#but then i just can't seem to muster the energy to actually do them

[tea-understands]

tfw you read a really sad story which actually happened and you understand every single decision of the person writing it. I can literally picture me living their life. some of the details they mention are so accurate that it's downright scary lol

[personasintro]

Mutual Help | #18

𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭: @kithtaehyung

↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help

⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader

⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn

⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, mature content

⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 7k+

⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢ 

Leaving your overthinking for the rest of the day has probably been one of the best decisions you've decided to make on this starting trip. You won't let yourself overthink all that stuff, not allowing yourself not to have fun and think through every Jungkook's action. It shouldn't matter if he did it to get Kiko's attention or not. You know her attention is subtly focused on the both of you, no matter how many times she's trying not to stare at you and act nice towards you. Maybe she just feels bad after you stormed at her, and you can't forget the fact that she's hiding something, according to Jungkook's words.

He told you how he wants to enjoy this trip, regardless if Kiko will be here or not. And she is, yet you can see him watching her whenever he thinks nobody sees him.

After all of you had fun at the lake, you let yourselves dry in the burning sun before it got too hot and unbearable, to change into clothes and play some sport games. Namjoon brought a soccer ball, which obviously led to a soccer game. At first, it was a men vs women game, which could never lead to a complete trouble free game. Surprisingly, you weren't bad as a team like you expected you to be. You were doing pretty good actually, to your standards and mutual strength at least. Unfortunately, and quite obviously, men were better and it seemed super easy for them to win.

"That was foul!" Minjae screamed at them, making sure they heard her across the huge soccer field that you made for yourselves.

"No, it wasn't. Seulgi stumbled on her own, Namjoon didn't even touch her." you told her, replaying the memory you just saw a few seconds ago.

"Y/N! You are supposed to be on our team!" Seulgi laughed, shaking her head at Minjae's attempt to save your already bad score.

Shrugging, you just sent them an apology smile. "I'm just honest."

Looking at Jungkook, you saw him sending you a flying kiss with a smirk, his way of thanking you because they just added another goal to their score.

Then you created a new team, a mixed team so all the men could finally play at least some kind of serious game. You, Jungkook, Jimin and Seulgi. The other team was Kiko, Hoseok, Namjoon and Minjae while Taehyung remained as a referee. Your team won, with Jungkook's energy and skills, you barely had to do anything other than to kick him the ball whenever it somehow stumbled in front of your feet. Regardless of that, you were still proud of yourself for winning, even though it was mostly Jungkook and Jimin's merit.

The rest of the day went like this and before you realized it, it was time for dinner while the sky was getting darker with each passing minute.

Now, the sky's completely painted dark with beautiful stars sparkling in the distance with sounds of crickets echoing through the space. Even the sound of fire sizzling and the warmth that spreads on your face because of it, is oddly calming. You take that moment to cuddle up to Jungkook, who's sitting next to you, with his arm over your frame pulling you closer. Stomach full, all you can muster to do is listen to everyone's chattering and laughter that slowly fades in the distance as you let yourself think. Your eyes automatically drift to Kiko, who's sitting obliquely from you, head resting on Hoseok's shoulder as he keeps laughing and nodding along to Namjoon's funny story of how he broke his sister's bathroom door.

"Hey, are you sleepy?" Jungkook asks softly, shoulder slowly nudging the side of your face as you frown.

"Kinda," you sigh, "But not really. I think the fire's making me sleepy." you admit, appreciating the warmth of it warming your face.

Even though it's July, it gets even colder at night than back in Seoul. It makes sense, considering you're surrounded by hills and more located to the South.

"You wanna take a walk?" he asks, your head lifting in interest as you look around.

"But it's dark." you point out, not seeing any lamps, well instead of the flashlights and disposable torches the boys had brought, that surrounds the space around you where you're camping.

"Oh, are you scared?" Jungkook nudges you with his shoulder again, shaking your whole body with the single movement as you roll your eyes. "Don't worry, I'll protect you." he promises, a cocky grin earning its place on his lips.

"I'm not scared, you moron." you tell him, faking annoyance and it still makes him chuckle at your attempt.

"Sure, whatever you say." he muses, teasing you but all you give him in response is another roll of your eyes and grin that can't be hidden anymore.

"Okay, let's go. But if we see or hear anything suspicious, we're coming back." you tell him, pursing your lips while you stare at him sternly, daring him to say something different.

His nose scrunches and he starts to laugh at you, but nods to your words nevertheless. "We'll take our phones with us and light up our flashlights on, you big baby." he says, jumping to his feet as he shakes his head to ruffle through his hair.

Big—big baby? The audacity! 

Standing up, you dust your sweatpants and take Jungkook's hand that he holds up for you to take. 

"We'll be right back. We're gonna just take a walk." Jungkook informs the group, making them nod in response before they barely pay attention to the two of you leaving.

They are too busy chattering while drinking beer and soju. Or at least it seemed like it because as soon as you're in the safe distance of not hearing them, Taehyung turns around and watches you walk further and further away.

"Do you think they're gonna fuck?" he asks, cheeks red from the fire but also from the amount of soju he's already drank.

Jimin cackles, telling him to stop drinking that much although, his own eyes drift to your disappearing bodies. What they don't see is the look on Kiko's face that makes her straighten and take a deep breath. It doesn't go unnoticed by Hoseok and he wraps his arm around her petite frame, pulling her closer as he presses his nose into her hair.

"You okay?" he asks her silently, making sure nobody else listens to him.

She looks at him for a brief second before her eyes focus on the flame of the fireplace Jungkook and you made. It's almost as if it's mocking her straight in the face. "Yeah, I'm sure." she assures her best friend, giving him a weak smile but he's not buying it.

"Kik," he sighs, but she just shakes her head in response.

"I'm fine, Hobi." she tells him and ends the conversation there, but still cuddles to him even more.

When he squeezes her, she feels at least some kind of comfort and is incredibly thankful for her friend. Hoseok knows, yet doesn't pressure her into anything and even if she's acting like nothing's wrong, he begs to differ but doesn't say anything. He shows his support with the stronghold he has on her body, silently telling her that he's there for her.

"What? I'm just wondering!" Taehyung exclaims, shrugging his shoulders innocently and the simple act makes Jimin snort.

"Stop wondering about your friends' sex life." Jimin reasons, hearing a loud snicker coming from Namjoon's mouth this time while Seulgi and Minjae busy themselves with stuffing their mouth and act like they're not listening to the conversation.

"Don't tell me you don't think they're shagging—"

Hoseok cuts him off by throwing an empty cup at him, perfectly aimed at Taehyung's forehead. "Shut up, Tae." he scolds him, but grins nevertheless to ease the tension that his reaction might have caused.

Taehyung frowns, rubbing his forehead as if the empty cup could've really hurt him but he listens. He closes his mouth and starts to bicker with Jimin, when he gives him another lecture about alcohol and his low tolerance.

"This is healing," you fill the silence with your soft voice, eyes focused on the moon lightening above your heads.

Jungkook follows your vision, humming in response before he looks at the lake that sparkle with the same reflection of the moon. "It really is," he agrees, "It's cold though." he chuckles, hearing you doing the same.

"Yeah, I thought it'd be slightly warmer. I hope we won't be cold while sleeping in tents." you voice out your worries.

"We'll just have to wear a lot of clothes. But if you're gonna be too cold, just tell me. We can sleep in the car." he says, making you smile at his thoughtfulness.

"How are we gonna fit there?" you chuckle, not being able to imagine the two of you trying to fit in the back of his car, even though his current car is bigger than the one he used to have. Or you could just sleep in front, but you surely won't get any quality sleep there.

"Then I'll sleep in the tent and you can sleep in the car." he shrugs, your mouth pouting automatically at his words.

You'd feel awful and guilty for sure if that happened. Sure, Jungkook is a big boy and probably doesn't get cold that easily, compared to you, but still.

"Jungkook, no." you shake your head.

"Or, we could just cuddle and keep ourselves warm." he pokes you in the ribs, causing you to giggle as you slap his shoulder.

Or, that's an option too.

"How are you feeling?" you ask, nibbling on your bottom lip when you're met with silence and Jungkook's steps halting until he stops.

"What do you mean?" he asks, brows furrowed in confusion.

Stopping too, you walk closer to him and lean against one of the trees that are near the edge of the lake. "Kiko's here." you point out, causing him to chuckle while he hides his hands into the pockets of his cargo pants.

"I'm aware," he laughs lightly, and you do the same because it's nice to see him not depressing over her. "I really wanna enjoy this trip, but I can't help but notice how close she seems to be with Hoseok."

And then you see it. Frown settles on his lips at the mention of Hoseok. Of course, he noticed how close they were and probably still are at the fireplace.

"They're best friends, Kook. You don't think they're dating, do you?" you cock your head to the side, a breeze slightly ruffling your hair.

"No," he shakes his head, frowning once again. "I don't know, something feels shady. They're definitely hiding something, I just have no fucking idea what it is."

The memory of Jungkook telling you about the possible secret that Kiko's hiding crosses your mind, but you're just as clueless as Jungkook is right now. You don't know them that much, but Jungkook does.

"What could she possibly be hiding from you?" you think out loud, thinking about all the possible scenarios that could've happened.

"Whenever I see her looking at me, or even when we were talking at Jin's wedding... I could see how guilty she looked," he says, deeply in thought. "I know her so well, I just know there's something more to this and Hoseok basically confirming that at Jin's wedding just proves my suspicion."

"Well, either way, she's not gonna tell you and neither will Hoseok. How are you planning to find out?" you ask, growing confused.

There's nothing he can do. The only thing is to get your little plan to keep going and finish it before some damage will be done. Surprisingly, playing Jungkook's girlfriend isn't hard so far. The two of you have always been more touchy and comfortable around each other, so none of this feels uncomfortable or foreign to you or Jungkook. Obviously, it all faded away and even stopped when he started to date Kiko which you understand. It was out of respect to her, even though she probably never voiced jealousy. That's what kind of gentleman Jungkook is.

"The only thing I can think about, considering her weird and suspicious behavior, and the fact she seems so fucking guilty about something... what if she cheated on me?" he says quickly, his brain processing his own words while he seems to be stunned he finally voiced out his suspicion. It makes it more real and now that he said it out loud, it makes much more sense.

But even to you, it doesn't make much sense. "You think she'd cheat on you?" you ask confusingly, knowing how Jungkook swore that she's the least selfish person he ever met.

"Argh! I don't know!" he exclaims, covering his face into his huge hands as he groans into them.

Sadness overcomes your features and your body moves on its own, hugging Jungkook's muscular body while you cuddle your face into his chest. His hoodie smells just like him, his favorite fabric softener and that sweet, yet muscular scent he always holds. Sighing, he hugs you closer to him.

"I don't think she'd, but what am I supposed to think?" he asks, voice muffled by your hair as he kisses the top of your head.

"She loves you, Kook. I don't think she cheated on you." you tell him, but he just shakes his head.

"We don't know that." he disagrees, causing you to chuckle as you slightly pull away and look up at him.

Your noses are almost touching from the proximity between you two.

"We don't, but I can see the way she's looking at you. She's trying to be so nice to me," you let out a dry chuckle, causing Jungkook to do the same thing, however his one isn't dry but almost loving at the mention of his ex.

"That's her." he adds, and you fight the urge to roll your eyes.

"But I just see the sadness in her eyes. I might not know her that well, but even I can tell. She doesn't seem jealous..." you trail off, looking back into his dark orbs that shine underneath the moonlight.

"You'll tell me when this gets too much for you, right?" he asks, your brows furrowing in confusion as you stare at him.

"Of course, that's what we agreed on." you remind him, surprised he brought up that topic.

He nods, bringing his back to your face as he gently grabs it and starts caressing the apples of your cheeks. Your eyes flicker shut, enjoying how soft his hands feel against your skin and you happily hum, making him chuckle but not stopping him. Nudging your nose with his own, you whine at his hot breath fanning your face.

"Kiss me, Kook." you whisper, having this sudden need to feel those plushy lips again.

You haven't kissed since you came here, which is quite surprising because you thought you'd, at least as soon as you saw that Kiko's here too. But for some reason Jungkook never insinuated a kiss.

But he listens to you now, kissing you by quickly connecting your lips as he holds your face even tighter. It feels needy and it strokes your ego that he kisses you almost as if he missed your lips. Well, you certainly missed his ones. 

The moan slips out of your mouth as soon as the kiss gets rougher and he slowly backs you, until your back meets the tree again. His hands are everywhere, from gripping your hips to pulling up your leg and hooking it up over his hip to properly feel your thigh, all while he's still kissing you. Your own hands are occupied by nails digging into his hoodie before they trail down to his ass, giving him a squeeze. He smiles into the kiss, but still doesn't pull away. You're gasping for air, causing him to detach your lips but his own starts to work on your neck where he ducks your skin. You're moaning, head leaned against the tree while the wood is too harsh and uncomfortable, but you don't dare to move. Excitement overtakes you're whole body and with your leg that he's still gripping tightly, hooked over Jungkook's hip, you grind onto him. He groans, grinding back where you can feel his bulge. Through the countless amount of layers, you can't feel him the way your body craves to, but it's still enough to make you clench around nothing as you feel yourself getting aroused.

You grind against each other, desperately trying to get ahold of that pleasure and lust that clouds your minds and bodies, but the clothing you're both wearing and position makes it hard. It's not enough, unless the two of you would undress which isn't such a smart idea considering the weather. As if Jungkook thinks the same thing, he stops grinding against you and rests his head on your shoulder while his chest heaves with quick breaths. You're no different, long and loud breaths leave your mouth as you wrap your arms around his frame. Slowly, he lets go of your leg and steadies himself more before he fully straightens himself and grins at you.

