#but now I feel bad bc who else wants to read that concept am I right. but then I remember that one post

[crownedwille]

.

[seven-stars-in-his-palm]

tfw someone writes the exact fic you wanted to write/read/spent months crafting but its smutty so therefore you cannot enjoy it *eye twitching emoji*

[horrorwebs]

i hate my best friend earlier i was like "im scared that this guy likes me bc he said something that i would only say to people who i like, but i recognize thats its a normal ass thing to say anyway and i rationally know he does not like me, but still, my brain decided to play with that concept and made me have a terrible nightmare the other night about it and now im subconsciously scared that he will like me ( with the underlying concept of "i am scared of men")" and shell go ohohioo what if youre projecting and its actually YOU that likes him. ????? bitch did you not hear the part about having a dream where he abused me or ...?sometimes being asexual is a nightmare nobody gets it

[kisseobie]

Hello🫣🫣 may I request p1harmony reaction to you wearing something short/revealing when going out clubbing? Thank youuu☺️☺️

p1harmony reacting to you wearing revealing clothes

pairings: ot6 p1harmony x reader

warnings: suggestive

tags: established relationships, clingy piwon, the boys are.. boys, clubbing, drinking (aged up for seobsoul), non idol au

a/n: it’s funny bc i was JUST reading an exact post like this a few minutes ago so anon if u were the same person who sent @ntoniac a request for the same thing i hope i can do it justice bc hers had me giggling and kicking my feet .. ANYWAYS! once again i apologize for slow updates i unfortunately am a student amidst a depressive episode soooooo it takes me a bit longer to write :( i hope u all can understand

𖧷 keeho

is honestly so cheesed. the type to insist to take pictures of you on his phone before you two actually make your way out, already mentally planning out which photo he’s gonna use in his next photo dump. is always super grabby with his hands, but its somehow amplified tonight. constantly has his arm lazily perched on your shoulder, and he often whispers cute little compliments into your ear every now and then. doesn’t really mind when people approach you to talk to you, doesn’t even necessarily care when said people make quick glances at your cleavage and the short length of your skirt. you two have an immense level of trust in your relationship, so he’s not one to feel insecure when people admire his girl. i can see kyo as the type to drag you onto the dance floor too, just so he can spin you around and feel your ass rub against the frontside of his jeans. eventually does end up posting those photos he took of you earlier on instagram, but not without captioning it something like “that’s all me”

𖧷 theo

doesn’t care about how short and tight your mini dress is, just wants it off of you by the end of the night. when you first skipped into the living room, beaming as you showed off your outfit of choice to him, theo had to hold himself back from kissing you silly. just like keeho, the simple concept of his girlfriend wearing a revealing outfit doesn’t make him super possessive, but he does make himself known to onlookers as your boyfriend in other ways, whether that be holding your drink and purse for you without you even asking him to, or sneaking up behind you to pepper kisses along your neck when your in the middle of conversation with someone. he makes his presence known but also wants to ensure that you have a carefree, enjoyable night without feeling like you have to tend to your boyfriend the entire time. taeyang definitely does admire your cleavage when he gets the chance too though, shamelessly stares at your chest and just giggles in reply when you scold him for doing so… loves to flirt with you even more than he usually does tbh

𖧷 jiung

is the overly possessive boyfriend that will whine and beg you to change. in reality, he doesn’t actually expect you to change your outfit, but lets you know (whilst pouting) that although you look hot and he wants to devour you, he also is very nervous about the unwanted attention you might get. it’s not a bad thing really! jiung just wants to be the only man that gets to see you in such a tiny top. although he might complain at first, you don’t miss the obvious blush on his face, silently signaling to you that he secretly loves when you dress this way. he’s not a very touchy person, but that doesn’t mean that he won’t interlock your fingers the entire night, even giving your hand gentle squeezes when you give someone else a little too much attention for his liking. glares at anyone who might whistle at you or even just look in your general vicinity for a bit too long. quickly shuts down offers himself from other guys that have the balls to ask you to dance. yeah, your not being let out of his sight looking that good. he’s just obsessed with you and wants you all to himself, sorry!

𖧷 intak

actually is the one who helps you pick out your outfit! tak himself wants to spend the night out showing off his beautiful girlfriend so he purposely convinces you to wear the shortest denim skirt you own, paired with an equally revealing spaghetti strap crop top. comes up behind you when your adjusting your outfit in the mirror to wrap his arms around your waist and perch his chin on your right shoulder, shooting down any concerns you might have about your outfit being kind of “whorish” (your words, not his!). is your personal hype man. you look good and he’s gonna make you feel good. loves to watch you on the dance floor from a nearby barstool, having the time of your life with your friends. after you’ve tired yourself out, you walk towards him to join him at the bar and he doesn’t miss the opportunity to eye your entire body from top to bottom and let out an obnoxious whistle. he’s sooooo sweet frat boy coded… definitely asks if he can take a body shot off of you whilst winking and you just roll your eyes in response. when he ends up drunk out of his mind and you have to drag him inside your shared cab, he’s mumbling the sweetest praises to you before he falls asleep against your shoulder

𖧷 soul

doesn’t really have much to say, but his body language speaks for itself. like most of piwon, his possessiveness is at a minimum, and like intak, he loves when you feel confident enough to dress this way. maybe it’s the introvert in him, but he lives vicariously through your bold outfit choices. loves to give you kisses on your exposed collarbone as he smoothens out a crease on your silk skirt. he also loves the way your stomach peeks out of your cropped top, and he holds onto your waist when kissing you to circle his thumbs on the area. stares at you lovingly the entire night, and doesn’t falter when your eyes meet every now and then. he comes up to you towards the end of the night and whispers into your ear about how he thinks you look so pretty and that he loves this outfit. you definitely end up seeing a more vocal side of him when the alcohol kicks in, and you swoon at how lovey dovey his words are. he just wants you to feel pretty and confident and he ends up succeeding in proving that to you! makes really bad attempts at flirting which ends up in the pair of you laughing your asses off. overall shota makes you feel beautiful and you make mental notes to bring him out wearing revealing clothes more often

