#but unlike mikoto she actually gets some development!

[dykedragonrider]

Finished Crymachina and I am so sad that a game that a game with that compelling of characters is attached to the most 4/10 action game I have ever played. It's like if Nier Automata was for formerly religious lesbians. Like. The gameplay is incredibly shallow and there are some important mechanics (backstabs doing more damage being the biggest example imo) that really feel like they shoulda been telegraphed better, you can just one button through the entire game, the scaling is fucked for damage and ExP, there's a lot wrong with it on a pure systemic level. The level design is also bad but in a way that I think adds to the narrative so. I will let that one go. The characters and their relationships are the real meat of this game IMO and that's mostly what I wanna focus on. The game is about lesbians, and they're both tropey and have legitimate depth? The plot takes a backseat for the most part, which is fine. It's not a particularly strong plot but it's good enough where it counts to work for its purposes. I guess first on the agenda is looking at Leben and Enoa, our protagonists? While the story mostly follows Leben, Enoa is the character the game is most *about* in actuality.

Enoa runs the Imitation Garden, AKA Eden. It's the main hub for everything, and she acts as the caretaker of both it and the E.V.E., because it's also where she lives. Having been broken down twice, the game is about her reconstruction and recovery on two levels, and I do think this is something the game's use of the Kabbalah adds to. As you unlock the levels in game, the main "nodes" you access are all named for the different sefirot of the Tree Of Life. As Enoa develops, you progress the Kabbalah. I think the fact that the game's main ending cuts off at Hod does undermine its use a little, but the sefirot of Malkuth, Yesod, and Netzach are also used in ways postgame that are clever, so I'll let it slide. Enoa is deeply caring, putting everyone above herself. She is earnest, incredibly emotional, and seeks to transcend her machinehood. She routinely invalidates herself and her experiences, given the fact she isn't an authentic human, because she has so much love for humanity.

To contrast that, is Leben. The first E.V.E. we get to see, and to some degree our player surrogate, but that's a role passed around and abandoned as needed, she just plays it the most given how she introduces us to the game. Leben is grounded, prone to flights of fancy but then often backtracking them upon realizing the full consequences of her actions. She resents humanity, and adores machines. Notably, Leben, unlike the other E.V.E., wasn't actually born out of Enoa simulating humanity. Leben was, at one point, Propator, but she's also not that person any more.

It's kinda hard to sell the dynamics in this game because well, it's their execution that carries it, but I still wanna paint the best picture I can. Leben and Enoa's relationship is very much them being lovey dovey, partially because they're fresh to it (I don't subscribe to the honeymoon phase as an idea, I think they're just figuring stuff out somewhat still), and partially because they're aware of their circumstances and are living their lives to the fullest despite that. There's a lot of care for one another in it, and their dreams are shared and centered around mutual joy for each other. It's very much a love that's still finding its feet, but the feelings they have do a lot of the heavy lifting.

For starting the other pair, we have Mikoto. A bona fide badass who values her appearance incredibly strongly. Not in a physical or vein way necessarily, she just values being cool a lot. She loves film as a medium, and likes ribbing other people, as well as sardonic jokes. Mikoto also speaks with her actions rather than her words consistently. She doesn't like being emotionally honest in words, despite the fact she also wears her heart on her sleeve. To contrast, Ami is a sweetheart. She's very cute and flowery in all she does, and is completely devoted to her family of the other three girls, but especially Mikoto who she consistently states her adoration for. She's also axe crazy as hell and is represented as an oni in her battle attire. Gap moe out the ass, basically. Ami also has to be wanted. If she can't be useful, she feels like she has no purpose. This, notably, isn't tied to her being in a wheelchair in her past life, but tied to her relationship with her family. Feels like a bare minimum thing but it still feels important to mention.

Ami and Mikoto don't ever label their relationship, but it doesn't matter because what they are is clear enough, maybe a little less to Ami given some of her anxieties, but you can know very easily. They've shared their existences in all the ways that matter, and at that point a label is set dressing. They've promised to spend eternity and a day together. They're like an old couple in how they talk and interact with the pair of Leben and Enoa, and it's super sweet.

Typing this I realize that I can't find the words to say what I want to say about this as well as I want to, because there's just a lot that I feel is done not through being able to communicate it, but the experience of it? Either way, the point is it's good. I just wish that the good relationship dynamics we have weren't attached to a middling action game that only goes on sale for 10% off and costs $60.

[n0-1r]

late niught owrdump yummy

i would like to preface this with

this is honesty just a word dump of whatever was going through my mind at 12 am

usually i'd do this through 20 whatsapp status updates but im posting here now

hmm hurt/comfort mmm time-travel fix-it mmm fix-it au mmm

wow i love angst!!!!! im so okay rn!!!!! love fighting tears rn!!!!!! its 12 am!!!!!!!!!

bro i fr think this fic im reading rn is a DID analogy

like guy from one universe wakes up in his body from another universe with significantly less ytrauma and both consciousnesses (wow long word) take up the same body and both have a certain amount of contol over it

yay! i love having unsolicited trauma dumps from this guy in a fic im reading

wow so fun best nite 8vr!!!!

hmmm tatsuya parallels

WAIT THIS FIC IS SO TATSUYACORE

dick is totes akiren jason gives major tatsuya vibes but tatsuya is wayyy to nice for him tim kinda gives mikoto energy but is probably edgier cus trauma souyu is honestly too good for the batfam i mean he's the silliest nicest guy ever omg that's so duke meta and countrybumpkins are basically the same steph could be either femcs but i think kotoko suits her better WAIT OMG MY BABY NAOYA wait kinda giving dick lowkey i thinl he suits it better

with this analysis i have found that therapy is important

honestly this stray kids is the only thing getting me throug this

OH FUCK I HAVE FICS TO READ IM LIKE 18 UPDATES BEHIND UHHHHHH

want the energy that itzy have in this song rn this fic is actually tragic(ly hurt/comfort its hurting me too much the comfort hurts)

CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE

ITS A PIECE OF CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE

CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE

YEAH PIECE OF CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE CAKE

EW HATE THIS LET ME ENJOY SOME ART DAMMIT

OH FUUUUUUCK I HAVE TUTORING TMR WITH THIS BITCHASS TEACHER WITH SOME OUTRAGEOUS FEE MY DAD WOULDNT TELL ME AND WHO HASNT BEEN ABLE TO COME FOR 8 WEEKS CUS SHE SUCKS I HOPE SHES A TERRIBLE TEACHER SO WE CAN GET A BETTER TUTOR LIKE MY DAD DOESNT EVEN WANT HER IS CUS OF MY COUSIN AND UUUUGH SHITTY TERRIBLE NEGLIGENT ASS MUM UUUUGH

wow guys i really do hate communication issues

guys im fr gonna cry but giga's voice is just so good i cant rn

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME RN

JUST AS I WAS PLANNING TO STOP

NUH UH NOT WITH THIS CLIFFHANGER NO WAY

WOW HAHA SO NOIRMKL THI SIS O OKAY I SO OKAY RN TGIS IS TITALLY FINE OWIW HAHA FINEWOWOI TITALLY LOVE THUS RN THI IS GRAT SO MUCFUN

that's so yandere tho

AAAAAARRRRGHHHHHHHHHHH IM SO INSANE RN

I LOVE YOU ALFRED YOUR MY ONLY HOPE I BELIEVE IN YOU YOU CAN DEVELOP PLEASE

guys im like actually crying rn likr real tears

fuck sleep it's 2 am i will not stop until i get answers

mmmmmmm maybe i should sleep

oh wow thanks new jeans i just i should go to sleep asap

I NEED SLEEP SLEEP NOW GOODNIGHT GUYS LOVE YA STAY HYDRATED AND WELL RESTED UNLIKE ME

i then proceeded to stay up for 15 more minutes

[aracaeli]

The Sign of Three

NOTE: Merry Christmas @elfchensdcartblog from your DCMK secret santa!! I’m sorry for posting it at the last minute possible, I should probably have said Happy New Year instead. Here is my humble gift to you. Also, I’m sorry for not writing it with the accent. Regular english still gives me trouble and I’m not sure I’m capable of writing it right. Big thanks to @dcmksecretsanta for hosting he event.

I’m really rusty, but actually making this gift is more fun than I imagined. I forgot how soothing writing can be. Please forgive any mistake I made, happy reading! ^^

----The Sign of Three----

“You know, this is a very bad idea.” Heiji said to Kazuha for the sixth time that day. He’s practically sulking by now. On default, Heiji is not a big fan of malls. Much less going to a mall two days before Christmas. Suffice to say, the place was packed. People are everywhere. There’s people who are getting their christmas shopping late, young couples celebrating christmas together, or just some rando who had the bright idea to come to the mall near christmas. The mall even blasted out “We Wish You a Merry Christmas'' in every speaker on loop. Heiji swears if he finds the person responsible for that song that guy will have to answer to him.

Kazuha however is chipper as ever. She ignored his comment and instead was busy looking at toy displays in front of her while whistling along on the christmas song. Heiji wouldn’t even be here if Kazuha had not dragged him out. Heck, he wouldn’t even leave the house if it weren’t for her. His plan is to stay at home and do some reading, maybe go out for a bit to get food, but that’s it.

Kazuha apparently had other plans for him. She insisted on making him come with her to her class christmas event today and accompany her to do last minute shopping for the kids. Apparently the school wanted the students to celebrate Christmas by making a christmas event where the kids can play and exchange gifts. Only, the actual event is two days early from christmas because the kids will be celebrating with their own family on the actual christmas.

The idea is stupid. Heiji said as much.

He gets smacked in the head for that. Heiji had tried to lie his way out, but Kazuha immediately saw through him.

And that’s another weird thing about Kazuha lately. They had been married a while, but Heiji was sure that her changes only occurred recently.

Lately, she seems to become more observant. She often notices small things that she didn't notice before. Normally if someone moved her pen when she was away, she wouldn’t notice, but now she was able to tell the exact distance of the pen’s displacement. 

Another weirdness is, she woke up by the slightest noise. Before when Heiji had to stay late because of work, he was able to get to their bed without waking her. Now Kazuha is awake when he cracks the door open. If Heiji made a noise, she was able to tell exactly what was causing the noise, even if she was two rooms away. Heiji didn’t know what was the cause, it’s not like it’s the first time he saw that kind of ability. He had good ears, so does his father. What’s weird is that Kazuha suddenly developed one, too.

Maybe it was contagious?

Heiji shakes his head, chasing the ridiculous thoughts away. Despite Kazuha being weirdly observant, Heiji managed to secure an awesome gift for her, in his humble opinion. The subject of his musings is still shopping happily, uncharacteristically unaware of his thoughts. 

Kazuha is still looking at the display. But now she has already moved to the far end of the store. She picks up the toys one by one and assesses them carefully, as if it was important evidence on a crime scene. After a while, she held up a toy truck in front of him.

“Do you think Mikoto-kun would like this one?” Kazuha asked, holding a red toy car that resembles a fire truck. 

Mikoto is one of Kazuha's students in elementary school, who Heiji really doesn’t like. Mikoto, like most the boys in her class, had a crush on Kazuha-sensei and wanted to marry her when they grow up. Nevermind that Heiji visited the class and told them that Kazuha was already married to him.

In response to that information, Mikoto--who had the smuggest face for someone barely older than a toddler-- just looked at him from top to bottom, face clearly displaying unimpressed. “Oh well, we’ll see about that.”

The audacity.

Not caring what the brat would get for Christmas, Heiji answered shortly, “He’s a kid, that’s a toy. The math suggests that he would be thrilled.” 

He thought she would get annoyed with him, but his wife just shrugged and went back to shopping. In the end, she made a decision and took the toy to the counter to pay for it and told him to wait for her. Heiji watched her with a suspicious gaze, wondering if what meets the eye is really the truth. 

Heiji thinks it’s weird that Kazuha invited him to the event. While it’s not the first time he has come to her class and participated, it was always such a disaster. Considering what happened when he was present, he should be banned.

In his defense, it was the brat’s fault. Everytime Heiji comes to pick Kazuha up, he will ‘accidentally’ step on his foot. Kazuha makes Mikoto apologize to him of course, but the boy apologizes with a sleazy grin not fit for a child. One time, when he visited Kazuha during class, the brat ‘accidentally’ poured paint all over his shirt. Heiji tried to get back at the kid, but as if sensing his petty intention, Mikoto immediately cried.

