#can god or something answer me. what am i supposed to do yk

[bingobongobonko]

clicking my tongue and having thoughts over and over again. how to be a good successful person if the general idea of success involves so much rise and grind to survive. like im not crazy right. to be successful i have to play an unseen social game with so many people, one i dont wanna participate in nor capable of playing along in. or maybe im lazy and making excuses, or is that what ive been taught to think. why is our only choices exploiting everybody to get to the top, killing yourself to get the career you want (and not guaranteed to you), or joining the military. and before somebody says yea no shit dude, i know; been known, but frustrating nonetheless. i do think im a bit lazy. im not a great person but im a person ig. unsure why morality of it is bugging me right now. just funny how intertwined being a good person and having a good productive work ethic is intertwined. maybe its supposed to be, i dont know. dont feel like it sometimes. im working, but when im not, theres a sick feeling in my head that im a bad person. and i do think that is engrained by the people around us, and maybe im lazy, but i would like it gone. sometimes i just wanna live, thats what my existence is for. morality defined by ur usefulness and work ethics is just offputting. but also im no one special so thats my view of it, there are good people who strive for a lot and thats very lovely. i just dont think thats me

[peachkkuma]

📓. DIARY ENTRY 12︴JUNE 5, 2024

dear loass diary…

this couldn’t have happened any longer than ten minutes ago but I’ve finally felt what it’s like to be nailed to a state. and let me tell u this, it wasn’t the state I wanted. I’m sitting here on my bedroom floor rn, my actual diary laid out in front of me along with some pens. I was about to journal, mainly because I was feeling anxious about my circumstances, but here’s the thing. Yesterday, I made the goal to really live in imagination and try to be in it as much as I can. I wanted to know what it was like to be completely nailed to a state. Not even to get anything but because I want to and because it feels nice. anyways, back to that anxious feeling— I was thinking to myself “wait why am I feeling anxious? this doesn’t even make any sense I was happy with my state and my imagination yesterday-” until it hit me that I already was nailed to a state, the one I was trying to let die. the one that was home to my “circumstances”. the way I saw myself, saw my life, the thoughts running through my head, the plans I had for myself, the way I felt about my reality was all a perfect match for the state I didn’t want. and it was at that moment where I really felt the realization hit me. yk, the 3D can feel so real at times with all of its five senses and stuff that sometimes, I forget it’s a state. and I’ve always wanted to know what it was like to completely bask in a state, so to have realized that I’ve already been capable of doing that— that I’ve already been doing that, was just so…eye opening? and it kinda answers my annoyance, I was wondering why I still felt so worried when the truth was, how was I supposed to ever feel something else if that was the state I was so aligned with? I saw an example on another tumblr post— I’ll link it here —that said how someone wealthy like Elon Musk was used to being in the state of being rich, so it would be hard for him to fall into a state of poverty. I am so used to this state— the anxiousness, the incapability, the not being satisfied —that I merely fell into the sowf, and then climbed out of it. and because I quickly stopped identifying with it, because I went from having it to worrying about the things of my unwanted state, I was back in my unwanted state. and ofc, the thing that started this whole realization, I was thinking about things and my desired self. I was thinking about how I embodies my desired self yesterday and how that felt so… like, far away? ig? like it felt like it could never be me and I was surprised that I felt like I could ever be anything other than what I am now. and that’s actually the moment when I realize I had nailed myself to this state. now, thank god for this realization because it was just what I needed to snap me out of this cycle of worry. this means two things, 1. nailing yourself to a state is way less complicated than it sounds, it’s totally natural and 2. I am capable of completely embodying a state— u might be thinking, yeah no kidding we all can, but sometimes u just have to feel something in order to truly know it and that’s my case —and if I can do it with my unwanted state then I can sure as hell do it with my desired state. because what’s the difference? actually, I’ll tell you what the difference is. all states are equal, they’re neutral, nothing but a state. but I unknowingly decided to place one on a pedestal, I decided that because I wanted my desired state I would be harder to embody. but it’s just a state. and I’m reality, I’m imagination, I can make whatever I want come to life, whether the state seems desirable or not. that’s just how it goes, all states are available for me to occupy and then manifest. and I need to understand that, I need to get it in my head that happiness isn’t above me, that it should be natural and normal for me to have— tumblrs telling me that this is getting too long so this’ll be continued in another post #yappertron3000 🤓 (click here to read part two)

kisses, Tiffany

[ggren-mainz]

Umineko - question arcs playthrough -> ep 1 - 11

last part - All parts and episodes - next part

Things are getting worse and worse

she's been telling y'all who the culprit was all along, y'all just don't want to listen.

Also I was looking on reddit at memes and one umineko one was like making fun of people who assume the answer arc will answer shit and that they finished ep 8 and still didn't know the culprit like ....that can.,,happen? God no wait i gotta lock in huh?? no more 'NONBELIVERS"???? well i think for now it's ok since i sincerely doubt you can solve anything with half of ch1 only, but still.... Ig ill have to think *disolves into a puddle and dies*

Wouldn't Kinzo's room be the closest to a safe one? I mean i remember them saying that only Genji had the key to his room, and in rest it's all done with an automated system.

Am i smart or am i smart ? (I think i'll become the queen of pointing out the obvious atp.)

Sooo true, save this here to keep it in mind, but yeah while something may seem like the most logical answer for the opponent, they might've not done it because perhaps they haven't thought of it. Variables variables...

they all go to hide in Kinzo's room, and at the entrance, Maria says how the door is built to not let magical entities in, having the same symbol drawn on it as the charms she gave to Jessica and Battler. So Beatrice couldn't have entered this room with her magic, and instead the theory that Kinzo left it of his own accord is probably right. That or Eva was right about Natsuhi or she lied about the receipt OR a secret door exists.

oookay this changes things quite a lot. Basically, he said that Beatrice existed but she died. So does this suddenly turn into a ghost story? No i don't think so.

Yk what would be the funniest thing Beatrice could do rn? Appear lmao. But yeah no good resolution too bad it's almost definitely not the real one. Or at least not the entire story for sure.

Wait wait wait, will this imply that Kanon and/or Shannon were Kinzo's children?? Hmm i mean, maybe it could explain Kanon's words. Or maybe just someone in that orphanage. I don't know if I'm sold in any way but i'd argue it's something to keep in mind.

Ok they say he used the orphans as human sacrifices which we know isn't true cause Kanon kind of died of his own will...to some extent. Idk i don't believe it rn, but again, good to keep in mind.

FINALLY. Took them this long huh.

Huh so my earlier theory was wrong, the twilight doesn't literally mean twilight. Then i sure wonder what will happen at the end.

If this isn't magic and someone is doing all of this than props to them they sure are a good actor.

Look i get it these people are very worried and do not know what to do. I'm not gonna call them stupid or say they should've acted another way, but i hope next time loop/whatever going back in time will happen they will figure out that maybe they should take the "get my gold" threat more seriously.

She's so cool but at the same time she's so getting stabbed soon. I can just feel it.

They're dying.

:C poor Maria....She deserves better parents. Pls guys fix it fic with Maria found family,

so later they realize the whole purpose of the letter was to divide them, and bring fear. A phone call comes in which you can only hear Maria's distant singing, and the people in the room panic and go out as to find and help her.

Oh god...she'll be singing next to the corpses, won't she? Also, i wonder what she's singing.

ofc i was right. Also *points finger* I know this image! it's the one in the thumbnail of the "Answers to all Umineko crimes and murders" video that kept being recommended to me on youtube! I cannot wait to watch it tbh, i bet I'll be like"HUH??? NO WAY!? HOW WAS I SUPPOSED TO GUESS THAT?!" the whole time.

So she is somehow blood related to Kinzo? I mean it being his wife would also work but I'd say daughter works better. Idk I'm saying bullshit, I'll just make a note of this.

ok so Natsuhi is invited to a duel with Beatrice and when the children find her, she has apparently shot herself. Maria then starts running towards the portrait where apparently Beatrice was, and we can hear her voice laughing. Then we cut to a sort of retelling of the events from the police's perspective, and apparently, they found the story about what happened on the island in a journal written by the one and only....*drum rolls* ....MARIA! now this wouldn't be that big of a surprise except we are also given the last line of the journal which says...

WHICH IS WEIRD ASF! because of obvious reasons. Why is she saying to find out the truth?? Does this mean she didn't actually believe in the witch? Or well maybe not that but did something else also happen? This doesn't sound like Maria at all. so ig another mystery to be discovered.

And this is it, the end of the chapter. The next part will be the tea party and my final thoughts and theories. Also just a thought but yeah, although i obviously wish to find the answers, this would be a metal way to end the game, and like not continue at all. Would be quite an end lol.

next part

[thegeminisage]

dead dad episode anon here (what a name), glad to hear you survived!! I barely did I had no warning and I was just genuinely MAD about how much I cried but not because it was saying anything profound it was just like direct emotional manipulation with no catharsis. if I wanted to cry about a dead parent while watching 90s genre tv I would go re-watch btvs The Body.

hi my answer got long you DONT have to read it but god see i TOTALLY GET THAT! and it's so funny bc my friend and i were actually debating whether the "worst" in your ask meant "lowest quality" or "toughest to get through" and your answer was literally both. i am literally so fucking sorry it happened to you like that and you deserve it the least of anyone bc it is HORRIBLE to have to deal w all of that out of nowhere. but you SAVED MY LIFE! if i had randomly had to deal w that after the day i had tuesday (the day we were supposed to have watched it) i COULD NOT HAVE COPED. like, for example, i actually had to quit the tng episode where geordi's mom dies (7.03 interface) like halfway through because it totally blindsided me and i was just so, so, SO angry at it, i felt like it was stringing me/geordi along for nothing - i googled whether or not they found her alive and when i got a "nope" i too noped. absolutely the fuck not. hard pass.

but then i go back and read the transcript, and like...yes, i still think the episode has too much technobabble, and i personally find tng clunky on all but its very best day, and geordi's "goodbye"/catharsis felt extremely rushed/like an afterthought, but we also have this speech from riker:

and i think if i had met that in a better headspace, having been warned about the episode in advance, i would have received it a LOT better, because it speaks (albeit indirectly) to my own personal shit yk. i actually quit before this speech and then watched the rest of the episode on 2x speed to get it over with, and had to stop and play it normally during this moment. it ruined the effect for me and in my mind this episode is still a dud for me, even though with the passage of time i have come to conclude it is not TOTALLY without merit.

so i do totally get why you don't like the visitor, i absolutely respect your experience w it, AND I OWE YOU HUGE ONEEE, but i do have to humbly disagree about the episode. this is mostly to get my own thots out so absolutely zero offense if you wanna stop reading here lol. but like i think it has a slightly different vibe than the body, which involves like, the sheer shock of it happening out of nowhere, and those first few hours of denial and grief just like. trying to comprehend the nature of death and how someone can just be GONE. i don't even really like btvs (i mostly don't like wh*don, it's complicated) and i think it's high art. like, the pinnacle of tv.

but i think the visitor was saying something different. or actually i think it was saying the same thing the pilot did, in a way. this isn't the first few hours after finding joyce dead in the living room, this is weeks and months and years and DECADES later, and jake Still Exists Here. sisko, quite literally, still exists here, has NO CHOICE but to exist in the moment of the accident forever. (for him, this entire episode lasted like ten minutes at MOST - and shoutout to him for being able to roll with the punches and put jake first anyway through all of that - when he gets back to his own time, it's going to feel like a bad trip or a bad dream.) and because sisko literally can't move on, and is stuck to jake, jake ALSO can't move on.

jake had begun to heal - he had a wife and a career and he was thinking about kids - when he accepted that sisko was gone for good. he healed after his mother's death because he was able to accept her death and because he had the support of people like his father. but once he realized his dad's ghost would be showing up every so often, that there was a possibility he WASN'T gone for good, he threw himself at that problem with everything he had...and lost everything he had. wife, career, hope for his future, all of it. the episode was saying something: that if you don't move on you won't move on. if you can't let go then you can't let go. if you don't heal then you won't heal. jake exists HERE and he is pulling his dad, and his grief, forward into the future with him like a LITERAL ball and fucking chain. i mean, he's got the baseball and photograph ON his writing desk. sisko gets only a few minutes of life at a time, and he uses every second of them to be in the moment with jake and ask about his life and comfort him. jake gets DECADES and he lets them pass him by without so much as "popping his head up," and misses his OWN LIFE, because he is burning his years like pocket money hoping to use them to buy back SISKO'S life.

i do have slightly mixed feelings on the ending - does jake committing suicide to get his father back nail the point home, that it'll kill you if you let it, or does his starting to work on his stories again before he died tell us that he figured out the secret was to live life while you had it, if even for just a few minutes? is "cutting the cord" jake throwing away the last thing he has into the insatiable black hole of his grief, or is it him letting go and/or doing something selfless? maybe both, which is nuanced, but it also muddies the waters/message a little. like, i def can't think of a cleaner solution to set the situation back to status quo - i just wish we'd had time for a slightly cleaner ending, and/or one more scene after the end, where we acknowledge that sisko is now stuck with knowledge of something jake will never have*. bc there IS catharsis when sisko gets back to jake (wish fulfillment? in fiction, unlike reality, you someday get to be done having a dead dad if you do enough aging and grieving and growing) but!! it only lasts for .5 seconds :/

*also, he watched his child die. i can't get into interst*llar too much on here cuz thats bad for me (dead parent people dont watch it Ever) but the bit about "no parent should have to watch their child die" acting as justification for cooper leaving murph AGAIN when the whole film all she asked of him was to STAY was flimsy there, and a miss for me, and definitely lacked catharsis. but this episode is better than interstellar bc even though it's true that no parent should have to watch their child die sisko DID stay and did it anyway even though it was awful to have to do. separated by time and space they DID find each other again...we just didn't to enjoy that reunion, really.

anyway, i do think this was You Exist Here, Dead Parent Version but i do fully completely 110% understand that if this episode had blindsided me i would think it was garbage and would want to kill the people who wrote it with a fucking hammer. so i actually enjoyed this episode because of you, specifically. a perhaps unwilling (at the very least unknowing) gift from you to me. thank you <3

[gomzdrawfr]

i love yr oc sm aaaaa!! It makes me want to make my own oc too but im not that creative…i could write a lil but I can’t come up with cool backstories that i see from a lot of people, do you have any advice on this?

also Im gonna pretend the latest comic you did didn’t exist~

🫖

Hi 🫖!! Thank you for the ask and showing your love for my bbg Raven(im gonna assume its her since my other oc Fish is basically non-existent PFTTT) hehe 💕

I am probably not the best person to answer you this because funny enough, Raven is my first ever OC XD so my experience with OC creation is kinda just…based on vibes haha but I’ll offer a few of my stories

Its majorly thanks to my friend bressy when it comes to making Raven, although she doesn’t post her OC Ava as much now we do a lot of things behind the scenes!

If im going to be honest, my advice will always be just do it, you have to start somewhere and then roll the snow ball down the hill!

You might not believe this but my Raven initially was just suppose to be a regular military private with zero background and stuff and boi her first sketches were terrible XD but hey! At least I had a name and a purpose— which is im gonna ship her with Price.

Everything else comes afterwards! Slowly but surely, I didn’t start focusing on her until very much later when im more active in the cod active, which speaking of is also great because the community (albeit less) do have some people who are willing to talk about OCs, which can often help build your stories!

