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subaruofsterling · 8 months
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Buy Here Pay Here Car Lots
Buy Here Pay Here Car Lots
Stohlman Subaru of Sterling is a full-service Subaru dealer in Northern Virginia. Visit us for sales, financing and service near Herndon, Ashburn & Chantilly.
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altruistic-meme · 1 year
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yay we love adding an additional 15 stressors to an already stressed tf out person like yayyy whoopee that sure is fun :)
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siobhanromee · 1 year
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had the most miserable experience today.
#Got invited to the party of someone I know and like well enough. And it ended up being a lot of people younger than me which is fine#But I also felt a little left out#And it wasnt like the kind of younger than me where they like need help playing the games and stuff#Oh also all of them were from a church youth group so that adds something#And I wanted to leave at 5:30. But my sister wanted to stay a while longer so we stayed.#And somehow my brother showed up#Well I know how he got there but he wasnt supposed to come#But I had to wait even longer since there were then 3 people I had to take home. But my brother told me he wanted us to go to the store to#buy a plushie for his girlfriend#Which on the surface is very cute. But it actually sucks bc his girlfriend is a secret.#And on the way to the store. I already wanted to go home but the party host called my sister bc my sibling left their phone at the party#And my sister said 'oh we will just turn around' but I was eager to get home and I said to the sibling who lost their phone that they shoul#pay me a couple buck s for the gas to make a return trip to the party. Also I had eaten a cookie that was contaminated somehow while I was#driving so here I was trying to coordinate getting the phone back and also trying to not ingest the rancid tasting cookie AND trying todriv#And I ended up hitting the curb loudly while getting into the parking lot at the store. My sibling who lost their phone got out of the car#And started to walk away. I raced after them and they told me that they were just going to go home#I told them no way in hell was I letting them go in the dark by themselves with no phone. They did agree to come back with the rest of us.#but very grudgingly#We got the plush of fucking course he picked the most massive one. And I had to pay bc he didnt have cash on him. And I cant even vent to m#mom abt this bc explaining this would mean letting out abt my brothers girlfriend and he already fucking hates me so that would only make y#Life worse. And I dont know how he has a girlfriend bc he is so mean to me and I dont know why anyone would find him compelling#And hes 5 years younger than me and I've never dated. I'm not exactly in a rush to date but I'd like to have SOME experience.#And hes been dating her for a while too. I told him he cant just have this covered for him forever hes gonna have to come clean one day#And so I'm reeling and having an awful time mentally bc I think I've severely hurt the feelings of the one sibling who likes me#And I had to go to the store when I really just wanted to go home and I had my sister giving pointed comments abt my decisions and the fact#Might have been poisoned by a rancid cookie and I have no one to tell abt this and to top it all off I feel like none of them even understa#How incredibly stressful and awful this made me feel#I am simply not going to take them places for the next month unless I absolutely have to#Bc thats the only power I have in this situation#Also my most minor guilt is I set out to post less vents on tumblr. And this is a vent so :(
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auto-usa · 2 months
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Do you know which cars never go out of trend? Read this presentation to know that. You can find these cars easily at no credit check car lots near me or no credit check auto dealers near me. When you visit used car lots no credit check or Buy Here Pay Here Auto Dealers Near Me, never forget to check these cars. Now visit no credit check car places or inhouse financing near me and happy shopping. You can find all these cars at lowest price at USAdirectAuto. Call us at +1 (832) 263-3726 , +1 (832) 377-2734 , +1 (832) 205-8375 +1 (832) 271-3468 or read here - https://bit.ly/3WhNFJE or visit - https://www.usadirectauto.com/
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globalautodealer · 7 months
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Looking for a reliable ride without breaking the bank? Check out our list of the "10 Top Cars You Can Get Under $9000" available at used car dealerships. Whether you're in Pensacola, Santa Rosa, Midland, or Bradenton, we've got you covered with our wide selection of affordable vehicles. Plus, with in-house financing options available at our dealership, including buy here pay here and no credit check options, getting behind the wheel has never been easier. Don't miss out on the opportunity to find your perfect ride without the hassle. Visit iGotCars today and discover all these cars at the lowest prices! Call at +1 (956) 567-2277 , +1 (850) 780-8084, +1 (956) 948-3017 or visit - https://www.igotcars.com
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directautoblogs · 8 months
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Your Ultimate Guide to Finding the Best Used Cars For Sale USA
Discover the ultimate destination for auto sales near you! Explore an extensive selection of top-quality used cars for sale in the USA, with convenient in-house financing options available. Say goodbye to credit worries as we offer no credit check cars for sale, making us the ideal choice for hassle-free shopping.
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valuepointauto · 10 months
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westlandautosales · 11 months
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Fresno Used Cars Dealership
When It Comes to finding dependable and affordable pre-owned vehicles in Fresno, look no further than the Fresno Used Cars Dealership. Our dealership is a trusted name in the community, known for offering a diverse selection of high-quality used cars to meet various preferences and budgets.
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usadirectauto1 · 1 year
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2022 Subaru Forester: Reviews And Specifications
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Are you looking for an SUV with a great look and performance? If yes then you can easily find many SUVs in the market by visiting in house financing car lots. Though, if you want to buy a used SUV at a low price then here you will know about it. In this article, we will discuss affordable cars that you can purchase easily.
The 2022 Forester is a combination of Subaru's outdoorsy image with the practicality of a compact crossover. This combination has made the Forester SUV a success, but it's middling flat-four engine offers tepid acceleration that tempers its desirability. The 2022 Subaru Forester benefits from a styling makeover that provides it with a more trucklike look, but the cabin remains as practical and comfortable as ever, but it has an exceptional case in airy and rife with convenient storage cubbies. Like most other Subaru vehicles, the Forester comes with all-wheel drive as standard. Key competitors like the Toyota RAV4 and the Honda CR-V provide similar traits, but both are provided with more powerful hybrid and gasoline engines that leave the 2022 Forester feeling underpowered by comparison. You can easily find used cars by looking for in house financing cars near me and visiting them to know more about vehicles. Still, for drivers who are looking for the Subaru's adventurous aura appealing, the 2022 Forester will be a satisfactory choice.
