#but like. in a derogatory way. negative way. we did not like it lmao

[euclydya]

so like are the people behind garten of banban taking the games seriously anymore. genuine question

[nochi-quinn]

candela obscura chapter 1 episode 1: 🎶who you gonna call🎶

I'M HERE I'm just gonna stop playing totk on thursdays (lie)

background!!

matt!!

matt's scandalous naked wrists

oh the spotlight

oh auggie's art is good

the unintroduced characters being in shadow is nice

I need anjali in period dress forever

I'd vote for him

maybe even….president…..

ashley's face sjdflks

"I just GOT HERE"

don't keep ice atronachs in your furnace

the art camera panning around a desk instead of just the fade-in

"tol hat"

"as I expected" rude

laura noticing the light on her and perking up

murder hand MURDER HAND

voice!

art!

that is the correct response

donald :(

not the swamp gas

"who are you >:["

auggie (ashley?): mark me down as scared AND horny

robbie and laura already gossiping

"candela's recruiting fetuses now?"

void stuff

auggie is surrounded by posh weird women and is utterly unable to enjoy it

"we ain't found SHIT"

howard's kind of a bitch

she said the thing

"imagination!"

force hands

CHARLIE

"I don't think that was charcoal"

familiar (derogatory)

"well let's go home" mood

the more arlo talks the more I love her voice

"auggie's education goes far beyond book smarts" I love charlie

"did you need some help pulling that stick out of your ass?" I also love auggie

auggie is reminding of my kid when we ask her one clarifying question too many

I don't mean this in any kind of negative way, it's a totally valid frustration

"trauma bonding" sdkfjsl

calling panic attacks brain marks from now on

deeply enjoying auggie vs howard

not a chair

"we need a distraction. I'll go :D"

I love matt's Dumb Guard voice

"I'd love to help but I'm off flirting"

"I'm not very good at seeing things that are here"

"this is wood" dlkfjsl

Ghost Donald

"are you okay" auggie.

"you're so warm" that's. not great.

charlie

"it's FINE 👿"

"ROLL THEM BONES"

"I know who you are charlotte" lmao rip

fuckin leila

donald no. have you tried consent.

laura picking apart no matter what game system they're in

tiny magic messenger pigeons

Abodeless Individuals

ghost hand GHOST HAND

fable npc voice

"you're a bit older than I remember" "yeah, that's what happens"

oh bless her

mala: the circle learns about poor people

I was about to say "r.j. maccready vibes" and then I Remembered

roll for vibes

I like charlie as a bridge between the classes, as it were

"what's so funny?" "usually doctors are useful"

"rikers over it"

"sorry about the laughing at you" (lie)

howard has a death note

unecessary parkour

that one bit from arcane

can't wait for this ride at critical role land

"the children" howard

"help him, doctor!" AUGGIE

I'm a DOCTOR but not THAT kind of doctor I have a DOCTORATE but you can't HELP people with a DOCTORATE you just SIT THERE and you're USELESS

I may have seen treasure planet one too many times

this music is a+

charlie I don't know what you expected

mala: you're not his real mom

"I don't like the way you said 'great'"

oh ow

miroku

is this going to be the equivalent of trying to drive stick

"NO my sweet student"

not the final destination

fuck! all fails

vax get back in your own game

"you did it to yourself!"

mala: Matt: good rp. suffer more

"did it work?" "no! :D"

arlo and howard are A Pair of Characters

any time ashley does that half-lean shrug question thing

The Food Of Our Woes

hungry hungry ghosties

"you're bleeding out of your head"

not the chetney noises

oh shit

rip auggie

everybody keeps forgetting they can roll again

"SPOILER ALERT"

"leave it up to fate - no that's stupid"

robbie's so into this sdlkfjnls

old as balls

eddie? whomst?

"the gilded rainbow" gay as shit

"we were part of an industrial accident" swamp gas

:(

"I crashed a truck into a building! it didn't work!"

"there's a reason he's a professor" it's bc he's a bitch

"don't set it on fire"

"your club tried to kill me, not sure if want"

in a few hours the sun will rise

gay

ah the true fantasy setting - free rent

"I slathered a nice man up" hate it

acted bizzare

they got a good grade at ttrpg

oh I love arlo

of course it's doc cochran

I heard the "mmmmakinmway" in my head

[stepswowdsen]

【KHR】 Xanxus + KHR Misc Rambles 🔥🍷

Mainly KHR and Xanxus related rambles.

(Put the rest of the rambles of this under the cut)

(KHR: VARIA ARC SPOILERS)

Fandom wikis are a disaster tho cuz I remember seeing people put fucking. Nonsense fanfic theories on Xanxus' wiki page, which is just???

But I would still love to create and add wiki pages for LimGuda, JuAli, KuroEne, IdaTatsu

We work hard in niche popular ship and rare pair city!!! 💖✨

I have a thing for settling into niche popular (ie. LimGuda) and rare pair ships (ie. XanLena, JuAli, KuroEne, IdaTatsu) 💖

If only to spread the word for them 📸💥

...

Why are people putting their shitty speculations/theories into Xanxus' wiki page bruh.

This isn't even canon, just speculation.

C: OH YEAH THE WIKI IS LIKE THAT LMAO

Pretty sure somewhere in the wiki is a bit that says Shamal raised Gokudera 💀

Me: Dr. Shamal's whole concept is just so. Fuck off.

Like no Amano we did not need a (minor character) sexual harasser pervert man misogynist that constantly sexually harasses women (including underage girls 💀)

And he refuses to treat men as an adult doctor cuz he dislikes men & thinks he'll get the cooties.

Dr. Shamal /neg /derogatory 🚮

"Put in litter" emoji!!! 🚮🚮🚮

I still hate how Dr. Shamal is supposed to be the "Role model" figure for Gokudera just cuz his own ass father basically abandoned him

C: Xanxus' wiki page wtf

????

What are they smokinggg

Me: RIGHT LIKE WHO THE FUCK IS PUTTING THIS SHIT

C: How young was Xanxus when he got taken in?

5? 6?

Me: We never get an age confirmation for when he was taken in by Timoteo (Vongola 9th)

But considering how small kid Xanxus is, I'm just gonna assume anywhere from 5 - 12

C: That's way before any developmental cap

Even assuming Timoteo was such a loving father, he could have probably taught him better and raised him to be different

Me: RIGHT LMAOO

"The kindly Ninth"

Ok /neg

TIMOTEO BEING DESCRIBED AS KIND MAKES ME WANNA GAG HONESTLY

Like no. Timoteo was definitely an emotionally neglective pathetic ass "parent"

He never address his emotional needs or ever find ways to address Xanxus' emotional issues/rage

And even in KHR manga canon he never apologizes for what he did to Xanxus specifically.

(KHR: Varia Arc - Spoilers)

Varia Arc - Xanxus' Backstory

Ok I'll sum this up quickly.

Context: Basically what happens in KHR manga canon is that Xanxus was born in the slums and developed a rare flame, the Flame of Wrath, at an early age, and eventually got taken in by Timoteo (Vongola 9th).

Xanxus was made to believe that he'd be the Vongola 10th boss (and was supported by most of the family, except Timoteo ofc), and his arrogance grew as he got older from being raised on a pedestal.

Timoteo kept the secrets hidden that Xanxus could never be Vongola 10th (assumably cuz he was too distanced from the main bloodline)

Xanxus eventually finds out the secret of the Vongola inheritance and rule by breaking into/melting a locked chamber with his flame.

Enraged that he could never be the successor and at Timoteo for betraying him by keeping the information hidden from him, teen Xanxus eventually gathered the Varia members as his subordinates and started a coup d'état against Vongola 9th (an incident later referred to as the "Cradle Affair")

Xanxus got punished with a fate almost worse than death, Timoteo uses the Dying Will Zero Point Breakthrough technique that essentially freezes him in (magical) ice.

Timoteo never apologizes for (basically) freezing his son in magical ice and just, essentially leaves him there in ice prison. For 8 years.

But to the rest of the Vongola family, this truth was concealed, so it was widely believed he was kept on strict surveillance instead.

In the present KHR plot, 8 years later, Xanxus gets freed by an unknown person, and, when presented/confronted with his traumas that get dug up again, goes off the rails.

Understanding that this is the only way that he could become Vongola 10th boss, when both the Vongola 9th boss (Timoteo), and the chief external advisor (Iemitsu) approved of Tsuna as the Vongola 10th boss successor, Xanxus plots a scheme in his goal to become Vongola 10th boss.

He has Vongola 9th stuffed inside a deadly robot draining at his life force (LMFAO), then sets up the Ring Battles - a tournament style set-up where he and his Varia members will compete against Tsuna and co., to fight for the Vongola Rings, in deadly matches, in order to decide who will become the Vongola 10th boss and Vongola 10th generation guardians.

(KHR: Varia Arc - Ch. 122)

When this relevation is revealed:

Tsuna ends up splitting the robot that Timoteo is inside (unaware that he was trapped inside).

Timoteo only apologizes to Tsuna for "allowing Xanxus to escape [from the ice he was encased/trapped in]"

Timoteo then reaffirms that he chose Tsuna as the Vongola 10th successor, and not Xanxus

And never apologizes to his own son

Like WHY is THAT your priorities. Apologizing for allowing him to escape?

FUCKING HATE THIS MAN SM I CAN'T STAND HIS ASS!!!

LIKE WTF IS THIS

This chara can fuck off so hard honestly

Dawg he reminds me of Il (AkaYona) with how they're both a badly written woobified parent chara framed as sympathetic (completely undeservingly)

...

That was your own teenage son and yet you robbed him of his own agency AND the chance to steer his own life and become a better person.

He lost vital years for growing (8 years...), and it shows in the adult-like composure but teenager-like emotional immaturity that Xanxus has.

It's so needlessly heartless and cruel. As I said, this fate of getting locked away in ice (jail) to be forgotten forever, is almost worse than death.

