#but you know what i’d enjoy more? a good fucking adaptation of this book!!

[sleevebuscemii]

hollywood execs really spent millions of dollars on a production to find this out when i could’ve told them this for free

[bluesadansey]

Top 5 fairytale remakes!

•Blanca & Roja by Anna-Marie Mclemore I highly reccomend all the books I’ve read by them, When The Moon Was Ours and Wild Beauty aren’t directly inspired by any one fairytale as far as I know but are fairytale-esque magical realism tales and Dark and Deepest Red is a retelling of  Hans Anderson’s “The Red Shoes”. I also did just start reading Lakelore but it was a library book and my flight to move back to college is tomorrow so I had to return it. But I love all the books I’ve read by theknand this is my favorite one it’s a Snow White and the Red Rose retelling. I absolutely loved the two sisters and how their dynamic was written and explored, the writing is gorgeous to me. 

•Deathless by Catherine M. Valente I read this book in high school and at the time it was a challenge so I definitely need to reread it however despite me maybe not being mature enough at that point to grasp everything in the story what I loved about it, specifically the main heroine Marya Morevna and how much I adored her and her arc really stuck with me. And again, beautiful writing style I need to read more by this author (I did read her book Refrigerator Monologues but it didn’t land for me in the same way and other sff things she’s written look more my speed so I should get on that ). it’s a Koschei and the Deathless retelling and I would say out of the death and the maiden related stuff I’ve read it’s one I’d recommend above others. 

•The Lunar Chronicles by Marissa Meyer hard pivot xd, these are very popular so I’m sure you’ve heard of them sci-fi futuristic fairytale retellings of Cinderella, Red Riding Hood, Rapunzel and Snow White primarily. It’s been literal ages since I read these (I remember anticipating the release of Winter in 8th grade and then lending it to my irl friend after I was done with it that long) but at the time I was so into them. I would definitely want to reread these before the animated series comes out (which I hope is successful not just because I’m fond of tlc and would like to see it adapted well but in a long-game sense I think more ya series adaptations should be animated series. More specific long game the tlc series doing well is how I eventually get a faithful Daughter of Smoke and Bone animated adaptation (delusionalcoded). Also, want to state for the record I thought Fairest slapped. 

•Girls Made of Snow and Glass by Melissa Bashardoust I remember really enjoying it’s a Snow White retelling. I remember picking it up because I heard it was wlw Snow White but it was the Queen and the Princess character’s fucked up mother-daughter dynamic that made an impression on me over anything else in the book, and I remember they made me cry in a scene towards the end.

•When Water Sang Fire from The Language of Thorns by Leigh Bardugo. This was a collection of grishaverse fairytales she wrote and most of the stories I read and forgot about but this is the last one in the collection and it’s lived rent free in my mind since I’m not joking, I think the anthology is worth reading (if you like the grishaverse) solely for this one story. It’s inspired by The Little Mermaid and the character it’s most focused on is the Ursula character Ulla Morozova (yes Morozova as in half-sister to the Darkling) who is a song-caster/siren of sorts and it’s about her codependent homoerotic best friendship with another mermaid that ends tragically and is her villain origin story it had no right to make me feel as many things as it did, again after the previous stories were relatively mid (Leigh’s my bestie so I can slander her works that aren’t as good as what she’s capable of I have a right <3)  I was so caught off guard by how good it was. 

Tysm for asking <3

(ask me top 5/10 of anything)

[kierancaz]

Ok so I just watched episode 5 of the pjo show and honestly I might get dragged for this but I have some very real criticisms of it that I want to share. And if you enjoy the show that’s fine, I’m enjoying it to but at the same time I have a lot of issues with it and want to talk about it because I think being able to be real and critical of stuff that you like is important.

I think I’ll start with the pacing because that’s my biggest issue with it rn. It is moving so fast it feels like it’s just doing the spark notes version of the book. And ik we are all on the train of adaptations not having to be exactly like the book anymore, (which is literally just a thing that came about bc of this show and if it was any other show to book movie I think ppl would have a different tune but that is an entirely different conversation that maybe I’ll talk about later because I find it very interesting tbh), but the show is cutting out a lot of stuff that I feel was very important to the characters and in the books. I don’t know if this us because of the episode count or the episode length of if it’s the right, maybe it’s all three, but I feel like because the pacing is so fast the story is just breezing past a lot of emotional beats.

Which brings me to my next point. I have not felt a single thing watching any of these episodes. In fact I felt more about this show when I watching a single clip from episode 5 on TikTok than I did while watching the actual episode even at that clip. The show is so bad at building tension for literally anything. And I know everyone hates the movies and all that but the movies scene with Mrs Dodds had more tension and life than the scene did in the show. And I’ve heard people dispute “oh Percy has been seeing stuff all his life he probably thought that this was just that and didn’t realize it was real” but that has nothing to do with this. Why didn’t Mrs Dodds lead him away from all the other students? Why would she attack him in broad daylight when she’d aware that Chiron and a satyr are there? Or even if she didn’t know Chiron was there if she knew there was a demigod there she should’ve at least suspected the presence of a satyr.

The chimera fight was also very disappointing. Now I don’t remember exactly how this fight went in the books or in the movies but I don’t need to remember to know that this fight as equally tensionless and emotionless as the Mrs Dodds fight. And yah, they’re kids, it doesn’t need to be some epic battle or anything, but there should be tension. We should feel a least a little nervous even if we know what’s going to happen. Ngl. I don’t even know what to say about the Medusa fight bc I don’t even remember what happened. I don’t remember what happened in the books when it came to Medusa besides Percy cutting off her head and sending it to the gods. I’d definitely have to reread the books again before I comment on the change of theme surrounding Medusa and like half of the main theme of the series because Rick did some serious reconning with this stuff but unfortunately my books are lost somewhere in my basement.

I do think the Minotaur fight was fine really good though. The bond between Percy and his mom was built up really well and it was pretty devastating with that last scene between them. You could really feel the impact that Sally’s “death” had on him. However, it was so fucking dark it was hard to see half of what was happening and I’m gonna talk about that more later.

The next thing I want to talk about is the acting/casting. And before anyone says anything this has nothing to do with Annabeth being black or Percy not having black hair. Their characters feel flat and honestly I think that if it’s anyone’s fault it’s the directors and the script. I’ll use Walker as a reference because he’s the only one I’ve seen in anything else, in The Adam Project he was brilliant. Like there were multiple times where his performance alone had me in tears. That movie had me ugly sobbing at least three times and Walker was definitely part of the reason why.

In the pjo show he just feels… dull. And a tad bit lifeless which is baffling. How do you even make a character like Percy Jackson that, I’m sorry to say but, boring. Even the movies managed to give him more personality than the show, and I genuinely hate to say that but if I had to rank all the Percy’s show Percy is at the bottom which is so hard to say because Walker is perfect for this role but still he has more Percy Personality in that Kraft Mac and Cheese ad that he did with Ryan Reynolds. I do realize that part of this could be because we don’t have Percy’s inner monologue, sorta like what happened with Harry in Harry Potter, but there are ways to combat that like having a character be more expressive and stuff and that is also just not happening.

*(Also if anyone of curious my Percy Ranking goes 1: book Percy, 2: musical Percy, 3: movie Percy, 4: show Percy).

Speaking of expressiveness, Leah as Annabeth is also very disappointing because in her interviews she seems so Annabeth and I can see why Rick choose her but in the show all of her lines are delivered the exact same and the most emotion we get from her is a pinch of her eyebrows. And it’s a similar issue with Walker because he doesn’t emote that much either and neither does Aryan so I’m definitely thinking that it’s an issue with the directing instead of the actors. I don’t have much to say about Aryan. He’s ok, he has the same issues as the others of just not having a lot of emotion or very good dialogue/line delivery but again I don’t think that’s his fault and instead the direction of the show.

Listen I think they’re all incredible and the chemistry that they have in interviews is amazing. But the fact that I can see more of their characters in interviews than the actual show is insane, especially because it’s so obvious they all care about their characters and the world of Percy Jackson so much that I think if they were left on their own they could do this show perfectly but someone behind the scenes is stamping down their performances for the sake of the show taking itself too seriously.

Charlie and Dior were both great for the screen time they had. I mean not much to say about them tbh bc they didn’t have that much screen time but Dior’s scream after her spear was broken was literal gold. Adam Copeland as Ares was amazing and Lin Manuel Miranda as Hermes is quite possibly the worst thing that they could’ve ever done.

I know a lot of people were praising the change they made with Annabeth and Percy’s relationship and how that instead of disliking each other because of their parents they disliked each other because of bad personal impressions. But honestly I have to disagree. If I remember correctly Annabeth disliked him because he was son of Poseidon, and Percy disliked Annabeth because she was rude to him. And to me that made perfect sense because Annabeth was literally being indoctrinated by the gods/what they teach at camp for years/half her childhood why wouldn’t she hate Percy based solely on the fact her mom hates his dad? And I think that was actually kind of important as a character trait and I’m pretty bummed it was changed. (Ngl tho like I said earlier I haven’t read the books in a long time so I could be wrong about this, I’m just basing this off what other people have said about the beginning of their relationship in reference to the show and the books).

Also going back to what I said about the lighting ‼️SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 5 ‼️this really pissed me off because so many shows do this and it only started becoming a real problem in recent years. In episode 5 when Percy and Annabeth are entering the amusement park it is so goddamn dark I could not see what was happening. I have no idea what that machine over Percy’s head at the entrance was or looked like. I don’t know why it made him so scared because I could not see it. I could not see their faces as they were talking. I could literally barely see where they were when they panned out to show them walking through the amusement part and this makes no sense to me. You have this huge elaborate set that I would really like to see but it is so dark the only things I can make out is a ferris wheel and maybe a bumper car? I could not see shit, it was so annoying and so many new shows do this where the scenes at night are just so dark you cannot see anything. And I get that sometimes it’s intentional, you’re not supposed to see what’s going on, but this is not one of those scenes so why am I having such a hard time finding our main characters?

I really need to reread the books again and when I do I will add more to this probably or just remake the post. But so far I think the show is really mediocre and pretty disappointing, and I think it’s important to point this stuff out and not just heap piles of praise onto the show just because it’s written by the og writer of the book. We’re definitely going to get more seasons and I would like those seasons to be better than this one and actually let the actors shine and for the show to reflect what was so amazing about the books. Also, I just want to say that there are moments/stuff that I like about the show and as critical as I am of it it’s because I like the series, not because I’m just trying to be a hater. But seriously, I used to hate the movies with every fiber of my being but because of the show I have a new found appreciation for them, which I think that in and of itself says a lot about how the show has been so far.