What's New For The 2022 Subaru Forester?
Subaru has refreshed the Forester for 2022 with a reworked grille, blockier-looking front headlamps, and new wheel designs. A wilderness model joins the class and it comes with additional ground clearance and a rugged appearance package. When we talk about the inside, the 2022 Forester has a new optional gesture control for the panoramic sunroof and climate control system as standard equipment on all but the base trim. Its driver assistance features attract drivers and this feature gets upgraded camera sensors that Subaru says expands its operating range, broadens the system's field of view, and launches a new automatic emergency steering system into the mix. If you have old vehicles to sell then you should visit in house financing near me and get a good deal. All models of the 2022 Forester now come with a torque vectoring system, Subaru's SI-Drive driving mode selector, an auto start-stop feature for the four-cylinder engine, and an electronic parking brake with auto-hold.
Pricing And Which Model To Purchase
The Forester has a base price of $25195 and this is a decent starting cost for the lineup. Moreover, you will get a Subaru car with an all-wheel drive system that costs extra in many competitors when you add this system. When we talk about a range-topping Forester Touring price then it is available in the market at $35295 and this price is a bit higher than many rival's top-trim costs. Every model of the 2022 Subaru Forester comes at a different price.
When it comes to which model you should purchase then it totally depends on your requirements and your budget as well. You can purchase or sell any model at an affordable price by looking for Buy Here Pay Here Auto Dealers Near Me. Every model has some unique features the Touring and Limited models are much fancier but the premium trim comes with the best mix of value and features. The exterior updates a rear spoiler, body-color side view mirror, and 17-inch wheels that make it look less like a rental car. If we talk about the interior then it comes with luxuries such as a 10-watt power adjustable driver's seat, a panoramic sunroof, an onboard Wi-Fi hotspot, reclining rear seat backs, and a six-speaker sound system.
Forester Interior: Great Space For A Small SUV
Forester interior quality: the 2022 Subaru Forester offers one of the roomiest cabins in the compact SUV lineup, and it is well-built with great quality materials. Driver isn't disturbed by road noise because it keeps occupants insulated from traffic and road noise. If you want to purchase this awesome car hassle-free then you should visit buy here pay here dealerships near me. And if we talk about the new wilderness model then it makes a great companion on muddy roads because of its water-repellent upholstery.
Forester infotainment, navigation, and Bluetooth: it is very easy to use the Starlink infotainment system because of its intuitive interface that makes using and understanding menus simple. The touch screen responds well to input, though the graphics of the display could be sharper. The driver will find a secondary display at the top of the dashboard that displays different information than the touchscreen. This secondary display may confuse some drivers at first but when they use it a few times then they can easily understand it.
Available infotainment features: in this list, you will get a six-speaker stereo, more USB ports, navigation, a Wi-Fi hotspot, an 8-inch touchscreen, and a nine-speaker Harman Kardon stereo.
Standard infotainment features: you will get all features in your vehicles when you get a car from the  best place to buy used cars. In this category, the driver will get a 6.5-inch touchscreen, satellite radio, a four-speaker stereo, HD radio, apple carplay, and android auto, Bluetooth, and USB ports.
Other available features: there are some other available features including dual-zone automatic climate control, push-button start, and a panoramic moonroof.
Additional standard features: you will get automatic climate control in this category.
Forester cargo space: few class rivals offer more cargo space than the Subaru Forester. The base 2022 Forester offers 28.9 cubic feet of space behind the back seats and after folding down the rear seats, you will get 74.2 cubic feet of space. In all other trims, these numbers decrease to 26.9 cubic feet and 69.1 cubic feet, respectively.
No. Of people can sit: the 2022 Subaru Forester is a two-row seat car that offers sitting for five people. If you are looking for a pre-owned car with great quality then make sure you select reputed no credit check auto dealers near me. Drivers will appreciate its great visibility, and everyone can appreciate the spacious and quiet cabin of this car. Both rows of seats are very comfortable and offer plenty of leg and headroom. In fact, taller passengers can sit in the rear seat comfortably. The doors open up wide which makes it easy to enter or exit the car in either row.
Forester Performance: More To Like Than Not
Forester engine: every Forester has the same engine- a 182-hp four-cylinder engine coupled with a continuously variable automatic transmission system. The Forester’s engine will get you from one destination to another one but it is not the most impressive powertrain. Its acceleration is only so-so, and this car can feel a touch underpowered on the road.
Forester ride and handling: this car is poised around turns and shows little body lean but it lacks the sporty nature of some competitors. If you type in house financing cars near me in the search bar you will get many options where you can visit and choose your dream car. It rides smoothly and offers sturdy brakes so it is a better off-road car than most class rivals. The 2022 Forester also has an all-wheel drive system that is a rarity in this class.
Forester off-road performance: the Forester is a well-known off-road vehicle that almost every class rivals. Most models come with 8.7 inches of ground clearance and are untroubled by snow, light trails, and mud. If you want to purchase this car then you have to look for auto lots near me. The Wilderness version also offers 9.2-inch ground clearance which makes it more capable. This vehicle also has an all-wheel drive system, making it a major outlier in this segment, as it is a pricey upgrade from many competitors. Every model of Forester except the base comes with hill descent control and X-mode, a system that increases grip on slippery paths. Wilderness models also come with all-terrain tires and a forward-facing off-road camera.
Towing capacity and warranty: many Forester models can tow up to 1500 pounds but when it comes to the Wilderness model doubles that capacity to 3000 pounds. When we talk about warranty then Subaru covers this car with a three-year or 36000-mile limited warranty and a five-year or 60000-mile powertrain warranty.
Forester gas mileage: when we talk about its gas mileage then it gets good mileage, earning 26 mpg around the town and 33 mpg on the road in many configurations. If you are searching car dealerships around me on the internet then there are many options you will find but you need to choose a dealer by checking their reviews, and ratings. Make sure you select trustworthy dealerships to get a better deal. When it comes to Wilderness trim then it is a bit less fuel-efficient than other Forester models, returning 25 mpg in the city and 28 mpg on the highway.
