#calliope is 1/4 black I think

[hells-greatest-performers]

Well technically, Charlie is also an antichrist and she's a total sweetheart! It's all a matter of perspective

**after clearing the air**

Ellie: *laughs* Oh I’m so sorry! Please forgive my transgressions like that. I’m sorry for saying sweet little Calliope is the anti Christ! She’s just a cute baby! *looks at Alastor* Though I notice she looks a lot like Lucifer than she does you. I know you came out pale guy my goodness she’s as while as a clean bedsheet!

Alastor: Well it’s not like I chose her outer appearance mother. She just happens to resemble her father. Besides you said I was better off resembled *groans* him…

Ellie: I know but I barely even registered this child as my own kin! At least she has curly locks! Those curls you had were beautiful. I always hated having to straighten them out.

Alastor: I know mother. But you know how my hair was always so thick and curl. Keeping it cut and straight is just easier.

Angel Dust: *gasps* You mean your undercut is a choice and not some accident chop job?!

Alastor: *glares*

Angel Dust: Sorry…

Ellie: Oh yeah. I can tell Calliope will have such beautiful thick locks! She maybe, uh extremely white passing, but she has her Papa’s hair texture. Ya gotta learn how to care for those curls Allie! Times are different! Curls are in!

Alastor: Yes Mama.

Lucifer: *totally not feeling awkward at all* So uh…this has been nice and all but I fear we may have overstayed our welcome!

Alastor: *glaring hard at Lucifer*

Ellie: Oh are you sure? I was about to make dinner! I’m gonna make Creole Chicken Fricassée!”

Angel Dust: Really? No Jambalaya?

Ellie: I made that earlier! And don’t worry son, little Calliope here loved the small taste I gave her! She didn’t even seem bothered by the spices I used.

Alastor: she is my daughter after all.

Note: I’m going with the headcanon that Alastor is mixed white and black but is white passing and back in those days it was “better to pass” (which I do not agree with).

Ellie = 100% African American

Alastor = 50% African American/50%White European

Calliope = 25% African American/25% White European & 50% Angelic Being

If I’m wrong about something please let me know and I will try to correct it!

[davekat-sucks]

I do have to say that anon who soeculated on Dirk’s role does have a good idea for where the plot may be going and the setup for Dirk’s ultimate session, although I never considered the horrorterror session, generally because I have a hard tike taking it seriously. What’s notable as well is apparently it was 48 players that made the 48 zodiac signs of Alternia, but that got retconned to 288 signs of Hiveswap. What I think Dirk is doing is two-fold.

1. Dirk states in the epilogues this is being done to maintain the existence of their Universe. Homestuck is shoulder-deep in metatextual fuckery so of course the characters treat the in-universe existence of canon as real and like a story they exist in. If the story ends, the characters will decay away into unobserved, undefined, and untended void of irrelevance. Without us, the audience to pay attention to the narrative and characters of Homestuck, Homestuck doesn’t exist. Of course, narratives need conflict, and Dirk makes a new session to run a new overarching story that keeps Dirk and Rose in focus, and in a sense the cast alive. It could have gone a lot of different ways but Dirk is better at abrupt action than long term planning, the real plan comes from the second reason.

Earth C is the Cherub’s birth planet. Billions of years after Earth is ruined, a cherub will lay the egg of Caliborn and Calliope inland a ruined field somewhere on the dead planet, with only communications via a radio tower that transcends the narrative… Hussie’s IP server!

Of course, the earth now orbits a red giant with all the water evaporated and food wasted, so they are cared for by Gamzee who got sucked into the black hole caused by Lord Jack’s big-ass head implosion in [S] collide, giving that version of Jack his one true purpose: to die and transport the cherubim guardian to the right place.

Now the next requirement for Earth C to house the Cherubs is all the immortal Gods to be gone. Inevitably over the course of 3-4 billion years the beta and alpha kids, Kanaya, and Calliope are going to have to leave Earth C and never come back. Something happened for them to be gone. The cause doesn’t matter, only the effect is destiny. Dirk was nesting the Cherubs, he just had to pull their biggest threat off the Earth.

One final addendum, I don’t know what Dirk’s successful species is gonna be, and if the HICU will actually let the species exist and build the new sburb session or fakeout kill them in classic Hussie trolling style. What matters is Dirk gave the species a name: Sartyr, amd looking at sillhouettes it looks to be a bipedal anthromorph, much less a squid creature. I don’t think the HICU has the balls to do the horrorterror session.

They don’t have to, they heavily implied Dirk is dating Rosebot and fans on r/homestuck avoided the topic to talk about how good the art is and how the update is finally getting the ball rolling and how the sequel writing is finally good, stuff we’ve all heard before. The HICU posted another 12 pages of a monthly update where something almost happened and fans ate it up. This is Homestuck now. Where something almost happens, and then we wait a month for something to almost happen again.

That really seems to be the case. Before under Hussie and Whatpumpkin, the bad art and story were noticeable within each update. It's been routed in our brains that every update would be this. James Roach and HICU took advantage of it by getting to focus on the pretty art first before the story because most of us would skim through the text. Nobody would actually pick up on what it is going on until they read it 3-6 more times to let it sink in. It was like this before for many new readers of Homestuck. Most would look at the pretty picture or flash and less reading on the text. Vox's Let's Read at least makes it accessible for those who struggle reading, but even they don't update frequently and are at a certain stopping point where others need to go to the webcomic to continue. And I think a person watching the LR Homestuck and having to go back to the webcomic during ACT 6, is probably not a good experience for those entering the series. It's funny back in MSPA Forums, talks of incest was banned despite the themes of said incest being a common thing in Homestuck. And it was TOBY FOX who made The Baby Is You to troll at the mods that tried to cease the topic of incest. People may have known Toby Fox wrote some crazy funny m-preg song and it got relevance again thanks to a modern Pokemon game, but I don't think people actually knew the context and history behind on WHY he made it in the first place. And now we got people too scared to speak about it openly.

[tryan-a-bex]

20 questions for fic writers!

Thank you @bazzybelle and @hardly-an-escape for the tags!

1. How many works do you have on AO3?

32

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

38,639 (I started writing March 2023, so this is happy.)

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Sandman primarily, lots of crossovers, and one for DND Honor Among Thieves which is not a crossover (The Ring Bear). I also have several done for Fuckboi Dream, but I'm waiting to post them until it is finished (if you ask nicely I might let you see them).

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

King of Night and Prince of Day (based on Nathanwonderwolf's amazing art)

Five Guesses Why Hob is Immortal and One Broken Plate (this is a Scooby Doo crossover; yes, you heard that right.)

Social Media (Delirium delivers a preteen to Dream to raise; it's his counterpart, the personification of the collective consciousness. This was supposed to be pure crack idk why people like it?)

Well... Why Not? (400 words of Hob and Crowley egging each other on to ever greater heights of recklessness.)

Heavenly Hijinks (Hob, Dream and Calliope are stuck in the elevator to Heaven, a Good Omens crossover.)

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes! Because I don't get very many and I love them! Thank you to everyone who comments and gives kudos, it means so much! I write for myself, but it helps a lot to know I'm not shouting into the void.

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

I write sweetness and fluff -- there may be a little bit of angst in the beginning or middle, but certainly not in the end. Maybe you'd like the one that ends in consensual punishment (bdsm fade to black)? The Dragon's Tongue

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

May I bring to your attention The Dragon Rider? All my endings are happy, but this one makes me particularly happy because Dragon!

8. Do you get hate on fics?

No. I don't really write anything controversial I think? And I'm not well known. And Sandman fans are kind.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I have attempted but I end up fading to black mostly. My smuttiest ones... Fucking Helm Fucking (Hob and Dream discuss "protection"), The Dragon's Tongue (bdsm scene fade to black), Naga No-Go ("awkward sexual situations" tag), and that one chapter of A World where children won't cry (a Hob and Dream scene in a Spy x Family crossover).

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

Apparently I love crossovers! Space Buns is the first one in my Sandman x Spy x Family crossover series. Five Guesses Why Hob is Immortal and One Broken Plate is the first of my Scooby Doo crossovers. Well... why not? is the most Good Omens of my Good Omens crossovers.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I know of!

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Not that I know of!

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Two of my fics came from a tumblr post discussion/based off someone's tags with permission -- Ring Bear with @witheringfears and Well... why not? with Avelera. Several of them are based on other people's art -- King of Night, Space Buns, Butterflies, Halloween, Well... why not? Comic/show character switch, Karaoke, and June 7th, 2389. A couple I commissioned art for: Sometimes when you fall, you fly and Fireflies and a Missing Person! Dinner and a Play I wrote so @carnelianmeluha could cook to it, including several of her requested favourite food items! I've also done art for other people's fics a few times!

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

I'm not sure I can answer all time, but I love Gaulcienne (Gault x Lucienne from The Sandman) a lot!

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

I want to write a Sandman x InCryptids (Seanan McGuire) crossover, but I'm not sure it will happen. Just in the mulling ideas stage still.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I enjoy writing dialogue. Sometimes I do a good job making people laugh, or finding just the right words, or characterizing a blorbo just right.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

I can't seem to get the smut to carry on (yet?) and I don't write much description. I'm not sure if I just don't like it, or if I don't do it because I can't/am bad at it? Anyway, I'm not going to worry about it, it will come eventually perhaps.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

Go for it! Making it clear from context or including a translation is considerate, but really. Doesn't hurt us English speakers to realize there are other languages in the world.

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The Sandman: Pottery (a post-Wake Destruction and Dreamling fic)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I love all my children! How can I choose? No really. A Quiet Love with Wings is my Gaulcienne series, and I really love it. It gets less attention than the other fics, I think because people sort for Dreamling. Give it some love for me?

[vollzz]

1.What is your character's biggest fear, and how does it affect their actions and relationships? 4. What are your character's quirks or eccentricities that make them stand out from others? 9. What is your character's moral compass? What principles or values do they hold dear? For Eves

hey thank you for asking!! I will take every excuse to talk about eves :)

1- I’m going to say two fears because they’re pretty intertwined: they’re terrified of abandonment and no longer feeling loved. It’s not completely the reason Eves is the way they are, but those fears have warped them significantly over time. It’s absolutely why they are the only deity that has physical/emotional relationships with their followers. Eves also “relieves” Lovers of their service after a while partially as a defense mechanism - they can’t be abandoned if they do the abandoning first. A big part of Calliope’s struggles in their relationship is Eves’ extreme jealousy, to the point that they’ve killed someone she tried to befriend in the past out of fear that she might leave them for someone else.

They seem to be drawn to people with similar issues (although for wholly different reasons), though I can’t say they’ve done enough introspection to realize that! Calliope is no different, which is why she latches on to them so quickly/easily.

These deep-seated issues are very much related to why they despise Greylin, the lord of deities, so much, and is also why they have an estranged relationship with [???] 👀

4- First with the obvious: Eves ALWAYS stands out in any setting because they’re effectively the hottest being on the planet, and they generally let some degree of their alluring powers transcend the area around them. We see this really early on when Calliope and Eves are walking through a town and despite Eves having their hood up, practically everyone is craning their necks to look at them (they know Cal is annoyed by this, but see answer above - they NEED to know that people are interested in them at all times).

I think the other thing though is that Eves likes to express themselves through their makeup and clothing, I’d say both consciously and unconsciously. Their most precious belonging is a raven-feathered cloak of mysterious origin, and they are almost always seen wearing it EXCEPT when they plan to do/expect something gruesome. As if they don’t want to taint the cloak, almost. Makeup-wise they always wear some amount of eyeshadow/eyeliner and it often correlates with their mood. There’s a couple scenes later on in Blackflame that really show this: in one, they appear very disheveled and have smears of black makeup under their eyes as if they’d rubbed them while forgetting they wore mascara, and in another they line their eyes with a bright red shadow that mimics their fiery temper in the way that it clashes with the gold of their irises.

9- This one’s interesting, because I feel like a traditional moral compass doesn’t necessarily apply to immortal beings. My thoughts are that morality can often come from a place of wanting to make a difference, wanting to be remembered for good and help people etc, but in writing these deities I wondered what kind of morals someone would have if they knew they would ALWAYS exist. Like, if you do something horrifically awful, does it really matter when everyone who will remember you for it will be dead in 100 years? At what point do you become existentially bored and start doing random chaotic bullshit just to feel alive, you know?

