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#can't believe I improved in like. 2 months
taonpest · 1 year
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I was supposed to test new brushes. Guess what? I use the same brush as always
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soft-daes · 2 years
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⛸️
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beary-rambles · 1 year
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Econ tutor | 100 Follower Special
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Summary: You're failing econ and you need to pass this semester. When you asked your professor he told you he would assign you a tutor, Ethan Landry.
Pairing: Ethan Landry x Fem!reader
Warnings: SLOWBURN, fluffy, he fell first and fell harder, no ghostface au! Ooc characters (Happy friend group laugh out loud), ethan gives me peanut allergy vibes, misunderstanding trope, strangers to friends to lovers, not proofread.
word count: 9.3k
Looking at the grade from your most recent test on canvas you can only groan and put your head in your hands, You suck at econ. Econ aka economics is one of the worst classes ever invented. 
You couldn't fail this class, you needed it to graduate and you definitely weren't repeating it especially when you paid a lot of money to take it. As a freshman at Blackmore University you needed to take econ for your degree and it sucks. 
You should email your professor and ask if he's free. You draft out an email and during his open hours you send it to ask if he has any advice for you to improve your grade. Just like any other professor he of course does not answer you within a reasonable time and all you can do is stress out for the next week.
He finally gets back to you and tells you to meet him after your last class. You dreadfully walk your way to his class and knock on the door. "Come in." You open the door and see your professor standing by his desk with a boy who must be the same age standing stiffly near him.
You make your way towards them and you feel confused, Did you get the time wrong? No, you repeatedly checked the time and date so you can't be wrong.
Your questions are quickly answered as he begins to speak. "This is Ethan Landry, he's a star student and he's agreed to tutor you and prepare you for the final." The final was a couple months away as it was only just the beginning of the second semester and you needed to pass it to pass the class.
You look at Ethan who smiled as soon as you looked at, "It's nice to meet you." "It's nice to meet you too." He's not bad to look at, at all. He's got a nice smile and curly hair, he wears a plain black hoodie and blue jeans with sneakers. He's cute. 
The professor goes over some other things like scheduling and how you two should scheduling meeting days. Once you two are dismissed you are standing outside of his room with him.
"So, could I get your number?" He looks at you shocked, his face slightly red, "You know, so I can text you and we schedule a day to meet." He looks embarrassed, "Oh right." 
You hand him your phone and he puts his number in and hands it back. An awkward silence falls over you as you bounce heel to toe. "So.... When are you free?"
"What?" "You know, like for our first session." You're shocked his face can get anymore red, "Right! I'm free any day. I never really have anything planned. Oh my god that sounds so lame I mean I have plans sometimes just not anytime soon-""Ethan." You're laughing. He's really cute.
He's looking down at his feet as he kicks some of the pebbles on the ground. "I'm sorry I'm not laughing at you. Promise." He nods. seemingly not believing in you as you continue. "So, What about thursday? I get out of my liberal arts class at 2 then I'm free for the rest of the day." 
He nods, "I get out of algebra at 2:30 if you're willing to wait." You nod as you smile. “That's fine, We could meet in the library?” He nods, “yes that works.” You smile as he lifts his head, “I really want to thank you for doing this, I really appreciate it.” He nods and scratches the back of his neck with a sheepish grin, “It's no problem really.” 
You begin to walk back and wave “I'll see you.” You turn back before he gets to say anything and head to your dorm for the day, exhausted after your morning classes. He seems like the nerdy smart type and that’s good because you really need help with this class. You should find a way to thank him for doing this.
It's monday so you have a couple days until your first session. For some odd reason you can't wait to study econ.
‘Do you have a favorite dessert?’ Ethan can barely believe his eyes at the text you just sent him. It's Tuesday and he doesn't have class on Tuesday so he spends the morning at the gym, sweat dripping down his face as he reads over the text you sent. Dessert? Why were you asking him about the dessert? “It's the first text you sent him other than a confirmation text to confirm it was actually his number (a text he totally did not stress over for about ten minutes before he answered) 
He couldn't believe his luck when his econ professor had come up to him and asked if he would tutor you since you were failing the class. You being the person he had a massive crush on since he first saw you walking around campus, then he found out you were in the same econ class as him and began to sit closer to you during class so he could look at you. Not in a stalker way of course. He didn't mention this to anyone, especially not Chad, his roommate and the person who he considers to be his best friend. Chad would definitely find a way to make fun of him and beg him to ask you out at any given moment. 
