#buuuut oh these four OH THESE FOUR

[abs-2020]

Dont really know if you do jake sully asks but.

Yandere! Dilf! jake sully x young Na'vi reader {not TOO young}

Where hake is already married to neytiri and has his four children but isn't satisfied with it, he didn't get to enjoy most of his time as a young Na'vi, then suddenly, a young Na'vi reader gets gis attention, following reader around like its a hobby.

Of course, the reader notices, how could they not with jake big form always around them? The reader took a liking to jake a few pandoran moons ago, but since they know Neytiri is HIS mate, reader can't stand a chance.

So when some time came jake slowly improved his relationship with the reader and they {you know 🤭}

And then one day the reader sees that he looked so happy with his family, so the reader distances themselves to him thinking he doesn't want reader anymore, and the reader thinking they were only and ONLY his plaything.

The reader follows the elders' commands and begins to find another mate.

Jake on the other hand is FURIOUS, let me tell you, volcano furious, he wants reader and reader only, he finds himself getting rid of possible mates as he is ofc, THE Toruk Macto. He gets amd at the reader and pour some angry smut there would you? And the rest us to you😫😫😫😫🤭🤭🤭🤭🤭

Girlie. 🤚🏻🤚🏻 lemme just tell you. This. Sounded. Fun. Buuuut uh, I’m scared I did your thoughts absolutely no justice and that I didn’t live up to any of your expectations. But I did my best and played around sooo I hope you enjoy. Aaassss always comments and complaints are always appreciated. <3.

Warnings: SMUT/18+/choking kink/CNC/forced breeding/oral(M) receiving/jakes an ass/ this is just pure filth/cheating on Netyiri/stalking/age gap/it’s nassstayyy.

Authors note: uuh NOBODY thank me. Because this wasn’t my idea. It was this lovely girls idea. 😌 but I feel like i did your idea no Justice.

———————————————————————————-

Jake. Jake sully. Jake fucking sully. The Avatar that’s been haunting your dreams and daydreams. His hulking blue frame and roguishly attractive aroma haunted your every god damned thought. I mean how could he not? His tenacious smirk, beautiful hair, and that gorgeous gorgeous voice of his had you fawning over him like a little puppy. But it wasn’t always that way, of course not. In fact, you hadn’t really noticed Jake sully, ‘the Toruk Makto’ not until the big blue alien had started following you around like some gaurd dog a few months ago. Like it was a hobby, like it was his duty. That, that is when you noticed the blue avatar. That’s when you noticed his burning hot gaze on your behind, the gaze that sent chills down your spine. That was when you first noticed Jake sully.

Soon after his stalkerish behaviors Jake had finally started to make interactions with you. Such as asking ‘how your day was’ or telling you that ‘your hair looked nice’ even as far as sneaking up behind you and capturing you in unexpected embraces. But that was after he had started to grow on you. But oh boy, The way his arms wrapped around your form intoxicated you to the very core, made you feel a warmth you hadn’t ever felt before. A warmth that you never wanted to go away, never.

But no matter what the hulking blue alien did to make you feel at ease you always had one thought on your mind. ‘Jake was a mated man’ Jake had a mate. And that thought was the only thought that had seemed to keep you at bay. You stood absolutely no chance. But his warmth, oh his warmth. You just wished it would never leave.

And that warmth never did go away, and neither did Jake sully, because that warmth had ended up filling your core. And oh it was so hot, sticky, and passionate when it had happened to. The way his hulking form towered over yours, or the soft little whimpers of praise that left his throat with each thrust had you hooked. Hooked in a way you never thought was possible. And the thought of being so hooked to someone, Especially a mated man scared you. But what scared you even more was the fact that Jake sully never left your mind, not ever.

You should have been disgusted with yourself after it had happened. After you had brought about the cheating on Netyiri, Such a kind and beautiful Na’vi. But not only should you have felt disgusted with yourself for that, you should have felt disgusted because of the age gap. Jake was 28 for heavens sake. And you? You were 19. You were 19 well over ‘mating’ age in the words of the Tsahìk. And that had reminded you of your conversion not only a couple days ago.

A hand being placed on your shoulder had your attention being drawn to its user your brows and ears both quirked up. You’d expected it to be a friend, maybe some random boy. But no, all you were met with was the harsh, stone cold gaze of the Tsahìk.

“(Y/N), you’re well over mating age. I think it’s time you find yourself a mate. A strong man, a warrior...”blah..blah..blah…

that was all you heard coming from her mouth during the encounter. But- the Tsahìk was right, and you knew that. Deep down you knew. But even deeper down a part of you wanted to have Jake all for your self, wanted to be his mate, a part that didn’t want to let him go. mean how could you? How could you let go of a man like that? Was a thought that played in your mind on repeat.

Your mindless and aimless wandering during your thoughts had ended up bringing you to the middle of base, a couple tents away from Jake’s. And you hadn’t quite noticed until the sound of laughing children had your head and ears swiftly jerkin in the direction of the noises. Your heart sunk when your eyes met the scene before you. It was all 6 of them, Spider, Netayum, Lo’ak, Tuk, Netyiri, and Jake. Now it wouldn’t have been such a problem if they all hadn’t been laughing, smiling, teasing, and playing all together like the happiest family you’d ever seen. But they were, and it made your heart sink. You couldn’t take that from Jake, you couldn’t take Jake from that he loved his family too much for that. And you finally saw that.

“Oh Ewya, how could I have been such an idiot..”

You were so stupid, you were an idiot. How could you be such and idiot? Jake had a mate, Jake had children, ‘Jake had children’ you brought a shaky hand to your face dragging the flesh of your palm against the palm of your cheek. An exaggerated sight would leave your throat once reality finally set it. You brought about the cheating Netyiri, you helped Jake cheat on his mate. Betray his family. Betray himself. You did that. You did that.

A uneasy queasiness set into the pit your stomach as a sour and tart taste began to fill your mouth coating your taste buds. Quickly you’d rush a hand to your stomach and the other to your mouth. Your feet scurried against the smooth rocky floor as you tried to find a corner to let your body do its thing. But before you knew it a gag would fill the air as the remains of your lunch hit the floor with a noisy spat.

‘Fuck’

A light sheen of sweat would coat your forehead from the toll puking had taken on your body. You’d shake your head in annoyance at the world and situation your tail whipping furiously and ears falling back in regret.

“Maybe the Tsahìk was right..’

———————————————————————————-

Laughter would fill the air your tail whipping as you sat next to Etäay a joke he had made a couple seconds ago causing laughter to rip through the both of you, a blush painting your features at the proximity of the Na’vi.

Etäay was a funny man, in his late 20s and an excellent hunter. Definitely a Na’vi you wouldn’t have expected to have a sense of humor, But he did. He was a taller Na’vi, skinner, more lean than anything else. His hair in one long thick braid, with two smaller ones hanging in the front of his angular and chiseled face. He wasn’t Jake, not in the slightest, no where near close. No not at all. But you had finally decided to take the advice of the Tsahìk and try finding yourself a mate.

‘Jake wouldn’t mind’ you told yourself ‘Jake won’t care’ he had a family for Christ sake. And a mate. What had happened between the two of you was a mistake. A huge and forgettable one at that. So forget about it you did. Or at least try…

And try you did, but sometimes things just can’t be helped. Because when Etäay decided to lay a bold hand right on the apex of your thigh the sound of a crack coming from the branches above the both of you rippled through the forest causing your ears to fall back in fear as your body stiffened.

A nervous laugh would escape Etäay’s throat. He was just as startled as you were. And you didn’t blame him. Oh no you didn’t blame him at all. How could you when the atmosphere had changed so quickly? Everything had gone dark, a suck a gloomy feeling filling the air making it thick and hard to inhale. A feeling of being watched. stalked by unwanted and familiar eyes. It had your palms going clamy and throat dry. You knew those eyes, and you knew this presence.

“Jake..” it was barley audible, barley about a whisper.

“What?” Etäay would question from the side of you his hand leaving your thigh as he shuffled up uncomfortably. He obviously didn’t catch what you said.

“N-nothing, I’m sorry Etäay but I’m off to bed.” You’d pause “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

But deep down, a part of you knew you weren’t going to be seeing him tomorrow. Because a part of you knew Jake wasn’t going to let you.

As you shuffled up from your seat on the forest floor Etäay would give you his farewells before you scurried off like a little mouse. Your heart was thumping, beating just as fast as your mind was racing. ‘Was that really Jake? Or am I just paranoid?’ You asked yourself as you dodged, weaved, jumped, and maneuvered around the forest and it’s obstacles. But after shuffling around the forest for about 10 minutes your heart and mind had finally calmed down. A laugh would leave your throat, the sound echoing around the quiet forest.

You mumbled to yourself as you looked around the trunk of a girthy tree “I was definitely paranoid-“ a choke would fill the air as a giant and roughy blue hand met your throat with a harsh jab, long and thin fingers wrapping around the nape of your neck in a tight, vice like grip. Immediately your air was cut off and your body thrown against the bark of the girthy tree. An animalistic growl echoed through the forest, and rattled every bone in your body shaking you down to your very core your thighs rubbing together subconsciously.

‘Jake’

“Oh sweet girl I think you were paranoid just enough.”

Your eyes widened in confirmation at the sound of Jake, oh god jakes voice had your ears falling back and your tail wrapping around your own thigh. Jakes voice was almost hypnotizing a hint of anger and a promise of threat laced in his words, A cherry on top just for you.

Jakes grip on your neck only tightened, the danger of the lack of oxygen causing a sweet and sticky slick to form between your folds as your thighs rubbed together in unison. Black spots starting to cloud your vision, jakes yellow honey dew eyes never leaving yours, not even for a split second. Another aggressive growl would leave his throat as he held your body against the bark of the tree. Your hands would shoot to jakes forearms your nails digging into his blue flesh, breaking skin, drawing blood as you fought the brink of consciousness and unconsciousness. Your eyes would flutter closed as you tried to suck in a breath that wasn’t granted. Your vision getting blacker, blacker by the second. Your body and limbs weakening your hands slipping from jakes forearm as you slipped into unconsciousness. That was until a weight was finally lifted from your throat your knees hitting the forest floor with a loud thud.

Your gasps of air would fill the quiet forest as Jakes giant form loomed over your tiny one, him even taller as you sat on your knees your hand shooting to your throat in an attempt to ease the pain. There was definitely going to be a bruise you thought. A dark and very noticeable Bruise. A mark he was going to leave you with to remember him. The sounds of steps, jakes steps would have you shooting your head up to look at the man.

“You think you can just go around fucking, flirting or even looking in the direct on other guys sweet heart? …?” Jakes tone was dark, each word he spoke with a possessive snarl his canines glistening in the dark of the forest. “You think that’s okay?” Jake would quirk a brow at you.

A scoff would leave your throat as your hand continued to rub and sooth the bruising flesh.

“You don’t own me Jake. You’re a mated man.” Your words were thick, full of truth and venom. “So yes, I can go around. I can go around and find myself a mate. And he’ll be the only one allowed to touch me and make love to me.” Your ears would perk up with pride as you looked up to the man before you, still resting on your knees.

Jakes ears would twitch at your words, his whole body moving in a quick blur as his hand reached for your face his hand gripping your cheeks forcing them into an ‘o’ shape straining your neck to look up at him as he pulled you from your knees to your feet.

Jake was radiating heat and anger, his eyes boring holes into your very soul. He was fuming and oh my did it make slick run down your thigh. You liked him like this, liked him manhandling you. Like him choking you. Got you loved him choking you. He’d never done that before but now, now you were hooked. A dark look would cross jakes features as he stared at your ‘o’ shaped mouth and sinister smirk coating his beautiful face as an idea crossed his mind. Quickly Jake would shove you back down to your knees with a snarl his hands knotting into your hair the skin on the back of your scalp burning from his grip tears threatening to spill from the pain.

In a blur Jake would remove his groin cloth, an unholy groan leaving his lips as his member spring free from its confinement. Your eyes would widen when his long, blue, shaft collided with the skin of your cheek. The sight had your mouth weathering as you counted the bumps and ridges of his member saliva threatening to spill at any moment. Jakes grip on your hair would tighten, a slap to your cheek brining you back to reality causing you to look back up at the dominating Na’vi with doe eyes.

Another slap to your cheek, “open your fucking mouth.” Jakes honey dew eyes were staring right back into yours not an ounce of forgiveness in his orbs.

you wanted to resist you really wanted to, bout how could you? This man was your poison and you would do anything to get a taste even if it meant death. So, you obliged with a more than happy heart. Sticking your tongue out in the most sultry way as a pool of saliva ran from your tongue down the the forest floor. Im that moment you swear you heard jake suck in a breath and stutter. His demeanor faltering for only a second. But only for a second because before you knew it jakes member was getting shoved in and out of your throat in a ruthless and unforgiving pace, each thrust leaving you on the verge of gagging as his ridges caught onto parts of your throat only making the abuse on your throat worse. Ruthlessly Jake would fuck into your throat, small curses and growls leaving his throat as tears trickled down your blue cheeks your ears back and tail stiff.