[gffa]

Buncha scattered thoughts about trying out some different TV shows and whether or not I’d recommend them so far: - The Last of Us, with only a basic understanding of the plot of the games, I’m otherwise going in basically blind on this one and I’ve been enjoying the HBO adaptation a ton so far!  Very much at the top of the “if you’re looking for a show to binge and don’t mind horror and sad stories, TO WATCH” list!  The chemistry of the characters and the stunning scenery and well-paced scenes makes it thoroughly watchable. - Shrinking, I’ll give pretty much anything Bill Lawrence produces a shot (Scrubs, Cougar Town, Ted Lasso) and I’m charmed from the first episode.  You’ll always get fun banter and funny dialogue, but I’m already engaged with the characters because he has a way of writing snarky characters who still have a ton of heart.  The therapist’s hot mess of a life is offset by how genuinely he cares about his patients, openly and honestly.  I am a sucker for people who banter but aren’t afraid to put their heart on their sleeve. - The Light in the Hall, which I can’t talk about without spoiling the ending, but I wound up disappointed by this one.  The story is fairly predictable and the acting is top-notch, but I was frustrated by [redacted] being the only [redacted] and of course they end up being the murderer, all in service of making a woobie out of the [redacted].  It left a bad taste in what was otherwise a strong show. - Poker Face, I am not Rian Johnson’s biggest fan, but I like his work a lot more when he seems to be writing a love letter to a genre that he wants to pay homage to, to build a tribute to it, rather than subvert it.  I like that it’s quirky but keeps a lid on the amount of it, it feels like it’s having fun with the concept of this version of Columbo, and it knows that you’re here to watch Natasha Lyonne do her thing and it loves watching Natasha Lyonne do her thing, too. - His Dark Materials, which I love the adaptation, having never read the books it still feels like you can tell they were adapted with love and it works as a coherent storyline.  The actors are incredible, each of them are great on their own, but then having fantastic chemistry with each other, and I’m very taken with the themes of the story, around religion and knowledge and free will and independent thought.  Sprinkle in that the main character gets to be an angry, often messy, often very loud about her feelings character, and I’m in. - The Price of Glee, I went into this one hoping that it would at least be something of a tell-all about what went on behind the scenes, because I bet that would be fucking wild, given what we already know.  But after the first episode and skimming the later ones, it seems to be focused more on (as the title suggests) how much it cost these people to be part of it.  Which, you know, fair.  But not quite what I was looking for, so I’ve set it aside for now. - The Owl House, 10/10 no notes.  It’s been so satisfying to see a lot of character arcs come to fruition, even if the season has been massively truncated.  Luz’s struggle between which world she wants to stay in, the maturation of her relationship with Amity, the reconnection with her mother, all of that is fantastic.  The acknowledgement of Willow’s feelings and the support she gets from her friends, Hunter’s willingness to open up about his own feelings, also so much good.  Worldbuilding bits and pieces with the Collector and that I’m already engaged with wanting that poor kid to have better influences, yeah, that’s the stuff. - Three Pines, which I mostly picked up because I like Alfred Molina and he is indeed very charismatic and warm in this series, which has some pretty scenery and a very cozy feeling.  I’ve never read the books this is based on, but it feels like the show very much knew that it wanted to be a charming little murder mystery series with a connective throughline and it was exactly that.  I wouldn’t call it light-hearted, it has some lovely emotional weight, it has characters who very openly care about others, but I would still say it was a very warm show. - Avenue 5, which got off to a bit of a rocky start in its second season for me, but by the end of it, I was enjoying the absolute flaming trainwreck the whole thing is and how, when you lean into the chaos along with the show, it’s pretty hilarious.  I love the characters and I want to know where it’s going from here, I’m going to be so pissed if HBO doesn’t renew it for a third season. - The Sex Lives of College Girls, I enjoyed the first season of the show enough to binge the whole thing and I liked the girls’ friendships with each other and it felt like there was a lot of heart here.  I don’t know what happened with the second season, if it’s me or the show but nothing felt like it was clicking anymore and I finally had to drop it.  First season is adorable, totally worth watching as a stand-alone show!  Second season, idk maybe others liked it more than I did! - Criminal Mind Evolution, I was willing to pick this show back up again because I still have fondness for the actors and the characters, but after two episodes I had to rage quit.  The writing just isn’t working for me, its leaning into everything I grew to be frustrated with or outright hate about the original and even a character like Garcia’s warmth feels forced and unearned.  Dropped and will not be going back.

[mdhwrites]

I Am Getting Tired Talking About the Designs

It is the main thing outside of Clois that I see talked about with My Adventures With Superman. I’ve even seen someone call the show’s style so far as ‘hyper realism’ because of how they’re doing the villain designs which... *stares at the person until holes bore into their skull* And here’s the thing: I don’t mind people complaining about the villains technically. The fact that both Livewire and Slade feel kind of samey next to each other doesn’t help the fact that the show is struggling to give its villains time to shine. They risk slipping into a territory where they feel there as a part of the mandate of this being a superhero show rather than interesting entities unto themselves and I’d be okay with people talking about that.

Or how about the fact that so far none have had a REALLY good or interesting fight with Superman so far? Ivo is the best on both fronts so far but otherwise we’ve see Clark grab someone’s fist before responding with an attack three times now and one of those was against a robot. The only one he hasn’t done it to is Livewire and she doesn’t exactly punch, does she?

I had my brother bitch at me yesterday, if you don’t want to talk about the villains, about Jimmy’s stuff needing a little more fleshing out if he’s suddenly going to be mopey about the two getting together, especially after pushing Clark and Lois towards each other at first. That isn’t an unfair complaint and even in my last review, for as much as I liked the episode, I still admitted there were issues and lacking payoffs, especially with Jimmy. There are issues. This isn’t a perfect show, though nothing should be perfect because perfect is boring. It probably does need to take a breath though because while it is shockingly well paced, it is juggling a lot at once and it is concerning for when one of the balls may drop.

But like... Unless they’re just fundamentally getting the character wrong with no chance for growing into their design, can we just stop bitching about them? Parasite from my knowledge was originally a dude who was fucked up by an experiment and went “Well, they can’t cure me so I guess I’m evil” which is way less interesting than actually having his personality and his personal goals be parasitic to some extent so that they match his powers thematically. I’ve heard Livewire is a cocky, annoying bitch. We all remember the “Smartest person here” banter, right? That bitch with real powers, and irreversible powers as was foreshadowed by her veins, is going to be INSUFFERABLE. And Slade? The fucker is twenty years younger, minimum, than his comic counterpart and has both eyes and his battle suit in the title sequence fits his aesthetics so maybe cut him some slack because his cocky attitude now is clearly setting up for a GLORIOUS fall.

Of course, this is all assuming the show does well by these characters but at least right now they definitely have potential to become like their comic counterparts, especially with the question of how Silver Banshee is getting her screams back after Clark broke her mask.

So unless you complaint is more than “I want them to look exactly like my comic books!” maybe let an adaptation be, you know, an adaptation. I mean, so far the show fits exactly how DC has marketed itself since... I dunno, from what I hear the New 52? Especially in television because *gestures at all the DC movies* so I might not be a comics guy but I absolutely see why DC was okay with this as the rights holder because this is EASILY the most interested I’ve been in literally ANY of Superman’s rogue’s gallery. And no, I’m not a comic book guy but I see people comparing the two and you know my response when people bring up the differences in design? Most of the time I’m curious. Like what is Siobhan like when she looks like some genetically altered mutant or just a straight up alien of some sort? What’s the backstory there? But I also enjoy the cocky, wanna be supervillain of Siobhan in the show with her glam rock hair and raspy voice.

But I will admit that I don’t know the pain of adaptation too well. The closest I’ve come is stuff like Guardians of Ga’Hoole (which frankly is a shockingly good movie for how much of a mess adapting that series to anything would be) and Percy Jackson, where I only bitched about Clarisse because making Annabethe Clarisse was both more boring and narratively pointless because Clarisse is KIND OF IMPORTANT to the second book of that series, bare minimum.

Nothing here strikes me like that and if you disagree... Let me know. I see adaptations like this as a chance to both enjoy something and learn but frankly, EVERYONE bitching about the designs and nothing else is just making me tired and that’s making me not want to learn which means afterwards, I won’t dig deeper which isn’t that what you want as a fellow fan of the character?

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I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead, If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

And finally a Twitter you can follow too!

[onegianthotmess]

✨Amelia’s Peachy Blog Rules✨

Hello to all of my fellow weirdos! Welcome to the hot mess that is my blog! Here, I will establish my rules and the fandoms I write for and will talk about with all of you!

But, a small note to add before we start is that I will not tolerate any sort of hatefulness or rudeness on my blog towards myself or anyone. This will be a free space to debate and discuss opinions and for people to feel safe and comfortable. If you do not like what I post or reblog, please just move along and go about your day without even sparing a glance at my blog.

Also, if I post anything of my own, I will not tolerate it being taken and edited without my permission or reposted without my permission, but reblogs are greatly appreciated. Thank you and I hope you have a good morning/afternoon/evening/night/overall day and stay safe out there!

I Will Write:

🍑 “X Reader” to the best of my abilities (Maybe some OC inserts if I’m up for it, it’ll depend what is requested of me)

🍑 “X Reader” will always have a female or gender neutral reader as I am a female myself and am not comfortable writing for a male reader, but I will do a gender neutral reader if that is requested of me

🍑 Fluff

🍑 SOFT Angst to Fluff (I’m an emotional, sappy wreck, can’t handle hardcore angst)

🍑 Family/Domestic Headcanons

🍑 Romantic Headcanons

🍑 Overall cuteness

🍑 Little Space (Little space is sort of a thing that some people use to destress like me or cope with trauma by mentally aging down to a headspace or age that is younger than they actually are and sometimes some people, either good friends or a romantic partner or someone else, act as a caregiver towards them. It’s not like an adult being attracted to a child in the case of a romantic partner, but rather an adult attracted to another adult who regresses)

🍑 Some suggestive content, depends on what is requested of me

I Will Not Write:

🍑 HARDCORE Smutty Smut

🍑 Character Deaths

🍑 HARDCORE Angst

🍑 Pedophilia (Fuck off if you came here for that shit)

🍑 Incest (The fuck is wrong with you people? GET SOME GODDAMN HELP IF YOU INTO THAT!)

🍑 Little Space smut (If it’s your little space, you can do what you’d like, but I’m personally uncomfortable with writing this kind of thing and I’m going to keep that boundary in place.)

🍑 Anything to do with racism, homophobia, transphobia and just discrimination against anyone in general. This is a safe space for people to enjoy some nice fanfiction, not to be haters and to be hated on!

Fandoms I Partake In:

🍑 MHA/BNHA (I have not finished the anime nor the manga, I don’t have any services to watch it, so no spoilers please!)

🍑 IkemenVampire (I might try out a few more Ikemen games, so be aware of that)

🍑 IkemenVillains (I’d like to be in the middle of a William and Ellis sandwich. That will be all-)

🍑 Fruits Basket (Haven’t watched the third season, in the middle of trying to rewatch the first two because it’s been so long)

🍑 Demon Slayer (I AM READY FOR SEASON FOUR, BABES!!!)

🍑 TMNT (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Specifically 2012, Bayverse, Rise, and Mutant Mayhem)

🍑 HTTYD (How to Train Your Dragon)

🍑 MK (Mortal Kombat. I was a late 2000’s baby that grew up playing MK9 as my first ever Mortal Kombat game, so I don’t know the full cast of characters from previous games, but I have a good list of characters and story from earlier games in my head from the videos I’ve watched from my wormy brain hyperfixating on Mortal Kombat)

🍑 Harry Potter (I’ve only watched the movies, but I have seen videos about the books, so I do know what the books were like, to an extent at least)

🍑 FNaF (Five Nights at Freddy’s. HOW TF HAVE I GONE A WHOLE MONTH WITHOUT ADDING THIS?! WELL, NOW I HAVE ADDED IT, IN MID-NOVEMBER OF 2023!)