In my case I talked about Raven with Bressy a lot :3

Not sure if this count as an advice but in my case, Raven is like…a mash-up of a few characters that I love! So taking inspiration from your fav shows, characters and movies can help out. Hell, my Raven’s blueprint follows Ghost HAHA (quiet, deadly, silent, unhinged you name it)

I guess Raven’s character is based on my own experience as well, like Raven has a few pieces of me inside :3 maybe your oc can be an extension of yourself, something you wish you can have irl but unable to achieve it(god do I wish I know how to use knifes HAHA) or being the opposite

Oh yeah, dramatify everything you can think of HAHA and also trauma helps (not even kidding)

Like if we combine the “opposite” thing and making it dramatic, the prime example from my case would be: hey! Im a huge flower enthusiast, I love them

And then I turn it into the extreme in Raven, giving her anthophonia(fear of flowers) and then make up a traumatic backstory for it(got tortured in an abandoned kindergarten with sunflower wallpapers which manifested as generalised fear towards anything that resembles flowers of sorts)

I think what matters most is to have fun. Your oc doesn’t have to be extremely badass or complicated backstory! There’s absolutely no shame in creating one for the sake of your indulgence (like to ship it with any of the 141, yum)

And OC creation takes time, don’t rush the good stuff yk, heck I didn’t give Raven a full name until months later :)

I hope my answer can hopefully help you out a bit and possibly motivate you to make your own oc albeit its shite advices HAHAHA if you do make one though feel free to share :] I always love seeing other people’s OCs 🫶🏻

Regarding you ignoring Raven’s death…heh you do you because I have a part two incoming….👁️

Have a good day/night! Muahahahahaa

[elysianslove]

ay yo? lmao haiiiii any chance we can get some haikyuu boys and nicknames they'd call their s/o? a lil deprived of kageyama, so if possible can you pls include him?? i hope you're doing well :)

omg wait i remember seeing this in my inbox and planning on answering it but i ,,, i forgot :( im sorry :( but here it is lovely <3 

HAIKYUU BOYS AND NICKNAMES 

ANGEL ! — 

akaashi; out of all his nicknames for you, this is his favorite!! he just thinks it’s very fitting for you, because you’re nothing short of ethereal for him. loves to say it when he’s first greeting you or as he kisses you gn or!!! when he says thank you :) 

osamu; it slips sometimes with him!! not his go-to but it’s very familiar on his tongue when it comes to you, and that’s very endearing :,) just slips casually when he’s asking you a question like, “angel, do we need milk?”  

daichi; omg he usually adds to it and it ends up being some cheesy stuff like “angel-face” and it makes you all flustered because wtf man :( and he always says it while laughing teasingly too ugh :( 

suna; suna has the cheesiest nicknames for you and you cannot convince me otherwise, and you can never tell if it’s genuine or ironic but,,, it doesn’t matter. he sounds so sweet calling you “angel” so whatever :) 

aran; this man. this man. he says it cause he knows it has you weak. he says it so lovingly, so sweetly, so casually, so suave and relaxed and his voice is so smooth and deep. who wouldn’t be swooning over him??? 

aone; AONE AONE PLS AONE PLEASE. he’d just think it’s such a sweet and kind and soft nickname and he likes the way it sounds when it’s whispered and he thinks nothing is more perfect than nicknaming you angel and he says it all the time like “ok, angel,” and “see you tomorrow, angel,” and, “love you, angel,” and it’s so quiet but so sweet hwbwjsjd 

oikawa; he’s about to be in 90% of these cause he’ll be calling you anything but your name. is it because he wants to be annoying and to get on your nerves? or is it because he genuinely means it? the world will never know. you’re not even sure he himself does. 

DOLL ! — 

matsukawa; are you kidding me this is his. it’s HIS. he sounds so hot saying it and he looks so hot saying it and he’s so charming and it’s so like easy on his tongue. and he has a slight drawl to it too and he always says it with this aura of relaxation and ease it’s so hot. he just. he loves it. he loves you. you love it. the world is a better place. 

atsumu; he thinks he’s way cooler than he is when he says it. you suppose he is pretty hot when he calls you doll but you’re not gonna tell him that!!! it’s not his go-to but you can catch it slipping off his tongue every once in a while. 

kuroo; yesyesyes he loves it. only ever says it when he’s so up close and personal with you like cups your cheeks and hovers his lips against yours like, “heya, doll,” and he’s just so handsome. ugh. 

kageyama; at the start of your relationship, kageyama called you by your name and nothing else!! but then he had like this talk w someone and they asked him what he calls you and he realized like,,, am i supposed to be doing it differently??? spent so long just searching up “cute nicknames for my s/o” and then he found “doll” and was like ok. i’ll try. and he tried!! and it stuck!! plus timeskip kags calling you doll??? that’s so hot bye

oikawa; this might be the only sincere nickname he has for you cause everything else is either to provoke you or to be cringy and annoying. and i’m sure you prefer doll over sweet cheeks and pumpkin pie and cinnamon whatever like you hungry tōru?? anyways he loves loves loves calling you doll cause he thinks it’s such a ? smooth and serene nickname? and his voice always gets deeper and quiet when he says it so!!!! 

SUNSHINE ! — 

hinata; please he is all the sunshine, but he always claims that you’re the true sun in his life. idk hinata would be so lame yet so cute like that :( and he always says it with such a big grin he’s so cute pls :( 

tendō; he’s so cute he’s so cute he’s so cute !!!!! your contact name is “my sunshine” definitely definitely definitely. he is literally in love with you and wants the whole world to know it. he loves screaming it out for everyone to hear but also absolutely adores like hugging you from behind and whispering in your ear as he kisses your cheek, “hey, sunshine.” :(((((

kenma; kenma doesn’t wanna think too hard on the whole nicknames thing but he also does kind of sort of really wants to call you something special and the first thing that pops in his head is sunshine. first time he used it you were Shocked but he was acting nonchalant about it (read: freaking out on the inside) and you were like “ok guess im sunshine now.” and you are his sunshine to this day. 

BABY/BABE ! — 

atsumu; it’s easy and it’s endearing!! he personally loves being called babe but he loves hugging you close to him after a long day and just sighing, “hey, baby,” like. he loves it okay. he thinks it’s perfect cause it fits and cause it’s like kinda traditional yk!! 

bokuto; he loves calling you baby cause he just cannot fathom that you’re his like he loves to always say it!!! and he loves how casual it is too like he can just call you that?? that’s so cool?? 

iwaizumi; again with the traditional but endearing and fitting. he doesn’t have to think too hard on it, but also it still means something and is more than just your name or a shorter version of it. also he sounds so hot calling you baby or babe idk i just know it. 

hanamaki; king of “babe! babe :( babeeee! babee. babe come on! babe! baby :(” you’re 99% sure he’s just provoking you at this point. like say babe one more time. but he actually loves resorting to baby, especially when you’re upset and he wants to be as endearing and kind as he can to you. 

daichi; very traditional too tbh. honestly when you two first started dating it was all he could think of saying without feeling awkward or feeling like he was trying too hard. later on when he started to feel more comfortable and more secure he got more creative. 

nishinoya; he has been waiting for this moment his whole life. the moment he can actually call someone his baby or babe. it’s his favorite and possibly only nickname (aside calling you pretty or gorgeous or handsome) and it will always be. 

MY LOVE ! —

akaashi; definitely definitely definitely calls you “my love” like i am 100% sure of this. akaashi is just so. he’s just so romantic but it’s also so unintentional? he says it because it feels natural and it feels right like you are his love after all, aren’t you? 

sakusa; he’s not one for elaborate nicknames honestly, and he feels like “my love” is the right balance of sweet, kind, fitting, and subtle and serene. it’s not doing too much but it’s also doing more than enough yk? also people that look like they would wear a trench coat/blazer and a turtleneck beneath also look like they would use the term “my love” hence sakusa and akaashi. 

tendō; i am telling you guys he is a simp. the loveliest simp ever. he says it so sweetly too like it genuinely makes your tummy twist and heart backflip when you hear him say it cause you can hear how genuine he is in his words oh my god. 

kita; he just !!! he is just husband material okay!!! he is so endearing and he says it in the softest most genuine voice ever and it’s literally his go to because yes you are his love you’re his entire world!!! he loves you!! he wants you to know it every time he calls out to you!! 

BUNNY/PUPPY ! —

bokuto; ARE YOU KIDDING ME. HE LOVES IT. he. loves it. he just finds it so cute and like. he loves the way he associates it with you now. prefers puppy over bunny but like. he loves both. he adores both. 

matsukawa; calls you bunny all the time. not more than doll, but it’s definitely so common. he won’t use it around others not because it’s embarrassing but more because he kinda wants it to be just a thing between the two of you, honestly. 

kenma; IT SLIPPED ONCE AND HE WAS LIKE. A DEER CAUGHT IN THE HEADLIGHTS. he calls you bunny!! sometimes, not always. when he wants something from you mostly. “pass me the water.” “no.” “bunny please :(” it works like magic every time. 

oikawa; oh my god can you imagine??? he loves it so much because one, he thinks it’s such a cute nickname props to whoever decided let’s use pets as literal pet names, but also two, he thinks nothing describes you or fits you better. you are just his bunny :( his puppy :( he loves you :( 

kageyama; timeskip kageyama calls you puppy. i have nothing more to say.

hinata; timeskip hinata calls you puppy. again, i shall say no more. 

suna; hello !!! he loves to call you bunny and/or puppy. the feel of satisfaction he gets when he calls you that like ,,, he feels like you’re properly his yk? yk.

KITTEN ! — 

kuroo; this one is for him and only him. 

LOVELY ! — (maybe sweetheart too) 

osamu; is there anything more beautiful than a tired osamu snuggling up to yoi and with a deep gravely voice saying, “missed you, lovely,” ? no there is not. it’s his favorite nickname for you, and he uses it all the time!! kisses your forehead as he leaves and tells you, “have a good day, lovely,” and comes back home and says, “hiya, lovely,” and tilts his head when you wanna talk to him about something like, “what’s up lovely?” cause you are his lovely, you’re his loveliest. 

sugawara; i have no other explanation other than i can picture it perfectly. he thinks it’s the best choice of a pet name he’s ever chosen and thought of. and he loves the smile on your face whenever he says it, he thinks it’s the sweetest thing ever <3 

BAE ! —

hanamaki; is it a joke? is it not? both. 

okay im sure i missed so many boys but i can’t think of any rn bc it’s like. hella late :( but i wanted to put something out for you guys!! point is, if i didnt mention a boy and you want to know, send me an ask!! and if i didn’t mention a nickname and you want to know that too? send me an ask well!! ill be happy to answer it <3 

love u all mwah <3 

[nemeseos-noctua]

God I love your work so much?? You guys are amazing .

Can I request how Albedo, Xiao and Diluc react to their s/o pushing them away in attempt to keep them safe from danger? (Eg they may be the traveller who is connected with the fatui and the abyss aand therefore fears for their s/o's safety.

Tysm!! I love your guys' writing style. requesting this specifically bc it's not fair Xiao gets to be to edgy one all the time in the fics🙄 how does it feel to get pushes away now loverboy? (/j!! I love him just thought this prompt would be a neat inversion).

𝐅𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: albedo, xiao, diluc (separate) x gn!reader

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: not proofread, blood, mentions albedos story (spoilers), xiao story spoilers, reader is not traveler

𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒: hehe tysm!! ALSO 100% haha i LOVEEE xiao but yk he be a lil stingy when it comes to safety! i want to tuck him in and tell him it’ll be alright 😔😔

during your travels across teyvat, you have encountered far more fatui and abyss mages than you’d care to count

and some of which— had some, err, not so kind grudges against you

these grudges were so serious that you began to worry for albedo’s safety. you personally did not care for blood staining your hands nor soul—but if that blood was albedo’s... oh boy

so, coming to a conclusion... you decided on the inevitable: keep albedo at arm’s length—for your heart and his

and, it worked. for a month, it worked. your visits to his camp in dragonspine lessened, your chaste kisses and morning voice left his life like... regrettably, his master

Staring up at the whirling winds of Dragonspine, Albedo’s teal eyes trailed over the ice, wishing to see a familiar silhouette among its blizzard.

He had been counting. It has been five days, two minutes, and 54 seconds since you last visited him—

Hah, just kidding. He didn’t count—but it has been five days.

Where were you? Maybe you were busy—the alchemist knew you had a life outside of—well, him. 

It was unfair of him to be impatient, for you had been nothing short of patient towards him. But still, his heart longs and yearns for your touches, his head feels cold without your fingers twisting through his silky blonde hair. 

Dragonspine was cold, but without you, it was colder.

he’d eventually head back down to mondstadt, solely for the purpose of finding you

his mind got the best of him as he spiraled into a brief insanity. maybe he did something to make you mad? maybe you were injured, recovering without his aid? so many questions spinning around his head he almost missed the sight of your [e/c] eyes

“[Y/N]—“ Albedo’s voice cut through the crowds of Mondstadt as the alchemist rushed forward. Adrenaline pumped through his veins, desperation taking over him as he reached a hand out for you.

“Albedo...?” You stopped in your tracks, taking in the sight of your boyfriend’s unruly hair and tired eyes. His lips were still purple—as if he had come back down from Dragonspine recently.

“Where were you?” The alchemist asked, his gloved hand wrapped around your wrist delicately, his eyes scanning all over you as to check whether you were injured or not.

“Ah... I was—adventuring,” You sweatdropped, the coldness of his gloves stinging your wrist, your eyes wide at how cold he was.

he doesn’t believe you—hah. of course he doesn’t, albedo is a genius in fields he wishes to study

he knows you too well to fall for your mindless responses or excuses, he knows your eyes too well to succumb to the smile on your lips or kindness in your touch

he knows, he knows he knows he knows—so why? what are you hiding? why are you hiding? from him of all people?

everyone has secrets—albedo is aware, for he has his own share. but please, can’t you spare his heart? just this once?

“Tell me the truth, [Y/N],” Albedo asked—no, begged. He wanted to know what kept you so far from his reach, what stopped you from visiting him or loving him or just being with him. Was he the problem? Was this the end of your love?

“I...” You looked away, tugging the alchemist against the current of the crowds, seeking an area for just the two of you.

And once you found it, you pulled the blonde into a hug. The coldness of his coat didn’t faze you, nor did the way his eyes widened or the way his arms hesitantly wrapped back around you.

“I don’t want someone like you to get involved with me, Albedo. You’re...” You looked away, your face still buried into the alchemist’s shoulder. 

“... A weakness. You’re a weakness that’ll be used against me.”

albedo is in utter disbelief

he—you—what?!

he’s... your weakness?

albedo doesn’t know whether to be flattered or hurt. he knows you have a dangerous job, he knows about the amount of letters you receive threatening him or you, he knows what you’re doing is for the better...

but—he cannot allow it. he wants to hold you without regrets, he wants to kiss you and eat lunch with you at good hunter...

“[Y/N],” Albedo breathed, cupping your cheeks in the palm of his hands as he stared violently into your eyes. Gaze softening, he couldn’t bring it in himself to scold you for all the worries you brought him to.

“I promise you—that even if Fatui and Abyss Mages disrupt my alchemy, I promise that I want to get involved with you—I, I want to be with you.”

His heart, it wants so much, it wants to have you, it wants to love you.

So please—won’t you let him do that? 

xiao also has many people out for his throat

well, i suppose... the difference between those ‘people’ and your ‘people’ is the fact that xiao’s debts are owed to the dead

the whispers, the screams, the agony. it plagues every part of his mind, like a melody with no beat, like an endless tune that he will hear for the rest of time

and you—you’re like, the charm. the ward and sigil that scares away all of those demons. you’re the sunshine that seeps through the cracks of caves

and now... you’re drifting. like a ship at sea, he wonders... will you be back?

regrettably—you think—maybe, maybe... you won’t return

What is this? The third week Xiao has sat atop the roof of Wangshu Inn? Hoping mindlessly to hear your steps up the staircase?

Hah. Is this who he has become? An adeptus who waits for a mortal like you to come, an adeptus who should be defending Liyue, and yet, here he is.

he’s a bit... put off

like. who are you to make him feel this way, mortal? (derogatory) 

he doesn’t want to admit it... but... he misses you. there! he said it. he misses you. now can you come back, please?

he knows, he knows he is not the best lover... that he is blunt, enigmatic, and sometimes... rude. but— but you, you accept him for that

and he ponders atop the roof of wangshu inn—perhaps, was this ignoring scheme long overdue? have you finally grown tired of him and all of his karma? have you found someone better—someone you can love you, hold you, and care for you like you deserve?

he hopes—the answer is no

but he knows... the answer is probably yes

“Oh, [Y/N]! You’re back!” Verr Goldet’s hushed voice ran through the adeptus mind as his form shot up almost instantly. Staring down from his position on the roof, his yellow eyes stared over at your familiar form, your [e/c] eyes and vision that dangled from your hip.

“Haha, sorry about that.” 

You smiled, but Xiao didn’t miss the way you winced upon doing so. Your arms and legs were wrapped with bandages, dried splotches of red and clothing as messy as could be.

“Your room is upstairs, sleep well,” Verr Goldet nodded knowingly, a bittersweet grin on her face as her mind flickered to the thought of Xiao and his shortening temper.

once you step out onto the balcony, you do not need to look to see who has appeared beside you

“Hello, Xiao!” You say openly, arms outstretched for a hug as the adeptus merely stared at you. Three weeks. Three weeks without you, three weeks too many—and here you were, opening your arms like you had just returned back from an hour long trip.

“ . . . “ Staying silent, Xiao could only cross his arms, glaring at you with mixed emotions. He was relieved to see you back and ‘happy’, but still, he was frustrated and irritated at the way you behaved so recklessly.

“You owe me an expla—“

“—nation,” You finished for the male, an exasperated smile gracing your features as you turned over to the balcony, the setting moon and proud stars soaring like the birds of Mondstadt.

“I was... dealing with some encounters,” Your tone was laced with a malice even he wasn’t expecting, the number of bandages scouring your skin finally making sense as his eyes narrowed into slits.

