#butch darcy

[dastardly-homo-writing]

(Queer) Pride and Prejudice || Chapter One

I am going to rewrite the entirety of Pride and Prejudice to be lesbian (and otherwise queer). Let's be real, we need a butch Darcy. Yes, I am a dyke, and yes, I am a literature major. Who else would write this fanfiction.

I know this may have been done before many times, but I have not personally been a reader of any of these, so any commonalities will be coincidental and all props go to those writers. Get ready, this is going to be a wild ride.

_________________________________

Chapter One: The Bennets Discuss a Hot New Bachelorette in Town

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single woman in possession of a good fortune (and a costly, designer backpack), must be in want of a wife. 

However little known the feelings or views of such a woman may be on her first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that she is considered the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters. 

“My dear Mr. Bennet,” said his lady to him one day, “have you heard that Netherfield Park is let at last?” 

Mr. Bennet replied that he had not.  

“But it is,” returned she; “for Mrs. Longfinger has just been here, and she told me all about it.”  

Mr. Bennet made no answer.  

“Do you not want to know who has taken it?” cried his wife impatiently. For a fleeting moment, her mind was overcome with memories of her butch fling as a youth vacationing in Paris. Indeed, Bella had been a responsive conversationalist. Mr. Bennet, on the other hand…

“You want to tell me, and I have no objection to hearing it.” 

This was invitation enough. 

“Why, my dear, you must know, Mrs. Longfinger says that Netherfield is taken by a young woman of large fortune from the north of England; that she came down on Monday in a chaise and four to see the place, and was so much delighted with it, that she agreed with Mr. Morris immediately; that she is to take possession before Michaelmas, and some of her servants are to be in the house by the end of next week.” 

“What is her name?” 

“Bingley.” 

“Is she married or single?” 

“Oh! Single, my dear, to be sure! A single woman of large fortune; four or five thousand a year. What a fine thing for our girls!”  

“How so? How can it affect them?” 

“My dear Mr. Bennet,” replied his wife, “how can you be so tiresome! You must know that I am thinking of her marrying one of them.”  

“Is that her design in settling here?” 

“Design! Nonsense, how can you talk so! But it is very likely that she may fall in love with one of them, in which case they shall undoubtedly be married within the month, and therefore you must visit her as soon as she comes.” 

“I see no occasion for that. You and the girls may go, or you may send them by themselves, which perhaps will be still better, for as you are as handsome as any of them, Ms. Bingley may like you the best of the party if she’s of the Paulman disposition.” 

“My dear, you flatter me. I certainly have had my share of beauty, but I do not pretend to be anything extraordinary now. When a woman has five grown-up daughters, she ought to give over thinking of her own beauty.” 

“In such cases, a woman has not often much beauty to think of.” 

“But, my dear, you must indeed go and see Ms. Bingley when she comes into the neighbourhood.” 

“It is more than I engage for, I assure you.” 

“But consider your daughters. Only think what an establishment it would be for one of them. Sir William and Lady Lucas are determined to go, merely on that account, for in general, you know, they visit no newcomers. Indeed you must go, for it will be impossible for us to visit her if you do not.” 

“You are over-scrupulous, surely. I dare say Ms. Bingley will be very glad to see you; and I will send a few lines by you to assure her of my hearty consent to her quickly marrying whichever she chooses of the girls; though I must throw in a good word for my little Lezzie.” 

“I desire you will do no such thing. Lezzie is not a bit better than the others; and I am sure she is not half so handsome as Jane, nor half so good-humoured as Lydia; only her nickname suggests any remote sense of humour. Though it’s a tad on the nose. But you are always giving her the preference.” 

“They have none of them much to recommend them,” replied he; “they are all silly and ignorant like other girls; but Lezzie has something more of quickness than her sisters.” 

“Mr. Bennet, how can you abuse your own children in such a way? You take delight in vexing me. You have no compassion for my poor nerves.”

“You mistake me, my dear. I have a high respect for your nerves. They are my old friends. I have heard you mention them with consideration these last twenty years at least.” 

“Ah, you do not know what I suffer.” 

“But I hope you will get over it, and live to see many young, strong women of four thousand a year come into the neighbourhood.” 

“It will be no use to us, if twenty such should come, since you will not visit them.” 

“Depend upon it, my dear, that when there are twenty, I will visit them all.” 

Mr. Bennet was so odd a mixture of quick parts, sarcastic humour, reserve, and caprice, that the experience of three-and-twenty years had been insufficient to make his wife understand his character. Her mind was less difficult to develop. She was a woman of mean understanding, little information, and uncertain temper. When she was discontented, she fancied herself nervous. The business of her life was to get her daughters married; its solace was visiting and news. 