I'm never gonna get over how fucked up it is in context that Timoteo resolved this sitaution by ice-ing his son.

Reborn's words in the KHR manga also confirm what I initially speculated as well: Timoteo misused the Dying Will Zero Point Breakthrough technique, the freezing ice technique.

It was originally created by Vongola Primo (1st generation Vongola boss) to seal away Dying Will flames.

The Cradle Affair situation could've ended with Timoteo just freezing his hands temporarily.

It's not supposed to be used to FREEZE PEOPLE...

He didn't want to deal with the problems he caused by being a shit ass neglective parent tho, so he just froze Xanxus and kept the ice locked away in chains and metal.

Someone like Reborn, who is privy to many of the Vongola family's secrets, even thought he was kept under surveillance after that (which would've been more reasonable).

KEPT OUT OF SIGHT. KEPT OUT OF MIND. FOR 8 YEARS???

...

The fact that Xanxus was so enraged (both when he was a teen during the Coup, and as an adult now) is so valid honestly.

Vongola 9th getting trapped inside a robot by Xanxus & the Varia is perfect karma lmfao

I'm glad that KHR's framing on its villains/antagonists is mostly neutral, but I really can't stand the way it treats Xanxus' harboured rage/resentment as something he was in the wrong for

Like it's so obvious that he thinks of "love and friendship" as worthless because his views are so obviously affected by his upbringing - he only knows "love" from the worthless man that betrayed him.

Added with the fact that as an assassin leader, the leader of the Varia, a mafia boss, he never would've had the need for the "Feelings first" attitude that Tsuna has. It is wholly unecessary to him.

...

In retrospect, to be "loved" genuinely, is what he (Xanxus) always needed. But he didn't get that. He certainly didn't get it from his shit ass incompetent parent.

Like it framed his harboured resentment and the fact that he was so emotionally broken and riddled with grief and trauma, as something he was in the wrong for (and frames Timoteo as sympathetic).

Which is just... (.) 💀

Magi, which has such a sympathetic and cathartic framing of its antagonist/opposing figure charas, would never do this to me!

Like I agree Xanxus went off the rails overboard (valid of him tho lmfao considering his context) but none of his actions, deserved that kind of fate.

In conclusion, Timoteo can fuck off

...

You (Timoteo) treated him, your own son, like a rabid animal fearful that they'll bite someone, and not an actual person.

He NEVER expresses regret for his actions in what he did to his own son which is so fucked up.

So I can't fucking stand his "warm grandad" side he shows to Tsuna. He never shows it to his own son.

Especially when the way Timoteo is treated in both the Varia arc and later arcs as a warmly grandfatherly figure.

Really feels like Amano's "fix-it" writing in trying to frame and woobify (redeem an asshole chara undeservingly) this series' awful parent charas as "See! He was actually good after all!"

I still don't trust the framing of Timoteo in the Simon arc. Like oh this man finally wants to take responsibility now?

For everything except how he treated his son. Lol.

Pack it up cuz none of Amano's "fix-it" writing could ever make me like this chara (Timoteo)

...

C: LMAO

There's a huge gap in how Timoteo treats Xanxus and how he treats basically everyone else

Me: Dr. Shamal is just 💀

D*E CISHET TRASH!!!

C: Lmfao valid

Me: It was just this before. Which is completely fine

Me: And then all of a sudden in 2023 someone inserted their stupid speculations into his wiki page

C: Bhbhbh fucken cursed

...

(KHR: Varia Arc - Ch. 134 Spoilers)

Also it would just make more sense if Xanxus's verbal tic/habit of saying "trash" or "scum" (カス[ども], Kasu [domo]) came from how, after being taken in, how his arrogance grew as he became older.

Since he looked down on other families and other Vongola Boss candidate successors from branch families, and saw himself as superior cuz he was basically raised on a pedestal after being taken in and was raised to believe that he'd be the 9th boss' successor

...

R: Never trust fandom wikis

C: For real

R: The shipping wiki either 😁

C: LOL

Sounds like a disaster

...

R: YEAHH ;;; shipping wikis are so biased it hurts. Why are you putting a ship that was never confirmed canon as canon 👹

Me: Oh yeah… Since it can be edited by anyone I imagine it can be a mess as well

C: Yeah it seems likely he just started saying it at some point

Ahh yeah. Yeah he really thought he was king of the world

C: Help jsngndfsd

C: It feels like it's trying very hard to make Xanxus' character's tragedy and trauma ONLY his early childhood 😭

To a lot of characters you can apply that they start to use the insults that have been directed at them, but Xanxus just… doesn't feel like that

Because yeah he's arrogant as hell, he thinks he's above everyone.

C: Exactly omg

Me: RIGHT like that's why it bothers me sm…

Xanxus' character tragedy lies in his WHOLE context (ie. His early childhood, the entire Cradle Affair situation)

It's really so insulting to me that it dismisses his character's whole tragedy (in his early childhood and teenage years) while trying to make him come off as some uwu sad boy that was hurt by other people, so now he calls them trash back. That isn't Xanxus.

Dawg if you're at least gonna put fanon speculations can you at least put good ones. LMFAO

Xanxus just doesn't feel like that kind of character. He thinks he's the king of the world, and so, looks down on everyone.

C: Yeaaaaa that's very true

It's just. It's not Xanxus man

C: Yeah

He's simply above everyone

[inukag]

Saw your tweet and I knew there was more evidence that some of the Sunrise execs genuinely didn’t favor Inuyasha LOL there was another interview where a producer kept getting asked about the character Inuyasha’s popularity in a series of questions and they kept giving non-answers or directing the focus on other characters, which is such a Japanese way to answer in the negative

AND YET the character Inuyasha still got popular. So they started mentioning how the love triangle (that they pushed and exaggerated, oh and all the anime-only crap) was the reason for the popularity 🙄

The context, for people who don't know what anon is talking about:

If the translation is accurate, this producer at Sunrise is shocked that "a guy like inuyasha (derogatory)" was voted as the #1 favorite anime male character in 2001 🥴

Joke's on Sunrise because despite their attempts at ruining Inuyasha's character he is still the most popular character of the series! Even recently in 2019 he was again voted as the #1 most popular Rumiko Takahashi character (and 200k+ people voted in that poll!).

I don't think I've read the interview you're talking about, if you remember where you read that please share! I believe you though, that totally sounds like something a Sunrise producer would do. I remember reading the interview where they said the appeal of the Inuyasha series is “the love triangle and Sesshomaru being cool”. Lmao my guy, I’ve never actually met someone who did enjoy the love triangle. In the 2019 poll all the most popular IY episodes where inukag-focused (”Return to the place we first met”, “Towards tomorrow” and “Fateful night at Togenkyo”) yet to celebrate that poll they had Inuyasha’s VA re-enact inu/kik scenes with Kikyo’s VA 💀 Read the room!!

[supercorp-hosie]

My thoughts for Legacies 315:

1) for the Star Wars, I have no knowledge about it, I saw some parallels of characters after the episode, it seems accurate, but I still have no idea why Hope’s characters in it didn’t even have a backstory or name lmao. I’m just overall unfazed;

2) the background of the trio and Alaric! There are like so much to address and I don’t know how to fully share my thoughts in-depth organisedly. I’ll try;

3) facts first: so it’s canon that Lizzie’s mental problem is diagnosed at earliest 11, but specific time unknown;

4) Jed activated his curse earliest at 11, since Lizzie had a crush on him for two weeks. I mean who would’ve thought that, common headcannons seem to incline on Josie x Jed tho😂. That just doesn’t randomly cross my mind🤣. Anyway, it doesn’t deny that Jed and Josie could be a thing too, since the twins often have the tendency to crush on the same person? I’m feeling like 60% of the time? I mean they obviously have the same preferences for LI, bad girl or bad boy type, anyone? Rafael, Sebastian, Jed, Jade, Penelope, Hope, Finch. They kind of have this thing with new people to their lives, for Josie, Rafael, Finch, Jade(it’s arguable but I think people tend to have a whole new lens when reconnecting with a disappeared person in your life for years when you’re very young. The perspectives are not the same, like you’re meeting a new person especially you don’t really know them before);

5) especially Lizzie, she definitely has a thing for new people that seems like bad boy/girl. I emphasised on the new people here bc I don’t think ethan is exactly that type, it’s just how Lizzie imagine him to be in that AU. Raf, Sebastian, Ethan....(maybe Jed was new when she crushed on him too, who knows), more specifically, it’s Strangers to Lovers trope for her romance department, so she can imagine as much as she wants and have the wildest dreams (bgm intended). Maybe Josie’s it’s not as much like this considering we don’t know how Posie happened, and with Hope her crush is canon when she was 12, but we don’t know how long exactly the crush was and when did it started, I just have to count that not being new person into her life. But I do get that why Josie said Lizzie always get the boy/girl Josie crushed on too, mostly they have the same type and preferences. Though they can randomly blurt out characters that we all don’t even know as more solid examples.;

6) Alaric and the fact of him being quite an absent father since the twins were 11 is solid canon. I understand the need to care for Hope because the world can’t afford a tribrid went uncared for and went around killing people, but still, the different perspectives of Hope and Lizzie to Alaric are very sad. To think that your father would betray you for another child, is very sad, even for Lizzie, the more dramatic one. So I understand that Caroline wasn’t there for the twins either, another absent parent. About the mother figure being diminished here, I’ll address it in another point. What’s left for Lizzie? Josie.

