#but that's ok bc it's for the vibe and JC gets it

[lady-starkiller]

‘interview with the vampire’ has me dusting off the old bible...shaking my head...curse you themes of catholicism and general christianity

[doufudanshi]

for anyone who criticizes jyl for bringing soup to yiling instead of like, money—

we should first ask: could jyl actually have given wwx money? she must have something, you say. the jins are rich! she could even give him some of her betrothal gifts.

but realistically jyl probably didn't have much money at all! let's think this through. not only did she not marry jzx yet at the time of her yiling visit, but (based on many, many imperial palace tv shows lol) all her worth would be in betrothal gifts of jewelry, fine clothing, or other misc items, which is 1) heavy and difficult to transport without notice, but that doesn't actually matter bc it's ultimately 2) disrespectful to sell and worse to have the gifter find out when they come by for tea and you begin chatting about the event in two days and they say oh where's that one-of-a-kind jade bracelet I gave you wouldn't it match the also one-of-a-kind silk garment that lady jin gave you sooo well oh you will look so lovely in it won't you wear it.

or worse, have it recognized in some random pawn shop on the street by someone who has never really liked you and WILL get you in deep shit for it.

does jyl have any money from the jiang side? well, jc has been busy at work rebuilding lotus pier and the clan since before wwx's defection, and even if he's not borrowing a shitton of money from the jins (which he almost certainly is), he definitely has the opposite of surplus funds. he's also busy organizing and buying gifts for the wedding too, making him go more in the red because you know the jins aren't going to want cheap-ass things even if you don't have money.

let's say jyl did get a significant bride price (aka given money money)—not only does that go to her family (jc), but it is given during the ceremony (which, again, hasn't happened yet). and, realistically, jc probably will have to use it to offset the costs of the above.

beyond that, let's just take this scene from a storytelling perspective. sometimes it is simply about the emotional resonance. the vibes. let's say jyl did have some funds to give wwx. but imagine if jyl was like here a-xian take all this money 😐 ok sure useful for some period. but is that the gift that wwx would want during the first time he's gotten to see her in months, and likely the last time he will see her in a long, long time (possibly years)? would that be impactful for the story?

meanwhile, the soup she brings represents her love. we hear in the extra, from wwx's own words, the care she put into selecting the ingredients, making sure the lotus root is fresh and perfectly ripe. it also takes hours for her to even make iirc. wwx derives so much comfort from it—that's why it comes up again and again. it is one of his first memories of feeling safe in lotus pier, of home. it provides wwx some semblance of normalcy. he hasn't had any this entire time, and is likely something he aches for whenever he's homesick or sad or questioning his choices. it is simply, given the circumstances, incredibly thoughtful. (and how meaningful was it to see wn treat it with such respect? seeing that is literally the moment in the chapter when wwx realizes—ah. the wens are people I cherish as well.)

and regarding jyl coming in her wedding dress—it is not for herself. it is for wwx. we saw how devastated wwx was just to even hear that jyl was getting married because he had to hear it from someone who wasn't jc or jyl. and to immediately then realize he cannot go? even more heartbreaking. and jyl, who clearly knows wwx extremely well, would know, without having to ask, how upset wwx would be to miss such a huge occasion in their lives that was previously a given. this is what she can do to offset that, even just a little. because jyl came in her dress, wwx gets to experience a piece of her wedding even though he cannot physically be there. not to be a 2000s mastercard ad, but there really are some things that money can't buy.

idk there's also some fist-shaking at the class discrepancy in the scene. and I get it. it sucks! her dress is certainly lavish, and the wens are farming on a corpse mountain and have only just started making a bit of money. yes, it's fine to think that if you were in the character's shoes, maybe you would've found it to be in poor taste—but the story isn't about you. it is about these characters, and what this scene means to them. and I'm of the camp that if there is no indication that wwx is upset by any of this, and in fact moved by it, there really isn't reason for the reader to be righteously indignant about these things on a character's behalf. that's just not the focus or the point of the scene.

plus, jyl is sharp. she is likely more aware of the discrepancy than most people think. she has also been shown in the text to not just be another sheltered, spoiled noble (re jzx soup incident). but if what you want is guilt from jyl—I personally think that guilt is performative, and accomplishes nothing. her guilt would've only made wwx unhappy. instead, here is an action that is meaningful and brings joy to wwx. to share her joy with him is not selfishness, nor is it some lack of awareness of their situation. if in this moment, she shows off her dress, if she revels in her joy, her happiness, it is for wwx, and wwx is incredibly moved by it.

and let's face it—wwx, of all people, would want to see jyl in a wedding dress that cost more than rebuilding lotus pier from the ground up. he wouldn't want anything less.

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

~*~

1. Thank you for answering my last request 🖤

For the next in “ITMF” I would like to read some good fanfics with Lan Wangji being older than Wei Wuxian

I’m okay with omegaverse, fantasy setting and problematic content in case anyone wonders @kanrax-blog

you only ever touch me in the dark by sweetlolixo (E, 5k, WangXian, Modern AU, Dark LWJ, Older LWJ, Age Difference, Boypussy, Intersex WWX, Feminization, Rape/Non-con Elements, Dirty Talking LWJ, Stalking, Size Difference, WWX Has a Non-Con Kink, Dark WWX, Daddy Kink, Mirror Sex, Restraints, Virginity Kink, Blindfolds, Deranged4Deranged Wangxian)

and

4018 by sweetlolixo (E, 28k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, A/B/O Dynamics, Older LWJ, Immortal LWJ, Pregnant WWX, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Age Difference, Boypussy, Vaginal Fingering, Dry Humping, Knotting, Blow Jobs, Dirty Talking LWJ, Angst with a Happy Ending, Size Difference, Feminization) as well as few other works by sweetlolixo. beware tho quite a few of those fics deal with consent issues (although most of the time it is deranged4deranged wangxian)

Like stones on an unseen board by Vir_Abelasan (Not Rated, 11k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Dark LWJ, Older LWJ, Teacher LWJ, dark twin jades, Age Difference, Manipulation, Protective LWJ, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Corporal Punishment, Relatively canon-typical abusive Jiangs, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Not JC Friendly, Not Jiang Clan Friendly) lwj is mid-20s, wwx is ~18; dark-ish but protective twin jades; not jiang friendly. warning that this one ends pre-relationship!

~*~

2. this is a bit specific but may i ask for fic where someone starts calling wwx 'the son of a-' and gets interrupted by 'the son of who? cssr, bssr's disciple? wcz, a rogue cultivator?' the cinderella fic has a similar line but not exactly (bc its said against wwx's own self deprecation). (honestly, i would also love a cutting response of 'ok he's the son of a servant and still better than all of u, you were saying?' but the gentry probably won't compute that lol) thank you!

SIMILAR! golden when the day met the night by glitteringmoonlight (Not Rated, 95k, WIP, WangXian, Canon, Slow-ish burn, Sugar Daddy LWJ, which is an anachronistic term for this fic but it fits, Light Angst, Fluff, Developing Relationship, WWX gets all the appreciation he deserves, even if he’s a bit confused about it at first, warprize au with a twist, in that everyone thinks WWX is a warprize, but LWJ has only platonic and honourable intentions, at first 😏, Eventual Smut) similar to #2, in the latest chapter of this fic, lwj interrupts someone who's about to call wwx son of a servant

~*~

3. Hello! Do you know any fics with the same vibe as By Any Other Name by ShanaStoryteller? Or any like To Choose Another Path by TsumugiHitomi? Thank you so much!

The Concubine Mo Chronicles Series by Enigmatree (T, 71k, WangXian, Royalty AU, Prince LWJ, Concubine WWX, Mild Hurt/Comfort) maybe ?? or at least i kinda associate them lol

~*~

4. Hi! Do any of you lovelies know of fics in which A) Nie Huaisang is the one to donate his core to Jiang Cheng? I mean, it's not like he's using it, right? And B) fics that feature Jin Zixuan & Mianmian's friendship? That doesn't have to be the fic's focus, but I'd love to see some backstories there. Both canon era and modern AUs are welcome. Thanks! @danegen

4B)

mianmian the disaster lesbian saves the cultivation world by likeshipsonthesea (T, 27k, wangxian, LWJ & LQY, LWJ & JZX, fix-it, friendship, awesome LQY, war, blood & injury, light angst, self-acceptance, awkward JZX)

Candy & Conspiracies by Reverie (cl410) (T, 16k, WangXian, XuanLi, MianQing, Jīn Sect WWX, Chaos Gremlin WWX, Fluff and Crack, Humor, Cloud Recesses, Found Family, pure idiocy, And some light murder, good madam jin, No Angst, Canon Divergence)

~*~

5. anyone has any recommendations of modern with cultivation aus? preferably similar to "the truth will out (when caught in video)" by kizu_katana, or just good and similar to the book characterizations (im also a little in the mood for some not jiang friendly). thank you ♥︎

a tide in two seas by occultings (microcomets) (E, 81k, wangxian, modern w/ magic, parallel universes, post-canon, getting together, pining, case fic) this, is kinda modern, but as in modern wangxian travel back in tima and meet canon wangxian

💙 this river runs to you by sundiscus (T, 53k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Mutual Pining, Dragons, Literal Sleeping Together, Tender wound tending) and of course, my absolute favorite

Work in Tandem by MimiSpearmint (E, 23k, wangxian, LWJ & LSZ, modern cultivation, single parent LWJ, swordflight instructor WWX, fluff, protective LWJ, getting together, smut) but this one's jiang positive iirc

💙 the soft animal of your body by sysrae (T, 15k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, modern culitvation, Golden Core Reveal, Hurt/Comfort, Whump, Animal Transformation, Shapeshifting, Sort Of, Getting Together, Confessions)

Hear a song this deeply by so_shhy (T, 87k, wangxian, modern cultivation, music, kid fic, action/adventure, canon typical JGY behavior, slow burn, fluff & angst, happy ending)

Coil Tightly by Thunderstruck (Blueyed_Impala) (T, 50k, WangXian, Dragon LWJ, Shifters, Modern with Magic, WWX is oblivious to magic, Slow Burn, Fluff, Attempt at Humor, References to Animal Abuse but the animal is LWJ, Hurt/Comfort, WWX Has Self-Esteem Issues, WWX has abandonment issues, Possessive LWJ, Clueless Flirting, OC Lan disciples for plot reasons)

other earths and skies by binghecarer (T, 53k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, (but not in the typical way?), Slow Burn, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Canon-Typical Scars and Injuries, Curses, making a deal with a mysterious mountain spirit (?) to help your found family?, there was only one bed and it had narrative significance, (oh my god it had narrative signigicance), Hurt/Comfort)

~*~

6. #itmf some similar fics to "hidden in the clouds" by karmiya, as in cultivator lan wangji and courtesan wei wuxian 🩷🐇 thank you for the good work!!

Some Things Are Just Fate by Signe_chan (E, 24k, WangXian, Prostitution, Rape/Non-con Elements, Injury, it's soppy actually I promise, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending)

~*~

7. Hi. For the ITMF I'd like to ask for fics where Wei Wuxian somehow hurts Lan Wangji unintentionally and obviously feels really bad about it (the more angsty, the better) but no WIPs please

~*~

8. Hi there, can I hop on this IITMF series? Because I am in the mood for ✨️royalty wangxian✨️ and I feel like I've read them all (I know I haven't and need help finding some). Preferrably finished, but not a dealbreaker. I especially love ones that have passion through social etiquette, carefully crafted rituals, and words that mean WAY more than what they seem, you know? Sorry if its too much, its a tall order. Thanks also for this awesome account.

practicing our mistakes | End Racism in the OTW by isabilightwood (E, 49k, WangXian, Fairy Tale, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, royalty-adjacent AU, rom com, all the parents live, especially Mama Lan, who needs a divorce, consort competition, lwj does NOT want to participate, fake courting his best friend is the obvious solution, Qīnghéng-jūn's A+ Parenting, matchmaking while mutual pining, wwx is a mostly human-looking demon, Monsterfucking, Submissive LWJ, Dominant WWX, Bondage, (fully consensual), Outdoor Sex, Fluff and Light Angst, wwx's tail expresses his emotions, Bottom LWJ, Top WWX)

Royalty AU Compilation

~*~

9. Hello! As always, thanks so much for all your work, I have found some beautiful works and authors thanks to you ^.^

I need help finding fics where cql! Wangxian meet novel! Wangxian or similar scenarios. I’m so sure I have read some of them but now I can’t find even one! Could you give me a hand please?

I remember enjoying the dynamics of “what do you mean you are/aren’t married!” And I just wanted to re read some :,)

Thanks!! @neko-in-gotham

💙 feel better love by Anonymous (T, 8k, WIP, WangXian, implied WangXianXian, Post-Canon, Crack Treated Somewhat Seriously, in a haha jk...unless? way, Light Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Crack, Crossover)

Key Differences by pupeez4eva (T, 5k, WangXian, Humor, Dimension Travel, Crossover, Drama!WWX meets Novel!WWX, Public Confessions, Post-Canon)

We always get what we deserve!(Doesn't matter even if you think you don't deserve it. Fate has mysterious ways!) by Ajareenlovesbtsandshinee (Not Rated, 16k, WIP, WangXian, Post-Canon, CQL WWX and MDZS WWX Exchange places, Happy Ending, Post-Canon Fix-It)

The Young, the Horny, the Jaded and the Jade: Partners in Time by Admiranda (M, 55k, WIP, WangXian, Established couple, Crossover, road trip with your older selves, teasing your younger selves about their obvious crushes, yin iron does yin iron things, mdzs/cql crossover, adult wangxian, Teenage Wangxian)

not quite the same by M00_Nie (T, 5k, WangXian, Post-Canon Módào Zǔshī Novel, Married WangXian, Established Relationship, Multiverse, WWX in MXY's Body, WWX in WWX's Body, Post-The Untamed (TV), flustered lwj, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, WWX being a menace, wangxian being in love, Dorks in Love, Alternate Universes, Fluff, A little bit of angst, WWX Being WWX, WWX is a Panicked Gay Supportive LWJ)

the roots by thelastdboy (E, 30k, wangxian, major character death, graphic depictions of violence, post-canon, post-untamed, MDZS/CQL combination, transmigrator LWJ, dimension travel, time travel, parallel universes, desperation, WWX pov, LWJ pov, heavy angst, mental health issues, giref/mourning, abandonment, depression, suicidal thoughts, hurt/comfort, getting together, rogue cultivator WWX, WQ lives, found family, cottagegore, it gets worse before it gets better) gotta do some self-promo for #9

~*~

10. Hiii I love your page and I thank you for your hard work in finding us so many fics 😁

For the next ITMF, do you know of any fics about A) JC being brought back as a fierce corpse like WN and this making everything somehow better or B) any good crossover fics of Hualian just taking care of bb WY (or even after he dies) and just WY getting the family and status he deserves? @crazy-gay-killxr

~*~

11. Hello! Thank you for all that you guys do!! <3

I was looking for some fics with wangxian as grandparents

The Boy with the Sunshine Smile by Witch_Nova221 (T, 153k, WangXian, Family Feels, Family Fluff, Post-Canon, Romance, Domestic Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings, Parenthood, Growing Up) it's not a major plotpoint, but wangxian become grandparents at the end of this story

~*~

12. Hello hello! (＾▽＾) I was wondering if you got any fic were WWX's cultivation doesn't corrupt/actively harm him, like it's not really more dangerous then reguler cultivation, like he knows how to do it safely, something like that? it would also be nice if others learn that and/or WWX explain how it's safe,

