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#but yah i think its much more interesting to show the hope that the day will rise
adwendoodles · 1 year
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finally finished the redone strength card!
I screen recorded me doing part of this because... i’ve always wanted to try. it could be better but if you’re curious, here is the link
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limehaspassed · 10 months
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To Give a Man His Name
(Thomas Hewitt x M!Reader)
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In which you have dinner with the Hewitt’s.
Part Three (Soon)
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He was a brute of man, tall, wide, and intimidating. His eyes were like bottomless pits of undeterred determination, envy, and pain. His gaze was strong, sharp, it encompassed you and compressed you. Under his gaze, you felt small, insignificant, weak. You felt as if you were nothing more than prey waiting for its predator to attack, but you didn’t want to believe he would attack, you refused to believe he would attack.
“Good morning.” You greeted him one morning.
You were met with silence.
“Do you live around here? I haven’t seen you around here yet.” You asked, trying to make small talk.
At these words, he turned from where he stood in front of the table to look at you. His eyes were sharp, it felt as if he was melting you with a glare beyond anything you’ve ever seen. You wanted to sink away but you refused to, not wanting to back down. You didn’t want to let the rumors get to you, to ruin your image of him before you’ve even held a conversation with him. You didn’t want to let them be true.
You cleared your throat and looked away, his piercing gaze weighing heavy on you. You returned to your work and continued speaking from there.
“Well, I certainly wouldn’t miss yah, you’re a pretty big guy.” You spoke casually not meaning your comment as a slight against him. You were simply trying to make a joke but from the glare you could feel bore into your head, you knew you had said the wrong words. You didn’t even have to look at him to know he was staring at you with righteous anger. You had entirely spoken without thinking.
“I didn’t mean that against yah.” You clarified. You could still feel his burning eyes. “I just meant that you’re tall and there ain’t anything wrong with that. I think it’s pretty cool. In fact, I wish I could be that tall, you know how easily I would be able to grab things if I was that tall? Stupidly easy.” You expanded your comment, rambling on at this point, just speaking whatever came to mind.
Eventually, after a moment, his eyes fell and you internally sighed, glad to have dodged that bullet. You knew he wasn’t a monster but you also knew that you had no gauge over his emotions, he was a new pal after all. You didn’t know how quickly angered he was, or how quick he was to resort to cruelty. You hoped he was passive, that he went against what the people say about him. There was a part of you that wanted to explore his mind and prove to everyone how wrong they were about him, how different he is compared to their unjustified expectations.
He didn’t talk for the entire day and you didn’t push him anymore. You kept quiet for the remaining work time, deciding that it was best not to force him to talk. You wanted him to like you after all and forcing someone to talk is a guaranteed end of a relationship, even if it was just recently formed.
“Goodbye. Have a good day.” You spoke before taking your leave after your shift had ended. He didn’t return the favor. You didn’t mind it.
You went to start your walk home when the sheriff showed up. He pulled up beside you and flashed you a smile.
“Want a ride?” He asked.
You went to say no but stopped yourself, knowing that a lift would be a lot of help.
“Couldn’t hurt.” You replied and hopped in the cab.
The ride was silent for a bit until Hoyt broke it.
“So, you get out often besides work?” He asked.
You shook your head. “Not really. Wish I did but there is little to do in this town.” You explained with a sigh.
Hoyt hummed in agreement. “Right. So I’m meeting an old friend, Charlie for dinner. He told me to bring someone else. Would you be interested in joining? It’ll give you something to do and a reason to put on something a little more formal.”
You rolled your eyes at his last statement but ultimately agreed, not having much else planned either way. “And this is now?”
“Yeah but I thought we should swing by your place so you can get cleaned up.” His words held no weight to them but his expression did. He was waiting for something, something you didn’t know.
“Sounds good.” Your reply was short. There was a tension in the air now, one you felt but not the latter. You were afraid of what this something might be, what he might be searching for inside you. You did your best to push your suspicions away and to give the man your benefit of the doubt. After all, he was a part of the police system.
Soon enough, the two of you arrived at your house. He pulled into the dirt driveway and set the vehicle in park. “Go get ready, sweetheart.” He teased, giving you a sly look.
You feigned a smile and exited the cab, making your way towards the front door. You dug your keys out of your pocket and jammed them into the keyhole with a little more force than needed. Hoyt was quickly growing to be an annoyance, his remarks building up underneath your skin. You slid the door open and let out a relieved sigh, happy to smell the familiar air of your home.
Quickly, you made your way inside and into your small room. You walked into the bathroom off the side of your room and washed up quickly before heading back into the main area of your room. “What to wear?” You thought aloud as you rummaged through your dresser. You wanted to wear something casual but formal, something modest but cute.
Eventually, as you reached the bottom of your drawers, you found a flora printed shirt that you haven’t worn since you lived in California. It held a faded print and was cut enough to tease but not enough to show, it was appropriate enough. You slipped it over your body and adjusted it before grabbing your go to pair of shoes and heading out the door.
You stopped short of crossing the threshold when a hand reached out and grabbed your arm.
“Where are you going?” Your daughter asked, looking up at you with confused eyes.
“I’m heading out to dinner.” You started, turning to face her. You bent down and sat on the same level as her. “How about this? You come with me?” You offered.
Her eyes lit up and she smiled. She immediately ran to her room and got ready. You didn’t know if she would be allowed to come but you didn’t care. She was your daughter and if you’re going, she’s coming too. Time passed and she soon came running out of her room, wearing a dress similar to your shirt. It was modest and you were thankful, not wanting to force her to change into something else.
“Did you match on purpose?” You asked, examining her dress next to your shirt.
She grinned and nodded, grabbing your hand and dragging you out the door. You led her to the car and stopped in front of the passenger side door.
“And who is this?” Hoyt spoke the second you opened the door of the car. He held that mystery expression he held before, that intention you weren’t aware of.
You forced a smile in his direction. “This is my daughter, Lillian.”
“A Princess, how swell. You sure you want to bring her to a drinking party?” He questioned.
“You said it was dinner. Besides, I won’t be the one drinking.” You explained, opening the back door for Lillian to climb into the back of the cab. She got situated quickly and buckled up. You closed the door and took your own seat.
“Suit yourself.” He said and pulled the car out of park and reversed it out of the driveway. The three of you were now on your way to Charlie’s house.
You have heard of Charlie but you’ve never met him. The only bit of information you knew about was that he was the town’s local pervert. The reason you were glad Lillian wore a more modest fit was because of this rumor. You only wanted to play safe, after all, there was still that mystery intention Hoyt seemed to hold, the something you still haven’t figured out.
The ride was silent besides Lillian’s quiet humming. You could tell it was starting to tick Hoyt off but before he could say anything, they pulled into the driveway of Charlie’s house.
It was a larger house, certainly bigger than your own. From the looks of it, it held two floors. You haven’t seen a house quite this big since when you lived in California as you would drive through the upper class neighborhoods, wishing that you could one day live there. This reminded you of those upper class neighborhoods and what they might be when the economy fails.
The car was placed in park and the engine killed. You climbed out and opened the door for Lillian, who thanked you as she descended from the car.
The two of you walked towards the front door where Hoyt already stood, waiting for you. He knocked once you guys caught up to him. The door opened quickly, it was an older woman that greeted them with a warm smile.
“Oh, you must be Charlie’s friends. Come on in. My name is Luda Mae.” She introduced herself, waving the three of you in.
Hoyt was the first to walk through the door, followed by you and Lillian. You didn’t miss the sweet smile the elderly lady gave Lillian. You could only hope that Lillian gave a smile in return, that she has listened to your teachings. By the lady’s face, you could tell Lillian was listening after all.
As the two of you entered, you were both met with the smell of cooked meat and vegetables. The smell was appetizing to your hungry bellies. It was enticing and invited you further into the home. You would have followed the smell to the kitchen if it wasn’t for Luda Mae, who directed you to the living room while she finished making the food that smelled absolutely wonderful.
“Please, take a seat in the living room, dinner will be ready momentarily.” She spoke before disappearing into the kitchen.
Hoyt led the two of you to the living room, where a second person was introduced. He was in his late forties and he held crazed eyebrows. You did your best not to judge but it wasn't that difficult to keep up with eyebrow maintenance. You knew Lillian had noticed the man’s eyebrows as well and was probably snickering about it behind your back.
“Charlie!” Hoyt greeted excitedly, clasping the man on the back.
Charlie, returned the favor and hugged his friend back. The two then took a seat opposite of each other and started talking. They talked quickly and rather loudly. You didn’t really know where you fit into the picture so you just had Lillian and you took a seat on an unoccupied couch. Lillian sat close to you, practically sitting on top of your leg.
“Oh, these are my friends.” He goes on to introduce you and Lillian to Charlie.
“I said bring only one person.” Charlie restated his guidelines.
“It’ll be fine. It's only a kid.” Hoyt brushed off the situation.
“Whatever.”
You could tell Charlie was a bit aggravated by this but he didn’t say anything on the topic further. Instead, he started a conversation with Hoyt about the state of the town and how it seemed to be hitting a downward curve. They continued to talk about this for a while until Luda Mae came back into the room and announced that dinner was ready.
All four of you stood up and made your way into the dining room, you simply followed behind Hoyt and Charlie who knew where they were going. When you arrived at the table and took your seat, Luda Mae wheeled in yet another person, one that was older and couldn’t walk. The man looked over at you for a moment before looking away, towards the food on the table.
You watched him for a moment before turning your attention to Luda Mae, who was already looking at you with a sweet smile. You smiled back. She then turned to Charlie and waved at him, a signal he understood.
He stood up from the table and walked away. You could hear him yelling someone’s name but you couldn’t fully make out what he was saying. He returned back to the table with nothing in tow, coming empty handed. He sat down at the table and started talking with Hoyt once more.
“Is he coming?” You heard Hoyt asked to which he was interrupted by a door sliding shut fairly loudly.
There were loud footsteps heading towards your direction, they entered the dining room and stopped behind you. You were nervous to look behind you. A moment passed and Luda motioned for the person to take a seat. The footsteps continued and soon a man came into your view, taking a seat next to you.
It was him.
“Thomas?” You asked, rather shocked.
He looked up at you, slightly jarred that you remembered his name. He had seen you earlier that day, he didn’t expect you to be here, nor did he expect you to remember his name, especially considering most people only know him as the word, “freak.” It was quite a shock.
“Have you two already met?” Luda Mae asked.
“Yeah, we work together.” You didn’t let your gaze fall from the man beside you. He stares you in the eyes, almost as if it was a competition. This goes on for a bit until you blink and look away, not able to hold eye contact anymore. This didn’t stop him from staring.
For the rest of the night, for the rest of the time you were at that table, he stared at you intently. You didn’t know what he wanted and you wished he wouldn’t stare, it put you under a spotlight, one you didn’t want to be casted underneath. You hated being the center of attention and it felt like you were whenever his eyes landed on you.
You tried your best to distract yourself by exchanging a few words with Luda Mae but it never seemed to help, his stare was just as invasive. It loomed over you, causing you to sweat with nerves. You hated being looked at like this.
“Dad, are you alright?” Lillian asked quietly, tapping your arm.
You turned to her and forced a smile. “Of course, dear. Just a little out of it. It’s been a long day.” You explained, something that wasn’t a complete lie.
She nodded and continued eating. You were glad she didn’t ask anymore questions, that she accepted your lie.
Dinner came to an end and you were soon all saying your goodbyes. Luda gave each and every one of you a hug. Her hug was warm and inviting. You enjoyed it more than you would like to admit.
You turned to Thomas after Luda had moved on to give Lillian a hug. You gave a smile and a small wave. “Goodbye, Thomas.” You said before grabbing Lillian’s hand and walking towards the front door where Hoyt was with Charlie.
The two were engaged in a small conversation when you met up with them. Hoyt shook Charlie’s hand and said his goodbyes. Charlie smiled and wished him a good day. Hoyt headed out the door and you went to follow him when Charlie stopped you.
“Now you better stay nice to Tommy.” He warned, a threatening tone overtaking his voice.
You nodded sternly. “Of course.” You spoke, trying your best not to show your fear.
Charlie let you go after that, patting your back and sending you on your way. He closed the door after you left.
“That was odd.”
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Part 2/9
Tag List: @one-green-frog @kodasstar @cross-axis @the-lonely-abyss
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gayspock · 2 years
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data!
omf fank u...
How I feel about this character he is my best fucking friends <3 SORRY I DONT- IM SORRY THATS NOT A VERY INSIGHTFUL TID BIT IS IT, OMG... but he is 😁
All the people I ship romantically with this character i like data/geordi a lot! i think it's cute, yknow.<3 inot so much a unique, novel answer- though i think, in general.... god, it's really hard to describe. because it's like- TO ME, data/geordi to me are a pairing where i dont always label them in my head. does that make any sense?? like- i'll call them boyfriends and besties cutely and whatnot, but im also just sort of like ... (draws a love heart around the options that say relationship status for them)
like, dont twist tht: i dont mean it (or at least, i dont intend to mean it) in like a SUPER PRETENTIOUS sense? like goodness... blah blah blah, these characters transcend romance, or that their bond is more particular than any others, blah... moreso- i feel like data himself, and relationships of any sort, will inherently be different. and thats ok! bc the world is inherently different for him, and its like hmm...
idk how to explain it that well, you see, but its not that i dont think data cant NOT feel romantic love- but rather i dot think he'd feel different "types" of love at all, or at least not as clearly as we do, or its in a different way than we do, or- whatever..... i suppose thats a very abstract take on it, and partially its like. FR my own self-projection, a another autistic little guy who also really doesnt understand romantic love or friendship as theyre described to me by others but i can have my own silly little confused takes on either and be like well its this. :) and idk i thnk thats jst how it is <3 and i understand other readings on him completely bc of that- i think its all interesting, how ppl see him....
BUT YAH. him and geordi, above all else...i think what they are for each other is just really fucking nice, you know? like- it is... IT IS babe, you know? just so lovely and nice. bc like they arent pre-determined soulmates nor are they in the fros of passion for one another, yet theyre quite perfect for each other in the same way its pretty perfect when you put a bit of peanut butter on apples..... love and light. i hope theyre happy together being besties.
My non-romantic OTP for this character
everything i said above with him and geordi BUT ALSO FUCK IT IUP DATA AND DOCTOR CRUSHER
anyway fr tho everyone is data's bestie i think. literally what i will say about data is i think literally his dynamic works very well with, like, everyone because he IS a particular type of character and i think his perspective and inquisitive nature do, like, lend themselves to encourage certain reflection from each individual - so long as they're open to him. i really enjoy almost all other dynamics he has with ppl pretty equally!? i guess with the exceptions of picard and pulaski- neither of those really.... brought much to the show, in my opinion.
My unpopular opinion about this character:
dont think i have any off the top of my head?
LOL. I GUESS I WILL SAY- i agree that, though hes one of my fave tng characters, i deffo think hes overrated in a specific sense of like.... ik some ppl will hold him up and fr fr insist that hes the BEST THE BEST THE BEST and soo true 😁💖 but like in all honesty i'd get irritated also if he wasnt my cup of tea and i was a tng fan, like help.
ALSO. i havent seen the tng movies. hell- i might... man, i MIGHT. maybe when my exams are done- i feel like... this will sound so goofy, but i try to wait for specific days for things tht will be important to me. :3 ik at some point data gets an emotion chip- and i dont think this is that unpopular at all, but i suppose that this will be my own opportunity to say that i fucking HATE that... like i dont have to see it. I HATE IT.
like- in general, i hate the emotion chip. even with it not in his head- the very notion of it is bullshit, nothing girl<3 as corny and as shitty as a narrative move as it would be, i'd rather it were a fucking placebo- some bullshit "the emotions were inside of you all along!!!<3" kind of move. bc like... i mean. well. they are. data already feels plenty- he differs only in exactly HOW he processes the world, how he was learnt it, etc...... to make him seamlessly human, i think that'd only make sense if you completely erased all sense of self he had and rebuild him to percieve more "humanly" from the ground up. it certainly shouldnt be a chip that you can stick in his head that can be turned on and off at will.
One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon
(strokes my chin) hmmm i am not sure. i'll think on it. i do- i do WISH... sigh. i dont know. i think its moreso a problem with tng and its format in general- i do kind of wish... there could have been more progression, yknow? in the sense of. mm. i wish characters actually WOULD-would understand him.
and its like- its like... sigh. i dont want ALL of them to. i think the way picard treats data? hell, i hate it- but it makes a hell of a lot of sense, and i think its realistic for him to be snappy with him. for him not to properly sit down and try to understand data- like that does... actually make sense to me, from what i get from picard as a person. unfortunately enough. and its like- im not "fine" fine with that, but i like it in terms of like. a character decision bc i actually do value some sense of honesty with that but then in comparison....
idk... theres some other characters who will be dismissive or irritated with him sometimes. and again- i suppose it is just... how people would BE, but its like. they will all insist they love him but then also fail to understand him and get mad when he starts going to funny decimal points and its like. nooo babes... ITS LIKE I GET IT- everyone will have their moments of frustration/irritation, and HELL even everyone will have their limits of understanding, but then its also... like idk. a lot of the time some ppl who rlly should, at a point, understand him will then make a comment at him that... just doesnt FIT right. and i think its moreso- HONESTLY, i think its moreso writers trying to get in a funny haha data is an android joke in which despite it just kinda being clunky to the scene and- EH. its annoying i guess. thats just what it is, sometimes.
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f0xd13-blog · 2 months
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Bitch that usher shit doesn't even make sense because duhhh you cannot hide the fact that is portuguese ahahaha
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See the date i posted it... yall nasty asses are just making a fool of yourselves
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Yall gotta be joking to still appear on my feed with workout shit when i lost all my muscles because of you 2 YEARS OF WORK MOTHEFCUKERS!!! After getting framed on the press for beingva bombist and everyone thinking im a liar and crazy!! This is serious don even joker with me pieces of shit... you better get out of my fucking face coz i never even interacted with this sort of shit
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Here comes the mj inspired shit that wasn't taken from my peofile which they are totally reading for ages and just observing
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This is why i hate their asses now they come here to call me white and make me lose my jobs i just had enough now its too late to go back this will not end up good for all of you
Lmao!!! The hispanic messages i received after they retweeted my face and put on rolling stone ahahahah and the way multiple of us killed ourselves this year
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Pharrel loves chanel so much he did that thing with rosalia to disrespect her what a lode of garbage each time i remember about that louis vuitton shit before the attacks.. ufff
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This ks why they are creating product to kill people they think too much of themselves. You literally hated on me andd insisted to the point you made me have zero respect for all of you like its too much... if iwasnt blocking all shit wrestling realted i would still be having the rock appearing and jason mamado doing disrespectful shit
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No they don.they do use us to throw shade that stinks.
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None of you...
Anyways its being hard to let this go coz im so used to it now but will do it coz i don think this will be of any use anynore... hope you all had a time living on my expense while i was trying to just save my ass from people that are usa responsability to deal with but i guess only my ideas are good enough and not dealing with the responability of controlling sluts from destroying people you owe a lot to this day. Gotta go and see you soon for the worst reasons. Keep trying to inspire me after crewing up my life the more you appear the more i hate your asses... i need money!!! To go to work!! I don need tipa to train now that you ve destroyed all my work.
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And omg they already got another slut!! That was quick. Gosh...
Oh well i guess that is it... destroy lives and make peoples lives a living hell one day then on another day another slut sprouts lez see the effect of this. Im like wtv at this point as you have noticed i lost all respect... i ain't forcing it btw. It's just that it was too much... people just can't handle that bullshit for that long
Now i wanna see wwe start falling in worst ways after i stopped talking about it and giving ideas ahahaha nothing that comes out of their heads work only my ideas did... nevee payed for any of it!!! Imagine how insoiring that is from a billion dollar company and stars that have so much money and shit...most be easy to be rich in america since my ideas are the only ones that bang over there but they still be showing off their richness like if they was the inventors of butter lol
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Yah like artists ain't even known nowadays whic is crazy. You ask on the streets who this or that are and nobody knows.
Hell even i'm more known than half of your roster apparently
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Yess the thoughts yall put in my head duhhh honestly i feel like killing every american i evee encounter again because they are another level of messed up
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Read my page... who is blaming others??people are shocked your lack od sense. You killed BABIES THIS YEAR BABIES!!!
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Them still thi ming they are right and have something to teacch. What a bunch of deepshits... i will always be the crazy one or the one that has to learn something althought their industry is failling their country is crumbling and you already took a lot of shit from my profile huh? Dunno if you have something to teach me yall... taking into acccount i speak with god everyday and he literally told me yall deslusional and going to hell... so boa sorte know it all
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eeunoia · 3 years
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ENHYPEN Mini Series
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E N H Y P E N as Campus Heart-throbs
pairings: yang jungwon x reader
summary: yang jungwon, the class president encountered someone with a free soul. he was totally interested by you and always find you amusing, to his surprise, you were so much more behind those rude attitude of you.
word count: 4.7k
note📎: this was supposed to be out yesterday for wonie’s bday but i’m an idiot so here it is! kkkk anyway, it’s shorter than i expected but i still hope you like it. I hope you guys liked it! it really means a lot to me whenever you let me know what you think about them, re-blogs and comments are well appreciated. btw, i love you guys and thank you for reading my works. have a nice day/night! 🤍
tag list: @jakeysim​ @kpoppinandlockin​ @en-sun​ 
© 2021 eeunoia — all rights reserved.
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Yang Jungwon
Class 1 - A - “The Class Representative”
It was just a normal boring day at school, you were silently looking out through the window of your classroom, waiting for the next teacher to enter the class. When suddenly, you jolted as somebody just hardly smacked both of his hands at your table, causing a loud sound to arouse. With speed, you turned your head towards the culprit and your face quickly turn salty.
“Yah! You startled me Yang Jungwon!” your voice raised because of annoyance.
Instead of getting scared from your tone, the corner of his lips lifted showing off his dimples at you. Its an irritating sight for you even more. He got this smug expression plastered over his face.
“Detention later after class, y/n.” your brows furrowed with what you just heard. His eyes were looking straight to yours. Both eyebrows calmly in a straight line and his eyes looking a bit lazy.
You gulped trying hard not to get attracted by him. He’s annoying, that’s for sure! but you also can’t deny Jungwon’s beauty.
“What do you mean? I just had detention yesterday and I’m not late today!” you complained at him. He stood straight leaning away from your table as you slowly look up at him because he’s tall.
As his hand went inside his pocket, he smirked at you and one of his eyebrow raised.
“Yeah and you snuck out pretty early so that means you didn’t complete your detention.” and he even shrugged his shoulders at you.
You pursed your lips as you looked away from him. Well, you’re guilty. You thought detention’s boring yesterday so you just snuck out and went home.
“Whatever, I finished mine so I won’t go later.” you mumbled under your breath as you rested your back over your chair.
He stood still for a moment and to your surprise, Jungwon walked around your table and you refused to look at him. Then you almost shrieked when you felt your chair moved as he suddenly stood in front of you.
With a flushed expression you stared at him completely surprised at what he just did. He got you caged at your place, making sure you have nowhere else to go. He leaned towards you with a smirk over his face.
“Don't make me drag you later.” he whispered over your ears. Chills ran down over your spine as his voice softly echoes inside your head.
He stood back up and casually walk towards his seat like as if he didn’t just pulled off that stunt. As your eyes unconsciously roam around the room while you're trying to compose yourself and fix your chair, you saw multiple eyes were watching you.
You tried breathing out to calm yourself as you raise your brows at them and gave them your ‘What are you looking at’ face. It seems like it works because they did stopped staring.
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As the bell rings indicating that the classes were finally done, you stood up almost fast enough than everybody else to try and avoid detention. You were planning to ditch it because one, you don’t want to spend two hours sitting inside a room filled with boring people and two, you want to go home early today.
With eyes slightly checking around, you walked faster towards the back gate of your school. You thought it would be too obvious if you go through the main gate so you came up with the brilliant idea of exiting here.
As you can almost see freedom, a smile lights up over your face. Just after three more after you made it out of your school, a hand startled you by a sudden grip over at your arm.
“Where do you think are you going?” without even checking who it was, you knew it was Jungwon. It’s got to be him. Nobody owns that kind of annoying voice, other than your class president! Being the class representative, requires him to talk in front most of the time to lead the whole class so it made you familiarize with his voice.
You turn your head over at his direction after rolling your eyes and you were right. There, behind you was Yang Jungwon, standing confidently, wearing his school uniform neatly.
“What are you doing here, Yang? Where is Choi? Isn’t he the one who supposed to be looking after me?” you tried to change the topic.
You saw how his eyes looked at you with blank expressions but the corner of his lips lifted up like an insult. Your blood boils as you saw those dimple of him appears right in front of you.
“From now on, you’re under my watch, y/n. You’re mine now.” he said as he put one of his hand inside his pocket as the other one tightens its grip around your arm making sure you have no escape from him.
With an unknown reason, you felt your cheeks heated up as his words wonder inside your head over and over again. You shut your eyes and gulped trying to make it less obvious. The last thing you would want is him teasing you.
“Can you let go of me?” you pointed out sounding so pissed.
Jungwon tilted his head as he stared over you. His mouth pursed as his brows creased. “I don’t think so. I feel like the moment I let go of you, you’ll ran away from me.”
Even before you can respond, he turned around and started dragging you back inside the campus. You bit your lower lip as you tried hard to keep still but it seems like for him, you weight is like a feather because he just kept on pulling you.
“Jungwon! Stop dragging me!”
He didn’t even spare you a glance and just kept on dragging you. You groaned in annoyance and still kept trying your luck of freeing yourself from him.
“I told you, don’t make me drag you but you chose this path, Ma’am.” you can hear teasing lure over his voice that annoyed you even more. Like as if he's declaring that he won and now he’s bragging it over at you.
You noticed the heads that automatically turn over at you once you pass by them. Their stares remain right after they saw that Jungwon was the one dragging you. It was a unique scene because it’s a rare moment they have seen Jungwon interact over a girl like this.
Actually, it’s just a normal situation. A student, pulling another student to go in detention. But everyone’s making it such a big deal because it’s Yang Jungwon!
“Hi, Jungwon!” and yeah, a girl finally approached him. He turned over her for a while and smiled.
“Hello.” he politely answered.
The girl blushed by his response and you find it annoying. How can she blush by just a mere hello? Is that how Jungwon affects almost every girl in your batch?
“Are you free later after class?” she then asked bravely. You looked away and just let Jungwon pull you. You gave up getting away.
“Uh, busy.” he shortly replied. You made face. Yeah! Of course he’ll be busy. Being the class representative of your whole batch, it’s impossible for him not to be busy.
As you near the detention, you can still see a lot of eyes watching both of you. It gets into your nerves and you blamed it all to Jungwon! You wouldn’t be in this situation if it weren’t him that pulling you.
Instead of feeling embarrassed, you feel annoyed by their eyes so you shoot everyone glares. Some of them looked away but a lot just kept on looking.
“What? Is it the first time you saw two people in the hallway?” and you even raised an eyebrow at them.
It irritates you how other people just can’t mind their own business. Why they always wants to know what’s going on with other people’s life. I mean, they have a life of their own, why not live it and stop meddling with things that doesn’t concern them.
Jungwon saw how you just talked back over those students and he can’t help but to feel amuse. You were always interesting for him. The way you’re a free soul. You're brave and not really afraid to voice out your opinions.
He chuckled once as he softly wrapped his arms around your shoulder to pull you inside detention. He roamed his eyes over the students and he saw how they looked surprise of his actions.
“Calm down, tiger. Get inside first.” he said as he guides you inside. You once again felt this uncomfortable thing over your stomach so you quickly went away from his hold and walked yourself at a chair.
As expected, the detention is filled with boring people. You rolled your eyes and quietly sat down over at the corner. Some of the students were mainly here because of Jungwon! You sighed heavily and calmed yourself.
People in your school knows you as someone who’s hard to deal with. You often don’t get along well with the other students. It’s just you’re straightforward and doesn’t really have time filtering your words. You offend most of them.
You sighed and bit your lower lip. It's not that you don’t want to be friends with anyone, it’s just you don’t know if someone can understand you. You find it hard to open up to other people. You're afraid of letting new people in your life.
You just don’t know how to express yourself in a way you won’t offend anyone.
“You can try to go to school early tomorrow so you won’t be here again.” Jungwon said as you walk your way out of detention.
You didn’t respond or even look at him and just walk off. Instead of feeling offended, Jungwon smirked and crossed his arms as he watched your figure slowly disappear form his sight. You never fails to amuse him with your attitude.
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“Shit. Shit. Shit.” you muttered low curses as you try and hurry yourself out of your apartment.
You overslept and now you’re running late once again. You really don’t want to be late again because now that Jungwon will be the one to look over you at detentions, that wouldn’t be so good.
“Made it!” you said as you enter your class. Some of your classmates looked over your direction with confused looks.
The vice president looked at you and shake her head. With a furrow brows you walked straight to her.
“You’re late.” she said obviously trying to look like she’s not scared of you.
With shooting glares, you starred right at the wall clock at the center of the room, “Come on! It’s just a minute.” you complained at her.
She raised her eyebrow at you. “Still late, Y/n.”
You tilted your head over to the side feeling pissed. With a click of your tongue at the side of your cheeks you tried to walk closer to her. She looked at you with horror over her face.
“What’s going on here?” you halted from your plan as you hear his voice.
You rolled your eyes as you looked over the entrance of your room. There he is, Jungwon holding some notebooks over his hands. Looks like he just came back from the faculty. His eyes trailed over the vice president and then it caught you.
“Jungwon! Y/n’s being arrogant. She’s late again and she’s complaining.” your head snaps towards her. You let out a sigh and finally, it got you. She was obviously trying to get back at you!
You forgot how almost every girl in your class have a crush over Jungwon.
“If you’re late, you’re late.” Jungwon stated that made you look at him. He’s placing the notebook over the teachers table.
With a blank face, you rolled your eyes and looked back over the vice president. Since she decided to ruin your morning, why not do her some favor?
You tried to pull off the sweetest smile you can ever do as you teasingly said, “Oh okay! Yeah, I would love to be in detention.” you started and even leaned closer to her as your smile gets bigger.
“In that way, I can spend more time with Jungwonie.” and after finishing it with a playful wink, you leaned back.
You stuck out your tongue as you turned around hardly and marched your way to your table. The class was silent but you care less. They can talk about you all they want, like as if you care about them.
On the other hand, Jungwon’s mind was light. Your words got stuck over his head after you said them. It was like a broken player that played over and over again. His ears turned into a light shade of red as he remembers the nickname you just said.
“Are you okay, Jungwon?” his seatmate asked him. He blinked as he glanced at him then gave him a nod.
You were obviously not in the mood when the first two class was over. The detention after class pisses you off but now, something just added fuel to the fire. Algebra just finished and your teacher announced your scores. Yours was not that good.
“Jungwon! You got the highest score again in math!” one of your classmate happily shrieked. You rolled your eyes as you silently watch them.
Jungwon looked over her and just smiled. His dimples showed and you got irritated. How can he be the highest when you have bad scores? How can he be good at math too? This is unfair!
“Uh, can you like teach me math after school?” the girl suddenly said. You scoffed and looked away. Of course they’ll do whatever it takes just to take their shot to him.
You heard Jungwon politely said no. “I’ve got things to do, sorry.” you didn’t look over their way but you rolled your eyes once again. You also hate how he’s nice to everybody. Like, okay, yes, he’s the class president. But some of your classmates just take advantage of him. He’s such an idiot.
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“Y/n! You have detention today.” you didn’t respond to your class vice president and just continued walking your way outside.
But your steps halted when Jungwon went in front of you. With a blank looking eyes, he stared at you then smirked. Here he goes again with that smirks.
“Detention, bunny.” he said like as if he’s reminding you. After letting out a sigh and after you roll your eyes you looked at him too, cheeks slowly flushing because of the nickname he called you.
“I know. I’m going there now.”
You didn’t even wait for him but you walk towards detention. There’s no point in sneaking out. Obviously, Jungwon won’t let you go. He’s known for being strict so he won’t let you pass detention.
As you made your way inside, your brows furrowed at the sight of a familiar face inside. Jungwon silently followed just behind you.
“What are you doing here, Nishimura?” you asked as you lightly tapped his head.
He raised his head at you and smiled a little. Ni-ki’s your classmate and maybe the only one who’s a little close to you. Well, he doesn’t meddle mostly and he doesn’t obviously get offended by you easily.
“I was late too.” he explained and you just gave him a nod before you sat down at the vacant seat beside him.
Jungwon watched behind you with mixed emotion. He was amused and a bit... jealous? He never seen you interact like that with anyone, you were always rude.
“Why are you always late tho? Isn’t your place like 2 minutes away from school?” Ni-ki obviously doesn’t want to shut up. You glared at him and gestured him to shut up.
He chuckled getting entertained at your pissed face. Ni-ki knew about Jungwon’s feelings about you and he thinks you’re cool.
Jungwon stared the two of you with hawk-eye like eyes.
“Stop talking both of you.” he suddenly said that made you turn your heads towards him. He looked so serious while leaning towards the table and eyeing Ni-ki and you.
Ni-ki did a playful salute at him but he saw how Jungwon just ignored him. His eyes were completely fixed at y/n. Ni-ki let out a snickered laugh then shake his head in disbelief.
You stayed quiet. You’re not gonna lie, serious Jungwon was intimidating. You never saw him like that. He’s often smiling and showing off those dimples so the rare sight made you a bit, surprised.
As the detention finish, Ni-ki quickly stood up and bid goodbye to the two of you before he exits himself.
With a slow phase, you grabbed your bag and hang it over your shoulder. Jungwon’s still silently watching you. You felt a bit conscious. Detention’s always full, how come today it was just you and Ni-ki?
“Uh, I’ll go now.” you have no idea why you said that. You don’t even know why you inform him that you’ll go. You never did that before.
Feeling a bit stupid, you tried hurrying your steps but Jungwon was also fast enough to stop you.
“Wait, y/n.” with a gulp, you felt nervous. His voice sounded a bit unsure so you don’t know if you should turn and ask why or just walk away.
Jungwon sighed heavily as he walked in front of you so he can see your face.
“Do you want to study math?” he suddenly asked you, eyes looking a bit worried.
With both eyebrows raising you tilted your head in confusion. “You’re bragging about your score now?” you didn’t mean to say that. It’s just, that’s usually what you will blurt out.
Jungwon didn’t look like he mind what you just said. But instead he smirked and scoffed a bit.
“Yeah, because you suck at math.” and with that he turned his heels and started walking ahead of you.
You gasped at what he just told you. He’s now walking away both hands inside his pocket. With no time wasted, you tried and catch up with him.
“Stop being cocky with one score!” you don’t know but that just pisses you off even more. You usually don’t care if they surpass you. If they have good scores then good for them. But the way he just pointed out how you suck at math was insulting for you.
He looked over you by doing a side glance. He’s still smirking that’s why it gives you a view of his dimples.
“My scores were always higher than yours.” he plainly said with a smug looking face.
You glared at him and stopped walking for a while. He did stopped too and looked at you with a smirk over his face.
“Whatever!” and you hurriedly walk pass by him. You heard him laugh as he quickly followed behind you.
“Hey wait up! I’m gonna teach you!”
You didn’t wait for him. “I thought you got things to do! Stop following me.”
He chuckled, “Yeah I do and that is to teach you!” you blushed as he finally catch up with you.
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Days passed by pretty much like a blur. Jungwon never gave you a day off of not being annoyed. He always make sure you’ll be annoyed everyday.
“What do you want?” you were already glaring at him as you saw him place his things at the table you were currently occupying.
It was your library period so you decided to do some reading and chose the table at the far left corner. You obviously don’t want to share table with anyone but here he is, wearing his usual smirk.
“Joining you.” he answered casually and started flipping through his books.
You saw how some of your classmates eyed both of you. They noticed the drastically sudden closeness between you and Jungwon. A lot envied you, of course, and they even sometimes send you weird stares. You don’t mind since you don’t care about them. And besides, Jungwon’s actually fun to be with, sometimes.
Both of you were silently reading your books when you felt your phone vibrating. It means somebody is calling you. With both brows creasing in confusion, you picked it up.
“Hello?”
Jungwon looked over your direction as he heard you. He saw how your face turned blank for a second but quick enough to switch into a worried face.
He panicked, he didn’t know what’s going on.
“W-What? I’m coming!” your voice were obviously in panic. You stood up and Jungwon did the same thing. You didn’t pay attention to it as you ran your way outside the library.
Jungwon followed you behind calling out for you. At the sight of somebody patrolling over at the gate of your school, your shoulder fell. You realized you’re not getting out from here any time soon.
