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lalal-99 · 2 years

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My Favourite Workout {s.c.}

©February 2023 by lalal-99

Changbin x afab!reader | trope: established relationship, shower sex | smut | wordcount: 6.2k

Synopsis: Your boyfriend has been working his butt off the past few weeks. It's only fair of you to offer some of your time up so you can spend it together, doing something you love. Or he does anyways. You're not really a fan of gyms in general, but the private gym at his workplace sure has its perks.

Warnings: explicit content | dni if your under 18

Note: This sat in my drafts for over a year, but it turned out pretty good in the end. Gym-Changbin got a strong grip on me...

Taglist: @skzho @bubblelixie @flakywig@itsallaboutkey @avyskai @mekuiikore @joonghands@changbiddies0325 @knowleeknow @sensitiveandhungry @babybabydoll

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This was so not what you had expected from a gym. Crowds of bulked-up people, sweaty seats, and overpriced protein shakes – that’s what you were used to. You hadn’t been to that many gyms, but you had seen a fair share of them in your lifetime. And this was so far from anything you had witnessed before.

Instead of bad music and half-naked people you wanted to know nothing about, there was silence. And him.

The man sitting a few metres ahead – toned upper body clad in a tight muscle shirt, thick thighs in a pair of loose hanging shorts – was a feast for the eyes. With every pull he did on the exercising machine, dragging the black metal bar lower before bringing the weights to the ground again, his arms flexed. Every contraction of his muscles below his thin shirt was palpable, so deliciously inviting you to bury your teeth in them.

Had you known before, it was gonna be just the two of you in this one-roomed, private gym, you probably wouldn’t have gone. You barely moved anyway as the cross-trainer you had previously used rested quietly below you, your eyes focused on the beautiful man in front of you. How could you have done anything with him right in your eyesight, distracting you from what you usually did in a gym? An hour-long basic workout before swearing never to do one again.

It took Changbin a minute to notice your glances, but when he did, he casually got up, a smirk plastered on his face as he made his way towards you. He took one of his earphones out, his eyes meeting yours as she placed his muscular arms on the handles of your cross-trainer.

“You know this won’t move by itself, right?” Changbin asked, pointing at the machine below you. You rolled your eyes at his comment, stepping down from the trainer.

“I know, but this is so boring,” you told him honestly as you dried the non-existent sweat from your forehead with the towel you had brought. “I only came here with you today, anyways, because we haven’t spent an hour of quality time in two weeks.”

With your boyfriend working overtime at the studio so close to the release of their newest album, you had barely seen him, let alone spent time with him. For the past two weeks, he had left for work before you got up and only came home after his daily workout when you were already half-asleep on the couch.

Obviously, you didn’t blame Changbin. He loved his work, and being one of the producers for his very own band, he usually had to walk the extra mile. You knew and had always known it wouldn’t be easy. Your relationship needed constant work so you wouldn’t forget about each other in the haste of each day.

This was the exact reason why you had decided to join your boyfriend in the gym tonight. It was your way of showing him you weren’t just complaining but doing something to make it work. And you knew he appreciated your extra effort whenever he couldn’t give a hundred percent.

“We’re spending time right now, aren’t we?”

“I wouldn’t call us working out in different corners of this room ‘spending time together’,” you replied with a huff.

Changbin had been listening to music since you had stepped into JYPE’s private gym just a few floors below his studio. You knew he replayed whatever song they had produced that day while working out afterwards. It was Changbin’s way of clearing his head while also thinking of changes they needed to make in the melody or rhythm.

Still, you wouldn’t have complained about him talking to you or at least not ignoring you, caught up in his daily routine. Your relationship shouldn’t be routine anyways.

“I’m sorry, babe,” Changbin finally agreed as he took the second earplug out. With a swift motion, he put them into the little container, storing them in his pocket. “How about we finish the rest of the workout with no distractions, alright?”

“The rest of the workout?” you questioned in disbelief. “You mean you’re not finished?”

After an hour in the gym, you were convinced Changbin must have been as tired of it as you were. Even if you hadn’t done much actual working out, you could still tell you’d feel the effect of it tomorrow.

“Just another 30 minutes. Tops,” Changbin promised with a smile as he pointed at one machine behind him. “You wanna try something less boring?”

“Fine,” you gave in as you followed him to the device. You would already be sore the next day, so why not give yourself an extra push. “How does this work?”

“You sit on here,” your boyfriend guided you to the seat of the training equipment, “and you place your legs on either side of these pads.”

You followed his instructions one by one, placing your legs outside of two cushions attached to metal bars, eventually leading to the main body of the machine.

“And now what?” you questioned as you looked up at Changbin.

“Well, you’re gonna press your thighs together. But first, you put weight onto them. How much do you want? Like 5 kilos?” The teasing smile on his lips earned him an eye roll as it told you 5 kilos weren’t much.

“Funny.” The sarcasm was evident in your voice as you looked back at the weights variety the machine offered. It went from 5 to 90 kilos in steps of five. You were aware you shouldn’t start with the highest setting, though you didn’t want to start with the lowest either. “Give me like 20.”

“I don’t know, babe. You think you can handle that?”

Honestly, you didn’t believe that to be a lot of weight. 20 kilos? That’s like a dog or a five-year-old child. Although Changbin’s expression told you differently, you were sure you could take that much.

“I know you think I’m just your weak girlfriend. But I’m very capable of making those sorts of decisions for myself.” You didn’t intend it to come out as harsh as it did, seeing your boyfriend was merely trying to help you. Still, you didn’t appreciate him suggesting, you weren’t strong enough.

“Fine, don’t listen to me. But don’t you complain about your legs tomorrow. I won’t carry you around the house just because you didn’t believe me,” Changbin eventually agreed, setting the weight to your wishes. “Is this good?”

As you pressed your knees towards each other, effectively lifting the weight you had chosen, you realised you had messed up. You hadn’t known 20 kilos to put that much pressure onto your untrained legs when you could easily carry them with your arms. One of your nephews weighed about that much, and he was no difficulty for you.

Obviously, you couldn’t let Changbin know he had been right. After the scene you had just caused, you couldn’t acknowledge you were wrong, and actually weren’t capable of making those decisions for yourself.

“Yup.” You forced a smile onto your lips as you felt your abdominal muscles clench at the pain. It was almost impossible to control your facial expressions when you wanted to scream and curl into a ball instead. “Get back to your workout, babe. I’m fine, really.”

With a shake of his head, and a chuckle leaving his lips, Changbin turned around to head back to his previous workout. The second you were out of his sight, you stopped moving, feeling the burn in your every fibre already. Your legs were shaking as you silently breathed through the sting, picking the movement back up the second Changbin sat down. Unfortunately, he was facing you, so you couldn’t have merely pretended to be doing the exercise.

Your boyfriend picked up his previous routine, his arms finding the metal bar above his head as he started pulling it towards himself. You didn’t know exactly how much weight he had put onto his machine, but you guessed it was about 60 kilos. It was around three times what you were currently pressing between your legs, and still, he looked almost calm doing it. Obviously, you knew your boyfriend was fit – you saw him naked every day – but this was impressive, nevertheless.

You tried your best to concentrate on anything but your thighs, your eyes finding him after a few more squeezes. Changbin threw you a sweet smile as your teeth caught your lower lip. Looking at his buff arms only distracted you for so long, and you already felt you wouldn’t last much longer. Still, you didn’t think about giving up.

As you kept pushing yourself through the pain, you silently counted every press your legs did. Reaching ten presses after a minute, you decided it to be good enough for your first round. The second your legs stopped squeezing, an unintentional sigh left your lips as you felt your muscles relax. So far, so good.

With your head thrown back and your eyes pressed shut, you tried regaining your composure. You were so occupied with catching a grip on reality you didn’t even recognise Changbin was staring at you. You looked up at him only when you heard his weights hit the ground. He had barely gotten to 15 pulls, and you knew for a fact that this couldn’t be it. He must have had a lot more in him than just that.

“What’s wrong?” you questioned your boyfriend in confusion. Your hands came from the handles at your sides to your face as you dragged them across your skin. That you were already sweating after just a minute of actual working out couldn’t have been a good sign.

“You have got to be kidding me.” As Changbin shook his head in disbelief, your eyes wandered down his body to his hand positioned in his lap. You were trying to find the reason for his sudden reaction, and it took you a few seconds to realise how his hand wasn’t simply resting in his crotch. It pressed against it, trying to control the growing bulge under the thin fabric.

“Do you…” Your voice trailed off as a smile appeared on your face. With your hand covering your mouth, you tried hiding it, though you weren’t doing a good job. “Do you have a boner?”

“It’s not my fault,” Changbin reasoned as his eyes slid over your exposed legs towards your face. “It’s you!”

“What did I do? I’m just sitting here,” you explained as-a-matter-of-factly. You hadn’t done anything to turn him on, at least not intentionally.

“Yeah. Legs spread, making your sex noises.”

Your mouth opened at his accusation, your legs swinging over the cushions so you could close them. They were still quivering from the previous weighted movement, so you ran your hands over them, massaging the muscle.

“I’m not making sex noises,” you exclaimed, somewhat offended. No way in hell were the sounds you had made while pressing 20 kilos with your legs were the same ones you made when the two of you were together.

“You sure are. You’ve been moaning the whole time. And now you’re touching yourself, which isn’t any better,” Changbin pointed out, his eyes pinned on your hand running over your thigh. His words made you stop as you tried to terminate anything that might have caused his discomfort. It made you proud how it hadn’t taken much work to get him aroused, though you wouldn’t have disclosed that to him under any circumstance. “Also, we haven’t had sex in about three weeks.”

“And that’s my fault? How, exactly?”

With Changbin in the studio and you working all day, there had only been a few chances for the two of you to get some sexy time. And when such rare opportunities occurred, either you had been too tired, or he had been too sore. If he really wanted to blame you for the lack of intimacy, he couldn’t take himself out of the equation.

“It’s not.” A sigh left Changbin’s lips as she took the towel from beside him to put it over his crotch. “Let’s just get back to the workout, okay? I’m sure it will be gone in a few minutes.”

As your boyfriend stretched his arms to get a hold on the handles of the exercising machine above him, his tight shirt rid up his body a bit. It revealed his stomach below it for only a second, but you caught it anyway. Once he dragged the bar down the first time, your eyes immediately came to his bulky arms.

When you had met Changbin a few years earlier, he hadn’t yet achieved those as he hadn’t started working out as much.

You hadn’t fallen for him because of the way he could pick you up or spin you around as though you were a mannequin rather than a human being. You had fallen for Changbin because of his character, the way he could make you smile or laugh with only a few words. That he had gotten so muscular over the past two years was merely an extra which you didn’t mind. Frankly, you would have loved him with or without the few kilos of extra beef.

Still, you couldn’t help yourself wanting to touch him, lick him, or anything really. Nothing was off the table with the two of you, and even though your boyfriend was sweaty at the moment, you couldn’t help wanting to be closer to him. It became apparent at that moment that he wasn’t the only one riled up by the lack of sexual activity over the past few weeks.

“You know, there are quicker ways to get rid of an erection than waiting.” The words had left your mouth before you could think again about offering to help him out.

Changbin swiftly set the weights down again, his hands resting on his thick thighs as he looked at you with a smirk. Obviously, he understood what you were trying to say immediately.

“Are you serious? Here? A public place?”

Frankly, you hadn’t done many spicy things outside your own four walls, but there were first times for everything. Also, you weren’t sure you could wait to get home, wanting to pull those clothes off your boyfriend asap.

It was late anyway, and when you had come to pick him up from the studio, the whole building was pretty much empty. Right now, you thanked the lord that Chan had a dinner scheduled with his girlfriend. It gave you the perfect opportunity for some one-on-one time with your boyfriend.

“Sure. I mean, who’s gonna catch us? JYP?”

When Changbin realised you were right, that no one was there to catch you, he instantly lifted himself up. With a hurried sweep, he grabbed his towel and water bottle before making his way to you, his hand casually catching yours.

“Why are we still here then? Let’s go!”

A giggle left your lips at your boyfriend’s eagerness, the kiss he planted on your lips in excitement lasting only a second or two.

“Wait, my water bottle!” It still sat by the cross-trainer, long forgotten. There would have been plenty time to get it, but apparently, Changbin had other plans.

“I’ll buy you a new one.”

As Changbin dragged you from the gym to the changing rooms just a few doors down, you checked the halls one last time, making sure no one was around. When you realised everything was quiet, you bit your lip in anticipation.

The second you had reached the room, Changbin opened the door impatiently, pulling you inside. He closed the door behind you with a loud thud, and you found yourself pressed against the cold material instantly.

“This is so exciting,” your boyfriend pointed out before his lips met yours in an eager kiss. You could taste the sweat on his upper lip, though you couldn’t have cared less. Changbin’s strong hands instantly came to your waist, keeping you in place as his hip pressed into yours hungrily. “Let’s take this off, shall we?” A second later, your shirt was off you as Changbin’s hands came up to cup your breasts over the fabric of your sports bra.

“Do you like it? I bought it last week,” you questioned as Changbin eyed the white material.

“I do. I’d like it more if you took it off, though.”

“Sure. You first.”

With a smirk still plastered on his face, your boyfriend’s hands came to the hem of his shirt as he pulled it over his head. You bit your lip at the view, your mouth watering at the sight of his delicious peck muscles. Apart from his arms, they were probably your favourite extra.

“Your turn!” Changbin said before you could even think about touching him. You could get to that later, anyway. “And take off the shoes.”

Without as much as a hint of hesitation, you slipped out of your new clothing item and your sneakers, leaving you in only your pants and panties. Changbin followed suit, kicking his shoes and socks away as he came closer to you again.

His hands found yours as he pressed them against the door beside your head so you couldn’t move them. His body flushed against you was enough to declare you officially trapped.

When Changbin’s lips found yours again, his tongue instantly connecting with yours, he ground his hips into you, effectively making you sigh into him. You could feel him grinning against your mouth.

“I might have been wrong before. Your sex noises are way better than your workout noises,” Changbin pointed out. “They’re like music to my ears.”

“Maybe you should make a song out of them. This way, you can listen to me while working out.”

“Tempting- but I’d rather not get a boner while working out with Chan. This-” Rutting his hips into yours, you felt his erection more prominent than before. “This is for you and for you only.”

“Good.”

Your boyfriend’s lips met yours again, this time slightly rougher as he evidently attempted to move things along. Soon enough, his tongue met your neck as he sucked on the skin, causing another whimper to leave you. After years of being together, he clearly knew all your buttons by heart.

As Changbin reached your breast, your moaning turned into groaning, the frustration reaching a new high. His mouth engulfed your nipple, lightly grazing it with his teeth before he let his tongue run over it. The arching of your back was the only indication he needed to know his advances caused the wanted impact on you.

When his hands ran down your arms and to your waist, you felt goosebumps rise all over your body as a rush of blood went to your core. You had always loved how your boyfriend could turn you to mush at his hands, especially now that you had seen him work out. All the strength in his arms didn’t change how carefully he handled you; as though you’d break under too much pressure.

Your hands came to Changbin’s hair as he kissed all over your chest, entangling with the bundle as you closed your eyes and threw your head back at the pleasure. Only when he went further down, eventually landing on his knees – like you weren’t turned on enough already, making your heart skip a few beats – did you look down at him.

A smile spread on your lips as you knew what was coming.

“These,” Changbin’s hands came around your thighs as she slapped one of them hungrily, “make me go crazy. I couldn’t stop thinking about burying my head between them when you were doing that exercise earlier. And I do think we should get one of those exercise machines for our house. Just so we can misuse it. Every. Single. Day.”

With those words, Changbin started dragging your shorts down your legs, effectively taking your panties off with them. You quickly swiped them away with your foot so they wouldn’t get in the way of things.

“I think there are machines for that exact use. Why don’t we get one of those?” You couldn’t deny the thought exciting you. Smaller toys had been part of your love life since the beginning, but never something as massive as this.

“And I think I absolutely fucking love you.”

Without another second of hesitation, Changbin buried his head between your thighs, his tongue licking a rough strip up your folds. It made your legs quiver as you pulled at his hair. You were still pretty beat from your previous workout so that your legs were almost giving out beneath you was no surprise. Especially when your boyfriend made you feel so good on top of everything.

One of his arms kept you spread for him as his other came around your thigh, lifting it up and over his shoulder. It gave him much better access so his second hand could wander around your body, keeping you in place at your spine.

Changbin’s tongue ran along your entrance a couple times, dipping in only slightly before precisely meeting your nub. It sent shock waves down your back as he knew exactly how you liked it. He soon tilted his head, eyes closing as he seemed to enjoy this as much as you did. Perhaps even more.

The way he ate you out, fast – almost maliciously so – you knew you wouldn’t last for too long. That, paired with the excitement about someone possibly walking in on you at any given time, took you straight to cloud nine. Sure, you hadn’t noticed anyone before, but that didn’t mean no one was actually around.

When Changbin’s teeth came into play, lightly running over your nub every few licks, a loud cry escaped your throat. You bucked your hips into him involuntarily, the knee currently not resting on his shoulder quivering heavily. Had he not held you by your leg, you would have fallen to your knees at the pleasure running through your system. Changbin seemed to notice how difficult it was for you to concentrate on anything but the pain in your leg, quickly deciding to help you out.

You were used to having one of your legs positioned over your boyfriend’s shoulder, opening up possibilities for him to reach deeper – better. So, when Changbin pulled your second leg up, pulling it over his other shoulder, you were more than just stunned. In the new position, one you had never tried before – you fully sitting on his shoulders – a whole different set of possibilities opened up.

That Changbin could even carry you like this, all your weight pressing onto him, was a miracle. Sure, he benched more than your weight and probably pulled just as much, but this was still different. You weren’t dead weight like the metal sitting only rooms away; you’re a human. It was you and every kilo you brought to the table.

Your surprise and fear for your boyfriend’s well-being were swiftly overshadowed when you noticed just how much he enjoyed this new position. It gave him total control over your body, where to put you and how to bend you. And that control, he used to both your advantages.

As your back was pressed against the cold metal of the door, your hands automatically came to Changbin’s hair, pulling on it as he dove in deeper. His hands by your spine pushed you closer against him as you feared he might suffocate. He couldn’t have possibly gotten the necessary oxygen in this seemingly uncomfortable position. And, still, it didn’t impact his action as much as you had anticipated. It might have even spurred him on further.

His humming vibrated through your whole body, sending shock waves to every fibre of your being. You couldn’t help but whimper at the feeling, noticing the smirk against your core once he heard. One of his hands left your spine to slap your butt as he started massaging it, only encouraging you to be less cautious of the noise leaving your body.

Changbin’s second hand snuck around your body, running up your stomach and towards your breast, stroking it roughly as his fingers ran over your nipple. This, paired with his second hand on your butt and his mouth on your core, made you shiver and twitch against him. His tongue lapping at your juices, so precisely meeting every tiny spot between your legs, brought you close as fast as barely before.

“Fuck,” you sobbed once the tip of his muscle ran down to your hole, fucking inside hastily. It certainly wasn’t long enough to reach every spot within you, but it felt great, nonetheless. So much so that you could have stayed like this forever.

For all you cared, Changbin could have eaten you out like this the whole night. Though you doubted it would be enough to finish either of you.

So, when Changbin slowly and ever-so-carefully set your legs back onto the ground, his mouth leaving your heat, you weren’t mad. As your legs quivered on either side of him, he came up from the floor, standing right in front of you as he leaned in for a long, somewhat innocent kiss.

“We’re so gonna do that more often,” Changbin breathed against your lips as a smirk spread on his. “I’ll get undressed. Meet you in the shower?”

All you could muster was a nod as you shakily started making your way towards the shower cubicles. Finding your ass in a slap as you moved, you jerked forward in unexpectedness.

“Sorry, my hand slipped.” The smirk on his face told you otherwise, though you naturally ignored the comment as you continued your path further back.

The moment you found yourself under the warm water, the liquid running through your hair and down your body, you felt yourself relax. The jets softly massaged your back and the muscles which had gotten so tense from leaning against the metal door for too long, causing a few moans to slip out of your mouth.

It wasn’t until you felt a presence behind you that you came back from your trance, the thick fingers around your waist causing a smile to spread on your face.

“I hope the shower isn’t making you feel better than I do...” Voice trailing off, Changbin’s lips came to your neck, running along the vein at the side. You moaned at the feeling, even more relaxing than the shower itself, a smile spreading on his lips. “I take that as a ‘no’.”

With his hands running up your body, fingering over your perked nipples, you arched your back against his front. His arousal became unmistakably clear to you when you felt him poke one of your ass cheeks. You bit your lip at the sensation, proud of your effect on his body.

His tongue ran over your neck, down your left shoulder and over to your right as his hands softly massaged your breast. The shower jets only added to the sensation, your head soon thrown to the side to give Changbin better access to your earlobe. He twirled it between his teeth, growling in your ear as you continuously pushed your ass against him.

“Fuck, you’re so hot like this.” Smiling at your words, you tried turning around to kiss him, though his strong arms prevented any unapproved movement. “Stay like this. Perfectly still for me to touch and do as I please. You like that, don’t you?”

Humming in answer, Changbin ran one hand down your spine, thumb pressing into your muscles on either side. When he reached your butt, he grabbed one of your cheeks, pulling it to the side before letting it slap back against the other. He did the same thing to the other, his hand reaching even deeper, running two fingers through your folds to test your wetness. It made you moan loudly, the sound echoing from the tiled walls. To neither of your surprise, you were drenched.

“Ready, baby?”

You merely nodded, forming words impossible at this point. Not with how much need was radiating from your every pore.

Putting your hands against the wall in front of you, you leaned forward to give him better access. With one of his hands pressing against your lower back, the other guiding him towards your entrance, it took him less than 5 seconds to enter you, bottoming inside you.

“Mhm…”

“Feel good, baby?” Changbin pulled you back against his chest, slipping out just a tad at the movement. You agreed with a nod, hands reaching back to touch his hips.

“Move- please.”

Chuckling at your attempt to talk, Changbin tilted your head to the side with two fingers, kissing the corner of your mouth before slowly pulling out and plunging himself back in. “I fucking love you. Did I tell you that?”

His length dragged deliciously against your swollen walls in this position, meeting that spot inside you every time. It took him a few seconds to find a rhythm before his hips settled at snapping against yours in perfect timing with your breathing. At first, at least.

A few minutes into it, Changbin sped up, your hands coming from your side – holding onto his at your waist – to the wall in front of you. You needed to stabilise yourself in some way, his forceful thrusts sending you straight to heaven. He took a step forward to keep reaching deep inside, your back arching for comfort. It also helped you focus on not coming already.

“Fuck, if you keep clenching like this...”

Changbin didn’t end his sentence, but you understood him perfectly anyway. Knowing he wasn’t doing any better than you calmed you down, your walls relaxing slightly. It sent you closer quicker, but you knew he wasn’t far behind, so it was alright.

Soon enough, one of his hands reached around your body again, twisting your nipples once before travelling down your front. How he even had a head for helping you out when he was so close himself was beyond you. Your head started spinning when two of his fingers met your nub, roughly circling the flesh.

Letting your head hang slack in front of you, you squeezed your eyes shut at the sensation, the water running down your back only adding to it. You started twitching against him, your body leaving your control at his skilled technique. All you could do was hold onto the wall, trying to relieve some tension by dragging your fingers against the tiles. Your knuckles soon turned white, your head dizzy, and your sight blurry once Changbin angled his hips to reach your spot.

“Fuck-”

Your body started shaking at the approach of your inevitable release, Changbin pulling you flash against him. His arm wrapped around your front, keeping you stable against him as your hands reached back to grab him. With his head back at the side of your head, kissing your skin and attempting to give some momentum to the moment, you grabbed his hair, pulling lightly as the high came crashing over you.

Spasming against him, loud moans escaping your mouth like a waterfall, Changbin held you as close as possible, guiding you through it. He slowed down his thrusts for a few seconds, fingers circling your nub at a less demanding pace. His touch never stopped, simply helping you through the high but not letting you calm down just yet.

“That was so hot, baby,” Changbin whispered in your ear before picking up the pace of his hips and fingers. It sent you right back to the white-gazed, world-spinning high you hadn’t had the chance to come down from. “You think you can do it again?”

“I don’t-” your words were cut off when he sped up, going even harder and faster than he did earlier. The overstimulation set in soon enough, your mouth hanging slack as whimpers tumbled over your tongue. “Fuck, fuck, fuck-”

“Just like that, baby. Come for me again!”

How you did it, you wouldn’t have been able to tell with a gun to your head. You had never come a second time this quick after your first time. Until now, that was.

Maybe it was how well Changbin knew your body, being able to coax orgasm after orgasm out of you at a speed that could have been world record worthy. Maybe, it was the whole ‘people might walk in on you any second’-situation. You didn’t have the head to care as you kept spasming against his front, feeling him release with a groan in your ear.

You rode out both your highs in about a minute, his movement never stopping but calming down with every second until he finally stopped. Changbin didn’t withdraw just yet, though he took the opportunity of complete calmness to press a soft kiss against your cheek.

Still catching your breath after two back-to-back orgasms, you merely smiled at his sweet action, hands holding onto him behind you.

“That-” Changbin cut himself off, also trying to get his breathing under control. It took him a few moments, but then he pulled out of you, spinning you around on wobbly legs. Kissing you for the first time in what felt like hours, you felt yourself reaching earth again after being sent to heaven twice in a matter of seconds. “The single, most hottest thing you ever did.”

“‘t wasn’t me. All you.”

That you still couldn’t speak properly further proved just how high up he had brought you. Changbin chuckled at your attempt to talk, forehead pressing against yours as you started feeling his release dribble down your leg. Good thing you were already in the shower, or else it would have made a complete mess.

“Let’s settle on team effort.” You giggled at his words, feeling your eyes and legs giving out on you. Had it not been for Changbin’s hands at your sides, you would have collapsed already. “You tired, baby?”

You didn’t need to answer that question as your boyfriend slowly guided you to the floor, helping you settle against the wall. The water was still running over your body as he disappeared for a few seconds. When he came back, he had shower gel, shampoo, and your sports bra with you, so you wouldn’t have to sit on the cold floor and risk catching a UTI. After that workout, you wouldn’t be needing it tonight anyway.

Turning your back to him, Changbin squeezed some of the shampoo onto his fingers before bringing them to your hair, softly spreading it over your scalp. The touch felt like magic, pumping energy back into your body. Same with the shower gel, which Changbin massaged into your back once he was done with your hair. You moaned at the feeling, your muscles relaxing at his perfectly calm touch.

Changbin always found ways to take ‘aftercare’ to a whole nother level.

“You good to walk? Or do you want me to carry you?”

“I can walk,” you told him, getting off the floor. Your legs were still pretty unstable, shaking under your weight. As though you hadn’t learned to walk yet.

“Okay, Bambi. Let me help you.” Swept off your feet, Changbin carried you out of the shower stalls and back into the changing area. You giggled in his arms, time and time again surprised by his strength. He almost made it look like you weighed nothing.

Wrapping you in a towel, Changbin left you for maybe a minute to clean himself. It gave you time to calm down further, your head and body almost completely back to normal once he came back into the room. As he dried himself off, you couldn’t help your wandering eyes running over his body. A real sight for the Gods, your boyfriend was.

“I’m sorry,” you apologised, much to Changbin’s surprise. His eyebrows drew together, confusion taking over his face as he came closer, the towel hanging dangerously loose around his waist.

“What for?”

“You couldn’t finish your workout because of me.”

In your head, you knew he didn’t mind. Still, you felt bad you hadn’t let him finish off his routine because of your arousal. And, frankly, your unwillingness to work out even a minute longer.