“O-oh I’m not gonna make love to you b-baby girl, I’m gonna fuck you.” Jake would spit his words through his teeth with venom trying his best not to moan or let his demeanor fall.

A moan would fill your throat at jakes words, the vibrations from your throat brining Jake closer the the edge his thrusts getting faster and faster, quicker and sloppier. Sticky and sweet Slick was running down your thighs, the feeling of jakes member ramming into the back of your throat causing you an embarrassing amount of pleasure and ecstasy.

“Oh yeah you like that? Like the thought of me fucking you and taking you from behind huh sweet girl..?” A slap to your cheek and the tightening grip on your hair would cause another moan to leave your throat as you rubbed your thighs together in an attempt to ease some of your desire. “Yeah you do, fuck yeah you do you…” jakes thrusts we’re accentuated with his last few words as he reached his orgasm. “cause. You’re. Fucking. Mine.”

Jakes mouth would fall open when he finally reached his climax his head and ears falling back in pleasure and bliss as his hot and sticky seed coated the back of your abused throat.

Panting would fill the air as jake slowly removed his hand from your hair along with his member from your throat in a quick motion. Tears would stain your blue cheeks your skin damp and wet as you brought a shaky hand to the flesh in an attempt to dry your skin. Subconsciously you were still rubbing your thighs together as you bit your lip. Jake still standing tall in front of you.

“Oh we’re not done baby girl.” Jakes words were filled with a threat.

Roughly and forcefully jakes hands would find their way to your waist the blue Na’vi making easy work of flipping you onto your stomach, so that you were face down and ass up. Jakes hand would rub soothing Circles onto the flesh of your behind as he lined himself up with your entrance. You waited in anticipation. You knew it was going to hurt, be painful. Especially with a Na’vi of his size and girth. But you’d never expected him to do what he was just about to do, suddenly jakes hand was lifted from your arse, your hips would rut in the air in retaliation, you wanted him to touch you. To stretch you around his fingers to warm you up for him, but when the sudden sound of a slap filling the air and a quick shot of pain from between your legs came out of nowhere a mewl of pain and surprise escaped your throat.

“Y-you..” you couldn’t speak, you were in too much pain from jakes actions. From him thrusting his whole length into you in one go, without stretching you out or warming you up.

“Shhh, shhh, shhh baby girl. It’s okay. You’re okay.. fuck- fuck you’re squeezing me so good…” Jake would sit bottomed out inside of you for a few seconds before he finally decided to take his length almost all the way out just to slam right back into you. “…you deserve this, this is what you get sweet thing. D-daddy’s gotta teach you a lesson.”

A moan of pleasure and pain would leave your lips when jakes hand found it’s way to your throat for the second time of the night, the man’s large, long, and slender fingers wrapping all the way around your delicate throat as he pulled your back to his chest to he could cradle you one hand snaking to pleasure your little bundle of pleasure and nerves. Your body was on fire, jakes hand on your throat, his harsh thrusts, harsh words and harsh tone, his warmth was enough to set off every single nerve in your body.

“J-jake.. please.”

A laugh would rumble from jakes chest as he mumbled a ‘Nuh uh’ his fingers making quick and great work of your clit the action brining you closer and closer to the edge.

“Daddy’s gotta remind you who this pussy belongs to baby girl, he’s gotta remind you that you’re mine. He’s gotta show you what happens when you talk to other guys.” Jakes voice was sultry and demanding as his thrusts got faster and faster, deeper and deeper, roughy and rougher by the second.

You’d chant jakes name as he brought you closer and closer to the edge, climax, your orgasm. His grip on your neck only tightening as he pulled your back tighter against his chest, his eyes landing on the bulge that formed in your belly with each thrust. A guttural groan would leave jakes throat at the sight, his hips now pistoling into you at an unforgiving pace the sight making him chase his and your high.

A sharp moan would leave your throat as your nails dug into jakes forearm as he fucked you flush against his chest the angle causing him to hit deeper and deeper your velvety and gummy walls spasming around him, gripping onto him like a vice, suctioning, pulling him back into you with each of his thrusts.

The finally a knot would snap sending you into cloud nine, oblivion, All you saw was white as you scream jakes name and closed your eyes in pure ecstasy and pleasure your orgasm crashing into you like an ocean wave your ears falling back in triumph.

Jake would continue to piston into your weeping and swollen cunt your juices dripping down the both of your thighs as the sound of wet skin slapping skin filled the forest air. Jakes tail would wrap itself around your thigh as his ears fell back.

“Daddy’s gonna make you a mommy.”

Your eyes would shoot open at his words, but it was far too late jakes hips already sputtering as he stilled inside of you spilling his hot and sticky seed inside of you an ever so present bulge poking out from your tummy as both of your juices mixed onto the forest floor.

“That’s Daddy’s lesson.”

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Authors note: ahahah, was this too much? Maybe. do I care? Maybe. But hoooopefully you enjoyed it. I tried my best to fufilll your wishes. And I’m sorry it took so long. I suck ballz. <3 ;)

[lazycats-stuff]

Hey, I'd love a batfam x reader fic, where the reader got mistreated by the family when they were first introduced (not by Alfred tho), they ignored here and just focused on their own shit and when the reader got older and they realized "oh shit I got another sibling" they wanna build a relationship, but the reader hates them and is like "nah, I don't give a shit how bad you feel, kys" and "Do i look like I care? Fuck off and please fall down the stairs and break your neck" or they're really overly nicest most anime girl voice to make them feel extra bad "oh my absolutely dearest brother, I would love to spend time with you, buuuut I just don't want you to waste your time on your little brother, okayyy 😚"

I hope you can imagine something with this!

Take time and have great day

Alright, I'm sorry that this took so long... Also, comedy is not my thing so, forgive me if this is not funny.

Summary: (Y/N) was ignored by the other siblings. Years later they realized they had a brother. (Y/N) isn't a forgiving person, also this gif is (Y/N) like why the fuck you talking to me

Warnings: cursing, (Y/N) is not forgiving, the siblings want forgiveness.

They were all so stupid. Every single last one of them. Bruce tried to warn them, but they didn't want to listen. Bruce himself introduced (Y/N) to the boys. He also tried to stop the ignoring (Y/N) thing, but was unsuccessful.

Alfred and Bruce were going to now sit back, relax, and drink tea and coffee respectively and watch this entire shitshow, to put it bluntly. And it was lowkey funny. Alfred and Bruce allowed (Y/N) to curse during this entire thing.

Jason was the first one to try and apologize. He was the harshest one, always snapping back and slamming the door into his face whenever he wanted to hang out. He summoned up the courage and knocked on (Y/N)'s door.

(Y/N) opened and tried to slam the door, but Jason just wedged his foot in between the door and the frame.

" Can we talk? " Jason pleaded, watching as he looked him up and down.

" No, I'm busy. "

" Please, I know that I was wrong and I really feel bad. " Jason pleaded.

(Y/N) sighed, closing his eyes for a moment.

" Jason, I will say this in the nicest way possible. I don't give a single flying fuck about your feelings. You didn't care about me and I don't care about you. So, let me rephrase this once more. Go fuck yourself."

And with that (Y/N) slammed the door in Jason's face.

Jason stood there for a moment before sighing. He really felt bad.

Next brother who tried to apologize was Dick. He caught (Y/N) as he tried to leave the gym quickly.

" (Y/N), I need to talk to you! " Dick said, walking up to (Y/N).

" Well, I don't need to, so please fuck off. " (Y/N) said shortly, moving to the kitchen to get some more water. Alfred smirked behind the tea he was drinking.

" Please, I just want to make things right. "

" And I don't care. Now fly off birdie. " (Y/N) said, running to his room.

" (Y/N), I know I made a mistake! " Dick said, running after (Y/N).

" I don't think you know. " (Y/N) said, slamming the door right into Dick's face and (Y/N) smirked at the groan he got. Dick clutched his nose. He wasn't bleeding, but it was throbbing.

Dick had a lot of groveling to do.

Tim was the third one to try to apologize. He tried to find (Y/N), but (Y/N) became the expert in evading his four brothers, just like they evaded him for all those years.

" (Y/N), I know I was stupid at the time- "

" No, you are still stupid if you are trying to talk to me. " (Y/N) cut him off, taking off to his room.

" (Y/N), what we did was wrong and I feel bad. " Tim tried once more.

" Well, I don't feel bad for you. I don't give an absolute shit how you feel. None of you cared for me and I don't care about you. So, as far I'm concerned, you can kill yourself. "

Tim was speechless. What have they done?

Damian was the last one. He was very... Aggressive in the past with him. Ignoring usually had threats of violence and everything else was off limits. Damian didn't care about him and (Y/N) didn't care about him. It was a fair exchange.

Now he wanted to... Apologize? Not happening.

" (Y/N), I want to apologize to you. I realized that I was wrong. "

(Y/N) raised his brow, clearly not in the mood.

" Oh really? Please, fuck off and leave me be. You don't care about anyone but Bruce and Dick, so don't start acting like you care. And I like I've said before, I don't care about any of your feelings. You didn't care about me, I don't care about you and your feelings. So, as far as I'm concerned, you four can fuck off. "

(Y/N) finished, feeling happy that he got it off his chest. He walked away from Damian. Damian stood in the hallway, looking as (Y/N) left.

They have made a terrible mistake. But they will do whatever it takes to make it right.

[webslingingslasher]

Would Peter ever talk to trouble as Spider-Man during their break up (assuming she finds out after the become bf/gf). Not like a regular thing but if once he’s really desperate just to say hi because he misses her voice. Just like when he’s swinging by after patrol ends. Or is that against his protocol?

totally against his protocol... buuuut:::

peter's missed you so much and you've iced him out completely and you're right there and look lost and you absolutely adore spider-man and always wanted to meet him.

'need some help, miss?'

'oh my god.' you stare, totally speechless for ten seconds. 'you're spider-man.' the hero nods, 'that i am.'

'you're talking to me.' another nod, 'that's correct.' you point at yourself, 'me? okay, um. oh my god, what the fuck. okay, holy shit- i need to tell pet-' you lower your phone, no, you can't tell peter.

peter feels terrible and bitter because you're choosing to leave him out, but filled with warmth when he was the first person you thought of.

'who's pet?' oh, spider-man likes hunting for pain sometimes.

'peter. just... some guy i really liked, i guess. but, he's stupid or whatever. you're spider-man. hi.'

'hi, sorry about peter.' he really is.

'it's okay. you're talking to me. do you have a girlfriend?' peter is not about to speculate what you mean by that, but even if he did, the lines of consent would blur so hard he's staying away from that with a thousand yard pole.

'i thought you looked lost, need any help?' you look down at your phone, you could figure it out. 'no, i don't think so. i just... you're really spider-man?'

the hero chuckles. 'i really am.' peter knows you're totally spun around, but he can't call out like he knows where you're supposed to go. 'are you sure you don't need any directions? i see everything up there, you know.'

'wow. i'm just really, wow. hi.' spider-man's laugh feels homely, it swallows you in comfort. like you know it. there's a pang, you really miss peter, he'd be so happy for you.

'would you like to take a picture?' you choke on your air, spider-man is offering you to take a photo? the world feels upside down. 'yes! oh my god, thank you so much!'

you feel your cheeks go hot at your shakey hands, but spider-man just takes over. a hand on your back has you wanting to scream, you know he's under a mask, but it felt like he smiled for the photo too.

'last time, miss. no help?' you bite your lip, it was a new area, so new the google maps haven't fully updated. peter was the last one to take you down here, it's his fault you don't know how to get back.

'um. actually, yeah. would you mind telling me the way back to esu?' new york city's hero nods, 'it'd be my honor.'

----

four hours later and you break your no contact rule.

'look who i met today.'

peter responds immediately.

'so happy for you! was he everything you dreamed of?'

'he asked ME for the picture. my ego's on level ten rn parker.'

'if he had an instagram that picture would be pinned.'

'damn straight.'

it's bad and morally corrupt but it makes you talk to him, so the next time he really misses you and can't take it anymore... he knows what'll make you break.

[depressopax]

Nacho Varga relationship headcanons

NSFW version

Fandom - Better call Saul

Pairing: Ignacio “Nacho” Varga x gender neutral reader Genre: Smut, headcanons Warning(s): Sexual content. Situationships. Mentions of oral, handjob/fingering, degradation, penetration, semi-public, cuss words, sub/dom dynamic, pet names (gn) Reader is gender neutral. Might be a bit OOC! Words: 1.6K Summary: Dating Nacho would include…  English is not my main language, if I make any spelling mistakes please let me know so I can improve my writing! AO3 link! SFW version

Nacho is not the relationship type of guy.

He is scared of commitment, but most of all scared of hurting you.

If he is with you, it’s probably more of a Friends with benefits/No strings attached kind of situationship.

Sure he can be your friend and have sex with you - nothing more tho.

Nacho is more of a dom.