Jungwon arrived beside you as he gently placed both of his hands over your shoulder to make you face him. His face looked so worried as he leaned a bit downward to reach your eye level.
“What’s up? What’s going on?” he asked you.
Your eyes darted over him as you slowly pouted your lips and your eyes suddenly got filled with tears. It was a very rare sight for him. This is actually the first time he saw you like this.
“M-My grandmother is in the hospital right now.” tears fell down over your face. Jungwon's in front of you but you don’t care if he makes fun of you after this. All you can think about right now is your grandmother.
Jungwon gulped as he quickly panic inside his head. You looked so fragile in front of him so he can’t help but to be worried for you. He suddenly pulled you into a hug.
“Shh, stop crying. I’ll help you get out.” he suggested. Your eyes grew big at what he just said.
“B-But you'll get in trouble.” you’re not gonna lie, you felt close to him and him getting in trouble because of you doesn’t sound so good.
You saw how he smiled softly showing off his dimples. He gently caress your hair and wiped off those tears over your face. You pouted, suddenly those smiles and that dimple doesn’t seem annoying anymore. In some way, it became comforting.
“Come on, I know where you can get out.” he said and gently pulled you towards somewhere.
“Are you sure?” you asked once again as you looked over him while he’s helping you get out.
He smiled and nodded his head at you.
“I’m sure. Text me which hospital so I can take your things after class.” he said after he helped you get out in the other side.
You nodded your head as he smiled and raised a thumbs up before he motioned you to go now.
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“How is she?” it was the first thing he asked as he place your things over a couch inside the hospital. You smiled while sitting beside your grandmother that is sleeping right now.
Jungwon walked closer and placed some fruits beside the table. “She’s okay now.” your eyes trailed from him down to the things he bought.
“You don’t have to bring fruits.” you blushed.
“Of course I do. It’s healthy so make sure your grandmother eat these and not you, okay?” you glared at what you heard from him. Did he actually thought you’ll eat the fruits?
“Of course!” you sounded defensive that made Jungwon chuckle as he messed your hair.
“So, is your Mom on her way?” he asked innocently. You looked away, now staring over your sleeping grandmother.
"She’s probably busy with work.” Jungwon eyed you.
“How about your Dad?” he asked.
You clenched your jaw. He didn’t know, y/n. You tried calming yourself. Jungwon was just innocently asking you.
“He left us.”
Jungwon suddenly eyed you, feeling completely sorry about it. He thought he messed up by bringing that up. He probably shouldn’t just asked about it.
“O-Oh, i’m sorry about that.”
“Nah, it’s okay.”
Both of you were left silent after that. You slowly looked at him, "Thank you for helping me.” with full sincerity, you said those to him.
He pursed his lips and smiled right after. “You’re always welcome, bun.” and surprisingly he did a wink at you.
To hide your blushing face, you gave him a blank face, “You call that a wink?” you tried teasing him.
He furrowed his brows, “you’re suppose to find that hot, y/n.” with that, you burst out laughing.
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“Huh? Why is Jungwon here? The class presidents were called out for a meeting right?” you whispered over your desk-mate, Ni-ki. You are now at the library and you’re pretty sure the presidents were called a while ago.
He looked at you with confused eyes then eyed Jungwon once.
“You didn’t know?” Ni-ki asked you. Your brows furrowed.
“Know what?”
Ni-ki smirked as he flipped through his textbook, “The teachers knew about him helping you get out of the campus. He got punished as well. He’s suspended from being the class president.”
You quickly stood up and went over to Jungwon. He was busy checking out books.
“Jungwon.” you called him out seriously.
He snapped his head over at you. He tried smiling at you but you remain looking at him seriously. You actually don’t know what to say to him. You feel bad for what happened. He was just trying to help.
“I’m sorry.” you muttered and lowered down your head, then started fiddling with your fingers.
Jungwon furrowed his brows in wonder. He was confused why your saying sorry to him. He walked closer to you, then he cupped your face making you face him.
“Hey, what are you saying sorry for?” he asked now looking very worried.
“You got suspended.” he was silent for a while before he smirked in front of you. It was unbelievable for him to react that way. He’s supposed to be sad about it but why is he smirking in front of you?
“So you’re worried for me now?” he teasingly asked you.
You blinked and pushed away his hands. He chuckled as you try to leave him between the aisles of books. He bit his lower lip trying to contain his smiles then grabbed your arm.
“Hey hey, we’re not yet done talking.” he said and held you tighter preventing you from stepping further away.
You pouted and slightly looked sharply at him. “Here I am worrying for you and you’re just teasing me about it.”
He chuckled looking at you with amused eyes, “So you are worried!” he sound so happy about it.
“How come you still look okay when you’re suspended because of me. For how long anyway?”
“Just for 1 week.”
Your eyes grew big, “1 week? I have like just four days of punishment. Why do you have a whole week?”
He smiled, softly brushing away some strands of hair away from your face. You felt your face heated up but you didn’t complain. His touch were soft and always gentle.
“I was the reason you made it out.”
“I’m sorry. Did you get in a lot of trouble because of me?” you can’t even distinguish your own voice. It sounded soft and it just makes Jungwon go crazy. You realize you were opening up for Jungwon without you even realizing it.
He smirked, “I did, my Mom scolded me a lot the moment he heard about what happened. She said that I should be a role model and that I should be taming students.” he muttered.
You bit your lower lip and smiled a little as you stare at him meaningfully.
“Well, you did tame one.” you said with a smirk over your lips.
Jungwon’s lips lifted up as he gently pushed you over the book shelf, caging you as he leaned down to you.
“I did?” he asked teasingly.
You smirked, “Yeah.”
He chuckled before slowly leaning closer to give you a kiss over your lips. As he gave you another one, you chuckled placing both of your hands over his chest to push him gently.
“Let’s stop before you get another violation.”
He scoffed and then he dropped another peck over your lips before he smirked at you.
“Yeah, I agree.”
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Heat Chapter 18: Risk
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Ah, another supersized chapter~! Here’s to hoping I did the drama justice in this one, especially since it’s been a long time coming. I think this chapter took the longest to finish. Read into that what you will, but please let me know if it was worth it 😅
If you’d like to be added to the tag list, please let me know~!
Pairing: Javier Peña x OFC | Javi x Querida
Disclaimer: Written in 2nd person narrative, you can safely assume our heroine and love/lust interest is a Latina, written by a Latina. Here's my philosophy on my writing, for further context.
Rating: Mature/Explicit 🔞
Word Count: 18,500+
Summary: With uncertainty remaining a constant menace, you and Javi weather the storm of being apart as the manhunt for Escobar grinds to a halt. You're both intent on making it work - looking forward to your romance evolving into more, but do the risks you both take only lead to inevitable heartbreak?
Warnings: Javier Peña being sexy is its own warning, graphic descriptions of sex, including explicit depictions of oral (f receiving) and unprotected sex. Mentions of cum play, risky behavior, semi-public sex, caught kink, emotional turmoil, grief, angst and possessive jealousy. Anxious!Javi, Possessive!Javi, Soft!Javi, Dom!Javi. In the vein of Narcos being a bilingual show, and Javier Peña being fluent, I felt it was apropos to include Spanglish and Spanish throughout.
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Chapter 18: Risk
After Javier had left, you had gotten ready for work, but even with how you'd both salvaged pulling back from going off the deep end with another explosive fight, your heart still feels a little heavy. After all, you do feel guilty for how you've strung Luke along and from how much it clearly upsets Javier. While your intentions had never involved getting in such a messy arrangement, you do see how it could appear to him as if you held him to a more impossible standard than you did with Luke's courtship.
You hadn't been lying though when you told him Luke wouldn't have even had a chance had Javier not kept pushing you away. Hell, even when you were with Luke, you could only think of Javier.
Getting ready quickly for the day, you can't help go on autopilot in order to continue your rumination. By the time you get to work and go through the day, you are feeling the pangs of loneliness ebb, because you're looking forward to the next time you can see Javier rather than wallow in the sadness of being parted from each other. The pining thought is a little flame you try to keep lit in the tempest of other nagging thoughts – like how long you're willing to go without Javi, when you'll be able to completely friend zone Luke, and how you'll be able to keep it all private without feeling like a loon. Your stubborn focus helps you, but you only keep your wits about you because it's a busy day of running from meeting to meeting.
When you stifle a yawn with the back of your hand and stretch in your desk chair at the end of the workday, you wonder if it would be too needy to call Javi. It is the end of the day, and he was fine with your landline theory, so it wouldn't be too disruptive—
"Hey, you need a ride to happy hour?" Ellis chirps, derailing your train of thought.
Ugh, that's right, you think to yourself, chiding yourself for having forgotten, seeing as the mention of happy hour is the reason that set off the chain reaction of your fight with Javi this morning.
"Nah, I'll drive myself. I only plan on having a 2-drink maximum tonight," you answer musingly as you collect your things while you initiate the laptops secure shutdown. "I don't know about you, but I am eager to catch up on sleep this weekend," is your sardonic sigh as you get up and go to grab your chic, lightly-lined tan trench coat from the coatrack tucked in your shared corner.
"Yeah, I don't blame yah. This week's been a bit of a gauntlet," he yawns noisily and shrugs into his own jacket before waiting for you to collect your purse and tote once the laptop is locked up in your drawer. "Although, I'm sure the fellas will cajole us to stay late," Ellis remarks as you both walk down to the hall and head to the elevators.
"Oh, that's right. The boys are back in town," you snicker, hiding your apprehension at potentially being put in an awkward spot with Luke.
Snorting, Ellis nods. You ride the elevator down to the underground parking, and he accompanies you to your car before sprinting off to his own with a, "I'll save yah a spot at the bar!"
"I'm not a slow driver – just a safe driver, gringo!" you shout jokingly back, and Ellis answers with a silly scoff before getting in his car.
A short while later, you're parked and hustling up the brick-façade entryway of the bar and taking the tiled steps until you come into the wood-panel-walled bar with the warm, lacquered bar top. The recall of Javi needing to be restrained by Steve to not clobber Danvers himself flashes in your mind's eye as you pass that section of the bar to waltz over to where Ellis was animatedly joking with Nador and Samson, all while Lou was tucked into the interior of the bar with his satellite phone at his ear, looking unpleased.
When Luke sees you, his expression is warm, hazel eyes twinkling as they crest from his bright smile. You feel the pang of guilt and train your expression into a civil regard, cool and affable as you greet the guys, then turn to Nador and ask how Benson's doing.
"—Pfft, he's bitchin' like he's on the rag—sorry," he corrects and bashfully rubs the back of his neck. "Losin' my manners being cooped up with a bunch of dudes for so long."
You chuckle and joke, "Well, I could give you a couple of tampons to pass on to the poor fella."
Nador almost does a spit-take of his beer while Ellis shakes his head at you and Luke just grins.
Seeing a couple of familiar faces from the administrative wing of the embassy at the back of the bar, you excuse yourself to go say hello – and yes, put some space between you and Luke for a bit. Once you've chitchatted enough with the ladies, you saunter back to the bar. When the bartender approaches, you ask for your signature drink, and the older man salutes you, as if to say, 'already on it,' while Luke takes the chance to stride over to you and lean into the bar top next to you with his glass of scotch in his hand.
Before he can charm you with something as flirty to go with the look in his eyes, you pivot to gesture to where Lou's at and ask, "Some trouble?"
"Nah. He's just talking to the CIA station chief. The colonel doesn't really like him," Luke answers, and when your drink is delivered, he waits until you've had a sip of it and the other men are in affable conversation to purr his whisper of, "You're a sight for sore eyes."
The recall is like ice being poured down your spine, winding you up and making it impossible not to think of Javier.
"What a line," you try to deadpan platonically, and then deflect with, "Are you going to be traveling to other field offices? I heard the Cartagena and Barranquilla ones are up and running."
He eyes you keenly, reading your unspoken demureness. "Maybe, but nothing official yet. Really, everything feels like it's in limbo until Escobar is taken down. Just gotta play the wait game," he remarks in his tenor drawl and amiably shrugs his shoulders.
"Yeah, I'm hoping once the mania over that man dissipates, things will calm down and the ambassador will let us get back to the pilot," you muse and sip your drink, debating whether you should pull him to the side and have the talk now, or just wait until that dinner he asked you out for.
"Well, if that happens, it's looking like I'll be your prime student again," he charmingly retorts and leans a little closer in order to confide, "Maybe you can tutor me again tonight. I promise to take my time—"
You flush under his debonair gaze and quirked brows, cutting in tensely, "Luke, I—"
"Hey! What're my two favorite lovebirds doing?!"
Col. Lou suddenly banters and claps a hand on your shoulder and the other on Luke's. "Catching up and canoodling, finally?" the head of Mil Group brashly states as he starts to razz Luke with a shake of the shoulder. "So glad you finally gave this boy scout a chance, missy."
The look you must be giving Luke? Murderous rancor? Seething outrage? You're not sure, because your countenance is burning with shame, feeling completely scandalized that seemingly everyone, including his boss knew about your tryst. The way Luke is staring at you like a deer in the headlights tells you all you need to know, so once Lou pats the man on the back and signals the bartender for a refill, you swiftly turn away.
Your hand is shaking with your fury as you dig into your wallet to pay for your drink, and with as much control as you can muster, you see the other fellas are looking over in that not-so-covert way, so you give Ellis the 'I'm outta here!' look and stalk out to exit the bar. You concentrate on swiveling through the Friday night crowd, eager to disappear from sight, and when the night air hits your face, you still feel the appalled heat singe your cheeks.
Irate, you feel your vision bleeding at the edges with your livid anger, deafened by your blood roaring in your ears and throbbing at your temples as you storm to your car. You dig into your purse for the keys and quickly unlock it, scowl tight on your features as you silently berate yourself.
"—W-Wait!" You turn and realize Luke's been calling out to you and has now jogged over to your car. "I'm sorry—I didn't tell him anything, I swear—!" he begins when you yank your car door open and throw your purse in.
"I asked one thing. But of course, how could I expect a guy from a venerable boy's club like Mil Group not to swap tawdry stories with his mates and talk shit about me," you snap ardently and level Luke with a withering glare as you add, "I hope you enjoyed giving them the torrid details, because that's all you're getting. I never want you to speak to me outside of professional matters ever again. You got that, Samson?"
"C'mon, firecracker, it's not like that—" Luke bewilderingly exclaims and tries to stop you, but you're in your car, and with a flick of your wrist, you start the engine and shift gears to pull out of the spot on the side street adjacent the bar and haul ass out of the sector to drive to your side of town.
You hazard a glance at your rearview, and see Luke standing in the spot on the sidewalk and watching you go. The frustrating dejection you feel fuels you to make it home, park, stalk up the steps to your apartment, and rush in, slamming the door and locking it with a furious huff. Slapping your purse and keys down onto the side table tucked against the wall, you storm into the kitchen to fix yourself a stiff drink. After all, you hadn't even gotten to finish your Cuba libre, and you needed something to mellow you the fuck down.
Once you've huddled into your couch and have swigged the beverage in a few swallows, the shame of it all sets in.
For the life of you, the idea that Luke Samson would spill to his colleagues and boss about your hookups like a damned fratboy at a kegger leaves you astounded. You slept with him twice, and he couldn't keep it private?
Javi had never told another soul about you two – not until inevitably he was forced to disclose it in order to get you out of a potentially dangerous situation at El Coyote, and after when he had to answer to Carrillo and Steve. Of the two men, just based off of first impressions, you'd been sure that the one to worry about was Javi. His reputation of course preceded him – a notorious lothario throughout the embassy ranks. But, here you are, feeling jilted by your own assumptions.
"Well…at least I don't have to worry about leading 'em on anymore," you remark flatly to the empty room as you finish your drink with a rueful shake of your head before getting up to pour yourself another even stiffer beverage.
Meanwhile, Javier is sitting at his desk in the now-quiet bullpen across from the tip line, pouring over the surveillance logs in preparation for the sweeps he and Steve were gonna ride along on the following day. After a few minutes, he tiredly rubs at his eyes and glances at the phone on the desk. His partner had given up for the night and gone up to their dorm, planning on catching some needed shuteye before the early wakeup call.
Looking at his watch, he figures you should've been back from happy hour by now, so he reaches for the phone and adjusts it so he has more slack in the cord while he dials and simultaneously digs in his bottom drawer for his stash of whiskey.
Just as he plops the bottle onto the top of the desk, the ringing of the line ceases as the phone gets picked up.
"Yeah?" your voice is spiced with an undercurrent – has an edge to it that Javi can't help arch a brow at and pause in pouring himself a glass of whiskey.
"Hello to you, too," he chuckles sardonically. "Is everything alright?"
He hears you huff in relief. "Sorry. I thought it was Ellis calling," you meekly reply. "Everything is…fine. Just a very weird night, is all."
He grunts and sits back in his chair. "Must be if you're pissed at Ellis," he muses before taking a pull of the amber liquid in his glass.
"'M'not mad at him…" you grumble, and Javi finally discerns the slight slur in your words. "Anyway, what're you doing at your desk so late?"
"Not tired yet," he answers simply before emptying the glass with a quick swallow and reclining on the desk on a bent elbow, phone cradled to his ear. With a drawn out exhale, he mutters, "Can't stop thinking about you."
Your chuckle is sultry, almost velvety as it warms his blood. "I've been having the same affliction," you purr amusedly, and he hears the subtle shift of something, as if you're stretching out into pillows. "Miss you, chulo," is your sigh, and he hears you snapping buttons, so he pictures you wearing one of your blouses with the clasp buttons he likes. Before he can get lost on the fantasy of you yanking your blouse open and revealing your bare, supple breasts to him, you chime, "Is it bad I already want to bug you about when you're coming back to town?"
He smirks, pivoting to rest his cheek against his free hand. Smugly, he mutters, "No, because I know how insatiable you are—"
"Hah! Mira quien habla. Te crees Mr. Swagger de verdad over there, eh?" you drawl, and he guesses that the rum is already cruising in your bloodstream and making you wry and flirty. He pictures you with a silly smile quirking your plush lips whilst you lay sprawled out on your bed. "Sure, fine, it might be true, but no need to act like a papisongo about it—"
"You sound so cute when you're drunk," Javi cuts in glibly, humorously trailing his thumb over his moustache before biting his lip when you scoff in sassy outrage at him. "Papisongo, huh—"
"I am not drunk!" you snootily slur – pointedly ignoring his last comment, earning a goading chuckle from Javi. "I'm just a little tipsy," is your haughty muse that gets interrupted by a stifled hiccup.
Javier can't help grin, eyes crinkling with mirth. "Whatever you say, querida," he purrs before shifting the conversation by inquiring, "What made tonight a weird night?"
There's a pause before you dramatically sigh, and now he hears you rolling into your pillows sulkily. "I can't tell you because you'll gloat and then get mad and be a macho jerk about it," you grumble and hiccup again.
Javi's mirth sobers and he adjusts the phone to his shoulder so he can cross his arms and sit back in his chair. "That seems like quite a spectrum of reactions, cariño," he laconically mutters, adding softly, "I promise I won't get mad."
You go silent, seemingly weighing the pros and cons, before sighing ambivalently. "I know you well enough to know you won't be able to keep that promise," you murmur pensively. "Besides, it's done and dusted. No point to belabor it," is your mutter, and Javi focuses on what you're not saying.
He suspects that something must've happened at happy hour, and considering your fight from this morning, he had a decent idea that it involves—
"So…what're you wearing, papisongo?"
Train of thought tipping off the track at that, Javi has to stifle his bark of laughter. "I thought you were opposed to any endearment that includes parental connotations," he jibes warmly and adjusts the phone back into his hand so he can sit up to reach his cigarettes.
"I do, but papisongo is not grounded in the same cringe-worthy energy as saying papi/papito/daddy," you rationalize before teasing, "But I ain't gonna call you that in bed, so don't get any ideas—"
Javi lights his cigarette and takes a drag before pursing his lips and cutting in with, "Only in bed?"
"Bien gracioso. You know what I mean, chavón," you snicker. When he hums acerbically, you suddenly purr in an alluring tone, "Keep it up, and I might have to punish you for your birthday."
"Yeah right—wait…" Javi's smug retort reels back when he realizes what you said. He hadn't told you when his birthday was, no matter how much you'd tried needling it out of him. "…Querida, I don't want you doing anything—"
"Pfft, you can't command me not to do anything for your birthday, Javier. But if you're gonna be that way, I just won't tell you," you tauntingly lilt.
He scowls. After all, he didn't like celebrating anything revolving around him as the 'special occasion' – hated having the attention on him, having to grit and bear it while pleasantries were showered over him. It felt unearned and vexed him so. Not to mention the literal reminder of his age – and how he feels old enough already, has him sulking at the prospect. However, he doesn't voice any of this as he instead grunts, "It get announced or something?"
"Nope. I have my ways of getting info," you chuckle glibly. "However, if you're in-town for your birthday, I'll let you do whatever you want…let you have whatever you want…"
The smoky, silky murmur has heat pooling in his apex. "Atrevida, go to bed and quit teasing me so," he husks, taking a long drag of his cigarette before stubbing it out in the ashtray and grousing, "Already bad enough I can't do anything about it right now. Don't need to be wound up all night."
"I'm sorry, hermoso. I'll make it up to you soon," you softly retort, earning a crooked smile from Javi. "Te amo."
Ruggedly, he drawls, "I know," and when you scoff in drunken indignation, he purrs, "Love you too, corazón. I'll call you this weekend. Sweet dreams until then."
Melting on your end of the line, you drape your forearm over your eyes and wriggle in the bed, breathily sighing, "Goodnight," to which Javi hums in return before you both hang up.
Yep, he was going to try and avoid spending his birthday with you. The way he would deflect or rebuff the topic previously had made you curious. So, when you'd had a chance to take a sweep of DEA resource's files for candidates to become "essential embassy personnel" a few weeks ago, you'd finally gotten a peek at Javier's jacket. It included a list of his skillsets, as well as his basic stats. Similarly to how Luke was designated such by Mil Group, you'd been allowed to assess potential candidates across agencies who could serve as trainees for the pilot program. In your giddy snooping, you learned he had a middle initial, but alas, it didn't disclose what the F in Javier F. Peña stood for, but the file did list his birthday, so you'd memorized it and feigned like unfortunately, the gallant DEA agent wouldn't get the clearance before handing the file back to the deputy HR manager.
It's unfortunate that the special day fell in the middle of this ongoing limbo of a manhunt for Escobar, but you hoped now that you'd let him know you knew his birthday was coming up, he'd relent and come spend it with you. You get your chance to test your theory a week later, when according to your calendar, you can count down on one hand the time between you and the date. So, after you come home from working late and call Javi, you hope he'll give you good news.
"—I am going stir-crazy, just sitting around. We all are," he's venting in a grumbly rasp, and you can hear him exhale the smoke of his cigarette before he drones, "The waiting is much worse than I could've expected…"
Pursing your lips, you attempt, "Well, would Messina be opposed to letting you guys come back for a few days?"
"Yeah fucking right. She's got us literally sending daily status memos because she wants us here in case any break comes up," he mutters, and you hear the clink of his glass as the rim of the whiskey bottle kisses it while he pours himself a refill. He pauses to take a sip before huffing, "I know what you're doing, you know."
"¿Ah, sí?"you lilt, then singsong, "And what, pray tell, am I doing, gal��n."
He hums knowingly before you hear him shift in his desk chair. "Listen, preciosa, I know you want to make a big deal out of it, but it's just not my thing. I…I'm not a fan of celebrating my birthday. Never have been," he muses in a gravelly tone.
"Oh, so when you were a little chulito, you didn't like celebrating it either?" you counter playfully.
"I mean, sure, but that's hardly the same as celebrating when you're a grown-ass man," he chuckles, and you grunt amusedly. "Sorry, querida. Unless something breaks or we're running down leads that require us to head back to the capital, we're stuck twiddling our thumbs here until Escobar goes down,"Javi remarks, dashing your hopes.
You sigh as you burrow under your blankets more and pout. "Of course, you have to use an international manhunt as an excuse to be a spoiled sport," you huff sardonically, and Javi snickers over the line. Stifling a yawn, you murmur, "So…what does the F. stand for?"
Confused silence greets you for a beat until he grunts an impressed sound. "You got into my file. That's how you know the date," he deduces, and you can't help grin when he grumbles, "Should've figured a clever girl like you had her ways…"
"So?" you press flirtatiously. "What's it stand for? Javier Foxy Peña?" is your impish chime.
Javier scoffs laconically. "You are incorrigible," he grouses, but you can hear the smile in his voice. "Felipe."
You smile and sit up against the headboard, pulling your knees up to your chest to girlishly preen, "Javier Felipe Peña. Sounds like quite a respectable gentleman—"
"Trust me, he's an asshole most days," he jokes sarcastically, and you giggle. "Speaking of which, I gotta go. Didn't realize how late it is. The cleaning ladies are giving me weird looks…"
You snicker at the mental image and hum in agreement about it being late, seeing as you're already in your oversized t-shirt of a pajama and under the covers, with his college shirt tucked against the pillow next to you. "Alright, Felipito," you chirp, and he groans huffily at that, so you grin and purr, "Be sure to have only chaste dreams, mi amor. Goodnight."
"Pfft, fat chance of that happening, atrevida. But you go ahead and sleep tight and dream pure filth for me, will yah?" he murmurs in that canela-spiced tone of his that scintillates down into you core. "Goodnight."
Once you've hung up, you set the phone aside and just sigh like a fawning teenager, enamored and aflutter for the man that's just too damned far away right now. You're so smitten, pining over Javier and thinking of ways to gift him something for his birthday that when you're at work the following day, you're completely distracted in your machinations as you sprint up the steps to the embassy's entrance. Before you can juggle your coffee cup and tote in order to reach for your badge on your purse, someone calls your name, so you half spin and pause.
Your eyes narrow despite yourself when you see Luke approaching you. "Yes, Samson?" you curtly address him, training your features into cold marble, even though your eyes are boring into him like daggers.
The look on the hazel-eyed man's face is that of someone approaching the firing squad, rescind to his fate. You haven't seen him since the last happy hour you went to, having deliberately stopped going to the weekly ritual. And while you'd seen him at work, you'd purposely given him the cold shoulder and turned your gaze from him every time your eyes would connect.
"May I speak with you?" Luke plays along in the civil exchange and gestures with a hand towards an alcove beyond the lobby before security. "This won't take more than a minute."
Scrutinizing him sharply, you tip your head, as if to say, 'alright, fine,' and lope over to the bench-lined area bracketed by potted topiaries. Setting your tote and coffee cup down on a free bench, you glance around – making sure no one else is sitting within earshot so you can mutter, "How may I help you—"
"I'm sorry."
You stare him down, even though you're not in your heels and he's much taller than you. "That's not necessary, but if that's everything? I must excuse myself," you go to collect your things.
"Please, just…hear me out," he whispers, and you exhale, leveling him with a stultifying look. "I did respect your wishes. But…it seems Lou saw us leave the ambassador's Christmas party together, and made a lot of conclusions. However, I understand how compromising it can be, so I wanted to apologize for not being more mindful," Luke explains in a measured tenor tone, eyes never leaving yours. "I will be nothing but professional from now on."
Absorbing that, you imperiously nod, shoulder your tote and collect your coffee in order to strut by him to go through security.
You have nothing else to say – no desire to retort or rebut anything. As far as you're concerned, you want nothing more than to put all of it behind you, literally and figuratively. So, you do, and even though you end up standing at the elevator banks waiting, only to end up riding up to your floor with Luke, who respectfully keeps his eyes to himself and a decent space between you and the other riders, you are miffed that he felt the need to speak to you.
But, he was smart to approach you at work, knowing you would never rip his throat out at the embassy, so when you get to your floor, you offer him an acknowledging nod and muse, "Have a nice day."
You're none the wiser when his eyes flicker to follow your strutting gait just as the elevator doors close.
Dealing with Ellis, though? There's no batting that dog with a bone away.
"—C'mon, you're still gonna hold it against him?! I didn't even know about you two, so clearly he kept it private," he's bugging you over lunch later in the day, and you have to glare at him when he blows a raspberry in frustration. "I don't see why you had to keep it super secret, even from me," he grumbles, pouting.
"Because I don't like airing my personal business," you snippily hiss. "Now, drop it. I've made up my mind."
"…You gotta live a little, kid. If you like someone, what's it matter what people might say? You're both grownups, completely consenting adults, and as long as you're happy, no one being a busybody should affect you," Ellis tells you, giving you a big brother smile as he adds, "And if the sex is good? Even more reason to keep having fun!"
You can't help purse your lips at that, trying so hard not to crack a smile. "Thanks for the pep talk, Rose. Now eat your disgusting Twinkie and shut up," you quip acerbically, earning a squinty-eyed comical sneer from the older man.
Ironically, what Ellis tells you sticks with you, even starts inspiring you, albeit to take his advice as it involves Javier, not Luke, but with your previous machinations in mind, you end up formulating an idea you know is the peak of pushing yourself out of your comfort zone.
Steve is chewing on the end of his pen as he distractedly looks over surveillance logs when the phone rings. Unseeingly, he reaches for it and answers, "Murphy."
"Agent Murphy. How're things?"
Steve perks up at your voice, smiling. "Hey, hun. Long time no chat. I'm doing just swell," he deadpans, "Just slowly slipping into madness over here. Jav's in a meeting upstairs; just missed him."
"Actually? I was hoping I could talk to you?" you pose tentatively. "If you're not busy—"
"I'm bored silly," he snickers. "Go ahead and shoot. I'm all ears."
"So, you might not know, because he's a pain in the ass killjoy sometimes, but Javier's birthday is in a couple of days. I was hoping you could help me get a surprise gift to him? It's not the kind of thing I can put in the mail," you tell Steve, and the blond agent is intrigued, smile wily as you add, "I'll make all the arrangements, I just need your help getting it to him?"
"Sure! Just tell me the time and place."
You do, giving him specific street coordinates and asking him what he thinks the best time would be for him. Once he's thought about the schedule and detailed what would work, you agree on it. "You're a sweetheart, Steve. I'll owe you. Be sure to keep it a secret from the grump, please?" you remark on a chuckle.
"Loose lips sink ships. You can count on me," he drawls in his Southern twang, smiling when he sees Javier coming down the stairs. "Gotta go. See yah then!" He hangs up just as Javier lopes around the upper level to strut down the steps into their makeshift bullpen area.
His partner is none the wiser, and Steve manages to keep the secret for days, not batting an eye or even leading on that he knows about Peña's birthday. Said morning, though, Javier comes to his desk and finds a bottle of his favorite whiskey with a plastic red bow on it.
Shooting Steve a narrowed glance, he picks up the bottle and looks for a tag, finding none. "What's this?" he asks and holds the bottle up questioningly just as the other man drops into his chair and lets it swivel askew so he can put his feet up on the desk.
"Early Christmas present, perhaps?" Steve drawls, watching Javier self-consciously tug on the collar of his pale red button shirt while he's arching his brows innocently as he chews on the toothpick he got earlier in the commissary.
"Hmph," Javi grunts, unconvinced, and yanks his desk file drawer open to stash the bottle with the almost empty one already nestled between the folder racks. He's dubious, but decides not to push it, instead concentrating on spending most of the morning sitting in on Search Bloc status meetings before going up to talk to Ed about Centra Spike radio surveillance.
Around midday, he goes down to the clerical office to see if any faxes have come in from the embassy, and is surprised when the female CNP clerk in uniform hands him a letter. It's got all the stamps that say it's an international correspondence, and when he sees his father's handwriting on the envelope, he smiles. He strolls out as he opens it, deciding to read it while he walks back to the headquarters' main level.
Mijo – I hope this letter finds you well. If you can, try calling your ol' man every once in a while. Just to confirm you've not gone completely native over there. Happy Birthday, by the way – belated, incase this gets to you late. Your tía says hi, and hopes you can get time off to come to Danny's wedding. Can't believe that chiquillo is getting hitched. Anyway, keeping you in my thoughts. Stay focused, and stay safe. –Love, Pops.
Tucking the letter back into the envelope, Javi feels a bout of homesickness, missing his father, the ranch…the simplicity of a life he'd taken for granted when he'd been living it. Slipping it in his back pocket, he lopes up the steps into the main level before swinging around the landing to descend the steps into the bullpen.
Before he can park his kiester, though, Steve bounds around the corner and rushes down the steps, looking a bit flustered for some reason, and skids to a halt by Javier's side of the desk to mumble, "Hey, um, you better head to our dorm."
Quirking a questioning brow, Javi scratches the back of his thumb across his jaw before idly combing it across his moustache, skeptically droning, "If it's about the fucking laundry bundles—"
"Nope. Not that. 'S definitely something important, though. Can't say anything more," Steve interjects hastily before making a beeline to the tip line office, almost as if he's trying to avoid elaborating further.
Scratching his head, Javier turns and heads back up the steps, making the trek across the large headquarters building towards the barracks. He's ascending the steps to the floor they're staying on a few minutes later, and striding down the hall. Idly, he glances at his watch, making a mental note that most of the cadets were out in the field, and it was lunchtime, so anyone else would be in the commissary or off the base.
Getting to the dorm room door, he opens it, not sure what to expect.
He definitely doesn't expect to find the room occupied.
One of the female oficinistas is standing in the room, with her back to him, hands folded behind herself as she stares out the arch-shaped window. At least he thinks she's a clerical officer, considering the aguaciles wear the military service hat. Instead, this officer is sans hat, standing adjacent to the bunks and in front of the makeshift desk he uses, uniform primly pressed, block-heeled office shoes shined, and her hair pulled back in a neat, tight bun. There's a stack of folders on the table that weren't there this morning, so he idly wonders if there's some kind of clerical fuckup – that she's been sent over to get straightened out? But if so, why the hell would she come here for that?
"Uh…le puedo ayudar, señorita? ¿Está en la habitación correcta?" Javier asks, genuinely a bit befuddled as he wavers at the open doorway.
"Si, pienso que estoy en el lugar correcto, Agente Peña."
Javi's expression morphs from guarded confusion to all-out stunned awe – completely floored as you turn and bat your lashes at him, staying prim in your military pose.
Jaw dropping, he just takes you in, as if you're a mesmerizing mirage, before swiftly coming to his senses and hurriedly shutting the door and locking it behind himself, then turning back to gape at you. In two long strides, he's in front of you and staring in overawed wonder, completely disarmed and struggling to find words.
Smiling, you unfold your hands from your back to hook them around his neck so you can stand on your tippy toes to kiss him on the lips. Satisfied that he's properly surprised, you smirk before giving him a smoldering look and purring, "Feliz cumpleaños, mi amor."
Javi's cheeks flush and the tops of his ears get red, and you're pleased with yourself until his brows furrow and his expression hardens as he hisses, "Are you crazy?! What are you doing here?!"
You blink up at him, and wilt before remarking glibly, "Surprising you, obviously—"
"Jesus fucking Christ – do you know how much trouble you're going to get into if you get caught?!" he growls and unlatches your hands from around his neck to soberly hold you in place as he chides, "For impersonating a cop—?!"
"Technically I'm not impersonating a cop. This is a CNP clerical office uniform. No police training, ergo, not impersonating an officer," you cut in confidently and add, "Don't get all boy scout cop on me now, chulo—"
Javier huffs at that and stares you down, eyes flashing with molten fire as he takes you in. Your uniform is perfect – completely legit, all but for the nametag pinned to your shirt, over the pocket. It's missing the first name initial, and the surname printed reads, 'RESTREP O' – the extra space before the O looking like a defect. "Please, tell me you didn't steal this," Javi mutters in a charged tone as he leans close and flicks his eyes from your blouse to your cool gaze.
"Nope," you deadpan and put your hands on your belted-skirt-clad hips. "My great-aunt works at the factory that tailors and manufactures government uniforms. My cousin finagled getting me the ensemble. I'm borrowing it for the day," is your explanation as you tilt your head coquettishly up at him, trying to wear him down. "It goes back tomorrow. No harm done—"
"And this?" he asks and emphasizes by tapping the nametag, eyeing you scrupulously.
"Got it out of the defective box. It's just gonna get melted down and re-pressed," you mutter and purse your lips at him. "Are you really gonna stay mad at me and waste the precious time we have being ornery over this?"
Glowering, Javier tries not to let his eyes wander appreciatively over you in the uniform, but for some reason, he finds it quite fetching on you, and the thought of stripping you out of it gets him riled up. With a sulky huff, he mutters, "I'd rather bend you over on my knee and spank your daring ass for this…"
You hum and shrug your shoulders back, clicking your heels together before loping a few paces away as you muse, "I'm sure you would, but, I actually have something else in mind."
Just when Javier is going to steel himself to coax you back to reality about how risky this scenario is, you turn as you simultaneously unfasten your hair and shake it loose, letting it cascade around your shoulders before you give the locks a flirty toss and smirk at him while starting to unbutton your uniform top.