𖧷 jongseob

djsjdkajdjsj i have to write my boyfriend as clingy as possible. he’s definitely the type of boyfriend to sit on the end of your bed, aimlessly scrolling on his phone and taking little peeks at you every now and then while your doing your makeup on your vanity. when you finish your makeup and go to your closet to change into the tiny little dress you’ve chosen for the evening, you’re honestly a bit nervous as to how your boyfriend will react to how bodycon and short the attire is, but you look and feel hot and that encourages you to step out in front of him. he notices your presence right away and looks up at your face, then chest, then thighs, and then turns off and tucks his phone into his back pocket and grabs at you to sit on his lap. gives you the sweetest kiss imaginable and pulls away to look at you with disbelief. asks you something along the lines of “how did i get so lucky?” and his hands run all over the material of your dress. his boldness is new but very welcome and he spends a good while complimenting you, asking you where you bought this dress, and playing with your hair with a smug grin on his face. gets soooo excited to take you out and wastes no time in calling an uber so he can show you off to the world. feels like he’s on cloud 9!

taglist: @woozixo @hearts4chanhee @kyokopi @astro-doll-the-star @soobiary @kyaaramello @t3ssamoodboard @angelcbf @idontknow-1s-world @vivienne-sim @elissasimp @imjustayapper @ihatewreckingballmains @theyluvsosa @seobing @www90kitsch @khfviq @barbiekh86t @bbyjjunie @taeyangi @fullsunstrawberry @jihnyah @intheemptymirror

© kisseobie, please do not repost my writing!

𖧷 ₊ ° .

[we-are-inevitable]

ok so i was talking to @to-be-a-dreamer @tarantulas4davey and @carpe-diem-since-1899 about racetrack things the other day and i just thought i would dump some of those thoughts here bc i am So invested in this weird little guy

anyway i just ,, i have a lot of feelings abt jack passing the newsies onto racer once he ages out.

i feel like. charlie is the next choice, but charlie in my eyes is the same age as- if not older than- jack; if jack hadn’t been the leader of the newsboys, it definitely would have been charlie, but jack is the one who took the reins. (this age hc is mostly because of west endsies ngl.) anyway! moving on

jack and charlie have always been a team. charlie is definitely jack’s second in terms of always being there, but race is his second in terms of business- it only makes sense for race to take over when jack is gone, and i just,, i love the concept of race either not really wanting that or not really knowing how to handle that. i think, at his core, race is trying to hold onto whatever youth he has left. its why he’s always cracking jokes, despite how jaded and angry he is under the surface. he pretends not to care or else he’ll crack under the pressure, and when he cracks, it’s angry. it’s mean. his bark is as bad as his bite. so he puts on this front- this childish, snarky, comedic relief front- and he’s terrified of the implications of Being The Leader because he feels like he’ll no longer have that front to hold onto or hide behind. and it takes him a long time, i think, to realize that he doesn’t have to be exactly who Jack was- he can lead the newsboys how he sees fit, he doesn’t need to be a carbon copy of jack, because they’re fundamentally so different. and i think that is just very fun

but more on the anger, because i think it’s an interesting take that is very much represented in West Endsies- as @roideny and @jack-kellys have pointed out before:

i’m interested in the other newsies- especially albert, finch, and maybe spot- seeing that sadness and strain and anger that seems to be taking it’s place as his dominant trait. yeah. bc i think,, i think race is angry at his core, like i said. angry at his position in all of this. angry that jack left, that charlie followed, that davey was never staying in the first place, that spot still thinks of him as a kid instead of a new leader, that other burrough leaders don’t take him seriously because they know him as the jokester. angry that these kids are his kids now, and angry that his kids are still starving, still walking holes in their shoes, still shivering at night and still dying of sickness when the cold weather hits too hard. i want this race to be fucking pissed and i want everyone else to be caught off guard by it.

because, let’s be real, jack wasn’t the roughest leader. he was strong, and dependable, and not afraid to put kids in their place, but he’s still nurturing and parental. after years of being used to that, i think the newsies would struggle with Race for a while, especially as race tries to figure out his leadership style, and i think a lot of that would manifest in this anger that has been bubbling up under the surface for ages- the anger he never lets anyone see because he doesn’t want that.

race has spent anywhere from 5 to 10 years- depending on when you headcanon him to join the newsies- being the funny guy, the clown, the joker; if he’s going to earn respect, he’s going to have to take it from a few kids. lashing out and being brash- all for the sake of keeping everyone safe, of course- but he’s such a different leader than jack, and i think it would be SO fun to explore that more in post-canon works.

i feel like this post is a little disjointed and i may not be explaining things correctly, plus i haven’t actually seen west endsies yet! a lot of this is based on convos with the besties and i am just having brainrot. besties, feel free to jump in with any additions, and anyone reading this: feel free to send asks or talk in the tags <33

[mouseratz]

tagging game! tagged by @yarboyandy

-three ships

uhhhh. Off the top of my head. 1.lisacreature duh. the whole movie. they're not a healthy relationship but like they're fine they just destroy everything around them. i lurv it . also of fucking course I wanted a zombie boyfriend as a teenager. I won't lie to any of you

2. danbert bc gay people in my phone. classic case of toxic yaoi. so toxic I've been thinking about them for years. if only reanimator had like been gay on purpose we could've had it all

3. also based off of "what's in my camera roll". the evil scientists from mst3k are gay also. Dr Forrester and tvs frank.... is this even disputed. I don't care. I've known this since I was a child. "they're gay married and kill each other in looney tunes esque situations daily" feels like part of the character concepts.

-first ship

Inuyasha x Kagome, most likely. it's like one of the first obsessions I can remember where a show had like, a romantic throughline I cared about at all. although, to be fair, I was still mostly into the comedy and supernatural stuff, and this was Very Young.

-last song I listened to

I stumbled upon the tiny desk concert performance and well. I am not immune to popular things. chappell roan is pretty awesome. I love the videos and performances, but the pop music is also really solid, and I find myself enjoying it way more than expected. this songs good but I haven't listened to it a lot yet....my first time actually

-currently reading

Perry Mason and the Glamorous Ghost. I'm only like a chapter in. idk it was an impulse buy on my birthday because the cover was awesome. also pictured: my copy of Frankenstein. I read that in October. loved it

-currently watching

uhmmmm. still rewatching always sunny in Philadelphia. forever. watched a couple episodes of space ghost coast to coast earlier. I still want to keep watching twin peaks the return but I haven't because. idk. its hard to be me....

-relationship status

very incredibly single. it is very hard to date when u can't drive where I live. I mean it's hard in any circumstance but whatever shots I had are dust. would love to date sometime in my life possibly. I have been feeling that way for um. like four years now. so. we will see how that goes.

