#but she rejected him and suddenly he was too busy to make rehearsals

[danceworshipper]

BRUH I just learned that the reason we lost one of our male dancers is that one of my teammates rejected him oh my fucking god dude get a grip 💀

[lazywriters-blog]

DENIED PROPOSAL

YANDERE PRO-HERO TODOROKI SHOUTO

Summary: What if you reject a pro heroes proposal? And who is also willing to force it.

Warning: May contain triggering content, non-consensual touching, and yandere behavior. Enjoy!

Entering the skyscraper that once belonged to the endeavour agency was a rare experience.

It was only made mandatory for her when her friend insisted that he had something of importance to say. Inviting her to visit him in his busy agency, surprisingly, the building had been empty of any occupants. Rather it was otherworldly and eerily serene. Her footsteps echoed.

Not what she had in mind.

She had consoled herself upon seeing how big the place was, that there would be somebody to assist her if she got lost, but there was no one typing away or receiving distress calls, it was making her anxious.

She carried on regardless, distracting her troubling thoughts with the man himself. Shouto.

She and the youngest son of the todoroki family met online, only astonishing themselves when they came face to face during their final year at middle school, that they knew each other as distant classmates. They bonded more during those last days.

Got to know each other, shared their funny and sad life stories, opened up about their inner struggles, teasing each other, however, it was mostly on her part, shouto wasn't that talkative, she was the one who would go out of her way to get him to freely converse, although she didn't talk much either. Except for when she was around him.

There were bittersweet memories.

After a long moment of locating the elevator, she prepared herself mentally, rehearsing what to say and what not to say, fixing her getup to see if she appeared suitable and proper.

The fresh aroma of roses and the fragrance of expensive cologne greeted her as the elevator doors opened, the place had a warm glow to it with plenty of windows featuring the lanky buildings outside, although she shouldn't be feeling uneasy, her stomach was churning with dread.

Only for it to be weakened when she heard footsteps behind her. Seeing her friend's unique coloured eyes brighten up after sighting her.

"Oh... You came, you could have told me to come to get you, I was starting to get worried." He softly confessed clearing the gap between her. She smiled, reminding herself that she was meeting her friend after a long time. She shouldn't feel uncomfortable for no tangible reason.

"Sorry, you know I am a little slow with grasping things..."

"There's no need to apologise." He muttered, tenderly bringing her hand close and caressing them, she hadn't expected that. Promptly she laughed and dragged her hand back, his touch somehow still lingering on her skin.

"So how have you been?" She gleefully asked, filling in the awkward tension with words.

"I've been good." He replied, his gaze glued to hers undaring to tear them away. She wasn't feeling too good.

"You've grown since the last time I saw you. Guess it's true that boys grow up faster after reaching a certain age." She said fiddling with the strap of her bag to mellow out the sickening feeling in her gut.

He didn't say anything in return, he listened. Then he proceeded to say.

"Let's sit down and talk." She nodded, following him further into the floor.

Silently admiring the scenery whilst shouto simply sauntered to whatever place he wanted her to be. His board back and his double-coloured hairs stole her attention, his hair a little dishevelled, wearing his usual hero costume unlike her, he told her to come up nicely dressed, guessing it was perhaps a get-together with few others.

That doesn't seem to be the case.

Shortly, they both stepped into his office, and he closed the door behind them, the lock clicking in place, she's sure she heard it.

Forcing herself to sit down and calm her nerves, she watched as her friend settled down beside her, something was amiss, and the atmosphere had suddenly gotten tauten. She stared at him.

Wordlessly begging him to finish whatever he had to tell, she pulled her fingers tighter, entertaining cruel notions.

"Will you give me your hand?"

She went stiff. Questioning his intentions. The festering solemnity in his eyes was frightening her. Hesitantly she extended her hand to him, observing the subtle changes in his expression.

"I know it's sudden but, will you marry me?"

Her heart dropped. All she could muster was a, "huh? What...?" Awkwardly wishing to retract her hand back but he tightened his hold.

"I mean it. It's what's best for us both." He sternly whispered. She had to step in.

"I don't think I see you that way, you are like a small brother to me. I don't love you that way." She mumbled. While she was only three months older than him, it gave her the same feeling akin to protecting someone a little less experienced and younger than her.

"I'm sure you'll find someone much better than me." She tried to comfort him, however, she wasn't sure if it helped.

"I'll help you find someone!"

She half-heartedly attempts to pull her hand back, fully aware that the best course of action was either to shift the topic or take her untimely leave. His silence wasn't helping, rather reinforcing more fear in her.

Strongly snatching her hand she gives him a sad smile, wishing it would somehow minimise her denial, walking towards the door with haste, looking back one last time and that was the mistake she had to avoid. He was up on her feet calmly watching her. 

"I'll text you... When I reach home." She forced a grin, turning her back to him, shaking the doorknob when it hit her, he had locked it. Like a mindless idiot, she forgot in that moment of apprehension. She wanted to kill herself.

Would he even be willing to unlock it? She could only try.

"Shouto um... Could you-"

"I don't want to." He instantly replied with a bitter tone, his voice closer than she remembered, dare she say, different. So different.

"Please. I want to go home." She firmly insisted, slightly narrowing her eyes at the male. "Look, whatever I did to mislead you I'm sorry, you were my only friend and I didn't know how friends treated each other."

"Fine." He responded. "I'll open the door for you- only if you accept my offer."

"Shouto... I told you, we are friends!" Her temper was rising, she neared him, "you aren't thinking of keeping me here till I surrender and agree to your marriage proposal, are you?"

"I might." He truthfully admitted, maintaining eye contact with her fiery ones.

"Don't be childish shouto!!" She loudly complained, storming to the door and frantically shaking the knob, slamming her body against it when her tries were rendered futile.

"Shouto, please!! This is not funny!!" She cried out, tears quick to gather in her eyes upon comprehending the sobriety of the implementation. If she couldn't leave, what then? She doesn't wanna be in this room with him any longer.

The knowledge that her friend of 5 years had grown loving of her was hard enough to swallow.

His hand strongly grabbed ahold of hers, dampening her struggle and preventing it from escalating, heaving her by the waist when it proved to be tricky to tow her by the wrist.

She wasn't calming down.

But then he felt her kick him, drawing out a pained grunt, it irritated him, so much. Slamming her body on the table, it ended her attempts for a second, enough time for him to urge her legs apart and force his own between her warm core.

"Stop." He lowly growled glaring down at her.

She stifled her breath, facing away from his double-coloured eyes. It allowed him to muzzle his face into the crook of her neck, and she didn't intend it, kickstarting her struggle once more.

"No!! Stay away from me!" Putting all her strength into pushing his chest away she closes her eyes shut, however, it didn't please him. Prompting him to bite down as hard as he could.

"Am I that undesirable?" He softly whispered near her ear, his breath tickling her skin and pressuring her brain to focus on that spot. "Tell me why you denied me."

"Don't you like me? Am I not good to you?"

"I like you!! I really like you shouto!" She shouted, but anyone would know she was lying.

It was all she needed to say to catch him off-guard, to make him believe, to fool him, and he fell for it. His eyes lid up, hoping this time it was the truth, that this was real and he would be naive enough to accept it.

"Do you mean that?" He chuckled leaning down, trembling from uncertainty she nodded, gently snaking her hand down, feeling the plastic card hanging from his supply belt.

"Yeah-- I shouldn't have tried to prank you like this." She whimpered, tears steadily rolling down her cheek. Her lips curled in and soon let out a pained sob.

She was always the mischievous one, trying to gain a reaction from him many times. Maybe that's what he liked about her...

"I'm sorry..."

Her voice was delicate and soft, weakened, she couldn't be lying, she just couldn't be. Stroking the tears off her cheeks, their nose touching, his eyes wandering to her lips and unhappy eyes.

"I'm sorry- I shouldn't have done that." To tug him further into her deception, before he could doubt her she moved her face to his and connected their lips.

It was quick and short, straight to the point, and that was all she wanted to execute her plan and rudely wake him up from his delusions.

His grip had loosened and this was her chance.

With the back of her palm, she harshly struck him across the face and shoved him off her frame, earning herself a dangerous opportunity. Swiping the card and unlocking the door, she bolted to the elevator.

To her utter shock, ice was creeping up behind her. He was using his quirk. Painting a delicate layer of ice coating the lunette windows. It made her all the more miserable. 

The grand and luxurious office becomes a place of imprisonment with frost cravings, encasing everything it reached into ice sculptures, cold and unwelcoming to the touch. Just like the man once was. It sends a chill down her spine. He would see it that she acknowledge him, see his way, and learn why he is doing so much.

She could see him walking in her direction, steady and menacingly slow, his fist was clenched, his face reflecting all the resentment going through his mind, and it also made her doubt her ability to escape.

She quickly hid, hoping to slowly make her way to the exit as quietly as possible.

The ice softly crunches beneath his pale boots his multicoloured eyes preying on her footsteps, which she almost hadn't managed to evade before the frost could seal her in place and leave her helpless.

Her short heels weren't helping much against the freezing floor, her hands had gone chill and numb her breath sending shivers down her skin and having the hairs on the back of her neck stand up.

She couldn't bear the sudden drop in temperature and shouto was a silent predator. It wouldn't take long for him to drag her out of her hiding place.

Quickly wrapping her arms around her chest her body quivering, teeth chattering, she quietly attempted to make some distance with the pro-hero right behind her trail. Her movements were slowing down.

Striving to fight the urge to curl up and shudder, she carried on, how could she survive this predicament? When she feels she's already failing.

She should have kept her mouth shut.

"Ah..." Her eyes quickly widened, falling on her butt when there wasn't enough time to get up and run, gently pushing herself backwards, staring at the looming build of her best friend.

"Please... Please let's talk." She mumbled, drawing in a stiff breath feeling sick from how fast her heart was beating, how her thoughts were growing illogical.

"There's nothing we can talk about." He replied crouching down to her eye level, an ounce of tenderness in his gaze watching her move away from him. "I said what I needed to say, and you didn't react to it well. You rejected my proposal."

His tone grew bitter, stern and hurt, remembering how she smiled and deceived him, let him know he was being unreasonable, that she saw him as her dear friend and brother, her small brother, all this time, he thought she was showing him passionate liking. When, in reality, she didn't love him.

"Tell me, did you enjoy leading me on? Making me fall for you, telling me how you were feeling, what was bothering you. It was all a lie." He snarled.

She was furthering herself away from him.

She wasn't reciprocating his feelings.

His left side had started to tremble, however, he still focused his attention on the girl. Without a second thought, he grabbed her body closer to him, she had begun to scream, shrieking and trying to push him away, but she wasn't going to loosen his hold anytime soon. Not when he was so warm.

"We could get out of here if you want. You only have to say yes, we'll only have each other in the end." He whispered in her ear, nuzzling in the crook of her neck, his breath grazing her skin.

"Stop screaming. You'll hurt your throat."

He quickly brought her closer, forcing her hands to still against his chest, her sweet-smelling scent he'd breathe in every day clouding his thoughts.

He could freeze her to death.

Seizing her hand he took out the ring he had organized for her, slipping it into her fingers and cherishing the way it looked. What it meant.

He returned his gaze to the girl in his arms, letting her quiver and regret whatever she did.

Now, they were engaged.

And closer than ever.

[gisachi]

Better late than never?? Supposed to post on the day itself but of course I couldn’t. This is my rushed contribution to the prompt: domestic mixed with black knight&princess.

ShinRan Week Day 6

Prompt: Domestic (+ Black Knight&Princess)

Words: ~2.5k

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“Not just once, but twice! Who was it that saved my life again? Oh, unnamed knight with the black cloak, if you will grant me my wish… Please take off that dark mask and show me your true face!”

“If that is what, uh, the princess wishes, I shall show you my sorrow- sorrowful? - face under this moonlight. Oh wow this is cheesy.”

Ran leans on the arm of the couch, bound script covering her resigned face. If she had a hundred yen for every single complaint coming out of this detective’s mouth, she’d have enough to buy two entrance passes to Tropical Land for each day of the week, plus snacks and drinks.

“I went here because I thought you’d be a more immersive practice partner than ‘tou-san. You are worse.”

“I’m sorry, princess, if my mom being an actress ruined your expectations of me.”

“Oh, for sure. And otou-san doesn't destroy the scene by dropping nonsensical comments. And lie on the couch while reading the script. So he’s better by a lot.”

Shinichi props his body up, eyes rolling sarcastically before throwing a look at the lady on the edge. “To be fair, you came barging into my house so early on a Sunday. This is justified.”

“Shinichi, eleven in the morning isn’t early.”

With a stubborn grumble, the detective flops back into the cushions, script on his lap sliding to the floor. “ ’M tired Ran, long case last night, let me sleep.”

“Please, you’re my last option! School festival is in less than two weeks, and I can’t possibly ask Araide-sensei to spare time on a weekend outside of our rehearsal schedule when he’s busy working—”

The lightning speed Shinichi jolts upright causes Ran to cut herself short. “Araide-sensei is the cloaked knight?”

“Yes, didn’t I tell you?”

“You didn’t.”

“Really? I-” she pauses, delayed in taking in the curt iciness of his response when he was so apathetic five seconds ago. On anyone else it’s clear what that tone implies, but she’s never heard it on him.

“Do you have a beef with Araide-sensei?” she asks.

“A beef?”

Ran arches an eyebrow, skeptic. Shinichi meets her gaze, eyes slightly thinning before glancing away, cheeks crimson.

“I mean— Why Araide-sensei? Shouldn’t he be busy, I dunno, being a doctor, than being a fictional knight or something.”

“All the guys in our class were too shy and declined, so Sonoko asked Araide-sensei when he happened to come in for a checkup. He agreed so easily! Would you believe he’d taken a lot of lead roles in plays when he was a student?”

“And that was fifteen something years ago.”

“He’s also good at things like emphasizing lines and handling a woman!”

“Anyone can- What?!”

“Stop being a sourpuss Shinichi, especially when you’re the first to decline.”

He looks at her quizzically. “I did?”

“You don’t even remember?” Amidst the faint pink on her cheeks, disappointment etched on the way Ran’s lips curve to a small pout. “You were the first Sonoko asked... You were so quick to turn her down, she said.”

Astounded by the revelations docking in his brain all at once, Shinichi struggles to recall the conversations he had exchanged with Sonoko the past weeks. None stands out. If she had included Ran’s name in there, he would remember instantly. But Sonoko didn’t. Suddenly, the floodgates in his mind open.

If he finds out later on about the plot and the cast, he’ll definitely find a reason or two to sulk, if not object. Whether Ran is partnered with someone else or Araide-sensei doesn’t matter, for as long as it isn’t him. Him who she’s positive would outright reject her offer to act as a prince because why would he? In any case, god knows Sonoko omitted Ran’s name on purpose for this.

The sly woman has stirred something up, and she will proudly take the front row seat on his reaction she was so sure he’d make.

Not saying Sonoko’s predictions are right. This is just how she thinks. And he won’t react the way she expects he will. She is not right.

Not. Right.

Sonoko, yaro...

“Stand up, let’s do this.”

“Huh?”

“You want immersive? I’ll give you immersive.”

Left with little time to process as Shinichi pulls her by the hand, Ran drops her script on the floor. The sudden shift in character is unbelievable. How can someone so sleep-deprived turn into someone this enthused in a span of a breath?

“But first, let me…” He leaves the room, and Ran picks up her script, still quite lost. Whatever she said earlier must have triggered something, and she’s torn if she’ll ask once he returns but considers the possibility that he may break character. Not gonna risk that. He said he’ll give her an immersive practice, and it’s oddly unexpected, but she’ll take it. This is good. After all, she needs him as the knight.

Wants him as the knight.

“Sheesh, Ran, stop…” Shying away from her own maidenly thoughts, Ran flips to the designated page, scene, and line, rehearsing as she waits.

Some minutes later, Shinichi reappears, holding his script and something else. Of all things she would expect him to own, a blue fancy Columbina mask adorned with elegant silver and royal patterns wasn’t one of them.

“Mom has these things, okay,” he explains, putting it on. Ran isn’t sure if she wants to laugh or tease, but she does neither when she gets a glimpse of him with half of his face covered, and she catches her breath at the sight.

Standing against silk red curtains and brilliant glow of afternoon sunlight, he really does seem like a mysterious knight…

“Don’t laugh, idiot. After doing this for you. Wear this,” he says, and Ran zeroes in on the line of his lips because she has nowhere else to look at as he places a small barrette tiara on her hair. Doesn’t matter what he says, what they wear, even if they fail to match the daintiness of the mask and tiara. Shinichi with this on makes Shinichi as the knight much more vivid now. And Ran as the princess...

“Sorry!” She claps a hand on her warming cheek, pulls back a dumb smile she doesn’t notice she is wearing. “And I— I wasn’t laughing!”

“Still smiling creepily though.”

“I wasn’t being creepy! Geez. Anyway! Page-”

“Page 27, Scene 8, Line 10. Got it.”

After some short blocking instructions, they drop their scripts on the couch, and begin.

“Oh, unnamed knight with the black cloak, if you will grant me my wish… Please take off that dark mask and show me your true face!”

“If that is what the princess wishes, I shall show you my sorrowful face under this moonlight.”

Two steps forward and he removes the mask, and time slows down. She’s seen the same face a million times yet this time, her heart leaps like she’s laid eyes upon the most handsome face in the universe.

“Might—Might you be Spade?” She carries on, taking everything she can to maintain composure. “Long ago, you were banned from this land by my father… but now you’ve become the prince of Trump Kingdom...”

It’s nerve wracking, the way he’s strikingly still, eyes laden on her, either waiting for her next lines or admiring how beautiful she is with the tiara, she isn’t quite sure. The mask is gone, but he isn’t breaking character. Meanwhile, she’s trying her darned best to stay as Princess Heart of Bridge Kingdom.

“If you have… not forgotten about our childhood promise, then please…”

A nervous lump forms in her throat as she wraps her arms around his shoulders, and his hands find her waist, and she nearly gasps but holds it in because right now, she’s Princess Heart, not Mouri Ran asking this of Kudou Shinichi. “Please, show me on these lips.”

“As my princess so desires...”

It should be ‘the’, not ‘my.’ And there’s supposed to be another line after that, but nothing stops him as he leans in ahead of time and her eyelids flutter to the erratic beat of her heart. It’s better to be partnered with Araide-sensei in this after all. He will not mess up his lines, and she will not lose her mind the way she’s losing it now.

Two parted lips are a pucker away when the doorbell chimes, making both jolt.

Ran is first to snap out of character, as if she hasn’t had the urge to earlier.

“That—That must be Sonoko. I forgot to tell you...  I invited her in.”

“Oh, great,” Shinichi says.

Forcing her limbs into working order, Ran disentangles slowly, drawing a distance. Shinichi glances at the mask in his hand, then at her, before tossing it to the couch and turning for the door. From the window, she watches him walk to the front gate, scratching the back of his head in an annoyed manner like she just woke him from sleep, but grumpier. She hasn’t seen him display much emotion on a Sunday noon the way she’s seeing him now.

Maybe I shouldn’t have bothered him, she sighs, her turn to slump onto the couch this time.

-

“As I was saying, the prod already scouted the finest material for the costumes, and I decided, pink suits Princess Heart— Hello? Are you listening?”

Ran nearly drops the knife she holds if not for her inhuman reflexes. “Of course! Princess Heart in pink! Yes.” Like nothing happened, she resumes slathering jam and butter on the toast she’s preparing for the three of them. She doesn’t need to look at her side to know Sonoko’s eyeing her from head to toe.

“What happened to her?” The woman turns to Shinichi who sits at the high stool by the kitchen island.

“Dunno,” he says, sounding as noncommittal as he probably appears. Her back is turned against him, but she can see his face, and god why is she blushing?

“I just helped her rehearse. For the play,” he adds.

“Oh?” Sonoko’s brow perks up her forehead, hair whipping as she turns between her and the boy across them. “Did you?”

“Yup. Page 27.”

The dramatic gasp that tears from their friend’s throat is exactly the kind of gasp they expected; even so, Ran still flinches as Shinichi’s stool rakes the floor. “You kissed and I didn’t see?!”

“Hah?!”

“No!”

The two yelp in unison.

“That’s sly! You have to do it again! I’ll judge.”

“Excuse you! It didn’t happen, what you’re thinking!”

“Sonokooo!”

“Oh, shush, Ran, this is good practice. Good practice.”

“But—”

“Relax, rehearsal is rehearsal! In the actual play, once it’s Araide-sensei, he’ll do a better job—”

“I’m going to the toilet,” Shinichi gets off the stool, jaw stiff, out of the kitchen.

“—with a hug than a kiss. Right?” Sonoko ends, once Shinichi is out of the room.

“What?” Ran’s expression is inscrutable as she faces Sonoko completely, the flush across her face befitting embarrassment or ire. “You’re losing me here!”

“Oh, you’re not going to kiss, Ran. The lights will dim before your lips touch.”

“Then why—” she puts down the bread and walks in haste to the island to flip through the script, “Wh— That’s not in here!”

“Sonoko-sama hereby deems the script revised now that we have Araide-sensei.”

“Eh...?!” Ran cannot explain the play of her reactions. On one hand, a cloud is cleared from her mind, having to worry no more about doing something she has no experience with in front of watchful eyes. On the other, bunch of half-formed thoughts whirl through her mind that goes, Shinichi and I almost kissed for nothing, for nothing we almost k-kissed, an almost kiss with Shinichi, almost—

“That won’t do! I mean— That’s so not you! T-To choose a hug over a...”

“Duh, Ran! Even if it’s just a play, I won’t enable a kiss scene between a student and a staff member. We can fake the kiss. That, or switch to hug. Or better yet, change the male lead.”

“Change the male lead? In two weeks? Who will agree?!”

“Easy.” Just in time, Shinichi returns, hands in pocket and long face worn all the way to the stool.  “I know someone who will.”

-

‘Once it’s Araide-sensei, he’ll do a better job…’ What? Kissing Ran? Shinichi wants to puke. Sonoko needs to think things through. If this is part of her plan, it’s unacceptable, it sucks.

There’s no way, no way anyone can do a better job kissing Ran than…

“Aaaargh, what are you thinking!” He ruffles his hair in dismay, curses here and there. He only wanted to help Ran yet he almost went for it. Not as Spade but as himself. The audacity. It’s part of the script, sure, but—

If it is part of the script, then have Ran and Araide-sensei rehearsed it before?

“That’s it,” Shinichi huffs, storming out of the bathroom. If this is the kind of reaction Sonoko wants from him, she’s in for a show. Not just a show but a lifetime of curses and mental stabs. For her to go this far is unbelievable. Did Ran even agree to that? Will such a scene really happen in the play? No matter how despicable Sonoko’s methods are, he has faith she respects Ran’s preference as the female lead. No offense against Araide-sensei, but he cannot take Ran’s first kiss, whether as Spade or not.

That is not to say he knows Ran’s preference, especially when it comes to a first kiss, but… it’s not... Araide-sensei... is it?!

He cannot ascertain, not when Ran did nothing when they were about to kiss…

Okay, halt there, self. I said immersive. That’s immersive. She was acting.

All was but an act. She’s a great actress. I suck. No need to make this a big deal.

Shinichi is a pitiful mess once he’s back in the kitchen.

“My offer still stands, you know.” Sonoko sits beside him, munching a toast, while Ran is busy returning the jam in the cupboard, back against them.

“Your offer?”

Shinichi glances at Ran, then at Sonoko, with that feral grin on her lips and Shinichi does a bad job looking pissed, and it’s maddening because he is pissed, just not obvious with the blush forming across his cheek.

Reprimanding Sonoko is what he intends to do. For doing him dirty, him and Ran dirty, for dragging a staff to be the male lead, for imploring Ran to give her first kiss she’s probably saving in a different setting. All invalid reasons, when he cared less about the play before. He’s a full-time idiot, and Sonoko knows it clearly that’s why she’s offering the role again. He doesn’t want to fall into her trap, the same way he doesn’t want anyone else to be Spade when Princess Heart is Ran.

But Ran looks over her shoulder and they accidentally lock eyes, and pink blooms across her cheeks before she turns around, and suddenly the words that leave his mouth completely betray the thought process he underwent in the bathroom.

“If Ran agrees, yeah,” he says.

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[ijustwant2write]

Dainty-Fred Weasley x Beauxbatons!Reader

(GIF credit to @fgweasley​)

Tags: @wand3ringr0s3 @obsessedwithrandomthings-blog

Requested by anonymous: ‘Hi!!!! i was wondering if you could do a Fred x beauxbatons!reader during the goblet of fire era and he’s like completely enamored with her and gets super fumbly when she’s around. She’s friends with Fleur and apart of the more popular group so he also gets a bit insecure thinking she wouldn’t like him, but she ends up making a move and they are sad when she has to leave bUT (b u t) turns out she actually transfers to Hogwarts to finish her schooling.’

Characters: Fred Weasley x Beauxbatons!Reader, Fleur Delacour x Beauxbatons!Reader (platonic)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

(Y/L/N)=Your last name

Warnings: Insecurities, feeling left out, mentions of death, lots of fluff

                                      *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

It was agitating to the girls of Hogwarts to see every boy fawn over any Beauxbaton girl that crossed their path...until they saw the students from the Durmstrang Institute. It was no surprise that crushes and friendships were formed as the schools joined together for the Triwizard Tournament. Students were able to see other children their age who they had never met, rather than seeing the same people everyday.

(Y/N) sat with her group of friends as they awaited the announcement of each school’s champion. Fleur had confidently put her name in the Goblet of Fire, whereas (Y/N) couldn’t even face the thought of going through that sort of torture. Prior to this, she had a long conversation with Fleur, making sure her friend knew what she was getting herself into. But Fleur was ecstatic to put herself forward. (Y/N) neither had the courage or skill to even consider doing this sort of challenge.

“He’s staring again!” a friend exclaimed, causing her and the others to giggle as they looked at (Y/N).

She suddenly felt on the spot, until she realised they were talking about someone behind her. Hesitantly peeking over her shoulder. It was the tall boy again, the one with long ginger hair. 

“(Y/N), you should go speak to him!” Fleur nudged her.

She faced forward again.“Because that will go really well. You know I’ll just embarrass myself.”

“For a Beauxbaton, you really don’t uphold the name very well.” a friend joked, the girls breaking out into giggles again.

(Y/N) laughed along, though it was forced. Although it wasn’t meant to be serious, it still hurt. (Y/N) wasn’t as polished as she hoped she would be after so many years at her school. The other girls were flawless. (Y/N) had to repeatedly rehearse their entrance to Hogwarts whereas they all got it almost straight away. It was embarrassing at times. Her marks in every class were very good, she wasn’t a bad student. But if you took one look at her, you wouldn’t think she was from the same school as the girls sat around her. They were her friends, they loved her as any friend would. She just wished their jokes weren’t always about her.

They were shushed as the headmaster of Hogwarts caught everyone’s attention, instructing them to sit down. Everyone did as they were told, silence washing over them. Dumbledore announced that it was time for the champion selection, darkening the room with a flick of his hand. Everyone waited in anticipation as he caught the first piece of parchment thrown out, announcing Viktor Krum the champion for Durmstrang (not so surprising). (Y/N)’s friend group burst into cheers as Fleur was chosen to represent Beauxbatons. (Y/N) clapped vigorously and cheered loudly until she realised her fellow classmates weren’t being as eccentric as her.  Cedric Diggory was last for Hogwarts, and now a buzz of excitement filled the room...until Harry Potter’s name was shot out of the Goblet. 

The longest five minutes of silence followed after Harry reluctantly followed the other champions. Students whispered to each other as soon as he left the hall, wondering how the boy wonder got his name in there, and why the Goblet chose two champions for Hogwarts. They were told to leave, and everyone knew the teachers were worried and unsure.

(Y/N) chatted away to her friends, coming up with theories as to why this happened, as well as discussing how they could help Fleur prepare for the challenges. She was so caught up in conversation, she didn’t notice her admirer walking a few steps behind her, his frame towering way over hers. However, her friends definitely saw this, one of them taking the liberty to step on the back of her shoe, causing the heel to slip off. (Y/N) yelped as she stumbled, the heel buckling underneath her. Although she wasn’t going to fall, two pairs of hands steadied her by catching her shoulders.