"That's not what I was expecting when I asked you for a walk," he jokes, a loud snort coming out of your mouth as you shake your head at him.

It's always like that. You never planned for this to happen, it always just does. Naturally, and you like that because it doesn't feel forced.

"I wasn't expecting it too, but I'm not complaining." you grin, hands brushing through his fringe that got too long and keeps falling into his eyes.

"Trust me," he says, grin disappearing as a darkened look overtakes his already doe and dark eyes. He hovers over you, teeth nibbling on your ear before his mouth brushes your earlobe. "I'd fuck you here, if it weren't this cold."

Your breath hitches in your throat and you restrain yourself from reacting audibly, knowing he'll love that and tease the shit out of you later. You can't believe he just said that. Would he really do that?

"I wouldn't let you," you mutter, mustering a serious and tough expression where you raise your brow and purse your lips to prove your point. "Someone might've seen us." you reason, but the only thing he gives you in return is a loud laugh that makes you shush him straight away, a huge grin spreading on your lips.

"Who? There's nobody here." he says, outstretching his arms like he's the one who's proving his point.

"You don't know that, it's too dark to tell." you shrug, giving his chest a good slap when he smirks at you.

"Exactly, it wouldn't be too hard to tell if we're fucking or not."

"Oh my god!" you exclaim, hearing him cackling. "Just shut up, Jeon." you shake your head at him, hiding that huge grin again from him by walking past him and getting some safe distance from his dangerous and irresistible self.

"Oh, am I Jeon now? Thought I was Kook."

You hear him teasing you, before he jogs over to you and places his arm over your shoulders as he pushes you closer to his chest. You don't protest, not when he's incredibly warm and comfortable at the same time.

"Thank God, you're not my real boyfriend. I couldn't stand you." you grumble, teasing him as you poke his hip before you wrap your arm around his frame, holding him.

"Ah, you wish. I'd be the best boyfriend." he shoots back, making the two of you burst in laughter as you keep bickering and teasing each other for the rest of the walk back.

It just reminds you that nothing has changed. Well, apart from you get to kiss him— amongst the other stuff — now.

When you get back, you give Jungkook a last nudge to his shoulder before you detach yourself from his hip, looking at your friends. Taehyung wiggles his brows, cheeks flushed even in the darkness and you don't have to guess what caused it, considering the stupid amused grin he always has whenever he drinks too much alcohol. You're not the only one who notices it, Jimin tells him something but his best friend just shushes him and waves a hand in front of his face, telling him to shut up.

"You guys done?" he asks, wiggling his brows while staring at you before his eyes averts to Jungkook.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Jungkook asks, confused, reaching for some dried seaweed as he munches on it.

"Ignore him, he's had enough." Jimin speaks up before Taehyung can open his mouth, frowning at his best friend's interruption.

"Where's everyone?" you ask, changing the topic since you've got an idea what Taehyung was aiming at. Whatever it could be, it's not something that should be said in front of Kiko, or anyone at this point.

The seats where Hoseok, Seulgi, Minjae and Namjoon were sitting are empty, and now that you pointed out their absence, Jungkook seems to notice their missing too as he starts looking around.

"They went to sleep," Kiko answers, cuddling herself to some fluffy blanket as she glances at you before she focuses on the flames instead. "I think I'm going too. Tomorrow is gonna be a long day." she says, letting out a chuckle but it seems forced and tired.

She stands up, still wrapped in the purple blanket as she bids everyone a goodnight before she goes into her tent, joining Seulgi and Minjae.

"Is she okay?" Jungkook whispers, glancing at Jimin who gives him a saddened gaze before he shrugs.

"She seems a little bit off, but I think it's just awkward for her to be here with you guys." Jimin explains, his voice silenced so everyone sleeping in the tents nearby can't hear you. He gives you an apologetic look which you just shrug off, knowing he's only telling the truth.

"She knew we were coming here, I suppose." you mutter, ignoring Jungkook's side glance before he sighs and grabs you by your shoulders.

"Well, we're going to sleep too. You guys, don't set anything on fire." he tells them, Taehyung already spacing out but still protests whenever Jimin tells him to go sleep.

It's clear Jimin doesn't want to leave him alone, something that wouldn't be a good idea in Taehyung's state. It's funny and cute how they remind you of your friendship with Jungkook. They have each other's back all the time.

"We'll try to," Jimin chuckles, patting Taehyung's head as he cuddles to Jimin's side. "Goodnight."

Approximately twenty minutes later, when you bid goodbye to Jimin and Taehyung, you and Jungkook are happily nestled in your sleeping bags. With a few layers of blankets that Jungkook brought underneath your bodies, it's softer than you expected it to be and you find it comfortable. The only thing that bothers you is the chilly air that makes you toss around as you're trying to keep yourself warm.

"Come here." Jungkook sighs, his own sleeping bag rustling as he pulls out his arms to pull you closer.

"What are you doing?" you mutter, silently humming as soon as you feel his warm chest pressed against your back. You're definitely warmer now.

"Cuddling you, obviously." he snorts, nuzzling his nose into your neck causing you to let out a silenced giggle.

With his large hoodie already on, the very one he brought you from his car as soon as you started to complain about the weather and being cold, you allow yourself to relax. However, Jungkook doesn't stop there and he starts kissing your neck, leaving soft and innocent pecks that make you bite your lip. You don't move, allowing him to kiss you some more while he rubs your body which is difficult to feel, since you're wrapped in your sleeping bag. Unzipping your sleeping bag, you ignore your body protesting by shivering from the temperature in your tent.

"You're gonna be cold." Jungkook murmurs against your neck, his silenced and raspy voice causing you to shiver again. Not from the cold this time.

"You'll warm me up." you tease, turning to your side so you can be closer to him.

He welcomes your hands on his chest as they get underneath his hoodie, feeling his hot and naked skin there. How can he be so warm when you're close to freezing? His toned abs are hard to miss and you wish you could just take his hoodie off, and see the piece of art. You've never been totally mesmerized by abs and muscular bodies, although it's a nice thing to look at. But everything changes when it comes to Jungkook. He's perfect, an amazing piece of man that makes every woman's heart flutter.

"You bet." he teases back, causing you to giggle as he pulls you closer, kissing you this time.

Your lips mold together, the feeling already familiar but never boring. It's something you could never get enough of, especially when he's so good at it. Two minutes of constant kissing and innocent touches, his own hands disappear underneath all the layers of your clothing when he finally finds your skin. Even the littlest touch of his fingertips make your body heat up, and you completely forget about the cold. He spends a few minutes just rubbing your stomach, his touch leaving soft and tingling sensation all over your body, before he hooks them under the hem of your sweatpants. Detaching your lips, you breathe out a shaky breath as you glance at Jungkook.

He's staring at you, dark eyes boring into yours while his hands disappear into your panties.

"Kook," you breathe out, "Guys are here."

And Seulgi, Minjae and Kiko too.

"They're all sleeping," he says, finger circling your clit as you bite into your lower lip to prevent yourself from moaning. "I checked when I went to take a piss."

Snorting, you let out a chuckle of disbelief. "Wow, that's so hot. Thank you." you tell him sarcastically, your words dying down when he starts to part your folds and slips one finger in.

"I'm honest," he tells you lightly, shrugging as if he's not fingering you right now. He pumps his finger, nuzzling his face to your neck as he starts sucking your skin there. "You love when I'm honest."

"Mhm," you moan, back slightly arching when his finger rubs against your sensitive spot.

"You love when I do this," he purrs against your skin, adding another finger as he curls them inside your tight hole that makes you whimper.

Goosebumps appear all over your body, your hips slowly grinding against his palm as he keeps pumping his fingers in and out. The sound of your wetness is muffled by your clothes, but it's still clear to your ears. It should be embarrassing how wet and hot you became just for him. Yes, the little make out that happened on your walk helped, but you both know it doesn't take a long for him to make you crave for his touch, pleading him for more.

"I do," you let out a choked moan, eyes rolling back when he adds another finger, penetrating your heat even more.

Your walls are wrapped around his fingers, swallowing them in with so much eagerness that makes Jungkook proud.

"You're so needy," he growls, grazing his teeth against your jaw before he kisses it. Your hands clutch onto your sleeping bag desperately, all while he lets out a dark chuckle. "So needy for my touch, for me."

You should be embarrassed because he's right. You tend to act tough, not necessarily in these kinds of scenarios, but still. Even Jungkook knows that and whenever he can stomp on the confidence and tease you, he takes the chance and does it. However, you don't feel an ounce of embarrassment. Agreeing with him, you nod and purr at the same time, body desperately meeting his hands as he picks up the pace.

"I am," you agree, voice strained as you try to control yourself. It feels good, so fucking good, but you don't want to cum just yet. You want to enjoy this for as long as it's possible.

"Oh, baby. You know all you gotta do is tell me and I'll give you everything you want," Jungkook feigns sorrow, knowing those words drive you crazy. He feels you clenching around him, your moans silenced by you biting a lower lip, and that's all he needs to be smirking. "I'd have fuck you against that tree, if you weren't scared someone might see." he whispers darkly into your ear, biting onto your earlobe.

It all happens quick, too quick for you to control it or cherish the way pleasure shoots through your whole body, while you're cumming. Your moans in the form of Jungkook's name are silenced by his mouth enveloping yours. As much as he wants to hear you, his name leaving your mouth repeatedly, he can't let anyone else hear you.

He fucks you through your orgasm, stopping when he hears you whimper from overstimulation. Pulling out his fingers, he puts them into his mouth and makes sure you're watching him when he does that. Your heat throbs, both at the sight and the euphoric feeling of your orgasm, yet you don't have enough. Especially not when you see him licking his fingers clean before he kisses you, letting you taste yourself on his tongue and lips. He growls, hovering over you while his tongue attacks the inside of your mouth. Your tongues dance together, moving swiftly like it's the easiest thing to do. Hands disappearing under his hoodie, you let yourself feel his naked back moving forward to his abs.

He can't help it, you're too irresistible even if it's in a freaking tent and in the middle of mountains with his friends sleeping nearby. Maybe even that small fact makes him go feral, grinding his crotch against you. Getting out of your sleeping bag has never been easier, your hands busy trying to take off Jungkook's sweatpants while he takes off his hoodie, along with his shirt.

"Fuck, I need you." he says, before he kisses you again and helps you to take off your shirt. He's met with your exposed breasts, licking his bottom lip at your puckered nipples which he wraps his mouth around.

The sensation is amazing, his warm mouth warming your whole body all over again and just like that, you feel that same need to fill your pleasure needs. Jungkook's movements are eager, so eager that he tosses his sweatpants rather carelessly causing the piece of clothing to bump into the tent's walls. The tent shakes, causing you to giggle as he shushes you by his lips, chuckling into the kiss. He helps you to undress, making sure he heats up your body with his feverish kisses and constant rubbing of your exposed skin.

"Fuck me, Kook." you plead, nails grazing his exposed and muscular back he's flexing while he's hovering over you.

"Oh, I will," he promises, leaning down to kiss your collarbones as he makes up your neck and jaw. "But you need to be quiet, yeah?"

His voice is low, sending another set of shivers down your spine as you gulp, pressing your thighs together.

"I thought everyone's sleeping." you mutter, teasing him with eyes but you don't show it on your face, too focused on him to even lift the corner of your mouth in a smirk.

"They are," he nods, hands disappearing between your bodies as he spreads your legs and cups your heat which is still wet with your cum and another arousal. You're soaking wet, you can feel it slowly trailing down your ass and staining the unzipped sleeping bag underneath you. "But we don't wanna wake them up." he smirks, his eyes dancing in amusement almost as he's teasing you for being loud.

Oh, he certainly is. As soon as realization hits your face, he smirks even more while pulling away. Your eyes drop to his covered crotch, noticing an evident bulge that's growing with each passing minute. Unfortunately, your sight is dismissed when Jungkook starts to rummage through his bag that he put in the corner of your tent. He pulls out his wallet before he successfully gets the condom. When he turns around and meets your gaze, he sees your raised brow.

"You brought condoms?" you question, wondering if he planned on having sex here.

You sure didn't, not that you're complaining. But you're curious and you love to tease him whenever you get the chance. His doe eyes that were darkened just a few moments ago are completely switched to a wide eyed Jungkook, making look so innocent and young that it makes your heart jump.

"Well, not purposely. I always have them in my wallet." he explains, voice sounding soft all of a sudden.

His lips are set into a slight pout as he stares at you, looking wary for some reason. Little do you know it's because of the exact thing you're teasing him about. He worries that he just planned on having sex, even though there wouldn't be anything wrong with that. You both agreed on this, you two fucking. But still, it doesn't sit well with him knowing you might think he planned this. You're a beautiful woman, it doesn't take long for him to resist you. But you're his best friend before you're someone who he has sex with. He really wanted this trip to be about adventure and great memories, and he kind of let it go naturally. Whatever feels comfortable for you and everyone else. He definitely didn't expect Kiko to show up here, even though this exact topic occurred his night thoughts that made him wide awake for the most of the night.

"It's okay, Kook," you giggle, sitting up as you reach for him. "I'm just teasing you." you assure him, seeing his tensed muscles relax before he scoffs.

"Screw you." he murmurs, grinning as he opens the wrapper by opening it with his teeth while his other hand is too busy pulling his length out.

Taking off his boxers, your mouth salivate wishing you could see him instead of being met with his outline. Judging by the way his hands move and body rustles against the blankets, you know he's giving himself a few pumps before he puts the condom on.