“You’re a little stupid-head, you know that?” Changbin asked in amusement, playfully shoving your head as he seated himself next to you. “I’d do you over a workout anytime.” He kissed you lightly, tongue brushing against your lower lip for only a second before he pulled away. “Now, turn around, so I can get changed.”

You laughed at his demand, putting your hands over your eyes, fingers spread apart as far as possible.

“Eyes are closed. Go ahead!”

Changbin laughed at your action, a few emotions written on his face simultaneously. Though, it didn’t take much of you to recognise the main one. “Fuck, I don’t think I can love you more than right now.”

And he meant it.

Masterlist Leave feedback!

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satorisoup · 8 months

Text

★ THE AFTER PARTY

⋆ 3 - PROPOSITION

to say you were nervous would be a complete understatement. the time now reads around 2:30, and in just an hour and a half, you would be meeting with the manager of the nekodani, without any knowing of what it could be about.

you probably should be getting ready now, as it was about a 20 minute drive to the location alisa had sent you.

your teeth are brushed, your normal makeup looks as is usually does, and your hair is styled presentably so. opting for something atleast a little more than casual wear, you throw on what you think is your best bet. soon enough, you’re ready and out the door to begin your drive.

you only send your friends a quick text letting them know you’re on your way there and you’ll let them know how it goes, and you’re feeling almost overwhelmed the entire drive. “don’t fuck this up” is a sentence that’s practically on replay as it skips through your mind like a beat, all the way until you’re arriving in a parking way. “you’ve arrived” sings through your car radio as your gps declares it.

exiting your car, you make your way to the office buildings door. nerves prickle at your fingertips as your hands curl into a fist, three knocks placed on the wooden frame in front of you. a latch is clicked out of place before the door is sliding open.

a woman with long, gray hair stands before you. long legs that adorn a pencil skirt and a blouse that shouldn’t look that good on anyone, her face still youthful with plump lips and rosy cheeks. she looks like a model, and you’re soon realizing, she is. you’ve seen her face in multiple stores, plastered on their posters.

“are you y/n?” she asks you, a questioning smile on her face.

“yes, that’s me.”

her smile only grows brighter before she motions you inside. “great! please, come in and take a seat!” she says.

you’re soon seated in a chair to the opposite side of her desk as she takes her seat herself. your mind still races with questions that have yet to be answered, and when she speaks, it’s almost as if she can hear your thoughts.

“i’m sure you’re wondering why i’ve called you here, so let me start with introductions. i’m alisa haiba, and i’m the manager for the band N3KODANI. i’ve heard through a grapevine that you’re a songwriter, correct?” she questions.

“yes, singer and songwriter. my artist name is vocaliz3.”

“perfect! to cut to the chase, i do have a proposition for you. if you will hear me out, as you are the only artist i’ve found so far to be fitting.” and you’re quick to answer with an “of course.”

“As a band, we take our fans into high consideration, as they are our greatest asset to being at the top of the music industry. as of recently, we’ve noticed quite a few have started to complain about the lack of new music on our part. i had a discussion with our band members, and we came to a quick realization that with the amount of work we already have to put in, and our skills in the field of writing music, we simply can’t do it ourselves. that’s where you come in.”

“how so?” you inquire.

“your artist name had circulated around and came back to us. i’ve overviewed some of your pieces, and you do have a natural talent. seeing as how i really can’t hire anybody for this position, i took you into account considering you already have a role in the music industry. what i’m trying to get at is,” she pauses before she looks at you, “i’d like to hire you as our songwriter for N3KODANI.”

there’s a silence that envelopes the room at her statement as your eyes slightly widen and your composure is almost broken, and you fight with every ounce of professionalism you have left in your bones to ask your next question.

“i understand. what would this entail for me?”

she smiles before she’s pulling out a folder from her drawer, placing it on the desk between you two.

“i’m glad you asked, as i’m sure you know it won’t be easy. for starters, i’d need you to write songs to create a new album. i would also need you to be present for recordings in the studio to help our members in practicing your pieces. within all of this, we are planning to go on tour to perform these songs in 2 months time. osaka, kyoto, nagasaki, and lastly, shibuya here in tokyo. i would need you to attend our tour. all expenses paid, of course. along with payment for your hard work. i know this is a lot to be asking, but it is rather urgent. i would need to know within the next few days if you’re willing to take up this offer.” she finishes.

“i definitely will need some time to consider this. if i may know, what is the salary? and how often would i be needing to be present?” you ask, trying to ignore the itch in your brain to automatically agree with her.

“everything is in this folder that i’ve compiled. salary, schedules, locations, you name it. please, take it with you while you consider. i’ve also left my phone number in there, for when you have your answer.” you hum in acknowledgment as you thank her, and suddenly she gasps before she continues, “oh damn! how unprofessional of me. im extremely sorry to cut this so short, but unfortunately i do have to get going, i truly appreciate you taking your time to meet with me.” she says, standing from her office chair.

“don’t worry, no problem at all. i should be the one thanking you for the opportunity. i will make sure to get back to you as soon as i can!” you say, now walking back out of the door you came in through at the start.

“it’s really no worries. i hope to hear from you soon. have a nice day!” she responds.

you now sit in your car, bubbles of excitement and bewilderment swarm through your body as you stare at the folder that sits in the passenger seat. before you know it, you’re grabbing your phone with enthralled shaking hands to make a text.

<- PREV ⋆ MASTERLIST ⋆ NEXT ->

★ FUN FACTS

⋆ alisa is still a model, following the canon timeskip.

⋆ osamu is the least humorous of the group, but he still has his moments.

⋆ TAGLIST

if your name is in bold, i can not tag you.

@bontensbabygirl @aichiomei @toomanygoldfish @withlovekiki @strwbrryeyes @lifesucksweswallow @snail-squasher @le000xxgrd

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xmads-omensx · 4 days

Text

CHAPTER 1 - I SIT HERE AND SMILE DEAR

MASTERLIST

Word Count: 4,091

Content warnings: Swearing, angst, fluff, violence f you squint (pushing and shoving in a malicious way), mentions of alcohol, Ronnie Radke, blood, descriptions of a small wound

Tag List: @concreteangel92 @lma1986 @dragonfly92 @thisis--mj @bloody-delusion-expert @girlagainstg0d

(Please message or comment if you would like to be added to the taglist, or if I forgot to add you <3)

WARPED TOUR 2011 BECCA

My knee bounced up and down as I sat on the leather sofa in the tour bus. We had never had a proper tour bus before. The closest thing we had was Theo’s Dad’s old van that kept breaking down. Nerves shot through my body as I tried to slow my heart-rate and regain my normal breathing.

Warped Tour was by far the biggest tour we had ever done. Sure, we were still supporting other bands, but we weren’t performing in a small, run-down dive bar. This was real. Bring Me The Horizon. Pierce The Veil. Sleeping With Sirens. All Time Low. Motionless In White. Our favourite bands were playing alongside us. We were one of them.

“Quit bouncing your leg Becca, I feel like I’m experiencing a fucking earthquake right now, jeez.” Johnny, our bass player, complained.

The rest of the guys erupted in laughter.

“Calm your tits, Johnny! Leave me alone.” I laughed in reply.

I had never been this nervous for a set before. We only had one album out, Arachnophobia, that had been doing reasonably well, but I was still so nervous. What if we get booed off stage? What if we fuck up the timings? What if I trip and fall flat on my fucking face? Worst-case scenarios flashed through my mind at lightning speed, corrupting whatever positive and confident thought that I still possessed.

“I need some air.” I said to the guys in a small voice.

“You good?” Kevin, our lead guitar player called out to me from his seat at the opposite end of the sofa.

“No. I just need a minute of fresh air.” I tried to reassure him, ultimately failing miserably.

“You sure?” Luke, our rhythm guitar player asked from his bunk.

“Yep. I won’t be long.” I mumbled, just loud enough for them to hear.

I walked around the festival site for a little while. The tents where bands were stood meeting fans and selling merch were absolutely packed. We had been selling merch and meting some fans as well, but nowhere near the scale of any of the bands situated near our tent.

This was our first ever festival. As I said, we were a small band. No one really knew who we were. That could also be said about some of the other bands on this tour as well to be fair. Warped Tour seemed like a brilliant opportunity for new fans to start listening to us when our manager, Nick, pitched it to us. But now it seemed like literal hell on earth. God, what if people left our set?

I tried to push those thoughts down, but nothing worked. As soon as I forced out one doubt, another just popped up in its place. It felt like my mind was the hydra from ancient Greek myth. Equally as venomous and persistent. It was going to be difficult to keep those negative feelings at bay for the rest of the tour. I had always struggled with not feeling good enough, and this tour was just amplifying those ideas. If nobody came to our set, everything would have been for nothing.

My phone started ringing in my pocket after about twenty minutes of my walk. It was Nick. I stared at the screen for a second. Breathing in through my nose and out through my mouth.

“Hey.” I said straight after answering the call.

“Hey yourself! Your set is in five minutes Bex. Get your ass to the stage right fucking now before I either lose my shit or lose my job. Whichever comes first.” Nick yelled down the line over the band who were finishing up their set before ours was due to start. I could hear the smile in his voice.

“Yep I’ll be there in a sec. I lost track of time, sorry.” I replied hurriedly.

“Great. Thanks. See you in a sec then.” Nick finished.

I started running back towards the stage when I bumped into something. It felt like a lamppost or something tall and thin like that. Except there weren’t any lampposts here. I looked up to see a tall, heavily tattooed man with long, black hair looking down at me with a slightly pained smile on his beautiful face.

I didn’t have time for this. I called out a quick sorry as I kept running towards the stage.

By the time I got there, I was doubled over and panting trying to catch my breath. “She’s here!” Luke shouted as I rounded the corner to the side-stage area. I was handed a microphone by Nick

“Good luck you guys. You’ve got this.” Nick encouraged with his arms round mine and Johnny’s shoulders. I took a breath in through my nose and out through my mouth as the rest of the guys walked onto the stage to begin the intro to the first song on our album, Make me Wanna Die, “Give ‘em hell kid.” Nick whispered in my ear with a pat on my back. I closed my eyes for a second then stepped out onto the stage.

The world around me seemed to slow down as I lifted my mic up to my mouth to start the song. My lyrics flew out of my mouth with a natural ease. This wasn’t as hard as I thought. A large crowd had formed at the stage. Not too bad for our first show of the tour. Some people in the crowd were singing along to the song, which filled me with pure joy and unrivalled confidence. I started to move and jump across the stage which excited the crowd even more. By the time we were halfway through our set, the crowd had grown significantly and even began singing even louder to the words that they knew.

I had never experienced such a buzz from the crowd. It felt electric. Looking at the rest of the band, it looked like they felt the same. Wide, beaming smiles were plastered on their faces. I was sure I wore a similar one on my own face. In fact, my face hurt because of the smile that covered my face.

Up until this point, the largest show that we had ever played was to only about eighty people. But now, we were performing to a crowd of about two hundred and fifty. It wasn’t a massive crowd by any means, but it was huge to us. All of our favourite bands started out like this, playing for much smaller crowds. It gave me hope that one day we could be as big as those bands. Someday.

“How is everyone doing?” I shouted into my microphone.

The crowd cheered in response. Holy shit.

“You guys having fun?” I asked.

The crowd cheered in response again. This felt so surreal.

“That’s good. We are too. You guys have been a great crowd.” I began. “This is our first Warped Tour, so thanks for making our first show sop fun because we are having an absolute blast up here.”

The crowd cheered and applauded.

“As you have probably gathered, I’m not exactly brilliant at this whole crowd work thing, but I’m not really used to crowds as fantastic as you guys.” I said with a huge grin on my face.

The crowed roared with cheers and applause.

“So anyway, this song is our last song of the set, and if you don’t mind we would like to play r for you.” I began. “I mean, it’s not like you really have much of a choice, we pre-decided the setlist before we came on stage.”

Laughter erupted around me.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a tall, skinny guy with long dark hair cascading over his shoulders with tattoos on his arms, at least I thought they were tattoos. I couldn’t tell if it was black paint or tattoos. Either way, they looked good. He was standing backstage with four other guys who were all fitted in similar outfits. They must be the band following us. The man who caught my eye was the tallest of the group. He looked familiar but I couldn’t place it.

“This song was written by one of my favourite bands and are one of the bands who inspired me to pursue music. We hope you have had a great time here watching our set. We have been The Magpies and this is ‘Call Me’ by Blondie.

The intro started and an immense sense of joy coursed through my veins. Since I was a kid, Debbie Harry had been one of my heroes and I was so proud that we got to play one of her songs to a crowd of people.

And that was the moment that I knew we were going to make it.

“Holy fucking shit guys, you crushed that.” Nick yelled out at us with an impossibly huge grin plastered on his face. He clapped us each one-by-one as we came off of the stage. “The crowd fucking loved you guys.”

“That was kickass.” Luke exclaimed with a look that I can only describe as pure joy.

“Dude what the fuck just happened.” Johnny exclaimed.

“Fuck that was sick!” Kevin yelled directly into my ear as he swung his arm over my shoulder.

“Damn I’m pumped!” Theo laughed.

“How the fuck did we pull that off?” I laughed along with the rest of the guys.

“Because we are hot shit Bex. Hot fucking shit.” Kevin shouted back at us as he followed Nick away from the stage and towards the bus.

I paused for a moment and watched the guys, my family, walk ahead of me. I never thought anything like this could happen to us. Let alone at such a young age. I was only 18 when we did our first Warped Tour.

“Come on slow coach we want to go hang before the barbeque.” Nick called back at me. I laughed and followed after them

Every year, there was a barbeque on the first day of tour. It was mainly so that everyone in all the bands and crew could meet eachother. Kind of like an icebreaker night I guess. This was going to be the most nervous I had been so far, including the show. Because now, I had no choice but to meet all of those bands who were practically the reason that I made music. Plus, I was pretty confident in saying that meeting Oli Sykes in person might literally kill me.

The fact that we would be meeting our heroes in such a short space of time was seriously starting to make me freak out. How were we worthy of all of this?

We made it to the bus and all sat down to play some Xbox together before the barbeque. Luke had flung himself onto the black, leather L-shaped sofa opposite the door.

“I don’t give a fuck what the rest of you want, I’m playing Call Of Duty.” He said whilst signing into the game and running a hand through his short blonde hair.

“What the fuck man! We play that all the fucking time.” Johnny complained.

“Let me be play too and you can do whatever you want.” Kevin laughed whilst grabbing the second controller and joining Luke in the game.

“Fuck you guys I’m going to have a nap before we have to go.” Theo sighed with a yawn, tying his shoulder length, curly brown hair into a low bun as he walked towards his bunk.

I sat next to Luke and laughed at their childish bickering as they played their game. Johnny sat shouting commands at the two other boys.

“If you want to sit there and yell at us then you should have joined the fucking game asshole.” Kevin laughed, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose as they had begun to slip down.

“Fuck you, there’s only two controllers dipshit.” Johnny argued back.

I started to block out their arguing as I picked up the book that I had been reading and snuggled further into the corner of the sofa. I had found comfort in books during the very short time that we had been touring. Sure, performing on stage was an escape from real life, for both us and the crowd, but that was still work at the end of the day. Reading, however, had the power to transport you to a different world entirely, a different dimension even if that’s what you wanted to find. It allowed my mind to escape the cage that it was trapped in and explore the endless possibilities that life held. It allowed me to hide from my problems. To escape reality. To run and never stop running, not until I was happy, not until I was free. And that freedom was the greatest feeling in the world.

Before I knew it, my eyes had started to droop and I drifted off into a peaceful sleep. The best that I would probably have on this tour. My dreams were surprisingly pleasant as I fell deeper into my slumber before a pair of hands grasped my shoulders and began to shake me awake.

“Rebecca…. Beccaa…. Bex…. Beckyyy…..” A deep sing-song voice chanted as he shook my shoulders. My eyes fluttered awake, and leaning over me stood Theo. “There she is.” He said once my eyes had fully opened.

“What?” I mumbled as I rubbed my eyes.

“We have to go in like forty minutes, and we thought you might want to get ready.” He went on.

I stood up and stretched my arms over my head before letting out a yawn and making my way to the bathroom so that I could re-do my makeup and brush the birds nest that had formed in my hair.

I decided not to do anything crazy and to just touch up the makeup that I already had on, which was a more natural look with dark brown eyeshadow lining my upper lash line just a little bit. I tied up the top half of my long, brunette hair into a bun at the back of my head, letting some face-framing pieces hang loosely around my face. I changed into a white tank top with spaghetti straps and some black wide-leg ripped jeans with fishnets underneath. I grabbed an old, red Flash hoodie, that previously belonged to my ex but I liked the hoodie too much to return it, and tied it around my waist just in case it got chillier later in the night.

“Okay I’m ready.” I announced to the guys who were all sat on the sofa arguing over what movie to watch later. Unsurprising as they usually had this argument, then would watch a movie that wasn’t even part of the equation to begin with.

“Great, let’s go.” Nick said as he stood up, rubbing his hands together.

We all nodded in agreement and followed him out of the bus and towards the barbeque. There was an opening in the middle of where the buses were parked in which a large fire pit, surrounded by mismatched deckchairs, had been set up. The barbeque itself was positioned next to a staff bus, that the Warped Tour management team were staying in. They were the ones who essentially ran the tour and wanted to ensure that it went as smoothly as possible.

Straight away, a British accent caught my attention as five guys started approaching us. “Hey! You guys must be the Magpies.” One of the men asked us with a huge grin on his face.

Holy fucking shit. Danny Worsnop from Asking Alexandria was talking to us. THE Danny Worsnop from THE Asking Alexandria was talking to us. Us? We were nobodies here. He fucking knew who we were. Holy fucking shit I must still be dreaming.

“Yep that’s us.” Johnny said with a smile on his face, sticking out his arm to shake Danny’s hand. “Don’t worry, you don’t have to introduce yourselves, we are big fans, Becca especially. But I’m Johnny and I’m the bass player, this dumbass is Theo our drummer, Luke and Kevin here are our guitar players, and this shy bitch is Becca, our singer.” Johnny introduced. We each raised our hands in a wave when Johnny said our names.

“It’s so nice to meet you all. It’s about time a new band joined the lineup.” Ben laughed.

“Well, the Black Veil Brides guys are new here.” Cam said.

“Yeah, obviously, but I mean a band we haven’t met before.” Ben laughed at his bandmate and rolled his eyes at Cam playfully.

“We toured with them last year for a while. They’re great guys.” James said to the rest of us.

“Hey, you should totally meet them later if you’re up for it.” Ben enthusiastically suggested.

“Yeah, totally.” Theo said with a smile. “But let’s eat first, I’m fucking starving.”

“Agreed.” Danny laughed. We all started walking towards the barbeque and Ben fell into step with me. We fell into easy conversation. I could tell immediately that we were going to be good friends.

“So how did your first show go?” Ben asked.

“It went fucking amazingly. We’ve never played to a crowd that big before, and they actually seemed to enjoy our set which was fucking brilliant.” I gushed.

“Yeah, I caught some songs towards the end of your set. You guys fucking crushed it. Andy said he saw the last few songs and thought you guys were pretty cool.” He said.

“Andy?” I asked.

“Yeah. Oh shit you haven’t met him yet. He’s the singer in Black Veil Brides. He’s super cool, I think you’d like him.” Ben explained.

“Cool. It’s weird having this many people on a tour together.” I continued. “It’s only ever really been us supporting another band. Never any more than that.”

“I remember when we started out like that. We thought we’d never make it, but look where we are now.” He laughed. “Once you get used to it, it gets less weird.”

“Yeah, I guess so.” I replied.

Before I even realised it, we had reached the barbeque. People from various different bands and their crew mingled about as they all socialised with eachother. It seemed as though most of the people here already knew eachother from previous tours.

Ben introduced me to his friends on the tour, which was already a shock to be hanging out with Ben fucking Bruce. I tried to push my nerves down as he introduced me to the likes of Vic Fuentes, Kelin Quinn, Oli Sykes, Chris Motionless and Ricky Horror. I surprised myself with how ‘normal’ I managed to act around them. After all, it’s not every day that you meet your favourite musicians. I tried to remind myself that I would be touring with these people, so it wouldn’t be the best idea to fangirl and embarrass myself the first time I met them.

Ben and I grabbed a burger each and sat down on some of the spare deck chairs to eat them.

“Have you just put gherkins in your fucking burger?” I asked Ben in utter disbelief.

“Yep.” He grinned, popping the p. “Do you have a problem with that?”

“Of course I do that’s disgusting! I don’t think we can be friends after this.” I gasped at him in mock offense.

“Wow. You’re one of those?” Ben chuckled.

“One of what?” I laughed at him.

“Someone who doesn’t have taste.” He laughed.

I threw my dirty napkin at him in response.

“EW!” He screamed dramatically, throwing his own napkin right back at me.

I laughed hysterically at him.

“Okay. I’m glad you two are having fun, but I was sitting there, so if you could just move that would be great.” A deep voice tore through the bliss that I was experiencing with Ben.

“Oh fuck off Ronnie, we both know you weren’t sat here.” Ben rolled his eyes.

“Seriously, Bruce? You’re gonna start shit on the first day of tour?” The man, who I assumed was called Ronnie sighed back.

“Just fuck off Ronnie, the no one has to start shit.” Ben said through gritted teeth.

“Seriously man, why do you have to make everything so damn hard all the time!” Ronnie shouted at Ben.

“I’m not the problem here man.” Ben raised his hands in mock surrender.

“Take your pretty friend here, and go suck each other’s faces somewhere else jackass!” Ronnie yelled.

“Woah, woah.” Ben started, raising his voice at Ronnie, “We both know that’s not what was happening here okay. Let’s just move on.”

“Move.” Ronnie said through gritted teeth.

“No.” Ben said with a laugh, as he leaned back in the chair and crossed his legs, relaxing further.

Before I could even register what was happening, Ronnie lunged forward and shoved Ben out of the chair backwards. I jumped up and pushed Ronnie backwards so that he couldn’t lunge towards Ben anymore. Instead, he only stumbled back a few steps before he shoved me backwards too, nocking my beer out of my hand, making it spill all over me. I put my hands below me to try and stop the fall, when I felt a sharp pain in my hand. I lifted my hand up to get a look at it, only to be greeted with a shard of glass poking out the palm of my hand and blood dripping from the wound.

I winced as I slowly tried to pull the broken glass out of my hand, completely oblivious to the fact that Johnny and Luke had ran over and dragged Ronnie away before punching him in the face, knocking him to the floor. The shard of glass wasn’t anything massive, but once it was out of my hand, more blood pooled in the palm of my hand.

From behind me, I felt a pair of arms snake underneath my armpits and begin to pull me up to my feet. Once I was standing again, I turned to see who had lifted me up. I was greeted by a chest clad in a black t-shirt with the Batman logo on. The shirt hung slightly loosely on the skinny frame of the person, who I assumed was a man, who now stood in front of me. I had to crane my neck to see his face, which was obscured by long black locks of hair. I could make out an array of tattoos on his arms that I hadn’t noticed before.

Holy shit. This was the guy that I had literally ran into before my set earlier.

“You okay? That looks deep.” He said, concern plastered all over his face as he took my hand in his much bigger one.

“Y-y-yeah.” I stuttered out, still in shock from what had just happened.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up.” He led me gently away from where Johnny and Luke were being held back by Asking Alexandria and Ronnie was being dragged away by Jacky Vincent and Ryan Seaman.

The man led me to a tour bus where we met another man, who also had long black hair.

“Hey man, what the fuck?” The new man said with an incredulous look on his face as we got closer to the bus.

“Ronnie is back on his dumbass shit.” The first man, who was still holding my elbow, said in reply.

“Of course he is.” The second man scoffed while going into the tour bus, holding open the door for myself and the first man.

Their tour bus looked pretty much the same as ours did, except there was lots of makeup all over the place and various items that looked like they were made of leather. It was messier than ours too which I liked. It made me feel better about how I left things when I was getting ready.

“This is Jake.” The first man gestured to the second man. “I’m not too sure where the others are though? Probably still at the barbeque. It’s Becca right?”

“Oh, yeah. That’s me.” I said quietly with a weak laugh.

He stared at me for a beat as I looked at him expectantly. It felt like he was looking right into my soul with those blue eyes of his.

“Who are you?” I asked timidly.

“Me?” He pointed at his chest.

I nodded my head. I could tell he wasn’t very good at talking.

“I’m Andy.” He said with a beautiful smile. “Pleasure to meet you.”

#andy biersack #fanfic #black veil brides #andy black #andy sixx #we don’t belong #BVB #Andy biersack fanfic #black veil brides fic

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lateforthisappgirl · 1 year

Text

Sexy nurse outfit part II | Choi Seungcheol

Part I is on my profile♥️

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The realisation that you are indeed sick hit you in the middle of the night. You couldn’t sleep for hours because of the awful headache and runny nose. Your throat felt like it was burning.

“I hate you Seungcheol” you said even tho he wasn’t even in your bed. Not even in your flat. He was probably asleep as a baby at his place so exhausted because of many promotions for the new album.

That’s why you still haven’t called him to complain. You knew that theoretically you consented to your make out session last week so it was as much your fault as his.

Still, right now you hated your boyfriend.

Another wave of pain went through your head. You moaned quietly and tried to get up to get some more meds from kitchen cupboard but quickly sat back. Everything was spinning around you.

“Great, thanks to his libido now both of us won’t get any sleep”

You had to call him. No family lived in Soul and your friends had work the next day or were on the night shifts.

“Yes?” his low voice in your ear made you angry and melted at the same time.

“I need you”you managed to say before plopping onto your cushions.

“Babe, you know I’m always ready and all of that but it’s” he must’ve looked at the clock because he stopped for a moment” middle of the night and tomorrow you have work.”

“Now you worry about my employment?”

“Huh?” he was so surprised by your sarcastic comment that it was the only answer he came up with. Also he was half-asleep.

“I DON’T WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH YOU RIGHT NOW. YOU JUST GAVE ME YOUR AWFUL ILLNESS AND NOW I CAN NOT STAND FROM MY BED!”

He had to move phone away from his ear to not go deaf.

„You sure it’s my virus? Your throat seems just fine” he joked

„Choi Seuncheol i swear to god…”

„See you in ten”

He hung up too quickly to hear a couple of not very nice words said towards him and the size of his friend.

You had to give your boyfriend that he always kept his promises. After ten minutes you heard door unlocking and after some shuffling in the kitchen he opened door to your bedroom.

Usually you would note to yourself how pretty he looked, hair put back in a small bun(his company made him grow them out and you loved it) dressed in comfy set of black pyjamas. So ready for the night filled with hugs and sweet words whispered to your ear.

But at the moment you only wanted to kill him.

“Look what you did” you whined and covered your face with blanket.

“Damn I have a really special influence on girls then” he joked again trying to cheer you up.

You smirked under your cover but quickly stopped to pout when he uncovered you to give you hot chocolate and meds.

“All of them” he said like it wasn’t pretty obvious

For a moment you wondered if pouting a little bit would be a good revenge for the last week but your head felt like it was gonna blow out so you took them without saying a word. He also made very good hot chocolate.

“Good girl” he commented and gave you a quick kiss smearing the leftover of your beverage on his lips. You smiled at him and gently removed it with your thumb.

“Cheol you forgot something”

He quickly stopped undressing himself to plop yourself next to you and looked at you scared.

“What? You need another blanket or this cough syrup that went bad the previous year but you still keep it in your cupboard?”

“No, I was promised a sexy nurse outfit” you giggled and he sighed sitting next to you and tucking you in.

“Tomorrow I will be whatever you want but right now I really need my beauty sleep”

“Any more beauty should be illegal” you commented and he smirked at you.