“Oh!” she exclaimed as she stood upright.“I’m so sorry I-”

(Y/N) caught sight of her group smirking and raising their eyebrows at her as they disappeared around the corner, along with most of the other students walking by.

“-I really need to get some new shoes.”

“As long as you’re alright. Can’ recommend a good shoe shop though. Cause, you know.”

(Y/N) politely smiled, wondering where he was going with this.

“Because...” Fred was trying to come up with his own answer.“Because I’m a boy...man.”

“It should be alright.” (Y/N) said, reaching down to slide the shoe back on her heel.“Thank you though. That was very kind of you.”

“Oh, y-you’re welcome. So, are you from Beauxbatons? Of course you are, that was stupid of me to ask.”

“Did the obnoxiously blue uniform give it away?” she joked.

“I think they’re lovely. Not in a weird way though! Just...um, they’re just different to our drab colours. Everyone blends into one really.”

“I wouldn’t mind that sometimes.”

“Hm?”

“Oh, it’s only...no, sorry, I won’t bore you.”

“You couldn’t bore me!” Fred answered way too quickly.“I’m Fred, Fred Weasley.”

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N). Um, I should probably head back to my friends.”

“Yeah, yeah course. See you later.”

“See you later.”

Both teenagers kept their smiles until they turned away from one other, cringing at how the conversation went. Each thought they had blown it, that the other wouldn’t want to talk to them again (which of course, was the very opposite). It felt silly to (Y/N), but she wanted to know more about him already. He was the first guy to come up to her and actually have a conversation, even if it was awkward. Fred couldn’t believe he had spoken to a Beauxbatons girl, especially one that was friends with Fleur Delacour. He hoped that he would be able to find (Y/N) again away from her friends. Girls were scary when they grouped together.

Unfortunately, Fred and (Y/N) found it difficult to see each other again. (Y/N) was swept up into helping Fleur prepare for the tournament, and Fred was creating more business opportunities with his brother. When (Y/N) first returned to her friends after the interaction with the boy who had been staring at her, she expected them to be waiting with anticipation, ready to throw any questions at her, want to know what happened. But she got nothing. She was slightly disappointed, then felt guilty for wanting attention, when clearly this was Fleur’s day. 

Fred on the other hand was being tormented. The girls thought it sweet he managed to get a few words out, albeit it a bit head on, whereas the boys relentlessly teased him. They would joke it never happened, or if it did, he could surely waltz up to her again and talk to her. Fred wished he never opened his mouth. 

They didn’t speak until after the first task. The pair had stolen glances at each other whenever they could, and (Y/N) couldn’t help doing so whilst the champions faced the dragons, even when Fleur was up. She wanted to talk with him after all four champions made it out alive, but students wanted to go with their representatives to see the golden egg they retrieved. Fred was excited for his friend, though he too was frustrated that his chances (and courage) to speak to (Y/N) again were vanishing.

A few days later, (Y/N) and her group of friends were huddled in the courtyard, gossiping about the upcoming Yule Ball. It was all anyone talked about actually. The faculty found it hilarious and sweet to watch the young students get all flustered over who to ask, how to do it and what to wear, as well as dealing with rejection. 

Fred was shoved forward by George as they saw the group of vultures (girls). He sent a glare back to his twin brother, knowing he had been talking himself up to ask (Y/N) to the ball. He hardly knew her, but it was proving difficult to even have a small chat. His heart was racing as he got closer. What if she said no? Was he being stupid thinking she was interested? Why was he doing this in public and in front of her friends?!

The girls looked up as they saw who was approaching, giggling and cooing at (Y/N). She didn’t take any notice, a genuine smile on her face. That smile dropped when she saw Fred tense up, halting in his steps before quickly turning back around. Her friends burst into laughter, and she sent them a scowl before running after him.

“Fred?” (Y/N) called out as she caught up with him. 

He cautiously faced her.“Uh, yeah, that’s me. You know that’s me, why would I-”

“Would you like to go to the Yule Ball with me?” 

Fred’s mouth was open in shock, wanting to say yes immediately, but surprised she had been the one to ask.“Y-yes. Yes!”

“Great!”

“Yeah, that’s great.”

The two of them could feel their friends watching with eager eyes.

(Y/N) decided to take matters into her own hands.“Can we...can we maybe go for a walk? Now?”

“Let’s go.” Fred was quick to answer.

They walked in silence, somehow knowing where they were headed without a specific destination. Fred took more of a lead when he thought of a place to go. (Y/N) closely followed, spotting a long bridge built next to a viaduct, the cascading water running underneath it. They made it halfway along the bridge before Fred leaned against a post, looking out to the landscape, (Y/N) standing opposite and following his gaze.

“I was going to ask, you know.” Fred started. 

“What do you mean?” (Y/N) looked at him.

“When I walked over. I was about to ask you when your friends...they um-”

“They’re scary, I know.”

Fred turned to face her.“What?”

“Don’t get me wrong, I love them all but sometimes we can look quite intimidating as a group. Well, they do, I don’t.”

“Are you joking? I was terrified to talk to you for the first time!”

“Me? Why?”

Fred didn’t have the confidence to look her in the eye as he spoke.“Because you’re a Beauxbatons girl. I mean, you’re all pretty but compared to the rest of them, you’re gorgeous. And you hold yourself so well, you’re with the popular group, meaning if I did anything wrong, everyone would know within seconds-”

“Fred, are you sure you’ve approached the right girl?”

His head shot up again.“Hm?”

“If someone were to describe me, they wouldn’t use any of those words. I’m an awful representation of my school. It’s a wonder I even made friends, let alone be in the ‘popular’ group. They all think that.”

“Who? Your friends?”

“Yeah. They...I don’t know, sometimes they say these things that I have to laugh off, because it’s not specifically mean, but it still hurts.”

“Well if it’s upsetting you, then it’s mean. Friends aren’t supposed to do that.”

“But they have supported me through a lot. I think they just wish I was more...dainty. I laugh out loud too much, get over excited when something good or fun happens. They rolled their eyes at me once because I used a prank device on them that my cousin got my for Christmas. It was supposed to be funny, but they called me childish.”

“Who doesn’t love a good joke? You really should make some new friends.”

“What’s the point? I’m almost done with school. One more year and then I can make new friends wherever I go next.”

“And where do you want to go?”

“Somewhere where I can have fun and laugh everyday.”

Fred smiled.“I think we have a lot more in common than we thought.”

Fred’s words played on (Y/N)’s mind after their pleasant stroll. Fred had showed her around the castle, or what he could in the small amount of time they had. Both were blushing at times, instantly trying to come up with a conversation starter as soon as a second of silence occurred. Nervous giggles escaped them both at times, hiding their face so the other couldn’t see their blushing cheeks. 

(Y/N) also found herself hanging out with Fred more than her own friends, and she didn’t feel as guilty as she thought she would. It started with one lunch time together, then a full afternoon. Of course she still helped Fleur and tried to have time with her friends, but (Y/N) had another year at school with them, she didn’t know when she could see Fred again. Her group wasn’t too thrilled about that, which (Y/N) could understand; what she couldn’t understand was why her friends weren’t asking anything about Fred. Anytime the others so much as glanced at a boy, they were all over them, shooting out as many questions as possible. (Y/N) secretly felt even worse when none of them discussed what she was wearing to the ball.

Walking at the back of the group, (Y/N) smoothed down her dress, wishing her friends weren’t in such a bad mood with her. Surprisingly, Fleur had been alright with the matter, but (Y/N) supposed that was because she was focusing on the challenges. What if Fred was right? Were the girls secretly being mean to her? Or was that just because he was seeing it from a boy’s point of view? They always had it so much easier.

The girls all turned around to face each other when they reached the doors of the great hall, (Y/N) was relieved when she was involved. Fleur held hands with the girls beside her, everybody copying to form the circle together. 

“This is going to be the best night ever!” Fleur declared, all of them squealing in excitement.“I will see you on the dance floor ladies.”

They all separated, (Y/N) unsure of where to go. She was meeting Fred here, but couldn’t see him, which amused her because of how tall he was, he was hard to miss. Her fingers fiddled together, stopping herself from touching her hair, she had spent far too long on it. Her heart was beating fast, throat feeling choked up as she thought Fred hadn’t shown up. Was this all a joke? He had seemed so genuine. What if her friends had something to do with this? She then felt bad for thinking of them in that way.

“Wow.” 

(Y/N) heard someone gasp behind her, but didn’t turn around. That would be a nice reaction to have though.

“Um, I’ll say it again.” she realised it was Fred’s voice.“Wow.”

(Y/N) spun around, her dress swirling against the floor, grinning as she saw Fred in his suit. 

“You look so handsome!” she exclaimed before she could think, embarrassingly slapping her hand over her mouth. 

“Oh, thank you. I did think I was going to be the best looking here, but you proved me wrong.” Fred was proud of himself when he didn’t mess up that line.

(Y/N) giggled, looking down at the floor.“I’m very excited for tonight. I’m sorry in advance if I step on your toes.”

They both forgot about any nerves, worries or cares once they entered that hall. None of (Y/N)’s friends approached her the whole evening, proving how she really felt about them. She could see them meeting up at times, or some of the pairing up to gossip. But it never bothered her, because she was with Fred the entire time. His friends were with them too, she felt more free, as if she didn’t have to look over her shoulder to see if she was doing every single thing right. Her shoulders weren’t tensed, her posture was slightly slouched, and she could laugh and sing as loud as she wanted to. 

“It was so hot in there.” (Y/N) breathed out as her and Fred left the ball.

“Bloody hell, that breeze is nice.” Fred said as he took off his bow tie.

Their arms were linked as they walked together, slowly traipsing down the halls. They got their breaths back before talking, letting the sweat on their skin dry. (Y/N)’s cheeks were aching from smiling so much. She glanced down to their arms, feeling confident and sliding her hand down to his, linking their fingers together. The pair caught each other’s eye, laughing at the gesture. They found a small, winding staircase to sit a the bottom of, knowing no one would be using them or passing by. They still held hands, leaning into one another.

“Tonight was...amazing.” (Y/N) beamed.

“I’m glad I could cheer you up.” Fred said.

“I’m glad I’m here for a while. It’s just that...” she ducked her head. 

“What?”

“I don’t want to leave.”

Fred lowered his head to meet her gaze, tilting her face up to look at him. He tried to hide that his fingers were shaking.“Me neither.”

“I’ve had so much fun with you in the short amount of time we’ve had together. I feel like we’ve really got to know each other.”

“I think that limited time has made us realise we needed to....uh, we need to um-”

“Cherish our moments together?”

“That’s where I was headed, yeah.”

“How cliche.”

“Y-yeah. But, I don’t mind it.”

“No, I don’t. You know, you’re the first boy I’ve ever da-well, I’ve ever hanged out with.”

“Am I living up to your expectations?” Fred really wanted to know, he wasn’t just teasing her.

(Y/N) glanced down at their intertwined hands as she answered.“You’ve exceeded them.”

There was a few moments of silence before Fred spoke.“W-will you, uh, stand with me for the rest of the challenges? Just so we make the most of it?”

(Y/N) didn’t hesitate to answer.“Of course I will!”

Fred was dazzled by her smile. It made him feel happy, he loved being the reason behind it. His instincts took over as they gazed into each other’s eyes, leaning forward too fast as he went in to kiss her; their teeth hit, both yelping as they pulled away. Touching their lips, they checked for any damage before laughing.

“I really messed that up, didn’t I?” Fred admitted.

She shook her head.“You can try again.”

This time, Fred was more cautious. (Y/N) wished he didn’t take so long, though at the same time, she wanted to make sure she was prepared. They still held hands as their lips met, this time more softly before Fred added more pressure. (Y/N) refrained from smiling during the kiss, not wanting to buck teeth again, or bite his lip by accident. It was short, but neither wanted to point that out, worried that the other thought it was enough. However, as they pulled apart, Fred and (Y/N) realised they wanted more. It was sweet how they exchanged kisses, not talking for the next five minutes. This wasn’t what either had expected to occur during the strange and dangerous competition, although it certainly made things more interesting. 

Although (Y/N) loved being beside Fred throughout the rest of her stay, helping him and George with their bets, the Triwizard Tournament ended terribly. The death of a young boy had happened and Voldemort was back. (Y/N) was relieved that Fleur was alive (and the others, she didn’t want anyone hurt), but found herself looking at the bigger picture. Fred had given her more joy than her friend did in a few weeks. She needed to stop feeling guilty, she needed to think what was good for herself. 

“So, this is it then.” Fred sadly said as they stood in the courtyard with all the other students.

They held each other’s hands as they talked.“Yes. Oh, Fred I don’t want to go!”

She flung her arms around him, hugging him close. He immediately held her tighter.“Hey, we can write to each other. And we said about meeting in summer.”

“I know but-”

“Come on (Y/N)!” Fleur called, signalling that they had to go.

“Don’t worry. I’m never going to forget you. And I’ll write everyday.”

“Me too, Fred!”

Unlike most romantic flings, Fred and (Y/N) kept their word to each other. They wrote constantly, sending each other gifts, updating them about their days. When summer came, Fred was upset that (Y/N) couldn’t make it, though tried not to show his disappointment. It wasn’t her fault, there was a lot going on with her family, and he knew how important that was. Everyone noticed the slump he went into, he wasn’t in a mood all of the time, but there were moments they could see the sadness in his eyes. 

Fred sighed as he followed the rest of his family into King’s Cross, preparing himself for another year of school. This was his last year, the really serious one. However, (Y/N) was still on his mind, especially because her letters hadn’t been as detailed as they usually were. He guessed she was also getting ready for her last year. 

“Fred!” 

He could have sworn he heard (Y/N)’s voice. He looked over his shoulder, still holding onto his trolley, his eyes widening when he saw who was running towards her.

(Y/N) wished her suitcases weren’t so heavy as she pushed it down the platform, her poor parents trying to keep up with her. Once close enough, she forgot about her belongings, so confident that she could just run up and kiss him...until she saw his family. Awkwardly halting, her and Fred chuckled to fill the silence, opting for a simple hug.

“What are you doing here?” Fred asked.

“I transferred here for my last year. I just felt like I should be with people I like and who will support me.”

“That’s amazing!”

“Sorry I didn’t tell you. I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“It certainly is!”

“I don’t mean to spoil the moment love birds, but we’re going to miss the train at this rate.” George interrupted, a cheeky grin on his face.

Fred rolled his eyes.“He’s right, for once.”

“Come on then! I want you to take me all around Hogwarts once we get there!”

“Don’t you worry, I won’t be leaving your side for the rest of the year.”

[perditaalottachocolate-blog]

When You Are Ready

Summary: Years after the events of the akuma Truth Luka gets a visit from an old friend he hadn’t seen in years. And they’re finally ready to tell him the truth. Inspired by S4E01 episode “Truth”.

***SPOILER WARNING***

The story below contains spoilers to the ML episode "Truth". If you haven't watched, read at your own risk.

This is for all the heartbroken Lukanette stans out there.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

‘Great playin’ with you tonight, son,’ Jagged stuck his head inside Luka’s dressing room. For some reason his smile was wider than usual. 

‘Thanks, J,’ Luka nodded. Even after they managed to mend the 16 year gap in their relationship, he couldn’t bring himself to call the rockman “dad”. ‘You too.’

Jagged’s head remained at the door. 

‘You wanted something, old man?’ Luka asked. They’d been performing together for a few years already, but it wasn’t like Jagged to randomly pay him a visit after a concert.

Jagged gasped in mock offence. ‘I’m not that old, mind you. Still can kick your ass on the lead guitar, rookie,’ he waved a warning finger. ‘I’m heading out, just dropped to tell you there’s someone waiting for you at the back. I let her in because it’s raining cats and dogs outside.’

“Her”?

Plenty of fans loitered around after their concerts, but the security kept them in check. Who could make Jagged invite them inside despite their security policy?

‘Who is she?’

Jagged’s grin got positively sly. ‘An old friend, that’s all I’m sayin’. Just remember to show up to rehearsal tomorrow.’ He winked and shot the young man with a finger gun.

That was weird, even for Jagged. Luka quickly gathered his things, secured his guitar and left the dressing room. The corridor was dark and quiet, with most of the crew already gone, but Luka thought there was something strangely familiar in the air, like a memory of a forgotten song that suddenly slipped into his mind. He made a few tentative steps and turned the corner.

Indeed, there was a woman at the back door, leaning against the wall and fidgeting nervously. She turned a small package in her hands and tapped her foot, as if trying to gather courage. He recognized her song in an instant.

‘Marinette?’ Luka rasped, suddenly breathless.

She turned her infinitely blue eyes to him. She was even more beautiful than he remembered. When was the last time he saw her? At Juleka’s graduation? Maybe a few times after that? 

Her life was already a whirlwind when he had met her, and little had changed in the following years. She was always so busy, always in a hurry. Her song became more frantic, burdened with fear and guilt. Luka couldn’t take it. And so days of silence turned into weeks, then months and years. Despite their best efforts they drifted apart and even her occasional commissions for Jagged never served as an opportunity to meet or catch up. He got on with his life, even if Marinette always held a special place in his heart. 

‘Hi!’ She smiled hesitantly, brushing a stray curl of her hair behind her ear.

‘Oh my gosh, hi!’ Luka dropped his bag and hugged her tight. At first she went stiff in his arms, but it only took a moment for her to relax and reciprocate the embrace. 

‘It’s so good to see you,’ he said, letting her go. ‘How are you?’

It really was good to see her, although his heart stuttered in her presence. He wanted to ask an entirely different question. Why was she here? Why did she come to see him after years of keeping quiet? 

‘I’m okay, you know, just doing my thing,’ she shrugged. That obviously wasn’t how she wanted this conversation to go either.

‘So what brings you here? Still a fan of Jagged?’ He risked.

‘Yeah, yours as well, but- ‘ she paused and took a deep breath, ‘that’s not why I’m here. I’m- ugh, why is this so hard?’ she muttered under her breath.

Luka put his hands on her shoulders. ‘Easy, Marinette,’ he whispered, ‘remember you can tell me everything, always,’ he assured.  

She closed her eyes. ‘This was a stupid idea. I just-’

He waited patiently, feeling her shiver under his touch. Her song became erratic, panicked even. This was so unlike Marinette, he started to worry.

‘You said- that evening by the Seine you said, “when you’re ready”,’ she spoke quietly.

He could barely hear her, but still her words made him come back to that heartbreaking moment by the bridge, when she ended things between them even before they really began. He never found out why, never understood, but also never questioned her decision. 

‘It’s been 10 years,’ he said, more to himself and his memory. 

‘Yeah…’

‘So many things happened in those 10 years,’ he mused.

‘Mhmmm…’ Marinette murmured. ‘Your solo album came out. You were on tour with Jagged. We graduated, went to university.’

‘Hawkmoth was defeated.’

‘Only recently,’ she reminded him. ‘But yeah.’

Silence fell over them. Luka still couldn’t make anything out of her presence and her reason to come.

‘You said: “when you’re ready, I’ll be here for you”,’ she repeated, louder now, more determined, as if she finally found her courage. ‘Are you?’

‘If you’re asking, if I have been in a relationship since we were teens, Marinette,’ he replied carefully picking his words, ‘then yes - I’ve been in a few, actually.’ 

But she must have known that, he’d always been honest, not only with her, but with everyone. He never hid. Not after his akumatizations. He’d learned from his parents’ and his own mistakes. 

Marinette hunched. Before she turned her face away from him he glimpsed a tear in her eye. She bit her lip.

But none of them could ever compare to you, he wanted to say. The song of her heart has changed, matured, but it was no less fascinating. If anything, he found it even more captivating than when she’d been 14. 

However, at least one thing about him hadn’t changed either. 

‘I’m a simple, honest guy, Marinette,’ he said. ‘My heart doesn’t handle rejection well, neither dishonesty. Without the truth-’ he drifted off, letting her come to the conclusion on her own. He wasn’t that cruel to say it out loud.

‘I remember what you said and I remember what I’ve done, what I’ve been like,’ Marinette was calm now, but there was strange gravity in her tone. ‘I wouldn’t have come here, if - like you’d said - I wasn’t ready. Here,’ the box she’d been playing with appeared in front of his face. ‘Open it, when you’re alone. Then you’ll understand.’

‘Understand what?’

‘Me,’ she said quietly, turning to leave.

‘What about Adrien?’ Luka remembered that thorn as well.

Marinette halted with her hand on the doorknob. ‘That’s a long story.’

‘Believe me, I know,’ Luka chuckled humorlessly.

‘Adrien’s still a big part of my life, but we’re not a couple,’ Marinette said in a colorless voice.

‘Just friends?’ He couldn’t help himself.

‘Hah,’ she snorted. ‘Best friends. But just friends.’

‘Really?’

‘Yeah. Adrien has some stuff he needs to deal with and I- I finally know what I want and what I need,’ she turned and shot him a meaningful look. Then she left.

Luka stayed in the darkness for a while, mulling over the revelations of the past few minutes. Marinette had always cared for the truth, he knew that well. But there was a new sincerity to her today, laced with quiet determination, that shook him to his core. He wished he could comprehend that mystery.

Then his eyes fell on the little gift box and her words came back to him. “Open it. Then you’ll understand.”

Luka braced himself and slowly, carefully raised the lid. 

Oh.

Inside, on blue silk lay a single guitar pick. It was red with a pattern of black dots. 

Oh.

Finally the missing piece of the puzzle clicked into place. The part of the melody that’s been eluding him from the start, just out of his reach, but right under his nose. He smiled to himself as his fingers closed over the pick. And for the first time in years his heart skipped a beat.

[parkerslatte]

Nothing To Be Jealous Of

MASTERLIST

Luke Patterson x Fem!Reader

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1.8k+

Summary: In 1995, (Y/N) is friends with Sunset Curve and is pining for Luke. They pass away with three out of the four members. In 2020, their crush of Luke is still there, however (Y/N) begins to distance from Luke when they notice the chemistry between Luke and Julie.

*****

Dying at seventeen wasn’t exactly my plan. I had my whole life ahead of me - get married, maybe have a couple of kids, and then die peacefully of old age. But of course the universe was against those plans. Here I was in the year 2020, twenty five years since I died. The only good thing about it was I was with my three best friends in the world. 

After we died - of eating street dogs of all things - we went to a dark room. It was here that I realised that I was dead, that I would never grow up and I would stay seventeen forever. To say that I had a slight mental breakdown would be an understatement. We weren’t in that dark room for too long - at least that’s what we thought - before I felt myself falling and landing back in our studio. 

Of course, it wasn’t exactly our studio anymore. It belonged to a girl named Julie - a girl that Luke had become suddenly smitten with. I mean, I could see why he began to feel the way he did. Julie was extremely talented, she was kind, and she was pretty - not that I was jealous or anything. 

“(Y/N), are you listening to me?” Alex snapped me out of my thoughts.

The two of us decided to go on a walk, Alex was tired after the band’s rehearsal and I offered to come on the walk with him so he wasn’t lonely. We had ended up at the beach.

“Oh, yeah, sorry. What did you say?” I ask. 

“I was just asking if you were coming to our gig tomorrow, you didn’t come to the last one.” 

“Um, I might. I’ve just been tired for the last couple of days and all I want to do is rest up. It’s funny isn’t it, we’re ghosts yet we still get tired.” I say. Everything I said was technically a lie. I wasn’t that tired, maybe a little, but not enough to keep me from going to watch my best friends perform. I just couldn’t stand and watch Luke and Julie on stage together. Their chemistry was unmatched and you would have to be blind to miss it. 

“Are you sure it’s just about that?” Alex questioned.

I began to chuckle nervously, “Why wouldn’t it be about that?”

Alex looked at me with obvious eyes before answering, “Luke?”

“Um, what about Luke? What does he have to do with me being tired?”

“Come on, (Y/N). You know I know you better than that. You have a crush on Luke!” Alex said.

“What, no I don’t-” I stopped when I noticed the look on Alex’s face, “Fine, I do.”

“I know, you don’t hide it well.” Alex responded.

“Well I hide it better than your crush on Willie. You get flustered everytime he speaks to you.” I say trying to divert the conversation away from me.

“Hey, don’t try to spin this conversation on me. We’re talking about you and Luke.” Alex said, folding his arms across his chest.

I sigh, “There’s nothing to talk about. Luke likes Julie, end of discussion.” 

“How do you know that, have you ever actually spoken to him about it?” Alex questioned.

“Well, no but-”

“Then how do you know he likes Julie?” 

“Have you seen their chemistry? The way Luke looks at her, he would never look at me that way,” I sighed once more before standing up and held my hand out to Alex, “Can we go now? I’m getting cold.”

Alex took my hand and pulled himself up before wrapping his arm around my shoulders pulling me in for a side hug.

“Tell Luke how you feel. The worst he can do is reject you, and there are plenty of other ghosts out there for you.” 

“Yeah, okay…” I trail off, “Let’s just get back home.”

***

It had  been a few since my conversation with Alex. As much as I wanted to take his advice in telling Luke how I felt, after I saw their gig, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. His chemistry with Julie was unmatched - he was definitely harboring feelings for her. 

I hadn’t spoken to Luke since the gig, and even then I only said good luck. I wasn’t originally my plan to distance myself from him, it just happened naturally the more time he spent with Julie. It was weird not talking to Luke, before we met Julie, the two of us were practically inseparable. Where one of us was, the other wasn’t too far behind. I missed that. I know it was technically my fault - but I couldn’t help myself. Seeing the boy you’ve had a crush of since you met him have feelings for someone else hurt.

Currently, I was sitting in the garage reading a book. I didn’t know where Luke, Alex and Reggie were, but I knew that Julie was at school, so I had the whole garage to myself. Or so I thought.

The garage doors opened and Julie walked in. I put the book down confused.

“I thought you were at school?” 

“I was, before Luke showed up and practically begged me to come and talk to you.” Julie responded, placing her bag on a chair.

I furrowed my eyebrows in confusion, “Why?”

Julie sighed, “Why have you been ignoring him for the past few days? He says that every time he tries to talk to you, you make up some excuse.”

“I’ve been busy…”

Julie folded her arms across her chest, “Yeah? Doing what?”

I obviously didn’t want to admit that the reason I had been avoiding Luke was because I had a silly crush on him and I was jealous of him and Julie. And I especially didn’t want to admit that to Julie.

“It doesn’t matter…” I deflect.

“(Y/N), it does matter. He’s been moping around asking everyone why you won’t speak to him and asking if he did anything wrong,” Julie stated, “Alex obviously knows something because he just says to give you time every time Luke brings it up.”

I sighed, “Listen Julie, it’s just something stupid. It’ll probably go away in a few days. So just tell Luke that nothing is going on.” I say and try to leave the garage.

“(Y/N),” Julie says, but I continue to walk away, “(Y/N)!”

“What?” I stop and turn around, “Julie,I’ve already told you nothing is going on.”

“(Y/N), I know that isn’t true. Why don’t you just tell me?” Julie asked softly. 

As much as I was jealous of Luke and Julie’s relationship, Julie was still one of my friends. 

I sighed, “Fine,” I turn around to face Julie, “The reason I’ve avoided Luke was because I was jealous.”

Julie looked confused, “Of…?” 

I paused for a moment, debating on whether to tell Julie or just poof out. 

“I was jealous of you.” I say before diverting my eye contact.

“Me?”

“Of you and Luke. I mean the way he looks at you. He obviously likes you.” I say, my voice going quiet.

Julie was silent for a moment before she burst out laughing, “Wait, you think that Luke and I like each other?”

“Well, yeah…” I say, folding my arms across my chest.

Julie stops laughing but she still had a smile on her face, “(Y/N), there’s literally nothing going on between Luke and I. In all honesty, I thought the two of you were together by the way he talks about you when you’re not around,” Julie cleared her throat before putting on a terrible impression of Luke, “ ‘I wish (Y/N) was here, I miss her.’, ‘What do you think (Y/N) will think of this?’, ‘(Y/N) looked beautiful today.’,” Julie finished, “Do you want me to go on?”

I sighed, “Yeah, well we’re not together.”

“(Y/N), you obviously like him and he obviously likes you, so go for it!” Julie said.