Conclusion-Here you have read everything about the 2022 Subaru Forester vehicle. If you want to purchase a vehicle but before that you have to sell your car then you should choose the best place to sell car so you will get a good deal on your purchase.
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Tesla's Dieselgate
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Elon Musk lies a lot. He lies about being a “utopian socialist.” He lies about being a “free speech absolutist.” He lies about which companies he founded:
https://www.businessinsider.com/tesla-cofounder-martin-eberhard-interview-history-elon-musk-ev-market-2023-2 He lies about being the “chief engineer” of those companies:
https://www.quora.com/Was-Elon-Musk-the-actual-engineer-behind-SpaceX-and-Tesla
He lies about really stupid stuff, like claiming that comsats that share the same spectrum will deliver steady broadband speeds as they add more users who each get a narrower slice of that spectrum:
https://www.eff.org/wp/case-fiber-home-today-why-fiber-superior-medium-21st-century-broadband
The fundamental laws of physics don’t care about this bullshit, but people do. The comsat lie convinced a bunch of people that pulling fiber to all our homes is literally impossible — as though the electrical and phone lines that come to our homes now were installed by an ancient, lost civilization. Pulling new cabling isn’t a mysterious art, like embalming pharaohs. We do it all the time. One of the poorest places in America installed universal fiber with a mule named “Ole Bub”:
https://www.newyorker.com/tech/annals-of-technology/the-one-traffic-light-town-with-some-of-the-fastest-internet-in-the-us
Previous tech barons had “reality distortion fields,” but Musk just blithely contradicts himself and pretends he isn’t doing so, like a budget Steve Jobs. There’s an entire site devoted to cataloging Musk’s public lies:
https://elonmusk.today/
But while Musk lacks the charm of earlier Silicon Valley grifters, he’s much better than they ever were at running a long con. For years, he’s been promising “full self driving…next year.”
https://pluralistic.net/2022/10/09/herbies-revenge/#100-billion-here-100-billion-there-pretty-soon-youre-talking-real-money
He’s hasn’t delivered, but he keeps claiming he has, making Teslas some of the deadliest cars on the road:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/technology/2023/06/10/tesla-autopilot-crashes-elon-musk/
Tesla is a giant shell-game masquerading as a car company. The important thing about Tesla isn’t its cars, it’s Tesla’s business arrangement, the Tesla-Financial Complex:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/11/24/no-puedo-pagar-no-pagara/#Rat
Once you start unpacking Tesla’s balance sheets, you start to realize how much the company depends on government subsidies and tax-breaks, combined with selling carbon credits that make huge, planet-destroying SUVs possible, under the pretense that this is somehow good for the environment:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/04/14/for-sale-green-indulgences/#killer-analogy
But even with all those financial shenanigans, Tesla’s got an absurdly high valuation, soaring at times to 1600x its profitability:
https://pluralistic.net/2021/01/15/hoover-calling/#intangibles
That valuation represents a bet on Tesla’s ability to extract ever-higher rents from its customers. Take Tesla’s batteries: you pay for the battery when you buy your car, but you don’t own that battery. You have to rent the right to use its full capacity, with Tesla reserving the right to reduce how far you go on a charge based on your willingness to pay:
https://memex.craphound.com/2017/09/10/teslas-demon-haunted-cars-in-irmas-path-get-a-temporary-battery-life-boost/
That’s just one of the many rent-a-features that Tesla drivers have to shell out for. You don’t own your car at all: when you sell it as a used vehicle, Tesla strips out these features you paid for and makes the next driver pay again, reducing the value of your used car and transfering it to Tesla’s shareholders:
https://www.theverge.com/2020/2/6/21127243/tesla-model-s-autopilot-disabled-remotely-used-car-update
To maintain this rent-extraction racket, Tesla uses DRM that makes it a felony to alter your own car’s software without Tesla’s permission. This is the root of all autoenshittification:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon
This is technofeudalism. Whereas capitalists seek profits (income from selling things), feudalists seek rents (income from owning the things other people use). If Telsa were a capitalist enterprise, then entrepreneurs could enter the market and sell mods that let you unlock the functionality in your own car:
https://pluralistic.net/2020/06/11/1-in-3/#boost-50
But because Tesla is a feudal enterprise, capitalists must first secure permission from the fief, Elon Musk, who decides which companies are allowed to compete with him, and how.
Once a company owns the right to decide which software you can run, there’s no limit to the ways it can extract rent from you. Blocking you from changing your device’s software lets a company run overt scams on you. For example, they can block you from getting your car independently repaired with third-party parts.
But they can also screw you in sneaky ways. Once a device has DRM on it, Section 1201 of the DMCA makes it a felony to bypass that DRM, even for legitimate purposes. That means that your DRM-locked device can spy on you, and because no one is allowed to explore how that surveillance works, the manufacturer can be incredibly sloppy with all the personal info they gather:
https://www.cnbc.com/2019/03/29/tesla-model-3-keeps-data-like-crash-videos-location-phone-contacts.html
All kinds of hidden anti-features can lurk in your DRM-locked car, protected from discovery, analysis and criticism by the illegality of bypassing the DRM. For example, Teslas have a hidden feature that lets them lock out their owners and summon a repo man to drive them away if you have a dispute about a late payment:
https://tiremeetsroad.com/2021/03/18/tesla-allegedly-remotely-unlocks-model-3-owners-car-uses-smart-summon-to-help-repo-agent/
DRM is a gun on the mantlepiece in Act I, and by Act III, it goes off, revealing some kind of ugly and often dangerous scam. Remember Dieselgate? Volkswagen created a line of demon-haunted cars: if they thought they were being scrutinized (by regulators measuring their emissions), they switched into a mode that traded performance for low emissions. But when they believed themselves to be unobserved, they reversed this, emitting deadly levels of NOX but delivering superior mileage.