I feel like he’s a switch, but that's a side he hasn’t really explored, and would take some convincing for him to do so.

He likes being in charge and on top of his partner

It gives him a sense of control and he feels relaxed when he has you completely at his mercy

Buuuut… 👀

If he REALLY trusts and loves you

Homeboy will let you be on top sometimes. More about that later…

 When having sex with him, he is more of a “fast and rough”-guy

Will have you totally slutted out for him, begging for his touch

He is turned on by your submission and just how much he can dominate you if he wants to

His favorite position to take you in being doggy.

He loves having you on all fours and being able to thrust into you from behind

And he gets to stare at your ass the entire time without shame ;)

And he can give you light spanks on your ass etc…

I feel like he def is an ass guy

Which is the second reason he loves taking you from behind.

When he’s behind you he has full control of pace and is in a powerful position

He is very touchy during sex and likes grabbing your ass, thighs and hips, often with the intention of leaving marks

Speaking of leaving marks…

When he kisses your body, he does so to leave hickeys, and will be like “Oops, didn’t mean for that to happen lmao”

In a way, he likes claiming you

But he wouldn’t let you do the same to him.

Homeboy got them double standards

He is very loud in bed, cussing a lot, grunting and a few moans

He likes it when you are loud too.

Would probably be offended if you weren’t loud, and only fuck you even harder to make you react lmao

Nacho has a thing for degradation, but only when it comes to you.

If you are into that, he won’t hesitate to call you slut, bitch etc…

But he can also praise you during

“Look at you, taking my cock so well”“That’s it, you’re fucking amazing.”

He won't give you pet names tho, he finds it weird.

He prefers receiving oral.

He might give it to you, but then it’s mostly to “return the favor”

He’s not that enthusiastic when giving

Will make sure he does the job and makes you satisfied, because you deserve to feel good

But when receiving?

He L O V E S  I T

What can he say? It’s a good stress relief 

He just needs to sit down and have you do all the work

He’s not a head pusher, he lets you do things in your own pace

But if it’s too slow or “not good enough”, he’s not shy to guide you

Telling you how to move your mouth, where and when to use tongue

Your gagging is just a bonus to him.

Sorry but not that good at aftercare 😭

He might cuddle you, or give a few kisses

Or just lay in bed talking for a bit

After that? 

He either leaves to go to his place

If it’s late and he’s tired, he stays. But he just ends up falling asleep in your bed

Not the kind of person that cares if the two of you have left a mess. Why would it matter? 

Now for the second part of these headcanons… 👀

Nacho falling in love is rare

But when he does… Oh boy.

You’re his everything, and your sex life with him is totally different from how it used to be.

I feel like he totally acts different towards his FWB and someone he’s in love with

He’ll literally worship you

Sure he’s more of a dom and likes being on top

But if you insist on changing that, he’d be ok with it.

At first he hates the thought of being submissive

But something about seeing you on top of him, having him totally at your mercy…

Oh how the tables have turned.

And he loves it.

He likes how hot and powerful you look

He gets needy AF

Which gives you a good opportunity to be a tease 👀

Enough teasing and he will whimper for you even ;)

Of course he still likes being dominant, especially if you are submissive

But being dominated is nice for change sometimes…

A bit of a service top

He likes it when you boss him around and tell him what to do

The things he does when he’s on top of you - he does for your pleasure rather than for his own. 

Checks in on you a lot, whispering praise and lots of kisses

Fuck it, he even has pet names for you.

Nacho likes giving you spanish pet names, for example: Amorcito, Amor, Cariño

He finds it adorable when you’re flustered and always finds ways to make you that way

Whether it’s with words or touch.. He’ll do it

And tell you how fucking adorable you look

Homeboy is down bad for you

Legit is horny for you almost all the time and not shy to show it.

It’s enough with you wearing something that shows off skin, calling him a pet name or just being sweet to him… He just can’t help it!

He prefers to have sex at home, so he can make you scream his name as he claims you as his

But if his desires are urgent, or if he gets a boner in public etc…

He will take you right there and then.

You’re at some restaurant? At a cafe? Too fucking bad.

He knows how to rile you up, too.

Either by whispering dirty things to you, like telling you how badly he wants to fuck you, how hot you look…

Or simply with touch. 

Squeezing your thigh, having his fingers against the button on your jeans, his cold fingers finding their way into your shirt… You name it

Or his personal favorite:

Guiding your hand towards his crotch, having you gently rub his erection. “See what you do to me, amorcito?” AHDHJASHAD BYE- 🤤

He’ll grab your hand and lead you to the bathroom

But he got some class, at least. So if you’re too loud, he shuts you up, either with his palm against your lips, or with his fingers in your mouth.

He’ll fuck you against the wall while kissing your neck and whispering his love and devotion for you

He finds it entertaining to watch you wobble out of the bathroom after a quickie

…Which is usually just a warm up/appetizer of what’s to come once home ;)

He loves handjobs, especially cuddling up to you in the couch, watching a movie and then sliding his hand into your pants

Or his personal favorite - having you stroke his cock under the blanket whilst watching a movie with his hand around you, pretending nothing is happening…

He likes long, passionate sessions.

Really driving you wild with a combination of being rough and gentle, loving and mean… 

Nacho makes foreplay a big part of sex with you.

He wants to really warm you up and tease you

Likes it when you beg for his cock and to feel him

All I’m gonna say is, you need the warm-up, iykyk 🤭

Although, if he is in a hurry or just frustrated, he doesn’t mind a quickie.

Quickies with him leaves you breathless and with trembling legs “Gotta get to work, see you tonight, amorcito.” He’ll say, and give you a quick kiss before walking away, leaving you longing for more lmao

Oral remains the same as with a FWB

He prefers receiving but happily gives it too. 

But he’s actually more keen to making sure you enjoy receiving it

If he truly loves you, he could spend hours between your legs

E Y E  C O N T A C T

I’m sorry but his eyes??? I’m too autistic for eye contact but DAMN I could stare into his eyes all day &lt;3

He’s very observative to your reactions and it gets him going to see you enjoy his tongue and lips

Probably would let you sit on his face ngl

When you give him head, he’s extra praising

Keeps his hand on the back of your head or on your chin

As a supportive gesture

He loves watching your mouth full of his cock

He is extra loud to let you know you’re doing well

He actually likes and prioritizes aftercare 

He has you cuddled up to him

His fav cuddle position is having your head on his chest, whilst he rubs your back with his hands

Since he tends to get rough when he’s dominating you, he’s keen to make sure you’re alright and not feeling any discomfort.

Happily runs you a bath - and happily joins you, too ;)

If it’s nighttime, he’ll hold you tightly in his arms, telling you how much he loves you etc…

Basically? Very passionate and loving towards someone he’s in love with.

NACHO PLEASE LET ME LOVE YOU AHHH 😭💕 Did I just make a 1.6K words smut headcanons for this gorgeous damn man? Yes. 0 regrets. <3

[gabessquishytum]

Fun fact about growing up in a large family is that sometimes, siblings feel left out and there is only so much parent to go around. Cue Nepo CEO Dream not wanting to have a big family. He just has too much work and doesn't want to put any of his future children through that. He will always love all of his children and he wants them to know and feel that! Three is more than enough.

Hob is fine with this, he didn't have too many siblings, but just being around Dream's family has shown him how big of a headache large families can be. They have one child and Dream happily takes the time to properly lavish his baby with attention while also figuring out how to balance his work and home life. He has baby #2 two years after his first and then baby three comes two years after that.

At first, he was overjoyed. Hob has really stepped up to care for his monstrously large children and is the best dad. Better than his own by a long shot. The company is doing great and he finds himself comfortable with where his life is. But there's a problem. After he gave birth to baby #3, Dream wanted a hysterectomy. He set the appointment and tried to listen to his doctor carefully. No sex for a month before surgery and since he was advised not to restart his birth control until 6 weeks after the birth, it works out. It's only four weeks, they've gone longer than that.

But with the new baby and a shift into work from home, he's spent a lot more private time with Hob than he ever has before. I don't think I need to be the one to tell you how sexy Hob looks domesticated. How alluring he looks while his daughter puts fake makeup and glitter on his face and ties his hair into pigtails. Or when he holds their son to his chest and sings him a lullaby late at night.

Baby #4 comes at the checkup prior to surgery. He gets a stern talking to by the doctor and a lot of sly looks from Hob, but whatever. Four babies is a lot, but it's not too bad. He manage!

He can't. Babies #5 and #6 come just ten months shy of their older sibling. What can he say? He didn't expect twins! And the kids were all asleep and really when were they ever gonna get the opportunity to have sex again?

After that, he bites the bullet and just accepts his large family, and goes back on the implant. Who knew six children could be such a handful? Dream, Dream knew but he wouldn't change it for anything

- 🤜 Anon

NEPO CEO PREGNANT DREAM AU!!! YAY!!

Oh Dream. He's trying his best out there. He should have taken Hob up on the offer of getting a vasectomy buuuut. He didn't.

Honestly he feels like he and Hob are probably equally to blame, it's not even like he can lay all the blame on his husband. As soon as his babies get out of the newborn phase, Dream feels himself getting broody all over again. It's like he manages to sabotage his best efforts at safe sex - oh no, the condoms got old and expired, oops he gripped Hob so hard around the hips that he couldn't pull out, oops... Hob's stupid wonder-sperm and great genetics just kinda sealed the deal every time. And it's not like he complains when Dream comes stomping out of the bathroom with another fistful of positive pregnancy tests.

The twins were perhaps inevitable, since they run in Dream’s family, and poor Dream really does decide that this is his final pregnancy. TWO of Hob’s big bouncy 90th percentile babies inside him at once really is the limit of what he can handle, and Hob agrees. As sexy as it was seeing Dream get absolutely massive, he was also too exhausted to get off the couch for 3 months, and Hob doesn't want to see his darling like that again.

And Dream wants to enjoy his house-husband in all his glory. When he gets horny about Hob looking all sleepy with spitup on his jumper, Dream firmly smacks himself on the wrist and consoles himself with kissing Hob and running off to the bathroom.

Then again, in 10 years time, Dream will still be fertile. Maybe they'll have time and energy for one more baby (and Dream’s ankles might finally have become un-swollen).

[flwersgarden]

What if Yandere Five has a girlfriend similar to Cassie from the show Euphoria , like she gets up at 4 am to do skincare and makeup and get dressed up , all for him 🤔

note: okay i know i said that i stopped writing for five but BROOOO this request altered something inside of me and i HAD to write it — made it into headcanons, hope you like it!

yandere!five x female!reader who dolls up for him headcanons.

“ it's the thought that counts. ”

okay, for starters, he loves it.

LET'S BE FOR REAL.

fine, he does not like that you take hours of your sleep time to do it— you are perfect the way you are, my love!

buuuut, he does enjoy the soft feeling of your hair against his cheek whenever he hugs you or how good you smell.

at first, he felt weird when you mentioned how your hair was a mess to brush at- FOUR FUCKING AM?????

he thought he was doing something wrong when you said you did it for him, perhaps he said something that made you do those things at such an ungodly hour even if that wasn't his intention!

he told you it was something common of him to say mean and harsh things, yes, but never to you!!!

but when you explained (reassured him) that you actually liked to do it for him made him a bit... confused.

he never thought in changing his appearance for you, well, after all, you had to love him for who he was (you like it or not.)

so at first he wasn't so accepting of it.

he would sometimes sleep at your place to avoid you from waking up and doing your 'skincare routine' (“ skincare what? ”) at three am because, babygirl, you need to sleep, you need to dream happy beautiful-

HOW ARE YOU ALREADY AWAKE??? HE TURNED OFF EVERY ALARM????

he is so dumb at this it's almost hilarious, the only thing stopping you from bursting out laughing is his serious face as he scolds you for it and how red his face gets at the thought of you not having your rightful hours of sleep.

when he realized that no matter how much he tried you still woke up and did your skincare and makeup routine as every other regular day, he accepted it.

“ at least promise me that you'll sleep more time on the weekends and that you won't overwork yourself- ”

“ okaaaaay fiveeee. ”

and then he grew to love it.

he actually likes how you find the effort in it non existent because you like to look good for him.

he also liked to brag about it to his siblings.

“ oh yeah?! well my girl just got a new peach face mask! ”

...

...

“ five, we're discussing who killed klaus' fish. ”

like yeah maybe don't let the idea go that far to his head.

“ mind if i leave? gotta be at my baby at 8. ”

“ for what? ”

he smiles and turns around. “ skincare. ”

he hops out viktor's apartment with a bright smile.

viktor stands for a few more seconds before frowning. “ what. ”

he is genuinely so adorable the moment you ask. him if he would like to try some of your skincare products.

although, because he is kind of an asshole (he can't help it) he would at first shake his head and say no.

but after a minute he would just say “ fine. ” while hiding the biggest smile known to mankind.

he would try to be an asshole while you take the face mask out of his package.

like hehe babeee don't put that face mask on meeeee hehehehe stawpp oh my gawdddd-

he loves to be taken care of once in a while so you bet your cute little ass that he eats the skincare treatment up.

