Wrote a Porno (Sheer filth as ever but genuinely caused me to LOL during my runs, wondering if people can hear that I’m listening to chat about vaginal lids).

New entries : Off Menu (Ed Gamble and James Acaster opened their genie run fantasy restaurant a month ago and it has quickly become one of my favourite podcasts ever. Eclectic guests pick their fantasy 3 course meals, simple premise and it works. The Scroobius Pip episode was a perfect clash of two excellent pods), Blank (another late entry into 2018 from Jim Daly and Giles Paley-Phillips ostensibly about blank moments in life but just rammed with infotaining chat from ‘non standard’ guests including a jaw dropping episode with Michael Rosen and fun with Gary Lineker and Susie Dent), Poddin’ on the Ritz (sadly now finished with maybe its only series) this pod recorded backstage at Young Frankenstein by Hadley Fraser and the sublime Ross Noble made me laugh more than any other in 2018, it might be about musicals but their search for Kenneth Branagh’s snowglobes and Lesley Joseph adoration was a joy.

2. Board games

They say a family that plays together, stays together. Well we are together more than you can imagine. We’ve played over 220 games this year! Here are our favourite new games into our collection:

The game of the year is Azul, a seemingly simple tile grab and place game, building up a mosaic prettier than anyone else, is full of strategy and a little (but not too much) shafting of others. If you really want to shaft your fellow players though then pick up Unstable Unicorns, a card game where you aim to grow your stable of unicorns, whilst stopping others filling theirs. SO many different cards, tactics and ways to mess it up, you will swear at some point. Discovered in the excellent new board game cafe The Dice Box in Leamington, we bought Meeple Circus before we left, it’s that much fun. Rehearse and perform the best tiny wooden meeple circus performance, accompanied by a bespoke playlist. Stack the acrobats, balance the lions and raise the bar. Another board game cafe, Chance & Counters in Bristol introduced us to the frantic game of Klask, a cross between air hockey, pool and table football. Slide the magnets around to flick a ball into your opponents hole, avoid the magnetic biscuits and don’t KLASK! When is a game not a game? another game of the year has been played a lot in our house, and it’s The Mind. 100 cards numbered 1-100, no words between players and a tense task to lay cards in ascending order. Simple? yes? possible? nope! but it’s sure to cause fun and arguments. The final two of MY favourite sadly aren’t quite as loved by my family, but I’ll get them there. Sagrada is a similar game to Azul with you attempting to build a beautiful stained glass window with coloured dice. More variations and thinking needed than Azul which adds to the challenge. And finally and lovely chess like 2 player game which transports you to the sun dappled Greek island of Santorini. Take the powers of a god and build the traditional blue domed white houses of the island whilst trying to stop your opponent climbing onto a roof. A lot of ‘aha, you’ve stopped me’ moments.

3. TV

It’s been a long old year at work, and in the world of parenting so we’ve found ourselves flopped on the settee many evenings just soaking up great drama, comedy and chilling ;o)

We are very late to the party with Suits but that means we have 8 series to wade through! Really neat writing, bants and relationships between characters, a ‘don’t worry they will always win’ calmness about it and you get to see the Queen in her knickers...ish. Another Netflix treat this year was Magic for Humans with Justin Willman, a hugely likeable and funny magician pulling off tricks that constantly make me smirk with a huge dollop of WTF? amazing. A huge recommendation. A late entry to my TV highlights of 2018 is from the warped warped mind of Charlie Brooker...of course with Bandersnatch. An interactive choose your own adventure TV ‘event’ (I know) that had us hooked for the full 90 minutes (only if you want to see how much bloodshed you can invoke!). Completely on the other end of the spectrum was the sublime and minimalistic Mortimer and Whitehouse: Gone Fishing. I don’t like fishing and why would I find two old mates just teasing each other for half an hour entertaining? No idea but it was beautiful. Like Radio 4, comforting and perfect. Then a few suspenseful dramas that got us on the edge of the settee, Killing Eve (quirky AF), Bodyguard (did they really kill Keely Hawes that early?) and Informer (bleak bleak bleak) and sweaty bullocks in ‘should be in the next section really’ Bird Box (made Informer seem like a giggle fest).

