#but wylan will fight his way out of that corner

[astrhae]

"Again," Wylan said, and when Jesper opened his mouth to take another breath, Wylan leaned forward and kissed him.

SHADOW AND BONE SEASON 2 + a definitive guide to all wesper kisses

[amsgrey]

take it slow

Kaz Brekker x Fem! reader

request:

hi love!! could you please do a Kaz Brekker x reader where the reader helps Kaz cut his hair?? maybe it’s super hard for Kaz to do it himself for some reason and he finally lets reader help. they take it really slow tho so kaz is comfortable. thanks 🥰🥰

warnings: not proof-read, canon typical violence, talking of gambling, a whole lot of angsty fluff, Kaz working through his skin aversion/phobia, switches a lot between the reader's pov and Kaz's, I tried to be fancy with the wiring but its meh, mid ending

You sighed, looking out over the bustling tables and colourful clothes that made up the Crow Club. Pigeons and regulars crowd the tables to avoid the pouring rain beyond the doors. Nights like this were freezing, the Ketterdam cold had a way of finding the cracks in buildings. Seeping into homes and putting out fires. Whenever it would get too bad, the Crow Club would get busier. Kaz carefully built the club to be enticing, it was hard to leave the comfort of warmth with weather like tonight.

You were in charge tonight, a steep task seeming the steady stream of people entering the club. Kaz had locked himself in his room at the slat, the last job the crows had gone on went south. Kaz took a bullet to the arm, effectively losing his strength for the foreseeable future. It had made him sourer than usual, he had chewed Jesper out for being careless and letting the job go south.

You looked over at the gunslinger now, sitting at a table with Wylan, the latter trying to stop too much money from being squandered. You had promised to stake him for the night, to make up for the way Kaz had treated him, it was the least you could do. Even so, you still felt the gnaw of guilt watching him at the table. You weren't a fan of gambling, at least not the kind Jesper was. He liked the thrill of the unknown, but he never knew when to stop. At least Wylan was with him now, supervising to be sure Jesper had a good time but not so much that he would regret it.

Nina and Matthias were here tonight as well, they hardly ever stayed around the club, but tonight Nina had convinced Matthias to have a drink and enjoy the night. Inej had been with them at the start of the night but had since slunk off to do what she did best. You hoped Kaz hadn't sent her on any errands tonight, you worried the spider might just get washed off her perch if she was. The steep gables of Ketterdam were treacherous on a clear day, they would be lethal tonight.

You were startled when a shout echoed around the room, the man it came from was clearly unhappy with his hand. He stood from his seat and grabbed the dealer by his collar, shaking and shouting in his face. You rolled your eyes, men who lost at the tables often blamed the dealers for their misfortune. The man yelling had silenced the club, everyone watching as Keeg pushed his way over to the man. Fighting and violence were not allowed in the Crow Club, if you had an issue you took it outside. You watched from the stairs as Keeg seized the man and hauled him away from the tables, tossing him outside into the rain with a terse warning not to stick around. The room was bustling again before the doors even closed.

You climbed down the stairs and headed to where Matthias and Nina were sitting, comfortably tucked into one of the quieter corners of the club. Nina lit up when she saw you, as she always did.

'Are you here to join us?" She asked, gesturing to the empty seat beside her.

You shook your head, "Have you seen Kaz tonight?"

Nina rolled her eyes, "I offered to help him with his arm but he refused." She crossed her arms, "Quite rudely, actually."

You offered her a small smile that felt fake, "Sounds like Kaz."

Nina waved her hand dismissively, taking a sip of her drink.

You turned to look back over the club, knowing you should be focused on the events that transpired here, but being unable to stop your mind wander back to the attic of the slat.

Kaz was not the easiest person to love but you did so anyway. Last night you had tried to offer him comfort, but he had lashed out and left you feeling stupid. You knew he had regretted his words, the moment he said them his eyes gave away his shock. Kaz was all sharp lines and harshness, he had boarded his heart up with cruel words and violent ways. You knew that he would not change at the drop of a hat, but you saw the good in him. The good he spent years burying so deep he couldn't find it himself. So you stayed patient, you gave him space when he needed it. Cautious not to smother him or hasten him when he was not ready. He would let you in, piece by piece until all his walls were gone, and he felt safe with you.

In the last few months since getting closer, Kaz had let you past his defences. He quietly told you small details about himself. How he had grown up outside of Lij, on a farm he had left behind after his father's death. How he was always fascinated with sleight of hand - magic - even as he outgrew childhood. He had even slowly told you about his brother. Only small things, like how he had been 5 years older and had died not long after they came to Ketterdam. You could see how hard it was for him to share those small things, watch him fight with himself about if he should tell you. So in turn, you told him about your own quietly kept secrets. It was a strange transaction, but you could feel the bond between you both strengthening the more you shared in the quiet of Kaz's room.

Nina pulled you from your trance with a hand on your arm, she drew your attention back to the present. You turned to look at her, knowing already she could feel how your heart was racing with worry.

"You should go try again," She said, squeezing your hand.

"I'm meant to be closing."

"We can do it," Matthias replied, "Jesper and Wylan will help."

You looked over to where Wylan and Jesper were, they seemed to feel your eyes on them and they turned and offered smiles.

"Go," Nina urged again, "Before I change my mind and cozy up in bed."

You hugged your friend tight, thanking her and asking her to pass on thanks to Wylan and Jesper.

You forced yourself out the doors before you could dwell too much more on it. Keeg waved you off, letting you know he would keep watch as you were gone.

You shoved your hands into your pockets as you walked, keeping your head down to avoid the rain as much as possible. You walked as quickly as you could, sticking to the side of buildings to avoid getting drenched in the downpour.

As you crossed over the bridge a few blocks away from the slat, Inej fell into step beside you. You were used to the Suli girl appearing at your side, if It were anyone else you would get startled, but Inej was always a comforting presence. Sometimes you felt like she was a saint, the way she watched over you and the crows. You told her this often, reminding her of how appreciative you were to have a friend like her around.

"Kaz hasn't sent you on any jobs tonight has he?"

Inej shook her head, "No."

You let out a breathy laugh, "Then why were you jumping across the rooftops?"

You knew the answer.

"I feel at home on the roofs, it's my own Ketterdam."

You hummed, taking in her answer. Inej told you about the time she spent training on the highwire as a child, how she loved the feeling of being free so high off the ground. She was brave and unwavering like that and you admired her greatly for it.

As you came up on the Slat, Inej disappeared back into the shadows of the night. She would return to the club, or retire to her room, but she enjoyed climbing her way across Ketterdam and you were happy to let her do so.

The slat was mostly quiet when you entered. Anika and a few other Dregs were drinking and conversing quietly as if not to disturb anyone. You knew it was to not bother Kaz. Although Dirtyhands had put in a lot of effort and money into making the slat warm and dry, voices still carried. Most nights you could hear conversations from the bottom floor all the way in Kaz's attic, it was how you knew whenever Jesper got back. He was loud enough to be heard all over the slat.

You started your climb up the stairs, watching your rain-soaked boots take each step with certainty. Although you climbed these stairs multiple times a day, you still felt as if you might trip down them. They were narrow and steep, a recipe for disaster when the rain made your shoes slippery.

Three floors up, you stopped in your room. It was hardly a room and more of a closet, fitting your cot and dresser and not much else. You truly didn't mind, you were right next door to Inej and you only ever came to your room to sleep or change.

You kicked off your boots and stripped off your socks, replacing them quickly with a dry pair to keep your feet warm. You shrugged off your jacket and hung it on the door handle , with any luck it would dry before you would need it again tomorrow. You slipped out of the room and headed back to the stairs to Kaz's room.

Your feet made no sound as you climbed the steps, the silence of your movements allowing you to listen for Kaz in his room. Most of the time you would hear him shuffling through papers, but tonight there was little noise coming from behind the door. As you reached up to knock you prayed he wasn't sleeping.

"Yes?"

You cracked open the door, surprised to find Kaz wasn't sitting at his desk but standing in front of the small mirror in the corner of the room. He had scissors in his good hand, the other shakingly brushing back his hair from his face.

You had noticed how Kaz's hair had gotten much longer lately. The dark strands often blocking his eyes. You knew it drove him crazy, he hated having his hair in his eyes, but he had been too busy to fix it for now.

Kaz shared how he cut his own hair not long ago, you remembered the conversation vividly. He had caught his reflection in the mirror as he washed his hands in the small basin, asking you if you liked his hair.

You had been surprised, Kaz never cared for what others thought of his appearance. You told him the truth, that you loved his hair. Loved how he took time to cut it and try to style it, to you it showed his quiet care. When you asked why he was suddenly concerned, he mentioned how Nina had teased him about it once. It had been a harmless comment, but to him brought back the fact that he feared others touch so much he couldn't bare to let someone else cut it. So it looked rough, uneven in some parts and sometimes much shorter than he intended. You offered to help him when he was ready, but he had yet to take you up on the offer.

"Kaz," You sighed, taking a tentative step forward as if not to startle him. "You should be resting."

Kaz just frowned at his reflection.

His hands were shaking, you noticed. His right hand with the scissors shook so subtly that you might have missed It if you weren't looking. His other hand gripped tight to the side of the basin, as he fought the pain that throbbed down his bicep.

"I can't stand it anymore," Kaz growled, glaring at the hair that kept flopping in his face.

You chuckled, watching the man glower at his reflection with all his barrel brutality.

Crossing the room towards him, you held out your hand, "Let me help."

Kaz stared at your hand like it was foreign. You waited patiently as he had an internal battle. You felt a pang of sympathy when you watched a look of longing pass over Kaz's face. He wanted to let you help, he wanted nothing more than to feel your hands running through his hair with the tender care you always held. But the waters were always there, right below him. If he let you help, they might just swallow him whole.

Finally, Kaz resigned the scissors to you with a sigh.

You smiled at him, "We'll take it slowly." You promised, "If it gets too much, tell me and we’ll stop."

Kaz nodded.

He watched you in the mirror as you stood behind him, assessing what he had already done and what you would do. You knew he liked it a certain way, you spent enough time staring at him to memorize how it always looked. You made eye contact with Kaz in the mirror.

"Ready?"

Kaz nodded, taking in a deep breath.

You ran your hand through his hair, combing it back off his face with your fingers. You could almost feel how Kaz relaxed, his tense shoulders falling just a little. You took it as a good sign, continuing to gently pull his hair away from his face and start cutting.

It was slow going, you paused every few minutes to remind Kaz to breathe and release the tension in his muscles. You had no intention of making him suffer through his flashbacks alone. So you muttered reassuring words, offering to take a longer break or to step back for a moment as he processed. Kaz would shake his head, refusing to let you move away in case he would never feel you close again.

Your body was so warm he could feel it through the shirt on his back. You were always comforting and warm like a fire on a cold day. Kaz sometimes felt himself leaning into the feeling, leaning into you. Getting close to someone after so many years of pushing everyone away was terrifying for him. But he was determined to work through it, to be worthy of the gentleness and care you bestowed on him.

When you were done, you ran your fingers through his hair one last time. Your fingertips brushed against the skin on the back of his neck. Typically, the feeling would repulse him, send him spiralling into the frigid waves, but now he felt warmth grow from where you touched. He let out a sigh, revelling in the peace that he felt at that moment. It had been so long since skin-on-skin contact had made him feel something other than repulsion, he had almost forgotten what it was like.

You stepped back, placing the scissors on the desk and giving him space. You were buzzing with emotions and you feared they might just burst out of you if you stayed too close.

The room was silent, the only sound coming from you and Kaz's quiet breaths. You could feel your heart beating erratically, it pulsated through your body as you tried to steady it. Kaz was staring at your handiwork in the mirror, his hands running through it and feeling how it reacted. After a few tense moments, he turned to you, the smallest of smiles on his lips.

Kaz's smiles were hard to earn. Often, it felt like his only facial expression was the stern frown he always wore. But every now and again, in the safety of these four walls, his eyes would relax and his lips pull upwards.

The first time Kaz had smiled at you, you had felt drunk. You could live in that moment for a million years and never grow sick of it. His smile was so gentle, it warmed you from the inside out. You searched for that feeling everywhere, but it only ever came when Kaz smiled.

You felt hopelessly lovesick now, staring into the eyes of the bastard of the barrel. He was so different within these walls, still sarcastic and ill-tempered at times, but also gentle and caring. When he allowed himself the chance to feel safe, you could see the little boy from Lij who loved magic and games.

"Thank you."