7) So basically Josie had to handle herself and Lizzie’s all by her own? That’s very hard! My BFF is bipolar, we are not living together, but before, my whole situation [for being in love with her + her situation] had really been hard for me too. I couldn’t imagine what’s it’s really like for Josie. (Another point that I need to address is the real mental problem that Lizzie has) Sure Alaric might not always be absent, but the intensity of Lizzie’s perspective begs to differ. Josie had to understand what is Bipolar at a very young age; had to be there for Lizzie when she had her outburst; had to be the one constantly check on Lizzie whether she had taken her meds; had to digest the emotion impacts from Lizzie after the outburst; had to understand how Lizzie functioned when she was down. None of that are easy, and there’s no one there to ask of what Josie really feels. How Josie pent out? What does she need? Josie might feel the need to be not wanting things and always be good so that she can get the love from Alaric (I remember in season 1, Josie felt the need to lose the game to get on Alaric good side) . So she just started to suppress her voice and her needs, because Lizzie need them the most. Over time or years of suppressing in front of her dearest family, she most likely felt unneeded by her parents, and forgettable to her parents(the girl that’s so quiet that her parents forget about her, the girl that Penelope won’t fight for anymore). She needed to feel needed, so she just let Lizzie take all of her, from whom she felt needed the most. So all of these from Josie’s perspectives, it started a vicious cycle for the twins. And leads to how the twins dynamics and how Josie are in present days. But her problem was never solved, they just accumulated day by day, year by year, leaving the good and dark side from Josie being so separated and unbalanced. The inner turmoil is always there. These lead to the extreme polarity of Josie’s good and bad side. When she’s doing bad, Josie would be especially aggressive than she needed to be because that’s an instinct to compensate the lack of action before. After long suppression, once being released, the instinct would be stronger than usual and harder to get it under control. Under the influence of dark magic, Dark Josie felt like another personality inside Josie here to take over the whole Josie and protect their interests that true Josie are neglecting. Kind of like dissociative identity disorder but not really it?? It’s just an understanding that I’ve been wanting to express, but so hard to organise it, because it’s so complex. By this understanding, I do still think that Josie should still be held accountable for her actions, even when dark magic was influencing her, like even people with mental health illness should be instituted and lost their freedom. I just think that it’s not fair to think she’s straight up very evil and do nothing good for people. It’s not like she’s being dark for no reason at all. This just mean that the dog that doesn’t bark can be more harmful than people think. These doesn’t mean that when Josie goes dark, she doesn’t deserve any leniency at all while holding her accountable. (And it’s not like she’s not beating herself up for most of the things she had done) Oh and sure, Josie should do the healthy way of voicing out these needs and all, to encourage a healthy dynamics between them like she’s the only healthy one between them, but still the problem is, they both lack the environment and guidance to make a healthy working relationship between themselves. How could they know what is healthy when the environment was already lack thereof.

8) Reading Lizzie’s diaries is bad, I understand, because you literally need to understand what leads to what, to gain control when your life is a chaos, but still. It’s even worse when you have that need to confide in another person to get things out wrongly. (I was having a phone call during the diary sharing review, but this is what I vaguely get) a) Josie is confiding the contents very specifically to another person that Hope can somehow reconstruct a sequel to it? b) Josie chose the wrong place to confide it since when she gets emotional, people can probably hear what was shared. At least from what I guess I got, it isn’t stated that she spread it to the whole school nor it was spread to the whole, even if that’s the case, it may not be on purpose, and she chose the wrong person to confide in. Like about the reveal in 112, she made up that Hope talking bad about Lizzie to the whole school, but it doesn’t mean that she spread it nor the whole school actually knows. Another case is, even if the school knows, it could easily be known by any passerby to Lizzie outburst and spread in the school. From what we saw from 101, the kitchen is a public space, the utensils and cutleries breaking should be very alarming, and there are students with intensified senses in the school. By that fact itself, it doesn’t really help Lizzie in being discreet of her illness. Still, sharing your sister’s diaries after reading it is really bad. But I do get that, sometimes you really need to talk to someone that know some of the situation but don’t really know the person in question to recalibrate yourself. But that person have to be like the dead end of all school gossip but not close to Lizzie, so it can do no harm (because he/she/they literally have no use to talk to someone with all these, usually there’s this no name policy, but with Lizzie being her sister, it’s useless hiding, maybe) when you disclose something related to her pertaining your own issues. Josie should apologise for sharing Lizzie diaries, even if Hope was not meant to know that, despite her werewolf hearing. For the reading part, did we get the apology tho? I guess we had? If negative, apologies needed.;

9) From Lizzie perspective, we can see her does Josie wrong but didn’t apologise either. Like Lizzie being princess but Josie being her android, personalised valet? It just showed that during that period of time(specifically from when until when tho, that’s a question), after what Josie had been enduring, taking care of her, Lizzie thought of herself being princess but didn’t actually think Josie as her equal? Like how the Android was programmed to bow to Lizzie? That’s just the habit of the twins dynamic showing, also partly Josie mistake, but Josie does deserves to be perceived as more than that, even when she’s derogatory to herself, Lizzie should uphold that for her. Their dynamics is just sad because it’s not entirely the twins fault, it’s also due to the absent parents in the household, they didn’t know better, they can only depend on each other. They’re orphaned like Hope in a way when their parents are still present. Even though they have privileges as Alaric’s daughters, but that doesn’t help with their real situation. This is just a perfect example of how your family shaped you, but we can still fight to shape ourselves after the power that our parents have over us gradually diminished, like how they’re starting to shape themselves more now as they’re coming to age.

10) What really warms me from the Android situation, despite Josie feeling like she’s being degraded the whole time, a subject to Lizzie, is that from how Josie is the combination of two Androids, also shows that how Lizzie actually looked up to Josie. Maybe it’s not addressed, but I see that. For Lizzie, Josie can really do so much things for her, take care of her so closely that Lizzie can count Josie as her personal valet. Derogatory, yes, but that place is also very important to prince and princess, bc they can literally do nothing to take care of their daily lives themselves well, like Merlin for Arthur (I mean the actions, not the presumably romantic relationship). Without Merlin, Arthur life is a mess! And the knowledge for Android part, it means that in Lizzie’s mind, Josie actually is like the person who knows everything😂 usually that figure should be our parents😭, but for Lizzie, it’s Josie, like she knows the answer to all. It’s sad and warming at the same time. Just more appreciation will do! And the fact that the special sword that they’re finding the whole time was in Josie’s thigh, just show how the trust that Lizzie had in Josie, not even their parents can triumph it, because Josie was the one being there the whole time. So they really deserves each other despite all the shitty things they have done to each other.

11) about Lizzie mental illness, I was recommended a post informing people about how Legacies fucked up Lizzie’s illness. After my own research, I do agree with the OP, I think that Lizzie situation is more like borderline personality disorder rather than bipolar, but that doesn’t make the whole situation easy. I can provide the table I made the next time regarding that.

12) Hope being Lizzie’s villain is really fitting, lmao, the intensity of Alaric care for Hope is so much that even Lizzie thought that Alaric would betray the twins for Hope.

13) I like Hope’s look. Josie being the Android that malfunction sometimes is funny too, especially when Josie is angry the whole time, cuz it’s infuriating too🤣🤣

14) Hope and Josie during Lethan kiss is me. How they’re totally in the same team when Lizzie being like that? Hosie are both wary of their characters and backstory? Hosie rights. Hhhhhh, oh Hope might be jealous of Ethan😂 Hizzie rights.

15) Another Hizzie rights, Hope wrote a sequel to Lizzie fanfic. And..... is Hope officially a nerd too???? I can’t! Hhhhh but maybe not, or else Hope would have known who she was.

16) Lizzie says, maybe deep down I still feel that you’re the chosen one (IN HER OWN STORY)

17) Younger Hope kind of break my heart more. It’s so sad😭😭 how she’s in denial of their parents death, and blame it on herself.....no baby. How Hope just have to tell herself all that again. And about Hope being scavenger, I think it’s fitting too. Her life, like the twins, is in pieces too. She had to pick them up herself, and build a world where her heart and hope can rest safely, and that just make her not mad at Josie burning down her room gayer. She was so closed up to herself that her room is like another world for her. So forgiving Josie just because of her crush, is like Josie and her crush on Hope meant the world to her???? Hosie rights! Anyway, Josie still messed up with that.

18) Having Younger Hope saying those things to Josie, oh my heart! Josie is a protector for Hope! Hosie rights! And Hope knowing the truth to stop Lord Marshall! Malivore, and Josie just stop talking because she doesn’t want to encourage Hope to die😍😍 Younger Hope actually wants to be best friends with the twins!!!!

19) Hope literally just stop growing taller after 12/13 like I did, is fact! And I’m comforted by that, sorry not sorry, lmao!

20) For real I don’t understand why Hope is suddenly full tribrid at the end. When she fights with Malivore.

21) The gun fight and sword fight is so weird! It’s like the gunners don’t know how to shoot at all, like they’re in slow motion, difficultly level easy to the audience, it’s so fake. I’m for Hope being badass, but it seems like the show doesn’t know how to portray a good fight scene. The sword fight is like in slow motion. And if Hope is to combine magic with sword fighting, she should combine them more. I don’t feel she’s badass at all, cuz it’s literally level easy😑

22) Star Wars AU have brought up so many childhood unresolved for the trio to understand each other more and be a better team. I love them ended up being all supportive and the panda promise🤣🤣 I love that the twins just agree not to let Hope die like that. But they’re like promise that a little later than Cleo and Landon? My team Sowanby! Applause to Handon, but please don’t be together again! Strike three, no is no!

23) for MG, Jed, Kaleb, they really need to make up with each other, I’m glad that they finally made it. And Kaleb being jealous of Methan? Lmao! And MG didn’t even say Ethan name? I love Maleb bonding, and MG never left his man behind!! Another things is, what’s wrong with those boys fighting scenes? We saw them throwing valuables to distract the monster again?! What if the keys are damaged? How are you going to go home? Oh and Jed being useful!

24) Jed last name is Tien, 田/填 in Chinese, I’ve shared enough in my other post. But still WE DONT ACTUALLY HAVE JED FIRST NAME! Give us that!

25) Still, I don’t understand how the wendigo is not dead yet. And how come it’s defeated by fire this time??

