#but people are always just weird disrespectful when it comes to lesbians

[koppaiterocker]

Forgot how weird it is when nonlesbians headcanon characters as lesbians like REALLY HARD... Gives me huge icky vibes

[hersterical]

I’ve put a little too much thought into atla slang for gay people tonight so here’s this.

Kyoshi Island:

Speaks about sexuality openly on Kyoshi Island but knows to be more careful around outsiders.

“Is she, you know…a student of Rangi?” (gay/lesbian)

“No. But she does follow in the footsteps of Avatar Kyoshi. She prefers the versatility of the fan over the sword or the shield.” (bi)

Water Tribe:

More “traditional” than the other nations so it’s a bit more subtle and reliant on accompanying eyebrow movements, hand gestures, and tone of voice.

“He’d rather go sailing than stay in the village.” (mlm)

“She’s shown some interest in ice fishing.” (sapphic)

“I personally prefer to fish in the same waters as Avatar Kuruk.” (bi)

“He’d rather spend the winter months alone.” (ace)

Earth Kingdom:

“Are you a member of the Flying Opera Company?” (lgbt+)

No one, including the Kyoshi Islanders are aware of the origins of this particular phrase

Fire Nation:

“I’ve dabbled in dragon’s fire before.” (This phrase specifically would be something like ‘I did some experimenting in college’ but the reference to dragon’s fire/breath would mean lgbt+)

“He wears a crown of fire lilies.” (lgbt+)

Even before the hundred year war they were one of the more intolerant of the nations (based on the Kyoshi novels) and they probably only got worse during the hundred year war. I’m sure they would’ve come up with more slang by the time we get to Korra’s time but I’m out of ideas for the Fire Nation.

Air Nomads:

As they are totally open and accepting to all genders and sexualities they wouldn’t feel the need for coming up with specific labels, let alone weird secret codes and slang. When nomads begin exploring the world and start to learn about the other nation’s ideologies and slang and everything they’re always confused but respects the other nation’s traditions and cultures.

bonus

Swamp benders:

Even more open about gender and sexuality than Kyoshi Islanders. They’re super casual and blunt about it without being disrespectful but also not trying to be respectful because why would anyone be disrespectful about this? There’s a polycule consisting of roughly ten people who all connected through an asexual tribe member that each member of the polycule has a qpr with. Darryl over there is interested in folks of all sorts. His spouse is all the genders. Not to be confused with Jim over there who is none of the genders. Not to be confused with Junjun who is the third gender… (etc)

I didn’t do a big deep dive into each nation’s culture and history. This is just from the top of my head and is just for fun. Let me know if you guys have any other ideas!

[planetception]

could u write headcanons for nika as a protective gf?

-🦀

Protective Girlfriend Nika - Headcannons

cw: mentions of fighting, just a very protective nika

an: thanks for the request. i hope you enjoy this one and i hope that it fulfills your expectations. also first emoji anon?

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༊*·˚ it all started when you were getting hit on by some guy in a bar after the team and you went out

༊*·˚ he tried flirting with you and although you told him that you were happily dating someone, he still was adamant on being a creep

༊*·˚ nika was standing next to paige ordering a few drinks when she saw the guy being really weird, she told paige she would be right back and she sauntered over to where you were sitting

༊*·˚ i can imagine it to happen like this, nika would come up to you and wrap her arm around her neck as she told the guy off "she said she wasn't interested dickhead, get lost" to which the guy made a disgusting comment back to her, "that's your girlfriend? damn i'm fine with you both. two lesbians? that's pretty fuckin hot"

༊*·˚ that's when nika lost her cool and swung at the guy, striking him right in the face. she scoffed as he got up and ran away to which she yelled at him, calling him a pussy

༊*·˚ from then on she became very protective of you

༊*·˚ will never let you out of her sight at bars so another one of those incidents will not happen again

༊*·˚ when she posts you on her instagram and someone insults you, she will reply back in an instant, insulting them right back

༊*·˚ one time nika posted you for your anniversary and someone was all up in the comments being a homophobic prick, you best bet nika replied and called them a dickhead then blocked them

༊*·˚ someone once called you a bitch while you and nika were walking together hand in hand, she turned around and said to them "say that again?" and dude ran away like a coward

༊*·˚ some weird guy ogling you in a class that you share with nika? yeah she's giving you a big fat kiss on the lips as she smirks at the guy

༊*·˚ some girl asking to dance with you at a bar while nikas arm is clearly wrapped around your waist? she will tell her to fuck off then give you a kiss to get the message across

༊*·˚ constantly working out to get that physique that you love so much so she can beat a bitch up if they disrespect her girlfriend in anyway shape or form

༊*·˚ is not afraid to get into fights to protect you at all

༊*·˚ you make sure to clean up any of her cuts and bruises that she got from fighting

༊*·˚you always tell her that fighting people in the sake of her girlfriend isn't needed, to which she calls you princess and tells you that she will always protect you no matter what

༊*·˚ we stan a protective girlfriend here

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two posts in one day wow! anyways i hope you enjoy this and let me know your thoughts on this. also welcome to the family crab anon!

[cursed-man-prayers]

Before folklore came out, I would tell people that liking Taylor Swift was the straightest thing about me. Then folklore, evermore, and Red TV came out. As I saw the queer themes in those albums, I began seeing them in reputation, 1989, Speak Now, Fearless, and debut. The themes have always been there, fluctuating in subtlety but steadily increasing since 1989. So why did I think of Taylor Swift as so quintessentially straight? You guessed it: Compulsory heterosexuality and heteronormativity.

Taylor was supposed to be universally relatable. When she explained her songs, she refrained from using gender-specific language. Us. We. That person. Someone. And people that as “Me. I. A man. That guy I told everyone I was dating.” We were told she dated men, and a woman dating a man = heterosexual. No other options.

Even now, Genius will remove lyric annotations that imply her lyrics might not be about a man. Even with Hits Different, Question…? and Maroon. Taylor says reputation is about Joe and swifties believe her bc “Taylor wouldn’t lie to us!!!” even though there’s so many inconsistencies with the narrative that Rep is about Joe.

To say outright or even imply that Taylor might write songs about women because she likes women is met with scores of comments about how we “shouldn’t speculate on her sexuality!!! she said she’s straight!!! stop being disrespectful!!!!” But Taylor, as she has never said the words “I’m gay” has never said the words “I’m straight.” What she has done is align herself with. LGBTQ artists (YNTCD music video, Phoebe feat., posting support for queer musicians on social media, and, of course, the Pride parade that is her list of openers for the Eras Tour).

If Taylor didn’t people thinking she’s queer, she would’ve thrown in “as a straight woman…” in her speech before performing Delicate at multiple Pride events, when being interviewed about her advocacy during the Lover era, or at literally any point in her adult life.

Writing about women from the male perspective is queer. Her dressing in drag for the Man music video and showing herself in bed with a woman is inherently queer. The way she writes songs about her love interests’ girlfriends is queer. People bend over backwards to justify the gay shit she does, the same thing people have done for centuries with Sappho, Emily Dickinson, Louisa May Alcott, and so many sapphic artists throughout history. Taylor Swift is THE songwriter of our generation. She IS the music industry. But swifties, and hetlors all the more, would rather believe she is stupid and ignorant rather than intentionally using phrases like “hairpin drop,” “lavender haze,” “all the bricks they threw at me,” “you’re the West Village.” When she describes her muses as having scarlet lips, having hair that falls into place like dominos and braids in a pattern, gorgeous, it’s just because she thinks men are really pretty I guess (insert MetGala 2016 Joe photo). When she describes men as toys, playthings, “dudes who give nothing,” she’s being satirical. When she says “weird rumors,” that can’t possibly refer to rumors about marriage, pregnancy, or her having had multiple children during the pandemic. It’s *weird* to say that Taylor is queer. It’s weird and bad and gross. Why? Because people saying this believe being queer is weird, bad, and gross.

But it’s not weird. Being queer is beautiful, a gift. And that gift comes with a world that hates who we are. Of course Taylor is too soft for all it. And I admire her softness, that she continues to write vulnerable music. Midnights (esp 3am Edition and Hits Different) holds her loudest lyrics. She’s never beating the rumors and she doesn’t want to. Even if she never says the words “I’m gay/bi/pan/a lesbian,” the eardrum-shattering volume of her lyrics is more than enough for me.

[lesbian-kyoru]

tbh now that i've finished watching stars, i think people very much lie to themselves about how much seiya "disrespected" usagi's boundaries & "ignored her feelings"—because they don't like how it makes them feel to recognize that usagi wasn't forced into anything against her will. 

i kept waiting for seiya to be this pushy, abusive person, and make endless unwanted advances toward usagi. however, 99% of the time seiya was simply flirting & usagi was... not only wholeheartedly receptive to it, but actively flirting back. aside from random oneliners where usagi is like "huh i don't get it? 😳" (which always struck me as very dissonant, because usagi seems to be aware of seiya’s feelings depending on the episode so it’s weird when she conveniently forgets as a punchline LMAOOO but anyways)—seiya and usagi both seem incredibly aware of the romantic tension between them, and they still choose to flirt back and forth with each other. it's not seiya strong-arming usagi into these situations she's uncomfortable in, it just makes people feel better to over-exaggerate seiya as this manipulative person & ignore usagi's total agency in the whole situation.

and tbh the longer i think about it, i'm really bothered by this implication that it was seiya's responsibility to idk... not "tempt" usagi to stray from her boyfriend, as opposed to acknowledging that usagi made her own choices & wasn't unknowingly coerced by a "predatory" lesbian LMFAO. as an aside that comes back to my main argument— something i really love about seiusa as a ship is i don't think either of them fully realize how deeply they feel about each other until pretty far in. usagi obviously wrestles with being attracted to seiya & feeling like she shouldn't be up until the last episode, but seiya also doesn't seem to realize he's in love with usagi, beyond flirting with her & hanging out, until they find kakyuu & seiya realizes he still can't stop thinking about usagi. as much as usagi is confused about her feelings, seiya also has multiple moments where he thinks “what's the matter with me?” and struggles to understand how deep his initially more casual feelings for usagi have gotten.

