#but that's mostly bc i think the phrase 'have your horse and eat it too' is rly funny

[mumblesplash]

don’t you hate it when your civilization flees deep underground to escape the wither only to find yourselves trapped down there with something even worse. anyway surprise! i can still draw

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

we’ve had foster pupper harvey for like, a week, and so far:

-i have endured more dog spit than three humans should ever deal with, i am lubricated enough to become a giant slug at all times

-covered in the bruises and scratches one associates with very stressed, hostile cats seeing the giant barking baby for the first time he couldn’t get to them, there’s an aviary door, but apparently that doesn’t mean they can’t lose their shit and climb you like a tree... three separate times

-has somehow wiggled his giant fucking body through the dog fence, in what family has referred to as ‘the closest thing you’ll ever see to birth, head first, one shoulder, the other and he slides on out’, which is a phrase i never wanted to hear... 

-just fucking took off like a racecar after the nearest wallabies once outside the fence, requiring everyone to fucking run through ass-deep grass squeaking toys in order to find him, he thought it was HILARIOUS... sibling caught him eventually

-once caught, offered pure Passive Resistance by flopping to the ground and requiring himself to be half-carried, half-dragged back up the hill to home, then had a massive nap after his cuts and scratches were dealt with

-has adopted a not-so-helpful stalking walk when he sights a cat, thinks this will make him less spooky so he can talk to them... does not work; still not allowed near them

-can no longer go out into the yard without someone with him, has to go out on a lunge lead, specially bought in a huge hurry from local horse store... 

-refuses to do certain bathroom activities whilst on the lunge lead, waits until no one is looking, has gone through an obscene amount of puppy pads in the last few days... literally, 110 pack, 5 left...

had to buy more. like, they’re $25 for a big pack (puppy pads are just blueys, like in hospitals, let’s be real) so some of us are very poor

-cannot be allowed to be alone in the house... will eat literally anything.  fucking ANYTHING, has chewed no less than three shaving razors to shreds, somehow avoiding causing any damage to his mouth??? also took out several dolls, a pumice stone, a plate, and several mad magazines... he’s a whirlwind

-has a cute little dance he doesw when excited, even when sitting his two front legs seem to tap out this pattern that always makes me think if the opening notes to Africa by toto

-still jumps up all the time, working on ‘down’, he gets it mostly. sometimes thwarts the rule by jumping up on the wall or nearby furniture, and falling back, into your arms. like some romance novel damsel in distress... who licks your face. lmao.

-have had to order a bunch of specialised items to work with him... so what we know about him after observing his behaviours over the last week is: -definitely ~8months, just very large -was a christmas puppy, who was originally very loved and always playing! -got too big, had no training or manners or boundaries -was clearly left outside, chained in a backyard for a significant length of time -his reactions when dealing with other animals, with people and how he responds on a lead have informed this analysis. whoever threw this boy away failed him, but at least he won’t spend his life tied up in a backyard desperate for love.

+he’ll need a ‘halti’ or however you say it. Special harness that allows you to control a large, powerful dog without having your arm wrenched from its socket... +getting a clicker, to reinforce training (has ‘sit’ and ‘down’ and ‘come’; about half the time. his emergency carers taught him ‘sit’ in a week, and we’re following on with more intense work) +special teeth-cleaning treat ball... for one, he’s a smart boy who would love a treat ball, but also it’ll be a good challenge + good for his mouth. +slow-feeder bowl. Harvey eats like the offspring of a vacuum cleaner and a leafblower, desperate and exploding it everywhere. He is under the impression it will disappear if he doesn’t get it immediately... (Harvey requires puppy food, but given how small the puppy food kibbles are, and how he eats at current, we have to give him regular optimum, just because the kibbles are larger... also they absorb water a little easier, which is how we slow his feeding down at current)

+a screaming chicken toy, he loves anything that squeaks, and will come immediately 

+stronger dog seatbelt

we already had a bed, bowl, blanket, handful of toys, harness, collar, etc. waiting for him, but it tends to amass to more once we meet the new doggos, and learn their specific needs.

-he is desexed, so that’s one less thing to worry about. 

-he is not currently adoptable, and likw Willow before him, will be with us for some time, just to learn how to calm down and accept affection without being so anxious. he’s a lovely boy, who is also a little shit, but we love him.

-he’s going to get bigger. Harvey has no fucking clue how big he is, or that suddenly licking someone up the leg/on the butt is not ‘cute’ and rather ‘sweet motherfucking christ what was that?!’  but he’s only 8 months and we think he’ll grow larger soon enough. he was a surprise when we got him/we were told ‘puppy’ and got a 26kg animal who could put his front paws on your shoulders and lick you on the forehead

-likes to chew on electrical cords, has given me a heart attack more than once

-can crawl through or over any barrier, #demon

-likes to fall asleep with his head on your feet/resting against your ankle, or with a paw touching you. very affectionate.

-can be supremely frustrating, but then, so are kids

-has to be reassured when put in bed/crate for night, or in the bathroom (bc it’s easier than trying to move another dog outside with him free)

-ww’ll have to create a run and reinforce the fences before he can run free

-has been known to pull clothes off the line, for fun. doesn’t ruin them, just... takes them off. has no concept of ‘games’. will chase a thrown ball, but does not think to retrieve it. willow had the same issue, she learned to play when socialised with the other dogs living in the household, but he’s not ready for that yet. soon.

-loves all the other dogs 100% does not understand jumping on them (esp. blind foster doggo Debbie) does not gain their love (he is pure puppy, no training, no manners, nothing but continuous frantic need for approval... working on calming him down, he has done really well since arriving, able to sit and have little naps, and one-on-one training/affection)

-he will be the perfect addition to a family soon enough, he’s soft and loving, very energetic, playful and fun. just needs to stabilise, grow reassured that he doesn’t need to be so desperate for affection and anxious, and learn to sit/stay/play. etc.

it’s been a big week and money should grow on trees, gdi