Worse, Kazuha never sided with him. She came and comforted the kid while Heiji had to watch the kid buried his face in Kazuha’s chest while giving him the smuggest smile known to humankind. He had to bite back a curse. 

Another incident that popped in his mind is when Heiji cursed in her class, in front of the children. It was actually quite comical, the children had simultaneously stopped what they were doing and looked at him in shellshock, Heiji stood awkwardly for a minute. He was about to make a run for it. When one of the kids decided that what he had done was unacceptable on so many levels and tattled on him to Kazuha.

Kazuha had put him on time-out as if he was five despite his protest to her.

“I can’t play favour, Heiji. It’s not a good example for the kids” Kazuha said sternly while putting her hands at her hips. Long story short, he lost the debate.

He had to sit in the hallway to think about what he did while the other children peeked at him curiously from the window.

One kid even booed at him.

Yeah, it was not his proudest moment.

While he was reminiscing, Kazuha came back from the cashier, carrying one more bag in her hand. She didn’t have any trouble carrying it, but he decided to perform his duty as a good husband and took the bag from her hand. Beside, this way her hand would be free for him to hold.

Chiding himself for being sappy, Heiji linked their fingers together in a loose grip, suppressing the blush that always comes despite already being married to her. But Kazuha was having none of it today as she tightened her hand.

Kazuha leaned closer on him. Their arms linked together and her nose almost brushed his shoulder. 

“Let’s go upstairs.” Kazuha said, leading the way. As they walked side by side, she broke the silence.

“Did you finish your christmas shopping?” Kazuha asked. The mall was crowded and loud, so Heiji really had to pay attention to hear her. 

“I did. Finished it weeks ago.”

“Including my gift?”

“Yes.”

“Is it a living thing?”

“No.”

“Is it a nonliving thing?”

“We’re not playing 20 questions!”

Kazuha pouted. She bit the inside of her cheeks and turned her face away from him. Giving Heiji her side-view. And suddenly he finds himself resisting the irrational urge to kiss that protruding lips in public. Fortunately, unlike with the case of  Fairy’s lips, he still had common sense left.

“I think I know what you get me.” Kazuha said suddenly. 

Heiji gave his wife a skeptical stare, surely she was just bluffing, afterall he went through a painstaking measure to make it a surprise. He even draws a murderboard, which he hides in Kudo’s house, much to the latter dismay.

“No you don’t.” Heiji sneered.

“Hmm let’s see now,” Kazuha put her hand to her chin, mimicking his favorite pose when solving a case, complete with a smile, which may appear innocent at first but completely devious. 

“I know that you suck at handcraft. And I don’t see you working at anything, so it can’t be handmade. You said it was a non-living thing, so it can’t be a pet. Judging by how quick you are in answering my question earlier and the fact we have a joint account, it’s unlikely to be a trip or a dinner.”

Heiji started to sweat. Is this what the suspect always felt whenever he made a show of his deductions? Still, Kazuha is not done yet.

“The fact that you finished weeks ago means you had planned it for awhile. You’ve gone to Tokyo for a suspicious amount of time, it can be unrelated to gift-buying, but my instinct said it was very related. But it’s weird that you go so far just to shop, there’s plenty of places here where you can hide your gift. That suggests the involvement of an outside party. Probably a delivery. Which means…”

Kazuha added a dramatic pause.

“....it was custom-made.”

Damn. What’s gotten into her?

Still, Kazuha went for the kill, “The fact that you’re giving it to me, big chance it was a jewelry. Probably a necklace. Since you had no sense when it comes to women’s fashion, the one you custom it’s not probably the design. If my deduction is correct, that necklace would have my initial.”

Heiji completely avoided looking at her. Somehow his pride is trampled over her deductions. He had plans after all. The only solace he had was Kazuha doing all of that is kinda hot. So he let it pass.

“Am I right?”

Heiji shrugged. “I don’t know, you had to wait.”

Kazuha gives a little happy jump, almost knocking a lady that was passing by them.

“I can’t wait for a necklace with a ‘K’ pendant to come.”

Heiji nodded along with her statement. The pendant that he ordered is actually spelled ‘K.H’, since Kazuha had officially become a Hattori now. He decided to let her little mistake in detail be left uncorrected and changed the subject.

“Can we go now? I think this place is getting more packed.” Heiji said, and true to his word, someone bumped into him. Said person didn’t even apologize and just walked. 

“Hold on, I still need to buy one more for Chika-chan.”

“Huh? I thought it was a secret santa.”

“It is, but I’m buying a present for all of my students in the class.”

Heiji frowned. “Why? Isn’t that a bit much even for you? You’ll see them again next year.”

He felt her getting tense. She was looking straight ahead but he can tell that she was carefully masking her face as casual indifference.

Shrugging her shoulder, Kazuha answered, “I just want to make this year memorable.”

Heiji observed her face carefully for any clue, but sensing his curiosity, Kazuha looked back at him and feigned a smile. Deciding to not pursue it further, he noted this exchange and kept it in Kazuha’s folder, a place in his mind palace where he keeps anything related to Kazuha that he finds odd or weird. That folder had recently become thicker and thicker.

“Let’s go up one more floor, I think I see a store selling hair accessories.” Kazuha said quickly as she pulled him along by his hand to the elevator direction. Heiji followed along.

She accidentally stumbled on her steps. Delaying them for a few seconds. In consequence of that, they missed the elevator. As the door closed with a resounding ding sound. It was like a butterfly effect, the world just decide what he needs today is a murder.

If only they got on that elevator, they would have missed the shrill scream of a person discovering a dead body.

But unfortunately they did.

Knowing that scream everywhere, Heiji felt his detective sense alert in an instant. But before running off to the source of the commotion, he looked at Kazuha first, wordlessly asking for her permission.

Kazuha sighed, smiling softly, “Go”.

Heiji gave her a cheeky grin. He  handed her the shopping bags to her. Since both his hands are free, he had the chance to strike a cool pose before running off by gripping the edge of his hat and pulling the cap to the front.

“I’ll be back.”

------------------------------------------------------------

In the span of time for one call to the police, five interrogations, and one person broke down crying later, Heiji managed to gather the suspects in the back of the store. The body is found in a clothing changing room. A man in his late thirties, wearing casual jeans and polo shirt. The corpse had been found laying on his back, half his body leaned on the mirror. Eyes wide and mouth wide open. Although there is no blood. 

The store owner had been very helpful in aiding his investigations. She closed the crime perimeter and helped gather witnesses. Even though she initially insisted that the man just had a heart attack, until Heiji pointed out the signs that he clearly is poisoned.

Heiji was busy doing his usual detective work that he didn’t really notice that Kazuha hadn't shown up even after thirty minutes had passed since they heard the scream.

Heiji was about to search for her, already worried that something happened to his wife. But as he was about to walk away from the crime scene, Kazuha catches up with him, completely unaware of his worry. She even brought a drink in hand  and casually sip the cold liquid from the straw while looking around the crime scene curiously. 

“Solved it yet?” She asked. Slurping the boba tea. 

Heiji was momentarily distracted by the movement of her lips. Shaking the unwanted thoughts away, he looked back at the corpse.

“Not yet. So far, here’s the situation. Someone is found dead in the changing room of this store.” Heiji gestured towards the corpse.

“No blood.” Kazuha remarked.

Heiji nodded. He feels weirdly proud that she participated in the case. He resisted the urge to pat her head, “Exactly. Death by poison.”

“Cyanide?”

“No, arsenic.”

“Who do you think did it?”

“Well, I figured out the trick, But I’m still not sure who did it.”

Kazuha nodded solemnly. Still slurping her drink. Her gaze turned towards the three people standing behind the store owner who were looking at them the whole time. The three men are the main suspects for the case. Heiji told them to stand far enough so they can’t overhear his conversation. Heiji was sure the culprit was between the man with glasses and the tall one. Although he had no evidence or any defining clue.

“The guy with the glasses seems suspicious.” Kazuha said. Leaning close to whisper in his ears. He instinctively take a step back. Typical of Kazuha to annoy him with her stupid breath and her slurping when he was in the middle of a case. 

Heiji snatched the drink from her hand. 

“How is he suspicious?” He asked, only half-interested in her answer.

“Look at the inside of his wrist.” Kazuha said confidently at first, but she suddenly turned hesitant and quickly shrugged “But, I don’t know though, you’re the Detective.”

Reluctantly, Heiji followed Kazuha's advice and focused on the man in glasses hands. 

Wait….that mark…

“I know who the killer is.”

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

An hour and half later, they finally manage to get out of the mall. Heiji was sure that they were already late to the event. Thankfully, there was no traffic on the way, so they made it to the school ground less than ten minute later. The event hasn't started yet. Most of the kids were still playing around, although Kazuha’s coworkers had pulled out various games and an assortment of christmas themed sweets out.

When Heiji and Kazuha enter the classroom. The children cheered. Immediately, she was surrounded by her students. They formed a circle around her and tried to get her attention. Looking at the spectacle before him, Heiji can’t help but note that Kazuha is really good with kids. 

Heiji put their bag on the gifts table. He searched for an empty chair to sit on. Heiji found one in the back of the room. He sits down on one of the chairs beside the low round table. Heiji was so focused that he didn’t notice someone approaching him.

“So you came.”

Heiji turned to the source of the voice. But he didn’t see anyone.

“Down here”

He looked down and his stare met with Mikoto’s gaze.

“Hey”

Mikoto only grunted. The kid pulled the chair across him and sat down. He slouched on the chair while looking around the room with bored eyes. Heiji noticed that his eyes landed on a little girl with a pigtail who was excitedly chatting with Kazuha. He looked back at the kid and the girl.

Heiji was a very observant Detective. The best in Japan. Despite what neechan said. That’s why the blush on Mikoto’s face didn’t go unnoticed by Heiji. He gave a small sigh. Kids these days, so easy to move on from one crush to another.

“Do you like that girl?” Heiji asked. One eyebrow raised suggestively. He deliberately didn’t gesture on the little girl across the room.

Mikoto looked scandalized, suddenly sitting straight with face flushed red. “What! No! Who likes Chika!?”

Heiji grinned. “I didn’t say anything about Chika-chan.”

Mikoto was about to defend himself. But no words come out. All of his face was flaming red to the tip of his ear. The blush even went up to his ears. In the end, he settled to look away instead. Sulking.

“So…” Heiji began, finding the opportunity to tease the kid highly amusing. “Do you think Chika-chan cute? What’s her deal?’

Mikoto crossed his hand in front of his chest, “She’s not cute! She’s stupid!” he stated, too loud and too defensive to be true. Some of the kids and one teacher had looked their way due to commotion. 

“Hey, stupid is a bad word.” Heiji chided. 

Mikoto was about to protest. But somehow decided against it and mumbled a low “Sorry.”

Seeing the kid actually reminded him a lot of someone. Although Heiji can’t quite recall who. “Here’s an advice, if you like her, don’t pull her pigtails.”

Mikoto, once again, flushed red. As if he was just caugh red-handed. “I don’t need your advice, I bet you also pulled Kazuha-sensei’s ponytail.”

Heiji laughed. It’s actually happened. The scene of their younger years flashed before his eyes. Kazuha used to have pigtails too when she was young and the sight of her hair swinging around as she walked always seems cute and endearing to him. Although back then he had no idea what the feeling blossomed in his chest was. 

Young Heiji never made the connection between the flutter of his heart and Kazuha’s presence. Once Heiji even thought he had heart problems. His mother laughed when he brought his concerns to her. Shizuka had said that he was healthy as a clamp and had nothing to worry about. To his embarrassment, it took him ten more years to finally understand he was in love with Kazuha.

“What are you boys talking about?”

Both of them turned around simultaneously, only to find Kazuha standing behind.

“Nothing,” Mikoto said. Kazuha looked at the two of them suspiciously. “Mikoto-kun, you should join the others. The game is about to start.”

Mikoto sends Heiji a distress signal to help him get away. But Heiji feels no remorse as he shrugged his shoulders in total betrayal.

“Mikoto-kun.” Kazuha said again, voice more stern. In the end, Mikoto sighed and walked away from the couple. Joining the merry and fun of his friends in the center of the room.

Kazuha sat on the empty chair that Mikoto left, staring at the crowd in a somewhat somber gaze, “He reminds me a lot of you.”

Heiji immediately defended himself, “What! I am nothing like that brat.”

“You two seemed to get along, though” Kazuha said.