When he was talking to you yesterday he felt like his heart was about to burst out of his chest. He made a fool out of himself and he was embarrassed, of course the first time he tries to talk to you he ruins it. You laughed at him, your laugh is nice so is your smile it's so much better when directed at him than seeing you smile from across the room. “What's got you smiling like that huh?” Chad had walked up to him with a curious look on his face and a grin. “Nothing.” Ethan quickly turned off his phone as Chad crossed his arms, “Nope what is it.” Ethan sighs, “It's nothing really.” His phone dings and before Ethan can blink, Chad is snatching it out of his hand, “Hey!” You texted again, ‘also do you have any allergies?’ Ethan tries to get the phone back but Chad is looking at it with a tilted head, “Y/n? With heart next to it dude you never told me you got a girlfriend.” Ethan manages to get the phone back and shakes his head, “She's not my girlfriend.” Chad now has a look on his face that Ethan does not like, “Oh you got a crush on the girl, got it.” 
Ethan groans as he sits down on the bench, This isn't good. “I dont think ive heard of her, I'm gonna ask Tara if she knows her.” Chad pulls out his phone. “Please don't.” “aaaaaaand send, oh no too late.” Ethan groans and lays back on the bench with his head in his hands. This is the worst, exactly what he was trying to avoid. Ethans phone buzzes and he looks at it, ‘No way your nerd ass has a crush on that hottie LOL.’ He throws the phone on the ground next to him and covers his face. Chad laughs, “Oh she works with Tara and is her lab partner, ooo she sent me her insta.” Ethan’s ears burn, he is so embarrassed. “Oh she's cute, ask her out.” 
Ethan finally sits up, “No way.” Chad rolls his eyes, “Dude why not.” Ethan shakes his head, “She doesn't like me. She doesn't even know me.” Chad sits on the bench next to him, “If she doesn't like you then why the hell is she asking you if you're allergic to anything?” “I dont know im her tutor for econ-” “woah woah woah woah back up.” Ethan sighs, “You're her tutor??” “Starting thursday.” He can't wait for Thursday, it had only been a day since he found out and he could barely contain his excitement. “Oooo the perfect opportunity to ask. her. out.” “Chad-” “Think about it, you two are sitting cozy in your bed going over notes-” “Why are we in my bed?” “And you make a move on her, it's perfect.” “You're ridiculous.”  “I'm not being ridiculous, I'm being serious, ask her out.”
Ethan stands up and cleans up his stuff to leave, “Nope and this is exactly why i didn't want to tell you.” Chad shakes his head, “Don’t worry man I got you.” “Don't even think about it.”
‘Um, I like cookies.’
‘Allergies? I'm allergic to peanuts.’
You had settled on making him a dessert as a gift most people like desserts right?. Cookies it is. You started researching different recipes and planned out a day to go get ingredients when you got a text from tara. 
‘Hey, are you free on friday?’
You groan and hope she's not about to ask you to cover a shift for her, Fridays are usually a free day for you, no classes and no school so you're free to do what you want and you do not want to spend another Friday covering a shift.
‘If you need me to cover a shift for you, no but if it's for anything else then yes.’
‘You wouldnt cover for me 🙁’
‘No way.’
‘Im joking, you're coming with me to go bowling with my friends. Five. be dressed i'm gonna come pick you up.’
‘Do I have a choice? You never invite me to these things.’
‘Nope. love you <;3’
Why does she want you to come? It's an odd request because despite the fact you two are close you've never been invited to hang with her friend group, you don't even know who’s in said group. You thumbs down her last message before going back to your cookie research. 
“She’s coming!” “Nice!” Ethan glares at Tara and Chad as they high five and peck lips in his dorm. “What are you two talking about?” Tara smiles at him as she moves to leave for the night, “Oh nothing, just got you a bowling partner for friday, you're welcome.” Ethan tilts his head confused, “I thought Quinn was gonna be my partner.” His sister, Quinn, while not a main member of their friend group, usually joined them for these sorts of hang outs, “She cant make it she needs to make up a test for physics.” 
