#but the actual area always looks sooo…………………….

[sunglassesmish]

https://twitter.com/mullemaus23/status/1663283101940826113?s=46&t=vnyM781SZ3Azm8Yb-GisRA kay im hyperventilating

so you see-

i forgot what i was going to say

[roseykat]

Okay sooo, I don't know if you're into this but I'll leave it here

Since we've established that minsung can and would probably get you pregnant with their babies at the same time, and since breasts produce milk based on how many babies you have to feed...

Lactation kink with minsung

Thoughts?

I got too carried away with this one lmao

No bc firstly Minsung would be so in love with seeing you develop into motherhood. Despite its trials, tribulations, and hardships with carrying their babies, they always see you persevere especially through areas where sometimes there’s nothing they can do to help.

One of those issues would be when your milk starts coming through early and it starts to hurt and feel uncomfortable because there's nowhere for the milk to go. You can pump even though you’re just over a month out from giving birth but it wouldn’t be as beneficial to store it since it will end up expiring regardless if there are other methods for its use prematurely.

Which is why and when Minho tells you that he and Jisung can help out by using some of your breast milk for other things while you’re still carrying the babies. So he suggests that you pump to collect your milk in order to use it for cooking, in cereal and what not, mainly just food for related purposes.

But Jisung thinks along a different line.

Whenever he’s helping you get ready to pump, you sometimes need to massage your breasts because you know it helps with milk flow. Then one day Jisung is sitting next to you, ready to help you set up to pump as you take your bra off. You’re exhausted, sore, fed up, and borderline done with being pregnant until Jisung scoots himself closer to you and very gently starts massaging your breasts for you.

Then just out of fucking nowhere, he leans down and latches his mouth down onto you nipple and sucks. You’re stunned at first, definitely not angry, but taken aback because you didn’t know he’d be into that. Then again, he’s a bag full of surprises.

“So sweet,” Jisung would say as he releases, then will come to his senses, realising what he’s done. “Sorry, I don’t know what came over me. Just…needed to taste you.”

You’d reassure him to not feel guilty because not only did it feel good to get some of that milk out, but simply because there’s just nothing wrong with it in general. Minho wasn’t actually surprised that Jisung wanted to drink straight from you since he’s always been a tits man. Not that that’s the point but, Minho has seen the way Jisung has been looking at you ever since he saw that bump grow.

But then again, Minho is the same way too, just less obvious. He had to admit to himself that watching you get your milk out wasn’t something he was prepared to find satisfying. From that point on, you wouldn’t mind if that’s how either of them wanted to taste your milk.

However, even afterwards - after you give birth, when you start overproducing milk, you’re able to bottle and store extra, but there are days where it doesn’t stop. That’s where Minho and Jisung come to help.

Firstly, you all make sure both of their sons (I’m calling it that they have boys) have a sufficient supply of milk because the last thing they want is to obviously deplete them of their only food sustenance that they have.

Once that’s ensured, both Jisung and Minho help you by practically latching onto you. Both of them would start out by stimulating your sensitive nipples with their tongues before eventually sucking to taste your milk.

I’m also just imagining those two like fucking bulking up bc of how nutrient rich breast milk is. Like they work out a lot and undoubtedly their gains would just shoot through the roof. Minho’s biceps and thighs get bigger, Jisung’s chest and arms get bigger. Christ. They just end up getting thick and they’d look so fucking good. At that point you’re not just helping nurture and grow two babies, but also the babie’s two fathers lmao.

[bbyseok]

sparks in your eyes

pairing: bakugou katsuki x gn!reader

word count: 1.5k

a/n: happy new year everyone !! ik i’m a week late but please enjoy this :)

content: soulmate au, ua students setting, everyone are third years, the class is like a whole family :’) we love to see it, newly established relationship, fireworks n sparklers, VERY soft katsuki, swearing yes, very tiny hint of angst, mostly sappy fluff for the new year !!

analysis: as the year comes to an end, you and katsuki enter the new one with sparks in your eyes.

———

they say you see sparks when you kiss your soulmate for the very first time.

and just with that saying, people dreamt of having their first kiss. of finding their soulmate in their first, if they were lucky enough.

but sometimes, your first significant other wasn’t always your soulmate. it wasn’t always your first relationship. sometimes you’d find them further down your life—sometimes, it’d take a lifetime to find who the universe had destined you with.

the frigid air of the last night of december is a chilling reminder that winter is yet to end, unlike the year.

famed class 3-a, now finally in their third years after long months and adventures of battling villains, are celebrating the new year together.

everyone’s gathered in the common area, conversing excitedly as everyone prepares to head into the streets for the fireworks and the countdown. (iida is doing his infamous hand motions as he makes sure everyone is bundled up properly. momo supplies an extra scarf or two.)

and here you are, nestled into katsuki’s side as the two of you wait on the couch with the rest of his friends. denki’s chatting up a storm per usual, and there’s the sound of hagakure and jirou laughing.

katsuki rubs his thumb over your hand absentmindedly as he deadpans something kirishima says, and you can’t help but snort.

it had taken bakugou a couple of months to muster up the courage to confess to you before it'd be too late. with the new year approaching, so is graduation—and the possibility of losing you as you all are thrusted into the lives of being actual pro heroes wasn’t something he was going to risk.

and it had been worth it. these past few weeks are proof of that. having the privilege of being your boyfriend—walking you to class hand in hand, staying up with you to bury all that studying into your head, sharing warmth underneath the sheets of his bed in his dorm room.

katsuki’s tugging you upward suddenly and you blink up at him in confusion, breaking out of your thoughts.

he catches your stare and scoffs fondly. “c’mon, brat. we’re headin’ out now.” he gestures to your classmates exiting the dorm building before he tugs you alongside him to follow them out.

“sooo..” denki elbows sero and kiri with a waggle of his brows before he glances to the rest of the class as they walk, “who’s ready to find their soulmate tonight? i know i am!”

there’s a few who roll their eyes at his statement while others blush—you can feel katsuki’s eyes linger on you but you don’t say anything as you join in the girls’ giggling.

“as if anyone would wanna kiss your dumb face, sparky!” bakugou barks out and the laughing rises.

the electric student sticks his tongue out at your boyfriend and crosses his arms. “yeah, yeah.”

there’s a few more snickers and the class blends into more easy conversations. it feels comfortable, it feels right to be like this. after all, having trained and lived alongside some of these people, they were bound to feel like family.

once you reach the outskirts of the city, everyone begins to spread out for the meantime to grab drinks, foods, etc. some of the class stay behind to still chat and light up sparklers.

you grab one from midoriya, turning to katsuki with a pleading look. “light mine for me, katsu?” you ask sweetly, twirling the stick in your fingers.

he rolls his eyes but he never can say no to you. “whatever. my explosions are cooler than some sparkler, y’know that, right?” even as he says this, he lights the damn thing for you.

“of course, suki,” you snort. once the sparkler burns, you wave it and threaten to jab it at the blonde. he glares at you playfully.

“watch it, brat!” he tells you with a smirk, “don’t wanna start the new year with some charred clothes, yeah?”

the empty threat has you gasping and you hold the sparkler in defense. “don’t you dare, bakugou katsuki!”

he sends you a stupid grin and you dash. he ends up chasing you around the street and you grab another sparkler for defense, maneuvering around your classmates with a shriek.

eventually, your sparklers die out and bakugou manages to snatch you up with a triumphant laugh. “hah! you thought you could run, huh, dumbass?”

“katsuki!” you giggle, “okay, okay! i surrender, lemme down!” when he sets you down, he ruffles your hair fondly. there’s a sudden flash and next thing you know your boyfriend is wrestling a pink-skinned girl for her phone.

(mina had made it out alive and promptly sent the moment to you afterwards, don’t worry.)

time passes and the countdown is nearing its final digits. things had definitely become more livelier as some of your classmates had returned back to the meeting spot and more people had trudged in.

“katsuki,” you say softly, tugging at his fingers as if to lure him away, “let’s head back to the dorms.”

“don’t you wanna stay with the others?” katsuki inquires, quirking up a brow at you. he seems surprised by your request.

you shake your head. “it’s okay. i just wanna be with you.”

you don’t know it but you make his head all fuzzy, especially when you say such sappy shit like that. his cheeks are red and it’s not just because of the cold. “fine,” he huffs, and he’s leading the way again.

once you’re back inside the heat of the common area, you glance at him, still walking towards the elevators.

“dumbass, where the hell are we goin’?” he questions you but he doesn’t protest as you keep dragging him along.

“the roof, katsu,” you simply explain to him, a bit giddy, “so we can still see the fireworks.”

bakugou hums in reply and is quiet during the elevator ride. the doors open and you take the rest of the stairs that lead up to the roof.

you let go of his hand to stand near the edge, looking over the bright lights of the city. it’s as if the buildings and streets are alive, even from this distance. the city bristles in anticipation of the countdown.

“are you going to kiss me, katsuki?”

the question catches him off guard even though he had been preparing for it all night. and the nights before that. (katsuki has been thinking of kissing you for weeks.)

you hear his light footsteps as he comes to stand behind you. “if you want me to,” comes his gruff reply.

you turn around to face him. the radiance of the moonlight slants over his features and though you’ve never doubted it, he’s the finest man you’ve ever seen. “do you?” you shoot back.

he visibly trembles. “fuckin’ hell, of course i wanna kiss you.”

his ferocity makes you forget how to breathe for a couple of heartbeats. “and what if..” you trail off but the question hangs in the air. and what if we’re not soulmates?

he answers you easily, slotting his hands in yours. they’re still warm. he’s like a walking furnace sometimes. “you think i wouldn’t be able to find my soulmate first try?” he snorts.

you roll your eyes then with a small smile. ever the confident one, he is. “i’m nervous,” you then confess quietly, flexing your fingers against his.

“don’t be, dumbass,” he scolds you. “i’m gonna kiss you ‘n it’s gonna be you. you really think the universe wouldn’t give me the perfect soulmate?”

bakugou doesn’t say words of flattery much—his affection is rather shown through actions and while you don’t mind, hearing his declaration has heat rushing to your cheeks.

puffs of air are visible as you breathe, but they mingle between the two of you. he’s so close. the sudden roar of the countdown sounds.

ten! nine! eight!

“okay,” you hum, drawing him closer.

seven! six! five!

“okay?” he says softly.

four! three!

“okay, katsuki.” you smile. “kiss me.”

two! one!

he leans forward and you meet him halfway, lips on his and then—the fireworks in the sky aren’t the ones you see. there’s a blaze and flurry of sparks that envelop you as your eyes flutter close.

you feel as if you’re on fire, the way katsuki’s lips mold against yours and he draws your body even closer. the brush of his thumb on your cheek has you gasping into his mouth and you know he can see it too.

you can still see them as you open your eyes slowly and barely pull away. you can see the sparks in his eyes, can feel the heat of them in his fingertips.

a silence hangs between you but it feels warm. the affirmation of your bond steady in the air, and it’s like your soul is sated. you had found each other.

“you were nervous, admit it,” you tease, utterly breathless and helplessly in love.

instead of vehement denial, his eyes soften and your heart leaps.

“no.” katsuki breathes and melts against you, entirely yours. “i told you i knew it’d be you.”

and when he kisses you again, the sparks are still there.

[iiseor]

i love yours sugarmommy! abby sooo much could you please do more of it? <3

Yes !! I'm kind of running out of hcs but I tried ૮ ◞ ⸝⸝ ◟ ྀིა

Imagine an AU where she owns a bunch of clubs & bars, that's how you guys meet — she'd be visiting one that just opened and you'd be witty your friends, when they leave you alone for a few moments she takes her chances

Speaking of clubs, we already know she's so overprotective. But I can also imagine her paying extra for your own private seating area at your favourite club of hers, so you and your friends can drink in peace without creeps coming up to you — while still enjoying the music.

She never comes home empty handed... it's actually a bad habit in your mind but she doesnt feel right coming home without at least a drink 4 you..even when it's a short trip. She'll leave for 5 mins and always be back with something for you.

She speaks so old fashion, sits sooo cute. Def uses "love" "sweetheart" and "darling" religiously

Constantly makes sure your pampered however you like. Hair, nails, facials, whatever, it's on her always duh

Despite being insanely rich she probably prefers to have a smaller home, or an apartment. It'll definitely be decorated and look rich, but she doesn't like unnecessary space.

WATCHES, she owns so many fucking watches

Prioritized fancy dinner dates, almost every week honestly... it's always a new place so fancy you don't even know how to pronounce the name

Spoils tf out of u and never expects anything in return. Obviously she appreciates it, but she never cares if u don't buy her stuff and definitely doesn't expect u to get her anything.. not even on holidays tbh. But obviously you always do. She's so adamant about never needing anything.

Nsfw

Bad Size kink

Stone top i fear

That's all i got

[betasquads]

MY DEAREST FRIEND, Niko Omilana

———————————

———————————

summary: you and Niko became friends quickly when your group got big, and therefore, you collabed with the beta squad. they liked your energy and your friends' energy, and let's say, it wasn't hard for the friendship to form. You and Niko were practically hanging out everyday, and you've always seen him as your friend. That was until fans began shipping you with him, and those thoughts were enough to make you open your eyes and realize he was more than that.

A/N: my first smut ever with one of the beta squad 🤭 IM REALLY WORRIED AS THIS IS REALLY DETAILED. so read at your own risk ! (i have never cringed so much while writing smut)

warnings: really detailed smut

You laugh as you make your way out of the house, "Alright, I think we should definitely go go Nando's for today." You nudge Niko's arms as you walk to his car.

He runs around to open the door for you and you chuckle, it always made you feel that you had a really good friend.

"I can open the door for myself." You narrow your eyes at him.

"I simply know and i simply don't care. If I want to open the door for you, then I'll do it." He shrugs, pointing towards your seat.

You comply and slide in smoothly, and he closes the door, running around to sit in the driver's seat.

"I was thinking of going somewhere else. I'm getting tired of nandos. And you're very well dressed for Nandos, you deserve a higher place than going there." Niko sighs, putting his seat belt on.

You smile at his comment, he was right. You were wearing a tight dress for the occasion, but you did it incase there were paparazzi laying around the area. You always made sure you looked presentable.

"When am I never well dressed? I'm craving for nandos. Those are your favorite. Well besides wagamama, those are your top one. So you can't be actually tired of nandos–" You ramble.

"Fine, fine. Nandos it is." He cuts you off and you grin.

You hum as you scroll through your feed, smiling when you come across the your own post that you had posted yesterday.

Your curious to look at the comments and you view all of them, reading each one by one.

Y/N Y/L/N

Liked by niko, johnnycarey_7, and 154,039 others

Y/N Y/L/N : always an opportunity to work with these people ❤️ make sure to check the NDL's most recent as Niko did a banger by bringing all the four of us into one video 😮‍💨

View all 2,097 comments

niko: I made it a banger by inviting you

^ Y/N Y/LN: 🥹❤️

^ nikoandy/nsbiggestshipper: SCREAMING

kingkennytv: y/n and niko have a got a friendship like no other , his comment proves it ❤️

^y/n/y/l/nsbae: KENNY SHIPS SECRETLYYYYYY

y/nandnikoshipper: just finished it. THE WAY NIKO IS LOOKING AT HER IN THE ENTIRE VIDEO.

^ yungfilly: agreed innit

^y/nandnikoshipper: FILLY AGREES. ITS CONFIRMED. #Y/NANDNIKOCONFIRMED

^ user3939210: they have to be blind because they SOOO like each other.

ajshabeel: this video is just 30 minutes of niko and y/n flirting 🙏🏾

^ niko: this is just not true

^ niko: your breath stinks man you can't be spitting both bad breath AND lies

^ harrypinero: I was there and I could confirm that it's them flirting 100%

^ chunkz: couldn't even invite me so I could be the judge of that 🤦

Another feed appears and you look at the caption that says, "1 minute of Niko and y/n flirting (from the most recent NDL vid.) *LITERAL.*"

You lower the volume as you watch the subtitles, shifting uncomfortably in your seat.

You bite your lip in focus as you decorate the cake and Niko observes the way you were so focused on winning this. You were stood on your shared workstation, Niko and you both had to share one and both Harry Pinero and Aj were working on one. Kenny was going to be the judge.

Everyone was working individually though.

"Oh that looks horror." He says to piss you off and you push him playfully, a flirty smile on display.

"Oh, you so like it. You just won't admit it. I bet you're jealous aswell." You bat your eyes at him and for a second you catch Niko biting his lip while looking at yours.

"Whatever that makes you feel better, schmuck." He says as his lips ghost over your ears.

You push him at his closeness, "You're a creep."

"Did you eat some of the butter cream from mine?" Niko questions and you shake your head.

"No I didn't." You send a side glance at Niko.

"The white cream on the corner of your mouth says otherwise." He says in a low hushed tone.

you're about to wipe it off with your thumb and that's when he takes your hand and places it down, slowly and gently taking it off himself. His thumb lingers on your bottom lip for too long, in which you didn't notice.

He licks the leftover cream from his thumb, making sure you were looking the entire time. The eye contact was far from innocent, Niko's eyes are hooded and yours are just looking up at him 'innocently'.

"What a gentleman." You mock in his face.