The conversion of the VW diesel fleet into mobile gas-chambers wouldn’t have been possible without DRM. DRM adds a layer of serious criminal jeopardy to anyone attempting to reverse-engineer and study any device, from a phone to a car. DRM let Apple claim to be a champion of its users’ privacy even as it spied on them from asshole to appetite:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/11/14/luxury-surveillance/#liar-liar
Now, Tesla is having its own Dieselgate scandal. A stunning investigation by Steve Stecklow and Norihiko Shirouzu for Reuters reveals how Tesla was able to create its own demon-haunted car, which systematically deceived drivers about its driving range, and the increasingly desperate measures the company turned to as customers discovered the ruse:
https://www.reuters.com/investigates/special-report/tesla-batteries-range/
The root of the deception is very simple: Tesla mis-sells its cars by falsely claiming ranges that those cars can’t attain. Every person who ever bought a Tesla was defrauded.
But this fraud would be easy to detect. If you bought a Tesla rated for 353 miles on a charge, but the dashboard range predictor told you that your fully charged car could only go 150 miles, you’d immediately figure something was up. So your Telsa tells another lie: the range predictor tells you that you can go 353 miles.
But again, if the car continued to tell you it has 203 miles of range when it was about to run out of charge, you’d figure something was up pretty quick — like, the first time your car ran out of battery while the dashboard cheerily informed you that you had 203 miles of range left.
So Teslas tell a third lie: when the battery charge reached about 50%, the fake range is replaced with the real one. That way, drivers aren’t getting mass-stranded by the roadside, and the scam can continue.
But there’s a new problem: drivers whose cars are rated for 353 miles but can’t go anything like that far on a full charge naturally assume that something is wrong with their cars, so they start calling Tesla service and asking to have the car checked over.
This creates a problem for Tesla: those service calls can cost the company $1,000, and of course, there’s nothing wrong with the car. It’s performing exactly as designed. So Tesla created its boldest fraud yet: a boiler-room full of anti-salespeople charged with convincing people that their cars weren’t broken.
This new unit — the “diversion team” — was headquartered in a Nevada satellite office, which was equipped with a metal xylophone that would be rung in triumph every time a Tesla owner was successfully conned into thinking that their car wasn’t defrauding them.
When a Tesla owner called this boiler room, the diverter would run remote diagnostics on their car, then pronounce it fine, and chide the driver for having energy-hungry driving habits (shades of Steve Jobs’s “You’re holding it wrong”):
https://www.wired.com/2010/06/iphone-4-holding-it-wrong/
The drivers who called the Diversion Team weren’t just lied to, they were also punished. The Tesla app was silently altered so that anyone who filed a complaint about their car’s range was no longer able to book a service appointment for any reason. If their car malfunctioned, they’d have to request a callback, which could take several days.
Meanwhile, the diverters on the diversion team were instructed not to inform drivers if the remote diagnostics they performed detected any other defects in the cars.
The diversion team had a 750 complaint/week quota: to juke this stat, diverters would close the case for any driver who failed to answer the phone when they were eventually called back. The center received 2,000+ calls every week. Diverters were ordered to keep calls to five minutes or less.
Eventually, diverters were ordered to cease performing any remote diagnostics on drivers’ cars: a source told Reuters that “Thousands of customers were told there is nothing wrong with their car” without any diagnostics being performed.
Predicting EV range is an inexact science as many factors can affect battery life, notably whether a journey is uphill or downhill. Every EV automaker has to come up with a figure that represents some kind of best guess under a mix of conditions. But while other manufacturers err on the side of caution, Tesla has the most inaccurate mileage estimates in the industry, double the industry average.
Other countries’ regulators have taken note. In Korea, Tesla was fined millions and Elon Musk was personally required to state that he had deceived Tesla buyers. The Korean regulator found that the true range of Teslas under normal winter conditions was less than half of the claimed range.
Now, many companies have been run by malignant narcissists who lied compulsively — think of Thomas Edison, archnemesis of Nikola Tesla himself. The difference here isn’t merely that Musk is a deeply unfit monster of a human being — but rather, that DRM allows him to defraud his customers behind a state-enforced opaque veil. The digital computers at the heart of a Tesla aren’t just demons haunting the car, changing its performance based on whether it believes it is being observed — they also allow Musk to invoke the power of the US government to felonize anyone who tries to peer into the black box where he commits his frauds.
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If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/28/edison-not-tesla/#demon-haunted-world
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This Sunday (July 30) at 1530h, I’m appearing on a panel at Midsummer Scream in Long Beach, CA, to discuss the wonderful, award-winning “Ghost Post” Haunted Mansion project I worked on for Disney Imagineering.
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Image ID [A scene out of an 11th century tome on demon-summoning called 'Compendium rarissimum totius Artis Magicae sistematisatae per celeberrimos Artis hujus Magistros. Anno 1057. Noli me tangere.' It depicts a demon tormenting two unlucky would-be demon-summoners who have dug up a grave in a graveyard. One summoner is held aloft by his hair, screaming; the other screams from inside the grave he is digging up. The scene has been altered to remove the demon's prominent, urinating penis, to add in a Tesla supercharger, and a red Tesla Model S nosing into the scene.]
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Image: Steve Jurvetson (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Tesla_Model_S_Indoors.jpg
CC BY 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/2.0/deed.en
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i-am-hungry-24-7 · 4 months
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[Ghost crashed into a car before he parked ours] - Mafia!TF141*F!Reader
Summary: You sigh when it's the fifth time someone fights in your poor tea shop this month. You just open it two months ago, in an area ruled by mafia called '141'. Maybe you should find their boss and give them money or what to stop the bullshit keeps happening in your shop. (well, here they come)
Mafia!TF141*F!Reader
Chapter 1 Chapter 2
To your surprise, Kyle, or Gaz – the model-like man introduced himself as – is such a considerate person with a nice sense of humor, at least compared to Soap or Ghost. 
That day you trapped yourself in the predicament with John, he seemed to sense your embarrassment, hence he just handed his boss a backup shirt without making fun of you like his boss, so you have a lot of time for the man. 
Like now, he’s sitting and sharing a plate of biscuits with you, enjoying a tranquil tea time accompanied by the pleasant smell of Earl Grey.
