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ozfi · 7 months ago

Text

TO THE END

what are your thoughts on narutaki btw

whats his fucking problem

every single world he goes to hes like THIS ONE will kill her. for sure. i want her ass GONE

see id be more neutral if he wasnt explicitly just trying to get in tsukasas way and not actually Stop Destruction. or if he is his definition of destruction is very different than mine. a bad situation will end and everyone and everything will be literally totally fine and okay and narutaki will be like

it doesnt even seem to be "because the end will be war" its also about individual worlds that turn out just fine. maybe narutaki is just playing 5d chess i dont know enough to follow along with

cuz if it WAS "end her journey before it ends" id get it, hes telling individual riders to beware, get in her way. but then comes the "youve destroyed THIS world" . and the only destruction tsukasa has immediately done is end the current story

which the rider was supposed to do on their own anyway

maybe he just doesnt like her

I think narutaki when you view DCD as metanarrative has an interesting position, I feel.

guy who just fucking hates the book hes reading

someone who's already defined what Is and Isn't A Kamen Rider story to the point where anything out of bounds (including new interpretations and connections, and of course, a Resolution which tsukasa is bringing about in) is simply. Unacceptable

can we see tsukasa "destroying the worlds" to be as simple as destroying the bounds of what people define as "Kamen Rider"? and is that even a bad thing.....

they could have done more with this in hibiki world where hibiki breaks convention by having the rider's power originate from somewhere that isnt the monsters but that would require toei caring about hibiki i guess

Also im not done yet i have a few more eps so maybe they do. i dont know

actually thats part of it- decade herself has no native monsters

where does decades power come from?

why is tsukasa a kamen rider?

(to that end, diend must be from the same source- the suit design ethos is the same, which riders diegetically understand and recognize others who do not fit their theming as outsiders)

theyre not riders to fight for humanity in the typical sense, theyre riders who have their own thoughts and ideas and actions outside of the setup of what kamen riders should be (something turned you monstrous, but you fight for the humanity you lost), instead framing the struggle externally, as one would analyse stories themselves instead of one individual one

""you have lost your place to belong, and now you must find it again"

for daiki its "you have abandoned the place you came from, and now you make your own path"

which are fundamentally the same when you look at them in monochrome

belonging vs freedom. etc

is decade itself a commentary on the fact that the show it belongs to only got 31 episodes and was not officially completed? I guess i will find out

would be funny if it was though

for me...

tsukasa is a story. one that hasn't even been written yet, or at the very least, only partially written. who decides where the meaning lies, the endpoint that recontextualizes everything into something that "fits".....? should it even fit? why even write a story like this? being in conversation in what came before it (and someday, what will come after) will inevitably shape it, but it doesn't necessarily define it.

which becomes her problem! because she is a story but shes also a living breathing person, and metaphors can only be pretty as metaphors. the one who decides where her journey ends would be her, but as someone who exists behind the camera, as one who very much interprets herself as an observer instead of one who participates, ....... not even she knows what that means, or how to get there. thats why shes a traveler, thats why shes journeying, to discover that place, to discover the end of her own story. the metanarrative and the narrative being exactly the same isnt inherently a tragedy, but when theyre both about a lack of an ending/a place to belong/a home to go back to...

of course a hero is never the same when they return from their journey, and sometimes the place they return to has changed irreversibly as well. but tsukasa does not even have that luxury. she has no beginning, and thus there is no ending either

the amnesia acting as a buffer against not only tsukasas beginning but her ending, where she handily ignores the issue while she travels until the quietest moment of respite between her and the only person who has ever indicated she knows the truth . as she she fronting about other things; why worry about the past when the future is where the story ends? but thats not true. the past matters too.

i suppose you could interpret it as "Tsukasa doesnt worry about the past and asks when she gets the chance just because there is a chance" but the camera THE CAMERA shes bad at fronting. shes bad at acting! She can fool the world but not I! when mayu AR kabuto is genuinely kind to tsukasa and compliments her genuinely and says she really is talented and good at things tsukasa is SHOCKED!! its small but its visible!!!!!!!

tsukasa knows shes good at everything else without even trying (why is she good at those things? how does she know how to do them? she doesnt remember and may never know) but the thing she is actually conscious about being bad at- the thing that so handily indicates she does not belong and is being actively rejected by everything around her- "these are wonderful, you definitely have talent" . there is raw confusion and shock. I am telling . the world. tsukasa cares so much . it is not just about the end. but the end is there too. she wants to know who she is and why. she wants to find her world again not just as an ending but to know her beginning

natsumi is kind of like tsukasas insecurities manifest

as in. she gives voice to them. she symbolizes them. she acts in ways that tsukasa does not and cannot

due to the front. and all

she is the one that is externally upset about a world without riders, the fact that every world is a world without tsukasa, that tsukasa shouldnt be there at all, the fact that everyone is fine with tsukasa theoretically not existing. and seen above - tsukasa shares these worries too, just less obviously.

but then itd probably be both yusuke and natsumi, right...?

tsukasa torn between what she should be and what she is

i just think its starker when it comes to natsumi

who is, also, coincidentally, a girl,

natsumis bigger reaction leads directly to tsukasas smaller one of the exact same type, and then cuts back to natsumi brooding in the darkroom after breaking the frame on one of tsukasas shitty photos

thinking back on every instance natsumi expressed disbelief in tsukasa when the evidence was obvious, when she doubted tsukasa immediately, when she so desperately wanted to be home she ignored obvious signs from tsukasa (someone she should trust) and let herself be tricked by evil

natsumi is tsukasa.

a woman who can vocalize her fears, concerns, doubts, a woman who can make bad decisions because she is strong and unbending, a woman with a place to go back home to

fucking hell its specially established in that episode everyone gets their own cookies. they pick up the cookie of their face every single time the cookies are shown. but while yusuke takes the yusuke cookie, tsukasa picks up the natsumi cookie

and the shinkengers say . takeru says. he has no reason to think tsukasa isnt a destroyer. he has no evidence. but he has no reason to throw tsukasa out. and this is how all the worlds feel about tsukasa. whether or not she will destroy them, nobody really ends up caring about that at the end. and because of that every single individual world becomes a place tsukasa can come back to

and then, you know, next episode natsumi is wearing decades colors. tsukasa uses her own life force to help revive natsumi. our lives are literally connected. we are one

[watched the movie]

i went into this knowing. of course. i was acting and talking like i didnt because i dont want to assume things before i experience them just based on hearsay. i was dreading it to be honest. because of the basis of kamen rider . the origin of it. what shocker is and means. etc. so as i say i was dreading it i think im the most equipped to say that i... dont think it committed enough to what it was going for...?

ok. say tsukasa is the leader of dai shocker..... then what? how long? why? what did she do there? assumptions can be made and all, but ultimately all we know that tsukasa directly did was take off gackts arm

tsukasa is probably 20. it doesnt matter. ten years ago she was a baby still. last year she went to go on a journey and explore the worlds, assumably to unite them so daishocker could invade. cool . that is One Year ago and she fucked up so bad she forgot she was even leader. joining of course is a problem on its own but . ..all we have is ASSUMING ... maybe a week? a month? of confirmed time, where the great leader of daishocker planned to conquer the worlds and then went out to do it

NOT EVEN SAYO ADDRESSES THIS!!!!!!!

when did tsukasa join. why did she join. how ? did she join? how did she become THE LEADER? what sins are they even talking about carrying??? none of these were addressed. its just ... youre supposed to extrapolate based on data but she wasnt even doing any of the shit in the series because she has clearly not been a part of daishocker FOR A YEARRRRRRRRR

and also in amazon world masahiko says his dad died a year ago and then daishocker invaded after that so that wasnt even fucking tsukasa either. ntm the big bad would probably recognize the great leader he was working with?

i was ready to write analysis on this but they gave me LITERALLY nothing to work with in this movie IM KIND OF DISAPPOINTED ACTUALLY

i can analyse some of the things that. happened in it. but as of the tsukasa background i was offered there is just . ..intentionally nothing, i guess

the thing about decade is that they build up this whole backstory that they never reveal. like if you were going to give decade an ""ending"" (the show) it should have just been. in the show. because doing it in a movie really screws over what you can do with it and leads it to being just generally disappointing. and they didn't even make something good with what they chose to do. In terms of adding to the story at all the movie has always been disappointing i'm just in physical pain thinking about the powrr of love and memories bringing people back

i do .. i did actually justify the concept of tsukasa being part of shocker . in my head. while i was watching

i literally even justified it to myself

technically, without shocker, kamen riders wouldnt exist. without despair, what need is there for a hero, right?

nada. nothing. 0:0. WHY EVEN HAVE DAISHOCKER IF YOU WONT ADDRESS THAT?

amazon world addressed it better!!!

a lot of people theorize about tsukasa and sayo's parents having been a part of shocker/daishocker and they were waiting to groom tsukasa into the leader but it doesn't make sense that way either. nothing really makes sense about it

then sayo would have been a part of it also they DIED when tsukasa was FUCKING 10

yup

i can. omg.

so many things in series point to it . i agree. whered the decade and diend drivers come from? why can they travel between worlds? they got that power from daishocker. end point. no need for sayo manpain. daishocker can do that bc they can do so much other shit why arent they able to do that. decade doesnt belong to any world because she turned her back on hers and it rejects her now. done. where did the front of a confident unbothered genius come from why does tsukasa know things about every world she goes to without thinking why is she good at everything she does

literally the answer to every question about tsukasa can be answered with daishocker IM SO FUCKING SERIOUS WHY AM I THE ONE FIGHTING FOR THIS?????????

they wanted to give an explanation but they didnt want to give an explanation FOR that explanation

Why Do I Have To Be The One To Make Tsukasa Part Of Daishocker

(and have it make sense)

Because you're the onky person who gives enough of a fuck

toei sure doesn't

i didnt even want tsukasa to be part of daishocker but now im like why isnt she in any meaningful way

NO BC IF SHE'S GOING TO BE

LEGIT!

THEN MAKE IT MAKE SENSE?

the idea that tsukasa used to be someone full of hate and despair and so misanthropic towards the world and then she loses her memories and she doesnt have any reason to feel like that anymore except the loneliness that brought her spiraling into radicalization to begin with but then she finds natsumi and eijirou, and yuusuke, and all the worlds and their riders who are initially distrusting but ultimately see her as an ally and someone who is welcome back if she chooses to continue her journey, and the loneliness fills, because without despair there can be no kamen riders, who symbolize hope, and i think it would be a meaningful story to tell of someone who is lonely enough to make fucking horrible decisions to find community and realize after the fact that an anchor was there all along, she was just blinded from it

i chose not to belong anywhere and it made me feel worse. huh. why would that be? :huntershruggy: but surprise! you have loved ones now. get loved idiot. the only thing that can save a loner is community. then she'd echo masahiko too

i just think . stories about people saving themselves from radicalization and doom are needed more than stories about how theyll never be accepted again [so theres no point in changing]

which is why i like buffa so much LOL really excellent storyline process with her. geats really did knock so much out of the fucking water

you may not be forgiven and your mistakes will always live with you but thats why you have to look for a brighter future. you have to change, for others, but for yourself most of all

people are really allergic to "good" endings and stuff sometimes but when you start a story a certain way (the way decade did) it has to end a certain way (as you've described) if that makes sense. this is kind of just reiterating your points though

hey so tsukasa keeps saying she is the destroyer

and that shes not taking anyones side while the riders fight each other

and the fangire queen says neutrality is not allowed, that its basically siding with blade

the picture itself seems odd as well

here. theyre not fighting each other, theyre fighting decade. so.. .shes the destroyer. shes at fault. not anyone else. she is redirecting them from internal rider conflict and making herself a scapegoat.

6. ........... 7. because she doesnt belong anywhere, and it doesnt matter if she dies. not like the other riders. 8. i think. 9. because we know at this point tsukasa didnt start this war like what is being implied every time it comes up, and what theyre saying is that decades activities in the worlds "made things worse", though theres no evidence of that. shes not at fault . but people are fighting anyway. her existence is an anomaly, so maybe if shes destroyed, the worlds will be saved...? somehow...?