"Always at your service." He says in a low, hushed tone.

"Stop flirting, there's like 10 minutes left." Aj interrupts, sighing deeply in annoyance at how the both of them seemed to have some tension going on, but you being clueless, you didn't mean it as flirting at all.

"Me? Flirting with that thing? Yeah, no. Nice try Aje, but you are trying to set me up." You jokingly say but Niko forces a grin, although it did hurt him.

"Crazy, crazy." Niko mutters under his breath as he shakes his head, the forced grin still on display.

"Gal already broke his heart for they started a ting." Harry remarks and Aj laughs, slapping Harry's arm.

You pout sarcastically and go behind Niko, even though you couldn't see as he's way taller than you, but you poke your head to the side. "I'll make it up to you. Let me help you with this horror. You aren't seriously serving this to Kenny looking like this, are you?" You scold him half–heartedly and he stays silent.

He looked nervous as your body was pushed against his back, but you in your mind, it was nothing more than he thought.

"I don't think this is allowed. George– is this allowed?" Aj argues.

"Yes it is allowed." George says calmly behind the camera.

You send a teasing smile to Aj, turning around and adding your own buttercream to his to cover the mess that he had made.

"You're ruining it–" Niko argues just to piss you off, but you cut him off sharply.

"Shut up. It has never looked better." You bite your lip in concentration, Niko's eyes only fixed on you.

You started scraping the edges to make it look smoother, and tried to make it neat aswell.

"Done." You smile. Before Niko could thank you, the time was already up.

Kenny had tasted all of the cakes except yours, it was time for his judgment.

You were nervous, the fans always rooted for you to win each time you appeared on the NDL channel. It felt like your responsibility, even if it was just a video.

Niko must've noticed it, so he leans towards your ears to whisper, "Don't worry, you're definitely winning. Like always." Niko nudges your shoulder softly, a wide, genuine smile on display.

"You think so?" You questioned, your eyes still fixed on Kenny who was currently judging your cake, pointing out that the cake might've been a little overcooked.

"I know so." He reassures you.

After Kenny had judged every cake, he was now taking the decision, "Alright. I was hesitant on two cakes, but I finally made my decision."

You lean a little closer, and Niko leans towards Kenny aswell. You thought it was because he wanted to hear his name, but secretly he jad wanted for you to win.

"The winner is.... y/n!" You smiled so wide when you heard your name, Niko's smile might've been even wider.

"What the hell is he smiling about? He just lost." Aj remarks loudly.

"They're in love. He wanted her to win. It's so clear, man." Harry says defeatedly, disappointed that he didn't win although his cake looked like it was made out of a horror movie.

"Now that is just not true." You squint your eyes at Harry.

"Told you." His lips ghosts over your ears and you move away, giggling as this spot was ticklish.

And the video was now finished. It began replaying from the beginning.

When you went to the comments, they were just fixated on the both of you. They shipped you, and even pointed out the obvious. The obvious that you thought wasn't even there.

You could feel your mouth go dry. Everyone thought that both you and Niko had common feelings for one another. You always viewed Niko as you friend, nothing more.

You look over at Niko who was focused on his driving, your eyes slowly trailing down to his hands that were tightly holding the wheel and the other holding the stick.

You wondered what his large hands could do– what the fuck. You shouldn't be thinking of him like that. He was your friend. But those hands...

You let out a shaky sigh and shift uncomfortably at the feelings starting to appear out of nowhere. This made you really uncomfortable.

"Something wrong?" His voice was hushed as he asks you, and it almost drove you crazy. How have you never noticed how raspy his voice was?

What the hell was going on?

"No, everything's fine."

He puts a hand over your thighs, and you knew to him, that didn't mean anything, "You sure?" He looks over at you for a second and his eyebrows are furrowed deeply in worry.

Your eyes shift from his face to the hand that was on your thigh, your filthy brain began to make up scenarios. His hands were veiny, large, and overall could get the job.

Your body was already getting hot and weak at one touch on your thigh, you knew you were damned as soon as this man gets on top of you.

You hum in response, not wanting to talk. Otherwise you knew a voice crack would occur.

You could feel your eyelids getting heavier and you shake your head to get out of the trance that you were in.

"Alright we're here." You let out a sigh that you didn't know you were holding. You knew you were thankful as now you were going to be in an open place surrounded by people.

You get out the car, not waiting for another second for him to open it for you.

"What'd I say about you opening your own–"

"Yeah shut up. I'm really hungry and I can't waste a second." You come up with an excuse.

"Crazy. You're always eating real good–" Niko teases and began laughing at your failed attempt of hitting him.

"Oh look– a seat by the window!" He points and you both start running for it.

you make your way first which makes him roll his eyes, "I definitely made you win."

"You always say that. You're a liar." You send a smile towards him.

"Good evening, my name is Arthur, I'll be your waiter for the evening. Any starters? Or we'll get right through with–" He says welcomingly, his eyes only on you.

"Yeah, no starters." Niko says a little too aggressive, like he wanted for the waiter to be aware that he was there.

He nods, but Arthur was too lost in looking at your eyes, "Alright. Do you need time to think about–"

"No." Niko cuts him off sharply.

You send a glare at Niko which only makes him rolls his eyes, "Sorry, he's just in a terrible mood. You know, his girlfriend just broke up with him." You say a bit tad dramatically, sending another glare to give an indication to Niko that he should stop doing whatever he was doing.

You place your head over your hand, "Anyway, we'll get our usual, the Full Platter. Right Niko? Or do you want anything else?" You say, a little worried on why he was acting out.

He nods, not daring to say another word.

"Been there. But there will always be a better replacement." The waiter says as he doesn't look away from you. You could feel your cheeks turning red, a small flirty smile displayed on your face.

Niko swallows and looks down at his hands, not liking where this was going.

"So, any drinks? Or sides?"

"Coke zero. And you?" You raise your eyebrows at Niko who sat opposed you.

"I'll have the same thing." He mumbles.

"Alright. Full Platter and two coke zeros. Coming up in 15 minutes." He smiles politely before going back inside.

Niko sunk in his seat and began fidgeting with his hands, "You didn't have to lie. I never had a girlfriend to begin with." Niko mumbles right after the waiter left.

"Well, I'm not letting anyone take a bad image on you. You're a great person. So stop whatever that is that you're doing." You eye him suspiciously.

The two of you had finally finished eating the main in dead silence, which wasn't really common as the both of you always spoke. "Alright. I'll go to the toilet and I'll be back in just a second so we could leave." You felt the need to say so you could break of the awkward silence.

You go up to the sink, placing your bag on a place specialized for bags. You grabbed a tissue, wiping your lips as it had some grease left from the food, and your lipstick was slightly messed up. You smile as you realize you had the entire toilet for yourself as no one was there.

You hum as you wash your hands, and that's when the deep thoughts began to form. Why the hell was Niko acting like that? Why wasn't he speaking to you the entire time you ate? It was confusing, but you just stayed silent for him as he didn't seem to want that option.

You hear someone enter and lock the door lock which interrupts your deep thoughts. You were about to turn around, a little scared on why someone would lock it, but that's when you hear a familiar voice.

"I didn't like how that waiter was flirting with you." Niko states as he makes his way to the sink, washing his hands. You flinch since it was unexpected that Niko would come aswell.

"You scared me."

You furrow your eyebrows once you repeat the words he had said, "It's time I quit being a loner and have someone for my own. Isn't that great?" You smile widely, as you reapply your lipstick.

"You're not hearing me. I don't like him." He emphasizes, taking tissues and drying his hands.

"And I. don't. care. I didn't ask for your opinion Niko. That's what you've been doing my entire life. Is that you drive every man I meet away from me. You have no control over me."

"Why not?" His question was followed by an angry tone. What was going on? Niko never acted out. He seemed pissed.

"Well I don't know mister, maybe because we're just friends!" You say, and you knew it was far from the truth. It was as if you were trying to convince yourself.

What the hell were you and Niko?

He stayed silent for a few, just looking you up and down, which made you shift uncomfortably.

He finally spoke, "We are far from friends. And we both know that." His voice dropped down a few octaves and you could feel your breath being caught by it.

You chuckle nervously, "What are you talking about?" You furrow your eyebrows as you look at him from the mirror of the bathroom.

His eyes scan your entire body and he goes up to you, both arms extending to the bathroom sink. Your eyes are wide and his are hooded, "I see the way you look at me. And i know that you're aware of how i look at you."

He had you trapped and his body was too close.

"Um– what? I– no that– Niko–" Words spilled from your mouth when you weren't aware of what you even wanted to say.

Your chest was moving rapidly from your deep breaths, "Niko?" You turn around, Niko still having both of his arms locking you on both sides.

Ah, now you had gotten the message.

"Are you jealous?" You squinted your eyes at him, the bottom of your stomach twisted with something similar to excitement and mostly, you felt nervous now that you had said it out loud.

"What if I am?" He replied almost too boldly, his eyes hooded. You swallowed, your eyes widening.

He was waiting for you to make the next move. Your eyes shifted from his own eyes to his lips. He did the same, and he dampened his lips and pursues them against each other.

You just wanted one taste. That's all. It won't ruin the friendship, would it?

Both your hands reach to cup his face, bringing his lips to yours. It was one long peck and you disconnected right away. But it didn't seem enough. One taste wasn't enough.

You enjoyed it, you craved it even though it had lasted for 5 seconds. And so did he. His eyes are wide and so was yours and the both of you just knew it.

Youn both needed each other, so fucking bad.

He pushed you up against the wall with some force, letting his hand slip up the bottom of your dress and grab onto your ass with a hard squeeze.

The chill from his cold hands prickled through your entire body, eliciting a breathy moan from your lips. Then his hands slipped upwards, roaming over your hips and waist before climbing up the stretch of bare skin at your back.

You never thought Nikolas Omilana would be craving you. The way his eyes were trying to memorize each part of your curve, it made him look like a hungry man, waiting to feed on its prey. And that made your spine shiver.

You felt the delicate work of his fingers undoing the knot at the back of your neck which fastened your dress. Once it was undone, he helped guide the dress to the floor, letting the smooth satin fabric skim over your skin on the way down.

Then all you were left standing in was a pair of red lacy underwear, and your stilettos, in exactly the same shade of red.

His hands slipped over your body once more, but this time there was no barrier between his skin and yours. His velvety touch travelled over over hips and stomach, before reaching your breasts and stopping momentarily to give them a hungry squeeze.

"y/n," He breathed, surprised, eyes still fixed on your body. "This feels so wrong." He remarks, although he knew damn well he was waiting for this moment, for too long.

Your answer was only a giggle, as you pulled him back into your body, and connected both of your lips in a passionate kiss. Your breasts pushed firmly against his bare chest, and his hands had now slipped into your hair, using his fingers as a vice to keep your head close and your lips intertwined with his.

"It does feel wrong," You pause for a second.

";but thats what makes it feel so right." You say against his lips. He whines at your sentence.

With a quick burst of strength, you flipped your positions so Niko was the one pushed up against the wall. A short grunt fell through his lips as his back slammed into the drywall.

You pulled back from the kiss grinning, finally getting a proper look at his face for the first time. You couldn't help but chuckle as you noticed the smears of red lipstick all over his mouth. His chest is moving rapidly and his mouth is slightly opened in awe, studying every part of your features.

"You've got red lipstick all over your face." You giggled, using your fingers to wipe some of it away.

"Mmm." He mumbled, seizing hold of your waist, and looking deep into your eyes. "You wanna get it all over somewhere else?" He says as he lazily kisses your earlobe, biting it playfully. You instinctively lean backwards, he must've know that you were sensitive in that particular place.

Biting into your lip while his words repeated in your head, You let your hand trail up the inseam of his pants, until you finally reached his crotch. His erection was pushed up against the fabric, hardening even more as your hand skimmed over it. "Mmm hmm." You hummed. "I do."

He hums, pleased at your hand placements. "Perfect." He whispered.

"You locked the door, right?"

He nods eagerly in response.

Then with no warning he scooped you up, wrapping your legs around his waist and carrying you towards the sink.

As soon as you were on the sink, you kicked your heels over the edge and Niko stripped off his pants, leaving him only in boxers, which were now stretched considerably by his stiffened length. He kept his eyes trained on you, and you kept your eyes fixed below his waist. It was hard not to look at it.

As he drew closer to your body, his height made him have an advantage, and you felt weak just by looking up at him the more you knelt down for him. Your eyes met in one of the most intense gazes you'd ever experienced, and you could've sworn you saw his pupils expand, growing into huge black holes.

You swirled your tongue around his tip, keeping your eyes fixed on his. As your tongue circled him, he sputtered out a desperate moan, tilting his head back in pleasure. Mid-moan you pulled away again, letting your dampened lips twitch into a small grin.

"Say please." You demand.

He ground his teeth together, locking his eyes onto you. You flicked your tongue over your lips. He groaned inwardly.

"P-Please." He stuttered politely, his eyes almost closed and desperate.

A satisfied smirk took residence on your lips, but it only lasted a second. Then your head dipped forward, and you took him into your mouth. You felt his grip on your hair pull tighter as you pushed him deep inside of you, allowing him to brush the back of your throat. Then with each inward motion, you took him in a little further, letting him moan a little louder.

Your motions got quicker and wetter, and you found yourself enjoying the growing tension on youe scalp from where Niko was tugging your hair.

He must've noticed, because his eyes were filled with worry for a second, "I'm sorry if im hurting you–"

You shake your head and send him a lustful look to indicate that you were enjoying every moment of this.

But what you enjoyed most of all was the sounds that fell through his lips. God, they made you tingle. Each one loud and desperate. A gorgeous little product of his pleasure.

"y/n, oh God. Oh my– oh." He blurted through a moan, as you finally managed to take a good amount of his length. "You're so good. So, so good. Oh, God."

You look up at him to find him trying to hold the noises, which made you tut in disapproval. Your tut made a vibration against his tip, which makes him let out the moan he desperately tried to hold.

You rub his sensitive inner thigh, "Make more noises for me, baby. Don't hold back, let them out for me." You reassure him.

Your tone with your delicate touch made him whimper, and slowly he releases his bottom lip and began comfortably moaning as loud as possible, just for you.

"Mmmmm, y/n," He says as he grunts, feeling his entire body heating up at the pleasure building inside his lower belly.

Now he was just sputtering words that made no sense, which brought great pleasure to you. He was so lost for words at your work.

"Oh, oh. God, oh God. y/n, I'm so close."

You only managed to go all the way down once more before he released a deep grunt and pulled your head back.

"I wanna finish with you." He says through a breath of moans, tilting your chin upwards so your eyes connected.

Then before you had time to move, he somehow managed to grab you and flip you over, so you were bent over the sink, you could watch every movement Niko made from the mirror.

Then you felt his fingers curl into the waistband of your underwear and slowly tug them downwards. A second later you felt the tip of his dick sliding through the dampness in between your legs, teasing you gently. You dug your teeth into your lower lip to stifle a moan.

He looks at you to get his approval, and once you nodded, in one swift movement he pushed inside of you, causing a sharp burst of pleasure to ripple below your stomach. You couldn't stifle the moan, it came out loud and needy. And there was many more to follow, as each slam of his hips sent a jolt of overwhelming pleasure to course through your body.

His fingers pressed deep into the skin on your hips, helping pull you into him as he thrust hard inside of you, making each movement into a pleasure filled collision. And with each one, you felt yourself edging a little closer to your finish. You didn't know how he did it, but somehow, he hit the perfect spot every single time. It was like his body was made for you.

The mixed sounds of the both of you made echoed in the bathroom sent an unknown amount of pleasure to your stomach.

What made your body feel like it was hot, was the loud noises Niko sputters out. It made you feel like you wanted to listen to this everyday.

With a few more twists of his hips, you felt your nerve endings begin to electrify, the pleasure inside of you now growing so intense that it was unbearable. Then with one more drive of his hips, the tension inside of you released in a perfect burst, eliciting a moan which was broken through desperate breaths.

"You did so good." You hear Niko purr from behind you.

"Your turn." You whispered against his earlobe, which made his breath catch.

Catching your breath again, he groaned with pleasure, gripping onto your waist as pleasure began bubbling inside his lower stomach.

You dragged your thumb slowly down his lower lip, staring right into his brown lustrous eyes.

You make sure to put in effort to help him finish as you moved all the way from his tip to his base. His grip on your waist grew firmer, and his moans grew more frequent. You couldn't help but admire the way his face twitched with pleasure whenever you pushed your hips up. It was like his body couldn't find a way to cope with the feeling that was coursing through him. And you took great satisfaction in that.

With every motion your thighs began to burn more intensely, but you relished in the pain, knowing he was drawing closer to finishing. You could see it in his face. In the way he bit into his lip so hard you thought he might draw blood. Then finally, you heard a deep grunt push through his lips.

Your hips slowed into nothing, and his grip on you loosened. His chest heaved with deep and frantic breaths, and his brow prickled with beads of sweat. For quite a while, the only sound in the room was the rasps of his breaths.

He couldn't even talk.

—

Both you and Niko sung out one of his favorite song like there was no tomorrow, laughter, flirting, and touching was involved the entire night.

He had stopped infront of your house, getting outside the car with you to make sure you went inside safely.

