#but this is the first one i've heard of that doesn't end badly ^^;; | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

spectersgirl · 10 months

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hi! can you do one where harvey and the reader had a thing and it ended badly and they end up in court against each other or something like that? maybe they end up together after all? thanks!!

Loveeee flexing my angst muscles!

Ready for a Battle

Harvey Specter x Reader

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"You've gotta be fucking kidding" you muttered under your breath as you read over the paperwork for your latest case, noticing the attorney on record listed just so happened to be Harvey Specter. You'd dated a few years prior, but the ultimate killer to the relationship was that you and Harvey were very similar in stubbornness, causing you to fight and argue more than spend any actual time together.

You'd been lucky enough not to cross paths in all the time you'd been a lawyer since the breakup, but it seemed that your luck was running out. You placed your head in your hands in frustration, sighing before getting back to work on preparing for your case.

A few days went by of normalcy before you heard a knock on your office door, and they didn't wait to hear you answer before entering.

"Harvey, you know normally people knock to get permission before coming into a room." You said dryly.

Harvey smirked before striding to your desk, leaning on the corner before looking around appreciatively.

"I knew you'd tell me no, and I wanted to see this fancy corner office they gave you."

"Not too bad, huh? Don't worry, I'm sure Jessica will give you one soon enough." You replied, sarcasm dripping from your tone.

"I have one of my own, I just wanted to see how much better mine is than yours."

You rolled your eyes at the cockiness, setting the file you'd been focused on aside, finally giving the man your full attention.

"Is there something I can do for you, Harvey?"

"No, but you can do something for you. You can settle this thing so it doesn't get ugly in court."

You narrowed your eyes at him, trying to figure out what he was trying to pull. "Since when do you care about things getting ugly?"

"Since I noticed you were the attorney of record on this case. I don't want to see you get hurt." He replied, a hint of something in his tone that you couldn't identify.

"I think I can manage. Plus, it's not like it wouldn't be the first time you've seen me get hurt. I'm ready for a battle. Now, if there's nothing else, you can see yourself out. I've got a case to prepare. "

He paused for a moment, clearly taken aback by the sharpness of your tone, before shaking his head and heading for the door.

"Don't say I didn't warn you, Y/N." He said before opening the door and leaving you to stew in your own thoughts.

The verbal banter continued throughout the trial, each argument met with a counterargument, every objection with a swift rebuttal. The tension between you two was undeniable, the courtroom atmosphere simmering with unspoken history.

Days turned into weeks, and the battle intensified. You won the case, barely, based on a technicality that you were thankful Harvey didn't catch during discovery. He'd come to your office later that day, clearly pissed about the verdict. The energy in the room turning nothing short of intense the moment he stepped foot inside. The arguing began immediately, the two of you throwing jabs left and right until Harvey took it one step too far, making it personal.

"You always were too blinded by your own stubbornness and ego to ever see the truth," Harvey retorted, his voice carrying an unexpected edge.

The words hung in the air, a sharp sting piercing through the facade of rivalry and through the high you'd had from winning the case. It was a line crossed, a jab that hit closer to home than intended. The hurt flashed across your eyes, and anger surged within, a tempest of emotions brewing beneath the surface.

"MY ego? MY stubbornness? You're one to talk, Harvey. You know why this didn't work out all those years ago and you know it wasn't all my fault. At least I never let my arrogance overshadow my competence," your voice, usually composed, held a hint of hurt.

Harvey's facade wavered, regret immediately swirling in his stomach as he realized the depth of his words. "I didn't mean... I'm sorry,"

But the damage was done, the rift between you widening with each passing moment. His apology hung in the air, sincere yet inadequate in the face of the pain it had caused.

It was later that evening when yet another knock interrupted the silence of your office. As you turned, Harvey stood in the doorway, a mixture of determination and vulnerability on his face. Without a word, he crossed the room, closing the space between you. His gaze was unwavering as he reached out, his hand cupping your cheek gently. You couldn't move, and you hardly breathed as he began speaking.

"I messed up. I messed up today when I got pissed and opened my mouth, and I messed up years ago by letting you walk away. I know that now, I guess I always have but I couldn't admit it. I can't let you walk out of my life again." Harvey's voice was earnest, devoid of the usual brashness.

Before you could respond, he leaned in. His lips met yours in a tender yet passionate kiss, one you'd been craving since the moment you left him all that time ago. In that moment, words became irrelevant as the depth of his regret and affection poured into you through the kiss.

As you pulled away breathlessly, the weight of the moment hit you both.

"I'm so sorry, Y/N, I... I shouldn't have done that, that wasn't fair to you. I just-" He stammered, but you stopped him with a gentle hand to his chest.

"Don't. Just come here" You replied, pulling him in once more and guiding his head down to yours for another kiss. You felt him smile as he ran his hands down your sides.

"I always hoped you'd come back." He whispered against your lips..

"I fought myself every day to not come running."

"Wish you would've"

"Me too"

#harvey specter x reader #harvey specter #harvey specter suits #harveyspecter #suits fics #requests open #request #suits

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algea · 6 months

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Ghoul School

prompt: you, Lucky, Phoebe, Trevor, and Lars go to investigate a spirit infested school, but ends badly for you.

Ummm basically enemies to lovers?? idrk tbh LOL

warnings: idk scary stuff? cussing! sexual tension! um you smoke 1 cigarette and thats it. GORE!!!!!!!

a/n: I’ve been thinking of this since I saw the movie…

*THIS IS A SUPER LONG STORY!!!*

“A school? Are you serious, Lars?” You mutter, running a hand down your face and sighing.

“I wish. What’s your grudge against a school anyway?” Lars said, cocking an eyebrow at you as he turned to look at you.

“Well I don’t know, maybe it’s the fact that kids still go there. It makes me sick how they have to experience that while being in an environment where it’s supposed to be safe and welcoming.” You explain, tapping your fingers nervously on your desk. Behind you, Lars sighed,

“Well that’s why we’re going innit? So stop worrying about it so much.” You snapped your head when heard the door open. In trudged a slime covered Trevor, Lucky, and Phoebe.

“Lars, I need your help with something!” Lucky called. Lars stood and strode to her, his eyes lingered on you for a little longer than they should’ve. Trevor had a proton pack on his back, which was slightly smoking from the interior.

"Piece of shit only fizzed when we tried to turn it on, know a way to fix it?" Trevor asked, gazing up at Lars. Lars' face was stone cold, probably because he had to deal with the dumb shit Trevor stirred up.

"First off, it's not a piece of shit. Second off, did you even try to figure it out?" Lars scoffed, eyebrows drawn together in a scowl.

"Give it to me, I'll see what I can do." He sighed, obviously not wanting to deal with him anymore. Trevor basically shoved the proton pack into Lars’ arms, which didn't waiver when he received it. Hot. You thought. Lars trudged to his station and set the proton pack down. He removed the protective covering, and coughed when smoke blasted in his face. You snickered, which earned an unimpressed glare from him. Lucky appeared beside you, ready to talk about what else you've come up with her to test.

"What is it?" She asked, tinkering with the item on the desk.

"You know how there's buckshot for a shotgun? I've figured out how to compress protons into little pellets and create a buckshot-type stream." You explained, showing her how it would work on a sheet of paper. You heard Lars muttering about something, though you brushed it off. You handed Lucky a few pellets, which contained about 12 rounds of buckshot each. She eagerly shot off into the test room, excited to try it out. With nothing else to do, you shuffled behind Lars, peering over his shoulder to watch his hands work efficiently. Lars really didn't know you were there, truly he didn't. So when he turned around to go get something from his desk, he jumped back.

"Good Christ you scared the shit out of me!" Lars exclaimed, putting a hand on his chest and letting out a big sigh. He shoved his glasses back up his face and ran a hand through his hair.

"I'm sorry! I just wanted to watch you work..." You trailed off, staring at the ground in embarrassment.

"Well maybe next time maybe fucking keep to yourself." He snapped, brushing past you, his hand grazing yours. You just stood there, hands clenched and cheeks burning in embarrassment. Phoebe stood next to you, putting a hand on your arm and whispering,

"It's ok, really, he doesn't mean it."

You couldn't help the tear that slithered down your cheek. Blinking away the rest of the tears, you muttered an 'excuse me' and walked outside of the lab. Taking a left, you headed through the doors to the cool breeze outside. Stuffing your hand in you pocket, your hand found purchase on the cig case you had. Sliding one out of it and grabbing your lighter, you lit the cig up and shoved the lighter back into your left pocket. You sat against the wall and pulled your knees to your chest. Hearing the doors open, you see Trevor walk out. He spots you and slides down the wall, sitting next to you.

"It's not your fault. It really isn't." Trevor offered, watching you let out a sigh, smoke going with it. You laugh, dragging a hand down your face.

"Listen, don't ever fall in love, man. Shit sucks." You sighed, resting your head against the cool brick. Trevor started to say something but the rest of the three burst through the doors. Lars was wearing his red jacket, walking towards the car. Lucky was carrying yours in her arm, right on the heels of Lars. He spotted you and Trevor sitting down against the wall. Trevor hopped up, offering you a kind hand. You took it, cigarette still in hand.

"Put that shit out." Lars commanded, crossing his arms. You glared at him before taking a long drag and blowing the smoke out. You dropped the rest on the ground, twisting your foot against it which successfully put it out.

"Happy?" You huffed, throwing your arms out in surrender. He just stared at you before pushing past you to get to the car. 'Bitch' You mutter under your breath. God he’s insufferable. Following them, you hopped into the passage seat. Lucky handed you your red jacket, which you put on before you buckled up. You zipped it up all the way burying your face in the collar. Lars watched you from his peripheral, drumming his fingers on the wheel.

“Are gonna stare or drive the goddamn car?” You snapped, turning to gaze at him. His hand tightened on the wheel and started to drive.

To say that Lars was a good driver was a pretty big overstatement. You were even lucky you made it to the school alive, much less in once piece.

“You are never ever driving again, Lars.” You said, stumbling out of the car as a wave of nausea hits you.

“Stuff it.” He replied, pushing up his broken glasses. You turned your gaze to the school, which stood ominously in the distance. You shivered, which didn’t go unnoticed by Lars. He took a small step closer to you, his hand ghosting the small of your back. You jumped slightly at his feather touch, but relished it. Lars flicked on your switch, making your proton pack hum with the familiar ‘whirring’ sound. You walked to the front steps, pushing open the two massive double wooden doors. You were blasted by a cold air, which you stumbled back from.

“S-shit.” You muttered, hands shaking ever so slightly. You reached for your flashlight, but froze when you saw a shadow figure dart through the darkness.

“Lars.” You whispered, a lump forming in your throat. Lars was off busy helping the others get their packs on, which meant you were the only one at the front. You felt something tugging you forward. You stumbled back into the school following the tugging sensation to a room downstairs.

Lars looked up, about to ask you something, when he noticed you were gone.

“Where the bloody hell did Y/N go?” He asked, looking around. His question was answered when he heard your frantic screams coming from inside of the building. They all looked at each other, then bolted to the building.

The building was absolutely freezing. That you were certain of. The frigid temperature fucked a little with your head, at least that’s what you can conclude. You found that being able to see in the dark was not your forte, which caused you to fall down a flight of stairs.

“OH FUCKING SHIT—!” You screech, tumbling down the stairs. You landed with your head cracking against the cold floor. Groaning, you tried to lift your head, but you felt like you were spinning like a top. You eventually stood, swaying slightly after. You blinked a few times, holding your head in your hands. In the corner of your eye, you could see another shadow figure. It was tall, tall enough to reach the ceiling. It started to approach you, but you let out a scream, starting to run back up the stairs. You felt a push, then you tumbled back down the stairs, smashing your head into the pavement again. You landed on your knee, successfully snapping the bone in your shin. You let out another bloodcurdling scream, spitting out blood in the process.