Ethans earlier conversation with Chad plays in his mind as he looks at them, “What did you two do?” “Nothing! Goodnight!” “Tara!” She runs out the door and he turns to Chad, “Don't you dare tell me-” “You're welcome.” 
Ethan flops onto his bed and sighs. He should have never let Chad find out and now Tara knew and that only made it worse. He runs his hands over his face, he really likes you and he doesn't want to ruin it, now he would be partnered with you for bowling and the worst thing is he sucks at bowling. 
It was wednesday and you were in lab with tara doing some research lab, she was clearly not interested in it though as she started talking to you.
"So I heard you're getting tutored for econ." you turn to her shocked, "how did you hear about that?" she rolls her eyes, "um i'm dating chad?" "I know? what does that have to do with anything?" she gives you a dumbfounded look, "Ethan is Chad's roommate? And my friend? did you seriously not know this, he's gonna be there on friday."
oh. "No?!? why would i know that tara i usually tune out whenever you start talking about him-" "hey what's that supposed to mean-" "it means i don't want to hear about you and what your boyfriend are up to especially knowing you-" "knowing me?-" "you're gonna say something weird so i tune out-" "I would never." You give her a blank stare and she shrugs, "You're just mad I have a hot boyfriend. I knew it."
You groan and look at your paper and begin to work, "definitely not jealous tara." "sure...." for a few moments it's quiet and you hope that's the end of her questioning but of course, "there has to be a guy you think is cute."
You look at her, "What?" "Is there a guy you think is cute?" "Tara, stop pushing your relationship agenda onto me. I don't need a boyfriend- ""or a girl I don't judge-" "tara." "One person just named one."
you roll your eyes, "i don't know," You think and your mind automatically drifts back to ethan. You two haven't texted since you asked him about desserts but right now when asked if there's a guy you think is cute all you can think about are his dreamy eyes and curly hair. "Ethans pretty cute." You blurt out before you can stop yourself and slap your hand over your mouth, tara grins. You don't like that grin.
"I see...." "I didn't mean to say that-" "okay...." "Tara forget about it." "No way." she pulls her phone and texts someone while you can only look at her with horror. "Who are you texting?" "nobody." she smiles as she puts her phone down and goes back to work, "Oh come on we need to finish this paper." "I hate you."
--
Thursday had rolled around faster than you thought it would. Yesterday after your work shift you walked to the grocery store and picked up what you needed to make a (hopefully) good batch of cookies. Walking out of your liberal arts class you walk back to your dorm and pick up the cookies you made and make your way to the library.
You sit down at one of the empty tables and text him where you're sitting. You don't receive a response until 2:30, 'Okay! I'll meet you there, just need to run back and grab my econ textbook.'
He walks in at 2:45, he spots you and smiles as he moves towards you. "Hi." "Hey there." He sits across from you. He looks cute today, he's wearing a red sweater with black jeans, and his hair looks really soft. "So..." You realize you're staring and look down at your notes you had pulled out. “Um….” It's awkward, his face is red and he’s fiddling around with his papers. You need to end this before you guys just end up sitting here in silence. “Do you mind if we start with the recent test, I'm sorry but it's just… It was really bad.” You laugh and he smiles, “No I mean yes! Of course we can.” As soon as you begin you fall into an easy conversation, He’s way more confident while going over Econ, you realize it's kind of hot that he’s so smart. 
“I'm sorry but I don't know how much more econ I can take for the day.” You rub your head as he laughs. It's now after six and you're starving. “That's okay, we can wrap up for the day and continue next time.” You two pack up and walk out the library together, the sun is set so it's dark out and he looks at you worried, “I didn't even notice the sun had set.” You say looking at the sky, “Please it's my fault let me walk you to your dorm.” You laugh and shake your head, he looks really worried and apologetic, it's cute. “Ethan really it's okay not your fault at all, probably mine to be honest i really didn't get all that inflation stuff.”  You really sucked at anything with money, especially if it's in economics, you two had to sit there for an hour as he went over just that one question with you.  