imo, people just ignore this & use it to interpret everything seiya does as inherently predatory from their first interactions. however, often times in their early scenes, it's usagi who is assuming seiya is making moves on her & subsequently freaking out about it (she also spends a LOT of time thinking about him making a move—like, to the point where it’s clear she isn’t just panicking about it but is actively kind of waiting for it to happen—but that's another conversation LOL). but then in reality, seiya is. not doing anything. it’s just usagi projecting this overtly forward intent on his objectively not-super-provocative actions (which imo further drives home the point of, if usagi is so very much not interested in seiya, then how come she thinks constantly about him making a move..... and what does that tell us about her attraction/potential feelings for him.... but again, a different conversation).

for me, the date episode & the sleepover episode comes to mind. like, seiya invites usagi to go out, & usagi chooses to go. seiya offers to stay over when usagi is home alone, & she gets super excited & says yes (and immediately invites him up to her room skdlhfsdkhfls anyways). and people would argue, seiya knew she had a boyfriend, therefore he shouldn't have made these invitations or offered in the first place.... as though usagi isn't capable of making her own choices & turning down a friend if she was so uncomfortable with the way he was treating her. 

i think the problem is that people just find it easier to blame seiya & act like he was this manipulative lesbian preying on a vulnerable girl with a boyfriend vs grapple with how usagi had control of her own actions and had the agency to do things that make fans uncomfortable. these boundaries that people always are so mad about seiya not respecting were only “not respected” because... as time went on, they just did not exist, and that simply falls on both of them, not just seiya. for the few times that usagi would remind seiya she already had a boyfriend, she still tears those boundaries down on her own—by developing really intense feelings for seiya, by choosing to spend time with him again and again, by not turning him down from the start (which she could've done if she was truly uninterested and uncomfortable, like so many people decided she is). 

tl;dr it’s not that deep, but i'm just baffled by these “seiya is an abuser & creep” allegations that have been thrown around for decades—when usagi has such obvious feelings for him & it went both ways. because of their preconceived notions of usagi's feelings & actions, people have built up this self-fulfilling idea of seiya as this manipulative abuser who takes advantage of the poor fragile girl, but that’s just blatantly ignoring the complexity of literally everything that happened onscreen. it also robs usagi of the agency she has in all of her choices and her relationships, including with seiya. usagi wasn't naive or unaware or coerced, you just don't like how she felt and what she did. like yeah it's easier to scapegoat seiya as the predatory butch lesbian who’s being creepy to the pure pretty girl, but in reality usagi pretty clearly fell in love with or at the very least developed more-than-platonic feelings for someone else & it's messy! sorry i have eyes.

[propheticclown]

TW: Rant post, acephobia.

Okay, now I don’t like making posts like this, mainly because I don’t enjoy expressing my anger if it’s not in a constructive way. But for the love of Christ can we please stop sexualizing ace characters???

How is it that when I look up Kankri Vantas (A CANONICAL CELIBATE CHARACTER), it doesn’t even take me half a scroll to find some weirdo art of him. I’m not saying don’t ship Kankri or whatever, since he does canonically feel flushed, but he had never been shown a desire to pail with someone. He’s ace, but that doesn’t mean he’s aro. THE VICE VERSA IS ALSO TRUE! Just because he feels romantic feelings, doesn’t mean he’s not ace.

Do you know how many times I’ve PERSONALLY been told, as someone on the Ace-Spectrum, that I just need to “loosen up” or that I’m “not valid” because for something I have no control over. The worst part is that it doesn’t even come from weirdo right-winged assholes. It comes from people WITHIN the LGBTQ+ community, because despite being known as the “most accepting community”, the second I don’t conform to some sexual-normative criteria/mindset, I’m the weird one, it’s somehow “not natural”. Isn’t that literally the same thing that 70-year old conservatives say?

And what do I always get as a response when I bring up this over-sexualization of characters who are ace? “It’s just their headcanon.” or “Well it’s not explicitly confirmed, only implied.” But I guarantee you that if I said that Dirk was only implied to be gay, or Rose never explicitly said “I’m a lesbian” and therefore I could ship them with a differently gendered character, suddenly it’s not good. Suddenly it’s bad, but not when it’s an ace character like Kankri, nooo.

Because for some moronic reason, despite this whole community being built on the idea of “equality”, ace characters are always treated as a prize and are objectified because people think being ace is the equivalent of shaking my ass in your face and going “ooh, you can’t have this.” WHEN IT LITERALLY FUCKING ISN’T! It’s the complete opposite! We see other people and go “While I may wish to hold a romantic relationship with you, I cannot feel sexual attraction and therefore do not wish to have sexual relationships.”

Why are we so disregarding of character’s sexualities when they’re ace or aro? It’s not even something hard to respect their canonical labels. It’s not silly or funny or anything. It’s acephobic and makes the entire point of the LGBTQ+ (that being that we’re all equal) an utter joke! “Yeah we’re all equal, but not if you’re ace.” It’s such bullshit. Again, not saying you can’t ship them, but sexualizing them and similar things is just disgusting and disrespectful.

[beautifuldead]

i was in early high school when I first denoted myself as asexual. while I had not experienced sex, I knew I was fairly eh about it; I didn't experience that form of desire towards people. Even if it was an experience I wanted to have, it was never anything about any particular person, but rather just wanting to experience something in general.

The landscape of tumblr at this time was rather ace positive. Asexuality was a well-known label, and a celebrated aspect of queerness. There were light-hearted jokes about the LGBTQ+ community about swingsets (straight people swing one way, gays swing another, bi swing both direction, pan swing violently everywhere, and ace people don't swing at all) that always made me smile.

And then everything collapsed, and the idea that "ace people aren't queer because they don't experience the same oppression" became uncomfortably loud. Everyone had a take, and a lot of people started to en masse make fun of and exclude ace people.

The basis, whether openly or not, was the idea of being "straight passing", that we could be perceived by heteronormative society as compliant and participant, when in fact we are not.

I cannot stress enough that I was there, and I remember it all. I had to delete my previous tumblr account entirely because I made a post supporting asexuality and celebrating it, and I got a wave of hate—to the point that when I changed my URL, someone made a new blog with my previous one to make fun of me.

I remember losing friends because of this phenomenon. I had people I trusted, appreciated, relied on, and that trust was broken because they believed I was undeserving of community with other queer people because, from their perspective, I wasn't oppressed the same way.

It doesn't matter that we were mistreated in ways that were largely similar to other homosexual people, through peer pressure and people trying to "make us straight" or seeing our asexuality as a challenge the same way they might see a lesbian as fixable. It doesn't matter that many asexuals had their committed romantic relationships fall apart because they couldn't please their partners. It doesn't matter that many people still joke about asexuals being plants as a means to demean us.

Because even if none of that actual mistreatment and disrespect happened, asexuals were oppressed by our own fucking community. We were mistreated, disrespected, attacked, and silenced by our queer peers simply because we didn't fuck.

Exclusionists believed we weren't queer enough because we weren't oppressed for being asexuality, so they oppressed us themselves and forced so many of us back into the closet.

It's an impressive level of hypocrisy, that we are mistreated by those who should stand in solidarity with us because they don't get it. Because they think it's weird, or it's a phase, or it's not having found the right person, exactly how they claim to have been mistreated. These people used us as a punching bag to reflect their own grief and trauma upon, to feel big and strong where the rest of the world made them feel small.

And instead, we could have stood together.

Our community online cannibalized itself from the inside out for some twisted game of pain olympics, providing value to only those they deemed worthy, reflecting the way our community as a whole had been treated for decades.

I want to make clear that this happened because of people that decided they needed to be valued on the terms of heteronormative society. This happened because of a need for external validation and acceptance from the people that hate us. I said it years ago, and I'll say it again:

The people who hate us don't care if we're gay, bi, pan, ace, or something else. They care that we're different from them, and they will hate us indiscriminately.

It's this ideology that fed into biphobia, panphobia, truscum/transmedicalism, and eventually terfism. It's this ideology that we have to conform in our nonconformity that has caused this rift.

This community has spent the better part of a decade cannibalizing itself, severing itself, dividing itself, and making it all the more simple for our oppressors to devour us.

Because we're not queer unless we experience same sex attraction. Because we're not queer if we experience opposite sex attraction. Because we're not trans unless we conform to heteronormative gender stereotypes. Because we're not trans at all.

And the last step is that we're not queer at all. Because we were divided and conquered by ourselves.

I will not mince words: this will not happen again. I will not be traumatized back into the closet again. I will not watch as a community built from the ground up for the express purpose of solidarity and supporting the divergent is torn apart by the very people that it exists to support.

Within the last couple years, I determined I am aromantic as well. But because of this experience, despite my perceived solidity in ace/aro validity, I wasn't sure if I should come out, or if I was correct. I hesitated, closeted by those masquerading as a part of my community, made to question in the back of my mind that my feelings were incorrect, a phase, a problem.

Even if I were to be aromantic and not asexual, or asexual and not aromantic, I am still queer.

And now history repeats itself, and a new wave of self-proclaimed judges of queer validity try to take this away from us, and a new wave of asexuals and aromantics are at risk of feeling this same struggle.

It is with no respect, and seething rage, that I say this: anyone who repeats the past is not welcome here. Anyone who seeks to divide our community again is not welcome here.

If you come here to this website to spew hatred and vile at the members of your own community, you are not welcome on this website. You will not repeat the past without consequence again.

If you believe in any such way that queerness requires some amount of conformity beyond not being cishet, you are not welcome here.

In short, and with absolute hatred:

Aphobes, get the fuck off my website. We will not do this again.

[crush-like-that]

I just saw someone saying nico is bisexual because some people on tiktok make the fact nico is gay his whole personality, which is wrong and weird because he's such a well written complex character but that's not a excuse to start saying he's bi because that's disrespectful to him and rick . What are your thoughts about this?

You can’t see me but I’m throwing up. I understanding wanting more bi characters, I’m literally bi myself. I get it, it’s almost always “this character is gay!” “this one is lesbian!” but I don’t know where we have a character coming out as bi comfortably. That being said. Nico is gay!!!!! It’s a massive part of his character and his story. The amount of drama and internalized homophobia that kid went through… he already felt like such an outcast, being gay only added to it.

Being gay is NOT Nico’s whole personality and that is soooo obvious in the books. People deciding to headcanon him as bi because of Other People’s interpretations of him are just. Losers.

