#c: fick

[ladyddanger]

I want c!sapnap and c!wilbur to meet please

[bambisplaypenn]

Your desperate actions only stirred Deku on, his hands tightly clutched on top of the desk. His breath was heavy he tried to control himself, otherwise he would cum right there and then.. His messy hair sticking to his forehead as he slowly readjusted his feet. His cock bullying the small bump deep inside your walls.

So tight for me.. Gonna make you full okay?

He mumbled almost to himself before his hips pulled back, balls slapping against your ass as he picked up a harsh pace to push the best spots inside you, especially when the tip of his dick reached your cervix, blunt head bullying the spongy spot

-Izuku

Mhm! Please, fuck!

My eyes cross, my vision blurs, and my jaw slacks to let out a silent scream at your pistoning hips. The weak hold on my thighs loosens, my hands reaching to rest just above pelvis — a frail attempt to slow your harsh thrusts. Each plunge of your cock, each nudge of your angry red tip against my poor cervix has me seeing stars. My ability to speak to slowly being stolen with every roll of your hips, and drool beginning to drip from the corners of my mouth — truly becoming fucked out with every passing second.

S’fucking big, Izu. Fuckin’ me s’good.. don’t stop!

I slur, a starry eyed and hazed look in my brown irises. My small weak hands claw at your dress shirt, my legs lazily hanging off the edge of your desk and shaking to the rhythm of your thrusts. If they listened closely, even the civilians below could hear the harsh wet skin slapping against one another and desperate moans before us — who’s moans they belonged too remains a mystery. More of my slick pools out from cunt and dribbles down your shaft, smearing against the exposed parts of your thighs.

Splittin’.. pretty wife open.. s’good.. look how messy and s-sticky I am. Baby gonna.. mess all over you..

[justasmallbloginabigklainefandom]

YO THE BIG RUN MUSIC SLAPS

[aastarions]

a story in 4 screenshots

[boygirlctommy]

oh ya i dont think i posted this yet. kiet d'kaio my babygirl i love it so much

[liveshauntedmoved]

tag drop

[god1ngs]

drista What The Fuck

and noooo big b i will not cover my ears just get better taste

- tommy

look big t...... theyre kinda..........

[shiroselia]

Fick insider information av min svensklärare att det bara är två elever på hela skolan som satte A på våra Nationella Prov PM.

Jag som vill ha A är in shambles och bönar och ber att jag är en av dem

[psalmsofpsychosis]

of you; of me

// Chapter 20 of Lacan's Seminar XI // Batman: The Killing Joke // Euripides, Alkestis, tr. by Anne Carson // i love you, it looks like rain — June Gehringer // Batman: Europa // The Nation's Saddest Love Poems — Sam J. Grudgings // Batman #67: Knightmares // Edna St. Vincent Millay, from a letter to Arthur Davison Ficke written c. October 1945 // The Dark Knight Returns // Hesitation Outside the Door — Margaret Atwood // Batman #144 // Snow and Dirty Rain — Richard Siken // Batman: Cacophony #3 // quote by Etel Adnan // Batman/Catwoman #3 // unknown source. //

[lxvebun]

Heart-shaped kisses. HSR edition ♡

buns notes I am not caught up with the game at all, literally just passed Gepards fight but thats not going to stop me. I hope you enjoy!

content Blade/Dan heng/Gepard/ Jing Yuan x gender neutral reader. Fluff. Kissing of course. Food consumption Gepards and jing yuan is a little long but I will not apologize. I know nothing of chess forgive me i tried to describe everything as vague as possible shsjs. Use of nickname love. Eng is not my first language so i'm sorry for any mistakes. Not completely proofread

D c and ed blogs do not interact or your fave will never come home<3

All heart shaped kisses fics♡

⁎⁺˳✧༚Blade໒꒱.*

Every sweet touch of your lips to his feels like stars are awakening within his veins, Igniting a burning, irresistible hunger, a desire, to hold you closer and selfishly steal another sweet kiss, and then another, and then just one more<3, With no doubt in his heart, you are the closest thing to paradise he will ever experience in his lifetime, and he's going to indulge in it for as long as you're willing to stay.

Maybe you're the reason he's still here, to soften the sharp edges of his blade.

⁎⁺˳✧༚Dan Heng໒꒱.*

Kisses with Dan Heng always happen in private, under warm candlelight, and with only the stars as a witness. He completely melts into you, the weight on his shoulders disappearing just for a moment as his senses are completely enveloped by you, and the sweetness of your kisses and the warmth radiating from your skin from where his hands are resting on your cheeks, rubbing heart shapes into your skin and tilting your head just right to meet his lips. With your hearts beating in sync, he knows he has found his forever home<3

Gepard and jing yuan under the cut!