-current obsessions

Lisa Frankenstein, obvs.....my hobbies and such though? kind of in a slump. I've been like.....learning how to apply makeup for once for fun. I'm still very bad at it but idgaf it is what it is what's always made me uncomfortable about it was that it never "looked right" and I didn't want to be judged. instead of just treating it like a for fun thing. ie I want Colors On My Face I don't even cover up my acne atp. oh and the gender thing. like if I didn't do the makeup right I was being bad at being a girl. and now I do not have to worry about that at all.

-currently craving

like, food? um. I hope the brownies I made tonight taste good in the morning. I let them cool overnight so idk how they taste yet.

-favorite color

green, but I'm a big fan of what pink and black (I KNOW it's not a 'real color' IDC) and some shades of blue and yellow and orange have going on. I just like colors lmao

-tagging

hiiii I won't mind if you don't do it this is just a little shout-out okay :) @mahkari @jokeryuri @homokommari @mushroom-in-space

also anypony else who wants to do it can.....I won't be mad

[harrysrealgf]

NAIVE

You and harry broke up and a part of you can help but want him to show up at your door and apologize.

Fratrry¡reader

This is the good ending to this short thing, im gonna make a bad one bc I like this concept

———

“Well if you don’t like it, then maybe we should just break up!” Harry yelled. This was an argument, the biggest argument you guys have ever had. All over how you didn’t want him to flirt with so many girls.

You paused for a second. You couldn’t believe what he said to you. “Maybe we should.” You finally said. You didn’t want to obviously. You love him, but maybe it’s for the best.

He was shocked you agreed.

“Great. Then we’re broken up.” He loved you, of course he did! He was just a flirty guy, and if you weren’t okay with that then maybe it just wasn’t meant to be.

Harry is a naive boy. He refuses to change or apologize about anything.

“I guess so.” You walked to the door, putting your shoes on.

“Where are you going?” He watched you.

“What? You broke up with me Harry. Do you just expect me to sit here in your house?” You asked. You were being sarcastic, but also serious.

“Well no, but..”

“No. I need to my house. I cannot do this right now.” You held tears in.

You didn’t even let him talk and you walked out. It was dark and rainy. You hated driving in the rain, but it was comforting.

When you got home you just ran to your room and cried. 3 years with Harry obviously meant nothing to him. He broke up with you so quick. He’s always been ignorant, but the one time you speak up about something that bothers you in the relationship, this happens.

He will never change, nor apologize to you. And you just need to accept that now.

You threw your headphones on and listened to music, that’s how you cope.

The past week has been a mess. You were late to work 3 times this week. You stayed up all night reading old texts where he was such a sweetheart.

But now it’s no contact.

You hoped he was come to your front door with flowers, and a real apology. Not just a lousy ‘I’m sorry.’

None of this was your fault and you knew it.

————

It’s been 2 weeks since the breakup.

It was another rainy day, 7PM. And your doorbell rang. You threw your hair up and went to answer the door, and you were surprised to see who it was.

Harry.

“Hi..” he gave you that look. That stupid look. The look he gave you when he was wrong and he knew it.

“Hi.”

“I’m sorry.” He looked down and picked at the skin at the side of his nails.

“That’s it?” You ask as he was silent for a little after that.

“No. I’m sorry y/n. I’m bad at apologies. I know I am, I don’t do it a lot but fuck, I can’t live without you. You’re the love of my life and I.. fuck I don’t know how to say it.” He paused. “These last two weeks have been absolute hell. Everything I see reminds me of you and well.. us. I know I fucked up, I know I’m too flirty sometimes and I try and stop but I just get carried away..”

“Your not obligated to say anything to any other girl Harry. And you were right. If I don’t like it then we should break up. And we did. You completely left me behind the one time I speak up about something. I don’t know what else you want from me.” You bit your lip.

“I want you! It’s not what I wanted to leave you behind. Fuck I… I didn’t even want to break up with you in the first place.” He admitted.

“…then why did you?” You spoke quietly.

“I was just scared! Your the only girl I’ve ever really loved and… every move I make it’s just another mistake. I should’ve never said anything to that girl and I know how you feel and I don’t know what is wrong with me. Your my girl and I want to keep it that way. I love you y/n.” He spit it all out like he couldn’t stop talking. “I love you and I wont let anything in this world keep us apart anymore. But I’m losing myself and I don’t want to lose you too. If there was something I could do to take back what I said.. I would do it in a heartbeat.” He took a deep breath.

“I can’t control myself without you. I can feel your touch even when your far away from me.”

Your mind was hazy. You couldn’t think correctly.

“Please say something.” He was teary eyed at this point. “I’m so dumb I should’ve told you all of this before you even left my house.”

“Come inside, your getting soaked.” You finally spoke.

He smiled warmly and walked inside.

“I brought something too…” he pulled a rello and a baggie of weed.

“You know me too well.” You sniffled, smiled softly and whispered a quiet ‘come here’ and walked to your porch

You sat on your rolling area and he sat beside you. He handed you the bag and rello and you started rolling.

————

You guys were laughing up a storm after smoking. High out of your minds, your thoughts started to come out.

“I didn’t want to break up either by the way.” You say taking a bit of the second blunt in your fingers.

“I figured.” You gave him a look.

“What does that mean?” You giggled.

“Cmon y/n. I know you. If you wanted to break up you woulda done it a while ago.” You shrugged while passing him the blunt.

“Your not wrong.” You took a drink of your water, “even when we were strictly only friends, everyone but you saw how in love I was with you.” This was all knew to him.

“How long have you liked me?”

“Maybe since like.. senior year of high school.” His mouth dropped open.

“Are you serious?” You nodded.

“Well I’ve liked you since like… freshman year.”

“Of college?” He shook his head.

“High school.” You mouth flew open and your eyes were wide open.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He shrugged.

“We had such a good friendship. I didn’t want to ruin it.. butttt… now I know your my soulmate I don’t need to worry about that anymore.” You blushed.

“Sooo… you wanna be my girlfriend again?” He asked.

“Hm I dunno… are you gonna be my boyfriend?” You tease.

“Of course.” He kissed you.

You pulled away from the kiss. “Wait a minute. You’ve liked me for 8 years?” He laughed.

“Love is love what can I say?”