Did I Not Explain Why the Sunset Turns Red? By 3988Akasha (E, 110k, wangxian, time travel, canon divergence, Canonical Character Death, Soulmates, Demonic Cultivation, Original Female Character(s), Emotional Constipation, Minor Character Death, Hand Jobs, Sexual Content, Bathing/Washing, Idiots in Love, Poetry, Mild Gore, Anal Sex, Angst, Rimming, Blow Jobs)

~*~

13. ITMF the filthiest spiciest hottest WangXian fic you've ever read.

I Won't Tell If You Won't by anxiousTypist (E, 11k, WangXian, Modern AU, Masturbation, Public Masturbation, Semi-Public Sex, Exhibitionism, Voyeurism, but not really, no one sees, Coming In Pants, Wet & Messyish, Mildly Dubious Consent, PWP)

~*~

14. Does anyone know if any TopGun Aus exist? I feel like mdzs would have a field day with this concept. Especially with the volleyball scene. I've read Pacific Rim au that was really good so I'm more or less curious since I see both of these movies in the same category. @skylar-lei1634

~*~

15. Hi! So this one is a mix of itmf and ficfinder request, but I remember reading a fic where WWX got pregnant via talisman. Do you know a fic like this? Because I can‘t find it for the love of god, but I want that plot and more of it. Thank you so much! @desperation-is-my-middle-name (also in a previous FF post)

with arms wide open by violia (M, 4k, WangXian, Character Entering Into M/M Marriage Invents Mpreg In Hopes Of Pleasing Their Spouse With An Heir, Fluff, Post-Canon, Canon Compliant, Slight Misunderstandings, secret reveal)

~*~

16. any fics where wwx comes back to life and lwj doesnt recognize him but falls in love "again"? @chellsky

Love Song In Reverse by timetoboldlygo (T, 237k, WangXian, Amnesia, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Falling In Love, Slow Burn, agressively mixing and matching novel and cql canon, No Homophobia, Mentions of Starvation, Parental WWX) this one that i recently recced

By Any Other Name by ShanaStoryteller (Not Rated, 31k, Wangxian, Canon Divergence, Crossdressing, Misunderstandings, Identity Porn, Identity reveal)

Tumblr series Lady Mo by Shanastoryteller is ongoing. Here's a link to the latest one because it has links to ask the previous installments so far, but definitely recommend reading in order so start with the first one.

~*~

17. Hello, for the next ITMF(In the mood for), I’m looking for wangxian mpreg fanfictions with scenes of childbirth in. Preferably with Wei Wuxian being the pregnant partner.

Thank you for your work and i hope you have a great day.

Blood, Google, and Love by Prairie_Grass (E, 4k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, they were roommates, A/B/O Dynamics, Getting Together, Mpreg, semi graphic giving birth, Alpha LWJ, Omega wwx, Intersex Omegas, (or you could head-canon WWX as trans if you wanted), Fluff and Angst, the run-on sentences are on-purpose because WWX and LWJ are both:, neurodiverse characters, slightly traumatic birth)

Surprise Baby! by trulywicked (M, 10k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Modern Cultivation, Mpreg, Unplanned Pregnancy, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Didn't know he was pregnant, birthing scene, Little bit of blood, A/B/O Dynamics, Inspired by Twitter, Established Relationship, Fluff)

On The Way Home by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 59k, wangxian, Modern, Mpreg, Non-a/b/o mpreg, Unprotected Sex, Unexpected Pregnancy, Friends With Benefits, Getting Together, Pining while fucking)

~*~

If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***

[jittyjames]

For the Fandom asks! 1, 2, and 4!

thanks anonnnn!!!

alright so for number 1. for hamilton- the community by far is the best part (although there have been a few bumps lately) there are so many genuinely talented people who here, and it's been an honor to create with you guys and brainrotting with y'all over these dead assholes. even if I don't talk to most of you, I still love everyone in this community.

I also like how long I've been here. like i grew up with hamilton. I've been around for all of it (though I was a twitter girlie, not a tumblr girlie) but you better bet your ass I was scream-sobbing when lin cut his hair after his final performance. then I laid in the floor for the rest of the night. I was there for the hamildrops. I was there for ham4ham wednesdays when they were still a thing. I was there for lin on snl. i was there for lin's g'morning/g'night tweets. i was there for sons of libertea updates. I was there for the tony awards when i was 13. like I've seen people come and go from this fandom, and I'm still here. like it's truly my fandom. that's why I'll never truly leave

there's also constantly some form of content to be consumed. it's endless. there will always be something new to look at.

for jcs- it's lowkey helped me heal??? idk if that makes sense but I used to not be able to even stomach the mere mentions of religion bc of my upbringing, but now I'm literally fine with it. and i actually can enjoy things with religious undertones again. it might sound dumb, but I really appreciate the humanization that the fandom has helped bring to something that used to haunt me. the way the fandom genuinely cares for these characters is so... so good.

THE PEOPLE. ONCE AGAIN. THE PEOPLE. I might not talk as much as I want to bc I'm terrifyingly shy, and honestly so intimidated by the sheer amazing abilities all of you have, but I'm constantly just reading everything with the biggest heart eyes. I love y'all. genuinely some of my favorite people in existence, and you've made jcs one of my favorite fandoms to be a part of. I'm honored to be able to call you guys friends. I genuinely admire all of y'all so much. you guys have my heart.

finally, i kind of like how small it is. like we all know each other. obviously I would like jcs to get more love and would love to see more content, but I love the little community that i've joined. it's so intimate. and I love getting to see all the amazing ideas being born in real time and watching the creative process.

2. hamilton- when I was a kid, i didn't like the asshole hamilton trope (is this even a trope?? is this not canon??) and would avoid any fics that painted him in a negative light. thankfully i grew out of the hero worship stage tho, and can enjoy the complexity of characters.

jcs- listen when i was hardcore religious, the entirety of the headcanons i subscribe to would have freaked me outtttt. like all of them?? especially jesus/judas dynamics?? especially judas being sympathetic??? (once again these aren't headcanons. that's literally just the show.) ok let's go more specific tho from the time when i was normal. a headcanon i didn't think i would like but absolutely adore now is mostly to do with smut, so I will refrain from sharing lmao

4. hamgelica- alright y'all. I don't see the appeal in it. even in the musical. (shh it's my least favorite part even if satisfied is such a good song) i like angelica and alexander to have a sibling type relationship, but y'know... i do like the way they're both intelligent and seem to match each other's vibes. '

as for jcs. I don't have a ship I don't ship. they're all so shippable. I see the appeal of all of them. I could take two completely random characters, and it would work.

[plan-d-to-i]

I'm so sorry, Plan. I just want to vent so I sent this ask.

https://twitter.com/mizunocaitlin/status/1488788138419838976?t=r2Nqeb-BKwGLnEVX21obBQ&s=19

So according to this tweet, WWX manipulated JC to accept the transfer and it was a morally gray choice. Op, pls, tell me in what part of the novel did WWX manipulated JC into accepting the transfer (coz I didn't read anything in the novel that says that he did) and how did it became a MORALLY GRAY CHOICE (seriously ugh). Coz JC knows he's getting a GC. He CONSENTED to it. And no, he didn't ask any particulars about it. He CONSENTED to it knowing IT IS WWX'S CHANCE OF GETTING A GC BACK IF, SOMEHOW, SOMETHING HAPPENS TO HIS OWN GC.

I just want to scream into the void. I really, really want to. Once again, I'm sorry, Plan. Just venting my pent up feelings.

Haha it's ok. Ugh kill this ridiculous core transfer hot take w fire already ლ(ಠ_ಠ ლ).

I discussed the core transfer at length here. But let's address this one really quickly too:

WWX didn't hide it from jc bc he feared jc couldn't deal w the guilt of WWX sacrificing so much, or even bc he was afraid jc would reject the core. He didn't tell jc bc he knew it would give jc the angry sads that he couldn't mindlessly engage in his unhinged one sided competition w him anymore.

If someone as unhealthily competitive as him found out about this, he’d be dispirited his whole life, too tortured to face himself. There’d always be something he could never overcome, reminding him that he could only reach where he was because of another’s sacrifice. It wasn’t at all his cultivation and his achievement. No matter if he won or lost, he’d long since lost the right to compete.

And he's right. jc's reaction finding out about the core isn't horror at how much WWX sacrificed it's: "so u agree? u think ur better than me >:-/ !!?". It's frustration that WWX will always be a better person than him and that it feels awks to dump all his hate so casually on him now. Also, as usual jc tries to twist all of WWX's motivations through his own fucked up lens where every good deed must be done w an ulterior motive - which says a lot more about jc than it does about WWX:

Jiang Cheng let out a hah, “Of course. Giving without expecting anything in return. What a high level. Unlike me, of course. So that’s why my father always said you were the one who truly understood the Jiang Sect’s motto and did things the Jiang way, back when he was alive.”

Wei WuXian couldn’t keep on listening any longer, interrupting him, “Enough.”

Jiang Cheng’s voice harshened, “What do you mean, enough? It’s enough as long as you say so? You know everything! You’re better than me at everything! Whether it be talent or cultivation or spirituality or personality, you guys knew everything while I was much lower—then what am I?!?!”

He suddenly reached out, as if to seize Wei WuXian’s collar.

and then there's this ...

no sense just vibes. At least someone accurately answered them. YZY literally made WWX swear he would protect jiang cheng w his life and it was also Jiang Fengmian's final request. It's what WWX has in mind when he goes through w the core transfer to keep jc from hunger striking to 💀.

"Wei WuXian stared at him, Just what does he want? Is he lying? Is he being insincere? But this lie really is too ridiculous! Does he think that I’m an idiot?!

The scary thing was that a desperate ecstasy really did sprout from somewhere in the bottom of his heart.

He gave himself a harsh scolding in silence—he was stupid, useless, ridiculous, it was bizarre, unimaginable. Yet, he was alone, without a sword or any tools, and on the other side of the wall there were thousands of Wen Sect’s cultivators, perhaps Wen ZhuLie as well.

He wasn’t scared of death. He was only scared that after he died, he wouldn’t be able to save Jiang Cheng and betray the trust that Jiang FengMian and Madam Yu left him. In such circumstances, the only one he could place his hope on was a person of the Wen Sect whom he had met only three times in total!

Wei WuXian licked his chapped lips, speaking in a dry voice, “… Then… could you… could you help me… take the bodies of Sect Leader Jiang and Madam Yu…” (Chapter 59)

"He remembered every single thing he promised Jiang FengMian and Madam Yu—to help and take care of Jiang Cheng." (Chapter 103)

Also the procedure was dangerous (and excruciating) for WWX. If it failed jc would still not have a core but WWX would be left without his for nothing. The risk was on WWX's part. I know reading comprehension is hard for jc stans but this is a pretty basic concept. jc climbed a mountain blindfolded, happy to con Baoshan Sanren into giving him a new core , and ready to do anything to get it, and he got it. A more powerful core than his own. A core he was perfectly happy with that he used to lead a siege to kill WWX and the ppl he was protecting. A core he has not desire or intention to give up. At no point does jc say: "I wish u hadn't give it to me >:0". Ppl throwing around words like "violated jc's body" sounding foolish af. Taking a heroic sacrifice, framed as a heroic sacrifice in the novel, and trying to vilify it to make their shitty fav look better.

[lesbian4lqg]

top 10 the untamed characters based on how much theyve played third wheel to wangxian

1. wen ning

this is obvious

the scene where they show up in the burial mounds and start to untie the juniors, but instead of explaining whats happening wwx just hands wn his sword and watches w lwj? all three of them were completely in synch, not a word was said, but they fucking knew anf they were having way too much fun w it

literally the whole reason he has consiousness is bc they teamed up

its aro week and i wanna take this second to say that this is a win for my ace aro wen ning & qp wn&wwx and wn&lwj agenda

three-way parenting for lsz

(god can you imagine if wq lived? theyd be too powerful)

was one of the first ppl to hear wuji outside of wwx and lwj

the boat scene????? wwx and lwj were gazing lovingly into each others eyes and wn was just. vibing. dude didnt even look that uncomfortable, just like it was another day im-

literally every scene wen ning was in after wwx came back to life tbh

2. the xuanwu of slaughter

they were literally cradling each other in their arms while an entire murder tortoise was trying to kill them

the telepathy talisman? iconic, why dont we talk about that more

life threatening battles are just hella gay by design, esp when theres swords involved. idk what to tell you

3. lan sizhui

just look at his name. lwj named him that unironically. holy shit.

the temporary parallel universe that was lwjs visit to the burial mounds? what we couldve had smh

i know lwj and wwx lovingly annoy the shit out of him post canon, bless his heart

4. nie huaisang

the bit on dafan mountain where he's like "oh fuck thats dangerous i dont want to run out of here" and wwx and lwj make eye contact and then are just like "thats rough buddy. anyway, lets do it"

"oh wow this adventure we're on is so cool" "we? this is about me and lan zhan, what the fuck are you talking about"

when they see him right after they fuck up the nie tomb and theyre lowkey just bullying him

the scene at the end where wwx confronts nhs while lwj just watches knowingly? theyre once again bullying the poor man

he gets extra points for orchestrating everythig. dude really said "oh jgy thinks he's funny? well wwx and lwj are about to be completely fucking hilarious" and then just sat back and watched shit go down w occasional commentary. king shit

5. lan xichen

when they come back to cloud recesses after mxy!wwx's reveal and theyre like "the dude whos kinda debatably the love of your life is the real evil here" and he just has to deal w that

ok it felt weird putting him this low on the list but like. he and jc were mostly emotionally third wheeling??????? like he wasnt in a ton of scenes w just him and the two of them, but he had to cope w lwjs pining all the time

6. jin ling

really should be lower on this list but he has extra points bc again, i cant believe they let lwj and wwx name things

the part where theyve p much Just been reunited and they immediately have to go break him out of the nie tombs? dude wasnt even concious but i feel like it still counts

7. jiang cheng

i feel like he shouldve been higher on this list too, but im not listing everyone and again he just doesnt have scenes w just the two of them

however he def had to deal w so much pining. the reunion on dafan mountain AND the reuinion during the sunshot campaign. the golden core reveal. the 3 months of him and lwj searching for wwx alone

8. jin guangyao

technically no scenes w just them but like. the bullshit they got up to undoubtedly lived in his brain rent free. theres no way he had any peace

honorary mention for stuff from the novel like the guanyin temple confession

10. literally everyone

these dudes are everywhere and they will make it everyone elses problem

the skywalkers of fantasy ancient china

post canon discussion conferences? the water abyss or whatever in caiyi? the sunshot campaign? the murder of the cuanwu of slaughter, which helped kick off the sunshot campaign? nightless city pt 1 AND 2? the going-ons of literally every chief cultivator? that was all them babe

honorary mentions include: lil apple, lan jingyi&ouyang zizhen, wen qing, jiang yanli, the ghosts of cangse sanren&wei changse (and prob madame lans ghost as wel tbh), su she (ty @ghostysword for reminding me- i totally forgot about him) and everyone whos seen the show

[pumpkinpaix]

*waves* Hi! New(ish) follower, I followed for your posts about translation which are beautiful (especially the one about the imagery of "Zewu-jun") and thought-provoking; I don't have a good segue so here are some Salty Asks I'd like to know your answers to concerning MDZS: 5, 9, 10, 12, 23

oh, that’s so sweet of you!! thank you I’m really happy you enjoyed them 💛

okay salt incoming let’s see--all opinions are my own, no one has to agree with me, etc! and in true cyan fashion, this ask meme response actually needs a readmore  l m a o

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

fandom has not ruined any ships in mdzs for me, but it has made me way more critical of both wangxian and xicheng interpretations. not in the sense that like, I think they are bad! i love wangxian and xicheng, but I have very very specific feelings about them that I rarely see reflected in popular fandom interpretations. (because i am a picky bitch lol) 

wangxian tends to get the “they did no wrong and their love is righteous” treatment which I find disingenuous and believe directly contradicts the point of mdzs. i think that wangxian is fundamentally a very selfish relationship, and that that is, in fact, a good thing. i love that about them. i care so much about the assertion that your desires do not have to be perfect and righteous to still matter and be worthwhile. i don’t understand the impulse to make wangxian into a pure ship that triumphs and “deserves” a happy ending because they were right all along. I always felt like the entire point of mdzs was that--you can be the most terrible person, you can do unspeakable harm, and still be loved and deserving of that love. i think wangxian is compelling and moving specifically for that reason, and I often have to back out of interpretations that don’t acknowledge it in the way that i want them to. a lot of interpretations tend to idealize wwx and lwj in ways that I disagree with, and I’ve seen a lot of vitriolic pushback over anything that’s seen as even vaguely critical of either of them, when the point isn’t that “wwx/lwj is a bad person because he is selfish” the point is that “wwx/lwj’s choices are selfishly motivated” -- that’s not meant to be a value judgment, at least for me.