⁎⁺˳✧༚Gepard໒꒱.*

It's not until a few months into your relationship that you have your first proper kiss with him, not counting the ones you sneakily press to his cheek when he's distracted before scattering off or the soft forehead kisses he gives you in the early morning when you're still warmly tucked into bed and he (with pain in his heart) has to leave early >:(

''I want our first kiss to be special,'' he says quietly, hand coming up to rub the back of his neck as a nervous habit, trying his best to soothe the blush trailing its way to his cheeks. "If you don't mind" (He is so ficking cute I canfbehwhs) Of course you wouldn't mind it!

Every day his love and adoration for you blooms stronger, like vines in your name are wrapped around his heart and soul, evergrowing and ever consuming leaving no empty space. And this is exactly what he told you (after a little push from Serval) , under soft candlelight over the surprise dinner he prepared for you. Unlike a proper seating arrangement, you both sat next to each other on the same side of the table, enjoying the closeness of it all.

He's acting a little odd, a little nervous, it's hard to read but you can tell. It's not until after dessert that you figure out why his hands are shaking slightly and his eyes keep drifting off to your lips

''Permission to lean in? '' he whispers, lips hovering over yours and you're not quite sure if it's your heart that you hear beating so loudly or his.

''Permission granted. '' you reply back with a smile

His kisses are surprisingly strong, and any nervousness from the moments before completely vanishes as he eagerly leans in with enough power behind it to slightly make you lean back, one hand coming up to caress the back of your neck and the other one still holding yours. Strong as his kisses are they are nonteless loving and breathtaking, he's leaning into you like you're his personal source of oxygen. It's all a very cute contrast to when you both pull away and he's looking off to the side saying "I hope that was good" You answer him with another kiss<3

⁎⁺˳✧༚Jing Yuan໒꒱.*

You're not sure why you keep agreeing to this. Your mind is running through every possible outcome and he still manages to beat you. The pri-

"Oh, come on, love" You ignore the fluttering of your heart at the nickname. It seems like the little mental battle that was going on was evident on your face. Sitting before you across the chessboard, failing to hide his smirk behind his hands sits Jing Yuan, your biggest enemy, the bane of your existence, the secret crush and love of your life. " I promise I'm not stealing any pieces this time, you almost have me"

The little sparrow on your shoulders is trying its best to comfort you, rubbing his little head against your cheek and chirping so sweetly, that it's enough to make you willing to keep playing and move another one of your pieces.

Jing Yuan sends you a soft smile before his eyes trail down to study the board. You don't play with a time limit, so he's taking his time to calculate his next move. He didn't lie, you are very close to winning. And finally, you see that too, but you also see how there is an opening for jing yuan to get the upper hand again. You are trying your hardest not to roll your eyes at it, If only you could distract him, intervene with the on going calculation in his mind

Just as he picks up the exact piece you were fearing you quickly blurt out. " I want you to kiss me"

His movements slow and you can hear his breath hitch, his brain trying to catch up with your words and it's enough to make him misplace his piece. He look at you again, as you quickly move your pieces, winning the game. The sparrow on your shoulder fluttering around you in joy and the beautiful melody of your laugh echoing around him.

I win" you say proudly, too occupied with reveling in your victory, you don't hear him get up and move over next to you. close enough to feel his warmth, far enough to get up if you want. It's not until the sparrow that once sat on your shoulder flies past you to sit on his knee that you snap out of your victory haze

"jing yuan?"

"it's quite rude to say things you don't mean, love"

maybe it is the buzz of winning lingering and boosting your confidence because you have no clue where your next words come from

"who says I didn't mean it?"

with a small chuckle escaping his lips and a gentle smile on his face, he sends you one last nod, silently asking for permission, just to be sure, and quickly after receiving a nod back as confirmation, cupping your chin in his hands, thumb trailing along your jawline, pressing a feathery kiss to it and then locking your lips with his.

you let him take the lead, the one time you're fine with losing. The kiss is gentle and intoxicating, enough to make your head fog up with hearts and flowers and spread a delicious warmth all over your body. it takes a while for both of you to open your eyes after pulling away. it's Jing Yuan who breaks the silence. In a slightly flustered state he asks

"are you up for another round?"

"another kiss or another game?"

