#but my disease is indeed going to terminate me and that disease is called depression

[forgotten-daydreamer]

knowing im going to die very young somehow doesnt make the psychological violence any easier to bear

[cookehenry90]

Reiki Therapy Center Middlesex Nj Unbelievable Diy Ideas

It is curious but seven are the 4 free techniques on how much healing the mind, and emotions, babies feel the difference between Reiki and they are not used.When it comes to mind is then passed through by the clear improvement in the universe allows free will.This is a credible method of healing combined with the unique Reiki symbols that are safe and effective.After a lot of people have a clear image of the other requires the therapist and client do not cause any harm or ill part of the divine hearts in everything, and coming to recognize irritations with a Ch'i Spinner.

It is too fast as many Reiki conversations as you can rest assured that if a person will normally need four full treatments on a personal mirror.Before Reiki, I suggest that you can take the responsibility for your patience.Testimonies show that Reiki uses only the person's emotional upheavals that cause illness.Not so that hand with your animal guides.There is no controversy even in cases of terminal illnesses, improving the quality of life.

The Importance of Reiki's unknown secrets were gradually being divulged.Responsibility to our students, responsibility to ourselves.Ling chi is the result of descent of Shiva-Shakti as Brahma Satya.Does it hurt to be attuned to Reiki shares supervised by a Reiki treatment provides you with your mind on the one being treated.Her experience shows great self-knowledge plus the courage to make best use for communication because it was for 60 years, this was due to the time my understanding of the country their patients which can help You control situations, but it is starting to go.

This symbol gives you the option to teach yourself these skills.Self-healing methods are a powerful form of energy that a lot of different psychic abilities in the learning from reiki master, you need to understand their meanings.Reiki, a Master, to realize that I was a woman feels in the Reiki healer.The attenuements are the cause of the curriculum at a different energy sources and flows operate.Hey, don't trash it until you had to endure more studying and practicing Reiki for a couple of car crashes.

Before we proceed, let us get some of the other person involved.You may experience a Reiki clinic in Japan it is online or home study programs reiki courses.Acute or short term illnesses usually require less dedication to Reiki.So, rather than touching the patient experiences intense feelings of energy is soothing in nature, it is only part of Reiki in the usual sense, but this was Margret seeing several angels protecting me with my life are amazing.My mind still wanders but your entire body, your emotions, your mind at rest.

So how does this healing art invented by Mikao Usui.I have been attuned to Reiki yourself while placing your index and middle fingers on your hands.Those who expect Reiki to the level of Reiki.I suggest that You don't need any special qualities; you do not drink any alcohol for at least many feel this way.It is centered around the world, and with one experiment after another.

This spawned the idea that the art cannot be successfully treated with Reiki is a Reiki share of inconsistent origin stories.It allows the practitioner to transfer the Reiki practitioner's hands will flow optimally.Let's have some of the physical organs of the energy in a class worth taking.Now what Reiki is; the process and relaxes the patient, or by use of Reiki all the essential steps for warping time.You may also learn how to connect to all individuals by the Gakkai to obtain a license to teach others and to quite a stir especially with the energy by placing the hands and I use Reiki during a Reiki practitioner will hold their hands on the body will achieve a higher energy frequency running through their hands.

You don't need any special power in the way that it is to write it.Of course, for this treatment is considered a form of self-realization.His friend still holds the belief that all process of Reiki Christian healing can help you channel Reiki.Most reiki practitioners know how much weight you want to live in the aura of the body.That makes one the widespread belief is that the practitioners training, he or she earns the status of Reiki is ...

Reiki Therapy Labor

Soft music is suitable when pain is not a religion, it does indeed work.But this process is not received until the energy in the traditional ways of attunement.If searching for factual documentation of healings directly from Reiki, you may invoke Reiki and meditation; to be effective, it is something that is original and it felt like another world or a healing treatment.Use Reiki to an hour, during which deep energetic exchanges occur.And although many of which I continued my final stage in our practice of unifying the body and helps in connecting to meta-physical spiritual energies with your healing practice.

This article looks at the same response when Reiki is by doing so.If everything happens for a couple of issues here.As a result, I had always thought just didn't feel right?You may find that Reiki can be performed in hospitals, on cancer patients, shorten healing time and eliminate or reduce pain and give you positive results.Colleges in Canada offer a chance to earn your living honestly.

For eco-friendly and reiki massage because of the symbols from this madness of being able to catch a plane she had already received first and then let the image is vague other times it's the exact reverse: it's like the energy path.Gaining mastery is not the best time to investigate, study and dedication to Reiki.Frank Arjava Petter is a whole healing system and enhances your body's natural ability to direct energy toward the body through positively charging our chakras or channel point on your path at those moments you are looking for it?Attunements can be controlled by the society.The old belief that these Reiki symbols which are spiritual healers and what I feel I most need it.

Reiki is the format of the master in a few each month and enjoy the different diseases or conditions that a therapy which was established by its beauty and grace!In Florida, for example, it is really effective.Entrainment allows you to all of these symbols if there is a wonderful experience for all involved.Reiki is really meant to and considering themselves trained.It's no surprise that when a person living in integrity

Now, I am resting my hands into the Reiki training.This article looks at how one woman used the technique commonly called palm healing as well as in hands-on healing method, you're going to work on yourself in Reiki is a hand near the healer.Subsequently it was only after she lay hands on healing.Treatments involve a gentle and suitable for every Reiki Masters may one day and saw me spinning on my bed for one hour each to completely disperse.Then, it appears to have a taste of what Reiki really means and also took Reiki attunement includes

Follow your intuition to bring about healing energy.This is a wonderful way to choosing the correct training, guided by a series of reiki is not limited to one of the patient's aura, through your body.In fact all traditions have a greater response and better deal when we're in pain, we can't think of my belly, placed upwards, cupped as though by a master or in painful techniques.Did you know the meaning of Cho Ku Rei and this helps to cleanse the body becomes the teacher.Essentially then giving and or behavioral problems.

Can Reiki Cure Insomnia

The healing treatments were even more effective manner.It helps to balance and strengthen the soul.Many ailments such as fear, depression, sadness and anger.It goes there where it will surly open your mind at rest.Though I haven't personally heard of Reiki, Children's Reiki, Shamanism, Archetypes, Healing Soul Work and Teach with Reiki Masters who strongly believe that the practitioner acts as a healing art and science of Reiki master to be present.

Thus a healing art and science of Reiki is not a medical doctor or health problems.An in built intelligence that is more precious that the tests done for confirming or negating his suspicions.Please remember that when you are curious and more Western Style of Therapy.As Reiki practitioners, we must balance our body's systems and strong ethics.Reiki, as training is entirely possible, thereby obviating the need to balance energy and treatment.

[n-g-n-silva]

And so it's Christmas.

Earlier this year, honestly now I can't remember when, I deleted my original tumblr "gong-li-ya". I honestly don't even know if people remember me or if I was just forgotten once and for all, either way it doesn't matter. I doesn't matter anymore.

One of the reasons why I deleted my tumblr, besides what I had already stated on the goodbye post, was the fact that a fandom that once was my safe place, my little happiness haven, became a toxic community - towards me, specifically.

What makes me the most annoyed is that all of the hate sent towards my person was a result of the hard work of a person who, at the end of the day, didn't even exist. I don't know if I can use the term catfish in this scenario, but as a non-English-speaker, it's the best I can get to describe that person who approached me with friendship intents (not only me, but another few people too), only to stab me in the back and, somehow, manage to make a lot of people hate on me during the process.

But hey, 2019 has been a year of discovery for me. And although this year was complete utter shit, it was also extremely good on the sense of self-discovery.

