#but still not worth losing the good parts

[ybklix]

homewrecker!

part one / PART TWO ★ pairing: hwang hyunjin x fem!reader x lee minho

✦summary: The game was fun, the secretive game of an affair with an older man using you as their toy in the hot and bright summer, so everything was perfect until someone decided to lose, involving feelings.

♡ genre - warnings: MDNI 18+, smut, bit angst, dilf hyunjin & minho, softdom!hyunjin, dom!minho, cheating, age gap, handjob, oral sex, rope play, daddy kink, pet names, unprotected sex, creampies, deepthroat, protected piv, fingering, sex toys, gaslighting ?

₊ ⊹ word count: 16.6k

masterlist - taglist ⭑.ᐟ

playlist: sad girl by lana del rey ♡ is there someone else? by the weekend ♡ criminal by fiona apple ♡ the other woman by lana del rey ♡ cry baby by the neighbourhood ♡ illicit affairs by taylor swift ♡ say my name/cry me a river by the neighbourhood

divider by roseraris

It started as something simple at first, the idea of having you went to Hyunjin’s head and suddenly he couldn’t stop, his big problem was that he fell in love too fast. All his life the only woman he treated especially was his wife, after her no one caught his attention beyond just knowing their names and being merely kind and humanitarian until you came along. Suddenly his whole perfectly ordered life changed completely. You recognized that Hyunjin had a beautiful heart, leaving aside the fact that he cheated on his wife and it was absolutely an unforgivable act among many other misfortunes, but he was cute, kind, cared about you, showered you with expensive things, was quite the gentleman, after all he was older than you, had more experience, delighted you with so many pleasurable emotions, long panting nights and the most divine sex you could ever have, yet he was on the same level with Minho, as you could not choose with whom you liked to do it more.

You really believed that your situation with Hyunjin would be a one-time thing, something so exclusive and unique, an unforgettable experience, which it was, sex with him was like you had never experienced before, your first time was so desperate but sweet, as if both of your bodies were eager to meet, to collapse and have each other. When you ended it, you even got sad, not because of guilt, but because of the fact that maybe that could be the first and last time you would have Hyunjin, yet he took care to make it more than clear to you that he didn’t want it to be a one-time thing, subtly letting you know it between shy flirtations every time you had alone time at your sister’s house.

You never thought that, what you assumed to be a quiet summer at your sister’s husband’s house with her little stepson, would be for you a series of hot, fortuitous and indecent encounters with two married men. You were so amazed, you felt on fire every time you dressed up to see yourself with one of them, so secretly and vulgarly. And all thanks to the incredible rush of desire that filled your body, making you give oral sex to someone you should have never even seen in the first place. And you had to admit that at first you found it very hard not to fall in love with a man like Hyunjin, he had it all and was absolutely someone worth your time to meet, he was so soft spoken, his conversations were interesting, he had such a shy, tender and naive personality but something about him exuded so much confidence, it drove you crazy, he knew what he was capable of, he knew he was still young, just a little older than you, and he was in all his abilities to make you feel so good.

And after countless nights of incredible sex, little by little you sensed a feeling that you were forced to put aside, you were getting attached to Hyunjin and he was getting attached to you. It was impossible not to. You still remembered your first meeting, in that luxurious room, making you feel like a first class prostitute in a way since there was no one to fool, more than the rest of the world, you were about to have sex with Hwang Hyunjin, a married man you just met but you couldn’t avoid the immense sensations that suddenly tormented your body.

Hyunjin was out of his mind every time he was with you, as if he was a new person, he knew how incredibly wrong he was, but he wanted to have you and taste you entirely, he wanted to satisfy himself as much as he had never felt before.

You saw his adorable smile, a whole series of problems were triggered from there, he said, “I rented this room to be more comfortable, I hope you don’t mind.”

It was a freaking penthouse. You toured the place with your eyes, breathless. Of course you were fine, you were about to fuck in a king size bed with an attractive, interesting man and not in a small college dorm room with a guy your age who was almost behind in all his classes.

You were slightly nervous and smiled back at him, moving closer to him and hugging his abdomen. Hyunjin became a little nervous at your touch and you found his reaction so cute. You raised your eyes to look at him.

“That’s very nice, thank you.”

You thought the room would be a one night thing, just like that first time, but later you realized that he had rented it for a while just for your encounters, leaving you speechless.

“I want to do all the right things for you” he confessed, so sincere, caressing your face between his big hand.

The irony in doing the supposedly right thing with you by doing everything wrong. Whenever Hyunjin was with you there was no one else, he let you practice with him absolutely everything, as he knew he would take great pleasure anyway.

“I can’t wait to see it... all the good things” you replied, your cheeks growing warmer and warmer, “I think you still owe me something.”

“Ahh, yes” he replied, settling his body more comfortably between your arms and sticking closer to you, now holding your face with two of his hands, “About that…”

His hands were so warm, and the rings decorating his fingers were still the same temperature, both of you were already warm despite the cold atmosphere of the apartment and you saw his appetizing lips and handsome face move closer to you, trapping you in a kiss, the sensation descending from your mouth to your stomach, causing a tingle you had not felt in years. It felt so good. You closed your eyes, enjoying every soft rose of his plumpy lips colliding with yours, you were entering that zone so hastily, heating up your body more and wanting to get naked instantly.

Everything was sweet and tender until he gradually toned up, playing with you and introducing more of his tongue, doing it with a passion like you had never been kissed before. You were getting restless, Hyunjin knew so well what he was doing that you even felt like a first-timer at kissing, something as banal as kissing suddenly became the best sensation. You had never been touched like that, you were getting more and more excited; his soft nose caressing your face, the edges of his glasses touching your face and the play of breaths between hot and wet kisses, neither of you wanted to separate from the other, each kiss was better than the previous one, his lip control and strong jaw sent shocks and pleasurable pangs in every part of your body. You were so lost in him.

Separating slightly only for lack of air, you noticed an excited Hyunjin, leaving for a second his sweet and tender look that he always brought behind his glasses, appearing a darker and of desire under his straight and thick eyebrows, you wanted to fall before him, you were so surrendered that you couldn’t stand it anymore, you watched his chest rise and fall with intensity and looked at him expectantly, waiting for him to say something so he did:

“Are you going to let me reward you tonight? You were really great that time, baby.”

His voice and warm breath heated every part of you, the way he moved his full lips as he spoke… you really were jealous that he wasn’t yours, wanting to show the world that he was the one man who made you so happy… and you hadn’t even fucked him, yet at that moment.

You nodded at his question, with a mischievous smile and looking him straight in the eyes and with your pupils dilated as if you were at the peak of some drug that was driving you to the clouds.

Hyunjin moved his hands down from your face to your ass, massaging and squeezing it, lifting your tight skirt up your body, finding his hand with your skin and the fabric of your panties since you weren’t wearing anything underneath but your underwear; he licked his lips, drawing you more and more into his body and you quickly got the idea to keep pleasuring him just like the first and last time you had him, at that time.

Your restless and slightly trembling hands reached for his belt, he noticed your intentions quickly and looked at you expectantly doing so raising his thick eyebrow slightly. You lowered your gaze to his already noticeable erection which surprised you every time, for your second time with him, you were still not used to the speed at which a handsome man like him reacts to you so quickly, getting aroused immediately, it seemed like a dream, one in which only you and he existed. Your pussy and heart were pounding, you wanted to have him already, just for you, moaning pleasurably in his manly voice about how much he was enjoying being with you in something so forbidden and improper. Seeing him finally, you were also unaccustomed to the large, protruding bulge, again projecting in your mind the image of his well-endowed penis and remembering the feel of his stiff, delicious cock in your mouth entwined on your tongue, your mouth salivated and every part of you reacted anxiously again mind. Hyunjin wouldn’t let that smug smile off his face, he was so engrossed in your face and your hands struggling with removing his belt, once you succeeded, you stroked his erection between his pants, rubbing your palm hard on it, to which Hyunjin reacted by closing his eyes in pleasure and biting his lip trying to hide the desperate desire he had to use his cock and stimulate it all over you, but he resisted, letting himself go and running his tongue around his cavity, mischievously once you unbuttoned the button of his pants and tentatively slipped your hand inside it to caress his member further.

“You want to taste me again, don’t you, my pretty little doll?”

You looked into his eyes again, the sweet tone in which he spoke had awakened in you even more desire. You lowered your gaze again, his huge bulge bulging in his open zipper, tight against the soft black fabric of his underwear, you thought of nothing else but the incredibly sweet and handsome Hwang Hyunjin, so willing to you with his super big boy-making machine, the thought of his cum in you drove you crazy and turned you on even more. You nodded once more at his response, impatient to do so and unable to speak, you didn’t know what to say, you wanted no other sound in the room but his own manly sounds of pleasure and heavy breaths.

“Did you really like it last time?” he said again, still in a smug tone and taking your chin gently to look into your eyes.

His gaze was darker than the last time you saw them until just seconds ago, his sweet countenance was slowly fading, watching you with pure desire; Hyunjin couldn’t remember the last time he felt absolutely absorbed by sex, with his heart outside his chest, all of him so tense, so rigid and able to fuck for hours, it was as if all his discharge was about to be released, all the unsatisfied nights about to be fulfilled in such a dirty fantasy and taking it out on you.

“Y-yes” you replied, almost breathless and slightly embarrassed that it came out that way.

Hyunjin didn’t resist, finding your response so adorable, your big eyes begging for sex and every detail of you unhinged him in seconds, moving closer to you and kissing you again, slowly catching your lips, gently, softly, still holding your face as his tongue slid nimbly into you, so artfully caressing his tongue with yours, never leaving the feel of his fleshy lips on yours, he kissed so well, you had never paid attention to the details of a good kiss until being touched by him, it was as if you had only kissed out of commitment, because it's like an automatic thing where things worked but you had never stopped to think about how much you enjoyed it, when it was being well executed, each shy but bold movement of his mouth was perfect.

The sound of both mouths colliding made you pleasantly restless. The seconds turned into long minutes as you were desperate to feel it. His other hand was resting comfortably on your lower back, and as he pulled away, you noticed his lips glistening at you.

“Then do exactly what you would like to do, princess.”

He was splendidly ecstatic and you were barely touching his erection on the fabric of his boxer briefs, but he was more than sure of the incredible and delicious experience that was about to take place and how he was going to feel.

You were desperate yet you shyly pulled his cock out of his underwear, stroking it and still looking into his eyes just the way he liked it, you began to stroke him thoroughly, masturbating him with both your hands on his pulsating organ full of energy and load to be discharged, ready to be used, you felt his exposed length, his uncovered skin so intimately being caressed by you, taking it from his glans, stroking it gently all the way down the rest of his cock, pulling and touching everything in its path as you witnessed the inevitable pleasure Hyunjin was receiving, making sweet moans of satisfaction.

Your pussy reacted harder, you needed him now as you had never needed someone before, the sensations were getting more and more intense, you bit your lip, imagining desirously the feeling of his cock filling every inch of you, but you wanted to suck him at the same time, you didn’t know what was happening to you, it was like you were ovulating but 10 times worse, maybe it was just the fact of having Hwang Hyunjin that made you like this. On the other hand, you could notice how he was willing to do all that for you…. he was letting himself be touched by you, he was on the verge of collapse, being so stimulated but it was a painfully pleasant delight, his mind was working on his triggered hormones that were taking care of his libido and arousal, but at the same time that smart, mature brain was thinking from time to time how bad that was, how much he had to stop just now… but he was already doing it, the infidelity and sin were already committed, he had already acted impulsively by renting a place to sin and commit atrocious acts behind everyone’s back… why would he stop right now if you were an extremely attractive young girl willing to please him and work on the pleasure of both, Hyunjin was in his never-ending internal war, that’s why the process was painful but extremely hot.

You could feel his needy expression, his tongue running over his lips, it was making you hotter the fact that you had that version of him, a poor and defenseless man in need of sex, looking for an easy way to free himself, it was very clear to you how easy and naive you were acting, besides wrong and inappropriate in every way but honestly you didn’t care, at the end of the day you would seek your pleasure and you would not finish until you were completely satisfied, it was going to be an unforgettable night for you, your hand was already on his cock, you already had the man yielded and surrendered to you with his soft expression on his face while you were already starting to get on your knees without wasting any time.

You slightly pulled down his clothes to finally see completely what you were about to entertain yourself with for a very sweet time and saw for a second his erect member move gracefully as you let go of holding it for a moment, to later hold it again and finally bring it closer to your mouth while every part of your body throbbed in excitement like you had never done before, this time it was stronger than that time at your sister’s house and less risky, because while the adrenaline and risk of being discovered that time did not compare to the comforting feeling of being absolutely alone without being interrupted and that after oral sex you could simply go on and on, or so you hoped, Hyunjin was so fucking eager and full of energy to continue as many rounds as necessary because just now there seemed to be no end to it.

You stuck out your tongue to slowly savor his length, playing with his tip, making smooth little circles on it, playing with your saliva and his precum, making him shudder and moan in between gasps, Hyunjin was in paradise right now, at least in the sinful and tentative pleasure filled paradise, the sensations filled his body, traveling from his sensitive cock being stimulated and spreading down his abdomen until they reached every corner of him, bristling every hair on his body, the idea of having another woman other than his wife filled him with such inexplicable pleasure, the idea of something forbidden filled his veins completely, it had been a long time since he had been sexually pleasured, no one had been given the task of satisfying him with such patience and tranquility as you were doing just now, taking your time licking his entire length, playing with the rest of his cock, with the feel of his skin in your hand, with your mouth taking it completely and caressing the softness of your cheeks and lips. He was crazy.

You felt that tickle in your nose as it stretched from trying to open your whole mouth so you could take his erection completely, you were already being so weak in your first seconds, tearing from your eyes, crying from your sensitive genitals desperate for action, still you found your rhythm, moving your head all over his cock in a perfect bobbing motion that made the poor needy body of that man whose mistress you turned into, slowly suffer, slowly bringing him to his orgasm. You had your fun, looking into his eyes with his manhood in your mouth filling every part of your cavity, drooling at the satisfaction of both of you and flooding the place with his gasps.

Hyunjin was a bit noisy, you thought, and you complained absolutely nothing, his moans motivated you more and more, you wanted to see him cum, you wanted to make your little mess with his cum in you, you needed it, you were so desperate to have something from him as sadly deep down you believed and recognized that it was the only thing you could get from him or someone like him, his countless sleepless nights of pleasure and eroticism.

He held your hair, gently guiding and pushing from your head as he grunted so close to his orgasm for you, he was sorry, he wanted to stop, to tell you to stop so you could let him use your pussy and start fucking you… as he feared he could never be this erect again with that same fucking Viagra quality intensity. Instead, Hyunjin started babbling, letting himself be carried away by your warm tongue and mouth taking care of something so intimate to him. Finally he threw his head back cumming in exasperation as you felt the intensity of his sex throbbing and like a good girl you waited for all his discharge on your tongue.

Hyunjin saw in a blur, he was in heaven but it still didn’t compare to the image he would have of you on your knees, surrendered to him, so he went back to his position to watch the scene of his cock collapsing and spilling all of him on your restless tongue, reaching his orgasm.

When he finished and you swallowed it all quietly, you stood up again and stared at him. You were so excited and desperate that if he touched you suddenly you could fall into a thousand pieces. You were a little bomb about to explode. Hyunjin caressed your cheek as he saw your piercing dark gaze, he couldn’t resist any longer and it was as if his fear had never happened, he became erect and hard again at his unstoppable imagination and desire to have you.

He took it upon himself to delicately clean around your mouth stained in his white semen and the small mess combined with your saliva, running his thumb over your skin to then move closer and kiss you, tasting himself, witnessing what he was capable of on that very night.

His kisses trailed down as he gently held you by your neck, you were being seduced by his gentle movements until he slowly made you get undressed, lifting your blouse and removing your bra; you had absolutely no problem with him seeing you naked, you wanted to be so vulnerable for him if only for one night. Hyunjin played with your breasts for a while, he licked and sucked your nipples until he left them sensitive while you tried not to moan so loudly, once he left your sensitive skin slightly red as a sign of being well stimulated, he smiled arrogantly, and kept lowering his mouth and warm breath that before you knew it, he was already squatting, doing exactly the same process you did with him, pulling down your skirt and panties, taking with his fleshy lips all over your pussy, kissing your mons pubis and focusing on your clit, sucking on it. You lowered your gaze, trembling and moaning to find the sweet scene of his nose colliding with the skin of your pubis, his soft black hair and his mouth trying more and more to take you completely.