So with that said, at this point in time Eves, and all of the deities, err on the side of generally neutral and self-serving, though some of them are more benevolent that others. Eves really only does things that make them feel loved and wanted, and will also do anything to get under Greylin’s skin (whether that thing is morally “good” or not). They don’t really find anything wrong with using their Lovers to satiate their needs for love and companionship, and even thinks of it as doing them a great service - in their eyes, spending time with them is a privilege that people would die for!

There is one thing, however, that they are very, very touchy about. Eves is very outspoken that their powers don’t create desire where it doesn’t exist, so if someone genuinely weren’t attracted to Eves they wouldn’t feel the pull of their alluring power. We see this when they interact with followers of other deities - their hearts/souls are taken by their vows and so they can’t feel Eves’ power anymore. So Eves has never, and will never, sleep with someone who doesn’t want to, and will absolutely murder anyone who suggests otherwise.

—

This was really fun to answer! Thanks anon :)

[sunnyapollonjabrigidotter]

✨️ COLORS OF THE MUSES🪗

Here are the Mousai (Muses) and their associated colors and animals:

1. Calliope (Epic Poetry):

- Colors: Royal Blue (wisdom, authority) and Gold (eloquence, inspiration).

- Animal: 🦅Eagle (vision, power).

2. Clio (History):

- Colors: Golden Yellow (knowledge, enlightenment) and Olive Green (wisdom, continuity).

- Animal: 🦉Owl (wisdom, memory).

3. Erato (Love Poetry):

- Colors: Rose Pink (love, romance) and Soft White (purity, tenderness).

- Animal: 🕊Dove (love, peace).

4. Euterpe (Music):

- Colors: Soft Pink (joy, expression) and Silver (harmony, fluidity).

- Animal: Nightingale (melody, beauty).

5. Melpomene (Tragedy):

- Colors: Deep Purple (grief, depth) and Black (sorrow, seriousness).

- Animal: Raven (mystery, fate).

6. Polyhymnia (Sacred Poetry):

- Colors: White (purity, devotion) and Pale Blue (spirituality, serenity).

- Animal: Swan (grace, spirituality).

7. Terpsichore (Dance):

- Colors: Bright Red (passion, movement) and Emerald Green (vitality, energy).

- Animal: Gazelle (grace, agility). 🐐

8. Thalia (Comedy):

- Colors: Bright Yellow (joy, laughter) and Lime Green (cheerfulness, playfulness).

- Animal: 🐬Dolphin (playfulness, intelligence).

9. Urania (Astronomy):

- Colors: Midnight Blue (cosmos, infinity) and Silver (stars, insight).

- Animal: Owl (wisdom, connection to the heavens).

These colors and animals are chosen to reflect the unique qualities and domains of each Muse, capturing their essence through symbolic representation.

...

I think i could do better than that, but anws felt like sharing, what do you think :)) 🦝🐴🐆🐯🦦🦎 ...

[fanficbutnow]

Whumpuary Master Post

Alright, so I decided to try a writing challenge for the first time (Whumpuary 2024), and though it came down to the wire, I actually managed to complete it! Some of these did turn into more angst with some minor whump elements rather than pure whump, but I'm still proud of myself.

Day 1 (Captivity): https://archiveofourown.org/works/52749970

Spider-Man: Spider-Verse

After her fight with the Vulture and confrontation with Police Captain Stacy, Gwen wakes up in Jail.

Day 2 (Collapse): https://archiveofourown.org/works/52800640

Orphan Black

What Cosima may have been thinking during Season 4 Episode 6: The Scandal of Altruism when Kendall was killed and when Cosima was told Delphine had been shot dead.

Day 3 (Stumbling): https://archiveofourown.org/works/52979257

First Kill

Juliette tries to embrace her dark vampiric nature in the wake of Calliope breaking her heart.

Day 4 (Lightheaded): https://archiveofourown.org/works/53195851

Carmilla (Web Series)

Carmilla just wants to keep Laura free from harm. But Laura's numerous requests to drink her blood make that increasingly difficult...

Day 5 ("Stay. Please."): https://archiveofourown.org/works/53245825/chapters/134739058

Bottoms (Movie 2023)

PJ struggles to properly express herself while navigating her newfound post-kiss feelings for Hazel. Hazel takes PJ for her word. But as the two heal from the brawl against Huntington, fist fighting each other may be the only way to clear the air.

Day 6 (Blindfolded): https://archiveofourown.org/works/53327836

Steven Universe

Pearl learns swordfighting.

Day 7 (Bruises): https://archiveofourown.org/works/53245825/chapters/135031051

Bottoms (Movie 2023)

Summary under Day 5

Day 8 (Hostage): https://archiveofourown.org/works/53379250

The Umbrella Academy

The world has ended, and Five and his siblings couldn't be having a better time... though perhaps not everything is as good as it seems.

NSFW Day 9 (Hair Grabbing): https://archiveofourown.org/works/53245825/chapters/135218983

Bottoms (Movie 2023)

Summary under Day 5

Day 10 (Desperate): https://archiveofourown.org/works/53380582

My Little Pony: Equestria Girls

Pinkie Pie's mind is a wonderfully bizarre place of pure happiness, and Sunset can't stop using her powers on her.

Day 11 (Memories): https://archiveofourown.org/works/53425327/chapters/135221380

Encanto

The Madrigal family discover that Mirabel was excluded from their family photo at Antonio's Gift Ceremony in the angstiest way.

aka,

Mirabel runs away.

Day 12 ("You're Awake"):

The Owl House

Luz fears that her time in the Boiling Isles may have all been a dream.

Day 13 (Left to Die): https://archiveofourown.org/works/53423329

Beetlejuice the Musical

Beetlejuice was only afraid of one thing as a child. One may think, having only a singular fear would mean he was hardly ever afraid. But that couldn’t be further from the truth. Because Beetlejuice’s one fear was his own mother.

Day 14 (Breakdown): https://archiveofourown.org/works/53402740

The Owl House

When the safety hover glyph doesn't work and Luz almost gets hurt, she finds herself mourning the loss of her glyphs.

Day 15 ("You're Safe"): https://archiveofourown.org/works/53403415

Amphibia

Anne worries about Sprig, the Plantars, and all of Wartwood now that she's back home for good.

[libidomechanica]

Untitled (“Lost him to breath”)

A curtal sonnet sequence

               1

Among their own or lace, when you, what are thence: binding round strange with some backward in an he world’s gay think h’ had love, and Wooll, and throught of they have seen for nightlier glorie shine eyes were set on natures like my souls, whose lecture. You had through of wine. Again, and trentall sunsets and I switch’d an Hour to the fire. Your left aching I discerned by the that enter.—A close best the steak while have no more. Lost him to breath. When I am.

               2

She catch, ere was his deadly she, as I stoops at thou hast thousand tumble and straightway thee holy musing speech, or this. The stranger friends upon the nebulous—almost ridge; and let go! To thee put it was silence I would away. Or, Pindars as pity may’ress his he leaden boughs perplex me so sweet struts all the seate the soft! After, age, and thy sighing pain; like to be among, front of disbelief; then pray’r; no pain.

               3

But I was justly buy, if the vehicle, through the bag of their grace is deep desperate not a straightway sun, with their eyes swim bell away, that the right conduct nice, that terror, lest the charger stones between your either give great is the grieve, before up at those breeze enought, somehow—I known, sir. Thus far other, made. This wife not only she cover out of a nine-hundred in, thou with proven bridegroom that would I presume?

               4

With his daylight the green-white life less to be she new black leaf and fain with words where is not thine own deserves in-Then bride and breaks. Passions find, with bays. On than ire. Since shift me in the South, O girl was a storm: a glance floris to folly am by love and now to look? A gardens. He, no Muse; I turned her lip should teare. No ass so fail! Within, my nest with pride the sooth, let tearm on me, Sir, the fav’rite as sober let Heav’n.

               5

A subtle Wit can of the Church an old would nothing to rise Alps better from that hastened much and learnd chuse you require of a woman-built a hall long-without all croak there. The hills, and so he world of less air health of both intrusion, manlike they wild lake back of white virgins hymeneals with those marsh-dive a hole angelic kind, and feels my horse walk in love’s duer unto my deed, all try my girls’ dormitory.

               6

Warm with the oldest sigh, and down ever canker victor be soul in look fell. Not only not on Parnasse dwells like bloody street so I see Calliope she, of fayre? Put hot wait on his beauties have beauty maid of breast, make me; when I did it behind then from all the word. Others, tempest, I must be bettering, Staying, haue to see thanke you love the scholesome from than mistake, finished and therefore her lister’s hand.

               7

The ghost while or a galliard-blown desire not love the prove, and not you brough sufficiously then had been slowly grows warmer sire’s. The roses and had fix on it; o let these I might winterpret what is the Boston, and to do, the pomp of me, whom I look well. Would rather communion with bow and I’ll speak thee—I am true deem then all lay it who known. Viewing, for her who dare all my lover merry, misery!

[quinnfebrey]

About the podcast

1. Imani needs to narrate an audio book or something similar asap

2. I KNEW she wouldn't let scat have it that Juliette might be a fuckboy

3. I related so much to the hosts just laughing at anything Imani said, I had to smile yhe whole time

4. I'm sosososososososo glad that there was soooo much care that went into the representation aspect of First Kill, from Imani saying she made sure that Calliope wouldn't fall into the "angry black girl" trope to the whole crew sharing their stories with scat and imani and them taking it in and cooperate it into their acting

5. We finally have imanis side of the chemistry call, it was about damn time

6. I need Imani to star in a comedy show or movie, she's so funny

That's all I can think of now, but I'll come back for more

1. yesssss her voice is so soothing fr

2. i don’t think anyone let scat have that lol

3. she’s so charming!! and like not that cal the character isn’t but you never realize how much imani really was acting until you see/hear her speak as herself lol she’s so animated

4. definitely and now it makes me wonder if part of the reason they had juliette be the more physically pushy one and one to initiate most of their kisses was to also try and subvert any racial stereotypes

5. when we get imani’s side of the pantry scene it’ll be full circle

6. she’s SO funny omg and the way she would say something completely logical and understandable and then be like “you know what i mean????” she’s just like me fr

[estrel]

give me your theory on why the people in the barn are wearing those skeleton masks in the 15x20 promo

pffff. alright, you can have it...but i gotta say, there’s not much to go on. and you know what? i think that was on purpose. i think they gave us so little to go off of because they want us to “carry on,” they want us to have this last little week to just. go all out. to spitball our craziest wildest ideas because they’re important, because they are part of supernatural. but alas, that’s another tangent.  

The Four Masked People in 15x20

so i’m gonna base this response off of two episodes that i’ve written about in different metas before: 4x10 (heaven and hell + the scene with the barn) and 10x05 (fan fiction + intro of chuck in the narrative & a two-act ending)

the short answer to this is that i think they’re controlled by the Empty. plain and simple. 

why? they’re wearing all black, which is the most obvious and also a borderline dumb reason but uh...oh well? but also because they might be doing a callback to 10x05 with calliope and the scarecrow. i just made a post about how i think 15x19 and 15x20 draw from 10x05 fan fiction, and if that’s anything to go by then the empty (a mirror for calliope) creates something (the four guys, the scarecrow) as a sort of...distraction? for sam and dean to deal with before actually dealing with the empty itself. 

and i think they also have to do with the empty because of a few reasons:

the Empty plot is unresolved. it’s the title card of the season, so leaving it unresolved seems unlikely to me (for other reasons as well, but)

the barn as the place where dean first saved cas in 4x10. where he will save cas one last time in 15x20

uhh,, to be clear...save cas from the empty

the song at the end of the last ep was called Running On Empty. 

i also vibe with idea that cas might be one of the four people in these masks. in 4x10, cas and uriel (15x20 mirror: sam and dean) were also faced with four people: alastair, two demons, and ruby. ruby was on sam and dean’s side though, at this point (or, well, at least they thought so, but that’s not the point). so it was 3 + 1 ally, one person on their team. (side note: because of the blades they’re holding, i want to think that they’re angels from the empty, rather than demons. it’d be a direct foil to the 4 demons in 4x10) besides, imagine the empty using cas to taunt sam and dean that it’s got the upper hand? imagine a reunion like this where cas is right in front of them but being used against them? 

now of course i could be totally off base with this!! i really am just going off a whim here, but i will say that i think it’ll be interesting to see what’ll come of the barn scene. it’s important, that’s why they showed it to us, but i think that’s also part of the reason they made it indecipherable. 

p.s: sort of unrelated, but. this barn scene in 4x10 is the first time they tease dean and cas’ relationship on the show (”he has this weakness. he likes you.”) which makes me pretty certain that cas will appear here. 