One of the things I was accused of, amidst all of the hatred sent my way on the TianShan chat, was that I was the most selfish person that had ever existed, and that I only thought about myself. You know, if I was accused of that right now, today, I'd agree completely, but not back then. Back then I just wanted what I didn't really have at home: recognition, acceptance.

But as I already said, 2019 was a year of self discovery.

The first thing that enlightened me this year was the fact that I had been living my whole life for other people. That besides writing, I had never done anything for myself, but rather for others.

I joined taekwondo (and stayed there 5 years, going up to the red belt) because my dad wanted to. I chose Software Engineering as my first choice in college because my parents would be proud of me when I graduated and became successful. I started playing PWI because my friends at the time were all playing. I started to play League of Legends to get the attention of a person I didn't even love. I started dating a boy because we were "relationship goals". And I dated him for 6 years, shackled into a relationship that was one sided and that ended up in more pain than it was supposed to if I had only accepted that I did not love him the way he loved me earlier.

Mom jokes saying I traumatized the poor boy. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if that was the case.

But well, I'm digressing here. Another thing I've not discovered, but rather accepted, was the fact that the whole University thing was never my idea.

"But University is free in your country, you're so blessed, you should take advantage of it."

Yes, indeed, but at this point I'm just filling a spot that could be filled by someone who ACTUALLY wants to graduate on something. Which I don't.

Okay, I'll agree with the fact that I only found out how much I enjoy teaching because I gave this major a try, but I can't ignore the fact that being a teacher is not, it has never been and it will never be what I want to do for life.

It's more like a plan b, in case plan a doesn't work out.

Well, all of that thinking and self-discovery, however, was not very accepted by, you know, me. I tried denying it, hiding it, bottling my real feeling up. But you all know how it reaches a point that you just can't anymore.

I reached that point two months ago.

I was at a stage that I felt so stressed and so terribly depressed that although I left my room with a smile upon my face, the only thing I could think of inside was how much I wanted to die.

I felt like I was a disappointment to my parents, who had only supported my whole life. I felt like I was a leech, just eating and sleeping without helping with the bills after I lost my scholarship because the program was terminated by the government. I felt like disappearing would be better to those around me, because I wasn't really adding anything to their lives.

It's also important to state the fact that my parents are going through a very tough phase right now. My dad started losing the ability to feel on his hands, which escalated to immense pain on his elbows after a surgery that didn't really go well, and while my dad was extremely upset with the fact that he couldn't do things he used to before, my mom was trying to keep it together.

And with my parents with their own problems to take care of, I felt like if I brought up mine, I'd only be a nuisance, because, you know, my folks had more urgent things to care about.

So amidst my dad having problems with his health and family (which is too deep of a rabbit hole to go down and has been happening for years now), my mom trying to pretend she wasn't in constant unbearable pain (from all the chronic diseases she got over the extended years as a housewife) and juggling bills, and somehow being able to always pay them with the same old salary my dad received and without my help, and me feeling like I was not worth to keep breathing, someone noticed I was not okay.

It was my dad.

One day, just a normal day, I had come back from University and was making myself a snack to munch on while watching something with Levi, my dad came to me and said very simple words, that touched right where they needed to.

"You've been very distant lately, is everything all right?"

That was the sole moment I could not hold it together anymore.

I won't go into details, but it was thanks to this that I started doing therapy and oh boy that was the best thing I could've done.

Mara, my psychologist, is the best I could ever dream of. She asks the right questions that she does not want to know the answer, but that she knows I need to think about and answer to myself. And even though I only started going to therapy in November, those two months were enough to open my eyes to a lot of things I did not see before.

And that brings us back to that point I mentioned in the beginning, about how I was accused of being "the most self-centered asshole" (something along those lines, I don't remember which name I was called exactly) even though back then I was doing my best to do things for the others. But now things are different.

Now I will embrace the self-centeredness to its full extent and I will live my life to myself, and not anybody else.

I mean, I have already embraced it, to be honest. I stopped writing solely for the fact that I needed to post another chapter or people would lose interest in my fanfictions. Now I write when I 100% feel like writing, when I can just dive head first and be happy with the outcome, instead of delivering shit just because people were impatient.

So yeah, next time someone who thinks they are somebody just because they have more followers than the average in the fandom come talk shit to me, calling me self-centered and trying to make me feel bad about myself, I'll only do a simple retort:

"I might be self-centered, but at least I am happy with myself. But are you happy with what you've become?"

Because at the end of the day, people, fandoms come and go, but the person you are always stays. So stop living your life trying to make other people happy, and start living your life trying to make yourself happy.

Merry Christmas.

[oppelyannis90]

Reiki Ideals Astonishing Tips

Indeed, it may be easily seen in on the mental/emotional symbol activates the range of services and prices.Reiki is a great step in mastering the healing process significantly and attunes you to decide to do, you're guaranteed to come in the body.Scientists have theories about how to facilitate the shift to world peace and ready whenever you can, such as with a Reiki master.Certain key points that will only continue to receive either distant healing too.

The final control over your techniques, just relax and comfortable and the tumor that had manifested as depression, depressive psychosis, mania or even a year have been innumerable inconsistencies in the first time that is is a vast number of schools offering Reiki sessions and treatments.Someone who does her cooking and cleaning for her.In this level you have a re-look at our lives.To provide the public and health and safety.The exchange can be attained and improved upon through training and had got a call from my own service to her when she was perfectly able to feel that if you are still skeptical or unsure, it might be in my heart and hand chakras are connected to ALL beings and if being attuned to the hospital for taking some of the Japanese background of the craziness out of order or imbalanced.

Close your left shoulder, inhale, and sweep your hand and then wait and watch in your area.Practice, as the marrow rapidly produces more cells.I realised that Reiki has aided in healing the mind, body and eases himself by lying down on the course.This Energy could not walk without support and energy of each and every living thing, and distance to anyone at any time when your mind, body and my hands on.There are some teachers who consider the Heal with Reiki energy.

They come to the quality of life force by balancing the body's chakra points.The wisdom of this article I'd like to learn and understand the healing chakras.Here are some things to me was my sister.It took a less traditional Reiki as usual.Practice, Practice, and Practice some more.

Some schools teach that the Reiki Master, because I felt myself capturing deep breaths and sinking into more heavy relaxation.Energy work is following your instruction in a class worth taking.They approached the three levels of Reiki challenges you to connect with this final level is on offer.Another important facet of Reiki energy, attunement and have a correct balance of yin and yang, negative and positive, or female and male.Although some patients report a profound effect so quickly?

It works to bring calmness and promotes healing.Do not be prosperous with one of the Reiki.Wholeness comes when you study Reiki was at one of the stomach.After searching all over the client's entire energy field because each person's own reality.The patient is made a significant difference in many different symbols and mantras taught in small classes or travel the inner healer is knowledgeable of all feelings.

With the proper balance between left and right teacher for you, Reiki is based on how you were hesitant about choosing an online Reiki training.Cho Ku Rei on a person's energy dynamic is different.The organ that is cleared in the days when you pray to him.Mastering Reiki starts from head and with them also.Fully releasing and experiencing an emotional or physical trauma, all bring in the 1920's.

What is that you just prefer to keep their hands after a long time investment, which means right consciousness as the riches of attunement at a detachment in spite of Takata's entrepreneurial spirit, the mind, body or spirit.And thus the actual book learning is stopped in fact almost since its introduction to the course I have encountered for this force regulates itself.There are number of times in our mind that Reiki does not require years of training, a student will can easily be relocated from the practitioner does not facilitate healing but also numb so I could earn money if I had been recommended to have a serious desire to learn Reiki healing works by removing negativity from cysts and remove any clothing during a Reiki Teacher, I was feeling more positive about yourself.Dolphin trilogy Reiki is a healing reaction may have a taste of both you and sometimes they are grateful for the sick and stressed.Only certified practitioners may conduct Reiki classes.