You could only just hear the words over the roar of your heartbeat, offering Kaz a tight-lipped smile and a wave of your hand.

"It's no problem."

You both stayed silent for a little longer, looking everywhere but at each other. You were brimming with butterflies, the same giddy feeling you got when you had your first crush.

Kaz stood from his perch, slowly limping over to you. You waited as he did so, worried a move might break the spell that overcame you both. You fiddled with your fingers, trying to calm the thoughts racing through your mind.

Kaz reached out a gloved hand, holding your hand to stop your anxious habit. You had held his hand before, mostly when he wore his gloves so that he wouldn't get too overwhelmed, but it always made you feel safe. The most dangerous man in all of Ketterdam was not dirtyhands here, he was Kaz, gentle and loving.

You watched silently as Kaz pulled his hand away and slipped his gloves off. You knew that he preferred to take things slowly, he needed to take things slowly. You were in no rush, you had all the time in the world for the man before you.

Kaz's hands were still shaky, trembling ever so slightly as he reached for you again. He slowly raised his good hand to your face, hesitating before making contact. His eyes held a question, asking kindly for your permission. You accepted with a small nod, unable to help the tiny smile on your lips. Kaz's hand was colder than you were expecting as he cupped your cheek, you were sure he would be able to feel how hot you were. His slender fingers sat against your jawline, his thumb feathering across your cheekbone, like he was exploring your face. You subconsciously leaned into his hand, closing your eyes and letting a sigh slip from your lips. You could live here forever, in this safety and warmth, tucked away from the prying eyes of Ketterdam.

Kaz took a shaky breath in and you pulled away, startled that you might have pushed him too far. He only smiled, taking a small step forward and keeping his hand on your cheek. You could feel his breath on your skin now, the ghosting of his fingers. It almost felt like a dream. Kaz leaned in a little closer, your foreheads almost touching. His eyes flickered from your lips to your eyes and back.

Kaz wanted nothing more than to close the gap between you and press his lips to yours. You were so warm, your face tucked into his hand like it was made to be held by him. Your breath tickled his skin, it reminded him how you were here, alive. Saints, if he could just lean forward and-

All at once the water was snatching him under. The feeling of your skin turning cold and deathly. He lurched back, holding in his gags of disgust as the freezing waters overtook him.

"Kaz?"

He fell backwards, scrambling to put space between you both as he choked on the waters.

You could only watch as Kaz scrambled away from you, unable to do anything to stop him. He pulled himself as far away from you as he could, becoming a mess of shaking and shuddering breaths. He was panicking, the anxiety and fear clearly written across his features. It hurt, you wanted to help him but you feared you might only make it worse.

You knew you wouldn't be able to leave him in such a state, hyperventilating on the floor of his room. So you slowly lowered yourself to the ground, a good meter away from him to not suffocate him.

"I'm here, Kaz," You said softly, watching over him, "You're safe."

He took another few shuddering breaths, but they were slower than the last. You took it as a sign to keep going.

"Take it slow," You spoke just above a whisper, "I'm not going anywhere."

You stayed a safe distance away as Kaz calmed down, watching over him and offering quiet reassurances as he slowly came to himself. When the panic was gone from his eyes, it was replaced with guilt. You knew how hard it was for Kaz to touch skin, you didn't know exactly why, but you didn't mind taking things slow for him.

You cut Kaz before he could say he was sorry, "It's okay."

Kaz reached for his gloves and shoved them on, "It's not."

You shuffled a little closer, "Kaz." The boy looked up at you with his dark eyes, "Truly, it's alright. I will wait for you. If it takes days, weeks or years, I will be here."

Kaz's eyes were glossy, you had never seen him cry but perhaps this was the closest he ever got.

"You, Kaz Brekker, are worth waiting for."

Kaz looked down, "Rietveld."

It caught you entirely off guard, "What?"

Kaz slowly lifted his eyes to yours, "My real name is Kaz Rietveld."

Your face burst into a bright grin, "Well, Kaz Rietveld, it's nice to meet you."

[undiscovered-horizon]

"Four Crow Investigation II: Lovebirds' Outfox" - Kaz Brekker x Reader

[Four Crow Investigation]

☽ REQUESTS ARE OPEN ☾

Enjoying my work? You can leave me a tip on Ko-Fi

SUMMARY: Nina and the rest of "crow-vestigators" are not as inconspicuous as they think. Being a little too spiteful for your own good, Kaz and you string them along. What the amateur detectives consider "evidence" of an affair is actually a well-thought-out scenario.

WORDCOUNT: ~ 2.1k

>>Grishaverse-inspired playlist&lt;<

You stare with amusement as Wylan, Jesper, Inej and Nina are sitting around the table in a hardly inconspicuous manner. They’re leaning so close to each other, their bodies are covering their faces but you don’t need to read their lips or expressions to know exactly what they’re talking about. Meaningful glances, small nudges, animated whispering - none of that escaped your attention.

Then, you feel Kaz squeezing your hand in an attempt to shift your focus from the gossiping friends back to him. His eyebrows are slightly raised in a silent question.

"Do you think they know that we know that they know?" you ask, cringing at the word salad filled with repetitions.

"No," Kaz answers without hesitation. "Considering how long it took them to notice something so obvious, their observation skills are more underwhelming than I had originally thought."

The two of you glance towards your friends once more, left to only guess what tall tales they were making up. Observation skills, Kaz’s voice resounds in your head. Yes, they are good at noticing things they are desperately looking for, so, maybe, if they are looking for crumbs…

"Actually, I have an idea,” you begin in a hushed tone.  Kaz turns to look at you, his expression hardens the moment he notices your mischievous grin. “Up for a bit of roleplay?"

It’s been a wild week for the four Crows. They sat down at a corner table, across the club from you and Kaz talking about something by the bar counter. Absorbed by the conversation, you’re pouring a drink in a record-long time. Your hand hovers above the rum bottle as you’re closely listening to Kaz saying something. Then, to the surprise of the gossip club, you erupt in laughter.

Jesper frowns. “I’m telling you, there’s two of them. She gets the nice Kaz, we get the mean one.”

“No, the mean Kaz is still inside,” Inej refutes. “The nice one is making an effort to bury him but he’s definitely in there. Saw it myself.”

He turns back towards the group. Jesper puts his finger up in a warning gesture and speaks slowly: “Do not tell me Kaz Brekker is a knight in shining armour because there is no way I’m treating that as anything but a bad joke. I’m barely believing the stuff I’ve seen with my own two eyes.”

“N-no, there is some truth to that,” Wylan interjects. “I didn’t see him get angry,” he quickly adds, ”just… strangely protective.”

“So we can agree,” Nina says with expected giddiness, “there is passion in the perpetually grim Kaz Brekker.”

Jesper squints his eyes with suspicion. “I hate the fact that you used passion and Kaz in the same sentence but at the same time I’m curious why.”

“Oh, you’re going to love it!” She taps the table excitedly. “I’ll go first.”

╚ Nina’s Evidence ╝

You’re pacing around the office, jumping from one leg to another, shaking and fidgeting as much as you can without making much noise. While preparing to fool the Heartrender’s power, you’re ensuring that you look the part:

“Is this obscene enough?” you ask unbuttoning your shirt further. Tugging at your clothing, you’re making yourself look even more disheveled. Even the smallest sound outside the office door makes you jump as you’re impatiently waiting for a certain creek of one of the steps.

Kaz doesn’t answer. His watchful eyes are following your movements as he’s focusing on keeping his attention on the task at hand. That bright mind of his, however, fights relentlessly to memorize your unkempt look instead.

Not hearing him respond to your question, you turn around to look at Kaz. Leaning against the desk, he’s just staring at you with a quite inexplicable intensity. His unspoken passion is only making the voice in the back of your head louder: what if it was Him undoing my shirt?

But you stifle this thought. It’s not the time for this. Searching for distraction, you look at Kaz’s collar - the first two buttons are undone but they make him appear more sleepy rather than caught red handed at a moment of weakness.

“May I?” you ask, gesturing towards his garment.

“Go ahead,” he quietly answers. There’s a lot of trust in his lack of movement and calmness about your closeness.

Carefully, you grab the hem of his collar and open his shirt further, while making sure your fingers do not even graze the bare skin underneath, despite the urge sitting deep inside your abdomen. Then, you take a step back, examining his general state and whether it sets a believable scene. A proud smile creeps onto your face.

“You’re really enjoying this,” Kaz states.

“Actually,” you say as you lean against the table, fairly unaware that because of your disheveled clothing your cleavage is significantly more visible, “I’d be enjoying this little scheme a lot more if we were in fact being scandalous.”

Whether that was your objective or not, Kaz’s heartbeat picks up noticeably, his rogue mind flashing explicit images before his eyes.

A creek of stairs.

You and Kaz give each other a meaningful glance and you push the paperweight off the desk, knowing that Nina can hear it. The door swings open and you’re immediately in character, looking away with the most embarrassed expression you could muster.

Kaz clears his throat. “Is there a reason why you’re barging in?”

Nina looks a bit lost, still piecing together what she might have just interrupted. “I… uhm… I talked with Lizzie Hardy. She’s in, we can count on her.”

“Understood,” he says in a low, firm voice. “Now go. And learn to knock.”

A half-grin enters her face as she gets rid of any doubts as to what the two of you had been presumably occupied with before she entered. With a skip to her step, Nina throws a “You bet I will!” before leaving the office. She’s quite sure no one will have a better gossip than her.

╚ Wylan’s Evidence ╝

Wylan is startled by your yelp of pain, almost dropping the delicate vial in his hands. His focus immediately shifts to you, who is now frowning with your hand raised slightly above your head. A string of curses leaves your mouth as you check the wound again - yes, still there and still bleeding.

Right, bleeding.

“Are you okay?” he asks in a worried tone. Part of you feels guilty for fooling Wylan because of the sheepiness he wears most of the time but, on the other hand, he is part of the gossip girl club. This little scheme is just a consequence of his choice.

“Yeah, no problem. I’m a big girl, I’ll just wrap this and I’ll be fine,” you answer casually.

Pretending to look for something that can work as a bandage, you’re praying that Wylan can’t smell the cranberry preserve slowly dripping down your forearm. There’s an urge deep inside you to lick the jam, almost tasting the sweet and sour fruit in your imagination.

Kaz, who was waiting for the well-played-out yelp, rushes into the room with a grim expression. The moment he’s supposed to notice your injury, he makes a show of dropping his shoulders. He’s not saying anything, only giving short sighs and annoyed grunts as he reaches for a random rag laying around. 

“I’d advise against cutting off your fingers,” he says loud enough for Wylan to hear as he’s tightening the wrapped rag around your palm. "You need to be more ca-" Kaz cuts himself off, suddenly realizing he was about to use an off-limits word. "You need to pay attention to what you're doing."

Looking over Kaz’s shoulder, you see Wylan nervously glancing at the two of you out of the corner of his eyes. Jesper is going to hear world-shattering news in the next hour - on that you can safely bet any number of limbs.

╚ Jesper’s Evidence ╝

Too busy retelling what he had learned while following Lizzie Hardy, Jesper doesn’t notice the tiny signal you give Kaz while the three of you are walking through the streets of Ketterdam.

Air, cobblestone, a lost dog - it doesn’t matter. You stumble over something but ever watchful Kaz manages to grab you by the waist, preventing you from falling. To be honest, until this moment you weren’t completely sure this is going to work out because you never practiced this with Kaz. Well, you did, once, but the two of you got significantly distracted early on. So the plan to outfox Nosy Jesper was a leap of faith - literally and figuratively.

Jesper, the man in question, halted his story as he’s watching the unbelievable occurrence of Kaz having a caring reflex. For a moment he considers whether this wasn’t some kind of miraculous coincidence but on the other hand, the movement looked so natural and purposeful that it simply had to be deliberate.

Standing on your own, you look towards Jesper, who’s still staring at you and Kaz with furrowed eyebrows and his mouth slightly agape. “You were saying?” you coax him to continue as though nothing happened.

“Yes, right, the thing,” he stutters out as he’s trying to remember what he was talking about before seeing something so strange he’s questioning his own sanity.

╚ Inej’s Evidence ╝

Due to the late hour, or rather an hour so late it can be considered early, the club is deserted except for you and Kaz sitting by the bar. He’s silently watching your profile as you’re applying another layer of theatrical paint and makeup.

“Does it look realistic?” you ask for the hundredth time while examining the bruise in a small hand-held mirror.

“It’s good enough.”