“No, we’re not. He hates my gut. Apparently he used to have a crush on you.” Heiji added, “And just so you know, those little accidents that he did, are not an ‘accident’.”

Kazuha laughed. “I know. I just wanna show how ridiculous you are, getting jealous of kids.” Heiji opened his mouth, but she cut him off, “Don’t even try to deny it.”

Heiji blew a harsh breath. Looking around at the happy kids around him, the christmas decoration is exquisite, and the cookies smelled delicious, even from when he was sitting.

“Why do you insist I come anyway?” Heiji asked. Although he probably knows the answer. With how observant Kazuha is lately, maybe she noticed that he’s not having such a great time at work. 

But his wife is always able to surprise him. “I’m pregnant.”

Heiji gaped at her as the world turned into a standstill. Voices become mute and he swears the earth stop spinning.

Kazuha...is pregnant…

Kazuha is pregnant.

He heard the words clearly. But the meaning didn’t actually register in his head. Kazuha is pregnant? With his child….

There’s another human being that he will be responsible to. Someone who looks like him. Or maybe Kazuha. Maybe a well-behaved kid like Chika-chan or a brat like Mikoto.

What would he do if his kid makes bad choices? Or become too reckless like him?

He could feel his panic rapidly growing by the second. The thought of bringing a human life in this world is downright overwhelming. Kazuha might be good with kids, but he is not. What would he do with one? That’s easy, he should feed it. Oh God, what did you feed a kid? What does a kid even eat??

As if sensing his rapidly growing panic, Kazuha called his name. “Heiji,”

When there was no response, Kazuha grabbed his hand that was laying on the table. The contact startled him. His eyes turned to her.

“We’re gonna be fine, Heiji.” Kazuha added, “Beside, I’ve been thinking about it, and I think I want to focus on raising our family.” 

Suddenly, it made sense. Why she wants to make this year christmas with her class so memorable. The way she is acting so weird recently. There’s only one thing he can’t figure out, thought….

“I don’t get why you suddenly become so observant, is that another side effect of pregnancy?”

Kazuha stared at him in bewilderment, “What are you talking about?”

“You! You were suddenly very observant. Like a detect--” Heiji stopped mid-sentence, he abruptly stood up from the chair, knocking it backwards. As if he just received the meaning of the universe, he exclaimed:

“Oh God, our child is gonna be a detective!!”

.

.

.

A/N: And thus, Heisuke is doomed since he was a literal fetus to be a detective by his father. 

There’s a local belief in my area that when a mother is pregnant, how she behaves is influenced by the child’s personality. So if a woman often gets angry during pregnancy, that means the child is temperamental, so on. Halfway writing this, I realized that it might be too weird and specific, so I ended up rewriting it into a more general trope. Although dumbass me misread the fact that Kazuha is elementary teacher-to-be, not elementary teacher. Still, I hope you accept this as a humble sort-of-headcanon to your Heisuke AU.

I actually really like the concept of the AU, I had to refrain myself from liking and reblogging all the posts because then you would have easily figured out that I’m your Secret Santa (lol). Can’t wait to see your next works. Good luck and Merry Christmas! ^^

[teddystrap]

[神なる君と] Osananajimi Duo - Yakumo

Second route of the game. #mfw ==== (ง•̀_•́)ง‼

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-Takekiyo Yakumo-

Niiiiisssssaaaannnnnnn!!!

Yakumo is the other osananajimi of the trio. He is one year older than Sakuya and Narumi, and acts as the protective big brother - when they were young, some older kids took Sakuya’s *precious amulet*, and Yakumo went to get it back from them and got beaten up really badly. 

Sakuya later tells him that at that time he seemed like a ‘hero’ and she had always looked up to him. So I guess there’s like a love triangle (...love flowchart??) that goes: Narumi --> Sakuya --> Yakumo since the very beginning.

Also early on in the story, Yakumo tells Sakuya in a ‘simulation event’ that, even if he loved her, he would never confess and they can never be together, because it would end in tragedy. Pfffft whatever nii-san, that just means I will have to make the first move *evil laugh*. 

My feelings during his route went from hilarious, to sad, to finally disconcerting. He’s kind of a poor bastard and MIA in half of his own route. When I finally got the the two endings I wanted to throw my game console out of the window... (╯°□°)╯︵ ԀSԀ

Yes, exactly.

Aaanyway, there are two big revelations here:

1. Aki’s backstory: Kibi Aki is the 16-year-old spirit medium sent by the Ministry to spy on monitor Kunihoshi Shrine, because Mikoto forgot to send in his report (#justMikotothings). After Sakuya accidentally fucks up one of her assignments, it’s revealed that she actually comes from a renowned onmyouji family, and left home to train under the ministry at a young age in order to prove herself.

2. Kunugi’s backstory: Kunugi is the shape-shifting demon who stole the *magical seal* that protects the town, and Aki’s target of investigation. I didn’t expect to like him at first, but his tragic romance is pretty kewl I have to admit:

Kunugi was a douchebag since birth and terrorised the village so all the villagers hated him. One day, a girl named Yuki wandered into his territory. She was a grade A-level village idiot idiot, and after 3 days of trying and failing to find her way out, he gave her some food and water so she wouldn't die on his grounds. She was very grateful and started to get close to him. She also begged him to stop terrorising the village. Eventually she annoyed him enough that he agreed.

Then gradually, he began to help the villagers here and there, and even became friends with them. One day they wanted to thank him for his help. They gave him a small wooden box, and told him it was some kind of national treasure. Just then Yuki intercepted, and the box emitted some light beam that went into her body.

After that Yuki got progressively sicker and on the brink of death. Out of anger and confusion, he tried to destroy the box, but it's more sturdy/fireproof than an LV tote bag. Eventually she told him that the box contains a cursed rock (i.e. the remains of the Great Demon), and once every two hundred years the village has to offer a human sacrifice to prevent the curse from escaping and causing disaster. This time the villagers chose him, so she gave her life to save his...

Kind of hard to imagine how she fell in love with this (ahem *Aki*)... hopefully a few hundred years ago he took on a sexier appearance...

But I digress. Let’s get back to Yakumo XD. So his deal is basically that the Takekiyo bloodline has been chosen as the human sacrifice every 200 years. As a result, Yakumo is inflicted with a curse that puts him to sleep for longer and longer periods, until he eventually goes into a longggg sleep and never wakes up. This also explains his superhuman athletic abilities and sixth sense, because the Force be with him powers of the Great Demon live within him.

Early on in the common route, he occasionally says things like, ‘you must live on happily when I am gone’ and gives Sakuya a #sadface, like someone with a terminal illness. Eventually Sakuya finds out the truth from his parents, after which he couldn’t hide anymore, and starts to reveal all his fears and doubts, as well as his feelings for her.

As it turns out Yuzuru knows a way to break the curse, but it requires putting Yakumo into a coma for years, and there’s a good chance of death. Basically the supernatural equivalent of a high-risk medical operation I guess. He has until the hoshimatsuri to decide whether to take a gamble with this method, or let the curse continue slowly chipping away at his lifespan.

...Of course he chooses the former. You’d be an idiot not to.

1. Good End: It’s been 7 years (!), and he still hasn’t woken up from his coma. According to Yuzuru, 5 years is the ‘safety period’, and after that he’s as good as gone. Sakuya doesn’t give up, and **10 years later** (#tumbleweeds) he finally wakes up on hoshimatsuri night. They go on to have a baby who looks ridiculously like Yakumo ...and will probably be affected by the same curse...? Oh well let’s hope Yuzuru is still alive by then to do his thang.

2. Tragic End: Under Yuzuru’s advice, Sakuya gives up and lets him erase all her memories. Yakumo eventually wakes up after 10 years anyway, and it sucks for him because unlike in Narumi’s end, Yakumo still remembers everything and has to live with it for the rest of his life. Like I said, poor bastard...

Understatement of the year.

*

[Thoughts] Somehow this route felt shorter and less tearful than Narumi’s, maybe because I got used to the general setting and gameplay. Yakumo’s ema events feel like they came out of a shounen manga and had me in stitches the whole time. I can’t recall any other otome game that made me laugh this much (...except maybe 「私のレアルは充実している」).

What I like about this route is the added tension here compared to Narumi’s route: in Narumi’s case it’s pretty obvs that he has a crush on Sakuya. He said it himself that he’s never viewed Sakuya as a sister from the beginning. So on that front there’s no doubt from his side, his whole conflict revolves only around the ‘forbidden love’ aspect.

Whereas with Yakumo, when he shows hints of feelings towards Sakuya, they’re often ambiguous between the actions of an older brother towards a little sister vs. a love interest. That made it all the more exciting.

Also apart from the curse/risk of death and that stuff, Yakumo also had his ‘manly pride’ to reckon with - letting Sakuya see his weak side and realise that he’s not always her ‘hero’. It was pretty damn emotionally satisfying when he finally came clean about his secrets and started letting Sakuya into his world. Although, much of his later dialogue is pretty cliche tbh. I actually found his baka persona more interesting. But eh.

I guess it’s this pride of his that makes it necessary for Sakuya to be an adult here. Whenever his white lies or ‘fake cheerfulness’ made her angry, she had to learn/choose to coax things out of him gently instead of calling him out on it. Conversely I felt that with Narumi she was more direct, and had more leeway for wagamama.  

The Aki/Kunugi story arc was a high point of the route for me. Aki’s background helps to explain her personality in so many ways. I love her character growth and development here, as she eventually learns to accept help from other people, instead of trying do everything by herself. Ahh... her whole story strikes so many chords with me. I also love how she got her own grand love story here.

(Part of me is curious if the Aki-lookalike and Kunugi’s ‘true form’ will make an appearance later on. It’s a long shot, but let’s hope!)

This route also revealed a lot about Yuzuru, whom I’m liking more and more and whose story I’m really looking forward to... I thought I had more to say about him but nahhh. Asshole who’s a secret softie at heart <3.

I’ll sign off this post with the following pun from Genpei which I thought was pretty cheeky -

[gascon-en-exil]

I Liked Fates Before It Was Cool!: Revelation Part 3

Prologue

Opening Chapters

Revelation Part 1

Revelation Part 2

Chapters 20-Endgame, in which the Fire Emblem is a chainsaw.

Chapter 20 + 21

I bet this scene looks wonderfully silly if Takumi is promoted to kinshi knight.

I’m going to be combining many of the chapters in this post, because even though they take a while to play through there’s not much to them in terms of story. Of course Anthony is evil and Corrin has to kill him, although not before Anankos turns him into a Faceless (or was he one all along?). I think I would have preferred the humor of fighting him as a village with ludicrous stats over the sympathy grab they go for with him. It’s also worth pointing out that it’s the three older Nohrians who call out Corrin for trusting Anthony first, putting some of that healthy distrust they show off in Conquest to work again. I don’t like that we’re apparently meant to find Corrin’s endlessly trusting nature endearing because it’s what brought this group together and not, you know, self-insert narrative privilege, but whatever. None of FE14′s routes could go forward at certain points if Corrin didn’t occasionally grab the idiot ball, and at least this time they had the foresight to come up with a backup plan.

And I am actually glad that they did so with Anthony, because while Chapter 20 is more standard Valla fare the trap they fall into in 21 comes with a clever premise that’s fun to play around. I dislike how the chapters continue to be loaded down with entirely too many drops and chests as I mentioned last time, but I find that as long as you plot out routes for your units before you start the size of these maps isn’t a problem. 

One final question, since I didn’t bring it up in Birthright: why is the S rank naginata, which is obtained in Chapter 20 in Revelation, called a Waterwheel? Just...why? I have never found an explanation for this.

Chapter 22 + 23

Well of course she has, just look at those growths.

I find Arete intriguing as a character, though not so much either version that appears on screen - the brainwashed servant of Anankos or the sentimental dying mother - but rather the idea of her as she existed against the backdrop of the volatile Nohrian court. That element of her has to pieced together from inferences and bits of information in supports, but it’s clearly there. I fully understand why Revelation includes characters like Arete and Anthony. They have to convey over only a few chapters the nature of Anankos’s rule over Valla and its dominated subjects as well as make for credible threats to Corrin as they trek through the kingdom. This is the main reason why Arete’s real characterization is, much like Garon’s, extremely minimal, because the pain it inflicts on Azura is meant to demonstrate how Anankos operates. It’s a natural lead-in to the antagonists inside Gyges, certainly.