“No.. really it was- i mean please let me walk you there. I would feel bad letting you walk on your own, not that you can't take care of yourself of course but you know it's late and there are a lot of weird guys walking around right now i kind of seem like a weird guy don't i shit-""Ethan!” You're laughing, he really is so cute. He stares at you amazed at you laughing before he looks down, “I'm sorry, I can go-'' He quickly turns to leave but you grab his arm to stop him. His arm feels muscular, does he have muscles? No… is he really underneath all those baggy hoodies and sweaters he wears? He turns back to you alarmed, “Walk me home? Maybe you're right there are a lot of weirdos around and I need a big strong guy over 6 ft to protect me, don't you think?” 
You squeeze his arm reassuringly as his face burns and his ears go red. You're teasing him, you look at the look on his face and think about apologizing before he speaks again, “Yes.” 
You swear you saw him puff his chest slightly. You almost laugh but after seeing his reaction last time you dont and smile at him as you let go of his arm, "my dorm is this way." you lead him and he walks next to you side by side. "Wait here." He switches places with you so he's next to the road, He's sweet. You two fall into a comfortable silence, it's nice. He bumps into you slightly as you walk, his arms are warm. Your hands brush against each other but before anything else can come from it you arrive at your door.
"Thank you for everything I mean, I really appreciate it." "It's no problem really." You nod as he turns to leave, he makes it a few steps before you call after him, "Wait! shit i can't believe i almost forgot." He turns to you confused, "is everything-" "I made these for you." Youre hold out a container for him and he stares at it, "They're cookies." 
He looks at you in disbelief, "You mentioned you liked them so I thought I would make you some, you know, as a thank you for tutoring me." He stares at you not moving, "if you don't want them that's okay too i promise i didn't poison them." You try to awkwardly joke, feeling a little defeated he didn't want the cookies. He snaps back and shakes his head furiously, "no no no no i want them thank you im just, really shocked." He takes the container out of your hands and holds them as if he fears they're gonna be taken away from him. "Thank you." he says quietly, looking at the container. 
"no thank you." You walk back and get to your door, still standing there looking at you. You smile at him and wave "Bye I'll see you tomorrow!" 
--
He's frozen outside your dorm as he stares at where you were just standing. He's gripping the container tightly in disbelief. You had made him cookies. The last time someone made him cookies was his mom who died years ago. He looks down at the container as his hands begin to shake.
He realizes how crazy he must look, standing outside your dorm so he quickly begins to walk to his dorm. His face hurts from how hard he's grinning, all the time he thinks he can't fall any deeper for you he does. Today was the best day ever, you two sat there for hours. He felt like his heart was going to burst out of his chest every time you looked at him while he was going over a topic. When you got so excited every time something finally made sense and you looked at him, your face covered with a smile, he felt like he couldn't breathe. 
When you were asking him questions all he could do was stare at you. You were the most beautiful girl in the world to him. He opens his door and enters his dorm, the large grin never leaving his face. "Awe look at you." Chad was leaning against a wall and smiling, "You're adorable." Ethan ignores Chad as he moves past him to his bed. He places the container on his desk and his bag on his chair then sits on his bed to take off his shoes"what's this huh?" Chad inspects the container of cookies with a teasing look. "Put that down." 
Chad opens the container, "Cookies? Where did you get these? Can I have one?" Ethan rolls his eyes and shakes his head, "Get out." Chad hums his thoughts and his eyes light up, "did y/n make these for you? oooooo i get it loverboy you don't want me to have any of the sweet cookies your girlfriend made with love for you." Ethan stands and snatches the container out of his hands, "Shut up!" He's red and his grin still hasn't left, Chad looks happy. "So anything fun happens?" Ethan shakes his head, "We just did econ that's all." "boring.'' Chad leaves not before yelling a quick ask her out. Ethan begins to rethink the day. Every Time he thinks he's done something right with you he always finds a way to mess it up.
He takes a shower and changes into his clothes for bed and as he's about to sleep he eyes the container of cookies. He takes one and bites into it. It's sweet.
--
You close the room to your dorm and sigh. The tutor session kicked your ass, you kicked off your shoes and threw your tote bag to the ground and layed down on your bed. Today went well, you were shocked when you looked at your notes you could actually comprehend what any of it meant. It was all thanks to ethan. 