“Julie, he doesn’t like me that way. All those things he said about me were him just being friendly.” I deny. No matter how much I wanted them to be true, they probably weren’t.

“Who said I didn’t like you that way?” A voice said behind me.

My eyes widened as Julie smirked.

“I’ll leave you two alone.” Julie said before walking out the garage and closing the door behind her.

I turn around to face Luke, my heart racing. How much of that did he hear?

“Luke, I-” I cut myself off because I didn’t know what to say.

“(Y/N),” Luke took a step forward, he looked down at me as I tried to avoid eye contact, “I wasn’t just being friendly when I said those things.”

“Are you sure? You say things like that all the time.” I mumble.

Luke chuckled before taking another step closer. Now he was within reaching distance.

“(Y/N), I said those things to you all the time because I like you.”

When I didn’t respond, he took another step forward and placed his hand under my chin, making me look up at him. As much as I tried to avoid eye contact, I couldn’t.

“I don’t like Julie. I like you, I always have.” Luke confessed.

My mouth opened and closed, I was unsure of what to say. 

Luke smirked before he took a hold of my waist and pulled my body against his, “Well, aren’t you going to say something?”

“I-” I cut myself off and looked at him. The boy I liked - no loved - was holding me in his arms. Not only that, but he liked me back. I could only think of one appropriate response.

“Well-” Luke started but he was cut off.

I pressed my lips to his as my hands were pressed against his chest. Luke quickly kissed me back, pulling me closer - if that were possible - by the waist, while his hand held the back of my head. I smiled into the kiss. 

All of those years I head spent having a crush on Luke, he had felt the same way all this time. I felt stupid for not realising it and wished I had done this sooner because the feeling rushing through my body now was one I hadn’t experienced before. 

“Finally!” A voice came from the doorway. 

Luke and I broke apart once we heard the voice. Luke groaned and turned around to face Alex. 

“Get lost, Alex.” Luke said while I chuckled.

Alex held his hands up in surrender but a smile was toying at his lips, “Okay, okay, I’ll go.”

Alex left with a smirk on his face before Luke turned back to face me.

“Where were we?” Luke mumbled.

“Well, it involved me, you and this…” I wrapped my arms around his neck and pressed my lips to his once more.

[cheri-translates]

[CN] Gavin’s Private Photoshoot Date (Eng Translation)

🍒 Warning: This post contains detailed spoilers for a date which has not been released in English servers! 🍒

Valentine’s 2020 Collection: Kiro // Lucien // Victor

MC wants to go for a couple photoshoot with Gavin but is afraid of getting rejected. To lessen the potential blow of rejection, she asks Willow to play “matchmaker” and pretend that Willow won the chance to go for the photoshoot in a lucky draw but has no use for it

Gavin arrives, and MC fumbles with her reasons as to how the photoshoot would be beneficial for her work. To her surprise, Gavin agrees without a fuss

On the day of the photoshoot, they head to Planet Photo Studio

MC is unsure which theme to go for, so the photographer recommends a rather sultry theme incorporating feathers and spider webs. She asks Gavin for his opinion, and he is fine with it after making sure MC doesn’t have to wear revealing clothing

They change into their outfits, and she gets stunned by how he looks:

The slightly modified style matches the striped shirt Gavin is wearing. A feather-shaped pendant rests near his slightly exposed chest. It perfectly brings out the casualness that oozes from Gavin’s bones.

Noticing my eyes lingering on him, the corners of Gavin’s mouth lift.

Gavin: What’s wrong?

MC: Nothing much. I rarely see you dressed like this, so I’m a little surprised. What I mean by “surprised” is… that you look exceptionally handsome!

Not expecting my straightforward compliment, Gavin coughs lightly, and turns his head to the side to hide his blush.

Gavin: You surprised me today as well… Let’s go in.

MC’s confidence in doing the photoshoot eventually wanes because the photographer isn’t satisfied with how the photos turn out

The photographer comments that Gavin and MC seem to be too focused in aligning themselves with the theme of the photoshoot, but she wants to capture the real MC and Gavin, not just the feathers and spider webs.

According to the sequence of the photoshoot, the next pose requires me to sit on Gavin’s lap.

I repeat to myself internally: “This photoshoot requires me to be intimate. Just be natural, be intimate…” I let out a breath, and carefully sit on Gavin’s lap.

However, my stiff body feels like a wooden puppet. My pose ends up looking neither seductive nor sexy. The fact that the photographer has yet to press the camera shutter makes me even more nervous.

At this moment, a firm hand suddenly holds my waist. Gavin’s other hand cradles the back of my neck, his fingers carrying with them irresistible strength.

The distance between us closes in an instant, and I feel the warmth of Gavin’s palm on my cheek.

Looking at my flushed face through the reflection in his amber eyes, I am about to open my mouth to speak, but hear a shutter click from the side.

They finally get a satisfactory shot, and the photographer tells them to take a break. MC realises she is still sitting on Gavin’s lap:

MC: Gavin, I should… be getting up.

Gavin: This is quite nice actually. Or do you not like it?

MC: It’s not that I don’t like it… Anyway, why did you suddenly change the pose just now?

Gavin: I felt that you were too tense. So why not transfer some of that burden and stress to me? It’s just a photoshoot, there’s no need to worry so much.

MC decides to apply lip balm for Gavin because the lights from the studio are very bright and drying:

I put a little paste on my finger, and carefully rub it on Gavin’s lips.

MC: Don’t move.

Gavin freezes, not expecting my action.

His lips feel soft under my touch. Under the light, his moisturised lips have an attractive luster.

At this moment, Gavin is within reach, and all that I see is Gavin. The familiar scent of Gavin and the foreign smell of the gel entwine, making my heart beat faster and faster.

At such a close distance, my fingers can feel each and every single warm breath of his.

Under his amber gaze, his scorching breaths seem to be getting closer and closer…

Unfortunately they get interrupted by the photographer who tells them that the shoot can continue.

After the photoshoot, Gavin leaves for a mission which takes half a month.

In the present, MC receives a call from the photoshoot studio telling her that the photos are ready, so she collects them and goes to Gavin’s house to drop them off.

Gavin coincidentally returns from his mission while she is there, and she decides to tidy the place up while waiting for him to finish bathing. He finishes his bath, decked in the same striped white shirt he wore during the photoshoot. He sees her tidying the place:

Gavin: No need to trouble yourself. I can tidy the place up later.

MC: It’s no trouble at all. You should rest!

While saying this, I pull Gavin over to the sofa, beckoning him to sit down.

MC: Every time I’m at your house, you always treat me like a guest. I also want to t-treat this place as… as…

Even though I had rehearsed these two lines several times in my head, they end up stuck in my throat at the most important moment.

Gavin understands my expression and smiles, voicing the words I have yet to say.

Gavin: As your home.

MC: Exactly! So there’s nothing wrong with cleaning and maintaining the hygiene of one’s own home! If you feel bad about it, then… when I call you to help me with window-cleaning in a few days, we’d be even.

Gavin: Sure, I’ll be waiting for your call.

He asks why she decided to drop by, and she explains that the photos from the photoshoot are ready. He comments that he had planned to organise photos from previous shoots too, so they take a trip down memory lane while looking through past photos on Gavin’s bed. 

Some photos include blurry pictures of MC that Gavin took hastily whenever he spotted MC during missions but couldn’t say hello.

Suddenly, MC receives a business call and she leaves the room to deal with it. By the time she comes back, Gavin is asleep:

I quietly sit on the bed, a little angry at how Gavin always tries to be strong.

I can’t help but lean over and gently poke Gavin’s face… it feels nice.

This light touch seems to turn on a switch within me, and it is as though I am under a spell, addicted to it.

Gavin’s hair is coarser than I imagined, reminiscent of how persevering he is.

The bridge of his nose… a bone? No wonder his nose is so pretty.

My touches continue downwards. The second my fingers reach the corner of his lips, my mind brings me back to the scene half a month before when I was helping him apply the lip balm. It was this same softness, the same warm breaths that wrapped themselves around my fingertips…

I am just about to finish my little prank, but realise that my fingers are gripped onto tightly by Gavin. It is as though I am awakened from a dream, and I take in a shocked breath.

MC: Gavin…?

Gavin: …Mm?

Gavin blearily opens an eye before letting out a light yawn. My face flushes in surprise and shame, yet I pretend that nothing had happened.

MC: Y-you… When did you wake up?

Gavin: Just. I felt an itch.

MC: I didn’t mean to wake you, just that I rarely see you sleeping, so… Please continue sleeping! I’m really not going to bother you anymore!

I think of retracting my hand, but Gavin has no intention of letting go. Instead, he rubs the back of my fingers with his thumb.

Gavin: It’s not convenient for us to talk like this, let’s change positions.

Before I can agree, Gavin pulls me into his arms, the bed letting out a squeak from the weight.

MC: Shall we continue with the photos?

Gavin: We can do that later.

He hugs me a little tighter, his chin resting on my forehead, and I feel the roughness of his stubble.

MC: … Did you forget to shave?

Gavin: Does it hurt?

MC: No…. This is good.

And that is the truth. A simple clean home and an easy-going Gavin who doesn’t put up walls around me. Being able to enjoy a rare sliver of rest in such a busy world – There is nothing more pleasant than this.

Gavin: When you were taking the call, I looked at the photoshoot pictures. It was a little…

MC: “A little” what? Do you not like it?

Gavin: No, I like it very much. It’s just that the “you” in the photo didn’t really seem like you. Your pose was far more assertive than usual.

Just remembering the warmth of the photoshoot causes my entire face to blush.

MC: T-that’s only because of the photographer’s professional skills, the atmosphere and the lighting! Though I am rather passive in real life…

Gavin: You were quite assertive this time round.

MC: Hm?

I look up, not understanding what Gavin means. Gavin looks down at me at the same time. We are so close that our noses are almost touching, and I can see each and every one of Gavin’s eyelashes, and the narrowing of his eyes.

Gavin: When you and Willow were in the pantry discussing how she should play “matchmaker”, Minor was standing outside.

MC: So you knew from the start that I would invite you? Minor that little… I’m going to dock his-

Before I can complete my sentence with “pay”, Gavin seals my lips with a kiss.

His tongue pries open my lips, capturing all my lines of defense.

Gavin’s lips are even warmer than they were when I applied lip balm for him during the photoshoot, and it feels as though I am about to get scalded.

In the midst of the unbearable heat, I let out a whimper which is instantly swallowed by Gavin.

In the quiet bedroom, there are only sounds of our entangled breaths.

The photos we have yet to put away fall around us. These past moments witness this present kiss.

After a long while, Gavin’s voice is at my ear.

Gavin: Apart from photographs, I can give you even more private memories.

Gavin’s breath is as overwhelming as a spider’s web that leaves one defenseless.

The sound of the blinds being pulled shut is reminiscent of a camera’s clear shutter.

Click.

📷

Phone calls: First // Second

[ariadneamare]

a playlist for you | levihan

word count: 1.9k

warnings: 18+ audience only, angst

a/n: so i'm not really good at writing nsfw so this is all i can do for now (?) let me know what u think! < about the story i mean and not the nsfw HAHAHA ok anyway here it is

Day 1 // Honne

"You'll always be my day one," she whispered at his sleeping form. The two met nine months ago at a party Hanji's friend held for the fourth of July. It took her hours to decide if she wanted to go. Between the thesis that had to be done and the tempting bottles of vodka on the picture Petra sent, she came to a conclusion. 

In that very moment, that very temptation lead her to a good outcome. A grumpy midget. 

They both decided to just be friends with benefits. For Hanji's part she did not know as to how it worked. Do they just fuck and fist bump after? 

The sex was insanely good, but the thing that came after? Feelings. Feelings were what came after. 

Everything hit different with Levi. Something about the way he dragged the tip of his cock along her opening as he whispered, "I love the way you scream my name," made her carve the features of his face on her mind. Something about that very gesture the first night they met stuck with her. 

"Day zero when I was no one," she continued. Taking her index finger, she traced his brows and moved to his lips. "I'm nothing by myself, you and no one else." 

Falling for someone was the last thing she intended to do on her last year of university. She had dreams and goals to achieve, Hanji could not afford to fuck up. But, maybe this mistake might not be so bad. Maybe, it would even be the one thing that'll make her happy. Make her whole. Make her warm. 

"What are you mumbling?" 

"Oh, Levi!" As soon as she heard the voice, Hanji withdrew her hand to her chest. She looked at him with wide eyes, her voice small as she added, "I was just talking to myself." 

"C'mere," Levi's voice is husky as he pulls her in. His hands tighten around her waist and he hardens, her boobs pressed up against his chest. "Go to sleep." 

Hanji closes her eyes and tries to focus on falling asleep instead of the voice in her head. Last time she checked, fuck buddies don't cuddle in bed. 

Everytime // Ariana Grande 

"For the last time, Hanji!" Nifa shouts frustratedly, picking up her clothes on the floor and stuffing them in a duffel bag. "He's not good for you. He fucked a quarter of the med students! Goes partying almost every night, and ends up sucking someone's face by the time the party disperses." 

One drunken night, Hanji spilled everything to Petra and Nifa. From how she's falling for him, to the idea that she's willing to do anything for Levi. Absurd really, but it was love. At least that's what she thinks. 

"What about it? And he doesn't fuck strangers anymore. He told me so, it's all me now." Hanji tries to argue, taking the bag from her friend and zipping it up. "People are capable of changing, if you're not aware." 

"No! Listen to me, for once! Please, listen to me." 

"You listen to me!" She pulls at her hair, dragging her palm down her face and settling them by her hips. "Just this, allow me to have this." 

"I want to, but I can't, okay?" Nifa approaches her, placing both hands on each shoulder. "I can't let you when I know what he is like." 

"I know what he's like, and it's nothing compared to how you picture him." 

Nifa looks down for a second before dragging her eyes to meet Hanji's, "I can't do anything to tell you otherwise?" 

"No, I'm sorry." Hanji breathes, cupping her left cheek. "I can handle myself, okay?" 

"Okay." 

Thirty minutes later, Hanji sat on her bed alone. Staring up at the ceiling before saying, "they keep telling me to let go but I don't really let go." She closes her eyes, looking back at their moments together. 

Until now, everything remained blurry. No label, no assurance, no confession. Just a bunch of afternoons spent fucking in her dorm or his car. 

Hanji knew she deserved so much better than casually fucking and making out. But something about him made her stay. It sounded like something every person says before getting cheated on, yet she still did not budge. 

"Why, oh why does god keep bringing me back to you?" She whispers, slapping her cheeks repeatedly. 

Last Night // Lucy Spraggan 

"Last night I told you I lo—" Hanji tries to explain and apologize but he cuts her off. Raising a hand and standing up from his position on the bed. 

They booked a hotel room last night after going out. The two drank more than what they could handle. It took Levi 24 shots and 16 for Hanji before they got wasted. And wasted they were. 

Their arms were intertwined to keep balance, noise erupted from each other's mouths. Giggles from Hanji's part and grunts from the man. One thing lead to the next, the two had crazy drunk sex. Even though she was drunk, a part of her was still aware. 

Aware of how everything he did became even more attractive. The way he unbuttoned his dress shirt made her insides twist and turn. 

Last night, she even got to see a side of him he rarely showed. Most times when they had sex, Levi took control. But everything was different last night. He squirmed under her and moaned loudly, his eyes rolling back as his legs started to shake. 

After three rounds, the two sat in bed side by side. They stared at the city from the window. Enjoying the peace and cold the night brought. Hanji enjoyed counting the cars that passed, while Levi stared at her. 

It was impulsive, but she did not regret it as much as she expected. The three words came out of her mouth smoothly, and if he did not listen closely then he would not notice how it seemed so rehearsed. 

"Hanji, I am not the person for you." 

It hurt, but it was true. He only spoke of the truth, yet Hanji hated him. Levi could have lied, he could have told her he loved her too. But he didn't. And she should be grateful, she should be. Anger bubbled up inside her, anger for both of the people in the room. 

At him for being so… so him. For being everything yet nothing at the same. 

At her for allowing this, for not keeping her walls up. For being a fool. 

Thinking of You // Katy Perry

Levi tried. At best, he tried. 

For months, he noticed the way Hanji looked at him. He did not mean to assume, it was just too noticeable because it was how his mom looked at him.

Like he was too precious for the world. Like he was special. Like he was loved. 

He knew any time she would say those words, but he did not think it would be so soon. Levi has not prepared himself for anything. He did not know what to say or do. He's never experienced anything so pure ever since his mom. Most people regarded him in ways he knew how to handle. 

Either in respect or simply lust. With respect, he just had to reciprocate it. And lust, give them a dick and it was all good. 

But love, it was like calculus for an elementary student. Too complex and, in some cases, too much. 

And because he did not want to think about Hanji or the way she said I love you with her wide eyes, he went out to party. 

There he met Erwin. A buff man in a crisp suit. Not too many words were uttered, but moans were echoing in the bathroom of the bar. The guy was handsome and built as hell, who was Levi to reject a blessing? 

As he was being rammed, his hands on the sink for balance and mouth agape in pleasure, a certain person kept popping up on his mind. Even though Erwin kept pushing in so hard from the back that Levi's hands kept slipping off the sink, he could not help but think if Hanji slept with another person too. With that thought, it riled him up. He pushed his ass backwards to meet with Erwin's aggressive thrusts and in five more the two came in sync, muttering curses underneath their breaths. 

As they fixed themselves up, Erwin passed him a business card before leaving. He did not even check the words written before throwing it in the bin. The condom he threw seconds ago sat beside it and he cringed at that. 

"When I'm with him, I am thinking of you." He stared at his own reflection and scowled. What did he get himself into. 

Do I Wanna Know // Arctic Monkeys 

"Hey," he breathed, voice deep and slurred. Two empty bottles of gin stood on his coffee table. 

"What are you doing?" Hanji tried her best not to let her walls break. She knows when too much heartache is enough. 

"Crawling back to you," Levi chuckled before continuing. "Ever thought of calling when you've had a few? 'Cause I always do." 

"Levi, I can't do this right now." It has been about a month, and Hanji has learned. Nifa and Petra did not let her off easily despite crying for days. They lectured her for a week straight, but did not leave her side. They brought food, reminded her about assignments and even took her out on dinner dates. "I have to go." 

Build Me Up Buttercup // The Foundations 

"Levi, you cannot just build me up just to let me down." She pushed him away as he tried to hold on either side of her arm. Hanji was on her way to the cafeteria when Levi pulled her and dragged her to a secluded corner, asking if they could talk. 

"I'm sorry," he blurts out and it makes her pause, his forehead creases as he looks at her with pleading eyes. "Help me, I do not know how to do this." 

Hanji's eyes widen in horror, "what do you mean? Are you okay?" 

"This whole thing, this lo-love." 

It took every nerve inside of Hanji's body for her not to laugh at him. She found it weirdly cute. Sure, he broke her heart, but the man was clearly trying. 

"Is Levi 'I am not the person for you' Ackerman asking for my help?" She brought one hand under her chin, feigning brainstorming. 

"Oh, so you want to think hard? How about I give you something else that's hard?" He pulls her, his bulge meeting with her crotch. "But honestly though, what a simp you are." 

"So you want me to give you a hard time and reject you now? Make you wait for a year?" She smacks his chest. 

"No, I'm fine with waiting but I want you now." He kisses her cheek a couple of times before pressing his lips on hers. 

"Look at you, suddenly a softie," she teases as their noses meet. 

"Have I not always been one?" 

"Yeah, I kept wondering if fuck buddies usually cuddle after sex. Or give the other lunches that they made on their own. Or cleaning the dor—" 

"Okay, you made your point already, four eyes." Levi raises one hand to cup her cheeks, making her look at him in the eye. "I can't promise you something perfect from the books, but I am willing to give you everything that I am." 

"Such a sweet talker!" 

"Oh, whatever." 

[lazycatmeowsalot]

“You’re so unfair,” Aether says suddenly, distressing the red archer.

Amber has bounces excitedly towards the young man when she sees her traveling friend come to Mondstadt and has asked him if he wants to have picnic with her. It’s been ages since they have hanged out and it’s her birthday so she’s hoping to spend it with Aether.

‘Am I being pushy?!’ the outrider wants to immediately wilt at the unexpected answer the traveler gives. She knows how difficult and time consuming the traveler’s daily routines are but still, it’s a little disappointing to be rejected. ‘Is Aether too busy today?!’

Aether, realizing how his response sounds, smiles in assurance, “I’m not saying no.”

He scratches his cheeks awkwardly and Paimon makes an appearance to translate what the traveler wants to say. “Aether just thinks that it should be him saying this instead!” their pixie-like friend blunts out plainly, causing the golden-haired male to blush and look as if he wants to cook her. “We went back here for you specially! He also tried to rehearse how to word out his invitation and even gathered many small lamp grasses for present!”

“Paimon, you traitorous emergency food! Inside voice! INSIDE!”

Amber watches loudly, her eyes twinkling and glowing at the two unusual travelers who have become her closest companion. She thinks warmly of how Aether has tried to prepare him gifts and with what Paimon has said, the archer knows that the two intentionally have gotten back to Mondstadt to celebrate her birthday.

She really has the greatest and dearest friends.

[realisticallystan]

I Can’t Leave Them -- JATP x Reader

Warnings: contains death(s), angst, major depression ++ JUST SAD OK, slightly unedited but can probably do a rewrite a week or two after I posted this. 

Song I listened to while writing: 

- Beginning of the End Movement V (The Newton Brothers) + used for death scene

- Somewhere Only We Know (slowed)

(A/N: Idk why I wrote this but it felt really cathartic and it’s how I imagine it would be if someone was friends with them or anything and had to be there when they died... apologies cause this sh*t is sad) 

-

-

-

She woke up in a start, heart racing as she fought to catch her breath. Her eyes closed as she held a hand to her chest, feeling the quick beat under the soft skin there, moist with sweat.

“Not that night…” She whispered softly, shaking her head gently. She couldn’t help the frustration she felt with herself, for letting herself think she could sleep a single night without going back to that day.

As her eyes opened, she felt the tear gently weld up in the corners, moments away from dropping. The cause being the harsh remembrance that he was gone. Her person who made her feel so peaceful, so present and undeniably content in her day to day.  She often wished she could have him be here, to hold her through the grief, the grief of losing him, but that was impossible.

She knew it was.

Yet she hoped she could see him, feel him, even smell his woodsy scent; riddled with hints of pine and oak. She never really could figure out how he had always used to smell so enticing, but he always was surprising her.

Even till the last couple of minutes before… he was gone.

She sucked in a breath, curling her legs up to her chest and letting her hands rest on her knees. She could still see it so vividly.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Y/N stopped outside of the studio, feeling the gentle, warm breeze kiss her skin as she listened to the boys all chattering loudly over each other from inside. They were laughing heartily and she could make out a small thud before the double doors swung open just enough for one boy to walk out. Her eyes quickly met his blue ones as he stopped outside and let the doors close behind him. She produced a small wave as he moved slowly to lean back against the now closed doors, taking in her appearance of some comfortable mom jeans, sneakers, and a black Sunset Curve t-shirt. She by all means looked ordinary, but the way he looked at her made her feel like she was everything and more.

“Hey gorgeous, how you doin?”

He had nodded at her in greeting, and it made Y/N try to fight back her smile, her lips itching to form a goofy smile that only he could give her. She never could fight her smile with him. He had this effect on everyone, and never failed to charm the people around him.

“Just dandy Lucas.” She teased with a small smirk, looking at the boy who practically bounced his way over to her as he walked. He was radiating so much energy, since today was their biggest day in their whole lives. It was their time to shine.

He neared her quickly and stopped about an arm’s length away, frowning at her with crinkled eyebrows.

“Hey, hey!” Luke pouted, shaking his arms in rejection. “I refuse to be called that and you know that, you she-devil.”

This had made Y/N scoff, jokingly of course, never once had the guitarist ever truly upset her .

“If you weren’t performing a major, life-changing gig tonight,” She raised her eyebrows and pointed at him. “I would not hesitate to punch you.”

“Aw,” He grinned cheekily, swooping down to press a soft kiss to her cheek.

“You do care.”

Now, that did draw an eye roll from Y/N, and she found herself heading towards the house to get a water bottle before going to watch them rehearse. She had heard his jogging steps as he came up beside her and walked with his arm wrapped securely around her shoulders as he followed her lead to the house. As they did this, she felt glad to be in this moment, it felt so human, and right.

It felt like she could live in this feeling forever.

He was as loyal and true as he could be, he owned it even. Y/N wished she could just live as freely as he did but how could she, she was not as confident as him, but oh how he brought out the very best in her. So she was told by all her friends, the boys, and her parents.

“What is on that busy mind of yours?” He questioned, hitching himself onto the counter as he took in the oddly empty house. It never was quiet around here, but nobody minded. It was always something that felt natural to them.

She could go on for days how grateful she was for them being supportive and even letting them store water in their fridge for days like this. Rehearsals before the big moment.

The Orpheum.

“Tonight is going to change our lives!” She explained with amazement, in almost disbelief that this was really happening to them. She loved every boy as her own family, but with Luke… that was something everyone knew was different. Everyone knew that they were meant for each other.

“You are all so amazing Luke,” She finally placed all of the water bottles on the counter, deciding to grab one for all of them. “You deserve this, and… I love you.” She hesitated, but let it flow. It felt right, natural even, so who was she to stop it.

“You love me?” He smiled, sliding off the counter and slowly coming up to her. Y/N thanked the stars that the homeowners were away for the week, heart thudding against her chest. She felt his calloused hands grab hers, letting his forehead come down to rest against her own.

“So much,” She laughed breathily, causing him to chuckle too.

“I love you too,” Luke whispered. “All I want to do is see that gorgeous smile each day and make you laugh, at least once. That is my mission.” He spoke with admiration, making her feel like she was completely his.

And she was.

Luke brushed his lips against hers before capturing them in a kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she kissed him back gently, projecting all the love she could into it. He grinned and deepened the kiss, not hesitating to make her feel all the love he felt for her.

“As nice as this is,” Y/N pulled away softly, causing Luke to try and chase her lips with his, but she giggled and moved back. “We need to prepare for the Orpheum, it’s in a couple hours so we should really--”

“-Get going,” He raised an eyebrow at her knowingly. “It’s all good, I hear you.” He poked at her, moving to grab most of the waters she left out on the counter. She was thankful he did that, because Y/N knew she would drop them if she even attempted to do that on her own.

“Yes, exactly, rockstar. You catch on quick.” She praised with an amused tone, grabbing the last bottles as they walked out of the kitchen side by side, continuing to chat about their setlist.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

They had just finished their soundcheck, and it was one of the best times they had played, by far. She noticed how they all were just full of energy and it had to be the excitement of the show. Y/N was watching from near the bar and while singing, Luke managed to catch her eye and wink gently at her.

Yet now, Y/N suddenly felt fear as the guys finished chatting on stage and came down, heading directly towards her.  She managed to catch the mischievous glint in their eyes before they nodded all in agreement, suddenly running towards her with determination. Y/N shrieked and slid off her barstool, stumbling a bit, which would cause them to catch her almost instantly.

“Ew.. ew, you guys are all completely sweaty!” Y/N squealed, hoping to hurry by the four rowdy boys and away from their outstretched arms, but she found no such luck.

She groaned in mild disgust at feeling their sticky skin press against hers, but ultimately she gave in, letting them smush her in the middle of their group hug. While it was not her favorite hug  from the boys, she couldn’t help but happily sigh internally at how nice it felt.

“You guys killed that!” Y/N clapped as they pulled back and gave her some room.

“Right?” Reggie grinned, running a hand through his hair for adjustment. “I was worried I would trip over the wires and fall into Luke but it worked out in the end.” He spoke with animation and relief, causing Y/N to pat his arm, smiling at him.

“Good job hun.”