26) I don’t quite actually know what’s happening with Dorian. Is he okay? I bet he is, so Emma is coming back, right? Based off what the conversation is? We need Emma, really.

27) regarding Emma, is the lack of mother figure that I want to address when stating the twins dynamic. I don’t actually know a lot from TVD or TO, I just happen to know some general things and snippets from edits. But I know Hayley’s words before she dies, like “I’m not going to teach my daughter it’s okay to let people she loves die” and paint art, have at least one epic love? But for real, in legacies, all I get for Hayley is 103, Josie paying her respects, but none other than that. It’s all Klaus. I believe that Hayley is an important figure to Hope too. But she’s not mentioned enough, it’s kind of erasing her impact on Hope?? Like Caroline too, we get her phone calls, the twins trip to Europe to treat their problems off-screen, the letter for Lizzie in 302, the recommendation for Lizzie to go to the witch retreat, but not vetted by Alaric.....yes she get all these and Jo Laughlin being there in 106 (I cried so hard). But still the mother figure is still being minimised. Like in Lizzie’s fanfic there’s never a place for Caroline? How surreal? It doesn’t make sense. (I understand the actress is just not returning). But still these doesn’t change the fact that the show is lacking a mother figure as a whole. Emma should be that.

28) Clarke!!! Like it’s predictable! But what’s unpredictable is that he went straight to shower🤣🤣🤣 I love his snarkiness! Clarke meeting Hope half naked! Holarke! Hhhhhh

I’m too tired, sharing this episodes thoughts is exhausting me. There must be something I left out, please feel free to remind me!

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #333

“imaginary chain  /  the one you never break  /  seething all alone”

Do you have any fears you would rarely admit to anyone? Nah, I'm pretty open about what I'm afraid of. What website do you spend most of your time on? YouTube. What class in high school did you struggle with the most? I honestly don't remember with certainty, but it was probably math or economics. At least, I think econ was my senior year. What could you talk about for hours? Mark, meerkats, a few game franchises... maybe a couple more topics. Who is your favorite character from Harry Potter? I wouldn't know. Do you salt your popcorn? Yes. Do you have a Steam account? Yeah, but I don't have many games on there and rarely touch the ones I do. Do you like gaming? I do, but not as much as I did for most of my life. I mostly just play WoW now, and even that I'm not that into anymore. Part of it though comes from not buying any new games that I'm interested in because 1.) no money and 2.) no proper console, and you can only replay games so many times before you're just... yeah, done. Do you like reading books? Some days. Do you like religion? All things considered? No. Do you like Grand Theft Auto V? Y'know, growing up, I actually liked watching my younger neighbor play one of those games, but I don't remember which. Though he never actually "played" it... just ran around wreaking havoc, lol. I do however think GTAV was the one that Jason and Jacob started playing together when we moved into the apartment, and I thought the story was okay; I don't think they ever got far into it, though. Definitely wasn't Jason's sort of game, and I don't think it was too much up Jacob's alley, either. Can you twerk? I haven't tried and you will never see me try either, lmao. Do you have a Spotify account? Yes, but I almost never use it. If the last person you kissed tried to kiss you again, would you start kissing them back? Yes. If your best friend of the opposite sex tried to kiss you, would you start kissing them back? No. Have you ever kissed someone who has previously kissed someone you hated? Yes, because of how badly she hurt him. I don't have any negative feelings towards her now, though. We're actually friends, haha. The irony. Are you an easy lay? What weird wording. But whatever, quite the polar opposite actually. When’s the last time you said you were sorry? A few days ago. Are there any songs you listen to everyday? No. Would you like living on the coast? As someone who lives in a state hit by hurricanes usually every year and has seen the incredible damage they usually bring to the coast, no. I don't like the smell or gritty feel of salty air, either. When’s the last time you were really late to something? No idea. That's usually not a problem with me. Why did you stop liking the last person you liked? The last person I actually stopped like-liking would be Girt, and that would be because I just came to the realization I saw him too much as my brother instead of boyfriend. It just always felt awkward. Do you still talk to that person? Yeah, we're good. No hard feelings or anything between us. Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth? No. Do you trust easily? Fuck no. I'll be cautious, at least to some degree, about new people for a while. What is the last song to make you cry? Since I've actually behaved and not listened to any trigger songs, it's been a long while, but it was probably "Another Life" by Motionless In White. Last person you hung up on? I'm sure some automated message. I barely ever answer the phone to numbers I don't recognize, though. Where was your last car ride to and from? To Wal-Mart w/ Mom to pick up our order and then back home. Next big outing? *shrug* Do you find it difficult to stay invested in online relationships? Not really, no. Considering I'm by far my most authentic self online, I actually tend to appreciate virtual friends more, if I'm being honest. I try to keep up with those people. Are you the type of person who pays close attention to the release dates of movies, music, etc., and will, for example, go see a movie or buy an album on the date it is released? If so, when is the last time you did so? Not really, no. I think I saw Warcraft the day it came into theaters, though. Do movies often make you cry? What kind of films/scenes make you tear up most? Yep. Tragic romance tends to do it the most, I think. Do you use any apps to track your health or medications? I have one to track my menstrual cycle as well as another that tracks my daily caloric intake, but I'm bad at using it because it's tedious if I actually have to measure something. Whose opinions/recommendations do you value most? Ummm if you mean like, in general, probably my mom's. But this most certainly depends on the subject I'm taking feedback on. What is something society "expects" you to do that you don't want to do and/or don't plan on doing? Shaving my legs came to mind first. Granted, I will if there is almost any chance of someone seeing them, but otherwise, I just don't care. We respect women with body hair on this account and see them as no less feminine. Are you interested in architecture? Is there any particular style that you're drawn to? I think it's cool, yeah. I should have an answer for this, given architecture was a massive focus in Art History the last time I was in school... Roman architecture comes to my head first, if that says anything. What was one of your favorite things from the nineties? BOY OH BOY, SO MUCH!! I'm probably gonna say the toys. There was some dope shit, man. Do you collect things pertaining to an animal? ANYTHING and EVERYTHING featuring a meerkat!!!!! :''') Do you wish that people were kinder to spiders? Well, yes. I hope everyone in their heart wishes this, even if they're afraid of them. They're very important to our ecosystem, and none are out there to harm us; their existence does us a favor. Where do you normally order pizza from? Domino's (my favorite) or LIttle Caesar's for the price. Did your parents keep anything of yours from when you were a baby? Oh yes, loads of stuff that's stored away somewhere. Do you own one of those "____ For Dummies" books? No, but I feel like we had one at some point? What was the last VHS tape that you watched? Yikes, who knows. Did you watch Boy Meets World back in the day? I actually didn't, no. Our old neighbor though loved it so much that she named her daughter Tapanga (deliberately spelled that way). Who is your favorite Scooby Doo character? I never really had one. Maybe Thelma. If I were to give you a coloring book, what would you want its theme to be? Animals. Have you ever won a stuffed animal at a carnival? Possibly a small one. I can tell you I did however accidentally stab the guy who ran the dart-throwing booth though, lmfao. He was obviously fine, and it wasn't a bad wound. I felt SOOOOOO bad. Are you a fan of narwhals? I'm a fan of any animal. Narwhals are definitely fascinating creatures. Grape or orange soda? Orange. Grape-flavored soda ain't my thing. Have you ever wanted to vlog? Noooo. My life is so painstakingly boring and repetitive. Did you have a favorite Disney movie as a child? It was and still is The Lion King. Do you or have you ever owned a portable gaming console? Yeah, a GameBoy Advance and Nintendo DS. Is shyness cute? It definitely can be. Have you ever had alcohol poisoning before? No. Do you like to gossip, or do you prefer to keep your mouth shut? I'm not a gossip fan. Have you ever vandalized someone else’s property before? Most definitely not. Are your parents divorced? Yes. Have you ever been under suicide watch for 72 hours in a psychiatric ward? Yes; at least here, that's protocol when you're admitted for suicidal thoughts/tendencies. Have you ever gone through your significant other’s phone or social media accounts, or do you respect their privacy? Absolutely not. That shit pisses me off so badly. Do you wear any sort of clothing for religious reasons? No. What's something you worked extremely hard to get? My sanity back. Sounds so dramatic, but I'm literally not kidding. Have you ever been labeled negatively or otherwise been called something extremely derogatory? Not that I remember. How many kids do you want to have? I don't want kids, but to entertain the question, when I did, I wanted three. It's fuckin wild to imagine for even a second that I once wanted that. Do you believe that being gay is a sin? *eye roll* Are you any good at photography? If so, what’s your specialty? I mean it with modesty, but I think I'm pretty good. My favorite thing to photograph are animals, but I generally take most pictures of people by request or pay. Judging by my deviantART account, my nature pics definitely get the most attention. Have you ever been a member of a gang before? Fuckin yikes, no. An infamous gang tried breaking into my childhood home once, so you can probably gather that I would never take part in their "big bad guys" bullshit. Have you ever felt like you were neither male nor female? No, I'm comfortable as a cisgender female. Do you like oatmeal raisin cookies? NO. Anything with raisins = NO. Do you think you’re attractive? No. Has a teacher ever caught and read a note you were passing in class? No, not that I really passed notes to begin with. I'd be mortified, regardless of what it was about. Would you rather live in a tropical or arctic climate? Arctic. Do you have an older brother? Yes. He's technically my half-brother, but I don't see "half"s. Have either of your parents ever been to jail? No. Are your collarbones prominent? Bitch I wish so I could get the damn dermal piercings I've wanted for years. Have you ever in your life worn overalls? As a kid, yeah. So ugly. Do you love yourself? It's... weird. Therapy is making me realize that a part of me, maybe even the bigger one, doesn't, but at the exact same time, I know I have worth just like every other human. I just don't treat myself like I do. What TV shows do you keep up with? None, until Meerkat Manor returns this summer. :') When’s the last time it snowed where you live? A couple months ago we got a little bit of it. Is your belly button pierced? No, but it would be if I was actually skinny. Just in my personal opinion, I don't at all think that that piercing would look nice on someone as overweight as me. Even if my damn dreams come true and I lose all the weight I want, my stomach will never look "normal," even after I get the excess skin removal surgery that will be very high on my priority list for my own self-image that's been nothing but loathsome since 2016. What is your favourite dinosaur? Spinosaurus is the obvious answer. What do you remember the most about your childhood? Lots of imagination. Parents arguing. Playing with my little sister. What age did you get your first hair cut? I have no idea. Do you have a favourite toy from childhood still? No. I wish I hadn't gotten rid of it. Have you ever made bread? No. Would you ever consider shaving your head? Nah. Would you like to live in a realm where the zombie apocalypse is possible? Who says we don't now? Zombifying parasites already exist among insects and such, so like... it's not unimaginable to one day see one developed enough to infect humans. I sure as fuck hope not, but. What do you use to dry your clothes? (Tumble dryer, radiator, etc) We have a dryer. Do you ever play the built-in games on your computer? Which ones? Nah. What was the last spontaneous thing you did? I did this many, many months ago, but I guess watch an episode of The Witcher by my own volition. I don't really do spontaneous things with how routine I am, but I had a random urge to check it out one morning. How loud can you whistle? Not very loud at all. Does anything on your body hurt or itch right now? My knees really hurt. They're getting worse. When was the last time you built a sandcastle? There's noooo telling, it's been many years. Have you ever ridden a mechanical bull? No. Well, not a *real* one, anyway. Just the little ones for kids. If you had to appear on a game show, which one would you choose? Family Feud. What is your favorite hot beverage? Hot chocolate. Do you have an alter ego? Describe them: No. Food: Are you adventurous or do you stick to what you know? I absolutely stick to what I know. I am SO picky. Is there anything (out of the obvious) that makes you feel really ill? I'm not immediately sure, but there's probably something. Do you bump into things often? Yes. I've always had this weird habit of like... drifting when I walk, so I do this easily. I just kinda wander to the sides a bit without realizing it. What design is on your calendar this year? I don't have a current one. Did you enjoy playing Hop Scotch when you were younger? I did. Do you feel uncomfortable going to the movies by yourself? Nah, not really. I did that with Warcraft and it was actually pretty chill. When thinking about your dream home, what do you think would be your favorite thing to shop for? The ~g o t h i c~ decor. Do you ever listen to those lo-fi hip hop/study music playlists on YouTube/Spotify? No. Are you likelier to work harder if you’re being paid? If not, what drives you to give your best effort? I mean, yeah. I'd assume that's pretty normal. Does the fashion sense of a potential partner matter to you? No. Is there anything that you prefer to write down rather than type? I'm unsure. If you download/torrent things, do you remember the first thing you ever torrented? Oh, the Limewire days of music pirating... but no, I don't remember. What was the last thing you posted on Instagram? Something photography-related, but I don't feel like checking. What do you wish your hair looked like? I wish I could pull off pastel pink hair rn. It also desperately needs a trim. Do you still feel anything for the first person you fell in love with? I'm sure I always will, at least a little. Do you get any magazines in the mail? No. Have you ever paid for any kind of online membership? Uhhhhh have I? I don't think so. Who’d you last see in a tux? Probably the groom of the last wedding I shot. Do you record any TV shows and watch them later? No, but I used to do that big time because I loved "rewatching" stuff when I was on the computer. Out of everyone you know, who was the most heart? My mother, big time. Who’s the bravest person you know? Also my mother. Or Sara. What profession do you admire the most? Teachers might just win. The patience that must take, among so many other things. Have you ever made a fake profile, for any reason? No.