You felt lightheaded as blood spilled from your shin and lips, dribbling down your chin and neck. You were in too much pain to cry as you crumpled to the floor again. You heard all three of them yelling your name, but you couldn’t yell back. Instead, you pulled yourself across the floor, leaving a long streak of blood as you went. With as much effort as you could muster, you pulled yourself to the steps. It took everything for you to scream,

“LARS!!!”

Footsteps could be heard, which sounded like heavy boots clomping towards you. You clawed at the steps, trying to grip anything that you could to pull yourself up. The blond man appeared in the doorway, shining a flashlight down the stairwell. Lars hair was tousled, eyes wide. You make out how he was panting, as well as a horrified look painted across his face.

“oh my god.” Was all he said. He rushed down the stairwell to get you. You couldn’t make out much of anything, you kept fading in and out of consciousness. His hands, his strong and elegant hands held your face as he tried to keep you awake. Your breaths became labored again as you felt extreme pain rippling through your limbs. You let out another scream, which was muffled by Lars chest as he picked you up and started to rush you outside. One of his hands found purchase in your hair, gently stroking it with his thumb as he ran to the car.

Lars felt like it took years to make it to the hospital. His red jacket was drenched in your blood, but he couldn’t care less about what he looked like as he rushed you into the ER. Immediately after, you were rushed into a room, where you would reside for God knows how long. Lars sat next to Lucky, his face grim. He didn’t care how long he had to wait to see you again, just as long as he could see you. Lars stayed there all night, into the morning to be able to see you. When they told him that he could see you, he ran to your room as fast as he could. There you laid, eyes closed, face peaceful. When you heard the footsteps, you opened your eyes and found the blond man standing in your doorway.

“Bloody hell, I thought I’d never see you again.” Lars breathed as he approached your right side. Your hand lay limp on the top of the bedsheet. He brought up a chair and sat, taking your hand and lacing his fingers with yours.

“I was so scared that you were going to die, I couldn’t bear to see it.” He further explained. You smiled weakly and croaked,

“Are you being nice right now? That’s so unlike you Lars.”

Before you said anything else, Lars pressed a kiss to your lips. It wasn’t your ideal first kiss with him, but you relished the feeling.

“I didn’t save you because I thought it was the good thing to do, I saved you because I love you.” Lars whispered, his nose brushing yours.

“God I love you too, Lars.” You whispered back.

#ghostbusters frozen empire #ghostbusters x reader #ghostbusters #lars pinfield x reader #lars pinfield #james acaster #lars pinfield x you

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demilypyro · 1 year

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Okay since this doesn't seem to want to go away here's me addressing every single "allegation" that I've heard about. I hope to have at least given a good explanation where the horrible things being said about me came from, and why I consider them either just totally not true or badly misconstrued. Some of my friends have recommended I don't say anything at all, but I've always preferred openness and honesty, so I hope that's appreciated.

I understand that some people will still dislike me even though the things being said about me are not true. That's fine. I don't need everyone to like me, but it's when I'm being consistently harassed and lied about that it interferes with my mental health and ability to work. So I'm gonna try and end things with this.

"She's racist"

From what I can tell this is about one time when I said I keep my interest in anime to myself around new people. I do this because showing you're a Huge Fucking Nerd right off the bat can make a bad impression. I could have said the same thing about Star Trek or comic books, I just happened to be talking about anime in that moment. Someone seems to have misconstrued this as me finding Japanese culture something shameful and lesser than other cultures?... Which I would call a total willful misinterpretation. The rest of this seems to stem just from being Dutch, because the Netherlands is a country that has a problem with xenophobia. This is true, but uhhh I'm mixed myself so I'm pretty well aware of that, and I obviously don't support our infamous "blackface holiday." Just because I live here doesn't mean I agree with everything this country does, be that historically or in the modern day.

"She's friends with racists/misogynists/transphobes"

The only thing I can guess this is about is when I was mutuals with a user called porko-rosso at least 5 years ago and didn't really believe it when people told me they were a bigot. I haven't interacted with this user in over 4 years but people still claim we're like best friends, which was never true in the first place, we just knew a lot of the same people. Most of the resentment from the people who repeatedly spread these rumours about me seems to have started here. So for the record: no, I am not friends with any racists, misogynists or transphobes.

"She thinks she's better than other trans women because she passes better"

This is just not true. This idea seems to pop up just whenever I post about enjoying the benefits of HRT or surgery, but most recently this was misconstrued from a post where I said being trans is about being yourself as much as possible. Since this was in response to someone saying that me trying to pass is "erasing my identity", people thought I meant trying to pass is the same as being good at being trans, which was not what I meant, but some people didn't seem to want to believe me when I clarified. My apologies for the misunderstanding I guess, but that's all it was. So no, I do not hate people who don't pass as well as I do, nor do I think all trans people should be transitioning medically, and I resent the implication.

"She has a secret discord server where she makes fun of pictures of other trans women and calls them slurs"

I had absolutely no clue what this was about when I first heard it. I was sent screenshots that supposedly prove this but all they show is me being rude about someone's appearance one time in january of 2022. I actually thought these were faked because I don't remember this happening and the things said confused me, but one of my friends says she found it was in her server, where she had showed a picture of someone and asked everyone present (mostly other trans women) if they were hot. Apparently I did not think they were hot. So yes, I did insult someone's appearance back in january 2022, but it was an isolated incident. Frankly even I find my remarks in these screenshots distasteful, I don't know what I was on when I wrote that stuff. I'm sorry to that person specifically. What I said has weighed heavily on me and I apologize for it. It's not something I approve of, and don't intend to repeat that mistake. Still, to say it means I hate trans women and I love to make fun of them in my secret discord server and call them slurs is just... a super-villain level of exaggeration. I didn't even know about the word that was named as an example. It's not true.

"She's often rude"

I can't deny this one. Autism gonna autism. I've seen many therapists, doctors, experts, what have you, to try and help me with this, but it seems my particular brand of autistic in combination with the cultural differences between mine and other countries just really often ends with my foot in my mouth when I speak English. I apologize! I have never meant to personally offend anyone. It just keeps happening and I can't stop it from happening.

If after reading all this, you still consider me bad enough to hate my guts, I can't stop you, but I wanted to have at least had my say. I swear that everything in this post is the honest truth as I understand it, and that I've never acted with purposeful malicious intent.

#and yes feel free to reblog and share #demilypyro #demily pyro

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tokyo-daaaamn-ji-gang · 6 months

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shion headcanons, perhaps???

Yeah I've got some! (Also love how with the way the scedules gone this has coincidentally ended up being answered on his birthday, at least in Japan)

Has a black dragons tattoo somewhere

Didn't get his scar from a fight but from him having a clumsy accident (he tells everyone it was a fight)

Actually heard about and looked up to the black dragons, when he met Wakasa, Takeomi and Benkei he thought they were going to happy to meet him too.

Dropped out of school, he didn't see any point in attending anymore.

Loves head pats

Sometimes gets a little jealous of Kakucho when he sees how close he is to Izana.

Never did find out the truth about Rindou playing around with him, still thinks he's very respectful towards him.

Doesn't like licking blood but likes the reactions from people when he does it.

Loves his mad dog nickname, brings it up often.

Visits Izana's grave often after he died.

Refuses to admit he has stomach issues, instead he insists he has an iron stomach.

Plays with the kids he works with A lot in the good timeline, will get on the floor to play horsey happily and even dresses up with the girls for tea parties.

Couldn't read the room when it came to South, he thought they were good friends.

If he loses a competition like arm wrestling then he'll say he went easy on them

Became good friends with Yamagishi in the good timeline. Yamagishi was excited to meet the 9th gen black dragons captain and Shion was excited to meet a "fan".

Was very unsure about joining kmg because of his history with Mikey but wanted to stay with the other S62 members

Is a very good driver, he spent a lot of time practising

He uses a knuckle duster because as a kid he was beaten up with one by a gang member, he then learnt to use them too in order to take revenge. Him beating that gang member and taking his knuckle dusters is what first got him known in the delinquent world.

Wants an actual dog (in the good timeline he does end up taking in a street dog. She's very small and fluffy and Shion babies her. She's nothing like a "mad dog")

Badly wants a romantic partner, loves the idea of dating someone and someone loving him with him loving them back.

Is the friend in the group chat to be constantly left on read

Got into a drinking contest with Rindou once, he ended up passing out.

Both his black dragons uniforms are hung up in his bedroom on display.

Likes watching movies a lot, when he does start dating someone he takes them on lots of movie dates.

Would also take his partner to festivals and spend ages playing the games to try and win them a plushie. He's not very good but he is persistant.

His phone wallpaper is a group picture of tenjiku

#i mean it's not his birthday here yet but it is Japan so I'll take that as a fun coincidence #tokyo revengers #tokrev #tokyo rev #shion madarame #madarame shion #tokyo revengers spoilers

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fellthemarvelous · 8 months

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Invisible scars

(TW: religious trauma)

Looking at me, you wouldn't know that I've survived religious trauma. The marks of religious trauma are seldom visible. In fact, I had no idea for the longest time that I had religious trauma (I thought it was a thing that happened to other people). I simply spent decades questioning the reasons I felt like I was so broken on in the inside. I kept trying to figure out what I was doing wrong and why I never felt happy or like I was never able to connect to anyone. I had no idea that my experience with the church as a small child is what shaped me into the anxiety-ridden, majorly depressed disaster creature I am today.

I spent 12 years learning inside of Catholic schools. It has taken me more than 20 years to process and deconstruct, and I am always going to be a work in progress. I was brainwashed into believing the very worst about myself, and I was always just beyond saving because I had the misfortune of being a woman in a church that taught us that women experience pain during childbirth as a natural consequence of Eve eating the apple, which is why they enjoy making us suffer in the first place. They taught us that Adam ate the apple because Eve seduced him, so even though Adam also ate the apple, his sin still wasn't as bad as Eve's because she did it first and used sex to get him to do the same. They placed the blame for Original Sin squarely on Eve and thus onto every single girl who entered the church. If a boy did something to me that I didn't like, it's probably because I did something to provoke him first.

Do you know what I learned to do at a very young age just to be able to cope with that?

I learned to use humor to deflect when I was struggling. I smile when I don't want people to know I'm sad. I laugh at inappropriate times, especially when I'm uncomfortable. I learned to bottle up all of my emotions because expressing anything other than happiness is bad. I learned to compartmentalize. I taught myself how to pull out the right emotion for the right occasion because I was always striving to be who I thought everyone else wanted me to be. It was exhausting.

In the midst of all of this, I'm trying to figure out which parts of me are really me and which parts of me are things that were put into my head. If you've experienced indoctrination, you know what I'm talking about. They pulled us apart as small children and placed us in specific boxes and told us that deviating from the norm was bad.

Crowley is a fallen angel. His change from angel to demon is drastic on the outside.

You know he fell and that his wings turned black and he ended up in a pool of boiling sulfur. It's the reason Crowley is so easy to sympathize with. He suffered unfairly because of arbitrary rules that deemed him unforgivable. He's accepted that part of himself. He's clever and creative and it has helped him find ways to get out of doing his job for centuries. Hell doesn't care how jobs get done just as long as someone does them, and at this point humanity is doing more to damn themselves than the demons are able to keep up with. They're tired and overworked. Hell is overpopulated even though it should be infinite in size. Crowley wants no part of that system because he sees it for what it is, just as he sees Heaven for what it is. He has the marks to prove that he is one of the damned, but that has given him all the perspective he needs to see that both sides are fucked up and toxic and "irredeemable" (just like him). He has yet to fully let go of the hold Heaven has over him because of how badly he got hurt.