[final two eps]

i dont really know why they chose kenzaki for this role to be honest. i love seeing him, dont get me wrong. but kenzaki is intimately familiar with sacrificing the world to save someone you love. thats kind of his thing. personally id think he would get tsukasas unwillingness to bend for the sake of the ones he loves. though if you reverse it... well. Maybe he wont ever come to terms with the fact his own life wasnt expendable either, that he deserves to live his own life too. you do it for love, but what about you...? zakki my zakki :( [maybe justify it as original blade world being threatened as well? thats what kenzaki gave his life for, after all... it would make sense that he would want to protect that with all his might. but it actually has to be SAID. not implied. ffs]

[5] so shes being scapegoated, but i think shes going to lean into that [theorized for the ending, not the process. sigh]. and i understand everyones desire to not want their loved ones to disappear. so does tsukasa. but she thinks she can find another way. that she can find a way to save everyone. but i still think it will be her own demise. all shes ever been told is that she doesnt belong, even by people who welcomed her once. that she doesnt have a world, she has nothing to protect, she'll never understand. but when she does have something to protect shes selfish and risking everyone else.

who gets to decide the value of a life? why is tsukasas less valuable than any other? isnt that, also, a struggle rider is made to address? human life means human life. if theyre doing wrong, right it. if theyre hurting others, stop it. sometimes you have to go far, but to fight to kill kills you, as well. a human life is the most precious thing in the world. and that includes tsukasa, too.

no journey is wasted. no life is wasted.

soyeah that ending was. ?Something? nothing actually it was nothing. That was nothing i. wish toei cared about decade as much as i did. i said this just this morning: which was correct

ultimately yeah i really enjoyed decade. i thought it was an excellent series while it lasted, i loved how it valued stories and journeys and thoughts and feelings, how much it really did love kamen rider, i love tsukasa, i love daiki, natsumi, yuusuke. but yeah! it was unfinished! very obviously unfinished! "is decade itself a commentary on the fact that the show it belongs to only got 31 episodes and was not officially completed?" yes. the answer is yes. its about the journey, which is fair. it is. but the fact tsukasa gets no real beginning or ending is so unfair. she will always be trapped in time as she is without knowing who she really is. her journey hasnt ended yet because it never got the chance to.

i guess i can think of a lot of endings. i like to think she dies willingly to protect the worlds because she believes that she, and everyone else who was lost, lives in the hearts and minds (photos are memories) of the ones they love. and through this love they can reminisced back into reality by her friends, justifying every bond she has made throughout the show, every decision she made- that making friends and not destroying the riders was the better choice, that loneliness has a light at the end of the tunnel, that the place she belongs is right here among the people she loves. she hasnt been rejected by everyone. she belongs right here.

and the fact she doesnt get this satisfactorily in either ending is a tragedy! how do you leave it on proving narutaki, the cynic, right!!! somehow the movie was BETTER and i was JUST COMPLAINING ABOUT IT NOT DOING ANYTHING! THE FUCK!!!!!

also what was this

collected decade thots+analysis [to ep 25]

bold: calling back to another point OR something added afterwards

italics: notes from another person

写真 - sha+shin, made of copy/truth 写心 - sha+shin, but copy/heart he miswrote and had to cross out "heart" and write the hiragana but writing the hiragana means he doesnt knwo the second kanji is actually 真 so his pictures are an image of your soul . and also he cant write. im going to kms

source: pas warriorfujoshi

i know hes saying "peel" because shes a tangerine but 肌を剥くぞ　is literally "im going to tear your skin off" and its driving me to tears

> start decade after yrs of internal beef with kadoya tsukasa

> the world doesnt accept his being, he knows things he doesnt remember why he knows, things unconsciously stream out of him easily that he has consciously forgotten, no matter where he goes he is actively being rejected by existence itself and he doesnt know why

> he does not belong here, he does not belong anywhere

> and yet he moves forward anyway

> start screaming

both worlds hes been to so far have made him stand not exactly as monster (though identified with them at times, as riders often are) but also literally dehumanize him by making him stand as an other to the world’s humans as well, inherently discluding him from actually existing in that world by default whether human or beast. and while that external perspective can help him end fights, it again means there is no world in which he is not an outsider, and there is no place he actually belongs

he doesnt belong anywhere and all the worlds actively reject him by labeling him an ULF or that hes dangerous that hes not linto that hes somehow not human in the way other people are human and it doesnt let him connect with others

this includes his rider suit being obviously "other" to all other suits, that even other kamen riders do not recognize him as an ally and are instantly on guard against him up until the very end

hes told over and over he exists as to destroy and he has no place for himself and hes not even really considered human in the worlds he goes to hes always some nebulous Other, made to fit the world but never made to belong

i cant trust other people - natsumi and yusuke i cant feel the pain of others - he smugly (front) pushes people into addressing their issues and continuing their story im just going along with that idiot - AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH "im not human im just acting like it" YOU ARE HUMAN DIKEIDOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

from: pas warriorfujoshi

while the premises of these individual plots seem a bit nonsensical im really enjoying the way decade plays with established lore to do both reuse old and do new things- getting to reuse old suits and kaijin, the directing and areas matching their shows, a new ryuki rider suit, playing with time vent, seeing BOARD be a real company. I’ll be real I’m making this post because the sequence of BOARD having to authorize the blade riders henshins made me so happy

i cant believe decade is like ichigo is gay for real and renshin cannon king but then kenhaji is doomed here too there is no blade/chalice love is fake. they cant even have anything in an AR world

decade sincerely critiquing capitalism?!

and an extremely kenzaki face. in this moment, they are one.

you know now that i think about it a lot of decade so far has been about "accepting outsiders"

tsukasa is affiliated with the heroes of the story, sure, but when someone is disadvantaged she always steps up to help them even if its in her own dickhead tsukasa way

the orphnochs yelling "humans have always excluded and hated us!" is cementing it

tsukasa is just as much of an outsider, and he cant belong to any of these worlds, but the world itself does try to help him fit in

and then everyone ends up loving him despite it not being her Place To Be

[4] it's really compounded by how unbending he is. he says he doesnt understand others, he cant trust them, he doesnt feel joy the same way, but his raw force of will combined with other's belief in HIM lets him get through anything

tsukasa himself can never capture the same face twice, as hes the one behind the camera, and technically he himself doesnt have to be seen within the stories he journeys through. but a space is made for him anyway- for the one behind the camera

[long break where i was talking about blade cast members instead of watching my damn show]

this is all shes been doing the whole time wdym

tsukasa told momo to stand up and imagin(e) a form for himself and then the card glowed and final form ride was used and momo was restored… tsukasa "cant take pictures" but his imagination is broad and wide and she helps people find themselves

tsukasa can see through to ones true self just like her photos do

first time daiki has ever actually gotten mad at tsukasa

8. why is daiki working for the roach something worth making her Fourteen's Most Wanted when the roach are the ones in charge 9. thats not the real reason... 10. itd be defecting and leaving . 11. or maybe something even beyond that, but i think even just doing that is pretty dire in a place like this 12. maybe the two other riders believe because daiki defected jun'ichi was abducted and brainwashed [only slightly incorrect] 13. but i kind of get the feeling jun'ichi isnt

14. [13] yappari na 15. it wasnt for any heroic reason it wasnt for free will - daiki herself invented a program to "fix" people before - it wasnt for values - daiki is not a typical rider and laughs in the face of sentimentality, even as a front - it wasnt for the other riders - daiki is willing to hurt them to keep them out of her way 16. it was just for her brother himself 17. not that free will wasnt a factor. obviously the knowledge that jun'ichi believes in it and acknowledges it is important and the fact that daiki is so averse to any show of kindness would make it so she wishes if she ever came back it wouldnt be like this, clinical and stiff and fake

i want to point out jun'ichi's usage of destroy here ......

from: pas warriorfujoshi

but in this case the "destroy" daiki wants to do is break down the structures of the roaches influence on her brother. she functionally wants to literally destroy the world that exists as it is and have it be born anew

All she wanted from the beginning of leaving her world was to return with the power to save her brother . She would break down the entire world to do that

losing your own identity to keep the spirit of the brother you love alive... losing faith in yourself and in everything else because the world took the one you loved away from you.....to have one stupid schmuck take your hand and refuse to let go and look you in the eyes and go I trust you. I believe in you. And you can believe in yourself.

HAVE HIM SEE THROUGH YOU SO EASILY EVEN WHEN YOU'VE BEEN DOING THIS FOR LONG ENOUGH YOU CAN'T SEE THROUGH YOURSELF!

the thing tsukasa tells her is that she cares for her brother. He saw through her that easily

but its because tsukasa doesnt know herself that she can find other people like this so easily, i think. daiki doesnt like that answer though, and kind of refuses to face it up to this point

she was only willing to give tsukasa an answer now, after tsukasa tore her to shreds (Emotionally), but was cut off by that thing that was more important

and it was such perfect timing for jun'ichi to reveal he was lucid all along, and the one who believes in daiki and trusts her most now is tsukasa, it felt like a sort of a metaphorical torch pass.... for daikis primary focus to shift

technically every world is a world without tsukasa

I AM CLEARING THIS SHIT WITH FULL POINTS

something something daiki not only taking on niisans traits to make sure he lives on at cost of herself but throwing everything about her past self away in the process- a thief is a criminal, theoretically the opposite of a cop. while its an act of resistance, its also shuttering the doors on her self up until that point, and when she can get to zio, or change her style and appearance to fit who shes chosen to be, then she will truly be free

its so interesting that diend DOES natively have that butterfly motif its just hidden

what did they mean by this

someone pointed out all tsukasas outfits are so warm and soft and shes so often wearing sweaters and jackets and looks snug

also the universal transgender experience of covering up your body w sweaters/jackets. so people don't know you're transgender. because she's

a woman

to that end can i

say

somethi

so every world rejects her, but then she comes to a world that welcomes her and its with open arms, free food, maids, women- essentially, its a world too good to be true. kept as an item and THE status symbol in a world considered evil, wrong, and antithetical to the "normal world"

we will only accept you if you understand you belong nowhere else but here, because you are bad and wrong.

tsukasa is someone with something missing even when being filled up, there will always be something missing - she finishes her journey, she still doesnt have a place to belong, and then is offered a world. youve been given a world. a place to belong. this place is what youve always been searching for

and that world shes offered is. nega world. evil riders run the show, and their lackeys make sure humans cant survive by. actively murdering them. all love and appearances are fake. it is tailored for the ones who stay, that it is a perfect copy of the world tsukasa started in and feels closest to, natsumis, but its different and wrong, everything is fake

just like daikis world

by the way

but even the vague sense of belonging tsukasa gets from this world - photos showing "properly" - is a lie. theyre actually in negative, and even then are still her own pinboke shashin

this implies things about tsukasa, to be honest! but whats even more evident is that she doesnt WANT it to. she doesnt want to be here. she wants to keep going, she tells herself to not fear the journey. this place is too good to be true- this place is bad and wrong- suck it up and keep moving

my thoughts are essentially .... okay, im missing something, but im also not. whatever this implies about tsukasa is no longer true. i mean. well. shes said to be a destroyer, but i think it goes deeper than that. but again, thats not the part that matters. and the show constantly dancing around tsukasas past, and the one who knows hiding it and only being willing to say it after being stripped bare, but doesn't seem especially opposed to tsukasa in general, just because of their "i got here first" dynamic

but daiki is also a freak. i admit that

daiki's a freak it's okay

but you know through fandoms lack of filter and general kamen rider knowledge i think i have a pretty good guess. which is interesting. you know. but also whatever it was, tsukasa has clearly changed, clearly doesnt want to be that anymore, and its still a story worth telling

daiki like. (ME TRYING TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO SAY THIS) she genuinely

did not give a fuck about tsukasa until what happened in her world

that flipped a switch she was playing and having fun and flirting up until then because that's just how she is. but when he

believed in her. when she told her she'd help. when she SAW her for who she was

They're fuckinf gay

tsukasa in the past was no different than anyone else that was fucked up to her. Tsukasa was just another means to an end for daiki. until she saw her change with her own eyes

imagine being snagged. like a butterfly im a net. by some shithead you dont actually give a fuck about. and instantly your opinion flips like binary

crazy ass dynamic...