“ lemon or orange? ”

five pouts as he thinks over, scanning the packs of facemasks in your hands while your sitting with one if your legs on each side of his body; his hands on your waist.

“ orange. ”

“ great choice! ”

his siblings make fun of him for 'growing soft' but he just shrugs and looks at you, who is showing luther one of your, many, body scents for him to get later.

“ okay, can we just leave this room? i can't stand five's orange smell. ”

“ hey! ”

anyways!!!

in conclusion, as long as you don't find it tiring or overwhelming, five would continue to support you.

he would even wake up at the same time as you just so he could see you carefully applying your makeup (even though he is just opening one eye and can barely stand up so he sits on the toilet).

it's the thought that counts tho!!!

and he loves you the same, with skincare and makeup, with nothing on your face, with acné scars or a big pimple on your nose.

he would still say you are the most beautiful and pretty girl he has ever seen.

“ you mean it? ” you ask with those doe eyes five loves with all of his stoic heart.

he smiles as he nods. “ i mean it. ”

you can just turn him into the biggest simp out there he swears.

just don't change because of him.

he loves you the same, you know that, don't you, sweetheart?

[pearlescentpearl]

I ended up getting three asks about the Morgoth’s Evil Cats thing so instead of answering the same question three times I shall simply make one big post

@theghostinthemargins @ymfingsteadilyon

Okay, so we’re all aware of Tevildo right? Evil cat Maia? How aware are we of Miaulë (female, Tevildo’s cook), Umuiyan (male, doorkeeper for Tevildo), and Oikeroi (male, warrior under Tevildo)?

If you weren’t, now you are

Anyway. Imagine, if you will, being a quartet of cats who somehow survived the Valar sieging Melkor’s fortresses, and the guy standing in charge in the rubble is some self-important dog person who free roams his fucking werewolves all over the place. You can no longer thrive in this household, you are packing your little rucksacks and leaving.

Leaving where? Well... you guess you’ll go sneak into Valinor and check on the Big Boss, you were pretty happy under his employ once upon a time. But the only sneaky way in is, uh... the Helcaraxë. Now, the Big Boss may make crossing it look easy enough but he invented cold! Most Ainu don’t actually care for it no matter how well they endure it.

So now you’re in Araman and you have to wear the guise of normal ass cats or risk being discovered and captured as spies. Which would be personally very inconvenient. So now you’re a very bedraggled quartet of Maia cats by the time you get to the only opening in the Pelóri; the Calacirya where Tirion-upon-Túna lies.

And this is what Maitimo finds while out hiking, and either natural elven compassion for living creatures, or perhaps just plain conditioned reflex from wee brothers (mostly Tyelko) bringing home pathetic injured animals for nursing, has him going, awww poor lil guys, you want some help? And Tevildo and co. normally would gut him on principle buuuut... Maitimo has food. And gentle hands. Is practically a space heater with his inner fire. Plus, he’s carrying them up to Tirion, so fine, whatever, they agree he’s their new servant now. They can just recover in his home real quick and then carry on with their quest.

Naturally, they feel no inclination to leave where they’re being pampered with fresh fish, and chin scritches, and brushies, and all the praise they deserve, and also Laurelin beams are amazing to sleep in? What the hell, there were no Laurelin beams under Big Boss!

As it turns out, evil cat behavior is nigh indistinguishable from normal needy, high strung, asshole cat behavior.

Picture, if you will, the look on Melkor’s face the first time he enters Finwë’s palace, and there is Maitimo pinned to a couch in a Laurelin beam by Melkor’s evil cats, what the hell.

Tevildo and co. are not going back to work under a guy who doesn’t give fish, or chin scritches, or warm beams of light to sleep in, no sir. Shove it up your ass, Big Not-Boss.

Melkor: Oh, that’s just rich. When I demand special treatment, it’s unfair. When I enslave elves, it’s evil. When I make people bleed to express my displeasure, it’s cruel. But when you four do it--

Tevildo and co.: *yawn* Should have been a cat 🙄

Naturally, when Melkor’s scheming starts interfering in their Maitimo time, something has to be done about Melkor once and for all

[makoodles]

Okay so I never done this before but my mind won't let me sleep until I do this.

Thoughts only filled with Tsu'tey from tìtunu and his human mate, mind filled with her so heavily pregnant, and the day they found out Jakesully throw a party in their Honor, the people excited for their strongest warrior and his sky mate, the young warriors, and children much to Tsu'tey disdain would feel her stomach and ask questions about mating and the soon to form baby.

I imagine she would be craving, all kinds of fruits and meat so Tsu'try being the amazing mate that he is, asks (forces) the scientists to make some edible meat for her, the smile on her face when he showed her the meat on a leaf, almost made a tiny smile on his lips, and his tail slowly wags against the forest floor. Oh and her mood swings! Tsu'tey thought nothing could make him afraid after he became an official warrior.

he was proven wrong, as his little mate glared up at him with angry tears, a snarl behind her mask, her fists clenched he knew he fucked up, all he did was comment on her growing weight for the baby, a good sign for a healthy child but his mate took it the wrong way ( lol Imagine spider looking between his parents waiting from drama to unfold on his own little bed) let's just say he doesn't love the silent treatment.

She would get mad at him for small things but oh, when she acted like she, herself was in heat, made it all worth the headaches and confusion, her sweet begs of his thick blue cock, panting like there was no air in her lungs like she was dying and he was her saving grace.

.....

"Please Tsu'tey, don't tease!" you pleaded looking back at your mate, his chest and abdomen against your back, Tsu'tey only smirked and huffed as he readied his cock with lube, his large tip poking your sloppy wet pussy.

"Beg, more," he grunted as his four-fingered fist pumped his dick, causing small pre-cum to build against your core "Please! I need you!" you sobbed behind your mask, "Alright." He kissed your forehead and slowly enter your weeping cunt

"I will give you what you wish."

-Pink rose anon

OHHHHHH!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!

the idea of tsu'tey dancing around his little pregnant human mate, so desperate to keep her happy in an attempt to avoid her ire, is so fucking cuuuuuute!!! he's so damn bewildered by your mood swings and just how big your emotions are as your hormones surge, but he takes it all in his stride! seeing such a huge, strong warrior tip-toeing around his tiny mate would be so comical, and you can bet that the others in the clan are watching with poorly concealed amusement

BUUUUT you can bet that the horny swings make up for all of the crying and shouting. he'd be such a dick about it though, taking so much pleasure from making you writhe and beg as penance for being so bratty all the time. don't get me wrong though, he'll be only too delighted to give you exactly what you demand

[thatgoblin]

~::~ Summary: After a drunken night with a man name John, Reader finds herself in a position they had never thought they would be in. ~::~ Fem!Reader, 1st POV.

[WARNINGS: Brief pelvic exam, swearing, grief, sibling death, family issues, vague speak of abortion, cursing, unplanned pregnancy, vague-ish descriptions of drunk sex]

::AN-This is just part one of the series, I'll go through the whole pregnancy and maybe after. Enjoy!::

Tequila was always responsible for my mistakes. I should have kept my promise of never having more than one shot, but that quickly went out the window when I bumped into him. He was tall and handsome and smelled of scotch and tobacco. I was pretty sure I complimented his mutton chops and that’s how it started. A few beers and more than a couple of shots later, I was pressed against his door as we kissed like drunk college students during Rush Week. Eventually we made it into his house with giggles and drunk stumbling, at least getting to his bed before the main event. 

I was going to have beard burn by the end, but that wasn’t important. What was important was that I was half undressed as the man ate me out like he’d been starving for it. While I don’t remember every single detail, the broad strokes of the night were there, I knew I had had a good time at least. It probably wasn’t the olympic level of sex I thought it was at the time, it was still pretty good. The next morning, he made me coffee, told me his name was John and if I ever wanted to have another fun night again to give him a call.

“So, why haven’t you called him?” My friend Jesse asked as we sat at a table in a cafe, once I'd finished telling him about John. I had called him and asked for some adult talk because holy shit did I need it. 

“Because I honestly forgot, but now I really do need to call him buuuut I lost his number,” I said. 

“Oh no, did you get the clap?” He asked, shirking away.

“Worse,” I groaned, leaning back in my seat. 

“Ew, herpes?” He asked, scrunching his face up.

“Even worse,” I said, putting a hand to my belly. “A lot more noticeable than herpes in the next few months.” 

“Oh. . . Oh shit,” he said, raising his brows. “I mean, are you sure it’s his?”

“I’ve only slept with one person in the last four months thanks to my ex, so yeah, I’m sure it’s John’s,” I grumbled. I knew that would be everyone's question, probably even John's, but it still didn't feel great to hear.

“Sorry, just checking,” he said, holding up his hands. “So what are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. It’s. . . It’s still early and it’s not like he HAS to know as I’m not sure I want to keep it,” I said, poking my sponge cake with a fork. “I don’t even want kids. I never planned on it, not even with Paul and he was my longest relationship.”

“Oh Paul,” Jesse said wistfully. “It’s all his fault that this happened. If he hadn’t cheated on you so many times, then you wouldn’t have been looking for a rebound.”

“Well the tequila didn’t help either,” I snorted. “Doesn’t make a difference. I’ve still got to make a decision and it’s getting close to the deadline for the permanent one.”

“Have you gone to a doctor yet?” Jesse asked.

“Yeah, right after I took the pee test at home. I wanted to make sure so I didn’t panic over nothing,” I said. “They said I’m about 7 weeks along. I didn’t want to do any tests other than the blood lab, and since I could give them the date of my last encounter, they were able to figure it out from there.”

“Man, that’s wild. Have you told anyone else? Your family?”

“Absolutely the fuck not,” I choked out as I sat up. “They will never know if I can help it. No matter the outcome, they are not in my life for a reason.”

“Because they’re fucking psychotic?”

“Because they’re fucking psychotic. Damn right,” I huffed. It had been so long since I’d had any contact with my family. My parents were still back in Inverness for all I knew and my older brother was somewhere with the military. Last I had heard was that he’d made it to Sergeant in SAS and that was because I had run into an old friend from school. It had felt so sad to find out through gossip essentially. Someone I had been so close to growing up was now a complete stranger.

“So, if you keep it, can I be the Daddy?” Jesse asked with a grin.

“Jesse, you can barely keep your rabbit alive, I’m not letting you parent my fake plants let alone anything that comes out of me,” I groaned, shifting to sit up.

“Hey, Sassafras is doing amazing and he’s even getting a brother soon. Don’t be bad mouthing my babies,” Jesse pouted. 

“Sorry, sorry,” I said, rubbing my face. “I shouldn’t be taking the stress out on you. That’s not fair and I’m sorry.”

“Those hormones are messing you up, BAD,” he said. 

“Yeah, they are. I don’t get sick at least, but the mood swings are giving even ME whiplash." I was silent for a moment, contemplating the possibility of telling John. The good, the bad, and the more than likely to happen heart break if I made an attempt to have something outside of our one night stand. 

Paul had done a number on me. We’d been together since secondary school on and off, but the last four years we had become so close and in tune with each other. We could tell when the other needed something without saying anything and were genuinely happy where we were. I had been at least. It turns out he’d been fucking some hen from his work the entire time and had gotten her pregnant. When that happened, a switch had flipped and I didn’t know the man anymore. He moved out when I had gone to work one day, leaving me in a lurch with rent and a place that I had so many happy memories with him in. 

"Maybe it’s better if I just don’t tell him,” I said softly, shaking my head. “I mean, we could be really bad together. All I know is that he’s in the military and is never around. If I wanna raise anything, I want my partner to be there with me and I already hate being alone. I’d probably lose my mind if it was just me and it on our own. Besides, he probably doesn’t want something like this. Otherwise he’d have it by now.” The man was good looking, funny, and with a military career, he could have married someone and had kids with them by now. 

“True, but what if you guys work really well together?” 

I went quiet, trying not to let a fantasy of me and John form. Paul proved that it doesn’t matter how long you were with someone or how close you got, they will still break your heart when you least expect it and act like it was nothing. 

“Don’t let him ruin your future, Boo,” Jesse said, reaching over to take my hand. “He’s taken enough from you. There’s no reason to let him have more.”

“I know,” I said softly, squeezing his hand. “I just wish I knew what to do. If someone could tell me for sure if me and John would work out or not, that would be amazing.”

“Well, I’m sorry that I left my crystal ball at home,” he said, letting go. “But maybe give it a try. At least you can say you gave it a go.”

“Yeah, but I have to find the guy first and I don’t remember his number or where he lives,” I said. 

“Well, how about putting that detective brain of yours to work? You watch all those crime dramas, why not use it in real life?” He asked.

“Because this is real life and not DCI Banks,” I said, giving him a pointed look.

“Just retrace your steps. Do you remember the bar you met him at? Maybe he’s a regular,” Jesse said, rolling his eyes. 

“True. That’s actually a really good idea,” I said, tapping my chin in thought. “I mostly remember what he looks like too. Well more than mostly, I could probably pick him out in a lineup. He was really good looking.”