[overbearingstruggles]

original misogyny call-out anon here again: not specifically even just yesterday or even just on this blog, but some of the negative stuff i’ve seen about lisa is calling her like “horse girl” in a derogatory manner or saying she has no personality other than being rich and looking pretty. even if you think those things are true, they’re really just... not cool to say. and are borderline misogynistic, because what do we even truly know about her to make those claims? because i think a general rule for identifying barely disguised misogyny is knowing that it’s something you would never think to say about a man. and i’m not saying this to defend her in the slightest, it’s just like. people have valid reasons to criticize her, so they should stick to those. attacking her for dumb shit does nothing and perpetuates normalized misogyny. plus lisa obviously having internalized misogyny doesn’t make it right for someone else to act the same way?? like lmao two wrongs don’t make a right or whatever, and if it’s an issue we ever want to get past and eliminate we can’t keep acting that way under the guise of “well she did it too!!” anyways, much love to you. i appreciate your blog, and haven’t seen you personally say any of the stuff i’m talking about here. if anything, i think you called it out by saying we need to drag alex for that shit too lmao.

💝 This is fair and I appreciate the full explaination. If we're all kinda focused on just this spot with no mention of outside comments we're assuming it's directed at comments here.

I def want us all to keep in mind that in order for Lisex to work in their disfunctional way it means Alex is more like Lisa than we really know and that goes both ways. Lisa may not talk about politics but I'd bet she agrees with Alex when he goes off. Alex may not post every boughie moment of a vacation but that doesn't mean he isn't spending that money and acting lavish just because it's not in our faces. We can critique how they present themselves to us and speculate but in all fairness they have a ton in common!

[pewdipliersepticpie]

Part 4: The word around the world

I got a lot of people adding to the convo with how they refer to black people in their culture and how the n word is perceived where they live so this is about that.

Secondly: The rest of the world

The bad, the nope, and the yikes

@thehylianpotmurderer  

yikes??? It's absolutely not totally fine in the netherlands to say the dutch equivalent to the n word. It's frowned upon here what the hell?

@majin-bb 

HAHAHAHA WOW TATTA'S MAN. nee dat woord in het nederlands is ook niet oke. wat je "vriendjes" ook zeggen van je. het is niet oke. “WE DONT HAVE ANOTHER WORD FOR POC" je bent nog dommer dan het achtereinde van een varken 😂

translation

No, that word in Dutch is also not okay, whatever your friends say, it’s not okay. You’re dumber than the ass of a pig.

(aangezien ge “dommer dan het achtereind van een varken” zei, en  niet “achterlijker dan tgat van en varken” ga ik ervanuit da ge van NL zijt en nie Vlaanderen)

So these two are both from the Netherlands and they aren’t the only ones who came to ask “what the actual fuck bruh?”. As I mentioned before, the Dutch and the Flemish indeed have a different way to go about these things.

@pfannkuch3n 

The N word is still a bad word. Everyone learns about it in school. Even here in Germany we are smart enough to know that. What makes it even worse: He corrects himself and says “What a fucking asshole.”He associated the n-word with something negative.

Everyone learns about it in school I didn’t, at all... I’m glad Germany’s educational system provided you with that information but you must be aware that not every school is gonna teach about “bad words”. 

About the other part, I don’t think it was a correction, more of an addition, but yeah he did very much use it as an insult, dick move.

@genagui  

The n word is just as offensive in Spanish & in the Mexican culture... what kind of fuckery is this post ...

The not-so-nope

@cupcake669  

This is sooo true. For example if you come to hungary most of the teenagers will say 'nigga' to each other all the time. Why? You might say because they are all racist. But nahh,that's just what they hear in musics,vines and shit like that,so they'll use it. We have a candy called Negro too,and funnily it doesn't have to do anything with racism,but I can imagine how a lot of people could misunderstand it.

SAME ^ (hear me out) I’ve seen a lot of people saying it’s not an excuse because everyone has the internet or whatever, but people learn English by context, very few people learn English with textbooks. The vast majority starts learning it through songs and movies and series, and later on the internet.

But we don’t browse the internet for English lessons, we just end up on sites we find entertaining that happen to be in English. When you’re young and use the internet in the beginning, most of it is gonna be sites where jokes are made, or funny videos are posted. And by reading those jokes you find new words you never heard before.

When you see a new word you don’t always go look it up, you barely ever look it up, 90% of the time you can kind of get an idea of what it means by the context, and the more often you see that word in different contexts, the better you understand the meaning of the word.

If it’s said in a convo you might ask the other “what does that mean?”, in that case the other isn’t gonna say “oh that’s a derogatory term towards people with a dark skincolour, who originate from Africa”. They’re just gonna say “that’s a black person”.

And even if you do look it up, you’ll get “a contemptuous term for a black or dark-skinned person.” which does indicate that it’s a “bad word” but “fuck” is also a “bad word”, so how is a non-native English teenager magically supposed to know that the n word is a completely different level of “bad word”?

Many people learn the word waaayyyy before they learn the true weight of it.

@angry-dark-babe  

In my country it literally means black person so ye your argument is partially true. Though if you use it as a bad way of saying someone is black then it's not ok

@sock0nhead  

I’m from norway and people genuinely don’t know that it’s controversial. Like even the really nice and innocent students from my school have said it before

@katnissindespair  

In the Netherlands we have a word to name poc people, the official name in my country is negroes, which I find really weird to say. I would never say the n-word in an offensive manner.

@sorikym  

The filipino equivalent of n*gger is negro and it literally means someone dark skinned like thats it. thats its meaning. so yes the word isn't universally bad. but then a again most if not all people are brown in the philippines thats why no one here is really offended??

@andyetanotherone  

I kind of agree. I'm latina and where I live the oh so awful n-word isn't nearly as bad as it seems to be in the US. My friends use the word with their black friends and none of them take offense because they know it's not meant in a derogatory way. 

@startlememe-trash  

THIS^^^^^ in South America we all call each other by races and we don’t give a shit, lmao I was called negra my whole life and I never gave a crap. 

@yueis  

in spanish, sometimes "mi negro/a" is used as a term of endearment towards black hispanics. regardless, it is not the same as the n word

@twosideman  

Negro for Argentinians can be a nickname for anyone with a darker skin colour or expression to refer to anyone .