theres something missing frm my tsukasa analysis and im frustrated but its the fact that theres something missing frm tsukasa im not sure how to define

theres a lack of self confidence despite appearances. when she is genuinely praised she gets confused. she does not consider the journey her real home, despite protagonists usually going My journey was the friends we made along the way. and granted it is probably because im not done yet and am only halfway done with what should have been a 50 episode season. but natsumi is still.. against her. in nega world she refuses to trust tsukasas words despite liking her quite a lot, choosing her old friends over tsukasas words instantly and easily. in kabuto world tsukasa asserts her selfhood obviously against the worm, and then the worm argues, and natsumi is visibly unsure

even between tsukasa and her first friend in the world she appeared in theres a fundamental disconnect

granted, tsukasa should have said "there are evil riders trying to kill me", but natsumi immediately shut down "something is wrong" with "Youre JEALOUS! that i found my world again and you didnt!" and thats just. unimaginably cruel *i love natsumi

tsukasa is bringing people together despite being an outsider, that she helps them bring their story to completion with their belief in her

and even then she's no one's home either. she can't even be her own home because of what's missing

i don't really like the concept of daiki having a home anywhere else either because daiki will forever and always consider her brother her home. she will always consider her home gone. something only in her memories

and yusuke knows his home he's just journeying

and yusukes home is his own world, with yashiros smile helping him go on a journey, yknow, like. Actual Kuuga

daiki's got a fixation on FREEDOM too

she has to be free. she can't be tied down. nowhere is a "home", anymore

which is another reason butterfly imagery auits her

transformation and freedom.

tsukasa is a traveler looking for a place to belong

daiki had a world she treasures dearly but still bandies around

theyre good foils

tsukasa wants belonging and daiki wants freedom but they still like each other so so much

i think something important about them is that tsukasa would never ask her to stay. she'd never ask her to give up her freedom (BITING MY TONGUE ON THAT) tsukasa knows how important that freedom is. daiki's freedom is as important as tsukasa's own Place

but... daiki .. (coughs blood)....... will always come back to her.... (die

DAIKI HAS NO HOME, NOT ANYMORE, BUT SHE'LL ALWAYS FIND HERSELF AT THE PHOTO STUDIO, MAKING BREAKFAST FOR THEM.

the photo studio is "a place to return to", not a home

it doesn't have to be a home, it's just the place they rest when their journey takes a break

i think tsukasa is interesting cuz she asserts shes a destroyer (everyone tells her this, and she thinks she may as well lean into it), she doesn't feel joy the same way, she doesnt trust people, but she's "just trusting what yuusuke does". the thing is. the show is about her finding happiness. and trusting people. and people seeing her and immediately liking her and trusting her, and it's always that trust in her that allows her to help them in turn

shes just.. so dehumanized and feels so wrong next to those people that she feels like her joy is not theirs, that this trust must not be actual trust but "just going along with them" despite not actually being the case

it speaks to how disconnected she is.. literally dissociated from all of her own emotions and they manifest as a front of detached, airy confidence

tsukasa is immediately warm and someone people ARE drawn to in a way no other "smartass" category rider is

people get pulled into tendous orbit but it takes a lot for people to actually like him, sento is actually pretty hard to get to know because of her own identity issues. shes very similar to tsukasa in many ways when i think about it, though tsukasa isnt the same type of smart ass

but tsukasa has a front and a core and kindness to spare. tbh. even if she can be a dick sometimes. who isnt

tsukasa continues trying no matter how much the world tries to bring her down. and it draws people in to be around that

an unmatched, one-of-a-kind aura

tsukasa may feel empty but that emptiness is why she cant give up

#decade spoilers #BLADE SPOILERS

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julilovesyou444 · 2 years ago

Text

hotel room ~ tom kaulitz

background- you drank too much and ended up not feeling great. you asked bill if you could go back to his room and he said sure and handed you a key card. you went back to the hotel but couldn’t quite remember what room number he said. you scanned a couple rooms until one of them finally opened. someone comes into the room, but it isn’t who you are expecting.

warnings - mentions of drinking, just fluff ♡

english isnt my first language, I learned at 10 so please go easy on me lol

I stumbled down the hallway, holding my heels in my hand. my head was throbbing and I felt so sick. I had one too many at the bar. thankfully, my bestfriend gave me the key to his hotel room so I could go rest. if I hadn’t stopped drinking, I probably would’ve thrown up on someone’s shoes.

yuck.

I got to the few doors I had narrowed it down to a few doors. bill had told me which room it was, but to be honest, I could barely hear him over the loud music. he had two keycards in his hand and he didn’t seem like he knew which was which. I walked up to the first door and put the card against the little sensor on the door. red light. fuck.

next door. red light. fuck again. I knew if I kept scanning the card on random doors it would eventually deactivate. I held my breath as I scanned it against another door.

green light! my luck was finally turning around. I pushed through the door and let it shut behind me. I dropped my heels and sighed as I made my way to the bathroom. I slipped off my tight dress that was pressing way too hard on my stomach. I looked at myself in the mirror. My makeup was smudged and my hair was messy. I walked back into the room and looked around for a suit case. I found a duffel bag beside the bed. My vision was blurry, I could barely see what I was looking through. After looking for a minute or two, I found pajama pants and a random white tee shirt. It didn’t really look like something Bill would wear, but I didn’t think too much of it. I also thought Bill wouldn’t mind if I took a pair of his pajamas, seeing as he borrowed my clothes all the time. I went back into the bathroom, washed my face, let my hair down, and used the mouth wash that was on the counter. I obviously wasn’t going to use his toothbrush, but I wanted my teeth to at least be a little clean. I grabbed my clothes and put them in a small pile on the floor before flopping onto the bed. I got under the sheets. I noticed that the bed didn’t really smell how Bill’s normally did. I was too tired to care. I fell asleep within minutes.

“shh, c’mon.”, a girl giggled.

“okay, okay, I’m coming.”, a guy responded. The hotel door shut.

“Um… who is that in your bed?”

“Oh shit. Bill gave her the wrong fucking key.”

“What do you mean?”

“Fuck, nothing, you just need to leave.”

“What?? Why?”

“We can’t do anything tonight, sorry.”

“Just kick her out?!? Do you even know her?”

“Hey, i said get the fuck out, so leave!”, he whisper yelled.

“Whatever, so fucking weird.”

The hotel door shut again.

My eyes were still closed and I was still partially asleep, but I had heard part of the encounter. I lifted my head out of the pillow it had been resting on, eyes still shut and brows furrowed.

“Bill? Should I leave? You can bring her back. Im sorry, Bill.”, i sleepily and drunkenly rambled. I heard footsteps quickly make their way over to me. A soft hand gently pushed my face back down onto the pillow and shushed me.

“No, no, it’s okay. Just go back to sleep, it’s okay.”, he comforted me.

“Okay, im sorry Bill. I just felt so bad. I also borrowed your pajamas, i dont think I’ve ever seen this pair before, they’re comfy.”, i sleepily mumbled as his hand caressed my cheek.

“it’s okay, you can go back to sleep.”

“can you sleep with me? I don’t want to sleep alone tonight.”

there was no answer for a minute. I didn’t take much notice as I had my eyes closed and was on the brink of falling back asleep.

“okay.”

I listened as I heard him change into different clothes and brush his teeth. I felt the bed shift under his weight as he laid down next to me.

my eyes fluttered open for a split second, and I could somewhat tell that he was on top of the covers.

“you can get under the covers.”, I murmured.

it took a second, but he got under the covers next to me. I could feel his warmth, it was comforting.

I turned over and scooted myself closer to him, my head next to his chest. I wrapped my arm around him. Bill and I had been friends forever, and we were rather affectionate, in a purely platonic way.

“Goodnight.”, i whispered as i went to pet his hair. I immediately took my hand back and opened my eyes narrowly. I looked up and realized the man next to me was not in-fact Bill. It was Tom. I put the dots together. Bill gave me the key for Tom’s room on accident. I was wearing Tom’s clothes. I accidentally had Tom miss out on a fuck, one of the many things he was notorious for. I was surprised he wasn’t mad at me for ruining his night.

“Tom?”, i asked groggily. My arm still draped over him, but I was no longer touching his hair. His expression was soft, almost worried. His eyes searched mine for any discomfort.

“Is this okay?”, he asked quietly. I thought for a moment. I was always good friends with Tom, but there was always a sort of tension between us. Something that kept us from being able to do things like hug or stuff like that. We used to do it all the time when we were younger, but now? Never. Usually, I would barely touch Tom. We joked around and talked all the time. He probably knew me just as well as Bill knew me. I didn’t expect him to kick out his date for my sick-ass, though. This was new for me. But I liked it. I liked being this close to him, it felt nice.

I nodded.

“Are you okay?”, i asked, mainly referring to the fact I was right up on him. A very small smiled formed on his face as he nodded his head, gazing down at me.

I mumbled an okay before snuggling my head into his chest. I wondered why he was letting me do this. This wasn’t us. I wasn’t complaining, just a little confused. I took a breath in and immediately recognized that the smell from the bed was Tom’s smell. I just never got too close to him so I didn’t know. He snaked his hand around my waist and pulled me a little closer. I breathed in quickly, surprised by his little maneuver. His hand made slow circles on the small of my back.

“Are you feeling any better?”, he whispered. I didn’t even know that he knew I had left because I felt sick, let alone care.

“I am now.”, i replied, muffled into his shirt.

“Good.”

I couldn’t help but smile. He continued to rub my back until I fell asleep in his arms.

I sat up quicker than I ever had before. I gasped for air and opened my eyes. I started to catch my breath. I felt Tom sit up next to me, his hand on my back.

“Are you okay?? Are you sick again?”, he asked, concerned.

“No…no… bad dream… I had a really bad fucking dream.”, i said in between breaths. I held my face in my hands, feeling more embarrassed than ever. First I showed up in his room, ruined his one-night stand, and now i woke him up because of my stupid nightmare.

“I’m so sorry. I ruined your night, I should leave.”, i mumbled. I wanted to leave so he couldn’t see my face. I was so upset at myself. I began to overthink every single thing that had happened.

“What? No. Don’t go. Its way too late. How do you think you ruined my night?”, he moved himself closer to me. I felt embarrassed having to explain to him, but it didn’t seem like there was much of another choice.

“I came into your room, I made your date leave, I mean I stole your fucking pajamas, I probably forced you into sleeping next to me, we literally never touch so why now, and I just woke you up. I feel so stupid, I’m sorry.”, I apologized again. Maybe it was the alcohol that was making me so emotional.

“No, no, no. Its okay, i wasn’t that into her anyways. You can keep the pajamas, i dont really care. And I wanted to sleep with you, I wanted to touch you. I do want to touch you, I just get… shit, how do I say this? Fuck it, i get nervous, okay? It has nothing to do with me not wanting to touch you, trust me, i do. And Bill has told me about your nightmares before, it’s okay. Its not your fault. You are just still drunk and overthinking things. I want you here, so just lay back down. It’ll be okay.”, Tom responded, very lightly pushing me to lay back down. I resisted at first but very quickly gave into his warm touch. I was instantly reassured by his words, even though part of me still remained unsure. I turned onto my side, away from him. He positioned himself right behind me, practically spooning me. He started to run his fingers through my hair. It was quiet for a couple minutes, just peaceful. I felt okay.

“do you still like this?”, Tom whispered.

“Hm?”

“Dont you remember? When we were kids and you would sleepover, most of the time you couldn’t fall asleep, so I would play with your hair until you did.”

“Oh, I hadn’t remembered until you reminded me. To be fair, you’re a rockstar now. You have different priorities, like the band and girls. I’ve read the articles and seen the pictures. We don’t hangout too much anymore.”, i laughed a tiny bit into the pillow. He kept stroking my hair, but he didn’t say anything. It made me nervous. Did I cross a line or something?

“You’re right. My life has changed. A lot. But I’m still me, and you’re still you. We are still the kids we used to be, even though I may not seem like it because of the way everyone views me. As long as that’s true, you’ll always be in my life, same with Bill’s.”