Reggie pouted at the nickname, feeling as if he was a child she assumed. She tended to mother him sometimes but he never complained and she knew the raven-haired boy enjoyed her presence just as much as the guys’ at gigs. Y/N had known him since around kindergarten and they grew up as best friends, they were quite an odd pair she was told. He had so much confidence and was always running around, eyes full of wonder as he always found something to enjoy.  While Y/N was definitely a little bit sensitive; she loved endlessly, was sarcastic and was very funny too, always making the boys smile somehow. When they first met, Reggie had seen the girl get shoved by another kid, she had fallen and had let a small tear run down her cheek in embarrassment. It wasn’t until a hand came into her view that she looked up and saw him, there with a smile and she felt safe. He was basically her brother and she had felt it since that day. If he made her feel safe, she vowed she would do the same for him.

“You know what I mean.” Y/N  nudged her shoulder against his, a knowing smile drawn on his pale face. Their inside jokes just coming straight to both minds, no doubt. 

“Yeah yeah” He teased, when the guys suddenly turned in Y/N’s direction, multiple sets of eyes falling onto her form

“Y/N,” Luke spoke first. “Odds you want to come get street dogs with us?

“Yeah, please do.” Alex chimed in.

“Bobby is chickening out.” He finished with a pointed stare at the mentioned boy. 

You know he was kidding but his expression did seem to hold some truth behind the annoyance. It is important for bands to bond and really get along with each other, so you could see his side.

“Shut up..” Bobby grumbled in denial, causing them all to laugh as he walked up to one of the workers, clearly trying to flirt with the pretty girl with beautiful dark skin and an enchanting smile.

Y/N could see his reasoning for being enamored, she was a truly gorgeous girl, but boy did he not have a chance. He was not good with the flirting, and she had seen him try many different times, all of which had not succeeded.

Goodluck dude, she thought and shook her head as he continued his escapade.

“Well,” Y/N clapped her hands together. “I kind of ate dinner on the way here but I do not want to watch that fall apart, so I’ll just tag along.” She shrugged, watching Luke slip his warm layers on in preparation for the damp alleyway.

“Can’t say no to that.” Alex shrugged and led the way, the rest of the group following after him. Y/N had easily slipped her fingers in between Luke’s and they walked hand in hand with the boys. She could feel his hand squeeze hers ever so gently, causing her heart to skip in her chest.

This boy… I swear. She thought, fighting back her smile and shaking her head.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Do you think I should tell him I spilt pickle juice on his cables?” Alex questioned quietly, looking Y/N in the eyes with silent guilt. She raised a hand to cover her mouth as she shook with laughter, the sound muffled by her hand thankfully.

She took a deep breath and glanced back at the man grilling.

“It’s kind of his fault for serving them out of the back of his car.” Y/N pointed out, shrugging at the  small mess Alex made. It did not seem like a big deal really, it would dry.  

He sighed and shook his head at you. This was not the first time Y/N had claimed someone got what they deserve and he usually was at the end of it, dealing with the little pranks the rest of the group pulled. Sure, they were also targeted against others, but Alex was always the favorite. This was simply because he tended to have the best reactions and it would make the prank all the better by the end.

That being said, even though she teased Alex, Y/N knew she could count on him for anything. She was nervous earlier in the kitchen, and hours later she still found herself feeling like something was off, something felt wrong. She was not one to say that she felt like something bad was going to happen, but she was anxious for sure. Y/N had just hoped this night would go smoothly, and follow the general plan she had created in her mind.

Perform.

Be Signed.

Party.

And lastly, become legends.

That’s what she had hoped for her boys.

“Uhm, Alex, ” She addressed him, walking beside him as they walked to the seating area. Luke and Reggie ahead of them and both laughing loudly about something the other said.

Alex stopped and looked down at her, being the one with the most height advantage in comparison to you. He could see this look in her eyes, one he knew he felt quite often. She was feeling anxious.

“Hey, tell me what’s going on.” He asked quietly, glancing back at the boys and seeing that they were still occupied. He knows how they sometimes miss signals, so he was glad to see that they were busy and are not likely to insert themselves into the conversation. It was clearly private from the way they had their backs to the boys.

“I’m not even performing... and I feel so nervous.” She confided, she was peering up at him, trying to keep her composure.

“Just a weird feeling in my stomach about something, I suppose.”

Alex used his free hand to reach out and rest on her shoulder, the weight of it being oddly comforting to her. She felt some tension leave her body as Alex, the boy who always seemed a bit anxious,  reassured her with ease.

“It’s okay to be nervous you know,” He chuckled, catching her eyes and she noticed that they showed no signs of lying, and that is how it’s always been. He can trust Y/N, and Y/N trusts him, so he would tell her just about anything.

“We are so close to performing. You just want us to succeed. That can be nerve-wracking, especially since you support us more than anyone.” He smiled, pulling his hand off of her shoulder, but making sure to give a comforting squeeze before that.

Y/N always appreciated Alex’s listening, he always paid attention. He always made sure everyone was okay, and never misses a sign of  distress.

“Now, come sit with us on this dirty couch while we eat these hot dogs, okay?” He nodded his head in the direction where the other two sat, the pair looking over at the two and waving them over. She knew he was right, because Alex was never generally wrong, but also because the instant she saw the other two boys she felt her chest ease up. It was like it felt easier to breathe.

Y/N smiled in agreement, nodding before walking with Alex to the seats. Y/N had sat between Luke and Alex, all four of them managing to fit onto the beaten down couch with some ease. Reggie leaned forward, looked around Luke and at Y/N happily, his hands cradling the hot tub in his hands.

“What were you guys chatting about?”

“Eh girl stuff, and since Alex is the only one with a sister, he is my only viable option.” Y/N shrugged, lying seamlessly. Alex smiled widely and nodded in agreement, managing to make it seem natural. He was never the best liar, even more so around the band since they all spend so much time together… they really get to know little things, like who is a bad liar.

At this moment, Alex didn’t see the point in lying but he also figured that there was no reason to expose the real conversation between him and Y/N so he just followed her lead.

“Okay, well now that that’s sorted.” Luke rolled his eyes playfully, Y/N bumping his side with her own at his remark. “We can really soak in the moments before we make it big.”

Y/N had sat on the musty old couch, watching Luke talk with this passion in his eyes. His hoodie was drawn over most of his soft, brown hair. She could not recall just how many times she had run her fingers through the dark locks, and would mostly do it to see Luke slowly fall asleep in a matter of minutes.

“This is awesome you guys.” Luke gnawed at his bottom lip, shaking his head in disbelief, but anyone could see the happiness he felt as he really absorbed the atmosphere and situation. The boys were also following along, hotdogs forgotten as they listened to the boy who never failed to shine, spoke with so much pride about them finally making it.

“We’re playing the Orpheum!” He beamed, Y/N’s breath had caught in her throat at just how purely happy and carefree he was, how they all were in that moment. “I can’t even count how many bands have played here, and ended up being huge.”

Luke took a second to really glance at all his friends that were present. With Y/N smushed into his side, he could feel her pressed against him and she was almost sure he could feel heartbeat skip when she just watched him look around. He then made eye contact with the two boys on either of his sides and Y/N did not miss the look he shared, the one of true brotherhood and love. He was glad that if he was going to be doing this, that it would be with them.

“We’re gonna be legends.” He breathed out, suddenly catching Y/N’s eyes as he smiled brightly down at her. He pressed a quick kiss to her lips, causing her to giggle quietly. She could feel the gentle pressure of his lips against hers still and she loved it.

“Ew.” Alex winced, looking at them, but was clearly only saying this to tease the two lovebirds.

“Shut up.” Y/N rolled her eyes and elbowed him in the ribs, she didn’t use very much force behind it so he could just lean away and Alex had then poked her in the rib for payback. She hated being tickled so she was glad it was only a single poke to the side.

“Hotdogs up boys.” Luke intercepted, all of the group remembering that they had been in the middle of something. “After tonight… everything changes.”

The three boys all held their hotdogs up, and Y/N had to lean back a little to not be in Alex’s arm path. They tapped their hot dogs together in toast before each one took a huge bite. Y/N had not missed the confusion in each of their eyes, the chews slowing down for each of them as they glanced at the hotdogs in their hands.

“Uhm,” Alex spoke through a full mouth, causing Y/N to grimace a little from the sight of it. “That’s a new flavor?”

“Oh chill man, street dog’s haven't killed us yet.” Reggie had countered, taking another small bite. She knew he could be a little clueless sometimes so she glanced over at Luke to gauge his reaction, and he seemed to have an uncomfortable look on his face. Y/N frowned a little when she noticed and grabbed his wrist that held the hotdog.

“Hey babe,” She spoke up softly. “You don’t have to keep eating that if it tastes weird. We can always grab a slice of pizza instead?”

Luke had sat there for a second, letting her hold his wrist for probably thirty seconds, before brushing it off as just a new type of meat being grilled. He smiled down at her and pulled her hand off, pressing a kiss to the back of it before letting go.

“Already got this guy right here,”  He pointed out before taking another generous bite of it. Y/N snorted and shook her head before leaning her head on his shoulder. The boys all chatted between bites, and she would laugh at the jokes being made.

She distantly recalled her thoughts from earlier, and she was right, indeed.

It felt like she could live in this feeling forever.

 -----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Only...

It didn't last forever.

She didn’t know what happened, or why it was so fast, but it happened. It didn’t wait for her to be ready, didn’t even let her realize the situation. It was so sudden when Luke leaned forward in pain, groaning as he let the last bit of hot dog drop from his hand. Y/N watched in confusion before he slid off the couch and onto the floor, hunched over on his knees. The other boys were just as confused as Y/N and quickly went to move to his side before they too felt an ache. Something they were not used to at all. It felt so different than anything they had experienced in their lives. She would have asked what was wrong with them, but Luke crying out in pain stole her attention, voice breaking.

“Y/N, it hurts.”

“Oh my god.” Y/N gasped before beginning to panic, thus catching the attention of the patrons around her. Multiple people had turned their attention to the group, some even moving closer to see what was going on. There were concerned looks when people noticed a young boy on the floor and two others slowly hunching over.

“Luke!?’ She exclaimed with worry, falling to her knees beside the boy as he panted deeply, arms clutching his gut. He was sweating like crazy and his skin had gone pale, his hair was sticking to his forehead as he squeezed his eyes shut in pain. She sucked in a shaky breath at his appearance, never seeing him without his tanned glow and warm skin. Yet, as she cupped his face and tried to get him to look at her, he felt somewhat cold, his body shivering a little underneath her touch.

“Hey baby, what’s wrong? Hey…” She pushed, begging him to speak to her. She could fix this, she could figure out something if he could just answer her.

He let his eyes flutter open to look at her, but he couldn’t speak as he took shallow breaths.

“Someone call 911!” Y/N shouted desperately, pulling her gaze away from him and looking at the people around them.

There were two people around Alex, who had collapsed when he tried to stand. They were helping him  sit up and offered some water, but he was slowly starting to look just as bad as Luke was. He was able to talk but he had sounded nothing like he had moments ago.

“The…. food..” He breathed out heavily, pointing shakily at the discarded hotdogs along the floor.

“S-Something in them.”  He whispered weakly, head lolling to the side onto someone’s side. It was frantic after that, people running to try and get rags, water, and some even had gone to flag down the two ambulances when they came. She distinctly remembered singling out the one person yelling that there were two coming. Since all three boys would not fit in one.

Y/N was crying, hyperventilating, as she tried to stay on top of this and stay strong for them. She glanced back at Reggie and he was crying, eyes closed as his lips moved but she couldn’t make out what he was saying. There were people just everywhere, and she wished she could be everywhere.

With each of her friends.

There wasn’t enough of her to be able to hold all three as they worsened with each moment.

“I-I… wan-..” Luke coughed, Y/N then leaned down and touched her head to his, feeling his hand weakly rest on her thigh.

“What is it baby?” She whispered, tears cascading down her rosy cheeks as she ran her thumbs across his cheeks. She did it so softly, as if she would hurt him more if she touched him the wrong way.

“I… wanna go.. h-home.” He managed, sniffling as his breathing slowed, and Y/N would be lying if she said she couldn’t begin to feel it. To see it.

The way his life was slowly going away, the breaths becoming shallower as he fought to stay with her. With his friends and family. She sobbed as he said that, nodding her head as she pressed a kiss to his forehead. Mind wandering to Emily, his mother, who she wanted more than anything for her to be here right now with her son. He was scared. He just wanted to go home, pretend this was a dream. So did she.

“We can do that, let’s do that.” Y/N choked out. “Let’s go home ok?”

“Okay.” He had barely nodded before collapsing, head thankfully being held up by her hands.

Her eyes widened in disbelief at this sudden movement. She then started to lower his head onto her lap, and quickly brushed some of the strands of wet hair out of his face before gently tapping his cheek.

No response.

“Luke?” Another tap.

There was no movement from Luke. He laid eerily still in her lap.

She had felt herself holding her breath. She waited for what felt like minutes before letting her hand slowly rest on his chest, directly above where his heart was.

She waited. 

She waited for the familiar heart beat beneath her palm, but it never came.

His heart had stopped.

“No no no….NO!” She screamed, sobbing with quick breaths, wrapping her arms around his body and resting her head in his neck. Y/N would be damned if she let him go. She rocked him in her arms, not caring how heavy he was on her legs, she would take the pain if it meant he would just breathe.

“L-Luke, I love you so much, okay?” She whimpered out, before she had begun to sob again. “I-it’s... okay.” 

This time, the sobs came out so harshly, that after two minutes a couple sets of gentle hands were pulling her arms off of him, and she would try to fight, but she couldn’t anymore. She had no strength left. She felt every part of her body screaming and crying along with her, her chest aching with a pain she would come to be familiar with. The kind women who helped Y/N up began to back her away from Luke, both gently consoling her to the best of their ability and asking her questions about their parents. She unlocked her phone, wordlessly handing it to one of them, not bothering to stop the stream of hot tears running down her cheeks. They stung her cheeks as they touched the irritated skin on her face.

But, she didn’t care how she looked... she could only feel.

And it was consuming her whole.

“Alex? Reggie?” She cried, eyes wandering over the three boys’ bodies as paramedics checked them. She was suffocating as she watched and her nose was dripping. Her eyes would be puffy for days after this but it didn't matter in the moment as she watched them finish checking the vitals and eyes.

“This one has a heartbeat,” One of them announced, calling more helpers over to load Reggie into the ambulance. She felt some relief, but there was no real way to tell how this would turn out.

Y/N glanced at the other who was with Alex, and saw that he was doing chest compressions, hoping to bring some life back into the boy she had known for years. The boy who was just telling her that it would be okay.

She watched as another paramedic immediately called for Luke’s death. Y/N let out a loud cry when the man had waved over a gurney for Luke’s body. She fought against the people holding her, attempting to run over and bring him back into her arms. She couldn’t leave him.

She wouldn’t.

“No stop, where are you taking him!” She protested with concern, breaking free and falling to her knees beside her boyfriend. She held his hand in hers, lips quivering when she noticed he couldn’t squeeze her hand anymore.

“We’re taking him to the hospital.” The paramedic spoke with sympathy, eyes taking in her appearance. She knew she looked like a complete mess but that meant nothing right now.

“You can ride in the ambulance, do you wanna come with him?” He gestured with a nod of his head towards Luke, who she couldn’t bear to fully look at right now. Not if she needed to think clearly.

“Or with the other two?” Y/N glanced over at Alex still hanging on in between but now placed on a gurney being moved towards the ambulance, with which Reggie was already loaded up inside. 

They had a chance. Y/N knew she had to go, she couldn't leave her best friend alone. She had to be there for him. “We can come get you the minute you get there, if you want, and show you where he is.” The medic suggested quietly, seeing the wheels turning in Y/N’s mind. They were hoping to be some kind of voice in the midst of the fog of her mind right now, and she found herself hearing it.

“Okay.”

————————————-

Y/N glanced at the clock on her bedside table. She had a blurred recollection of the event, but it was still the worst night of her life. She knows no other event could top it. This was her trauma. Luke’s death had broken her, brought her down to her weakest and most grieved parts, but the ride in that ambulance was almost worse. If not tied.

They were six blocks away from the hospital when they stopped trying to resuscitate Alex.

If it weren’t for Reggie’s hand in hers, his pulse thudding weakly, she would have completely shut off. Y/N remembered how it felt like a complete joke, for one second, she thought this was some huge joke.

Then she remembered. 

Luke.

His body, his… heart not beating.

No breaths.  

No charming smile.

Just nothing left.

He was gone and she would never feel him, see him, or hear him again. Oh, how she wished she could hear him singing softly to her in bed, holding her close and brushing his fingertips across her arms. He would tell her these wild adventures that the boys went on together. All of them deserving the best and loving each other so much.

They were approximately one block away from the hospital when Reggie flatlined.

Y/N sat in the ambulance at the hospital, frozen in the seat with tears in her eyes.  She stayed until it was empty, the medic bringing her mom and dad inside the vehicle to help her out. They were carefully helping her up and out and guiding her, both having an arm, to the car. The boys had been taken inside, stripped of belongings, and waiting for their parents to be collected at their homes and brought in to see them or identify them. She doesn’t really know what happened after she left, and she was glad she didn’t.

Y/N doesn’t remember much from that night.

Just the main portions that took place, but never the specific details. She has tried to shut that night out, maybe only focus on the last good memories spent with each one of them. It was hard, she just couldn’t forget that night.

She had tried.

She went to therapy, homeschooled for a little, and tried to date but she couldn’t. She tried to live and move on, but you can never truly move on, is what she found.

They were her family. She loved them ... so much.

Luke was scared, and was gone so fast.

Alex had tried his best for as long as he could.

Reggie was so close to being saved.

And Y/N ... she considered herself a ghost, just like them, because that's how she felt everyday after.

[im-whatchamccallit]

Their Idol Girlfriend is Given a Nation’s Title//ATEEZ

(A/N: I’m currently in love with WayV’s new video and haven’t figured out how to function normally after it. Ty)

Hongjoong

Hongjoong was proud of you for being the “Nation’s Pick”, seeing it as a well-deserved opportunity due to your talent and growth. You would be responsible for presenting the country to the entire world for future tourist and, instead of worrying about you traveling and being too busy to spend time with him, his main concern would be if you were ready for the upcoming task.

Hongjoong would listen to the speeches you’d have to do for certain events, staying up with you to research the other countries you’d be visiting, rehearsing greetings in those languages to make sure you seemed inviting and genuine. It almost felt like you were a trainee again.

Only after you felt fully prepared would Hongjoong grow upset at his future separation from you, going from his normal professional-minded self to his normal clingy-boyfriend self, cursing that the Korean Tourism Organization would choose you of all people, But how couldn’t they? You were known worldwide at this point, were great with the public, and very well spoken. Now he just curses you for being too perfect.

Seonghwa

Having the title of “Nation’s Thief” was amusing to both you and Seonghwa, he just let it go to his head a bit more.

With Ateez steady popularity, and many fancams of him being shared worldwide over millions of times, it was only natural that Seonghwa would become something of a bachelor in his home country. The moment the public learned that you, a fellow idol, were his girlfriend, the playful name of ‘thief’ was thrown around in interviews and online. You never took it to heart which allowed Seonghwa to bask in the purity of it all. Seonghwa would spam his social media with photos of you and him, captioning them with jokes of your title, more specifically about if any other “thieves” wanted to steal him away (only for you to make him change the caption because, joking or not, you both know people would take him up on that offer).

Yunho

The title of “Nation’s Fairy” left you in disbelief, and even more so Yunho. Why? Because the almost secret videos of your contemporary dance recitals from your youth were released, causing the media, your fans, non-fans, and various other celebrities to take into account how graceful and agile you truly are.

Ever since you debuted as an idol, your dances were mostly modern and hip-hop, a complete 180 from your childhood, but you were just as elegant. And, once Yunho discovered the reason behind the sudden title, he was not as shocked as before.

Yunho always knew you were a great dancer, watching you and taking in your every move and technique, amazed at how fluid they were, he was just surprised people noticed it now. Overall, his initial shock would disappear and he would continue to appreciate you as is, even asking when you’ll do more contemporary dances in the future, at this point secretly expecting more than what your idol self has shown.

Yeosang

It was undeniable that you were the nation’s sweetheart, you were adorable and kind hearted, everything about you screaming innocence. So it was always fun for Yeosang to tease you about the not so innocent things you’d do. When you let out a swear because you dropped something, or even grab a beer before settling in to watch a movie for the night, or even just kissing him once he initiated it, he’d always say in that almost sing-songy voice,

“What if the world knew our nation’s sweetheart acted like this?”

The title wouldn’t effect either of you much, Yeosang not seeing the true impact it has on you or your career. Sure, you sometimes had to pretend you were the purest thing on planet earth, but you didn’t mind being seen as cute and lovable. Yeosang would be fine with the sudden burst of attention you got and wouldn’t feel any different about the situation, even when you two were spotted together, Yeosang’s soft appearance nearly giving him his own title as the nation’s prince. So maybe it’s a win-win.

San

San was proud when you finally received the title of “Nation’s Girl Group”. He remembers it like it was yesterday, when you burst into their dorm and screamed “You won’t believe this!”

San would be a bit disappointed that with the title came a complete shift in your relationship, you two barely seeing one another. All preplanned dates would be cancelled because of last minute interviews, you’d be touring heavily and requested to model or make a cameo on some movie or drama, and your only form of contact would be minutes long FaceTime calls of you apologizing for not seeing him as much. But San would remind you both that once Ateez became the nation’s boy group, he’d be busy but will always make time for you, so he appreciates you doing the same now.

To put your separation worries to rest, San would suggest making it a competition, seeing how long you’d stay the nation’s girl group before Ateez makes it as the nation’s boy group. Of course, he felt awful betting on if you’d be able to maintain your title, but you and he had a strong competitive drive either way, and he thought it’d be a good way to encourage you to work harder, which is all he ever ask of you to do with your career and vice versa.

Mingi

Being the nation’s “little sister” was something you weren’t too fond of, and Mingi knew that, learning to avoid those words and topic when alone with you, but he obviously found himself gravitating towards the title more after finally seeing what the general public has all these years.

Mingi would go back to all your performances from your childhood when you first began singing, all the interviews you did acting so cutely that it made everyone’s hearts swoon, even to recent interviews where you would respond to any questions and comments in a shy manner. You truly were someone worth protecting, no wonder the nation saw you the way they did.

Nonetheless, Mingi would try to push aside the protectiveness that came with bestowing you with the title, reminding himself you aren’t the same little girl the world come to know you as, you were an adult that sometimes swore and sometimes drank a little too much just because you were of age and could, you could drive, you paid bills and owned your own home, and you would cry from hard days and curl up into a ball to sleep. You were an adult human, something you secretly hoped people would realize for years, but reluctantly kept up your squeaky clean public image, and what more could Mingi do than comply with your wishes?

Wooyoung

Wooyoung was a bit confused on how you didn’t let the title of “Nation’s First Love” go to your head, he knows he’d let the vanity consume him. Yet you were so humble.

Wooyoung felt the title was very fitting, the day he met you his heart nearly burst out of his chest and that was from your looks alone. But when you spoke to him, and he finally got to know you, your personality was enough to make him want to propose to you then and there. Wooyoung wouldn’t be too jealous at the attention you’d get from the media and general public, not even people gawking on the streets bothered him, his biggest concern would be if you were so perfect because you were pressured to be.

“It’s just the life of an idol; we only show enough of our true selves to connect with fans, but leave our truest selves for the days we need to remember who we really are.”

He always joked you were a fake philosopher when you said things like this, but learned to take that specific phrase to heart. You were an idol-actress with a fanbase that loved you and vice versa. You were always smiling for cameras and talking about your career as if it weren’t a big deal. All just to come home and wear sweats while eating instant ramen on the floor like you did as a kid.

Wooyoung found comfort in the fact that while you wooed everyone in your day to day life effortlessly, but that he was the only one that knew the actual you.

Jongho

Nation’s Mother’s Friend’s Daughter. It was honestly the last thing Jongho thought anyone would call you, yet here you were, shy and awkward at the fact you were blessed with such a title. He didn’t get it at first, wondering what exactly it meant and what would bring the public to this conclusion, but the media always seemed to give him examples.

“She’s an idol, but makes time to visit hospitals to keep the elderly and children company! I’d love to see more idols like her!”

“I just heard she made a huge donation without even alerting the media! She’s really a kind soul!”

“Did you know she’s pursuing a law degree? She’s so incredible!”

Granted, you never really liked for people to compare themselves to you, especially when it came to your fellow idols, but you humbly rejecting the praise only seemed to make it happen more. Although Jongho never saw it as a bad thing, and other idols never took it to heart, he still wanted to ease the unnecessary guilt you felt with having your title. He didn’t know how, but you both going out to eat after a day of shopping, you ordering something small like always, gave him the idea to order beer and chicken, as much as you could both possibly consume within an hour. You were always praised for being so in shape and healthy, never eating “fatty foods”, that he allowed you the opportunity to make one “mistake”, something harmless that would make you feel human. And after the first sip of the alcoholic beverage, and the world not suddenly collapsing around you, you truly did.

[chocolatemin]

LIGHTS, CAMERA, OFF-SCRIPT!

note: so hello!! i'm officially back at writing after a six-month long hiatus, special thanks to my friend who supported me and now i finally over came my writer's block!! also, thanks to that spongebob episode that inspired me to write this!! and also, i can't insert the keep reading button, it doesn't work )):

word count: 4.0k

synopsis: You were part of the university’s theatre club since freshman, you used to act and perform on stage until he came, you were on your mid semester during your second year in college. You suddenly turned down all the roles offered to you and chose to work as part of the scriptwriting and stage directing team. You thought no one would notice, but boy, you’re mistaken. Now that the other lead is sick, who will act in her stead? And one more thing, you don’t hate him, do you?

Ever since Beomgyu joined the theatre club, you stopped participating on acting. You always get chosen for the lead roles and you often refused, opted for supportive roles instead. There was only one time that you only agreed to do the lead role because the play was focused on mystery more than romance. The play was very successful and you are glad you didn't have to do those overly romantic and intimate scenes. But now that he's in the same club, you started to reject all the acting roles.

You were there on his audition as part of the judges and you saw his potential and talent. All your co-judges were convinced that he will be a great lead for acting. Not only he has stunning looks but he delivers the lines well and he has great facial expressions; in short he became the star of the theatre club.

Meanwhile, you shifted to be a part of the backstage. You worked in the scriptwriting and stage directing. It's not like you hated him, but you wanted to avoid being his lead. You were afraid that you might end up being paired up with him, now that you agreed to be a lead role even if it was only for one time. The president of the club told you that she wouldn't let you refuse the lead roles anymore. The theatre club became more popular because of you and the president wanted to return your help by giving the roles that will suit you perfectly- being the lead.

Let's just say that Beomgyu caught your attention since your freshman year. He wasn't very popular that time but you always noticed him. He always stood out in your eye and maybe, earned a tiny bit of crush on him. You were afraid to make mistakes while acting on rehearsals and on stage just because you were nervous having him around.

Not until this time.

You are all gathered in the backstage to prepare for the play that is set on the next few hours. The final rehearsal took place last night so that everyone wouldn't have the need to carry all the props, costumes and make-up again today. You had finished checking if there is missing on the belongings of the club that were left at the backstage last night.

Everyone is busy setting up. You were helping the props men to carry and set up the props on the stage. You returned to the backstage to see a commotion. The crews are panicking while the actors and actresses look confused.

"What is this commotion all about?" You asked in a loud voice enough for everyone to hear. Everyone turned their heads to your direction, even Beomgyu, but you were quick to avert your gaze.

"We have a problem! The lead actress caught a fever due to exhaustion and she won't be able to make it today!" The president told you with phone in her hands and visibly shaking, "What are we going to do now? Our play is within an hour and a half! We don't have enough time, we are-" You rushed to her side gave her shoulders a rub that helped tense body relax. "Jia, please calm down. We'll see what we can do." You mumbled softly while rubbing her back slowly and turned your head to the others, "And please, everyone, get back to preparing. We'll take care of this." Everyone went back to their own businesses as if nothing happened. While you and the other directors dragged the president towards the backdoor.

"We have to find a substitute to Wendy." The vice president spoke in as-a-matter-of-fact manner.

"We need someone who can act and sing," the Artistic Director calmly stated, "And someone who can memorize the lines easily." You can feel the tension between the four of you as your chest started to rise and fall. Your breathing started to get heavier each second that passes.

"What are we going to do now?"