"Before you go, I have one question." He was nervous, shifting from side to side.

You smile so widely. You had waited for him to ask this question the entire ride home. "What is it, Omilana?"

"Can i be your boyfriend?" His voice cracks slightly as he spoke.

You squint your eyes, like you were in deep thought. "No, bye." You shrug and turn around, which makes his heart sink for a second.

You began laughing, "Of course, dumbass. C'mere." You whisper the last words and pull him to an unexpected kiss.

His eyes widen and closes immediately, enjoying the way his soft lips were pressed against yours. This kiss wasn't filled with any lust, but filled with innocence.

You felt him smile in the kiss, which caused your lips to twitch into a wide smile aswell.

"You're an idiot, do you know that?" He says against your lips.

You give him a few pecks before you responded, "And you're even more idiotic."

"I think that shows how we're fit for each other." He says in-between kissing. You giggle against his lips, about to say something that was on your mind.

He must've known it, because he was the first one to speak, "Shut up and let me kiss you."

You couldn't stop smiling, he was everything you've been looking for.

———————————

[sagesskies]

just played Binary Star Hero, loved it, amazing, chefs kiss, Hals can take my heart and soul. Love them sooo much.

And an idea just struck me: Awkward Yandere Hero who is also your ex, meanwhile you're the guy who manages his tech.

The guys running the agency wanted him to be presented as the perfect, ideal man, and in this heteronormative world, the ideal man was straight, so they had him start dating another superhero. You got that, you could handle that, but what pissed you off was that he couldn't at least fight for your relationship when the higher-ups wanted him breaking up with you.

so you take the initiative, and don't let him keep beating around the bush, and break things off first. Good riddance honestly, what need do you have of a man who wasn't even willing to fight for you?

You keep working for the same agency, managing their tech, fixing it up after any errors, making sure everything runs in tip, top shape. But you refuse to do anything for him, no. They can get somebody else to do that.

everytime you two speak, it's always tense. him, the 'strong' 'virile' and 'masculine' hero practically cowering before you, the glorified tech support.

"Uh, h-hey [Name]!"

"... Helios."

"How... how are you?"

"I'm fine. What do you want?"

"Uh. To talk?"

"... Leave."

"I just want to chat-"

"Now."

"Okay. Goodbye. Take care. Love you- I mean, uhhhh, t-take care- Wait shit I already said that- Uh. Uh. Bye!"

Your colleagues tell you to pity him more, he had no choice you know? The agency paid his bills, they gave him a job, they were the reason why he wasn't taken to the government testing labs and made a labrat like all the other non-hero superpowered humans. So he was in no position to say no to their demands.

So were you supposed to pity him? To constantly let him do whatever he wanted? Let him miss all the dates, the dinners, to focus more on work than your relationship? Were you supposed to pity him when he didn't bother to explain himself when pictures were released of him going into a hotel room with some model? To let it slide without a single explanation?

You have too much respect for yourself.

When you try to hit the dating scene again, to be able to fully solidify that you are truly moving on from your ex... but for some reason, said ex always ruins everything?!

every single place you take your dates, it's suddenly infested with your ex's fanclub as hundreds of people all clamor around, disrupting others as they all try to at least look at the famed hero Helios who was reported to have been sighted, just your luck, in your general area!

and not to mention, what happens when he decides to approach you in public, while your on a date, and the other guy just so happens to be a big fan of his and all of a sudden you're just tossed aside as your date gets his fucking forehead signed by your ex.

and still, still, he has the audacity to try to strike up a conversation with you.

"Hey, [Name]!" Helios- No, Hollis, greets you cheerfully.

You don't bother to respond, focusing on fixing the dents in Liquid Steel's metal suit. Slamming the hammer down on the outward dents, grunting when you accidentally move the dent inward and use the dolly to fix it.

Hollis, hesitantly, comes closer to you. Despite the fact that you were holding a hammer, he wasn't afraid. You know that he's sturdy and durable, more than other supers, but he is still flesh and bone. If you caught him off guard...

"So, uh, since the other mechanics are a bit busy... I was wondering, could you-"

"I won't, Helios," You glare at him, "Just wait for one of them to come back or something."

Hollis chuckles awkwardly, "Ah, well, I'll actually be needing it fixed soon," His eyes wander around your workspace, before going back to focus on you, eyes a brilliant gold, "I'm... gonna be sent on a mission."

You recall when he'd miss your anniversary dinner, and told you he had to be called out for an emergency extraction. He was fidgeting the entire time, hand rubbing at his neck where you saw lipstick stains that he was doing a shit job at hiding.

Looking at him now, you can tell he's lying the same way he was back then. But for different reasons now.

"No." You say with finality.

"But-"

You drop your hammer, and grab him by the collar of his shirt. Pulling him closer till your foreheads were pressed against each other. His eyes widen, and he gulps.

"I said no," You snarled, spit flying against his face, "Why can't you fucking get that into your thick skull, hm?"

Your hands grasp tighter onto the fabric of his shirt, nearly tearing it off, "You've been a right fucking creep, yknow?" You give him a cruel, crooked grin, "I know what you're doing- You've been fucking stalking me, haven't you?"

"[Name], I-"

Maybe it's the stress from work, the breakup, the failed dates, Hollis himself, his mere presence being enough to tip you over the edge. Whatever it is, you snap.

"Shut up!" You scream at Hollis, "I hate you- I hate you so, so, so much!"

More than you hated Hollis, you hated the situation. It's more than just sabotaging your love life, and always bothering you with his awkward small talk, you wished he started trying before you ended it. You wished it didn't take you leaving for him to beg for you to come back.

You feel like the gear that you're in charge of fixing. Some heroes take care of theirs like it's their baby, always careful, but never getting enough work done because of it. Some are able to tolerate it getting damaged, and do their duty. But some? Some are willing to let it suffer intense damage, nearly become irreparable, all for the sake of their job.

Hollis is like that, you think. He let your relationship decay, rot, and fester, till it became nothing more than a shell of what it used to be. But you were too tired to fix it. Why bother anyway? You were old news, software that needed to be updated. So like any person with common sense, Hollis got an update.

Your face grows warm, you think it is from the shame for your outburst, before you realize it is also wet, and that you are actually crying. You don't want to, but you slump against his chest, and bury your face into the warmth of his shirt.

You beat weakly at his chests, "I hate you... I hate you Hollis." You sob.

Hollis shifts, you think he's about to pry you off, but then you sense a familiar presence over your back, and then a hesitant, but comforting hand is rubbing soothing circles into your back.

"It's... It's okay [Name]," His voice is shaky, and you think he's crying too, "No matter how much you hate me, I'll always love you."

[lxmbr]

Luxiem when you propose first! 💍

cw: suggestive in vox and ike's. not proofread

notes: thank you so much anon!! i'm so nervous to post this so i really hope this is up to your expectations! so sorry it took so long to make but i actually had a lot of fun! 🩷

Vox Akuma -

• Vox is a pretty traditional man so i think he'd be a bit bummed at first

• of course he'd say yes

• would probably still propose to you anyway

• he might even try to "1 up" you lol

• you mightve done it at a resturant but nonono he planned for weeks to get something "better"

• he ended up popping the question to you where he first asked you on a date

• he'd ask the other luxiem members to help set up the area with flower petals and candles/whatever you fancy

• VERY CLICHE.

• he does the cheesy prep talk before he finally pops the question

• "would you, (first and last name) make me, Vox Akuma the luckiest demon on earth and join me in ruling my clan?"

• afterwards he'd totally rizz you up to make you forget he just "beat you" in a fake competetion

• after BOTH proposals you know what happens ;)

• in the end he would happily say yes but be very flustered as he didnt expect you to be the one to do so. 

• the fact that you proposed first was both hot AND sweet

• he'd still want to give his go at a proposal too though :)

Mysta Rias -

• This boy- man would SCREAM

• he'd be hella surprised

• after he asesses the situation i think he'd do that cringy white girl thing 

• "OH EM GEE!! NO YOU DIDN'T! YES IF COURSE I WILL BABE!" while jumping and fanning his face with his hands

• after the jokes he'd say yes genuinely and kiss you happily

• "ah babeeee in so surprised but..im so happy" with his  sheepish giggle

• would give you the BIGGEST HUG ™

• since you asked him he'd treat you to dinner that night

• "its on me loves..gotta treat my future wife don't i?~"

• wouldnt. stop. talking. about. it. all. week.

• he might cry a bit but he would hide it for sure. maybe only a tear or two would come out

• would be soooo clingy the rest of the day/night

• "can we shower together??" 

• in the end he wouldnt mind all that much..hes just sooo excited to get to marry you!!

Luca Kaneshiro -

• you decided that day was THE day...but..so did he..

• oops! you both proposed the same day!

• of course the 3 year anniversary would he perfect!! why wouldnt he think of the possibility that you'd do it?!

• when you get on 1 knee he'd look around with a shocked expression and would give his awkward laugh

• "WHAT?!" 

• after your speech he got down on HIS knee ans then proposed to you..at eye level since you were still kneeling 

• everyone around was shocked. the other luxiem members aw-ing and laughing

• another loud one

• he'd call back home, YOUR mom, the waiters and waitresses, the lucubs...EVERYONE

• would also be clingy af 

• couldnt look you in the face from pure shyness but you caught him staring at you multiple times

• he wouldnt stop praising you for your proposal

• "omg that was so good baby i loved it!!"

• never lets go of you, your arms and hands are ALWAYS intertwined 

• gets jealous and possessive easily

• he'd pull you away from everyone..mainly the other guys

• "excuse you IKE. my FIANCE is BUSY with ME." while dragging you toward him and pouting

• no one is ever letting you guys live this down

Ike Eveland -

• he already was calling you his fiance/wife/husband before any of this

• he panicked

• after your proposal he pulled you into a quieter place frantically without answering 

• everyone thought it went bad and they all were upset

• you finally saw how red he was and he apologized and wanted to yell "YES" in your face..but he didnt

• "y-yes..i'd love to marry you min kärlek." 

• wouldnt let go of your hand

• makes sure YOU put the ring on his hand, not him

• when you guys come back out hes holding your hand timidly, making sure to show off the ring

• "GUYSSSS STAWPPP" when everyone cheers

• takes you to your favorite place afterward for food and then books a 5 star hotel

• "come on darling...pack up your things! <3"

• lets just say...yall had a NIGHT

• tries his best to be romantic all night

• surprisingly can play it cool with you after the initial shock unlike luca

• while he might be internally freaking out he could calm you down and rizz you up so. easily.

• absolute baby boy ™

• so. SO. excited to start planning

• "so we can have half of the venue (your fav color) and the other half blue!! and omg i can have- and you can- and can we please-" 

• basically very surprisee and panicked but once he gets you alone he very quickly gets insanely excited 

Shu Yamino -

• he already knew 

• was very nervous and wary around you often since he didnt know when but he knew you would yk?

• of course he didnt say anything, he didnt wanna ruin it

• actually he didnt even tell you he knew

• was actually caught off gaurd when you did it at first

• the rest of the proposal though he was able to keep it cool

• he actually bought you a ring and flowers in preperation

• "i would..love to marry you" as he grabs your hand and slips on your ring while you slip his on

• "ah..ive been waiting for this..im so happy"

• only tells close people such as family, luxiem, and manager-san

• asks staff-san for a week off that same day for a pre-wedding honeymoon

• gets shy whenever you call him your fiance/husband and vise versa

• he adores you and is clearly SO excited

• you caught him searching for weddingspo one night when he was supposed to be working

• buys new flowers every week until the day of the wedding

• lowkey had a dream about it and it made him giddy all day when he woke up

[eddiediaaz]

Hey!! I just wanted to say that your recent speak now gif set is sooo stunning. I was wondering how you managed to create that cassette tape effect if it isn’t any trouble? It’s really so pretty.

Have a great day! ✨

ahhh thank you so so much! first of all, i cannot take any credit for this effect, as it was greatly inspired by this amazing yellowjacket gifset by @thewintersoldier!!

but here's how i recreated the effect, from a cassette png (found on pngwing here), to this animated cassette effect (as seen in my speak now set):

psst: i usually always create in photoshop cs5, but for this effect you need a recent version of photoshop because it's using transform keyframes (i think cs5 doesn't let you do that, or i just don't know how to lol). i used cc 2019 for this.

sorry if this is lengthy or has too much or too little details haha, but i hope it's comprehensible! english is not my first language so i also apologize in advance for any mistakes!

I. PREPARING THE CASSETTE

so, starting with the png here:

i removing everything i didn't want on the cassette png with the brush tool by just drawing the right color over the unwanted text. for the color, i then went to image > adjustments > hue/saturation and in the red tab, i played with the hue slider to get that purple color. finally, i added some text to my liking, and this is what i ended up with:

(not necessary but: i also selected the white lines on each side with the magic wand tool because i wanted these lines to be transparent. once your selection is done, go right click > layer via cut. it will create a new layer of the cutout you just made. you just need to disable or delete the layer to make the selection (lines) transparent.)

at this point you want to have only 2 layers: the revamped cassette and the text layer. you can remove the text layer actually, and just add the title back at the end, as it is not necessary for this effect. i just like to have the visual.

if you have multiple layers, you need to select all of them (except the song title layer), right click on the png layer and click on merge layers. this will create one layer with all the editing you made on the cassette. if you think you will need to edit this later though, i would save the file as a psd before merging the layers.

II. THE EFFECT

okay, so now that you have your cassette, make sure your video timeline is activated, not frame animation, and you are ready to go.

first, you want to create a perfect circle shape around one of the reel with the elliptical marquee tool (hold shift while dragging the circle). make sure it covers the entire area that will later be rotated. make sure this circle is perfectly centered around the reel or otherwise the animation will be a bit lopsided.

then right click on this selection and go "layer via copy". this will create a layer of only that circle selection. important step: right click on that new layer and go "convert to smart object". the layer should look like that, i've renamed mine:

now if you go to your timeline and open that new smart object layer, you will see that you have 3 keyframe options. we only need the transform one.

go to the start of the timeline and activate the transform animation by clicking on the stopwatch button. a keyframe will be created automatically.

to create the actual animation, move the position of the cursor on the timeline further, i put mine at the 01:00f mark so it's easier to create the right timing.

then what you want to do is select the reel smart object layer and hit ctrl + T. a box will appear and this is how you will make the reel rotate.

to rotate the reel shape, move your cursor near the blue box on your canvas and drag it until you have rotated the shape halfway through and hit enter. another keyframe will be created and if you play your animation, the reel should rotate on itself for half a turn

move your position on the timeline to 02:00f and do the same thing: select the left reel smart object, hit ctrl + T, rotate for another half turn, and hit enter. this third keyframe should be the last one needed for the animation and you should have a full animated rotation of the reel.

play your animation, and adjust the speed to your liking by dragging the keyframes on the timeline (but make sure they stay within the same distance from each other). the closer the keyframes are, the faster the animation are, and the further they are, the slower it'll be.

then you can just trim the smart object to your animation's length, and duplicate (right click the smart object > duplicate layer) this layer the amount of times needed (i find this less finicky than duplicating keyframes), and placing them one after the other. three full turns should be enough. this is what my timeline looks like right now:

and my animation for the left side looks like this:

as you can see, we can see the little "dents" peeking through behind the animation. we don't want that! to remove it, select the revamped cassette layer (that should be under the reel smart object), and create another perfect circle around it with the marquee tool. this time make sure it's smaller than the previous one, it just needs to cover these dents.

then right click on this selection on your canvas and go "layer via cut". this will create a new layer with that selection, and all you need to do is to disable it. this is removing the information in that circle.

once you are happy and the animation works, you can just delete that cut layer. now the animation is done and looks like this:

III. SECOND ANIMATION

one you have done it on the left side, you just gotta do the same thing on the right side. you can also try duplicating it, but i found it finicky for some reason (or maybe i'm just not used to the controls of this 2019 photoshop version?).

this is what i have once i've done the same thing on the right reel:

once i am happy with the speed and everything, i want to have only one layer so it's easier to use on gifs. first, i will save this animation as a psd file, in case i want to reuse it. then i am removing the song title layer and will be flattening everything and creating frames from this animation. to do so i am using the "save" action from here.

i'm not sure why it does that, but it's creating a couple of frames where the reels are a bit offset from their position everytime there's a full circle done, so i just delete these 5-6 frames. you can also change the speed here, but by default it should be 0.05.

once you are happy with it, just turn these frames into a smart object with the video timeline again (convert frame animation to video timeline and select all the frame layers > right click > convert to smart object)

now you have a smart object that is ready to be used anywhere!

