#but the Joker needs to fucking GO and I dont think i can keep the boys away from him

[pinkopalina]

as a huge batjokes shipper i want batman and joker to hate each other in the sense they dont really hate each other, they just have really different goals and see their own version of potential in the other and right now hate is the best word for their situationship. they both love the other for what they could be but neither of them wants to be what the other one wants, and that's equally as frustrating as it is necessary for them to keep existing in their current roles. they're deadlocked and that fate surrounding each other is kind of the point -- we both have to be like this, the opposite of what the other wants, for us to keep existing at all, and for giving me that gift i both love and hate you. it's an agreement. i think the hate that's there now is born from an intense underlying love.

i think batman "hates" joker for being so amazing and smart and cunning, for being able to create grand gestures and schemes, to pull people together under his charisma and make them all believe in something, for being as extraordinary as he is but batman hates that he uses it to hurt people. he hates that joker can't channel his energy into doing something good for the world, that he hurts himself and others just because he wants to be batman's greatest enemy. i think batman wants to help joker but also hates him at this point for joker exhausting him, constantly getting hurt both emotionally and physically by him, joker never trying to improve his situation, throwing away other people's lives, showing batman he loves him by lashing out and hurting him. batman hates joker because he loves his rogues, he wants to help them, and he knows they can do better. he wants to live in a gotham that doesn't need batman but he still needs to be needed, because when there's no batman, what is bruce going to be? without joker, he will continue being batman, but it's an empty crusade. some of my favorite interactions between harvey and bruce are the ones where harvey thanks bruce for "always being there for me, never giving up on me, my very best friend." even with someone like harvey, bruce can still hold onto that hope for his rogues, never give up on them, keep going for them, even if it puts them through the cycle one more time.

i think joker hates batman in the most toxic way possible, but it's still love. i just think he's selfish and doesn't want batman to think about anyone else but him, the same way he operates for batman, but if he must think about other people then joker will make it as amazing as possible! i think he hates batman for wasting his time on ordinary people, people who are so boring that batman claims he has to protect and serve and love them but joker thinks it's all surface-level. batman won't kill joker but he'll leave room for people dying in his crusade. it's a choice he allows, and even if joker knows that's a morally fucked up way to put someone in a box, he doesn't care. batman is the type of person to train himself mentally and physically for decades and dress up in a half-silly-half-menacing costume so that everyone can have an idea about him. batman himself is not normal, and joker knows that and loves that! why is he wasting his time trying to save people that use him, abuse him, don't want him to be the best he can be? i think joker's motivations for loving batman and lashing out as if he hates him lie somewhere in between extreme admiration -- like i truly believe in your cause and that you're the right person to do it, but i'm so angry at you for wasting your time on other people and i'm so hurt and jealous that you choose them over me, just so you can be a hypocrite and let them die if i want them to anyways -- and anger at his hypocrisy -- like it's easy for joker to dedicate himself to chaos and just being in batman's life by putting batman in situations that force him to be a better and better hero, but how can batman sit there and choose and pick what morals he'll uphold and who gets to live and who gets to die?

i want to be your greatest enemy because you are the greatest hero ever, and the only way you and i can keep being the best at what we do is if we do it together, because of what we both believe in.

[confused-wanderer]

How would Jason react, or even know about Bruce nearly killing the joker?

He doesn’t hear it from Damian, Dick nor Barbara. It’s only when a few years have passed and relations between Bruce and him slowly start cooling that he starts being able to return to the Manor more often without feeling pangs of guilt, longing, nostalgia and overall the Lazarus Pit screaming to be let out.

However, he isn’t dumb. Whenever he complains to Tim about how Tim’s been treated better and loved more than he was, he’s quick to notice how Tim’s jaw tenses, with fingers spastic as if they wanted to curl into fists. Nor does he miss what Tim whispers under his breath twenty minutes later.

If only you knew..

Bruce keeps trying to make amends, tries engaging with him face to face before a few bullets got the message across and he retreated. But Jason could still feel him waiting, hovering, for the signal to light up and let him know he was needed.

He could go to hell though.. Every single time he looked at Bruce he felt safe, followed by fierce anger burning through his veins. He hated that he felt at ease when Bruce entered. Hated that he almost fell back into their old banter. Hated that he missed him. Hated that he still trusted him.

Hated that he still loved him.

One night, after giving Bruce the cold shoulder the entire time and watching in satisfaction as Bruce’s shoulder slumped in defeat, he felt the sudden need to comfort him. He’s the batman, he chided himself. If he could get over your death, he can get over this.

Standing out on the balcony, he never spoke to the presence already there.

“Master Jason..”

“Hey Alfred, it’s pretty cold out you sure you’d be fine?”

“I’ve faced worse winters.”

Jason sighed. That old man always had an air of expectancy around him, just like when he was robin, like a mother waiting for their child to tell them what they did wrong.

“What do you want?”

“I want to know what the bloody hell you think you’re doing?”

That caught Jason’s attention. Hatred and stoic ness quickly melted and all he could do was stare at him in shock.

“Why are you tormenting him?”

“Are you fucking kidding me??-“ “Language master Jason.”

“Alfred. You were there.”

“There was nothing master Bruce could do to save you-”

“I DONT CARE ABOUT THAT ALFRED! He-“

Shoulders slumped, he looked down.

“He replaced me.” Jason whispered. “He didn’t even wait till my body was cold he just fucking went ahead and replaced me. Even after knowing I died, he still put another child in that suit, MY suit! And then, HE DIDNT EVEN AVENGE ME!! He just took Joker back to Arkham, which is basically just like a vacation for him, and LEFT. After all these-”

A shivering cold current of electricity ran through his body and he could feel the Lazarus Pit rising, making his body grow colder by the second.

“After all this time.. he never did anything.” Jason muttered. “So yeah, not only was knowing I was dead for four years a slap to the face.. but to come back home to find another kid in my room and business as usual? As if I never existed? That just made me realise I didn’t matter.”

CLINK

The tea cup in Alfred’s hands was shaking, and a wave of concern overtook Jason. He was about to reach a hand out to steady it when Alfred put the cup down, sighed and looked at the moon.

“Master Bruce never gave Robin to Tim. I did.”

“.. Come again?”

“I gave it to him myself. After you died.. he was a shell of himself. He started pushing himself more, brutalising criminals to the point of hospitalisation. After you died.. a big part of him did too. He refused to be around people, friends, to be happy, to eat. He was punishing himself for your death by refusing to live. And I never forgot you either my boy.. Every night for months I stood by the windows, staying awake and looking outside..hoping to catch a glimpse of you. For the first time in my life I prayed for you to be beaten and bruised, but alive. Locked myself in your room, in your memories, as if standing over your bed was guarding you even in death..Master Bruce missed you so much he played tapes of your missions, just to hear your laugh.”

The older man shook his head and refused to look at him.

“He rejected Tim, but I couldn’t watch him destroy himself. I’d already lost one son..” Alfred paused, looking at Jason with such fondness and pain. “ I wasn’t going to lose another.”

A long pause lingered in the air, and Jason could hear his heart racing as it processed what he’d heard.

“As for Joker,” Jason looked up, and saw the most terrifying scowl he’d ever seen before, with eyes filled with hatred and a craving for retribution.

“Jason Bruce almost killed him too. Like you said, I was there. I was always there. He had chas- hunted Joker down, torturing him slowly and violently until the air was thick with his screams. How every bone was shattered, with so much blood you couldn’t even tell the tiles underneath were white.”

Alfred closed his eyes, and Jason couldn’t help feel that though he was remembering the scene, he was also reveling in it. “His body shattered, smile gone replaced with pain and the howls of misery that he emitted that night.. alas-”

“He didn’t kill him.”

Alfred’s eyes bore into his, and reflected the darkness of the shimmering sky.

“You’re not hearing me. He damn well nearly did. There are things worse than death in this world and Bruce made sure to make Joker feel every single.one. But Superman.. heard him. He heard the roars of fury and grief, and stopped him. All while Bruce stood over the broken body of what once was human. All while muttering your name over and over again, like it was a prayer that kept him grounded. With every hit he took, with every ounce of pain he delivered, he did it with your name on his lips.”

They both just stood there.. shadows in fading moonlight as the noises of life started waking the world with their song.

“Unfortunately, his voice was recorded on one of those surveillance cameras. Tim wiped it, but we kept one copy.. and though the footage is corrupted, the sound is crystal clear.”

Alfred hesitated, before gently cupping Jason’s hands and placing a cold weight on them.

“I hope you never hear it..my boy. I’d rather you burnt it. But if you want to hear the raw truth.. I wanted you to have proof.”

Sunlight burst through the horizon, and with it came the dawn of a new time.

Jason heard the tape as soon as he left.

And burnt it right after.

Alfred was right.

All he had heard were the guttural cries of a broken man..

A father, grieving for his son.

Jason finding out Dick killed joker post:

[romana-after-dark]

Keep Cry'n

Joel Miller x reader

Join dark!Romana's tag list Dark!Romana's Masterlist

Shout out to the girlies in the Whorefully yours discord for encouraging my dark side lol

Summary: Joel kidnapps you, but can't even wait long eough to put his dick inside you to cum. (Reader is rather Little One coded but this is a completetly separate fic from The Wrong Way)

Warnings and Content: NON CON, DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT !!!!!! Hair pulling, kidnapping, masturbation, cumming on face, dirty and degrading talk, crying, dacryphilia, Joel is really psycho in this, maybe a lil off his rocker. Implied future abuse. Literally like so much crying.

DONT LIKE IT, DONT READ! If you do not wish to see rape on your feeds at all, i suggest blocking the tags such as non con, dddne, dead dove do not eat, and depending on preferences maybe dub con, yandere, or dark fics. No judgement if its not your thing!

*****************

Your head hurts. So bad. That was all you could think about as Joel dragged you off his house and up the porch by your hair with no regard for how you were supposed to keep up with his long stride. Scalp on fire, you scramble to stand but it seemed he would purposefully yank at you just to make you stumble. 

You can hear him smiling as he speaks, the outline of his cheeks giving away the wide grin if you can look up long enough to catch a glimpse. “Pretty fucking girl. Gonna make such a nice little toy.” 

He doesn’t care that you're crying. He doesn’t care that he took you away from everything you know. He doesn’t care that you are scared. He wants to use you.

Your hands are tied behind your back so you fall on your face when he trusts you onto the shitty mattress, dirt being inhaled into your lungs.

“Just gotta be good for a few days, pretty baby, ‘till I get tired of you and move onto the next shiny thing. Think you can manage that?”

Sobbing, you nod. You can do this. You can…

Your confidence wavers as he stands above you, palming himself and moaning. “Oooohhh fuck, such a pretty little baby, uuuuuuuuhhhhhhhuhuhuuuh” Joel sucks his breath in through his teeth, then shutters it out. “Get the fuck over here.” Joel reaches over and yanks on your hair again, pressing your face up against his jeans-clothes crotch. His musk was strong, the smell of his dick was sweaty and masculine and you could not help but feel just a little turned on. You couldn’t help it; it was biological, primal, evolutionary. 

With your hands still tied behind your back, you were helpless to the way Joel ground your face up against himself, his hard cock prominent despite the stiff material. Fingers entangled in your hair, Joel trust his hips up in your face as you sob, “Fuck baby, keep cry’n, I can feel your tears on my dick.” Joel pressed you tightly up against his crotch, your mouth pressed over the outline of his member and muffled your cries as they turned into attempts to scream. You wanted to bite but you knew better.

When he finally let go, allowing you to sit back on your haunches and breath, Joel unzipped his pants and thrust them and his tighty whitey’s down in one go, his massive cock hanging heavy between his legs. A sick man, Joel gripped your face in his large, rough hands to gather up the wetness before he fucked his fist. 

“God, I need to cum right fuck’n now” He grumbled to himself as he furiously pumped the extensive length. “Ain’t got time to- oh fu-u-u-ck, ain’t got time to fight your pants off.” Joel lets out a loud groan, bucking his hips as his breath shutters before looking down at your crying and shaking figure. “Oh fuck, you look so scared!” He has the audacity to chuckle, smiling at you as he gently nudges you with his boot just to see you cry more. He jerked harder and harder, his cock red and throbbing inches from your face. “There we go, fuuuuuck! Uh, uh, uuuhhhggg” Ropes of white began to spurt out of him, Joel grunting aggressively mixed with huffed out chuckles, a wide, joker-like grin on his face as his eyes sparkled with mischievous possibilities for the future.

Joel took his softening dick and wiped your tears and his cum with it. “Pretty little thing… goddamn… make’n me cum without even touching me, fucking fantastic.” 

You feel the wetness on your face, a mixture of fluids painting you up like a picture. 

Joel pushed you down onto the bed, not even bothering to pull up his pants as he pulled you on his naked body, sighing. He takes a knife out of his pocket, however, and cuts off your ties. Instinctively, you wrap your arms around him as you cry. You just wanted to be held, to feel touch and comfort and you didn’t care who it came from. “Oh god, princess…” He’s panting still, a crazy grin plastered upon his face as he stared up at the ceiling, laughing to himself. “Such pretty skin, such a pretty face…” Joel chuckled, long fingers massaging down your still-clothed body. 

“Gonna be a lot of fun playing with it.”

*******************

First dark! joel one shot ina while, woozers.

Love me my crazy man.

Got a cool ask today for a dark triple frontier Will Miller that I loooooove that I will be working on after a few other WIPS.

Also got an idea for a dark!joel sugar daddy yandere vibes fic, a dark!William Tell, and a dark!Nathan Bateman. I also plan to work on a short series (3 parts maybe?) of a darker ending to tww where Joel wins.

If you like this, click the link at the top to be added to my ongoing tag list!

@fandxmslxt69 @moriartyyouwhore @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction

@hereforthepedrofanfic @ramblers-lets-get-ramblin and maybe @toxicanonymity might enjoy.....

