#but so I had just been there two days ago on the 16th and we went on the 18th and one new cat was there

[alloutshirt]

disclaimer : this is a personal life vent look away

shouldn’t be sharing this but i need to take it off my brain (wow reading it back it really sounds like i lost my mind but unfortunately it’s all true and not all of it fits in 30 tags lmaooo)

[tiredsadpeach]

May not feel great rn but tomorrow I get to see my best friend and we’re exchanging gifts and then afterward I’m going with my sister to pick up a cat

[lethalchiralium]

I NEED A GHOST FANFIC WHERE WE FALL IN LOVE WITH GHOST AND WINNIE AND IT SHOWS THEIR RELATIONSHIP ABD MORE!!! OMG I LOVE YOUR WRITING SO MUCH 🫶🫶🫶🫶

Dear Winter | Simon “Ghost” Riley x F!Reader

a/n: my first 2023 post! happy new year!!! thank you for requesting and being patient - this took a while lol. it might not be what you want but i literally could not NOT write this. it would be illegal.

song reference: Dear Winter by AJR

summary: Simon had to find a toy for Winnie, but discovers what finally pushes him over the edge to confess his love for you.

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Simon didn’t feel like he should’ve been searching in his attic for a mindless little toy that Winnie wanted. He had packed it away when he recognized that she didn’t like it anymore, but now it’s all she’ll talk about. The goddamn elephant that he bought at the hospital when she was born - it was before he was able to see her. It sang “Twinkle Twinkle Little Star” and he put in a voice recording of himself saying, “I love you, Winnie.”

All Winnie ever wanted was the bear that Price had gotten her, the little green bear that did nothing but stare lifelessly. Now it was “I want Ellie, Daddy. I want Ellie!” all day and night, and his poor nanny was doing her best to keep Winnie entertained - which wasn’t enough, apparently.

He opened another plastic tub, placing the lid on the box beside it. It was full of Winnie’s baby clothes, ranging from frilly dresses to onesies. He dug through it, but still not seeing the pink elephant. He huffed in frustration, slamming the lid back on the tub and pulled it away, revealing another tub just like it.

This one was full of photos, which were of Winnie, him, and you specifically. Special milestones like when it was Winnie’s first steps, his eyes wide as he watched Winnie take her first steps. Or the picture in front of your family’s Christmas tree, the year he needed your help to figure out Christmas. Winnie sat on his shoulders and your arm around his back, his girls’ smiles large as his eyes were only visible from his cloth balaclava.

His girls.

His thumb swiped at your bubbly smile on the picture, a smile of his own now on his face.

He had fallen for you that Christmas. Spending more time with you than Winnie, since your three brothers kept the little one occupied for most of the trip. He had found you fascinating, you never pushed an answer from him, choosing to let him understand you first. He had very reluctantly allowed you to hug him, rest your head on his shoulder, and tried his best not to flinch when you grabbed his hand. That was two years ago - he was so far down the rabbit hole that he had convinced himself that you were just being friendly. He figured out later that you had a crush on him.

Simon sighed, beginning to move the large cluster of pictures out of the box and onto the floor when a folded piece of paper tumbled across the floor. He grunted in annoyance, dropping the pictures onto the spot next to him before stretching and reaching out for the paper, grasping it in his fingers. He was ready to toss it into the box when he looked back into it, only seeing old notebooks of his from when he was a kid. He thumbed the piece of paper, seeing a date that he remembered well.

If he was a little bit less tired of his daughter’s constant pleading for a toy he was very sure was in her room, he might have thrown the folded paper in the box again, shoving all of the picture on top of it. If he was a little more awake, he would’ve buried the paper at the bottom of the box - but it was something he had thought about for a few weeks.

It was an old assignment he had done in school as a teenager, on his 16th birthday when he used the last of his happiness and sanity to do the one assignment he really wanted to. Write a letter to someone in the future.

He tucked the piece of paper and the Christmas photo in his pocket, shoving the photos back in the box - he decided Winnie could wait another day for that stupid elephant. He slid the lid back on the tub and made his way back to the attic entrance. He quickly climbed down, pushing the ladder back up with one arm. It clicked into place and he turned away, making his way downstairs. He heard the thunderous footsteps of his daughter before she ran in front of him, her blanket tied around her shoulders as she held up her green bear. He watched her go by as she made the noise of an airplane, disappearing into the living room.

He looked back to where she came from, seeing a glimpse of you moving out of the playroom and into the front room. Simon then followed his daughter, walking into the living room as she then noisily made her way into the kitchen. He didn’t mind, he always hated noise but hearing his daughter have fun was an exception. Every noise his daughter made assured him that she was still alive, his worst fear was losing Winnie. He swiftly sat down on the couch, pulling out the folded piece of paper.

His fingers moved the flimsy paper to open, and it was like he was transported back in time.

Dear Winter,

I hope you like your name. I hope they don't make fun of you when you grow up and go to school, okay? 'Cause Winter is a badass name.

I hope you talk to girls or boys or anyone you like, I just hope you don't stay in every night. 'Cause I wish I was out tonight.

I hope you like your name. I'm hoping that someday, I can meet you on this earth.

I hope you like this letter. Even when you're thirteen and you scream at me for parenting you wrong.

I still hope you like your name. You know I cannot wait to teach you how to curse.

But Winter, please don’t move too far away. And please don't say I'm hovering when I call you to ask about your day.

I wanna hear about your day.

Will we still hang out and talk when I'm no longer in charge?

Winter, I hope you like your name. I hope you let me take a shot with you on your 21st.

He remembered writing this at a small park near his childhood home, turning it in the same day and hoping his teacher wouldn’t talk to him about it. He remembered forcing this piece of paper at the bottom of his bag when he got it back so his father wouldn’t see it, so his brother wouldn’t either and mock him. He had walked into his house, rushing through the hallway to the kitchen where his mother was humming.

“Mum,” He had said, she looked up from the food she was mixing in a bowl and smiled at him. He remembered how vibrant her dark blonde hair was, how his eyes matched hers - how her smile could instantly change his mood. He was a mama’s boy. “I got an A on my assignment.”

She set down her whisk and batted the flour off of her hands onto her apron, moved around the counter as he dug into his bag and handed her the folded paper.

Simon Riley would never forget how his mother had kneeled in front of him, held his hands and whispered, “I can’t wait to meet Winnie, I can’t wait for you to find someone who loves you even more than I do, Simon. You’ll be a good husband, a good father one day. You’ll always be better than him.” She had settled her hands on his face, wiping his tears as she said, “You’ll find her.”

He had planned to call his first daughter Winter, her name staying the same for a nickname. But, he now called his daughter, ‘Winnie’, so that it was like his mother was in his daughter’s life.

Dear Winter, I'm looking for your mom.

I gotta find a girl that doesn't mind that I'm inside my head a lot.

Winter, it won't be too long.

First, I just gotta find your mom.

“Simon.”

He looked up and locked eyes with you, seeing your wide smile as your hands settled on your hips.

“Did you find it?”

He didn’t register your words, he just gazed at you. He folded the letter that he had wrote when he was sixteen, the only thing he would’ve ever had hope for was love. That all his teenage self wanted, a family to love and be loved by.

Did you find it? You said.

He wanted to hand you that letter. He wanted you to read the most vulnerable thing he’s ever created - he knew he shouldn’t. But fuck, he wanted to. He shoved the letter into his pocket, and calmly spoke, “No.”

Your face fell, looking deep in thought before you said, “You checked everything up there? I could’ve sworn I went through her whole room…” You began to mumble to yourself as Simon held out his right hand towards you. You immediately stopped talking, gaze looking to his hand then to his masked face. “What?”

He turned his palm towards the ceiling, as if he was asking for your hand. You looked back down at his hand before placing yours on his large palm. He gently curled his fingers around your soft skin and pulled you towards him. You sort of stumbled forwards, your knees now hit the front of the couch and his thighs ghosted the side of yours. His other hand came to gently hold your empty one that was settled by your side.

He could feel your heartbeat quicken as his finger pressed into your wrist. His own heart was beating so fast that he thought he wouldn’t be able to go through with this.

Did you find it?

The picture of you three? Yes, and it made him pull the letter out again. He bit the inside of his cheek before placing it in your palm.

“What is this?” You curiously asked, he gestured for you to open it. He let go of you then, allowing you to read the letter.

His heart was in overdrive as he watched you read it, eyebrows sort of furrowed.

“You asked me if I found it. I didn’t find what Winter wanted, but what I wanted. Want.”

You read the last line and looked up at Ghost, gasping as you now saw his maskless face. His brown eyes watched yours trace his face, commit it to memory. And your right hand reached out, ghosting the skin of his cheek before his own hand pressed it down, his face leaned into your touch. You memorized every white scar, the way his lips curved, his jaw - he was beautiful.

“Tell me if I’m wrong.”

His hand pulled yours from his face, allowing his other hand to place a folded photo on your palm. You took it and opened it, staring at it.

It was the one Christmas that Simon and Winnie had spent with your family. You were looking up at Winnie as the little two year old sat on Simon’s shoulders. She was reaching for you, and then you looked at him in the picture. Even with the balaclava on and his face turned, you could clearly see that he was gazing at you.

Your gaze looked up to Simon again, still amazed at how beautiful he was. You knew him for almost four years, and this was the first time you have ever seen his face. Your heart skipped a few beats as his hand grazed your hip.

Your hand rested on his shoulder, he spoke again. “You. You are what I want.” His other hand settled on your waist, sort of coaxing you closer to him. He took a deep breath and leaned forward, resting his forehead against your stomach. Your hand moved from his shoulders to his dirty blond hair, you gazed down at it as he continued. “I didn’t always want to be a dad, I didn’t want to be after what happened to my family. But when Grace told me that she was pregnant, I ran. I ran away like a fuckin’ coward.” His arm moved from your hip up to hold the small of your back. “I…cared for her, I did. And when she died, I was surprised that I didn’t feel anything about it. Because I had to put all of my focus and strength in my daughter, the same thing you do while I’m gone.” He looked up at you now, his eyes meeting yours. “I care for you. And I can’t go a day without thinking of you.”

“Simon…”

“Please, tell me.” His hands pushed into your skin just a little more. “Tell me if I’m wrong and I will leave you be.”

You stared at him. You would have never expected any sort of confession from him, ever. He was the type to bottle everything up until he rots in a casket - not the type to say what he felt. And to be honest, your heart and stomach both fell from your body. You had pushed that ‘harmless’ crush all the way down into your soul, and here he comes- ripping layers of protection out of your heart and soul.

Your eyes darted to his lips then back up to his beautiful eyes, your thumb gently threaded across the short hair on the back of his head.

“Love me, Simon Riley.”

Oh Winter, I have already found your mom.

———

Copyright © 2023 lethalchiralium. All rights reserved.

[accihoe]

Case Study 1

Pairing: detective!Bucky x doctor!reader

Summary: Prologue of how the geneticist and the detective met.

Warnings: Angst (in chapters to come)

A/u: 80s (Starts off in late 70s)

A/n: Howdy. Same drill; PLEASE DON'T STEAL MY WORK. God bless.

xxx

August 31, 1979

"Barnes." Stark acknowledges as he walks into the detective's office. "Stark." James says, removing his glasses and laying them on his brown desk. "Here are the evidence forms. We contacted Doctor Banner, but he's caught up in something. So, in place, he's sending his brightest intern." Tony states, sitting on the desk. "An intern?" James sighs, rubbing his cheeks. "Apparently she's good." Tony shrugs, lighting his cigar. "No smokin' in here. Ma complains about the smell." James waves away the smoke. Tony rolls his eyes and walks to the door. "You two start Monday, September 3rd." With that, Tony leaves.

September 3rd, 1979

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Doctor, I'm detective Steven Rogers." Bucky hears Steve as he walks into the building. "The pleasure is all mine, detective. I'm Doctor Y/N Y/L/N." Y/N smiles warmly, shaking Steve's hand. "Doctor? I thought you were a novice." James states as he walks in, and Steve shakes his head with a quiet sigh. "I'm a Probationer, actually. Mr Barnes Junior." Y/N states. "Is that so?" James asks, lighting his cigar. "Indeed. However I lean more towards the science in genetics than medical practice." She says. "Very well. Well now that we've passed the introduction phase let's get to the case, shall we?" Barnes changes the subject. "Yes of course." Y/N smiles. James feels his heart jolt at her warm smile, so he returns it.

September 21st, 1979

"You're aware that the case ended like a week ago, right?" Sam Wilson asks, slipping his coat over his shoulders. "Oh we're very aware. Doctor Y/L/N is just helping me uncover more family schemes and suspect. Because she's a genius and all." Barnes shrugs. "Right. And that's why she's sitting on your desk." Sam says as he leans against his colleague's doorframe. "Goodnight Sam. Take care." Y/N smiles and singsongs. Sam sighs and shakes his head as he leaves, and once his back is turned to them he allows the smile to take over his face.

November 16th, 1979

"Buck, can I ask you something?" Y/N looks over at James, tucking a strand of overgrown hair behind his ear. "Ask away, doc." He smiles, looking down at the filed paperwork on his lap. "How would you like to meet my family?" She hums, twirling his hair between her fingertips. "Isn't it a bit soon, dollface?" He asks, finally looking at her. "I don't think so. For all they know we could've been together since September 3rd." She states calmy. Bucky smiles at his girl, taking her hand into his. "They're going to swoon over you. Trust me. Just brace yourself for questions. They have loads of them. About anything and everything." She says. James laughs, tilting his head to the side. "I can't wait to meet them. When and where do we go?" Bucky is quick to shift closer, intrigued and excited.

They shared their first kiss over New Year's. And, 4 months later, Y/N had a shimmering engagement ring adorning her left hand.

September 3rd, 1980

"And do you, James Buchanan Barnes, take Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, to be your lawfully wedded wife?" The pastor asks. "I do." James smiles, more sure about his answer than he's ever been. "And do you, Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N, take James Buchanan Barnes to be your lawfully wedded husband?" The pastor asks. Y/N sucks in a breath of excitement as she looks at all the seated and waiting guests, and then to her almost husband, his beautiful baby blues shining with the utmost love and adoration, "I do.". "You may now kiss the bride." The pastor announces. The crowd cheers and applauds as James dips his wife and kisses her.