IV. FINAL TOUCHES

for my particular speak now gifset, i have multiple layers of the animated cassette on each gif:

1, bottom one - cassette layer set to the blending mode "hard light" and set to opacity 86%:

2, middle - this same cassette layer set to hard light, but with the opacity at 100%, AND with a layer mask so it's only applied to the animated reels (i wanted them to show up more):

3, top one - and finally a third layer with another layer mask because i wanted the white label and speak now area to be less see through. it's set to the normal blending mode and the opacity is at 75%

and then i just added the song title on top at 100% opacity and normal blending mode, and added some drop shadows, and tada!

there we have it, i hope this was helpful <3

[spidernuggets]

this is so tropey and cliché yet I cannot help but adore it sooo a calm chill peace n love pacifist type of gal who only uses computer skills/detective skills/whatnot for the titans but never violence. that is until some asshat takes jason hostage and reader to the sheer shock of everyone goes deathstroke level violent, demolishes everything, sneaks out alone to single handedly rescue jason whilst the titans are still tryna figure out a plan, and jason wakes up back in titans tower to find out that it wasn't a team effort to get him back, that reader did it all alone and killed the people who took him, jason is maybe a lil shit and is all thanks but I had the situation under control, and then he asks why she cares so much and she's like I don't but if they killed you I would kill everyone in this room and then myself 😊 👉👈

Jason Todd x Fem!Reader

Note: I'M SO SORRY IT'S TAKING SO LONG TO GET THIS OUT, BABES!!! I'M IN MY FINAL YEAR OF SCHOOL, AND I HAVE EXAMS LIKE EVERY WEEK REALLY HOPE YOU LIKE THIS CRIES. ALSO, the first part of this fic is kinda based on Jason and Gar's little moment before they go down to the subways.

"What are you doing now, nerd?" Jason walks into the computer room where yoh sat in front of the downgraded version of the Bat Computer. He leans against the edge, budging your leg with his to get your attention.

"That name is hypocritical, theatre nerd," you bite back.

"Holy shit, they're thespians, not theatre nerds."

"Same difference. Anyways, if you must know, Arkham Asylum's system broke down. Dick asked me to help them fix it. It's fine now, but a bunch of crims broke out. Some are back in, but a few handfuls are still out there. No one above Riddler level. We'll be fine," you say, leaning back on the chair, hands resting behind your head.

"Need any help, babe?" He asks.

You'd be a pathological liar if you said all the nicknames he gave you didn't make your face heat up. You always liked Jason. He has the smart potential that everybody else seems to refuse to see. But you appreciate it.

You shrug. "I dunno. You can if you want, I'm just trying to find where these criminals would be next. But it just looks like they're breaking in and stealing shit from wherever. They pick one building and then move on to a whole different area," you frown, unable to find a pattern.

Jason squints at the big screen. "Hey, zoom into that street over there," he points to the corner of the city's map. You furrow your brows, but oblige. "They're not targeting random buildings, sweet thing," he mutters.

"What? What do you mean?"

"Look. See those buildings there? They already have past records of breaking and entering, and robbery. These Arkham crims are targeting untouched places." Jason says, observing the area.

You then go on your own computer, searching the history of crime through Gotham. Sure, the majority of residents were witnesses or victims to these crimes, but there's still places that have been safe for a good while.

"Hey, all these buildings. I know them." He adds. "Bruce enforced higher security. They're aiming for Wayne Enterprise sponsored buildings!"

"How did I miss that?" You whisper to yourself. "Fuck, Jason, your a bloody genius." You missed the whiplash he got, looking at you in awe for such a simple compliment. "Alright, let me just go mark these locations and I'll go and let Dick know."

"Woah, woah," Jason holds your shoulder. "He doesn't need to know. He's already so busy. I'll handle them. You said it yourself, 'we'll be fine'." He says proudly.

You sighed. "Jay, I know you'd be fine. What's not fine is knowing for a fact that you'd show no mercy and probably make all of them bite the curb." You crossed your arms, folding one leg over your other.

"Ugh, c'mon, Y/n. I promise I won't, and I promise I'll be safe. Dick and the other guys need to know that I can do shit on my own!" He starts to beg. You always knew how important Robin is to him. You were actually impressed about how passionate he was to a mask.

You sighed again, staring at the floor while thinking. "Fine. But you need to be wired. At least be in contact with me. The moment you get into trouble, you call me, I'll get the others to help."

"Why don't you just come out with me? I know you git them badass combat skills?" Then, Jason gives you those eyes for when he asks you for something, and shamefully, you always give in. Not this time.

"Jay, you know why. Even just giving someone a oetty slap just doesn't do it for me."

"Yeah, yeah I know. But if you're ready to throw a punch, make sure I'm there to see," Jason winks as he's about to leave to suit up. But you call out to him.

"Jason." He turns. "You don't need to prove yourself to anyone. Not to me at least," you gave him a sympathetic look. Jason just gives a slight nod in return before turning again and leaving to get ready.

"You sent Jason out there?!" Dick storms into your room without knocking.

You were sat on your bed, holding your hands up. "Woah, man, I could've been changing or something," you say nonchalantly. "Jason will be fine, Dick. He is capable enough of defending himself. Besides, I have him wired, so if he needs help, he can contact me." You say, eyes focused on the laptop placed on your legs.

"Okay, genius, then why did Hank inform me just now that Jason's unresponsive and that his tracker has been disconnected!" Dick yells at you. You stop typing.

"I'm sorry," you choke out a sarcastic laugh, getting off your bed, walking out of your room, Dick following suit. "What? It sounds like you're saying someone cut off all connections that Jason has to us," you said, hoping that you heard wrong or that it was some lame, insensitve prank. You walk into the debriefing room, where the other Titans were. And to prove what Dick said was true, the screens showed that there were no signs of Jason, his tracker, or his wire.

"That's exactly what I'm saying." Dick replies sternly. "Jason's gone missing, possibly kidnapped. Why didn't you tell me he was going out?! Why didn't you tell us?"

Hank chimes in. "Yeah, kid. You know how reckless Jason can be-"

You chucked your laptop to the wall, completely smashing it, the screen chipping everywhere, and the keys scattering across the floor. It instantly made the room dead silent.

You stayed silent, too. You said nothing, giving the others no explanation to your sudden, quiet outburst, and headed back to your room.

From behind you can hear Dick sigh, and preoare everyone to find Jason.

You had other plans.

You didn't know where Jason could be. But from the tracker, you can pinpoint his last known location. Not that you told Dick or even Bruce, but you managed to connect your smartwatch to Jason's tracker. No, you are not a stalker... is what you always repeated to yourself. You just wanted to be the first one to always be sure that your spontaneous friend is okay. And look at what good it's doing.

Opening your closet, deep in the back, situated your throwing knives and flame thrower.

"Come to mama," you whispered. Sure, the use of violence is more or less a disturbance to you. But these assholes have your friend hostage. And you know that if you stay with the others, they'd slow you down.

You packed a backpack with everything you think you'd need, and you climbed out your window and ran to where Jason was seen last. You didn't have a hero suit of your own, seeing as you refused to kick ass with the others. Oh, well, you thought. A face mask would do you good.

You ended up in the outskirts of the city. There was no noise, and no Jason. But there was blood. Possibly his.

Unfortunately, there were only splatters and no trails that could guide you.

"Well, aren't you a pretty little thing?" A deeo, raspy voice said behind you.

You turn around and tilted your head. "Hello. I'm lookin' for a friend. About yay high, black domino mask, Christmas coloured superhero suit with an R on the left breast of the chest plate. Goes by the name Robin. You seen him anywhere?" You politely ask.

The gruffy man hummed. "Hmm. Show me what you're made of little lady, and I might spill a secret or two," he disgustingly smirks.

You shrug. "Since you asked so nicely." Swiftly, you threw a knife at him, slicing right through his shoulder as the man howls in agony.

"YOU BITCH," he screams.

You slowly walk up to him, and right as he tries to throw a punch, you dug, slicing his leg with another one of your knives, making him tumble to the concrete.

As he lays on his back, you tower over him, your foot resting on top of the knife that was impaled through his shoulder, making him cry out in pain.

"Now you listen to me, pretty little thing," you smile, mocming him. "After this, you're going to live. Because the sight of a dead body makes me gag. But the catch is," You reach for your flamethrower from your back, pointing it to the man's crotch as he whimpers in fear. "You're gonna be walkin' around with a fried dick. So what's it gonna be? Giving me a location? Or giving yourself a grilled sausage?"

You blink twice before he yells and reveals where Jason is. "Thank you so much, sweetie," you smiled, moving the flamethrower away and your foot lifting off the knife, turning to go find your friend.

He sighs out in relief, but you then turn back around. Saying nothing else, you point the flamethrower at his face, setting it off, letting the flames char his skin.

You hide behind crates in a dimly lit, abandoned warehouse, trying to search for Jason. You then go into a different room, and upon going in, you see a figure tied up in a chair, mouth covered in a dirty rag and a blindfold over his eyes.

My poor- shit. I mean. Poor Jason. You think.

The room was empty. It's an opportunity for you to help him. You cut the ropes, take the rag, and blindfold off.

"Jay?" You whispered. "Jason, wake up, c'mon we gotta go." It was no use.

"So you're the little gal burning up faces," another rough voice says.

You stand up straight, facing the significantly larger man in front of you. "Why does everyone keep calling me that? I'm the average height," you complained, crossing your arms.

The man grunts, snapping his fingers. Then, what seemed to be a whole army of men dressed in black and white striped jumpsuits appeared from every corner, with crooked grins and nasal chuckles.

"Naw, but you'd be cut, chopped, and sliced into little pieces after we're done with you, little thing," he smiles.

"All of you against me?" You pouted. Well, that's just not fair, is it? How about a little disadvantage for you guys." You threw knives in all light sources, smashing the bulbs, now with the only source of ligbt being the moon shining out from a window or two.

You quickly whip out night vision goggles, activating them and your flamethrower ready in your hands.

You start blasting at all the men that attempt (and failed) to attack you, quickly burning their faces, hands, legs, all over their bodies.

All you could hear were the sounds of their writhing pain. You also made sure to stay close to Jason, making sure no one tried to hurt him.

Just as you were about to roast another guy, your flamethrower suddenly ran out of fuel.

"Well, shit," you muttered to yourself. "Old fashioned, it is."

You used the flamethrower itself as a combat weapon, hurling it through their guts and crotches, any of their most vulnerable areas.

The last guy to go down was the supposed leader. You smash the flamethrower into his head, probably leaving a dent, and he falls to the ground. You then take out any knives that remain, stabbing them through bith his shoulders and shins.

You took out your remaining anger and adrenaline out on him by using the flamethrower, striking it against his abdomen.

"Asshole! Perveted! Kidnapping! Ugly! Son! Of! A! Bitch!" You exclaim with every blow.

You pants, looking around the room full of unconscious men. Even the one in the cape.

You lift him up, throwing his arm over your shoulder, beginning to haul him out of the warehouse.

By the time Jason woke uo, his head was spinning, his throat was dry, and his vision was blurry. He sits uo, trying to stay still to focus his vision. He then notices that his shirt is off and his torso is bandaged. There were also many patches all over his face.

He slowly gets uo from bed, wincing at the pain. On his nightstand, he sees a glass of water, pills and a sticky note.

"Take the pill and drink all the water, theatre nerd

- Other Nerd."

Jason couldn't help but smile at the little message and consideration. He did as was told, swallowing the pill and gulping down the water.

Wanting to get into bed, he heard voices coming out of his room. He leans against his dokr, trying to listen.

"Half of those guys are in death threatening condition! The other half have permanently damaged bones! You killed a guy, Y/n! When the fuck do you even kill!" It was Dick. Who seemed pissed. Wait.

Did he just put your name and the word kill in the same sentence?

"What was I meant to do, Dick? Lock them up and wait for them to escape again? You and I both know the justice system is bullshit!" You spit back.

"That doesn't make you the judge of death, Y/n!"

"What-Fucking-Ever! Here's an idea! Maybe if you had just a little faith in Jason, he wouldn't feel the need to go out there! He was just trying to help! You're his older brother. Act like it!" You bite, not wanting to hear another word coming out of Dick's mouth, and stormed into Jason's room.

Too bad you didn't know he was leaning on the other side of the door.

He grunts heavily, and you shove the door against him.

"Shit! Jay, what the hell are you doing out of bed!" You scold him, taking him by the arm and leading him back to bed.

"Hello to you too, nerd," he mumbles, lying back down.

"You just wake up? How you feelin'?" Your hand rests against his face.

"I'm fine. What happened?" He replies groggily.

You sighed, sitting on the floor, resting your chin on the edge of the bed. "You got kidnapped. Your tracker and wire went offline."

"So what were you and Dick arguing about?" His brows knit together.

Your head tilted so that you were leaning on your cheek.

"Just tell me, nerd," he scoffed.

"Went to save you on my own. Killed a guy," you shamefully admitted.

He smiled in disbelief. "I thought I was fuckin' hallucinating. Fuck, wished I was conscious to see you in action. You didn't even need to get me, nerd. I had everything under control." He scoffs at the end.

"Mm.. Okay, Mr. black eye and stabbed stomach," you reply tiredly, while poking his nose.

Jason sighs and stares at the ceiling. "Thanks." He mutters.You smile.

"Hm? What was that?" You tease.

"I'm not saying it again. You know what I said."

"Yeah, yeah. I know." You admire the side of his face.

"Why? Why go through all that, Y/n? You haven't even punched a person in who knows how long. And suddenly you put people in the hospital and kill someone? I don't understand," Jason suddenly says, turning to face you.

You look back at him. "They took you."

He shook his head, unsatisfied. "No. That's bullshit. Gar and Conner got kidnapped once. You didn't kill people then."

You looked away. "They aren't you." You mumble.

"So what? What the hell's so special about me, Y/n? Why do you care so much?" Jason was confused. He wanted answers as to why someone could care so much for him. He wanted to know why someone who doesn't believe in violence would kill for him when even his own family couldn't.

"I don't," you tried to excuse yourself. "But if they killed you, I would've killed everyone, and the Titans, and then myself," you casually say, still avoiding his gaze.

Jason couldn't help but snicker. "Sounds very caring to me, nerd," he lowly says.

You hum. "Mm, whatever."

He then dramatically sighs. "You know what, sweetheart. It's pretty cold up here. And I assume the floor isn't as comfortable as the bed," there's a look of both want and need in his eyes.

You smile. "What? Wamt a blankie?" You teased.

"Fuck, just come up here," he scoffed, rolling his eyes.

You said nothing else. Just quickly obliged, going around to the other side of the bed, lying beside him.

"You're too far," he complains.

"I'm gonna mess up your bandages," you pout.

"You're so stubborn," Jason says, using his gokd arm to pull you closer, making your head lay on his chest.

"You're one to talk," you snap, though nestling your head into his warmth.

He just hums in response, letting his lips linger on the crown of your head.

I'M SORRY AGAIN, ANON. this is probably lame... and I didn't know how to end it

cries 🥲

[yestrday]

ok so maybe you're gonna get tired of the whole bodyparts academy au BUT I've been brainrotting so hard my brain is like melting out of my ears dawg... i gotta get this out of my system or it WILL consume me... you know aethers like outfit?? his abdomen area(? idk waht its called english hard lol) hasnt left my mind its just/?!?!?!?! THE WAIST????? (men and their slutty waists smh) it just looks sooo good I want to bite and like put my hands on him and just manhandle him grraravdjñ, SO LIKE just imagine academy au mc jus kind of like obsessed with his abdomen area (again sorry dont know what its called 😭) who just coincidentally has their hands on his waist like ALL the time, and im just so curious abt how aether would react, would he show off?? would he be shy??? would he be running laps and screaming??? (idk how to end this im sorry words aren't wording how they should lmaoo)

the unbelievably deep sigh i just had when I saw this ask. and yet here I am, the sucker and fool. ready to do anything for genshin men and their impeccable body measurements.

i actually wrote something like this already 😭but I wanted to cop a feel for academy aether's tummy too yknow? or maybe I just cannot control myself when it comes to the twins

you might like: teyvat! aether and his little tummy <;33

oh, please. aether knows he's pretty. he is lumine's twin brother, after all! even before coming to this school he's turned heads left and right, so surely he could use his good looks to seduce the person of his dreams, right?

wrong.

whenever you snatch him by the waist, it’s protectiveness and not the perverted fondling he’d rather you’d do to him. aether is, after all, cute and petite. he looks like he can be easily overpowered by any of the students here and you just have that natural urge to protect him! you don’t know that aether can easily oneshot most of your harem members, but even if you did, what exactly would change?

when aether skips over to your side, you smile fondly at him and hug him by the waist to your side. it gets his heart pumping whenever you do that, hiding his flushed face behind his textbooks so you won’t suspect a thing. disappointment always floods his insides when you look at him like a brother and not a potential love interest. your waist is so small! you say like a naggy mother. you have to eat more!

it’s frustrating! lumine has to watch his brother scream into his pillow every night from her side of the room. she rolls over and tries to drown out his screams with a pillow.

“aether!” you one day call out to him. your bright smile once again beckons him to your side. he yelps when you slide a firm hand around his waist and pull him to your lap. his cheeks flush when hug him closer to your chest, and it takes everything out of him not to squirm. “i’ve got something to show you!” your breath tickles his ear and sends tingles down his spine. 

shuddering out a sigh, he forces a shaky grin as he tries his best to look enthusiastic. “is this about the anime you sent me last week?” you brighten up at his remembrance and chatter on and on to him. he makes his remarks too, fueling the conversation, and as it goes on your hands continue to rover about his abdomen. you’re such a mean senior, not even noticing the bright red blush on his face! was this on purpose? it has to be!

a single feather-like stroke of his abdomen sends him shuddering and keeling over. he gasps into your collarbone, hiding his blush and heart-eyed expression. “you’re so mean, senpai,” he whimpers into your skin. “teasing me like this...”

