#but yeah there is truly something extremely wrong with anyone who wants to argue that finn had an easy childhood in any capacity

[rickgrimeswifey]

Rebellious - Daryl Dixon

—————————————————————————————

A/n: I have named the mom and dad so you can just imagine like a celebrity’s face or something. Just be prepared that the dad in this is truly something else… I HAVE NOT PROOFREAD!

Category: Really smutty, it’s like a rebel phase rule against father type trope, I threw some angst in here too so be aware of that

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x fem!reader

Season: Not a season since this is pre!apocalypse 

Warnings: Swearing, smut, drinking and drugs, mention of abuse, Daryl’s scars :/, reader is kind of a brat from time to time, lots of arguments between the father and reader, father being extremely rude to Daryl 24/7, pinv ROUGH unprotected sex and a lot of it, descriptions of sex, semi public sex, marking, ...get ready because it’s about to go down fast and it will be one hell of an emotional roller coaster. 

Word count: 9.3k

—————————————————————————————

Y/n was at the beach with some friends, some of these friends being boys. Her father was going to pick her up at any moment. Of course she could get home herself, being nineteen she was just home from college over the summer. She was hugging her friends goodbye when her dad pulled up, giving a longer hug to her friend Jonathan who had just gone through a heartbreak. He needed the comfort more than anyone else she knew at the moment.

She waved goodbye and hurried to the car knowing her dad didn’t like waiting. When she got to the car he did not look happy at all. Y/n cautiously got inside and closed the door, not looking over at her father. If he was mad the last thing she’d want to do is trigger him. As soon as she had put her seatbelt on, he sped out of the parking lot.

“Your mom wanted us to pick up some groceries before coming home so that she can cook dinner for us all.”

“It’s like 7PM couldn’t you guys have done this earlier today?” Y/n groaned annoyed.

“Little missy I’ve been at work all day, couldn’t you have gotten a ride home yourself then? The least you can do is not whine about having to go into the grocery store for ten minutes.” Her father scolded her.

“Whatever...” She mumbled.

Both of them kept quiet after that until her dad opened his mouth again.

“Who was that boy you had your hands all over?”

Y/n furrowed her eyebrows not following what he just said. She hadn’t had her hands all over someone? Then it hit her.

“You mean Jonathan?” She scoffed at her fathers ignorance.

“Yeah that’s his name.” Her father confirmed.

“I gave him a hug, jeez dad. His girlfriend had cheated on him recently so he was sad and needed some comfort.” She explained, knowing her dad was gonna say some obnoxious thing back.

“Lord knows what you do to bring guys comfort.” He mumbled before turning off the car when he had parked.

Y/n scoffed, not believing what she had just heard.

“What is that supposed to mean?” She asked starting to get worked up.

“No time to argue honey, we’re here.” Her dad got out of the car.

Y/n got out of the convertible and slammed the door after her. She followed him without saying a single word. She knew it wasn’t worth arguing with a rich prick like her father because he never listens or believes he’s in the wrong. Although someone was for sure going to be arguing with him, a guy bumped right into him and then proceeded to continue walking like nothing happened afterwards.

“Excuse me!” Her dad raised his voice.

The two turned around and the one that didn’t bump into her dad caught Y/n’s eyes directly. The guy who bumped into her father looked like he was balding. Meanwhile, the shorter guy beside him had blondish brown hair that didn't cover his forehead in the front but it was normal length around his whole head. And it was outgrown so he hadn’t been cutting his hair recently.

“You couldn’t say excuse me after you just bumped right into me?” Her dad continued raising his voice.

“Look man,” the one who looked to be the older one of the two raised his hands in a manner to try and calm Y/n’s father down. “I didn’t notice, alright?”

“Didn’t notice? You rednecks can only do a few things and those things aren’t useful or good.”

The guy got offended by that and the two started arguing. Y/n started checking out the younger one who just stood there, glaring at her dad. She looked him up and down then she finally locked eyes with him. His piercing bright blue eyes made her breath get stuck in her throat. Y/n bit down on her bottom lip while still maintaining eye contact with the guy. She smiled at him and his cheeks looked like they were starting to blush. So he broke off eye contact and scanned her body instead. The cover up she was wearing had cleavage so her breasts were on display only being covered by her bikini. She noticed him staring and an even wider grin broke out across her face.

Her dad had apparently had enough of arguing with the other guy as he gripped his daughters arm to then pull her away roughly. That was when Y/n was forced to stop staring at the mysterious man. He watched her while who he assumed was her father dragged her away.

Y/n kept an eye out for this guy while her dad continued shopping, he was still pissed off. You could tell by the way he slammed the doors to the fridge and furiously went through the list of things to buy. It was actually quite sad to watch, watching him getting worked up for something as small as a little squabble. She knew her dad was a control freak and loved having power, that’s why he felt the need to push someone down over such a small thing. She caught him and the older guy standing at a self check-out, she knew she had to talk to him otherwise she’d never see him again.

She snuck away without her father noticing, with hurried steps she walked towards the two men. The younger one noticed while he looked around as the other one was paying for their stuff. His eyes scanned her up and down once again, now this time he seemed confused. He probably wondered what she wanted. Y/n hadn’t thought through what to say, maybe she should have.

“Hi,” she smiled at him, looking over at the older one as she caught his attention now too. “I just wanted to apologize for my fathers behavior. I know he’s a dick, he has this huge control freak, power obsession and low self-esteem type of thing going on.” She explained earning a chuckle from the both of them.

“We noticed, it was kind of hard to miss.” The older one laughed.

“Again, I’m sorry about that.” Y/n apologized once again, earning a nod from the guy as a way to say that it was nothing to worry about. “But I wanted to talk to you.” She turned to the younger one and smiled at him.

“I’ll wait for ya in the car.” The older one said before getting the receipt and patting the blond brown haired guy on the shoulder, he gave him a proud smile before walking out of the store.

Once he was gone the two maintained eye contact, his piercing blue eyes burning into hers again. His gaze was dangerous and she loved how he looked at her.

“I just wanted to ask you if I could get your number?” Y/n told him boldly.

She had learned to have confidence and go straight in when there was someone she was interested in. Where she went to college it was just to tell someone that you were interested and if they were you’d sleep together. This college nature wasn’t the same off campus but it was worth a shot. He seemed to get a little nervous by her confidence as he nodded shyly. She bit her lip to concede her smile while getting out her phone, she handed it to her and saw him type in his number. He handed it back to her without naming the new contact.

“And what should I name you?” She teased, raising an eyebrow at the guy.

“Uh- name’s Daryl.”

When she heard his voice for the first time, her knees instantly became weak. It was dark, had a strong accent and it was sexy as hell. Everything about him was. The muscles on his arms and how they flexed. His burning gaze, the way he scanned over her body a little now and then.

“Ya should know I don’t use ma phone that much.” Daryl explained, once again scanning over her features.

“Now you’ve got a reason to pick up the phone then.”

He nodded before asking; “What’s yer name?”

“It’s-”

“Y/n L/n you get back here this instant!” her father raised his voice for the whole store to hear.

Y/n sighed and looked over her shoulder to see her father standing there and he did not look happy. She looked back to Daryl who rolled his eyes at her fathers ignorance, making her like him even more.

“I think you and this whole store now know my name.” She giggled. “I gotta go, but I’ll text you and you better pick up Daryl!” Y/n warned him with a beaming smile on her face before hurrying off to her father.

He watched her cover-up slip up a little bit on her thighs when she sprinted over to the grumpy man standing by the vegetables. He turned around and left before she could catch him staring.

The following week went by fast. Y/n and Daryl were texting everyday, she had gotten to know him better but she was mainly flirting a lot with him. Then one day when she was laying in her bed without something to do she received a text from Daryl.

Merle is throwing a party at our apartment wanna come

She had found out that the older guy from the store was Daryl’s big brother. She hadn’t talked to him since that day or seen him so she didn’t really have an opinion on him yet. Y/n also knew that Daryl didn’t live in the nicest neighborhood, it was quite the opposite actually. Where he lived it was filled with shootings, robberies and other things you wouldn’t want to be near. Although Daryl knew if he was going to bring a girl from the rich part of town he’d have to look out for her all night long. Y/n thought it through and this was her chance to meet up with Daryl again, this showed that he was interested in her too. She needed to get out of the house, and her father had been picking on her more and more lately. All that was a problem here was fixing a ride down. She responded with;

yeah sure, i just gotta fix a ride somehow.

Daryl had sure listened to when she said he better pick up his phone because not even a minute later a reply from him came through.

i'll pick you up

She smiled at his text before sending her address. He told her to not dress too nice, just something regular. She understood what he meant with this, Y/n understood herself that she couldn’t come down there with a designer dress and a big diamond necklace. It was around 5 and Daryl said he’d be there at 8. Y/n hurried to the shower, she wanted her hair freshly washed and to smell nice when Daryl picked her up. She spent those three hours getting ready. Blow drying her hair, doing her makeup, styling her hair, picking out a perfume, putting on body lotion and picking out an outfit. As she attempted to do a 90’s blow-out look on her hair she put on a pair of semi low-rise dark blue washed tight jeans with a tight black top. The top had cleavage, she put it on for Daryl since she had caught him staring at her tits the week prior. Her makeup wasn’t anything too much, she didn’t add any eyeshadow, just some eyeliner along her lash line but no wing. She also had base makeup and some mascara. Once she was done it was almost 9PM. So she hurried to put on some sneakers and a pair of small gold earrings with a round gold bracelet.

Y/n made her way through her dad's mansion passing the housekeeper on her way out. She saw Daryl pull up when she stepped outside. He stared at her while she got into his old rusty beat-up truck. The car looked like it had been through a lot but Y/n didn’t judge. As long as she got to spend time with Daryl it didn’t really matter. It looked like he had tried to clean up the car a little before she came into it, there was a nude magazine on the floor and some crumbs from god knows what. She picked up the magazine and raised an eyebrow at Daryl while having a smirk on her face.

“Had to rub one out before you came to see me?” she teased while chuckling mockingly.

Daryl snatched the magazine from her hand and threw it behind his seat.

“They ain’t mine. They’re Merles, sorry ‘bout that.” He scratched his scalp feeling embarrassed from not noticing that it was laying on the floor of the truck.

Y/n smiled at him, she liked that he was respectful in that kind of way. Never once had he talked to her in an inappropriate way or said something disgusting like the guys back at her college. Daryl surely was something different.

“It was a long drive up ‘ere.” He said while starting the car.

The engine roared loudly, not starting at an instant unlike all of her fathers cars. You could tell this car was over twenty years old by just looking at it.

“Sorry if it caused you any trouble.” Y/n apologized not wanting him to go through too much trouble to go get her. “I could’ve gotten another ride down, it would’ve been fine really.”

“Nah, ‘ts fine. Only trouble it caused ‘s the dirty looks yer neighbors gave me.” Daryl looked over to her and smirked.

A huge grin broke out on her face. She knew multiple old people around here who were complete cunts. She already knew what type of looks they had given him, probably calling the police while they were at it. Now that they would see Y/n riding in the car her father would for sure find out and only that brought a sly smirk on her lips.

Daryl wasn’t joking when he said that it was a long drive, when they arrived down it was almost 10PM. He was parking the car while Y/n looked around. She had never been in this type of neighborhood before, in front of her was an old apartment complex that looked beat up. Graffiti on the walls and the roof nor walls looked to have been cleaned in the last decade. As soon as she stepped out of the car she could hear the booming music pumping out from one of the apartments. That must be where Daryl lives with his brother.

He motioned for her to follow him as he opened the door into the complex, he held it open for her and then told her that they had to take the stairs since the elevator was broken. The apartment they were going to was on the third floor, the front door stood open and directly when they got up by the last staircase Y/n smelled how it reeked of weed. It also smelled like vomit and dirt, but that was just the people who also reeked of alcohol.

Before they went into the small apartment packed with at least over sixty people, Daryl grabbed Y/n’s hand. She looked up at him when she felt him lace his fingers with hers. He looked at her as if he hadn’t done anything, his action earning a bright smile from Y/n.

The next couple of hours Y/n danced with Daryl. She had to force him onto the dance floor since he was a little shy and definitely grumpy about dancing. But there she was grinding against him, swaying her hips with the rhythm of the music. Daryl had his mouth by her ear pressing a kiss below it from time to time. Y/n had noticed that Daryl wasn’t much of a drinker, he only had one beer that he held onto practically the entire night. Meanwhile Y/n had two shots of vodka and a beer herself. The pair weren’t anywhere near drunk as they headed to the bathroom hand in hand. It was safe to say Daryl was bricked up, from all the grinding Y/n had been doing against him.

Once they got inside of the bathroom Daryl slammed the door shut before locking it, the loud music now more of a loud beat through the bathroom door. He immediately pressed his hips hard against hers, pinning her to the door with his body. The kiss he pressed to her lips was rough, hot and sloppy. Y/n let out a gasp of surprise when Daryl's hand groped her ass with his left hand while his right one was placed on her jaw. He took this opportunity to slide his tongue into her mouth, their saliva mixing. Y/n finally got a taste of Daryl and right now he tasted like beer and cigarettes. It was no secret that he smoked, it wasn’t something he tried to hide, he had already smoked three cigarettes in the short amount of time they’d been here. The clock was only like midnight. Y/n wrapped her arms around neck, bringing him closer to her body. Once he was close enough she pressed against him, in desperate need of some kind of friction.

With both hands on her ass he picked her up and carried her over to the sink. Not breaking the kiss Daryl undid Y/n’s jeans then proceeded to slide them and her panties down past her knees. He broke off the kiss before kneeling to the ground, Y/n kicked off her shoes making it easier for Daryl to take off her pants. He happily slid them off and then tossed them onto the floor. On his way up he kissed her legs all the way to her thighs. He stopped there and then stood up properly and spread her legs for him to get a good look at her pussy. Daryl groaned at the sight of her wetness, closing the gap between them at an instant he attacked her lips with sloppy kisses. He undid his belt then his jeans before letting them slide down his legs. Then he cupped Y/n’s face before pressing a long rough kiss to her lips, his teeth grazing hers.

Daryl gripped her hips and pulled her forwards so that his crotch was against hers. That’s when he pulled his erection out of his boxers, Y/n looked down at his dick and moaned at the sight of it. She instinctively spread her legs even more before wrapping them securely around Daryl. He guided his tip to her entrance, he kissed her neck before slipping into her making Y/n cry out as he bit down onto her neck. That bite was for sure going to leave a mark.

He started snapping his hips back and forth, in and out of her. His pace became intensely fast, as needy as they were for each other. There wasn’t anything romantic in the way Daryl was fucking Y/n at the moment. It was just their hunger for each other that she allowed him to ravish her. He continued kissing her neck while having a tight grip on her hips. All she could do was moan while he fucked into her brutally over and over again.

She moaned as he leaned into her ear while panting. Daryl angled his thrust and fucked balls deep into Y/n. With every thrust his balls tapped her ass making her scream out loud as he hit her g-spot over and over. Y/n tightened her grip around his neck when she felt the knot in her stomach beginning to undo itself.

“Fuck, Daryl!” She cried out, her walls clenched tightly around Daryl's length.

He grunted into her ear hearing her call out his name while clenching him firmly. The sounds escaping Y/n when she came brought another level of pleasure to Daryl. He felt himself getting close and fucked harder and harder with every thrusts, so hard that Y/n would be sore the next day. She bumped into the wall with each snap of his hips. His pace slowed down as he came closer and closer to the edge. Eventually Daryl stood still after burying his dick as deep as he could inside Y/n. She felt his dick pulsating inside of her before he filled her up with his seed. The warm sensation spread in her stomach while Daryl dropped his head on her shoulder and breathed heavily. Both of them had sweet sticking hair to their foreheads from dancing and fucking.

“Tell me yer mine…” he sighed and kissed her collarbone.

The thing he said caught her off guard, he wanted her to be his girlfriend? Y/n closed her eyes and hummed as he kissed her necks.

“I’m yours.”

That night after their intercourse in the bathroom Daryl drove her home. She was sitting in his car outside of the mansion her dad owned. It was around 2AM in the morning, they had left the party somewhere around 1. Daryl didn’t drink much so that he’d be able to drive her home safely. She looked over at her new boyfriend and smiled.

“I had a lot of fun with you tonight.”

“Feelin’ ‘s mutual.” Daryl told her before leaning in and pressing a long kiss onto her lips. “Yer so damn beautiful.” He praised while cupping her face, making Y/n’s cheeks heat up.

“Can we see each other tomorrow again?” she kissed his lips quickly before pulling back to ask the following question. “Perhaps go on a date?”

Y/n felt Daryl’s hand sneak to her waist down to her ass while they made out in the car before he pulled away and nodded. “Yea’ jus’ text me.”

She pecked his lips and said her goodbyes before watching him drive off. That’s when she turned around and walked towards the mansion, sighing when she saw her dad watching her from the living room window. Y/n knew this meant he’d heard from their neighbors what car she’d been seen in and by the look on his face he was not happy. As soon as she stepped inside the front door her father came rushing towards her.

“Do you know what time it is?” he hissed at her.

“Yeah, I have a watch on my phone.” Y/n sassed against him.

Her dad sighed deeply, rubbing his forehead at her attitude. “What were you doing with that redneck from the store and where have you been?”

“That redneck,” she snapped at him. “Has a name and it’s Daryl.”

“You ungrateful brat don’t you understand that you can’t go hanging around with those types of people!” her dad raised his voice. “I have a reputation to think of! What will people think when they see you drive around in some old shitbox with a disgusting redneck!?”

Y/n sighed at his ignorance. All he thought about was his reputation, that was all that mattered to him.

“I don’t give a shit what they think father.” She noted calmly. “It’s only you who is so superficial.”

That seemed to light a spark of anger in her fathers eyes. His chest was rising rapidly up and down while his nostrils flared.

“Go to your room! I don’t ever want to see you hanging around him ever again! If you do, you’ll be under house arrest for the rest of the summer!” he yelled into her face.

Y/n was too tired to fight with him, all she wanted was to step into her shower and wash the makeup mixed with sweat off her face and body. Without saying another word she walked up the stairs and went into her room.

The next day she woke up feeling good about life. She had a boyfriend, summer break from college and Daryl wanted to meet her today as well. Y/n couldn’t care less of what her father thought. She was an adult now meaning she could do whatever she wanted. Therefore she pulled out her phone and sent a text to Daryl;

let’s go watch a movie

Seconds later a reply came rushing onto her screen;

i dont have money

Y/n frowned at his response before coming up with a solution directly. She typed fast not wanting him to go away from his phone and read the text later;

don’t be silly Daryl I’ll pay for you or we could sneak in…

Her phone rang two minutes later, she knew Daryl wouldn’t want to accept her money at first and was probably thinking through what he was going to say to her offer.

theres an idea i’ll pick you up at 5

Y/n smiled at his text. They had a date for tonight. She was really falling hard for him, she just couldn’t help but to love everything about him. If anything he’d given her the best orgasm of her life last night, no one would compare to Daryl. He was truly something different.

The day went by fast and Y/n told her mother about her new love interest which excited her mother even though the boy wasn’t exactly wealthy. She persuaded her mother into talking her father into letting Daryl come over for dinner. Y/n knew her father would listen to his mother, he always folded when it came to her. Originally he didn’t want to have kids but her mother talked him into it. Though the after affects of it becoming the constant arguments between Y/n and her father.

At 5 Daryl was outside and Y/n hurried to his car longing to see him again, her father wasn’t home from work meaning he probably wouldn’t find out about this. Her mother had promised to keep quiet about the date and talk to him about letting Daryl come over.

Y/n told him about coming over and he was surprisingly chill about it. His only worries are her dad. She reassured him that if he did anything she would tell him off. Y/n had never and will never be afraid of her father. In her mind when he yelled at her that was just annoying. She found his whole presence annoying from time to time. She knew her dad didn’t ever want to have her in the first place because he’d made it pretty clear her whole life by the way he treated her.

Their date went well and two weeks later on a Saturday it was scheduled for Daryl to come over for dinner. Her dad was not happy about the fact that he was coming over but he did it for Y/n’s mothers sake. He dreaded seeing her upset. He didn’t seem to give less shits when his daughter was upset though.

At exactly 6PM Daryl rang the doorbell. He was really good at coming on time. She knew this would be liked by her mother, she would find him charming and adorable. Her dad was a lost cause and she just cared for her mother to get to know him with this dinner. She had told Daryl that too and he trusted what his girlfriends said about her mother. He couldn’t help but to feel his palms sweating while waiting for someone to open the door. Their housekeeper Maria opened the door and gave him a small smile.

“You must be mr. Dixon.”

Daryl felt weird, never a day in his life been called mister before.

“Yuh… that’s me.” He confirmed awkwardly.

“Please come in.” She welcomed him into Y/n’s home.

He’d never been in such a place before. The ceiling was far up, big spacing, expensive furniture and artwork everywhere, not a sign of dirt anywhere, the whole house was well-decorated and wellkept.

“Let me take your jacket, sir.” Maria offered, before he managed to react she had pulled the used old jacket off his shoulders.

Daryl had put on his newest and cleanest clothes, wanting to look as well kept as possible. He was wearing a pair of semi-loose fitted gray jeans and a black t-shirt. It wasn’t anything special but it was his newest clothes. When he stepped into the dining room Y/n caught his eye immediately. She watched how the tight fitted t-shirt hugged his muscles in the right way to get her underwear pooling. He had showered and tried to look wellkept. She couldn't help but to crack a smile at his efforts.

Y/n walked up to him before anyone else had a chance to say something or do something. She put her arm around his bicep, getting a feel of his muscles.

“Mom, dad this is Daryl. My boyfriend.” She introduced him to the two people sitting in their chairs at the dinner table.

The dinner table was big and for once her father wasn’t sitting on the end of it. He was sitting beside Y/n’s mother, who held her hand on his leg. That’s always what she did when she wanted to calm her husband down. Y/n guided her boyfriend to the table, she sat down across her father while Daryl had a seat across from her mother. Her mother inspected the guy in front of her with a smile on her face.

“We’re really happy to have you here, Daryl.” She smiled softly at him, the comment made Daryl loosen up a bit.

The moment they shared was instantly ruined by her father speaking up;

“You are, I’m not.”

Daryl shot a look his way and Y/n’s mother Adelaide immediately went to shut him up.

“Bennet, don’t be rude. He’s our guest.”

He only shook his head before calling out;

“Maria!”

The housekeeper came rushing into the dining room.

“Yes, master Bennet?”

Daryl had to restrain himself from letting out a scoff at the way she talked to him. Y/n’s dad really was the asshole she said he was.

“Go out into the hallway and count my antique sculptures for me. Make sure he didn’t steal anything.” He shot a dirty look Daryl's way immediately making him clench his fists.

Y/n sighed in frustration, she knew her father wouldn’t be able to keep quiet for just two hours. She noticed the way Daryl was clenching his jaw and fists, she reached out and put his fist in her hand rubbing it in a manner to soothe Daryl. It worked as he slowly loosened up and let go of the rude comment her dad had thrown his way.

“Let’s just eat, alright?” Y/n said as their plates were served to them by the house’s butler.

Daryl was shocked by this, never had he seen this type of luxury anywhere. The whole rich prick situation made him uncomfortable. The only reason he stayed in the room was because he didn’t want to disappoint Y/n.

They began eating and Y/n’s mother made smalltalk with Daryl wanting to get to know him better. Her father just stared at him in disgust, wondering why he let him into his house.

“How old are you?” Adelaide asked, genuinely curious.

“‘M twenty-seven.”

Her father looked like he was about to pass away. He slammed his fist on the table making everyone except Y/n jump at his reaction.

“You knew this?” he asked her.

Y/n nodded, rolling her eyes. 

“So you, a nineteen year old, think it’s okay to run around sleeping with someone who’s almost ten years older than you?” he raised his voice once again, growing angrier when Y/n shrugged carelessly. “You’re just whoring around to mess with me. Aren't you?” 

“What did you call me?” Y/n snapped immediately.

“You’re a whore. Sleeping with people ten years older? That’s disgusting, you disgust me.” Her father told her unashamedly.

Y/n looked at him coldly before deciding that she’d insult him too.

“Please, you’re only mad because he can get it up and stay hard without using viagra.”

“Do not talk to me that way!” her father yelled, slamming his hands on the table before pointing at her furiously.

“Then don’t talk to me that way either!” she yelled back. “It's okay for you to insult me and call me a whore but I can’t say anything to you?”

“I am your father!” He reminded her furiously, as if that would’ve been some excuse for his treatment.

Y/n was sick of him and how he treated her. She didn't think before she screamed at him;

“Then start acting like one!”

With that she stood up and threw her father in his face. She gripped Daryl’s hand and pulled him out of there. The pair heard her father calling after her and calling her all sorts of stuff. Daryl grabbed his jacket and put it on while he left with Y/n. He put his hand on the small of her back as they reached the car he spun her around.

“Are ya okey?” he asked in a low whisper, his accent strong from the emotions he was feeling.

Y/n wrapped her arms around his neck and brought him into a hug. She needed his closure right now. “I’m sorry for what he said to you.” She apologized with her face buried in his shirt.