"This is so bananas that on this very day, a year ago, we met for the first time. And now we're married." Y/N says dreamily as her husband kisses her knuckles as they sit at the bride and groom table. "Yeah, love acts in mysterious ways." He agrees, feeling himself get physically lost inside her eyes. "I love you, Y/N Y/M/N Barnes." He smiles, eyes scanning over her breath-taking features. "And I love you, James Buchanan Barnes." She hums in agreement. "Tonight I'm exceptionally grateful that Doctor Banner was busy." James smiles. "Want to know a secret?" Y/N whispers. "Always." He whispers. "He wasn't really busy. But I asked to go in his place." Y/N smiles up at her husband. "Wait. What?" He asks, scrunching his nose up as he smiles.

"Well, I wanted to gain experience fairly quickly, and word about NY's hottest detective on the look for a Geneticist came my way, so I pulled a few strings." Y/N admits. "So I have my beautiful wife to thank for this?" Bucky asks with a smile. "And Tony, for allowing a rookie in on a big case." She smiles playfully. "You helped us ace that case." James says in return.

xxx

This will probably just be a mini-series. But I'll see how it does, and decide thereafter.

[sturniologals]

Say it. {M.S}

*AN~ this is a lil long ngl but it is SO worth it i swear. I literally love this sm and i’m willing to write a part two with smut in it but this one is just cutesies and angst and just ughhhh😫

pairing: matt x reader, friends to enemies to lovers (it’s a long ride yall😭)

~warnings~ fluff, cursing

5.1k words

summary: y/n and Matt had an unbreakable bond until y/n’s 16th birthday when an argument took place that changed their dynamic and now, y/n’s 17th birthday is coming up and she really wants her best friend back and the world is working in her favor because Matt ends up offering her driving lessons where feelings are re hatched.

“I told you this wasn’t a good idea” I say to Chris as i hit my forehead on the steering wheel in frustration. 

 “I’m starting to think you’re right. This is the sixth curb you’ve hit in the last 20 minutes.” I turn my head at him and shoot him a snide look. 

“It’s not y/n’s fault that you don’t have the mental capacity to teach her to drive. You can barely drive yourself.” Nick says, shooting up from the backseat. I laugh and put the car into park. 

I slide out of the drivers seat and walk around the car so me and chris can switch spots. 

On the drive home, nick and chris argue over who gets aux and i can’t help but to zone out and think about how i’m turning 17 in less than a month and i still can’t drive, but i’m lucky to have the best friends that i do. Nick especially, he’s always there when i’m going through something, he can always make me laugh when i need it. Chris is just chris. Hes hardly ever serious about anything but when he knows i’m going through something, he always finds the will. And matt… he’s hardly ever around me, and when he is, it’s just side glances full of what i think is hatred. 

It’s been like that ever since my last birthday. My boyfriend at the time, Blake, got mad at me because of matt and I’s friendship. 

Flashback to y/n’s 16th birthday:

 “Oh my god you are oblivious!” blake shouts at me.

 “Can you keep it down?” i say knowing that my family and friends are downstairs waiting for me to cut the cake and blow out my candles and i’m in my room arguing with my boyfriend who i honestly don’t have feelings for anymore. I’m not sure i ever even did. 

Blake runs his hands over his face and i can see the vein in his forehead flexing.

 “Blake what are we even arguing about right now?” I say bored and annoyed, wanting to go back downstairs and see what gift Matt got me.

 I was eavesdropping on Chris and Matt a week ago and heard them talking about how much i’m gonna love what Matt got me.

 “Y/n are you actually that dumb or are you just trying to piss me off?” blake questions me with annoyance and i feel myself shudder at him calling me dumb, reminding me of the words my father would spat at me every day right up until he died. 

“Don’t call me dumb, and i’m not trying to piss you off, i genuinely don’t know why you’ve been mad at me all night.” i try to keep my voice steady, not wanting to cry.

 “Matt” he says in a stern voice as if i’m supposed to know what he’s talking about immediately. 

“What about him?” I say, wondering why he’s mad at me over the person i’m closest to. I’d never tell blake that though. He thinks he knows everything about me but the truth is, Matt has known everything about me since I was ten years old. 

When I scraped my knee while we were riding bikes when i was 12, he gave me bandaids and a shoulder to cry on and after he let me play mario kart with him all day. When i was 14 and got my first boyfriend who broke up with me after a week, Matt was there to call him an idiot and ask if i wanted him to beat him up. So Blake has no place to say anything about Matt, not when he knows how much Matt means to me. 

“Y/n! Did you just hear a word of what i said?” blake says, shocking me back to the present and i realize i’ve zoned out the last thirty seconds. I do that a lot.

 “Uhm no sorry, i zoned out.” I say quietly, not wanting him to yell. He huffs out a breath and shakes his head as if he’s refraining from saying something. 

“You and matt. Did anything happen? ever?” He asks sternly.

 “No! What? No! Why would you-“ I start to list reasons why i don’t like matt like that and never could but i can’t come with any so i stop talking. 

“Why would i think that?” He says, finishing my sentence.

 “Yes blake, why would you think that?” 

“Theirs a million fucking reasons! Oh my god!” 

His face is as red as a strawberry which makes me think of my strawberry cake downstairs that i so desperately want to get back to. But, i also want to know what he’s going to say about Matt, so i suck it up and listen.

 “You’re with him more than your with me, you’re always zoning out and being all sad and shit when your with me but when your with matt- your all fucking giggly and laughing and smiling and actually speaking! I can hardly ever get a word out of you! And hell y/n, even if you don’t see him like that, I can take one peek at the way he looks at you and see that he sure as hell does feel like that about you and I don’t want my girlfriend all cozy with someone who so obviously has feelings for them.”  He finishes off his rant breathlessly, leaving me thinking about a lot of things. Matt, Matthew, Matty, and how much i want to eat some of my birthday cake right now. 

“I don’t know what you want me to say blake” i say truthfully. I don’t even know what i’m feeling, what i’ve felt ever at any point in any time. It’s all too confusing and i’ve decided to collectively ignore this situation and continue to be grateful i have my best friend and a strawberry cake with Jacob Elordi’s face on it waiting on me downstairs.

 “you don’t need to say anything.” He says in a determined voice.

 “Are you breaking up with me? on my birthday?” 

He looks like wants to say yes he is but doesn’t. He just walks in front of me to the door and opens it. I go behind him and standing at the door, is Matt. 

“Great” Blake scoffs and passes Matt up as he heads down the stairs. I can feel the tears swelling in my eyes and I don’t even think it’s because of Blake. I’m almost 99.9 percent sure that it’s because of the pure confusion and panic about what Blake said about Matt. 

“y/n” Matt says in a low voice, he looks as if he wants to reach out and touch me but he doesn’t. 

“Matt” I say with a frown on my face and I immediately fall into the comfort of his arms. His scent smells so comforting as i nuzzle my face into the crook under his chin.

 “How much of that did you hear?” my voice comes out muffled from his hoodie.

 “Enough to know why he broke up with you.” He says quietly as if he’s scared to upset me again. 

“Can we not talk about it?” I say even though i feel like he definitely wants to. 

“Yeah no it’s whatever we don’t have to talk about it. Come blow out your candles, yeah?” he says removing me from his arms and his voice instantly changing to more stern and cold. I haven’t felt like this around Matt since I accidentally let his pet bunny out of its cage and it escaped in the 7th grade. 

“Matt-“ I start to tell him that we can talk about it, that i think i have feelings for him but i’m confused, that i love him and i just don’t want anything to change- but i don’t. I let my voice falter as he walks down the stairs. I follow behind after getting myself together for a few moments. 

The whole time while we’re cutting the cake and i blow out my candles and then I open up my last gift, Matt’s eyes are trained to be anywhere that’s not on me. His normal semi- talkative self has now changed to a silent, closed off one. 

After i sit down the digital camera that nick got me, I wait for Matt to pull out the gift that he and chris thought i would love. He never does, and I don’t question it. I watch chris nudge Matt on the arm and Matt shake his head, a movement so subtle that i wouldn’t have seen it unless i hadn’t been staring at Matt endlessly the whole last hour. 

Present- 

 “Y/n, hey, helloooo, hiii” Nicks voice brings me back out of the memory. 

“Yep, right here. Sorry.” I say as i unbuckle my seat and get out of the car. Matt has continued to be cold towards me ever since that day and i don’t think i’m ever going to be used to it. It’s not like he’s mean to me but i feel like he doesn’t care. Anytime i try to interact with him, he acts as if he’s not interested in what i have to say so i’ve stopped trying with him. I don’t know why he switched up all of a sudden and everyday i miss my bestfriend, anytime something bad happens, I always go back to the old familiar feeling of wanting to run to Matt and tell him what happened, and i have to refrain from doing so. It always hurts, but I know it’s for the better. 

Nick unlocks the front door and me and Chris follow in after him. 

I kick my sneakers off at the door and I find myself looking for Matt.

 “Matts around here somewhere. He said he had to stay home to study.” Nick says as if he read my mind. 

“Matt? studying? No way.” Chris retorts while sitting down at the kitchen island with a bag of popcorn. 

“What’s he doing?” I ask, stealing a piece of popcorn from Chris and popping it into my mouth.

 “Hell if I know.” Nick says while pouring some trix cereal into a bowl. 

“Why don’t you go see what he’s up to?” Chris asks me and nick looks at him as if he’s just asked me to kick a puppy. 

“Okay” i say, trying to appear as unbothered as possible but the truth is i’m really excited to talk to Matt. 

I quickly jog up the stairs and reach the door to Matt’s room that i barely ever pass through anymore. I take a deep breath in and Knock twice. 

“It’s me” I say loudly so he can hear. 

“Come in” Matt shouts from behind the door. I slowly open the door and see Matt sitting at his desk playing a game with his headset on. Half of the headset is pushed back behind his ear so he can see me. He turns around in his swivel chair and stares at me like he’s waiting for me to ask him something. We never did need a reason to talk to each other, we just did. And today, nostalgia has been eating at me so I make the decision to blurt out 

“I miss you”, I say it so quickly that my brain doesn’t process it till seconds later.

 “Uhm sorry I don’t know why i said that- well, no i do know why i said that. I said it because I miss you but i know it’s odd because i said it out of nowhere but nostalgias been getting to me all day-“ I sit down on the edge of his bed. “And i don’t know I just wanted to tell you i miss you- and Matt and Chris took me driving today and I hit four curbs. FOUR Matt. I’m never going to get my license.” I say the last part into one of matts fuzzy blue pillows.

 I let out a groan and throw my hands back. 

Matt’s silence makes me turn my head towards him. He’s just staring at me, smiling-no, he’s cheesing. Matt hasn’t looked at me like that in almost a year. We haven’t talked like this an almost a year.

 “What?” I say with a chuckle and i feel my cheeks heat up and a familiar feeling i always get in my stomach when i’m around Matt comes back.  

“Nothing, i just missed hearing you talk” His voice grew quieter at the last few words, as if they accidentally slipped out. 

My breath hitches and thoughts run through my mind. I want to tell him that i’d talk until my voice goes out, that i want him to make me yell until my voice doesn’t goes out. All the ways he could shut me up makes my stomach turn and my hands go clammy. 

“Oh” is all i can manage. He smiles at me and turns back to his desk.

 “I’m gonna take you driving tomorrow. Be ready at 4, i’ll come get you.” He says while putting his headset back on.  

I can’t help but to be utterly shocked at him saying he wants to take me driving. Matt volunteering to spend time with me. I’m happily surprised. 

As i walk out of his room, I can see him still smiling through the reflection on his computer. 

I shut the door behind me and walk downstairs to tell Chris and nick about the breakthrough i just made.

 “Yup I told you guys i was gonna get him back in the groove of y/n!” i say smiling and gesturing at myself. 

“What the fuck, don’t do that again” Nick says and we all burst out into laughter.

 “See you tomorrow y/n” Chris says as he shuts the door behind me and i walk across the street to my house that sits directly in-front of them.  

I tell my mom about how Matt’s taking me driving tomorrow and she smiles and tells me she’s happy that we’re talking again and I go up to my room and fall asleep thinking about Matt and how he said he missed hearing me talk. I can’t help but to feel desire grow in my stomach and the wanting to slip my hands into my underwear and relieve some of the pressure but i fall asleep before my thoughts continue. 

The next day, I wake up and find the blue sundress that sits right above my knees, I know Matt loves this dress. He bought it for me last Christmas. I pair it with a pair of tan sandals and once i hear the horn of Matt’s car, i walk down stairs and out the door. 

I see Matt in his car, one elbow propped against the console and his other hand on the wheel, he’s wearing a black t shirt that lets all of his tattoos be shown. My god, he’s had to have gotten more since the last time i’ve saw his arm. I think I have a thing for Matt’s tattoos. I’ve always wanted to run my mouth along every one of them and watch Matt squirm underneath me. 

His jaw is tense and his eyes impossibly blue in the sunlight shining through. 

“Are you gonna get in?” Matt says rolling the passenger window down so he can talk to me. I move from my position on the sidewalk and get into the car. 

The scent of leather and coffee instantly hits my nostrils and even in this weather, I can’t help but to feel cold at Matt’s switch in behavior. 

I slide into the passenger seat and Matt’s hands reach over and slide my seatbelt across my chest, his knuckles grazing my chest sending shivers through me. He buckles it in and clears his throat before switching in the ignition. 

“Matt?” I utter out whilst his focus is fully on the road ahead. 

“Yeah, y/n?” he says softly, almost an apologetic tone after his first one when he pulled up. 

“Nothing, nevermind.” I say, trying to think of a subject change because I’ve decided to take good Matt while i can get him. 

He looks at me as if he knows what i was going to say but he doesn’t pressure it. 

“So i thought we’d get something to eat then we could go to the college parking lot and practice?” Matt asks while turning the radio on, keeping it low. 

“Uh…yeah,sure” I say, feeling like old times but not. I feel the remains of our friendship, just as strong as it was 11 months ago but now, the tension in the car is enough to smother me. 

We drive the 3 minute drive to downtown in silence but I keep catching Matt stealing glances at me. I keep noticing his eyes scanning across my legs, skimming over my dress. It’s enough to force me to cross my legs, not because i’m uncomfortable but because i’m desperate to relieve some of the tension.

We park into the restaurant Matt brought us to, my heart palpitates once I realize just where he brought us. It’s not a restaurant, it’s a diner. It was our favorite place to go to the last few summers. Matt and I would come out here every weekend and get a banana milkshake and share a slice of cherry pie. 

“Aw Matt you must not hate me completely!” I say sarcastically as i slap his shoulder playfully and get out of the car. Matt gets out and follows behind me up the sidewalk and I feel his hand on my lower back.