[sehtoast]

Writer Tag

Thanks for the tag @venus-haze <3

How many works do you have on AO3? 29

What's your total AO3 word count? 230k

What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Tender Threads

Satisfy Me

One Big Wet Spot

Say Please

The Hand That Feeds

(All Homelander fics) ^

Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? Most of the time, but lately I haven't had the energy or the time. My social battery is pretty fucked, but I do read every single one of them and love them

What's the fic you've written with the angstiest ending? So it's technically unpublished, but it basically ends with Ben (my oc) sentencing himself to die pretty painfully alongside Homelander with that thing that got revealed in Gen V. If you know you know

What’s the fic you've written with the happiest ending? Honestly, Envy.

Do you write crossovers? I've done an AU crossover for the same fandom, but not really

Have you ever received hate on a fic? Most of the hate I get is in my tumblr inbox. I haven't really done/said anything about it bc no one really wants to see or hear about it tbh, but I've gotten a fair amount of shit for pairing homie with a guy and then also more for pairing him with a trans guy. I think the only ao3 hate i ever got was barely even hate, more like someone bitching that my tender threads formatting wasn't to their liking bc it's Y/n formatted

Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Yessir yessir. Honestly just whatever i'm vibin with

Have you ever had a fic stolen? not that i'm aware although i don't think i've written anything steal-worthy

Have you ever had a fic translated? no, but @anon-nee has been my personal jesus christ in helping me make sure my english to german translations in tender threads has been accurate. love you nonnums <3

Have you ever co-written a fic before? technically no, but @homelanderbutbig did a collab with me and made this to pair with a fic i wrote, which i feel like is co-creation so i'm gonna say yes anyway. love you HBB <3

What's your all-time favorite ship? honestly i don't really have one, unless i can count my ocxcanon ship in which case it's benlander

What's a WIP that you want to finish but don't think you ever will? i have a depowered homelander fic where ben answers the door one day and ryan, now in his late teens, is there to finally see homie again after all those years went by. i adore the concept but i'm like NEVER in the mindset i need to actually write something like that

What are your writing strengths? yall got strengths?

What are your writing weaknesses? all of them

What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? i think it's fine so long as there's clarification shortly after for the readers who may not understand, and also that you've somehow gotten it cross checked by someone who actually speaks the langauge so ensure you're not just saying some wild shit. but ultimately do whatever makes you happy idk bro i don't make the rules

What was the first fandom you wrote for? Prometheus! i was am down so bad for david omg

What's a fandom/ship you haven't written for yet but want to? astarion/tav. i wanna write something sooooo bad but i just can't get in the headspace for it

What's your favorite fic you've written? probably satisfy me because the role swap was incredibly fun and it's REALLY fucking cool to unbind homelander from his own behavioral patterns and manifest them into a reader's concept. like, of everything i've written, i could most clearly imagine everything that happened in that fic and i'd find myself grinning like a sick fuck while writing about literally eviscerating a man's chest cavity lmao

No pressure tags: @blindmagdalena @hom3landr @irenadel @slasher-smasher and anyone else who wants to participate

[cheolhub]

Talk about your moots; what do you like most about them (could be a paragraph or a single sentence, spread the love!!)

p sure i did this just a few days ago but everyone knows i adore my moots so i dont mind doing it again :)

it’s kinda long! (took me a literal hour and a half to write) and i tried to get everyone i talk to on a tri-weekly basis at least 😅

@ncteez i know you said to pick what i like most abt my moots, but i love everything about hon from the way she looks (she’s literally the most gorgeous person ever— she still owes me a selfie now that im thinking abt it) right down to her core. 🥹 the only mark stan who has ever walked the planet actually,,, i love hearing about her sex dreams and i love the way that she gives the best advice bc she only wants the best for me and how genuine she is. I LOVE HER & she makes me a better person every day, seriously ⭐️ i <3 my wife

@jeonghantis 🩵 there are about a million and three things that i can write for keir but i think the thing i love most about them is that… i can just be sar with them, i never have to worry about being judged for the things i like bc 9 times out of 10, keir feels the same way. like who else am i gonna talk about [redacted] with chan with ??? or [ censored beeping for 10 minutes straight ] with sangyeon ?? my jeonghannie, my bff, my ride or die <3 (they also hate everyone that i hate and watch my instagram lives even tho im super annoying which means i am going to die for them)

@onlyseokmins literally just love elv’s personality. she has this infectious positivity and it makes me so happy to be alive like dhahdh,,, every time i see her on the dash reblogging the silliest things or cute pics or even talking to other people, it makes me smile so hard like idk she’s so bright PLUS she’s resident dk lover on tumblr like there is no one else. tumblr user onlyseokmins is quite literally the only dk stan alive

@lovelyhan ok two things i love the most — one: kai’s writing will always get me out of a reading slump. i re-read their fics an ungodly amount of times, like i actually need to be blocked by them ( i definitely didn’t re-read inflection point again TODAY on my lunch break, nope! i didn’t! 😂……) TWO: kai is literally so sweet and funny and we don’t really talk much, but from what i know, they’re a really great person and anyone would be lucky to have them as a moot! ^^

@agustdiv1ne ash and i are actually moving to alaska and we’re gonna be neighbors /srs,,, srsly tho, i told her this already, but she’s an amazing listener and she puts up with my shitty texting and i seriously cant appreciate that more 😢 she’s so wonderful and lovely and my favorite yoongi stan to ever exist and i will shield her from the heat. don’t worry, ash, 𝖎 𝖜𝖎𝖑𝖑 𝖕𝖗𝖔𝖙𝖊𝖈𝖙 𝖞𝖔𝖚.

@soonigiri MELODY <333 the soonyoung to my cheol!! she’s also someone i enjoy seeing on my dash sm!! she’s literally an angel and it’s so endearing to see her in her engene era. like i look forward to seeing jungwon on my dash every day /srs — OKAY ACTUALLY, ik im an awkward freak but i would love to talk to you more bc i think we have a lot in common T-T

@etherealyoungk SKYE i know we interact like every 3 weeks but each of them do really mean a lot to me <33 i think she’s really kind-hearted and i get really happy when i see her jn my inbox from time to time!! it’s like a nice little surprise which i love 🥹💝 it’s like finding a rice krispie at the bottom of my lunch box (if you don’t know the feeling, think immense joy)

@rubyreduji JJ THE COOLEST GUY EVER. he’s such a joy to talk to and i love that he’s lowkey my hypeman. every time i run a concept or idea by him, he makes me feel really good about it and i adore that. he’s so supportive i love him and i need to hug him so bad actually 🥹 (i give good bear hugs jj, pls let me hug u) also jj doesnt care that im a weirdo awkward freak and i have to commend him for that too ☺️