“i-i’m sorry...” the tension of the situation has now finally dawned on you, and you blush when you feel aether’s lips quivering on your skin. “i didn’t realize that...”

your words trail off as temptation seizes your hand to feel up his abdomen once more. toned as they were, the curves seemed so tiny and fragile as they fit into your hands. a lean and slender body, yet supple enough to serve as canvas for your marks...

ah, no! what kind of senior are you, teaching such lecherous thoughts of your junior! and yet... and yet...! your eyes dart to the corner, where the blonde student is currently shaking in your grasp. the cute and helpful transfer student who you viewed as a brother now looked more and more like prey in your hands. you gulp.

“i’m sorry, aether,” you whisper, sending an excited rush through his body. “but you look so pretty now...”

his tongue feels like lead as it quivers in his mouth, but when you settle him down on the couch and hover above him, he giggles like the closeted perverted maniac that he is.

“no worries, senpai ♡~” he laughs, bringing you closer by the neck. “make sure to appreciate me more okay?”

perhaps he’ll start rolling up his uniform after this, just to make the rest of your harem jealous ☆

[brights-place]

Synth x s/o with panick attacks comfort? Love your writing your actually amazing :3

Synth comforting his S/o

Pairings: Synth X Reader

Warnings: Fluff, Panic attacks, Anxiety

A/N: Synth is such an cutie I love him so much! GOD HE'S SUCH AN CUTE GOLDEN RETRIEVER BOY! I headcannon him with ADHD btw cause he shows some aspect and my friend also agreed on it

- You never cease to be surprised with synth with every day you spend together which is everyday as he discovers something new about you no matter how small and how you notice things about you too... even when how hard you try to hide your sadness and insecurities - Like I said Synth wasn’t the most emotionally aware troll so he finds it hard to understand your emotions sometimes

- It takes him awhile but he gets there just for you and just to see you smile again cause if your not smiling he wouldn’t know what to do. - Synth would stare at you confused as you were biting your lip while you both were at a rave - You weren't hyper or dancing with him so he noticed it quickly since you would always laugh with him dancing together but you weren't doing that - He just stared confused before taking your hand and pulling you away after nodding to trollex meaning Synth was gonna be helping you - He took you to an calmer area "(Name)- Uhm" He looked around nervously before making you sit down as you stared at the floor before tearing up "OH! I KNOW WHAT TO DO!" Synth said excitedly when seeing you tear up he swam off and came right back with items in his hands - He placed an seaweed blanket over you and handed you some of your favourite food - He just sits beside you waiting patiently but he is hearing the loudness of teh rave so he bops his head and smiles at you as you sniffle - You knew that The reason Synth likes raves so much is because he feels like it's the only time he can let loose and be free without worrying about anything else. He can let go of all his fears and anxieties and just have fun, knowing that everyone around him is doing the same. - Yet you couldn't help but relax that he was with you atleast - Synth paused and leaned in to you "sooo..." Synth started "Wanna talk about it?" Synth said taking your hand and lifting it up to cup his face as you smiled softly "No it would be a bother Honey" You muttered as Synth hummed leaning into your hand and smiling at you - You couldn't help but admire your lover. Synth always has a big smile on his face, even when things are difficult, and he can often be the light in the darkness... He is the sun to your moon - He reminds you that things will get better and that everyone has their own strengths and talents.

- He can see the beauty in everyone and always tries to highlight the best parts of each person.

- He never judges anyone for their past failures or mistakes, and he always seems to have the right thing to say to comfort them... and thats what he is doing right now trying his best to comfort you - You let out a sigh as synth cuddled you and join you in the seaweed blanket "I dont know... I just feel overwhelmed... you know?" Synth stared listening the best he could even with His ADHD you knew he was doing his best - His large doe eyes stared at you like an golden retriever smiling up at their owner - Synth stared listening as you ranted to him about how you were feeling this whole week. You felt drained and tired and you weren't feeling good yet you didn't know why you felt drained and tired - Synth is always there for you aka lover when you needed someone to talk to or to comfort them. He listens without judgment and provides support, understanding, and affection for you - he just nodded listening as you relaxed as he cuddled into you and kissed your lips for an moment which relaxed you as he pulled away "I understand that!" you smiled "You do?" Synth nodded "I mean I'm hyper 34/7 365 days every year but there's always one day or some longer that makes me feel tired! but I always get back up! and so will you!" Synth said happily as you sighed - He nuzzled into you and kissed your cheek as you cupped your cheek that he kissed before giggling and turning to Synth peppering his face with kisses as he smiled happily

- He makes sure to treat your feelings as seriously as he would want his to he treated so he makes sure that you are pampered with kisses

- He is always willing to go out of his way to make you happy as he makes sure you are relaxed and calm

- Synth is also very sweet and affectionate and always makes sure to tell you how much he loves and appreciates you for dating him and how he appreciates you opening up to him

- As the rave music in the background was soft and quiet Synth stood up and sticked out his hand towards you "You may feel down but you know what makes me happy? and I think the same would work for you" Synth said as you laughed "Dancing to the beats in the background" You replied raising an brow chuckling as Synth nodded quickly - You took his hand as he smiled bopping up and down as you giggled joining him dancing to the techno music and vibing together as you smiled at how he was hyper and always made sure to kiss your cheek when you were close beside each other while dancing - You knew synth isn't that great with emotions but he was doing his best and cared for you and you wouldn't change it at all. - Him just being there with you and smiling while making sure your hyped up with the music is enough for you too know that he loves you and wants you to fight of these feelings with something he knew that could make you feel better.

reblogs + comments are appreciated ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

©brights-place 2023 — do not repost on another platform, copy, translate or edit my works! if you fit my DNI list please don't interact

[greyskyflowers]

I'm always on a Visored/Ichigo kick but it's been especially bad lately. Sooo have some little hollow instinct AU?? plot bunnies that won't get bigger than this but still wanted to hop around.

Is it trauma, power dynamics, or hollow instincts? The world may never know.

The world does actually know and it's all three.

⚠️ Some strange relationship and/or combination of Visored/Ichigo/Kisuke because that's my jam and I'm partying alone. ⚠️

💀💀💀💀

Ichigo doesn't know what he looks like when he's like this. No one else knows either, which is a good thing because people have destroyed and conquered worlds for less.

Long limbs sprawled, belly down and back exposed. There's a blanket drapped over his hips more for the comforting weight than any warmth. His tan skin glows in the low lighting and his hair looks like soft embers.

He smells like them. He looks like theirs. He's sleeping in their space. It hits a lot of things they knew would appeal to them but not to this extent.

He's taken their advice to heart, about getting familiar with the new hollow instincts and just do what feels right. At least until he's able to separate the things that are more him and more hollow.

It's driving them nuts. He's shameless and he doesn't even know it.

He presses his face against their faces and throats, the bridge of his nose pressing against the underside of their jaws and nuzzling real quick before darting off. The scent of him clinging to them and the submissive gesture, ducking to press under their jaw, is addicting.

It's a intimate greeting, one they don't even really give to each other but Ichigo uses it multiple times a day. A happy, warm and loving gesture that says hihelloimhereandyourehereandimveryhappy each time he does it. They kind of dread him figuring out how personal it is because he'll stop.

He makes himself small when he's anxious or scared, when he lets himself act his age for once. He holds himself well, they'll give him that. It's hard to tell unless he wants you to know but there are signs they pick up on, along with Kisuke's hints.

It's easier to be vulnerable at night, when it's dark and it doesn't seem so bad to seek out warmth and comfort.

They're particular about sleeping arrangements. They don't like others in the same area as them while they sleep. They puppy pile, as Mashiro happily calls it, not able to fully relax unless they're tangled up with at least 3 other people. The only people in the world they trust completely, with every part of their souls, and Kisuke.

And apparently Ichigo because he slips right in, and not only does he sneak in without kicking off their instincts but gets up against their throats without so much as a twitch from them. He stays above the blankets and avoids the mess of limbs, which is both smart and makes them frown. Desperate for comfort but still holding himself back, he probably would have tried to leave without them noticing if they hadn't woken up

The jackrabbit heartbeat and shaky breathing is what actually wakes them up.

There's a brief moment where everyone kind of freezes as they process what's happening, and then wait to see which one of them will kick him out, which of them will crack first at having a stranger in their space.

But it doesn't happen.

Everything stays silent and still except for the shaky breathing still coming from Ichigo, they swear they can hear feel his heart pounding, and a little keening noise that's so faint they miss it at first. It zips up their spines as soon as they notice, it's like a straight shot of adrenaline and a protective awareness surges in their chests.

They know there's no actual threat, they would have felt it, and they know that the kid just had a nightmare or was thinking too hard and worked himself up. But it doesn't seem like their instincts understand that.

They've never made that sound, not a single one of them ever, and they've made some weird noises. It's a terrible sad, lonely, scared noise and they don't ever want to hear it again.

This all happens in the span of a few minutes, enough for Ichigo to start calming down a little. He's not as tense and his breathing has gotten slower. Not enough to indicate he's asleep yet but he's on his way.

They all squish in closer and Ichigo falls right asleep, his cold nose and wet cheeks pressed into warm skin.

Hollows do not purr like cats, at least in their experience, but they swear to god they all woke up to purring at different times during the night.

💀💀💀💀

Ichigo starts sitting between their legs, most often when he's injured. Not kneeling, although that's a pretty picture, just sitting down so he's bracketed on both sides by their legs, back to them. Safe.

Lisa and Mashiro play with his hair, Lisa mindlessly as she flips through her magazine and Mashiro makes tiny braids before taking them out and starting over.

Kensei doesn't do much, usually puts his elbows on his knees so he's curved protectively over Ichigo. Occasionally rubbing his knuckles on Ichigo's jaw and petting at his throat.

Shinji tries to always keep a hand on him, tangled in his hair, resting on the side of his throat, or brushing against his cheek.

Ichigo doesn't do it often or around other people and they all try to respect that. He has to be Ichigo, strong, stubborn, impossible, and the one people look to.

💀💀💀💀

The thing people forget is that while wounds heal, the body and soul remember.

It can be a lot of strain, going in and out of his human body so frequently, especially when both soul and body are so familiar with stress, bruises and breaks.

Ichigo may heal quicker than most with his hollow and access to good healers but the echoes linger longer than most others. Especially when injuries are made with intention. Wounds from hollows hurt of course, but there's usually not a lot of thought behind it. So the wounds are more random, varying depths and severity.

Wounds by people shinigami, bounts, quincy, etc are more precise. They know where to aim to make it devastating, agonizing, and life changing.

Ichigo has fought a lot of people and it shows.

He bares his burdens and more in front of people like he's fine. He smiles and laughs, meets all the demands for fights with his own wild grin, moves like he's never had a injury in his life and people don't question it.

There's an area of his chest, and his back, that burn. A few spots of a constant and deep heat that make breathing feel hard.

His shoulders itch and ache, the kind that feels like it's down under the muscle. Nothing helps and lifting his arms is difficult.

A long, dragging catch following the lines of his lower ribcage. Breathing too deeply makes it burn and crackle in sharp pain, short and shallow breaths aren't satisfying but it keeps the pain manageable.

Headaches from countless concussions, a sore jaw from all the times it's been broke, fingers and toes that don't feel right anymore and ache terribly in the cold.

It's not all the time, just occasionally. Things like going back and forth too many times from his body, extreme temperatures, new wounds over the old, etc all cause flare ups.

He's too young to have so many aches.

They're protective over those spots. They can't and won't interfere with his fights unless it's critical but they keep an eye on wounds in those areas. They frown and scare off people when Ichigo starts to flinch from heavy arms being thrown around his shoulders or careless jabs in his side.

Sometimes their old wounds flare up and Ichigo scowls and bares teeth at everyone until the aches goes away.

[catboybiologist]

I'm trans! Here's a way-too-long ramble on my internal thoughts on that!

My other posts on this:

https://www.tumblr.com/catboybiologist/725852054829023232/im-going-to-document-some-things-about-my?source=share

https://www.tumblr.com/catboybiologist/725851397783011328/the-short-answer-is-no-but-im-gonna-have-a?source=share

So yay I’m trans! Which like, is neither unexpected nor abnormal for the community I’ve fostered here, so I’m guessing most of y’all’s reactions is just a “hey cool”. But, you see the online side of me, not the irl side, so there’s still a lot of thoughts to sort out on my end. So I’m dumping a lot of thoughts here to sort all that out. And hoooly shit, it got very long, and I still feel like I have more to say… but yeah. If you wanna hear some perspectives on my relation to gender, transness, and femboy culture, read on!

I guess the best way I can think to style this is as an interview with an imaginary third person, sooo…. Bold text is questions I can imagine people having LOL

So what’s my own personal relationship with the term femboy, catboy, and gendered terminology in general? Is the name of your accounts gonna change?

Short answer, no. I like the name CatboyBiologist. “Catboy” itself is a term that is completely untethered from gender at this point to me. Tbqh, the “cat” part feels more wrong than the boy part- as time goes on, I’ve generally ditched the cat ears for most of my outfits as I take them a bit more seriously. Maybe that’ll change when my transition actually starts, but for now, CatboyBiologist stays, and the femboy related language stays in all of my own past posts (keyword, past- more on that in a bit).

I’m not gonna be updating my approach to pronouns. Any pronouns do just fine, I’m sending a vibe into the world and pronouns are my feedback as to what other people interpret that vibe is. Default to they/them if you don’t know what to do with that.

I will be updating my pinned post to link all of these posts, but mostly copy/paste the information from before. That might take a moment cuz I’m lazy, tbh.

And let’s get something else out of the way.

I’m not socially transitioning yet, and probably won’t for a while.

Which, I think leads to a lot of follow up:

Well, why not?

I present fully male and masculine on a day to day basis, and look the part too. Part of it is just this looks insecurity. The mask stays on in my pictures for a reason. Beyond just facial hair (which grows aggressively on me and always shows some shadow), my face looks pretty masculine overall. It takes time to look the way I do in my posts. I wanna give my face and body some time to change so I can look more femme in more casual ways before I present it to the world.

Beyond that, I’m also just worried about being “accepted” as femme straight off the bat. Implicitly, I know this will be easier if I already have some small amounts of physical feminization down my belt.

There’s two main environments that worry me: family, and professionally. Family is a weird hot mess grey area that is too personal to talk about here, but the professional atmosphere is certainly going to be a bit… weird. I live in an accepting geographic region, and around people who are very outspokenly trans supportive…. But most of whom are cishet and simply don’t have a lot of experience seeing or working around trans people. I’m more afraid of being seen as “trans first, biologist second” as far as my career is concerned, than I am about outright transphobia. I know this will never fully go away, and given that I’m 6’2”, I’ll probably never “fully” pass- but I’d at least like people to implicitly read my as femme on a gut level before I start changing how I present that way. One thing my irl femboy experience has shown me is that, even if people can “clock” you intellectually, the way their gut instinct reads you affects whether they treat you as masc or femme. I hope that makes sense on some level. Of course its always going to be an awkward shift, but I hope some time on HRT will make it less awkward.

I’ve come out to one person that doesn’t know about this online persona, or the depths of my queerness. They straight up told me they were shocked. They were incredibly supportive, but they told me they didn’t see it coming at all. And they already knew that I “crossdressed occasionally”. So that’s kinda what I’m working with here.

Essentially, I’m not actually truly “transitioning” in a real sense yet. More than that, I feel like I’m getting the ball rolling. If there’s anything I learned in my research, it’s that HRT takes a while, much longer than anyone expects (suppressing my rant about how the media cherrypicks people in early transition for trans representation and the effect that has on public perception). Two years is often cited as the “end” point, but based on both scientific and anecdotal accounts, that is wildly untrue and variable. I also know that the first changes onset quickly (skin and mood, most notably), but that overall body shape changes sometimes take a VERY long time to start and progress. So to be quite honest, I barely feel like I’m transitioning yet, I’m just laying groundwork for the future.

So yeah. I’m gonna be boymoding for a bit. Possibly a year or more. Even for the people who know, I’ve still asked them to address me as he/him or they/them, and use my masculine name for now (haven’t even really decided on a femme name yet, although I have ideas [open to suggestions as well]).

Wait, so why address it online at all?

Put simply, honesty. I’m displaying a lot of selfies and experimentation with my look here, and I want to make it abundantly clear what I’m doing to have an effect on that. People have asked me if I’m on HRT in comments before, and like, I’m not gonna lie about that. Might as well also make a shitpost, a data gathering post, and a too-long ramble about it as well (which you’re reading now!).

There are a LOT of body image issues in femboy spaces (and trans spaces too!), often among very young people. While I have no issue with people on HRT continuing to call themselves a femboy (more on that in a bit), I do think transparency on that matter is helpful for those body image issues.

So to make it abundantly clear: all of my selfies and pictures that I’m labeling and tagging as “femboy” are pre-HRT. In the future, everything I tag with “trans” is post-HRT. I still got 1-2 weeks before actually starting, and I’m still going to use the femboy tag for any outfits I post during that time. The moment an estradiol pill hits my mouth, though, new pics will use trans tags.

Posts that relate to discussion of the interplay of the communities, and how I view myself within them, I’ll tag with both.