“Oh yeah, that’s definitely going to help you find him. Just ask the bartender for the really good looking guy,” Jesse snickered.

“Shush. Well, it seems that the, uh, Shit, what do I call it?” I asked. 

“Are you asking me what to call the fetus inside you?” Jesse asked, raising his brows. 

“Yeah.”

“Just call it Bug. You know? Or even Bean. It’s like, what, the size of a grape?”

“Little smaller. I think the internet said it was the size of a blueberry.”

“That would be cute, but it also sounds like a safeword,” Jesse snickered.

“English people do really like beans,” I said. “Let’s go with Bean.”

“You’re English too!” Jesse cackled.

“No I’m not! I’m Scottish! There’s a difference!” I cried, throwing a napkin at his face that he easily caught. “Fucking American with your Mountain Man accent telling me I’m English. My Last name is MacTavish, that’s not fucking English.”

“I’m Appalachin, Darlin’. I’m not just any Mountain Man,” Jesse grinned. 

“I’ll be sending you back by punting you over the ocean if you don’t knock it the fuck off,” I hissed. 

“The mood swings are going to be killer with you,” Jesse snickered.

“Don’t,” I sighed. “Just don’t. But it seems I'm keeping the Bean after all."

“Good luck. I mean it. Being a single parent ain’t easy, but you’re not on your own with this. Even without John, okay?” He said, reaching over to squeeze my hand again. 

A few days after my lunch with Jesse, I was at the bar that I had originally found John at. It was packed for a Thursday night and the thick smell of alcohol was making me nauseous. Getting to the bar, I flagged down the bartender in hopes they would know him.

“What can I get ya, Love?” He asked, leaning in so he could hear me. 

“I’m actually looking for someone,” I said, climbing up to kneel in the seat so I could lean over the bar. “I don’t know if he’s a regular or not, but I figured I’d try.”

“Sure, what’s his name?”

“John. I don’t have a last name, but he’s tall and built, has dark sandy hair with a mutton chops beard. I think he’s in the military,” I said.

“Oh yeah! John Price! He and his men are regulars,” the bartender nodded. “Just saw him a few days ago actually. What do you want him for?”

“Well, I’ve got something for him that he left when I last saw him and I only got his first name and haven’t been able to find him,” I said. “You wouldn’t happen to know where I could find him other than here, could you?”

“Sorry, I only know him from here. Maybe if you come back tomorrow he might be here. He usually shows up a bit earlier than this,” the man said with a shrug. I nodded and thanked him, giving him a few quid for the help. I decided that I could hang around and see if he still shows up that night while I dug around to see what I could find on social media. 

Getting a Shirly Temple, I grabbed a corner seat and spent about an hour trying to find him online, but the man was a ghost. Nothing. No Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, not even a LinkedIn. What was I supposed to do? Give my number to the bartender and hope he remembered to give it to John? That is if he would. He’d probably just toss it. There was no way I was leaving my number on a board in hopes he’d see it. That was how I would end up on a true crime Youtube channel. 

About to call it a night and escape the bar that was building a headache in the base of my skull, I shot a text to Jesse to let him know I tried the bar and at least got a last name. As I turned to put my phone in my purse, the chair opposite of me was pulled out. Looking up, I couldn’t believe my dumb luck.

“Heard you were looking for me,” John said with a chuckle. His deep, gravelly voice was just like I remembered it as he was grunting in my ear while he-

“Yes, I am,” I said with a nervous laugh. “I, uh, know that it’s been a while since we last saw one another and I planned to call you, but I lost your number.”

“You know you don’t have to make up a story if you want to have a pint with me,” he said, a soft smile peeked from under his whiskers. 

“Oh, no, I really lost your number,” I said, straightening up in my chair. “I also have the memory of a goldfish, so when I realized I had lost it, it was too late. But you’re here now.”

“That I am,” he said, nodding with a hum. Almost getting completely lost in his shining blue eyes, I quickly gave him my full name. 

It was very clear as to why I had started to flirt with him in the first place. The way he looked at me, making me feel like he knew exactly what he wanted and it was me. 

“It’s nice to get a full name, after almost two months,” he said. “It’s lovely to meet you, I’m John Price.” He held out his hand for me to shake and damn it, I was melting into his touch. His hand was warm and rough, but firm. “So, were you seeking me out for an introduction or maybe I could buy you a drink?”

“Uh, I was actually looking for you because. . . Well. . .” It felt like the words were getting stuck in my throat, trying to choke me to make me leave and pretend nothing happened. 

“You want another go where we’re a bit more sober and able to have more fun?” John offered with a wink as he leaned forward to sip his beer he’d brought over with him.

“I’m pregnant,” I blurted out. He furrowed his brow, staring at me.

“Congratulations?” He asked slowly.

“That’s why I was looking for you,” I said with a heavy sigh. “I’m pregnant and about 7 weeks along. If you do the math. . .”

“I see,” he said, nodding. Sitting back in his chair, he fiddled with a coaster, staying quiet for a moment. I didn’t want to push it or scare him, so I was patient. “And you’re sure it’s mine?” 

I had prepared myself for that question, made sure it wouldn’t bother me by asking myself that same thing over and over, but hearing his tone and seeing that flash of doubt on his face made me want to hide in shame. I didn’t shame people for how many people they had slept with and while I didn’t have sex with strangers, it felt like suddenly I was this ‘loose’ person that was trying to get every single dick they could and use the system to get free stuff. The next nine months were going to be hell on my body, but sure, I only did it for free stuff and to control a man I had met ONCE.

“You’re the only person I’ve slept with in the last four months. So, yeah. I’m very sure,” I said, feeling my chest start to tighten. Anxiety began to twist my stomach like I was wringing my hands under the table. “I don’t want anything,” I added, nearly choking on my own spit. “I mean, I don’t want you to feel like you owe me or the Bean anything. I just wanted you to know, so if you did want to participate at all, you could. If you don’t want to, that’s fine. Again, I just thought that you had a right to know.”

“That did go through my mind,” John said with hesitation. “I know you said you don’t want anything, but it wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t help out at all. A support check at least.”

“That. . . That’s up to you. I’m not going to take you to court over it. I figured if you ever want a relationship with the Bean, then we can work something out. I’ll keep you updated on anything you want to know or I can just leave you alone,” I said. That part was hard. I didn’t want to be a single mum and I didn’t want to be alone, but I also didn’t know John. How many relationships went sour because two people had a kid and chose to stay together instead of separate because they thought it would be better for the kid? Too many. 

“I think I’d like to know,” he said, looking up from the coaster to me. “I’d like to be involved as much as I can be.”

“Okay,” I said, twisting my napkin more. “Okay, we can do that. Um, I have a doctor’s appointment next week. If you want, you can come. It’s just a general check up.” 

“Yeah, I can do that. Just let me know the time and place. Do you want to meet there or I can pick you up?” He offered, that look coming back again. John knew what he wanted, but I couldn’t tell if it was me or the Bean. That wasn’t something I thought I would need to worry about. Would he think I wasn’t fit to be a parent by myself? Did he have family that could raise the Bean and think it would be better if they did? The prospect of being betrayed to have the Bean taken away was suddenly very real and terrifying.

“We can meet there. Here’s my number, so you can keep it and I can’t lose it again,” I said, sliding my phone over to show him my number. He added my number to his phone before adding his to mine then sliding it back to me. “I’ll go ahead and send you the details. Um, okay, I just realized how, well, how silly this sounds, especially after me giving you my information, but I just thought of it. You aren’t a crazed serial killer, are you?”

John let out a bark of a laugh, his shoulders shaking as he chuckled. “No, no. Nothing like that. I’m just a captain in SAS.” 

“That’s what it was,” I groaned. “I knew it was military, but I couldn’t remember exactly what it was.”

“To be fair, I didn’t exactly tell you,” he said, leaning forward again, much more relaxed by my ice breaker question. “So what is it that you do?”

“I’m a restaurant manager for an Italian place on the south side of town. Ciao Bella.”

“I’ve heard of the place. Always good things. I haven’t eaten there before, but now I might,” John said. 

“It’s a pretty good place. I recommend it and not just because I work there.”

The longer we talked, the more comfortable I felt with him. I still wasn't sure if he wanted me or the Bean, but it was starting to look like both of us. When I was ready to go home, he offered to drive me home and when I declined, not for lack of him trying, he walked me out to hail me a taxi. There was a bit of awkwardness at the good night part. Did we kiss? Did we high five or wave? In the end, I gave him a one armed side hug that he happily returned. 

Once I was in the taxi and down the street, my phone buzzed with a message. 

'I forgot to ask, but why do you call the baby The Bean?' I snorted and shook my head. 

'Because you English really like beans and that's the size of it right now.'

'You're English too.'

'No, I'm Scottish! There's a difference!'

'You’re right. Out of curiosity, are you related to or know a Johnny MacTavish?'

Fuck.

'Is he from Inverness, Scotland?'

'Yes. You know him?'

I had screwed up. I had seriously screwed up. I couldn't bring myself to answer him, not even when he called once I got home. It had been almost a decade and I still couldn't bear to think of him. He was supposed to be the good one. He was supposed to help me and comfort me and instead he abandoned me. If John knew him then I couldn't be around John. I couldn’t put myself or the Bean through what I had gone through the last time I’d seen him.

Once inside my flat and my door locked, I turned off my phone so I didn't have to listen to it buzz with calls and messages. How could I explain to him even the very basics to begin with? I couldn't without giving away every dirty, dark detail of why I cut him out of my life to begin with. 

Laying in bed as I felt sick, I couldn't help but think that I made a mistake. I never should have looked for John and I never should have told him. It could have been dealt with quietly and quickly and I wouldn't be so attached to it. Wrapping my arms around my belly, I started to cry. Why did I try and do the ‘right thing’ for myself? It never worked out, it wouldn’t be any different from Paul. He’d find out and he’d either leave or take the Bean or worse, would make me believe he was a good person till I truly needed him and it turned out to be a lie the whole time.

When I had ghosted John, I don’t know why I thought he’d just disappear. Why would he, after finding out I’m pregnant with his Bean, not do anything to track me down and make sure I wasn’t dead in the gutter or smuggled to another counter? While I had no information to go off of to find him other than a bar, he had plenty for me. Between my phone number, my place of work, all the information on my social media, and the doctor’s appointment that I had given the details to, I was somehow surprised to find him waiting for me at the front of the clinic the day of my appointment. It had been almost a full week since I’d seen him and had been ignoring his calls and texts in hopes he’d either talk to Johnny and find out why it was better that way or would just give up. 

“Ah, shit,” I groaned under my breath, seeing him sitting on a bench as I walked down the street from my bus stop. John had already spotted me before I could try and go another way in, giving a wave as he stood up to meet me. 

“Do you want to talk about why you pulled a Houdini on me before or after the appointment?” He asked, meeting me halfway.

“Afterwards. I haven’t eaten today and I don’t have the energy to explain everything in great detail like you’ll want it to be,” I said with a sigh. 

“Why haven’t you eaten?” John asked, frowning a bit.

“I woke up late after pulling a double shift. Turns out when you’re pregnant you get tired much more easily and if you stop moving, you do fall asleep no matter where you are,” I said, rubbing my tired eyes. There were dark circles under my eyes for sure and I probably looked like I had rolled out of bed after a week of doing nothing. My clothes were wrinkled, my trainers dirty, and my hair unwashed for the last week. John meanwhile looked put together and had done everything on his to-do list for the next month in six hours. 

“Alright, yeah. We’ll go for food after this and we can talk,” he said with a nod. Turning, he opened the door for me, letting me lead the way to the receptionist. After checking in, we found a pair of seats together in the corner. As I looked around, I felt more shame creeping up. It was a government run clinic, which meant people who weren’t well off were there and that meant stereotypes. The mum with two kids screaming while pregnant with a third, one who didn’t look older than 15 with her own mother, and one who looked like she had nicotine patches on her arms as she bounced her leg and scowled at the room. It was what I could afford as I didn’t have private insurance and John didn’t seem the type to have been in a place like that before. At least in the UK. 

I began to worry if he was silently judging me, reconsidering everything about me because we were there and not some posh doctor’s office with pleasant music playing softly while pretty people with white, toothy smiles were all around. 

“Ms. MacTavish,” a nurse said from the door to the exam rooms. Standing up, John and I followed. She took my vitals and weighed me before taking us to a small room. 

“Do you want me to hold anything?” He asked softly, minding how the room made our regular voices sound like we were shouting. 

“Oh, yes, thanks,” I said, handing my purse and jacket. I hopped onto the exam table as he held my things, moving his chair closer to the head of the table instead of at my feet. At least he was being polite. We waited a bit in silence, but it was actually comfortable. It was odd, given most people would be talking about anything and everything to avoid the fact that I was about to have to take my pants off and have someone else stick their fingers inside my fanny. 