You set down the mirror and look at him. To a degree, you know he won’t agree to your proposition but you try anyway, just to make sure:

“Maybe you could hit me?” you suggest. His expression grows colder. “Just for good measure. To really sell this,” you add in your own defense, as though there is a possibility of him retaliating for such a ridiculous proposition. Even when furious beyond imagination, you’ve heard him yell exactly once out of anger.

He leans closer towards you. Paradoxically, it’s you who is uncomfortable with the sudden intimacy but maybe the uneasiness is not due to the proximity but the chilling tension that has sprouted between the two of you. Kaz studies your expression for a moment, his jaw relaxes and clenches over and over again as he’s clearly pondering the earthiest way he can put his thoughts into words.

“I will never raise my hand against you,” his voice is quiet and wavering with emotions, “even if my life depends on it. So don’t ask again. Ever.”

Suddenly, you feel strangely small next to him as though Kaz is but a shadow that quickly grows larger as candlelight dims. “Right, sorry,” you answer awkwardly.

The door to the club opens with a creek and the nervous conversation has to be cut short. You cover your face with hands, having rubbed some chili seeds into your palms earlier. As the capsaicin reaches your nostrils and eyes, forcing yourself to cry is easier than ever. Pretending to be agonizing over something, you keep reminding yourself not to actually touch your eyes or nose.

You can’t see her face but you’re sure Inej is wearing a worried or confused expression and you’re quite correct in your guess - she walks towards you and Kaz with apprehension as though she’s still wondering whether she wants to intrude. Inej momentarily grows anxious, noticing the vibrant bruise on the side of your face.

Then, in a truly dramatic fashion, Kaz gets up from the bar stool and storms out of the club as you had agreed beforehand. While he’s passing Inej, she calls out to him:

“Kaz-”

But he’s quick to cut her off in a harsh voice:

“Not now, Inej.”

The door closes behind him with a slam and considering the state of the two of you, she prefers not to ask questions. It will be easier to sleep at night.

“They’re staring,” you inform Kaz while pouring him a drink.

“As far as I know, they have a reason to,” he answers, taking a sip of the beverage. His eyes are boring into you like his trying to look past your skin and bones, into your mind if not your very soul.

A wide smile brightens your face. You lean on the counter, face close to Kaz’s. Although it’s been some time, it still makes your heart flutter that he doesn’t move away. Perhaps it’s just his unreadable expression or maybe he really is unbothered by the proximity.

“To be honest, I enjoyed our little theatrics.” Smiling at him, your teeth glisten in the dim light inside the club.

“You make an impressive con artist, I have to admit.”

“Ah, forget the con part,” you wave your hand in dismissal. “It was entertaining, alright, but the best part was just spending time with you.”

Kaz almost chokes on his drink.

____ @moonstruckpoet @shara-ne @queenkalico

[swanimagines]

MASKS | KAZ BREKKER

Summary: You are incredibly beautiful but you have always been insecure of your own face, so you wear a mask. But in the middle of doing a heist, the mask breaks.

Ever since childhood, you hadn't liked what you saw in the mirror. Your nose was too big. Or too small. Your lips were too thin. Or then they looked like a bee had just stung them. Your eye color was bland. You just bashed yourself in front of the mirror every morning as you had brushed your teeth, and other kids at your neighborhood didn't really help with that - kids could be cruel if they were given a reason for it.

So, that day you moved into Ketterdam, you made yourself a mask before anyone got to know you. A beautiful white mask made of porcelain, with cat ears and a red stripe going over your eye. It fit perfectly around your face, hiding any imperfections behind its perfect curves.

You joined the Dregs, a gang ran by a young man who was barely 18. Kaz Brekker wasn't interested about your mask, he only wanted to know how you could fight and you were in. It didn't take long after that before you joined the heists with him and the other five people who called themselves "Crows". You quickly had made friends with them, spending evenings with them and finally feeling like you had a family again.

Kaz ended up growing something more than just your boss. It took a while, but he let his walls down with you, took a faint hold of your hand when you were worried about your wounded friend and even tried to comfort you, although he wasn't a master in it. In turn, you had showed him your face, let yourself be vulnerable too. He had looked at you with so much love you thought it's uncharacteristic of him, but at the same time you felt how your cheeks grew hot as you felt cared about for the first time in years.

Jesper had seen your face too, but it was by accident. He had barged in to Kaz's room because Wylan was missing and he was scared out of his mind and walked straight to the bedroom, just in time to see you sit up and your eyes met his. He froze for a moment before you ducked your head and took your mask, and Jesper knew better than to question it. He told you that Wylan is missing and you sprang into action immediately, dressing up and hurrying out of the office.

Turned out Wylan had been fetching Jesper a cake because the sharpshooter's birthday was the next day. Thank the Saints you found him first, so the surprise wouldn't be ruined.

A few months from that, and you were on another heist. Another merchant in the city, who has bragged about his fortunes a little too enthusiastically. In Ketterdam, you had to remember that someone was always listening, and this time that someone was Inej. A week from that, and you were at the manor of that merchant.

Kaz had ordered you and Jesper to keep watch at the hallway as he worked on the hidden safe around the corner - the merchant was smarter than he looked, he had put a safe inside a safe, and hid that behind a large and incredibly heavy bookcase. The blueprints were done wrong as a distraction, and Kaz had cursed himself over not realising it. So it had taken a while to actually get on the safe.

Footsteps were heard from the right, and Jesper's hand immediately went to his other gun. A few guards bickered about something, and Kaz halted his movements upon hearing that too. Jesper met his eyes, and he nodded towards the guards. Jesper started making his way towards them and you glanced at Kaz who started working on the safe again.

You hadn't known what was happening before you already felt a blade on your throat.

"Don't move, bitch," said a voice behind you. His breath had a bitter scent of garlic and you scrunched your nose at it.

The man with the knife pressed hard enough to cut your skin but didn't draw blood yet. A thought of him killing you and going after Kaz next crossed your mind, an d that thought made your heart start racing faster and adrenaline kicking in.

You knew it was stupid. Irresponsible. You should wait for Kaz to deal with it, he by no doubt was already thinking what to do to save you. But you weren't a lady in distress, you refused to be.

So you stomped on his foot with all your might and when he grunted, you elbowed his jaw. The knife made a scratch on your face and you heard something shattering - probably a vase on the drawer next to you. You started giving punches to the brute until he laid on the ground unconscious, and then turned back around to see all your friends gathered there to see what's the noise about. You let out a breath of relief upon seeing they were all alright and walked up to them as you tried to catch your breath. You didn't pay attention to it at first, but then you noticed that they were staring at you.

"What?" you asked, frowning.

"Darling, your mask..." Kaz mumbled, looking over at the shattered piece of art you had been wearing for the past half a decade.

Your heart stopped for a moment.

"Oh," you whispered and suddenly felt self-conscious as you turned away from your friends. Your cheeks burned like hellfire, even though nobody was saying anything about how you looked ugly underneath this disguise. Though, they had probably stared because they didn't recognize you at first, not because of how you looked. But it still felt like the latter option, and the echoes of what the kids in your neighborhood had been saying to you when you were growing up.

"Okay, we got what we came here for, escaping through the third back door." Kaz interrupted the moment and everyone started moving out, leaving Kaz and you standing there to come as last ones.

You walked in silence side by side with Kaz, looking behind the shattered mask - its shards glinting in the moonlight as if to wave its goodbye to you. You felt like a part of you had just been ripped away, and you couldn't help but feel tears in your eyes. The whole thing happened so fast, that none of it registered until that point. Then it was too late.

You could feel the slight night breeze caressing through your face once you were outside in front of the carriage, something you hadn't experienced in years. It felt so foreign now - but somehow also comforting.

You stood there for a moment before Nina spoke.

"Hey, we don't care how you look. We still love you the same."

You closed your eyes against the sudden wetness on your cheek and nodded, sniffling. "I know."

"Hey," Jesper said. He walked up next to you and handed you a handkerchief from his pocket.

"Thanks," you sniffed and wiped at your tears.

Jesper cleared his throat. "It's weird to see you without that mask. You're not ugly, you know. Not really."

You looked down at the cloth in your hands and gave a watery laugh.

"Don't be ridiculous. I've always been ugly."

"No, you aren't. This is what beauty feels like. This is what real beauty would be like."

"Oh," you said softly, biting back more tears.

He glanced at Kaz who was looking at you with something looking like concern. "Kaz is lucky to have you, you know."

You couldn't help but smile a little at that, and everyone started to board the carriage, Jesper being the driver and standing beside the door.

Jesper smirked as he helped you board the carriage, "I know what we just said but just a suggestion, love; you should consider being a model, we could pull out pretty neat heists if you went on a modeling show with rich pigs and turned over their pockets."

You couldn't help but smile at the suggestion - maybe you could finally get rid of the feeling of insecurity you had felt since you were a child.

---

Requests are always open! FANDOM LIST | PROMPT LIST(S) | RULES (READ!!!)

[crvptidgf]

Whipped

Kaz Brekker x Reader

➸ summary: just as you start to think that Kaz is incapable of basic human decency, he proves you wrong (in his own, Kaz-like way)

➸ warnings/notes: none

word count: 1.2k

————————

ONE THING YOU quickly learned about Kaz was that he never showed outward emotion. In fact, sometimes you weren’t too sure he even felt any at all. That was what everybody said - Kaz was robotic in the way he interacted with people, hardly sparing a thought on the well-being or opinions of others.

While it wasn’t far off the truth, you knew there had to be more to him than a void machine with no care for anybody but himself. He was still, after all, human (despite what anybody else might say).

It wasn’t without reason that he gained his infamous aliases. Bastard of the Barrel, Dirtyhands, Demjin. That’s why it surprised you when you started getting nervous around him. Not the kind of nervous that most people felt with Kaz, but more like a stupid, naïve school-girl kind of nervous. Why? You could probably name a million reasons.

Putting aside all that he has done and all that he is, Kaz was genuine. Perhaps not like how Jesper and Inej were - and sure, he didn’t have the softness that Nina held, or the undying open affection that Matthias bared for his lover, or even the sweet, lovable awkwardness that Wylan had. He was, however, intriguing in his own way.

He was brutally loyal to those he deemed worthy; his mind worked unlike anyone else you had met; and he never, ever, took shit from anyone - no matter if it was a stranger off the street or one of his Crows. Not to mention that he always seemed to be 2 steps ahead of his foes, which was something you admired greatly. These special qualities made him who he is and you couldn’t help but fall for his cold and calculating personality.

There was always a wall separating him from being honest with people, his lack of trust and need to be in control too strong to ever let up. Yet bit by bit (or brick by brick) his shell started to gather cracks and crevices in the shape of you.

You had somehow wormed your way into his icy heart. Of course he would never dare admit it to himself, much less say it out loud, but deep down he knew. And he hated it.

He hated that he remembered your favorite color. He hated that he knew exactly how you liked your tea in the mornings. Most of all, he absolutely loathed the fact that you, out of anybody he has ever encountered, managed to become his biggest weakness.

Kaz always prided himself on his nonchalant façade. Nobody could ever read what was going on inside his mind and he worked hard to keep it that way. Until you came along. Until you wrung and twisted his insides until he couldn’t take it anymore - the thoughts of you so polluted in his mind that he couldn’t help but chastise his childish behavior.

He wasn’t a boy anymore. He didn’t have crushes (although what he felt for you was a little more than a measly crush).

All of this to say that, when he saw the small smile that tugged on the corner of your lips whenever he did something thoughtful for you, he actually found that he didn’t mind being reduced to a mindless, clueless idiot around you. He actually realized that he liked making you happy. This epiphany scared him. But if tossing and turning at night, his mind completely overtaken by you, meant that he could see your grin light up the room just one more time, he could live with it.

You, on the other hand, had no idea of his inner turmoil. Yeah you knew he was a bit gentler when you were around (not by much, you noted), but that could be for a multitude of reasons. Surely Kaz Brekker, the notorious Dirtyhands, didn’t take a fancy to you of all people. Right?

These thoughts were however thrown from your mind when you awoke to your floorboards creaking, the sound alerting your fight or flight response. Constantly being in imminent danger does that to a person. You can never be too sure when death would knock on your door.

Yet when you slowly reached your hand under your pillow for your dagger (a gift that Inej had graced you with on your first birthday at the Crow Club), a voice stopped you from your worries.

“It’s just me. No need for any violence so early in the morning.”

Turning in your small but cozy bed, you were met with a somewhat startled looking Kaz. He wasn’t expecting you to wake up - he should’ve forseen this. Saints, he was losing his game. He always did when it came to you.