"You're about to." you fill the silence, smirk audible in your voice as he chuckles and gets closer to you.

Adjusting your positions, so he's nestled between your legs, he gives you a kiss and lets his mouth stay on yours while he slowly fills you up. You know it's his way of shushing you, knowing you'd most likely whimper at the sudden stretch of his hardened length. The both of you are trying not to get caught after all. When he's all in, he detaches your lips as he leans his forehead against yours waiting for your signal. As soon as he registers the small nod and little 'go on', he pulls out slowly before he smashes in his way back. With each thrust he makes, the harder it gets to control your moans and even though you've never been that awfully loud, no matter how many times Jungkook teases you about it.

Your legs starts to hurt from the missionary position and with a quick squeeze of his bicep, Jungkook slows down and questionably tilts his head. Without saying a word, your palms sprawl against his chest as you push him while sitting up. He gets the message, laying down immediately while he slips out of you in the process. Hovering over him, you let your legs to rest against his side while you grab his length. Pumping him, you wish you could see that lustful glint in his eyes and the vulnerability that he doesn't show that often:

"Baby," he moans, hands gripping your hips.

Chuckling, you position him against your entrance before you sink down onto him, your eyes rolling back at the pleasure and stretch.

"Fuck, so tight." he groans, nails digging into your skin the entire time he fills you up. He doesn't stop even when you start to ride him, setting up a slower pace that makes less sounds. Nevertheless, the sound of your thighs meeting Jungkook's can't be manageable and it's clear to your ears.

With Jungkook's help, he starts to roll his hips into yours as he meets your thrusts, sending another wave of pleasure through your body with different intensity. It feels amazing, his length so deep inside of you, all while he keeps hitting your g-spot. Slowing down, you circle your hips as you kiss him. You really want to savor every minute and feeling he makes you feel, you don't want to cum just yet. Jungkook is in no rush, kissing you back slowly as he lets you take control. He lays there, enjoying the way you move your hips. After kissing for a few minutes, you start to pick up your pace which becomes tougher, considering how long you've been in this position. Your thighs already ache from the stretch, but thanks to Jungkook who notices your struggle, he starts to meet your thrusts like he's done before.

Everything is slow, yet sensual and intense. It makes your head spin and your heart swell with foreign and wonderful feeling. You can't go all wild, knowing there's everyone just a few meters away from you while you're surrounded in complete silence. But even without this little fact, it still feels right. Maybe it's because you're both lazy and sleepy, just wanting to enjoy the pleasure and something different. If you knew better, you'd say this is how making love feels like.

You almost slap yourself at that, knowing you're nowhere emotionally near that. But it feels nice to have him this close, it's different from the sex you had before.

Considering you've had an orgasm and your walls are still sensitive, you feel yourself tightening as your arms fail you and you fall onto Jungkook's chest. He takes over, still laying underneath you as he grabs your hips and starts to pick up the pace. Even from his submissive position, you may say, he's able to take control and hit all the right spots within your walls. Hands gripping your ass, he spreads your ass cheeks while his nails dig into your skin again. It's the first time tonight when it feels, what can be considered, as a rough move.

"Kook," you whimper, mouth pressed against his shoulder with eyes screwed shut, as you feel another orgasm approaching you.

"Shhh," he reminds you, letting out a grunt when he sets an almost animalistic pace. His balls smack against your ass, the sound already too loud to be heard outside, but you don't stop.

Pleasure washes you all over again, your mouth ready to leave the loudest moan as your whole body shakes. What you do comes naturally, in the desperation to silence your moans, and you gently bite onto Jungkook's shoulder while he keeps fucking you.

He grunts, your teeth digging into his skin although, it's nothing unbearable or too painful, but it shocks him. Few more pumps and he's coming into the condom with a silenced growl. His thrusts get sloppier with each second, before he completely stops and his length starts to twitch. You wish you could feel him cumming inside of you, despite the littlest feeling of him filling the condom, it's nothing too recognizable. When he's done, he sighs and drops his head down while he hugs you closer to him. His arms leave your ass and they wrap around your frame, gripping you tightly making you giggle.

"Fuck, that was amazing." you comment, pecking his shoulder where you bit him. It's too dark to see if there's any mark, but you hope not. You made sure you weren't biting him too hard.

"Yeah," he breathes, chest heaving with harsh breaths while his length starts to soften. "That was... different." he chuckles, hands gently caressing your back that makes you hum.

"I could fall asleep like this." you murmur against his neck, cuddling to him even more.

A soft chuckle leaves his mouth, his hand gently slapping your ass. "No, you can't sleep now. You gotta pee and put some clothes on, you're gonna get cold like this."

He's right, now that your lust has been fulfilled, you can already feel the real temperature in the tent. Your skin is no longer hot and that same rush of heat that came with each moment of pleasure is gone. Even though your body still tingles from the intense orgasm, it's just not enough to keep you warm anymore.

"Nooo," you whine, cuddling to him even more while your perked nipples rub against his chest. He bites his lower lip, cringing when his length slips out of you and you whine again. "Can't you just cover our bodies?"

You try, knowing you're just teasing him and you'll be shivering any minute. Jungkook groans at your stubbornness and you smile.

"No, now come on. Go pee." he slaps your ass again, making you jerk as you pull yourself up and stare at him.

"What if something's out there?" you ask, simply out of curiosity and maybe out of fear as well.

"I'm going with you, big baby," he grins, rolling his eyes at you that you can't see. He's sitting up, hoisting your bodies in the process. "But we need to put some clothes on."

Sighing, you put your clothes back on, cringing when your juices meet the material of your panties. Regardless of that, you fully dress yourself and let out a hum of content when you're warm again. Jungkook does the same thing, disposing himself of the condom full of his cum as he makes sure he'll throw it somewhere safe. You're both stumbling out of your tent, seeing there's no one awake and there's complete darkness around you. Good.

But still, when Jungkook lights up the flashlight on his phone, you're both grinning at yourselves and you just know, you're going to be sleeping heavenly tonight.

[spideyhexx]

all of my ideas tonight include stitching up wounds after fights. so now im just thinking about taking care of billy after a fight. and you’re speaking to him in such a soft, soothing voice. and you two keep making eye contact. and after you’re done stitching up a cut on his temple he just mumbles a small “thank you, darlin’” and OHHHHHHHH…….. THE ROMANTIC TENSION IM CRUMBLING

I LOVE IT (and you, hugs) I AM ALSO gonna write this for my saccharine series CAUSE I HAVE TO

for more, saccharine

fyi, you don’t need to read the other parts of this series to enjoy this🫶

fem!reader

Billy comes into the camp his gang had set up for the next few weeks, stumbling, his nose bloodied, his knuckles red, the cut on his temple making him wince.

His eyes are squinting, and he almost rubs his bloody hands into his eyes, but he stops himself. No one seems to be awake until his eyes lock with you.

Once all the men were asleep, you took the opportunity to bathe in your lonesome. It was nice and relaxing to finally scrub some of the grime from your skin and the sweat from the day. Your head felt heavy with sleep already. You were walking to your little tent when you locked eyes with Billy.

Your heart drops at the sight of him, and a burst of energy flows through you as you drop your dirty clothes and run over to him.

"Bonney, what did you do? What happened?! You're bleedin' still, what did you-"

"Sweetheart," he stops you from talking, his voice low, gravelly almost. You forgo the blush that rushes to your cheeks when he uses that name. He usually only did when he was mocking you or playing your game back at you, but now his eyes looked dazed, out of it. You nod your head a few times, almost like you can't stop it.

"Okay, okay, uh, c'mon," and you take his arm, dragging him more into the camp and sitting him down on the log near the burnt-out firewood.

He sits down with a grunt, his mouth parting to say something to you, but you're running off before he can even speak. Billy sighs at it, shaking his head, but all it does is make him wince in pain again.

You come back with some supplies, your canteen falling out of your arms to his feet, but luckily not spilling the water as you rush.

"Easy, sweetheart," he says, his voice is so soft, it's unnatural to you, but you can't even take the time to appreciate it. Billy is both annoyed and thankful you're up. Annoyed because of course it's you that is still awake. Thankful because he knows you care. And care enough.

Despite his words, it's hard for you to slow down. You clean his hands first, at least the knuckles, kneeling on the ground in front of him, your brow furrowing at the sight of them. "These are gonna bruise a lot," you mumble more to yourself than him, but he still replies.

"'M aware." You glance up at him, and Billy's eyes look blank, tired. Your own soften and as you clean the remainder of his hands, you try to be gentler, dipping your rag into the water and cleaning the blood.

He keeps still, but his fingers twitch when you get to one of his fingers. Once you finish cleaning it, on instinct, you lean down and kiss his knuckle, your lips more ghosting over his skin than a firmer kiss. Billy's breath hitches slightly, but he doesn't comment on it, almost too stunned that you actually kissed him. Kissed a part of him.

"There, those are all clean," you say, mustering up a smile as you grab a new rag and start cleaning the blood on his face. His eyes bore into you and it makes your heart stop.

"You have an eye contact problem," you murmur, your face inching closer to his, but only to clean his nose better. Only for that reason.

"Thank you, sweetheart," he says, his voice dripping in sarcasm and it quirks your lips up a little. You will yourself to look into his eyes, the same dazed look present in his.

"What happened?" You don't want to pester him about how he ended up like this, though your impulsivity tells you to. So you promise yourself that you'll only ask him this one time. Deep down, you felt as though you knew his answer would be vague, or he'd stay silent, so you prepared for it, to accept it and move on.

"Bar fight. This guy was pickin' on me. He started it," Billy replies after a moment, and he takes a deep breath. You feel his jaw clench slightly as your cleaning continues, but you still. He actually answered your question.

"Somethin' wrong?" He searches your eyes, your expressions are always pretty easy to read, but he doesn't have the full capacity to ponder right now.

"No," you tell him, taking a deep breath of your own before continuing. You're almost done, but you can't seem to take your eyes off of his. You've never had to tend to him like this before. You've thought about it, those times after hearing how he got a bloody nose or a nasty cut, but never did you think it would happen. Or that Billy would let you. Maybe he was softening up on you. Or maybe he doesn't care, he just needed help. You'll overthink it later before bed.

When you're done, you're about to stand when he grabs onto your wrist, turning his head slightly and you see the cut on his temple.

"Billy....shit," you say, moving to inspect the cut, holding his head in your hands and he feels his cheeks warm. He prays you don't notice.

You do. You rifle through your bag and sit with him, cleaning the cut the best you can before you attempt to stitch it. He winces, his hand jutting and grabbing your knee, making you both still.

"Sorry," he mumbles, retracting his hand and you shake your head.

"Squeeze it if you need to. 'M a strong girl." You get a slight, breathy chuckle out of him. It satisfies most of your nerves as his hand returns to your knee. You work again, stitching his cut and he sucks in a breath, "'s okay, you're doin' good, Billy."

His heart wants to twist and turn at the sound of your voice, so soft, so soothing. "Almost done, then you can go rest," you coo at him, his hand squeezing your knee tighter. He swallows hard, breathing through as you finish, giving him your smile.

He doesn't return it, but instead looks at you, piercing his gaze into your eyes without really meaning to. Your smile starts to drop a little at how intense his look is, your hands settling into your lap. Your mouth parts to speak, but you stop when he pats your knee.

"Thank you, darlin'," he breathes out, his gratitude different from the sarcasm he used earlier. His eyes almost looked teary in the moonlight but there was no way in hell you would mention it.

"Any time," you whisper, hesitantly putting your hand over his, patting the top of his hand. You've never felt this genuine with Billy and you longed for it to last. But you find yourself nervous, too anxious to move closer to him even though your body is aching for it. You swear that you see his eyes flit to your lips, but you determine it was your imagination. Your dreams getting in the way of reality.

Billy doesn't know how to handle himself either, but he knows that he likes his hand on your knee. That he likes your hand on his. Not that he'd say that.

When his head shifts in the slightest of movements, your senses kick back in and you take your hand away from his.

"You know, you're real dumb for gettin' in a fight while all alone? Or gettin' in a fight at all," you jab at him, resorting to your teasing to cover up the sensitivity of what occurred.

He rolls his eyes, but his stomach is fluttering from how quickly you jump to this side of yourself. "You're one to talk, sweetheart, didn't you fight that-"

"Don't turn this on me, Bonney, at least I walked away unscathed," you interrupt him and he turns more to face you.

"No, you didn't. You had that cut on your lip," he argues back, but a slight smile makes its way to his lips.

"No, I didn't." He was right, and you had forgotten in the moment that you did get hurt a little, but you didn't feel like giving in to him.

"Yes, you did, sweetheart. You were complainin' about it. For days," he counters, glancing down at his knuckles, before returning his gaze to you. To your lips. But only for a second.

The eye-roll and scoff you give him before you speak makes him smirk a little more, and he knows he won't be resting just yet.

[mattypattypinky]

Hi, could I maybe request some romantic head cannons with Anxiety, about if the reader got sick?

I'm actually fighting rlly bad allergies rn, so I'm gonna tackle this one bc it seems fun and relatable a bit <33

Anxiety X A Sickly Reader

Anxiety would want nothing more than for you to feel better when you're sick. If she found out you were sick, she'd be very scared that something bad could happen to you, or that it could be a contagious sickness... I feel as though her anxiety would get to her, and she would take matters into her own hands.

She doesn't mean to be condescending or off putting, or embarrass you, but she means this in the nicest way when she tells you to get away from the panel, and tells you to stay in a specific area, or circle. She'd wear a hospital mask and gloves around you until further notice, and would wash her hands plenty more each interaction, as to ensure she doesn't get sick, or spread your germs to the other emotions.