“You don’t have jobs to do today?” You raise your cup and ask, before taking another sip and watch Kyle finish his bite and reply.
 “Ghost’s in charge of dealing with the enemy today.” 
“Ehmm, okay” You refuse to figure out what ‘dealing’ means “What about others?"
"I killed mine yesterday.” 
Okay, you truly don’t mean this, but let’s just end this topic and move on. With a few biscuits down to your stomach, brainwashing yourself to forget what you heard seconds before with the sweetness, and buying you some time to come up with a better subject, you open your mouth again.
“Every time one of you comes here, you just scare all my customers away.”
“Isn’t that better?” 
“I need customers to earn money, Kyle.”
“You have us to pay you.” He points at the badge pasted on your wall. Of course, you’re not the one who put it on, you rather read the military smut out in front of all British than do it, but if you try to take it off, Soap will put a new one back, so in the end you just compromised and let him claim your shop publicly.
“This place isn’t only served for you guys.”
“It isn’t?” 
Is it possible to refute when Kyle flashes you a smile that you almost get blind and start wondering if he can replace himself as your lights and save you the electricity bill? Maybe counting this as one of Kyle’s humor will be better than explaining. All required is to ignore the evil glints in his majestic brown eyes while he questions you.
But even though Kyle said he doesn’t have work today, he doesn’t stay long after he finishes his tea.
“Gotta head back to help the boss.” He grins as he turns the knob and waves you goodbye.
What’s weird is that   after Kyle leaves your shop, customers start flooding back. Many of them are familiars of the shop, as you’re sure they’re 141’s lackeys too.
You remember them see you as one of the henchmen… Although they're not as afraid as when they first visit the shop because of your hospitable attitude, you can still sense the attentiveness in their demeanor.
No matter what, you’re going to figure out what’s  actually  happening.
“Hey, you.” You walk to one of the minions' sides. “Mind to tell me about why you guys always disappear when Gaz or Ghost or others come here?”
“We…” The guy’s eyes avert, shooting his friend a glance for help “It’s just a coincidence.”
“Coincidence?” Raising your eyebrow, you lower your voice to make it  menacing 
“It  really  is, ma’am, nothing to bother with the Sirs.”
“Show me, they must have sent some messages to inform you guys, right? Let me take a look, or I will…” You will what?  Actually,  you have no idea what you can do to these guys that can lift you  up  and throw you into a trash bin like a shot “Wait a second.”
Quickly running back to your kitchen, you come back with your most intimidating weapon – 
“Or I will hit you with my pan!” You wiggle your arm as a threat.
“…” 
They don’t look scared of the pan for a tiny bit. Wait, you should take your kitchen knife instead, who the fuck will pick a pan? You idiot.
yet to your satisfaction, they still fish out their phone and let you have it, and you don’t waste any time as you open the texting app.
‘Announcement: Boss will arrive at the tea shop in 10 minutes, clear the shop immediately.’
So they  really  are scaring your customers off. Give the phone back to the poor guy with pity in your eyes, you bring him a few more biscuits.
You’re strolling through the aisles in the shop. You’re out of flour and sugar, and every Wednesday the groceries are on sale. You never miss these chances to build up savings.
What a nice shopping trip. Quiet, leisure, just enjoying your own time, picking up different brands of cereal and calculating which is cheaper like a competent broken adult. Things never go wrong when you’re alone.
“Hey lass!”
Well, you’re kidding, things go south too quickly. The voice’s too familiar. It must be a hallucination.
“Lass? Bonnie?”
 Don’t look back, keep walking. It’s not the detergent man with a stupid chicken crest yelling at you.
“HEY!” A hand pats you on your shoulder and makes you jump. Sighing internally and prey there won’t be any trouble caused by the man, you turn around and face him.
“Oh, Soap, Hi.” Shit, looks like you just can’t have a break from these men. “I didn’t hear you.”
“Even though the nan outside tells me te shut the fok up?”
“Yes.” you shamelessly admit, pro tip to confront people without shame “Why are you here by the way, Soap?”
“Oh, we’re in need of some things, so Ghost pulled off during our way home.”
You take a glimpse at his basket. A rope, a roll of duct tape, and a knife. 
They must be going on a picnic. Yes, don’t overthink. The rope is for securing the tent, the duct tape is for concealing the holes on it. Knife? they surely will need it when cutting apples.
The image of Ghost slaughtering… peeling apple you mean, with Soap and Gaz playing red light green light and John napping in the tent is so vivid in your mind that you need to restrain the laugh with a clear of your throat before you grunt in affirmation and restart your steps.
With Soap depriving you of your last respite, you choose to grab what you need and head to the counter. All you want is to get home, have a nice shower, and lie on the bed reading the new fic you found last night.
“Do ye need help?” He watches you shove the products in your bag, but 5 huge cartons of milk are too heavy for your weak limbs, you can feel your arms trembling under your attempt.
“It’s okay, my car’s near the door. I can carry this myself.” Again, cheekiness works every time. You don’t care about strangers staring at you struggling with the bag and exit the supermarket in a crab way, as long as it can bring you back into peace faster, and you almost tear up when you see your car, the white of it is like the lighthouse in the atramentous night.
Hey, but you don’t remember your car has a goddamn huge dent at its boot.
“Oh yeah, forgot to tell ye. Ghost crashed into a car before he parked ours, and he’s contemplating whether he should kidnap the driver when they come back and make them shut up, or just kill them.” Soap looks at you stopping in despair as he recognizes what you’re looking at. “So it’s your car aye?”
You don’t answer him, you just watch Ghost materialize from the Shadow beside your car and give you a nod.
Fuck your life.
a/n: ty for reading :D have a nice day/night!
Car -1, Peaceful night -1
tag list :D - @blackhawkfanatic @nexthyperfix @danielle143 @goodbyegh0st @reaperxxxxzz @kaoyamamegami @imyprice @cod-z @poppingaround @live-for-fluff @masterstr0ke @mall0ww
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iheartcurlyfries · 5 months
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put it in a ponytail, fuck it from behind.