4. Films

Really haven’t been to the cinema much in the last 12 months and only once to see a ‘grown up’ film I think but kid’s films are SO good at the moment that’s ok. A few stand out films for me were:

Ralph Breaks the Internet, much better than the first one, lots of #lolz internet jokes and more than a little heart. Wrap me up in a duvet and give me a hot cocoa and Paddington 2 any day, tears at the end. A little more sighing but just as much emotion in Christopher Robin, not sure why Eeyore had an American accent but the characters were spot on and nicely faithful to the original concepts. The one time I did venture out for an adult (it’s a 12 so almost ;o) and saw Ready Player One I was delighted, yeah it might not be a) as good as or b) anything like the book but a visual treat and an enjoyable romp.

5. Books

I read A LOT, until my Kindle donks me on the head in bed anyway...literally a tiny selection of books that have kept me awake.

The Secret Lives of Colour - Kassia St Clair. They say never judge a book by its cover. Well that didn’t work...I bought this purely because it is a beautiful package, the hardback a lot more pleasing imho. Simply 2 coloured pages about how each colour was discovered, invented and introduced throughout history. I never really gave it a thought that colours were...made. Weird and fascinating.

This Is Going to Hurt - Adam Kay. A hilarious ‘secret’ diary of a junior doctor that horrifies at the same time. I think we all knew it was a hard life but bloody hell, if you didn’t love the NHS before you will after this. A thoroughly enjoyable and insightful story of Adam’s journey through medicine. And that ending...wooof.

Moose Allain - I Wonder What I’m Thinking About. I love Moose, I love his colour-me-advent calendars, I love his tweet threads that show the best in Twitter, I love his cartoons and this book is all of those wrapped up in one. And a certain Mr Spoon is to thank for the publication, find me in the back of Unbound funders! An inspiring book for anyone who loves art, creativity and childish humour.

Factfulness : Ten Reasons We’re Wrong About the World - Hans Rosling. A brilliantly clever and educational book about why the world is NOT as shit as it might seem some times. It’s all backed up by real data and lovely lovely graphs!

Lee Child and Ian Rankin. A highlight of the year is the next Reacher and Rebus novels and these two didn’t disappoint. Rebus’ latest adventure Past Tense, is a self-contained story that could introduce anyone to the man machine that is Jack Reacher. Rebus however is back, retired but won’t lie down, in In A House of Lies, an old case comes back to haunt him and will this finally be his downfall? I doubt it!

6. Music

As mentioned, I haven’t ‘been into music’ as much in 2018 for various reasons but I’ve still enjoyed some great new discoveries:

Barns Courtney - The Attractions of Youth, discovered via the use of Glitter and Gold for the theme tune of Netflix’s Safe. An album of ‘cheesy, commercially viable blues and folk rock’ apparently. I just liked the visceral nature of some of the tracks and it always fired me up at work on slow days.

Isaac Gracie - Isaac Gracie, a rare listened to recommendation from my wife. Isaac is everything I claim to like, fragile thin sensitive boys with acoustic guitars....and I do very much with this. Painful screeched out tales of heartbreak. Sublime.

R.E.M. - Live at the BBC, 104 rare and live tracks from arguably one of the best bands ever. Some of the tracks I haven’t heard since my bootleg cassette buying days at Sheffield Uni, when the world was in black and white. Not all tracks are of the greatest audio quality but bliss for a fanboy like me.

Creep Show - Mr Dynamite, a spin off project for Mr John Grant and even from the eclectic crooner this is an odd one. Glitchy electronica with vocoders all over the place. Weird and very Marmite.

Public Service Broadcasting - Every Valley and everything else. The latest offering from the other PSB was a trip through the miner’s crisis and Thatcher years. Bleak? yup but fascinating snippets of well, public service broadcasting and guest stars including the obligatory Welsh rockers the Manics. This album is perfect by itself but it ‘forced’ me to go back and really discover all the PSB albums. The Live at Brixton release is a huge recommendation, I wish I was there.