@toruro mikalicious always know what to say which is what i love the absolute most abt them now. when im in a shit mood, she knows exactly how to make me feel better and always helps me take my mind off of it. she’s so cute and wonderful inside and out and i really am so eternally grateful to have her as a mutual and a friend <33 also, mika, this is my formal apology for being the world’s worst texter 😅

@gyuswhore EM THE COOLEST PERSON EVER. i love her so much actually. she and i just started talking and i have to say, she is just so,,,, amazing? idk, i dont have the words for it. she was so kind to me when reading my wonu fic and she just read over my new cheol wip and she has given me such great feedback and im so appreciative of her!! + sending pics is lowkey my love language and she lets me send her the most random shit (my pc collection, my room, etc.) i love her 💝

@hwanghyunjinenthusiast MY FAV JOKSTER dbehdh talking to rj is seriously a breath of fresh air lol I LOVE her humor and she understands my humor. ALSO….. something about rj’s writing also does something to me… like i remember i was super depressed while i had strep and on a brief tumblr hiatus and i came onto the app for just a second and saw that she’d posted … mean dom!chan… i remember reading it and crying bc she GETS IT. no one gets me like rj (i forgot to rb now that im thinking abt it but im gonna get on that) my fave dinonara <3

@heesbaby TUMBLR USER HEESBABY SINGLE HANDEDLY GOT ME BACK INTO ENHYPEN. i never thought id see the day, but bc of her smau’s and writing, i’m back in my engene era… i love how much of an angel cinna is like,,, we talk every once in awhile but she makes me the happiest girl ever when she replies to my asks or i find her in my inbox. i’ll actually fight jay for cinna

@hyuk4ngel RESIDENT MINGYU STAN,, fay has been here with me since what feels like the fucking beginning and i seriously can’t thank her enough. she’s really encouraging and amazing and she has the best ideas ever. i swear half of my writing discography is thanks to her (just my mingyu fics which is lowekey half my writing discography begsgs) she also is always checking in and i just love her for that and many other things 🥹

@baeksbyunny / @baekhyunnybyun (you’ll have to remind me which acct im supposed to tag) BEX MY BELOVED!!! THE LOVE I HAVE FOR HER IS SERIOUSLY INDESCRIBABLE!!! she’s the nicest person to me. like i’ll never forget when i was anxious before my txt concert and she was so reassuring like i felt a weight lift off my shoulders. INSTANT (sar)otonin boost every time we talk, idk what it is. probably the fact that she has the most comforting presence. i love her, you honor. i rest my case.

@majestyjun mills was like the first moot i’d ever talked to,,, but i remember i was so intimidated the first time we did bc millie is literally so fucking cool like,,, i have always thought this and when she said //I// was cool and i was genuinely so honored like…. idk >< ALSO HER WRITING IS SOHSHSBS OUT OF THIS WORLD … the concepts the description,,, she’s a genius!!!

@sunnylovespickles even tho we just became moots, i thought it was really sweet that she dropped off pics of pink!cheol for me 🥹 my day was really bad and that brightened it so much <33 i hope to have more interactions with her in the future bc she seems so nice!!

[heleneplays]

shaking sobbing crying over SOOOO many good demos ive just had the pleasure of reading and like. AUTHORS PLS KNOW IM GOING STUPID FERAL OVER YOUR WORKS AAAAAAAA

the wars we wage by mah_sanogo (cog forum) - when I was browsing the dashingdon page I got intrigued by the summary (lmao i am currently looking for more isekai IFs >< if yall have a rec aside kingdoms & empires my inbox is OPEN <3) and while technical wise there's still a lot to correct (esp typos), the idea is VERY solid + as a fellow fan of Youjo Senki, i am SO thrilled to play, getting into a very oblivious MC and hopefully reach my goals. ALSO GOD????? CAN I FIGHT & ROMANCE GOD???? i wish 2 know bc i KNOW we can fight (technically) and im 👉🏻👈🏻

Before we are Ghosts by @anjiefiction - HELP HELP HELPPPPPPPPPPP FROM CRACK I IMMEDIATE GO TO SHAKING SOBBING THROWING UP— author i am. *clenches my fist* SO in love with this heartbreaking concept and i'm literally honest to God sobbing into my teddy bear wishing I could hug MC rn. and everyone else honestly, they need all the hugs SO bad 😭😭😭 Anyways to anyone who wants to plays this game, fucking get your tissues ready bc you'll sob with the pain and angst and. the tenderness that's still abt to come 🥺🥺🥺

Vendetta by @vendetta-if - IT'S BEEN SOOOOO LONG since i actually played through the demo, and replaying it now......... GETTING BACK INTO MY VILLAIN ERA HEE HEE HEE <3

Sinners by @sinners-if - if villain bad why hot??? <- literally the only thought in my mind EVER!!! anyway, reading the update to ch 2 on itch.io was SO unexpected, i remember only reading it on dashingdon and then. yeah. twine has never looked so good. ANYWAYS WE'RE COMING ALONG SOOOO NICELY <3 and i cannot WAIT to see what happens next!!!!!!! (also sidenote i am reading allnthe drabbles available and im. 🤡🚩over here.)

The Price of Emeralds by @thournewrites - currently scream laughing @ my MC in this one bc WOW bestie your shit out of luck!!!!!! and KDHDJDKDK HELP HELPPPPP not me getting clowned on by the og ro :((( welp! wishing them a very yess get u in that funky crew and get that money bby girl <3

Replica: between universes by @replicabetweenblogs - i see multiverse and i immediately think abt helene-verse and DEAR GOD this wip!!!!! im biting myself soooo bad rn im being absolutely INSANE abt the whole thing!!!!!!!!!! im 7 ways enamored with everyone but most especially to the bestest little sister i am going to love and cherish now and forever 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

The Eye of Eikshal by atlas7 (CoG forum) - :3c :3c :3c intrigue??? WITH A BUNCH OF FOUND FAMILY BESTIES??????? oh boy, not to mention a benefactor turned adoptive father who's wish is for the kids to actually be happy???? man. investing rn on it <3

Through Broken Lenses by Interestedparty (CoG forum) - ok on a more serious note, this story was actually one of the first ever wips i've read in dashingdon and rereading it today had me. well. feeling a lot of 😔😔😔 anyways Vi, you're so fucking mecore and much as MC is traumatized in this one, all I can say is that I she can't help but watch you :)

I actually have several more tabs left to go through but it's literally 2 am and I have been writing this on my phone since 5 pm yesterday so. yeet!!!