He’s moody, he’s grim, he doesn’t understand human interaction, he gets confused when teenagers interact with him in a ‘normal teenager’ way, he loves his sister, he loves his friends. And he’s gay. It’s NOT his whole personality. I want one queer person to look at me and tell me they didn’t feel at least a little bit odd, a little different, when they realized they were queer. Nico was a thirteen, fourteen year old boy who was raised in the nineteen forties then lost everything. He was a kid who had no guidance, no gentle hand, no caring figure to accept him. He felt outcasted for everything that he was. People didn’t like him, he knew that. Imagine if they found out he was gay. Not only was he gay, he was carrying the burden of a crush on the person he should hate most. Being gay is not Nico’s whole personality, but the troubles that came with it were a large part of him until he learned to cope.

[cariadlovescodwomen]

cariad’s obsession with the female call of duty characters is starting to get unhealthy (it has been for quite a while)

valeria, kate, farah 💞

-

valeria garza might have committed many heinous crimes, but who hasn’t? :). don’t act like you’re innocent. let’s be partners in crime, val, forget about everyone else. (i’m losing it)

(i would do anything for that woman, oh my GOD. i’d let her shoot me)

i just wanna be kate’s wife. that’s all i want out of this life. maybe i have a thing for older women, maybe i have a thing for american women.

(that sounds odd, lmfao, idk what it is. y’know when a character has a non-american accent, and in every fanfic it’s always pointed out? “their deep british accent rung through your ears”? i’m like that with american accents, for some reason?? american accents are deemed the norm, so no one pays attention when a character has a standard northern american accent, but i love them 😭 and southern american accents)

i want farah to teach me how to ride a motorcycle. please, ma’am. i just wanna spend any amount of time with farah, tbh. she’s so beautiful, and smart, and strong, atkajsksksk.

(side note - i feel so weird calling a woman “ma’am” because i call my actual mother “mam” and the pronunciation (the pronunciation i use for “ma’am” anyway) is literally the same)

-

operators you probably don’t care about 💞 (calisto, stiletto, roze, kleo, nova, luna)

-

fuck the royals 🤬, fuck the royals 😏. look, she seems pretentious af, but i love her for it. what was that one voice line? “can i play with you? mhm.” what does that mean, calisto???

(my hearing is shit so if that’s not what she said, don’t tell me :). i’d rather pretend, LOL)

most of the content i see for stiletto is shipping her with könig. she is literally dating me, how dare you disrespect our relationship like that. i could treat a woman better than him, anyway 🙄.

(sorry, könig, you’ve become my punching bag, i promise i don’t actually hate you. i’m just jealous of your fans, that’s all)

rozlin goddamn helms. she was once a shadow, right? no wonder she left that company. i could treat my employees better than graves could. back to actually talking about roze herself, mw19 roze had a chokehold on me, man. she’s so AH. (you figure out what that means)

(fuck you, graves, i may have stated that i liked southern american accents, but this excludes you (and most men, southern accents on women, i should’ve clarified))

kleopatros gavras. that woman. now, where the hell is the hype for her? i feel she’s very smart, and obviously very strong. i love smart women. i love strong women. i love women. doesn’t seem very friendly, but i can work with that. (that sounds weird)

(when it comes to characters that don’t have official heights, i like to headcanon them some, for nearly all of the female operators, they’re tall because i said so, i love tall women)

i think nova’s actress is very pretty. i, too, love flying. it was meant to be, no? please, nova, i’m on my knees. i literally have no words to describe the way i feel about this woman 😶.

(a lot of people don’t like her voice, but i don’t have anything negative to say, really. maybe i’m too blinded by love 🤷‍♀️) (that was embarrassing to say)

luna just seems like a really friendly person. she makes me feel safe?? even though she isn’t real?? the voice line, “alright then, i see you!” did it for me. she’s a soldier, she’s tough, but she’s also so amicable it kills me. idk i just love her, man.

(another smart woman, i fucking love smart women. i just wanna be her friend, lmao)

-

all in all, i’m a raging lesbian, and the women in this game make me feel things :). also, apologising if there are any grammatical or linguistic errors. <3

[genderfluid-info-blog]

hey, i realized a few months ago that i definitely wasn't cis (but I've known for way longer than that if that makes sense) and about two months ago realized that the pronouns they/she/any and being genderfluid really fits, like its kinda crazy.

anyways, im 17 and out as a lesbian to close friends (not school friends cause christan school and not family) but I'm kinda nervous about coming out as genderfluid cause i dont want people to think im weird or like judge me. i've only came out to a digital friend and she really shrugged me coming out to her off and said i'd proably just figure out that im actually cis or nonbinary so i shouldnt bother telling people a lable that isn't permenat but I don't know, i think it might be. anyways, ignoring that little tanget lol...

How should i come out to my friends as genderfluid when they've known me for like a long time and always supported me?

Hi, it really depends on your own preferences!

Do you want a big coming out or would you rather keep it casual?

Do you want to tell all of them at the same time or would you prefer to tell each one of them separately?

Do you want to come out to them in person or over text?

Do you want to tell them that you're genderfluid or would it be easier for you to write a note and give it to them to read it? In that case, do you want to be present when they read it or would you rather wait somewhere else?

Some other things to keep in mind for your coming out:

Tell your friends your pronouns as well if they don't already know about them

If your friends don't know the label, be prepared to explain it to them, maybe send them some resources so that they can learn more about it

Don't feel pressured to do it if the moment doesn't feel right. Announce it on your terms whenever you want

(optional): Pick a time and place and tell your friends that you want to tell them something/that you have good news. Tell them that you're genderfluid and use they/she/any pronouns and that you're more than happy to answer any questions they might have :)

Also, I'm sorry that your online friend made you feel that way. She shouldn't have done that, it was really disrespectful towards you. Don't let her unsettle you! Anyways, it sounds like you have great friends, so I don't think you need to worry about them being unsupportive! I wish you lots of luck for your coming out!!🩷🤍💜🖤💙

[autisticarachnid]

Introduction to me and my MCs

Hello and welcome to my blog ! I go by the names Salem and Spider- feel free to use either. I am an autistic 22 year old lesbian from Florida, and I use they/them pronouns.

Basic Blog Info:

- My main interest here is Hogwarts Mystery.

- Some of my secondary interests you might see include Phasmophobia, Venom, Criminal Minds, TOH, ATLA/TLOK, Fnaf and horror, among smaller things

- I have a taleblr specific blog, @allabouttaleblr

- I have adhd and autism. I will talk and ramble a lot, so be warned

- I’m always open to new friends so please dm me ! I’ll respond

- I generally classify myself as an anti but I’m not going to argue over it. If you’re proship or argumentative, I’m just gonna block you. I’m here to vibe and have fun.

- I will also happily block anyone who tries to being drama or ableism onto my page, or disrespects any boundaries ❤️

As for my fellow HPHM fans, the following is an introduction to my MCs and the characters in my friends and I’s HPHM AU. Some of the MCs below are not my own but belong to my friends, and I will distinguish them as such. If you would like to make your MC a friend to any of my MCs, feel free to send me an ask !

Salem Jordan: My first and main MC, Salem Jordan is a lesbian, agender metamorphmagus from Galway, Ireland. They moved to Dublin, Ireland at age 9. They were sorted into Hufflepuff, and they’re the half brother of our AU’s Jacob, Jacob Dyer. Salem ends up with Merula Snyde, and becomes a magizoologist at first, before eventually switching to become the new COMC professor after Hagrid’s retirement in 2011. They and Merula settle in Dublin and have three children together. 

- Personality: Salem is an INFP-T, with a 2w1/4w5 enneagram. They’re a virgo sorted into Hufflepuff. Salem is kind, thoughtful, intelligent, creative, open-minded, stubborn, loyal, friendly, supportive, talkative and analytical. Salem is an autistic introvert, which may come as a surprise considering Salem is very talkative and excitable once they feel close to someone. Salem has autism and ADHD and uses they/them/xe pronouns, and they are always happy to make a new friend. Salem is a planner through and through, loving to plan fun activities and days out for their friends. When not in class,  Salem spends most of their time hanging out with friends, listening to music or tending to the animals in the creature reserve. They identify with the punk/alternative/goth scene, usually dressing in very alternative/punk/gothic clothing. Salem especially loves befriending those who are into creatures, alternative/punk fashion or rock/metal/punk/goth music, and also have ADHD and/or autism. They get along best with those who also like talking about their interests and are unashamedly weird. 

- Likes: Salem likes creatures, winter, cold weather, snow, punk music, alternative music, metal music, rock music, goth music, emo music, the color black, cats, reptiles, art, sculptures, sweet things, soda, history, rollercoasters and horror movies. Best classes are COMC, Charms and History of Magic, Closest friends are Rowan, Tonks, Badeea, Chiara and Barnaby.

- Dislikes: Salem dislikes hot weather, bullies, Snape, judgemental people, being judged, most food, steak, seafood, being touched suddenly or without permission, most sitcoms, being late and strobing lights. Worst class is Potions (but they don’t necessarily hate the subject itself, their dislike stems from Snape). They don’t usually get along well with overly loud/obnoxious people, or those who don’t respect personal/physical boundaries. 

- Misc: Salem has Autism, ADHD, Clinical Depression, Social Anxiety Disorder, ARFID, anxiety and later on, PTSD. They are an insanely picky eater (it’s way easier for them to list off what they won’t eat than what they will eat), mainly due to sensory issues from their autism. They’re an atheist, but they don’t really care what religion someone is, as long as it’s not being used to harm others. Salem has a Horse animagus & patronus. Being a metamorphmagus, they always have their hair some bright color- but it’s also always incredibly short. Their hair never goes more than two inches below their chin. They’re a legilimens, but not a super powerful one. They have a number of physical tics, such as rolling their eyes a lot, twirling while walking and pausing randomly while talking. Salem is usually pretty anti-authority and leans towards being very individualistic. 