Hyunjin smiled at the feel of your throbbing sex on his tongue and wanted to eat you whole, but once again he was so desperate that he wanted only to make sure how very wet and ready you were to finally get his cock ready for you. But you held on to him, getting weaker and weaker and moaning louder and louder as his tongue skillfully traced strokes through your slick, stretching more of his muscle to encompass more of you, you felt the vibration of his insides as he was savoring and tasting you completely, his whole body filled with pleasure as he tasted again the very sweet and young womanhood, to which in the process of his complete relishing, he hummed in pleasure.

Suddenly you felt the softness of his fingertips playing with your entrance, by then you knew exactly what was waiting for you, so you closed your eyes and bit your lip letting yourself go, letting that married man insert two of his fingers into you at your tight entrance because of your standing position, a gasp escaping from your lips, feeling the tension in your body grow but at the same time feeling a relief, as it was exactly what you wanted from the beginning, his long fingers sliding into you, knowing how to please you.

“Hy-yunjin” you moaned his name as you felt the tingling inside you deepening.

His fingers were long and of perfect girth, they went into you perfectly, suddenly you were full, with his mouth on your pussy and his fingers fucking you. He would part your folds with his free hand and every now and then he would stroke his sensitive cock as eating you stimulated him too much and feeling his fingers wrapped around you made him crazy, you didn’t think you could hold out that long, his tongue moved slow but his fingers were so fast and skillful they made your walls vibrate, it was a different rhythm but perfect, you were feeling so good, your nipples were getting hard and the knot in your stomach started to appear and when you were lubricating yourself more and more, moaning louder and louder, feeling orgasm near, Hyunjin withdrew his fingers from you leaving you feeling a huge emptiness for long and whining seconds, he also pulled his mouth away and laughed softly but in a teasing tone.

That was the first time he was 'spontaneous’ like that and the first time in all your encounters where he provoked you so much to the point of denying you an orgasm or stopping you from having one.

“Pretty doll, I think you’re ready to take me now, aren’t you, my good girl?” he said, still with his smile lifting his gaze and gently stroking your folds making you sigh.

You almost trembled at the sound of it. He was about to do it and it turned you on again. You nodded softly, lost in the desire in his dark brown eyes, your breath already heaving.

Hyunjin stood up again, staring at you as if to seize you, and kissed you passionately again, this time in a more desperate act and pushing your body gently until he guided you into the bedroom. Your eyes were closed, letting yourself be carried away by everything he was doing to you, but you felt him pull away from you and your legs bumped against the edge of the bed and as you fully opened your eyes you saw a restless Hyunjin gesturing for you to lie down on it.

You were impatient too, your whole vibrant body was, so agitated to finally commit the even greater sin. To top it off with the best.

He was so hot despite the pleasant temperature of the place that he was even slightly starting to sweat, so almost in a quick and reflex movement, you watched Hyunjin take off his buttoned shirt desperately, but doing it so nimbly with his long fingers and finally, you observed his lean and subtly worked body, his smooth shoulders and smooth muscular arms accompanied by noticeable veins. You slowly lay back on the bed, shyly spreading your legs as you watched his intimidating naked figure in front of you. His notorious, pink, long, and veiny cock, his smooth abs, you were at such an aroused point that every part of you was throbbing hard and you began to watch almost in slow motion Hyunjin’s steps to go to the nightstand, caress his well-foreplayed cock and put on a condom so latex-thin still letting you appreciate the details of rigid masculinity.

He was already more than ready because he knew that night you were going to be his only and when he finally approached you, the fear and excitement grew, you hadn’t thought it, but Hyunjin was huge. Every inch of his pumping sex lined up at your entrance, whose glistening, swollen pussy Hyunjin appreciated, running his fingers one last time in it to then take his cock.

His body moved closer to yours, your eyes couldn’t miss his long length but as you felt his warm, heaving breaths close, you sought to see his face.

“I’m gonna fuck your pretty pussy, fuck baby, is that alright?” he whispered licking his lips so lasciviously without even waiting for an answer as his tip was sliding into you.

His slim build over yours aroused you, his voice, his dirty little comment and the fact that he was already inserting himself inside altered every function of your brain. You nodded in desperation.

“Yes, Hyunjin, yes, please” you gasped as you squealed as his cock stretched your entrance.

You squealed as you felt your walls making room for his swollen cock and arched your back in desperation as you felt him deep inside you, letting out a choked moan. Fucking your pussy was a nice way of putting it, Hyunjin was slowly tearing you apart.

Hyunjin saw your naked body in a submissive position ready to receive his cock. He luridly watched his glans entering you, your little pussy stretching as more and more went in. He groaned too at the fluffy, soft feel of your insides, still struggling to adjust to his size. Somehow he was so fucking ecstatic and proud, to see you almost sobbing and the way your face reflected surprise, pain and pleasure was almost to him artistic. Wasn’t his cock all you’d been acting a little loopy about anyway? Now you had to take it so well. So he thought.

“I'm going to move, gorgeous, okay?”

Once again you nodded and Hyunjin took pity on you, leaving his beastly carnal desires behind and that night he almost made love to you. His thrusts were slow and deep, his whole body enjoyed being in sync and closeness with you. He breathed in your scent as he pounded your pussy and rejoiced in the sound of your skins colliding and your soft moans. You didn’t expect him to do it this way, but it felt so good, it tickled deep inside you and slid deliciously into your walls, Hyunjin had incredible control in his hips as you clung to his back and smelled the sweet scent of his long dark hair.

As you joined faces, you reflexively took off his glasses, appreciating his handsome masculine face, so defined, his slanted eyes, his plump pink lips… all while he kept on ramming you, you kissed him, you couldn’t help it, it was a dream, a man really fucking you for real, not doing it desperately in senseless and frantic movements. You really didn’t expect it, you thought he would take all his frustration out on you and use you like a rag doll but no, Hyunjin wasn’t like that, even with his mistress, and another woman, he was a real gentleman, looking out for your pleasure as well.

That night you saw stars like you had never seen before, you swooned under his body, you climaxed at such a high point. You wanted to do it every day, you wanted to kiss him and see his face when you woke up and when you slept, you were so crazy that you even suddenly wanted a life together with Hyunjin. But too bad for you.

Hyunjin cum in the condom still in you after rhythmic thrusts, rubbing his naked abdomen against yours. In a delicious grunt you were never going to forget.

But that was only the encounter of many and after that, Hyunjin would take you out on dates so as not to look so desperate or so bad that only the two of you would hang out at the hotel waiting for sex, for he was still a gentleman, an unfaithful one but one who knew how to treat a woman well.

     ⊹　 ︶︶　 ୨୧　 ︶︶　 ⊹ 

However, not everything was as sweet as Hyunjin’s artwork. You began to suspect the sweet feelings Hyunjin had for you after Minho started to suspect you had someone else, someone else to have fun having sex with and filling you to the fullest, which burned with jealousy in him, as he believed you were just his, his beautiful little toy that he took away from society 3 times a week and fucked her dumb. A possession and prize for him after pretending to be a perfect husband to someone whom he believed she was gradually ceasing to love.

In Minho’s own words, grabbing you roughly by the face with his hand to make you look him in the eyes, while he was teasing you with his hard cock between your folds about to enter you, “Why would I fuck you sweetly? If I wanted to do it that way then I fuck my wife. Look at you, you’re such a little slut, fucking a married man for pleasure, following him into the fucking woods, bad little girls like you deserve a lesson.”

Every cutting, insulting word from him shouldn’t have turned you on, but it did. Maybe you liked to suffer a little and perfectly balance Hyunjin’s sweet sex, with Minho’s rough treatment.

With Minho it was different, he went straight to you after the first time you fucked, asking you if you wanted to continue doing it with him to which you shyly answered yes, with a smug smile he took you to your sister’s house after leaving you completely fucked and shaken, still on cloud nine.

And the agreement was simple, 7 days a week and being married men with families, being absent every day in their homes would look too bad, so, life gave you one more chance to take advantage of such a risky situation. Both men could not see you on what they called a family Sunday, more so for Hyunjin who used to attend church, but for Minho it was a day when he, previously, used to have fun activities with his family, taking his wife and children to small trips, encouraging happy recollections and memories to his little son, besides that it used to be a day when his wife did not work, but everything had changed, even before fucking with you and being unfaithful, Suji was not available or enthusiastic to do those little activities, yet Minho took care of both of them children and took them to fun activities in the city or out of town on his own.

So, Monday, Wednesday, and Friday were days dedicated to Hyunjin, and Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday were for Minho. You felt so bad, but so good, when you completed your first week of madness, getting pleasure from both sides every day, you were shocked at how fast your body was recovering and you were getting more and more ready and thirsty for more and more. You had a slight fear of ending up addicted to sex, but you couldn’t help it, you were so young and capable that you could just do it all the time, at least with them.

You didn’t know much about Minho, nor do you now. You didn’t know what his real intentions were beyond just sex but you were already riding in his car about to pull away from society at his cabin. He was so reserved and spoke very little, it was hard for him to get into trust with people but in your extra time, in the sweet time you treasure as your sweetest prized possession, are the memories of the little moments you spend with him after sex, where sometimes he turns tender, apologizes to you softly for being rough while whispering, among one of his things “Daddy is here to make you feel good”. The memories where he would invite you into his kitchen to join him and watch him cook as he slowly reveals details of his life.

Minho’s simplicity drove you crazy. His serious and mysterious countenance, but the fact that he is a simple man full of sexual appetite, willing to risk his life to spend a few hours with you… thrilled your naive and young heart.

The idea to go to the cabin was clearly his. At first, you found it strange but exciting. Minho had bought it to treasure it as something familiar, like a beach house, but this was more him, the Lee’s cabin. Minho bought it as a wedding gift in his third year with Suji, but she hated it slightly, claiming it was more a place for him than for her, as she was well settled and adapted to the city, the darkness of the forest at night terrified her and because of her busy job she couldn’t get out of the city that much. Minho expressed his dissatisfaction with his wife’s glamour and how it became exaggerated. Still, Suji spent some time with him there, then showed herself completely uninterested in accompanying him to what he only used to take his son to, walking him, taking him fishing, or camping.

You had so many questions, but you were saving every one of them. You didn’t want to say something that he would take it the wrong way and suddenly stop talking to you completely. One of the questions that was on your mind was… if Suji and he seemed so different, how could they even get married? Their goals seemed to be so different and every time Minho said something about her it seemed as if she hated him, but he ended up saying that’s just the way they were. The complications of marriage were so much for you, who had never fallen so hard for someone to fantasize about spending the rest of your life together with that person.

But sometimes… just sometimes, you tried to put yourself in their wives’ shoes. And you had to admit that you were a soulless fucking son of a bitch. You suffered nothing. You didn’t bear the pain or responsibility of carrying their children. You were just being “rewarded”, god knows - even if you weren’t the most religious - how much you might have to pay later for the consequences of your actions.

There was a big discrepancy between Minho and Hyunjin, but you couldn’t deny that Hyunjin let you learn so much from him, as he was always the first, and he was the first in everything, or at least in your hot and fierce encounters as you used to start your week with a full dose of him. He would let you explore his body and yours, he would let you know how exactly he liked things and where exactly he felt the most excitement; he was so sweet and it was all about effective communication to result in the most delicious pleasure for both of you.

Hyunjin would show you how to move, whispering softly and encouraging you, which made you so horny and flushed in the face from how much you were enjoying it. He would guide your hands and body where to touch, your mouth what to taste, suck, lick, and nibble subtly; skills you would later put into practice with Minho and exasperated amidst the delight of sexual activity he would babble to you, “Fuck, kitten, where did you learn that from? You do it so well.” You were more than happy to be Hyunjin’s star student.

Minho, despite being cold and distant, his intentions with you did not go beyond those attitudes, he was with you for his continuous battle of hormones and thoughts, to release in you all his pent-up frustration, but he was careful with what he did since unlike Hyunjin, Minho didn’t dare to take you out in the daylight in the city, so better both of you would step aside to enjoy your moment alone, he would take you to the small town near his home in the woods where people rarely knew him and give you the most pleasurably steamy sex.

It wasn’t something he always did in every one of your encounters but Minho liked to tie your hands, to restrict your movement as he watched your fucked face crying for more and more. So it was something he did, sometimes he dressed you in nice lingerie so he could cum on the thin pieces of cloth that minimally covered your body, or sometimes he left you absolutely naked, ordering you to stand still without moving and putting your hands back while he tightly bound your wrists in a skill he had with knots.

You moaned at the sensation of the rope squeezing and rubbing your skin as you were uncontrollably aroused. You couldn’t help it, you were slightly familiar with rope play, when certain toys were used for sex, domination, fetishes to call it a certain way, among other things, but you had never experienced it, no one had ever been so creative and open with you sexually. Until you met Minho, a very peculiar man who hid all his desires under an attractive and demure image of a simple family man. He came up to you and kissed you passionately, you enjoyed every second of it as he rarely kissed you and you felt that he had to be the one to come up and do it. You were even left wanting to feel more of his lips, innocently seeking his touch as you reached out a little for your neck once he was slowly pulling away from you, making him smile at your act.

Minho made you call him daddy when you were having sex, to obey him and now he was tying your wrists together as he put his warm hand on your shoulder gently pushing you onto the bed once he finished tying you up, making you face down.

Minho prepared the sex toy he was going to use on you, filling you with lust using your young body for his experimentation and pleasure. You watched him take a vibrator in his hand and position himself on his knees on the bed beside your naked, tied up body.

You were so fucking aroused, your pussy slick, and your heavy breathing pressing against your chest against the bed.

“Did you buy it for me, daddy?”

Talking to him like that turned him on so badly, and it seemed so dirty to you that you liked to play along.

“Of course I did, little girl. You know how much I love to play with my pretty doll.”

Minho smiled, mischievously. You observed his complexion and the large erection trapped in his pants. You bit your lip. You were beginning to lose your sanity and he still hadn‘t touched you. Until he did, pulling your legs apart and starting to run his fingers through your slick, reaching down to your sensitive spot and making you weak from his lightest touch.

“Oh, kitten, why are you so wet already? If daddy just started touching you… Tell me what you were thinking, pretty girl” Minho whispered the last sentence, pushing the loose hair away from your face so you could get a better look.

The strokes of his fingers on you became more consistent, making you moan audibly.

“About… you, daddy.”

“About me how?” he blinked with sudden fake innocence as he suddenly pinched your clit, causing you to flex your legs in response.

You looked straight into his big brown eyes, you didn’t understand how such a sweet look was wanting to torture you a little.

“About how you touch me…”

“Ahh, I see” he spoke, almost downplaying your comment, “You like it when I make you feel good?”

Minho rubbed his fingers all over your labia spreading your slick fluids one last time and massaged your ass before taking the bright pink toy.

“Come here, turn around, kitten” he ordered you softly.

Minho took you tightly by the shoulders without hurting you and with a little help from you, you turned your body, leaving your hands slightly uncomfortable behind on your lower back, with your body on top of your arms. You watched him take the vibrator and turn it on.

“Open you legs, sweetie.”

You swallowed nervously and obeyed him, giving him the full view of your exposed vulva. Minho smiled mischievously again at the sight of your exposed, glistening genitals.

“You’re so pretty, my doll” he commented in a raspy voice.

You bit your lip as you watched Minho hold the device and bring it closer to your entrance, he licked his lips as he gently inserted it, watching the chunky but small object slide easily inside you, as you instantly felt every stimulation on your walls and he settled the rest of the toy between your folds to leave another part of the device on your clit. You gasped loudly, the vibrations were so intense encompassing every part of you.

“Did I put it in you right, honey?” he asked softly to which you awed at his concern.

You nodded, trying not to squeal in excitement, but it was in vain, your walls and clit were vibrating non-stop, you were building your arousal slowly, tensing every part of your body, from your still arms under your body to your restless legs twitching at the pleasure.