“Fatui? Tell me where they are, I wi—“

“No.”

Turning over to him fully, Xiao’s breath hitched. Ugh, again—you and your pretty smile and charming features. The simplest things you do made him go insane like the karmic debts that flourished through his mind.

“You can’t get involved, Xiao. They will only go after you. I returned here today to tell you that I’ll be going off for three month—“

“What?” The Yaksha breathed in disbelief. Did he hear right? Were you seriously leaving again?! 

“I said, I am leaving again... Xiao. It’s not you—Celestia no... it’d never be you. It’s just...” You looked around, to anywhere, anyone but him. If you glanced at him now, chances are you’d succumb to his sunny eyes and stay back at Wangshu Inn. 

“... The Fatui. I got on their wanted list and—I don’t want them to use you against me. So I’ll go out and get rid of them, and I’ll be ba—“

“No.”

It was his turn to decline, for he didn’t want to hear anything you had to say. You got on the Fatui’s wanted list?! What?! He...

He was going to kill them. 

“Do you think I am weak, [Y/N]? Eons of slaughter and—“ 

“Xiao!” You facepalmed, raising your voice slightly at the male as he blinked, taken aback that you, a mortal would ever thing of committing such a heinous crime towards a divine being like him.

“You’re not weak! It’s just... I’m weak. And if they find you, they could just threaten me with everything they’d do to you! Even if nothing happened at all...” Your voice died down, your heart hammering against your chest as Xiao’s eyes softened.

Xiao was—speechless. He didn’t know what to say, what to do. Nobody had ever thought of him so kindly before, neither have they ever treated him as something other than a weapon of war.

So, he vowed. Like the night Rex Lapis found him all those millennia ago, like the night he broke free from the chains of manipulation—he vowed, time and time again—

“I will protect you, [Y/N]. For there is no need to protect me.”

[internal screaming]

diluc, of all people, no longer is afraid of ‘grudges’ or ‘debts’ owed to the fatui or abyss order. he dances with evil, masquerading each night for his life

and now, the only light in his world full of darkness, the only fire in the cold icy winds...

left

you left. you left with a little note saying you’d be back in what—five months?

a part of him was... shocked. it was surprised at how abrupt it was. one moment, the two of you were laying in bed, cradling each others’ forms. and the next? you were gone

the other part of him was... worried. did you want to leave him? what was this about? did you owe debt to the fatui? you could’ve told him, he would’ve payed for it all in a heartbeat

but diluc of mondstadt—hah, he was not known for stepping down so easily. so until he figures out why you left so suddenly, he is not stopping his search for the truth

and once he so happens to run into lumine and asks the traveler where you’ve been—he’s shocked

at first, he thinks lumine must me mistaken. what? what do you mean “[y/n] is heading out to fight the abyss herald”, you’re kidding... haha...

(lumine swore she saw her life flash before her eyes when diluc wrapped his head around the news)

diluc feels a bit... guilty. he feels guilty that he didn’t know sooner, he feels guilty that the abyss order is bothering you like how it bothers him, he feels guilty for everything

Wiping some blood that spilled from the corner of your mouth, you grimaced at the metallic taste. 

What was it? Err... day five? This was the first Abyss Herald you have encountered so far, and you could only assume it was the first of many.

Standing up, you sheathed your weapon. Your vision glowed brightly in the darkness of the ruins, the moon illuminating the way out as you sighed, pulling yourself across the stone cold floor.

As you trudged outside and into the moonlight, a twig cracked under a foot that wasn’t yours, prompting you to reach out and materialize your weapon, charging it with power from your vision.

“Who?”

Stepping out from the trees, your eyes widened at a sight you hadn’t expected to see—at least, expected to see this soon.

“Diluc?” You breathed, heaving a sigh of relief as the male took no notice to your words, instead, his vermilion eyes traced over your battered form, his eyes worrying even more with each glance he spared.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He asked, rushing up to you as he pulled out some bandages, wrapping them around your wounds so he could get you back to the winery.

pushing yourself away from his grasp, diluc watched in hurt as you kept him away from your figure

“i couldn’t—i didn’t want you to get involved,” you mumbled guiltily, looking away from the male as his eyes seemed to berate you silently

“me involved? what do you mean?” diluc asks in disbelief. he of all people should be the one telling you that

“the abyss. i got in a tumble with them and now they’re after my blood,” you murmured, only causing diluc’s heart to pound even louder in his chest, his brain flickering to unpleasant memories as he rushed up to you, securely placing his hands on your shoulders

He’s... speechless. He doesn’t know what to say, what to do. He’s usually the one keeping people at arms-length—yet here you were, stealing his lines and his worries.

“I...” Diluc paused, trying to form words, and yet, nothing came to mind.

“...”

Silence. It filled the ambience and your hearts, yet, it was not the same silence in the abyss, nor was it the same silence before a nightmare.

It was a silence of awe, a silence that you’d hear before a firework would shoot up in the sky—it was calming, a relaxing wave like a seashell pressed against your ear.

A silent love—like the one you and Diluc shared. An unsung melody that played in the beat of your hearts, the breaths of the wind...

A silent promise, like a marriage or a confession, a promise to—

“I will be by your side, [Y/N]. No matter what.”

Through thick and thin, cold and warm, there is nothing but you two, two lovers against the darkness, dancing with ghosts and evil.

— constellations! 💫

[loaprincessblog]

Hey, Can I vent real quick? If not just delete this 😭

I feel stuck, maybe desperate idk. I’ve known about manifesting since April of 2020 and yes I started with Law of attraction(i know😭) but I’ve had this one desire for the longest and I’ve been using all these different methods trying to manifest it and it’s been two years and I feel like nothing is working. I know I’m not supposed to acknowledge the time but this shit gets frustrating yk, it’s like I feel like I’m doing everything right and my shit is still not here. And it makes me wanna cry sometimes because bro what else can I fucking do, like why is it not working? I know all the other law of assumption blogs are like the law is always working, which I believe but to like a certain extent. I’ve been doing all these methods and still nothing. I tried commanding my subconscious and that mf just doesn’t listen, like I tried being like “I’m god, it’s my reality, I tell you what to do” and that mf is like “Girl 🤣🤣” but I’ve gotten small shit (seeing numbers, cars etc) but it’s like when I wanna see bigger stuff that’s when the mf clocks out. I’ve tried self concept, I would affirm over and over for days maybe even weeks and nothing. I know I’m not supposed to check the 3D or whatever but that’s hard when it’s like right in your face. I’ve manifested something before(Health wise) and it worked like a gem, so I was like “okay I’m gonna do the same thing I did to manifest that with this new desire” and it like doesn’t work. And I know saying it’s doesn’t work is like a bad mind set but when I try to fake it till I make it or try to live in the end, I get nothing in the end, just time wasted. I’ve listened to subliminals, Nothing. Scripted, Nothing. Visualized, Nothing. It’s so frustrating cause I see people with their success stories and I’m like “Bro what am I doing wrong” I’ve tried so hard to keep that positive, I am god attitude but I feel like it doesn’t work.

Anyways so sorry for that long ass message also I hope you don’t mind if I curse too much 😭😭. 💕

hi darling 💓

i feel really happy you’re coming to me about this, it means so much to me. ur not cursing too much, i know i don’t cuss much but god i curse like a mf irl 😭 my blog is my biggest comfort, and it makes me so happy you guys find comfort in me 💞

i know a lot of u guys struggle with this (i did too for the LONGEST) so to me it was very important i answer this one ASAP. i first got into law of attraction. before September 2020 i had absolutely no idea what the fuck manifesting even was. so it absolutely blew my mind. and just like you i was applying technique after technique. and would rarely see results.

it’s perfectly ok to cry or feel frustrated. girl, i was just talking so much shit to my mom about what i already revised an hour ago. and you know what? that is perfectly fine. you shouldn’t feel like you have to suppress how you feel. but you should be immensely proud of yourself. you haven’t given up yet. and have you ever thought to yourself why?

please keep working on ur self concept. don’t give up on yourself. i never want to hear that from you again, ok? love yourself. pat yourself on the fucking back. self concept isn’t a technique or a method. and it doesn’t matter how long you’ve been at it. if anything it should mean all of that persisting and hard work will pay off.

you have to decide to break the cycle. no one can make that decision but you. tough love, but you can go to 50 million other blogs and ask for help but guess what? you still have to apply. all you have to do is ASSUME you have everything you want. Just BELIEVE. you don’t have to do a billion different methods. All I’m asking is for you to take a leap of faith.

do you want to keep struggling with the law for another 2 years? or 10? or do you want to live your desired life? at the end of the day it’s your decision. you can walk away right now from the law. i’m only here to tell all of you it’s real and that you absolutely deserve everything you desire.

[dimpledlavendeer]

I think I'm running out of ideas 🥲

This is again long and suggestive 😩

I love Hee sm 🖤

Heeseung when he has a night off and wants to spend it with you

He had an hectic schedule so it's been a while since you two saw each other

He was available that night and he asked you to spend the night with him since he was off work early

You missed him sm so ofc you accepted his offer

He looked so tired but was saying he was fine

Correction Hee looked tired and gorgeous

I mean you didn't even know what the reason was but Hee just looked so hot to your eyes rn

"Damn it y/n it's not the time for it, He is tired" you thought

But when Hee said he was gonna take a shower your struggle got worse :')

Now Hee was sitting next to you with his long wet hair eating ramyeon while he was the snack to your eyes LMAO

You were supposed to eat with him but you couldn't bc you were so busy eating him with your eyes

Hee was tired but not stupid especially when it comes to well yk ;)

So he realized you weren't eating instead you were just staring

"Are you not hungry baby?"

"Huh? Oh I... uhm I am hun- hungry.."

You were stuttering and you hated how small you sound while answering a simple question just because of the way he looked

On the other hand he was quite amused so he tried to talk with you more

"Then why don't you eat?" He said licking his lips

Ofc your gaze shifted to his lips and stayed there "I...uhm I am ea- eating"

He got closer to you and looked at you eyes staring into your soul

"Really? Your plate is still full tho..." He pushed a strand of your hair behind your ear "and it looks like there's something occupying your mind rn wanna share what it is baby?"

Crap you thought, he caught you

"No no I'm fine really" you managed to say and grabbed your chopsticks to eat

He hold your chin very gently and made you look at him

"You didn't miss me y/n?"

"I did"

"Then why don't you just do what you're thinking about right now?"

"D-do w-what I'm thinking about?"

Hee came close only to peck your lips and pulled off

His stare was on you Cleary expecting a move while he was biting on his lower lip in anticipation

He honestly was so handsome, his long hair complementing his beautiful cheekbones and his lips were just so pink and pretty

So you did what hee wanted being even more daring

You get up from your chair and sit on his lap, making him smile in satisfaction

Pecked his lips like he did to yours and without even giving him a chance for a deeper kiss you just tilted his head

You started to kiss his jawline and then his earlobe

"I missed you so much Heeseung" you whispered while you were still kissing his bare neck

"You did?" He said slightly pinching your thighs

"How can I make it up to you for being so busy and not being able to spend more time with you baby?" He asked in a low voice with a meaning behind it

You knew where this was going but you just wanted to let him play with you like this because you missed him and it has been a while since you touched him like this

"You can kiss me to make me forget how lonely I was" you said in a whispering tone, still kissing his neck

His grip tightened and he hold your hair to make you look at him before saying "as you wish baby"

He just licked your lips and moved on with your jawline and neck getting revenge for what you did to him

He was smelling like vanilla and adding his tongue on your neck, you were about to EXPLODE because of the sexual tension in the room

When Hee finally lifted up his head to look at you already melting under his touch, he didn't hesitate to kiss you

His lips were so soft unlike the way he is kissing you, his tongue invading your mouth, his teeth biting on your lower lip

You let out a whine when he pulled of to say "Is this the way I can make you forgive me baby?"

YES it was but you needed more ;)

"You need to try harder than that" you said with a smirk

You knew how competitive your boyfriend was and you loved it about him

With what you said he smashed his lips onto yours while lifting you up and making you sit on the dinner table

He was in between your legs and he squeezed your thighs before pulling you even closer

One of his hands were behind your back to support you and the other hand was drawing circles on your thigh

It was obvious how much Hee missed you and wanted more although he was trying hard to stay in control

He laid you down on the table

"Stay still" He said with a low voice

When he get down in between your tighs you were about to scream and out of reflex you tried to close your legs

He hold your thighs to let them stay spread open and raised his head to talk to you

"Relax baby, I won't do anything you don't want me to remember?" He said with a reassuring voice

He was kissing your inner thighs using his freaking tongue to tease you more with the wetness he left everywhere his lips touched

His hands were drawing small circles on your outer thighs but nothing was able to calm you down

HE WAS DOWN THERE AND YOU JUST WERE SO NERVOUS

"Heeseung.."

"Mmh?"

You were shaking bc of how nervous you are and he realized that

"Let me calm you down please y/n" he said looking at you with his doe eyes

"Just trust me, I won't go too far I promise" he said eyes literally begging

You pushed his head back to its older position, between your thighs

He carried on from where he left off, moving upper on your thigh and his little kisses and bites got more harsher during the process

You just let out a small moan when he bite on your thigh, sucking the flesh and then leaving wet kisses

Your brain wasn't working at the moment because of him and he lift his head up with a satisfied smile on his face

He lifted you up on the table carrying you to his bedroom

He slowly put you on the sheets and gave you a small kiss on the lips

You pulled him onto the bed kissing him harshly unlike him and that made him smile into the kiss

You dig your nails into his back under his shirt slightly and that made him bite your lower lip

He pulled of and hold your hands on top of your head without letting you move

"Stop teasing me y/n"

"Thank God I'm tired and I can't do more to you Hee"

"Is that a promise baby?"

"Promise?"

"Will you tease me better next time?" Hee said leaving a wet kiss your lips

It made you lift your hips unconsciously, which made him moan

"I swear to God y/n-"

"Yes Heeseung i will tease you better next time" you said, now you were the one who was smirking

You both were tired so you knew he was going easy on you, he released your hands and kissed you softly this time while getting off of you

"You better keep your promise next time y/n"

"You want me that bad huh Heeseung?"

He got closer after your words and you started giggling

"Give me one reason to stop rn, y/n" he said while kissing you

"What if I don't?"

He lifted you from the sheets and made you sit on his lap while you're still on the bed

His hands were ready to lift your shirt up until you stopped him and hugged him tightly

"I love you so much Heeseung, I missed you a lot" you said with a soft voice

A big smile formed on his face and you could feel it while his face was buried on your neck

He let you fall next to him on the bed

"You have no idea how much I missed you y/n"

His gazed was locked on you and it didn't take him long to see how tired you were

He gave you a big "MWAH" on the cheeks "Good night baby, I love you and I'm sorry"

"Don't be sorry, I love you too, good night Heeseung"

Thank you for reading and sorry if I made any mistakes with wording, I speak English but it's not my native tongue, I hope you liked it ^^

[serendipityseulgi]

8 Ways of Love;

— park seonghwa

according to the ancient greeks, there are eight different types of love. here is:

･*:༅｡ the one known as pragma, the enduring love.

aka, the kind of love that matures and develops over a long period of time, and somewhat rare to find. 

8 ways of love series; version i

A love story that shows the progression of yours and seongwha’s relationship from the moment you two become friends, to lovers, to exes, and everything else in between. 

love catalyst: the subconscious.

At the age of six years old you declare Park Seonghwa to be your boyfriend, solidifying your “relationship” with a hug.

“Eww, y/n, you have cooties!” your best friend barks, pushing you off him.

“Wha- hey no I don’t!” you squeak.

“Yes you do because Mingi told all the boys not to touch the girls because they have a disease and it’s going to eat our bodies alive!” he practically screeches getting up from the sandbox about to walk away from you.

“Seonghwaaa he’s lying!” you whine out and he huffs turning around to face you.

“Well all the other boys are listening to him so he has to be right.” 

“Well I touched you yesterday when we were playing tag and you’re fine!” you defend. “And if all girls have cooties then how come your mommy still hugs and kisses you goodbye in the morning? Wouldn’t you be dead now?”

Even at the age of 6 you were the biggest smartass Seonghwa knew.

After a moment of deliberation, he sighs. “Okay fine, you’re right.” your friend huffs. 

“So are you gonna back so we can play again?” you ask, arms crossed over your little body. 

Seonghwa nods before grabbing onto your hand to drag you back into the sandbox. 

The two of you return to making your sandcastle and it’s only a mere two minutes later does your friend speak up.“Am I actually your boyfriend now?” he asks suddenly and you whip your head towards him.

“Well I hugged you so yeah.” you roll your eyes at him and his soft little laugh makes your tiny heart jump.