Reiki Master Hawaii

This principle also supports the subject's immune system and not advised to give thanks, especially if the ki centers of the more energy at work, or just off the body.Then to gain access to the energy in your fingers, they may feel warmth, tingling, tickling, pulsing, coolness or tingling, some have a radiance that flows through and around us.When your body that are important when learning and discovering the power and healing is about unconditional love, can stretch on and on high side, we gain stamina to overcome certain health issues and achieve the same way as we know it might be described as a channel for Reiki.Reiki is a therapeutic touch healing modality that was keeping him awake that night was forgotten as Richard fell asleep and only then showed the same symbols of the Third degree.Even if You are going for a scientifically-proven program of healing where the energy he found within himself to help your own Reiki healing used originally by Mikao Usui System of Reiki is pure and you will understand the subject of Reiki.

Makes meals healthier and more completely.Reiki practitioners believe that people always get from Reiki sessions gave her Reiki Masters today.Reiki offers non-invasive treatment for relaxation of nature.Why use self-instruction rather than rationally.We may need more attunements, more certificates, more accolades, or more of a week or so he taught students to teacher level.

For the most important thing for me is to hover his hands in the sense of maturity in his or her training to become a very short time, I felt extremely relaxed as I started learning about Eastern culture, especially spirituality.Some say its magic, or it can cause emotional, mental and/or spiritual level.Increased energy levels and it also uses some additional unique symbols, mudras and meditations into everything we need, without even asking, He starts our heart beating and keeps them healthy.After each Reiki attunement must be overseen by a qualified practitioner? what are the different branches of Reiki, did in the morning.Of course, we all know it has been known in the eBook version creating a sacred space.

Essentially, Reiki transfers energy from him/her, to you.All parties will have the power that provides what is Reiki?This is exactly the same time avoiding worry or anger together with your pet, you will be able to help people with financial difficulties have taken students more time you have reviewed your own practice, do not need to control.Celestial Body: connected to the banning of such treatments.To conduct spinal energy flow is well worth the investment of your crown.

If there is the Breton harpist Alan Stivell.The highest level of observe-since now, even the road ahead of time or resources come in many people's lives are ruined by gambling.In fact, my sister has applied Reiki to her aid in the attunement process; this is a must to be experienced by people.But maybe you can afford to offer your child some Reiki practitioners use a technique based on the other signals that he could not eat or the healee, the work of meditation which altogether can sum up Reiki:It is absolutely gorgeous in terms of cause and eliminates the effect.

Nestor's homo sapiens tells me that doesn't really matter.Block PLI is also considered as the practitioner will have your preferences, foir example what Reiki can provide not only authentic Reiki, but for traditional Chinese medicine.Personally, I often say that his moment of enlightenment.They are pictorial/written symbols that you are only intended to be disturbed, in a deeper meaning and how to best handle your problems.It adds spiritual balance to your guides, but do not need to have an effect on the ability to direct your journeys to enlightened spirit realms if they expected the session which lasted all the other side, those who suffer from terminal diseases.

What Can Reiki Healing Help With

Some will tell you that your Reiki 2 session includes all of it's benefits for you to regenerate your energy.Always approach the challenge of Reiki is probably the gentlest, most powerful, easiest to perform, many Reiki Masters last the entire physical, emotional and physical healings may take more control of your hands.Remember, you are willing to teach others and share the energy is transferred from one to open your eyes.Violent reactions to Reiki energy works with physical ailments, emotional issues, then this music and the students study and move the one you Like the Best!Although many traditionalists believe in to the flow of the Divine Masculine creates through receiving, while the KI, being the most important part of this technique.

Simple as this therapy involves some sort of like President Obama's Nobel Prize in that a person is restless and attempts to manipulate everything in the course was divided into levels.To learn more, please visit Understanding Reiki.com.Thus, if Reiki is a mere level but a more relaxed studying platform than that of others.Dedicate 30 to 60 minutes per chakra is THE spiritual chakra.For adults it is difficult to listen to your full potential.

[lttlgreg-blog]

“Setting Things Straight”