Being sick wasn’t so bad when he was next to you, in nurse costume or not.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hi my loveliest readers♥️ I hope you enjoyed this little slice of life fic. I hope you like it the same as the part I or more. Have the best day possible👌 also I love the thought of sarcastic Scoups

#seventeen imagines #seungcheol x reader #scoups x reader #scoups #seventeen #being sick is the worst #seventeen fic #seventeen fluff #fluff #suggestive joke #comfort #drabble

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ashlingiswriting · 1 year

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do i know you? chapter five

[ 3.5k words ] [ prev chapters: one, two, three, four ] [ masterlist ] "when are you gonna fucking learn?" richie jerimovich x reader, past mikey berzatto x reader, slow burn

you smash your alarm and kick off the sheets muttering fuck you fuck you fuck you in one long vicious chant, heart racing. this is your new wake up routine, it seems. you fight the urge to get up and do something, anything, to save him. anything, no matter how stupid. you get so sick of your own anxiety that you finally turn on a lamp and write him a note, just three sentences, the least number of words you could possibly use to say what you need to say.

you won’t give it to him, of course. you just had to get it out of your system.

if only richie would die in your dreams, then you could wake and have them contradicted by reality. but in your dreams he is always alive and holding a gun in readiness for tomorrow. no reality can disprove tomorrow.

though of course, he’s fine. that much is evident as soon as you see him.

he saunters in complaining about the new host of a local sports station, ted, nasally little bitch, and when you say you never listen to the radio, he calls you a real mcdonald’s number two, you know that?

no, richie, i don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.

and you’re off. no slumping on the concrete, no vacant eyes, no philosophy.

today’s a bit of show and tell, little lectures exchanged. you start with napoleon and josephine, because any history that’s not about chicago or world war two is news to him. you’ve stocked up on anecdotes with some library books, so you’re going full blast, and richie ends up thoroughly enjoying the batshit french lovers.

still not as good as the boston molasses flood, though, he says.

that’s his favorite of all the stories you’ve told him. twenty-one casualties and he’s charmed, the macabre little bastard.

when it’s his turn, richie shows you a whole album of eva on his phone, the full range of her five years on earth. from the photos and stories, you find out that eva is blonde like her mother, stubborn like her father, and where she got her brown eyes, nobody knows. the great obsession of her life is a cartoon about a family of australian dogs, although if the ipad is denied to her, then dancing, drawing, and doll death rituals are acceptable.

on a delusional note, you’d like to think that he put the album together specifically to show you. on a slightly less delusional note, he might be showing her to you because you expressed a willingness to kill for her.

as he flips back in time, eva gets smaller and smaller. there she is sitting in a huge pot. there she is in a tiny lacy hood. there she is lying on his chest with her head tucked just under his chin.

god, i love babies, you say.

really? his eyes rest on you, half-amused, half-doubtful.

you raise your chin, tilt challenge. why, do i not exude a nurturing, motherly aura?

nah, you exude—he lingers over the word exude so you know he thinks it’s unnecessarily frilly—the smell of newports and disapproval.

you gesture as if to say, duh. that’s motherhood.

richie half-laughs, half-scoffs. guess it depends on whose mother, he says.

you look at him, venture a question with one quick glance that he chooses not to answer.

so you really like babies, huh, he says instead, and there’s something so comfortable in it that you reply, yeah, i almost became obstetrician about it.

there’s a split second of silence before he says, but then?

goddammit, you’re getting sloppy. that’s as much as admitting to med school.

decided it was too much work, you say. why suffer my way through the mcat and med school and residency when i could just not?

he sucks air through his teeth in agreement. my thought process exactly. otherwise i would’ve become a doctor too.

uh huh. and what kind of doctor were you gonna be?

oh, same as you, he says airily. pussy doctor, doctor of the pussy. turns out no training needed, i’m a natural.

so yeah, richie’s fine.

it doesn’t stop you from dreaming, but at least now you know.

another night, you wake up before the dream gets bad, so the dread doesn’t have too strong a hold on you. that’s a much-needed relief. if you’d woken up at your worst, richie’s miserable little face would be setting you off like crazy.

as it is, you come to stand next to him and say, what’s up? a touch friendlier than usual. this time of winter, the cold bites you anyplace it can: forehead, nose, the place where your glove isn’t properly tucked into your coat. you ignore it.

tonight fucking sucked, richie says, putting his chest in the last word. we got killed today, absolutely fucking shattered. syd’s digital system broke carmy’s tiny little brain, he went off like a block of fuckin c4, and now we’re down a baker and a sous.

oof. they both quit?

yup, he says bitterly.

you expect a string of blame to follow, some insults for syd and marcus, or maybe even a rant against carmy for driving them away. but instead, there’s just silence. not all silences are bad, but this one is. for all his rivers of whinging about millennials and change and syd in particular, you can’t help but get the feeling that he’ll miss them both.

marcus was a good guy, he says eventually. and syd, syd’s not really replaceable.

that one stings, but it shouldn’t. you determinedly ignore it.

you want to offer comfort, but you’ve got nothing to hand. maybe pride would work? it’s hardly encouraging his better self, but you’ve got no other ideas.

you would never quit, you say.

he exhales smoke slowly. as he does, his eyes don’t move, but they change, and you wish you hadn’t said anything.

nope, he finally says, real quiet, bitter and sad. i never fucking do.

when he’s on his last cigarette, he just chucks the empty package at the trash. it misses, bouncing off the rim and landing on the sidewalk. fuckin a.

after a second, he stoops, picks it up, and throws the trash away.

you reach into your jacket and produce a full box of sapphires. glance at him like, two can play at that game, right? he takes one and offers you back the rest.

don’t insult me, you say, but you say it real nice.

he nods, lights up, and lapses into silence.

you can feel yourself leveling out with every passing minute he stands by your side. it’s peaceful. it’s deadly cold. he and carmy might be a little fucked tomorrow, but tonight you’re with him. things aren’t good, but they’re good.

i just don’t know what we’re gonna do, he says.

you shrug. it’s not dismissive, it’s practical. if he doesn’t know what to do, and more importantly, if carmy doesn’t know, then there’s no way you’ll be able to think of any useful suggestions.

for now? you say. go to bed.

his sideways look is a question that you know how to interpret.

don’t wallow in it, you say. clarification. you’re not telling him to fuck off, you’re telling him to take it easy.

he nods. i’m gonna be late tomorrow.

how come, anything fun?

fun, yeah, fun. he scoffs. we’ve got a bachelor party, favor for cicero. bunch of fucking animals, those guys.

well, don’t be scared, just stick with carmy. he’ll protect you.

and there it is. such a small smile, but you still got one out of him. night.

night.

once you’re inside, you glance back at him through the glass of the apartment doors, and only then do you notice that he’s limping a little as he walks away. it’s probably nothing, it’s probably a funny story, he wouldn’t—

shut the fuck up, you mutter, thoroughly sick of yourself, and go upstairs.

the next night, the dreams get bad and he doesn’t show up.

the thing that kills you isn’t the cold or the fear or the feverish overanalyzing. no, as the hours pass, you realize: if anything’s happened to him, you’ll have to live with this for the rest of your life. you had so many chances, but in the end you still did nothing. you had so many chances.

when are you gonna fucking learn?

you wake up on a memory, the way richie rubbed his forehead wearily and said, it was a nice poem. heartsick and sluggish, you turn off your alarm.

your apartment looks different with sunlight streaming in through your thin curtains, like you accidentally wound up in somebody else’s place. with gold light staining the fake wood table and the weak hanging watercolor, all the default decor, this place looks like a home.

it’s fucking weird.

then you remember you set an daytime alarm for a reason.

half an hour later, you’re picked up by a car and dropped at your destination, a tree-wrapped house that looks like it belongs in the suburbs. as you knock on the door, you replace your scowl with a look of neutral attentiveness, completing your transformation into a professional woman: white button down, navy slacks, caffeinated straight to hell. if you’re going to get fired, you can at least do it in dignity.

to your surprise, the door is opened not by a maid, but by alessandra herself. she glances out at the idle street over your shoulder before she says, come in. under any other circumstances, you’d be sweating a little. she’s got the natural grace of a gazelle and the faultless skin of a cover girl. you wouldn’t expect anything less of jack’s wife.

she leads you through the foyer into a sitting room, where linda is waiting, ensconced in a gigantic armchair. it would be a funny sight—with her short height, bouffant blonde hair, and blue eyes, linda makes you want to say, you see this tweety bird looking motherfucker—but richie’s not around to hear you and this is your boss’s wife. you keep it proper with a simple hello.

julie, thank you for coming, linda says, as though the invitation was one you could’ve turned down. can we get you something to drink?

you perch across from her on the sofa. no thank you.

are you hungry? she says, but she doesn’t wait for a reply, adding to alessandra: the pastries. and a half dozen of the mini quiches. thank you. with that, alessandra is gone.

do you know why you’re here? linda says.

so—okay. maybe you have been obsessively texting every single contact that you have within the caruso organization, every single night, trying to get any news you can about your carbon monoxide patients. maybe it’s not completely professional behavior. but they’ve all been ignoring you, and that’s hardly professional either, is it?

i assume the number of survivors has gone down from nineteen, you say. or maybe they all have crippling brain damage? you can punish me however you want, but i don’t know how i could’ve done a better job and none of this would’ve happened if jack just let me do a hospital dump. you try and fail to not look resentful. i guess he considers it a virtue to be tightfisted with merchandise.

linda eyes you like you’re somebody else’s misbehaving child. they’re not our merchandise, julie, they’re our customers. we provide services to people as well as goods. do you really want to know the details?

and there it is. you’ve never wanted to know the details. you’ve only ever wanted that one midnight hour of crisis in which the rest of the world falls away and your mind turns into a perfect beam of concentrated light.

to be fair, you’ve also wanted a place to live, and for them to not kill you and drop you in the fucking river. you’re not in a position to request much more.

no, you say. i just want to know if my patients are doing okay.

linda evades you with ease. you did very well, julie. that’s not what this is about.

she knocks twice on a little doily-covered side table. alessandra glides in through the doorway and sets the tray of food down on the coffee table in front of you. the sitting room smells richly of eggs and butter, but you’re not at all hungry. you should be fast asleep right now.

to your surprise, alessandra sits in the other armchair. no more babies, she says, serenely, in italian. you weren’t expecting her to say anything at all, so you barely catch it.

we would like you to administer an iud, says linda. and whatever fertility treatments you think might look convincing.

for fuck’s sake.

just so we’re on the same page, an iud would prevent any pregnancy, you say. a fertility treatment wouldn’t be able to overcome it. they’d be working at cross purposes, but essentially, the iud would win.

yes, says linda calmly.

you’d really rather be fired than get caught up in some intra-family intrigue that you have no business touching. you ought to be getting extra hazard pay for the psychological warfare of it all.

and this fertility treatment should be convincing to who? you say, after a second.

an eastern method would be best, says linda. maybe herbal.

okay, so that’s either old caruso or little caruso you’re trying to fool, or both. jack would never believe in an herbal treatment, he’d definitely demand pills.

uh-huh, you say, looking over at alessandra. she looks perfectly serene. it’s unnerving. permission to speak frankly? it’s annoying, how the old jargon still pops up in you at odd stressful moments.

of course, linda says.

there really is no polite way to ask the question, but if there was, it might sound like this.

activity has been lower than ever, even before little caruso went to the hospital. i don’t know why beth wasn’t available to help with the carbon monoxide thing, but that’s a bad sign, and i haven’t seen or heard from her since. the only sedatives they could scrounge up for me was some stuff meant for horses. the only good news we’ve had all year is that jack is out, and i haven’t heard shit from him, so he could be back in for all i know.

and now you’re pulling me into lies inside the family? you’re deceiving either your husband or your son, i don’t know which is worse. so when i ask you how bad it is, i would very much appreciate a truthful fucking response!

just how bad are things right now? you say. it takes a huge effort to refrain from cursing, but you layer in all your meaning in that one simple question.

linda’s blue eyes glint as she weighs her response, and then she says, things are going well, thank you for asking. there’s nothing else we need your help with. we’ll procure the iud and schedule an appropriate time for the procedure. are you able to procure the fertility treatment?

you hesitate, and her eyes bore into you like remorseless twin drills.

yes, you say, defeated. it’s gonna be looseleaf tea, the cheapest you can find.

do you have any more questions or concerns?

the fucking temerity of this woman. yes, actually. yes, at this point, you have become one gigantic, stress-filled ball of questions and concerns.

no, you say.

thank you for coming. the car is waiting outside.

in the car, you watch chicago passing by you, more brightly colorful and bustling than you’re used to, a different city.

the dread is slowing to a numb simmer, as dread tends to do over time. of course linda would claim that everything is fine, what did you expect her to say? oh, you’re right, julie. the business has been going downhill for months. and now you, my people, my family, and my would-be grandchild—we’re all well and truly fucked.

michael’s heartbeat is finally wearing itself out, depleting the last of its weapons grade chemical thunder. he’s pretending to be asleep, but there’s no lying to you like this. the body always tells. you’ve got one ear plastered to his sweat-damp chest, an unconventional but effective way to measure pulse.

you’re pretending to be asleep too, curled up and using him as a pillow, eternally seeking his warmth. he’s got his hands behind his head and his head half a mile down the street.

at last, his heartbeat has leveled out. that’s your job done. at times like these, you don’t feel like a woman. maybe you’re a weighted blanket, maybe you’re a pill.

he lifts your head gently in one hand, then crawls out from under you.

the bathroom door hinges creak. you hear a thin stream, a flush, and running water. his apartment is bigger than yours and only a couple floors up, but you’re not surprised that he chooses to use your bathroom over his. you get the sense that he avoids his own apartment as much as humanly possible, except to sleep.

it’s stupid hot in your apartment, because your landlord considerately roasts all her tenants alive rather than let them freeze to death. still, you move over so you can soak up the warmth he left behind in the mattress, and you place your head where his left an indent on the pillow.

you can hear his footsteps as he pads back towards the bed. probably left his phone behind, you think, and then the mattress dips under his weight, gravity trying to bring you together.

he’s warm against you, but no longer sweat-sticky. he must’ve toweled off in there. you’d like to turn over and worm your way into his arms, but that seems greedy, tacky, wrong. you can’t track if you’re still supposed to be asleep.

c’mere, he says.

you’re barely touching him, but it still seems like you can feel his voice, throaty and a little rough, like it’s coming from inside your own chest.

you turn over on your side, facing him, and lay your head down again just below his collarbone. this time, his hand descends on your hair and strokes in a slow rhythm, like how you would pet a beloved dog while thinking about the events of the day. this time, you don’t bother to close your eyes.

the watery light coming in through your curtains turns everything blue. his stomach, the sheets, the far wall. there’s a small, uneven tattoo of a black rose above his hip. he’s never explained it to you before, but to be fair, you can’t remember if you’ve ever asked about it either.

you’d like to ask him what’s wrong. people aren’t kind without reason. but you’re greedy still, and you take what you’re given without question.

it’s not so much the hand on your hair as it is the tenderness, it’s not so much the tenderness as it is the fact that he stayed.

you’ve always believed he loves the woman he’s with when he’s inside her. that’s easy. endearments fall from his mouth like rain and you soak them up as silently desperate as the desert and just as willing to blossom, presumably just like all the rest. he says them like he means it. baby like he’ll care for you, honey like he’ll lick every drop off his lips and consider himself lucky.

but he’s saying nothing now, he’s not fucking you now, he’s reached the end of his high, and still his hand moves tenderly over your hair. nobody caresses a pill or a blanket. you have proof.

proof of what, you won’t think too hard about. his fingers brush the skin at your temple with every stroke.

you falls asleep before he does.

it’s evening. you’re sitting in bed, still thrumming with caffeine and stress from linda, picking away at your last good memory with michael like it’s a scab, when you happen to look out the window and there he is. out of place in the light of dusk, with his hands shoved deep in his pockets. the last thing you expected and the first thing you wanted to see.

you’re out the door in a second. then, when you’re jabbing repeatedly at the elevator button, you realize you don’t have any shoes on. the deterrent isn’t the cold, it’s the knowledge that richie will roast you mercilessly, so you turn around and dart back inside your apartment and shove on your shoes.

the deja vu is so overwhelming, it prevents you from feeling any relief. this sudden righting of the world, this crash of of course everything’s fine, it was all in your head, you’ve played this tune before, and the thing is: it never lasts. you can't keep going up and down forever, it’s making you sick of yourself.

you grab your coat, your keys, and the note.

[ chapter six ] [ masterlist ]

note: this was meant to be combined with chapter six, but i had to split them because the final richie and reader scene got so long it turned into its own chapter. so i released both chapters on the same day <3

@garbinge, @narcolini, @drabbles-mc, @beingalive1, @eternallyvenus, @cerial-junkie, @jackierose902109 — if anyone else wants to be tagged, let me know.

#richie jerimovich x reader #richie jerimovich #the bear fx #the bear fanfiction #the bear fanfic #mine #readerfic #do i know you?#the bear imagine #diky

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alovesreading · 1 year

Text

Constant Repeat | Part 7

Summary: Having worked at Focus Creeps for a year, Ella knows that as a production assistant and part of the crew, there’s one important rule: don’t interact with the talent unless it’s needed. But once she meets Arctic Monkeys, and the recording of the music videos for their upcoming fourth studio album starts, the band seem to become her exception. Not only because they treat her more like a friend than just someone else they’re working with but when Alex continuously makes her blush with his flirting, so enthralled by her that he forgets he’s got a girlfriend, Ella finds herself growing closer to him. As videos are filmed, wrapped and edited, the friendship lines become blurry. Situations unfold, secrets are told and others are kept under lock and key, but how long can Alex and Ella endure being stuck in each other’s minds on constant repeat.

Word Count: 16.8k

Story Warnings: Throughout this series there will be suggestive talk, jealousy, cheating, alcohol and drug use, angst, smut.

A/N: Happy Friday my lovelies! This is probably one of my favorite chapters and you'll know why by the end of it. Seeing your reactions to this one is gonna be a wonderful birthday gift hahaha, so I'm very excited to see what you think of it!! Enjoy xx

Masterlist

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

It was the start of the second week of the year and Matt had just arrived in Los Angeles. Ella had picked Breana up early to go and pick him up from the airport, and she had acted like the couple's reunion hadn't made her tear up. She truly loved them both so much, even if they were a multiplied menace together.

The three went to have breakfast, with Julian joining them shortly after they had been seated. It was a cute little bakery that had some of the best pastries and coffee Ella had ever had, she went there so often that she was recognized by the staff.

"So how were the holidays?" Ella let her cup of tea rest on the table softly to give the drummer her whole attention, hoping to hear only wonderful things about the holiday season in his hometown.

Matt just shrugged, knowing it had been good but like usual, "Really good, nothing too interesting. Got to spend time with my mum and dad, the lads..." But he trailed off, remembering his grand discovery. "Well..." He started with bubbling excitement but when he realized Julian was there, and Ella was very much not single, he decided against telling her. It would only bring trouble. "No, yeah, nothing interesting."

Ella chuckled, sarcastically replying, "Don't sound so sure there."

"Sorry, I thought something worth telling had happened but it's nothing." It was something, but he just couldn't say it. It was a bad idea. "Hope you spoiled this one for me during the holidays." Matt was quick to change the subject, hugging his girlfriend into his side.

Ella smirked, "Surely, I did. I'm sure Julian got a bit jealous over how much time I was spending with her rather than with him."

"These two right?" Matt asked jokingly, with a facial expression that screamed 'can you believe them?'

Julian shook his head, "They're unbelievable."

"Don't go complaining much, most of the time we spend together is when we take those pictures you two love so much." Bre fought, raising her finger up in the air and pointing at both the men accusingly.

Matt lifted his hands up, "Right, right."

Ella wanted to taunt the drummer some more so she added, "Don't show him the pictures from the last session we had, make him beg for them."

"Jesus Christ," Matt scoffed playfully, "Does she always have you begging, mate?"

Ella turned her gaze to Julian, scowling at him. "You will not disclose that information."

"I won't," Julian agreed but then he turned to Matt and mouthed, "Sometimes."

Bre smirked and Matt laughed, Ella smacked Julian's hand which was resting on top of her thigh. The two boys were nothing but trouble.

The next seven days had been just like that, pure banter coming from the drummer, mainly targeted at Ella. He just couldn't hold himself back from teasing her, it was funny seeing her glaring at him all annoyed.

Ella had spent most of the days third wheeling for Bre and Matt, but she truly didn't mind. Julian had started the year with full force, work taking him away most of the week but she wouldn't complain, not when he enjoyed what he did so much and he still made sure to text her sweet things and updates about his whereabouts throughout the day. He had promised her to spend the weekends he had free with her and that's exactly what they had done the weekend before the rest of the band was due to arrive.

When Monday morning arrived, she was ecstatic to go back into the rhythm of things at the studio but much more excited to have her friends back. She was determined to start the year well, having fully let go of any grudges she had from her past with Alex and with her mind set on having things be the way they had been before, when they first had met.

She gave them all a tight hug when she had gotten to Rancho de la Luna.

"How's everything been?" Ella asked them all, and they all replied positively with smiles on their faces. They were brief at telling her how the holidays had been but it all sounded so nice, she was happy for them.

She'd smiled back at them and, once inside, they all rolled right back into the groove of things.

About three hours into the time they'd been there, James had gotten sent the final version of a song they'd done in their last week in LA. They had all agreed in wanting to hear it so James plugged his laptop to the audio system and played it.

The drums quickly drowned the room and then joined the bass which made the room vibrate, the guitar soon came after and Ella was already obsessed with the song.

She hadn't been prepared when Alex's sultry voice started singing, but hearing the first word be the name Arabella got her thinking about how this song was a love song for Arielle.

She cooed internally, thinking about how adorable Alex was for that.

When it got to the chorus, she'd gotten excited over hearing their own version of the 'War Pigs' guitar riff. She'd started beaming at the music she was listening to.

She was slightly confused about the first line of the second verse, feeling oddly personally addressed but it just had to be her brain trying to make shit about herself. She even ignored the fact that the chorus lyrics reminded her of when they were driving down San Diego's coast on the way to that restaurant they visited after Belmont Park.

But when the bridge started and it brought back those memories with each line, she couldn't help her smile faltering, falling down until it completely disappeared. She couldn't believe what she had just heard, her thoughts too scattered to even gush over the stunning guitar solo that was bouncing off the walls by the end.

Ella only snapped back to reality when the last chord of the guitar died inside the room and the lads started eagerly talking about the song and how it had ended up sounding. She was too stunned to speak, having trouble letting the words roll off her tongue when Jamie asked her if she'd liked it.

Forcing herself to smile, Ella nodded, "Oh, yeah, you absolutely killed that Black Sabbath guitar riff." Her gaze was swimming around the room but trying her hardest to keep it from falling on Alex's. "What's the name of this one?" She asked just to make sure.

"Arabella." Jamie replied with a soft grin and she could only nod.

She was so confused, her steps slow as she went back to the settee and focused again on replying to emails but as the minutes passed and the letters on the screen turned into one single blob of unreadable imagery, she decided she needed a breather.

She grabbed her cigarettes and lighter and exited the place. Her shaky legs were barely able to carry her up to where her bike was parked. She plopped down on it, sighing with her head still scrambled. What the fuck? The whiplash she'd gotten from that song was enough to make her want to take the day off.

So much for wanting things to go back to normal.

She sat there, with the sun keeping her warm despite the chilly winds of January, smoking until she felt better. It was on her third cigarette that she had tried to turn the situation around in her head—Maybe he just wrote it a long while ago, she convinced herself and the more she said it, the more it became more factual.

She nodded as she threw the dying bud and stepped on it—It will be the only one about me, he's happy and in love with Arielle.

That's the one thought she kept on loop as she walked back in, going to the kitchen and pouring herself a shot of the studio's brand of tequila. She fucking needed it.

Ella was startled when she left the shot glass with a thud on the kitchen counter and Matt had seen her swallow the gulp of alcohol, "Oi!" He'd exclaimed, "We starting the party early today?" The clock showed a pitiful 12:23pm which made her sigh heavily—it was gonna be such a long day for her.

"Be my guest." Her voice didn't sound inviting at all as she poured a shot for her friend.

Matt frowned at her, "Well if you're gonna be the one starting the party, you should come alive a bit. Damn."

"Piss off." She muttered, no energy left at all to deal with Matt's teasing.

He snorted, "You hated the song that much?"

She shook her head, "No. It was... it was good, just–" She started, but she had to bite her tongue not to spill it out to Matt. "When did you record that one? After I was gone?"

He downed the alcohol without much of a reaction to the taste, "Yeah, we made it pretty quickly actually. I think it might be one of the best and fastest songs we've done for this record so far."

Ella hummed, not knowing what to do with that information. She just turned to the sink to wash the glass and then followed Matt back to the recording room.

When she'd walked through the door, it was like no one had realized how much the song had affected her. Alex was sitting in a chair with a guitar in his hand, next to James and Nick who were also in their own chairs but in front of the massive mixing console.

Their backs were facing her, and she was grateful for that—she was sure her every thought was written all over her face.

She knew she wasn't brave enough to ask Alex about it, to confront him or get any reasoning from him, so she just decided to ignore the whole situation. She had wanted the whole recording period to go smoothly and drama free, but she now knew there was never gonna be a dull moment as long as she was around the band.

Taking a deep breath she reminded herself of her plan of action, just ignore it. And just like that she forced herself to resume sorting through emails, hearing Alex mumbling along a melody he was playing on the guitar.

Isn't it hard to make up your mind

When you're losing and your fuse is fireside?

She heard them celebrate at the sudden composition of the lines, encouraging Alex to go over it again and see if he could come up with anything else. His brain was going a thousand miles per hour, trying to find the perfect words to rhyme for the first part of the verse he was coming up with.

After a few tries he knew which configuration of lines he'd liked better, settling for:

I'm not sure if I should show you what I've found

Has it gone for good, or is it coming back around?

Isn't it hard to make up your mind

When you're losing and your fuse is fireside?

James nodded eagerly, "That's it. That's it mate." he patted Alex's shoulder proudly, "Sounds like a good chorus actually, we can make it one."

Alex and Nick nodded, having worked with James so many times before meant that the band trusted him fully to take out the full potential of whatever they'd come up with.

That's how that day, Ella had gotten back home humming the melody of the song. She dropped her bag on her sofa and ran to her room to call Breana.

She'd told her all about it, trying her hardest not to mess up the order of the lyrics she could remember and asked the model if she was overreacting, to which Bre firmly said no, agreeing that it was something she'd freak out over too.

Breana had helped her settle adding, "He's a musician though, honey, they all do that. Don't be surprised if there's another one there about you."

Ella groaned, "I rather not. I hope Arielle doesn't even notice about this one." She stayed quiet for a few seconds before she whined in dismay, "Why did he have to go and record a song about me when he has a fucking girlfriend?!"

Breana giggled on the other side, "'Cause he's a man, babe."

Ella sighed, "Fucks sake."

"He could've been more discreet though, don't you think?" Bre added, amused. "He literally has your name in the title of it."

Ella whined like she was in pain, "Why are you making it worse?"

A hard laugh was what she got as a response, "And there's also some of Arielle's name there but that's purely to fool everyone."

Ella rubbed her temples, tired. "I just hope they scrap it from the final record, they told me they had recorded some more songs in London back then along with 'R U Mine?' and 'Electricity' so I'm crossing my fingers they do the same for this one."

"Hopefully, yeah." Her best friend agreed, "Just, don't lose your mind about this okay? If there's any trouble with his girlfriend, it's all his fault."

"I will try my hardest. The worst part is that the song is good..." She was truly in dismay but then she heard the muffled sound of Breana's doorbell through the phone and she laughed, knowing exactly who that was meant to be, "Right, have a fun night hun."

Bre giggled, the sound filled with joy, "I will. Love you! Bye!"

"Love you too, bye!"

The line died, and Ella sighed. What had she done in her past life to deserve this? She was so stressed about the whole thing, she was close to start pulling her hair out.