The doctor came in after a bit, knocking then coming in without an answer from me. She immediately went to wash her hands before looking over my chart, not looking at me yet. “Okay, Ms. McTavis, you are here for a regular pregnancy check up, and is this the father of the child?” She asked, misspeaking my name. The woman looked like she was either going to ask for a manager or call the police on someone for being too loud two houses down. 

“Yes, this is John,” I said, not even bothering to correct her. I probably wouldn’t see her next time, so it didn’t matter.

“And how long have you two been sexually active together?” She asked, continuing to read over my chart and make notes. 

“Um, just once,” I said, earning a raised brow from her. “We had a one night stand. What does that have to do with the visit?”

“Ah, are you sure he’s the father?” She asked, looking down at my chart to write a few things and ignoring my question.

“Yep, the only person I’ve slept with in four months.” This was a nightmare. It was one thing to go through this with just myself, but having John there to see and hear the questions was humiliating. If we had been married or a committed couple, it would be different, but because we weren’t, I was the irresponsible one.

“All it takes is just once with no condom or pill and here you are. Alright, go ahead and take your trousers and pants off and we’ll do a quick pelvic exam.” Instead of leaving the room, she drew a curtain around me after handing me a gown. I just tried to keep any signs of embarrassment to a minimum so we could get through this. 

“I can hold those for you, Love,” John said softly, once I was changed. He was standing up with his eyes down, but holding out his hand for me to give him my clothes. 

“Thanks,” I said in a near whisper, handing him my things before getting back on the table to put my feet in the stirrups. Letting out a breath, the curtain was drawn back and the doctor scooted in on her rolly stool with gloves on and ready to go. “Lube’s a bit cold,” she said, smearing it a bit before pushing in a finger then two. It felt so uncomfortable and hurt slightly, making me even more embarrassed that John was there to see it. She had to adjust my legs, spreading them wider and higher, making it harder on my body as she did the exam. 

This was completely different from him having his head buried between my legs or him seeing me completely naked on top of him. Part of me began to wonder if I was just stupid for offering to have him at appointments with this happening. I had probably scared him off for good. Parents who wanted kids, who were trying for them, this wouldn’t bother them. We had an accident and this was forcing us to be much more intimate in an alien way.

“I need you to stay there for a moment, I forgot to grab something from the supplies,” the doctor said, pulling the curtain so I wouldn’t flash anyone when the door opened. When it closed, I tried to keep my sigh quiet, but again, those fucking rooms made a whisper sound like borderline yelling. The quiet fell over us once more, but this time, John stood up to move his chair closer. Sitting back down, he was right next to the table. He reached up and took my hand in a loose hold, giving it a quick kiss as we waited. If I wasn’t so anxious or ready to throw up, I would have cried at his sweetness. 

Once the doctor came back, she finished her exam and said everything looked good and she’d see me in four weeks. After finishing her job, she closed the door behind her after letting me know to take my time if I needed to and just leave the door open when I left. John stood up, letting go of my hand, to grab some paper towels for me. I quietly thanked him as I cleaned up myself before taking my clothes back to dress. When I was done, he took my hand in his and walked me out of there. 

Outside, I felt better, but only so much. The close interior of the clinic and the chemical smell from disinfectants were not longer trying to smother me along with my embarrassment at least. Now I had to explain everything to John and expect him to be okay with it after making him sit through that?

“If you’d like, I could get you on my health plan and you could go see a different doctor,” he offered as we kept walking. I wasn’t really paying attention to the direction as my hunger was starting to overshadow everything else, my hands getting a bit shaky had him stopping us. He looked over my face as he held both my hands, silently taking stock of where I was at. “Let’s get some food in you before we talk about anything else, yeah?”

“Please,” I said, nearly bursting into tears. Goddamn hormones. Putting his arm around me, he led us to his car to drive us to the nearest restaurant. 

After we were inside and food was ordered, delivered, then devoured, that was when he started to talk again. 

“I meant it earlier,” John said, using a napkin to wipe his face clean of crumbs. “I can put you on my health plan and you’ll be able to go to a different place.”

“I appreciate it, but this is fine,” I said, tearing up pieces of bread to sop up any juices left from my meal. “It would be a mess to change providers and this is the easiest place to get to from my place by bus.”

“You know you can ask me to take you to your appointments. It’s not a problem,” he said, looking over my plate that I practically licked clean. “Want anything else to eat? My treat.”

“I feel like a broken record a bit, but it’s fine. I’m good,” I said, fibbing a bit. Ordering a small portion didn’t exactly work in my favor, but I didn’t feel comfortable relying on him much more than I already had allowed myself to. “As for my appointments, you won’t be able to take me all the time and when I hit 28 weeks I go every other week, then at 36 weeks it’s once a week. It’s a lot to ask of you and I can do it on my own. I promise, I’m an adult.”

“Even adults need help from time to time, besides, I said I wanted to be involved,” he said. When the waitress came around to ask if we wanted anything else, John turned to look at me and waited patiently. The waitress seemed to understand what he was waiting for as she turned to look at me with a sweet smile.

“I’ll have a burger and fries. Adult portions, well done,” I said after a few seconds of panic deliberating. The man seemed unable to stop himself from trying to take care of me as much as possible. That should have been a sign to me that he was a good person and would do anything for me and the Bean. He probably did that to a lot of people around him as well. The waitress took my order with a nod then was off.

“Now, about the health plan,” John said, picking up his mug of coffee. I could see the slight smile he was hiding behind it and wanted to slap it out of his hands. Ugh. He was going to drive me insane with being so nice and helpful.

“As long as I don’t have to marry you or move in with you to be on it,” I said with resignation. 

“Done,” he said. “I’ll get you the paperwork for you to fill out and that’ll be that.” 

“Sounds good,” I said. 

A quiet fell over us as he stared at me and I refused to look at him. I knew what he wanted and until he asked, and even then, I wasn’t going to offer it up. 

“So,” he said, setting his mug down to lean against the table on his elbows. 

“So,” I said, picking up my fork to swing a bit in my fingers as I leaned back in my chair.

“You’re Johnny MacTavish’s little sister?” 

“Depends on who you ask,” I said with a shrug.

“If I were asking you?”

“Then I would say that I don’t have any siblings or immediate family.”

“And if I asked him?” I looked at his words. John was watching me, every movement, every small twitch or tell. The man was waiting for me to lie or to tell him the truth.

“Then he’d tell you he had two younger sisters. One is deceased and the other is one that he and his parents don’t talk to or see,” I said, shifting in my chair. “You didn’t tell him, did you? About me or us or the Bean?”

“No,” John said, shaking his head. “I thought you two might be estranged partners at first, but I did my own digging.”

“Yeah? What’d you find out?” I pulled my legs up in the chair to sit criss cross, unable to keep his gaze for too long. 

“I found out you went to secondary school as Johnny was starting the military and your sister was working at a local shop. Once you graduated, you went a bit wild, I would say. Partying and such. Then your sister died in a drunk driving accident and you disappeared for a bit,” he said. “But I’m still not getting the answer as to why you ran when I mentioned Johnny.”

“That is because he and I don’t speak. I haven’t spoken to him or my parents in almost a decade. Basically since our sister died,” I said, keeping my gaze on the paper straw cover that I was folding. John was quiet, letting me get the words out on my own time. “I had been at a party that night and had been drinking. So, I called Saoirse to come pick me up. All my friends were pretty pissed at the time, so I thought I was doing the right thing, you know? Not leaving with the drunk people and getting a sober driver.” I swallowed hard, feeling my chest tighten as I tried not to let the images of that not conjure up in my head. I didn’t even get to know what happened fully till my cousin Mike told me and that was nearly two days later. 

He and my other cousin Seamus were the only family I still considered to be family. They were military like Johnny, special forces in SAS, but they were older. Mike was nearly 60 and Seamus was pushing mid 40s, but they had always been kind to me and never treated me differently. Especially Mike. He’d send presents for Christmas and my birthday, things I actually wanted while my parents would give me the bland socks or clothes that I hated. He still did when he could. All he had were his brother Paulie left as his parents were gone with no spouse or kids of his own. Mike got me through the grieving, but he never spoke up like Saoirse did. 

“She was on her way there when one of the guys that was at the party left, and he hit my sister when he was trying to race someone else that was drunk. When my parents found out where I had been and why she had been there, they blamed me for her death. Johnny wasn’t around much because he was off doing military stuff, so the only story he got was from them. I never got to explain to him what happened or find out what our parents told him. He wouldn’t look at me even at the funeral when the family was gathered together. I ended up drunk halfway through and left. No one followed me aside from my cousin Mike. He let me stay with him till I could get my own place. My parents didn’t try to find me or talk to me, neither did Johnny.” 

“I’m so sorry, Love,” he said softly, reaching over to take my hand that was starting to pick at my cuticles. “That must have been. . . That’s so hard.”

“Yeah,” I said with a snort, trying not to focus on it too much and have a melt down before I got my food. “Johnny never reached out to see if what they said was true, just trusted them despite the bullshit they always pulled with me. I have no clue what I did to them, but my parents always treated me differently. It wasn’t outright abuse, but I know they never did like me, let alone love me. Saoirse always stood up for me, whenever they gave me a hard time, she’d call them out on it. Johnny didn’t get to see much of it because he was always busy and he always believed our parents. They had never done anything wrong to him, so how could they be so bad?”

“Have you tried reaching out to him? Try explaining anything to him?” John asked, rubbing my palm. 

“I did once, but he acted like I was. . . Like I was some druggie asking for help to get their next fix. It was maybe six years ago. I saw him in passing in Glasgow. He said I needed to get help and stop asking for money, before I even said anything. Johnny told me that I was an adult and couldn’t live off of mum and dad forever. Apparently our parents had been telling him that I was constantly asking for money for beer or drugs or whatever and he didn’t question it. We used to be really close, you know? Right before he turned 16 and tried to join the military, we’d always be around one another. Him and me and Saoirse. I don’t know what changed, but once he was gone, he wasn’t my brother anymore. Just a stranger who didn’t have time or want for me.” 

Just as it was getting too much to talk about, my food arrived. While I didn’t have that much of an appetite after explaining myself, even leaving a lot out, I still needed to eat. John didn’t ask any more questions as I ate, though I’m sure he had some. Finished with my food in just a few minutes, I let my meal settle before asking my own question. 

“So, how do you know Johnny?” I asked, knowing it was something that we would have to work with instead of around.

“He and I are on the same deployment team, specialized task force if you will,” John said. “We work together and see each other almost daily when we’re not deployed.”

“So this is something that he will find out about,” I said, nodding as anxiety made my stomach roll. 

“I know you two aren’t on good terms, but I can’t hide this from him. I also didn’t know how. . . Sensitive it was,” he said. “I can tell him myself or we can tell him together, but he has to know.”

“Which means my parents will find out as well,” I said, feeling like I was losing any sense of control I had over the situation. It was quickly going into a very upsetting and unwelcome direction. 

“Possibly,” John said. “I know that this is asking a lot from you, from carrying the baby to having to speak with family you cut out of your life, but I want to make this work. I want to be there for our child and you.”

“You’re right this is asking a lot,” I said, nodding as I stood up. “I can’t do this John. I’m not even sorry, but I am being asked to do so much, no I’m being told to do so much. I know you want to be in Bean’s life, but I am sacrificing everything and you get to just waltz in like the hero with the medical plan and the money and the car to take me places. I’m not-I can’t. No, it’s not happening,” I said, walking out. John cursed before following me out. 

“Love, just wait,” he said, grabbing my arm. 

“No! You wait!” I snarled as I turned on him, yanking my arm away. “I am expected to give up everything and sacrifice my sense of safety and self worth for you! Not Bean, but you! Because you work with my brother who I haven’t seen in years and because you want me to go to the nice medical practice and you want me to do this and that and I don’t want to! I don’t have to! So just leave me alone and forget I ever found you again. I’ve been on my own long enough that I can take care of myself and Bean without you.”

“You don’t have to though,” John said. He was frustrated, scrubbing his face as he looked around to see people staring at us because of my outburst. “Just-”

“No, no justs!” I cried. “I want to be left alone. Don’t call me, don’t follow me, don’t message me, nothing!”

He looked so heart broken, so desperate to help, but didn’t know how to handle being denied. Part of me wanted to just break down into tears and hug him, plead for him to never leave me, but I knew. . . I fucking knew that this was a pipe dream. Anything he and I could ever be or have was a fantasy. As soon as Johnny or my parents found out, they’d poison John against me. Help him take the Bean if they wanted to. 

I stared hard at him for a few moments before turning to walk away. I was miles from my place, but I didn’t care. The walk would help me get rid of these feelings and wants and pointless dreams. It should have been clear from the start that I wasn’t going to have a house with a yard and a bright red door with a shining white archway. No 2.5 kids with someone I loved and an old dog or cat we found while dating. I saw who I was at the clinic. The mum with two kids screaming, a third on the way while trying to handle it all on their own. That was my future.

