#but like jesus does doing the nongratifying parts make me feel like garbage and like im wasting my time
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#misc#venting in the tags#my own impatience frustrates me so much honestly#like i want to do cool things like animate or write whole novels based on my original ideas or even get fanfics out for people to read#but the pace it takes in order for me to get there makes me so tempted to just give up#like i know that realistically if i wanted to animate i would need to have character charts and i would need to#have some test animation exercises in order to get the hang of the animation software and all that like theres a very logical process#but my brain doesnt want to do all that build up or go through the correct sequence of events it just wants to jump to the 'cool stuff'#and like it makes my motivation to do the things that i love so low because my brain isnt feeling the immediate gratification of#having the thing that i am making finished and ready for people to see#like i am sitting here literally just trying to finish up the amy character sheet and my brain is like 'maybe you should just give up' and#'no one cares about the character sheets or the test animation exercises'#i truly dont know how to cling onto motivation while being this impatient#i wish i wasnt impatient like this i wish i knew how to work up to big achievements instead of go for whatever is instantly gratifying#to be clear i am not giving up (yet) i am going to keep pushing through until i get to the part i really want to do#because if i dont make a soulcalibur animation then no one else will#but like jesus does doing the nongratifying parts make me feel like garbage and like im wasting my time
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