"But what if we get someone who is already familiar with the lines, someone who actually knows the dialogues of that character..." You all looked towards the president. Your eyebrows knitted in confusion. "What do you mean by that?" You asked.

"Oh, wait! I know someone!" You looked to your side and saw the Artistic Director filled with excitement, she looked as if she just won a billion-dollar question.

"I know someone too," the president trailed her eyes on you, "Do you know someone who might be able to substitute Wendy?" You tilt your head to the side, eyebrows still knitted and confusion visible on your face.

"Uhh, I don't?" Your eyes searched for answer in their faces and they seem to have one.

"It's you." The president spoke, "You know the lines since you were in the scriptwriting team."

"But we don't have time to rehearse!" Your breath hitched as you spoke,"I can't-" Yeonjun, the vice president, interrupted your sentence, "You DON'T need to rehearse, it's you who wrote that character's lines. You should know the feelings and how to convey it properly."

"I am afraid I might make mistakes!"

"You used to act in front of the whole school, you were even the lead on the play that made our club more popular and loved. It's not like the audience would notice that, right? It will only get noticed by the audience if you let them." The Artistic Director argued, "We know you can pull that off."

The president stepped in front of you and held your hands, "Please, you are our only hope..."

You bit your lip, having no choice, "Fine. Just let me scan the script before the play starts."

"Thank you so much!" She hugged you and tears started to pool in her eyes, "I'm so glad you agreed." She wiped her tears as she spoke, "Let's get back to work, shall we?" And you all nod.

You head back to the backstage and saw the actors busy rehearsing their lines, without actions. The backstage is noisy but they all noticed that the four of you are now walking back towards the backstage.

"What happened?" One of the stage crew asked as soon as you reached the messy room.

"Well good news! We already found someone to replace our lead." The producer, also the president, happily made the announcement. "But we don't have time to do a dry run!"

"We don't have to do a dry run." Yeonjun answered.

"What?!" Everyone is shocked by the Yeonjun's words. They all look confused as their eyes darted towards the four of you and silence filled the room.

"Who is going to replace Wendy then?" Beomgyu asked quietly out of nowhere, his deep voice echoing loudly in silence and he added, "Is there someone who can memorize all the lines within an hour? And the play will run for almost three hours."

"Beomgyu is right. The play is quite long and so is the script." One of the actors supported.

"There is someone who knows the script and had it memorized." The Artistic Director answered, emphasizing on the words someone and knows, "All we need to do is to try fitting the costume."

"Who is it then?" Beomgyu asked.

"It is..." The president trailed off, and the three directors pointed at you. Beomgyu's eyes widen and everyone landed their gaze on you. Their stares instantly made you nervous and gave you goosebumps.

"May I ask why?" One of the actresses spoke.

"Well, she is the one who wrote that character's lines. She had it memorized. So we don't have to worry about that."

"But like Jay said, we don't have time to dry run."

"Of course, she knows how to convey the lines, she wrote the script; She used to be one of our actresses before, right? Of course she can act." Tension filled the air as everyone looked skeptical about having no dry run with the new lead.

"Please, trust Y/N and our decision."

"Okay, then let's start the fitting now." One of the members of the costume design team went over to you. Eventually, everyone went back to minding their own businesses.

"Please follow me." She smiled at you before picking up the costumes on the clothes rack and followed her. She ushered you the fitting room for girls and quietly closed the door behind you. She scanned you from head to toe, as if a robot memorizing your physique in an instant. "So, as I took a look on your figure, yours and Wendy's size don't seem to be that different from each other, however, you still must try fitting these clothes to see if we need adjustments."

"Oh, alright."

You finished fitting all the clothes and exited the room. Yena dragged you to the make up table and asked you to sit down, "Since we don't need to make adjustments, I will apply make up on you now. The costumes fit you perfectly so we don't need to worry about that." You nod and she started doing your make up. She applied the cosmetics carefully on your face. She took pauses between and squinted her eyes, checking if she put too much. Soon, she started doing your hair too. After a while, "You're all set now! Let's get you changed into your costume."

On the other side, Beomgyu can't help but to feel nervous and excited at the same time. Finally, his dream is slowly becoming true. He wanted to be your lead actor that is why he auditioned for the theatre club. Every time he watched the theatre club's plays every year, he can't help but to notice how stunning your performance were, even if they were supporting roles only. Until one time, when you played the lead role, he watched you in complete awe. You definitely stood out during the play; you were so beautiful, mystifying and alluring. You played the character very well, as if you were born to be on the stage. He was very jealous of the male lead, wishing it was him instead. That made him determined to join the club.

This experience for him is very nerve-wracking, not only because the play is different from the usual but also because his long-time crush, since freshman year is finally his lead. He can feel the blood rushing to his cheek due to excitement. He borrowed a mirror to one of the crews and checked his face. They didn't apply too much make up on him since his face is naturally glowing, and from the mirror, he can see that his face is flushed and his ears are as red as cherries.

"Beomgyu, are you okay? You seem bothered..." Soobin, one of the supporting characters, and the one who used to be your male lead, asked him.

"I'm fine, it's just that I'm so nervous..." Beomgyu spoke quietly, afraid that someone might hear him. He looked around to see if anyone is paying attention to them. But Beomgyu looking at your direction for several seconds longer didn't go unnoticed by Soobin.

"Ah, I see. I know you can pull it off, especially that Y/N is your lead." Soobin teased, he enjoyed how the younger reacted. He smiled as he saw how Beomgyu's eyes widen. "So that's why."

"Please don't tell anyone-" "that you're nervous because of Y/N?" "Yeah- no! That I'm nervous, you know, I'm not usually like this, the play is just so different from the previous ones. And this is just my second time being the lead, I am used to being the supportive role." Beomgyu started rambling which made Soobin laugh. "Why are you laughing?!"

"You look so funny. I promise, I won't tell anyone..." Soobin raised his right hand beside him and looked like he is taking an oath while Beomgyu relaxed a bit, "that you like Y/N." Soobin trailed off before laughing and Beomgyu threw him a dirty look, "I didn't say anything, how can you jump into conclusions like that?" Soobin just shrugged and patted the younger's shoulder before walking away towards the producer. A heavy sigh escaped Beomgyu's lips as he took another glance at your direction. You looked so gorgeous even with your hair just halfway done. He looked down and shook his head. There's no way he wouldn't get nervous.

"Thirty minutes left!" The producer announced startling everyone with her loud voice. Thirty minutes seem to pass quickly and soon the play started.

The show is now nearing its end and your last scene is next. You are on the backstage walking in circles until you are stopped by Yeonjun. "Why are you so nervous?" You turned to look at him in the eye, "It's been a while since I last performed on stage. I'm nervous that I might make a mistake at the end."

Yeonjun took your hand and rubbed circles on the back of your palm. "Come on, I know you can do it."

You smiled at him, "And oh, Y/N, are you ready for the kissing scene?" "Yes, of course- what? Kissing scene!?" To say that you became more nervous is an understatement, your hands are literally shaking against Yeonjun's and your face is all red. "Yeonjun, I don't know how to kiss!" "What?!"

"What is the problem here? Why are you two shouting?" The president stepped closer to the both of you. "We are NOT shouting; we are simply shocked." Yeonjun rolled his eyes.

"Y/N doesn't know how to kiss!" Jia laughed, "and what is the problem with that? Beomgyu can lead!"

"No! Beomgyu and Wendy did not rehearse the kissing scene because they were too nervous during rehearsal. Plus, I think they don't look good together so it's fine that they did not do it." Jia elbowed Yeonjun's side, "What are you talking about? I didn't ask for your opinion on Wendy and Beomgyu!"

"Sweet cupcakes, what do I do now? It's the next scene!" You are shaking, you do not want to mess up, especially at the end of the play, and also not with a scene with Beomgyu.

"Y/N, please standby. You'll be on stage in five." The crew behind the curtain reminded you.

"Y/N, I have an idea." Yeonjun blurted out, a grin creeping up on his face. "What now?"

"Practice it with me!" Yeonjun winked at you shamelessly, raising his brows to tease you more. "What the hell?" Jia exclaimed, "that's disgusting, Yeonjun. Go kiss Soobin instead!" You sighed, not knowing what to do.

"Y/N! It's your turn now." You nervously looked at Yeonjun and Jia and wore your mask before heading to the stage.

"We wish you luck Y/N..."

"Mademoiselle, you came." Beomgyu, who is sitting on the bench on a garden, looked at your direction. He stood up and took slow but big strides towards you. He offered his hand to you and you gladly took it.

"If it wasn't for the prince." You smiled at him, "So what is it that you want to tell me privately, my Prince?"

"I have something for you, Mademoiselle." He put his hand inside his pocket and pulled out a ring, "This is for you, Milady... If you'll let me?" You nod and he raised you hand, putting the ring on it. The ring perfectly fits your finger. He knelt to the ground and kissed the back of your hand. You stared at each other's eyes, full of emotions that you weren't able to tell to each other. He stood up and took his mask off; you can't help but to stare at how gorgeous he looks after he removed the mask that hid his beautiful features. Beomgyu leaned closer to your ear, "Now, Mademoiselle, will you please close your eyes?"

You closed your eyes and felt his hand remove the mask that covers your face. This isn't part of the script! You thought to yourself. The only thing you can hear is your heart beating loudly inside your chest. You became more nervous each second that passes and you felt his breath fanning near your lips. You feel his hand snake around your waist, pulling you closer and a pair of soft lips touched yours. Your eyes shot open as a reflex and you saw Beomgyu with his eyes closed. You were quick to act and closed you eyes, bringing your right hand on his chest and your left on his nape. This is not part of the script either. You felt his lips moving and you tried your best to reciprocate the kiss. Never did once it crossed your mind that your first kiss will be like this.

You pulled away just as your eyes fluttered open and stared at Beomgyu's pretty eyes. You were blushing furiously, you can feel it, and everyone can see it- so does Beomgyu. You can see that his ears are red and his cheeks are tinted with pink. You both smiled to each other and you thought to yourself, is this still part of the script?

Beomgyu is having the time of his life. Sure, he is nervous but as soon as he saw you walking back to the stage, he immediately gained confidence. He knows he will not embarrass himself in front of you. He feels like his heart is going to jump out of his chest, he is too happy. Not only he get to be your male lead, but he also get to hold your hand, dance with you and even kiss you.

All of a sudden, a sweet orchestral music started playing quietly, as if it were from a ballroom hall near the setting. Beomgyu knelt to the ground looking like a real prince, offering his hand to you, "My lady, may I have this dance?"

"Of course, my Prince." You took his hand and he stood up, pulling you closer towards his body. He wrapped his arm around your waist and his other hand holding yours. You put your free hand on his shoulder and you started dancing. Fortunately, you were thought waltz as part of joining the club. It is necessary for the actors to know the basics of singing and dancing, especially ballroom.

Beomgyu and you danced, oblivious of the audience, as if you were the only ones in the auditorium. You danced and twirled around the stage forgetting that you were still onstage, you looked at each other with adoration and love; which are the two things you can't say to each other. Everyone went off-script as they realized that you are lost in each other's eyes and there is no way the play is going to finish by itself. The president started to narrate and the technical team lowered the volume of the music. You heard Jia's voice and you realized that you and Beomgyu were dancing for too long. You are both quick to pick up what is happening and continued to dance for a little while before stopping on the middle of the stage, still holding each other, exactly just as Jia finished narrating.

Beomgyu smiled at you, his eyes twinkling with happiness, "The moon is beautiful, isn't it?"

You are baffled, to say at least. You are literally grinning from ear to ear. "I can die happy."

You heard the audience cheer and applaud. The lights on the stage turned off and everyone gathered for the curtain call.

After the play, you and Beomgyu couldn't even look at each other and kept distance. You can't believe that you just confessed on stage, and everyone in the club knows that it is not part of the script. They cooed as soon as you entered backstage. They all gave you knowing looks; you were annoyed and embarrassed at the same time, especially Yeonjun, he kept on teasing you. The officers asked for a group photo with the different teams, the actors and the last few photos including all the members of the theatre club. The professors entered the backstage to congratulate everyone for the successful play.

The play is far the most successful one and for the theatre club's record, you beat the most successful play, which was the first ever play that you participated as the lead role. It started trending on the university's page within minutes just after the performance.

"Hey Y/N, don't think I am just teasing you because of the play and how you went off-script. Did you know that because of you two, we all went off-script too! Also, don't think that I didn't know your crush on Beomgyu. You literally avoided him everytime, I just don't know why everyone doesn't notice it. Since Beomgyu joined the club, you started working backstage which is very sudden." Yeonjun flashed you a smirk. You heave a heavy sigh, defeated, "Yeah, you're right. I like Beomgyu that's why." You admitted, there's no way Yeonjun would let you live either.

"Yes! I knew it!" Yeonjun laughed loudly attracting everyone's attention. You smacked his arm lightly, telling him to stop.

From the other side of the room, Beomgyu has been staring at you two, he is annoyed at himself, for not being able to bring himself to talk to you. You looked at his direction causing you both to blush and quickly averted your gaze at the same time. Yeonjun noticed it and smiled to himself.

"Y/N and Beomgyu sitting on the tree-" Yeonjun started to sing in a childlike voice which annoyed you and made you blush even more. You covered his mouth with your hand and apologized, "Ah, please forgive this annoying old man. Please don't pay attention to him, he doesn't know what he's saying."

You gave the guy beside you a glare. "By the way, we have an after-party tonight at 10! See you everyone!" Everyone cheered on Jia's announcement. She shoot a wink at your direction and you are thankful for Jia's save. You all continued packing up and returned the things to the theatre club room.

The after party is held on Jia's house, just like the usual. Jia's house is big enough to handle a big club like yours. Everyone is having a blast while you, still cannot get over on what you did at the end of the play, is sitting alone at the kitchen eating your pizza. You sighed and shook your head recalling your confession. You were so absorbed in yourself that you didn't notice the footsteps coming from the living room.

"Y/N?" A gentle voice came from behind you. You looked to see who it was and immediately regret your decision. "Oh, Beomgyu. Hi." You started fidgeting and you became uneasy, there is no way you can look at his face after what happened. "I wanted to talk to you..." His voice is shaky and almost inaudible, you can feel that he is nervous. "About what?" You finally locked your eyes with him. "About the thing I said earlier."

Beomgyu is nervous, his hand is shaking and he tries to hide it from you. Silence fall upon as he mustered up all the courage and spoke confidently, "I mean it and I like you."

"Oh, uhm, I was actually- I like you too." You mumbled quietly but enough for him to hear. After hearing those, his confidence became overflowing and he feels proud of himself, taking steps to close the distance between the two of you, "I figured out you do too, based on your response at the end of the play."

"Well, uhm, I-" You stuttered and couldn't bring yourself to create a sentence, Beomgyu thought you looked cute in a flustered state. "I'm sorry, it's just I didn't know how I'm going to face you after the kiss..." You spoke, words getting softer and softer each time. "Oh, was it your first time?" Beomgyu had a smug look on his face as he put emphasis on ‘first time’, "Uhm, yeah..."

"Don't worry, it's mine too." He grinned at you, he looked so adorable and handsome especially up close.

"I have one more thing to ask you."

"Go ahead."

"Will you be my star?"

[jinmindeulle]

crowned ∣ jwy (4)

anyone but you

word count: 2.7k

genre: royalty au, prince!wooyoung x dressmaker!reader ∣ angst, fluff

warnings: a lot of minor swearing

a/n: if you want to be in the tag list so that you don’t miss the updates, just comment down below and i’ll happily add you! ♥

bring your tissues once again :(

Three weeks go by, and I never come across Wooyoung. Not once.

The first two, I kept myself busy inside the sewing room, with both of the dresses that the Queen had requested, a tuxedo for the King, and the wedding suit for the love of my life, who happens to be marrying someone that is not me.

San kept me company most of the time, trying to lift the mood every time he saw sad eyes and frowns on my face, or sensed that I was about to cry as I got started with the wedding gowns. I tried not to think much of it, but it was clearly impossible.

When the time came for me to choose the wool and cashmere for Wooyoung’s suit, I had the breakdown I was expecting to happen ever since that day. I was lucky to have San with me at the fabric shop, keeping me away from the curious glances from the shopkeepers and making sure I was breathing normally again. At the end, he just bought the fabrics for me and held my hand until we reached the palace gates.

Having San by my side was a blessing. He never failed to make a smile appear on my face throughout the whole wedding suit process. He hugged me tight, squeezing the life out of me when I gave it the last stitch, and whispered in my ear that he was really proud of me.

So now, having finished those and with just a couple of simple dresses to create for some of the royal maids, I had more time available to wander around the palace by myself, trying to figure out my next move.

The breakdowns came to an end the day I stored away the wedding suit. I chose that moment to be the closure that I needed, letting the last tears flow down my cheeks.

But no more, y/n.

I reach the kitchen, offering myself to give some help after realizing that the maids are busier than ever, going in and out, running here and there, cutting, mixing and boiling what seemed like a hundred meals at the same time.

“Have any of you seen my son?” I turn around, and with wide eyes, I bow at the presence in front of me.

The Queen inside the kitchen was a rare sight to see.

The half dozen women behind me chant a ‘No, your Majesty’ that seems to have been meticulously rehearsed. “What about you, miss y/n? You’re a friend of his.” She smiles softly, painfully reminding me of Wooyoung’s tender smile.

“Uhm…” I gulp, taking my eyes off of her to stare at the wooden floor. “I… I’ve been busy in the sewing room so I haven’t seen him in a while” I mutter.

She sighs “I’ll go see if San has. Tonight’s the engagement party and I can’t find him anywhere. Well, if you happen to bump into him, please let him know I’m looking for him. Thank you, ladies.” And with that, she leaves.

Just when I thought that everything was getting better for my mental health.

“I’m… I’m heading back to my sewing room, girls. Just in case… you need me.”

“Go, y/n. It’s okay, we can handle the kitchen by ourselves.”

I simply nod without looking up, and slowly go back to my work place.

I enter, and with the same pace, I go to what are labelled as Wooyoung’s drawers. I open the third one, revealing a perfectly folded and ironed Prussian blue suit. Without second thoughts, I take it out and put it on my desk. Right after, I open his wardrobe doors, looking for a black turtle neck shirt. I neatly fold it and place it over the suit. With this, he won’t need me.

It takes me a while to find matching shoes and a belt, but once I have them with me, I take a look at the clock hanging on my wall. Five thirty-nine p.m. Just in time.

I quickly make my way out, going down the hall and taking the paths that lead me to my destination. When I reach that wooden door, I sigh heavily, and go inside.

I take in my surroundings, making sure that he’s not here before he’s supposed to. All clear.

Carefully laying the outfit on his bed, I run away from there without looking back.

It’s been two hours since I’ve started this book and I find myself unable to go further than page three. I read the sentences but I don’t understand their meaning, because in the enormous garden that is right by my chamber’s window, an engagement party is being carried out.

I should be there, actually. Every person that works for the crown was invited, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I asked San to inform that I was ill, and that I was not going to able to make it.

When it was time for San to go to the party, he kissed the back of my hand and urged me to wait for him, because he wanted to come by and check up on me before going to bed. I nodded as a response, and threw myself into the middle of my bed, flat on my stomach.

Luckily, my windows draw out the noise, so I am barely able to distinguish the fancy orchestra playing and the light chatter of the guests.

I take my eyes off of the sentence that I’ve been reading for the last ten minutes and I sigh, annoyed at me and my foolish heart for falling for a man that I knew since the beginning was untouchable.

I throw that stupid book away from me, sitting down against the head of my bed. Closing my eyes, I try to think of something that can keep me busy the three hours left that I need to stay awake.

As I’m about to head out of the room so I can quickly go to the kitchen for food, I hear the music stop, the voice of the Queen resonating everywhere.

“I am so happy to be gathered here. Tonight, one of the most special nights…”

My mind goes blank, and I just stay still. Right in front of me, through the damned window, I can see his face. His defeated, shattered expression making my heart rate immediately stop. His eyes are glued to the dinner table sitting in front of him, and I gasp, knowing what’s about to come.

You promised that you would never cry again for him, y/n.

Well, fuck it.

As if my body was in a sort of trance, I slowly make my way to the window, touching the cold hard material with one of my hands.

Right by his side, a gorgeous young lady engulfed in a silk white dress, is grinning like she’s won the lottery, listening attentively to what her future mother-in-law has to say. The truth is I can’t hear her seemingly deep and emotional message, because my mind can only take Wooyoung’s sorrowed face.

His eyes leave the banquet, taking a look around the garden, as if he’s searching for something (or rather, someone) in the crowd that surrounds him and his soon-to-be fiancé. Suddenly, his dark orbs go wide, and the light that they seemed to have lost makes its way back where it belongs.

Right, he’s caught me staring at him through my own window.

I quickly take five steps back, trying to disappear from his sight as soon as possible.

Shit.

Earth, swallow me, please.

I keep going backwards, so at one point I just bump into my bed and lay there, too astonished with my stupidity to move an inch.

San left.

After the engagement party came to an end, he showed up in my chamber. According to what he told me when I met him for breakfast the following morning, I was soundly asleep, all spread and hugging my favorite pillow. He didn’t know that I’d seen Wooyoung, but I thought that the best option was to stay quiet about it.

We chatted about my future plans and his intentions of helping me get over him in any way possible, even proposing the idea of staying with him from the time being. However, with the softest smile that I could master, I nicely rejected San’s offer. I had to take into consideration the fact that he still was Wooyoung’s best friend and in one way or the other, I would keep myself attached to him. He ended our conversation by adding that he had to go back to his land for some time, because, after all, he had work to do before the great day.

I hugged him as tightly as I could, wishing him the best and thanking him for everything that he had done, was doing and would keep on doing with the mere intention of just pulling me out of the hole.

So then, all by myself, I did not do much. When I felt like it, I went out of the palace with some of the maids and helped them get the enormous quantity of kitchen items, ingredients and decorations that they needed for that day. I took long walks along the lake at sundown, sometimes taking my book with me and reading a few paragraphs before my mind wandered somewhere else. Or rather, with someone else.

I finished the maid’s dresses within one week, so the only work that I had left was patching up the royal staff uniforms, with which I took my time, because I had a whole month left before resigning.

However, time flew by.

Without me even knowing, a month and a half went by with me and Wooyoung crossing paths not even once.

All of my stuff was already packed, waiting for San to come for it after the wedding. I didn’t want to give explanations to everyone in the palace, so I just threw the essentials inside a bag and hoped for them to be enough until San could pick up the rest for me.

 The morning of the wedding day, everyone was ecstatic. The busiest I had ever seen them, but ecstatic anyways. Maids running everywhere, wedding planners shouting and screaming instructions at anyone that crossed paths with them, guards making sure that no stranger entered the confinements of the palace, and the braid’s dressmakers going in and out of the lady’s chamber with cold sweat running down their faces.

I, nonetheless, had taken care of the gowns a whole week before the event. I took them with me to the King and Queen’s dressing room, smiling at their content expressions and bowing in gratitude.

⤷ A week ago

“I also wanted to bring you the Prince’s wedding suit.”

The Queen looked at me with a quizzical expression, giving away her dress to her lady-in-waiting for her to put it aside. “He actually requested you to be there and help him get ready. You know about his unwillingness to learn how to tie his ties.”

Right. Damn you, Wooyoung.

“Oh, yeah. Okay, then. I’ll just take it back with me. Good evening, your Majesties.” And with a last bow, I abandoned the room. “You just had to do that, right Jung Wooyoung? Fuck.” I mutter, going back to the sewing room.

Present time ⤶

I should’ve known that after what happened at the engagement party, even if it was as insignificant as staring into each other’s eyes for three seconds, getting away from him wouldn’t be that easy.

So now, pacing in front of Wooyoung’s chamber’s door, I tell myself that it isn’t a big deal.

Just go inside, give him the suit, tie his tie and leave. Easy.

Ha, right.

Taking at least five deep breaths, I shut my eyes tight and slowly knock on his door. I take a look at the suit in my hands, cursing the stupid tie that rests above it. I hate you so much, I want to yell at it.

But as I’m about to actually do it, the door flies open and a strong arm wraps around my wrist, shoving me inside of the room. The hatch is closed as fast as it was opened.

“Stop fucking avoiding me”

Oh? He dares to accuse me of avoiding him after having done the same? And he curses at me in the meantime?

I stare at him in disbelief, a shocked expression taking over my face. “Don’t pretend like you actually didn’t do it too.”

“Can we please talk?” his angry, accusatory tone suddenly changes for a more saddened, desperate one. “San told me you’re resigning.”

“We don’t have anything to talk about, Wooyoung. We have already said and done things that hurt each other, so I think that we are better off this way.” I quietly answer, giving him his outfit. “I’m here just so I can tie your tie for you.”

“Right.” He whispers, staring at the pieces of clothes that I placed in his arms. He keeps on rumbling, but his voice is so low and broken that I cannot make a word out. Without looking back, he goes behind his folding screen and starts changing into his wedding suit.

I feel tears picking my eyes and a lump on my throat slowly growing. You can do this, y/n. You just have to do one last thing and then you are free.

Free of what?

The discussion keeps going on my head, and I just let it be. I’ll never come to terms with myself if I don’t allow my mind to come up with nonsensical questions that hardly ever have an answer.

The quiet shuffle wakes me up from my daydream, and I know it’s time. I take the tie away from his hands, trying not to make physical contact whatsoever.

I breathe in and out while hanging the fabric of his neck, my eyes never leaving it. I take my time so that it can be perfectly done and no second tries are needed. I complete the knot by tightening it and drawing it up snugly to his collar, my hand lingering there for a few seconds before letting go.

“There you go” I mutter.

Just when I thought that I had made it, I make the mistake of my life.

My eyes land on his own, and damn it.

His dark orbs are nothing but glassy, defeated, hopeless. His cheeks are flooded with what seem like a million tears. His lips are trembling, threatening to let out a pained sob in any minute.

“I love you, y/n” his voice is soft, broken, pleading, shattering everything inside me. The sorrow and grief that had been raging in me for almost two months finally gets me, and I break down in front of him.

“I’m so sorry, Woo.” I whimper, as I feel his hands take the sides of my face. “I’m so sorry”

He takes a step closer, no more space between our bodies. His eyes are fixed on mine, their visible pain affecting me ten times harder than expected. I let out a choppy sigh, and with it, more tears.

“I love you, y/n” he repeats. “And I’ll never love anyone but you.”

I want to answer him the exact same, but he never lets me.

His soft, plump lips make contact with mine and all I can bring myself to do is lean in closer. His touch is desperate, hot and heavy, like he’s trying to take in every single part of me. Wooyoung’s hands leave my face but quickly make their way towards my waist, tightening his grip around me to shove me even closer, as if that was possible. My arms go around his neck instinctively, letting him take control over my lips.

We slowly, unwillingly, break apart gasping for air. Our tears keep flooding, but small smiles are taking over our swollen lips.

“What am I supposed to do without you?”

I shake my head ‘no’, leaning in for the last kiss that we’d ever share together. This time, is me who takes control, bringing him closer with my hands on his soft wet cheeks. “I love you so much.” I mutter against his lips, quickly letting go of him and making my way out.

I dare to look back once more, just to find him breaking down all over again.

“I’m sorry, Wooyoung.”

And with that, I leave the love of my life’s chamber.

part five: whatever it takes →

Here’s the fourth part of crowned ♥ I know this hurt even worse, but it’s getting better soon!

If you are reading this, thank you so much for being here, it means a lot to me ♥ Leave your comments, suggestions and ideas on the comments below!

Happy reading!

⇢ jinmindeulle

[lia-jones]

Growing Stronger - Chapter Thirty-Six - The Father of the Bride

They say one of the hardest days in a man’s life is the one when he gives his daughter away to another man. And Jeremy was travelling into that dark night alone, without any one to advise him. His father never had the same experience; Jeremy’s sister never got married. Not that his father would care or even be present should his sister get married. In fact, Jeremy was sure his father was the reason his sister never married in the first place.

Fortunately, that wasn’t his daughter’s case. She had had the example of a happy family, one that he had raised with love and understanding, hoping to break the cycle of abandonment. Although her experience before Victor was enough to send anyone on a one-way trip to celibacy, that wasn’t his Andrea. She was strong, resilient, and had within her a joy of life many spend a lifetime trying to obtain. She was insightful and hopeful, and that gave her the truly rare ability to see beauty in everything. Apparently, such had been the case with Victor. Where everyone else saw coldness, she saw light.