"whichever you prefer the most"

[tonixe]

so I needddddd a randy meeks x reader where Randy records reader when they fuck and billy or stu is at his house and finds the tapes the rest is up to you pls and thank you—🧸🫧

``💿📷

n.o.t.e.s - There should be more randy fics tbh. Lowkey, thank you for requesting this. 💗 Im fully going to open requests next week <3

w.a.r.n - unprotected sex, penetration, p in the v, sex tape, dub-con, oral sex (m receiving), Randy is a virgin.

p.a.i.r.i.n.g - Randy Meeks x fem!reader

w.c. - 1.3k

"Randy~" you whined, laying down on his bed wearing nothing but his oversized shirt and your f/c panties. You tilted your head to the side as he approached you.

"What?" he muttered under his breath, going back to searching for a movie to watch in his drawer. "Im bored" You turned our body to him and slightly got up from his bed.

He made a victory noise as he grabbed ahold of two horror movies in his hand, shaking them to you. "Hellraiser or Carrie," he smiled before opening the DVD player.

"What about..Body double?" you said, holding it up.

"That's basically porn in a movie," Randy said, turning to you. "I know, I just want to watch something that eventful, you know." you pointed at him. Randy cocked his eyebrows at you.

"What about..Sleepaway camp?"

"Let's do something better" You got up from the bed, slowly massaging his shoulder, kissing his neck, and pressing your bare chest on his back.

"Instead of watching it, let's record it," you whispered to his ear before you lowered your hands toward his crotch.

"What are you doing, Y/N" he steps and turns around to look at you, "just being entertain, besides what the harm I'm in that" you cocked your head at him, teasing him.

"I have to stay a virgin, people who have sex always die in the end" Randy exclaimed at you, "really, but what if" you walked up near him, lifting your shirt and throwing it on the floor, "Nobody has to know, we can record our little horror movie, while you fuc my guts" you whispered to him.

His face turning brightly red, before accident looking at your cheat, before he look away covering his eyes.

"What the hell, Y/N" he yelled,

"Come on, Randy your acting like you never seen me naked before" you sighed, "besides you can't be a virgin forever, ran~" you whispered, slowly kissing his neck and gently biting his ear.

You glanced down at his pant, seeing that your attempts were working, "your hard" you said, gently taking his face.

His face is still red, "Come on, babe" you said, looking at him while battering your eyelashes. Randy didn't think of losing his virginity he would lose it to you, he muttered a yes under his breath.

"You'll never forget this, I promise" You backed away from him, you took out a tripod, setting up near his bed randy to his surprise.

"You brought a fucking tripod, Y/N" he exclaimed, biting his lip.

"I was hoping you would say yes, just something to keep if I'm not here" You winked at him, before hitting record on it.

"Lay down" you ordered Randy before you got down on your knee before him, looking up at him, "You ready" you smiled at him.

"S-sure" he muttered out.

The sound of you unzipping his pants made randy sweat, before you threw his pant to the side, taking off his boxers, revealing his hard dick, with a red tip.

"God, Randy I didn't know you were hiring this from me" before you took your hand to pump it.

"F-fuck" he stutters out, he argued his back, hiding his face from you. "Don't be shy, ran~" you teased before taking his length laying the tip. On your tongue, licking it.

Sinful noises came out from Randy's mouth, before you took his fick into your mouth, you lifted your attention to randy red face.

"Damn it, Y/N" he moaned out.

You pushed your mouth further down his length,. gagging on it a little before going down and back. Before you felt randy's hand forcing your head down on hiss pelvis, gagging you. Tears pricking up on your lashes, before looking at randy.

He face fucked you before he spilled his cum down your throat. You took his dick to open your mouth, wiping your saliva off your face, "Damn, Randy I never knew you could do that" you said, giving him a little smile, before discarding your panties. "Sorry" he responded, before you got on top of him.

"It's okay, I love this side of you" before you lifted his shirt, surprisingly showing his tamed muscles. "Ready" you whispered, giving a little glance to the still-recording camera, you blinked your long lashes at him.

You held his shoulder before lowering yourself to his length, the sharp pain. You heard a moan from randy, as he gently gripped your waist. As you got adjusted to his large size.

"Fuck Randy, your huge" you whispered, already feeling full.

"F-fuck" Randy stuttered out, looking at you his eyes filled with lust, "just move...please" Randy begged out, gripping your waist desperately.

You rolled your hips, lifting yourself and pressing yourself down slowly, his size ripping you apart. Biting your lip in pain.

Randy gripped on your waist digging into your waist, he groaned. "S-shit" you slowly ride him, you pelvis pressing into him

He threw in head back, groaning. Before he gripped your waist forcing you down, in a reckless pace.

You moaned out loud, your breast bouncing to the thrusting of his cock into you. You back arch, as closing your eyes.

You wall spasming around his cock, your tongue lolling out, with pleasure. His pelvis slammed into yours.

