(Just some post-Vecna D&D shenanigans because Hellfire looked so, so serious, and D&D (IMO) is rarely like that.)
Eddie's a brutal DM. He loves putting his players through the ringer, because their victories against him are then so much sweeter. He knows they get frustrated, but they also get a sick satisfaction from the campaigns, so it works out.
Even after Vecna, when Will comes back to Indiana and joins their excommunicated Hellfire sessions, Eddie doesn't change too much. Vexing them is one of his favourite things to do, he's spent hours creating this storyline after all, and he loves watching the party flounder and pull together to succeed.
It all goes to pot when Steve first tries to play. At first, he can't remember any of the races or NPC names (OR the party's names, actually), so instead he gives them all his own nicknames, which Eddie fucking hates, but puts up with because Steve just gives him the 🥺 eyes. 'I'm new at this, Eds, I'm sorry.' And to the surprise of everyone else, it actually works.
(Eddie does not tell them why it works, and why he's immune to everyone else trying that same tactic. He and Steve have been together for a couple of months and are very much enjoying exploring that by themselves for now. Steve's not above taking advantage of Eddie during D&D though, if anything, dating the DM makes him more bold.)
The thing that winds Eddie up the most though? When Steve starts to get it together, figures out what he's doing, and starts joining in with character role play. He's competitive, gets frustrated when he rolls low during combat, but absolutely lords about when he does roll high, echoing his kingly jock past when he gets a rare kill.
It becomes a running joke, Steve only rolls high on dumb shit, never when it's important, so although he can vague his way through some encounters, he has to rely on the rest of the party (Will in particular) to heal him up again. Unlike the others, Steve doesn't have any particular attachment to his character, so he's happy to 'fuck around and find out', and risk getting killed. (He knows Eddie's already got him a new one drawn up...just in case.)
The dumb shit he gets away with cracks the kids up. Steve gets away with so much through poor ignorance and sheer ballsy plays. Everyone finds it hysterical when Steve gets a nat 20 on completely irrelevant rolls, (the worst was when he gained an NPC to adventure alongside them, causing Eddie a complete fucking headache when said NPC was fighting alone against a dozen enemies and Eddie was stuck.narrating and rolling dice against himself for fifteen minutes), but alongside all of this...there's a more horrifying realisation.
Eddie loves it too.
Sure, this particular campaign is easier than any they've done before (purposefully designed so Eddie can catalogue how his newbies play), but it's so much fun. The kids, Steve, Gareth and Jeff all find it entertaining when Eddie bangs his head against the desk in annoyance, pauses the game for a much needed smoke, when he's forced to bring yet another NPC alongside with them, or when Steve crit rolls for dumb shit like how many beers he can down at the local tavern during a short rest.
Eddie's not sure if the kids know that he's grinning like a maniac behind his DM board, or that he's hiding his face because he's laughing and not despairing, but he's sure they'll find out eventually. He keeps up the facade as long as he can though. His boyfriend, kids and his boys are having fun, so he does too.
Eddie starts only putting his foot down for really ridiculous things, enjoying the weird fucking tangents the party starts to take, and rewriting the story on the fly, not even trying to get them back on track. It's a new challenge for him, and it becomes less a game of tactics and more of a combined storytelling. And Eddie loves weaving a good story.
--------
'So...only one person can go through the portal?' Steve asks.
'Yeah, if you want someone else to try, you're gonna have to come back out first.' Eddie replies, braced for whatever fucking shenanigans he's about to try. Steve's got that face on, which means he's gonna push his luck.
'What about that bag thing, can I put someone in that and go through the portal?' He asks. 'It can hold a person, yeah? I put David Toadie the fifth in there last week.'
That immediately starts the table gossiping, and Eddie sighs, leaning back and waiting for them to all talk themselves out. The fucking bullywugs, he thinks. Steve had called them all David Toadie, because 'bullywug' was apparently too difficult.
'You could put everyone in the bag of holding.' Eddie agrees, once they've calmed down. 'But only one person can go through the portal, regardless of whether they're in the bag or not. Plus there's a time limit before they suffocate to death.'
'What if I turn the rest of us into gas?' Will chips in excitedly. Steve snaps his fingers and points at him, grinning with agreement.
'We're not people if we're gas! And we don't need to breathe!' Dustin yells, 'We can all go through!'
'They all start chanting 'IN THE BAG, IN THE BAG, IN THE BAG', while hitting the table, as they turn to Eddie, wide eyed with glee.
He groans theatrically and rubs his hands over his eyes, pressing the heels of his palms into his sockets. Jesus H Christ, these fucking kids. They weren't this disobedient before Harrington, that's for sure.
'Eighteen.' He says, begrudgingly, 'Natural eighteen or above on your D20 and you can shove all your kids in the fucking bag, Harrington. And roll where I can see it.'
Steve makes a big show of getting all the party to touch the die for luck, and rolls.
It's another fucking nineteen. His fifth of the session.
They all look from the die, up at Eddie, sitting at the head of the table. He sighs.
'I'll allow it.' He says, glumly.
The room EXPLODES with cheers. Dustin and Mike are squealing, grabbing onto Steve, and the others are hammering on the table with huge smiles on their faces. Gareth and Lucas are on their feet, twirling around like lunatics, and Eddie just sits there, utterly defeated and trying not to laugh. Steve catches his eye and winks, and Eddie just knows he's getting lucky tonight.
There's nothing but an empty room with a note, on the other side of the portal. It just needed one person to read it and memorize the runes before they came back through. It was supposed to take a minute, if that, but it's been nearly an hour because they're all terrified of what trap Eddie 'might' have set up there.
It's not defeating a dragon, or Vecna, or any other mythical, legendary monster, but already this session is easily in his top 3.
This. This is why he plays.
1K notes
·
View notes