“‘t’s fine, are ya okey?” Daryl kissed her on the top of her head and wrapped his arms tighter around her.

“I’m fine.” She sighed before pulling her head back, she looked up at Daryl before pressing a long kiss onto his soft lips. “Can we just go somewhere?”

He nodded and pressed a kiss onto her lips. “Anywher’ ya’d like.”

That evening Y/n and Daryl drove around town just enjoying each other's company. Later at night they arrived at Daryl’s apartment complex since Y/n didn’t want to go home yet. Daryl had agreed to let her stay over one night. He didn’t like it when she was in his neighborhood because it was dangerous, but it was something about the way his name rolled off her tongue in the sweet tone she used that made him give in. When they entered the apartment Merle was propped on the couch meanwhile his hands roamed a girl's body. The two of them didn’t notice Y/n and Daryl as they were too deep into their makeout session. The apartment was still dirty from the night before. There were beer bottles everywhere, puke in a corner of the living room, it smelt like shit and there were pills laying on the kitchen counter in a tiny plastic bag. Y/n had no idea what it was and something told her she didn’t want to know either.

Daryl grabbed her hand softly and led her to his bedroom. His bedroom was tiny with a bed that almost took up the entire space. It smelled of smoke and Daryl had some posters up on his wall and an old dresser. There was a window in his bedroom that you could see out on the streets through, although Daryl had the blinders shut because he didn’t enjoy having the sun burn into his room in the morning.

“Have a shirt I can borrow?” Y/n asked, looking between the bed and Daryl.

He nodded at her and pulled out a drawer from his dresser. He threw her an old metallica t-shirt, Y/n furrowed her eyebrows, Daryl had not once mentioned music while they talked.

“You into metallica?” She raised an eyebrow at him.

“Who?” He furrowed his eyebrows at her.

The two watched each other in confusion before Y/n let out a soft giggle. She turned the t-shirt around so that he could read what it said.

“Nah, I found that at tha thrift shop. Didn’t know it was related to music.” He explained.

“Fair enough.” Y/n said before turning her back to Daryl “Unzip me, please.” She asked him, he took a hold of the zipper and dragged it down before taking off the black dress she was wearing.

She had wanted to look pretty for the dinner at her place but that went to shit. Meaning she had dressed up for nothing, Y/n knew she wouldn’t be able to take off her make-up but that didn’t matter to her right now. She was just grateful Daryl had given her a place to sleep.

She took off her bra with her back still facing Daryl before putting on his big thrifted t-shirt. According to her it smelled nice, it smelled like Daryl. His scent was some cheap barely holdable deodorant mixed with cigarettes. That smell somehow made Y/n feel safe. Even though she was in a dangerous neighborhood, she knew Daryl was there to protect her if anything were to happen.  

After she got dressed and removed her jewelry, Y/n sat down on Daryl’s bed. She watched him stand in the same spot as before, watching over her. This managed to crack a smile on her face, knowing he’d watched her change and studied her body.

“Come on, let’s sleep.” She leant forward and grabbed his hand, pulling him towards her. “Get out of these clothes.” She smirked, tugging his shirt upwards.

Daryl immediately grabbed her hands harshly and took them off him making Y/n furrow her brows at him. He’d never grabbed her like that before it was almost like he panicked. A thick tension came over the room and all that you could hear was the girl in the living room moaning as Merle fucked her. No one of the two said anything, they stared intensely at each other.

She tried again reaching her hands to unbutton his jeans and this he approved of. He let out a grunt when she undid the zipper, grazing his dick with her knuckle when she did. Daryl kicked off his shoes, revealing that he wasn’t wearing any socks. Y/n tugged his jeans down until they fell off themself.

“You looked so hot today, that shirt and those jeans really showed off your body.” Y/n bit her lip looking up into his eyes.

His eyes had darkened, Daryl leaned down to press a rough kiss against her lips. Y/n allowed him to guide her body down onto the mattress. Her hands went to his hair as she gripped and tugged at it, this making Daryl let out a grunt. She slid her tongue into his mouth, their saliva mixing once again. Everytime they made out it reminded Y/n how much she loved the taste of Daryl. She squirmed in his grip when he groped her breast roughly. Y/n began tugging at his shirt once again and Daryl took a hold of her wrists and pinned them down onto the mattress.

“Don’t.” He warned in a low tone, looking her straight in the eyes.

His tone sent a cold shiver down Y/n’s spine. There Daryl went again, turning into someone she didn’t know. His strong grip on her wrists hurt her, he was holding her too tightly. She understood now that he didn’t want her to remove his shirt, she had no idea what he was hiding from her but she knew she had to respect his boundaries.

“Daryl, you’re hurting me.” Y/n whimpered, trying to squirm out of his grip.

Whatever trance Daryl was in passed in a second when he realized he was hurting her. Immediately releasing her wrists he sat at the edge of the bed, ashamed of himself. Y/n noticed and sat up behind him.

“What’s the matter?” she asked, leaning her head against his shoulder blade.

“Nothin’... I just- I didn’t mean to hurt ya.” He explained running a hand through his hair.

“I don’t know what it is that you are afraid of to show me… just know that I would never judge you or think less of you because of anything you could show me.”

Daryl turned around to face her, when he noticed her worried expression he didn’t know what he was fearing anymore. The last person that would judge him in this world was Y/n, if he showed her he’d be vulnerable and he was afraid she’d laugh at him. Making the decision to be brave and he knew he had to be honest with her if he wanted this relationship of theirs to continue.

“Okey… ‘m gonna take off ma shirt then we’re not gonna say anything more to each other today. Alrigh’? Let’s jus’ go to sleep.” By the way he explained it to her she knew he was ashamed of something.

She knew it was important that she respected him in a situation like this. Therefore she looked him in the eyes and placed her palm over his rough hand.

“Okay.” She whispered.

Y/n laid down beside the wall in the bed, she heard Daryl take a deep breath before he slowly took off his shirt. She had to restrain herself from not gasping out loud when she saw the horrendous scars on his back. It all made sense to her at that moment, why he didn’t want her to remove his shirt. She had wondered why Daryl didn’t have any contact with his dad but when she had brought it up he was quick to dismiss it. He always told her that his dad was an asshole and his mom was dead. After seeing what she had just seen she fully believed that his father was an asshole. All she wanted to do was hug Daryl and tell him how strong he is and how he deserves the world. Although he had told her not to make a big deal out of it, it didn’t feel like her place to make a big thing out of it.

Daryl had laid down in the bed with his back facing her, he didn’t want to see the look on her face because he was afraid it wasn’t going to be anything good. He jumped slightly when he felt Y/n trace on of his scar on his upper back. He wondered what she was doing until he felt her soft lips press against the mark. Daryl let out a sigh of relief, he turned around to face her. Only then did he see the look on her face. He felt the most comfort he’d ever felt in his life as she kissed his forehead before pulling him into her chest. And that’s how the pair fell asleep that night, with Daryl snuggled up against her chest while she ran her hand through his hair. Both of them trying not to cry.

Y/n was woken up the next morning by Daryl who was tracing his finger along her jawline, admiring her face as he did. It felt well having shown her the part of him no one had ever seen before. Once Y/n understood it was Daryl tracing his fingertips along her features she couldn’t hide the huge grin that broke out onto her face.

“What ya smilin’ ‘bout?” He asked, his voice raspy making him sound sexier than ever.

She fluttered her eyelashes before looking at him. She smiled even wider before kissing him passionately.

“I’m always so happy when I’m with you, you know?”

Her words made butterflies erupt in Daryl’s stomach. He felt the same though but never in his entire life did he think he was going to date a rich girl. He’d always seen them as self-absorbed and ignorant, not one girl with money had even made an effort to look his way. All of them saw him as some kind of peasant because he was poor, as someone they’d find maintaining their vegetable garden. But here he was brushing strands of Y/n’s hair behind her ear while smiling at her like an idiot, happier than he’d ever been.

“Can we go back to my place today? While my dad is at work, of course.” Y/n suggested to which Daryl scrunched his nose upwards.

“I don’ like tha way he treats ya…” he sighed.

She stared at him in awe, it was obvious Daryl cared for her a lot. But she had a plan for revenge against her dad. If Daryl agreed to it was the whole trouble of the idea she had come up with.

“He’s an asshole, let’s just forget about him and go back to my place while he isn’t there to ruin the mood.” She smiled, running a hand through his hair.

“Okey, fine.” He sighed.

Y/n bit her lip to not smile even wider, she leaned in and pressed a long soft kiss onto his lips. The two laid in his bed talking about different things and didn’t care about anything else as Y/n made Daryl chuckle. His laugh and smile was something that was rarely seen, but she managed to make him crack a smile from time to time.

Once they got out of bed Y/n got dressed in her black dress and looked at her makeup from the night before. It was smushed and looked like Daryl and her had been going at it all night although that wasn’t the case. She touched it up as much as she could with her fingers while Daryl helped her zip up her dress. He got dressed in the same clothes as yesterday because he heard what she’d said about his outfit the night before.

“Come on, you’re just doing that to tease me.” Y/n groaned at the sight of him in the t-shirt that fit him perfectly.

He just gave her a sly smirk. She rolled her eyes and the two left the room after Y/n had put her jewelry back on. They were walking into the kitchen where Merle was standing, already dressed and ready to get his day going. He caught the sight of the two, looking Y/n up and down. He grinned when he saw her face, by the look on his face she could tell what he was thinking.

“Looks like ya got lucky lil’ brother.” He chuckled. “She certainly is a nice one though, looks like an upgrade from all those dumb college bitches.”

Daryl just scoffed at him in anger while Y/n gave him a dirty look, choosing to ignore the statement of Daryl bringing home a lot of girls. This was the first thing Merle had said to her since the store.

“We got that business to take care of tomorrow so ya can’t go running off with your new fling then.” He said.

Y/n couldn’t ignore the stab she felt in her stomach. If he referred to her as a new fling maybe what she had with Daryl wasn’t anything special. Maybe he brought home new girls all the time. Those thoughts were dismissed when she heard Daryl speak up;

“What do ya mean “new fling”, I haven’t had any others, have I?”

“Whoa, calm down.” Merle smirked at him. “Ya already know this only will last a week more, like all your other relationships.”

Y/n felt an uneasy feeling in her stomach, by what Merle had said and also because of the way Daryl was staring at him. The tension between the two men was strong and made Y/n feel uneasy. Merle and Daryl looked ready to fight each other but Daryl caved after a while. Grabbing Y/n’s arm before pulling her away hurriedly. That’s when she understood his brother had a hold of him in some kind of way, he was kind of submissive to him. Just as if he was manipulated, she understood Merle had been more of a parenting figure to him than anyone else. That’s why he pulled her away from the scene and didn’t say one more word.

They got to the car and Daryl got inside without a further word. He started the car and looked out on the road as they began moving. Y/n watched over him carefully, she could tell he was angry. What Merle had just said bothered him a lot, she wondered if it was because he didn’t think it was true or because he knew it was true.

“What the hell was that?” She managed to get out after a while.

“Let’s jus’ not talk ‘bout it.” He shut her up immediately.

“Well, I want to talk about it.” Y/n pushed, making Daryl’s gaze snap over to her for a second.

“What ‘s ther’ to talk ‘bout?” He asked, looking back onto the road.

“For starters, is what he said true?” She wondered, preparing for the worst.

Daryl chewed nervously on his bottom lip, thinking through what he was going to say to not make it sound wrong. “Yea’, all my other relationships have gon’ ta shit in two months.” He looked into her eyes. “But I never showed them… you know.” Daryl averted his gaze from hers, looking down onto the floor.

Y/n looked at him with soft eyes, he must trust her a whole lot to have shown that. She didn’t know what to respond with which resulted with her staring at Daryl. This made him nervous thinking she was mad at him or something.

“Not even Merle has seen it… I dunno- I just-” he was cut off by Y/n placing her hand on his leg.

The two locked eyes again, she rubbed her thumb on his leg making his shoulder untense slowly. “It’s fine, Daryl. He doesn’t know how this will end, he doesn’t know anything about us.” She reassured him, watching as his grip on the steering wheel loosened up a bit.

He nodded and the rest of the ride to her house was silent. A sort of silence that was both comfortable and uncomfortable. They had talked about it but not talked about it all. There were still things none of them brought up, like how she wondered how many girls he had brought home. She chose not to ask him about it though because he’d probably accuse her of calling him a slut.  

Once they reached Y/n’s front porch they looked at each other with love in their eyes but also pity. They both felt bad for each other, Daryl because he didn’t want Y/n to think that she meant nothing to him. He felt guilty for being too much of a coward to tell her the truth. Meanwhile she felt bad for Daryl because he was clearly upset, and she felt like it wasn’t her place to ask him about something so personal as his past relationship or how his brother is to him. Her heart was aching for how hurt he had been in the past and it was clear now, more than ever, that Merle wasn’t making it better for him.

She opened the door for him, the house was empty this time of day. Her mother was out at the country club with some friends having lunch and her father at work. Y/n led Daryl into the living room, or one of them. The mansion she lived in was absolutely huge, Daryl had never ever seen anything like it. Everytime he stepped a foot in there he could hear Merle echoing in his head to snatch something they could sell for a lot of money. They sat down on an overly expensive white couch that her mother had bought. She was into furniture, antique or modern. It didn't matter as long as it was expensive.

“For a couch worth forty thousand dollars, it sure is pretty uncomfortable.” Y/n stated, making her boyfriend look over at her with a surprised expression.

“Forty grand?” He almost shouted.

She nodded in response. “I know.”

Daryl once again scoffed at all this rich people shit, earning a grin from Y/n. She immediately leaned in to kiss him. Quickly capturing his lips with hers, she grabbed at Daryl’s biceps while kissing him harder and harder. He took his opportunity to start groping her, her breasts, ass, anywhere he could grab onto. She gasped into his mouth and smiled, breathing heavily into his mouth. Daryl also smiled and then pulled her on top of him. With his hands gripping her ass she slid her hands up and down his chest while she pressed her covered heat against his growing erection.

Y/n squealed surprised when Daryl flipped her so that she was now underneath him. He began pressing wet kisses on her neck, latching onto her sweet spot that he found with ease. He marked her neck and her hands were rubbing harshly up and down his upper back and shoulders, desperately searching for more friction while bucking her hips upwards.

She groaned feeling Daryl's lips leave her neck and wondered what he was doing as he stopped touching her completely before hovering with his face above hers. Y/n let her hands stroke his cheeks while he looked deeply into her eyes, she could tell he was still upset. Daryl then went down to press the most soft and delicate kiss to her lips. The action so sweet Y/n practically melted by his touch.

“Ya know that yer not jus’ nothin’ to me right?” He mumbled against her lips, his mind preventing him from being able to give himself to her from the consuming guilt.

“Of course… or… I do now at least.” She searched after his eyes, he was refusing to look into hers.

“So ya believed wha’ Merle said?” The tone he used was enough to break her heart.

He sounded genuinely hurt, he probably felt very judged. When he actually looked into her eyes it was her time to break off the eye contact bashfully.

“I don’t know… I just feel naive if I don’t when you don’t even want to explain what he meant.”

This time Daryl stayed quiet and Y/n could feel his gaze burning through her. That gaze meant he was growing angry. From only the small amount of time they’d known each other it had been so easy for her to get to know and recognize Daryl’s body language, also what ticked him off and what didn’t. She gazed back softly into his eyes.

“That’s jus’ it! He dun mean anythin’.” He exclaimed while sitting up.

“Daryl, it’s okay… I won’t ever believe him again because now that you’ve explained, I know how he works. Maybe this is why your other relationships haven’t worked, because you are too afraid of your brother and also to communicate!” The last sentence that came out of her mouth was supposed to be sweet and comforting, it turned out to be anything but that.

Daryl looked at her angrily before his eyes softened after a minute. He had debated on who to believe, because Merle had always told him otherwise. That it was their fault and they wanted to separate him and his brother. The longer he thought about it the more he realized that she was right. Daryl was afraid, not of his brother but to lose him because he felt like he was the only one who had ever cared for him. Now it was different, he had a girl who had opened his eyes up to new things and who he could snuggle up against and feel safe with.

“Yer right…” he mumbled. “’M sorry.”

“Don’t apologize Daryl, you have nothing to be sorry for.” Y/n leant forward and kissed him on the lips carefully.

“I- I think I love ya…” he confessed, the words first swept her off her feet and took her by complete surprise.

“Oh, Daryl…” she sighed lovingly. “I love you too.” She jumped forward and kissed him with a huge grin on her face.

“Yer crazy girl.” He chuckled before going back to his position on top of her.

—————————————————————————————

Tag list: (click here to be apart of it!)

@slut4glenn // @nobody_somebody_me // @cherry-lovr // @daryl-dixons-left-nut​ // @bath1lda​ // @Lilith8211 // @justhurtnocomfort​ // @iwantmethgivememeth​ // @imaginethat16​ // @xjennyx2 // @Bebopsworld // @nicepeony​ // @graciepies​ // @hopefulatrocity​ // 

—————————————————————————————

[unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240]

Can you expand on "Personally, my ideal solution is that actually private property as we currently understand it wouldn't exist, and we would all each have rights and responsibilities to the land and the environment that were proportional, in which case this scenario wouldn't have happened in the first place."?

I'm just a little confused on what u mean I guess. Do u think all houses should be state owned? How do people have places to live under this I think I'm missing something

Also I promise this is in good faith I'm actually curious on how u think it should work

Look, I don't have a manifesto locked and loaded or anything, but the values I'm alluding to here are: (1) housing is a human right and our rules and social systems should be adjusted accordingly, and (2) the entire concept of "property" as we currently relate to it? Is kinda batshit.

The first one has been talked about at length by people smarter and more learned in that area than me, so I'm just going to talk about the latter.

For the latter, the first step is to question what it means to "own" something. Generally people use it to mean that you have the right to do anything (legal) that you want with it, and no one else gets a say. The only person with any legal rights here that can be enforced are the owner(s), and rarely are there other voices considered. The ability to be owned is a total negation of the owned-thing's interests and voice.

Now the obvious stomach-churning worst historical example of this is chattel slavery. Obviously we rejected that as a society, even if we now have other forms of slavery/forced labor. But think about how that idea hasn't truly gone away in the underlying attitudes that many adults (especially but far from exclusively parents) have towards children. Children rarely have rights and typically the most they can legally demand are protection. And even that is frequently sadly lacking in comparison to the "right" of a parent to see and raise their child with or without regard to the child's consent.

Wives also faced similar issues until very recently in history, and there are still plenty of men who feel strongly about their "ownership" rights over a particular woman's sexuality, domestic labor, reproduction, etc.

Why am I talking about the shitty ways in which people claim power over one another through the schema of property rights? Because we have progressed just enough as a society to understand how patently absurd it is to think you can truly "own" a person or any aspect of their being. (Usually.) Because most people can appreciate that other human beings also have voices and independent thoughts and desires from you. It's the far end extreme example of an idea that is, frankly, inherently rather absurd, and that's why I lay it as an outer boundary.

Some people have moved on to also understanding how absurd it is to think we own non-human animals as well. There are unfortunately people who will then use this to anthropomorphize animals and argue for animals rights, etc. which is not what I'm arguing here. But I don't think you can ever really own the totality of an animal - it is never going to be an object, without its own will or desires. Anyone who has had a pet or livestock understands this from experience.

But can the same thing be said about land? I would argue: Yeah, Actually. People think that land is not alive, but they are wrong. Any gardener can tell you otherwise. The dirt is positively teeming with life, even if it is invisible to the naked eye. All things that live there depend on the health of the land they live on. People do get the idea that you can't just separate the effects a dump or radioactive waste treatment facility with an invisible legal line, but they don't apply that same idea to everyday activities such as, for example, pesticides. You want to grow an organic garden in your backyard or set up beehive? Too bad, your neighbor wants to use Roundup on her begonias and your other neighbor can't stop mowing his lawn within an inch of its life.

So the idea that our land (and water, and air) usage is atomized and individual, subject to the whims of whatever owner happens to perchance buy it is absurd for environmental reasons, obviously. (American individualism is a disease.) But even moving beyond that - I really don't understand how anyone thinks that you can truly "own" land. If anything, we are creatures of it, owned by it, rather than the other way around. In the Hebrew Bible, the first human was Adam, which comes from the word for soil: adamah. We are the beings of the earth, and we are set up as caretakers, stewards of it. But even moving on from a spiritual justification for this belief, have you tried to control a piece of land? A house is a constant battle against time, weather, erosion, and tectonic shifts to keep it stable and functional. The land and its living soil and living waters and living wind will beat down all human efforts to the contrary and grow wild over them given enough time without human intervention. That is the nature of things. The land is alive and we owe it to ourselves, our neighbors (human and not), and the land itself to be in relationship with the land rather than deluding ourselves that we have dominion over it like some kind of mini-gods. And that is true for water and air as well - both also living and essential aspects of our world that we need to be in relationship with rather than continuing to take and take and take without giving anything back. And we're starting to see the bad effects that has on us; if we injure our natural environment and fail to care for it, our health will also suffer and the land will not be able to provide for us.

So I would just as soon see this absurd idea of owning land abolished and replaced with some sort of system of responsibility and accountability towards the land in partnership with the idea of providing shelter to all people.

Do I have any ideas about how to accomplish this from a culture shift or administrative perspective? Absolutely not. That's why it's an ideal rather than a practical answer.

[paleparearchive]

Calm and Composed

Giotto's 2nd initial 3★ story (2/2) ( 1 - 2 )

Location: atelier 1 (morning) | Characters: Giotto, Kuroda, Manet, Aoi/MC

Giotto: … Let's go in.

Aoi: Y-Yes…!

(I don't believe the fight is already over…)

—

Manet: Who do you think you are to tell me what to do?

Aoi: (Yeah, it's not over…)

Manet: There is nothing wrong in the color I have chosen after careful consideration.

Kuroda: Goodness… I'm saying that you're below the bottom because you won't take people's advice.

Aoi: (The atmosphere... The atmosphere is so bad... This might make you want to run away…)

Kuroda: Why don't you look around a little?

Manet: Are you trying to say that I don't see what's going on around me?

Kuroda: Oh my, it seems you can understand human language. Since you don't listen to people at all, I thought you had an intelligence below the average.

Manet: There is simply no need to listen to something that is not worth listening to.

Kuroda: Sigh, I feel sorry for your works, Manet. There is still so much room for growth in the future.

Manet: It is up to me to make the most of my work or kill it. I don't deserve to be told what to do by others. Or do you take everything others say and produce your works? Once you stop thinking about it, it won't no longer be your work.

Aoi: (The two of them often get into fights, but rarely do they get so heated… This may indeed be difficult to arbitrate even for Giotto-san…)

Giotto: I see. This is 'bout right.

Aoi: Huh…?

Giotto: Well, just watch.

Aoi: (Huuuh…!? He smiled and walked in between the two of them, but will it really be okay…!?)

Giotto: Now now ya two, why dontcha just calm down a lil'?

Manet: What kind of thinking is it to suddenly jump in a conversation? It has nothing to do with you.

Kuroda: He's right. Also, we're quite calm. Your point is extremely misguided.

Manet: Yeah, and that point could be made for you too, Kuroda. The misguided part.

Kuroda: Oooh… Let's hear carefully how I was misguided.

Manet: If I have any free time for that, I would want to go ahead with my own production. I don't have the slightest bit of time to spend on your sterile discussions.

Aoi: (Aaah…! They're back to fighting again…)

Giotto: Manet. It's good to stand up for your beliefs, but is that enough?

Manet: … What?

Giotto: If ya listen to other people's advice, ya might discover somethin' new that ya might not realize on your own.

Manet: Well… That's certainly true, but…

Giotto: Kuroda, why dontcha phrase it a lil' different way?

Kuroda: Are you trying to lecture me, Giotto?

Giotto: No, I just thought it'd be a waste. Even the best advice can be taken either favorably or negatively, depending on how ya say it… As a teacher, ya should know it best, right?

Kuroda: Well… that is right.

Giotto: Ya both just did up each other's buttons wrongly. There's no point in ya two arguin'... Dontcha agree?

Manet: Sigh… This is getting ridiculous.

Kuroda: Yeah, that's absolutely right.

Aoi: (Thank god… Manet-san and Kuroda-san seem to have stopped arguing.)

Aoi: Thank you so much, Giotto-san.

Giotto: Well, it's called wisdom of age. I'm the oldest person in this museum, after all.

Manet: What wisdom of age? It's not like you're much older than us.

Kuroda: I agree with you. How dare you talk to me like you're that much older? It seems that you're more skilled at self-deprecation than anyone else.

Giotto: Oh? For the first time, the two of ya are on the same page! At this rate you'll be makin' up soon!

Manet: What's the point of making up? We were never on good terms to begin with.

Kuroda: I agree. And at our age, who says we're going to make up?

Manet: I'll continue painting in a different place. Farewell.

Kuroda: I think I'll go to a quieter place.

Aoi: … The two of them are gone.

Giotto: Good grief… They ain't honest at all.

Aoi: (He seems to be enjoying himself while saying that. Giotto-san is truly reliable.)

Giotto: Well, now that the atelier's at peace, let's go call those who ran away from here.

Aoi: Right!

