#but still a better choice

[iwatcheditbegin]

The way a month ago I would’ve joked about Haylors still existing in 2023

[allysketches]

gets in charge of the bookshop for 1 (one) day: shows up in a cardigan vest and metal sleeve garters, keeps the shop CLOSED, avoids selling a single book... iconic, truly did THE MOST, 10/10 😩👌🏻

(also, the way he was this 🤏🏻 close to finally achieving the status of house husband he's been dreaming about for MILLENIA just to have the rug pulled out from under him last minute... truly DEVASTATING 😩 my girl really can't catch a break 🤧)

[giantkillerjack]

Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

[liquidstar]

look this site really is awful for ppl with OCD so i just wanna reassure anyone that you are not Tainted Forever for consuming a piece of media with questionable content. the fact that youre able to recognize it speaks to your critical thinking skills, which is good, certain depictions should be critiqued. but you dont need to ruminate on it to the point where you begin to feel guilty for simply witnessing gross or creepy writing choices. you dont have to vindicate yourself to the fictional tumblr discourser inside your head, saying that youre now a bad person bc you watched the wrong anime. your actual response to it still matters of course, but thats that and this is this. just seeing it is neutral, you didnt commit a thought crime. its literally fine.

IF YOU ARE USING THIS POST TO ONLY FURTHER YOUR STUPID PEDANTIC BLACK-AND-WHITE DISCOURSE TO GET A "GOCHA" OVER THE OTHER SIDE YOU ARE THE PROBLEM. DON'T USE OUR DISORDER TO VINDICATE YOUR BEHAVIOR. THOUGHT CRIMES ARENT REAL BUT ACTIONS STILL MATTER. PEOPLE WITH OCD ARE CAPABLE OF THINKING CRITICALLY ABOUT OUR ACTIONS AND RESPONSES, EVEN WITH INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS AND RUMINATIONS. TREATING US AS IF WE CANNOT, ONLY TO FORCE US TO USE YOUR STRINGENT UNNUANCED DISCOURSE OPINIONS ABOUT "PURITY CULTURE" (TRIGGERING TO THOSE WITH OCD) AS THE ONLY REASONABLE GUIDE DOES MORE TO EXACERBATE OUR OBSESSIONS THAN HELP US. YOU ARE THE ISSUE AS WELL. YOU ARE ALSO THE TUMBLR DISCOURSER INSIDE OUR HEADS. DO NOT USE US FOR YOUR DISCOURSE. WE ARE PEOPLE, NOT HYPOTHETICALS TO USE TO EXPLAIN IF YOUR FROZEN INCEST FANFICTION IS OKAY OR NOT. TREATING US AS IF WE CANNOT AUTONOMOUSLY HAVE OUR OWN OPINIONS ON WHEN MEDIA IS TANGIBLY HARMFUL IS ABLEIST. FORCING US TO ABIDE BY YOUR IN-GROUP'S SET OF UNEQUIVOCAL MORALS IS ABLEIST. ACTING AS THOUGH THE ONLY SOLUTION FOR US IS MINDLESS MEDIA CONSUMPTION IN WHICH "EVERY DEPICTION OF XYZ, NO MATTER HOW POORLY DONE OR EXPLOITATIVE, IS ALWAYS OKAY AND IF YOU DISAGREE YOURE ACTUALLY AN EVIL 'ANTI'" IS ABLEIST. THOSE ARE THE SAME BLACK-AND-WHITE MORALS THAT SEND US INTO OBSESSIVE SPIKES, BUT FLIPPED. A SET OF MORALS IN WHICH QUESTIONING THE IMPACT OF A PIECE OF WORK MAKES YOU AN "EVIL CONSERVATIVE PURITAN "ANTI"" DOES NOT HELP MORAL OCD.

YOU ARE THE DAMN TUMBLR DISCOUERSERS MAKING THIS SHIT WORSE FOR US! YOURE THE EXACT SAME BUT WITH FLIPPED BUZZWORDS! YOU'RE MISSING THE WHOLE DAMN POINT!

[tainebot01]

So… how we feeling about these new names?

[dollypopup]

anyone else gonna talk about how Colin is the only member of his family that Anthony doesn't embrace when he comes back

and how Anthony is the hardest on Colin out of all his siblings and the most distant

and how Anthony was the only one who wasn't immediately happy for his brother upon the announcement of his and Pen's engagement other than Elosie (who was upset for different reasons)

and how Anthony then says he has a lot to talk about with Benedict and Colin and ended up knitpicking Colin's actions in his proposal and essentially said 'Well, at least you finally made a good decision'

and how Colin and Anthony have a very evidently fractured relationship that was conveyed just through that one small action of an arm pat instead of a hug

or do I have to go crazy about it all on my lonesome?

[bevioletskies]

gemini & fourth (in every universe) ↳ heart/li ming vs. tinn/gun vs. kongthap/atom + chin grab

"Do you think I don’t feel anything? Do you have any idea how hard it was for me to act like I was your friend today?"

[graveyardcuddles]

Sorry I blew up your steel watch foundry and freed all the political prisoners you were keeping hostage and ruined the grand plan we had been passionately working on together for years thus betraying your ultimate trust in me as the one person you considered a potential equal but hey at least you get the watch me kill you in the Wavemother's Robe.

[demadogs]

There are things out there that our little minds will never comprehend.

DARK (2017-2020)

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Mushroom body

(for @mikkeneko)

[myokk]

Eloise🥹💓

[gunsatthaphan]

match: found. ✔️

[sapphic-agent]

Meanwhile:

We big chillin

[giantkillerjack]

Hey anyone else remember the episode of Adventure Time called "Evergreen" where it's revealed that the original bearer of the crown to whom it was "forever linked" was actually a neglected child (and prior reincarnation of Finn) named Gunter trying to be like his wizard father?? Anyone??? Because I had fully forgotten until re-watching the episode last night and I'm losing my mind about the implications.

(This episode is also a devastating look at how a mistreated child unconsciously learns that he must treat himself and those he has power over as cruelly as he has been treated. Adventure Time has so much sadness and madness, y'all.)

[beneathsilverstars]

speaking of bonnie... interesting how nille's childhood was like "i can't rely on anyone else to take care of me" and bonnie's is like "people keep sacrificing themselves to protect me"

[reindeerswillsavethisworld]

No, but you don't understand, Technus is so fucking funny, and without even trying. Like, imagine telling somebody about his whole deal, it'd be a trainwreck lmao.

"So there's this ghost who can control all kinds of technology."

"Okay."

"He looks like an off brand cosplay of Nikola Tesla and can and will villain monologue you to death."

"Yeah, okay, continue."

"One of his plans of world domination was fully dependant on making his favourite enemies-to-lovers ship canon."

"I'm sorry, what."

The most outrageous thing, tho! The thing that drives me up the wall!! Is that his convoluted plans work like clockwork!!! If Sam wasn't an MVP that she is, then Technus' plan to take over the internet by playing a fucking videogame would have been successful. Combining Technus' technology and Skulker's mastery with weapons was a real pro gamer move, and they did almost beat Danny's ass in under 5 minutes. His plan to distract both Danny and Valerie by matchmaking them was stupid as fuck and yet it fucking worked!! How the fuck did it work.

His downfalls are literally 1) his arrogance, and 2) simple dumb bad luck. The reason why he and Skulker failed was because they both were pretentious fucks and were too prideful to cooperate with each other properly despite literally sharing a body. And if Danny and Valerie were a little less afraid of the other getting hurt, he'd have succeeded there, like, for real-real.

His failings more often than not are really just unlucky coincidencies. What a loser lmao.