But then her phone rang and when she saw it was her boyfriend, she felt like she could escape the situation for a bit. Hearing Julian's voice was a breath of fresh air, and him telling her he was coming over was like everything had lifted off her shoulders.

What would she do without him?

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Julian having four days free to spend with Ella was the cure to it all. The next few days at the studio had gone by like a breeze when she knew she would be coming back home to him.

But the day she'd come back home from the studio to kiss him goodbye, since he was leaving for a week to work in San Francisco, it had all gone to shit.

Every bit of calmness that Julian had given her after the 'Arabella' situation was thrown out the window when none other than Arielle called her in despair.

"Hi Arielle! How are you?" Ella had asked her in a chipper tone but her whole face fell when she heard the model sniffling on the other side of the call.

"Hi Ellie, not that well to be completely honest."

Ella was completely confused, she wasn't close enough to Arielle to receive a phone call from her during a low moment but that didn't mean she wasn't going to be kind to her and help in any way if she could. "I'm so sorry, is everything okay? Anything I can do for you?"

"I was wondering if you knew anything–" Arielle started but her voice broke and Ella's heart hurt for her, "I saw you were with the guys at the studio already," She remembered the picture she'd posted the day before of the lads just doing their thing, scattered around in the studio.

Ella had no idea what this all was about but what she didn't expect was the model suddenly asking, "How's Alex?"

Her frown got impossibly deeper after that, "Alex? What do you–"

"We broke up." Arielle was quick to say like the words were burning her tongue, "Well, he broke up with me."

Ella pouted to herself, feeling a wave of sadness for the model but the confusion was still very much there because Alex seemed so okay at the studio. "I'm so sorry to hear that, Arielle. I had no idea. I don't think anyone knows... No one mentioned a thing at the studio."

Arielle covered a sob with her hand, heart breaking a bit more at seeing that apparently he hadn't told a single person about it, Matt had texted her earlier asking her if she was joining them anytime soon and that had been a cruel reminder of what had happened, hence why she had decided to call Ella.

"Right." She replied defeated, "I had hoped he'd told you about it, just so I could get some answers."

"What do you mean?" Ella's confusion grew every time Arielle said something else.

"It's just– He broke up with me out of nowhere, Ella." The model took a deep shaky breath and continued, "Can I tell you something in confidence? It's gonna be TMI but I–"

Ella nodded despite knowing Arielle couldn't see her, "'Course you can, it's okay."

But Ella wasn't prepared for what she would get in return, "I'm so sorry, this is so TMI but I'm just baffled," She started again as if she was giving Ella the chance to take it back but at the silence, she sighed, "The night before, Ella, I swear we had the best sex we'd had in months. He fucked me dumb, telling me how gorgeous I was over and over. He called me darling! He's never used that for me before, I–. Fuck, I'm just going crazy trying to understand this."

Ella was shocked. Not only to have to be hearing this but she truly wouldn't have suspected a thing from Alex's behavior—and she was sure the lads didn't know either because only a few days ago Jamie had made a joke and teased him about the singer's girlfriend to which Alex only had replied with a short chuckle.

She decided to ignore the details Arielle had given her, which weren't many but the fact that Alex had called Arielle darling for the first time in that moment had Ella shifting in her place uncomfortably.

"Arielle, I'm so sorry. I genuinely had no idea, he seemed so normal." She sighed, biting on her thumb. "Jamie mentioned you a few days ago, to tease him and he didn't say a thing. He just laughed and kept doing whatever he was doing."

"It's okay Ellie, I guess I will always wonder what happened..." The model sounded so defeated but she continued telling Ella what had happened that last day, "The next morning he made me breakfast and everything, and in the middle of it he just said he couldn't keep our relationship going. Just like that." A curt chuckle came from Arielle, "He almost said that 'it's not you, it's me' bullshit."

Ella winced, "Oh fuck that..."

Arielle could only hum in agreement and then remembered her poor timing, "Sorry Ella, I probably just interrupted something."

"No, no. Was about to go to bed. Don't you worry Ari, truly." Ella consoled her, "We could go out this weekend? To drink and dance it all away? Julian just left for work and I'll be alone for a week, I'm sure Bre will be down for a girls night." Yes, Alex was her friend but Arielle was one as well so Ella wasn't choosing any sides and if there was anything she could do to help Arielle feel better then she'd do it.

Arielle smiled, silent tears rolling down her cheeks at Ella's kindness. "I would yeah, just send me a text and I'll go wherever."

"Sure. Now go dry those tears hun, he doesn't deserve them."

Arielle giggled, wiping her cheeks. "Thank you, Ellie. Have a goodnight."

"You too Arielle, can't wait to hug you soon. Goodnight."

Fucking hell.

Ella had no idea what the fuck had just happened but she'd decide to ignore it for as long as she could. She needed to relax.

So she rolled a joint, and started smoking out in her backyard. In between puffs, she decided to call Breana and quickly tell her everything, also make sure she was in on going out with Arielle two days from then.

Needless to say, retelling everything had left her even more confused and she ignored the silence on Breana's side when she mentioned his use of the pet name for Arielle. In the back of her mind, Ella knew just what her best friend was thinking but she didn't want to give that another thought.

The next day, Ella had been extra observant, her eyes on Alex at all times and by the end of the day, she was fully intrigued.

She'd bitten her tongue all day, waiting for the perfect moment to bring it up but when they were all leaving and she hadn't had a chance to talk to him alone, she basically baited him into staying a bit longer before they left.

Ella asked him for a cigarette, knowing damn well that would make him stay to have one with her. Two minutes had passed of them smoking as they watched the sun die on the horizon, when she gained the courage to ask.

"How's Arielle? Haven't seen her in a while." In her mind it made more sense to go straight to the point, like ripping a bandaid.

What she hadn't expected is for him to hide behind an inquiry of his own, "How's Julian?"

She chuckled quietly to herself, someone's defensive. "He went to San Francisco yesterday night, he's doing a weeklong shoot over there for some city event." And then she turned to him with an eyebrow raised, challenging him to respond to her question.

Alex barely looked at her then, he was afraid that if he told Ella about his new relationship status while looking her in the eye he might beg with them for her to have him.

"We broke up." His statement was simple, not heartfelt at all—it sounded more like he said it fast to get it over and done with.

"Oh," She muttered, trying to contort her face in the best way so he didn't notice she already knew.

But Alex didn't even turn to look at her, he kept his gaze straight ahead of him and took a long drag of his cigarette.

"I'm sorry." She added, hating the suffocating silence.

The singer only shrugged though, "It's okay, just wasn't right anymore."

Her hum was low and quiet, Ella had no idea what to say. "Are you okay?"

He offered her a half smile, "Yeah, why?"

"I don't know, you just seem so normal. Do the guys know?"

"No, don't tell them." Alex silently begged her, "Matt's gonna try and set me up with someone, or worse he's gonna force me to go out on the pull– I can't be arsed."

Ella giggled, fully convinced Matt would. She offered her pinky finger, and Alex locked it with his—the 'death ramps' ring on her skin once again. "Promise."

When she was done with her cigarette, she discarded it on the ground. They hugged each other goodbye and he watched her as she left on her bike.

He shook his head, now that she knew he had no idea what to do with himself. Especially not when he still felt her pinky finger intertwined with his and his skin craved her at all times.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Alex had seen Arielle's post that weekend, the three girls with tequila shots in hand and flipping the camera off.

He had no idea how that had happened, if it had been something planned before he'd told Ella about the breakup or if Ella had called Arielle and taken her out because of it. But he didn't care much, as long as they'd had fun then it would be fine by him—he thought it was kind of Ella and Bre to take Arielle out to distract her after everything.

Ella knew Alex had seen it, the look on his face was enough to know but she was glad to see he seemed completely fine about it. Maybe even happy, as the singer asked her subtly if she'd had fun, she nodded with a smile and added "Trying to power through the hangover though."

That day had been quite calm, the lads had focused on giving a few modifications to some of the songs they had been making and putting on a queue to finish later. Of course Ella was recording the whole process, she'd left the camera on the end of the table they were all sitting by so the angle had the camera catching perfectly what they were all doing.

They had gone back to 'Fireside', trying to make the verses work with the melody they'd been creating and she had been watching it all unfold from her usual place on the settee so she managed to catch Matt instantly when he went to disturb the footage she was getting.

"Oi! Matthew!" She called out after the drummer had stuck his face right in front of the lenses of the recording device, "Stop fucking with the footage."

Jamie had cackled loudly as he turned to point at Ella, "You've just said 'oi', you're officially spending too much time with us."

"Only because I'm getting paid for it." Ella joked with a straight face.

"Same here." added James, making Alex laugh beside him.

His chuckles were contagious, making the rest of the room erupt in laughter. Ella loved moments like these, it was just pure bliss for everyone around.

The hours were going by and the guys had reached the point where they had exhausted their brains too much over finding the perfect placements for the verses in the song, so they moved on to talking about random shit.

Ella had gotten a call from Julian in the middle of Matt telling his childhood antics and how he'd fake being ill to skip school, so she excused herself to go outside. It hadn't been a long call, just about ten minutes since it was all her boyfriend had gotten of free time while working.

When she'd gone back to the room, it was all a frenzy. They were arguing so loud, she grimaced at the change of volume compared to the crickets softly building up a choir outside as the night fell.

"What is going on?" She couldn't even make up what it was that they were talking about.

"Ella, how many instruments can you play?" Nick asked quickly.

The question was so sudden, she automatically let out a confused, "Huh?"

The bassist sighed, he wanted to prove a point, "How many instruments can you play?"

"None," She blushed as it was embarrassing to admit in a room full of musicians.

Matt turned fast to the bassist, "See! Told you."

Nick shook his head, "No, c'mon, you gotta at least know one. Even if it's simple."

The PA stayed quiet under their attentive stares, thinking about how she'd only really played one instrument consistently at a point in her life. "Xylophone." She mumbled to herself, somehow that was even more embarrassing to her than saying she didn't know how to play a single instrument.

"What?" Jamie asked since he was the closest to her and not even him had been able to hear correctly.

She raised her volume enough for them to hear her, "The damn xylophone."

Matt had laughed out loud, whereas the rest of the band had smiled amused at her. She rolled her eyes at their reactions, the only one she liked at the moment was James who was smiling at her understanding how annoying they could be.

Nick turned back to Matt and brought their argument back up, "See! At least one."

Matt refused to accept his defeat, "Not agreeing with you until she plays it. She can say she knows but she might not."

Ella sighed exasperated, "Why would I lie dumbass? That'd be even worse. If you find me a glockenspiel then I'll play it for you, dick."

Matt stood up and went to find the percussion instrument not before telling her, "You're on it." as he walked past her.

Five minutes later, she was sitting in front of a coffee table where the thirty note glockenspiel rested. She had two little wooden mallets, one on each hand, and she started getting nervous under the gaze of all the boys.

"I feel like I'm back on fucking eight grade about to perform for father's day, Jesus Christ."

Matt was ready to take the piss out of her so he encouraged her, "Go on then."

She'd rolled her eyes before thinking back to her last few years in middle school and how she'd been assigned band as extracurriculars. She'd chosen the xylophone because she really hadn't want much of a challenge, it was enough that she'd had to be in band to start with.

So Ella hit the first note and after that E note reached her ears, it was like memory had completely taken over. She played 'Für Elise' smoothly and when she was done she flipped Matt off, "Whatever it was, Nick won."

The drummer waved her off like one waves an annoying mosquito, "But everyone knows how to play that song in whichever instrument they know."

She didn't say anything back to him, just grabbed the mallets back up and with a C note she started playing 'Fly Me to the Moon' by Sinatra. Right after she'd finished with the chorus of it, she started playing 'Take On Me' by A-ha and just to shut him up she finished her repertoire with 'Bohemian Rhapsody' by Queen.

Ella remembered the endless days she'd practice that last song until she got it to perfection, her middle school self was really hard on herself—she still remained the same in that aspect.

Everyone but Matt started clapping making Ella blush, "Thank you, thank you." She took a small bow, "I cannot believe I still remember how to play those songs, haven't played since I started high school."

"Well she can actually play an instrument, so your argument is fucked Matt." Concluded Nick with a victorious smirk on his face.

The drummer rolled his eyes and proceeded to stand up, "Whatever, Ella might be able to but I stand my ground."

She was confused but, honestly, she didn't want to bring the whole thing back up so she decided to just stay with the curiosity. "Where'd you get this? So I can put it away." She asked Matt but before he could answer, Alex interrupted.

"Actually, can you help me?"

Ella set the mallets back on the table, "With what?"

"I feel like we should try and make a soft song," He looked for words to describe what he wanted to do, "Like a lullaby of sorts."

Ella slowly nodded, not so sure if she'd be much help but agreeing nonetheless, "Sure, yeah. Just... I never really composed anything so I'm gonna be hitting notes like a dickhead for a while until I manage to find a melody that sounds right."

Alex shrugged, "That's fine. Would you like to go to another room so you can do it in peace?" He subtly nodded towards Matt and Ella chuckled.

"Yes, please."

A few minutes later, Ella and Alex were settled in the keyboard room. She set the glockenspiel on the small table she was sitting in front of and Alex sat beside her with a Gibson J-45 on his lap.

She had no idea what to do first so she laughed embarrassed, hiding her face in her hands. "Alex what do I do?" Her giggles kept going as she felt her cheeks grow hot.

He laughed with her and started playing random chords to distract her, "Whatever you'd like, just go at it and when you play something you like try to write down the notes so you don't forget."

His journal was open then, in front of her with the pen he always used to write resting in the crease of the middle of the open book. The pages were blank and intimidating, she was so nervous for some reason and she didn't want to disappoint him so the pressure was even greater.

But after an hour, Ella found that making music with Alex was truly an easy smooth ride. He'd played different melodies, sometimes along with the random notes she was playing and when they'd fallen on a pattern that sounded beautiful, she gasped.

"No fucking way." She was truly blown away by the fact that she had been able to help in the making of something that sounded actually pretty.

He smiled proudly at her, "That was stunning. You remember the notes?"

She nodded eagerly, grabbing the pen with her right hand to start writing it down as she played it with her left hand slowly.

It was a tiny part, but it was a start and Alex seemed to really like it. Soon, Alex was playing away on the guitar like a door had been opened and the inspiration had just flooded out.

Alex raised his eyebrows expectantly when he was done with all he was coming up with, "That sound good?"

"Beautiful." She confirmed with a beaming grin on her face.

They went over it again and again, Ella timidly adding a few notes here and there which he always smiled and nodded to. She had a good sense of timing where to put them.

Ella listened to him attentively as he played the chorus again, "I think the bass coming on after the second chorus would lift it all up, maybe everyone could come in after it."

He had a thought, "Change it all, maybe to start a bridge..."

Ella nodded excitedly, that sounded great.

They went over it again, he was racking his brain trying to find anything that he wanted to sing about to such a slow-tempo song.

She'd seen times before how he mumbled as he played, trying to find the perfect words that fit the song, and how like that, slowly, the lines came to life.

On this occasion it wasn't different, the chorus being played by him over and over again as he formed sentences. He seemed to have settled for 'Mad sounds, in your ear. Make you get up and dance' and it sounded beautiful.

"What is it about?" She asked as he wrote the lyric in the journal, his handwriting contrasting against hers on the bottom of the page.

"Dunno yet." He stared at the words he'd just written, what did he want to write about?

"Sounds like the start of an ode to music."

His eyes went over the words again, seeing it in that light made sense. Maybe he'd try and make it go in that direction. "You're right, it does."

Ella smiled once again, feeling very much overjoyed at the new experience she'd just gone through. She was sad about the fact that she hadn't caught at least something on camera, having left it in the other room after the battery died earlier.

When they went back to where the rest of the band and James were, sipping on beer bottles as they chatted, her cheeks hurt from smiling. They showed them all what they'd come up with and Alex made sure they heard Ella's idea.

Matt had stood up and crushed Ella in a hug, "That sounds fucking lovely, welcome to the band Ellie." Her giggles filled the room as Matt squeezed her tighter and she tried to get away from him.

"Thanks but I'll leave that to y'all, I'm not a rockstar." Matt let go of her, and ruffled her hair just to annoy her. She shrieked as her hair came all over her face, she poked him in the ribs making him yelp so loud, it got a chesty laugh out of her.

Alex couldn't wipe the smile out of his face, nothing would. Not only had he gotten Ella to be part of this experience but she had enjoyed it, and seeing her genuinely happy was all he wanted. He'd have to get used to not having her with him in the way he wanted, as long as he had her as a friend then that'd have to be enough.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

The days had gone by fast—between songs getting written on and wiped off the whiteboard they had on the room now, demos getting sent and returned, Ross Orton joining James Ford in the production of some of the songs, days they'd stayed well past the time they had planned, spending weekends at different places of the city. The year was going incredibly well so far.

One afternoon of the very last week of January, they had found themselves rather bored and stuck. They had gone to a pub the night before and they'd been absolutely plastered before it was even two in the morning.

Ella vaguely remembered holding Breana's hair back as she heaved in the pub's bathroom from her attempt at taking consecutive shots of tequila.

So they were all wearing sunglasses indoors, the curtains were closed—but it wasn't doing much because they were pretty much see-through—, sitting in the worst positions on the settees.

"Shouldn't we have just taken the day off?" Jamie wondered with a groan, he had drank just enough but having to basically carry Nick out of the pub to the cab and out of the cab and to the hotel was what had exhausted him completely. "Not even James, nor Ross are coming today."

"It was already booked for us, mate." Replied Alex, his head thrown back and resting on the back of the settee.

Ella grimaced as she sat back straighter and reached for her bag, she smiled seeing the ziplock bag she'd brought with her. She didn't even know why she'd thought it would be the best idea to bring them to the studio but if there was a possibility of nursing their hangovers then she'd take it.

"Would these help?" She lifted the plastic bag in the air, it said 'sandwich bag' and it made her chuckle because inside there could be seen five thick spliffs waiting to be smoked.

No one really cared to see what it was. Ten in the morning was too early for them to want to be there, but when she moved the bag around in the air and opened it, the smell of weed hit them so suddenly that they instantly perked up.

Alex straightened up beside her, taking his sunglasses off and squinting to adjust to the light coming from outside. "What the fuck?"

Nick cleared his throat, "Didn't know you smoked."

"Don't be too surprised." She shrugged, getting her lighter and resting the ziplock bag on her lap, "University parties get you started quite easily..." She trailed off trying to figure out how it would work out, "Should we just pass it around or do each of you want your own?"

"Let's pass it around, so we can smoke for longer." Jamie said logically, he'd rather smoke slowly and throughout the day than finish the weed in fifteen minutes and then have to endure the day being sleepy and still hungover.

Ella lit up the first one, taking a long drag of it and relishing in the familiar feeling of the smoke in her throat. She let the smoke out and passed the spliff to Alex, who mirrored her actions.

By the time the second spliff was done, they were chatting about stupid things. They'd gotten hungry and seeing that it was past noon, they all settled in ordering McDonald's—there had been an overall consensus on how it was the best food to have while high.

They had basically smoked the whole day and when they had smoked the last two, consecutively, it was already nighttime. They were all outside stargazing, the blue of the night so piercing that the spheres of plasma contrasted brightly against it and let their presence known to anyone who could catch it.

For some reason she had started going on and on about everything she knew about galaxies, space and celestial objects. Surprisingly, the lads encouraged her to keep going which ended up in all of them agreeing on how, as kids, they thought that by 2013 they'd be driving flying cars and being able to buy lightsabers at the shops—even admitting that they'd thought time traveling would've been a thing already.

That's how they had ended up back in the recording room, completely determined on how they had to make a song about it all. She'd sat beside Alex, reading the things they'd all come up with and nodding like it was the best line ever written. Jamie was playing the guitar and Nick his bass, Matt patting his thighs as he analyzed what his friends were composing.

She wasn't sure what had happened afterwards as she woke up and found herself sleeping on the biggest settee of their usual recording room. Alex was sleeping on the one adjacent and Matt was snoring away on the floor, with a cushion under his head.

Her groan made the two men stir in their slumber. She grabbed her phone that was thrown in a corner of the room and saw that it was five in the morning. Her back was killing her, why the fuck hadn't we just taken a cab home? she wondered as she walked out to the bathroom.

From afar she saw Jamie sleeping peacefully on the settee in the keyboards room and Nick sleeping on the one by the kitchen.

She was grateful she had been way too hungover to actually do her makeup the day before so the smudge of her mascara was very minimal and she got rid of it easily by washing her face.

Once she was done, she went to the kitchen to make some coffee for everyone. She was drinking a glass of water when Nick's voice startled her.

"Good morning, why the fuck did we sleep here?" Since he'd just woken up, his voice was so much deeper than usual and it actually surprised her.

"I have no idea, I don't even remember at what time we fell asleep."

Nick sighed, rubbing his eyes and stood up slowly. "What time is it?"

"Like five twenty" She cringed, it was still dark out but the birds could be heard singing softly.

The bassist cussed and left to use the toilet. She poured herself and Nick a cup of coffee, it was piping hot as it had just been made in the coffee maker the studio had.

It took about half an hour for everyone to wake up, Matt being the last and the one who complained the most.

"Why would yous let me sleep on the fucking floor?" He said through his teeth, making an appearance in the kitchen.

Jamie scoffed, "I tried to get you on one of the settees but you ran back to the main room saying you had to add something to the song."

Ella remembered then that they had all made a song, "Oh my god... We made a song, didn't we?" They all nodded, sipping on their coffees. "Fuck, I don't even know if I wanna listen to it."

But as soon as they finished with their drinks and they had washed and dried it all, they went to the recording room to hear the demo. The bass was prominent in it, and the guitars complimented it perfectly. Alex's voice was slurred and it made them all laugh, but they quieted down at the guitar solo by the end of the recording.

"The guitars are fucking sick in this one." Ella said in appreciation, she was not expecting something actually that good when they had all been in the worst state.

Nick agreed, looping it back to hear the guitar solo once more. "Has b-side potential, to be fair."

They played it once more, hearing the lyrics more closely this time.

It's two thousand and thirteen all across the galaxy

It's two thousand and thirteen

So, baby, take a walk with me

Past flying cars and time machines

There's magic like you won't believe

Ella let the song reach its end to comment, "We are aware that the galaxy is far older, right? Like..." She paused to clear her dry throat, "It was only Jesus who was supposedly born two thousand and thirteen years ago, not the galaxy..."

Matt let out a loud sigh, "Ellie, we're not high anymore so stop nerding out."

"That's just common knowledge–" She argued.

"Ella." He replied sternly.

"Matthew J Helders the third," She said back in the same tone. "Shut. Up."

"Yes Matt, fuck off." Nick sided with Ella and Jamie repeated the same phrase to support the motion.

The drummer scoffed, "Why am I being bullied right now?"

"Because you deserve it." Alex replied this time.

Matt frowned, "I do not."

"I still remember you slandering Bre's favorite Fleetwood Mac record so if you want to keep your stunning girlfriend then shut up."

That had been the only reason why Matt stood quiet for a good ten seconds, and then he told her. "I can't stand you."

Ella gave him a cynical smile, "The feeling is mutual."

Jamie cackled at them, "You two are like fucking siblings arguing, I swear."

Before they could continue bickering though, they heard the front door being opened and closed and by the time they went out to see who it was, they were greeted by the sight of David coming in.

"Good morning everyone," Dave greeted with a smile on his face. "Was coming to check on you, how are you feeling? Slept well?"

Alex nodded, "Yeah mate, thanks very much."

"I tried to get you all a ride home but you all agreed on staying so..." The bearded man added and they all nodded.

"Thank you for letting us stay, man." Matt patted his back in gratitude. "We're just gonna go pick everything up and then we'll leave."

They didn't have the studio booked for the next few days so they gathered all of their stuff up and tidied the rest of the things they had used. They left the place as the sun rose up, Ella waved them off as she took the opposite direction to where they were going. Alex saw the sun hitting the little mirrorball hanging from her rearview mirror, making the light reflect all over the inside of her car.

"Love you guys! Bye!" She yelled out her rolled down window, disappearing into the highway.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

Things had been going normal. After those three days they'd had in a sense of a small break, they had gone back to the studio with fresh ideas and the energy buzzed in the room whenever they were all together.

Ella had been more and more invested in the whole process, sometimes asking each of the guys what different things did or how they managed to get an instrument to sound the way it did in their demos. James had gotten used to having Ella beside him in the days Ross wasn't at the studio.

She was usually there first, smoking away as she waited for them, greeting whoever arrived first with a lovely smile and her arms open and ready for a hug.

That's why at the start of the second week of February, Alex had been incredibly confused at not seeing her already there when he got to Rancho de la Luna at eight in the morning.

He greeted David, asking him if Ella was already inside and when he shook his head, the singer's confusion grew. Maybe she'll be late today, he'd told himself so he didn't worry but just in case, he'd left her a text.

(11/02/2013 08:13) Hi Ellie, good morning. Around what time are you coming today? Was surprised to not see you when I got here xx

Slowly, everyone started coming in and when James got to the studio at around ten in the morning, that's when Alex started worrying even more. They hadn't seen her as she usually didn't go to the studio on the weekends like them, where is she? She wasn't one to just miss a work day or be late and not say anything.

Around noon, Matt had gotten a call from Breana—who was currently out in New York for a modeling gig—and Alex would've teased him about how they truly couldn't live without the other if it wasn't for Matt's worried facial expression.

The call was rather quick and all of his replies were meek, it was strange for him to talk like that with Bre so he started to wonder if they had fought or something, but then Matt had told her "Alright, I love you" with a loopy grin on his face before he hung up that had Alex discarding the thought.

Everyone was looking at him expectantly because the call seemed to have had a negative effect on his mood and they wanted to know if everything was alright.

Matt sighed, "Ellie's not gonna make it today, maybe not even the rest of the week." Alex's heart sank at the thought of something having happened to her that could keep her from going to the studio. "She's not feeling very well apparently."

Alex felt his whole body grow cold and it was an instant reaction for him to pick up his phone and leave the room to call her.

He dialed her number over and over for about ten times but none were answered, so he went back to texting her in hopes that it was just that she was ill and had fallen asleep.

(11/02/2013 12:06) Ellie, is everything okay? Bre's just called saying you weren't feeling good and that you'll be missing the next few days here. Just let me know when you see this that you're fine xx

(11/02/2013 12:07) Did you catch a cold? I'll come over with some soup for you, I promise I make the best chicken noodle soup (either it is good or my mum lied) xx

(11/02/2013 12:08) You're probably asleep and I'm being an absolute knob making your phone ring over and over. I'll stop now but just let me know what's going on. Sending you loads of hugs xxxx

The more Alex stared at the clock, the slower time went by. He was too distracted to care about what was going on in the recording room, everyone having to bring him back to reality every five minutes.

By the time it was one thirty in the afternoon, he hadn't been able to take it any longer so he excused himself and ran outside to call Breana. He didn't even care if he'd be interrupting her photoshoot by calling her over and over, he had to know if Ella was okay.

When he rang her for the fifth time, he got his call answered. "Jesus Christ, Alex, is everything alright?"

He was so relieved the model finally picked up, "Yes. Everything's good. Just... Ella. What happened to Ella? Is she okay?"

Breana felt silent, only the shutter of the camera and the clicking of heels on the floor was heard for a few seconds, "Erm, yes. She's just not feeling well."

"Did she get ill? I've been trying to call her and she won't answer." His voice was laced with worry and that wasn't missed by Bre.

Silence again, "Yes..." Bre replied but it sounded like a question and that's when Alex knew she was full of shit.

"Bre, what happened? Is she okay?" His voice got firmer, he didn't understand why she'd be keeping quiet about anything happening to her best friend.

She sighed, "Alex, she's not feeling well and that's all that I can tell you. I promised her I wouldn't say anything else."