Which leads to another follow up question. This one isn’t about me specifically, but it’s my hot take about a certain brand of trans discourse I’ve seen around (mostly on reddit tbh):

Why would someone who knows they’re mtf trans willingly call themselves a femboy and/or request people to “misgender” them?

So this is actually gonna be striking a nerve with me, and I know I’m gonna kinda be strawmanning here by arguing against the ghost of reddit comments past. I’m not gonna try to dig any of them up in the internet archive, but they are sentiments I’ve seen multiple times.

I’ve seen this question almost word for word in the comments of trans subreddits multiple times. Imma be blunt, and it’s maybe gonna sound a little mean. If this thought is going through your head, you’re likely way more sensitive and particular about labels than most people. And that’s okay! Ask people to address you how you want, you deserve that respect! But the real answer to this question is that many people simply don’t mind being called whatever label is most useful or familiar to themselves in various contexts.

The moment that it becomes completely unacceptable is when someone does actually change their pronouns, name, presentation, etc, and people still address them as “male” or “femboy”. That is completely the fuck out of line, and if you don’t agree, fuck off.

Why does this strike a little bit of a nerve with me? Well, the “conclusion” I saw reached in these trans spaces multiple times when the subject was brought up was annoying as hell. That conclusion was that the only or primary reason that people labeled themselves a femboy, even while on HRT… was to sell their onlyfans. My fucking god, seriously? This is just conservative rhetoric. Luckily, on tumblr, it seems that people are a lot more accepting towards people using whatever language they like to describe themselves, which I’ve enjoyed a lot.

I’ve also had a lot of hate towards “fencesitting” directed at me on reddit, from trans people, for calling myself a femboy. I can’t remember it verbatim, but I very distinctly recall getting a DM that went something like “I fucking hate femboys, just transition already. You’re making us (transfemmes) look bad.” So yeah. Bit of a sore spot.

Yadda yadda yadda the personal journey shit

If I can be real for a moment…. In an ideal world, I would still want to be a part time femboy. Even moreso than the sheer utility of it all (eg, enjoy cis male privilege when I want, but still get treated more femme in certain contexts), it feels almost more profound to fuck with gender norms without sitting on one side of the gender line or another. But I can’t really ignore what I’ve described as my “mental resting state”- a baseline crackle of dysphoria that fills the space in my head when there’s nothing else to fill it. It’s easily distracted, but its always there, and I can’t imagine living my life that way anymore.

I’ve pretty much known I was trans since I was about 12, and had a realization that puberty was just starting to hit me, and I hated it. I suppressed it deeply, for many, many reasons that I don’t think I want to share here. But it made a lot of other mental health struggles in my life a lot worse, even if I didn’t consciously acknowledge that’s what was happening. By the time I was willing to consciously acknowledge it, I realized that my dysphoria wasn’t so bad as to dive in right away. But, I made moves to stabilize my life overall, which have been massively beneficial to me in other ways as well.

During the pandemic, I found myself living alone for the first time ever. So during the pandemic, in one last ditch effort to try to convince myself I wasn’t trans, I delved into femboy aesthetics to try and “just be a feminine man”.

That failed.

So yeah, here I am. I have a wonderful queer community both irl and online, a meagre but stable income, health insurance that has great coverage for trans care, and accepting people around me in my life. It’s long overdue. Maybe I’ll beat myself up for waiting so long and masculinizing so much as a result, but I don’t think I really could have done it any other way.

This all said, I don’t actually really consider myself a woman yet. I’m sure many of you are aware of two different ways transfemmes view themselves(and trans people in general, but using a transfemme perspective here):

-Some view themselves as having always been girls or women, but took some time to realize it and make their body more comfortable for themselves with that information.

-Others view themselves as boys or men who made efforts to become women later.

I fall strongly in the second line of thinking for myself. For my own personal experiences, even though I have felt dysphoria for a long time, I don’t really think I’m “actually” a woman yet. I don’t know what my identity as a woman looks like yet. But I deeply want to discover and create who that person is, and there’s no way to do that without transitioning.

B but… BASIC BIOLOGY!!!!!

How many biology degrees do you have? I got a BS and an MS, and I’m working on my PhD. I’m sure you’ve brought a similar level of expertise to this discussion.

But seriously, I could genuinely write an entire fucking essay about how studying biology has influenced my views on this subject, but honestly, that’s an entirely different topic. But tl;dr is that bioessentialism is brainrot, and if someone tries to use essentialist language to “justify” someone’s transness (or gender in general)… well, I think they’re wrong. Plain and simple. We don’t say someone isn’t “really able to see” if they put glasses in front of their eyes.

I’m stopping myself before I write more here, because this warrants another post or even a fucking video essay, to be quite honest. But yeah. Biology based.

Conclusion?

Uhhhh… in conclusion, I’m not particular about language or pronouns you use for me, I’m making posts about it anyways to ensure honesty associated with my selfies, if you’re transphobic jump of the tallest bridge you can find. I think that about covers it.

[peachirambles]

hii!!! your headcanons for the OL characters are so cute!!! Would you mind if I requested headcanons or a short fic/drabble on how step 2 Qiu would spend his time with an MC who equally is hating life at that stage and just what they would do either at school or after school/on weekends. (Hint hint they’re both absolutely smitten with eachother)

OMG THANK YOU!!! I always get worried im not writing them accurately 😭😭😭

Originally, I was thinking of doing headcanons for this, but I like the idea I had for this drabble instead sooo here we go! This might be a bit shorter than usual, super sorry about that! Hopefully this isn't too OOC, but i do think Qiu would *try* to distract the mc somehow

"Where are we going?" The MC quipped, hugging Qiu's back with a strength that betrayed them as the duo zipped down Acorn Road, or more precisely, their home street.

"Wherever." Was Qiu's nearly dismissive reply as they focused on the road ahead of them, much to the absolute shock of their passenger.

"What?!"

"Don't worry about it." Qiu snorted and they could hear the MC groan behind them.

Admittedly, Qiu didn’t want to tell them the truth that they were worried about them. They saw the MC's eyes go from excited and hopeful to tired and miserable as the years flew by, and it became apparent by this point they didn't enjoy their life as much as they did.

A part of Qiu was glad for it. It meant that they weren't alone in feeling like this, and that they could find solace in their very close friend.

The rest of them knew better, though. They knew that this wasn't good from their own personal experience. Qiu wanted to be there for them, someway and somehow. Even if it meant dragging them out of the house to do nothing but sit and ride with Qiu on their bike.

But Qiu wasn't 10 anymore. That big bubble of energy that they had got popped a long time ago, leaving nothing more than a tired and angry husk in its wake. Or at least that's how it felt, most of the time they just... couldn’t be bothered to try.

The MC, however, was a different story.

"Sooo... Do you really not have anywhere to go?" The MC spoke up again as they were riding in some of the residental areas. "Or are you just stringing me along for your enjoyment?"

"Can't I just go on a ride?" Qiu shot back as they made a turn onto another street. "Besides, it's nice to go out and get some fresh air."

"Weren't you the person I had to drag out of the fort they barely fit in a few days ago?"

"That was school." Qiu huffed, their mouth grimacing as the cold air hit their face. "This is different."

"What's different this time?" They could feel the MC's soft smirk in their voice without even looking.

"Well..." Qiu pulled onto main street, deftly avoiding cars and people alike. "It's not school, and two-"

Qiu paused, opting to slow down to pull up right next to the corner store, still looking as old as it was 4 years ago.

"You and I are by ourselves this time." They lazily smirked behind them, their eyes twinking as their poor favorite neighbor's face flooded with warmth, and they couldn’t help but sputter.

"And also because I wanted to go get snacks." Was Qiu's quick reply before the MC could even question their intent. But that's how they always were, Qiu knew that, drop a teasing line, and then immediately change the topic of discussion afterward. And they knew the MC knew too.

"You're such a jerk." The MC huffed, cheeks rosily tinted but there was no anger to be found in their voice.

"Would a jerk get you something from the corner store?" Qiu cocked an eyebrow as they tied their bike to a nearby poke with their chain.

"No, but you're different." The MC chuckled, and Qiu's smirk couldn't help but turn into a soft smile at the sound.

If Qiu couldn’t actually do anything to help the MC navigate this rough terrain of life, then they hoped they were at least a good distraction.

[mybiasisexo]

Entangled - Part 9

Pairing: Chanyeol x f.Reader Chapter Warnings: Alcohol Consumption | Language take a shot whenever you see the f word smh Word Count: 8.3k Author Notes: So...Im sorry 😬? But aye, what's a story without a beach chapter, am I right?? I can't believe how close we are to the finish line. I think we have 3 chapters left ??? give or take. wooow will I actually finish a story for the first time in my life?? (like a real one not just a lil scenario haha). Sorry for the late update, I was gonna post on yeols bday but thought this wasnt a great present lmfaooo As always, dont be shy with letting me know your thoughts on the chapter, a def will need to know how you all feel at the end of this one 😮‍💨. Thank you to everybody still rocking with the story, it means sooo much to me 💕 and give our boy chanyeol some loooove MWAH!!!

It doesn’t take Seulgi and you long to change and head down to the beach. Being able to see the guys from up in your room, you join them quickly.

They got their hands on a grill somehow, and you find Jongdae already cooking on it, beer in one hand.

“Already looking like a dad, Dae,” Seulgi announces in greeting, taking in his unbuttoned green Hawaiian shirt, oversized sunglasses, and fisherman’s hat. He grins brightly and rewards her with a fresh piece of juicy meat.   

Beside Jongdae and the grill sits a long table covered with food, drinks, and a bluetooth speaker currently playing chill R&B. A little further behind him is a blue canopy to block the blazing sun from your sensitive skin, chairs littered underneath it.

This area of the beach is privately owned, for hotel residents only. Despite how large the hotel is, only a few other families dot the shore, all far enough away that your little party is practically secluded.

You drop your bag onto a chair and dig into it, pulling out a bottle of sunscreen. You rub it into any skin of yours exposed before walking out of the canopy, holding it up for everyone to see. “Who needs some?”

Sehun and Jongin come running towards you, both only wearing swim trunks. You suck your teeth, their backs are probably already screaming at them.

Jongin gets to you first. You turn him around and begin to apply the protective lotion onto his back, where it will be hard for him to reach.

“We missed you last night,” he says.

“I know,” you reply. For some reason, your throat constricts, dragging your voice down to a deep mumble. “I’m sorry for leaving. I just….”

“I understand,” he says, patting one of your hands. Throwing his head back, he tosses you a sweet grin. You return his smile before handing him the bottle so that he can cover the rest of himself.

With Jongin preoccupied, Sehun makes his way over, already trying to get a read on you. He understands the language of your body enough to fill in blanks you don’t even know are empty.

“Good afternoon,” you greet, keeping your voice neutral. 

“He’s in the water,” is his reply.

“Who?” Damn this man. He’s good.

He scoffs. “Please, you’ve been scanning the area non stop since you’ve arrived. Baekhyun had to drag him out as soon as he got here. He was getting pretty worked up about something. I’m assuming it was the fact you weren’t here.”

“Weird,” is your convincing response. You push his arm, leading him to turn around so that you can attempt to save him from skin cancer.

“Weird, indeed.” Despite not being able to see you, his curious gaze can still be felt. “Makes me wonder what happened after you left the reception.”

“Not something I really want to talk about.” You wince, knowing you’ve slipped up and said too much. The simple sentence bares a lot to unpack, and Sehun loves other people’s dirty laundry.

But, in Sehun fashion, he doesn’t push. It’s one thing you love about him. Instead, he faces you and grabs the sunscreen, silently lotioning the rest of his body. When he’s done he reaches over to you, pulling at the black kimono you had meticulously put on over your swimsuit, to return the favor.

“Sehun!”

He yanks the thin fabric and it falls off your shoulders. You both freeze. He only lifts an eyebrow as his eyes rake down the expansion of your exposed skin littered in harsh dark bruises. His gaze lingers for an uncomfortably long time. You want to pull away, but find yourself paralyzed, a mouse caught in the stare of a hungry snake. 

“Stop staring.”

The voice is gruff. A wet hand pulls at your arm, ripping the kimono from Sehun’s frozen hand. You stumble backwards until you hit a chill wetness that makes you hiss as it soaks into your back. Sehun’s eyes are the only thing to move as they shift to the person protectively hovering behind you. His expression is cool, but you catch the way his eyes alight in amusement. Swallowing thickly, you work the courage to see who’s caught his attention….

Chanyeol stops glaring at Sehun long enough to spin you around so that you’re facing each other. With gentle fingers, he fixes your pullover, maneuvering it so that it’s covering your neck, hiding most of the damage. 

He clicks his tongue in dismay. “This won’t do.”

“I have a shirt,” you inform in a small voice. “It doesn’t have a collar though.”

“One second.” Chanyeol walks away, no longer blocking the radiant view of crashing teal waves, powdery sand, and miles of blue sky. White clouds speckle the troposphere, the negative image of your neck and chest. Off to your right, Sehun still stands, a glorious statue made of pale marble.

You can’t bring yourself to acknowledge his presence. 

Chanyeol returns. In his hands is the ugly Hawaiian shirt Jongdae was wearing.

You become aware of the rashguard covering his torso. The collar is high, covering the base of his neck where any hickeys can be hidden, although you can just barely see the start of one peeking out. You curse yourself for not thinking of buying one. 

“May I?” He gently asks. Is that not how he asked to strip you last night? The reminder takes your voice, as does the reserved look in his eyes. He’s testing the water, trying to see where you both stand at the moment. You nod, allowing him access to touch you, lost in his grim expression.

Gently, ever so gently, his fingers brush over your shoulders, sneaking under the thin garment. You battle a shiver as he lifts the back of his hands, knocking the fabric off with his knuckles. You roll back your shoulders, helping him make the cover cascade onto the sand below.

Chanyeol’s bright eyes wander over your flesh. He grunts in satisfaction at the sight of the marks he’s made, pride coloring his features. And you’re transfixed, gulping back saliva flooding your mouth like high tide. Your breathing grows erratic, fingers itching to touch him in return. Apparently that tension hasn’t fully gone away. Looks like you’ll be attracted to him for life.

You want to say something, want to voice an excuse to get your hands on him, but a sharp whistle cuts through the air before you can speak, breaking the spell Chanyeol has you falling under. You blink away your thirst, remembering where you are, of the audience you have.

“Looks like you got into some fun last night!” Jongdae, the culprit of the whistle, points out in a yell. 

You’re now hyper aware of all your friends. Baekhyun, who you’re just now noticing, sits in the shallow part of the water where the waves roughly push him, dressed identically to Chanyeol. He’s looking in your general direction, squinting against the sun to see what all the commotion is about. Seulgi stands beside Jongdae. She’s in the middle of applying sunscreen, one of her legs lifted like a flamingo. She doesn’t have to say anything for you to hear her ‘oh shit’, wobbling as she balances on that one leg. Sehun is still staring right next to you, but the whistle was able to jolt him back from stone. Then there is Jongin, who jogs back to where everyone is congregated to curiously see what is going on.

Being the only one moving, your head spins over to him, seeing how his mouth slacks and his eyes widen in shock.

“What happened?” He asks, concerned.

Embarrassed, you snatch the shirt out of Chanyeol’s grip, rushing to put it on so that everyone will stop staring at you like you just told them you murdered someone.

“Mind your business,” you snap. You regret it instantly when Jongin’s face falls like a kicked puppy. It can’t be helped, you have a tendency to lash out when embarrassed.

“Dae! The meat!””

Gratefully, a hard gust of wind blows in, lifting the aluminum foil with the cooking meat off the grill, falling onto the sand.

That distracts everyone from you. You thank a higher power.

Jongdae stares forlornly at the meat, watching sand coat it like seasoning. 

“What are you doing!” Baekhyun yelps, rushing to his feet. “Pick it up!”

That pulls Jongdae out of whatever trance he was in and he lurches forward, grabbing the hot foil and tossing it onto the end of the table. He hisses and shakes his hands, sticking a reddening thumb into his mouth.

Baekhyun rushes over to the table for quality control and his shoulders slump at the damage.

“This batch is no good.”

“Way to go, Jongdae,” Chanyeol chides. He then peeks over to you, surreptitiously checking your reaction.

“Shut it!” Jongdae snaps back.

Seeing a good opportunity to escape, you go to make your way over to Seulgi. Chanyeol is not having that, and you only get one step in before he’s snatching your wrist, holding you in place in front of him.

“Don’t go,” he begs under his breath.

You refuse to look up at him, knowing that whatever expression he currently wears will kill what little resolve you have. You know you need to discuss what happened the night before, and why he woke up alone this morning, but you hate confrontation and don't want to have this conversation right at this moment. To be honest, you just want to relax for a bit. Is that so wrong?

You remain silent, not really sure what to say to get him off your back for the time being.

“Just talk to me,” he urges. “You were gone when I woke up, and….”

He falls silent, and you can’t resist the temptation any longer. You break and lift your chin, sucking in a breath at what greets you. It’s that same tortured expression from yesterday. Nerves, apprehension, and defeat swim in his opaque orbs, purple his lips. And you know you can no longer prolong with conversation. He’s hurting. You’re hurting him, and it’s not fair to keep tormenting him like this.