 “I don’t hate you at all y/n.” He says quietly from beside me.

“It’s more complicated than that” He says before ruffling my hair and picking up his pace to get in front of me to open the glass door to the diner.

 When i walk in, in front of him, I don’t say anything and just immediately head for the booth in the corner we always sat at. The red leather booths and white tables are all still the same, the dim lights barely doing anything although they don’t necessarily need to considering the summer sun lights up the place all by its self.  

Matt sits down in front of me, sliding into the booth with ease. The waitress almost immediately comes up behind us. “Jill!” i say happily not knowing that she still worked here, she’s worked here since we were kids and was always the sweetest. 

“Y/n and Matt… why haven’t i seen you two in here in so long?” she says, her wrinkles more apparent now from the last time i saw her, the gray in her hair showing more. 

“Oh uh” I start stuttering, not knowing what to say 

“Sorry jill, y/n got diagnosed with lactose intolerance. She kept farting so we stopped coming in here!” Matt says smiling deviously. 

“That- that is-“ I start to protest but stop. “That’s right. Yup, blew my britches away!” I say laughing towards jill but side eyeing Matt with all i could muster. Jill smiles and nods but looks suspicious. 

“So what’ll it be?” she asks us, her pen and pad ready. 

“Two banana shakes with extra cherries and a piece of cherry pie.” Matt says quickly, ordering the exact order we always got. 

Jill arches a brow. “I thought you said she’s lactose int-“ she starts to question but I cut her off. 

“Oh just for old times sake! i’m taking a stomach pill too, i’ll be fine” i say giving her my cheesiest grin. She nods in agreement and walks away with our order. 

As soon as she’s a few feet away Matt breaks out laughing. 

“Seriously?!?” I say trying to act mad knowing i secretly want to laugh too. 

Matt rolls his eyes at my obvious dramatics and leans up towards the table, resting his elbows on it. “So how bad are you at driving? You gonna wreck us immediately?” He asks with a smirk that i know all too well. 

“Yeah haha so funny.” I snark back. 

“You didn’t answer the question.” He says with raised eyebrows, waiting on my answer. 

“No i’m not gonna wreck us…immediately.” I say the last word a bit quieter. 

“hey i’m joking, i know you probably suck right now but that’s because you haven’t had one teach you that actually knows how to fucking drive. You’ll catch onto it fast. You always have been a quick learner” he says in a more serious tone. I notice his hand is not even an inch away from my mine and i jerk my hand back quickly. My movement makes his eyebrows jerk up and he looks like he’s about to say something but he stops when jill appears back with our shakes. 

“Just a minute on the pie” she says smiling while handing us the pale yellow shakes with whipped cream and a two cherries on top. 

We take our shakes and start to sip on them when jill walks off.

 “Mmm” he moans in delight. 

“Good?” i ask him smiling.

“yep” he says while chewing on the straw. 

It’s silent for a moment as we just stare at each other. We haven’t held eye contact this long in months. My loud mouth just has to break the silence tho.

 “Hey Matt, can i ask you something?” I can see something in his eyes change, he looks unsettled. Like he’s scared of  the un-knowingness of what i’m gonna ask. 

After he hums in agreement I muster up the courage to ask him. “Can we-“ i take a deep breath in. After a moment of him looking at me, as if he’s begging me to just say it. I chicken out. Like a fucking coward. I don’t want the pie anymore, i’m not hungry, i just want to go. “Can we go?” i say, stiffening my body. Matt’s face falls in disappointment and nods his head. 

I watch him as he tells jill to put the pie in a box and he pays the bill before walking out in front of me without so much as looking at me.

I walk out behind him and I notice it’s going to storm soon. Clouds are forming and the sky is darkening so i get to the car quickly. I slide into the passenger seat, Matt throws the buckle over me quickly without touching me and i can tell his nostrils are flared like he’s angry but i choose not to say anything. 

Again, I leave all of my feelings bottled up because i’m too scared of saying anything i feel. 

We drive in silence and the only noise is the traffic surrounding us and the patter of my foot bouncing in anxiety. We get to the parking lot and thank goodness it’s mostly empty so theirs not much i could hit. 

For a moment, it’s silent and Matts eyes dart over to mine and with the way he looks, I can’t tell if he’s about to cry, yell, or run away. It’s such a fragile situation and I don’t know what to do. Only to wait and see what he says. 

“y/n…” He breathes out a sigh but his eyes flinch and he sits up straight. “Uh nevermind let’s get started, it’s about to rain.” He cannot be serious. I need him to say it because i’m too afraid to and I know. I know i’m selfish, I know i’m a coward but i still push at him. 

“No, matt what was you gonna say?” I turn my body to his and I grab his wrist away from the ignition. His eyes shoot down to where i’m holding onto him but I don’t move, i keep my hand over his.

 “I said never fucking mind” each word coming out like a needle against my skin. I can tell he sees the hurt in my eyes because his eyes quickly softens. 

“I’m sorry” he says quietly, and i can see the conflict in his eyes. I want to know what’s going on in his head so fucking bad.

 “No wait, i’m not sorry.” as he says this, the rain starts pattering against the windshield but I don’t move my eyes away from his.  

“what?” i say, i’m not angry, just confused. I want him to let me in. I need him to let me in.

“Forget i said anything, I can’t have this conversation with you.” He says, shaking his head.

 “Great it’s fucking raining! Now we can’t have our driving lessons because I don’t think you could drive on a normal road- hardly a wet one” He shouts, not at me, but at the wheel.

 I don’t get hurt at his words because I can tell he’s not mad about the lesson, he’s not mad because i suck at driving but because we both want to say it but we don’t know the other one does. I’m almost completely sure Matt has feelings for me but i’m so scared that he doesn’t, that i stay silent. I think he feels the same way. I get the frustration. I’ve felt it too, although i think he’s felt it for much longer. 

“Matt” I coo, bringing my hand up to the side of his neck. He immediately jerks away and starts to open the door. 

“Fuck y/n, don’t touch me.” he spats out before quickly getting out of the car and stepping into the pouring rain that has tremendously picked up over the last two minutes. I quickly follow behind him and open the door. 

“Matt, it’s pouring! Get back in the car!” I shout, trying to speak loud enough so that he can hear me over the rain.

We both are standing in front of the car, only maybe a foot and a half away from each other. 

“say it Matt” I say sternly, feeling tears brew in my eyes. Matt only shakes his head no and looks as if he’s struggling to breathe. 

“No y/n, I want to hear you. You fucking say it. Stop being such a coward y/n.” 

I feel tears fall but i don’t think he can tell because of the raindrops also falling onto my face. 

“Matt do you understand how much i’ve missed you? You were my best friend” I say, now sobbing and putting my heads on my head, moving my feet around taking small steps. 

 “You left me. You’ve looked at me like you’ve hated me ever since my sixteenth birthday and you’ve never even had the audacity to tell me why!” I shout at him.  

Matt’s eyes grow huge and he looks so frustrated. “You cannot be serious. Do you seriously not know why?!” I flinch at how loud he’s yelling but shake my head no slowly

“My god y/n, I couldn’t be around you, not after-“ he stops.

 i shake my head in confusion. “What Matt?! after what?!” 

“After you told me that you didn’t want to fucking talk about the fact that i’m in love with you! You didn’t care about me. Or my feelings, you didn’t care that i’d suffer just because you didn’t want our friendship to change. Hell, you could’ve at least rejected me and moved on but y/n…i couldn’t be just your friend. Not after that. So yes, i kept away. Also, for fucks sake, i wasn’t looking at you with hatred. Anytime you’d come into view, it made me want to curl up into a fucking ball and never come out because I had to look at you and know that i could never have you. Do you know how much that fucking hurts?!” 

The rain pouring down coating Matt’s brown hair making it droop down onto his forehead makes it hard to read his expression but I can still tell what he’s feeling right now. I always have been able to just know.

“Matt- You have got to believe me when i tell you i didn’t know. I didn’t know, even on my birthday when Blake said all of that, yes i thought you might’ve just found me attractive sometimes or something, but i didn’t want to talk about it because i thought you was embarrassed and it would be awkward or- fuck i don’t know. But Matt-“ I start laughing, unable to contain how funny i find the absolutely ironic situation we’re in right now. 

“You find this funny?” he asks me

“No, No- actually well- it kind of is because- Matt I love you, so fucking much and ever since you stopped being my best friend, i had to see you and it was complete and total agony because like you said earlier- i’m a coward Matt. And i’ve been completely oblivious to the way you’ve felt about me and i didn’t want things to change- so I didn’t say anything. But now I’m telling you, I miss you and I love you and I don’t want to be your friend Matt. “  

I finish off breathlessly, panting, trying to draw in air without the droplets of rain. 

Matt comes closer and places his hands on the sides of me head before moving the wet hair off of my face.

 “I think that we are both fucking idiots and waisted eleven months of what could’ve been filled with this” And then his lips are crashing onto mine, the kiss is rough and desperate as Matt tugs and nips on my lips with his teeth. His lips are soft and pillowy like I’ve always thought they would be. I can’t help but to think about how long i’ve wanted this, how long ever both wanted this. It feels just as good, and right, as i thought it would. 

After a few more moments, Matt pulls away, leaving a mix of saliva and rain on my lips. 

“Let’s go before we get pneumonia” Matt says laughing as he pulls me towards his car. 

I slide into the passenger seat, my dress dripping and my hair plastered to my skin with rain. Matt gets in and reaches over to buckle my seatbelt. I smile at the gesture and he rolls his eyes before turning on the ignition. 

“Will you still take me out driving tomorrow?” I ask. 

“Yeah of course” he says as he starts to back out, placing his right arm on the headrest of my seat and turning his neck back to see out the back window. The sight makes me shift in my seat. His veins in his arms are drool worthy and the way his clothes are sticking to him, really helps my imagination.

 “y/n” he deadpans, turning back around. 

“Hm?” I ask, snapping out of my thoughts. 

“your staring.” he says, smirking. 

“i’m allowed to.” I say smiling. 

“Since when?” He asks while pulling out of the parking lot. 

“since you became my boyfriend.” I say smiling dramatically. 

“Oh yeah? what do i get?” Matt asks smirking. 

“Hmm, we’ll see.” I shrug. 

[sagaschan]

What happened on Sep 16th: a compilation

If I could clarify some things. Lots happened on twitter within a short timeframe, and I've seen a fair number of people misled, so here goes. The Project Moon User Association(PMUA) had received the reply to their demand letter(can only be received by the recipient, and can't be refused) a week ago, but waited to make their statement because they still believed there was a chance PM could apologize, and because the Youth Union(YU) requested it. PMUA uploaded PM's reply and their statement today.

PM's reply, written by a lawyer, said essentially: You are lying and it affected our sales so I will sue you. The termination was legal because Vellmori said first that she wanted to resign(we have a recording). We wrote the agreement with Vellmori and her lawyer later. In order to protect her and the other employees we did nothing(if that sounds illogical to you, it is). Disappear immediately or we will sue you for defamation.

There are many things wrong with the reply, as covered by the PMUA's statement, but I'll get to that later. Alright let's go for it, says the PMUA.

Then PM tweets two threads. The first thread says: We were only laying low to protect our employees, y'all are lying, if you attack our employees we will sue you. The second one says: The YU tried to use us for political gains, since we were going to announce legal action against employee harrassment anyway but they tried to take the credit for it. Look at this image of a document where YU says they were wrong, and apologizes. This PMUA might be under the YU's control, isn't it suspicious? And political?

PM, though technically it's KJH, keeps insinuating that those such as PMUA and the YU are attacking the employees, when it's only KJH himself who's been criticized since 7.25, when he tweeted that they had 'terminated the contract' with Vellmori for violating company rules. The fans knew that was illegal. The paper that interviewed Vellmori the day after, the various news media that reached out to PM, the unions that spoke out on the matter knew it was illegal. We weren't going to let him get away with it if we could help it.

The YU rep Lee Jongchan(@JCLEE0333 on twitter) provided a more accurate picture. The YU, having just learned of the agreement between Vellmori and PM from PM's reply, had asked the PMUA to delay their statement, contacted PM behind the scenes. The PMUA and the unions they were working with had been trying to solve the situation amicably if possible, if PM would just come to the table and learn how to fix the situation. A legal fight would be the absolute last resort, since they wanted the company to do better.

This is where the supposed statement from the YU that PM included in their second thread comes in. A crude screencap of a word doc with typos and 'draft' in the title. It says: We recognize there was no illegal firing and that you've taken precautions to protect employees. We're sorry and we retract our protest. We welcome that you've stated ideology hunts and cyberbullying against your employees will be dealt with stern legal action. Basically, the YU didn't want Vellmori to be bothered anymore so they'd take a bit of a L.

The thing is, during the negotiations KJH refused to include that PM would take legal action to protect employees from ideology hunts and cyberbullying in the future in PM's statement. Apparently that wasn't something he could agree with. Negotiations fell out(around 8 pm, according to KJH), and the next day PMUA went ahead with their statement.

That's the bare facts of it. But I'd like to elaborate a little on where PM is contradicting itself, though the PMUA has already covered some of it.

1. It's laughable that KJH is using the excuse of 'protecting employees' to explain PM's past actions and future motivations, when he can't even put it on paper.

2. He most definitely did not protect his employees. The initial lack of action against DCinside incels' camping out of their office, how he treated contractors like Mimi(author of Wonderlab) and Monggeu(artist for Leviathan comics), the overwork and harrassment Eng translator Watson experienced, the HHPP manager he used as a scapegoat, the LoR Chinese localization team that still hasn't been paid... the list keeps growing.

3. KJH's words are all over the place. In the very first notice he says Vellmori's contract has been terminated because she violated company rules. You know, just as DC had asked for. In the second one, on 8.3, he says they did not fire her, and that it had nothing to do with ideologies. And that he would sue anyone calling it an illegal dismissal. (Also when news media reached out to ask if that meant she was still employed, said he wouldn't answer.) And in the most recent letter, he claims that during the phone call on 7.25 Vellmori said first she would resign.

Nobody believes that, not in the least because the Hankyoreh interviewed Vellmori the very next day about the unjustness of it. Any 'recording' of the call that he posits as evidence will likely reflect that, and work against him in court, so I'd love to see that actually. KJH apparently doesn't remember that.