Kind of a shame though that the most lasting impression Arete leaves on the player is that of a boss who just will not give up, seeing as you have to fight her three times. I can’t think of another antagonist in the series who’s fought so often over such a short span of chapters. What’s worse, neither of these maps is very engaging; the first borrows the forest-burning Dragon Veins from Midori’s paralogue without the gimmick of chasing down the boss, while the second demonstrates something everyone already knew, that turn-based platforming is not fun. Scarlet’s return as an enemy leaves no impact unless Corrin or Ryoma fights her, so that’s not working too well either.

Chapter 24 + 25

Chapter 24’s gimmick may not be original, but an optional stealth mission works substantially better here than it does in Path of Radiance’s earlygame since Revelation is already well-established at this point as being one long experiment with gimmicks. I also like how the door mechanic plays into Corrin’s desire to trust Mikoto - and that the last door rewards players willing to go against the desperately trusting personality of their self-insert. Plus, it’s not a complete cheat; one of the first things Mikoto tells Corrin in the chapter is the blue doors are the correct ones, so her contradiction at the ends rings false even on the level of a simple puzzle. For what it’s worth mentioning I never bother with the stealth option here just as I don’t in FE9, because it’s tedious and requires a very specific setup and execution for a reward that’s not really worth it.

I find Mikoto difficult to engage with on an emotional level however, for much the same reason that her death didn’t resonate very strongly with me. It helps this time that all of the Hoshidan royals verbally react to seeing her again, but for Corrin this feels like a less substantial meeting than Azura’s reunion with Arete. Azura and the Hoshidans have memories of these women and the positive influence they played in their lives, whereas Corrin has, what, a few days’ worth of interactions with their mother and some very hazy memories from before their capture? I do like how Mikoto reveals at the end that Corrin is Vallite royalty, not because it adds even more to the super special Avatar status or because it establishes that Corrin and Azura are cousins (surprise sort-of incest, yay!) but because it re-contextualizes their place in the world both connected to and apart from the other royal families. It does absolutely do those two other things and is rather awkward on that basis, of course, but Vallite Corirn is able to comfortably exist in between their two families while still having a place to call their own. A ruined, empty place, but that’s for the epilogue.

At first I was planning on doing Chapter 25 as a separate entry, but then I played through it and realized that it’s just more moving platforms and hard enemies with another family reunion boss that’s nowhere near as emotionally affecting as the previous two. We see nothing of Sumeragi prior to this chapter aside from his brief death scene flashback, and unlike Arete his role as a parental figure overlaps significantly with someone else’s. I don’t get a strong sense of how important this reunion is to anyone except maybe Ryoma, and half of that comes from remembering their one-on-one back in Chapter 5. Come to think of it, the disguised Sumeragi has that quick cameo on the Birthright ship map, right? I suppose that’s technically the only appearance of anything from Valla on that route, although in retrospect it’s even more random for him to have shown up there. So, yeah, harder chapter, but can’t really compare to what came just before as a story moment.

Chapter 26

Betrayed by a Jagen! Who’d have thought we’d ever see the day...unless you consider Orson in FE8 a Jagen, that is.

As big twists in FE go Gunter’s doesn’t quite measure up to some others, like the Belhalla barbecue or Nasir in FE9, but it took me some thinking to properly parse out why this isn’t as effective a climactic reveal despite adequate use of foreshadowing and setting. It actually ties into one of the overall problems I have with Revelation and another time it compares unfavorably to Radiant Dawn (and I’m sorry to keep bringing it up if you hate FE10 or haven’t played it, but the parallels really are apt). One of the biggest genuine criticisms of that game’s plot, particularly near the end, is that the story gets too big for itself and spends all of its final chapters throwing at the player numerous major reveals about the plot and setting, many of them not directly related to each other and only immediately involving some dozen or so of a cast of playable and/or named characters about ten times that size. Like Revelation the pacing is utterly frantic, and moreover it gives the player the impression that in order to understand the Tellius setting as a whole and what themes the developers of that duology were aiming for you have to be intimately familiar with the content of Radiant Dawn’s endgame specifically, which...yeah, you kind of do. How that could have been better handled would be a subject for another post, but suffice it to say that the apparent conclusion that Sephiran did every bad thing (except racism) ever in Tellius as a means of tying everything together rings hollow even in-universe. 

The narrative approach of the Valla chapters is similar, but most of its big moments are clearly aiming to be character-driven, fueled by the relationships between the royals and their loved ones forced into fighting them. As I brought up earlier in this post however not many of those moments land because of another major problem Revelation shares with Radiant Dawn, that there’s been almost no time to develop any of those relationships with the plot moving at such a speed. You’d have to have seen Gunter’s supports - which aren’t even accessible on this route - to be able to appreciate at all his history with Corrin, since from the story text of Revelation and Conquest too for that matter there’s little to suggest anything beyond a straightforward master-servant relationship until the very moment when Corrin is pleading with Gunter to resist Anankos’s possession. Without that context the most relatable emotional moment of this chapter comes from Ryoma’s anger at learning the identity of Scarlet’s murderer, which we’re clearly not meant to dwell on much because that might imply Ryoma is capable of holding a grudge. It doesn’t help either that Gunter’s genuine hatred of Garon gets muddied by the Anankos possession angle, something that didn’t come into play until years after he began grooming Corrin as an instrument of his revenge. At least Takumi didn’t go off the deep end until after being possessed.

As for the chapter...ugh, I’m just so tired of this route. Mikoto’s ward actively discourages you from splitting up your forces to go after the absurd number of chests that line this map, and this late in the game there’s almost no reason not to just rush Gunter. Funny that’s he’s pretty underwhelming for an endgame boss - that’s a Jagen for you.

Chapter 27 + Endgame

A question I’ve never seen anyone else ask before: why is Anankos wearing a Buddha mask anyway? It’s apparently just a wall fixture in the castle that he’s hiding behind, and while I get that they wanted to conceal his true size and cosmic horror features for Endgame in the fashion of JRPG bosses with multiple phases the mask is entirely unexplained. Is it meant to be ironic that a dragon styling himself as a god is wearing the face of the major figure of a religion/philosophy with no deities?

I will say that the mechanics of the final battle match the concept of Revelation perfectly. You’re strongly encouraged to split up your forces into three groups to attack all of Anankos’s weak points quickly, which matches up well with the route’s theme of Corrin (and Azura) + Hoshido + Nohr. It’s also not one of those final bosses that’s easier than what came immediately before, so additional kudos for that. Also, Garon’s death on this route is mercifully swift, ripe for even more trauma for the Nohrian royals that no one’s got any time to dwell on.

Aside from those remarks...bleh. The story may conclude faster thanks to lacking the near-death sequences of Birthright and Conquest, but that pace just pushes forward to the very end with Corrin being crowned ruler of a kingdom with no people...except Hoshido and Nohr both cede territory to Valla so that they can have some citizens, because that’s reasonable and won’t cause any confusion or hard feelings. I even took the trouble to S rank Azura, believing incorrectly that it would in some way be reflected in the ending as the only instance of supports in Fates affecting the main plot. Nope, Azura still rejects the rule of Valla and passes it off to her husband as if nothing were different. Then everyone hugs and it’s a little bit gay and the series main theme plays and oh God I’m just glad this route is over. But hey, a chainsaw Fire Emblem is bizarrely badass if you’re into that kind of thing.

PS: Chapter 10 is still The Worst.

Next time: ending and final thoughts on Revelation

[brella]

i feel like we always ask you about books so today i wanna ask you some anime recs :)

HOW INTERESTING THAT YOU SHOULD COME TO ME NOW, JUST AFTER I FINISHED ATTEMPTING TO BRIBE A TWITTER MUTUAL WITH A PHYSICAL CAKE SO THAT SHE WOULD WATCH AN ANIME I LOVE. i am always happy to share anime recs. 

ping pong: the animation (dir. masaaki yuasa): effusive yutaka “peco” hoshino and reserved makoto “smile” tsukimoto have been best friends since day one, and both of them love to play ping pong. peco, a child prodigy at the sport, loves it with all of his soul, and is so confident in his own talent that he’s become arrogant; while smile, in spite of his natural talent, does not take ping pong seriously, seeing it as nothing more than a way to pass the time. things are shaken up for the boys by the arrival of wenge “china” kong, a chinese player sent to redeem himself in japan after being kicked off the national team, who skunks peco in their first match, sending him spiraling into crisis; meanwhile, smile catches the interest of the school’s coach, a former star player, who is determined to make sure smile does not waste his talent. also joining the cast are manabu “akuma” sakuma, peco’s belligerent rival since childhood, and ryuichi “dragon” kazama, vanguard of the elite ping pong team at kaio academy. when all is said and done, will smile and peco’s friendship—and the love of ping pong that bonds them—remain? i urge everyone to watch this anime; it is perhaps the best i’ve ever seen. a work of art, of joy, of sadness and failure and triumph—a tribute to being alive, and to what it means to love something so much you feel like there’s no point in being alive if you can’t do it. and the animation, voice acting, and score are outstanding! 11 episodes.

the tatami galaxy (dir. masaaki yuasa): an unnamed college student is perpetually dissatisfied with his life, bemoaning the fact that he can never seem to grasp that “rose-colored campus life” he was certain he would have upon attending college in kyoto. just about the only thing he has in his corner is his mischievous frenemy, ozu, who drags him into scheme after scheme that only seem to make his situation worse; and a fellow student, akashi, who the protagonist has feelings for, but can never quite seem to spit it out. after a bad break-up sends him over the edge into total cynicism, he starts to wonder if his college years would have been spent differently (i.e., better) if he had chosen to join a different club on his first day. unbeknownst to him, the desire to go back and do it over again does send him back in time—each episode is an alternate timeline based on which club he joined. no matter how things change, though, he always seems to keep running into ozu, to just miss akashi, and to get involved with a man calling himself higuchi, who claims to be a god of matrimony; a bone-headed popular senior named jougasaki; and a beautiful but intense dental hygienist named hanuki. in the protagonist’s quest for the perfect college life, however, will he miss what’s right in front of him? i really love yuasa as you can probably tell and this, just like ping pong, is beautifully animated, great fun, and unexpectedly moving. a testament to the little things, to seeing the beauty and wonder in what we have. and the opening and ending are GOD TIER. 11 episodes.

gekkan shoujo nozaki-kun (dir. mitsue yamazaki): if you somehow haven’t watched this yet, please love yourself and do it. a romantic comedy series that follows 16-year-old chiyo sakura’s attempts to woo her crush, umetarou nozaki, gsnk, contrary to the shoujo form, actually begins with her confessing to him—but he misunderstands and gives her... his autograph?! yes, it turns out nozaki moonlights as a hugely successful shoujo romance mangaka, and he’s been needing an assistant, and sakura is in the art club... convenient! this show has it all—uproarious humor, masterful comedic timing, incredibly charming characters, and just the right dose of heartfelt romance to warm any heart. other cast members include mikoto mikoshiba, nozaki’s best friend, whose flirtatious antics constantly cause him to nearly die of embarrassment; yuzuki seo, chiyo’s best friend, a brash and oblivious jock with a beautiful singing voice; hirotaka wakamatsu, a mild-mannered basketball player constantly aggrieved by seo’s bullying; yuu kashima, star of the drama club and dashing prince of the school; and masayuki hori, drama club president and kashima’s ever-frustrated director. love is in the air not just for sakura, but for a few others, as well—it’s going to be an interesting year! 12 episodes.

kids on the slope (dir. shinchiro watanabe): kaoru nishimi is a shy and depressed honor student, classically trained to play the piano, who has spent his entire life moving from town to town due to the nature of his father’s job. at the beginning of the summer of 1966, he is sent to a small coastal town in kyushu to live with relatives, and is prepared for another year of loneliness until his world is turned on its axis when he meets delinquent sentaro kawabuchi. the two develop a strange and unlikely friendship, and kaoru soon discovers that sentaro, or sen, is an avid fan of jazz, then an emergent form of music in japan, and plays the drums in the basement of a record store owned by the family of his childhood friend, ritsuko mukae, with whom kaoru immediately falls in love. when ritsuko says that she would love to hear kaoru and sen play together, kaoru begins to acquaint himself with jazz, too, and finds that it holds more magic than he expected. part classic coming-of-age drama, part love letter to the jazz genre, this series was, fun fact, directed by the man behind cowboy bebop and samurai champloo—so, like, if that isn’t a testament to its quality, i don’t know what is. it will make you cry, though. just warning you. 