__________________________________

A/N: Stay tuned for Chapter Two, where we meet the aptly-named Lezzie.

Also going to cross-post on AO3 eventually!

[greenerteacups]

Have been actively resisting re-reading lionheart lately because my reading list is sooooo long and reading time is soooooo limited, so I was extremely excited to learn about M+G Readings! I’ve listened all yesterday evening while doing chores, and I keep finding myself going back to Hermione having to pretend Draco, Harry, and Ron are girls when discussing her friends with her family. I can’t help but wonder if she made up just really horrible feminine versions of their names to help keep her from slipping up??

On the same note, it has been so much fun to go back to book one just to see how much your babies have grown and matured! They were all such little shits (affectionately) except for our sweet harry, of course.

Hello! Yes! M+G's podfic is a superlative piece of fanwork and the talent involved is off the charts. As someone with zero experience in the field of audio mixing, the whole process reads like magic to me.

The elder Mrs. Granger (not to be confused with her daughter-in-law, Dr. Granger) is, of course, always delighted to hear about her granddaughter's various adventures with Harriet, Veronica, and Darcy.

[violottie]

pride and prejudice 2005 is so agonisingly and tormentuously romantic already but if they swapped mr darcy for a butch and kept the rest of the movie exactly the same it would surely and swiftly kill me

[nopeferatu]

i'm literally so sane rn

[mikus-socks]

You know you’re in love when your both maximalists with opposite aesthetics

[lesbianmity]

Darcy is SUCH a butch. I don't think it's explicitly canon, but that lesbian is definitely a butch

Wearing a suit to prom, calling her girlfriend a princess... butch lesbian behavior!

[mogai-headcanons]

Elizabeth 'Lizzie' Bennet from Pride and Prejudice is an autistic thistle femme libraryaesic pluvisetique literaturicesse phiblioteic libragirl nonbinary lesbian with ADHD who uses she/her, they/them, ve/vir, and se/sir pronouns, and se prefers to go by the nickname Lizzie!

She's married to Darcy, an autistic soft butch wifelexic literaturegender trans lesbian with PTSD who uses she/her pronouns and prefers only to use her last name!

dni link

[whosbian]

sometimes i wonder if jane austen would disapprove of me lesbianifying Mr. Darcy and Elizabeth Bennet and calling them audhd… then I realize she’s 1. Dead and 2. If she didn’t want this to happen why are her characters so audhd and lesbian coded? Huh? Riddle me this.

[korkietism]

Some lesbian thoughts of mine. Let’s have more butches. Let’s have more weird lesbians. Please.

[starrybutch]

till death do us (never) part

[skydarcyedwards]

Only What I Choose

Sky Darcy Edwards

2020

Ballpoint on paper

210 x 297 mm

[dastardly-homo-writing]

(Queer) Pride and Prejudice || Chapter Six

note: from here on, the chapters will begin to have some more deviations from/additions to the original text :)

____________________

Chapter Six: Ms. Darcy May Not Be as Void of Emotion as We Thought

It was generally evident whenever they met, that Ms. Bingley did admire Jane and to Lezzie it was equally evident that Jane was yielding to the preference which she had begun to entertain for her from the first, and was in a way to be very much in love; but she considered with pleasure that it was not likely to be discovered by the world in general, since Jane united, with great strength of feeling, a composure of temper and a uniform cheerfulness of manner which would guard her from the suspicions of the impertinent. She mentioned this to her friend Miss Lucas.

“It may perhaps be pleasant,” replied Charlotte, “to be able to impose on the public in such a case; but it is sometimes a disadvantage to be so very guarded. If a woman conceals her affection with the same skill from the object of it, she may lose the opportunity of fixing the subject of her affection; and it will then be but poor consolation to believe the world equally in the dark. There is so much of gratitude or vanity in almost every attachment, that it is not safe to leave any to itself. We can all begin freely—a slight preference is natural enough; but there are very few of us who have heart enough to be really in love without encouragement. In nine cases out of ten a women had better show more affection than she feels. Bingley likes your sister undoubtedly; but she may never do more than like her, if she does not help her on.”

“But Jane does help her on, as much as her nature will allow. If I can perceive her regard for Ms. Bingley, she must be a simpleton, indeed, not to discover it too.”

“Remember, Lezzie, that Ms. Bingley does not know Jane’s disposition as you do.”

“But if a woman is partial to another, and does not endeavour to conceal it, she must find it out. Slow burn simply does us no good.”