“Why are you so sweet, Tom? I kind of thought you weren’t based on your whole “womanizer” persona.”

“That’s how everyone sees me, so I figure why not live up to their expectations. It’s different with you. You actually know me for me. Not the me from the tabloids”

He pushed his arm underneath me and pulled me back, flush to him. His other hand, still playing with my hair. I felt so relaxed, but somehow still a little nervous, being this close to him.

“It’s late, you should go back to sleep. You’re okay, you aren’t going to have anymore nightmares or anything. I’m right here. If you need anything, you can wake up and tell me, i wont be upset.”

“Thank you.”

“You don’t have to thank me.”

“Goodnight, Tom.”

“Goodnight.”, he quietly replied.

I felt myself completely ease into his hold, and melt into his touch as he pushed his fingers through my hair, just like he did when we were kids. I was glad that I knew this version of him. His genuine, sweet, self. I knew things would probably go back to the way they were in the morning, so I savored everything second that I got to be with him. I forgot about my embarrassment and let myself fall asleep in his arms.

I wished we could stay like that forever.

a/n ~ first thing I’m writing on tumblr!! not rlly sure how this all works but if you read I hope you enjoyed !! more to come <3

#tom kaulitz #tokio hotel #tom kaulitz fanfic #tom kaulitz fluff #tokio hotel fanfic #tokio hotel fluff #bill kaulitz #tom kaulitz x reader #tom kaulitz x y/n #tom kaulitz angst #tokio hotel x reader #bill kaulitz x reader #georg listing #gustav schäfer #bill kaulitz fanfic

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bugaboooooooooo · 3 years ago

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I havent seen anybody talk about Gabriels new suit yet, so i took this as an opportunity to write a whole ass essay about it. enjoy lmao

You could argue that the whole suit and stuff is all just for the promo for the alias rings but honestly i dont think so bc i feel like it symbolizes SO MUCH.

First off, it makes a huge point to show that Adrien and Gabriel are complete opposites now. bc now hes the opposite of Chat Noir, hes completely in white as opposed to Chat who's in black.

He also perfectly resembles Chat Blanc now (not only are they both completely white, the only colour present is blue and its in their eyes). I think this is to show that hes going to sort of become like Chat Blanc: evolution already showed us that hes descending into madness; hes destroyed any chance to save Emilie without the miraculous by not choosing either Nathalie or Emilie, just like how Chat Blanc destroyed the world by not being able to choose Ladybug or his father, and there are probably much more parallels that I can't think of rn.

What i also noticed is that the model for gabriels suit isnt the same as his old one. its very similar, but there are some differences:

The collar is way higher and tighter than before;

The buttons are missing;

His pants are way tighter that originally: they used to slack a bit at his ankles, but now theyre skin tight;

No shoelaces.

I think the collar change shows that the new powers etc are choking him, or at least that theyre making him weaker. They also give off a more formal, strict vibe.

The lack of buttons show that hes dug himself too deep into the mess hes created; theres no way out, hes trapped in this mess.

I think the pants symbolize how gabriel feels like theres no room for error, everything must be perfectly alligned, and, like the collar, it gives off big bad formal corporation vibes.

The lack of shoelaces, like the buttons, symbolize that Gabriel has no way out.

He also has gloves on, which is interesting. I feel like gloves are usually used to show that a character is hiding something, like with Elsa and Hans in Frozen.

He also has different glasses on, the cut at the back of his jacket is different from his og model and it looks like the jacket is differently structured (theres a seam right above his shoulder blades) :

I honestly dont know what to do with that, but its worth noting.

(I know that the seam is used to make a jacket more form fitting, so I guess that falls in line with what the rest of the changes told us but idk abt the rest)

Edit: someone pointed out that the seam is probably the back of the suits lapel, thank you for letting me know!!

Whats also VERY interesting is the fact that he looks alot like how he did in the concept art:

Whats even more interesting is that originally, Hawkmoth wasnt going to be a stand-alone figure; there was supposed to be a whole evil corporation that Gabriel was the head of.

And now, in canon, we see Gabriel teaming up with Tomoe, and its implied that she is (at least partially) aware of what Gabriel is doing. Together with the whole creepy party in the Gabriel Agreste ep and the scene in Feast where Audrey Bourgeious' and Tomoe's reactions where shown to the reveal of Feast, they could be hints as to whats going to come.

tl;dr: I think the new suit puts Gabriel and Adrien even more opposite of each other, shows the parallels between Chat Blanc and Gabriel, reflects Gabriel and the position he's in now better, and hints at a change in how hes going to operate as Hawkmoth (that he's going to form an organisation)

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prof-peach · 3 years ago

Note

Hello! A couple quick and potentially related questions

Has the island had to deal with shipwrecks or castaways? I grew up near (or in, depending on who you ask) a desert and am not super familiar with “big water,” but I imagine at least once a vessel has lost a passenger that ended up on the beach.

And would the island and lab crew tolerate/support someone like an island hermit? Someone who sticks to themselves, maybe has one or two partner Pokémon, and just fishes/gathers enough to take care of themselves on the island? Obviously if they bother the Pokémon or the sanctuary they’d be removed, but maybe someone they didn’t even realize lived on the island until accidentally finding them? Would they leave them be, ask them to leave, maybe find a job for them?

The island is classified as a private property, but it's partially open to the public much like a funfair or botanical garden would be. Theres no legal way it can have hermits roaming around, not only for the sake of health and saftey, but also for the security of the place. It does a lot of jobs, some of which have to be kept confidential, others being incredibly dangerous. Having just any old person roaming around doing whatever isnt an option, theres too much paperwork and legal loops to jump through for that, not to mention you'd have to covince peach youre not up to no good, and she's particulalt sus of just about everyone, and likes when people go home and let the staff get on with their actual work, instead of all the people pleasing the public side does. That whole thing was a way to rope people into visiting, and makign cash to fund life saving care for mons, she wouldnt do it if she didnt have to. The island is not residnetial and severs a speciic purpose to heal and house pokemon only. People are permitted to stay in accomodation if theyre staff, to ease travel issues, but often go home for weeks at a time, weekends, or long holidays when possible, many working on shift routers to allow them to take adequte time to themslevs. The area has a hotel sure, but thats temporary stays only. If weather gets bad, all uneccisary staff are asked to go home, and stay safe until it clears up. As for shipwrecks, they dont turn up often, the vessles that pass by are far out, and often prepared for the waters. Those who have washed up are given whatever care possible, and escorted to a more approprate health facility, as the island isnt suited for human healthcare. The water types that guard the oceas would see them struggling and alert staff if need be, Theres that pod of gyarados that traverse the area, so Grey's often the point of call for water/boat issues. Its unusual to get castaways, the odd pokemon washes up, but theyr often helped and sent back to wherever they belong if thats what they want. People have never washed up on the shores, the sea aruond Dotaku is quite fierce, not something many make it out of if the weathers bad enough to wreck yoru vessle.

#prof.peach #pokemon #peach talks #ooc #kind of

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rainwedding · 2 years ago

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I neeedddddd to know your predictions based off the trailer (of Benvi in particular, I really do care about other things in the show but I love them the most)

ooooh okay so.....not all of these predictions are actually serious some of them i just think would be FUN but i dont think they'll actually implement lmao. also....as usual i dont know when to shut the fuck up and stop typing SO. predictions under the cut!!

my prediction for benvi is: devi ghosts ben post-boinkening (basically confirmed; the trailer insinuates that they havent spoken since); ben goes after margot because she likes him (and we all saw how well it went the last time ben started dating someone else bc devi wasn't an option), it implodes, devi retaliates by dating ethan because he's hot or whatever the fuck (and honestly good for her im sure he's a tool but like.....rebound arm candy isnt necessarily a bad thing.....except in this case it is bc that is Also going to implode.) i think it would be HILARIOUS if margot and ethan ended up going out lmfao but. i doubt it. after both their rebounds fail (ben's i want to say around episode 2 bc i dont think they'll drag it out super long, and devi's probably episode 5?) they're still.....skirting around each other, in a will they/won't they kind of situation. i can see fab & eleanor trying to talk some sense into devi but devi just not listening bc she's stubborn as hell and of course she knows there's something there with ben but they've done this back-and-forth dance for so long that she's still nervous about taking that full leap.

and well. then she ends up getting like...accosted in new york (which im guessing the trailer may have been a bit misleading about that exact scenario because, ya know, it's a trailer) and ben tries to play knight in shining armor and well. we all saw what happened lmfao. cue devi icing ben's face n devi being like "why did you do that?" and ben just says "for you" or smthn cheesy as hell. this is probs around like? episode 7 i'd like to think? and they probably at least partially get their shit together but like. lbr it's ben and devi. so it can't be 100% smooth sailing. like you said im excpecing a tatbilb sort of thing - they agree to date & then break up before going to college. (we all know devi gets denied for early decision from princeton - this could play into her actually going to a school in new york - something prestigious, ofc, she graduates as valedictorian).

based on the trailer....im honestly torn on whether ben goes to prom or not! i know you said smthn about him perhaps going home and changing, but part of me also thinks - what if he didnt go at all? what if he stays home, because he knows this is gonna be one of his last good memories with devi and he just cant do it? i know we havent seen a lot of bts for season 4, but we have seen bts of maitreyi + lee + ramona in their prom dresses, and i dont recall jaren being there at all or wearing a suit (the only suit bts ive seen is of him in 2x10). so......maybe he doesnt go, but he comes to her after. idk exactly how that will play out but thats what im hoping for!!!

and of course, they end up going to the same school - thats been something ive been sure of since, well, forever lmao. i'm 100000% convinced that the last shot of the show is going to be devi coming up to ben in the library of their college or vice versa and if im wrong i will eat my mf words

as for other predictions....

i'm with you on thinking it might not be kamala's wedding anymore, but i'm still not sure who's wedding it would be - perhaps another family member? a family friend? who knows.

i think treleanor is going to break up, which is TRAGIC because they r everything to me <3 but i feel like they're the kind of couple to come back to each other after years apart so im holding out hope for them 🤞 in treleanor we trust u know !!!!

paxton's.....there. idk. he's there. devi probably like. goes after him or whatever in the midst of the ben/margot/ethan bullshit bc she doesnt want to be alone and shes like oh i finally like myself maybe i can have this since i can't have what i really want but ya know power dynamics due to him being sherman oaks staff or whatever so. im HOPING as the party with the upper hand in that scenario he turns her down or whatever. maybe she even waits until after this to go after ethan - make both ben and paxton jealous, kill two birds with one stone

i have no idea what else im hoping for and this is straight up a Wall of text aksjdss;d im SO SORRY u know how i get !!!!!

#to the other asks i promise i will get to u soon <3 im still at work n honestly probably shouldnt have even answered this jsut yet...#but oh well!!!!#nhie s4 spec #nhie #asks #grace tag #mutuals

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thisisnottherealryannross · 3 years ago

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I posted 417 times in 2022

That's 354 more posts than 2021!

177 posts created (42%)

240 posts reblogged (58%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@milothirst

@thisisnottherealryannross

@pheebebuffy

@stellaluna33

@kimberly-stocks

I tagged 226 of my posts in 2022

Only 46% of my posts had no tags

#jess mariano - 103 posts

#gilmore girls - 96 posts

#milo ventimiglia - 68 posts

#rory gilmore - 34 posts

#literati - 34 posts

#jack pearson - 27 posts

#this is us - 27 posts

#jess x rory - 24 posts

#bobby dalbec - 17 posts

#luke danes - 13 posts

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#my dad just said that bobby isnt the kind of guy you want to start fights with because hes big enough and strong enough to clear a bar room

My Top Posts in 2022:

this is my sad little dumbass who really fucking needs a hug and no one is allowed to say mean things about him in my comment section

117 notes - Posted September 28, 2022

where were you when the queen died? I was reading the leviathan for a class

118 notes - Posted September 8, 2022

I want to bite him

in a loving, soft way

238 notes - Posted June 10, 2022

okay but jess was honestly the most realistic and normal teenage relationship rory had. dean was bordering on abusive and their relationship was too serious for their age. logan's entire existence is just unrealistic if we're being real (and this is coming from a lower middle class kid going to a rich people college). jess had major issues (adhd, avpd, and ptsd are just some of the possibilities) but when he was actually with rory he was just your average kinda nerdy 17 year old with a crush and to expect "reliability" from him is insane. I think my generation has been jaded to a point of no return because the idea that jess is anything but a kid who needs help is insane. he is not an adult who's supposed to make it on his own in the world. he's school should have supported him more and they should have called luke the second he got to 10 absences.