Aziraphale is still an angel.

He never fell, and he doesn't know why. He has lied to God. He has lied to Gabriel repeatedly. He lies to protect Crowley. He lies to protect humanity.

Remember, Crowley and Aziraphale started off in the same place.

They both started off as angels who were created to do God's bidding. Aziraphale is the one who told Crowley what he'd heard about everything shutting down in 6,000 years. He was simply trying to make conversation. He didn't think it was something Crowley would object to. Angels were just supposed to go along with God's plans, but Crowley had a different opinion and was vocal about it. Where did Aziraphale get his information in the first place? Why does nobody ever ask this question?

Aziraphale knows Heaven is toxic. He's not blind. We need to move past this idea that because he still has love for God that he doesn't know Heaven is fucked up. He never fell, and it's something he still fears because who the hell doesn't fear the thought of eternal torment, especially if you know it's real? God has never cast him out of Heaven though and he doesn't know why. It's probably something that hangs over his head like the Sword of Damocles.

Letting go is not an easy task. Aziraphale has always been an angel. He didn't have his identity ripped from him the same way that Crowley did. Crowley had to adapt to a brand new way of existing because he was cast out of Heaven.

Crowley's trauma is evident on the outside. Aziraphale's trauma is hidden on the inside. Just because you can't see it doesn't mean it isn't there.

Crowley was an angel and then he was a demon, but he doesn't want to be labeled as either.

Aziraphale has only ever known how to be an angel. He's only ever known the ways of Heaven.

I'm only in my early 40s. It has taken me 20+ years to undo 12 years of religious abuse. Aziraphale is immortal. He and Crowley have abandoned their jobs, but four years in the space of millions isn't a lot. No one overcomes indoctrination in four years. Especially when you had millions of years of blind obedience indoctrinated into you. It simply does not work that way no matter how much you want to believe it can.

It has taken me more than two decades to learn how to stop hating myself. I still have no idea how to love myself, but it's something I'm trying to learn.

My entire identity was wrapped up in what the church told me it would be. Once I fully denounced it and all organized religion, I found out I had no idea who I was. No one had prepared me for a life outside of this one very specific identity and role that I was expected to fill based on a very specific box I was placed into.

I still struggle with black and white concepts. It's hard to unlearn when you have no other basis for comparison, but that doesn't mean it's impossible. It means that these changes do not and will not ever happen overnight.

The fall didn't just affect the demons though. It affected the angels as well. Look at how tightly wound the angels are. They're always trying to do the good thing, but they have no idea what that actually means, and you realize this when Uriel asks The Metatron if they had done something wrong. They are scared of making mistakes, but none of them know what they are supposed to be doing since Gabriel disrupted the status quo. You can see they are unsure of themselves and of each other. The concept of free will is so foreign to them, but Aziraphale showed all of them that it was in their grasp when he allowed Gabriel and Beelzebub to decide where to go so they could be together.

It takes a lot of audacity (and sheer ignorance) to dismiss Aziraphale as power-hungry and abusive.

Aziraphale did nothing to punish Gabriel and Beelzebub. He allowed them to leave because they were in love with each other, and he knows what that feels like. He thought he was about to get the same fate with Crowley until The Metatron showed up and refused to take no for an answer.

He doesn't want to fix Heaven because he thinks it's perfect. If he thought it was perfect he wouldn't want to fix it.

Aziraphale is going back into the Lion's Den. He knows what he's going up against. He's been humiliated and belittled and abused by Heaven for thousands of years.

His scars are there even though you can't see them, and he hides his pain with humor and silliness.

When I see people advocating for Aziraphale to suffer even more because they don't think he has suffered enough, I find myself sitting back in one of those classrooms in Catholic school being told that I deserve the bad things that happen to me because I somehow failed to measure up to some impossible metric. The cruelty of that mindset aimed at Aziraphale is kinda the reason Crowley hates Heaven in the first place because he's been there too.

And as someone who is processing religious trauma, it's disheartening to see people say that because Aziraphale has yet to fully let go of Heaven that he deserves harsher treatment. Crowley would definitely not agree with that sentiment.

#good omens #crowley #aziraphale #religious trauma #ex catholic #i don't know if this makes sense #i know the discourse on religious trauma is already another thing in this fandom #but this is how i process #deconstructing isn't fucking easy

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buckyalpine · 2 years

Note

Do I already have an ask with you? I don't care lol I have a good one...

You and bucky are insatiable for each other, that's not to say you don't have your soft moments because you do. You're the only one who truly understands him, aside from Steve. But there are things he's shared with you that he could never burden Steve with... I mean, he's the one who always protected him and he got really good at masking his emotions and putting up a strong front even before the war. Anywho, you don't know what's gotten into you two, maybe it's the summer heat, or perhaps that time of the month is nearing, either way, extra insatiable. You're on each other almost every hour of the day... Waking him with soft kisses as you ride him slowly before his morning, cornering him in the shower after his morning run. I did mention he's just as insatiable, pulling you into the nearest room after the morning briefing (Sorry Nat), boxing you in his arms in the deep end of the pool during your afternoon swim..it's like the possibility of being caught adds to the need for each other's bodies... I mean the team is eyeing each other as he not so secretly grinds against your backside while ordering drinks at Tonys party, and later pulls you into his lap where you not so discretely grind against him and he kisses your shoulder and neck, until finally someone makes a comment and Bucky pulls you to the bathroom for a quicky, but you need more and you're dragging him straight to you room after. Of course that earns another comment form tony ahah

18+

Hell yes to all of this. Look, I wanted to start this off with the trope of a wholesome cute slow build up where they share meaningful moments and then gradually grow closer before going at it like rabbits. Like they build a solid friendship first and after some slow burn, they end up falling in love.

BUT.

What if instead, it doesn't start off with so much soft wholesomeness. It starts off spicy. Steve is many things to Bucky, takes care of him from day one but one thing Steve can't help with is how touch starved Bucky is.

Bucky can't even bring himself to tell anyone how badly he needs to be touched and it does not fucking help that he's insanely attracted to one of his teammates, with only his right hand to bring him some relief. The biggest issue is Bucky typically retches at physical touch; he didn't even like people in his personal space. Then he saw you. Suddenly, a deep need he had buried away for years grew stronger than ever.

His relationship with you is fine, he's comfortable with you. One thing that always catches him off guard is how easy it is to talk to you; you're so open and understanding. Again. It does not help that he finds you fucking gorgeous. (He’s also awful at taking hints, so he doesn’t realize you’re just as attracted to him)

After a late night workout, he decides to join you while your stretching out on the mat and the topic of conversation moves onto something a little more...interesting. Bucky is laughing along with you while you tell him a story about online dating aps.

"Wasn't like this in the 40's" Bucky shakes his head, thinking about how he wouldn’t have dared to demand sex at the end of a date, under any circumstance.

"Hmm, how different is it from then to now from your perspective, like sex and dating"

"Based on what I've heard, people are a lot more open about it, things are way more casual now”

You nodded while continuing to stretch, hardly realizing Bucky was internally fighting with himself not to stare at you.

"Do you have any preferences? Anything you like now or then?”

Bucky fidgeted with his fingers, now not meeting your eyes for a different reason.

"Back then was nice, went on a few dates, took girls dancing mostly..”

“What about now?”

“Oh, I-um- never...dated...in this century?

Bucky blinked at you like a lost puppy, he hadn’t been on a single date since he was free from being the winter soldier. You blinked right back, unable to understand how he, of all people, had gone this long without dating fucking. You understood that he probably had boundaries and trust issues but still him...

"You've...so you've never been with anyone since?"

Bucky shook his head, a deep blush covering his cheeks, his breath hitching when you sat closer to him.

“Is-is that something you’re okay with?” Your voice was a whisper, your heart beating faster when Bucky slowly shook his head, his eyes now locked with yours.

“I-I need...”

"Tell me what you need"

"Need to be touched..."

"Show me where"

He took your hand, guiding it down to his aching boner, nearly whimpering when he felt your hand grasp him.

"H-here"

You bit back a moan, feeling his cock throb. Bucky’s body moved on its own, tugging his shorts down just enough to free his cock. Your hand wrapped around his shaft, slowly stroking him while his head was thrown back, a long satisfied moan slipping from his lips.

"Tell me what you need baby"

“Everything”

****

After that, you were both insatiable for each other. Fucking everywhere, on every surface possible. But there was also something else brewing there. After sex, he's so soft and vulnerable, snuggling and nuzzling into you while clinging onto your body. You explain what after care is to him and ask him what he enjoys; he loves when you play with his hair and he loves when your hands graze his back. He’s too shy to openly say it but naked cuddles with you are his absolute favorite. In these moments, he opens up about anything and everything. Thing's even Steve doesn't know about. He tells you about his nightmares; you've even comforted him through a few of them when you both end up falling asleep.

Mornings are spent wrapped in each others warmth; sometimes you wake him gently with soft kisses, riding him, telling him how beautiful he looks, how perfect he fills you up. Other times he’s on top of you, his hips grinding against you, not chasing orgasms; no. he doesn’t want to leave your warmth any time soon and you don’t want to be away from him either, soft moans and locked eyes, edging each other until neither of you can hold back any longer.

It didn’t matter that this new routine also made you both late for morning briefings. You couldn’t keep your hands off him and he couldn’t keep his hands off you.

Whenever Bucky sees you, his lips are on you, hand up your shirt, stroking the soft skin of your waist. You’re both always looking over your shoulder to make sure no one sees you, but it only adds to how badly you want each other.

After a run

He closes his eyes, letting the hot water relax his muscles after his morning run, smirking when he hears the click of his bedroom door. You saunter into his bathroom, stripping your clothes off and pulling the curtain back, your eyes shamelessly raking up and down his naked body.

“Hi Sergeant” You step into the shower, backing him against the tiled wall, your body pressed on his.

“Breaking into my room now, huh?” He smirked, his arms snaking around to grab the backs of your thighs, lifting you so your legs wrap around his waist. You gasp when he turns around, slamming you against the wall, his cock pressed against your needy pussy. “Naughty slut”

“James...”

“Shhh” Bucky nips your earlobe before shoving his cock into you in a single stroke, not giving you any adjustment time, his hips snapping against your ass. Cardio round 2.

Morning Briefings

Yes hes a trained assassin but he’s struggling with his focus, his mind thinking about how pretty you’d look naked, bent over that table, screaming for him, or if he had you pressed up against the ceiling high windows, for all of New York to see how well you took his thick fat co-

“Barnes!”

Bucky blinked, feeling an eraser bounce of his head while Tony shook his head, repeating that he’d be paired with you for an up coming mission while Steve would be paired with Nat. He just nods yes to everything, hoping to get this meeting over with so he can have you.

“Alright, dismissed, unless you have any-

“Nope” Bucky shot out of his seat, grabbing you by the arm and heading off to the nearest office room. “Let talk about the mission y/n” The rest of the team stared at each other before shrugging, Bucky never cared about going over mission details before but stranger things had happened.

“Really Barnes? You want to talk about the mission?” You sass, while Bucky bites his lip, locking the door and bending you over the large wooden desk.

“I actually do” He smirked, throwing the file onto the table before hiking your skirt up and bringing your panties down. You hear him unbuckle his pants, gasping as soon as you feel the blunt tip of his cock nudge against your soaked entrance. “You’re gonna read the mission details doll” You moan loudly as he plunges into you, your hips bouncing against the table, his cock rubbing against your cervix “Every. Single. Detail”

While your swimming

You gasped, feeling two strong arms come up from behind you, pushing you against the tiled wall of the pool.