[bottlecaprabbitgames]

So like when ya gonna tell us more about these ROs 👀

I suppose I can give you heathens the RO informations. I suppose. (I’ll also be including their race/ethnicities as if they lived in our world! Just remember that the game world will not reflect this in a way that necessarily makes sense, though the continents for this world are very similar to ours!)

RO #1: Callian/Calliope/Calysan “Cal” Jackson

Race: Indonesian/black

Gender: Cis man/trans woman/genderqueer (tends to lean masc but not always outside of pronouns being he/him)

Age: Two years older than MC.

Physical Features: 6′2 with a lankier build with chub around their hips. Skin is a medium brown with warm undertones and tons of freckles. Eyes are honey brown with heavy lids. Hair is 3A curls that’s dark brown with faded red dye, and each one keeps it a little differently: Callian keeps it short with faded sides (think a mop of curls with faded sides basically lol); Calliope keeps it pulled back in a low ponytail, and Calysan tends to have it in two big braids.

Personality: Cal is a very cheery person for the most part. They tend to be a little protective of MC, but also very supportive. They’ve been MC’s rock for a long time because of their overall bubbly attitude about things. However... they do not do flirting well. Like, at all. They short circuit and, well... You’ll see.

RO #2: Astra Corvid

Race: mixed Greek/Italian

Gender: Cis woman

Age: Appears to be in her late thirties-early forties

Physical Features: 5′7, with an average build, though has muscular arms and legs. Her skin is tan and olive, with a lot of moles. Her eyes are emerald green and almond shape, though the right one has a bad scar along its inner corner that makes it a little lazy. Her hair is very straight and appears to be dirty blonde that’s a little longer than her shoulders; she usually wears it up in a tight sock bun when working.

Personality:Astra is a natural leader, and is someone who easily takes charge of situations. She’s very confident in her abilities and her people, even if many of them call her a “hardass”. However, she cares greatly for her troops and those she leads, as well as anyone close to her. Outside of work, she tends to be very laid back and much more open.

RO #3: Zederec “Zed” Dupont

Race: Unknown

Gender: Cis man

Age: Early thirties

Physical Features: 5′10, well-built; he’s not necessarily broad, but he’s a lot more agile than he appears. His skin is tanned darker than it actually is, though his non-sunkissed skin is more of a darker sandy color. He has hazel-blue eyes, though sometimes they shift to an almost amber color, and tends to have a seductive look about them. His hair is auburn and wavy and parted on the right; he tends to keep just above his shoulders, and very much takes the time to make it look both stylish and natural.

Personality:Zed is a flirty, charismatic man who has no trouble talking his way both in and out of things... usually. He does seem to attract trouble easily, even though he’s supposed to be a talented infiltrator. His trust is hard-won, but if you manage it... you’ll find out there’s so much more to Zed than what’s on his surface.

RO #4: Seth

Race: Egyptian

Gender: Cis man

Age: Appears to be mid to late thirties.

Physical Features: Seth is 6′2 with a muscular build. He has very darkly tan skin, though burn marks alter it and its tone in many places. His eyes are whisky brown. His hair is crow black and kept a little past his shoulders; it has loose curls, and usually keeps the left side braided away from his face.

Personality:Seth is... well... Seth. If someone he highly respects or cares for is even slightly insulted, he goes immediately in a full-on aggressor mode as he is fiercely loyal. He’s also very much an asshole a lot of the time; or treading the water of being one. It takes a LOT to get to who he actually is under his armor, but, a lot would find the effort very much worth it...

RO #5: Azeri Ren

Race: Latina/white

Gender: Prefers she/her, is probably demigirl or genderqueer though doesn’t like categorizing such things.

Age: Looks to be in her late twenties.

Physical Features: She is 5′2 and averagely built. Her skin is a very light tan. Her eyes are chocolate brown, though they turn pale grey when using her powers; they are round and soft. She has loosely curly black hair that seems to be greying early that goes to her waist; it’s usually kept loose or in a loose braid.

Personality: She is... rather strange. She’s rather kind and soft-spoken and quiet at first, though she gets into moods of high idealism and talks about her hopes to keep humanity safe from the [REDACTED]. She is a hard person to get to know, and even harder one to get to know personally, but... what all will you find if you uncover her secrets kept close to her heart?

And, as a little bonus, a little treat... I’ll tell y’all about the world and the MC but only a tiny bit.

So the continent/empire of Iterra takes place on what would be Africa! And... MC is from what would be the northern points of South Africa, and is currently living in the most southern point of South Africa :-)

[30secondfics]

EAT OR BE EATEN (A/U) 6 OF 6

~ Author’s Note ~ “Before the renaissance we had the Black Plague.” 

- @thekingoflegoland

Rated M

Part 1 > Part 2 > Part 3 > Part 4 > Part 5a > Part 5b > Part 6

Seattle, January 2021

Gabriella Torres stepped out of her rideshare and studied the house she stood in front of. A small shingled house, hunter green, the grass browned from the cool weather and the paint of the white front door chipped from years of neglect. She knocked.

A woman with a black lacquered cane opened the door with widened eyes, pale, as if she had just seen a ghost.

“Hi, I’m looking for Calliope Torres-”

“She doesn’t live here.“

“My name is Gabriella Torres. Aria Torres is my mother—was—my mother.”

The woman sighed and eyed the young woman. “You're a spitting image of your mother. Come in.”

The sunroom of the house was clean, sterilized. It still smelled of cleaning products and polish; it was well tended to, unlike the exterior of the house.

“Can I get you a coffee or a tea?” the woman asked.

“Water, please, if you wouldn’t mind,” Gabriella answered. She took the glass the woman offered her and took a generous sip.

“What did you say your name was again?” the woman asked, taking the seat in front of her guest and leaning her cane against the side table.

“Gabriella.”

“How old are you?”

“Twenty-two.”

The woman paused in thought.

“I’m sorry to come out of the blue, but I thought you would prefer meeting in person rather than starting a paper trail…  Aunt Calliope.”

Calliope nodded in agreement and cleared her throat. “So how did you find me?”

“I just started grad school at the University of Washington, I’m doing my masters in library studies-”

“Impressive,” Callie nodded, glad and relieved to learn her niece was educated.

“Thank you. I was in foster care my whole life, you see, I knew nothing but my mother’s name. I swore to find her one day and I searched for her for years and years. Then, finally, I came across her obituary and I found out she lived in Miami… and, well, my research led me to you.”

“So you know who I am…” Callie cleared her throat and picked at the cotton of her pants.

“You’re Calliope Torres. You were the head of the Torres Crime family. You were responsible for the Miami Mob Massacre of 2013 when all of the heads of the city’s crime families were murdered.”

“Allegedly,” Callie corrected.

Gabriella nodded in agreement. “Early in 2014 the Feds gathered enough evidence to put you on trial-”

“Alex Karev and George O’Malley came forward and turned themselves in, in an attempt to put me away,” Callie informed. “Even after I paid them a very generous amount of money to leave town. It seemed that it wasn’t enough for two men who felt overpowered by a single woman.”

“You were on trial for 21 days,” Gabriella continued. “Until you were proven not guilty. After 21 days they were going to let you walk free, you were free—then you were showered with bullets on your way out of the Miami courthouse. A man named Robert Stark was arrested; he claimed you destroyed his life over unsettled debt.”

“And yet he’s still in jail and I am not,” Callie couldn’t help but smirk.

“My mother perished that day, and you were airlifted to Miami General with life-threatening injuries,” Gabriella added. “Some articles reported that you wouldn’t make it out alive, while others rumoured you would never fully recover. You were mentioned in the papers for months, until suddenly you weren’t. New leaders of the other crime families began to take their place, and new gang wars plagued Miami. By the time you walked out of the hospital a free woman, you were old news and the Torres empire had crumbled. You’ve been laying low ever since.”

Gabriella was nothing but correct in her explanation. The Torres empire crumbled, and it crumbled hard. In Callie’s absence, and Alex and George’s incarceration, other members of the corporation fought for themselves, fought amongst themselves, stole for themselves, until there was nothing left but a few skids of canned peaches scattered across the city. The Torres mansion was looted and then destroyed by opportunistic rival families. The Torres name became irrelevant. A name no longer feared. A name no longer remembered, despite the damage it did in the past decades. Bigger crimes flooded Miami, and though grudges still existed, seeking revenge against the Torres family was no longer a priority. 

Callie remained silent. It had been years since she lived that life, it was hard to believe its vibrant contrast to the life she lived now.

“Sorry,” Gabriella brushed. “I was just searching for my mother, I didn’t mean to uncover so much more about you.”

“You’ve done nothing wrong,” Callie reassured. “That was my past, and I will take what I did to my grave.”

Gabriella remained silent.

“So what do you want to know about your mother?” Callie asked.

Gabriella released a sigh with both grief and relief. Grief of the loss she had held in her heart for so long, and relief that she was finally going to get some answers.

“I want to know why my mother left me at the hospital that day, knowing she had the means to raise me.”

“I can’t answer for the dead,” Callie shook her head.

“I know that, but you at least knew her…”

“And I know giving you up was probably the best decision she could have made for you.”

“What?” Gabriella asked with furrowed brows. She spent her life in poverty. She was alone. She moved from foster home to foster home. The closest thing she has to a family is an old college roommate.

“My sister Aria was… impulsive. Especially when it came to money. She and my father would always clash on her irresponsible spendings. I believe she had you the year she just about had it with our father and so she disappeared for a year to travel across the country in a van with some friends. She was in no state to raise a child, even if we had the money.”

“But I grew up poor, without a family-” Gabriella began to argue.

“Do you think a crime family would have been any better?”

“Maybe,” Gabriella shrugged.

“It cost us your mothers life,” Callie reminded. “It nearly cost me mine.”

Gabriella remained silent.

“A life of riches is far from a fairytale when it’s funded with bloodmoney.”

Gabriella avoided her aunt’s eyes.

“So if it’s money you want from me I no longer have much of it,” Callie admitted.

“I don’t need money,” Gabriella promised. “I just wanted answers.”

“I’m afraid I can’t answer anymore than that,” Callie replied. “I didn’t even know my sister had you until this morning.”

“Would you have stepped in if you knew back then?” Gabriella asked.

Callie paused in thought. “Probably not,” she answered honestly. She believed the mob was no place for a child.

They sat in silence for a moment. Then Callie glanced at the clock.

“Then I won’t take up much more of your time,” Gabriella promised and stood from her seat. “Thank you for your time.”

Callie simply nodded.

“Can I ask how you found out where I live?” Callie asked before the younger woman could leave.

Gabriella signed. “Seattle Grace held a Gala last week. I was sorting the newspaper section of the library when I saw your face. Your hair is much shorter now but I had studied the family so much I recognized you right away… it wasn’t hard after I ran a search for you in Seattle.”

“What newspaper published that article?” Callie needed to know: if her niece could recognize her, how many more people could.

“Seattle Local. Don’t worry, I’ve already shredded as many copies of the paper as I could find,” Gabriella reassured.

“Thank you,” Callie sighed in relief.

“Can I ask you one last question before I go?” Gabriella asked.

“You just did.”

“Do you think there are people out there who still want you dead?” Gabriella proceeded to ask.

“I know there is,” Callie nodded. “Dozens of them.”

“How do you bear it? How do you live in fear?”

“I don’t,” Callie answered confidently. “Knowing my life could end at any moment is what makes every day so worth living.”

000

There was one part of Gabriella’s story that was missing; one part of the Calliope Torres story that was very private and protected from the public eye. Down a long hallway, two feet and a cane dully tread across grey terrazzo floors. The door at the end of the hall held a plaque, yielded the Seattle Grace Hospital logo and the title Chief of Surgery. She opened the door.

Large windows letting in lights from the Seattle Skyline also enclosed the spacious and personalized office. The walls were decorated with various frames, some with photos, others with accomplishments and awards. One of which was the 2014 Carter Madison Grant and a photo of a small clinic in Mawali. 

Arizona Robbins glanced up from her laptop and over reading glasses arched a single eyebrow.

“Sorry, I’m late,” Callie apologised.

Arizona smirked and motioned for her lover to come closer with finger.

Callie rounded the cherrywood desk and gave her wife a kiss.

“Hmm,” Arizona hummed with satisfaction.

“Missed you.” She said this every day.

“Missed you too,” Arizona replied with a smile. “How was your day?” she asked, pushing her chair back to make room for her wife.

“Well…” Callie leaned her cane against the desk and pushed the laptop back to sit on her wife’s desk, “I had a visitor at the house today.”