silver spoon (dir. tomohiko ito): desperate to escape the pressures of his home life, beleaguered honor student yuugo hachiken foresakes his chances of attending an elite tokyo high school and applies to ezonoo agricultural school in hokkaido. at first holding himself a rung above his peers, due to his perception of them as bumpkins who have never had to work hard academically due to their security as farmers, hachiken quickly learns that there’s a lot he doesn’t know, and he’ll have to work hard if he wants to keep up with his peers. though initially withdrawn, hachiken comes to make many new friends, and soon begins to take his studies seriously, earnestly trying to learn all he can about the world of agriculture and how it affects the lives of his friends. this series is easily something i’d call “the feel-good story of the decade,” but it also has many profound and emotional moments, and a hugely relatable protagonist in hachiken. it’s definitely a comedy, but at its heart, it’s one of those special series that kind of takes your hand and smiles at you and says, “yeah. i get it. i know how you feel. but it’s all right. life’s pretty fun, even if you don’t notice.”

hyouka (dir. yasehiro takemoto): to this day i’m still a bit stunned that kyoto animation managed to come out with something as good as hyouka, since it’s so different from their other works, but the truth is there. it’s simple, with a cast of only four characters and few recurring side ones; a subdued score using mostly public domain classical pieces, a quiet high school as the backdrop, a close and intimate portrait of the four kids it brings together. the PV actually does a fine job of introducing the characters—apathetic houtarou, inquisitive eru, cheerful satoshi, and caustic mayaka—so i won’t go into that too much. essentially, houtarou is urged by his sister to sign up for the classics club after no one else does, since it will be disbanded if it does not have at least one member. much to his surprise, someone else already has signed up by the time he does—a curious girl named eru with an insatiable appetite for mysteries. though houtarou lives by a philosophy of what he calls “energy conservation,” eru has a power over him (read: he has a big, beautiful crush on her) that compels him to go along with her antics, and his penetrating intellect doesn’t help much. satoshi, houtarou’s best friend, and mayaka, a childhood... acquaintance of houtarou’s, also join the club, and hyouka chronicles all of the things that happen to them over the course of their school year. when asked about the meaning behind the title (”hyouka” means “frozen dessert”), the author of the novels said, “the colour of youth is like ice cream. its many flavours are like the spectrum of a rainbow, but no matter how it tastes, what doesn’t change is its richness and flavour. another distinguishing feature of ice cream is the short time one has to eat it, and how we must take care to avoid polluting it. it’s just like how youth is full of numerous possibilities, but its fragile and limited energy is easily challenged by the outside world.” i think that probably speaks for itself in alluding to the bittersweet tone of the series. it really is one of my favorites.

and, because my fingers are getting tired: yu yu hakusho is my favorite shounen series by a mile and one of the few for which i highly recommend the dub—it’s long though, 100+ episodes, but worth every minute. i’ll be glad to go into why yyh specifically is the best in a separate post if anyone is interested bc hoo boy. uchouten kazoku season 1 is great and one of my favorites but season 2 was kind of eh to me. if you like action and tragic romance, kyoukai no kanata is my second-fave kyoani series after hyouka, though it does have some fanservicey bits and fetishy humor that kind of date it a little bit. and if you haven’t started boku no hero academia yet—PLEASE GET ON THAT; IT’S SO MUCH FUN! 

and, of course, the anime of my heart and soul: lovely complex, a romcom about a tall girl and a short boy, and their arduous, hilarious, heart-melting journey from vitriolic best buds to lovers. hits all the right notes. no other shoujo compares. it’s a series that anyone and everyone can AND WILL enjoy. 

i hope that’s enough to get you started! :’D pls let me know what you think if you watch any 

[hyacinthetic]

end of the year writing meme 2k17

because i did this last year and i want to gloat over my truly embarrassing uptick in wordcount.

Total number of completed stories: 8 + 1 wip + 1 snippet.  Total word count: 151,100, MOTHERFUCKER. Fandoms: voltron, persona 5, natsume’s book of friends.

Overall Thoughts

Looking back, did you write more fic than you thought you would this year, less, or about what you'd predicted? TOO MUCH VOLTRON. WAY, WAY TOO MUCH VOLTRON.

What pairing/genre/fandom did you write that you would never have predicted in January? i have 40k of lotor/matt sitting on my hard drive. it's going to break 60k after edits. i don't want this life.

What's your own favorite of the year? the post-series winter cult au was my favorite bit of writing, but i am gonna clutch the pseudo-utena pastiche (disclaimer: not actually related to utena in any way) to my chest all the more because nobody else will. 36K WORDS, MOTHERFUCKERS.

Did you take any writing risks this year? mmm. i've used the second-person pov before to varying degrees of efficacy, but the junior detective kurusu akira fic and the every day au were the first times i really tried to use it as a proper conceit -- a choice that related to the way the character wanted the story framed. ymmv on how well they worked (ha! ha! most of the second-person punch in the junior detective fic happens in the ~20k after the prologue, oh god, nobody even knows what i'm talking about). at the v. least, i still think the every day au's ending wouldn't pack such a punch from any other perspective.

Do you have any fanfic or profic goals for the new year? WRITE STUFF THAT ISN'T VOLTRON, FOR FUCK'S SAKE. i've been reduced to just clawing at doors hissing LET ME GO... LET MY PEOPLE GO ...

From my past year of writing, what was...

My best story of this year: definitely the post-series winter cult. people keep describing it as hard to get into, which, yeah, it is. but it's also the most polished piece from this year.

in general, my best fic is always still the dazai/yosano thing from 2016. i didn't even round out all the subplots for that one, but because it's a crack ship, the whole dynamic is something i made, and i think that earns it a place on the trophy shelf.

My most popular story of this year: the shrine guardian au, i guess? which is bewildering, frankly: it's very fluffy, but i don't see that it does anything better than my other works. not to be all lucille bluth, i love all my children equally!!! and its prose is fine, but i wouldn't call it a standout piece.

Story of mine most under-appreciated by the universe, in my opinion: it is a tie between my two big voltron aus -- i understand why the pseudo-utena flopped as hard as it did (60k worth of fic crammed into 36k, badly edited, had to cut two subplots and it still turned out a mess), but the darkest timeline auniverse fic was decent work with mediocre prose and a fuckton of worldbuilding. i'm this close to digging up a worldbuilding meme and answering all the questions that literally nobody will ever ask. THERE WAS SO MUCH TIMELINE BUILDING IN THAT ONE.

Most fun story to write: fun & joy are lies. all fic is suffering. only the motor fic came close, and that was awful in a different way: two characters with little established personality having to build chemistry and worldbuilding at the same time. fuck you both.

Story with the single sexiest moment: hilariously, despite the amount of porn i like to write, none of my fic's been personally sexy to me since 2013's mikorei pwp in which mikoto blew up some buildings and then convinced munakata to fuck him into a wall. what can i say, i'm an arson kind of girl.

Most "holy crap, that's wrong, even for you" story: nothing posted this year! but i'm gonna talk about my impending january posts because god, fuck, i'm not waiting a year so that i can talk excitedly about my 60k nightmare, i plan to be fucking burned out on voltron by february.

anyway: the first time i tried to explain lotor/matt to my best girl, she promptly texted back in horror: "DID YOU WRITE FIC WHERE LOTOR SOULBONDS MATT AND LEAVES HIM TO GET GANGBANGED." and, like. i want to explain, but the actual explanation wasn't really that much more comforting. so, there'll be that. i guess.

(there's actually no non-con involved! it's not even dubcon! IT'S NOT EVEN MATT WHO GETS LEFT.)

Story that shifted my own perceptions of the characters: the fucking motor fic. i knew what i liked about lotor as i was going in -- 90% of my motivation in writing it was "okay, i can't make any of the existing major lotor ships work for me, let's just throw this ridiculous spaghetti galra at a shipping wall and see what sticks" -- but matt was much more nebulous to me. i know fanon matt isn't all that far off from the matt we actually saw in season 4, but i was interested in someone who wasn't an older, cheerful, ingenious, meme-loving version of pidge. and the detail that i really got stuck on was the fact that he was a cadet when he went to kerberos, even though keith was the best pilot in his class and keith couldn't go. why?

obviously the simpler answer's "narrative convenience" and "why would anyone trust keith enough to send him into space with millions of dollars' worth of space equipment". but i really did want to play with the alternative too.

Hardest story to write: fucking god. the european travelogue was downright awful to get out. i think it's partly that there's an emotional density to it that isn't really present in my other fic, and partly that it's 25K OF SHIRO DESCRIBING ARCHITECTURE THAT IS PERFECTLY EASY FOR ANYBODY TO GOOGLE AND LOOK AT WITH THEIR OWN EYES.

i also found sheith particularly hard to build as a convincing slowburn. i have no idea how anyone does it. the ship's selling point, to me, is that keith would give shiro anything. if shiro weren't romantically interested, keith would live and die for him in every other way and be absolutely satisfied by that. i never write keith as secretly wanting more than shiro can give -- he'll do it by accident, when he misunderstands what shiro's capable of, but ultimately that's not what keith wants himself to be. shiro plays by the rules a little better, understands the risks + selfishness of dating someone only to leave them for a dangerous ten-month expedition -- but when it comes down to it, i can't write them as anything other than two people who understand each other at the baseline, where it counts. like, shiro may not actively acknowledge it, but i don't think he DOESN'T know that keith has no breaking point when it comes to him, and that there is very unlikely to be anyone else who could ever be what shiro is to him.

anyway: 25k of no-plot fluff! jesus! it was a fun little experiment, and i'm still amazed and delighted that anyone hunted my tumblr down to ask for fic. but i'll probably never write anything like that again.

Biggest disappointment: can you believe that i wrote 36k of psychic bonding fic and it didn't lead to telepathic porn? there's a lot in the utena pastiche that made me go "mm, not enough", a lot that was flatly messy first-draft fumbling, and i've never been happy about how it turned out, but that's still the biggest outrage to me. like. what was even the point. there's so much about it that makes me itch to rewrite, but the number-one reason that i never, ever will is that i'd have to find somewhere to fit porn to make it worth my time AND SOME THINGS ARE JUST IMPOSSIBLE.

Biggest surprise: i!! posted!! 100k+ words!!!!!!! WITH OVERFLOWING PUNCTUATION BECAUSE I DESERVE IT, MOTHERFUCKER. ficwise, though -- the lotor/matt au. why the fuck would you ship two characters who literally have no screen time together, share nothing in common, and are unlikely to develop a dynamic in future seasons, let alone this one? answer: ME: You have to promise to read the Lotor/Matt thing even though I've realised that their portmanteau is "Motor". MY GIRL: WELL now i have to read it ME: ME: Never mind, your boner killed mine.

but the joke's on me, because the one way to guarantee that i'll write something is a hot girl telling me she'll read it.

i love how most of this meme is grim self-encouragement to finish a fic that feels like it is literally killing me by dint of being the longest goddamn thing i've written in my life.

Most unintentionally telling story: well, it was GONNA be the junior detective kurusu akira fic, but i DIDN'T FINISH THAT.

on a more personal note: the every day au's ending was never in question for me. i'm rarely in the mood for conversation, but i can't stand keeping my feelings to myself: i don't feel real unless someone else can see me. it's why i like to yell in my post tags and do memes even though i follow like three actual personal blogs and a significant portion of this tumblr's designed to actively discourage 90% of people who stumble across it from adding me. the idea that, when you strip the viewer out, the object disappears -- that's probably as 'me' as a story gets.

Highlights + Wrap-up

Favourite Opening Lines (3):

The courthouse's a brushfire of camera lenses.

You wake up. [ ed. nt: not really the most unique or interesting of opening lines, but i've started to appreciate how this echoes throughout the piece and then builds into a clusterfuck chorus by the end. ]

[ nope. the other first lines weren't that great. fuck you, meme.]

Favorite 5 Line(s) Ficbits from Anywhere: [ ed. nt: fuck you, word limits & punctuation. ]

"I knew you were gone—long gone. No one could've called you back. But I just kept saying—if they were really Voltron, you'd be with them. You'd have come back for me."