Days passed and John kept his distance. I didn’t attempt to contact him and he did the same. After a while it felt normal again aside from getting sick at the slightest strong smell. I hadn’t escaped the dreaded ‘morning’ sickness after all. Work was hard, but I got through it, even if it meant leaving when the food began to be cooked and coming in early. Hitting 10 weeks felt like it took forever. The mood swings were still awful and my breasts were tender and swollen. I was getting a more noticeable bump too. It was easy to hide, but standing in front of a mirror in my underwear showed that there was indeed a Bean growing inside me. 

The worst part was my blood pressure. Somehow I had very low blood pressure despite the stress I was under. Low enough that if I was still for too long I would start to pass out. A quick clinic visit had me upping my salt intake and water. It wasn’t bad if I was at home, I could just sit in the floor till the feeling passed. I hadn’t experienced it outside of the house, yet. 

Mid week 11, I finally went to the store instead of eating out. I wasn’t feeling great, but I was doing what I could. Pushing the trolly up the bread aisle, I was looking for the one type of bread I knew I could stomach when fate decided that it was time for things to come to a head. 

As I was reaching for the bread, standing as tall as I could on my tippy toes, a hand reached up and grabbed it. 

“Here you go,” a familiar voice said. I turned to look at the person with wide eyes, both of us having a moment of disbelief. 

“Hey, Soap, don’t forget the-” 

Son of a fucking bitch.

“Oh,” John said as he saw me and Johnny staring at one another. “Everything alright?”

“Yeah,” Johnny said, never taking his eyes off me. “Just helping this nice lady get some bread.” 

I never had a hair trigger to cry before, but the moment he said that instead of saying he knew me, it broke me. Bursting into tears, I couldn’t even leave. I was sobbing so hard. 

“Soap,” John said with a growl. I tried to brush his hands away, to try and get some space, but John wasn’t letting me leave. 

“Do you know her, Cap?” Johnny asked, sounding anything but pleased. 

“Easy, Love,” John said softly, pulling me close and stroking my hair. It shouldn’t have made me melt into him so easily, I should have tried harder to leave, but I was just so damn tired. 

“Price?” Johnny said, getting gruff. 

“I know who she is, Soap,” John said. “I know who you are to her. We can do this here or we can do this in private, Sergeant.” His tone left no argument or even a choice. The three of us left the store empty handed. John had me tucked under his arm the whole time we walked to a nearby house. It was just a few blocks from mine and when Johnny pulled out his keys to open the front door, I began to sob all over again. He had been so close this whole time and we never once ran into each other. It meant we either had very bad luck or he knew where I was the whole time and never said a thing. 

John offered soft words of comfort and reassurance as he guided me to a sofa. Sitting me down, he looked off to the side and told someone to bring him a cool wash cloth and to make tea. 

“I’m not fucking English, I don’t drink tea,” I croaked between sniffling sobs. 

“Yeah, but I am and so is the Bean,” John said, giving me a smile that made his cheeks round and his eyes crease. It was the same one he’d given me that first night we met. 

He had been sitting at the bar, nursing a scotch when I came up wild and loud, climbing onto a stool so I could kneel on it to be able to lean onto the bar so the bartender could hear my order. I glanced at him and flashed a smile and a wave. ‘Hi!’ I said, giving him my name. ‘Do you like tequila?’

‘Hi, I’m John and I do like tequila.’

‘It’s grand to meet you, John! Have a shot with me!’

“Who’s Bean?” A voice asked, bringing us out of our small daze. Looking up, there stood a man with dark eyes and a curious look. 

“Gaz,” John said, clearing his throat. “Not the time.” The man nodded, handing him the wash cloth that he turned to wipe my face. Letting him clean me up, I was able to calm down and at least stop crying. The headache that came after didn’t help at all. I couldn’t take any medication for it either, so I only had a bag of frozen peas that Gaz had grabbed at John’s request to help soothe the pounding behind my eyes. 

“Seems we’ve calmed down enough that we can talk,” John said as Johnny joined us, standing in the doorway, leaning against it with his arms crossed and his face sour. “There’s no good way to say this, so I might as well just say it. Johnny, your sister and I had a one night stand and now she’s pregnant.”

“Bullshit,” Johnny scoffed. 

“Sergeant,” John growled in a warning. 

“She’s not pregnant,” Johnny said, not backing down. “You two may have fucked, but she’s not pregnant. She’s just trying to get money out of you.”

“I went to a fucking doctor’s visit with her. She is pregnant and she’s been trying to avoid me and push away any help I offer her because you and your parents seem to have it out for her,” John snarled, standing up. “Now, I don’t know what your parents told you, but your sister has done everything in her power to make sure I’m not in my child’s life because you and them treat her like a plague rat. She has not once asked for a damn penny, let alone any large sum you’ve made up in your head.”

“You don’t even know if it’s yours!” Johnny cried out, pushing off from the doorframe. 

“I’m the only one she’s been with, you fucking muppet! You’d know that if you’d talk to her like a decent person, let alone a decent brother!” John snapped, getting in his face. “I have been trying to do everything I can to make sure I have a relationship with my child, at least, because it is impossible to get close to her after everything you lot put her through! I gave you the benefit of the doubt even. That you were just fed lies so much that nothing else made sense! No, this is willful ignorance now and I won’t stand for it. Your sister has been alone needlessly for years. Be a fucking man and own up to your mistakes.”

The room was deathly quiet as the two men stood there, seething as they stared each other down. 

“You know shit ain’t been addin’ up, Johnny,” a low, gruff voice said. A man with a skull balaclava stood off to the side as he watched everything. Had he been there the whole time? “It hasn’t been for a long time.” Johnny turned away from John to look at the man then to me. His snarl faded as he kept our gazes locked before walking away. “I got him, you take care of yours, Price,” the man said, calmly walking after my brother. John nodded, letting out a breath he’d been holding. 

“I. . . I’m sorry, Love,” he said softly, taking a seat next to me, his head hanging as he stared at his hands. “I know you didn’t want any of this and I’ll take you home if you want me to.”

“John,” I said, reaching over and taking his calloused hand in mine. “Thank you.” He looked from our hands to my face, his brows relaxing a bit from the worried scrunch they’d been stuck in.

“You’re welcome,” he said softly, leaning in to kiss my cheek. 

“I think maybe we should try things differently,” I said, bumping his head with mine. 

“Yeah?” He hummed, pulling me close to rest against his chest. 

“Dating. We should date. Start there and work our way up,” I said, nuzzling against his chest. He was wearing a soft cable knit sweater and I wanted to climb inside it with him. 

“I think that’s a good idea,” he said, his voice rumbling deep in his chest as he put both arms around me. 

“I also need the insurance papers again. . . I lost them,” I said, tucking my head under his, happy in the warm and safe spot I’d made. 

“Of course,” John said, chuckling. 

“Also. . . That was really hot, you standing up for me. I don’t think I’d ever been so turned on before,” I said, hiding my smirk.

“Brat,” he snorted. “Do you want to go home?”

“Can you come with me and stay?” I asked, pulling away to look up at him.

“Wild dogs couldn’t keep me away,” John smiled, leaning down to kiss me. 

Series Masterlist

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Taglist: @birdstoprey @sebbytheraccoon @pricescigar @alwaysshallow

[puffpastrycrimewatch]

Flower Of Death

(my OC Amelia is there for scale)

This is [Oc] Katabasis the god of the afterlife, they manage all the souls that have "died" and decide if they're good enough to recycle (reincarnation) or go to the other four options

Just like Neith Katabasis has been around for all of time, katabasis wears a demon that came from a different plane (hell basically) as a victory and a subtle threat of power

Katabasis is fascinated by mortals they used to interfere in their lives but they were forced to stop for it was causing more harm than good, that's why they are chained to prevent themselves from interfering.....

.....buuuut that doesn't mean someone under Katabasis can't interfere airgo (is that right?) Amelia Vilheart chosen by Katabasis to act as their enforcer, Amelia is a recycled soul but a very very old soul which caused some defects (such as loss of some emotions and a bit of crazy a bit of immortality and constant reincarnation)

Katabasis really likes Amelia they think she's silly, oh yeah katabasis isn't a girl or guy, I guess they're gender neutral

Here's a simple doodle of their full body

Wow didn't think I had it in me to finally design my OC Katabasis mostly because they're a god I didn't want them to be simple I'm still workshoping the design, I'm not totally loving it, specifically the face it's too pretty, y'know what I mean?

[deadstoats]

The Stargazers

There is an old forgotten legend about The Universe and The Change being friends long ago. Moreover, The God of Change eventually fell in love with The Universe, with their constantly changing nature, with their love for evolving and progression. They wanted to impress The Universe, so The God of Change collected stardust all over the world to make a gift for The Universe. However, wheither it was because of God of Change skill issues, or laziness, or just because of their nature - but the creation they made was as changable and fickle as their creator, unable to hold their shape for at least some time. The Universe perceived this gift not as a tribute of respect and sympathy, but as an evil mockery, and in anger they threw the creature of Stars and Changes to the earth. Since then, the entities/gods themselves have disliked each other, because The Change is sure that the Universe offended them intentionally, and the The Universe is sure that The Change is mocking them.

The king is defeated, time flows as usual again - but what's next? Is the world now perfect again and… Of course not. There is still one big problem, and that problem is called The Land. The Land, the one that everyone has forgotten about and can’t remember, and even trying to pronounce its name causes pain. How long does this memory loss last? Is there anyone else left on this island? Did… did it even existed in the first place?

Some say they see a strange haze in the air in those places - but is there anything other than that haze?

A very few people can remember the Land. They say that The Universe itself is pushing them towards. The Universe itself wants them to return to their homeland. Thus, our four heroes find themselves on their own path. The Universe brought them all together in one way or another. Everyone has their own goals, everyone has their own motives. But everyone has one destination. The Land.

And here is our brave cast of characters for a new adventure!

The Wanderer - Orion. They are considered the leader of the group since they seem to have the most memories of The Land and because they had a hand in everything (chuckle). Even if their comrades have never seen their face, they have already proven themselves to be trustworthy. Oh, and they know REALLY a lot about space, stars, planets, constellations, buuuut… They remember little about themself, almost nothing. Even their scarf: they remember that this is the only thing left of the person who saved them from death, but something is wrong with this story. Oh, and the tale at the very beginning? They told it to so many people, but it looks like no one really know this story except Orion.

The Entertainer - Nova. Who brought the child here? Oh, it's not a child? Or it is a child? Who knows. They remember little about The Land, since they were kidnapped long ago and taken very far from home. They fled when the incident with The King happened, but… How do you return to a place you don't remember? They never speak, using sign language, pantomimes or writing instead. They also seem to have trouble recognizing human speech, so that they can hear everything but human voices. Despite their sad past, they actually love performing.

The Priestess - Celine. A true follower of The Universe belief! She knows a lot of things about religion, as well as many legends and tales about stars and cosmos and planets. She doesn't try to convert anyone to her faith, but willingly talks about it. Despite her sad appearance, Celine is not hostile to others, she's simply tired. The right side of her body looks as if it has been burned, and she claims that this incident happened a long time ago. Oh, and she's super strong! How could it be otherwise, if she needs to carry this huge combat prosthesis with her.

The Artist - Estelle. An eccentric happy-go-lucky young man who spent most of his life in Ka Bue; but clearly not all of his life, judging by the fragments of foreign landscapes and places in his dreams, full of unknown motifs and strange shadows… He is driven not so much by The Universe but by the love for art. He is very capable not only in art, but also in the Craft, capable of coming up with very complex Crafts both in battle and in daily life. Because Craft is also part of his art! But sometimes - it's too much. He's cheerful and carefree usually, but everything should be PERFECT when it comes to art. And if it 's not perfect - it needs to be destroyed.

A SECRET 5th CHARACTER!!! Nebula - a mysterious creature that appears only in Orion's dreams. Their appearance, their voice, their emotions - it's all constantly changing. They often guide Orion on their jorney or give them useful advices, and sometimes they just like to talk.

i was working on this for past few days so... yeah. and that's all for spoiler-free version ✌

[narutocharacterpolls]

I just saw that you were done talking about these two... buuuut I had already been enlisted to draw a comic so I really hope you don't mind! I'm still a bit out of practice so apologies for the quality.

In all honesty as much as we (and Naruto, lol) consider Sasuke an all-time fave and are bummed out he's not moving along, he probably would not give a single shit. He already knows he's the GOAT and has other things to be doing like, you know, moving the entire plot along and getting justice for his family.

In this case, though, I'd like to think he also takes some time to talk about swords with his go-to weapons expert friend, Tenten. Just for fun.

Hope you enjoy and it at least brings a smile to you. It looks like things unfortunately got a little heated.

[ID: Four fanarts of Sasuke, Suigetsu, and Tenten sitting at a counter with the executioners blade sitting on it.

Image one: Tenten comments in a tiny bubble, “Ooh awesome blade” Sasuke asks Tenten, “So you’re a weapons expert and Suigetsu here is a dumbass, I was wondering if…” Sasuke gets cut off by a loud spiked speech bubble coming from off screen, an unseen Naruto yells, “Sasuke!”