"F-fuck, Randy I-im close" you moaned,

"M-me too!" he groaned, before his pelvis slammed into yours, your boobs bouncing to the pace.

Before moaning out, wetting his cock. Randy slammed his waist into you one last time, "W-wait Randy-" you got cut off by him spilled himself into you, your cunt milking his cock.

You body trembles before getting off of Randy, falling onto him, trying to catch your breath, his did still inside you.

The camera still recording.

"Holy shit" Randy muttered, he turned his head toward you, "That was the best sex I ever had"

"It the only sex you ever had" you muttered before Randy got on top of you. "That was better than any movie" he exclaimed happily, his hand near your head, as he was on top you.

"I fucking love you, Y/N," he said; you gently grabbed his hand and caressed it, "I love you too, Randy," you whispered with a smile.

You towards the camera, "Randy," you rubbed his shoulders, "Let's call it the virgin night" you gave him a sinful smile, Randy looked at you with a smile before leading you into a make-out.

"Damn, Randy, how many movies do you even have" Stu yelled, turning his head toward Randy, Billy sitting over on the couch, laying his feet on the coffee table.

"There are never enough movies," Randy grabbed DVD from Stu, "Besides, it's the shining; it's a fucking classic," Randy exclaimed before placing it on the coffee table.

"If you say so dude" Stu responded, before Stu looked for a movie to watch, searching through Randy's movie collection. "What's this" Stu picked up, which caught Billy's attention, "The virgin night, never seen this before" Stu took out, the DVD.

"Probably wasn't released yet, Randy does work at the video store" Billy took his leg off the coffee table, as Stu sat down examing it, "Sounds like a porn movie" Billy muttered, looking at the DVD.

"Wanna watch it?" Stu asked.

"Sure,," Billy shrugged before Stu placed it into the DVD player, grabbing the remote, turning it on.

Not before long, they saw you naked laying there, before billy interrupted "Isn't that Y/N" he said in disbelief.

"No fucking way, that nerd actually did that" Stu looked at the screen, before Randy walked into the living room with a bowl of popcorn, "Did you guys found a movie?" Randy asked

"Yea" Stu answered still looking at the screen.

"What is it?" before Randy sat down, with the bowl of popcorn.

"Your sex tape" Stu and Billy nonchantly responded.

"What.."

[mayflora-18]

Incorrect CoD Quotes #8

*Soap grabs a balloon filled with helium and inhales*

Price: Oh god not again!

Soap: HOW Are unicorns fake but a giraffe is real!?

Ghost: WHAT?

Soap: Like, what’s more believable?

Gaz: Where are you going with this?

Soap: A horse with a horn *aggressively claps on “horn”* ORRRRR a leopard moose camel with a 40 foot NECK?

Sherlock: I work with idiots 😑

———

Ghost: Does anyone else think…

Soap: That’s dangerous.

Ghost: That some people… just need a high five…

Price: That’s nice, Simon.

Ghost: In the head…

Roach: Yassss

Ghost: With a chair?

Gaz: Why are you like this?

———

Ghost: Okay, what does A stand for?

Roach: Arson.

Ghost: Aww you’re so good.

Soap: Okay B. What does B stand for?

Roach: Barson.

*Soap laughs*

Gaz: What stands for C?

Roach: Commit arson.

Ghost: Ooooooh!

Price: D!?

*Roach looks at Price and smiles*

Price, thinking: Please be normal.

Roach: Don’t come near me… I’m going to commit ARSON!!!!

*everyone else laughs*

Price, sarcastic: I raised him real well.

———

Sherlock: How did you take down Captain America?

Ghost, using a terrible German accent: Ve shot him in ze legs because his shield is ze size of a dinner plate.

König, overhears Ghost: …Fick dich🖕(“Fuck you” in German)

———

Ghost: Umm, do you have a pencil by any chance?

Rudy: No, but I have a knife…

Ghost: What-what?

Rudy: And I know how to cut a bitch… *whispers* Try me

———

*Rudy cooking in the kitchen*

Alejandro, walking in: Hey mi amor?

Rudy: ahuh?

Alejandro: If somebody told you they’d give you a million dollars for knocking me out, what would you do?

*Rudy immediately slaps Alejandro with a frying pan*

Rudy: Where’s my money?

Alejandro, on the floor: 😵‍💫

———

Roach, singing for Sherlock: Somebody come get her, she’s fucking up my dinner~

*Sherlock throws a plate at and he falls down*

Sherlock, singing for Roach: Somebody come get him, before I fucking end him!~

———

Nikolai: There’s a spider!

Laswell: So what do you me to do?!

Nikolai: KILL IT!

Laswell: YOU SAW IT FIRST!