Rex Orange County - Apricot Princess, maybe I just added this in to seem cool as Rex, aka Alexander O’Conner, was ‘one to watch in 2018′ from the BBC. A multi-instrumentalist that dabbles with hippity hop, R&B and piano pop. The first track alone contains about three musical styles if you wait.

7. Food & Drink

I run, because I really like food. And thankfully I’ve run a lot in 2018 so I got to enjoy a lot.

I was introduced to the weird fermented tea monstrosity that is kombucha by my sister-in-law. Vinegar tasting drink that may or may not help your gut that grows in your living room. WTAF? However, health benefits aside the LA Brewery Strawberry and Black Pepper drink is something, alongside my pilgrimage to Leon, worth going to London for. I’ve heard it’s also for sale in Solihull but I don’t often travel that far beyond my class ;o) I’d say, try it...but I suspect 9/10 people with hate the flavour.

I suspect 10/10 people that try the Aldi Black Forest Mince Pies would love them, but you won’t get a chance as I’ve bought them ALL. Aldi are a bugger for getting you hooked then never restocking. I only managed 10 boxes in 2018 and we’ve rationed well so have 12 left to get us through the bleak January weather. Cherries, Dark Chocolate, Chocolate pastry and a smidge of mincemeat. Perfect!

There are many ingredient delivery services available and I’ve only tried Gousto but I don’t know why you’d go anywhere else. 33 recipes tried and 32 of them I’d have again, with the one not so good one was still far better than anything I’d cook by myself. So easy, so tasty and if you want to try it I can give you a big discount that will help us buy another box, a tad expensive without a discount but worth a treat every so often.

Genuinely I traveled to London just to visit Max’s Sandwich Shop...kinda. It was certainly the deciding factor in a day out at the Summer Exhibition (see below). I downloaded the Kindle version of this book when it was promoted in an email, I bought some Scampi Fries and made a Fish Finger sandwich, I crumbled up some Ginger Nuts into a Mascarpone and Jam sandwich and I made a Fried Egg, Shoestring Fried and Gammon sandwich then I NEEDED to go and see how it’s really done. Amazing over the top sandwiches in a rough little hipster cafe in Stroud Green (no me neither and it’s a long walk from the tube!). So good I had to a) buy the hard copy of the book and b) carry half the sandwich home as even I couldn’t manage it all...not with deep fried macaroni balls filling me up ;o)

8. Places

A family that plays together, stays together as a great man once said. And we don’t just play inside, we love adventures so adventures we had.

I’d never been to the Royal Academy Summer Exhibition, as it’s in that there London which often seems hundreds of miles away...but I’m so glad that I visited this year. A trip with a good friend with neither of us knowing quite what to expect. We saw, and laughed, and marveled at, paintings, sculptures, videos, photos, models, and weirdness by Banksy next to Joe Lycett next to Grayson Perry next to Harry Hill, next to me mate Lorsen Camps from Coventry. The SA allows ANYONE to submit artwork for consideration and anyone can be accepted. I think this has to become a yearly visit, awesome.

My parents have been wanting to take our kids, and their big kid, to The Forbidden Corner in North Yorkshire for a few years now...and I’m so happy we finally got round to going. Started as a folly to entertain his children this huge labyrinthine site is crammed with strange sculptures, mazes, tricks and squirting fountains. Many hours were spent squeezing through holes, getting lost and getting wet. Beautifully eccentric.

A family holiday to Brittany meant we could visit the loopy city (it’s their phrase!) of Nantes and more importantly Les Machines d’Ile. Ostensibly the workshop of a group of engineers and artists that make huge animatronic machines and animals...that you can ride on! Needs to be seen to be believed, the Elephant brings out the big kid in everyone...and we can’t wait to go back in a few years when they’ve built a huge forest over the river with ride on caterpillars and dragonfly. Incredible. The city itself is dotted with crazy art and interactive pieces encouraging play, I know a city closer to home that should be the UK Loopy City of Culture!