[niphredil-14]

Hello Renza! I hope you are doing well. I was wondering if you could write something fluffy and cute about doing the batboy’s makeup. Just asking randomly but sweetly if you can do their makeup and having them lay down and relax while you do. Or maybe some joking around. Just happy vibes. No pressure! Thanks! ♥️♥️

~🫀🥼🎲📚

hope you dont mind hc format, but im tired and just wanted to get my thoughts out since this is a cute simple idea c:

Dick Grayson: - babes be serious - you're doing each other's make up - and unless you're some sort of makeup guru, he's probably better than you - i see him mostly doing show makeup since that's the kind he would have been exposed to first, and also it just matches his vibrant and over the top energy. - if it is you doing his makeup (and not the other way around) then i feel like it would be one of the only times that he can actually relax. - he is always trying to work, or help someone else, or take care of something. this poor man needs a nap, and so if he has to close his eyes while you do his eyeshadow, hes probably gonna just take a little snooze.

Jason Todd: - not as big of a fan, but can be bribed into it if you offer to help him fuck with Bruce, or agree to cover for him if he ever needs it. - you can also get him to do it by telling him how much better he is than dick (or tim, theyre both soft spots for him) and/or that THEY would let you do their makeup. - he does it very reluctantly and demands that you either do a very natural look, or you do a very hot, dark, and sexy look. -please don't put red lipstick on him. frankly he doesn't want any lipstick on him, but especially red -(this also goes especially for AK Jason. You're not doing his makeup regardless, but if by some miracle he let you do his eyeliner or mascara, he will not let you get lipstick anywhere near him. he's probably afraid of fuckin chapstick too @thesandsofelsweyr i thought you would like this) -(hc that joker put makeup on ak jay!!! as a form of humiliation and to keep him "on brand") - will wash it off as soon as it's done/you let him

Tim Drake: - doesn't want his makeup done,, but if he has to crossdress to go undercover again then he might let you. -if thats how you got him to let you, then you have to do very subtle makeup, just enough to make him look a bit more "feminine" -the other way would be to drug his coffe/energy drink and do his makeup while he's asleep. This way would probably be more fun and also give you more creative control.

Damian Al-Ghul Wayne: - very reluctant and will only agree to if he owes you a favor (he is honorable) - or (aged up version, of course) if you are his beloved, and the two of you are in private, and you are not permitted to take any photos. - I think he would be a big fan of glam looks, or of darker grungier looks. -he will take it off as soon as you're done (though he might take a moment to admire your artwork before wiping it off)

[junggunz]

nsfw hcs for wooin & joker please 🫶🏽 (& for hyuk if you write for him) seeing them in ch464 reminds me of how obsessed I am with them UGH

bye I'm so in love the sabbath crew boys I want them to [redacted language]

sorryyy these are short as hell. i need to save some ideas for when i finally collect enough info to do nsfw alphabets.🥴🥴🥴

Wooin

he can be selfish in bed and he sincerely does not give a fuck. ESPECIALLY if he knows you're whipped and obsessed with his dick. will make fun of you for getting wet while sucking him off.

foreplay is not for your pleasure it is purely for his amusement. so with that being said this man has two distinct moods; teasing the fuck out of you during foreplay or skipping it completely. 

HIS TONGUE HIS TONGUE HIS TONGUE. GRRR. best believe he's using it all over you and driving you crazy with it. tongue kissing with him just hits different. he has a knack for turning your brain to mush just by kissing you.

probably expects you to be at his beck and call when he wants to fuck tbh. 

will slap you in the face with his dick. will also fuck you from behind with his foot on your face. he’s so scummy but he’s so hot you put up with it.

Joker:

i am not the first to say this and I will not be the last but this man is daddy.

strikes me as a super intense lover. It’s all or nothing with him.

has the range to flip between passionate love making and fucking you like his life depended on it.

this man isn’t going to outright ask you what you like in bed but he’ll pay very close attention to how you react to his actions.

this doesn’t have to be sexual but he thinks it’s cute when you bite him.

he also probably likes when you wear his clothes. Definitely the type to prefer you in one of his t-shirts and panties over fancy lingerie.

will slap his dick on your tongue. Affectionately. 

seeing you cum is probably what gets him off. He’s not stopping after one orgasm either. 

lowkey…im under the impression that despite him not speaking very often in the webtoon, he probably likes to dirty talk.

Hyuk 

….jo yongseok nim…PLEASE give me more of this man so i can make more accurate judgements of what he’s like in the bedroom.  

he gets super focused during sex. foreplay might start off playful and teasing but once he gets into the zone, he’s a menace. 

idk based on the little tidbit about him liking the attention from doing bike tricks in public…he strikes me as the type to have a praise kink maybe. dare i say public sex is also on his list of interests-  

keeps a polaroid of your ass in his phonecase LMFAO dont ask why

[evilvillain123456789]

I get scared people dont like me so what do I do?

OK listen to me first of all let me tell you details about myself I’m 40 years old and I’ve never taken bullshit from no one. This is not Riverbial or a joke or a metaphor I am not fucking with you I’m sitting your bitch ass down and telling you what’s real about life. I’m 40 years old and there can be 40 more of me but what’s more important regarding to your fucking pathetic situation is that you need to learn to not give a shit that’s right not give a shit.

you need to fucking stand up for yourself once in your life and realize that the shit that you like to do feels good unless it feels bad you know what I’m saying like don’t do some fucked up shit don’t actually do heroin or some shit that’s not a good idea you just need to get your shit together and like if you like like fucking rolling yourself up in a big tortilla and jerking off go ahead I don’t give a shit but don’t involve anyone and your bullshit man. Don’t evolve anyone and your bullshit and you’ll be fucking fine man. Just like reach out when you need help you know like peace and love blah blah are we fucking get it but here’s what I’m fucking saying. You got a let people give a shit about you good when they give a shit about you bad you just got a lean over fucking grab your ankles and fart on their fucking faces with big clapping wet shiny oily rosy butt cheeks keep going

and when I’m looking at those big oil a rosy wet butt cheeks that are weapon wet clapping clapping like a weapon I get pissed off and I just turn my head and throw up but you got to keep farting because if you fart oh man I’m sorry I’ve been getting a little Ronchi off topic here well truth be told my wife hasn’t let me hit in the past few weeks so I’ve been getting really into hobbies to try to avoid pornography even though the only pornography I look at is overwatch stuff. Woodworking

is what I’m really getting into these days to try to keep my hand off my fucking dick and it’s starting to work but I’m basically just kind of carving it like I’m chiseling clay I get kind of like a whole log and I just go to town rather than a 2 x 4 because it’s easier that way cause I got a bunch of trees need cut it down yeah I’m well aware I’m getting real raunchy with you right now a big Ronchi boy just kidding man fuck off come on. Did you catch the game last night it really got me upset that they put Wilt the stilt from the jokers back on the fucking line if you know what I’m saying. I know they’re going to trade McCafferty to the Lakers

fuck the lakers

yeah McCafferty man. He wrote all that shit on Twitter about how he’s gonna burn down the library‘s that Carnegie bought for New York. That was really fucked up and specific but he said he was joking so it’s like fine. I don’t even think he put them in New York I think he put them in their place of birth. Man I’ve been thinking about Carnegie a lot lately. He knew his kids were gonna turn out to be dip shit do you ever read the gospel of wealth. He knew his kids are gonna turn out to be stupid piece of shit so he didn’t really give them a big crazy fortune Yeah I know instead he just kind of wrote all this shit about libraries I guess that by today’s standard he’d be a socialist is what I’m trying to tell you which is a good thing I know that’s pretty left-wing of me and I know I’m been more of a centrist in the past Yep I know that’s pretty fucking left wing with me yeah I know that’s pretty left-wing

im a right winger but i stuck to grime thats why i've done what i've done in such a short time my g

oh you’re right winger are you. With all the shit that’s going on that’s not even fucking funny. Bro seriously you are. Fucking with me. That’s so fucking dumb. Why don’t you get off this gaming out for a little boys and play something else with a 40-year-old man huh. Like you and me. I’m talking outback. On the pavement. Your skull. Spattering and splattering. Into. 1 million. Beautiful. Shards. Of. Rubys

[lemontongues]

yknow ive been thinking again lately about how i would like to see more realism in batman content, both canon and fandom, but not the Dark And Gritty kind. the kind thats like.

yes actually he is highly emotionally intelligent and does understand himself quite well and has just accepted that he is A Freak and decided to roll with it rather than being so horrifically emotionally repressed that he can barely even acknowledge that what hes doing is based in trauma. hes been in therapy since he was like 9 years old. he studies human psychology extensively both for himself and so he has better odds of predicting whats gonna go wrong and how when hes up against a rogue or negotiating a hostage situation or whatever. he meditates for two hours a day and is fully capable of keeping a healthy handle on his anger 98% of the time. he's nice to people and fun to be around and sincerely caring. if he were just Always Right but super isolated and reactive and cruel and controlling everyone would fucking hate him and no it wouldnt be enough to sustain his crimefighting activities, thats a stupid lone wolf fuckboy fantasy

he has a strict 9pm bedtime that he only breaks for mandatory WE/brucie activities or emergencies. if theres a gala where he needs to rub shoulders with ppl to gather intel or keep his company running he'll do it but hes Not Happy about being out until midnight and cuts out early as often as possible, and when hes chasing the joker around until 3am hes lamenting his poor sweet circadian rhythm that did nothing wrong ever in its life the whole time. when hes batmanning hes expending a fuckton of energy and he needs to make it up and have a well-established routine to counteract the punishment hes putting his body through. on a similar note, this man is building braces and compression into his suit and doing extensive physical therapy exercises every day of his life bc he wants to have helpful little things like "knees" and "shoulders" by the time hes 40, and hes probably eating a small farms worth of assorted leafy greens and several chickens per day

he is simply Never drunk and he doesnt actually have that much sex. hes really really good at faking a) being drunk and b) getting a high priority phone call from lucius the minute someone hes making out with starts trying to get his shirt off. he also does a lot of "hey look i gotta get out of here with my reputation intact, can we help each other out and pretend we're gonna go fuck?" kind of negotiating with ppl (see: his 9pm bedtime, plus sometimes hes gotta slip away from an event to be sneaky), which is how a lot of the more wild stories about him start circulating lol. this is a man who's regularly getting gassed/injected/etc with highly experimental substances created by maniacs trying to torment or kill him, he does NOT want substances like drugs or alcohol in his body that could potentially interact with them, and the last thing he needs is to be dealing with a pregnancy or sti scare. plus if he can play it safe with someone and have them think of him as a nice and trustworthy dude who just has a bonkers reputation, all the better for his batman activities!

idk i just feel like theres unexplored potential in a lot of that stuff bc so much of recent batman mythos is like HES SO HARDCORE AND CAN DO ANYTHING AND HES ALWAYS RIGHT CAUSE HES SO PARANOID AND DISRESPECTFUL OF PPL AND THEIR BOUNDARIES BUT ITS OKAY BC ITS IN THE NAME OF BEING RIGHT and im like. okay. gotta admit that i dont rly find that believable or in line with my values. can we talk about WE's sweet sweet employee benefits package and bruce designing his suit to take most of the impact off his knees when he jumps off a roof. members of the jl discovering that he gives shockingly balanced and insightful advice about their mundane personal problems. bruce printing his own batsymbol envelopes to leave people cash after he misaims his grappling hook and breaks their window. things of that nature.

[thewertsearch]

Asks Compilation 20/11 - 2

CC: I will need to connect after my goofball moirail does so I can keep my goggles on )(is nefarious escapades. [...] CC: Isnt t)(at w)(at youre doing too? Joining late to keep an eye on yours? GA: I Dont Know For A Fact That She Is Mine CC: )(a)(a youre not supposed to know for a FACT dummy! [...] GA: I Know GA: But What If I Dont Really Want Her To Be That

This initially sounded like Kanaya wasn't sure if she wanted any kind of relationship with Vriska, but in retrospect, it's clear she was just confused about the type of relationship she wanted.

The post quoted above is my analysis of Equius and Nepeta's relationship. We now know, more or less, the 'reason' that she puts up with him - but I'm still not convinced she should.

For sure - it would have highlighted their relationship as a moirallegiance a lot earlier than the comic did.

I probably wasn't going to guess that they were moirails, though - hell, I still probably wouldn't be able to guess it, if it hadn't been explicitly stated!

I think moirallegiance is romantic. It exists under the umbrella of troll romance, after all. I just think it's also platonic - a contradiction that would confuse a human, but would make perfect sense to a troll.

Not a problem! Shipping dynamics are confusing enough when we're just talking about one type of relationship.

'The Joker has a pitch crush on Batman' is not the take I expected to see in my inbox, but damn if it doesn't make sense.

Never mind. This is the take I needed to see.

I see it, and I'm never going to stop seeing it. Honestly, I'm not sure Ianthe is capable of any kind of relationship other than a pitch one.

This is so funny. Is Homestuck really enhancing my reading of The Locked Tomb to this degree? Is this really what we're doing now?

Oh my god, I didn't even think about Augustine and Mercymorn. What they have going on is a hot mess, and kismesissitude describes it perfectly.

Oh, damn. Muir really is a diehard fan, isn't she? I'll have to read her fics when I'm done.

Just for the record: Harrow and Palamedes are totally moirails, and he auspisticizes for her and Gideon in Canaan House. In this essay I will

See, I know what you meant, but I do love the idea that swearing is banned on Alternia.

Maybe that's why they use quirks? To get past Trollian's filtering? lmao

Doof and Perry are clearly moirails, with Perry as the pacifier. His calming influence is obvious, as Doof's 'villainy' gradually becomes more and more benign throughout the show, and their relationship becomes increasingly casual.

"they seem like very good moirails! :)"

I wonder what the demographics are around troll orientations, actually. It seems as if you can form a kismesis/matesprit pair with a troll of any gender, so maybe trolls are predominantly pansexual.

Honestly, these symbols are very useful. The quadrants are surrounded by an overwhelming amount of terminology, so it's good to have them as shorthand. Equius♦Nepeta, Kanaya♥Rose, etc.