"You stand," Allura whispers, "on territory that was consecrated by the five rituals of essential transference. You stand within the walls that my grandfather built, the walls for which my father sacrificed everything to keep from enemy dominion. The planet Altea remains because I lay claim to it, because I have not yielded to time and I will not yield. You may have served as Zarkon's witch; but in these halls, your very life hangs on Altea's mercy, my mercy. Either you'll remember an Altean's manners or a prisoner's—but so long as you speak to me, Haggar, you will choose one." -- so this fic was a series of dramatic triumphs that i did not build up to and therefore had no right to put in, but i don't care. if i'm going to write 100k++ of fic in a year, it's gonna be spread out over like ten different fics. and this is my favorite of the dramatic non-love confessional speeches that i wrote this year.

Keith lisps briefly and nastily under his breath. "Why would anyone pronounce an apostrophe?” <-- me throwing shade at a hundred years of scifi.

[ fuck you, listicles. ]

[ fuck you pt. 2. all the other sentences sucked. ]

Trivia left out of three fic:

pidge survives the events of the every day au and does eventually go on to form voltron. i left the fic where i did as a dramatic stopping point; in my head, i always knew where things were going to go afterwards. this clarity was helped in no small part because i had to immediately spill my guts to my best girl after she finished reading and realised in outrage that i'd given her a 19k fic in which her otp kissed zero (0) times. but yeah, everything works out -- albeit with a superdose of trauma -- and keith and pidge in particular have a moment which appeals to all my friendship kinks. i couldn't write the sequel in second-person, though, which is probably why i'll never do it. if i can't be pretentious and tragic, and i still can't work in any porn, then what is the point.

shiro, in the weird tattoo porn thing, has no idea of the effect he's having. in his mind, he's just being reasonable. this ties into my preference for writing s3-4!shiro as someone who thinks of himself as the same man who fell to earth a year ago, someone who has survived the galra over and over, someone who wants to lead in the war and deserves to do it. the trouble with this is that about one-point-five of those things are not necessarily things that the original shiro actually believes. i love this discrepancy between writing the two: there's one who buys into his own mythology of being a hero, and there's one who just wants everyone to survive and be happy and safe. in an ideal world (note: ideal to nobody but me), project kuron would be a thing where they created a perfect clone of shiro with all his memories but accidentally infused it with just enough galra beliefs about strength and the importance of war that it sabotages voltron's mission. that particular shiro doesn't mean to be fucked up, but his beliefs are, and he doesn't realise it until after the fallout of everything he's done hits the team. it's the entire basis for his behavior afterwards. this is one of those character development things that fell into the margins between the tattoo porn and its weird au sequel. i should have written the fic in between, i'm sure it would've been less confusing for everyone who read the goddamn sequence, but honestly, you could not pay me enough to write about keith and shiro's relationship falling apart.

this was never made explicit in the fic itself, though it seems pretty clear to me, but here goes. of the ten photographs, nine are pictures that shiro takes for keith to remember them by. the last is one that keith takes for shiro.

Lessons learned about writing in 2017:

when in doubt during edits, read the paragraph out loud. you don't have to do it very loudly, but people respond to something that flows off the tongue even if they aren't actually reading it out to themselves.

you're a niche writer. you write for you. that means you don't really have to edit if you're tired.

deadlines are bullshit. don't sign up for any more events featuring those.

with the way i write, there's always an element of mistrust. in my shorter fics, people are breaking up because they can't trust each other, or they're teetering on the brink of getting together -- but. in my longer fics, i really, really love to throw an unexplained element of mistrust into the mix (see: the fic where shiro leaves his own dimension and refuses to go back without any explanation) and only 'reveal 'it at the end. mistrust is an easy shortcut to tension. it's a good way to reframe the story, but it's also ... hm. predictable if it's literally all you write? i like to think that i'm capable of writing plots whose value isn't entirely based on the way they're told. i just need to let the story breathe once in a while.

the comma before 'too' is grammatically incorrect when that's the end of the sentence. my entire life is a goddamn lie.

there's such a thing as overdetail. a loose sketch and a twinkle of atmosphere will do better than three dense paragraphs detailing exactly where all the cathedrals are. my god, i never want to leave this continent again.

the best writing feeling is posting something and then tweaking all the small mistakes out of it. the second-best writing feeling is bringing someone you like a freshly-killed (read: edited) piece of prose, then demanding pets and cuddling for your great act of magnimity and courage.

looking back on my life, i should have been born a cat.

Fic-writing goals for 2018

post/finish all 80k of my existing drafts, THEN LEAVE VOLTRON FOREVER, I'M SO DARKLY EXCITED ABOUT THIS EXODUS.

seriously, write for any fandom but voltron. oh my god.

maybe i can just dive headfirst into ocean's eight and write a lot of bantery f/f until everyone forgets my embarrassing gay robolion phase.

a sci-fi au for nirvana in fire, heavily influenced by recent military scifi, in which (contrary to all the imperial death traditions) the chiyan army's memories and consciousness are ostensibly deleted from the imperial archives as punishment for their betrayal. several years down the line, jingyan finds his political influence rising with the advice of a helpful and very insistent ai advisor. IT'S TOO COMPLICATED AND I'M STILL THINKING ABOUT IT.

did you know that the natori/matoba section on ao3 has no explicit fic at all? like, zero. 2018 goals, baby. i don't care that nobody needs to know what horrible things they'd do to each other in bed. i'm gonna be this ship's rule 34, or the arsonist who burns down the house of the person who gets to it before me.

[heiwanoryu-archive]

RULES:  List five tropes applicable to your character, then tag others to do the same.(Tropes Wiki)  REPOST! DO NOT REBLOG.

Tagged by: No one; a friend linked it to me. Tagging:  YOU.

Badass Bookworm: The Avatar isn't on Robin's level of intelligence or tactical ingenuity, but they do read in their spare time, and while naïve, are far from stupid. By the end of each game, the Avatar will have bested in combat great generals, dangerous criminals, royalty, hulking monsters, shape shifters, reanimated soldiers, seasoned veterans, and depending on the route Garon's dragon form ("Birthright"), a slime monster, an empowered Takumi ("Conquest") and finally their true father, a dragon-god-king ("Revelation").

Badass Princess: The Female Avatar, as she's a part of the Nohrian royalty (and even though she was adopted from Hoshido, she was of royalty there too) and is far from helpless. Also, her initial class is called Nohr Princess.

Blade on a Stick: While the Avatar can't use lances by default without re-classing, it's revealed in the female Avatar's support with Shiro that she's skilled enough with a lance to give him a run for his money. Considering everything the Avatar knows about fighting comes from Xander, a Paladin, it's not surprising.

Blithe Spirit: The Avatar doesn't particularly care if others perceive them as weird when they help out—and thanks to their optimism and social ignorance, they often do come across as such. It's especially notable in Revelation, where they shock everyone by choosing neither side to make their own.

Bond Villain Stupidity: Invoked late in Conquest when they have Ryoma at their mercy. The Avatar tells Garon they should spare him to extend his suffering, although the real reason is because they actually don't want to kill him.

Character Development: All routes give the Avatar different development due to the circumstances in question. To wit:

In Birthright, they grow more and more furious over the atrocities committed by Nohr, but at the same time, becomes all the more resolute in their idealistic beliefs. By the end of the route, they still remain firmly believing in their idealism, but they're much stronger mentally from where they started.

In Conquest, they join Nohr with the noble - if somewhat naive - intention of changing Nohr from within, believing that the war can end quickly if they change Garon for the better. Sadly, it doesn't work out, and the Avatar soon realizes that the only way to save the continent from ruination while changing Nohr from the inside would be to go along with the plan to invade Hoshido. By the time the route reaches its climax, they go from a Wide-Eyed Idealist into somebody who reluctantly cast aside their own ideals in order to change the world for the better. It's to the point that when confronted by a possessed Takumi, the Avatar doesn't even bother to justify their actions and instead accepts Takumi's rage without a second thought.

In Revelation, they get a mix of their Birthright and Conquest development. They are no longer naïve to the happenings of the world and become confident in themselves, but are still kindhearted and optimistic to a fault.

Cultured Badass: The male Avatar isn't just a skilled warrior. He can play the piano, likes poetry, is well-versed in philosophy, and is even said to learn how to sing if he marries Azura. [ I apply this trope to the Female Avatar as well ]

Deadpan Snarker:  The Avatar dishes out their fair share of snark throughout the story.

Azura: Avatar! We have trouble! Nohrian forces are approaching! Avatar: Seriously? We haven't even been here five minutes...

Girly Bruiser: The Female Avatar comes across as this. She's as battle-hardened as her male counterpart, but her female-specific support with characters like Caeldori show that she enjoys girly things like romance novels.

Good Is Not Dumb: As nice and naïve as they are, the Avatar is not stupid. They clearly don't buy Garon's claims that he wasn't trying to kill them with the exploding sword on Conquest, and on Birthright they'll actually list the event as one of the reasons for their defection. In Revelation, they aren't fooled by Anthony's deception, pretend to go along with it and effectively out-gambit him, and later correctly deduce Scarlet's killer based off something only they would know.

Good Is Not Soft: They're no pushover, either. Before the route split, they stand their ground against Garon and, with their dragon powers, intimidate Hans into talking about his assassination attempt, and afterwards they prove they're willing to resort to threats if it can get the job done — even on the lighter route, Birthright.

Hurting Hero: During Conquest, the Avatar's supports with Azura reveal them to be this. To elaborate, they have recurring nightmares over the Hoshidans that have died as a result of their choice, and is having a crisis of morality over just how far the ends justify the means, even believing that they're going to Hell for what they've done. This doesn't stop them from pressing on, however.

Informed Deformity: If Peri is in the Hot Springs with a Female Avatar, she will comment that the latter's body is covered in scars - enough to make her giddy - though this isn't reflected by her character model. Of course, it's possible that they've just faded too much to see outside of very close inspection.

Innocently Insensitive: The Avatar was raised away from the world, and while kind-hearted, occasionally makes a comment or question that seems normal to them, but insults the other person.

Lethal Chef: Per the series' tradition with its Player Characters, the Avatar can't cook at all. They manage to burn tea in their supports with Jakob, and are implied to produce food that tastes like steel (they were taught to cook by Gunter, who can't cook either). This trait is a bit inconsistent with the female Avatar, who reveals herself to be a fairly skilled baker in her Support conversations with Dwyer.

Living Emotional Crutch: It's strongly implied that they are this for several characters.

Nice Guy:

Caeldori: You always put the needs of others before your own. Even when dangerous, you choose mercy, compassion, and kindness over all else.

No Social Skills: The Avatar is a fairly forward individual who sees nothing wrong with behavior others would label "unconventional", such as shouting in a public area. This can be chalked up to their reclusive childhood not giving them the chance to develop normal social skills. Despite this, they still manage to get along with people well enough.

Oblivious to Love: The male Avatar has around half a dozen ladies that can potentially be crushing on him, but he never notices until they flat-out tell him. Camilla and Rhajat drop some very obvious hints about being into him, Hinoka and Felicia have liked him for some time, and Sakura and Azura are implied to fall for him after meeting him for the first time. His failure to notice is Justified given his isolated upbringing and lack of real social interaction.  [ I apply this trope to the Female Avatar as well ]

The Pollyanna: Rain or shine, the Avatar is a perpetual optimist and is rarely in a bad mood. This trait endures throughout Birthright and Revelation (though in the latter, it gets somewhat tempered, due to the dire situation at hand since Anankos was seeking to destroy humanity), but gets utterly crushed in Conquest.

Red Oni, Blue Oni: Red to Azura's Blue. The Avatar isn't exactly hot-headed, but they do tend to make decisions based off their hearts instead of their heads, as well as being openly emotive.

Royalty Superpower: As a descendant of the First Dragons, and in fact the direct child of Anankos, they are able to use Dragon Vein, which will be inherited by any child they become a parent of.

Shared Family Quirks: Orochi states in her support with Ryoma that Mikoto was very fond of sweets just like the Avatar. The Avatar also inherits Anankos's apologetic attitude. Several characters such as Fuga note how the Avatar has the same personalty as their adopted father Sumeragi.

She-Fu: This normally-female trope actually applies to both genders. The Avatar might be the most acrobatic lord in the series; their fighting style incorporates many flips, graceful spins, jumping sword strikes, and rolls.

Skilled, but Naïve: The Avatar is well-known to be naïve despite their skill, as Rinkah and several others refer to them as "that sheltered Nohrian prince(ss)".

Spock Speak: The Female Avatar speaks formally at all times.

Strategy Versus Tactics: Unlike Robin, the Avatar is good with the latter but not the former. While their charisma makes them an excellent leader in skirmishes and the Male Avatar's support with Shiro show he's good at discerning an immediate opponent's strengths and weaknesses, both genders lack the vision to handle large-scale battles. Their supports with Leo in particular showcases this difference, with the Avatar being upset at their inability to command large forces and Leo upset as his inability to command small ones.