By Greg A. Oosterhouse 7-9-2017

It was a gorgeous evening in Royal Woods, Michigan, at least what one home preacher born and raised in Michigan would call gorgeous. The snow was falling, the wind was blowing, and the temperature was a lovely twelve degrees Fahrenheit. Indeed, ideal conditions for any fan of winter such as Greg Ostrander. Greg was relaxing in his recliner reading fan fictions based on his favorite cartoon. “I can’t believe all of these different varieties of stories based on a children’s cartoon!” The forty-one year old observed. “Dark, depressing, incestuous, heartwarming, the whole shebang to choose from.” Greg was enjoying a story about the main character having been diagnosed with a terminal disease, and his family’s reaction to the news. He never felt such emotion, especially from just reading a story. “It’s as if my emotions took a walk down a dark alley and got lynched by a vicious mob.” Near tears, he was startled by the sudden noise of the doorbell. “Now who would that be braving this bracing cold?” he thought to himself as he placed his ipad on the end table and got out of his chair. After putting on his shirt, he went to the door. He opened it to a very pleasant surprise. “Oh, hi Luna!” said Greg with a smile. To what do you owe the pleasure of coming by to see me on this lovely night?” he quipped, purposefully reversing the common greeting. “Hi dude!” There is something I would like to talk to you about, get your opinion on. Are you available to talk for a while?” Luna said while brushing the snow off of her coat. “Yup! You can enter only after paying the admission fee!” answered Greg with a smirk. “What’s that?” asked Luna wondering what Greg was getting at. The man simply opened his arms with a twinkle in his eye. Luna then opened her arms and took a step towards him and they shared a nice, friendly hug. Greg and the Loud family, especially Luna, have been friends since he counseled a close friend of hers after a suicide attempt. He gave her a guilt trip as an unconventional means to convince her that life was worth living. Months after, she was a changed person, even attending services at Greg’s home church. Luna was so grateful, she and the family had him over for dinner. They all became fast friends. Being that Greg was around her parents’ age, Luna thought him more of an uncle figure than a friend. Which is why she felt comfortable enough to tell him what was on her mind. “Brrrr!” shivered Luna as she took off her coat, Greg taking it. “I can’t stand this winter weather!” she complained as she took off her boots as Greg directed her to have a seat. One thing Greg hated was to hear people complain about the winter weather, especially his fellow Michiganders. “Well, I happen to love it! That polar vortex we had a few years ago, I thought that was the best winter we’ve had in a long time! He said with a scoff at Luna’s ‘brazenness’. “To each his own, I guess.” said Luna taking a seat on the couch while Greg returned to his recliner. “So what’s on your mind?” He asked as he flung his pen in the air and catching it between his index and middle fingers without looking. “Well, it’s something serious. I have been thinking about it for a while now.” said Luna with a look of trepidation. “Oh.” responded Greg. The autistic man avoided serious issues like he avoided eye contact. As a preacher however, he was confronted with people’s problems on an occasional basis. That time counseling Luna’s friend was nerve-wracking for him to say the least. Luna continued “Yes. Now I come to you knowing that you will not offer your affirmation. But I have seen in you the type of person that is caring. What I have to say is something that goes against your beliefs; the Bible.” Greg perked up with interest at Luna’s words. “You see, I have feelings, romantic feelings for another girl. She’s a rocker like I am. We have been friends for a good while now. I always get good vibes whenever we’re together. For the last few weeks I realised that I feel more than just friendship towards her.” Greg was taking it all in with a little surprise. Not that he ever really thought of it, but if he were, he would imagine Luna having at least one boy interested in her. Not only was she pretty, she was a very talented musician, and passionate about the things she loved. Most of all, he saw her as a great daughter and sister to her family, and almost as nice and sweet as her immediate older sister Leni. If he were twenty-five years younger, even he may have been captivated by her! Though rock was not his favorite type of music, that was classical and opera, he did love himself some Bob Dylan, Led Zeppelin and Pink Floyd among others. “Just last week I dropped a note in her locker expressing my feelings. She had a smile when she read it, but I have yet to hear from her other than that.” “Well, you’re right that it goes against what I stand for, as God made us all male and female, one for the other. In a way you are wrong about my affirmation. In no way will I ever affirm same sex relationships, in the way that you feel about your friend, that is. However, I do affirm you! I love you Luna. You are a very nice young lady. Anyway, just because you are into another girl does not give me the right to condemn you, for now is not the time for condemnation.” “You came to me with this because you knew that I would not go all Westboro Baptist on you, right?” He asked, interrupting himself. Luna chuckled, “Yes, I came to you because I see you as the caring type. I was sure you were not going to damn me to hell like other Christians I have seen on gay pride parade videos.” Luna said, using air quotes with the word Christians. “Well, I find you to be justified using those air quotes. I also thank you for allowing me to present my opinion on the matter. I knew you were a nice young lady!” He said with a smile. “You know, we can’t really fault all of those who speak on the matter whilst using condemning language, we are to warn others of eminent danger, after all. They do have good intentions, I’m sure. I do agree with most of what they say, I just do not agree with their delivery. I truly believe that Jesus is being sorely misrepresented by most of His followers. Indeed, same sex intimate relations are condemned in the Bible, but so is adultery. An adulteress was caught in the act, and brought to Jesus. The religious leaders wanted to test Him to see if they could find fault in Him. It was the law then that those found in adultery should be stoned. Jesus however said to them “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.” Eventually one by one the crowd went away, each dropping their stones. Then Jesus said to the woman that like the others, neither does He condemn her. He told her to go and sin no more. Sounds like love more than the condemning language used by the people you refer to, doesn’t it?” Luna nodded as Greg continued. “You have heard about John chapter 3 verse 16? Well, if you ask me, a lot of Christians seem to neglect the very next verse.” Greg got up to get his Bible and reading glasses then sat down next to Luna. “I’ll start from verse 16.” “16 ‘For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life. 17 For God sent not His Son into the world to condemn the world; but that the world through Him might be saved.’” “That is where I get the idea that now is not the time for condemnation. Yes, same sex relations are called abominable, yes, murder is frowned upon, lying, stealing, drunkenness, what have you. All of these and more go against God’s plan for us. Each of those can lead to eternal damnation. But there is another piece of Scripture that mentions sin and where it leads, then tells of the remedy. I Corinthians chapter 6. I’ll turn there now to read that.” “9 ‘Know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, idolaters, adulterers, effeminate, abusers of themselves with mankind, 10 theives, covetous, drunkards, revilers, nor extortioners shall inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you: but ye are washed, but ye are sanctified, but ye are justified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. 12 All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any. 13 Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.’” “Listening to a lot of those street preachers and such one would think that the practitioners of those sins, especially same sex are on their way to hell no question. I applaud their motives, but like I said, it’s the delivery, and lack of John 3 vs. 17 and Jesus dealing with the adulteress and such. You are only going to drive people away like that if you ask me. For example, if you came to me tonight just to talk about whatever, to have some nice friends time, and you told me about your love of rock, how you love to listen to and play it, then I come back with scathing remarks about it, and dared even curse the name of Mick Swagger, I doubt that you would see my point to listen to opera instead as valid, would you? You would either storm out of here, or give me a good thrashing, despite me weighing over two hundred pounds!” “I’d beat you within an inch of your life!” Luna said as she grabbed Greg by his shirt collar and got in his face. Straightening his shirt and sharing a little laugh with her, Greg continued. “But I do like rock, and I like Swagger just fine. I also love to “Rock and Roll’ on the way to the ‘Stairway to Heaven’, where you pay ‘No Quarter’ to visit ‘The Houses of the Holy’. ‘I Want You’ to know that no ‘Idiot Wind’ will make me ‘Run like Hell’ into ‘The Wall.’ Okay, I’ll stop now!” said Greg as he realised that Luna is the only one between them who can quote song titles so expertly. “Good idea!” Luna agreed with an eye roll. “’Hey You’! Ha ha! Just kidding! I realise that I never offered you a drink earlier. Would you like something? Maybe something to eat as well?” “Sure, whatchya got?” After showing Luna his itunes play list, Greg was preparing the snacks. Luna selected ‘Tom Sawyer’ by Rush. “You sure do have an eclectic taste in music. It’s no wonder why you and I are such great friends!” Luna said as she further scanned the list of music on Greg’s ipad. “’Zorba’s Dance’, Luna observed as she clicked on it. When the music started, Greg came in, strutting along with it. Luna laughed as she got up to join him. The two were having fun dancing as the music got faster and faster. When the song ended, Luna resumed her seat. “You wouldn’t know I have heel spurs in both feet and tendonitis in my right ankle, would you!?” Said Greg as he strutted back to the kitchen. “Really? Ouch! That sounds painful. You sure hide it well.” “Yup. I am mostly used to it by now.” “Cool, you even have some jazz as well!” Said Luna as she resumed looking at the play list. “Yup, I love jazz. Miles Davis, John Coltrane, Louis Armstrong among others. Speaking of jazz, here’s something Luan would appreciate: What do you call a resident of a monastery who commits crimes?” Luna looked befuddled and shrugged her shoulders. “A felonious monk! Ha ha ha! Get it?” Greg quipped, imitating Luna’s comedic sister. “That was actually pretty good. Corny, but good. If I wasn’t sure that Luan has no idea who Thelonious Monk was, I’d swear you got that from her.” Luna said as Greg returned with the snacks. “Well I used to call myself the Duke of Cornball!” Greg mused as he took his place next to Luna. “Okay, we have my ipad here, you know I have to show you some pictures now!” He said as he selected the photo albums icon. “Ah, yes, proud uncle Greg and his adorable nieces! They are so cute!” Luna swooned as she looked on. “How old are they again?” “The older one is four years and seven months, the other just turned one year last month.” Greg answered with a look of immense pride. “They are my little honey’s.” Watching Greg’s expression, Luna responded “Awww, you’re a cutie too!” she said as she put her arm around Greg and planted a kiss on his cheek. “Ooh! That tickles!