"So something did happen," The singer insisted, "Bre, at least let me know her address so I can go check up on her."

"Alex–" The model started in protest but he was quick to interrupt her.

"Bre, you're far away and not coming back until next week. At least let me be the one to check up on her. I just wanna know if she's okay." He heard her sigh and when the line stood silent he continued, "I don't care if she's just ill and you probably think I'm overreacting, I'd rather do that and find out she's okay than brush it off and find out afterwards that something worst has happened and she's been alone."

"Fucking hell, Alex," Breana cursed, giving into his point. "I'll send you it in a text, but just... let me know how she's doing when you get there okay? And hug her tightly for me, please."

He felt like he could finally breathe, "'Course. Cheers, Bre."

It was only seconds after hanging up that Breana sent him Ella's address through text. His hands were sweaty as he went back inside and told the lads he'd be leaving for the day. He didn't even give them time to ask why, because he was out the door as soon as he'd finished his sentence.

Ella's home was only an hour away from the studio but traffic had held him back forty minutes, he'd been fidgeting in his seat all the way to her medium sized one floor house which was painted a gorgeous light green color.

Alex was quick to park his rental-car on her driveway which only had her car present, he figured she had her bike inside her garage. Without missing a beat, he got out of the car and with long fast strides reached her white door and knocked on it.

A long minute went by and no one was opening the door, he knocked harder and rang the doorbell before knocking furiously again. He heard shuffling behind the door and he was relieved but when the door opened, he felt every bit of worry fall over him like a ton of bricks.

Ella was still in her pajamas—a big gray shirt almost covering her red flannel shorts—, her eyes were puffy and just as red as her nose, her hair was a mess in tangles on a bun atop of her head and she had a glass half full on her right hand.

The last person she'd expected was the singer to be standing outside her door, "Alex, what are you doing here?" She was so tired of everything, she just wanted to be alone and wallowing in self pity not having to worry about how she looked and how she was dealing with the shit show that had just unfolded in her life.

"Hey Ellie," His voice was so soft, she was surprised at how just hearing him had felt like a hug. "Are you okay?" He asked, very much worried but not really knowing what to do.

"How did you even find my address? Did Ben or Aaron give you it, I'll kill them." She ranted, on the brink of exploding in anger. Her emotions were a mess, she was a mess, she had no idea what the fuck to do anymore. Nothing made sense to her anymore.

"No, no, I had to beg Bre for it, but what's wrong?" He wanted to know why she looked so broken or, if anything, he just wanted to comfort her. "What are you even drinking?" He took a step towards her and into her house and she stepped back but with the sigh she'd let out, the alcohol in her breath hit him. "Ellie, it's only three in the afternoon."

She laughed, without a hint of humor, "Alex, I truly rather be drunk right now. I do not fucking care what time it is."

He shook his head, watching her leave so he closed the door behind him and followed her steps. "No, absolutely not." He stated and tried to get the glass from her.

"Yes Alex," She downed what was left on the glass before he could get to her, wincing at the whiskey burning her throat. "I've run out of cigarettes, have no weed, I look too crazy to even bother going out to get shit and all I have is whiskey and a few bottles of wine." She used her fingers to count all the misfortunes that had come after the blow she'd taken the night before.

She turned to the whiskey bottle and poured herself another glass, way too full, but it was what she needed. She took a gulp of it and whispered a curse after it struggled to go down her throat.

"Ella, you're gonna have to stop right now." His words were firm, he was trying to be patient but he didn't want her drinking her problems away.

She rolled her eyes, setting the glass down harshly so the alcohol splashed around it. "Alex– I truly don't need you to be logical right now." She took a deep shaky breath and continued, "Just leave okay? You've seen I'm alive. I'm just not feeling good so just go, you have shit to do much more important than me and my fucking mess of a life." The way her voice broke saying that last sentence had him frowning deeper, he wanted to do something, anything to stop feeling the hurt she clearly was was feeling.

"What's wrong, darling? Talk to me." Alex hadn't called her that in a long time, not after he'd caught his mistake in doing that after that call at the Olympics opening ceremony, but he just couldn't help it. He'd tried to reach for her hand but she'd flinched away at the pet name.

It had made her wince, thinking back to what Arielle had told her the month prior about how Alex had called her that as he'd fucked her dumb. She felt so fucking pathetic, so far from special. Am I the problem? She had wondered that all night, as she cried herself to sleep.

She was tired of crying but she couldn't stop it. She was tired of people making her cry, making her believe that she wasn't worthy of anything.

She slowly turned around, sighing heavily before admitting, "He fucking cheated, Al."

Alex felt a blow to his chest, "What?"

Ella's tears cascaded down automatically, breaking his heart in a million little pieces for her. "He's fucking cheated on me, I–" She started but she had to stop as a sob ripped through her. "And you wanna know how I found out? Because his parents caught him in a lie. He told them he'd be going out on dinner with me and when they went to surprise us, they found him with someone else." Her voice raised as she narrated everything, fury in her eyes and the heartbreak making her tremble.

"He fucking admitted to it to them, how he's been seeing this girl for over a month, but when they told him he had to tell me the truth, he fucking refused." A loud scoff came from her, "His mom has had to fucking call me and tell me because this fucking cunt didn't have the balls to say it." She was so baffled, sobbing in disbelief.

Why does it always happen to me? She'd asked herself so many times, she had given up on an answer.

She sniffled, wiping her nose, "So now I've had to break up with him over the fucking phone because I know I wouldn't have been able to do it in person."

Alex walked slowly to get closer to her, not wanting to startle her. "Ellie I'm–" His words were cut by Ella's words of desperation.

"I fucking wanted to marry him Alex! I thought he was it for me!" Pure agony was what was filling every inch of her body and soul. "We had started trying for a baby." She broke down in loud sobs that made her hiccup as she tried to get oxygen back in her lungs.

Alex had no idea what to say to that, he wanted to do nothing more than to murder Julian after torturing him in the most sadistic ways. But she was his priority, making her feel better was what he had to do. He was quick to envelope her in a tight hug, she cried harder hidden in his chest as she fisted his maroon shirt.

Her tears bleed through his shirt and it felt like her heartache was burning his skin. "I just want this hurt gone, I feel like my chest is caving in, Al. I want it gone. Please." Ella begged and her body trembled in his arms. In that moment, all he could think was how he'd do anything to be able to take away the pain from her—he'd carry all of her burdens if it meant she'd be eternally happy, like she deserved.

His left hand was rubbing up and down her back, his right hand holding her head to his chest. He softly shushed her trying to calm her down in the slightest, he had never been good at consoling crying women, but for Ella he'd try and excel at anything she needed from him. "It's gonna be alright Ellie, I promise. You are gonna be okay."

Alex had her walk to the settee with him, she just let him guide her as her cries did nothing but increase.

Pathetic, pitiful, worthless, meaningless, replaceable.

That's all she felt about herself and she hated it, with a deep burning passion.

Alex sat down with her and she scooted onto his side, needing the warmth of his touch around her. She needed someone even if she didn't want to admit it and Alex was determined on keeping his hold on her for as long as she wanted it to.

His fingers started scratching her head, making her relax in her arms. Her sobs started to quiet down after five minutes and her breath slowed down.

"I'm here okay? I'm not leaving." He assured her, looking down at her still shielding on his chest.

She nodded, and she whined softly at the waves of memories coming back to her trying to push her back into a breakdown.

It had been like that since she'd gotten the phone call the night before, she would cry for hours and eventually calm down finding some sleep which was interrupted by the situation being reflected in her dreams, making her start sobbing all over again. She'd only gotten a total of three hours of sleep the night before.

A thought flashed through her head, making her break the hug as her skin crawled in disgust for herself. "I hate this so much," She muttered, recoiling to the corner of the settee, the furthest she could from Alex. "I'm gonna have to go and get tested now, not only for pregnancy but for everything else 'cause I don't even know who he's been fucking. I feel so disgusting."

The singer scooted closer to her, rubbing her arms which were hugging her folded legs closely to her chest.

"He's an absolute prick. I'm so sorry, Ellie. I really truly am." His honesty was so clear but she couldn't take it.

She started crying again, shaking her head. "You have nothing to apologize for. He should be."

That made Alex scowl, "Did he not?"

Ella chuckled entirely unamused at the memory of her phone call to him that had happened earlier that day. "He did, over and over but it just made me sick. He said it so many times it started sounding weird. He didn't mean it at all. He's only sorry for himself, that he got caught."

"I want to kill him." Alex said simply.

Her face contorted in pity for herself, because she still felt how much she loved him. "I want this to be a sick and twisted joke." Her chin wobbled, and he knew exactly what it meant.

Of course she still loved him. That's the type of person she was, always a giver. And she never half assed anything so when she loved, she loved in the very best way: passionately and endlessly. He knew that from the way she talked about her family, her friends, her hobbies, her job.

She threw herself in his arms again and sobbed away, none of them noticing how she was basically straddling his lap and how her breasts were pressed against his chest. Her face was buried on his neck and his arms wrapped around her again, the same way they had been doing before. He could feel the erratic thumping of her heart on the other side of his.

It had been an hour that it had taken Ella to exhaust herself to sleep. When her breathing slowed down and he heard one of her soft snores in his ear, he felt relief flooding his system. He knew then that hated seeing her cry, he hated seeing her in despair, sleep deprived—her dark circles were prominent when she'd opened the door and the sunlight hit her face—, relying on alcohol to drown her sorrows.

She deserved so much better.

He stood up from the sofa with her still in his arms, slowly to not wake her up but not even if he had been more careless could she have startled awake. She was in a deep sleep, having found comfort after long hours of misery.

He set her down on her bed, which was still unmade but not that messy which confirmed to him that she hadn't slept well at all the previous night. The covers were soon over her and all the way up to her chin, she'd let out a sound of satisfaction as she snuggled her pillows.

Alex decided to kick his shoes off and sit beside her, watching her peacefully sleep. Sometimes she'd flinch and start crying, hot tears falling from her closed eyes and wetting the pillow under her head. He'd rub her back, whispering 'you're okay, you're okay' until she settled back down, but it hurt him having to see her like that in the first place.

He felt so helpless.

After about three hours, seeing that she was in deep slumber, he thought it would be good for him to get some food. She had definitely not eaten at all that day so she'd be hungry when she woke up. He slowly put his shoes on and exited her house, grabbing her house keys and writing a little note before leaving.

Alex let himself smile fondly at the Tennessee keychain she had, a little silver cowboy boot it was and it reminded him of her mirrorball.

He had seen a few restaurants about ten minutes from her house so he settled for proximity rather than finding a restaurant he knew was good. The thing he least wanted was for her to wake up and see him gone, even if he had left a note.

The singer had decided to get some films from the redbox rental her neighborhood Walgreens had, wanting her to get distracted and enjoy herself for a little.

Despite him rushing to get back as soon as possible, and getting annoyed at himself for taking much longer than anticipated, when he got back she was still asleep. But it was eight in the evening then, so he had to wake her up to have her eat.

He dropped everything he'd gotten slowly on her kitchen counter and he walked carefully into her room. The bed dipping beside her had her stirring, so he felt less bad when he started brushing her hair back and softly whispered her name to have her wake up.

She'd hummed in response to hearing her name being called and he grinned at her pout, she was so effortlessly breathtaking—it was beyond his understanding.

"C'mon darling, I brought you some food." He finally said and she mumbled gibberish in response, "There's ice cream too and some films."

Her eyes slowly peeled open, her pout was replaced by a frown because she didn't remember much of how the hell Alex had ended up in her house.

Regardless, she rubbed her eyes awake and yawned. Slowly but surely she got up and threaded to the bathroom to freshen up, Alex told her he'd be serving their food in the kitchen and to join him when she was ready.

Twenty minutes later, she was out of the bathroom. Freshly showered, with her hair damp and wetting the back of her shirt. She'd changed her pjs for a 'Queens of the Stone Age' big shirt and some joggers.

Alex wanted to coo, seeing her hugging herself as she walked to the living room where he had set everything up. Italian food—her favorite—, a few bottles of Mexican coke he'd found in a bodega next to Walgreens, and 'Sherlock Holmes' ready to play on her TV.

Ella felt a knot tightening up in her throat, she was sure what she'd needed was to be miserable by herself until she'd cried all of her tears but seeing him there, sitting in her living room after having brought her food and shit that would make her feel better with the sweetest smile on his face, reminded her that she needed someone to help her during tough times.

Her pout grew on her face, and Alex was quick to stop her from getting herself worked out over nothing. "Hey, Ellie. It's okay, c'mere." She nodded and walked towards him, tears slowly filling her eyes and threatening to spill. He turned to her once she was sitting beside him and brushed his thumbs on the apples of her cheeks, "Don't cry okay? Let's watch a film and eat well so we can have a good sleep tonight, yeah?"

A tear slipped down and he was quick to wipe it, he pressed a kiss on her forehead to then turn and grab her plate for her. "Here," He handed her the plate, "Spinach ravioli bolognese, your favorite."

A pathetic little chuckle fell from her lips as she received the dish, it indeed was her favorite. "Oh, you remember."

He watched her as she placed the plate on her lap, sitting straight next to him. "Of course I do. I remember loads of things," But it wasn't about that in this situation, so he got her excited for the movie. "Have you seen this one? People say it's great."

Ella had been sure she wasn't hungry but at the smell of her favorite food reaching her nose, her stomach growled. She blushed, shaking her head at Alex's question, "I haven't, no."

Alex smiled at her, and pressed play but as the opening credits rolled, he pushed her softly to start eating. "I wanna know if you like it, try a little bit."

"Well, how different can it be from any other place? I'm sure it's good." Ella replied as she stirred some of the sauce around with her fork.

"Just a bite," He negotiated, "For me?"

The pout on his face seemed to twist her arm, she gave him a tight lip smile before she shoved a bite into her mouth. Her smile got bigger then, as she savored the food. "It's really good," He smiled, pleased to see that she liked it. "Thank you, Al."

He nodded before grabbing his own plate and they both ate slowly as the film played. It had gotten her giggling and quietly gasping at different moments, which made his heart swell inside of him. When the end credits rolled, he asked her if she'd liked it to which she gave him an excited nod of her head. She was smiling, small grins, but it was what he wanted to get from her.

Alex took the dishes to wash them and Ella followed after him with the empty coke bottles and complained about him doing the dishes in her house. He just stared at her right in the eyes as he quickly washed what they'd used and his smirk got bigger the more she complained.

"You're annoying." Ella simply stated when he was done.

Alex chuckled and walked over to her fridge, "Would some ice cream help you forgive me for being annoying?"

"Maybe..."

She took out two small bowls and two spoons, pointing him to where she had her ice cream scooper and thanked him when he filled her bowl with three big servings of the sweet dessert.

They went back to her living room, to play the next one. He'd changed the discs quickly in her DVD player and played the new movie in record time, "I've actually seen this one already, pretty good. You'll like it."

She saw Ryan Gosling on the cover of the DVD case and nodded, "Give me anything Ryan Gosling and I'll love it."

He laughed, and nodded, "Brilliant." and turned to watch the screen just as 'Drive' showed on the screen.

About thirty minutes into the movie, Alex's phone started going off so he excused himself to go outside and pick it up.

It was Breana, who had been texting him over and over because he hadn't given her an update on Ella like he'd promised. He cursed under his breath and closed the door behind him. He'd told Ella to keep watching but she was honestly just trying to please him by watching it with him. She'd been lost in her thoughts all through the start of it, seeing the main characters subtly flirt with one another had made her tragedies catch up to her again and made her silently crumble.

She'd left two of her windows open since the morning, when she'd been smoking her sorrows away until she ran out, so she could hear what Alex was saying.

"Hi, I'm so sorry," She knew he'd lit up a cigarette because she could smell the burning tobacco making its way inside her house. "Got caught up with everything and forgot about my phone." She heard nothing but silence for a few seconds until he started debriefing, "She's okay. I had her sleep for a few hours and got her food, we've been eating and watching some films." She was so confused as to who he was talking to but then he mentioned a name that had her in the brink of tears again. "Bre, I–. Yes, she was crying a lot but she's stopped for now." She wanted nothing more than for her best friend to be there but, alas, Ella's life seemed to be highlighted by always having the worst timing. "If she lets me then yes, I don't want her to be alone while she's going through this. Much less if there's a slight possibility of that cunt coming to bother her."

It didn't sound like jealousy in his voice, just plain anger at what Julian had done to her and in that moment she realized that maybe Alex and her were meant to be friends. Despite the direction things had taken when they'd first met, maybe they were meant to have a strong friendship so they could be there for each other, have each other's backs.

Ella realized how good it felt to have him there with her, because he understood her in a way that only a few people did and he made her feel calm. She needed that.

His voice could be heard further away as she went to her kitchen after pausing the movie and saw the other things that Alex had bought for her: two little bags of gummies, a dark chocolate bar, another Mexican coke, and a pack of Marlboro reds.

He was a life saver, truly.

She opened the pack and grabbed a cigarette, placed it on her mouth and, after closing her windows down, she joined him outside.

He'd gotten scared by the sudden movement at the door behind him, she laughed as she came to stand beside him and he lit her cigarette up at her silent question for it.

"Thank you." She muttered and he smiled in response.

Alex nodded and hummed at whatever Breana was saying, "Yes, Bre, I know and I won't. You have my word." A cloud of smoke left his lips when he chuckled, "I'll text you later, bye."

Ella watched through the corner of her eye as he hung up and placed his phone in the back pocket of his jeans.

"Thought I told you to keep watching without me." His gaze came over her, watching her relish in the bad habit they both had.

"You did, but I needed a breather." Ella admitted.

Alex nodded and they both fell to their tangled thoughts. She was lost trying to find answers to the one question echoing the most in her head, why? And he was stuck thinking about what he could do to switch her hurt for brief moments of joy.

"Are you feeling better?"

It took her a minute to answer, her eyes lost in the sky and the sight of the moon. So beautiful and unbothered, shining over every single person on Earth so effortlessly.

"It's a weird thing, honestly. I feel just... numb. Like I'm in shock and don't even know if what's happened is real but then I suddenly feel it all coming over me like I'm getting swallowed by fire and I'm burning alive, but somehow the emptiness I feel in my chest overpowers it all." Word vomit, that's what it had been and she shook her head at herself. "I'm talking out of my ass, aren't I?" Pathetic.

But when Alex instantly shook his head, she felt relieved. "No, you're not. He deserves hell, Ellie, not you. And he surely doesn't deserve your tears or your heartache." He threw the last of his cigarette on the floor and took two steps to be right beside her. He threw his arm around her shoulders and let it fall until he could hug her tightly to his side.

She let her head fall on his shoulder, "I've begged for hours that this is a nightmare but I've pinched myself enough times to know I'm unfortunately awake."

"I'm sorry, Ellie." He kissed the top of her head, and then rested his cheek on it. "But I know you, and I know you're gonna be okay. The shadow of his actions that's following you right now will wither away in time, but it will haunt him till the end of his days."

Tears had started falling again but this time in frustration when she explained, "I hate that my brain wants him to suffer but my heart is begging to spare him some mercy."

"Your heart will catch up, just be patient with it."

He was so good at just saying things like that, it blew her away really. "God, you're so poetic. No wonder you ended up a musician." She felt his chest tremble as he laughed, the cold breeze was a nice contrast to the warmth she felt by being held by Alex. "Thank you, by the way."

That had him lifting his head to look down at her, "What for?"

Ella was still pressed to his side but she tilted her head back slightly to look up at him. "The food, the movies, the candy, the cigarettes, letting me ruin your shirt with my tears, letting me ruin your day with my tragedies, begging Bre for my address, spending the day with me..." She was glad he was there, she was glad to have him. "You're a true friend, Alex Turner."

It hurt, 'friend', but he promised himself that that'd have to be enough for him so it would. He gave her the sweetest smile, "No need to thank me darling, I will always be here for you. No matter what." And he meant that—even if he was on the other side of the world, he was determined to always be there for her. "And you didn't ruin my day, if anything you saved me from Matt being insufferable since Bre is in New York."

She giggled, wiping her tears with her right hand. "Ugh, yeah. He must be unbearable."

Ella decided she was done with her cigarette, so she flicked it and watched it die in the ground of her driveway a couple of feet from her and Alex. She brought her arm to circle around Alex's waist and squeezed him softly, "Let's go back inside."

Alex nodded and dropped his arm from around her, Ella started walking ahead of him back to the front door but stopped in her steps when Alex spun her around by her wrist and crushed her in a hug.

"That one's from Bre," The singer said in her ear, "Forgot to deliver it until now, sorry."

She melted in laughter in his hold. He was such an idiot and she was so damn grateful he'd pestered Bre into giving him her address because she truly didn't know what it would've been of her if she'd spent the day completely alone.

They went back inside and finished the film, which ended up being really good and she'd be sure it would be one she'd watch more times in the future. It wasn't too late, barely midnight but she was falling asleep slowly, the exhaustion catching up to her.

Her yawn made him turn to her, he was gonna have her go to bed and then leave but she offered him to stay before she could even stand up from the settee.

Alex accepted, of course. If Ella hadn't offered, he knew he'd go back to the hotel and then be at her door in the morning to make sure she was alright.

She showed him the guest room and reminded him of where the bathroom was. She'd offered him clothes for him to sleep in but he kindly turned them down as he was fine just sleeping in his underwear.

He had managed to get some sleep for a few hours when he was suddenly woken up by her sobs at three in the morning. He wasn't sure what the noise was at first, too sleep drunk to grasp any logic but when he realized it was her crying, his heart broke.

Alex debated within himself if it would be good to just go and get her to calm down or if he should just let her cry it out but when he heard silence and then another heart ripping sob, he got up and walked to her room.

He knocked softly on her door twice before opening the door, his heart broke seeing her against her headboard hugging her legs. The brightness coming from her phone screen was the only thing keeping the room from being absolutely pitch black.

She saw him blurry through the tears, his hair ruffled and his clothes on his body messily. He hadn't had time to properly button his shirt up, too busy trying to check on her as soon as he could to put every button in its correct place.

"Ellie..." Alex cooed, approaching her as she sniffled, trying to calm herself down.

The second he reached her bed and sat beside her, he saw exactly what she'd been doing. She'd been looking at pictures of her and Julian, not the ones that she'd post but the random domestic ones like the one currently frozen in time on her phone. She looked to have been doing her makeup when he interrupted with a hug, their smiles so big on their faces it made her shiver—it felt like those two people in the picture were making fun of her.

Alex locked her phone and in a quick motion hugged her to his chest.Ella broke down all over again, clutching him like it was the only way she'd hold onto reality and not lose her mind altogether.

"Let's not do that, alright?" He suggested, rubbing her back.

She trembled under his touch from the force and continuity of her sobs, it had been such a stupid idea to go through her phone before going to sleep. Her nod was so small that he'd missed it but he continued on consoling her, pressing kisses to her head and talking in her ear.

"You're okay. He's a fucking idiot. He doesn't deserve your tears. He didn't and doesn't deserve you."

There was sweet conviction laced in his words, somehow Alex telling her helped more than if she tried to tell herself. It resonated more, it echoed louder inside her mind.

"I just don't understand it." Ella hated having to bring it all up again, but when it was all silence around her was when the questions would hunt her down. "A fucking month, he's been fucking someone else and sneaking off while I've been here like a love struck puppy stupidly waiting for him to come back. I feel so used and so stupid."

He lifted his head from where it had been resting on top of hers, so that she'd look at him. It was so dark but he could clearly see the soft sparkle of her eyes. "You're not stupid, Ella. You're the smartest one of us all."

She bit her lip trying not to cry again, chin wobbling at her naivety. "I'm clearly not. I didn't see it happening right in front of my eyes. Fuck knows if she was the only one." She let her head fall back, pressed against her headboard while she stared at the ceiling. The ceiling was the only part of her room she could see that didn't spark memories. "He's everywhere I look, Alex. Every inch of my house is tarnished with him and it's making me feel sick."

Her breath faltered, tears rolling down the corner of her eyes and falling down her temples. She'd started spiraling when she closed her door and suddenly her eyes seemed to only fall on bits that reminded of him. And she had tried her hardest to ignore it, to just think of anything else and let it pass but her heart ached to look back at every moment they'd spent together and she'd been too weak to say no.

Too weak, too naive. Stupid, stupid, stupid. All she felt was stupid.

The more her tears fell on his shoulder, the more Alex could hear her heart tearing apart. "I know, darling. But it will get better."

She straightened up, as her insides filled with anguish. She had no hope left. "I don't see how it can. He was everything. My everything."

He squeezed her tighter and she lifted her head up to rest on his shoulder again. His hand unwavering as it rubbed up and down her arm, warming the coldness in her. How could someone blatantly ruin someone like this? It was so insolent. "I know it's easier said than done, but you'll forget. You'll make new memories to replace the tarnished ones. And with time, the hurt will go and the beauty will remain." Because she seemed to glow so bright when was with Julian and he'd hate to see her dull away.

Ella started crying even more, "How stupid is it that I don't want to let the memories go though? I do this all the fucking time, I cling to every bit I have left of people until I just become numb to losing them one random day. But it's just an endless loop of torture until I get to that point, why can't I just skip this all?" It had only been a day, and she was already exhausted. "I don't even want to be in my own bedroom anymore."

"I know, I know." His hand left her arm to start scratching her head, he smiled slowly when he heard her sigh in content at the feeling. "But think about how this room could easily become your salvation if you ever accidentally let Matt and Breana stay over. And you know how shameless they can be—you'll have to start a new life just in here so you don't accidentally get flashed with Matt's arse. And believe me you really don't. Not a pretty sight at all." That was his awful attempt to lighten her mood up and it seemed to have worked when she snorted and her body shook with laughter.

In between chuckles she managed to respond, "You're an idiot."

Alex hummed a 'no', faux-defensive. "No, Breana is the idiot for going for someone like Matt. Me and you both saw him when we were high in the studio. That line about the galaxy being two thousand years old was definitely him."

"It definitely was." Ella agreed, why would he have gotten so offended by her correction if not.

"Yeah, we're not that stupid." He further backed his point.

But Ella was quick to scoff, "No, not at all Mr. 'Little tiny fruit coming after you'. How high did you get? Rude of you to not share your hallucinogens with me."

He let out a small gasp in fake disbelief, "I've never done such a thing, Miss Hayes."

"I don't believe you. No one writes such a shit song on just weed alone."

"Okay enough of your backchat." Alex argued, but he broke out in laughter at her chosen adjective to the song. "I know it's shit but it's still getting put out, it was a very monumental moment for us. New band member and all."

She moved her head up and tilted it back to look at him with an amused expression, "Yeah, very monumental with your new Glockenspiel player bandmate that doesn't even play a thing in it." The sarcasm making him giggle and the contagious sound had her giggling with him.

After their laughter died back down, Ella felt the ball move back up her throat. And maybe it was the way she held him that little bit tighter which gave her away, but Alex didn't hesitate to pull her the tiniest bit closer and continue to stroke her arm as he asked, "You don't have to stay in here if you don't want to, we can go in the other room?"

She wanted to accept, knowing at least that would make her feel better but the brief feeling of comfort would end up in something worse, "I won't come back in here if I do that... I can't let him take more from me. He's already chewed my heart up, he's not taking anything else."

"Atta girl, see? You're already in the right direction." He could only encourage her. After all, she was going to go about it at her own pace and he'd just be there with her through it.

"I just want the pain to go away. It's not fair." It really wasn't, she couldn't help but think how she was breaking down over and over while Julian could be enjoying his time with whoever it was he'd been seeing. "There's no way he's sobbing at god knows what hour in the morning like I am. How is that fair, Al?"

"It's not, darling." The whole situation infuriated him beyond belief, he wanted to seek revenge for her but not more than he wanted to strip her of the heartbreak. "I wish I could take it all away for you. I really wish I could."