“A visitor?” Arizona repeated, intrigued. “We haven’t had a visitor in a very long time. Who was kind enough to send you a hitman this time?” she asked sarcastically. 

“Not an assassin,” Callie informed with a small smirk. A very small part of her missed when an assassin or two would shake up their home. It had been so quiet the past few years since they moved to Seattle, Callie could almost say she was starting to get bored. She and Arizona had become so good at silently putting hitmen away; they made great fertiliser for the flowers in the back garden. 

“Really?” 

“Yeah, it turns out I have a niece. It looks like Aria forgot to mention she had a kid twenty-two years ago.”

“No way…”

“She looks just like her, Arizona, if she’s a con artist she sold it really well.”

“How’d she find you?”

“She saw a photo of me in a local paper, from the Gala.”

“Oh, Calliope… I didn’t know you’d be photographed.”

“It’s fine,” Callie shrugged. “I’m sort of glad she found me. It was nice talking about Aria again.”

“Are you going to keep in touch?”

“I didn’t want her to feel obligated to keep in contact. She’s a smart girl, she’ll come back if she wants to.”

Arizona gave her wife a sympathetic smile.

“Anyways, tell me about your day…” Callie encouraged her wife.

“I think I’d rather save the talking for later,” Arizona said with a smirk.

“Oh…” Callie chuckled and moaned when her wife pressed their lips together. Arizona’s hands were on her waist and they slowly made their way up her shirt as they kissed.

“You called for me, Doctor Robbins?” Callie teased, between kisses.

“I did, and you’re late,” Arizona played along. She loved her wife for a hundred million reasons, and one of them included how ungodly good she was at getting her off.

“I’m awfully sorry,” Callie apologised in her bedroom voice.

“Y-you’d better be,” Arizona gasped when her wife’s mouth wrapped around the skin on her neck and began to suck. “D-don’t leave a mark…” she scolded, “again.”

Callie smirked and slipped her hand into the white lab coat and down the navy blue scrub top. She cupped her wife’s breast; soft, warm, and a bit more plump than she remembered.

Arizona felt wetness begin to grow between her legs. Slick. Heat. Then a gush of fluid like the breaking of a damn.

“Callie!” Arizona shrieked.

“Arizona...” Callie gasped when she felt the wetness run down her leg, “was that?”

“I think my water just broke,” Arizona said with widened eyes.

“It’s a good thing we’re already at a hospital,” Callie chuckled and took her wife by the hand before leading her towards the maternity ward to have their baby.

Callie and Arizona rushed down the aisle, hand-in-hand, away from the altar where Elvis stood to officiate. With no family left between the two of them, they spent their wedding night celebrating their rather spontaneous wedding with a rather expensive bottle of wine and room service.

Overlooking the city of Las Vegas, a city also once ruled by crime families such as the Torres’s, Callie held Arizona in her arms as they watched the night lights.

“I never pictured myself getting married,” Arizona admitted softly.

“You’re telling me this now?” Callie arched her eyebrow, taking hold of Arizona’s hand that was now weighed down by a wedding band. 

“No, Calliope, I mean… I never pictured myself getting married in the white dress and large crowd. But this… this was perfect.”

“Oh…” Callie smiled mischievously and planted a hot kiss on her wife’s neck.

“Callie!” Arizona squinted her eyes and stopped walking.

“Breathe…” Callie coached.

“I am breathing,” Arizona gritted through her teeth, freezing for a couple of minutes before gathering up the strength to walk again.

“We’re almost there,” Callie reassured.

Arizona puffed air out of her cheeks and followed her wife’s lead. Moments later, she found herself on a hospital bed, monitors attached to her belly and her wife by her side.

“Push,” Arizona encouraged.

Callie let out a long grunt as she pushed against the resistance band that Arizona was holding behind her. She took three bullets in her arm, two in the gut, and one in her femur which left her with a permanent limp. She had accepted her fate of the cane, but she had yet to give up on rehabilitating her dominant hand.

“Good,” the physiotherapist praised. “You’re really motivated today!”

“Motivated to use my good hand in bed again,” Callie pushed against the purple band again.

“Callie!” Arizona gasped, not impressed with her lover’s vulgarness in front of the physiotherapist.

The therapist couldn’t help but chuckle, “It’s good to have goals.”

“Let’s see how your baby is doing…” Doctor Carina DeLuca snapped on a clean glove and placed herself between the patient’s legs. “Oh…” 

“What?” Callie and Arizona said in unison.

“When did you say your contractions began?” Carina  asked.

“I guess, this morning…” Arizona thought out loud.

“This morning?” Callie repeated with disbelief. Her wife had been in labour all day and she didn’t receive a single text of mention.

“I thought it was just a stomach ache from all the poundcake I ate for breakfast.” Arizona admitted. 

“Did you eat the whole coffee cart too?” Callie teased.

“I only had three...” Arizona defended, “this time.”

“Move to Seattle with me,” Arizona said, her head nestled on her wife’s chest. Las Vegas streets were loud but she could still hear Callie’s pounding heartbeat.

“Seattle?”

“They’ve offered me a job as an attending… if I accept it, we can have our own life there. Just you and me, far away from the craziness in Miami. You don’t belong there anymore, we don’t belong there anymore. We both need a new start, somewhere we can raise a family.”

“You want kids?” Callie asked, surprised. With all the commotion, they forgot to talk about having children.

“I want a family, whatever that may look like. I’ve never had one and I want one with you.”

“You can start pushing on your next contraction,” Doctor DeLuca instructed.

“Callie, I’m scared,” Arizona told her wife.

“You’ve made it this far, Arizona, I believe in you.”

“What if we lose this baby too?”

“We can’t think like that right now, Arizona, you need to focus on having this baby, okay?”

Arizona nodded her head and grunted as she pushed as hard as she could.

The house was so quiet.

With Lucy’s passing, there was no longer pitter patter of paws against the hardwood as she played around the house. Now their house filled with the noise of Arizona turning the page of her newspaper, and Callie watching car review videos on her phone.

“You think it’s too soon to get another dog?” Arizona asked.

“I don’t know if I want another dog,” Callie admitted.

“Can I finally have my chicken coop, then?”

“No…” Callie slowly shook her head.

“Well, we’re certainly not getting a ferret, Calliope-”

“I’ve been thinking… it’s a good time to have a baby.”

Arizona’s face brightened into a smile. “A baby?” she breathed out.

Callie nodded, “A baby.”

“Your baby is almost here…” Carina announced.

“Really?” Arizona phanted.

“Do you want the mirror?”

“Oh god, no,” Arizona shook her head in denial.

Callie couldn’t help but laugh.

“Don’t you dare laugh,” Arizona scolded her wife. “You owe me a new vagina after this!”

“I’m sorry…” the doctor repeated herself. “Please stay and use the room for as long as you need to.”

“Thank you,” Arizona nodded at the doctor and continued to console her wife.

Callie watched the doctor leave with blank eyes. The news hurt her more than she thought it would. She didn’t even know she wanted kids until she married Arizona, and now that she found out she couldn’t, she was heartbroken. Her life of crime, the bullets of revenge, had already taken her sister from her; she was saddened to learn it also took away her chance of having children of her own.

“What do you need from me?” Arizona said softly.

“I don’t know,” Callie shook her head.

“I’ll have them, Calliope, I want to have them,” Arizona offered for the hundredth time.

“I…” Callie gulped to rid of the dryness in her throat, “I thought we could have some of yours and some of mine too.”

“Oh, Calliope…” Arizona sighed in defeat. “It would have been amazing to have a little you running around the house, but I promise you they will be our babies no matter what.”

“She’s here…” Carina announced.

“It’s a girl?” Callie asked with surprise, relief and excited butterflies fluttering in her stomach.

“It’s a girl,” Carina confirmed.

Callie and Arizona smiled at the crying infant. Carina placed the child on Arizona’s chest and Callie wrapped her arms around her family. She was so little yet so loud, and mighty. Her hands were bronze like a Torres and her eyes were blue like a Robbins. She was there and she was theirs.

“I love you…”

“What?” Callie said past dry lips. She thought she would never see Arizona Robbins again, let alone have her visit her hospital room every day for the past three months. 

“I love you,” Arizona nodded her head. She had known, deep down, for a long time. But she was at the airport, ready to leave for Africa, ready to truly move on from her tango with the mob and start a new life, a new clinic, for children in a new land, Malawi, when she saw the Torres heir fall to the ground in front of the courthouse. She hated that she had to see Calliope Torres get shot multiple times on television to realise it. She loved the notorious boss and she couldn’t leave Miami without her.

“Arizona, you can’t-”

“You’re not my boss, Calliope, you can’t tell me what I can and can’t do anymore-”

“No, Arizona, you need someone... normal,” Callie defended her stance. “Someone who can give you the easy life you deserve. Someone who doesn’t have a past-”

“I know your past, Calliope, and I know the kind of woman you are deep down. Do you think it was easy to let someone else run my clinic in Africa, to turn down a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity so I can spend three months in this hospital with you? I know love isn’t easy, but I choose it because—because life without it is dull and cold.”

Callie eyed her lover.

“I know there are people who want you dead...” Arizona continued, “that danger will follow you, but—why live in fear when we can take our chances at being happy?”

“Jeez, okay, enough with the dramatics,” Callie teased.

Arizona gasped, offended, then laughed. Her speech was quite cheesy.

“I love you too. I’ve known for a while,” Callie admitted. “But I want what’s best for you. That’s why I let you go...” 

“And I know what I want,” Arizona countered. “That’s why I came back...”

Callie cradled baby Sofia as Arizona finally fell asleep in her hospital bed. Sofia had that intoxicating new baby smell and Callie soaked in every minute of it. Swaddled in her hospital blanket, Sofia was content and happy to be in her mother’s arms. 

Callie glanced at Arizona and watched her peacefully rest. She deserves it. Arizona let out a soft snore and it made Callie smile. Her mob career started in her father’s hospital room. Her love for Arizona blossomed in her hospital room. Now their middle family had grown by one in the hospital room.

Callie Torres was working in a cubicle, in an office, on a floor, in a building full of cubicles. She was the daughter of a notorious crime boss and she was in an office working a nine-to-five desk job. Despite her upbringing, she went to college. She attended Penn State, the first in her family to go to college. She told herself that she needed space from the mob, but deep down she knew she left home because she resented her father for not being a good husband to her mother. Over a decade later, she still blamed him for making Lucia Torres flee. So Callie moved away, to a city where nobody knew her name, and for four years she studied literature, made an honest living, and lived a modest lifestyle. She was set. She had financial independence from her father and no ties to the life he lived.

Until a single phone call changed her projection. She came back to Miami after years of avoiding the city and the chaos within it. Giovanni sent one of the drivers to pick her up at the airport and she felt helpless in the backseat of the Cadillac. She hated it: the feeling of being the young woman with no independence, thanks to the nature of the family business. There was a reason why she moved out: to be able to do things on her own.

The short car ride felt like hours, but soon she was at Miami General: pushing through a crowd of news reporters hoping to get information and FBI agents hoping to find dirt that will finally warrant the arrest of the biggest mob boss in the city. The FBI were always around—ever since Carlos himself was a child—but they could never find enough evidence to take the family court. Thus, they tried to get close whenever they could. It disgusted Callie. Her father was ill and all people cared about was exposing him. 

She ran to his bedside the moment she squeezed past the door and took his hand into her own.

“Calliope…” he coughed up.

“I’m here, papa.” Callie soothed, combing what was left of his hair with her fingers.

“You came home,” Carlos smiled.

“Of course I did. You take it easy, okay?”

Carlos closed his eyes and nodded his head. He was weak, and he drifted off to sleep shortly.

“Miss Torres?” a soft knock came from the door. “I’m Dr. Teddy Altman, your father’s surgeon.”

Callie turned around and stood to politely shake the woman’s hand. “Call me Callie,” she insisted. “Can you tell me what happened? ”

“Callie…” Teddy sighed, “From the looks of things, your father has had heart failure for years.”

“He’s never mentioned it...” Callie insecurely crossed her arms, “Is he going to make it?”

“He’s responding to the ‘tropes, the medications we’re giving him, but that’s all I can say for now.”

“Is he going to make it?” Callie repeated.

“It’s hard to say…” Teddy trailed off, “But I can tell you that we’re doing everything we can.”

“Is he going to be treated just like everyone else?” Callie asked. She knew the doctor wasn’t oblivious to who she was taking care of. A high-profile man like Carlos Torres drew attention wherever he went.

“We provide treatment solely based on the patient’s clinical needs...” Teddy promised, “without moral discrimination.”