She'd be very paranoid of it spreading... But, that wouldn't stop her from wanting to take care of you. I feel like she'd let you sit in her chair, maybe move it away from the others to lessen the risk of germs spreading, but she lets you use it.

She can always deep clean the chair later for germs, but now, your comfort is what's important to her...

She would bring you warm tea, or some sort of warm drink for your scratchy, or sore throat, and supply you with a nice, large roll of toilet paper or a tissue box so that you have something to blow your nose with... She'd give you the most comfortable type, too. Soft on your nose, so it lessens irritation.

She'd worry her head off about you, and search for what your sickness could be. She may misdiagnose you with something scary or terrible out of her anxious tendency to jump to conclusions about what could happen...

She'd let the chair massage you, if you had a sore body, she'd even offer to rub your shoulders, or back, herself. Though, I feel she'd be far too anxious too do it at first, since she is not a professional... What if she makes it worse???

She'd supply you with tons of hydration, such as giving you a pack of bottled waters along with your tea, just incase. She would insist you drink them at least a little bit. It is very important to hydrate when sick...

You know what else is important when you're sick? Rest.

She would give you a weighted blanket, and a soft pillow - And set up something to relax you, like some soft music, or your favorite movie with a phone. If you're in another room entirely, she'd dim the lights so you can rest, and she would be willing to turn on the bedtime mode and night light on the phone, so your eyes don't strain, and it's less sore on your head.

I feel like she'd have headache medication on the ready. I just think she has migraines a lot, with all that stress she carries. If you told her you had one, she would offer you up some medication from her pocket, or one of her suitcases.

If you felt dizzy, she'd be a little unsure of what to do to make you feel better. She might dim the lights, and make sure nothing was moving or you weren't actively roaming about, out of fear it would make you more dizzy, or you'd faint.

She would check your pulse, paranoid like, if you felt faint. She would also highly suggest you eat something, as it might help!

If you were too tired to sit up and do something to help yourself, she would offer to do it for you. Do you need someone to blow your nose for you because you can't muster the energy to hold the tissue? She's got you. Need someone to make you soup? She'll certainly try. Need the AC turned up / down? She'll be temperature-control.

She'd anxiously watch you sleep, to make sure you're okay in your sleep...

If you were so sick you were delirious, emotional, or dizzy, she would try to help you calm down and focus on something simple to ground you, and make you feel like you have a small ounce of control in the moment.

She would scold, or judge someone who judges you. If disgust says your sneezes are 'disgusting!! ew, ew, ew!' - She'll defend you with her life. I fear she might even say that she likes your sneezes, and then immediately backtrack, apologetic and convincing that she didn't mean it in a weird way.

If you were nauseous, or puking - she would bring you a bucket, and she would be the type of girlfriend to hold your shoulder while you do so.

She'd be insistent on nursing you back to health. She wants too. She wants to monitor all your symptoms, how long they take to recover, and if your recovery is going smoothly... But regardless of it all, she's just worried about you.

She wants you to be okay.

[traumaboyexo]

CARRION!Sif Anti/Alt Friend quest

[[This is for a set of alternate friend quests that each trigger from each family member watching Siffrin have a small emotional breakdown, as well as...seeing something else.]]

(You're shaking.)

(...why? This isn't the first time you've done this...and yet...)

(You can barely feel your hunger right now. Just fear. You don't want to hurt them. You don't want to hurt any of them.)

(...everything is wrong. You shouldn't be doing this. You're not...even...)

"Siffrin?"

(You jump. Mirabelle's voice shakes you out of your trance.)

"Sorry, Mirabelle."

"I-it's alright, I know you can get a little sleepy sometimes. So, um, do you have time to help me with these papers?"

(...you have to make her happy.)

(Stop shaking, idiot.)

"...yeah I do."

(Mirabelle beams. You take your seat beside her.)

(Time to take the lead.)

(...you open your mouth.)

(...Huh?)

(Nothing is coming out.)

(Come on. You know you're next line.)

(Just ask. You have to. Ask what the papers are.)

(Why won't you say anything?! You've done this several times already, haven't you? Just say it! Don't have want to make her happy?! Don't you want them to love you?! You-!)

"...Siffrin, are you okay?"

(...you didn't even notice until now, but you're panting. You feel short on breath...and you're sweating badly.)

(You quickly bring your head down.)

(You can feel Mirabelle still staring at you intensely. You can barely look back at you. You can't make her worried. You're supposed to help her. You HAVE to help her. Stick to the script. Stick to the script. Stick to the...)

(...Mirabelle places a hand on your forehead...she's checking for a fever.)

"Okay, it's not a fever, s-so...uhm..."

"...Siffrin, c-could you look at me, please?"

(...you muster what energy you have left and look at her.)

"Siffrin, are you stressed or anxious about anything? O-oh! Was it me, d-did I accidentally make you anxious about these papers and-!"

(NO!)

(Can't make her worried about you!)

(You find your voice has returned.)

"No! It's not you...and I'm just..."

"I'm just...thinking about stuff, haha."

(...is she buying it?)

"...are you thinking about...something really bad?"

(...she did, kind of.)

(She can't know. She can't.)

"...we should talk about your papers."

"I had a suspicion...but they're...bonding papers, right?"

"O-oh! That's...actually a good guess?"

(She isn't as surprised as she usually is.)

"But Siffrin...I don't want to talk about that if... if something is going on with you."

(There's nothing wrong with you.)

"There's nothing wrong with me."

(Liar.)

(You ignore the growling in your stomach.)

(You ignore the uncomfortable feeling of your sweat dripping down your face.)

"...I think this is important for you. We can worry about me later."

(Mirabelle looks concerned.)

"Well, okay then..."

"Well, I-I'm not planning on getting bonded just yet, these are just dating profiles."

(You try to look surprised but your face feels numb.)

"They came from a dating company I asked before The King happened, and I haven't had a chance to properly look through them...and..."

(...you wish she'd stop looking at you so worriedly.)

(...you have to keep it moving.)

"Go on."

(She nods.)

"W-well, since it is someone I'm meant to spend the rest of my life with, I'm thinking I could use another pair of eyes. Your eyes!"

"Or rather, your...uh...one eye."

(She sighs, and only now you notice it seems like she's trying her best not to cry.)

(You're horrible.)

"...Siffrin...I-I don't think I can just-"

(Please.)

"Mirabelle. Please."

"...you're doing this as a distraction from tommorow, right?"

(You can barely hold back your shaking anymore.)

"Please. I need this distraction as well."

"...Let me help you."

(...there's some slight relief in her eyes, but still full of the same concern.)

"...alright Siffrin."

(She gives a small smile.)

"You can help me."

(She pulls out the massive folder of papers from her dress pocket.)

(...Maybe if she told you she was carrying this, you could have carried it for her.)

"O-okay, let's start with this."

(It's the picture of that strong buff man.)

(Tough muscles. Hard to chew probably.)

"...boring."

"Besides, they look like Isabeau."

(She gives a light snicker.)

"They kind of do. Next one-"

(You can't do this. You can't do this you can't do this you can't do this you can't you can't you can't you can't.)

"I'm sorry Mirabelle. I can't talk about this anymore."

(Your breathing is heavy and hard. Your sweating is getting worse. And your stomach won't stop growling.)

"...I...I'm sorry."

(You can't look at her. You can barely focus on anything. It feels like you could explode any second.)

"...I'm worried that...I'm..."

(If you say how you feel, will she hate you?)

(Even so, you can't stop yourself anymore. It feels like the exact opposite of before. All the words are spilling out. You hold back as much as you can. You try your best not to cry. You try your best not to scream or shout.)

(You feel horrible.)

(You feel hungry.)

"...I won't ever be bonded. I won't ever find a partner. I-I'm, I'm a freak. I'm a monster. I'm not worth a single notice. I'm...I can't..."

(It seems like everything is going dark.)

(You can't stop. Your stomach growls.)

"I can't be loved, no matter how many profiles I look through myself and I can't help myself and I'm always hungry and I..."

(...you try to continue but you can barely feel your own voice or mouth of face.)

(Everything feels so...out...of reach...)

(...)

(...you hear a sharp gasp from Mirabelle.)

(You feel everything snap back into view.)

(You're breathing eased up. You've stopped sweating.)

(...what happened?)

"...Siffrin?"

(Slowly, you turn to Mirabelle.)

(...)

(...you made her worried.)

(How could you do this to her.)

(You were supposed to help her.)

(...)

(You're stomach growls. You're hungry...at a time like this.)

(You really are a freak.)

(...you bury your face under your hat.)

(You can't even look at her properly.)

(You...)

(...someone puts a hand on your shoulder.)

(MIRABELLE puts a hand on your shoulder.)

(Even as you look away, you can hear her voice. She's not being afraid. Or angry.)

(She's being kind.)

"Siffrin..."

"...I have something to tell you too."

"The truth is...I don't really want to be bonded. Or...even date anyone at all."

(You already know this.)

"The truth is...I'm been scared too. I've been trying to force myself to change...and I've been worried I'm not strong enough to do it."

(You already know this.)

"And I'm worried that I'm supposed to do these things, because I have to show my faith, and I have to show...I have to show that I can do this."

(You already know this.)

"But...another reason is because...I'm worried. I'm worried that...it's possible I'll be alone, forever."

(...)

"When The King attacked, I was worried I lost all my friends. Everyone I thought I could ever count on...but...I was wrong."

(...)

(You slowly look up at her.)

(She's smiling. She's relieved you're finally looking at her again.)

"Siffrin. I don't know what happened to you. Or why you would think like that...but..."

"...I'm not worried about being alone. I've got you, and Isabeau, and Madame Odile, and Bonnie."

"And...I'm glad I can talk about these things with you. Because you're my friend. And I care about you. And I know you feel the same way."

(...you do.)

"So don't ever feel like you'll be alone when we're around, okay?"

(...you stay silent. You can barely find the words.)

(This time she shouts.)

"Promise me!"

(Woah!) "I promise!"

(She's smiling so widely it's nearly contagious.)

"Good! A-and if you're worried whether you wasted my time or anything dumb like that, I think you've helped me."

"I think...I don't have all the answers I need just yet. But I think...I may not need to change everything about myself."

(Clever. She's always been clever.)

"When I figure it out, I promise, I'll tell you about it."

(...you should say what's on your mind.)

"I'm glad I met you, Mirabelle."

"...me too, Siffrin."

"...I'll see you later, okay?"

(You nod and smile.)

(You're really smiling. You feel refreshed. You feel relieved.)

(...and yet, as she walks away, she looks back and glances at you for just a brief second.)

(She's nervous about something.)

(...but what?)

(...you can feel it again.)

(Your growing hunger.)

(You got a MEMORY OF UNCERTAINTY.)

(You'll always remember this.)

[Whatever happened there, Stardust? Well, in any case...]

[When equipped, Memory of Uncertainty boosts all your Housemaiden's stats by 25...but by giving her your turn, all her stats double temporarily! Woah!]

[Your Housemaiden also learned the skill 'Loyal Loving Barrier'!!!]

['Loyal Loving Barrier' not only absorbs all damage, but gives your family a buff depending on how much damage was absorbed! Just like your other shield, it's only for one turn though!!!]

[Seems like you'll only get this skill when you have this exact same conversation. Though, it's not easy to fake an emotional breakdown, is it, Stardust??]

[If only you had something that could trigger that awful fear when you wanted to…]

[mehriigss]

Rottmnt weird drabble/one shot because I have anxiety so Leo has anxiety too.

Based on a headcanon you can find here.

Leo was at the verge of a panic attack. No, he was going into a full anxiety spiral. The best part? He was currently having a family dinner.

Everyone was having fun. Raph was stuffing his face with Mikey's meatballs, April was trying to prevent him from choking, his twin was recording everything with his phone, his father was scolding him for using his phone during a family event, Mikey was still cooking in April's kitchen and Draxum and himself were having a smooth conversation about biology. About literal photosynthesis to be precise. He might hate him but he has to admit Draxum really knew how to get him to talk.

There were oh so many details in every single thing his family was doing right now, but he's brain chose to focus on himself. How selfish.

Draxum was rambling about his favourite photosystem when it hit him. The increased heart rate, the tunnel vision, the distorted hearing, the nausea, the damn choking sensation and that fucking piercing pain in his chest that just won't go away for the rest of the week.

Why did his anxiety have to be such an opportunistis?

He stared at Draxum like he was trying to read his soul out loud. Leo could hear him but he wasn't listening. No words seem to get into his brain but the usual 'you're nothing but your brothers', 'too little too late for redemption', 'you'll never change', 'under that mask is a scared little boy'.

Did Draxum just make him a question? He could tell by Draxum's body language.

"So?" Said Draxum to the turtle that barely registrated anything but the strong static in his ears.

Masking this kind of things was easy for him. He just had to ignore and endure it in equal proportions and play face man. He could do it, he was the face man! The actor! The lier among them! Misleading was his specialty.

He would just put on another layer of paint to his mask and flee forward.

"I'm not sure." Leo said a bit too low but steadily nonetheless.

"Well, if you are not sure, I could suggest a few scientific articles". Draxum replayed, apparently content enough with the poor answer.

Draxum was suddenly silent, already used to Leon's seemingly infinite energy for conversation, waiting for him to say something.

So he said the first thing he could muster, the quickest he could: "I-I'd love to read t-them".

That was clearly not a good plan.

It had begun. The stuttering, because his poor mouth couldn't keep up with his anxious brain. He hated that. He's good hiding his panic in plain sight but his stupid stuttering is something he can't control or cover! He could only go mute and hope he's not asked many questions because of it.