Although Jeremy and Victor were very different men with very different backgrounds, he could see so much of him in that remarkable young man it was almost funny. Yet, he could never exactly figure what it was that he found so similar. The realization dawned on him at the rehearsal dinner, when he saw Gregory interact with his son.

A deadbeat dad is a deadbeat dad, no matter the social status. That night, he had seen in Gregory’s eyes the same contempt he saw in his own father’s, and in Victor’s eyes the exact same blend of hurt and defiance that he was sure oftentimes he had in his own. And in that moment, Jeremy was absolutely certain that Victor was the best husband Andrea could find: a man who had experienced rejection and pain, but was driven enough to create a life full of love and understanding for himself and the love of his life.

Jeremy sighed and rolled out of bed. This was way too much contemplation before coffee. Plus, he hated to wake up without Mariana, and he could really use her that morning. She would surely and quickly put an end to his useless internal monologue, either offering kind words or simply telling him to get his lazy ass out of bed.

Well, his lazy ass was out of bed. Now what?

What does the father of the bride do?

As he stepped into the cold shower, he pondered about what was expected of him that day. What the heck is the role of the father of the bride? In short, absolutely nothing. He comes forward with a check to pay for the wedding and takes a little stroll down the aisle. Since Victor was a multimillionaire, the stroll was all he had. Jeremy scoffed, accidentally getting a little bit of shampoo in his mouth, pairing with his bitter thoughts: a lifetime racking his brain on how to properly raise a girl and on the most important day of her life, all that was required from him was to be able to walk a straight line. Even a sobriety test could be more interesting.

Getting out of the shower, he noticed a new notification on his phone. A text from his wife.

Have you seen Andy?

To aggravate him even more, Mariana was at Andrea’s room, to help her put on the dress, dote on her, calm down any eventual wedding jitters, leaving him to his own devices. Him, he had no job. Not only was he losing his daughter that day, he had to feel like a useless bum too.

His stomach growled. Maybe it was just hunger putting him in a bad mood. Time to put on some clothes, look for Andrea, and get some grub.

He had just shut his bedroom door when he heard a loud thump at the end of the hall.

“Crap! Crap, crap, crap, crap, crap, crap!” Andrea fumbled to get herself off the ground, her cheeks red as tomatoes.

He watched her awkwardly walk down the hall, a knowing smirk on his face. The bride’s room wasn’t that way, the groom’s was.

“Woke up early to walk the dog?” He jested, knowing this would make her blush even more.

“Sorry, Dad, no time to talk!” She quickened her step, going for the stairs.

“I was going to say don’t keep him waiting, but it looks like you didn’t!” He joked again, only to be ignored. He didn’t care, though, laughing at his own joke.

Ok, that seemed to be taken care of. At least both bride and groom would be relaxed before the ceremony. Well, as much as they could be. It was time for breakfast.

It was clear to Jeremy that Terry and Mina loved Victor like he was their own child. He was aware that all the preparations depended on Victor’s money and the wedding planner’s taste, but there was an additional and special care in everything Mina and Terry did for him, one that wedding planners can’t replicate, one that is only given to a son. This would remain unnoticed by a lot of people, but to a parent, this special attention was plain to see.

“Good morning.” He announced himself, as he entered the dining room.

“Good morning, Mr. Jones.” Mina greeted him from the kitchen, as she dispatched two trays of food, probably for the happy couple. “I will be right there with you.”

Soon enough, she arrived with a plate filled with bacon, eggs and pancakes, placing it on the table, in front of him.

“Have all the others had breakfast yet?” He asked, seeing himself alone with Mina in the dining room.

“Yes, everybody is already busy with their tasks, they came to eat really early.” Mina was about to leave when Jeremy stopped her.

“Care to sit with me for a quick coffee? I don’t like eating alone.” He asked, feeling weird about having a meal on his own.

“Your granddaughter is so beautiful.” Mina commented, sitting next to him. “So playful and always smiling! Victor loves her, I have never seen him so fascinated with a  child before.”

“Yeah, that one has him wrapped around her little finger…” Jeremy chuckled. “All of us, really.”

“It’s just so sad that Andrea…” Mina trailed off, a concerned look on her face.

“It is.” Jeremy frowned, remembering her pain during that dreadful year. “A farewell gift from that abusive piece of shit.” He cleared his throat. “Pardon my English.”

“No, those words are appropriate.” Mina supported him, almost as enraged as he was, making it clear she cared deeply about his daughter. “It just infuriates me to see these two kids, with such big hearts, go through so much. My Victor acts tough, but in the end, he is still that small little boy that just wants a little affection. At least they found each other. Andrea seems to love him very much.”

“Oh yes, she does.” Jeremy nodded. “That one will love on him until she’s blue in the face.”

“My heart breaks for him today, to tell you the truth.” Mina was misty-eyed, her voice somewhat strained. “It’s the most important day of his life and his father can’t be supportive. And surely he must be hurting, thinking of how his mother didn’t live to witness his special day. It’s like he is being abandoned all over again.”

Jeremy’s thoughts drifted back to his own wedding, in Portugal, away from his friends and family. There was something that cheered him up on that day though: a postcard from his aunt, with some money and his mother’s ring and the words You got this, kiddo. Be happy .

Jeremy smiled confidently at Mina.

“He has someone. He has a mother right here. The one that loved him and nurtured him for years. And that’s the one he needs.”

Well fed and in a much better mood, Jeremy marched to his bedroom. He was wrong, he had a job after all: to be a comforting voice. That was usually Mariana’s job, but she was so busy tending to their daughter and the other bridesmaids that she wouldn’t have the time to work her magic. That day, such a daunting and important task seemed to fall on him. He hoped some of his wife’s wisdom had rubbed off on him.

He took out his wedding suit and put it on, checking himself in the mirror. He was a far cry from the boy he was thirty five years ago, although one thing remained: the look of happiness in his eyes. He was looking for his cuff links when his wife stormed into the room, already wearing her own formal dress, her hair and makeup perfectly done, yet a livid look on her face.

“Where were you? I have been calling you!” She reprimanded him.

“Oh shoot, the sound was very low, I didn’t hear it.” He grimaced, looking at his phone. “Why? What happened?”

“ Filho da puta, arrogante de merda! ” She swore in Portuguese, which was rare for her. Something very wrong was going on. “Gregory is not coming to the wedding. Apparently, his reputation is more important than his son. And your daughter is on the verge of a panic attack, because that producer had the fucking brilliant idea of telling her about the dozens of reporters writing articles about her wedding!” She held her husband’s face, looking him in the eyes with determination. “Our kids need us, Jer. Did you bring that special brandy?”

“To open with Victor after lunch, yes. Why?”

“Forget lunch. He needs it now.” She shook her head with sadness, probably name-calling Gregory in her mind. “Jer, he needs a father.”

Jeremy didn’t need to be told twice. Bottle of brandy in hand, he ran to Victor’s room. He suddenly felt as infuriated as his wife, picturing himself punching Greg square in the jaw for being such a prick, both for  Andy and Victor. Not even on his son’s most special day, he couldn’t avoid a scene? He had to let his son down once again?

He found Joshua pacing nervously outside.

“Oh, thank God!” His son sighed in relief. “I honestly don’t know what to do! His old man was here, they had a huge fight. I had to grab Victor, he was on the verge of punching his father. Fuck, the things he was saying about Andy, I felt like punching him too, but then I remembered what mom said.” Joshua took a deep breath to calm himself down. “After that, he wouldn’t touch his breakfast, Goldman had to threaten to call Andy if he didn’t eat. He’s completely shut down, Dad. He’s barely talking, just sits there, lost in thought.” He looked at his father with angry eyes. “I honestly don’t know if he’s well enough to get married right now. He looks… broken.”

“Don’t worry, son.” Jeremy patted his son in the back. “I got this.”

Jeremy knocked on the door, and as soon as Goldman opened it, he signaled for the assistant to wait outside. He found Victor already in his wedding suit, sitting on the sofa, staring at the floor.

“You look tired, son.” Jeremy started, pretending not to know what was going on. “That’s what you get for sleeping with the bride before the wedding.” He joked, not getting a response. “Or wedding jitters kept you up?”

Victor suddenly looked up, his face expressionless. Jeremy could see the pain in his eyes, though.

“I’m fine.” He answered with a flat voice.

“Well, I have something that will make you feel more than fine.” Jeremy placed the bottle on the coffee table with a loud clunk. That definitely caught Victor’s attention.

“A Rémi Martin XO?”

“A wedding gift to calm your nerves.” Jeremy went to the food table. “Let me get two glasses.”

“Feel free to help yourself.” Victor slid the bottle further from him. “It’s too early for me to drink.”

“Son, you need this more than I do.” Jeremy poured some brandy into a glass, handing it to his son in law. “You may fool your friends out there, but you can’t fool me. Drink. It’ll help.”

He watched as Victor took a sip, letting the brandy sit in his mouth, swallowing after with a satisfied exhale.

“Magnificent.” Victor observed the brandy in his glass. “Are you sure you want me to have it?”

“Of all the people I know, you are the most worthy of it.” Jeremy chuckled. “Andrea or Joshua wouldn’t appreciate it correctly. I would be casting pearls to swine.”

After a brief moment of silence, both swirling the brandy in their glasses, Jeremy decided to jump in and address the matter at hand.

“How are you feeling, son?” He carefully observed Victor.

“I’m fine.” Victor answered, his voice hinting his frustration. “Why does everybody keep asking me that?”

“It’s a big day, after all. We tend to look back, make a quick review of where we’ve been, how far we have come. The people we miss.”

With a sigh, Victor put his glass down on the coffee table. But didn’t utter a word.

“How most things won’t change, no matter how hard we try.” Jeremy offered again, hinting at Victor’s relationship with his father.

Victor smirked bitterly, looking at him. Still, not a word.

“Mari and I were much younger when we got married, I was 25, she was 22. Her family didn’t accept our relationship, so we eloped in a city nearby and got married without anyone’s consent. I could see she was upset not having her family there. I was actually relieved to not have mine.”

His son in law looked at him, surprised. With a weak smile, Jeremy continued.

“As you may have already noticed, Mari and I never talked much about my family to my kids. To be honest, I don’t even know if they are dead or alive. My father was an evil man that left us for another woman. My mother was a weak-minded woman who could never stand up for herself or her children. The moment he left, I had to start working to feed our family, in a winery in Napa Valley. That was how I became an oenologist, my boss helped me in every way he could to give me a steady path.”

Jeremy kept his eyes on the table, unwilling to let past emotions take hold of him.

“The day I got married was the happiest and the hardest in my life. As I looked at the woman by my side, there was a feeling of dread inside of me. I felt alone, unprepared, just a kid. I had no real experience of what a healthy marriage was. My father was an awful husband and a lousy father, how could I be any good at it? I was afraid to repeat his mistakes.”

“Yet, you didn’t.” Victor concluded by himself.

“No, I didn’t.” Jeremy shook his head, feeling proud of himself. “All it took was a look at the woman I loved, standing by my side, smiling at me, and I knew I wasn’t alone. When you stand at that aisle, and you see Andy walk towards you, mark my words, you’ll feel invincible. Nothing else will matter. You’ll know that you love her with all your heart, and even feeling unprepared, there is nothing you wouldn’t do for her.”

“There isn’t.” Victor looked Jeremy in the eyes, his expression assertive. Jeremy knew that look too, it was the one he had on his wedding day.

“I know.” He assured the young man. “That life you leave behind will seem like a mirage when you lead the one you chose for yourself. Don’t let it weigh on you now. You’re almost there.”

“Thank you.” Victor said in a low voice, seemingly touched by the story.

“And I need to see about a bride!” Jeremy downed the rest of his brandy, making a face. “On second thought, this brandy might not have been such a good idea. Maybe don’t drink it all.”

Not giving another word to the men waiting outside, he strode to his daughter’s room, feeling very good about himself. His job here was done. Time to see how beautiful Andrea looked.

She was breathtaking in that dress. Jeremy couldn’t care less about dresses, but even he had to notice the beautiful work in the halter neckline, lined with beautiful stones and covered with lace. It was like nothing he had seen before, a true work of art. Becoming a Lee sure had its advantages.

Not that Andrea cared though. She was still somewhat anxious with all the media outside, all the girls surrounding her, trying to reassure her.

“No way I’m going out there! We’ll have to get married inside.” Andrea concluded, panicked.

“It will be ok, you’ll do fine.” Mariana stroke her back, comforting her.

“No, it won’t! Everyone’s eyes will be on me, I’m going to embarrass Victor!”

“You are not, Andy. It’s just a short walk to the carriage, and then to the aisle. We’ll be with you every step of the way, you’ll do fine.” Diane chimed in.

“And I have instructed the photographers to be as discreet as possible, you won’t even notice them, I promise.” The short producer offered. But Andy wasn’t listening anymore, her mind reeling with fear.

“Oh my God, I can feel myself sweat, I’m going to have pit stains in my dress.” She fumbled with the skirt of her dress. “And it’s too long for me to walk anyway, so I’m surely going to trip on it. I’m going to faceplant on the floor, and every magazine will have a picture of it to remember it.”

“No, you won’t. I will be holding your arm the entire time, remember? Just like I held you when you were learning to walk.” Jeremy spoke up, stealing Andrea’s attention.

“Dad?” She looked up, seeking his support. The same look she had in her eyes like when she was just a child, and still needed him. Jeremy felt his heart swell with joy.

“Remember, Mari?” He spoke to his wife, as he took his daughter’s hand. “This one could talk even before she could walk. And she was so scared of falling.”

“You would only stand and walk if we held your hand.” Mariana continued to talk. “Your father would hold your hand, keeping you straight, while you took your first steps. It took a while to convince you that you were safe, but eventually you walked on your own.”

Andrea smiled, and Jeremy could almost see her, so little, blonde curls jumping up and down as she tried to steady herself.

“You know, as you and Josh grew up, I always thought you’d be the one that needed protection the most. Especially after a few years. Josh was a lively kid, full of spunk and surrounded by friends, while you spent your days pressing the keys of that piano, by yourself. You seemed so fragile and lonely to me, and oftentimes I wondered if you had a hard time making friends, since Josh was the only one you'd play with. But then you had your first recital.”

“I remember that day. I was so nervous.” Andrea recalled, seemingly more relaxed. Mariana left the room with the bridesmaids, probably wanting to give them a moment.

“I remember you walking to that stage, so small, and playing masterfully, getting a look of awe from everyone. That’s when it hit me. What I was seeing wasn’t a small girl isolating herself, but instead someone who, at a very tender age, was already working tirelessly to achieve a goal. You weren’t hiding from the world. You were preparing yourself to face it.”

“Dad…” His daughter was misty-eyed, smiling at him.

“For some years, my heart relaxed.” Jeremy continued. “I consistently saw you work towards your goals, and in the meantime you made friends, a tight circle. No one could ever make you give up what you wanted. Until that scumbag.” He paused, relaxing his fists, that he had unwillingly clenched while he spoke. “There is no greater pain than to helplessly watch your child fade away, lose her spark. But once again, you proved me wrong. You got to your feet, you overcame your trauma and healed from the abuse. You got your doctorate, an outstanding career, a good man to start a life with. You are one of the strongest people I’ve ever known, stronger than me. I have no words to describe how proud I am to be your father.”

“I’m not stronger than you.” Andrea blinked a few happy tears away. “I am strong because of you. Because you always saw worth in everything I did. Because you always believed in me.”

“Hurry up, guys.” Mariana peeked into the room from the door. “The groom is ready. It’s time.”

“Well, I believe some photographers won’t stop you now.” He stood up, taking Andrea’s hand. “Let’s go. There’s a nervous young man anxiously waiting for you.”

“Victor is nervous?” She smiled at him, raising her eyebrows in surprise.

“Oh yes. I had to get him slightly drunk.” Jeremy chuckled at the scolding look in his daughter’s expression. “Don’t worry, he’s sober enough.”

He left the mansion proudly, Andy by his side, holding his arm tight. There were sounds of flashes, of pictures being taken, but she kept her eyes on him, confidently, like she did so many years ago. They climbed into the carriage that would take them to the wedding venue, and she looked serene, sure of herself, happy. The same expression she had when facing so many trials in her life. She was ready.

As he walked down the aisle with his precious daughter, Jeremy’s chest felt warmer with a sudden realization: he wasn’t giving away his daughter, because she wasn’t his to give in the first place. She had always belonged to herself, following her own path, focusing on her own dreams, making her own choices. Jeremy was simply privileged to hold her hand as she bravely took her first steps towards a brilliant future.

[calmlftv]

burlesque!sos - chapters 5 & 6

description: you break some hearts, celebrate your birthday, and cycle through the five stage of grief in a short period of time; a little bit of angst & forgiveness sprinkled in. 

word count: 4.6k (roughly)

warnings: lil bit of angst, one verbal altercation

w/n: she’s back! we have one last chapter of this before the end, and my first ever au will be complete! thank u all for joining me on this little journey, i can’t wait for y’all to read the ending 💕

taglist: @spicycal​ @castaway-cashton​ @irwinkitten​ @n-ctarinenga​ @thesubtweeter​ @ashisonthefloor​ @ashtonsos​ @loveroflrh​ @boxofteenageideas​

due to how many words are in these parts, i’ll be putting the entire thing under the read more! 

find all of the previous chapters here!

Chapter 5 

Another two weeks went by before you were allowed to perform again, your injury healing beautifully and Kay checking in periodically to make sure you were doing your stretches. Your first day back at rehearsal was met with a celebration, Luke and Georgia getting together to surprise you with a welcome back party. Everybody had chipped in for a cake, seemingly the entire crew there as they celebrated your return. Much to your surprise Calum also showed up, sneaking in behind you and surprising you for your first day back. 

For your first performance back Cal sat at the bar, watching and cheering you on while you performed; the butterflies came back every time you caught his eyes from the stage, his smile never leaving while you were up there. 

After another great routine you went backstage, taking your time while another group went on stage for a number you weren’t in. Bright colors covering your vanity caught your attention, your head turning as you beamed. A beautiful vase of flowers sat at your vanity, vivid colors almost blinding you as your fingers plucked the note from the tall stand. 

Happy to see you back, Wildflower. The note tugged at your heart, the familiar nickname warming your chest. Come find me after the show.

Cal’s note to you made you smile, tucking it in the corner of your mirror before you carried your flowers back to your room. 

After the show you were packing up your bag, turning off the lights to your vanity and turning to head to your room to change when you heard someone clear their throat behind you. 

You turned and smiled as your eyes took in Michael, his smile returned and his hands in his pockets. 

“Hey Mikey,” you greeted cheerily. The adrenaline from performing was still rushing through your veins, making you a bit too cheery. 

“Hey yourself,” he teased, taking a small step towards you. “You looked amazing up there tonight.” 

You smiled, your eyes moving to the ground as you did. “You’re too kind,” you joked, taking a joking bow as Michael chuckled. When you straightened he was quite a bit closer to you, his eyes carefully taking you in as you froze in place. 

“I, uh,” he started, clearing his throat again. “I wanted to talk to you...about what we did a few weeks ago…”

Your brows furrowed in confusion. “What about it? I thought we talked about it…”

Michael sighed, reaching up a hand to run it through his hair. “Yeah, we did,” he sighed again, looking at the ground as his shoes nudged around a rogue pearl. “I just...I’ve been doing some thinking.” 

Uh-oh.

Michael groaned a bit as he refused to meet your eyes. “I just-“ he started, stopping before forcing himself to continue. “I’ve been doing some thinking and I realized that I don’t want it to be a one time thing.” 

You paused, leaning to the side against your vanity as he continued. 

“You are...beautiful, Rory. Inside and out,” he spoke, sincerity dripping from his words. “I know us having sex didn’t mean anything to you, and I’m probably stepping way out of line, but I just can’t live with myself if I don’t try.” He took a deep breath, finally meeting your eyes. “Will you go out to dinner with me?” 

The question took you by surprise, your eyebrows raising as you looked at Michael. You chewed the inside of your cheek, eyes dropping to the ground. No words needed to be exchanged as you stated silent, Michael sighing as he took one more step towards you. He closed the gap between you, his fingers brushing your hips. 

“Can I just-“ he stopped, your eyes meeting his. “One more kiss. Please.” 

You paused before you nodded, your body moving before you really gave it any thought. Michael’s hands rested on your hips, tugging you close as his head dipped to meet yours. His lips were soft and gentle, your hands moving to rest on his chest as you pressed your lips together. His body pressed against yours as the two of you kissed, his hands holding you fast until you broke apart. 

He was blushing, his lips moving to your forehead before he stepped back and released you. He smiled, the edges of it coated in sadness as he started to turn away. 

You stood on your own, lips tingling as you got lost in your thoughts. A thud behind you broke you out of your stupor, turning again and seeing Calum standing there. A small cardboard box was on the floor, toppled over to reveal the single cupcake Calum had gotten for you. Your heart broke at the look on his face, his attire nicer than it normally was when he hung out with you as his eyes gave away his heartbreak. 

“Cal-“ you started, taking a step forward. You stopped when he stepped back. 

“S-Sorry, I should uh,” he stammered, his eyes becoming a bit glassy as tears welled up in them. “I should go. Sorry.” 

He turned and hurried out, your feet carrying yourself after him until you realized it was futile. You stopped at the box on the ground, tears welling up in your eyes as you stared in the direction Calum had disappeared in. You sniffled and let out a sob as you looked at the mess on the ground, kneeling down to clean it up while you cried over your missed chance with the guy of your dreams. 

Suddenly a hand appeared on your shoulder, your eyes meeting a beautiful pair of blues when your head turned. 

“Luke?” You said, surprised as you sniffled and quickly worked to wipe away your tears. “I thought you left, what are you still doing here?” 

Luke smiled, kneeling beside you and helping you pick up the mess. “Just had to talk to Sisi about something,” he answered, taking all of the mess in his hands and throwing it in the nearest trash can. He turned back to you and helped you stand, his hand taking yours and giving it a squeeze. “What’s wrong?”

You just looked at Luke and broke down again, the man wrapping his arms around you and pulling you in for a hug. He gently guided you back to your room when you calmed down, the man rubbing your back as you both stepped inside. 

Luke’s intensely innocent look shocked you as he sat in a chair, gesturing for you to lay on the couch beside him. “Tell me what’s going on, darlin’.”

You listened to his instructions and laid down, realizing how drained you were by everything that had gone down. You closed your eyes and explained everything to Luke, including all the dirty details of you and Michael and your feelings for Calum. He sat silently and listened, nodding and asking questions to clarify when he needed it. 

When you finished you sighed, the heel of your hands rubbing harshly at your eyes. Luke sat silently, the gears turning in his head as he watched you. You heard him stand and walk into your small kitchen, opening the fridge and pulling out the bottles of wine you kept in there. You sat up and gave him a look as he went through your cupboards, stopping when he found the wine glasses he wanted. 

His eyes met yours and he smiled, bringing his spoils to the coffee table and setting them all down. “I will give you advice,” he said, plopping down on the floor next to you. “But we are going to drink and watch bad movies until we fall asleep. In the morning I’ll give you advice, but tonight it’s about making you feel better. Deal?” 

You couldn’t help but smile at Luke, his lips reflecting the look as he squeezed your knee. 

Throughout the night the two of you drank, watching movie after movie and laughing until your stomachs hurt. Luke crashed on your couch, much too inebriated to be driving himself home, and you tucked yourself into bed, both of you still giggling as you fell asleep. 

Chapter 6 

Over the next few months you and Luke grew closer together, the two of you and Georgia forming a small group of people that quickly became your inner circle. The three would hide out in your room after rehearsals, just enjoying each other's company until Luke had to leave to get ready for work. You had filled them both in on your situation with Calum, both of them giving you advice and letting you word vomit on them.

You and Calum hadn’t spoken since the night he saw you kiss Michael; aside from some unanswered texts from you, it was radio silence, your only form of communication about Calum coming from Luke. Apparently he had gotten back with his ex - at least, that was Luke’s deduction from the numerous bangs and moans that would be coming from Cal’s room when he got home. Cal was elusive these days, either being locked in his room or away to work or wherever he went when he wasn’t home, seemingly trying to keep himself busy to avoid talking about his feelings with anyone; he would text Luke to make sure he was alright but then not respond to anything, not even reading the texts until he checked in again.

Michael and you were still friends, the two of you taking some time apart before reconnecting after you rejected him. He occasionally spent time with you, Luke, and Georgia, which was how you found out he and Crystal had gotten back together; they had sat down and had a long talk together, ultimately ending on a happy note for both of them. In fact, the three of you were the first people he sent the wedding date to, your group text blowing up with happiness for them finally about to get married. Jokes flew immediately after about Luke being the DJ, the humor a good distraction for your mind.

On the morning Luke bumped into Nia in his apartment he immediately went to the lounge, walking in just as rehearsal was wrapping up and pulling you aside. When he told you, you smiled, tears threatening to spill until he wrapped you in a hug, Georgia quickly joining the two of you. Your heart was broken, knowing that you had hurt Calum in such a way; and not only had you hurt him, but there was nothing you could do to fix it. That was slowly driving you insane, your own guilt, pain, and feelings for Calum all bottling together until you would explode. 

While you wallowed in your sadness behind the scenes, you hadn’t even noticed the days go by until a knock sounded at your door early in the morning. Groggily you got up, walking over and opening it to the sight of all the other dancers - including Crystal, Sierra, Luke, and Ashton - grinning and popping party poppers. 

“Happy Birthday!” They all cheered together, the confetti making you laugh as you were tackled in a group hug. Everybody crowded in, Ashton leaving your door open once everybody had managed to squeeze through the door. Excited chatter and bursts of giggles followed the gaggle, all of you just so happy to be together to celebrate you. 

Right as you were thinking of throwing everybody out Georgia cleared her throat. “So,” she started, everybody quieting down as she spoke. Excitement buzzed through the air. “For your birthday, we wanted to get you something really special. You’ve been such a wonderful addition to our family, Ro, and you know better than anyone that family is everything.” Confused, you nodded, the other girls all beaming. 

Georgia and Luke moved to either side of you, both of them helping you stand and linking their arms through yours as a very pregnant Daisy wrapped a blindfold around your eyes. You heard everybody shuffle out in front of you, Luke and Georgia giggling wildly as they lead you out of your room and through the backstage. You stopped on the stage, the clinking of Michael’s bottles in the back alerting you to where you were. 

“Okay, ready?” Georgia asked, a nod coming from you until the blindfold was removed to reveal your parents standing in front of you. 

Your heart exploded in your chest, your hands immediately lifting to cover a gasp that had escaped you. Your parents were teary eyed, the three of you moving towards each other until meeting in the middle in a big, sobbing mess. Around you everybody applauded, your shoulders shaking as you hugged your parents as tightly as your body would let you. 

Once you pulled away you sniffled, wiping at your eyes while wearing a big grin. “Oh my god,” you said, everybody laughing a bit. You turned towards everybody, shocked. “How did you all do this?!” 

Sierra chuckled lightly, Luke standing close by her side while Ashton stood on the other, eyes on his phone as he sent a text. “A little birdy let it slip that you were a little lonely,” she stated, Luke blushing and giving you a sheepish smile. “So, we all chipped in a little bit and flew them here for a couple days to hopefully cure that.”

You were speechless, the gesture just so kind as you looked around at the faces of your sisters. At that moment you were overwhelmed with your emotions, all them crashing over you individually until you couldn’t take it anymore. You were in a room full of people you loved and adored more than anything, a happy sigh escaping your lips as you tried to find the words to say. 

“Thank you,” you said simply, wiping at your eyes again. “Thank you guys so much. This means...so much more than you could know.”

Everybody applauded after your very short speech, your eyes landing back on your parents before grinning. 

“So, gonna stay for rehearsal?” 

** 

Calum was, by every standard, depressed. 