"I just want it all to go away." Ella begged. It was a plea to life, to whoever was up there that thought it was fine to have her go through that.

"It'll pass I promise, and from here it will all just get better and better for you, Ellie. I cross my heart, darling." He'd find a way to pull the strings of the universe if it wasn't soon that it'll all look up for her.

Her hazy mind was able to grasp all that and it was the last thing she remembered before she'd succumbed to slumber, every atom of her being just giving up after the efforts of the past twenty four hours.

She hadn't felt Alex leaving her after he made sure she was truly asleep so she was the tiniest bit disappointed to find herself alone in bed in the morning, without his gentle touch on her to make her feel like all would be alright.

She reprimanded herself, it was just her being greedy at that point—he had been doing more than enough and she shouldn't be asking for more.

Her movements were quiet as she completed her morning routine, trying her best not to wake him up. He'd probably been up most of the night because of her cries, she felt so guilty.

She started making breakfast, finding comfort in the sizzle of the frying eggs and bacon on the pan and the drip of the coffee coming from her Keurig. The toasts were the perfect golden brown and, as she plated everything up for them, she found herself happy over the small victory it was for her to feel even the smallest amount of joy out of cooking a small meal.

Ella decided to move dirty utensils so she could wash them, carefully placing the hot pan in the sink when she saw Alex walking down the hallway and towards the kitchen. He looked to have just come out of the bathroom, she hadn't even heard him leave the guest room in the first place.

She didn't know if it was because of the fact that she was going through the worst heartache of her life, but the sight of him with his hair ruffled and wrinkled clothes shattered her.

Not in a negative way, not that it made her want to drop to the ground and cry, but in the way that she was already mourning the fact that she'd never be able to see him like that ever again. She'd always found him so breathtakingly pretty, but the image was so mundane that it added a layer to his general beauty.

He rubbed his eyes in the most childish way, she almost wanted to scream because of how adorable he looked, "Smells good." was all he said and she grinned like an idiot, filled with gratitude.

She slid the plate towards him on the kitchen counter, "This is the 'thanks for putting up with me yesterday and I'm so sorry for keeping you up all night', kind of like the most popular breakfast on the menu."

He chuckled, looking at the food and then at her. He shook his head with a smile and walked over to hug her, "You don't need to thank me or apologize for any of that. But thank you very much for this, it looks delicious." His arms held her tightly over her shoulders, she hid away on his neck with a smile and her arms around his waist.

They stayed like that for a minute and she tried backing away but he was reluctant to let her go. She pinched his waist and laughed, "It's gonna go cold, Al. Sit down and eat."

Alex left a kiss on her temple before letting go of her and sitting on one of the high chairs to dig into the food.

Ella watched him expectantly as he grabbed some of the food with the fork and placed it on the piece of toast, he lifted it up and took a big bite of it. It was good, really good but he exaggerated his reaction to entertain her.

His moan of satisfaction had her blushing and giving him a bright smile that reached her eyes. "That's really fucking good, Ellie."

She looked down at her own serving of food and timidly said, "Glad you like it."

They continued eating, settled in a comfortable silence and when they finished, he had beat her once again to washing the dishes.

She was leaning on her forearms, by the sink, sipping on her coffee while she watched Alex. The truth is that she wanted to ask for a favor but she was too shy to ask for something else from him. He noticed though, and it was so easy to read on her face that she was dying to say something.

"What's wrong?" His voice was so calm, inviting her to just use her words.

"I, um," Ella rose back up straight, leaving her coffee cup on the kitchen counter. "Could I skip this week at the studio? I would go but I'm sure I won't be the best company while I feel like this."

A sweet smile appeared on Alex's face, "Of course you can. But I have to ask for something in exchange..."

She got the tiniest bit more nervous with that, "Which is?"

"That you let me come over and disrupt your peace every day until you're back."

Ella didn't know what she was expecting but that made her let out a breathy chuckle, "Yeah, sure."

"I could take the camera and record for you as well, so you don't have to tell Ben and Aaron."

"You sure you can work a camera?" She teased, remembering how bad at checking his phone he could be. "A phone is enough of a nightmare for you."

Alex rolled his eyes jokingly, "Yes, I know how to work a camera. How hard can it be?"

She only shook her head, "Okay, I'll get everything ready for you. Are you leaving now?" She checked the time on her microwave and it flashed a 9:25 back at them.

He nodded, drying his hands with one of her kitchen towels. "Just so I can get over with the day as fast as I can and then I'll drive back."

Her eyes froze on his face after he said that. She truly was so glad he was there with her and so willing to stay around. She nodded, and when her gaze fell to his wrinkled and tear stained shirt she frowned.

"I'm gonna lend you a shirt so I can wash yours," She pointed at it, "I ruined it."

"No you didn't. It's fine." The singer spoke back, really not worrying about it but she was quick to shake her head and leave to get a shirt out of her closet.

He followed and when he walked through her door, she was looking through her shirts. "C'mere, choose whichever you'd like. Those are the biggest shirts I have." She waved him over and he complied.

He grabbed the first black shirt he saw and when he unfolded it, he laughed. It read 'Boot, Scoot, Boogie' and it had a pair of cowboy boots beside the big words.

"It's a good country classic, to be fair." She commented with a very amused grin on her face.

Alex lifted the shirt up in the air, "Thanks, Miss Tennessee."

She felt the squeeze in her chest, the last time he'd called her that was when he'd written it in the back of their photobooth pictures—one's that were hidden away in one of her drawers in between pages of her photo albums.

"You're welcome." Ella gave him a tight lip smile, "Now go get ready, before the guys start calling you non-stop"

He waved her off, "Already told them I'd be running late."

He walked into the guest room to gather his things and put them in his pockets, changing his shirt for Ella's and he knew he'd be in the best mood all day because the second the piece of clothing was on, he was drowning in her scent.

Flowers, sweetness and that small hint of tender woods.

He was already drunk on it when he came out, maroon shirt in hand and with a beaming grin on his face.

Ella smiled seeing him with the new shirt, "Suits you well."

"Thank you, darling." Bet it looks better on you. "I'll be back later, alright?"

She nodded, exchanging the shirt in his hand for the camera bag. "You take care of that like a child, Turner."

"I will, I promise." Alex let his arm drop dramatically making it seem like he was gonna drop the bag on the floor causing her to gasp loudly.

He started cackling, her face tinting pink at how easily she'd fallen for his prank. "You dick!"

She pushed him lightly and he started walking towards the front door, "Alright, alright. I'm leaving now." He stopped as she opened the door and right before exiting he opened his arms to hug her.

Ella gracefully walked into them, he wrapped them around her and made them both sway in the embrace. "See you later, Al."

"See you soon, darling." A kiss was left on her temple before he left.

She watched as he carefully placed the bag on the floor of the passenger side and, when he backed out into the road, he waved at her before leaving.

Her chest started feeling heavy again, those hours without Alex there would be hard but she had to power through them.

She remembered his words, 'the hurt will go and the beauty will remain'. She couldn't wait for that day to come.

✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧✦✧

A/N: I think that after this you can come to the conclusion that I'm an absolute whore for some angst, I love it so much. Bless Ella though, so sorry girl. Hope you enjoyed this one, shit is getting real now... See you soon with the next one, thank you a billion for reading! xx

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verilly · 1 year

Text

Dilemma

Yoshida x Reader x Denji

aliusworld's songfic event- inspo: MANNEQUIN album (Deco*27)

[Description: “Who else am I supposed to love but you?”, “Don’t play around, how much I’ve done for you…”, & “Please hug me, kiss me, but it won’t come true.”]

Warnings: OOC, blood gore I guess if you squint.

{4065 words}

•••|•••|•••|•••|•••

“[name], you’re here.” Yoshida perks up as you step onto the rooftop of your school, next to him is a boy with blonde hair. He’s tall, but not as tall as Yoshida.

You knew the plan, go on dates with that guy so Yoshida will keep dating you! It felt wrong and you didn’t know why Yoshida wanted you to, but you loved him. You wouldn’t do anything to make him turn away from you, Yoshida knew that.

“This is Denji, he can take anything you say to him.” Yoshida says again as you walk closer to the blonde guy.

“Hi Denji! My name is [name], nice to meet you” You smile up at him, he was cute. You could do this.

“Hey [name], uhh…” Denji looked down at you, his eyes shifted up and down.

“Yoshida’s said some nice things about you!” You lied, you know nothing about this kid, you didn’t even know his name until now! “Let’s get to know each other, yeah?” You held out your hand for him to shake. He takes it quickly.

“Yeah! Let’s uhm, get to know each other!”

“So, would you want to go on a date?” You know it’s a sudden change, but one thing Yoshida told you was that ‘he’s desperate’.

“R-Really?!” Denji isn’t letting go of your hand.

“Yup, how about we go to… oh! There’s a festival happening soon! Why don’t we meet up here on Saturday?” You pull away slightly, as a result: he let goes. Saturday is in three days.

“Of course! A festival is good, Saturday is good too!” Denji is basically shouting now, he looks really desperate, cute.

“Alright then, I can’t wait.” You back away, the silence is unbearable. You have to say something, he’s staring at you, both of them are. “How about we eat lunch together, this period only just started and I haven’t eaten mine yet.”

“Uh yeah! There’s a few benches over there” Denji points out the obvious, you walk over with Denji and Yoshida both following.

You sit down, the bench is uncomfortable to say the least; furthermore, you ate your lunch in silence as Denji shoo’d Yoshida away.

“Denji, do you not have a lunch?” You speak up once Yoshida ‘leaves’, you know he’s not really gone.

“Uh, nope. I usually just eat before and after school.” Denji was laid back against the bench while you were sat straight up

“Why don’t you have some of mine? I’ve done that before too, and it sucked. Here.” You hover a chopstick full of food in front of his face. Denji takes it happily. He’s too easy…

Your back in class, Yoshida sat beside you this afternoon, nice! The classroom was empty, no one had returned from lunch yet, not even the teacher.

“How was Denji after I left?” Yoshida asks

“I know you didn’t leave, but it was… okay? I don’t know, he was staring a lot. It was kind of awkward.” You sigh and lay your head onto your desk while looking at him, he’s still so handsome…

“Just take care of him, date him, and then you can date me.” He lowers his head to your level, your face flushes.

“Y-yeah, alright.”

“Denji! The pretty boy is back again! And he’s with someone else this time!” Denji’s classmate yells, Denji quickly responds by getting out of his chair and rushing towards the door.

“Why is he here???” Denji complains as he locks eyes with Yoshida, you take a step back as you watch closely.

“What’s wrong with me being here? I’m only showing [name] where your class is, they were asking for you.” You were not.

“Yeah, hi Denji! Wanna walk me home?” You smile and wave, he waves back with his mouth opened

“Why would I walk you home?” Is this guy dense?

“Because I want to get to know you better! We don’t have any classes together, so this could be our only way…”

“Oh, alright then” Denji made his way next to you, most likely to get away from Yoshida. You look at him and he nods as your cue to leave.

You take Denji’s hand and pull him away, his feet stumble after yours. His hand was warm, not soft, but it was comfortable to hold. After some distance, you let go.

“Alright Denji, I’m gonna ask some questions! You don’t need to answer them truthfully, I just want to make conversation.” You say as you walk some more, you don’t look back, you can sense his presence behind you

“Mhm, okey”

“What’s your favorite color?” You cringe at your first question, what is this? Preschool??

“Hmm… Red- No, uh orange? Maybe blonde” You mentally sigh at his answer

“Now it’s your turn to ask something” You slow down and start walking beside him instead of in front of him

“Right. What do you think about Chainsaw man?”

“Chainsaw man?” You look into space for a bit. Chainsaw man? You hadn’t thought much about him, “Well I think he’s cool? He’s a hero or something, but he’s also a devil I think? Like a good fiend?”

“No, he’s like a mix of human and devil”

“What does that mean?”

“Like a fiend… but the human can control the devil…?”

“… I guess that makes sense? How do you know all about this anyway? Are you some-“

“Because I’m Chainsaw Man, duh!” Denji smirked with pride while pointing to himself with his thumb, what the hell?

“…Alright Chainsaw Boy, I guess you really are just some fanatic” You laugh at his gesture.

Soon later, he drops you off at your home. You wave goodbye, he seemed giddy. You hope he had a good time today because you sure as hell didn’t.

[Thursday]

You walk the school from home, you didn’t live that far.

Last night, you had a dream. It was horrible. Not that it was a nightmare, but today, you felt extra tired.

Yoshida skipped class today, he always does this. You long for the day when he can embrace you in his arms, for now though, all you get are small touches. You can’t tell if they even mean anything.

Class was boring; you wrote notes, the teacher doesn’t exactly like you, all your friends are busy doing their own thing. Therefore, you’re left all alone. Maybe trying to find Denji isn’t a bad thing after all.

The lunch bell rings as you hurry out to find him, maybe if you do, Yoshida might treat you to something nice. Will he though? He’s not even here to witness it play out.

You step into the classroom to find Denji on all fours with a girl on top of him. You mentally sigh and strut towards them, maybe they’re bullies? Maybe they aren’t. Why should you care? You squat down to Denji’s level to get his attention and he definitely caught it. You two were so close.

“Denji, why is this girl sitting on you?”

“Because she paid me to, duh” He laughed, his body was still in the same position.

“Mmm, alright then. I guess then we won’t be having lunch together, bye for now!” You show him a peace symbol while lifting yourself back up.

“H-huh?! Wait-“ You didn’t stay long enough to hear him finish his sentence, you made your way to the roof top. It’s usually empty and it still is. There’s a slight breeze, but even without the breeze it’s still cold. You hoped Denji would come after you, eating alone makes you feel like a loser.

You eat your lunch in silence, it’s actually quite comfortable.

“[name]! I knew I could find you here!” It was Denji, he did come after you! How cute.

“The girl isn’t sitting on you anymore? Congrats.” You joke, he sat next to you, warmth was radiating from his body.

“No- it’s just that, she paid me so it’s the right thing to do!” There’s a pause after that, what could you do so that he’d stop letting people sit on him? You slowly think to yourself while you hand Denji a few bites of food.

“Hey Denji”

“Mph, Yeah?” His mouth is full of food, your timing was awful on that one.

“Do you really wanna go on a date with me?”

“Hell yeah! I do!” He looked at you as he gulped, he came pushing closer, he was still so warm even after being out here in the cold with you.

“Hold your horses, if you want to go so bad, then you’re gonna have to stop letting people sit on you”

“What?! Even if they offer me money??”

“… If the price is right, then go on ahead. How much was that girl paying you?”

“Five yen.”

“Five yen?? You’re letting go of your dignity for five yen??” You look at him with concern and sigh again, you take your hand and reach for his shoulders, “Listen, I’ll give you… twenty five yen to stop letting people sit on you until you raise your price.”

“Nice, alright!” Denji’s hands grabbed your forearms gently, he’s not that bad.

“Alright then, this Saturday at 6 PM, let’s go to the festival.”

“How was your lunch? I saw you with Denji, good job.” Yoshida says as he watches you enter the classroom

“You’re here now? Why’d you skip?” You ask as you furrow your brows, shifting your head to face the taller man.

“It’s nothing you need to worry about.” He smiles at you, your heart flutters for a second.

“I’ve been so good, I think. When am I gonna get my reward?” You ask quietly as you sit down next to him

“Don’t worry about it.”

“What?!— ugh. Fine.”

You didn’t walk home with Denji today, he was disappointed, but you explained that you had clubs you needed to go to. You patted his back sympathetically as he whined.

Devil Hunting Club, what a pain. You wandered around school with two strangers ‘in search of devils’. You never found anything. Worst part about it was that Yoshida ditched today’s club meeting too, you’re alone yet again.

[Friday]

Denji showed up in front of your apartment complex today! Weird.

“Good morning, [name]” He waved at you with a bright smile, his sharp teeth showing.

“Denji, why are you here?” You looked confused, your eyebrows furrowing as you approached him slowly.

“I didn’t get to walk you home yesterday, so I decided to walk to school with you today” He had dark circles under his eyes, just how long was he waiting here for you?

“Th-thank you…” Your face reddens just a bit, but you brush it off quickly.

The walk was cold as usual, but today you had someone to stick close to, someone warm. You hook arms with him at some point, you don’t remember when. Maybe this won’t be as hard as you thought it would’ve.

“This is my class Denji, thanks for walking with me~” You wave a goodbye before turning down onto your chair. He waved back before rushing away. He couldn’t get far though, Yoshida was already in front of him.

“Hello Denji” Yoshida greeted him outside the door.

“Ew, leave me alone!” Denji grunted as he continued to rush past

Yoshida watched Denji while he was walking over to you, “Good morning, [name].”

“Morning, Yoshida! You’re actually at school today.” You laugh as he sits where he usually does, right next to you.

“Denji appeared in front of our class room, what happened?”

“He walked me to school today, isn’t that sweet? I think I’m doing a great job.”

“It looks like you are.” His voice was mellow, his usual demeanor shifting to one of gratitude.

“Since I am, why don’t you treat me to something tomorrow? It’s Friday, so we can spend time together outside of school!”

“…I’ll think about it.” His demeanor changed just as quickly yet again, shifting himself to face the board in the front of the class as you mentally punched yourself, we’re you pushing too hard? That’s probably why he’s acting like this.

“C’mon! I’m gonna need an answer at some point- or… or I’ll stop working for you or whatever.” You pout, you wanted this. You wanted this really badly.

“Fine, I’ll go to your home. We can do whatever you want.” Yoshida smiled gently, it seemed fake, but you’ll take it.

“Finally! It won’t suck, I’ll make sure it won’t!” Your eyes glimmer with excitement as you smile quickly before reverting back to your normal calm-and-collected self.

Yet again, Denji showed up in front of you. Yoshida waved at Denji and was promptly ignored.

“Why don’t we stay here today? Whenever we go to the roof it’s too cold for you” Denji suggests, he was thinking of you, that’s so nice!

“I didn’t know you were paying so much attention to me, of course.” Denji sat at the seat in front of you and quickly turned it around to face you.

“Go away Yoshida!” Denji stuck his tongue out at him while Yoshida watched, he seemed a little annoyed.

“Why should I? This is my classroom too.” Yoshida smirked while looking at Denji, not you, but you decide to take Denji’s side for fun.

“Yeah you should leave!” You joke, knowing fully well he wouldn’t actually leave. Even if he left physically, he would hear everything, he always does.

“So the festival… since you remember where I live so well, why don’t you pick me up at my apartment at 6?”

“Hell yeah!” Denji shot up from his seat, followed by a bunch of eyes facing him as he quickly sat back down, sweating.

The day went by fast. Nothing really happened, you didn’t really talk at all. Too busy trapped inside your head.

“[name], are we gonna hang out today?” Yoshida asked as he tapped you on your shoulder.

“Huh? Oh yeah! You can come to my house, unless you want to go to a café instead?” You were giddy, you were waiting for this moment for days. You already had everything planned in your house. Watch movies, eat snacks… actually, you didn’t plan at all.

“Your home? Sure, I don’t need to be spending more money than I already have.” Yoshida sighed, he was being blunt. He doesn’t really want to spend time with you. It’s crystal clear, but you looked past it. You were wrapped around his pinky finger since day one. You wouldn’t let this opportunity go so soon.

“Okay!” You get up from your desk and hop out the classroom with Yoshida right behind you. “My parents work away from home so they won’t be here… so, you can make yourself at home!”

The walk was silent, a comfortable silence though, right? It’s normal for people to walk quietly together once they’ve gotten close! You two are definitely at that level already… probably?

“Here it is” You unlock the door and let Yoshida inside. The apartment is large. Larger than the average apartment in Tokyo, not considered fancy, but big enough for two separate bedrooms with different sizes and a ‘living room’. It was barely touched, whenever you were home you were stuffed up in your room, “I don’t actually have anything for us to watch, but we could just watch TV, they usually have a movie on at some point.”

Yoshida left his book bag on your sofa, it looked light. A lot lighter compared to yours. He never responded to you. You sweat before turning on the TV switching it to a channel to one that was playing some sort of show.

“Do you want anything to eat? I usually eat after school anyway, you should too.” You suggest, Yoshida grumbles for a second before putting on a smile and agrees. His smile, it’s… concerning. You grab something from the fridge, you didn’t really care to check, his eyes were on you and you didn’t want to keep him waiting.

Sitting next to him and placing the bowl in front of you, you slowly lean into him, he doesn’t move. Success!! He’s cold, it feels like he doesn’t have a heartbeat either. Weird.

“You don’t have any allergies, do you?” You ask as you look up at him, his eyes were already on you. You did move. You sweat but stay still.

“Not at all, it’s fine [name]. You don’t need to try so hard.” His voice is rough, you couldn’t help but scoot off of him. It wasn’t a lot, but he definitely felt it. Did he not want to be here? I mean, it was still a part of the deal, but maybe he doesn’t like you.

“Try so hard..?” You stutter a bit on your words as you rest your head onto the couch, “I-I’m not trying hard to do anything…”

“Liar.” Yoshida chuckled softly, maybe he did like you! Maybe you were just reading it wrong. You know Yoshida though, maybe he’s just putting on an act. You wouldn’t be that surprised… but this felt nice.

“Fine! Maybe I am trying hard. Can you blame me? You aren’t really doing anything with me. This is supposed to be a date, right? So treat it like one!!” You murmured, it was loud enough for him to hear, obviously.

“Right. A date.” Yoshida looked away from you for a split second. Another one passes and he’s above you, he’s fast, really fast. You couldn’t even tell that he moved in front of you.

You turn red, I mean, what other reaction would you have? He’s only a few inches away from you, four at most, he creeps closer and closer. You don’t move. What’s he going to do? It’s exciting.

“Y-Yoshida..?” He’s still close, right above you. His hand is behind your head, fingers barely grazing your hair. He shushes you, your breathing hitches.

Your lips touch. He’s kissing you. You can taste him. The kiss wasn’t long, he was quite literally on top of you. You were cornered onto the edge of the couch, the only thing holding you up with the couch’s arm.

“Is this better for you? ‘Date’ enough?” His voice was in a whisper, his eyes were void of any emotion but his blush betrayed him.

“Yes” You break the eye contract and stare off behind him before speaking again, “Can we do it again?”

“Honestly, [name]. It’s already hard enough to keep myself from you.” Yoshida smiles at you, it felt real, he leant down closer to you again. You wrapped your arms around his neck to pull him down slowly onto you.

“Well you’re doing a hell of a good job…” You murmur as your hands play with his soft dark hair

“Do you want me to stop doing that?” Yoshida asks, his voice soft and shallow, but you could tell he was asking in a sincere way.

“Stop keeping yourself from me? …I don’t know.” You ponder quietly as your hands stop and lay softly on his back.

[Saturday]

Last night was really nice. It felt amazing to finally be in his arms, but he said something while he was on top of you.

‘I thought about it a lot [name], and I think you should stop the whole dating Denji thing now.’

It only started three days ago, why stop? Did something change already? Does Yoshida actually like you? You told him that you still promised Denji a date today. He was ok with that.

Yoshida left your apartment a little bit after you fell asleep. Yoshida is confusing. His sudden change in emotion towards you was lovely but strange at the same time.

You wake up alone on the couch. He didn’t even decide to put a blanket on you, or he did, it was just laying on the floor next to you. The time was 10 AM. You groaned to yourself as you walked to the kitchen for something to eat.

The kimono you wore was pretty. It was a pain to get on by yourself, almost impossible, but you found a way. It wasn’t exactly tight, but it wasn’t exactly flexible either.

The time was 5:47, you looked outside your window, Denji was already there. He looks like he’s been standing there for a while. He catches your eye and waves, you back up and close your window after you wave back shouting ‘I’ll be down in a bit!’

Denji waiting for you this long made you happy. Really happy. You rushed down the stairs with a small bag full with yen to properly greet him, “Hi Denji, you’re awfully early” You smile, he smiles back.

“Yeah, I couldn’t stop thinking about the whole date thing… and it’s better to be early than be late, right? That’s what Ak-“ Denji looked you up and down before looking away, “I’ve never seen uh, what you’re wearing before. What’s it called?”

“A kimono, usually I’d wear a yukata, but it’s been cold these days.” You take Denji’s hand, “And as expected, your hands aren’t cold at all. The festival isn’t that far, it’s right over that way!” You tug on his hand and he follows next to you, his hand was kind of sweaty. “I’m surprised you didn’t know what a kimono was, I guess these things really are going out of style”

“Is it? I think it looks good on you.” You look at him, your face turns red, he said it so nonchalantly! Does he do this with everyone— no way. Yoshida said he was desperate, so he’s definitely never talked to anyone else before.

“Thanks Denji, I think you look good too” You said sweetly, he wasn’t wearing anything special, but it’s not like he looked bad or anything.

“Really?! I knew my fashion sense wasn’t bad!” He smiled, he smiled at you. Well, it was more about what you said, but it made your heart flutter again.

The festival was fun! You wouldn’t change anything about it. The food was amazing, even if you had to pay for most of it, there was scenic music playing, and Denji was really good at playing a bunch of the games. You hadn’t noticed until now, but you were holding Denji’s hand, pulling him to wherever you wanted to go.

“Ah- I’m so sorry! I didn’t mean to pull so hard on you” You apologize as you let go of his hand.

“What? It’s not a problem at all!” Denji’s face was red, was it because of the heat or was it because of you? “No… I liked your hand. Could you hold mine again?”

“Oh, sure!” You took Denji’s hand again.

That’s when you saw it. Not only the people rushing fast to get past the two of you, but you saw a… a devil?

It was large. Almost as tall as two of the food stands combined, you stood there in shock as people almost ran on top of you. Quickly coming back to your senses, you pull Denji away from the devil as fast as you could.

He wouldn’t budge after he made eye contact with the devil though. Was it a power it had or was it something else? You didn’t know or care.

“Denji?! Hurry up and move, we have to go! Now!” You shouted, you were still holding his hand. You soften your eyes and murmur a ‘sorry’ before letting go and leaving him.

A few seconds later you heard the noises of a chainsaw. ‘So he’s here to save the day again.’ You sigh in relief, then maybe Denji will have a chance to survive this disaster. You turn you head to look back, Denji isn’t visible to you, but Chainsaw Man is. He’s wearing the same things that Denji was. Strange. You decide not to think about it as you continue to make your way out of the situation.

<“it’s your choice now, who will you choose?”>

Yoshida Route || Denji Route

^Click your Choice^

Tag list: @myneighboreve

•••|•••|•••|•••|•••

Yours truly, 💟

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gracefullou · 3 months

Note

I’ve been thinking about this and looking at peoples reactions on the setlist and the biggest problem to me is not 1D songs but the fact that there’s THREE 1D songs and like genuinely if I went to the festival and I saw him then afterwards I’d left with a feeling of “he doesn’t have enough solo songs”& “he’s still stuck on 1D” when it’s not true and we as the fans know that but the gp doesn’t.