“Oh,” you replied simply. “Did you need something?”

Kaz’s lips formed into a line, something in his hand shuffling as he mulled over his thoughts. He should leave, he thought. But he didn’t. Instead he stood at the foot of your bed like a total creep, his eyes traveling over your face so quickly that you almost missed it.

“Breakfast,” he said, throwing the bag that he previously toyed with in his hand.

It landed with a soft thud on your bed, the brown paper almost unfolding as it reached your knee. Picking it up slowly, you looked towards Kaz for any indication of what it was. Nothing could’ve prepared you for what was inside.

It was a sugar-roll. Something you had been craving for months, but could never seem to get your hands on. There was only one bakery in the Barrel that sold these, and it was on the complete other side of the city.

“How did you- Where-“ you stumbled over your words, utterly struck by surprise.

Kaz spun his cane in his hand, the crow's head glinting in the sunlight that peeked from your window.

You never thought you would see the day, but he hesitated before answering.

“Had some business to attend to. I just happened to walk by that bakery that you’re always harping on about.”

So he did listen to your meaningless rants. Nina had mentioned the bakery a while back, and you and her bonded over your shared enjoyment of the confectioneries that they sold. You didn’t think Kaz actually heard it, much less remembered what your favorite pastry was.

“Thank you,” you breathed out.

Kaz nodded, retreating backwards as he responded. “Hopefully now you’ll stop bugging me about that stupid roll of yours,” he said.

While his words were harsh, you could see the glint in his eyes as he spotted your excited expression, your hands pulling the doughy goodness out of its bag. In his own backwards way, Kaz was as whipped as somebody like him could get.

As he limped out of your room, the comfort of your presence leaving him, he spotted Jesper outside the door, smirking.

“What,” Kaz snapped.

“You just happened to walk by?”

Kaz rolled his eyes, sighing. He continued to walk, ignoring Jesper’s attempts to annoy the man.

“That bakery is at least 30 minutes away,” he stifled a laugh, “you need to think up better lies, boss.”

“Tell anyone and you’ll never see your guns again,” Kaz said, knowing there was no point in lying any more. He cast a backwards glance at his friend, who immediately put his hands up in defense.

Jesper smiled to himself as he was finally left alone upstairs. He was going to have so much fun taunting that over Kaz's head in the next few weeks.

The Bastard of the Barrel - whipped.

[lady-ashfade]

Inside job

Kaz Brekker x Fem!reader x Inej Ghafa

This is a drabble? I think, but it’s really freaking short. And there is hint of romance but nothing actually said, but it’s hinted.

Warnings: Shit writing.

There was only one option, and they knew.

“We can’t get in without some sort of key, or something. Even I know it’s useless to even try to break in without a opening.” Jesper spoke leaning against the table behind him, wylan beside him fiddling with his own shirt buttons.

Kaz knew this job was going to need somone from the inside, The Honeyedpass was not easy to get into. No, he knew the place was well guarded. But still, there was always someway in and luckily he knew exactly what to do.

“That’s why we need someone from the inside, no one gets in or out without someone knowing.” Kaz spoke as the others looked at him puzzled, all excited one. “And who would that be?” Jesper ask with a hint of excitement in his tone.

Inej watched as his gaze feel on her, she knew exactly who he was talking about. A job only she would do because she was no better then the rest of them. But still, this would put her in more danger if anyone were to find out.

“No.” Inej leaned on the table making everyone’s attention snap to her. “There is no one else.” His tone low and stern. “She would be killed without a thought if anyone found out.” The girl stepped closer and glares at him.

“She can handle herself, and we need her to complete this.” They stare into each others eyes to fight for who was right. It was a fight without words or fists, but the others could admit they would be scared if they received the looks.

“I’m sorry but who is “she”?” Jesper interrupted them both to ask the important question. 

The smell of the sea water mixed with dead fish and guts. That was the telling of the docks. The smell she found comforting, when she was off duty she wanted to feel like someone normal. So she helps the fisherman unload the boats, or guts the fish, sell them- Anything really. But she was respected. Her first day she put a man in his place for thinking he could touch her. There were more incidence after but now the people there respected her.

A woman never afraid to spill blood.

The woman grunted as she slammed the heavy box into the rest and took a minute to catch her breath. Then the boards beneath her vibrated with footsteps, the sound of a cane, then the last sign is reflections on the water from the corner of her eye. Her lips curled up into a smirk because there was only one group this could be.

“What a pleasant surprise,” she turned around to faces them, “all the crows coming to see me? Oh, how special I am.” Her voice teasing and fake. She looked at the tall man she knew, his face the same as when she last saw, hardened. “What do I  owe the pleasure?”

“I’ve got a job for you.” She let out a huffed chuckle and crossed her arms. Her gaze leaving him and then finding the beautiful soft ones she remembered, oh how tempting they were. “Wouldn’t be here if you didn’t.” She looked around at each member standing before her.

“We need a way into The Honeyedpass, and there’s only one way in. Despite your little acted of playing fisherman, you work with the wealthy. Get us in, then secure a way out and your actions will be paid for.” Everyone could see the look he was giving her, the one she was giving back.

There was something more.

The way his even hardened expression was softer, his eyes showing a hint of emotion, or the way his lips moved up with a smirk each time he spoke. Then there was inej, her eyes soft and pleading for you. It was clear she cared for you, so much that she didn’t want you to take the job. Her expression could be called “A kicked puppy” look if Jesper had his say.

“What’s the pay?” You stepped closer to the group with a mischievous glint in your eyes and a tone honeyed. Kaz looked at you and titled his head because he knew how you were. No matter the job, no matter who it’s for, friend or strangers, you never did anything for free. And he loved that about you.

“Name your price.”

[green-typewriterz]

Please.

Kaz Brekker x gn!reader

Summary: Kaz struggles with affection and touch, but he has to do something to stop you from going on a heist that could possibly kill you. 

ASK: N/A

Warnings: Kaz being Kaz, maybe slightly ooc Kaz as its my first time writing, injury, talks of death, slight ptsd

word count: 1171

Kaz sat in his office with the door closed, not a single sound escaping from under the crack. It was something you and the Crows were used to but it didn’t stop you from wondering if he was ok. While you and Jesper worked the bar - chatting happily with the pigeons that you liked to call your regulars, Wylan and Nina sat in the corner of the room, drawing out plans, Matthias had just gone outside to follow after someone who hadn’t paid and Inej was probably somewhere near - you just couldn’t see her.

The next heist was days away and both yours and Inej’s talents with staying quiet would come in handy. Though you weren’t a master spy like your Suli friend, nor could you fight in the same acrobatic way as she, you were nimble and silent, an intimidating quiet in a room full of leaders. That and you were amazing with knives. However, there was one flaw in every plan the group came up with, one that could prove to be life or death for you and Inej. The guards were never off duty and they always had guns. You’d have to fight to get past them.

It eventually got to two in the morning and the Crow Club was finally closing, yet there hadn’t even been the sound of Kaz’s uneven footsteps creaking across the floor. You sat on the other side of the bar as Jesper cleaned glasses, annoyed look in his eyes.

Eventually he turned to you. “I could use some help, you know?” Jesper spoke in mock annoyance, but any joking emotions on his face dropped when he saw the worry in your eyes. “Look, y/n, if you’re that worried about him, then go up there. Bring him tea or something.” You met his eyes and sighed, nodded slowly as you headed to the kitchens to make him a drink and some sort of food.

You headed up to his office with a hot cup of tea and a few pastries you had found in the pantry. You gently pushed open the door and the slithers of light from the hallway seeped into the room. Kaz sat at his desk, face lit only by a singular lamp that cast sickly shadows on his sharpened features. He looked tired. He glanced up as you stepped further inside, a tired frown on his features.

“Y/n, I’m busy,” he muttered quietly, head falling gently over his eyes. His attention returned to the plans in front of him. You placed down the plate and mug on the table and smiled softly.

He looked at the plate in confusion as you spoke, “I brought you some food, and a drink.” He didn’t respond so you sat down in the chair opposite him. “You’ve been here for hours, Kaz. You need to take a break.”

He put a gloved hand against his temple and sighed, “There’s no time for breaks. Every detail needs to be perfect, this has to go smoothly for us.”

You nodded in understanding, this was a difficult thing for any person, let alone a group of teenagers. “I know, Kaz. we’re all working hard.” Kaz finally looked up at you for more than three seconds and his eyes narrowed into an unreadable expression.

“You and Inej are crucial to this plan, it wouldn’t be possible without you. But-” He cut himself off, breath catching in his throat. His next words were a whisper, “But I don’t want you to go.” Your brows furrowed in confusion, why was he changing his mind now, so soon before the heist?

You sat for a while, not knowing what to say, eventually, you assumed it was him not wanting to lose his two best ‘spies’ in one go. “Kaz, we’ve done this hundreds of times, Inej and I are fully prepared for whatever happens. You don’t have to worry.”

He stood up abruptly, his chair scraping across the floor, scratching over the previous marks in the wood. His eyes seemed to hold a fervour to them you had never seen before. “It’s more than just the heist, Y/N. This job is dangerous. I can’t afford to lose anyone. I can’t afford to lose…you.”

You blinked a few times in confusion, not understanding where his sincerity had come from. He breathed out slowly and, almost as if it were against his human nature to do so, gingerly stepped forward, his eyes glued to your hands. “You’re important to me, Y/N.” His gaze flitted up to meet yours and his brows furrowed in what looked like pain as he stepped closer still. “Promise me you’ll get out if things get too dangerous.”

A sigh escaped your lips and you shook your head, “I’m not a child, Kaz. I’ve gone through worse, multiple times. You can’t expect me to stop now because you suddenly gained the ability to feel empathy.” You whispered. You hadn’t meant it to sound harsh, but the words sliced through him and his gaze lowered. Turning to the door, you began to walk away, aiming to get a semblance of a good night's sleep before the manic day of final planning began tomorrow.

Despite this aim, you only got part way toward the door when you felt cool leather grip your wrist. You gasped at the sensation and turned to see Kaz holding you in place. He breathed out shakily and his eyes closed for a moment, almost as if he were trying to calm himself. You gave him time. “Please.”

It was one word, barely a whisper above the sounds of Ketterdam from Kaz’s open window, yet it felt like a stone wall he had spent years building with his own scarred hands had come crumbling down. Heavy rocks he had cemented together with avoidance and fear fell onto his feet, pushing themselves against his chest and Jordie’s pained body lay on the other side. He withered there for a moment, trying to calm himself. He could feel the warmth of your hands through his gloves - the sensation blurring the memories of the cold bodies beneath him. He breathed in once more, eyes still shut.

“Please.”

You found yourself unable to breathe, not knowing how to deal with his vulnerability, it wasn’t something the Crows were known for. “Kaz…” You trailed off, moving closer and readjusting to hold his hand in both of yours. You worked slowly, trying to keep the both of you as calm as possible. His hand shook under yours and you released slightly, the ghost of your hand still gently touching his. “I can’t leave Inej to go alone.”

He met your eyes and nodded. He knew it would be how you'd reply. You were too good to all the people around him, too good for him. Eventually, Kaz pulled his hand away, the feeling of another person that close to him becoming too much. “I’m sorry.” He whispered, “I shouldn’t have asked that of you.”

He let you leave.

[seasealwaters]

It's just rude how I have yet to see a Now You See Me! Six of Crows AU.

NO BUT WAIT, WAIT. Bear with me. The Crows as illusionists and magicians brought together to create elaborate performances that may or may not be a way to extract revenge on a few people (Jan, Heleen, and Pekka, we're looking at you) and steal a lot of money in the process. The group could be either formed by Kaz himself, or like in the movie, they're brought together by a mysterious individual for a job (in this, it could be Jan to commit the equivalent of the Ice Court Heist, until the Crows turn back on him).

Like. Imagine. Kaz would definitely be an amazing escape artist and the master mind of the operations. He would have the best sleight of hand ever. With his flair for dramatics, I think he would also be a great performer, and have a whole "character" for the show: you know, Dirtyhands, with his all black clothes, raspy voice, dry wit, slight smirk, scary monologues and taunts. He's not even pretending, really, but it works really well on stage, and the public loves it, loves when he's taunting them, and legit creeping them out.