Within the next week you two forget you’re “boyfriend-and-girlfriend” and go back to being the best friends you’ve always been, playing in the sandbox after school, watching cartoons at your house, and never missing a single dinner together while your parents listen to the two of you talk your little heads off.

For the record, there wasn’t much of a difference in your so-called relationship and your friendship in the first place when you were just six years old.

 At thirteen years old, your best friend confesses he likes you.

“Okay I know this is weird because, I should see you as like, a sister or something, I don’t know!” Seonghwa rants, pacing back and forth in your bedroom as you watch him frantically explain the way he feels about you.

“You know what I mean though? You’re like, practically family to me! Right? Right...” you figure he’s talking more to himself than to you as he asks himself questions that he’s quick to answer to. “Like you’re probably gonna think I’m weird or something, but you are my best friend and I don’t want it to be weird-”

“Seonghwa for the love of god can you just get to your point.” you interrupt impatiently.

“I like you okay?” he says quietly, avoiding all eye contact with you. 

His heart is beating so fast he feels like it’s actually going to rip right through his chest. He’s never been nervous around you ever. You’re his best friend, and you have been since you were 5 years old, and he doesn’t know why he suddenly feels like you’re the only girl he wants in his life. 

When he hears you laughing at him his heart drops to his stomach and he braces himself for the upcoming rejection.

“Can you come sit next to me.” you ask, gesturing to the empty spot on your bed. 

Seonghwa complies, yet his anxiety is rising by the second. He has never been so nervous in all the thirteen years he’s been alive. He almost wants to vomit as his stomach churns at the thought of you telling him you didn’t feel the same way.

“You’re rejecting me aren’t you...” he sighs, plopping down onto the spot next to you.

You shake your head with a smile. “No idiot, I like you too. Obviously.” you roll your eyes at him.

“Wait, what? Seriously??” he almost goes into shock. “Are you joking?”

“I mean, I thought it was pretty obvious.” you shrug. “I was throwing subtle signs at you for the longest time.”

“Like what?!” 

“Like the time I kept pestering you to take me to the Valentine’s Day dance, and when I made you hold my hand during that scary movie when you know I never get scared of horror films. Oh, and the time you kept badgering me about why I rejected Hongjoong for no good reason. I kept telling you that you were the only guy I needed in my life and you were too oblivious to realize I didn’t mean it in the friend way anymore.” you chuckle.

“Oh... Oh,” Seonghwa realizes. “I really am oblivious then.”

“It’s okay, I already knew you liked me back anyways.” you smirk at him, grabbing your remote off the bedside table.

You flip the TV on as you feel Seonghwa’s heavy gaze on you. “So does this mean you’re my girlfriend?” he asks you and you pause.

“I mean technically we never broke up when we were six so you’re basically just re-asking me out.” you tease, pulling the blankets on both your bodies as you settle on a show to watch.

“Oh god, you still remember that?” 

Of course you do. 

“Obviously, how could I forget you screaming to the entire park that I had cooties.” 

He laughs at that and you can’t help but smile widely hearing him. You both lay comfortably next to one another, watching intently at the show in front of you, yet both your minds were racing at the fact that officially, you could say you were boyfriend and girlfriend. 

“So when did you start liking me?” he asks you. 

“Honestly, I think I always did.” you answer truthfully. “But, like actually realizing my feelings for you?” you pause for a moment to think. “I think it was when you got really sick that one time and your parents were away for a business trip, and my mom made me drop off soup to your house. And I was only supposed to drop off the soup but I took care of you because even when you were all snotty and gross and barely awake to hang out with me, I kinda just realized I’d rather spend my time with you doing that than anywhere else.”

His eyes soften at you. “Aww.”

“Buuut then before that, there was also that time that Ashley told you she liked you and I got super jealous and I was actually going to shove her into a brick wall, so ...I kinda just figured...” you add.

“Way to ruin a sappy moment, moron.” Seonghwa playfully shoves you and you laugh. 

You cuddle up next to him returning your attention back to the show in front of you. Only a few minutes pass before Seonghwa speaks up again, and his question catches you off guard.

“What if we break up... like eventually?” 

You think about it for a second. “Then we go back to being best friends.”

“That easy?”

“That easy.” you nod. 

“For the record though, I don’t ever want there to be a time where I don’t like you. I hope there isn’t.” he says.

“I hope there isn’t either.” you assure, and just like that, you two go back to watching tv.

You’ve always had a soft spot for Seonghwa so it never came as a surprise to you, or anybody for that matter when you figured out you had a little crush on your best friend. 

In a hypothetical situation, if somewhere along the way your feelings ever started to fade, you still couldn’t picture a life where he wasn’t right beside you no matter what. He was your person, and he has been since you two were five. There was nobody in this world that could replace the bond you had with him.

Even at the age of thirteen, you knew you wanted Seonghwa to be there for the rest of your life.

At the age of fourteen and a half, you and Seonghwa have your first ever fight where he conveniently declares that he loves you for the first time. 

seonghwa <3; received 4:24 pm

y/n can u not be like this and talk to me :( 

plsssssss

i’m sorry

can u let me come over and talk to u

Your phone continues to buzz as you stare at it beside you, rolling your eyes at his insistent messaging.

You try your best to ignore it but the continuous beeping irritates you to no end.

you; delivered 4:26 pm

no

i’m mad at u.

seonghwa <3; received 4:26 pm

:(

you; delivered 4:27 pm

can u like do smth with ur life instead of bothering me

seonghwa <3; received 4:27 pm

ouch.

Okay, you admit. That one was a low blow and for a second you almost feel bad until you’re reminded of the fact that you were still royally pissed at him.

you; delivered 4:28 pm

ur actually annoying

seonghwa <3; received 4:28 pm

ya ik i am

but yk what i’m not

someone who is going to do nothing about their gf being mad at them

so open ur window bc im climbing up so i can apologize

stop being a meanie and let me say sorry

Despite how mad you still are, your heart can’t help but skip a beat reading his messages. No matter how hard you wanted to stay angry at him and tell him to go away, you knew you wouldn’t be able to resist him even if you tried. Seonghwa was charming like that, always managing to sweet talk you in every way. 

You crack open your window and see his tuft of black hair climbing up your ladder. As he hops into your bedroom you fold your arms across your chest, not daring to say a word to him until he speaks first.

“Look, I’m sorry for being an ass earlier.” Seonghwa apologizes, and all you do is look at him. He sighs before continuing. “I was just having a bad day and took it out on you and I shouldn’t have blown up on you during class. I get it. Dick move.”

“But then you had to go and talk to Ashley about it?” you added. “That was like the worst part of it! Do you trust her more than me or something?”

“What? No! Of course not!” he panics. 

“You, and everyone else and their mother knows she’s like obsessed with you!” you shout in frustration. “She’s liked you for so long, do you know how stupid you made me look running off to her knowing how she feels about you?!”

“That wasn’t my intention-”

“Were you trying to make me mad?”

“No, y/n.”

“Did you do it to make me jealous?”

“No!”

“So why Seonghwa, did you have to go and vent to her after you yelled at me in front of everyone when all I did was try to help?”

“I don’t know, okay!”

“I just don’t understand why me of all people you had to take it out on. When all i’ve literally done for you for like the last ten freaking years of us being friends was listen to you when you had a bad day or try to cheer you up when you were down! Never once when I was feeling crappy did I take that out on you. Never.” you explain with a heavy sigh. 

“I’m sorry.” he doesn’t know what else to say because he knows he’s in the wrong. 

“Do you like her or something?” your voice is quiet and the hurt is evident. “Cause if you do just tell me.”

Seonghwa is quick to shut you down as he pulls you into his arms.

“No, no, no. Y/n, I don’t like her. I don’t. Please believe me.” he begs. “Look, I don’t know why I went to her when I should’ve gone to you. I couldn’t even begin to explain what was going through my head at that point because I don���t know. But I love you, okay? I would never, ever like Ashley.”

Your eyes widen and you pull away from him. “W-what did you just say?”

“I... um...” Seonghwa starts to fumble over his words because he didn’t exactly intend to tell you, but it sort of just came out and now he’s starting to panic.

“Do you mean it?” you ask.

He just nods, a little embarrassed at his sudden declaration.

“I love you too.” you say softly, and he relaxes.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

"I’m really sorry, y/n.” he pulls you close to him, burying his face into your hair as he hugs you tightly.

“I’m sorry too.” you murmur against him.

“I hate fighting with you.” he mumbles.

“Me too.”

“I promise I’ll never take my anger out on you again. And I’ll never talk to Ashley again. And I’ll literally do whatever you want me to if it means you won’t stay mad at me because I don’t like it when you’re mad at me, and I hate making you sad.” he rambles and you let out a small chuckle.

“Just come lay down and watch Friends with me.”

“Okay.”

And you ultimately forget that you’re mad at Seonghwa because you decide that you can’t really stay mad at him after he tells you that he loves you. And although all is forgiven, he still decides to grovel for the next week as a reassurance that he really meant his apology.

So at fourteen years old, you have your first, and last fight with him.

At the age of sixteen, you celebrate your three year anniversary with Seonghwa, and decide you were ready to lose your virginity to him.

“Okay I know you said that the expensive dinner date was enough of a present for you, but you know me and always overdoing it....” he says behind you as you hear the crinkling of a bag behind you.

“Seonghwa...”

“Trust me, babe. You’re gonna love it.” he assures as he walks over to you.

Your eyes instantly fall onto the small red velvet box in his hands and your mouth falls open.

“This was expensive wasn’t it?” you pry and he shrugs.

“Maybe, but I was saving up for it for a while now.” he responds, sitting next to you as he hands you the box.

“I always feel bad every time you spend money on me.” you sigh as your fingers smooth over the velvet.

“I know but it was worth it, trust me. Open it.” Seonghwa urges.

You pull apart the bow and lift up the lid, your eyes widening in awe at the shiny ring placed inside. You lift it out gently noticing the small engraving on the inner part of the band, with both your initials and a small ‘i love you 4ever’ written underneath.

“Oh my god,” you utter. “I love it.” you place the ring on your finger.

“Good because I have a matching one too.” your boyfriend grins at you as he pulls out another box lined with a silver band with that very same engraving. 

You pull him in for a hug as he wraps his arms around you instinctively and all you can feel right now is an overload of gratitude for him. 

“I actually love you so much.” you say, pulling his face towards you to press soft kisses all over his face.

“Yeah, I know I’m the best,” Seongwha chuckles. “But I love you too baby.”

Your lips mould together perfectly, the kiss slow and soft at first. His hands wrap around your waist and your mouth moves gently against his. But soon enough you’re clinging to him and his body is pressed against yours, the kiss growing more needy and intense.

You knew when things started to get heavy he would stop the both of you from going further, never wanting to push you to discomfort. The furthest you had gone with one another was only third base, but it never went further than that and Seonghwa always left that decision up to you if you wanted to take it there.

You figure if you don’t speak up now, he was going to cut this short, so it’s only then at this very moment do you decide you wanted him to be your first.

“Do you want to have sex?” you blurt out suddenly and you swear you’ve never seen your boyfriend’s eyes go so wide before. 

He opens his mouth to speak but he can’t seem to find the right words to say. “I- um, wait, are you being for real?” he stutters. “I mean, I do want to, but, are you sure you want to?” he asks, still in disbelief from your question.

“Shit, sorry I know that was really sudden to ask, but I do want to.” you assure. “But only if you want to.”

“Of course I want to.” his eyes soften, and his hand finds yours in an instant delivering a comforting squeeze.

“Okay so come here and kiss me again please.” you say quietly.

And just like that, Seongwha’s soft lips land on yours once more. Without breaking apart he gently guides you to the head of his bed, laying you down underneath him as your bodies press up against each other.

You swear you can kiss Seongwha for hours and never grow tired of the feeling. You get drunk off his kisses, unable to think of anything else but him. It’s dizzying really, but you love it. You find that off all the things you love about him its his lips, and how impossibly soft they are and how familiar they feel against your own. How much comfort it would bring you, and how all you had to when you had a bad day was just kiss your boyfriend for however long he let you.

It felt like home.

His lips trailed lower to your neck, littering soft pecks across your skin. Quiet noises escape your lips and Seongwha can’t help but grind against your lower half. His hands travel across your body and the ache between your legs grows by the second, and the only thing you can think of is how much you love him, and need him.

Your mind kind of blurs because the next second you find yourself both naked and he’s fiddling in his drawer to find what you assumed to be a condom. He notices your curious stare as he opens his mouth to speak. “M-my dad told me to keep these in here,” Seongwha stutters. “He said to be prepared in case the time comes, and well, here’s the time I guess.” he laughs lightheartedly and the very sound makes your heart swell. 

“Nice call on Papa Park I guess,” you joke and Seongwha chuckles.

He climbs over you and delivers another peck to your swollen lips. “Okay, no more mention of my dad please when I’m about to put my penis in you.”

“Sorry, sorry.” you chuckle nervously as your boyfriend pulls you in for another kiss. 

"Okay, if it hurts tell me to stop and I will, alright?” his eyes stare deeply into your own.

You nod at him with a small smile, admiring what little of his face you could see in the darkness of his room. “I will, don’t worry.”

“Okay.” he sighs, positioning himself in front of you. “I love you.” he whispers against your lips. 

“I love you more, baby.” you say to him before you feel him push himself inside you. You gasp at the feeling and he stills in his spot to let you adjust. 

And once you signal that it’s okay for him to move, he does at a slow pace, and you gasp at the intense pleasure. Even though the pain has subsided his thrusts are still slow and controlled, and you don’t know if it’s because he’s afraid to hurt you, or if he just wants to revel in the feeling of you around him. Either way your heart fills with love for this one boy. 

“I love you so much, you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, you  know that?” he whispers in your ear and your eyes shut at his words and the newfound feeling you would grow to love. “and thank you for trusting me right now...” his breathing grows heavy. “because I would do anything for you, and I just want you to know that, okay?”

You almost feel like you could cry because above all the pleasure that you’re experiencing right now, his words feel different, more intimate, and all the more meaningful to you. 

And you believe every word he says because you know he truly means it.

“I would do anything for you too.” you repeat his words back to him and he buries his face into your neck as he continues to thrust into you. 

So at sixteen years old, you have your first time with the love of your life. And you tell yourself that no matter what happens between the both of you, you were never going to regret giving that part of yourself to him. 

At the age of eighteen years old, you do the unthinkable.

You decide after a long and heavy conversation, you two were going to break up. You were both set to leave town to pursue your studies at your dream schools, and you felt that parting ways at this point was the better option.

While you two could figure out a way to make things work while half way across the world from each other, you had to take into account all the factors that would drive you two apart. The time difference, the long distance, the fact that you were inevitably going to meet new people, and that you simply did not want to hold each other back from experiencing a life without one another. 

Because all you’ve known almost your entire life was being with Seonghwa, and him with you. You knew it was only fair to give each other the chance to explore something new, and now was that time.

It wasn’t an easy decision by any means, and although it was an amicable split, you’ve never felt the pain of a broken heart before. It hurt really bad.

Your friends and family decide to throw you both one last goodbye party, wanting to celebrate this special milestone with you. And of course there was no way you and Seonghwa could pass up the last good night you two would have together as a couple.

The party was fun at first. The dancing, the singing, the laughing, and the endless exchange of pictures as you guys shared the last few memories you would have as high school graduates. 

But as the night started to creep in, you both realized that in less than 24 hours, you two would no longer be attached to one another like you had been for the last thirteen years. And after five years as a couple, you still couldn’t believe that your relationship would come to an end, just like that.

You hear the faint music in the background of your house, as you and Seonghwa sit in your backyard, gazing up at the stars.

“This fucking sucks.” Seonghwa sighs, resting his head on your shoulder as you lean your head on top of his. 

“I know.” your throat burns, suppressing the urge to cry. 

“I just didn’t expect this day to come. I never thought we would actually break up with each other.” he admits, and you nod your head in agreement. 

You grab onto his hand rubbing comforting circles onto his skin, and you feel Seonghwa’s body start to shake next to you. You don’t want to look at him because you know if you see him cry, you’ll cry too.

You close your eyes trying to control your heavy breathing and the quivering of your lips. Your eyes are watering but you refuse to let your tears slip, and your heart hurts like it’s never hurt before, and you don’t know if the pain will ever go away.

“Seonghwa I really love you.” your voice breaks and you finally let the tears fall.

“I know, baby.” the pet name has always affected you, but now more than ever it tugs at your heart strings in a bittersweet way. “I really, really love you too. Always.”

“You know you’re the love of my life right? You’re always going to be.” you state and he delivers a squeeze to your hand in acknowledgement.