@lastqueenofmars 

nigger/nigga has rough translations in other countries.

@immortan-stark  

Dude, in Spanish we say "negro" to refer to the colour black and black skinned people. You can also say "mi negro" and it's affectionated. It's not offensive. When I learned English and moved to England I understood that, in English speaking nations the word is a slur. Everyone, even this youtube guy, who has some knowledge of English knows this is not acceptable, regardless your nationality/mother tongue. It's a matter of respect.

Yup, agreed.

@supermodelindisguise 

OP is right though. The intensity of the offense varies. Its still a word that shouldn’t be used, and still holds offense.

The funny one

@eyesonxiu 

Uhmmmm actually nigger isn't a derogatory racial slur here in my country :)))) it means friendship and that's the word we usually use to symbolize friendship so just because nigger is a slur for you doesn't mean it's one for me :)))))))) who cares if the word itself is racist and dehumanizing :))))??? 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

lmao, good one

Part 5 will finally be about Felix, all of the previous was completely beside his last fuckup and was merely a general convo about the different variations of the n word and their meanings and nuance.

Part 0 | Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

[galaxy-of-hair]

I was wondering if you could explain being a christian witch, the whole mixing of those ideologies is kind of weird to me and I don't understand.

i guess first i’d like to apologize that i took so long to answer your question; at first i didnt see it cause my mom was in town and i was off tumblr, and then when i finally did i wanted to take my time meditating on how to answer it. 

second i’d like to clarify that anything i say on this subject is only applicable to me and my practice and my beliefs, and my intention is not to speak for or over anyone. one of the wonderful things about being a witch, Christian or otherwise, is that it is a very personal, personalized path, and everyone has their own unique journey and set of beliefs and i would never presume to speak about anyone else’s deal. that is not and will never be my place. when i look to find my way in my practice and study, i can (and do) absolutely learn from other humans, but ultimately i am led by the Word and the Holy Spirit when it comes to choosing what i will or won’t integrate into my practice. God is my ultimate authority, not people (no offense to people lmao)

third, i’d like to say that i am severely ADHD and currently not on medication, so if i don’t explain things well or jump around from topic to topic or meander in a way that makes this difficult to follow i apologize in advance, i’m doing my best lol

fourth i’d like to say thank you for your question, you were very respectful in your wording and i appreciate that, i’m always open to questions, even though i may not be the best at answering them, and if you have any follow up questions after reading this novel i’m about to write, feel free to message me or send me another ask or comment or whatever

my answer is under the cut cause it’s heckin long

((tl;dr - i’m not mixing ideologies and there’s a lot of other blogs that can answer your question better and probs more precisely sorry lol)) 

this hard for me because if i give any kind of detailed answer, i will by necessity have to discuss at length my Christianity, and that’s a very personal thing that i’m still trying to be more open about. when i say, “my Christianity” i mean that the way i practice Christianity (my belief system and my relationship w God) differs greatly from what people generally assume to know or understand about Christianity. what i mean to say is: when you say, “i’m Christian” people immediately assume all kinds of things about what you believe, based on their own personal experience with practitioners of the religion, and as there are numerous denominations, those assumptions can vary greatly and are almost always wrong. the reason i have a hard time being open about it is that i have been trying to talk with people about it my whole life, both with believers and non-believers and it’s almost always been a negative experience, so it can be hard for me to open up with regards to that.

so i guess the short answer is that witchcraft isn’t really an ideology. neither is it a religion. it’s a practice. it’s a way in which i exercise my God-given power. and that’s really the key for me, because even if i might do something like say, make a protection sachet, smoke cleanse my home, perform a binding spell, etc (which are the types of things that a secular witch might do or a wiccan or a pagan), when i perform them, i draw my power from God and the Word and the knowledge of the promises he made to me in the Covenant.

a lot of my beliefs are geared towards using Faith based power to alter things in both the spiritual and the physical. i’ve found in some of my most frustrating conversations about this topic that most people don’t have the same vocabulary definition of Faith as i do, so here’s some stuff about that to clarify what i mean.

here’s what Merriam-Webster says about faith:

Definition of faith 

1a :  allegiance to duty or a person :  loyalty lost faith in the company's presidentb (1) :  fidelity to one's promises (2) :  sincerity of intentions acted in good faith

2a (1) :  belief and trust in and loyalty to God (2) :  belief in the traditional doctrines of a religionb (1) :  firm belief in something for which there is no proof clinging to the faith that her missing son would one day return (2) :  complete trust

3:  something that is believed especially with strong conviction; especially :  a system of religious beliefs the Protestant faith

and i think that’s people generally think about when they hear people use the word “Faith.” they think of it as just a synonym for religion or belief in God, or as a blind belief in something for which there is no proof, i.e. “blind faith” or “just hanging on till Jesus comes” or clinging desperately to something unrealistic in a delusional manner. obviously some of these are more derogatory than others, but i’ve spoken to all sorts on this subject and come across all of these misunderstandings of the word “Faith” at one point or another. the cool thing about the Bible is that it will often offer its own definitions to the words used within. 

one of my favorite verses on the subject of what Faith is, is Hebrews 11:1. when this verse comes to mind i often think of the NKJV translation, “Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”[x] 

here is the same verse in The Amplified:

Hebrews 11:1

Now faith is the assurance (title deed, confirmation) of things hoped for (divinely guaranteed), and the evidence of things not seen [the conviction of their reality—faith comprehends as fact what cannot be experienced by the physical senses].

so there’s a lot to unpack here. firstly, Faith is substantive. it isn’t the superficial placation of a worried mind or shallow platitudes void of meaning used to make oneself appear enlightened and righteous in the eyes of their earthly peers. it’s not shouting ineffectually into the void. it’s practical and effective. it’s power to change reality, not only in the spiritual but in the physical.

the stuff about “title deed, confirmation” and “divinely guaranteed” is in reference to the things promised to us by God in the Abrahamic Covenant, of which Jesus’s blood sacrifice was a fulfillment. i am included in this Covenant by virtue of the Blood of Jesus, even though i am not Jewish, i am included because i accept His sacrifice as a placeholder for me and have entered into Covenant with Him.

so Faith is the confirmation of things divinely guaranteed by the Covenant, the comprehension as fact things that cannot be experienced by the physical senses. Faith isn’t belief without evidence, it is the evidence. my belief of a thing (as long as it is in line with the Word and the Covenant) is enough to bring it into being. this is really cool when you start learning stuff about quantum physics (like i have the most basic of understandings on that subject, but the little i know about it is very exciting, the idea that science is finally starting to confirm what i’ve known to be true all along, check out the documentary, What the Bleep Do We Know) and how simply observing a thing can change the entire behavior or nature of the thing. so like, something promised to me by God in the Covenant both is realized and isn’t realized depending on whether or nor i observe it. once i observe it by having the knowledge of it, the understanding of it, and finally the belief in it, it comes to pass, or manifests into existence. there’s also scientific evidence that you can speak Life or Death into a thing. anyways i’m digressing.

my point is, if i were in a doctor’s office and i told them i believe i have the power to change my physical reality through words and belief, they might jot down that i have “Magical Thinking” and like, i guess being a witch i wouldn’t argue with them. it is essentially magic. when i had the rare pleasure of having a pleasant conversation with someone about my beliefs, it was almost always with a non-believer, and the best way i could think of to get them to understand is, “it looks a lot like witchcraft.” when i finally decided to start calling myself a Christian witch i was basically making the decision to stop fighting the direction that the Holy Spirit was obviously counseling me towards. i always felt lead to do things like smoke cleansing and other “magical” practices, but i was afraid that i’d be doing something wrong or unnecessary. here’s the thing: God has not given us a spirit of fear so i try to be critical of any decision made based in fear. since i started down this path in earnest i have experienced great joy and fulfillment, and better results in areas where i had previously struggled (more on this bit later). 

my attitude when talking to God is one of familiarity and assertiveness. He’s my Dad and my friend and my teacher, and we have a Blood Covenant. i talk to Him casually, and when i need to claim one of the benefits of my Covenant, i.e. healing/health, protection, a sound mind, i call it done and thank him for the result that i believe will manifest. when i go to exercise my Dominion over the physical, i.e. a bee in my space, the toilet threatening to overflow, a symptom of sickness, a person threatening me, i speak to it with the authority of someone who knows they have a Covenant with God and God-given Dominion over this world, and i use Jesus’s name. when He tells me to do something, i try to be obedient.

the reason i’ve been getting better results since i started using physical tools more often isn’t necessarily because i believe that there is inherent power in the use of them. sometimes i’ve done things in the physical because i felt lead to by the Holy Spirit, and i endeavor to be obedient even if i don’t understand the reason. there is power in obedience. 

sometimes i’ve done things in the physical because not everything set in motion in the spiritual world by Faith has instantaneous results (some things do, somethings don’t), some things take time. i struggle with memory problems and sometimes i’ll honestly forget that i already dealt with such and such issue and i’ll pray over the situation again and again, having no recollection of having done it and i feel as though this hurts my efficacy. it makes me feel disorganized in my practice. if i do a working or a ritual in the physical (like a binding or a protection sachet) to deal with the issue, i will be more likely to remember that it is done and dealt with, and every time i remember it going forward, instead of feeling the need to pray again, i will instead reaffirm my original working, strengthening it instead of weakening it.

sometimes i do things in the physical because we know about health benefits available from certain herbs, foods, oils, and even crystals. some people will say things like, “that’s relying on something other than God for healing” and they say the same thing about knowledge gleaned from the stars and planets, but like, HELLO, God made all that stuff. i don’t worship His creation, but i do celebrate it, and i am thankful for it, and i believe there is power to be found in it. some of that power we know about (i.e. medicinal herbs, essential oils) and some we either don’t know about or can’t conclusively prove with science yet.