[tears-of-boredom]

she just has zero nuance. i talked about menial things like the weather and what we're going to eat? we astablished a connection. i talk about how it would be nice to do different things sometimes? im ready and cabable to do those things as soons as opportunity arrives. i dont fucking get it. im your daughter. you have to fucking know just how little you know about me. maybe i dont talk because everytime I try and explain why she's misrepresenting me, she literally starts to argue about how, actually no she's not, it's just how she sees the situation. and then my viewpoint gets forgotten. even me deciding to make a point and sit on the couch until 12, is now "yeah I talked to her and explained how important this was". no. i was trying to fucking show you how much of a corpse i look because I haven't slep. i was showing to not force me to do shit because i wont fucking comply. i was not answering the useless questions. i didnt have the energy to do so. like I said I wouldnt. also her reminding everyone how good my grades would be if I put some effort into them has become such a fucking trigger by now. give me a genuine compliment for once. oh wait you cant because you dont fucking knoe anything about me. me going to church on two sundays is not me being actually interested in going to church. its me trying to come up with anything to look forward to, and desperately just deciding to try if the christian god suddenly wants to help me. i know that there is no way for you to know that, and that to you it may seems like i specifically like the "going to church" part of it. but there is no way for you to know if your view is correct either. so dont fucking frame it in that way to these adults, who are no doubt going to take everything you say at face value. i prefer the buddy system they are planning over living away from home, because I can't see either one working, but atleast for the other i dont have to pack a lot of shit and be forced to sociliaze. the first time I was away, the staff commented how, at first I was really hanging around the others, but then later holed myself in my room. they are fucking idiots. of course I would try and please the adults, did you not hear the quiet but talented syndrome my mom diagnosed me with. and naturally i get fucking tired of having to humor these adults every day like its a fucking job. my wants did not change over time, I just realised that i actually could refuse on doing activities, and that people wouldnt see me as a bad child because of that.

i fucking hate adults. why do they trust my mom so much. why does my mom think that the therapy is working. why does she think my school absences are related to something so trivial as her not being home as much. and it's just so fucking frustrating how she technically doesnt state the things as facts, but she frames them in that way where it is so fucking implied that what shes saying is the truth and that she knows me and can tell shit by just observing me in an enviroment that has her in it.

i cant fucking see from these weird water droplets in my eyes suddenly.

she takes me being annoyed as like, me being really offended.

i just dont know what im supposed to say or do. I cant bring myself to actually open up to anyone who I'm supposed to, because my mom has made me think that no one will understand my words and will always take them the wrong way.

crying to see you again by miley cyrus is truly something. why me. why the fuck. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why. why do I have to live.

i just feel like i should do something but because i cant bring myself to do anything it feels like its my fault. my pillow is so fucking wet and im ugly crying in that way where your face twists to extremes and you cant stop it and I fucking hate life.

why do other people get to have a fucking life and I get this. sorry i dont actually mean that good for you if you have a life im just so fucking jealous.

i hate adults. none of them ever seem to realise that children are capable of humoring adults. playing along. theyre just so fucking stupid. and they probably all allistic as well. the ones in my "adults trying to help me" circle i mean.

it was also really painful how mom talks always like getting me to go to school is the top priority. like she genuinely doesnt see the mental health issues. she genuinely thinks I havent daydreamed about killing her. she thinks that me going to school is even on the table. ahe thinks that my mental health has just had severe downs, from which i recoverved from. she thinks i dont have trauma.

im tired. from the lack of sleep and probably all the crying as well.

im sad that I cant bring myself to kms. i dont know id just like to step out. quit the game. stop this bullshit thats happening.

[yellowis4happy]

Thank you for the most succinct comeback to Whatserface’s idiocy I’ve ever seen. No waffling, no trying to argue your point, just a quick ‘there is something deeply wrong with you’ and a block. Beautiful. She’s going to keep trying to link your name now and get you to unblock and debate her, because that’s her kink or something. I’d suggest reporting her, and blocking any of her followers who try to debate you for her by proxy. I’m sorry, you are right that there is something deeply wrong here.

She can do whatever she wants bc I've already forgotten her username 💖

[karlswrites]

A Grimm Trip

This is part two of the Devildom boys carrying you around. From here on out, this little series shall be affectionally named the Devildom Taxi Service. This week's boy is Mams the Man.

I hope y'all enjoy a protective Mammon!

Warnings: Some violence? Like, there's no blood. Also, you have a twisted ankle, so... sorry. There's that good fluff, though...

Word Count: 1,694

When arriving at the Devildom- even though it was a shock- you didn’t expect most demons to be friendly with you. You expected some cursing and the classic life endangerment, but you didn’t expect high-school-level bullying. You were in college, for Pete’s sake. Needless to say, the demon foot sticking out by your classroom’s door was an unpleasant surprise. So was the faceplant that followed right after.

You attempted to stand back up, pulling yourself up by your elbows and knees. Within one second, a disheveled Mammon (Let’s be honest, he would sprint to you) was kneeling at your side. His hands made swift movements, one landing at the small of your back and the other grabbing at one of your wrists. He pulled you up and into him.

His heartbeat drummed against your ears. It was beating fast. Whether it was from worrying about you or embarrassment, you didn’t know. Still, the sound fluttered around you, engulfing you in warmth. Expected to see a miffed Mammon, as he was typically vexed by you getting in trouble, you looked up. Mammon had apparently decided to look at you then, too. A furious blush washed over his cheeks and ears when he noticed how close you were. The expression was surprising, and the shock of it made you grow a similar shade in return. Again, you felt his pulse rate increase. That somehow calmed you, and you began to relish in everything that was Mammon. He was always so selfless as to embarrass himself in your stead. Stepping in right after you suffered a measly trip, caring not for his tarnished reputation. His brothers always called him selfish, but, boy howdy, were they wrong.

Mammy released your wrist but kept his hand on your back, ensuring that you wouldn’t fall back down. The two of you began to stand together when a sharp pain shot through your ankle. Mammon immediately lowered you back to the floor, sitting you back against the wall.

“Whoa, hey! Are you okay?” he asked, words tumbling out of his mouth about a mile a minute.

You almost couldn’t understand him, though his urgency to treat you was sweet. Futilely, you tried to ensure him that you were fine, but that same pain returned when you attempted to move again. Turning your foot felt like a death sentence; you were in rough shape.

Before you could muster any soothing words, Mammon was at his feet again. Never taking his eyes off you, he approached the other student still laughing at his desk. The boy fell silent when he noticed the Avatar of Greed was standing before him. The cocky grin he wore turned panicked.

“You think it’s funny? You think hurting my human is funny?” Mammon’s voice lowered an octave as he spoke. Some semblance of a growl echoed from his throat.

Those shrill screams and whines you had once associated him with melted away from your memory and were replaced by, if you thought you had heard correctly, his snarl. He was clearly pissed off. Being the only demon who never laid a hand on you, it was a bit scary to see him behave like this. Anger was beginning to physically manifest around him; the lights dimmed and the surrounding air started to cumulate into black fog.

Being the fourth (I’m putting Barbatos at #2) most powerful demon, Mammon was capable of things beyond your imagination. Fear took the reigns in your brain as you began to imagine a series of scenarios, each pumping more and more cortisol into your veins. One image showed the greedy demon decimating your classmate, claws ripping into their uniform, fangs plunging into any extremity he could reach, horns threatening to pierce through the top of his head. It was quite the contrast to how he typically acted when terrorized by Lucifer or any of his other brothers. He’d allow them to hang him from the ceiling, but God forbid anyone to do anything like that to you. You were his emotional support human, and he wanted to protect you as your first. Anyone who hurt you was begging for whatever they got.

You were pulled from your thoughts when the unnamed demon yelped. Mammon had lifted him, fists curling into his jacket’s collar. The black fog had begun to swirl around the two, gradually rising from Mammon’s feet into the air. With each curse and threat escaping his lips, the fog rose higher and higher. If things continued like this, the two would be swallowed whole by the essence.

Knowing that there was no other way to stop Mammon from making a mistake, you called out him. The golden glow from Mammon’s sigil emitted from your back and through the thick material of your jacket. A wave of strength coursed through you as you stretched a hand out towards the two.

“Stop.” Your voice rang louder than you intended, but you were surprised by how clear it was. Your body was still shaking, but it definitely didn’t sound like it.

Mammon froze. His hands stilled as if frozen in time. The black fog dissipated completely a second after your command reached him.

“Let him go, Mammon. Come back to me.” Mammon eased at your soft voice and followed your orders without a thought.

When he looked back at you, his eyes gleamed with something: a mixture of gratitude and shame. There was rarely a cause for you to command him, and he hated every single time he brought you to control him. It wasn’t relinquishing himself to you that upset him. No, it was that he had let you down. To him, he had done something grave. Anything that he did that wasn’t right with you was like a cardinal sin in his eyes. His perception was a tad melodramatic, but after how you fixed the broken remnants of his family, you were truly an angel to him. Disappointing you had become his biggest fear and grievance.

“It’s okay,” you called to him, your voice beginning to waver as the sigil’s magic wore off. “You’re okay.”

You silently prayed that your words anchored themselves to him, and you made a note to yourself to praise him for his kindness later once you saw the light returning to his golden orbs- the same gold that brightened when he let the student go and raced back to your side. Mammon was still undoubtedly angry at the other demon, baring teeth as he glared at him over his shoulder. Getting the hint, he and your other classmates hurried out of the room.

Mammon asked again if you were okay. You said yes. His eyes traveled from yours to your ankle (When writing this, I almost said, “His eyes traveled down south for the winter. Not even kidding), and he removed your shoe. He wrapped his hand around your ankle and gently poked it with his thumb, eliciting a quiet whimper. The pout he gave after almost made you laugh despite the pain.

“Yeah, I ain’t lettin’ ya walk like that,” he murmured. His eyes met yours again and his pout spread into a white smile. “Guess it’s my duty to help ya back to your room.”

As you recalled one past life-threatening instance, you understood Mammy loved playing the hero, so you agreed.

Mammon turned on his knees, facing his back towards you. Carefully, he trudged backward to you, keeping his eyes trained to yours. He was subconsciously looking for any sign of discomfort- another testament to how caring he was, even if he didn’t recognize it. He gripped the backside of your knees firmly and dipped his head. That gave you enough room to pull yourself forward, wrapping your arms over his shoulders, mindful not to put too much pressure around his neck. You didn’t want to accidentally choke your knight in messy uniform.

“I hope I’m not too heavy,” you breathed against his neck. He shook off the shiver you caused with a hearty laugh.

“There’s no way you’re too heavy for the Great Mammon!” he protested, pulling you closer to him by your knees.

In one fluid motion, he hoisted you up and stood. He was pretty graceful for a “scumbag,” and you hugged yourself closer. Your chin found a home on his shoulder, slipping past the undone collar of his shirt, clinging to the warmth of his skin. Additionally, your arms were pushing his jacket further past his shoulders to his elbows, but there was no way he was going to complain. On the contrary, the pink gracing his cheeks proposed he liked the closeness. Well, that wasn’t very tsundere of him. Before you could catch it, a giggle slipped past your lips as he stepped out of the classroom.

“What’s so funny, human?” Mammon asked, nudging your cheek with his. You wondered if he could feel how he made your face hotter than hell. He must have because his step faltered.

“Nothing. Just thinking about how selfless you are.” That was sorta true.

Unlike the cheerfulness that rang from him before, his laugh was dull. He removed his cheek from yours and looked straight ahead.

“I ain’t selfless!” His hollow laugh died down, and he turned serious. “If anything, I’m selfish and greedy. I wanted to be the hero, I wanted to save you, and nobody else ain’t gonna get the chance to when I’m around!” His voice picked up when he finished, and his eyes were renewed with vibrancy as he looked to you. He cheered himself up with his own words, and his “greed” flowed from him like sweetness.

“Still, you’re sweet to help me. Thank you,” you cooed, connecting your cheeks once again.

This time, it was Mammy’s turn to erupt into a flustered state. He almost tripped over his own two feet, though he was careful to keep himself up. He was carrying precious cargo after all.

Upon delivering you to your dorm, the two of you spent the rest of the day watching your favorite shows and movies, eating your favorite snacks. Of course, Mammon argued he only allowed such thing ‘cause he liked them too.’

Lucifer's (Part 1): Pride In Arms

[buzzykrueger]

When Gon’s anger becomes a protective mechanism for Killua

IMPORTANT: The text is long, plus, I do not support Gon hate. He’s a human being and a kid, so don’t worry, none of my analysis will put him as a monster.

You know the theory that one of the reasons Gon shuts Killua out from Pitou’s fight, besides proving himself and erasing his guilt, is also to keep Killua safe? I didn’t understand at first, but I kinda agree with that now.

Remember the “YES I AM AN IDIOT” iconic scene, Greed Island arc?

Let’s talk about that and link it all.

They’ve spent half of the chapter 158 arguing because Gon kept insisting on meeting this “Chrollo Lucilfer” person inside the game, while Killua was trying to be logical, saying that this person wouldn’t clarify their reasons only by asking them. Killua eventually gives in, and after Gon uses the card, they travel to met not Chrollo, but Hisoka, who asks if they went all that way just to ask him a question (implying how dumb it was).

Gon says that’s pretty much their reason and Killua kept teasing Gon on his dumb choice.

But after some ping-pong teasing between them, the reason Gon was being stubborn is, actually, a concern that lights up on his mind with memories of his journey to rescue Killua from Kukuroo Mountain. Even blushing, Gon says that he was reminded of Gotoh’s words and was worried that both of them were being deceived.

Gotoh’s words were, exactly:

Be careful. And protect Killua.

This also adds to the character analysis - one that is very on point - that Gon being outgoing doesn’t mean he puts depth to analyzing his feelings. He speaks his mind, the problem is not to talk per se - but to put effort into understand his intentions behind those actions. He could say he was worried about them, but he doesn’t, because he speaks first and doesn’t think through what he feels. He’s yes outgoing, but impulsive, and very immersive into acting first, think later - or even thinking only when questioned, because it didn’t even crossed his mind. That’s why we see him talking but yet... it’s hard to know what is happening inside him aside from Killua’s common inner monologues. But maybe protecting Killua it’s so natural that he doesn’t even bother to explain. To think that he keeps Gotoh’s words and even mentions it after all this time, such a nice and gentle touch of how much he respects his bond with Killua. 

Now, let’s get back to the CAA events. Specifically chapter 222.

A very shocked and distressed Gon was learning through Kite's attacks, but not to defend himself or parry. His painful attempts were all leading to dodge the punches and faints, so he could give puppet Kite a hug, and an apology.

Yes, he said terrible things to Killua - and of course wanting to protect him wasn’t the only reason. But he knew from the moment they first met Pitou, that they were dangerous. He wanted to deal with that alone, because it was “his mess”, so he shouldn’t endanger his most beloved one. 

We know that this is a turning point for Gon’s development in this arc, because it is the moment where his resolve becomes tainted with all the guilt he is facing. It’s when he starts to lose himself, and Killua knows that, probably, nothing he says or do will convince Gon otherwise.

But what contrasts with the well-known harsh words towards his best friend, is that he never meant to exclude Killua from the whole situation. That's why he says "OUR fault".

Then, right after, he addresses Killua directly. Visibly starting to lose himself, he takes the responsibility to prove he's strong to fix it, but I think that due to his communication pattern, he might also mean that he’s want to fix it without endangering who he wanted to fight by his side under normal circumstances.

It’s an act that can hold both guilt and protection. He addresses only that one person in the room because he needs Killua to know that this isn't a normal situation, and that's why he can't bring him to this fight. It isn’t normal because someone dear to him got hurt really bad. It isn’t normal because his best friend, someone who would not think before putting his life at risk for Gon, shouldn’t endanger himself to the point he could face the same destiny, specially because this is Gon’s way to show he cares. Again, Gon just speaks his mind without much thought, with his intentions between the lines. His effort to put his feelings into words mixed with the suffering he is handling are, on his mind, overwhelming enough - but still he cared to speak directly to Killua. Could this be, again, another demonstration of not-so-well-thought feelings spoken with the first words that come to his mouth?

Wouldn’t make sense, after all of those demonstrations of Gon’s behavior when someone is endangered and he desperately wants to take control of the situation because he thinks this is the best way to protect them and to be useful, and with that, deserving of their company? 

As Gon's communication is both simple (in words) and complex (behind the words), since he doesn't think through his feelings and he’s a stubborn child, it makes hard for others to catch his intentions, specially if they're already struggling to understand that they are not a burden. Because Killua’s mindset on making friends also includes the need to feel useful, just like Gon’s, but expressed through different means - and by being casted away fro Gon’s decision and later saving the boy in order to push him forward once again to his goal (alone this time), Killua thinks Gon has cut ties with him. as he couldn’t play a helpful role within Gon’s life anymore. So, this is how he reaches the rejective conclusion.

But the connection that I'm trying to make is that even thought Gon’s words were awful as the boy himself recognized, I truly believe Gon still wouldn't want Killua to fight even if he knew how his friend felt.  But not because he rejected Killua or meant to cut ties with his “no longer useful” best friend.

Because Gon has stated already: Killua doesn’t have to earn his friendship.

Those harsh words during the Palace Invasion were an attempt to regain control of the situation, prove his worth in the middle of a mental chaos that he wasn’t ready to face. But still, what if he kept reminding himself that he must protect his best friend in the entire world and just couldn’t find a better way to say it? Because he knows Killua is capable of self-sacrificing, Gon tried to stop him before, and Pitou is terribly strong. If it’s hard for him to translate his feelings when he is calm and collected, the extreme condition he found himself dragged in would’ve just made this communication face more obstacles. Fighting his own pain - another thing he couldn’t translate for the sake of his own mental health - led to the words to come out like they were: heartbreaking.

So, I’m not saying that it was solely to protect Killua, but I think that makes sense for Gon’s character. And again, I don’t think he would agree that Killua would fight what he thinks it’s his battle alone. But, with his mind cleared and the right questions, he would've given Killua an answer. He would say that this is not about taking Killua out of the special place Gon has put him, but about Gon taking the the responsibility based on what he thinks it’s best for everyone. His feelings, either protective or hurtful, are only explained when he’s asked, because action speaks volume for him and he needs this trigger question to make him translate his intentions.

Just like in the Hunter Exam, he only tells Kurapika about how he felt with Hisoka because he questioned. 

And in the Yorknew Arc, Gon didn’t let Killua hurt himself and was really trying to understand how the other boy felt. Gon doesn't communicate well but not because he rejects his feelings, and still, he cares about others’ feelings too. He was just literally out of his mind. So yeah, I think he cared for Killua safety, and if after all this time he made a connection between his stubborn acts and Gotoh’s words, it’s because - on his mind - these words and thoughts never leave his head. He’s constantly worrying about Killua, in his own way. But he couldn't explain something that he didn't put a second thought even for himself to understand. And it's not the first time, he acts very similar in these mentioned situations.

What all these stubborn oriented situations that I’ve mentioned, except for the one regarding Hisoka, have in common? He wanted to protect Killua.

He was undeniably wrong in saying those words to Killua, but it’s something acknowledged by himself already. He IS, by his nature, a protective kid, and under normal circumstances, Killua would be allowed to fight by his side because it has to be him. If it’s not going to be him, it won’t be anyone else. He can’t risk to lose him for something that he feels overly responsible. His words were rooted in pain, but the moment he addresses Killua that he would fight alone - a moment recollected by the latter in the hospital scene - shows respect for the one he has just lost, Kite, and the one he doesn’t want to lose. 

Killua is the one who never left him, never discredited him and is irreplaceable. Killua is the first thing that comes up to his mind when thinking about meeting Ging. Who would have thought that Gon’s mind would reach so far into memories and hold so deeply someone’s words like Gotoh’s?

He was selfish. But it’s a childish selfishness, built on such empty expectations about himself that he ends up forcing on others what he believes that is the right thing to do, in order to keep others safe, no matter how bad he hurts his body... because when it comes to protect those he care, he loses respect on his self-care due to this low self-esteem of his. So, he didn’t ask Killua to “please, let me fight alone”, because he’s decided to not drag Killua into a fight he knows he might lose, and then Killua couldn’t be protected.

And makes sense, again, that Killua couldn’t read between these lines, because he also blames himself for everything that happened, and thinks his feelings and desires would only keep in Gon’s way - that’s why those words hit him so deeply, but the thing that hurts him the most was the sole fact that Gon fought alone. He can’t help but compare to the dodgeball, and like Gon, Killua has his own unhealthy patterns: since he only knows love through pain, when he’s prevented from getting hurt against his will, he fails to understand it as an act of love.

The bond they’ve established while playing Greed Island was expressed through dozens of symbolisms already well discussed among the fandom (Killua’s badge, the rainbow diamond, the famous line during the dodgeball game). And I don’t doubt that their encounter with Pitou held traces of the same protective pattern, but messed up by Gon’s internal struggle.

For the times Gon showed concern before, we can mention more expressive moments like the whole Zoldyck arc, when they were escaping from the Troupe, when Tzeseguerra said he’d endangered Killua or even when Killua got caught by some spell, etc, or we can even analyze his body language. Like here:

Before the date, Gon is indirectly protecting Killua in here, through his body language (Killua entered the room first, but Gon puts himself between them):

And after the date, while being punished for hurting her feelings, Gon screams at Palm when she tried to stab Killua, probably implying that he was observing and only interveins when she tries to hurt anyone other than himself - because he is, again, being stubborn and taking all the blame and control in order to redeem his actions and prove his capacity to fix things. I think it’s possible that Gon talked to her about Killua off curtains, or at least made an agreement about not involving Killua in her madness, but it it’s open to interpretation.

So, yeah, I can’t help but link everything to his pattern. He responds to the fear of losing those he loves with the same impactful devotion that is given to him, but it is so impactful that fails vocabulary and second thoughts. He knows Killua will be the first to risk his life if something happens or to prevent Gon from getting hurt during his tasks. Killua tends to sacrifice a lot and never complains while doing it, so I think it’s pretty much plausible that even when he can’t express himself at all, he’s worrying about Killua in the corner of his mind. Sometimes, just before our eyes.

Anyways, I love re-reading Greed Island arc and linking to their development through CAA because pretty much anything they do, they’re doing together, and they were bonding so beautifully. Their relationship was never so well-detailed before, but mostly for us, when they didn’t get much time to put in the balance how rushed their training was, and how fast they got attached to the point they can’t even stop thinking about each other while distant.

They look at each other like this:

They inspire this kind of reaction from others:

And there’s this one... nothing big, I just love it hahahaha

They’re in love each others’ top priority. It’s not impossible that Gon took Killua’s safety into matter, but his mind and words failed him, as he himself acknowledges that the only explanation to say those things to Killua is that “he doesn’t know what he was thinking”. Because, under normal circumstances, just like about letting Killua fight by his side, he would NEVER hurt Killua’s feelings. He IS protective. He didn’t have to rescue Killua from his own home - since Killua left for himself - but he still does it, instead of sticking to his main journey. And did not budge until Killua was safe by his side.

It’s a badly worded protection, because he doesn’t even know self-protection and puts action before everything. To figure a better way out of this pattern, he will now have plenty of time to find new ways to protect Killua and himself from the flaws of their dynamic. Their emotional attachment didn’t grow as fast as their fighting skills, but it doesn’t mean Gon is a monster, was malicious towards Killua or wanted to break his heart. I don’t even think he would reject Killua, but would explain the reason behind his decision in a reassuring way.

And finally, it’s so symbolic how Gotoh died and got replaced by a Kiriko - the same creature that translates Gon’s perceptiveness and how the boys are close. This way, they are still linked by Gotoh’s words through someone that mimics Gotoh’s appearance and also understands their relationship like the long gone butler. His words will never die.

And not to mention... how shoujo and romantic it is that Gon remembers the promise he made to Gotoh before he takes Killua with him? It is almost like a marriage proposal. That he didn’t forget, not even after all this time. 

Do I think he would’ve change his mind on letting Killua fight? Not at all, and Killua couldn’t change his mind even if he begged, at least not without some patient mental work. This is Gon’s mindset on protecting someone. But like that time in Greed Island, under normal circumstances, Gon would’ve ease Killua’s worries directly or indirectly after some talking. And of course, it is not his job to guess Killua’s feelings, communication must be a two-way path. Killua waited for too long, and at that point, Gon was too lost in his grief and wasn’t able to measure his words. But I truly believe that, deep inside his mind, those words and that promise were still there, waiting to resonate if necessary.

And as @gallyl​ added so perfectly: Killua is alive and well, grieving on the hospital’s bench, trying to get a grip of everything he just experienced. Decided to give Gon a second chance, he’s now able to understand this message of love Gon has left for him: there’s so much he can do in life, that Gon simply doesn’t want him to die because Killua’s whole life was surrounded by death - and Killua’s greatest wish was to live like a normal kid. And this speaks louder to Gon than having Killua to himself in death. A love that is not selfish, and does not envy. Killua’s life is validated, and in return, he saves Gon and his sister, the ones he loves the most, and validate back their right to exist, to grow, to try again. Unconditional love. At first, he’s hurt and demands an apology. But it’s Alluka who reminds him of how love must be free to give and to receive - he should let his heart open for whenever Gon is ready to reach him again.