Anonymous asked: Something interesting is that Equius's violent impulses are actually comparatively stable. He definitely has them, but he's managed to get a constructive outlet for them in the form of robot cage-matches. Compare the outright-genocidal CA, vriska's manipul8ion and crippling of Tavros + murder of all those other trolls, or to a certain extent Terezi's own love of carnage. The only trolls in the top half of the hemospectrum we've met who haven't demonstrated any 'violent urges' are Kanaya and Gamzee [...] Equius might be fucked up, but he has mechanisms and strategies to not take it out on anyone around him.

There's also CC, the only high-blood whose disposition remains a relative unknown. We've just been semi-officially introduced to her, though, so we'll probably be seeing more of her soon.

Anyway, you're right - Equius has his coping mechanisms, and the implication is that he could be a lot worse. We haven't seen Nepeta act as his moirail yet, but maybe she's been doing so offscreen.

Thank you! I'm pretty sure it boils down to the fact that the quadrant system is fairly complex, and I love that shit. Give me a set of rules, and I'll analyze the hell out them, every time.

This is something that Hussie has always been good at, both in Homestuck and Problem Sleuth - and it seems like it can even make shipping interesting to me.

To Gamzee, Equius is a friend with detriments.

To Equius, Gamzee is a friend with weird caste system baggage that he isn't sure how to deal with. Plus, he's clearly into him, although I can't figure out in which quadrant.

Yeah, I guess it's always possible that a 'typical' auspistice doesn't need much social ability. When you get right down to it, all you really need to do is keep the warring parties apart, so anything beyond that might cross the line into advanced auspisticism.

Maybe a 'meddler' like Kanaya is indeed a rarity, which would make per a particularly popular auspistice. Like I said, there aren't a lot of trolls around with a disposition like hers.

I haven't decided yet if I'll be liveblogging anything after Homestuck - but I've added it to the list of prospective projects. We'll see how I feel when Homestuck is finished with, in late 2034.

Yup - if we interpret a 'spadekind specialist' as a master of caliginous relationships, then Karkat's the one who fits the bill.

[olivia-anderson-fanfic]

A Canary's Tweets

(Bolded are tweets that weren't already included in the fic)