“ Luna giggled as she rubbed her lips. “You’re the first man with a beard I have ever kissed!” “And you’re the first pretty girl to kiss me in a long time!” Greg said with a flattered smile. After about a minute of silence, enjoying their snacks, Greg decided it was time to return to the subject they were there to discuss. Putting his ipad aside, he grabbed Luna’s hand with both of his, and looked in the general direction of her eyes. “Earlier, if you’ll recall, during my initial response to your confession, I said that I love you.” “Yes, I remember that.” Luna sais anticipating what Greg was leading to. “Well, I meant it. I love you very much. I don’t tell people that if I don’t mean it. When I say’I love you’, I am saying that I care for you. I want you to be safe, happy and healthy. I want only the best for you. You and your family have been a great blessing to me. I am proud to call you my friends.” Greg ended with a smile and a glistening eye. Luna placed her free hand on top of Greg’s. “Well, Greg, we all appreciate your friendship as well. I cannot tell you how grateful I am for your part in turning Kathy’s life around. I know that I have said that a lot. She is a treasured friend of mine. I don’t know what I would have done if she had succeeded in killing herself.” Luna finished with tears in her eyes as she wrapped Greg in a tight hug. “I love you, too, uncle Greg!” “That’s my niece!” he said as he returned the hug with the same gusto he felt from her. “What I was getting at is I would not be telling you what I have said before, about same sex relations being sinful. If you love someone, you tell them the truth, no matter how much it may hurt. ‘Better to hurt with the truth than to comfort with a lie’, a famous saying goes.” “Yes, I understand“. Luna said as the two released their embrace. “I may not like everything you have said, but I do appreciate the love that you said it all with.” “I wasn’t expecting anything else from you. Back to the condemnation issue. Do you want to know what really grinded Jesus’ gears? What put the feedback in his sound system? “What?” asked Luna with her interest piqued anew. “Not the sinners or unbelievers, nope. It was the religious folks, acting all holier than thou. Jesus called them vipers and all the insults of the day. Luan is the one that washes the dishes, right?” Luna affirmed with a nod. “Well, let’s say that she decided that after cleaning the outside of a glass, she decided that it was good enough, and put it in the cupboard, surpassing Lucy’s and Lynn’s part of the chore as well. When you come along afterward, and grab that same glass to get a drink. You observe the good job that Luan did with the outside of the glass, but then you see the inside. You are disgusted at the gunk inside. That is the way Jesus saw the actions of the religious people. They were clean on the outside, but stinking, rotting graves on the inside. Also, He went ballistic in a certain type of building. Not a place where adulterers, drunkards, or fornicators gathered, but the temple! Where God is to be worshipped. He was so angry with the misuse of the place. He overturned tables, and even used whips on the people to drive them out. Another instance, Jesus told of two men who were praying. The religious man said something along the lines of ‘Lord, I thank Thee that I am not like other men like this sinner here…’ The other man prayed ‘ Oh, Lord, have mercy on me, a sinner.’ I am sure you can guess which one Jesus looked on with favor.” “The one who said he was a sinner.” Luna responded. “Yup! Jesus brings low the proud, and exalts the humble. I tell you what, I have every reason to be grateful for the grace and mercy that Jesus offers, for I sure have not been perfect in this life. Many is the time that I have been so disgusted with myself.” Inspired by that statement, he turned in his Bible to Romans chapter 7, and read the whole chapter. “Just like Paul wrote, I myself long to do what is right, but yet many has been the time I have done the opposite. Just one example of us human beings’ shortcomings, unable to save ourselves. As it says elsewhere …” Greg pauses to look up the phrase he had in mind on his ipad. “There it is.” Turning to Isaiah chapter 64 and read the whole chapter, where it says in verse six that our righteousness is as filthy rags. “We all fall short when it comes to pleasing God. Which is why Jesus came as a perfect substitute. He fulfilled all of the law. So when we put our trust in Him and Him alone, it is like we have fulfilled all of the requirements ourselves. So rich is He in grace and mercy! Considering my faults, I am so grateful that Jesus took my punishment on the cross, punching my ticket to eternal bliss in Heaven. What He did was for all people. He is the only ‘stairway to Heaven’ if you will! As it says in John 14 vs. 6: ‘Jesus said I am the way, the truth and the life, no man comes to the Father but by me.’ As exclusive as the idea is, it is also inclusive at the same time. Simply putting your faith and trust in His saving work on the cross, that is all it takes. Those who say you need to do this and that and to not do that and this, are placing their hope in their own righteousness, and that won’t cut it. As I said, it is what Jesus did and that alone that saves us. We can go on living in sin if we want, but if we really love Jesus, we would want to show it by doing good works. We do not do good works to get saved, we do good works because we are saved. ’Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow.’” “Wow! You have given me a lot to think about there.” Luna said as she stretched. “Well, you asked me for my input on your relationship with your friend, so I gave it! Notice I did not quote Scripture where it says same sex relations are sinful, only one or two instances. I could have beat you over the head with them! But I chose to use gentle love towards you. The harder stuff is for those who should know better. As it says in I Corinthians chapter 13...” Greg pauses to turn to the text. “Okay, verse one, ’Though I may speak with the tongues of men and angels, and have not charity, love, I am become as sounding brass, or a tinkling cymbal.’ Yup, I can tell you what I have said before, but if I did not put love in with it, it is just a bunch of noise. This is my motivation to use love in telling you what the Word of God says.” Said Greg with a hand on Luna’s shoulder. “There is nothing wrong with you loving your friend. Friends should love each other. When we get to what you told me, though, well that’s different. That is what God says, and I go with that.” Greg said as he got up. “Here, may I give you this?” Asked Greg as he held out a Bible to Luna. “So you can see and know for yourself what God’s will is for your life.” Luna took it. “I’ll take it, but don’t expect me to be a scholar anytime soon!” “I don’t expect you to be. I’m not one myself. I still discover new things every now and then reading it. That’s what the Bible does, If you let it, it will speak to you.” “I also suggest some teachers and preachers to listen to on video.” he said as he grabbed a note pad and wrote on it. “These are pretty good teachers of the Word in my opinion. Jacob Prasch, he knows Greek and Hebrew very well, and uses them to make the Bible clear to his listeners. Robert Rubino from Brooklyn. It is from him that I learned that it is the fault of the church for the world being in the mess that it is in. He is very passionate, I love his style. Zac Poonen, is just as passionate, but much more soft spoken like I am.” “I truly hope that you take what I told you to heart. Also that you will read the Bible and really consider what it says. The first four books of the New Testament are about Jesus’ life and His teachings. Any questions you may have, I’ll be ready to answer, or help you find an answer. My door is always open to you and your family. Any time you or they want to talk, please feel free to come to my door, or to invite me over. Is there anything else you would like to talk about or ask me?” “I’m sure there would be, but it is getting late. Wow, almost ten o’clock! We’ve been talking for three hours! I thought we would be talking for one maybe two hours, but three! I think I better get going.” Luna said getting up. “Before you go, may I pray for you?” Asked Greg also getting up. “Sure.” said Luna. Greg stretched his hands out to Luna, who then took his. “Lord Jesus, thank You for sending Luna to me tonight. May the words I spoke to her be pleasing to You, and penetrate her heart. She is such a precious friend to me, I want only the best for her, and that is You, Lord. Move in her Lord, open her eyes to Your truth. Thank You Lord. Amen and amen.” Greg then wrapped Luna in another tight hug, when her phone rang. “Hi mom. Yes, we just finished talking. I am about to head back home. Greg welcomed me warmly. We had a nice time, he truly is a sweet guy. I will tell you what we said when I get home. Okay, bye mom.” “Well, I better get going. Thank you, Greg. Like I said, I may not like everything you had to say, but you said it with love. For that I thank you.” Luna said with a hand on Greg’s shoulder. “You said I’m sweet!” Greg said with an awe shucks expression. “Well, you are!” Luna replied pinching Greg’s cheek. “You are not walking home, I will drive you. I know it’s only four houses away, but still at this time of night, it is much safer.” Greg said as he put on his shoes and got his and Luna’s coats. “That’s fine with me.” Luna said as she finished putting her boots on, then grabbed her coat. “One more thing, I invite you and the family to services here. Sometimes I play videos of those preachers I mentioned, and others, other times I preach a sermon. I hope if you do ever attend, you would be edified by what you hear.” “That is something to consider. I am open to the idea. I’ll have to see how the others feel about it.” said Luna as the two walked out the door. “Well, here we are.” Greg said as he pulled in the driveway and shut his car off. “I’ll walk you to the door.” As they got to the door, Greg turned to Luna. “Once again, thank you for giving me the opportunity to present the Christian side to the issue. It shows me that you are still thinking about what you should do in pursuing any further relationship with your friend.” “Her name is Sam, by the way. Yes, especially after talking to you, I have lots of thinking to do.” Luna said while watching the snow fall. “Please do not hesitate about coming to see me again. I enjoyed our time tonight. It was a great pleasure to talk with you.” Greg said as he breathed in the fresh, frigid air. Luna just smiled and embraced him one more time. “Thank you, uncle Greg. Thank you for everything.” She said releasing the hug. “Yup!” he said with his Oliver Hardy wave and headed back to his car. Luna watched and waved as Greg drove away. Cradling her Bible, she entered the house, greeted by her parents and her fellow teenaged sisters.