Inej would be into the escape thing as well, and she would love the tricks where she vanishes and then apparates in a different corner of the room, or just behind someone in the audience (they wouldn't even notice until one the Crows points it out or Inej taps them on the shoulder. The number of times they almost had to call an ambulance because she legit gives them heart attacks). I feel like she would also be a contortionist who's able to fit in small boxes and cupboards, to the point where you start to ask yourself if she even has bones. She would incorporate acrobatics in her performances.

Jesper would love flashy tricks with cards, coins, and so on. I know that sleight of hand is more Kaz's thing in the book, but I feel like it would suit him well, too. Kind of like the Jack Wilder of the group. He would do tricks with guns, bullets and shooting, of course. Also, I feel like he would be the one the Crows rely on to distract the crowd, to catch, hold, and redirect their attention where it's needed. Kaz is good at that, too, but Jesper is really the one who can put them at ease and charm them (especially if it's a single person or a few they call on stage).

Wylan would handle technical aspects: light, flash bombs, smoke bombs, fireworks, visual and sound effects, music and sound, material, etc. I think he would know exactly what type of soundtrack and light to choose to create maximum effect and efficiently hold/distract the crowd's attention. I don't see him as a main performer, but I think there would be one memorable occasion where he would "blow himself up" or set fire to himself on stage and then reapparate, completely fine. It remains one of the Crows' most watched performances.

Nina would definitely be the Merritt McKinney of the group. She would be all about hypnosis and mentalism, and I know that real-life hypnotism doesn't work like it's portrayed in the movie, but let's just pretend. With her knowledge of anatomy and medicine (she could be an ex med student or nurse), she would know exactly how to use the human body, mind, and blood flow to her advantage – it would be a nice parallel to her canon powers. She knows how to gather information from her targets, is amazing at subtle interrogation, and she, too, would be very good at charming the crowd (her and Jesper as a the sexiest bi duo ever). Also, I think she would fight tooth and nail to incorporate a dramatic quick change sequence on stage. ("Nina, we don't need that." "Shut up, Kaz, you don't understand, I have been waiting my entire LIFE for this moment").

I admit, I have trouble deciding what Matthias would do in this universe. Like Wylan, I don't see him as a main performer, I think he would remain more in the shadows and act as an assistant to the others (catching Inej, helping Nina change, setting Wylan's material, etc.). If the Crows need animals for their show, he's definitely the one to take care of them. However, in the books, he is our guys' main source of information on the Ice Court, and I feel like in a modern au, he would parallel this: he would be the one tasked with research on the Mark, digging up everything about them, their background, family, habits, the lay outs of a place the Crows intend to rob, etc.

Or alternatively: Matthias is their inside man in the FBI. This would work even better, I think. So yes, he's the Dylan Rhodes of the AU, minus the revenge.

Feel free to add anything if you have other ideas!

[aphroditestummyrolls]

I couldn’t choose so have 2, 16 and 32

HELLO! Such interesting choices you have here 👀 it’s definitely a step back into a type of writing I haven’t done for wesper before. It was a lot of fun, and definitely a muscle I’ll be flexing more often in the future (not taking your niche, though, promise! 😂 Colm Fahey Enjoyer is still very much my niche, but this? This was fun!)

I meant to get this posted last night, but then decided I hated what I’d written and that I wanted to do an edit with fresh eyes. So I waited till this morning. I like it a lot more now, and hope you like it too ☺️

Enjoy these ~2k words of semi-public frotting! I even put it in the engagement series for you!

His breath unfurled into the icy air, frosty and silver in the moonlight.

In the parlour behind him, he could hear the muted din of the party— champagne bottles popped, fine crystal glasses clinked; the hearths were crackling and warm, almost too warm for Wylan’s wine-flushed cheeks; the room was dazzlingly arrayed with decorations, polished to a shine. And their guests! Each gown was more intricate than the last, each suit tailored and pressed like paper doll penguins.

All was well. But Wylan was quite certain he hadn’t taken a deep breath since dinner.

More like for a few weeks, he groused, since preparations began.

It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy it— Inej and her crew had come in for the festivities, even picking up Colm from Noyvi Zem on their way. The house was full, the nights were long and full of company, and Wylan was still pinching himself. How he’d gotten so lucky, he’d never understand. For most of his life, he couldn’t imagine having a party like this— an engagement party, no less— being thrown for him. To have such a family of people to celebrate this with them.

But, it… it was all so formal. There was so much to be done, and so much pious posturing that needed to be observed for The Church of Barter to marry them— they had to at least make a public show of following the courtship rules of an engaged geldstraat couple.

All that to say that, between the chaos of hosting his friends, and the ever-watchful eyes of the council, Wylan felt like he had scarcely seen Jes in weeks.

Even while sleeping in the same bed with him, Wylan caught himself missing Jesper. He missed him tonight, while sitting across the table from him. When had he last been held by him? When had they last been alone together?

The cold winter’s night cut through his elegant suit jacket like it was nothing, and the young merchling leaned in gladly. It reinvigorated him, like fresh blood was pumping through his veins again. He blinked out at the gardens from the edge of the terrace.

The moon was waxing, nearly full as it cast the night in a wash of silvery blue. Stars twinkled in the velvet sky. He set his hands on the cold stone of the terrace railing, and let the prickling sensation of overstimulation fade.

It took less than a couple minutes for him to go from exhilarated by the chill to fighting the first shivers, but he resisted. He didn’t want to go just yet.

He didn’t hear the muted open and shut of the fogged up parlour door, or the call of his name until there were footsteps trotting up beside him. Jesper was grinning, loose-limbed with wine and happiness, slipping a hand around his waist as he came to stand beside him— if Veld or Boer saw them so close, they’d be scolded like horny teenagers.

Wylan pressed closer.

“Skipping out on your own party? Bad form, merchling.”

“Our party. I’m not marrying myself.”

“If it was our party, you’d be helping me fend off the miserable old prunes you call councilmen— Gekkehuis just tried to corner me by the punchbowl. I nearly drowned myself in it just to make a quick escape.”

Wylan couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up in his chest. There was something quippy and bright on the tip of his tongue, but he never got the chance to say it. He looked up and over to see his betrothed, and saw him bathed in moonlight. His curls were moisturised and styled, falling over his forehead with the shine of a silver blue halo. There was a smudge of kohl lining his luminous eyes, and the winter air had already bitten a little colour into his cheeks.

Jes blinked down at him with the twinkle of a laugh still in his eyes, but it faded quickly to something more subdued. “It’s bitter out here, Wy— you’ll be turning blue soon. Let’s get you back inside, warm you up—“

But Wylan couldn’t make his feet move. Maybe it was the spell of the moonlight, and the way it hugged along Jesper’s lanky, lovely frame. Or maybe it was the curl of desperation he felt to finally be alone with his betrothed after all night under so many watchful eyes. His body was so warm and alive pressed along his, and even just the one step he’d taken away from him was too much.

He wanted to be with Jesper. Just Jesper. He didn’t want to go inside and go back to keeping up the tender distance of a proper, not-yet-married couple. So, he caught Jes by the wrist before he could make a move to the door, and reeled him back in until they couldn’t get closer. The lapels of his fine suit jacket— a stunning green fabric Colm had brought in from Noyvi Zem just for the occasion— slipped softly under Wylan’s fingers. Underneath, his heart beat steadily. The warmth of his chest suffused into Wylan’s palms, and he was greedy for it.

Whatever expression was on his face, Jes took one look at him and he knew.

“Don’t want to go back yet.” He said anyway.

It earned him a rakish smile that kindled low in his belly. Wylan wanted the heat in his eyes, he wanted the heat of his lover.

“No?”

He shook his head, giggling a little deliriously as Jesper crowded him up against the stone terrace railing. “Can’t go back to all that… just yet. Warm me up.”

Jesper knew what he meant.

He brushed the tip of his nose to Wylan’s. “And what about Ghezen’s rules of propriety for unwed couples?”

“Some rules are meant to be broken.” It wasn’t as if they weren’t breaking them in their private life every day, but it sent a thrill along his spine just the same. “No one on the council will be looking for us out here tonight— not for a while, at least. Too cold for them.”

“We have a minute or two.” Jesper nodded conspiratorially. His hands were wandering, squeezing at Wylan’s hips and brushing along his thighs. It was like he couldn’t help himself— and Wylan wouldn’t dare stop him. “Missed you, merchling.”

Oh Ghezen, it was such a drug to have a moment to themselves. He tilted himself up, leaning back in those strong arms, waiting for a kiss that hovered just out of reach.

“Show me how much.” He whispered back.

The first brush of those perfect lips was barely more than warm breath on his cheek. It made Wylan shiver. The second kiss was that little bit more solid, pressed to the corner of his smiling mouth. When the touch made him sigh, Wylan’s exhale once again curled out in a frosty plume.

Jes had slipped his hands under Wylan’s open suit jacket, pulling him flush by his hips. He was so warm.

“Saints, you’re so cold, Love— the elements are against us.” Jesper chuckled, his hands roving across his back, sneaking up between his shoulder blades while the other stroked along the dip of his spine. Saints.

Wylan looked up at his betrothed playfully from under his lashes. “Never knew you to back down from a challenge.”

And then, Jesper wasn’t just kissing him, he was plundering him. He freed a hand to sink it into the curls at the back of his head. His palm was so warm, his body hot and insistent against his own. He scrambled for just a moment before getting his cold, clumsy hands wrapped around his lover’s shoulders, refusing to let him go further than a breath away from his lips while Jesper said challenge accepted.

Time seemed to go syrupy slow in their little bubble of the world— the moon, the frost, the cold stone at Wylan’s back and the hot, hot body wrapped up around him. He felt utterly enveloped by his lover. The kisses were deep and drugging, his hands were roughly squeezing, trying to get Wylan impossibly closer and closer. He was no longer shivering with cold, but he was trembling with want.

Heat throbbed through Wylan, the rush of it making his knees buckle. Jesper’s thigh pressed in, slotted with Wylan’s own— there were sparks flying behind his blissfully closed eyes, his hands fisting in that beautiful green suit. There was a deep blush blooming in his cheeks. He could feel it rushing down his neck as those lips pressed searing, openmouthed kisses down the column of his throat. His ass was half leaned against the stone behind him, and half hiked up into Jesper’s hand. A choked off gasp split the night, and Wylan let Jesper kiss it out of his mouth.

There was a familiar curl of desperate heat, coiling and unspooling itself in the cradle of Wylan’s hips. As the want mounted higher and higher inside him, he couldn’t help but rock into Jesper like a tide, and Jes only urged him on with his own rolling hips. The hot, hard length of him was pressing insistently against his own, the friction of their clothes feeling maddeningly good and nowhere near enough, not enough—

Somewhere in the back of his addled mind, he knew they needed to stop soon. Wylan needed to straighten out the wrinkles in his suit and try to fix the mess Jesper was certainly making of his hair. They were the guests of honour— they couldn’t disappear from their own party indefinitely just to make out like horny teenagers and give themselves hypothermia.

That was until his betrothed fisted that hand in his curls, sending a satisfying sting zinging down his spine. With his throat bared to the cold night, Jesper licked a hot stripe to his jaw, and bit.

The sound Wylan let out was a long, keening thing, firecrackers popping behind his eyes and blunt fingernails scrabbling along Jesper’s back. In that moment, he would swear he’d never felt so greedy. He needed more, he needed everything—

As if on cue, a throat cleared roughly behind them.

“At your own party? You’re lucky the windows have drapes.”

Wylan nearly toppled backwards into the garden, biting back the shocked yelp as reality came slamming back into them. Jesper jumped back a full step, all the body heat between them going cold and empty again. The terrace was still frosty blue, and the hubbub of the party continued in the amber light of the parlour, a constant murmur behind the curtains and foggy windows.

Kaz looked bored.

At least it was just Kaz. Wylan gingerly set his feet back on solid ground, slipping down from the stone railing. Jes seemed to be thinking the same thing, deflating his shoulders with a relieved sigh. He hooked his arm around Wylan’s waist and grinned at their friend like the cat that got the cream.

“Wylan was cold.”

“Oh, I’m sure he was.” Kaz rolled his eyes. “What if someone had seen you? Are you trying to kill Gekkehuis? Because there are easier ways to do it.”

“Not more fun ways, though.” Wylan chimed in. His voice was so wrecked, he hardly even recognised himself, breathless and raspy.

The huff of Jesper’s laugh made a frosty cloud unfurl from his lips. Wylan missed him again— the heat, the easy way he touched him, the closeness.

Their friend didn’t seem pleased about it, but he at least conceded to their point. “Just get inside before somebody else sees you. And fix your hair— you look like you’ve been mauled, Wylan.”