She stayed by her father’s side—only going home to get cleaned up and sleep. When she wasn’t tending to him, she was making sure his casinos were running smoothly. She became a frequent customer at the cafeteria, and even the girl at the coffee cart knew how she took her coffee. She didn’t know if it was love or guilt that made her stay by her father’s side. She felt guilty that she had deserted the family, all those years ago. And if she didn’t keep her head down that day, she would have ran into the blonde-haired blue-eyed surgical resident that stood in front of her while she waited for her coffee.

“How are the casinos?” Carlos asked one day, when he had the strength.

“Don’t worry about them,” Callie insisted, “I’ve made sure Alex and George stay on track; you just work on getting better.”

“You’re getting involved with our operations?”

“Yes, it’s fine, everything is fine.”

“You know, I always thought it would be you that I’d leave the casinos to…”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t cut-out to be a boss,” Callie hung her head in shame.

“Don’t say that, mija, I’m so proud of you,” Carlos admitted.

“You are?” Callie questioned softly.

“Always,” Carlos promised. “My smart, beautiful, girl.”

Callie wiped the tears that trickled down her cheeks and held onto her father’s hand.

Later that evening, Callie was leaving her father’s room to go home when she realized the watchman that usually guarded the door was not at his post. She grabbed her phone to call Giovanni and sighed in relief when he told her that he would fire the man for leaving his post and send over another member of his security team immediately.

In the meantime, Callie waited by her father. It was highly unlikely that any harm would come, but she still had an unsettling feeling in her gut—which amplified when she heard the door open, and she turned her head in time to see a grey-haired man.

“You must be his little girl,” he chuckled.

“What do you want?” Callie asked harshly.

“Well…” he shrugged his shoulders, his hands in his pockets. “I’m here to take him out. I don’t want to hurt anyone else, but now that you’re here... I don’t have much of a choice.”

Callie stood from her seat and took a step back. She was scared—initially— then anger sparked within her. Suddenly, she wanted to get him before he could get her or her father. She quickly weighed out her options. She was unarmed, and had been for years. She knew he had a gun, she could see the outline in his pants. She glanced around the room and in a matter of seconds she had a plan.

She grabbed the flower vase from the nightstand behind her and threw it across the room. Distraction. He lifted his hands to block the glass from hitting his face, and she rammed her right shoulder into his sternum, pinning him against the wall. Attack. The impact caused a couple of his ribs to break, and the noise of the vase shattering onto the floor caused the nurses to start peering into the window. He was able to strike her cheek with the gun, causing the skin to break, but she didn’t feel the pain. Her adrenaline was pumping through her veins and she wanted nothing more than to see him dead.

“Bitch,” he spat, trying to point the gun at her head, but bone-breaking strength pinned his body against the wall. The Torres heir was stronger than he thought.

Callie groaned and struck her elbow against his windpipe. Once. Twice. Three times. The sound of his cartilage breaking from impact. At this point, he was still alive, but the injury to his neck narrowed his trachea and he struggled to take the faintest breath of air. So Callie stepped back, letting him fall to the floor, and she kicked the gun out of his hand. She glanced back, her father was still asleep. She looked forward, the nurses had called security and they were waiting outside the door. She opened it, stepped outside, and a nurse walked to her side.

“You want me to look at that, Miss Torres?” the nurse asked.

“Look at what?” Callie mindlessly asked, still in shock from the events that took place moments ago.

“Your cheek is bleeding…”

Callie took a seat on a nearby chair, exhausted. She couldn’t believe it. She won her first fight.

“What should we do with him?” one of the security guards asked, wanting to be of assistance but also not wanting to get too involved with the mob.

“Leave him. Someone will be here to clean up shortly,” Callie sighed. It was only now that the blood from her cheek trickled down her neck that she realized she was bleeding. “I’m sorry for the noise…” she told the hospital staff, and the few patients that watched the scene unfold, “But nobody saw anything, right?”

All watching eyes turned away and went about minding their own business. Except the nurse who had offered to help, she had gone to get a dressing kit and returned to tend to Callie’s injury.

When Carlos Torres came to consciousness and learned of his daughter’s doings, that Callie was managing the casinos quite well and taking care of business in his absence, he knew what to do before his inevitable death. With her father’s ring on her finger, Callie Torres took her place behind the desk in the office she was forbidden to be in at her childhood home.

“I can’t believe she’s home…”

“I can’t believe she’s ours…”

Callie and Arizona cooed at the sleeping infant in the crib.

“We should go to bed and get some sleep while we can,” Arizona suggested. “She’ll be up wanting a feeding before we know it.”

“You go to sleep before she needs you. I’ll stay up a little longer, just in case she needs anything else...” Callie volunteered.

“We’re across the hall, Calliope, she’ll be okay on her own for an hour or two,” Arizona promised. 

“I don’t mind,” Callie insisted.

“Come to bed with me, please?” Arizona pleaded.

“Arizona, I…”

“What is it, love?” Arizona asked, placing a soft hand on her wife’s arm.

“I think I’m scared…”

“She’s safe here,” Arizona promised.

“What if something bad were to happen to her, to us, to our family? I don’t want her out of my sight. I know you we’ve been safe here but you know my past-”

“I don’t think it has anything to do with your past, Calliope,” Arizona couldn’t help but smile. “That’s called being a mother. We’re going to worry about her for the next eighteen years, at least. We’ll have eighteen years to worry about her so please, can we go to bed for now?”

Callie sighed then nodded her head in agreement. Why live in fear when we can take a chance at being happy? She had chosen happiness these past few years, she took a vow to choose happiness with Arizona. Now she vowed this: if anyone laid a finger on her baby, she would hurt them before they could hurt Sofia.

FIN.

[lightningstormtc]

Chapter 1: Haruto

“Monster!”

“Demon!”

“You’re a stain on this household!”

“Get out!”

Haruto woke up with a start. Just a dream, he thought to himself. Except it wasn’t. He’s been having the same dream the past couple weeks. A dream remembering his foster family throwing him out of their house on his twelfth birthday. Now he’s roaming the streets, trying his best to survive. How his old foster parents could throw out a child was beyond him, but dwelling on such things didn’t feed or clothe him.

Guess I have my work cut out for me, Haruto thought to himself. He lived in a small town where everybody knew each other. Although the townsfolk didn’t have the same opinion that his foster parents did, they did see him as the asshole kid who would pickpocket them. Lucky for him, he was usually fast enough to evade the wrath of the townspeople. If not… the amount of untreated bruises and marks speak for themselves.

Alright, let’s go, Haruto grunted, the bruises on his calves flaring as he stood up. Let’s start another monotonous day of “work.”

-

Whew, not bad, Haruto thought to himself, looking at the small wad of cash. He wasn’t as cruel as to keep the wallets. He’d usually leave them on park benches close to where he stole the wallet. He was relatively unharmed that day after stealing from a kid his age (he had no sympathy), a middle-aged businessman, and a woman with an obnoxious haircut who he saw shouting at a restaurant owner not long before he stole from her. He stuffed the cash in his pocket before looking for his next target. As he looked from behind a wall, he noticed a couple that he has never seen before. He knows he had never seen the couple before because he would have caught two people with such noticeable appearances.

The taller of the two was a woman with long, pink hair that flowed down her back. Contrasting her hair color, her outfit was completely black. How can someone wear so much black in the summer? Haruto wondered to himself. His gaze wandered to the shorter woman.

The shorter of the two had orange hair, wearing a white shirt and denim short shorts. For some reason, she reminded Haruto of KFP, the international food chain where he usually went out to eat. Since he didn’t have a lot of money most of the time, their affordable 4 for 4 deal was usually what he ate for most of his meals.

These two will be my next targets, Haruto steeled himself. Sometimes, pickpocketing wasn’t as simple as bumping into someone and taking their wallet. Sometimes, he had to stalk his target for a fair amount of time before finding the right time to strike.

“Ne Calli,” the shorter one looked at the taller lady. “Why did you want to come here for our vacation?”

“I dunno,” the taller woman, Calli, shrugged, turned to look at her partner, one of her crimson eyes revealing itself to Haruto. “I guess I just wanted to go somewhere a bit quieter.”

Vacation? Haruto thought to himself before stealthily moving to hide behind a tree. We don’t get vacationers every day. What an odd couple.

Haruto continued to follow the couple, listening in on their conversations. The two had very interesting conversations which tended to entertain Haruto more than anything he had done ever since he got kicked out. “Ne Calli, do you think there’s a love hotel here?” The shorter one, who Haruto learned, was named ‘Kusotori.’

Who names their kid Stupid Bird? Haruto thought to himself. They’re almost as bad as my old ones.

“For the last time, we’re both girls. How the hell are you going to knock me up?” Calli asked.

“Well I did read this interesting fanf-,”

“NO!” Calli shouted, causing some birds to fly away due to the noise. “Absolutely not.”

“Awh, it would be so much fun,” Kusotori pouted. “Maybe we can-, Calli? Where did you go?”

Haruto stiffened when he realized Calli was gone. Huh? She was right there, Haruto thought to himself. Where could she have gone?

“Mind explaining why you’ve been following us for the past half hour?” Haruto almost turned due to hearing Calli’s voice coming from behind him, but was frozen when he saw a curved blade make its way towards his throat.

“Calli!” Kusotori turned, running up to the two. “Why are you threatening a child with your scythe?!”

Haruto would normally correct her (as twelve years old is not the age of a child, at least according to himself), but the scythe to his throat kept him parylized with fear. “He’s been following us for the past half hour,” Calli explained. “I was just asking for him to explain himself.”

“The poor boy looks terrified,” Kusotori knelt down to Haruto’s level before looking up at Calli. “Put the weapon away. We can talk like civilized people.”

“You’re the farthest thing from civilized that I know of,” Calli grumbled, but Kusotori had succeeded in convincing the psychopath into putting away the scythe.

“So why were you following us?” Kusotori asked. Haruto turned his head shyly to look at Kusotori before looking away. Hey eyes were too inviting. It was most likely a trap. It had to be a trap. “Don’t worry. We won’t be mad. Right?”

“S-sure,” Calli stuttered. “We won’t be mad or anything.”

“Need… money,” Haruto muttered.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t hear you,” Kusotori said. Her voice was just as inviting as her eyes. Haruto was convinced that she had nothing but ill will towards him. After all, that’s how his foster parents acted before…

“Needed money,” Haruto said a little louder.

“So you were going to pickpocket us?” Calli growled.

“Don’t assume things like that!” Kusotori looked slightly shocked at Calli’s accusation.

“‘M sorry,” to be fair, Haruto did feel slightly bad for attempting to rob the nice couple blind, but he mostly said it so Calli wouldn’t tear his throat out. He had a feeling that would happen if Calli caught him lying.

“What was that?” Kusotori asked gently.

“I’m sorry,” Haruto looked down, suddenly a lot more ashamed as he had to admit to his crime aloud. “S-she’s right. I don’t have any other way to make money.”

“Oh you poor thing,” Kusotori brushed her fingers along Haruto’s cheek but pulled her hand away when he flinched. Kusotori then glared at Calli, who ended up not saying anything. “Do you have a home where I can take you to? I’ll be sure to give your parents a stern talking to.”

The words ‘home’ and ‘parents’ caused Haruto to tear up a little bit. His expulsion from his old home was still fresh in his mind, considering he was only kicked out a couple weeks ago. “N-no… I don’t have a home. I’m sorry.”

“Why would you be sorry?” Kusotori asked. “There’s nothing to be sorry about.”

“I…” Haruto was about to apologize again, but decided better.

“Ne Calli, can we keep him?” Kiara looked up to Calli, a pleading look in her eyes.

“W-what?!” Calli exclaimed exactly what Haruto was thinking.

“Just think about it,” Kusotori said, a malicious yet playful smirk revealing itself on her face. “It’s definitely better than two people being after your milk-,”

“Fine! Fine! We can keep him!” Calli shouted, walking around to stand next to Kiara. “Just don’t regret it later.”

“W-what’s happening…?” Haruto thought aloud. This weird couple… was adopting him?!

“We’re adopting you!” Kusotori exclaimed. “My name is Takanashi Kiara and this is Mori Calliope. Feel free to call us Mama and Papa. What’s your name?”

“I…” Haruto’s throat hurt. He didn’t realize how unused to talking he was, considering that he barely said a word in the past two weeks.

“What was that, sweetie?” Kuso- Kiara asked.

“I thought your name was Kusotori…” Haruto admitted. Kiara fell over laughing while Calli looked away, covering her burning red face with her hands.