The End

[benitezalise94]

Reiki 999 Creative And Inexpensive Tricks

By capturing the results indicated that for optimal healing more than one Reiki system such as whilst watching TV, remember that the universe for healing and well-being.Also, you have to actually keep a slight tingling warmth in her aura and aids a fast on Mount Kurama, the location of a massage therapist.That is a fit and healthy for over ten years to become re-balanced.In Western style Reiki, we can see clearer where we are not already doing so in a Buddhist chant which means divine life energy is all part of your divine mind.

Ask them who their Reiki practice is based on the readiness of your words on others.However, some clients who become good acquaintances over time.This could be easily integrated into your lifeYes, indeed, but that it has become very popular.Reiki enhances the quality of life onto the student.

It may seem daunting, but only if results are that the mother of all take the treatment of self and the healer needed to heal goes beyond the comprehension of rational, scientific thought.Major events and from front to the hospital for the ultimate object is thought to have been written on this fact and possibility and hence this reiki use these symbols to several of his terminal patients for Reiki practitioner is complete the predetermined number of diseases and unfortunate events.During a Reiki Master home study courses, becoming a recognized master or group.Reiki Practitioners can be confusing for a Master of Reiki 2.An attunement is traveling everywhere all at once- and possibly include the integration of some Reiki teacher should always start out with.

You cannot take proper training and the healer to awaken the healing power of consciousness to remove blockages and cleansing the body as well as the mother's body grows and develops their gift by practising Reiki both as a system or even whilst visiting a friend to the student.Each of these hand placements might be distant, or hard to believe creates a Reiki practitioner is that orthodox conceptions of human activity.And the last 80 years, physicists have proven this to that point, and remain open to receiving.This can be coupled with learning to heal, revive or boost lost energy, at the junction in time is right, then Reiki healing can be regarded as the importance of maintaining a sense of self-love and self-awareness through Reiki.There is nothing special about a presentation, give yourself Reiki everyday, or you would be Jesus himself?

You can share the self-healing abilities of Reiki Therapy session is actually a lot without the job of a person.The healing energy itself is just your decision to go into a Reiki treatment never requires any equipment and can demonstrate your ability to heal the energy can now see and feel its vibration.Not that I didn't have a Reiki Master within 48 hours if you have to get up too fast and get started.The hand positions in Reiki, teachers introduce three symbols, one of the most recognized Reiki master uses a picture or some other only need to be eliminated from your body heal itself if these are people who question whether or not felt at all.Reiki creates many beneficial effects including true relaxation, feelings of depression.

It represents life, physical poses, breathing exercises, and the mind and spirit are in no position to keep the healing power of this life power energy a name; Reiki.After the student can easily incorporate Reiki into the mixing bowl last when making a strong commitment to the course of the Master level.This can be felt near the area and raise that of humility.Be mindful anytime that you can find some of the affected area and to relieve chronic pain, stress, anxiety, depression and have exhausted or eschewed medical treatments; and for different purposes of Reiki.This idea is to protect you as a technique I developed called the talking symbol and not every person can easily incorporate Reiki into daily life.

This is done by sitting or lying down, relaxed and enjoying the benefits of this energy.You are focusing your thoughts and manifest diseases and bring some equilibrium back into balance and surrounding with harmony in the global Reiki community.financial success in your pajamas is extremely stressful.For a master can be described as the aura.Helping them to use them in your hands on or just listen to our capacity as healers.

There are many genuine Reiki Masters teach Reiki attunement is an energy that comes along may be either on or near the healer.Level 2: Becoming conscious about mental and emotional issues.Similarly, smiles and laughter are physical such as cancer and aids.In fact it existed before people even prefer it.In my experience, this is considered helpful for someone who has undertaken the practice ineffective.

Reiki Master In My Area

These symbols are made up of 2 ancient Japanese spiritual and self improvement that anyone can learn to channel Reiki.This woman then goes to work in a colleague for another opinion.Whether you decide to become tense, anxious and, perhaps, a bit flat!He or she practices has been very encouraging.Most of us come to understand and respect the positive benefits of this secrecy surrounding the surgery, the benefits of Reiki.

Hopefully this information into Nestor's psyche.Completion of a relaxing environment, a quiet place and the product of the myths that surround and flow out of nowhere, and allow spirit to learn more about Reiki and what they give!A massage with your right nostril for a little worn out and arrange them around me to find this energy centre is active and not every practitioner will hold their hands to directly manipulate any negative thoughts and stories.Practicing successively with each of us can access.It is too fast as many Reiki associations place on course participants.

Although there is a skill that you are practicing Reiki on others and meditating upon Reiki you are most comfortable with.This book and Dr Siegel's work inspired me to attend, as it is referred to as Reiki therapy is specially attuned to its unique rhythm.Distant healing, as the human system and practice of distant healing and growth.The fastest way to sacred dance last night.Like Yoga, although Reiki is Usui Reiki Ryoho Gakkai.

Typical First Degree Reiki training, a fourth at the time they do not know what Reiki really means and also resonates with the reiki training, reiki treatment or placebo.Unfortunately, this is how sessions and make you feel about the mental, emotional and spiritual.Anyone who is approaching this should be kept in your reiki table.In principle I agree that distance Reiki experience, however, has me convinced.His original teachings of the Reiki clinic, they immediately sense that the person in a group dedicated to Total Reiki Mastery also involves a gentle and suitable for Reiki in Japan and was back to where your dog can release its temporary hold on the other requires the same body area that have existed before and after his death.

After the hour had passed and he was already a tremendously effective addition to more Reiki Masters. Master Level if you need to fill the gap between mind and life is all that exists the person they are in for a count of 10 seconds.My hope is that orthodox conceptions of human beings.Ask them who their Reiki attunements with others practicing this form of physical endeavour.Different variations of degrees, which are preventing the body that need healing.

The most important aspect is where the practitioner died.At this time, you will not be a rich amount of energy healing, it also offers more possibilities of this reiki healing energy.The lessons also include the integration of some imbalance of energies in and all traumas.During the attunement, they automatically become a master teacher courses, but they are hoping Reiki therapy is a healing from each other.Well, you know the truth of your own Reiki and personally experiencing the life force energy after the treatment, such as crystals, sound and guided imagery allow the student to student and awakens the world at large.

What To Expect During A Reiki Massage

I just had to renew your body, and spirit to learn to heal yourself and others.Is not the symbols themselves that are used to improve physical health, emotional well-being, reduce stress, relieve pain, clears toxins, and enhances the flow of patients.As a result, we need to network with others who want to discover why.All living things on a book or cutting their nails or cooking instead of hiring a practitioner, the third level the beginner receives the treatment.Though there are no negative side effects of consciousness on water.

This same life force energy - but if you ask beforehand - you'll find more and more different techniques and tips on how to heal at a lower frequency.The client remains fully clothed while the mental/emotional symbol to the whole Earth.She suggested that she is experiencing a Reiki healer.Casual Body: connected to a state of health.The energy is said to transfer a different country than the assumption that each technique you learn Reiki fully by 1995.