The fantasy of you tearing your top open to reveal your supple breasts to him flashes in his mind, and now, with it coming to fruition? He feels heat flare across his features. Watching you pull the shirt loose from your skirt causes his mouth to go dry as he croaks, "Fuck…baby—"
"Steve said we don't have much time, hermoso, so quit being demure and c'mere," you cut in as you open the blouse and show him the blush-toned lacy front-clasp bra you have on. Slinking the blouse off and onto the back of the nearest chair so it keeps its shape, you quickly start to unfasten the belt and skirt.
Javier is so hard, that he can't think straight. It takes him a delayed second to do as he's told. Once your skirt is flung over the chair, Javi crowds you up against the bulky wooden desk with the hutch set against the wall across from the bunk beds. You nuzzle him, relishing his warm, spicy scent before nudging a playful kiss into the column of his throat. He gazes down to watch you open the front closure of your bra and slip it off, and you smile up at him through the fringes of your lashes as you sultrily take his hands and place them over your warm, bare breasts, letting him fondle them while he makes an enticed sound at your hands gliding down his sides before slipping them between you.
His breath hitches when you cup him through his jeans and murmur, "Where do you want this to go, amado: my mouth?" you pause and teasingly bring his right hand to caress down your body before you slot it between your thighs. "Or, here?"
He licks his lips and shuts his eyes while he suppresses an exhilarated shudder – hand toying with your breast covetously before he flicks his thumb over your pebbling nipple while the hand at your crotch traces your hidden seam. You mewl softly, eyes getting heavy-lidded as you spread your legs to him in silent invitation.
"I want you wrapped around me, preciosa. Wanna fuck your pretty little pussy...but first, I wanna taste you."
You shiver and nod, pulling him close so you both can devour each other in a desperate, amorous kiss. Soon, though, Javi breaks away from your hungry lips and trails his demanding mouth down your body as he lifts you to sit on the edge of the desk so he can kneel between your open legs and swipe his tongue teasingly over your clothed crotch, which is already damp with your arousal.
In a thick husk, he purrs, "Be a good girl and stay quiet for me, or else we'll definitely get caught."
Nodding vigorously, you kick off the matronly heels and bury your hand in his hair after he peels your underwear off, tossing them to join your bra. He noses up your inner thigh and just savors your heady, wet heat, breathing in your scent and starting to throb in the confines of his jeans with salacious want for you. When he buries his face between your thighs, you have to stifle your enthralled mewl of pleasure, keenly aware that anyone could be walking in the hallway outside. But when Javier growls into your pussy, you arch your hips up and hook your legs over his shoulders for purchase as you bite hard on your lower lip to keep from moaning.
"Oh-mmm, Ja-Javi," you breathlessly whimper after he draws ruinous runes with the tip of his tongue over the hood of your clit and squeezes his wide palms at your ass to tilt the cradle of your hips up to his mouth. "Nnh!" is your reedy cry that you're paranoid is going to echo through the cement walls as Javi buries his tongue inside your silken heat.
He hums in response to you writhing and tugging at his hair after a particularly obscene swipe of his tongue, glancing up at you to watch you clamp a hand over your own mouth to silence your sounds of ecstasy. It's in this moment – with his mouth worshipping your drenched cunt, nose skimming over the soft curls at your mound – that he realizes how monumental this is. For you to do something like this after you've been so steadfast in being careful about your relationship. No woman has ever been so brazen and devoted to making him feel special, so wanted and worthy.
It's all too much.
You're surprised when Javi stands and starts to hastily yank his belt loose and jeans open, but you help him along by unbuttoning his shirt and shifting on the edge of the desk to shove his jeans down his thighs after he hurriedly squirms out of his shirt. Your legs instinctually wrap around his waist when he herds you against him so he can guide his cock to press into your tingling pussy. Just as he starts to breach you, the sounds of talking echoing down the hall outside has your adrenaline spiking and heart jumping in anxiety, especially when Javi thrusts into you and smothers his groan into your shoulder.
Your walls strain around him in this angle, and you wiggle to arch more comfortably, but the hutch digs into your back. He hears you wince, so he pulls out and manhandles you in order to have you bear your stance and grab onto the desk for balance while he lines back up with your dripping heat from behind.
The strangled cry you try to keep in your throat from Javi slamming back into you echoes in your ears, and Javi swears before gripping your sloping muscle and squeezing it warningly. You nod in understanding, hair wildly swaying and obscuring your flushed features. Encouraged, Javi snaps his hips against you, plunging his cock into you on shallow thrusts before picking up a steady, forceful rhythm that has him rocking into you on piston-like strokes. The sound of your combined exerted breathing, the slap of his pelvis colliding with your plump ass, and the slick squelching of his cock railing into you fills the dorm room while you both struggle to keep silent.
In this position, you're really having a hard time keeping your mewls and needy sounds airy, and when Javi hunches so he can scrape his teeth at your neck while one hand grips your waist and the other ventures down to tease your clit? You can't help whimper, "Ahh—!" before Javi's palm covers your mouth and his fingers pause their teasing, soothingly trailing up to your womb to press you close as he huffs and rests his forehead to your nape.
"This…gotta stop this before we get caught," Javi mumbles, voice gruffly hoarse as he catches his breath. "S-Shouldn't have even started—"
You halt his deprecating grumble when you squeeze his hand to stop him from pulling completely away after he pulls out of you again. Haughtily, you nudge him backwards, eyes blazing as you give him that primal look that always sets his desire aflame with obscene want. With some well-placed shoves and little resistance, you guide Javi backwards to the nearby bottom bunk and push him down onto it before roughly helping him tug his jeans off while he kicks his boots off. As soon as he's completely naked, you straddle him and wantonly press down on his broad chest to force him onto his back while you nibble on his jaw. Some quick and commanding maneuvering has you finally on top of him while you palm his slick erection before guiding it to your slit so you can sink down on it.
"Oh, f-fuck-fuck—!" Javi hitches between clenched jaw and tosses his head back, tendons jumping from the effort of not losing control as you roll your hips to undulate over him and your walls strangle around his cock.
Mercifully, the bunk bed is solid enough not to shake or squeak in protest of your fervid coupling, so you let Javi seat himself deep before you passionately caress your hands up his torso and murmur, "Missed you so much, querido. Been dying to see you and make you feel good."
Javier bites down on a moan and clutches at your thighs, eyes glazed over with lust as he starts bucking up, chasing a rhythm with you, trying hard to keep from making sounds while you ride him with abandon. Smug, you bring one of his hands up so you can suck his thick index finger and moan around it just as you grind down over his throbbing cock.
The way he whines a frustrated sound and digs his fingertips into your thigh has your sheath clenching excitedly around him, causing you to quicken your pace so much that your breasts are bouncing with the effort. Javi takes his hand from your grip so he can grab a breast possessively and squeeze it, bucking roughly into you as he feels you just as close to climax as he is.
"Mmph, f-fuck, so close, c-can't lose control; g-get loud—" Javi is growling, teeth clenched and eyes narrowed in concentration as to not fall apart. But when you do, suddenly pushed over the edge into pleasure by his pounding thrusts and desperate tone, your contracting sheath clutches possessively around him and tears a husky moan out of his chest just as his balls pull up and tight with his searing climax. Buried so deep, Javi's orgasm surges fervently into you, causing warmth to bloom inside your hungry sheath as it clamps around him from the force of your own release. He arches under you and loses control, and even in your wild ecstasy, you bow over him and muffle his moan with your hand, clasping it over his mouth as he pounds up into you to prolong both your bliss while you latch your mouth on his neck and mewl incandescently into his skin.
You core aches and thighs burn from how ferociously you rode him, calf muscles straining as you slink off of him and sidle exhausted against him on the narrow bunk bed. His arms hold you close while you nuzzle his sweaty skin and plant doting sated kisses all over while he recovers and hums with feral pride into your mussed hair. Your thighs throb while every muscle from your sternum down protests sorely, but you've never felt more alive. Javi's seed seeps from your puffy, silken heat now and you don't even care, not with his heart beating against your palm and his hoarse sigh thrumming into your ear before he buries a hand in the back of your hair and pulls you into a sloppy, languid kiss.
After he breaks the kiss to exhaustedly drape his forearm over his face, he grumbles, "Jesus…my pulse is still racing."
You smile and kiss his sternum before pulling his forearm from his eyes so you can twist his wrist and glance at his watch. "Ah, we have fifteen minutes before the next shift change," you murmur in an exquisite purr that warms his blood like the best glass of whiskey, wryly adding, "You up for moving, babe?"
"Hmph…I'm debating it," he mutters in a smoky tone, and you smile when he pets your tousled hair. "I can't believe you did this. It's so fucking risky—"
"You're worth it, Javi," you tell him with genuine affection, caressing his cheek and giving him the softest, most loving look before leaning down and capturing his lips in a sweet kiss.
Yep. Javier will love you forever. No doubt about it now. His heartbeat doesn't relax while he lumbers out of the narrow bed to collect a still-damp towel hung to dry on the armoire door. Quickly mopping the sheen of sweat and stickiness off himself, he uses the other side of it to hurriedly tend to his spend currently spilling from your aching pussy. His heartbeat only quickens when you both rush to get your clothes back on and right your appearances. The scent of your perfume and his cologne clings mildly to your skin now, the notes of sweat not as strong once you've dressed. After you playfully suggest that he open a window to air the room out of the sex funk, Javi does so while you slick your hair back and up into a neat bun as you simultaneously toe on your borrowed shoes.
"While Spartan, this ain't half bad," you muse as you glance around the room while he yanks his boots on and tucks his shirt into his jeans before zipping, buttoning and belting them. You snicker at the piling bundles of laundry shoved in the corner by his wardrobe cabinet while you adjust your nametag and then pick up the stack of folders from the table. "Needs a woman's touch—"
When you turn, Javi snuffs your goading lilt by sweeping you against him and claiming your lips with a passionate kiss. You almost drop the folders from how much he makes you swoon, and when you hum into his mouth, Javi breaks the kiss and suckles on your bottom lip before declaring, "I've had the best kind of woman's touch I needed already, atrevida."
Your insides are melty after that, and when he smirks and tilts his head towards the door, you dumbly nod and whisper, "Steve said to go the long way to avoid anyone coming back for the shift change."
Javier makes a note to buy Steve dinner after such an epic assist. "Alright. You slip out first. Wait at the landing below, and I'll come down to show you the way back to the main lobby," he instructs before stealing one last peck on the lips.
Artfully, you slip out the door and glide on long, purposeful strides down the hall to bound down the steps before reaching the landing, ignoring your tender muscles. A few minutes later, you hear Javi's boots hustling your way. The minute he makes it to the landing, he whisks you down another corridor and falls into step next to you as you both feign being just two people walking a hall side by side.
"Where'd you get the folders?" he mumbles covertly as you both lope into the large headquarters building's interior.
"Steve. You'll have to return 'em for me," you mumble and play the role of a clerical staff member to perfection, getting no second looks from others you both pass in your brisk stroll to reach the main exit.
"You're gonna have to give me every single detail of just how you pulled this off—" Javi gloatingly muses as he leads you to turn down a corner.
"Agente Peña. Un momento."
You both halt in your stride, and Javi turns towards Col. Martinez, who just emerged from a briefing in a conference room across the sprawling multi-departmental wing Javi had been leading you out of. You pause too, unsure of what to do, but not showing any unease as you wait. Seeing as the former police academy was a virtual labyrinth of wings, corridors, stairwells, and offices, you would have a difficult time traversing them without Javi's help.
"Cómo no, coronel," Javi answers, and while his stance and demeanor are totally relaxed, you can see how his back tenses.
Before you can think of what to do, the colonel glances at you with a clear-eyed stare and nods in acknowledgement before stating firmly, "¿Podría permitirnos un momento?"
"A la orden, mi coronel," you respond and bow your head in deference before turning and loping down the hall Javier and you had been turning down.
Disarmed by just how good you are at this ruse, Javi watches you go until you saunter down the steps and out of sight. The colonel clears his throat, causing Javi to remember himself and try to pretend he just couldn't help but watch a beautiful woman depart. However, Col. Martinez gives Javi a lingering glance, as if he was able to read something from the DEA agent before gesturing to take their conversation to a less public corner.
While Javier gets stuck with the colonel, you find yourself wandering down the steps until you find a landing that opens up to more office spaces. You vacillate as you try to look for some kind of building chart – anything to indicate where you need to go to get to the exit. Spotting another staircase that would be in the direction of what you believe to be the front-facing side of the police academy, you hustle towards it and descend the steps before coming out at what seems like a familiar ante-hall. However, just as you walk towards what looks like a possible way towards the exit, you see Benson from Mil Group bounding down the staircase tucked ahead of the steps you'd been heading to. Worried that he might recognize you, you pivot and stroll in a different direction, hesitating on where to go and hearing the man with the Boston accent approach while in mid-discussion with a member of the CIA team.
"Um-uhh, señorita? Por favor, uh, los folders aquí," you hear Steve shout over, and you whirl to see him down in what looks like to be a bullpen, so you nod and hustle over to saunter down the steps and away from danger of being spotted. You shoot him a cool, albeit relieved look as you strut over to the desk he's standing in front of and hand him the folders. Leaning close, as if he's asking you something about the documents, he whispers, "Holy hell, that was close! Where's Jav?"
"Colonel Martinez stopped us upstairs and asked to speak to him," you explain and see him nod to himself before dropping the folders on his desk and going to grab his jacket.
"Ok then, follow me, hun," he mumbles and passes you to head up the steps.
As you let Steve be your covert guide out of the CNP headquarters building, Javier is antsy to get done with his conversation. He knows Martinez doesn't like him and suspects him of being the Los Pepes leak, but the man can't prove it, and while Javier still can't figure out if the colonel is looking to nail him on it or not, he gets the sense that he's been discouraged in sussing out the parties involved. Once the colonel gets approached by a teniente, he excuses himself, and Javier eagerly turns on his heel and strides at a clipped pace to try and find you.
Once he's in the ante-hall leading down to the bullpen, he skids to a halt when he spots Steve covertly flagging him to come to their desks. Javi hustles down the steps, gaze questioning, 'Where is she?'
Pulling a set of keys out of his pocket, Steve slaps them in Javi's palm and drawls, "Take my car," and nods for him to hop to it.
Smirking, Javi quirks his brows and mutters, "I fucking owe you," before rushing up the stairs and out the way towards the front of the building.
"Yeah, yah fuckin' do," Steve mumbles to himself as he deflates into his chair, relieved that all crisis was averted.
Javier hustles out to the parking lot, spots Steve's jeep, and bounds over to it, opening the driver's door and hopping in.
Innocently, you smile at him from the passenger seat before musing, "So, that went well."
Javi scoffs his exhale before turning the car on and putting it in drive. "You are something else," he grouses with a rueful shake of his head. Once he's driven out the gates of the old police academy, you're able to breathe a sigh of relief and startle Javi by nimbly climbing into the back seat. "What're you doing?" he asks and glances at you in the rearview mirror.
"I'm going to change," you tell him simply and pull your hidden duffle stored on the floor to sit on the backseat with you as you rifle in it for your change of clothes. "Keep your eyes on the road, chulo," you tease when he stares for much too long.
Shaking his head in disbelief, he grunts, "All right, out with it. How the hell did you two plan this?!"
Smiling deviously, you start to explain it as you hurry to unbutton the uniform blouse. You tell him how Steve had agreed to pick up a gift at a corner a few blocks away from the police academy, and when he'd shown up, you'd hopped in with the duffle and wearing the uniform already. "—It took some convincing, but he sulkily agreed to help smuggle me in. It was actually super easy," you muse as you take off the skirt and shoes, now sitting in the backseat in just your bra and panties before you tug on an orange polo shirt.
Javi is floored, stealing another glance in the rearview as you slide into a pair of jeans and wiggle to fasten them. "You can never do that again, querida," he tells you gruffly as he drives on a route towards the sector of the city where you're grandmother lives. "That was so fucking dangerous—"
"Javier, give me a break. That was nothing," you dismiss cavalierly as you fold the uniform and store it in the duffle before packing the matronly shoes in it and slipping on leather flats. "Even if I'd gotten caught, it would've been a reprimand in my jacket. That's it," is your dismissive musing as you zip up the duffle before climbing back over the center console to settle into the passenger seat next to him again. "I've done plenty of riskier impersonations."
Javi glances intensely at you before frowning and staring ahead. "Should I be afraid to ask?" he laconically mutters.
"Only if you're going to impersonate a prude all of a sudden," you haze him acerbically and let your hair loose from the neat bun before shaking it out to cascade down your shoulders. When he grunts moodily, you roll your eyes. "Remember how I told you I spent a lot of time going to concerts? Well, I also found ways to travel cross-country for big shows. Unfortunately, my father was stingy with the stipend he'd give me for living expenses, and I used the bulk of it on bribes—"
"Bribes?" Javi repeats, mystified as he glances over at you again.
"Yeah. When I lived in the dorms at the prep school – before my father's sister let me stay with her senior year – I needed to find ways to sneak in and out afterhours, so I'd bribe the RA's," you tell him, as if it's completely reasonable, before adding, "Anyway, with lack of funds, I came up with an idea."
When he peers over at you with big, curious brown eyes, you smile and elaborate, "I would impersonate being a Pan Am flight attendant. I read a story in an old Look Magazine about a guy who'd traveled the world impersonating a pilot. So, once I was able to buy a uniform from a flight attendant who lived in Chelsea, I had it tailored to fit me, and off I went."
Just when he thought you couldn't surprise him any more, Javier is gob smacked by this reveal. The brazenness of your exploits, and how flippantly glib you are about them roils him. Sure, a small, wild part of him is impressed, but the rational, cop-minded side of him is unnerved. "How…how old were you when you did that?!" he asks tensely, gripping the steering wheel as he waits at the stoplight.
Smiling meekly, you demure, "Sixteen…"
He balks at you. "You were getting on airplanes by yourself, and no one ever flagged you?" he asks, still staring at you with befuddlement, and only breaking eye contact after the car behind him honks the horn when he doesn't start driving once the light turned green. Sheepishly, you sense he's getting worked up over this, so you hesitate on whether to answer. When he notices your glance, he grunts and winds his shoulders free of tension and stops chewing on the inside of his cheek, so you adjust in your seat and take a cleansing breath. "I'm all ears, bravita," he presses, idly trailing his thumb over his moustache and coaxing a small smirk to set you at ease.
Slightly appeased, you comb your fingers through the length of your hair, kind of pleased to smell your comingled sweat in it. "Well, no, obviously, I never got caught. You have to understand that most people don't as much as give someone in uniform a first look, let alone a second. And what's more reassuring than a man in uniform?" you ask, and when he glances and raises his brows, you answer, "A woman in uniform. As long as my hair was done, my makeup looked nice, and I could keep on my feet in those damned heels, I attracted no suspicions. No one ever questioned it."
He shakes his head in wonder – both equal parts impressed and scandalized. "You never cease to amaze me, preciosa," he muses and relents, giving you a crooked smile as he purrs, "Such a daring, wild little thing."
You smirk and lean over to plant a kiss on his cheek. "You love it."
"…Part of me definitely does. The one that isn't having a heart attack still, that is," he croons sardonically.
Chuckling, you nudge his thigh playfully. "Ay, pobrecito. I know that was scary," you taunt and purse your lips at him when he scoffs and gives you a haughty look. "Big, strapping stud of a DEA agent, almost so close to getting caught living dangerously with an insatiable woman in his dorm—"
"Burlona," he grouses, as he takes the avenue leading up the destination he seeks. "How'd you manage to get the time off of work?" is his question as he glances at you from the corner of his eye.
"'Buela had some doctor's appointments this week, it just so happened. I took the time off so I could drive her," you reply, adding with a wily smile, "And yes – she's totally invited you and Steve to dinner tonight, so you have one more thing to look forward to—"
"I told you it was dangerous here," he interjects, his tone sharp with a harsh edge. "Just because things have quieted down doesn't mean we can carry on here like nothing."
Taken aback, you stare at him as he drives, brows furrowing worriedly as you reply, "But I read in the paper Los Pepes are done, that they're not operating anymore—
"Nothing is a done deal until Escobar is captured or dead. Until then, you need to stop being reckless and listen to what I tell you," Javier cuts in forcefully, and glances sharply over at you as he adds, "I explicitly told you it wasn't safe—"
"What the hell? What is this?" you snap and glare at him. "Are you mad at me?"
Javier sets his jaw as he drives up the hill and rounds the corner down an adjacent block from your grandmother's street and quickly pulls into an available spot at the curb so he can park and collect his thoughts. When he turns to you, your gaze is quizzical, and you've self-consciously folded your arms across your chest.
With a patient inhale and exhale, he levels you in his intense, brewed stare. "I am not mad. But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't taken aback by how reckless you're being, even after I told you I didn't want you here and that you didn't have to do anything—"
"So the only one who gets to be reckless is you. Is that what you're saying?" you sneer and scowl at him.
That triggers Javier's anger.
"Remind me, which one of us wears a fucking badge again?" he condescends, starting to lose his temper as he watches your eyes narrow defiantly, so he leans over towards you to grouse broodingly, "You cannot be reckless. And what I do isn't for you to define or classify to me. If I tell you something, it's not a damn suggestion—"
"I don't know who you think you're talking to right now, but you better fix your tone, real quick," you hiss and challengingly meet his intense gaze with a snide stare. "If you hated being together today, then just say that—"
"For fuck's sake! Why do you immediately jump to that shit?! When the fuck did I ever say that?!" he barks at you, adding with aggravation laced in his tone, "I'm just telling you how risky it was and that shit here isn't safe—"
"What dream world do you live in, Javier?! Colombia? Safe?" you harangue now. "It's a fucking U.S. fantasy! Not because anyone over there actually gives a shit what happens here, but because it costs something – or fucks with whatever self-interested machinations they have for the state of affairs here. Don't fucking talk to me about safe. Not when you're gonna play whack-a-cartel indefinitely ad nauseam for infinity – trading Medellín for Cali, and whatever other fucking narco comes after that. Hell, even the supposed threat you got wasn't even from Escobar! You honestly think you can lecture me about what's safe here?!"
The verbal lashing was one you didn't even know you had in you, and now with Javier just staring irascibly at you? His expression as flinty and hard as you've never seen it? It hurts your heart to see, and when you vacillate, regretting your harsh words and preparing to apologize, he levels you with, "You can't have it be known that we're fucking together at the embassy, but you can prance into Search Bloc headquarters impersonating a fucking CNP clerk?! And not worry or care about the fallout if you got fucking caught? Or how I'm on my last goddamn chance here, and something like this would tank everything I've worked for—I've fucking sacrificed and am inevitably gonna hang for?"
You're shocked, torn asunder by his words, and Javi regrets them as soon as he sees you grapple with your emotions.
"Fuck…querida. I-I didn't mean it," he begins remorsefully and reaches for you, but you pull away. "I'm sorry—"
"You don't think I want to flaunt to everyone that we're together?! How can I, though, when you do nothing but either make me look like a fucking fool or push me away?!" you yell at him, eyes burning with anger rather than letting the tears well up. "Fuck me for wanting to do anything I could to see you on your birthday, for taking chances I would never even entertain doing for anyone else. I'm so fucking sorry you have to deal with such a reckless liability. Don't worry, though…you've made how you feel clear."
With that, you storm out of the car, slam your door, and open the backseat door to retrieve your duffle before slamming it for good measure as well.
After something that wrathful, you expect Javier to just drive off, but instead, he turns the ignition off and rushes out after you, grabbing you by your forearm and towing you back towards him before you can stalk away. "Please…just listen to me," he growls and literally takes the duffle away from you before chucking it back into the car via his open driver's door.
You balk at him as he pulls you back to the passenger side, opens the door, and possessively makes you sit in the seat before slamming the door shut so he can walk around and climb back into the driver's seat. Once both of you are tensely sitting there, Javi collects himself, dragging his palm down his forehead and nose before gripping his jaw, irate energy simmering to a slow burn now once you've stubbornly remained silent.
"I love you. It scares the shit out of me that you would put yourself in jeopardy in any way for me. I don't ever want you to do that again, do you understand?"
Disarmed, you sit in bemused silence.
"I know what I signed up for. You did not enlist to descend into the fucking mess with me. I will not let you," he irrevocably declares and stares at you with fervent conviction. "This is probably going to come off as me being an asshole, but I need you to understand that two things can be true: I loved spending time with you, but it scares the hell out of me how you went about it. You cannot do it again."
You rile at that. "You cannot command me to do anything," is your terse objection. "You can ask me not to do it again."
Winding up, Javi snarls patronizingly, "Fine. Pretty please, do not do that again, cariño."
The disparaging laugh you scoff is one he knows is going to lead to something he's going to regret unleashing from you. "You snide sunovabitch. Do me a favor and stop talking to me like you're my fucking father, or else you're really going to piss me off bad enough to reconsider ever putting myself out there for you and instead trade all this infuriatingly maddening bullshit in for someone less of a hassle. Someone who won't make me feel crazy all the fucking time," is your berating promise, expression cold as marble.
Javier boils over at even the allusion of Luke. "I'm done fighting with you," he rasps disdainfully. Your anger wanes at that, replaced by the hurt sinking like a slow hot dagger in your chest as he disparagingly looks away and drones harshly, "Do whatever you want. You know how I feel. I'm not going to keep trying to convince you—"
"For once...I wish you would, and actually believe it yourself," you tell him and turn away, pinching the bridge of your nose as you feel a wave of sadness threaten to brim your eyes over. "Just…please drop me off."
Javi's heart sinks as he looks back at you and sees how your shoulders have drooped – feeling hollow at how defeated you sound. "Querida…"
"Please, don't worry. Just forget it…drop me off, and I'll be sure not to bother you again."
When you feel his hand clutch your shoulder, you jolt like you're going to dissolve – like you'll fall apart into the broken, lonesome thing that you truly are, deep down. Then, his hand squeezes your sloping muscle before his fingers thread into the hair at your nape.
"I just couldn't live with myself if something happened to you because of me. It terrifies me…" Javier confides in a low baritone, as you remain still and silent. "I never want to hurt you. Would never want to make you feel bad. I—" he pauses and clears his throat to reclaim it from quaking. "I'm fucking scared of losing you."
Your heart breaks at that, shard-like hurt slicing away at your anger and stubborn outrage to let the longing burst free. Turning to face him, you can't help blink away the tears, but one falls down your cheek and you hastily brush it away, feeling so flustered and offended with yourself. "I never want to upset you, Javi. I just—just thought you were mad at me for doing this, and it threw me off. I'm sorry for being such a bitch—"
You hiccup your breath when he cups your cheek and caresses his thumb soothingly over it, and you feel like you'll fall apart for real, so you try to hide your face in your hands, but Javi can't take seeing you so upset. So, he pulls you close and encircles his arms protectively around you. "You're not a bitch," he tells you, voice soft as he adds tenderly, "I'm a fucking idiot for overreacting."
Exhaling shakily, you wrap your arms around his shoulders and hide your face in his neck. "I would never want to jeopardize anything for you. I need you to know that," you mumble in a reedy voice, the knot in your throat not loosening yet.
"I know. I was a dick for saying that—" he grumbles.
"No, I didn't consider how it would impact you if I was to get caught. I'm sorry, I just thought the risk was worth it," you confide and sigh, fingers clinging to the back of his shirt when he nuzzles you and starts brushing his hand over your hair. You let it ease the tension from you, and you lean into Javi more over the center console.
A charged pause reins between you for a beat, and you nose his collar, inhaling his comforting, albeit slightly post-sex-ripe scent, and smile.
"This has to be the worst fucking birthday ever."
Javier buries his laugh into your neck before suckling an affectionate kiss there. Pulling back to brush your hair from your face dotingly, he sighs, pensive. "Nope. That honor is still held by the year my mother died…m'birthday was a week later."
You frown and pull him close, planting a kiss to his cheek before tracing your fingertips along the contour of his face. "I'm sorry, mi amor," you whisper, caressing his jaw when he leans into your touch.
"It's ok," he grunts, smile sheepish on his full lips as he drawls, "Aside from screaming at each other, this was a great birthday."
You laugh, melodious and endeared as you hug him. "I swear, what is the deal with us fighting in jeeps?!" you snicker sarcastically and arch your brows goofily when he scratches at his jaw ruggedly, chuckling as he shrugs.
Once the last of the angst is snuffed out, you both kiss your apologies away and eventually regain your gravitation, so when he parks in front of your grandmother's house to drop you off a while later, your sadness now is only about having to go back to missing him.
"You know, when all of this is over, you'll have to bring Steve here so we can cook a celebration meal. She's already going to be miffed that you're not coming tonight," is your flirty order, exacting smile earning an amused grunt from Javi.
"Steve's been dying to have your cooking, so I'm sure we can make that happen," he jokes, smirking. When your smile widens before flickering with rueful hesitance about saying goodbye, Javier leans forward and kisses you chastely on the lips. "Just…we just need to wait a little longer, preciosa," he adds thoughtfully as he caresses your cheek. "Once I'm back in the capital, we'll figure out the rest."
Nodding, you take his hand in both of yours and glance demurely down at it and whisper, "I'm willing to wait, Javi. Just promise me…promise that you'll stay safe? If things are still as tenuous as you say, the thought of you risking any more of yourself is just too much."
Javier knows he cannot make that promise. But when you flick your bright, hopeful gaze up into his, he replies, "I promise, querida. It's almost over. Once we nail Escobar, things are going to change for the better."
You are so relieved by the conviction in his baritone, and you show it by throwing your arms around his shoulders and kissing him with the passion of a thousand suns. Javi savors it, basks in your grace and wishes to never let you go, but, you both know it's time to part ways, so you hug him tight once more and kiss him before playfully brushing your thumbs over his moustache and squinting as you purr, "I hope you know to thank Steve profusely on both our behalfs?"
He quirks his brow sarcastically and huffs wryly. "Yes, controladora, I'll do that and more," he grouses before pecking you on the lips. "Love you."
"I know," you retort glibly, and he pinches your ass at your slick audacity, so you giggle, "Alright! I love you too."
"Good. Now go, before you get me into more trouble," Javier drawls laconically.
Duffle retrieved from the backseat, you exit the jeep and saunter across the sidewalk and up the walkway before turning and blowing him a silly kiss and a wave.
Javi can't help smirk as he drives off, feeling the post-adrenaline buzz and fuzzy delight that comes after a whirlwind of risky, thrilling exhilaration. When he gets back to base and remembers the letter in his back pocket, he fishes it out and smiles, deciding he could at least write his Pops a response. Give him an update on how he spent his birthday, and when he mentions you? He finds himself writing a little longer of a message than he usually would, and he feels good about it as he mails the correspondence off.
The good feeling lingers with him for a while, spanning days. Steve doesn't even razz him too bad about the stupid grin he came back to base with, or comment about the rumpled sheets he sleeps on for a few days way too long. And he definitely doesn't object to his partner treating him to probably the best meal he's had in Colombia since his wife had left. And sharing the bottle of whiskey while he tells Javi how he'd sputtered when you'd jumped into the jeep and imperiously told him he was going to help you or forever be on your shitlist was the most fun he'd had in a while.
Yep, for once, Javi understood the dopey feeling Steve would talk about when he'd fawn over Connie. It was in him now every time he'd tell him something about you, and he didn't mind feeling it at all. It isn't until the loneliness sets in again a week later that Javi has to war with letting it seep into him. But then, when it's going to be almost a month since Escobar went to ground, and the more time passed in inactivity sets in, the more he's left with his thoughts. Too much time to think was always Javi's foil. All the worries, self-recrimination, and frustration piled up, and the more it did, the more apprehensive he was about how it would affect him.
How it would affect you.
This rainy evening, though, you can hear it in his voice – the tension, so you listen to him idly banter about how he and Steve spent an hour the night before flicking paper clips into a cup across the room, out of sheer boredom. But when he asks you about your day, you can't pretend anymore.
"What's wrong?" you press in a gentle murmur.
"…Seriously. How do you always know?" his tone is self-deprecating, hushed with the weight of what he doesn't want to tell you.
Curling into the couch cushion as you stare out at the rain beyond your balcony doors, you sigh. "Your voice. When you're stressed, there's this tension to it," you reply matter-of-factly. "So? What's the matter?"
He huffs gruffly. "I fucking miss you, that's what's the matter. And we're going on over a month here with nothing – not a sighting, a call, not a goddamned thing. Search Bloc is literally playing soccer out front most of the time—"
"You and Steve should join 'em then, since paperclip football or whatever the hell that is sounds awful," you quip, smiling when he grumbles a sarcastic, 'Ok, yeah, sure thing.' "Well, since you asked…I have some news," is your meandering murmur when you glance over at your purse and stare at the badge clipped on it.
"…Bad news?" he asks, seemingly thrown by your pensive, ambivalent tone.
Well, was it bad news? You think back on the day at work, and still, feel uncertain. "So, my boss is retiring," you preface, trying to collect your thoughts. After all, it'd come out of the blue, and when you and Ellis just sat there, perplexed, your boss had smiled, assured you both it was a good thing, and dropped the bomb. "It's all still preliminary, but basically, next week, we have a big meeting with the ambassador and the Operations officials to discuss what this will mean for our department."
"Shit," Javi remarks, asking carefully, "Are you worried?"
Biting your lip, you tell him the kicker. "Well…no, because he then said he would recommend that I be assigned to head the department," you tentatively muse and absently toy with your ponytail. "Whatever it becomes, anyway—"
"That's great news!" Javi beams, and you can hear him sit up in his desk chair with excitement for you. "Congratulations, querida—"
"Let's not get ahead of ourselves, babe," you cut in, but the lopsided smirk his wry huff stirs softens you to muse, "Nothing is a done deal. Hell, they could end up telling us they're going to shrink the department, or worse. And just because he recommends it, doesn't mean they'll agree—"
"C'mon, quit being modest. You're a fucking shoe-in, preciosa. No one else is smarter, or more capable," he tells you without any hesitation in his canela-smooth baritone, which makes you melt. "Is Ellis cool with it?"
"Yeah, he was more than cool with it. His wife and him have actually been debating about leaving for the states," you remark, trying to hide the sadness in your tone. "He would rather be a 'Number 2 dude,' or so he declared on the carpool home…"
Javier snorts at that before his tone sobers to ask, "Did he say when they'll make the move? To the states, I mean."
You sigh. "No, but he has feelers out already," is your musing, adding glibly, "Anyway, just a nice bit of uncertainty to get the anxiety going."
He hums at that. "Well, once you're the boss, just tell him you won't write him a good reference so he'll have to stay," Javier jibes, and you huff and roll your eyes. "When it's official, we'll go out and celebrate. It's going to be a big bragging point – being with a director," is his charismatic purr.
"No jodas," you giggle and slump lower into the couch. "If that happens, there is definitely no way we can go public! A female director? Taking advantage of a heroic DEA agent and slayer of the Medellín cartel? What a scandal!" Your sarcastic singsong gets a haughty hum from Javi, so you can't help tease, "Abusing my power by keeping you afterhours in my office, just so I can have my way with you? Oh, it would surely be frowned upon."
"By who? I know I'll be smiling every day," he charms, and you laugh warmly, tickled by his silliness. "Maybe I'll be your unofficial assistant. Get your coffee every morning, type up your memos for you…" You giggle at the mental image of him in a crisp suit, handing you a coffee; at a laptop typing away with his pointer fingers, but then, he's got you biting your lower lip when he husks, "And when you're needing to unwind, I'll bend you over your desk and help you relieve some stress."
"…That is definitely going to be a huge HR violation, hermoso," you chime, even though you're very turned on now by the filthy fantasy he's planted in your mind.
His provocative chuckle tells you he's feeling the same. "It'd be worth getting written up, mi amor," Javi drawls before sighing reluctantly, "I gotta go."
It's when you get to this part of the call that you miss Javier the most; that your heart aches to be wrapped in his arms. "Call me tomorrow?"
"Looking forward to it, cariño. Goodnight," he rumbles.
"Goodnight, chulito," you lilt, adoring his surly little grunt just before you both hang up.
Javier's highlight was getting to talk to you after the end of the day, so he was looking forward to toiling along to that end when he loped down the steps into the bullpen the next day. Steve was already at his desk, talking on the phone and looking a bit hassled by whomever he was on the phone with. When he nods over at his partner in unspoken question, Steve mouths, 'Messina,' to him, so Javi makes a dismissive gesture as he mouths back, 'I'm not here.'
"Yeah, uh, he just got in," Steve mutters and holds out the phone to Javi.
He stares at the man as if he's the biggest sellout before taking the phone and greeting his boss while simultaneous flipping Steve the bird.