Every muscle in you suddenly felt so stiff and the intimidating image of Minho were not helping you at all, you were being so ridiculously stimulated that you thought you would collapse at any moment, you were dripping in fluids, you felt them sliding into your labia majora, making a little mess on Minho’s sheet. You whimpered, building your orgasm closer and closer.

“Are you enjoying it, honey?” Minho brought his face close to yours, brushing the tip of his sharp nose with yours, “You have to tell me when you’re about to cum, okay?”

His eyes grew wide, watching you warningly and intimidating you.

“Yes, daddy” you whimpered.

You whined for yourself, the vibrator was filling your pussy and stimulating your clit and every inch of your vulva successfully, you raised your pelvis in desperation, the ties suddenly felt so infuriating. But Minho silenced your stifled moans in a savage kiss, playing with your hard nipples and squeezing your breasts. And moments later, you felt it, your fluids leaking out of you, your body getting more restless and feeling the tension in your muscles more intense, you were about to cum.

Minho felt the force of your collapsing body and pelvis twitching almost looking for a way out of the constant stimulation your body was under, so he pulled his lips away from yours and immediately when he did you whimpered:

“Daaddy, I’m abo-ut t…. please.”

You couldn’t even speak. You wanted release in your orgasm and from the bonds in your arms.

“Good girl. I think you’ve had enough for now.”

Minho pulled away from you and deftly removed the toy from inside you. Leaving you with every hair standing on end near your orgasm and an empty sensation, but still spasming from the vibrations. You moaned softly as the device slipped completely out of you and Minho tossed it already turned off to the side of the bed.

“Okay, up up up, kitten” Minho bit his inner lip, helping to support your body so you could sit up.

Once again, you let him help you, you were agitated and confused, about to cum with intensity that you weren’t thinking clearly what was next or what his next move might be, Minho tenderly caressed your face as you looked slightly tired and you knew immediately as soon as you saw his hands on the button of his jeans.

You came back to your senses as you saw Minho’s well erect and rigid cock pointed directly at your face.

He grabbed it almost from its base, to direct his glans to your face and spread his glistening precum on your lips.

“Come on, little girl, get daddy’s cock ready with your pretty little mouth before you take it. Open wide.”

You tasted his cock and Minho almost pushed it all in one gentle thrust leaving you breathless. You looked into his eyes, in a pleading way. Everything inside you burned with lust, every time you were with Minho you couldn’t help but feel like a little toy for the purpose of his own pleasure, it was almost as if you ceased to be human and desire consumed you completely.

Your eyes began to water, you were losing your breath, your stability and your mouth was dripping as the inside of your cheeks and palate remembered every vein of his thick cock gently entering your throat. Minho watched you expectantly, holding your jaw and the back of your head. He moaned at the sensation of your cavity surrounding his cock, the softness of your palate and the graze of your teeth as his length gradually filled your throat. The veins in his neck became present, he was truly enjoying it and when he felt he had touched a sweet spot in you, he began to move fucking your tight mouth and throat.

You cried out in desperation and moved your agitated torso, unable to hold onto his thighs because of your tied hands, he was in complete control of you. You felt your heart pounding intensely, shortening your breath.

Minho wiped away your tears, ramming you thirteen more times until he left your organ aching and pulled out of you, with a cocky grin. You breathed again.

“Lick it, kitten.”

He asked you, your jaw and throat were sore, but you did your best to run your tongue along his pumping length.

“You’re behaving so well, now face down again, pretty baby, get your little pussy ready for daddy.”

You were slightly exhausted but with every muscle in your pussy throbbing, you were so eager for an orgasm.

“Arch your back and lift your ass, good kitty.”

You did exactly his every command, with all your muscles tense, you couldn’t see anything, your cheek was glued to the bed but you perfectly felt his thick cock stretch your entrance as he sought to penetrate you.

You whimpered again, Minho exasperated relieved to have his hard cock between your walls, deep inside you, it was like his reward after a long day. He thought how good you felt and that all the sizzling foreplay was something he couldn’t do with his wife, but that’s what you were there for. To enjoy some very long lasting sex full of provocation.

Minho started ramming you deep and bestially, babbling almost furiously how much he was enjoying it, holding onto your hips, moving every inch of your insides in a wild pounding and bumping of skin on skin. You were so weak, if you could barely support yourself on your knees and arch your back properly.

“Don’t you love when daddy fucks you hard like a fucking slut, huh? Oh fuckkk, I’m gonna cum inside your pussy, baby.”

You moaned louder as you felt his deep thrusts and his warm cum spurt out of him inside you followed by his deep gasps and heavy breathing and unexpectedly, your walls squeezed his limb, finally releasing you in your long awaited orgasm. You were breathless. Full of…

“Full of daddy’s cum, my kitty” spoke Minho proudly, sliding his length from you.

You were tired, that you wanted to relax your back, but Minho’s hands kept holding your hips, to see the spectacle of your used and quivering orifice covered in his white cum. When he had filled with his dirty show and mark on you, he let your body fade away and untied your hands.

“Aren’t you perfect? You’re so young and sweet, you never seem to get filled.”

You felt the release and circulation of your upper limbs again. You smiled happily. You had enjoyed it too much.

Minho carried you lightly, turning your body again. You watched him lewdly again, you felt less submissive once you could use your hands and noticed how well erect his penis was again, he undressed his body quickly, bringing his strong frame close to yours.

You loved the difference between the two men, Hyunjin was leaner, but Minho had smooth and noticeable pecs and stronger arms. You were aroused again.

“Fuck, baby girl, I need you again” he moaned, stroking his cock and bringing his face close to yours.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, stroking his straight dark hair. You looked up at him, more boldly with a cocky grin.

“I need you too again, daddy. I want you to cum all over me.”

Sex with Minho was so dirty, rough, irresponsible and unapologetically.

But Minho’s perspectives and intentions changed completely once he began to suspect that you were hiding something, he felt it initially but tried not to take it importance, he knew there was a little secret in you of which he wasn’t entirely sure what it could be about, but he found out one Wednesday afternoon when he was so particularly needy and needed to take it out on someone of which that person was you. All that Wednesday he kept thinking about you, it had been a long and heavy day that, although he didn’t like to confess it that way, he urgently needed to be in your arms, he fantasized hard about what kind of activity and process he could control and subdue you, testing your pleasure and a little of your young body’s stamina, just as he loved it.

It was one evening, about to get dark while you were frantically making out with Hyunjin in his car facing some random alley, on your way when Hyunjin came to pick you up at one of your secret spots, a random library where you lied to your sister that you had to go for certain college supplies. You both couldn’t resist and he stopped the car to start kissing and touching you, almost to the point of starting to have sex there, you were enjoying it, the feeling of his desperate lips against yours and his restless hand seeking to stimulate your clit under your skirt, of which you had decided to play a little dirty today, not wearing underwear for your lover.

“Mmm, baby, please don't do this me… you're not wearing panties? Why…?” whispered Hyunjin drunk in your kisses, still with his eyes closed and near your lips, surprised not to feel any fabric covering your pussy, other than the soft skin of your public mound.

You smiled guiltily and felt his finger caress your clit. Hyunjin’s erection throbbed in the firm denim of his jeans. You couldn’t help it, you loved how incredibly big Hyunjin looked, without needing to be hard, so you stroked his bulge.

“You were all the time waiting for me with nothing under your skirt? You’re a very very bad girl…” he whispered again, catching your lips and grabbing your neck, nothing short of taking you and fucking you in his car.

The tension was growing more and more, his tongue was getting more and more naughty in your cavity… but to your bad luck, you forgot to silence your phone, so the thunderous sound of a message notification slowly drove you away.

First it was a message. You didn’t care but the sound became insistent. Hyunjin moved away from you slowly, returning to his place as a driver and moving his hand away under your skirt. You pouted.

Hyunjin closed his eyes deeply and shook his head, returning to his sanity of not being able to fuck you in broad daylight in an alley that was public road.

“You must answer, it seems to be important.”

“It’s nothing, I just forgot to put it on silent, Hyunjin, plea-” you leaned in again to kiss him, not taking your hand off his erection, but another notification sound interrupted you.

“It’s okay, sweetheart. I can’t fuck you here anyway… Let me buy you some dinner first, okay?” he told you sweetly, taking the wheel and pulling your hand away from his cock and leaning over to give you a soft, tender kiss on the cheek.

You nodded resignedly, watching him sweetly and Hyunjin started the car. You took out your phone without a problem, but you almost turned pale when you read what it was about. 10 messages from Lee Minho. You looked at Hyunjin in fright, but he didn’t seem to notice your nervous expression as he kept driving so attractively and calmly.

You opened the chat with curiosity, that Minho was not usually so insistent.

Where are you? I want to see you Now Are you at chan’s house? I’ll pick you up Wear something nice😉 It’s gonna be a long night Why don’t you answer? I want to see you Can you today?

That day you answered him that you couldn’t. Minho called you instantly, but you ignored each of his calls, the next day was so bad for you, he wanted to know what you were doing, asking you like a normal person, but you lied slightly nervous that you had some night courses at the university and you couldn’t see him. But Minho still suspected something and that made him uneasy. He took the moment to spank you and remind you how available you must be whenever daddy needed you, but even with the hardest smack you couldn’t tell him you were with Hyunjin.

That Wednesday was also not particularly sweet for Hyunjin once he arrived home as nervousness and guilt consumed him like never before. Hyunjin was comfortably buttoning his loose silk pajamas, sitting on the edge of the bed ready to sleep, he had taken a long shower even though he had already done it at your apartment, but if he didn’t it would be suspicious since he was supposed to have come in extremely tired from overtime at his job where he had accepted a program where he educated newbies and stayed extra hours to plan the activities they could do… a lot of bullshit, he had the time of his life eating you whole and tasting every part of you. So in that intimate moment for him with the water pouring over his body, where he thought about you all the time even as he closed his eyes, all he saw was you, he was a mess because of you, you made him smile like a fool without realizing, that if he barely remembered he was about to sleep in the same bed with his wife.

But his smile was gently wiped off his face when he felt his wife hug him from behind, surprising him. Yeji felt the softness of Hyunjin’s pajamas and settled her face on his shoulder.

“You must be so tired… you work so hard, how many weeks has it been already since you’ve been staying late?” she spoke softly kissing his neck.

Instead of thinking about how many days he had been lying to her and dating you, he thought about when was the last time Yeji had come close to touching him, in a more daring way. Hyunjin knew her too well, knew the intentions of her hands caressing his chest and the tone in which she spoke.

He remained unresponsive to her. Still with so many thoughts suddenly, he had the slight feeling that even being his wife, her touching him felt so wrong.

“I have to tell you something I found out,” she said again.

Hyunjin’s body tensed as he recognized the seriousness in her tone and he turned his body to look at her, but he couldn’t meet her eyes.

Yeji had had such a peculiar afternoon and she had to tell her husband. Hyunjin saw her, her serious countenance suddenly formed a smile, confusing him.

“I didn’t want to tell you but… I went shopping today and the employees kept telling me if I wanted another pair… that you had already been there, shopping.”

Hyunjin’s heart stopped for a second. He was thankful that everything he gave you was a surprise gift and that he never took you to the stores, his guilty mind put together in seconds the scenario of his wife going shopping and the gossiping employees telling her that he usually takes another woman. Hyunjin got scared and reflected it softly on his face to which Yeji noticed it, so she ran her hand along his arm, innocently thinking that he got nervous after discovering a surprise for her.

“It’s okay, I’m very grateful, honey… but had second thoughts. You work too hard and we can save the money, I think the kids will need it more than I need another pair of fancy shoes.”

Hyunjin sketched a smile, his heart racing and feeling like the worst man in the world, like a criminal on trial pressed for his crimes. He watched his wife’s sweet smile.

“Ah, I see, so… do I return everything?” he replied nervously.

“I don’t want you to feel bad, honey, but it was seriously a lot of expensive stuff, I was impressed.”

And none of it was for her. Yeji approached him still with a smile. It seemed strange at first… but her brain connected the dots that her husband was so busy that he even stopped giving her his little details like the weekly bouquet of flowers he used to give her, so he wanted to reward her in an ostentatious way.

“It’s okay, darling I understand” Hyunjin answered her still agitated but relieved, trying to ignore her dangerous and seductive closeness.

“Although… the limited edition Versace bag? Really, baby? For me? There was only one in the country. Mmm, maybe I can keep just that one. Thanks.”

Hyunjin almost trembled, yes he had acquired it, but for you. He was about to give it to you for your date on Friday, but at least he would have a chance to give it to his wife and not look entirely like a villain. He let out a nervous smile, he had already imagined the sparkle in your eyes when you opened the gift, which now could no longer belong to you.

She moved closer to him, pressing a kiss to his unmoving lips as he didn’t reciprocate her first move.

“But… I haven’t seen any of those things here, where do you have them, huh, Hwang Hyunjin? Since when did you get so good at hiding things?”

The irony of her sentence made him flinch, he was so surprised and scared that he couldn’t react to the fact that his wife was doing her best to touch and provoke him.

“When was the last time you fucked me? I need you, Hyunjin” she whispered seductively in his ear, her arms around his shoulders.

“Yoojin is sleeping” he replied quickly like a robot, almost automatically, motionless, surprised and without even the slightest reaction to his wife’s soft kisses on his neck.

Hyunjin stared at his son’s crib unfazed by Yeji’s attempt at sex.

“Then we’ll be very quiet…” she whispered, panting and excited.

He let himself be carried away, feeling absolutely nothing and thinking about you, thinking about how he had to be more careful… or whether stopping seeing you would be the best option, he thought about the love he had for Yeji, about every single detail that kept him in love for more than 10 years… but why suddenly he couldn’t get you out of his head. Hyunjin knew it, he was falling in love with the wrong person.

Hyunjin dropped his body on the bed, his head on the pillows as Yeji settled on his cock and moving on it. But Hyunjin was so lost, his mind was gone and for some reason he couldn’t get hard.

“I love how big you are” moaned his wife as she felt his soft cock rubbing against her pussy.

Hyunjin thought with a smile at how often you used to tell him that too and how it boosted his ego. He continued to kiss her, following everything almost on automatic without the slightest feeling and after a while of constant motions, a frustrated and aroused Yeji moaned:

“Mmm…. Hyunjin, baby… why aren’t you getting hard? Don’t you want to… do it?”

Her sentence made him see her eyes for the first time, she sounded so disappointed and her small face reflected concern.

“You must be tired, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to force you…” she said again, stopping moving.

She was about to take herself off, but Hyunjin quickly grabbed her hips.

“Yes, I must be tired, but let’s try, honey. I need you.”

He lied, nothing about her was getting him aroused. So he psyched himself up, thinking of everything in order to get hard and the image of your young body couldn’t miss in his mind. It worked like magic, he was so erect all of a sudden that his wife smiled in satisfaction. She acted fast, pulling down the soft fabric of his pajamas and pushed aside the thin fabric of her panties, lifting up her silk nightgown and letting herself fall on her husband’s cock. Hyunjin let out a stifled moan as he suddenly felt her insides around his hard cock. And with all the pain in the world, he took his wife’s body, enjoying her movements on him, but fantasizing that it was about you. That it was you, being able to fuck him at any time without restraint.

Hyunjin cum in her after Yeji rode him just the way he liked it, in the most perfect way since she knew so well how to take his cock, Hyunjin had missed that so much… but sadly he was already consumed by something else that he almost came to gaspingly babbling your name.

She smiled, happy, still with his limb in her and gently collapsed her body on Hyunjin’s chest, feeling his heaving chest. Hyunjin began to stroke her hair, thinking and thinking about how much he shouldn’t have to think about you, why you couldn’t leave his mind for even a second. He was being consumed, this time he couldn’t even feel guilty, he was ceasing to be human, he thought.

“I didn’t know whether to tell you since he’s your friend, but…” Yeji started to speak softly, catching Hyunjin’s attention who had his forearm behind his head to rest on it and was looking up at the ceiling, gone, sex with her had been so different from how he remembered it, “Have you talked to Kim Seungmin lately?”