Survivor's Guilt: Never outright stated, but it's implied they suffer from this, due to Sumeragi and Mikoto dying to protect them. Their supports with characters like Kaze and Yukimura have them apologizing for surviving Garon's ambush when Sumeragi did not—something they had no control over—they often express doubt over their own worthiness, and they downright panic if they're ever forced to leave allies behind. Depending on the route, they may have to watch even more of their loved ones sacrifice themselves for them, and express a great deal of anguish over that as well.

Sweet Tooth: Several of their supports include them handing candy to the other person, implying they love sweets and keep some on them at all times. Jakob also mentions making some for them in his supports with Effie.

Trying Not to Cry: In late Conquest, when Ryoma kills himself in front of them, they hit a point where they need to walk away and verbally remind themselves that crying now would ruin their facade as Garon's obedient, cold hearted child. It doesn't work, and they shed several chapters' worth of Tears of Remorse.

Unstoppable Rage:It doesn't happen often, but when the Avatar gets pissed, they get pissed. Their mindless, grief-driven rampage in Chapter 5 is perhaps the best example of this, followed up by their Paralogue with their child Kana after seeing them attacked.

In Conquest, when Iago tells the Avatar about all the things he has done under the king's orders to ruin their life in their pre-fight conversation in Ch 26, the Avatar straight up says they will kill him.

Warrior Therapist: The Avatar is always willing to lend an ear to the troubles of their comrades, and will do whatever they can to help.

Weak, but Skilled: While the Avatar is no slouch in battle, and is arguably one of the best fighters in the army, they are far from the strongest, finding themselves bested by more powerful opponents like King Garon, Xander on Birthright or Anankos in Revelation in straight-up single combat. Rather, their greatest strengths are their intelligence and analytical ability; their charisma; their determination; the Yato; and their bonds with the many people that are or grow loyal to them, especially the royal siblings. Their fighting style seems to reflect this trope as well—lots of flips, spins and twists that lack power, but are very fast and hard to dodge.

Wide-Eyed Idealist: The Avatar has a rather hopeful, idealistic view of the world. Depending on what route is chosen, it may or may not be broken by what happens next.

Xander: Mark my words, Avatar... One day an act of kindness may be the death of you. Avatar: Perhaps, but if I'm kind, I will die without regrets.

[kara-no-ai]

KOR Bad Boys part 3

" --Suoh Mikoto." Kusanagi's classmate sitting in the seat in front of him had said when looked out the window, his hands that he had been using to wolf down his bento halting to a stop. "That's Suoh Mikoto, isn't it? Huh, lookin' at him from here he doesn't seem all that dangerous."

Kusanagi followed his classmate's gaze and looked outside the window as he munched on his homemade sandwich. Though the courtyard was visible from the third year students' classroom, he did not see the corresponding person.

"Where?"

"The bench underneath the tree over there. Ah, you can't see it from the angle you're at. He must've finished eating or something, he's just laying around."

From where Kusanagi was sitting, the tree must be blocking his view. However it was not something worth going to the trouble of standing up to see, so Kusanagi returned his gaze to his lunch. It was a baguette filled with leftover food from the Bar Homra; the leftovers themselves were tasty so it was actually quite good. The filling of the sandwich he had today was lettuce and ham, as well as a ratatouille of vegetables stewed in tomato sauce. As it was a dish that could also be served cold, it worked well in a sandwich and the saltiness of the ham provided a good seasoning.

"Suoh Mikoto, huh...."

He had just talked about that very person with Nagahama last night. Suoh Mikoto had been a famous boy in Shizume City from his middle school years. This spring (1), he had entered the school Kusanagi was going to, Suga High School, as a first year student.

Since he had come to Tokyo, no sooner after Kusanagi had started to familiarize himself with the town had he started to hear rumors about Suoh.

When he had turned the tables on some of the hoodlums lurking around Shizumene City that had picked a fight with him, his opponents were left in critical condition, having lost consciousness for a period of time. Fortunately, as they all survived and did not have any lasting injuries. Therefore, although it was borderline excessive for self-defense, it was categorized as justifiable self-defense and did not become a criminal matter. Since a group of delinquents who boasted of their strength had been defeated and nearly killed by a kid of 12 or 13 with his bare hands, rumors started flying throughout the city. And the same thing repeated again and again.

A group that had went to seek retaliation had instead been beaten up themselves, then a group that had heard the rumors and had grown a bit curious and faced him. In fighting with such groups, it was only natural for grudges and hostility towards Suoh to develop amongst the teams of delinquents. As such, the opportunities for Suoh to be violent increased.

Kusanagi had never once heard of Suoh losing a fight. Whether or not it was because he had learned from that experience to hold back somewhat, Kusanagi had never heard of an incident where his opponents had nearly died beyond the first one. Nonetheless, to those who would get into a fight with him, it appeared that fighting with Suoh felt like no less than "risking your life" and he had suddenly started to be called a "wild beast."

It meant that if you were to try to start something, you should be prepared for the consequences. Like how if you mess with a lion, you will be chased and get your windpipe torn open. Or if you throw a stone at a bear, you will get your face chewed up.  

Unlike Earless Mitsuha who had come up in the conversation last night, with Suoh it seemed that he rarely initiated any violent acts himself. In that way too he resembled a true wild animal.

"I wonder why he's in a half-assed college prep school like ours. If he'd went to a school where there were more delinquents he's have been able to become the king of it."

"'Why? 'Cause he's not stupid. Who'd make a point of lowerin' the rank of school they go ta just so they can be king o’ the rock?"

After Kusanagi said such in a shocked tone, his classmate looked at him with suspicion.

"I don't wanna hear that from someone who could've gone to a better school if he wanted to."

"The time it takes to commute ta school's a serious matter, y'know. Life's short. I don't wanna spend mine on the time it takes goin' back an' forth."

Kusanagi's classmate just gave a response of 'what are you saying?' with a laugh at the look of triumph that had risen on Kusanagi's face.

"Plus, I don't think he's the type that'd have any interest in bein' a king."

"Do you know Suoh Mikoto personally, Kusanagi?"

"Nah, I only know the rumors."

Though Kusanagi did not know to what extent the rumors he has heard about Suoh Mikoto are true, 'the type of people who spread these sort of rumors' and what sort of inclinations they possessed was something he could picture.

Since he was famous, if Suoh hung out with people in the night version of Shizume City or had a place that he frequents, Kusanagi would have heard about it. In other words, Suoh was not the type of animal to form a pack.

When the afternoon classes ended, students began to dash out of the school. Kusanagi joined the crowd, walking leisurely amidst the characteristically listless hustle and bustle of the students.

How should he spend the rest of his day? Should he help out at the bar, or maybe set off to roam around the city for fun....? If Mizuomi seemed to have nothing to do he could have Mizuomi show him how to make the Bar Homra's specialty curry from him again. Though it was something as simple as curry, for some reason whenever Kusanagi would make no matter what he did his curry would not have the same taste. It had been bugging him.

He was headed to the place where students kept their bicycles while thinking of this when he caught sight of a female classmate of his by the pathway. She was standing there holding a broom with a troubled aura about her.

"Heya, Nattsun. Yer turn for cleaning duty? (3)"

The girl who was generally referred to by her class as Nattsun stemming from her name 'Natsuki' came over to Kusanagi as soon as she caught sight of him.

"It's Suoh Mikoto!"

While gripping the broom tightly in her hands, Natsuki looked up at Kusanagi with an expression that was the embodiment of seriousness itself. With no prior explanation given, was quite an abrupt declaration to make.

"Huh?"

Yet again that name from last night. Upon Kusanagi gave her a questioning look, Natsuki brought her hand up to her mouth as though she were about to say something in secret.  Kusanagi leaned downwards and brought his ear close to her face.

"You don't know about him? Suoh Mikoto, the first year. The one from the crazy rumors."

"I've heard the rumors. But what's this about him?"

"He's over there." Natsuki said in the same tone of voice that one would say 'they're going to come out' when telling a ghost story.

"Over there?"

"I'm telling you! Suoh Mikoto! In the courtyard over there! And I'm on cleaning duty for the courtyard this week!"

Kusanagi shrugged his shoulders. During lunch break, his classmate who had been eating a bento had also said that Suoh Mikoto was in the courtyard. But two periods had passed since then and it was now after school. When he turned to go towards the courtyard since it had caught his interest, Natsuki pushed the broom into Kusanagi's hands.

"Kusanagi-kun, will you trade cleaning shifts with me? Wow, you're the best!"

"Hey, I never said I'd... tch, 's fine. Ya owe me one."

Taking the broom with a wry smile, Kusanagi pretended to lightly whack her on the head as she laughed happily. It seemed as though she had truly been troubled. He could see the sight of relief on her slightly embarrassed face.

"Ah but be careful. I don't think he would do anything to provoke a fight with a third year out of the blue. But if anything happens, just give me a signal and I'll go get a teacher to..."

"Nah, I ain't worried at all."

It seemed as though Natsuki thought that if someone were to go near Mikoto, they would get bitten. She was truly treating him as though he were a wild beast.

He left her with a 'you'll get embarrassed if you go 'round buyin' too much into rumors~' and headed off to the courtyard.

The Suga High School which Kusanagi went to was not old enough to have a history to it, but it was also not new enough that you could call it a newly established school. Its location was a fairly good distance from where he lived and it had a fairly good rate of students who went on to university; it was a school that on every front was just 'fairly good'.

The afternoon sunlight shone down on the well-maintained courtyard and peaked through the branches of the cherry blossom tree which by now had turned completely green.

There the red-haired boy was. On a bench in the small courtyard which connected the pathways between the east building and west building, lying down with his arms crossed. Perhaps it was because the warm summer air combined with the leaves overhead which soaked in the sun's rays and provided shade invite the feeling of sleepiness, but there he was, truly fast asleep.

Kusanagi was reminded of a stray cat that often came into the yard of his family's house in Kyoto. It was a rough-looking, impudent cat. Despite the fact it was not fond of people, it chose his house as a spot for afternoon naps and when given food would eat it without thought and then suddenly disappear.

The guy sleeping peacefully on the school's bench had an air about him that was more along the lines of an impudent stray cat than a wild beast.

While tapping the handle of the broom against his own shoulder, Kusanagi looked down at Suoh Mikoto from all the rumors. He could just ignore him and go about finishing up cleaning, but his interest in Mikoto had grown. He lightly swung the broom he held in his hand through the air with a whoosh and pointed the tip of the handle towards Mikoto. He lightly tapped him on the side several times.

Kusanagi waited for a response from Mikoto, but despite the poking, he continued to sleep. Even his breathing pattern remained undisturbed.

Kusanagi thought that how with Mikoto seemed right now was far from an undefeated wild beast; on the contrary he looked like even a girl could take him down.

Kusanagi stopped holding back and put more force into poking Mikoto with the handle of the broom.

" 'Ey, first year. Yer gonna be in my way if ya sleep there."

There was no response.

Kusanagi's face twitched. This guy...

In exasperation and a bit of irritation- as well as due to his growing curiosity, he firmly gripped the handle of the broom and put his strength into prodding Mikoto's stomach with it. It was not to the extent that it would be called an attack, but it was a slightly stronger force than you would use when only trying to wake someone up.

A soft, short but dull sound of a snap echoed throughout the courtyard. The broom went flying from Kusanagi's hands, hit the ground with a thump and rolled away.

The hand that held the broom froze. For a brief moment, Kusanagi was unable to ascertain what had happened.  Because Mikoto still looked as though he were sleeping. However, when looked closer he saw that Mikoto's hand was raised. It seemed as though he had used that hand to brush off the broom handle that Kusanagi had tried to poke him with.

Mikoto wrinkled his eyebrows in displeasure and slowly opened his eyes.

"So ya were awake after all?" said Kusanagi as though he was a bit displeased by it and leaned down to pick up the broom.

Suoh, still sprawled out on the bench, opened his eyes a crack and looked vacantly up at the air. He lifted his left hand which he had used to brush off the broom and opened his mouth with a grunt.

Kusanagi had been wary of what Suoh would say but the next thing to come out of Suoh mouth was a big yawn. After an unabashedly big yawn, Suoh slowly sat up. He appeared as though he was still half asleep, seeming not quite have a grasp on the situation. As though he might not have even realized that he had protected himself from a broom.