But going mute would be extremely suspicious when he's literally in the middle of a conversation!

"Ok...?"

Ok, Draxum was a bit confused, he could work with that. That is fixable. As long as he can keep a low profile he's good.

But his breathing was getting more and more erratic and being and acuatic turtle didn't actually help keep the need to just breath at bay.

Could he fix this?

'Of course not, you're useless!'

'You're eyes are watering, you big crybaby!'

'Just flee. They're not gonna miss you anyway '

'They're better off without you'

He took a big, deep, audible, shaky breath and surrendered.

"Are you ok, bro?" Mikey, bless his soul, had just entered to room and immediately noticed his struggle, taking over the conversation. "Barry, mind if I steal my brother from you for a sec?"

Mikey did not wait for an official answer, he grabbed Leo by the wrist and forced him out of the room. That, in all honesty, scared the holy shit out of Leonardo. And everybody else.

He felt a little naked now that he wasn't around his whole family, but at least the living room smelled like April. It was a nice smell to focus his mind on.

"Leo... It might not be anything serious- and I hope it isn't! -but..."

"I-I'm hav-ing a p-panic a-attack".

Another shaky breath was all it took for Leo to become a hyperventilating and sobbing mess.

That image just fits too well 😙

[skyloftian-nutcase]

Congrats on the followers Skye! :D You said you still had slots open for writing prompts, so can I ask for either something with dad squad, or your au which I forget the name of but Link’s dog’s name is Friend? Maybe some kind of hurt/comfort :)

-Sky Floor

Link knew better than to say things can't get much worse, but the thought tried to cross his mind.

With the amount of times he'd faced his mortality, he'd hardly ever feared death anymore. Sometimes he wondered if it would be a relief to actually die. Not that he'd actively pursue it, of course, but it seemed a passive companion he sometimes longed for and other times pushed away.

But either way - he certainly felt closer to it now than he had for many years.

Gritting his teeth, the former hero dragged himself up by a low reaching tree branch, gripping his sword with all the strength he could muster. The iron knuckle he was fighting marched towards him, enough weight in each step that he could hear its armor clanging across the field. The good thing about these cursed monsters was that they were slow, but after fighting a veritable army of stalfos, lizalfos, wizzrobes, and a boss fight against the corrupted wind dragon, he was reaching the end of his abilities. Honestly, the fact that this behemoth was so slow just made it seem like death was taking its time to claim him. It wasn't as if he could just flee - they were too close to a village, and this thing would kill everyone.

Not that it wouldn't kill them if he died, but... still.

Think, idiot! This isn't the time!

Link managed to roll just as the iron knuckle swung its heavy axe at him, allowing him to get close and chink away at its armor. He got behind it, bashing its helmet with his shield before his leg finally gave out, making him fall to the ground with a grunt.

The iron knuckle turned, its helmet half off, armor damaged, but axe still at the ready.

Link closed his eyes, overwhelmed with pain, bracing for the hit as he feebly held up his shield.

Instead, he heard a snarl and a crash. Opening his eyes, startled, he saw the iron knuckle on its side, having been hit at full speed by Friend, who had torn a path across the field, teeth bared. She gripped wherever her powerful jaw could clamp down, grasping at one of the iron knuckle's arms and tearing it off.

Letting out a relieved breath, he rolled over to get to the enemy and reached weakly for its axe so it couldn't retaliate. Friend beat him to it, ripping off the beast's other arm, growling the entire time as her fur stood on end.

The iron knuckle stopped moving, its armor crumbling to ash and malicious smoke, its helmet remaining.

Link let himself collapse entirely, gasping for air. Friend was in his face in an instant, licking him and whining. He didn't have the energy to reassure her, and she barked at him in protest of it.

Before he could do anything, his sweet companion was nuzzling at his pouch, grabbing it and bringing it to his hand. He smiled tiredly at her, feeling blood seeping out of multiple wounds as she moved to try and nurse them. He hissed when she licked at his leg, but he couldn't shoo her away. Instead, he sifted through his pouch, trying to find anything that could help. He wasn't entirely sure he was stocked up for a fight like this or not.

Eventually, his trembling hand found a cool bottle, and he pulled it out, seeing a red liquid inside. That was promising. He struggled to uncork it, so Friend moved up to him and pulled at the cork with her mouth, letting him get to the contents. After nearly choking down the potion, he let out a sigh of relief, smiling at her. "Thanks, girl."

Friend panted happily, tail wagging as she licked his face once more. Then she nipped gently at his tunic, pulling him along the field as he spluttered. "Friend, what are you—stop it—"

The chonk didn't listen, dragging him as he hissed over every rock and stick he ran over. Eventually he tried to right himself to at least crawl out of the open area, and Friend crawled under him whenever he was about to collapse, supporting him. By the time he reached the edge of the forest he was exhausted, huddling in on himself under a tree. Friend barked at him and then took off running, though he had no idea what she was up to. He glanced around blearily, but he saw no other signs of monsters.

That was good enough for him for now. He closed his eyes, trying to save his energy. He didn't realize he'd fallen asleep until he blinked his eyes open to see that it was dark. And entirely too quiet.

"F-Friend...?" he asked shakily, shivering and trying to sit up.

Where was she? Was she okay? What had happened?

"Oh my gosh, there he is!"

Link squinted, seeing Friend charging towards him with two people following her. They were both immediately recognizable, what with the girl's fancier fashion style and the boy's large stature.

Oh, great.

"'M fine," he immediately insisted. "Taking a nap. Go away."

"You're not fine, look at you!" Princess Zelda argued as she knelt down beside him. "Fancy Hands, pick him up, we have to get him to the village!"

Link glared at Friend while the Gerudo teenager sighed and complied. Traitor.

Friend wagged her tail happily in reply.

"Put. Me. Down." he immediately growled when the other Link tried to haul him over his shoulders.

"Well, you heard him, Princess," the Gerudo quickly said.

"My orders supersede his, pick him up!"

"I will gut you."

"Princess, he doesn't sound like he wants to be carried."

"I don't care what he wants! He's bleeding, he could be delirious!"

"I'm fine."

"He says he's fine."

"I heard him, knucklehead, I don't care!"

Link groaned as his world started spinning. This was getting tedious, and he was in pain. "Just leave me alone."

"Look," the masseur said. "If you don't want to be carried into town, at least let us help you here. I could go back and get supplies from the healer."

Link bit his lip. He didn't like it, but it was a far better option than letting himself be hauled around. "Fine."

The Gerudo nodded, rising, leaving the princess and the pup. Zelda looked him over carefully. "You really did take on that entire army by yourself, didn't you?"

Link stared at her uncertainly.

"That's... incredibly brave of you," Zelda continued. "A mark of a true Hero."

Oh, for Farore's sake. "No. I'm not the Hero."

"Oh, come on!" Zelda argued, putting her hands on her hips. "You definitely are!"

"They owed me money," Link grumbled in reply.

"That's a lie and you know it!"

The argument went back and forth for a few more minutes before Friend finally finished it by laying her entire head over Link's face, silencing him. He tried to protest, his voice muffled in her throat, making the princess laugh and exciting Friend. She licked his face, whining a little, pawing at him.

"I'm okay, Cupcake," he whispered tiredly. The edges of his vision were fading to black. Friend whined again.

"Don't worry, girl," Princess Zelda said gently, petting the dog. "We'll take good care of him."

Link found that he couldn't be annoyed anymore, snuggling close to his sweet dog and falling asleep as they awaited the Gerudo teenager's return.

[the-fandom-abyss]

4 Times Quinn Used Her Strength, 1 Time She Couldn’t

Quinn Bailey x Fem!Reader

Genre: Fluff ♡

Word Count: 2,700 words

Request: here

A/N: I have no idea how to add ‘Keep Reading’ on the app so I apologise for the extremely dashboard clogging fic 😬

1.

When the work load only seems to grow, it's natural for the body to become tired. This leaves room for obstacles that can get in the way of the things that need to be done. Sure, the body can throw warning signs like a runny nose, itchy throat, the occasional sneeze. However, it's not really a sign when the person blatantly ignores them all and is set on pushing through.

And push through you did. All the way through your morning routine, getting ready for another hectic day of classes. Quinn could hear your sniffles, stifled coughs and hesitant sneezes. She also knew how stubborn you could be, thinking that you could run away from your problems. If she didn't intervene, you would run yourself into the ground, and she could not have that. As you walked down the hallway of the New York apartment, she waited patiently for you in the kitchen.

"Good morning" you mustered your best smile, that didn't quite look believable. Quinn took notice of your flushed cheeks, red nose and the ever growing bags under your eyes. She mentally scolded you for how you treat yourself, you deserve so much better.

"Morning" she replied, with an actual smile and handed you a warm cup of coffee.

"Thank you, I needed this" you lifted your mug, before bringing it to your lips. A soft moan left your lips at the taste, warming your cold body from the inside out. You hoped that this was enough to keep your fever at bay.

"You're sick" Quinn blurted out, she couldn't contain it any longer. She dared to step closer to you.

"No I'm not" denial, she knew that this would be your first reaction. She took one more step towards you, gently placing her hand on your forehead. You winced at the sudden cool that hit your hot skin.

"You're burning up" all you could muster was a shake of your head which you instantly regretted. A headache was starting to form after the simple movement. This is when Quinn knew you were truly sick, you didn't have enough energy to fight back. "You're shivering, you can't stop sneezing, you were coughing all night which explains the bags under your eyes. You are sick"

"I'll be fine" you waved her off, heading towards the door. All you had to do was pack your belongings and make a run for it. It sounds easy enough but your legs felt like led.

"You better not be thinking of leaving" Quinn was hot on your tail, her footsteps echoed yours as she walked by your side. She watched as you opened your bag, shoving as much in as possible.

"Quinn I have classes I need to get to" Now Quinn was losing her patience. She couldn't understand why you won't just stop and take your time to rest. You left her no choice.

"Oh no you don't" her arms reached behind your legs, lifting you in the air. Instinctively, your legs wrapped around her waist, your arms sliding around her neck.

"What are you doing?"

"Taking you back to bed" you huffed in defeat, too tired to argue further. A smile graced Quinn's lips when she felt you snuggle into her neck, relaxing at the smell of her strawberry shampoo.

2.

When gatherings occur amongst your friendship group, Quinn seems to always come up in conversation. It's usually instigated by you, who has yet another funny, embarrassing or sweet moment to share. She is always surprised at how willingly the group listens to your stories. They hang on each and every word that flows from your lips.

There's just one catch, when you start talking, you tend to lose your filter. Which means little stories that should be kept private, turn into stories shared between friends. One story in particular, she hoped wouldn't escape, one that deeply embarrassed her. However, she couldn't be so lucky, when she knew how you can be.

"Oh you will not believe what happened last week" at the sound of those words strung together, Quinn's head turned with such force, she was surprised it didn't snap off.

"This ought to be good" Chad commented, leaning back in his chair, taking a sip of his drink in anticipation.

"Please don't, please don't" Quinn chanted under her breath, hoping that the cosmos would hear her. You could have spoken about anything, surely you won't say the one thing she didn't want you to speak of.

"Quinn came over to surprise me, brought flowers, dinner, the whole ordeal. She set up my apartment, set the mood, it was actually really sweet" Quinn could not move fast enough, she saw where this was going and there was no chance you were going to stop there. Without raising suspicion, she sped walked from her room to the group, just in time to cut you off. "When she was finished, she thought she had heard me in my room. She opened the door and wrapped her arms around someone, even described what she wanted to do to me and -" before you could even finish your sentence, Quinn had reached you. She had placed a hand over your mouth, while the other wrapped around your waist.

She lifted you with ease, slinging you over her shoulder. Giggles erupted from your mouth, a combination of her embarrassment and the image you were picturing. There was no fights in your movements, after all this was your end goal.

"Wait! How does it end?" Chad called out, hoping you could finish the story. His mind already racing with all the possible endings, he needed to know what happened.

"Well" you entertained, knowing full well you weren't going to finish the story. You just wanted Quinn to panic for a little longer.

"If you even think of finishing, I will make sure you never do" Quinn's tone was harsh, it was meant to be a very serious warning. All you could give in return was a fit of giggles, which brought a smile to Quinn's face.

"Sorry guys" you waved to them as Quinn retreated further from the group. They would just have to be left in suspense, forever wondering what had happened that day.

3.

Quinn had a final assessment due in the next week, that she has been giving all her attention to. Which meant that she had little time and focus to be able to give to you. With the little plan that you had come up with, that should change very soon.

Firstly, you spent your day going about your normal activities. You made sure to dress for the occasion, wearing only Quinn's favourite shirt and lacy panties. On a good day, this outfit would drive her crazy, it would be hard for her to keep her hands off you. You made sure to tidy the bedroom, agonisingly slow, just to prove your point. From time to time, Quinn's eyes would trail from her laptop and follow up your legs until they reached your face. It was enough to hold her attention for minutes, as she licked her lips and tried hard to look away. It wasn't enough though, she was always able to turn back to the task at hand.

When this didn't work, you moved on to physical touch. You nestled in beside her, legs entwined, hand placed strategically on her thigh. When the timing was right, you traced small shapes on to her bare skin. It started off as harmless, until your hand started to travel closer to where you wanted. You could hear Quinn's breath hitch, each time you touched her inner thigh. You left a trail of goosebumps from the bottom of her thigh, all the way to where the curves meet her panty line. You kneaded the exposed flesh, feeling her muscles tense as she tried to stay focused. Quinn had to bite her bottom lip hard for her to stop her mind from wandering. She could see what you were doing, she knew you wanted attention but she needed to finish this assessment. She told herself that once she was finished, she would give you all of her attention and so much more.

