#cainschatter

[cainware]

I've reached a point where I just physically sigh when a new batman media/property has the Joker in it. Like yall know there's other villains right? Other, better villains? Leave the rotting turnip of a clown out of the picture for a while, it's getting exhausting.

[cainware]

Tim, scratching at his arm: there's a fucking mosquito in here and I can't catch him

Dick: oh shit hold on. Jasooooon?

Jason, not looking up from his book but holding out his hand: give it.

Dick, grinning and handing him a slipper:

Jason, flicking his slipper and crushing the mosquito against the wall beside Tim: handled.

Tim, bewildered: did you just snipe a mosquito with a house shoe???

Dick, wheezing as he snatches the remote from Tim: there we go, all the finesse of a Hispanic mom. Thanks, Jay.

Jason, invested in the fifteenth chapter of his book: mhm.

[cainware]

Bruce: and why did I get a call from Commissioner Gordon about you beating a man within an inch of his life in a target parking lot?

Jason, washing blood off his bruised knuckles as Dick tries his best to look disapproving (and fails): fucker called bigbird a slur. I told him he'd be slurring his words when he's got no fucking teeth left if he did it again.

Dick, snickering quietly: Truth be told, Jason's fought people for less, Bruce. And I mean. He did warn him.

Bruce, nodding slowly and turning to leave as if he'd seen nothing: not that its an acceptable excuse, but good job, Jason.

[cainware]

I'm losing it over the idea of Tim and Jason forming the tightest sibling bond out of all the batkids but it's a toss up whether they're at each other's throats, civil, or just making nothing but minecraft villager sounds at each other just because it pisses Bruce off because he KNOWS they're making fun of him going "hm" at everything

[cainware]

I feel like Jason expresses his love for the family in some of the most subtle ways, things that could easily slip your mind if you weren't paying attention.

Alfred cooks dinner, and he finds Jason has already started on collecting empty dishes before he can take a single step out of the kitchen.

Damian comes inside from checking on batcow to find his colored pencils sharpened to a fine, razor-perfect point so he can go right back to what he was doing.

Bruce can't find his favorite mug, but when he comes down to the batcave, it's full of hot coffee and sitting on a coaster in its usual spot, except Alfred is still upstairs and has long given up trying to make him use a coaster.

Stephanie finds her phone on the charger beside her favorite spot on the couch because it died while she was talking to Cass.

Cass, for that matter, can't find her old headphones. However, she does find a new pair of noise-canceling ones in their spot. She doesn't remember buying these. She likes them.

Duke finds the book he was reading before having to rush out on morning patrol on the table, his place marked with a sticky note. Duke already knows who left it, but the sentiment is nice, so he doesn't say a word.

Tim wakes up on more than one occasion after falling asleep in the batcave post-patrol and finds a blanket around his shoulders. Not tucked too tight, less it trigger his claustrophobia, but just enough that it won't fall off. He doesn't know who keeps doing this. He thought it was Bruce at first, but even Bruce isn't that sneaky to get that close without Tim waking up. Not since Tim became extra flighty, at least.

Dick knows exactly why he gets random food delivered to his house sometimes. He knows Jason worries, and as much as Dick hates that he took after Bruce in that regard, he's glad Jason guilts him into remembering to eat from time to time. Dick, like Duke, doesn't say a word. If there's one thing he knows, its that there are some things you just don't talk about, for fear of upsetting the natural balance.

I don't know man, I just like the idea that one of Jason's characteristics is rarely directly showing he cares for his family, but all the work he does behind the scenes for them does all the showing instead.

[cainware]

Tim "I'm soooo sneaky there's no way he'd ever know I was Robin" Drake vs Bernard "this bitch thinks I'm stupid" Dowd

[cainware]

I keep seeing things about Jason freaking out about dog-eared pages but hear me out:

Jason, who when he finds a book with dog-eared pages and broken spines and messy scribbles in the margins or highlighted segments, his face breaks into the most genuine smile. Because he looks at this book and can see how much it was loved, how important it is or was to its owner, how often it was read, etc. Because even messy, imperfect, and broken things deserve love. He would know; he and those books have a lot in common, after all.

[cainware]

Clark, zipping past the kids:

Damian and Jon: ...?

Bruce, clearly pissed, running after him: YOU CORNBREAD FED MOTHERFUCKER COME HERE-

Jon: what was that about?

Damian, going back to his DS so he can play with his pokemon: If I'm right, it's Clark's turn to make an appearance at a gala with father.

Jon, nodding sagely: he does hate those.

[cainware]

Do yall think Tim ever sits awake at night hearing his phone pinging and he just patiently waits for a lapse because Bernard keeps hitting his character limit per text explaining his latest theory and when Tim finally responds with valid counter points and suggestions, Bernard just sends like a wall of heart emojis?

[cainware]

I think bruce should get really frustrated one day and he's just trembling with irritation and clark kisses the top of his head between his lil bat ears on the cowl and bruce immediately chills out I just think that'd be neat

[cainware]

*while playing UNO*

Dick, placing another +4: I'm so sorry.

Steph, stacking another on top: get shit on, Jay

Tim, wheezing: oh my god, Jason has 37 cards

Jason, slowly drawing another 8 cards to add to the pile in his hands: and they're all Steph's fucking fault!!

Duke, watching from across the table as Jason lays his head down: I feel like this is personal at this point.

[cainware]

Man I know the writing in this time was hit or miss, but this is still my favorite Tim look

[cainware]

Timberkon is so funny to me because why the fuck is Kon the reasonable one in a relationship

[cainware]

Jason Todd but he has one of those fuckin guns that shoots glorified orbeeze gel pellets for use on his siblings (specifically Dick)

[cainware]

Nah because like? I love Arkham Knight Jason. I love him. I love his anger, his snark, his intelligence not being compromised, his skill not being diminished! I loved seeing it, I loved watching him overpower and outsmart Bruce, loved seeing him put actual pressure on the bat, and the fact that it actually stressed Bruce out a lot more than scarecrow did in that series? With the literal whole of Gotham on the line?? Immaculate.

I can't express accurately just how much that scratches a very specific itch in my brain.

(Also his look Deliberately Mocking Batman?? Beautiful. Absolutely glorious.)

[cainware]

I'm in A Mood today so I'm thinking about Bruce slinking into bed with Clark and just deflating. He drops his head on Clark's chest and just shrinks, as if all the fight has left his body and Clark wraps him up in his arms, soothing his distressed partner by rubbing his back and gently scratching his nails across his skin because he knows that tiny stimulus helps ground Bruce again.

Bruce, who can't even grunt in reply to Clark's questions, manages to nod or shake his head so slightly that anyone but Clark would miss it. And Clark understands. Bruce is burnt out, he's overwhelmed, he's exhausted and stressed. So Clark is happy to provide that momentary relief, the tiniest spot of shade for the Dark Knight under an onslaught of sunlight.

He's just happy Bruce truly does trust him enough to do so.