(i understand that a lot of this has to do with CQL’s influence, in which wangxian IS narratively rewarded for their righteousness, but as I’ve discussed at length, I think that positioning undermines what makes mdzs so powerful to me in the first place. not that i don’t love CQL!! i do love CQL--they have made a beautiful thing within the constraints that they had. but I think the novel is much stronger thematically.)

as for xicheng: i think that their relationship could be extraordinarily interesting if done in specific ways--I do not think they are well-suited to each other at any point in the canon timeline, but that they could be something really good maybe 10 years post-canon. I used to really like the idea of xicheng romantically, but as time goes on, I’m leaning harder into friendship. I think they have a lot of uniquely shared life experiences, and that it would be really good for both of them to have a person that they knew understood those experiences intimately: the pressures of leading a sect before adulthood, the grief of losing your family in a massacre and being unable to save them, the betrayal of someone who was once so close to you--that’s a lot. and i think there are very few people in their generation who could truly understand that. (for this reason, I also think lxc and xxc would be a very interesting relationship to see many many years post-canon, if xxc were ever revived) but during canon? no, absolutely not. i don’t think lxc has the slightest interest in jc, and i don’t think jc is particularly moved by lxc either, beyond a distant “yeah i mean, he’s the first jade everyone loves him sure moving on” kind of way. they both have their own shit to deal with, and before lxc’s seclusion and also before the core reveal, i think jc is too angry and vicious for lxc and lxc is too soft and toothless for jc. for someone to really convince me on xicheng, jc has to move towards some kind of self-forgiveness and peace and lxc has to move towards self-assertion. then I think they can meet somewhere in the middle of all that.

and like, it’s not that i won’t read silly fluffy aus or like canonverse stuff with them in a ship, but i admit that because it’s grown so popular but not at all in the ways that i personally want, I’m frustrated with and have retreated from reading it. unless it’s done in the specific way i like, it has too much of a pair the spares vibe for me to get behind it anymore.

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

jin guangshan, obvious reasons, next

ok well, i guess to elaborate even slightly: jin guangshan, to me, is the embodiment of the systems within mdzs that cause tragedy. he and chang ci’an are similar in that respect? like, the callousness with which they treat people they consider beneath them. what is nothing to them is ruinous for another, but why should they care? but jgs really had every advantage handed to him and chose to use that advantage to hurt others in really insidious ways and i can’t forgive that. jin zixun is also on this list, but like, still ahead of jgs bc he’s younger. -_- i suppose in that respect, i also very much dislike chang ci’an, but that’s a bit harder to quantify, given that we know almost nothing about him.

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

huh. uhhhh. i think i actually really like all of them? in the novel anyways. if we’re talking CQL, yin iron plot ugh.

12. Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn’t? Why?

I think for similar reasons to 10, not really! I don’t see a lot of hate for any specific plot arc. Oh, maybe the incense burners? I completely unironically love those. people rag a lot on mxtx’s smut, but it’s very important to me for a number of like, personal mental health reasons lol.

23. Unpopular character you love?

xue yang! i think xue yang’s character raises a very interesting point about equivalent justice that kinda gets swept away in all the uhhhh murder. and it’s a point that has really big thematic repercussions, I think? but the way it’s worded makes it very easy to dismiss.

very briefly: xue yang is right when he says that 50 lives cannot pay back his finger, because there is nothing that can pay back that finger. no vengeance or sentence visited upon chang ci’an will ever be equal to the injustice that he visited upon xue yang. i think there’s a bit of naivety in the way xxc says “why didn’t you cut off his finger then? or his whole arm, if that wasn’t enough?” and the answer I think is very obvious--xy cutting off cca’s finger would not in any way be the same kind of trauma that xy losing his finger was, esp if chang ci’an knew who xue yang was. there would be an understanding in that: i am losing my finger because this man blames me for the loss of his finger. but to xue yang, a 7 year old? the pain he experienced was completely senseless and cruel and terrifying.

does that mean xue yang was justified? no jesus christ, but i do think it ties very neatly into the general themes of what it means to get vengeance, what it means to get justice, and how cycles of trauma eventually end. so i love him for that.

on a lesser note, but a similar one: i rather like su she, I think. there is something about like, jgy’s “all i had to do was remember his name and he was willing to die for me” that gets to me. there’s a huge tragedy in that somewhere.

wow i have no idea if any of that was coherent im very sleepy

salt asks

[mostlikelytofangirl]

What was your first impression about every character in mdzs ?

And also who do you think you resemble the most ?

Ahhh good question!

Mostly bc my memory is crap XD. But I'll try my best to remember! Full disclaimer tho, the first version of mdzs that I consumed was donghua, so that's where my first impressions came from.

- WWX: I'm honestly not the kind of person to fall first and foremost for a protagonist (it's been years since the last time a protag was my fave), but I genuinely liked this dude from day one. I thought he was fun and a bit (lot) unhinged, but legit smart and capable without being smug and annoying about it. And for the record, I still like him lots!

- LWJ: That entrance, man. That was cool af XD. But I do remember thinking that I needed to see more of him to form an opinion bc the silent, mysterious type has never been particularly interesting to me.

- LZS & LJY: Good Boys! Both of them. One was a polite darling, and the other a chaotic little gremlin that worked together well and did their best ;u;.

- JL: Bit of a brat, ngl. I legit thought this was going to be the Draco Malfoy "my uncle will hear of this" kid. And he was XD. But I'm glad he wasn't just a One Trick Pony character.

- JC: Another badass entrance! Gotta confess the horny overpowered the cleary asshole vibe he was exuding. I thought he was going to be an actual villain too. But since I'm a villain fucker I had no issues with that whatsoever. I even thought that he was the dude I was going to root for throughout the story (spoiled: I did).

- WN: Oh, I remember thinking "dude, this guy must have such a badass past. Surely someone so powerful named Ghost General must have been a real powerhouse. Can't wait to see his story of epicness" :').

- NHS: I was honestly not impressed lol. I thought that this was going to be the comic relief character that everybody likes but doesn't do much apart from being cute and silly. Also the exposure character bc he always explained everything that was being talked about in a scene. FORESHADOWING.

- LXC: Regal man, good wingman for bro. The big brother that solves your bullshit and is always kind and full of Wisdom(tm). If he says something, it must be true. Liked him right away.

- JFM: He is nice, I like this guy. His parenting seems questionable tho, but he seems to have the best intentions at heart.

-YZY: Bitch. But damn, she has a point or two.

- JYL: Precious angel that must be protected but she is totally not going to get protected T-T.

- JZX: Even before I put two and two together that this was JL's father, I remember thinking this was another "my father will hear of this" brat. Runs in the family, I guess lol.

- NMJ: Oh boi. This one I have the clearest memory of all. I saw him appear on screen and I automatically thought "this is him, isn't it? This is daddy". I was right, I was so right.

- WC: Not impressed either, typical asshole villain that is going to be more a pain in the ass than a real threat. Same with girlfriend whose name I can never remember.

- WRH: Hot DILF Villain. Legit threatening and scary, good bad guy.

- WQ: Rough love there, but she has a good head on her shoulders and has balls. Wen Queen it is.

- JGS: Curse donghua for making everybody hot XD. I honestly thought this dude was not going to be of much relevance, he seemed the scaredy, play it safe kind that would get destroyed in a real conflict.

- MY/JGY: First thought was "aww he's cute". Second thought was "please don't be a bad guy, look at you, all milfy and smily, trying to help common ppl and do good". Third thought was "ok you shady, but also still cute and milfy, so I'll probably end up staning you anyways". Take a wild guess on what happened XD.

- XY: Whoa, you cray-cray. Didn't like him much at first tbh, he seemed to be cruel for no reason and I never liked the Evil for the Sake of It trope, nor characters that were nothing but sassy bastards. He grew on me tho.

- XXC: OMG you are another angel that must be protected! You deserved so much better wtf!!

- SL: He deserved better right away tf!

- A-Qing: I only remember pitying her, she was living in a psychological horror all those years.

These are all the characters I remember having an impression on, others I didn't give much thought or cared enough about to put real effort into what I thought of them, at first at least.

Now that I think about it, most my first impressions remained the same in essence as the story progressed, sans an exception or two. But for the most part, it seems like my opinion on these characters got more nuanced and complete without changing much.

As to who I think I resemble the most. Hmm, that's a complicated one bc I don't think I'm particularly similar to anybody. If I absolutely had to pick only one tho, I'd say LXC. I try my best to be nice and see things from different perspectives, but I also suck at handling conflict, and would give good solid advice that I'm definitely not going to apply to myself bc it's easier to see others' problems, but my own? If I don't talk about them, they are not there :))))

[opal-apples]

I added 854 tags in 2021

#mdzs - 429 posts

#wangxian - 82 posts

#for tahm - 75 posts

#wwx - 60 posts

#lwj - 51 posts

#jc - 38 posts

#jgy - 36 posts

#history is neat - 29 posts

#nhs - 29 posts

#cql - 25 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#jin ling every morning affirmations: i have the power of god and anime on my side. i am jgy's special little boy. i am never going to die.

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

Ok!!! It's time!!! I'm starting word of honor!!!!

4 notes • Posted 2021-09-11 22:08:13 GMT

#4

jgy and wwx are both debate boys with wildly different vibes and that's why they didn't get along. you have to put them on a policy team together and then they'll take over the world

22 notes • Posted 2021-12-05 19:37:17 GMT

#3

I only have a vague notion of the plot of tgcf bc I didn't get to reading it before the translations came down so here's my uninformed understanding of what happens:

- gamblers den is horny as hell

- hc has a sword that's alive?? And represents his like Inner Wantings???

- xl is the the white ghost or like killed the white ghost?? The one w the 🎭 u know

- the two helpers from the first adventure are doing a little bit of identity fraud for funsies

- hualian get stuck in a coffin and hc confirmed switch

- oh oh the beef from beefleaf is also doing identity fraud?? Or just straight up lying???

- does ling wen pull a jgy be honest (pls don't actually I don't want more spoilers)

Anyway I can't wait to get my paws on the novel and find out if I got any of this right

29 notes • Posted 2021-11-20 21:06:22 GMT

#2

36 notes • Posted 2021-11-29 21:03:55 GMT

#1

dipshit (affectionate)

169 notes • Posted 2021-01-19 03:54:12 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[gonzocoded]

Zukka Performing Arts Majors AU

part 2 of this post!

ok y’all did NOT like the first part, but i’m not gonna let that stop me from making part 2!!!

(disclaimer: this focuses more on Zuko’s end of things bc it’s what i know)

Zuko

So!! I still haven’t decided which school Zuko ends up choosing, but since projecting my own experiences here let’s say it’s a liberal arts university with a top-tier MT program (let’s say it’s top 20)

is this me bragging about going to a top 20 MT program? yes. yes it is.

if you see MT from now on just know that it stands for Musical Theatre, in theatre school we call musical theatre majors MTs!!

anyway, so Zuko is an MT and he’s loving it!! He books every show, upperclassmen love him anyway bc he’s so endearing and also wildly talented

Sokka

Sokka is a music education major! His concentration is in clarinet!

he tried percussion at one point, but it just did not fit his vibe

Sokka is exactly what i wish my band teachers in middle school (i didn’t take band in high school) were like!

He’s great with kids, so I think he would lean more towards middle school

please take a moment to imagine middle school band director and conductor Sokka teaching the beginning students how to read sheet music!! i die!!!

Ok, Zukka Time

Ok, we’re skipping straight to junior year because that’s the year that almost killed me personally

junior year as an MT is Hell. It just is.

it’s the year when the faculty pushes you as hard as you can go, and if you break then you’re just not cut out for this career.

So yeah, it’s pretty brutal.

Fall semester starts and immediately Zuko is swamped with work from the very first day of classes

His musical theatre performance class has a new project due every week and he has to start actually thinking about his future in the performing arts, which is obviously terrifying

So yeah, he’s pretty stressed.

And in case i wasn’t projecting onto him enough, why not give him the same coping mechanisms as me!! Spending every free moment he gets in the practice rooms!!

Practice room culture in performing arts schools is lawless and terrifying, here’s a rundown for you:

Rooms can be reserved, you have to make sure you’re there on the first day of sign ups otherwise you will not get the room and/or times you wanted

people will put their stuff in practice room and then just......leave for a full hour. literally the worst thing you can do. don’t do this.

If you are 15 minutes late to your scheduled time then you forfeit your room for that time slot

If you’re someone else’s room at their assigned time they can kick you out until 15 minutes after their slot starts

there are good practice rooms and bad ones, every musician has their favorite room.

Zuko’s favorite room (and mine) is room E217, it’s got a grand piano, a window, light blue walls, and, most importantly, AN ENTIRE COUCH!!

Zuko ALWAYS makes sure that he deserves this room for the semester and he never misses a scheduled time. Ever.

So, Zuko’s in the practice rooms one night after rehearsal (the building is technically closed, but that Will Not Stop Him)

It’s late, at least midnight, and he’s the only one in the whole hallway

This is of course the best time to try out a new piece or technique that you’re not too sure of yet because no one else will hear your if you mess up

also if you practice a monologue that late at night no one will hear you and think that you’re talking to yourself

Zuko takes full advantage of this and breaks out a new piece that he’s working on in studio, I wanna say it’s something from JCS, he’s be amazing in that show probably

obviously, if he’s singing JCS he’s singing some crazy high notes, he’s hitting about 75% of them which is not enough for him because he Demands Perfection.

He’s been at it for like an hour and he’s gettin tired and annoyed with himself when someone knocks on his door

He jumps like a foot in the air he’s so startled

He looks out the little window in the door and who does he see? you guessed it, Sokka!!