Nikolai: YOU KILL IT!

Laswell: You’re the man!!

Nikolai: Since when?!

———

Stupid-drunk!Roach to Sherlock: You so crazy… I think I wanna have your babies.

Sherlock: 😐

Gaz, thinking: I don’t know if I should be confused or just jealous.

Soap, just confused: How would that even work?

Ghost : I think it’s time for you to go to sleep, Roach.

———

Sherlock: Listen. Am I the most attractive person in the world?

Soap: Is this a trick question?

Sherlock: No. But do I have a great personality?

Price: *face palms*

Sherlock: Also no. But do I wake up every morning and try to be the best person I can be?

Ghost, has only heard the first half of this bit before: I actually don’t know this one…

Sherlock: No.

Nikolai: …Sweetie, did Ghost get to you?

———

Price : Repeat after me: I can do this!

Nikolai: I can do this.

Price: I’m ready to burn some calories!

Nikolai: I’m ready to burn some calories.

Price: I’m done eating fast food and drinking alcohol.

Nikolai: …I’m ready to burn some calories.

Price: Alright, let’s get started!

———

Soap, Gaz, Ghost: Ahhh

Soap: We’re d-d-d driving in a-

Gaz: Car! Destination drug dealer’s-

Ghost: Bar! Pass the mic over to Price-!

Soap: Shit, we forgot Price.

Ghost: …But we can’t turn back because we’ve too far!

Gaz: We have to turn back, though. We can’t leave him.

———

Alejandro: You eat so fucking gross, Graves. Do you eat like that on dates?

Graves, cheeks puffed up with meatballs and marinara sauce on his face: …I don’t go on dates.

Alejandro: Exactly. There’s a reason why no one takes you on dates.

Graves: Well damn! Who hurt you today?

Alejandro: Bitch nobody.

———

Graves: Hey, Sergeant. …Soap.

Soap: What?

Graves: *hands Soap a coffee cup* Try this coffee and tell me what it tastes like.

Soap: *takes the cup and gives it a sip* Hazelnut?

Graves: I don’t know, I found it in the garbage.

*Soap tries to spit it out*

———

Gaz: Nikolai, what’s wrong with Sherlock? She seems angry.

Nikolai: She’s totally fine.

Gaz: Okay? Well, where’s Graves?

Sherlock, walking into the room: Maybe he got sick… or went missing… OR GOT HIT BY A BUS!!

Gaz: 🙊

*Sherlock leaves the room*

Gaz: Totally fine, huh?

Nikolai: Yeah… Totally fine.

———

Nikolai: So, the man that tried to kill you - what did he look like?

Sherlock: He was so hot. It was crazy.

Price: O-ok. But what did he look like?

Sherlock: I mean where should I start? Uh, he was tall, you know, maybe 6’3” or 6”4”? Uh absolutely just jaaacked! But not like scary-body-builder jacked. Like, he was ripped but he still had a soft touch. You could totally fall asleep in his arms.

Price: Alright what did his face look like??

Sherlock: Well- uh- y’know Brad Pitt?

Price: Yeah?

Sherlock: Forget Brad Pitt. This guy was hotter.

Nikolai: Hotter than Brad Pitt??

Sherlock: Hotter than Bradley Joseph Pitt.

Soap: That’s crazy!

Sherlock: I would pay money to gaze into those eyes again.

Gaz: Even after he tried to kill you?

Sherlock: I almost wish he’d stabbed me to death and took his time doing it just so the last thing I saw could’ve been those ocean blue eyes.

Ghost: I’m getting a little hot just off your description so I can only imagine how it felt to be there!

Sherlock: Insane.

Gaz: Gosh I can’t believe he was hotter than Brad Pitt.

Ghost: Hey, what did she say about Brad Pitt?

Gaz: Oh, shoot! I-I-I-I I’m sorry!

Soap: Yeah, forget Brad Pitt!

Gaz: Done! Forgotten! Who is he?

Ghost: He doesn’t exist.

Soap: He’s gone.

Gaz: Bradley David Pitt is no more.

Sherlock: Good!

Price and Nikolai: 😑

(Note: Sorry there was no post yesterday! There will be more later, promise!)

[silentsneezes]

it's been awhile since I found a klaus snz fick so I'm excited about giving prompts!!

klaus wakes up in the middle of the night, coughing and sneezing, he can almost feel the snot slightly teasing his nose but he doesn’t want to wake up dave, who's next to him and holding him tightly. little does he knows that Dave is awake and guilty enjoying his suffering? hehe

thank you for the prompt! i’ve been needing inspiration :) i hope you enjoy this!

also klaus is canonically nombinary in the comics and uses he/they prns, so that’s what i used! sorry for any spelling or grammatical errors - i wrote some of this at 2 am lol. the characters are (sadly) not mine!