Seeing the girl he had a huge crush on kissing another man practically ripped his heart out, and seeing it happen on the night he was finally going to ask her out only made things worse. Her texts he left unanswered, locking himself away in his room and ignoring Luke’s attempts at reasoning with him; he had seemingly lost his chance with the girl of his absolute dreams, his newly mended heart just being broken again. 

He had practically sworn off of love after that, throwing caution to the wind and allowing himself to fall back into his old habits. When Nia called again he answered, inviting her over for sex and nothing more to make his days go by faster. It meant nothing to him anymore, the intimacy he really wanted to be having going to somebody else. He’d be lying, though, if he didn’t say he imagined Rory under him in place of Nia, hearing her moans and little noises as he took care of her instead. 

Cal avoided as much human contact as possible over the months, going to work before Luke woke up and making a beeline to his room when he would come home, only leaving when he heard Luke leave for work. He felt bad avoiding his best friend but he really didn’t want to listen to any reason, he just wanted to lose himself in a routine so he could avoid facing the complicated feelings he was burying inside his heart. 

One morning after multiple rounds with Nia, he rolled over, the familiar frame of his ex gone from the now cold sheets. He sighed, sitting up before he heard the voices outside his door, palms rubbing at his eyes as his ears eavesdropped.

“How’s he doing?” A deep voice asked, the sound muffled by the thickness of the door. No doubt it was Luke, Nia’s soft and higher voice filtering in after. 

“Fine, I guess,” she said, confusion lining her tone. “Why?” 

A sigh, probably from Luke. “It’s a misunderstanding, but he’s heartbroken over a girl at my work. He hasn’t talked to me since it happened…” 

Their voices tapered off, Calum groaning and throwing the sheets off his body before walking into the private bathroom he had. He roughly turned on the shower, the nozzle squeaking as the water poured out of the head. He closed the door and locked it, stepping in and letting the water fall down his naked body. 

Thoughts swirled around in his head, the water pressure against his skin tethering him to the ground as his mind floated upwards. The constant hurricane happening in his mind was temporarily soothed in the shower, the steam and hot water mingling all together to create a calming sensation in his troubled, scrambled mind. The water calmed his tense shoulders, both of them dropping slowly as he let the water hug him. He closed his eyes and rested his head against the wall, the cool tiles a big difference from the steam surrounding him. The peace he felt was welcoming and kind of scary, tears threatening to fill his eyes as he shoved them down to his stomach. Peaceful silence was all he wanted and now that he had it, it was far too loud. 

Quickly he washed up and got out of the shower, stepping out and wrapping a towel around his waist before he opened the door. Steam flowed out before he did, his bigger frame moving towards his closet as Nia’s smaller one sat in his bed, now fully clothed. 

“Hey,” she said, her voice a bit sharp. Cal winced but kept moving, turning on the light and looking through his clothes for something to wear. 

“Hey yourself,” he mumbled, pulling out a shirt and a hoodie and laying them on the bed. He kept moving around, digging through a drawer in his dresser until he felt the smack of a pillow against his back. Annoyed, he slowly turned around, a poker face on as he looked at Nia. 

“What?” He asked, crossing his arms over his broad chest. 

Nia’s eyes flashed annoyance at him, lips pulled down in a frown. “Who’s this other girl Luke told me about?” 

Calum groaned, shaking his head and cursing. “Leave it alone, Nia.” 

Nia stood quickly, throwing her hands up in frustration. “No, Calum, who’s this other girl? Is that why you suddenly answered my phone call and wanted to hook up?” 

Calum’s fingers twitched, the man turning back to his dresser and pulling out more clothes. He didn’t answer, instead tugging his towel off his body and pulling on boxers and a pair of jeans. 

“Calum!” Nia shouted, the man wincing at the noise. “Answer me!” 

“Yes!” He snapped, spinning around to look at his ex. “Yes, that’s why I wanted to hook up with you! Can you drop this now?”

“No! I’m not going to avoid this conversation to save your fucking feelings,” she yelled, her hands balled up into fists at her side. 

“I’m not asking you to save anything,” he snapped loudly, snatching the shirt from the bed and tugging it over his head. He started putting on socks and a pair of shoes as he sat on the edge of the bed. “Why do you care, anyway? We’re just fuck buddies.” 

Nia was silent at that, her rage rolling off of her in waves. “Is that what you think of me?” She asked, her voice low. Calum turned around to meet her eyes. “Do you seriously think of me like that?” 

“Yes, it is, because that’s what this is.” Cal’s hand gestured between the two of them as he spoke, his other pushing himself off the bed. 

Nia scoffed. “Good to know you think so lowly of me.” 

“Don’t you fucking dare,” Calum said harshly, turning around to face th woman again. The volume of his voice increased as he continued. “You’re the one that cheated on me, remember? And as you just heard from Luke, I just had my heart broken by a beautiful girl that I really, really liked, so if you wouldn’t mind leaving me alone-” 

“God, can you stop bringing up the fact that I cheated all the fucking time?!” Nia shouted, her voice matching Calum’s. “Stop making me feel like shit for something that happened one time.” 

“Then you stop making me feel like shit for not wanting a relationship when I so clearly can’t handle one right now!” Calum stomped to the door, flinging it open and letting it slam against the wall as he gestured for her to walk through it. “If you don’t like this, then here’s the fucking door. Block me on socials, delete my number, and get the fuck out of my life.” 

Nia was silent, absolutely furious as she stood in Calum’s bedroom. After a second of an intense staredown she finally stomped her way out of the apartment, a slam followed by a shattering sound marking her exit. 

Calum stood in his bedroom doorway, hands clenching into fists over and over as he calmed himself down. He was never the type for violence but this punched him pretty close to putting a hole in the wall; the emotions he had been carefully tip-toeing around bundling themselves together in angry wrapping before presenting themselves to him. 

Once calm again he walked out of his room, eyeing the apartment to find what broke in Nia’s angry wake. Stepping into the living area he found it, the new vase Luke had just bought lying on the floor in a million pieces. Calum groaned, pulling out his phone to call Luke and update him on the mess. 

Just as he was about to hit the call button a jingling by the door drew his attention, the door opening to reveal his blonde roommate stepping in. Luke paused when he noticed Calum, his eyes then traveling to the broken item. Cal could tell he was upset when he saw it, shoving his phone into his pocket before he started speaking. 

“Mate, I’m so sorry, Nia and I got in to it and she slammed the door on her way out, and I guess it was enough for it to fall over-” 

Luke smiled at Cal’s apology. “Brother it’s all good,” he said kindly, Calum still rambling over his voice. 

“-I’ll pay for a new one, I’ll pay you back double for it, I’m sorry man-” 

“Calum.” 

“No, I’m serious, I’m gonna fix this-” 

“Calum.”

Luke’s insistence in his voice finally made Calum stop, the slightly shorter man stopping in his tracks as Luke put his hands on his shoulders. He hadn’t felt the tears in his eyes or the ones that had fallen down his cheeks. 

“This is about more than just the vase, huh?” Luke asked, his voice soft and kind. Cal wordlessly nodded, shoulders starting to shake as he tried to make himself stop crying. 

Luke gently guided his roommate to the couch, sitting him down before disappearing into the kitchen. He appeared with a bottle of water and what he knew to be Calum’s not-so-secret stash of Sadness Snacks, setting both down in front of him before he took a seat beside him. 

“Let’s talk.” 

** 

Having your parents around was a big confidence booster for you. 

While having them watch you perform was kind of wild, they beamed in the back, mingling with bar regulars as they sat and proudly watched you dance. Their support for you was obvious, your coworkers voicing their slight jealousy at the sight of your parents cheering you on. 

That first day was full of you just filling them in on what had been going on, your mother doting over you while your father just chuckled and watched her do so. Both of them accepted all your boy drama and even joined Luke and Georgia in teasing you about it, the four of them unrelenting but loving nonetheless. 

Driving your parents to the airport was bittersweet, the goodbyes a bit teary as you hugged your parents and watched them walk inside the airport to go back home. When you got back in your car you let yourself cry a bit more before collecting yourself enough to drive, the Los Angeles traffic making it a longer drive back to your home. 

On the way, while stuck in traffic, your cell phone started ringing, the caller ID popping up on the screen in your car as you answered. It wasn’t a familiar number, the area code giving away that it was someone in the city but the rest of it was strange as you spoke.

“Hello?” 

“Hey, Ro, it’s Crystal.”

Your heart stopped for a minute before you swallowed. “Hey, Crystal. What’s up?”

A sigh came through the other side of the phone before Crystal spoke again. “Okay, I’m good at small talk so we’re just gonna skip over that, okay?” 

You nodded, a pausing coming from both of you while you thought about what she could be about to say. 

“I wanted to say I’m sorry.”

The words caught you by surprise. Crystal? Apologizing? You had to be dreaming. 

“I’ve been super rude to you since day one, and I really never even took a moment to really get to know you, I just let my ideas of you paint a picture of you in my head that wasn’t accurate.” Another long pause. “I’m sorry for yelling at you, too. That was uncalled for and all you had done was make an honest mistake, one that Daisy and I had made a thousand times. So, I’m sorry.”

You were stunned by her words; you had never expected or asked for an apology for her, actually insisting to everybody that you were fine with how things were between you and Crystal. You thought it was something that would never change, but now, sitting in the car, you realized those were the exact words you had been waiting to hear. 

“Thank you, Crystal. I forgive you.” 

A sigh of relief came through the phone. “Oh thank god, I’m so tired of trying to find reasons to hate you.” 

You laughed at that, Crystal chuckling on the other side of the phone. 

“Can we be friends now?” You asked, fingers tapping on your steering wheel. “I kind of need that right now.” 

You couldn’t see her face but you heard the smile on Crystal’s lips as she agreed, the two of you chatting for another minute before you hung up. 

The conversation filled you with happiness and confidence that you hadn’t expected, the reconciliation lifting a weight from your shoulders that you didn’t know had been there in the first place. You felt good for once, finally comfortable with yourself again as you sat in your car in the unending L.A. traffic. Something about that call inspired you, your thoughts running a bit wild as you decided to change your route. 

The streets you traveled on were new but familiar at the same time, the parking lot a bit quieter than you remembered it being as you pulled up and parked. A ball of butterflies and nerves had bunched up in your stomach, your insides almost desperate for release as you walked into the building. You took the stairs instead of the elevator this time, your mind racing with thoughts of how you were going to explain why you were there without sounding like a crazy person. 

When you stepped on to the correct floor your feet took it over for you, carrying you down the hallway until you reached the apartment number, your hand lifting and pausing before knocking rhythmically. 

You stood in front of the door and swallowed harshly, wringing your hands as your thoughts caught up with your actions. A few seconds that felt like minutes passed before you tried to slip away, the latch for the door turning before you had the chance to step away. 

The  door swung open, the man on the other side stunned at the sight before him. His bleached blonde hair had grown considerably, a bit of dark brown root now showing. The hood on his head accentuated his cheeks and pouty lips, dark eyebrows and freckles pulled upwards in surprise.

“Hey, Calum,” you said nervously. “Can we talk?” 

[evien-stark]

✧I Need You✧ Chapter 173

It was terribly difficult to get a speech written for the press conference coming up in… three hours from now. You’d been lingering over it all morning. Rhodey had gotten the first phone call over it- one of appreciation for his efforts, of course, and to check on his status. And then to ask him if he’d like to make it official. Him agreeing set another feeling of relief in motion. Knowing you had so many good people taking your spots… that made the thought of stepping back easier. It was also terribly funny. The thought of appointing him as the Avengers’ military liaison. When the two of you had met… he’d been doing the same thing for Stark Industries. And round the circle went...

While you and Tony had gotten caught up in thoughts of retirement you knew this was far more likely to be a changing of positions. The Avengers still needed a lot of help, even if it wasn’t physically fighting battles. You still had your own title with the UN, forced on you or not. And after a catastrophe like Sokovia, it wouldn’t look good for anybody if you just walked away. You had to still do PR work for them, and they still needed to be funded. But that was a far cry from early morning phone calls and being on the frontlines of world-ending events. 

...of course, you hoped no more of those would come knocking at earth’s door. But. The probability of them showing up from time to time was higher than them not. And. In the event that the Avengers needed to recall Team Iron… yes. Absolutely. You and Tony would never turn your backs so completely. How could you? That was what had started all of this, after all. Tony’s proclivity to make things right. His need to protect people. Sometimes even from things he’d created himself. 

A knock came on your home-office door, and Tony opened the door, standing half in the room. You looked up from your computer screen. He was already dressed. Smartly. Sharply, as always. Three piece suit. Dark silver slacks and a fitted suit jacket, black waist coat and button up shirt, and a maroon tie. His dark plaid pocket square was a little askew, but you’d have time to fix it before the two of you took the stage downstairs in the press room. 

You must have been staring, because his grin was a little knowing as he put one hand in his pocket and flicked his other arm up to make a show of checking his watch. “Thought I’d see how you were doing. It’s been an hour since you locked yourself in here. But. I can tell I’m distracting you.” 

“Immensely.” Smiling at him. You’d been caught. There was no need to hide your appreciation for just how incredibly handsome he was. “Who dressed you today? They did a fantastic job.” You hung your arm over the back of your computer chair, now putting your roving gaze on full display. 

“I dressed myself, thank you very much.” Hand to his chest for a moment, mocking the highest of offense. “Now- who picked out my suit- I can’t recall-” 

“Someone who has an eye for what you look good in, no doubt.” Grinning then. 

“Mn. She’s pretty good at it by now. Definitely has my unique flare locked down.” She being you. He moved out of the doorway to come closer to your desk, propping himself on the corner.

You made no attempts to hide your roving eyes yet again as you reached up to lightly pluck at one of the top buttons of his jacket. “I’ll have to send her a thank you card. You always look so good.” 

He leaned in as you tilted your head up to meet him, your noses brushing. “I’ll pass the message along.” Sealing the sentiment with a lingering, sweet kiss. A little hum traveling from his lips to yours. This was dangerous, and the two of you could very well end up being late for the press conference. You also ran a high risk of ruining his nicely tailored and finely picked out suit. The thing that was getting the both of you in trouble. When you found the strength to part he threatened it all over again as he wore a small smirk on the edge of his lips. “Oh. Honey. Got a message for you- there seems to be a secret admirer for your talents of fashion-” 

You silenced him with another kiss, one that half missed its mark as it was marred by his chuckling, but you put a stop to that pretty soon. Turning the laughter into some warm and breathy noise, replacing his ever-present sass with a more inherent need. It was hard to shut him up. 

That was yet another one of your unique talents where he was concerned. You were sure he knew. 

                                                               ---

The pair of you were a stylish yet somewhat dour match at the front of the Stark Industries media room. You matched his suit with a fitted, long sleeved houndstooth dress, with thick steel gray trim at the hem. Your pops of dark red came in the form of ruby drop earrings and a heart-shaped necklace you were overly fond of. 

The press had been buzzing for an hour waiting for your arrival. Most of your speech was not drafted, which was dangerous. But you couldn’t linger on it any longer. You had a base. The rest would have to come from somewhere deep inside you. ...just hopefully not too deep. 

“The loss of life that occurred in Sokovia forty-eight hours ago is a devastation unlike anything the earth has seen. And the loss of land is something that had previously been unfathomable.” Statistics came up on your prompter that you read over, trying not to wane while you called out the known casualties. The known injured. Even while the Avengers had tried their best to save lives… it was never a zero sum. Never. 

“The Stark Relief Foundation is on the scene currently, rehousing, rehoming- trying to find a place for every person that lost theirs in that terrible battle. In times like this it’s important to come together. It’s important to see through the fog of war and remember that we are one planet. We need to look out for each other. Take care of each other. That’s why I’m looking forward to discussions with the nations of the globe on a solution for the people of Sokovia. Sokovians didn’t have much, but I know they would have helped if it were anywhere else.” 

It was as important to mention that Stark Industries (and the Avengers by extension) were running clean up. And not so much mention it was clean up of a mess that maybe had been potentially caused by them. It was important to call out the need to come together, and to bring leaders into the narrative, so that they would have to call. So that they would have to do something. Otherwise be labeled as the ones who failed to act during an international crisis. You knew you couldn’t count on anyone’s blind charity. Forcing them was the only option. 

“The Sokovians have faced real horrors. It is going to take a lot of time to heal. While we are glad that the Avengers were there to assist them, I have to make special mention of Colonel James Rhodes. He is a highly decorated officer who has been a valuable asset to several missions as of late- this one especially. It’s why I’m pleased to appoint him our new military liaison. I know with his guidance and with his knowledge, we can build a much needed bridge between the authorities of the world and the Avengers- the Avengers who without fear and without hesitation charge into every catastrophe that calls upon them.” 

This speech might have been better given by someone that wasn’t part of the Avengers. But there was no one else to give it. Even if there was- your team wasn’t one person after all- they didn’t want to. This seemed to always be something that you had to do. And you’d still have to do it. Even when you and Tony announced that you’d be stepping away. ...which wouldn’t be a public affair. That would be a team discussion. And maybe even less of a discussion and more just… telling each individual. When the time was right. Which would be sooner than you were comfortable with. But you had to just do it. Or else you might not ever. 

                                                              ---

The next day, in your brand new office at the brand new Avengers Facility, while you were busy wading through damage reports and expense reports and emails and email reports- ...okay it was getting a little ridiculous. Like it always did after a huge incident- 

There came a hesitant knock at your door. And an even more hesitant man behind it. Clint, in fact. Who put his hands in his pockets and hung his head a little. “Do you have a minute?” 

Already you knew what this was about. This bastard was going to do it before you. Talk about guts. You stopped your keystrokes. “Sure. What’s up?” 

He shut the door behind him, only more confirmation of what was about to happen. And then he came to sit in front of your desk, putting his hands in front of him. Cloudy. Thinking. Thinking about how to- “You know. I rehearsed this a thousand times in my head. It was supposed to be really simple.” His smile was self deprecating. And a little sad. 

Yours suddenly matched. “You’re leaving, huh?” 

“That obvious?” He glanced up at you suddenly but his surprise faded quickly. “-yeah. Guess it would be.” To you, he meant. And meant nothing by it, either. 

“You have kids. And another one on the way. Something I had no idea about. I can’t imagine how Laura does it.” 

“She’s stronger than me, that’s for sure.” 

“I wouldn’t doubt it.” Grinning a little wryly. He seemed to appreciate the humor. “You tell anyone else yet?” 

“Nat knows.” Obviously she did. Nat knew everything about him. They were closer than you’d ever be with either of them. That was fine. “But. I wanted to come to you first.” 

“Why me?” Not that it mattered. But really, you hadn’t considered yourself high on the list of people Clint would tell that he was leaving. At least not the first after Natasha. 

He took a deep breath and let it out in a sigh as his head tilted. “Well… you kinda run things around here.” Part of you wanted to reject this. Wanted to also follow it up with not for long. But that wouldn’t even be true. “And. You look out for us. I know I haven’t said as much but. I really appreciate everything you’ve done for me. And for the team. I don’t think they appreciate it as much. How much you put yourself out there. So we don’t have to.” 

Someone like Clint would be the one to openly admire the benefits that came with something like that. It was true. For someone who hid almost all of his private life. Someone who wanted nothing to do with the fame that came with being a superhero. Someone who just wanted to do what was right- ...and then not get caught holding the aftermath the way you had to- 

His aforementioned appreciation was just that. And it was deep. 

“Tony and I are used to it.” Deflection came as a natural reflex. Out of everyone on your team, you and Tony were the most used to being media darlings. Or being the ones everyone loved to hate. Either way. It was a life you knew.

“Doesn’t mean you had to. Doesn’t mean you had to do any of what you’re doing right now.” 

You felt a little helpless as he looked at you. “Someone had to.” 

“And we’re lucky it was you.” 

You couldn’t recall a time Clint had ever been this candid with you. But, if he really was leaving, maybe this was the best time for it. To get out everything the two of you had never had the chance to. Your smile was small but you couldn’t help it. “Thanks, Clint. Will you at least send me some baby pictures?” 

At this he laughed. “Sure. Why not? Maybe it’ll give Stark some ideas.” 

Your hand came straight up. “Don’t start. Or I’ll rescind my blessing.” 

“I’ll still leave.” He grinned as he stood. 

“But it won’t be as nice as it just was.” You stood after him and offered your hand across the desk. 

He considered it. For almost too long a time. But finally he gave you a shake. And right in the middle of it he gave you a more serious look. “You and Stark consider going down that road yet?” Apparently before Clint left, he needed to be sure of this. 

“We’ve talked about it.” Not so much specifically having kids, but, about having a life. Which you were a few weeks out from attempting. And still not ready to tell anyone. 

“Don’t talk for too long.” He held your hand still then. “Opportunities don’t come often.” 

“No they don’t.” Agreeing with him. It certainly wasn’t now or never. But… That moment was getting awfully close. 

                                                              ---

Over the next handful of days, the Facility really started coming to life. Some of the team had gotten a little more settled in their personal private quarters. Damage Control also had their own host of barracks- which you weren’t sure how you felt about. The Avengers had never been about trying to recreate SHEILD. And the way they marched around campus wasn’t all that convincing that someone wasn’t pulling the strings while you had your back turned but…

You couldn’t control everything. You didn’t want to anymore, in fact. So you had to let that go. It helped to have experienced agents in the field, when you dispatched them. When you needed them. So. ...maybe it was a necessary evil. You tried hard not to think about it. 

Instead you focused on your meeting with legal that afternoon, and promptly afterwards you dropped down to the science labs. Alight with excitement and activity. There was one person you were there to see specifically, and she seemed to be hosting a mini-lecture, talking strongly about things that went right over your head in concerns to her research. You politely waited for her to finish and clear her assistants out, and once she did-

“Helen, can I have a word with you?” You felt a little nervous, but had no inclination to show it. 

That she even still wanted to be here after everything that had happened to her was a miracle. But… you suspected what you were offering- or about to- had a lot to do with it. “We’re running on borrowed time.” 

“Don’t I know it.” Joking. But it seemed to miss its mark. She gave you a polite smile and nothing more. So you quickly moved on. Plopping a hefty folder down, you pushed it her way over the table. “We’re done drawing up the documents to merge Stark Industries and U-GIN. It’s less about us and more about you. We’d like to offer you a permanent position here. As head of bio-organic sciences for the Avengers.” 

She made a play at not being so intrigued. It failed, but she probably had no idea. “Is that so? What are you offering?” 

“Your own labs. Your own funding. Public backing. We just ask that when the Avengers need help you give it.” That was really more what this was about. Her tech had been instrumental in helping the team. In keeping some of them alive even. It was useful. And they needed it. Not everyone was a Super Soldier. 

Opening the folder, she flipped through a few of the pages. She was an extremely smart woman, smarter than you would ever hope to be, but even you knew that telltale glaze of the eyes when faced with legalese. “What about housing?” 

This- ...this you hadn’t considered. “Uh- it’s not in the official documents. But, if you want something here, we’d be happy to accommodate you.” 

As suddenly as she’d opened it, she snapped the folder shut, putting her hand on top of it and looking directly at you. “I’ll be very straight with you. I need stability. If you offer that I’ll stay.” 

Seeing as how you had nothing to lose by doing so, you nodded. “Sure. Tell me what you need.” 

“I don’t want quarters here. I need a house. I have a son and… I’m sure you can imagine that life going back and forth from labs hasn’t been easy on him.” She softened then, and there was a sheen of guilt that ghosted her. Worried she was a bad mother, perhaps. 

“I had no idea.” 

“Not many people do. And I’d like to keep it that way, as well.” 

You almost shrugged. But this was a little bit more important than a casual conversation. This was everything to her. You had money to throw around that no one else on the planet did. Sometimes that slipped by you. Terrible though it was. “Sure. A house. And confidentiality. We can provide all that.” 

Hearing your agreement, and trusting you for that matter, she eased up. Her smile was a little more real. “Alright then. I’ll sign.” 

“Great. Glad to hear it.” The meeting was over. So you thought you probably should leave. She’d hand in the documents to Pepper or somebody else who would then hand them to legal for processing- but- “What’s your son’s name?” 

At this she really did brighten. It was easy to see- she loved her work. She loved being a scientist. But she loved him more. A feeling maybe one day you would know… “Amadeus. He’s twelve.” 

“I bet he takes after you.” 

Now she was grinning. “You have no idea.” 

                                                              ---

Tony had introduced you to your quarters that night. While you weren’t excited at the idea of living there, and clearly neither was he, it was still nice to have a home away from home away from… well, if the two of you could actually get it together enough to make an actual home… maybe that’s why it felt so bad. The penthouse suite of the Tower wasn’t supposed to be your home either. You didn’t want to get too attached to the lofty Facility living space that Tony had put aside for the two of you. And there was always the danger that you would. 

It was why you didn’t want to decorate it too much but it needed a little bit more personality than what he’d given it. Which was fine. Tony wasn’t really a homemaker. He seemed to give you credit where it was due, though, over the next three days around other more important things like meetings and press junkets of goodwill and hope, you did decorate it. Make it more cozy. And the night you decided you were done enough, he actually slept. 

And so did you. 

For a little while, at least. At five in the morning your mind stirred. It would have been so nice to sleep like a normal person. You were getting there. Close. Things were wrapping. You just had a few more personal things to do. But your head was clearer than it had been in a long time, and while the sun was lifting, you decided to go for a run around the campus. It meant leaving Tony asleep alone in that giant bed, but you did stop to admire his deeply sleeping form. Not held by terrors or worries. If only he could be like that all the time. 

The run was nice. Nobody else seemed to be up yet. But as you stopped just outside the living area again after a good five mile tour, breathing hard, hands on your knees, you spied Steve sitting outside on the patio. Alone. Cup of coffee wisping away. This was probably a sign. And no matter how hard this was going to be, it was now or never. 

You rounded the area and came over to the table, he seemed like he was a million miles away until you got close enough. He then looked up and his smile was warm. “Good morning.” 

“Good morning.” Huffed out a little, still gathering yourself up. “Mind if I sit with you?” 

He made a broad gesture with a sweep of his arm. “Please. Sit. You want some coffee?” 

Water would have been better, but while he was offering- “If you don’t mind making me a cup.” 

“Not at all.” Just like that he got up and went back into the kitchen. It left you sitting there, thinking about just how you were going to do this. How you were supposed to. What was the right way to break the news. When he came back he set down not only a cup but a shaker of sugar and a little carton of half and half. “-I don’t know how you take it. I should have asked.” 

“That’s okay. Thanks for making me some.” This was nice but it was also stilted. He probably sensed it. And even after you prepped your cup, the two of you sat in silence that was less than amicable. Finally you decided you just had to rip the bandaid off and get it over with. “So.” 

“So.” He was gazing at you. Just short of intensely. Almost like he was expecting you to talk about something. 

Your smile back was weak at best and brief. A flash and then gone as you looked down into your coffee. “So… uh. Tony and I…” The thought trailed off, not sure what to say even after all that thinking. 

“Are pregnant?” He tried to finish what you were trying to get out. 

And it completely stunned you. Your head whipped up- even stranger still- getting the sense of a small well of hopefulness from him. “No- no.” Denial was quick and easy. “What?” Your head reeled a little further back, almost in offense. “What? No. Why would you say that?” He looked completely caught. Eyes a little wide. Suddenly very, very nervous. “Steve why would you say that?” Your words were quick and clipped. 

He was very close to grimacing. “I- ...I don’t know what to say right now that won’t get me in more trouble.” 

“Do I look pregnant to you?” 

Quickly he shoved his hand out, palm up. “No! You look great! You look- you look how you always look!” 

“Then why would you say that?” You weren’t sure why but you found yourself a little disturbed that he’d just say something like that. 

“I don’t know- you-” He sighed, shoulders dropping from their tense position as he hung his head with a little shake. “I don’t know. You’ve seemed happier, I guess. These past couple of weeks. Despite everything that’s happened. And…” Another long breath pushed out of him and he looked up at you again. “Let’s be honest. You kinda seem like you’re getting your affairs together. At least that’s how it’s felt.” 

Had you made it that obvious? “Oh.” Now you felt terrible. “Yeah I… I guess I have been.” Letting him down finally from that anxious high. A little too soon actually, so you threw a look back at him. “Well I’m not pregnant.” 

“Okay. I won’t make that mistake again.” Grinning, testing the waters. 