Sokka is a sophomore, but he’s already learned the secrets of sneaking into he building at night to get into he practice rooms

Zuko opens the door because like….. what else is he supposed to do??
Sokka’s like “hey not to be a creep or anything, but I just wanted to let you know that you sound really amazing”

Sokka has of course seen Zuko in every show that he’s been in since starting at the university

He may or may not have a tiny crush on Zuko

Zuko may or may not recognize Sokka as the loud but attractive clarinet player who is always talking in the performing arts library even though it’s a library

They’re both blushing at this point and then Sokka’s like “ok well I’ll let you get back to practicing, sorry to bug you”

But Zuko’s like “wait!” But he doesn’t think of anything to say after that, he just doesn’t want Sokka to leave

He says “uhh, I’m Zuko by the way”

Sokka smiles and introduces himself

They sort of just stand there smiling for a second before Zuko sees Sokka’s clarinet case and asks if he can hear him play something

(“It’s only fair since you already heard me!”)

They spend the next hour or so listening to each other and chatting and flirting!!!

By the end of the night they’ve exchanged numbers and Sokka has asked Zuko out!!

That’s all I’ve got for now!!

[one-doesnt-simply-walk-in-bagend]

MDZS Pacific Rim au

Ok I’m gay and love soulmate shit like souls just meant for each other whether platonic/familial/romantic just that shits so good and what better way to express that than in huge robots beating up giant monsters?

So jaegers right? Ok sect backgrounds

Yunmeng Jiang: Specialize in water battles with controlled yet fluid movements. They specialize in midranged battle with swords and whips that keep kaiju at a distance but theyre also very adept at close combat. They definitely have hidden daggers in every open crevice of their jaegers

Gusu Lan: Specialize in more aerial battles, not like sustained in air battles but using different maneuvers to gain the advantage over kaiju. They tend to work in pairs and work in tandem to disorient and overwhelm the kaiju. They’re strict because not only do you have to vibe with your copilot but you also have to know what other pilots are thinking so you can work together 

Qinghe Nie: Ok so Nies made some of the og jaegers with nuclear power and low shielding because it give them a Massive Boost in power but it was also dangerous for their pilots. While the other sects went for better shielding and less dangerous power sources, the nies kept the trade off because pilots felt that risking their lives was worth protecting their people. Nie pilots tend to die young

Lanling Jin: Kind of like the Nies the Jin style has trade offs. They opt for thing light plating so they are quick to maneuver and get at weak points on kaiju. They specialize in speed and precision to keep them alive and effective. They’re basically squishy genjis 

Qishan Wen: Idk I feel they have experimental but dangerous tech that they test. The sects are wary of them but they get results so there’s not much they can complain about. The wens have the advantage because so many of their population are drafted for their pilot program where the other sects take volunteers and people who want to become disciples.

This might get long so imma put the rest under a read more :L

Ok so do we want plot or soulmates first? Hmmm plot to explain the soulmates

We start with wwx and jc. Yzy trains them fast and hard with the other disciples and they both excel in their training. Wwx and jc have a jaeger named Night’s Envy. 

They are a team to be reckoned with as they balance each other. Wwx is impulsive but has great instincts and his ideas are brilliant if risky. Jc on the other hand is calculating and analytical and he takes his brothers ideas and turns them into a viable plan they can both pull off. 

Yzy is always harsh on wwx for his tactics saying hes going to get his brother hurt one day but wwx just laughs it off with jc bc they trust each other so well. 

Also because they drift, they know of each others insecurities and help each other when tensions spike etc etc. We are here for supportive brothers ok?? They are the Twin Heroes of Yunmeng and are inseparable. 

God I havent even gotten to the plot yet. Ok this is a bit of a step back to their training days but this is where wwx and lwj met. Wwx and jc go to the Cloud Recesses training facility because its the most advanced in the country. It’s strict there but their training is top notch and keeps their pilots alive. Ofc wwx gets busted by lwj for alcohol and thats how wwx gets on lwjs radar.

Lwj doesnt know how to feel about wwx, besides annoyed, because hes such an amazing pilot but doesnt control his actions. Wwx excels in the studies and training but is so carefree and flippant about everything that it frustrates him to no end. Doesn’t help that wwx loves to rile lwj up to get a reaction

They end up developing a competitive relationship and always try to outdo each other in training sims and sparing. All the other disciples know about the top two students duking it out for top spot but they keep switching between each session. Before they get to actually try drifting together wwx gets into a fight with jzx and gets kicked out (spoilers they are drift compatible) 

Ok back to our Twin Heroes. Night’s Envy gets deployed for a kaiju but their fight starts to drift into Wen territory. Idk regulations or smth say they shouldn’t infringe on anothers territory so yzy tells them to come back but wwx spots the kaiju headed for an undefended village. It would take the wens time to deploy their own pilots so wwx and jc look at each other and nod. Wwx says their headed to save the village and yzy is furious telling him off for being impulsive and not listening but it was also jc’s idea (he wont say that tho bc he doesnt want him to get into trouble)

Wwx has a wild idea, jc finds out how to make it work, and they go after the kaiju as it bears down on the village. They’re able to push it back but it gets a hit in and jc gets injured and knocked out. Wwx is left to pilot solo and manages to subdue the kaiju before piloting the jaeger to crash next to the village

This is where Wen Qing and Wen Ning come in because this is their village and they pull wwx and jc out from the wreckage. Wq stabilizes both of them and wwx is the one to wake up first. Their comms were broken in the fight and the village doesnt have advanced enough comms to get to the jiangs so wwx stays and helps the village while taking care of his brother who is still Out

Little do they know that the Wens are Unhappy about them infringing on their territory and bar yzy from sending parties to collect her pilots and jaeger and theres now Tension. (Wens are just using this as an excuse bc they want more power in the jaeger industry and want to incorporate the other sects)

Once wwx catches wind of this, he enlists wn’s help in getting them out and they’re able to get an unconscious jc back into the jiang’s hands but then he himself gets caught by wen chao and wen zhuliu. he’s able to say wn was his prisoner and forced so hes safe but wwx is now in their hands.

He gets beaten, tortured, etc for information but manages to escape and find his way back to the wen village. Wq helps him back to health bc he protected her brother and he stays there because he can be safe there. (This is where he basically adopts a-yuan bc i say so)

When jc wakes up hes back with the jiangs but his brother isn’t there. He goes Off and hes doing everything he can to try and get back to find his brother but he was unconscious and has no clue about the village let alone where it is. 

Soon war breaks out between the sects bc the wens are using their weird tech to take territories from the other sects and now the sects are fighting on two fronts: the kaiju and the wens. Finding wwx is lowest priority for the sects but jc is still out there searching and when lwj hears of it, so is he

I think once the war breaks out wwx starts to move his village of wens to a safer territory from both the wens and other sects bc he knows no one will be spared. During his time at he village, he ventures out to bigger wen cities and learns about their experimental/dangerous tech and learns how to use it and program it to his advantage

He makes his way back to the jiang territories once he has amassed a thorough knowledge of the wen tech. he uses that knowledge to take out wen pilots and outposts in the territories he pushes through and becomes a ghost. the only evidence of his presence is the destruction left in his wake. 

Jc and lwj at this point have just started searching together and thats when they stumble upon wwx using wen tech against the wens. Jc is so angry with wwx for leaving him and being away so long but hes also crying as he hugs him close. Lwj is wary of the tech wwx is using because its experimental and dangerous idk. Jc takes wwx back and they continue fighting the war.

Now the jiangs and thus the rest of the sects have an advantage because they have an insider who knows the wen’s plans (meng yao) and someone who knows how their tech works and can use it against them  (wwx). wwx is able to set up some tech to hold off kaiju so certain forces can be pushed to the wen front to end the war quicker

in the final battle wwx is able to get them a huge advantage with the tech but gets hit hard with backlash and gets knocked out during the battle and lwj and jc defend his unconscious figure as meng yao gets the final blow on wrh and the battle ends. 

Idk i want lans to still be healers cuz i want lwj to take care of an unconscious wwx while jc and the others deal with the end of war idk meetings etc plus there are still like,,, kaiju attacking lmao

jgs is gonna be targeting wwx since he knows the wens tech and its uses etc. the jins go after the remaining wens bc they want their tech blah blah. they find wq’s village and wwx goes off. he goes and rescues them (wn is injured but alive) and takes them away. jgs spins this as wwx trying to amass his own tech to take over or something and people believe that for some reason w/e

the massacre at nightless city is wwx trying to talk to them about the wen remnants being no fighting army etc etc but doesnt matter and someone attacks him and he fights back but of course experimental tech isnt always good and it accidentally gets too powerful and hurts a Lot of People (jyl is alive). wwx is knocked out by the backlash and lwj takes him to safety. 

wn is there and he takes wwx back to where the rest of the remnants are hiding and lwj fights off 33 elders who try to follow/intercept wn and wwx

I haven’t decided how the rest is gonna go but I have Ideas. Tbqh there’s a lot missing in between the bullets but i wanted to get this all down 

[creepweirdo]

i started tgcf again, still struggling tbh but im pushing on! xue yang yi city angst is too much for my weak heart but i’d be down for some happy xue yang recs if you’ve read any! omg i love that you thought so many iconic scenes were made up by fic writers haha that’s amazing. as for cap i always say he has a lot of love to give. you can ship him with anyone tbh, i prefer him with sam but peggy and bucky are all valid! make them poly, idc. i think my proudest moment in the shadowhunters fandom

was when the author blocked me on tumblr lmao she’s such trash the show wasn’t amazing all the time but i love me some bi rep. i love your change to wwx’s parents. imagine that fam is they actually had some self worth. jyl shoving zixun into the bushes. jc and wwx more badass than the twin jades. i mean wwx’s mum went to cloud recesses so she could’ve sent baby wwx to learn still, but i like repressed lwj exploding when he met adult wwx too haha. i think for my change i’d have madam jin kill

jin guangshan as soon as he started womanizing. stop him being power hungry for the stygian tiger seal, removing jiggy (and mxy sorry baby) and a lot of the mess that follows. the jin being against the wen might stop their advance and save gusu/lotus pier as well. house cat is smart! sleeping and eating sounds like me during quarantine. well and pretending to work while watching kpop mvs. as for animals i’d be a mantis shrimp if you don’t know them google mantis shrimp oatmeal and

prepare for their punchy rainbow glory. i aspire to that level of badass! ok q's! which character would you want for your (platonic/romantic) cultivation partner! what place would you want to visit once the world gets back to normal and why? (if you had infinite money/travel options) /your talkative cc! 💜

HAHA hi my talkative classified cultivator!!

omg yes push through! you can do this ahah ❤️

yi city didn’t have to be as heart breaking as it is 💀 i read on the wiki that the yi city plot was a story that mxtx came up with when she was in high school?? and ahhhh imagine that as a fleshed out 400k heartbreaking story 💔 omg happy?? xue yang fics 😳 i’ll see what i can do LMAO i’ll put them at the end

OH MY GOD THAT IS AMAZING! that’s such an achievement!! put that on your resume: blocked on tumblr by cassandra clare (that’s her name right? she doesn’t deserve a google search ❤️)

jc and wwx had so much potential 🥺 they so would have been more badass than the twin jades ahaha!

oooo i like your changes! very smart and gets rid out our bestie’s existence 😼 nice

lmao pretending to work 💀 so true. omg the mantis shrimp!!! i’ve seen that comic 😭 they terrify me! they way that they could kill me instantly 😭😭😭 ahhh very badass and scary 😳

oooo hahaha so for my platonic cultivation partner - even though i said i would like to be from the lan sect, i think i’d want my platonic cultivation partner to be nie huaisang HAHAHA. for the reasons you said a couple of asks ago!! it would be just vibes. chilling all day and gossiping ❤️ life goals. and my romantic cultivation partner 😼 wen qing - i just think she’s neat. she would treat me right LMAO.

omg if i could travel anywhere in the world!!!! and with unlimited money! i would LOVE to do a like 12 month long art/history tour throughout europe 😭 it would be so amazing to see all the iconic classical artworks - especially artworks from the renaissance. i’ve actually been to italy before on a school exchange for like three weeks back in 2017 😁 (i went to a catholic school so the only language offered to learn was italian hahaha). we spent about a week and a half in rome/florence/venice and then spent time with our host families. and omg i would LOVE to go back to florence and see all the galleries 😭 i would love to go back to the sistine chapel bc i feel like i didn’t appreciate al the artwork and historical significance. last year i did a renaissance history unit and i learnt all this cool stuff about the things i saw in italy, but didn’t appreciate it at the same level as i would now 💔

ahaha so yeah i would love to travel all across europe and do detailed tours of all the historical sites and galleries and ahhh it would make me so happy 😭

(next year i’m doing two chinese studies unit and a japanese history unit at uni so i bet my answer to that question next year will be me being like “i want to visit china/japan and see all the historical sites” LMAO)

but a place i wanna go to which i think is possible for me in the near future is tasmania, australia! there’s this really quirky art gallery called the museum and old and new art and i’m pretty sure they have this huge wall of painted vaginas  💀 so yeah i would like to see it ❤️

wow i didn’t mean to talk to much about travel ,,, such a covid mood ahahaha.

lmao who would you want to be your platonic/romantic cultivation partner(s)? and what about travel for you? i’m still not 100% sure WHERE your from ahaha. your asks always come through when i’m asleep so you’re definitely in the northern hemisphere hahaha 🤨🤔🤔 also just did an analysis of some of your previous asks and you spelt favourite as “favourite” (like a normal person) so you’re definitely not from the usa 💀💀

ahaha yeah, that was a lot 😳 thank you for your questions! it’s friday for me rn so i hope you have a good friday when you get there lmaoooo!

here are the “nice” xue yang fics i have ,,, just a warning like all of them are horny 💀😭

okay so fine line is really good! it’s a modern au and they all come to love each other ahahha

and samsara is really good as well - it’s a character study groundhog-day time loop fic. i guess it can be described as happy ... catharsis and character development can be happy

this one was kind of sweet (and horny whoops), the beauty of your repair

[dorkylittleweirdo]

more anatomy shitposts

teacher: ok y’all have a different warm up today, instead of your normal 5 questions, imma have you list as many bones as you can without your notes, y’all have a little over 5 minutes

me: *finishes the worksheet in 2 minutes*

M: damn i only know 4 *looks over at me* JC how many do you-

me: ?

him: JC ARE YOU FUCKIN SERIOUS

me: ?!

him: *holding up my sheet, waving it aggressively at the teacher* YOU SEEIN THIS SHIT???

my teacher: ...*kinda comes up and grabs the sheet and takes it to his desk to grade*

M: wait no i needed that-

~

dude sitting behind me: *taps my shoulder* yo JC, you know what a collarbone is called?

me, immediately: clavicle

him: h o w  do you know that off the top of your head

me: *shrugs*

~

me: ok y’all so i took the Liberty of naming the chicken, her name is Mildred Van Der Graaff

the 2 girls in my group: yeah ok

my teacher: *wheezing*

~

teacher: ok guys so today you’re gonna take the meat off the bones and scrub them with a toothbrush

him: *looks at our group*

him: ...unless the person who boiled your chicken already,, did that, in which case you can just thank them

my group: wOO YEAH JC

M: of cOURSE it would be JC who did that smh

~

me: i hate this class, now every time i get hurt i can’t just go ‘ow shit my knee’ bc i spit out ‘ah fuck my patella’

my teacher: *wheeze*

~

my group: *talking about farm animals*

girl 1: isn’t there a word for taming a horse??

girl 2: yeah i think you break it in

me: that’s with,, shoes

girl 2: it’s for horses too, isn’t it??

me: idk i thought it was gentling but like??????