4. Can you believe he's fudging his words to make it seem like the PMUA and those associated were the ones attacking employees? Not a single mention of DC anywhere. Now in court, if he's required to provide evidence as to just why Vellmori wanted to resign, well... DC did that. That's undeniable. All this started with wetsuit Ishmael, if anyone's forgotten. And if he admits DC was the reason a perfectly innocent illustrator was left jobless overnight, well, he can do away with his insistence that he was protecting her in any way.

5. And even if he twists legalese to claim Vellmori left of her own volition, it's nothing that hasn't been said by employers in the country a million times over. Advisory resignation this, political controversy that. It's still an unfair dismissal, and an especially rampant problem in the game industry that has been a long time coming to be dealt with.

6. Remember when KJH threatened Mimi and Monggeu with the mention of NDA, when they came out with stories of how they were horrifically mistreated by PM? Hypocritical, just revealing private correspondence with the YU without their permission. As well as the ridiculousness of treating the remnants of a negotiation that fell through like fact. He thinks people can't read, I suppose. It's more ammunition for the unions.

7. The inherent idiocy of evilmongering about 'politics' all thread long. What does KJH think unions Do? He's been fueling the fire regarding a labor rights case for near two months now, but doesn't seem to have learned much other than to dig deeper holes. What he means to do by repeatedly insinuating the PMUA and YU are secretly in cahoots when the PMUA has been open about working with the YU from the start I will never know.

8. Refusing to translate The Notice for 53 days was the first and biggest hint, I think. The radio silence, purposefully leaving international fans in the dark, threatening the contractors, the staunch refusal to name the incels for a single offense. During that time we learned Monggeu had been fired just as quickly as Vellmori, after being made to follow an unrealistic schedule to the point she had suicidal ideation. The workplace reviews in the wake of the incident saying KJH was prone to emotional outbursts. All the translators worked to the bone and abandoned, HHPP's manager announcing an apology with his name for decisions he couldn't have made. Those aren't the actions of someone who has his employees in mind.

The PMUA was created in response to PM's announcement to sue fans back in August. They'd held out hope that KJH would be someone who could see reason. But you'd have to be beyond naive to believe that now. So with all evidence piled up during these two months pointing to KJH being a nasty little guy who has only ever had himself and DC's best interests at heart, I sincerely hope KJH fucks himself over, and for all fans who are eternally confused about what PM has done wrong to be someday in need of a union.

[louellaby]

FORGET-ME-NOT

REPLACED!MC AU

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W A R N I N G

May contain bad grammar, limited vocabulary, and OOC characters. Please mind that English is not my first language, and it takes a lot of courage for me to post due to my anxiety and paranoia.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

taglist: @books-and-catears @owl778 @yourlocalgrass @kaiserkisser @hhurric4ne @amberheavendremurr @yu-ulda @bk-4-trash-fire

PROLOGUE | CHAPTER I | CHAPTER II | CHAPTER III | LOUE'S LETTER | CHAPTER IV | CHAPTER V | LOUE'S LETTER | CHAPTER VI | CHAPTER VII | CHAPTER VIII | CHAPTER IX | CHAPTER X | LOUE'S LETTER | EPILOGUE

E P I L O G U E

「 I'm Right Here! 」

"Y-You're not really going to k-k-k... m-me, are you? I know you won't...! Y-You are all a bunch of sweethearts, after all, and you're all just messing with me right now! Y-You can't do this to me...!"

"Have you forgotten, Lady Soley? They're demons. And with one command from me, you'd be gone."

In the Devildom, the lives of the demons continued on as usual. The streets were bustling with noise, the shops full of customers, the forests as quiet as they have ever been, and the servants of the castle were all busy preparing for an upcoming festival which should bring more cheer to the realm. But in that particular castle, a man sighed deeply as he eyed the paper that slowly crumpled in his grasp.

"That's the 16th sigh this minute, Lucifer," Diavolo lightly chuckled as he watched his friend with an apologetic look. The prince knew what Lucifer was extremely bothered with.

It had already been four weeks since school ended. Everyone should be on vacation, including Lucifer and Diavolo, but they couldn't stay away from this specific problem. Why? Because it was the case of their failed human exchange student, Soley Day, who was thought to have disappeared months ago during their trip. That's right, no one outside the group knew what really happened to her. It's all a big secret.

"What are we going to do about this, Diavolo?" Lucifer sighed once more before dropping the paper on the table and leaning back on his chair. He tried to soothe his headache by rubbing his temples, hanging his head to the back. "I'm supposed to be on a trip with my family, and you told me two months ago that you would handle this on your own."

"I know, I'm sorry, but I really need your help on this one. I thought I could handle it, but it turns out this is a bigger problem that we hoped for, considering everyone's wondering where Soley has disappeared to. It has become a huge headache."

"Yeah, I can feel that." Lucifer sat up straight again and looked at his friend. "Does the Celestial Realm have a problem with this as well?"

Diavolo shook his head, "No. For reasons unknown to me, they left this one alone. The only problem now lies in Soley's family."

"I see, so that's what's bothering you. Despite their title, they're still just humans, Diavolo. It would be easy to deceive them."

"... Do you really think that that's the only way left to go?" The prince got bothered by Lucifer's reason. He knew Lucifer was getting impatient that he'd suggest something like this, but... is that really what it has come to? Deceiving humans who he wanted to gain the trust of?

A lot of time has passed. Eventually, even Diavolo understood how irritable Lucifer has become, the more the paperwork kept piling on and on. And so, the Avatar of Pride was dismissed for the day.

"You know, it's rare for you to admit you want to spend time with your family," teased Diavolo, enjoying the sight of Lucifer's face turning red as the man got up from his seat.

"My family is important to me, Diavolo. Every single one of those seven; they're all important to me. That will never change." Lucifer left the room, hurrying back home where seven people were waiting in chaos for him to return.

"Family, huh..?"

"Mother! Father! I'm back!" A certain girl with light orange hair and lime green eyes exclaimed, excitedly running out of a limousine and rushing into the arms of her awaiting parents.

"Soley! Welcome home! We were so worried about you! So, so worried!"

"I told you you didn't have to worry so much. I'm fine and in one piece." The girl then looked towards the man who stood behind her parents. "Heath!" She ran past the couple and jumped into the man's arms; an action that surprised both the man and the couple, along with the other servants surrounding them.

It was the first time in a very long while that their young lady showed any closeness or emotion towards her butler. While most were happy about this unexpected development, some were suspicious. Nevertheless, everyone was happy with the events, and her parents were so proud of her.

Little did anyone know, a translucent figure with tears in her eyes was watching them up close.

"Mother! Father! Heath! That's not me! Everyone! Listen to me! I'm right here!"

Despite her constant shouting, her unbearable protests, her desperate efforts in making them notice her; not one of them reacted to her presence. Every time she tried to touch any of them, her hand went through their bodies as if they were made of air; but it was, in fact, her own figure that was the problem.

"Come, Soley, we prepared a party for your return. All of your friends are here, and they can't wait to see you!"

"Alright, I'm coming, but after the party, can we have our own time together? You know, as a family?"

Once again, everyone around them was taken aback. Even the invisible form of her, who cringed at the suggestion.

Everyone knew Soley wasn't one to spend time with her parents anymore. Not since she grew up and had her own friends that she called her family. Because of the surprise, Soley's parents hugged the girl with tears in their eyes. They were so happy to hear that their precious daughter wanted to be with them again that they didn't even question anything. The ghost just watched it happen; her claws digging into her arms and her biting her lip in frustration.

"How dare that fake steal all the attention meant for me... I refuse to take this!"

That day had been a difficult one for the young lady. She watched in pain as her impostor lived the life that was meant to be hers. She did her best trying to get just anyone to notice her. Most painfully, she watched as the fake walked through the halls of the place she called home, with the man she held closest to her heart.

"Heath, I have a question."

"Yes, my lady?"

The two of them were in Soley's room. Heath was helping the lady prepare for the grand party happening later that day.

"What would you do if someone confessed their romantic feelings for you?"

"Oh, no. No, no, no. You're not doing this to me."

The butler dropped the brush he was holding, freezing in place as he locked eyes through the mirror with the girl in front of him. "I, uhm, I-I beg your pardon?"

"If someone confessed to you, what would you do?"

"Heath, don't answer that!"

The more the questions popped up, the wider Heath's eyes went. His brows furrowed. He suspected everything would've been a joke, but the look in Soley's eyes told him they weren't. And so, putting his heart on his sleeve, he opened his mouth in response.

"I suppose it would depend on my own feelings as well, my lady."

"What do you mean?"

"I will be happy and accept the confession of the person if I also feel the same way for them as they do for me."

"But if you don't, then..."

"Then, no, I'm afraid."

The lady sitting in front of the mirror removed her gaze from Heath and placed it on another. Soley's ghost gasped in surprise when she realised her impostor was staring directly at her, a smirk on her face forming before she opened her mouth and spoke to the butler again, her eyes not looking away from the spirit.

"What about me?"

"... my lady?"

Soley got off the chair and approached the butler, who stood still in confusion. She reached out and held both of his hands in hers, longingly staring at his eyes.

"What if I tell you, Heath, that I have feelings for you? Would you accept them?"

"My Lady, I—"

"Don't worry about your job, Heath. It's secure, and I'll keep it that way no matter your answer. I just want to know how you feel about me."

"No, please. Don't do this to me...! Y-You can't take Heath away from me, ple—"

"I..." The butler paused for a moment. And at that moment, all of his precious memories with his lady rushed through his head, displaying themselves one-by-one.

Heath stared into Soley's eyes just as she had hoped he would. His breathing quickened the more he realised the weight of the situation. But that was a moment he had always been waiting for. The moment he thought would never come. Not even in a million years.

"... I love you, Soley."

"What do you suppose happened to Soley's soul up in the human world?"

"Everything went according to plan, Young Master. Lady Soley had seen her life taken away from her, including the one she felt romantic feelings for. She is currently on a breakdown as we speak."

"What about MC?"

"MC is doing better than before. Their bond with the brothers has deepened greatly."

"Good. Perfect. ..... It's time to find a new exchange student. This time, let's hope they won't be as troublesome as the previous one. And even if they are, we can count on MC to handle it."

"Of course, my Lord. I will prepare the papers."

The moment the Seven Rulers of the Underworld and their human master returned from their family vacation, they were met with stacks and stacks of papers with information about new candidates for the exchange program. As the prince and his butler expected, a tsunami of complaints and disagreements washed over them. After a long while of discussions, everyone agreed to close the exchange program temporarily until they could find the perfect students for it.

Little did they know, a human sorcerer was watching them from his crystal ball in the human world. The moment his deep blue eyes glowed, a piece of paper appeared in his hands. He studied its contents for a moment before placing it in an envelope, a smile appearing on his face as he held the letter out towards the white raven that rested on its perch.

"Deliver this to the prince of the Devildom. Tell him I'm interested in his so-called exchange program."

"Your wish is my command, Lord Ceowald."

「 LOUE'S LETTER | THE END.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

Loue's Note:

Whether you've been here since the beginning, or you've just stumbled upon this story recently, I thank you so, so much for taking the time to read this! Thank you for the ones who supported me all the way (you know who you are) ! I'm really grateful for the wonderful reactions I've received! ♡♡♡

Forget-Me-Not has reached its end; but just as one story ends, another one begins. I hope you look forward to my next replaced mc au!

I give you lots of hugs and wish you the sweetest of dreams whenever you fall asleep.

— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —

[e-nonsense]

𝐚𝐬𝐤 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐲

⇢ ᴊᴀꜱᴏɴ ᴛᴏᴅᴅ x ɢɴ!ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ {ᴀɴʏ!ᴠᴇʀꜱᴇ}

⇢ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ » ʟᴀɴɢᴜᴀɢᴇ

⇢ *ɪɴꜱᴇʀᴛ ᴡᴇᴅᴅɪɴɢ ʙᴇʟʟꜱ*

You had no idea where Jason had slipped off to. It would be pretty hard to just disappear, especially when this whole gala was for and about him.

16th of August, had come around fast and you found yourself in need of a gift for your boyfriend. You wanted something special and meaningful, something that would last and remind him that he is loved.

You two had been dating before his death and resurrection and when he came back thing were a little rocky, neither of them really coming to term with his death. But that had been a year ago and now you two were stable and happy, never fighting - a small argument here and there - he made sure to come back to you every night, worrying when you stopped sleeping because of nightmares and worry.

Back to the gift topic, you knew he hated grand gestures so Bruce and Dick were a no, Tim sucked at relationships and Damian was to young to know anything about that stuff, you would’ve asked Alfred but he had a lot on his shoulders.

So naturally you went to his best friend Roy Harper. Things between the two of you had been awkward, you to had hooked up once at a bar, both apparently sober enough to remember everything that happened that night - yes you both got over it and told Jason, he was shocked and didn’t talk to either of you for a couple of days. But you still got lots of okay advice, in the end you brought a ring, black with a singular red line and red on the inside.

After minutes that felt like an eternity, you found him in the garden on the grass with Ace’s head on his thigh, Jason’s hand scratching his head. It was the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen, the moonlight making his green eyes sparkling, the lighting from the moon made his hair look shiny, his jacket discarded behind him, he was breath taking.

You walked softly, bending down a little to pick up his jacket, nervously playing with the small ring box in hand. You lowered yourself tot the floor beside him, his head coming down onto your shoulder, inhaling your scent. “Hi sweetheart”

“Hi baby” your voice low and soft, turning your head softly to kiss his head. “Didn’t get to see you all night”

“sorry, running from the questions ,you know” wrapping his free arm around your waist.

You hummed in acknowledgment “well I have a question, you don’t have to answer it, now or we can pretend it never happened, don’t wanna make it awkward. Jay, oh god-”

“Sweetheart it’s alright, ask away”

“How do I do this- right okay, Jay look at me please”

He lifted his head and looked towards you, soft smile showing you how tired he was.

Okay this is it- fuck I forgot to ask Bruce for permission, oh yeah I asked Alfred

Sliding the back towards yourself from under his suit jacket, opening the box to see the red and black ring “Jason Todd, I love you so much and I’m not entirely sure what I’m doing, but I know whatever it is I what to do it with you. So will you marry me?”

Now it was his turn to stumble over his words going speechless.

“Sorry, I knew this was a bad idea” before you could start insulting Roy and yourself Jason had pulled you into a kiss, it didn’t last very long but it told you everything you needed to know. Breaking away from him, you pulled the ring out of the box took his hand in yours and slipped the ring onto his ring finger.