“Dragă....”

He was insatiable, having watched you long enough in your tiny bathing suit, swimming laps, making his cock unnecessarily hard. You knew by the name he called you, he was desperate for you, his cock straining in his shorts. Your breath shuddered as Bucky caged you between his arms, water droplets clinging off his shoulders, lips brushing against yours.

“Someone might see us James” You whispered, your legs floating up to wrap around his waist, your hands resting on his chest.

“Then let them see” He licked your neck, sucking little bruises along your collar bone, his boner pressed right against you, “Let them see how you scream for me, prinţesă, all the pretty noises you make for me”

He pulls the strings of your bathing suit off, groaning at your naked body under the water.

“Hmm, much better”

Tony’s Party

You sipped on your drink at the bar while the team placed their orders, smirking when you feel him come up behind you, his hands coming to rest on your waist. You teasingly brush your ass onto him but he wastes no time pushing himself right back on you, practically grinding himself on you.

“You look pretty baby” He whispered by your ear, his hips still moving against you, one hand gripping onto your waist while he grabs his drink from the bartender. You squeak when he grips you more firmly to come and sit with him, his hand resting on your hip, easily pulling you into his lap once you both get to the lounge area.

“Hi” You feel your skin heat up, sitting this closely to him, the scent of his cologne making it hard for you to focus on anything else happening around you. His hand ghosts over your waist, resting on the side of your thigh, tracing shapes along your skin.

“Hi” He bites back a smirk, adjusting himself, making your eyes widen when you feel...something...

“Bucky, there’s something-

He pulls you even closer, pressing a kiss to your shoulder, holding your hips to keep you from squirming on his lap.

“Shhh, that’s all me prinţesă”

Your stomach flips, feeling his hard length pressing further against you, A wicked idea flashes through your mind, letting your hips grind on him, innocently vibing to the music. You giggle to yourself when you feel his cock throb, gasping when he holds you still again, giving your neck the slightest nip.

“Keep that up baby, might just have to take you right here, right now”

You smiled, taking it as a challenge, grinding on him a little harder, giggling when you heard a growl from his chest. Meanwhile, the team all side eyed each other, watching Bucky’s composure fall apart, his lips kissing your neck, hands gripping your waist, cheeks flushed, while you sipped your drink, the both of you in your own world.

“Keep that up y/n, and you’re gonna make terminator blow a gasket” Tony snorted, his eyes growing wide when you shifted off his Bucky’s lap slightly, his cock straining against his pants “Jesus Christ Barnes, you should come with a warning label”

“Fuck this” Bucky groaned, lifting you off, ready to drag you to the bathroom for a quicky because at this point his cock was leaking and throbbing and he was sure he was going to cum in his pants.

“Where you guys going, huh?” Sam cackled, watching the flustered super soldier desperately cling onto you.

“Bathroom...” Bucky’s eyes were only focused on you, his hand around your wrist, he would have taken you on the floor right then and there if possible.

“You both need to go to the bathroom?” Nat cocked an eyebrow, narrowing her eyes at you both.

“Need my girl” Bucky shrugged, but before he could take you, you stopped him.

“Nuh uh” You shook your head, grabbing him by his dog tags, pulling him in the direction of the elevators to go upstairs instead. “My room Barnes”

“Your girl, huh?” Sam wiggled his eye brows as the team grinned, watching you both. You yelped when Bucky tossed you over his shoulder, spanking you before entering the elevator.

“Yeah, my girl”

“I’m your girl now?” you giggled, while he kissed the side of your ass, still keeping you over his shoulder.

“Always baby”

“DON’T HURT YOURSELF Y/N, HE’S BUILT LIKE A HORSE”

Tags:

@glxwingrxse @hungryyeyess @sebsgirl71479 @beabutterfly987 @teambarnes72 @witchywhore @jamesbuckybarneswify @slutforsexyseabass @chrisdrysdale @littlemarvelmenfan @buggy14 @whimsyplaty92 @sergntbarnes @inkedaztec @pono-pura-vida @moonlightreader649 @brooklynscherry-z @elle14-blog1 @justsebstan @littlelightnings @psychomanniac-blog @happyt0exist @emmabarnes @bethyruth @matchat3a @cjand10 @getwellsoontana @cherryschaos @lokisasgardianvampirequeen @ashenc-blog @buckybarnessimpp @potatothots @goldylions @high-functioning-lokipath @morganemorganite-blog @kingfleury @peaches1958 @spiderman-stilinski @peaceinourtime82 @gublur @wintersmelodie @geeky-politics-46 @lolawassad @almosttoopizza @a-poor-gryffindork @alternativeprincess @buckycallsmeaslut @kamaria-sweet-writes @charmedbysarge @xnorthstar3x @kryoee7 @alina02 @gh0stgurl @batprincess1013 @polishprincess999 @jessybarnes

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barcalover86 · 9 months

Text

The unheard story.

A never-ending friendship.

Chapter One

"Sweet 18, love!" your mom smiled at you seeing the clock hitting midnight.

"Thank you."

You went to hug your parents and little sister tight, feeling more emotional than you would have wanted to.

You couldn't lie, you were scared.. really scared to turn this age. It wasn't much different than 5 minutes ago when you were still 17, but it felt like right now it was more pressure on your shoulders.

You weren't a kid anymore.

You are now an adult who has to manage things on her own and be able to overcome any challenge life will subject you to.

You were an independent girl even since you were little, so having to do things alone wasn't a big problem for you. It's just the pressure to disappoint your family that affects you badly.

On the other side, turning 18 had its goods.

Tomorrow you'll travel with your best friend, Bia, to your most beloved city. Barcelona.

Since you were kids, you two were big fans of football, going to every game you could attend to. Of course, it wasn't the same to be on a small stadion like the one from your town, or to be on Camp Nou.

You could imagine how much of a big difference it would be.

And you couldn't be more excited that now you will be able to make a dream come true. Just like you and Bia planed for years.

Travelling to Barcelona.. just the two of you.

..................................................................................

You absolutely hated to wake up early in the morning, especially when last night you didn't have a great sleep.

All kinds of nerves were starting to be fueled in your body because of how nervous you were.

But before you entered the plane, you promised yourself that this journey would have to be memorable.

"Are you ready to begin a new chapter, birthday girl?" Bia asked you with the biggest smile on her face.

"I think I am." you replied, taking her hand in yours.

Now.. let's be for real. Summer in Barcelona doesn't sound that bad. Right?

..................................................................................

The day you arrived in Spain was a really hot one, so you couldn't do much, but to stay inside your hotel room until the night will come.

Now come one, you expected to have a hot summer in Barcelona, but you didn't imagine that 45° C were even possible.

And of course, you didn't check the weather before. You always forget to do that.

You were chatting in your hotel room until you started to be hungry. You couldn't eat in the building, because you decided to book something that had no lunch, so that you could enjoy your visiting more, but now all you could do was go outside to grab something, because you were starving.

After minutes of choosing an outfit, you and Bia arrived into the new world.

A lot of people were walking outside like the weather was perfect, and you were so shocked by that. They must really hate cold, then.

After walking for some minutes, you decided to go to a terrace to eat a pizza.

"So, it's still available that tomorrow we go watch the game?" Bia asked you, and you instantly nodded.

"Where do you want to book the tickets? Sector A, or no. I've heard that many people recommend Sector H."

"Bia.. what about we go to the VIP Section?"

"What? Do you know how expansive it is? 1200-1300 euros per person! We will go outside of our budget, y/n!"

You look down.

"Look, it's our first game at Camp Nou. Let's make it special. Money come and go, but experiencing a Barca game for the first time right at the vip section is unforgettable. We'll manage to get the money back, but please, Bia.."

She thinks for a second, before she agrees.

"Ok, maybe you're right."

"Thank you!!" you hugged her, being really excited. "You won't regret it."

..................................................................................

The day has come, and even if there were 7 more hours until the game begins, you two started to get ready.

Taking a shower, doing your hair and makeup, and, of course, choosing the best outfit.

You didn't have an original Barca jersey, but when you were 15, your best friend made two white hoodies with a big Barca sign on its left.

Maybe it was cheap, but you loved it!

So, as an outfit, you chose the hoodie, with nothing underneath because it was really hot outside, and some black jeans.

As shoose, your favourite white nikes.

With a simple makeup and your natural straight hair, you were ready to attempt the game.

"I'm so excited, you have no idea."

"Me too, I can't believe that- wait."

She looks at you confused.

"What?"

"If we're standing at the vip section, it means that cameras will also be on us."

"Oh. We'll be famous then!" Bia laughs.

..................................................................................

Everyone was pushing everyone, and it was really hard to walk through the crowd, so you had to take your best friend's hand so you could stay together.

As a vip culer, you could enter camp nou more easily, but of course, you had to take a lot of pictures, especially since the sunset was luminating your faces so well. You were truly beautiful.

When you stepped into the stadium.. man.. it was more beautiful than you ever dreamed of.

"Bia, we have to take a lot of photos!!!! It's so pretty out here!"

Your best friend was out of words. Finally, you got to see Barca play live together. It was all you ever wished for.

You were so happy that you started to jump around and to sing the anthem, without realising that the players were coming to warm up already.

All of them looked at how happy you were, and even some of them chuckled at your excitement.

"We have to enjoy our time here, y/n. Who knows when we'll be here again."

You started to laugh hard at how silly you two were acting.

"Look, that's Fermin!!!! Sexy boy!"

"Shhh, someone might hear you, Bia!!"

"Who cares??"

"Me?? You're embarrassing ourselves!" you started to laugh again.

"Look, y/n!! Your boy, Gavi." she said like she didn't listen to me at all.

"Where?"

"Right next to Lewandowski, at his right. He has the ball on his head."

You look carefully, searching for the footballers, and when you see Pablo Gavi, you immediately blush.

"Look who's got all red." she started to tease you, which she loved to do so.

When the players went off the field, you looked at Gavi to see that he was having some nerves.

When they came back 5 minutes later, you shouted loudly, "Good luck, boys. I know you can do it!"

Every player looked up to see you, and they all smiled at you and some of them like Balde and Araujo, even waved at you.

But your eyes were only fixed on Gavi's. And not to be delusional, but you kinda saw that he smiled at you.

The game versus Mallorca began and you all sat down to watch the boys play.

The atmosphere was purely amazing, and you felt like you belonged there. People cheering on Barca affected your mood a lot, and you started to feel much better and alive.

At first, you thought that Mallorca wasn't a big 'enemy' for Barcelona, but the game was so intense that you just couldn't get bored.

A lot of yellow cards were given to players from both teams, and even a player from Mallorca got a red one.

It was minute 90+3 when Cancelo scored the winning goal, and everyone was standing up, shouting happily.

"No way, I love you, Cancelo!!! My boyyy!" Bia started to laugh hard.

Oh, how happy everyone was.

In the end, the anthem began again, and now you started to sing like it was no tomorrow.

The players came close to you to sign people's jearsies and to take as well some photos for the fans.

"C'mon, let's go, y/n. I want a picture with Fermin too."

You laughed, but inside, you felt really nervous.

When Lewandowski came to you two, he smiled and took a picture.

"Thank you so much. Congratulations on the win." Bia said.

"Thank you for being here, culers. Do you want me to sign something for you? A jersey?"

"We don't have a jersey, but thank you." Bia also replied, because you were really shy now.

Lewa took his off and gave it to your best friend, which she happily accepted, before he asked for Gavi.

"Gavi, come here quick."

After signing some last shirts, the boy came to where you were standing, confused.