I also hear a lot of people call dean clingy and needy so I need to clarify that dean is neither of those things, he is obsessive. they way jess becomes attached to and partially dependent on rory might be clingy and needy but dean is NOT. he is far worse.

also can we talk about how sad it is that rory was probably the first person to make jess feel safe enough to just be a kid and not an adult

back to my point about school I saw someone say he would have been better off at a school like Chilton and honestly yeah. the work load would have kept him more engaged and private schools are notorious for actually caring about their students which you see clearly with Chilton. they would have called Luke after the first unexcused absence.

also he's issues don't excuse what happened at the party. obviously he had no intention on SAing her that's clear from how slow he is to approach kissing her so she has time so say no because his verbal communication sucks so much just asking makes him anxious. and on top of that he said she did nothing wrong and went after her to apologize once it clicked what was probably going through her head. but with that said he was a little pushing about it when she pushed him away but even he said he didn't even know what to think anymore (about anything going on with himself really). he raised his voice and snapped at her because he was frustrated with himself and that fact that she was pushing him to talk about what was going on when he didn't want to. does this give him the right to raise his voice at her? absolutely not but he was going to apologize so I assume he knew what he did wrong

anyway that scene is not as bad as it's made out to be and honestly it's one of those scenes that you need to look at with a early 2000s lense because it would have probably been interpreted completely different back then

also why didn't she want to bring him to her prom? like she brought dean to a dance a her school why not jess? he was less whiny about wearing a suit too so I can see him having more fun than dean and not getting in a fight with one of her classmates. also what tf was that "because I'll kill you" bs with Tristan like babe your 16 calm down cool it with the fake tough guy shit

628 notes - Posted March 29, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

I just watched the video the try guys released about ned and while Zachs very outward sadness and Keith's clear disappointment hurts, Eugene's sadness that he is masking as anger kills me. he may look absolutely furious but you can hear in his voice, especially towards the end, just how upset he is.

4,093 notes - Posted October 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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tastyykpop · 5 years ago

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𝑆𝑤𝑒𝑒𝑡 𝐶𝑜𝑟𝑟𝑢𝑝𝑡𝑖𝑜𝑛-ρ† 2

Pairings: enemy, student, barista!jaemin x student, barista!reader, (very small) taemin x reader

Suggestive, slight angst (you have to squint), fluff

<previous- next>

Warnings: dom!jaemin, brat!reader, brat taming kinda, possessiveness, degradation, praise, thigh riding, choking a lot, pet names, jealousy

a/n : here we go again👨‍🦯

"Is it true? Her and jaemin?" Students whispered amongst themselves and thats all you heard today, wondering why they were even talking about you and him. It was strange really, jaemin was nicer and there were very little pranks and even then, they weren't as bad as what they used to be.

"Y/n! Oh my god I can't believe it!" Yeri jumped with a smile plastered on her face, "Are you and jaemin together?"

You twisted your face in confusion. Is that what people think? "What!? No! Where did you even get that from?" You questioned.

Yeri smirked and leaned closer, "I heard from jeno that you both fucked." She leaned back, "is that true?"

"I- well thats not entirely wrong but what does that have to do with him and I dating?"

"Jaemins been nicer with you and there's rarely ever pranks. I mean, anyone with a brain could tell that something is up." Yeri pointed out. She raised an eyebrow as you glanced around, making sure no one can hear you.

"Okay yes me and jaemin did have sex, but seriously we aren't dating. And I'm just as shocked as you about the way he's acting." You whisper-yelled at your friend. She mouth fell into an 'o' shape as she nodded, then attempted to walk away until you grabbed and brought her back, "wait im missing something." You squinted, "please dont tell me everyone in the school knows."

"Okay I wont." She shrugged and tried to walk away again but your hand gripped her arm tighter, "Ow, did you get stronger?"

"Yeri I'm serious! No one was supposed to know and now everyone knows!" You slowly let go of her and stared at the ground, "i swear Im gonna kill that boy!"

Yeri snickered and patted your shoulder, "Dont you mean fuck him?"

"YERI!!"

Order after order, customer after customer, you began to wear down after a hard days work. Irene stayed for a bit at yours and jaemins station to help since it was so busy. And it still wasn't fast enough for all the orders that just kept coming. It felt like you weren't going to finish and the shop closed at 8:30, it was currently 8:17.

"Ugh why is there so many orders at this time?" Irene groaned from exhaustion, jaemin snickered.

"Just be happy we get payed after this." He said and you all agreed.

Everything seemed to suddenly slow down at the cafe as it was beginning to close. Only a few orders were actually left and after that, you could close.

Irene and jaemin cleaned up the stations. Of course Irene left first afterwards, and you counted the money at the register. And since youve been working here for almost 2 years, counting money was just as easy as walking. But since its been super busy today, it took you a while to count some of the coins. Only once while you counted did you mess up, but you brushed it away and started again.

"Can you be any slower?" Jaemin commented, having just finished his part.

Putting the money away after counting, you put your hands on your hips like a mom scolding her child, "Whats the hurry all of a sudden?"

He only giggled and ruffled your already messy hair, "I wanna spend time with my baby."

You tried your hardest not to blush.

"No way." You swatted his hand off your head.

"And why not?" He quirked an eyebrow as you and him walked to an empty table in the cafe.

"Cuz you told jeno what we did last night and now the whole school knows. I'm kinda mad at you right now." Groaning, you hid your head in your arms trying to avoid his gaze.

You couldnt see him, but you heard the sigh and knew he was pouting at you, buy you didn't bother looking up.

"Why can't I brag about how good you were?" Jaemin questions, leaving you to groan louder.

"This isnt what I wanted..."

The boy shifted in his seat and pulled your head out your arms, his hands holding the side of your cheeks, "then what did you want?"

Your cheeks puffed as you tried to find the right words, "...to not have done what we did last night."

"So you regret it?"

You shrugged.

Jaemin leaned back and stared at you with a cold face. He has a hint as to why youre now suddenly saying this, not only because of him telling his friends, but also because of his past with you. If he wasnt pranking you, he was making fun of you, if it wasn't that, he'd make you flustered with his words or actions. Jaemin was annoying, yes, but your reactions were priceless to him. You got annoyed by jaemin and you hated him. He didnt blame you even after all this.

"I guess im not really mad at you telling him, just more confused on why you had sex with me." You started playing with a strand of fallen hair and waited for his answer.

"I did what I wanted to do from the beginning; fucking you dumb. If you think there's another reason, there isn't." Jaemin crossed his arms with a half smile.

You stopped playing with your hair and glared at him, "No no there has to be more! You're way to nice to me now for that to be it!"

"Do you think I like you?" He suddenly leaned forward. You didnt bother saying anything and sat back in the chair, "Why would I like you?"

Its been a week since your last interaction with jaemin. Literally. Theres been no pranking or anything. It was odd, but you couldn't stop thinking back to what he said when you both were alone in the cafe. Something about that kind of stung. You dont know why but, you thought maybe, just maybe, he'd actually like you. And maybe, jimin was right about about you liking him.

"Hey how was work?" Jimin asked getting up from the couch. You noticed taemin was here too and it wasn't surprising anymore as he's been coming over recently this past week.

"It was a bit busy actually." You smiled, nodding your head in taemins direction to acknowledge him and he smiled in return. Cute.

Jimin came back to his seat on the couch and handed you and taemin a clas of iced tea, "Jaemin didnt do anything again huh?"

You shook your head, "You don't understand how weird this is. Like he completely stopped interacting with me." You sighed taking a sip and seat next to taemin before ranting again, "Wait...oh my god! Did I get played? Was he really just trying to fuck me this whole time?"

"Fu- what?" Taemin zipped his head at you.

"Its a long story-"

"No its not," jimin cut you off, "basically hes kind of a bully to her and hes always doing pranks and saying some provocative things, but magically," he started flailing his hands, "jaemin started being nice, said he wanted to 'fuck her dumb' and then she was in his bed."

"....so you just...let your bully fuck you??" Taemin squinted his eyes at you and you nodded slowly. "Interesting. "

"I dont even know why. Like it just happened." You stuck out your bottom lip and laid you head on taemins shoulder, "I can't believe I did that..."

"It was bound to happen." Jimin sipped his tea.

You lifted your head slightly off of taemins shoulder and stuck your tongue out, "You know what fuck you!"

"You both are like kids." Taemin said, moving to get up.

"Hm?" Jimin looked up from his iced tea, completely obvious to what taemin said and taemin shook his head.

"I need to get back home. Jimin don't stay up too late." Jimin whined at his friend as taemin got up, "y/n, be good." You gave him a thumbs up and watched as the black haired man left.

"Jimin hes cute." You frowned.

Jimin rolled his eyes, "tell him that next time then."

You rolled over so now you were laying on jimins lap and he gave you a look of disgust, but you ignored it, "Mans is too cute for someone like me to say something."

"Dude he literally called you cute the first day he met you." Jimin said a matter of factly.

"How do you know he wasnt lying?"

Jimin scoffed, "Taemin lying? Thats like me and you dating. It just doesn't go together."

"I dont know if i should be offended or happy." You glared.

"The latter." He averted his eyes from yours and continued watching the show on t.v.

2 classes in and your were already tired. If you hadn't had stayed up so late with jimin, crying over some k-drama, maybe you wouldve gotten a good night sleep. But because of that you looked dead. You didn't even try to look your best this morning, only throwing on a pair of sweats and a t-shirt and brushing your hair back. You thought you looked okay to some extent at least. Maybe not your normal self but at least you were presentable.

There's was only so much you could handle in your class right now too. Trigonometry was definitely not your strong suit and you wondered how you even got in this class.

People were hunched over doing their work and you were struggling with question one. It was a bit embarrassing. You looked to your right for answers but they were just as lost as you, so your left was your next move.

"I dont appreciate you cheating off my paper y/n." Jaemin whispered, making sure the professor didn't hear him.

"Sorry I'm just confused.." you grumbled, placing your pencil down, jaemin gave you a look.

"Maybe if you used your head you'd get it."

"Im not dumb jaemin."

He exhaled and rubbed his face with his hands, "Come over later ill help you."

You looked at jaemins partially completed paper then back at your blank one. You needed this if you wanted to pass but you also didn't want to be with jaemin at the moment and you weren't too sure what tricks the boy had up his sleeve.

"I dont think-"

"It wasnt a question." Jaemin then went back to his work, ignoring whatever protest you had as you were about to open your mouth.

It was at this point you even planned on not going later. The only thing is he really didn't like being disobeyed and you found him a bit scary when mad. It wouldnt be right to miss out on him tutoring you anyway because jaemin was a smart guy. With his help you should be able to pass easily given a few months.

The professor ended class a few minutes early. Jaemin and you both headed to your next class when someone tapped on your shoulder, making you curiously turn around.

"TAEMIN!" you leaped up and hugged the guy around his neck as he giggled with full cheeks. "What are you doing here?"

"I changed colleges since it was closer to where I was living, but I didnt realize you were here too!" He beamed.

Jaemin stood watching you both converse and giggle over small things. He wanted so badly to drag you away from taemin but he knew you weren't going to like him very much after that. But something about the two of you laughing and subtly flirting didnt sit right with him and he didnt know why. It wasnt jealousy because why would he be jealous with you? He didn't care about you in that way. So why was this making him angry?

"Y/n lets go to class." Jaemin interrupted the two of you.

"You can go ill be in shortly." You brushed him off as if he was nothing and began talking with taemin again. Jaemin despised it but listened to you and walked away.