~

M: JC are you a mom

me: ?!?!!? w h a t

him: idk you just give off mom vibes

me: i don’t want kids

him: SERIOUSLY??? i want like 6

E: dude you’re only 15 tho right??

me: i’m,, almost 17, i’m graduating this year

E: o h

M: well i want kids

me: cool, i want a career

M: moooood

[a-very-fond-farewell]

The forbidden crack! Untamed prompts: 24/?

CLAMP AU n.3 [chengyu? yucheng? (JC/MXY) edition. don’t...question my taste bruh]: “Somewhere, sometime.”

[tw eating disorders mentioned + tw suicide mention (body sacrifice)]

[ok fam. ok. I get it. I would basically ship JC with a rock if it meant I could play with my crack AUs. but I have solid evidence for this one. I promise you.]

[so, “Kobato” from CLAMP is possibly my favorite series from them. it’s 6 volumes long, roughly 40 chapters (and I only recently found out there was an epilogue...even though it was not there in my published version of the series. bc your local cryptid did in fact buy the entire thing in the flesh, that’s how much I love it)]

[in this AU I’ll change some things for the sake of consistency, but I suggest you read it bc the hurt/comfort and pining is enjoyable...so...if you read my silly AU I’m afraid I will spoil the plot for u :( and that’s the last thing I want to do...I understand if you decide to go read the manga and skip my prompt. it’s ok, I’m fine, go and have fun ;-;]

[if you kept reading, hi :D]

[now. am I uncomfortable with certain common tropes in CLAMP’s work in general? yes. especially the age gaps between some of the characters, some of which are not adults. hence the reason behind the changes in this AU. but! the aesthetics fam. the beautiful drawings. the cute outfits. (*ﾉ▽ﾉ)

do you see these?? how cute would Mo XuanYu look in these fam?? I honestly hc him enjoying skirts and feminine outfits a whole lot, but you can imagine him with pants and they would be just as cute. my favorite one is the second from the left btw.]

(imagine Mo XuanYu like this btw and check out the fancomic by the same op! an anon suggested it to me a while ago and now I’m hooked!)

[other mangacaps bc you need visuals:

yeah. angry boy meets bby with a mission to accomplish, bonding over their inferiority complex. yep. I only love the nicest things in life. that’s me.

also look at my baby girl ;-; so cuTe]

[the title is from the ost from the anime series, “Itsuka dokoka de” (check it out!). the anime feels more cohesive than the original manga, possibly bc the pacing is handled a little bit better (since the manga was cut short and the end felt a bit sloppy, but the emotional engagement was still good). and I remember being 17 and crying like a baby when this song came in. if you don’t have time for the manga binge the anime instead! there are plot holes in both of them and the stories are different but still both very enjoyable if you like soft things and angsty vibes.]

[enjoy!]

*

*

When YanLi saw him for the first time in front of her door, at the beginning of spring, she thought XuanYu was too pretty and too young for his own good. Sitting across her on the floor, a tea set between them as he politely answered her questions, the boy couldn’t have looked older than sixteen yet he assured her he was of age and well into adulthood. Which seemed pretty difficult to assess, not with the way he dressed: cute button down, beret slightly askew on top of his pretty head and an old-looking suitcases in hand. She didn’t mention the stuffed black rabbit poking out from the front pocket of his luggage, which seemed more of a comfort thing than a reliable source of company.

Moreover, Jin Ling seemed transfixed by him, toddling his way towards their guest asking for cuddles... something her son had never done in front of strangers.

XuanYu refused to give his last name, nor did he have an ID he could show her, nor did he seem worried about how strange that was. And YanLi knew ZiXuan would have been against it, but she couldn’t leave the kid looking all over Lanling for a place to stay... so she gave him the only available room in their rundown pension.

She only hoped Jiang Cheng would be a nice neighbor and leave the kid alone. Who knew what horrors XuanYu was running away from, after all.

*

When XiChen heard from YanLi of her new tenant, he would have never guessed the kid to look so naive. Not in a bad way, mind you. But his smiles, for how genuine they seemed to be, looked a little bit too big. A little bit too strained not to be a distraction tactic from his part. Or maybe XiChen had lived too long surrounded by fake smiles and closed off people to not worry.

That’s probably why he gave XuanYu a job when YanLi asked him to look over the kid. More to prove himself there were still trustworthy people in the world than to give the younger man a chance. He couldn’t even pay him a full salary, not with the debt collectors breathing on his neck as he tried to run his late mother’s kindergarten.

But maybe that would have been enough for now. A starting point for something better, something new.

*

A-Yuan had always known the kindergarten used to be an orphanage back in the days, but now he had reached an age where doubts stuck to his head instead of being forgotten with the passing of time. Wen Qing and A-Ning were always busy -be it in the hospital or in university- and A-Yuan didn’t know if they loved him enough to keep him. Ever since granny had passed away he had wondered, day after day, when his cousins would have left him behind for good.

He was thinking about such things when he first met XuanYu, on the man’s first day on the job as a teaching assistant. A-Yuan was mulling over his sadness when XuanYu had come to his rescue, asking him what was wrong... before enthusiastically praising his cousins for working so hard after hearing they were late to take A-Yuan home. XuanYu stayed with him and they played on the swings as they waited for A-Ning to come pick him up, apologizing profusely.

On the way home, his cousin held him close and kissed his forehead as he asked him if he had had fun with the new teacher. And A-Yuan felt less doubtful afterwards.

*

After hearing the story from her brother, Wen Qing had made it her job to look into XuanYu and his weird approach to life in general. She took every opportunity she could grasp to spy on the younger man, lunch breaks be damned. She needed to confirm if the kid was a trust worthy person or a runaway child pretending to be older than what he actually was. Well, maybe tailing an unsuspecting young man on the streets of Lanling in scrubs and sunglasses would be considered a bit much, she could admit as much. But it was the thought that counted, no?

Her friend MianMian told her to knock it off and talk to the kid like a normal human being, but the truth was that... well, XuanYu was really too weird to be considered normal. He seldom put himself in dangerous situations without much care, such as picking up a random (and still lit) cigarette from the ground just to give it back to the person who had “accidentally dropped it”. Other times he would cross a road without looking left and right first, risking to be run over by cars at every corner. He never, never, fumbled with a phone and he frequently talked to himself... sometimes even directing his words to that creepy stuffed rabbit of his.

No thank you, Wen Qing felt safer behind light poles and crumpled newspapers held upside down. Even if that made her look sketchy as fuck.

*

Wen Ning made sure to arrive on time to pick A-Yuan up after that time, often chatting with XuanYu as they waited for his baby cousin to retrieve his backpack and raincoat. It was refreshing to speak with the younger man, no matter how weird he acted sometimes. Like that time A-Yuan asked him to tie his shoe-laces for him and XuanYu didn’t know how to do it. Or that time they caught the man taking a nap on the floor in the middle of the school hall. Or that time XiChen had ordered a cake for one of the kids’ birthday and XuanYu didn’t seem to know how to sing the birthday song.

Wen Ning had no place to judge, after all. But XuanYu’s smiles felt like balm on his heart. And if his sweet voice followed Wen Ning home as he bounced A-Yuan in his arms, well. Nobody needed to know that.

*

The last thing Meng Yao would have expected to hear that summer day when he called the kindergarten was a voice so different from XiChen’s. Startled, he had confusedly asked if the kid worked there and how so, given that the school definitely couldn’t afford to hire anyone. He ought to know. He was the debt collector.

But the kid apologized, introduced himself, and then explained XiChen had offered him a part-time job out of kindness more than out of need. The idiot. XiChen should have remembered who his money belonged to instead of taking charity cases left and right.

But when Meng Yao said as much to naive XuanYu, the other vehemently protested, surprising the debt collector with strong opinions on how he shouldn’t underestimate other people’s intelligence and kindness in the first place.

Meng Yao laughed out at that, genuinely so.

There was more to that kid XuanYu than what one would have expected.

*

Nie HuaiSang caught a first glimpse of the mystery man only in late summer, when XuanYu stepped into his cake shop to look at the display. His coworker MianMian seemed to recognize the younger man immediately, greeting him by saying they had a friend in common, namely Wen Qing. The kid merely tilted his head and answered he had never formerly met “Miss. Wen” and that he only knew who she was from what the woman’s younger brother had told him about her.

MianMian shrugged and smiled at him.

To which HuaiSang asked him what they could do for him and XuanYu... just... stopped working. Saying that he had wondered if he could do something for them instead. Apparently, Wen Ning had let it slip they were currently understaffed and needed a hand to deliver their sweets.

Delighted, MianMian set him to work, no matter how many times HuaiSang assured her they didn’t need to force the kid to help them... also because they didn’t actually have the means to pay him in kind. But XuanYu refused money altogether, simply asking them to let him help.

To their amusement (and horror) XuanYu didn’t know how to ride a bicycle, so he insisted on covering the deliveries by foot in the neighborhood instead.

HuaiSang called XiChen on the phone that same evening, asking him to give the kid some slack the following day. And maybe buy him some balm for blisters as well.

*

Jin Ling was young but he wasn’t stupid. Turning three had made him wiser, he knew as much. So he knew XuanYu was magical. He just did.

His pretty-gege talked with stuffed animals, always wore nice things, and kept in his satchel bag a vial filling up with magical candies every time he did something nice for others. A-Ling had seen it with his own eyes, that time XuanYu had put a plaster on his scrapped knee and blew on it to make the pain go away: the golden candy had appeared in the bottle out of nowhere and XuanYu had asked him to keep the secret.

And A-Ling may have been young, but he wasn’t a snitch.

No sir.

*

ZiXuan eventually stumbled upon their new tenant even though YanLi had tried everything in her power to prevent it. He was very displeased with her: taking a scrawny kid in, cutting his rent in half merely because he couldn’t afford to pay the room in full. Utter nonsense.

No matter how much this kid XuanYu praised A-Ling’s personality or YanLi’s cooking, no matter how much he smiled and made himself look accommodating and unthreatening. ZiXuan didn’t work pro bono even at the firm, let alone for his wife’s business.

Yet, when he asked to be let inside the kid’s room to formally discuss the terms of his contract (and tell him to pack his things and leave at the end of summer), ZiXuan was left speechless. There was no bed, no table or chairs. The fridge wasn’t humming and the AC wasn’t working. The only things he could see were the younger man’s clothes neatly folded in his open suitcase or hanging by the window to dry. No books, no snacks, no nothing.

Usually tenants brought their things in right off the bat, their stuff mailed in within a week after moving in. YanLi was very particular about it, she would have not overlooked something like that. But maybe she had been too busy with A-Ling these past few months and hadn’t noticed the kid was actually too poor to even breathe.

And now that he looked at him, XuanYu looked suspiciously skinny.

Was he sleeping on the floor? Didn’t he have covers for the colder season? Was his fridge broken, empty, or -gods forbid- purposely left with no power because the kid couldn’t afford the electricity bill?

“Do you actually live like this?”

XuanYu didn’t answer to that, but smiled anyway. It looked sinister in a way ZiXuan couldn’t explain, afraid of the things such a young man may or may not have endured in the past. And was maybe still enduring now.

The following day ZiXuan gave the kid their spare futon they bought in Japan on their honeymoon. They never had guests anyway and they could afford to pay for a tenant’s electricity bill every now and then, they weren’t poor.

Certainly YanLi would have agreed with him on the matter.

*

JinGy saw it. He did! He wasn’t lying! Xuan-ge was there, surrounded by darkness and shadows, looking over the children during their nap time, only a sliver of light coming from the door left ajar... casting shadows on half of his pretty face.

And he saw him reviving that stuffed black rabbit he always had on him.

The rabbit just rose on his hind legs and turned his head up and started whispering things to Xuan-ge, who nodded every now and then in deep though.

JinGyi had read about how paper-man talismans had been stuff of legends in the past. His books spoke of ancient times in which even corpses could be brought back to life. How even animals could turn into godly beasts if enough resentful energy polluted them. But he would have never thought magic could actually be real and so easy to play with.

And Xuan-ge had looked nothing but beautiful as he was talking to the stuffed animal, humming softly under his breath.

*

When Jiang Cheng dropped out of university for the second time, YanLi didn’t say anything and instead welcomed him back in his old room. So much for enrolling in law school at twenty-three, uh? ZiXuan would have been disappointed in him like the first time that had happened in his bachelor anyway, no point in avoiding the man. It was autumn anyway: it was either going back to the apartment complex or look for a new flatmate. But the school housing had rightfully kicked him out after dropping out in the middle of the academic year, so there would have been little hope for him to find a new place anytime soon.

What he did not expect to find was a new tenant living next door.

Sleeping in front of the door, clutching a satchel bag and a fucking stuffed animal on his lap.

Jiang Cheng jolted him awake and took in the sight of his shoulder length hair, his long lashes and sleepy eyes and thought he looked ridiculous. Wearing a silly hat and moccasins, purple shadows under his eyes, a confused expression on his worn out face. When asked what the hell he was doing there, sleeping out of his room instead of inside of it, the younger man said he had forgotten his keys inside that morning.

He was clearly an idiot, so Jiang Cheng walked away and returned to his room after more than a year away. If someone asked him who had rung YanLi to bring the spare keys to help the idiot he would have shrugged at them and shut the door in their face.

He didn’t have time for that, he had to think how to ask XiChen to let him back to work at the school the following day.

*

A-Qing had seen many things in life, met many horrible people, dealt with the scum of the scum... but she had yet to meet XuanYu. 

A menace. A hurricane. A fool. The amount of times she had had to scoop him up from the ground after he had clumsily slipped on invisible bananas and such should have earned her a honorary title for outstanding citizen. It’s been months since his arrival and the kids had already learned to make way whenever they saw him. He inspired fear even in their tiny heads, honestly. What a fellow teaching assistant, really.

She was just there to score brownie points for his electives and internship program to become a social service worker, that was true. But she cared about the kids enough to know she had to do something about that. The children loved XuanYu and they were this fucking close to either worship him like a small deity or criminal and something ought to be done.

The last thing she would have expected to see, however, was Jiang Cheng coming back so soon. Crawling back from university to ask to work there, wagging his tail like the lovesick dog he was. She could easily imagine what the older student would have said to XiChen, something on the line of “you know goddamn well I’m not doing it for the money. I grew up here, I don’t want to see this place crumbling down. I’m definitely not doing it because I’m in love with you and seeing you sad makes me want to gag.”

Well, maybe the last part could be considered artistic license from her part, but judging by what she could overhear behind XiChen’s office door... yep. She had definitely nailed the part about being fond of the ex-orphanage and for the rest... the sentiment was there. The pining bastard.

“Do you need anything, A-Qing?”, XuanYu asked her out of no-fucking-where, startling her as she pretended to dust off the floor very close to a door. Cheek-plastered-on-it kind of close.

“Nothing. Mind your business,” she answered, flustered as fuck.

XuanYu couldn’t be that naive, he knew what he was fucking doing. His creepy little smile so similar to the one the debt collect always had on his face. No wonder XiChen had fallen for such a tricky bitch.

“Then will you help me find JinGyi? He doesn’t want me to help him with his project for the festival and went into hiding again.”

There, that smile and knowing gaze. Judging poser. He looked much older than his alleged twenty years. He knew what he was fucking doi...

“You?!”

Jiang Cheng’s honest-to-gods screech pulled A-Qing out of her thoughts. She turned and had to witness XiChen amiably patting Jiang Cheng on the head as their boss explained him how XuanYu worked there. 