"Do you want a photo? Let me finish there first and I'll come, ok?"

"No, no, Gavi. Can you please give this girl your jersey. She doesn't have one, and I already gifted mine."

He looks at you and smiled.

"What's your name?"

"Y/n."

"Ok, y/n. I remember you from the beginning of the game when you wished us good luck, so I hope this will also bring you luck." he said before taking his jersey off to give it to you.

You couldn't not stare at his beautiful body, and he saw that, asking you if you wanna take a photo together.

After you three took it, he signed his jersey, before freezing.

"Oh, wait. You'll have to wash it because it's all sweaty so I can't sign it for you. I'm sorry."

"Don't be, it's ok."

"No, no. The next game will be on Wednesday. Wash it, and we'll meet here so that I can sign it for you. I'm suspended because of my yellow card today, so I will be just here. Is it ok for you?" he asked.

"Yes, it's ok." you replied too quick and he went back to sign some other shirts.

"Y/n!! Look, I'm really happy that you got his jersey, but we don't have the money to come here next game too!"

Bia was really frustrated, and you understood her. But it was your chance to talk again with Gavi.

"I know, Bia, but please! Just this time, and then we'll get the cheapest tickets after."

"Y/n, with this vip ticket we already spend the money for 1 week!"

"I am capable of no eating for 4 days.. please.."

She takes a second before she replies.

"Just because I love you."

You smile and hug her.

"Thank you so much, Bia. It means the world to me!"

#fc barca #fc barcelona #football #pablo gavi #pablo gavira #pablo martín páez gavira #gavi #gavi imagine #gavi x reader #gavi x yn #gavi x you #pablo gavi x reader #pablo gavi imagine #boy pablo #pablo gavi x y/n #pablo gavi x you

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urcatslitterbox · 1 year

Note

You should do a never have I ever with colby and they are home alone and get bored so they decide to drink and play it and one thing leads to another where they end up sleeping with each other and confessing their love

Never have I ever…

Colby brock x fem!reader smut

Cw: smut, daddy kink, p n v, unprotected sex (be safe!), (breeding???), let me know if I missed anything!

A/n: omg I’m so sorry this took literal years to come out. This is my first time writing something like this so I’m sorry if it sucks. Also I began writing this before sam and Katrina broke up so that’s why they are together in this.

“God I’m so bored” Colby groaned throwing himself onto the couch opposite of where I was sitting.

Sam and Katrina had gone out on a date night, leaving the house to Colby and me for the night. I was quite bored myself so I offered up a suggestion. “We could play a game?” he thought for a moment he decided it was a good idea. “Alright, like what?” he asked, “anything that involves drinking, I've had a looong week” I joked. Colby got off the couch heading into the kitchen, there was a rattling before he returned to the living room. In his hands were two wine glasses and a bottle of red. He sat on the rug of the living room and patted the floor telling me to join him. I sat down, still opposite him and he handed me a glass. “Do you have a game or are we just going to drink on the floor?” I teased. Colby smiled, filling my glass. “We're gonna play never have I ever, but instead of putting down a finger we take a drink” he said. “Ok, I'll start,” I said, thinking of what to say. “Ok never have I ever snuck out,” I said. Colby’s eyes widened slightly, “what!? You're kidding, you've never snuck out?” he asked in disbelief. I smiled knowing he would have to drink, “nope, I was a good kid” I stated. “Come on now drink up brock” I smirked, he rolled his eyes before taking a sip of his wine. “Ok, my turn, never have I ever..” he trailed off thinking of how he could get me to drink. “Called my friend to fake an emergency so I could get out of a bad date” he said with a cocky look on his face. “That's not fair you're targeting me!” Colby just laughed, signalling me to take a drink.

As the night went on Colby and I got progressively tipsier. “Ok ok I have one, never have I ever worn handcuffs for any reason” I grinned knowing for a fact that Colby has been in handcuffs, perhaps more than once. He narrowed his eyes at me before finishing off what was left in his glass. As he poured himself more he went his turn. “Since we’re playing that game, never have I ever given a lap dance” he said calmly. I felt my face flush as I took a sip from my glass. Colby’s eyebrows raised for a moment before dropping. “Never have I ever done it in a pool” I said, understanding what this had turned into. He drank from his glass before leaning closer to me. “ I find that hard to believe y/n/n” he said quietly. I returned the gesture, leaning in as well, not wanting to seem intimidated by our close proximity. “Just because you can't keep it in your pants and have to have sex everywhere doesn't mean everyone else does too” I teased. Colby scoffed, “ok, never have I ever masturbated when people are home” he said. I felt my face get hot, I didn't think anyone was home when I did, but I was wrong. “Well, never have I ever listened in on someone you creep” I fought. He just smirked, “it's hard not to when you make those pretty sounds” he whispered, staring into my eyes. My cheeks were on fire at this point, I looked away to avoid his intense gaze. “Never have I ever wanted to kiss you so badly..” I heard him say. I looked back at him our faces mere centimetres apart. I leaned closer closing the gap between us in a soft kiss. Colby held my head in place as he deepened the once-soft kiss turning it into something hotter.

We made out sloppily, the wine and game long forgotten. Colby began to lean me back onto the rug, moving his lips to my neck. He sucked deep bruises from my neck to my collar before kissing back up to my ear. My breath got deeper as my heart raced. Truth be told I've liked Colby for some time now and the fact that he was on top of me made my core heat up. I let out soft whimpers as I tugged on his shirt wanting it off. He pulled away ripping his shirt off of him before heading towards mine. He looked to confirm that I was ok with this, I nodded wanting to feel him already. He practically tore it off of me then my pants followed, adding to the mess of clothes in the room. Colby sat back admiring me. I began to feel self conscious and tried to hide my body. “Don’t hide yourself from me, you’re so beautiful”, he whispered as he grabbed my arms that were shielding my body. He kissed me passionately and his lips trailed down to my breast. He pulled my nipple into his mouth sucking harshly. I moaned at the feeling as he did the same to the other one. “God baby I’m so hard for you..I need to be inside you, I can��t wait any longer.” He groaned lining the head of his cock up with entrance. He pushed in slowly allowing me to adjust to his length. I hissed at the stretch as he bottomed out. “Fuuuck” he breathed into my ear. “Colby.. please..” I whined. “What baby? Use your words” he teased. “Please fuck me” I said looking into his eyes. Somehow his eyes got even darker at my words before he spoke. “Don’t have to ask me twice princess” he growled before thrusting hard into me. I moaned loudly as he rocked his hips into mine aggressively. I clawed at his muscular back as I started to loose grip on reality. He was so big and deep I could barely take it. “Oh god Colby yes!” I moaned as he pounded into me even harder. “Fuck yeah take it baby…god you’re so tight gonna make me cum” he groaned. “Want daddy to cum inside your pretty pussy? Make you mine?” He growled, speeding up. I moaned in response, my walls clenching around him as I grew closer to cumming. “Yes daddy please! G- gonna cum daddy so close!” I panted. “Me too baby it’s alright, let go cum on daddy cock” he grunted burying his face in my neck. I all but screamed his name as I came undone around his cock. He thrusted a few more times before I felt his warm cum fill me. He pulled out and held me close to him, both of us panting as we came down from our highs.

I closed my eyes as we laid there cuddled together on the carpet. “Y/n” he breathed into my neck. “Mhm” I mumbled, too tired to form a coherent sentence. “I I really like you. I have for a long time now” he confessed. At that my eyes snapped open. “Colby-“ I tried but he interrupted me. “I know you probably don’t feel the same and this was a one time thing bu-“ I cut him off smashing my lips onto his, kissing him with everything I had. All the pent up feelings I had towards him pouring out through the kiss. When we pulled away he looked at me confused , his lips red and swollen. “Colby, I like you too moron” I giggled. His expression went from confused to sheer love in a matter of seconds. “Good because now that I’ve had a taste I’m not letting you go” he promised, kissing me again.

#4ppl3ju1c #colby brock #colby brock x reader #colby brock smut #x reader #sam and colby #sam golbach x reader

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legoprime · 1 year

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On the topic of the previous post, I've been having some Thoughts about Varric and my (pro-mage, Andersmancing) Hawke lately, let me see if I can get them down into words.

Like... okay, let's start at the beginning. Varric meets this refugee who he's heard a lot about, hires him onto an expedition. They start working together and Varric realizes this guy is pretty funny, always down for a laugh and a drink at the Hanged Man. They have very compatible personalities and quickly become good friends.

Varric is settled in deep in Kirkwall, and over the years Hawke gets settled in pretty well too. His family retakes their estate, he starts doing jobs for and around the Viscount, and he seems to be the only one the Arishok will talk to which is pretty important for the overall wellbeing of the city. This culminates in Hawke becoming the literal Champion of Kirkwall, the savior of their city. That's about as entrenched as you can get.

Alongside all of this is Anders, who is also friends with Varric and generally down for a joke and a good time, but who can get a bit too serious about mage rights for Varric's tastes. It's not that Varric has a huge difference of opinion on the matter, it's just that he'd rather not have to think about difficult things like that. He's happy and content in his life, and he has everything he needs right where he is. What happens in the Circle stays in the Circle, it doesn't affect Varric.

When Hawke begins his relationship with Anders, Varric jokes about it. "Are you sure about the possessed mage?" It's taken lightheartedly, because Hawke is his best friend and he supports whatever weird relationship choices he makes. "You do you, Hawke, but that's probably gonna end badly."

And then The Last Straw happens. And then the Chantry is destroyed, and fire rains down over the city, his city, and Varric watches his best friend side with the man who did it, his lover and partner who he has supported all of these years, and for the first time Varric is forced to actually recognize that Hawke and Anders share the same values. "I'm not sure we should be doing this" he says, in some vain hope that, I dunno, maybe Hawke will turn around and say, "You know what you're right bestie, let me just put the lid back on this stewing mage rebellion and then everything will be normal again and we can forget this ever happened".

Instead he watches Hawke put a different cause above the wellbeing of his city--their city, the one he thought they both cared just as deeply for--for the first time, and then he watches Hawke and Anders and all the newly freed mages leave.

Years later when the Inquisitor asks Varric about all of this and he reminisces about Hawke and scoffs about Anders, it's in this almost longing, mournful way of someone who lost a friend and blames their significant other for it. There's a part of Varric that, even then, is still thinking, "if only Hawke had never gotten in bed with Blondie, then maybe he'd have made the 'right' choice and we'd all still be together having drinks at the Hanged Man." But he knows that will never happen again, because he knows even when Hawke comes to Skyhold that when he leaves he's going back to Anders.

When he tells stories of Hawke's adventures and leaves out the parts about Anders, or actively talks shit about him, it's because it's easier to blame everything that happened solely on Anders rather than admit Hawke was a different person than Varric thought he was.

#been having a lot of feelings lately about the immediate post-da2 events #because hawke and anders and bethany get the fuck out of town #does varric go with them?#does he stay behind?#how bitter is he if he goes vs if he stays?#if he goes how long does he stay with them before he can't do it anymore?#lego talks da #avery hawke #anders #varric tethras #dragon age

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houseofanticipation · 1 year

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You have a cnc kink. You've mentioned it to your boyfriend a few times, how you might be interested in roleplaying something nonconsensual, but you don't think he realizes how badly you need it; how you ache for it. One morning, in bed, you tell him a little more directly: you want him to surprise you, hold you down, and use you as his personal sex toy.

He's hesitant at first. He's sweet; he doesn't have the same darkness in him that you do. He says he's never imagined raping anyone, and you think he's actually telling the truth. But it isn't rape, you say, not really, because it's what you want. It's what you're asking for—begging for, really. He agrees, on the condition that you have a safe word. You say the word "Christmas" and he'll stop, check in, make sure you want to continue. There's no way you'll actually say it, you think, but you agree. If that's what he needs, so be it.