“I should agree on the last part, but let us be realistic, dear Lezzie. In my experience, it simply cannot be helped when both parties are trapped in a question of uncertain reciprocity. Of this you should be well aware. But perhaps Ms. Bingley shall realize, if she sees enough of her. Ms. Bingley does seem the type of woman to take the lead once she is reassured in Jane’s interest. But, though the two meet tolerably often, it is never for many hours together; and, as they always see each other in large mixed parties, it is impossible that every moment should be employed in conversing together. Jane should therefore make the most of every half-hour in which she can command her attention. When she is secure of her, there will be more leisure for falling in love as much as she chooses.”

“Your plan is a good one,” replied Lezzie, “where nothing is in question but the desire of being well married, and if I were determined to get a rich partner, or any partner, I dare say I should adopt it. But these are not Jane’s feelings; she is not acting by design. As yet, she cannot even be certain of the degree of her own regard nor of its reasonableness. She has known her only a fortnight. She danced four dances with her at Meryton; she saw her one morning at her own house, and has since dined with her in company four times. This is not quite enough to make her understand Ms. Bingley’s character. All of these instances combined make up a total time that is less than that of a typical lesbian excursion.”

“It is not enough time only as you represent it. Had she merely dined with her, she might only have discovered whether she had a good appetite; but you must remember that four evenings have also been spent together—and four evenings may do a great deal. Together that is an amount of time significant enough for them to have discussed painting, poetry, and their adoration for pet cats.”

“You fancy Ms. Bingley to be the sort of woman to have an appreciation for poetry!”

“Why, you must agree that her earnest temperament might suit it.”

“Perhaps so; if true, I imagine she should read only the happiest and dullest of poems. But, I should admit, all the better for her compatibility with my sister. In any case; these four evenings have enabled them to ascertain that they both prefer violets to roses; but with respect to any other leading characteristic, I do not imagine that much has been unfolded.”

“Well,” said Charlotte, “I wish Jane success with all my heart; and if she were married to her to-morrow, I should think she had as good a chance of happiness as if she were to be studying her character for a twelveweek. Happiness in marriage is entirely a matter of chance. If the dispositions of the parties are ever so well known to each other or ever so similar beforehand, it does not advance their felicity in the least. They always continue to grow sufficiently unlike afterwards to have their share of vexation; and it is better to know as little as possible of the defects of the person with whom you are to pass your life.”

“You make me laugh, Charlotte; but it is not sound. You know it is not sound, and that you would never act in this way yourself.”

Occupied in observing Ms. Bingley’s attentions to her sister, Lezzie was far from suspecting that she was herself becoming an object of some interest in the eyes of her friend. Ms. Darcy had at first scarcely allowed her to be pretty; they had looked at her without admiration at the ball; and when they next met, they looked at her only to criticise. But no sooner had they made it clear to themself and their friends that she hardly had a good feature in her face, than they began to find it was rendered uncommonly intelligent by the beautiful expression of her dark eyes. To this discovery succeeded some others equally mortifying. Though they had detected with a critical eye more than one failure of perfect symmetry in her form, they was forced to acknowledge her figure to be pleasing; and in spite of their asserting that her manners were not those of the fashionable world, they were caught by her easy playfulness. Of this she was perfectly unaware; to her they were only the person who made themself agreeable nowhere, and who had not thought her handsome enough to dance with.

Ms. Darcy began to wish to know more of her, and as a step towards conversing with her themself, attended to her conversation with others. Their doing so drew her notice. It was at Sir William Lucas’s, where a large party were assembled.

“What does Ms. Darcy mean,” said she to Charlotte, “by listening to my conversation with Colonel Forster?”

“That is a question which Ms. Darcy only can answer.”

“But if they do it any more I shall certainly let them know that I see what they are about. They have a very satirical eye, and if I do not begin by being impertinent myself, I shall soon grow afraid of them.”

On their approaching them soon afterwards, though without seeming to have any intention of speaking, Miss Lucas defied her friend to mention such a subject to him; which immediately provoking Lezzie to do it, she turned to them and said:

“Did you not think, Ms. Darcy, that I expressed myself uncommonly well just now, when I was teasing Colonel Forster to give us a ball at Meryton?”

“With great energy; but it is always a subject which makes a lady such as yourself energetic.”

“And, pray tell, what sort of lady would that be?”

Ms. Darcy went to speak but then paused, catching Lezzie’s eyes with their own.

“It will be her turn soon to be teased,” said Miss Lucas, recapturing her good friend’s attention. “I am going to open the instrument, Lezzie, and you know what follows.”

