#but regardless im proud of myself :) | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

solivagantingrebel · 9 months

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I might bitch and moan about writing too much sometimes but I'm absolutely having the time of my life throwing these fictional men in so many situations.

#writing is difficult yet so so fucking satisfying #it feels like the hardest form of self love at times too because of how much dedication effort and time that goes into it #to persist through the bad days and still be like “I'm doing this because my words matter. my perspective and my creativity and what I brin #uniquely to this world matters. regardless of how badly I personally perceive it right now #also the joy of creation and community???#the greatest part about being human actually #<3333 #just. im proud of myself for once in a long time #and it feels nice yaknow #camus muses #writing #writing stuff #fandom

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toastsnaffler · 11 months

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sometimes I wish I was a more interesting + charismatic person just so I could keep conversations going bc I like sharing space with other ppl but they routinely lose all interest and leave once I run out of things to say/start talking abt things that don't concern them :-(

#and boy do I run out of things to say so fast when I'm talking to friends who ik dont give a fuck abt any of my interests...#theres only so much i can make small talk or ask them questions abt their own interests/lives yknow. man #it just makes me feel like im constantly competing with smth else for other ppls attention all the time + constantly losing #eg. when i say smth + my flatmate reaches for her headphones a little dark souls banner appears across my vision like INTERACTION FAILED #and i can feel my rsd + insecurities praying on it like the more i feel this way the more it prophetically fulfils itself #by making me less willing to try and take up space so i become a smaller and smaller person around others #it frustrates me a lot sometimes and i dont rly have the will rn to undo that and force myself to take up more space regardless #ik this sounds like a water is wet complaint like oh nooo woe is me people get bored of me when i talk abt boring things (!!)#but when im spending time w ppl i like i enjoy listening to them talk even if im not interested in the subject bc its Them talking #and if they care abt smth then its worth hearing abt!! to me anyway. but it rly feels like no one reciprocates that idk #oh well not that it matters. at least i like the shit im into so i can talk to myself abt it in my head or on this site lmao #and i like myself as a person even if other people dont so theres always that. ur no 1 should always be urself <3 #voicing this makes me feel so stupid + embarrassed urgh. i hate being anxious abt dumb shit i hate being the sort of person who worries #that their friends privately dislike/just tolerate them or whatever bc id never want a friend to worry abt whether i thought that abt them #and im not naturally a very insecure person!! i think im just feeling particularly vulnerable atm bc of the season + jobhunting so long #+ the fact im dissatisfied with my current social life + still feel very wobbly from not having other ppl i can trust or rely on etcetcetc #and thats just bleeding into other areas. and it sucks a lot. but theres nothing to be done abt it rn bc im not going to communicate it #to other ppl bc im not pathetic enough to make my anxieties someone elses problem + beg for pity attention im too proud for that 👍#anyway. gonna play some noita + then i rly need to work out today bc thats probs part of why im feeling so shite #if ur reading this ignore me im just venting itll pass. i hope youre having a nice day :^)#.vent #.diaries

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megumi-fm · 1 year

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happy weekend besties I hope you guys get to do new and fun things despite how scary or daunting they might seem

#i joined a book club gc recently and im going for the first in person meeting today #im kind of anxious and i want to bail but im gonna go and see how it pans out #i hope i have a good time! I'll be proud of myself regardless #meg.txt #motivation

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pineapplesagainstpizza · 8 months

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Life update --- I did get a decent score on the lsat and it's possible that I'll get into a law school!

#i scored 12 points higher than my practice exams which was crazy #i still dont think i should pursue law #im afraid i wont ever pay the debt back off and ill be stuck in this career if i dont like it #im actually thinking of going to nursing school instead but nothing is set yet #regardless im proud of myself since my scores were abysmal before i took the test

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mousegirlheart · 2 years

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me: oh im fine i dont need a cane and i dont need to look into whats wrong with my legs cos the pain isnt THAT bad

also me: *goes up one floor via stairs and knee feels like it's being jimmied out with a crowbar for the rest of the day*

#im proud of myself for finally getting a cane cos its actually really helping #stairs are continuing to fuck me up regardless though

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izzy-b-hands · 1 year

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S W shop talk and random abt the day stuff below. no details abt the actual vid just filming talk and me whinging abt my joints lmao, but scroll by if this aint ur thing

i just finished an hour and a half of straight filming for the u kno what blog lmao

it'll be my longest one yet, and idk exactly how to go abt it yet (cut it up in davinci and post clips with the offer for the full vid if they m$g me? post the whole thing and comment that it's an example of a vaguely niche ish thing that I'd be happy to do customs for and hope someone wants to set one up????)

but im proud of myself. yesterday into today has been nicely productive counting everything including this, and while this last thing maybe isn't a traditional accomplishment to be proud of, this is a bigger step for me in that direction. My audience is small but bigger than i thought it would ever get and like.