Luckily Tilly is a Harry Potter obsessive AND it was her birthday last year so it gave us the excuse we didn’t need to visit the Warner Brothers Harry Potter Studio Tour. Wow, just wow. The incredible detail in everything made for the film, the engineering, the amount of artists involved and the presentation of the exhibition blew us away. I’ve enjoyed everything in this list but this maybe was the most magical in the best way.

Many many amazing experiences warrant a mention, but I just don’t have enough words, include Talking Birds - Walk with Me, Print Manufactory Darkroom Workshop, Ludic Rooms Random String Festival, Go Karting with Tilly, some dancing balloons in Broadgate, Godiva Festival with Tony Christie et al, Bristol Gromit trail, Disc Golfing with my girls, Edinburgh Fringe with Dick and Dom and with another wonderful dick from Coventry starring in Bon Jovi musical We’ve Got Each Other, Pandas! at Edinburgh Zoo, Matilda the Musical with Tilly at last, running the Coventry Mile with the girls’ school, Dippy the Dinosaur in Brum, Wicksteed Park (amazing family fun theme park like what they used to be), Cycling on Stratford Greenway in the sun, Autotesting at MotoFest, Bourton-on-the-Water (it’s just a shame 3 million other people know about this gorgeous village), Giant Pac Man in the city centre, Pork Pie making with a good friend, CET several times, Novelty Automation in London and being on The One Show, a couple of Hope & Social gigs and much much much more fun with my wonderful fam and friends. Roll on 2019!

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ubourgeois · 8 years

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Best Films of 2016

It’s finally done, whew

30. Moana (Ron Clements & John Musker) - The best so far of this generation of Disney musicals, benefits a lot from its stripped-down narrative. Great songs.

29. Fences (Denzel Washington) - Far too literal of a stage adaptation, but the source material is strong enough to translate, and the ensemble's as good as any other this year.

28. Mountains May Depart (Jia Zhangke) - Third act flies way off the rails, but it's forgivable in a movie that made so many other ballsy structural decisions. First two acts are top notch, too.

27. Knight of Cups (Terrence Malick) - Slides even further down the Malick-hole, for better or worse. This means a sharp drop in narrative clarity but a rise in visual splendor. Worth it.

26. The Lobster (Yorgos Lanthimos) - Yorgos Lanthimos continues to justify his artistic career by making movies that only he would ever make. Style translates surprisingly well in English.

25. Sing Street (John Carney) - Super cute little film. The original songs are both believably corny and actually fun. Makes a lot out of a fairly thin and tired premise.

24. Everybody Wants Some!! (Richard Linklater) - Not quite the successor to Dazed and Confused it was supposed to be, but it's remarkable that Linklater crafted something so sensitive and pure out of what is basically a bro party movie.

23. Aquarius (Kleber Mendonça Filho) - A kind of bloated but never boring political allegory. Lives and dies (but mostly lives) by Sonia Braga's incredible performance.

22. Elle (Paul Verhoeven) - Like the above, rests squarely on Isabelle Huppert's superhumanly capable shoulders. Verhoeven approaches his previous heights of provocation, as well.

21. Loving (Jeff Nichols) - A sweeter, more uplifting story than I thought Nichols had in him. Both very emotional and restrained, giving its subject the dignity it deserves.

20. Hail, Caesar! (Joel Coen & Ethan Coen) - The funniest Coen film in a while, with a lot of inspired sequences. What it lacks in focus it more than makes up for in razzle-dazzle.

19. Your Name (Makoto Shinkai) - I still doubt that Makoto Shinkai deserves the "Next Miyazaki" title people love to give him, but this is at least some compelling evidence to that claim. The best movie I've seen with the Freaky Friday setup.

18. The Fits (Anna Rose Holmer) - A bizarre and transfixing little movie with a great sense of kinetics. Makes me really eager to know if Royalty Hightower continues acting - she's film-justifying here.

17. Love & Friendship (Whit Stillman) - Do you want to like Jane Austen films, but wish they were less stodgy and faithful and more fun and loose? This is your movie.