Spoilers for the fic. Obviously.

~~~~~

OliverQueenOfficial: Why does that one Gotham villain go by Canary? Black Canary already exists.

TheBetterCanary: if youre gonna vague tweet maybe dont put my name in it

TheBetterCanary: but anyways someone else named me that and it stuck before i could think of something to change it to

ScareCrane:… @/RiddleMeThis she’s dissing you

RiddleMeThis: LISTEN UP. IT WAS THEMATIC. DON’T ANY OF YOU KNOW ANYTHING OF DRAMA? EVER HEAR ABOUT CANARIES IN COAL MINES? FUCK ALL OF YOU AND YOUR UNCULTURED, UNEDUCATED ASSES. NOT TO MENTION IT WAS MAKING FUN OF THE BIRD THEME ALL THE VIGILANTES HER AGE SEEM TO HAVE. (1/14)

TheBetterCanary: @/ScareCrane why would you do that you knew he was going to do this

ScareCrane: Joker just broke out so Arkham is boring… needed to entertain myself somehow

TheBetterCanary: fuck you im not visiting this weekend

OliverQueenOfficial: Wow do I regret asking. I didn’t need all this family drama in my comments.

~

TheBetterCanary: @/Yummmmmm enemies to lovers 180k with me

Yummmmmm: I hate you

TheBetterCanary: and so it begins

~

TheBetterCanary: gonna lace a cross with kryptonite i think that would be so funny

TheBetterCanary: the christians would so cancel superman if he had to shy away from a cross

Yummmmmm: Isn’t he already canceled because he’s Jewish

Supes: Please stop reminding them.

~

TheBetterCanary: @/Yummmmmm stop hacking into my twitter to unblock nightwing he keeps liking my tweets hating on him *liked by Daylightwing*

TheBetterCanary: you guys think youre so funny *liked by Daylightwing*

~

Gothamlite: Red Robin and Nightwing really said I will hack Canary’s twitter but not to figure out her location, no we must mildly inconvenience her by unblocking Nightwing.

TheBetterCanary: to be fair the unblocking nightwing thing is far more annoying to me *Liked by Daylightwing*

TheBetterCanary: motherfucker

~

TheBetterCanary: where are you guys @/ScareCrane @/RiddleMeThis

ScareCrane: Arkham…

TheBetterCanary: leave i want to talk to you

RiddleMeThis: We can’t just leave.

TheBetterCanary: yeah you can all you gotta do is get out

RiddleMeThis: It’s not that easy for us.

TheBetterCanary: oh right

TheBetterCanary: want me to help you guys out

ScareCrane: Yes please

~

ArkhamStaffHateClub: and, in today’s news, the day canary is spotted walking into arkham is the same day there was a breakout

TheBetterCanary: i have no clue why they even let me in anymore

Gothamlite: @/GCPDNews @/Batman7 @/Oracle @/Yummmmmm

TheBetterCanary: hey youre nineteen right

Gothamlite: Yes?

TheBetterCanary: fair game

~

TheBetterCanary: tim drake 🤝 red robin throwing coffee cups in random trash cans so their families don't know how much they’re drinking

Yummmmmm: Snitch

~

ScareCrane: Well, if nothing else, giving Canary therapy has been interesting…

SpoilerAlert: did you learn anything

ScareCrane: I confirmed that she’s a pathological liar…

~

TheBetterCanary: @/BrucieWayne give me a hundred million dollars and ill stop doing crime

BrucieWayne: Done.

TheBetterCanary: i take it back five hundred million

BrucieWayne: Sure.

TheBetterCanary: a billion

BrucieWayne: Alright.

TheBetterCanary: what the fuck

~

NightwingsAss9384: does anyone know why nightwing and canary hate each other?

ScareCrane: She stabbed Batman once on accident and somehow got away with blaming it on him

Daylightwing: She refuses to let B adopt her.

RiddleMeThis: They think it’s funny when their stans fight.

SignalOfficial: They said ‘I’m the only flippy bitch allowed in New Jersey’ and have been fighting ever since

Yummmmmm: He has to or else Robin will get jealous because he’s the only stabby sibling allowed

Oracle: They’re fighting over who gets to change their name to ‘The Dodo’ first.

DeadHood: Nightwing is jealous that Canary was the first one of us to think to have a full-on bird mask.

TheBetterCanary: every time i go into the batfam tag to try and avoid them all i see is his fancams

SpoilerAlert: they’re both convinced that they’re the hottest bachelor/bachelorette in gotham

NightwingsAss9384: im beginning to think no ones going to tell me.

BlackBat: :)

~

RiddleMeThis: I can’t believe Spoiler likes me more than my own daughter.

SpoilerAlert: i just think you’re better than cluemaster was, i don’t like you

ScareCrane: To be fair he didnt say you had to like him… just that you liked him more than Canary

ScareCrane: Anyways, what did you do @/TheBetterCanary

TheBetterCanary: hes just being dramatic because i solved one of his riddles too quickly

RiddleMeThis: IT IS COMMON ETIQUETTE TO LET SOMEONE FINISH TALKING BEFORE YOU ANSWER THEM.

~

TheBetterCanary: beat the shit out of a joker stan today so i think my life is going pretty good

SpoilerAlert: 👨🦯👨🦯

Daylightwing: As You Should.

Oracle: Oh dear, seems like I’ve gone blind now, too.

Batman7: As long as no one died...

DeadHood: Not as good as beating the shit out of the real thing, but still pretty good.

BlackBat: :D

TheOneTrueRobin: Good for her.

~

TheBetterCanary: we all know that there is a tier list of rogue stans

TheBetterCanary: like poison ivy and mr freeze stans are all just leftists that want a healthy world and for people to not die because theyre poor

TheBetterCanary: harley quinn stans want her to achieve personal growth and thats respectable i guess

TheBetterCanary: then theres my stans and thats just because half of them arent even aware im a villain they just think im some influencer thats very committed to a bit and the other half are just horny which is fair i guess

TheBetterCanary: then theres every other stan right

TheBetterCanary: and of course at the bottom are joker stans because theyre nazis

Joker: WHAT

TheBetterCanary: did you not know

Joker: GIVE ME A MINUTE

TheBetterCanary: wait no dm me where you are i want to punch a couple of them too

~

BlackGatePrison: We have made this account to kindly ask Canary to stop helping Yakuza members break out of prison.

TheBetterCanary: no their restaurants make good food

~

TheBetterCanary: in case you were wondering rogues do in fact reuse a lot of their speeches

TheBetterCanary: especially @/RiddleMeThis he reuses the same like five riddles over and over again

RiddleMeThis: Why would you expose your own father like this?

TheBetterCanary: im sick of those riddles get new ones you unoriginal fuck

~

TheBetterCanary: you just lost the game

RiddleMeThis: FUCK YOU.

~

Supes: Why are Rogues… like that?

TheBetterCanary: mental illness

Supes: I see.

~

GotHam: Does anyone know Canary’s tragic backstory?

TheBetterCanary: i met a parisian once

DeadHood: Know what? I think she should be allowed to commit crimes. I’m so sorry you had to go through that.

TheBetterCanary: thanks for offering support during these trying times

~

TheBetterCanary: friendly reminder that i can and have benched batman so fucking with me is a bad idea

RiddleMeThis: Bullshit.

TheBetterCanary: meet me at the park ill prove it

TheBetterCanary: @/Batman7 get the stick out of your ass and get over here itll be fun

GothamGazette: Canary can, in fact, bench Batman. See the attached article for how they discovered this fact and how their respective friends and family reacted.

~

TheBetterCanary: calling him the riddler implies that there are other riddlers that are less important therefore it is stupid and i refuse to say the the part aloud

RiddleMeThis: Someone got onto you about your grammar again, didn’t they?

TheBetterCanary: you dont get to be condescending until you win against the bats even once

~

RedRobinsCape: red robin gives off so much Bi Wife Energy it’s insane

Yummmmmm: What do you mean bi wife energy, Red Robin IS bi

TheOneTrueRobin: This is not your private account.

Yummmmmm: Fuck

~

GothamTimes: We are pleased to announce that Robin has officially come out as bisexual!

Yummmmmm: Hate to tell you this @/GothamTimes but you forgot part of my name

TheOneTrueRobin: No. I stole the bisexuality from you when you became Red Robin.

TheBetterCanary: hold up guys maybe they just think that all of the robins are bi

DeadHood: Being bi is actually a little-known prerequisite for being Robin.

SpoilerAlert: roBIn

Daylightwing: @/TheBetterCanary Youre bi right?

TheBetterCanary: all these years avoiding being adopted by batman and its my sexuality that screwed me over

~

TheBetterCanary: why go to a professional doctor who spent years getting their degree when you can get fixed up by a guy named brett in his mothers garage

~

Yummmmmm: @/TheBetterCanary If you could do one crime without consequences what would you do

TheBetterCanary: i do that anyways

TheBetterCanary: but also id beat up the guy who came up with trickle down economics

Yummmmmm: Ronald Reagan is already dead

TheBetterCanary: i could be digging up corpses to beat them up in my spare time you dont know me

~

GothamGazette: And, for the fourth year in a row, Canary has been nominated as the city’s favorite Rogue! See the attached article for the other rankings.

TheBetterCanary: further proof that im the hottest rogue in gotham

DeadHood: Bullshit.

Catwomnyan: Not at all.

PoisonIvy: No❤️

RiddleMeThis: I never should have helped her. I used to win every year and this is the thanks I get.

Penguin: Don’t feel bad, I’m pretty sure she rigs it

TheBetterCanary: please if i rigged it id set it up so i would win by exactly one point

ScareCrane: Someone’s just mad that they got last place

Penguin: I got placed lower than Joker, of course I’m mad

TheBetterCanary: its because youre boring hope that helps

~

TheBetterCanary: just saw catwoman make out with batman to get out of jail so here is my formal application to be red robins fuck buddy

Yummmmmm: Why me

TheBetterCanary: all the other bats around my age are way out of my league so youre my last resort

SpoilerAlert: ouch™ sucks to suck red

BlackBat: XD

SignalOfficial: I mean… she’s not wrong

Yummmmmm: You’re all dead to me

~

TheBetterCanary: one day robin will get a cat and name it batcat and it will completely ruin the batfamily ship and pet tags

TheOneTrueRobin: @/Batman7 Father…

~

TheBetterCanary: everyone thinks i know things because im smart but a lot of the time people just accidentally tell me things

TheBetterCanary: the reason i found out about the league was that one of their members saw i was asian and just assumed i was one of them and no one realized i was just some random person until like three weeks in

BernieDowd: the league?

TheBetterCanary: dont worry about it

TheBetterCanary: wait youre that conspiracy theorist actually do worry about it i would love to know what you think im talking about

~

SpoilerAlert: canary totally has a knife kink

TheBetterCanary: what the fuck

SpoilerAlert: why else would you use knives almost exclusively

TheBetterCanary: because theyre quiet

TheBetterCanary: and stabby

SpoilerAlert: you’re so right i’m so sorry

~

GothamGazette: Riddler and Canary’s vendetta against escape rooms! See the attached photo and article!

TheBetterCanary: @/ScareCrane look mom were on tv

ScareCrane: Very proud of you sweetie

MetropolisIsOverrated: Did I just watch canary and riddler use a police car like it was a fucking CAB??

RiddleMeThis: You missed the perfect opportunity for an 'ACAB' joke.

SignalOfficial: Damn it… can’t believe you’re out of custody already

TheBetterCanary: bold of you to assume we were ever in custody

~

TimDrakeWayne: Sometimes I wonder whether I’ve seen Canary at cosplay shops before and just not recognized her

TheBetterCanary: it isnt cosplay its acting

TimDrakeWayne: And where do you get your costumes

TheBetterCanary: alright everyone socialist uprising time its time to eat the rich especially this guy

TimDrakeWayne: Please don’t, I probably don’t taste good

~

TheBetterCanary: watching a furry get beat up like damn but its kinda his fault for going out in a fursuit

TheBetterCanary: i cant believe this is what im getting cancelled over and not the millions of times i helped out villains

TheBetterCanary: oh so now everyone cares about the villain thing wow i see how it is

TheBetterCanary: im a gothamite this is literally a joke about all the fursuits that the vigilantes and rogues have i dont care about actual furries damn

TheBetterCanary: twitter unverified me over this im going to commit a murder

~

TheBetterCanary: going to start calling villains i dont like by the wrong name to annoy them

TheBetterCanary: called penguin a cuckoo and he really acted like i was stigmatizing mental illness like bitch i am mental illness

TheBetterCanary: okay apparently blockbuster really misses disco he just burst into tears in front of me what do i do

TheBetterCanary: called joker jack and he freaked and tried to shoot me

TheBetterCanary: i have given up calling them the wrong names

~

TheBetterCanary: hey @/RiddleMeThis and @/ScareCrane marry each other and claim me as a dependant

ScareCrane: I mean… sure but why

TheBetterCanary: tax benefits

RiddleMeThis: You’re so right. Meet me in an hour.

Yummmmmm: I hate to be a buzzkill but, if you’re going to commit marriage fraud, maybe don’t announce it on a public platform

TheBetterCanary: maybe dont be a snitch and mind your own business damn

Yummmmmm: Your job is literally being a snitch and not minding your own business

TheBetterCanary: yeah but when i do it its in the cool sexy way

~

TheBetterCanary: props to the guy that tried to pull an updog on me the other day he definitely had some guts

TheOneTrueRobin: What is “updog”?

TheBetterCanary: oh honey i am so sorry

SpoilerAlert: nothing whats up with you

Daylightwing: Nothing wbu?

Oracle: Are we going to pretend that Canary didn’t definitely harvest organs from that guy?

SignalOfficial: Nothing much whats up with you

~

TheBetterCanary: @/TheOneTrueRobin hey i need help with a math problem can you come here

TheOneTrueRobin: I suppose so.

TheOneTrueRobin: She was setting up a sniper gun.

TheBetterCanary: to be fair theres angles involved

Batman7: @/TheOneTrueRobin You didn’t help her, correct?

Batman7: @/TheOneTrueRobin?

~ 

GothamGazette: Joker gets shot in the hand! 

Batman7: Well, at least she didn’t kill anyone, I guess.

Joker: THERE IS A FUCKING HOLE IN MY PALM.

TheBetterCanary: i was aiming for your middle finger if that makes you feel any better

Joker: YKNOW IT REALLY FUCKING DOESNT.

~

SignalOfficial: Holy shit @/TheBetterCanary do you seriously have a Nokia

TheBetterCanary: fuck off im tired of my phones breaking while i fight

TheBetterCanary: or better yet donate to a gofundme to get me a better phone

~

TheBetterCanary: the quickest way to my heart is through someone elses

Batman7: Please stop encouraging people to commit murder.

TheBetterCanary: no

~

Yummmmmm: @/TheBetterCanary Stop pulling the racism card at every minor inconvenience challenge

TheBetterCanary: is this sexism that i am experiencing

TheBetterCanary: do i sense a bit of homophobia here

TheBetterCanary: look at this ableist bitch

SignalOfficial: Honestly @/Yummmmmm you played yourself here

SpoilerAlert: gee bill how come your mom lets you have four minorities

TheBetterCanary: ive got a punchcard and if i collect five minorities i get one get out of jail free card

Oracle: @/TheBetterCanary Wait. Ableism?

TheBetterCanary: what about me screams mentally stable to you

~

TheBetterCanary: penguin feels homophobic but you didnt hear it from me

RiddleMeThis: He isn’t. Trust me.

TheBetterCanary: hey what does this mean

TheBetterCanary: ed

TheBetterCanary: ed pick up the fucking phone

~

TheBetterCanary: this is now a riddler hate account

RiddleMeThis: I was 30! And mentally ill!

TheBetterCanary: as if you arent mentally ill now

TheBetterCanary: anyways @/ScareCrane congrats on winning youve got adoption rights

ScareCrane: As happy as I am… what happened

RiddleMeThis: She found out I dated Penguin fifteen years ago.

TheBetterCanary: im never forgiving you for this

TheBetterCanary: @/RiddleMeThis did you just throw a burlap sack full of money at my window

RiddleMeThis: Depends. Is it working?

TheBetterCanary: ooooo nonsequential serial numbers my favorite

TheBetterCanary: yeah youre back in the game

ScareCrane: DAMN IT

~

TheBetterCanary: ugh why is riddler so annoying

Gothamlite: Right?

TheBetterCanary: the fuck did you just say ill kill you

~

TheBetterCanary: reading self insert fanfiction about yourself is self care actually

TheBetterCanary: im thirsting over black bat on my first page glad to see they nailed my characterization

TheBetterCanary: how did they manage to find the one trauma i dont actually have like dude you were standing five feet in front of the target and you shot straight up what

TheBetterCanary: kissed a mirror to simulate kissing myself and let me say im not as good a kisser as i was in the fic

TheBetterCanary: if im screwing me is it masturbation or clone fucking

TheBetterCanary: theyre moving in together after three months its always great to see good lesbian representation

TheBetterCanary: im taking myself on a shopping spree and honestly good for me

TheBetterCanary: haha wait a minute why are there death flags

TheBetterCanary: i missed major character death in the tags hlep

Yummmmmm: Rip

~

SpoilerAlert: happy two year anniversary to the time canary and red robin dressed up as each other for halloween and almost ruined each other’s reputation in opposite ways

TheBetterCanary: im still offended you guys think that im secretly a good person

Yummmmmm: At least they don’t think you’d turn evil at the drop of a hat

DeadHood: To be fair, out of every Rogue and Vigilante, you two are the most likely to switch sides.

TheBetterCanary: fucks that supposed to mean

Yummmmmm: Go back to angsting over Percy Jackson not being as good as it used to be or something fuck you

TheBetterCanary: harry potter and the audacity of this bitch

Yummmmmm: As if you aren’t so in the middle that most people don’t know which side you’re on half the time

TheBetterCanary: you literally died and came back dont you talk about switching sides

~

SpoilerAlert: @/TheBetterCanary how did you get verified

TheBetterCanary: threats

SpoilerAlert: oh cool thanks for the tip

~

Batman7: @/TheBetterCanary Did any of my children visit your home last night for medical assistance?

TheBetterCanary: transfer me five thousand and ill tell you

Batman7: Done.

TheBetterCanary: nice

TheBetterCanary: anyways the answer is no they did not

~

TheBetterCanary: ew nightwing is in town for thanksgiving *liked by Daylightwing*

TheBetterCanary: @/RiddleMeThis do you still have that red wig or no

RiddleMeThis: You are not convincing me to try and seduce Nightwing.

GothamGazette: Nightwing spotted getting decked by what was obviously Riddler in a red wig! See the attached article for pictures!

Daylightwing: I mean. It wasn’t THAT obvious.

~

Yummmmmm: Gotta love when all of your POC friends gang up on you try and get you to say the word

Daylightwing: What word? I don’t know any words.

TheBetterCanary: cmon red answer the question we wont tell anyone

TheOneTrueRobin: We know you want to say it.

SignalOfficial: It’s fun I’ll even say it first if it makes you feel better

Yummmmmm: @/BlackBat Help

BlackBat: @/Daylightwing @/TheBetterCanary @/TheOneTrueRobin @/SignalOfficial

TheBetterCanary: scatter

~

TheBetterCanary: sometimes i remember that theres probably a huge database where the bats keep track of and analyze every tweet we rogues make and it makes me smile

TheBetterCanary: anyways

TheBetterCanary: contrary to popular opinion there is a difference between being a slut and having a lot of sex

TheBetterCanary: nightwing is a slut that is relatively monogamous *liked by Daylightwing*

TheBetterCanary: batman has ungodly amounts of sex in the worst places imaginable but no one would ever call him a slut

TheBetterCanary: thank you for coming to my ted talk

~

TheBetterCanary: we rogues and bats need a token straight so the straights dont get mad so who is gonna take the fall for us

Yummmmmm: They can have Joker, we don’t want him

TheBetterCanary: nah i dont want to know who he would fixate on if he liked women so someone else

RiddleMeThis: The straights can have Penguin.

TheBetterCanary: no i dont want him to have straight privilege

SignalOfficial: I’ll take one for the team

TheBetterCanary: this is why youre the best

~

RiddleMeThis: Has anyone ever wondered why @/ScareCrane hasn’t used a truth serum to figure out Batman’s identity yet? Because there’s a reason.

ScareCrane: I don’t deserve this…

RiddleMeThis: @/TheBetterCanary Do you want to do the honors of telling the public or should I?

TheBetterCanary: hahahaha oh right i remember that let me

TheBetterCanary: while it compels people to tell the truth it doesnt force them to tell them the answer

TheBetterCanary: so batman just ranted about his most recent hyperfixation for five hours until red robin showed up to help

SpoilerAlert: what was he hyperfixated on at the time lmao

ScareCrane: Sprinklers…

Yummmmmm: They were practically begging me to take them to Arkham by the end

Batman7: You three didn’t like the conversation we had?

BlackBat: @/RiddleMeThis @/ScareCrane @/TheBetterCanary

RiddleMeThis: It was very enlightening.

ScareCrane: It was actually very enjoyable

TheBetterCanary: ive always wanted to know about sprinklers

BlackBat: :)

~

MarryMeCanary: So since Canary knows a lot about shipping… do you guys think she has a tumblr?

TheBetterCanary: everyone should be glad i dont the only thing keeping me from going absolutely feral is the fact that i dont want to get banned on twitter