Of course, that dreaded article she'd been so harried about previously was published and getting tons of traction. He's quick to assure Messina that there's nothing to be concerned about. Los Pepes disbanded and everything was pretty much over. "—And they're not talking. So, we're covered," he assures as he puffs out his cigarette smoke. He thinks he hears her say, 'We better be,' before hanging up on him, but Javi can't be sure, and really – he doesn't care. It's been crickets for as long as Escobar has been MIA, so he's confident that he's going to able to put the sordid saga behind him in the near future.
So, by the afternoon, when he strolls over to pick up the ringing desk phone, the last thing he expected to hear was Don Berna.
He's on autopilot while he drives over to Judy Moncada's compound, trying to itemize every potential way he could get fucked over, but ultimately once he's parked at the sanctimonious woman's white-and-cream sofa, listening to her bitch and moan, Javier comes to a conclusion.
Escobar had stopped being a threat a long time ago. The real monsters were Cali. They'd just known to stay underneath the surface – pulling strings from the shadows and tipping dominos to fall in the patterns they saw fit.
But, he'd underestimated how impulsive Judy Moncada could be, so when she threatened to expose him and his involvement with Los Pepes, he knew he only had one more play. Don Berna was old school – he lived by the warped narco code, but Judy? She wasn't dumb enough to die with honor. So, it took little convincing to get her to agree to be a DEA informant. It was a great insurance policy for him too, because it meant he could justify any linkage between himself and the Los Pepes fiasco if it landed the great white shark that was the Cali cartel.
At least that's what Javier was telling himself as he caught a chopper ride to Bogotá in order to bring his catch straight to Messina, in person. He hadn't made it off the elevator before his satellite phone started ringing in his leather jacket's pocket.
"Peña," he answered curtly as he continued his march up to Messina's office.
"Jav! Listen – I think we have a huge score here. This bodyguard, he's guarding Escobar's family at the hotel. The fucker snuck his wife a radio telephone! He's been making periodic calls to her," Steve emphatically details, and Javi slows in his striding pace to listen. "Trujillo and I are in Bogotá. We just met with him. He's credible."
He sees Messina in her office, just through the glass of the department, so he walks in when she glances up and gives him a stern look. "Alright. Take it to the colonel," he tells Steve.
"Javi, he's given us everything. We got codes, frequencies. I think it's real—!"
"Take it to Martinez," Javier repeats, impatient now. "I'm at the embassy. I gotta call you back."
With effort, he reassures Steve that he'll call him later once he's sorted stuff out. And once he's given Messina the rundown? He knows she's fuming, but there's no point in feigning deference. This is his only chance to lock it all down before it blows up in all their faces.
"This is a tier-one narco who's ready to flip on other tier-one narcos. She's been in the business for 30 years. She knows Cali's operation. It's not intel anyone can provide—"
"She has leverage over you."
Staring at his boss, Javi knows he's got to make the case. So, he does, laying it all out to Messina, and assuring adamantly, "The moment she goes on record, her leverage is gone."
It was the right selling point. Messina is on board, and warns him to tell no one – that there are people in the building who will not like what they're doing, and that don't seem to want to take on Cali. Javier nods and is on the move before her warning really lands, but when the elevator he's riding down to the lobby stops and opens to admit Stechner? And he's goadingly drawling, "So…how's it going?" to him? Javier knows this isn't going to be a friendly chat.
And, it isn't. He just glances suspiciously at the steely-eyed man, who smugly keeps mum until the elevator doors shut before he coolly takes a hand out of his pocket to idly scratch at his graying beard before musing, "I guess you're not gonna be able to call her tonight."
Javier's gaze intensifies on the man, expression flinty as he sets his jaw and burns with rage. Everything in his veins is screaming for him to yoke him up against the wall – to snarl at him for the audacity of tapping your phones and listening to your most private conversations. But reason – and the dinging of the elevator arriving to its next destination – wins out, and the supercilious man lopes off before making one final parting shot.
"Have a safe 'copter ride."
His fury is like quicksilver in his veins as he rides the elevator down alone.
Javier is alone in this. He has made it so, and will carry it out to the end as long as possible. He hopes that'll only be until he has Judy's signed statement and can get her into DEA protective custody.
By the time he arrives at the safe house, it's after dark, and what should only be half hour's wait, turns into an hour and a half of him smoking half his pack of cigarettes and fiddling with the buttons on the tape recorder. While Javier's checking his watch for what feels like the hundredth time, you're just packing up to leave with Ellis, stifling a yawn while you both walk out of your department.
"—Think we should come up with a proposal to have ready for our meeting with the ambassador, just to show we've got plenty of ideas for how to expand the department," Ellis is affably cajoling.
"We have one of those already from the last time they promised to upgrade things. Don't see why we should leave it collecting dust," you muse, but your thoughts are elsewhere, so it isn't until you're both in the car and en route to your place that you frown and sigh, "I don't think I can do this without you."
Startled by your candid declaration, Ellis reassures congenially, "I'm not going anywhere just yet, girlie! And trust me, you can. I know you'll miss me terribly, and lord knows I'm awesome, but you'll manage—"
You swat him sardonically on the arm. "I got it, Rose. What am I going to do without your silly gringo perspectives? And your whining? Or being able to commiserate with Anita about you—?"
"Har-dee-har," he scoffs and comically glowers. "It's way too premature to worry about any of that. We still gotta see what the plan is. And really, the process for Anita and her parents to get visas is going to take a while. Just the paperwork alone was a bear to get together," Ellis gripes reassuringly.
It helps stow your sad anticipation of a drastic shift in day to day living without having your office buddy and best friend around. To potentially being in charge, without your sounding board of a mate, and his warm friendship. Once he's dropped you off, you stroll at a leisurely pace through the courtyard towards the stairs, thinking about the little silly fantasy Javi and you wove over the phone the night before.
The whimsy of it – of everyone at work knowing you're a couple and being able to thrive together has your heart beaming like a beacon – pining away for the fantasy to become reality.
As you're striding up to your apartment, Javier is just arriving back at the embassy. He's wary and weary – only able to keep his wits about himself because he knows he's about to get cursed out by Messina. Not having a lock on Judy Moncada or any idea where the wannabe-narco-queen could've fucked off to after standing him up was not going to go over well. And with the woman in the wind, the threat of exposure still hung like the sword of Damocles over his head.
Tiredly rubbing at his shoulder as he pushes the glass door into the department open, Javier fully expects to see the woman's dour expression when he turns the corner into her glass-lined office.
Bill Stechner's ugly, gloating mug is what greets him instead.
The realization of what's occurred is a stultifying shock to his system. It's like he's slowly watching his life fall apart in the blink of an eye – to bleed out, sieved between his desperate fingers.
"—Judy has an interview with The Miami Herald in, uh, oh, five hours," the CIA station chief chimes as he leans back into what used to be Messina's chair, putting his foot up on the desk in an showily irreverent lounging pose. "Now I can't be certain, but I bet she has a story to tell about the involvement of a certain DEA agent with Los Pepes. All I know for sure is, whatever Judy has to say, it won't be pointed in my direction," the callously glib man declares while Javier stares him down like a man who should've seen the play before it'd been made.
"And Cali too, right?" Javi presses flippantly. "They get a pass?" is his snarky query before jabbing, "How much do they pay you for your protection?"
For his part, Stechner disparagingly scoffs before condescending to Javi about how Cali would be got someday – just not his way. Then, when Javi is doing everything to keep his fists clenched at his sides and his vision clear from the hazy rage turning his eyes black, the smug man needles him that he should've stayed in his lane – that he was extremely naïve for thinking he would take down Cali his own way. Javi is utterly defeated, but no more so than when the smug bastard gets up and drops his parting shot.
By the time he mentions the ambassador, The Miami Herald story spreading? Javi has become rescind, only half hearing, "—I think you're going home, but…you didn't hear that from me," from Stechner before the bastard strolled out of the office.
Javi feels utterly gutted.
For his part, though, the ambassador is pragmatic and shrewd as he glares Javier down and snipes, "You really fucked yourself over, son. If you're gonna pull the grenade pin, you should know where you're throwing it first before it blows up in your fucking face."
Javi can't hold the man's gaze as he petitions, "Is there any chance I can stay and make good, sir?"
Loping around his desk to cross his arms and appraise the downtrodden agent before him, Crosby gives a huff. "You're out. This time tomorrow, you're back in D.C. Then, I'm sure you'll be going up in front of the Board of Conduct," the glacier-eyed ambassador gruffly intones before snapping his fingers and holding out his hand. "Need your satellite phone, badge, and gun."
His heart sinks into the well of his stomach, but he acquiesces, handing over the listed possessions wordlessly and watches as they're placed on the desk like mere paperweights.
"I'll have Murphy pack your things at the base tonight and arrange for them to be shipped to your home address stateside. In the meantime, you'll be escorted to your lodgings here. Pack and be ready to get on a plane in the morning," Crosby directs, not sparing any ill will or sympathy. Just matter-of-fact, and when Javier hazards a flinty stare, the ambassador nods and actually extends his hand to him. "I know this isn't what you were working towards, Peña. I don't reckon you'll fuck up this bad ever again, though," the seasoned ex-Navy man remarks while Javier shakes his hand firmly.
"Here's hoping, sir," Javier cynically muses, but it's hollow – as hollow as the feeling cresting up from his gut.
When he exits the building, two guards escort him home, confiscate his car keys, and become sentinels outside of his apartment. It's a standard precaution for embassy staff and agency members who are getting their visa pulled and shipped out. But what's truly fucked up is that they disconnect his phone line, not allowing him to make any calls in order to ensure security measures aren't compromised and he's not tracked in order to end up a target for reprisals.
By the time Steve shows up at his door early the next morning, Javier feels like he's having an outer body experience. This fucking guy who's stacking boxes by the door while embassy staff collect them to be mailed to his father's house in Laredo? He doesn't know that guy. But yet, it isn't until he looks in the side mirror while Steve drives him to the airport that he admits it. He knows that guy quite well.
He's the lonesome fuckup he's always been. The guy who'd gambled with his own life at the fatal detriment of others. Worst of all, he's the fucking idiot who would never see you again.
When you woke up disoriented and shifted on your bed that morning, you realized you must've fallen asleep with the phone on the pillow next to you while you'd waited up for Javier to call you. Concerned, you'd called his satellite phone, and gotten nothing; it didn't even ring. Shocked, you hurriedly dialed his office line at the base, and it just incessantly rang with no answer. Heart starting to palpitate with your anxiety, you'd hurriedly gotten ready for work and set out to rush over to the embassy. The whole time there, you couldn't shake the foreboding feeling, heart racing as you jumped to every horrible conclusion and prayed you were wrong.
As soon as you got through security, you hear the gossip, but don't believe it. Gone?! Rotated out? In a hurry, you take the elevator to the floor the DEA's department and bullpen are, heart beating at a staccato pace. The department is a ghost town thanks to everyone being pulled into an impromptu meeting with the ambassador to tell them the news of Messina's reassignment.
When you stand in the doorway of the empty office and see Javi's desk is bare, your heart shatters into writhing pieces in your chest.
Javier is pensively staring at his partner – his friend – looking at him like he's passing over all his hopes onto him for safekeeping while they share one final beer at the airport bar.
"—You do me a favor. You…You get him."
Steve nods, brooding, but standing strong, the realization of the ironic and unfair turns of events making him reticent.
When the P.A. announces his flight is boarding, Javi barely remembers saying goodbye to the other man. Carry-on bag in hand, he ambled away, feeling both disconnected to reality while intensely shackled by it in this moment. His brooding thoughts can't even break through the sound of his own pulse pounding in his ears. So, when Steve suddenly bounds over and stops him before he enters the terminal his gate is in, Javi's brows arch and his scowl becomes a bemused look while his blue-eyed friend grabs his shoulder and gives it a shake.
"Call her."
On delay, Javier shakes his head, dejected. "I'm gone, Steve. Truth is, I should've never been in her life," he grouses lowly. He'd spent the entire night alone, thinking and agonizing about it – regretting every fucking decision that led him to the sorry state he was in. "The shit I've done? I'm lucky to not be in a body bag right now," he says; gaze faraway as he thinks about you. "I should've stayed away, but I just…couldn't. Now, with all this shit, I…I don't deserve her. I…never did. I can't fucking burden her anymore," he mutters lowly and diverts his gaze. "She's better off without ever hearing from me again."
Steve yanks at his shoulder, nudging him to force his dark, sad stare back to him. "You will regret it for the rest of your life, Javi. It's going to haunt you if you don't reach out…at the very least, you owe it to her," his now former partner tells him emphatically, holding his gaze until the P.A. repeats the announcement for Javi's now-boarding, departing flight.
With a curt nod, Steve pats Javier's shoulder before walking away, exiting towards the way he came, with Javier's ambivalent gaze watching him go.
By the time you get home at the end of the day, you are filled with desolation, heartache becoming a hollow numbness after having bottled up all your despair and swallowed your feelings the entire time while the embassy was scandalized by the shakeups in the DEA. Psychologically going on autopilot, the defense mechanism managed to get you home, guarding you from falling apart in front of others. But now? You're so out of it that you don't realize you dropped all your things on the sofa and collapsed like a rickety scaffolding down into the chair, where you remain for a span of time you could not measure after you sunk forward to prop your elbows on your knees in order to bury your face in your hands.
You cry…and cry until you are exhausted. And then, you sobbed until your eyes hurt and your chest aches. Face streaked with tears, you wipe your soaked palms into your skirt and curl up into yourself, letting the empty feeling soothe you into a state of semi-awake existing.
At some point, it's become dark in your apartment – the daylight advancing into the twilight of early night as you register the shift in your tired, vacant stare. The shadows grow until you feel blanketed by them, unable to muster the effort to get up and turn on a light. All your mind can focus on is the numbing of your thoughts around yesterday, today or tomorrow. It's all just a blank slate you feel nothing towards.
A sound startles you into keener awareness, and it takes your sullen psyche time to register that it's your phone ringing. On autopilot, you get up, navigating in the darkness into your room to retrieve it from where you left it this morning in your panic. The only reason you answer it is because you can't remember whether you'd even said goodbye to Ellis before just picking up your things and leaving – or if you even locked up your laptop for the day.
Sitting heavily on the corner of the bed, you press the button and answer, in a low, guarded tone.
At first, all you hear is the hustle and bustle of a crowd, the low hum of foot traffic over an expansive interior, and the fuzzy drone of a monotone announcement over a P.A. system.
"…Querida."
Heart leaping and wringing in your chest, you feel hot tears begin to well there and bubble to the surface. "A-Are—" your voice breaks, face burning with your overwhelmed grief as you clutch at your throat to try and ease the knot that's forming in it. "Where are you?"
"I'm in D.C. Just landed. I…I don't know what to say, except—" you hear him clear his throat before hoarsely murmuring, "I'm sorry. So fucking sorry for all of the hell I've put you through. Y-You…you deserve so much better."
Shocked, you sit dimly in silence for a few seconds, just absorbing that, before you manage with much effort to hitch out, "Javi…all I care about, is whether you're ok."
You hear his charged exhale stutter out of his chest before he collects himself and raspingly confides, "I will be, as long as you stay safe, querida. Everything that went down…it showed me just how fucked up things really are there. At all levels. Promise me you'll always protect yourself."
Wounded, you whisper, "This isn't about me right now. What—What's going to happen with you?"
Javi huffs a frustrated grunt. "I don't know. Going to DEA headquarters in the morning. It's a pretty done deal though that I'm going up in front of the Board of Professional Conduct. They'll decide what to do with me," he tells you, trying to hide the tension in his voice with that flippant air of his. "Just hoping none of 'em has a subscription to The Miami Herald—"
"Your job? That isn't you. I could give a fuck about your job right now, Javier. I asked what's going to happen to you – not to your position in the DEA," you cut in harshly now, the hurt reverse engineering into anger. "Are you going to be ok?"
There's a pause, one due to Javier being completely taken aback by the resolute fire in your tone. Even after all the doom and gloom, having you verbally lash him for being facetious gives him solace, as he stands at the pay phone in the bustling airport terminal. Pensively, he muses, "I…honestly don't know. Haven't given it much thought."
That makes your soul ache. "Javi—"
He exhales, annoyed with himself. "I'm sorry. I don't want to upset you, cariño. But I don't want to lie and say I've thought that far ahead. All I've thought about is how fucking stupid I was for not seeing this coming. For missing it all and…" you hear him hesitate, and you immediately know what he was going to say but decided to censor himself to you.
So, you say it for him. "For not being here to catch Escobar."
The pause is palpable from him. You just here the background noise of the terminal for some tense seconds, and wonder if he's just going to hang up, but instead, he sighs. "It's late. Shouldn't have called you so late, but I just—I wanted to hear your voice. Just let you know…I'm ok," he pauses before murmuring, "I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye to you properly."
Your heartstrings snap under the weight of that. After all, what even is the proper way to say goodbye to the man you love? The only man you've ever truly loved…
"It doesn't have to be," you find yourself mumbling.
"…What do you mean?" he queries curiously.
"It doesn't have to be goodbye. Just…call me sometime?" you venture, feeling your heart race with anxiety at the prospect of being rejected. "Call and let me know you're alive, from time to time?" is your meek jibe as you fidget nervously and tug absently on the strands of hair you've tangled your fingers into.
Javier's awed chuckle is warm, albeit bemused. "I-shit-I honestly didn't think…you'd want to keep in touch," he haltingly muses.
"Well…I do, if you want to," you tell him with genuine feeling. "Anyway…I won't keep you. Just, take care of yourself, ok?"
You can practically hear him struggling to find the right words. So, when he grunts to himself, you think he's going to just say goodbye and hang up, but he surprises you with a soft murmur of, "I love you, querida. Stay safe."
When the line clicks and the dial tone drones in your ear, you vacantly drop the phone in your lap and stare at it before disconnecting the call. Tears begin to brim your eyes anew, a menagerie of feelings running wild inside you now as you dissolve under the weight of his words.
But then, all of the feelings are eclipsed by one, startlingly harsh question.
What the fucking hell are you ever gonna do now?!
 ________________
Read Chapter 19: Fallout
Spanish-English Glossary:
Chulo/Chulito = cute guy; little cutie
Mira quien habla. Te crees Mr. Swagger de verdad = Look who's talking. You think you're a Mr. Swagger for real
Papisongo = Puerto Rican slang for a very sexy man; a stud
Querida/querido = Affectionate term, akin to expressing one's want and desire
Cariño = darling/sweetheart
Bien gracioso = Real funny; real jokester
Chavón = a man that's pestering you
Atrevido/Atrevida = Daring man/Daring woman
Hermosa/hermoso = beautiful (female); beautiful (male)
Te emo = I love you
Corazón = Heart; pet name to signify how deeply you love someone
"¿Ah, sí? = Oh, yeah?
Galán = handsome
Preciosa = Gorgeous; precious
Mi amor = My love
Canela = Cinnamon
Mijo (aka mi hijo) = My son; sonny
Tía = Aunt
Chiquillo = little guy
Oficinistas = office staff; office clerk
Aguaciles = deputies; guards
le puedo ayudar, señorita? ¿Está en la habitación correcta? = Can I help you, miss? Are you in the right room?
Sí, pienso que estoy en el lugar correcto, Agente Peña = Yes, I believe I'm int he right place, Agent Peña
Feliz cumpleaños = Happy birthday
Amado = beloved (male)
Agente Peña. Un momento = Agent Peña. One moment
Cómo no, coronel = Of course, colonel
"¿Podría permitirnos un momento? = Could you give us a moment?
A la orden, mi coronel = As you order, my colonel
Teniente = Lieutenant
Bravita = Tough girl; feisty girl
Ay, pobrecito = Aww, poor baby
Burlona = Joker (female)
Controladora = controlling woman
No jodas = Don't fuck around; don't mess around
Thanks for reading! Please consider leaving a comment and sharing your feedback. I would be eternally grateful.
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let-them-read-fics · 3 years
Text
What Could've Been
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Requested By Anon: "pls do a rosé or jennie imagine where the reader is into them but they just keep rejecting her. then they just cross the line one day and say hurtful things to y/n so the reader just ended up stopped pursuing them. then someone else (could be the other rosé or jennie also of yk what i mean) became interested in y/n and they get all petty and jealous yk djajdua,, COULD BE ANY ENDING HFHSHAU I'M JUST A REAL SUCKER FOR IMAGINES LIKE THIS TYSM"
Pairing: Love Triangle -- Jennie x Fem!Reader and Rosé x Fem!Reader
Word Count: ~ 7,333
Warnings / Misc. -- Angst, Pining, Rejection, Crying, Fluff
Disclaimer: This writing is a work of fiction, and no disrespect is meant for those mentioned herein.
A/N: ⚠️ Important ⚠️ Class, gather round -- we have some things to discuss. I'm not angry, just... disappointed. *dramatic music*
First off, I want to address something with asks: as I've stated before, there's no certain amount of time that any one request will take me. Sometimes I'm more inspired by one than others, and sometimes I legitimately lack the time or brainpower to write a piece that holds true to my standards.
Please, refrain from messaging me multiple times about a request. Once is fine, especially if it's been awhile since you first asked, but I'm doing my best to give you starving fans the content you wish to see, and that takes time.
To those of you who continue to be patient with me: I sincerely appreciate it.
Secondly, I hope you enjoy this. ♡ Happy Reading ♡
PS ~ Anon, I still love you. Now enjoy this fic or you're grounded.
PPS ~ It gets better as it goes on
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
"Thank you," you politely say to your driver, handing him some money before stepping out of the sleek black car and onto the sidewalk. The bottoms of your shoes crunch lightly as they come in contact with the concrete, steadily announcing your course towards the performance hall. 
You let out a breath as you stand in the elevator, alone with your thoughts in the small space as it ascends. 
Your hands nervously palm the fresh bouquets of flowers you purchased on your way here -- the girls just finished a comeback stage, so you've decided to surprise them and show your love. You spent time picking out a personalized batch for each of them, making sure to mix their favorite colors and types, but you went even further for Rosé: you hand picked a larger, special array, choosing them based on their meaning and how much you think she'll appreciate them. Over the years, you've made sure to note her favorite ones; that came in handy tonight, and the florist assisting you definitely appreciated your attention to detail. 
Too chicken to go to her first, you decide to bring the other girls their gifts now and save Rosie for last. All of them are unwinding independently in their dressing rooms right now, enjoying some much needed alone time before coming back together later to celebrate. 
"Jisoo-yah!" You sing-song, rapping lightly on the door. It's slightly ajar, but you still knock out of respect for her privacy. 
In an instant, the door swings open to reveal a very happy unnie. "Y/N! I've missed you!" She nearly shouts, pulling you in for an eager hug. A surprised noise leaves her lips as her hands come in contact with the bundle behind your back, crinkling the plastic slightly in her excited state. 
"I got you a present," you say, smiling softly. Jisoo can feel the way your cheeks raise up, brushing against the skin of her neck as your head rests there, and her heart melts. After pulling out of the embrace, she wiggles her eyebrows at you.
"Well? Let me see!" You do as she asks with a chuckle, pulling her bunch out of the hold of the rubber band that's keeping them all together. "I got your favorite." You grin, sticking them out for her to see. Her eyes widen at the sight, and she's touched by the kind gesture. Flowers aren't particularly unique in terms of what companies and fans send them, but seeing the effort you put in makes it incredibly special. She couldn't be happier. 
"Y/N, you're the best." She presses a small kiss to your cheek as a thank you, and invites you in right after. Jisoo considers you to be one of the closest friends she has, so being apart hasn't been easy on her. You're the only person she's okay with venting and crying in front of, and she's been needing that lately. Sensing this, you pull a chair up to her vanity and let her fill you in on all the mayhem you missed out on during your time away, holding her hand for reassurance. When she gets a little frustrated, you rub her back gently, telling her to take her time. 
Jisoo is beyond thankful for you, and that becomes more and more apparent the closer you two get. Times like these hold a special place in her heart and remind her of why she loves you so much. You truly are a great friend to have, and there's no one she'd rather have in her corner. 
----
"Incoming! 3...2...1…" You call out, standing in front of Lisa's door, ready to knock it down and barge in. The greeting is an inside joke between the two of you, though neither of you know where its origins lie. 
"Yah! Hold on!" She shouts, nearly tripping and falling from how quick she rushes to the door. You laugh at the sounds of chaos coming from inside, wincing slightly when a thud rings out. Hair slightly disheveled, she opens the door with a huff. "This had better be good, because I almost died." 
Wordlessly, you reveal her present and smirk as the halfhearted scowl on her face disappears completely, giving way to a dopey grin. "You remembered?" She asks quietly, running her fingers over the petals of her all-time favorite flower. The fact that she sounds so shocked makes you sad -- not many people take enough time to notice the little things. They'd rather focus on profiting off of the girls' talents than actually caring enough to get to know them. 
"Of course I did, Lisa. You're one of my best friends; how could I forget?" The maknae pulls you in for a meaningful hug, allowing the gesture to tell you all the things she doesn't know how to express. She's not always the best with her words, but she makes up for it with her actions. 
"I really love you, dork. You know that?" She asks as she pulls away, ruffling your hair lightly. She cracks that smile that seems to make the world stop, and you just shake your head. 
"You'd better. Your flowers were the most expensive!" You tease, dodging her when she reaches out to grab you for that one. 
"Get back here!" She shouts, chasing you down the hall like a 5 year old, planning to get her revenge. 
---
"Jendeukie, open up!" You squeal, pounding on her door while throwing a look over your shoulder. Lisa is dangerously close, ready to tackle you as she continues charging down the hall. 
"Y/N?!" She exclaims from the other side of the door, clearly not expecting you to be here. 
"Hurry!" You can hear footsteps eagerly rushing towards the door, and just as she opens it, disaster strikes. 
Lisa's arms wrap around your waist, pushing you forward and right into Jennie. The three of you fall into her dressing room in a messy heap, limbs splayed in various positions as you yell together on the way down. You manage to keep the flowers out of harm's way, thankfully, and your arm remains stuck out just in case Lisa tries anything else. 
"Hello to you, too, Y/N." Jennie groans with a chuckle, the words coming out a little strained from all the weight on her. Lisa stands first, pulling you up right after, and you turn to help your best friend up as well. 
"I sure know how to make an entrance, huh?" Your lopsided grin makes Jennie weak in the knees, much like it has ever since she met you all those years ago, and she has to fight to contain the blush that rises to her cheeks. After bantering with Lisa for a few more moments you eventually push her out of the room, shoo-ing her back to her own in order to give yourself some one-on-one time with Jennie. 
You stick your tongue out at the maknae one final time before shutting the door and turning around, finding a very soft looking Jennie peering back at you. Her cheeks are pulled back in her signature gummy smile, and the fluffy sleeves of her Chanel sweater engulf her small hands as she cradles her face in them. 
Perhaps, if circumstances were different, you'd be hopelessly pining for this 5'4" angel instead of Rosé. Love knows no logic, though, and you're stuck chasing after a certain Australian beauty that never seems capable of giving you the time of day.
"I missed you," she pouts, pursing her lips adorably as she steps forward to wrap her arms around your shoulders. You pull her in and pick her up with a spin, smiling into her neck when she giggles in your ear. 
"Well, I'm here now. And luckily for you…." you start, allowing for some anticipation to build, "I come bearing gifts. Well, a gift. Singular." Jennie chuckles at your rambling -- it's one of the traits she finds most endearing about you, and she always hates it when people cut you down for it. It's adorable in every way. 
"Oh?" She asks, intrigued as she raises an eyebrow -- she's keeping the act up for you, of course, too fond of the cute smile on your face to tell you that she already knows what it is. You hand over the flowers with a little jig, too excited by how happy she looks to contain yourself. 
"They're beautiful, Y/N." She stops herself from adding a, "just like you," to the end of the phrase, wishing she was able to say things like that. You deserve to be reminded of how special you are everyday, and she knows her bandmate fails to do so. 
"So, what've you been up to?" You amble over to the couch that's tucked away in the corner of her dressing room, plopping down onto the cushions with a small bounce. Rosé's flowers lay beside you, and Jennie eyes them. 
"Same old, same old," she says, finally looking back at you with a tiny grin. "Practice for the comeback has kept us really busy lately, and somebody hasn't been there to tell us jokes at 3AM and keep us going." She playfully rolls her eyes, pretending to be annoyed. 
"My most sincere apologies," you hold a hand over your heart in mock regret, bowing your head with closed eyes. "On the bright side, though, I'm back in town for next month or two. I finished the business deals we had to handle abroad, so now I'm all yours." 
She knows you didn't mean hers, but that doesn't stop her from pretending. 
A happy noise of approval slips past her lips, and she claps excitedly. The sight reminds you of some of the childhood videos she's shown you, the two looking eerily similar to one another. No matter what may happen in her life, Jennie will most certainly remain that innocent young girl at heart, getting scared by everything that moves and loving with her all. She's an amazing person to know, and part of you feels sorry for everyone who'll never get the privilege of knowing her personally -- after all, everyone deserves a Jennie Kim in their lives. 
"Are you celebrating with us later?" She asks from in front of her mirror, now brushing her hair to busy herself. She runs the risk of making her feelings too obvious if she doesn't keep herself occupied. 
"I was planning to, yes. But that might depend on Rosé." You inform with a nervous chuckle, an anxious smile playing on your lips. When you look up and find her brows furrowed, you elaborate. 
"I'm gonna try to ask her out today when I bring her these flowers." You lightly chew your bottom lip out of habit, rubbing your hands together. The mere thought of such a task is daunting, especially with your not-so-perfect track record when it comes to her. You still try to cling to what little hope you have squirreled away in your heart, wishing with all your power that your sweet present will convince Rosé to at least give you a chance. 
Distracted by your thoughts, you don't notice the way that Jennie's face falls. Her heart is breaking in silence, splintering into pieces far too small to put back together. She knew this day would come eventually, given that you're a determined person and head over heels for Rosé, but that doesn't mean she was prepared to find out like this. The lovesick glimmer in your eye hurts Jennie even more, knowing that you're probably imagining what it would be like for her to say yes to you. This whole time, Rosé has been stringing you along -- giving you just enough hope to keep coming back to her, using your devoted acts of kindness selfishly -- and Jennie would do anything to make you see that. You don't deserve what she puts you through. 
"...Earth to Jennie!"
The brunette snaps back to reality and clears her throat, attempting to gather her thoughts again. 
"Sorry, just got lost there for a second." She says, looking back into your eyes after a moment. A curious look plays in them, and she can practically see you debating on whether or not to question her further. She lets out a quiet sigh of relief when you accept her answer, choosing instead to smile at her. 
"It's alright. But what's not alright, is that I've been sitting here for 5 minutes and you haven't come over to cuddle me. I mean seriously, a girl's gone for forever and her best friend doesn't bombard her with love?" You shake your head with an amused smile, throwing your hands in the air. 
Oh, the things she would do to change that title. 
Successfully suppressing the pang of longing that runs through her, Jennie quips back, "A month and a half is hardly forever, Y/N." 
"It felt like it, though. I missed seeing you." 
She finds you pouting, your arms folded across your chest like a toddler, and her heart melts. Any amount of time without you is too long for Jennie's liking, and she's happy to know you missed her as well. 
"Fine, I guess I can spare some cuddles." She pretends to be put out as she approaches you, really playing the part by huffing and looking uninterested. Inside, though, she's celebrating. She can't wait to hold you close again, even if it may lead to her hurting herself with the what-ifs and scenarios that play in her mind. 
"Yay!" You shout, pulling her into your lap before laying your head on her shoulder. Her heart beats rapidly at the proximity, and she prays to every higher power in existence that you don't notice it. 
She relaxes after a moment, releasing the tension from her muscles as she sinks into your embrace. It's warm and comforting, and she never wants you to let go. Her head rests on top of yours, and she's content just running her hands through your hair, feeling your calm breaths against her skin. 
She's so in love it hurts. 
-----
This'll convince her, you whisper to yourself, attempting to sound confident -- key word: attempting. If there's one thing you know about Rosé, it's that she loves to be difficult with you. You caught feelings for her years ago when you were first introduced to each other at a company event, and ever since then you've done nice things for her nonstop, hoping that she'd fall for you with time. The longer you wait, though, the more discouraged you get. Regardless, those times that she appreciates your efforts make up for all the rest, and you'd gladly take 100 instances of the "bad" in order to have even just one of the "good". 
After taking a deep breath, you knock on the door a couple times.
A sigh can be heard, sounding like a complete 180 from the reactions of the other girls. The subsequent footsteps are heavy -- like she's dragging her feet, not even wanting to get up in the first place -- and they work to dishearten you a bit. Nevertheless, you imagine how happy she'll be when she sees the surprise, and a small smile makes its ways onto your lips. All you want to do is brighten her day, if only for a moment. 
An indifferent expression rests on her face when she first opens the door, likely expecting someone else to be standing in your place. Not much changes when she realizes it's you, though a sliver of a smile does quirk up at the corner of her lips. 
"Hiya Rosie," you greet sweetly, unable to contain how wide your smile grows at seeing her again. She makes you feel like a giddy school girl, and you can't decide if you love it or hate it. 
"What's up?" She asks, more out of common courtesy than anything else. Her body leans against the doorframe, her left arm resting behind the door. She didn't throw it open or invite you in like the other girls, so that tells you that she probably doesn't want visitors. 
When you take too long to answer, she asks dryly, "Are you just gonna stare at me?" Her voice is laced with a slight undertone of annoyance -- one that makes you shrink down a bit. You can practically hear how exhausted she is, and part of you feels bad for disturbing her with your presence. 
"N-no, sorry." You curse yourself for looking like a fool. "I got you something that I think you'll enjoy." Her eyebrows raise slightly and you can tell she's intrigued, even if she may try to deny it. 
"Here." You declare, nervously fixing the plastic as you hold the bundle in front of you. You want it to look perfect for her. 
"I, uh, hand picked it." 
"Thank you, it's lovely." She says politely, taking them from you and bringing them up to her nose. She admires the gentle, pleasant scent of them, and smiles appreciatively at you.
You blush under her gaze, slightly tripping over your words as you respond, "Of course, I'm glad you like it." 
Now, the part you dread: when the conversation dwindles down, threatening to end entirely unless you step up to keep it going. 
"Well, how've you been?" You cringe at the overused question, but you're willing to employ it in order to hear her sweet voice for a little longer. 
"Look, Y/N, I really appreciate the gift and all, and I'm really happy to see you again, but I don't feel like talking right now. I just want to enjoy myself for a little bit." Her denial makes you scrunch your face up, embarrassed beyond belief as her words sink in. You should've known that flowers wouldn't suffice. Perhaps that last line stung the most -- you try not to read too far into it, but the idea that she doesn't enjoy herself when talking to you nags at your heart. 
"Yeah, yeah. For sure." You scratch the back of your neck, awkwardly taking a step away from her door and back into the hallway. 
"I'll see you at the get together later though, right?" You ask, kicking yourself when you realize how hopeful you sounded. You have to get better at hiding it. 
"Sure," she nods, sending you a smile and little wave before saying goodbye and shutting the door. 
Well, that was a bust. Damn. Back to the drawing board, it is -- though your ego will need a few hours to recover. 
---
"Lisa, I swear to god, if you come near me with that I'll punt you across this room." 
Your very serious, totally-not-exaggerated warning evidently worked against you, because the maknae soon raises her head to look at you, grinning like a maniac. Frosting from the cake she just messily cut into covers her hands, looking threatening as she wiggles them at you. 
"I mean in!" You shout as a last resort, slowly backing away. You accidently bump into Jennie in the process, but you fail to realize that it was part of the plan all along: she and Lisa are in cahoots. When the maknae lunges, swiftly striding across the room towards you, you attempt to move out of her path and get somewhere safer. Steady hands on your waist keep you anchored in place, though, and you try to fight them. 
"Jennie?! Let me go, she's right there!" You squeal, trying to pry her fingers off of your hips one by one. She merely laughs, whispering a sorry into your ear right before Lisa's hands run across your cheeks and neck. You squirm, leaning further back against Jennie to evade the younger girl as she does her worst. 
Now, practically having a face mask of frosting, you step away from the girls and glare at them. 
"Bullies, I tell you." You say to Jisoo, groaning when she busts out laughing. It doesn't take a genius to know that you look a mess, and you'd probably laugh at yourself if the roles were reversed. The others soon join in, and a chorus of belly laughs fill the air around you. 
"Go ahead, laugh it up," you tell the girls, nodding your head, "Just wait til I get my revenge. I'm coming for you, Manoban." You point a finger at her as you exit the room, grinning when you hear the oooo's that they let out at your threat, and you make your way to the bathroom at the end of the long hallway before you.
On your way back, you hear Rosé's voice filtering in from one of the lounge rooms that branch off of the main corridor. Intrigued, you stop walking and listen in. 