“You are a very strange creature by way of a friend!—always wanting me to play and sing before anybody and everybody! If my vanity had taken a musical turn, you would have been invaluable; but as it is, I would really rather not sit down before those who must be in the habit of hearing the very best performers.” On Miss Lucas’s persevering, however, she added, “Very well, if it must be so, it must.” And gravely glancing once more at Ms. Darcy, “There is a fine old saying, which everybody here is of course familiar with: ‘Keep your breath to cool your porridge’; and I shall keep mine to swell my song.”

Her performance was pleasing, though by no means capital. She aligned with more radical economic-political beliefs. After a song or two, and before she could reply to the entreaties of several that she would sing again, she was eagerly succeeded at the instrument by her sister Mary, who having, in consequence of being the only plain one in the family, worked hard for knowledge and accomplishments, was always impatient for display.

Mary had neither genius nor taste; and though vanity had given her application, it had given her likewise a pedantic air and conceited manner, which would have injured a higher degree of excellence than she had reached. Lezzie, easy and unaffected, had been listened to with much more pleasure, though not playing half so well; and Mary, at the end of a long concerto, was glad to purchase praise and gratitude by Scotch and Irish airs, at the request of her younger sisters, who, with some of the Lucases, and two or three officers, joined eagerly in dancing at one end of the room.

Ms. Darcy stood near them in silent indignation at such a mode of passing the evening, to the exclusion of all conversation, and was too much engrossed by their thoughts to perceive that Sir William Lucas was his neighbour, till Sir William thus began:

“What a charming amusement for young people this is, Ms. Darcy! There is nothing like dancing after all. I consider it as one of the first refinements of polished society.”

“Certainly, sir; and it has the advantage also of being in vogue amongst the less polished social groupings of the world. Every heterosexual can dance.”

Sir William only smiled, taking no offence. “Your friend performs delightfully,” he continued after a pause, on seeing Bingley join the group; “and I doubt not that you are an adept in the science yourself, Ms. Darcy.”

“You saw me dance at Meryton, I believe, sir.”

“Yes, indeed, and received no inconsiderable pleasure from the sight. Do you often dance at St. James’s?”

“Never, sir.”

“Do you not think it would be a proper compliment to the place?”

“It is a compliment which I never pay to any place if I can avoid it.”

“You have a house in town, I conclude?”

Ms. Darcy bowed.

“I had once had some thought of fixing in town myself—for I am fond of superior society; but I did not feel quite certain that the air of London would agree with Lady Lucas.”

He paused in hopes of an answer; but his companion was not disposed to make any; and Lezzie at that instant moving towards them, he was struck with the action of doing a very gallant thing, and called out to her:

“My dear Miss Lezzie, why are you not dancing? Ms. Darcy, you must allow me to present this young lady to you as a very desirable partner. You cannot refuse to dance, I am sure when so much beauty is before you.” And, taking her hand, he would have given it to Ms. Darcy who, though extremely surprised, was not unwilling to receive it, when she instantly drew back, and said with some discomposure to Sir William:

“Indeed, sir, I have not the least intention of dancing. I entreat you not to suppose that I moved this way in order to beg for a partner.”

Ms. Darcy, with grave propriety and newly straightened posture, requested to be allowed the honour of her hand, but in vain. Lezzie was determined; nor did Sir William at all shake her purpose by his attempt at persuasion.

“You excel so much in the dance, Miss Lezzie, that it is cruel to deny me the happiness of seeing you; and though this fellow dislikes the amusement in general, they can have no objection, I am sure, to oblige us for one half-hour.”

“Ah, Ms. Darcy is all politeness,” said Lezzie, smiling.

“They are, indeed; but, considering the inducement, my dear Miss Lezzie, we cannot wonder at his complaisance—for who would object to such a partner?”

Lezzie looked archly, and turned away. Her resistance had not injured her with the raven-haired butch, and they were thinking of her with some complacency, when thus accosted by Miss Bingley:

“I can guess the subject of your reverie.”

“I should imagine not.”

“You are considering how insupportable it would be to pass many evenings in this manner—in such society; and indeed I am quite of your opinion. I was never more annoyed! The insipidity, and yet the noise—the nothingness, and yet the self-importance of all those people! What would I give to hear your strictures on them!”

“You conjecture is totally wrong, I assure you. My mind was more agreeably engaged. I have been meditating on the very great pleasure which a pair of fine eyes in the face of a pretty person can bestow.”