🍑 Mariolore (It’s these cosplay shorts by this amazing cosplay couple named DinoBunny that are a sort of a spin-off of the Mario franchise, but with its own unique story involving adaptations of the characters and different events based on what happens in the original story/franchise. I watch them on YouTube, just in case that is relevant to how much of the story has actually been released)

🍑 Resident Evil (I’m not too well versed on the overall story, but I know the story from the RE1 Remake, the RE3 Remake, the RE4 Remake, the RE4 Remake DLC: Separate Ways, RE7: Biohazard, RE8/Village, and RE8/Village DLC: Shadows of Rose. I just know, in summary, that Umbrella Corporation bad and pulled some fuckery with the T-virus and bioweapon shit, the Connections are bad and made bioweapon shit, Mother Miranda pretty much started it all in hopes to revive her daughter, and Rose is doing some shit working with Chris Redfield who helped to raise her in honor of Ethan’s dying wish during the whole village incident. I’ll try to get better versed on the story and characters in the future, but that is all I know at the moment)

🍑 My Happy Marriage (Anime watcher! No manga reading here yet!)

🍑 Lemony Snicket’s A Series of Unfortunate Events (My fifth grade teacher read the first couple books to me and my class while also showing us the Netflix series to show the differences between the two and make it more fun. I ended up watching the whole series as it progressed outside of school and was partially traumatized by the episode where Sunny almost died from a fucking fungus. That scared the shit out of me, but it’s still a damn good series if I do say so myself.)

🍑 Poppy Playtime (I find it an interesting concept and I may write something for it at one point!)

🍑 Sofia the First (It was one of my favorite shows as a kid and I’m so sad we never got a continuation of the story to see them grow up! ALSO I’M SO FUCKING MAD WE NEVER GOT SOFIA AND HUGO’S WEDDING!!!)

🍑 Komi Can’t Communicate (Komi Shouko is my wife. That’s it.)

🍑 The Way of the Househusband (Anime watcher!! And I think Tatsu would be such a cool and funny dad with all his yakuza lingo!)

🍑 Monster Prom (Haven’t seen any other full playthroughs, I’m watching a Monster Camp one rn, and I wanna makeout with Damien and gossip with his little sister that he DEFINITELY has because I fucking said so, fuckers-)

🍑 Buddy Daddies (You know that scene where they’re running away into the woods while Rei shoots back at that guy’s goonies?? Yeah, I wanna do that with Rei because I love him and want to take care of him while also forcing him to learn household chores!)

🍑 Yuuri!!! On Ice (I’VE FINALLY GOT CRUNCHYROLL ON MY PHONE PEOPLE!!!)

🍑 I’ll add onto the fandoms list if anymore come to mind

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Thank you for reading my rules and I look forward to your requests! I hope you enjoy your journey on my blog, fellow weirdos! Have a peachy time!

[altschmerzes]

book club with gav! book 2: reputation

reputation by sarah vaughan

i picked this one up from the bookstore because i recognized the author, having watched and..... decently enjoyed the netflix limited series 'anatomy of a scandal' which was adapted out of another of her books. i didn't want to just read anatomy of a scandal because i'd watched the series, and i wanted to enjoy a New Story. i liked the look of it, it seemed to be dealing with some elements that i find really compelling - courtroom drama, political drama, social and journalism media, etc. reputation on the whole is something i'm a little obsessed with. thought all that sounded cool.

OVERALL IMPRESSION: gang it is not good. this is not a good book. the writing style was in DESPERATE need of an editor, with details that seemed irrelevant peppered all over, overstuffed bloated sentences that confused what was being described and why, etc. it also had a habit of utilizing a narrative trick that i think can be very fun if it's used effectively and sparingly. (i've used it myself actually, and i try to apply the same approach - use it sparingly, and make sure that it works enough to justify it.) it's this sort of like- there's probably an actual literary term for this, but it's like. retrospective narrative commentary on what's happening, 'i.e. i wouldn't know until later how bad of an idea that was, it was naive of me to trust him, at the time i believed him, this would come back to bite me when, etc'. this book used this so fucking often that it didn't just foreshadow future events including twists, it just. flat out told you what they were all going to be, leaving you able to predict beat for beat what was going on like 75% of the time. the povs were ineffectively deployed, and half of them didn't need to exist. the timeline jumping was fun for me but i can see that it would be hard to track if you weren't specifically watching it like i was. i didn't like the characters. any of them. the protagonist was infuriating and not in a fun way. and the overall promised thing that was the most compelling about the dust jacket - the way it stated the protagonist "is a liar" played out in the most boring way possible. the most interesting information came at the very, very end in the last, extremely short portion of the book that was effectively an epilogue, and it wasn't set up well.

now. in order to contextualize my thoughts about this book it is necessary to like..... go into a plot synopsis. it’s an EXTENDED plot synopsis. so that and my thoughts will be below the cut. general cw for this book that it's a murder mystery, so there's that, and this discussion of it will include brief and nondescriptive references to a mentioned suicide (we don't even know the character, he's related to a very small side character), revenge porn and nonconsensual nude pictures that are nonconsensually distributed, and some discussion of sexual assault/predatory relationships.

plot summary! so the plot of the book can be summarized this way: protagonist, emma webster, is a member of british parliament. she's a labour mp. she's an advocate for women's rights and feminist issues specifically, and has a current agenda about an anti-revenge porn bill. because of her advocacy, she sees a LOT of online harassment and threats of a truly vile nature, and some twitter threads and social media posts are included in the book. i love this sort of thing (the media threads), but i wish they'd done more with it. she is divorced and has a 14 year old daughter. her ex-husband is remarried to a former friend of hers from when she was a teacher. she is working with a specific journalist on this revenge porn bill. she lives part time in a home in her constituency, and part time in a home she shares with two other female mps close to parliament in london. events go down as follows, though i'm not 100% clear on the timeline, because this book had 45 plots. - protagonist is getting threats, she thinks her daughter is unaware of them, is mostly brushing them off while also being super intensely freaked out about them - daughter is having trouble at school: she's being bullied by an ex-friend who among other things has an instagram making fun of her - protagonist has a particularly angry and frightening interaction with a scary man from her constituency who's mostly mad he thinks she doesn't care about veterans issues because she doesn't talk about or campaign on them - threats she's receiving amp up, she starts to get texts direct to her mobile - she is freaking out constantly about her security and whether she’s safe at home. thinks every man she sees is going to throw acid in her face, which is both reasonable as a fear (genuine heightened threat to female politicians) and unreasonable as a fear (white women who consume too much true crime and think every single person in the universe is personally trying to serial kill them specifically complex). - she fucks the journalist and then immediately is like hm i should not have fucked that journalist, immediately ends the relationship and basically ghosts him, they don't even work together professionally after that. - the morning after she fucks the journalist she finds out daughter has taken secret nudie pics of her ex friend in order to teach that ex friend a lesson about...... being a bully and also too proud of her body? i guess???? and sent it to the boy her ex friend likes. the police are involved. it could be a child porn charge bc both girls are 14. the boy is 16. - this is gonna be really fucking bad for the protag and for daughter if it gets out to the news, especially given protag is campaigning against revenge porn and uh... well... this is similar enough it's gonna be hugely bad. - protagonist is obsessed and anxious to pieces about the possibility of this leaking - the daughter isn't actually charged, she just sort of gets suspended from school and then sent to another unit in the school for problem studentsTM. literally this is all of the consequences the daughter sees for her behaviour. that’s the whole thing. - threatening texts are persisting, protagonist thinks Angry Man Constituent is stalking her, bc he is, we see this in... his pov for some fucking reason - journalist lets protagonist know that he's been tipped off about a story involving the daughter that they can't print for legal reasons but if she works with them, they can spin it well - protagonist flips shit - she then concludes journalist is also stalking her. his paper posts pictures of her taking the trash out and is like She Seems Stressed! she takes this as an indication that he personally and specifically is stalking her and hates her and wants to take her down and ruin her daughter’s life, thinks there is a coded message in the article about her daughter. - journalist turns up dead (he's badly hurt in her home, dies in hospital) - protagonist goes on trial for his death - she initially tells the cops and her friends and Everyone that she came home and found him at the bottom of the stairs. turns out this was a lie. she pushed him. trial is basically on whether it was murder or self defense. - trial occurs, she is acquitted, important detail we learn is that the journalist got a message from a FB account he thought was her inviting him to the house. big part of the trial was that he was just There when she got home and she thought he was there to like. attack her or smth. - things we learn after the trial in the last like, 40-ish pages of the book: - the angry man constituent comes to the trial and yells at her when she's acquitted that his son (a vet) has died by suicide, and is then arrested and given a non-contact order - the threatening texts were not coming from him, they were coming from her daughter's ex-friend now-bully's mom? i guess? - her daughter is the one who sent the message inviting the journalist to the house in her mom's name. she wanted to talk to him, convince him not to run the story because she figured it was on her to handle the situation for some reason. - journalist got "x-rated" photos from a former university lecture section tutor of protagonist from when she was like 19 and in a sexual relationship with him (a pretty predatory one it seems) that will destroy the former tutor now-professor and political pundit's reputation (which would be a good thing, he sucks). this will also be devastating for protagonist (bad, yikes, bro, no). he wants to offer to protagonist that if she will work with them on that story, which will also prop up the point they're making together about her anti revenge porn bill, he will bury the thing with the daughter entirely. - this is what he was coming to talk to her about that day, and this is why she pushed him down the stairs. because she did. it's made clear in the last bit that she very much did Panic And Murder Him. - the reason the daughter didn't get there in time to be there first, why the protagonist got there first and this all happened, and there was so much confusion over who invited him there and why and all that, is that her train was delayed bc of. the constituent's son's suicide. whoof. - the step-mom knows what the daughter did. - none of this....... ever comes out i guess? it all kind of fizzles. that's it that's the book.

oKAY. now for: my thoughts.

fuck this book sucked so bad.

it was so distracted. it could not decide what it wanted the plot to be, or what it wanted the twists to be, or what they wanted to focus on, and it made all of its contents so much more muddled because of that. i was so thrown by the angry man constituent because literally the only relevance he actually ended up having to the story was as a direct case representation of the way the protagonist was being harassed and stalked and that his son's suicide was what delayed the daughter from getting there before the protagonist got home and found the journalist there. WE GOT HIM AS A POV CHARACTER. WHY? WHY DID WE NEED THAT???? all the stuff with the daughter was so unclear too? everyone here is an unreliable narrator which is fine but the way that they were unreliable was so like....... confused and muddled and nonspecific. did the daughter and the protagonist drop the ex-bff when protag got elected and ice her out? did ex-bff stop talking to the daughter for no reason and then get mean to her For No Reason? i have genuinely, honestly, really no fucking idea. and it's all like this. two characters will have wildly different perceptions of an event or a string of events, and there is NO clarity on which of them is right. which like, i'm struggling to articulate my issue with this, because that's a narrative choice you can make, but i think it does a disservice when we just... all of them are like this? they're all the same amount of unreliable, which makes it completely impossible to tell who actually IS unreliable, and there's just no way to know what actually fucking happened in this fucking book. i like an unreliable narrator. i don't like not knowing what the hell happened in a book like. On The Whole. there's no follow-through. there's no contextualization. there's no way to anchor any of it to reality. it made me nuts.