But now, the apology will matter. 

And this is absurdly romantic. Not every sacrifice ends up in dying together to prove a relationship. They’ve made promises similar to marital vows, and not everything happened like they wanted, but they made clear to us that they’re not done with each other - as they refuse to say goodbye, and keep grammatical constructions like “for a while”, indicating a break, an interlude. 

Their song is still playing, and their promises still exist as their split was never mentioned as something definitive, because preventing the other one to get physically hurt on your behalf and taking some time to think before you take the risk to accidentally emotionally hurt them too are both ways to show protection. Ways that they’re learning now, two boys who think they should get hurt to love and be loved. 

[blissfulparker]

Seasick pt. 10 final→college!peter parker

Pairings→college!peter x reader fake dating!au

Summary→ You need a fake boyfriend, peter has no plans for the summer, you take him on a cruise to meet your nasty family you kept a secret all these years. Faking your love as far as it will go before it snaps and it shows it’s true colors to one another under the burning hot sun and above the salty sea water

A/n→yeah so y’all can shut talk me for this taking literally FOREVER but I kept wanting to redo it and I finally found the perfect final for it(at least for me) I’m going to make the epilogue and if anyone wants blurbs based off it I can write it. But I present to you, the seasick final

Peter Parker slept like an Angel and you had never truly noticed until now. He had soft snores and little freckles painted on his face and he was yours, now he was officially yours and all it took was you begging him to come on a stupid cruise with your family you hate.

Although you wouldn’t mind if year after year you were able to bring peter along with you. He helped with the pain and god did you need all the help you could get.

“What are you doing?” He mumbles as he starts to wake up, not opening his eyes but his senses catch you staring.

“Nothing.” You smile as you only stare harder to count each freckle—even the new ones he got from this trip.

“No you’re doing something.” He opens his eyes just a bit to see you with the faintest smile on your face. You, the one who woke up every day of this trip dreading what another day would be like, smiled at him. A genuine smile as you woke up.

“Seriously, nothing!” You try to hide the smile that grows big on your face and he only grabs you by the waist, pulling you in close so he can tickle at your sides just to see you smile more.

He lets your laughs die down, seeing the real you in the morning was something so fresh to him, he loved it. You were his girlfriend. He couldn’t wait to go home and start saying that to people. After all these years all it took was a stupid cruise.

“It’s our last day.” Peter says and suddenly your smile dropped. Not because you were sad, because it was your last day and that meant having to spend it with your family.

“Right.” You sigh falling back on the pillow.

Peter looked at you like you were art, or maybe he looked at you the way he looked at the beach the other day, maybe he looked at you the way he saw you in the art gallery the second day or maybe he looked at you the way he looked at you the first day he got on this damn ship and you wore the most beautiful dress and worried about how tall you were. No matter how he looked at you it was just you, you who matter the most to him in this moment and truly every moment before.

“For as much as you hate this family, I actually kinda liked this trip.” That was particularly true, he hated being uncomfortable at dinner and your mom dropping off condoms but he was on a cruise for fucks sake and it was free.

“Peter, when was the last time you even had a vacation?” You looked over at him. Realizing your words were much harsher, you took a step back. “Sorry, I’m still...I’m still trying to get use to everything.” You admitted and he nodded.

“It’s okay,” he only planted a kiss on your cheek before sitting up. “I know.”

He sits up at the edge of the bed. Stretching a bit giving you a full view of his bare back, so toned and smooth, you really wanted to know when he got so ripped but that was a question for later. All you could do now was feel your hand move to run over the smooth of his back. You sit up as well, letting yourself sit before his back and press sweet kisses gently at his shoulders.

“Y-Your mom.” Was what he said as you kissed him. “She wants to have lunch.” He already saw the messages, last night when you were fast asleep. Face puffy from crying, he held onto you but his phone lit up with one message from your mom. The number she got from him at the beginning of this trip where you swore it would make everything more realistic to pretend you cared.

“Just tell her we’re busy.” You continue kissing at his sunburnt shoulders and in a way it hurt but felt so good to him.

He couldn’t change anything, what you had grown up with was irreversible. But peter had seen the real you, known the real you to be beyond what your family was. He knew you would be opposed to what he was going to tell you but he only wanted to help you.

“With just me.” He turned his head and you stopped your movements.

“Just you?” You furrow your brows and he nodded.

“Yeah, just me.” He sighed and you sat back a bit on the bed.

“Just tell her we already have—“ you started but peter shook his head.

“I think I should go. I-I know I can’t change anything but at least I can—“ he starts and you feel your heart race and your blood burn.

“You're right Peter, you can’t change anything. She’s an evil woman and I thought you would already have figured that out by now. Your smart, you should be smart enough to know that she doesn’t want to fix anything. When we go back in New York everything will be the same.” You fell back against the headboard and peter turned fully to you.

“But everything won’t be the same, at least we won’t be the same!” He told you and you looked at him quickly with a sigh.

“Peter I didn’t mean that way and you know it.” You feel your hands run over your face before you grab your water.

“I’m having lunch with your mother.” He said. He marked his words in the moment and you knew Peter could be stubborn and this was one of those moments.

“Peter…” you want to fight but your hand goes over the bracelet you both got the other day from the locals down by the beach. You remember as a kid, you wished one day it would be you getting those bracelets even if it was just a few pieces of string tied together. Those kids were always harmless and knew love when they saw it, maybe you and peter were still faking it in the moment but they saw more than the two of you ever did. “Just hold me.” You almost whisper and he looks at you with pain in his eyes.

“Hold me like you did in the ocean the other day.” You look up with water in your eyes and he does. His arms come around your back and he holds you as if you two were still in the ocean as if nothing else mattered in the world to you two.

-

You dressed Peter for lunch. You had torn apart his suitcase telling him that if he was going out there alone he needed to be prepared. For it was your mother, One may argue Thor’s evil brother was nicer than her.

So Peter tugged a bit at the buttons and waited near the entrance for your mother to arrive. He had fought aliens, witches, and even drones over one summer but feared a tiny old women who was the mother of his girlfriend.

When she arrived she greeted him with a hug, a tight one that made him gasp for air when she pulled away and she left her glossy lip print on his cheek.

Peter wished you were here, honestly he did. Your mother was beautiful on the outside but he did see the inside. So when she ordered him a wine he swallowed hard and gave a tight lipped smile thinking of what you would do.

“Thank you for inviting me on this trip.” He started it off and your mother only drank from the glass of her wine.

“We can all thank (y/n) for inviting you.” She smiled but she knew something more. “When you two first arrived I always found it interesting how she told me a different story on the phone for how you fell in love but Europe huh? She loved that trip, until of course everything turned bad.” Your mother explained and Peter felt his heart flip.

“She says senior year chem class and I say Europe, she counts from when we first started talking I count our first date.” Peter chuckles.

“Peter, I’m a lawyer, I know when even the best liars are lying to me and you and my daughter are both extremely intelligent. So let’s just tell the truth, why did she invite you? Why did she tell me she had a boyfriend on the phone? I see you two do have something but it’s almost like you don’t want it, neither of you.” She for once had a soft voice. Peter for once drank alcohol on this trip to sooth his nerves but sadly the spider venom in his blood prevented him from ever being calm.

“I-we-“ he couldn’t think of anything else, he could only think of you sitting back at the hotel laying in the bath enjoying the last moments on this trip with someone you actually loved. “She loves you a lot.” He said flatly.

“Look,” he started. “Everything she has ever done in her entire life was to impress you. Every award, every medal, every achievement she’s made was in hopes to impress you weather it was through her intelligence or through how athletic she was and now it was through love. It was like i was her last hope, but you missed out so much on her life. I say that in the best way. MJ, Betty, Ned and I all showed her what it’s like to be loved and maybe that’s why she ran to us more but she also knew it was never enough for you. I had never seen her so scared, so alone when she brought me on this trip. And I don’t know if it’s just me but she’s already the perfect person in every single way. She doesn’t know what more you want, I don’t know what more you want.” Peter finished his rant, his heart pounding and his cheeks a bit red.

“For me? Everything she had ever done was for me?” Your mother asked as if she learnt this for the first time.

“Yes, and every time you never paid attention and that broke her a bit more.” The more peter talked the more Peter hurt.

“Peter, can I tell you something?” She folded her hands and leant in. “You’re a smart, charming man. My daughter is a smart and charming lady. I don’t know if this entire time you two were really faking it, I could tell at first, trust me everyone could, but I want you to know she never smiled this much on this trip ever. And I don’t know what I’m doing so wrong when I try—“ peter felt his blood boil a bit at the last sentence.

“Be her mother, not her best friend. She wants a mother. She has MJ as a best friend who sometimes acts like more of a mother to her than you and (y/n) is three months older than MJ.” Peter didn’t break the stare as your mom looked at him in shock.

“All I want, because she will hate me more if I argue, is that you make her happy.” She sighed. Peter nodded.

The two of them are in silence, the last day on the cruise and peter was eating in silence with your mother after practically telling her how shitty she was.

After the check and your mothers hug goodbye, peter was back walking up to your room. Hoping he wouldn’t see anything more as he just wanted to relax. Maybe today he’d finally get that mug for May that he lied about but god felt so guilty. He lied about bigger things but the ones he loved...he had no idea how you did it. But you never lied to Peter, keeping him from the truth and lying were different.

“And he’s a really good kisser…” he stopped before he opened the door. He could hear you giggling on the phone with who he assumed MJ and Betty but more likely Betty.

“I just...I don’t know if I deserve him, I mean...he’s so kind and sweet and he’s peter.” There was a pause as Peter listened. “No flaws, he’s a shitty painter but I think it’s cute.” You giggled before taking a deep breath. He couldn’t hear the words on the other side before he heard you speak your goodbyes and ‘I love yous’ to them.

He waits until you seem to be settled down, he opens the door and reveals you on the floor painting your toes.

“Hey,” you look up at him with a smile. “How was lunch with my mom?” You asked and he only shrugged. Something washed over him and compelled him to sit next to you and kiss your cheek.

“Was fine, I drank a lot of wine but it was fine.” He shrugged and you looked up with a smirk.

“So I’m getting drunk Peter right now?” You teased and he shook his head.

“No, no.” He watched as you painted with the color blue. “She said she’s proud of you.” He admits. Never directly did she say the words but he knew deep down she wanted to but didn’t know how.

You look at him with a stare, knowing he was lying but he was trying for you.

With the silence in the room, peter gets up from his spot and walks over to pack some of the last of his things. By tomorrow morning you would say your goodbyes to your family and head back to New York. Back to your friends and family. You would stay with MJ for the summer but hopefully, with the new relationship, peter could convince you to stay with him and May.

“Hey Peter,” you look over your shoulder. “Thank you.” You tell him. Not sure if you ever told him thank you before this.

“For what?” He folds some of his clothes and puts them back into the suitcase.

“For everything.” You smile before going back to painting your toes.

Peter has a small smile. He nods as he throws the shirt into the suitcase.

“(Y/n)?” He calls to you this time. “Thank you for choosing me. To bring on this trip I mean.” He says awkwardly and you smiled.

“This was just year one Parker, get ready for the next couple ones!” You pretend to be enthusiastic but he only laughs. “Sorry we never got to do anything you wanted to do.” You apologized as you stood up. Looking down at the red painted toes and being careful to let them dry.

“No we did.” He smiled and you furrow your brows.

“Like what?”

“I was with you, that was something I wanted to do.” He was a dork in the best ways. He was your dork in the best of ways. You don’t think you had given this many genuine smiles while on this cruise ever.

“Hey,” you poked his shoulder. He hissed a bit as his sunburn still was there. “We can technically go to the couples pool, they’ll give us free chocolate strawberries. You wanna go?” You offer with a smirk. With all the things you’ve done pretending to be a couple this would be the first real couple thing you did.

“Hell yeah!” He says with a laugh and you do too.

So you get on your bathing suits one last time. One last time on this damned cruise would you put on your bathing suit and actually smile. Not drinking the last of your night away alone in your room.

Peter's arm snaked around your waist as you two walked down the hallway. Sharing laughs and you leaning against his shoulder as you two made your way to the pool where you would sit in a hot tube while eating cheap chocolate strawberries and drinking shitty wine.

While the bubbles roam around you in the hot tub and you and peter finally settle down with your laughs he only stares into your eyes.

“Hey.” Was all he said and you felt yourself feeling shy in front of him.

“Hi.” You said back and his lips connected with yours.

For a week straight of lying, tears and alcohol, and a shit ton of secrets getting exposed to each other. You and Peter made a pretty good couple. A couple that didn’t need to be faked anymore even if it made everyone sick, you found your love in the sea. You found him and he was perfect.

Seasick Taglist: @jackiehollanderr @itscaminow @just-a-little bit-of-everything @illicitparker @hotel-colson @peterparker2003 @silver-winter-wolf @mskathrinak @teen—marvel @teenwishes08 @rish0217 @j2supernatural@hollandprkr @applenter @p-nutbutters @popluckbih @homshufflepuff @hurricane-abigail @thechersupramacy @danicarosaline e @spideyyeet @lulueliot24

Permanent taglist: Permanent Taglist: @hoodiesparker @dahliaspidey y @parkersvibes @itssss-a-bean @ppkrtingle @myfinalwords @bocaul @tinyplanet-explorers @sincerlyfan @softbaby-tom @awesomeblackcottontail @rosebeegraham @stormyholland @unicorn-princess-1999 @spideyyypeter @marshyrebelcloud @oh-epiphany @yeahimcrying @highlydisfunctional1 @disgustangg @pterstingle @quacksonhq @starlightparker @reblogsfics @tomsrebeleyebrow @dreamyyholland @imaginashawnn s @alilpunkrock @peterspideysenses @lovely-valllll @lowkey-holland @hannaholland1811 @kthemarsian @maryjane23 @jillianaholland @dummiesshort t @paracutepants @heartofholland @quacksonhehe @tomhollandssecurityguard @th0ttie4tommy @ladykxxx08 @bellelittleoff @peterbenjiparker @cherthegoddess s @namoren o @sunsetholland d @lillatina004 @peterparkersbabygurl @augustdowney @a-daydreamers-day @spideyspeaches @sinisterspidey y @mathletemadison

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Am I the only one who doesn’t get why some (tw) are shitting on Haru and Rin separately just for the fact that they reciprocate each others feelings? Because it’s not the feelings they wanted them to reciprocate? Just curious because I'm new and recently entered the fandom. And since when miscommunication in between means that they don't deserve to be happy at the end? Because you're an idiot when it comes to love, doesn't mean you're a bad person. I came from chinese bl and it's weird to me.

Hehe welcome to the madness, perfect time to join! Yeah, tbh that's the thing in the fandom that always bugged me the most. The fact that some act like if you don't reciprocate someone's feelings, it makes you a bad person. I always found it incredibly cringy when ppl in real life for example make ppl feel guilty for not feeling the same way and make you feel like shit bc of it. I don't get why you have to apologize for that or feel bad, if you never ever gave him any hope or anything in the first place.

Nowdays it's thankfully a rare sight already in this fandom, bc most already grown and see perfectly what's truly healthy and unhealthy, it's just tbh only the same 3 accounts ppl keep sending me that are still on that, who also think that Haru is literally possessed in the last movie so I don't see the point of like arguing with ppl like this. It's just they're always getting extremely angry when Haru wants Rin as if it's his fault that he feels this way and always go about it like he is inconsiderate of Makoto's feelings. Implying that they're mad that he doesn't feel that way about Makoto, while Makoto does. I'm same as @tododeku-or-bust for example said here (idk what fandom brought this on, but just in general) also do not get what's appealing about this kind of relationships in the first place.

If they shipped it in terms of like it's mutual I'd get it, but they go on about how Rin or Haru are bad friends bc they're not in love with their best friends... like ?????? I didn't know you owe it to your friends to have romantic feelings for them.

In real life if you found out that your bestie feels that way for you while you don't reciprocate, it's a burden, that'll make you feel uncomfortable and at times guilty when you shouldn't technically feel that way. So putting on someone a burden of "I was pining for you all along", when you know they don't feel the same is giving me this feeling of cringe. So I personally do not get what's enjoyable at seeing it like that in Free. But to each their own kink lmao.

It's like... is Haru at fault for the fact that he was Ikuya's first love too? I do not get it really. Like he doesn't have to take responsibility for everyone who falls for him and he doesn't owe anyone to reciprocate their feelings. Even to Rin. Like if he didn't feel the same way for Rin, it wouldn't be his fault either. But since he does feel the same way for him, it's like... good, great, happy for them.

Like once again if someone believes that Makoto and Sousuke are unrequitedly in love with Rin and Haru, that's not rinharu fault. Haru literally never ever lead Makoto on EVER. He never ever did anything that would make Makoto believe that they're more than friends. He was always honest about everything. Like when Makoto thought that he went out to see him, but Haru just wanted to see the sunrise, he told him just that. He never encoraged anything, he refused to live with him and never wanted. I do not get why it's supposed to be his fault that he doesn't like his friend in that way. If Makoto has some unrequited feelings for him and decided to hang up on this, it's his own life choice in my opinion.

It's like saying that Onodera and Takano for example don't deserve to be together just because they unintentionally hurt each other and got separated for 10 years bc of misunderstanding. This argument is like typical Yokozawa life position aka "but I was there when he left you heartbroken for several years, that means you MUST pick me". As I've said before, that's just not how it fucking works. And just bc they couldn't explain things to each other normally, doesn't mean that they don't deserve be happy now. Being idiots is not a crime.

Or if you came from chinese bl, lets go "Guardian" for example. Zhu Hong also was on about how "why you love Shen Wei, not me, I always did everything for you and I was always there, I even wore heels bc you once said you liked those etc". Like he never asked her to do this, he never gave her any hope, he was beyond rude and open about the fact that he's not interested, he never did anything to make her think she had a chance since the beginning. Just bc she decided to dedicate her life to false hope that maybe one day something might change is not his fault. It was her choice. Why Yunlan should feel like shit bc of that I do not get personally.

I'm just buffled bc like Haru for example is the most caring about other ppl's pain person, but they call him selfish and rude bc of the way he is with Makoto at times, not even realising that it IS in fact what means being kind sometimes.. to not give someone a chance when you know you don't feel it. I was always saying this like since forever, being kind doesn't mean for example giving everyone second chances, loving everyone, wanting to be friends with anyone etc. In some situations it's not being kind, it's being stupid or even not being a good person. Once again... offering someone friendship after he openly dissed your friend and you see that he's not in any position to talk back is not kind. Or if someone cheats on you constantly, but you always forgive them it's also not you being kind. It's you being stupid. Sometimes you have to be harsh. It's for the greater good.

And like I saw several times stuff like someone under scenes where Rin has his eyes for Haru only, commenting like "oh great, look at Rin being inconsiderate of Sousuke's feelings again. Can't believe you guys find this romantic." I mean, if in their opinion Sousuke is in pain from being Rin's friend, he can end it, it's his choice. It's not Rin's fault that he thinks of him as just his friend. So thinking that Rin is an asshole bc each time he simply hangs out with Sousuke he's a selfish bitch is fucking insane. I'd feel extremely bad if my best friend was seeing it this way for example. It's like hella ugly.

This annoys me also bc of the fact that Rin, the person who at the age of 12 single-handedly saved his family from falling apart after his father's death, who's an amazing friend to Sousuke and did everything to make his happy after he found out about his trauma and always checks on him first and cries about his shoulder, who in the late evenings taught Rei to swim, when everyone else gave up already xD, who was looking after Nitori during his training, who pretends to walk the same road, just because he's scared to let Gou return alone in the evenings, the most amazing son and brother, is suddenly an asshole just because Haru is in love with him, but not with Makoto. I mean, thats just... huh? Like I dont mind you ship what you want to ship, it's like to each their own crayons for real. But like dissing them and call them selfish just bc they only see their friends as friends and don't want anything more is weird to me.

As for the fact that bc of the misunderstanding they don't deserve to be happy, that's just idiotic. I mean, lets punish Wei Wuxian and Lan Zhan too just bc Lan Zhan couldn't voice his real feelings back then and bc WWX misunderstood him. Lets ship WWX with Wen Ning instead. Nezumi is cancelled, he doesn't deserve to be with Shion. He left him. Takano should stay with Yokozawa, Onodera is trash. Wu Xie is trash for wanting to be with Zhang Qiling too. It doesn't matter why he leaves, it only matters that he always does. I can't believe he doesn't see that Pangzi is there with him all along xD. What an ungrateful trash of a human being I can't even.

And anyways btw both Rin and Haru are not ideal human beings in any way (otherwise I wouldn't love them this much tbh xD). But their flaws are definitely not what for example mh shippers usually blame them for. You can argue about their other imperfections easily. Like being stupidly stubborn for example. I won't point fingers here, Haru lolz. Or literally anything else.

My point is you can find what to trash them for logically, if you wanna. Do it smartly tho. Otherwise you make your ship look bad.

And I once again say what wise person said about his relationships and about the fact that not being able with someone he loves hurt him and 'why is he doing this to himself' he answered: "it's not on him. my happiness and my pain is for me to handle". Everyone decides for themselves. This is why for example Haru was so broken about voicing this to Rin and didn't have any intentions to tell him that in the first place. Bc it's not right, if you're not sure that it's requited. Technically he has no right to blame Rin for making him fall in love with him and then leaving in the first place. It's not Rin's fault really, that he made him feel what he feels for him, it's ultimately Haru's problem. That's why he feels has no right to blame him in the first place. I mean, he doesn't know that Rin feels the same, that means saying to him "you break my heart each time you leave" and making him feel bad about it is technically wrong. That's why Haru to himself said "no, please, don't say such things to him". Everyone for himself decides who deserves your 5, 7, 800 or 10000 years of your pain. It's your decision. It's your life. If Haru feels like Rin is worth it, then you have no say in that matter really. The only reason we call Rin an idiot or Haru an idiot is because we know they feel the same, so we can. But blame someone else for not feeling what you're feeling is not right.

So like even if you feel like Makoto and Sousuke have feelings for their friends, blaming Haru and Rin for having feelings for each other and not for them is beyond weird. And there's nothing wrong with putting someone you love first, every bro/sis gets it. You can say bros before hoes all you want, but like Lan Zhan might just drop his bro for his hoe, if he was given a choice. Would it make him a bad person? The fact that Wu Xie chose to save Xiaoge before Pangzi makes his a bad person? My point is it's not all that easy.

I just feel like many ppl in this fandom are very weird about many things. Either because they do not get what it's like to go through some things or maybe they just do not get that no matter how cheesy this sounds love is not that simple. I mean, for example not all selfish is bad, sometimes like in Haru's case for example not being selfish is also bad. Bc if he finally asks for what he wants, he will make both himself AND Rin happy.

To be angry at Rin bc of the aftermath of his father's death and s1 I never had it in me, after knowing everything and how adults handled it. If some of Sousuke's fans bc of Yakusoku and the fact that Rin found his salvation in Haru bc he helped him to move forward after getting his family out of this hell alone and that Haru was the safe haven that made him happy in this moment of his life, want to trash Rin for the fact that he "neglected" Sousuke, its like your opinion. I personally do not get it. Rin doesn't owe Sousuke anything. It's not his fault again that Haru's existence helped him to feel better.

Just like not everyone will get why Haru in 1x12 was so happy about the fact that he could help Rin. To be that special somebody for someone who can "save" you in moments of your life like this, especially if you love them is an incredible feeling. And no, your bestie isn't always the person for this job, no. I don't see why people do not get that I guess, that's all. But we all have our own opinion on everything, so...

We same as you do not get it since forever, but its like it is what it is in this fandom. I personally just have another life position on stuff, so I'm very far from that point of view they have.

[animeyanderelover]

I just wanna say I love your blog but I just wanna know would you ever be interested in writing yandere meruem

I’m not finished with the Arc yet, but I feel now confident enough to write about them. Hope I did you justice with that. For the royal guards I went with the scenario where they somehow managed to survive because I don’t think they would get obsessed with someone else as long as the king is still alive. Their devotion for him would keep them from falling for anyone else. That’s at least what I believe.

Tw: Yandere themes, unhealthy mindset, unhealthy relationship, possessiveness, obsessiveness, delusions, paranoia, sadism, controlling Yandere, strict Yandere, mentions of kidnapping, death, stalking

Chimera Ant Arc Hc’s

Kite

🤡Kite is shown as a very cold and blunt person, but I can actually see him as someone who’s really shy around his darling since he never felt such emotions before. He knows that he isn’t supposed to feel this way, making him the aware type. He also is absolutely whipped for his darling, making him a lovestruck one as well.

🤡I can also imagine him as an overprotective one. He didn’t grow up under the most ideal circumstances and normally is ready to let someone die, but that doesn’t count for his darling. Nothing should ever harm them!

🤡He’s very calm when it comes to his darling interacting with other people and let’s them most of the time talk to whoever they want to. But if someone gets to friendly with the s/o or makes them uncomfortable he’ll step in and tell the person bluntly to go away. He looks very intimidating whilst saying that so most people do what he says.

🤡He tries to be reasonable with the people, knowing that it would get him in trouble if he just kills everyone. He only kills someone when they harmed the s/o, mentally or physically. That’s one of the few times were he gets really enraged and also really disappointed with himself for not being able to protect them.

