#caligo incorrect quotes 2

[ignify-caligo]

Soap: So what’s for dinner?

Ghost: I can’t tell you, it’s a soup-prise!

Soap: …

Soap: Is it soup?

Ghost: I soup-pose it could be! *winks*

Soap: Please, enough with the soup puns, Lt!

Ghost: Wow, you’re soup-per mean, Johnny.

Soap: STOP!

*one hour later*

Soap: It’s fucking fish and chips?!?!?!

[ignify-caligo]

Soap & Roach: *accidentally set the kitchen on fire*

Soap: We need an adult!

Roach: Soap, you are an adult!

Soap: We need an adultier adult! Get Ghost!

[ignify-caligo]

Roach: *accidentally eats something too spicy so his eyes start to water*

Soap: Roachie, look at me. It’s okay. I would die for you. I love you so much. You’re the best person I know.

Roach: I’m not crying?

Soap, hugging Roach’s head: Shush, baby bug, it's okay. I and Ghost are here, and we love you with our whole hearts.

[ignify-caligo]

Price: *sees Ghost and Soap together*

Price: They’re cute. I would put them on a boat.

Gaz: You mean… you ship them?

[ignify-caligo]

Soap: *running towards Ghost with open arms*

Ghost: *moves out of the way*

Soap: Hey, why’d you move?

Ghost, shrugging: I thought you were going to attack me.

Soap: I was going to hug you!

Ghost: Why would you hug me?

Soap: WHY WOULD I ATTACK YOU???

[ignify-caligo]

Ghost: I made tea.

Soap: I don’t want tea.

Ghost: I didn’t make you tea. This is my tea.

Soap: Then why did you tell me?

Ghost: It’s a conversation starter.

Soap: It’s a horrible conversation starter.

Ghost: Oh, is it? We’re conversing. Checkmate.

[ignify-caligo]

Chris: Hey, do you know the password to Albert’s computer?

Leon: Fuck you, Chris.

Chris: Hey!!

Leon: No, you misunderstood, the password is “fuckyouChris”.

Chris: Oh, no numbers? Not very safe.

[ignify-caligo]

Rodolfo: Ale… you’ve been cuddling with me for over an hour now.

Alejandro: *muffled* mm hmmm :)

Rodolfo, smiling too: Mierda. I should be annoyed but you’re adorable.

[ignify-caligo]

[The group chat]

Soap: Oi, could I ask how exactly does one accidentally set a lemon on fire??

König: Microwave for 40 minutes. :(

Ghost: Why were you microwaving a lemon???

König: I read boiling lemons help cover up bad smells (I wanted to cover up the scent of burnt oranges) but I couldn’t find any pots.

Roach: Did you burn an orange too? How???

König: Microwave for 40 minutes. :(

[ignify-caligo]

[Task Force 141 group chat]

Soap: A pegan just flew into my window.

Gaz: Pegan?

Price: A what?

Ghost: Ah yes, my favourite bird, Pegan.

Roach: I thought you said penguin for a second, LMAO!

Ghost: Just a normal day with flying penguins crashing into my window.

Roach: You have pigeons flying into your window? Can’t relate, I have penguins flying into my window.

Soap: I literally just made a typo you eejits.

[ignify-caligo]

[Training session @ 141 HQ]

König, watching Soap and Roach fight: Are you sure they should be fighting, lieutenant? What if they get hurt?

Ghost, not bothered by the chaos: It’s fine. They’re too evenly matched to hurt each other.

König: Then… who’s the strongest out of you three?

Soap: Ghost.

Roach: Ghost.

Ghost: Me.

[ignify-caligo]

Price: I have the sharpest memory here - name one time I forgot something!

Ghost: You left me, Soap, Gaz and Roach in a Tesco parking lot at 2am a day ago.

Price: I did that on purpose, try again.

[ignify-caligo]

*Multilingual screams coming from the lounge room*

Soap, coffee mug in hand: What’s going on there?

Price, not looking up from his newsletter: World Cup. Mexico versus Poland.

Alejandro: ¡Vamos, marcar un gol, malditos idiotas!

Gromsko: PANU BOGU W OKNO PRÓBUJESZ STRZELIĆ CZY JAK?!?!

Ghost: Why aren’t you in there with them, Rodolfo?

Rodolfo: I don’t want to die too early.

[ignify-caligo]

Roach: We can bake these cookies at 400 degrees for 10 minutes or 4,000 degrees for 1 minute.

König: No, that’s not how you make cookies!

Soap: FLOOR IT!!

Roach: How about 4,000,000 degrees for 1 second?!?

König: yOU’RE GONNA BURN THE BASE DOWN-

Roach: I’M GONNA HARNESS THE POWER OF THE FUCKING SUN TO MAKE COOKIES!

Soap, laughing: DO IT!

König, crying: NEIN BITTE-

[ignify-caligo]

*Alejandro is casually searching around the room*

Soap: Hey hermano, what’re you looking for?

Alejandro: My will to live.

*Rodolfo walks into the room*

Alejandro, smiling: Oh, there it is!

[ignify-caligo]

Ghost, yelling @ Soap: Get in, loser, we’re committing vehicular manslaughter!