ʙᴏɴᴜꜱ:

“They what?!” Bruce’s voice echoed louder than usual causing all the Wayne resident to come into the kitchen.

“They proposed- wait they didn’t ask you?”

“No-”

“Who proposed?” Damian asked

“Fuck-” all their heads turned to you. All of a sudden your slippers seemed interesting.

“Y/n explain” Bruce’s words stern as ever

You had never been this happy to see and hear Alfred as you were now “They asked for my permission”

“And why is that Y/n?”

“Well Jay’s always been closer to Alfred so I asked him before I asked Jason to marry me”

You were in for a big talk from every single one of Jason’s family.

© ᴜɴᴏꜰꜰɪᴄɪᴀʟ-ᴊᴀʏᴛᴏᴅᴅ-ᴡɪꜰᴇ. ᴅᴏ ɴᴏᴛ ᴄᴏᴘʏ/ꜱᴛᴇᴀʟ/ᴛʀᴀɴꜱʟᴀᴛᴇ

[ijustreallylovethem]

3/17/2024 ~ baby zegras

sadiehughes

liked by quinnhughes and others

sadiehughes baby boy heard grandma was in town and made an early appearance just to meet her! march 16th may officially be my favorite day of the year. the day i got to finally meet wyatt james :)

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jackhughes NO HE WASNT SUPPOSED TO BE HERE UNTIL THE SEASON WAS OVER

jackhughes you mean to tell me i have to wait a month to meet him

jackhughes A MONTH!?

sadiehughes take a leave 🙃

fanone that “jack hughes has taken a leave of absence” post tomorrow is gonna hit like CRACK

ellenhughes he was too excited to wait! and i was so exited to be there for you

sadiehughes and boy am i glad you were

fantwo single mother sadie? 👀 because i’m not seeing a dad

quinnhughes sadie, he’s adorable. if only we weren’t just there 😔

sadiehughes he did NOT need to come two weeks ago when you all were here. you can meet him when you come back in two weeks quinny

jackhughes NOT FAIR! I SHOULD GET TO MEET HIM FIRST! WE DON’T COME BACK OUT THERE

sadiehughes TAKE. A. LEAVE.

fanthree you know who did unexpectedly leave recently…

fanfour he didn’t leave, he just hasn’t come back

fanthree but he was supposed to come back and then he didn’t

fansix we have no clue what day he was supposed to come back. he hasn’t been out any longer than expected

alexturcotte so when can i meet him?

sadiehughes not until jack does, or he may explode

gracedrysdale SADIE! CUTE BABY ALERT! AND A MILF!

sadiehughes just wait four months and i’ll say the same 🤭😉

fanfive how is she this pretty after giving birth? what’s in the hughes genes? what water did they drink? where do i buy it?

fansix LITERALLY

lukehughes i’m not holding that thing until it’s been scrubbed

sadiehughes funny, i said the same thing about you

fanseven boy mom sadie! AH!

colecaufield so when’s he getting in some skates? ducks could use some help.

masonmctavish he’s reporting to practice tomorrow 🫡

sadiehughes maybe give him a year to catch up to the rest of you

trevorzegras hey jack, when can i meet him?

jackhughes NOT BEFORE ME

avazegras sadie you’re glowing! and baby boy is adorable!

fanfifteen i can’t imagine the fight for favorite uncle

sadiehughes it’s already started months ago. it’s been… entertaining.

njdevils congratulations sadie! future devil?

sadiehughes not if quinn has anything to do with it, sorry :(

fansixteen okay but what did you eat after?

sadiehughes SO MUCH HAM. i just really wanted ham sandwiches the whole time but wasn’t allowed to eat them. mama ellen asked what i wanted and i said a container of ham and she had to pause for a moment

fannine like… not even good baked ham? deli meat ham?

sadiehughes i love a good hot ham and cheese

njdevils

liked by sadiehughes and others

njdevils Jack and Luke Hughes will be gone by leave of absence until March 22, 2024.

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sadiehughes oh, he actually did it

faneight not luke going too 😭

fannine hope she scrubbed that baby

fanten lowkey ridiculous. the baby will still be there in a month when the season is over. which it will be because no way we get to playoffs with these two gone.

faneleven girl what 😭

fantwelve NOOOO I HAD PENS TICKETS

fanthirteen FELT! i have jets tickets.

fantwelve we can cry together

fanfourteen wait why are they leaving?

fanfive their sister had a baby!

fanfourteen oh my gosh! good for her!

fanthree with trevor zegras!

fanfourteen WHAT

fanseven that’s not confirmed. or even a working theory, really.

fanone i told you! CRACK!

fansix no i’m so excited for even the possibility of a picture of them with a baby

[kalianos]

Context: So ages ago I ran a game in one of my custom worlds. It was a False Hydra game. Kept the players in the dark about it. Along the way I had kept some light notes pointing out bits here and there I felt were important. These eventually made it to the scene I am going to describe below.

As you walk along the town, the ropes tied around your waist. However everyone alive hear and feel the rope snap and sounds of heavy slapping. Along with the distinct chink of something small bouncing on the cobblestones.

Party starts to immediately asking who died, who they don't remember anymore. I calmly tell them that they are fine. Except the druid. I hear an exasperated groan from the player thinking he died since he was at the end of the rope. I tell him no, his character is still alive and as he looks back. He see's another length of rope behind him that wasn't there before. Leading to a mess of half-eaten green skin, bright armor and a book covered in blood on the ground.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------

Upon looking at the journal. They found this in the book. It's a bit lengthy.

1994 DR, 14th of Midwinter’s Torment

The adventurer’s guild has tasked us again. We are holding out a campaign against some rogue goblin elements outside of town. I have my doubts about the job. Acanthes is a chill human at least. He still smells like the swamp though. Somehow got saddled with a warrior from Chaton. Chaton! How the feth did he make it over the many fathoms?

Must have paid an orc ship all his coin to be taking work with the adventurers’ guild.

1994, 16th of Midwinter’s Torment

We made camp at the edge of the their base. It took a two days and a night to get here. By Moradin, The rogue we brought along has cheese. I suspect she is part of the “cheese makers” in more ways than one. She can be useful. Kai is a decent sort. Got too sharp of a tongue. Sharp dagger as well thankfully. In hindsight it was funny how well she threw a dagger into that goblin scouts skull. The tabaxi is being quiet.

1994DR, 17th of Midwinter’s Torment

We managed to break into the first barricades. The guards have been taken down. The patrols are aware of us now unfortunately. I have only a few vestiges of my power left. By Moradin I wish I was stronger to channel his divine will. Time. Time is all we need. They are banging on the doors.

1995DR, 4th of Summer Song

We have gone on for so long. We only had a few days rest from taking down the halfling raids to the north along the steppes. Those plains scare me. We passed by a few ghost towns. Ravaged by the halfling mongrels, taken down by Gnoll war bands. Or worse. Being consumed by the false hydras.

Since we have earned bronze rank over the last several months. We were warned that our jobs are now going to be “real” jobs. True monsters and terrors can now be assigned to us. It can’t be all bad right? I heard in the officer lounge while being debriefed that a blue dragon is potentially going to recruit some of us to acquire a rare gem for a courtship ritual. Apparently we would be guests of honor at the wedding if it goes well. I like weddings. Though I don’t think anyone knows how dwarves wed themselves. Buying themselves from their significant other’s parents, crushing gems under their iron boots. Growing up as a half-orc in the tunnels was interesting. Strangely did get a few interested lookers.

1995 DR, 11th of Summer’s rest

I am fuming now. I had slight hope we would get the deadly mission to help out the blue dragon, I could have worn a pretty formal chain-mail shirt or maybe plate armor. I had even looked into our major library to learn how blue dragons interacted and proper protocol.

All for nothing. Ackerson had come down pale and shaking after the letter flew in and he handed me the pack. I noticed it was much thicker than usual. Usually a manifest was just, “Supplies, guild resources rented, gold reward, gold reward deductions, and a small line for our major injury expenses to be compensated.” All on a single sheet of paper, then the outline written by a desk jockey with no legs. This was a full blown book in size. When I asked what it was about Ackerson just leaned up and whispered into my ear the one thing I didn’t want to hear ever in my existence.

“There is a report of a false hydra by guild watchdogs up in Ohmsford. Your team is the only one capable at the moment to handle it. We have taken measures and given you major bonuses to increase your chances of success. We need you to do this, and…I’m sorry. In case any of you fail, the stone of false hydra adventurers has already been carved upon so we will at least know you all in name and what your designations were in the grand library.”

I’m scared, no I’m terrified. Reading this book made by two wizards accounts is the most terrifying thing ever. These monsters are born from lies in folklore but we have no idea how they spring up? The drawings and the life-cycles of these things are downright horrific.

This is the most I’ve written in this thing in a long while but I can help but think; that I am sending us to the worst kind of death imaginable.

I took precautions just in case. I sent my adoptive father a memory stone explaining everything. Remarking that if he forgets his emerald treasure that its because she died fighting one of the most horrifying monsters of this world for their safety.

I’m going to tell the rest of the party later. Right now they are just going to be aware that its being caused by some cultists at the moment.

1995 DR 12th of Summer’s rest

We are having a last blow out party in the town. Drank myself silly. Kai brought in some amazing cheese. Had a fondue fountain and everything. We were only a little miffed when we found Acanthus floating a maple leaf boat through it. Claimed it would help give it more depth of flavor. I think he’s just being dumb. It does taste mapely though. Lucky bastard that I like maple syrup.

1995 DR, `13th of Summers Rest

Fucking potatoes, cabbage, farm lands and wheat for miles. I don’t want to eat ever again for as long as I live. Well except for pork. Never can give that up. Met some weird farmer named Perry. Claimed he had a scarecrow problem. Exorised it easily enough though Weevil got a small cut. After that a Slaad had erupted from the ground. How the hell this farmer survived with a Slaad on his land I will file into “most definitely an agent of chaos” column. Dispatched it well enough. Had to cast a spell of some power to cure Kai though. She got hit with the chaos disease. Was not interested in having to mercy kill my own party member at the start of the adventure.

We decided to make our way as fast as we could through the evening to the mountains. I knew a place that would give us a good deal on room.

Turns out I was right. The dwarf still remembers me from the good old days down in the caves. Got my friends set up in their own suite while I spent extra for my own private one.

I’ve never enjoyed a bath like this in so long. I’ll have to ask Harriet for a crystal. She finally perfected in making light crystals for the caves and it looks beautiful. I’m sure dad would like one. Who knows, if I managed to send it in time it’ll be a good marker for my memorial on the memory stone.

1995 Dr, 14th Summers rest

Bloody chilly, hellish sky whale. And those two idiots nearly drowned themselves trying to get light crystals when I told them that they were buyable. Claimed it was for the adventure of it and effort. I think they were just being stubborn.

Going into town, everything seemed off. We parked our mule and cart in the stables next to an inn. Ordered drinks as our Tabaxi went upstairs to do his ritual armor cleaning. The rogue managed to convince our druid to steal from an old man who looked like a banker. Greedy morons. Didn’t they see all the guards on high alert everywhere? They were caught by of all things another thief. Chatting with the bartender illuminated a lot. Whatever this is, it started in the northern-western area of town. I asked what the local authority here is. He could only shrug and tell me that it was the Captain of the Guard, Wilma; who runs things as usual. In a weird way it made sense. But it doesn’t make sense. I know there is a big mayoral estate here for a local authority.

1995 DR, 15th of Summers Rest

Dealt with a tailor who had been attacked. The halfling that sits in front of her shop is a creepy old hag of a woman. While here the tabaxi had claw daggers from the slaad start being made. On top of that I managed to convince them to make a nice maul in the old style but big enough for me. The dwarf was amenable when I spoke to him in the tongue of our fathers.

We talked with Leah for a bit. Our rogue tried to do some weird mind trickery that seemed to do something. It appears that not all memories can be completely erased I guess even by magic. The mind is a funny thing. While searching around, I found the picture of her husband and two children. It was hidden in the nightstand drawer. I think she didn’t know what to make of it and it disturbed her.

We met the local cheesemaker by accident. He had been ransacking the town since perfectly fine magic shops and alchemists were just there. Seeing as how the people who run them probably don’t exist anymore to the world. I am letting it slide. Moradin forgive me. Habbakuk and Zeboim as well to appease my sea orc ancestors.

We fought a troll. I burned so many spells and kept a wall between the troll and the everyone else. I got banged up pretty hard. Still that troll got a few lucky swipes on the druid and samurai. They’ve never seen a troll before and I hope they get to remember what happens. Felt prudent to spend most of my spells on healing. There is still a Troll colony here and they are completely feral apparently. I asked about trolls to the Town Captain who apparently has “always ran this town.”

She claims that Trolls are a very rare minor problem that only happened recently. This resort town can kiss my green ass.

Was told to investigate the retirement village for adventurers on the other side of this box canyon. I acquiesced to this request since we being paid. Paid to go and ask questions in that will help our initial investiagion no less. I love when the stars align to throw us a bone.

Met Gloria. She seemed nice. She had a love of ale that rivals some of the heavy drinkers back in the caves.

Acanthes got knocked out something fierce from a quarter shot. He came too and told me he had a weird dream. I suggested he follow his heart which he determined to mean go and meditate to the green father. What he told me afterwards is a puzzle of itself.

A shimmering pillar above the city? The singing I belive is from the false hydra. But this shimmering pillar? What does it mean?

We dealt with an Alemental. Talked to the Destroyers. A nice couple. Maybe I can find a strong man someday. Heh, will it be a man of the earth or a man of the sea like my ancestry wants?

The witch has a crazy love obsession with purple. Quisayle is a strange one to be honest. She seemed more fascinated than concerned about the false hydra.

Mentioned that there is an old tower to the northwest ohmsford that probably held a wizard of some report. She only mentions it because she has no memory of anyone living yet it’s a very nice tower. She is scary good at putting two and two together apparently.

1995 DR.

Had a nightmare. I was back at the inn room with some lady. A giant pale white face came in through the open window and gorged itself on her. As I tried to help another face and long neck came through and tried to eat me. I’m too strong and punched it back.

Woke up in a cold sweat over it. I’m writing this in the morning due to the oddness of this dream.

I clutch my holy symbol of Moradin. The warm glow of his forge comforts me through it. I run my finger over the engraving. If I am going to disappear this will be the one thing I will make sure to survive. It holds the needed identifier for the memory stone and for the guilds false hydra stone. Actually, I should keep this journal out and keep writing in it!