“Seungmin? No. What’s wrong?”

“Well, I have, I had because I decided to switch classes, a 23 year old yoga instructor, she started at 22 and was reserved and quiet, she was a nice girl but, apparently Seungmin and her are now in a relationship, which is fucked up because his wife was in that class and he used to drive her and pick her up. The girls and I assumed that they must have known each other there”

Hyunjin opened his eyes in fright and could only say “Ah…”

Yeji felt her husband’s chest vibrate as he spoke and instead of controlling his heartbeat, it seemed to speed up.

“Isn’t it fucked up? That little bitch, homewrecker. Anyways, Hayoon is heartbroken… I can’t even imagine, I’ve been thinking about it a lot.”

“About…?” questioned Hyunjin, almost breaking out in a cold sweat.

“Infidelities. It’s just that they looked so happy, we went to their wedding, remember? How come they decide to leave everything for someone younger? At least they didn’t have kids. Like Chan and Sana and that girl…”

“Chan was divorced when he met Missy” Hyunjin quickly replied, almost defending him.

Yeji looked up, settling her head to look directly at Hyunjin.

“Yeah but, she never wanted a divorce in the first place, who assures you that he didn’t meet her while he was married… that makes me so uneasy.”

Hyunjin looked into her eyes again. He knew exactly that it affected her and had to distract her to make her divert her thoughts and not have even the slightest suspicion that he was unfaithful because he was very clear that he wasn’t going to let you go.

⊹　 ︶︶　 ୨୧　 ︶︶　 ⊹

Minho’s problem was that he was too curious and in his craziest thoughts came the idea that filled him with rage, that you had someone else, that cheating and lying was something so natural for you because of the circumstances in which he knew you; so Minho had two options for you, you saw a guy your age, or you saw Chan. Crazy, but his brain worked fast at the idea that Chan was an older, attractive man just as he was, plus you were often involved with him…. Minho could not believe the cynicism in your body if the theory that you were sleeping with Chan was true because, if Minho’s wife was a complete stranger to you… but Chan, Minho was not mentally ready to face the truth if the truth was that you did not feel even the slightest regret for cheating on your own sister. You would lose the respect he had for you if he ever confirmed it.

Minho acted fast that Friday, two days after slightly suspecting it, as he overthought in his house with his foot twitching nervously.

“Suho, don’t you want to visit Chase?” suddenly blurted Minho to his son, who tenderly colored something.

His big brown eyes lit up at the sound of his little friend’s name.

“Really daddy? Yes!”

And in quick strides, carrying Suho in his arms, Minho was already with a racing heart ringing his friend’s doorbell. He put Suho down and waited for an answer.

If you weren’t lying, you would be at the house, since you had awkwardly told him the day before that you wouldn’t be doing anything and that you wanted to spend time with Missy. Besides it was 6pm and it was very common for Chan to already be at home at that time… although he didn’t see his car anywhere.

Minho was… extremely alert to every detail. With his eyes wide open so as not to miss anything. He was acting impulsively but something in his gut told him something was up.

Missy attended, giving him a warm smile at the sight of her husband’s friend and his young son.

“Oh, Minho, Suho, hi.”

“Hey, Missy. Suho wanted to see Chase and… I have to go out for a moment, do you mind if…”

“Daddy but you told me if I could…” spoke Suho innocently about to reveal his father.

“Is Chase here?” interrupted Minho suddenly, gently holding his son’s small shoulders.

Missy looked at them strangely, but smiled.

“Sure, he can stay. Suho come on in, Chase and I were just watching a movie.”

“Okay! Bye daddy!” exclaimed the happy little guy, giving a little bow before almost running inside to find his friend.

Missy sketched a smile at Minho once they were alone face to face, she reacted quickly and felt she was being rude so she was going to invite him in but Minho, with his big eyes full of feigned innocence stepped forward.

“Seriously I hope it’s no bother, I have to go out for a while and Suho couldn’t accompany me. Suji went to her mother’s house with Minji.”

“Oh no, not at all. They are very well behaved kids” she smiled.

Minho returned her an automatic smile, raising his high cheekbones, noticeable for miles that it was fake. To which Missy noticed how strange his behavior was, but Chan used to tell her that’s how Minho used to be.

“But it shouldn’t be tiresome, your sister is here, right?”

Minho asked carefully, ready to hear an answer.

“Y/n? Oh no, lately she’s going to college for some summer courses she took at the last minute.”

Minho’s blood almost rushed out of his body. The lie. It was the lie. The excuse you used to say when you were seeing him… why would you use it another day? What were you hiding? Minho clenched his fist, it was starting to bother him that you were acting behind his back and more so if it was about what he already suspected.

“Oh really…?” he tried to hide his anger, “And Chan is here?”

“No” she made pursed her lips, ”He’ll be late because he has something from work.”

Minho gave a half smile, raising his eyebrows, incredulous at how crazy it sounded, neither of them were home, god that could only mean one thing to him and suddenly his body burned with fury.

“Ahm, are you sure I can leave the boys here with you?”

She smiled softly, “Of course, Mr….. L… Minho. They’re good kids, Chan will be here in a few hours.”

“And Y/n?” blurted out Minho suddenly to which Missy raised an eyebrow.

“She’s sleeping over at the college dorm.”

Minho nodded, desperate to act, “Okay, thanks, I’ll be back in a few hours for Suho.”

And just as she closed the door on him and he walked out of the Bahng’s property to go to his own and quickly grab his car, in an impulsive act he dialed Chan.

Every second of waiting was torture for him, until he picked up.

“Hey, mat-”

“Where are you now?” interrupted Minho.

It took for Chan two seconds to process his friend’s tone.

“Almost across town, working on a case. Do you want to meet us…?”

“Where exactly?” he interrupted again.

Minho licked his lips impatiently, his brow furrowed and his breathing warm and heavy.

Chan gave him the address somewhat quizzically, “Why? Is something wrong?”

Minho ignored him and thought about how long he could make it from his house to where Chan was.

“I’ll go over there.”

And Minho hung up, starting the car furiously with his hands clenching the steering wheel. He wanted to confront his friend first if it was true, he knew him, he would know when he was lying.

And on the way, he called you. Who you were getting ready for your date with Hyunjin at his apartment. You were comfortably putting on your makeup when you read the name of the contact and your breath shortened. You decided to answer out of curiosity, since Minho wasn’t calling you regularly, plus Hyunjin was taking a shower to get ready as well.

“Yes?” you answered nervously and hesitantly.

“Where are you now?”

You noticed the beaten and annoyed tone in his voice, giving you chills.

“I’m with some friends” you lied naturally.

Minho let out an airy chuckle in disbelief and scoffing.

“When are you done being with them? Or where are you, I want to see you.”

His words were so cutting somehow.

“I can’t today… I’ll sleep over with them…”

“Then you prefer your cute sleepover? Let’s see each other or I’ll end this, I want you now. Not tomorrow. Now.”

You blinked in confusion, trying to process his insistence, you were about to respond, you really couldn’t. Hyunjin had been planning this outing with you for a while now and you didn’t want to disappoint him or lie to him too much. And suddenly you saw him enter the room with a towel around his waist and his hair slightly wet.

“I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

And you hung up, ignoring him and smiling at Hyunjin. He looked so good, looking for his clothes half-naked with a white towel covering his penis, which part of his body was marked on the fabric. You could take him there right now, but you didn’t want to ruin your makeup and time was running out for both of you.

Yeji forgot everything as soon as he gave her the bag she wanted. That Friday Hyunjin had an art exhibition of some acquaintances, but at the same time it was his wife’s grandmother’s birthday, so like the tender woman she was, she told him he could attend the gallery and she would visit her family with the kids on the weekend. Hyunjin took the opportunity, inviting you, going incognito and under the facade of being a student working in his company that at the same time you were also persuading a position in art. So everything would be so secret, you couldn’t hold hands or kiss in public but one of the things that turned you on so much was doing it hidden from everyone.

Minho on the other hand cursed, feeling useless not being able to do anything more to see you. He kept calling you, but you kept ignoring him again, he wanted to teach you a very good lesson but in the meantime, he arrived at the place where Chan was. And there was no trace of you. Minho questioned him, gently implying that you were a very attractive young woman, but Chan was modest and respectful about it. Minho inspected every part of the place, without giving Chan a single explanation, and as the necessary time passed, he immediately left looking for you in the hotels near the area. But nothing. His frustration grew… he thought for a second that maybe you were telling the truth… but it was hard to believe and even more so with the concept he had of you. Minho knew something was going on. If not Chan, then who? He was going crazy, about to cry with frustration and hatred, he had never felt like this in his life, he felt pathetic, looking for you everywhere, asking for a young, pretty girl with your characteristics, like a complete desperate madman.

And in the torment of his thoughts, Minho stopped his car and pulled over. He had nowhere to go. He didn’t have the slightest idea where you could be and you kept ignoring him. He was so upset and frustrated that, he did what he never thought he would do, tears began to fall from his face as the broad raindrops hit his car hard. Minho sobbed, despising every inch of himself, guilty. Thinking of Suji’s bright smile and the life he had built with her. Of all the times he would get jealous when she had to act in a romantic role and she would in the most genuine, sweetest way tell him it was just work and he was the true love of her life. Why would he do that to her? Just for a little sex? He didn’t hate you this time. He released his frustration by crying, his sobs getting lost in the sound of the falling rain.

He felt stranded. Wondering what the fuck was he doing? What would having you lead him to? That this was all his fault, that you were a promiscuous young woman in search of pleasure, that soon you would get bored of him and leave him, making him cry more, because, deep down he didn’t want that to happen. He loved Suji with all his being… but the feeling was now strange and foggy and no matter how much he thought about it… he wasn’t willing to leave you. He loved you too. He felt cheated and betrayed, it was driving him mad that there could be someone else in your life, making him feel like a damn narcissist and sociopath. Him being able to live the double life, but not letting you do it.

And he cried again, tears wetting his manly face as the rain left certain revelations in its wake… like the fact that he always cared about you but repressed absolutely everything, played hard to stop facing reality and not feel like an animal, a real discord, but he liked you, loved you, your presence was so sweet and innocent, like fresh air after an exhausting day living the adult life. He knew that his heinous acts had no excuse and no forgiveness… but then… what was there supposed to be? He didn’t want to lose you. He didn’t want you to have someone else. He just wanted to know the truth.

You on the other hand had a nice night, by Hyunjin’s side, but distant. There were times when you were happy… and times when you felt like the other woman, like when they happily asked about his wife and kids and you were… literally nobody to them.

On the road you were somewhat pensive, fantasizing the perfect life next to Hyunjin, but it made you extremely sad that his life was already made. He had already built it, a house, his children, a steady job and you… you were nothing to him but a toy which he liked to show off discreetly since… you were nothing to him in the public eye, a toy which he used for his pleasure. That hurt you quite a bit coming from Hyunjin, because there was something about him so sweet that you loved, but you thought that after all… he wasn’t as sweet as you thought and you were just being brainwashed.

In your madness… you asked him about his children, if they were cute and sociable kids… Making Hyunjin’s heart almost burst out of his chest, implying that you were willing to know more about his life. Hyunjin unlike Minho, he considered himself absolutely lost in you and admitted it. He liked you so purely, he wanted to know everything about you, he wanted the perfect life with you.

And he convinced himself in his sick brain that… it was just the hard time when you met, but you were destined. You instantly retracted, thinking that you must also think it was just for pleasure.

But you couldn’t help but not get attached to the men who had you often and pretended to love you and take care of your body.

⊹ ︶︶ ୨୧ ︶︶ ⊹

The next day, it was Minho himself who cancelled you seeing each other; upsetting you a bit because you remembered a little about his annoying comment in that it would be the last time you would see each other.

Minho didn’t accept his feelings. And he felt completely pathetic for crying, especially crying for you, so he decided to… walk away.

So, he wanted to relax a bit, asking to see his friends, which he did. Having a few cold beers while they talked, but as much as he wanted to hide it, the great feeling of anguish in him had a name and it was yours. He just couldn’t get the fact that you had someone out of his head and already drunk, he started saying nonsensical things.

“Hey, Chan, are you sure Y/n doesn’t have a boyfriend? That girl…”

“What about Y/n?” blurted out Hyunjin, earning the stares of the other men and Minho looking at him with narrowed eyes, “She’s a nice girl” excused Hyunjin as he felt everyone’s stares.

“Well, you never know man, she’s a young woman” Chan replied interrupting, “Why the curiosity?”

Minho didn’t react and didn’t know what to say. But Hyunjin interjected them.

“Guys, I really have to go. It’s Saturday, I should be with Yeji.”

His friends thought him cute for his comment since Hyunjin had confessed to have some issues with his wife and his friends encouraged him to fight for his marriage, them not knowing that the background of the comment was so she wouldn’t suspect that he had another woman, so he spent the days he didn’t see you with her.

“Can you drive?” asked Chan worriedly.

“Yes, I’m fine” he replied more relaxed.

The party was over once Hyunjin left. He returned home, still slightly dizzy but once he took a cold shower, the drunkenness left his adult body and he couldn’t help but think of the most delicious shower sex he could have ever had, which he had with you yesterday. He needed you. Now. And not just sexually, he wanted to hold you until you fell asleep on his chest like he loved, he wanted to see you when you woke up, when you slept, he wanted to support you in everything, to be with you while you did something from college, to learn to cook together… why couldn’t he have that life with you.

Hyunjin walked with slow steps out of the bathroom, already wearing his pajamas and saw Yeji’s silhouette on the bed. He couldn’t keep doing that to her. He was already in love with someone else and he couldn’t pretend anymore, he sighed, nervously, thinking that if she was asleep… he would tell her tomorrow, but to his surprise, she was awake.

Yeji leaned back against the backrest and gave him a smile.

“Mmm, you’re a little early this time, it’s barely midnight. Come to bed.”

She had barely arrived from her grandmother’s house in the afternoon and barely saw her husband, so she wanted to be in his arms. But Hyunjin didn’t want that anymore.

Hyunjin approached the bed, with no expression on his face, almost confusing Yeji.

He sat on the edge of the bed, looking into her eyes.

“Hyun…”

“Yeji. We should get a divorce.”

Hyunjin plucked up the courage to tell her, he couldn’t stand the fact that you felt sad that you had to hide from everyone and just be a mistress.

She looked at him gently confused and then terrified, her world suddenly came crashing down.

Hyunjin was ready to share his life with you because being with him implied so many things, he was ready to tell you that he loves you.

⊹ ︶︶ ୨୧ ︶︶ ⊹

For Minho, the sedative effect of the alcohol didn’t last long either, he was anxious again, insecurities and urges attacked him again. At least he wanted to know the truth. He wanted to know who was occupying a place in your heart or in your body, he needed it to know, he was desperate.

So, he didn’t enter his home, he stayed in front of Chan’s house, not caring that he also just arrived. Minho called you.

You were enjoying your Saturday, with the bedroom curtain open and watching movies on your laptop that you had forgotten it was getting late. It was already Sunday.

You were ready for bed, you had made yourself comfortable and decided to relax a bit, because if you didn’t stay distracted your mind was bouncing like a ping pong head from one man to another… and almost as if you manifested it, Lee Minho appeared as a call on your phone.

You blinked in confusion, as he sounded serious about telling you that he didn’t want to see you the last time he called you….

“Hello…?” you replied.

“Come out, now. I’m outside your house. I need to see you.”

Your skin bristled, he sounded so serious, sad and genuine. He had never used the word need. You looked towards the window, it was starting to rain heavily. Minho’s patience ran out.

“Get out. Now.”

“But it’s raining…”

“So? You won’t walk far, I’m waiting for you in my car.”

“It’s late…”

“Why do you keep bringing up excuses not to see me?” he blurted out annoyed, then sighed, as he noticed how insistent he was being, “Just come out, I need to see you. Missy will understand you ran away to see some douchebag your age, you’re young, for god’s sake. I’ll wait for you.”

Minho hung up, leaving you confused. You bit your lip nervously and grabbed the first oversized hoodie you could find, the umbrellas were at the entrance and you would exit out the back. So you slipped on some sneakers and covered yourself with the hoodie from the rain, sneaking out and creeping out the back, until you rounded the house and almost running in the dark, you spotted through the rain Minho’s truck, climbing in quickly, soaking wet.