the money is v little. but maybe if i keep trying to improve it will become more, and in the meantime im quite satisfied with the latest few comments from ppl aksndjfnf

that said tho GOD im old and things aren't working well if ever they did and like. my knees ache. we walked the beach earlier yesterday and between that and the Posing for this bit of work, I've aggravated my right knee and ankle especially, and am standing typing this waiting for the radiating pain to stop so i can walk on that leg and take a fucking shower lmao

Worth it tho, for all of it

#text post #im sure this is tmi to some folks but as long as im doing this for even tiny amounts as reward #then it's Work and i will occasionally talk abt it as such on here tho if ever anyone wants it tagged with something unique #to blacklist just lemme know and I'll add a special tag for this particular Work talk and add it to this and any future posts #but yeah aside from me regretting not having bought a cane yet to help with moments like this aksnskdnf #im proud and happy and. a lil nervous bc whenever i get too happy and carefree usually something goes wrong #but going into early monday morning now im going to give myself a few hours to enjoy it #mostly bc regardless of which option above i choose i still gotta do editing of some kind and GOD #it's gonna be a slog bc im still learning the program but it's a weirdly fun slog somehow #...i thought by this tag the pain would have eased up and I'd be done alsjdkff and post this up #apparently not so i guess im literally hopping/limping into the shower bc fuck waiting i wanna go b seepy cosy in bed

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mymp3 · 2 years

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Haikei Doppelgänger - Lvl 32 Master pass

#okay so theres a couple of reasons im posting it even though its not an fc #1. im really proud of myself #i couldnt pass this up untill a few hours ago and im hitting all of the crazy patterns #2. its a lvl 32 master song #no further explanation needed #but i am a bit embarrassed bc at the end i started shaking so bad i couldnt hold the end #and i racked up a whole bunch of greats #but regardless im proud of myself :)#taptothebeat

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yerdad · 2 years

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Hi! Know I've been inactive for a bit and that probably isn't gonna change! I have other stuff to say but it'll be in the tags lol

#so im hesitant to say what i wanna say cause i dont wanna be perceived as ungrateful but like #i really wish my non fandom stuff got more attention/love #it sucks cause i know most of you followed me for Undertale/underswap art and junk so it only makes sense that #my more personal art wouldnt be treated in the same way #and im also aware thay regardless of how many followers i have not all of you will see/like/comment/reblog my stuff #and it bothers me that i care so much because i know the culture of social media doesnt cater towards the art community very well #even though art is so so popular #the creators of said art and content just dont get treated in the same way their creations do #and thats really disheartening cause ir feels like i have to constantly improve and one up myself in order to get people attention #like for so many this is their livelihood and to see it so dependant on algorithms is incredibly demoralizing #i dont know #this kinda feels like the only route for me right now since im still in highschool- this feels like the only way ill create connections atm #anyway im only saying this cause i wanna know if anyone else feels similarly? like i feel like such a jackass for thinking all this stuff #but i wanna know if its reasonable line of thinking yknow #thats why i havent been posting very much either. i just hate working so hard on something and feeling so proud and then it feels like #its being ignored? idk...#im aware this sounds whiny #i wont try to excuse it #if any of my art moots see this tell me if youve had similar experiences #since i feel bad ill try to post the sketches ive been doing since school started #my style has changed a bit so maybe some of you would be interested in seeing how ive improved? lolol #im done talking now. have a good one

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bangcakes · 2 years

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#can't sleep. keep thinking about c #if the hashtag thing didnt show up i meant c sharp. not c #but also not just c sharp but c sharp related things like this guy i like in the class. and whether or not he said 'my mom' or #'my girlfriend' when we were talijng about grad pics. n how now idk what to do now bc of It JFJDJDJDJ #either way tho ... i really like him. like even if we just stay friends... i think he's so cool n im just like wow ..... me talking to a #guy i like. n not just looking and crushing from afar. but actually like...... talking. huge step for me regardless of the outcome.#like this is so much growth #theres also this ither guy i liked in the class too. and he is always so like. nice to me n complimentary. keeping that door open too #idk im just so proud of myself for being able to like. talk to guys now NDJDJJDJDJDJD #i used to be terrified.........#n e way....... NDNNDNDNDND #personal

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sophieebridgerton · 5 months

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I love this club

#and i hate that club!#i love my girls im so proud we made it to wembley regardless #im not watching so im going to blame it on everyone but myself and my club because i don’t actually know what went down

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freshwaterecosystemenjoyer · 5 months

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damn not even margaritaville is saving me from wanting to kill myself today

#reblog #you ever just like. crash?#just realizing i really need to find work soon but at the same time if i didnt have someone caring for me i would 100% not eat #and just starve to death #im really surprised i haven't died due to the elements yet to be honest. because it just doesnt occur to me to go warm up or to #go cool down in extreme temperature cause i cant feel anything and haven't been able to for a long time. and nothing brings me joy either #im only here because im too cowardly to kill myself but living is just existing in a haze of nothingness right #i dont enjoy anything and any positive emotion is fleeting. I'm not really proud of anything i do either. its just filling emptiness #and replacing the emptiness with movement #its not really a good existence but ive been living like this since i was a small child so why change i guess #regardless if i left people would move on and go about life. they'd remember me until they forget me and i become a memory anyways