the protagonist was self-centred, sanctimonious, boring, and non-committal. there was nothing likable about her, either as a person or as a protagonist. she took so little action in her own life, and there was like... the lying that i was promised in the dust jacket didn't pan out in any kind of interesting way. she lied about finding the journalist at the bottom of the stairs when really she pushed him, but this is revealed so fast it barely matters, and the rest of the book has two small instances of what seems to be her misremembering minor interactions with other characters and saying something didn't happen when it did, and then being Seen As A Liar because she. lied about the initial finding the journalist. and then i guess not disclosing the things with the pics of her and her ex-tutor but... it just. didn't pan out in a way that was at all interesting. everyone else also sucked but it was never clear how much? the daughter's step-mom was like everyone thinks of me as the Other Woman and it's not fair 😠 and the journalist was doing some shitty journalism things though nowhere near as much as protagonist thought and the daughter did some shitty things too and never had any kind of sympathetic impression to me.

there was what i referred to often as like, milquetoast girlboss feminism all over this book. it was STEEPED in it. the whole thing was like, a thesis on how dangerous it is to be a female politician, which, yes! this is SO true! but it had nothing to say about that reality except that it exists, and there was also like... idk it felt very like, this is a perspective and landscaped shaped by White Girl True Crime in a lot of ways? she was obsessed with her own risk and this was never examined in any way. a lot of it was legitimate and real and a lot of it wasn't. she thinks every single person she interacts with is out to get her- specifically every man, which okay, i can get that. but also like... it caused her to lash out at everyone she knows, freak her daughter out, be unreasonable and cruel to her roommates. she had a simultaneous need to think she was two seconds from being murdered at all times and also to act to everyone around her like everything was fine, while also expecting them to take every concern she had immediately seriously at defcon 1. this was never unpacked. she wore a well behaved women rarely make history shirt in the second paragraph, talked about The Trolls all the time, and the book quoted harry potter in the daughter's section. it made weird and uncomfortable choices with race, when it engaged with race at all. just. overall hm.

here is an example of the way that race is dealt with here, in a section where the protagonist is about to be cross-examined by the crown prosecutor.

lot going on HERE huh! and it is all completely unexamined. yikes!

and then there’s this - the only other time when a character is identified as a person of colour. it’s a very uncomfortable thread where the like. it girl, most popular kid in school who the protagonist's daughter's friend abandoned her to suck up to is the only other identified character of colour in this book aside from this prosecutor and the daughter is repeatedly - REPEATEDLY - referred to as, and i’m directly quoting here, “an english rose.” she’s just so pale and thin you see. that’s why she’s so bullied, you see. because she’s so so so white. and so so so sooooooo thin. qualities well known to cause bullying in high school students- anyways. here’s the description of the most popular girl in school. who the daughter’s friends abandoned her for.

once again! YIKES! LOT going ON here! let’s unpack some of it shall we! (putting aside some of the... cringeworthy attempts at a grownass woman trying to emulate the slang of current day 14 year olds. i know it’s been eleven years since i was 14 but “bae-girl” is Nothing and im embarrassed for her just reading it. a lot of her Teen Talk has sounded good and natural but this is NOT it and her texting slang was atrocious.)

anyways. so. idk how it plays off to have your protagonist’s redheaded extremely pale skinned “english rose” daughter set up to be the target of social ostracism and bullying because her friends all chose trying to get close to the school’s super popular It Girl, who is described Like That. i think Not Good! not that there are never school hierarchies that fall down these lines but way these descriptions are presented and the language around them plus the whole “you an author are making up the social landscape here and are making some questionable choices villainizing a “confident, mean, hard” brown girl in contrast to the sensitive and delicate extremely pale white girl”” thing is like……. there are choices being made and i don’t like them.

and then there’s the ex best friend herself. who the daughter took the creepshot of and sent it to the boy the exbff likes. who is described like this (content warning for some SURPRISE! fatphobia as well!)

Flora hated her for this. She hated her for being so comfortable with her body. Despite her rounded tummy and the fat bulging over her bra, she liked herself enough to parade around the changing room, her double-Ds shoved up, her head tilted to one side.

i would like to remind the court at this time that this is the same ex-bff who is apparently basing a large part of her bullying campaign on how So So So THIN this girl is. because you know. the fat girl bullying the thin girl for how thin she is - another famously common high school social dynamic. you know how fat girls rule the school and thin girls are just so- sorry i can’t even stick the landing on that sarcastically lmao. again. not that things never shake out this way but 1. this is an author making choices and doing zero critical engagement with them, 2. this is playing into some bad shit and i hate it.

there are so many other things i could get into here. i have so many examples of sentences that were written so, so badly. i have so many specific moments that sucked ass. but i would keep going forever if i didn’t stop, i just want to leave on one last note: it’s not that the protagonist was a shitty person. it’s not that bad things happened and no one saw proper consequences. it’s that like- it’s that none of it was intentional. she sucked and i don’t think she was supposed to, at least not that much. i was promised a protagonist who was a liar. that was not what i got. i got ONE lie and two instances where she seemed to either mildly misrepresent or misremember a specific conversation she had. i got Poor Protagonist, She Told One Little Panic Lie And Now EVERYONE Thinks She’s A LIAR! Poor Baby! i got milquetoast girlboss white girl feminism that was completely uncritically presented. i got ‘everyone is out to get me all the time’ and this was given as a perfectly reasonable thing to believe and act on not ‘the real danger she faces has warped her worldview and she either needs some serious help or to find another career, as it is causing her excessive amounts of distress and she is lashing out at everyone in her life without consideration for their feelings or experiences or fears. ugh.

anyways. forthcoming are the two (2) shining lights from this book aka moments that were so fucking ludicrous they made me laugh hysterically. but that’s a separate post that i’ll make in a moment.

[klqrambles]

So I finally watched Dorian Gray (2009) and I have never watched a movie that made me feel so many feelings at once.

I feel I should mention from the get go that I had heard many things about it before I started watching, mostly about how it was not a very good adaptation of the book. And I agree, as an adaptation of the book I felt so many things none of which were particularly good. As just a general movie, I’d say it was ~7/10 for me personally. Love me some guys in suits so there was that LMAO, but otherwise parts of the plot felt… underutilized? Basil’s idolatry, Sibyl’s whole deal, and the whole I want to repent plot line they made felt like it was there for a second then just gone. Which is saying something considering Basil’s idolatry is like a Main Part of the Book.

Onto characterizations because I have a bit to say about this. Overall, I think the Dorian isn’t as bad as people made him out to be, personally. Like I know a big point of contention is the way he looks, but I think he works fine as a Dorian? I think he acted the part fine, in the beginning being an innocent little guy who doesn’t know better to hedonistic littol shit with a violent streak. I’ll come back to the stuff with Emily laterr. One thing I can’t forgive though, is that they let Dorian drive. You cannot convince me that boy knows how to make a decent left turn without hitting a pole.

For Basil, loved the actor but didn’t love the characterization. Basil being so open about his art, especially of Dorian, felt wrong? Especially the scene with everyone looking at the portrait and him being proud of it and all that felt so weird to me it completely took me out of the movie for a hot minute. Overall, Basil kinda felt really ancillary to the plot, just there to paint portrait and be killed. My favorite thing about this Basil, though, was his relationship with Henry. Somehow I really got the vibes of two friends so sick of each other it’s a wonder how they’re still friends but they are because they also find each other sickeningly fun to be around. Ben Chaplin as Basil felt pretty good though. He got the nervous painter energy down pat.

Now Henry. Henry. Henry fucking pissed me off. Not in a bad way though? I absolutely hated him but I kept wanting to see what other fucked up shit he’s going to try to do? In the beginning I hated and loved him with equal passion, but by the end both petered out into just kind of, ambivalence. He got old. I got kinda old of him not really changing as a character. Until the end though. At the end I really enjoyed the whole confrontation and the path leading up to it where Henry used his wits to outdo Dorian. Just overall really wildly mixed feelings about that guy.

Sibyl I felt meh about. She was done well I think, but changing the whole motive for her death felt not great for Sibyl, but I could see what they were trying to go for in Dorian’s story so eh. I also hc her as really bubbly and open so to see her more demure and shy threw me for a loop.

Now. Emily. I personally don’t particularly like the introduction of Emily. Or no, I was fine with the introduction of Emily as a person to potentially put Dorian on the “right path”, it was her falling in love with him I didn’t like. I think them staying friends would have been perfectly fine, or even Dorian feeling unrequited feelings for her would have been interesting, but them falling in love and Dorian “trying to be better” and still absolutely failing is what irked me ig. I think I just really wanted him to find someone to like without having to bed them to show him genuinely trying to “be good” or “have a conscience” or whatever. (And I don’t think the idea is “having sex is bad” but “having sex without thinking of how it could affect the people around you in a negative way is bad” and that’s what Dorian does with Emily. He takes her as his wife regardless of how Henry feels because he’s exactly the same fun guy.) Henry could still feel plenty threatened by Dorian’s existence around his daughter that leads to the final scenes without the shtick being marriage. Idk it just feeeeels not great

Just wanted to talk about how I felt about the movie overall again, cause it was wild. For the first 30 minutes of the movie, for some reason I had this unyielding sense of “something’s wrong” that I could not pinpoint (and don’t think I can until I do like a second watch or something) but I THINK it had to do with how off I felt about Basil’s and Henry’s characters. It really felt like the writer had taken the plot of tPoDG and shifted it two steps to the right. The big moments were happening, but something about them are unexplainably w r o n g. Basil getting a funeral was not expected and deserved for Basil, but him never getting one and continuing to be missing was something I really felt was integral to his character? But I am a fan of “Dorian disposes of the body himself” and “Henry gets to see the corrupted Dorian and it Fucks Him Up” plot points so that was fun.

Do I think this will in any way affect the way I characterize the Dorian Gray cast? Not likely. Do I think it’s a decent movie? Yea. Production was good, costuming was good, acting was good. As a movie it was okay. Do I think people should watch it? Yes, if only to understand half of what people are referencing when they talk of tPoDG. Do I want to see more Dorians with dark hair and dark eyes? I don’t see why not! I personally think the dark hair and dark eyes means you can’t look innocent shit some people say is a scam. However, if it’s not someone’s cup of tea that’s their choice. And wishing for a more canon-compliant Dorian is also fine. Just… that phrase specifically makes me smad. But now I’m rambling

Tldr; Dorian Gray (2009) is not a good adaptation of the book at all (imo) due to missing some key plot points, but a decent movie. Will probably watch it again to see if my opinions about it change.

[xbuster]

I know that you didn’t like Guardians 3 (I personally loved it even though I don’t really like superhero movies anymore), but I’m curious as to what your thoughts on James Gunn’s work with superhero stuff before it.

To be more specific, brief thoughts on Guardians Vol. 1 and 2, but more about your thoughts on The Suicide Squad and Peacemaker.

I did watch Guardians 1 and 2, but I actually haven’t seen The Suicide Squad and Peacemaker despite being a DC fan.