Minho almost smiled at the sight of you… but remembered, he was there to confront you. And he wouldn’t be gentle with you about it, he never was.

“Sorry, I’m wet” you said, taking off your hood and looking at him.

Minho looked handsome as always, but he looked like he had been out somewhere, dressing up and smelling nicely. And there you were, almost at 1 a.m. riding in Minho’s car, without even thinking about it, because you recognized that…. Minho could do a lot of things against you. Because you liked him too much, maybe a little more than Hyunjin, because there was something about him that attracted you to him fatally. But he didn’t seem to care about you at all, hurting deep inside you. Oh, but you had no idea how unhinged Lee Minho was becoming.

Minho had his hands on the steering wheel, looked straight ahead and then slowly looked at you, at first all normal except for his discomfort… but something about the hoodie you were wearing seemed so familiar. His mind instantly visualized Hyunjin seeing that black hoodie; Minho frowned, finding it ridiculous that it looked exactly like a hoodie his friend had that he remembered perfectly because he had borrowed it from him once a few months ago, but Minho had washed it and returned it to him, only Hyunjin’s had his initials embroidered on the left sleeve, H. H. in white because Hyunjin explained to him that Yeji had some of her children’s clothes embroidered and the hoodie got lost there, so she asked them to put H.H. on it as a cute little joke.

Minho examined you incredulously, his heart beginning to race… wondering if by any chance… Hyunjin and you…

He couldn’t believe it, he almost laughed at the insanity of his thought, that it was a stupid black hoodie, still, almost panicking, he looked down just to check and there was the answer to all his questions, the two damn letters of his best friend embroidered on the left sleeve.

Minho raised his gaze quickly, catching your eyes, his big eyes almost trembling in stress and suddenly became bright, almost on the verge of tears. Minho averted his gaze quickly, so obvious that something suddenly happened, worrying you and leaving you confused.

He felt so betrayed, it was his karma; his breathing shortened and his sight didn’t linger on anything specific as he was busy connecting the confusing dots that could indicate that all this time you were Hyunjin’s lover too. Minho thought, destroyed, about Hyunjin confessing to be having problems with Yeji, you wearing his hoodie, Hyunjin being unavailable on certain days…. Minho could hardly believe it. You were the little home wrecker who interfered between Hyunjin and Yeji. He never saw it coming from Hyunjin.

“Is something wrong…?” you whispered softly since you noticed Minho completely gone.

He softly denied, “No” he stammered.

His mind kept thinking that it was one of his best friends who tested you every day so well, that you played so well with him as much as you liked to play with him. You couldn’t find the right words to say as it was quite obvious that it looked as if something was going on and you started to be concerned.

“Minho…”

Minho ignored you completely and started the car, not knowing exactly what he was doing.

“You had something to tell me…? Are we going somewhere?”

He ignored you again and drove on in the heavy rain, you were starting to get a little upset.

Minho didn’t know what to do or why he was even driving… what was he supposed to tell you now that he could face you and knew the whole truth.

“I think it’s raining a lot, we can stay here for a while…”

Minho stopped short, startling you and causing your body to go forward from the sudden movement. He turned to look at you and a wave of sadness and anger washed over him.

“Hyunjin? Really?” he mumbled in annoyance, piercing you with his gaze.

You almost sighed in astonishment, wondering if you had heard correctly.

“It wasn’t enough for you to fuck up my life now you went and fucked up Hyunjin’s too!” he shouted, his voice rising higher and higher, “What the fuck is wrong with you?! Hyunjin knows that you fuck me too? You thought you could live in your fantasy by fucking two men, what were you thinking, stupid kid?!”

Minho yelled at you, annoyed, claiming thing after thing you were trying to process. Your heart pounded and you felt so intimidated by his eyes getting bigger and the vein in his neck standing out as he yelled at you.

So he knew… how? you thought. Your breath hitched and you felt the sudden pallor of your body. Your voice cracked instantly, if you spoke you were going to stutter, you were a mess all of a sudden, thinking why was it making him so angry anyway?

“You’re not going to say anything?!” he shouted again, tightening his grip on the steering wheel, “How can you look me in the eyes after what you’ve done? Or do you even feel anything at all?”

It was funny… that the coldest person would suddenly talk about emotions.

“Minho…” you tried to say, you were scared but a part of you felt like you didn’t owe him any explanation.

He sighed, frustrated running his hand over his face.

“You really were a fucking whore, shit, all this time I was telling you as a joke, but… two men at once?” he laughed mockingly, “You didn’t answer my question. Hyunjin knows you’re fucking me too?”

He railed with hatred his every word and turned to look at you in a way he had never done before, you felt judged and dirty, that your eyes were starting to water.

“No…” you replied with your voice breaking on the verge of tears.

Why it was so difficult for you. As much as you denied it and lived in your illusion trying to convince yourself that you only used them for sex, you were a naive young girl, that with time and the fact of seeing them often, sharing small moments together, you came to involve feelings, you came to love them passionately, you got to arrive at your sister’s house with a knot in your throat every time one of them left you blocks behind the house so they wouldn’t see them, you got to feel pathetic while crying because of the confusion and addiction of wanting to keep seeing them, even when the only way to do it was to get sexually involved with you, because you wanted the warmth of their bodies close to you. But none of them were yours.

Minho watched as you began to cry and something bigger to him came over him, it was anger, sadness and pity, you had him all messed up.

“Don’t cry” he said coldly.

His cold tone detonated your crying more. You had it all with Hyunjin, you didn’t understand why you punished yourself so much by loving Minho and his cold personality… but you felt so stupid to think you had it all, you had nothing, they were men with their lives made, you were nothing but a brat attending college, you had nothing but hours of them where they used you for sex, you had nothing but a passionate fake love because you weren’t sure what or how they were feeling. And that was exactly what you didn’t want to involve, feelings, you didn’t want to think about them, you didn’t want them inside you, you wanted a good time with them. Sometimes you wished you were a machine with no feelings, that it was exactly what you thought you were for them, but every time you felt like that was what you were for them, your world became miserable. You didn’t know what to think of all the sweet moments and details of Hyunjin and your unexpected closeness and trust with Minho that was just now breaking down.

The cruel reality of many things you were avoiding was hitting you hard just now.

“Fuck, don’t cry, don’t play the victim… everyone here is guilty” Minho mumbled again as you stopped seeing him clearly because tears were filling your eyes, “I guess you’re happy with whatever you wanted to achieve, you know Hyunjin is getting divorced? That’s what you wanted? You fucking homewrecker!”

“What?” you sobbed in confusion, the ending echoed in every part of you and you were shocked at his comment as you wiped your tears in vain because they wouldn’t stop coming out.

You were shocked wondering if Hyunjin was about to give up everything to be with you and the thought terrified you. Missy would hate you, Chan would hate you, Minho would hate you, you would have no one but Hyunjin, you loved him, but you hadn’t wanted to face that reality. You thought about him and if the sudden news that you were also sleeping with Minho would affect him just as intensely, and and the top of all, you felt so lonely and cold, crying in front of the man you loved without him having even the slightest reaction to you… you understood it all, Minho never really cared about you, you thought; so why was he complaining about you… had it hurt his ego?

Minho lied, exaggerating his comment just to make you feel worse because he was still a bit bitter, he didn’t have the slightest idea if Hyunjin was getting divorced… and if he was about to do it in order to be with you it was a trigger to cut friendship, he would never forgive either of you if you ended up together. The advantage was… Hyunjin didn’t know that you were with Minho, or at least Minho thought so as an advantage, but Minho’s big problem was that he loved you, but he wasn’t willing to leave Suji or his life with his children for you… he still didn’t assimilate that truth. He didn’t want his children to be separated from their mother -or father, as he was the one guilty-, he didn’t want to create a drama among all his circle of acquaintances… but… if you confessed to him right there and then, that he was the one you chose, you would touch his deepest point and he would leave everything just to be with you, Minho knew he would do it no matter how tough a man he acted.

You didn’t want to hurt anyone and you were slowly destroying everything in your path.

Minho was still upset and as much as it hurt him to see you cry, he wanted to release all his anger.

“Ah, Y/N, what were you thinking, huh? How did you think this was all going to end? Did you think we were going to be happy and have a fucking threesome? Get out of your fucking bubble, say something, now. You’re nothing but a mistake I wish I’d never made. The worst part is, I was stupid enough to think you cared” he blurted out, not measuring how very hurtful it might have sounded to you.

“I have nothing to apologize for all… this… this… wasn’t just my fault.”

“No shit. It was ours for falling for someone like you.”

This time you looked away from Minho, unable to believe that you still loved him and all you wanted was a hug from him, or how you held on to the hoodie, feeling Hyunjin’s scent and missing him like never before because you knew he would say the sweetest things.

“Besides I don’t understand why you’re so upset? If it was always just about the sex, I don’t understand why you wouldn’t react happily to the possibility of more sex and a fucking threesome, isn’t that all I’m here for?” you defended yourself, with your voice shaking.

The tension was felt in Minho’s rain-confined car. He was so upset… but not upset enough to ask you to leave and not to see you, he still wanted to see your eyes glistening with tears and your fragile body sobbing and begging to be touched, purely… but something in him stopped him, he couldn’t admit, how much he loved you and that he just wanted you to stay away from Hyunjin, or any other man.

“It’s not just sex…” he whispered, drawing the attention of your sobbing body, “At least not for me and I don’t think so of Hyunjin either… if he ever finds out, you’re going to break his heart.”

You wiped away your tears which were slowly ceasing and looked at him in confusion because he suddenly looked relaxed and his gaze softened on you. You understood Minho less and less.

“Just… you have to leave Hyunjin” he said more seriously.

You nodded, not because you listened to him, but because leaving them both would be the best option. You had no future with either of them no matter how much you loved them, they would all end up hating you. Tomorrow you would find a way to look for Hyunjin, to end your little game that was going to extremes.

“And I have to leave you too” you whispered.

Minho closed his eyes deeply and pressed his lips together, as it was something he didn’t want to hear. He sighed, looking out towards the rain falling on his window. He muttered, almost to himself

“I trusted you. Hell, I loved you. But all along, you were sleeping with my best friend. I didn’t lose you-I lost everything.”

Your eyes traveled quickly all over his silhouette, on his perfect sculpted profile, his long eyelashes and jet-black hair slightly illuminated by a single lamppost from outside. Your heart pounded again, not sure if you heard right… but there was no sound, other than of the drops hitting his car.

“What…?” you whispered, feeling your world spinning, you didn’t want him to say it, you’d hate him if he did… that after all he did.

“I love you. What are we going to do?”

Minho turned to look at you, again his piercing gaze searching your eyes, but something about him looked so soft. You hated him. You thought he was manipulating you, that he didn’t know what he was saying… that you loved him too.

But the softness of Hyunjin’s hoodie reached your bristling skin. You froze and decided not to give him satidifaction for the first time since you met him, you wouldn’t let him know that you loved him too, because you loved Hyunjin too, and you couldn’t keep either of them.

You recognized that the great damage was already done and all thanks to you and for being, as he had said before, a homewrecker.

---------------------

𐙚TAGLIST: @rylea08 @hann1bee @iovecb97 @armystay89 @anylady-fics @hyvneluv @lailac13 @omgbrydiesimpson @hash2013 @possum-playground @lolareadsimagines @jisuperboard @ayyonoona @do-you-remember-summer-127 @wildtokay @korthbum @hyune-ssne @cherricola-star

[lustlovehart]

Hard Stoned Gallery Dance

A/n: This was made like monthhsss ago, so I’m posting it as forgiveness for the lack of work i’ve been doing.

Pairing: [ Monster!Twst ] Malleus Draconia x Reader

Summary: Dancing is a beautiful past time, yet such a pretty act is ruined, when Malleus decides to let his affections for you run rampant. (Wc: 1.9k)

Warnings: Kissing & Licking, Murder/Death of Minor Characters (Not explicit), Possessive traits, Clinginess bordering obsession, a little blood, Biting/Marking

Your head leans itself on the rough surface of the stone wall. You’ve finished your objective for the day, so giving yourself this break is well deserved, ten minutes free of Crowley’s nagging is still freedom despite how it sounds. Your eyes can’t help but look up at the pretty blue sky, it stings to look at but you don’t mind the pain, seeing something so clear is worth it.

That cloud looks like a cat.

…

The taste of indulgence is quickly stripped out your grasp when the familiar sound of dragging stone resonates through the air, grating to your ears.

“Child of hunters, what may you be doing here?” His rock-hard face interrupts your view of the sky, green solid eyes look down on you as he casts a shadow on your visage.

Despite his body being made of pure stone, his eyes give a faint green glow, as if a bioluminescent moss grew there. His hair, his wings, and even his tail freely flowed as if he were just a regular Dragon hybrid. But alas, he is some sort of statue— Oh no not a statue, in his words a gargoyle.

You forgot about the difference one time and in turn, he gave you a 3-hour lecture on the difference between a grotesque and other gargoyles. Never again…

“I’m trying to hide from my boss.”

“Shall I be rid of him for you?” His mouth forms a little o as a small puff of a green flame releases from him.

“That would be a bad idea, I’d lose my source of income.” He quirks an eyebrow up at this., to be fair, you don’t think he has any clue what a “payday” is.

Despite his confusion, he lifts from his bowing form, a hand reaching out towards you in all its mossy glory. You’ve known him long enough to know what he wants.

A dance.

You don’t try to hide your exasperation as you take his invitation, albeit a bit slow. His stone body quickly pulls you up and into him. With how much tamer his form is compared to other beasts you know, it’s hard to remember that he’s part dragon, and even worse is part of the only few monsters who know magic.

So as of right now, this marks your third time dancing with one of the worst monstrosities currently on the bounty list. No maybe not one of the worst… From what you remember from Crowley’s ramblings (which isn’t much since you tune him out when possible) he’s probably the most dangerous.

You get the basic idea, but you’ve never truly seen for yourself why he’s considered so terrible. Is he not just a glorified water spout? Compared to a Kraken and an Incubus, surely his damage isn’t so grand to be warranted as the biggest beast to hunt.

“You’ll always be welcomed in my castle, you would not be short of accommodations either.” his hand rests upon your waist, pulling you closer than need be. His invasion of personal space is akin to a parasite leeching off its host, but you let him feed of you. Whether it’s from fear or a bond, you’re not decided.

Your movements are sluggish at best, but you can still remember the basic steps in the dance, your foot sloppily setting itself down where it should be, the occasional step on stone happening once or twice though.

“Considering the current state it’s in… is that even safe for me to walk in…? It looks like one good shout and the bricks holding the place together will crumble apart…”

“That is just the disguise we give it, as to not alert others of our presence. For you though, I’m willing to make it stand out if it makes you happy.” The hand lying on your waist retracts itself as he takes his other clawed limb and twirls you around, falling back into position when the spin is done.

“… I’ll think about it.”

“I’ll wait as long as it takes.” You know he’s not lying about that. You can distantly recall when a certain mystery monster had told you the tale of a longing dragon who perched himself at the opening of his window to wait for a certain hunter's return.

“Yes, he was so determined to be the first one to greet you, why he even stayed sat at the window for 5 months. It was quite endearing hehe.”

“Doesn’t it take hundreds of years for you to erode? Maybe it’ll take me 50 years to decide, by then I’ll be old and grey and you’ll be perfectly fine.” You take a step forward before the gargoyle's grip on your body tightens significantly, shrieking when he suddenly dips you down unprepared.

His freed hand takes your other arm and lifts it up to rest on his shoulder. Green sparkles are faintly flying around his lips as he slowly leans into the soft skin on your arm. His face leans in and presses chaste kisses on your limb, the gentle texture of his mouth catching you off guard as it tickles your body. Now you get it, he must’ve cast a spell to temporarily soften his lips.

He had attempted to kiss you once without taking this precaution, in turn, you gave him a face filled with discomfort at the stone texture that kept peppering you.

You can still remember the hurt face he had on when he saw your dislike towards his affections.