Big mistake. 
Your ears perk up when you hear your name roll off her tongue, though her subsequent sentences crush your spirits. 
"...I know, right? She's honestly so annoying. Like earlier, I was finally getting cozy after our performance and then she just showed up."
Too shocked to leave now, you stay where you are and try not to let her words hurt you too much. She listens to the person on the other end of the line, laughing at something they said. That sound -- one you’ve grown to love more than anything else in the world -- is turning into something you hate. It feels like she's laughing at you; which, in hindsight, she probably is. 
"Exactly! She had flowers for me, as if I don't get those almost everyday already, and I guess she really thought that that would win me over. It was sweet but, c'mon, you know?"
Every insecurity you have is nagging at you, and you can't stop the few tears that roll down your cheeks at her brutal honesty. She's really hurting your feelings, and you can't help but want to call her out for it. So, you do just that: you step into the open room, one that lacks an actual door, and say, "Next time you wanna talk shit about someone, maybe you should make sure they're not around to hear it." 
Her smile falters slightly, and she spins around to face you. A hint of guilt plays on her features, but you're sure it's only because she got caught -- she definitely meant everything she said. 
"Y/N--"
You don't stick around to listen to what she has to say. Her change of behavior surprised you, and you can't trust that she's even sorry for it. 
Your pace quickens as you hear her voice become clearer -- she's in the doorway now, calling after you, but you don't even turn around. The salt of your tears greets your tongue, and you're once again reminded to wipe your face as you rush down the hall, rounding a couple corners and darting past countless doors on your way. You just want to get out of this place and be alone. 
A new voice slows your strides as it greets your ears, feeling like a security blanket in its gentleness. It's Jennie. "Y/N? Why are you crying?" She came to look for you when you took too long to return from the bathroom. 
You're far too embarrassed to look at her, so you simply sniffle and raise a hand up in her direction. "Don't worry about me, Jen. It's not important." 
"Hey, yes it is. You're upset and that matters." She steps towards you, saying the words that you had no idea you needed to hear so badly. Your heart aches, still shocked by the fact that Rosé would say such things about you. You thought you were friends, if nothing else, and yet that's never felt further from the truth than it does right now. 
When you don't move away, Jennie takes that as a sign to bring you into her arms, cradling your head against her chest. The kind act hurts your heart more for some reason, and you want to pull away. Jennie senses this and decides to rub soothing circles on your back, her warm embrace comforting you as she says, "I don't know what happened, Y/N, but I'm right here. We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, either, but please don't leave like this. I hate to see you upset." 
Something about the way she's holding you, so close and tenderly, is comforting beyond belief and you can't find the desire to leave anymore. 
"Can we at least go to your dressing room? I don't want everyone to see me like this."
"Of course, sweetheart. Come on." 
Sweet phrases of reassurance are whispered to you as she leads you away, keeping you safe from prying eyes the entire time. Jisoo appears in the doorway of the party room, raising a concerned brow when she sees the two of you approaching. Jennie shakes her head at the unnie before she can utter a word, giving her a silent answer as she uses her eyes to communicate what's happening. Jisoo eventually understands, and she offers a sympathetic nod when you pass by.  
-------
7 Months Later
"Hey Jennie, do you think you can go answer the door? I'd do it myself, but…" Jisoo trails off, glancing down at the bowl of partially mixed dough that sits in front of her on the counter. Her hands continue to knead the mixture as she looks up at the younger girl, subtly sighing in relief when she agrees. 
There's more than one reason behind having Jennie be the one to answer it. 
The brunette grabs a pen as she pads her way over to the door, ready to sign for a delivery package -- that's usually the only thing they get at the dorm, considering guests are discouraged for the most part. Screw YG and their rules. 
Being a bit clumsy, Jennie accidently knocks her phone out of her own hand as she opens the door, muttering out a quiet “shit” as she bends down to retrieve it. Her eyes trail over to the stylish boots that set just a few feet away, and her breath hitches. 
"Hi baby." You greet with that healing smile that she's missed so much, peering down at her with a look in your eye that makes her heart trip and stumble over itself. 
"Y/N!" She shrieks, jumping up from the ground and right into your arms. 
"Uumph--" you let out in surprise, making sure to catch her and prevent her from falling. Ever since you two began dating a few months ago, leaving has become harder and harder. Jennie is beyond thrilled to have you back again, and she tries not to think about the next business trip you'll have to take. It's a methodical rhythm -- a month or two abroad and the same amount back home, then you're left to repeat the cycle over and over. Both of you hate it, and you'd much rather spend all your time with her instead. After all, ever since the incident with Rosé all that time ago, Jennie has steadily worked her way into your heart and become someone you can't live without. You were close before, but you've reached a new level now -- and that's about the only thing you can thank Rosé for. By hurting you and showing you how little she cared, she effectively pushed you right into Jennie's waiting arms.
"I'm so happy you're home." She says with a sigh, truly grateful to have you in her arms again. You wrap your arms tighter around her waist and sway a little bit, both of you content with just holding each other for a while longer. The weather outside is dazzlingly perfect; signs of summer apparent in everything around you. Birds chirp their looping songs as they fly through the air, feeling the sun's gentle heat on their wings all the while. 
You move your head enough to be level with hers, bringing her in for a long-overdue kiss. She smiles into it, cupping your cheek with one of her hands as she languidly moves to deepen it. 
Rosé should've stayed in her room. She should've ignored her stomach's incessant grumbling for a snack; but she didn't. 
She gave in, and now she's stuck, rooted in place as she watches Jennie kiss you, the one that got away. It's like watching a train wreck: she can't look away, and part of her psyche knows she deserves this. The apple in her hands is the only thing working to distract her, and she grips it tightly within her clutch to comfort herself. You look good -- so good -- and Rosé doesn't know whether to be happy or not. She knows she didn't treat you right -- then or ever -- but for some selfish reason that she doesn't dare give voice to, she wants you to still be hurting. She wants you to be suffering like she is now, crying into your pillowcase at night when she crosses your mind. She wants you to miss the good times, though there may not have been enough of them, and she wants you to want her again. 
You've turned the tables on her, and she doesn't know how to cope. 
She realized what she had once it was gone -- once you were gone, too busy falling in love with Jennie to pay her any mind anymore. She misses how devoted you were to her and how much care you put into everything you did; she misses the consistency that you offered; she misses every sweet thing you ever did for her. Hell, she even misses hearing you ramble and seeing you blush when all she did was smile at you. 
But you're gone now, destined to be with her member when all she wants is another chance. She'll never get it, certainly not after everything she's put you through, and she resents herself for treating you so badly. All you ever did was care, and she was too self-centered to give a crap. 
She deserves this. She deserves to see you happy with Jennie, happy in a way she could never make you. For you, she deserves to hurt; to silently cry in her room when she hears the two of you on call, laughing about whatever new thing you experienced that day. Because it wasn't just the one instance of pain she inflicted on you; it wasn't just that one night at the performance hall -- it was a steady build up of rejection and half-assed excuses, and even she can't blame you for getting tired of it. She wishes she hadn't been so stupid to deny you. 
What's worse is that she's actually fallen for you now; she imagines what could've been, what would've been, had she given you an honest chance. She's never tried to deny how gorgeous you are -- that's a given -- but now you're bruisingly beautiful, shining with the happiness that Jennie's worked hard to instill in you again. Shining with the love you hold for that 5'4" angel. 
Maybe, if circumstances were different, you'd be in Rosé's arms right now. Perhaps in another life. 
---
"Do you want to come in? Jisoo's working on some dessert for the lunch we just made. We can heat you up a plate in the meantime…" Jennie trails off, hoping to persuade you. She knows it's risky, considering the tension that feels almost tangible anytime the three of you are together, but she doesn't want to let you go so soon. 
"I don't know…" The uncertainty in your voice is clear, and Jennie watches as a slight grimace crosses your features when you look past her and into the dorm. Luckily Rosé had already found the will power to move to the dining room, so you're spared from seeing her just yet. 
"If things get weird or uncomfy we'll leave, okay? I promise." She says, knowing she's convinced you once you give her a little nod. 
"Okay. But I'm only doing this because I missed Jisoo's cooking." A playful glint shimmers in your eye as you quirk your head to the side, teasing her. 
"Hey!" She groans, pushing your shoulder as the two of you walk down the little concrete path that leads to the front door. "I'm kidding! I missed Lisa's jokes, too." 
You laugh at the gasp she lets out, and you make sure to turn around and press a kiss to her temple to stop her from pouting. 
--
"So, Y/N, where did you go this time?" Jisoo asks, leaning against the marble island of the kitchen as she pops a piece of tanghulu in her mouth. The crack of the sugary coating pulls your attention away from Rosé, where it had momentarily been -- she looks awful. Bags rest underneath her eyes, her normally vibrant features crestfallen now as her gaze scans across the food on her plate. 
You look at Jisoo as you answer her. "The states. We worked with some local companies and small businesses to get more promotional material out in front of people. It's actually pretty amazing, guys -- you're blowing up over there. They love you." The girls smile at your words, feeling a sense of accomplishment swell within themselves. Back when they were trainees they never imagined that they'd end up this far, and yet here they are, seeing their dreams come true, day after day. 
You're just happy to be along for the ride. It's not easy by any means -- people often crack under the pressure and get discouraged by the hustle and bustle of everything that such a major operation entails -- but you've never been more thankful for a position in your life. 
"As they should," Lisa smirks, looking self-assured with the little cocky motion she does. You almost choke on the piece of food you just stuffed in your mouth, laughing at how ridiculous she looks. 
After successfully not dying, you look at her and shake your head. "Lisa, what is wrong with you?" She puts on her infamous meme face, pretending to be shocked by your question, and you cackle again. The sound makes Rosé jealous; she wishes she were the one making you laugh like that. 
Another hour or so passes with the 5 of you just relaxing and snacking together at the table, taking turns trading stories and jokes in the meantime. After finishing your dessert and complimenting the unnie's cooking skills, you make your way towards the kitchen with a groan of, "I'm so full" thrown over your shoulder. 
You begin washing the dishes, finding it only fitting seeing as they spent all that time preparing such a good meal. It's the least you can do. A smile tugs at your cheeks when you hear the door open, followed by light footfalls against the hardwood. Jennie. 
Warm arms snake around your waist as she hugs you from behind, resting her cheek against your back. Your brows furrow when you notice an unusual thing -- either Jennie grew a few inches in the last 5 minutes, or someone else is holding you. Their cheek reaches a place Jennie isn't tall enough to, and it all hits you.
It's Rosé. 
You go to shut the water off and step away, but the sounds of her quiet sniffles give you pause. "Please don't." She whispers into your shirt, bunching the material up within her fingers against your stomach. A pang of sadness pulls against your heart strings, the long forgotten feeling reignited by the waver in her voice. "Rosé," you start with a sigh, ready to launch into the practiced speech of how happy you are with Jennie now and how you've moved on. She tugs at your shirt, slowly turning you around, and you can't find it in yourself to break her heart even further in this moment. Her eyes are filled with what tears have yet to stream down her face, brimming with the salty liquid you hate to see. 
Even after everything, you can't stand to see her cry. 
So, perhaps stupidly, you allow her to lean forward and rest her head against your chest; you let her fall into your arms, sinking into the embrace she never intended to miss so much. 
It was innocent. Completely, utterly innocent, but Rosé couldn't stop herself -- not when you were there again, right in front of her, looking so good it hurt. She wrapped her arms around your neck, pushing her lips against yours in a kiss you weren't prepared for at all. Her mouth moved quickly against yours, knowing you'd be shoving her away at any moment. But she was okay with being selfish again -- she needed you then, and you allowed her to keep kissing you until you realized what was happening. 
As you go to stumble away and put distance between the two of you, the door once again opens; only this time, it's actually Jennie. Her eyes immediately dart between the two of you as she notices how Rosie's hands are still holding you close, both of your lips swollen from the kiss. All at once you realize how the situation must look, and you begin panicking. You knew this was a bad idea from the start. 
"Jennie, no. I promise this isn't what you think." You shake your head, finally freeing yourself of Rosé's grip as you take a couple steps towards your girlfriend. She takes an equal amount back, scoffing lightly at the memory of the scene she just witnessed. 
"Yeah, okay," she says, sounding anything but convinced as she makes her way towards the door. You go after her, but she holds a hand up -- after knowing her for so long, you've learned that that signal means to give her some time alone. Both of you know you'll go after her again later, but she needs some time right now. As she leaves the dorm, the heavy sound of the door shutting is the only noise that cuts through the palpable tension. 
"How could you do that?" You ask, voice small, not even turning around to look at Rosé. You doubt that she's even sorry. 
She isn't sorry. At least, not for kissing you. It felt good to have you like that, and she doesn't regret it. However, from what angle of your face your side profile offers to her, she can see how upset you are. That's what makes her feel the slightest bit guilty for her timing. 
"I spent so much time trying to get you to notice me, and now you choose to do that? You're unbelievable, Roseanne-- I'm finally happy, and what, you want to ruin that?” She takes the blows as they come, staying quiet. “If you've ever cared about me at all then you'll stay away." You set your jaw, willing the tears to go away. You've wasted too many on her, and you'll be damned to look weak right now. 
"Y/N, I-" 
"No. Don't apologize when we both know you don't mean it. You've always been selfish, Rosé." You bite back, not caring if the words cut her down like her old ones always used to do to you. Earlier, before her little stunt, you were starting to feel sorry for her; clearly though, that was yet another mistake on your part. 
You leave without another word, praying that she doesn't further complicate the situation by following after you. Jennie is the only thing on your mind as you hop in your car, having an idea of where she might be.
--
"Jennie, no. I promise this isn't what you think." 
Your worried voice replays in her mind for the millionth time, further tormenting her. She's been cheated on before, so that phrase isn't a new thing to her. 
She was always afraid this would happen. She used to lay awake at night, overthinking as usual, wondering when the beautiful thing the two of you created would ultimately come crashing down. It was too good to be true, and she curses herself for foolishly believing any different. 
The better part of an hour passes by as she sits on the park bench, reminiscing on all the memories you've made here. The idea of ending things with you and starting over with someone else sinks in, and she hates the feeling. She only wants you -- she's only ever wanted you -- and the thought that things could really be over now hurts her more than she cares to admit. 
Your eyes scan across the park, ghosting over the playground equipment until they zero in on her, sitting near the fountain that you shared your first kiss. Such a sap, you smile bittersweetly. 
You ruffle through the plastic bag that sits in the passenger's seat, moving the receipt out of the way so that you can pick up what you're really after. Returning your hands to the steering wheel, you grip it while giving yourself a little pep talk before exiting the car. You press a kiss to the present in your hand for good luck, hoping this encounter will go well. 
Water spouts from the top of the fountain, the sound growing louder the closer you get to Jennie. Her back is turned to you, and for that you're thankful -- you're not quite prepared to see how she'll be looking at you. Now just a few feet away, you say, "Marry me."
You’ll do whatever it takes to show her how crazy you are about her.
Her head whips around, completely taken aback by your proposal. She thinks that there's no way you're serious, but when she looks down to find her favorite flavor of ring pop in your hand, her eyes widen. You're sick of wasting time, and seeing that she hasn't yelled at you or turned you away yet, you take advantage of the situation. 
"Marry me, Jennie," you repeat, taking small, careful steps towards her until you're right next to the bench. "She kissed me, but I tried to push her away. I told her that you're the only one for me." 
She blinks, taking in your words as she notices you nervously toy with the plastic wrapper of the candy. She knows you're telling the truth; you're a terrible liar, and you wouldn't be here right now if you didn't want her back. If you wanted to choose Rosé over her, you had the perfect opportunity to do so back at the dorm.
But you don't; you want Jennie, and now you're standing in the middle of your favorite park, proposing with a piece of candy to prove that to her. The things you do for love. 
"It just scared me, Y/N. Seeing her wrapped around you like that--"
"I know, baby. I know. But I promise I didn't want it, and it meant nothing to me. I'm so in love with you, Jennie Kim." 
She smiles at the dopey grin on your face, seeing how smitten you are. 
"Okay," she answers back, yet again looking at your hands. 
"Is that a yes?" You ask, slowly beginning to tear open the wrapper. 
"Yes, dummy. I'll marry you." She declares, nodding her head with a laugh at how slow you are sometimes. 
"Yay!" You shout, stepping forward to pick her up in your arms. You set her back down with a smile, slipping the ring onto her finger as your heart soars. 
Jennie kisses you, letting the action convey all the emotions she's been through in the past few hours. "I love you." She sighs, resting her forehead against yours. 
"I'd surely hope so, jagi," you smirk against her lips, giggling at the squeal she lets out when you playfully pinch her side. Her kisses are replacing all traces of Rosé, and she's comforted by the fact that you'll so adamantly choose her, everyday. 
With a smile, Jennie realizes something: never again will she be forced to dream of having you in another life -- her wishes came true, and now she'll have you in this one, always.
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nctsjiho · 3 years
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How Haechan And JiHo’s Friendship Evolved Over The Years [Part 1]
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[2015 | First Meeting | SM Artist Lounge, 2nd floor]
“Is this really necessary?” Jiho groaned whilst getting pushed out of the elevator by Doyoung. “Didn’t you say you don’t have many friends?” “I said in school! I don’t have many friends in school!” Jiho explained agitated. “It doesn’t matter, it’s too late to turn around.”
Doyoung then pushed open the door to SM’s private lounge where 4 boys sat talking to each other on the big couch. “Kids! This is Jiho, she’s also a 00 liner.” The four boys looked up to see Doyoung holding a girl in front of him by her shoulders. They quickly greeted the pair and then expectantly looked at Jiho for her to talk.
“My Korean... uhm, not so good.” She held her hands up in a cross while butchering her Korean pronunciation. The four boys - Mark, Donghyuck, Jeno and Jaemin - smiled awkwardly at her nodding their heads.
Before Mark could say: “It’s okay. Don’t worry.” Doyoung pushed the girl by her shoulder causing her to laugh. “Yah! Why are you like this?” Jiho looked up once more and bowed towards the four confused boys. “I was just kidding. Hi, I’m Jiho. Nice to meet you guys.” She waved and showed the boys a genuine smile which they quickly returned. The boys were relieved and laughing at the girl’s little joke.
“I thought it would be nice for you guys to get to know each other. Jiho’s pretty new and she has a hard time befriending the other girl trainees.” Jiho raised her brow listening to Doyoung’s explanation. “I don’t think that’s necessarily true but-” “If you see her around, don’t be afraid to say hi to her. She’s really nice. Most of the time.” Doyoung mumbled the last sentence this time earning a judging look from the younger girl.
Mark then stood up, motioning for the others to do so as well. “We actually have to go to practise right now, but we’d love to hang out in the future.” Mark said and Jiho nodded with a smile. “That’s fine, I’ll see you around.” She waved while the boys walked off.
Doyoung then quickly nudged the girl, urging her to tell the boys the thing she told Doyoung earlier. “Uh- Wait!” The four boys turned around to see Jiho push Doyoung’s elbow away from her side. “I actually saw you guys practise and you’re all really good dancers...” She mumbled, her fingers curling into her palms. Doyoung one again poked the girl’s side. “Also Donghyuck-ssi, I really like your voice. You’re a great singer.” She smiled and looked up to meet the boy’s gaze. His cheeks slightly flared up and he bowed his head, muttering a small thanks before they all left the room.
Jiho glared at the older boy who seemed very proud of himself. “Thanks. Now things are going to be very awkward thanks to you.” “Ah~ No problem, loved to help you.”
[2016 | Snack Shuttle | SM Practise Room ]
“When you said you’d find a way to hang out more during your busy schedule, I didn’t know I’d become your personal snack shuttle.” Doyoung walked into the practise room with a complaining Jiho by his side, holding a few white plastic bags. “I thought you wanted to hang out more?” “If this is what ‘hanging out’ is than I don’t think I’m that interested anymore.”
Johnny’s chuckles filled the room and everyone looked at him. “You start to sound like actual siblings more each time I see you together.” Doyoung and Jiho then shared a look of disgust before turning back to sorting the snacks.
“Oppa told me what all of you guys liked so I brought something for everyone.” The boy’s eyes lit up as they thanked Jiho and ran towards her and Doyoung who were still holding on to the bags.
After giving everyone what they wanted Jiho held up one more item in her hand. “Did someone ask for this snack?” Jiho asked the room holding the bag of chips up high. Doyoung took a closer look, inspecting the bag but shook his head just like the rest of the room. “I didn’t, but I know Haechan likes these.” Jiho’s eyes locked with Haechan and she held the bag out for him to take. “Jiho I thought you liked those too.” Doyoung added quickly, earning a shrug from the girl.
“Want these?” She asked the same aged boy who’s eyes had widened a bit. “You don’t have anything for yourself though, you can keep them.” Haechan carefully said but the girl just shook her head and pushed the snack into Haechan’s hands. “I have a weigh-in in 2 days. So I’ll pass this time.” A fake smile found its place on her lips and Yuta stood up to wrap an arm around her shoulders. “You’re literally tiny, why should you worry about that?” “The world is a cruel place oppa.” She sighed to which he chuckled.
Mark quickly slid his way over to Haechan and nudged the boy a few times. “How are you still this awkward around Jiho?” The older of the two stifled a laugh. “Hyung~” Haechan whined. “It’s not like that.” He added with a grumble. “Okay buddy, whatever you say.”
[2017 | Dinner Buddies | SM cafeteria]
On his way to the table where his hyungs were already eating, Haechan stopped to watch a scene unfold in front of him.
The doors to the elevator had just opened revealing a dishevelled Jiho, still wearing her school uniform, stumble into the hallway of the cafeteria. Just as she entered she spotted the other trainees walk past her. “Hey!” She held up her hand smiling towards the girls, they all stopped hesitantly and Haechan couldn’t help but catch the way some of them rolled their eyes.
“Are you already leaving? I thought we’d eat together?” Jiho smile was still plastered on her lips, seeming oblivious to the cold looks she was getting. “We already finished, you can go eat alone. See ya~” One of the older girls smirked waving at Jiho and the other girls quickly followed before they all walked away.
A deep sigh left the Jiho’s lips and her head and shoulders dropped significantly. However when two feet walked into her vision she perked up and found Haechan looking at her with a sad smile. “You saw that right?” She chuckled, trying to hide her embarrassment and he only nodded. “I guess I’ll just head out now and don’t worry, I’m used to it. That one girl really doesn’t like me.” She tried to laugh off and then turned to leave the cafeteria.
Haechan stopped her. “You haven’t eaten yet though. Come sit with us. Me and the hyungs just got here.” Jiho smiled at the offer and quickly accepted. With how hungry she was feeling she didn’t feel like taking the bus back home for 15 minutes before she could actually eat.
Not even a few moments later Haechan arrived back at the table his members were sitting, but to their surprise he was joined by the young trainee. “Jiho? What are you doing here?” Taeyong asked. “I got ditched by the other girls.” She explained and the group quickly invited her to sit down with them.
The youngest boy sat down in his original spot next to Mark and in front of Johnny and Jaehyun who all sent him teasing looks. “What?” He raised an eyebrow at the boys. “Seems like you and Jiho are getting closer.” Jaehyun hummed. “Yeah, you seemed to be having a fun conversation before you got here.” Mark mentioned, thinking of how Haechan and Jiho were laughing at something when they walked up to the table. “You guys are so annoying.” Haechan mumbled, shoving a spoonful of rice into his mouth.
[2018 | Better Girl | SM library]
Haechan dragged his feet down the hallway of the almost empty floor. It was the beginning of January so not a lot of people were working, and definitely not a lot of artist. This resulted in the, mainly artist floor to be as good as abandoned.
The poor boy was “tasked” by Mark to get him one of his notebooks which he had forgotten during his writing session with Jeno. Haechan really didn’t have to go right now, but he insisted since it meant Mark would have to buy him dinner. Yet here Haechan was, slouching and dragging his body to the right room as if he was forced against his will.
Upon opening the door he heard a soft giggle. “Oh, I’m sorry- Jiho?” He peeked his head inside finding Jiho sat at one of the tables with her phone in hand. She had her jacket tightly wrapped around her shoulders and her nose and cheeks seemed to glow the slightest tint of red. The heater in the room wasn’t on so it was freezing cold. “What are you doing here?”
Jiho looked up at the boy but the second she locked eyes with his she almost burst out laughing. “You make a better girl than I do.” She said, forcing herself to stop laughing. “What are you talking about?”
Curious about what Jiho meant he circled around the other tables so he could look over to what she was watching on her phone. “Ten oppa sent this to me.” She tilted her phone towards Haechan only for him to get hit by memories. He didn’t expect to get confronted by that red polka dot dress and long brown wig again. “OH MY GOD! Please stop watching that!” He reached for her phone and quickly turned the video off while Jiho was freely laughing.
Once the boy was calmed down he let himself fall onto the chair next to Jiho. “This is so embarrassing” He muttered into his arms, in which he was hiding his face. Jiho reached out her hand to pat the boy’s back.
“Don’t worry about it. People say I dress more like a boy, so there’s nothing wrong with wearing a dress when you’re not a girl.” She smiled. Haechan looked up, hoping that Jiho was being serious, but when he saw her trying to hide a smirk he groaned. “For real, you didn’t look too bad, if I do say so myself.”
This caused Haechan to look up and smile as well. “Yeah, I looked pretty good right?” He said in a cocky way prompting Jiho to chuckle. “You looked fabulous.” She complimented in an exaggerated tone. The two then shared a big wordless smile before they went on to do their own things again.
---
PART 2
Side Note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY HAECHAN 🌻☀🐻
idk if you guys mind long posts, I just decided to cut it here and do 2018-2021 (post JiHo’s debut) in a second post to keep the length of all my posts on my blog similar. It’s possible though that part 2 is going to be a bit long, since I don’t know how much I’ll be writing for it
fun fact: I save my little collages (btw those photo’s of Haechan are soooo pretty i’m getting bias wrecked SO hard) on my laptop with the member x JiHo’s shipnames, I suck at choosing shipnames tho. So Haechan and JiHo’s shipname is HyuckHo atm, which I both hate and think is kinda cute/funny at the same time. I also thought about JiChan, JiHae or HaeJi but idk
that was just a little unnecessary insider information
I hope you have a good day/evening/night!! <3
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cherry-gemz · 3 years
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Summary: This is a continuation of the movie Before We Go and my interpretation and imagination of an A/U. Brooke is you (Y/N) and Nick is still Nick :)
Prompt: "Just admit that I'm right." for @the-ce-horniest-book-club Drunk Drabbles for Nick Vaughan.
Pairings: Nick Vaughan x Y/N
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: <2k...is this a drabble still? Oopsies XD
A/N: I watched this movie for the first time just last week. It's now one of my top 3 Cevans movies! While I'm all for a romantic, serendipitous, spontaneous trope...much like Before Sunrise *no spoilers*, the ending was great, but I wanted a different spin. No pressure...yah, right! Either way, hope you enjoy xx.
Tags: @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss @tonystankschild @a-little-counter-esperanto
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You sniff and rub the end of your coat sleeve with your nose. Had to be the chill in the air, you thought. Not the fact that you just spent the most amazing and life changing night with a man you just met hours before and it was ending.
You stare out the train’s window; the gentle hum of the cart gliding across the steel tracks echoed in your thoughts. You shook your head in thinking that you made a mistake. I should have stayed...I should have told him how I felt…
“Nick. It's you again. Listen. I want to give you one more piece of advice. You're gonna be playing one night... Grand Central... thinking of every reason in the world to not go see the girl that broke your heart. Then, you're gonna meet somebody. And now, at first, she's gonna seem… icy. You're gonna know right away she's trouble. She's gonna take all your money. You're probably gonna get punched in the face. But stay with her; you're gonna need her a lot more than she needs you. And at the end of the night, you're gonna want to say some things, but don't. Don't ruin it. It's nothing she doesn't already know. Just give her a kiss. Wish her good luck. And thank her. Thank her for showing you that you can love more than one person in this life.”
He was unbelievably charming. You said so yourself. His raw talent with the trumpet was beautiful and different from what you were used to. The suburbia of the Boston bubble was what you were forced to live in now. You were from London, you were cultured and refined. Sure things with Michael were exciting at first, but the ho hum of the daily diatribe of routine became loathsome. Dépaysement. But you still never wavered in your marriage. Unlike Michael who had crossed that sacred line and lost your trust. It wasn't even fully the physical aspect that he went to another woman. It was the intimacy of telling her his deepest desires and then some that hurt the most. That he would want to share that with anyone else but you. But tonight. Tonight was what made you see clearly.
"It's possible, isn't it? It's possible that you could meet somebody who's perfect for you even though you're committed to somebody else," you asked as you bit your lip.
"No, no, see, I think if you're committed to somebody, you don't allow yourself to find perfection in someone else."
You found yourself blushing and cupping your cheek in thoughts of Nick. He was right. The whole night was a cluster mess of you trying to get home before Michael so you'd be able to throw away that wretched note. That he'd come to his senses and forget Linny. That he'd realized he was a fool and you'd start over. Just like old times.
However, slowly that feeling of reconciliation faded away little by little as each hour in the city passed. You couldn't pinpoint it exactly, but somehow the scrappy trumpet player Nick Vaughan etched his way into your icy heart and left an impression and stayed.
His fluffy, dark hair - so soft and inviting for you to rake your fingers through it was enough to drive you mad. His scruffy beard, which tickled when you kissed. You already loved ghosting your palms over it softly and imagined being able to do it whenever you wished. He said earlier into the night you weren't his type; you scoffed, but we're annoyed that it bothered you. You were a classic model of what guys were into, looks wise. Sure, your attitude was what rubbed some people the wrong way, but Americans really were too sensitive.
He however...he was the full package. Every toothy grin, wink, and full hearty laugh. He was addicting. He was a dead ringer for a heartthrob, but you also couldn't hate the guy for it. He was the friend you'd call to bail you out of jail at 4am and the boyfriend that you could see settling down with. It was nauseating really.
And then his lips. His soft lips...you can’t believe you kissed him in the hotel room. And then again at the train station. But you would have kicked yourself for not doing so in the first place. The way your fingers interlaced themselves on his terry cloth robe, how desperately you wanted to press your body against his. All you wanted was for him to feel that burning need within the apex between your thighs and extinguish it all night. But it was more than that, he was what you were missing. But you were kidding yourself. You weren’t running to Michael, you were running away from Nick.
But why? Because of the unknown? Because he actually knew who you were deep down inside? How could a man you barely knew, change you? Change what you thought was true, what you thought was love?
You dove your hand into your wool jacket’s pockets to push any thoughts of self-doubt, when you realize there was a piece of cardstock. You were puzzled to find it and immediately smiled in recognizing the hotel survey card. You bit your lip as you read down the survey questions one by one and notice Nick’s handwriting at the bottom, ‘turn over’ with an arrow.
Curious you turn over the hotel card and he’s written the word ‘yes’. Yes? You furrow your brow and contemplate further what he would be saying yes to. You think about the night - the time at the bar, helping him with Hannah, when you went to the psychic reading. Yes? What in the world - and then you turn the card back over and realize that on the second to last question it asked “Will you be likely to return?”
None of the boxes are checked, but he’d written ‘yes’ on the back. Yes. Yes he’ll return? Where? To the hotel? But when? You look up and rush to think about stopping the train dead in its tracks to return back to Grand Station. You breathe out heavily and come to terms that this isn’t a movie. He’s not chasing you down the tracks, jumping on the train to find you. Or is he? You wouldn’t put it past him. The whole night was filled with serendipitous concourses, this would be icing on the cake. You dart your head around to see if he’s in the cable car. It’s like in every rom com movie ending, the man of your dreams will be right there. He’s somehow charmed his way into boarding the train and found you waiting like a princess in her high tower. The train car is dark and bleak, only a few passengers are riding it as it’s the first route to Boston on a Sunday. You peer over to see if he’s in the next cart, but alas he is not. You slump in your seat and rub your thumb methodically over his words.
"Have you ever had a feeling that somebody was going to play a major part in your life?” you ask.
“Yeah."
“Do you know the most interesting thing about hotel art? It's what's on the back.”
It’s then you realize you have to return to New York. This story wasn’t about you and Michael anymore. No, it was about the man who selflessly helped you while you were in need, not only at your dire hour, but metaphorically as well. This was meant to be. You were meant to miss your train, break your phone, and meet the handsome man named Nick Vaughn. You knew he’d still be in the city because of his audition for the day with Duke at least, if you could just get to him somehow...
*
Your knees bounced as you sat on a cushioned chair in the hotel lobby. You had planned to wait there all day, but then realized the $13 train ticket was your only way of providing you security back home. So you went home. Confronted Michael. Cursed, cried, and then relief rushed over you as he had read your letter and how you knew about the affair. How you wanted to throw fists on his chest and tell him how much you hated him. But once you saw him, you found it didn't matter to you anymore. Someone else was worth fighting for. Your marriage was over. The hatred and spite you once had for your husband had dissipated. Your world didn't end like you thought it would. This wasn't your only chance at love. You were choosing to be happy, whether it was with Nick or not. This was the first time you were going to jump without having a net.
And Nick was wrong. Michael didn't want to work things out, he was coming to tell you that he loved you, but that and he'd be returning to Atlanta for good. The house, car, everything was yours: Nick said so himself, you gotta be okay with not being okay. So you walked away. You made the choice just like the psychic said and took it in stride, you faced the music.
However now you found yourself back in New York. Not the once stranded woman at a crossroads less than 24 hours before, but the woman that made a choice. You were worried that Nick would see it as you running away again. Running away because Michael didn't choose you. But in reality you didn't choose each other.
Still without an ID, you took your car and better against the four hour drive to the city and hoped a cop wouldn't pull you over. You thought of the night in the hotel. The laughs, the closeness you two encountered. The playful and cheeky way he could make you feel seen. You were starting to get nervous, what if he doesn't show up? What if I missed my chance?
"I'm an idiot," you murmur to yourself. "I can't believe I'm here."
You stand up and realize there Nick was there in your path. He looked a little worn, obviously from staying up all night. But he had changed and showered from the looks of it, and his signature trumpet case held in his hand.
"Well look who it is. The biggest loser in New York."
You laughed and blushed at the sight of him. He slung his trumpet case over his broad shoulder and walked over to close the gap.
“Just admit that I’m right.”
"Admit what?" You ask as you find yourself touching his jacket sleeve.
"Admit that you couldn't get enough of me." You hitched a breath from his words.
"You can say that."
"I can't believe you came back," he responded. His blue eyes gazed into yours as he brushed away a tendril of hair from your face.
"I read your answer to the survey...on the back."
"The stay did exceed my expectations and I did say I would return," he smiles.
"And here you are."
"Here I am…" he pulls away slightly as he's reminded that you're married.
"I jumped," you replied.
He's taken back by your statement and furrows his brow.
"What? With what?"
"I told Michael it was over."
"Wow. I'm so...sorry, Y/N."
"Don't be. You said so yourself, at some point it was time to face the music."
He nodded, absorbing the information.
"Say what's in your head."
He shook his head and grinned,"I'm just glad you came back is all."
"Yeah? How'd you know?"
"I didn't. Just sure as hell hoped you would."
He intertwines your fingers with his and holds tight. Like a missing puzzle piece found, your hand fits perfectly with his.
"Whaddya say we get out of here?"
"What do you have in mind?"
"I may know a place," he smiles devilishly and gives your knuckles a kiss.
You grab his dress shirt collar and turn him towards you. He runs his hands through your hair and places his lips upon yours, kissing you deeply. It's a kiss so passionate, so perfect - that after you part, neither open your eyes for a few moments afterwards and he embraces you tightly.
"Good, because I'm not going anywhere."
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ggukkiedae · 3 years
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[vlive 210522] Seri’s Seritonin 🥝🐱
9pm kst
italics = english; seri answering questions!
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the vlive starts with seri logging on and waving
she’s playing new rules in the background and staying quiet for the first two minutes
“moa! how are you all?”
she smiles and reads through the comments
she reads a few out loud and sees a few comments asking her to say i love you in different languages, to which she complies to
she turns off her music first and fixes herself in her chair
“bet you guys are wondering why i’m live today, huh? we’ll get to that in a bit. for now, let’s answer questions”
she looks through the comments carefully until she reads one out loud
Seriiiiiii! 5 Beomgyus or 5-year-old Beomgyu?
she laughs at this
“maybe a five year old bammie. he always makes a big deal of being older than me by a few months, so it would be good pay back”
she then pulls out her phone and scrolls through it before turning it towards the screen. it was a picture of beomgyu as a kid
“see this? he sent this to our groupchat the other day. tiny gyu is cute”
how are youuuuuu?
she claps her hands together and smiles at the live
“i’m doing great, thank you! i’ve been practicing harder, and i feel pretty good”
she scrolls through the comments again and takes a sip of her drink. she lightly mixes her drink around and places it back down
“you guys should try peach tea. it’s a godsend. oh, what’s this?”
shall we go on a date?