Also I do understand him putting the songs that the gp knows and blah blah blah but well the gp knows jho (or at least some people) so he could’ve sang it instead of another 1D song or a cover which no one knows anyway. But overall I think Louis is stubborn and he won’t listen to us (esp since we’re such a small group of people lol) buuuut I’m really glad to see that the fans are saying very loud that they want more solo songs on the setlist because Louis deserves to know that his solo songs >1D songs and that people love them more so I hope he sees all the complains lmao

Hi, anon. I agree with everything you said. No matter the angle you see it from, it's not looking good. At first, i was disappointed solely for the fact that all these covers are taking up the place that fitf songs should've had. Simply bc i believe in its potential, i believe that every fitf song is so much better than any one direction song. I believe that no cover (one direction or not) is the key to win people over, but fitf is. Not in i'm a solo louie only his solo songs are good kind of way but bc it's the truth. Everytime the transition between a fitf song and a one direction one happens, i feel the dip in the quality. It's frankly striking. Fitf is my favorite album ever but also, i always make all my family and friends listen to Louis' music (usually not in an obvious fangirl way) and never has anyone said that this song is bad or that they didn't like it. On the contrary, most are now casual fans/ listeners and get excited along with me when a new release of his aporoaches. I also know what i felt/ thought when i heard fitf for the first time and that's why i have no doubt in my mind that an artist could not ask for a better representation. Fitf is EVERYTHING. I just wish Louis believed that too 😔. Anyway, the more that i think about it, the more obvious it becomes that Louis is waisting a lot of potential with his setlist choices. First of all, it doesn't send the message of a solo artist that is confident in his work. It can frankly paint him as the ambitionless loser from a dead band who can't move on from the break that the media (and some of his so called fans) try so hard to make people perceive him as. When in reality, he's been up to SO much since the pandemic. People respect ambition, they respect hunger for success and validation so why put yourself in a position where you can seem to not care enough? Larries and ot5s are horrible we know that (see how they're celebrating fucking seven of all things and then they have the audacity to claim that they love him and it's the toxic solos who don't respect his previous work 😬) but i can't help but feel that somewhere, sometimes Louis is responsable as well. Fans take cues from their "idols" and Louis is not helping with the three covers. I don't even know what he's trying to achieve with it 😭. Bc he does sing an awful lot of covers even at the tour shows when he knows the crowd is mainly his fans. Like the directioners that do show up now will show up even if he reduces the number of covers to one (and everyone will be happy then ☺️). He also needs to stop thinking too highly of 1D and assuming everyone is a fan. A lot of people are not. A lot of people don't even know their songs. It's been nine years, people move on. Today was the first time that i was left feeling a bit underwhelmed and not on a high after his set. It's one thing to sneak 4 covers on a regular tour set (it used to be less rip 💔) it's a whole other thing to fill it with those and leave your own beautiful songs off in a tight set like he has on those festivals and he needs to understand the difference ASAP. And it's not that he doesn't have "popular" songs under his belt. Back to you, just hold on, miss you are more than enough familiarity for any audience. Also, as much as he cares about "popularity" when it comes to 1D songs, he doesn't seem to care for the same for his own. Hello always you has over 100M streams on Spotify with no promo or playlisting and it's not even a single. Hoth, Chicago, angels fly, bigger than me are the most popular fitf songs after waoyf but they're nowhere to see on the setlist 😃. Instead of wdbhg why not reward fans with a favorite? Megamix is a clear fan favorite. Or defenceless as a nod to the fans' dedication and effort in 2020 for example? Or maybe he does reward them... With one dead songs 😭😭😭

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forgetmenot-mymoon · 3 months

Text

CMYK ALBUM: Right as Rain Po Uta x Sabotage Len

Authors note: Obviously this is based off the CMYK album by Cirucsp and on Mors (11vein) drawings of the CMYK cast. I've been wanting to write this for a while, I finally used pride month as an excuse to do it. I might eventually make a part two.

Cw: Smoking, weed, Len

Crushed Cigarettes

That stupid blonde shitbag keeps stealing my cigarettes and hiding them. I paid Luka 40 dollars to keep mine safe and sound, she supplies the others like big Al so it wasn’t hard to convince, I'm not stupid enough to trust Luka with all my stash though, but god every time I buy some and look through my draws they're all gone. At most they disappear in 3 days then I have to get some from Luka... As I debate how to keep my goods safe the twink passes by, I didn't even have a fuckin cigarette. He looked like a fucking lil brat with his height, looking up at me like I was a criminal.

“What do you want now? I’m not even smoking,”

“Could you babysit Una and her friend? I need to do pilot stuff,”

“What the fuck is pilot stuff? Flying? Smoking?”

“I do not smoke. Furthermore, it’s none of your business, Len.”

“If I have to babysit it is my business, why can’t the others at CMYK do it?”

“Most of them can’t really be trusted-“

“Aw, but I can be? I’m flattered!”

“…Okay, I’m gonna go find someone else,”

“No, no, I can do it!”

“…For some reason, I don’t believe you,” He glared and stormed off fidgeting with his nice leather jacket.

Yeah he’ll be back, no way he’s gonna find someone in this shit hole.

I stand corrected, a couple of days later I passed the blondie,

“Hey Port! You still need a babysitter?”

“Oh, no, I found someone,”

“You- who??” He didn’t even complain about me calling him Port. What the fuck.

“Miki agreed, she’s new,”

“…who?” I haven't seen anyone new around here, I know I stay in my room a lot but I'm not a vampire. Is he joking? Po points out a lady talking to Una, I'm pretty sure that's Luka.

“The reddish hair,” Their lips move as he points to her, and her face comes into view-

“Oh- WAIT THAT'S NOT LUKA?”

“What- no- they look completely different- Luka doesn’t have red hair???”

“Both of them have almost the same color!”

“I’m leaving, you're not all there”

Fucking hell! I was okay with babysitting- I didn’t think he would actually find someone-

I should follow after them but I won’t.

——

It’s been weeks, and the babysitting shit is happening today. I'm staying in the CMYK mansion (Technically Luka owns it,) to help out. If I can catch Miki messing up Port will rely on me again! Is she even fuckin supposed to be part of CMYK? She might just be one of Luka’s girlfriends. I smash into pink hair while I think, even dropping my cigarette that I wasn’t fucking finished with it. The pink-haired stomps it out quickly, probably fearing a fire.

“Those can cause a cancer of a fire,” Miki states calmly, i don't like her.

“I’m dead,”

“Oh…”

“Yeah,”

“Well it’s still not good for the kids, doesn’t Po-Uta have a rule against that stuff?”

“He doesn’t control me.” My voice snapped and went off as cold as ice, fuck. She just walked away.

God fuckin dammit.

While I pace in the upstairs hall I notice a new addition to Port’s room, a lockbox shining out of the bottom of the bed. Wow, They're so stupid for leaving their door open, god it’s like he trusts people, big mistake. I smirk, time to go get some hair pins from Una,

“Hey kid, you got any hairpins?”

“Hiiii Len!! There’s some in the bathroom!!”

“Thanks,”

“Can we go to the aquarium again soon?”

“Uh- oh- you’ll have to ask Po,” Last time we were kicked out soooo that’s definitely not happening especially if I’m the babysitter, which by the way I’m her FAVORITE babysitter. Speaking of…

“Where’s Miki?”

“She’s downstairs watching TV,”

Hmm, I note that as I steal some hair pins from the little cup Una keeps them in, the cup is decorated with various stickers and even bedazzled a bit. It was a gift from Rana.

I leave with a small wave and head to the Ports room, it has some rain candles and some dried flowers strung around different places, it’s a very spring, April vibe. There’s a lot of blues mixed with some subtle light pinks. It’s like a flower meadow. There are a couple posters too one of just a hand…it’s pretty in here. Anyway back to the lockbox! I crouch and pull it out, it’s not heavy and doesn’t look that secure so I simply pick it…one tick…two ticks...three ticks!

Ohhh, I’ve hit the jackpot! Cigarette lottery!! So here’s where the twink put all his stash! All of them were stolen from me. I'll just steal them back…and something else, I pick one of the model planes off their window seal, his pride possession. They’ll immediately know it’s me since I don't clean up anything as I leave the scene of the crime. He’ll finally come to talk to me.

I was playing Fortnite about uh, 3 hours later, my door slammed open and blondie stepped in.

“Where the fuck is my model you asshat?”

“Ooh, we cursing today? It’s on the windowsill hon.”

“Don’t call me that," He snatches the plane off the window seal along with some of my packs on the table.

“Hey, hey,” I say standing up, glaring at him and his stupid teal sweater.

“You can’t steal them then I steal them then you steal them again Po, that’s not fair.”

“Me having to smell nicotine isn’t fair either.”

“Nothings fair in love and war Porter,”

“Go suck a dick!” Po marched to my door, looked back for 3 seconds to just glare at me then slammed it, I lit a cigarette and dozed off.

Goddamnit I wake up with a shutter, nightmares- oh I forgot to try to expose Miki! I’m such a fucking dumbass…she’ll probably be asked to babysit again too…fuck.

——

For the next couple of weeks, I stalk, I can kinda go invisible cause y'know I’m dead. I stalk the red-haired bitch around, she babysits three more times but all she does is play dolls with Una and Rana, takes them to the beach once, and watch tv. I get fucking nothing which means…I need help- not mental- well yes mental- but not right now.

If anything it’s the opposite.

Risu.

I smoke weed while I tell the crazy bitch all the details while she stares at one of her giant cylinders, a cyan clone. It won’t live long, they murder them all eventually. They are all like flowers to her, beautiful but meant to die as decor. Ugh, this is too deep I take another hit. Her hair is frizzy from being busy, the white mixing with the black as they turn to face me, away from her other tools and vials of who knows what.

“So are you trying to date Po-uta?”

“WHAT-” There goes being stoned!

“You seem to be wanting his attention then sabotaging yourself,” They said giggling quietly,

“I do not WANT his attention, he’s ugly he’s like so saturated and stupid and his hair isn’t as soft as it could be cause he doesn’t take care of the shit. Like I tell him what products are best and he fuckin ignores it all, such a shithead.

Risu stared at me like she had never seen me before, blinked, sighed then uttered “You’re colorblind, everything’s saturated!”

“No, the fuck I am not!” Just because I see differently doesn't mean I'm colorblind, god I hate women.

“…okay, it’s not like I created you or anything,” she shrugs, their lab coat is splattered in fresh CMYK, some of it drips to the floor settling with age-old stains.

“Yeah, you didn’t!”

She pauses, they pull their mask up higher. “…why did you come here? Just for weed? I’m busy and my printers starting to run out of ink.”

“Are you asking me to run an errand?” I take a hit before continuing. I need everything I can get. “I’ll do it if you tell me some dirt on Miki,”

“You are strange but I’ll play along.” She said crossing their arms. I stand, my vision gets consumed by dots for a couple of seconds. I walk off. I just have to walk to the store- darn it I forgot my wallet! I realize as I shut the door to Risu's. Ugh, I go back to the mansion, I feel a bit sick as I open the door- I immediately run into the twink- or he runs into me, I giggle.

“What?” “You're so short Porter.”

They're silent, I giggle again, “Do you know where my wallet is?

“I assume in your room?”

“..mm” I make a noise, this is a good chance for time with the twink, maybe I can learn more about Miki.

“Can you go with me to get it?”

“What!? Are you scared of your own ghosty basement or something??”

“Just come on!”

“Did you smoke?? I smell weed. You can't come in here high! There's children!” he yells and rants while following me down the stairs.

“Ah,” Their shoes scuffle a bit, I assume the blondie almost tripped.

“Don't trip sweetheart.”

“Shut up!” Heh, I love being high when someone else trips. We get to my room, I grab my wallet then grab a pack and light one while Port death stares at me.

“Can you get any worse? You're already high on weed.” He sighs, rubbing his forehead like I'm an annoying 3 year old.

“I can always get worse Porter,”

“Yeah, i have nightmares about that,”

“I have nightmares about my death.” I say then take a long hit, the smoke fills my lungs getting rid of the darkness for at least a moment.

Po doesn't know what to say so I pat his shoulder as I go to walk upstairs, They're too shocked to even yell at me. Which was the point. As I shut the front door I wished I stayed to talk to him more- Ugh never mind that- I'm dead, I'll get plenty of time especially after I expose the bitch, Miki. These thoughts haunt me as I walk up the block to the tiny convenience store. How does a small store like it have printer ink? Risu magic that's how, plus a small store is all big Al could handle. Thankfully since Al loves detrimental things, the store has a nice collection of vapes and cigarette brands, i only get the expensive ones when it's a special occasion though…or to annoy Po-uta, if I get one that smells a bit worse, he has a fit its hilarious. I walk in the smell to the delicious smell of vape- or Maki's perfume- it's hard to tell the difference with how good the smells are getting. Perhaps both with how much Maki visits, she's not here now though considering Al is asleep. I look around and go to the back, the back is where all the ink is, in fucking rows of CMYK boxes, all giant and stacked up, that's what Risu’s cloning shit needs, ugh carrying it's gonna be a bitch, and I'm not stupid enough to wake up Al. If he's not awake that means I can steal, I open the little counter door and go in to grab some packs

“Po..is that you needing another lockbox again?...y-you've…three,., week”

...I take a breath and try to ignore the implication that the stupid asshole is doing that much to keep cigarettes away from me. I take as many packs as I can-including a couple of expensive horrible-smelling ones that I will smoke in that stupid pilot's room- I shove them in my cargo shorts. Then I go back and pick up the stupid box of printer ink and head back, I lose my grip multiple times. I'm forced to just sit it down every once in a while. There's a gym in the mansion, I guess this is proof I need to use it more. When I'm semi-near Risu's lab, I opt to just push it down with my foot. You would think a god could do this herself...I did offer though. The doors are heavy as concrete so I push them open and then kick the box in. Risu looks at me with a mixture of excitement for the box and disgust for me. Po looks at me the same when I bring shit home. God, I'm worthless.

“Thanks for the box Len,” They say as she snaps her fingers and it teleports to the corner next to her giant human printer- Could they have done that the until time- Well I did offer first. Fuck this.

“Please tell me you know something about Miki,”

“Hmm, well Miki's nice but she's barely official if you ask me. I don't know why Luka lets her stay there. “

“Is that it-" I say getting pissed but then she interrupts,

“Well, she’s a positive young woman, there's not much on her, maybe argue with Po about her cable usage?” God, sometimes I wish I wasn't dead so I could die again.

I take a deep sigh, “I’ll go do that, thanks.” She smiled as i left. I basically limp back to the mansion, so fuckin' tired. I creep down the stairs and then flop on my bed, not bothering to even look around-

“You’re home early,”

“WHATTHEFUCK-” I practically jump up. The stupid twink was looking at me from their seat at my desk. “Why the fuck are you in my room?!”

“Stealing your cigarettes,”

I stand and march over to him. I turn my pockets and dump all my stash on the floor except one of the expensive ones which I hold in my hand. I grab my lighter on the ebony desk and light one, I haven't blinked since I started staring into those stupid damn eyes. Port stared back, not blinking either until he scoffed and stormed out, but he didn't even take any. A few moments later I go upstairs to the little calendar whiteboard in the kitchen. My cigarette burning in hand, I grin as the marker smoothly creates,

Len: 1 Po Uta: 0

Ah, the kitchen. This is where I do all my thinking

I giggled as I headed to the fridge for a late-night snack, I doubt I'll sleep tonight, never really do. There's fucking nothing, it's as empty as my stomach and I'm too tired to cook ramen or something. So I go to the cabinets and rip open a bag of chips. I glance out the window beneath the cabinets, It's only been a couple of years since my death but it feels like yesterday, the moon is the same shape it was that night. Well, I was killed a lot of times but for some reason (A Risu reason,) I didn't come back to life. I’m sure Rin’s ecstatic without me. I crush my cigarette on the counter and light another, leaving it for Mr. Know-it-all to find. Fresh air doesn't sit right when you've got nicotine. I hear footsteps, as I take another hit, sadly it's not Port, must be Una.

I crush the cigarette and open the fridge as she steps in, “You want juice, milk or water?”

“Juice!”

“Okay, coming right up kid.” I grab the jug- my arms still sore from the box- along with a small cup, she doesn't need to drink that much at night, it would only keep her up.

“Thank you!” she practically skips out, I bet she's calling with Rana. I finally limp back to my room, it's fucking 2 am already where does the time go? Eh, it'll be another hour of staring at the ceiling before I can sleep.

When I woke up I was greeted with a comforting waft of pollen and petals up my nose. An age-old sensation, the smell of roses. I used to have a garden of roses, my favorites were pink ones just like the bouquet on my nightstand. Did that stupid twink sneak in while I was asleep? Do they know privacy?

Motherfucker.

I will admit they are pretty though. Ugh my face better still be as white as a ghost, I put my hand to my cheek it’s warm- it’s more of as red as a tomato.

Well, this is another excuse to confront Po. My determination ignited by this unwanted gift so I stomp up my stairs and then the stupid damn spiral staircase to the upper floor. Why Luka has spiral staircases I will never understand. Rich people. I light one(an expensive one) when I finally get up, needing a break but I persist. The door's closed, which means he’s in there, the fuck never leaves it open. I knock…no answer so I knock again, there’s shuffling then ta-dah the door is open. My breath struggles for a moment, his hair is a fucking mess! I can barely contain my laughter. Idiot, Their eyes are tired but still annoyed at my existence, some things never change. The shortie opens the door wider- They only have his boxers and sweater on- okay ignoring that.

“What do you want Len? It’s 9 am,”

“Most businesses are open by now,”

“What do you want?” I push him aside as I step into the room,

“Flowers,”

They looked at me puzzled, “You have some downstairs, didn't you see them?" I nod, "And there are some flowers in Luka’s garden- she pays some of us just to care for them…which you always refuse to do. Those roses are from there. I planted some that I got on my errands to the store.”

“That’s your pilot stuff huh.” I smile as I put my cig in my mouth and take another hit, if he hadn’t given me flowers I would’ve blown it in his face, instead, I turned. Lucky bastard.

I wonder how long he was up working on that bouquet- I regret not looking at it more, the vase and wrapping looked really nice- I’ll check on it later and give it a good stare. Maybe it’ll help me sleep. I glance at the windowsill, the model plane is already back where it belongs. They always keep everything looking so brand new. Heh, Port can’t keep me like that though, since I’m dead and annoying.

“What’s that smile? You better not be thinking of stealing a plane again.”

“Never sweetheart.”

“You shouldn’t call me that stuff.”

“Why not honey?” I quietly say as Po takes a long sip of the water he grabbed off his nightstand. I can his throat move as he shallows hot. I take another hit-

Suddenly his lips were on mine.

“What the fuck,” I gasp, it ends as soon as it started,

“Well that got you to stop smoking for a second,” He smirks as he lifts up the cigar I had, drops it, and steps on it, all in that order. “The smell was annoying, it could bother Una.”- He should be glad the carpet didn’t catch- What the fuck. They show me a pack- my pack- he fucking pit-pocketed me when we kissed! What the fuck!

“Give them back you fucking asshole, I swear to god!” I grab their wrists and he just laughs, such a fuckbag. I hear a thud, god fucking dammit now he’s pinned to a wall fuck my life.

“uh…Len?”

“Shit- I didn't mean too- is your head okay?”

“I...I'm fine,”

“Are you sure?” gently touch their head…his hair has gotten softer, maybe they finally listened to my shampoo advice. He just nods, shaking a bit, stupid blondie won't even make eye contact.

He squirms out of my grip, his smile a challenge. It’s cute but this is going too far, “I’ll see you later you little shit” I say -it’s not what I want to say- I walk out as I backhand wave, his smile collapses. Another thing on the regret list.

Every step felt heavier as I walked back to my room. I stay in bed the rest of the day and stare at the damn ceiling, sometimes catching glances at the wonderful bouquet next to me. The scent may not be strong but it’s like a comforting blanket. I almost dozed off a few times cause of it.

A few minutes later, Someone knocks, I pretend to sleep, knock again, and continue pretending a couple minutes later the door opens. I know it’s blondie by the silent footsteps, but not so silent that I can’t tell they’re wearing boots. Out of instinct when Po gets close enough, I reach out and grab his wrist, “AH-“ he falls on the ground with a quiet thump.

“You’re an idiot Porter- what time is it?” I wonder how long it’s been- I sometimes stay in bed for days without realizing- this may just be a wellness check.

I sit up, “Wow, now you’re on your knees huh?”

“It’s 3 pm on a Thursday,”

“Ah I’ve been here awhile, well, I’m alive you can leave now- well not alive but y'know-“ I flop back down on the bed

“Could you give me my cigarettes Po? Also the vase is really pretty, I can tell you tried.”

I wasn’t gonna say thank you.

“I’m not giving you those cancer sticks, so are we gonna talk about what happened upstairs or what?” He says as he stands up and dusts off his pants.

“There’s nothing to talk about, it’s basically happened a couple times.”

“That’s my point. I’m not leaving till we talk about it.”

“You’re an asshole,”

“Yes, you call me that every day Len,”

I glare at the blondie, his cheeks are soft with a slight blush, I wonder if they ever wear makeup as I stare into those stupid big eyes,

“You have bug eyes,”

“Are you going to insult me till I leave?”

“Yep, your hair is too fluffy, did you take the advice I gave you months ago?”

“Okay first it wasn’t fluffy enough, now it’s too much?”

“It has to be just right, like mine,”

“You haven’t showered in a decade!” They say exasperated from me already,

“Yeah, I’m dead!” I retort. I look at the pink roses, they are pretty- oh shit yeah Miki!

“Miki watches too much tv and Una likes me better, so i don't think she should babysit.”

Port looks like he wants to die as he sighs, he does that a lot around me.

“Okay well how about you babysit?”

“I don’t wanna babysit,"

He stays silent looking at me his head cocked, eventually after a few seconds the blondie continues,

“Well Maki's been telling me how she won’t be able to babysit all the time, so I need someone and the others already said no,”

“You’re gonna force me to babysit again? Even after the aquarium incident?”

“What-“

“Ohh, no one ever told you- uh nothing,” I didn't think the others would keep that a secret! A moment of silence follows suit, Po's mouth an o shape. I giggle before continuing,

"Why can't Flower do it?"

"It's Flower, they're a mental health crisis of their own, more than even you. Anyway yes you're gonna babysit, and you’re going to the diner with me on Friday”

“What-

“See you then, I’ll tell you when you get to babysit there!” They give me a smirk showing off those nice fucking teeth of his.

Oh my god, he’s such an asshole.

Suddenly Port pops back in,

“Oh, there’s fireworks tonight in the backyard!”

I fucking grind my teeth, fine. After he’s gone I go upstairs, I need to make sure he doesn’t think I’m going up for his ass.

Asshole.

9 notes · View notes

nhl-stories · 1 year

Text

You Stupid Bitch – Leon Draisaitl

Summary: Leon is stupidly, hopelessly in love. Too bad the object of his affection has terrible taste.

Author’s Note: Just some good old unrequited love getting requited

Word Count: 7k

Album Series Mastlerlist

You stupid bitch, can't you see? The perfect one for you is me

Leon hears the yelling before he gets to the front door. Screaming is probably a more accurate word. He stops and ponders whether he should ring the doorbell or not when the door opens and a woman almost runs him over.

“Good luck with that psycho bitch,” she half-addresses Leon and half screams it over her shoulder into the house before she storms off to her car.

“Nice to see you too, Dawn,” he mumbles before he lets himself into the house.

The house is almost a mirror version of his next door and he moves through the open floor plan until he finds Chloe.

“Fuck,” Leon stops in his tracks when he sees her lip bleeding, “did she do that?”

She touches her lip to see the blood while Leon goes to the freezer to grab an ice pack.

“Dammit, and technically yes.”

Leon whips around at that comment, “calm down, it was during sex. The sex was foreplay for the fight.”

Leon gives her disgusted look while handing her the ice.

“Aren’t Germans supposed to be into really kinky shit? Cause I’m real sick of this resting judgmental face you have.”

Leon just continues to stare.

“What are you doing here?”

“You have my dog.”

As if on cue, Bowie comes running through the dog door followed by Chloe’s fluffy orange cat, Baron. He picks up his dog and snuggles him close, Baron jumps up on the counter feeling left out.

“So, you and Dawn are done?”

Leon tries to be casual, not seem too interested, but he’s dying to know. Despite seeming like a grumpy annoyed neighbor, which yes, he’s that too, he’s hopelessly in love with Chloe.

“Yes, and don’t say I told you so.”

“I won’t, but she did string you along for months and then treated you horribly while you dated, if you can even call what you two did dating.”

Chloe ignores the fact that without actually using the words ‘I told you so,’ he basically did.

“Ohhh, but the sex was so good.”

“Other people are good at sex,” he’s glad his scruff is thick enough to hide the blush he can feel creeping up his face.

“You want to stay for dinner?” She moves the ice pack and touches her lip again, the bleeding’s stopped.

“I have food that I need to cook before it goes bad,” he starts to turn to leave and pauses, “want to come over?”

“Do I have to put on pants?”

Leon turns and peers around the kitchen island to see Chloe is only wearing a long sleeve t-shirt that only barely covers the good bits. Leon second guesses his invite.

“It’s fucking cold out.”

“You’re right next door, I’ll run.”

“And I was going to leisurely walk over.”

“Fine, I’ll put on pants.”

“And bring some wine.”

///

After her latest breakup, Leon resolves to tell Chloe how he feels; or at the very least make his feelings more obvious. He says he’ll do this every time and he never follows through, which is extra frustrating because Leon follows through on every other thing in his life.

He swears this time will be different.

It isn’t.

A parade of suitors, or at least that’s the respectable way to call them, parades through Chloe’s door until one sticks. His name is Michael or Matthew or something.

Leon doesn’t care to remember, but is polite enough when he meets him the first time. He gives off a weird vibe that Leon is suspect of, partly because of his own feelings and partly because Chloe infamously has bad taste in partners.

Leon gives them a month. If he was a betting man, he would have cashed out big.

30 days into their relationship Chloe is passed out on Leon’s couch, her black cocktail dress riding up precariously high, one heel still on.

She had barged in last night while he had some teammates over. She was completely plastered and complaining about something but was too incoherent to be entirely understandable, just enough that Leon knew the problem was whatshisface.

Bowie jumps onto the couch before Leon can stop him and starts licking her face.

She groans, but indulges the dog with a pet.

“Fuck, Bowie don’t let me drink that much ever again,” the dog just snuggles into her more, “and don’t let me spend the night in this brutalism hell your dad calls a home.”

She squeezes her eyes shut as if it will block out Leon’s neutral, modern décor.

“Sorry, I don’t live in the clown house you’re accustomed to,” he laughs but doesn’t get a snarky response, “how are you feeling?”

“Like drilling a hole into my head will make me feel better.”

“So, you either had a really fun or a really bad night.”

“Very bad, first Mitchell stands me up because apparently he’s not ready to be a public couple or some shit and then I got too deep into the open bar and probably did something to embarrass my brother, so that’s another thing I’ll have deal with later.”

She squeezes at her temples, like that will help the hangover, “and I clearly remember at least Connor being here last night, so I can only imagine I further embarrassed myself.”

Leon picks up a pair of neon orange, lacey underwear and tosses it towards her, “you insisted on showing us your tattoo,” Leon grins remembering her showing off the colorful ‘Pow’ tattooed on her butt cheek.

“Jesus, and you did nothing to stop me? Protect my modesty or whatever?”

“I enjoyed the show,” he gives a crooked smile.

She lets out a heavy sigh then opens her arms wide, “Can you carry me home?”

“What? No!” He fights but he knows if she asks again, he’ll do it, he can’t say no to her.

“This wouldn’t be a big deal if you let me build the skybridge between our places,” she sulks, “then Bowie could see his boyfriend any time he wants.”

Leon rolls his eyes and moves to pick her up, hoping it will shut her up.

“My dog is not your cat’s boyfriend.”

She wraps her arms around his shoulders to hold on and Leon feels warm all over. Is hyper-aware of where his hand is gripping her bare thigh, how soft her skin is against his calloused fingers.

“They’re totally obsessed with each other and they don’t have reproductive organs so it’s not like they can commit a crime against nature or anything.”

He just gives a neutral hum in response, trying to enjoy the moment of Chloe in his arms and not let the warmth migrate south. He stops by the door and piles her purse and coat on top of her, covering up the neon underwear she never put back on.

He walks out into the cold and hopes none of their neighbors choose to look outside now. The last thing he needs is a picture of him carrying a commando Chloe back to her house, his brain hurts just thinking about the fallout something like that would cause.