You were happy taemin came to this school because now it gave you a chance to get closer with him. It was definitely the small crush that grew over the week that made you feel like a 14 year old girl whenever he said something remotely sweet.

Taemin and you stood just outside of the classroom door and you gave him a quick hug and good bye before heading into the room with a big smile.

Jaemin stared at you as you walked up the steps to your seat that was a few feet away from him. The smile plastered on your face made jaemin see how much of an impact taemin really had on you.

Seulgi and sana kept glancing back at you, snickering here and there. Something your not fazed by it anymore. Probably them planning another prank or something. You also felt another set of eyes behind you and looked back to see jaemin glaring at the back of your head. Wondering why he was doing that, you crooked your head to the side then faced the front again after not receiving any response from him.

Ten minutes passed and the professor never came. Students were still all around the room talking to each other and the room was noisy. You decided to just ignore everyone and focus on any work you could, everything other than trig. You were saving that for jaemin.

"Hey nana," jaemin looked away from you and gazed up at seulgi who was now standing in front of him, "theres a party later at Wendy's and joys house. You coming?"

You put the pencil down and started biting your nails, wondering what he would actually say, not that he would ditch on you, but still.

"Im working later." He simply said, seulgi rolled her eyes playfully.

"Ill come pick you up after just bring clothes."

Jaemin raised a brow, "ill be too tired to go."

He was starting to get on seulgis nerves as she grit her teeth, "Then ill come over after school."

You scoffed and rolled your eyes wondering why she was trying so hard. Clearly the boy didn't want to go, or at least go with her. You didnt understand how she couldn't see that.

"Can't im helping someone with trig after."

She leaned over his desk, jaemin not really fazed by anything as she kept coming closer, "I have a feeling you're lying nana."

"Why would I lie?" He replied stoic. "Y/n is coming over for help."

Its the way that literally everyone in the room looked back at jaemin and you. Such a weird pair. Now they really would be questioning the two of you.

You anxiously looked back at him, seulgi was up in his face, nose flared, jaemin remained still and not intimidated by her or the class. But you were ready for someone to say something.

"Whats with you and y/n all of a sudden?" Seulgi asked. You could tell she didn't want you to go over his house, that was pretty obvious, but its not like she could stop you.

"Nothing, she just needs help in trig."

The class was still silent, even after a good 30 seconds. Now you just wanted the professor come in and talk about some WW2 stuff so people would ignore this. But your were pretty sure your professor just didn't want to teach and stayed home for the day.

"You dont need to help her." She faked a smile when she glanced back at you. "Shes a smart girl."

Jaemin was just about ready to get up and walk away, "I want to help her pass, now I do believe your seat is over there." he pointed over to the middle row of seats, just a few before yours. Seulgi actually took the hint and walked away. Her eyes were trained on yours and she looked as if ready to say something but decided against it.

God, now you just wanted to leave.

Jaemin placed a notebook and an open textbook on trig in front of you. His eyes watched as you hesitated to do your homework. You would get ready to write then lean back in confusion. For you, something was just not clicking with the whole trigonometry thing. You even started to wonder why you were taking it.

"Look this is what you have to do." Jaemin sat up and took the pencil out of your hand and went through the steps. Despite him being shockingly good at explaining and teaching, you found yourself lost at his words and just started staring at his side profile. Admittedly, you had to say he was pretty. And his lips as he was talking made you hypnotized. They looked soft and you wondered if you'll ever be able to feel them again.

"Repeat what I had just said."

You snapped out of your thoughts and hesitated, looking back at the paper then slowly began going over what you remembered until you started stumbling over your words and then stopped when he placed his hand on your thigh.

Jaemin exhaled loudly, sounding very disappointed in you and the only thing you could do was wait for whatever he had to say, "Why aren't you paying attention to nana?" His voice remained the same, but his nickname was a complete contrast.

"Im sorry I was distracted..."

"Distracted." Jaemin raised an eyebrow, "Theres nothing here to distract you."

Although you wanted to say he's been distracting you, you most certainly didn't and spared yourself the embarrassment.

"Y/n whats distracting you?" Jaemin set aside the pencil and gave you his full attention. Yet you remained silent and let him figure it out himself. But he knew, you were pretty easy to read. This is why he tapped your thigh, trying to get an answer out of you.

"You already know. Why do I have to say it?"

"I wanna hear it come out of your mouth." Jaemin shrugged.

"Jaemin..." you mumbled staring at your blank notebook, "Can we just move on?"

"Say it first." Consequently jaemin only made things worse by moving his hand up and down on your thigh in a taunting manner. One way or another he'll make you flustered.

"Youre clearly the distraction now can we please move on. We only have an hour and a half until work." You blushed.

A playful smirk found its way to his lips as he hummed in agreement. His hand still rested on your thigh and he once again tried explaining the problem in front of you. Granted, your phone went off in the middle of his second attempt of explaining.

"Taemin texted me hold on." You reached to grab your phone but jaemin was faster. He took your phone and threw it on the bed behind him.

"Pay attention." Jaemin had said. But you decided to be a bit stubborn and decided to get up and grab your phone, but jaemin had other plans. Hence why now you were stuck in a death grip on his lap with a hand to your neck. You couldn't see his face, but you knew it was cold. Jaemin didn't like to be disobeyed even for a second. "You only listen to me when I make a move, so do I have to keep you in this position for you to do your work?" You quickly shook your head and tried to wiggle out of his strong grip, but jaemin wouldn't let you go. Particularly because he figured you'd try and grab your phone again, which in that case, wasn't going to happen. If you so desperately wanted to pass, hes going to make you pass. Jaemin doesn't care even if he has to go as far as disciplining you either. As long as you pass, he'll be fine.

"You dont want to disappoint nana right?" You shook your head again. "You have a voice, use it."

"N-no.."

Jaemin hummed and let go of your neck, still keeping you on his lap. "Now be a good girl and listen. This is the last time I'll repeat myself."

So then you listened. Certainly because jaemin would not hesitate in making you regret any decisions you had.

After his third explanation, you understood the whole process a bit more and began doing your work. Jaemin was happy to see you do the problems, only pointing out a few mistakes, but praising you after for getting them right. You'd try your best not to smile or blush by putting your head down or looking away. Jaemin found it cute and couldn't help but smile himself.

"Lets get ready for work." Jaemin tapped your thigh for you to get up then he made his way to the closet to find clothes.

"Do you have a white t-shirt I can use?" You asked and jaemin threw you a shirt. Luckily for you the dress code was white on top, black on bottom so you didn't need to worry about the pants.

The both of you changed swiftly, not really caring about each others presence as you've already seen each other naked.

Without warning, jaemin dragged you out the his car, not bothering to give you a chance to say you wanted to drive yours. And you both were off.

It was a silent car ride besides the soft music playing on the radio. Jaemin kept you occupied with a hand resting on your thigh. He had a nice hand, you weren't gonna lie, but besides you gawking at his hand, it really did keep your mind focused. Not even the streets filled with so much activity could make you stop staring. It came to the point where you ended up grabbing his hand and played with his fingers.

"If you like my hands so much maybe I should use them on you again." Jaemin said, your breathing stopped for a second and you faced him.

"I just... find your hands nice thats all. Nothing sexual nana." You emphasized his nickname with a mocking tone. But in reality it was a very lowkey sexual desire to have him feel you up again, or even finger you. Whatever it was, you didn't want to admit it.

Parking the car, you and jaemin went inside the cafe to find it was again very busy. Irene was at the register helping a customer with their order and when she glanced up, you could've sworn she saw a ghost.

She finished the order and looked between you two, "Am I missing something?" She asked, pointing a finger at you guys as if accusing you, "you never come in together nor even walk inches next to each other."

"Y/n was at my house because I was tutoring her for school, so I drove her here too." Jaemin responded and you nodded in agreement. Still, irene found this crazy.

"Okay...just get to work then..." she squinted her eyes. Jaemin was the first to get to the stations, followed by you who made sure to look at the orders on screen.

After a while of making coffees, teas, and such you decided it was time for a break, so you asked irene if you can just take a seat for a bit to which she said yes.

Only a few tables remained empty, you took one near a window so you could see what was happening outside. Nothing different. Some teenagers fooling around on the sidewalk, couples passing by, and people rushing to get to their jobs. Meanwhile you never noticed someone sitting in front of you until they blew into your ear.

"Ahhh, what the fuck taemin!" Frowning at the sudden intusion, taemin laughed at your shocked face and sputtered many apologies. Many of which you knew he didnt mean.

"How long have you been sitting there?" You leaned over the table asking.

Taemin naturally leaned over too, getting closer to your face, "Just got here." He smiled, "I texted you that I was coming but you never replied."

You pouted in realization that that was when jaemin decided to discard your phone on his bed and not allow you to get it back. "Sorry I was being tutored for trig."

"Its fine." He pinched your cheeks, the smile never left his face once he finally saw a shade of red on your cheeks. Moreover, the two of you kept conversing for about 5 more minutes. Taemin talked about how jimin was bored all day from not seeing you at home so he went over to comfort him. You chuckled at the thought of jimin sadly laying against his friend and playing video games, trying not to feel bored. It made you happy that you had that kind of impact on him, knowing damn well no matter how much he said he said you weren't fun, that was a lie.

"I have to go. I'll make sure to come by later." With that taemin and you stood up and gave each other a hug. What surprised you was the lips on your cheek, giving you a bunch of butterflies in your stomach. "Bye y/n." Taemin winked and walked out the cafe.

Alarmed and flustered by what happened, you steadily walked back to the counter and just stopped there.

One might consider that to be a cute thing to see in a cute little cafe but jaemin thought otherwise and he was quite literally done with this.

"Come here." Jaemin made a finger motion to you and took you to the back of the cafe, away from the bustling people. "Whats with you and that taemin dude?"

"Why do you care?" You tilted your head up at him with a smirk. If you can manage to successfully push jaemins buttons and walk away with it, this would be the best day ever.

Jaemin took your chin in his index and thumb, bringing your face closer, "I asked you a question. I expect an answer."

"I dont have to answer if I dont want to." You tried swatting his hand away from your chin but he only moved down to your neck, causing you to gasp at the sudden squeeze. Basically, jaemin was choking you out of jealousy. "H-hes just m-my friend." You stuttered as you told the truth expecting jaemin to now let go, but he only softened his grip.

"I hate him."

"You dont know him." You mocked back and jaemin lazily rolled his eyes.

"I dont care if I dont know him I hate the fact that hes with you." Jaemin growled, letting your neck go.

You took the chance to let out a laugh at his frustrated face. This was entertaining to you and for once you had the upper hand, "so youre saying you're jealous?"

Roughly, jaemin slammed your back against the building with his face only mere centimeters from yours. You could smell the scent of mint in his breath too. "Maybe I am." Jaemin pushed a knee between your legs. "Shouldnt mess with my girl. And you shouldn't have let him kiss your cheek." Jaemins lips hovered over your lips. His hands harshly gripped your hips, moving you them over his thigh. Hearing the sound of you moaning out in shock, jaemin captured your lips in a kiss, a rough one at that.

His anger was through the roof and he showed that. "Youre mine and only mine. I'm the only one who can touch you like this, kiss you like this." Jaemin kissed down your jaw, still grinding your core on his thigh. You tried silencing your whimpers by biting your hand, but jaemin was quick to stick his fingers in your mouth, causing you to gag and choke.

Without a moments hesitation, jaemin pulled away from your neck to watch you suck around his fingers and he laughed through an angry aura, "If only taemin could see how much of a slut you are for me, maybe he would back off." You whined around his fingers and he pushed deeper down your throat. Your hips stuttered a bit, but kept moving forward, trying to get more friction.

"Such a stupid little girl for nana." Jaemin ruthlessly began fucking your throat with his fingers, "Are you gonna cum out here? What if somebody walks out and sees?" Your eyes rolled back and jaemin hummed still keeping the pace with his fingers and helping you move your hips. "Aww but I bet you wouldn't care. Since your so eager to cum and all." You gripped his wrist becoming more and more desperate to reach your high. Indeed you were so close that you started seeing stars, but jaemin pulled his thigh and fingers away.