He could swear that his blush didn’t fade for the rest of the night.

[unrequitedloveletter]

Louder than Words- Kaz Brekker

Okay, hi! This one was requested by @ell0ra-br3kk3r​ about a week and a half or so ago? My notifications say it’s been about two weeks since we discussed it, and El, I promise I didn’t forget about the discussion! I just got sidetracked with editing a few fics I’m getting ready to post on ao3 and that took up a lot of my free time. 

On another note, though, this one is inspired by Louder Than Words sung by the cast of Tick, Tick, Boom! I was going to do a songfic but then I couldn’t make it work in my head, so the result instead is a fic very heavily inspired by the hopeful and cheery-ish vibes I got from the melody with a few allusions to the lyrics! El, if you want me to rewrite it and try to write a song fic, please let me know and I’ll do my best!

Fic type- this one is fluff with an angsty element or two?

Warnings-mentions of cages in relation to birds being trapped in them

Kaz often felt like his life was an amalgamation, of sorts. An amalgamation of every result to every decision he’d ever made. The reckless, the less than reckless, the smart and the ones that made people terrified. 

He hadn’t regretted a moment of any of it, though. The Ice Court, fighting against Jan Van Eck, watching as he was arrested, doomed to spend the rest of his days in Hellgate. 

Fighting against Per Haskell, forsaking him and watching as everyone else in the Dregs did the same, forcing Haskell out of the gang he once took so much pride in, crediting himself as the one who’d done the work, when all of it had fallen on Kaz’s back.

In the days, the weeks, and the months after everything surrounding the Ice Court had been said and done, Kaz often found himself feeling like a bird freed from a cage, allowed to take flight once more. There was no more running things by Haskell, losing out on money to make sure that the old man got what he thought to be the keep he’d earned. 

Kaz was almost grinning as he walked into the Crow Club and caught sight of you as you finished your shift behind the bar. 

“Chipper today?” You asked. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen get close to smiling as you are right now.” 

Kaz shrugged. “It’s just a bit of a good mood, is all,” he said. “Things always get that way this time of year. I tend to get a bit more optimistic with the cold.”

“Ah, is it the weather at last matching the image of your heart that makes it melt? How inopportune I imagine it must be to have a heart that melts with the drop in the temperature.” 

But Kaz’s words had been only half true. He’d been feeling lighter, truly. Some part of him worried less as the business grew, as the Dregs continued to expand and grow, reaching into even the corners of the city farthest from the Barrel. He was leaving a mark, leaving a legacy behind. 

It’d made him worry less, though he was still as analytical as he’d once been, still as much of an overthinker and, perhaps driven by greed more so than he’d been before the heist, but it just seemed that that day was destined to be decent, a day wherein he could just drink coffee, review plans. 

It was a day full of inaction, a day wherein you picked up a shift at the bar and helped Kaz make sure nobody was doing anything stupid, one of the few days without much to do, and it was one you both cherished.

“You’re lucky I tolerate your company.”

You laughed, and Kaz ignored the way that it made him feel--terrified, helplessly in love, like the luckiest man on the earth--and ordered a whiskey. 

“I love you too, Brekker,” you said. “Joining me for the last ten minutes?” 

“We’re to meet with Jesper and Wylan after your shift is done. I was coming around to notify you, but the whiskey and your company are just added bonuses.” 

You scoffed, shaking your head as you poured a shot of kvas, sliding it across the bar counter to the customer who waited.

Kaz took a sip of his whiskey, confirming it internally. He regretted nothing from the day he’d agreed to the Ice Court job and forth from there. Least of all you. 

He was a bird freed from a cage, allowed to fly once more, blazing a new trail rather than walking the path he’d walked whilst under Haskells employment. 

[jazzythursday]

Tagged by @aphroditestummyrolls for belated end of the year questions. Thanks for thinking of me! 🥹💖

Tagging @stormkpr @waterloou @sparrowmoth @its-tortle if you feel so inclined

What is your favourite thing you created?

I’m going with Cutting Loses for this one, because it’s the first wesper thing I posted on ao3 and the fic I go back to reread the most. It’s also a really solid example of my favourite way to write Wylan’s inner monologue and characterisation.

Which work are you proudest of?

Everyday, Just a Little or a Little Bit—My baby, my child, my 40k love letter to wesper. And I am so so close to finishing it!

Is there anything you are proud of that you achieved this year?

For writing, I’m really proud that I completed all the wesper week prompts earlier in the year. I loved participating and I feel like it helped a lot in developing my writing.

And something I’m proud of outside of writing—I’ve always had a really hard time meeting people through fandom, but finding mutuals on here through wesper and talking to so many wonderful people on discord is something I’m so proud of getting to experience. (And Mutuals reading this, just know that you make my little corner of the internet so much brighter, and even though I’m not the best at reaching out I’m always happy to chat abt anything 💖)

Did you explore anything new this year? (A new way to be creative, a trope you didn’t write before, or an idea you hadn’t thought of earlier, etc.)

Writing Wylan and Jesper as neurodivergent—and exploring my own nurodivergence through writing—is completely new to me, but it’s something that I’ve really enjoyed and want to continue this year!

Which work gave you the most difficulty?

The 4th chapter of Everyday has been a big challenge, I think just because I had a clearer direction for the first three and I always knew where I was going. Because 4th is after the original arc I planned, it’s been harder to nail down what I want out of it. I kept fighting on myself about which sections were too long and what needed more, and feeling too tired/busy/stressed to make decisions about it before winter break.

What was your biggest creative challenge this year?

Probably not letting perfectionism and low self esteem stop me from writing? Getting myself to actually write, and then edit, and actually post things—feeling like my writing is actually worth beta-ing and caring about as much as I do, etc. I go through periods sometimes of not being able to even look at my drafts without feeling overwhelmed, and so not falling off the wagon completely even through my accidental hiatus the last few months has been a real challenge.

Which work brought you the most joy?

Hmm. As far as fics go I want to say it’s Everyday? Buts it’s also brought me the most stress lol. I think what’s really brought me the most joy is just talking to people about my fics. Getting feedback on ao3 and on all the drabbles I’ve posted on tumblr throughout the year.

Which of your works do you think people should check out?

All of them if they want to! But Everyday, Just a Little or a Little Bit, Cutting Losses, I Need to Leave (Please Stay), and Careless is The Fall are all personal faves of mine.

Do you have creative plans for next year? Is there anything exciting you’re currently working on?

SO MANY (if I can find the time and energy) that I’m really excited to get to! Even once I post the last chapter of Everyday, there’s still so many moments and scenes and ideas from it that I’ve wanted to expand into one shots. To name a few: an expanded scene from the end of ch 2, Jesper’s pov of some of ch 3, and an outsider pov with the bookkeeper from ch 1 (he has a name and his husband has a name and they both have backstories 🤗)

There are also still a lot of wips in my docs that I’ve been neglecting. The wylan whump fic, jealous jesper, multiple post-ck things, jesper character study, and so many more.

Lastly, any words of wisdom or anything else you would like to share?

Write what you want to read, and chances are that it will find other people who will be so happy you wrote it.

[sissytobitch10seconds]

Febuwhump 28: Unexpectedly Expected

Fandom: Grishaverse: Six of Crows and Shadow and Bone Summary: Death was around every corner, including the one that their car had just rounded. Warnings: Car crashes, graphic descriptions of injuries, blood, gore, major character death, and heavy angst Word Count: 1,883 Ship(s): Kaz Brekker/Nina Zenik/Inej Ghafa/Matthias Helvar/Wylan Van Eck/Jesper Fahey

Archive link!

“Jes!” Nina called as she twisted around in the front seat so that she could see the lover behind her.

“Yes, beautiful?” he asked, his eyes flicking up from his phone for only a moment.

Inej loved them when they were like this, all together in a roadtrip across the country. Nina and Matthias traveled a lot because they had always wanted to see the world and their job forced them to do so. She traveled as she searched for cases that were close enough to what had happened to her and her brother that she could right the wrong that had happened years and years ago (she was aware that it was a bit selfish, but she had her entire life stripped from her when she was only fourteen, so she figured that she had earned the right to be selfish). Kaz, Wylan, and Jesper were always home because of their jobs which meant that they didn’t travel with the others very often.

Despite that, she had managed to convince them that they could take some time off their work for a road trip together. It was mid-December now, as they traveled across the vast expanses of America so that they could visit Colm on his farm in Nebraska. They had woken up very early the morning before so that they could get bundled down in the car and miss the morning traffic out of New York City. The only drove for about eight hours at a time, stopping frequently so that Trassel could be walked and Kaz could stretch his leg out. They rotated drivers and music so that no one would get fed up with any one position.

Inej could just barely see what everyone was doing in the rear view mirror as she tried to keep her eyes on the road. She was driving today, she usually took the midday shift because that was when her restless energy got the better of her. Nina was in the seat next to her, weighted red stuffed dragon in her lap and snacks shoved into every pocket that side of the car had. Jesper was sitting directly behind Nina with his weighted lap blanket spread over his legs to keep him warm and the battery pack for his phone on top of that. Wylan was on the side behind Inej, his head leaning against the window and his pretty mouth open as he snored away. Kaz was in the middle so that he could stretch both of his legs out in front of him, vitally trying to stay awake despite the lack of sleep and soothing motion of the car getting to him. Matthias was in the one seat that remained in the back with Trassel’s bed covering the space where they could be brought up from the floor. The white dog was snoring soundly, sighing every so often when he got a head pat.

“Can you give me one of your Red Vines, please?” Nina asked, perking her lips out in a pout that Jesper was never able to resist.

It seemed this time was slightly different because he narrowed his eyes at her. He picked the candy up from where he had snuggled it into the pocket of the door and then bit into one. “Tell me why I should.”

“Because I’m your girlfriend and you like me very much?” she offered.

“You also have the rest of the snacks,” Kaz’s voice broke through the conversation before the real fight could break out.

Wylan jerked awake and then gave a dramatic yawn. Inej always thought it was so cute when he had taken his anti-nausea medicine. It made him sleepy in a way that no late nights in the lab or his office ever had, cuddly and flushed with warm from the floor heater of the car. “What’s going on?”

“Nina is trying to steal my snacks even though she is the ultimate snack thief!” Jesper squawked indignantly. He leaned around Kaz so that he was closer to Wylan, whispering conspiratorially. Kaz pursed his lips and raised his hands up into the air so that he could accommodate for the sudden lapful of boyfriend that he had been given.

“Nina is not a snack thief, she is the distributor,” Matthias shouted above them from the backseat. “Watch. Nina, my beautiful love, would you please pass me the bag of chips?”

“No,” she immediately replied.

Jesper and Wylan both cackled at that, flinging themselves away from Kaz so that he had some room to breath again. He seemed to miss their presence, if Inej had to guess.

“What? Why not?” Matthias scoffed.

Nina turned around so that she was able to look between Jesper and Kaz to address him properly, “Because every time I give you a snack you end up feeding half of it to Trassel. He has his food back there and we can’t keep feeding him human food or we’ll have to stop more often!”

“That might not be so bad,” Kaz grumbled as he shifted around in his seat.

Inej turned her head back to look at him, her free hand brushing over his knee. “Is it  bothering you today?”

“The extra space is good, but the lack of the heater in the middle sucks,” he grouched.

She gave him a sympathetic smile and then turned back to the road. The highway that they were on was taking a sharp turn, which meant that she had to focus on not getting too close to the guard rail. She was good at this, she drove for a half of what she did for a living, after all, so she wasn’t putting that much brain power into it. It was only when they came around the corner of the hill and saw what was waiting for them that she began to panic.

A semi, lights and horn blaring, was charging for them on the wrong side of the road. She swerved to the left, which also happened to be in the direction of the hill, just as the massive vehicle hit the side of their van. She felt the car that had been riding their ass all the way since the last gas station ram into them from behind. Both of the vehicles hitting them at once meant that there was nowhere for the energy of the crash to go but into them.

A scream tore through her throat as she felt the windshield break and shatter glass all over her body. A thousand tiny cuts formed on her face and her arms. She was pushed forward into the steering wheel so hard that she felt her arms dislocate from their sockets, unable to stay so close when her head and torso were being pushed in different directions.