As long as I can see the thing in the moment, I can write about it! By the hammer fall! I can trust myself to keep a good record. I should share this with the group. I also devised that we can use a length of rope to keep us together slightly. This way we know if we have been attacked at least.

Itsafterusanditstryingtoeatmeohmoradinthisis bad. Its tailing us. Dropping its song to attack us!

Oh this is bad. I don’t know what do. If I had a decent mace on me I could beat the hell out of this thing. SHIT TH~

This journal is covered in blood. Inside is a portrait of a Large Half-Orc proudly displaying a Silver rank medal towering over the rest of you looking happy showing off your bronze medals.

A caption below it reads, “ The Squad”

So throughout the campaign they had encountered random weird oddities. Helpful people offering healing, random potions just...inside wolves. All explained away as just some weird quirk of a world they hadn't seen yet. When actually it was their Half-Orc Cleric they never knew they had. I had shamelessly stolen the idea from a D&D community when they were brainstorming about how to bring out a false hydra to be fair. But I think the execution was alright.

[meazalykov]

redirection III

esmee brugts x barcaplayer!R

last chapter: redirection II

next chapter: redirection IV

Two weeks later, September 16th 2023:

I pushed myself off of my pink covered pillows when I heard my phones, “beacon” alarm erupt on my wooden bedside table. I got the click off of the alarm, not without struggling to opening up my eyes in the process. I clicked back on my phone again to read that it’s currently 8:34am, my head fell back onto my pillows since it's early.

My first game with Barcelona... the thought struck my mind. Today, I will be in the squad going up against Madrid CFF. I am excited and nervous. My heart pumped a little faster thinking about it. I've never been on a new team before outside of Spirit so It feels as if I'm starting over.

Since it is my debut, I know I will not start. There's a possibility that I won't have minutes until I build more chemistry with the team. I don't take offense to this since it's common practice. Throughout training these last few weeks, Joan said he is impressed by how quickly I've adapted to the team and play styles. He complimented me about my dribbling techniques through defenders in order to score a goal. The coach seems to like me a lot, which I appreciate.

Last night I went on a walk with some of my friends here in Barcelona. It was a needed walk throughout the busy city. Which friends did I go with? Esmee, Ingrid, Mapi, Jana, and Bruna.

I've developed a close friendship with those five so far on the team. That doesn't mean I am not making an effort to be close with others Salma and I have plans to hang out soon, but our problem is that we can't decide when due to our schedules outside of the pitch. Patri and Pina have developed letting me in on their inside jokes, which are hilarious.

Everyone on the team has been lovely so far. They've accepted me into their circle and I couldn't be more thankful. I've heard horror stories about clubs not trusting the newbie until they're able to prove themselves. I'm glad that Alexia, my captain, saw my skills through videos and accepted me into the club.

On the walk last night, we all talked about the game against Madrid CFF. We were all excited as playing the sport has been a passion for all of us. However, Esmee noticed the uncertainty plastered on my face.

"Your debut could possibly be tomorrow." Esmee spoke to me as we all walked up the warm lit streets of Barcelona. I turned to look at her on my left with a small smile.

"I know. I'm excited---and nervous. I just want to impress the community, you know?" I spoke. Ingrid, who walked on my right, put her arm around my shoulders in a side hug. "You'll do great if you play tomorrow. We all know you will." She let go as she saw a smile coming from me.

Coming back to my surroundings, I finally got out of bed and walked to my bathroom which connected to the bedroom in my apartment. After brushing my teeth, doing my skincare routine, and brushing my hair. I walked out of my bedroom into the foyer, going to grab ice water in the kitchen to hydrate before the game.

Stepping back into my bedroom, I made my bed which was covered in pink french linen sheets and grabbed my phone before walking to the living room.

Esmee 34mins ago: goedemorgen, it's game day!

I saw Esmee's iMessage notification appear when I turned on my phone notifications. My dimples appeared on my cheeks as I smiled.

Ever since our dinner at La sevia a few weeks ago, we built a habit on saying goodmorning and goodnight to each other when we aren't around each other. This gesture means a lot to me. It reminds me that she is (maybe) thinking about me as much as I think about her.

We don't text or talk all of the time, understanding that we have our own lives, but we always said goodmorning or goodnight to each other even if we haven't talked prior at night or can't talk after in the morning.

La sevia was the last time that Esmee and I hanged out by ourselves. Since, we've had Bruna or other Barcelona girls tag along with us to hang out. I didn't mind but I knew we had to spend time together again, just the two of us.

Y/n 2secs ago: goedemorgen Esmee, I'm excited!

I responded to the dutch girl.

After eating breakfast which consisted of some oatmeal, fruit salad, iced espresso, and a small protein shake, I watched some TV then got ready to head over to the Johan Cruyff Stadium.

I knew I had to dress to impress, since I discovered that there will be photographers taking pictures and videos of the squad before they walked into the dressing rooms. They'll do this to update and gain social media attraction before the game.

Esmee Brugts and Ona Batlle, two players who joined Barcelona this season as well, already had their debuts last game if you include the friendly against Club America. I am alone when it comes to having my debut since my signing happened on the last day of the transfer window. This means that if I do get minutes, the fan's attention will be on me as a forward. My task would be for me to drive the ball up the field and score.

My closet in my bedroom was filled with all of my clothes that I brought with me from America. I knew I wouldn't be back there unless I got called up for USWNT international camps, so I brought everything I owned to my apartment here.

Seeing a pair of baggy Levis I liked, I took it off of my black hanger and tossed the clothing on the bed closely in the bedroom. I saw a cute thin sweatshirt that I've never worn yet, so I grabbed it off of the hanger and tossed it onto the bed as well. I got on my knees and pulled out my storage bin that stored all of my sports bras, I grabbed a black Nike one and tossed it over where my clothes are. Most of my sports clothes are Nike since they're the brand I've signed a media contract with. (a/n: sorry my Adidas girls)

After changing into my outfit, I kept my hair how I usually style it (imagine whatever hairstyle you have, reader <3) and put on some brown sweat proof mascara and a tiny bit of sweat proof concealer under my eyes and on my blemishes. I know it's game day but I never leave the apartment without wearing mascara and concealer.

For a minute I had concerns about my outfit, the weather in Barcelona was pretty warm. However, my sweatshirt wasn't heavy at all and I knew after the game the temperature would drop as the game ends after sundown. The worry slipped my mind as I grabbed my black Nike bag with all of my soccer(football) essentials.

As I stepped into the drivers seat of my black car, my phone in my back pocket dinged. I pulled my phone out of my back pocket to see an iMessage.

Esmee 2mins ago: Good luck today n/n 🥰

I blushed at the message as I replied to the Dutch,

Y/n 34secs ago: Good luck to you too Es ❤️

32 minutes later

As I walked into the next hallway where the dressing room was, I seen two photographers right outside the door. One had a phone camera which I knew is recording a video, the other had a professional camera.

The girl with the camera snapped some pictures of me as I showed off my dimples and waved at them, continuing to walk closer to the dressing room. This feeling was surreal. All eyes are on me and I needed to make a good impression on the Barcelona fans in the stadium and around the world.

Taking a deep breath to steady my nerves, I walked into the dressing room and was greeted by some of the team who were getting dressed. I am early, so a lot of the girls haven't arrived yet.

"Y/n! Are you ready?!" Mariona Caldentey, who had the locker on my left in the dressing room, asked in a very enthusiastic tone as she pulled her number nine jersey over her head. It's obvious that she is uplifting me, someone who is concealing her nervousness, so I smiled.

"I am ready. Can't wait to for us win tonight!" I replied. My enthusiasm showed but there was uncertainty in my voice too. Mariona jumped around in excitement at my reply, it's clear that the dressing room is very hyped up before games.

"I know that's right!" Mariona responded, not noticing my nervousness. Maybe she is aware that I am nervous and that is her trying to make me feel better, cute.

I looked down at the shorts I'll be wearing for the game, which laid perfectly folded on my bench. #17. Back in Washington Spirit, this was my number. On the national team, I am known for wearing seventeen. I didn't ask for this. In fact, I expected Barcelona to give me a completely new number to signal the new era I am in. The number made me smile in appreciation.

Wearing my lucky number this season felt a symbol of empowerment and belonging. Barcelona is doing everything to make me feel included. After taking off my outfit, I put the number seventeen home kit shorts on top of the 3" navy blue compression shorts I already had on. Alexia noticed my attention on the number my shorts had. Seventeen isn't just a number to me; it's a badge of honor.

Holding the soft jersey in my hands, I admire my last name "(Reader's last name)" on the back printed above the white seventeen. I smiled before flipping the jersey, looking at the new 23/24 home kit I will wear for the first time ever in a game. Dragging my fingers over the badge, I smile a tiny bit before going to put the jersey on.

At this point, the entire team is in the dressing room. The digital clock in the room showed that we had five minutes before we had to go out to the field to practice. Some players were thinking to themselves, others were making beat rhythms on the lockers to heighten the team's high morale, and Keira and Aitana were dancing. I am apart of the group who are thinking to themselves.

I found myself stealing glances at Esmee. Esmee, poised and focused, radiated a shy confidence that I couldn't help but admire. The Dutch might've been shy but she knows that she is a good player. As Ale, our team captain, began her rallying speech, my attention drifted back to Esmee.

When our eyes briefly met, I felt a flutter of nerves in her stomach. Quickly, I looked away, going down and pretending to fuss with the laces of my ivory-colored cleats. The familiar routine of tying her shoes provided a momentary distraction from the intensity of Esmee's gaze. The girls knew of how much they're looking at each other. Neither of them would confront the other about it, yet.

An hour later, at the 57th minute, Jona waved for me to come off of the bench and warmup to come in the game. The girls on the bench looked at me with a happy and excited smile.

"You're going to go on for Pina, We need a goalscoring opportunity and I believe you'll have something to offer, go!" Jona spoke to me. After he finished, I run to go do the routined stretching and sprints that you're required to do before subbing into a game.

Once I finished my warmup with Asisat, who joined me for warmups a minute later, the weight of nerves started to settle in my stomach. This was it, my moment to debut on the pitch for one of the most prestigious clubs in women's football. With Barcelona holding onto a narrow 1-0 lead, thanks to Caroline, the pressure was palpable.

Beside me, Asisat, my teammate who seemed to notice my deep breathing, offered a reassuring smile. "You've got this, Y/n," she said, placing a hand on my right shoulder. "Just play your game, and remember, we're all here for you."

I nodded at her with a smile, grateful for Asisat's words of encouragement. My lungs took a deep breath, trying to steady my racing heart as the coach signaled for me to go to the midline, where you stand before the substitution. This was my chance to make an impact, to show the fans what I am capable of on the field.

As the referee blew the whistle to signal substitutes coming on in the 62nd minute, Asisat got in front of me to replace Patri. The Spanish girl jogged off the pitch and gave Asisat a high-five with a pat on the back before jogging past me. Patri gave me a light smile, a show of "good luck" which made me smile. When the Nigerian ran onto the pitch, it's my turn to be subbed on.

The officiants typed on the board for a few seconds before she showed a red "6" and a green "17". This signaled to Pina that she is coming off for me. As the crowd erupted into cheers, Pina jogged off of the pitch and gave me a hug in appreciation. "Have a good debut." Pina said before patting my back and jogging away. When I ran onto the pitch, going up to Alexia to quickly discuss the play, the roar of the spectators washed over me. My debut gave them a mixture of excitement and anticipation. With each movement and possession of the ball, I felt a surge of determination, pushing aside my nerves.

Lucy was able to dribble the ball past a Madrid midfielder before she passed the ball to me. I started to dribble around a few defensive midfielders before seeing that the Madrid goalkeeper is the person left who I have to shoot the ball through. I sprinted with the ball past a defender who nearly made contact with me. At this point, I found myself in the perfect position to make my mark on my debut. With a burst of speed and a precise touch, my left foot launched a powerful shot towards the goal.

Time seemed to slow as the ball sailed through the air, my jaw dropped when I noticed the ball curve and slide through the tips of the goalkeepers fingers. The ball hit the back of the net with a satisfying thud a second later. Barcelona's crowd erupted into a deafening roar, the stadium vibrating with their cheers as my name echoed through the stands.

My happiness radiated on my face as I ran a couple of feet before jumping into the air, pumping my fist in celebration (think of the joao felix celebration he did on his debut goal). Turning around I found contact with Alexia, Aitana, Ingrid, Asisat, Lucy, and Keira who ran to me and gave me the tightest group hug. The other Barcelona players on the pitch caught up and joined in the group hug as well. My heart continued to pound in my cheat. I can't believe I've scored in my debut!!

Barcelona 2-0.

"y/n l/n nuestra estrella americana, ohhh nuestra estrella americana" The Spanish crowd started singing loudly as I go and get into position again. My head is into the game but I couldn't believe that the fans already made a celebration chant for me. I couldn't understand what they've said besides "americana" but I'll ask Alexia after the game.

The Madrid CFF defense were putting up a fight since I've came onto the pitch. Since we were up 2-0, we started to switch onto a defensive position since the opposition is determined on scoring a goal with their attack.

The girls in the white jerseys made a huge error in the 79th minute, which Aitana took advantage off. She gained possession of the ball and started to run up the pitch with the ball. I ran further up the pitch with Carolina Graham Hansen who is free to receive the pass as well.

Two defender came on Aitana's right so she couldn't pass the ball to Caroline. So I am the best option with a single Madrid defender who "marked her man" on me.

It's the 80th minute now and Aitana launched the ball in the air. Determination blazed in my eyes as the ball is going directly to my head. With unwavering focus, I jumped and the ball hit my head as I turned to the left, sending the ball rocketing into the net for my second goal of the match. Madrid's goalkeeper wasn't fast enough to catch the ball that passed over her hands.

The stadium erupted into chaos once again, the crowd on their feet as they cheered for my incredible feat. I couldn't celebrate this time since I am in disbelief. A brace on my debut?? I don't think this has been accomplished in a while.

All I did is cover my face into my hands as Aitana ran up to me. Luckily my face was uncovered by the time she jumped on me to give a hug. The entire time sprinted to me and celebrated for me, we all jumped up and down as a group a few times before breaking apart.

"You made a beautiful header, niña" Alexia said as she patted me on my back. I thanked her as I smiled with my dimpled cheeks before returning to my spot again.

"y/n l/n nuestra estrella americana, ohhh nuestra estrella americana" erupted in the crowd again. I need to pick up a textbook in order to understand Spanish because the rhythm in the crowd impresses me.