"Were you about to cum?" He laughed in your face sadisticly. Your face heated up in embarrassment. "Stupid girl."

Cooing at your red face, jaemin brought you into another kiss, much softer than before but enough to know who's in charge.

"Lets get back to work, yeah?" Jaemin tapped your cheek with his two fingers and walked away leaving you hot and bothered.

Naturally you wouldve followed but you literally almost came in your pants just outside of your work. What were you thinking letting jaemin do that to you? And why did he have such an affect on you to the point that you forgot about what happened with taemin. You couldn't stand out here any longer and went inside. Jaemin was calm as if you didn't almost just get off on his thigh and sucked his fingers off. God this boy was doing something to you and you couldn't take it!

Working next to him seemed even more difficult. You were a hot mess, plus you were horny and honestly jaemins existence wasn't helping. And now, especially now, you realized that lasting until 8:30 was going to be a train wreck.

The school day was normal, yeri was hyper as always and cracking jokes making you spit out your banana milk. And her constant teasing about jaemin was nothing different. Of course you told her what happened the other day, she's your best friend, and she was blown away. Yeri wasn't expecting such news to be dropped on her like that and you couldnt blame her, only shrugging your shoulders and sipping your banana milk.

Stopping mid sip, you saw the boy you were subtly looking for; jaemin. Your reason? Well even you didn't know but your for sure were going to come up with something.

For the past few days jaemin never left your mind. Even when you saw him he always lingered. You could say you missed him. Besides that, taemin was never on your mind anymore. Just jaemin. It was like your mind needed him.

So you got up from your seat, yeri looked up confused and watched as your legs took you to your destination. Your heart was beating rapidly and you weren't even sure how this would go. Either you'll die from embarrassment or be the happiest girl alive. It was the anticipation.

You sucked in a deep breath once you got to him, jaemin peered up at you with curiosity, some other students even found your boldness interesting, until you spoke, "Wanna go out with me?"

#nct smut #nct #nct 127 #nct dream #nct u #wayv #nct 2020 #na jaemin smut #na jaemin #jaemin #jaemin nct dream #na jaemin nct #kpop smut #kpop

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huntertherapyeras · 3 years ago

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Still off my rocker about your toh gymnastics au….. I hope you don’t mind questions feel free to ignore this if so BUT . I’m very curious how the Luz/Willow/Gus friendship develops, if it does, and also everyone’s strengths in the sport…. and whatever other aspects of the au you want to talk about …. 🙏

omg i LOVE questions and i am so excited tk answer!

so willow is just generally an amazing person and when luz comes to her first jo 2 team practice willow is super welcoming and helps her learn the beginning stretch routine! theyre the same age even though willow is a level 4 and willow has been at the gym a really really long time (the only reason shes only in jo 4 is that shes afraid of high bar and has trouble with her bar skills generally partially because her upper body strength isnt great.) she sees a kindred spirit in luz and is excited to have someone her age at her practices in particular because shes the oldest in jo 4! and willow introduces luz to gus since willow and gus tend to hang out together during snack for longer practices! (in this au willow is lonely ... she and amity used to be in the same group and very close but willow picks stuff up slower and when amity skipped jo 5 and moved straight to 7 when they were 10 amity's mom forced amity to stop talking to her)

onto strengths!

so with luz, she actually has a lot of raw natural talent. but she only took tumbling with eda so her knowledge of basic gymnastics is limited! like for instance the first time she touches the bars she picks up a chin up pullover right away but she doesn't know about pointing her toes, staying hollow, straight legs etc. this is why she is in jo 2 - to learn form and basics and still compete. im toying with the idea that the gym doesnt actually have an xcel program until the season after luz starts there, which is why she and willow switch over as the first group.... yknow what im gonna stick with that i like it. but yeah! luz's tumbling skills are way more advanced than her vault, beam, and bars for form reasons mainly. if she did tramp and tumble instead of artistic she could probably easily compete t&t jo 6. she does pick up very fast though for someone who didn't do any sport until she was 11!

(fun fact i actually helped build my old gyms xcel team a few years back as an assistant coach - i loved it. only stopped coaching because of the pandemic and by the time i went back id lost my spot. it was. heartbreaking. the kids barely remembered me... anyways... just a little aster lore in there for ya 💜)

onto willow!!! her floor is also very advanced, she is working on twisting layouts at open gym. her vaults are lovely! her beam is really solid too, like level 4 is really child's play for her but her bars holds her back a lot. she deals with undiagnosed hypothyroidism and the beginnings of pcos which can cause one to naturally have a bigger build and chronic fatigue as well. bars was never her strong suit but when she hit puberty she ended up gaining weight and it can be hard to rebuild upper body strength in that situation (this comes from personal experience btw). theres nothing wrong with being fat! that being said, fatphobia in gymnastics is a HUGE issue, like really bad. moving into xcel is really amazing for her though! because theres a lot less pressure in the xcel program and its mostly about accessibility :3

because amity is hypermobile, she's very flexible and has lovely lines and dance. a lot of her skills are based around her strength in contortion (to her detriment, as party tricks can cause a lot of pain later on for hypermobile folks). bars is a little more difficult for her, but she puts a lot of work into conditioning and training even outside the gym in order to make it unnoticeable. vault and tumbling and bar dismounts cause her a lot of pain that she basically just represses because the high impact is just a lot on her joints. she experiences dislocations and subluxations fairly regularly but has learned to just put whatever joint back in and move on with her day - she takes a lot of ibuprofen as a result x.x. she is EXTREMELY talented but also highly motivated and perfectionistic. her mom puts a lot of pressure on her to be at the top and she also has to deal with being in her already elite older siblings' shadows. its not a fun time for her :( things get better when she loosens up a little though!

gus is Great at everything. hes a level 6/7 training 9 at 10 years old and has no fear whatsoever - literally none. he'll try anything, he doesnt give af. but he struggles with connecting with his teammates because he is both the youngest in his group and one of the best, so people are very jealous of his ability and success

oh also theyre all autistic. all of Them.... luz also has adhd. amity deals with maladaptive daydreaming and dissociation (so real...) and luz comes out as nonbinary when shes older.... [starts screaming]

they are the babiest and i love them with all my soul!!! 🥺

#toh gymnastics au #gymnastics au #toh #aster.exe #my aus

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klugpuuo · 4 years ago

Text

hi so i wrote a lemschez fic like. two months ago and i'm posting it now. warnings for mention of food, way too many innuendos (including some i didnt intentionally make, which prolly means something..), mentions of violence, and near-shirtlessness near the end (which isnt sexual but still)

uh. Enjoy fgnhj

Lemres was shocked, to say the least. This odd, slightly giddy feeling they experienced every four years came in not four, but simply one. They were already beginning to shake as he was walking down the street, even! Alright, Lemres, just a bit further now, they thought to reassure themself. Soon you'll be home, and you'll be able to siphon and battle to your heart's content.

Then there was a problem. More than that, a roadblock.

Schezo stood there, begging random passerby and yelling what just barely wasn't obscenities. “Please! I just need someone to point me in the direction of the desert!" He said desperately, "I have something important I need to do there. I promise it won’t bother any of you!” Just as he was about to begin ranting again, Schezo saw Lemres staring at him with a very strange expression. Lemres waved to him, and he hesitantly waved back. “Hey, Dark Mage~! Need any help?” Lemres called cheerfully. “In fact, I do, Comet mage!” Schezo responded, not surprised at Lemres knowing but rather at Lemres asking. “I need to get to the desert immediately, as there is something I need to do there, but I cannot find my way by myself.” Lemres smiled a strange smile that made Schezo feel a bit concerned. “Alright, I can bring you there.. But for a price.” The comet mage said, their slightly loopy grin widening at the end of his sentence.

Schezo was confused, but nodded slowly to his companion, and then they were off. Before reaching the desert, they ended up getting caught in quite a few Puyo battles. Something the now half-lucid Lemres thought was concerning was that their rush didn't halt even slightly during any of the battles, and something the fully lucid Schezo thought was concerning was the fact that Lemres kept giggling and was doing a fairly bad job at the games they played.

When the two reached the desert, Schezo stole a look at the now very clearly loopy Lemres and felt well and truly concerned. “Are you-“ He began. “Alright?” Lemres answered with a chuckle. “Yes, I’m ju~st fine, no worries~" This did nothing to calm Schezo, especially after he realized how odd Lemres sounded. Just as Schezo opened his mouth to say something, Lemres began to speak. "..However, I still want my payment." They said. “You never told me what it is you wanted!” Schezo exclaimed, worry now partially replaced with indignation. “Yes, yes, that’s true, isn’t it…?” Lemres said, faking being deep in the thoughts they didn’t have. “Well.. how about this - once you’re done with whatever you’re gonna do here, you’ll come to my house and I’ll show you what I wanted, deal?”

Just as Schezo said “Deal”, Lemres nodded and walked off into the desert, leaving Schezo completely alone. “How odd!” Schezo remarked, trying and failing to find his companion in the wastes all around him. “They seem to have completely disappeared. And what exactly was wrong with their attitude? Something entirely strange is afoot here.."

After Schezo was confident that the ritual worked, he checked the time. The sun was setting now, and he knew if he didn’t hurry it would get too cold; the crystals he used in the ritual tended to break when introduced to anything too far below room temperature, but not before turning a deep blue. “I don’t want to have blue balls,” Schezo announced to himself. “So I better head to Lemres’s house before the night comes.”

As Schezo walked to Lemres's house, he was surprised to see there were very few people around, and none offered to battle him. Although he was thankful for this, as he had to bring the crystal balls somewhere warm soon, he was also just as confused. Had a strong enemy beaten them all already?.. It was unlike the people of this world and many others to just.. not offer to battle on sight. He shook his head as he continued on. There were very few people that were strong enough to beat people so hard they'd not battle again. Sure, one of those people had definitely come through here, but..

Schezo, lost in thought and unaware of where he was going, nearly walked straight into Lemres's house before regaining his senses right in front of the door. After more gently shaking his head, the dark mage knocked on the door. He didn't have to wait for too long before Lemres opened the door, bouncing slightly on their toes. "Hey, dark mage." Said Lemres, sounding incredibly hyper. "Hello, comet mage," Replied Schezo, carefully hiding his concern for his friend. "I am here to put my crystal balls somewhere safe, and to repay the supposed debt I owe you." At this, Lemres grinned. "Alrighty, come in before it gets too cold." They said, stepping out of the way to let the concerned mage inside. "Why don't you join me for dinner first? Meat and potatoes, plus pineapple ice-cream for dessert~!"

The dark mage shook his head as he entered the home, crossing his arms. "The most I am right now is thirsty- thirsty for knowledge! What exactly did you want me to do for you, and why were you so intent on avoiding all mention of it?!" Lemres didn't flinch as their friend's voice rose to a yell, knowing that he wasn't angry at all, just overdramatic. "Good things come to those who wait, and both of us have waited quite some time now.." Lemres started, shutting the door behind Schezo. "Alright. Come upstairs with me, and I'll show you want I need from you." Schezo nodded to Lemres before heading upstairs fairly quickly, leaving the comet mage behind for just a few seconds. The comet mage shook themself a bit before heading upstairs to meet with him.

As Schezo entered the bedroom, the first thing he thought was how nice it looked. On a desk were several candles that burned softly with magical fire; there was small bookshelf with many books about herbs, cooking, magic, and assorted battle types lining the shelves and sorted by size and color; and several small model planets floated above it all. It felt like a home. After Lemres entered the room, Schezo snapped out of his trance and suddenly felt very awkward. At this moment he had also realized that this was the first time he had ever been in someone else's bedroom, which caused him to feel even more awkward. "S-so." Schezo started, unable to hide how embarrassed he felt. "What do you want me to do to- for, you?" Lemres chuckled softly. "Just take off your armor and get comfortable." They said, gently leading Schezo to the bed. Schezo, shocked and flustered, stuttered a bit and refused to sit down. Upon noticing this, Lemres attempted to make their expression a bit softer. "Don't worry, I won't hurt you." They said, trying their hardest to calm both themself and Schezo down. "I just need you to take your armor off for a bit. You can keep your sword, if you want." At this, Schezo definitely calmed down. Recalling that Lemres couldn't really see unless they wanted to use a lot of extra energy, he felt slightly more comfortable as he slowly took his armor off until he was only wearing his undershirt and pants. After he finished and sat down on the bed, Lemres followed suit, taking off their clothes until they were only wearing their binder and own slightly longer pants.