When your plan was only mildly disturbing her, only getting glimpses of her focus. You huffed in resignation, you truly thought you would have been able to stop her from working. You noticed her glass was empty, so you decided to put all your efforts into helping her. You reached over her, collecting the glass in your hand. Quinn breathed in your scent, her will power was slowly dissolving with each movement. When you had left the room, her eyes were glued to your retreating form. In the time you were gone, she had made a decision, ultimately closing her laptop and pushing it to the side. She waited for your footsteps to come closer before she made her move.

Within seconds of entering the room, Quinn had you pinned against the back of the door. In the process, the fresh glass of water, spilled down the front of your shirt.

"Oops" Quinn commented with her signature smirk. Her eyes followed the droplets as they ran down your chest. "We'll just have to take it off" she grabbed the glass and placed it on the closest flat surface. There was no time to waste, Quinn was pulling your shirt over your head, leaving you in just your panties. Her tongue traced the path of the water drops up to your neck. She kissed and sucked on your pulse point which earned her a whimper in return. She felt your fingers curl in her hair, tugging at the strands. With her strength, she picked you up, your legs wrapping around her waist. She spun your bodies around, lips still sucking at your neck, leaving bruises in its wake. She walked you towards the bed before tossing you on top with a bounce.

"God, you are so easy to throw around" she said in a breathy tone, taking in your appearance. Tousled hair spread across the sheets, chest rising from the surprise, panties that happen to be ruined and the almost fucked out gaze you're giving her.

4.

College is a great way to make a large group of friends that's going through the same hell as you. One of the many ways to connect is through a frat party which happens to pop up at the end of a hard week. Quinn is the one who drags you to these parties, pleading that you won’t regret it. Most of the time she’s right but tonight, she was very very wrong. The music vibrated off the walls around you, sipping your drink in a not so quiet corner. Quinn was off dancing with her friends, sipping on the same drink she came in with. She wanted to be more present tonight, commenting that this sorority was known for their sleazy students.

While observing your girlfriend, the space beside you became occupied by a man that reeked of alcohol. His stance was wobbly and his eyes were searching for a focus point. However his intentions were clear, all he wanted was a body to take up stairs.

“S’ pretty” he complimented, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear. You moved over an inch, which threw him off balance. “You feisty” he slurred, unable to form sentences that were longer than two words. He took a bigger swig of his drink, discarding the cup somewhere on the floor. He looked more determined than before, his eyes roaming over your body.

“You can go now” you stated, hoping that the bite in your words would send him on his way.

“I’ll go, if you come with me” a proposition that you were not willing to take. You couldn’t want anything less.

“In your dreams” a scoff and an eye roll would have been enough to show your distaste. Yet, this man was not taking the hint. What made you more uncomfortable was that he leant in further, invading more of your space. His hot breath fanned your face, you scrunched your face at the awful smell.

“All alone” he commented, his hand running up the side of your thigh. Over the course of the conversation, he had backed you into a corner. The only way out would to either go with him or barrel roll through him. You didn’t like your chances on either option. As your last attempt, your eyes searched for a familiar face, someone to come and save you. Quinn had magically disappeared from the dance floor in your time of need. His hand was now firm in your waist, tugging you closer to his body. That was when a force knocked him off his feet. It all happened so fast that you couldn’t comprehend what knocked him over. That was until a certain red head was in your view, towering over the drunk man.

“Touch her again and they’ll never find your body” for a normal person, that threat wouldn’t hold much weight. For someone who has ties to the local police, you wouldn’t want to risk it. He scrambled to his feet the best he could before making himself scarce. Quinn looked back at you, noticing how shaken up you were. She turned to face away from you, giving your leg a tap. That was your queue to hop on. She carried you out of that party, piggyback style, all the way down the street. She only let you down when you were a far enough distance away from the party. All you had to do was walk a couple of streets before Quinn was carrying you again. Mentioning that princesses don’t walk, they should always be carried.

+1

With the influx of recent Ghostface killings, it wasn’t safe to go anywhere. Not even your apartment was deemed safe, never knowing who could be the killer. Quinn insisted that you stay with her, safety in numbers she quoted. She somehow convinced the group with the same idea because now you were all huddled in the apartment.

You joined the ‘core four’ as Chad would say in the dining room. All sharing stories and unshed emotions about what could happen next. None of you expected to hear screams coming from Quinn’s bedroom. You were on a high floor and the doors were all locked, which meant the killer had been in here the whole time. Adrenaline pumped through your body as you were the first to stand. Ignoring the warnings of the others, you headed straight for the room. To your surprise Quinn’s blood decorated the floor as she grasped at her side. Ghostface towered over her, calculating their next attack.

“Stay away from her” you shouted before charging towards the masked person. Successfully you knocked them into the next room, before locking the door behind them. While figuring out the safest way to lift Quinn, you failed to notice how the lock clicked and the door started to open. Revealing a killer that was very done with your shit. They lunged forward, the knife slicing into your arm.

“Y/N” Quinn screamed, hissing at the pain it had caused. She was bleeding at an alarming rate, her skin was growing pale and the pressure she had on the wound was slipping. There was only one thing left to do, run as fast as you could. Without a second doubt, your arms pulled Quinn into your body. With what strength you had left, you picked her up in your arms, bridal style. You made a run for it, trying to avoid knocking Quinn’s head on the door frame. The others understood the emergency, all willing to stop the attacker from reaching you. You had made it safely out the door and down the stairs, gently laying Quinn against the cool bricks of the building. You called 911 with the last push of adrenaline, before collapsing next to Quinn.

“Who knew you had it in you, small fry” she chuckled, trying to lighten the situation. All you could do was smile in return, hoping that you had done enough to save her.

[zimthandmade]

Hi Zimt!

So. You know how Near went to public school for a bit?

Do you have any headcanons on that?

I often imagined him in that scenario and the result honestly is pure chaos.

First of all, I think he kept tabs on everyone on a notebook, from the teachers to his classmates, and at some point someone finds his notes and he gets in real trouble because he was really straightforward about it. When asked why he was doing it he answered that it was a writing exercise, but actually he was just practicing reading people. Which lead to him writing down lots of awkward hypothesis on people’s behaviour that ended up offending them. Also he guessed a lot of the most embarrassing stuff about the school staff, like secret shenanigans and who hid a secret stash of cigarettes where and things like that.

He definitely had a fight with a teacher because he would be doing complicated stuff without following the instructions, like:

N: But Miss, the answer to 47x8 really is 376

Teacher: Nate, there is no way you could guess that out of thin air, please (very frustrated) just do the operation like I explained you.

(No idea if in your AU he did enough elementary school for his class to do multiplications, but still)

You could draw a parallel with Mello on that one, or with Light even.

In a normal classroom they probably would have been able to respectively show up the teacher about the stupidity of the question and show off to the teacher about how easily he handles it. Near however would not even be able at that time to understand why it is being asked in the first place, because he struggles to fully grasp the fact that the other children are not at his level. It all seems so easy to him.

Which lead young Nate to pick the lock of his teacher’s desk drawer to read his classmates’s child-level answers to tests and understand what they were doing right that he was apparently doing wrong.

He got in trouble for that too.

He said that he was doing research.

His teachers were very frustrated with his attitude. It’s the nineties, so they don’t really know or care on how to deal with his autism.

Also, do you think he got bullied?

Since children can really be jerks probably yes, and with that sassy attitude he probably spent his share of hours inside a locker.

He definitely corrected all the insults directed to him, (often mistaking insults for simple errors) like:

“No Jason, I am not retarded, I am autistic, asperger autistic, which means that it’s not that evident, but it doesn’t affect my cognitive abilities in any way-“

“Don’t be ridiculous Charles, of course I am not a girl, why would you make such an assumption? We go to the same bathroom.”

Etc.

Also, this one might be a bit exaggerated, but I imagine him being so bored of his own homework that he corrupted one of the older kids to let him do theirs, and when people started to get suspicious and they wanted to back out Nate threatened to let everyone know their secret plus other stuff he found out about his accomplice to use as blackmail for this specific scenario.

The kid reached out to an adult as he was very scared of Near.

Near didn’t mean to scare them, he was just testing if something he saw on TV actually worked in real people.

Poor kid probably had to change a lot of schools.

What do you think?

I can't muster up the energy to draw something for this but I don't want this to be rotting in my ask box any longer cause I think it's absolutely lovely <3 It's so well thought through and lively, I can see all of that happening!

Must be so frustrating for a nighly gifted kid to be constantly corrected and critisised despite knowing they're in the right. I wonder if it made Near feel like he's dumb at some point.

[themightymoose]

It'ssss Vinnie angst time! Again. It's always Vinnie angst time. Yeah.

Today's topic is his dancing. Oh, I love take it away from him. Like, we all agree he's just straight up not good at it, right? He's clumsy, he hurts himself while dancing, makes messes, stuff like that. But he also undeniably loves it, I mean have you seen how often he does that and might I add happily so? Yeah. He loves it. And he's bad at it. A delightfully angsty scenario practically writes itself.

The way I see it, at one point it would really hit him that he's not good at it, he's not going to get paid for dancing, he's not going to make it his job, and he's not going to dazzle anyone ith his dancing. To make it have big impact let's say he fails in an important moment. Maybe he's finally performing in front of properly big audience. And it goes horribly. He used to fantasize being able to dance with so many eyes on him and he's finally doing it! Except that in his fantazies he performed with no mistakes and got such applause, and in reality...

It was one thing when six people or so who he knew saw him trip and fall, mess up his moves etc, but this time at least hundred of people saw it let's say. He didn't mess up once, oh no, he messed up multiple times and in a very visible way. He tried to act like all those falls were part of it but... in the end he couldn't really. Maybe he even got boo'd at. Either way he failed spectacularly and that was the moment he really realized that this is not going to work. Sure, you could say he could have just kept trying, practice makes perfect after all, right? But he had been dancing for as long as he can remember, and he's always made all those mistakes! If he didn't stop making them during all that time then what are the chances he will now...?

That is it for him, his first big proper performance and he failed completely. Mind you, he does try still dancing after that, but he can never quite muster the enthusiasm anymore. Dancing used to be fun even if he tripped and fell, it used to make him happy regardless because it was fun and he thought with enough practice he could make it work but... apparently he can't. So he dances less and less until there is none. He just can't find the energy to even try, after all what's the point if he has not improved in years...? What's the point if he's not even good at it and it doesn't bring him happiness anymore?

So he just gives up. Not only that but he feels like he has wasted so many years trying to master something he can't even do semi-correctly apparently. His depression (of course) mixed with this only worsens. Or perhaps that's how it starts? Oh well, the point it, the boy is not dancing anymore, not in front of bigger audiences, not in front of smaller audiences, not even when he's alone. He doesn't see the point and he's too tired to do it. He knows others expect him to dance and he would fall and they would laugh. So he tried at first. But after a while he just can't force himself to.

Do his friends/partners (if we're talking polypets or any other ship really) know? Idk, it could go both ways. Maybe they're aware of that monumental performance so once they notice he doesn't really dance anymore they connect the dots. Or maybe they're completely unaware for one reason or the other. Maybe at first they don't even notice he doesn't really seem to dance anymore. Maybe if they ask he makes excuses. One thing is for sure for Vinnie, that shit got him really depressed and like he should reevaluate his entire life. There's no catharsis, I don't want him to somehow get hat he wants when it comes to dancing. I want him to fall apart.

Hurray :D! Burn, baby, burn.

Forgot this was in my inbox for a couple hours oops-

Anyways damn poor Vin-Vin :( imagine how crushing it would be to have the sudden realization that the thing you love most, that you have centered your life around, that you are actually horrible at it. That no matter what you do or no matter how hard you try, it always falls flat.

And imagine how much worse it would be in front of a crowd, what if it was in front if people he admired. Maybe a famous dancer or choreographer has come to watch him. Can you believe it? Him! Out of all the things his idol could've been doing, they chose to watch him! Vinnie had to make it count

... which is what he tries to do, but to many things go wrong at once, leaving people unimpressed. Vinnie takes one last glance at his idol, his inspiration... all they do is shake their head disapprovingly. Vinnie wastes no time running off that stage and down the street as fast as he can. He swiftly opens the door and slams it shut, ignoring everyone trying to greet him and asking how his performance went. Vinnie books it to his room and slams his door before locking it.

Let's just say Vinnie cried himself to sleep that night

[whumperfultime]

June of Doom Day 12

@juneofdoom

Prompts: "I can't stand seeing you like this." | Dehydration | Grief | Coma

Contains: Bedside vigil, whumpee in coma, hospital setting, worry/guilt, mild dehydration, environmental whump, heat whump, heatstroke, and mention of kidnapping/captivity

It's hard for Kalei to care about her own physical needs when Dace is in a coma.

~

They had no way of knowing that the target was aligned with Fen. They didn’t know that his organization had spread to Ezanu or even into the neighboring solar system in the first place.

Not until Dace wound up captured.

Evidently the target was on Fen’s bad side and figured that handing over three of his rivals would mend the relationship. He only managed to grab Dace, snatching him up when he was casing the outside of the mansion they intended to rob. Kalei and Matago stayed behind onboard the ship, preparing some of their supplies for the job.

Neither of them knew much of what happened after that. Just that Dace  was being held in an outbuilding on the property when they found him – some grimy, cramped garage. He could barely speak and whatever he said was the result of delirium. He couldn’t even stand on his own, forcing Matago to do most of the heavy lifting while they brought him to the transport parked behind the building.

Kalei knew heatstroke when she saw it.