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/703506663794245632/salem-in-october-1989-with-their-second-ball?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/669310537788719104/finally-drew-up-a-proper-ref-sheet-for-salem?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/711622813002383360/salem-merula-just-before-one-of-merulas-band?source=share

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Thalia Dyer: Thalia Dyer is the main MC of the AU, and the full sister of Jacob Dyer. Thalia is a bisexual half-blood witch and an eighth veela, with her mother being from the famous pureblood Carraro family and the granddaughter of the famed and esteemed Lucia Carraro. Thalia is from Porthcawl, Wales, has three (full) siblings total (older brother Jacob, older sister Cassandra, little sister Rhian), and eventually becomes a famous quidditch player for the Wigtown Wanderers. Thalia ends up with Talbott Winger, settling with him in Edinburgh, Scotland along with their three children. She uses she/they pronouns.

- Personality: Thalia is an ENFP-T, with a 3w2 Enneagram with strong influences from types 7 and 8. She’s a Scorpio sorted into Gryffindor. Thalia is an extrovert with a very strong ‘hero’ personality. She is brave, daring, passionate, courageous and energetic, always feverently standing up for what she believes is right. This can lead to somewhat reckless and impulsive behavior, but Thalia puts others safety and justice above all, pursuing the just, moral path to the ends of the earth. They’re outgoing and very friendly, and love to make new friends. She’s energetic and active, preferring physical activities such as playing quidditch or exploring. She’s a go go go type of person, rarely sitting still or staying in one place. If she’s not doing something, she’ll find something. They’re steadfast and eternally loyal to their friends and their beliefs, and isn’t afraid to fight anyone. She has a cheerful air to her, and is often happy or good at making others laugh. They tend to get along best with other outgoing, energetic people. She loves befriending those also into quidditch, duelling and other exciting things, but they must have a strong moral compass as well. 

- Likes: Thalia likes quidditch, fast paced things, action/horror movies, duelling, flying, birds, rock music, alternative music, the color red, leather or jean jackets, warm weather, cold weather, the season Fall, exciting things, cats, dogs, italian food, greek food, savory foods and rollercoasters. Best classes are DADA, Charms and Flying. Closest friends are Bill, Skye, Murphy, Charlie, Talbott and Tonks. 

- Dislikes: Thalia dislikes bullies, potions class, Snape, immoral people, people who take advantage of others, freezing cold weather, boring things, super spicy foods, foods with a leathery or gooey texture, bland food and injustice. Worst classes are Potions and History of Magic. She does not get along well with selfish or obnoxious people, or those who insert themselves into others business. She can befriend people who are much slower paced and prefer staying indoors and reading/knitting/studying, but doesn’t usually. 

- Misc: Thalia is an eighth veela, meaning she’s insanely attractive. She has Autism, ADHD, Anxiety and Clinical Depression, and develops PTSD after the fifth year vault. They identify as a demigirl in terms of gender, but most often just uses the term nonbinary. They also thoroughly enjoy putting their hair up and experimenting with hairstyles. They’re a considerably powerful legilimens. They become quidditch captain of the Gryffindor team from fifth year to seventh year, and has remained one of the better captains in the 20th century.

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/719806216667348992/judgy-thalia-her-brothers-shirt?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/714346812621881344/thalia-dyer-circa-1994?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/699179902296014848/today-is-the-birthday-of-my-beloved-mc-thalia?source=share

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Loki Colosa: My friend Rudy’s MC, Loki is a trans, bisexual polyamorous Welsh-Mexican werewolf with no relation to Jacob Dyer. Loki was born in Cardiff, Wales to a Mexican family, and came out as a trans woman shortly before her Hogwarts years. Loki is short with green hair and numerous scars, including on her face. She initially pursues a career as a dragonologist, before forming a punk-rock/metal band with Ismelda Murk and Merula Snyde in 1999. Loki ends up with both Jae Kim and Chiara Lobosca in a polyamorous relationship, and the three settle down in Cardiff, Wales with four children. 

- Personality: Loki is an ENFP-A, with a 7w8 Enneagram. She’s a Pisces sorted into Slytherin. She’s quite a wild card in her personality, and is known to get into full on fist-fights without a second thought. She’s fiercely loyal and very protective, and is actually so fearsome that very few people, if any, will willingly fight her. However, Loki is also incredibly intelligent, extroverted, energetic, confident and street smart. She’s good with animals and is a great friend, eager to protect those she cares about. She likes to play insult or bicker with people, but simultaneously knows to not push someone’s boundaries (ex. she will play insult a friend unless they’re genuinely upset, at which point she will become much gentler). She’s chaotic and friendly and wild, but overall a very good friend and an incredibly strong, determined ally. She gets along great with other outgoing people, and those also into quidditch, dragons, punk music and punk fashion. She most often befriends those with a good sense of humor, a chaotic nature and ability to hold long conversations. 

- Likes: Loki likes punk music, rock music, the color green, alternative music, punk fashion, stars, animals, raining, cooking, listening to birds, bird watching, hair dye, makeup, making fun of Ben Copper, DADA, quidditch, COMC, dragons, dangerous creatures and metal music. Best classes are DADA and COMC. Closest friends are Jae, Chiara, Tonks, Tulip and Bill. 

- Dislikes: Loki dislikes hiking, long car rides, sand, crowds, chickens, ice, history, fishing, air planes, bowling, Ben Copper, history of magic class, boring things, stuck-up people and bigots. Worst classes are History of Magic and Astronomy. She does not get along with people who are in any way bigoted, stuck up, purposefully ignorant or blatantly hypocritical (and she will absolutely deck them in the face, too). 

- Misc: Loki is a werewolf, and was bitten as a child. However, she doesn’t outright fear the moon; she somewhat embraces her werewolf identity, though she is afraid of hurting people unintentionally. She has the mindset of ‘I’m already a werewolf, I ought not to hate myself for something out of my control’. She has four younger half siblings- three muggles, and one a wizard. She plays the drums in her band. 

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/724599764196442112/shes-angry?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/723514529329315840/drew-the-best-girl-ever-again?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/701394776046616576/finally-drew-one-of-my-favorite-girls-again?source=share

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3YdUvZiF6VBYpA4nuDVYP2?si=GUrpElL1SV2DJIILPyKvZw&nd=1

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Samara Graham: Samara is my main slytherin MC and the paternal cousin of Jacob Dyer and Thalia Dyer. Samara was born in Aberdeen, Scotland to a neglectful, workaholic Scottish muggle father and doting, history-obsessed Welsh half-blood mother. When Samara was 7, her little brother Arran was born. Samara is genderfluid and uses they/she/he pronouns. Samara tends to keep to themself, usually helping out the curse squad in terms of research rather than going into the vaults. Samara is incredibly intelligent, being the top Slytherin student in his year, and frequently being one of the top performing students in the school overall. Samara ends up with Rowan (fem) and briefly works as an archivist before becoming the Transfigurations professor after McGonagall becomes headmistress. Samara has three children with Rowan and the two live in Hogsmeade. 

- Personality: Samara is an INTJ-T, with a 5w6 Enneagram. They’re a Taurus sorted into Slytherin. Samara has a very naturally reserved, calm and collected personality. While Samara is shy, he doesn’t really dislike people; she just prefers to be on their own. Samara will happily hold a conversation with someone on any topic that interests them. Samara is also incredibly bookish, with a never-ending thirst for knowledge. Samara is almost always either studying or reading a book. They have a deep-seated interest in figuring out spells, and even ends up inventing a few of their own. While Samara is notably friendly and fair, she can be a tad overcritical- though, this criticism is almost always directed at himself and not others. Samara is always looking for new things to learn and new problems to solve, and rarely ever loses her cool or gets angry. Samara gets along best with those who are also intelligently-minded and like reading, music, nature and/or studying. He also often befriends those who understand his need for isolation sometimes and immediately respect it.

- Likes: Samara likes instrumental music, books, reading, libraries, rainy days, quiet, piano music, playing the piano, playing the violin, violin music, history, historical places, dark/muted colors, winter, gardens, cold weather, nature, storms, keeping busy, studying, academia fashion, solving things, sweaters, loose clothing, brown clothes and wandering. Best classes are History of Magic, Transfigurations and Charms. Closest friends are Rowan, Badeea, Chiara and Ismelda.  

- Dislikes: Samara dislikes loud noises, hot weather, falling, overly sunny days, being bored, not being able to learn, obnoxious people, overly bright colors, blatant rudeness and flying. Worst class is Flying. They don’t usually get along well with loud and super lively people, but they can. He doesn’t get along at all with purposefully ignorant people, workaholics or those who cast others out without reason. 

- Misc: Samara is generally emotionally distant, and can have a hard time expressing or admitting her emotions. They grew up with a neglectful, workaholic father who was never there and left their life permanently when Samara wasn’t even 15, and a mother who was genuinely caring, but often also away at work. Samara spent the first seven years of his life very alone, and so they learned to adapt to solitude. While Samara can definitely be emotional at times, they almost always have a careful, stoic façade up. 

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/717221031334543360/today-is-the-birthday-of-one-of-my-most-beloved?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/712189300427587584/samara-graham-circa-1988-reading?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/703506166554279936/a-portrait-of-my-lovely-mc-samara-graham?source=share

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Isla Lyall: Isla (Eye-luh) Lyall is one of Jacob and Thalia Dyer’s maternal cousins. Born to a pureblood, 1/4 veela mother and muggleborn father in Glasgow, Scotland, Isla is the younger of twin girls. Isla uses she/they pronouns and has curly, bright red hair and a personality to match. She’s one of the more involved figured in the vaults, and dreams of becoming a cursebreaker. She ends up with my friend’s MC Oliver Adams, and works as a cursebreaker for years before retiring early to work at Oliver’s bakery instead. She and Oliver end up with four children- triplet girls and a son- and continue to live happily in Dublin. 

- Personality: Isla is an ESFP-A with a 7w6 enneagram. She’s a Gemini sorted into Ravenclaw. Isla has a very creative, driven and playful personality. She’s naturally quite intelligent, sharp, quick witted and resourceful, but she’s also outgoing, talkative and enthusiastic. They’re light on their feet and talented at quidditch, but she also is very talented at painting and sewing. They’re quite inventive too, often painting their own clothing and even making their own outfits at times. She’s adventurous, curious and energetic, and is always doing something. They’re a genuinely fun loving person with a good sense of humor and a slight mischievous streak- though not as much as their twin, Vera. Isla best gets along with those who are also talkative, adventurous, creative and/or good-humored. They tend to befriend those who are just as fun-loving as them, or just as into creating things. 