Image two: Sasuke, Suigetsu, and Tenten now pause, silent, looking up in shock inferably towards Naruto.

Image three: a panel of just Naruto, clutching his chest and crying as he holds his phone and says, “Oh my god you lost the best character poll, Sasuke! I can’t believe it!”

Image four: Sasuke, Suigetsu, and Tenten return their focus back to themselves and Sasuke says, “Anyways…” Suigetsu notes “Lol” and Tenten sweats with a nervous smile. END ID]

WOW!! YOU DID AN AMAZING JOB! They all look wonderful, and it’s so so awesome you made a whole comicccc this is so funny I’M SO ASTOUNDED AND IMPRESSED YOU GUYS ARE AMAZING!

I absolutely don’t mind sharing any creative pieces you guys have made, I love spreading your talent! As always if I did miss one of your artworks or writings please let me know! That poll was crazy and my notifications were never ending, so it’d have been easy to miss one if I was tagged during that!

[flock-of-cassowaries]

Five Questions for Nine People I’d like to get to know better.

@foxgloveinthesun Thank you for asking! There are friends of mine who would say you have made a grave error in extending this invitation, but I’ll do my best to not hog the microphone too much.

Last song: Dashboard by Modest Mouse, on repeat. Something about the melody really captures some of the low-level restlessness and frustration I’ve been feeling on and off since approximately 2015. And it’s a bop.

Favourite colour: Green, but like, kind of a yellow-green chartreuse situation. It evokes life and vibrancy for me. Also the colour of my sofa, which one of my long-time IRL friend hates, and which I have therefore specifically bequeathed to her in the event of my untimely death. (When I was initially sofa-shopping, my then-boyfriend confidently advised me it was “a neutral”. I now suspect he may have been colourblind.)

Honourable mentions to:

- the dark grey-blue the clouds get when it’s about to rain and everyone around me is cranky about it (because apparently, I am a troll)

- orange (my grandmother’s happy colour, and mine too; also the colour of her glorious, deep-pile shag carpets); and

- fuschia, because fuck my early-2000s-teenager NLOG internalized misogyny, I am allowed to fucking like pink.

Currently watching: Dark Shadows. I love a good campy soap opera, and oh my gosh, this one has exceeded all my expectations. So happy it’s available to stream. (For free! On Tubi.)

I’m also putting off finishing Doom Patrol. I have five episodes left, but I love the characters so much and don’t wanna let go.

Sweet / savoury / spicy: Savoury. I bow humbly at the altar of monosodium glutamate. But I also particularly love a sweet-savoury combo, like hoisin sauce.

Relationship status: Ended a long, tortured long-distance relationship with a cis man (who turned out to be a hardcore conspiracy-theory enthusiast) in January.

Trying to unburden myself of all of that baggage, and to work up the courage to put myself out there and date women, because I think that would probably work out better. I’ve never had the courage to do that before, even though I’ve always known I was attracted to women (since before I even knew I could be attracted to men), because I am, above all else, a coward 👍; and also, the above-mentioned internalized misogyny.

Buuuut last two times I’ve attempted a relationship with a man, I’ve get a lot of pressure to perform femininity in ways that didn’t feel natural to me, and gotten a lot of hostility directed at me due to my straight male partners feeling that being involved with me threatened their claim to straightness.

…and also, I really, truly no longer need to impress my dad. So, like, fuck it…?

But it’s still scary as fuck.

Current obsession: Succession; or, perhaps more accurately, my unfinished, un-posted, and perhaps excessively-ambitious Succession fanfiction, which I’ve been working on since last July.

I remember, in March 2023, hearing a local radio host talking about how excited he was to watch season four of Succession, and just thinking “That show sounds insufferable; why would I care about the power struggles of a group of ultra-rich assholes?”

Little did I know that the specific dynamics of the father-son relationship depicted therein;

…and the son (Roman)’s own relationship to his privilege (something he’s afraid to give up, but unable to fully realize because he just can’t quite pass as the cis straight man he’s supposed to be);

…and his relationship to his quasi-messianic father’s right-wing political convictions, which he has adopted as his own;

…and how this all exists in tension with his ambiguous, but undeniable, queerness (as the reason he can’t ever fully enjoy the privilege his wealth and maleness would otherwise afford - despite him never owning up to it, everyone around him reads him as gay, and reminds him of this constantly at the slightest hint of conflict);

— yeah, it just all maps so perfectly onto things I’ve struggled with myself over the past three decades; many which I have been ashamed to even acknowledge.

[Pause for breath.]

(Even though I have never been anywhere even proximate to the level of wealth depicted, I’ve had a lot of privilege from being white, comfortably-middle-class, beauty-standard attractive, and capitalism-compatible; but being an AFAB person playing the role of a cis woman (successfully, if rather uncomfortably), and not a cis or cis-passing man, has locked me out of the full exercise of the privilege that right-wing politics asserted would be mine, if only I conformed.)

(And also my dad is a self-styled philosopher king / violent lunatic who thinks Walter White, Machiavelli, and Richard Nixon are inspirational figures, and who subscribes to the right-wing daily newspaper founded by one of the men the patriarch in Succession is based on.)

So. I have a lot of ideas.

(Pictured: Me.)

Plus, the show has plot holes big enough to drive a fleet of Lincoln Town cars through (or perhaps a mega-yacht, pursued by angry orcas 🛥️ 🐳🐳🐳); and nothing spurs my creativity quite like a plot hole, so that’s just perfect for my fanfiction-writing process.

(And it also features a very kinky quasi-sexual situationship that, uh… does things for me. So. That’s a bonus.)

Last thing you googled: The publication date of Henry Ford’s favourite work of anti-Semitic hate propaganda. I’m listening to a chapter in an audiobook (“How Fascism Works”, by Jonathan Stanley, 2018 - Random House) that discusses it.

I don’t know if anyone else likes talking about themselves as much as I very evidently do, but I would like to extend the invitation to answer these same five questions to the following esteemed hell-sitecitizens: @inkandcayenne , @theveryparanormalgabriel , @scabby-lasagne , @scabby-lasagne , @trwinsome, @rockstar-moron , @saul-okayman , @threeguesses , and @reidoxreader.

[bingejesus]

Spoiler Review of S4 Episode One

Ok so I gave a non spoiler review of episodes 1-3 buuuut it is now time for the spoilers I will be tagging these so no one who does not want to see them will. If somehow, you are reading this part, please please please be aware that from this sentence forward there are spoilers for season four episode 1 of The Chosen. Ok? Ok.

…

Episode One:

Ok so literally episode one John the Baptist is martyred. And it is breathtakingly beautiful. The dancer who played Salome was phenomenal, I don’t think she had a single line, her whole thing was practicing and performing the dance which I feel like really shows how this was all Herodias’ idea and she was really just a pawn. At the same time, we flashback to young Mother Mary visiting Elizabeth and Zechariah, which was funny and sweet and so heartwarming. It really is odd to see a woman clearly in her 70s or even 80s pregnant but knowing the story it just made me so happy. We also see Joanna going to tell the disciples and Jesus about John. It’s all intercut between Zechariah’s prophecy about John as a baby, the party, Joanna, and the actual death of John. The scene of the execution is somehow beautiful even as we know something horrible is happening. As John is being led away, he quotes what Jesus had his disciples tell him, “The lame walk, the blind see, the dead are raised,” and he says, “The way of the Lord is prepared.” Which just sent shivers down my spine. We see the silver platter John’s head will be served on and the soldier says that usually it’s used for a wedding banquet to which John says, “I’ve never been to a wedding banquet, but I’m going to one.” Which again, I’m just sobbing at this point. Right as John is about to die, he looks out a window and sees a spotless lamb feeding outside, like a final sign that his mission is fulfilled. Obviously we don’t see a severed head, but the swing of the axe is just as impactful. We cut to Jesus by himself, as if already preparing for the news. When he is told, we see him mourn. Rip his clothes, and cover himself in dirt. It’s heartbreaking to say the least. Also, it is important to note that Ramah returns and everyone is gathering together. Then, we see Joanna arrive and tell Andrew, and then everyone else. The last thing we see is Jesus approaching the group, torn clothes, dirt on his face, looking…disillusioned? It’s hard to describe it. Almost like he’s been too emotionally exhausted to have a readable expression.

Another thing to note, was that Zebeddee and sons have the olive oil ready and are giving it to the local synagogue for ritual purposes. Yousef says it is to benefit local enterprise, but Rabbi Akira is skeptical. Tamar goes with them but is not allowed in the synagogues being both a woman and a Gentile, obviously upsetting her. (Big James offers to stay with her instead of going in!!!!!!! The ship is real!!!!!)

Oh and I just remembered that Salome did have a line and it was just to say, “Anything?” When Herod says he’ll give her anything after the dance.

The interweaving of baby John and John’s execution was beautifully done. I was sobbing. The moment Zechariah can speak again, he begins prophesying and we hear it over John being led in by the soldiers. I like that John seemed nervous (as obviously anyone would be) but he wasn’t necessarily scared. It was that last moment of seeing the lamb that made him smile just as he died. Oh wow like I said I was crying.

It’s also incredibly hard to watch Jesus cry. I expected it to be, but obviously being a Christian and a follower of Jesus makes it so much harder. Especially after the love and laughter we’ve seen him experience as well. They do not shy away from humanity and that is such a welcomed thing.

Episode One was expected, but still managed to be utterly brilliant in writing and storytelling. We all knew John’s death was coming and it was made into a realistically sorrowful but beautiful reality. I cannot wait until I have it at my fingertips to watch again and again.

So that was episode one. Episode two coming soon!

[skyward-floored]

I'm afraid to ask, but.. the Four stuff??

Oh. I sometimes forget not everybody was around for that XD

I tried to steer clear of a lot of the mess (my blog was a lot smaller then, it was easier heh), but from my understanding (and pardon me if this offends anyone, I’m just trying to explain things) it was basically like this:

In those lu updates where Four split for the first time, Jojo put an explanation of how the four sword works in the comic. She explained how Four doesn’t have DID or any other disorders like that because of the sword, and isn’t a system. Buuuut, she put the word system in quotes, because (as she said in one of the apologies she ended up giving) she assumed it wasn’t a term people were familiar with.

The people on Instagram were chill about it from what I heard, but there was outcry from several prominent blogs on here that the use of the quotes was offensive (and some people said the entire explanation was as well). And I believe some of them were systems themselves, so I do understand why there was the upset. But Jojo apologized, and removed the quotes, so that really should have been the end of it.

...Aaaaand it wasn’t. People said the apology wasn’t enough, people said the second apology wasn’t enough, people were mad that Four wasn’t how they’d headcannoned him to be, there were old posts being dug through and further accusations of hate against groups, I believe Jojo got sent hate, and so did a bunch of people... it was basically a witch hunt.

...Kind of like now, which is why this all reminds me of then.

Anyways it did blow over eventually, but there was a huge split, and a lot of people left the fandom. We were back to being a fairly small group again, but that was more than a year ago, so the amount of people around did go back up... but I have a funny feeling it’s going to go down again.

[misc-obeyme]

I really love the fly traits in beel <333 bcuz i like bugs and everything but sometimes i think about his wings from his demon form and i just <33 i wanna touch them!!!! See if they react if i made beel blush :'vv

-🍵

Hello again, 🍵 anon!

I am also fond of them - Beel's wings are pretty unique. If they were a little sparklier he'd look like a big buff fairy. I also like most bugs and I like the idea that there are other demons with wings that look like them. I actually ended up giving my OC a sister who has butterfly wings, which happened purely by accident. I chose her name (Euthalia) and it just happened to be the name of a butterfly, too. So then I was like oh she's gotta have butterfly wings then.

But I also think a demon with dragonfly wings would be really cool. It's like fly wings but a set of four, right? And they're shimmery. I know most of the demons have black appendages that sometimes fade into a different color, but I think a demon with black dragonfly wings that are like... iridescent would be really pretty.

I've also thought about a demon that was based on like a firefly... buuuut I think the fireflies have their glower in their butt so I dunno how that'd work lol. I'm not actually sure where on the fireflies their glow is, now that I'm thinking about it. But maybe a demon could have bands of iridescence kind of like Mammon's or Beel's markings but glowing.

But anyway, back to Beel! I don't know enough about a fly's wings to know how delicate they are, but they seem like they would be thin. However, Beel is a demon, so it seems likely to me that they're made of sturdier stuff than an actual fly's would be.

I love the idea of them twitching whenever Beel blushes. Like if you've done something that made him blush, it only makes sense that his wings would react, too. Maybe they twitch or they start fluttering a little. Or maybe just a brief quick buzz happens before he gets them under control again.

And if you touched them? Well honestly I think he'd probably blush from that alone. I mean how often do you think anyone touches them? I think he'd love how it feels to have your fingertips running lightly across them. Maybe he starts asking you to do it when he's stressed or having a rough day because it makes him feel calm. Just imagining him with his head in your lap, wings flickering as you carefully caress them.