“Did I do something wrong?” He asks dejectedly, intently searching you for the answer. 

You open your mouth to answer him. To tell him no, he did nothing wrong, but then Seulgi is calling your name and running up to you. She grabs the arm Chanyeol isn’t holding. “Let’s get in the water. It’s hot.”

She completely ignores Chanyeol as she heads for the shore, dragging you with her.

“I’m sorry,” is all you’re able to get out before you’re pulled completely from his gentle touch. He releases your wrist without a fight, letting you retreat glumly.

“I’m going to have to talk to him eventually,” you tell Seulgi, rolling your eyes. You hit the water and hiss from the shock of the freezing temperature.

“You two don’t get much talking done when you’re together,” she answers, breathless from the cold of the water.

Ignoring–and also maybe even embracing–the pain from the waves chilling your warm skin, you both run until you’re thigh deep and then dive right in, swimming deeper into the abyss. 

You float on your back and try to focus on the paradise you’re in, instead of the devastated look in Chanyeol’s eyes. To no avail.

There’s some crashing noises that pull you upright to see Baekhyun running in to join Seulgi and you.

When he’s close, he jumps onto Seulgi, pulling her under water. Not one to miss an opportunity, you hop onto his back. The three of you break the surface, sputtering for air.

You stay secured around Baekhyun as you all catch your breaths. 

“What the hell,” Seulgi coughs, splashing him in the face. He laughs, but chokes on the sea salt, and you squeal when you’re caught in her attack.

Letting go of Baekhyun, you swim back around so that Seulgi and you are turned towards the shore with him facing you both.

“Is he still sulking?” He asks.

You dare a glance over to where Chanyeol is, refusing to acknowledge how quickly you’re able to seek him out. He’s in the chair you had claimed, watching the water with a sullen pout as he rests his chin in his hand.

“Oh yeah,” Seulgi answers. “The clouds around him are turning gray, he’s in such a mood.”

“He wouldn’t be like that if you’d stop avoiding him, you know?”

“I’m not avoiding him,” you say. “We just spoke.”

Baekhyun snorts. “Yeah and I can tell you’re both on the same page. Nice talk.”

He throws you a sarcastic thumbs up, you stick your tongue out at him.

He grows solemn. “Please, say something to him. The poor man is beating himself up right now.”

You sink further into the water, dipping in until your mouth is submerged, and run a hand over the tiny waves bobbing you. 

Beside you, Seulgi sighs. “I may have ruined their talk.”

Baekhyun throws his head back and groans. “You’re killing me, Smalls.”

“How was I supposed to know?” She asks. “It looked like they were about to ditch us and fuck again. I’m just trying to help her not make another decision she’s going to instantly regret.”

“Whatever happens between them is their business, Seulgi,” Baekhyun says, sounding uncharacteristically reasonable. “You have to let them work through it their way.”

You wave your hand above your head like a needy sim. “I’m right here, you know?”

Seulgi pouts like a chastised child. “You’re right.”

Both Baekhyun and you spin your heads towards her in surprise.

“Did you just say I’m right?” Baekhyun asks. His shock quickly morphs into cockiness, if the grin splitting his face is any indicator.

She’s now the one to groan. “I will not be repeating myself.”

“I’ll cherish the moment for the rest of my life.” Baekhyun turns to you and his smile softens. “Talk to him soon. He’s getting annoying.”

“I will. I promise.” You assure. “Thank you, Hyunnie, for doing this. I know it isn’t easy for you either, being in the middle like this. I appreciate it.”

He shrugs. “You’re both my friends. I want to see you happy. I just hope you can work it out.”

Jongin and Jongdae come barrelling towards your group. As soon as you see your sweet friend, you can’t help but hold your arms out for him.

“Nini!” You cry. He laughs and falls into your embrace, tackling you back into the depths of the sea. When you both emerge, you apologize for yelling at him.

“You’re forgiven,” he says, never taking anything to heart. “But I was surprised. I didn’t expect to see all your bruises. It looks like you got beat up.”

You whine his name. “You’re making it worse.”

“Hey, they do say that weddings are the best place to pick up chicks,” Jongdae says. “Well, I guess dudes for you. Unless….”

He gives you a wicked smirk and you splash him.

“Anyway, good on you for getting some. You deserve it.”

“Thanks, Jongdae,” you say dryly, rolling your eyes. “Also, my bad on the shirt. I forgot I was wearing it before I got in here.”

He takes notice of his button down floating around you and gasps dramatically. “You better wash it before you give it back. It was expensive.”

You look at him skeptically. “This tourist shirt?”

“Do you really think it’s a good idea to have those two cook the meat?” Baekhyun asks, putting your incoming argument with Jongdae to a halt. All five of you turn to the last people still on dry land. The tall boys stand over the grill, Chanyeol with the tongs in his hand. His eyebrows are scrunched as he listens to Sehun adamantly speaking, nodding and answering occasionally. it’s a deep conversation you don’t want any part of.

Jongdae shrugs. “I need a break. It’s hot.”

You all play in the water for some time. Once hunger becomes too great to ignore, you swim back to the beach. Immediately, you crack open a cold beer, nearly moaning when it hits your belly. Now this is what you need. You’ve been sober far too long.

Jongdae wasn’t lying about the heat. Even under the canopy, you can’t escape the sun’s harsh rays. You succumb to the weather and peel off Jongdae’s now dry shirt, not caring anymore if the other’s see your marks, it’s already old news.

Slowly, you all make your way to the table. it’s out in the open and everyone is a bit hesitant to sit out there, but that’s where the food resides. Both Baekhyun and Chanyeol take off their shirts, overwhelmed by the temperature.

“Holy shit, Yeol,” you hear Jongdae say. “What happened to you?”

Everyone glances over to the tall man and your heart sinks at the sight of his exposed back. It’s hard to miss the rows of scratches you carved down his shoulder blades, red and angry.

At the mention of his name, Chanyeol turns around, revealing his neck, shoulders, and chest that look exactly like yours. Actually, his marks are deeper, darker. You were really letting him have it. In your defense, he did encourage you to do your worst, so it is hard for you to find any sympathy to send to the giant.

A loaded silence fills the area as he locks eyes with you. You sigh. That’s enough of an answer for everyone.

Giving up, you chug your beer empty as the extra heat of everyone’s attention bounces back and forth between you both, connecting the purple and blue dots.

“No way….” Jongin’s fingers trace the trail of his eyes. “Did you two…?”

You close your eyes in dismay. You’re going to hear it now.

“Wait a damn minute!” Jongdae’s loud ass voice echoes over the speaker. “You mean to tell me Chanyeol was the one who left those hickeys on you!?”

He gives you an impressed grin. “You naughty girl.”

You simply sink lower into your chair.

“Are you guys together now?” Jongin asks, bouncing on his toes in giddy excitement.

“I mean….” Chanyeol searches you out in hopes you’ll answer that question for him as well.

The attention has you awkwardly laughing, readjusting yourself so that you’re sitting properly again. 

“Please, you guys,” you say, laughter coating every consonant. “It’s nothing.”

Chanyeol’s head tilts at that, eyes fluttering in confusion. “What do you mean ‘nothing’?”

Your heart sinks as you realize you’ve made matters much worse. Chanyeol’s getting worked up now, and the last thing you want is to fight in front of everybody.

“I just mean it’s not a big deal.”

If your first sentence was you putting your foot in your mouth, this one is the whole damn leg.

“Not a big deal?” He repeats skeptically. He turns so that he’s properly looking at you, making sure he’s understanding correctly. “You think us having sex is ‘not a big deal’?”

“Okay,” Jongdae drawls. “Not together then.”

“That’s not what I meant,” you begin to explain, really wishing this conversation wasn’t happening like this. “It was a big deal to me, okay? But they shouldn’t expect more because of it.”

“Like us getting back together?” He continues to question in a monotonous tone. “You’re saying that they shouldn’t get their hopes up about us getting back together just because we had sex.”

“Exactly!” You clap, glad he understands.

“So that wasn’t us getting back together?”

His disappointment is hard to disguise, and it makes you feel bad. Again you’re reminded that if you’d just talked before this wouldn’t be happening. You sigh and prepare yourself to explain where you’re coming from.

“Chanyeol–”

“Meat’s getting cold,” Sehun interrupts, ending the real conversation before it can start. You’re grateful for it, still not mentally prepared to break Chanyeol’s heart any further, although it seems you may be past that point. Chanyeol’s jaw is tense, honestly everything about him is tense as he nods his head like he finally understands something before stomping over to the table, sitting at the end furthest from the canopy. He grabs a beer, cracking it open and guzzling it down rather aggressively. 

Everyone else reluctantly takes Chanyeol’s lead. When Baekhyun passes you, he grimaces, politely letting you know that you messed up. Sehun is the last to walk past. He stops and reaches a hand out for you to grab. You sigh before taking it, allowing him to pull you up.

“The last thing I want right now is a lecture,” you tell him.

“I’m just checking on you,” he assures. “You good?”

You stare at him. ‘Do I look like I’m good’ written all over your face and he grins, gaining the reaction he wanted. It’s gone as quick as it comes, an air of seriousness taking over.

“I thought we talked about this.” He starts. 

You point a finger at him. “Lecture.”

He purses his lips and lets his attention wander to the table. Everyone is trying their best to lighten the mood. You look also and are surprised to see Seulgi attempt to make small talk with Chanyeol, although he doesn’t appear that interested in the conversation.

“Okay, no lecture, but let me say one thing.” You groan. “Don’t leave this island with unfinished business. That’s only going to hurt you both more.”

You’re still taking in the table as he speaks, and Chanyeol must feel it because he’s looking back at you. He holds your stare for a few seconds, then catches himself and breaks the contact. It’s selfish, but you’re comforted by the familiar longing still lingering there.

You nod at Sehun’s words, turning back to him. “Yeah. Got it.”

He doesn’t believe you and his expression says as much.

“Hey! Hurry up and grab a plate!” Jongin orders you both. 

Sehun pats your arm and heads over to the table, you follow a few steps behind. The food is delicious and the alcohol starts flowing. Soon the sun starts its slow descent, and with full bellies, you all relax more. At this moment, you can’t help but to miss Junmyeon. He’s always the one taking pictures, annoying everyone by forcing you all to pose for what feels like hundreds of photos. Sehun, his successor, makes sure to take as many candids and selfies as he can. You find it easy to smile whenever the camera is focused on you, even when Chanyeol is also in the frame.

Speaking of Chanyeol, the beer, good food, and friendship seems to be working in lifting his spirits. His loud voice carries throughout the beach, and you catch his boisterous laugh from time to time. You’re relieved to know that you haven’t completely ruined this trip for him. 

By this point, the sky is a lovely pink and orange, and you’re a bit tipsy. You close your eyes and sway to the beat of whatever song is playing, snapping along. Someone holds your hand, causing your eyes to spring open to see Jongin gently urging you out of your seat. You allow him to drag you into a clear patch of sand near the waves. You start dancing with him, connected hands swinging between you both as you reluctantly laugh. Jongin is your designated dance partner. He’s one of the better dancers of your group, and you’re shy. He got into the habit of getting you out onto the dancefloor to loosen you up in college. Now is no different. You both roll your bodies and sway your hips to the beat, encouraging each other. The longer you dance, the closer you get, until your forehead rests on his collarbone, arms wrap around each other’s waists, and Jongin’s cheek presses atop your head.

“Are you okay?” He softly asks.

His question causes your vision to blur. You stare unseeingly into the now gray sea, waves crashing urgently and tighten your hold around his torso.

“I don’t think so,” you confess. 

“I don’t understand,” he says, sounding both confused and frustrated. “You both love each other, right? Why fight?”

“It’s not that simple, Nini. I wish it was, but….” You shake your head, not really knowing how to finish the sentence.

“Is it because of her?” He presses.

You close your eyes at the reminder of Yerim, another person your actions will hurt, and she’s yet to find out of your betrayal.

“Partially,” you admit.

Jongin rubs your back. “It'll work out. As long as you know what you want.”

You wipe your face and pull back to smile up at him, clipping his chin affectionately.

“Now that we’ve had that talk,” you say. “Let’s dance! We’re on vacation! I need to feel like it!”

He chuckles and spins you around so that your back is pressed against his torso.

“Turn the music up!” He orders. Whoever is in charge of the tunes obliges and you’re pleased when a song you can grind to comes on. You throw your arms up into the air and instantly lose yourself to the music, dancing back on Jongin who matches your moves easily.

Not really paying attention to your surroundings, you fail to notice someone joining your little party, but they make themselves known by gripping your arms, ripping you out of Jongin’s hold.

“What the–”

For the second time today, Chanyeol has pulled you away from someone. His hands are wrapped so tightly around your forearms, you wince from the pain. He doesn’t catch your discomfort, too busy giving Jongin the fiercest stare you’ve ever seen.

“Get the fuck off of her!” He snarls, dragging you even closer to him so that your face is pressed against his naked heaving chest.

You lean back and attempt to stare him down, but all you see is his sharp jaw.

“We’re just dancing,” you explain defensively.

That makes him look down at you, and you nearly gulp from the fury reflecting in his black orbs.

“That’s not how you ‘just dance’ with someone!”

That’s when you notice the way his words slightly blend together, notice how unsteady he is on his feet.

“You’re drunk,” you point out disappointedly. Remembering how good that did you both the last time he was under the influence.

He chuckles darkly at that. “So are you.”

Ugh, you aren’t anywhere near as faded as he currently is. You attempt to free yourself from him, but he’s holding onto you too tightly to break. There is no escape.

“Chanyeol, Bro, I swear that’s all we were doing,” Jongin calmly reassures.

“Don’t call me ‘bro’,” Chanyeol hisses. “You’ve always been like this, Jongin. You were always touching her! Don’t think I never noticed.”

“She’s my friend,” he says slowly, carefully, as if he’s speaking to a child.

“And she was my fiance!” Chanyeol all but roars. “But that never stopped you!”

You glance around. His outburst draws everyone’s attention and they watch the three of you curiously. Baekhyun and Sehun start to get up from their seats, probably intending to de-escalate the situation, but you don’t want to get anybody else involved. This is between Chanyeol and you. What is happening now is the consequence of you stalling the ‘what are we’ conversation you should’ve had the night before.

“Leave him alone, Yeol,” you mutter. “He’s not the one you’re mad at. It’s me.”

He doesn’t even spare you a glance, too focused on the man behind you. “Why won’t he answer me then? I’m right, aren’t I?”

“I promise I–”

Before Jongin can finish defending himself, you cut him off by putting your hands on Chanyeol’s chest, throwing your weight to shove him. In any other circumstance, he wouldn’t have budged, but his inebriation works in your favor, making him stumble a few steps. Unfortunately, he takes you with him, and you fall forward. He lets go of your arms to catch you by the waist, steadying you both.

“You okay?” He asks with worry.

“Yeah,” you huff. You pat his shoulder. “Why don’t we go for a walk?”

There’s a boardwalk a few meters away that looks deserted, that is probably the best place to have this discussion. Not waiting for an answer, you easily break his hold and start walking towards it. Chanyeol says something to Jongin you can’t catch over the sound of the sea, but it sounds smug enough that you sigh deeply in dismay. You’ll apologize to Jongin tomorrow, you promise to yourself.

When you pass the table, you lock eyes with both Baekhyun and Sehun.

“It’s okay,” you assure them, not even sure if you believe it. It’s enough for them, they stand down and nod, trusting you.

The journey is silent. The sun has disappeared completely by the time you’re on the worn wood, enveloping you in an almost foreboding darkness. The crashing of waves are intense beneath you, doing nothing to soothe your nerves. When you reach the end of the walk, you turn around to the man you know was following you the whole time.

He’s on you before you can even speak. His mouth moves roughly against yours, urgent and desperate. His frustration is felt, as is his still present affection. You fall easily into his kiss, giving into him as naturally as you always have. Your hands curl around his neck, pulling him closer. He cups your face, the palms of his hands squishing your cheeks, puckering your lips more for him to devour. He walks you backwards, until your bare back hits the splintered wood of the banister. it digs into your skin, making you whimper, but it’s not enough pain to distract you from the punishing pressure of Chanyeol’s lips.

The groan he lets out in response is tortured, long fingers desperately begin pulling at the band of your swimsuit bottoms, eager to feel all of you again. 

In sync, your mouths fall open, tongues colliding and lewdly twirling together. God. Fuck. You want him. You want him so bad it’s driving you crazy. You’re going to fuck him again. You’re going to fuck him right here on this damn boardwalk, space be damned–

But, that’s exactly the problem, isn’t it?

“Stop,” you gasp between kisses.

He hums before tilting his head to kiss you even deeper. Those wandering hands of his slide down to squeeze your ass. You shutter and press yourself more against him, slipping your arms fully around his neck to drag him lower so that he’s curved over you. A sheen of sweat the only thing between your boiling bodies.

Still, you can’t bring yourself to fall back completely into the make out session. Disappointment floods you. Seulgi is right, the two of you can’t be alone for even a second without falling into this toxic habit.

Now annoyed with how weak you are, you finally muster the strength to shove Chanyeol back, officially breaking the kiss.