“And you’ll always be mine.” he answers back. “You’re my best friend in the whole world and the last five years with you as my girlfriend will forever be the greatest five years of my life. I will always stand by the fact that you are the best thing to ever happen to me.”

As you stare at one another with teary eyes, he knows you’re saying the same exact words to him. He doesn’t need to hear you say it, nor does he expect you to. Your eyes say more than enough to him.

You look down at the rose gold band around your finger and you realize how long you’ve kept it on, never once taking it off since that day Seonghwa gave it to you. “Do you want your ring back?” you utter, your eyes watering once more.

Seonghwa shakes his head. “Please keep it. Because I still mean it. And I always will. I’m gonna love you forever, y/n. Even if you decide to take it off, if that’s the last reminder you have of how much I love you, then please keep it.”

Your heart is hurting, and the tears seem never ending as they continue to fall down your cheeks. “I don’t want to leave you Seonghwa.” a sob escapes from your lips, and Seonghwa squeezes your hand again.

“I know, baby but you have to. You’re going to the school you’ve dreamed of going to since you were in the fourth grade. You’re going to accomplish so much and a build a great life for yourself, y/n. And even though I won’t be physically with you, I’m always going to support you every step of the way.” he assures.

You knew in a perfect world you two didn’t have to break up. But long distance was a bitch, and you moving across the world was never going to be easy on him. You couldn’t force each other to wait for the other. Not when the both of you had to start a whole new life separately. You had to let each other go.

You turn to face him, your teary eyes staring into his own. “I’ll always support you too, okay? No matter what. I want you to make the most of your time in Seoul, study hard, surround yourself with good people and have the most fun you’ve ever had. You’re gonna make so many friends and pursue the career you’ve always wanted and experience new things that you’ve never done before. And most of all, you’re going to meet a girl and love her just as much as you loved me. And you’re gonna fall in love all over again, and just be happy. Just promise me that you will make the most of your time over there and live your life to the fullest. Don’t look back, don’t wait for me. Just live until I get to see you again.” your voice breaks. “And if somehow we find our way back to one another, then just know everything we did up to that point was worth it.”

Seonghwa lets out a sob and nods. “I promise.” his voice breaks and you pull him in for your last goodbye kiss.

At nineteen, you visit your hometown for Christmas, which was the first time you’d be back in a year and a half. 

Having missed out on the chance to visit last year with your busy schedule, you made sure not to pass up the chance to see your family and friends. The more you grew accustomed to your new home you managed to find a good balance between school, work, and your personal life, so you found that this year was finally a good time to return back for a visit.

And there was no better time to come home than for Christmas day.

“Yeah, just landed at our layover and waiting for the next flight.” you say to your mother over Facetime.

“That’s great honey, I’m so excited to see you.” she smiles at you and you return the gesture. 

“I missed you mom.” you say.

“And I missed you even more.” 

You two continue conversing amongst one another, as she filled you in on all things you missed while you were gone before a voice interrupts your conversation.

“Hey babe, here.” Juyeon says, handing you a coffee as he presses a small kiss to your forehead.

“Oh thank you.” you murmur with a small smile as your boyfriend sits down next to you.

“Oh hey miss y/l/n!” Juyeon greets seeing your mom’s face plastered on your screen.

“Juyeon!” she squeals excitedly. “I can’t wait to finally meet you in person instead of over video chat. It was about damn time.” she states and you and your boyfriend chuckle. You hand him your phone allowing them to talk with one another and you smile fondly at the newfound bond between Juyeon and your mother.

“I know, I can’t wait to meet all of you guys too! I know y/n’s been really excited, it was all she could talk about for the last three weeks.” he teases. “And she says you make really good pie so i am definitely looking forward to that.”

“That is such an understatement, I make the best pie.” she scoffs. “And I made one specifically for you.” your mother beams.

After a few minutes of playful banter exchanged, Juyeon hands your phone back to you. “I’m gonna go to the bathroom before we board, I’ll be back.” he excuses himself and you nod in acknowledgement. 

“Oh y/n, I just thought I should mention Seonghwa and his family are coming over for Christmas dinner as well.” your mom says and the sheer mention of his name as your heart beating in your chest.

“Oh he’s back in town too?” you ask casually and she nods.

“Yup, he’s also bringing his girlfriend.” she adds.

“That’s great, I’m really happy for him.” you say with a smile.

And you meant it, truly. 

You knew of his girlfriend from the few photos he posted of her on instagram, and he seemed genuinely happy. Aside from his newfound love, he was clearly enjoying his time in Seoul like you had hoped, and it was everything you wished for him. 

You two hadn’t really spoken over the last year, and it wasn’t really on purpose, you two just kind of drifted, as expected. You two were starting fresh in an unfamiliar place, and you both were finding your way around your new homes. You two were also preoccupied with school, and meeting new people so it was sort of inevitably really that you two grew apart. Of course there were the few times you two would chat, but it never lasted long due to time differences and busy schedules. 

Although you missed him immensely, you were beyond happy for the life he started for himself, and you knew he was happy for you too. He did exactly what he promised you the last night you spent together, and that was enough to make you happy.

“Flight 219 now boarding.” the announcer calls and Juyeon meets you right on time.

“Okay mom, that’s us. I’ll see you in a few hours, bye, love you.” you bid your farewell before hanging up, and Juyeon grabs your hand leading you to the gate.

“Ready to go home?” he smiles at you, and you beam excitedly, nodding your head.

As the days pass leading up to Christmas, you spend all of your of time with your family and friends, using every second to catch up with your loved ones. You find that Juyeon is adapting well to your home life, bonding with your father and making your mother love him even more than she already did. You introduce him to your childhood friends and he instantly wins over Mingi, Hongjoong, Yunho and Jennie. You admire how much of an effort he put into forming a friendship with them because he knew how much it meant to you.

You were thankful really, to find a guy who was almost perfect for you.

But still, in the back of your mind, even though you loved Juyeon beyond belief, you knew Seonghwa would always have that special place in your heart.

On the day of Christmas, you and Juyeon set the table as you await the Park’s arrival. You were slightly nervous, obviously, given the fact that you had not seen Seonghwa in over a year and you would be meeting his girlfriend. Although you were happy for him, you still felt anxious to see him and her, and you could only hope that she was good for him, because he deserved that much. 

Only a few moments later do you hear a knock at your door and your mother walks over to greet your longtime neighbours. Juyeon stands next to you as he wraps an arm around your waist comfortingly and you relax against him. 

You see Mrs. Park first as she walks inside, giving your mother a friendly hug. Mr. Park follows suit as he greets your mother and your father with a wide smile on his face.

And then you see him.

His hair is slightly darker and he does look a little older. But other than that his face is so familiar to you and your heart beats wildly in your chest as the two of you make eye contact. His face softens when he sees you and you deliver a small wave to him as he smiles. His girlfriend trails behind him and you take notice of how beautiful she was. You smile at her too and she returns the gesture and your heart kind of warms seeing how shy she is because you always kind of knew Seonghwa would pick someone similar to him.

“Oh my y/n, how long has it been!” Mrs. Park calls towards you and you hug her tightly. 

“I missed you!” you say to her and her arms wrap tighter around you.

“I missed you too, darling. And you look even more beautiful than the last time I saw you!” she compliments. “And who is this handsome man?”

“This is Juyeon, he’s my boyfriend.” you smile, and Juyeon shakes her hand.

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Park. Y/n’s talked a lot about your family.” he says politely.

“Y/n’s picked a good one, I see.” she winks playfully as you notice Seonghwa and his girlfriend make their way towards you two.

“Hey y/n, long time no see.” Seonghwa says and you almost melt at the sound of his voice. He pulls you in for a hug and you notice how he still wears the same cologne that you had bought him all those years ago.

“Yeah, it’s good to see you again.” you smile at him, and although it had been well over a year since you two last saw each other, there was no hint of awkwardness, just nostalgia.

“Oh, this is Juyeon.” you introduce and Seonghwa delivers a warm smile to your boyfriend, shaking his hand respectfully.

“Nice to meet you.” Juyeon smiles.

“It’s nice to meet you too, I’m Seonghwa. Y/n’s... childhood friend.” he decides to say.

“I know she’s mentioned you a lot in her stories.” your boyfriend acknowledges. “From all the things she told me you were one of the people I was looking forward to meet the most. You seemed really great to her.”

“I could only hope so. She was my best friend after all.” Seonghwa glances at you, and you know there’s a deeper meaning behind his words. “And you seem like a really great guy, so I’m glad she has good people in her life.” Seonghwa returns and you find it heartwarming how well their exchange is going.

You look at the girl beside your ex and she’s staring at you with gentle, curious eyes. “Hi, I’m y/n.” you smile at her, extending your hand out for her to shake.

“Rosé,” she beams at you and you don’t even really know her but there was something about her that assured you she was good fit for Seonghwa. “I heard a lot about you as well, Hwa’s always talking about his life back home so I’m really glad I got to meet his best friend. You were really special to him.”

You smile softly. “I’m glad I got to meet you too.” you say.

“Okay, time for dinner everyone!” your father announces and you all take a seat at the table, passing over plates of food and catching up with one another.

“So Seonghwa, how’s Seoul treating you?” your mother asks as everyone turns their attention towards him.

“Uh really good actually,” he responds. “I joined a band actually! Uh, I became friends with these really nice guys. San and Yeosang. They basically recruited me after they found out I could sing and now we play at this local bar every week on Friday’s and Saturday’s. It was really good for me, I think. It helped with my stress and stuff. And that’s actually where I met Rosé.”

“That’s amazing.” your mother comments with a warm smile.

“Yeah he was really shy at first but San kind of forced him to talk to me which I was really thankful for because I was eyeing him for a while and was too shy myself to approach him.” Rosé says. “I still remember the night he asked for my number and he was stumbling over his words and I swear he looked like he was going to pass out.” she chuckles, and everyone at the table laughs along with her.

“Oh my god I know what you mean, he also cracks his fingers a lot and starts to turn really purple when he’s nervous.” you add and Rosé points at you nodding in agreement.

“Yes! I notice that all the time!” she laughs, and you can’t help but laugh with her.

“Trust me, I have the most embarrassing stories of him when we were kids.” you say.

“Oh god, you have to tell me all of them.” Rosé giggles.

“Obviously, we have the whole night for that.” you wink at her, and you realize how easy and natural it was to talk to her, and that confirmed that you indeed really liked her. 

Seonghwa watches the exchange between you both, and as you two make eye contact with each other, a small smile appears on his face as you nod at him, silently approving of the girl he chose to bring home for this special day. His heart grows full seeing how well the two of you got along, and he’s forever grateful at how amazing of a person you were that you were so willingly to form a friendship with his new girlfriend.

Although he loved Rosé dearly, there was still a piece of his heart where he’d always love you. And that piece grows a little more when he realizes how you continue to support him, even through this unconventional situation. 

Seonghwa decides he’s going to do the same for you, because just like you were happy for him, he was happy for you too. 

Of course he was glad you found someone who could put a smile on your face like he once did, and he knows that for you to have willingly dated Juyeon, he had to have been just as great as you were. You always had the best judgement of people.

“So Juyeon, how’d you and y/n meet?” Seonghwa asks genuinely and he notices the way his face lights up at the mention of your name.

“We had a lot of mutual friends and they introduced us. It’s funny actually, I could tell y/n didn’t even really like me that much at first, she was always so disinterested when I would try and talk to her.” Juyeon laughs.

“Probably stressing too much about trivial things.” Seonghwa chuckles.

“Yeah she does that a lot, so overly anxious all the time” Juyeon notes, and Seonghwa agrees. 

“Hey,” you interrupt and Juyeon apologizes.

“Sorry babe,” he chuckles. "but yeah, I finally sweet talked my way to get her to go out on a coffee date with me and then the next day she asked to go out for lunch after our lecture. We kind of just ended up hanging out more often and well, the rest is history I guess.”

“That’s great, I’m really glad she found someone that makes her happy.” Seonghwa smiles, and you feel a sense of gratitude towards him.

The rest of the night your families converse with one another and share a few drinks, as you and Seonghwa share old stories with Juyeon and Rosé. If you told yourself three years ago that you would be sitting by the fireplace on Christmas day with you and Seonghwa as exes exchanging stories with your new lovers, you would’ve never believed it. 

But you don’t think it’s a bad thing at all. In fact you’re immensely grateful that despite not being as close to Seonghwa anymore, you were able to see each other grow and adapt with your new lives. A life where you made new friends and made new memories. Where you tried things you’ve never tried before, and explored new places. And where you could love other people and still be so insanely happy for one another. 

This was a good thing.

At one point during the night the two of you find yourselves alone, a comfortable silence filling the room as you stared at the fire in front of you, basking in its warmth.

“I missed you.” Seonghwa is the first to break the silence.

“I missed you too.” you return. “And I’m really happy for you, you know?” 

“I’m really happy for you too, y/n.” Seonghwa smiles at you. “And I really like Juyeon. He seems really great, and he makes you happy, I can see it. That’s all I ever wanted for you.”

You hum in acknowledgement. “And I think Rosé is amazing. She’s perfect for you. And I’m forever grateful that you two have each other. I know we’ve drifted over the last year, but you’re still my best friend in the whole world. And even though I don’t say it often, or even out loud, I’m supporting you through everything. As long as it makes you happy that’s all I care about.”

His heart warms at your statement and he locks eyes with you. “And you know I’m always supporting you too. Seeing you happy and thriving is the best thing that’s ever happened to you. It’s all I want for you.” he states.

Neither of you have to say it, but you know this is your unspoken way of saying that you both still loved each other greatly. You still stood by the fact that Seonghwa was, and always would be the most important person in your life, and you in his. Seeing one another content and happy despite not having each other around anymore, was the one thing that mattered to you both. The maturity and support you continued to show was only because of the immense love you have, and have always had for one another. 

The kind of love that lets you give up the person you love the most so they can have a better life without you. 

And the kind of love that’s okay with it.

At twenty-one years old, you and Seonghwa meet again.

It’s during one of your breaks where you find yourself extremely homesick. You don’t even give your family a heads up until you’re outside your childhood home knocking at your door.

It was an impulsive decision but it’s not like you were currently in school. You had the time and the money, and you missed your hometown so incredibly bad that it only took you one second to make that decision to come back.

“Coming, one second!” you hear a male voice call behind the door and your eyebrows furrow in confusion.

“Well, that’s is definitely not my mom, or dad.” you say to yourself. “Did they move out without telling me or something-” your internal conversation is cut short as the door swings open and you’re greeted by an unexpected figure.

“Y/n?” the boy says in surprise.

“Seonghwa??” you say even more confused. 

“Who’s at the door Seonghwa?” now that’s your mother’s voice you hear and she gasps as she walks over to the door. “Y/n! Oh my god why didn’t you tell me you were coming back?!” she pulls you into her arms.

“Surprise.” you chuckle. “I kind of sort of felt really homesick and impulsively bought a plane ticket last night so I could fly back so... here I am.”

“Well come settle in! Seonghwa was just helping with some renovations in the house but I’ll let you two catch up.” your mother grabs your luggage, carrying it up to your bedroom. “Go grab a coffee or something!” she yells upstairs.

You look over to Seonghwa and he shrugs. “Let’s go then.” he smiles and your heart swells.

The two of you walk comfortably beside one another as you take in the scenery around you, missing the familiar place you once called home. 

“I didn’t know you were back in town too.” you say after a few moments of silence.

“Yeah, it was pretty impulsive too actually.” he admits as he looks at you. 

“What was your reason?” you ask curiously.

“Break up.” he states and your mouth falls open.

“Wait, you and Rosé...” 

He nods. “Yeah, things just kinda, fizzled out. You know, we grew apart, wanted different things, came to a point where we were in different stages in our life.”

“Oh wow.” is all you say. “I’m sorry to hear, she was really sweet. I really liked her.”

“Yeah, she was,” Seonghwa sighs. “I mean, we ended on good terms. We’re still friends, actually. I don’t even think I’m necessarily sad about it to be honest, it’s just different, you know? Like I know we weren’t even dating for that long, like two and a half years at most. But I just got so used to being around her and spending so much time with her, and then things just weren’t really the same after a while. It just felt odd not having someone. And being alone made me miss everything I had here so I came back.”

You nod your head in understanding. “Yeah, I totally get what you mean.”

Seonghwa raises his eyebrow at you. “You mean... you and Juyeon too?”

“Mhm,” you hum. “I think for us we just realized we were better off as friends than as a couple, you know? Like after a while the attraction kind of went away and we were only really together because it was comfortable. And we didn’t want to stay together if we weren’t in love anymore, it wouldn’t have made sense. The break up was easy and it felt right when we ended things, I kind of wish it happened sooner but, I was still thankful for the time we spent together. He is still one of my best friends so I’m grateful for that at least.”