Klaus stirs in his sleep, pulling the blanket higher up on his chest and shivering. His body aches, even as he lays comfortably in bed, and he can tell his fever’s gotten worse. Their curly hair lays heavily against their sweaty, damp forehead.

He snuggles closer to Dave, burying his face into the older man’s chest and draping an arm over his torso, grateful for his warmth. He closes his eyes, willing himself to go to sleep, but his body has other plans; his nose twitches softly as a burning sensation travels from the tip of his nose to the back. They quickly clamp two fingers around their nose and suppress two small, silent stifles. Dave stirs after the stifled double, and Klaus holds his breath, hoping to quell the itch and not wake his peacefully sleeping boyfriend. After a few seconds, Dave’s soft snoring continues, and Klaus relaxes.

Unfortunately, the stifles did nothing to appease the itch in Klaus’s nose; Klaus’s breath hitches softly, his chest rising and falling with each teasing breath. After a particularly desperate hitch, Klaus jolts forwards with a soft, but damp, “heHTschHew!”

They sniffle wetly and reach for the box of tissues on the bedside table while trying not to wake Dave. After fumbling around for a minute or two, Klaus manages to grab the tissue box, which is just barely within reach. He grabs a tissue and immediately buries his nose into the soft fabric, “hHd’Dtsch! hh-Ng’xtshcew! jesus c-heh-chrrRT’dn’gshew! christ,” each stifle grates his sensitive throat and shakes the small bed. Klaus watches Dave closely, but the older man’s eyes stay closed. He swears Dave’s mouth twitches, but he’s too preoccupied with his running nose to investigate. They blow their nose into another tissue, cringing at the amount of mess each blow produces.

Klaus tosses the tissues onto the floor and clears his throat softly. He can feel the phlegm sitting at the base of his throat, and swallows painfully. He inhales sharply, his lungs suddenly determined to expel whatever air and mucus was bothering them. They roll over, probably a little too harshly, and muffle a series of coughs into their pillow, trying desperately to muffle the noise. His chest rattles deeply with each cough, and by the time he’s done coughing, he’s panting. He glances over at Dave, certain the older man would be looking back at him, but no, he’s still sound asleep. Klaus laughs to himself; he finds it incredibly endearing that Dave sleeps like a rock, oblivious to the world around him.

He allows himself to sniffle a little louder, convinced that Dave is knocked out. As he sniffles, an itch ignites at the back of his sinuses; it starts as a prickly, tickling sensation, but becomes more intense as his breath hitches delicately. The sneezes tease him, making his pink nostrils flare and his eyebrows furrow. They’re too preoccupied with the need to sneeze to notice Dave shifting beside them, moving closer to his sneezy partner.

“hHih-hihhH-nn’GXgt!” Klaus stifles a harsh sneeze, wincing as it grates against his sore throat. Dave feels warmth flood his stomach and lower abdomen, and he waits tentatively for Klaus to sneeze again: they never sneeze just once.

“hhehrgX’Dtshcw! n’gDtschu!”

Klaus’s body shutters with each surpressed sneeze, and it takes everything ounce of self control Dave has not to kiss his partner as Klaus’ stifles become more desperate.

Dave’s desire turns to guilt as Klaus doubles over with chest rattling coughs, burrying his face into a pillow once again. Dave rubs little circles on Klaus’s back until the fit subsibes.

“Just breathe,” He mumbles softly, kissing Klaus’s forehead after they catch their breath. It doesn’t take long for Klaus’s coughing to subside, “sorry to wake you Davey,” Klaus apologizes quietly, voice hoarse.

“No worries,” Dave mutters as he pulls Klaus closer, “bless you, by the way.”

Klaus grins sleepily, “thanks love”

Dave blushes at the pet name, and his blush deepens as Klaus’s nostrils twitch and he ducks into his elbow, “hehHm’PTsCH!” the first sneeze catches them off gaurd, so they mist the air slightly, “hhHrRnsChew!-n’gSCHew!” the second two sneezes come rapidly, one tumbling out after the other.

Dave shifts so Klaus can’t feel his obvious boner and whispers, “bless you bug. you okay?”

He replays the sound of Klaus’s fit in his head, feeling warmth pool in his stomach as Klaus continues sniffling.

“It’s just a little cold, nothing I can’t handle,” Klaus mumbles sleepily, rolling over so they’re facing Dave and burying their face in his neck. Dave kisses Klaus’s forehead and shivers as Klaus sniffles next to his ear.