🤡I believe he would only kidnap them if they rejected him or they got hurt whilst he wasn’t with them. Then he would become incredibly paranoid and kidnap them. He feels bad for doing this, but he can’t do anything against it. But with enough time and convincing from your side he might be willing to let you out again.

🤡From this list a more harmless one who just wants to keep you safe even though his ways of doing so are sometimes a bit extreme. But he’s a very understanding Yandere who tries to suppress his Yandere side for as long and much as possible. He doesn’t want to scare you.

Neferpitou

🐈Neferpitou is a possessive one and obsessive one. They have some cat gene in them and so they are naturally fascinated with their darling, having a cat-like curiosity and wanting to know more about them. One of the most possessive out there especially after losing their king. No way they’ll let something like this happen again!!

🐈I can also imagine them as a bit of a cruel kind since they treat the s/o like a pet, punishing them when they don’t behave, cuddling and treating them when they please them and keeping them sometimes literally on a leash. They think they just protect the s/o from any wild humans, seeing it as taking a weak animal in and taking care of it what makes them the slightest bit delusional. But also an overprotective one. As mentioned Neferpitou lost their king what will increase their overprotectiveness a hundred times.

🐈It isn’t like they let their darling anywhere outside so no need to feel jealous. But if someone will somehow come anywhere near the darling for whatever reason this person will see a growling cat with a more than just sinister and enraged aura towering over them, ready to tear them to pieces. They also feel jealous when the s/o doesn’t pay attention to them, doesn’t matter what it was, Neferpitou will get rid of it.

🐈Pitou kills everyone who knows about the existence of their darling. No one should know that the s/o exists, this will reduce the danger of their darling being attacked by an enemy. Neferpitou has no mercy with anyone. Worst part about it is that they’ll come home covered in blood and want to cuddle their darling. They’ll tilt their head confused when the darling starts to cry when they see them, tainted in blood. Did they do something wrong?

🐈The moment they became interested in the darling was the moment they were doomed. Neferpitou most likely killed the whole village they lived in to ensure that no one knows about the s/o. After that they dragged them somewhere far away from any human to just keep them for themself.

🐈This really depends on your behavior. If you behave well then Neferpitou will be in a good mood and they’ll spoil you with affection and praises, after all a good pet deserves to be treated well. But when you don’t behave Pitou will get angry after a while and punish you because a bad pet needs to get punished in order to learn to behave. But Neferpitou can be really charming if they want too, cats have a very special charm on them and this counts for them as well. They just want to be a good owner with you as their cute little pet.

Shaiapouf

🎻I think that Shaiapouf will change his Yandere type over time, but let’s start with what type he is during the first period of time. Obsessive, delusional and strict. He didn’t expect to fall for a human and felt disgusted at himself at first. How dare he fall for a human?!?! Disgraceful!! He most likely saw a flash of perfection and beauty in them and he kept this image in his head, wanting to know more about them and what made them so special. He expected them to behave and would lash out at them when they went against the perfect picture he had about them in his mind, punishing them for their behavior. Also a manipulative one, guilt tripping his darling and wrapping them up with lies to ensure they behave and don’t run away.

🎻But the more time he spent with them, the more he changed. He was still obsessive, manipulative and delusional, but now he thought of everything his darling did as perfection, no need to punish them anymore. He gained also the traits lovestruck, worshipper and clingy. This guy’s absolutely enamored with the s/o, seeing them as his new queen/king he has to serve. He’ll stick to their side, no matter what and is also very touchy. Holding hands, cuddling, kissing, he does it all.

🎻Just like Pitou he keeps his darling somewhere far away from any humans since he doesn’t trust them. Every human, except his wonderful darling of course, is some savage animal in his eyes, completely uncultivated. I think he doesn’t really get jealous that much, but if his darling tells him they know someone who can do something better than him then he gets ‘jealous’. Of course he’s also more than disappointed with himself, feeling like he failed, but he’ll also make sure to do better the next time to show his worth.

🎻He is willing to kill anyone who even dares to look at the s/o. Lowlife like this doesn’t deserve to have the honor to look at them! Shaiapouf thinks of it as protecting his queen/king from any danger, his paranoia is pretty horrible.

🎻He won’t see it as kidnapping. He sees it more as saving the s/o from wasting any time with those savage things out there. He’s completely paranoid, he already lost his king to humans and will make sure to not lose the darling to humans as well. At first he won’t let them out at all, but after he changed his Yandere type he’s more willing to let them out. But only if he’s with them and only if they don’t go anywhere near humans.

🎻His delusions are the problem. At the beginning because he held this perfect picture of you and manipulated you into your perfect self and after his change because he saw himself as a servant who’s only duty it is to protect and spoil you. Arguing won’t be from any use, you’ll just exhaust yourself like this. But the worshipper Shaiapouf is definitely better than the strict Shaiapouf because now he doesn’t hurt you anymore and has infinite patience with you.

Methuthuyoupi

💥Youpi is more of a stalker, choosing to just watch the s/o from the distance. He uses this chance to also find out as much as possible about his darling what makes him an obsessive one as well. Every move they do makes him fall deeper into his obsession with them.

💥Also the overprotective one. He failed his king and he won’t fail his darling too. Surprisingly can him imagine as a lovestruck one as well. Everything his s/o does is just so adorable to him!

💥He doesn’t get jealous, he’s just overprotective over the darling. Since he stalks them all the time he knows who they’re talking and interacting with during the day. He just watches for the most part and won’t feel jealous, letting them do what they want. But that changes the moment he witnesses someone hurting his darling...

💥Yeah, if he ever witnesses someone hurting his darling, doesn’t matter if it’s mentally or physically, he’ll become a mad man and will destroy that person. Just imagine the last thing you see in your life is his crazed expression... That’s truly terrifying!

💥As long as he’s able to protect the s/o from the distance I think he’ll be fine with letting them walk freely around. Something really extreme would have to happen for him to kidnap you, the only example being the s/o nearly getting killed with him not being able to protect them. Then he’ll resort to kidnapping in order to protect them.

💥From all of the royal guards he’s the most tame one. He has no human DNA in him so he doesn’t really realize that his feelings aren’t normal, but that’s all. He just wants to protect you from every danger and is the most willing to let you walk around freely, but of course he’ll watch you from the distance, protecting you from any harm.

Meruem

👑Similar to Shaiapouf his type will change over time. At first he’s a strict, cold, cruel, obsessive and possessive one. He’s the king and expects the s/o to treat him like one. In his mind they should be thankful that he can’t kill them and that they should feel honored that he even pays them so much attention and he will punish them if they don’t act accordingly. The fact that he feels something for them was a surprise for him and so he wanted to know anything about them that was there to know, feeling like he would owe them if he would figure everything about them out. He won’t let anyone else have his darling, he’s the king and if he wants something then it’s only his!

👑But with time he became the possessive, obsessive, clingy, overprotective and soft type. He couldn’t think straight anymore when he wasn’t with his darling anymore and so he just kept them by his side all the time and became a much more nicer person to them, treating them more gentle and caring. He sees his darling as someone fragile and that’s the reason why he’s so protective over them. Nothing will ever harm them. Especially when Pouf is anywhere near he’ll be on high alert and keep a sharp eye on him.

👑He killed every human in the palace and since he keeps you always with him there’s no need to get jealous. No one would even dare to talk or look at you. But if you ,however, show some interest in one of his guards because they are the only ones you see besides him he’ll get jealous really fast and if you don’t want him to kill them it’s the best to quickly start paying attention to him.

👑I don’t need to answer this, it’s obvious. He kills anyone who dares to even mention his darling’s name. If the s/o tells him about a person who gave them troubles in the past or if he finds it out on his own then he’ll make sure to sent his royal guards out to find this person, planning on giving them an agonizing death so if you don’t want him to kill someone you cried over years ago don’t tell him anything. He’ll find out anyways.

👑At first he tried to kill the darling and failed, then he tried to avoid them and failed. That’s when he came to the conclusion that keeping them is the best thing to do. At first he didn’t let them out of their room, but after he softened up he let them walk through the palace, but only if he was with them since Shaiapouf was a problem. The only reason he didn’t kill that guy was because the s/o begged him to not do it.

👑At first he was a truly terrifying Yandere, scaring the living shit out of you and hurting you whenever you started to annoy him, but after he changed this took a 180 degree flip and suddenly he became so much better and understanding with you and also stopped hurting you.

[nobodyfamousposts]

Missing - Part 4.1

Remember the something bad coming I mentioned before?

This is that.

Fencing practice the next day had been a bit more intense. Fortunately, Kagami had been a perfect opponent to go all out with. She seemed to notice his emotional state and reacted in kind. Which he appreciated, certainly. Adrien had needed to work off the stress and anxiety from the previous incident with Lila.

It hadn’t helped that Plagg had also been unusually agitated that morning. He wouldn’t say what was going on, but he had told Adrien that they needed to see Master Fu immediately.

Plagg...had never gotten like that. Adrien didn’t understand what was going on, but whatever it was, it seemed quite serious. So he had bit back any complaint about the early morning or his schedule and attempted to reach Master Fu by phone. Unfortunately, it had gone to voicemail after several rings, and they couldn’t be sure if it was that Fu had been asleep or otherwise occupied. While Adrien had offered to find time to go to Fu’s place that day once there was a break in his schedule, Plagg insisted that whatever was going on couldn’t wait, and had decided to go to the man’s home himself.

Adrien wasn’t about to refuse Plagg if he felt it was truly necessary to go, but he felt anxious without his kwami and he still wasn’t back yet. He only hoped that there wouldn’t be another akuma attack before he returned.

He hoped everything was okay…

But at least Kagami was there. Both to challenge him physically and to support him when he explained what happened afterwards.

“So you came clean to them?“ Kagami asked, seated on a bench in the locker room as she listened to Adrien talk about what had happened.

He nodded, coming back to the present and admittedly still somewhat shaken from the entire ordeal the day before. “They deserved to know.“

“And how did they take it?“ While he certainly warranted some reprimand for the poor decision he had made on the matter, he did not deserve to be ostracized or blamed for the mess. Lila’s actions were her own, and while each of them held responsibility for their part in falling for her manipulations and the weakness that allowed her to get as far as she did, ultimately Lila was the only one to blame for her actions. With everything so recent and still so raw, the last thing they needed to have happen was for someone else to be made a scapegoat, which was still a possibility now that Lila was no longer present to take the brunt of their anger. Kagami knew the class was made of generally kind souls, but people could do regretful things in anger.

She for one was not inclined to sit by and allow him to be made into the villain for a situation he was not fully responsible for, and her tightening grip on her foil was indicative of that.

“They weren’t happy with me. They still aren’t. And I don’t blame them, really.“ He admitted. He had been kicking himself ever since his initial talk with Nino for...a lot of reasons, really. Having friends really helped with getting insight and other perspectives. And helped him notice things he hadn’t before.

“But what it comes down to is that even if we knew or suspected that Lila wasn’t being honest, none of us truly realized the depths of just how manipulative she could be.” Not until it was all laid out for them at any rate.

“Even when she snuck into your house and sent out that picture?“ Kagami asked, keeping her voice level.

He winced at the memory of the cause of her akumatization. But still...

“That was rotten of her, and I warned her afterwards.” He took a breath, realizing that his school friends hadn’t been the only ones hurt because of this. This just served as another reminder of his failure to act. “I should have done more then. I’m sorry, Kagami.”

She frowned, not necessarily pleased, but not angry either. “What was the reasoning then?” She asked. Because even if she didn’t agree with it, she knew he at least had some view that led to the choice he made.

He winced. “Honestly, that was the sort of thing I would see of a more extreme fangirl. But lying to police to try and keep someone from getting help is a whole new level of low. And one I thought she actually would not stoop to.” He frowned, looking up at Kagami. “Does that make me foolish?”

“Yes.” She replied bluntly. “You at least knew that she was capable of underhanded things. And when you know a tiger’s stripes, you should know what to expect.”

He winced and looked away, guiltily. “I know. Or—I didn’t? I just...”

She decided to take pity on him.

“That said,” She added, drawing his attention back to her. “While you may know a tiger’s stripes, that does not necessarily mean you would be able to see them in the wild.”

He smiled bitterly. “Are you trying to make me feel better?”

“Yes.” She admitted bluntly. “But that doesn’t make me wrong.”

He sighed. “I still should have done something then. I knew she was capable of bad things. There was no excuse for not warning anyone at least.” He gave a sad laugh. “I can’t even imagine how Marinette must have felt when I told her to leave things alone.”

Adrien hesitated, coming to a realization.

“I think I’ve been doing that a lot...” He admitted. “I did the same thing to her when it came to Chloe when she was being her worst.”

“I cannot speak regarding Chloe.” Kagami stated, and she couldn’t given her limited interaction with the bratty daughter of the mayor. Anything she had to say about the girl would likely be far from helpful and only get them off track. “But if I may ask...why keep putting it on Marinette then when you knew she wasn’t in the wrong?“

He shrugged, despondent and uncertain.

“I just felt safer with her.” He answered.

He was used to being friends with Chloe. Where he had been expected to give her what she wants. Whether it was completing whatever task she demanded of him or tell her what she wanted to hear.

Telling her what she wanted to hear...even if it wasn’t true.

But Marinette...

“I knew Marinette would listen to me. And she’s been good with reaching out and giving chances.”

When two parties were arguing, one of them needed to be willing to offer an olive branch if they were to reconcile and make things better. But so far, Marinette was the only one he could see in that role. The only one capable of it, to be honest.

Heaven knew how often she intervened for their classmates. She’d stood up for them, but she had also been willing to put her own feelings aside to come to a compromise. After all, she had helped Chloe more than once. Even in spite of everything Chloe had done.

“My thoughts were that if I could get Marinette to listen and agree, others would follow suit. And there could be compromise. But that was an unfair burden to keep putting on her and I ignored that there were times she shouldn’t have had to be the one to reach out first. And when Lila came along…”

He shrugged, helplessly.

“In a weird way, I thought I was supporting her by encouraging her to not fight back.”

That turned out to be a mistake. One that had hurt everyone.

It was never that she didn’t matter as much as anyone else, or that she was less important than keeping the peace. It was just that out of everyone, she was the only one who would take that first step and he knew that. He knew it wasn’t fair to keep putting such responsibility on her. But there was no one else he could count on to help or mediate things. And he just didn’t want the class to fall apart.

He kept telling himself he would make it up to her and that he would support her when she needed it, but he wasn’t the most observant of people and Marinette always seemed so strong, like she’d never needed his help.

“I wasn’t being fair to her.“

The fact that he knew Marinette could handle things did not necessarily mean that she should be expected to be the one to have to, or that he should expect her to.

Kagami hummed to her self, thinking for a moment.

“Did you consider that the longer Lila Rossi was allowed to continue on, the more hurt other people would be once her lies were revealed?“

He winced.

“Or did you think they would be revealed at all?“

He sighed and slowly nodded. “At the start, her lies seemed frivolous and only meant to make herself look better. I had figured that either she would get comfortable and stop, or that people would lose interest in listening to her.”

She nodded, considering. “It was a reasonable assumption, albeit an erroneous one.“

He looked away and nodded. “It was a mistake on my part for assuming that much. I wanted to believe that people can get better and learn from their mistakes. And I keep wanting to give second chances, even in situations where I really shouldn’t.”

He knew now that Lila went beyond that.

“Why I let it happen was a combination of a lot of reasons really. I thought she would quit on her own. I thought people would get tired of listening to her. I thought that she would come clean herself. I thought, if nothing else, people would catch on to her lies. I had so many reasons behind my decision, but at the end of the day, it was the choice I made and I will never know what would’ve happened if I had simply told someone sooner. Maybe this could’ve been avoided.”

“But there’s no point lingering on the possibilities of different decisions now that the moment for them has passed.“ She pointed out.

He gave her a slight smile at that. “Yeah. While we all feel bad about it, wallowing in that isn’t going to change anything at this point. We’ve decided to keep our focus on trying to find Marinette. And if nothing else, the reveal of Lila will ensure she can’t sabotage our efforts anymore.”

“Has there been any luck?“

“Alya said she found something. Nino and I are going to talk to her tonight to go over what she’s learned. Maybe she found something that could help?“

“How are things with them?” She asked.

“They’re doing all right. Better than they were with Lila around. The others were really forgiving.” More than he honestly felt he deserved.

Kagami seemed satisfied with that. “They are good friends. If you try to talk to them, they will listen.”

He frowned, a bit frustrated but it seemed to be mostly with himself. “I know.”

She rested a hand on his shoulder. “If there’s something wrong, or if something is troubling you, then you should be free tocommunicate it. If nothing else, it can allow you to get a second opinion on a Point of concern. And in many cases you can share information that other people may not know.“

He smiled at her gratefully.

She smiled back.

“One of the common mistakes in fencing is to hesitate and miss an opportunity to act. Once the moment is over, it’s too late. But if nothing else, you at least have the knowledge for next time.”

“I know.” He agreed. “It’s why I want to help find Marinette. I want to be able to apologize to her in person…and reassure her that things will be better now.”

He clenched his fists.

“She deserves that much, at least.”

Because she was…

To him she was…

Kagami nodded in understanding.

“Marinette is a good friend.” She stated. “If there is any way I could help, I would like to try.”

He smiled.

“Thank you, Kagami.”

______________________

Another day came with another search party. The available classmates gathered in another attempt to try to locate their missing friend. Unfortunately, life goes on even when it feels like the world should stop turning. As such, not all of them were able to make it this day.

Adrien had fencing, and with his hectic schedule and strict expectations, he couldn’t afford to keep missing appointments or he’d lose any freedom to help in the search. Max was busy with a project and was thus unable to join the group on what was steadily becoming a new after school activity of searching the city for any clues. Nathaniel needed to do chores and help his dad at home. Mylene wasn’t feeling well and nobody wanted to risk her coming down with a cold or other illness. Kim had swim practice followed by a date, and it didn’t feel fair to make him give up something positive that made him happy on a search that would likely leave them all feeling drained and depressed.

Chloe was...well, Chloe. And while she had been surprisingly willing to step up and pull a major victory against Lila when it mattered, that one good deed didn’t necessarily mean she wasn’t still her usual self absorbed self. And it certainly didn’t mean that she was willing to traverse around Paris in the cold for who knows how long on behalf of someone she has expressed nothing but dislike for. She made it clear she would be spending her afternoon in warmth and comfort.

Sabrina, naturally, went with her. Though she had wished the group luck with their search.

This left Alya and Nino, along with the members of Kitty Section for the search. To Alya’s surprise, this meant they were joined by Luka as well.

“Luka? You helping out as well?” Nino greeted.

Luka hefted his guitar on his back and nodded. “ I heard you were looking and I wanted to help out anyway I could.”

In normal circumstances, Alya would be gleeful at the show of concern by a cute guy for her friend and the sign of at least one of her ships moving forward. But as sweet as the gesture was, it was really just a reminder of the fact that her friend was still missing, so whatever joy she felt was short-lived.

She shivered.

Chloe did have a point though. As it was getting later into the year, the days were getting colder. It only made her all the more concerned that her friend could be out on the streets in winter.

It was all the more reason to find her sooner. And she straightened, bringing out her phone and planning to do just that.

Alya had spent most of the night and well into the early hours of the morning going through the data Max gave her regarding Marinette’s phone.

What she found was....strange.

The phone itself was gone. Possibly turned off. However, the signal was still there. It was blurry. Seemingly fading in and out, inconsistent, and frequently moving. But it was there.

The data showed the status of Marinette’s phone and its location over the past weeks. Which was…weird, to say the least. The signal was abnormally weak. And didn’t seem to stick to one set location which she would have expected if the phone had been lost. No, if anything, it seemed to be...almost roaming?

Which didn’t make sense. If she was kidnapped, the kidnappers surely would have tossed the phone. And if it had just been left somewhere while being left on, it still should have run out of battery by now.

Instead, it just...sort of kept cutting in and out at random. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason to it.

But what had caught Alya’s attention was just when and where this strange status first started, which she had decided would be the location of their search for the day.

The others followed her, letting her lead the way while they chatted amicably with one another. Alya only half paid attention to what they were saying, her focus primarily on her phone and the map it was showing.

“It’s getting colder out, huh?”

“Anyone want to grab a hot chocolate after this? Maybe just as a pick me up after the search?”

“That sounds nice! What do you think, Juleka?”

“I’m in.”

“Hey Luka, is it really a good idea to bring your guitar out here for this?“

“It helps me think. And besides, you never know when it might be needed.“

“I guess.”

Alya, for her part, only half minded the conversation behind her as she led the group to the last known location of Marinette’s phone before it started doing...this. This strange fuzzy image that didn’t seem to be all there.

Unfortunately, the map icon was only able to narrow down the location so much. She was able to find the general area Marinette had been in last, but the specific place...

She looked around.

Strangely, the map led her to a somewhat out of the way area. It was a normal street. Shops of various kinds were lined up along the sidewalk. There wasn’t much that stood out. This was a simple district with no real landmarks. There was no real draw. No tourist attractions. No fabric stores either to garner Marinette’s interest.

So why come here? What had she been doing? And where did she go?

“Does anything stick out to you guys?” Alya asked as she glanced around, trying to find anything that could indicate where Marinette had been.

The others started looking around as well, but for all intents and purposes, it was just a plain street. The split up amongst themselves to go into the shops and ask around for clues. But none of the stores seemed like places where Marinette would go. And none of the workers inside had seen her. Though if they had, there was no way for her to have stood out to them enough for them to recall her weeks later.

“Not with the akuma attack, anyway.” One clerk stated. “It was a distance away, sure, but still close enough that we all shut down and hid out in our stores.”

Alya had nodded in understanding. Because honestly, while Ladybug and Chat Noir did a great job stopping the akumas, the fights could take them all over Paris in the span of an hour. Even if a battle was on the other side of the city, there was no telling where they would end up by the end.

She thanked the man for his time and left the store. Nothing she didn’t already know, but still, any information was useful. Something about it had nagged at her, though, so she wrote it in her notes all the same.

“Any luck?” Ivan asked, causing her to look up at the assembled group. Nino had been chatting with Ivan while Luka had taken to strumming on his guitar while they waited. Rose and Juleka were talking to someone at a nearby kiosk, possibly to purchase one of the charms.

Alya shook her head, regretfully. “Nothing on my end. At least not anything new. How about you?”

The boys shook their heads sadly. Alya couldn’t help the disappointment at that.

“Do you think there’s something we missed?” Ivan asked, trying to be hopeful.

Luka frowned, playing a few notes on his guitar, a bit harshly in apparent agitation. It was probably his method of coping, Alya rationalized. A part of her wished she had some reassurance to give him, but she was feeling despondent herself. Whatever boost she had gotten from seeing justice served with Lila was starting to falter, and she didn’t know how much hope she’d be able to hold on to for her best friend.

“Hey guys!” Rose came running over, looking excited. Juleka followed along silently behind her at a somewhat slower but still faster than usual pace. “That guy selling charms said he saw Marinette that day!”

That got their attention as everyone perked up.

“Really?”

“Where?”

“It was right before the akuma attack.” Rose explained, practically bouncing as she told them. “She was looking at the charms at his kiosk and mumbling about different designs for them, so they had gotten to talking a bit.” She frowned, looking concerned. “But then they heard the akuma alert. The owner was shutting down his kiosk but pointed out the direction he saw Marinette run.”

Juleka reached out, pointing towards a gap between two particular stores. “In there.”

Alya turned to look. The stores in question were both the tallest buildings on the street, standing at four stories with a clear alleyway between them. They didn’t have much in the way of decorations, but with the awnings and balconies, did appear to provide cover. Maybe Marinette had hid in there during the fight?

The alleyway itself was empty. Other than a fire escape on one side, a dumpster, and a fence blocking the way through, there didn’t seem to be much else of notice. And the dumpster had to have been cleaned out in the weeks since Marinette’s disappearance.

Nino heaved a sigh of relief when Alya told him this before he could attempt to dumpster dive for clues. He wanted to find Marinette, sure. And he certainly would have been willing to loot a dumpster for her, but that didn’t mean he wanted to.

The group spread out along the alley, continuing to search for clues. While not searching within the dumpster itself, Nino and Ivan had gone so far as to lift the dumpster enough for Rose to do a quick search beneath for anything. Juleka checked the fence for any holes or ways through. Luka stood near the entrance to the alley as a lookout in case anyone noticed them, absently picking at notes on his guitar.

Alya, for her part, tried to check the fire escape. Was it reachable from the ground? No, it was at least a story up and the ladder leading to it wasn’t lowered if it was even there at all. Maybe if Marinette had stood on the dumpster? Hmm...what if there was a way to check for height on her map?

She pulled out her phone

And immediately froze.

There, on her phone’s map, was a blinking, fuzzy icon. The one that had been indicating Marinette. At some point without realizing it, she had switched from the image of Marinette’s last placement to the current. She saw her own indicator with her picture, as well as those of her other friends with her.

But amidst her searching, the icon symbolizing Marinette’s current location on her map had been moving.

It was moving here.

And suddenly...

It had stopped.

It...was here.