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dealer!abby x nerdy!reader
CW: 18+, heavy mentions of drugs, wlw, strap sucking r!giving, strap fucking r!receiving, gentle abby, lots of uses of swears, car sex, praising, hair tugging, name calling, smut with very little plot, abby calls her strap her "dick", cringe (low-key)
requests are open!!<33
ever since you were younger you always loved the idea of drugs, you used them as an escape, a way to leave the real world even if it was only for a few hours.
and of course when you went to college you found out about the school's dealer, abby anderson. obviously you were excited, you knew if you ever needed a little help she'd hook you up, and when you did, she really did give you what you needed.
for some reason she always discounted you, never making you pay fully. you never understood why, maybe because you were a nerd? no one ever expected you to be into drugs, and when you asked her for some she was genuinely surprised.
'mm, here for your usual?' she'd smile as she saw you open her car door, she'd lean back on the leather seat, one hand on the steering wheel as her head lightly turned to you.
'yes please.' you'd say, you always got the same thing, a tiny zip lock bag of a few joints packed in. she knew you too well, she'd always make sure to pack the bag full, so you had extra.
she reached into her backpack, pulling out the bag before handing it to you, the smile forming into a sly grin. 'y'know what?' she whispered, spreading her legs slightly.
'hm?' you hummed, taking the bag into your hands and setting it aside. you reached your hand into your pocket, pulling out a stack of cash, handing it to her.
she chuckled before pushing your hand away. 'no no- it's on the house.' you shook your head, trying to hand her the cash again, she swatted your hand away. 'seriously, babe, it's free.'
'n' why's that?' you said, your back pressed against the leather passenger seat, gently and slowly putting the cash down. 'because you're my best customer, silly.' she'd smile, her hands sliding down her thigh as she looked at you. you returned the smile, 'are you sure? I always buy from you.' you mumbled, she nodded.
'it's fine, princess.' she teased, a soft giggle escaping her throat. 'I don't want cash from you.' she said, you noticed she slowly checked you out.
'then what can I do for a payment?' you rested your hand on your thigh, your eyes lingering on her as you almost admired her gaze on you. your tone was serious, you genuinely wanted to give her something in return, as always.
her gaze softened, she looked at you, wondering if you were being serious, but of course you were. you never understood sarcasm or anything, you'd never usually joke around like how she would, and that's something she liked about you.
she'd lean in, taking her beauty as you felt her heavy eyes gazing all over your body. her eyes were half lidded, she mostly kept eye contact with you, only stopping to gaze down your neck. she'd lean in more, slowly, so she could whisper in your ear. 'this.' she pulled back for a second, taking a moment to look at your lips before she crashed hers onto them.
your eyes fluttered as she kissed you, a sweet sound of ecstasy escaped your throat as she pulled you closer. she wrapped an arm around you, kissing you deeply. 'c'mere angel..' she whispered against your lips as her hand slid down, gripping your left hip before tugging on it. you obeyed, letting her guide you over the glove compartment and onto her lap, she slowly adjusted herself to make sure you were comfortable.
you leaned into her, the soft sounds of love escaping both of your lips as she guided both hands to your thighs. she gently rubbed them, she pulled at your thighs, reeling you in even more.
you couldn't help but lightly moan, her touch was intoxicating and you never wanted it to stop. her hands slid up to your hips, she gripped them gently before gently pushing them against her. a sweet sound escaped from a tiny gap in between your lips, you felt something, almost like a buldge in her pants?
your eyes widened as she pressed you into it more, almost making sure you knew what you were being grinded against. she pulled away from the kiss, letting out a pant before resting her gaze on you again. 'you feel that? mm.. it's m'dick..' she whispered, a smile growing on her face as she rubbed you against it, her smile only growing when you made more of your beautiful noises.
'do you want me to fuck you?' she'd ask, but you couldn't focus, her voice was already enough for you. you'd give her a slow nod, a soft smile on your face as you let her guide your hips. your nod was a good response to her, her hands left your hips and instead creeped up your sides. 'get on your knees.' she said, it was almost like a command, you slowly backed up, slowly lowering yourself down into the bottom of the car seat. once you were down there she slipped her jeans off, guiding them down to her ankles. she smiled at you, grabbing your chin and guiding it up to her strap. 'open up, angel..' you instantly opened your lips, enough for her to guide her strap into your mouth.
she slid a hand into your hair, guiding it into a ponytail so she could tug on it. you looked up at her, only the tip of her dick being in your mouth. she gently thrusted forwards, the head of the strap sliding into your mouth, it slightly hit the back of your mouth. she gently pushed in and out, slowly throat fucking you, she made sure to get her strap wet enough for you. she tugged on your hair, you closed your eyes, lightly gagging as her strap slid in and out of the opening to your throat.
she leaned back, staring at you, taking in every detail of you as she watched you take her dick like a champ. she uttered out light praise, smiling at you as the strap hit your uvula slightly. 'good girl..' she whispered before gently pulling the strap out of your mouth, putting her thumb onto your bottom lip. she pulled her hand back, patting her lap. 'c'mon pretty girl.' you smiled, the smile was so pure. you lifted yourself up, guiding yourself back onto abby's lap.
her hands grabbed at your hips again, leaning in to give you a quick kiss before she grabbed the waistband of your pants, quickly sliding them down. 'take em' off..' she mumbled. you giggled, helping her take your pants and panties off, sliding them down your ankles.
she smirked at you, the ends of her mouth curving up into a lustful expression. her hands pulled your hips fowards, guiding you into a different position. she turned you around, making you face the steering wheel, she rubbed her hands up your sides, her fingers circling them. she began to lift you up slightly, wrapping one arm around your waist before she guided you down on her dick.
you whined at the feeling, you felt a soft pain as she stretched you out, but the pain quickly faded. she leaned in to kiss your neck, whispering an 'I'm sorry, baby..' when she heard your whine. you cooed, reassuring her it was okay. she took your hair into her hand again, taking a hair band off of her wrist and guiding your hair into it slowly, making sure it wasn't tied tightly. with a light tug on your hair she gently started to thrust into you. rubbing down your thigh in slow motions as she leaned in to kiss down the back of your neck again.
you whimpered, her arm sliding around your waist again as she lifted you up and down onto her. tugging at your ponytail once more as a soft grunt left her lips. your eyes rolled back into your head as butterflies swirled in your stomach. her arms practically cradled you, her eyes took in your curves before she let her spare hand roam them.