- Likes: Isla likes stars, space, dogs, quidditch, astronomy, astrology, adventuring, exploring, duelling, gelato, playing quidditch, sweets, sewing, painting, art, diy-ing clothing, sweaters, being outdoors, sunny days, rainy days and baking. Best classes are Astronomy and Charms. Closest friends are Andre, Tulip, Tonks, Badeea and Murphy. 

- Dislikes: Isla dislikes boring things, being bored, overly spicy food, bitter food, loud thunderstorms, obnoxious people, people who brag, judgmental people, people who don’t appreciate art, overly hot days and freezing weather. Worst class is Potions. They do not get along well with people who are slower-paced, don’t appreciate art or judge others. 

- Misc: Isla is an eighth veela like her cousins, and is incredibly attractive as a result. She has ADHD and doesn’t use sexuality labels, but she is definitely not straight. She doesn’t appreciate being told what to do. She’s a seer along with her twin sister, but neither are very powerful. 

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/718849944045420544/today-is-the-birthday-of-none-other-than-the-lyall?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/686403090412339200/and-for-day-7-we-have-the-lovely-isla-lyall-with?source=share

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Vera Lyall: Vera Lyall is the older twin sister of Isla Lyall, and a maternal cousin of Thalia and Jacob Dyer. She was born to a pureblood, 1/4 veela mother and a muggleborn father in Glasgow, Scotland. She later gains a younger brother, Athan, and a younger sister, Evanthia. Vera mainly uses she/her pronouns, but likes to be occasionally referred to with they/them pronouns. She’s just as involved in the vaults as her twin, and while she initially wanted to become an auror, they ended up becoming a cursebreaker instead. She marries Badeea Ali and the two settle in Glasgow with their three children. 

- Personality: Vera is an ESFP-A like her twin, but with a 3w2 enneagram. She’s a Gemini sorted into Gryffindor. Similar to her twin sister, Vera is considerably intelligent, sharp, quick-witted, outgoing, resourceful, energetic, adventurous and good-humored. She’s also skilled with her hands like Isla, often painting her clothes and making an outfit or two from scratch. She’s just as active, inventive and resourceful as well. However, the main difference is Vera is surprisingly sarcastic- she loves teasing her friends and pulling pranks. She’s the most sarcastic around Oliver, whom she’s best friends with and loves teasing and poking fun at. Vera gives off an air of classiness with her well styled fashion sense, white-blond hair and makeup, but she can also be quite brash and does not at all mind getting her hands (and clothes) dirty. She gets along best with others who are outgoing, active, adventurous and fun-loving. She also, of course, gets along great with those who share a love of mischief and pranks and can handle a bantering friendship with lots of joking and teasing.

- Likes: Vera likes the moon, dogs, quidditch, playing quidditch, being outdoors, exploring, moon clothing and decorations, keeping busy, duelling, sunny days, swimming, painting, sewing, diy-ing clothing, stylish clothes, small dogs, divination, greek food, gelato, pulling pranks and teasing Oliver. Best classes are Flying, Divination, DADA and Astronomy. Closest friends are Tulip, Tonks, Jae and Penny. 

- Dislikes: Vera dislikes boring things, bullies, people who don’t appreciate art, having nothing to do, showy/braggy people, judgmental people, bitter food, freezing weather and overly hot days. Worst classes are Potions and History of Magic. She doesn’t get along well with slower-paced people, people who judge based on appearance and those who take things too seriously. 

- Misc: Vera is an eighth veela, and is insanely attractive as a result. She identifies as a lesbian and has ADHD. She, like her twin, is a seer, but not a very powerful one. She is a big fan of teasing/bantering with friends, but only with certain ones who don’t mind or actually like such things. She has a very strong-headed, demanding side who won’t allow anyone to tell her what to do. She’s overall a person with a big presence. 

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/718849944045420544/today-is-the-birthday-of-none-other-than-the-lyall?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/679613888641351680/the-gfs?source=share

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Fallon Byrne: Fallon Byrne is a muggleborn witch and the second youngest of seven children born to a French mother and Northern Irish father. She was born in Downpatrick, Northern Ireland on a property with a large yard that even connected to a small stream, and Fallon spent much of her childhood outside, always running around and playing with her siblings, even though most of her older siblings were several years older than her. She’s actually cishet and uses she/her pronouns. Her older siblings are Shane (13 years older and also a wizard), Lorraine (12 years older, but disowned her family),  Élodie (9 years older), Aisling (7 years older), Juliet (4 years older) and Matthieu (2 years younger). She wanted to become an auror, but she actually quit just two years into the job once she realized how corrupt the justice system could be. She went on to work as a cursebreaker, and she married Diego Caplan, having three children with him. 

- Personality: Fallon is an ENTP-A with a 7w8 Enneagram. She’s a Sagittarius sorted into Ravenclaw. Fallon is intelligent, sharp, quick witted, outgoing, talkative, friendly, stubborn, clever, confident, courageous, daring, adventurous, curious and bold. One of the more surprising aspects of her personality is that she’s insanely individualistic. She constantly challenges people and things around her: the rules, authority, traditions. She challenges the rules and norms a lot because she wants to get a better understanding of them and form her own opinion. She always seeks to be knowledgeable on several topics and such, and she absolutely will not let anyone tell her what to do or believe. She hates the idea of blindly following anything or blindly listening to anyone; she’s firmly of the belief that people should form their own opinions rather than listening to the authority telling them what to think. Her strong sense of individuality also ties in with her adventurous side- she likes to explore things, experience them for herself. She was actually friends with Tulip and Merula during their alliance, and that’s how she got into the cursed vaults in the first place. She, along with Tulip, ended up cutting ties with Merula when things went south, because Fallon does have a strong sense of morality- she defies the norms and expectations because she doesn’t believe they’re always right. She gets along best with those who are also highly individualistic, outspoken, outgoing, friendly, rebellious or adventurous. She most often befriends those with a similar love of either adventure or rulebreaking, and is drawn to those who also have ADHD. 

- Likes: Fallon likes flying, being outdoors, skateboarding, roller skating, ice skating, striped shirts, adventuring, learning, DADA, quidditch, Enya, ABBA, upbeat music, dogs, duelling, irish music and french music. Best classes are DADA and Flying. Closest friends are Tulip, Diego, Tonks and Andre. 

- Dislikes: Fallon dislikes overly hot or cold weather, the English (/hj), most classical music, overly spicy foods, bullies, judgmental people, authority figures, blind conformity, super bright clothing, stormy days and ignorant people. Worst classes are Potions and Astronomy. She doesn’t get along well with those who are narrow-minded, purposefully ignorant or judgemental. She also doesn’t usually get along well with those who are overly conforming or blindly follow the rules. 

- Misc: Fallon is half Irish and half French. She’s also religiously and ethnically Jewish, and is very proud in her identity. She is somewhat of a nerd; while she reads a lot to become as knowledgeable as she can, she also hyperfixates on certain topics like music and skating. Whenever she’s not studying, reading or in class, she’s out with friends, skateboarding/rollerskating, or just looking for an adventure. she is not one to sit still, ever. 

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/720444260962484224/the-girl-again?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/716076882883444737/two-dorks-spotted-on-hogwarts-grounds?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/704077541064966144/today-is-the-birthday-of-my-lovely-oc-fallon?source=share

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Codi Nozawa: Codi Nozawa is a pureblood Japanese-Irish trans witch born and raised in Dublin, Ireland. Her father is William Nozawa, a Japanese man born and raised in Ireland, while her mother is Masaki Keneko, a Japanese witch born and raised in Japan. Codi has twin younger siblings: Keiji and Kenna, born in August 1977. Codi is a big fan of herbology and plants, and ends up becoming a herbologist and marries fellow MC, Amaryllis Ferrara. The two end up with a daughter and a son. 

- Personality: Codi is an INFJ-T with a 5w6 enneagram. She’s a cancer sorted into Gryffindor. Codi is courageous, quiet, bookish, intelligent, observant, dutiful, polite, patient, practical, chivalrous and clever. She’s a bookish sort of person with a strong work ethic, and a strong moral code that pushes her to help others out whenever possible. She tends to keep to herself, but she’s by no means unfriendly; she loves talking about herbology and will go on about it for hours. She’s happy to be alone in a corner and to be surrounded by people all talking about herbs. She gets along best with those who are also introverted, autistic and/or share a love of herbology. 

- Likes: Codi likes books, herbs, herbology, plants, reading, studying, gardening, cool weather, warm weather, rainy days, flowers, savory food, sweets, gyoza, curry rice, her parents cooking, libraries, quiet days, muted colors and sweaters. Best classes are Herbology and Charms. Closest friends are Liz and Badeea.  

- Dislikes: Codi dislikes loud noises, crowded spaces, cramped/small spaces, hot weather, overly sunny days, divination class, super bright colors, neon colors, burnt food and rude people. She doesn’t get along well with overly boisterous people or those who boss people around. 

- Misc: Codi is a trans asexual gray-romantic lesbian. She’s a really good cook and often cooks in her downtime; her favorite dishes are gyoza, curry rice, okonomoyaki, sukiyaki, katsudon, tonkatsu and taiyaki. She’s not related to any of the other MCs in any way. She becomes one of the Gryffindor prefects, and ends up becoming head girl as well. 

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/721381214795218944/today-is-the-birthday-of-the-one-and-only-codi?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/688318588980019200/my-girl-codi-for-day-28-and-her-birthday?source=share

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Amaryllis Ferrara: Amaryllis is a half-blood south asian witch and an only child to a single father. She was originally made by a friend, who has since transferred ownership to me. She was born in the small town of Lizard in the Cornwall region of England, at its southernmost point. Her father, Chadwick Ferrara, is a half blood wizard who has dedicated himself to Amaryllis and giving her the best life possible. She’s fond of potionmaking and ends up becoming a potioneer and marries fellow MC Codi Nozawa. 