“That’s good.” he smiles softly. 

“Hey at least we both can confidently say we have a track record of smooth break ups, right?” you joke lightheartedly.

“Thank god for that.” Seonghwa says with a laugh.

When you two enter the coffee shop you’re once again hit with a feeling of nostalgia as you think of all the times you, Seonghwa, and your friends would spend most days after school, drinking hot chocolate and eating pastries together as you all talked for hours and hours.

“I’ll get our usuals, you can wait by our spot.” Seonghwa offers, and you nod making your way towards your designated table. 

The moment you sit down you’re hit with a wave of flashbacks you shared in this very space, and a small smile creeps onto your face as you look back on all the old memories. 

After your brief moment of reminiscing, Seongwha sits across from you handing over your cup. 

“Sometimes you don’t realize how much you miss home until you’re actually back in all the places you grew up in,” you note as you take notice of the small engraving in the corner of the table marked with yours and all your friends’ initials. Your fingers ghost over the mark and when you look up at Seongwha you see that he’s also eyeing the engraving. 

“I remember when we put that there,” he recalls with a smile. “After five years of coming here and sitting at this same exact table with our friends we claimed our ownership by putting that stupid engraving that took us forever to do. As if that stopped people from sitting here anyways.” you both chuckled.

“Well at least Jennie and Hongjoong were brave enough to kick out the people who stole our spot.” you laugh.

“Yeah,” Seonghwa smiles fondly at the memory. “I still remember the days where Mingi and Yunho would bet the barista on how many butter croissants they could eat in one sitting so we could all get a supply of free hot chocolate for a year.”

“And it was only after Mingi threw up everywhere that it turned out all we had to do was ask her, and she would’ve done it anyways because we were regulars here.” you finish with a soft chuckle.

A comfortable silence fills the air as you two reminisce on the old memories of your teenage years.

“Can I ask you something?” Seonghwa says.

“Of course.”

“When you finish university,” he starts. “What are you gonna do afterwards? Like do you plan on living abroad permanently? Or are you gonna come back home?”

You pause for a second. “Honestly, after the first year there, I fell in love with the city. And I truly was planning on starting my life there and making that my permanent home, ‘cause I had Juyeon, and I had my new friends, I had jobs lined up for me after graduation, and just an overall great home.” you say. “But after splitting up with him, and sitting with the fact that I was constantly homesick, I kinda realized that this is my home, you know? Like, no matter how much I loved my new friends, and loved the city, it would never be as special to me as here. Nothing over there compared to everything I have here. And I knew you were gonna come back from Seoul after graduation, and Jennie and Yunho were gonna come back from New Zealand too. And Mingi and Hongjoong, and the rest of them were all still here... I didn’t want to be the only one gone. All my real friends are here, my family’s here... you’re here. I didn’t want to leave that all behind.” you exclaim and Seonghwa’s face softens.

“I’m really glad honestly.” he responds. “Because I missed you a lot. And it would’ve really sucked to know you weren’t gonna be here anymore when I moved back. I just really miss spending time with my best friend.”

Your heart skips a beat. “Well, you have the next two weeks to do that.” you smile up at him.

“I have an idea.” his eyes light up and you raise an eyebrow at him. “Do you wanna have a sleepover tonight? We can have a move night and order take out like the good old times.” he grins at you.

“You had me at sleepover.” you say with a smile and so he grabs your hand, pulling you towards the exit.

When Seonghwa lets you into his house you almost forget the fact that you haven’t been inside in almost three whole years. This was practically your second home and you found comfort in the fact that nothing really changed since you last saw it. Everything looked almost exactly how you remembered it, minus the new couch and dining table, and a few new paintings hung up on the walls.

“Your mom didn’t change much over the last few years.” you observe.

“Yeah, she was going to do a whole renovation like your mom, and she even planned a whole design out, but she opted out last minute. She said she wanted me to come back home to something I remembered.” Seonghwa answers. “I didn’t get why at first but it only started making sense to me the more I started visiting and realized this was like my safety net.”

“Yeah, that makes sense.” you say.

You and Seonghwa walk upstairs to his bedroom, and of course nothing changed inside either. It almost seemed like it had been untouched aside from the fresh bedsheets and clean floor. You notice the small picture frames neatly placed across his dresser table and you realize most of them are pictures with you. You pick one frame up as you remember the day so clearly. A faint smile forms on your face as your fingers ghost over the photo.

“I asked my mom to put those up again recently.” Seonghwa states from behind you. “I was gonna put more with our friends but I realized we didn’t take many with them. They were mostly just of us two. I hope you don’t think it’s weird.”

You shake your head. “No, of course not. I would never think it’s weird.” you say, placing the frame back onto his dresser.

Seonghwa tosses you one of his shirts and a pair of your old shorts that you always left at his house during your impromptu sleepovers. And suddenly you’re once again hit with a wave of nostalgia. 

“What do you wanna do?” he asks and you flop onto his bed with a deep exhale.

“Let’s just lay here for a second.” you say pulling him down next to you. “I just wanna remember everything that I missed while I was gone.” 

Seonghwa settles beside you and you can’t help your racing heart as he inches closer to you. As you lay next to one another looking up at the ceiling, your breathing relaxes and you revel in the feeling of just being so comfortable and at so at home. 

“You don’t know how much I missed this,” Seonghwa whispers next to you. “even though we haven’t seen each other in years and we don’t talk as much anymore, when I’m with you it’s like we never even left each other. Like we just pick up right where we left off. You’re the one person who’s always brought me comfort and I never feel like we have to force things with each other, no matter how much we drifted.”

You feel heat rise to your cheeks and suddenly the room feels so much warmer. Your heart beats fast and you realize how much of an effect Seonghwa still has on you after all these years.

“I think about you everyday, you know that?” you confess, turning your head to look at him. “Every time I’m out somewhere there will always be little things that remind me of you. And I think about all the places in the city I would take you, and the places I know you would love. I think about all the things you would tell me when I was feeling down, and how you would react to certain situations as if you were right there beside me the whole time. I miss you all the time.”

You both stare at one another and your eyes flicker back and forth to his lips and when you look into his own eyes you notice him doing the same. After a moment of just staring into each other’s eyes, unsure of what to do next, Seonghwa pulls you towards his face and kisses you, and the feeling absolutely overwhelms you in all the good ways.

It’s far from soft and sweet, instead heavy and messy, and so intense that your chest burns with desire. You don’t dare pull away from him even when you needed to catch your breath, because the feeling of his lips on yours after all these years intoxicates you and has you yearning for more. He’s pulling you closer to him and you feel like your body is on fire. 

Seonghwa rolls on top of you and your bodies mould perfectly with one another, as if you were both the two missing pieces of a puzzle. You can’t exactly describe the feeling but it’s overwhelming and very reminiscent and brings you back to all the times with Seonghwa that brought you so much happiness years ago. It’s a feeling you didn’t know if you would ever feel again and you missed it more than anything.

The ache between your legs becomes overwhelming and before you know it you’re begging him to touch you, and without any hesitation he does. Your bodies press tightly against each other and your desperate need for him only grows the moment he grinds down on you. 

The next thing you know, you’re both unclothed and fully exposed to one another, and you see each other in your most vulnerable states for the first time in years. When he finally pushes himself inside you the pleasure is significantly magnified as the fire inside you only intensifies at the feeling of him.

It happens quick at first but Seonghwa decides he wants to take his time with you. Like you, he didn’t know if he would ever feel you in this way again and he was going to use every second with you that he could.

You don’t know how much time has passed but by the end, you both are exhausted and sore, and panting heavily next to each other. It’s dark outside and the room is warm and even though you’re both sweaty and gross, you haven’t felt this good in a long, long time. 

“Was that okay?” Seonghwa asks, pulling your naked body into his arms.

“Yeah,” you say with a small smile. “It was perfect.”

So you lay in each other’s embrace for a while and your heart feels warm and fuzzy, bringing you an endless amount of comfort. You feel content at this very moment, and your worries are pushed to the back of your mind as you fall asleep soundly together.

It’s only at 2 o’clock in the morning do you wake up in a haze and through your fatigued confusion does your brain recall the events that took place a few hours ago. Unable to make out your surroundings in the darkness, your eyes widen not knowing if what happened earlier really happened. When you attempt to sit up you feel a pair of arms wrapped securely around your waist and your body relaxes. Soft snores escape Seonghwa’s lips and you snuggle closer to his body to feel his warmth.

It dawns on you that you still are very much in love with Seonghwa, and of course deep down you knew that you always would be. You also knew given the chance (like now) your feelings would resurface because well... they never really left in the first place.

The unknowingness of this outcome has you shifting in your spot and anxiety creeps in as you think of leaving him all over again. Because after tonight, you don’t know if you can bear the thought of parting ways with him and returning to your life abroad where you can’t tell him exactly how you feel.

You don’t realize right away that Seonghwa has woken up next to you and he only does so because of your constant shifting. It’s when he delivers a gentle squeeze to your waist do you finally take notice.

“Are you okay?” his voice his deep and tired and the sound is enough to make your heart beat fast.

“Yeah.” you reply unconvincingly, but Seonghwa has known you all his life and was also the one to date you for five whole years. He knew you better than you probably knew yourself so in an instant he could tell there was something bothering you.

“What’s on your mind?” he asks.

Your back is leaning against his chest, and you can feel his soft breathing on your neck, and instinctively he starts to rub small circles on your arm knowing that was the one thing that could calm you down.

“It’s stupid.” you say, your voice is quiet and laced with a hint of embarrassment.

“Do you regret what we did?” Seonghwa asks and you’re quick to shut down his claim.

“No! No, of course not.” you return. “It’s not that.”

“Then what is it?” 

You exhale, letting out a heavy sigh. “Seonghwa I still love you.” it’s almost inaudible to him but he knows he heard you correctly. 

He lets out a soft sigh and a smile smiles forms on his face.

“I still love you too, baby.” and when you hear him call you by the name you loved so much, you feel like you’re going to melt in his arms. “I always would remember?”

Your eyes start to water because it’s been so long since you’ve been able to say that to him, and to hear him say those same exact words back to you has a weight lifting right off your shoulders that you didn’t even know was there.

“Why’s that upsetting you?” he questions and you feel him press soft kisses to your shoulder.

“I don’t want to leave you all over again.” you admit. 

He sighs next you and attempts to pull you even closer, if that were possible.

“Well we’ll spend the rest of the time we have together and enjoy every second of it. And after graduation we’ll come back home and we’ll pick up right where we left off like we always do.” Seonghwa tries to reassure you and you shake your head, sniffling.

“That’s not what I mean...” you say. “I mean that I don’t want to go back and not be with you. I don’t want to wait out till graduation and know that we aren’t together because I don’t think I can. Not after tonight.”

It clicks in Seonghwa’s brain and he knows exactly what you mean, and so he decides now’s the time to ask you what he’s been wishing to ask you for so many years. He knows he wasn’t supposed to wait for you, but he always knew he would.

“You don’t have to then.” he states.

“I don’t?”

“Do you want to get back together?” he asks and your heart almost stops. “I mean we only broke up ‘cause of the distance right? And we both fulfilled our promises to each other that we would experience a different life and learn what it was like to not be together. We’re in our last year of uni, we’d only have to be apart for a few more months and then we’ll both be back home in no time, permanently. We would never have to be apart again.” he reasons with you.

And it did make complete sense. He was right in every way, so in truth, there really wasn’t anything stopping you from being together again. You don’t have to think much about it because the decision was already made deep down. You knew you wouldn’t hesitate to be with Seonghwa again if you had the chance, and now was that chance.

You turn to face him and even though you two can’t see each other, there’s a small smile painted on both your faces and you lean in to press a kiss to his lips. 

“Okay, let’s get back together.”

So at twenty-one years old, you and Seonghwa officially reconcile, and spend the next two weeks together like you planned, catching up on everything you did while you two were apart.

And just like he said, it was like you two never left each other.

And now, at twenty-two years old, Seonghwa pops the question.

And you finally marry him.

"Family, friends, and all loved ones. We are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Y/n and Seonghwa. We stand here to support this couple and share the joys of their love and commitment as they solidify this partnership, choosing to spend the rest of their lives together.” 

“Through this marriage you make a lifelong promise to one another to always love, respect, trust and honor each other through anything, and everything. You promise to stay committed, and loyal, and most importantly, share your dreams, your happiness, and your sorrows with each other.” 

“From today, and this moment on, you will forever be united as one.”

You stare at Seonghwa and your heart beats hard against your chest as you stand in front of him watching his eyes light up and his smile grow by the second. You feel like you’re in a dream and everything around you feels so surreal.

Your eyes scan the alter and you see your mother beside Mrs. Park, both of them clinging onto each other as tears of happiness running down their cheeks. Their smile is wide and filled with so much love and you knew this day was something the two have been waiting for, for as long as they could remember. 

You see Mingi, and Yunho, and Hongjoong, and Jennie, your best friends who witnessed every progression of your relationship with Seonghwa from the moment you two met. They’re all grinning from ear to ear and you can’t help but laugh as they silently cheer you on from the pews.

You see your dad, and Seonghwa’s dad, and both of your grandparents, and the entirety of yours and Seonghwa’s family joined together as they smile brightly at the two of you.

And then your eyes meet with Rosé and Juyeon as they mouth a “you got this!” to you and Seonghwa, delivering a thumbs up in your direction, and your heart kind of warms because even after splitting up, the friendship between you four remained and it was evident through their support on this special day.

When your eyes lock with your soon-to-be-husband his lips quirk up into a warm smile as you mouth out an “i love you.”

“Now Y/n, Seonghwa, please join hands” the officiant states.

"Do you, Park Seonghwa take Y/N Y/L/N to be your wife?” 

“I do.” he states softly, eyes gazing into yours.

"And Y/N Y/L/N, do you take Park Seonghwa to be your husband?”

“I do.” you respond beaming.

"Seonghwa, please repeat after me.” the officiant says. “I, Park Seonghwa, take thee, Y/N Y/L/N, to be my lawfully wedded wife.” 

“I Park Seonghwa, take thee, Y/n Y/l/n, to be my lawfully wife...” he repeats.

"...To have and to hold from this day forward...”

“...For better for worse...”

 “For richer for poorer...”

“...In sickness and in health...”

“...To love and to cherish...”

“...And to honour you all the days of my life...”

“Till death do us apart.” Seonghwa finishes and your eyes start to water.

“Now, Y/n, please repeat after me.” the officiant calls on you. “I, Y/N Y/LN, take thee, Park Seonghwa, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”

You exhale before repeating his words. ““I, Y/N Y/LN, take thee, Park Seonghwa, to be my lawfully wedded husband.”

"...To have and to hold from this day forward...”

“...For better for worse...”

“For richer for poorer...”

“...In sickness and in health...”

“...To love and to cherish...”

“...And to honour you all the days of my life...”

“Till death do us apart.”

As Jennie walks over to hand over the rings she smiles brightly at you, as the crowd watches you and Seonghwa each place the new band on your fingers, signifying the start of your lifelong commitment to one another. 

“Well! By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife!” the officiant shouts with a smile. “You may now kiss the bride!”

And without a second wasted Seonghwa pulls you in kissing you like he’s never kissed you before and the loud shouts and cheers in the background fills your ears as everyone hollers around you. And when you pull away you can’t seem to wipe the smile off your face as Seonghwa carries you out of the alter.

“Here’s to our new life together, Mrs. Park.” Seonghwa says with a grin as you kiss him once more.

“I love you so much.” you say.

“And I love you even more.” he returns.

So at twenty-two years old you know that you’re never going to stop loving Seonghwa, and that love was made permanent by the unity of your marriage. From the moment you declared him as your boyfriend at the age of six, to the years you spent learning everything together as a couple, growing apart and reuniting, you know that this was a rare kind of love to find, and one that had to mature and progress over a long period of time. 

And so you remember the words you said to him all those years ago the night you parted ways, “if somehow we find our way back to one another, then just know everything we did up to that point was worth it.”

Which stayed true four and a half years later, and for the rest of your life thereafter.

LA FIN.

[clumsyclifford]

"There's enough room for both of us" with my boys malum bc. Yeah. Bonus points if there is, in fact, not actually enough room yk the vibes - yunga

Oh I love you

i love you too !!! i hope this is the vibe you wanted. also i feel like even if it isn’t, it is. It Is.

read on ao3

-

“Michael?”

Michael pulls away from Calum, eyes wide. “Fuck, oh my God, hide.”

“Relax—”

“Honestly, I promised Luke I wouldn’t let you come over,” Michael hisses, wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. Like somehow his mouth is going to give them away. Like that’ll be the problem.

“Ugh, who cares?”