In the 89th minute, Esmee subbed on the pitch for Aitana. Asisat scored the fourth goal for Barcelona four minutes after my second goal so we are up 4-0.

We were given three minutes of extra time once the 90th minute came. Esmee spotted an opportunity to pass the ball to me in the final minute. With precision and vision, Esmee delivered a perfectly weighted pass to me, I dribbled ahead inside of the box and shot the ball towards the goal.

Unfortunately, fate had other plans. In a split second, a Madrid defender lunged forward, executing a timely clearance that sent the ball soaring away from the goal. My disappointment was palpable when the defender headed my shot away. The chance for a hat trick evaporated before my eyes.

However, I found solace in the knowledge that I had given the team two goals tonight. As the final whistles blew, signaling the end of the game, the sense of pride wash over me. This is my debut for Barcelona and two goals were attached to my name, giving me a great debut for this season.

A woman, who is clearly one of the workers surrounding the stadium, came up to me and gave me a plague. She had a strong Spanish accent and told me that I am the "Woman of the Match."

After greeting fans, doing my first media interviews in the Media rooms, and taking a shower. I placed on comfortable blue Nike joggers, provided by the club after each game, and the matching jacket before gathering all of the things in the dressing room.

Most of the girls already left the dressing room but they all made sure to congratulate me for my debut before heading home. My gaze drifted towards Esmee, who was preparing to leave, a thoughtful expression on her face as she left her cleats in her locker. Most of us did since we will be back tomorrow morning for recovery training.

Before I could gather the words to speak, Esmee turned towards me, a hint of hesitation in her brown eyes. "Hey, Y/n," she began, her voice soft but earnest. "I was thinking, maybe we could hang out after recovery training tomorrow? Just us two. You know, we can grab lunch and go to one of the beaches or something."

My heart skipped a beat at the unexpected invitation. Despite the exhaustion lingering in me, a smile tugged at the corners of my plump lips. "Yeah, I'd like that," I replied with a smile, my voice tinged with warmth. "It'll be nice to unwind after today."

"I'll see you tomorrow Esmee. Text me once you drive home safely." I said. Esmee's eyes widened for a quick second before she smiled. if I had to guess, she is surprised at what I've said last.

"I will. Let me know when you get home too." The shy girl blushed as I told her goodbye and left the dressing room.

Next Chapter: Redirection IV

<3

[depravity-n-savagery]

Hello, i hope you get well soon ❤️‍🩹

So can you maybe do an Mungrovex reader, where both comfort her. because her ex-bf cheat or something bad. He ignored her for months, just to talk/break up with her in public.

So she just walks into billy and eddie while she just crys and feeld bad?

Some angsty comforting?

Thank you ♡ I'm feeling better than I did a few days ago, so that's progress 😁✨️

All To Ourselves 🫂

♡ Pairing: Mungrove (Eddie & Billy) x (fem)Reader

♡ CW: Cursing, angst (with comfort), barely-veiled flirting, mentions of terrible sex with your bf, cheating, threats of violence, fluffy ending

🛑 18+ MINORS DNI 🛑

♡ Word Count: 1.6k

♡ A/N: It was supposed to be a short blurb, but I ran with it 🤣💞 Loved this idea! And it took everything I had not to write a full-blown smut scene at the end lmao (but it gave me ideas 😏❤️‍🔥)

If you knew it was going to be like this, you would've stayed single just a bit longer. Kept your peace, and even enjoyed the solitude of being probably the only single friend in your group.

'Give someone a chance.' They said. 'One date wouldn't hurt.' They said. 'You deserve to be happy.' As if you weren't happy the way you were. As if simply spending time with your best friends wasn't all you needed to feel loved and socially satisfied. Especially spending time with your two best friends (and a very new couple) Billy and Eddie. Thankfully, the fact that they've recently become more than friends didn't change anything in your friendship dynamic. Although it did crush any silent hopes you had of dating either of them. Those hopes would still kick out a painful little whimper whenever the boys were being their usual affectionate selves.

Lovely friends or not, nobody likes feeling like a third wheel.

So you took their advice, and forced yourself to entertain the advances of one Richard (called 'Rich') Cummings. You couldn't even enjoy the snort that usually accompanied hearing his last name, because he made sure you never came. When things eventually became physical, he was a huge disappointment. Carelessly thrusting away until he selfishly reached his climax, then slipping away into the night. It'd be better if he slept with an inanimate object. Then no one's feelings would be getting hurt. Maybe you wouldn't be in the situation you're in now.

"C'mon Rich, pick up the phone..." You paced the length of your bedroom, twirling the telephone cord around your finger. Out of the three months you've been together with him, he's spent the last one being distant. More than usual.

"Yeah?" His voice picked up on the other end of the line, gruff and a little annoyed by the sound of it.

"Are we still going tonight? We usually leave around this time, and I'm ready to go, but you haven't said anything about it..." He grunted and groaned through your words, making you fade out into a whisper. "Did- Did you forget?" At first, he was the one who insisted on celebrating an anniversary every month on the 16th. Taking you to a movie and then the diner to share your favorite milkshake.

Shuffling in the background of his house caught your attention, but he silenced it with a harsh hush. "Wha? Nah, I didn't forget baby. We're gonna skip the movie tonight. Straight to the diner." The noise came again, and for a second it sounded like another voice. Something that made Rich chuckle before he continued. "Yeah, I'll meet you at the diner in thirty minutes. Later babe."

"Wait, how am I-" click. The line went dead, and you were left sighing with an extra stress added on to your night. How am I supposed to get there? He always picked you up.

Time and time again, your two besties came to your rescue.

"Fuck that guy." Billy grumbled, gripping the steering wheel so hard his knuckles were white. You reached forward, leaning over the column between the two front seats of his Camaro and squeezed his shoulder. Eddie, who was in the passenger seat, nodded in agreement.

"Honestly Sweetheart, when we said you should start dating, we didn't mean find the biggest asshole in town."

"Well I had to settle for second biggest asshole. You already took the first." Eddie doubled over with husky giggles at your remark. One hand raised off the steering wheel to flip you a ring-clad middle finger. "Sit on it, Y/n."

"I think Eddie's got that covered."

This got a gasp from Eddie, placing a hand on his chest. "When did I become the bottom??"

Ohhh?? The subject on who 'topped' or 'bottomed' in their relationship never really came up in conversation. The new nugget of information was dizzying to imagine. Mr.Rough-Em'-Up Billy Hargrove, panting and moaning on all fours. Oh yup, that would be a fun little session when you were back in your bed tonight.

"We're here." Billy pulled into the parking lot, looking away to hide his reddened cheeks. The diner was right ahead of you, and the large glass windows along the front allowed you to see who was inside. It was a slow night, which you loved. Felt more intimate. Then you scanned the area and realized... Rich wasn't there. You were already ten minutes late, he should've beaten you here.

Following your line of sight, the boys came to the same realization. "Do you want us to wait for you? In case you need a ride back?" You could tell Eddie was trying to keep a positive attitude, but his eyes gave him away. Glaring the entrance door as if he expected Rich to walk through it and spontaneously combust from the intensity of his stare.

"We'll be right here."

The usual waitress gave you a sympathetic smile as she placed the second milkshake in front of you, and collected the empty glass from the first. Thirty minutes late, and still no sign of Rich. You couldn't see them in the dark of the parked Camaro in the lot, but you could feel their eyes on you. Most likely fuming.

"Oh shit, you're still here." The voice, despite it being one you've apparently waited so long to hear, didn't bring you any sense of comfort. Not with the crass way his words came out. "I thought you would've taken the hint and left."

Richard 'Town's Biggest Asshole' Cummings, has officially beaten Billy for top spot.

The girl on his arm only added to the stinging humiliation that bubbled behind your eyelids. It collected in the corners of your eyes, and you fought with everything you had not to let it escape. It's bad enough if Rich saw you cry, but this chick seeing it felt like such an intrusion. Who was he to expose your raw nerves like this?

"Fuck you, Richard." Was all you could manage, standing up from your seat and rummaging around in your purse for the wallet you were almost sure you put in there. Or maybe you didn't. Richard usually made a big deal about paying for your dates. Fuck.

He scoffed, pulling a roll of bills from the back pocket of his jeans. "Here. Take it as an apology."

"She won't need it."

Richard stumbled forward as someone pushed by him, purposely moving him aside with their broad and confident posture. Billy placed money down on the table and took your hand. His grip was soft and careful, in contrast to his aggressive stance. The free hand by his side was clenched into a fist. "Let's go, babydoll." He looked over his shoulder at the two of them, recognizing the girl from one of his past hookups. "Hope you know, she's all teeth, Rich. It's like stickin' your dick in a cheese grater. Have fun!"

Without hesitation, he shrugged his demin jacket off and draped it over your shoulders. A blanket of needed comfort. Like the arm he slung over your shoulder, guiding you out into the chilly night air.

"Son of a bitch!" As expected, Billy's composure didn't hold up by the time you all made it back to your house. "I'll wring his neck for this." Out of respect for your things, he didn't punch the walls like he would've done at home. Instead he dug his nails into his palms. "I know where his house is. Let's pay him a visit."

"Boys..." You whined, curled into yourself on the couch.

Eddie was on board, already patting his pockets for keys. "We should take my van, though. People can spot your Camaro from a mile away."

"BOYS!!" They both turned to you, freezing in place. You didn't raise your voice often. "I- ...As much as I love the thought of Rich getting his ass kicked, I just- I really need you two right now..." There was no more fight left in you, and the tears refused to be held back any longer. They made themselves known with the heavy sob that passed your trembling lips. Taking you apart piece by piece.

All plans for rearranging Richard's face were forgotten in the wake of your meltdown. The two of them rushed to your side, sitting on either side of you and squishing you between them in a tight hold. If you weren't so distraught, you would've appreciated the warmth of two toned chests and arms caging you in. It's like they tried to overpower the tears with an abundance of cheek kisses. Fingers running through your hair, and large palms rubbing your back and shoulders. You couldn't tell who was doing what. You just let yourself sink into it. Closing your eyes as they whispered sweet nothings into your ears.

"You're too good for him, sweetheart."

"He didn't know what to do with a girl like you, anyway."

"You'll always have us. You know that, right?"

"Heh, I dunno if we should let you date again. Can't really trust your choices." Billy said, slightly muffled by the position of his face in the crook of your neck. "Maybe we should just keep you for ourselves. What do you think, Ed?"

Eddie peeked up from nuzzling at your collarbone. "I think you're right. 'Least she knows we'll treat her right. Don't you, princess?"

Truly, your mind was mush in their grasp. Your heart, well, they've been holding onto that for a long time. "I love you." Coming from a dreamy haze, you made sure to lock eyes with both of them. "You mean so much to me."

"We love you too, babydoll."

For once, after hearing those words from them, you felt at ease. Replacing the pressure of finding a date, with the satisfaction of having your two favorite boys wrapped around your finger. ♡

♡ A/N: Love the requests!! Keep em comin' ✨️ Mostly for blurbs and headcanons, since I'm already working on multiple full-length fics right now. ♡

Masterlist , Ao3 ☆

[moonlightmenace]

I haven't kept up with trying to post my fundraiser for Oliver's FIP treatment very well, but that's because I had surgery last Monday (carpal tunnel release, first of two) and I've been recovering. I wanted to post a proper update and wasn't ready to type so much.

He is doing well. I haven't had to supplement him with any syringe feeding in several days, he's eating well on his own now. The picture above is him napping a few minutes ago after devouring his whole dinner. He's been playful again, too. He's typically very high energy and still plays like a kitten, but he hadn't been very enthusiastic about play since early-mid Feb. He's also gained just a little weight back!

We have a long way to go, still, though. His treatment will continue until May 16th at minimum. I'm close to my base goal of the minimum potential cost of the treatment, which is $1,260, but I'm still hoping to raise at least a bit more than that, for any supplies (currently, just pill pockets), part of the cost of the blood tests he will need, and any potential increases in cost for the treatment (ie, if he needs an increased dose or to be on it longer than to May 16th).

I live off of disability (which is shamefully low in the US) so I wouldn't be able to afford any of this without help. I know it's rough out there for everyone right now, so I'm incredibly grateful for what I've received thus far and appreciate any further support. ❤❤❤

(tracking bar by my friend @orcagami ❤)

[dreamersbcll]

“Ink Blots”

for @krikeymate

3/5

——————————————————————————

May 19th, 2018

Dear Sam,

Two years. Two whole years. You got up and left. No surprise. I’m still where you left me.

Every day I wake up, and there’s five seconds of bliss before I remember. You’re there for a heartbeat, nothing more. I can almost feel your breath on my cheek and your hand brushing through my hair

I can picture it all. You are holding me, your chin buried into my shoulder. I am holding your hands as they wrap around me. It’s imprinted on my brain.

Amber tells me every day that I need to move on. That you’re long gone. That when you were here, you were never really here. It’s like a broken record.

Yet, She’s right in some ways. You always chose any other substance but me.

But I don’t want to admit that she’s right. She would take it and run. I love her, but she’s a little too intense sometimes. We’ve watched the Stab movies every night since you left like clockwork. I don’t get it.

Please come home. The back door is always open. I don’t lock my bedroom door anymore. You can slip in.

Love, Tara.

——

June 15th, 2018

Dear Samantha,

Formal right? I found your birth certificate and some other documents today. Well, Amber did. She looked through my shit earlier, claiming she “wanted to see if you took your personal information.”

Spoiler: you didn’t. But I don’t know why you would. I’m pretty sure just a driver’s license is needed to disappear.

Anyways, I put your shit into a box and hid it under the floorboards. You’ll find it one day, I’m sure.

I couldn’t find my information. Maybe I’m not a Carpenter. That would be something, huh? Being able to escape this hell family line.

A girl can dream.

Tara Carpenter (maybe).

——

September 27th, 2018

Dear Sam,

High school sucks. Sophomore year sucks. I hate this place.

I don’t want to do anything. I hate math. I’m not good at history. I can’t remember shit.

All the teachers give me looks. Looks of sympathy, disgust, suspicion. I think they recognize the family name. School wasn’t your thing, but it would’ve been nice if you didn’t fuck it up for me. I can barely keep up with the shit they throw at me.

The only one who’s forgiving me is my English teacher Ms. Smith. She has kind, gentle brown eyes, just like yours. Surprisingly, she’s the only teacher who believes in me.