I really loved Guardians 1 when it came out, but I was also like 15 and I was at my height of MCU interest. Since I never rewatched the movie, I don’t know how well it holds up or if I was just in the right mindset to enjoy it. I’m sure it’s still a fine movie, but the comedic parts of the movie might not be as enjoyable now that I’m tired of that kind of humor. Like Guardians 3’s humor was genuinely awful, it was one of the least funny movies I’ve seen in a while and it makes me wonder if Guardians 1 actually was like that too. The villain was forgettable, but Star-Lord and Rocket were fun. I liked Groot too. Didn’t like Drax or really care for Gamora though. So I’ll say that I DID really like it when I saw it, but that was nearly a decade ago and I’d have to rewatch it to give my updated opinion. It set up Thanos, which I thought was cool, until they really introduced Thanos in Infinity War and I realized he was nothing like his comic book counterpart, so I stopped caring about him.

I have less to say about Guardians 2 because I don’t really remember much about it besides Ego. I can’t remember any of the jokes besides a vague feeling that I found Drax even less likable. I also couldn’t be bothered to care about Groot anymore. I thought the baby Groot thing at the end of Guardians 1 was cute, but I was hoping he’d be normal again. The new Groot was lame. Idk Ego was alright, I guess. The twist that he killed Star-Lord’s mother was a good one and the most memorable part of the movie. I just… don’t know why they called him Ego. Ego is a living planet, not a Celestial. Like… just make a new character at that point. I used to be really interested in seeing how the movies would adapt Marvel characters, but that’s just not Ego. At all. It was just a more forgettable movie over all besides the Ego stuff.

Now, I didn’t watch The Suicide Squad because I didn’t really like the first one. I realize it’s completely different and Starro’s in it, so maybe I should give it a watch eventually because I would like to see Harley Quinn done right for once. If she’s actually handled well in that movie.

On the other hand, I didn’t watch Peacemaker because I don’t really watch any live action superhero shows. I tried watching Agents of SHIELD when that happened, but it was so boring that I gave up quickly and never bothered with other Marvel shows or even the DC ones for that matter. Like I’m a huge fan of the Teen Titans (from the comics), but I didn’t even watch Titans despite that having my favorite hero, Nightwing, in it. Neither have I seen any of the recent Superman shows despite being a big Superman fan. Maybe I’ll try one if someone can really sell me on it, but I just never bothered with Peacemaker for that reason.

So over all, I have like a middling opinion on James Gunn. Like Taika Waititi. Some of the stuff they make can be entertaining, but there’s just as much stuff they put out that I just don’t care about and it mostly stems from an over reliance on a style of comedy I just don’t find funny anymore. Like oh the subject of Waititi, I tried watching Thor: Love and Thunder because, despite not really liking Ragnarok or any of Thor’s movies, Thor was one of my favorite superheroes from Marvel when I was reading more Marvel comics than DC, but I couldn’t finish the movie because it was just SO. BAD.

Sorry this was a lot, but there’s just a lot that goes into how I feel about Gunn’s stuff after about a decade of watching his Marvel movies. I just really hope he doesn’t fuck up Superman. I’ll never forgive him if he does. Don’t just make Krypto a vehicle for unfunny jokes…

[twenty-words-or-less]

Top 5 Best Films of 2021

I promised a top 5 of 2021 and here it is. Severely delayed, I know, but I’ve been trying to do other things with life and the days just got away from me. There will also be a More button on this status but I’d really appreciate if you guys gave the entire post a shot and not just scroll away. Cheers! Anyway, here it is, with the general theme of “yeah, this surprised me too!”:

5. Another Round (Druk)

Very dry, darkly funny Danish drama which manages to condemn as well as celebrate the drinking culture that seems to have a grip on North Europe as a whole, which is kind of interesting. Fun fact: the original title roughly translates to ‘Binge-Drinking’, something as blunt as the film itself.

4. Malignant

The kind of film made by someone who said “hey, my last film made you $1bn, can I have some money to do the thing I REALLY want to do?”. Basically an hour and a half of batshittery improved by a very divisive twist that [REDACTED] and I enjoyed very much.

3. The Suicide Squad

The one film I definitely saw coming with regards to it being on here. It’s exactly what one would expect from a James Gunn movie: dark comedy, people literally having a blast, a soundtrack consisting of songs one hasn’t heard since they were a teenager (looking at you, “Whistle For The Choir”). Can also confirm that it is just as good seeing it sober and in IMAX as it is seeing it drunk in standard definition.

2. West Side Story

Absolutely thrilled to have this here considering my attitude towards this film since seeing the teaser in May. Everyone fits into their characters as comfortably as if they are regular performers, and it manages to define itself as being an adaptation without caving into the ’61 adap and being its own beast. Highlight is 100% Rita Moreno singing “Somewhere”, which absolutely destroyed me. It would probably be number 1 were it not for the guy who played Tony, whose name I don’t want to say in case he materialises in my living room and starts mauling “Something’s Coming” in front of me or some shit.

And now, the honourable mentions (which were surprisingly hard to pick) in no particular order:

In the Heights: Did slightly drag over the last half hour or so, and I cared more about the secondary romance than the main one. However, god DAMN is the songwriting tight, the camerawork fluid and coherent, and the one-two of “Paciencia y Fe” and “Alabanza”… whoof.

Annette: It, uh, sure is a film. I don’t know how to talk about it without sounding like I’m giving it backhanded compliments.

Candyman: A beautifully shot gem which, like 2018’s Halloween, took a risk in being a belated sequel. However, it also has a solid cast, the themes were well-executed, and the shadow puppetry was devastating. The cut to the scene with the girls in the bathroom was hilarious, too.

Encanto: Lin-Manuel Miranda’s had a fucking good year, hasn’t he?

And finally, top of the list…

1. Dune

I enjoyed it a LOT more than I expected, and not reading the book beforehand didn’t hinder it. Great cast, great music, and meme-able, which is always a good thing. The pacing was also even and the visuals beautiful. Very Villeneuve, very much what I imagine reading the book is like. And between this and Call Me By Your Name (which I watched when ill with Covid), I’ve come to the conclusion that watching something in which Timothée Chalamet has a prominent role is stressful because PLEASE can somebody feed him? Please?? Thanks.

And that concludes the top 5 of 2021. I’m not doing a full-on bottom 5 because I’m exhausted by negativity, but I’ll just do a summary here: Halloween Kills exists, Spider-Man: No Way Home & The Matrix Resurrections were let-downs, Escape Room: Tournament of Champions was annoying and unnecessary, and Old made me want to punch a fucking wall.

Thanks for reading!

~Mikey

[carriagelamp]

I’ve had a pretty fun summer of reading so far! I haven’t had as many chances to just zone out with a book as I’d like, but what I have had has been exactly the sort of healing I’ve been needing.

Animorphs: The Message

I know this series has come up on a previous book roundups, but I continue to (very slowly) work through Animorphs. It’s one series that I had never gotten to as a kid — I saw it all over the place, but I found the covers rather unnerving so I never gravitated to it. And after a certain point I simply felt too old. I’m glad I’m finally reading it because Katherine Applegate continues to be an undeniable genius and this series is already knocking my socks off, and I’m only four books in. What’s not to enjoy about genocidal aliens and crushing levels of stress and trauma placed on the backs for five kids who are being ruthlessly hunted but have to try to maintain a sense of normalcy while they attempt to save all of Earth from devastation? And for once, it’s a kid series that actually ADDRESSES how deeply fucked up that all is instead of skating past it. Big fan. And I’ve finally met Ax! I cannot wait for the next book! Heck, I can’t wait til I finally get a book in his POV!

Demon Slayer v3 - 4

I finally know who the is boar-headed guy is! The kids recommending this series to me were all very excited for me to finally meet him and now I have! What an absolute idiot, he’s a delight! Demon Slayer is definitely a bit of a Classic Shounen but it does it so well I can’t even be upset. The main character is such a genuinely enjoyable character, and so far the side characters all have big, amusing personalities, so it’s very appealing, especially when it’s wrapped in such lovely, nostalgic art. (It really does make me think of more old school Inuyasha art rather than what I consider more contemporary manga art... does that make sense? Is anyone else on the same page as me?) Oh, and I would die for his sister. Sibling relationships instead of romantic relationships? Yes PLEASE, not enough series focus on strong sibling bonds.

Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation v1

Wow. This is easily my big gold star book of the month, hands down the best thing I’ve read in a while. I couldn’t put it down! I can see why people have been freaking out about this series and its various adaptations now; I had to go out and buy the next book IMMEDIATELY when I realized I was only fifty pages from the end. I was expecting a much more serious historical style novel, you know the sort with lots of political intrigue and a bit of magic thrown in on the side. I was not expecting something so funny and playful and it’s really stolen my whole heart. Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji are such a pair of idiots and I can’t wait to see where things go in book 2.

Haikyu v39 - 41

SO CLOSE TO THE END OF THE SERIES, I CAN’T WAIT! I’m always impressed by how this author manages to keep up tension and engagement through every match, especially one as long as this most recent one, but the four different views on what it means to be a short volleyball player is fantastic, and then Hinata FINALLY running out of stamina and collapsing??? I’ve been waiting for that trope to appear since like book 2 so I nearly SCREAMED when it finally hit! Ah!

The Iron Giant // The Iron Man

This book was originally published as The Iron Man but because of the movie adaptation calling itself The Iron Giant (I believe to avoid confusion with the Marvel character?) that’s what it tends to be published under know. It’s very different than the movie, but both were really good. This book was a bit less emotional than the movie, but it has a very pure, classic, 1950s fun whimsical kid’s novel vibe to it that makes you just feel really cosy and nostalgic. A strange, scary, possibly dangerous robotic man appears from the ocean! What’s it going to do? What can people do to stop it? What will happen when people suddenly need it to save them?

And this specific edition had the COOLEST art and page design, if you go to read it I really recommend getting your hands on a physical copy of this one because it’s SO much fun to read. 

The Iron Woman

The sequel to The Iron Giant that I didn’t know existed. I was trepidatious at first because these sorts of sequels are usually not… great. But straight up? I think I liked this one even more than the first. It deals with environmentalism and capitalism’s effect on the natural environment in shockingly harsh ways. Damn, it had more worthwhile things to say, and pulled less punches, than a lot of modern media when talking about environmental devastation, the massive and all consuming consequences on ecological collapse, and what amounts to the morality of environmental terrorism. The character of the Iron Woman emerges from the depths to share the agonized screams of every animal that’s being impacted by water being made uninhabitable. I highly recommend this book, it was BEAUTIFUL and I would kill for a Ghibli-style adaptation of it.

Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation wins for my favourite book of the month, but only because I’m queer and simple in my pleasures. This book probably deserves it more though -- while the ending was a bit weak, the rest of the book was masterfully and chillingly written in a way that is approachable to children and powerful for adults.

Lore Olympus v1

I’m always here for a Persephone/Hades retelling, and I’d heard a lot of good things about it, so I was excited to give it a read. I have to admit, the beginning was… rocky. The characterization was rather weak and felt like it was mostly built on cliches and half-assed jokes, but by about the halfway mark it felt like it started to come into its own. And that’s not surprising for stories published online, they tend to improve as the creator gets a better sense for their story and characters and craft. I was enjoying it quite a bit by the end and am looking forward to getting my hands on book two.

Minecraft: The Mountain

I was as shocked as anyone that I enjoyed the first book of this Minecraft isekai novel, but what can I say: Max Brooks can write a pretty damn convincing survival novel. The Mountain starts after The Hero has left their island and has  begun their exploration of the bigger world looking for answers and, hopefully, a way home. While the first book is largely built around the character developing understanding and rules for survival and perseverance, this book is about them finally meeting another human and developing a set of rules for how to be able to work and live with someone who may have different priorities and values than they do. They also introduce the nether and a host of updates to the world that keeps The Hero wrongfooted and learning.