[bropunzeling]

fic author Never Have I Ever brady/quinn?

oh gosh do i want to write a fic for them so bad. i am a bit intimidated just bc i have mutuals who are Hughes Bros Scholars and i am not a scholar, merely auditing the classes as it were, but like. they're besties! they had to do a stupid odd couple video for the draft! the way quinn looked at brady at his wedding gets me!!!!!!!! and while i have some concepts that i am v seriously batting around (ballet quinn you are IN THE QUEUE) i also have some where idk if i will ever get to it, and one of the latter is the one where brady gets divorced.

the thing is, no one ever gets married expecting to get divorced, and brady certainly did not get married expecting to get divorced. two years ago, he would've said they were happy and he wouldn't have been lying; a year ago, he would've said they were happy and it would've been - not the truth, exactly, but not a lie, either. they were happy, most of the time. happy enough.

and then they weren't happy. these things happen, apparently. you can try your hardest, give 110%, and it still won't be what the other person needs. what they thought life would be like and what you did aren't lining up, can't line up. hard to stay married after that.

they finalize the paperwork during brady's bye week. when he signs on the line, brady can't help feeling like he's fallen short, somehow.

the sens do okay. make the playoffs, which has happened more frequently than it hasn't in the past four years; lose in the first round, which is - also pretty typical. brady hangs out with his siblings for a few weeks, hits the golf courses with dad, tries to keep his mind off his season.

mom sometimes mentions his ex in passing, but only when she thinks brady can't hear her. brady tries not to be too upset about it.

midway through the summer, brady goes to michigan. he didn't go to the lake that much when he was younger - always spending time with his family, and then with his girlfriend, and then it was his wife, and well - there wasn't time. but this summer, he's at loose ends, and he accepts quinn's invitation gratefully.

the best thing about it is quinn is the only one who isn't treating brady like he's different, like something happened. which, yes, a lot of things happened, but that doesn't mean brady wants to think about it. brady wants to try out jetskiing, brady wants to beat quinn and then jack and then trevor at beer pong. brady wants to help quinn buy groceries and put on a party. brady wants to do circuits and watch quinn's t-shirt cling to his back. brady wants to sit on the dock and talk about nothing, the way they used to all the time as teenagers.

about a week in, brady realizes that he doesn't just want to sit on the dock with quinn. he wants to put his hand on the small of quinn's back. he wants to rub a knuckle along the nape of quinn's neck, to see if quinn will flinch, or shiver. he wants to - does, not on purpose, but he does - reach out and tug at quinn's hair. longer now. it falls in his eyes. he wants to kiss quinn, and one night, he does.

for a millisecond, quinn kisses back, and it's up there for one of the best things that's ever happened to brady.

then quinn pulls back, eyes flat and revealing nothing. when brady tries again, quinn puts a hand between their chests. when brady asks why - quinn liked it, quinn wants it, he kissed back - quinn stares at the splintery wood of the dock and says, you don't get to just - decide you want to kiss me because you're sad, or you - you don't get to. not when i -

quinn doesn't say anything else, but he doesn't have to. brady knows, now. he can read it all over quinn's face.

[mirrortouchedsea]

hello >:) i was curious about the ghost rinne idea you mentioned a while ago... if you aren't vibing with those thoughts anymore though, i'm still curious about the ink blood sister scribe au, and also the apocalypse au (especially the kaname and tatsumi side. what is Happening there)

okay so this is going to be a long one i think so it's going under the read more. also sorry everyone no wip wednesday today you get whatever this is going to be instead.

Ghost Rinne

So if you've talked to me like. At all you know i just adoreeeeeee ghosts and ghost stories they're my favorite okay so obviously ghost Rinne is such a concept to me. I've talked about him being stuck trying to protect Niki, keep him from making whatever mistakes that originally led to their mutual deaths (I'm still kinda in between what I want that to be but it's probably just gonna be a car accident while they're doing something idol related.). It's like an evil fucked up time loop that lasts years and Rinne is doomed to die in every universe and if he isn't then Niki dies and neither of these are exactly great outcomes. His ghost haunts Niki before he even meets him and maybe if he meets ghost Rinne he'll avoid becoming an idol but he'll never meet the Rinne in this loop. It's convoluted and maybe not really a ghost story but also i need to gnaw on them so so bad.

2. Ink Blood Sister Scribe AU

So since I finished the book since I wrote the original drabble I knowwwwwww that other scribes weren't really a thing until one of the MCs shows up but listen we're not going for super duper canon to the book here Rinne is a scribe his blood can make magic and he had to run away from his hometown to protect them (though they did tell him what he could do and it's something that used to be common in their bloodline as leaders of the village that died out one day for unknown reasons that r revealed in the book.) He ends up with Niki per usual and they end up on the run after the first year where Rinne realizes someone is watching them and trying to chase them down. They spend a year somewhere and then leave on a specific day and go somewhere else. I think when the events of the book end where everything is undone and scribes can actually be born again it takes a while for him to find out from his family and village because suddenly Hiiro can do it too and Rinne slowly loses the feeling that people are watching him. He's been using his magic to write spells to help people pretty much the whole time and Niki helped with the herbal blends to mix into the ink to make the spells more potent so they're still practically inseparable but now they don't have to worry about someone finding them anymore and now Rinne is dying from blood loss since there's nothing stopping him from making spells for everyone to help them out /j. HiMERU and Kohaku definitely fit in here somewhere I think they're mailing spells back to them during the initial period of being on the run all the time to help out with x y z job they have. Probably weird assassin stuff who knows.

3. Tatsukanas in the Post Apocalypse AU

So wrt the fic I posted back in January and I know I told u this on discord already but for everyone else reading here the plan was bc I am a slut for fantasy I did have to include a little bit in this with Tattsun but. After the initial encounter with Tatsumi and Kaname decides to stay with him, Kaname gets bitten and Tatsumi is able to heal him with some magic in the church but it ties Kaname to the church specifically so if he leaves then the disease just. speeds up and will kill him. So Kaname is effectively church bound and can't leave but he's okay for now? At least if his brother is looking for him there's way less possibility that they'll miss each other by going through the same place at slightly different times but oops!! His brother is going to blame Tatsumi for everything that happened to Kaname (even if Kaname insists that's not the case and he would be so much worse off if Tatsumi hadn't taken him in.). The other Alkaloid members are also staying in the church and while Kaname is definitely a lot for any of them to deal with, Mayoi ends up spending the most time with him as protector when the others are out getting food/supplies/etc. I personally think Kaname would end up learning how to sew and cook and such, things he can do in the church that are still useful to everyone else but that's neither here nor there.