~

TheBetterCanary: every year i say this is the last year that im going to help my fellow rogues file their taxes for extra cash and every year im a liar please pay me money

User44555511552: Are we going to talk about how Rogues are literal SERIAL KILLERS but they still file taxes??? Because that shit is weird???

TheBetterCanary: there are two things that rogues fear

TheBetterCanary: the irs and the goon union

TheBetterCanary: yes i know they should have called it the goonion its not my fault they cant name things damn stop spamming me

User44555511552: But WHY are you scared of the IRS???

Yummmmmm: Because they can’t get off with insanity pleas so, hypothetically, they might actually have to face some kind of punishment for their crimes

~

TheBetterCanary: i should have called the cps on @/Batman7 when i had the chance

~

Yummmmmm: @/TheBetterCanary What did you do to piss of Ra’s

TheBetterCanary: who

TheBetterCanary: oh wait youre talking about old man number two

Yummmmmm: Nevermind I think I figured it out

TheOneTrueRobin: Old man number two?

TheBetterCanary: he and one other guy are both way over three hundred which makes them old men and i met him second therefore hes number two

TheBetterCanary: tell him that if he wants to be old man number one then he can always kill the guy

TheOneTrueRobin: I highly doubt that it is the numbering that has irritated him.

TheOneTrueRobin: I stand corrected. He wishes for a name.

TheBetterCanary: check your dms it should be between the video of the dog wearing booties for the first time and the picture of the pig in a teapot

TheOneTrueRobin: I have located it. That is a very generic name, and likely an alias, but thank you.

~

BernieDowd: @/TheBetterCanary what do you think about people that think that the Waynes are the bats?

TheBetterCanary: honestly every argument is super flimsy

BernieDowd: what about the bruises on the Wayne men?

TheBetterCanary: have you seen the kinds of women that theyre into

TheBetterCanary: if they arent into some shit id release my actual name to the public

TheBetterCanary: lmao the wayne legal team is trying to sue me for slander

TheBetterCanary: its not slander if its true babes

~

TheBetterCanary: @/DeadHood always gets credit for being the most committed to the bit because he wears a second mask under his helmet but @/Janus manages to find every set of twins in gotham for every job without fail so really i think hes the most devoted rogue

~

RiddleMeThis: I’m starting to believe that the only reason @/TheBetterCanary is still alive is that she has so much sheer audacity that no one knows how to react.

ScareCrane: She looked Batman dead in the eye during a lecture and said “And what’re you going to do if I do it again? Kill me? Didn’t think so”... so, yeah, that’s probably it

Yummmmmm: The first time I tried to fight her she asked if I had taken pole dancing lessons in preparation for using my bo

Catwomnyan: She helped me rob a store at gunpoint and then revealed to me that the gun she was using was just a prop because she had forgotten the real one at home

DeadHood: I stopped genuinely trying to catch her when I watched her give a guy sunglasses, say “You’re going to need this!”, and then light his house on fire. I asked what he did to deserve it. Apparently, he “booped her nose”.

PoisonIvy: She chugged an entire glass of poisoned wine and then asked penguin how he managed to get his hands on it because it tasted really good ❤️

Janus: She got called into court for a civil suit. I offered to be her lawyer. She refused because she had apparently been in Mock Trial in high school. She said she had failed the course, and hardly remembered anything, but was prepared to wing it. She managed to win the case.

Batman7: She once provided me with an itemized list as to why she should be allowed to commit murder. Items 1-57 and 59-101 were all “I’m hot”. Item 58 was simply “Joker”.

~

Penguin: Canary says she’s not a bitch but if someone paid her ten dollars I bet she would bark like a dog

TheBetterCanary: when have i ever said im not a bitch

~

TheBetterCanary: i want money so im now taking sponsors

Yummmmmm: That’s not going to work, no one wants to sponsor a rogue

TheBetterCanary: youre right

TheBetterCanary: im now taking antisponsors where i promote your competitors so they look bad

Daylightwing: Preeeeeetty sure thats illegal

TheBetterCanary: i will ponder the legality and morality of what i am doing over a refreshing can of doctor pepper

~

TheBetterCanary: nightwing is the type of guy to make pancakes with the scrambled egg method and then cry when it doesnt work

Daylightwing: Get out of my safehouse

~

TheBetterCanary: hey @/ScareCrane can i vent to you

ScareCrane: Of course

ScareCrane: The motherfucker came out of the vents

TheBetterCanary: i literally warned you

~

TheOneTrueRobin: @/TheBetterCanary and @/SignalOfficial, please refrain from calling my mother a “MILF” from now on.

SignalOfficial: We only speak the truth

TheBetterCanary: tell her to stop being a milf if youre so concerned about it

~

TheOneTrueRobin: Canary is a lot less threatening when she dramatically whips out a contract, only to give herself a papercut and then cry for five whole minutes.

TheBetterCanary: fuck you youre paying extra

~

TheBetterCanary: i know im the number one nightwing hater and all *Liked by Daylightwing*

TheBetterCanary: but i can respect someone who regularly butchers the english language

Daylightwing: It is very dumb.

TheBetterCanary: the fact that it exists is a hate crime against me personally

SpoilerAlert: not what a hate crime is

TheBetterCanary: oh yeah white girl tell me all about hate crimes id love to hear your take

SpoilerAlert: on second thought you’re good

TheBetterCanary: thats what i fucking thought

~

SignalOfficial: @/TheBetterCanary What is this shit are you fucking serious oh my god

TheBetterCanary: youre going to have to be more specific than that but im going to go off on a limb here and say probably not

SignalOfficial: Why is there a bird in Scarecrow’s cell

TheBetterCanary: oh that

SignalOfficial: Don’t “oh that” me what the fuck is this

TheBetterCanary: do i really have to spell it out for you

TheBetterCanary: thats not just any type of bird its a crane and it turns out the local zookeepers have a pretty dark sense of humor

SignalOfficial: Fuck

TheOneTrueRobin: @/Batman7 Father…

Batman7: No.

TheOneTrueRobin: Where is your Christmas spirit?

Batman7: You are Muslim. I am Jewish.

TheBetterCanary: aw @/TheOneTrueRobin if you join my side ill let you keep the bird

TheOneTrueRobin: I will consider the offer and get back to you within five to six business days.

Batman7: @/TheOneTrueRobin Fine. You can keep Jonathan the Crane, but he is not allowed in the cave.

TheOneTrueRobin: @/Batman7 I agree to your terms. @/TheBetterCanary I regret to inform you that I must decline your offer.

TheBetterCanary: @/TheOneTrueRobin happy holidays kid dont say i never do anything for you

Batman7: Damn it.

~

TheBetterCanary: best idea for a prank is to give your enemies a completely normal shirt for christmas and watch them suffer as they try to figure out what you did to it

Penguin: Maybe don’t post your plans on a public platform

TheBetterCanary: that shirt looks great on you

TheBetterCanary: part two of the prank is to say that its fine in front of them so they put it on to spite you and then get chicken pox

~

TheBetterCanary: sometimes i forget how starved shippers are for content and then i see someone shipping me with robin because i didnt kill him when i could have and im like oh yeah right

~

GothamGazette: DNA found on a headless body in Park Row confuses scientists!

SpoilerAlert: no head *breaks skateboard*

Batman7: Someone is dead.

TheBetterCanary: it was a skateboard breaking of mourning

~

France24: Hawkmoth was just found dead in his cell!

TheRealLadybug: @/ChatonNoir told you ed would follow through you owe me a dollar

ChatonNoir: Wild

ChatonNoir: Wait when did he kill him we just saw him yesterday

TheRealLadybug: how about we chalk it up to the power of love hahaha

TheLadyBlog: LADYBUG YOU’RE ALIVE?!

TheRealLadybug: nah it turns out that hell has really good wifi

~

TheBetterCanary: @/Penguin youre not a girlboss youre a boyemployee

SignalOfficial: @/Staff I am begging you guys to just ban her already

~

Batman: okay my fellow gothamites were going to have a purge kind of situation in a couple of days to see if it actually reduces crime throughout the rest of the year feel free to commit crimes none of us bats will arrest you i promise

Batman7: Canary. Please stop. I said I was sorry.

Batman: shut up youre probably balding

Yummmmmm: What did he do

Batman: got me banned so now i have to use this account

Yummmmmm: I’ll unban you

Batman: okay but im not taking back the tweets

~

TheBetterCanary: i hate trying on new clothes the stuff i like never fits

TheBetterCanary: im too short to be a slut

BlackBat: :(

User223584125153: Fatherless behavior

TheBetterCanary: yknow i was gonna give a proper response but then i realized i dont have to

TheBetterCanary: @/Scarecrane @/RiddleMeThis get his ass

Daylightwing: @/Batman7

TheBetterCanary: i resent that but also @/Batman7 beat him uppppp

~

TheBetterCanary: nightwing fightwing for whats rightwing *Liked by Daylightwing*

Daylightwing: Feel the need to clarify that just because I Liked this doesn’t mean I liked it.

TheBetterCanary: go crywing

~

TheBetterCanary: i live in constant shame that nothing i ever say will ever be as funny as two face when he called bruce wayne a dumb slut on live tv

~

TheBetterCanary: it looks like some dumbass has decided to kidnap alfred pennyworth so its time to take bets

RiddleMeThis: Oh! $50 says Pennyworth kills them!

TheBetterCanary: cheap and lame but fine

Yummmmmm: Seven hundred says we’ll get there in time

TheBetterCanary: lmao alright

Catwomnyan: Exactly 180 on Bruce Wayne finally snapping and going on a rampage.

TheBetterCanary: nice nice id pay to see that

Penguin: The Wayne luck is going to kick in and he’s going to get out without even trying

TheBetterCanary: fuck you you arent allowed to play

TheBetterCanary: wait how much are you betting

Penguin: 1k

TheBetterCanary: welcome to the game

DeadHood: 15 cents says I’ll get to them first and put a bullet in their head.

TheBetterCanary: and i thought ed was cheap but whatever good luck with that

TheBetterCanary: huh

TheBetterCanary: it seems that there was a secret other option where the dumbass apparently follows me and decided to let alfred go

ScareCrane: So… who wins then

TheBetterCanary: me pay up bitches

~

TheBetterCanary: if one more person asks what my body count is i swear they will be added to the number

~

TheBetterCanary: im bored im gonna start gaslighting people about things they already know now

TheBetterCanary: like what are people gonna do if i say im chinese after all these years i can just pull the racism card if they disagree this plan is foolproof

Daylightwing: But you ARE chinese.

TheBetterCanary: of course i am we all know this

~

Supes: I don’t see why Batman has such a hard time defeating the Rogues. Most of them don’t even have powers.

TheBetterCanary: yes we do

Supes: You do? What are they?

TheBetterCanary: being annoying

RiddleMeThis: Being annoying.

ScareCrane: Being annoying

Janus: Being annoying.

Joker: BEING ANNOYING

PoisonIvy: Being annoying 💖

Batman7: @/PoisonIvy You literally have powers.

Catwomnyan: Being annoying.

~

TheBetterCanary: people ask me how im so relaxed around rogues and vigilantes all the time and i just gotta say

TheBetterCanary: first of all bold of you to assume im ever relaxed

TheBetterCanary: second of all all these bitches are like one dropped ice cream away from a mental breakdown i aint scared of them

SpoilerAlert: true 😔

ScareCrane: True…

Yummmmmm: True

Penguin: Hate to agree with Canary, but true

Penguin: What the fuck

Penguin: @/TheBetterCanary did you really just attack me outside an ice cream shop to try and make me drop my ice cream cone

TheBetterCanary: wasnt me but i wish it was that sounds hilarious

Penguin: Bullshit, I saw your face

TheBetterCanary: i dont know what to tell you man maybe youve been thinking about me too much and hallucinated me or something

TheBetterCanary: i already said in the discord server that im stuck inside for the foreseeable future you dumb bitch

DeadHood: Wait a minute… the server is still active? I thought you guys said that you were deleting it because it was compromised…

PoisonIvy: 😬

~

JuliusDay: there’s a discord server? why am i not on it?

TheBetterCanary: its to make sure we dont get caught up in each others attacks no one is scared of you

JuliusDay: i’d still like to know when your attacks will be…

TheBetterCanary: lol

FiendlyFyre: Why am I not on it?

TheBetterCanary: you were dead until like a week ago let me add you back

MadAsAHatter: And me

TheBetterCanary: no

TheBetterCanary: and for the record @/Tweedlesdeeanddum you arent getting in either no one likes you wonderland bitches

Tweedlesdeeanddum: we didn’t even do anything

TheBetterCanary: fuck you

~

TheBetterCanary: i fell for the mark oh my god im a cliche fuck

SignalOfficial: TALON????

TheBetterCanary: yeah the bird mask really does something for me

TheBetterCanary: dumbass

~

TheBetterCanary: my legal team has asked me yet again to tell you guys that nothing i say here is serious and should not be used in a court of law

Yummmmmm: You have a legal team

TheBetterCanary: not really but sometimes ill tweet something incriminating and two face will break into one of my safehouses and yell at the camera

RiddleMeThis: I see we have competition @/Scarecrane.

ScareCrane: … I see… a temporary truce, then

Janus: Please. I don’t want her.

RiddleMeThis: Why not? She’s awesome.

ScareCrane: You’d be lucky to have the right to adopt her

Janus: Somehow I think I’ve made this worse for myself.

Janus: @/TheBetterCanary Help me.

TheBetterCanary: no this is peak entertainment

~

Yummmmmm: Canary is sick, I will ask her to impart some wisdom upon us

TheBetterCanary: nif e

DeadHood: She has spoken.

~

Yummmmmm: Sickness update – Canary is currently very loudly complaining about how red hair isn’t really red so I think she’ll live

~

TheBetterCanary: thought red robin was decent until he told me he thought nightwing and oracle are the best nightwing ship

Yummmmmm: They’re a classic

TheBetterCanary: so was slavery bitch nightwing is way cuter with starfire

Daylightwing: Do I get a say in this?

TheBetterCanary: no fuck off

Yummmmmm: Yeah this ain’t about you

Daylightwing: It literally is?

~

TheBetterCanary: batman and bruce wayne should date so they can combine their hoards of kids

BernieDowd: bold of you to assume that bruce isn’t already batman’s sugar daddy.

TheBetterCanary: youre so right i am so sorry

~

TheBetterCanary: that super relatable moment when you have to dismantle a system that has benefited you for years

BlackBat: :(

TheBetterCanary: at least i get to put calendar man to shame on one of his favorite days

BlackBat: :D

Batman7: What are you planning to do and how?

TheBetterCanary: like id tell you youd just stop me

SpoilerAlert: ten bucks says she’s gonna do a murder

SignalOfficial: Man, I just finished my shift, too

~

TheBetterCanary: Hey guys Im not actually Canary but shes letting me borrow her account to make a fun little announcement anonymously

TheBetterCanary: Ive compiled a list of every Court member in Gotham that @/TheBetterCanary @/107kidsncounting and I knew about along with all of the proof we could gather over a month long period

TheBetterCanary: Here you go shorturl.at/hMW27 enjoy the hitlist everyone

107kidsncounting: im going to kill you i didnt spend hours finding proof for you fuckers just to get fucking rickrolled in fucking 2022

TheBetterCanary: Okay okay sorry mom lmao here’s the actual link shorturl.at/BKOR1

~

Gothamlite: This feels like a trap. Why would Canary hurt the Court when she benefits from corrupt systems?

TheBetterCanary: well you see the thing is i enjoy this thing called being alive

~

TheOneTrueRobin: @/TheBetterCanary, @/RiddleMeThis, @/ScareCrane, and their other evil friend are all laughing maniacally. They will not stop. It has been ten minutes.

107kidsncounting: try hitting one of them

TheOneTrueRobin: They’re laughing harder now.

107kidsncounting: yea lol

TheOneTrueRobin: I should have read the username.

107kidsncounting: probably lmao tell the kids i say hi

TheOneTrueRobin: Fine.

TheOneTrueRobin: They told me to tell you “👍”.

~

TheBetterCanary: hey idiot where are you

TheBetterCanary: I got stabbed lol

TheBetterCanary: oh lol

ScareCrane: This is not a lol matter you two

TheBetterCanary: Lol

TheBetterCanary: lol

TheBetterCanary: also i knew you were still using my account get off you bitch

~

TheBetterCanary: nothing is more painful when you send your friend a meme and they tell you theyve already seen it

DeadHood: You kicked me in the dick less than five hours ago.

TheBetterCanary: it’s what it’s

Daylightwing: The one time you use proper grammar and its for THIS.

SignalOfficial: You are a menace to society

~

DeadHood: Sometimes I think about grabbing Canary by the ankles and flipping her upside down to see how many knives fall out of her clothes.

TheBetterCanary: you could just ask

DeadHood: Would you lie?

TheBetterCanary: i mean sure but youd get further away from the knives you want to know about so badly quicker if youre not actively touching me when i get them out

~

TheBetterCanary: out of gotham for the first time in ages and i hate it it feels weird where is the crime

SpoilerAlert: be the change you want to see in the world

TheBetterCanary: youre so right bestie

TheBetterCanary: alright who snitched to superman

Supes: I thought you were kidding about the cross thing.

~

TheBetterCanary: i sent a lois lane x superman fic to clark kent as an april fools joke and he was super sweet about it and said i had talent as a writer so mr kent if you see this im sorry

~

TheBetterCanary: in this thread i will give absolute proof that the bats and the waynes are the same

TheBetterCanary: bruce and batman both have an ungodly amount of kids like bruce even managed to find another kid despite all of the orphanages getting bombed this year thats some devotion

TheBetterCanary: richard and nightwing are both traitors that moved to bludhaven enough said

*Liked by Daylightwing*

TheBetterCanary: barbara gordon is oracle because they both scare me

TheBetterCanary: i will not joke about the death of jason todd his passing was a tragedy that still affects gotham to this day

TheBetterCanary: tason jodd however is totally red hood i mean who else could be that dorito shaped

TheBetterCanary: cassandra and black bat could both beat my ass and i would thank them

TheBetterCanary: timothy and red robin both have a sickly victorian boy vibe to them

TheBetterCanary: stephanie and spoiler both appreciate riddler and i can appreciate that

TheBetterCanary: duke and signal are both the token and the best of all of their families

TheBetterCanary: damian and robin both have way too many fucking pets like they could work together and form a zoo and i dont think anything would even be missing

TheBetterCanary: honorary mention to the butts match of course

~

TheBetterCanary: fuck i forgot that it was eds turn to cook

TheBetterCanary: @/ScareCrane please bring some mcdonalds home please

RiddleMeThis: When I found you, you regularly went dumpster diving for food.

TheBetterCanary: doesnt mean i dont have standards

~

RiddleMeThis: @/ScareCrane Remember when @/TheBetterCanary heard someone yell about how “she has a strap!” and complained about how they shouldn’t “have that stuff out in public”, only to turn around and realize it was a gun?

TheBetterCanary: im still not sorry for implying your food is worse than literal trash

~

Canaryfanclub: please i just want her to date me

TheBetterCanary: sorry i dont know if my boyfriend would like that

Canaryfanclub: YOU HAVE A BOYFRIEND??????

TheBetterCanary: unfortunately his swagless charm has captivated me

~

TheBetterCanary: fuck the stupid fucking bats infected me with their even stupider fucking morals oh my god

DeadHood: Weak. I’ve been resisting for years. It took you, what, a couple of months around them to fall for their morals?

TheBetterCanary: im going to blow up your base

DeadHood: In Minecraft or in real life?

DeadHood: Fuck. It was Minecraft.

DeadHood: I spent hours making that mansion!

TheBetterCanary: trust me i know

~

TheBetterCanary: @/BrucieWayne i have your kids

BrucieWayne: What do you want for them?

TheBetterCanary: donate half a billion to arkham reforms

BrucieWayne: Oh no. I have no choice but to meet her demands.

~

TheBetterCanary: vigilantes dont want you to know this but muscles actually dont constantly look like that unless youre constantly flexing and they definitely dont show through layers of kevlar

TheBetterCanary: which means that they choose to have abs on their costumes

TheBetterCanary: i can hear the fangirls crying from here

~

TheBetterCanary: lol

Yummmmmm: Oh god what did you do

TheBetterCanary: dont worry about it

Batman7: Where is Joker?

TheBetterCanary: he tripped and fell into a pocket dimension and i cant get him out but dont worry i got him one of those gerbil water feeders and some chips so hell live

Batman7: That doesn’t sound like an accident.

TheBetterCanary: never said it was one