On his ninth kiss, his forked tongue peeks out from his mouth, licking a stripe up your skin. He finally lifts you up after the assault on your arm, his face only a few inches away from your own. It would’ve been quite the romantic atmosphere, had your nose not catch a sharp smell, and a horrible wretched one at that.

“You could be on your last breath and I’d still wait for an answer. But I hope that won’t happen.”

“Who knows, I work a dangerous job.” what is it?

The both of you twirl in unison despite the lack of music, your bodies in tandem as they move to just the sound of your surroundings. Though, your body is a little more sluggish than his own.

That stench… Is too familiar.

Eventually, your last steps fade out as you stop in your tracks.

“Is something wrong dear hunter?” Your grip on his shoulder fastens, if he was human you’re sure you would’ve broken his shoulder.

“What did you do?”

A smile is lit on his lips, his head tilting to the side, giving you such an innocent look, like he did nothing wrong.

“Whatever are you talking about?”

“The smell… Iron… This whole time I thought it was just the smell of the forest. But…” You swiftly pull a dagger out from your side, throwing it past his shoulder, the tip of the steel piercing into what sounded like wood.

He doesn’t turn back, only continuing to smile at you, as if you’re the only existing thing here, or more accurately, the only thing he cares about.

The bark of the trunk splits in half, falling to the ground, revealing the source of the stench. The top of the tree isn’t green, it’s red and brown.

4 pairs of hands stick from the leaves.

“You… What did you do Malleus–?!“ he’s quick to twirl you again, his grip on you tighter than it’s ever been. Despite your protests, he continues dancing as if you hadn’t seen anything.

You’re suddenly stricken with the memory of your first meeting with the beast, blood coating his mouth when he looked at you, pure admiration when he had finally met the muse everyone spoke so dearly of.

“Malleus, you—!“

“Tell me, dear human, was it not you who spared me?” He dips you down. “Was it not you who saw a beaten beast and allowed him to live?” He lifts you up. “Even as you walked away with a piece of stone you let go of one who’s rendered thousands over the years,” he pulls you in. “Dead” every action with your body is harsh, but not enough to hurt you, never enough to hurt you.

Because why would he ever wish to harm you?

He’d much rather smother you in affection, even when you’re exerting all your energy to kill him as he hugs you.

“It’s because you…”

“Looked so human?” He continues to keep you close, impossibly so, your skin melting into his, not from fawness, but fear.

“How did you know-“

“You’ve spared so many of us because we made you feel something in the moment,” he must be referring to everyone else… The look you gave him is dazed, caught up in the thought of every other monster you let get away. His fingers cage your chin in between them. “But don’t forget what we are.” Sparkles fly, temporarily blinding you.

When you open your vision, you’re greeted by the sight of Malleus, with the appearance of what he looked like if he was human, or at least similar to a human.

His skin isn’t rough and solid, his breaths are warm, and his hair is soft and pretty rather than a soft moss.

His eyes are a nice green, a pretty green. A color you would’ve enjoyed more had he been a human. Such a lively color shouldn’t be backdropped by crimson, yet, it is.

Behind him, several other trees collapse on themself, revealing the other tops, the same as the tree you had just seen. Views of stray limbs and vaguely familiar faces of hunters invade your mind, panic setting as you finally realize a question you should’ve asked long ago…

Why was Malleus so far from his castle?

Before you can react, your ears hear a faint whisper, eyes going heavy as little pings of thorns claw at your shoes. The last thing you see and feel, is his face leaning towards you, his finger loosening itself from your chin.

In a blink of an eye, he’s no longer the human you spared, but the monster you let escape back into the wild.

The fiendish of smiles is graced on his lips. Not because of evil, but because his smile, is so love stricken.

All because of you.

“Seems the little birdy fled the nest without permission.” Your eyes slowly flutter open, the familiar figure of a man bowing on top of you. “Now, I’ll forgive you as we weren’t expecting such a beast to appear-“

He’s immediately cut off in his sentence when a searing pain cuts through his chin.

“Augh—! How could you kick me after I spent precious time searching for you!“

“You’re the reason I’m here in the first place…!“

“I didn’t do anything!“ Despite your annoyance towards Crowley and all he stands for in your life, you can’t deny if someone had seen this scene play out in front of them, they would assume you two to be a father and his bickering child.

You attempt to stand to your full height, faltering at the pings of pain in your ankle. You suck in a breath, looking down as you nurse hurt skin.

There are briar thorns wrapped around your leg, a single rose adorning the stems, and a gentle green hue that contrasts the pure black of the floral life.

“Oh my, what were you doing last night?”

“… Night?”

“You’ve been gone for 36 hours my birdie.”

You don’t feel any different… Save for the prickle of thorns and fresh bite on your arm.

… Fresh bite?

Despite the indent, it doesn’t hurt, it’s like, he left it there as a reminder of your failures, at least to you. It could very well be his way of staking his claim on your heart.

“It’s a shame you didn’t get him when you could’ve, with your connections, you could’ve spared us a huge loss today…” you’re cruelly reminded of the people that lay to waste hidden in the trees. “We should let today serve as a reminder of what you must do.”

Crowley doesn’t look happy at the sight of so many employees who failed their jobs, yet he doesn’t look grieved either.

You… Truly, you wish you weren’t so softhearted during your missions. Maybe then, this could’ve all been avoided.

A/n: Like I said, this piece was from so long a goo, so i’m so sorry if the plot isn’t to anyone liking, but if it is, i’m happy you enjoyed it!!

[marloree]

ᑎEᗯ ᗷOOKS ᗩᑎᗪ ᑎEᗯ ᗩᑕᑫᑌᗩIᑎTᗩᑎᑕES

Pairing: Librarian! Soobin × Bookworm! Reader

Genre: fluff

Word count: 1.5k

A/N: this has been dusting in my drafts for months, but I finally got to finish it! Hopefully the effort was worth it. 🥹

You, quite literally, never seemed to get your nose out of a book. No matter what you would be doing, a book was an essential. Eating, traveling somewhere, waiting for the next class - you always had a book in hand. Even if you were not reading at the moment, you for sure would still carry a book or two in your bag.

Books were your bread and water, your oxygen and sun. You wouldn’t lie if you said they were almost everything to you. Having developed a liking to fairytales in your childhood, it turned into something much, much greater as years passed. The little feeling of contentment you would feel when your mother read to you at a younger age turned into joy and excitement of seeking knowledge and getting to learn about worlds, lives and situations you never got to experience yourself.

Fairytales got replaced with books of a more serious nature, soon you replaced your mother in reading to you and read on your own. However, the thrill you felt while gulping a page after page didn’t go anywhere. If possible, it got only stronger. 

Reading was your favorite pastime and it wouldn’t be so difficult to guess what your favorite place to spend your time was, besides your room, of course.

That’s right - the library, the home of so many books. And, in a way, yours, too. It was like your second home. You could spend hours there, taking in the numerous beautiful covers that looked at you from all the bookshelves. Well, this is just what you usually would do: waking up early on the weekends just to go visit the local, oh so dear to you, library.

Having spent so many hours there, you were sure you have taken a look at every book and have talked to every librarian there. Or, so you thought. 

It was such a beautiful summer morning, beautiful and peaceful. The heat hadn’t reached its peak, the city hadn’t fully woken up yet, only the rare birds would chirp here and there. Just like the birds, you, too, were up at this early hour. You just finished your book yesterday night and couldn’t wait to read the continuation. But, for that, you had to wait until the library would open and you could finally take the needed copy. Anticipating the moment with every fiber of your body, you sat on the bed, dreaming of all the possible ways the story could take a turn to, while also not forgetting to glance at the clock every now and then. Of course you started preparing earlier than you should, taking an earlier bus as well: the excitement was running through your veins, replacing its natural content, no less.

A solid 10 minutes earlier than the most punctual librarian would open the door for visitors you stood at the entrance. Your feet tapped a beat only known to them, the book getting traveled from one of your hands to the other in a rather impatient manner. It felt like eternity passed when you finally heard the door being opened from the inside. You immediately turned to the direction of the noise, unwilling to lose even a second. Another moment passed and the door was finally open widely, welcoming the early visitor.

But, to your surprise, it wasn’t the usual librarian that greeted you, but a completely new and unfamiliar face. 

“Uh, good morning”, you muttered, looking up at the stranger, as if both perplexed and curious to see a new face.

The smile on the guy’s face grew wider, although he clearly was a bit nervous: it was his first work day here, or in a library at all, for that matter.

“Good morning, good morning!” He stepped aside, letting you enter the building.

In a moment, the curiosity towards a new face was long gone and forgotten as you laid your eyes on the needed cover, the second part of the book you’ve been longing to read. With a swift gesture, the book traveled into your hands, as you looked at it fondly, lovingly almost.

Your expression hadn’t gone unnoticed by the new librarian: he was taking quick curious glances at you every now and then, you were his first visitor, the first person he had to assist as a librarian. But, even so, his eyes sparkled almost as brightly as yours once he read the title on the cover. It was the name of his favourite series, too. In a few seconds, he walked closer to you, almost overwhelmed with excitement.

“Hey, I see you’ve read the first book, am I right? Did you like it?” The tone of his voice carried a hint of warning of a possible trouble: him exploding from his excitement. But how else could one feel when he, after months if not years, have finally found a fellow series reader?

“Yes, yes, I have!” You turned to him, your smile telling a similar story, "and I absolutely loved it!!"

The next thing you knew, you two started bombarding each other with questions regarding the series and other books of the author. Your enthusiasm was contagious, but no less was his. You kept on interrupting each other, speaking like you could never get tired. Surely, you could spend hours just talking about the thing you both loved - books.

You haven’t met many people who shared such a great amount of love towards reading, so you were more than happy to come across such a person. Your lively conversation went on and on, not seeming to be coming to an end at all. You talked and talked, trying to express all of the thoughts and emotions that got to be buried deep inside your brains for so, so long. Once you two finally shared everything you wanted about the book, your chatter quite abruptly came to a halt.

“Oh, I’m Soobin, by the way”, the librarian smiled with a hint of awkwardness, just now realizing he never introduced himself.

“It's so nice to meet someone who’s just as passionate about the series as I am”, your enthusiasm was over the roof, making you too occupied to notice the sudden feeling of awkwardness or to even remember to introduce yourself back. In your defense, Soobin hadn’t noticed he never got your name either.

“Wait, do you know N.N. too?” You suddenly hit Soobin with another question, remembering your second favorite author.

“Yes, yes, I do!” The awkwardness swiped off the guy's face once the conversation was once again turned to the topic he was so passionate about.

After rambling and rambling without seeming to ever stop or even take a breath, you finally shared everything you wanted - for the moment, at least - and, seemingly, Soobin didn’t have much to say as well.

“It's so nice knowing we share the same interest and even favor similar authors”, you sighed contently, “wait, we just have to get to know each other better.”

“Oh, you think so?” Soobin’s more shy and quiet nature immediately showed up once his favorite topic was taken away from him, “honestly, I’d love to, but I’ve been really busy lately, trying to balance my studies and work, and it doesn’t leave much time for anything else, you know,” his sigh was equivalent to how every student who ever had to take up both fields at once has felt.

“Hm”, you hummed, quickly coming up with a solution, “I don’t have much work on me currently, I could visit the library even daily!” You were so happy to finally find an eager book lover that you were forgetting you were talking to an almost absolute stranger. “If that’s okay with you, of course,” you quickly added.

A wide smile appeared on Soobin's face in an instant after your suggestion. “Of course, of course, I’d be so happy if you would! I doubt I’ll have much work during these first days, so it would be really nice of you if you’d come around.”

“Then I’ll surely come tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow, too!”, your smile reached all the way from one ear to the other, “and I’ll definitely bring you a list of my most favorite books!”

“I will as well, then, and I’d definitely be looking forward to tomorrow!”

As you walked out of the library that day, the sun was shining so brightly and the birds were singing even more cheerfully than in the morning, nature seemed to be just as happy as you were. You were so excited about your future conversations, it felt like you've found a perfect, if not soul mate, then a book mate, for sure.

You carried the copy in hand, anticipating tomorrow. But, at the moment, your focus was slowly shifting towards the book. To read it, as always, turned into the main goal of the day. Overnight, preferably.

Meanwhile, among Soobin's daydreams, the realization that he still didn’t know your name crept and grew stronger. Well, he surely would ask you tomorrow. Unless the excitement lets it slip his mind once again, that is.

[raayllum]

Callum is so right about Rayla never doing anything for herself. You could say freeing Runaan was for herself but she also treats it as her "sacred promise" and chose him for Ethari too (shows how great her heart is). You think sparing Callum will finally count as her doing something for herself? Choosing her future and her love for him over the "greater good". She couldn't get her og parents back‚ this girl keeps losing and suffering she seriously deserves more wins

God, I could write an entire meta about that line - maybe one day when I'm feeling self indulgent. In regards to your actual prompt, re: saving Callum will count as something for herself -- a big yes, absolutely, I think! Though I think freeing her parents is something she deeply wanted for herself, too ("I miss you so much" / "so I wanted to do something for yourself for you") even if it was something she was continually putting off till the Aaravos situation, as far as she knew, was resolved

Prior to S6 I went back and forth on whether the show would frame Rayla's end of the possession plot line / trying to get Callum back as either "It doesn't matter what happens to me (again) I just want to save him" (which is what leaving in TTM and other moments was about) OR whether it'd be framed as "I refuse to sacrifice him / something I want (again)" and therefore be character development. I leaned towards the latter for reasons outlined here since the two have the chance to be even more thematically codependent than they already are in terms of their senses of identity:

As long as Callum is Callum (not possessed, or she has reason to believe he’s still in there), Rayla likely won’t be able to bring herself to kill him. This is from an emotional / characterization standpoint, of course, but from a thematic standpoint, we can see where it stems from Callum and Rayla continually being each other’s main connection to their sense of identity. As long as Callum is Callum (“you’re the destiny is a book you write yourself guy”), he’s worth saving. As long as Callum is Callum, she can be Rayla (“Rayla’s brave. She saves people” / “Rayla. My name is Rayla, and I’m going home”). As long as she’s Rayla, he can be Callum. Because if Callum isn’t Callum, then he’s dead, and if he’s dead, she can kill him. And if Rayla kills him, if Callum is dead, then she won’t be Rayla anymore. Because to literally kill Callum would be to simultaneously symbolically/emotionally kill herself.

This goes both ways of course - Callum can't/won't sacrifice Rayla because to do so would be to sacrifice a fundamental part of himself (namely his deep and Pure devotion to others which means he'll never go entirely down the negative side of Viren's path, and keep to the positive - leaving Aaravos, breaking free, etc). This was subtext prior to S6, but now it's actual text (she's his light/truth/hope of salvation, etc) so it goes double going forward. This is true for Rayla too — Callum is her guiding light and her star, he's one of the people who's taught her the most about how to love and the person she wants to be.

With all that in mind, yeah, I do think that Rayla will choose to not sacrifice Callum for the right reasons. Part of this is scaffolded under witnessing Callum not sacrificing her No Matter What prior to her won choice, and realizing "what [she] most deeply desires" isn't just Callum's survival even, but specifically the life they can have together, which she needs to stick around for and thereby not sacrifice herself. Runaan is also explicitly remorseful over the actions he took towards her where he choose duty over love, so Rayla realizing she should choose love over duty ties into them growing together as well in a positive way. We also see her realize some of this I think in choosing to let Lain and Tiadrin stay together rather than separate them specifically because of the Moonphoenix bracelet Callum gave her as well.

"I risked losing the best thing I ever had" because of her own duty turned revenge vs "I refuse to lose either of us like this" and finally fully accepting an assassin was never who she was and never who she Should be, in sacrificing others' lives or her own included. Them both Choosing each other above everything else was exactly what I was hoping for as soon as the "I need you to kill me" plot line started / wrote in my first CHET fic pre-S4 years ago:

She has two options as she pulls away. She can make a grab for her swords and go out, swords blazing. Kill Viren or Aaravos if she can as the sky splits open, purple and thrumming with magic; die with a sword in her hand in all likelihood. The release spell has already started. Or she can help Callum up, and they can live to fight another day—together. Rayla grips the back of his jacket. Presses her forehead to his neck for a second, tears building her eyes. “I’m sorry,” she says. His arm tightens around her, like he’s braced for her to go. “Rayla—” “I’m so sorry,” she repeats, sobbing. This is all her fault, but she can’t do that to him. “We have to get out of here.” [...]