Your grin back was not as full. “But. Tony and I… we’ve been thinking of taking some time away.” The way his heart just sank killed you. He tried not to show it. But you felt its quick drop. It propelled you into overcorrection. “Just- just for a little while.”

But he shook his head, and spoke through his sad smile. “Not for a little while.” 

“No. Not for a little while.” Echoing him, unable to look at him then. Guilty. “We want a lot of time. We want-” It sucked, that it hurt saying this. It shouldn’t have. You wanted a life with Tony. Why was that such a terrible thing to say? 

“If anyone deserves it, it’s you and Tony.” He was sure about this. A steady presence after all that initial stumbling. 

“Thanks.” But it all felt hopeless. 

He tipped his head a little. “Are you asking for my blessing?” Joking, just a little. It wasn’t really that funny. This exchange was familiar to both of you now. 

You gave a shrug and then decided to stop meandering, looking down. “I can’t leave unless you’re okay with it. And I don’t want that to back you into a corner- tell me- honestly- if you’re not-” 

“I’m okay with it.” He cut you off with a strength you did not possess right now. And then surprised you again as he set a hand over yours on the table. The way he said your name was strange yet familiar at the same time and you looked up at him. “We’ll be okay.” 

But it was like he’d stuck a knife into you with that. Like he’d actually denied you. It hurt all the same. “Will you?” You asking this seemed to stun him, for some reason. His gaze went a little more than foggy. Distant. Until eventually his eyes left yours. Something tangled inside him, though he was holding back. Knowing exactly who he was sitting with. His guilt poked you like a hot knife. And soon you worried… you worried you weren’t actually going to be able to leave. He didn’t want you to go. But it seemed he was feeling guilty- ashamed, too- of thinking of asking you to stay. Even for a little while longer. “Steve? You can talk to me. About anything. Whatever it is you wanna say. Just say it.” 

Getting his attention back finally he breathed a noise out, dropping his head in a nod. “Look… we’ve been through a lot. And… I’m gonna miss you.” 

“Come on.” Turning your hand over in his, giving him a wiggle. “I have an office upstairs- and a suite. Tony has labs here and projects he’s excited about. You’ll still see me. I’m not disappearing completely. I still have to do press for the Avengers. And do payroll and all that. I’m not leaving here. I’m not abandoning you guys.” 

“Good. I’m glad to hear it. But that’s not what I meant.” 

Steve meant… he’d miss fighting alongside you. He’d miss getting mission statements. Getting debriefings. Hell, even fighting with you about what direction was best. It wasn’t always fun, it was never easy. But… it was the basis for a lot of your relationship. And he would miss having you in that part of his life. 

The two of you were staring at each other. Before you knew it, a few tears had escaped down past the line of your lashes. “Yeah. I’m gonna miss you, too.” 

It was hard to tell who got up first. But the end result was still the same. He’d pulled you into a tight hug. He was letting you go. He was telling you this was okay. It was okay to leave. To start a life. He was letting you know he would take over. Without question. He would do his best. He would lead the Avengers. He would fight the fights. 

...and you’d miss each other. 

                                                              ---

Aside from all the usual work you had to put in after a crisis, nothing happened immediately after your talk with Steve for the next few days. It was why you suspected a storm was on its way. Especially if you kept putting off having a similar talk with the rest of your teammates. The one with Steve had been so emotionally taxing, it had put you off wanting to do it again. 

But the universe perhaps for once was on your side. And it forced your teammates to you instead. All at once. 

You’d just come out of a long meeting hosted at one of the conference rooms in the Facility. Once the air had cleared and everyone had left the area, you double checked your schedule. Clear for the rest of the night. It would be a nice time to reconvene with Tony. See if he’d done any similar talking yet- 

“Lady.” Thor called your attention from down the hall, heavy boots bringing him to you in just a few steps. “I would like to speak with you.” 

For one reason or another, anxiety flared tight in your chest. But you had no good reason not to. Feelings aside. “Sure, Thor. Why don’t we take a walk?” 

“I’d like that.” His smile tried to ease your fears. It missed its mark. Outside in the dying light of the sun the air was muggy and not at all as refreshing as you’d hoped. Still, you stuck your hands into your pockets and waited for him to say whatever it was he had to say. He didn’t take too long. Only waiting until you were far enough out of earshot of the compound. “Before the Vision was born, I visited a holy place called the Water of Sights.” 

Oh. So he was jumping right in. You had little time to react to this new information. “Is that on earth?” Or had he traveled somewhere else? 

“It is everywhere. In every realm. The Water of Sights is inhabited by a people called the Norns. They see what is to come.” 

Even though you really didn’t understand too much about this, you nodded. “That’s where you had your vision, right? About JARVIS- or- err- Vision- and the Infinity Stones?” 

“Yes.” He said this so resolutely it startled you momentarily. But much more so when he stopped walking. You turned, a little in front of him, but still close. His eyes watched yours. Deeply. “I saw you.” 

“Me?” Hand raising to not only gesture at yourself, but to press at your chest just a little. That anxiety was starting to get the better of you. You felt very tight. “Why me?” 

“That is what I would like to find out. In my vision I saw the Infinity Stones. Four of them.” 

“Four? I thought you said there were six?” 

“I saw the four I believe we know of. That we have had contact with, even if brief.” Really, though, what it sounded like was he was pitching you this information in the hopes that you knew something he didn’t. So he could tie it all together.

But not only did you know nothing about this. You also wanted nothing to do with it. You started shaking your head. It was too little too late now, though. You couldn’t deny this. Thor had seen you in a vision about the stones. All you could do was plead ignorant. Lie. ...it didn’t seem right. “My powers- whatever they are- come from a stone.” 

“Are you certain?” 

“Mostly?” Offering this with a raise of both your hands and a tight uptilt of your voice. “I don’t know. We’re still trying to figure it out. Nobody else knows. Tony had been doing some experiments with Bruce- having to do with gamma signatures and… stuff that’s way beyond me. But. They said that’s what they think. And if that’s what they think-” 

“Then the probability that it is correct is very high.” Thor’s gaze went a little foggy as he nodded. “But you know nothing of which stone? Or what happened?” 

You crossed your arms. “No. I’m sorry I can’t help you. When I know more you’re now the first I’ll check in with.” Aside Tony, of course. 

His attention returned fully to you and his smile was sure as he reached out to lay a hand on your shoulder. “I appreciate that, Lady. I mean to leave soon, to travel the realms and find out more about the stones. But. Whatever it meant- you in my vision- I believe it can only mean good things.” 

Your nose wrinkled and reluctance was easy. “Why?” 

“For the same reason that I trust the Vision. He possesses the Mind Stone, and means to do good with it. If you have anything to do with another stone, it will only help us. You are one of the most trustworthy people I know. And I know your heart is good.” 

His optimism was a little hard to take in all at once. You decided to focus on something else, “Wait- I mean- thank you- but… Tony thinks I was experimented on- or that I had some interaction with a stone when I was younger. Kind of like Wanda. And Pietro. But you didn’t see them. I don’t understand.” 

“Nor do I. But I’m hoping my travels will reveal more information.” 

This was an unsatisfactory answer. In fact it wasn’t an answer at all. And really now you felt worse. Thor was putting a lot on you all at once about these stones, not that he was doing it on purpose you were sure. But you really didn’t want anything to do with them. You’d almost mostly decided as long as Tony never brought it up again… maybe you’d just never talk about it. But now Thor was telling you he saw you in a vision- 

“Lady, everything will be alright. You have my word.” 

Your spiraling must have been a little too obvious. You forced a smile. “Sure.” Not really agreeing with or even believing him. “Can I just ask you that we keep this between us?” 

He nodded. “It was why I wanted to speak with you alone.” 

You were undecided if this was better or worse. That Thor’s instinct was to not let anyone else know, too. ...probably worse.                                                               ---

The talk with Thor had left you a little frazzled and worse for wear. Your immediate instinct was to find Tony. So you went back to the compound. And while your heart was already in the suite, your attention was stolen by two fingers on the ground level training floor. You could have easily passed them by, but- moving beyond the catwalk, one of them spotted you. 

And then in the next second Pietro was up there with you. “You’re a hard woman to get a hold of, you know that?” He leaned over the balcony, grinning. 

“Just busy.” Your nerves were too shot for this encounter. But it didn’t seem like you had much of a choice. “How are you feeling?” The least you could do was check in on him. Maybe he was right. Maybe you were extremely unavailable. Little did he know that was about to get worse. 

His head dropped, hands clasped together. “Fine.” Answer short and clipped. The air between you was tense. You thought about excusing yourself. “As far as I can tell, that’s because of you. I’ve asked around. No one seems to know what I’m talking about.” 

You found yourself a little too upset very quickly and you put a hand up to him to get his attention. When he looked at you, “What happened between us? Whatever I did for you? It needs to stay between us. Okay?” 

Turning the other way on the railing, he splayed his arms out, brows knit. “Why?” 

“Because I don’t know what I did.” You were being a little harsh, but you just didn’t have it in you to be gentle right now. Even if he seemed like he needed that. “All I know is you’re alive. That’s what’s important, right?” 

“I shouldn’t be alive.” That careless sarcastic facade reduced to ashes in mere seconds. And… for a moment, behind your eyes, you saw Tony. Collapsing into a chair in the lab. Looking at you with pained eyes. You had to shake yourself free. “I shouldn’t be but…” Pietro continued and you tried to yank yourself out of that memory. He put a hand on his chest. “But I am. And I’m trying to figure out what comes next.” 

Wanda had stopped what she was doing and was now standing just below. Listening in, no doubt. You took a deep breath. “Are you two staying? With the Avengers?” 

He shrugged. “Seems like we are.” 

“Then you need to work really hard. The world is going to be looking at you two. Sokovians who fought in its war. Who now stand for something greater. The media is already trying to take advantage of you for headlines.” 

The roll of his eyes- his carelessness- it bugged the hell out of you. “I don’t care about all that.” 

You got very close to putting your finger right into his chest as you pointed at him. “Well you have to. If you’re going to be part of this team you have to care. You and your sister. And they’ll look after you. They’ll protect you.” 

He seemed annoyed. “Who says we need protecting? We got by on our own. We can again.” 

“The world has seen you. They know you now. You are enhanced individuals. Not only that, but you’re now only under the protection of the Avengers. An American organization. You’re going to have to get your citizenship-” 

Wanda had stepped onto the catwalk. And she was interrupting you. “We are citizens of Sokovia.” 

You were about to flare. Burn them both up to a crisp. You didn’t want to deal with this right now. But a new energy had entered. Where Wanda had joined on the left, you heard pointed footsteps on your right. Tony had appeared. You didn’t know where from or how he knew to come get you. You just knew that you were grateful. He started waving his arm about. “Look. That’s great and all. I get it. The patriotic flare. But Sokovia is gone. And someone needs to take you in.” When he finally came to a stop you were seconds from sagging against him. His loving brush across your back kept you sane in that moment. 

Both of them stood together, almost opposite you and Tony purposefully. Wanda narrowed her eyes. “You cannot ask us to abandon our home.” 

Tony put a hand up. “Not abandon. Nobody said abandon. But, let’s get real here for a second. You’re enhanced. You’re on American soil. You don’t get smart about this, the President is gonna roll up here and make examples out of you. The guy’s been pretty twitchy these days. Don’t count on his mercy. He’s not like us.” 

“Not like you. Yet it sounds like you aren’t giving us another choice. So how are you different? One prison over another.” Wanda really seemed vehement about this. You weren’t sure why. 

So you tried to find some footing on her level. Every attempt was made to keep your tone gentle. “You fought. You understood the notion of helping people. Of righting what went wrong. You saw what the Avengers stood for. You see the work that’s going in now. We are not your enemies. We want what’s best for you. Sokovia is gone. I know nobody is more devastated about that than you two. All we can do now is rebuild. This team wants you as part of their family. Not as prisoners.” 

Pietro touched her hand with his and she seemed to soften. If only a little. He then looked up at the both of you. “If we agree… what does that mean?” 

You and Tony exchanged glances, and he fielded the question. “Nobody’s gonna babysit you. You wanna be here, you put in the time. Really. Citizenship first. I’d expedite but- given you’re the center of a media storm right now- might be good to do it the old fashioned way. It’s gonna take a while, so you gotta get on it. Other than that… show up, when somebody needs you. Fight the good fight. Doesn’t get simpler than that.” 

The two of them looked at each other. You were sure a million words passed between them. When they were finished, Wanda turned back. She seemed a little more subdued. And finally, “We will stay.” 

Tony’s relief that the two of you wouldn’t have to fight them anymore soaked you through. “Great. Glad to hear it.” 

And that was that.                                                               ---

While it would have been nice to just go back to your suite and maybe go to bed or decompress, you found Natasha waiting at your door. Today was really just going to keep going. Maybe that was on you. If you’d only spaced all these little talks out, they wouldn’t have piled together like this. She stopped in the middle of a knock when she heard you approaching, and when she turned you noted the big bottle she had in her hand. “Was wondering where you two were.” Grinning just a little. “Hoping I hadn’t missed you already.” 

Ah. So. That’s what this was about. Tony opened the door first and you went after him, motioning for her to come in. “You know, huh?” 

Her laugh was short. “These guys aren’t the best at keeping secrets. Honestly, my feelings are just hurt because you didn’t tell me first. Out of everyone here, I’ve known you both the longest.” She seemed like she was in a fantastic mood, but some of that was a little bit fake. 

She wanted something to do. Something to focus on. Bruce was gone. They’d been getting close. It wasn’t easy for anyone, but you expected she was having a tough time with it, too. You pulled a couple wine glasses out of the cabinet in the kitchen. “Well the only one I told was Steve. So unless Tony has been blabbing all over campus…” Turning back to look at the two of them, Tony looked guilty and Nat looked amused. “Ah. I see.” Turning away again. 

Tony started fumbling. “Some things just slip out.” 

Natasha wedged the cork out of the bottle as you came over and set glasses down. “Sure. Exciting times, it’s understandable.” You poured a fair amount into three glasses- she’d picked a rather expensive red wine. Always classy, that Natasha. “You gonna miss it?” 

You sat down opposite the two of them at the kitchen island. “Like I told Steve- we’ll still be here, you know? You know that more than anyone. Someone’s gotta do paperwork for the Avengers.” 

Tony sipped heavily at his glass and then shook his head. “Mn. Not me. You people don’t pay me enough.” 

Nat laughed a little. “You pay us.” 

“Don’t I know it.” He sipped even more. Exaggerated, putting on a show for the humor of it all. 

You shook your head. “You don’t know it, actually.” Caught, he hid a smile behind another sip. 

Once the mirth died down, Natasha looked at Tony first and then you. “So. What’s the plan? House in the hills? Big extravagant wedding? Kids? White picket fence?” 

Tony made a face. “I think you’re thinking of someone else.” 

Instead of letting them pick on Steve, you spoke up quickly. “We don’t know yet. We just… know that it’s time.” 

Nat smiled again. “Yeah. That’s more than fair, I think.” She was incredibly sad, but hiding it well. 

It was kind of getting to you, though. You didn’t want her to be sad. Not over the two of you- and not over Bruce, either. But you could only alleviate one of those things. “Really. You’ll probably see us all the time.” 

Tony seemed offended by the notion. “Well- not all the time-” Almost like he was realizing you two had a different perception of what starting a life looked like. But one look at him and he seemed to smarten up. Because he cast a sideways glance at Nat next. And- then- yes it clicked. “But. You know. Often enough.” 

Nat also seemed to get it and grinned. “You guys don’t feel bad for me, do you?” 

You put your chin in your palm. “No. Not at all.” Then you took a slow slip of your wine. “What’s your retirement plan look like?” 

At this she really did laugh. Something genuine. “Retirement? I don’t think so.” 

Tony leaned in on her side. “Why not? If we can do it, anyone can, I think.” 

Nat lifted a brow to him. “The question is can you do it?” Perhaps a little disbelieving. Which was valid. You and Tony were workaholics, after all… 

“Won’t know until we try.” You lifted your glass. “How about a toast. To trying.” 

Not a toast for goodbyes, which was why you guessed she’d brought the wine in the first place. She softened, looking at you. Then she lifted her glass. “To trying.” 

The soft clink of all three of your glasses made a nest in your memories. It kind of felt like the end cap you’d been looking for this entire time. A small moment, but by no means insignificant. 

And then, after a long sip, you broke the quietness. Feeling better now enough to joke. “Do you know when I tried to tell Steve, he asked if I was pregnant?” 

Tony looked shocked, Nat did too- but in an extremely tickled way that led to her stifled laughter. “No he did not. Tell me he didn’t.” 

“He did.” 

A little gossiping never hurt anyone. 

                                                              ---

It was the day before Tony’s birthday. May 28th. You knew because you had been counting it all down. Almost down to the minute in the last week. The two of you had gone back to the city, finding it easier to do pressers and meetings closer to that homebase, rather than keep going to and from the Facility. The early morning meeting that day had been that the ribbon cutting of the Facility was finalized. The Avengers had a new home. New teammates that they were excited to introduce to the public they so lovingly served over the next few months. And when asked where the Facility was… well. That was private. The Avengers deserved privacy, too, after all. 

May 28th was also the day you and Tony were officially stepping away. Everyone knew at that point. It was no longer a secret. It was out there. It was real. And you couldn’t wait to start. 

The drive back up from the city to the Facility was a couple of hours. Tony drove a little faster than he should have, more excited than you, in fact, to close everything out. He’d only been asking for this very thing for the last few years. You couldn’t hold it against him. His hand had found yours as soon as the two of you had gotten in the car- maybe a little bit before that, showing off for the media. 

And still the two of you were clutching to each other as you stepped out onto the Facility grounds that afternoon. After approaching the main compound you cast a look up his way. “You’re sure you’re ready to do this?” Grinning just a little. 

His own wide smile was very telling. “Me? Yeah. More than. What about you? It’s gettin’ a little late to turn back.” 

“Guess I’ll just have to go with it then, won’t I?” You were teasing, but saying this seemed to make him just a little unsure. Something you quickly eased away as you put a hand to his chest, leaning up on tiptoe to press a light kiss to his lips. He melted. Immediately. And you sensed he was seconds away from telling you to get back in the car and just send a note saying goodbye. When you tried to break, he followed you, so much so that you had to actually put a finger to his lips. “We still have to make some rounds.” 

“Mn.” Mumbling against your skin. “How many?” Whatever number you gave him it was going to be too high. 

A presence standing a few feet back from you caught your attention, and you half turned to see JARVIS standing there. Waiting. As if you two had a scheduled appointment. Tony’s gaze followed and then when he looked back at you, a small touch of understanding passed between the both of you. To ease him, you gave him just one more small kiss. And then, “I’ll meet you when I’m finished. I know Thor’s leaving, too. We’ll all say goodbye at the same time.” 

He just nodded. “Don’t be late.” His hands went into his pockets, and even as you turned and walked away, you felt him watching after you. 

JARVIS tilted his head upon your approach, his eyes glancing briefly at Tony. But when you got near enough he put his full attention on you. “It seems the time has come. You and Tony are leaving.” 

The past few weeks it had turned from an open secret to people actually knowing. Yet somehow still it was strange. To just have it out there. “Is that okay with you?” 

“With me?” It was a rare treat, to see JARVIS surprised about anything- whether in this body or as a disembodied voice watching over your lives. “What have I to do with it?” 

“Everything.” You smiled up at him. “You’ve looked after Tony and I for so long. And I know everything is still fresh and new. It’s going to be… strange. Not having you around. Having you here.” 

His expression grew contemplative and eventually he nodded. “Yes, I agree. But. I feel there is something enjoyable to new beginnings.” Rolling off him there was just the faintest sense of blue. He didn’t want you to go. But he wouldn’t say as much. He even threw his chances at doing so away when he gave you a little smile. “You two have talked about this for quite some time. Far longer than this. You deserve it.” 

Your shoulders came up in a pronounced shrug. “I don’t know about deserve-”

“I do.” His hand came out, fingers gentle as he touched over your arm. You stood very still. Just watching him. “For everything you and Tony have been through. Everything you have seen. Everything you have endured… and everything yet to come… enjoy this. Please. You’ve more than earned it.” His words were busy seeping deep into you- and it took you a little too long to answer. So he grasped you just a little tighter, “I will be alright.” 

That was the root of the issue. He knew it. He knew that’s what you were really worried about. You didn’t want to abandon him. This was all so new for him. And now you and Tony were leaving, too. “Promise?” It was almost sort of selfish, asking this of him. 

His smile then was one of admiration. And no less of love. “I promise.” 

You made the first move, reaching up to wrap your arms around him. Squeezing him tight. It was strangely rewarding. When he hugged you back just as hard. 

                                                              ---

It took you a little while searching the compounds, but you found your three favorite confidants roaming the eastern outer wing, shoulder-to-shoulder-to-shoulder with each other. Though they would have met you coming up the other way, you were alight with sudden nervous energy. It was starting to feel like now or never. As Thor, Tony, and Steve approached, you smiled at them. “You boys having a rousing discussion about something important?” 

Tony reached his hand out, putting it on your shoulder. “Terribly. I need your opinion. Vision. He’s not- he’s not human, right?” 

This blindsided you. “Uh- I guess- technically- no? Why?” 

Steve snapped with a point afterwards at Thor. “Ahah. See? It doesn’t count.” You were worried what you’d agreed to. They were all in a fantastic mood it seemed. 

Tony shook his head, putting his arm around you. “No. It’s not a person lifting the hammer.” 

“Right. It’s different rules for us.” 

Oh. ...were they serious? You nudged Tony just a little. “What’s the matter? Egos bruised a little?” You cast a look up Thor’s way although he was extremely amused. Clearly not upset by the talk at hand. “You gonna let them go on like this?” 

“It’s alright, Lady. As I’ve already said. If he can wield the hammer, he can keep the Mind Stone.” -ah, that was a little bit of a different discussion than the men worrying about who was more worthy. “It’s safe with the Vision. And these days safe is in short supply.” 

The four of you took up walking down the rest of the hall. You couldn’t help yourself. “Don’t say that. Please. Or else we’ll be here a few more weeks.” 

Tony raised his free hand in a sweeping wave. “Absolutely not. We’re safe. He said it. No takesy-backseys.” 

Steve spoke from your other side. “Let me just say this- if you put the hammer in an elevator…” 

A sharp and quick chuckle came from Tony. “Elevator would still go up. We can test that theory.” 

You shook your head, feigning exasperation. “You two really aren’t gonna let this go, huh?” 

Looking over at you Steve raised both his brows, “Now- see- the elevator isn’t worthy. That’s my point. But it’ll still go up.” 

There was another stinging edge you wanted to put in- men and their egos- but Thor’s laughter stopped you. He reached out, laying one of those heavy hands on Tony’s shoulder, giving him a small shake. “You know, I’m going to miss these talks of ours.” 

Tony grinned at him. “Not if you don’t leave.” 

Raising a finger, you had to ask, “Doesn’t Asgard have better communication tech? We need to have cellphones. Hell. Even pagers would be better than no contact.” 

After a slow blink, Thor asked, “What is a pager?” Steve seemed equally interested. 

Tony rolled his eyes. “Please. Let’s not step back. I can figure interstellar communication tech out. Give me a month.” A month of working. Of Thor staying here. And… the two of you not actually leaving to go on your own, too.

Something Thor understood very quickly. “Ah. Lady would not be too pleased with that, I fear. You will have to figure it out on your own time.” Your smile was gratitude enough, and the three of you followed him as he finally exited the hall to go onto the lawn. “The Mind Stone is the fourth of the Infinity Stones to show up in the last few years. That’s not a coincidence. Someone has been playing an intricate game and has made pawns of us. But once all the pieces are in position…” 

This was… this was not how you wanted a send off to go. He was speaking so darkly. Surmising about the future. And it didn’t sound great. Tony offered his usual sassy levity. “Triple Yahtzee?” 

The mood had turned. Steve put his hands on his belt. “You think you can find out what’s coming?” This was work. It was duty. 

Thor nodded. “I do.” But he eased the mood by breaking with a smile. Lifting his hand, he gave Tony a small pat to the chest. “Besides this one? There’s nothing that can’t be explained.” He stepped further back and the intent was clear. While he gave the group a nod, you raised your hand in a small wave. And while he lifted his hammer towards the sky- you got lucky. And he offered you a small wave in return. 

Right before he summoned that ridiculous rainbow lighting. And disappeared in the next flash. Leaving behind a burned patterned ring in your freshly laid and cut grass. 

Tony’s annoyance hit the mark first. “That man has no regard for lawn maintenance.” 

You just sighed. “I’ll send him a bill when he’s here next time.” 

“Yeah. And he’ll pay it with money we give him. Paying ourselves. What a scheme.” Reaching into his pocket he pulled his keys free with a little jangle, and then once he had his fob in hand, he called his car over. “I will miss him, though.”

“Me, too.” Echoing the sentiment easily. Thor often came and went whenever it suited him. But that didn't mean you liked him any less, or were any less attached. 

That fancy sports car made its way down the drive, and you and Tony went over to it. Steve followed at a lingering distance. The two of you looked at him, and Tony smiled. “Don’t tell me. You have the big we’ll miss you card that I’ve been asking for. I’m impressed. Where’ve you been hiding it?” 

Affectionately you rolled your eyes. “Oh please say you do. I don’t want to hear him whining about it.” 

Steve’s smile was soft. Something bittersweet. “I will miss the both of you. Even if I didn’t bring a card.”

The quipping mood seemed to die rather quick, and Tony nodded slowly. “Yeah. Well. ...it’s time for us to tap out. Barton’s kinda making us look bad. And…” He didn’t know how to say it exactly. Maybe it was his present audience. Tony had never had trouble explaining his desires about this to you. 

You twined your fingers with his, but kept your eyes on Steve. “We want a life.” Saying it just the way it was. As plainly as could be. You felt Tony looking at you, so you glanced up at him. “Together.” His smile then wrapped a warmth around you. 

Steve interrupted your gazing. “Hopefully a simple one.” 

Tony looked back at him. “You’ll get there one day.” 

You couldn’t help your grin. “Sharon’s welcome to come by any time, you know. Have you talked to her lately?” 

And this seemed to ruin his mood completely. He gave a heavy shrug and looked away. “She hasn’t answered my calls in weeks.” You wanted to offer maybe she’s just busy- you didn’t want this to be the thing that made him give up. But he kept talking. “I don’t know anymore. Family… stability…” He looked up at you and Tony again. “The guy who wanted all that went in the ice seventy-five years ago. I think someone else came out.” 

This broke your heart. Completely. To hear him say this. Yet despite the way he was talking, there was the burgeoning hopefulness welling up inside him. Maybe Tony had been right. Maybe this was the life Steve wanted. He seemed to be leaning that way, too. With a little nudge, Tony got you around the other side of the car, and he opened the door for you. Though before you moved to sit, the two of you looked at Steve one last time. Tony was the one to ask. “You alright?” 

Steve just smiled at the both of you. “Yeah. I’m home.” 

                                                              ---

The drive away was quiet. This wasn’t forever. You still worked for the Avengers. And like you’d told everyone else that you’d said it to, the both of you would still be around. Maybe not immediately, though. You thought perhaps a vacation was in order. A true celebration to kicking off this strange idea that the two of you could be on your own. Live a life. 

Your hand reached over to take his. Almost a little possessively. Tony Stark was yours. For now… for now the earth needed to back off. Stop laying claim to his genius. His efforts. His heroism. You wanted him. You needed him. 

You wanted to be with him. And finally… finally just live. 

His smile caught you sideways, and you felt like you might melt right onto the floor. He was clearly thinking the same thing as you, with a look like that. So warm and intense. So full of that deep love. You had to put a stop to it. Or you might have to pull over. “What do you wanna do for your birthday?” 

Tomorrow. Tomorrow was his birthday. He could do anything now. He was free. What did Tony Stark want to do? 

“Let’s find a house.” 

At this point you’d started smiling so hard it hurt. “A house, huh?” 

“Plot of land. House. Whatever. I want the present I’ve been asking for for years. As long as you’re ready to give it to me.” 

Shifting over you laid your lips on his cheek, felt the stretch there as his smile got the better of him. Your murmur was careful, but sweet. “I’m ready.”