[pondscummy]

so me and roommate L talked on Sunday and I finally like aired some of my grievances and was like hey you really hurt me w how you treated me during my recovery and I realized I actually really don't feel like I can safely communicate with you and I haven't felt like I could for a very long time. and they did apologize and we decided to just be polite roommates and not friends at all and that's a big relief honestly bc now I'm not carrying around this tension the way I was before bc I know there's not expectation from either side but like. it's also freed me up mentally where I'm not thinking about all the immediate stuff anymore and instead I'm like remembering various random things that pissed me off but weren't big enough to focus on before lmao

the one I'm stuck on rn is how insistent they are that I'm on the spectrum. idk they do a lot of explaining myself to me that makes me like. bro shut Up you don't know what my lived experience is like lol you have no concept of anything. which. for context I have a dx and I thought I was on the spectrum for years and years but weirdly enough going to therapy and working through my ptsd made a lot of those symptoms just.... start vanishing. and one of my friends had been undiagnosed for the same reason so it got me thinking about it and talking to my therapist at the time and like. ptsd can present rly similarly. like I was neglected and abused as a child and I literally did not learn social skills, and I was very fearful of other people. as I like worked through the stuff that had instilled that in me and found my stride w stepping out of my comfort zone and getting comfortable being uncomfortable I really don't find it particularly hard to talk to people. I retook the RAADS and I got that I have tendencies but am not anywhere near diagnostic level. I'm literally moving states bc I find the idea of being in a new place and starting from scratch socially rly exciting and I want to like go out to events on my own and meet people both through apps and more organically and I want to get to be in the office with my coworkers like. obv there's more to a dx than just social anxiety but the things that my dx was primarily based in (social anxiety, need for stability/routine, aversion to connection, even sensory issues) are so easily linked back to trauma for me and like. being on the spectrum doesn't go away w therapy?? also I've found it harder and harder to befriend other people on the spectrum; I find I have less in common as time goes on and that my communication style is more focused on like small talk and less directness etc. and I don't tend to get special interests at all anymore like I find it a little difficult to discuss interests w people for long periods of time.

anyway idk my experiences just make me think that it was an incorrect dx but a rly understandable one. I'll probably always have tendencies and get along pretty well w others who do or who are on the spectrum but like I just don't think that I am. and whenever I tried to talk about this with them they'd shut it down and be like um I'm pretty sure you are lmao. and when we talked Sunday I made a comment about making some assumptions about their facial expressions at one point and they were like well we're both on the spectrum so. and I was like my guy I can read facial expressions just fine. if you're saying I can't read yours accurately bc You're on the spectrum then fine. sure. I actually think it's bc you're always so fucking stoned that every muscle in your face is dangling from the frame, personally, but like. i don't have this probably of misreading anyone else dude. like ffs stop armchair diagnosing me and acting like bc you said it then it's law. UGHHHHHHHHHGGGHHHH. it would be one thing if I thought they were saying this stuff bc they think I'm distancing myself out of internalized ableism or something. but it really seems more like they bring it up only to tell me how bad I am at things. which like I'm sorry lmao but. if I'm not giving this vibe to anyone else and I'm not displaying symptoms predominantly in my day to day life and if they're rly seeming to be correlated to my ptsd, maybe you're literally just triggering for me to be around. asshat

[echthr0s]

I am disappointed about how this BG3 experiment turned out but I cannot be too disappointed because I also learned some things in the process, namely about what makes games "work" for me and the difference between appreciating something's artistic value and enjoying the experience of it. cut for length

I don't enjoy Larian games. which feels bad to say, because I think Larian games are beautiful and intricate and full of amazing worldbuilding. why would I not enjoy that? it's very simple -- they are mechanically dense in a way that I find very unrewarding. and that feels bad to say, because the way people tend to interpret "this doesn't work for me" is as "this is bad and shouldn't exist", and sometimes I internalise that. but I know damn well that's not what I'm saying. what I am saying is that what makes games enjoyable for me is different than what it is for the people who enjoy Larian games, which is a perfectly neutral concept

I had to compare how I feel when playing the games I love to how I felt when I was playing BG3. Can Calah pointed out that he has never heard so many frustrated noises per minute from me while playing a game that didn't end up in me immediately dropping the game, and that's a good point. at one point I was literally in tears. this is not because the game is difficult to me. it is, in a way, but it's not like Bloodborne where I literally couldn't get past the first mob of enemies, lol. that didn't make me feel bad, I knew I wasn't gonna get through that game, I just wanted to try it anyway and laugh at how bad I was at it. what BG3 is to me is taxing.

here's an example: I'm familiar with isometric RPGs and especially their movement set. but BG3 is like... some hybrid of isometric and straight 3D, and I constantly want to move the camera down behind my character and use WASD for movement, expecting the camera to circle around the environment in a 3D fashion when I move my mouse. and this is a minor peeve -- not even a peeve, more like a "the way this game looks to me and the way this game is meant to be played are at odds, apparently" -- but it sets a baseline level of minor irritation. like a lil IRL debuff. so then when I hit something else that is irritating (like gnarly turn-based combat scenarios or having to reload a bunch of times trying to get past one NPC without activating a gnarly turn-based combat scenario), I'm already irritated, so I have less mental resources to deal with this new thing. I did not immediately recognise this was happening, but it's definitely the main roadblock for me

last night I went to do some research to see if I could figure out ways to make my Act I experience a little less taxing. I love learning tips and tricks about games I play, or finding out how the game works behind the scenes, stuff like that. when I look up stuff about ESO or FFXIV or Mass Effect or whatever, I feel curious and excited to try out whatever new thing I learn. (this is why I don't read the ESO subreddit at night, because then I learn something and I immediately want to boot up the game and try it out and I can't bc I'm supposed to be going to sleep and I get mad LOL) but I didn't feel that way at all last night. I just felt... tired. the curiosity and excitement did not magically appear. because ultimately this is just not a game I can play. not right now, at least. and yes, this upsets me, because I wanted to play it. but enjoyment cannot be forced and it's not fair to myself to go "look at all these other people having a great time, why can't you be more like them?" (talk about a line straight out of the Bad Parenting Playbook lmaooo)

yes, I would have loved to find out what it's like to be half-illithid, I would have loved to fall in love with Wyll, I would have loved to learn more about Faerûn and the various cultures and wow, would I have loved to see the Underdark, finally! I won't be meeting that drider guy I kept seeing gifs of and that makes me sad! but "the journey is the important thing" is never more true than when it comes to video games -- if I do not enjoy the minute-to-minute gameplay, if the journey itself is not inspiring joy in me, then it won't matter if I somehow push myself long enough to get to those moments. because I will be so stressed and tired and annoyed by the time I get there that I won't even enjoy the victory. so then is it really worth it?