that leads me to the other reason i do things in the physical to mirror my workings in the spiritual. there are certain practices and traditions that have been used for centuries in magic that don’t have any known, scientifically proven reason for being effective. but people keep using them, and they keep being effective. i know part of that is that belief is a powerful thing. we are beings made in God’s image. we are powerful creators, and if people believe a thing with enough conviction, it can come to pass. however, it could be that there are some very real effects that a physical substance could have in the spiritual realm. anything that alters the mind for instance (like mugwort being helpful in astral projection). my own personal example is this: i use commanding oil made from a base of licorice root and calamus root and mineral oil. i do this because it seems to be the agreed upon recipe for commanding oil and has a long tradition. i use it when assigning tasks to Angels. do i absolutely HAVE to do this? no probably not, but it helps me with making my marching orders official, like giving an assignment to troops with an official signature or seal.

basically it all comes down to this: Faith is like a muscle. you have to work on strengthening it. at least i do. so if these things help me out in the areas i have trouble with so i can “lift more weight,” i’m gonna utilize them. especially if i feel led to by the Holy Spirit. anytime i feel that i vibe with a witchcraft working, and want to add it to my practice, i look at it critically, i think about what the Word says, i ask the Holy Spirit, i think about why it might be helpful, and if it passes all my scrutiny, i go for it. if you still have trouble reconciling the ideas of Christianity and witchcraft coexisting, i’d recommend popping on over to the #christian witch tag, as there are a lot of good posts on that by people that are way more qualified than i am. 

i’m able to be a Christian witch the same way i’m able to be a Christian transgender pansexual man. not everything espoused by mainstream Christianity has a basis in the Word. it’s sad but a lot of the time people choose to parrot their pastors or follow tradition and modern, localized cultural norms instead of looking to see what the Bible actually says.

i hope i answered this question ok, and didn’t go off topic too much. if you (or anyone else reading this) have any questions i haven’t addressed, or maybe have new questions that arose from reading this post, feel free to ask. thanks again for your question and your respectful tone.

[diaryofanangryasianguy]

It wasn't a negative stereotype in this situation though, so it's NBD. I understand where there can be anger, but Anon didn't mean it in a derogatory way, so I'm not going to fight them on it. Seems like a genuine question. If they did mean it in a derogatory way though, we gonna have to wup'sum'assh. ;DD

Lmao you are too kind. If someone said that to me, I would whoop their ass lololol. But I do appreciate your detailed post though because I’m half Hmong myself and am also mixed with Mien (Yao). :D

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #167

“everything he sees is just blue like him, inside and outside.”