Miss Bingley immediately fixed her eyes on their face, and desired they would tell her what lady had the credit of inspiring such reflections. Ms. Darcy replied with great intrepidity:

“Miss Lezzie Bennet.”

“Miss Lezzie Bennet!” repeated Miss Bingley. “I am all astonishment. How long has she been such a favourite?—and pray, when am I to wish you joy?”

“That is exactly the question which I expected you to ask. A lady of your interests has an imagination most rapid. It jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony, in a moment. I knew you would be wishing me joy.”

“Nay, if you are serious about it, I shall consider the matter is absolutely settled. You will be having a charming mother-in-law, indeed; and, of course, she will always be at Pemberley with you.”

They listened to her with perfect indifference while she chose to entertain herself in this manner; and as their composure convinced her that all was safe, her wit flowed long.

[wherermynoodles]

Y’all ever notice how lesbians don’t play about Bruce Springsteen?

[booksandchainmail]

I've started reading Anne Lister's (early 1800s lesbian) journals, some highlights:

where they start off, she's accompaning her ex-its-complicated (Mariana) who just got married on her honeymoon. Anne responds to this heartbreak by fucking Mariana's sister (also along on the honeymoon)

she is also an absolute dirtbag towards this sister (confusingly also named Anne aka Nantz), "she would gladly have gotten into bed or done anything of the loving kind I asked her", "I said she excited my feelings in a way that was very unjustifiable unless she meant to gratify them"

part of how she explains she's gay to Nantz is saying how pretty hr sister Eliza is. Notably this is not the sister that Anne has been dating.

then she immediately drops Nantz and makes a snide note that "superior charms might not be so easily come-at-able on such easy terms"

Later she meets back up with Mariana and then proceeds to spend so much time hanging out with yet another sister (Lou) that Mariana gets jealous, which Anne glosses over in a way that might read more heartfelt if she had not previously a) noted that one of Mariana's sisters was very pretty or b) slept with another one

On the one hand she is such a snob towards her neighbors, but on the other its clear she's acutely aware that they are all aware she is Different and are gossiping about her, so I find it hard to hold the classism against her

her idea of flirting with a local middleclass girl she meets is to send her a poem about having a temporary fling with a social inferior. Luckily she does not go through with this idea, but big Darcy energy

at one point she buys a pistol and shoots out of her window and the recoil knocks it out of her hand so dramatically that the pistol smashes the glass

so much of these journals are about finances, which I'm sure the historians adore, Anne keeps noting down how much everything cost

There's some interesting gendered bits going on in her: Anne mentions at one point sitting in just her underwear and men's suspenders, and mentions "the abuse I had received for [...] manners like those of a gentleman". She's also very focused on getting a full (masculine) education: classics, math and science, etc, and there are multiple places where she notes particularly when a(n unfamiliar) man treats her intellect as an equal.

there's one long bit that really gets me where she goes on for a while about the various expenses of traveling by coach and ends it with "Any gentleman might travel on these terms, if he chose to go into the traveling room & was sure of being well received so long as he did not give himself airs, but behaved like a gentleman. Indeed, he said, many gentlemen did travel in this way..."

gods I wish she lived in a time where she could be butch

Anne Lister kept parts of her journals encrypted, mostly the lines to do with her sexuality, and there's a strange poetry in the way this collection renders the encrypted text in italics, queerness once unreadable but still written plainly alongside the deniable straightness, "Had a hot supper & did not get back until 3. I slept with M---"

[stormysapphic]

there are people who, despite repeating "butch/femme relationships aren't lesbian heteronormativity! butch =/= man! femme =/= woman!", cannot even fathom a butch/femme reimagining of m/f media where the butch isn't the man and the femme isn't the woman... 💔 what about femme garfield/butch arlene. femme darcy/butch lizzie. femme hades/butch persephone. femme pirate/butch mermaid. femme orc warrior/butch elven princess. open your minds!!!

[rosebudprincess]

where’s my regency era femme4butch? where an eligible young lady pleads her mother to allow her to take just one more year off before debuting her into the marriage market with the chances of possible earning the affections of a certain lady gentleman of another noble house. sure, to society it’s wrong. but to them it felt so right.

meeting in the dead of the evening, lady in her nightgown while her gentleman dons a green carnation in the pocket of her tailored suit. society doesn’t accept them but if she could, the lady gentlemen would’ve already taken her sweet lover and eloped far away. underneath willow trees and moonlight, the lady takes her gloved hand in hers.

i need for femme4butch regency romance, someone please make a regency version of stone butch blues and maybe make the butch darcy-esque or knightley-esque