I've been watching you for months. I first saw you on the bus: it was the first time you'd "forgotten" to put on underwear, and the thrill of it had you crossing your legs and clenching your thighs, trying to keep a straight face. You told yourself no one heard the moan that escaped your lips. It was soft, barely audible, and the girl next to you had her headphones in. But I heard it. I was sitting right behind you, and I'd been watching you tremble for almost ten minutes by then. When you got up, I saw that you'd left a tiny wet spot on the back of your dress. That was when I decided to follow you.

You work from home while your boyfriend is at his job downtown. I've sat across the street for hours on end, watching you at your desk. I've seen you scrolling through tumblr during a zoom meeting. I've seen how you start to nod off in the afternoon, only to jerk awake as your head begins to droop. More than once, I've seen the urge come over you; I can always tell when it starts by a subtle motion in your hips. I don't think you even realize you're doing it at first, but before long you're lifting your dress and pulling your panties to the side and stroking yourself urgently, almost desperately. Once, you seemed to look right at me. My heart jumped, but all you saw were the tinted windows of my car. I think you hoped someone would see you, deep down. I think it made you cum harder.

The night before I couldn't stop myself. When I was sure you and your boyfriend were both asleep, I crept into your house. It wasn't hard—I've seen your boyfriend use the spare key in the fake rock. I went first to your office, where I've watched you spend hours of your life. I got down on my knees and buried my face in your chair, trying smell all the cum you've left behind on it, imagining the biggest stain to be from the time we locked eyes through my window. It mostly just smelled like old fabric, but just knowing what you'd done there made my cock twitch with excitement.

I meant to leave. I was putting my plan in jeopardy just being in there. But I couldn't stop myself. I had to see what you looked like when you slept. I crept up the stairs, stepping close to the wall so they didn't creak, and slunk in through your open bedroom door. I took a slow, silent breath to steady my racing heart. You were there, right in front of me, the first time in months I'd actually been close enough to touch you. You were perfect like that. The way that ratty old t-shirt hung off your breasts. The way you slept with your ass facing up, like you were already waiting to take me inside you. The way the outside edges of your pussy lips just peeked around the sides of your panties, teasing me, inviting me. Your boyfriend had his hand draped over your ass, but I didn't mind. It didn't change who you belonged to.

I wanted so badly to take my cock out right there. It was rock hard by then, straining against my belt, throbbing with anticipation, but I steadied myself. If I took it out now, I wouldn't be able to control myself. I'd be plunging it into you before I even had a chance to think. No, I'd spent months planning this. I couldn't waste that now. As a consolation prize, I took a pair of your panties out of the hamper. This time I was sure I could smell your pussy on them. I almost came right there.

That was last night. Your boyfriend kisses you on the cheek on his way out the door. You notice your nipples are hard, thinking about what he's going to do to you. You almost start to masturbate right here and now, but you hold off. Better to let the excitement build. You're just going into the office with your coffee when you hear the click of the front door latch. At first you think your boyfriend forgot something, but you don't hear his shoes on the floor, or his voice calling out to ask if you've seen his wallet. You turn to look out the door to your office and see a shadow on the wall beyond, moving slowly, deliberately.

It's just like him, really, to get right on with it. You'd have liked to let the anticipation build a little more, but this sort of thing doesn't come naturally to him, and you appreciate him making the effort. You turn back around in a hurry, not wanting to spoil the fantasy. You pretend to work, typing random numbers into a spreadsheet, listening intently as soft footsteps cross the floor. They come to a stop right behind you and for a long moment nothing happens. Your breath catches in your chest, your heart pounds. You don't notice that you've stopped typing as you listen to the silent room behind you.

You're moments away from turning around when a hand closes around your throat. You gasp. It's firm, forceful—you didn't think your boyfriend had it in him. You feel a hard body press against you as the hand pulls you upward, forcing you to your feet. You struggle a little bit, but not too much; you don't want to put him off. Another hand pins your arms behind your back and you find yourself being guided to the bedroom. It's actually getting a little hard to breathe, but you don't say the safe word. You don't want to discourage whatever's come over him.

You catch your first glimpse of me when I put you on the bed. I'm wearing a plain black stocking mask over my face, and my build is similar to your boyfriend's, so I don't blame you for your mistake, though I'd like to flatter myself I'm a little sturdier than him. You wonder where your boyfriend got that mask so fast, and you wonder even more, as I get on top of you to hold you down, if for some reason he already had all this rope in his backpack. You're clearly seeing a different side of him today, and you think it'd be okay to struggle a bit harder. You squirm as I wrench your arm over your head, trying to pull away as I knot the rope around your wrist, but my weight is too much. On your chest, you feel my cock twinge through my pants. Unbelievable, you think. He's actually getting off on this.

You're not holding back anymore. You shout and kick and beat my chest with your fist. The room is pretty soundproof, so you're not worried about your neighbors calling the police. With your right hand now tied to the bedpost, getting your other arm tied up isn't much trouble. Your legs are a bit harder—you actually clip me in the jaw with a well-placed kick, but that just gets me more excited, and you're too deep into the fantasy to wonder why I don't react. Before long I have you completely at my mercy, arms and legs spread wide, unable to do much of anything but look up at me.

"Now you've got me," you say. "What are you going to do to me?"

A primal grunt escapes my chest. I see the lust in your eyes, confirmation of what I already knew. You're exactly the whore I thought you were.

Your heart skips as I produce a pair of scissors from my back pocket, but of course you don't believe I'll actually cut you. What I cut is your t-shirt, starting just above your pubis and working up toward your neck. A full body shiver runs over your skin as the cold metal glides up your stomach, between your breasts, coming to rest with a final snip in the dip of your neck. For a long moment you don't dare move, lest the blade slip, and for the first time so far you feel jolt of fear. And the fear just makes you wetter.

I take a moment to admire your breasts before cutting along each shoulder to free your arms from their sleeves. I want you completely exposed. Your skirt is simpler, a single cut, and then there's nothing left but your panties. I groan approvingly when I see how wet they already are. My hands are trembling as I run them over the length of your body. I pause at your breasts to run circles around your nipples with my thumbs, admiring how they spring back up when I press them down. For my own amusement, I give one a hard flick, and you cry out. I smile behind my mask.

I continue down to your hips, and then your thighs, and then your inner thighs. You try to pull away as my fingers brush the edges of your vulva, but there's not even an inch of give in my ropes. I run my thumb down the crotch of your panties, over your clit, and you gasp as I push experimentally inward. The sight of your pussy lips bulging around your panties is enough to push me over the edge. It's time.

I stand up, kick off my shoes, and pull down my pants. My cock stands nearly perpendicular to my body. It's bigger than your boyfriend's, and shaped differently. My legs are a little hairier too. Later these differences will occur to you, but in this moment you've stopped thinking of me as your boyfriend. I am the stranger, the intruder, you wanted him to be. I mount the bed, crawling towards you on hands and knees, my black mask impossible to read. I lay the head of my cock over your vulva, and even that slightest stimulation causes it to jump and pulse as the blood courses through it. You close your eyes and quiver with fear and excitement, waiting for me to enter you, but instead you feel me tracing my way up your body, between your breasts, across you throat, and coming to rest on your lips. You open your eyes. I'm right there, towering above you, my blank face looking down expectantly. I'm not worried about you biting me. I've studied you, remember. I know you'll accept a cock once it's in your mouth.

I press your lips open, but you clench your jaw, blocking my entry. Steadying myself on the headboard, I reach behind me and stuff two fingers, along with a good amount of your panties, deep into your pussy. You gasp in surprise and pleasure and pain, and that momentary relaxing of your jaw is all I need. My cock is in your mouth, pushing past your tongue, cramming itself down your throat. You gag, but there's nothing you can do you. I moan with pleasure as you writhe against your restraints, and just as you're starting to worry about breathing I pull back up. You manage to suck in some air before I'm down your throat again, gagging you, suffocating you.

Tears well up in your eyes. You're somehow equal parts terrified and unbelievably horny. Your pussy aches with need, and you instinctively strain against your bonds, your subconscious mind trying to masturbate for you, but it's no use. Like a girl struggling to keep her head above water you oscillate between choking and gasping, choking and gasping, as my cock pounds your throat. I push down one last time and hold there—I know if I move at all I'll shoot thick ropes of cum down the back of your throat, but I have to hold on. There's more still to do. I stay there for over half a minute, letting my cock relax, struggling not to explode, while you whimper, snot mingling with saliva and tears on your face. You look up at me, convulsing with the effort of keeping my orgasm in check, and you begin to see spots on your vision. You're actually afraid for your life now, afraid you might black out if I don't pull out. You try to say the safe word, but it comes out as something like "hng hng." Even if I was your boyfriend, I'd have no idea what you were saying.

Finally, moments before darkness takes you, you feel the pressure easing, my cock sliding against the walls of your throat as I pull back. I linger in your mouth for a moment, and the euphoria of being alive combined with the anticipation of what surely must come next compels you to give the head of my cock a final parting caress with your tongue. You thank your lucky stars I didn't hear you, didn't stop. You almost ruined everything with your weakness.

Your body is racked with sobs as I crawl backward toward your lower region. It's physiological; the intensity of the moment is too much for your body to handle. I let you sit in that for a moment, stroking my cock as I watch you convulse. It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen.

The scissors long since discarded, I remove your panties the old fashioned way: I pull on them until they tear. The crotch presses between your labia, straining against you clit, and you cry out in pain. A seam in the back rips and I have them off you. Finally, you're completely naked. Like a pig.

I lean down close to you, staring into your face, watching every micro expression. You stare back, transfixed by the flat black stocking, trying to see the shape of the face behind it. You know for certain in this moment, clear as day, that I am not your boyfriend.

"Christmas," you whisper.

I don't give a fuck what you say.

We both shudder as the head of my cock finally parts your pussy lips. It's like food for the starving; finally, your body calls out, finally we're getting what we need. You let out a long moan as the width of my cock spreads your pussy uncomfortably wide. I go slowly at first, savoring every inch of your insides, letting the anticipation build in both of us. You gasp as I reach your cervix, and cry out in pain as I push up against it, trying to fit the entire length of my cock inside you. I begin to pump, and every thrust is a new pain: your pussy straining against my girth, your cervix pounded by the head of my cock, your clit smashed each time my body slams into yours. You're screaming now, actually screaming, and crying and begging me to stop. But there's something else behind the pain (or somehow the same as the pain): a wave of pleasure, more intense than anything else you've ever felt. It starts in the soles of your feet, causing your toes to spread, then curl. It travels up your legs and into your ass, making you thrust your pelvis up into each thrust of mine. It radiates out from your groin, filling you up to the tips of your fingers. Screams turn into moans, and your pussy clenches around my cock as you cum. That's enough for me, and at long last I explode, my semen shooting into you with enough force to make you cum even harder. With each clench of your pussy I shoot another load, and the two of us are paralyzed together for a long minute, spasming in simultaneous orgasm.

At long last I slide gently out of you, my cum dribbling down between your ass cheeks. I put my pants back on, then my shoes, and then I untie you. Just your legs, mind. I don't want you uncomfortable, but it's important you be here for your boyfriend to find when he gets home. I give you a final smack on the upper thigh, and then I leave your home forever.

You feel drunk. Now that your legs are free you raise your hips in the air. Trying to keep as much of my cum inside you as possible. You wonder what your boyfriend will say. You wonder how you'll know if the baby looks like me.