'mph.. abby..' you grunted, your hands struggling to try and find something to grip. she slowly sped up her gentle thrusts, rubbing her hand over your stomach as she sucked a light hickey onto the back of your shoulder. 'do you like that angel? like the feeling of my dick fuckin' you?' she lightly teased, letting out a soft giggle into your ear as she pulled at your ponytail again, biting down onto your neck, not hard, very gently, making sure not to hurt you.
you'd nod, not sure if you were able to choke out a sentence, not when abby's dick being this deep inside you. she'd tug at your hair once more, 'use your words, sweetheart..' she mumbled. you whined, taking a second as you tried to get a sentence out. 'I love it-- mmggh..' your sentence got caught up as abby hit a weak spot, you gripped the steering wheel as she hit it again, and again.
she was driving you fucking insane, her dick fucked you so effortlessly, she slid in and out of you with delicate precision. your cunt started gushing around her dick, she only pushed in deeper, using the sound as a signal that you were close. you never felt this feeling before, a intense knot in your stomach growing and growing, desperately wanting release as she bucked her hips into you.
it all felt unreal, she was sending you to heaven and you didn't want it to stop. sweet moans left your mouth, another signal for abby to keep going, she loved the sound of your voice, the way you let out the prettiest noises that were only for her to hear. she needed to please you, making it a mission. she leaned back, letting go of your hair before she put both hands on your hips, helping you ride her. she praised you, her tone as genuine as possible, she made you feel good, amazing at that. 'you got this baby, cum f'me.' she said, her grip tightened on your hips, making it feel as if she was holding you down, making sure you couldn't get away. you squirmed, choking out a whine. 'm'gonna cum, abs..'
she'd chuckle, her hands gripping at the soft fat on your thighs. 'let it out, let it all out f'me..' she said, guiding you to your orgasm. it all felt like a blur, you bit down on your bottom lip, cursing under your breath as you felt it. you came down from your high like it was a waterfall, she helped ride out your orgasm. quickly speeding up as you'd moan: 'fuuuck.. abs..!' she'd smile, gently slowing down. your eyes would roll back again, as you felt your walls gush. she pulled you back, letting you lay on her. she'd kiss down your neck, rubbing her hands up your curves again. 'did so good f'me didn't you?' she asked, looking for an answer as you panted. 'mmhhmmm..' you'd say, your voice cracking. she'd chuckle, staring at your face with a gentle gaze, guiding a hand up your arm.
'I think I'd prefer this as payment..'
'me too...'
authors note: hsgshshsjs it's finally done, I seriously was tweaking writing this like my writers block rn is insane so sorry if it starts good and gets worse towards the end, idk I'm tired but yaah.
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cutielando · 7 months
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sleepy | l.n.
synopsis: in which you always fall asleep everywhere
my masterlist
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You had a very good relationship with your sleep schedule. 
That was primarily due to the fact that with Lando’s schedule, having to fly all around the world almost every week, the constant time zone changes. You had to get some sleep any free chance you would get, no matter where.
Which is something Lando, his team and the fans around the world have grown to love. Every time the fans would see you in the paddock, they knew that pictures of you sleeping in a clearly uncomfortable position somewhere in the McLaren garage would surf the internet.
It was everyone’s favorite moment from the whole weekend.
“Y/N, it’s nice to see you again!” Zak greeted you once you had arrived in the garage with Lando for his home race.
“I couldn’t possibly miss this one” you said, hugging the older man and then stepping back to stand beside Lando again.
“We’re very glad to have you here. How’d you sleep last night?” he jokingly asked, making Lando chuckle from beside you.
It became a cute joke within the team, seeing as you managed to fall asleep every time, no matter how well rested you might be.
“Pretty good, but I can’t guarantee that you won’t find me passed out again” you laughed, knowing that it didn’t really bother anyone truly.
Lando talked for a little bit with Zak before leading you to his driver’s room.
When you opened the door, you noticed a new blanket and pillow that hadn’t been there before, which made you look back at Lando, raising your eyebrow.
“Where did those come from?” you asked as you picked up the blanket, immediately savoring the fluffy feeling against your fingers.
“Figured I would buy you a blanket for when you want to nap God knows where, just to make sure you’re comfy and won’t get cold” he explained, shrugging like it was not a big deal.
You pouted, the small gesture warming your heart.
“That’s so sweet, thank you baby” you put down the blanket and gave Lando a hug, pecking his lips before you let him get ready.
You walked around the garage silently, not wanting to get in anybody’s way. The race was about to begin and there was a lot going around, the place being as noisy as a garage could get before lights out.
And yet still, you find your eyes dropping down, sleep slowly threatening to blindside you and make you fall asleep.
But you had vowed to yourself that you wouldn’t fall asleep here, not at Silverstone.
It would prove to be harder than you had originally thought.
“Hey” Lando found you just moments before he had to get in the car, clutching his helmet in his hands.
“Be safe, okay? Come back to me in one piece and don’t forget to have fun” you said, helping fix the balaclava on his head.
He nodded, puckering his lips for his good luck kiss. Once you gave it to him, he put on his helmet and disappeared in the car, leaving you alone with his engineers.
“Hey Y/N” Jon said as he came to stand beside you, watching Lando now driving away from the garage.
“Hey Jon, how are you?” you tried to pay attention to everything he was telling you, but it was getting harder and harder to concentrate.
“Did you get any sleep last night?” Jon chuckled once he saw how much you were struggling not to pass out.
You nodded. “I did, it’s just something about the atmosphere at the races that lulls me right back to sleep. But I promised myself I wouldn’t fall asleep at this one” you explained, stifling a yawn.