Marinette...it said she was here.

Alya froze.

She couldn’t breathe.

She couldn’t even move her body from her spot. At most, she was able to move her eyes, searching wildly for any trace of her best friend.

But...nothing.

Why was it saying she was here?

“Marinette?!”

All other sound ceased. The others turned to her, but she didn’t even notice because it was here! The signal was right here! Marinette was here!

But…she wasn’t.

It was just herself. Just Alya. Just Nino. Just Luka and Rose and the rest of Kitty Section. Just them. Just random people passing by on the street.

No Marinette.

But…

A quick glance to the phone showed it was still there. So Marinette had to be here, right?

But why?

Alya looked around frantically, calling out in desperation.

“MARINETTE?!”

Silence.

A few strange looks from the people nearby.

Not even her friends dared to speak.

And on her phone, the icon symbolizing Marinette’s signal started to fade and drift away.

Alya stared at the icon. Wishing it back.

“Babe…” Nino tried, approaching her cautiously. “What was that?”

She bit her lip.

“I…don’t know?”

______________________

Oh.

The music stopped.

Whatever strands of melody and lingering echoes of the tune had since faded from the rooftop where she stood.

It had been a beautiful melody. Something gentle and kind in its own way. And while she knew better than to take a break, she had a strange inclination to listen to the sweet yet heartbreaking tune while it lasted.

…it just hadn’t lasted very long.

The loss felt…sad, in a way. She couldn’t help but feel that it had been cut off all too soon.

And the silence bothered her.

It seemed…stifling, almost.

She shook it off.

It was time to go anyway. She had spent too much time here as it was. And she still needed to…do whatever it was she was here to do. Continue searching the city. Keep an eye out for any akumas. Be useful. Stay busy.

Until she could go back to wherever she had been before, at least.

She sighed and threw her yo-yo. As she approached the edge of the building, she allowed the low murmur of background noise and city life to erase that gnawing emptiness. She swung off, leaving the sounds of shouting behind her. Whatever it was, it didn’t sound important.

Back to work.

______________________

Evening came all too slowly for Adrien. The rest of the day seemed to drag on and made him all that much more eager for the end of school. And wasn’t that an irony that he actually wanted to be out of school for once?

But the only thing he was more eager about than school was his friends. And Alya seemed to think she had a lead on Marinette. If she had anything, he wanted to know. If there was even a chance, he’d happily take it if it meant getting to see her again.

Unfortunately, their differing schedules made meeting difficult. Alya had wanted to share her info with Nino, and knowing how affected Adrien was by everything, Nino had insisted Adrien be there as well. But Adrien had practice and lessons after school. And Nino and Alya both had obligations at their respective homes.

It had been decided that they would do a phone chat later in the evening. After Nino and Alya’s younger siblings were put to bed and when Adrien’s schedule was clear.

He was practically vibrating out of his chair with nervousness the longer he waited for their video chat.

“Boo!”

So much so that he actually fell out of his chair when Plagg returned.

“Plagg! Where have you been?!” Adrien demanded as he pushed himself up. He was of course happy that he had returned, but really!

The kwami snickered at Adrien’s expression. Could anyone blame him? That was hilarious.

...but back on point, Plagg remembered his news and quickly got serious.

“I couldn’t find the Guardian.”

Adrien’s eyes widened. “Did something happen to him?”

Plagg shrugged. “I don’t know. He could just be out running errands or something. We’ll need to try again.”

“I could try calling him now.” Adrien suggested. If he had just been busy when he tried before, then surely it would be all right to try again to reach him now? And as long as he had his phone, Fu should be able to get his call. Though in that case, Fu should already have known about his earlier call, right?

Adrien bit his lip in worry. So much had been happening lately. Marinette disappeared. The whole thing with Lila. Ladybug was...apparently in a bad mood for some reason. Now Plagg was agitated and they couldn’t reach Master Fu.

He took a breath to steady himself. They weren’t sure Fu was actually unreachable yet. He needed to call him first. And if that didn’t work, he could have Plagg lead him to the man’s place to check up on him.

Still...he couldn’t help the anxiety he was feeling, and it only seemed to be getting worse.

BRIIIIIING!

“AAH!”

As was evident when he panicked at the sudden alarm from his phone. So much so that it took him three tries to grab the phone as he kept dropping it due to his frantic fumbling. Ignoring Plagg’s commentary, he looked to the screen and saw it was a video call request from Alya.

Oh right. The video chat with Nino and Alya. It was supposed to start now. He had just gotten distracted.

He took a breath and answered the call.

“Hey! Hi! Hello! Glad you made it!”

Honestly, he could have smacked himself.

Somewhere off to the side, Plagg was snickering. On the video, both Alya and Nino seemed to be smiling at how frazzled he appeared. Adrien himself was much less amused.

“Did you find anything?” He asked, only partly to distract from himself.

Mostly because he was hoping for some news. That their excursion earlier had been successful. That they’d found something on their friend. Preferably the friend in question.

But their downhearted expressions told him the answer before they even had to say anything. The explanation that followed was short but detailed, and only seemed to further his confusion. Given their expressions, Adrien was sure that Alya and Nino were in the same boat.

“It was the weirdest thing...” Alya trailed off in a mutter.

“I’ll say.” Nino added with a laugh. “You were kind of freaking out. We all panicked when you started shouting.”

In any other instance, Alya might have been offended. As it was, though, she was quiet. Remaining deep in thought and seemingly oblivious to her boyfriend’s attempt to distract from her.

But Adrien noticed.

“Alya? What’s up?”

A moment of silence followed as she attempted to gather her thoughts.

Then...

“I have a theory.“ Alya started, looking apprehensive.

Adrien perked up. “A theory? What of?”

Nino, for his part, found in realization. “Does this have to do with what happened earlier?“

She nodded. “I’d been following her cell phone signal. After…” She hesitated for a second. “Well, when I was Lady Wifi, I managed to track Marinette’s phone signal and that same signal is on my phone now. But something isn’t right about it.”

She lifted her phone to the screen so Adrien could see what she meant. Sure enough, there was Marinette’s icon active on the map, but...it looked strange. Distorted. He struggled to tell that it was Marinette’s picture there at all.

“It’s been like this for a while. I’ve never seen any case like this, and there are no reports online of anything similar. Plus given how it’s been moving around…” She pulled her phone back and shrugged. “I think magic may be involved.”

Adrien straightened. “So you think she might have been akumatized?”

She shrugged. “Near as I can figure.“

Nino frowned. “But that doesn’t make sense. Hawk Moth can only akumatize one person at a time.“

Well, that wasn’t quite true, Adrien realized. There had been the Scarlet Moth incident when he had caused a mass akumatization with that illusion. Then it happened again that time Marinette had been expelled thanks to Lila’s schemes.

He bit back the rush of resentment and guilt at the memory to focus.

Could Hawk Moth akumatize more than one person at once? There had been the young twins who became Sapotis and when Alya and Nino became Oblivio, but those were cases where two people were essentially one akuma. And even in the case of multiple active akuma like the time Lady WiFi, Reflecta, and Princess Fragrance came after him thanks to his cousin, they all still only shared one akuma. Purifying that had been enough to restore all three, and in this case, he and Ladybug had already done that. So if that was the case, Marinette should have been restored as well, even if they hadn’t fought her.

“Could he have made Lady WiFi if Marinette was already an akuma?” Adrien asked.

“He’s akumatized more than one person at once though. There was the incident with the scarlet butterflies. And then there were also the time with my sisters.” Alya argued, remembering the same incidents Adrien had.

“And when Adrien’s jerk of a cousin caused you, Rose, and Juleka to be akumatized.” Nino added.

Alya groaned. “We just don’t know the extent of Hawk Moth’s power.”

Adrien nodded at that. Of course it was possible that Hawk Moth had discovered some new ability. But his power seemed to follow certain rules and have at least some limitations, so it didn’t make sense that he could suddenly do this.

Or why, for that matter? Hawk Moth did show some capability for planning—Scarlet Moth was proof of that. But what could he possibly gain from keeping Marinette as an akuma for this long?

But...hadn’t he targeted her before?

Adrien bit his lip.

There was too much uncertainty.

He sent a glance to Plagg, who saw his look and shook his head in response. The kwami looked particularly annoyed at the current train of the discussion. Clearly they were on the wrong track.

Adrien took a breath. “I don’t think that’s it. If it was Hawk Moth, what would be the purpose? We all know Marinette is gone now and would be looking for anything that could be behind it. If he had the ability to akumatize multiple people back to back, why use it like this? It doesn’t add up.”

“I don’t know if it is that Hawk Moth akumatized her.” Aly admitted. “It’s just that it has to be magic. There’s no other way to explain it. I mean, it’s not just Marinette that’s gone. Her cellphone…” She hesitated. “It isn’t stable. It’s there, but...not? And she was there today. I know she was.”

She had to give Max credit for his capabilities. The data was extensive and thorough despite the clear limits. And quite advanced. She hadn’t known it was possible to get as much data as he had, or even that it existed. But it was helpful to her search, and that was the important thing. With it, she was able to glean information. And slowly, a timeline started to form.

As did a theory.

“So her phone signal is still there, but she isn’t. And it’s been like this since...“

Since Marinette went missing.

The same day she disappeared, the biggest thing that happened that day was—

“The akuma.” Alya whispered. She frowned as she switched her browser on her computer to the Ladyblog and started looking through the archived footage and documentation of that attack.

There was an akuma attack that day. Someone feeling forgotten and overlooked was given the power to erase others.

She had watched a video of one such unfortunate victim. The poor guy didn’t even have a chance to wince at being hit. He just vanished the instant the attack made contact.

“But if Marinette was akumatized,” Nino continued, “why would Hawk Moth even make an akuma like that? If she’s not doing anything other than making herself disappear...that’s not useful for him, is it?”

Alya frowned, looking over the data again. “It’s not, no.”

Adrien also wasn’t convinced. From Plagg’s expression, it seemed he had some idea, though now wasn’t the time to press him. He’d have to wait until after the call was over. “It’s also much quieter, isn’t it? Every akuma up until now has been immediate and noticeable, otherwise Ladybug and Chat Noir wouldn’t know to come out and fight it, and Hawk Moth wouldn’t have a chance to target their Miraculous. The only exception was when Sabrina was akumatized the first time to be invisible, and even that was only for a couple of days.”

Nino shrugged but appeared to agree with him. “It’s been a couple of weeks since Marinette disappeared. If it was an akuma, wouldn’t we have noticed one by now? Akumas are generally fueled by emotions. They aren’t subtle.”

Alya looked back at her phone, reviewing the timeline. “But if she isn’t an akuma herself, then the only other option I can think of is that she was hit by that erasure akuma last month.” She shook her head, incredulous. “But that can’t be right. The Miraculous Cure would have brought her back, wouldn’t it?”

So caught in the discussion between his friends, Adrien didn’t see how Plagg looked stricken.

“It’s never failed before.” Nino stated.

“But what else could explain the state of her phone signal? It should either be there or not at all.

Adrien paused, tilting his head thoughtfully.  “That’s not normal.” He agreed.

“It does indicate that whatever happened to Marinette, it must be magical. And the only one with any sort of power along those lines would be Hawk Moth.”

“But why?”

She sighed.

“I guess that’s the question, isn’t it?”

None of them noticed Gabriel standing outside the door. Or the expression of dawning horror.

________________

Gabriel felt numb in a way he never thought he had been before.

The missing Dupain-Cheng girl? An akuma?

No. That was impossible.

Even if he was capable of akumatizing more than one person at a time outside of the Scarlet Moths, he would still have known. He would have made contact with her. And from his experience with his powers, he would have a link to the girl.

There was nothing.

But the only other explanation…

An official victim of an akuma attack. Someone that the Cure didn’t bring back.

How was it possible?

He entered the office in a daze. Nathalie followed him closely  in worry, but he barely took notice. He just shut the door quietly behind him once they had both entered, then leaned against it. He felt shaky. Off balance.

He had gone to his son’s room to see if he had access to any of the pictures or footage from the fashion show. Or if that journalist friend of his still had her video. Just...anything.

Audrey had called him in such a rage that day. Somehow, the shipments of her latest issue of Style Queen never made it out. Her attempt to recover the issue failed due to multiple holes and entire blank pages where pictures and articles should have been. So she had reached out to him through Nathalie, demanding his involvement and taking his attention away from his duties as Hawk Moth. At the time, he had begrudged her the missed opportunity at another akumatization.

But now…

“That can’t be right.” He murmured to himself. How could this be? How was this even possible?

“Sir?”

“The blank pages and missing pictures were those of myself and my son, as well as any of my son in that hat.”

“The one from the contest?” Nathalie asked, uncertainly.

“Made by a Marinette Dupain-Cheng. A girl who it seems is also missing. And has been for some time…”

He looked to his computer, wondering if he could pull up the information or if that would be gone as well. He had thought it a simple error at first, but the more he searched, the less he found. And now, after hearing his son’s conversation...what else could it be?

“But the Miraculous Cure restores everything.” He continued, almost monotone. “That’s what it does. That’s how it works.”

She hesitated.

“Maybe…not this time?”

He felt unsteady as he made his way to his desk. Perhaps he actually was, as Nathalie had quickly moved to his side to help him to his chair. Given how he felt, he could only assume he probably looked ready to fall over.

“Sir?”

It…it shouldn’t have happened. The Miraculous Cure always undid any damage of the akuma battles. It rebuilt any damaged or destroyed property. Healed injuries. Brought people back from any sort of unwelcome fate. It restored people from being half-melted ice cream sculptures, for crying out loud!

For anyone to have just…NOT been saved was unheard of.

Gabriel had thought he had been prepared for this. But now that he was actually experiencing it, he was…left shaken...

He had known going in that casualties would be a very real possibility, but had reassured himself. It was for the greater good. His family was worth it. Everything would work out in the end. He could just use the Wish to change the world and make it so that none of this had ever happened.

And then Ladybug had appeared with the power to restore things and he was only further convinced. There wouldn’t be any long term damage. No one would be really harmed. Whatever happened could be fixed.

No one would die.

It became almost like a game. He could go all out with little concern for the consequences. If he lost, Ladybug would just use her Cure to fix everything and he would get another chance to try again. And if he won, he could correct things himself.

As such, he ceased to worry about the “what if’s” and focused solely on his goal.

But now a child was gone. As good as dead. Possibly worse.

And this time, magic wouldn’t bring her back.

For not the first time since he had started on this path, Gabriel wondered if it was worth it.

Mademoiselle Dupain-Cheng was an aspiring designer who showed great promise. From his limited interactions with her, he could see she had passion—both for her art and in her life. He had been impressed with what he had seen of her capability, and her level of care for his son was secret only to Adrien himself.

And now she was gone.

And Adrien…his own son was suffering for it.

He had heard from Nathalie how Adrien had been worried for her. How he had gone so far as to go out and search for her in some futile hope of finding her. How he had held onto that hope, trying to reassure himself each day that she would return safely.

Adrien…truly cared about this girl.

He wondered if it was any different to how he felt about Emilie?

What would he think if he learned the truth? If he discovered who Hawk Moth really was? If he knew his father was the reason his friend had been erased.

It was…too much.

Was this a sign?

Was this an indicator that he was going too far?

He should stop. Before more people were hurt. Before his son discovered the truth. He should…

He should stop this.

…

And yet…

Gabriel clenched his eyes shut.

…he couldn’t.

Stopping meant letting go of Emilie. It meant giving up on ever getting her back. Of ever making their family whole.

If he gave up now, that would make all he had done for nothing—including the child’s loss as well.

He was not completely heartless. A missing child would no doubt cause quite a bit of turmoil. It was no wonder Lady WiFi hadn’t listened to him, being too intent on searching for her friend. The feelings that had drawn his akuma to her...similar to the growing feelings settling on a number of Paris’s citizens.

Worry, sadness, fear, anger…all were emotions that would make perfect targets for his akumas. In any other circumstances, he would see fit to use that. However…given his part in this matter, the very thought of using the loss of a child to his advantage—especially when it was his fault—made him feel ill.

He would avoid targeting her friends or family. He owed her that much.

But he…he had to continue.

He had to make it worth it.

Once he saved Emilie, perhaps he could even use the Wish to bring back Miss Dupain-Cheng as well?

Then maybe…

Maybe they would forgive him someday.

________________

Sure enough, a few days later it all came to a head.

When Adrien arrived in class that day after yet another failed attempt at contacting Master Fu, it was to a group of some of his classmates looking particularly concerned and surrounding an upset Juleka. The girl wasn't crying, but she looked to be close as Rose kept an arm around her shoulder and was trying to whisper words of comfort to her. The only ones not present were Max and Nathaniel.

"Don't worry.” Rose reassured her. “I’m sure they've just been misplaced somewhere."

Juleka shook her head firmly. "No. I keep them on my wall. I never move them, but they're just gone."

"Maybe your mom or Luka moved them?" Kim suggested.

"Not without telling me. And I asked them. Neither of them knew anything."

Adrien grew more concerned as he approached the group. "Guys, what's going on?"

Alix glanced over to him and answered. "Juleka's photos are missing."

That was a surprise. He knew how much actually appearing in a photograph meant to the girl. It would have to be upsetting to her to lose any of them.

"They were all the ones from the class photograph.” Mylene explained. "Remember? The ones we took in the park.”

Adrien winced internally before nodding. He had remembered full well that entire incident...and the akuma she turned into because of it...and the heels (god, the heels). They had taken quite a number that day and Juleka had seemed so happy when she went home with copies in hand. "Do you recall where you last left them?"

Juleka appeared more morose. "They're on my wall. They're always right there and I can't miss them. I put them up immediately after getting home and haven't moved them since. I know I saw them there yesterday, but when I got up this morning, the wall was completely blank."

"That's really weird.” Alya chimed in. "And you're saying no one moved them?"

Juleka shook her head.

The other classmates glanced to each other, appearing more uncertain. Adrien himself started to gain an unsettling feeling.

"I keep them all posted on a board in my room. They're right there and I can't miss them, but when I looked this morning…” She shook her head.

"I never move them."

"Maybe it's a prank?” Kim asked, but he sounded uncertain. If it was a prank, it was a cruel and rather pointless one.

Alix seemed to share that sentiment. "It's not a funny one. Who would even do that?"

The group looked around at each other. They were really the only ones who even knew Juleka's "curse” or about the pictures. But each of them simply looked confused over the matter.

"It couldn't have been a prank.” Ivan insisted. "Luka would never do that and their mother would punch out anyone who tried."

Mylene frowned, considering. "Juleka's house is a boat. One housing three people and isn't that big that someone could sneak on board without being seen."

“It’d be a pointless thing to do—sneak onto a boat just to mess with pictures and nothing else.” Kim noted. “Was anything else missing?”

Juleka shook her head. “Not that I know of. Just my pictures.”

"It's okay." Rose said, trying to be cheerful and calm her upset friend. "I have a couple extras of the photos we took in my notebook. We can copy them and replace the ones that went missing."

It wasn’t quite the same, but it was a suitable alternative for now. So with a solution to the more immediate problem at hand, Rose shared a bright smile that Juleka tried to return—albeit with a much more strained and shaky one. Rose didn't comment, instead going to her desk and pulling out her book bag.

“I keep them right in—”

The others looked over in confusion as Rose suddenly cut off, her expression turning confused.

"Rose? Everything okay?” Alix asked, growing worried at the prolonged silence.

Rose bit her lip and turned back to the group. "Did one of you maybe already take my notebook?"

Confusion seemed to be the theme of the day, as the classmates again glanced at one another before looking back to Rose.

"I'm not mad or anything!” Rose said, attempting to reassure them. "Since it's for Juleka, but if you already have it, I'd like to know where it is."

"Wait...are you saying your notebook is missing, too?" Nino asked.

Rose bit her lip, uncertain. "I don't—I mean, I guess so?"

"That's strange." Adrien said with a frown. He turned to the rest of the group in growing concern. "Look around. Is anyone else missing anything?"

The rest of the class searched through their bags, but fortunately, no one else seemed to be missing anything.

“That is odd. First Juleka’s pictures, then Rose’s diary? Why those things?” Alya wondered. She muttered to herself about an akuma and checked her blog to see if anyone had posted any similar cases on the matter.

The rest of the class took it upon themselves to try and offer some reassurance to the two girls that their items would be found.

“Maybe we can check the cameras?” Ivan suggested.

“That’s a lot of footage to go through though.” Nino pointed out.

“I bet Markov could go through it pretty quick.” Kim replied with a grin.

Adrien looked around at his classmates. It was good to see them mostly recovered from the ordeal with Lila and trying to help each other. But he couldn’t shake the feeling something was strange.

He could almost get a sense for it before he was interrupted by the timely yet untimely arrival of Max.

Kim smiled in relief at the sight of his friend. “Hey, Max! Buddy! Think you and Markov could give us a hand with a little investigation? Rose and Juleka seem to be missing some things and we figured maybe you could help!”

Max, for his part, looked concerned and a bit guilty. "I'm sorry, but Markov and I are already busy trying to assist Nathaniel and Marc. It seems that somehow, their collaborative comic has been erased."

Multiple gasp and moans of horror and disappointment filled the room at that. Everyone really enjoyed that comic and they had been really looking forward to the next installment.

"Do you know what caused it?" Mylene asked.

"We've been doing everything we could, but we haven't been able to find anything about the comic in the computer. I suspect it may be a virus of some kind, but there's no trace of anything of the sort. We're trying to help them work this out. They had gotten a lot of work done on this comic and I'd hate to see it lost."

"I'm sure you'll figure it out. You're amazing when it comes to technology." Kim said with a grin, fully confident in his friend's capabilities.

But Max didn't look enthused. "I'm not so sure. Markov can't find any trace of an outside program or of the comic even being there.” He waved his hands. “It’s like it just…vanished!”

Adrien frowned. Three things in one day. It…couldn’t just be coincidence, could it?

“Can it do that?”

“Not like that. Not normally.”

"This is strange.” Mylene said anxiously, gripping Ivan’s hand. “A lot of things seem to be missing."

Alya frowned, looking at her phone. "Speaking of strange things, I just got a hit to the Ladyblog. It's Marinette's parents. They want to talk to Ladybug and Chat Noir as soon as possible."

Several of the classmates perked in surprise.

“Could it be an akuma?”

“Do you think they’re okay?”

“Did they find something about Marinette?”

“But why call for Ladybug and Chat Noir then?”

“Huh? Hey, Adrien, where are you going? Class is about to start!”

Adrien barely took notice. He was already out the door.

______________________

If he hadn't already received the message, Chat would have known immediately that something was wrong. Rolland and Gina Dupain were present at the bakery. He knew little regarding the Dupain family, but he had been under the impression that the two were not on good terms. But they were actually working together without issue, with Gina working the counter and Rolland working the kitchen with nary a grumble regarding the bread.

When Chat arrived, Gina immediately called for Tom. And within seconds, he was quickly rushed in by the much taller man, who…did not look well.

The giant, kind bear of a man looked like he had aged since the last time he had seen him. Not to any great or unnatural extent, but it was clear that stress had impacted him.

Losing a child would do that to you, he realized. But whatever else was going on was certainly doing him no favors.

"Thank you for coming." Tom said with clear relief as he opened the door.

Chat nodded in return as he entered. "It's not a problem. But your message sounded urgent. Has there been any word on Marinette?" Like hopefully that she returned and the bakery was closed so the parents could smother her in affection?

He was hopeful. He was a hopeful guy.

Tom shook his head. "I don't know how to explain it. It's best if you see it for yourself." With that, he led the way through the back. Chat followed with some growing trepidation and jumped when he entered the living area.

Sabine was there. Her gaze practically snapped to him the instant he appeared, though she didn't otherwise move. The woman was sitting on the couch, clutching a box of what appeared to contain an assortment of clothes and dolls. Marinette's things, he realized. But why? Comfort, perhaps?

But Sabine didn't look sad or in need of comfort. If anything, her expression made him wary to approach her. She looked upset no—not just upset, but downright angry. She was on guard and watching him with a strange sort of hypervigilance. Like she'd literally bite his hand off if he got too close. He had no doubt that magical suit or not, the woman probably could.

Chat had thought the grandparents had looked particularly tired. Like perhaps they hadn’t slept in a while. But Tom and Sabine both looked like they had slept even less.

For her part, Sabine’s eyes narrowed at him and she pulled the box closer to her and as out of his sight as possible. It bothered him, because it was strange for someone to be clutching a box like that. She wasn't looking to the things inside for solace, she was warily watching everything else around her.

Something was wrong.

More wrong, he amended.

"We noticed it after a few days, but we didn't know what to think." Tom said, softly as he continued to lead the hero up the stairs and through the house. "It looked like some of her things had been moved around. At first we thought that maybe she'd found a way back home. Or that she was trying to communicate with us somehow. But... “He opened the door and allowed Chat into the room.

When Chat finally entered Marinette's room, he couldn't help feeling bewildered.

Was it always this empty, he wondered? He glanced around at the different areas of Marinette's room, noting the differences and the overall"¦lacking. The walls were missing pictures. There was nothing on the desk. The mannequin that was normally adorned with the beginnings of some sort of outfit or new piece wasn't even present, leaving a sadly empty space in the room. There weren't even the knick knacks or textiles or yarn or cloth pieces that he remembered seeing previously. It looked like a room. It even looked like someone lived in it. But it was bare of a lot of what made it Marinette's.