Dace passed out on the drive to the nearest hospital. That was two and a half days ago and he still hadn’t woken up. The doctors told her that he was in a coma. Any longer in captivity – in a locked building amidst the desert heat, given little to no food or water – and he might be dead.

If it weren’t for the sounds and glowing screens of the machines monitoring him and keeping him alive, Kalei might have believed he was. He looked so small amongst the wires and tubes. All the strength and energy she knew him for suddenly gone, leaving a pale and too still body behind. She hoped that strength was still in there. That he would have enough to fight his way back to the surface.

Sleeping on the Azaphia probably would have been more comfortable, but Kalei couldn’t bring herself to leave. Not after he’d been alone in that place. Not when he still hadn’t woken up. She couldn’t sleep that much anyway, just relying on brief dozes curled up in the uncomfortable hospital chair.

A quick knock at the doorway jolted her out of her latest attempt at rest. Rather than one of the many doctors and nurses who came in to check up on him, it was Matago. He’d left a couple hours earlier to check on the Azaphia – it always felt risky to leave her unattended. Even more now that an interplanetary crime lord likely knew they were on Ezanu.

“Sorry to wake you,” Matago whispered. Then he caught himself, remembering that he didn’t have to be so quiet. That Dace wasn’t just sleeping and couldn’t be woken up so easily. “Any developments while I was gone?”

Kalei shook her head. “Same as always.”

Dace’s primary doctor seemed to be optimistic despite the lack of changes. She wasn’t sure if he was being genuine or just trying to keep their spirits up, but she clung to the sliver of hope anyway. At least his condition hadn’t worsened.

Matago pulled up a chair of his own, slinging his backpack onto the floor. “Guess he could use the extra beauty sleep.”

Normally Kalei would have shot him a glare for the ill-timed joke, but she knew it was one of the things he used to cope. (Besides, Dace would probably laugh if he heard it.) Instead, she hugged her knees to her chest and stared at Dace’s unchanging expression. She could feel Matago’s gaze lingering on her.

“How are you holding up?” he finally asked.

Kalei shrugged, trying to muster up the energy to give an actual response. “Mentally feel like shit. Also physically feel like shit.”

“When was the last time you ate?”

She couldn’t help but roll her eyes. Clearly she was not the one who should be warranting concern in this situation. “When we ate breakfast together this morning. You saw me.”

“What about the last time you drank?”

That was…admittedly harder for her to answer. “I had a few sips of tea then, too. Couldn’t finish it because the tea here is gross.”

“I meant water.”

Now she found herself avoiding looking at him altogether. “I don’t know,” she mumbled. “Sometime yesterday.”

“Oh for the love of-” Matago sighed, bending down and rustling through his bag. He retrieved a full plastic water bottle, slick with condensation after being removed from the Azaphia’s fridge, and shoved it in her direction. “I can’t stand seeing you like this. Drink, woman.”

“I’m fine.”

“You are clearly not. You are dehydrating as we speak.”

Kalei wanted to argue. To snap at him from taking the focus away from Dace, who was in actual danger, and putting it on her, the one who had just barely found him before he was too far gone to save. But the protest died in her throat…which was uncomfortably dry.

If she were being honest, she knew Matago was right. She recognized it overnight when she couldn’t sleep. Those quiet moments were when she allowed herself to cry over the situation, only last night it felt as if her body had no tears to give. Plus there were the times she got up to stretch her legs – Dace’s room in the ICU was cool, but in other parts of the hospital where she walked, the air conditioning did less to ease the desert heat. Which meant more sweat. And now that she was both awake and not spiralling over Dace’s condition, an evergrowing pain in her head finally registered.

She took the bottle without a word, too tired to argue anymore. Matago didn’t stop staring at her until she took her first sip…which turned to her chugging half the bottle once the cold water hit her tongue.

“That’s better,” said Matago, sitting back. “Just don’t drink so fast you get sick.”

Kalei managed a small smile. “You want me to hydrate or not? Make up your mind.”

“You know what I mean, you fucking smartass.”

She took another sip, feeling lighter if only for a moment.

Both of them turned their attention back to Dace…and found his eyes beginning to open.

[sapphire-weapon]

I can't help but pick apart characters I like and resonate with. Where RE is concerned, it's kinda infamous to offer only little insights and tidbits. That personally leaves me to deepdive into fanbase opinions and thought pieces. Anyway, my question is, do have any favourite headcanons about Leon and his lifestyle/personality? :)

My two cents is that he's very introverted and a little bit awkward and lonely. Idk if that's obvious, or maybe you disagree? Just curious, if you'd like to weigh in with anything extra. :)

The thing about Leon is that I don't think he's introverted by nature; I think his emotional breakdown and subsequent depression and drinking problem sort of forced him into that lifestyle. This is for both versions of Leon, too -- Remake and OG. I think that pre-RE2 he was fairly extroverted (OG moreso than Remake, but still both) and would've rather gone out than stay in.

And while his actual nature hasn't changed, his mental health and lifestyle both have. On some level, he'd still prefer to go out than stay in, and he'd rather be with people rather than be alone, but his job keeps him pretty socially isolated, and the depressive part of his brain doesn't have the energy/doesn't want to be bothered with trying to navigate around it, because he also has a newfound sense of paranoia and self-loathing to fight through, too. So his brain just kind of goes "it's not worth it" now.

I think it's gotten worse as he's gotten older, too. OG RE4 Leon still seemed to want to try to hold onto some part of who he was before Raccoon City -- ID Leon, too. But then we start getting into Damnation and then RE6 and then Vendetta, and he just seems to crawl further and further into whatever post-trauma hole he's dug for himself.

Remake Leon is a slightly different beast in that regard; his character arc seems to have been accelerated a bit compared to OG, and he just went straight to the level of cynicism and self-isolation that his OG counterpart doesn't hit until RE6.

He's definitely lonely, though. There's no denying that. Leon exists in a world so far removed from the average person that he probably doesn't even remember how to have a normal conversation anymore.

Could you imagine post-RE4 Leon trying to just like... date normally...? Leon, who was kidnapped and coerced via the threat of violence against a child into his career -- a man who's been completely estranged from his family since 1998 -- just sitting there listening to some girl talk about how her boss is a dick and she's having problems with her sister or something. He's just like "... yeah that sounds... that's crazy :T" He's the personification of can'trelate.jpeg

And the people who do understand him are so physically far from him (I think Chris and Jill still live in Europe, at least for part of the year, if I'm not mistaken) and have their own lives that it's not like he keeps in touch with them very well.

Most of Leon's life probably blurs together, and he has a horrible concept of time as a result. Like, he'll go several years between actually physically seeing/hanging out with Claire, but every time he sees her, he's like "I just saw you last summer" -- but no, he very much did not.

Very few of his days are different from the last. He wakes up, works out, showers, goes to the office, comes home, has a few drinks and dicks around, then goes to sleep. Every day. And he doesn't really do anything much on the weekends, either. He cleans if he can muster the will to do it (fuck it, if not; it's not like he lives with anyone or ever has guests), and then he drinks and dicks around some more. And then the weekend is over. And the cycle repeats.

And when I say "dicks around" I mean that Leon has watched so many movies at this point in his life that he actually could be fun for conversation if he would just pull his head out of his own ass and realize that even normal people have, like, hobbies and interests and shit.

And while I make fun of him for being a dumbass idiot butt monkey all the time, I do genuinely think he reads a lot -- both fiction and nonfiction. Especially once ebooks really start taking off and becoming a thing.

I like to think that the big secret that he'll never tell anyone is that he's a sucker for a good romance. It's not his preferred go-to genre or anything, but every once in a while, he'll self-indulge and live vicariously through a romance story.

This next headcanon is 100% just me projecting, because this is what I did during and after my own breakdown when I still lived on the east coast -- but when he does want to get out of the house, he waits until late at night (like 11pm or later) and then goes and just. Watches the ocean.

And thinks about throwing himself into it. But never does.

[azaleapaperpad]

Red Curtains and Chandeliers

Phantom of The Opera (Broadway version)(Merik) x GN! Reader (Part 5) Final(?) Part WC: 1632

As the final act started, with Christine dancing on stage, you and your friends watched in anticipation, just waiting for the show to be over. You looked around for your friend, to try and tell them your plan to help him so they policemen and Raoul wouldn’t catch him. You squeezed between a few of the other dancers, trying to get to your best friend. They spotted you, and their eyes lit up. They gracefully maneuvered around the other ballerinas and went behind the group, meeting you. “Hello mon cher! I’m so sorry for leaving you earlier, but that officer offered to take me out after the show!” They whispered excitedly. You smirked at them, shaking your head. “Oh, darling, don’t rain on my parade.” They whined. You giggled as quietly as you could muster, and gave them a genuine smile. 

“I'm excited for you!” You whispered excitedly. Fuck. I can't ask them to help me out and ruin their night. Your smile faltered a little, bit you decided to tell them your plan anyhow. You ushered them further back so none of the other dancers could hear you, and to further make sure the audience couldn't hear you two. You ended up stepping out into one of the halls. 

“What's going on?” They inquired. 

“Well, I wanted to tell you… I'm going to attempt to confess to the Phantom. And I may need your help, actually. I'll try to make sure it doesn't affect your outing, but I certainly need your help.” You said, looking around to make sure no one else could hear you. They beamed at your idea, excitement radiating off of them. They nodded excitedly. You held onto their shoulders to ground them a bit, but their energy started to affect you, and you two were raising your toes in excitement. 

“Okay, so what is the plan?” They asked after calming down a bit. You took a second to recount how you would do so. 

“I was thinking of going to his lair. Tonight. But I need a distraction so I can get there without anyone noticing… maybe that outing could be a good distraction! See if you can get the other dancers, Christine and Raoul out there too.” You nodded, letting the wheels turn in your brain. 

“Brilliant, I’ll do my best!” They nodded excitedly. Then, unexpectedly, they pulled you in for a hug. “I’m so proud of you, darling. You’re going to show him what he’s missing!” They said as they hugged you. You felt your heart warm at their words of encouragement. 

“Thank you, I would never be able to do anything for myself without you here.” You thanked them. They truly were an amazing friend. As you two separated, you lead them back towards backstage to watch the finale, so as not to look too suspicious.

As you were watching, you noticed Sir Piangi seemed off, much like earlier. You made a mental note to check on him once all was said and done. The diet must have been messing with his stage presence. As the slow and sultry song of  “The Point of No Return” started, you watched intensely as Piangi commanded the stage, and Christine’s voice was smooth and buttery. Your insecurities started flaring up at the thought she’s been doing so well because of The Phantom’s aide. Your friend nudged you, noticing a worry line forming between your brows, and gave you a look that said ‘Are you okay?’ You shook off your insecurities and nodded slightly. 

The crescendo almost scared you as crashed through the theater. And then it hit you. That isn’t Sir Piangi. There’s only one presence that commands such an audience as grand as the Opera Populaire and all its patrons and staff. Before you could even react to your own revelation, The Phantom was revealed, in his pristine white mask. The audience, the staff, the dancers and singers, were all in shock. You looked over to your friend, and their shock was the same as everyone’s. Once they gained their consciousness back, they darted their head and gaze to you and mouthed;

“Run.”

You slipped out of the crowd relatively easily as you heard The Phantom begin to serenade Christine. Your heart ached, but as soon as you were out of earshot from the main stage, you bolted into a sprint as fast as you could. It wasn’t until a few seconds later, just as you were exiting the opera house that you heard another bang and you couldn’t hold back the scream you let out. You looked back and hesitated for a moment. Surely they couldn’t have gotten him. All impulses to run back vanished, and you continued, running as fast as you could to his lair. You remembered the path well, being careful with your steps. You ended up taking a bit of a longer path, but you were still faster than the mob you could hear in the distance. 

You entered and saw The Phantom and Christine, Christine herself berating him for taking her. You froze. You didn’t know what to say. He was begging her to stay, explaining that his ‘curse’ denied him a normal life and your heart ached more. Adrenaline and sorrow flowed through your veins before you could take it anymore. 

“Phantom! I’ve come to speak with you…” Your voice died down at the last few words. Both Christine and The Phantom looked at you in surprise. He wasn’t expecting you. 

“Let her go… please.” You begged as you approached them. 

“Christine isn’t going to love you, but I will. I’ve loved you from the day we met, and I’ve always been too scared to tell you. But if you stay here, you will get hurt. They’re coming for you, and I’m more afraid of seeing you hurt than I am of anything else. I’m…” tears started flowing down your cheeks, burning with hurt and love from the months of repression. 

“I’m sorry. I left you when I needed you most and I can’t stand to watch you like this anymore.” You choked as you got closer. The Phantom, still grasping the idea that you were here was still frozen. You wouldn’t know it, but your leaving hurt him more than you could imagine, and it drove him to the impossible extent to get Christine to drive his mind away from you. 

“Please… I love you.” You finally choked out, now closer to him, almost right next to him, just as you used to be. You reached for his hands, and held them, albeit you were both shaking. Christine took the moment to flee and found Raoul at the top of the stairs, stopping him from coming any further. 

“(Y/n), my dear… You have no idea how long I’ve missed you.” He said tenderly as he reached to wipe away your tears. You noticed tears starting to well in his eyes as well. You smiled up at him, a bittersweet smile and hugged him. He wrapped his arms around you as well, holding you tightly as if he were afraid you’d leave again. Once you let eachother out of the embrace, you looked around and noticed Raoul and Christine were gone, but you could still hear a mob outside. 

“We need to leave, they’ll find you here…” You said softly. He nodded at you and took your hand, leading you to a secret exit. You followed him and noticed the pattern as the one you would use to get from your room to the lair and vice versa when you were running late for your lessons with him in the past.  As you realized, you picked up pace with him and before you knew it, you were back in your dorms. You noticed that your best friend wasn’t there, and you immediately go to lock the door. Just as a safety precaution, in case they came to your room next. 