I didn’t love this one as much as the first, but it was enjoyable enough. One of the big downsides for me was confirming that The Hero is male. I really admired how the first book left The Hero gender neutral and allowed the reader to imagine themselves or their own characters onto the protagonist. Book two took that away and it was jarring. Still, I’m at least intrigued by the prospect of a third book in the series.

Sasaki and Miyano v1

This was a benignly cute little manga that I bought on a whim because of a recommendation. Honestly, I read it at the beginning of the month and it didn’t stand out in a huge way… there’s not much I have to say about it beyond I enjoyed reading it and will probably read it again at some point now that I own it, but it didn’t really make any waves. I won’t be seeking out book two; it didn’t really do anything that felt memorable or different, but if you want just a cute little, slightly clueless, romance, then it’s worth picking up.

The Spiderwick Chronicles: The Wrath of Mulgarath

I recently reread the Spiderwick Chronicles and just finished book five. It’s about a family who moves into their great aunt’s old house to care for it now that she can’t. Jared and his siblings gradually start learning the secrets of the old house and what their great-great-uncle Arthur Spiderwick had discovered about the creatures that share their world. It’s such a wonderful take on fairy mythology, with lots of excitement, and the art is beyond stunning. It is consistently well written, with a tight story, and spot on characterization the whole way through. It’s a huge recommendation for kids and adults alike; now that it’s been printed as an omnibus it’s really easy for an adult to pick up and read as one big novel rather than five separate novellas/chapter books. I’m going to have to read the second arc... it hadn’t been out when I originally read this series as a kid but I really love the world Black and DiTerlizzi created here. The fairies are beatiful, but not the standard bland design, they all feel like they could be real, dangerous, slightly alien creatures.

On Stranger Tides

A supernatural pirate story that I was actually really enjoying. Let’s be honest, Our Flag Means Death just got me hungry for more interesting pirate media and I saw that this was considered a pretty highly recommended classic. Very well earned — a bit racist, a bit misogynistic but over all a really fun adventure! I didn’t actually finish it, sadly… I kind of petered off. I’m not sure why it couldn’t hold my attention, perhaps I was just feeling too busy and stressed? Or maybe I was just feeling grumpy about it being too hetero after experiencing OFMD hahaha. I’m considering myself “done” with it for now, which is why it’s here, but I may pick it back up again at some point… Genuinely worth the read if you’re also looking for an interesting pirate adventure.

Witch Hat Atelier v3

I really love the magic system this series introduces, and the art is absolutely beautiful. It really feels different from what any other manga I’ve seen lately is doing. It sort of reminds me of +Anima in ways I really couldn’t describe... The story isn’t really keeping me that interested, sadly, I’m kind of neutral to it, but it’s pretty enough that it keeps drawing me into the next book every so often. I’ll probably grab book four from the library at some point.

[anubisystem]

PLEASE tell me about dogboy Holmes

Okay so first of all my primary assertion that Sherlock Holmes is a dogboy is based on subjective but also completely correct literary interpretation and character analysis. I will admit to not only viewing (for the first time, in the year of our lord 2022, by the way) but DEEPLY ENJOYING the recent bbc Sherlock adaptation with bandicoot bumbershoot, but one thing that I have mixed feelings about is how the recent bbc Sherlock characterized Holmes in a different way from the Doyle impressions. The differences are hard to explain (I’ll go into more depth as I continue to explore and go insane) but the simplest way I can think to phrase it (and this does NOT mean it makes SENSE mind you) is this: Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock Holmes is cat-coded, but Arthur Conan Doyle clearly wrote him as a dogboy. I am so normal about this.

So let me get at what I mean. As early as “A Study In Scarlet” we are presented a picture of Holmes through Watson’s point of view and he comes off… odd, aloof, but very clever and like he clearly has a certain gift. I’d say that this depiction is not abandoned in the new BBC version BUT the writers and actors involved put an additional spin on the character of him being, like, a bit of a sicko in this very overt way and no one really knows what to make of that. Like I mean, people comment on that through dialogue at a few points in the series and it’s a significant driving force in his overarching Thing with moriarty. He’s got this energy in his brain and he needs to solve crimes or puzzles or do drugs or fight something big and WILD to satisfy that craving, that addiction thing. And he loves the games, they give him something vital (in a stimulating way) to do. He’s gotta feel Danger or he gets bored, and when he gets bored he gets destructive; as I said it once, “the bbc Sherlock is very much a show about fucked up little guys who need enrichment so they fight. it’s like if [my bonded cats who love to wrestle and yowl like they’re killing each other and then lick each other’s heads angelically when I check in, it is apparently fully consensual and they’re having a good time] were human guys who were a little fucked up.” Cats being predator animals with adept senses and used to hunting and navigating in the wild tend to get bored without enough enrichment in their house pet lives, and they become destructive. I see this in the bbc take; Cumberbatch’s portrayal of Sherlock Holmes is undeniably cat-coded. I do love this take, for the record, and haven’t decided if I have a favorite adaptation of Sherlock Holmes or if I need one; I’m still exploring like a kid in a candy store (and always taking recommendations). I think the dynamic between Holmes and Watson and the experience of Sherlock Holmes in a near-present day setting with some themes remaining translatable but others being changed due to creative license makes for fun viewing and the characterization is exciting to me as some autistic person online who kinda kinnie vibes with Sherlock Holmes. No shade in particular for deviating from the books by Doyle, but I did notice it and think it’s interesting!

What struck me about reading Sherlock Holmes as imagined by Doyle is that he comes across as similarly desperate for something vital to do, but the implications I read into it has him approaching his work in a servile way rather than purely for his own enrichment. There’s no doubt that Sherlock GETS enrichment from his work, but the way he talks about Scotland Yard with indifferent disdain and a knowledge that he probably won’t get credit for his contributions makes it seem like he’s rather looking for someone to notice what he’s doing. Maybe not the whole world, but somebody he can bond to… through conditioning and training… in essence, he wants to impress a person he values in some way. What’s extra headpat-able about him to me is that Watson can see this pretty early and mentions it: he notices Holmes is “susceptible to flattery” and sometimes uses it to get Sherlock to reveal more about his processes of deduction. I mean, what’s another word for flattery? Praise. He’s such a dogboy.

Plus, he sniffs the crime scene and is always close on the trail of a clue. He’s a bloodhound, through and through. And he wants Watson to tell him he’s a good boy. I think this literary analysis is the best possible use of my limited creative writing schooling by the way. I will continue to be insane about him for the rest of time.

[magistralucis]

What're your thoughts on the newest season of love death and robots?

season 1 > season 3 >> season 2

favs: jibaro + the very pulse of the machine

(i love the relatively-slow and philosophical ones the best. zima blue was easily my favourite of the first season)

swarm’s narrative is a solid one but good fucking god its pacing + context clues are horrendously done. they didn’t have enough time to tell the tale they were trying to tell

i actually read ‘the very pulse of the machine’ many years ago, while i was on a daft punk’s electroma kick and studying philosophy of mind. like a major inquiry that comes up in electroma (and robots/ai in general) is that of ‘when is a machine human’, which i think would logically extend to the inquiries ‘what measure is a human’ and ‘what measure is a machine’, and ‘the very pulse of the machine’ was some good food for thought for the latter question. i am very happy with the adaptation

(this is the only story adapted in ldr i had actually read prior to watching ldr. i could’ve read ‘good hunting’ before, since i had the copy of ken liu’s collection with that story in it, but i didn’t actually open that book until after i’d watched the adaptation 🤦‍♀️ )

fuck nfts

ymmv but i am tired of cthulhu, generally. i think pop culture should put down cthulhu for a couple of years and try again later

a lot of people love bad traveling but i am more gently warm to it. i like it, it’s just not precisely the type of ‘death’ i enjoy looking for in love death and robots

(personally i am robot death >>>> death > robots > love)

(not sure about the sort of robot??? death in mason’s rats though? i am conflicted on that one)

extremely loved jibaro. feast for the eyes; very aguirre wrath of god, and just as trippy

though idk why people get so worked up that the director of jibaro said it was about a toxic relationship?? it is true imo that colonialism and its effects is the dominant angle of the short, but... some things are many things at once, you know? jibaro is the most straightforward narrative in this season and it is insanely applicable. that is not a bad thing

tying into that: i was just as fascinated by the scenery of jibaro as the actual events because of the colonialist parallels. colonialism inflicts violence to the land as much as it inflicts violence to the people who live on that land, and the short did an effective job in showing it

if there is a fourth season could we please have less of the ‘soldiers encounter [x]’ trope thank you

fuck nfts

[ashtraythief]

hi hi hi!!! I hope you are doing well, it is great to see you answering asks. I’ve been stupid busy and haven’t had time to read the new Willy chapter until this weekend. I usually read everything you write the day it comes out but… life. It’s going to be so good though and I’m so excited. I always want to personally thank you for adding more to Underneath, I love that series and world so much.

I feel like I’ve seen you post a fic for Red, White, and Royal Blue, right? Am I getting you confused with someone else? If not, what did you think of the book!!! I’ve been meaning to read it and seeing you write a fic on it made me interested in picking it up. So yes spill!!!! I hope you’ve been good.

Hi nonnie!

I am muddling through, I hope you’re doing well! I try to answer all of the asks I get (I had some failures in the past where I was like oh I’m gonna need to think on that and then it just took too long, so now I try to be speedy lol)

So happy you’re enjoying the underneath verse and I hope you’ll enjoy Willy’s chapter too. I did pour my heart into that one a little bit, so I really do hope you’ll like it.

And yes, I did write a rwrb fic, an a/o heat fic. Just a bunch of porny hurt/comfort, really. I did like the book! Ramblings under the cut.

I watched the movie first, which I think is probably the better order if you want to do both. The movie is a very condensed version of the book, which is mostly the case in book adaptations, but the movie cuts a lot of characters from the book and changes some aspects of the side plots pretty significantly, and I think the movie also kind of diluted Alex’s character, so reading the book was kind of different. The book is well-written and snappy, and I like the characters. I don’t like all the plot points, but I think this is a great case of really showing the reader how two people fall in love and it’s not just here are two hot people who fuck and therefore must be in love. Henry especially is such a heartbreaking character and I think the author does a good job handling his trauma and mental health. The same goes for Alex. The emails get a little schmoopy sometimes and I think some of those conversations should be had on the phone, but then again, Henry is a letter loving romantic and time difference can be a bitch. The American politics are as much a fairytale as the love story is unfortunately (the politics plot is even more ridiculous in the movie, just ignore that lol), but overall I really enjoyed reading the book and I have reread it. The movie is, despite the low production value and the obvious inexperience of the director, very charming and the leads have great chemistry. So I’d recommend that for a light, fun romcom night. There's also excellent fanfic and fanart out there.

If you do try out the book, I hope you enjoy it and let me know your thoughts!

[i-cant-sing]

Yandere Rei Hurting Reader Pt2

Yes yes. Its out now. I won't delete this one. Enjoy!

Part 1 is here. Part 3 here.

Check out my MASTERLIST for more!