“you didn’t turn up at our last date”
she pouted a little and laughed
“i waited at the rooftop for a while, but you didn’t show up! but i guess we can go again because you’re moa”
she shifts a little and shakes her head amusedly at her own words
“do i sound like gyu?”
Hi Seri! I have a couple questions 😊 What has been your favorite era music wise and style wise? What hair style/color do you want to try? What's your current favorite song? What are you looking forward to most?
her eyes widened a little before she looks up trying to come up with answers to the series of questions
“oh, wow, i guess you could say i really liked our songs from the minisode album, but my favorite title track is run away for sure. actually, i take that back. i like the songs on dream chapter magic the most! in terms of style... dream chapter magic as well! i really like new rules’ styling especially”
a small smile makes its way to her face as she’s about to answer the last question from that comment
“right now, i’m really looking forward to our new album, and i hope you’ll like it as well! so far, the tracks are amazing!”
any plans for a comeback with the royals?
“i don’t know” she laughs and looks off camera “what do you think?”
yoonmi’s giggle can be heard while seri just laughed
“you exposed me! anyway, we’ll see when the three of us get an opportunity again” “you guys heard yoonmi”
seri takes the live and points it to the side, revealing the magenta-haired girl peacefully sitting in the dance studio near her while working on something on her laptop
“yoonmi is working on school stuff even if she just released a song yesterday” “responsibilities”
Seri baby are you aware that Seri sounds like berry? Therefore you are now berry Seri or Seri Berry 🤔
“oh, that’s cute! seri berry... i love it! i’m a berry now! i can replace strawberries, i don’t like strawberries”
she wrinkled her nose at the thought of the red berries as the sound of a chair moving came up. seri looked off camera and waved to, supposedly, yoonmi
“yoonmi has a meeting right now, so she’s off. anyway, back to our live”
Hiya Seri how are you liking the new building? What do you think has changed the most about you since you became an idol? And out of the members who do you think has changed most since you debuted?
“the new building is actually the best thing ever, i swear! there’s a lot of space, and the facilities are all high quality! honestly, i’m the only txt member who doesn’t get lost, so it’s pretty funny when the others have to ask for my help to walk around”
she then pressed her lips into a tight line while thinking about her next answer
“since becoming an idol... i think i became more confident. the others tell me this a lot. they say every comeback my stage presence gets better, and i look more comfortable? i also became a better dancer for sure. not the best yet, but i’m working on it. also maybe kai? first of all, he’s gotten way taller now. second, he’s been more mature. yes, he’s still our baby, but he handles things a lot more maturely now. sometimes he acts like he’s older than me as well”
hi bestieeeeeee! what do you think you’d be doing if you weren’t an idol?
“hey, bestie! musical theatre for sure!”
seri immediately perked up at this. she jumped back in her seat a little with the biggest grin while remembering her experiences
“i loved it back in school! honestly, my parents were pretty supportive about my involvement in theatre and my little brother kinda brags to his friends that his sister goes on stages to perform. it’s kinda cute”
would you consider acting? or maybe starring in a musical?
“oh for sure if i were given the chance!”
you dance amazingly! your artist of the month video with studio choom was absolutely perfect!!!!
“oh my god”
she covered her face and groaned before pulling out her phone and looking for the video on youtube. before pressing play, she looked back to the camera
“thank you, but i’m a little embarrassed about this. i wore red lipstick on stage for the first time after debut, and i showed a side of me that’s pretty different…”
she pressed play and watched the video, cringing at herself. it took a whole 20 seconds before she gave up and hid her phone behind her
“nope. nevermind, i can’t watch that. thank you, i’m glad you enjoyed it”
thoughts on the people you’re being shipped with? 👀
she burst into laughter upon reading this
“ah, yes. shipping. i see you guys on stan twitter with your little edits and headcanons and aus! honestly, it’s amusing. apparently most of you ship me with gyu and seungmin? and a few other people, too?”
she was quiet for a while like thinking about who moas shipped her with. she shook her head with and began talking again
“gyu... well, bammie’s my best friend, and i love him a lot. it’s been us from the very beginning, so i like to think we’ll be as close as ever until the end”
“seungmin is the bane of my existence”
she laughed at this before waving her hand
“kidding! he’s actually really nice, and i love hanging out with him, it just so happens our friendship is based on bickering. we do support each other though. seungmin, if you see this, you did well on love poem”
she then lit up as if just remembering something
“some of you guys ship me with chaeryoung! interesting considering you all see me as ryujin’s sibling, but please, i’m not worthy of the queen herself. i love chae with all my heart honestly she’s such a sweet child”
her phone buzzed and she glanced at it a little bit before turning back to the live
“perfect timing because hyunsuk just messaged me and some special ship mentions are hyunsuk and jeno oppa. i think it’s because i hang out with hyunsuk’s little siblings a lot. but jeno oppa? we just met earlier this year, it’s a little funny how apparently a lot of people ship us when we haven’t really shown our friendship much”
she typed something one her phone before chuckling and shutting it off once again. she looked through the comments until she found the topic she was looking for
What’s up with you and Dino? 👀👀👀
“ah, this. this brings me to the reason i went live. recently, you guys have seen me and dino oppa hanging out, right? well, we’re not dating. i wanted it to be a surprise, but he’s helping me with something for my birthday, and i agreed to do something with him for their youtube as well”
her phone rang, and she laughed before picking it up and putting it on speaker
“hello? you’re on speaker” “seri-yah! how dare you deny our relationship?” “oh? you’re watching?” “look up, stupid. i’m standing by the door”
she looked off camera and laughed
“yah! oppa, what are you doing here?” “miya told me you were gonna talk about the scandal, so i thought why not come early?”
dino appears next to seri in a mask and a hat. he nudged seri over to the side so they could both be centered on screen, making her raise her eyebrow at him
“meet my new dance partner” dino points towards seri whose eyes widen as soon as he said that
“they don’t know yet!” “you said we were working on two things together!” “but they didn’t know one of them is dance!” “might as well tell them so we can clear up this rumor before i get attacked by moas”
she sighed at him
“i’d get attacked by carats. anyway, fine. dino oppa’s helping me with a song, and he’s making me dance with him for a video. you can look forward to this in july”
dino adjusted his hat and leaned forward a little
“no need to panic, we’re not in a romantic relationship. she’s too tall for me”
“... you’re literally taller than me though?” “not by that much. if you wear heels, we’d be the same height, and i don’t think i’m up for that”
she playfully rolled her eyes
“looks like i’ve discussed what needed to be cleared up now. i’m single. single.” “yes, they get the point” “oh, would you just go already?”
she was pretending to push him away while he laughed at her failed attempts. he moved off camera but stays in the room
“no way, we’ve got to work the choreography out today”
“this is gonna be a while,” she muttered before smiling at the live once again “well, time for me to go. i’ve got a lot of work to do to be on par with a member of seventeen’s performance team”
dino’s groaning could be heard from the side
“this again?”
she laughed
“bye moa! hopefully that cleared things up, and hopefully you enjoyed this little tmi session”
-end-
37 notes · View notes
mgsdays · 3 years
Note
Thank u for always being so sweet and insightful with your asks!!! i love you 🥰
AnYWAYSs, I wanted to ask you a question particular to the timeline of 19days. We have about 300+ chaps of current flashbacks and present time. Do you think, little by little, we will see more present time dynamics? I know this is the SLOWEST of slow burns and I’m wondering that maybe this is how OX wanted to write; maybe they wanted to show that the past is a reflection of their current present selves? Idk im just rambling here but I think that the past connects to their future selves; it explains to us WHY ZZX and JY have that dynamic in the current time, why MGS and HT still banter, etc. i think OX shows us flashbacks from the past to let us understand how these characters really FEEL about their love interest. its a very interesting way to show character development. I think all these flashbacks are building up to something- I don’t know what but they seem really important and we still dont know HOW JY and HT left so yah thats my theory. What do you think? Another question; how do you think MGS and ZZX will realize their feelings in the future time? A lot of the OX art, as you said, shows these boys comfortably loving their partners so Im wondering as well 🤔 We even see HT and MGS with the couple rings so will we see that too?? I hope we do :(( I think it makes sense that we’ll see them as partners eventually- I mean, we have seen a lot of character development till now with only 300 chaps. Little by little, I think we’re gonna get the end product ☺️
I just hope Im alive to see it happen!
Hey love! Thank you for the message, you were so sweet 😊
I am… more pessimistic about future chapters. More than you, in either case haha
I believe we are building up to the boys leaving, but I do not believe we will see much of a future where the couples have figured things out. I’d love to be proven wrong, just to make it clear, but I don’t think so.
I love your point about the past being a reflection of their futures selves. My theory is that the past chapters serve as a way for Old Xian to give us enough info to presume what happens in the future. Kind of a ‘fill in the blanks’ kind of thing. The past chapters show us the boys’ desires and fears and they explain the motivation behind the boys’ actions. The little snippets into their lives allow us to understand a lot about the characters.
They also give Old Xian a way to write a BL without ever really going there.
Chinese censorship is strong. I don’t think we understand the extent of it from the outside. Some BL authors have been sent to jail. There’s a news story from Nov. 2020 that Mo Xiang Tong Xiu, author of the novel for The Untamed, has been sentenced to 3 years. The details of the case, if true, were not disclosed and we don’t know if they were found guilty or not. A woman who wrote a gay themed novel was sentenced to ten years, that one we know for a fact. China allegedly decided to pull The Untamed from streaming services and to halt production of shows that were being made based on BL books.
This is serious deal. Nothing even happens in those stories. The Untamed is based in a romance novel but it completely removed all explicit romance references for the show. Nothing happens it was still pulled! (after it was done! You make zero yuans by censoring a show that already exists. And yet…).
It really sounds like China is cracking down on content that goes against their morality code. Imagine you’re an artist there. Would you risk everything to make your characters date?
For Old Xian, their art is their livelihood. They make 19 days for the exposure and then use their official platforms to post ads that they draw through Mosspaca Advertising Company. If Old Xian explicitly drew the boys in relationships they’d be risking that platform and could even be putting themselves in danger. (Sometimes Old Xian draws relatively tame art and still deletes and reposts an even tamer version. Old Xian is impacted by censorship. The exposure they have doesn’t necessarily mean they’ll be safe. Imagine them drawing two explicit relationships.)
TL; DR:
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Or, TL;DR: HT and JY leave before the boys have enough time to figure things out. The past gives Old Xian plenty of room to write a beautiful story without crossing censorship laws, and leave us to fill in the blanks about their future.
About how I think it happens, I answered earlier today about zhanyi. For tianshan, I think they get together without Mo ever confessing, exactly. In the future Mo has been aware of He Tian’s feeling for forever. Mo knows. I’ll die on this hill. He knows. When Mo really goes through puberty, really starts experiencing desire himself, I think all of his wants unavoidably circle back to HT. Mo would be somewhat aware of his own feelings for years. 
After HT comes back, one day Mo is just so tired of the frustration, the tension between them, He Tian’s years apart, everything, that Mo just kisses He Tian.
He Tian’s surprised for five seconds. 
Then he catches up. 
He pushes in until he has Mo pressed against a wall. Mo’s gasping, a filthy sound echoing low in the space between them, Mo’s fingers sink into He Tian’s hair for the trouble, pulling tight against He Tian’s scalp. It only spurs He Tian on, He Tian groans against Mo’s lips and presses in even harder- rest is history. Mo allows their dynamic to shift from there. 
I think the sexual part may be easier for Mo to deal with in the future than his own feelings. They stay in this kind of relationship for a long time. 
I imagine X many years into it Mo blurts out his love like it’s obvious, like they both have know about it for forever. I loved this text post. I imagine something like this, Mo says he loves He Tian while cursing He Tian out for whatever and saying a million other things. He Tian freezes in the doorway. He knew but still. Hearing it out loud makes his heart race in his chest. Mo loves him, Mo loves him, Mo loves him. He Tian would be whistling to himself the rest of the year. Mo would find it the most annoying thing ever.
(But, secretly, he’d like it. Mo would like being able to make He Tian feel this way, a warmth blossoming on Mo’s chest at the thought.)
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vintagedolan · 4 years
Text
nine months (gbd)
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having grayson’s baby is a dream come true for both of you, and he does everything he can to make it the absolute best experience that he can for you
word count: 11k (hahahaha fuck)
warnings/tags: the fluffiest fluff that has ever fluffed okay, seriously I don’t think I could have made this any softer, pregnancy, mentions of pregnancy things (morning sickness, weight gain, etc.)
feel free to send in requests! i’ll write most things! hope you enjoy :)
january
8 days late. You were 8 days late. A few days here or there would have you a bit edgy, but it had never been this long before. And you just had an instinct that this time, it wasn’t a scare. You were almost positive that you were pregnant. You weren’t opposed to having kids - you knew that you and Grayson wanted to be parents together, and that you were going to spend the rest of your lives together. You decided to let things run naturally, and if something happened then it happened. But something about the reality of having to go out and actually buy a pregnancy test had your mouth dry. Were you actually ready for this?
But as soon as that thought came, there was another. Grayson was going to be over the moon about this whole thing. All he ever wanted was to be a father, and you knew he was going to be amazing. He would make up for any of your shortcomings and then some. With that newfound confidence, you grabbed your purse and decided to head out to the store.
“Where yah goin’?” Grayson’s voice came from the dining room table where he was working as you tried to scurry past him. You hadn’t thought of an alibi. Were you supposed to tell him? No. You didn’t want to get his hopes up if your instincts were wrong.  
“Just running to the store. Cause I need some stuff. From the store.”
Fuck. Nice one. 
“Okay....” he trailed off, obviously suspicious. “You alright?”
“Yep, perfectly fine. I’ll be back soon, love you bye!” You blew him a kiss and escaped out the door before you said anything else damning. 
This was going to be interesting.
Your fingers were tapping away on your steering wheel the whole drive to the local drug store, trying to think of what the hell you were going to do. Should you surprise him? Plan out a big elaborate thing? Or maybe you should just tell him? Should you have told him you were going to get a test? But what if it was negative? He’d be so sad.
With your head spinning, it was a miracle you even made it to the store. But you pulled in and headed to the aisle you never needed to go to, grabbing a few tests and going to pay for them, trying to convince yourself that no one was staring at you. The cashier offered you a soft smile and it actually calmed you down slightly as you headed back to the car. 
In order to make it a little less suspicious, you decided to get some coffee and bring it home for the both of you. You didn’t have to pee yet, and you knew you’d go crazy at home if you had to wait, so you went to your favorite local shop and got your usual along with Gray’s and Ethan’s. 
The drive home was quick, but you chugged it as fast as you could, wanting it to hit you before you got back. You stashed the tests under your shirt so that Gray wouldn’t see, and tried to walk as casually as you could back into the house. 
“I brought coffee!” You called out. If you directed the conversation, then maybe you wouldn’t get blindsided and give something away.
“I thought you were going to the store?” Gray asked. He was still in the same spot at the kitchen counter, and when you looked at his screen he was working on some new promotional posts for Wakeheart. Good. That would keep him busy.
“They didn’t have what I needed, figured I’d get some while I was out,” you smiled, passing him his cup. He leaned up towards you, asking for a kiss. You gave him a quick one before going to throw your cup away.
“You already drank yours? You’re gonna be bouncing off the walls in about 20 minutes,” Grayson teased. He knew how you got with too much caffeine. 
“I already feel jittery,” you laughed. It wasn’t a lie, but it definitely wasn’t from the coffee - you’d actually gotten decaf, remembering somewhere that caffeine wasn’t good for babies. You walked back to the room you and Grayson shared, not realizing until you got there that you still had Ethan’s coffee in your hand. 
It didn’t matter, if you didn’t take the test right then you were pretty sure you were going to explode. So you sat the drink down on the desk, locked yourself in the bathroom and pulled the two tests out from their hiding places. 
Peeing on a stick was just as awkward as you thought it would be, but you were proud that you got it on the first try. 
And now, you just had to wait. Three minutes had never taken longer in your entire life, you were sure. But, you’d made sure to buy the tests that would clearly say one way or the other so there was no guess work. You tried to keep yourself calm, foot tapping as you watched the seconds click by on the timer you set. In just a few minutes, you were going to know if your instincts were right.
By the thirty second mark, you were hovering over the tests, watching the electronic bar load, flashing on the final stage. And then, the first one turned, revealing one word.
Pregnant. 
“Holy fuck.” 
You’d known. But now you knew. And holy shit. You were actually pregnant. The second test turned then, yielding the same result. There was no denying it.
The butterflies in your gut were overwhelming and you sunk to the floor, a hand going over your tummy. There was baby in there. And it was Grayson’s baby. You felt like you could scream, or cry, or explode. 
“I’ve gotta tell Gray,” you mumbled to yourself. You wanted to do something special, but you also knew that there was no way you were going to plan an entire elaborate reveal - you’d break and tell him early. Something simple, something quick, but still something Grayson...
It clicked. Building. You immediately started searching on your phone for what you needed, deciding that you’d use his projector to put it on the wall. But should you film it? You didn’t want it to be a production deal, but a larger part of you wanted to have the footage of such a special moment. And you wanted it to be good quality, but you didn’t know how to work a camera for shit. 
You needed Ethan. You quickly stashed the tests in a bathroom drawer and reached for your phone, pulling up your texts with Ethan.
Come to Grayson’s room, don’t be suspicious, bring a camera, don’t ask questions
You knew he would be confused, but you also knew that he would do it. You got excited all over again when you thought about telling Ethan the news. He was your best friend - hell, he was your brother, and you knew he was going to be over the moon for you. 
It wasn’t five minutes later when he snuck in, closing the door and looking at you in confusion.
“What the hell is going on? Are you pranking him? Because if you are I so want in,” Ethan grinned. He was already filming - you wondered if you looked as wild on camera as you felt.
“Oh jesus please don’t make him think this is a prank. E, I need you to set up that camera so that you can see this wall with the projector. And then I need you to leave and not ask me any questions.” 
If he started prying, you knew you’d tell him, and you’d feel terrible that Grayson wouldn’t be the first one to know.
“Okay... are you alright? You’re acting weird, you’ve got me a little worried.” Ethan frowned a bit, concern on his face.
“I promise I’m fine. And I’ll tell you what’s going on as soon as I can. I swear,” you said, offering him the most reassuring smile that you could muster.
“I’m holding you to that,” he muttered, setting up the camera in a good place and making sure it was recording before heading back to his room. Once he was cleared out of the room, you pulled up the picture you wanted onto the projector.
It was a wooden crib, simple but cute. And it would serve its purpose, which was all that mattered. Once you had it as you wanted, you turned the projector back off so you could pull it up at the right time. Then, you grabbed one of the positive tests and hid it in the waistband of your shorts. 
Trying to keep it together, you poked your head out of the door, willing yourself to do your best acting.
“Hey Gray?” You called out.
“Yeah baby?” From the sound of it he was still in the kitchen.
“Can you c’mere for a sec?” 
“Comin’,” he responded. You felt like your legs were going to give out. Your whole lives were about to change in the next few minutes. He came in casually, rubbing at his hair. “What’s up?”
“Well. I wanted to ask you if you’d do something for me,” you said. He quirked an eyebrow, crossing his arms. He was suspicious, but that was bound to happen.
“Okay....” 
“It’s nothing bad, it’s just that I don’t know how to build it, but I think that you’d do it really well,” you explained. He relaxed a bit at that, leaning into you a bit more before wrapping an arm around your shoulder. 
“Well now I’m excited. Show me,” he grinned - you were glad you’d picked this as the way you’d tell him, he got so excited about building.
With a deep breath, you turned on the projector, the picture of the crib popping up. You looked up to watch his face. As you expected, he was immediately confused. 
“What even is that? Is that a bed?” He let go of you, moving to the wall and looking at it even closer. “It looks like a crib, with all the bars on the sides and stuff.”
“Yeah, I know it’s complicated. But you’ve got about nine months to get it done, so no rush or anything.” You were beaming, just waiting for the moment it would click. 
“9 months? Why would I need 9 mo-”
You watched the realization come across his face, his mouth opening slightly into a little ‘o’, and then his expression turned to disbelief. Any of your nerves faded away as you realized this was all you ever wanted - having a kid with the man that you loved more than anything. You relaxed fully, trying to take it all in. 
“No. No fucking way. No way.”
“Yes way,” you laughed.
“You are not. Is this a prank? Are you pranking me?” He was frozen to the spot he had turned at.
“I wouldn’t prank about something like this.”
“You’re pregnant? You’re actually pregnant?!” 
“We’re having a baby,” you exclaimed, reaching for the test and pulling it out where he could see. That got his feet moving, and he only had to look at it for a second before he had his arms around you and you were both spinning around. You weren’t sure you could remember a time where you were happier. 
It was good that you knew Grayson would never drop you because suddenly the two of you were sinking, and you realized he was sitting down on the floor, squeezing you to him in the tightest of hugs. It took a minute for you to register the wetness on your shoulder, and when you pulled back slightly, you realized that Grayson was crying.
“Oh baby, don’t cry, you’re gonna make me cry!” It was too late - you were already tearing up, but both of you had the biggest smiles across your faces. 
“I’m sorry, I’m just so fucking happy right now. This is all I’ve ever wanted,” he said, voice cracking a little bit. You pulled him back to you, and the two of you rocked back and forth together, bodies close. It could have been minutes, it could have been hours; neither of you knew, or cared. 
Grayson was the first to speak up, and the questions started flowing.
“Have you told anyone else? When did you even find out?! Do we need to go to a doctor? Oh we definitely need to take you to the doctor.” 
“Relax baby, I just found out like 5 minutes before I told you, I went to the store to get tests cause my period was late. We’ll get an appointment made, I already have a gyno. And no, I haven’t told anybody.”
“Holy shit. So just you and me know? I gotta tell Ethan! I gotta tell my mom!” He was already shifting, starting to stand up. You let him lift you, but you caught his hand. 
“We should probably wait until we go to the doctor and get everything checked out before we tell everyone,” you cautioned. 
He looked a bit puzzled. You hated to damper his mood even a little bit, but you weren’t ready for the whole world to know about a pregnancy that seemed so fragile to you. It clicked for him, and he immediately put a hand to your stomach, fingers splaying out over soft skin.
“You’re right.” He nodded his head, still looking down at your stomach in awe. There was an unspoken question that you knew he was biting his tongue on.
“We’re definitely telling Ethan though, for sure. Like right now,” you smiled. Grayson looked up, beaming.
“Oh thank god, there was no way I could keep this from him.”
“I have an idea,” you grinned, explaining it to him quickly. He agreed that it was perfect, and went to get the camera that had been recording the two of you so that he could capture this too.
You went over to the long forgotten coffee that you’d brought home for Ethan. It was cold now, but you could microwave it. You grabbed a sharpie from the desk, scribbling what you wanted on the cup before taking Grayson’s hand and leading him to the kitchen. You popped it in the microwave - it wouldn’t be great, but that wasn’t really the point - and Grayson set up the camera. Once everything was done, you and Grayson exchanged a giddy glance before setting it into motion.
“Ethan! C’mere!” You called out.
“What do you want!?” He yelled back in his typical I-don’t-wanna-get-up tone.
“Just c’mere real quick, I forgot to give you something!” 
Grayson was giggling next to you, trying to keep it together.
“Alright, I’m comin’,” he called out, and a few moments later he was in the kitchen. “What’s up?”
“I forgot to give you your coffee earlier, here,” you smiled, handing him the cup. He took it gratefully, though he was giving you the when the hell are you going to explain earlier look as subtlety as he could with Grayson still in the room. 
“Dude, what does your cup even say? They totally spelled your name wrong,” Grayson said, unable to wait any longer for his brother to notice. Ethan held the cup up a bit so he could read the writing on the side.
Uncle Eteeweetee 
“Haha very funny, eteeweetee, you got me.” He rolled his eyes, taking a sip. 
“Wait, what exactly does it say?” You asked. Grayson was giggling beside you.
“It says ‘uncle eteeweetee’, which is just fucking stupid.” He looked a bit peeved, knowing he was missing the joke. “What? What’s so funny about Uncle?” 
“What if I told you that the big news I couldn’t tell you earlier was that you actually are an uncle? Or at least, you will be in about nine months.” Now you were beaming. Ethan figured it out immediately, sitting the coffee cup down.
“You’re joking. No fuckin way, are you joking? You’re pregnant?!” 
You nodded, and before you knew it he had you wrapped up in a hug. You squeezed him back and then let him go to his brother. They held each other tight for a minute, and though their words were a bit muffled you caught the end of it.
“I’m so fuckin’ happy for you bro. You deserve this,” was what Ethan said, and you couldn’t have agreed more. 
february
Oh you were definitely pregnant. Even without the tests, or the doctor’s visit or the missed period, you would have been 100% sure by now. This had become your morning routine, and you hated every minute of it. 
Right around 6am on the dot you’d wake up, a thin sheen of cold sweat on you and a churning in your stomach. You threw yourself onto your feet, running towards the bathroom and immediately hurling up anything you had left in you. Usually it wasn’t much, and that somehow made it worse. Your throat was sore from the bile morning after morning. It usually took you a good twenty minutes to get everything up, and another five after that for your stomach to settle. 
Each morning, at the feeling of you leaving the bed, Grayson was right behind you. He’d hold your hair back with one hand, other hand gentle and soft as they rubbed over your back. You knew how much he hated being around people throwing up, but he never even flinched. 
When your stomach would finally empty, you’d come down off your knees onto your butt, leaning your weight back against him. 
“This shit sucks,” you said one particular morning, fully exhausted.
“I’m sorry baby, I wish I could fix it,” Grayson murmured, kissing your temple. 
“I feel disgusting,” you grumbled, turning a bit and nuzzling into his neck. 
“You wanna shower?” 
Usually, you weren’t a morning shower type of person, but between the vomit and the sweat, it had become normal as well.
“Too tired,” you said, curling up into him. The fatigue was real these days, and you occasionally felt bad for being so lazy. Grayson would have none of it, reminding you that not only were you growing body parts with your body, but you were also still doing more than Ethan was on the daily. 
“I’ll do the work. C’mon pretty girl, let’s get you cleaned up.”
And he really did all the work, from stripping you down to washing your hair and body, then drying you off and handing you a toothbrush. 
“I’ll get some clothes while you brush,” he said, pressing a kiss to your shoulder as he disappeared. You were grateful for the minty taste in your mouth as he came back with a pair of his sweats and a t shirt. You let him pull the shirt over your head before you spoke. 
“I don’t understand how I can be this fucking tired,” you muttered as you put your hands on his shoulders, steadying yourself as you stepped into the legs of the pants that Gray was holding out for you.
“Fatigue is really common during the second month, it’s supposed to get better by the third though, so hopefully it won’t last too long,” he offered in reassurance. You smiled at that - he’d been listening to any podcast he could get his hands on related to pregnancy and parenting. It was the cutest thing, and every time you thought about it you started to tear up.
“Hey, hey, why we cryin’? What’s wrong?” His thumbs were wiping at your cheeks - it was like an instinct now since he had to do it at least once a day.
“You’re gonna be such a good dad,” you blubbered, leaning into his shoulder. You felt him chuckle a bit and you crumpled. “Don’t laugh at me.”
“I’m sorry baby, I didn’t mean to. You’re just cute.”
You groaned. “Cute. Right. I’m grumpy, lazy and gross. Not cute.” 
“You’re none of those things. Well, you’re kinda grumpy with Ethan, but so is everyone.”
It was true - you’d been very grouchy lately, especially with Ethan for some reason. The cute things he usually did to make you laugh got under your skin like no other, and you’d snap at him, which would in turn make him sad, which then made you feel guilty and ended in tears every time without fail. Ethan was a great sport about it, always accepting your teary apologies and teasing you nicely about the hormones, but you still hated not feeling in control of your emotions and yourself.
Knowing it would only be worse if you didn’t get any sleep, you stumbled your way to bed and climbed back under the covers. Grayson climbed in next to you, opening his arms so you could lay on his chest, his fingers tracing patterns on your back as you drifted back into exhausted sleep. 
march
You stood in front of the mirror, hand rubbing gently across your belly. There was definitely a bump there starting to form, and it mesmerized you every time you thought about what was within it. It was tiny. Anyone else looking at you wouldn’t notice, or would think it was just a big breakfast. But you knew that it was your baby, growing away. 
And you loved your bump, but Grayson was even more obsessed - any time you were sitting within reach of him his hand was across your stomach. Though he wouldn’t admit it, you knew part of it was protective. He’d become very cautious since you’d found out about your pregnancy, always making sure you were safe, not letting you do anything too ‘strenuous’. You’d had to get him to back off a few times, assuring him that stirring pasta wasn’t going to cause the baby any stress. 
He’d been even more worried when you and the boys took a flight home to Jersey so you could tell Lisa and Cameron the good news. All through the airport he was right next to you, hand around your waist guiding you through the terminals. 
“Grayson, flying is only dangerous if you’re like... super pregnant. Like might-deliver-on-the-plane pregnant. We’re fine.” You reassured him. 
“We?” His face softened at that. It was the first time you’d really referred to the baby and yourself as a unit. It was a nice feeling - you were finally starting to get back to normal, and feeling like yourself. The morning sickness had let up, only about once a week now. Ethan didn’t piss you off any more than normal. You were still a bit weepy, but that was to be expected in some ways. 
The biggest issue now was your cravings. They were so intense, way more captivating than you thought even possible. When one hit, you couldn’t think about anything else. And the worst possible place to get one? A plane.
“Gray. Grayson,” you whispered to him over the hum of the airplane engines.
“Hmm?”
“I want a soft pretzel. Like I need one.”
“Like you want one or you’re craving one?” He’d learned to differentiate between the two with all your wild food preferences these days.
“Craving. Craving so hard.” 
“Well that’s a new one. I brought some of your other cravings just in case, but not gonna lie, didn’t bring a soft pretzel with my snacks. Do you want any of these?” He gave you a sympathetic smile and showed you the stash of snacks he’d brought for the 5 hour flight - lots of the candies you’d been craving, peanut butter, chocolate. 
“Thank you, but for some reason thinking about eating any of that is making me nauseous,” you scrunched up your nose. 
“What!? You ate like 20 twizzlers yesterday alone!” He looked a bit exasperated, but you just laughed and rested your head on his shoulder.
“It’s okay baby, not your fault. Guess we’ve got a picky kid. Oops.” 
The rest of the flight went without event, and when you went to go pee after you got off, Grayson found an Auntie Anne’s in the terminal and brought you back the biggest soft pretzel they had. You hummed as you ate it, wiggling a bit in excitement considering you were pretty sure it was the best thing you had ever tasted in your entire life. 
“You’re so fuckin’ cute,” Grayson teased, taking your bag from you so you could fully enjoy your snack as you walked through the airport. 
The drive to the Dolan household was about an hour, and you napped through most of it, head on Grayson’s lap in the backseat - the fatigue was fading, but it wasn’t fully gone. He woke you up gently as Ethan turned into the driveway, and you felt the excitement mounting. Not only were you getting to see Cameron and Lisa, but you were getting to tell them the news. You were finally comfortable with more and more people knowing, though you didn’t want it out on any social media. 
When you came in it was three straight hours of hugs, smiles and stories, and there wasn’t even a lull in the conversation where you could have said something. Besides, this was Grayson’s family, so you wanted him to be able to make the big reveal anyhow. 
He’d decided on a scavenger hunt that Ethan helped him set up; you stayed with the girls and feigned your innocence, which almost backfired completely. 
“You seem different Y/N. Did you get new makeup or something?” Lisa asked, giving you the same suspicious look that Grayson often did.
“Um, yeah, yeah I got a new bronzer that I’m trying out.” You went along with it, hoping that if you somehow looked different she would attribute it to that.
“I thought so. Your skin is glowing!”
“Awe thank you!” You smiled, trying not to seem nervous. You’d heard of mother’s intuition, but damn. Luckily the boys returned then, sending their sister and mom on the hunt around the house. It took about 15 minutes, but finally they ended up with the card that had your most recent ultrasound photo in it. 
Lisa blubbered for a good thirty minutes, all the mixtures of emotions about becoming a grandparent coming out. She held her youngest son close for so long, and you gave them their moment by explaining all your pregnancy woes to Cameron, who was beyond excited to finally become an aunt. 
The trip only lasted a few days, but you enjoyed spending the time with Grayson’s family and watching him relax and recharge. When it was time to go and the boys were loading the rental car, Lisa pulled you aside.
“I know pregnancy can be really hard, so you just call me if you need anything, okay? Any questions, anything you need. I’ll fly out any time you need me.”
“Awe thank you Lisa,” you smiled, giving her another hug.
“No, thank you honey. You’ve made my whole family so happy, I can’t thank you enough.”
april
“I give up. I literally give up, I’m never leaving the house ever again.” You threw the shirt across the room, plopping down on the bed in defeat. Grayson spun his chair around, one ear of his headphones already off. He’d been editing, but heard you grumbling.
“What’s the matter love?”
“None of my clothes fit! I’m huge!” 
“Well first off, you’re not huge. Second, you’re growing a fricking human, so yeah your tummy is gonna get bigger. Do you want me to find you a shirt of mine?” He offered, trying his hardest to console you. You’d been pretty good at avoiding the meltdowns lately, and he wanted to keep that trend going. 
“No. I don’t wanna wear your stuff.”
“Baby. You ask me for my clothes like, every day,” he reminded you.
“Yeah. But I like having the option of wearing my clothes,” you pouted, looking at your discarded top on the ground. 
“Okay, well then why don’t we go shopping tomorrow and get you some new clothes. Okay?” 
“Okay,” you agreed. You didn’t love the idea of having to buy new clothes in bigger sizes, but you knew you’d have to do it eventually. 
“Hey, c’mere,” Gray smiled, patting his thigh. You obliged, climbing onto his lap. His hand went to your bare thighs, rubbing circles. “You’re beautiful, you know that right? Even when you don’t feel like it, I promise you that you are.” 
You blushed at that, knowing better than to argue with him. Instead, you just kissed him, fingers gentle on his cheek. 
“I love you,” you smiled against his lips. 
“I love you more. Why don’t you go take a swim, I’ll come out as soon as I finish this edit.” His suggestion was a very good one - the fourth month of pregnancy was mostly nice, but you were starting to get sore, especially your back and hips. The best relief you could find was in the pool, and you’d never been more thankful to live in California. 
You kissed him one more time before getting up and pulling out a bathing suit. He cheekily watched you change with a few side glances, making you blush even harder. 
The pool water was inviting, and you swam around for a while trying to loosen up your muscles. Then, you climbed onto a float and drifted off into a nap. A nap that was ended quite abruptly by cold water being splashed at you. 
You peeked an eye open and all you saw were red shorts. 
“Rule number one Ethan. Never wake the pregnant lady,” you grumbled.  
“I know I know, but I got you something! Look!” Ethan was beaming when your eyes finally adjusted to the sun. You had to look closely to realize that it was a pool float in his hands. Specifically, it was an avocado pool float.
“Awe, thanks E!” Even if you didn’t really understand the gesture (you had plenty of floats), you still appreciated it. 
“It’s a pregnancy one, see!?” He exclaimed, pointing out the picture on the box. Sure enough, it had a hole in the design. “So once your bump gets like, huge, you can still lay on your tummy and then your bump is like the pit!” 
He had such childish excitement that it was contagious, and you couldn’t help but laugh. You could feel the baby fluttering around in your tummy a bit as you giggled - you’d been feeling them move around some lately, though it wasn’t enough for Grayson to feel externally yet. 
“Well, if I try to blow it up I think I’ll pass out, but I wanna see what it looks like!” You grinned. He kicked off his shoes and pulled off his socks, sitting on the edge of the pool and putting his feet in while he unboxed the plastic, finding the plug and beginning to blow it up. 
You watched the process, which took a good while, but it was worth the excitement on his face when he stood up and held the giant avocado up. 
“That thing is huge! How much did it even cost!?” 
Ethan was known to spend too much money on things that no one really needed.
“Doesn’t matter, happy momma happy baby, and since I did it, happy baby means I’m the favorite uncle.” 
“I think you already win favorite uncle E, but I’m sure the baby also loves the float,” you smiled as he blushed. Though he wouldn’t admit it, you could tell he was a bit nervous at the idea of becoming an uncle. Grayson was always the brother who took over when it came to kids, and Ethan felt a bit behind in that department, but you knew he was going to be great.
“Here, come try it out!” 
You waded over to the edge of the pool by Ethan, who was holding the float steady at the edge. You took his other hand and he helped pull you up. And when you laid on your stomach, you realized just how uncomfortable the other float had been.