“It’s been almost six months now, he’s a very valuable kid and helped out around here while you were studying.”

Jiang Cheng was both livid and red with longing, because his touch-starved ass was all over that hand patting him platonically on the head. He was also angry, which was default for him... but there was something else underneath. Something promising in the way he stared XuanYu down.

Maybe A-Qing could win some candy by betting with the kids about such unexpected turn of events.

*

ZiZhen believed A-Yi. If his friend had told him the new teacher assistant was a witch then he was right. So they had started researching witches at the school, but only found a couple of colored books on the matter, mostly useless. All but one, telling the story of a nanny called Mary Poppins... some western thing.

But everything checked for the most part. The hat was there, every day a different one, but ultimately never leaving XuanYu’s head. The umbrella was not, but both him and A-Yuan had seen their gege with a parasol once and that was enough. His satchel contained infinite amount of things, from sweets to possessed stuffed animals, like a qiankun bag from the legends! He talked with things as if he could control them.

Well, even the teacher sometimes tried to convince the printer to work with sweet words, gently coaxing it back to life... maybe that was just how adults functioned. Even his dad would ask the fridge where his favorite cake had disappeared sometimes. Adults were weird.

*

Fuck Lanling. Rain day and night, autumn planning everyone’s demise by flooding every bloody year. Xue Yang was over it.

He took a random umbrella from the rack by the door of the convenience store and left without a second thought, already wondering what he could say to convince XingChen to offer him dinner somewhere new. The man wasn’t married anymore after all, so Xue Yang could technically have his way with him now, right?

“Excuse me!”

Xue Yang was not in the mood for people calling him out on his bullshit that night, but he turned anyway and saw the weirdest thing. A young man roughly his age, maybe a year or so younger, drenched from head to toe after rushing to him. He was panting, clutching a plastic bag full of cleaning supplies from the convenience store Xue Yang had just left.

“I believe you mistakenly took my umbrella,” the other said, pretty face framed by wet hair sticking to his forehead and cheeks.

Amused, Xue Yang shut the clear plastic umbrella he had “mistakenly taken” and held it at arm’s length by the handle, directing the pointy edge to the other like a sword. Hell if he was going to get wet himself, he needed to prove something to the idiot. He could handle a bit of rain for the sake of being dramatic.

“You want it back?” Xue Yang asked, rising his chin and arching an eyebrow at the other. The man nodded, holding his now wet beret in place on top of his head as if he was more worried about it falling on the ground than keeping his crown dry.

“I knew it was someone else’s when I took it.”

“But...?”

“And what’ll you give me back for it? What are you gonna do about it?”

This should have taught him not to mess with him: he didn’t even have to use his business tone to make the other take a step back. Meng Yao, the bastard, had taught him smiles went a long way in dealing with stupid people after all.

“Right, if I take it from you... you won’t have one to go back home with.”

Uh?

“Wait here. I’ll go buy you one at the convenience store. I’ll be back.”

Uh??

The idiot actually run back to the store and purchased him a fucking umbrella. And Xue Yang was twice as stupid because he waited for him to come back, startled as he was. The idiot was smiling megawatt bright when he came back as well, what the fuck?

The sick bastard extended the clear plastic umbrella to him like Xue Yang had done earlier, but he held it by the middle, as if surrendering his weapon. It was fairly similar to the one Xue Yang had stolen anyway, why bother asking for his umbrella back?

“Did your dead mother give this particular one to you or something?”

The bite in his words only mildly deterred the other man, who pressed his lips together before forcing an even bigger smile on his face.

“No. It’s pretty cheap. But it’s mine. It’s the first thing I bought with my money.”

Xue Yang left after that. With the stolen umbrella. Because he was still a scumbag and not a sentimental asshole. But he was very quiet that evening when XingChen treated him to some fancy takeout on his couch while lovingly drying Xue Yang’s hair with a towel.

Nothing made sense anymore.

*

Qin Su worried over Jiang Cheng. He was her best worker, but she knew for a fact that he had a million part-time jobs in town and she didn’t want to overwork him. She also knew he would give all of his hard-earned money to XiChen anyway. All to pay a stupid debt. The huge lovesick idiot.

Was he the fastest delivery driver? Yes. Was he the most well behaved of his staff? Not even close. But he was respectful enough to work over his issues and she trusted him with doing his job at the end of the day.

So when she found a young man in a frilly outfit waiting for her on the lobby of her shop asking for Jiang Cheng... well, she was pleasantly surprised.

He introduced himself as XuanYu and held a lunch box in his hands, saying Jiang Cheng had forgotten it at home. Which left A-Su properly impressed. How could a man as angry as Jiang Cheng secure himself such a lovely person was beyond her comprehension, honestly.

He was adorable and she wanted to be his sister like, yesterday.

But when Jiang Cheng came back from a delivery, entering the dumpling shop with his helmet still on, he stared XuanYu down and told him off right off the bat.

“Not you again,” he said, to A-Su’s utter confusion, “Can’t you take a fucking hint? I’m already avoiding you at work. I don’t want to be your friend.”

Something akin to hurt painted XuanYu’s feature for a fraction of a second before he could retrieve his smile and point at the lunch box.

“Your sister asked me to give this to you on my way out. A-Ling helped making rice cakes this time and wanted to hear from you if you liked them or not.”

Qin Su could have easily missed the change in XuanYu’s voice at that, that’s how much of a good actor he was. But Jiang Cheng had no face even to feel ashamed for lashing out at the kid like that. How much older could he be from XuanYu, three years? Two? Had nobody taught him some respect?

“XuanYu, if he bullies you again you come here. Am I understood?”

Like hell she was gonna let this gem of a child slip away from Jiang Cheng’s hands.

Not in a million years.

*

Song Lan breathed in and out. In and out. The clear morning air surrounded him like an old friend, hugging him closely as he clutched the papers for his divorce.

XingChen had signed them in the end. Five years together were now in the past for him.

Maybe they had been too young back then, when they had taken the chance to get married the moment the government announced the change in the law for people like them. How old have they been, twenty-three? Twenty-four? Another lifetime. An existence away.

He wished he could cry. It would have been easier.

But, as he turned a corner, someone stumbled into him and sent the papers scattering on the sidewalk. Song Lan tried to save them from being dirtied on a puddle but was unsuccessful. He didn’t know why he bothered anymore. It felt like the last piece of his lover had left and Song Lan couldn’t even prevent something as simple as that. XingChen’s signature dirtied in a pool, but not enough to be washed away. What a joke.

The young man in front him bowed down, apologizing profusely, trying to save the documents at the best of his abilities. He even suggested finding a public toilet to dry the sheets under the hot air blowing machine, the silly man.

Song Lan smiled instead, reassuring him it was fine.

He was fine.

But the kid accidentally read the first few lines of the agreement before looking up at Song Lan. And where he would have expected pity, Song Lan only saw consternation instead on his pale face. It was so startling to see it, that he had to crouch back down on the ground next to the kid and reassure him everything was fine. It was just paper, it wasn’t important, he didn’t have to feel so guilty about...

“It is important. Your life is important.”

Such a dramatic sentence, uttered so vehemently, should have sounded weird to Song Lan. Especially because he disapproved of such antics in the first place. But it sounded so sincere, so earnest that he felt touched for a moment.

So he helped the kid up on his feet and asked him to walk a bit with him, to keep him company. Reserved as he was, he would have never thought possible opening up to a stranger the way he did that day. But there was something calming about the kid, almost as if he had been put on earth to soothe other people’s existence.

So he told him how his husband had fallen in love with someone else, someone much younger than them. How this had strained their marriage even if Song Lan had known all along his husband had the ability to fall in love with more than one person at a time. But Song Lan was monogamous and would have never justified forcing his lover to suppress his feelings just to please him. So it had been Song Lan himself to call it quits and wish him all the luck in the world.

The kid had started crying at some point, without Song Lan even noticing at first.

“Why are you crying? Please no, I didn’t wan to upset you.”

“So much love. In different ways but... it’s too much. There’s so much of it, of course I’m crying for you and your loved one.”

Song Lan was many things. Too stern, too rigid, too peculiar about who could touch him or not, too cold in expressing his emotions. But he felt warm then, in front of a kid crying for him in the middle of the street, one day of late autumn.

“Thank you.”

***

XuanYu let it slip once with Mrs. Jin how little he remembered of his past. 

It wasn’t a lie, he really didn’t remember what it had been of him before he had met her, asking for a room. But the kind woman just assumed he was talking about his past or youth, so he didn’t correct her on the matter.

Knowing the truth would have scared her, after all.

But he still let himself trust her that day as they sat in front of a pot of tea and he pretended to drink and eat the pastries on the low table. He didn’t need to eat or drink. He wasn’t even sure he had a digestive system.

“I only remember... a song.”

“A song?”

“Yes. Someone singing every night before falling asleep. I don’t think it was meant for me to hear... but my body remembers the shivers. The feeling of being loved.”

“The body remembers the weirdest things, XuanYu. You should trust it more.”

He smiled at that, wriggling his hands on the handkerchief where he had hidden the pastries from sight.

“I’m pretty sure that song wasn’t for me. My body was merely there to listen.”

YanLi looked uncomfortable at that, something scary painting her features.

“Maybe I was eavesdropping,” he reassured her with a self-deprecating joke, not sure if that would have made her feel more at ease or not, “Maybe I was listening in, hoping such lovely words could be directed at me for once.”

Mrs. Jin sipped her tea for a long while afterwards, before finding the resolution to look up and stare him down with a serious expression.

“Unrequited feelings hurt, don’t they?”

XuanYu didn’t know what she meant by that, but he nodded anyway.

He heard something rustling in his bag and hid the sweets inside of it the moment YanLi turned to clear the table. If A-Ling heard someone munching their protests away from inside of the bag, he didn’t snitch on XuanYu and retrieved playing with Fairy on the carpeted floor next to him instead.

*

Lan Zhan was disappointed in him, XuanYu knew that much. They were admiring the sunset from the small balcony in their room, folding laundry.

XuanYu always wondered why Lan Zhan assumed the form of a black stuffed rabbit, of all things, but he didn’t want to pry. He didn’t even know his real name. The other had told him he used to be a human in his past life and that he hadn’t technically reincarnated in this lifetime. That his current form was just a mean to a goal, that he could use it to guide XuanYu and help him better that way without expending much spiritual energy.

He told him someone dear to him taught him how to manipulate paper-man talismans in his previous life. How similar the process had been to move around in a stuffed animal’s body. How convenient.

XuanYu believed he secretly loved it, even if Lan Zhan would have never said as much. He already talked very little to begin with.

“You told her you don’t remember your past.”

“That I did.”

“Don’t do it again”

XuanYu folded the last towel on his lap and then let Lan Zhan take a nap on it. He felt silly having to take showers and pretend to be a normal human being. He hated inconveniencing the Jins with him, accepting their bedding and paid kitchen appliances and so on. But if he wanted to accomplish his mission he had to make an effort to look normal... instead of spirited away from another world or maybe simply another era.

“I won’t do it again, don’t worry Lan Zhan.”

*

Lan Zhan was disappointed, but he was also patient to a fault.

Sure, it would have been much appreciated if Mo XuanYu didn’t lose him around every other day. This time the younger man had forgotten to pick him up from the floor where he had been reading stories to the children at the kindergarten.

But Lan Zhan was also a stuffed animal now, so it wasn’t like he could move around and risk being seeing by normal humans. His body was a vessel and any damage would have had repercussions on his soul as well. 

What to do.

He tried not to panic when he felt someone picking him up from the floor after an hour or so. He silently prayed for them not to be A-Qing: even in this life she was too smart for her own good and he couldn’t risk being found out so soon. Mo XuanYu wasn’t even halfway to complete his mission and Lan Zhan couldn’t...

“I’m sure A-Yu is looking for you, little guy. What are doing all the way back here?”

It was always difficult to hear his older brother’s voice in this life. To see his face, to notice how sad he was even in this new reincarnation of his.

Lan Zhan didn’t move a single muscle as XiChen dusted him off and put him in his apron front pocket as he looked for “A-Yu”.

In order to give a second chance to Mo XuanYu, Lan Zhan had sacrificed any possibility to ever reincarnate until his mission was accomplished. So XiChen didn’t have a younger brother in this lifetime and he would have not had one for a while. Lan Zhan missed him, but they had to wait for a bit more.

They still had three months to fill the bottle the King of Hell had entrusted Mo XuanYu with. Then he would have entered the list for reincarnation once more and everything will have been fine in the end.

Lan Zhan owed the kid his life, so he trusted him.

No matter what.

*

XuanYu remembered the boy who had stolen his umbrella. He remembered him well enough to recognize him when he found him crawling on the floor, a stab wound in his belly, one winter night.

Panicked, he asked Lan Zhan what they could do as he instinctively pressed the wound with his bare hands. Lan Zhan didn’t dare move not to attract attention on himself. The other man snarled out at XuanYu, asking him why did he even bother, seemingly recognizing him.

“I took your fucking umbrella. Hate me and leave me alone.”

“Ridiculous.”

Lan Zhan would have been proud of him for that remark, but XuanYu was too scared to think about it. He didn’t have a phone and he didn’t even know the number for emergencies. He wasn’t even qualified to be a teacher. How had he survived until then. He was useless and stupid and...

“What the fuck?” Jiang Cheng’s voice came in a whisper behind him.

What a sorry view the older man had to take in that night: a pool of blood staining otherwise clean clothes, a moaning boy on the ground in restless pain, a crying mess of a sad excuse of a human pressing on a throbbing wound next to him.

Jiang Cheng muttered something about the boy being one of Meng Yao’s men, that they should leave him there to die for all he cared.

The man under XuanYu barked back, telling him he had tried to “convince the idiot of the same”. But XuanYu was horrified by what he had just heard.

“People die for nothing. People die for fucking nothing. You don’t leave someone behind just because you fucking hate them.”

XuanYu has never cursed in this brief, borrowed life of his. Maybe spending so much time with Jiang Cheng had rubbed some of his habits off on him in the end.

Startled, Jiang Cheng seemed to agree with him because he fished out his phone and called an ambulance right away.

The stabbed man laughed at that.

*

Lan Zhan was clutched in XuanYu’s hands as they waited in the corridor of a badly lit hospital. The kid was crying, hard. He must have remembered how his family in Mo Manor had mistreated him in the past, how easily his own relatives had starved him off just out of spite. How already impossibly emaciated he had been when he had sacrificed his body for Wei Ying, to bring him back in a weakened vessel just to seek revenge. Just to let his hatred run free.

Such cruelty had earned him nothing but distrust from the hell judges, who sentenced him to never be reincarnated again. Only when Lan Zhan had ascended to heaven -many centuries after reaching immortality- he had been able to make them relent.

If Mo XuanYu could prove to be a good human being during a trial time of one year on planet earth, filling a vial with good actions in the form of golden gems, then they would have considered Lan Zhan’s proposal. Mo XuanYu would have atoned his sin and be granted a new life, a clean record, and a second chance at happiness.

Seeing someone almost die in front of him must have awaken something ugly in him. His stained hands, the iron stench in the air. All that blood... like the last thing he had most probably seen in his previous life before his body sacrifice. A scarlet array under his feet, another soul replacing his in his own body.

Lan Zhan let himself be held tightly in Mo XuanYu’s hands that night at the hospital.

And hugged back without anyone else noticing.