Tom looked around the room in growing dismay. "It's getting worse."

Chat blinked in confusion. "What?"

"The posters are gone now. So are the gloves she had been working on. Several of the pictures changed before they disappeared." Tom looked to Chat, eyes begging for an answer. "We checked frequently, but bit by bit, they were gone before we realized it. It's like they're just...”

"They're fading." Chat realized in growing horror. He'd started to suspect, given Juleka's pictures and Rose's diary, but this confirmed it.

This wasn't natural.

Marinette didn't run away. Nothing so simple could explain what he had been seeing so far. No human could pull this off, and he knew Marinette was far from the sort to even try, no matter the reason. This was magic, he was sure of it.

"Sabine and I have been taking shifts. Whenever we looked away, something else was gone. So we just...” He shrugged helplessly before gesturing down the ladder.

Downstairs. To where Sabine sat hoarding a box with all the ferocity of a dragon guarding its gold.

He understood now. Marinette's mother wasn't holding onto Marinette's belongings out of missing her child, she was literally trying to keep them from disappearing!

Her room. The pictures. The notebook. The comic. They were all connected by her influence. Everything Marinette owned or had a part in was starting to fade away. Her parents figured it out and they were trying to protect what was left of their daughter.

He clenched his fists.

He had to talk to Ladybug.

______________________

How frustrating.

It had been weeks, but Ladybug had made little progress in her self appointed mission to track down Hawk Moth. And it had been vexing, especially given his recent silence. Other than Lady Wifi, there hadn’t been any other akuma attacks. Even in spite of the more despondent atmosphere she had noticed around the Francois Dupont school as of late.

He must be planning something...

Surely there had to be some minor issue he would consider escalating to akuma-worthy. That incident in the park with that strange old man certainly stood out in her mind as one such missed opportunity for the supervillain.

...who even was that man? He acted like he knew her and was spouting...the strangest things.

Who she was before she became Ladybug? Someone beneath the mask? He ‘knew’ her?

Ridiculous.

Clearly he had been suffering some ailment when he happened upon her.

She sighed.

It was unfortunate really. For a brief moment there, she had almost thought the man had known something valuable. He had seemed so earnest. And she could almost swear he seemed...familiar? Like she had met him somewhere before.

She rubbed her head, trying to recall. It wasn’t just this time or the one incident before. Maybe she had rescued him once? Maybe he was one of the civilians she had chatted with on some previous occasion? And that could be how he thought he knew her?

Maybe...

“Ladybug! LADYBUG!”

At the sound of someone calling for her, she stopped and turned around to see Chat running towards her. She was glad to see him again, but from his expression and the way he was running, it looked like this wasn’t a social visit.

“Chat? Is everything all right?” She asked once he had finally reached her. “Is there an akuma?”

“No! I mean yes! I mean—not exactly!” He shook his head. “Sorry, just…”

She couldn’t understand him through his babbling. Ladybug frowned and held her hands out, gesturing for his silence to get his attention.

“Chat, calm down and breathe. Then tell me what is wrong.”

To her further annoyance, he took a deep—somewhat exaggerated breath. If nothing else, however, it did serve to get him to settle and be able to speak normally.

“Listen, I think something may have gone wrong in the last akuma battle. Well—not the last one, but the last last one.”

…semi-normally.

At least she could understand him, at any rate.

Still, that was concerning. “What do you mean?”

She had stopped that akuma, hadn’t she?

“A friend of mine disappeared after that battle and never reappeared. Now she’s missing.”

“You mean that Marinette girl? Chat, it’s likely she may have run away.”

“NO. She didn’t. I was worried about that at first, but she wouldn’t and I was right. Other things are disappearing now! Everything of hers or that she had a hand in is literally fading away! She had to have been hit by that erasing akuma.”

“That’s impossible. The Miraculous Cure fixes all the damage caused by an akuma fight.”

“But Marinette hasn’t returned!”

“Then maybe she wasn’t involved with the akuma fight at all.”

“Her things are disappearing! Anything that reminds people of her are suddenly vanishing if people aren’t constantly watching them! That’s not normal! That’s magic.”

“Did you actually see anything disappear?”

He paused.

“Well—not directly myself, no.” He admitted, rubbing his head. “But a lot of people have said things are disappearing. And they all seem to be things she had some involvement or influence in.”

Marinette had come up with the idea for Rose’s journal after Chloe had insulted it. She had helped Juleka break her curse and take all those fun photos to make up for the class picture. Marc and Nathaniel’s comic only got started because Marinette had introduced them. And from what he saw at the bakery, the effect was expanding.

He froze, a creeping realization sinking in.

If it was expanding, just how much would be gone?

“But if you haven’t seen it, then how do you know that it’s an akuma?”

“But they said—”

She shook her head. “Chat, it could just be coincidence. People misplace things. Lose things. Throw things away and forget about them. It happens. That doesn’t make it noteworthy and doesn’t mean it’s magic. Sometimes, those things are just gone.”

“But they—”

“You have to face facts, Chat Noir. If she’s gone, she may not return.”

He’d had enough.

“What is WRONG with you?”

He had plenty of times where he felt annoyed or angry with Ladybug. When she rejected him. When she kept secrets. When she didn’t seem to take him seriously. Looking back, those instances seemed so incredibly petty compared to how he felt in this moment.

Never had he ever wanted to shake her the way he did now.

“A girl is missing! She is literally fading from existence and you don’t care!”

“Chat, you don’t even know that’s actually the case! There are other things to worry about right now!”

“This is a person’s LIFE AT STAKE!”

Ladybug simply looked unimpressed. “Everyone’s life is at stake against Hawk Moth, Chat! And you would have me put him on hold just for one person?”

“She isn’t just one person!”

She was a person! She had a name! And a family! And friends! And a dream! She was an up and coming designer! Jagged Stone’s artist! Their class representative! His classmate!

She...

She was his...

Now Ladybug looked almost...sad? Disappointed?

“You’re too attached to this girl to think about this objectively, Chat. You are letting your emotions cloud your judgement. As a hero, you need to be impartial.”

He grit his teeth.

He wanted to say something.

He wanted to say so much.

But instead, he turned tail and stormed off.

It was Ladybug. His partner. The person he would follow in any crisis. He knew to an extent that she had a point, because yeah, he had a tendency to act on his emotions rather than think things through. But...she sounded like she didn’t care.

What else could he do?

So he ran away.

But Ladybug...

She simply stood there. Her head tilted in confusion as she watched him go. She watched for a minute before she shrugged it off and turned away. She didn't try to go after him. Not once did she call out to him.

Her partner was running away from her...

...and she just let him.

______________________

Tom knew something was wrong.

It had been a busy day in the bakery. Despite the circumstances in the current situation with her daughter being missing, they couldn't just keep the bakery closed. After all, Marinette had to have a place to come back to at some point. And they needed to keep living.

But that didn't mean it wasn't hard.

Tom and Sabine had been torn. In their current state, they were hard pressed to keep the bakery running and also focus on efforts to find their daughter. It was even worse now that they had distinct reason to believe magic was involved.

It had been fortunate that both Gina and Rolland had been willing to put their differences and issues aside to come help. They had been a substantial support during this time. When Tom had reached out to them, Gina had cut short her trip to Peru to fly back to Paris and assist, mentioning using her connections to deal with some of the cartels in the area known for human trafficking on the chance they happened to be involved. And Rolland had taken to the traditional methods of posting Marinette’s MISSING picture at various locations.

Seeing the current situation with the parents, both had gone so far as to agree to help in the bakery. Gina had agreed to manage the storefront while Rolland had taken to helping in the kitchen. Surprisingly with minimal complaint about the bread. And even willing to close his own bakery in the meantime.

He was still difficult, but it was clear the man was trying. And he was more help than not.

This allowed Tom and Sabine to be able to breathe. There were points where one or the other would have to go to the back when things got to be too much. From the normal stress of the job itself to the pitying looks and questions they would sometimes get. And now to try to keep count of what else of their daughter’s had disappeared when they weren’t looking. Which meant they had taken to shifts during the night as well in hopes that their presence would slow down the process.

Sabine had been quite focused on this for the past few days, willing to leave the majority of the bakery work to the other three. But one could only spend so long staring at a box and a slowly emptying room, and she had eventually agreed to Tom’s pleas to just try to return to a regular work day if only to restore a sense of normalcy.

...he should have realized something was up the instant she had agreed.

She had switched with Gina in working the front and dealing with the customers. Plastering a perfect smile and jovial tone, as if her world wasn’t crumbling. He was concerned with her state, but Tom had wondered if this wasn’t her way of trying to cope. Sabine had long had a way of being a pillar of calm in any storm, so he had decided to trust in her.

But then there were the more...delicate customers.

Enrique Arnette was never an easy man to deal with. Pretentious, high-handed, and with a need to be catered to in a way that rivaled with Audrey Bourgeois. He could be her brother, all things considered. They were both loud and full of themselves. Only she, at least, had the power and capability to back her.

Unlike Audrey, Enrique was just loud. Loud and entitled. He was well known for being picky and making specific demands that some questioned might be less about what he actually wanted and more about looking for a reason to get upset and cause a fuss. But Tom and Sabine's Bakery seemed to be one of the few places capable of meeting his picky and overly extravagant standards.

Usually, Sabine was more than capable of handling him or any other contrary customer.

But today...

"What is this? Are you supposed to be a bakery or a crematorium?"

It was like nothing she did was satisfactory.

It might have been the stress getting to her. Tom would have believed that.

Except that the smile on her face was like ice. And her eyes were like steel. When he tried to step in to take over handling the order, Sabine clutched the plate in an iron grip. And as she looked up at him, her gaze was downright unnerving.

"Let me handle this."

Tom didn't dare disagree. He just watched and waited anxiously to the side as Sabine continued to try and fail to fulfill his order.

It was too cooked.

There was too much syrup.

The fruit was mashed.

The design was poorly done.

As Enrique became more frustrated, Tom noticed how Sabine neither stood up to the verbal tirade, nor did she apologize.

And his wife's expression was a knowing one.

It was...unusual for her. If he didn't know better...or maybe because he did know better, he couldn't stop himself from wondering if it was intentional?

The way she was messing up the order so many times was not like her, to the point he could swear it was on purpose. And her attitude and responses, while not outright rude, were not customer-friendly and were certainly far from her norm.

Was she...trying to upset him?

"What kind of service is this?!" The man demanded.

Tom stepped forward. "Dear, why don't I handle this and you can take a break, okay?"

But Sabine didn't even look at Tom. Her gaze remained fully on Enrique.

"If it is so displeasing to you, perhaps you would find service more befitting of your station in a dumpster?"

Everyone froze.

Sabine was many things. Matronly. Firm at times when needed. Soft at other times when it isn't. Fully willing to stand up to people.

But she was never rude. And she would never insult anyone like this.

Enrique’s face turned red in growing rage.

"What did you say?"

“Are you deaf?” She asked him congenially in a tone and manner as if she was commenting on the weather instead of actively insulting the man. “Or is there as much trash filling your ears as there is your mouth?”

Tom gaped momentarily before moving forward to intervene. “Sabine, why don’t you just—”

“HOW DARE YOU?!” Enrique shouted, almost on the verge of a shriek. “I have NEVER been so insulted in my life!”

“Then clearly people weren’t trying hard enough.” Sabine shot back derisively. “If you aren’t going to take your needlessly complicated and pretentious order, then get out and let someone else.”

Gasps and murmurs resounded.

He turned up his nose. “I won’t pay a euro for that mess or your attitude! If anything, you should be paying ME at this point for the insult! And trust me, I WILL be making you pay!”

Shouts of alarm got Tom’s attention, along with the sound of wings.

“Oh no!”

And akuma had gotten into the store, no doubt attracted to Enrique’s indignation as it fluttered its way towards the irate man.

Except that in the second before the akuma could reach him and assimilate into his watch—

SLAM!

Sabine had caught the akuma in midair before it could reach Enrique, her hand covered in an old worn oven mitt.

Everyone jerked back in shock and growing horror.

But Tom just stared in sorrowful realization.

He recognized that mitt. It was one of the first things Marinette had made and gifted to her mother.

It was one of her few possessions that remained.

One that Sabine had refused to part with.

"No." He murmured. "Sabine. Honey, no.”

His wife couldn't hear him.

The glowing mask was indicative that it was already too late.

[l-egionaire]

She Loves Me Not- Chapter 1-An Owl House Fanfic.

Willow had had just about enough.

When she first realized Amity's obvious crush on Luz it had been somewhat funny. Seeing her serious and studious childhood friend being turned into a red-faced stammering mess by the human girl couldnt help but cause her to snicker. But after nearly three weeks of seeing Amity practically swoon as soon as Luz so much as gazed in her general direction and her friend still being almost painfully oblivious to her affections, Willow decided something needed to change.

She knew that if she just told Luz about Amity's crush, the witch would personally sic her largest abomination on her. So she would have to help Luz figure it out on her own. Which would be difficult as it seemed like Luz was especially dense when it came to Amity's feelings about her.

Case in point, when Amity leapt up from their lunch table with her face the color of blood and Luz's only response was "huh, guess something didn't agree with her." Willow was tempted to bang her head against the table.

Thankfully, she found the perfect moment while the two of them where walking down the hall and Luz had started talking about a new piece of Azura fanfiction she'd read.

"So then Azura pushes Hecate out of the way and takes the blow from the burning heckhound! Horrified by whats happened to her friend, Hecate is filled with rage and power and defeats the monster with one powerful blast of magic!" Luz swept her arm in excitement, just narrowly missing hitting Willows forehead. She chuckled nervously after noticing. "Sorry. Anyway, Hecate runs to Azura's side and cradles her in her arms. Hecate asks "why would you do that?" And Azura says "I couldn't lose you." Oh, it was just so romantic!"

Willow raised a brow at Luz's word choice. "Romantic?"

"Yeah. I mean, the author isn't really a Heczula shipper but the way they interact in the story just gives such a really strong romantic vibe. I tried telling the same thing to Amity but she said she didn't really see it."

Resisiting the urge to smile at the irony, Willow carefully asked. "So, Amity isn't really into romance?"

"Oh no, she's actually a HUGE Heczula fan. In fact she even showed me some really great fan art she'd done. I actually asked her about working together to make our own special Heczula piece. Marry our skills so to speak."

She could just imagine Amity's response to that. Still keeping her expression as neutral as possible, Willow pressed on.

"Speaking of Amity and romance, has she talked to her crush yet?"

Luz frowned. "No. And I don't know why. I mean, I get that she was afraid of being rejected but its Amity. She's smart, talented, cute. No way someone would reject her."

Okay, Luz calling Amity "cute" wasn't a bad sign. "Maybe its because she's already got a relationship with this person. You know, like a friendship shes scared of messing up."

Luz immediately struck a hand out in front of Willow and they both came to a stop. The human girl gasped like a banshee, practically sucking in air.

"Of course! She's developed feelings for a friend and now fears her romantic attraction will end up damaging their friendship if she reveals it! Its such a common romance trope, how could've I have missed that?!" She gave another loud gasp. "Ogmigosh. I know who Amity's crush is!"

Willow couldn't help but smirk. About time.

"Its you Willow! Amity has a crush on you!"

Willows left eye started to twitch and she internally groaned at her friend once again drawing the wrong conclusion.

Mustering up as much effort as possible, she calmly asked. "What makes you think that?"

"Well it all fits. You two were close childhood friends before suddenly being separated. You've started rebuilding your relationship which probably caused her to realize that her feelings for you went beyond friendship and because things only just started getting better between you she's scared of admitting her feelings because she doesn't want to lose you again!" Luz declared, looking extremely pleased with herself.

Okay, that actually made since. "Yeah. But you know Luz...that could also apply to you too."

Luz's pride turned to confusion. "What?"

"Well, you two only recently became friends after not liking each other and she might not want to mess up your friendship since its so new." Willow said slowly, hoping it would finally sink in to her.

Luz stared at her for a moment before bursting into laughter.

After a round of giggles, she wiped a tear from her eye. "Thats ridiculous. Amity couldn't have a crush on me!"

At this point Willow couldn't swallow the annoyance when she replied. "And why not?!"

She expected to hear "we're just friends " or "we danced at Grom" as Luz's defense but what she said next completely shocked her.

"Amity would never be interested someone like me."

Both the statement and the paradoxical chuckle Luz gave while saying it zapped away whatever anger Willow had at her obliviousness and replaced it with intense confusion.

"What are you talking about? Why wouldn't Amity be interested in you?"

"Because Amity is, well, Amity and I'm me." The way Luz said it, t as if it should be completely obvious, caused Willow to get a twisted feeling in her stomach. Before she could say anything Luz pressed on.

"I mean, Amity's a skilled witch, Hexsides top student, she's planning on being part of the emperors coven one day! Plus she's rich, popular, she makes great fanart. And me? I'm...barely able to do magic. And I can't even do it the right way like you guys thanks to my stupid human organs. I'm not even a real witch. I mean, if Amity had a crush on me, you really think she'd be afraid of me rejecting her?"

Willow just stared at her in stunned silence. She was waiting for Luz to yell "kidding" or say that this was just a joke and she'd known about Amity's crush the whole time. But the bittersweet smile on Luz's face told her that she was completely serious.

She couldn't believe it. Luz, quite possibly the nicest person she knew, the one who tried to help her with a school project at the risk of being violently dissected, the one who'd managed to get past Amity's walls and become her friend, honestly thought that Amity didn't consider her good enough to have a crush on.

"Luz, I'm sure Amity doesn't think that way." Willow argued. "You two are friends now! You have that book club thing you do together! She doesn't think of you as less than her! In fact, I bet if you asked she'd definitely say she would be interested in you!"

Hopefully that would kill two birds with one stone.

"I can't do that Willow. Like you said, things are good between me and Amity. The last thing I want is to scare her off because she thinks I got feelings for her." Luz looked to the side and muttered. "I don't want to end up losing another friend because I pushed too much."

Her voice was so low Willow almost didn't hear her. She couldn't help but notice her use of word in particular. "Another?"

Luz winced, clearly not having wanted Willow to hear her but seeing the look her friend was giving, she began to explain.

"Back at my human school I would sometimes manage to meet people who had some of the same interests I did, like Azura or Anime. We'd talk about it, meet up, it was almost like we were friends."

Luz sighed

"But eventually, I'd do something. Somthing too weird or too much. Maybe even something that ccidentally ended up getting us in trouble. And then...they didn't want to be friends anymore."

The whole time Luz spoke her voice cracked, and Willow noticed a twinkle in the corner of her eye. The defeated expression on Luz's face seemed almost alien compared to her usual beaming face.

"Luz.....".

Upon seeing the sympathetic look on her friends face, Luz cleared her throat, plastered a smile on her face and tried to unnoticingly wipe the corner of her eye.

"But, anyway, thats my point. Amity and I are at a good place and I don't need to go asking her questions that might make her uncomfortable just to make myself feel better."

Noticing that she hadn't managed to ease her friend, Luz added. "Hey, come on, relax. Its not like I don't think anyone could like me But Amity? Trust me, I think she's be a bit out of my league. Now come on, we should get to class."

"You go ahead. I'll catch up."

As she watched Luz walk away, their entire conversation replayed in her mind. She couldn't believe her friend honestly thought that way about herself. She truly thought she wasn't good enough for Amity to like.

Willow knew one thing, still felt like she had before. She'd had enough. She wasn't going to let Luz keep thinking like that about herself. She was going to do something about it.

And she knew just what that something was.

[fiore-rosewood9]

♫FrUk :D

Thank you for the ask, I will send a few songs that remind me of fruk, a whole playlist if you may, not only one song. I also touch a few of triggering topics as I explain the nations's personalities and relationships with one another so I apologize in advance if I upset/trigger someone and will put my trigger here - Warning - mentions of abuse, alcoholism, s*exual trauma. Under the explanation there is a playlist of songs that make me think of Ukfr/Fruk, so if anyone gets upset you can feel free to skip my general headcanons about fruk/ukfr relationship dynamics. There are too many songs that make me think of different characters or ships but I collected the ones that make me think the most of them.

I know the original song is by Lady gaga but this version is too sweet and cheesy for me so I chose the rock cover by the group Halestorm since I prefer it, it sounds more genuine and rough and kinda makes me think of the dynamic that ukfr/fruk has, that some people present is as just the enemies to lovers trope or them just fighting which is.....simply unhealthy????? Fruk is much more than that and I wish people would stop seeing it as a two dimensional thing, yeah they do argue on a lot of things and it is not the healthiest dynamic however it does work in my mind because they stick through thin and thick and that requires effort and true love since a lot of people nowdays do not take time to know the other person, they just jump into marriage and have a few divorces and just argue over everything and then separate, fruk is an off and on thing where they break and make. This kind of dedication is hard to find in today's couples. I know they're fictional characters and no one really cares but I practice my psychology skills and my knowledge of people around me, and I sometimes see people with similar or almost the same characters as fictional characters, they may not have all of their hobbies but they do act the same way. And certain pairs, no offence, just make me want to gag my self due to history with bad and toxic fans but if I look at it subjectivly and never encountered mean fans from a certain ship, I would say that they ship simply doesn't work. No ship bashing but as far as I know, people with this kind of personality from this ship that I dislike, and get upset when seeing fan art of, simply just do not get along and had a hard time divorcing, it is not only unhealthy and unbalanced, it is downright abusive because both partners seek control and to have the upper hand and this is not...what romance is about???? It is about two people taking care of each other, understanding personal space and boundaries, lifting each other up and yeah, they will argue a lot, sometimes for small things, sometimes for bigger things, but generally the point of romantic relationships is not someone using you, or abusing you financially and generally being better or bigger than you. This breeds insecurity and jealousy in the other partner and makes them feel inadequate. Usually such problems are not talked over and one of the partners acts passive agressive which is what ultimaltly leads to said divorce. So yeah, people can go away with their (BUT IT IS CUTE, IT IS SO FUCKING CUTE) pairing because real life pairings and how humans communicate and develop friendships and relationships isn't based on what your mind conciders and doesn't concider cute and there are lots of factors on whether relationship will ever happen like common interests, type personality, etc and just block me so I will never hear from them and their childish mindset ever again, which is why I blocked certain tumbrl fan art hetalia accounts who produce art of a pairing I (dislike) lowkey hate, for historical reasons, for manga reasons, for toxic fans who bullied me and made me go on 3 hiatuses reason and ultimatly in real life experience and psychology and how humans and the human mind works and what is healthy and unhealthy reason. Why should I support something where certain people have been hateful towards me and these same people that act like these characters and I know in my life are on bad terms in real life? Why shouldn't I just move on to something more realistic and more healthy, that I have seen that works with humans I know first hand? I am not a clinical psychologist and I have no power or saying in this but I had to write thesis and read books by psycholgists and analyze them in high school and my first year of Uni, in order to pass the year and I have also read reccomended books by a psychologist I went to because I wanted an advice on how to deal with my anxiety and talking to people, because my condition is extremely severe but I honestly feel stuck and try to improve but also feel confused, I sometimes feel like I am not doing enough to

self improve as a human. I sometimes come off as too cold or overly bitter and angry without intending to, and it sucks.

Francis is a really manipulative person and Matthew picked up that from him while part of Alfred's agression doesn't only come from confidence in his own abilities but the fact that England him self is an overly agressive person and is very dominant or at least used to be for a very long time, now he is more mild to keep his gentleman persona but he does suffer from severe anger issues which he hides while Alfred is prone to breaking things and screaming, Arthur is more prone to being rude, sarcastic and generally mean before he loses it. Matthew and Francis do not engage in fight if they can avoid it which is why sometimes people call them cowardly I think? And Matthew is a bit prone to being a codependent people pleaser as far as I see and he seems to have severe anxiety issues. Francis albeit charismatic and beautiful, is deep down in his core lonely.

I think that part of his pervertedness, shocking people with his s*xual humour and all of this sex obsession comes from trauma in his childhood and dressing like a girl. I wouldn't explain what the trauma in question was since it is not canon but I do headcanon that he had s*xual trauma and it is partly why Hungary dressed like a guy. I don't know if this is legit, it is bias from reading too much japanese fan comics relating to hetalia or just general history of humans and how they treated consent and what is moral today, wasn't amoral or against the law a few centuries ago, but I have seen artists touch on it. I think both Arthur and Francis suffer from neglect and they weren't particularly good fathers, in fact no country is, the whole FACE family is dysfunctional and while I love all of them, I kinda pity them. I think Rome was a bit discriminatory mostly towards France and never towards his other children while Arthur had to constantly prove him self and was bullied by his brothers. While other nations have suffered from trauma too (I headcanon that Prussia was burnt on stake and people threw rocks at him due to his albinism and being left handed) something similar happened to Arthur, who I headcanon that he was burnt for being a witch and Francis went a few times through the guillotine, or Arthur still having a bullet scar on his arm from the American revolution or Francis having nightmares from that day where Jeanne was burnt and waking up in his own sweat. Arthur also must suffer from workholism and alcoholism, judging by how much he works and goes to pubs to drink. Everyone chooses their own poison and how to cope with life and many use unhealthy coping mechanisms, hell, even I used unhealthy coping mechanisms a lot in the past and I am not proud of them, in fact, I try to improve.