Callum is staring at her when she pulls back and she swallows hard. She doesn’t know what to say. It’s both a blessing and a curse when he speaks first. “You chose me,” he says, not quite softly; she can tell there’s a lump in his throat. An edge of anger that not doing so was even an option. “Yeah, well. It was about time,” she says quietly. “I—”

So uh, here's hoping!

[fandomsoda]

You’re allowed to enjoy the parts of you that can cause you to struggle btw. You’re allowed to enjoy being autistic. You’re allowed to enjoy having adhd. You’re allowed to enjoy being any type of neurodivergent, really. You’re allowed to appreciate the positive aspects of any disorders you have if there are any. You’re allowed to be happy with not being able-bodied. You’re allowed to enjoy being plural. You’re allowed to enjoy being therian/alterhuman/otherkin. You’re allowed to enjoy the things that change how you experience the world even if they may cause you to struggle. Being different and having struggles doesn’t mean you should hate your differences. These parts of your experience/identity are allowed to be fun btw.

[vaggieslefteye]

CHARLIE MAGNE from HAZBIN HOTEL (2019): Pilot - "That's Entertainment" ↳ "So, I've been thinking: Isn't there a more humane way to hinder overpopulation here in Hell? Perhaps we can create an alternative way to change souls through... redemption?"

[hecksupremechips]

Come back home when you have some sense

You can throw your life away just not at my expense

You’re not the son I raised

[leatherbookmark]

a friendly reminder that jgy doesn’t “tell nmj that he’s more important than all those people he’s killed”.

nie mingjue asks two questions.

one, “are you saying your life is more valuable than theirs?” (高贵),

and second, “are you saying you’re different from them?” (不同)

to which jin guangyao says, “yes. of course we’re different!”

he doesn’t say, “of course my life is more valuable!”, note.

these are two separate questions, and he only answers the last one that, in my opinion, is the most mindboggling one.

nmj asks a son of a sex worker, reviled, harassed and bullied just for existing, if he’s any different than other people. nie mingjue, who’s SEEN the way he was treated and stepped forward himself to confront those people.

the same nie mingjue who thinks he’s a l w a y s killed people for a reason, and that it’s fair for him to kill, but when jgy kills it’s always cruel, needless spilling of blood. yknow, despite the saber.

this nmj gets so furious at jgy stating that he’s not like other people that he kicks him down the stairs.

🆗🆒👍

[mushratting]

i think procrastinating my work and playing video games for six and a half hours might have fixed me unironically

[seithr]

Randomly remembered the half-reason i call my oc-verse by the name it has while laying in bed. One-half of the reason i still knew, but I had forgotten what had truly, really cemented it jointly until now

(it was a song from my favourite band I haven't listened to in a while.)

(the song fit so well at the time, still does, that i needed to hold onto it for the main protagonists forever, by partially naming their story in reference.)

Does this explanation make any sense? Does anyone know why I'm tearing up remembering this. Aahh

[rosecreates]

Raven and Astarion are basically just "Charlatan to Charlatan communication" without either realizing it because neither of them are very open about their pasts at first and in the scenario where Astarion enacts his simple plan on Raven he has no idea he is breaking Rule 0: Don't try to con another conman (or conwoman in this case).

Raven knows exactly what he's doing but she just doesn't tell him she knows until later because the game is fun.

Both of them thought this would stay a game but then they both catch feelings lmao. Absolute losers (affectionate).

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[oliapfel]

Culinary school is to a real service line the same way College prep in High School is to College

Gives you a false impression on how the "real world" works. The moment you step foot on the line the whole "you have to do everything alone" mindset becomes more a hindrance than culinary school leads you to believe.

Don't get me wrong, I get the need to learn all the individual skills yourself to be more prepared, but they pretend like you have to do a whole menu of varying items completely alone when that's just not the case. You are a team that works together and if one falls behind, the rest are there to help pick up the slack. If the person in charge of omelets is overwhelmed, you take some tasks off their hands.

[arolesbianism]

Thinking abt how much I love oni's writing again... In particular, "a seed is planted" continues to be one of if not my favorite logs because despite the troubling details and implications that come with it, it's the one thing in the entirety of the decaying corpse of gravitas that genuinely leaves us with a grain of hope (a seed if you will) and makes oni as a whole a lot more bitter sweet as while earth may not have survived, the dupes did, and after their horrible origins and the shit that many of them went through, in due time they'll finally get to just live, they're free now, and even if Olivia's sleep is end of a tragedy, the world will keep moving forward with or without those who've been lost

[gutsby]

Make It Stick

Pairing: Old!Joel x Reader

Summary: Joel never thought he’d need a vasectomy. Then, one night, he accidentally finishes inside you.

Warnings: 18+. Unprotected-peepaw-p-in-v (I’m sorry). Accidental creampie. Age gap. Cumplay. Breeding kink. Ovulation has led me places I wouldn’t go with a gun.

Note: Convergence is a painting by Jackson Pollock. We studied it in high school and I thought it looked like jizz idk

Word count: 4.7k

He should’ve gotten snipped when he had the chance.

Should’ve taken the plunge, faced his fears of needles and fluorescent-washed doctor’s offices like any man his age could have done and gotten the damn vasectomy. Now he was here, nearly two decades older and still none the wiser in this cold, dead world with a pretty young thing like you between his sheets. In lieu of elective surgery, Joel Miller had only to grit his teeth, bite hard, and repeat over and over again in his head, desperate:

‘Don’t cum, don’t cum, don’t cum, don’t cum, DON’T—’

Words like those normally worked. With women that weren’t you, they tended to serve him exceedingly well.

But you were just so tight. And wet. And welcoming. And try as Joel might to pretend like he got laid on a regular basis, the truth was that he didn’t. Wouldn’t. Couldn’t seem to think straight when it came to this fixation he’d developed for you, so, instead, he let his dick do all the decision-making whenever he found himself around you. Ten times out of ten that ended in:

“J-J-Joel—oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck—I’m gonna CUM.”

And that made it worth every last life-endangering drop.

Feeling how your flushed, lithe body came apart beneath his touch. How you needed him. How your eyes grew to half the size of your face and you gaped up at the man, lips parted, like you couldn’t even comprehend how the friction of seven inches could make you feel so good.

If he had it his way, he would’ve loved nothing more than to show you that feeling every night, and twice the next morning if his hip wasn’t giving him too much trouble.

But, at present, the man had bigger fish to fry. Like not becoming a new father at fifty-nine if he could help it.

With the last two fluttering pulses of your heat, and almost going cross-eyed from the pleasure as he felt it, Joel yanked his big, slippery cock out of your body and made a fist around his member as he always knew to do. Tugged and pulled and grunted above you—‘Sweet girl, you’re so fuckin’ good to me’—and watched your tits and your belly for the milky white ropes to ensue.

Strangely, though, your skin stayed the same.

No cum-spray Convergence appeared before him, no opaque and cloudy fluids dribbling down your ribs, nothing. Your stomach was as bare as the rest of you, save for a few beads of sweat, and that was all there was.

Joel shook his dick harder, confused. Beneath him, you were still coming down from your high smiling ear-to-ear and staring blissfully at the ceiling. Your chest rose and fell, rose and fell in quick succession, and while you endeavored to recollect your mind, Joel was losing his.

Where the FUCK was his cum?

In no naked horizontal tango to date had Joel simply…cum without noticing. Shit like that just didn’t happen to men, least of all to ones his age, so when he’d wrung his poor cock like a sodden towel and still saw nothing come out, he felt his stomach turn and plummet inside him.

He dropped to his hands and knees in less than a moment and lowered his head between your legs.

“No, Joel!” you squealed, giggling. Kicking your feet, “Another round and I’m gonna combust, you old perv!”

But Joel wasn’t looking to get his dick wet again. He was inspecting you. Or trying to, anyway. Quickly realizing he couldn’t see a thing in the darkness, he let out a breath through his nose and lifted you off the bed. Your naked frame thrown over his shoulder, bare hip beside his head and your strangled, muffled cry of, ‘What the hell, Joel?!’ hardly seemed to register with the man carrying you off.

You were toted to the bathroom. Joel was about to ease you down on your feet. Then, appearing to change his mind at the last second, he set you onto the sink instead. Your skin bristled with indignation, anger. A little arousal.

“Last time we did it on a sink we broke the faucet,” you reminded him, feigning more dismay than you really felt inside. If anything, you liked it when your fossil-age fuckbuddy switched things up. You were just exhausted.

Heedless of your words, Joel kneeled on the floor and pried your legs apart before him. When you swatted at his silver-flecked head, he brushed your hand away.

“Hold still,” he grunted.

“How come?”

“‘Cause I said.”

How quickly he commanded that tone of a father.

“Wanna sleep,” you groaned, about to roll your eyes.

But you couldn’t deny you liked being doted on by him.

Joel’s touch was gentle. Probing. Spidering down the most sensitive parts of your bare lower half, between your thighs, and slowly coaxing you closer to the edge of the sink. Your breath hitched when you saw his head tilt.

He appeared to be deep in thought—a rare sight for anyone who’d seen Joel Miller in the postcoital state. Most every time he’d blown his load before, the man was dead asleep within ten minutes. His joints could barely hold himself upright after a half hour of plowing the back forty, much less carry you, too, so you were puzzled now.

He thumbed at the seam of your cunt, and you whined:

“Jo-el—”

“Can ya…push, baby?” His eyes flitted up quickly.

“Push?”

“Yeah, just…” With a look you couldn’t quite read, he placed the palm of his other hand on your belly. Then, pressing, “Like this. Like you’re squeezin’ somethin’ out.”

You cocked a brow in muted confusion but did as he asked. You watched his gaze, and it stayed on you.

Or, rather, on that soft and pliant spot between your legs the old man seemed to favor so much. On any other occasion, in a position like this, he surely would’ve been wearing a smile. Tonight, his lips curled into a grimace.

And twisted even further when you ‘pushed’ like you did.

At first you felt nothing. A gentle clench of your walls supplied little more than a sense of having been stretched—no novel concept to you, who’d spent the last three-and-a-half months or so getting fucked by the finest AARP affiliate alive most every night. It wasn’t until you clamped down again that you got the feeling there was something else. Something thick and warm and slow as molasses trickling out from between your folds.

You let out a low, tender, ‘Mmph’ without meaning to; it felt kind of nice. Beneath you, Joel’s face turned grave.

He watched as his spend oozed out of your freshly-fucked hole and thought of vasectomies again.

You were young—too young to know better. Too sweet and naïve to see any peril in spreading your legs for a man like him, in a world like this. And Joel swore he’d be careful. But no post-apocalyptic birth control method was perfect, or even close to it, and it was clear he’d relied too heavily on reflexes to keep him from cumming inside you. Joel was old—too old to be doing this shit.

Too grown and well-versed in sex to be making mistakes as stupid as that. His brow pinched in, and he drew his next breath as if the air around him was growing scarce.

“Joel, what’s—”

“When’s the last time you— you— uh…bled?”

Hardly more in control of his face than the rate his heart went thudding in his chest, Joel winced at the end. This time, you were the one to knit your eyebrows together. You could tell by that tight, discomfited tone he wasn’t talking papercuts, but were still unsure of his purpose.

“Like two, two and a half weeks ago. Why?”

Well, fuck.

Joel buried his face in his hands. You scooted closer to the sink’s edge, thinking little of his cum leaking out.

“Why?” you tried again. Softer this time.

An old, weathered head lifted to greet you. It was bleak.

“You see this?” Joel paused. Swiping his finger through the viscous white substance that had trickled out on the counter, in a puddle now, “Y’know what it means, right?”

You let his look, and the question, remain suspended in air for a second. Then another. Then you shrugged.

“Yeah. But…you’re old,” came your answer at length.

You’re old.

Joel and you both knew as much, but the former wasn’t quite following your train of thought. Still wanting to try and mitigate damages while he could, though, Joel reached for the roll of toilet paper that was fastened to the wall and tore himself a strip. He bunched it up and, reaching for one of your knees to spread you further for him, took to daubing the tissue across your entrance.

“What’s me bein’ old got to do with anything?” A little sharp, then, seeing you flinch when he drew too close to your clit, “‘m sorry, baby, just— gotta get this out of you.”

You made a face but let him continue anyway. Your eyes followed each movement of his hand, and reflexively, the muscles in your thighs tightened. Why bother with this when the man has so many better uses for his hands?

For a second, your eyes fluttered half-shut.

“Maria says old folks are, uh…infertile. Got something to do with a middle pause,” you said, breaths labored.

Joel stopped just long enough to shoot you a look.

“Menopause,” he corrected, all too matter-of-fact, before returning to his work, “is a woman thing.”

What the hell were they teaching in Jackson’s sex ed classes, anyway? Then Joel remembered how his brother sincerely believed that women peed out of their vaginas until he was twenty-three, and the thought of you not knowing the ins and outs of male virility wasn’t the most far-fetched idea in the universe. Besides, sexual health wasn’t exactly the community’s highest priority when the world around it was in a perpetual state of decay and hordes of fungus-faced fuckers ran rampant in the wild.

He curved a tender, careful finger against the ring of muscles framing your sex, trying to absorb more cum, and your grip on the edge of the countertop tightened.

“S-So, you—” You swallowed, throat constricting a little too, “You’re sayin’…men can make babies…whenever?”

You sounded so innocent as you said it. Joel wanted nothing more than to club himself over the head for being the cause of this predicament—of being such an instrumental part of the perceived corruption, as it was.

Meanwhile, your head was swimming in filthier thoughts.

Deeper, Joel, keep…pushing in…dee-e-per. You would have scarcely had more luck giving a fuck what Joel was talking about now than if he’d just said the room was on fire. By his voice, you knew you should’ve been paying attention, but the dexterity of his fingers was too much. He was caressing the first couple inches of your inner walls, attempting to scrape what bits of his release he could get unstuck from the flesh, but it seemed he was succeeding mostly in just turning you on. Rendering you deaf to the drone of his words as you pictured him pushing something else inside your tight, throbbing—

“—whole lotta problems for us if you’re, uh…ovulating,” Joel finished, expression taut and oblivious. You hadn’t heard the first part of that sentence and didn’t care to.

“Ovulating,” you repeated slowly. Indifferent.

Joel carried on without a hitch.

“Kids just ain’t fit for this world. I know you know that.”

You nodded along, not hearing a word.

“And if you’re— if y’ever did consider, maybe…”

Your lungs took an extra sharp inhale when Joel’s fingers coaxed out a warm, sticky glob of his load, and he petted your folds with his thumb. Then let out a breath himself.

“…y’oughta start a family with someone your own age—”

That part snagged your attention. Too swiftly, it came:

“My own age?”

Sighing, in spite of those welts of pleasure so heightened by his touch that the space between your legs began to throb and ache. Hardly possessed of more sense to form words that weren’t just echoes of his own, you tried communication from a simpler source—your foot.

You nudged his shoulder, and Joel looked up.

“What?”

“What?”

Parroting was, evidently, a hard habit to kill. Your toes curled into the bare skin of Joel’s shoulder, and when he re-inserted his finger, you ground your heel even deeper.

“When’s that ev…ever stopped us from doing it before, hm?” you said, tone strained but laced with some humor too, “Thought you liked sayin’ you’d make me a mama.”

Joel’s face flooded pink at the recollection—as a matter of fact, there had been several such memories. Instead of answering immediately, he just averted his gaze again. He anchored one hand to your thigh, and with the other teased out another string of your shared arousal before wiping his finger on the tissue, clinically, and repeating. All he had to offer in reply after was: ‘That’s different.’

And it was, to some extent. Joel wasn’t blind to the sea of uneasy looks that trailed behind you both whenever you walked the streets of Jackson together. How wide the eyes would get when instead of observing some filial display of affection play out before them, as expected, you’d loop your arms around his waist and take his lip between your teeth as you kissed—‘Can we please go home now, baby?’—that Joel was certain he’d been cemented as the resident pervert among everyone in town. Just how much worse that reputation was liable to get if there ever happened to be a round and swollen belly between that embrace someday was unthinkable. Dirty talk was one thing; parenthood another entirely.