We read books a lot. She helps mentor me in critical writing skills.

Who knows. Maybe I’ll write a book and make us famous, just like that Gale Weathers lady.

Tara

——

November 16th, 2018

Dear Sam,

Do you ever wonder if Mom was ever good? Did we make her this way?

Did I make her this way?

I’m so sick of cleaning up broken bottles and piles of puke. I’m so tired of watching her wither away right before my eyes. I can’t even save her. I can’t tell her to stop. I can’t get her to stop.

Begging and pleading never worked. Trust me; I’ve been trying it with you every night. I think God, or whatever deities I pray to, stopped listening years ago.

It’s strange. First, Dad leaves. Then you. And now Mom had her foot halfway out the door. Is it me? Do you all leave because of me?

What the hell did I do?

Confused, Tara.

——

December 14th, 2018

Dear Sam,

Sweet sixteen. Happy birthday to me. Not that you cared.

Mindy and Chad decorated my locker. Amber bought me flowers and a cake. Ms.Smith gave me a new journal. Mom went on a business trip to Singapore.

And… I’m sixteen. I have a handful of people that care. But they don’t matter. They don’t fucking matter.

I want you, Sammy. You promised to teach me how to drive. You promised to take me for my license. I’ve had to learn how to drive with Amber. And she’s taking me for my license tomorrow. Everything you were supposed to do.

But I suppose this is what you wanted. You would’ve come back if it wasn’t.

I hope wherever you are sucks. I hope you feel my disappointment and anger from here. I’m furious with you. I hate it.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

Tara

——

January 1st, 2019

Dear Sam,

I’m drunk and I miss you and I wish you were here I wish you loved me I want you to love me come back come back come back

Love Tara

——

February 18th, 2019

Dear Sam,

I got picked for the school newspaper—advice column. I laughed in Ms. Smith’s face when she offered it to me.

Advice column. As if I would be the one to give advice. I can’t get anyone to stay.

Did you hear that Robbie Sullivan asked me on a date? I said yes. He never showed up to the theater. Amber was pissed. He came to school the next day with a broken arm and fractured ribs. He said some asshole attacked him.

Funny. Amber talked about a scene in the Stab franchise where someone gets ambushed and hurt. Seemed familiar.

Anyways. School is slow, and life is passing me by. Chad is a big-shot basketball player. I haven’t gone to a game. I can’t stand being in a room full of people and feeling so alone. Mindy is okay with it. She comes over sometimes to braid my hair and make my bed.

Everything is in slow motion. Time is passing, but not at all.

Do you feel that way?

Tara.

——

April 4th, 2019

Dear Sam,

I’m doing fine. I’m regaining all my strength and self-worth in record time. I brush my hair most days and even clean my room once a week.

I stopped going through the photos I kept under my bed. I feel no need to reflect on the past right now because that’s all I can do. There’s no future when I know you’re out there ignoring me.

Maybe even forgetting about me.

I joined a club. A book club. It’s nice just sitting there and letting people’s opinions swallow me whole. I can listen and nod, and everyone leaves me alone; because I’m not moping around anymore. Amber is happier anyways. She was so angry with me for being sad all the time.

Jokes on her; I’m still sad. But I can’t lose anything else anymore, so sadness is a wasted feeling. I can walk for hours in the darkness, stay up all night, pray, and it still wouldn’t matter.

You are still gone, and I am here. I might as well try.

Tara.

——

May 19th, 2019

Dear Sam,

Three years.

I don’t know if I have any tears left to cry for you. I’ve accepted that I’ll never see you again if you could help it.

I hope that once I’m out of this town, you come back, looking for me. And when I’m not there, you understand how it feels.

I try not to be mean. But this is what you wanted, isn’t it? An escape from me. You were leaving me before I could infect you with whatever darkness swirls inside me.

No explanation comes to my mind besides the one where you’re sick of me.

I don’t blame you. I get it.

Love, Tara.

[a-hackneyed-premise]

I am not doing well.

At all.

Yesterday was my birthday. I turned 42. I live at house number 42. As a life-long Hitchhiker's Guide fan, this is a birthday I've looked forward to for years (for my brother's 42nd a couple of years ago, I bought him a bowl of jet-black petunias, with a whale toy nestled amongst them. I was wondering how he would top it) but I cancelled my birthday this year.

Last year, my family drove down to visit us. My side of the family isn't large. Both sets of grandparents are dead, my mum was an only child, my dad's brother - who never had kids of his own - died when I was about 4. My brother is single and doesn't want kids or a partner. So my side of the family is me, my parents, my brother.

And we're close.

So yeah... they drove down to see me for my birthday. They stayed a couple of nights. They were going to leave shortly after breakfast on the morning of March 16th, but I persuaded them to stay just a little longer. To come with us to soft play, and then go after lunch.

They left mine at about 2pm. My little boy gets very distressed when people leave, so they had to sneak out (hence why they were originally going to leave after breakfast, straight from the hotel, so they didn't upset him.) As predicted, he got upset, and I texted mum. She answered straight away.

Anyway. She always gives me updates when she's on the road.

"We've just crossed the bridge. We're stuck in traffic. We've stopped for a coffee." And after an hour and three quarters, when I hadn't heard from her, I sent her a WhatsApp asking how they were getting on, then carried on playing with my 4 year old.

An hour later, I realised she hadn't replied. I checked my phone - the WhatsApp had been delivered but not opened. I didn't think anything of it immediately. Then half an hour after that, I saw that I'd forgotten to give mum her mother's day present, and messaged her again.

About another half hour after that message I realised what the time was, and started to worry. They ahould have been home, and still none of my WhatsApps had been opened. I called her. It rang and rang, with no answer. I tried my brother's phone. The same happened. I called Dad. Same again. I called and called and called, and by now panic was setting in.

So I began looking online for traffic updates. Any reason at all why they may be held up, unable to answer their phones. I saw that there had been an accident on the M25 around the time they were due to get there, and obviously my mind jumped to the worst. But the more I looked into that accident, it didn't seem to fit. Traffic reports said it involved a van and a lorry, and besides, if they were held up in traffic, they'd still be answering their phones, surely?

I looked at google maps, and the a21 looked completely blocked. Dark red for miles. I went on a local "what's happening" facebook group and there were several posts saying the same thing. Avoid the A21. Serious head-on collision. A stolen car being chased by police had ploughed into a white Audi, with three passengers. Two elderly. Judging by the suitcases, they'd been or were going on holiday.

I cannot begin to explain the horror of reading that. We began calling every single hospital we could think of, trying to track them down, and finally found them in Brighton. My mother-in-law raced over to us. The plan was that she would take me, my husband, and my son over to my sister-in-law's (which was on route) drop my son off there, then take me and my husband to hospital.

Just as my MIL arrived, the police turned up to tell me there had been an accident. I think they were very confused that I seemed to know more about it already than they did.

Anyway. The next 2 months were literal hell. My dad was in a coma, and at 80 years old, was walking a knife's edge between life and death. His list of injuries was extensive. From top to bottom, he had a broken shoulder blade, broken collarbone, every single bone in his right arm was broken, his elbow completely shattered, he had 5 broken ribs, his spine was fractured in two places, his pelvis was shatterd, his femur broken. One lung was punctured and collapsed, he had internal bleeding into stomach, his renal artery was damaged.

My mum and brother fared better. My brother had quite severe concussion and extensive bruising, but nothing else, my mum also had bruising and a small tear in her liver, but they were otherwise conscious.

After a week, both my mum and brother were discharged from hospital. We found a 2nd hand mattress that we set up in our living room, so that me, my husband, and my son could sleep in there, my brother taking my son's room, and my mum taking ours until dad could come home.

And he seemed to be miraculously improving.

But after a week, we received a phone call at around 3am. Dad had taken a turn for the worse. His heart had stopped twice, and they had made the decision to not resuscitate should it happen again. We should get to the hospital to say goodbye. We were told it wasn't a matter of 'if' but 'when.'

We stayed by his side for 36 hours, telling him stories. Remembering happy memories. And after those 36 hours, I remember the doctor's exact words. "I don't understand what miracle has happened here, but I think you are safe to go home."

My dad is a miracle. He improved. He woke up. 6 weeks later, he was well enough to be moved to a hospital closer to home.

But the trauma of those two months will always stay with me. I can no longer celebrate my birthday because the association and guilt that I was the one who made them stay later, and it was because of me that they were there in the first place, are too intertwined. I have been officially diagnosed with suffering from PTSD as a result of it. Yesterday was awful, but I know tomorrow will be even worse.

Tell your loved ones that you love them. I am fortunate to still be able to do so, but that can be taken away from us in a heartbeat

[mars101]

Act 5: -> Scene 3: Kim Younghoon

WRITTEN PART -> (1.2k) -> no ss after text

june 1st, 2002

hi travel diary i have one word to say as i start this..

wow.

STARTING THIS TRIP OFF WITH A BANG!!!

not literally sadly but idk maybe we'll get there.. :)

anyways so, there was this guy i saw at the airport and… how can someone look this good?? i swear, it was like i was looking at a statue. i think that i literally did stare at him like he was one..

he did look back at me and i winked at him, i wish i had a picture of his cute blush that he got after i winked. he sent me back a small wave and didnt look at me after it though :((

we are going on the same flight so hopefully i’ll bump into him eventually..

July 16th, One day before Yin's Wedding.

After sailing the boat for a while, Juyeon told Yin to stop by the shore near the back of the island. He told her that the four of them were going to have a small picnic.

Juyeon was releasing the anchor, Hyunjae was gathering what they brought, and.. Younghoon was still napping… Yin was lucky enough to lose rock paper scissors and be the one to wake him up.

“younghoon..? we're going to leave the boat now”

“Huh? Oh this wasn't a dream..” Younghoon sighs as he sits up and rubs his eyes slightly. With a tired smile he stands up and looks around, “Oh Yin, where's Juyeon and Hyunjae?”

“already off the boat, come on let's go! you also have to tell me how you met my mom”

“Oh do I?” Younghoon raises an eyebrow as the two of them walk over to get off the boat. “i've already asked hyunjae and juyeon, now i need to hear your story”

As the two meet up with Juyeon and Hyunjae on the beach, they find a spot on a hill with a flat area. Younghoon immediately going to lean on the tree that shades the area.

“Did Yin really ask you guys on how you met Y/n too?”

The other two men looked at each other before nodding, “I mean yeah, it's been years since I talked about y/n so why not” Hyunjae leans forward torwards Younghoon as he talks, “Are we going to get a live retelling on how you met Y/n??”

“Uhm…”

july 15th, 2002

no way…..

TRAVEL DIARY! DO YOU REMEMBER THAT EXTRA HANDSOME BOY AT THE AIRPORT???

WELL HES HERE!!!! i did not know that my luck would be this good during this trip. three men. call me what you want but i am living the dream right now

also.. you know what they say, the third time's the charm ;) ok but in terms of when i saw them would that mean juyeon’s the third man or if i actually talk to them. and i will talk to the cutie by the way, just want to make it clear that this time i will make a move on him.

i am actually a bit nervous this time it is so weird, ew usually im not so hesitant like this i should just do what y/n does and be y/n

(oh god he has me talking in third person)

good luck y/n you got this!!

July 16th, One day before Yin's Wedding.

“Fine. But I'm not telling details-”

“what?!? but they're the best part. at least leave some details in. like what my mom was wearing, how pretty you thought she was, when did you two-”

Younghoon waves his hand around at Yin. Juyeon and Hyunjae are already starting to eat while waiting for the story.

“Alright alright, I'll leave some details in, I guess.. and don't expect much. I'm not a storyteller”

“You will be” Juyeon said before shoving a spoonful of food in his mouth.

“okayyy come on, come on, let's hear it!” yin exclaimed as she got ready to listen intently to younghoon.

“Calm down, Yin. I'll get to it. I think I'll need to give some background first. It was around twenty years ago, and I was on vacation with my parents and their best friends, plus their kids too. I first saw Y/n at the airport, I think?”

“wait does that mean you were the first one?”

“First one to talk to her.. no. but yes first one to see her”

Hyunjae gulps down his food loudly, “I think I was the first one to talk to your mom. Early June was when I met her”

“July 6th for me.”

“Uhm yesterday day, July 15th..”

“happy anniversary!!” the three men all looked at yin with different emotions on their face. “okay sorry wrong joke my bad. you can continue with your story now” yin takes a sip of her water to ignore the stares.

“Alright uh, so yeah, I didn't notice Y/n at first because I was making sure I had everything. But when I did look up and made eye contact with her, I had gotten so shy. I think I had a small blush on my face” Younghoon covers his face in slight embarrassment at the way the three others are listening to him.

“Now, it's a month later, and my parents just told me I'm going to marry a childhood friend and so-”

“Woah woah woah, you're going to just skip over that?? What do you- How did- WHAT”

Juyeon's jaw dropped as he put down his plate for dramatics and put his hands out, reaching for the air.

“Oh right uh, at a dinner with my family and her's, our parents said that.. we were going to get married in a month…”

“What.”

“The.”

“flip.”

“Yeah… my exact reaction, well almost. I was the only one who didn't know, so I ran away. Sneaked on a boat and ended up here on this island. Met Y/n at the hotel from earlier, and she clinged onto me, and we went out danced on the beach, kissed on the beach, and… dot dot dot.”

yin tilted her head in confusion and looked at the other two men who were nodding their heads with a slight smile, “dot dot dot? what does that mean?”

Hyunjae and Juyeon put their hands out for a high five to Younghoon while he replied to Yin, “It's something from our time, I'm not sure if you know about it.”

“but you're saying dot dot dot, how can i not know when it's just dots?”

The three of them start to stand up and stretch as they jokingly ignore Yin, “Alright let's pack up” Juyeon looks at a nonexistent watch on his wrist, “Oh yeah look at the time Yin, your wedding is tomorrow remember!”

“wait but-”

july 17th, 2002

what a night.

younghoon is such a dream. literally. men like him are only seen in my dreams, big sighs ahhhh.

with him, i feel like nothing can go wrong.

like first of all, he's so respectful, offered to pay when yin could literally give it to us for free, always asked me first, and has a fiance.

he's getting married.

younghoon is getting married and not to me.

y/n.. you are so stupid. there always has to be something going wrong in the end, right? just why..?

synopsis = a day before her wedding day, Yin decides to find her father so he can walk her down the isle, the problem? There's three candidates: Lee Juyeon, Kim Younghoon, and Lee Hyunjae.

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