“He’s weird about this stuff and you know that. Go. Closet.”

“I feel a sense of irony,” Calum whispers wryly. Michael glares at him. “Hate to break it to you, love, but you’ve got a little something on your neck that will probably tip Luke off.”

“I told you not to leave a mark, you piece of shit.”

“Weren’t complaining when I did it,” Calum says smugly.

“Oh my God, we’re both going to have to hide,” Michael says, stumbling to his feet and ushering Calum to the closet. He grabs his suit jacket, discarded in a pile on the bed, and throws it over the back of a chair.

“No, absolutely not. We are grown men.”

“There’s enough room for both of us,” Michael says. “I’m not arguing with you about this. Get in.”

“Mike? Are you in there?” Luke voice comes through the door. “Are you decent? Because I think I’ve seen your arse enough times today to last me a lifetime.”

Calum’s jaw drops in delight. “Yes, he walked in on me naked, it wasn’t a good moment for anyone,” Michael says dismissively, pushing Calum through the closet doors. They both have to duck to fit underneath the rod. Michael barely manages to fit in, and he has to press fully up against Calum to get the door closed most of the way. Calum’s breath is hot against the back of his neck. All things considered, it’s not the most uncomfortable position he’s ever found himself in, and it could definitely be a lot worse.

“You’re breathing really loud,” Calum whispers in his ears, sending shivers down Michael’s spine. “By the way, this is the dumbest thing you’ve made me do today.”

“Today?”

“You make me do dumb shit every day. It’s a low bar.”

“Stop whispering,” Michael whispers back. “Be quiet.”

Calum wraps his arms around Michael’s stomach, tugging him so his back is flush against Calum’s chest. He tucks his chin over Michael’s shoulder. “You’re—”

“Shh!”

Calum sighs, but he obligingly falls silent. Through the slats in the closet door, Michael can see Luke push open the door tentatively and walk into the room. His gaze is on the floor, but he lifts it after a moment, and his eyebrows draw together in a frown.

“The fuck?” he mutters. “Michael?”

Almost as if unconsciously, Calum squeezes Michael closer. The moment is oddly tense for something that is objectively so ridiculous. It wouldn’t be a problem if Luke weren’t so superstitious. All things considered, it’s a good thing Ashton is on the side of love. Also known as the Committee for Distracting Luke.

It is not a good thing that Ashton hadn’t given them advance notice about Luke’s return.

(Although they had been otherwise occupied, so there’s a chance Ashton had texted and neither of them had seen. But what is Michael supposed to do when Calum looks so nice? Not kiss him?)

“Mike? Are you in the bathroom?” Luke pauses. After a moment he digs out his phone and makes a call. “Hey. Uh, Michael has also gone mysteriously missing?” A beat. “Yeah. I was gone for, like, five minutes. Do you have any idea where he would be?” Another beat. “If they went off behind my back after I specifically told Michael not to, I swear— yeah, well, just because ignoring me is his M.O. doesn’t mean I have to like it.— Oh my God, I’m not having this with you, mate. It’s a real thing. Relationships have been ruined— Ashton, I’m being serious!” He sighs. “Yes, fine. I’ll meet you. Just stay there.— Okay. See you in a few.”

He hangs up, and, with a final glance cast around the room, steps out of the room, closing the door behind him.

Michael and Calum both exhale loudly. As Michael pushes against the closet door, Calum says, “Oh my God, he’s really serious.”

“I think something dark happened in his past that he hasn’t told us about,” Michael says seriously, spilling out of the closet and Calum’s arms. Calum follows after him, nudging the door with his hip. “And you know I adore Luke, but if he think he can keep me from you after all the hoops we’ve jumped through and all the obstacles we’ve overcome, he’s absolutely insane.”

“Wow,” Calum says. “It’d be romantic if it wasn’t so clearly motivated by spite for Luke.”

“I love Luke,” Michael says, grinning. “And also love fucking with him a little.”

“Yeah, yeah. Hey, by the way,” Calum says, then reaches out, curling a hand into the pressed fabric of Michael’s shirt and pulling him close. Michael barely has time to smirk before his lips are on Calum’s again, and he backs Calum against the closet door, which clicks all the way shut.

Luke’s going to kill him. If not for going directly against his wishes, then definitely for the way Calum’s handling his clothes right now. Somehow, as Calum’s other hand curls around the back of Michael’s neck, Michael can’t find it in himself to care at all.

A buzzing in his pocket briefly draws his attention, and he pulls away from Calum with an apologetic smile. “Let me just—” He checks his screen and then, rolling his eyes, answers the call. “Hey, Ashton. Thanks so much for the head’s up that Luke was coming back, that wasn’t almost a disaster at all.” Calum raises an eyebrow. Michael puts the call on speaker. “You’re on speaker now, by the way.”

“I fucking texted you,” Ashton’s hushed voice says, tinny through the speakers. Michael’s about to say you should know better than that but Ashton barrels on. “Calum, man, you’re gonna need to come back now. I bought you some time, but Luke is absolutely going to lose all of his shit if you don’t miraculously reappear.”

“I think he’s too tightly wound,” Calum muses. “Don’t you feel like he’s a bit high-strung? Considering how relaxed Mike and I are?”

“Look, I’m not picking sides here. You can work it out after. Just please come back.”

Calum sighs, moving his thumb to brush against the bruise he’s left on Michael’s throat. Michael swallows. “Fine. Two minutes.”

“Trusting you,” Ashton says. “Okay. I’m gonna go steer Luke in the direction of, uh, well, I haven’t decided yet. Elsewhere, basically.”

“You’re the best, Ash,” Calum says sweetly.

“Day’s work, yada yada,” Ashton responds. “Love you.”

“Love you. Bye.”

The call drops. Calum immediately pulls Michael into a hard kiss, fingers tightening in his hair. Michael really doesn’t want to let Ashton down, but if there was ever going to be a reason to do so, this would be it.

“You’re the least responsible person I’ve ever met,” Michael manages, leaning away with difficulty. “You need to leave.”

Calum groans. “What am I supposed to do? You look so fucking good in this suit.”

“Imagine how I feel,” Michael says.

“I know how you feel, you idiot. It’s exactly how I feel.”

“Let’s just call the whole thing off,” Michael murmurs, crowding Calum in. “None of the fancy shit. Fuck it.”

“No, stop it,” Calum says. “If you do this, I will absolutely do it with you, and I like the fancy shit. Step away.”

Michael bites his lip, smiling. “That’s what I thought.”

Calum rolls his eyes, but he’s also smiling, the one that lights up his eyes, sweet with a little sarcasm at the edges. “I love you,” he says softly, and presses one more kiss to Michael’s lips, soft and warm. Michael feels it in his heels. “And for the record, I cannot fucking wait to be married to you.”

“Yeah,” Michael breathes. “Me neither.”

[inkykeiji]

Clariiii, how do you juggle your writing from your other work/school/hobbies? I write as well, although it's mainly for my own little head to explore my experiences/fantasies, but lately, I just CAN'T manage my time well... like at all ! Im supposed to be doing homework, yet i find myself listening to music and typing away at a story on my computer. So frustrating >.< maybe its the Covid-alwaysinmydamnhouse-blues

ah good question anon!!! i’m gonna answer under the cut!! <33

aaah it’s quite difficult, isn’t it!! before anything else, i just wanna say that i’m proud of you, both for writing (that’s awesome!!! even if it’s just for you!!) and for wanting to get yourself in order and organize your time better (good god i know the feeling!!). i’m not in school at the moment—i was super lucky and graduated riiiight before covid hit—and covid also robbed me of my job lmao, so i literally spend my days at this current moment at home writing & taking care of a family member.

BUT i did write while in school full-time, so i can try and let you know how i managed to balance all of that out and what i’m trying to do now (i, too, have fallen quite off track with balancing out things (more with my blog than anything else; i’m trying to figure out how to balance writing with answering asks hahaha which maybe sounds a little silly, but i’ve been feeling so chaotic these past two months), so we’re in the same boat anon and i am also trying to get back to having a bit more of a schedule/a healthy balance!!) whoa brackets in brackets okay ANYWAY

first off, i think it’s really important not to be too hard on yourself when it comes to trying to set a schedule and allot time for specific things AND not to try and rush into it—i’m really guilty of both of these, and all it does is make you more frustrated and upset. i keep trying to jump into a routine instead of ease into it, and it only ends up stressing me out more and making me angry at myself ahaha

my point is, getting into a routine where you’re balancing multiple things like that is going to take time and practice; it’s like developing a habit, you know?? so, more than anything, go slow, and start by setting small realistic goals you can achieve. what i’m currently doing is making a list of priorities sorted from most important to less important (but still important) lmao. if you’re trying to juggle several things—like, for example, let’s hypothetically say you’re trying to juggle your schoolwork (essays + readings), your writing, and a few different hobbies (seeing friends, exercising, watching a show, playing with your pet)—that’s a LOT!! so instead of trying to plan out some sort of rigid schedule that includes all of them, organize these things into a list of most important to least important, and start by trying to balance only two or three of the MOST important things.

ie. try to figure out a routine for these things first—let’s say that would be schoolwork, your writing, and seeing friends (i know its a pandemic but we’re talking hypothetically here ehehe). essays and assignments already have due dates, so that should help at least a little in terms of planning out and allocating time for them. make it a goal to at least work on something from school (readings, homework, assignments yk whatever) for an hour or two, every single day or almost every single day (and, if that’s too much for you to start out with, then lower it—whatever works for u, bb <33 don’t try to take on too much all at once!!).

make sure you do these things FIRST every day that you have allotted time for them, esp because they seem to be the things you’re procrastinating on, right? so just get them out of the way. when i was in university, i would use my other hobbies (so in our hypothetical example, writing and seeing friends) as rewards. so i’d be like ‘alright, let me do two hours of research, and then i can spend the rest of the night writing’ or ‘okay, let me read three articles, and then whatever time i have left i will dedicate to writing’ etc. it’s difficult, because there’s a fine line between like, being stern and pushing yourself, and being TOO strict with yourself, but only YOU know your limits, so pay attention to your mental and physical health, and adjust your life routine accordingly. self-discipline is a skill, too, and it also takes time and effort to develop, but i promise you that you CAN do it (or get back on track again, if you’ve fallen off like me!)

after you’ve got this routine down (which is almost like building a foundation or base of like, the most important things in your life that you want to devote time to), then you can slowly try to add anything else into it, one hobby at a time. but this is what worked best for me in university. currently, mine goes a little more like: taking care of myself (health wise) and my family member comes first, and then writing, and then asks. once i have this down, i’d like to add in steady reading (a chapter a day), instead of the sporadic reading i’m doing right now hahaha but ANYWAY!!

gosh anon i hope this makes sense lmao i found it kind of hard to explain but pls feel free to ask for like, clarification if it’s confusing aaaah <33 it can be a little difficult ofc since routines like this are so personal, but i hope that this at least gives you an idea of what i do (or used to do, and am trying to get back to ehehe)

[yeetedintoouterspaces]

☁️💫 Sweetie- Lev Haiba x Reader ☁️💫

"Lev! Lev! There is a new ice skating rink in the mall! Should we go together?" Y/n cheerfully asked. Lev scratched the back of his neck nervously, "I can't really ice skate Y/n-chan but I can still accompany you!" Y/n pouted, "but it won't be fun to go myself~~"

Lev pinched both of her cheeks and sighed, "fine fine, but it won't come free~" "What do you mean?" Y/n asked as she cocked her head to one side. Lev tapped his cheek lightly and smiled. Y/n got the signal and tip-toed so she could reach his face. She placed a small kiss on his cheek and smiled, "so you will go with me now?" Lev, slightly nervous, answered, "sure!~"

The two made their way to the mall, arm in arm. They bought their tickets and rented a pair of skates each.

"Y/n-chan how do you put these on-"

"Lev you're just supposed to strap them in like this." Y/n says as she shows him. Somehow, because Lev is Lev, the straps got tangled. Y/n tried to hold back her laughter, "Lev what did you do oh god."

Lev managed to mess up the shoe straps. Yes, shoe straps. How? Y/n can't explain how or why. "Lev baby I love you so so much but, what on earth did you do. These are velcro-"

"Y/n I don't know but help me I'm begging you!!" Lev begged and pulled out his puppy eyes. Y/n fell weak and helped him out. They took forever but finally, Lev was free from the shoe monster.

The two got onto the rink and nervous Lev was holding onto the railing for dear life. Y/n being the best girlfriend, she snapped a picture of him for future blackmail.

Lev tried to skate away from the railing but failed. He slid across the rink and almost died ( not literally but yk yk ).

Y/n tried so hard not to laugh but ultimately failed. "Y/n-chan! Help me!" Lev cried out. Y/n skated over and tried her best to pull him up.

Oh god that was a mistake. Lev being 196 cm and Y/n being significantly smaller, this made poor Y/n fall onto the cold ice as well. Welp, this is fate. The two now stuck on the cold, ice floor together.

Eventually, the two got up awkwardly and Y/n held Lev's hand. "Just hold onto my hand so you won't fall again." Y/n said as she blushed hard. Lev nodded and held onto her smaller hands tightly. "Y/n you are such a tsundere." Lev commented. "Quit it baka I'm only trying to be nice!" Y/n retorted.

Y/n tried her best to teach her giant boyfriend how to ice skate. Let's just say it was an experience she wouldn't want to go through again.

After a few hours of the two having fun and mostly Lev slipping, they left the rink and made their way home. "Hold up Y/n I needa go to the bathroom real quick." Lev said. Y/n nodded and waited for him. Lev came back after some time but he was holding onto something. A plushie? "Y/n-chan~ Just a little something as a thank you~" Lev said in a sing-song tone.

Y/n's eyes widened and carefully held the plushie in her hands. It was a really tall giraffe with cute beaded eyes. Y/n hugged it tightly and blushed, "thanks Lev." Y/n kissed the plushie and gazed at it. It was so cute!!

But Lev was glaring at it in hate now. Y/n tilted her head and asked, "what's wrong Lev?" Lev pouted and looked away, "it's nothing. Hmph!"

Y/n wiggled her eyebrows and teased Lev, "Hehe are you jealous of Mr. Plushie?" Lev blushed and pouted harder, "Nope! Not even in the slightest Y/n!" Y/n chuckled and stood on her tippy toes. She kissed both of his cheeks and finally, his lips. Lev smiled and held her tightly in his long, noodly arms.

"Thanks for today Y/n! We should totally do this again sometime!" Lev said excitedly. Y/n sweat dropped and said, "maybe not anytime soon. I don't want to live through this trauma again." Lev pouted and sighed, "Y/n-chan is so mean to me! Hmph!"

Y/n fake gasped, "oh no! What can I do to make it up to my handsome boyfriend?" Lev smirked, "a kiss on the cheek should do the trick!" Y/n chuckled and kissed him once more. "Lev you big baby. I love you so much." Y/n said as she squeezed his hand.

Lev laughed and replied, "love you too my sunshine." The two made their way home while being cheesey idiots. Ah, what did Y/n ever do to deserve a sweet boyfriend like him?

Bonus!

"Lev! Look! Mr Plushie is so cute!!" Y/n commented as she hugged it. "Y/n I'm cute too!" Lev said as he leaned onto Y/n's head. ( yk cuz he is too tall for her shoulder ) "But Mr Plushie thoughhh" Y/n continued.

"But me thoughh" Lev retorted. Y/n rolled her eyes but she couldn't help but to smile, "Yes Lev you are my adorable boyfriend."

"Yay!!! I am cute uwu." Lev squaled in delight.

"When were you never cute my darling?"