Schezo opened his mouth to speak, but Lemres put a hand on his shoulder and he realized that now was simply not the time for words. He laid down on the bed, and Lemres laid down next to him, putting one of their hands on his chest. Well this was... interesting, Schezo thought as he felt the quite literal magic in the air. Understanding flowed through him as the planet models shimmered above the resting couple. So that was why they avoided me, and that was why they were cryptic toward me, and that.. He snapped back to reality as he felt their other hand move onto his shoulder, and against everything he had ever thought before he moved his hand to meet theirs and held it. Even Lemres themself seemed surprised by this reality, but accepted it happily and gratefully.

So Lemres got to siphon their energy out in a safe way, and Schezo experienced something new. And, for now, it seemed like things were alright.

#lemres #schezo #lemschez #homoromanticism #ficlet #shipping #shipping cw #fanfiction #uh #these are really short tagd im not used to this/lh #beeper writes #god this isnt really good huh #uhhh #sfw #bbbbbb #thats it #enjoy/gen

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in-a-cave-with · 5 years ago

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Hey, I sent an ask talking abt how Tony’s ego flaw isn’t a bad thing. I did read old im comics ..& yes I did find him boring. It’s only after Ellis run did I enjoy the character. Tony has always had an ego. Stan Lee created him for controversy. Even preMCU, he always thought he could make decision for everyone ie AW&CW. His ego has always been there. Idk why some of u want him to be this overtly emotional fragile insecure man that he isnt . Yall projecting ur insecurities on the character. Stop

there is so much to unpack here.

1. "yes i did read old iron man comics yes i did find him boring.” once again confirming that you have no taste and cannot read .

in the wise words of @mayormurdock,

1.5. and also saying that “stan lee created him for controversy” even though you’re bent on trying to tell me that older comics some of which were written by stan lee are bad actually ???? please pick a struggle

2. i’m ...genuinely curious as to how you read ellis’ run and maintained that tony’s Huge Ego is a thing that exists when

like. jfc you’re missing the ENTIRE point if you read iron man: extremis and your takeaway is “his huge ego is his biggest flaw” NO. SHUT UP. one of the biggest themes of ellis’ run is tony’s struggle with morality and doing the right thing. how much his decisions and mistakes can hurt people because of how much power he has and the things that he could do to help people if he wasn’t iron man but doesn’t and how he KNOWS this and struggles to “look at himself in the mirror”. it’s establishing a darker aspect to a character who’s been around for a really long time and taking it in a new direction, building on the theme of guilt and responsibility in the older comics (that you can see in some of the screenshots in this post).

3. i think i literally already explained this before but civil war is a badly written comic and a stupid concept and it is only partially saved by the writers who actually understand tony and steve (i.e. bendis, the knauf brothers, brubaker). here is a meta i wrote for tony during civil war

also i feel like you’re confusing “ego” with tony’s control issues, which is an actual flaw that he canonically has??. multiple times throughout imv1 (most notably in armor wars) his technology is used for a bad purpose/he’s indirectly responsible for something bad happening. in imv3, the iron man suit is used to kill rumiko. in the arc following ellis’ run in imv4 (execute program), tony gets his brain hacked and causes the deaths of multiple people. the point is that tony feels responsible for the bad things that happen because of his actions or situations that got out of his control (because he knows he had the power to stop them but he didn’t), which is why he tends to self-isolate and take things into his own hands without telling anyone. it’s not because he thinks he’s better than everyone so he Must make decisions for them, it’s because he genuinely fears not being able to stop something bad from happening when he has the ability to do so. this is also connected to how tony views himself as the “futurist”: he actively shapes the future and tries his hardest to create a good one. i think this bit in what if? civil war really nails it

and also this:

4. this would be really fucked up if i was projecting all of this onto tony lmfao i am not making this up!!!!!!! this is canon!!!!!!!! ft some quotes from some official marvel people to end this bc ahhhh why is this so long

-alejandro arbona (the editor for invincible iron man) in iron man #500

-gerry conway via the literal wikipedia page for iron man

#long post #by the way i’m not turning off anon out of some self destructive brainrot eating its way through my head #but i am seriously considering charging money for cringe asks like this #AHHHHHHH THE READMORE BROKE IM SORRY EVERYONE

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stardancerluv · 4 years ago

Text

Reflections

Part 13

Summary: New developments!

Warning: lots of kisses, a delicate way of them making love.

Note: I needed to decided what direction I wanted to take one of my favorite characters that Ewan has played. It will be interesting. Not revealing anything till I have to! Enjoy!

You checked your reflection for what felt like the millionth time. You closed your eyes and smiled when Jerome came over and wrapped his arms around you. “Honey, you look wonderful.”

“I hope so. My parents are so critical. Turning in his arms, you looked up at Jerome and smiled.

“At least I have you always will.” He drew your face up and gave you a soft kiss. You sighed and melted into it.

******

“So do you want me to stay or should we all just meet up for dinner.” He didn’t know why but the publisher wanted to see him and he had sounded urgent.

“Let’s meet up for dinner. I’m not sure how they will take it, if I have a boyfriend when I first see them.”

He smiled. “They’ll love me. I’m so charming.”

“I hope so.”

******

Everything in your body was on edge the entire time you were around them. You and Jerome and made your room look studious since the first time, since the two of you began dating. They didn’t need to know you barely spent time at the flat.

Your mom analyzed how you looked. For once she had thought you were much too skinny for her taste.

She was convinced your boyfriend must like twigs from the looks of you. You were ready to jump out of your skin, by the time dinner rolled around.

You had hoped your parents would have gone to their hotel to take a nap with all the traveling but that had not been the case.

Soon the three of you were weaving in and out of traffic on the way to the restaurant. You never wanted a hug from Jerome so much as you did then.

*****

Jerome, straightened his shirt making sure it was tucked in just so and even combed an then combed his hair again.

Knowing your parents were in town he was nervous. Why out of all days, the publisher chose to see him was beyond him. They barely spoke after he had gotten tired of things. The man had grown to bore him terribly with his possessive, jealous nature.

He had always been pretty fluid with his feelings towards intimacy but he was not into making himself or others look cheap. That publisher on the other hand fed off that. He was like a parasite who sometimes came out of his den, causing trouble then hiding only to watch the outcome or his actions.

Coming, into the store one of the publishers many assistants ushered him and and then closed the door behind him.

“You wanted me.”

The much older man, practically sprung out from behind the desk he had been sitting at.

“I’ve miss you. When is Nagiko coming finishing a new book?”

He shrugged. “Soon.”

“Oh, I hope so.” The older man drew close to him. He reached up and caressed his cheek.

“Please don’t. We’re over. You know I am with Y/N.”

The man made a disgusted sound and spat to the side. “She is merely a child.” He smiled up at him. “I am a man, I know what you want.”

Jerome, politely removed his hand. “Compared to you she is. I am finally happy with her. So please remember what we have now is strictly business.”

“Aw, don’t talk like that. What can she give you that I can’t?”

“Love. And I think, no I love her too.” Jerome finally said.

“You don’t know anything.” Reaching to the sky in his fury, he made fists. “You don’t. She will be gone and where will you be? You will crawl back to me wanting a new suit or a warm meal.”

“Never, I will never go back to you.” Turning, on a heel he walked out of the man’s office.

******

You mother chuckled. “Perhaps you are not as serious as you expected. My silly daughter. You are just the special flavor while you study here.”

“Dad? Say something.”

“Well, dear he put a reassuring hand over hers. It looks like that.”

“It’s not true you argued.” But you finally called the waitress over.

Moments later looking white as a sheet and upset you spotted Jerome. Upon seeing you he smiled and came over. You sighed into the hug after the pleasantries.

“Please excuse my tardiness my publisher kept me.”

“Oh, so you are a writer.” Your mother remarked.

He squeezed your thigh under the table. “Why yes I am.”

“That is so wonderfully fashionable. I love it.”

The waitress came, with a quick look and nod; Jerome order everything.

“That is quite the thick English accent with your Japanese.” Your father remarked in Japanese to him.

“Well so is your American accent but you don’t see me saying anything.”

They shared a look but your father was the first to smile. “You have me there.”

You placed a hand over Jerome’s and squeezed, the rest of the night was pretty uneventful. Your parents, had their air about themselves but that was them all the time.

*****

Two weeks later, you practically collapsed against Jerome, when the two of you finally saw your parents off at the airport.

You smiled up at him, as he cupped your cheek. “I never thought these two weeks would end.”

He chuckled, “They were not as horrible as I thought they would be.”

You rose an eyebrow. “Really?”

“Alright, bad enough.” Then he smiled down at you. “Let’s go and have a few celebratory drinks since we’re free once again. Yes?”

“Yes! I would love that.” A short time later with your fingers interlaced you were walking around downtown Tokyo without the worry of prying eyes of your parents.

Pulling the shades down after he climbed in after you, with a sigh he laid on the incredibly comfortable feather bad.

“Shall we order out usual, honey?”

You nodded, resting your head on his shoulder. He gently ran his fingers through your hair. “It’s ok, its just us again.” He kissed the top of your head.

Soon, you heard him speaking Japanese again. Oh, how you had grown to love how he sounded when he did.

Sitting back, he smiled at you. But the smile dropped. Reaching into his back pocket, he took out his phone and frowned further.

You saw him type quickly before turning off his phone. “Everything ok?”

“Yes!” His voice was a little strangled. You had been stressed enough. You were not going to prod if he wanted to tell you; he would. He swallowed. “So,” he started a twinkle came back to his eye. “I spoke with your professors, how would you like to have the three days off just the two of us? No one else.”

Excitement filled your heart. You didn’t care how he had managed but you were happy. “I would love to.”

“Perfect. We’ll pack tonight and leave at dawn.”

“Oh Jerome! This sounds wonderful.”

You tackled him and peppered him with kisses as you laid partially across him. He held you close and you felt so wonderful. So complete.

“I’m taking you to a much needed, traditional Japanese spa where there are hot springs, food that is divine and just you and me and no one else.”

You pulled back and hung over him. You tucked some hair behind your ear. “I like the sound of that.” Then leaning in you kissed him, easily and happily you let him deepen it.

“Once again, I think you ordered far too much.” You smiled as he only allowed you to use one hand. He held your other hand. Looking over the dishes you reached for a very delicious looking delicacy. “Do you even know how much I’ve missed your hands?”

You glanced at him over your shoulder. “How much?” You lightly teased. But then you erupted in giggles as he pulled you close and kissed you deeply.

“I missed all of this so much.” He murmured against your lips. “Especially these kisses.”

******

Later on, the two of you stopped outside his door, your hair entangled in the amber waves of his hair as you kissed. It felt so good to feel him this close once again.

You had not realized how much.

Jerome, broke the kiss breathless. “We had better not be too scandalous.” He struggled but then sound his key.

Once inside you were together against some of the clothes that needed to be were tossed aside. Picking you up, you peppering him with kisses as he brought you over to his bed.

“Oh, how I have missed you.” He whispered and with a moan wrapped up in a sigh once again the two of you were one.

The need between you was stronger then any desire to keep things slow since it had been awhile, you both moved. Wanting and needing more and more.

*****

He wrapped his arms and legs around you as you laid in the hot water of the tub. “You’re mine.” He chuckled loudly.

Turning your head you looked at him. “You bet I am. Always will be too!” You smiled at him. Once again, what would be far from the last time the two of you kissed again.

@dance-like-russia-isnt-watching @profkenobi @rentskenobi @mac-n-cheesie @xxinvisiblexx @unfilteredmoonchild

#femi!reader #ewan mcgregor #ewan mcgregor fanfiction #ewan mcgregor imagine #ewan mcgregor fluff #jerome #jerome smut #jerome fluff #jerome x you #jerome x yn #jerome x reader #the pillow book #pillow book fanfiction #reflections #part 13

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