- Personality: Amaryllis is an ISFJ-T with a 9w1 enneagram. She’s a Pisces sorted into Gryffindor. Amaryllis is chivalrous, observant, friendly, helpful, pleasant, enthusiastic, idealistic, brave, cheerful, optimistic, hardworking, calm and open minded. Amaryllis is a generally cheerful and friendly person who likes talking to others and helping people out. They enjoy being around people despite their introverted nature, but she also just as much enjoys being in an empty room with a book in her hands. She often busies herself with a small project and is good with their hands. They get along best with those who are friendly but not boisterous, have a good sense of morality and are happy to both go out and do something and stay in for a movie. 

- Likes: Amaryllis likes potions, reading, divinations, savory foods, nihari, meat dishes, rainy days, swimming, the ocean, quiet days, relaxing, sweaters, the color red, winter, spring and spending time with her father. Best classes are Potions and Divinations. Closest friends are Penny and Ben. 

- Dislikes: Amaryllis dislikes hot weather, Snape, intolerant people, spice-less food, muggy/humid days, humidity, horror movies, her mother, judgmental people, being judged, being bored and having nothing to do. They don’t get along with people who are crass, snippy or judgemental. 

- Misc: Amaryllis is South Asian- specifically Pakistani, Indian and Bangladeshi. She was largely raised by her Pakistani father and therefore is mostly in tune with that side of her heritage. She’s physically disabled and walks with a cane. She’s a gifted seer. They have the unique patronus of a Demiguise. They identify as a demigirl and a lesbian, and use she/they pronouns. 

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/710356217014435840/today-february-26th-is-the-birthday-of-the-one?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/680168649050439680/an-amaryllis-piece-for-my-friend-rijus-birthday?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/674416206974959616/the-gal?source=share

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Blair Clark: Blair is a trans witch born and raised in Edinburgh, Scotland. She has a younger sister, Maisie, and they’re both the half sisters to Jacob Dyer and therefore Thalia and Salem as well. Blair is fond of writing, and ends up becoming a journalist. She marries Tulip Karasu and the two settle in Edinburgh and have two sons. She was originally created by a friend but now belongs to me.

- Personality: Blair is an ESTJ-T with a 6w7 enneagram. She’s an aquarius sorted into Hufflepuff. Blair is kind, stubborn, loyal, clever, sarcastic, intelligent, enthusiastic, friendly, optimistic, caring, curious, sharp, cheerful and level headed. She has a bit of a sarcastic, teasing side with close friends. She’s generally a pretty honest and reliable person who’s happy to help others out. She’s extroverted but not overly outgoing; she’s happy to both spend one-on-one time with someone or be surrounded by people. She gets along best with those who are also generally friendly and chill-going, and especially gets along well with those who like writing and/or will banter along with her. 

-Likes: Blair likes watching quidditch, writing, charms, muggle music, magical creatures, jokes, teasing friends, flying class, the color yellow, sweaters, cold days, winter, fall, coffee with milk, milkshakes, strawberry deserts, roasting marshmallows, baked goods, rainy days and sitting by the fireplace. Best classes are Charms and COMC. Closest friends are Tulip, Andre and Penny. 

- Dislikes: Blair dislikes Snape, tea, making mistakes, most of her family, Filch, stuck up people, extreme weather, hot weather, muggy/humid days, humidity, super loud music, bright neon colors, strobing lights, gore, loud noises and people touching her without permission. Worst classes are Potions and History of Magic. She doesn’t get along well with people who are super boisterous, constantly draw attention to themselves or belittle others. 

- Misc: Blair is a trans demi-lesbian. She can be quite naive and bottles up her emotions a lot. She has ODC, ADHD, anxiety and clinical depression. Blair cut contact with all of her grandparents (excluding her donor’s side) due to them all being very transphobic. She has a good relationship with her mom, but has a slightly more tense relationship with her father; he struggles a lot but does try, and their relationship improves quite a bit as Blair becomes older. She has a few tics caused by her ADHD. 

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/674752607479316480/today-is-the-birthday-of-this-gal-happy?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/725231003621376000/i-havent-drawn-this-lovely-girl-in-wayyyy-too?source=share

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Danae Adhikari: Danae Adhikari is a half blood, Indian witch born and raised in England. At the age of 8, she was orphaned after her parents were attacked and killed while sleeping in their house. Danae had been staying with her aunt at the time, and was subsequently raised by her cousin. She is bisexual but generally uninterested in romance, and remains single her whole life. She ends up as an archivist in the Ministry. 

- Personality: Danae is an ISTJ-T, with a 5w6 enneagram. She’s a virgo sorted into Slytherin. Danae is quiet, clever, stoic, intelligent, calm, level-headed, apathetic, reserved, independent, analytical, hard-working and responsible. Danae is autistic and struggles heavily with emotions- mainly, she hardly ever feels anything very strongly, or in-depth. This can make her come off as emotionless and uncaring, but she does genuinely like to help people and make an occasional friend. She is understandably, however, very socially inept and tends to stay by herself, as socializing doesn’t often end well for her. She gets along best with other autistic people most, but also tends to get along with other reserved and very introverted people. 

- Likes: Danae likes long sleeves, cool weather, winter, snow, rainy days, stormy days, forests, quiet, libraries, dim/low-light places, loose clothes, tea, warm drinks, hot chocolate, sitting quietly with other people, reading, wandering, spicy food, dal tadka, samosas, spicy foods, savory food, cooking, neutral tones and coffee. Best classes are Charms and Transfigurations. Closest friend is Badeea. 

- Dislikes: Danae dislikes hot weather, summer, sunny days, bright lights, loud noises, loud people, boisterous/obnoxious people, stale food, overly loud music, being disturbed, socializing, parties, slimy things, bright neon colors, strobe lights, being forced to do anything, being forced to socialize, divination and fighting. Worst classes are Divinations and DADA. She doesn’t get along well wiith super extroverted, loud, energetic or boisterous people. 

- Misc: Danae has autism, depression and PTSD. As stated before, they struggle heavily with emotions and rarely feel much of anything. Because of this, Danae is not very emotionally intelligent, and bad at reading the room and recognizing emotions in others. This can make her come off as rude, uncaring or harsh, but she’s truly not; Danae does care for others and likes to help, she’s just naturally very reserved and tends to avoid socializing, due to her poor social skills. Danae is also naturally independent and used to doing things either by herself, or in a very small group, so she does not do well in crowds or with a lot of people. 

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/695740381914136577/today-is-the-birthday-of-the-one-the-only-danae?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/autisticarachnid/682347084833308672/i-just-couldnt-stop-myself-so-i-made-a-new-mc?source=share

[carmillatism]

since ao3 is down: carmilla fic @drcarmillaappreciationweek

Sometimes A Mom Is Just A Goth Vampire Lesbian From Outer Space And That's Okay

For Dr. Carmilla Appreciation Week: Mom Monday

trigger warnings for implied/referenced child abuse and neglect, implied/referenced parental abuse, and light self-hatred

note: i will be posting this (and other fanfics for this week) on ao3 once it is up and working again. just don't want to wait any longer for this fic. first time posting a fic on tumblr as well, just so it's known.

fic under the cut

"So, how was your mother?"

"Oh, starting with the hard-hitting questions, huh?" She crosses her legs, then uncrosses them. She scooches around on the chair before giving up. She stares.

"I mean there's no other way to start it, is there? You didn't give me much to work with, so…" Carmilla narrows her eyes.

"Watch it. Just because you're giving me therapy, doesn't mean you get to be disrespectful." She tries to add a hint of humor to her voice because she knows she doesn't mean it. Really. …Well, she kind of does. It's weird. That's why she's in therapy.

She sighs before leaning back in her chair, folding into herself. "Well, I guess she was fine. She wasn't as bad as my father; that's for sure."

"I'm not going to ask you about your father as we aren't here for that, don't worry, but you said 'not as bad'. What does that mean?"

She sighs, frowning slightly. She really was going to divulge this information to a stranger then. "She wasn't actively bad, really. She just allowed so many things to pass. She never really tried to stop anyone from doing anything. She was so passive, so easily used by people who just wanted to hurt her- her kids- me. She wasn't good in that way."

"And that passive response can be just as bad as the people who actively hurt you." She cringes at that.

"I wouldn't say that…"

"Oh, okay. How come?"

She pauses, thinking about the question. Well, she did help her sometimes. …Sometimes. "She… um, well, she helped me on occasion. She taught me how to take care of myself, make food. She sometimes helped me with my studies."

"So, the bare minimum?" The question is innocent and she knows they're trying to help, but that statement snaps something in her. The very fragile dam of emotions she built about that topic crumbles. It was never that strong anyways.

She always knew what her mother did wasn't the best. That was why she was here for the Gods' sake. But she hadn't ever thought about it in that way. Her mom had barely done the bare minimum and yet she still praised her so much… She did the bare minimum and much worse so often that Carmilla just felt like she had to praise her just for doing something… kind, that she should do. She praised her for doing what all mothers should do for their children.

She couldn't stop it. She felt tears beginning to swell in her eyes. A few started to leak out. She grabbed a few tissues from the tissue box laying on the table next to her.

"I never really thought about it in that way, but… yes. If that. She did the bare minimum sometimes, and other times- most times- she didn't. She just let me get hurt and let my father hurt me with not a care in the world. And she never really apologized, more so made it about herself than anything else. She didn't focus on me that much, and if she did, it was because I messed up somehow."

Her therapist looks down at their paper before scribbling on a pad resting in their lap. Tears are streaming down her face, but she's surprisingly calm. It was almost relieving to get this out.

"And this… you mentioned that you wanted to talk about being a mom…?" Her head perks up at that and she stares at them for a moment. Did she write that down…? Oh. Right. Curse her past, emotionally volatile self.

"Oh, I guess. It's just I was wondering about how I am as a mother. I try to help a lot; I do. But sometimes it just doesn't come out right. I feel like I make situations worse when I try to help." She cringes and looks down at her hands folded in her lap.

"And what do you do to help them?"

She thinks for a second. There was a lot, she thought. Maybe… too much? She should probably mention the things she did that usually made her Mechanisms worse, though.

"Well, a lot of times I would think their mechanisms were acting up and making them feel bad, so I'd take them to the lab and get them the help they needed."

Her therapist frowns, writing something down on their paper. She closes her eyes for a moment, breathing in deeply. This is a safe space for her to talk about herself. She won't be judged. …But even so, she couldn't stop herself from judging her own words that came from out of her mouth.

Her therapist looks down at their clipboard, tapping their pen against it, thinking. "And what did you do to help?"