With much needed space between you, you feel the fog of lust begin to clear and can think better. Chanyeol doesn’t say anything or make a move to resume what you interrupted. No. He just stands there, watching you with an expression you find hard to read as you both attempt to catch your heaving breaths. 

“What?” He finally asks, voice hoarse and deeper than hell. “You don’t want me anymore, Mel?”

There’s no sorrow, none of the longing or anger he’s shown throughout the day, which is surprising. It’s almost as if he knew this was how the night was going to go. Like he knew you were going to push him away.

“That….” You swallow thickly. “That’s not it.”

“Then what’s the problem?” He asks, taking a step towards you. You try to counter it, but that leads to more wood stabbing you. You’re sure some break the skin. He takes another step and now he’s directly in front of you, a mere breath away. He lowers his head to be more level with yours, giving you a close up view of his wound up fury.

“The problem,” you nearly stutter, overwhelmed by the hostility now coming off of him in waves. He’s never directed his anger towards you–the situation maybe, but never you–it’s intimidating and scary. You lick your dry lips, trying to find your voice, and he watches detachedly. “My problem is the opposite, Chanyeol. I still very much do.”

“That doesn’t seem like a problem to me.”

“Look at us!” You say. “We can’t be alone for five seconds without being all over each other! Last night was not supposed to happen the way it did! We weren’t supposed to sleep together!”

“But we did,” he snarls through clenched teeth. “And that means something, whether you want it to or not!”

“All that it means to me is we need space. This is too much for me, Yeol. We need time apart to figure out what the hell we actually want.”

“What is too much for you?” He asks, sounding exasperated. “The way I feel about you? The way you still feel about me? What is there to figure out? We still want each other, nothing else matters!”

“We still want each other physically!” You clarify. “I can agree with that, but the longer we’re together, the more I think that’s all we want!” 

“Of course not!” He finally yells. You flinch from the volume and that makes him catch himself. He huffs out a breath before repeating in a much gentler tone, “of course not.”  

He grabs one of your hands, thumb caressing your knuckles. “You are way more than that. You always have been. This is more than physical to me.”

Everything inside of you is screaming to believe him, and he himself is asking for that. For you to have faith in this, and to give it a chance. 

“Then why didn’t you say it back?” 

He doesn’t answer. Instead, he stares at the forming tears in your eyes and the slight wobble of your lips in confusion. He searches for the context to your question. It takes a minute, but then his eyes widen in realization and his mouth falls open, a slight ‘oh’ leaving before he’s snapping it back shut. The look he gives you after that is something akin to pity.

And there is your answer. You pull your hand out of his grasp, using it to wipe away the tears that slipped past your waterline. “Whatever. It doesn’t matter.”

He scrambles in alarm from your withdrawal. “Can you please stop saying shit like that?”

“Why?” You snap. Your irritation grows with every second he doesn’t give you the answer you desire. “It doesn’t. I didn’t mean it anyways. It just slipped out, so…yeah.”

You fidget nervously and try to make out the waves crashing against the wood underneath you. You’re so focused on that, you miss the way Chanyeol recoils in shock. You also miss the reigniting flames of his dimming anger.

“So when you told me you loved me, you didn’t mean it. Yet, you’re mad at me for not saying it?”

Him saying it out loud makes you cringe in embarrassment. As if he hasn’t done enough, you sense mockery in his tone. When you meet his eye again, the anger is still there, but it’s mostly frustration you notice.

“I’m not mad that you didn’t say it,” you deny.

“Yes you are!” He lets out a humorless laugh. Yeah, he’s definitely frustrated. “Is that what all this is about? Why you left this morning? Look, I’m sorry! It wasn’t because I didn’t feel the same, I was just…preoccupied.”

“Preoccupied with what?” You ask in disbelief.

He gives you a steady look, eyebrows raised in a way to say, ‘you know what’. It takes a minute for you to decipher what he’s alluding to, but then you remember what happened right after your little confession and groan his name, appalled.

“See?” He’s grinning like a madman now, pulling at your arms in an attempt to catch your attention. “That’s all I ever wanted to hear. And once I did, I couldn’t control myself anymore. You telling me you love me made me cum.”

“Be serious right now,” you say, frowning in disgust.

“Oh, I’m very serious right now,” he says, that gleefully large grin still on his face.

You throw him a skeptical look. “You’re smiling and talking about cum. You think this is a joke.”

That makes his smile slowly disappear. He says your name. “I don’t think this is funny. I’m telling you the truth. You want me to prove it to you? Hm? I’ll say it right now. I lo–”

“I don’t want to hear it now!” You interrupt in a shout. “If you had said it then, things might’ve been different, but you didn’t. I don’t care why you didn’t either. That was all the confirmation I needed. We have no idea what we want from this.”

“Here we go again,” he groans, walking a bit away from you.

You jut your jaw at that. “I’m going to repeat myself until you get it through that thick skull. Whatever happened, happened. It’s done. We’re done.”

Chanyeol’s frustration is back with a vengeance. His fingers run through his dark hair, yanking at the strands as he starts pacing in front of you. “How can you say that when you had your tongue down my throat minutes ago? You let me cum inside you! You told me you loved me! And that’s it? There’s mixed signals and then there’s whatever the fuck you’re doing right now.”

“There you go talking about cum again,” you mutter to yourself. Louder, “I’m being realistic! It’s only been three days. Three! And, what? We’re just supposed to pick up right where we left off? Act like the past few years never happened? That’s not how this works, and I doubt that’s healthy. We need more time.”

“I already told you that I’ll always love you, and I meant that. I know you’re scared, Mel. Hell, I’m scared too. You’re right, things are moving fast, but that’s because we still care for each other. I know you still love me. You wouldn’t have said it if you didn’t. This wouldn’t be us pretending we never broke up. This can be us realizing that we’re better together. That we’re even stronger now that we’ve had time to figure out who we are apart. Isn’t that what you wanted?”

“It was,” you’re quick to emphasize the past tense. “But I’ve changed a lot since the last time you saw me, Yeol, so stop acting like you know me.”

Something you say catches his attention, and he narrows his eyes suspiciously. “You haven’t changed much.” He says your name. “I still know you, probably better than anybody else here. Just like you still know me.” 

He’s stilled from pacing, and it’s a bit ominous after watching him frantically walk for the past couple minutes. He runs a hand over his face tiredly and lets out a heavy sigh. “So, that’s really what this is about.”

You raise an eyebrow questioningly and he laughs, shaking his head.

“I was hoping it wasn’t, but what you just said…. It all makes sense now.” He’s muttering under his breath, talking to himself.

“What are you going on about?” You ask.

“This morning, when I woke up and you weren’t there, I knew. I didn’t want to believe it, that you would do something like that, but I knew what happened the moment I realized you had left me.”

Your body begins to shake, and it isn’t from the cold. Foreboding chills your spine, causing goosebumps to rise, sharpening once he locks eyes with you, the accusations hard to miss.

“You still hate me.”

His hands curl into tight fists at his sides, trembling–as are his shoulders, his voice. He closes his eyes, taking deep calming breaths you doubt help him much. 

“And now you’re telling me you didn’t mean it when you said you loved me. That you changed since the ‘last time I saw you’. Was that your plan all along? To seduce me? Make me think you still gave a shit so that I’d let you fuck me and then leave? Was last night revenge sex?”

“No,” you gasp, genuinely shocked by his conclusion. “I already told you, it was a lapse of judgment–”

“I’m not playing this fucking game with you!” He shouts. His voice breaks, just like his heart currently does. “You don’t get to hurt me again. You can’t play with my feelings everytime I allow myself to be open with you. Maybe you’re right, Mel. Maybe I don’t know you anymore, because I never thought you could do something this fucking cruel.”

“Me? Cruel?” Your anger flares up. “What the fuck about you? You come here, bring some other girl you care nothing for, and then pretend like we never knew each other! Then proceeded to ignore her the whole time to flirt with me any chance you got!”

“We’re not talking about this trip!” Chanyeol dismisses. “I should have never brought her, I know that now, but that’s not what this is about. This is about the time before that, when you gave me back the engagement ring!”

Sehun mentioned the night before the wedding that you have a baseless grudge against Chanyeol, one that twisted the love you have for him, crossing that thin line over to hate. He was positive you made something up, a ‘lie’ he called it, to keep Chanyeol at arm’s length from your heart in order to protect it. The truth is that Sehun grew cocky. He believed so deeply that you couldn’t keep anything from him, that it was impossible to with the way he can so easily read you, that he never suspected when you did. It was only one thing. One thing you decided to keep to yourself, refusing to confide in even Sehun. The reason? To protect the man in front of you, the same way he protected you.

The last thing you want is to bring it up, but technically, Chanyeol is doing it first.

“Gave it back?” You’re in total disbelief. “You took it back the morning after you slept with me and then completely ghosted like I was some one night stand!”

“That’s what you wanted!” 

“When?” You ask, baffled. “When I invited you over? Or was it in the middle of us having sex?”

He runs a hand roughly through his hair. “Okay, but why did you invite me over?”

“Because I–”

He doesn’t let you finish, his own anger from that day getting the best of him. “Because you wanted to give me the ring back!”

His voice has risen, and it silences you completely. 

“Fuck!” He’s saying your name again, but there isn’t an ounce of affection. “You wanted to return the ring. It was the one thing–the only thing that gave me hope. I told you to keep it, because I knew as long as you still had it, there was still a future for us. But then you called me. It hadn’t even been a year since our separation–because that’s what we were, separated not broken up–and the first time I hear from you it’s to tell me you want to give me back your fucking ring!”

Your head is spinning, attempting to comprehend everything he just admitted, filling in blanks you have been trying to figure out for years now. You hate to admit it, but some things are starting to make sense. 

“So, which was it then?” You question rather calmly. “You were still hurt from when I broke things off, so when I reached out you saw your chance to return the favor? Or was it because you thought that’s why I asked you to come over, so you got upset, slept with me, and left as a big fuck you?”

“Neither,” he reveals, evident disgust from your thought process. “Sleeping with you that night just happened. I didn’t do it with the intention to hurt you.”

“Sounds familiar,” you point out. He pinches the bridge of his nose. It feels like you’re going nowhere. Like you’re speaking in circles. “But okay, fine, say I believe that you didn’t do it to hurt me. Why did you leave?”

“Because I didn’t want what happened that night to become our normal,” he admits. “You knew how I felt about you, and I didn’t want you to take advantage of that–of me. Come on, Mel, you’ve always known the power you have over me. If you had told me that night that all you wanted from me was sex, I’d given that to you. Hell, if you told me right now that’s all you want, I’d give it to you. I’d give you anything. You’re my Melody.” He takes a deep shaky breath. “But I knew that if I reduced myself to that just to keep you, it would destroy me. I didn’t want to lose myself like that. And I don’t ever want to hate you. That’s why I ultimately left. Took the ring–like you told me to–and ran before you could change my mind. That was me setting a boundary for myself. I had to let you go before I allowed you to use and break me.”

Your heart sinks at his explanation. “Do you really think I’d treat you like that?”

“Do you really think I’d make love to you and not mean it?” He counters.

Again, you’re back at square one. Blinking at one another, trying to figure out where you stand in each other’s hearts. With the newfound knowledge of Chanyeol’s thoughts on that infamous day, you look internally. To be honest, his words don’t sway you much. The hurt from that day is still painful. You vividly remember the way your heart shattered when he was nowhere to be found. To add salt to the wound, he had blocked you on everything, so that you had no way to contact him afterwards. Yes, you really did believe he was capable of doing that.

“No matter what your intention was that day,” you start. “The result is still the same.”

Once Chanyeol hears this, you watch him build up a wall, closing you off from him for the first time. Until right now, you believed he wasn’t capable of doing that to you. That it couldn’t be helped or that he felt comfortable enough to let his guard down in your presence. But watching all the vulnerability, all the honesty, all the affection he had for you vanish before your eyes, you realize you have been giving yourself too much credit.

“I guess that makes us even now, right?” He asks bitterly. 

You turn away, partially out of guilt, but also because you can’t stomach the haunted shadow dulling him. He’s right, in a sick way. You both ran away, hurting the other despite the reasoning behind it.

“So, that’s it then?” He asks when you fail to say anything.

“Chanyeol….” You turn back to him and instantly are bombarded with regret. You can so easily fix this. If you really want to, you can tell him that you forgive him for that night, that you truly never meant to hurt him and that the night before meant everything to you. You can walk off this boardwalk hand in hand, laughing with giddiness from falling back in love with your soulmate. Rejoining your friends who would be nothing but ecstatic and supportive of you working through your issues and returning to one another. You can do that. It will only take one simple sentence. 

But you don’t forgive him, and you haven’t really resolved anything. Your new relationship would be built on the foundation of ignorance, avoidance, and lust. You didn’t want that, not if it is the cost of having him back at this moment. You both have some healing to do before jumping into this again, and this conversation proved that. You aren’t ready.

“I–yeah. I think it would be for the best if we end things here.”

“Yeah,” he agrees in defeat. He sniffs and scratches the back of his head. “You’re probably right. There’s not much else I can say to make you stay.”

He takes you in one more time. In his reluctance, it’s as if he’s giving you a chance to change your answer, but you both know you won’t. Guess he does still know you well. He clears his throat and without saying goodbye, walks away. 

He’s about to clear the walk when you’re yelling at him to wait.

He does. He faces you and watches with wide eyes as you run hastily over to him. You stop at a safe distance, close enough to see him under the dim moonlight, but far enough away that you can’t feel the distracting heat of his body. 

He observes you warily, probably wondering how you’re going to break his heart this time. It’s that bit of doubt that made you run. There’s one last thing he needs to know, the one thing he needs to take away from this conversation, if nothing else.

“I don’t hate you.”

It’s the last thing he expected, and his reaction reflects that. His eyes grow glossy and he does his best to blink the unshed tears back, while also fighting the frown weighing the corners of his lips, causing them to tremble. Wordlessly, he reaches out to you, cupping the back of your head, and you let him. You allow him to touch you, to bring you close to him, relishing in his heat against the chilling bite of the ocean’s breeze. He pulls you in and presses a tender lingering kiss onto your forehead.

“Thank you,” he whispers against your skin.

And then he’s gone, taking all the warmth with him.

And you watch, as his fire dims and he blends with the gray of your surroundings before disappearing out of sight.

You pray to god that’s not a metaphor.

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[rinsoap]

haikyuu men as my icks bc i hate these men sm 👎

inspired by missmeinyourbones !! / not an x reader.

talks in a baby voice bc his mom didnt give him enough attention (me fr) and u feel bad but its literally so bad that u cant help but audibly groan everytime he refers to himself in third person bc "baby wants cuddies 😣"

bokuto... oikawa (on his worst days). lev (ugh i hate lev 👎) kuroo (bokuto rubbed off on him 🙁) asahi.

acts like a mean middle school boy, absolutely ABUSES the laughing cat emoji "thats tuff buddy 😹💀" like STOP IT. he'll jump to touch the door frame or even worse do that stupid fucking thing where he clings onto the door frame and leans his torso forward but his feet stay? why r u built like a bracket ) ???? refuses to wear anything but shorts and a tshirt even if its snowing. he will literally be shivering and is still like "its fine im not weak 😒" and pls do not get me started on the mouth breathing.......

tanaka. atsumu (but he grew out of it eventually!) i am trying to have hope. hinata.

the most pretentious man u will ever meet. he thinks his poetry is groundbreaking but theyre all haikus and all of them can be summed up by "i was the poem..... but she couldnt read 😣💔🥀" like who r u even talking ab ur single ass has one ex from third grade ❌ tries so hard to be witty but is just corny man like wdym u can quote "sniff out a fake nirvana fan anywhere" ????? he will hype up this "underground" song that the "tiktok mob" hasn't "gotten" yet and its why'd you only call me when you're high by arctic monkeys ?

both miya twins..... oikawa. tsukishima (he is of course a fucking prick). semi i rly dont want to believe this but deep down i KNOW. kyotani. kenma.

has the WORSTT fashion sense like he has zero sense of style. im talking fitted sweats or the sweats that are baggy in the crotch area but super skinny and fitted on the legs. he wears full on tech fleece or those ugly fake bape hoodies and calls it y2k like babe....... and what makes it worse is that he's a fashion SNOB. he is insufferable like he thinks he is so cool and has no idea he looks SO BAD 😭

TERUSHIMA (have u even seen him oh my GOD). atsumu (but he actually did grow out of it bc u would not let him live it down). nishinoya. kindaichi... i am so sorry for this but kuroo 🙁

he cannot clean himself for shit 😭😭 like he showers but he just straight up does not wash his ass "but the water runs down it so ???" like it is surprising he even knows what a loofa is. uses one of those dumb ass "8 in 1" IK ur not using ur "shampoo" to wash ur body ❌❌ and his fingernails r always dirty u have no idea how bc whenever u ask he just says "i dont know how they get like thaaat im sooo clean!! 🥺" u already know there's one lie in that sentence its a good bet its ALL a lie.

daichi (it was such a shock tbh but he absolutely ABUSES 3 in 1). atsumu maybe he is a walking ick. terushima (are we surprised?) kenma (he's a gamer duhh). mattsun (until the entire team bullied him for it W seijoh fr 🙏)