Once you two settled in, there was a palpable… sort of awkwardness in the air, before he broke the silence.

“I… I apologize, my angel. I was foolish to drive you away, and to try and follow Christine. You were… absolutely right. I had absolutely no right to put you both through what I did.” You softened at his words, and reached for his hand to comfort him. 

“You’re not the only one who needs to apologize, my dear Phantom-”

“Erik.”

“Pardon?”

“Please, my angel, call me Erik.” He said softly, as he took your other hand. You felt your heart melt at him now trusting you with his name.

“You’re not the only one who needs to apologize, Erik. I shouldn’t have been so overcome by jealousy as to leave you. I should have told you sooner that I loved you.” You apologized. He held your face gently as your apology came out. 

“And I love you too, (Y/n). I should have seen it sooner.” Erik confessed. You gave him a small smile as you leaned into his touch, a touch you’ve missed for a long time. 

“May I kiss you, Erik?” You asked, looking up at him. He shared your smile and leaned down to meet your lips. It was perfect, the way his misshapen lips connected with yours, filling the room with such love and devotion. 

Once you two broke the kiss, he looked deep into your eyes. “I promise to love you, and to protect you for as long as I shall live. I will never let my true angel feel like they aren’t loved ever again.” He promised, tears starting to form in his eyes again as he sealed his promise with another kiss. 

The End <3

Author's Note: Hey guys! I'm really sorry if the ending seems really rushed, but I've been trying to crank this out for a couple weeks and I wanted to end it a little better, but my procrastination and want to start on other works started taking over. I hope you enjoyed it! (Also, I've gotten a request to write a spicy end scene, so if that's something you guys would like to see, please let me know c;)

[agustdenovo]

Eye of the Storm (Yoongi's POV.)

➻ pairing: hyyh yoongi x hyyh jungkook AKA min cein x jeon jeha

➻ genre: hyyh!au, based in the bangtan universe, pure angst bc is it ever anything else with these two? 😭

➻ summary: Yoongi can't live without Jung Kook. Yet, the only sensible thing to do is push him away, he tells himself.

➻ wordcount: 573

➻ released: 21st of june, 2024.

➻ author’s note: my first published work here hsjfshds this was honestly just something i wrote on a whim!! but!! i hope i've done these two justice, hyyh makes me bawl every 2-3 business days :')

disclaimer: i do not ship any of the actual bts members with each other, nor will i ever in the future. this is about hyyh yoonkook, characters from the BU, NOT the bts members yoongi and jungkook.

crossposted to ao3: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56794450

I am a whirlwind of destruction. A tsunami batters my heart, my head is ravaged by perpetual sandstorms and yet no force of nature can hope to inflict even an atom’s worth of damage as I have done so already.

I am a storm, and Jung Kook is right in the eye of mine. He stands there, unflinching, and I, like a coward, decide to abandon him once more.

The light in his eyes makes me violently ill.

“Why didn’t you go see Jung Kook? Don’t you know what you mean to him?”

He said my music makes him want to live. I can’t steal that away from him.

I know what I mean to him. Of course I do, which is why I can’t let him stay. He has stars in his eyes, and I pluck them right out with the coarse words climbing up my throat, leaving my lips like dry lumps of coal. And despite every bone in my body yearning to see his teeth peek out in that smile of his again, I shirk his gaze. He calls me hyung. I call him something far worse.

I can’t tell if I’m the pathetic one for always leaving, or Jung Kook for always staying. My arms are tattered with his claw marks from all the times he refused to let me go. They’re my favourite scars. I rub my arms raw, trying to make them disappear.

“Go home, Jung Kook.”

Futile. Streamers of light from his eyes wrap around me, trapping me, glueing my feet to the ground. No diamonds can even hope to compare with his, twinkling in his waterline from the misty yellow and blue lights from nearby skyscrapers.

I curse. I yell at him to go away, but he refuses to budge. His conviction is almost as strong as my anger.

Or maybe he’s just as stupid as me, because he walks over and gives me a hug; like he isn’t the Sun itself. And I, the Moon, foolishly orbiting Terra when my existence revolves around a star.

Warmth seeps into the crevices of my heart. Jung Kook wants to save a man cursed from his very creation. Cursed to cycles of dolour, a samsara of misery. Yet, I can’t muster up the energy to push him off. His arms around me feel like relief and torture all in one. Liquid drips onto my neck. Fruitless to ponder upon its source.

Only after a long minute does he let go. I stare into red-rimmed eyes. My voice sounds unfamiliar when I choke out the same words again, and I clench my fists until my jagged nails draw blood.

“Go home.”

Tonight seems like a good night for a stiff drink. I wonder if the corner store will still be open at this time, instead of thinking about the crestfallen look on Jung Kook’s face. No matter how many times I cause it, it will never cease feeling as if a dagger were twisted into my very soul.

“Promise me you’ll come see me tomorrow.”

I turn and walk away, before Jung Kook can say more.

Maybe if I pretend he isn’t there, he’ll leave and not foolishly come back, for once.

Maybe then I won’t be forced to spit out grimy words and act like it isn’t killing me, for once.

Maybe, that way, I’ll be able to save Jung Kook from my cursed fate, for ever.

[melishade]

Number 38?

This ask game

Huh...hm...who wants to see Zeke get tortured in the War Timeline?! For more context: War Timeline: The Decepticons

TW Torture

Zeke screamed out in agony as he felt something injected into his back, directly into his spine. He could feel whatever it was crawling throughout his veins and burn his body from the inside out. He tried so hard to crawl away, resist, transform, anything, but there was nothing he could do. He was chained up in the air with no other possible way of getting down.

He didn't expect this to happen at all. Those demons that came from the sky, titans that transformed into vehicles and flying aircrafts. He thought he could initially handle it. He was able to kill some of them. But then their leader came down: Megatron. He dispatched of him so easily. He killed the rest of the Marleyans, including Pieck and Porco. And now he was a prisoner to these monsters.

Zeke continued screaming, but he somehow managed to hear the red one talking about his condition. Something about a new serum. He was talking about it to Megatron, and the titan seemed so gleeful that it terrified him. He had to leave. He had to get out. He had to do something. Bite his tongue?! Maybe! Ending his suffering now would be better than this.

Zeke mustered up the courage and the willpower to bite off his tongue and make himself bleed out, just to end this nightmare, but gasped when slender fingers reached out and forced his jaw to remain open. Zeke's eyes shakily drifted to the owner of the fingers, and was met face-to-face with his own reflection on a purple, faceless, titan.

"What did the human try to do?" Megatron demanded from him. Zeke watched as the faceless titan turned to Megatron, and saw himself in the mirror, getting ready to bite his tongue off.

"Well humans are pretty cowardly creatures," the red one commented.

"It's a known fact," Megatron agreed with the red one, "But this one clearly has never met someone that could actually outmatch him. So when met with an actual challenge, he buckles in fear."

"P-please....," Zeke forced out through the pain, "Please s-stop hurting me. Please stop."

Megatron couldn't help but laugh at that. "You're begging for mercy now, Zeke Jaeger? Awfully hypocritical of you, isn't it? You turned your own into those repugnant monsters without a second thought. On top of that,"

The faceless titan turned back to Zeke, and the titan shifter was shown the newspaper headline of the Eldian Restorationists lead by Grisha.

"You sold out your own creators," Megatron finished, "For some elaborate plan that Soundwave can't find the meaning of."

The faceless titan, Soundwave, finally let go of Zeke's jaw. Zeke tried to move, but he no longer had the energy to try.

"Do not think that you will be getting out of this situation so easily." Zeke felt a claw placed under his chin, and his head was raised to look Megatron in the eye, "I will discover how the power of those titans work, and that power will soon belong to me."

Megatron's claw let go of Zeke, and the titan shifter's head slumped forward. The titan shifter felt tears form in his eyes, unable to hear a command that Megatron was giving Soundwave due to how exhausted he was.

(Zeke doesn't have a fun time in the War and Dark Timeline. He gets lucky in the Revenge Timeline simply because he's smart enough to tell Megatron about Starscream.)

[goldenpinof]

Not that this is like, a hot new take or anything, but I can imagine that they both might be going through a bit of a crisis. Like their careers have finally died down but like, what do they do. They haven't done much else but be YouTube personalities (which is more than just YouTube, obv) for like, nearly 15 years. They are probably afraid to venture into new territory, because at this point that will likely mean risking either their brand or their bank accounts (like how Dan had to risk money to do the tour / offer to put up his own money for Dinok). Not that that's a good excuse, but I can understand being afraid and Phil just trying to hang on to his usual content for the both of them (as he also figures out work/life balance). Dan only did DD for the tour and it definitely felt kinda forced. Just doing their old stuff but with their older/out-of-closet selves isn't going to be successful in a way it's safe, for now.

As someone with a lot of the same kind of mental health struggles Dan has, I imagine he might be beyond burnt out and doesn't really want the attention anymore because of the work it requires. And even though it's like, okay it's been months since the tour okay what's next... idk what we'll really get out of him for a while (maybe a few years even?) besides random contract work like the channel 4 thing. Like, projection time, but I just got through grad school with extreme ADHD/executive dysfunction/procrastination etc, and was so burnt out by the end idk how I did it. And I'm like, oh well it's been about 6 months I should probably have a job in my field by now (which I'm probably insane for thinking that anyways because the job market is in so wild). But like, I've been kinda burnt out since 2016 (when I was 16 and a junior in high school, at the end of my og dnp phase) and all I can muster the mental energy to do now is the same part-time / retail work I've been doing the past few years. Which like, I'm barely getting by and I do ultimately feel disappointed that I'm not trying harder to put my fancy new degree to work because I'm barely applying for anything. But I just can't get myself together enough to do that right now. I imagine Dan might be going through something similar, like, he could be doing something creative but he probably is just tired and wants to just live life without any expectations and go on vacations and rely on Phil to be the content creator. He's probably aware that it's not ideal. But he also seems done with compromising any creative vision either because he doesn't want to do sponsorships or anything that isn't a deeply personal piece of art. And he probably doesn't have many deep ideas now that WAD is done and Dinok is stalled and there isn't much he seems to want to do commentary on (because if he just sucked it up he would actually be a pretty good commentary YouTuber lol).

I think they also have a lot more stuff to work through mental health wise too before they are ever really able to not be cryptic about their relationship, since when ex-phannies or random people who remember them see their tiktoks or whatever it's what they all ask about. Like to some degree I don't know if they ever wanted to be out and famous but it got to the point where they couldn't keep denying it either. I'm so glad they came out because it's clearly so much healthier, but beyond the trauma of being closeted that they had to overcome they probably now have trauma from years and years of people being weird towards them about their relationship and it's like... now they have get through that in order to take the next step. do they really want to go through all that just to help open themselves up to a new era of content? Idk.

(this turned out to be wayyy longer than I anticipated woops. can't even remember if some of this was in response to what was on your blog or some of the other similar conversations I've seen about this today but yeah).

i'm almost crying. i hate us so much. this is exactly why the phandom needs meet ups irl or "bubbles" where we could have conversations. because trying to answer THAT without forgetting something is hard, and also i can't imagine how hard it is to write these mini-essays and get bullshit in response.

i appreciate it a lot. and i basically agree with your message. i see how it can be true. and i know that in case of burnout, Dan can let himself step back. the problem i have with him disappearing and coming back after 2018 is that he thinks that the audience will wait for him and accept everything he puts out with the same passion, participation, and amount of money as when he and Phil were making content without long pauses. but book sales, merch sales, tour ticket sales, views and god knows what else that we can't see show that we aren't willing to wait. and it started in 2019 i guess, so you would think that by 2022 Dan would understand what went wrong and just book smaller venues (or make a smaller stage for it to not be a problem). i'm using wad just as an example. you said Dan could not want attention anymore. but he repeatedly says that he loves attention. and it's not only words, you can see it irl. ofc after tours there is a period of time to rest. but before that, there was a clusterfuck of something that was barely content while the merch releases were consistent. either because it was pre-made or because Dan was still living in a rose-colored world thinking that we would buy stuff without content. i'm not sure what i'm arguing here anymore riuehdfsidxkl apologies, i guess it's related to Dan wanting to fuck off. and he CAN. i don't care, 2019 taught me a lesson. (doesn't mean i can't bitch about it <3)

anyway. i understand your struggles with work and degree. basically, i was in the same position after graduating, and now it's even more difficult but i get it. choosing to work part-time, in retail and similar "easy" jobs because you can't deal with the weight of expectations that come with a degree, that's... yeah. an adult reality that no one told us about. i wish you the best, and i hope everything works out well. whatever you decide to do, remember you don't have to use your degree if you don't want to or just don't feel like you can at this moment. you know, getting a fancy "serious" job is such a commitment, bruhh. and you can always walk out of retail :)

Dan would be a brilliant commentary youtuber, you're right! he just knows how to talk and make people listen.

their brand is already fucked, nothing to save here. i mean, Dan and Phil brand doesn't exist. Dan's youtube brand is all over the place. AmazingPhil is the only consistent thing. and yes, it feels like Phil is terrified of shifting in any direction. we're stuck with 2016 content, it's like a real-life time machine on youtube. and if it works for him, fine. i'm just sad that there is no "trying new things" anymore and that he can't even get old successful things back.

i'm not commenting on their relationship because it would be too long. fuck tiktok though. i think dnp jumped to this "new popular" platform with no actual regular content to present as a distraction and that bit them in the ass.