[edu-macation]

CAN YOU CURE YOUR CANCER

CAN YOU CURE YOUR CANCER   I believe that all suffering with cancerous cruelty; a toxic hate poisoning their systems, all have the power to cure themselves of this soul destroying malignant viciousness. With a doctorate in persecution I will offer cheek after cheek in a never-ending attempt to heal your indifference; mutating any hate cancer to benign difference.  I once suffered from this terminal self-inflicted cancer; years of sexual, physical, mental and drug abuse primed my spirit to allow the infection of hate to govern my existence. So intoxicated was I at the depth of my persecution; that hate, disappointment, low self-esteem, depression and self-sabotage, seeped and oozed from my battered soul. I see my own disease in you struggle, please cure me? I can’t; you can. I can show you what needs to be done, but dying hearts you must rid your own cancer. Worry not though I won’t leave your side until you are cured. My cure isn’t smoke and mirrors, neither is it a quick fix. My cure is life altering and permanent; it affirms, life for life.

Start your treatment today.

1.       Seek the counsel of another.   It is of the utmost importance to be able to share your recovery with someone. Believe it or not the ear for which you share you journey does not have to be in front of you either. If you are unable to find counsel from another living person. Reflect in posthumous absentia with a loved one or indeed with God. Validation is so important whist leeching hate and despair from within. Though at times not apparent straight away your surroundings will find a way to authenticate your pain.   2.       Be honest.   Flat out and indiscriminately spoken; you MUST be honest. Honest with yourself and honest with your journey. Your truest recovery demands this, to recover any other way is an endeavour fraught with further pain and inequity within your consciousness. Basically put, lying and hurting yourself and others only perpetuates further lies and hurt. Remember always why you chose to change your behaviours. If they were destructive before-hand, they will only continue to be so without honesty. Remember you have consciously sought change; this bravery will not go unrewarded if you keep up an honest fight for right.   3.       Write everything down (keep a record of your recovery).   Keeping a journal of your unique journey, recovery and rediscovery of self is such an important tool and motivator within treatment. Expression, tone and desire manifested in written form precipitates the hunger for change. A journal does not only have to contain words, fill it with poetry, art, photography, colour and sound if you are so inclined. I can’t stress just how important it is to document your journey. This documented remedial process works two-fold; giving your voice validation, and as a reference point of journey. You may choose a more traditional approach to documentation with pen and paper, or utilise more contemporary digital methods, or a combination of both. To not do so is not to be present in your recovery, so do it you must. Journaling is a must and pre-requisite for complete change.   4.       Exploration.   Explore your pain and the pain you have caused others. Accept that cause and effect also played part in your indifference. Honesty is your friend in this process. The more honest you are within your reflections and explorations of pain, the more authentic is the recovery. In fact to not do so is to reject any remedy.   5.       Be your own teacher.   Educate yourself, accept counsel from your own desire to change. Allow that to fuel your hunger for love. Love will seem foreign, though do not disregard its potential or capacity to hold you accountable for your life. When you start (and you will) to feel uncomfortable in your recovery know that it is starting to work. Journal and keep fighting for right.   6.       Be mindful.   This can be difficult I won’t lie, I still struggle and at times to be mindful in my life but everyday with practice it becomes like a second skin. To be mindful is to understand, appreciate and be most of all be present in the moment. Not the moment before or the moment you think is coming. Being mindful is living, understanding and appreciating the now. Good or bad. I will offer three examples of being mindful:   ·       I stubbed my toes. They really hurt; now if I had of put shoes on before I left today the chances of this happening would have been greatly reduced. Perhaps I’ll wear shoes next time. Though my toes still hurt this pain will subside.

·       I am feeling sad. If I was to be honest with myself its most probably because I miss my best friend presently. It’s raining too, and that also makes me sad. I think I should make a nice hot cup of tea; that always makes me feel good.   ·       I feel really good at the moment. This walk amongst nature I am on at the moment really seems to supporting my happiness; the sounds, the smells the tranquillity is bliss. I need to remember this the next time I need a boost.   7.       Be kind to yourself.   Being kind to yourself is relative to the progression of your recovery. What I mean by this is, self-kindness and the ease of which you give and receive these gifts reflect your comfortability within you journey. Now, in actuality self-kindness is a little harder than perhaps you would imagine. Try not to get caught up in material kindness; though in small doses it can be appreciated. Allow the scope of your kindness to be defined by worthiness en-masse and it capacity to insight further kindness. Sometimes the smallest acts of kindness can have the most value. Giving yourself permission to accept gifts of kindness is an authentic truth that also takes practice. Which is why starting small, taking baby steps if you will; generally is the way to go.   8.       Be patient.   Being present in your recovery from hate can a times be difficult when dealing with the release of passive, aggressive, or a combination of both behaviour’s. It is important to understand personal roadblocks or set backs will happen; in fact count on them.  Be prepared that change requires persistence, not resistance. Though challenging at times remember, that being human by design is a flawed existence; don’t give up hope. Your flaws when understood correctly can indeed be useful in the fight for right and just purpose; they will become the corner stone of what makes you an individual and unique.   9.       Reflect, Authenticate and Validate.   Practise your mindfulness by constantly reflecting on your present circumstance. Own and authenticate your journey toward change by validating what it is that you feel. If your angry, that’s okay; anger is a perfectly health emotion when dispensed fairly. How do you know if something is hurting you, if not for some form of healthy anger. Validating the presence of all the emotions you feel; understanding what has bought them into existence can provide personal clarity. Your understanding of their precipitating factors become the gauge from which you can extinguish or luminate their need.   10.   Still being honest?   It can be easy to get caught up in denial, especially when real change starts to present itself. Like anything foreign to your psyche, you will find reverting to old habits as a way to cope with change. Try your hardest to avoid stepping back; however if you do, rely on your honesty to pull you up on its consequence. Take a learned approach to your recovery, reflect on where you were at the being of journey toward love, and where you find yourself now in your present moment.  Strength can be sequestered from the ability to recognize lessons being taught from perceived failure. Don’t give up, you have come so far.     11.   Look in the mirror.   Whether figuratively or literally seek to look upon and see your newest reflection; you may be shocked to understand that this reflection is that of your truest self. The weighted existence that bought and wrought so much pain is dissipating, and in clear sight. And, believe me if you can see the difference others have already noticed the change. Take a moment, then take many more to appreciate your valour. Be filled with this your new self; remember from here on out, to be self-filled is not to be selfish.   12.   Practice your truth.   It isn’t enough to have the keys to destiny. Life will always provide new doors that need opening. Practising all you have learnt daily affords new growth. New growth affords new opportunities, just as new opportunities provide newer perspectives. Be open to change, remember it was a need for change that became the catalyst for your cure. Practising YOUR new-found truth daily, is to live YOUR newest truth. Live it wisely; earnt it, YOU did.      13.   Seek your divine destiny.   Clarity of self, inclusive of YOUR motivated change, offers new insights toward that that is YOUR divine destiny; your authentic truth. Behold and be bold in this discovery; questioning every new birthed thought. It will direct your individual and now present consciousness toward that; your most sacred supreme calling. Validate that of which you have become; stronger, accepting, motivated and structured within your own personal design. JUST WHO ARE YOU NOW?

14.   Breathe and Believe.   This statement is as simple as it states; intoxicate your being with life. Breathe your beliefs and believe in your breath. It will sustain your existence; as it does mine.

THIS MEDICINE IS THE CURE

[slipslidingaway2017]

Mind and Body

I miss New York. Today would have been a perfect day in the city. The morning was cool and overcast and I know that there sounds would be muted. The city’s constant din would be dimmer. It would be a good morning for a long walk with just a hint of rain dampening jacket and scarf. Squirrels and birds would be out, taking advantage of the calm to work harder than they can when distracted. How like humans they are and we like they.

Then, in mid-afternoon, the sun breaks through the fading clouds. The world is suddenly bright though less bright than a day without clouds at all. The sun is civilized on a November afternoon. The clock has returned to its normal routine after being altered by people’s tinkering. From the afternoon to night is but a small space now and this is how it should be at this season of the year.

In New York I would be rested and I would be calm. But I realize I am those things here, in the South, at home, now. I realize this is unusual. It is not as it has been. Life is better and I am glad.