Yandere Todoroki Clan:

It had been so awful at first. So hard for everyone to adjust to the new change. Of course, it was especially difficult for you to adapt to the new circumstances.

When you had first woken up after the unfortunate incident, approximately 3 days later, you didn't expect to be home so soon. You expected- you hoped that you would wake up in the hospital and have them call the authorities. Then again, you also didn't expect never being able to use your eyes again.

Shotou was the first one to notice when you had woken up from your coma. He hadn't left your side since the accident. He jumped from his seat beside you and held the glass of water to your lips when you tried to speak. The family came rushing in when he called for them, announcing that you had woken up. You could hear Fuyumi and her crying tears of joy as Natsuo came to check your vitals. You knew your eyes were bandaged, which was expected because of the hot oil that was poured on them, but when you asked Natsuo when they were coming off, he went silent. Your heart sank when he told you what had happened, how your eyes were fucking fried to the point that the arteries supplying them were also destroyed, which meant they couldn't be replaced, ever.

You screamed a lot that day; you would've cried but you didn't have any tear ducts. You didn't let anyone touch you at first, especially Rei. You would scream, throw yourself away from her if you felt her come near you. Eventually, Natsuo put some sort of tranquilliser into your IV, finally calming you down.

Being blind was hard, you knew that. But you didn't know that it would also be this humiliating. After the accident, they had starting infantalizing you even more, doing the most miniscule things for you.

Shotou would be the first person who greeted you in the morning and usually the last person to put you to bed at night. He would carry you around everywhere you go, telling you its simply unsafe for you to walk on your own. Sure you bumped into the furniture a few times and it was a bit hard maintaining your balance, but that didn't mean you needed him to carry you around everywhere. You had asked him to get you a cane, but he only said "why do you need a stick when you have me? Just tell me where you want to go". 

Each morning, Shotou would take you down the stairs to the toilet and more often than not, have Fuyumi come and help you, even for brushing your teeth. Then he would take you to the dining table where everyone is waiting for you. Fuyumi would give your breakfast to Shotou, who would cut it up and feed you. Once you're done eating, you would wait for Shotou to finish his food. During breakfast, everyone would make small talk while you remained quiet. After everyone's finished eating, Fuyumi and Rei would take dishes to sink. You would've helped, but everyone's pretty much forbidden you from entering the kitchen.

Shotou would then carry you either to his room or the living room, where he would turn on the TV and tell you what's happening. But since this always makes you remember how you don't have eyes, he would usually just read you some book. Somehow, they're always about princesses and fairytales. You were getting sick of hearing them.

Fuyumi would later come and fetch you, and take you to your bath. While you would be cleaning yourself, after politely declining help from Fuyumi each time, she would be out preparing your clothes for the day. She would explain to you what you're wearing and how you look, and how she's going to style your hair. As if any of these things mattered to you. But even if they did, its not like you'd have a say in anything.

You still remember the first time you were taking a bath, after finally convincing Fuyumi to let you have the "luxury" to clean yourself up. You finally had some time for yourself, alone and away from the rest of the house. You sank in the warm water in the tub, allowing yourself to relax. The privacy was comforting, but not long lasting, as you felt cold hands touch your shoulders. In an instant, you jumped away screaming. "GET AWAY FROM ME! GET AWAY! GET AWAY!" Rei tried coming closer to you but you kept on screeching at the top of your lungs, alerting the whole house. "FUYUMI! SHOTOU! GET HER AWAY! SHOTOU GET HER AWAY!" At that point you didn't even care if they saw you nude, they just need to save you from her. The siblings rushed to the bathroom and upon seeing your huddled form in the corner and their mother sobbing, Fuyumi hastily covered you with a towel while Shotou took Rei out of there.

Shotou tried to make you understand that Rei was just trying to help you. That she just missed you and wanted to take care of you. He was basically telling you not to be afraid of her, and that your trauma is not valid. You stopped talking to him after that, only spoke when absolutely necessary.  

Natsuo would pick you up after your bath while Fuyumi went to make lunch. He would check your eyes (or lack there of), put on some ointments and replace the bandages with fresh ones. Fuyumi would come with your lunch and after she'd fed you, Natsuo would give you your medicine. They always make you sleepy, so you'd be put down for a nap.

Dabi wasn't always around, but when he was, he was still the asshole he was before. He would move your things to different places, or place stuff in your way so that'd you'd trip (he always caught you before you face planted), all so that you would ask him for help he could get a rise out of you. But you would just sigh and move on.

Enji liked to take you to the garden and read you books and newspapers. It was alright you guess, but you wanted to do something yourself, especially since they still didn't take you out of the house. You had asked him for a Braille, but he only replied "You don't need to stress yourself with that. I'll always be there to read you whatever you want." 

If Enji's running late, then Shotou would take you to the swings in the garden, pushing you as he tells what happened at school or with friends. After dinner, you’d be forced to spend some more time with your siblings, before you’d be tucked into bed.

That has been the routine for the past 6 months since your accident. And the family really felt like everything was returning to normal. It was, for them. This is how they always wanted things to happen: you, locked up in the house while they stripped you of all autonomy and infantalized you to the point where it was harming you, both physically and mentally. Your body was growing weak, your muscles got easily fatigued from their lack of use. And the pills Natsuo gave you didn't really help the case. They made you sleepy, and you think they even caused hallucinations since you felt like someone was in your room or someone was playing with your hair.

Even though you were stuck at home all day, you still never talked to Rei. Well she tried, but you would be the one to always flinch away. She wouldn't address herself when she entered your room, but you would still feel her lurking around the corners. And why should you acknowledge her? Especially after what she's done? 

Enji wasnt ignorant of your condition. He could see how quiet you had gotten, and how scared you were of Rei. He was getting worried for you. What were you thinking about? Enji knew if he didn't talk to you, things will get worse.

You were sitting by the lounge window with Fuyumi who was telling you about her day. Fuyumi greeted him when he came in the room. "Hey, dad!" Enji nodded. "Fuyumi, would you leave us? I'd like to talk to Y/n." Fuyumi nodded, pressing a kiss to your forehead before she left the room, only Enji noticing how you stiffened at her affection. He sat beside you and cleared his throat. "How are you?" "Fine. You?"you softly asked. "I'm good, too. I wanted to talk to you about something. About...your mom." "My mom's dead." Enji cleared his throat. "I meant Rei." "Oh. What about her?" "Why haven't you been talking to her?" You remained silent. “What happened was an accident-” “It wasnt an accident. An accident is spilling milk. Not pouring hot oil in someone’s eyes.” Enji knew this was coming.“She didn’t do it on purpose-” You cut him off again. “She did! She knew exactly what she was doing.” “Why would she do that?” “I don’t know. She hates me or something.” Enji grabbed your hand gently. “You know that's not true. Rei loves you very much and she cares about you a lot.” You didn't say anything. “Do you remember the day you came to our house?” You nodded. “Yeah. It was a few days after my parents funeral.” “Yes. And do you remember what Rei said to you?” You stiffened before nodding again. “She said that she may not be my real mother, but she’ll love me more than anyone ever has and ever will. Always.” “Yes. And has she not? Has she not loved you more than anyone?” You nodded slowly as Enji continued. “Between you and me, she’s always favoured you among all of your siblings.” You smiled at that. “So, are you willing to give your mother a chance?” You paused for a few minutes. “I- I cant.” Enji sighed. “Look. I know you’re scared. I understand. I know you want to blame Rei for what happened, but believe me when I tell you it wasn't her fault. It was an accident.” You shook your head. “And what if another “accident” like that happens again? And what if I dont survive this time? And what if-” Your voice broke down. Enji pulled you into his lap. “It won't. I promise. And if something like that does occur, I’ll be there to stop it.” Enji pressed a kiss to your hair. “I’ll save you. I promise.”

With Enji's persuasion, you had started mending your relationship with Rei again. Sure, you still flinched when she touched you and you were still hesitant to initiate conversations with her, but none of that bothered Rei. You were trusting her again, and she was more than happy to do more on her part to make you comfortable.

And you won't lie, but life was better with Rei. She knew when Dabi or Shotou were becoming too overbearing, or when Natsuo was fussing over you for no reason. She was there to stop Fuyumi from chatting your ear away, and knew when to stop Enji from feeding you too many sweets.

And Enji could see that Rei was sorry for what she did. He saw how she would often massage ointments on your face, her fingers barely tracing the charred area around your eyes before pulling away quickly. And other times, like today, as he stood by your bedroom door, he saw how gentle she was with you as she tucked you into your bed. He kissed his wife once she had left your room. "How are my girls doing?" Enji asked Rei in a hushed voice, not wanting to wake you up. Rei smiled. "Good." They slowly started walking back to their room. "Shes an angel, Enji. So sweet." Enji hummed in agreement. "Can I tell you something?" Enji stopped and turned to face his wife. He raised an eyebrow. "I'm kind of glad what happened...to her." Rei was smiling. "She's so much better like this. So docile now. I...I don't regret what I did, you know?" Enji's blood ran cold. "Rei... dont tell me- you didn't do that on purpose, did you?" Rei nodded, a bit too eagerly. "I know, I know. It wasn't ethical. And if I could, I would've taken away her pain in a heartbeat. But you must agree that its much better now, right?" Enji couldn't believe what Rei was confessing. "I mean, look at her now. She doesn't even try running away. She knows- she feels safer with us, inside." Rei sighed, running a hand through her hair. "I thought that maybe it wouldn't come to this. I thought that after Touya took care of her parents, she'd be a bit more scared to be outside on her own. That's why we told her they died in a car crash." Rei rested her cheek on his chest. "It scares me what I'm willing to do for her, Enji." Enji knew Dabi had something to do with what happened to your parents, but knowing Rei had a hand in it too, or more precisely, she was the one who told Touya to get rid of them. Enji didn't know what to do with this new side of his wife. But he did know he had to keep her hidden from you, so he ushered his wife to their bedroom, not knowing you had already heard them.

You had realised a couple of things that night. One, Rei and Dabi had murdered your parents. Two, Rei pouring the hot oil in your eyes wasn't some sort of psychotic episode. Three, Enji and the others were going to take Rei's side, no matter what.

A few weeks later, your birthday came around. The siblings had left the house to get some things for your birthday party, leaving you in the care of their parents. Rei was in the kitchen cooking up a whole feast for you, while you sat beside Enji in the lounge as he read the newspaper. Enji had already given you your present. It was giant teddy bear with chocolates from Belgium. They were utterly delicious. When you stood up, he asked you where you were going. You pointed at the box of chocolates in your hand. "I'm going to share them with, mom. Unless, thats not okay?"you asked meekly. Enji still wasn't all that comfortable with letting you and Rei be alone, especially after her confession. But... if he doesn't let you go to her alone, you'll always be afraid of her. And its not like Rei will hurt you again, right? Besides, the kitchen is just down the hallway. He's sure nothing will happen. He nodded. "Okay. Should I walk you there?" "No. Its down the hall. I think I'll be fine on my own." Enji then allowed you to go, telling you to call for him if you need anything.