~~~~~

(Back to Canary Masterlist)

[thefinalvoid]

Revolutionary girl utena ep 2 liveblog under the cut. Utena you need a lust for murder imo

I love how utena fulfills the “hottest boy at school” archetype. Like it's a little over the top but it gets a pass for being. Revolutionary. hehehe :)

Okay utena. What are you going to say to wakaba. Theres a lot that needs to be said here

utena. I would no start off with cheerfully pointing out what wakaba is doing differently

Oh ok wakaba is okay. I would kill for her. Wakaba tell me who you want me to kill. (I dont know if she is truely okay or just pretending, i dont have a solid grasp on how much of a side character she is, but i hope there is some pain in her heart, because that means she is being treated justly by the narrative)

Wakaba i dont know whats going to happen to youuu you are obesseing over utena saying that you belong to utena, then enters Himemiya who i think literally does belong to utena.( Yeah theyre making commentary on marriage and women being treated as objects. Wakaba, you can belong to yourself! Take charge of your life and KILL ALL WHO OPPOSE YOU!!)

Hello shadow people. Please do not kill the world? That would mega suck.

I honestly love how the student council's main concern is not that Himemiya is engaged to a girl. It's that Utena is not part of the student council. They really said i can excuse being a lesbian but i draw the line at the undeserving rising the ranks.

Hold on. “What will you do, drop out of the game?” That feels like it has a double meaning yes they are playing a game literally, but this could refer to the larger game, the game of revolution (??) Aka the larger situation at hand

Joker card.

Whats up with timer boy. I dont trust that timer.

“To think that Best Friends liek us got assaigned to seperate rooms” is that what the original japanese said. Be honest subbers. Like actually because i think a lot of what Wakaba is saying is relevant to the subtle messaging Of the show and having words changed can mess with that. Like if she really is saying best friends i want to be sure of that, but if she said something with more romantic implications i would very much like to know that.

“Getting a single is perfect for a gal like me” Utena i think you are rooming with Himemiya. They just didnt tell you.

Holy fuck thats hilarious. Her room is literally falling apart. Lmao. The rest of the building is fine except her room

Oh it was a thought. Okay her room is going to be fine lol

HA I WAS RIGHT. Utena and Himemiya are roomates. Get amd they were roomates-ed.

“Funny coincidence us being roomates” you are the only two people in this whole building and Himemiya's named was hand written under yours it could not be less of a coincidence

I was right it was on purpose.

Also they keep calling this a middle school but no one here looks under 16. What is classified as middle school in japan? Looked it up they are 12-15? I mean it could be worse i think the angular faces are throwing me off. Madoka magica had super round faces as does more modern anime's, sharp faces tend to be reserved for people in their 20s-30s

Utena: “whats with the castle and the sword” Himemiya “i dont know” maybe she does know but shes not saying shit. Her job is lamp sword.

Oh shit my apologies Himemiya. But uh. Be honest did you *really* like being engaged to saionji? What do you get out of being the rose bride. Are you lying?

Thats a fucking. Mouse monkey? What. he is dying.

Utena: “please stop being so formal its freaking me out” Himemiya: “no <3 this is my job”

Utena i dont think you have a choice in dueling.

dont do a goddamn think saionji. Ill fucking kill you.

You keep an exchange diary?

Chu chu said its murder time

Horoscope spotted. Obligatory Homestuck mention. Moving on. Ill fucking kill you saionji

Holy fuck saionji. Get some cognitive behavioral therapy you idiot

CHU CHU SAID ITS MURDER TIME

Hes so comically evil. How did he get this far in school. How does anyone like him. Id Kill him. Utena show him no mercy stab his stupid heart

UTENA. DO NOT LOSE ON PURPOSE. HIMEMIYA WILL GET ABUSED AGAIN.

God Himemiya looked so dead inside responding to utena deciding to lose on purpose

Lmao wild west horseback gun duel? I hope this is foreshadowing saionji's death tbh

Oh lmao its a reference to spaghetti westerns

“Losing may be harder than you think” ??? Lmao is she going to win by accident.

God these shadow girls 100% inspired the uwasa girls of magia record

Utena do Not let Himemiya die

Lmao utena has the soul of rose or something and is instinctually taking her place in the world. She cannot lose.

Oh shit she summoned… a guy? And they fused?? I think?

OH FUCK SHE BROKE SAIONJI'S SWORD!! THATS SYMBOLIC FOR DESTROYING HIS DICK MASCULINITY

Utena you didnt do that shit for anyone. You barely did it yourself. I would have done it because i hate saionji. And i would have killed him.

Himemiya's like “fuck i thought you actually cared about me. Wheres the romance. I signed up to be romanced”

Nvm she smiled idk i would be pissed personally. I think Himemiya trusts that utena isnt a dick.

[ne-spivay-ranenko]

Jukebox January: Day 1

So I saw this prompt game from @esskuesli and considering that one of my favorite things to do in the world is gush about music, I thought it'd be fun to do it! I have a feeling that this is going to heavily lean on artists I listen to a lot and know their entire back catalog, but I want to share music that's really me.

Day 1 is songs starting with A. Let's go!

Aijā - Sudden Lights

The song that Europe did dirty. I need to drag everyone who didn't vote for it in front of sad Andrejs and tell them to apologize. I love, love, love how when you listen to Sudden Lights you can tell they started in music school together, because the 5/4 to 6/4 transition in this song is everything. 5/4 is a fave time signature of mine because it's got this unsettling feeling, you can make it feel like you skipped a beat or added one, while any time signature in 3 has this gentle, rocking feeling to it. So switching from the verses where he's singing about how he doesn't believe in the beautiful world anymore, to the chorus where he's telling you not to cry, and then the lullaby-inspired ending--this song is so good from so many perspectives. Go listen to Sudden Lights. Do it. Now.

A sem ti povedal - Joker Out

The buildup of this song is so good, one of my favorite things in the whole world is songs that start out minimal and build to a big ending. I love this one because it doesn't have the drop between verses and chorus, it keeps building through the song, starting with just guitar and then adding in the whole band and then adding more and more layers of guitar and then finally another layer of vocals, so good in every way! Plus I love the little bit of Spanish guitar in it, as someone who had a brief phase of trying to be a classical guitarist as a teenager.

Absinthe - I DONT KNOW HOW BUT THEY FOUND ME

Every iDKHOW song has such a fucking good groove and I think this is exactly what you get when your frontman (and only man, now, I guess) is a bassist. Why this one specifically? It's not the point of the song, I know, but as someone who was really, really into Les Mis as a teen, I love a good mention of absinthe.

Anna Sun - Walk the Moon

This one's here, of course, because it's about me. 😉 I actually love the lyrics even if they didn't mention my name: "We got no money but we got heart/We're gonna rattle this ghost town" is such a lovely line!

Always You - Depeche Mode

This one's from their newest album, which is such a melancholy yet beautiful album, some very dark moments (the album has a lot about the pandemic, war, and death of Andy Fletcher) and yet these moments of love and hope, and this one is all about that love. Depeche Mode are the absolute best at creating this all-encompassing atmosphere with their music, the emotions are layered into every note, and so I feel it in my heart that "There's always you/The light that leads me from the darkness", which is especially powerful coming after People Are Good if you listen to the album in order (I love to listen to albums in the order intended, because there's artistic intention to that too).

For some reason A is a really hard letter, but B... let's just say tomorrow will be a whole bunch of my absolute favorites of all time. Like, it'll probably get so long I have to put it under a cut. (I don't have an explanation for this.)

[unhingedkinfessions]

Day #1 of sending daily kinfessions to @unhingedkinfessions as if they were my diary until they get tired of me

Date: Tuesday, February 6th, 2024

Theme of today's kinfession: Am i Matt Murdock?

Dear diary @unhingedkinfessions

I've been thinking that i might be Matt Murdock, having strong kin feels and some stuff that might be memories, i've also been watching Daredevil (of course), but honestly I still don't understand how the process of kinsidering has to be? I usually just go ahead and go crazy and just kinfirm straight ahead the characters i slightly feel like they fit, sometimes I'll do some pendulum questions but, do i have to do something else? I honestly don't know, i want to be serious with this one kin, i don't know why. I've also been thinking of re-kinsidering all of my fictotypes, doing some more thinking and doing it "properly". I've had past kins that were strong, some of them have changed over time, some i found other words to describe them, i also want to make a lot of soul searching (i don't even know how that's done but whatever, i'll find out). Anyways, that's all for today i think, have a nice day mods and wish me luck because my kinlist is lowkey long.

Sincerely: daily anon

Questions of the day for the mods (so they don't get tired of me for now)

Do you guys like mac&cheese? How much cheese could you add to the mac&cheese?

How much ranch is the correct ranch for a veggie salad?

hi daily anon. love the energy from this ask. idk kinsidering is extremely personal sometimes u just Know and sometimes it just has to cook in the oven for a while yk? it happens. also i love mac&cheese. havent made it in a while but honestly i love putting Way too much cheese on stuff so. A Lot. also i hate vegetables i wouldnt know abt salads -mod joker

hey daily anon. youve already failed cause this is a few days old at this point with no follow up. i make mac basically daily at this point theres more cheese in my body than blood. the correct question is how much cheese *can* you possibly fit in there. a fucking looney tunes amount. a downright roger rabbit amount. just keep it consistent and season well. none of that kraft shit. also veggie salad is something i havent had but probably the amount youd put on a normal salad yeah -mod dave

hi daily anon :) i love maccy chease. usually i just have like prepackaged or box made kind unless i'm getting it from somewhere but on the occasion i make it myself, ideally it's as much cheese as possible. and as many kinds. also baked maccy cheese is the best. put breadcrumbs and bacon and even more cheese on that bitch and pop it in the oven? soo good. also i dont eat ranch or any kind of salad dressing so none. -mod bender

this ask rules ok? and yea i get wanting to like . reconsider. i did that sorta recently, it takes a little thinking and reflecting but in the end it did feel nice to have a list of like, yeah, i Know that’s me and i didn’t force the vibes or say it halfheartedly etc this time. also you want so much cheese but you have to pick well . can’t 100% mozzarella it or something, you need a blend for good flavor and meltability. also i dont like ranch so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ —mod pikmin

hi anon, this ask is so cool. the others already covered it but i personally think that there’s no “proper” way to kin and it varies person to person :3 just do whatever feels right to you! sometimes you just know right away you kin and other times it takes the stars aligning in one really specific way to unlock the kin. as for the questions: i’m unfortunately a super picky eater so there’s not a lot of variety in foods i can handle </3 i don’t like salads generally and unless the mac is made in one really specific way chances are i won’t like it. - mod akechi

hey anon you left your grilled cheese on the stove it's burnt to hell and back please for the love of god come back and get it. anyways that's so real and it can definitely feel weird "losing connection" to certain kins or even realizing some weren't really true kin but it's ok. keep on cheesin. - mod navi

[kanouseis]

Top 5 Kamen Riders! (adaptations included)

okay so im gonna do this both ways as in favorite riders the shows and favorite riders the characters

for shows:

1. kamen rider w (wbk, my forever beloved, i dont think this will stop being my favorite soon. the fucking detective show. DUB E X crime and the city. fucking found family. hidari shotaro MY GUY. so much insanity just look at my header on here. phillip :')))) i have so many feelings and im forcing myself to stop here. ryu voice Dont Ask Me Questions.)