#cnc free use #r@pe kink #r@pe fantasy #breeding toy #nsft #Library 🜞

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realcube · 3 months

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the haikyuu brain rot is BACK in full swing omg and i just had another idea BYE

April… stop sending me shit -you… maybe. Jkjk. Anyway.

I’m Anemic and my hands and feet r always cold lol so the idea goes like this: <insert character here> is working/relaxing and then all of a sudden their anemic SO just like assults them with cold hands on their neck or like down their shirt? i think it’d be really funny. If you wanna do this idea u can pick the boys but Haikyuu (obviously bc we share a braincell and it’s almost always haikyuu) and Tendo has to be involved.

thanks for putting up with me 😍 -April

TENDO SATORI

♡ ok well the first challenge with tendo is actually trying to find him relaxed.. like ever

♡ mans in the embodiment of hyperactivity and hyperawareness

♡ he is the guess monster after all

♡ like the only time you'll ever find him unsuspecting and vulnerable is when he is asleep or trying to sleep

♡ thankfully wtih all the running about he does and all the adventures he takes you on, that is quite frequently

♡ oh and whenever you try to subject him to anything academic or mentally stimulating he falls asleep LMAO

♡ you're like "tendo i found this really good documentary we should watch. it's about climate change and it'll just say it's really interesting and educational because i don't wanna spoil too much. wanna watch with me?"

♡ "only if we can watch together!"

♡ you smile and grab the remote in order to put it on. "you're going to love it, i've heard from all my friends it's really informative. and i've seen trailers for it and they've got hundreds of environmental scientists that have been researching th— tendo?" you look back over at him to see him fast asleep and snoring

♡ BEFORE YOU EVEN PUT THE MOVIE ON

♡ as revenge for that level of disrespect of course you need to deploy your ultra secret weapon of mass destruction final attack: cold hands.

♡ you snake them under his shirt then suddenly press your hands firmly against his chest and he SCREAMS

♡ like his eyes shoot open and he yelps while jumping up from the couch

♡ all while you are just laughing your fecken ass off

♡ "(y/n)?! what was that?" he asks, despite the fact he knows exactly what it was because you've done this to him several times before

♡ "that's what you get for falling asleep after you said you'd watch a movie with me! how would you feel if i fell asleep during one of your volleyball games?"

♡ he rolls his eyes as he reluctantly sits back down on the couch, "that would hurt but that's different. you're actually watching me — your atheletic and impossibly hot boyfriend — play."

♡ you roll your eyes but he continues to explain himself, "but it's not like i'm watching you in this movie."

♡ "i am in this movie!" you argue, just for the fun of it.

♡ "really? who do you play?"

♡ "an icicle." you declare proudly.

♡ "are you sure you don't mean an iceberg— AH! STOP!"

♡ he screams while you chase him around the room, trying to capture his arms and his face in your hands, "never!"

WAKATOSHI USHIJIMA

♡ okay so i firmly believe ushijima is so ice cold on the inside your hands genuinely don't affect him

♡ which is such a shame because you so badly wanted to hear him squeal

♡ but no.. sigh..

♡ it honestly frustrates you to no end up you still don't give up, you know someday you'll get the perfect balance of warm room + element of surprise that you'll get some reaction out of him

♡ but whenever you touch him and he just looks at you like '😐 can i help you?' you get sooo disheartened you can't even be bothered to explain what you're doing so literally he has no idea whats going on

♡ kinda like this:

♡ you see him sitting on the couch, engrossed in this month's issue of Gardening Monthly that you just left on the table as a distraction (he doesn't know anything about gardening)

♡ and you start to creep up to him from behind, holding your breath, each movement perfectly calculated so you don't step on any creaky floorboards. you approach in completely silence and then...

♡ BOOM! cold hands to the face!!

♡ your hands are squishing his cheeks and instead of screaming or even gasping, he just turns to look at you his resting blank expression. "what is this?"

♡ "ughh" you groan, tossing your head back in frustration. everything was so spot on but still nothing. "hmph.. nevermind.." you grunt, storming away.

♡ and because you just randomly touch him so often and refuse to explain it, he just thinks its one of those things couples are supposed to do

♡ so randomly when you are together he'll sneak up behind you and place both his hands on your shoulders, giving YOU a heart attack

♡ or when you're sleeping you'll suddenly feel two hands squish your cheeks and at first your blood will run cold until you realise it's toshi

♡ it's all fun and games and cutesy couple stuff until he does it to you in the hallways of your school/college while you are on your way to class

♡ he'll creep up behind you and place his hands on your waist and because you're in a public place you automatically assume its a stranger and spin around to roundhouse him in the face

♡ he's okay though. your hands made a good temporary ice pack while the nurse got him a real one

YU NISHINOYA

♡ 1000000% screams like a little girl and tries to play it off cool

♡ and because of that you love him too much to ever use your cold hands on him in public or in front of his teammates

♡ (bc you both know tsukishima and yamaguchi would never let him hear the end of it and tell EVERYONE they know and one thing leads to another, now everyone has lost any respect for him they may have had formerly.)

♡ (ok that's an exaggeration but it would still be very embarrassing for him)

♡ so you only do it in private and titter to yourself about it

♡ however you do have it as a form of blackmail if he ever disrespects you which is good

♡ jkjk ofc you'd never blackmail

♡ but you do like to tease him because you both know you have that power

♡ like if you ask him to grab you an extra milk from the vending machine and he says no (idk why he would say no though , he's too whipped to ever do that, but just as an example) you could just raise your hands up menacingly

♡ and the way he would DART towards the vending machine

♡ unreal

♡ if he could pull out that speed on the court, he'd send wakatoshi ushijima home CRYING that's for certain

#haikyuu x gender neutral reader #haikyuu crack #haikyuu x reader #haikyu x reader #ushijima x reader #nishinoya x y/n #satori tendo x reader #tendo x reader #notenoughcube

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hollowed-theory-hall · 5 months

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Any HC's on what's going on with Luna?

Hi, so I really like Luna as a character, and I've seen various theories about her being a seer, which at least used to be popular in fic, but I never got that impression from her. Personally, I don't think there's anything magical going on with Luna. I think she's just a girl with imagination, a sense of whimsy, and some trauma of her own who chose to handle it through her internal little world rather than anger and other more externalized ways to cope.

So, this kinda ended up being a bit of a character study on Luna...

Pandora Lovegood & Luna's Trauma

One of the major moments in Luna's life that really changed her worldview and approach to people and the world was her mother's death:

“Have you . . .” he began. “I mean, who . . . has anyone you’ve known ever died?” “Yes,” said Luna simply, “my mother. She was a quite extraordinary witch, you know, but she did like to experiment and one of her spells went rather badly wrong one day. I was nine.” “I’m sorry,” Harry mumbled. “Yes, it was rather horrible,” said Luna conversationally. “I still feel very sad about it sometimes. But I’ve still got Dad. And anyway, it’s not as though I’ll never see Mum again, is it?” “Er — isn’t it?” said Harry uncertainly. She shook her head in disbelief. “Oh, come on. You heard them, just behind the veil, didn’t you?” “You mean . . .” “In that room with the archway. They were just lurking out of sight, that’s all. You heard them.”

(OotP, 863)

I want to talk about her mother, her death, and Luna's general outlook on death and tragedy which explains a lot of her characters.

So Pandora Lovegood experimented with spells and one went badly enough to kill her in front of her 9-year-old daughter. This is why Luna can see Thestrals and hear voices from beyond the veil like Harry and Neville. But Luna, at her soul is an optimist and a very brave one at that. This is something that she doesn't share with her father, which I'd get to, so I think her outlook on life and death is actually something she learned from her mother.

Luna prefers to look at the half-full part of the glass. She is choosing not to get too sad over things or bothered over her bullying (which I'll get to). The main point is that Luna's way of dealing with the hardship and trauma of watching her mother die is to feel the sadness of it, but not let herself wallow in it. She keeps pushing herself forward.

I headcanon Luna took her mother's death to embrace her mother's outlook on life. That things will always be fine, that they'd always work out. I don't think Luna knows for certain everything will be fine, but she chooses to believe it will be and you see it with her later in the books as well.

“I was saying, what are those horse things?” Harry said, as he, Ron, and Luna made for the carriage in which Hermione and Ginny were already sitting. [...] “It’s all right,” said a dreamy voice from beside Harry as Ron vanished into the coach’s dark interior. “You’re not going mad or anything. I can see them too.” “Can you?” said Harry desperately, turning to Luna. He could see the bat-winged horses reflected in her wide, silvery eyes. “Oh yes,” said Luna, “I’ve been able to see them ever since my first day here. They’ve always pulled the carriages. Don’t worry. You’re just as sane as I am.” Smiling faintly, she climbed into the musty interior of the carriage after Ron. Not altogether reassured, Harry followed her.

(OotP, 198-199)

Again, this shows her way of dealing with death and loss that ended up helping Harry. She sees the Thestrals and instead of being discomforted by them and the loss they remind her of (like Neville and Theodore Nott), she tries to smile, to take comfort in the reminder of her mother. "It's sad that she's dead, but it's okay, things will be okay", it's not a direct quote, but I feel it summarises Luna's outlook on loss and negative life experiences in general.

Xenophilius and the Quibbler

As I mentioned above, Xenophilius is much less brave and optimistic than Luna, hence why I think she learned her positive outlook from Pandora and not him:

Xenophilius gulped. He seemed to be steeling himself. Finally, he said in a shaky voice difficult to hear over the noise of the printing press, “Luna is down at the stream, fishing for Freshwater Plimpies. She . . . she will like to see you. I’ll go and call her and then—very well. I shall try to help you.” He disappeared down the spiral staircase and they heard the front door open and close. They looked at each other. “Cowardly old wart,” said Ron. “Luna’s got ten times his guts.”

(DH, 347)

I understand him, I really do. He lost his wife, and his daughter is all he has, of course, he's scared of helping Harry. He doesn't want to lose Luna too. But, I headcanon Pandora was like Luna in that regard. She wouldn't have let fear stop her. I mean, she had to be brave to experiment with the kind of dangerous spells that'll kill her.

The other thing I want to note about Xenophilius and Luna is how close they seem to be whenever we see them:

Bidding the wizards farewell, he turned to his daughter, who held up her finger and said, “Daddy, look—one of the gnomes actually bit me!” “How wonderful! Gnome saliva is enormously beneficial!” said Mr. Lovegood, seizing Luna’s outstretched finger and examining the bleeding puncture marks. “Luna, my love, if you should feel any burgeoning talent today—perhaps an unexpected urge to sing opera or to declaim in Mermish—do not repress it! You may have been gifted by the Gernumblies!”

(DH, 124)

They seem very affectionate and close, both with words and I'm sure also physical affection. Luna even mentions she still has her dad when she explains how she handles her mother's loss. I think both of them grew closer and more dependent on each other after Pandora's death. And I think that's what really pulled them both through it. Each other.

I write about it more later in this post, but Luna tends to comfort a lot of characters. Hermione, Ollivanders, Harry, and I think the first person she practiced this with was her father. She is a very empathetic person and she watched loss affect her father first-hand. I think, that after they lost Pandora, Luna did more of the heavy lifting in terms of emotional comfort rather than Xenophilius, who was probably a bit of a wreck.

Now, the third major thing I think Luna learned from her father is his various odd beliefs. To name a few Quibbler article titles from the beginning of OotP:

How Far Will Fudge Go to Gain Gringotts?

CORRUPTION IN THE QUIDDITCH LEAGUE: How the Tornados Are Taking Control

SIRIUS - Black As He’s Painted? Notorious Mass Murderer OR Innocent Singing Sensation?