This is for the best, became the low, grating refrain in his skull. Why he dug so hard, pushed so far inside the wet, velvety interior of your body without a thought for his own desires in that moment; he had to cull every trace of himself out of there, before he had half a chance to think.

“Baby, hey, hey, no—” Joel cut in a second later, abrupt.

No, no, no. You weren’t thinking either. Wrapping your hand around his wrist, pushing his fingers deeper inside.

Smiling a little, too.

“What are you— no, honey, don’t— you can’t,” Joel’s words splintered in every direction, watching you plunge his own index and middle fingers into the slick and the warmth he’d just been trying to get his cum out of. He looked up and saw your lids were heavy, about to close.

“What are you doin’? This ain’t…no, baby, it ain’t…safe.”

Back to sounding like a dad in no time at all.

“What’s wrong with leaving it in a bit longer? Feels nice.”

You had no idea what you were talking about. Joel pulled back on his hand and, in less than a second, had it freed.

“I just told you,” he huffed, “You’re too young—”

“I’m plenty old, Joel,” you returned, eyes snapping open, “You’ve shown me that more times than I can count.”

Joel was silent, stunned. He rose to his feet as your eyes seared holes into his, and for a second, he was uncertain whether to take a step back or reach out for you again.

“Baby…”

To his surprise, something like hurt surfaced behind your eyes. You set your lips in a tighter line, and your grip on the counter grew firmer just the same. He would’ve taken that move as his cue to lean in gently, slot his body between your thighs, and venture an apology of some sort, when the next thing you did stopped him cold.

Without a word, you slipped your free hand between your legs—eyeing Joel closely, almost scornfully, as you did.

You took your middle and ring fingers and sank them into your cunt. Not intending to let a drop of his spend leak out, you wedged them in as far as they’d go. Joel watched. Gawked. Once sufficiently pleased with the look of shock taking over his handsome, aged features, you withdrew the fingers. You brought them up to your mouth, wrapped your lips around the tips, and sucked.

It was a rare thing to get a taste of you and Joel together like this, so you savored it. You moved your mouth further down to drink it all in, peering up with wide, indulgent eyes and a look that was meant to punish.

Feels nice.

Tastes alright, too.

You’d licked the last bit of this glaze off your hand when your stomach clenched. You knew it would happen. Full as you were, you feared your body still hungered for more. As such, it hardly came as a surprise when next your muscles tensed, and you shifted closer to Joel.

“Maybe I don’t want babies with someone my own age.”

Either one of your knees were nudging his hips. Drawing him in. Joel appeared to waver for a second, unsure, but the look on his face made it clear this was mostly a matter of a delayed reaction. He couldn’t get his legs to move because the rest of him was still in awe. Staring at your lips, where the residue of his spend was glistening, then to your eyes, which were no less inviting, then up to the crown of your head and over it, to fix his stare on the mirror behind it. You watched him watch his own reflection with a look that was both hard and unkind, breathing slow. When he didn’t stir from that position after a minute, you touched a hand to his lower stomach.

And, brushing the heel of your palm against what felt like a hundred grey hairs in the old man’s happy trail—your favorite ones—you smoothed a caress along his belly, back and forth, before moving it left. Your hand came to rest on a mound of muscle and fat sitting right above his hip. Love handles, Joel had remarked one morning with vague distaste. Love handles, you’d repeated, beaming. You held on tightly now, appreciatively, and used your well-loved wall of flesh to pull him closer. As with any beckoning of yours, Joel didn’t have so much as half a mind to resist. He did, however, refuse to meet your gaze while you tilted your hips and spread your legs wider, before winding your ankles around the backs of his legs.

“Don’t you think I’d look pretty?” You pouted up at him. Your folds made a light, warm suction rubbing along the front of Joel’s cock—of course he’d grown hard again, and you could hold him, point him down to that wet embrace awaiting him patiently at the edge of the sink.

Joel cursed under his breath.

“‘Course I do…” he said, voice hoarse, “Y’always look—”

“I mean…with your baby inside me, Joel. Right here.”

As if to put a finer point on your words, you nestled the head of his cock inside the first inch of your body. Joel had to seize the laminate underneath you and grit his teeth to keep from letting out a groan too loud. That tip may as well have been a first-rate conductor of heat, and your warmth the thing that might send him spilling again

“You don’t—” Joel choked out, nearly incensed, “—don’t know what the hell you’re sayin’, baby. What that means.”

In truth, there wasn’t a world Joel Miller could imagine where a girl like you could give more than a passing thought to getting knocked up by him—a man his age. What good would it do? You had your whole life laid out before you like a four-course dinner spread; there was no sense whatsoever in letting the meal go to waste on him.

He communicated as much by moving to pull out.

You met the effort with a push of your own, sinking down another inch or two on his shaft and smiling when you saw his eyes roll back in his head at the dizzying friction.

“I know more than enough, old man—” Grin stretching ear-to-ear as you dug your heels in his ass and tugged him deeper, “—who do you think taught me all this?”

Of course, it had been Joel.

Always, always him—the only one, in fact.

Your walls drew him in like a hug. For once, Joel conjured up the strength to take a look between your lower half and his, and when he did, the next moan was inevitable. It trickled through his lips. Your body looked sublime swallowing a third of his cock, and it was almost as though a maggot had crawled into his brain, chanting:

‘Make her full. Make her yours. Tell any man who’d even think of looking her way she belongs to someone else.’

He couldn’t.

Joel would never be so selfish. Just think of her youth.

But when his gaze drifted back to yours, every thought and any word besides seemed gently to melt away. Beneath him, your eyes were two pools of desire.

“You like this…don’t you, Joel?” Your voice was tiny.

“I do.”

In fact, he loved it.

“Then why can’t we?” Why shouldn’t we?

Minuscule now, the words that reached him barely exceeded a whisper. It was as though the moment itself had drained all fear from your face—and out of Joel, all common sense from his brain—leaving you both to stare at the other with shared, stupid, anoetic looks of bliss. The man who had you beat by thirty-odd years seemed nearly of the same mind, with almost identical ignorance.

Idiocy.

“Just once?” Joel croaked.

Somewhere underneath, unseen, you smiled.

“Just one?” you murmured back.

He sank in another inch. When your walls contracted around him, Joel’s hands found your hips by force of habit and pushed your back against the glass behind it. The mirror was cool, and inside you, Joel was throbbing.

“Once,” he repeated, not thinking too deeply.

“One,” you said, with a world of more purpose.

Joel relinquished the last three inches, and with it, all of his resolve. The handsome, scarred, and plainly greying features all twisted as one, and the expression that you knew too well to mean that the man was feeling good took on the slightest hint of guilt. He gripped you tighter.

“One?” Joel panted. Confused.

He pulled out halfway just to find his home again. Your pearly slick mixed together with his spend, and both coated over Joel’s shaft in a pretty, generous sheen.

“One more of you, I mean.” You sounded too sweet. There was no way in hell you’d actually meant it.

Joel’s cheeks flushed again, but he didn’t stop, either.

“Baby…” he trailed off instead. He pushed in, pulled out, felt your tender little hole make an ‘o’ around his shaft, and then he kissed the edge of your left cheek—maybe to rein in the need in his words before he spoke again: “One’a me takes and I’m givin’ ya fifteen more, y’hear?”

The smile he received told him as much as he needed to hear. He probably wouldn’t have believed it even if you’d said the words yourself. Joel’s thrusts sped up, and as the pleasure distended in the pit of his stomach with the friction and the feel, his words flowed a little more freely.

In disbelief, “Wanna be a mama that bad for me, huh?”

Your grin grew bigger. You nodded your head.

“Make your old man a daddy, is that it?”

Exactly. Senseless as it was, your look said it all.

To have slipped between the grooves and ridges of Joel’s brain and caught wind of even a fraction of the things he wanted to do to you then, a smarter girl would have run. Would have shoved him back out as swiftly as she’d let him in and told him no, that’s gross, and gone home. And, had the grey matter floating inside your own skull not been so completely dominated by primal need and wanting, that’s likely what you would have done, too. Instead, with a head full of lewd, youthful stupidity, you seized the black-grey curls dangling at the nape of his neck and drew him closer. You spread your legs wider.

“That is what you’ve wanted this whole time, right?”

Under his scruff, a muscle tensed as Joel bit down.

That’s all he’s ever wanted.

Let the neighbors talk.

Let them say what they wanted to say—it was probably all true to the point they were trying to make, anyway. That Joel was a pervert, of course. That you were naïve, also true. That you would look too good not to stare in a white cotton frock with a bump underneath, absolutely. These were the ideas permeating your brain and his while Joel took a firmer hold of your sides and brought his nose to rest against yours. With every stab of his hips, he pressed kisses to your soft, parted lips, speaking low:

“That what you want, too, darlin’?” More serious now.

The head of his cock nicked a sensitive ridge inside you, eliciting a whimper, but you nodded. You nodded again, feeling the brush of his stubble at your mouth and your chin, and nodded again when he bottomed out, stuffing you tight. It felt a little more momentous than any other time in the past, now that you were picturing a fullness that wasn’t just him. Him and you: a concrete being to soothe the sting of his absence long after Joel withdrew.

Something to stick.

“Please say it, baby.”

Someone to call yours.

“I want it,” you said, sounding desperate.

A coil was just starting to form in the place you felt him. Drifting up, pulling tight, making your eyes go glossy and wide while they stuck to Joel’s and begged him for more.

“Want what?” He sped up, and his thrusts got sloppy.

“Want you,” you breathed, “Inside me, Joel, please.”

As if predicting your next thoughts, the man lowered his hand to your belly. You hadn’t even noticed the smallest bulge had taken shape beneath the skin. Joel slowed, momentarily, then rubbed the base of his palm against the mound where your body was obliged to make room for his cock inside you. He drew soft, tender circles there and, with the motion, sent stars flying before your eyes.

“Good girl,” he murmured, “Right here?”

“Ri— right there. Right there.”

Joel adored that sound. The soft, elated look, the gentle knoll of flesh in a bump below his hand, the whimpers rolling off your tongue repeatedly, quicker and quicker the more the pleasure inside you continued to build. Joel’s release was coming soon, too. For the hundredth time that night, he silently wished he were a little younger; so he could fill you up once, twice, twenty more times until your insides were stuffed and painted white. As if reading his mind, as he had for you, you wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him in for a kiss.

“Hope our baby has your eyes,” you murmured to him.

It shouldn’t have had such a strong effect—but of course, it did. Joel pictured the small, sweet infant with irises that shone a bit like his, and his stomach caved in.

Tonight, tomorrow, or ten months down the line, he was getting you pregnant. He’d clear his whole schedule for it

“That right?” And now he couldn’t stop the smile as he spoke, leaning even further in, “What about their nose?”

He kissed the tip of yours.

“Hope they get this.”

He kissed either one of your cheeks.

“These too.”

You had to fight back a laugh while his scruff tickled skin. Two deep strokes away from the brink of release and he still somehow always stayed in tune with your needs.

The threat of your peak was perilously near. Joel’s spend and your slick, tender glaze made a chorus of sounds at each thrust, and the deeper he went, the bigger it swelled. Your smiles couldn’t stay for much longer when the feeling inside you both was being amplified like that. Sensing this, Joel took hold of your face and slipped his touch to cup your chin. He made you tilt your head up to him, as if to ask again, ‘Are you sure?’ and when you nodded, his lips twitched again. A fleeting hint of a grin, like he couldn’t be more eager to finish now if he tried.

Holding your face, cock swollen and throbbing and desperate between your walls, he felt a familiar twitch.

There it is.

[a-b-riddle]

Part Four

Can't stop thinking about reader losing her cool.

"So we're closed, John." You said, trying to be cordial.

"Is that all you have to fucking say?" He practically growled before huffing. A humorless chuckle rumbling out of his chest. "I suppose not since you won't respond to any of us."

"Don't do that." You said taking a step back. Trying to create some distance between you and him. John would never physically hurt you. That much you knew.

"What?" He asked. His voice rising as he stepped closer to you. "Be angry that you pulled that shit and then left? Stopped talking to us. Changed your fucking locks. Last thing we even knew about you was that you got on a fucking plane and left. Even your friends wouldn't tell us anything besides that you were okay." "Which considering this came out of bloody nowhere, I find it highly unlikely that you are in any way 'okay'."

You took a deep breath. You wouldn't be intimidated. You wouldn't clam up. You wouldn't cry. You won't go back on your decision. You will be cordial and polite and not unleash everything you want to.

"I understand you might be upset, but it's for the best. It wasn't working out and I wanted to end on somewhat good terms. I would appreciate it if you lowered your voice and stopped speaking to me in that way." You could barely recognize your voice. It sounded so scripted. So robotic. But it was something you had been telling yourself. Excuses you had been telling yourself.

Because if you told yourself the truth. The picture you would paint would tell a different story. It wouldn't highlight the fact that John spoke to you like he was one of your men or that Johnny had the emotional capacity of a teaspoon. It wouldn't show what a flake Kyle was or that Simon was well and truly a mean-spirited person.

It would show how you weren't worth it. Four possible men. Four possibilities of happily ever after and none of them chose you. That no one ever did and no one ever would. You weren't worth it. You weren't loveable.

It wasn't right, but it was what the voices had been telling you late in the night. When you would crawl into your cold bed. The silence of the room not filled with John's steady breathing or the sound of Kyle's heartbeat as you laid you head on his chest. The absence of Johnny's occasional snoring or whatever Simon was watching playing in the background of your dreams.

In the void, all your dark thoughts came back at you.

"Upset?" He asked, his voice still louder than you would have liked. "An understatement considering the stunt you pulled."

"You think it was a stunt?"

"So Johnny thought with his dick and didn't plan things out. You should have told him instead of crying to Simon and then pulling this shit." "Christ, I knew you were still young, but I didn't take you for that immature."

"You know what?" "I'm done." "I am so fucking sick of making excuses for you all." "You want to act like I'm the immature one, John?" "You are 35-year-old man who cannot separate his work from his work like. You have continuously talked to and down to me like I am one of your men, only to turn around and always blame your shitty fucking attitude on work. I get that your job is stressful, but I did not sign up to be your verbal fucking punching bag."

"And this come and fucking go incident with Johnny. It has been a consistent issue with him coming over just to fuck. I've asked him for that last six months that 'hey, we've been seeing each other for a year and a half, I would love to meet your family' and suddenly the dates stop. He doesn't ask to see me until after 7 PM. He brings food occasionally, fucks me and leaves. Sometimes before I even wake up."

"And the only reason Kyle is the person I am the least pissed off with is because I haven't even seen him." You took a step closer, not noticing how the anger in John's eyes had softened. "I have not seen Kyle in weeks, to no fault of my own. I stopped reaching out to make dinner plans after the third time he canceled on a date night when I was either on my way or already at the restaurant."

"And Simon?" You scoffed. "Well, it doesn't really matter. After all, as he said I get mine. You all make me cum which is supposed to magically erase how shitty you've all been as partners. It's supposed to erase the nights I've cried myself to sleep debating on whether or not there was something wrong with me. How I'm not good enough to meet anyone else in your lives like some dirty fucking secret. How none of you can even bother to pencil me for a group dinner so I can tell you a publishing house picked up my book. How at some point you all stopped caring or maybe never did."

You took a breath. Blinking quickly to keep the tears at bay.

You wouldn't cry. You wouldn't cry.

"As Simon said it best, I should have known that spreading my legs wouldn’t end with one of you putting a ring on your finger.”

For once, John was silent. Unsure of what to say. An apology starting to form at the tip of his tongue before realizing 'sorry' wouldn't cut it. Not this time.

Had he really been that sharp with you? He knew that there were times he had gotten short, but he almost always apologized immediately after. If not at the very moment he took in your crest-fallen face, then definitely later. But he almost always told you he was sorry. Didn't he?

"So as I said," you swallowed down the lump in your throat. "I'm closed. We're done. Now get out." Your face held no sadness. Even though your eyes were nearly full to the brim with unshed tears, you weren't sad.

You were finally angry.