2. kamen rider ex aid (my first rider and yknow you dont forget your first rider. the gamer doctors are my beloved. the suits are so cool (taddle legacy!!!) kiriya is here AND HANAYA TAIGA. WHY IS HE LIKE THIS. taihii the most insane ship dynamic ever. POPPY MY BELOVED <33333 the character songs are So Good. i like real game and the taddle legacy theme a normal amount. EXCITE EXCITE ALL I GOTTA DO IS LIVE ON)

3. kamen rider ghost (big part of this is takeru which ill get to later. but goood theres so much good in this show. warera omou yue ni warera ari!!!! its literally so fun. and the messages are so good!!! life is beautiful and i never want to die. makoala and takekari marriages happened and nothing else is canon. THE BELT NOISE THE BELT NOISES. mugen ghost is my fav final form ever. that one henshin scene from the summer movie kills me. keep going go go go go go go gotta ghost!!!!!)

4. everything else ive watched so ooo and revice (ooo: i need to rewatch this one actually bc it made me feel so much but then i watched w next so yeah. ANKHEIJI LEGENDARY GAY OF ALL TIME. i love all the characters so so so fucking much but especially eiji this fucking guy. the greeed my beloved... the insert songs!!! so many times you can find me singing SONO SHUNKAN NOMIKOMARERU DAAKU SAIDO NO KIKEN NA YOUKUBO. so yeah you count the medals one two and three anything goes life goes on coming up ooo :')) (revice: free theraphy show fr fr. like just good vibes all around. loved this one so much. there is tragedy but we prevail. the music is fucking amazing i have listened to mirage mirror 73 times within a single month of discovering it. the suits!!! daiji and ikki and sakura the siblings ever. hana makes me emotional and also hanasaku oh my god heated drama between women. deep drop danger kamen rider demons INSANE belt noises in general. THE THEMES IN THIS SHOW YES I WILL LOVE MYSELF.)

and im not ranking gaim & gotchard since i havent finished them

now for rider characters:

1. shotaro/kamen rider w & kamen rider joker (the fucking guy ever. god. i like him so much its a little distressing. hes my best friend. i want to dress like him sort of unironically. i am feverishly waiting for my joker memory to arrive. HIS BACKSTORY MAKES ME SO SAD. LIKE I CAN EMPATHISE. SO MUCH. and his dynamic with phillip akiko ryu i :'))) the found family ever. yeah. i often rewatch w ep49 just for the joker scenes. i have his birthday as per my headcanon in my calendar. i am not normal)

2. taiga/kamen rider snipe (so. hes my type of character so fucking much. broken sad lonely fucker of a guy. i want to kill i also want to hug him and i want to make him kiss hiiro. saving people to save yourself,,,,, yeah. NICO TAIGA THE SIBLINGS EVER. babang bang bang babang bang shooting uh. his fucking emo fringe neon suit. the dog tags he wears for no reason. THE SNIPE PREQUELLLLL im gonna stop here before it derails but oh my fucking lord)

3. takeru/kamen rider ghost (YEAH SO. tied for my fav main rider with eiji. takeru is incredibly important to me if he werent the same age as my brother id call him son but alas. i want a hug from him i think it would fix me. his fucking journey as a character..... he makes me sad but like happy sad. like i appreciate life more when im sad about him. his scenes in the pacman movie literally kill me. you always gotta keep going chasing after life its the only way you can live. go go go ghost [i start crying uncontrollably])

4. daiji/kamen rider live (bonded with this guy 6 episodes into revice its insane. this character is insane. i need to hug him. his fucking character song is therapy for me. KAGERO YOU FUCKING EMO EBOY. daijis vcinema is so good and i felt so much. i love the evililtylive suit despite the stupid name. i just love daiji in general and i dont ever think about how his actor is the same age as me <3)

5. eiji/kamen rider ooo (MY GUY MY GUY MY GUUUUUUY. i need to give him a hug. hes been through so much. but he still. he still is Like this. like what the fuck genuinely. the scene from ep30 is in my head constantly. tied for my fav main rider with takeru bc god does eiji make me feel things. but this is so fucking long already if you need to hear me cry about him send me an ask bc. ohmygod. HINO FUCKING EIJI. i dont Ever think about him in zi-o. and ooo 10th is not real)

[the-official-account]

I HAVE BEEN INFORMED THERE'S A NEW EPISODE HERE'S 26 LIVEBLOG BABEEEEYYYY

my podcatcher is cool and great and open source and ad free and all that shit but I haven't set up my notifications good and because this is my first episode as they come out (my inner fanatic is all grown up) im not used to the schedule but HHHASD;LPIG AHIP'LSF AG THE WAY I SCREEEEEAMED AND ACTUALLY DANCED FOR JOY HERE WE GO!!!!!

oh opening music my beloved. Oh shit I got so obsessed with Blorbos I briefly forgot exactly where we are in the story. Coping mechanism (slash joking slash lighthearted) im 👀👀👀👀 very hyped bery concerned

"you need to be making eye contact to be frozen" means it's vry easy to free spar!!! ahhh so they somehow duplicated the pendants....or found more??

BACKUP THINGS 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀 IM ON DESKTOP AND I CAN ONLY HAVE ONE EMOJI COPIED TO MY CLIPBOARD AT AT TIME ASJKDLHFASDFH

also the title of this episode is making me excited

Ila's stress about spar's condition is such a mood

THIS TELEKENISIS NECKLACE THING IS SO BANGER.

ooh. oof. this drive. CRIT?????? NICE FUCK. WHEW.

SUUCESSED THE FUCK OUTA THAT.

Voracity fucking sucks sorry about your lineage bestie i do hope you die though

SPAR BALANCED HALWAYD ON A CATWALK, FROZEN, SNUGGLED UP TO AN AWFUL AWFUL VAMPIRIC ASSHOLE UHHHH

......that joker.

OH I FORGOT VELLUM CAN TELEPORT FOR A SEC with the power of looking INCREDIBLY sexy. I like this plan I'm feeling good about this plan

Jordan's clearly plotting some shit and i am HERE for it

"normally you are not conscious during it" NORMALLY???

Spar depersonalization crash course. OH WAIT NO SPAR STEVEN UNIVERSE MOMENTS. IM OBSESSED????

viscious spar.....hmmm......im making a face it's not a great face LASDFALHFAHS

I love that spar's first thing is to just get the gist of what he's got going on <3 LJSADFLKJAHSDJFKHASD HE GOES TO VELLUM A;LKSDFLJSHDFLJSADGFLJSHADFKAHSDFKLASDF SCOOBY DOO ASS LOVE BIRDS

Oh shit is Vellum gonna think spar is fucking dead???? VORACITY GOES TOPPLING WHICH IS HILARIOUS BUT SPAR TOO??????? HOLY SHIT????? LMAO????

we are thirteen minutes in.

IF YOU DIE IN YOUR BODY YOU DIE IN REAL LIFE ALKSDJF;LAKSDJFASKLD;FJALSDFJ

Essay protesting Voracity's stats is such a mood. What if...what if ya jus didn???

As spooky as this whole situation is, the mental image of spar having royallllly biffed it is sending me

Okay when I was very young, I used to play chess with a younger sibling of mine. And I did this thing where I would just take one rook and systematically go around capturing all their pawns because they didn't know how to protect them, while just kinda giggling. And that's the energy ipswitch is bringing right now, tkaing out all their backup.

EIGHT FUCKING CARDS

AD;ISFLG;ALKDSGASLDFK RING TOSS SITIONATION wasn't jakub with ipswitch? or going to him? and yeahhhh lunevella is an important ally.

Diamond? friend? mmmmmmmmmmmmnahhhh

YEAH LUNAVELLA!!!! MASSIVE WITCH LADY COME IN CLUTCH!

nooo fuck PLEASE dont make it diamond please please please LUNEVELLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA lesbiamb...YEAS

I forget what beloved does but mechanical nonsense is my favorite

NO SUCESSES ONE JOKER there are not emojis on this computer that describe...you know that one image of the hot cook guy from Queer eye looking traumatized? that.

"I'm having fun being a useless ghost boy" VALID i am also having fun. sometimes in a ttrpg you just wanna be/add to the problem for a bit!!! And that's ok

Voracity being pissed about being launched off the catwalk is SO Funny.

"so I could accomplish my goal without violence" BITCH YOU THREATENED TO MURDER SEVREAL-----FJHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

NO NO NO VORACITY ISNT ALLOWED TO CRIT LEAVE VELLUM ALOOOOOOOONE!!!!!!!!!

oh shit but vellum's turn now.......kick them back off!!!!!! asjdhfakjsdhfasdkflakdhf

TAEKWONDO!! switching instantly for a drive does seem like a good balance I like that mechanic

god I love my gay rule-abiding detectives who for some reason keep trying to fight the ONE being that EVERY rule is like don't fucking fight for the love of god do not fight them for the LOVE OF

"I imagine that vellum gets a cat stance, which is like an L stance" i know there is more informaiton here but my brain has already shifted into the "someone i know is talking about something they love and i understand very little of what's happening here but I'm just excited to listen" mode. But no i do need to know what cat stance is because this is so art in my brain. ill look it up later.

im so *chinhands*

OOOOOH BUT THIS DESCRIPTION IS SO GOOD i CAN SEE IT IN MY BRAIN SO WELL OOOOHAS;DFHKLASEHFASKDFHA VELLUM IS SO COOL

there are no ascii emojis for doing a silly stupid little happy stim but that's what's happening

oh shit luna can fly!

Lune deserves to be condescending to her enemies, she's dealt with so much bullshit.

Ooof we have the AA and now the bramble guard with MOTORCYCLES????? ugh!!! organizations!!!!! Lore!!!!!!!! im swooning. there is nothing sexier in my mind that good worldbuilding

tatiana related plans but not htis episode 👀👀👀👀👀👀👀????

yeah lmao fuck diamond.

okay but in my brain Desdemona was suuuuuuper pretty. Oh no!!! Don't make her endearing!!!!!!!

(sweetly) "So uhhh, people of cindershore as you can see....we have the people of theee passion fruit festival held hostage <3"

THEY WANTED TO DO THIS NON VIOLENTLY god fuck i hate fucking misinformation goddamn.

"side with crystallis of againse you own wellbeing" bestie how is that fucking nonviolent?????

"get your gummy jello fingies in here" hello i am uncomfortablleeee AHSDL;FHASDFHADJSFLHAKDSFJH

TERRORIST TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES

I like to imagine that Kit's comments was ipswitch being genuinely helpful

oh god. there was a SPLIT second moment when my entirely world lit up with the GLEE that was Voracity biffing it off the catwalk again.

vellum pulls them...up? NOOO I MEAN THATS SMART BUT AHHHHH IM STAKING THE PROTAGONISTS LIKE A MIRACA (how the FUCK do you spell this im pretty sure i knew that) STOP PUTTING YOURSELF IN HARMS WAY AHHHHHHHHHH

i swear to GOD the host have an uncanny ability to say the joke i was thinking and I think we've just all got the same internet brain rot. my FIRST thought here was "None successes? left beef." and there we go. no funny left for the rest of us.

oooh what's jakub up to

WITCH TIME WITCH TIME WITCH TIME

"leave diamond where they are" you know, cause fuck em.

LUNA VELLA COMING IN FRIGGGGGING CLUTCH.

"Lunavella casts a spell that was taught to her by tara. Lunavella later taught it to jasper, who used it to talk to a god at a very crucial time"

the VOLUME at which i just sais "HUH?????" is IMMENSE.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN??? HELLP???? NO DONT MOVE ON HELLO??? HI! hIS I HAVE QUESTIONS?

Did jasper do the untethering???? Did jasper PERSONALLY speak to mommy magic???? Is that was Tara did to sacrifice her connection to magic for Merim & Josepha's freedom????? what...what does this mean....

SHE'S TALKING TO KRONOSAVA SHE CALLED THIS RELIC'S FUCKING PARENT. SHE SAID SHE'S GOING TO THE MANAGER. AJSHDFAJSHDFLKAJSHDF

An animatronic giant....HMMMMMM

okay but what is the triple threat if not just a small, minimalist mech suit?

"oh i do like information" "I know!!! Me to!!!" Oh my god they're suchhhh fucking nerds i fucking love them HASKLDJHFASDHFAKDJLFH GET ME TO A CLOSET.

AND JAKUB BLUSHES. AND OF COURSE IPSWITCH DOESN'T NOTICE CAUSE ITS IPSWITCH. THIS IS CUTE AS FUCK

I WANNA TRY TO POSSESS VORACITY Spar has been a ghost for like 2 minutes, and he was already like "When in rome!!!"

Kronosava manifests as a NINE FOOT TALL CLOCKWORK PERSON WITH MANY CLOCK FACES OF IMPOSSIBLE GEOMETRY????? COOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLL FUCKING RAD RAD RAD

Spar's ALONE with the TIME GOD al;jsdflkasdjfasdjlf

he did NOT just introduce himself....holllly shit lmaooo. "those who may be frozen by my eye are unworthy by my sight" oh so Spar is like. Time daddy's favorite blorbo. This makes sense to me. or maybe somewhat.

KRONOS SAY YALL KINDA SUCK SO I MADE YA DIE, CAUSE FUCK EM

Spar is NOT fucking out logicing this GOD im So here for this. fuck em up bestie FUCK EM UP!!!!!!

imagine your last name being considered by the GOD OF TIME now that's what I call clout.

"relative innocence" yeahhhhh. peace and lvoe on the planet earth, but emphasis on "on the planet earth"

Mayor lipton is the mayor of cindershore.

Okay I understanbd this scene im loving the vibes but MERIM FELSPAR THE SECOND IS NOOOOOTTTTT THE JUSTICE SYSTEM MR. TIME DADDY!!! He can't awnser for the crime and bigroties of Extra #8 and 13

YOU MAKE A GODDEX CHUCKLE that line will be living in my brain as something that can be so symbolism

I....I...I don't like this. wow i HATE how fast spar just traded off year of his fucking life span noooooo. fuck. fuck. fuckity fuck fuck fuck im in distress. ughhhhhh spar being spar.......I will have thoughts but first I need to sigh a lot ......Ugh.

but also fuck the gods im not vibing with this barter situation. is it good for the plot YES is deicide always an aspiration of mine also yes

"it feels like licking a battery with your hand' oooh mental sensory imaginings not good but very very cool

Like sourpatch kids watermelon flavor colorscheme.