16. The Wailing (Na Hong-jin) - Best horror movie of the year. Thoroughly lulls you into a false sense of security before delivering one of the most harrowing finales in years.

15. Midnight Special (Jeff Nichols) - Preempted Stranger Things' 80s scifi nostalgia and superpowered god-children, but wrapped them in a very different, more down-to-earth skin.

14. La La Land (Damien Chazelle) - Yeah, overrated, but there weren't many movies more fun or with a more charming leading pair this year. Knows what it wants to do and does the shit out of it.

13. Cemetery of Splendour (Apichatpong Weerasethakul) - It turns out if you wanna make a scene of a person sleeping interesting, you just need to add ambient noise and soothing colors. The rest of the movie's good too, but that sequence is a career highlight for Weerasethakul.

12. Aferim! (Radu Jude) - Remember when Quentin Tarantino tried to make a funny transplanted Western about the horrors of slavery and the absurdity of racism? This movie is what he failed to make, but in Romania.

11. Sunset Song (Terence Davies) - I struggle to connect with Davies films more often than not, but this is the single most visually stunning and inventive film of the year. Melodrama always works best when it looks dazzling.

10. Toni Erdmann (Maren Ade) - Even after seeing it, it's hard to describe what's so compelling about Toni Erdmann, or how it pulls of its bizarre premise as well as it does, but there's almost nothing this year that can compare to its final climactic scenes. Truly eludes description.

09. Paterson (Jim Jarmusch) - Gentle and meandering even by Jarmusch's standards, but makes even its remarkably low-stakes drama compelling. A neat little film on the value of routine and the beauty of the everyday - a cliche that Paterson is so committed to that it brings new life to the idea.

08. The Red Turtle (Michaël Dudok de Wit) - The most beautifully animated film I've seen in a couple years, despite its very basic characters and setting. If its plot is a little bare-bones, that's just so there's nothing to distract us from the amazing colors and movement on screen.

07. Embrace of the Serpent (Ciro Guerra) - Powerful as anticolonial commentary, as psychedelic cinema, as pseudo-ethnography, as coming-of-age story, as Amazonian landscape showcase... There really is a lot to unpack here.

06. Arrival (Denis Villeneuve) - Has a specificity of concept (linguist tries to understand cryptic aliens) that much of the best science fiction has, and incorporates that concept in genuinely creative and illuminating ways. Some may find the "answer" of the film cheesy or contrived, but it works hard enough that it deserves its leap of faith.

05. Moonlight (Barry Jenkins) - What is there left to be said? It's great, all the performers are wonderful, the cinematography is unique and inventive, it has important subject matter, etc etc etc. It lives up to the hype. Let the critics have their darling.

04. Silence (Martin Scorsese) - A film that contends with the struggles of faith with a great deal of honesty and wisdom. Doesn't offer easy, or even strictly coherent answers where they don't exist. Cements Scorsese as the spiritual filmmaker he's always been. Also, Issey Ogata is great.

03. Manchester By the Sea (Kenneth Lonergan) - An uncompromising film about grief, and how sometimes there's no recovering from it, that manages to have a sense of humor all the same - and not in the cheap way, either. The movie ends with, broadly, an admission that closure may not be possible, but specifically with a glib, self-deprecating joke. That kind of works as the whole film in microcosm.

02. The Handmaiden (Park Chan-wook) - There was not a single more wild film you could have seen in the theaters in the past year. Yes, it's hideously over the top, unrepentantly pulpy, and occasionally even a bit in poor taste, but that's the kind of game Park plays at his best - and he hasn't been in form this good since Oldboy.

01. Certain Women (Kelly Reichardt) - A really lovely collection of three short story adaptations about, well, some women. It's incredibly compassionate towards its characters and makes the best use of its beautiful Montana setting. It's difficult to describe its strengths in short - the three sections are all rather different - but suffice it to say that it does remarkably well with adapting the feel of a good short story and that no other film was as successfully itself in 2016.

#film #best of 2016 #best films of 2016

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