Inej could barely even focus on herself despite the unbelievable amount of pain that she was in. She turned around so that she could see her lovers, to get some glimpse of them to make sure that they were okay. Nina was hunched over in her seat, her head smashed against the airbag that hadn’t gone off and smearing blood against the black matte. Kaz was groaning in the middle seat, his bag leg crunched up against his body and Jesper laying limply against his side. The aforementioned boy had been shoved so far forward that his head was essentially against the middle console, but it was then that Inej noticed the massive tree branch that had entered through Jesper’s window and existed through his upper chest. Wylan wasn’t making any noise other that spluttery coughs that sounded a little too wet to just be vomit. Trassel was in the very back, howling and barking as he too had been affected by the crash. Matthias was doing nothing to help him though, which meant that he was likely injured too.

“Matthias!” Inej shouted. He was the only one that she couldn’t see, the one that needed help. “Matthias!”

The semi-truck slowly backed up so that her side of the car was free to the open air, the freezing cold air of the winter. She just barely turned her head to the side despite the searing hot red pain that shot through her because of her dislocated shoulders to that she could see the door being opened.

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t even see you guys coming!” the truck driver said as he unbuckled her seatbelt and then got her out of the car. 

He shouldn’t have done that, she knew that he should have left her for the EMTs to come and find. He didn’t have the training to know whether or not she had a neck injury that could kill her if she as moved too much. All she could say was, “You were driving on the wrong side of the road.”

“There was ice,” he tried, but she just spit out the blood that was pooling in her mouth from the busted lip she was sporting.

The man got up and removed the others from the van as well. Inej had been surrounded by enough death that she knew Nina was already gone. The defect that they had in their airbags had killed her, prevented her from having the cushion that she would have needed to survive. Her green eyes were glassy and her form was limp as candy wrappers and empty soda cans trailed after her.

Jesper was also gone, the tree branch squelching as he was dragged out of the van and laid down beside Nina. Kaz was still alive, but his legs were twisted in some horrendous mockery of what had happened to him when he was a child. Wylan was soon to be gone, his front was covered in foamy white bile and blood dripped from his mouth. Matthias was dead as well, completely stagnant and bleeding from the entire left side of his body.

The people in the car behind her had the decency to check for pulses, likely because of the EMTs that they were on the phone with. Soon the bodies were covered with the blankets that the truck driver found in the back of his car.

Kaz had started to mumble about Jordie, then his body began to seize. He didn’t stop, his head thrown back against the pavement and his mouth clenched shut. The people that had hit them from the other side tried to pry it open so that he could get some air around the convulsions, but they weren’t trained and they had no medication. Eventually, his entire body went lax. They were doing CPR on him to the instructions of the person on the other end of the phone, but Inej knew that he was gone. 

They were all gone, Wylan had already been covered up with another one of the blankets after he vomited up another bout of pinky foam and then went still.

“This wasn’t how this was supposed to happen,” Inej whispered. She could feel her own injuries getting to her the longer that she lay on the cold ground. She was shivering from the temperature of the asphalt, but that only made her hurt worse. She could feel bloating around her hips and stomach, likely because she was bleeding internally. “I’m so sorry.”

[beansmack2021]

Wesper w/ Prompt 11

A job goes wrong and one of the Crows is injured. Hurt/Comfort

"Oh God, you're bleeding"

"Should be an easy in and out, but be ready for anything." Typical Kaz, ever so peachy. Jesper sighed as he polished his pearl-handled revolvers. He knew that "an easy in and out" meant they'd probably be caught mid-escape and have to fight their way out. Wylan leaned over and hugged Jesper's neck, watching as he cleaned his revolvers for the fourth time today.

"You're worried. Why are you worried? This is supposed to be an easy job."

"Easy jobs always mean fighting. They're never actually easy. I just don't want anyone getting hurt."

Wylan nodded, he knew Jesper had been more anxious about one of the Crows getting hurt, especially now with the Black Heretic back. But he also knew it that Jesper loved this type of job more than any other, so it had to be something more.

"What's on your mind?" He was now at his side, crouched low and looking directly into his eyes. Jesper looked at him for a moment and opened his mouth to say something, but smiled instead and leaned in closer to whisper. "I'm thinking about how badly I want to kiss you right now." Wylan knew that wasn't the full truth, though he'd be lying if he said he hadn't also been thinking about kissing Jesper, too. He stood up, pecked his lover on the lips, and turned to go get ready for their job.

They left the Slat in pairs or individually, so as not to raise suspicion for anyone still out on the streets at night, but Kaz had said they'd all meet a few buildings down from the residence that they'd be breaking into. Of course, by meet, Kaz meant that Inej would be on the rooftops and Nina would be at least 30 seconds ahead of them, bringing the guards to unconsciousness.

Things were going according to plan so far, as they'd made their way up a grand staircase and down a long hallway to the office. Kaz would be rummaging through the drawers for papers and the key to a large safe in the corner of the room while Jesper stood watch and Wylan hid around a corner down the way, ready to distract if necessary.

But everything went sour when they'd heard yelling downstairs. Jesper knocked on the office door three times to tell Kaz he had about 5 minutes to get out, and then he heard one of Wylan's explosives going off.

"Guess it's play time." Jesper held up both of his revolvers, slinking around the corner and firing without even really looking. He doesn't have to look to know that he hit his target dead-on.

He glanced at Wylan, crouched low on the other side of the top of the stairwell. Jesper quickly crossed, firing a few rounds while he did. "How are you doing?" He yelled over the loud banging and shouting. When Wylan coughed and groaned in response, Jesper turned to face him. He paled immediately.

"Oh saints, you're bleeding."

"Astute observation, my love."

"Don't be sarcastic with me, mister."

Wylan opened his mouth, likely to make another remark, but he coughed again, clutching his side in pain. Jesper needed a plan. He needed to get Wylan out, and fast.

"What can I do? What can I do?" He looked around for anything he could use, or any exit they'd missed to escape through. When he saw nothing, he resorted to crouching and putting pressure on Wylan's wound. He'd been shot, and Jesper looked at Wylan's back. There wasn't an exit wound. Jesper wracked his brain for anything. He didn't trust himself not to freak Wylan out or hurt him with his power, but he had to do something.

As if reading his mind, Wylan dragged his eyes up to Jesper's and nodded. No words, but Jesper knew exactly what he was saying.

𝘐 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶, 𝘦𝘷𝘦𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧. 𝘐 𝘵𝘳𝘶𝘴𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘵𝘰 𝘩𝘦𝘭𝘱 𝘮𝘦, 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦.

Jesper took a deep, shuddering breath and wiped away a tear he didn't even know he'd cried. He held his hand over Wylan's wound, leaning him forward slightly. After almost too long, the bullet poured out of him and onto the ground in a silver puddle. Jesper sighed in relief and Wylan gave him a shaky, sleepy smile.

Jesper smiled as a sob escaped him, and he kissed Wylan before standing again to see what the fighting had turned into. Apparently, it'd turned into Nina taking down at least 15 burly men by herself. He called her up to the top of the staircase to heal Wylan, and sank against the wall, exhausted, relieved and a little proud of himself.

[anthony-sharma]

Six of Crows Reread - Ch. 13

Now we see Kaz’s thoughts after Inej almost dies during the ambush.

_

Chapter 13: Kaz

“The pain in Kaz’s leg was terrible, the worst it had been since he’d first broken it falling off the roof of a bank near the Geldstraat. It was possible he’d fractured the bone again. Inej’s weight wasn’t helping, but when Jesper stepped into his path to offer help, Kaz shoved past him.

“Where’s Nina?” Kaz snarled.

“Seeing to the wounded below. She already took care of me.” Dimly Kaz registered the dried blood on Jesper ’s thigh. “Wylan got dinged during the fight. Let me help you—”

“Get out of my way,” Kaz said, and plunged past him down the ramp that led belowdecks.”

First off, he’s carrying Inej on a “possibly” broken leg and still refuses to let her go, even when Jesper offers. I know it’s such a small thing here but really, his commitment to her is unmatched!

Also, you guys, I’ve been reading this fic that’s a blend of SoC / Hunger Games and it is so well written. I seriously recomment you guys to go take a look. it’s included in my “Fic Rec List #5″ under the fics written by @endoftheworldhere. The name’s “One for Sorrow” and I seriously recommend it. It then expands into the HG experiences of the rest of the Crows (Jesper, Wylan, Inej), so you should definitely check them out!

“The cramped cabin was lit by several bright lanterns and a stash of clean bandages had been laid out on a shelf beside a bottle of camphor. Gently, Kaz placed Inej on the table that had been bolted to the deck.

[...]

He was alive because of Inej. They all were. They’d managed to fight their way out of a corner, but only because she’d prevented them from being surrounded. Kaz knew death. He could feel its presence on the ship now, looming over them, ready to take his Wraith. He was covered in her blood.

“Unless you can be useful, go away,” Nina said without looking up at him. “You’re making me nervous.” He hesitated, then stomped back the way he’d come, stopping to purloin a clean shirt from another cabin. He shouldn’t be this shaken up by a dock brawl, even a shoot-out, but he was.

Something inside him felt frayed and raw. It was the same feeling he’d had as a boy, in those first desperate days after Jordie’s death.”

He really is at his gentlest with her. Of course, when Inej is awake he can be crass / rude and harsh, but now, with her at death’s door, none of that really matters. Again, it is not justifiable, but understable how angry he gets with Jesper later on, for all they went through because he talked when he shouldn’t have. 

On another note, the fact that this feeling of unsettling helplessness he had when Jordie die comes back when Inej’s about to die just goes to show how much he loves her and values her, and how lost and alone he’d be without her. 

“What the hell just happened?” Jesper asked. He was leaning against the railing, his rifle beside him. hair dishevelled, pupils dilated. He seemed almost drunk, or like he’d just rolled out of someone’s bed. He always had that look after a fight. Helvar was bent over the railing, vomiting. Not a sailor, apparently. At some point they’d need to shackle his legs again.”

We never got to see Jesper on the show with a rifle, so it’d be really cool to see him with one on the spin off. 

In addition, didn’t Matthias already travel by ship by this point (in flashbacks, when she met Nina)? Do people get motion sickness everytime they board a boat or is that sometimes that passes over time? Should it still be happening? It just seems very funny to me how this tall, big, intimidating Fjerdan soldier cannot seem to hold it in and vomits over the railing. 

“Stand him up.”

With one huge hand, Helvar hauled Oomen to his feet.”

It’s a bit funny to me how even though Matthias doesn’t feel like a Crow yet (and pretty much hates Kaz at this point), he still follows his orders.

“Kaz heard Wylan retching. He tossed the eyeball overboard and jammed his spit-soaked handkerchief into the socket where Oomen’s eye had been. Then he grabbed Oomen’s jaw, his gloves leaving red smears on the enforcer ’s chin. His actions were smooth, precise, as if he were dealing cards at the Crow Club or picking an easy lock, but his rage felt hot and mad and unfamiliar.

Something within him had torn loose.”

First of all, it’s petty but oh-so-Kaz to stash the spit-soaked handkerchief in his eyeball. Kind of like “you made this bed, now go lie in it”.

Second of all, DAAAAMN! He’s doing all this horrific things with such calmness and precision, as if it were no big deal even though he just gouged out an eye? As he says, something within him had torn loose. Inej’s almost death is provoking all this unsettling, unexpected, raw feelings. When he was a boy he couldn’t do anything about it (he was still Kaz Rietveld) but now, with a reputation behind him and skills he didn’t have then...he’s gonna be gouging out some eyes if people so much as look at his girl wrong!

“I need a medik. Can you take me to a medik now?”

“Of course,” said Kaz. “Right this way.” He took Oomen by the lapels and hoisted him off his feet, bracing his body against the railing.

“I told you what you wanted!” Oomen screamed, struggling. “I did what you asked!”

Despite Oomen’s knobby build, he was deceptively strong – farm strong like Jesper. He’d probably grown up in the fields.”

Kaz might not be the tallest in the group but he’s certainly strong, alright. Lifting a person described as “farm strong like Jesper” with just his arms and no one else to help him? Maybe I’m too weak, but I wouldn’t be able to do it. 

“Wylan took a deep breath as if sucking in courage and sputtered, “You won’t throw me overboard. You need me.”

Why do people keep saying that? “Maybe,” said Kaz. “But I’m not in a very rational mood.”

Well, he’s right, definitely. Something came loose (like a screw) the moment he saw Inej almost dying in his arms. 

“Since when am I your valet?”

“Man with a knife, remember?” he said over his shoulder.

“Man with a gun!” Jesper called after him.

Kaz replied with a time-saving gesture that relied heavily on his middle finger and disappeared belowdecks. He wanted a hot bath and a bottle of brandy, but he’d settle for being alone and free of the stink of blood for a while.”