*sadly, with hesitation* midtro dance midtro dance....

guhhhh spar....Spar why. Like I understand the choice but that was SO fast. HE DIDNT THINK ABOUT IT AND THAT'S WHAT I --UGHHHHHH

happy late birthday to essay!

ESSAY PLEASE STOP ASTRALLY PROJECTING PLACES ALSDFL;ASHFDLASHDFLKASF

Spar is a snacker and habituatally hands people snacks to keep them sustained.

God yall are just begging for me to write a communion (slash literary term related to chrstian, not christian practice itself. for as much as i say the words lord and god i like barely know who jesus is) fic....soon my toils will be over and my backlog will sing so my like the sirens lulling me away from an approaching storm, so instead my hyperfixation can crash violently upon the rocks and. it. will. be. GLORIOUS.

VELLUM WON A LEETLE KEETY <3<3<3

KIT CAME OUT SWINGING WITH THIS????? ....HUH????? BESTLJHAS;DIFHASDHFASJDFALKDSFKJASF. KIT SAID "IPSWITCH LOOKS AT SOME GAY SHIT END OF SENTENCE" IM DEAD. Im just imaginging Jakub looking at the performers, and at ipswitch, and at the performers, and in his head he's like "why does he look contemplative?"

Xbala, hilde, grey, anya play shoots and ladders at the safe house while knowing Spar, Vellum, ip, Jakub, and Luna are risking their lives fighitng voracity....that was me typing for speed but "Ip" as a nickname is really cute imo.

*much more enthusiatic end of midtro dance*

ILA I DON'T THINK THAT'S GOOD NEWS. DODGE IS ONE. AH. OH NO. HHHHH.

i made i sound like ID been bitten. Voracity. Rancid bestie, what if we like....didnt...

LIASDFASDJFASDF VELLUM'S BLOOD TASTES WIERD?????

*A deep sigh as I realize by having Beloved as a ultimate Vellum is, in fact, another self-sacrificial blorbo for the lot.*

Oh fuck he's so determined and valliant but i want him to STOP.

People should be reinvigorating and spar should be around soon??? im....spoooked. I know being unconcious isn't the end of the world though....

I think some of the gumw as given to Anya and may not have ever been returned? Which i only mention as a brief note for efforts and because these eps are recorded long ahead of time: i aint a snitch

spar to the recsue <3 <3 <3 king I'm imagining spar like Baseball-sliding in, swinging the sword like he's going to a home run, in slow motion. It's VERY cool.

SPAR IS AJUDSHLKJSAHGFKLJSADFGHAS THIS IS FO FUNNY I FUCKING LOVE THIS.

OHHHHH JUST ONE SHORT.

OH. OH SHIT. OH. PLEASE FLIP GOOD OH MY GOD. ID WOULD BE SCREAMING BUT IF I START SCREAMING i CAN'T HEAR.

AHHHHH;LFRGHA jumped so hard I pulled my chair up off the floor and keysmashed irrespocibly enough to put my compter to sleep. I'm SO normal.

The Animaation of this that exists in my brain through. Vellum gets bitten and Voracity reals back enough for you to see, between their faces, spar sprinting towards them reaching for his sword. The Camera whips to a side angle for spar's baseball swing. Slice! Spray of blood as vellum gets up a bit. Shot from below spar's chin to show his determined face and the long line of his arm and Bang! Bang! They all drop until his gun clicks empty. As there's a zoom in on the bat going for the window. One last bang and as Spar looks down the Camera does too, to show Vellym propped up on one arm holding His derringer high for a beat before his arms fall when he slumps in relief and he just smiles as ash rains down around them. Spar falls to his knees, and vellum slides over to kiss him...augh. AUGH!

Spar with a subtle scar over his hear that after 26 is raised and more obvious. For you know. Eventual shiftless art that WILL happen

Oh shit Jakub's getting a fucking promotion, huh?

LKJUAHSFGKJAHSKDFAHSDFKLASD IPSWITCH FINDS TERRORISM TAX FRAUD EVIDENCE I LOOOVE THAT FOR HIM OH MY GODDD <3.

Okay but Jakub being attracted to that is SO dorky and i love them and they're such sillyy guyssss. IPSWITH STARTLES.

"i have one more thing to end on!" [the episode has twnety minutes left]

Governor thorn middle ages. violet haired. carries a spear. CLEARLY need to pack her ass up and fuck off before she messes with Hilde, Anya, Grey and Xbala. I was only gonna mention my favoirites out of that grpup but not yeah they're all good. So throne need to like. go. I don't trust this.

"What's this about? how do you know where this is?" GOOD QUESTIONS.

FUCK. OFF. UNDER ARREST FOR WHAT. BITCH?

NO. NO. YOU DONT GET TO FUCKING END CREDITS MUSIC AFTER THAT FUCK YOU. FUCK OFF. WHAT. WHAT?

What.

i HEARD KEVIN AND I ACTUALLY GASPED. ITS MY FAVORITE CRINGEFAIL KING!!!!

CATBOY ASCE!!!!!!

OH WAIT im realizing....If SUITS has been abolished that Spar did retire after all, huh? Huh. Good for not having to report info about clovenheart. BAD news for whatever the fuck is happening to jack. Interesting news for Vellum's blood theirvery theories. And damn, I just sort of assumed Mayor Thorne was just like...Good Guy(TM) until....well until chapter 3 of tempest and teapots yesterday. God i love stories where things only get bigger. crunchy as hell.

THEY HAVE TO BOTH WEAR HIS CLOTHES STACKED ASJLDFALSDJFADF

I'm in love with Asce's himbo ass, he should NOT be enabling this and YET.

Iris has jury duty and then she's getting a massage and then she's going to therapy and then doing her therapy homework: considering new employment.

DOES CASEDYWM FUCKING STICK THEM IN HIS ACTUAL POCKET??????? OH NO.

ARE THEY JUST GONNA KEEP THE PIXIES IN HIS POCKET THE WHOLE TIME?

"I just need to know whose on top and whose...whose...whose the legs" Ah, when nature denies us our low hanging fruit

oh god I hope asce is left handed because otherwise Caedyn';s hand is occupied and Asce only has access to his non dominant hand

SDLFASDFAJSDFLASDF "I DONT KNOW HOW IT HELPS BIT I WANT IT"

"IS CADEWYN'S noSE PIECED" "IT IS NOW"

ASDKJFA;LSDJFASDF FUCK

added together they look like a great mintaur, yeah!! If someone shakes their head back and forth very fast

peer pressure confusion...sweet jesus.

JSADLFJALKDSFJAS just look abnormnal and blend in!!! This stratedgy would work in many of my social circles to be fair.

Not CALHOUN (just finished reading the 1619 project, that's the last name of the probably most cartoonishly evil & racist person in that entire book. Which, if anything, makes this mor funny for me

HE GIVES CADEWYN MORE ALCOHOL. NOOOO LMAOOOOOO

A BRILLIANT TACTICAL PLAY YOU'RE NOT HIGH LEVEL ENOUGH TO GET FULL DETAILS ON.

I was gonna make a joke about xbala getting arrested in the background but then it hit me: anya is a defense lawyer. A defense lawywer who already fucking hates Thorn. A defense lawyer who already hates thorn who has made up with spar and befriended Xbala and in all likelyhood has the support of the Harrington's behind her. She might. She might fuck it up. Take no prisoners, but like, the opposite way that's usually meant. still just as fuckign rad tho. my brain is turning. rotating like a microwave plate. mmmmmmmmm.

That scene was so funny though. cherry on top of a wonderful episode. i have...i have things to consider.

@threeheartscast @citrusandsalt @ilaalexei

[hyvee]

Here’s my one piece playlist and yeah i’m going to explain each song below bc im on a road trip with nothing else to do

Dont Carry It All - pretty self explanatory i think… friendship and love forever ❤️❤️❤️

Feel Us Shaking - god it’s perfect. I love this song and it is literally abt one piece TO ME. Also maybe Ace specifically… (cries)

Stuck In The Middle With You - luffy and law’s friendship LMAO… specifically “clowns to the left of me jokers to the right” ….. caesar and doffy LOL

INDUSTRY BABY - desperately need to make an AMV. I can see it in my brain and it’s epic.

The Call - also self explanatory i think… maybe an emphasis on luffy and namis friendship… but also just in general very one piece coded to me.

What A Fool Believes - idk this might be a stretch but i like to thibk it’s abt sanji being manipulated by women LMAO? Anyway

Dreams - i mean.

Can’t Find My Way Home - About Zoro LOL. Drunk and lost. Maybe loosely zolu but to b clear Luffy is ace to me but i can see him and zoro only ever truly needing each other and spending the rest of their lives together so yeah.

Everybody’s Talking - about luffy 🥹❤️ soooo about luffy it’s HIS SONG to me.

Dancing In The Moonlight - one piece coded in general but specifically that Skypiea party ✨

Long Train Runnin - i think Franky would love this song. I want to show the straw hats the Doobie Brothers i think they would like them LMAO….WITHOUT LOVE….. WHERE WOULD U BE RIGHT NOW?

Listen To The Music - i wish the straw hats were real so I could listen to the doobie brothers with them.. WHAT THE PEOPLE NEED IS A WAY TO MAKE EM SMILE… AINT SO HARD TO DO WITH U AROUND! LISTEN TO RHE MUSIC! 😁😁

Kind And Generous - so many ppl r so grateful to luffy and crew. Do you understand. Rebecca would sing this to them

Aint Nobody Straight In LA - idk LMAO shits and giggles … Ivankov and Bon Chan would get down to this

Under The Milky Way - finding the one piece…!!! Also i think zoro would like this song

Heat Lightning - epic song for epic show.. also emphasis on Roger’s story… and Oden. And Wano in general too …. Idk a stretch maybe

Ghost Ship - just straight vibes , a lazy day on the sunny just chilling and having fun etc. I feel like Brook would especially like this song

Black Smoke Rising - very one piece in general but specifically Arabasta

City Of Angels - Can i say something. This is Zoro’s song to me and specifically he is singing it… i like to imagine he’s singing it. (horny)

Remember Summer Days - VIBES… HAPPINESS… also i think Robin would like this song

Catch The Rainbow - ok first of all i would like to say that this song is blatantly copying Little Wing by Jimi Hendrix but also it’s 6 minutes and Little Wing is like less than 2. Also i might just like it better. I’m sorry. Anyway it’s one piece coded

Holiday - COME ON…… also i think Usopp would like it specifically… also emphasis on heartbeat? Luffy’s heart beat? Hi. Is anyone reading this

Wraith Pinned To The Mist And Other Game- let’s all have fun 😝✨✨ let’s partay

Tubthumping - this song actually is about one piece like for real. Chumbawamba told me. Luffy gets knocked down but he gets up again. You’re never gonna keep him down.

Dreams - i mean.

Jackson - WORLDS FUNNIEST ZOSAN SONG… DO U SEE MY VISION. ZORO IS ORVILLE AND SANJI IS TRIXIE.

GONE GONE / THANK YOU - high AMV potential… specifically that bit at the end.

Never Ending Story - self explanatory

Upside Down - Luffy coded…. Also i can see sanji singing it for some reason

Bridge Over Troubled Water - this one makes me fucking crazy… luffy @ the crew but more importantly the crew @ luffy… !!!!! (sobbing)

[icarusistires]

Making paragraph breaks on Tumblr is going to drive me crazy, but I think Riddler and Joker would be besties and I got some incorrect quotes from here I must share

Riddler: WHAT’S YOUR TYPE

Joker: Anything, honestly, but especially Batsy

Riddler, desperately, as Joker bleeds out: YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Joker: Oh! B positive.

Riddler: DONT TRY TO CHEER ME UP JUST TELL ME YOUR BLOOD TYPE

Joker:

Riddler: This is such a bad idea.

Joker: Then why are you coming along?

Riddler: One of us need to be able to talk the cops out of arresting us when this inevitably goes wrong.

Riddler: Do you have any skeletons in your closet

Joker: You mean literally or figuratively?

Riddler: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

Riddler: *Accidentally hits Joker in the face*

Riddler: *Trying to decide between saying 'I’m fucking sorry' and 'Are you okay'*

Riddler: ARE YOU FUCKING SORRY?!

Joker: What’s wrong with you?!

Riddler: Can you please be serious for five minutes

Joker: My record is four, but I think I can do it.

Riddler: Here's some advice

Joker: I didn't ask for any

Riddler: Too bad. I'm stuck here with my thoughts and you're the only one who talks to me

Joker: Riddler, stop! This isn't you, you've gone mad with power!

Riddler: Well of course I have.

Riddler: Have you ever tried going mad without power?

Riddler: It's boring.

Joker: You saved me. I owe you my life.

Riddler: No thanks. I’ve seen it and I’m not very impressed.

Joker: You fuckers don’t know about my knife stick. It’s a knife taped to a stick and it’s the ultimate weapon.

Riddler, not looking up from their book: Spear.

Joker: BLOCKED.

Riddler: You often use humor to deflect trauma

Joker: Thank you

Riddler: I didn't say that was a good thing

Joker: What I'm hearing is, you think I'm funny

Joker: What’s up guys? I’m back.

Riddler: What the- you can’t be here. You’re dead. I literally saw you die.

Joker: Death is a social construct.

Joker: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve.

Riddler: I think you mean cards.

Joker, pulling knives out of their sleeves: No, I do not.

Joker: Bad things keep happening to me, like I have bad luck or something.

Riddler: Joker, you don't have bad luck. The reason bad things happen to you is because you're a dumbass.

Joker: If there's going to be a big dramatic scene, wait until I get back.

Riddler: Of course. I can't flip this table by myself.