We all know they have some odd ideas, and are both very convinced of them. Luna never strays in her belief in the things her father writes about:

Yes, he’s got an army of heliopaths,” said Luna solemnly. “No, he hasn’t,” snapped Hermione. “Yes, he has,” said Luna. “What are heliopaths?” asked Neville, looking blank. “They’re spirits of fire,” said Luna, her protuberant eyes widening so that she looked madder than ever. “Great tall flaming creatures that gallop across the ground burning everything in front of —” “They don’t exist, Neville,” said Hermione tartly. “Oh yes they do!” said Luna angrily. “I’m sorry, but where’s the proof of that?” snapped Hermione. “There are plenty of eyewitness accounts, just because you’re so narrow-minded you need to have everything shoved under your nose before you —”

(OotP, 345)

She actually shows a dislike and anger toward Hermione at first because of how Hermione treats the things she believes in. Luna doesn't get angry often, but when her beliefs are ridiculed in the way Hermione does so, is one of these few times. She doesn't mind being called "Loony", but she cares about her, and her father's beliefs are aggressively questioned. She wouldn't have minded it if Hermione just didn't believe her (like Ron and Ginny) what bothers her is that Hermione doesn't even entertain the possibility of these creatures being real. What angers her is Hermione's closed-mindedness, not that she doesn't agree with her. Luna doesn't mind being alone in her beliefs, she minds closed-minded people who think they know everything, that's what gets her annoyed with Hermione, I think.

Now, I kind of want to discuss why Luna and Xenehpilius believe what they believe. Well, more Xenephilius than Luna, because he taught her most of it and gave her all the evidence she is basing her understanding of all these creatures and conspiracies come from.

Because that's what a lot of these are — conspiracies — and mostly about the Ministry of Magic. These article titles are somewhat like farfetched conspiracy theories like: "NASA hiding a second sun at the center of the Earth" or "Did you know the Earth is actually flat but the government doesn't want you to know" or anything to do with Area 51 and aliens. The articles from the Quibbler sound awfully a lot like that. And it seemed the main reason Xenophilius and Luna believed Harry was because the ministry didn't.

Xenophilius and Luna also believe in miracle cures like gnome venom (as quoted earlier), Gurdyroots and Plumpies:

“May I offer you all an infusion of Gurdyroots?” said Xenophilius. “We make it ourselves.” As he started to pour out the drink, which was a deep purple as beetroot juice, he added, “Luna is down beyond Bottom Bridge, she is most excited that you are here. She ought not be too long, she has caught nearly enough Plumpies to make soup for all of us. Do sit down and help yourselves to sugar.

(DS, 348)

They are essentially wizard conspiracy theorist hippies.

Basically, Xenophilius and Luna distrust the ministry (rightfully so, as the ministry sucks) but they took their distrust to the extreme. Essentially believing any information from the ministry, or ministry-sanctioned textbooks and newspapers to be false (some of it definitely is false, but not all). If it comes from the ministry it's false in their eyes and therefore everything the ministry doesn't live in is true, even if it doesn't make sense. So what I think is going on with the Lovegoods, and what they are supposed to be, is just conspiracy theorists, who rightfully distrust their government, but took this distrust too far beyond common sense. It doesn't mean all they belive is false, they are actually correct often enough, but not always.

Now, I think, as I said, they have a good reason to distrust the ministry, they just took it a bit far. I actually have a bit of a headcanon about how Xenophilius came to the conclusion that they can't trust ministry.

My headcanon is that it has to do with Pandora's death. We don't really have any indication that Xenophilius believed in everything he did before her death. Neither do we know how exactly the spell killed Pandora. I think the ministry either hid information about Pandora's condition, used some spells she created in their books without giving her credit, or the ministry never sanctioned her spells (we know the ministry does approve spells, Hermione mentions as much in HBP). I'm not sure what exactly went with the ministry, but I headcanon Xenophilius has a personal reason related to Pandora to distrust them.

Loony Luna

We know Luna gets bullied. Her belongings get stolen, other students call her "Loony". And it isn't surprising she gets bullied. children are mean to anyone who is weird and different and Hogwarts has no anti-bullying measures. Literally none, the faculty doesn't care.

What is more interesting is Luna's outlook on her own bullying. It's the same optimistic acceptance of how she treats death.

“How come you’re not at the feast?” Harry asked. “Well, I’ve lost most of my possessions,” said Luna serenely. “People take them and hide them, you know. But as it’s the last night, I really do need them back, so I’ve been putting up signs.” She gestured toward the notice board, upon which, sure enough, she had pinned a list of all her missing books and clothes, with a plea for their return. An odd feeling rose in Harry — an emotion quite different from the anger and grief that had filled him since Sirius’s death. It was a few moments before he realized that he was feeling sorry for Luna. “How come people hide your stuff?” he asked her, frowning. “Oh . . . well . . .” She shrugged. “I think they think I’m a bit odd, you know. Some people call me ‘Loony’ Lovegood, actually.” Harry looked at her and the new feeling of pity intensified rather painfully. “That’s no reason for them to take your things,” he said flatly. “D’you want help finding them?” “Oh no,” she said, smiling at him. “They’ll come back, they always do in the end. It was just that I wanted to pack tonight. Anyway . . . why aren’t you at the feast?”

(OotP, 862-863)

Other Ravenclaws steal her things and hide them, they call her "Loony" and at no point is Luna angry or scared. She is calm and serene and she declines Harry's help because she believes it will all work out. It's the same outlook on death and sadness: "Everything will be fine, just keep your chin up and believe things will be good" That just really seems to be Luna's life philosophy. She faces every problem with optimism and serenity.

Instead of being concerned over her own situation, she actually goes a step further and ask how Harry is doing. Luna goes out of her way to brighten up other people's lives and help them see the good in situations like she can. She is really sweet.

“I enjoyed the meetings too,” said Luna serenely. “It was like having friends.” This was one of those uncomfortable things Luna often said and which made Harry feel a squirming mixture of pity and embarrassment.

(HBP, 138)

“Oh, it’s been all right,” said Luna. “A bit lonely without the D.A. Ginny’s been nice, though. She stopped two boys in our Transfiguration class calling me ‘Loony’ the other day —”

(HBP, 311)

These are two more examples of Luna's being bullied. She is lonely and didn't really have friends before the D.A. But just like with her missing things, while it makes her sad, she doesn't wallow in it. She looks at the good parts. The happy memories, the fact that Ginny defends her now. Honestly, it's a healthier coping mechanism than what we see with other characters, I'll give her that.

The other interesting note is how honest she is with all of it. She always says things exactly how she believes they are. She doesn't lie or hide information from people, even for their own comfort. I think this has to do with the distrust in the ministry her father and her share.

Essentially, she was raised being told how awful the ministry is for lying to everyone and how it's horrible they hide information from the wizarding world. I think this is part of why she is so honest and straightforward. She really sees hiding information and lying as awful things to do. And, I mean, she's a Ravenclaw for a reason, she likely believes information should be accessible to know and learn, not hidden in the bawls of the ministry. It's all part of her honesty.

Luna's Empathy

Luna is one of the more empathetic characters in the books. I mentioned before how she goes out of her way to encourage and comfort others, and here are some examples I picked up:

“Are you sure you don’t want me to help you look for your stuff?” he said. “Oh no,” said Luna. “No, I think I’ll just go down and have some pudding and wait for it all to turn up. . . . It always does in the end. . . . Well, have a nice holiday, Harry.” “Yeah . . . yeah, you too.” She walked away from him, and as he watched her go, he found that the terrible weight in his stomach seemed to have lessened slightly.

(OotP, 864)

Luna is the first person to make Harry feel better after Sirius' death, to tell him life goes on and actually convince him of it. She can empathize with people really weel and tell them what they need to hear.

He finally tracked her [Hermione] down as she emerged from a girls’ bathroom on the floor below. She was accompanied by Luna Lovegood, who was patting her vaguely on the back. “Oh, hello, Harry,” said Luna. “Did you know one of your eyebrows is bright yellow?” “Hi, Luna. Hermione, you left your stuff. . . .” He held out her books. “Oh yes,” said Hermione in a choked voice, taking her things and turning away quickly to hide the fact that she was wiping her eyes on her pencil case. “Thank you, Harry. Well, I’d better get going. . . .” And she hurried off, without giving Harry any time to offer words of comfort, though admittedly he could not think of any. “She’s a bit upset,” said Luna. “I thought at first it was Moaning Myrtle in there, but it turned out to be Hermione. She said something about that Ron Weasley. . . .”

(HBP, 310)

Even with Hermione, whom Luna tends to argue with most due to Hermione appearing closed-minded to Luna, when Luna hears crying her first instinct is to go help. And she actually seemed to have made Hermione feel better, she found the right things to say.

Her mention of Moaning Myrtle makes it sound like Luna knows the ghost well. My headcanon is that in Luna's first years, when she was lonely and had no friends, she sat and chatted with Myrtle, and they had a cute little lonely friendship.

“That’s right,” said Luna encouragingly, as if they were back in the Room of Requirement and this was simply spell practice for the D.A., “That’s right, Harry. . . come on think of something happy. . . .” “Something happy?” he said, his voice cracked. “We’re all still here,” she whispered, “we’re still fighting. Come on, now. . . .”

(DS, 548)

Encouraging Harry to cast a Patronus when they need one.

“I’m going to miss you, Mr. Ollivander,” said Luna, approaching the old man. “And I you, my dear,” said Ollivander, patting her on the shoulder. “You were an inexpressible comfort to me in that terrible place.”

(DH, 437)

And even comforting Ollivanders.

Luna just brings comfort to everyone she meets. Knowing what to say to make them feel better.

About her supposed seer-like abilities

As I said, I don't think Luna is a seer or anything like that. I think she's intelligent, open-minded, incredibly empathetic, has some extreme distrust in the ministry, and has an overall life philosophy of looking at the full half of the cup.

When I searched for scenes that had "extra-magical" potential I found only two:

The girl beside the window looked up. She had straggly, waist-length, dirty-blond hair, very pale eyebrows, and protuberant eyes that gave her a permanently surprised look. Harry knew at once why Neville had chosen to pass this compartment by. The girl gave off an aura of distinct dottiness. Perhaps it was the fact that she had stuck her wand behind her left ear for safekeeping, or that she had chosen to wear a necklace of butterbeer caps, or that she was reading a magazine upside down. Her eyes ranged over Neville and came to rest on Harry. She nodded. [...] The girl called Luna watched them over her upside-down magazine, which was called The Quibbler. She did not seem to need to blink as much as normal humans. She stared and stared at Harry, who had taken the seat opposite her and now wished he had not.

(OotP, 185)

I think this is more Luna being awkward because she never had friends more than anything. I think she is just honestly shocked and confused that Harry and Co. want to sit with her; of like, their free will, and not just to say mean things.

As much as Luna holds her head high, she is hurt by her bullies and loneliness, she just chooses to not internalize any of it and never stop to be herself. Honestly I really appreciate this aspect of Luna, I adore her ability to stay afloat.

The second scene:

He led a party of warlocks into the marquee as Luna rushed up. “Hello, Harry!” she said. “Er—my name’s Barny,” said Harry, flummoxed. “Oh, have you changed that too?” she asked brightly. “How did you know—?” “Oh, just your expression,” she said.

(DH, 123)

I don't think this is being a "seer" or anything like that. I believe this is an extension of Luna's intense empathy. She says she recognises Harry's expression. Also, she's smart and he acts around Ron the way he always does, Luna would be able to recognize it...

So, yeah, these are my thoughts about Luna.

#harry potter #hp #hp meta #asks #anon asks #anonymous #luna lovegood #harry potter meta #hp headcanon #hollowedheadcanon #hollowedtheory

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