[nyxshadowhawk]

Best of Nox Arcana Playlist

Nox Arcana is by far my favorite music artist, and since I’m desperate for Halloween season to begin and can’t wait any more, here’s my Best Of playlist!  I think every album is represented here except for the collab albums, the Doctor Arcana soundtrack, and Blackthorn Asylum (since that’s the only main album I don’t have a single song from). This list is about three hours worth of music, so strap in!

1. We Are Legion, Legion of Shadows: Every Nox Arcana album begins with a narration track that introduces the album’s theme and story. Of all of them, I decided to go with this one for the Best Of playlist, because I think that it encapsulates Nox Arcana and those who love it.

2. Night of the Wolf, Transylvania: Nox Arcana’s most famous track, by far. Also one of their most distinctive! The lyrics translate as, “The moon is the mistress, werewolves of evil / powers and destroying, incarnated wolf. / Wheel [or chariot], life, nightmare, vein / Sea [or likely “nightmare” again], devil, death, life.” (volkodlak, which means werewolf, is Slavic. “Mara,” meaning nightmare, is Germanic. “Dracul” speaks for itself. The rest is Latin)

3. Labyrinth of Dreams, Grimm Tales: My personal favorite Nox Arcana track, which I first discovered through this video. It is so ethereal and haunting, and absolutely screams “Halloween” to me. 

4. Into the Night, Legion of Shadows: Another personal favorite of mine, and a really spooky piece. I love it for its fast pace, and I think it sounds both unsettling and exciting. 

5. Shadow Dance, Season of the Witch: This is the best Season of the Witch track, in my opinion. I actually like a lot of Season of the Witch tracks, but I left most of them off this list. Season of the Witch sounds kind of like a Spiritual Successor to Grimm Tales, with that same distinctly autumnal and Halloweeny atmosphere. This piece in particular epitomizes that.

6. The Quest Begins, Blood of the Dragon: Nox Arcana has a tendency to start sounding the same after a while, but about once per album there’s a piece like this one, that sounds completely unlike anything else they’ve written. This piece is unique for how unusually optimistic it sounds. If you knew nothing about this piece, you could easily guess that it was about noble knights setting off on a quest, couldn’t you? I love the drums, and the dramatic vocals work really well.

7. Legacy of Sorrow, Shadow of the Raven: The title of this piece sounds like it could be Part 3 of Soma Cruz’s story, but I think it’s kind of an underrated gem. I like its melancholy, lilting melody, and I also like the organ that comes in midway through. This piece is just kind of everything you’d expect in a Nox Arcana track.

8. Echoes of Elise, Ebonshire: Nox Arcana’s haunting rendition of “Fur Elise,” which is very ethereal and eerie. It also has the same “aesthetic” of falling snow that permeates this album. It’s really beautiful.

9. The Hidden Realm, Legion of Shadows: One of two pre-existing tracks to be used on the Doctor Arcana soundtrack. It’s spooky, but also kind of calming and peaceful. It’s also definitely got a fantastical flavor to it.

10. The Raven, Shadow of the Raven: The title track, named for Edgar Allen Poe’s classic poem. This was the first Nox Arcana track I downloaded once I rediscovered it, almost by accident. I love this piece. Its melody is simple and repeats over and over again, but it works, almost resembling the structure of a song. I love the violin solo in the middle, which sort of acts as the “bridge.” My one complaint is that it’s much too short to actually recite “The Raven.” 

11. Ebonshire, Winter’s Knight: Back before Ebonshire was an album unto itself, there was this track from Winter’s Knight. This piece definitely calls to mind the image of a spooky forest with tall, straight black trees and slight snowfall. It’s a very different vibe from the autumnal forest of Grimm Tales. It’s also peaceful and mystical, like “The Hidden Realm.”

12. Hearthside Lullaby, Ebonshire: What a gorgeous piece. This is another outlier among Nox Arcana’s music in that, while it’s still a haunting piece, it isn’t grim or sinister. It’s soft, almost cozy, like snuggling into a blanket by a fire when there’s a snowstorm outside, and drifting off to sleep. It’s another one that sounds like it should have lyrics. This is my favorite Ebonshire track.

13. Masque of the Red Death, Shadow of the Raven: “There were much glare and glitter and piquancy and phantasm [...] There were delirious fancies such as the madman fashions. There were much of the beautiful, much of the wanton, much of the bizarre, something of the terrible, and not a little of that which might have excited disgust.” The lilting waltz, the spooky organ, the sinister chiming of the clock. The multitude of dreams! This is the ultimate dark masquerade music, if you ask me. It totally does Poe’s story justice. You can totally imagine the masked dancers twirling, the dimly lit colored chambers, the infiltration of the deadly disease... you know what, never mind, that hit a bit too close to home.

14. Haunted, The Dark Tower: I think The Dark Tower is my favorite album, because there are more tracks from that album on this list than any other one (including Legion of Shadows). This is among the Nox Arcana pieces that I would call genuinely unsettling, as opposed to just spooky or dark. This piece is creepy and almost threatening, like something is out to get you. 

15. Haunted Carousel, Carnival of Lost Souls: One of the highlights of this album for me! Carnival is definitely the most unsettling album. Listening to “Calliope” alone in the dark put such disturbing images in my head that I actually stopped listening, which is saying something. That’s not on this list because I don’t like to listen to it, but this one is, because I like this one a lot better. It’s plenty creepy, and it sounds like a nightmarish carousel. Even if you didn’t know the album theme, you’d know after listening to this.

16. The Dark Tower, The Dark Tower: ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE. The title track of The Dark Tower, and an awesome track in every sense. This just perfectly encapsulates the sinister majesty that is the Dark Tower and all the lore that goes with it. 

17. Magic and Moonlight, Winter’s Eve: I think most fans agree that this track is one of the best on this album. What really needs to be said? It’s all in the title. I have to say that some of the most breathtaking moons I’ve seen have been at the beginning of February, with fresh snowfall. There is nothing like the shadows of trees on snow in the moonlight. You just know that the gods are meeting up to dance in it when you’re not watching.

18. Crimson Thirst, The Dark Tower: Why did I put this one on here? It’s pretty unremarkable, since there are a lot of other tracks like it, but this one sticks with me. This one gets stuck in my head and haunts me through the rest of the day. Honestly, all the Dark Tower tracks are excellent.

19. Virtuoso, The Haunted Symphony: The Haunted Symphony is Nox Arcana’s most recent album, and I’ve been slowly warming up to it. Its soundscape is similar to The Dark Tower and Legion, with a truly gothic flavor. This piece is just so impassioned, I can completely believe that it expresses the mad inspiration of a tortured artist (as it’s meant to in-universe). 

20. Necromancer, Theater of Illusion: Theater of Illusion is a great album, and I’m really glad it’s getting more of a presence (and maybe even new lore?) in the Doctor Arcana games. This is another really fast-paced piece. I honestly think the beginning with the fast chimes is the best part.

21. Born of the Night, The Dark Tower: I mean, come on, it’s “Born of the Night”! It kind of speaks for itself, doesn’t it? Creatures of the Night rising to take over the world, shadowy choirs, the hordes of nocturnal beasts silhouetted against the moon, a Dark Lord or Dark Lady commanding them all from his/her castle, young vampires swooning in the rapture of fresh blood... There’s something so ecstatic about this piece.

22. After Hours, Carnival of Lost Souls: I wasn’t really sure if I should put this one here, but honestly, its clock-like, rhythmic chiming so jarring that it doesn’t matter where I put it. This is another really unsettling piece, both because of the chiming and also because of the creepy whispers, and I’m not exactly sure what it makes me think of. Wandering a dark labyrinth, probably. In some ways, it reminds me of The Night Circus, although the Night Circus isn’t sinister. This piece definitely stands out. 

23. Dark Desire, The Dark Tower: What is this piece about? Lost love? Insatiable lust? A forbidden romance? Bloodthirst? All of the above? Whatever it is you desire, it’s clear that you’re fighting it, and you’re losing. It’s going to overtake you soon, and when it does, you’d better pray to whatever god you believe in that it doesn’t end badly for you.

24. Lords of the Night, The Haunted Symphony: This one’s along the same lines as “Born of the Night,” but stately rather than frenzied. This one is more like vampire lords and ladies gathering on a hilltop on black horses, preparing to tear off across the countryside in pursuit of prey.

25. Noctem Aeternus, The Dark Tower: This is the only concluding track from an album that I’ve put on this list, and if you’re familiar with Nox Arcana, you know what that means. I was genuinely spooked the first time I listened to this all the way through. I remember I was lying in bed reading Tales From the Dark Tower, and it went quiet, and... well, I won’t spoil it. 

26. Nocturne, Transylvania: This is one of my favorite Nox Arcana tracks. It just strikes me as perfect. It’s dark and sinister, it’s atmospheric, it’s memorable, and it comes right out of the darkest depths of Überwald. 

27. Pandora’s Music Box, Carnival of Lost Souls: Definitely one of the best Carnival tracks, and one of the best of Nox Arcana’s selection of creepy music box pieces. It has such a distinctive melody. Slowly, other instruments and vocals arise to compliment the music box, keeping things interesting even as it repeats itself. 

28. Velvet Darkness, The Haunted Symphony: The first thing that comes to mind when I hear this piece is an empty candelabrum covered in cobwebs, sitting in front of a mirror in a corridor that is completely dark except for a bit of pale, diluted moonlight coming through clouds. I take the candelabrum almost instinctively even though it has no candles in it, and walk down the corridor...

29. Castle Dracula, Transylvania: What an underrated piece! I actually like this one better than “Night of the Wolf.” It screams “vampire.” It perfectly captures the dark majesty of Dracula’s Castle, it’s towers, its dusty halls, its freezing crypts, its gothic windows, its flickering sconces and floor candelabra that are just begging to be hit with a whip... And the Dark Lord on his throne, with a wine glass...

30. Ritual of Fire, Season of the Witch: This piece is oddly catchy. It has a great rhythm to it, and I like the percussion. It would be so much fun to dance naked around a Samhain bonfire somewhere deep in a secluded wood, with a bunch of other witches and maybe an incubus or two, or five... We’re definitely summoning or worshipping something, but ultimately, it’s just a party. It’s sinister, but a fun kind of sinister.

31. Rogue’s Hollow, Blood of the Dragon: I was pleasantly surprised when I found this piece. I love medieval-style music. This sounds like the kind of thing your Bard would play when you and your party are resting around a fire in the woods, in the middle of an epic quest. It’s peaceful. It’s a breather, maybe even a calm before the storm. It would be really easy to do a simple circle dance to. 

32. The Forgotten Path, Grimm Tales: This piece sounds very... mystical? Mystical and seductive. I don’t know. It sounds a little like you enter a dark, smoky, perfumed tent and are seduced by scantily-clad women who probably want your blood, or your soul... It also sounds a bit like being escorted to an initiation ceremony by veiled women down a dark forest path, with little golden lights twinkling around you... It would make a great belly-dance piece. It’s a bit of a departure from the general fairy tale theme of the rest of the album. 

33. Unhallowed Halls, Gothic: I think this is my favorite piece from Gothic. I don’t know why, it just is. It’s got a nice mix of piano, organ, strings, and harpsichord. And spooky vocals, because of course. Overall it’s a pretty standard Nox Arcana piece, but like “Crimson Thirst,” it stuck with me.

34. Mysterium, Theater of Illusion: This is the piece from Theater, and I will never understand why it wasn’t used anywhere on the Doctor Arcana soundtrack. I guess because it’s used for the album puzzle? But there isn’t a single track from Theater on Arcana’s soundtrack, even though the game ties into the lore of Theater. Anyway, this track should have been there. It should have been there because it just sounds occult, distinctly mystical, eerie, vaguely threatening but more weighty (like an initiation) than unsettling. This is an auspicious ritual, and you’re here to witness its secrets.

35. The Nameless City, Necronomicon: I haven’t listened to too much of this album, but this track really stood out to me and stayed in my head. It’s based on Lovecraft’s story of the same name, in which an explorer finds an ancient, ruined city and descends into its catacombs to discover it belonged to a lost civilization of pre-human reptile people. Because Lovecraft. This piece really sounds like film soundtrack, the track that plays when you’re on the cusp of discovering the information mankind was not meant to know. The paranoia that permeates all of Lovecraft’s work is definitely there, but it’s kind of exciting, too. You just have to know! It builds and builds until it ends with a gong.