I cannot wait to see this exchange in the spin off. I can almost hear Freddy and Kit saying this already!

That’s it for chapter 13. Next up, we witness Nina’s efforts to save Inej!

Also, they really are just teenagers settling their differences by flipping fingers. 

Lastly, why does Kaz have to be the one to ask Jesper for stuff? I mean, he's the mastermind of the Crows, mostly, but does that entitle him to boss everyone around? 🤔

[milo-my-beloved]

things we don't say

A continuation of the some other life 'verse.

Playlist 🎵 Buy me a cup of tea ☕

Chapter Seven: The Night We Met

"How was your weekend?" Nikolai asks as soon as Inej steps through the door of The Little Palace on Monday morning.

"Oh, you know." She shrugs, tying her apron around her waist. "I planned and successfully pulled off a heist, performed with my ex-boyfriend to a room full of the richest people in Kerch, was maid of honour at a wedding, and threw an upstanding mercher out of my friend's house."

Nikolai stares at her for a few seconds. "Not much, then. Zoya, honey, come and listen to the list of crimes your best barista has committed over the weekend, so I don't gaslight myself into believing his conversation never happened."

Zoya raises an eyebrow. "Please, describe how your life is more interesting than mine."

Inej curses the fact it's Nina's day off, but tells them anyway. She tries to focus on Wylan and Jesper — their wedding was the reason behind the heist, anyway — but she can't miss Zoya's incredulous expression and Nikolai's smirk every time she mentions Kaz.

"You still never told us why you broke up," says Zoya, turning on the coffee machine.

Inej sighs, leaning against the counter. There are never any customers this early in the morning. "It's not for me to say."

"Mysterious," Nikolai says. "Or are you holding out on us because you think there's a chance at rekindling the romance, perhaps?"

She smiles. She's waited for Kaz to call for two months, and a part of her would love for them to go back to what they were. But if he doesn't want to open up to her, she won't hold her breath.

"I certainly hope so," that familiar rock-salt rasp says from behind her.

Inej spins around, glad that her bronze skin disguises her blush. How long has Kaz been standing behind her? Nikolai and Zoya must have seen him walk up to the counter and not warned her, the traitors.

Zoya hands him a black coffee. "Two sugars. Take your break, Inej."

Continue reading under the cut // Continue reading on AO3.

"I feel like I'm being ganged up on," she mutters, but she follows Kaz over to a table hidden in the corner of the cafe.

He takes a sip of his drink instead of jumping straight into whatever he wants to say. It must be hot enough to burn his tongue, but he doesn't flinch.

"Is this about Jesper and Wylan?" she asks. If she doesn't prod him for answers, her break will be over by the time he explains why he's sought her out.

"No, they're fine. From what Matthias said, they're... enthusiastically celebrating their new marriage."

Inej laughs. "Poor Matthias. I bet he's regretting his choice of roommate already."

"I actually..." He trails off, staring into his coffee like it might hold the answers to life. "I wanted to tell you what my nightmare was about."

Inej sits up straighter. "You don't have to. You don't owe me the truth if you don't want to tell it."

His eyes meet hers, and she realises they're the same colour as the coffee. "I know. But I want to be that better man you spoke of, if you'll let me."

She smiles, tilting her head to one side. "I'd like that."

He takes a deep breath, steeling himself for whatever memory he is about to dredge up. "There was an accident, when I was a child." He looks like he's fighting every word that leaves his mouth. "My — my brother took me on a cruise. We weren't going far, just from Lij to Ketterdam. But on the way, he got seasick."

Inej's heart sinks.

"He had to stand at the back of the boat so he could vomit into the water. I laughed at him for being so green. And when we were nearly there, when Fifth Harbour was just in sight... he fell in."

She reaches a hand across the table, waiting for Kaz's silent permission before squeezing his gloved fingers.

"I'm not sure what happened. I think he hit his head on the way down. But I leapt in after him, and the boat never noticed two missing boys. I nearly didn't make it to the harbour, but when I got to Ketterdam, Jordie was dead."

"Kaz..." Inej trails off, not sure what words could ease such a loss. "I'm so sorry that you both went through that."

He shakes his head, taking a shaky breath through his mouth. "I've never told anyone before."

She squeezes his hand tighter. "Thank you for trusting me," she says, and she really means it. "How does it feel?"

"Painful. Raw." He places his other hand on top of hers, brushing his thumb over her hand absentmindedly. "But... good."

"Good," Inej echoes.

He lets go to take another sip of his coffee, looking down at it again. "I might need something stronger than this to drink, though."

She grins. "Nikolai owes me an afternoon off. How about we go and get spectacularly drunk?"

He smiles, and it feels like the beginning of a new chapter. "That's the best idea I've heard all week."

*****

The first stop on their quest to get as drunk as possible is the tiny (overpriced) shop on campus, and then back to Inej's flat to drink the cider they bought.

She doesn't bother getting changed, and makes sure she doesn't bring anything important with her that isn't a necessity. Inej isn't much of a drinker, but she's had to pick Jesper up from enough parties to know that drunk people are incapable of keeping track of their belongings.

Once they've finished their drinks and Kaz has beaten her at three rounds of Uno, they walk into the center of Ketterdam with another bottle of cider each. It's only fifteen minutes away, which is a blessing because the buses in this city never show up when they're supposed to.

The weather is pleasant for this time of year, and the fruity taste of the cider reminds Inej of her mother's autumn apple pies.

They have dinner in a pub in town — a burger for Kaz, and a waffle for Inej — and then they make their way to the same shady club that they went to on the night they met.

Inej buys them both two rounds of drinks so she doesn't have to keep getting up to walk to the bar and then sits next to Kaz in the same booth where he broke a creep's hand with his cane the last time they were here. They sip their drinks in peace — gin and tonic for Inej and a vodka lemonade for Kaz — giggling about the quality of dancing and the choice of music. They only leave when a bouncer recognises them and threatens to throw them out.

When the night air hits her, Inej feels like she could fly. She throws her arms out and runs down the hill of a cobbled street in a decidedly wonky line, laughing to herself and grinning up at Kaz.

"Where to now?" she asks once he's caught up.

His eyes light up with the wicked sparkle she's missed so much. "How about we find ourselves a house party?"

There's no shortage of parties in Ketterdam, especially not in the Barrel. Inej has never had much of a reason to stray this far from the university, but Kaz assures her he knows where he's going, so she's happy to follow him to their next destination.

It ends up being one of the narrow houses perched on the canal. For a Monday night, the house is packed, and as soon as Inej walks through the front door, she knows she isn't going to make it to her 9am lecture tomorrow.

They drink unnaturally flavoured punch from a bowl, and then Kaz pours himself a whiskey and Inej grabs a can of gin and tonic and they make their way into the garden.

"I'm sorry," Inej says as soon as they sit down on the unmowed grass. They aren't the only people outside, but she doubts the two women arguing at the bottom of the garden care about their conversation.

"About what?" asks Kaz. He stretches out his bad leg, laying his cane next to him. She can just see the crow's beak peeking through the long grass, and it makes her smile.

"Leaving."

She's replayed that night over and over a million times in her head, wondering what would have happened if she had stayed. The guilt kept her up at night, and now she knows the truth, she only feels worse about pressuring Kaz to tell her about his past.

"Don't apologise for that." Kaz takes a sip of his drink. "You were right to go."

She leans back on her hands, looking up at him.

"It was the push I needed," he admits. "You were right. I needed to tell someone. And losing you is the only thing worse than facing my demons."

"Still," she says.

"If you're insisting on apologising for that, then I'd like to say sorry for telling you to leave in the middle of the night."

She smiles up at the moon. "If you insist."

It's a clear night, and the wind is blowing the cool water from the canal at the bottom of the garden up to them. She shivers and edges closer to Kaz. Without saying a word, he shrugs off his blazer and wraps it tight around her shoulders.

"I missed you," she admits, burying her nose in the collar of his jacket and laying her head on his shoulder.

"I missed you too."

The two women's argument steadily increases in volume. They're both slurring their words, and are only a few steps away from the water, so Inej really hopes they can both swim.

She turns her gaze back up to the stars. She can't tell whether the alcohol is making her confident, or if the words are just long overdue, but she says them anyway.

"Kaz?"

"Mmm?"

"I think I love you."

He doesn't speak for a minute, but she doesn't risk turning to see his reaction in case she breaks the spell.

Eventually, he says, "You think?"

"I know," she quietly corrects.

"Well, in that case," he says, turning to look down at her so their faces are only a few inches away. "I know I love you too."

She closes the distance between them, Kaz's blazer slipping off one of her shoulders as she lifts her arm to wrap it around his neck.

They're rudely interrupted by a loud splash, and they break away to find one of the women flailing about in the canal.

Both of them burst out laughing at the same time, and it takes a while for them to calm down, especially when the woman squelches past them with a glare.

"What time is it?" Inej asks, when she's able to talk again.

"Time to go home," Kaz suggests. "I'll call a cab."

"Wait," she interrupts, a ridiculous revenge plot forming in her mind. "Let's call Jesper instead."

Maybe his last call was the one that got her and Kaz together, but she's still salty about being woken up at 2am.

"I'll call Jesper," Kaz says. She can only describe the grin on his face as evil, and it makes her desperate to kiss him again. "And you can call Wylan."

Laughing, they take turn making the calls. When both Jesper and Wylan have promised that they're on their way, they lie back on the grass, still giggling as they wait for their ride.

*****

Inej wakes up the next morning with her stomach rolling and stars exploding behind her eyes. She sits up slowly, Kaz's limp hand sliding off her and onto the mattress.

She rubs her eyes, trying to remember what happened last night. They went out, but how did they get home? She doesn't remember much after leaving the club, if she's honest.

Luckily, there's an orange square taped to Kaz's forehead. She leans closer to read it, not wanting to wake him up by accidentally shaving his eyebrows off.

Congratulations for sorting out your shit, Jesper's handwriting reads.

Inej smiles. There's still a million things left for both of them to say, but this time, she won't be letting Kaz go so easily.

She kisses him on the forehead, and then slips out of bed silently. Before they can face their future, she needs two things: breakfast, and a glass of water.

[multistoty]

whatever    altercations    he’d    been    expecting    to    greet    them    upon    their    exit    with    the    subject    of    their    theft    in    tow    ,    this    was    far    from    it    .    wylan    knew    little    of    how    gangs    worked    ,    or    even    the    sheer    numbers    that    a    gang    had    at    its    disposal    but    if    the    answer    was    half    of    the    entire    city    of    ketterdam    flanking    them    from    each    corner    in    sight    ,    he    would    be    inclined    to    believe    that    kaz    had    made    a    mathematical    error    .    more    specifically    ,    an    error    sending    the    two    of    them    to    fend    off    a    platoon    of    enemies    .    jesper    needn’t    worry    about    the    contents    of    his    satchel    ;    wylan    had    come    prepared    .    

he    opened    his    satchel    &&    retrieved    a    package    ,    careful    not    to    touch    anything    else    for    fear    of    losing    some    of    its    contents    .    it    was    small    ,    but    it    packed    an    explosive    punch    .    the    only    drawback    was    it    needed    a    little    nudge    to    set    off    .    it    required    a    bullet    .    wylan    almost    dropped    it    when    jesper    tore    through    his    focus    as    soon    as    he    spoke    .    

on    your    own    if    you    must    .    whether    it    was    the    terror    of    the    prospect    that    he    might    have    to    weave    his    way    through    the    flying    bullets    &&    return    to    the    slat    with    their    stolen    artefact    on    his    own    that    caused    him    to    freeze    where    he    stood    ,    or    the    thought    that    no    matter    how    hard    they    might    fight    to    find    their    way    back    to    safety    ,    today    of    all    days    it    wouldn’t    be    enough    ,    wylan    did    not    know    .    of    only    one    thing    he    was    certain    .    not    his    own    safety    or    the    safety    of    the    prized    object    kaz    awaited    to    receive    upon    their    return    ,    but    jesper’s    safety    .    he    would    stand    in    the    middle    of    the    evacuated    square    &&    let    the    dime    lions    empty    their    chambers    on    him    if    that    is    what    took    to    ensure    it    .    

❝        no    .    i    need    you    to    get    close    to    them    &&    find    cover    .    when    i    throw    this    ,        ❞        he    held    out    the    hand    holding    the    small    package    for    emphasis    .        ❝        i    need    you    to    shoot    at    it    .    &&    get    down    on    the    ground    .    it    might    get    into    your    eyes    .        ❞

@aflockofcorws​