[kangtaebins]

Weird Asks That Say A Lot

I said I was going to just answer all of these bc of boredom,, and so here I am

1. Coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans? Teacups are aesthetically pleasing idc what anyone says

2. Chocolate bars or lollipops? Lollipops

3. Bubblegum or cotton candy? Cotton candy supremacy

4. How did your elementary school teachers describe you? I was told that I was a leader a lot, and was told that I was very intelligent. Ah yes, I suffered from gifted kid burn out in high school-

5. Do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups? Look, plastic cups are the best. Specifically the ones with the lids and reusable straws

6. Pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear? It truly depends on the day bc some days I would say goth and other days I’d say grunge, but most days- pastel

7. Earbuds or headphones? Earbuds

8. Movies or TV shows? TV shows bc- idk actually I’m just not a movie person

9. Favorite smell in the summer? I have a weird obsession with the smell of cheap sunscreen and I have no clue why

10. Game you were best at in p.e.? I hated gym in high school and rarely participated despite the teacher being irritated with me (truly she gave up after a few months bc I really did not care at all) HOWEVER- I went to town in volleyball and still enjoy playing volleyball v much

11. What do you have for breakfast on an average day? I don’t eat breakfast often,,, 

12. Name of your favorite playlist? Probably my Navy or Indigo playlist

13. Lanyard or key ring? Key ring 

14. Favorite non-chocolate candy? Anything green apple!!!

15. Favorite book you read as a school assignment? I actually genuinely enjoyed Romeo And Juliet tbh

16. Most comfortable position to sit in? I always curl up in a ball on the couch, but in a chair I manspread ngl

17. Most frequently worn pair of shoes? Nike slides <//3

18. Ideal weather? Between 50-70 degrees, sunny but not warm, being able to wear a hoodie and not be hot or cold

19. Sleeping position? I usually either sleep on my left side or on my stomach (my back once in a while when it’s hurting bc I’m a hag)

20. Preferred place to write (i.e., in a note book, on your laptop, sketchpad, post-it notes, etc.)? I write on my phone more than anything

21. Obsession from childhood? Hm- I was really obsessed with High School Musical as a kid. My friend and I would put it on and lip sync to the songs and pretend we were the characters

22. Role model? Is it- wrong to say myself? Bc I feel like that sounds arrogant but genuinely it’s bc I’m constantly trying to better myself mentally and learn and grow. Idk I just am proud of who I am and look to myself when I need to find motivation

23. Strange habits? Strange? Idk if it’s strange but I’m constantly twiddling with the hem of my sleeves bc I love the feeling of it

24. Favorite crystal? Citrine 

25. First song you remember hearing? WH- bitch idk tf

26. Favorite activity to do in warm weather? Stay tf inside in the air conditioning

27. Favorite activity to do in cold weather? Stay tf inside in the heat

28. Five songs to describe you? To describe me?? Girl idk I'm all over the place. How about songs that resonate with me instead,,, Alive by Khalid, Paranoid by Lauv, Phobia by Dvwn, Fake Smile by Ariana Grande, and Breathin by Ariana Grande

29. Best way to bond with you? Truly I'm not very difficult to get along with, just don't be an asshole. Talk to me about psychology, current events, say Soobin is the cutest to exist idk it's not that hard

30. Places that you find sacred? I- hm. I'm not like a church person or anything so idk. Maybe just anything really old or places with very detailed and unique architecture

31. What outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names? I don't own many clothes,,, let alone nice clothes. I also don't really dress to impress I'd much rather be comfortable

32. Top five favorite vines? Oh god if I h a d to pick???? The lipstick in the Valentino bag, they were roommates, it's an avocado- thaaanks, jared 19, and uh,,, zach stooppp you're gonna get in trouble

33. Most used phrase in your phone? Tbh it's probably "girl what-" or "no bc"

34. Advertisements you have stuck in your head? That 877-CASH-NOW ONE JFC

35. Average time you fall asleep? Between 11pm-1am

36. What is the first meme you remember ever seeing? Probably the troll face one or smth

37. Suitcase or duffel bag? Suitcase

38. Lemonade or tea? I mix them together!

39. Lemon cake or lemon meringue pie? Lemon meringue pie bc I don't really like cake

40. Weirdest thing to ever happen at your school? Y'all I- went to a hs/college mixed school,, I've seen it all. Weirdest?? Idk but one weird thing I remember was when we were making whistles in art and some dude made a penis whistle 😭

41. Last person you texted? My best friend :))

42. Jacket pockets or pants pockets? Jacket pockets

43. Hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket? Hoodie 100%

44. Favorite scent for soap? I love soaps that smell like soap. Like ok duh I know that sounds dumb but yk what I mean? I don't want lemon or mint or whatever, I like the plain soap smell

45. Which genre: sci-fi, fantasy or superhero? Fantasy

46. Most comfortable outfit to sleep in? Oversized t-shirt, no pants. I question anyone that is comfortable sleeping with pants on-

47. Favorite type of cheese? Feta!

48. If you were a fruit, what kind would you be? I feel like I'd be a pineapple and I have no clue why

49. What saying or quote do you live by? Not necessarily a quote but more of a thought: live for yourself, enjoy each day, do what gives you joy

50. What made you laugh the hardest you ever have? I have had so many instances in which I have laughed so hard I peed and to even attempt to name one is impossible

51. Current stresses? Making sure my family gets their vaccines and stays safe

52. Favorite font? I don't think I have one? Anything except comic sans

53. What is the current state of your hands? What does this even mean 💀 I mean,, they're holding my phone, cold, and my nails are unpolished

54. What did you learn from your first job? That people are assholes but I'm capable of not giving a fuck bc life is not that damn serious

55. Favorite fairy tale? Is The Three Little Pigs considered a fairy tale?

56. Favorite tradition? Putting up the Christmas tree with my mom :( it's always a lot of fun

57. The three biggest struggles you’ve overcome? Depression, grief, and hopefully one day- smth I'm currently dealing with

58. Four talents you’re proud of having? Makeup!! But also: singing, crying on command, and tying cherry stems with my tongue

59. If you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be? Sick of these bitches

60. If you were a character in an anime, what kind of anime would you want it to be? I don't watch anime so idk

61. Favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.? It's this line from Eleanor & Park: "Eleanor was right: She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn't supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something."

62. Seven characters you relate to? Holy hell, 7?? Probably won't get that many but hm,,, Darlene from Roseanne, Hermione from Harry Potter, Emily from Pretty Little Liars maybe?? Idk I suddenly blanked

63. Five songs that would play in your club? As if it's Your Last by BP, anything from SHINee, anything from Ariana, also anything Rihanna, just a bunch of women tbh

64. Favorite website from your childhood? FUCKING WEBKINZ BRO

65. Any permanent scars? I have a few on my arms idk where they came from tbh, I also have one on my hand from my sister 🧍🏻‍♀

66. Favorite flower(s)? Sunflowers!!! I also really love lilacs 💔

67. Good luck charms? My dog's collar that I wear as a bracelet

68. Worst flavor of any food or drink you’ve ever tried? Licorice-

69. A fun fact that you don’t know how you learned? It takes repeating a piece of information 12 times at random to memorize it completely

70. Left or right handed? Right

71. Least favorite pattern? Fucking chevron- and realistic camo, and anything with the American flag

72. Worst subject? Yall im awful at history. American history, world history, all of it-

73. Favorite weird flavor combo? Either pickles and peanut butter or cheese and grapes

74. At what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen? I'm stubborn but also always in pain so I've become numb to a lot of body pains. I have to be at like a 7-8 before I take smth otherwise I'd always be taking it

75. When did you lose your first tooth? I was probably like 5 I was definitely in Kindergarten

76. What’s your favorite potato food (i.e. tater tots, baked potatoes, fries, chips, etc.)? I fw baked potatoes

77. Best plant to grow on a windowsill? I have a love for succulents

78. Coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store? Oh my- I don't drink coffee but coffee from a gas station

79. Which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo? Driver's license for sure

80. Earth tones or jewel tones? Jewel tones

81. Fireflies or lightning bugs? I say both,, but I think I say lightning bugs more

82. PC or console? PC

83. Writing or drawing? Both

84. Podcasts or talk radio? Podcasts definitely

84. Barbie or polly pocket? Barbie

85. Fairy tales or mythology? Fairy tales

86. Cookies or cupcakes? C o o k i e s

87. Your greatest fear? Losing people I love

88. Your greatest wish? To live comfortably and be a great mother

89. Who would you put before everyone else? My family

90. Luckiest mistake? Guessing on 90% of a test and getting an A 💀

91. Boxes or bags? Bags are easier to carry-

92. Lamps, overhead lights, sunlight or fairy lights? Fairy lights!!

93. Nicknames? Sam, Sammi, my sister calls me Sams, my best friend calls me Bub, and my gf calls me Baby if that counts- 👀

94. Favorite season? Fall omg it's gorgeous and has perfect temperatures

95. Favorite app on your phone? ✨tumblr✨

96. Desktop background? Its literally a pic of Soobin, Taehyun, and Beomgyu

97. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? Like 4-5

98. Favorite historical era? The one where white people learn their fucking place and stop being racist, homophobic, classist, sexist, all the -ists and -phobics,,,, so none. Fuck history :))

[thegeminisage]

I just bought a switch after playing my brothers for ages. I’ve been putting off buying botw because I’ll have to start it over, but you’re making me want to! The thing that always got me was the meta sense of people living peacefully on the edge of the end of the world. Going about their lives and jobs and errands as just down the way a castle is consumed with shadows and shit. I never played loz before botw so I got to play it as an amnesiac hero who refuses the call and discovers his

sense of self as a tundra prime meat hunter and seller, and general explorer-chef who often does some of the neat puzzles that are lying around, meets the local magic fauna and tries to ride every living creature from bear to dragon to spirit horse. That was a wild way to play it. As someone avoiding the call because it’s a person they have no connection to being, but being hit with that person’s memories as you reforge yourself. Meeting folks COULD do something for. The GUILT! The identity!

GOD FUCK I LOVE THAT wait i fucking love that i love this take this is actually the most galaxy brain thing i’ve ever heard

firstly like, the dissonance of the apocalypse looming and these people just living their lives and doing their shit - this didn’t Hit properly when this game first came out bc obama had only been out of office for a month and change but now...there’s like a pandemic and everything else happening and what am i doing? going to work and playing video games, which is the same thing i was doing when it wasn’t the end of the world. sure, i can see the castle being consumed by darkness on the edge of the horizon at all times, but what am i supposed to do about that? the average hylian citizen is too afraid to venture away from the settlements because they’re not capable of fending off your basic bokoblin, they can’t do anything about the calamity! what they can do is make sure they’ve got enough fish in their net to feed their family and get a head start on pumpkin-growing season this year.

like, one of the first npcs you can meet on the bridge on the way to kakariko will tell you a story about how a guardian nearly killed him once, and how he keeps an eye on the broken one near his post to make sure it doesn’t move. and that’s fucking horrifying but like it’s just life, yk? sometimes you get chased around by giant mechanical horrors with death rays! it happens! life’s full of little surprises and dangerous places.

secondly, the lack of context re: zelda as a whole is SUUUUCH a cool and good pov...in a way you’re living exactly the same as everybody else, because almost none of them are old enough to remember hyrule proper either, they’ve only heard stories. even i, who have loved the series all my life, was more interested in exploring than finishing the mission. the meta of that is so neat - that you, and by extension link, do not want to answer the call because it means nothing to you, because you’re a stranger in this world and it is a stranger to you...but, by extent, maybe the more time you/he spends in it, the more you/he wants to save it?? 

meanwhile, it was different for me - i knew how the world was supposed to be but i couldn’t “remember” (didn’t know) just how it GOT this way, and i was so driven, from the moment the trailers first dropped, to find the answer. and i fuckin LOOOOVE that on a meta level, that your experience and mine with botw were entirely different not because we played different but because of different levels of contexts. that’s maybe one of the coolest things about gaming is that huge level of interactivity not just physically but mentally and emotionally!!!

anyway god sorry i’ve gone on long enough but i do really hope you finish/restart it...i was reluctant too for a long time bc i’m also losing all the progress i made on wii u, i was SOOO CLOSE to having all my shooting stars and outfits upgraded, i’m gonna have to pay real cash money to buy the dlc again, etc...but it’s been really cool to get to explore the world all over again. and more importantly, no spoilers but the world doesn’t go away just because you save it - it’ll put you back before that last battle and you can keep playing on your file as much as you want!! 

plus, you gotta be ready to enjoy botw2 whenever that happens :’)

[159potterhead]

(this is answer to the previous ask. It's gonna be long. I'll try to give you the insight)

Yeah. I mean apart from me there's also this one other guy he's also regular victim like me coz he also broke a rule but he gets bullied by different seniors not the Michael guy gang. And it's not particularly about the gang or the group coz all those seniors are friends with each other so anyone can bully any junior. This guy has a job for calling me when those seniors ask to see me and this guy makes a run to the cafe coz those seniors wants to eat something. He's always running around here and there. I feel bad for him.

There are more than 200 peeps I guess. They had human ethics class when they called me but that time professor wasn't taking their lecture so most of them left but then too there were too many people in there. Yk I told you I'm in Biotech so like this we have all kind of subjects for major like physics, chemistry, maths, statistics, life science and many more and for all these branches we have a common subject called Human ethics which is compulsory for every one. So all of the branches together sit in one big classroom for this subject.

Tbh, I really don't know what that guy wants, I thought maybe I'll avoid him so I won't get in trouble but it happened opposite coz he got seriously pissed after that. That was the most embarrassing day of my life, I remember everything, I got very close to crying. And he never really talks to me but he called me in their class and was like, why are you avoiding me? And I can't say that to his face, so, I said, 'I was not.' And then he listed a few palce where I tried to avoid him and I had no answer to that, it's a long story but he bought that list of slangs that I once wrote and he told me to read the whole list (it has around 70 curse words half which I had to make up on my own. Initially it 50 but afterwards they increased it. I'll get to it later) He told me I had to yell those words until the person sitting on the last bench can hear me. It was brutal. And he was standing right on my head saying, 'I can't hear you,' I would have killed him that day. I got very close to crying. I only made it till 4-5 words. I skipped few days after that day it was the worst thing ever that's how everyone in his year got to know about me.

Yes! I tried to avoid him many times. If I saw him coming I used to changed my path and I think he noticed coz I wasn't subtle at all. And idk what's up with him coz he started playing hide and seek, if he noticed me changing direction or going the long way to avoid him he just used to take the short route and get there before me just to freak me out. And that guy is not even in my line of vision he's way taller than me and I freaked out every time when he used to come in front of me suddenly out of nowhere. I looked okay not a big deal from outside but from inside I always went in emergency mode, my hands used to get cold. Sue me, I have anxiety I can't help it and if someone will act like this I will feel a little afraid or intimidated yk. And after that task of reading the list out loud he stopped. So that was relief. I often think does these people don't have humanity or what. If I was a guy I would never do this to a girl. And yk this bullying part is also a reason why I'm done with guys. Don't be sorry, it's okay I had my fun in school, so I was kinda prepared for this.

I think you didn't get it. It's the weird universal rule going on from ages, we have to give respect to every senior even if they are from other branch. The rules are not made up by any college authority. It's just something that is going on among students, professors doesn't know a thing about it. There are many rules. We have two cafes over here and one of them is strictly reserved for seniors, a junior person cannot step a foot over there.

Yesss! You get me! That's why I was looking. I don't think it's peer pressure. I think that he thinks I don't respect him and I broke the rule. I think he got more confident after his friends knew. And I think his friends told people of his class that's why they all knew my name.

All my friends and classmates already knows about it. They can't do anything coz those people are their seniors too, and we are supposed to do as they say. One of my tired tried to help me coz she knew someone in the senior batch and that person talked to that Michael guy about me and guess what? They just doubled the slangs. And I had to prove my innocence and I bargained but then too I ended up writing 70. So there's that.

(it’s alright, write ten pages even if you’ve got to)

it’s all cause of those stupid rules!!😡 oh my, poor kid:(( y’all have feet, go and get your own food from the cafeteria! i’m starting to feel bad for him too, he’s just trying to get along with his college years, let him be!!

ohh, so you get stuck in the same hall for a whole lecture? that’s just nice🤦🏻‍♀️

yeah that makes absolutely no sense btw🤨?? baby noo😭 I wish I had been there for you!! umm we have nothing between us, I can avoid you if I want to?? jeez I wanna punch this dude so bad rn. ok srsly what is up with that list omg. YOURE JOKING????? HE MADE YOU DO THAT??? IS HE INSANE OR INSANE??!!? im so so so sorry!!!! that just sounds like an awful way to get introduced to the rest of the school, plus I can’t imagine the toll it had on you!!😭😭

???? what a creep??? I mean that’d be fine if it was a friend, but what the hell does he want?? you have a right to be intimidated, and it’s not your fault you’ve got anxiety, can’t he get it?!! either he finally saw that his actions are that of the devil and felt sorry for you and stopped, which I doubt very much. or someone in that class saw and made him stop afterwards. he shouldn’t be doing this to anyone, regardless!! this is your actual villain origin story against guys, and honestly, I can very clearly see why now. even though, this doesn’t mean that you deserved an ounce of it!

how is that supposed to be any better?? and fine I can show respect, but to the point of calling them maam and sir, is this a school or military grounds? yeah okay that reserved spot thing is passable.

ah okay... a shitty dude followed by shitty friends... how respectful.

honestly thank god I don’t attend your college, no offense. under whose authority am I to blindly do as they say, I don’t get it, I really don’t! oh that’s just great😫 props to them for talking to him though. that just sucks, I am incredibly sorry! :(((

🎶honey I'll be your shelter, I'll be the one to take you through the night. whenever you need shelter, I'll make everything alright, make everything alright🎶💕