Dave can hear as Klaus’s breath catches in their throat, hitching delicately. He swears Klaus is teasing him on purpose, but he doesnt care; he loves it.

“-…. hhih?- ugh,” Klaus rubs at his itchy nose, resulting in a quiet squelch and another wet sniffle, “hhHRD-gNSchEW!”

Klaus burries his nose in Dave’s neck as he sneezes desperately, oblivious of the spray on his boyfriends neck and his upper lip. Their breath is still hitcing. Dave can feel as their chest rises and falls dramatically with each teasing hitch.

“Ble-,”

“hHedDTXCHew! h’nNGXtsh!”

“Bless you,” Dave whispers, voice bearly audible. Dave squirms, feeling hot and tight in his boxers as Klaus sniffles and fights against his cold ridden nose.

He sighs and gives in, kissing Klaus’s neck softly, which immediately gets his partner’s attention. Klaus reciprocates by kissing Dave passionately, ignoring the dampness of their nose and upper lip.

After a few moments, Klaus places a hand on Dave’s chest and pushes him away to the best of his ability before ducking to the side.

“shi-GTDdZCH!! h’nGZ’ck! Christ on a cracker,” Klaus barely manages to stifle the double, body shaking with each suppressed sneeze.

“Bless you,” Dave whispers against Klaus’s lips. Klaus kisses Dave again before tucking their face into his neck.

It doesn't take long for the couple to fall asleep again, although Klaus still wakes up frequently to cough, sneeze, and occasionally kiss Dave.

The End

[malusienki]

VERY LONG POST SORRY. THOUGHTS

lisette doing laundry and peeling potatoes gave me extra life honestly

AH MES AMIS BIS!!!!! DUDE. OH MY HFO PHENOMENALLY FICKING DONE.

il faut partir was LOVELY. AHHHHH!!!! AND SO WAS LIFERALLH EVERY OTHER THING SHE SANG BUT AGHHHHJJJJ

the woman playing the marquise also has my heart genuinely. I LOOOOOOVED HER!!!!!!!

this was SO SO GOOD I LITERALLY COULD NOT SORP GRINNING THROUHHPUT THE WHOLE THING!!!!!

i LOBED the little tidbits of silly dialogue and stuff like that

lisette rambling in french as she angrily peels potatoes gave me life pt 2

ENJOYED GHR FUCKING DISCORDANT SINGING DURING THE (i cant rememebr the behinnging$ WHERE SHE WAS SINGING THE ARIA ABOJT APHRODITE I LOVE IT SM.

ALSO THE WAY SHE ANGRILY PLAYED THE PIANO DISCORDANTLY WHILE SINGING

WVERY TIME RATAPLAN WAS SAID I LITERALLY INTERNALLY GIGGLED!!!! i am so normal about this opera

the DUCHESS HAD ME CRACKING UP SHE SPOKE ENGLISH AT RANDOM POINTS IT WAS SO RANDOM BUT SO FICKING FUNNY

salut A LA FRANCE IN PERSON LIFERALLY MADE ME REVIVED. I AM A NEW PERSON

TONIO MY FUCKING BELOVED. OHMY HOD. I SAID HI TO LAWRENCE BROWNLEE AND I WAS LIKE “THOSE HIGH C’S WERE AMAZING” AND HE WAS LIKE “CAN YOU SING THOSE” AND I WAS LIKE “NO” AND HE WAS LIKE “NOT YET?” NAD I JODDED “NOT YEEET” AND I LAUGHED AND I WISH I GOT A PIC WITJ HIM BUT JE WAS HOLDING THE DOOR

LISETTE CANE OUT AND I LITERALLY THINK I ASCENDED. THERE WERE GIRLS WHO WANTED A POCTURE BEFORE ME AND I WAITED AND MY HRANDMA WAS LIKE FIGHTING TK GET ME THERE AND I WAS LIKR “WAIY!!!!!!!!”

SHE THnked ME FOR BUYING HER ALBUM AND SHE WAS SO SO SO SWEET AND I CAN TELL SHE WAS TRHING TK MAKE SENDE OF MU RAMBLING AGABAHAHAHA

IM LITERALY GOING CRAZY.

I AM SO SORRY FOR the PERSON I AM BECOMING

[davestriderpostscratch]

Please talk more about your ideal epilogue. My ideal epilogue would have everyone sorta ficking around in an interdimentional style tone where they just kind of veiw alt universes and timelines like some entertaining reality show and also sollux is transfem. She's dating jade, aradia, and feferi who are dating terezi and nepeta in a sort of greater portland area transbian polycule situation.