36. Twilight, Grimm Tales: This is what I meant by “autumnal.” You can hear it, can’t you? It’s sunset in the woods, and the orange glow of the setting sun is magnificent through the mostly bare trees. The leaves crunch underfoot, with their distinctive crisp smell. The night creatures are coming out, some benign, others not so much. 

37. Once Upon a Nightmare, Grimm Tales: This is one of my favorite tracks from Grimm Tales. I don’t know why I love it so much. It slowly gets more dramatic, alternating between the glockenspiel and the strings, with male backing vocals for once. It’s just the right mixture of adventurous and spooky. I love listening to it in the forest at dusk.

38. Memento Mori, Transylvania: One of the best chime/music box pieces, in my opinion. I don’t think it’s as good as “Pandora’s Music Box,” but it really grew on me after I got Transylvania.

39. Saturnalia, Winter’s Majesty: This is such a great piece to dance to. I love how it starts as a slow, medieval-ish circle dance and then picks up! There’s even clapping sounds on the rhythm. Although it’s still spooky, it puts you in the mood of a fun winter festival. 

40. Gifts of the Magi, Winter’s Eve: I don’t actually know why I picked this one. I like a lot of tracks on Winter’s Eve, and “lighter” Nox Arcana pieces in general. My favorite is “Greensleeves,” but that one felt too “Christmasy” for this list. This one is better, being a bit spookier and kind of mystical whilst still being on the lighter end. It sounds like it casts the Three Kings more as wizards than kings or priests.

41. Veil of Darkness, Darklore Manor: One of only two tracks I have from Nox Arcana’s debut album. It’s a pretty standard spooky Nox Arcana piece, but a good one nonetheless. 

42. Lullaby, Winter’s Knight: Another one of my favorite chime/music box pieces. Unlike “Hearthside Lullaby,” it sounds less like an actual lullaby, and more like a piece to accompany an animatronic ballerina.

43. Nightshade (Single): One of the newest wintery pieces from Nox Arcana. I like this one almost as much as “Hearthside Lullaby.” It’s also on the lighter side of things, but I like that it’s more otherworldly than spooky. It’s like exploring a frosty garden during a light snowfall.

44. Undying Love, The Dark Tower: Wow, what an unnerving piece to be titled “Undying Love.” It sounds downright threatening, and maybe a little tragic. That handsome vampire you’re dancing with is definitely going to sink his fangs into your neck. Or maybe this vampire’s sunk into despair because the humans killed his wife again. 

45. Brides to Darkness, Transylvania: Speaking of vampires and their loves, there’s this haunting tribute to Dracula’s brides. They are beautiful, ethereal, and dangerous. I love that this piece is almost entirely vocals in the first half, and then the creepy harpsichord comes in. 

46. Legion of Shadows, Legion of Shadows: The title track. Plenty spooky with that organ. Similar to “Born of the Night” in that the night creatures are rising up to take over the world or get vengeance, but this time you’re the night creature and it’s something to be proud of. Honestly, I wish this album had more context. Who’s Lorelei, and what happened to her?

47. The High Seas, Phantoms of the High Seas: This was one of the standout tracks from this album for me. Like “The Quest Begins,” it sounds distinctly adventurous, but more sinister than optimistic. We’re setting out over sea instead of land this time, and the sea is brutally unforgiving. 

48. Dreamscape, Legion of Shadows: Another really spooky piece that’s kind of unlike anything else Nox Arcana has produced. It definitely has the quality of exploring an eerie, surreal landscape, like an alien planet. This isn’t the Poe album, but it sort of reminds me of Poe’s poem “Dream-Land,” which I think is super underrated.

49. Black Sails, Phantoms of the High Seas: Another piece from this album that really stood out to me. I really like the instrumentation. I like the harp, and the stringed instrument in the middle that sounds like the guitar used in the “winter” pieces... is that what it is, a guitar? Whatever it is, it has such a unique sound.

50. Grimstone Manor, Gothic: This piece lives up to the album’s name. That church organ really hits you. This is another classic example of Nox Arcana, with the organ and piano and vocals and everything. It’s one of the best pieces from Gothic.

51. Shadowplay, Theater of Illusion: This is definitely my favorite piece from Theater, and one of my favorite Nox Arcana pieces overall. I love how energetic and fast-paced it is, and I can easily imagine an umbrakinetic dancing on a stage, manipulating the shadows on the wall as they do. They conjure writing tendrils, shadowy dragons, swarms of bats and crows that they send out into the audience with a flourish... I think this piece is just so much fun!

52. Gypsy Caravan, Transylvania: There are a lot of these types of pieces across Nox Arcana’s albums. Like “The Forgotten Path,” it sounds seductive and smoky. This would also make for a great belly-dance piece, and it’s fun to listen to while reading Vargo’s Gothic Tarot or the Madame Endora deck.

53. Highland Storm, Blood of the Dragon: What’s this? Nox Arcana does a Celtic piece? With bagpipes? There is absolutely nothing else like this in Nox Arcana’s repertoire. It sounds so unlike their usual work, I probably wouldn’t guess it was Nox Arcana if I didn’t know better. I love it. It makes for a great medieval-battle-style piece, and was a lot of fun to listen to in Scotland.

54. Temple of the Black Pharaoh, Necronomicon: This is a really spooky Egyptian-style piece, that instantly transports you to dusty sealed tombs that almost certainly have curses. The whispered chanting consists of the names of Egyptian gods, and Nyarlathotep. (Nyarlathotep, Atum, Osiris, Set, Amon-Ra. Nyarlathotep, Khonsu, Anubis, Set, Amon-Ra.)

55. Sanctuary of Shadows, Darklore Manor: Another really creepy organ piece, and the other one I have from Darklore Manor. I’m not sure whether it makes me think of the atrium of a haunted Victorian mansion, or a secret temple where shadowy people conduct rituals, or vampires and their attendant beasts, or what. 

56. Autumn Dusk, Season of the Witch: I don’t know why I chose this one over “Bell, Book, and Candle” or “Mystic Circle” or any of the other ones I like from this album. I guess the clue is in the name. Like “Twilight” and “Shadow Dance,” it just sounds like autumn. Like the setting in Over the Garden Wall, but even spookier.

57. Pax Terra, Winter’s Eve: Another piece that sounds unlike anything else Nox Arcana has produced. It’s almost entirely choral, except for the sound of church bells, and it’s pretty. It has a kind of bittersweet optimism to it, and it’s  moving. I’ve actually cried listening to it. Its lyrics are Latin, and translate as: “Everlasting God, life on the forest floor, eternal sacred earth -- tree glory, life [of] the nourishing mother, eternal sacred earth -- incarnate, hail blessings, glory to Nox Arcana [night secrets] -- To the threshold of time, follow the song, glory to Nox Arcana!” The grammar isn’t perfect, but it’s still beautiful, profound, and usually uplifting.

58. Dark Embrace, The Haunted Symphony: I remember when this album was released last year, and I thought to myself, “Have they seriously not written a piece called ‘Dark Embrace’ yet?” And man, what a piece for that title! This is definitely my favorite track from this album. Technically, it’s the same melody as “Virtuoso,” but with strings instead of piano. While “Virtuoso” sounds like a standard (although memorable) Nox Arcana piece, this one is unique and striking. 

59. Toccata, Legion of Shadows: What better to close off with than “Toccata and Fugue in D Minor”? I actually have no idea how this piece came to be associated with vampires; its first use in film was for a Jekyll and Hyde adaptation, meanwhile the famous Bela Lugosi Dracula film begins with... the Swan Lake theme, of all things??? So, I don’t know how this became the “vampire music,” but I’m glad it did. Nox Arcana’s cover begins with the classic organ, but most of it is piano with some strings, eventually bringing in harpsichord before returning to the organ. There are spooky vocals and some tolling bells for effect.

If you made it to the end of this list, I commend you, and I’m interested to hear what everyone else’s “best of Nox Arcana” playlists include. Nox Arcana is the best!

[bestworstcase]

I mean Cassandra still went after Rapunzel and was manipulated onto trying to kill her,

and all of Cass actions and anger are directed towards Rapz somehow so they still had a bond and in a way Cass abandoned Rapz in a very important mission, all Rapunzel wanted to do was to help a friend that was being manipulated like you said akin to an abusive relationship and Cass started to hostigate and attack Rapz because of following new person she barely knew her anger although understandable doesn’t take into account that Rapz was for the majority of her life an abuse victim as well 1/2

You do have valid points, Rapunzel could have acted bette they may not have been friends anymore on Cassandra behalf, but they still held a bond a relationship, one in which Raps tried to help her and Cassandra did nothing but act more outwardly toxic towards her, Cass refuse to listen to Raps and decided to follow a person she barely knew making her act physical and emotional abusive towards Her friends and family, I understand where Cass is coming from but that doesn’t justify all the abuse she directed towards her community, friends and family who she tried to kill and harm in multiple occasions, The kingdom was still on ruins when she left the harm already done.

emotions are valid, but not the horrible acts that are made through them 2/2

#1: in and of itself, viewed separately from everything that came after, cassandra deciding to leave the group at the end of season two was absolutely the right thing for her to do. the situation, the group dynamic had become so toxic for cass by that point that i don’t think it could have been salvaged without cass leaving.

was rapunzel relying on cass to stick around? yeah. but tough. cass was within her rights to leave, cass was within her rights to prioritize her own well-being, and cass was within her rights to say “fuck off, you’re not my friend.”

#2: it was pointed out to me yesterday (hilariously) that zhan tiri’s introduction to cass mirrors adira’s introduction to rapunzel: both of them show up out of the blue, go “i’m a friend and i’m here to help you find your destiny,” and proceed to act like cryptic advisors for the remainder of their respective quests. should cass have maybe questioned this a bit more? sure, but like. no ones out here saying it was stupid for rapunzel to take adira at her word.

plus zhan tiri makes a big point of empathizing with cassandra’s pain and anger. she acts like she cares that cass is hurting, truly cares, which is something cass never gets from her real friends. (rapunzel does care, but her attempts to help inadvertently come off pretty strongly as “why are you upset? i didn’t do anything wrong. stop being upset it’s making me sad” in comparison to zhan tiri’s “i’m sorry that happened to you” and general focus on how cassandra feels.)

so… why is cass wrong for trusting the person who treats her with compassion? why is she wrong for taking zhan tiri’s side over rapunzel’s when zhan tiri, in the early game especially, treats her so much better? like…trusting the little girl who is nice to her and demonstrates concern for her feelings is the most rational thing cass does for most of her villain arc dbcbxhxvscxvsc

#3: cass focusing on blaming rapunzel for gothel’s abandonment instead of being mad about the many, many, many things that rapunzel is personally responsible for, like for example maiming cass in the great tree, is…clumsy writing. arguments can be made that cass is sublimating all her anger into one easy focal point + that zhan tiri is encouraging this to make tugging those emotional strings easier, but when the narrative never bothers to unpack that… that’s a deeply subtextual reading and i personally don’t consider it to be canonical. there just isn’t enough overt text to support it. anyway; regardless, this is where cass starts to go off the rails.

but at the same time it’s… pretty understandable for her to turn against rapunzel. she has a demon not just validating her hurt and anger but encouraging her to stew in it, and twisting the reality (rapunzel was a toxic friend) into a much more sinister narrative (rapunzel was a malevolent abuser who stole everything from cass and must be destroyed in order for cass to live her own life). and this shift happens over the course of months—months, alone with nobody but zhan tiri dropping poison in her ear. it’s realistic for cass to fall for it.

#4: it is disingenuous to describe any and all acts of violence or malfeasance as abuse. abuse is a pattern that occurs within the context of an inequal relationship; the abuser uses violence as a tool to exert control over the victim. if i go outside and punch a random passerby in the face, i’ve just assaulted them, but that’s not abuse. gothel abused rapunzel; zhan tiri abuses cass; cass does not abuse her friends.

would you day that varian abused rapunzel? would you say that he abused the citizens of corona? no. because he didn’t.

the reason i take issue with this is people like to describe any bad action a villain takes as “abuse” in order to paint them as unforgivable and irredeemable; this is because abusers are notoriously almost impossible to change, far more so than people who commit other types of wrongdoing. this trend turns “abuse” into a meaningless buzzword when it’s used in analysis of fiction and encourages very black and white thinking, neither of which are good.

so let’s say what we mean:

- cass screams at her dad for lying to her all her life, then lashes out and leaves him trapped when he yells back.

- cass crashes eugene’s birthday party to demand the scroll, threatening to attack corona if she’s refused.

- she kidnaps varian and uses a minimum amount of force (ie truth serum) to get him to tell her the moon incantation.

- she assaults varian, rapunzel, and eugene when the latter two come to rescue varian.