They get into her house, which despite the similar layout looks so different from his own home; all bright colors and loud patterns, nothing matches, yet it all goes together. He would never tell her to her face but he loves it, it feels like a lived-in and well-loved house.

Baron comes to rub up against his legs and he has to gently nudge him away as he carries Chloe up the stairs. He’s only been in her room once before, when painters had come on the wrong day and the fumes made it impossible to take a pre-game nap, he remembers never wanting to leave.

Leon drops her unceremoniously on the bed, his arms shaking a little from carrying her so long. She mumbles something into the blankets as she moves to curl up like a cat in the middle of the bed.

It’s a giant circular bed with a deep blue velvet bedframe and headboard, something you’d imagine seeing in an old Hollywood movie.

Marlene Dietrich.

He remembers Chloe mentioning her during one their first meetings.

Alone in an elevator she just blurted it out, “I love Marlene Dietrich, my dad and I used to watch all her movies.”

“What?” He wasn’t sure he had heard her correctly.

“Marlene Dietrich, she’s German. You’re German,” she scrunched up her eyes and groaned in embarrassment, “never mind just ignore me, I just did that stupid annoying thing where you say the one thing you know about where someone is from as if that means anything to them.”

“Like if I said you’re from Canada and told you I’m a huge fan of Wayne Gretzky or maple syrup.”

“Yeah, though that doesn’t work as well because I actually know Wayne Gretzky and everyone loves maple syrup” she flashed him a smile before exiting the elevator.

Leon shakes himself out of the memory, realizing he’s been zoning out and staring at Chloe for too long, like some kind of creep. She doesn’t seem to acknowledge his presence.

“I always picture your room as more of a sex dungeon.”

“Sex dungeon is down the hall,” she doesn’t skip a beat even through a pounding headache and the comfort of her bed.

“Feel better, I’ll uh- see you later.”

“Wait, when do you head out on the road?”

“Tomorrow.”

She holds out her arms and makes a grabbing motion, “hug for good luck.”

She doesn’t make it easy for him, he has to crawl to the middle of the bed and it’s an awkward hug where his arms can’t quite get around her. But she squeezes him tightly and he wants to just collapse onto the bed and hold her until the rest of the world melts away.

Instead, he presses a kiss to her temple. Maybe lingering a second too long, taking the time to imagine a world where Chloe is waiting for him in her bed, waiting for his kisses and his touch and his love. He pulls away before he gets too deep into his fantasy.

///

Before Chloe was his neighbor or de facto dog sitter or even his unrequited love, she was a face in the crowd he couldn’t escape.

If Edmonton bigwigs stopped by practice or the locker room after a game she was there, with varying levels of enthusiasm. If there was a charity event at a hospital or a school or anywhere, there she was directing people on where to go or hands on a craft. If there was a gala he was forced to go to as a face of the Oilers, there she was dressed to the nines and rubbing elbows.

From what he gathered she worked for a foundation or something, Leon didn’t pay her much mind, though he was curious. She was young, within a year or two of his age, but she could run a room of rich, white men.

She simultaneously fit in and stood out in every crowd and that fascinated Leon, who often felt out of place in the off-ice world hockey had forced him into.

Then at one gala, she was talking to Connor and he found his in. Instead of having an enlightened conversation he was met with a spill of red wine when she turned around quickly as he was walking up. She apologized profusely as Leon could feel the wine drip down his chest.

She insisted on taking care of the dry cleaning, giving Leon the address of her place. When he went to pick up the suit he was greeted with his now-clean suit, a new custom-made suit, and a note:

Thought you could use a spare gala suit in case you run into a drunk socialite who’s ruder than me. I probably owe you dinner too

xo, Chloe Cohn

Suddenly it was clear, she wasn’t just someone who worked for the foundation, she was the name behind it. It was a pretty ubiquitous surname around the city.

All of this to say, it’s why Leon is willingly at a gala event mid-season, any excuse to be in the same room as Chloe.

It’s also come at an especially crucial moment in time because Chloe said she’s taking a break from dating. A first for her, or at least a first since Leon has known her. Making it a perfect time for Leon to double-down on his resolution, without competition from anyone else.

For once, he actually starts to follow through. It’s nothing big: wrapping an arm around her shoulder for casual contact, bringing her flowers to thank her for watching Bowie, sitting closer than normal when they have an evening glass of wine.

It’s pathetically small if he thinks about it, but it’s forward motion so it feels like a breakthrough.

Chloe is across the room wearing gown so deeply purple it’s almost black. While she has a fairly boyish figure, there’s nothing boyish about how she looks in that dress, somehow finding a floor-length dress that can show off too much skin on display to be appropriate for this event. Leon can feel his throat getting dry as he watches her chat up a group.

“If you keep staring like that, all of Edmonton will know you’re in love with her before she does,” Connor laughs as he and Lauren sidle up next to him.

“You’re leering,” Lauren adds, “not that I can blame you, but tone it down in public.”

Leon takes a large swig of his drink in response.

“Hey guys, thanks for coming. Oilers always help donations go up,” Chloe’s brother Peter, the head of whatever enterprises the Cohn family owns, comes up and shakes their hands.

“Of course, happy to help while enjoying an open bar,” Leon jokes and Peter laughs along with him.

“And I assume you’re keeping an eye on my sister,” Lauren chokes on her drink next to them, “lord knows she needs someone to keep the riff raff away.”

“Well- uh,” Leon stutters.

Peter always makes him nervous, he’s almost a decade older than Chloe, making him have a paternal air about him. Leon always has a hard time reading whether he’s being a stern father figure or a joking older brother, his relationship with his own sister is so drastically different.

Peter claps his shoulder, “I’m kidding, many have tried but she’s the only one who can keep herself out of trouble.”

“Stop harassing my neighbor, Petey,” Chloe teases her brother and before cuddling up to Leon, like she’s protecting him from her own sibling.

He looks his sister up and down, “You’re not planning on embarrassing yourself tonight, are you?”

“I apologized about my behavior at your birthday,” she says like a petulant child.

Leon sees Connor and Lauren get pulled away into another conversation and now he’s trapped in this passive aggressive sibling moment.

Her brother just gives her a l look that screams, ‘I’m not mad just disappointed.’

“Besides I have to cause a scandal here and there if I seem too similar to the golden child people might start putting me in charge of more things.”

“And god forbid that happens.”

Leon knows this is a weird gray area between the siblings. Equal parts a long running gag and a major point of contention. Chloe more than happy being in charge of the of the Cohn Foundation and nothing else, while her brother believes she’s smart enough to take on a bigger role in the business-side of the operation.

“And you have to admit, it’s been a while since I caused an ‘incident’, that’s personal growth.”

“The last incident was you bringing a prostitute to dad’s funeral, so no one has forgotten about that one.”

“They were a stripper, not prostitute and I was dating them, Dad had met them and was a fan. And at least in my mourning I didn’t try to marry someone without getting a prenup.”

“Okay truce, Clo,” he holds his hands up in surrender, “But cool it on the champagne, you have a speech to give later. Draisaitl maybe keep an eye on her,” he smirks.

“Leave Leon out of this,” she subtly flips him off before shooing him away to go mingle.

She’s still pressed up against Leon’s side and then looks up and smiles at him like they’re the only ones in the room. He gingerly moves his hand to her waist.

“But actually, maybe keep an eye on me, I do have to talk.”

The warmth connecting them is severed when a voice calls out to Chloe and an older woman goes in for a hug. He hates the feeling of her skin slipping away under his fingers.

“I should have known I’d find you by the dashing Mr. Draisaitl.”

Chloe does a quick intro, stopping Leon from slipping away to another conversation. Though another conversation with a random Edmontonian might be worse than this, the more VIP the person the more likely they seem to give advice on his on-ice performance.

“I just wanted to grab you and let you know Caleb is moving back to Edmonton.”

“Oh.”

Her face loses its emotion and Leon thinks maybe another conversation would be better than this.

“And I was thinking if you were free, you’d help get him reacquainted with the city.”

“Um- I – I could probably find the time,” she stammers, “He’s really moving back? He always said he’d rather die than come back here.”

“People thought you’d never come home, but things change,” there’s something under the woman’s tone that Leon doesn’t like, “I’ll give Caleb your number.”

“Great,” Chloe has a stiff smile as the woman walks off.

As soon as the woman is clearly out of earshot she turns to Leon, “I’m gonna give my little speech now, but do want to share a car home afterwards?”

“Yeah,” he gives a soft smile, hoping it will help relieve some of the tension crossing her face.

Later, they’re waiting for a car to pull around; Chloe leaning into his side trying to combat the cold in her thin dress. She puts more weight on him, like all her exhaustion caught up with her in the distance from the door to the curb. His nerves are singing at the contact.

When they climb into the back of the car Chloe scoots right up next to him, even though she has the whole back seat to spread out in. Leaning her head on his shoulder. He wraps an arm around her and pulls her tight.

He wants to ask her about this Caleb guy, but he doesn’t want to pop this bubble they’re in. He needs to enjoy this moment.

If he was braver, he’d seize this moment and confess his love.

///

Turns out Caleb is an ex-boyfriend or the one who got away or something along those lines. Chloe is never completely clear about it.

All Leon knows is he really hates him.

Leon can already feel all his forward progress slipping away and he’s worried with the upcoming road trip that when he comes home Chloe will have a new boyfriend. He’s even more worried that this one might actually last. Caleb has some history and connections Leon doesn’t know he can compete with.

He feels more certain about it when he happens to look up at the jumbotron during their final game of their homestand and sees Chloe squeezing Caleb into her side as she cheers into the camera. They look natural together. Leon takes his anger out on his mouth guard, tensing his jaw.

“She’s wearing your jersey.”

Connor doesn’t normally do small talk on the bench, but he can tell this is not the kind of anger that lights a fire under his teammate and makes him perform better. It’s the kind of frustration that makes Leon unbalanced and erratic.

“I can have Lauren try and get some intel while we’re away.”

It’s not a good solution, but it’s enough for him to loosen his jaw up a little; it gets him back on solid ground.

“So, what’s up with you and that new guy,” Lauren casually asks while on a walk with Lenny and Bowie.

“I don’t know,” Chloe shrugs, getting a little uncomfortable.

“Connor just said you guys were looking cozy on the jumbotron, I thought I’d ask,”

She’s working her best nonchalant tone to make Chloe comfortable enough to spill, it works.

“I’ve been in love with him like my whole life,” she groans like there’s never been anything more embarrassing in the world.

“So, something’s going on then?”

“Yes? No? I don’t know, it’s weird.”

Lauren just nods, encouraging her to go on.

“Little rich girls are supposed to grow up and marry little rich boys and he was so cute and smart that I was always fine with those expectations if it meant I got Caleb in the end. But for him I was never well-behaved or pretty or womanly enough but I just kept coming back and trying again.”

The dogs seem to sense the shift in the mood and whine and look at the women.

“By the end of uni I moved back home and he moved to Toronto and I thought I got passed all of it. But he’s back and it’s been years, we’re full adults, so maybe it’s different this time around.”

“Maybe,” Lauren has worry pooled between her brows, “but maybe it isn’t.”

To say the news puts a damper on Leon’s outlook is an understatement. He has a reputation for being grumpy or brooding, but this is a new level and it’s not going unnoticed. The only consolation is he’s excelling on the ice, it might not be the best coping mechanism but it’s working for him.

However, when he’s off the ice, he’s wallowing in his depression. Currently, it’s taking form in lying face down on his couch for the past 3 hours, not sleeping, not thinking, just in a fugue state.

The doorbell rings.

He’s not expecting anyone so he doesn’t make the effort to move. It rings again and he’s tempted for a second to go check. It’s when he hears a key in the door that he knows it’s Chloe. He still doesn’t move, worried that if he looks at her, he might cry or something.

She sets something down on the coffee table and sits down on the floor in front of him.

“I wanted to check on you, since you’ve been ignoring my texts and then came and took Bowie in the cover of the night.”

“You weren’t home when I got back,” he mutters into the couch.

“Okay, but it’s weird for me not to see you for so long after you come home, just wanted to see if you’re feeling alright,” she gently rubs a hand up and down his shoulder and back.

He finally turns his head to look and can’t help smiling back at her sweet, coy smile.

“Yeah, just the season catching up with me,” the lie feels heavy on his tongue.

“You can’t tell on the ice; you’re playing really well.”

“Thanks,” he sees the bouquet of orange and yellow flowers on the table, “Those for me?”

“Thought it could brighten the place up,” her smile is infectious, “boys deserve pretty things too.”

She’s the only pretty thing he wants, needs.

Leon finally sits up; he hates how much lighter he feels in Chloe’s presence. Ignoring her wasn’t helping him get over anything, just making it worse.

“Wanna hang out and order some food in?” He might as well go all in.

Her smile fades for a second, but she recovers quickly, “I would but–“

“You have plans that’s fine,” a chill runs through his chest.

“Yeah, but I can cancel if you need someone.”

She places a hand on his knee, her touch lights him on fire; he can’t tell if the burn is good or bad.

“No, don’t worry about it.”

“Are you sure? It’s really not a problem.”

“Really, it’s fine.”

“Okay, another time then,” she uses his knees to help herself up and gives him a quick peck on the cheek, “soon.”

“Yeah, soon.”

///

He doesn’t really mean soon with any gumption, but he comes when she calls like a puppy.

Not that he could really turn this down: it’s for a kid.

He comes into the Cohn wing of the children’s hospital, he’s not wearing any Oiler gear he doesn’t want to be too noticeable, when he sees Chloe making faces against the glass of a kid’s room.

He can’t help the warm feeling that grows in his chest, or the husky laugh he lets out.

“Oh hey, you made it!” she makes one more face, and the child on the other side of the glass kisses her nose.

It’s the last thing he needs to see while he’s trying to “get over” her, not that he’ll ever actually get over her. But it’s hard not to feel something stir in his chest when he sees how much she cares about people. She could just live her life as a rich heiress and instead she’s here.

She walks over and gives him a big hug, “I know that this isn’t the ideal way to spend an off day, but it really means a lot to me.”

“Happy to help.”

“She’s down this way,” she grabs his hand to pull him along and it takes all his concentration to stop from flinching at the electric current between them.

She stops him just outside of the door and peers around the corner, “Hey May… I have a surprise for you.”

“A kidney?” The little voice responds.

Leon’s heart breaks a little.

“Okay sorry, I might have come on a little strong, but I promise it’s a really good surprise,” she walks further into the and waves Leon to follow him.

When he rounds the corner the little girl’s eyes bug out of her head. Leon can’t help but grin.

“Hi May, good to see you again.”

She stares in awe for a few seconds longer before running up and giving him a hug. Leon feels his back strain when he bends down so he picks her up to squeeze her tight.

Leon had met her a few times at Oilers visits, she’s obsessed with Bowie and therefore a little obsessed with his owner. When Chloe had learned this information, she got the young girl a stuffed dog that look remarkably like Bowie, forcing Leon to sign a little note in a locket the dog wore around its collar.

He sets the girl down and she starts talking a mile a minute.

“Did Chloe give you the picture of us?”

“Yeah, I have it on my fridge so I see it almost every morning.”

May had autographed the photo of the pair coloring around Christmas. It was stuck to his fridge under a Köln magnet; partly because it was cute and partly because Chloe thought it was ‘so fucking cute, this little girl is melting your icy heart.’

Leon shows May about 1,000 pictures of Bowie, he doesn’t want admit he loves when he can show off the dog, most people would get bored after a couple.

“Maybe when I get out of the hospital I can meet him,” May has a pair of eyes that could put Bowie’s to shame.

“You have yourself a deal,” Leon shakes her hand, exaggeratingly shaking her arm until she dissolves into giggles.

The soft, loving smile on Chloe’s face is a bit of a bonus, too.

The trio plays a few card games, he can’t help but notice the stupid grin Chloe gets every once in a while, reading a text, he tries to power through without getting too angry.

“Chloe are you sure you can’t give me a kidney?”

Leon has half a mind to forfeit the rest of his season to give her one of his.

“If I had a spare kidney to give I would,” she gives a sad smile, “but you know nurse Jordy?”

The little girl nods, squeezing stuffed Bowie closer to her.

“I gave him one of my kidneys when he was 12, and look at him now! He’s healthy and he’s helping you guys out and that’s gonna be you next.”

“I don’t want to be a nurse,” she pouts, picking up on a specific detail like only a child can.

“You don’t have to be, but a new kidney is heading your way and you’re gonna get healthy and strong like him.”

That seems to appease her, until it’s time to say good bye. She gets a bit teary and it makes Leon never want to leave.

“Thanks again for doing that,” Chloe says as she walks to the parking garage with Leon.

“Of course, she’s a sweet kid.”

Chloe’s phone buzzes and she’s quick to open the notification, that goofy grin spreading across her face.

Since he’s a glutton for punishment he asks, “who’s got you smiling like that?

“Just Caleb, he’s so stupid,” her tone has too much adoration in it.

“Say hi to your boyfriend for me.”

He doesn’t mean for it to sound so brusque; he just can’t help it. He hates how his blood boils thinking about it, how he wants to be the one that makes her smile like that to herself, like the joy is bursting out of her.

She pinches her lips together and narrows her eyes at Leon, “it’s not–“

She pauses to like she’s needs to rethink her phrasing, instead she just rolls her eyes and gives him a little shove.

Leon gets in his car and drives home angry.

///

He doesn’t consistently pick up on the road, but he does on this trip. Two nights in a row.

The first night it’s a woman who looks too much like Chloe. He thought it would be therapeutic, despite the looks Connor gave him as he left the bar with her. It’s not. That’s what he gets for not following Connor’s advice, even non-verbal advice.

Her eyes are the same shade of light brown as Chloe’s, he has to turn her over to avoid any eye contact. But her hair still reminds him of Chloe’s and he fucks her fast and rough, just to feel angry, to feel anything.

The next night he picks up a woman who looks nothing like Chloe. She’s all tits and ass and that fake shyness that comes with trying too hard to be pliant and agreeable. Leon lets her spend the night, to give himself the illusion of intimacy.

They have an off day the next day, so he fucks her again then takes a nap after she leaves.

He’s debating whether to be social and go out to dinner with the guys or stay in and order room service so he doesn’t have to sulk in front of anyone.

There’s a knock on the door and he’s a little grateful that the decision seems to be made for him.

What he’s not expecting is for Chloe to be on the other side, wide Cheshire grin. She’s wearing a long white winter coat and a dress that’s far too short for the weather, a pair of thigh high boots leaving a sliver of bare skin visible.

“You gonna let me in or what?”

He wants to ask how she knew his room number, but he can guess: Connor. So, he skips to the next question.

“What are you doing here?”

“I had business in town”

Leon steps aside, she breezes past, the smell of stale wine wafts past him.

“And that involves getting drunk?”

“Yeah, it’s called a business lunch,” she says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world

She picks up the pair of underwear the girl apparently left behind and twirls it around her finger, “you apparently had some business too, good for you.”

He feels his ears turn red and watches her sit on the edge of the bed, he leans against the hotel dresser to keep his distance.

“Seriously, Clo, why are you here?” he points to the ground to make it clear that he means this place, right now.

“I wanted to take you to dinner.”

“I was just gonna order in…”

“C’mon let me take you to a fancy schmancy dinner, my treat.”

“I can pay for my own dinner.”

“We get it, you’re rich too, whatever. it’s been a while since we hung out, just the two of us. So please let me take you to dinner,” she sticks out her bottom lip and bats her eyelashes.

He groans in defeat, though he wishes he had more will power to make her beg a little longer.

“Great, wear this sweater I bought you,” she holds out the shopping bag she brought.

He furrows his brows and pulls out the sweater, it’s a deep teal color and maybe the softest thing he’s ever felt.

“You don’t own enough colors, and this will bring out your eyes.”

“Thanks, for the gift and the insult.”

“Shut up and get dressed,” she rolls her eyes.

When he comes back out of the bathroom, Chloe is laying back on the bed texting. Her legs dangle off the edge and her dress rising dangerously high. It takes everything in him to stop himself from pushing between her leg and taking her apart until she’s saying his name and forgetting that there’s anyone else in the world.

She notices him borderline lurking and sits up on her elbows, “looking good Draisaitl, ready to go?”

He shrugs eating in still seems like the better option.

They end up at a restaurant that is probably still too fancy for what either of them are wearing, but the hostess knows who Chloe is before she even gives a name, so he guesses it’s okay.

“Miss Cohn, we’ll bring your dad’s vintage out to you.”

“Sounds great, thank you,” she smiles and waits for the hostess to be out of ear shot, “my dad like bought up a bunch of wine he liked at a bunch of different restaurants, I don’t know what it is but they’re usually good.”

Leon shrugs, just going with flow.

“He obviously thought he would leave much longer than he did, cause they still give me bottles like 5 years after he’s died, and he drank heavily and smoked cigars so he had no business thinking he’d live into his late 90s.”

Leon loves when she talks about her dad, loves the soft face she gets when she talks about him.

He died before Leon was even in the picture, but it feels like he’s getting a peek behind the curtain when she opens up about him, their bittersweet relationship that came with the 70-year age gap, yet didn’t change the love between them.

A waiter comes by and pours them each a glass of red wine.

“I guess cheers to your dad then,” Leon smiles.

“Yeah, cheers,” they clink glasses.

“Chloe, what are the odds,” Leon stiffens at the sight of Caleb coming by with a glass of dark liquor.

“Caleb hey,” she stands up to hug him, “what are you doing here?”

“Tying up some loose business ends in Toronto, why am I surprised you got a table here on short notice,” he doesn’t even turn to acknowledge Leon, and Leon drains his glass of assumably insanely expensive wine in one gulp.

He pulls out an unoccupied chair at the table, “Yeah, um do you want to join us?”

“Sure Chloe, thanks,” he says as if he didn’t force himself onto their dinner

Finally, he turns to the other man, “nice to finally meet you Leon, she never shuts up about you.”

Leon can’t help but smirk at that and tries to give his firmest handshake in response.

Leon only hated the idea of Caleb before, but after spending five minutes with him, he just hates the guy. He went out of his way to talk about things Leon didn’t know about like childhood friends and would talk over Chloe when she tried to include him.

Thankfully the waitress came by to take their orders, because Leon is about five seconds from texting Connor to pull the emergency call card for him.

“I’ll have the gnocchi,” Chloe says closing her menu

“That’s a lot of carbs,” Caleb hums, not even looking up from his menu.

Chloe twists her lips to the side, for a second Leon thinks she’s finally going to tell him off.

“Yeah, change that to the branzino.”

Leon had seen Chloe do a lot of things for a relationship, but shrinking herself was always the worst.

“I’ll have the gnocchi and the chef’s salad,” Leon hands his own menu off and winks at Chloe, “you can have some of my gnocchi.”

The rest of the dinner is equally tortuous, and as if he could read his mind Connor calls just as they’re debating another bottle of wine after dinner.

“Sorry to run out but Davo wants to talk,” Leon is out of his seat before he finishes the excuse, and is rushing out of the restaurant before Chloe can get out of her chair to hug him.

///

Chloe comes by his house a few days after the road trip ends, she’s wearing an Oilers sweatshirt he’s pretty sure is his. She looks better in it anyway.

“Have you seen Baron? Caleb doesn’t like cats so I kicked the little guy out last night and he hasn’t come home and I’m getting a little worried,” the panic rises in her voice.

Leon knows where Baron is, he’s cuddle up with Bowie on his dog bed; he let the cat in when he started crying outside his back door. But he doesn’t tell Chloe that, because Caleb hating Baron is somehow the last straw.

“The guy hates your cat, too?”

Chloe taken aback by the comment, with her ‘missing’ cat and all.

“He walks all over you, he tells you what you should eat, and he basically hates your child. Why the fuck are you doing this to yourself, he’s a shitty person.”

“We’re not really together it's–“

“Chloe it doesn’t matter if you’re not actually something, he’s a waste of your time. They’ve all been a waste of your time, you can never pick someone who actually cares about you and I’m sick of watching it!”

“Where is this coming from?”

“You stupid bitch, I love you!”

In his wildest dreams, or nightmares, Leon never thought this is how he’d confess his love: with name-calling. But the words are out there and there’s a weight lifted from his chest.

Chloe blinks too many times, like she’s trying to make a hallucination disappear. She opens her mouth and a strangled sound comes out before she closes it again.

“What?” She finally squeaks out.

“I’m sick of seeing you throw yourself at people who don’t care about treating you right and then breaking your heart because I’m in love with you and I would never do that to you.”

“Wow, and what was that first part? I’m a stupid bitch?” The ghost of a smile graces her lips.

Leon takes a step forward, still not wanting to overstep by touching her, “yeah everyone else thought I was really obvious so I had to say something to get through your thick skull.”

Then his hands are full of Chloe, her arms around his neck, her lips on his, her tongue in his mouth.

It’s everything he’s been wanting for so long he doesn’t know where to start or focus, he wants his lips everywhere, his hands everywhere. His brain malfunctions before he can even figure out where to start, so he just tries to follow Chloe’s lead.

She pulls away and Leon feels his face following, hoping to reconnect. He nearly whimpers at the loss of contact.

When he finally looks at Chloe, she looks a bit frazzled; she’s running a hand through her hair and her eyes look wild.

“I don’t– I don’t love you, because that would be insane,” she’s gesticulating wildly, “since I haven’t thought about us that way.”

Leon feels his heart sink into his stomach.

“But this is something,” she starts to kick off her shoes, “I’d very much like to explore.”

She whips her jacket in the direction of the door and grabs Leon’s face and pulls his lips to hers again. His mind is back online and he pulls her by the hips against him.

Something nags at him before he can get in too deep, “and this isn’t just sex? Cause I can’t do that Clo.”

“No, I mean not that I’ve never thought about it” she attaches her lips to his jaw, “I have eyes and a vibrator, of course I’ve thought a little about it,” she feverishly moves closer to his mouth.

She finally comes up for air and is breathing heavily, she holds Leon’s face and looks him dead in the eye, “But you want what’s best for me and that sounds really good, because I’ve never had that before. And I want what’s best for you too, and maybe I can give that to you.”

Leon feels like his heart might burst out of his chest.

“Really?”

She nods, desperation in the little movements, “And I’d love to talk more about that but that love confession really turned me on and I want to have sex, like right now.”

Leon let’s out a husky laugh, but isn’t one to look a gift horse in the mouth. He lifts her up and almost falls up the stairs in excitement. He’s waited for all of this for so long.

///

Chloe falls back onto the pillow, sweaty and flushed.

“Holy shit,” she turns to look at Leon, running her hand through his sex-rumpled hair, “all those times you said other people are good at sex, you meant yourself?”

“I mean–“ he laughs and turns on his side, wanting to memorize her blissed out face, “I don’t want to brag.”

“No, you should brag. I’ve had sex with a lot of people and that–“

Leon rolls on top of her and covers her mouth, “let’s not talk about your past lovers right now.”

She gives him a quick peck before pushing him off and heading to the bathroom, giving him a bit of a show on the way.

On her way back she hears some scratching at the door, she opens it up and Baron and Bowie come bounding in, jumping up onto the bed.

“Oh my god Baron, you were hiding out here?” she crawls under the covers and pulls the fluffy cat close to kiss.

“Christ, Chloe, we’re still naked.”

She chuckles, “I’m so sorry to scar the children, but Baron has probably seen much worse; he’s a bit of voyeuristic perv.”

“Yeah, well Bowie is innocent,” he laughs while Bowie tries to crawl up to lick his face.

“Look Baron, both our boyfriends live in the same house now, double dates all the time.”

“Boyfriend?” He feels a little woozy hearing Chloe talk like that.

“On a trial basis of course.”

“Of course,” he smirks.

“Cause I’m notoriously bad at this stuff so you might want to rescind the offer after the novelty wears off.”

Leon pulls her into another kiss, because he can and he doesn’t think that will ever get old.

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