MY ideal epilogue is this

jade leaves earth c to explore the dream bubbles, not content to be stuck in one place for eternity, and becomes sollux and aradia's third. she's always seeing new things and is never lonely

karkat becomes a public speaker and eventually a campaign manager when dave eventually runs for office; karkat himself refuses to have any sort of governmental position higher than city council but establishes himself as "the guy who knows a guy," so to speak. he's probably responsible for half the employments in the city he lives in just out of various referrals and recommendations he's made. he and aradia are intergalactic pen pals

jake and jane are partners in business but not in romance. jane agrees to merge their respective empires into the crockercorp-skaianet conglomeration, which is publically traded and centered on community service--trolls and carapaces are kind of weird about representative government, so the CS corp kind of takes the place of the legislature in terms of like. what people's tax dolars are going towards and stuff. jake is coming out of his shell a bit and makes a good check/balance for when jane gets too zealous, and jane's been good with making sure jake doesn't procrastinate or avoid his actual job. they do good work, surprisingly

rose and calliope take it upon themselves to compile a library of all surviving texts (mythological, scientific, governmental, etc) from the 5,000 year time skip period, which is an incredibly large and therefore perpetually ongoing project. jake helps them on the archaeological front but calliope especially has found her calling in archivism and anthropology and is having the time of her life

roxy and davepeta spend their time experiencing everything earthly life has to offer, soaking in everything roxy, dave and nepeta missed growing up--restaurants, dance classes, college, organized sports. roxy is very active in her community with stuff like municipal art projects and environmental efforts and enjoys the feeling of belonging somewhere. davepeta is less tied down to one place but takes up little temporary jobs wherever they find themself, finding a lot of fulfillment in helping people in small ways, even if they're strangers

john still struggles with depression, especially in the face of jade's absence and jane and jake's success, but eventually takes up a job after jane begs him. it's more for enrichment than anything else, it's not like he needs money, but he respects that jane wants to help and goes along with her promise to "set him up somewhere", which turns out to be as a consulting partner at a law firm with terezi. they get into less petty spats now that they're not thirteen anymore, and the partnership is superficially contentious but solid and functional. he doesn't hate it but he feels a bit stuck in a rut in his current life and is sort of... waiting for the other shoe to drop, so to speak

kanaya is in charge of the brooding caverns. she worries about her and rose's ability to adequately take care of their own children so she kind of compensates by becoming a daycare operator or maybe a teacher, mentoring older jadebloods to take her place some day. as the equivalent of a vampire she's very much immortal and she takes a melancholy sort of pride in watching her students grow up every generation

left to his own devices once more without any immediately obvious Goal In Life dirk's guilt over various things (both deserving and not deserving of said guilt) begins to eat him alive. egged on by jasprose, he tries in vain to return to the past; he becomes obsessed with trying to rebuild the auto-responder, coding chat bot after chat bot, intelligence after intelligence, just for one more conversation, one more apology. he never succeeds and eventually the fixation drives him to reclusive insanity

vriska (sort of a paradox space pirate, looting dream bubbles and chasing lord english) goes ultimate and dave (stockbroker turned senator, avoiding the entertainment industry out of a desire to avoid becoming his alpha self, too scared that he won't live up to the dave that exists in dirk's mind) has his villain arc. they start scheming together and their plans (which are partially really clean and elaborate and partially slapdash and stupid) eventually culminate in the complete social and economical ruin of earth c. following this they fuck off in vriska's spaceship (which is like a sort of treasure planet-esque flying galleon) to some random corner of the galaxy to have weird creepy sex until the heat death of the universe

terezi and karkat enter a failmarriage in order to stave off the creeping sense of abandonment and not being good enough for their respective partners but being together actually just makes it worse. they have sex with the lights off

john, who was expecting not this, exactly, but SOMETHING to come and break the peace, feels responsibility for dave, his errant best friend, for vriska, his one-sided lost love, and even a little bit for terezi, the work partner he's come to appreciate more than most people, and the utter upheaval of the world becomes the catalyst he needs to snap him out of his funk, at least for the time being

jake and jane scramble to use their influence to stabilize the infrastructure of the planet; karkat warns aradia, sollux and jade to keep an eye out across paradox space; roxy tracks down dirk, attempting to restore him to optimal functionality; kanaya, rose and calliope try to keep everyone in their vicinity alive and well; davepeta puts john in touch with meenah, and he and terezi take off for the dream bubbles on the tail of vriska and dave

and the rest. dear reader. well that is up to you

[cosmicyellow]

I CANMOT BELIEVE NOY A SINHLE CHARATCER ON BG3 WPILD FUCK ME E X C E P T THE FICKING MINDFLAYER WHAT THE FUVK