Did the house you grew up in have a big yard? It was fairly decent. Have you ever worked over 50 hours in one week? No. What has been the most difficult class you’ve ever taken? Latin. Do you think teenagers should focus more on their education rather than on relationships? Well, yeah. I mean that as in you should pursue knowledge more than love, but it can of course happen and should be taken seriously. What’s your opinion on couples ‘staying together for the kids?’ Awful idea. Your children don't need to grow up on the sidelines of a dead relationship. It can give them such negative expectations. Did any of the classes you took in high school count towards uni credit? No. Do you think being born was a mistake? No. Have you ever been arrested? No. Has a relative ever been arrested? Don't believe so. Do you think the Fountain of Youth exists? No. How about in a parallel dimension? Maybe, idk. Do you believe humans are part of a giant alien experiment? Not necessarily aliens, but I'm *open* to the possibility that we're just a simulation of a future civilization to learn how their ancestors lived, like we're literally Sims. I lean towards that being false, but. There's astonishing evidence for the possibility we're not "real," though regardless, I stand by the "I think, therefore I am" quote, so I really don't care either way. Do you think your blood is sacred? Uh... no? Have you ever been suicidal? Yeah. Was it a passing phase or is it something controlled by medication? It was something corrected with the help of medication, LOTS of therapy, and a closure conversation with Jason. Do you hold any holiday special in your heart? Halloween and Christmas, particularly. Is there a holiday you wish no one celebrated? Which is it? Why do you feel that way? Eh, I don't feel like flipping through the list of holidays right now. What’s your favorite book? Why is that? Johnny Got His Gun by Dalton Trumbo because it is a masterpiece of the needlessness for war, as well as The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton, though by this point I don't even recall most of the story... I just know I adored it. Who is your all-time favorite author? Don't have one. What do you like about them? N/A Who’s your favorite poet? Poe, of course. What’s your all-time favorite band? How about all-time fave singer? I have too many favorite bands. Singers, Freddie Mercury and Brendon Urie. Do you think most mythological creatures exist? No. Have you ever had lice? No. What brand of dish soap do you use? Uhhhh idk, I don't wanna go look lol. Do any of your neighbors have dogs? Idk. Growing up, did you listen to country music? Yup, believe it or not. Have you ever dated someone on the football team? No. Do you like tomatoes? I'm not a fan. I can enjoy fresh ones in a small amount in a sandwich/burger, but that's it. What’s your favorite brand of bottled water? Essentia. Do you have any ceramic animals in your house or outside? No. What brand of makeup do you wear? I don’t wear a specific brand. What type of waffles do you like? (Plain, blueberry etc..) Plain or chocolate chip, depending on mood. Do you brush your tongue? Holy shit brush your tongue, dude. What kind of laugh do you have? It's loud and obnoxious as hell. What kind of cell phone do you have? (ex. flip, slider, or traditional.) Touch screen. Have you ever gotten searched by the cops? No. Have you ever been enrolled in private school? No. Do you know how to grill a steak? No. Would you ever use an online dating service? No, was on one v briefly and it was. Very much not my thing. I felt like I was hunting for a relationship when I'm way more for it just finding you. Do you like Gushers? YES. Do you have a large dog? No, Teddy and Bentley are both medium-sized. If not, are you afraid of them? Not at all. I love big dogs. What is more annoying: A sore throat or a headache? Headaches. Have you ever sent an X-Rated picture to someone? No. Have you ever gone out of state for a concert? No. When is the last time you went on a date? March. ;____; Do your parents know that/if you smoke? I don't. What is your favorite board game from your childhood? I hated shopping, so I haven't a clue how it was Mall Madness lmao. I also loved that carnival Cranium game, whatever it was. Have you ever gotten rid of something you shouldn’t have and then really regretted it later? Yeah, senior prom pics. There were some where I actually looked pretty fuck Do you beat yourself up when you make mistakes? Usually. Have you ever tried anything off the Starbucks secret menu? No. Do you have string lights in your bedroom? No, but I'd like them. What is your favorite flavor of tea? Tea is disgusting. Do you have an inspiration board? I have a Pinterest board of hair colors and styles I like. What is your favorite magnet on your fridge? Never paid attention to the ones we have. Do you like to sit in the grass? No. Are there popsicles in your freezer right now? Yeah, we got 'em for when I got my tongue pierced. Is there a lamp in your bedroom? No. Would you prefer eating jello or pudding? Pudding. After washing your hair, do you put any products in it? No. Have you ever crawled through a vent? No. Last time you rode a bike? Years ago. What is something you used to always do but don’t anymore? Uhhhh. Idk. Well actually, I used to always have soda like multiple times a day, but now I go some days without touching it. What is the last thing you broke and how did you break it? Idr. What is the best thing you have received when trick or treating? Reese's, ha ha. What is the worst thing you have received when trick or treating? I hate(d) tootsie rolls. What word do you hate the absolute most? Probably "the 'n' word" or the derogatory term for gays... idk. How many seasons is your favorite TV show in so far? Eight for That '70s Show, but both FMAs don't have seasons. Do you remember getting sung to when you were little? No. Have you ever felt a temperature below 0? No. When was the last time you had blood drawn? Couple days back for more tests. What color eyes does/did your father have? Brown. What do you daydream most about? The future. What names do you like? Alessandra, Damien, Josephine, Luther, Chloe, Evelyn, Evangeline, Vincent, Victor... At what age do you want to start working or at what age did you start? My first job was when I was about 19, I think. Where’s the best place to eat a romantic dinner? Olive Garden omlllllll. Who was the last person to piss you off? I don't know about pissed. Probably Mom. Has anyone ever told you that they loved you, and you didn’t say it back? Yeah. What’s your favorite hairstyle on the opposite sex? I like scene/emo hair too much fuck Has anyone ever played a prank on you? What happened? Probably. Which parent are you more similar to? Idk. I'm a pretty even mix of them both. Do you have a lot of self-discipline? Eh, depends. Have you ever been to another country’s capital city? No. What are some of your favorite qualities for another person to have? Compassion, kindness, an open mind, considerate, creative, difficult to anger, understanding... What smell reminds you of your childhood? Chlorine, gingerbread, rain in the air... Have you ever dated someone who had a child from a previous relationship? No, and I wouldn't. When was the last time you spoke to the first person you ever kissed?  Second week of February '17. What’s a political issue you have a strong opinion on? Gay rights. Stopping that "oh if (s)he was raped ten years ago, why come out now?" bullshit that's been popular lately. What was the last fruit or vegetable you chopped/sliced up? Romaine lettuce for Kaiju. When you take a nap, do you nap in bed or on the couch? My bed. Have you ever done a Mason jar craft? No, but most of those that I see are so cute. What are you going to be for Halloween this year? Idk if I'm even dressing up. Do you decorate your front door for holidays? Mom puts up a wreath. What are all the costumes you remember wearing for past Halloweens? I literally remember none. Who is your favorite photographer? Check out mothmeister on Instagram. Cool as fuck. Don't know who takes the pictures exactly, but. Jovana Rikalo/thefirebomb on deviantART is also incredible. Were you shy in high school? Not very. Do you wish karma were real, or are you glad that it isn’t? I wish it was. What was your favorite Nick Jr. show? Rugrats. What school subjects are/were you the best at? English and science. What comes naturally to you? Spelling, usually. Bonding with animals. Do you prefer to call life a journey, a battle, a dance, or an adventure? Journey. Do you believe in the power of dreamcatchers or do you just like them as a decoration? They're just pretty decor to me. Who are the cutest babies in your Facebook newsfeed? I have two friends with young babies and neither are cute tbh. One's face looks like a grown man's with elephant ears, while the girl is just like, a month old, and I almost never find babies that young cute. What were your favorite mall stores when you were in high school? HotTopic. What time of day do you normally feel the most awake and alert? A while after I wake up. Have you ever searched for your house on Google Earth? Yeah. How old do you look? I guess my age? Do you like movie nights? Only if it's with someone. What would be number one on your bucket list? Pet a wild (well, habituated) meerkat. How old do you think you’ll be when you make your will? *shrugs* where is the fanciest place you have ever visited? Idk. Do you wear earrings on a normal basis? Ugh, I wish. Two reasons I don't. 1.) My first holes are stretched badly from wearing heavy earrings to much. Put one in the left especially and it almost looks like it's not even attached to my ear. Looks gross. 2.) I'm allergic to silver and like all my earrings are silver. Are your ears pierced more than once, if at all? Yeah. If you wear skirts, are you more likely to wear leggings, or go bare? If I was to wear them, I'd probably wear leggings. Ever stayed up all night on the phone? Jason and I did that (or almost did?) once early in our relationship. If you could move somewhere else, would you? Uh yeah. The one and only reason I won't move too far is because I'm unwilling to leave my psychiatrist; he's one of the biggest reasons I recovered and also gives me free samples of the medicine that saved my damn life, which costs over $1,000. No exaggeration. He knows that's absolutely outrageous. So it's like if I moved somewhere else, would my new psychiatrist do the same? Did the last guy/girl you kissed have any piercings? No. Do you actually love your parents? Yes. Have you ever had a school picture turn out absolutely dreadful? Like, all of them. I look high when I smile. What is the name of the last band you discovered? That I actually got into, Powerwolf. What happened last time you got drunk? Never been drunk, but on the occasion I got the closest, I was more outgoing and giggly. Do you know anyone autistic? I don't believe so. How about someone bipolar? Me. What do you want your job to be when you’re older? A photographer and also an out-on-the-field zoologist. I could bring my camera out with me, combine the two. Have you ever made your parents cry? Mom on sadly multiple occasions, and I could hear that Dad was tearing up when I called him wanting to make up. Do you always lock your door? Not my room door, but the front and back door pretty much always are. If I'm home alone, without a doubt. Have you ever been to Hooters? No. Do you snore in your sleep? No. Do you have a brother? What’s his name? A half-brother, Robert/Bobby. Do you believe in celebrating anniversaries? Year ones, yes. Have you ever driven without a license? I don't have mine yet, but I don't believe I've ever done so without my permit. What was your very first pet like? I'm pretty sure my first personal one was a long-haired guinea pig named Squeak. He was a total sweetie that loved attention and would do one of those high-pitched, four squeaks back at me if I did it lol. What kind of an old person do you think you’ll become? I hope I become a wise, more loving than ever, content person that does all she can for humanity and doesn't isolate like I do so much. I want to be out there with people, making memories and always maintaining a young heart. Which well-known person’s death shocked you the most, if any? Steve Irwin's above anyone else, but Chester Bennington was a close second. What’s the craziest color you’d dye your hair? I seriously want to bleach my hair to snow white and have it fade to a blood-red tip, but that'd probably destroy my hair. What’s the coolest hobby one of your friends has? Hm. I'm not sure. What’s the silliest thing you’ve believed, that turned out to be untrue? LOOK I stg I learned in school that thunder was clouds rubbing against each other and I only learned the truth THIS YEAR. Have you ever pet a cow, a sheep or a pig? A pig. Who’s the last person to make you laugh? GameGrumps. Ever been in a race? No. Favorite brand of color pencils? Crayola, I'm a basic bitch. Do you like the smell of peppermint? Omgggggggg yes. How many pieces did the last puzzle you completed have? Idr, maybe 150? It was at the hospital with my peers. In the end we were missing exactly o n e piece. What is missing from your wardrobe that you need to buy? I want a studded leather jacket pls I've wanted one since high school. When was the last time you witnessed a sunshower? A month back, maybe? Maybe sooner? Who was the last person to kiss your cheek? Mom, I believe. What temperature do you consider “too cold” to be outside? Comfortably, 40 F. Did anything bad happen to you in September? My knees became quite a problem. Had some rough streaks of depression. In your phone’s contacts, who is the first person listed under the letter ‘R’? When did you last see that person? No one under "r." If someone is sticking their nose into your business where it isn’t wanted, how would you deal with that? Would you say something to them? I'd like to think I'd say something. When your last relationship ended, how long was it before you felt ready to think about being with someone else? I realized I wanted to be with Sara while I was with him. It was one of the reasons I broke up with him. Think about your Facebook profile photo. What kind of assumptions do you think a stranger might make about you, from seeing that photograph? Would any of these assumptions be correct? (It's the same picture as here.) I obviously like a darker style, and it'd also be an understandable assumption I'm a bitch by my expression lmao. That one's not true, I hope. If you aren’t an only child, do you wish you were? Noooo. What is your birth order? I'm the middle child between my immediate siblings. What is your eye color? What would you want it to be? Blue/green/gray. I wish they were more sapphire. Do you like Victoria’s Secret, or PINK? I like their bras and undies, super cute, but other products, nah. What color highlighter do you prefer? Pink. What is the wallpaper on your best friends cell phone? Dunno. Do you like using big words when you talk? Don't hate it, but I avoid it when I can with most people. I wanna make sure they understand what I'm saying, no need to make it all fancy. What’s your favorite thing to do in the summer? Stay the fuck inside and wish it was fall. Eh, swimming. Do you like being tickled? NO. Are you loud when you’re having sex? I'd always try to be quiet even when home alone because I was worried about someone coming home and us not hearing or something. But it took effort to keep quiet sometimes, and even then I was a moaner. Are you a very open or private person? Depends on who I'm with and whether it's on or offline, but generally, private. What is your favorite Christmas movie? Jim Carrey's How the Grinch Stole Christmas. What do you get complimented on the most? My hair. When was the last time you were in a public setting and a stranger annoyed you? I'm not sure. Scariest storm you’ve ever had in your town? Um idk. Skill you wish you had? Drawing exactly what I see in my head ugh. How do you feel about raising minimum wage? FUCK-ING DO IT. NC's is $7.25 an hour, and you can't live off that shit. Humor me. What physical ideal do you imagine in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner? It really doesn't matter to me, but I'd say I'm more quickly attracted to people with a dark style. What type of personality traits do you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner? Calm, open-minded, friendly, I like a bit more outgoing than me, compassionate, very passionate like myself, artistic, considerate... Any other essential quirks/interests/other you look for in a boyfriend/girlfriend/partner? The only thing I can think of as essential are some common interests to bond over. I don't think I could date someone totally different from me. Or someone heavily religious. Any romantic gestures you really like? Small, simple efforts just for the purpose of showing you care, more than anything. I appreciate the cliche of opening doors. What were you like when you were a kid? Outgoing, talkative as hell, pretty odd, big time creative. What is your definition of cheating? Flirting in a clearly non-joking manner. Have you ever been to a psychiatrist/therapist? Both since the 6th grade. Are looks important in a relationship? For me personally, no, but I don't shame people who feel it's at least a smaller factor for them. Sure, it'd be more difficult to be more sexually attracted to you, but not romantically, which is what I care about. What were you doing right before you started this survey? Another survey. I combine them into longer ones. Ever get mad at something that happened years ago? Rarely, and if ever, briefly. What do you order on your pizza? Jalapenos. I miss meat lovers. What the kind of soda you drink most often? Mountain Dew Voltage. Do you freak out if a bee/wasp flies near you? Wasp, I'm fuckin' outie. I'm uncomfortable with any bee, but won't spaz over most. If Facebook started making you pay, would you still use it? No. If you were dying and had to tell the last person you texted one thing, what would it be? Lmao we actually had a convo about this once, and it'd totally be, "I love you, and I'll see you on the other side." If you could have sex to one song, what song would it be? We playin' "Death of a Bachelor" by P!atD on our wedding night 100% 100% 100% 100%. Are you a forgiving person? Too forgiving. Who is the last person you told you loved them? Sara Jaaaane. <3 Do you have a specific gas station you usually go to? Or do you stop wherever? Mom tends to go to Sheetz or Shell. She gets bad mileage at Sheetz, but it's super close to our house. Do you have a place you go to a lot that you may be considered “a regular” at? The people at New Addiction (tat and piercing parlor I go to) are starting to recognize me lmao. I'll be there tonight again. Think of the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a bed? Yeah. Do you like your girlfriend's/boyfriend's parents? YEAH. Why aren’t you with the person you first fell in love with? He couldn't stand my depression anymore. What’s worse, knowing you still love them, or pretending you hate them? THE FORMER. Do you own any television series box sets? All seasons of Meerkat Manor. What is your favorite band of all time? Ozzy Osbourne. Would you consider getting a tattoo any time soon? I'm getting one T O N I G H T  B O Y S. Do you like candles? Yeah, but I prefer incense. Have you ever been diagnosed with a mental illness? More like seven lmao. And I'm 99% sure I have ADD, but I haven't been officially diagnosed. If you had to choose to have a different accent than the one you have now, what accent would you choose and why? British, 'cuz I love it. Have you ever or do you currently live in a Gated Community? No. Do you know how to use a DSLR camera? Yeah. Do you know anyone who is named after a state? Jason's mom. Miss that woman, she sincerely cared for me. I owe her so much for staying on the phone with me for legit like two hours a couple nights before my attempt. It was dead in the middle of the night, yet she was happy to be there. Have you ever had a “bad trip”? If yes, what happened? N/A. Do you enjoy learning about conspiracy theories? Y E S. Shane Dawson got me so into them omg. If you had a baby boy, what would you name him? Damien Alexander, maybe.