After debating on how to address Mikoto,  Kusanagi settled with a "....Mornin'?" to which Suoh gave a slow reply of 'yeah'.

Is this guy alright in the head? Kusanagi thought as he watched the still half-asleep Suoh.

"School's already out. Ya can't go about sleepin' 'ere, so if ya wanna sleep then head home."

"Already out....." Suoh repeated Kusanagi's words it seemed as though he was finally alert, or at least the the dazed look in his gaze had gone and been replaced with a sour expression.

"When did ya fall asleep?"

"........Noon."

It seemed as though he had truly slept there from lunch onwards. He had not noticed the chime that rang many times at the start and end of each class, nor woken up when the hustle and bustle that had been going on around him had stopped. There was, of course, no one brave enough to wake up the famous Suoh Mikoto, so he had ended up taking a far longer nap than one should when at school.

"Ya unintentionally skipped out on fifth n' sixth period? Yer somethin' alright. What classes did ya have?"

"Math and........ English."

When he mentioned English, Suoh's expression grew even more sour. Wondering if the English teacher was someone who would fuss over skipping the class, Kusanagi though of who the English teacher would be.

"Ah, lemme guess, yer English teacher's Honami-sensei? If I recall, she's the teacher fer first year class A. 'N also the homeroom teacher."

Kushina Hoemi. The young female teacher that had come to Suga High School the previous year. She was a beauty with a soft demeanor who was very popular among the students. The girl students looked up to her as a big sister and among the boy students there were those who had seriously fallen in love with her. Kusanagi had taken her English class the previous year. Just among the boys in his class, there had been many who had taken an interest in learning the language after hearing her charming voice speak in it when reading English sentences. He was sure Suoh was in first year class A.

Though it was impossible not to feel sorry for the gentle female teacher hearing that she was the homeroom teacher of the well-known Suoh Mikoto, by seeing Suoh's reaction it somehow seemed as though Suoh was the one who had a hard time dealing with Honami.

Suoh frowned and glanced away.

"Honami-sensei might be worryin' about ya since ya didn't show up fer her English class or homeroom, y'know?"

"Shut up." Suoh said in a bored tone. He then stood up.

"I'm a third year, y'know. It wouldn't hurt ya to speak ta yer Senpai in a more polite manner." Though Kusanagi had only complained about Suoh's rude manner in a joking tone, Suoh left without giving the slightest reply. Kusanagi called out after him.

"Wild beast Mikoto."

Mikoto paused and looked back at Kusanagi with a flat expression that said he did not think anything of being called such. He did not seem to particularly dislike it, nor did he seem to care for it in the slightest. The face that Suoh made was just one that was aware that name was something people called him.

Kusanagi gave a small smile.

"That's some name ya got 'here. A girl in my class was scared of it too. It was her turn to clean the courtyard, but she said she couldn't cause the famous Suoh Mikoto was sleepin' there."

Suoh did not give any sort of response. He simply waited until Kusanagi was done speaking and then truly left.

"See ya, Mikoto-kun." Kusanagi called out to Suoh as he walked away. As he had expected, Suoh did not react.

-♛-

Notes:

(1) The Japanese school system is set up that the first semester begins in Spring (more specifically April).

(2) The word used here is ‘Oyama no Taishou’ which is the Japanese equivalent of the children’s game referred to as ‘King of the Rock’ in Mulan (which I chose to render it as for the sake of invoking a familiar image). A kid climbs to a high point and defends it against those who come after saying he’s the only ‘oyama no taichou’ or ‘boss of the mountain’. It’s also used to describe people who are childishly insistent on being in charge or the best, which is what Kusanagi uses it as here.

(3) In Japanese middle and high school, students are in charge of keeping the building clean, from the classroom to the toilets to the courtyard outside. They take turns for who cleans what.

(4) Kouhai are socially obligated to speak in polite language to their senpai, as their senpai are older than them and outrank them in school year. To fail do this, as we see Mikoto do, is extremely rude.

[hyacinthetic]

You've interested me with potential Reitotsu from your "swimming, swimming, swimming" meta. Please expand on this. More detail about preventing territorial blowout, how would Totsuka achieve this? Seri and Kusanagi haven't done it.

i’m going to answer you a bit backwards – first by talkingbriefly about how awashima and kusanagi were bad fits for bringing peace,second by discussing why totsuka would bother, third by addressing reitotsu andwhy it interested me in 2015 but i don’t see it working out too hot.

as a preface: let’s be clear that the full context of my original sentence was “totsuka tries to overcome all his fears of a s4 v. homra territorial blowout” (emphasis added). for various reasons,* his odds of succeeding were always going to be shit. but i do believe that (i) it’s within his wheelhouse to have tried something; and (ii) he’s better-positioned for it than awashima + kusanagi combined. let’s take those points backwards.

( * it’s mikorei. when in doubt, i am always talking about mikorei. )

RE: WHY AWASHIMA AND KUSANAGI FAILED TO RESTRAIN THEIR KINGS

this point makes sense largely if you consider totsuka’s service to his king v. kusanagi / awashima’s services. our most extreme example comes in s1, when mikoto goes hurtling headlong to his death and his childhood best friend—the one who knew him best before he ascended—stands by and tells the empty night, “you were the best king we could have asked for”, knowing perfectly well that suoh mikoto never wanted to be king. similarly, awashima never brings up her concerns with munakata directly in s2: she only confronts him after he comes back and he’s made his own choice. both fall into supporting roles; they don’t tell the kings who to be, they only work to ensure that the kings meet their own goals.

totsuka, by contrast, is a kingmaker in a very real sense. the post you mention quotes snippets such as totsuka’s enthusiastic cry to “make this a great kingdom!” and to convince mikoto that he’s a protector. kings do not default to violence and territoriality  – see ichigen miwa, who lived alone in the mountains and picked up an apprentice almost by happenstance. totsuka tells mikoto what being king means, and mikoto takes his cues to lead. munakata and mikoto may have philosophies at odds with one another, but totsuka’s the reason their conflict’s ongoing. so if you were going to change mikoto’s path without developing any of his canon relationships, totsuka would be the go-to option. he’s done it before, and it’s not out of bounds to think that mikoto’d be willing to change again at totsuka’s word.

RE: TOTSUKA’S MOTIVATIONS FOR STEPPING INTO THE FIGHT

assuming that totsuka has the capacity to change things, the question becomes motivation. we know that totsuka enjoys playing the weakling who acts only by influencing others (see: that time he took homra out to an amusement park to force mikoto’s hand in scattering a bunch of thugs following anna), and that others consider this his role in homra. (“We’re a breed of team where power is like our meanin’ for existence. And on top of that, we’ve got a bunch of guys together who let the blood rush to their heads. Someone who, within that, won’t let them drown in their power… who’ll keep everyone together using a method that isn’t forceful, is needed.”) so what would drive him to push suoh mikoto, the man he’s only ever wanted to follow?

the end of my “swimming, swimming, swimming” post was a throwaway joke, but not out of line with how i’d answer the question seriously: totsuka acts according to his own interests. he started following mikoto in middle school, not for any serious purpose, but because he thought that mikoto had a kingly air and he wanted in on that. so if he thought that munakata was (physically) interesting and he saw an advantage in ingratiation, it doesn’t seem to be a stretch to suggest that totsuka might try to involve himself with munakata to bring peace to the homra-s4 conflict from the other side.

i’m going through totsuka’s motivations in some depth because i can’t, in the end, answer your question positively: i don’t believe he’d win the day re: bringing peace. totsuka’s advantage with mikoto is that mikoto accepts other people for who they are (provided they aren’t actively hurting others), and uses his own strength to protect them. totsuka held onto peace for as long as he did by making sure that mikoto had people to protect. this is not a tactic he could use with munakata, whose core philosophy is that humans need structure and a just system. his power comes from working within the system to bring justice. if there’s one thing we know about totsuka, it’s that the system doesn’t suit him much. he can’t even stand the consistency of keeping just one hobby. and i don’t buy that totsuka would charge in where he didn’t think he had good odds for success.

RE: REITOTSU AT LARGE, or a study in fucking around with paragraphs that have no topic sentences; don’t do this at home, kids.

i’d argue there’s some leeway for at least a superficial friendship based on both their interests and the the way they deal with the relationships between ‘being king’ and ‘being human’. you don’t need canon to tell you that totsuka definitely has at least five 3-D puzzles and three books on japanese tea ceremonies propping up a table somewhere. further, unlike mikoto, munakata seems to feel the gap between humans and kings as an actual loss. (see: various remarks throughout canon in which he tries to assert a connection with people who don’t want him that close.) they have a common philosophy: a king shouldn’t need to be lonely. i’ve addressed above why totsuka would be interested in munakata; it doesn’t seem unreasonable to think that munakata wouldn’t respond to that interest to some degree, particularly in light of totsuka’s connection to the main thorn in his side.

ultimately, however, what brought totsuka to munakata’s door would likely drive them apart, too: mikoto may be a brute, but totsuka’s the one who motivates him to stay in power. let’s take a moment to remember that munakata’s main issue with mikoto isn’t that he’s an asshole – it’s that he chooses to act outside the law, and a large part of that choice derives from totsuka’s encouragement. to give them any kind of serious relationship, you’d need to address the conflict. which is difficult, because the nature of any system is that it presumes a set of baseline truths about a population. homra’s there for the people who fall through the cracks, either because the law doesn’t apply to their problems (see: yata “my mum’s new family doesn’t need me and i’m dumb, who am i even and what am i good for” misaki) or because they’re in a position where they can’t go to the law. they solve things with violence both as a deterrent and because it’s the way mikoto needs to blow off steam. you and i understand this, but munakata likely wouldn’t: at the r:b timepoint, the system is everything to him.

but let’s step back for a moment. there are three core principles to the munakata-suoh conflict: (i) suoh lives outside of the system and munakata within it; (ii) suoh and munakata have people to protect; (iii) suoh and munakata are the slate’s chosen kings. 

as such, totsuka’s options for defusing the homra-s4 conflict are three: (i) bring suoh into the system and make sure he lives by it; (ii) remove suoh’s people to protect; (iii) get suoh to step down.

(i) and (ii) are instantly out of the question – (i) was contrary to suoh’s character even before he became a king;** (ii) would never be true for as long as totsuka was alive, and losing it (per s1) could drive mikoto to burn out instantly. that leaves us with (iii) – which is difficult but not impossible. totsuka’s understanding of mikoto as ‘king’ began long before the slate chose him, and arguably has very little to do with mikoto’s slate-granted powers. what totsuka wants, at his core, is for mikoto to be king and to have human bonds with others. neither of these require that he keep powers that are killing him. munakata’s in an especially good position to convince him of that.

if i were going to do reitotsu in any kind of canon setting, i’d start there.

(** i mean, there’s a workable au in which the japanese parliament sees the rising tide of strain incidents and strikes back against the gold king’s ‘shadow government’ by passing a set of laws that require strain registration and restrict travel for registered strains/clansmen. in the ensuing power struggle, shizume degenerates into territories divided between the rule of separate kings. munakata wouldn’t like it, and frankly totsuka would have to grow the fuck up before he could cope with such an au, but at least then munakata’d have to recognise mikoto as a king with specific grounds for rights. while the catalyst for s4 and homra’s constant battles comes down to totsuka + principles, their actual conflict derives from the fact that homra, in theory, falls under s4’s governance. give them a system in which they maintain separate spheres of power and negotiating peace gets a lot easier.)

IN SUM

i realise the above is very negative. this isn’t to say that i don’t find the relationship interesting in its own way. the canon theme is that nobody ever calls totsuka out on his shit – mikoto periodically sees through it (see: again, their scene at the amusement park) but really doesn’t challenge him. kusanagi’s in a similar position to see through the facades, but arguably has too much to lose by trying to change his dynamic with mikoto and homra. (remember – kusanagi thinks it’s important for homra to have a weakling + a restraint, something that only works if he lets totsuka play his games.) munakata’s as close as we get to a bystander who’s nevertheless involved enough to tell totsuka exactly how much damage he’s doing by using someone else to play kings – and more than that, how little totsuka’s doing for himself by perpetuating a system where his only role is supposedly ‘support’ when he’s capable of so much more.

as for munakata’s interest in totsuka – well. totsuka’s one of the few characters we see who’s fearless with his king. supplemental materials make munakata’s quest for just such a person fairly clear.