*

Xiao XingChen. That was the name of the man showing up at the kindergarten one week later. XuanYu had never seen him before, but the man hugged him in front of the kids, alerting both XiChen and Jiang Cheng.

“Thank you,” the tall man said in between tears, holding him tight.

“I don’t understand. I...”

“You saved A-Yang. Thank you.”

XuanYu pressed his lips together tightly at that, so overwhelmed he didn’t know what to say. His fingertips hurting with sometimes akin to electricity the more he let himself be held so fiercely by the other man.

He started crying in earnest only after the man had left, surrounded by the children who worried and fussed over him. He fell asleep with them during nap time and when he woke up he found Jiang Cheng placing a quilt over him.

Caught red handed, the older man feigned disinterest in the beginning... but then he sat down next to him. Just like he had done in the hospital one week ago.

“Did you see someone die before?” Jiang Cheng asked then, awkwardly scratching the back of his head, “You had such a strong... reaction to my words. It was insensitive of me. I apologize for angering you. I’ll better myself.”

XuanYu didn’t answer at that. 

Jiang Cheng would have never understood what it meant to sacrifice yourself to hatred and revenge. How much it had scarred him to be brought back to life, but only as a worn out set of robes on top of someone else’s soul. How distant he had felt when the Yiling Patriarch had inhabited his body and had let himself be touched by someone else.

Jiang Cheng would have never understood what it meant to be touched in the flesh but be utterly unreachable as a soul. Or how much it hurt to become an empty body filled by someone foreign and new. Someone who could wear his skin better than him.

Jiang Cheng would have never understood. And thank all the gods for that.

So XuanYu... Mo XuanYu kept quiet and smiled instead.

*

Lan Zhan didn’t trust Jiang Cheng. He hadn’t in the past and he wasn’t gonna start now. Wei Ying would have been so disappointed in him for thinking badly of his baby brother, but there was little Lan Zhan could do about that.

Wei Ying wasn’t there to judge him for it.

Mo XuanYu would wake up every morning and wash himself, get dressed and tidy up the room before leaving. He would fix his appearance in a mirror Young Lady Jiang had gifted him in autumn, making sure his hat was still in place.

“What would happen if I were to...?”

“You must keep your hat on... even when you sleep. You know this much.”

“I wear a headband to bed.”

“And what of it?”

“It’s... silly.”

“Nobody can see you in your sleep. Why the sudden worry?”

Mo XuanYu said nothing in response to that, but Lan Zhan knew. The kid had never worried too much about his appearance aside from looking proper and well dressed. He had never fussed over his features, but recently he had taken the habit to walk dangerously close to makeup stores and check various displays at the convenience store close by. Lan Zhan knew Mo XuanYu had remembered his past... how he had quickly realized he was already an adult. With needs and desires.

But now a brand new reincarnation of Jiang WanYin would wait for him every morning to walk to work together. Now Jiang Cheng acted pleasantly enough to be considered kind and doting to someone starved of affection like Mo XuanYu had always been. Which wasn’t planned, it had never been.

Lan Zhan didn’t like where this was going.

He didn’t like it at all.

*

Nie HuaiSang came to bring a cake for XuanYu one day or so before the end of the year, snow sticking to his hair and flushed cheeks.

“I don’t know when your birthday is... so I’m pretty sure I’m late to the game. But I wanted to thank you for helping me and MianMian that one time. So I made a cake for you. I hope you like strawberries.”

Mo XuanYu had no idea if he liked them or not. He couldn’t even eat.

He started crying in the middle of his room, where HuaiSang had placed the boxed cake on top of his low table.

Panicked, HuaiSang jumped up and out of the room to alert Jiang Cheng next door. But upon seeing the other man’s worried expression XuanYu cried even harder.

“What did you do to him, you bastard?”

“I’m not the one who used to prank people all the time. Grow up!”

“You clearly did something horrible to him for...”

“A-Cheng we’re not twelve anymore. Who do you take me for?”

XuanYu took his chance to stuff his face with cake, gulping it down bit by bit even if he knew he didn’t have the necessary organs to process it without vomiting it all out in an hour or so. He had tried many times to hold food down to no avail. His body rejecting it as if it was poisonous and dangerous.

He had tried so many times... to practice. To be able to appreciate YanLi’s generous cooking, to help A-Ling and the children at school prep their lunches and maybe... maybe to eat with Jiang Cheng every now and then.

Nie HuaiSang hugged him and patted his head, confused but too scared to ask for an explanation. Mo XuanYu smiled at him and lied, saying his cake was the best he had ever eaten. It wasn’t the best. It was simply the first.

He had no way to compare it with anything else, really.

*

Wen Ning had heard about his “stomachache” from XiChen, who had known all about it from YanLi and Jiang Cheng. So it shouldn’t have been a surprise for XuanYu when he saw the older boy in front of his apartment complex the last day of the year.

But it was a surprise.

“Can we talk for a bit?” Wen Ning asked, holding his umbrella up for XuanYu to walk beside him, protecting him from the icy snow.

They walked to the nearest park, sitting under the gazebo to watch the snow falling down. Their heavy coats keeping them warm, despite the cold.

They used to take long walks back from the kindergarten with A-Yuan after school, since the Wens lived close to XuanYu. Before Jiang Cheng came back anyway.

Wen Ning looked uncomfortable, fidgeting with his fingers as he tried to find the right words. He surprised XuanYu by telling him how, in the past, he had suffered from an eating disorder and had been hospitalized for a while in his teens. How worried his sister and their grandma had been for him, how much they helped him in his recovery. How alone he had felt for years still, no matter how loved he was.

“A-Yuan told me he never saw you eat. So I was wondering if you needed help.”

It wasn’t the case, but XuanYu knew he meant well. Telling him everything was fine would have only worried him more, so he tried to explain an half-truth that could satisfy him. Saying it was difficult for him to process food, that in the past he had suffered from malnutrition and now he had digestive issues.

He was talking about his past life, but he figured that could work as well.

When they parted ways in front of the apartment complex, Wen Ning asked to hold XuanYu’s hands for a bit. He cradled them carefully, as if they were precious. His slender fingers cupping XuanYu’s smaller palms almost reverently.

“I know you don’t feel the same about me. But I’ll ask you to look after yourself anyway. Not out of obligation for me... but out of respect for yourself, if nothing else.”

The moment Wen Ning let go of his hands, Jiang Cheng stepped out of the front door of the building and saw them.

He said nothing and walked away after stepping out of the gate.

*

Lan Zhan would have very much liked to flip a finger at Jiang WanYin’s forehead. Hard. Wei Ying would have done the same, he was sure.

Wei Ying would have also smacked some sense in his baby brother, forcing him to face his feelings and take responsibility for what he was doing to poor Mo XuanYu.

Who was currently waiting for the other man’s return like a dog by his room balcony, surveying the front courtyard like a bird of prey from above.

Lan Zhan tried to coax the kid inside, reminding him snow was still falling down and that his beanie was slipping away. He tried to be gentle about it, knowing how much XuanYu had grown resentful of the hats he had to constantly wear.

But the younger man simply shrugged, saying he wanted to wait for another five minutes. Just one more. Just to make sure.

Jiang Cheng didn’t come back that night.

And Mo XuanYu cried in his sleep clutching the half-empty vial to his chest.

Lan Zhan spent the night watching over him, singing to him the song he had written for Wei Ying. He snuggled close to XuanYu and made sure his wide headband was covering the crown of his head, before pressing himself to the other’s forehead.

He never stopped singing.

Wishing he could take all the pain away.

*

YanLi, A-Yuan and even ZiXuan knocked on his door to greet him into the new year, despite how XuanYu should have been the one to pay his respects to his landlords.

But they asked him to visit the funeral home with them instead, to say their thanks to YanLi’s parents with offers and flowers.

He dressed in his best clothes, having never been in what seemed to be a modern version of the ancestral halls of his childhood in a past life. The establishment was fairly sterile, with shelves filled with plaques and pictures instead of wooden inscriptions on an altar. The lot of them bowed and said their thanks, chatting with the late Jiangs almost as if they had never left. YanLi apologized to her mother for Jiang Cheng’s absence that year like any other year, while ZiXuan told his father-in-law how they would have visited the Jin ancestors during Chūnjié to make it fair.

XuanYu looked at them and barely kept himself from crying.

On their way back, YanLi explained her parents had died when she was still twelve and Jiang Cheng was merely six. How they had lived in the orphanage run by XiChen’s mother and made friends with the boy, who was YanLi’s classmate. How the siblings stayed there until YanLi came of age and got custody of her baby brother. ZiXuan’s family of lawyers had helped her pro bono and that was how she had met the man and fallen in love with him. Even if it had taken a while for ZiXuan to notice her at first, preoccupied with university and law school as he had been at the time. But the Jins helped her with the inheritance left by the late Madame Yu: the apartment complex where they currently lived.

Watching them explaining their past in such detail moved XuanYu deeply. Feeling as if they wanted to make him part of their family by filling in the gaps for him.

That was still his older brother after all and those were still his sister-in-law and his beloved nephew and he... he loved them. He had missed them so, so much.

And he was about to leave them again soon.

*

Wen Qing finally showed herself up one day at the park, when Mo XuanYu was taking Fairy out for an evening walk. She approached him by telling the younger man she had assisted in the surgery Xue Yang had undergone some time back.

Lan Zhan (hiding in the kid’s coat pocket) could see how startled the kid was at the mention of the criminal, but he decided to trust this version of Lady Wen as he would have done in the past.

Wei Ying cared deeply for her, after all.

Whatever truths she was about to entrust Mo XuanYu with, Lan Zhan knew the kid could take it.

He hoped as much, at least.

*

Jiang Cheng came back only for Chinese New Year. Saying he had stayed at XiChen’s since the winter break allowed them to take it easy and figure some stuff out for the following school year.

It hurt to know where he had been all along, but XuanYu braved a smile anyway. He knew how much Jiang Cheng cared for the older man, how much he wanted to save the school from the debt collector. How much he didn’t love XuanYu back.

So he let himself cry one last time before waking up one morning and deciding he had had enough.

He talked with Lan Zhan, asking him to tell him all about Wei WuXian and their love. If XuanYu’s sacrifice had allowed them to be happy as they deserved in the end. If Lan Zhan hated him now, for forcing him away from his loved one, who was currently waiting for him to come back to heaven.

Mo XuanYu knew the couple had sacrificed their chance at reincarnation to allow him to seek a second lifetime for himself. He knew Wei Ying watched over them from up above, waiting for Lan Zhan to secure a new life for the kid.

They talked all day and then well into the night.

By dawn Mo XuanYu had decided what to do.

*

XuanYu properly met Meng Yao one day of early spring, when flowers weren’t yet brave enough to poke their way out and greet the sun. The man was dressed in black, his hair cut short, a sigarette between his lips as he waited patiently for the kindergarten to open.

It was XuanYu’s duty to open that morning, so he was the one to greet the man.

Upon hearing his voice, Meng Yao immediately recognized him.

“There you are. I was waiting for you.”

“Me?”

“You’re the kid who answered the phone. And the one who helped my subordinate back in winter, right?”

His dimples were so deep, his face so pleasant.

Mo XuanYu remembered him from another lifetime. He remembered how much he had cared for his older brother Jin GuangYao. How hurt he had felt when the other had lied and accused him of harassment just to get rid of him.

But this was a new life and Meng Yao was just a man.

Who happened to have been married with XiChen for a while before turning to a life filled with crime and gang violence.

Wen Qing had told him Meng Yao had initially tried to live far away from his adoptive father Wen RuoHan. All for the sake of marrying XiChen and keep him safe. But XiChen’s mother still had had a debt to pay for the construction of the orphanage, a price too high for her to pay with her poor health and delicate disposition. A debt that XiChen had inherited from her when she had died.

That was why Meng Yao had left him: to go back to his father and ask him to handle the debt himself, supplicating him to overlook such small issue and let him dry XiChen out of every penny and cent instead.

Wen Qing may have learned this only from the gossiping running in her family, with the Wen Clan being as big as it was, but she was pretty sure of what she had told XuanYu. That Meng Yao had simply faked having fallen out of love with XiChen to protect him from his adoptive father and his cruelty. That XiChen still loved him and was waiting for him to fight alongside him instead.

Mo XuanYu knew all of this.

So now he could act and fulfill his mission.

*

“I want to pay the debt XiChen owes you.”

“You are full of surprises, XuanYu. And how do you plan to do that?”

“I can do many things.”

“You’re very pretty, you can make good money out of it.”

XuanYu considered his words before shaking his head.

“It’s not something I can do.”

“Then what can you do?”

“I’ll solve everything.”

“I’m all ears.”

“But you’ll have to stop making XiChen worry so much.”

“That’s not how business work...”

“Lie to me. Give your word and I’ll... I will solve everything.”

Meng Yao humored him and nodded.

Then and only then, Mo XuanYu took his hat off.

*

Lan Zhan had watched the entire scene unfold before his eyes without intervening, trusting Mo XuanYu with such an important choice. He took in the sight of the beautiful spiritual light shining brightly on top of XuanYu’s head like a crown.

His soul in full display, its energy so raw it had slowed down time all around them.

Lan Zhan turned around and looked at XiChen, who had just turned a corner and had been walking towards XuanYu to greet him good morning. Frozen in time, his older brother’s face still looked peaceful... simply because he had had no time to notice Meng Yao’s presence quite yet.

Lan Zhan turned once more and saw Jiang WanYin making his way in a rush towards them, surely to protect XuanYu from Meng Yao. When did he arrive? His features trapped in a perpetual frown, scared for the one he truly loved in this lifetime.

Then, Lan Zhan looked up at Mo XuanYu and saw him taking the bottle only half filled with gold... which symbolized his goodwill and generous spirit.

“Will this be enough to grant a wish, Lan Zhan?”

When XuanYu said his name like that he sounded so much like his Wei Ying, full of hope and love.

“It depends on the wish, A-Yu.”

“I reckon it’s not enough for a new reincarnation, eh?”

“It’s enough to save a life... but not yours.”

XuanYu looked crestfallen, but he persevered still.

The bottle transformed into a bag filled with money and XuanYu made his way to XiChen and left it at his feet before smiling up at his mentor and employer.

“I cannot rewrite the past, but maybe I can plan a better future for you.”

Still smiling, XuanYu slowly walked over to Jiang Cheng and said his farewells.

Then he crouched down and took Lan Zhan in his hands, kissing him goodbye on the head affectionately.

“Erase me well, Lan Zhan,” he whispered then.

Before disappearing into thin air.

***

Wei Ying had agreed with him, suggesting the idea himself.

In the end the King of Hell had granted Lan Zhan’s request and offered Mo XuanYu a second chance anyway. Since this new self-sacrifice had been fueled by positive emotions instead of anger and despair, the hell judges had considered the atonement fulfilled and put the kid’s name back on the reincarnation list.

Twenty years had past and many things had changed.

For starters, the kid’s last name wasn’t Mo anymore, but Nie. The boy had, in fact, born into Nie MingJue’s family and had lived overseas in Japan for a while before moving back to Lanling when XuanYu turned twenty. Nie HuaiSang had met him many times during summer vacations and other festivities, visiting his brother and his wife every chance he had gotten to dote on his cute nephew XuanYu.

Nie MingJue had done a remarkable job in protecting him from harm. So, by the time their little family had decided to move close to HuaiSang, XuanYu had become a well adjusted adult with a brilliant future ahead of him.

Nobody remembered him.

Or so Lan Zhan had thought.