“Holy shit, this is nice E. Thank you. You should come hang out for a while, I feel like I haven’t seen you in like a week.” 
“Lemme get changed,” Ethan smiled, letting go of the float and heading inside. It wasn’t often that you got to hang out with just Ethan anymore. He was your best friend, and you were grateful for such a strong friendship that had eventually led you to being friends (and then more) with Grayson. It was like having the best brother-sister relationship that you could imagine, with the teasing and the caring perfectly balanced. You were so excited to see him be an uncle to your kid that it wasn’t even funny. 
When he came back in his swim trunks, he had a bottle in his hands. You quirked an eyebrow at him.
“Sunscreen, you’re getting pink on your back,” he explained, walking into the water from the stairs and coming over to you. He put some in his hands and starting rubbing it on your back. The groan you let out wasn’t voluntary.
“Ew gross, wrong twin,” he teased. You flipped him off.
“Shut up, my back’s just sore, it feels nice,” you explained, relaxing. 
“Still sore huh? That sucks dude.”
“Yep, you know just trying to make room for a human in here and shit,” you chuckled. He finished putting it all on and stowed the sunscreen on the edge of the pool. The two of you talked for a while, about work and Wakeheart, new video ideas and Ethan begging for the fiftieth time for you to let him buy the baby clothes already. 
But as he was pleading his case for the baby needing a matching outfit to his, he realized that you had drifted off back to sleep. So he pulled the float over to the side of the pool, using one hand to scroll his phone and the other to push and pull it back and forth to create a sort of rocking motion that would keep you asleep. 
When Grayson came out ten minutes later, he was a bit confused at the sight. Ethan immediately turned and put a finger to his lips.
“She’s out,” he explained. Grayson smiled at that - as much shit as he could give his brother sometimes, he really did have the biggest heart.
“Thanks for taking care of her man, I’m done with the edit I can take over,” he offered. Ethan brushed him off.
“Go take a nap or something, I’ve got this.”
Though he would never admit it, he really did like taking care of you. So Grayson let him, going to catch up on some sleep on the couch with a smile on his face.
may
“You okay baby?” 
You frowned, wondering why he’d asked. Then you noticed that your knuckles were white where you were clinging to his hand. You weren’t sure why you were so nervous - it was just another ultrasound scan. Maybe it’s because of what you were finding out.
“I’m alright, just nervous. I can’t believe we’re finally finding out if it’s a boy or a girl.” You brought your other hand to your bump, rubbing gently over it. You already felt connected to the little human inside you, but the thought of knowing something else about them made you feel even closer.
“Then we can finally start shopping,” he smiled, bringing your hand up to his mouth and kissing the back of it. 
Your OB came in then, ready to begin your scan. You watched in awe as she moved the ultrasound head around, searching until a perfectly clear picture of your baby popped up. You watched their little heart flutter while Grayson watched in awe.
“Everything looks perfect, they’re growing great, got a good amount of fluid in there to swim around in. And if we can get them to turn just a little bit, I should be able to let you know if it’s a little mrs. or mr. in there. Are you all wanting to find out the sex today?” The doctor wasn’t looking at either of you, eyes focused on the screen as she spoke.
“Yeah, we wanna know, if you’re able to see.”
“Alright, well they seem pretty active so we should be able to get a good view here in a minute. Some babies start to wiggle when mama does something, is there anything you do that makes them move around more?”
“They move when I laugh, or when Grayson talks to them.”
Grayson blushed a bit at that. You’d told him over and over that when he talked to your baby, they moved around. He would talk to them every night, hands splayed across your belly, just waiting for some type of kick. And though you could feel them inside, he had yet to feel anything. 
“Why don’t you give that a try Grayson, see if they’ll move,” the doctor encouraged. 
Grayson was obviously nervous to be put on the spot - he was only used to doing this in the comfort of your room at home. He cleared his throat, leaned in close to your belly, and started to speak.
“Hey baby, it’s daddy. I know you’re probably really comfortable just chilling in there right now, but we need you to move just a little bit. Not too much, but maybe just towards me a little bit. I know, I know, it’s a lot of work, but you’re tough, you can do it.” 
You loved the way he talked to your baby, so sweet and adorable. You were enthralled with his words, almost forgetting where you were.
“Well, it looks like you two have a got a major daddy’s girl on your hands,” were the words that pulled you out of your trance. You hadn’t even felt the baby turn. 
“Girl? We’re having a girl?!” Grayson’s eyes were wide, and he had the biggest smile on his face as he looked at you.
“Looks like it. Congratulations guys! I’ll give you guys a minute and go get some of these stills printed, then you all are set to go!” The OB wiped the gel off of your tummy and gave you a warm smile.
As soon as the doctor left, Grayson pumped his fist in the air in excitement.
“I was gonna be happy either way, but I was totally pulling for a girl,” he admitted. He was beaming - you’d always known he wanted a daughter so badly. 
“And apparently she’s already a daddy’s girl. I’m in trouble,” you teased. You held your bump with both hands, looking at it in a whole new light. “Hi baby girl. Momma loves you.” 
june
You knew that this day would be hard; even harder than it had been for Grayson the last few years. So you weren’t all too surprised when you woke up to an empty bed. 
Your back was stiff as you crawled out from under the covers, and you gave yourself some time to stretch and put some sweats on before heading out to the living room. You saw the silhouette of him through the glass doors.
Grayson was in the backyard, sitting on the patio couch, staring out at the view of LA. You decided to give him a few more minutes alone, going to make the both of you a cup of coffee (yours unfortunately decaf). 
You made sure to make a little bit of noise when you opened the door, not wanting to startle him. He turned, relaxing when he realized that it was you. His eyes were puffy and red, and you knew it wasn’t from allergies. 
“Hey,” he said, throat obviously tight. “How’re my girls?”
“We’re alright. Just wanted to come check on you, see if you needed anything.” 
There wasn’t much you could say to make him feel better. Father’s day would always be very bittersweet for him. 
You’d thought about getting him a card, or a small gift that was ‘from the baby’, but you knew that the day would be so laden with emotions that you’d rather not potentially make it worse. 
You passed him the coffee as a comforting gesture, and he gratefully took it.
“I can give you some more alone time if you need, I just wanted to see if you were alright,” you offered, giving him a soft smile. Sometimes he preferred to let his emotions out by himself, and you respected that. 
“Stay please. And thank you, for the coffee.” He patted the seat next to him and you sat down, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. He leaned into you, and it wasn’t long until the shaking started. It was like the sobs were being ripped out of him, and it physically pained you to see him hurting. You did all that you could, pressing kisses to his skin and holding him as close as your bump would let you until the tears finally started to let up.
You wiped away what was left on his cheeks when he sat up to get some air, and he laid the weight of his head in your palm, obviously exhausted.
“I just miss my dad,” were his only words, and you swore you felt your heart crack right down the middle.
“I know baby. I’m so sorry.” 
“I have so many questions for him, about being a dad, and raising a daughter. And I know he would have been so excited to be a grandpa. I wonder if he would have wanted her to call him grandpa, or poppy. And now she won’t even have one,” he said, a fresh batch of tears coming to the surface. 
“He’s still her grandpa baby. I know he’s not here, and god I wish he was. But she’s gonna know about her poppy Sean, and what an amazing person he was. We’re gonna tell her stories, and show her pictures, and she’s gonna see all of his best qualities in you. You’re going to be an amazing dad, because you had an amazing example.” The words came spilling out of you, just like the tears came spilling down for both of you. 
Coffee cups discarded somewhere close by, he took your hips in his hands and pulled you onto his lap. He buried his face in your neck and you held him tightly, running your fingers through his hair. When he moved up to your shoulder, you felt him press a few kisses to your skin - a silent thank you. 
“You really think I’m gonna be a good dad? You’re not just saying that?” His voice was muffled against your skin. 
“I honestly think that you’re going to be the best. And I’m not just saying that, I swear.”
“But why? Why do you have so much faith in me? I have no idea what I’m doing.”
“Neither do I. I’ve got motherly instinct to go on, and some babysitting, and that’s it. And I know you think you have no idea how to take care of a kid, but I know that you’re going to love her, and you’re going to protect her, and those are the most important things you can do. You already love her so much,” you explained.
There was an odd sensation in your tummy just then, and you gasped at it. It was new, a slow dramatic motion, and as you looked down you could actually see your skin moving. The movement tracked down the top of your bump and towards your belly button, which was pressed against Grayson. You didn’t have to ask - you knew he had felt it.
“Was that...”
“That was all her,” you assured him. You recognized the feeling as her stretching, but you realized quickly that it was the first time he’d actually felt her move. His hands moved to spread across your bump, the sadness that had been on his face now replaced with awe.
You both watched closely, waiting to see if she would do it again. You felt it first.
“She’s moving, she’s moving again, right here.” You took his hand and moved it to the right place, just in time for him to feel her kick. He looked up to you with wide eyes.
“Holy shit! I actually felt that! Does she do that all the time?” 
“She’s been doing it a lot more lately. Guess she’s trying to make more room. I swear, she really does move around a lot more when you’re talking to her.”
Something about his voice made her decide to do flips all the time. Most the time it was fine, though sometimes it would be a bit sharp if her little feet or elbows found a rib. You’d never tell him that though - watching his face light up was worth any kick.
“Hey baby girl. Whatcha doin’ in there, huh? You showin’ off?” His voice softened every time he spoke to her, and your heart softened with it. On cue, she kicked again, right into his hand. 
“No way! That’s so cool! Does it hurt?”
“Not unless she catches an organ or a bone,” you teased, loving how excited he was, and grateful that he was finally getting to experience this. It went on for another hour, both of you enthralled to see how she moved. 
“I think she’s saying happy father’s day,” you said at one point, not thinking it through. But to your relief Grayson was beaming proudly at your words. 
july
You spotted the glitter from across the store, and immediately started shaking your head. 
“No. Absolutely not,” you protested as the boys approached you. Whatever it was in their hands, you weren’t going to let them buy it.
“But baby, look. It has ruffles on the butt,” Grayson explained, holding it up. It was a bright pink glittery onesie, that did indeed have ruffles on the butt of it. 
“I am not putting my daughter in that.”
“I mean, Gray and I both want it. So technically you’re outnumbered,” Ethan countered, quirking an eyebrow.
“Well I’m growing her butt with my own body, so technically I get to decide that I’m not putting ruffles on it,” you mocked, eyes narrowing. He backed off, knowing better than to mess with you. 
“What if we got one that wasn’t so bright? They have non-glittery ones,” Grayson offered. You always softened up when he suggested things, and looking at how small the newborn clothes looked in his hands had you in a puddle. 
“Non glitter would be... better.” You said, still a bit suspicious. 
It wasn’t that you were totally against girly clothes - you just thought all the baby boy clothes were so much cuter. Who wanted unicorn onesies when you could get some with jungle animals, or sea creatures? You’d found yourself wandering over to the boys section more and more, picking out little hoodies and things with simple patterns. 
Grayson took you to the ruffle butt section, and you had to admit the ones in more neutral colors were quite cute. You picked out a few with him, and then it was like his eyes glazed over. 
“Oh my god,” he said, head falling back a bit before coming back up to a pout he only got when he saw something too adorable. You followed him over to the sundress section where Ethan was already holding up a tiny little dress with sunflowers on it. Even you had to admit, it was adorable.
“I love it, but she’s due in September. I don’t want her to be cold,” you sighed, hand going to your tummy. You’d started to feel more and more protective of her recently. 
“We’ll buy her a little jacket or something.” 
You weren’t surprised that the next 30 minutes (and $300 most likely) were spent in the dress section. You decided to let the boys have their fun - you knew you’d be the one dressing her more often than not, so you could put her in whatever you wanted. 
When you got back home, you headed to the nursery, which was really starting to come together. The boys were putting in so much work to make it perfect, and it made you so happy. There was a crib that Grayson had built, and tested about twenty times as well. You’d assured him that it didn’t need to hold 200 pounds, but he was very proud that it passed the test of him laying in it.
“What if she gets scared and needs me to sleep in there with her!?” was his main argument for that one, and you couldn’t fault him. 
They’d painted the walls a dark gray with a few pops of light purple. There was a changing table and dresser built by Grayson as well, though right now you were focused on the closet as you put her clothes away. 
“I can’t believe she’s gonna be here in like, two months,” Grayson mumbled as he hung a tiny dress up on a hanger. He was moving the delicate straps by pinching them with his fingers, which was somehow more adorable than the dress itself. 
“I know, it’s crazy. Not gonna lie though, this bump is getting a little heavy. I wouldn’t mind her getting here a little sooner,” you sighed, leaning slightly to try to relieve some pressure on your back. Standing all day in the stores had your ankles swollen and your back screaming. 
“Hey, I got this. Why don’t you go lay down, I’ll give you a massage when I’m done okay?” 
You balked a bit at that. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust him - he was perfectly capable of unpacking baby clothes. But your nesting instincts were coming in hard these days, and you were very particular about anything nursery or baby related. 
“I...”
“Color order, and separate it by type of clothes and sizes, I know. Onesies in the drawer, plain on the left and cute on the right. Plus, you’re probably going to rearrange it all next week anyways.” Grayson reassured you, checking all the boxes you didn’t even have to say.
“You’re the best,” you smiled, standing on your tip toes to kiss him - the bump was getting in the way these days. 
“I know,” he joked. “Now go lay down.”
You did as he said, and he was unsurprised to find you asleep in bed when he got back a mere twenty minutes later. The sight of you curled up on your side, cradling your bump, made him smile. 
He helped get you changed into pajamas - you grumbled a bit as he moved your limbs, but you didn’t wake all the way up. 
Then, he moved to your ankles, rubbing at the puffiness to try and get it to reabsorb - he’d looked up the best massages for pregnant women months ago, but they were really starting to come in handy now. By the time he got to your back, you were humming at the sensation, somewhere between dreams and bliss. 
“Thank you,” you mumbled. Grayson wasn’t sure if you even knew you said it.
He smiled, leaning down to kiss your forehead, then your bump. “Anything for my girls.”
august
You’d resorted to pool noodle violence, seeing that you were quite slow even in the water. You brought it down as hard as you could on Ethan first, then on Grayson. 
“Enough!” you yelled, exasperated. The boys stopped in their tracks - they’d been wrestling and bickering about something for a while now, and you were annoyed. Not because they were arguing, but because the baby was doing all sorts of flips and kicks to the sounds of their voices. She had always responded to Grayson’s voice the most, but apparently Ethan’s was similar enough that he got the same response. Which meant them arguing was actually quite painful.
“If this baby kicks me in the ribs one more time because of you two, I swear,” you grumbled, rubbing over your sore stomach. 
“Sorry, I keep forgetting,” Ethan apologized, giving you a look of sympathy. 
“Sorry baby,” Grayson sighed, coming over to the edge of the pool where you were. It didn’t matter what you did these days - you were just uncomfortable. Your bump was huge, and you felt like a whale day in and day out. It was making you grumpy, and you hated it.
“No, I’m sorry. She just won’t stop kicking. Like girlfriend, you’ve gotta chill out,” you gestured to your bump, making both of them chuckle.
“You be nice to your momma, so that she’ll be nice to your uncle E,” Ethan said to your bump. “Oh my god, I wonder if she’s gonna get us confused.”
“No. She’s gonna know exactly who I am,” Grayson argued, a bit peeved. 
“What if she likes me better?” Ethan prodded, trying to get more of a reaction as he often did. 
“Hey. She’s still trying out for the world cup over here, whisper if you’re gonna talk,” you grumbled, pressing on the side of your bump to try and soothe the pain. Grayson’s hand replaced yours, rubbing soft soothing circles. 
“I bet she’s kicking cause she thinks you’re annoying, like her dad does,” Grayson retorted, smirking a bit. It would have been a good comeback if he didn’t have to whisper it.
“I’m gonna be her favorite, cause I get to be the fun uncle,” Ethan countered quietly with a wicked smile. 
“You both have useless nipples, therefore I’m pretty sure I’m going to be the favorite for a good 6 months at least,” you chimed in, defeating both of their arguments. “Now then, I’m getting pruny, I’m going in.”
Before you could protest, Grayson had already pushed himself up and out at the edge of the pool, coming to help you up. He wasn’t letting you out of his sight for even a second these days. He was afraid you were going to go into labor and he wasn’t going to be there. 
The closer your due date got, the less worried you were. It confused Gray - he figured you’d be anxious about the delivery, the labor, all of it. But you were just excited to meet your little girl. You both hadn’t picked out a name yet - all you knew was that you wanted it to be strong, and have meaning. You were going to wait until you saw her face to fully decide.
Caught up in your thoughts, you didn’t even realize that you’d made the turn into the nursery instead of into your room. It was a bit hard to believe that you were going to have a baby of your own living in here in just a few short weeks. 
“Do you wanna go back through your hospital bag and make sure we have everything?” Grayson’s voice came from behind you. 
You shook your head with a soft smile. 
“Oh. Do you wanna rearrange again?” You could tell he was a bit more hesitant on that one - you’d asked him to move the furniture around at least twice already this week. You couldn’t help the hormones, but you did feel bad for him. 
“No, I think it’s perfect. Just picturing her in here,” you explained, taking his hands in yours. 
“How are you not freaking out? Are you not nervous at all?” 
“A little I guess. But I’m more excited,” you smiled.
“I’m terrified,” Grayson admitted a bit sheepishly. 
“What’s got you so worried?” You wanted him to talk about it, mainly so you could try to figure out a way to help.
“I just want everything to go smoothly. My delivery didn’t go well, and I don’t want anything to go wrong with ours. Plus, I really, really, don’t wanna see you in pain. That’s gonna be really hard.” 
“I’m pretty tough,” you teased, trying to address the only thing that you could actually comfort him about. 
“Hell of a lot tougher than me, I know that for sure. Thank you.”
“For what?”
“For carrying our kid. I haven’t thanked you enough for the sacrifice of it. You’ve given your body up for so long, so thank you.” He was looking down at your bump now, hands rubbing over the skin. 
“Best thing we’ve ever done,” you smiled, pulling him closer to kiss him, though you both had to lean a bit. “Though I’m not gonna lie, it’ll be nice when I can actually kiss you normally again,” you teased.
“I’m pretty sure the baby will be stealing most of the kisses from me,” Gray said. 
“Not all of them,” you assured him, leaning to kiss him again.
september 3rd, 3am
Grayson had passed behind you at least ten times. You watched him in the mirror with a bit of a smirk. You were brushing your teeth, breathing deeply through your nose as a contraction started. 
“Are they close together? Oh god, I’m supposed to be timing them, shit, okay, hold on,” he mumbled, heading back towards the room again. You caught his hand, holding him there while you spit out your toothpaste and rinsed your mouth.
“Baby. Relax.”
“Relax? How are you so calm right now!? Aren’t you like, contracting?” His eyes were wide, panicked. You knew the only way to get him calm was to stay calm yourself.
“I mean yeah,” you shrugged. Right now, it was no worse than bad period cramps. You weren’t going to freak out - waking up to your water breaking wasn’t exactly your plan, but you were more excited than anything. 
Grayson packed the car while you brushed your hair, and he came back in to walk you to the car. He held your hand for the whole drive, bringing your intertwined digits up to kiss the back of your hand any time you tensed up with a contraction. There was luckily no traffic at 3am, and the drive to the hospital was easy enough. 
Ethan was at home, in charge of letting everyone know that it was time, and getting Lisa and Cameron when they made it into town. So it was just you and Grayson, and you loved it, even though he was freaking out. 
You got checked in and taken up to your room. Grayson was at your bedside, hand in yours from the moment you got settled with your IV. The nurse was sweet as she came in to give you your first exam. It wasn’t comfortable, but you hadn’t expected it to be.
“Well momma, look at you! Already 4 centimeters dilated! If you keep up this pace, you’re gonna be holding that baby girl in no time! Around what time did you say that your water broke?”
“Around 2:45 this morning,” you said.
“Wow. You really are moving along quickly, especially for a first time momma. I’ll come check you again in about a half hour, and we’ll see how you’re feeling okay?” 
“Sounds good, thank you,” you offered her a smile as she headed out. 
When you looked back over, Grayson’s eyes were on your face. 
“Looks like things are gonna go pretty smooth,” you wiggled your eyebrows at him, just trying to make him laugh. He smiled, shaking his head. 
“You’re insane,” was all he could say.
“Hey, I told you I was tough! And I’m sure it’s going to get a lot worse from here,” you reminded him. 
“I was fully prepared for you to be screaming in pain. And you’re just here, hanging out like nothing’s happening!” He was exasperated. 
“Screaming isn’t really my style. Well, I guess it is sometimes,” you winked at him. 
“You are not making sex jokes right now.” He had the biggest smile now, which was all you wanted. Another contraction hit then, low in your back. You sucked in a deep breath, squeezing on Grayson’s hand as it came through. You breathed your way through it, trying to get a rhythm down that you knew you could keep going. They’ll pass. They come and then they pass was going to be your mindset for the rest of the time. 
And it worked. Each time a contraction came you closed your eyes and breathed deep, focusing on the sensation of the air coming in your nose and out over your lips. The only other sensation you were willing to acknowledge was Grayson’s hand in yours, his lips on your forehead, the sweet encouragements he was whispering in your ear. 
And they got worse. Much worse. The nurse came and checked you often, reassuring you that things were moving well. It was a few hours later and you were already at 8 centimeters. 
“I haven’t seen a first time mom move this quickly through labor in a long, long time. Whatever you’re doing, it’s working,” the doctor said when she checked you. 
“But that’s okay right? It’s not bad that it’s going fast right?” Grayson was immediately concerned.
“No, no problems at all. Less time in labor means less stress on mom and baby, so better all around. You’re a natural Y/N, I’ll give you that,” she smiled. “I’d say we’re gonna be pushing in the next hour or so.”
“Sounds great.” You gave her a soft smile, trying with all your might to be pleasant. Your hips were on fire, like you’d been holding a wide squat for the last 3 hours. You knew it was just everything widening, but damn did it hurt. 
“You’re doing amazing baby, you’re so strong.” Grayson’s words came at the right time. 
“I think I’m ready to be done now,” you laughed a bit, and it was the first time you’d felt any self pity the whole time. But you were tired, and you knew that pushing was supposed to be the worst part of the whole thing. You weren’t sure you were as ready for that as you thought you were. 
“I know baby, I wish I could make it better. But you’re gonna have your daughter in your arms so soon, and it’s all gonna be worth it,” he reminded you. His face was laced with sympathy as he leaned in to kiss you. 
It was enough encouragement to help you through, though you weren’t as quiet as you had been. Each contraction was longer, and closer together now. You were groaning a bit at the pain, trying to keep it under control as you had before, but it was getting harder. 
The time crawled by, and you shed a few happy tears when the doctor came back in and told you that it was time for you to push. 
It was a bit of a blur from there, all guttural instinct and people counting and breathing. The only anchor you had was Grayson, who kept himself in your view the whole time, encouraging you and letting you know you were close, that it was almost over. 
And then you heard it. A loud cry, a bit of a gurgle at first, and then clear as day.
Your baby girl was here. 
The nurses were wiping her off just a tiny bit, and then she was there in your arms, on your chest. 
“Hi baby girl, hi sweetheart,” you cooed, wrapping her up in your arms. The tears were streaming now, and you looked up at Grayson. He was crying too, a look of pride and happiness that you’d never seen on his face before. 
“Congratulations, she’s beautiful! Dad, you wanna cut the cord?” 
“Yeah, yeah,” Grayson’s voice was rough as he moved to help, cutting the cord where the doctor’s clamped it off. You were mesmerized by your little angel’s face - she had Grayson’s nose and lips, you could tell already. 
“Hi pretty girl, it’s momma. Welcome to the world,” you said, running a finger over her tiny nose. 
“Alright momma, you catch your breath, we’re gonna get her cleaned up and swaddled okay?” The nurse gave you the warning before going to take her off your chest. You let her, and then you looked at Grayson. He was obviously torn, looking between you and your daughter. 
“Go, go with her,” you encouraged him. You relaxed back into the bed, body spent entirely, but eyes wide open as you watched what was unfolding, trying to ignore everything that was happening with you, from delivering the placenta to the clean up. 
They weighed her first - 6 pounds and 2 ounces - and then you watched as they wrapped her up and put a tiny hat on her head. The nurse turned and placed her in Grayson’s arms. His eyes went wide for a moment in nervous panic, and then he settled as she fit perfectly in his arms. His tears flowed freely as he looked down at her in awe.
“Hi precious. It’s daddy, yeah, it’s daddy,” he cooed, and you swore you’d never been more in love with him in your whole life. He walked slowly back over to you, leaning down and lowering her back into your arms. You scooted over as best you could, and Grayson got the hint, helping you move over with his free arm and climbing into the bed next to you. 
You took her in your arms like you’d done it a thousand times before. She was peaceful there on your skin, content and happy. Her eyes opened a bit as you held her close, Grayson’s hand behind her head. 
“She’s perfect. You did so good,” Grayson praised, running a thumb over her soft hair.
Gazing at her face, you knew that the name you’d secretly been considering was perfect. 
“Bailey. I wanna name her Bailey. After you. And I want her middle name to be Shawn, after her poppy. We can spell it s-h-a-w-n, or s-e-a-n, either way,” you said, looking up at Grayson.
His tears were enough of an answer. 
“Bailey Shawn Dolan. I love it. It’s perfect,” he smiled, leaning down to press a kiss to her forehead. You weren’t sure how long you sat there with them. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you knew that there was much to come. Ethan, and Lisa and Cameron would be there soon. There would be more nurses, a lactation specialist, doctors. But right now, all you could do was watch little Bailey breathe, and be grateful for the perfect little family that you had. 
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boop-le-snoot · 3 years
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PARTY FAVOURS | CHAPTER 5
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Rating: Explicit.
‼️TW: Reader is EIGHTEEN! Recreational drug use, smoking and alcohol consumption, deeply internalised self-loathing, very questionable moral standards. Daddy kink taken half-seriously. BDSM themes in later chapters - explicit content will come with it's own TWs. FIRST PERSON POV.
Summary: You're Peter's classmate, a child of rich and famous but uncaring parents. Getting paired up for a lengthy project with the boy was an interesting turn of events and you don't know whether to feel blessed or cursed when you develop, seemingly, a perfectly normal, harmless crush on Tony Stark. Fueled by feelings of inadequacy and boredom, your life spirals out of control - and you're lucky your newfound friends are there to pick up the pieces even if you cannot find it in yourself to believe these amazing human (and not so human) beings voluntarily give you more than a fleeting glance and an offhanded thought. And they brought cake!
A/N: Revenge is sweet but a well-timed dick joke is sweeter. xoxo gossip girl. Please supervise one Bucky Barnes on the internet. Questionable music taste. Detention is the price we pay for justice. Bruce Banner is too precious for this world, too pure.
THE TAG LIST IS NOW OPEN! @another-stark-sub ​ @mostly-marvel-musings @vozit​ @littlegasps​ @pilloclock​ @shereadsinquiet​ @downeyreads​ @hermione-grangers-wife​ @individualistfem​
Beta read by the lovely and patient @miscmarvelwritings ! 🎶🎵I love you biiitch ain't ever gonna stop loving you biiitch 🎵🎶
"Initiate phase one," I added a growly undertone to my whisper, holding my phone inconspicuously, as if I was making a simple phone call. There was no answer but I didn't expect one: I was testing the voice recorder app that I had downloaded for the sole purpose of documenting and relaying the inevitable fall of one Flash Thompson. 
Making my way through the crowd of students during the busiest time of the day, I made the most intrigued and outraged facial expression I possibly could. Spying my targets, I leaned against a nearby wall, putting a hand over my mouth in fake outrage, keeping my eyes wide and trained on the opposite wall. Just as I had predicted, the two sophomore girls started giving me side-eye by minute two of my staring and finally approached me as I contemplated the wall for whole five minutes.
"I'm sorry, are you okay?" The brunette asked, her blonde friend hanging a step back.
"Yeah, totally," I mumbled. "I'm, like, shook beyond imagination, but nothing, like, bad."
The girls traded a curious look, seemingly coming to some sort of conclusion. The greedy gleam in their eyes had me internally cheering. "What happened?" The blonde one asked, coming closer.
"I'm not sure if I should tell that to anyone," I stammered, watching them bodily move forward. "Well, okay, I can't keep quiet. But you must never, ever speak of it or I'll get expelled or something," I said nervously. They both nodded so rapidly it reminded me of Funko Pop figurines. "You know the senior guy, Flash? Brown hair, kinda hot?" Again, they both nodded, conspicuously grinning. "I think I just saw him in the closed girls bathroom on the third floor with, like, some brunette from Ms. Johnson's History class," They both gasped. Predictable. "But that's not the worst! They were like, y'know," I made an obscene gesture with my hand and they instantly covered their own mouths with their palms in shock. "And the chick was like 'is it in yet?' and he was like 'yah' and I just closed the door and ran, oh my god I hope they didn't hear me," I squealed at the end, playing the part of a mortified teenager.
All three of us giggled uncomfortably for a moment. The blonde girl stared at me suspiciously. "And what were you doing there?"
I faked a nervous stammer, looking around briefly and showing them my lighter for a moment. They both gasped and nodded in recognition. "Don't tell anybody or my mom is going to have kittens," I pleaded. Both of them nodded solemnly, noticing their own group of friends approach. I used the brief moment to get lost in the river of pupils and by the time they turned around to introduce me, I was already at the opposite part of the hallway.
For the time being, everything seemed peaceful. There were a few giggles and side-eyes directed towards Flash Thompson but nothing out of the ordinary. He was disliked by most of the student population even if nobody dared to admit it outright. I took care to walk around without my earbuds for the day and pulled out my phone to record the most interesting conversations around me whenever I caught the tell tale signs of a gossip mill beginning to run its course around the school.
"Oh my god, I heard about this girl that was caught fucking Flash in the girls bathroom and she literally said 'is it in yet', can you imagine the shock, jeez!"
"Some chick literally just rejected Flash because his dick was too small."
"Rebecca from AP chemistry told me someone saw Flash's micropenis. Poor guy!"
"I wonder if his girlfriend dumped him because he can't do shit, I mean, he doesn't look like the type to eat the kitty."
Those were just the highlights of the Friday afternoon. Come the weekend and the news of Flash's unfortunate condition will make the rounds through every single group chat that the school has and by the time Monday rolls around, nobody will have a clue who started the rumour in the first place. I had to carefully select the girls who were to distribute the rumour and I was happy with the outcome: Marissa and Layla with their squad of chatty, bored rich girls were the perfect choice. I thought they would jump at any opportunity to cause drama and I was right.
It was sufficient to say I was bristling with pride as I cut and compiled the audio track from today's school day before sending it to the group chat.
Clint, Peter and Natasha appeared online as soon as the message delivered and I was delighted at their response. Romanoff's kind words, specifically, made me all warm and mushy inside. I didn't resist the feeling, basked in it even as I did a happy dance around my room. Peter's nonsensical string of emojis was another point of laughter for me. 
It wasn't exactly the smartest way to go about killing Thompson's reputation... Alas, simplicity is the way to success when it comes to large crowds of teenagers. That tiny little vindictive part of me was very much looking forward to the weekend and the results of the inevitable distortion of the rumour I had started. Who knew, maybe by Monday Flash Thompson would not only have a micropenis but horns and hooves as well.
Near bedtime, I had all the avengers send me their regards and thumbs up. I answered the flurry of texts as quickly as I could but there was no point in keeping up with ten or so people constantly streaming their questions, opinions and comments. 
I settled on a single easiest response: pulling my dad's old uni sweatshirt over my tiny lacy pajamas to preserve some modesty, I settled in front of my mirror, turning on my Bluetooth speaker to play "Boss Ass Bitch". In true gen-z fashion, I put on my best resting witch face and solemnly lip-synced to the song's eponymous chorus. My eyeliner was sharp enough to cut paper and my prismatic highlighter glittered enigmatically in the cold light of my blue lava lamp.
The response was, once again, delightful and I genuinely belly-laughed at the adults' attempts to meme after Peter. His blushy face emoji started a whole nother conversation that I didn't participate in but watched from the sidelines with glee, snorting every time his friends and mentors gently teased him about the very obvious crush he harboured on me. 
Seeing Peter starting to go absolutely nuts, I interjected with an offer (more like a dare) of a lip sync battle. He jumped on the bandwagon, immediately going offline to undoubtedly film an epic video of what I thought would be dorky-dancing to some hipster song. I was pleasantly surprised when it turned out to be a pre-recorded tik tok video of him and Ned fighting with lightsabers while mouthing the words to Fergalicious that played over the Imperial March.
Weirdos. I still followed him on the app, though, it was pretty funny.
Bucky interjected with a very well executed rendition of "Bring Me to Life": he was wearing his full Winter Soldier get-up, complete with an AK-47, dramatically serenading Steve who looked seventeen shades of done with his partner's antics. Wanda's following twenty second voice message consisted of nothing but pure hysterical laughter, summing up everyone's reaction to the video. Bucky was going to go viral one of these days...
Obviously, I had good competition and nobody else seemed to want to participate so I rearranged my surroundings a little bit and stood up at my full height and swapped the old sweatshirt for a cute crop-top hoodie. My thigh-highs were on display and with my make-up, I looked like a proper internet e-girl. I leaned against the mirror as I mouthed along to the song with my best interpretation of the famous Lucifer smirk, seasoned with a tiny bit of angelic innocence: "Doctor, doctor, give me the news, I got a bad case of loving you..."
Needless to say, I won the competition. Eventually Wanda joined in, looking menacing and ominous with her dark clothes and Natasha's red hair flashing somewhere in the background; even Tony did a round (AC/DC as his soundtrack of course) with one of his Iron Man suits but nothing beat my stunt and the reaction that it caused.
I had accidentally called out Bruce with the choice of my song and his teammates gave both of us a lot of cheeky comments about it. We relented and flirted with each other a bit as the conversation flowed into more mundane discussion; I said my good nights somewhere between Tony's bitching about the hobbies of my generation and my nightly skincare routine. The little green heart that I'd become accustomed to over the past few weeks greeted me just as I was about to lock my phone.
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Bruce was really too precious for this world. My crush on him was different than the one on Tony, it mellowed out in comparison. I wanted him to hold me, to stroke my hair, to call me his darling and wrap me up in one of those dorky button-ups that he insisted on wearing in spite of Tony's unwanted, however very valid, fashion advice.
For all that's worth, the scientist probably knew or at least suspected and had the good grace to play along just enough to satisfy my deep need for attention... Without crossing any actual lines. It was frustrating, it was disappointing but I had virtually nothing to complain about. Besides, I didn't want to lose the quirky friendship that we had. Banner was, probably, the least judgemental person I knew and I wasn't about to trade that for an awkwardly stolen kiss.
Monday and Tuesday passed in a flurry of giggling and snorting every time Flash walked by. His girlfriend broke up with him, very publicly, accusing him of cheating and he didn't even deny it - just insulted her and stormed off, leaving even his friends looking lost and clueless. I started dragging Peter and his two pet nerds along with me just about everywhere I went in case Thompson decided to do something stupid again. If judging only by the looks he was throwing our little company, he was on his way to figuring out who began nibbling at his reputation.
The week was coming to an end and the rumour began dying off, slowly. That just didn't sit with me, I wanted the fucker gone. Due to the obvious time constraints, I approached MJ regarding Peter - after a brief argument, we came to an agreement regarding Peter's safety should I need to leave him alone in the hallways or at lunch. 
I needed to do this alone so if I got caught, I won't drag them down with me. Granted, I would probably get something like a suspension and the school will attempt to call my mother (she never picks up) but that's about it. That's where her reputation comes in handy-people consciously avoid dealing with her, she can be that unbearable.
But first, I needed to get a teacher that's on my side. After carefully considering the candidates, I settled on my Social Studies professor - he taught the college-level classes and was overall a very chill, nice dude. And he disliked bullies with a flaming passion. So it didn't take me long to work him into a righteous fury - just a quick chat over a cup of tea in his homeroom and a few pictures of Peter's bruised face, complete with my own pleading puppy eyes. We agreed Mr Davies would "accidentally" leave the teacher's lounge unlocked during third period and I would sneak in. The plan wasn't foolproof but if it worked, not only Flash, but also his whole misogynistic, bigoted family would go down.
As I was leaving, Mr Davies looked up at me with a bright smile: "Give them Hell, alright?" And I suddenly noticed he was, in fact, very attractive. The smile brought out the fine wrinkles around his mouth, the crow's feet around his eyes - he smiled a lot. Silver strands mixed in with the wooden brown of his hair.
I let my eyes slide over him briefly before baring my teeth in return. "I owe you one," I don't know what possessed me to say that. My mouth really had a mind of its own sometimes. The room suddenly became hot.