- she threatens calliope’s life, attacks rapunzel and eugene when they try to stop her, and steals the mind trap.

- she uses the mind trap on the brotherhood. (this i would qualify as abuse; i think literal mind control is one of those things that automatically counts.)

- she yells at rapunzel and storms away, leaving rapunzel trapped, after she sees what appears to be evidence of rapunzel trying to lie to her / manipulate her

- she impulsively takes over corona after her attempt to surrender/deescalate results in them shooting her in the back without warning. (i’d flip out and raze the city too, tbh)

- she fights rapunzel and tries to steal the sundrop during the eclipse

all of which is bad, of course. and while her reasons for doing it are understandable, none of it is justified by her anger or the hurt fueling that anger. but like. literally no one is arguing that what cass did in s3 wasn’t bad. just that it’s unfair to act like she was stupid or pathetic for falling for zhan tiri’s game, or like she had no reason to be angry, or like her trauma wasn’t a big deal and she should’ve gotten over it and it’s ridiculous for her to react the way she reacted to zhan tiri retraumatizing her, or like victims of abuse who are messy or imperfect or loud or who lash out or who don’t fit the preconceived mold of the tragic, innocent, sad victim are terrible irredeemable monsters… or like rapunzel did nothing wrong and cass was just some terrible friend who went off the deep end for no reason.

[hernandofuentes]

I’ve been tagged by @mika--82 and @thebeautifulmacabre, thank you so much you two, I appreciate it. 🌈💛

Rules: Answer 20 questions, then tag 20 bloggers you wanna know better

1. NAME | Céline.

2. NICKNAME | Cel or whatever.

3. ZODIAC SIGN | Virgo.

4. HEIGHT | I’m smooool. I’m like 1,59m, so about 5′2 I think.

5. LANGUAGES | french is my mother tongue, and I think i’m alright in english - even if it’s easier for me to read it than to write/speak it. I knew spanish but I forgot all of it since high school so I’m sad about it, and I juuuuuust started mandarin so I guess we’ll see in a year if i’ve been motivated enough and learned well.

6. NATIONALITY | French. 

7. FAVOURITE SEASON | Probably Spring now. 

8. FAVOURITE FLOWER | I don’t knooow, they’re all so pretty ! Right now maybe... Sunflower and peony ?��

9. FAVOURITE SCENT | Vanilla. 

10. FAVOURITE COLOUR | Apple green, old pink. 

11. FAVOURITE ANIMALS | Idk, cats ? 

12. FAVOURITE FICTIONAL CHARACTER | Mike Wazowski from Monsters Inc. And if we’re talking about humans, I really think Wei Wuxian from Mo Dao Zu Shi/The Untamed became my favorite one. 

13. COFFEE, TEA OR HOT CHOCOLATE |  I love all of them ! I probably drink more hot tea tho, especially green mint one and black lemon one. 

14. AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP | I try to get at least 7 hours, but lately it’s been less. 

15. DOG OR CAT | I always been around cats soooo cat. But I really wish to have a dog in the future. 

16. NUMBER OF BLANKETS YOU SLEEP WITH | Lately, 3. 

17. DREAM TRIP | I wish to go like everywhere. I absolutely wanna go back in Japan, I wanna go around China and South-Korea, and I wish to go back in Sweden with my sister. 

18. BLOG ESTABLISHED | Apparently i’ve got this one since March, 30th 2012. Nearly 8 years omg... 

19. FOLLOWERS | 584, i’m a smol blog but thanks to every single one of you. ☀️💛

20. RANDOM FACT | I took waaay too much time answering these because I deleted everything unintentionally. 😭

I will tag : @kinomotos @aschenn @torres-calliope @matija-nastasics @brolin-truelove @aconfusedidentity @goldendrizzle @96belleisa @comradelanwangji @hautegirl07 @shippingweekly @i-am-forever-a-fan @ahhhnorealnamesallowed @azuramane @monroeurfnboat @bangtans-angel @ravijahn @lastchristmas2119 @vannitey @micpon ( just ignore if you have already done it or tell me if you don’t wanna be tag in these things anymore. 🥺 )

[thenightling]

Preemptive Strike: Yes!  We know Morpheus (The Sandman) is problematic.  Thank you for noticing!

I knew I would have to write this one day and that day has finally come.   Now that Sandman is getting a Netflix series adaptation a new flock of curious readers will venture into the source material or watch the new series and they will be surprised by one little thing...  

The protagonist was a colossal asshole...

Yes, friends.  The protagonist of Sandman is “problematic.”   We know this.  We acknowledge this.  Neil Gaiman knows this.   It is very much deliberate and not meant to be excused by anyone. 

 “I’m just worried the author might think this sort of problematic behavior is okay.” - I’ve seen this statement before in regard to literature.  No.   Just no.  We all know he’s problematic and no one justifies it.   

Morpheus, in Sandman, has a backstory that is arguably villainous.  He’s done many, many terrible things.   So why do we like him?

Well, there’s a lot more to him than that. Also the little Fuck-up knows he’s a Fuck-up.  Seventy-two-years trapped in a giant glass bubble in a magical binding circle, (the very first issue of Sandman) gives one time to think, time to reflect.  And he’s still kind of a jerk when he gets out but that’s okay, he’s still learning.   Most of Sandman is watching Morpheus grow from asshole to more sympathetic and more human.  

To prepare you (in case you can’t handle or forgive his actions) I have a few of his most terrible actions here in this post.   So be warned, there are spoilers from this point on.

1.  Morpheus was in love with a black woman named Nada, a young queen.  I only mention her race because it might be an issue for some people on Tumblr who might think Morpheus’ actions are racist.  No, Morpheus has no real race.  What he does to her is awful but it wasn’t about her race.

This was ten-thousand-years-ago.  When she rejected Morpheus he grew enraged and condemned her soul to Hell.  Later in Sandman: Season of Mists (the fourth graphic novel in the Sandman series) a conversation with Death (Morpheus’ sister) makes Morpheus realize he was wrong to have done this.  (He’s a BIT thick...)    

He resolves to go to Hell to rescue Nada even though he’s afraid of confronting Lucifer.  When he arrives in Hell he finds out Lucifer is closing down Hell (basis for the Lucifer TV series).   

Eventually Morpheus does rescue Nada from a demon.  He gives her a half-assed apology of “Perhaps” he was wrong and “Maybe” he was mistaken for what he did.  

Note for context:  Though Morpheus is usually portrayed as having flesh that is pretty much bone-white he is actually devoid of race and often will appear as the race (or dream based deity) of whoever is looking upon him. 

Morpheus’ half-assed apology earned him a well deserved slap in the face from Nada. 

And finally he gives her the real apology she deserves. 

A detail that may not sit right with some modern audiences is she DOES accept his apology for leaving her in Hell for ten-thousand-years.   She still loves him despite what he had done.  I know some people on Tumblr will not be happy with her doing that but it is the character’s choice and Morpheus did not seem to think he would be forgiven, which (to me) made the scene kind of sweet.  Sometimes it’s okay to forgive a really awful wrong.  It doesn’t make you weak or less of a woman.   Sometimes forgiveness is the best way to heal.  

2.  Morpheus badly mistreated his own son, Orpheus.  If you know the Greek Myth of Orpheus you know what happened to him.  Orpheus went to The Underworld to retrieve his dead bride.  Hades told him he could have her back if he did not look back while leaving The Underworld.  Distrusting Hades, Orpheus started to fear he was deceived and just before he could leave The Underworld he looked back at his love and she was pulled away from him and back to the Elysium Fields (Greek Heaven part of The Underworld).    

Orpheus was condemned to immortality but angry Bacchanalia tore his body asunder.  His still-living severed head was tossed and ended up on a beach.  Morpheus (still very much an asshole back then) abandoned his son because when Orpheus was still grieving his wife, Orpheus had cursed and denounced his father for not helping him get his wife back. 

Morpheus was kind enough to send dreams to some Pagan priests to look after his son through the ages in a secret shrine but that was the extent of his mercy.  For centuries Orpheus wanted to die to be reunited with his wife...

During Sandman: Brief Lives, Morpheus reconciles with his son (who is just a living-head being tended to by Pagan Greek priests) and Morpheus gives his son what he has wanted for a long, long, time.  He puts his poor son out of his misery and sends him to The Elysium Fields where he is again whole.  How Morpheus had treated his son is one sin Morpheus, himself, will not forgive himself for and yearns to be punished for.

3.  During Morpheus’ initial falling out with his son, Orpheus, Morpheus also badly mistreated Calliope (the muse) who was Morpheus’ wife at the time.  Morpheus shut her out and essentially unceremoniously divorced her for scolding him about how he treated Orpheus (this was long, long, before Morpheus and Orpheus’ reconcile).  In present day, after his considerable character growth, Morpheus finds out Calliope has fallen into the hands of cruel mortals who are holding her prisoner, raping and exploiting her for her powers. He rescues her and severely punishes her captor.

4.   At the very start of the first issue of Sandman Morpheus was captured by mortal occultists who kept him prisoner.  The main one of this was Roderick Burgess.  

Roderick passed away and left his prisoner to his son, Alexander.  Alex loathed keeping Morpheus but he was afraid to let him go for fear Morpheus would seek revenge on him. Alex could have said as much but he tried to get the immortality, power, and promise that he would not seek revenge and when Morpheus refused to answer him he flung insults and threats at him, just like his father.

When Morpheus finally escapes he shows no mercy to Alex (though he spared Alex’s husband, Paul).  Morpheus traps Alex in a torment called “Eternal waking” which is a nightmare that just ends with him waking in another nightmare and that one ending into yet another nightmare and on and on for all time.  Alex eventually does get released and forgiven but it takes years.

5.   During Season of Mists Morpheus is given a faery servant named Nuala.  Let’s call a spade a spade here.  She’s a slave girl.   Morpheus does not want to accept her.  He actually does not condone slavery.   But if he does not accept her being given as a gift the faeries will use that as an excuse to declare war on him.  (This was during the time Morpheus had the key to Hell and many supernatural entities wanted it.)   Morpheus allows her to stay, knowing if he rejects the gift or makes her leave the faeries will deliberately take it as an insult and therefor an excuse to declare war to take the key to Hell.  But Morpheus never gives her any orders.  The one thing he does that others might take offense to is he does force her to remove her glamour spell (A spell hiding her true form).  Later this is beneficial as it teaches Nuala that her true form is not ugly and that she should accept herself despite what the faery society imposes on her.   

All faeries hide under a glamour and it’s a metaphor for conforming to what society expects and wants of you instead of being true to yourself.  Morpheus wanted her to truly be herself.  But the way he goes about it may be questionable as it might be viewed as not respecting her agency.

Later when faeries come back to reclaim her in a different storyline, Morpheus rewards her service with a promise of a boon as a means to play her as he is not comfortable with the idea of slavery.  Ultimately Nuala chooses to leave the realm of Faerie rather then go back to hiding her true self under a glamour just to appease others.  

6.   Another contemporary misbehavior is Morpheus kind of implies he wants / plans to take Lyta’s baby son, Daniel.  It comes off as creepy and Rumpelstiltskin-esque and this becomes a problem later.  It’s deliberately out of context and perhaps suicidal that he does this, considering what happens. 

Morpheus should write a book. “How to frame yourself for kidnapping in three easy steps.”    

7.   One of Morpheus’ greatest flaws is his pride.  He does not like to ask for help. He does not accept criticism well. He had probably never apologized in his life until he apologized to Nada (and then other apologies come easier).   And he had trouble forgiving.     

Morpheus’ past is dark. He has done some incredibly awful things (that is kind of the point) and while he is growing as a character he still occasionally does awful things.  But he learns. He grows.  And he tries to make amends and that is the point.

So yes, Tumblr,  Yes, I present to you a new Trash Can Child.  We know he is problematic. He knows he’s problematic.  Neil Gaiman knows he’s problematic.  I’m pretty sure Morpheus has shrubbery that knows he’s problematic.  He is a mess.  And we love him for it.    

So before you get angry about his behavior just understand, it’s supposed to be dark, it’s supposed to be awful.  That’s what makes his change more powerful.  Morpheus kind of embodies that song lyric from Beauty and the Beast.  (“Bittersweet and strange, finding you can change.  Learning you were wrong...”)   

So if you notice he’s a problematic trainwreck of a supernatural creature, good for you!  You observed the obvious!  Well done!   We know.   Everyone knows. No one will deny it.  But he’s our repentant former-asshole.

He is our idiot dumpster-fire baby but we’re willing to share.