I can talk about their history and how it relates to their mental health and what scars they have for hours but I would bore you. You came for a song and I am probably boring you so I apologize for writting a lot of words, in advance. I basically think that fruk/ukfr is the ultimate ship for many reasons because they click, I do ship spuk/engita/asakiku and many other things but fruk/ukfr is kinda like butter and bread, it is a great combination. I never said it is 100 percent healthy, however their relationship makes psychological sense and their personalities click. I know people like to present arthur as this dumb tsundere man that blushes and says baka, or he is this garbage rat dad that no one likes or francis is presented or at least used to be this perverted sex machine that touched other countries inappropriatly or at least the 2012-2015 fans saw him this way and while he still has the reputation of a pervert, what many young people in the fandom see as disgusting, I just see as an overly lonely man that just happens to have high libido and copes with it by having casual sex and just has a sex humour, the same way some people have fart jokes humour or darker, more cursed humour, I am really glad that fans mostly left off this whole - Francis is a r**ist and will grope you, in the past, because honestly r**e is not joke and as a character he clearly understands consent and boundaries and I don't think someone like him would do such a thing. Also Greece and Turkey have even higher libido than him and sleep around more, yet he is the ''pervert'', I don't get it??????????? but fruk is just so much more than opposites attract, they have a lot in common so I can't say they're full opposites, no one is truly. I have heard people ask why does anyone ship fruk when it is just opposites attract/enemies to lovers trope and I am honestly confused, because that is extremely rough generalization to say the least, it is like saying - All men/women are the same, it is simply wrong/uncorrect. I think they ''married'' five times - The Treaty of Paris (1657) formed an alliance against Spain. The Anglo-French Alliance (1716–31) formed another alliance against Spain. The Anglo-French blockade of the Río de la Plata (1845-1850). The Anglo-French joint invasion of Qing Dynasty (1856–1860). And the last one which is their official marriage The Entente Cordiale (1904) fought together in both World Wars. As far as I remember Francis tried to marry Arthur but he refused and why he refused is up for subjective opinion but I must write a whole thesis on why Fruk/ukfr works so well and people are not here for that, they're here for the music and I will provide. I also always saw Francis as the more gentle and more submissive partner, I just love to see him drawn in frilly beautiful dresses with bows and stuff and Arthur as the more dominant, I mean as a country he was a powerhouse during the 1600s-1800s and used to be a punkrocker, usually rockers are mentally tough and that man is extremely cunning and witty so...people drawing him as this useless baka uwu overly feminine anorexic boy that looks more like a tween rather than a 23 year old guy just assasinated his character in my opinion and it disturbs me but I am just some awkward human on the internet and no one values my opinion anyway because this is the internet and many people nowdays love to have hot takes and try to gain followers through clickbait stuff which sometimes goes out of control and everything just seems more fake and shallow to me, the more old I get.Okay that was my silly rant no one asked about but I feel really passionate about hetalia and Fruk/Ukfr. Anyway, I apologize again for my long rant and going all over the place, please enjoy this playlist

PLAYLIST WITH SONGS THAT REMIND ME OF FRUK/UKFR

1 - Halestorm - Bad romance - rock cover https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ll4NJs3NBIU

2 - Queen - Somebody to love - lyrics https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zj69iA_goIk

3 - ABBA - Voulez vous - (I know everyone chooses Waterloo and while waterloo is a fruk theme, I think Voulez vous works too) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fwcgMVXuBJc

4 - London beat - I've been thinking about you - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ixBryyQSrD8

5 - Santana - Smooth - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6Whgn_iE5uc

6 - George Michael - Careless whisper - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=izGwDsrQ1eQ

7 - Robbie Williams - Feel - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iy4mXZN1Zzk

8 - Michael Buble - Feeling good - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Edwsf-8F3sI

9 - Edith Piaf - La vie en rose - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kFzViYkZAz4

10 - Chopin - Marriage d'amour (Spring waltz) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EFJ7kDva7JE

11 - Vanessa Carlton - A thousand miles - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ERw2LuU6Jj8

[cobradoesmcyt]

Not just a game

@petrichormeraki has brought me angst ideas so I must write.

Quick little summery: It was all just supposed to be a game, and Grian sticks to this belief. At least he does until he can’t avoid the truth anymore

It was all a game. A fun little war, for the lols and the principle they’d all said with a laugh - diamonds being returned in letters and legal permission to further their schemes.

It was not a game. At least, it wasn’t anymore.

Grian had defended H.E.P’s actions as a part of the game, the Resistance had a base and now the H.E.P had one as well, simple. They spread the mycelium and they got rid of it, and placed grass instead. They sent out the sheep, and they countered with wolves. Simple, harmless fun, a turf war with no real meaning other than they just could. But then they infiltrated the new H.E.P build and suddenly the Resistance was starting to wonder how pure the other side's intentions actually were.

I mean who has a potion drugged ravager as their defence? Sure it’s good defense, but it's deadly beyond comprehension - and Tango knows this, yet he goes along with the plan, it's just a fun little game after all. And in the end Grian suffers because of it. Torn, shredded, crushed, bludgeoned, he goes through it all in a cycle, bed keeping him trapped in the death loop. Impulse and Etho desperately try to stop it, already knowing this is not an encounter Grian will get out of like it's nothing. Not only is that bad, but Tango is watching and he’s doing nothing, he watches the death loop and he laughs at Grian’s misfortune. That is the first time Impulse truly asks himself if this is really a game anymore - if anything it just seems like a twisted game of chess where they're allowed to think themselves in the lead, but in actuality H.E.P’s in charge. The dragon hybrid sheds a tear, because he knows he’ll never look at Tango the same anymore, not after he continues his taunts - playful and joking to any onlooker - even as Grian’s loop of pain and death goes on.

This is no longer a fun game between friends, it probably hasn’t been for a long time. And Impulse fears this will change Hermitcraft forever.

Grian suffers horrible damage from the repeated deaths, his spine has been weakened to where even just standing for a tiny bit too long will bring him immense pain, his lungs are horribly damaged after all the times they were pierced. He could no longer fly, grounded by the attack from H.E.P. Yet he says there is no true harm going on, it’s all just for fun!

Impulse doubts him, but there is nothing he can do other than warn his fellow members. H.E.P is out for blood. Grian’s blood. And they were willing to shed it however they deem it necessary.

So they protect him, protect not their leader but a wounded friend, from the enemy. Because that's truly what H.E.P has become, the enemy. And even after all the deaths, all the needless violence from H.E.P, Grian still believes it to be a game.

“They’ve just really gotten into it!” He argued with a cracked laugh, “They wouldn’t actually hurt any of us intentionally, we’re friends after all!”

No one has the heart to tell him he’s wrong, at least not then, to tell him the H.E.P has really gone too far this time. They know he won’t listen to them, too far into his belief that the H.E.P really don’t want to hurt any of them. That it's no longer just a game anymore.

Then Scar and Mumbo came blasting into the Mycelium Resistance base and suddenly the truth could no longer be ignored.

All the other Members managed to get out of the blast radius of the machine, but Grian - weakened from the Ravagers was not so lucky. A collapsing pillar trapped him on the side that H.E.P had breached. His fellow resistance members barraceded off from him.

Grian looked up at where Scar and Mumbo stood, both with gleeful smiles on their faces as they looked around the base, and his blood ran cold. Yet he prayed they were just happy they had found the base, and not at the damage and destruction they’d cused, but as his eyes met Scar’s he knew that was nothing but wistful thinking. Tears pricked in his eyes as he looked at his two closest friends, the two people he could always go to if he ever needed anything, a newfound terror and fear now filling him as he looked up at them.

This was no longer a game, he bitterly thought, it’s a hunt where he was prey.

Using what little strength he still had in him he threw an ender pearl towards the exit, Impulse meeting him there and catching him, and then he was pushed up through the water with the other not leaving his side once. Once in the ocean Impulse swam them both towards shore, Etho coming to help the two when he emerged. After that they all ran away, or rode away in Ren and Grian’s case - since Grian could not fly or much less move.

Grian had said there was a hidden room in Town Hall they could use, but no one in the Resistance wanted to risk being so close to H.E.P. So instead they headed way off, to lands not visited or lived in. None of them were ready to face H.E.P or anyone else right now, not so soon after the attack.

The whole way Grian satt numbly behind Ren and thought, thought about H.E.P and its members. Were they all out for them, like their leader and newest member, or was there some who weren’t? Tango-he was pretty sure Tango was on the same extreme as those two, the warehouse had proven that. Cub and Bdubs too probably, they were the most loyal to Scar after all. And Xisuma too he was so violently against mycelium as well, though he didn’t seem as violent and loyal as the other two. False and Keralis were both mysteries to him, as they both didn’t seem to be as extreme as the rest, but still who could even be trusted to not be against him anymore?

He let out a shaky breath and rested his head against Ren’s back, small tears silently starting to fall from his eyes. Hermitcraft was his safe place, a sanctuary he could heal within. But look at what it had turned into, him running away from his “friends”.

“Ren?” He tentatively called. And after seeing that the wolf was listening to him he continued, “Are-are they still our friends?”

Ren rowed silently, thinking the question over in his head. Finally he sighed. A sad, defeated, sigh of a man who just didn’t know anymore, “I don’t know G-man, I really don’t know.”

Days later H.E.P would come looking for them, curious as to what had become of their competitors. But they would not find them, not now and not ever. Because the Resistance had been found once, and they were not going to make the same mistake twice. Though Impulse did come to the Hermit meeting a few weeks later, much to Tango’s excitement. But the fire elemental stepped back in shock when the taller brunette growled at him, and Zedpah moved to his side in an instant. Though Impulse could care less about them now (no matter how much it hurt him to look at the two, he just couldn’t help but remember the ravager and Tango’s taunts from that day) his attention was fully on Scar.

“This started as a game between friends, something to have fun with and laugh about.” He spoke camly, a deathly calm tinged with ice, golden eyes hard with the same ice, “And you have made it a war between enemies.”

Cries of outrage came at his words, protest from H.E.P and Hermits filling the air.

“It’s not a war!” Bdubs argued, “As you said it’s all just a game.”

“A game does not make someone question if you are still friends or not!” Impulse roared, slamming his hands down on the table, causing totally silence, “It does not permanently scar or hurt anyone! It doesn’t not make someone terrified of you! A game wouldn’t warrant running away and hiding the only option!” Tears now fell down his face, all the emotions he’d kept at bay finally slipping past his defences, “It-it doesn't make Grian’s pain into something funny, his pain and health just something to brush off. He shouldn’t be considering leaving for real!”

Impulse looked from Scar to Xisuma, “Get your acts together, H.E.P, or you might just be a few Hermits sort soon.” And with that he left, not even looking back as Tango desperately pleaded with him to stay, or H.E.P calling out to him for answers.

But he would not budge, would not turn back to look at them. Because he knew if he did he might do more than just scream at them. They all had it coming, of course, but he’s leaving that for Etho to deal with.

Later that night Scar sat in his office thinking over the events of the past few days, “I’m not the bad guy, am I Jellie?” Said cat mewed at him, a paw on his leg as she looked up at him, “Of course I’m not! I mean it’s all a game and I really just couldn’t tell the other side wasn’t having fun anymore. Right? That’s all it is, right?”

Jellie sadly bumped her head against Scars leg, a mournful chirp leaving her. She could smell that something was off about the man, but she couldn’t pinpoint what exactly it was.

Diamond blue eyes looked out at the shopping district, any hints of leaf green in them being overtaken by the blue, “Yeah, I’m not the bad guy.”

[kekoma]

— hinata as your boyfriend.

for the simps who like this life size orange. hope you enjoy.

me oh my, he’s sweet like apple pie.

hands down one of the sweetest people to have as your boyfriend.

however i do wanna put out, there’s no doubt... hinata is inexperienced when it comes to dating.

you’re most likely his first official girlfriend.

reason i say official is because he may have dated a few times (literally 2, maybe 3 times) back in middle school, but would you really consider them a relationship when they ended fairly quick?

AND we all know the only thing on this boy’s mind is... volleyball.

so dating in general was never a true thought in his mind until you came around.

most definitely asked noya, tanaka and coach ukai about the feeling he’s experiencing when you two weren’t together yet.

probably won’t ask for advice on how to approach you since his personality naturally draws you towards him and he’s able to take care of the rest. 

really don’t think he’ll be a huge stuttering mess around you but hinata will probably blush and trip up on his words just a bit.

besides the whole crushing stage, boyfriend hinata is a truly a ball of sunshine.

constantly loves to compliment you whenever he gets a chance.

“you look beautiful~”

“hm? you tell me that everyday silly.”

“well yeah! i want you to know that you’re always gorgeous to me.”

will never let you be insecure about your looks.

literally finds you beautiful no matter what. you could literally wake up with your hair all over the place, somewhat puffy face and etc.— dude is already in dream land thinking about how cute you are.

don’t try arguing with me about this because it’s true. i refuse to be WRONG.

definitely the type of boyfriend who checks up on you. 

and i’m not talking about the occasional, every few months; “hey, how are you feeling?”

shoyo CHECKS UP on you. every few weeks, he’ll ask about how you’re feeling, what you’re doing and etc.

he deeply cares about you and always wants to make sure you’re doing perfectly fine along with the fact, he wants to make sure the relationship isn’t causing any tolls on you as well.

it’s not like hinata causes any issues within the relationship since he tends to avoid inflicting any stress on you but he just wants to make sure you’re still satisfied with your relationship.

or seeing if anything he has done made you feel some type of but you just didn’t bring up. 

which brings us to the fact... arguments between you two are very rare.

he doesn’t like fighting with you nor does he like seeing you upset over something he did that wasn’t on purpose.

but if you two do end up fighting then he’s going to take time to reflect on the issue at hand, talk it out with you, apologize and mentally keep a note of the mistake that was made that day.

besides that and going back to the checking up part, if you’re ever having a bad day then be prepared for your supportive boyfriend to use those motivational words of his to get you back up and running.

and don’t think about hiding it either because he going to figure it out regardless.

hinata doesn’t ONLY observe volleyball and rivals, he studies you too since he refuses to be the kind of boyfriend who’s blind to emotional signs that you aren’t okay.

but if you’re the kind of person who isn’t interested in hearing him talk and want to be left alone then he understands.

won’t leave you alone though but he’s going to end up comforting you physically (if you allow him to) and wait until you’re ready to tell him what happened so he can proceed to uplift your spirts again.

most likely... you have better scores than him when it comes to school so be prepared to help him out.

he might complain just a bit yet he won’t pass up the opportunity to have you as his tutor and spend more time with you.

remembers some of the information you’ve taught him, promoting him to do better in school.

yet beware when it comes to study dates. shoyo may be listening sometimes but his eyes won’t hesitate to drift off, admiring and studying everything on your face rather than the information.

definitely the type who likes to FaceTime often if you aren’t able to come see him/he isn’t able to see you.

and yes. falling asleep on ft is apart of his package deal. just don’t think about hanging up because the end call sound will wake him up quicker than anything.

useless he had a tiring practice then go for it— he won’t even notice.

he can be a bit smothering but if you’re someone who isn’t into all that then tell him.

he’ll cut down on it and give you more space.

heh don’t be shocked when he asks you to set for him.

“come on babe~ just a few! it won’t be long. i promise.”

“you said that the last time and we spent roughly 12 hours doing the same thing.”

“what if i offer to buy us ice cream after.”

“only if i get to eat some of yours too...”

“deal! now come on.”

“you’re lucky i love you.”

pda freak.

let me say it again. PDA FREAK.

not even gonna separate them (public and private) because he carries the same energy in both departments.

not ashamed if the team gets on him for it because at least he has a girlfriend who he can touch and love on.

plus his love language is through physical touches anyways.

so be prepared for those smooches at random times, hand holding, cuddles and all that good stuff.

side fact: not pda but you’ve met his little sister and mom— they both you. it’s to the point, they’ll ask if you’re coming over and constantly ask him how you’re doing.

you’re already the apart of the family and there’s no escaping. (although why would you.)

probably been waiting for this one but shoyo always invites you to his games along with practices.

get extremely excited when he spots you in the crowd too. almost to the point you start to become concerned for his checks from all that smiling.

loves when you give him compliments and assurance that the relationship is perfect.

something about your praises gives him a boost, also makes him feel like satisfied that his efforts of keeping you happy is working.

there’s no need for you to ask him do to the same because hinata is a simp.

he’s leveled from the simp card to the CEO of simps.

can’t change my mind about this. no no non. 

hinata the ceo of simps and you’re number one simp at that.

it’s evident in the way he talks about you to his friends/teammates, the way he texts you and even with the way he looks at you.

he truly only has eyes for you too btw.

vv loyal and he just can’t see him being happy with anyone else but you anyways.

now nicknames.

of course the typical ones, babe and baby, are in there but he also likes to call you; cutie, lovely, his star and sunshine. 

mainly it’s just a lot of cutesy nicknames and he’s always testing out new ones to see if you like them as well. 

as for dates.

there’s no specific energy to them. meaning they’re not constantly energetic or super super chill.

shoyo is the kind of boyfriend who wants to try every and any kind of date.

sticking to one concept is just boring to him and he doesn’t want you to get bored either which is why he’s tries new things.

even going as far to create his own such as making a scavenger hunt that lead to you both to a rooftop that has it’s own mini garden and lights all set up with food on the table.

dudes creative when it comes to dates (and again, no arguing with me about this because i firmly believe he goes all out for you... even if he’s inexperienced— still giving it his all so it’s memo for the both of you.)

could literally go on and on about this lovely life sized orange but i’ll end it here.

dating hinata is worth it and each waking moment with him could never be regretful.

we stan and love boyfriend hinata over here.

© all content belongs to kekoma 2020. do not repost, modify or translate.

[deerth]

my first mistake in witchcraft

yes i’m going to be petty over religion for a second here.

i have been slowly inching out of the broom closet as i now consciously move on from the atheist mindset to the pagan one. i was looking for more resources to research my path, and i ended up on a witchy server... woe unto me as i try to fit in once more, for it seems that not even witches are unified.

forget about all that shit about garden, cosmos and whatever witches. the religion actually broadly branches into two practices - Wicca and regular witchcraft. so you are primarily the one or the other, no matter what flavour of ritual you practice.

the primary difference between Wiccans and general witchcraft is your belief of whether religion can be used for harm or not. in short, Wiccans state “an it harm none, do as ye will” (as long as you don’t hurt anyone [including yourself], go bonkers), therefore you will not find Wiccans casting curses or hexes. we know the responsibility of our faith and we know that if you radiate bad vibes, it will come right back around to bite you in the ass later. that said, most Wiccans don’t mind witches who do curse or hex. some cultures use practices like voodoo, and even old eastern European practices were not free of rituals that were made to directly interfere with someone’s will (love spells that were supposed to make someone love you). therefore, a disclaimer: I’m not anti-hex. I would not use a hex because I feel that hate will not solve hate, and as long as you’re an adult, I trust you know what you’re doing with your power. maybe you are of an oppressed culture and have good reason to exact revenge on someone who severely hurt you, especially if you have a long-standing tradition of hexes. even Nina Simone sang “I Put a Spell on You” (albeit this is also a love spell). I know curses and hexes and even spells affecting with another’s free will are an inherent part of witchcraft and I won’t deny it. I follow my doctrine, you follow yours, that is fine by me.

what is NOT fine with me, however, is propagating hex culture among minors. why? because minors are not ready to take on that responsibility!!!! just like they are not truly ready to make healthy decisions about sex, alcohol or other substances, they cannot take true responsibility over causing harm, be it spiritual or otherwise. “what’s a little hex do?” you might ask, if you’re a minor. not to sound like a boomer, but when I was 16, I was edgy as fuck. I hated everyone while claiming to love everyone. I was in NO correct mental state to make decisions about the aforementioned things. even without casting any hexes, I made many mistakes. big ones. I hurt a lot of people. yes, I regret it all deeply. I wish I had thought things over rather than stay stubborn. in fact, most people under 20 are not ready to enter discourse, drama or a vicious cycle of hatred purely because it will always turn into “all bite but no bark”. I purposefully say it that way because although youngsters are admirably spirited and ready to take on the world... they often bite off more than they can chew. I see girlies straight out of high school trying to solve huge problems like racism, and although, again, admiring these young people, they have researched their stuff. to an extent, they know what they’re talking about... but I do believe hate will not solve hate.

one of the moderators of said server retaliated with it not being a universal truth, and claimed my take to be “unverified personal gnosis” (what is a verified gnosis, anyway? how do you measure it? especially in a practice like witchcraft where every bloody individual practises it differently and there are no priests or churches?). if the moderator happens to read this and wishes to elaborate, i’d be welcome for a bit of constructive discussion over what is and isn’t personal gnosis. I acknowledge that “hate cannot be fought with hate” is not a universal truth... that is perhaps where I went to the extreme. but believe me, I did not say it to be holier-than-thou. I was actually shocked to be called out by not one, but two moderators on my behaviour, instantly. I did not read in the rules that one would be forbidden to state their opinion or softly disagree, but perhaps it is so and I did not pay enough attention.

there comes another food for thought: is it possible to socialise without being opinionated in any way? would shutting down opinions truly prevent conflict? because I’m feeling very bitter and left out now. I know everyone on that server is not Wiccan. but to get slapped in the face right after I attempted to be friendly (laconic and feeble as that was), among who I considered to be my own people... I feel conflicted. now mind, I’m not going to leave witchcraft behind. it is my religion, and thanks to this experience, I learned that Wicca is the right thing for me. I don’t want to advocate for violence and a vicious cycle of hatred. my grandfather was Romani, therefore I believe I know a thing or two about mislabeling and hate enacted upon minorities and outcast people. does that mean I want to kill and hex every white in sight? the answer is no. if anything, me being both Wiccan and Romani, it would just add fuel to the fire. especially because Romani are stereotyped as evil witches in the first place, so it would be a double suicide. by propagating violence, I would give these people more reason to hate pagans and Romani people. both cultures are already feared and hated upon as it is. I am not going to give people more opportunity to hate me.

coming back to the minor I disagreed with in the server. I was shocked that the first thing that came to a teenager’s mind was a revenge hex. it screams of naiveté and irresponsible behaviour towards your faith. and not JUST your faith. as I am a student of psychology, I am well aware how mind patterns work, and here’s the funny thing: psychology has proven that witchcraft’s law of returns is somewhat true, not on a magickal level, but on a mental one. if you ponder over violence and revenge excessively, you are reinforcing those neural pathways in your brain. there is a reason why they say “hate breeds hate”. it is the same reason why depression is so hard to deal with. anything you obsessively ruminate over reinforces it again and again until escape seems impossible. I’m not only speaking as a witch, I’m speaking as a human being. is it correct to propagate petty violence among minors when we as adults can do better and guide young people to better paths?

I’m not saying young people shouldn’t use hexes. but I am questioning their ability to take on the responsibility of potentially hurting someone, or even just thinking of hurting someone. you plant a seed of hate and it may just grow. you knock on the devil’s door enough times and he will answer (disclaimer: I’m not Christian either, I just like the saying). soon there shall be nothing left but hate. if the person in question had not been a minor, I would have left it at that. but religion is sacred. a witch’s magick is essentially making something important to you sacred. it’s not a plaything. it’s not to be used light-handedly. it’s not a trend. and hexes should be the last resort if all else fails OR the person you hate has a damn good reason for being hated.

is it wrong to vote for love and peace? yeah, I sound like a hippie, but I think they’re right. love was not born from continuing to fight each other - love was born from unity, from coexisting. how does one fight racism? psychology says see more poc, interact with them, understand their struggles. how to fight religious fear? spend time with people of different views. how to get over homophobia? spend time with the gays and try to understand their views, and like, actually understand them. spending time with someone just to berate them is still bigotry. the interaction I mean here is coexisting with minorities in a shared space and them slowly, but surely becoming more accepted and normalised because we finally see them. even a bigot can’t stay a bigot if they are brought out of isolation. if they’re forced to see people different than them.

unfortunately, not even your own faith can comfort you sometimes, mostly because the community is still divided. there are rules on what should and shouldn’t be done, and woe upon thee if you dare to even peep one of your thoughts. I merely said thank you and sorry and left, as I always do when I feel misunderstood. it was a valuable yet harsh lesson, and I regret hoping for acceptance or even offering me a moment to be understood without being shut down without a second thought. I regret hoping for a little discussion where it is seen as a violation of rules.

again, as long as you are ready to bear the responsibility of harming another, do whatever you want. as a Wicca, I prefer staying benevolent and kind, even to those who traumatised me. you might argue that this essay in itself is not benevolent... after all, Wiccans don’t slander people behind their backs, you might say. but it is not my intent to slander. it is just me expressing sheer confusion over what I expected to be a community to hear out all voices, because why have a community at all if you allow for no discussion? do we shut off discussions entirely in fear of fights? but alas, it is human nature to be opposed, but it’s also human nature to still hold hands despite the differences - one just needs to acknowledge it.

blessed be.