Rei was chopping up some vegetables when she heard your footsteps. She turned around to find you standing just outside the kitchen. "Hey, angel! What are you doing here?" You remained outside the kitchen as you spoke. "I wanted to share these chocolates dad got for me. W-would you like some?" Oh, you're so kind. Rei quickly wiped her hands on a kitchen towel before walking towards you and leading you to the dining room in front of the kitchen. She helped you sit down before taking a seat next to you. "You want me to have your chocolates? But didn't daddy gift them to you?" You bit your lip as you replied. "Well yes, but I- I wanted to share them with you so that I could- I wanted to thank you for taking care of me. And for loving me. I would've gotten you something else but I'm not allowed to go outside..."you mumbled the last sentence, but that didn't matter as Rei quickly hugged you. "Oh honey! You're so sweet!" Rei took a piece of chocolate from the box that you had extended towards her. "And these chocolates are so delicious! Daddy really loves to spoil you, doesnt he?" Rei pinched your cheek gently. You smiled. "I'm glad you liked them. Especially, after all you've done for me. You deserve them more than I do, honestly." Rei stopped at that. "Honey...what are you talking about?" You smiled. "What? Am I not saying the truth? You deserve these chocolates, and all the sweets and flowers and medals for being the best mother." You popped a chocolate into your mouth before continuing. "After all, the criteria is very high. You need to not only have the intent to kill for your child, but you also have to commit murder. Then kidnap your child and force her to bide to your rules. And if she misbehaves, you must punish her as well, right? Because good behaviour gets chocolate," You popped another chocolate into your mouth. "And bad behaviour gets your eyes fried."

Rei just stared at you in disbelief. H-how did you- you didn't hear them talking last night did you? Or did Dabi tell you? Rei stared at you as you ate another piece of chocolate. "I wonder after you've killed me, will you be given chocolates or flowers?" "D-darling, w-what are you saying? I would never hurt you!" You chuckled darkly. "No no. You've done it before and I know you'll do it again. After all, it scares you what you're willing to do for me." You caressed her cheeks, and when you felt her tears, you wiped them. "I'm not saying you have the intention to kill me. No, you'll just hurt me again, another little accident, but this time I won't survive. I just hope you'll bury me somewhere where there's a lot of fresh air, maybe on a hill with a view?" Rei finally broke down at that, falling to her knees as she clung to your legs. "Please! Y/n please forgive me! Please baby, I- I just wanted the best for you. I don't want you to die, I- I promise I'll never hurt you again! I'm sorry! I'm sorry. Please baby, I'll do anything. Just forgive me!" You sighed. "Anything? I don't think you mean that." Rei nodded her vigorously, tears falling everywhere. "I do! I do! Just tell me what to do!" You tapped your chin, pretending to think. "Bring a knife. A sharp one." Rei's eyes widened. "W-What?" "Well...its only right for you to be punished as well. To atone for your sins, right?" "O-okay." Rei went to the kitchen and brought a big knife with her. "Lock the door." She did as you told her. You extended your palm, waiting for her to place the knife. She did. You stood up, right in front of Rei. You told her to stand against a wall, and she followed. You played with the sharp end if the knife. "I want to hurt you. I want to hurt you so bad. I want you to feel the pain, the hell you've put me through." This is it, Rei thought, you're going to kill her. For some reason, she was okay with that. "I want you to know you failed. I want you to know you're a bad mother. A selfish, bad mother." Rei was full on sobbing now. "Look at me. I want you to remember this." And with that you raised the knife before stabbing yourself in the gut, two screams ripping through the manor. Rei shot towards you, her hands trying to pull the knife away. "What did you do?! What did you do?!" Rei was crying. Enji was banging on the locked door for a few seconds before he burned it down and the sight he was met with...was nothing short of a nightmare.

There you layed on the floor, blood sputtering from your mouth, your shirt stained with blood and Rei. Rei, who was hunched over your body, with a bloody knife in her hand, crying out "I'm sorry! I'm sorry!".

Enji rushed towards you, pushing Rei back roughly. You were coughing up blood, your head turned away from him until you felt him touch your face. "D-daddy..."you whimpered out before your breathing came to a stop.

"No. No." Enji quickly gathered your limp body in his arms, running out of the house towards a hospital. He kept on chanting "no", because he didn't want to believe that he failed to protect you.

That he failed to save his daughter, again.

I had 5 different endings in my mind and Idc if this isn't your preferred ending (the ending I had in my mind was something out of Quentin Tarantino's movie). I'm just glad to be done with it.

Anyways, exams are coming up and I'm not going to be posting a lot.

And ill be taking up your follow up questions/asks for this part! I'll also be answering godfather hawks asks now that this part is out.

[therealvinelle]

You or The Muffin made a post on your dream cast(s), but I’m not really familiar with those references/actors (with the exception of Bowie and Jean Claude Van Damme and Clint Eastwood I think you mentioned). Is there anyone you would choose that’s a little more recent (80s-present)?

Our dream cast.

Our dream voice cast, for those interested.

Fun fact, both those posts were composed together, so yeah we share these opinions. We composed this one together as well.

Keep in mind that this list is... well it's for Twilight as I would make it. Which means that of course we’re casting a Didyme, nevermind that she’s been dead for thousands of years, but Denali who?

And once again we’re disrupting the time-space continuum and casting big name actors you’ve definitely heard about as they were ten, twenty, or thirty years ago.

Alright, so newer and shinier Twilight fancast, this time with a few alternatives because decisions are hard:

Alice: ... Audrey Hepburn.

I'm sorry. I tried. I tried to be modern, but I got to Alice and originally we thought Saoirse Ronan, appearances be damned because Ronan is a great actress, only to realize Ronan should be Renesmée.

So we're back to the dream cast. Audrey Hepburn was a tiny, pixie-like, yet ridiculously beautiful woman. Like Alice, her growth was stunted due to prolonged starvation during the War, so she's the perfect casting in a way no modern Western actress is going to be. She was also an amazing actress, just absolutely magnetic each time she graced the screen. She would be a fantastic Alice.

Aro: A young Tom Cruise.

Cruise is an absurdly beautiful man, and at 173 cm he is the right stature as I could never cast a tall actor for Aro. He's a very good actor, so I'm sure he'd be up for it. Also, he'd look great with chalky petrified vampire makeup on. He'd pull it off. I want to see this.

Optionally: Cate Blanchett

Yes, she's a woman. But that's what acting is all about, you play someone you're not. It's more a thing in theatre than in film that men can play women and women can play men, but I say fuck the rules, we're doing it theatre style. And Blanchett absolutely have that enigmatic, ethereal, otherworldly quality I'd want for Aro.

Bella: A young Sarah Michelle Gellar

Gellar is a petite beauty, she is spunky yet adorable, and very charming, the people of Forks and the Cullens would very believably gravitate towards her. Most importantly she has the acting chops to pull it off. She would portray an amazing Bella.

Caius: Daniel Craig

The man is the right age, he's someone you don't mess with. Craig has perhaps a touch too charismatic, but he's good enough that I'm hopeful he could tune it down.

Carlisle: A young Leonardo DiCaprio

DiCaprio is ridiculously attractive and has a bad case of The Babyface™. Watching him try to convince people that he’s 30 years old and has adult kids would be absolutely hilarious, and very faithful to the books. He’s a talented actor, too, very versatile.

Optionally: David Tennant

Tennant doesn't look the part, he is handsome but handsome in that particular way when flawed features come together handsomely. He does however have the perfect charm, gravitas, and energy for the character, so I think he could make a great Carlisle. 

This is where the magic of movie adaptions come in - you’re not going to be able to translate directly from text to screen, that’s impossible. If you embrace that and make some bold choices, you stand to make a truly spectacular adaption. One of the reasons why the Twilight films failed is that they were too faithful to the books while failing to understand the spirit of them, whereas the TV miniseries adaption of His Dark Materials switched a lot of things up and is absolutely amazing for it.

Demetri: Robert Downey Jr.

Ridiculously charismatic and talented actors cast in bit parts and making them shine is a passion of mine.

Didyme: Cate Blanchett

Look, Blanchett had to be in this somehow, and we could think of no one more appropriate. She has too much enigma for Esme, is too womanly for Alice, and once the idea for Didyme was had it was hard to weasel out of. 

Cate Blanchett would be convincing as Aro's sister, as a woman who haunts her lover and brother even thousands of years after her passing, an enigmatic and divine woman who can never be forgotten.

Also she's my fancast for her brother, so this works out quite nicely. Why cast someone who merely looks like Aro’s actor when you can just cast the same actor.

Edward: A young Johnny Depp

Very few men are otherworldly beautiful. There are countless handsome men, yes, and many beautiful ones, but Depp has extreme and symmetrical features that come together beautifully. Robert Pattinson does too, for the record, so what makes me prefer Depp is the fact that he is an incredible actor. Pattinson is good, but Depp is the kind of talent who can power through even the worst scripts, give him nothing and he will give you the world. He’s on Al Pacino’s level, this man can salvage anything.

Emmett: Terry Crews

Terry Crews is a mountain of a man, he's massive. He'd nail Emmett's infectious cheer, too. He has a very symmetrical and attractive face that follows the golden ratio beautifully, so I could buy him being a vampire.

Esme: Anne Hathaway ten years ago. Ref one, ref two.

She’s out of this world beautiful and has the perfect Esme aesthetic. Hands down best Esme. The fact that she’s a very good actress helps.

Felix: Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson

He’s got the physique for the part and would be absolutely menacing.

James: Brad Pitt

Brad Pitt is a character actor who tragically got lost in the blockbuster scene. He’s good, he deserves cool parts. So yeah, Pitt as James. I think he’d be absolutely amazing for the part, it’d be the kind of performance where you can tell the actor was enjoying every second on set.

Jane and Alec: Child Dakota Fanning

Fanning was a good choice for Jane, it's just that she was slightly too old when she was cast (and they made her look even older!) and the screenwriters had written a different character than the one in the books (and not for the better - I’m all for changing things in an adaption! But, well, she was Marvel levels of bad villain). And as Alec is a bit part and supposed to be nearly identical to her, I’d just have Fanning play him as well.

Jasper: Clint Eastwood, every time.

Optionally: feels like blasphemy to even have an “optionally”, but here we are. If you somehow haven’t heard of the guy, then… er. No, sorry, I’ve got nothing. Know that I tried, though.

Marcus: Tom Holland

The man has such babyface, which fits since Marcus is 19.

Just Tom Holland, sitting around, looking young and depressed.

Renata: A young Natalie Portman

Yes, yes, Renata is a bit part, I know that, but this is my Twilight we're casting for so I do what I want.

Portman fits the physical description for Renata, and I find that description to be relevant to her character. She's a teeny tiny woman charged with protecting the most important man in the world, and gifted with intouchability. Portman looks is beautiful enough to fit the bill for a Twilight vampire, and tiny enough to stress the absurdity of this 5′0″ woman being anybody’s bodyguard, nevermind Aro’s.

Renesmée: Child Saoirse Ronan (Though Adult Ronan works too, she’s my cast for the hybrid gremlin period.)

She was an extraordinarily talented child actress, and she’s beautiful while odd-looking. I could absolutely believe I was looking at an otherworldly hybrid when looking at her.

Mostly I think Renesmée is going to be a very hard part for anybody, as the given actor will be portraying one of the most ridiculed characters in recent pop culture. It’ll take major talent to get the audience to care about Renesmée, but I think Ronan, if anybody, could do it.

Rosalie: Margot Robbie ten years ago

She’s out of this world beautiful, and more importantly she’s an incredible actress. She would be incredible for the part.