the insight I've gained about myself as a gamer from failing to become a BG3 player is, however, quite worth it, I think

[citadelofmythoughts]

Chapter 2 are and left no crumbs and while I cried several times I’m not ready to deep dive in that yet so let’s talk about Blake!! And how we see who she was before Adam. She’s silly and sweet and kind and helpful and Loves books and fairytales. And we see her reading in early volumes but I’m willing to bet she never had someone to excitedly talk to about them back when she was more free of spirit. She’s coming into her own but also it feels like she’s getting Back to who she was when she was a kid and freedom and equality were an easier concept to hope for. When she believes more. Not to say her story is over by any means but watching her take charge in a way that’s like “nice but bossy leader of a group project” bc she thinks they need to stick to the story Exactly. Which isn’t a bad thing I like seeing how each of them are handling this and Blake wanting to be Good and Better bc her interpretation of Alyx was a mean liar who started a war and she doesn’t want to be that. But Weiss who say Alyx as someone trying to survive. We don’t hear how Yang thought of her but she added on to the story telling bc she was the one reading them to Ruby. And then Ruby who is just. She’s gone. She’s out of it she’s not having any of this. A fun adventure that her younger self would have loved and now she’s so angry and jaded. God. But Blake is already killing it this episode I hope she comes out of this realizing there is no true Right way to live life and that making mistakes won’t always end in death and disaster. She can be silly and not have to worry about being a moral example. UGH ITS SO GOOD ALREADY MY ONLY WISH IS THAT IT WERE LONGER BUT ITS OK THAT ITS NOT IT JUST MEAN EACH SECOKD IS IMPORTANT

I am LIVING for a Blake who knows how to be carefree and silly and a leader, and a woman in love. Yang has always been and still is my best girl but Blake, appropriately enough is pulling right up along side her.

The contrasts between the girls have been amazing. Weiss just being DONE because the Ever After doesn't make sense and then her breaking down because she's realized that there's nothing for her to go back to.

Yang, using humor as a shield but being blindsided when Jinxy asked for "What it feels like to be loved" (CRWBY that was a subtle as a sledgehammer"

Poor Ruby. The girl who always embodied hope now doesn't have enough to fill a jar. Who always tried to do the right thing and now feels like she doesn't know what to do anymore.

This is just Chapter 2 and I feel like we've just gotten SO MUCH like by the time this volume is over we're going to have two regular volumes worth of character development.

Amazing what happens when you don't have to deal with the end of the world on top of everything else.

[melissasnax]

self talk

— work —-

who are you…WHO AM I outside of work? i often see people on insta or twitter tagging their workplace but why is that? is it bc we want others to know where work for info purposes? or because we’re proud of where we work? or because there’s a connotation of status behind include our workplace if it’s well known?

—- social media —-

social media preys on validation, attention, and our friendship dynamics. for me, instagram used to be a place for sharing memories, documenting life, seeing pictures of friends. now it’s rife with influencers and content creators portraying this lifestyle often unattainable for most. somehow we all want to be content creators… maybe often thinking “how can i have that lifestyle too?”. but why aspire for someone else’s lifestyle when we can fully have one that’s uniquely ours?

instagram specifically distorts the concept of what it means to connect with people and often that could be why many still feel lonely. because social media will never be enough. it’s not going to make you feel less lonely. only face to face interaction can do that for you. social media makes you feel like you’re connecting with people when really the majority don’t even remember the last time they talked to you in real life.

why do we feel compelled to share every moment we spend with people or friends on social? because we want others to know we’re not lonely? because we want others to know that we have friends (even if we actually feel lonely)?

by no means do i judge anyone who does do this btw. if you find it meaningful pls live your life. but this stems from my feelings towards social, whenever i post i feel icky, like i’ve crossed my own boundaries, like why in the world am i sharing this with people i haven’t talked to in 2 years?? who are we without our followings and our social networks? (aka referring to the twitter app slowly imploding).

—- hobbies and money —-

we’re too money oriented. actually, i’d say this is not our fault given how jobs and systems don’t pay many of us livable wages so of course some of us have to resort to monetizing our hobbies. but at the same time there’s a boundary right? i know people with the attitude “i’m only going to do this hobby if i’m good at it and can make money.” the only reason we even might not take on hobbies we’re not good at is because we know we might not be able to make money from it.

but i say…do the damn hobby anyway (being bad at a hobby doesn’t exist unless you actually believe that.

—- friendships—

you know what’s funny? how my friends that i visited in new york were more excited and put energy and effort into hanging out then my friends at home. when i’m at home my friends delay plans a lot— busy lives, work, other commitments, health issues. i understand of course a friend is struggling or simply needs their alone time. but over time, if a friend keeps delaying plans over and over…i wonder “will we ever hang out at some point?”

whereas in new york it was so easy to make plans and see friends and meet and do fun things and talk and actually learn about each other! like my friends actually MAKE TIME!! Whereas here my friends assume that i’ll always be around and feel there’s nothing wrong with delaying hangouts. which maybe there’s nothing wrong, but…

have we ever considered the power and consequences behind the belief of “see you next time?”, “see you soon”, “i’ll text them later”, “i’ll cancel and reschedule (x plans)”, “oh i’ll see the lm next week, month..”??? sometimes days turn to weeks and weeks turns into months and months then into years. perhaps it’s the concept of death that makes me think about friendships this way. the idea that we take our friends for granted and can hang out with any time, assuring ourselves they will always be there.

but what if they’re not? what if they die the next day? the next week? what then? this isn’t me blaming my friends or whoever is reading this, but it’s something more people should think about. we take people for granted too often and in the future we’ll regret doing so.

and how does social media feed into this? the way in which we check on insta for our friends life updates without asking our friends directly how they are doing. can’t hang out with them or caught up in a while?— check insta.

i think i’m angry. or should i say… i know i’m angry.