She frowns, thinks. Was it really helping? Did she actually help them? Or was what she did something that only made them worse? "I would usually perform surgery on them…" Her therapist seems to have to hold back a reaction. "I'd get to the root of the problem, their mechanism, and make sure it was all up to date and working well."

Her therapist hums thoughtfully, and she stiffens before relaxing. Her therapist leans a bit forward, chin in hand. "And were their… mechanisms really the problem?"

She stops at that. Were they? She had always thought that it had to have been something with the mechanisms that were making them feel bad. They usually worked just fine, but they were still experimental tech that hadn't been used before. She just always assumed that it had to be that. The mechanisms are the clear reason, so what else could it be?

"I mean, yeah." She stops. Well, actually, a lot of times when she'd knock them out, get into their mechanism, they would be just fine, running smoothly. So if it wasn't the mechanism then what was it?

The therapist takes her silence as a cue to add, "Did there seem to be a common throughline for why they needed help? What signs were there?

"Well… they seemed okay at first. Usually right after they were mechanized there was understandable fear and confusion, but they'd soon come to find a routine. They grew comfortable on the ship. I'd take them in to check on them, their mechanisms. I think it was only after that they seemed to get worse. Did I scare them about their mechanisms too much? Did I make them worried? They always seemed so scared and worried, sometimes defensive."

Her therapist just continued to look at her, a sad look on their face. Did she say something wrong? No. No. The therapist wouldn't judge her for that. She was just judging herself too harshly.

"I mean they would usually be fine before I took them back. I'd watch them from the other room, and they would seem fine. They would talk, play games and music, and destroy stuff sometimes." She thinks fondly about those memories before continuing. "And then when I would walk into the room with the news that I needed to double check their mechanism, that's when they would get scared. They'd always back away, beg me not to take them back. I can't believe I scared them so much about their own mechanisms." She looks up to the therapist to see if they have anything to add. They just stare at her before motioning for her to continue. She does. "But… well, even when I didn't bring up surgeries, treatment, or their mechanisms, they would get scared like that often. Almost all the time. It was always when…"

Her hand flies to her mouth before she can utter the next part. A noise between a strangled yell and a cry parts her lips and she instinctively pushes her hand harder against her mouth to stop it from getting out.

Her therapist smiles sadly, nodding just slightly.

She… was the problem. They were always scared when she walked in. They were always fine right before. They always got scared when she entered. They were scared of… her.

That… she can't believe she could do something like that, make her own kids so scared of her. That was… insane. She thinks morbidly to herself that it's almost as insane as making people immortal. It was insane just as much as it was true. Her therapist had only confirmed it.

"How could I… How did I never realize?"

Her therapist looks at her hard for a moment, and she thinks she can truly see them for the first time. She's actually focused on who they are. They're a real, living person that she's just spilt her guts to. "People can get stuck in their own head sometimes. They think what they're doing is the right thing because that's all they've ever known." Tissues barely made a dent in the tears streaming down her face. They were silent, however. Acceptance could hurt just as much as any pain. "You can think you're doing the right thing, but the right thing for one person can be the wrong thing for another. Kind of like the opposite version of 'one's man treasure can be another man's trash'."

So that's why they always seemed so scared. It was her. They were scared of her. She thought she was helping them with those surgeries, with mechanizing them in the first place, but she wasn't… She had never even thought she could be the problem.

"How could I be so bad…?" Her body was a coiled wire. A coiled wire, ready to be let go and lash out at anything and everything. But, well, not anything nor everything. She just wanted to lash out at herself.

How could she fix this? This wasn't something you fixed with a handsaw, anesthetic, and some morphine.

"It's hard. It's hard to know what you're doing, especially when you never had a good example to begin with." Oh. Oh that- That makes sense. "What you did was bad-" She cringes at that but nods. It was. "-but bad things happen and people do those bad things. But that doesn't always make them bad people. Even if they were once bad, they don't have to stay that way. It's not up to you to decide if they forgive you, but you can, either way, decide to be a better person." Oh. That was nice. She… She could be better. She had all of eternity to make things better. She could do that. She could, at least, make things better than they once were. That was a promise.

"I… Thank you. Thank you very much."

Her therapist nods. "Of course. It will take time, but you can become better. You can do it for them. Just… give them time and space right now. Rushing into it will just make things worse. And… don't be scared to reach out to help on how to become better. People are working every day to better themselves. I'm sure there's many people who would respect your endeavors and could provide advice. People do fucked up things, but that doesn't have to mean they're fucked up people."

That was… Maybe she understood why people went to therapy.

Her tears had stopped rolling, thankfully having stopped before she got to the end of the tissue box. She was… glad she went here. It was a lot to hear that she hadn't been as good a mother as she had thought she tried to be, but it was nice to have confirmation that she could get better. She could do better. So much better. She could be a better mom.

She smiles and nods at her therapist and they smile back.

And… since the session was coming to a close, she could ask the therapist a question. Maybe for a little more comfort. Mostly just because she was interested. Damn that cat curiosity killed.

"Do you think the mechanisms see me as their mom?"

The therapist thinks for a second. Yeah. From what I know, I would say so." They stop, then, contemplating something. "I don't think of you as my mom, though." Oh, WHAT? Come the fuck on.

She frowns before arching a brow at that, staring him down. "...Marius, now, why would you say that?"

Marius shifts in his seat uncomfortable, clipboard still in hand, but he has stopped tapping his hand. Carmilla laughs to herself and thinks they're more weary of the gun they have on their hip, now.

"Well, I mean, you just really didn't make me like the rest, you know? You didn't make Tim, Raph or me." Marius looks at her and Carmilla looks anywhere but him, just to rile him up some more.

She looks to her left then right before pursing her lips at him, looking slightly disappointed. Marius sighs and runs a hand through his hair. They seem to want to throw their hands up in the air, before thinking better of it.

"Doc, come on. You're more like a family friend than anyone else. You're like someone who pops in sometimes to see what's going on." Carmilla feigns anger at that, and Marius sighs even deeper this time, resting their head against their hand.

"Oh, so I'm just a family friend, am I? I make almost all of you, and I'm just a family friend. I see how it is, Marius." She hangs her head downcast and sniffles a bit for emphasis.

Marius closes his eyes, pinching the bridge of his nose in deep thought. They open their eyes again, and level a stare at Carmilla. "Carmilla, it's just that Raph was more the one that made me and I still don't know you that well. Like, the others are definitely your kids, but I'm- we're- just not." Carmilla notices that whilst exasperated, he doesn't seem to be stressed, moreso playing along with her. But either way, it is nice to hear where the two of them stood in reference to her. She still didn't know the two that well.

"That's docteur to you, Marius." Marius gives an exasperated sound before finally throwing his hands in the air, clipboard flying to the floor. "And, I mean, would you consider Raphaella your mom?"

"What? No!" Marius' face has turned into a grimace. He looks somewhat sick.

Carmilla hides a smile, trying to keep the conversation as serious as possible. She arches a suspicious eyebrow. "Well, then, being made by someone obviously doesn't make them your mom."

"Well-" She cuts them off.

"So me creating you obviously doesn't matter here. I think it should be more about the fact that I take care of all of you and make sure your mechanisms are working just fine. Plus, I cook for you and help you when you're feeling down. And! I do that all in a motherly way." Carmilla looks proud of herself. Marius looks… confused. "So why are you so hesitant to call me mom when it's clear that's what I am to you?" She was actually a bit curious at the answer.

"Hey! This was supposed to be a therapy session for you, not me! Also, wouldn't this break some type of rule in therapy if I was treating my mom since you 'are' my mom?" He's really against calling her his mom. Interesting. Either way, Carmilla isn't worried. She'll make them see she's their mom soon.

"You're not an actual therapist, Marius. If you were, you wouldn't be giving out therapy on a ship in the middle of nowhere. You'd have a license and some of your therapy sessions wouldn't include se-"

"Hey! Low blow! You don't always need a license from some big industry to be able to do something." He's red in the face but laughing good-naturedly, and Carmilla allows herself a giggle.

"You quite literally need a license to be a therapist, Marius." Marius rolls their eyes at that.

"Oh, well, I guess that means you aren't a doctor anymore because your license surely has been taken away after breaking the hippocratic oath so many times."

Carmilla's mouth drops open and she has to stop herself from blurting out a laugh. Yeah, she could get used to this Marius kid.

"Oh, Marius, you're grounded for like 3 years now."

Now it's time for Marius' jaw to drop. He stares at her, bug eyed. "You literally can't do that! You're not my mom!"

"You may not see me as your mom, Marius, but that doesn't make me any less a mom in general, so I can most definitely ground you."

"How can you even ground me on a ship, light-years away from any planet?" Marius actually looks somewhat worried.

She thinks on that for a second and then says, "You're going to be stuck in your room for 3 years, then."

"TIM!"

Dr. Carmilla glares at Marius, tapping her foot against the floor. Of course Marius has to try and use someone else to support his bullshit claim. Can't back it up on his own. She hears Tim running towards them and rolls her eyes when she sees Tim pop his head in through the door frame.

"Uh, what's up?" She asks, before looking between Dr. Carmilla sitting in an armchair and Marius holding a clipboard, glasses on his forehead, and wearing clothes that seem more business casual than his normal outfit. This was some type of therapy session then. Tim looks behind him before looking back in the room, furrowing his brows and squinting slightly. "...If you're having a therapy session, I can just… leave…" She starts backing up, seeming to not want any part in whatever Carmilla and Marius were doing.

Marius holds up a hand out to stop Tim. "No, no, nope. The therapy session is over and I need to ask you a question." Carmila sighs, looking between Tim and Marius. Marius always had to cause a scene (which was another reason why they were her kid).

Tim comes back to the door frame, but steps a bit back and out of the way, apparently scared of what he's about to be asked. Marius would either want her to come practice some type of fucked up form of therapy, or pretend he was a Baron. Which Marius really seemed to think he was even though it was obvious to Tim that Marius didn't even know where Britain was in the first place. And Carmilla, she would probably just stare at her eyes. For a long time. A long long time.

"Uh, ask away, then-"

Marius barely allows Tim to get their sentence out before asking, "Would you say Dr. Carmilla is my mom?"