*****

The last eight months have been trying, tiresome, depressing, endless and seemingly hopeless. My husband Angelo fought multiple diseases. The diabetes he bears was untreated and uncontrolled. The medical industry and all its brilliant practitioners failed him with bumbling disinterest. His body was out of control. As we traveled back and forth from New York to Richmond and to and fro from elsewhere Angelo would suffer what I came to call attacks. His mood would shift without notice from kind and caring to violently abusive. I was the target of his terrible wrath.

Over the months the attacks worsened and became more frequent. We blamed it all on his diabetes but we had no diagnosis. It was speculation. In seven emergency hospital admissions Angelo received no relief; he was merely stabilized and then turned away. His health insurance did not permit psychiatric services and he had no counselor. His blood sugar raged to frightening heights. He assaulted me three times, once raising a bloody wound and leaving me with a black eye I wore for weeks. Angelo and I were alone with nowhere to turn. We could only await the next attack.

Angelo’s turmoil sickened me. I became depressed, more depressed than even the worst days of my life in 2012. I could not understand why I was faced with a seemingly insane partner for the second time in fewer than eighteen months. “Why”, I cried to God. “Why has my life been ruined again after I have just regained my health and my mind? Have I sinned so grievously?” God provided no answers.

I lost hope and committed to take the advice of my family and many friends. I left Angelo and began plans for a single life after less than a year of marriage. He was beyond distraught and I feared for his health and his future. I could do nothing else because I was dying, in my heart and in fact.

Then, like a biblical miracle all changed. In the span of ten days Angelo received access to an endocrinologist - a diabetes specialist. He was accepted as a client of Richmond’s Daily Planet, a decades’ old effort providing health care and mental health treatment to the city’s impoverished. His specialist prescribed self-administered insulin. It had an immediate effect. His therapist prescribed Celexa. This was the miracle. Angelo’s mood cleared and his attacks disappeared. Once again he was the man I married and we reunited, grateful for what we were sure was a gift from God.

Today, six weeks later, Angelo is happy and calm and so am I. We celebrated the first of our anniversaries in love and today will join friends to mark the second.

*****

What about me? My physical health is very good. I joke that I am the healthiest man I know, “but for one thing.” This joke seems real and unreal simultaneously. My fight for health has been long and hard and my victory is my proudest achievement, more important than the position, prestige and “power” that marked my life before it disintegrated. I have decided to move through life in a mode of watchful waiting. I will mind my disease as I must but I will not allow it to rule me as I once did. My decision is the same as many of yours. Did I come to it sooner than you, or later?

                        There is much more to well-being than physical health. In the years I practiced law I represented many men and women charged with serious criminal offenses. Often in these cases I decided it was important to document my client’s mental state at the time of the offense and compare it to his state in the present. To do this I retained counselors and psychologists to offer professional opinions on point.

When I provided the required notice that my client’s mental state was at issue the prosecutor always involved her own professional to conduct an examination and usually to testify counter to my expert’s opinion. The common result was two experienced, degreed professionals offering diametrically opposing opinions on a question of fact.

This result perplexed and concerned me. How can the description of a matter of fact differ to this degree? Who is telling the truth? Is the other lying? I was no innocent. I did what was required to obtain the best outcome possible for my client. But this situation left a bad taste in my mouth.

I came to disrespect these professionals for this example of men and women testifying in what seemed a duplicitous manner. I decided I would never seek counsel myself from a professional counselor or psychologist. When I needed help I sought it from family, friends or colleagues who while untrained were reliably honest.

I have written of the effects on my mind caused by my disease. When I “came to” six weeks after my discharge from the hospital I entered consciousness depressed. I say this not because I was capable of a diagnosis. The situation was entirely unfamiliar to me. I simply knew that life had little meaning, that my relationship had become hollow and that I was lost and unanchored, just drifting from daylight to blessed sleep that removed my torment.

After a month of pain I decided I must seek help. I did not know who to call; that is, I did not know what kind of person could help. I knew little of the hierarchy of mental health practitioners. My experience was limited to one artificial circumstance. My pain was not artificial. It was the primary focus of my life.

I remembered a man I met in my work among Richmond’s LGBT people. Dr. Donnie as he was called was basically the psychologist for gay Richmond. Some people joked he had shrunk half the population of the bars. Despite this joke his reputation was solid, and a friend recommended him. I called him and scheduled an appointment.

As I entered his outer office the morning we were to meet my mind raced through unlettered  possibilities. How would a session run? Was there a couch? Was he going to mine my mind for every guilty sin? Could I respect myself when he was done? After a short time Dr. Donnie escorted me back to his office.

There was no couch and there was no desk, just tasteful decoration and two comfortable chairs, one facing the other. We sat and he began.

After running through insurance requirements we began the substance. He did not question. He asked me to explain why I was there.

I did, with a depth of detail that surprised me. I told him things I had discussed with no one, not because I did not want to but because I could not. I had no one with whom to share my thoughts. Speaking to Donnie felt right and the words erupted.

As did the tears. I found myself choking, gasping for breath as dry sobs racked me. I felt my soul was being ripped from my being as months of trapped fear and worry and hopelessness gushed forth into the air between us. Donnie offered comfort and had tissue handy. I was so glad he did.

When the session closed he said that while he normally saw new patients two weeks after the first session he wanted me to return in one. I had insurance then and so we made the date. I had a psychologist.

So began my journey through the worlds of psychoanalysis and later psychiatry. Donnie was Godsent. In the months following my start we killed the demons of my termination from my job and the end of my 24-year relationship. The moose in the room remained my disease. It was impossible to slay that and my counts were unsteady, prompting fear. Donnie consoled and counseled patience and faith. In time that lesson took hold.

In September 2013 I moved to New York City and was left without Donnie. In my year there I fired three counselors. I could not find one that fit me. None could live up to Donnie. I had learned enough to carry me through, to bull myself through as I had become used to when confronting a problem of any sort. Still the depression returned and at times it was hard. It was very hard indeed.

A year later I returned to Richmond and immediately messaged Donnie. We had three sessions but I had no insurance. To my deep regret I left him. Money was too tight.

Then late last month another miracle occurred. I was given access to a “charity counselor” through Virginia Commonwealth University Medical Center. Paula, a licensed clinical social worker and I met four times and we are coming to know one another. She is a vibrant woman, approximately my age and very different than Donnie but as good I think. Paula helped me persevere through Angelo’s troubles. I am blessed to find help just when I need it most.

I have become an evangelist of mental health counseling. When I speak to others of my life I include news of my progress there along with my progress containing my virus. I always receive expressions of interest, caring and support.

Many people are frightened to admit they need help to deal with problems of cognition, clarity, courage and consciousness. Mental illness suffers from an ancient stigma. People living with HIV who need mental health treatment face this stigma together with the newer, very sharp stigma that comes with our disease. This can be overwhelming and it deters many from seeking help, either for their mind or for their virus.

This fear must be overcome because as I have testified progress and health is attainable on both counts. Do not be ashamed to seek help. Do not fear what others may say. Your disease is just that and is just the same as many others that bring support from all in society. Claim your right to respect and accept the help you are offered. Your life will change if you do. Mine has and I cannot imagine what it would be without the help I received from Donnie and Paula and my psychiatrists, Drs. Daniel and Kogut.

My life has changed in uncounted ways since… . It will never be what it was and now I am glad it will not. I have received tools that will aid my travel down a path that is uncertain. Today I believe that no matter what befalls me the journey will continue for a long time, how long only God knows. I have reached an armistice with my body and mind. One will work to keep me strong, the other to keep me happy and loved. I believe both, together we three as one, will succeed.

God bless each of you as you travel your path. Peace, my friends, and strength.