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mothocean · 7 months

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Girl help i am having grievances over my art major final project

#idk i just keep thinking about how i had a grand spectacular plan for it and then. well. *gestures around* all of this happened #and like at the end of it it feels like everyone else managed to achieve their spectacular plans and make something amazing #while i just. failed #and i am picking myself back up and i am making something!! even if its not what i planned originally it should still be good enough!!#but i guess im having a hard time reconciling with it. being proud of it #like in previous years we had multiple projects to work on all with clear deadlines and so if one thing i mad didn't turn out right #at least i had everything else i made #but now.. because of everything and just. yeah. i have one thing to show and im not 100% satisfied with it #i still have a week or so and in that time im going to make it into the best thing it can be #but its not what i wanted it to be and its still inferior to everyone else's projects #and i know that doesn't matter on the technical scale and that i'm going to get graded on what *i* did regardless of what everyone else did #but like. when they put up the exhibition people are going to see my work next to everyone else's works #and they're gonna see that what i made is far less... impressive #and like. i dont even know if what i made is good enough! if it's not too obvious or too vague #if people are going to get it or if they're gonna think it's dumb #i don't know!! and my art teachers already warned me against putting too much text next to my works so like #i can't even explain myself lol #i am going to probably make a lil design document thing and put it up next to the works themselves #but like. idk if they're gonna let me do that #i don't know!! i will keep working on it and i will try to mold it into something i can be sorta satisfied with #but like. i cant help but mourn what it could've been #roseflower.txt #vent cw #rant cw

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silhouettecrow · 7 months

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365 Days of Poems: Day 12 (January 12th)

Evanescent Forest

Somewhere—

not too far from here

but not a place you've ever heard of—

there lies a forest,

small and sacred,

that flickers

in and out

Like swirling mist or fickle fog

coat the skin in warm drops of velvet

slowly fading

The forest and all its creatures

show themselves for a blink

before the vanishing

of ghost trees, sugar-spun animals, smoke moss

You will not find

this forest on any map

as paper cannot hold vapour

or a fleeting memory,

and if you ever see it,

no-one will ever believe you

or your tales of phantoms in the night

Do not go

searching,

child

it will find you

when it is ready

to claim what is its

- - - - -

Here's the link to the corresponding writing prompt post

#the formatting on this one was a straight-up pain in the ass #and thats mainly why i was putting it off #that last line in the third stanza is supposed to be right-aligned (rather than left-aligned)#but because it is long it is really hard to do that especially here on mobile #so i just hope it looks okay on both mobile and desktop #and im lowkey proud of myself for finally biting the bullet (so to speak) and just posting this #even if the formatting cant be perfect or how i really want it #regardless i think the poem speaks for itself in terms of what its about #especially in junction with the title/prompt #so i wont ruin anyones interpretation or reading experience by saying more #as for my 12th i believe my girlfriend and i went to the house to do laundry #other than that i dont think we did much #(if i remember something i will add it as an edit)#(again this is what i get for procrastinating on posting these for so long)#thanks for reading #writing #writer #creative writing #writing prompt #poem #poetry #writeblr #trying to be a writeblr at least

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kuratm · 7 months

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damn almighty, i did a LOT on both this and cora's blogs ... i managed to queue up everything and even cleared up the asks. ofc, there's my multi left, but it's fiiiiiineeeee.... *boots up hades the game* my work here is done.

#♩ 》 ( ooc. ) // shut the fuck up pluto.#me: man i want more interactions #me @ myself: bitch u cant even interact w ur own head over what u wanna do today-#well regardless im super proud of cleaning up everything and queueing everything up #now imma go and bust my nut to zaddy zagreus-

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mango-n5 · 9 months

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On the other side of 25 ✨️

#i am actually so enthusiastic about the incoming year #my 25th year has been so rich and constructive #i learned to love myself even more #regardless of how i look or how i dress and im proud of myself for it #it's still a process but i've made huge progress and i hope to be here one year from now even more full of peacefulness and self love #fingers crossed i should also graduate this year!#i can't wait because i've worked very hard especially the last two years #let's see what the next quarter of a century holds for us!

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canadiankakashi · 10 months

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Figured out and successfully made eggnog and now the reasonable thing to do is find some pepsi to combine it and then see how bad of an idea it is to drink it

#im so proud of myself for this #it came out way better than expected #like its not as thick as i hoped but its tastey so I'm happy regardless #anywhos I've heard that pegnog is not good tasting and im excited to find out myself #sadly i don't have any pepsi but i have halo flavored mnt dew and thats close enough if I can't find real pepsi #atropos speaks (fake) prophecies

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