Whatever she was expecting, that was not it. Why are they wondering about the schematics of moms…? Why couldn't they just be normal and murder people? Why talk when you can… oh, she doesn't know, explode a couple planets.

"Tim." Her head snaps to Marius and her goggles zoom in on their face. He looks… serious? Well, as serious as Marius could be.

"I mean I don't really know how to answer that-"

"Tim, just answer their question so this conversation can end." Carmilla just stares at him, tired.

"Uh, well, probably not, then." Carmilla exclaims and Tim cuts her off before she can say anything. "I mean! You didn't really make him nor have you been around him for that long, so…" Tim stops, thinking for a moment, tapping their chin for added effect. "I guess you're more like a stepmother."

"A STEPMOTHER?" Carmilla yells and Tim shrugs. Marius is laughing, doubled over.

"You know, she has a point, Doc." Marius says through tears of laughter.

"A POINT? I'LL SHOW YOU A POINT, MARIUS VON RAUM-"

"HEY. CAN YOU GUYS SHUT IT? SOME PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO GET AN OLD-ASS TV THEY LOOTED TO WORK PROPERLY." Jonny's muffled yells can be heard from the common rooms.

They all shut up, looking between each other, barely keeping back laughs. And then they're all in hysterics: cackling, sobbing, hiccupping, rolling over themselves as they try to gain any semblance of control over their bodies. But they just can't stop, the absurdity of the conversation– the situation– making them lose it.

And Carmilla, there, in that moment, as she's shaking from laughing so hard, realizes something. Maybe Mom was less about the title, itself, and more about the experience the word describes.

[anne-bsd-bibliophile]

Emotional triggers are crazy. I just figured out today that just telling someone "no" immediately makes me nervous and I prepare myself to be yelled at, blamed, ridiculed, etc. I realize now that being raised by a narcissistic father who was emotionally/verbally abusive and had to have everything his way caused me to be scared of telling someone "no."

For example, something as simple as being asked "Do you have Diet Dr. Pepper?" When I have to tell them "No, all I have is Diet Coke for diet drinks," it scares me half to death. But when someone asks, "What sodas do you have?" it is so much easier for me to answer. Then I feel like I can be helpful and try to find something they like instead of have to tell them I don't have their favorite drink.

I get that most people probably won't take it out on me when I don't have what drink they want. But I grew up in a household where if I told my father that something wasn't his way or that things hadn't turned out how he had hoped I knew I would be blamed and he would do whatever he could to push the blame on me:

I, a five year old at the time, wanted to eat the fudge that I bought with the money I earned? But my father does so much for me and it is selfish not to share with him.

My sister came home after curfew? Well, if I had been a better older sister she wouldn't feel the need to rebel like that.

I don't like to eat cereal because I hate milk? But liking cereal with milk is normal and I can't possibly be abnormal so my father forced me to sit at the table until I had eaten every bit of cereal and drank every drop of milk in the bowl. (I found out years later that I'm lactose intolerant and that's why I hated milk so much growing up.)

I couldn't respond to a text right away because I was at work? Well my father was paying for my phone at the time so I had to answer right away or else he would threaten to disconnect it.

I wanted to tell my family about my day at dinner? But my sister had so much to say and my father didn't want me taking up her valuable time boring her by talking about my day.

My mom took me out to lunch? My father couldn't afford for my mom to be taking me out to eat and I must be trying to get her to divorce him. It was only okay for my father to take people out to lunch, and that's only if they "treated him right" and "deserved for him to pay for their food."

I like watching anime? Then that must be why I can't get a date and I must be watching hentai or (heaven forbid) I must be lesbian because otherwise I'd find a nice religious boy to marry and I wouldn't have time for things like anime.

I wouldn't agree with him that detox baths would literally suck fat cells from his body and make him lose weight? Well, I was a disrespectful daughter and my father threatened to never let me see my mom again.

After growing up in a situation where it was normal for me to be blamed and criticized for every little thing I did, it became a natural response for me to try to anticipate what people around me want to hear and want me to do. If I do or say anything "wrong" then I prepare myself for immediate and severe emotional punishment because that's what I grew up with constantly. I automatically assume everything I do is "wrong" until I realize no punishment has come, and then I can breathe a sigh of relief and hope that I did something right.

That's why dealing with people is so exhausting. That's why my social anxiety is so bad. I hadn't realized until this evening why I'm always so tense and nervous. I was talking to someone about weird habits we have from childhood that helped us survive in tough situations when it hit me that I say "yes" and try to please people to survive. That's why I relate to Yozo in No Longer Human so much: I'm terrified of humans, too. Only instead of playing the clown and trying to make them laugh, I'm trying to please them and make them happy so they won't get mad at me.

[seraphic-sapphic-safehaven]

saw smth infuriating and u were the first blog i thought to send this to since u would understand and might wanna add it to the info u already have available in ur byf/dni but anyway...

i just came across a post about an interview with gilbert baker wrt his flag being exploited by rainbow capitalism and someone who wasn't even OP reblogged it with "please help out emily gwen, they made the universally-used lesbian flag and are financially struggling! they're also a victim of disney using their flag for corporate! 🥺"

like maybe i'm biased bc i don't trust or support them as is but that seems so fucking disrespectful...? that's DERAILING. i don't just dislike emily, i've come over time to find that their fans and users of their sunset flag are equally as weird and annoying regarding their opinions and treatment of queer history and other queer people.

lmk if you want the link/screenshot btw and i can dm it to you off anon for proof!

I keep forgetting to reply to this damn ask 🫠🫠 Apologies!!

I'm really not surprised by that as I've been seeing people add that on to posts or make their own posts saying it for yearsssss. I do agree it's a bit derail-y. And it's honestly still weird that people keep coming for Disney for using their flag design when they literally said that it's free to use both personally and commercially and that they don't require payment for using it.

Like, yeah, fuck Disney for a whole lotta reasons, but you can't really claim that Emily is a victim of them because of this. Plus, Disney has always been bigoted, so I extra don't know why people would expect Disney to pay out to Emily for using their flag design anyway. Y'all know these big corporations don't give a fuck about us; they never have. And unfortunately, I don't think that'll change anytime soon either...

But anyway, sorry for the ramble 😅 Feel free to message me that stuff via inbox or DM 😊

[a-frog-in-a-bog]

There's nothing "harmful" about bi lesbians. It's not perpetuating stereotypes, no bi lesbian is out here saying "all lesbians are secretly attracted to men actually" because bi lesbians are not trying to unilaterally decide what everyone else's identities mean. You're the one doing that. Bi lesbians are not proclaiming that all lesbians are bi, bi lesbians are saying "I feel like I personally am both bi and a lesbian".

Sometimes someone feels most comfortable within a particular label, and feel it best describes their identity. Everyone has a right to define themselves in a way that makes them comfortable. It's not that deep.

You have imagined harm occurring to justify a feeling that you have. The harm is imaginary, it's made up! You just have a weird feeling about how someone else identifies and have invented an ideological justification for that emotion. That's the exact same thing that drives every other type of exclusionist.

Go outside. Maybe check your house for carbon monoxide.

yeah so notice how i never said the people calling themselves bi lesbians are the ones outright saying that all lesbians are secretly attracted to men, i said the label itself perpetuates harmful stereotypes, including the one that lesbians can be attracted to men but are choosing not to be. idk if you're the same anon but i'm tired of explaining myself. bisexual and lesbian are mutually exclusive because lesbians are not attracted to men. if a woman is mostly attracted to women but sometimes men, she's bi. if a woman is attracted to all genders but prefers women, she's bi. if a woman is attracted to all genders but has only been with women, she's bi. if a woman is attracted to all genders but only wants to date women, she's bi.

lesbian is supposed to be an exclusive label. that's the point. because women are and always have been expected to revolve our lives around a man, there was a need for a word that meant "attracted to women, exclusively, has zero desire for a romantic or sexual relationship with a man." (yes, i'm aware that lesbian was a catch-all term for sapphic women a hundred years ago. but that's bc lesbianism was considered a deviant sexual behavior, not a type of love. also, bi women were considered straight when we were with men and gay when we were with women.)

bisexuality, on the other hand, is incredibly inclusive. the full definition is "attraction to same and different genders". that's it. literally everything else is a personal preference. you don't need to tack on other identities to make it fit you, bc it already does. the only reason labels like bi lesbian, pansexual, multisexual, omnisexual, and whatever the fuck else y'all are coming up with these days exist is bc people are misinformed on what bisexuality really is.

so yeah. not only does it perpetuate harmful stereotypes and whittle away at the only word lesbians have to describe themselves, it's also just fucking disrespectful to bisexual and lesbian history.

i've already given you more of my time than you deserve but i'll finish with this: it's very telling that people will bend over backwards to come up with ways to fit men into lesbianism but nobody defends or identifies as a bisexual gay man, bc men have always been allowed to live full, complete lives without women-- a choice women were not allowed to make until relatively recently, and one we still face societal consequences for.

[aroaceconfessions]

So I'm aroace. And I'm fairly sure I like girls. I don't know if I like girls and not boys or if I like both (not necessarily equally) and the way boys are socialised, especially cis-allo-straight ones, just happens to put me off as a queer girl(? Am I even a girl ? Probably not but I'm not sure I care).

Anyways, since I highly value platonic relationships it leads to some weird and sometimes funny situations.

Like, there is always this weird period of time when I make friends during which I really want to hug them or rest my head on their shoulder but I refrain myself from doing it. Because, what if they're not as touchy-feely as I am ? What if they're just not comfortable enough around me yet for that kind of thing ? What if they don't want me to do it ? I realise my boundaries when it comes to physical displays of platonic affection are far from the norm and I recognise that once I get a green light from someone I become (or rather allow myself to show that I am) incredibly needy. So I don't want to overstep and I'm terrified of disrespecting someone's boundaries but it feels weird to ask.

A lighter thing is that my dream future (I'm just starting college) sounds like a wealthy 1800s lesbian couple's cover story of being "best friends" and "roommates".

Like, yes, this is my best friend/cousin I look absolutely nothing like (those are two separate people). We live together because neither of us ever wishes to marry and this allows us to both not live alone and save money. We have pets we refer to as "our children" and our greatest pride and joy is this fruit tree we planted on the day we bought the house.