Jon nodded, making small talk for a little longer.
Once the race itself started, you were bundled up in your new blanket from Lando, a pair of McLaren earphones on your ears and sitting beside Cisca, Lando’s mother.
You were trying very hard to follow the race, but the tiredness was creeping in more and more, until you found yourself resting your head against the wall behind you, letting yourself drift to a deep sleep.
When Cisca noticed that you were more quiet than usual, she looked over and saw how peacefully you were sleeping, albeit with your head in a very uncomfortable position.
Smiling fondly to herself, she slowly took your head in her hands and moved you so you were laying with your head in her lap. She absentmindedly weaved her hands through your hair while intently watching the race on the screens.
It wasn’t until the last 3 laps that you woke up, silently kicking yourself for falling asleep.
You looked confusedly around you, noticing Cisca above you smiling.
“Good morning, sunshine. Just in time for the last laps of the race” she explained, helping you settle back into a sitting position.
“I was out for that long?” you moaned, cursing to yourself that you missed the entire race because you were sleeping.
“Don’t beat yourself up dear, the important thing is that you’re here with us” she comforted you, rubbing your arm while averting her attention back to the screen.
You watched the screen intently, cheering and screaming once Lando had crossed the checkered flag in P2.
Both Cisca and Adam gave you tight hugs, congratulating the entire team alongside you.
You walked out of the garage with the two of them, your blanket still wrapped tightly around you as you walked towards the podium, your hands linked with Lando’s mother.
Lando parked his car in front of the number 2 sign, jumping out of the car and running over to where you were waiting for him by the barriers.
“I’m so proud of you!” you squealed as soon as he was within arms length, hugging him close.
“Did you sleep through the race?” he asked as he pulled up his visor, his eyes twinkling.
You smiled sheepishly, making him laugh loudly inside of his helmet.
“My sleepy girl” he mumbled, giving you a squeeze before moving on to hug his parents.
The next day after the race, photos of you sleeping in Cisca’s lap circulated on the internet, making you and your boyfriend laugh. 
Laugh because your habit had turned your relationship into a three-person relationship.
You, Lando and your sleep.
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auto-usa · 2 months
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miguelsslvt · 1 year
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ex nerd! scientist! miguel o'hara x slutty! reader
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part two here!
word count: 745
TW: smut, nsfw, d/s themes, mentions of pet play.
A/N: THIS IS INSPIRED BY @nymphomatique SO PLS CHECK THEIR ONE OUT!! their drabble rlly inspired me so i thought maybe i could add a little twist;) welcome to the club!
back in your college days, you were.. promiscuous, some would say. well, you were the biggest slut on campus. if your body count didn't say it all, then the rumours sure did.
you took chemistry, maths, physics and biology. you wanted to be a physics scientist, partially because of the thought of there being lots and lots of different universes, but mostly because the pay was brilliant.
miguel o'hara was your 'pet' back in your college days, per-say.
you used him for your homework, and in exchange you would fuck him, give him head, handjobs, you name it. you took miguel's virginity, and every bit of innocence he had left. he was totally smitten by you. i mean, a pretty, popular girl giving him attention no one ever did? sign him up.
miguel was the biggest loser you knew back then. he wasn't the most muscly, and he had those ridiculous black square glasses, and his outfits were shocking. he had a slight lisp due to his late braces, and his hair was far too long and he clearly struggled to maintain it. to keep it blunt, he wasn't cool at all. he was a loser, a simp, and a goody two-shoes. perfect as your little pet.
it wasn't until after graduation did you stop your little encounters. after leaving college, you blocked his number and left campus on the same day. you thought you'd never have to see that nerdy freak again. well, that's what they all say, right?
that was until you finally got a job at ALCHEMAX. you were a 'technological support scientist', which sounded smart but really all you got to do was watch all the better scientists do tests. you didn't mind, it did more then just pay your bills. hell, with the checks you're bringing in you could probably buy a new car in a few months!
you thought things were all sunshine and rainbows, until the thunder walked in. it's funny though, you didn't realise thunder looked like 6'9 tall and 310 pound of pure muscle and attractiveness. his braces were gone, his hair more clean and cut a little shorter, and his glasses just resting on top of his head, but you knew exactly who he was.
'm-miguel o'hara?!' you said, shocked. he turned around swiftly, looking down at you, before his eyes widened. 'y/n l/n?' he said, surprised. you both had become blushing messes. well, his glow up sure came after only 3 years.
'you.. work here?' you asked, absolutely awe-struck. 'i.. do. i am a technological scientist here. you work here too? why haven't i ever seen you around before?' he asked, intriuged. 'i-it's my first day here. you.. matured.' you said, clearly checking him out.
the man smirked. he actually smirked. the man who would whimper, begging to just get off on your shoe, smirked at you like he was in control. 'and you look as gorgeous as 3 years ago.'
your heart stopped. who was this man? this muscular, defined, confident, completely self aware man.. this wasn't miguel. there was no way.
'you..you're very different, miguel.' you said, a blushing mess. he chuckled, putting some latex gloves on. fuck, even his hands were attractive. 'well alot happens to a guy.' he says smoothly, his voice deeper. god this was going to be hard.
♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎
that very night, you were spread out on the bed, and you didn't recognise the man above you.
3 years ago, a scrawny desperate nerdy little boy was on his knees, as if you were a goddess. and now, that very man was on top of you, kissing your neck so skilfully, as if he's done this for years. his thrusts had rhythm, as he grinded along your g spot with ease, you let out a gasp and a breathy moan, as he shushed you.
'sh, bonita.. you've changed. where's that dominatrix you were back in college days? why are you so.. obedient?~' he whispered in your ear, as you moaned again.
'i-i think i-it's y-you that changed, m-miguel..' you breathily said in response, as he chuckled. 'oh no, sweetheart, i'm still the same loser that was begging on his knees for you. just now, i've learnt how to please you as well as me.' he said in response, his hands moving down from your breasts to your hips, his cock deep inside you as he grinded his hips as you felt every inch.
god, is this heaven?
♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎♥︎♡︎
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