Apparently, he had forgotten to wipe Jin Ling’s memories thoroughly. So, when The Nie family had come to greet HuaiSang’s friends YanLi and ZiXuan, A-Ling almost had a stroke out of incredulity and happiness for being reunited with his “A-Yu”. Even if Jin Ling was now older than the pretty-gege from his memories. Even if he had spent years trying to figure out why nobody seemed to remember the weird uncle living next door to his Jiujiu years back.

XiChen and Meng Yao had solved their problems and had started running the school together right after Wen RuoHan sudden and mysterious disappearance. The man had many enemies after all. 

A-Yuan had grown up into a fine young man, someone Wei Ying would have certainly been proud of, working with his cousin Wen Ning at the local botanical garden while his friends still studied in university. 

Nie HuaiSang had married Qin Su and opened a restaurant with her. 

MianMian and Wen Qing had decided to live together and adopt a bunch of dogs just because. 

Xiao XingChen and Xue Yang still lived together while Song Lan had found his way back to them after talking it out with the couple. 

A-Qing was probably running some sketchy business in social services to protect kids from horrible families.

Lan Zhan was still, unfortunately, a stuffed rabbit. Following XuanYu in his new life in the most unexpected of ways. In the form of the first present the boy’s uncle had gifted him in childhood. If Wei Ying had pulled a string or two from heaven to make that happen, well, Lan Zhan himself was none the wiser. The only thing he knew was that XuanYu had always taken him with him in all his travels even if he didn’t know he could speak. Lan Zhan had preferred not to reveal his nature and let the kid have a normal childhood. Especially since he had no memories of his past as a tenant in Jiang YanLi’s house. Nor of his life as a cultivator.

Wei Ying had agreed they could wait to be reunited again. The both of them wanting to look over XuanYu for a little longer before getting their own chance at reincarnation. They had all eternity to be together again... they could definitely wait a bit more for the kid.

All was well.

Aside from the other person whose mind Lan Zhan had conveniently forgot to wipe clean of any memory of XuanYu.

In his defense, Lan Zhan had tried to make Jiang Cheng forget. But something about XuanYu must have touched him so deeply... that Lan Zhan had not been able to do much about it. The kid’s smiles and clumsy antics would always linger in the back of the other’s mind no matter how much he tried to ignore them.

Coming back from his job at ZiXuan’s firm, exhausted and vulnerable, Jiang Cheng decided to visit his sister the same day Nie MingJue had brought his family there. So he was particularly weak to the sight of a bright, soft XuanYu when YanLi introduced her younger brother to their guests.

To Lan Zhan’s absolute delight, Jiang Cheng immediately bowed down to a scary looking Nie MingJue and asked his son’s hand in marriage.

Yes, grovel to this precious boy and learn your place.

XuanYu only tilted his head at that weird man bowing to his parents and smiled.

His laughter ringing up to the sky, where Wei Ying was still listening.

From where he would have kept watching.

*

[I worked so hard on this please reblog]

*

[kobato means “little dove” I thought it was cute since XuanYu is a magpie! + I wanted MXY a chance at life and for once this is a reversal-sacrifice from WWX’s part and I think it’s neat.]

[JC would be 43 or so... which yikes. but this is all I could do. I don’t like huge age gaps but at least everyone is a consenting adult, okay?]

[the thing that started this was like “what if LXC was an only child and LWJ did not reincarnate bc he’s still in the afterlife or something? then the entire thing escalated so...yeah.]

now I will cry for ages. I worked so hard on this good god D:

[plan-d-to-i]

I'm always in awe of the level of delusion & commitment to intellectual abstinence that is necessary for someone to think Lan Wangji was "petty" for not vibing w jiang cheng (bc otherwise jiang cheng would have TOTALLY welcomed a relationship/acquaintance w him). jiang cheng the man who ignored clear signs that WWX was not ok when he came back from the Burial Mounds as long as it worked in his favor to use him as a weapon. jiang cheng who then resented WWX for having been so invaluable in the war effort, reestablishing YunmengJiang's power, and attracting new disciples to his Sect. jc who called WWX the enemy of the entire cultivation world. Who was not only responsible for strategizing and leading the siege that killed the love of LWJ's life, but who spent THIRTEEN YEARS hunting down and torturing to death any possible trace of him. Then LWJ finally hears WWX playing their song and jiang cheng whips him and tries to banish him with Zidian- which would have absolutely succeeded were it not for a virtually unheard of curse. Then LWJ witnesses the burns jiang cheng left on WWX with Zidian (after his narrow escape thanks to JL)- when he's barely able to walk and LWJ carries him. He hears first hand the vitriol and galighting jiang cheng's aims at WWX in the ancestral hall blaming WWX for everything under the sun including saving LWJ's life- because jc STILL hates and blames WWX for saving LWJ and hates LWJ for??? living? instead of blaming his mother who flipped her shit when she was told there would be a supervisory office and got their whole sect massacred. Oh yeah and jiang cheng THE RAGING HOMOPHOBE who told them their behavior - a hug and respectfully kneeling and lighting incense- WAS disgusting. All of which almost sends WWX into a qi deviation. like??!! Oh and when jc finds out about WWX's immense sacrifice LWJ gets to see jc twist it and throw that in WWX's face too...

I would applaud LWJ on his self restraint were it not for the fact that I'm pissed af he had enough of it to not part jc's head from the rest of his body. Seriously the people who call LWJ "petty" are the type of 'friends' who are like: sorry X abused u 🥺 but like they never did anything wrong to me so I'm gonna keep being friends w them hope u don't mind 🤪xx

[tfw-no-tennis]

hxh RESUME

back at it again w/the hxh, heres my recap of the last few eps 

ok so i totally forgot to recap that one ep at the end of the hunter exam arc lets see what i remember from like 3 wks ago lollll

i thiiiiink i left off in the middle of ep 21 lol. i really dont remember much tbh so im gonna skim the ep to refresh

exposition time! its so wild that if you lose ur hunter card That It like u cant get another or retake the exam hgabjdfuhasjf Ls 

also the fact that you can sell it is rlly interesting 

leorio & kurapika backing up gon as he confronts illumi again :’) good lil family 

illumi u fool. gon is a shounen protag. he can do anything he sets his mind to

the fact that gon thanks illumi for telling him where killua is....hes literally THAT polite like...what a perfect boy 

hisoka just fuckgin stepping out of the shadows....ok bitch 

the fact that gon fucked up illumis arm that bad with one hand....boi is STRONK 

AUGH AUGH AUGHHHH HISOKA IS SO CREEPY AUGHHH I HATE THIS BIIIITCH 

ok but like is illumi implying that hisoka is a fr p*do bc uhhhhh thats so nasty oh lord. pls stay away from gon, and killua, and like everyone as a matter of fact 

EWWWWWWWWWW I HATE HISOKA HES SO NASTY. PLS STOP MAKING P*RNO FACES IN RELATION TO 12 YR OLD BOYS. 

no but rlly what IS hisoka gonna do now. im assuming he’ll show up p soon (tho probs not in the zoldyc arc like i thought bc its shorter than i thought) 

ok the fact that they have the internet is hilariously wild to me for some reason....it just seems like this would be one of those fantasy shounen worlds with very little tech (a la one piece) but lol nope we can just google shit hvbhjdhjdfks

gon: it was fun when you beat me up for 3 hours and broke my arm! seeya dude!

i love gon he is so chill and doesnt seem to hold grudges except when it really matters (like hisoka and illumi) 

hanzo has.....ninja business cards....thats amazing hvbhsdjkujfnd

dont worry pokkle, leorio was basically carried thru the hunter exam by various people and also won by default. he still deserves his license tho

an exotic game hunter sounds pretty cool! i wonder if we’ll see pokkle again. kinda doubt it? that sounds pretty firmly non-combat based, and therefore probably pretty far from any plot lol

so gons dad is a bigshot huh.....whatever hed be a bigger deal if he didnt abandon his son tbh 

gon swinging his feet on the bench....sooo cute 

so ging could restore a bunch of ruins but he couldnt raise his son...ok

im just gonna be bitter at this guy for abandoning the most perfect boy vhbhjfbsjhdhbfsk sorry dude but being a good hunter doesnt make up for being a shit father 

gon is so precious ;_; 

WHAT WAS SATOTZ GONNA SAY TO GON???

why does it look like theyre googling things on MS paint 

ah yes, padokea, on the continent of Africa But Sideways 

idk if i talked abt it before but the world map is WILD lmao i love how its all the continents/landmasses scrambled around.....im super curious abt that weird island in the top center of the map, thats the only thing that immediately sticks out as not having a real life equivalent 

the music in this show is so charming :’) i love the main theme sm 

gon is sooo precious i literally cant get over it. and his hurry to rescue killua is so sweet....and i love how naturally charming/charismatic gon is....pretty much everyone he meets likes him, especially leorio and kurapika, who basically adopted him after knowing him for like a day, and continue to be completely taken by him

ok wtf is satotz & co talking abt......do they know something abt ging that they arent allowed to tell gon???? shouldnt gon have access to the same info now that hes a hunter? i need ANSWERS

i bet this whole thing abt the hunter exam not rlly being over is a metaphor abt the hunter exam NEVER truly ending bc youre always being tested, or st

ok the ED continues to be So Much like especially the last shot where the 4 main characters look like theyre posing for a JC Penny catalog while the singer goes FULL metal-screamo

ok ruth and i just rewatched the next two eps woohoo

i love that there are tourist busses that take people to the front gates so they can like pose for pics and stuff vhbhjafdsfkj and its like ‘ah yes here are where the local assassins live!’ thats so funny yet it makes so much sense

i love that leorio passed tf out during the bus ride. big big mood 

gon is so cute...hes like ok yes i understand that we’re not supposed to go in but i think they can make an exception for me bc im very polite. 

those 2 dudes r so ugly and so dead god bless

that bigass buster sword....sir please 

ruth and i rlly thot that the old guard guy was gonna turn out to be grandpa zoldyk or st lol

the fact that the dog managed to eat All their flesh but left some clothes....skill 

also the dog is named mike but it sounds like the guy is calling him miku hvbjdfssk

this cant be the first time some morons have been killed here likeeee 

i cant believe nobody has visited the zoldyk estate in 20 years damn they all rlly b havin no friends. depressing 

the whole gates thing is wild. also that part where gon gets the math wrong on the weight.....BIG mood kiddo 

ok the part where gons on the phone w/the butler is soooo good oh man. i love how gon just calmly dials the phone again after hes hung up on the first time and then YELLS....and leorio and kurapikas faces r so good 

also the butler guy unfortunately has a point, it isnt foolproof that gon is here Legit....but he IS let him see his tiny bf :( 

as ruth pointed out, the butler guy is reminiscent of kuro from one piece. same vibes 

maybe if leorio was jacked like he is in the manga/1999 anime he couldve opened the gate that first time around....Ls 

god i love this shows approach to Everything so far,....as ruth put it, half the time its like ‘oh wow they should do [x]/i wish theyd do [x] but ofc they wont cause its a shounen’ but then they DO do [x] and its like damn thats dope 

anyways i love how gon is increasingly approaching situations with his Plucky Shounen Protag Attitude in full swing, and he pretty much gets shot down every time. BUT his general determination to see killua bc killuas his FRIEND and hes gonna RESCUE HIM is still a good and pure motivating force 

like here, when hes climbing over the wall and hes like whatever i dont wanna have to deal w/being tested thats bullshit, i wanna see killua, my intentions are pure, im gonna try my luck with the dog....i was like ok yeah he’ll get over and like tame or defeat the dog and the guard will be suitably impressed bc nobodys ever done That before, and then gon will continue on to get killua 

but NOPE instead the guard calls him down and explains that gon Will Die if he tries that, and then the guard will die too for letting that happen. and gon is like oh shit my actions have consequences for people other than me, wow. 

and THEN the guard takes them in to meet the dog. and hot DAMN that is a scary creature. not even really a dog tbh. they did an excellent job making the dog Legit Scary and not just like, big and flashy looking....those eyes are so soulless, and the proportions are freaky 

and the guard says exactly what i was thinking - that gon would use his Country Boy Woodland Creature Skills to workaround the dog....but then the subversion - this creature is NOTHING like the woodland critters gon is probably used to dealing with. theres no way gon stood a chance here. the guard just saved him from a really unfortunate death 

i love all the Super Heavy Stuff in the servant house that seems so inconvenient vbhjdkfasjfld. also forgot to mention earlier but the guard guy being Absolutely Ripped was wild and kinda funny 

training montage! gon continues to be so cute. and i love so much how leorio and kurapika are like no, you rest, we’ll take care of this. good parents!!!!

and then!!!! they sync up and use the power of gay love to almost open the gate. but then gon uses the power of Improbable Shounen Protag Healing Speed to toss that arm sling off and help out

i feel like leorio was side-eyeing gon like w8 a sec u broke that arm like a few days ago that aint right.....

oh man i almost forgot abt that scene with the zoldyks torturing killua :( :( this poor kid he doesnt deserve that 

also mom zoldyck seems truly awful but i must say her aesthetic does fuck. the victorian-lookin outfit paired with the futuristic cyclops visor thing....excellent. also im betting this face bandages are from killua cutting her face 

this family is so fucked up hvbsjdhjfbakdfn

killua telling his mom that gon is definitely gonna make it there :’) hes got such unshakable faith in his bf thats so good.....

back w/the gang, and immediately they run into more trouble in the form of the young girl butler, whose name i dont know, but i love her....her design is SO good oh man. a non-caricature black person? who also isnt sexualized? in MY anime??????

 i love how gons approach to conflict is currently ‘let more powerful person beat me up for hours straight in hopes that they get tired or something idk bro’ like....i love him lol, is it in an effort to show how determined he is? he doesnt even try to dodge her blows or get around her....id be tryin to hop that fence lol 

oh shit the tiny zoldyk kid from earlier is spying on them....she was w/the mom so im sure thats not good

when he punches the rock part and it breaks....strong boiiii 

oh man that little flashback from when killua first came back and told her that he made a friend ;_; bruh 

i love butler girl :( she wants to let gon but knows it isnt allowed....and as soon as she starts to waver BAM here comes mom zoldyck JFC that was so sudden and jarring....im assuming butler girl isnt dead cause that would be lame and anticlimactic 

also IS THAT NEN??? NEN>>>??? NEN??? HM? NEN????????? 

im so annoying abt nen i need to make one of those ‘is this a pigeon?’ memes w/’is this nen?’ bc thats me anytime anything remotely weird happens lmao

i do think its rlly nen this time tho

anyways shit is wild, cant wait to meet the full zoldyck family 

PREDICTION CORNER: 

as i said above i doubt hisoka will show up now bc this arc is a lot shorter than i anticipated. also im doubting that illumis even gonna show up honestly 

i think we’re gonna have this OP for a while, as the part just at the end shows gon and hisoka fighting in what looks to be an arena, and ik the next arc is the heavens arena arc, which im assuming is the tournament arc....

also i have no idea what that weird building in the OP is but my guess is that its the building w/the heavens arena in it bc its tall and,,,,heaven 

i predict there wont be much fighting in this little arc bc how tf else is it so short. at this point i rlly think gon is just gonna grab killua and go lmao. im super curious abt how thats gonna go down, considering that killua is currently strung up just bc he wont apologize...so i cant imagine his family would just let him leave w/gon. i wonder if killua will fight them, or if gons determination will impress them and then theyll let killua go (doubt it)

thats basically it....we’ll see abt the next few eps holla