"Sure," He replied, totally oblivious.
On Friday, I made myself a small nest in the empty classroom opposite the teacher's lounge and sat waiting for the signal from Mr Davies - he'd tap on the door once and I'd quietly go inside the teacher's lounge, retrieve Thompson's file and make my way back to the empty classroom to grab my backpack and carry the file to my locker for further examination. 
The first part went successfully and I managed to snag Thompson's file. It was heavy and hefty, all the evidence of his rowdiness compiled into one flimsy plastic folder. There were A LOT of pink slips and I rejoiced internally: at least there was a paper trail of his exploits. The principal didn't do anything about it which was... If not against the rules then at least frowned upon; the plan was to take copies and anonymously submit them to the school board prompting at least an investigation into the blatant disregard for Flash's immoral and illegal behaviour.
On my way back I stumbled upon the principal herself which got me not only a stern talking to, but a whole detention for skipping class. Whatever, I was too elated from potentially ruining the life of a dumb fuck who ruined my friend's face.
Surprise came in the face of Mr Davies, who, having heard the commotion in the hallway, stepped out of his class and saw me being lectured by the principal. 
"I'll take her for the detention," I heard the familiar voice behind me. The principal nodded solemnly and I had no choice but to sigh in resignation. "Three thirty, be here," He nodded to me, walking back, looking way too smug for his own good. So I wasn't the only one excited about the successful completion of stage two of my nefarious plan. Cue evil laughter.
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rumor has it [2/2] • jung hoseok
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words — 3K
part one
You took of your shoes, haphazardly kicking them into the shoe rack, pulling off your baby pink sweater as you padded to your room, humming with a gigantic grin on your face.
It wasn't five minutes since you arrived home when a knock sounded on your door. You threw your sweater on the bed, heading to the door.
"Yeah, I'm coming." You called, and the incessant knocking ceased. Probably Minji or Jamie that wants to borrow a book or some paper to print a project. You opened the door, frowning slight when you saw who was on the other side, "Hoseok? Is everything okay?"
"I'm not feeling very gentlemanly right now." He declared before stepping closer, grabbing you by the neck and kissing you until you were breathless, your socked covered toes curling.
"Good night." He said when he pulled away, then added on, "For real this time."
You laughed a little, feeling so ridiculously happy. You wondered if you could combust from it.
"Text me when you get home." You blurted, still catching your breath.
"Promise." He nodded, licking his lips. You leaned forward to peck them one last time. For now.
You laughed again, practically vibrating with giddiness as you closed the door for a second and final time.
***
You liked to think that maybe you would have a boyfriend, in the not so distant future, after that. It's not like you go around kissing any guy you go out on a date with. And yeah, there's been some horrible dates you went on that never went anywhere, but that's a story for another day.
Right now you were more interested in listening to what Hoseok had to say. The two of you were sitting in the Quad, eating lunch together. You warned your friends to pretty please stay away for now because this thing between you and Hoseok was still new and fragile. And maybe you want him to yourself for a little longer but that was none of their business.
"So, the Dance Department is holding its yearly talent show." Hoseok said after swallowing a bit of his chicken and mayo sandwich.
"I heard," You nodded, taking a sip of orange juice. "The whole campus is talking about it."
"I entered and I was wondering if you'd come?" He asked, looking at you nervously. "For me. For, you know, moral support."
"Absolutely." You nodded eagerly, belly fluttering. You liked the fact that Hoseok had invited you to the competition, especially knowing how much dance means to him. "Can I bring my friends?"
"Sure," Hoseok grinned excitedly. "The more, the merrier."
In the three months leading up to the competition, you would scarcely see him during the week with how much he practices but you make up for it by spending most of the weekend together.
You get to know much about Hoseok in the three months that pass. Little things, like how he swears when he gets startled, all of his phobias (spiders, snakes and heights you got, but fear of water was a little bit of a strange one for you, because you're in love with water but it's not like you own a swimming pool so it wouldn't be a problem), his likes (cuddling while watching a movie) and dislikes (watching scary movies at night - or just in general), habits (biting his lip when he concentrates) and hobbies (skateboarding).
Finally, the day of the competition arrived. It was pretty much a full day event, according to Hoseok, because there was the entrance round, which took the most time, quarter finals, semi finals and finals.
You were walking to the hall where the competition would be held with your two best friends, Minji and Jamie. Your arms were linked through each other's. "Thank you guys so much for coming."
"Of course. Where else would we be?" Jamie smiled gently at you.
Minji nodded, then said, "And we've been dying to meet the guy who has finally melted your heart."
"Just behave yourselves." You told them, pointing a finger in warning.
"Who, us?" Minji gasped.
"We're angels." Jamie smirked.
You snorted, looking around for Hoseok. He said that you would all meet out front. "Sure. Whatever makes you sleep at night."
"Hey, Y/N!" Hoseok's voice caught your ears and you turn in the direction you heard it. "Over here!"
A grin breaks out on your face when you see him, a few guys standing with him, and it takes all your will power not to run to him. You didn't even look at anyone else as you walked to him, stopping only when you reached Hoseok. "Hey."
You wanted to kiss him but didn't. PDA isn't something you've discussed yet, and you definitely don't want to be pushed away or make Hoseok uncomfortable.
"Wow, you look . . ." Hoseok breathed, eyes widening when he did a full body sweep of you. You wore a dress for the first time since he's met you, paired with some matching wedges and a little bit of make-up. "Beautiful."
"Thank you." You grinned, feeling your cheeks flush. "You look very handsome." And he did - a low cut white shirt that put his collarbones and little bit of his chest on display, tucked into black, ripped skinny jeans and a pair of white Converse sneakers.
A throat cleared from somewhere around you and both of you snapped out of the little bubble that unknowingly formed around you, the pair of you ignoring the world.
"Right, I should probably introduce you." Hoseok cleared his throat, tossing a glare over his shoulder when one of his friends snickered. "Guys, this is Y/N." He looked at his friends, gesturing at you. Then looked at back at you. "Don't worry if you can't remember all their names today. There's six of them. Okay, this is Namjoon, the best friend I told you about. That is Yoongi-hyung and his best friend Seokjin-hyung. Next to them is Taehyungie and his best friend Jiminie and next to the shorty is his boyfriend Jeongguk."
"I'm not short." Jimin huffed, a hand wrapped around Jeongguk's bicep.
"Of course not, hyung," Jeongguk consoled, patting his head. Then he smirked, "Just vertically challenged."
"Yah, you gigantic brat!" Jimin snarled as he used the hand on Jeongguk's bicep to try and hit him in the back of his head. Clearly this has happened before because Jeongguk expertly ducked away and grabbed Jimin's hand, spinning Jimin until his back was pressed against Jeongguk's chest. Jeongguk wrapped his hands around him a struggling Jimin, smiling as he pressed a kiss against his hair.
"Don't worry about them, they're always like that." Taehyung said with a grin when he noticed the way you looked at them, wide eyed.
"Good to know." You laughed. "Well, it's so nice to meet all of you." You stepped next to Minji and Jamie, who were eyeing all of Hoseok's friends with interest. "And these are my two best friends, Minji and Jamie."
Jamie stepped forward, peering at Hoseok, "It's so nice to meet Y/N's new beau. She hasn't had one since high school."
"Would you shut up?" You hissed, cheeks flaming, as you pulled her back to your side.
"Aww, look. She's blushing. I've never seen her blushing. Not even when looking at pictures of Idols' abs." Minji cooed, laughter and snickering following.
"You two are dead to me." You said with a glare as you went to stand next to Hoseok.
"Hobi-hyung was so excited when he told us you were coming." Jeongguk let know when everyone calmed down.
"I'm happy he asked me, even if it is moral support." You smiled happily, smile widening when Hoseok's hand slipped into yours. Now, hand holding was something you two did a lot.
"Hah!" Seokjin scoffed. "Moral support, my ass. Hoseok doesn't need moral support, he's won this competition since his first year." You could feel your eyes widening, jaw dropping open.
"The other's don't stand a chance." Jimin smirked.
"We're not trying to be mean or anything, but our Hobi-hyung is the best." Taehyung grinned.
"Hey, how come you never told me how good you are?" You huffed, nudging Hoseok's elbow with yours.
"I thought if I told you, you wouldn't come." He admitted, a slight pout on his lips.
"Oh my God, you idiot!" You lightly slapped him on the arm with your free hands. "I would have come either way. I've always wanted to see you dance."
"I'll win for you tonight." Hoseok promised, ignoring the wolf whistles and whipping sounds that came from the direction of your friends after his words.
You just smiled fondly at him, "That's sweet, but you don't have too."
"I want too." He said quietly. "I've never danced for someone other than my friends and family before."
"Okay, fine. I'll cheer for you."
(Hoseok does end up winning first place. And you two end up having a heated make out session in his dressing room afterwards.)
***
A few weeks after the competition, your mom asked you to go and pick up your sister. You don't warn Hoseok beforehand, wanting to surprise him. You hoped it wasn't a bad surprise. This would be the first time you picked up your sister again after the first time you met. You smiled to yourself, thinking how so much has happened since then.
You walked into the studio, making a beeline for Hoseok.
"Hello again, Hoseok-ssi." You greeted with a serious voice. He spun upto you, eyes wide, and you aimed a lazy grin at him, eyes full of mirth.
"Hello Y/N-ssi." His voice was professional but there was an amused twinkle in his eyes as he smiled at you. "It's good to see you again."
"You too." Was all you we able to get out before your sister joyously shouted your name and barreled into your legs. You laughed, crouching down to give her a proper hug. "Hey squirt. How was class?"
"It was sooooo good. Hobi-oppa is a really really good teacher and fun too. We learnt lots of things. Like this." Your sister ended her own ramble as she demonstrated a move that she learnt in class today, looking at Hoseok when she finished moving, silently asking if she did it right. She positively beamed when he nodded, giving her a thumbs up.
"That's awesome." You ruffled her hair. "Why don't you go get your bag before mom gets home before us and reports us missing?" Your sister nods vigorously, before running away. You turn to Hoseok, heart swelling with affection as you immediately catch his eye. "How's she doing?"
"Good," He said, eyes twinkling. "And I'm not just saying that because she has a gorgeous sister that I like very much."
"Ohhh, keep going." You sing-songed with a grin, crossing your arms over your chest, enjoying the way his cheeks flushed. "Flattery will get you everywhere."
Hoseok tilts an eyebrow at you, "Isn't it usually the other way around?"
"Yeah, but in this case flattery will get you anywhere." You smirked, enjoying the way his flush deepend from you teasing.
Your little sister appeared by your side, looking between the two of you. Then she announced, "Hobi-oppa, my sister is single, if you're interested."
Hoseok looked away and pressed his lips together to stop himself from laughing.
You barely resisted the urge to yank her by the ears as you hissed to her, "Your sister is not single, stop trying to find her a boyfriend. I'm capable of getting one myself."
She gasped, looking at you with wide eyes. "I'm telling mom."
"Mom knows, tattletale." You deadpanned, much to her disappointment. It's true, she knows about you and Hoseok. You sister doesn't. You all decided to keep quiet around the dance school so the other children and their parents can't accuse Hoseok of playing favourites because he's dating you. You also decided not to tell your sister, because you didn't want her to accidentally let it slip out.
The three of you bid your goodbyes, and you and your sister left. You didn't get very far when your phone buzzed.
Hoseok : Not single, huh?
You laugh, practically seeing the happy grin on his face. You two made your relationship official not long after the dance competition and he loves it when you tell people that you're a taken girl. You type a reply with one hand as the other one held onto your sister's.
You: Nope, there's this really great guy that I'm dating.
Hoseok: Luckily guy.
You: I'd like to think we're both lucky.
Hoseok: Sounds fair.
Hoseok: Btw, your ass looked really good in those jeans.
You: Hehe, thanks.
You: You were were rocking the whole soft boyfriend look, btw
"Are you texting your boyfriend?" Your sister asks as she rises on her tiptoes, obviously trying to see on the screen. You make sure to keep it away from her curious eyes.
You smile down at her, "Yeah."
Hoseok: Soft boyfriend look?
"Do you love him?" She asked and you avoided answering her question to answer Hoseok's text, wondering about it. Do you love him?
You: Big t-shirt, sweatpants and barefoot = soft boyfriend look
You: For me, anyway
You: Idk about other people.
The answer came so easily to you. You smiled down at her as you wait for Hoseok to reply. "I think so, yeah."
Hoseok: Ah, gotcha
Hoseok: We still on for tomorrow???
You grinned, butterflies fluttering wildly. Tomorrow evening was Jeongguk's 18th birthday party and you were invited as Hoseok's girlfriend. Apparently it was the formal one - with Jeongguk's family - and then the next evening would be the informal one - with his school friends and Jimin's friends and their friends. You were a little nervous, because only Jeongguk's closest friends was invited to the formal party and while each one could bring a plus one, not everyone did.
At least, that's what Namjoon told you when you ran into him at a coffee shop a few days ago and told him that you'd see him at Jeongguk's party. So, it was kind of a big deal and you were kind of freaking out but mostly, you were excited.
You: Yep, I'll see you there.;)))
The next day, you decided on your nicest clothes, which was the second and last dress you own and a pair pumps.
"You look so cute, I want to eat you." Hoseok had blurted when you opened your dorm room. You raised a brow at him and smiled when he flushed and started back pedalling. "I, uh, um, what I meant to say was-"
"I think you're cute when you scrunch your nose when you don't like something." You cut him off, deciding to have mercy. "Come on in, we still have an hour until we need to go."
He smiled gratefully and you stepped closer to kiss him.
"About what I said just now Hoseok started when you pulled apart, closing the door behind himself.
"There is nothing to explain." You assured him with a gentle smile, heading to your couch.
"No, I need too. I want to be honest with you." He said firmly, but you could tell he was nervous. His shoulders was tensed and it make you feel unsteady. You didn't like that he was distressed. "It's just- I just, I've been thinking about it."
"What, eating me?" You joked, trying to make him relax a little. You looked at him over your shoulder with a teasing smirk, "Sorry, but I'm not into cannibalism."
"Y/N. I'm being serious." His tone made you sober up, turning to him. Hoseok was looking at you, biting his lip, but there was a determined set to his jaw.
"Oh." You felt yourself getting nervous out of nowhere. "Okay. Thinking about what?" You had a good idea what he was thinking about, just not if it was positively or negatively.
Hoseok cleared his throat, looking like he was searching for words before just bracing himself and saying it. "Having sex with you." So, you were right. You will weren't sure if he wanted to tell you that he wants to or not. "I want too." He added on barely a second later for clarification.
Your heart started racing. You blushed a bright red all over - chest, neck, ears, cheeks. You gaped at Hoseok and he waited silently, looking more and more nervous and unsure as each second passed.
You gathered your thoughts and told him the truth.
"Me too." You admitted softly, shyly. "I didn't want to bring it up or push for more during one of our more heated makeout sessions because I wasn't sure what you thought and while I am thinking about it, I'm just not . . ."
Hoseok breath a sigh of relief, so quiet, you almost didn't heard it it. "Not ready yet?"
"Yeah." You nodded. He took his hands in yours, tangling your fingers together.
"I feel the same. Like, in the heat of the moment I want to find out just how flexible you are, but then when I calm down its like something tells me it's not time yet. And that's okay. There's no need to rush. We'll get there." Hoseok said, squeezing your hands, both in comfort and promise.
"Yeah, we will." You smiled, wrapping your arms around his neck. You kiss him deeply, trying to show him everything you were feeling but couldn't define and put into words yet.
Months later, when both of you are completely ready, it's not just right but it's perfect in that fairytale kind of way you always thought was bullshit but secretly hoped for anyways. Afterwards, when you lay on his chest, looking up at his sleeping face, you breathe those three special words, before falling asleep to the soothing sound of Hoseok's heartbeat.
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absoluteyoongit · 4 years
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the morning routine.
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you add a cute new neighbor too your morning routine // neighbors!au // Jungkook x reader // fluff // wc: 1.6k // warnings: i think someone swears once // barely edited // hope you enjoy :)
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You never talked to your quiet neighbor, despite the fact that you saw him every single day.
It seemed like your work schedules were similar because, like clockwork, the two of you would exit your apartment doors at the exact same time.
It startled you at first when he moved in. You always had early mornings. You loved waking up with the sounds of birds singing and the rays of first light peeking through your blinds. With the ease of morning, the opening shift of the day at your work was an easy commitment.
Because of these early mornings, you normally woke up alone, walked out of the apartment complex alone, rode the subway on a nearly empty train, and made it to your job before your boss even opened the store.
This had been your routine since you moved into the city almost a full year ago and you were content spending the mornings alone. It was peaceful and calming.
That was until your neighbor moved in a few weeks ago.
He was cute with curly long hair and a mole below his lips. The thing that drew you in the most about him was his large doe eyes that seemed anxious the first time you made contact with him.
It had been the first Monday after you noticed movers dropping off boxes inside the apartment next door. You had gone through your normal routine, waking up with the birds and making some coffee to go, when you exited your apartment. The loud slam of a door broke you out of your meditative routine.
You snapped your eyes up to the noise and they widened when they came in contact with those nervous doe eyes.
The two of you stared at each other for a few seconds, his hand still gripping the doorknob, before he sped off past you and took the stairs down. You lived on the 9th floor.
Every day after that first encounter was the same. You would wake up, follow your routine, and have an awkward staring contest with your cute neighbor for 30 seconds before he ran past you to take the stairs down. He must have an athlete's stamina or something.
The inevitable morning staring contest that your neighbor would always start and then lose happened every day for a whole month. The whole interaction made you feel very weird and invasive at first but you were here first and this was your morning routine. You were not going to change and if he felt that uncomfortable he would have to change his routine.
Even with your resignation to ignore your nervous neighbor, you couldn't help to look forward to the new part of your routine. He was just another new constant in your life, even if you didn't know his name.
After another month of eye contact, you had grown fond of this barely there-stranger. The more you stared the more you noticed things about him.
The way he looked like a deer stuck in headlights but always seemed to wear all black clothing with big chunky boots. Or the way he would slam his door shut every morning but never made a sound as he sped past you. Or how his soft facial features contrasted with the lean muscle that would sometimes peek out from his clothing .
He was an enigma, your neighbor and now you wished you knew his name.
Today marked the three month anniversary of your first encounter, not that you were keeping track, and you felt particularly extra positive this morning. There was a bounce in your step as you got dressed and made your usual coffee. You felt it in your bones: today was going to be a great day.
Right on schedule, you exited your apartment ready to continue with your favorite part of your morning routine.
Slam. With a beaming smile, you turned your head to meet his gaze only for it to immediately drop into a concerned frown.
It seemed as if someone was having the exact opposite morning as you.
Your eyes opted to scan his figure then lock onto his gaze. His curly hair was unkempt, dark circles rested under his eyes, the last few buttons of his shirt were undone, and one sleeve was cuffed while the other wasn't. Papers and wires spilled out of his work bag as he held a coffee mug to go. He still had those large doe eyes.
You felt the need to say something, anything but your voice caught in your throat as he darted past you, faster and clumsier than usual. He bumped into you as he moved passed and without so much as a sorry, he disappeared down the flight of stairs again.
That was unusual.
It slightly worried you, his disheveled state, but you barely knew him so it felt weird to dwell on it too much. You're sure he will be okay.
You were ready to head down the elevator when you noticed something small and brown on the floor. Crouching down to take a closer look you realized it was a wallet. Your neighbor's wallet.
You picked it up, carefully turning it over in your hands. He was definitely long gone by now. Hopefully, he didn't need it right now. You placed it in your own bag for safekeeping. You felt bad just leaving it on the floor.
Your little distraction only made you a few minutes late in your morning routine. You had made it to work on time versus early.
"Really Y/n? Out of all my employee's I never thought you would be the one to let me down. I can't believe you've done this."
Your boss's words made you roll your eyes, "C'mon Jin, I am really hurt. How can you say this about your favorite employee? Who else would do the morning shift with you? Yoongi? As if."
"Yah, just get to work," Jin snickered.
With that you got to work, attempting to forget about the wallet begging you to take a peek inside. You itched to even just know what his name was, surely he would have an ID, right?
On your lunch break, you stared at the worn leather wallet in your hand, smoothing over some of its cracks. "Oh fuck it."
With one final huff, you opened the wallet, eyes immediately landing on the ID in the clear pocket.
The same doe eyes looked back at you, stifling a giggle. He even looks surprised in photos. A warm feeling grew in your chest staring at your adorable neighbor.
You sighed and tore your eyes to look at more of the ID. Mouth twitching at the sight of his name finally revealed. Jeon Jungkook. Cute.
Feeling satisfied that you finally knew your shy neighbor's name, a just a little bit guilty you move to close the wallet. You hesitate, something colorful peeking out from one of the corners of the pockets.
Squeezing your eyes shut, you paused deciding whether or not to keep snooping around Jungkook's personal info. You knew his name now, he would know that you opened his wallet to see whose it was so what's the harm in poking around some more.
Excited, you flip open the wallet again and took the glittering card out of its slot. A shiny Charizard Pokémon card? You let out a huff in amusement, shaking your head. This guy was getting more and more interesting.
One thing led to another and you found more things that made you intrigued: a lone penny— which you could guess was lucky— a dried flower petal and a picture of him with two other guys. Their arms were around each other as they laughed, eyes crinkling in the corners.
The items made you smile, there was more to your shy neighbor and you definitely wanted to get to know Jeon Jungkook now.
The rest of your shift lasted forever. It was the first time you were racing to get home, rather than taking the usual pretty way back. You had something waiting for you at home, hopefully.
"Hey, Jungkook!"
Jungkook froze in the middle of unlocking his door as he slowly turned his head towards you. You smirk, waving his wallet back and forth in front of your face.
The tension in his face immediately disappeared. "Oh my god, thank you. I have been panicking all-day."
If at all possible, he looked worse than he did this morning. His hair was still unkempt and the dark circles were present. His shirt was buttoned now but a large stain near the collar suggested all the coffee he brought with him this morning didn't end up in his mouth. Still, the smile on his face now as you handed back his wallet was the best thing you have ever seen. You wanted more.
"Seriously– thank you again...uh?"
"Y/n," you fill in for him, "The neighbor that wakes up at the crack of dawn with you every morning. It's nice to meet you Jungkook." You reach out your hand.
His smile grew even wider, showing off his cute large front teeth, as he grasped your hand and shook. "Nice to meet you too."
The two of you kept holding on as another staring contest ensued. This time the crinkles in your eyes overshadowed the months of wide unsure ones.
Jungkook coughed, letting go of your hand to scratch his head. "Uhm– sorry for acting weird. I am just shy, I guess."
"That's okay. We aren't strangers anymore so hopefully, you won't get all big eyed and nervous meeting me in the morning, right?"
"Right," he exhaled.
"Anyway, I should get going. I'll see you tomorrow morning?" you wiggle your eyebrows.
He chuckles, "Yea, I'll see you tomorrow."
It was a comfortable silence as the two of you unlocked your doors. "Oh and Jungkook?
"Uh huh?"
You smirked, "Blastoise would crush Charizard any day," and with that, you closed the door of your apartment, chuckling as you heard his indignant cry.
You definitely wanted more of Jeon Jungkook.
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childofhalloween · 3 years
Text
A Story With No Name Aka Why You Don't Ask Idoits for Dating Advice
So this was a short little one shot I got an idea for after binging Graystillplays Sims videos for days. If the formatting or anything seems off it's because I wrote it all on a phone. Well this short one shot turned out 9 pages long opps. So I hope you enjoy. Also writing an Austrillis slow burn not really sure where it goes but if anyone is interested let me know. Anyways onto the show! Thomas Alan Wenis better known as Tommy looked down at the paper in his hand. This address had to be a mistake. He had just flown down to Florida to get away for a while, see the ocean, maybe even clear up his depression. He hadn't brought much with him just an old suitcase and what little money he drained from his savings account.
That was exactly what attracted him to the random message board offering low rent living. With the price of rent all Tommy was expecting was a cot in a closet somewhere. Not that he minded as long as he had a roof and somewhere to put his black boots he didn't care.
But this, this wasn't right. Couldn't be right. The place was huge. Probably the biggest house he had ever seen. 4 floors are least and he could see the corner a large pool in the back.
He checked the address of his contact Melvin, and it matched. This had to be some sort of scheme. He knew it was too good to be true, like everything else in his life.
With a sigh he picked up his bag walking to the front door. Maybe they would be able to at least point him in the right direction.
Ringing the bell he sat out on the front step for a moment before the large oak door opened and a man dressed only in a towel and some sneakers opened the door.
"Uhhh hi. I'm sorry to disturb you but I am looking for someone at this address. His name is Melvin." Tommy said avoiding eye contact with the red haired man.
"Yeah that's me! Melvin Eugene Johnston. But everyone just calls me Florida Man." He said holding out his hand Tommy awkwardly taking it. "You must be Tommy!"
"Uhhh yeah. I'm sorry did I come at a bad time?" He said motioning to the towel.
"Huh this? Nah. Just like to feel a cool breeze if you know what I mean." He joked opening the door motioning for him to come in.
The place was almost too much for Tommy to take in but nonetheless followed Florida Man on a tour around the house.
"I uhhh….I hate to say I think I miss understood about the price." Tommy said knowing their was no way he could ever afford a place like this.
"Oh don't stress about it. Just get me the $300 whenever. Everyone here is pretty cool. We all just pitch in when we can ya know? We all take turns cleaning and cooking….well except for Aussie. Fire department said they are gonna fine us for another kitchen fire." He said casually. Tommy couldn't help but wonder what he was getting into.
"Then toss in some cash for some beers or food when ya can. Everyone just kind of does their own thing. You will see all kinds of people come and go. Right now we got a lot of our 'lifers'."
"How can you afford this place?" Tommy said looking at another large staircase.
"Oh it's already paid for. I bought it with the money from my lawsuit with Madonna."
"You sued Madonna!?!" Tommy said, not believing what he was hearing.
“Oh yeah I did. Her show was supposed to start at 8 she didn't go on till 10. I wasted so much money on overpriced water down beer I don't even remember the damn thing. Next thing I know I'm in the hospital. Apparently I fell down 12 rows of concrete stairs trying to get some nachos from concessions." He said casually as he continued. "Then I used the money I won to buy this place but it got lonely & quiet by myself so I started renting out rooms. Made for one big odd family."
Opening a door he motioned to Tommy "So here's your room. Get comfortable. When you're done feel free to head on down to the kitchen, meet everyone."
Tommy had hoped he could even find his way back down to the kitchen. It was going to take a little while to get used to this place. He still couldn't wrap his mind around all of this.
But unbeknownst to him the craziest part was yet to come. His new roommates.
Finally finding the kitchen he saw Floridaman busy having a beer next to a tall man with the most epic red beard he'd ever seen and a smaller but seemingly louder blond wearing sunglasses. And behind them both a slightly deranged looking man with jet black hair.
They all seemed to get quiet as he walked awkwardly into the kitchen.
"I was wondering if you were going to find us." Florida Man said thrusting a Bud Lite in Tommy's hand not bothering to ask if he'd want one. "Boys this is our newest guest Tommy Wenis"
The blond let out an almost mocking laugh.
"Wenis!?! Ya gotta be bloody kiddin me. Bet that must have been a rough primary career. The names are just endless!"
"Don't listen to him, he can be a jerk but he doesn't really mean it." The redhead said standing up holding out his hand cordially. "Names Tim by the way."
"Ahhh I'm just taking the piss with ya mate...kinda. Name's Trevor but everyone here likes to call me Australian Man. Ya know obvious reasons."
Finally the dark hair man with the slightly odd shaped face spoke up. "And I'm Colono. Colono Scopy"
"Uh huh...so is this everyone who lives here?" Tommy said looking at the motley crew in front of him.
"No the girls are off doing something or another. I think they mentioned girls day. I don't know I wasn't listening." Florida Man said, looking at the clock on the stove. "But they should be back any minute."
As if on cue the door opened and the sound of over lapped talking was heard.
"Speak of the devil mate." Australian Man said slightly in awe of Florida Man's timing.
A brunette wearing what looked to be a thrift store tourist shirt walked into the kitchen.
"Hey Whitley come here meet our new roommate Tommy." Florida Man said.
"Hey I'm Whitley " she shook his hand. He couldn't help but notice the slight smell of cheap bottom shelf vodka radiating off her.
Next a woman walked in with the best blond afro Tommy had ever seen.
"Hey Bab this is our new roommate Tom-"
"Maybe he'll last longer then the others." Bab said almost miserably as she walked out the back door not stopping.
"Sorry she's kin-d of…." Florida Man tried to think of the word.
"Manic Depressive." The girl with blonde and pink braids said matter of factly. "Text book diagnosis really."
"Are you a Dr?" Tommy asked everyone just laughed.
"Not in the slightest. Just been through a lot of psychologists."
"Ellis Dee, meet Tommy." Florida Man introduced.
"Tommy Wenis." Australian Man said with a snicker.
"Oh my God do people call you Tiny Wenis?" Ellis said with a giggle.
It didn't matter though because all Tommy's attention was now focused on the tall blond with golden hair walking in. He had never seen anyone like her. She was like nothing he'd ever encountered. She was…..she was…..she was absolutely stunning.
"Whose that?" Tommy asked Tim quietly.
"Huh? Oh that's Beth. Be nice, she's a sweet girl." Tim whispered back.
"Hey Beth say hi to Tommy the new guy." Florida said.
"Hi name's Beth." She introduced herself in a thick Southern accent.
"I….uhh...I'm Tommy." Tommy managed to mumble out.
All the guys exchanged an odd look.
"So where are ya rollin in from?" She asked with a smile.
"....I uhhh… I come from….places. I gotta go." He said, scrambling out of the kitchen to his room.
"That was odd." Colono said all the others nodded.
As the months went on Tommy found he had more in common with this rag tag bunch then he ever had with anyone else. He spent his days joking with Colono, drinking beers with the Florida Man & Australian Man, discussing art with Bab Ross, hitting the occasional bong with Ellis Dee, and pretty much bonding with everyone.
Everyone that is except for Beth. It seemed like every time they had a moment together his mind just blanked. Like it shut down to nothing and he couldn't figure out what the hell to say so he would say something awkward and just excuse himself.
It became apparent to everyone what was going on, everyone that was except Beth as she walked into the living room one day.
"Mind if I sat by ya hun?" She asked. He looked up at her eyes wide.
"I….uhh….murder show…..its over…..here you go. For you." He said, tossing the remote at her feet before running out the room.
"Ouch that was painful to watch." Australian Man looked up from the card game the guys had been playing.
Tommy pulled out a chair and plopped down not responding.
"Hey man, it's0 ok you will get her next time." Florid Man said putting a hand on his shoulder sympathetically….well really trying to sneak a peek at Colono's cards
"Ughhh. It's like everytime I try to talk to her I look like a total ass." Tommy grumbled.
"Yah we know, we all seen it." Australian Man joked as threw another chip in the pot.
"Well what am I supposed to say? Hey I think you're gorgeous, will you have a coffee with me?" He said, causing all the other men to laugh.
"No, no. You're thinking too much into it. What women love to hear is compliments." Tim Horton said as Bab Ross happened to walk past. "Watch this."
"Hello Bab you are looking positively radiant today!" Tim said, putting on a charming smile.
"Whatever you say Tim." Bab said with a shrug as she kept walking.
This caused all the other men to crack up.
"Laugh all you want but she acknowledged me. That's progress."
"Nah ya got it all wrong mate. What birds really dig on is a badass." Australian Man said getting up walking to the back yard. "This is how it's done boys."
Strutting slightly he slid up to Ellis Dee who was sitting outside enjoying the sun.
"Hey Ellie." He said acting casual.
"Oh hey Aussie what's up?"
"Did I ever tell you about the time I fought off a whole colony of bog frogs?"
"No I don't think you have."
"Yeah I was out with some blokes and came across these wee little bog frogs must have been mating season or something because next thing I know I'm surrounded by the little wankers! So I start beating them off me. Kicking, punching them in their little frog faces. Just throwing them off left and right. Turns out the little bastards were poisonous. Woke up in the hospital 2 weeks later handcuffed to the hospital bed. Turns out those little piss frogs are on the 'endangered species' list. Luckily for me though the judge granted the coma as time served. All I got was probation and I'll be off that by next year." Australian Man said cooly before something hit him.
"Probation…..OH SHIT! My probation meeting!" He said looking down at his watch. "I'm 6 fucking months late! I can not be arrested again! FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!" he said running into the house leaving behind a very confused Ellis Dee.
All the guys watched as Australian Man ran through the house screaming obscenities as he looked for his cell phone.
"Anyways….what about you Florida Man. How do you talk to the ladies?" Tim Horton asked.
Florida Man shrugged and got up walking to the kitchen to see Whitley at the table drinking a large glass of orange juice.
"Bud Lite?" Florida Man offered holding out a beer. She looked at him confused.
"Its only 11 not even noon. Too early for beer." she said.
"Ok." Florida Man said walking back with both beers.
"Mornings are for screwdrivers." Whitley said to herself pour more dollar vodka into her drink.
"No, no I am sure I called. Yeah right when I landed. No I made sure I message with a Shelly? Or maybe a Jan? Or was it a Steven? I'm not sure. Mighta been a new?.....oh maybe a temp! Bloody hard to find good help huh? I'm sure it's there just check the last few months. Ring when this is all cleared up." Australian Man said, hanging up his phone not waiting for a reply on the other end. "Bloody cunts..….so what'd I miss."
"That's it. That's the only move I got." Florida Man said with a shrug.
"You guys are hopeless. No wonder I'm the only one in a relationship." Colono complained before turning to Tommy. "Tommy don't listen to them they are all going to die alone."
"Hey!"
"Fuck ya too!
"That was rude….but true."
"Women, they love romance. You can sweep a woman off her feet just by words. Just watch my example gentlemen." Colono said as he sauntered out the door to Flo Cane who was watching tv.
"Oh there she is mi amor. I was looking everywhere for you." He said sliding next to her.
"What is it? On no! Are you having issues again? Is the burning back? Have you been taking your meds? Do I need to call the Dr for you again?"
"What!?! No! That's not it!" Colono said in a panic as the sound of laughter came from around the corner.
"Hey don't listen to them. You know stress makes it worse." Flo comforted.
"It's not that!" Colono said frustrated.
"Are you sure? I know how cranky you get when you forget to take your meds."
"I'm not cranky!" Colono yelled as he stormed off.
"I'm making you an appointment just to be sure! I know you are scared of making phone calls." She shouted after him as he stormed off.
The other guys were currently in a huge pile on the floor in total hysterics none of them were able to stand. It took almost 10mins for them to calm down to breathe.
Finally collecting himself Tommy stood up straightening out his clothes. After all that advice he had finally figured it out. He knew what he had to do. Mustering up all the courage he could he moved forward before he could chicken out.
"Where are you going?" Florida Man asked as Tommy made his way outside.
"I'm going to do what I need to." He said walking out into the back yard where the girls currently huddled together talking about how weird the morning had been.
"Hello ladies. Can I talk to Beth alone please?" He asked.
Suddenly a lot made sense as they gave each other a knowing look.
"She's all yours." Whitley said with a l knowing smirk.
Silence still overcame the 2 as they sat there totally obvious to the group of 8 peering around the corner.
"What did you want to talk about?" Beth asked looking over slightly confused about what had been going on. From what she heard it's been a very confusing day.
"I…..I…." He took a deep breath before blurting out quickly. "I think you're absolutely gorgeous and would you like to get coffee with me?"
It took Beth a moment to even figure out what he had said and then another for it to really register.
"You, you think I'm pretty?" She said shocked no one had said anything like that before.
"Gorgeous actually." He said his face was burning red. "Look if I offended you, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"
"Yes." She cut him off.
"Huh?"
"I would love to get coffee with you." She said as a big smile crossed her face.
"Ok when?"
"Now?" She suggested.
"Sounds great." He said getting up offering his hand to her. "I know a great place."
They both walked right past the group of the gawkers so invested in their conversation they didn't even seem to notice.
"Oh my God that is the sweetest thing I've ever seen!" Whitley gushed.
"Guys are never that romantic. She's so lucky." Flo said wistfully.
"Man I wish I could find someone who thinks like that." Ellis mused.
"Yeah it was pretty nice." Bab said in her bored Bab tone.
"Are ya fucking kidding me right now!?!" Australian said, throwing his hands up in the air as he stormed back inside.
"Seriously? That? That's it? Thats romantic?" Colono complained following behind.
"Wow guy did have some skills after all." Florida said patting Tim on the back sympathetically as Tim mumbled to himself annoyed.
"What's their problem?" Bab asked.
"Men are weird." Whitley said all the other girls nodded in agreement.
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