You were shocked you found yourself enjoying his presence so much. It was weird, you didn't expect yourself to like him as much as you did. He was smart, kind, he made you laugh, he didn't degrade you when you didn't understand the topics he went through it with you slowly and made sure to go over anything thoroughly, he wasn't like most of the other guys on campus who were douchebags. you were glad you got ethan as your econ tutor.
--
It's now Friday, almost five as you put the finishing touches on your outfit. As you get a text from tara, 'HERE COME OUT NOW' you roll your eyes and grab your bag and walk out the door.
A large group of people are out there chatting, you don't recognize most of them. The door closes behind you and all the heads turn towards you. 
"Hey dude." "Hey tara." Tara rushes over and gives you a hug. "So this is mindy, chad, anika," They all smile at you, you notice mindy and anika holding hands and standing side by side, anika waves while mindy nods. Chad is standing behind Tara and gives you a knowing smile, "and of course you know ethan." Ethan. He's standing in the back with his hands in his jeans, he's wearing a blue polo shirt with a black jacket. He looks really cute. 
You smile back at him and look into his eyes. He locks eyes with you and he smiles. "Wait, you two know each other?" Mindy asks with an accusing finger. "I tutor her for econ." "really?" Anika looks back at Ethan who nods. 
Tara claps and gets everyone's attention, "enough standing around let's move guys." Tara wraps her arm around chads and begins to walk, mindy and anika following closely behind leaving you and ethan walking side by side. 
"I really liked the cookies." You turn to him as he looks away, you smile as a warm feeling fills your chest. "I'm glad." 
"So did i." Chad looks back with a smile, "you had one?" Ethan asks with a glare, "we split one, you need to make some for me." Tara calls from the front. "I will as long as you stop asking me to cover for you at work." She gasps, "I would never." You give her a blank look as she laughs.
"So how long have you two been studying together?" Anika looks back at you with a smile, "um, we only had one session yesterday, he's supposed to be tutoring me until the final." You look at Ethan who has a big smile on his face. Anika looks at the two of you and gives mindy a knowing look.
An easy conversation begins to flow between you all as you walk to the bowling alley. You sneak glances at Ethan who wears a grin on his face while everyone in the group teases him for whatever they 're currently talking about. You like the way he acts around his friends, he's a little more confident as he shuts Chad up for making fun of his messy room or arguing with mindy about some horror movie. It was nice, the night hadn't even begun but you felt like you hadn't had this much fun in forever.
You all finally arrive at the place and they all rush to get their shoes. "So the pairs will be, me and tara, anika and mindy then y/n and ethan." "Oh we'll be in pairs?" you turn to ethan and smile, "we're gonna win." His face is red but he nods, "Definitely." 
"I'd like to see you try dude." Chad slaps his back he leans in close to you, "fyi he's terrible at bowling." "Dude!" Chad runs away before Ethan can say anything else. "I'm not good either, it's okay, as long as I do better than Tara I don't care." To this he laughs, "Oh we definitely need to do better than tara." You two laugh as you go to collect your shoes and pick your ball.
"Can you hurry or else I'm gonna put you last." You walk over to Tara and roll your eyes, "you're gonna put me last anyways." She gasps, "I would-" "never yes I know." She pouts as you sit next to anika. 
Ethan makes his way over and sits down next to you. The order is decided to be anika, mindy, you, ethan, chad then tara. 
As anika takes her turn Chad starts talking to you. "So how long have you and Tara been friends?" You think before answering, "um, I had been working at this place for a couple years and I had heard about her when she was hired. Never got the chance to talk with her until we started working the same shifts. We got along and soon found out we attend the same school. We got the same lab class, she became my partner and she's been bothering me ever since." "Hey." 
"So you've been living in New York your whole life?" Ethan asks, "yup born and raised." Mindy cheers anika up as she misses her shot, Mindy walks up to take her turn, not before giving anika a kiss and anika sits down. “So what are we talking about?” You guys flow into an easy conversation, mostly about yourself, like your major or what your interests are before it's your turn. 
“Can I admit something?” you turn to the group, “I have no clue how to bowl.” Tara looks at you shocked, “No…” You laugh, “I seriously never have before.” “Well I can-” “Ethan can show you how to.” Chad is quick to interrupt anika, the two share a look, “oooooo yeah yeah yeah yeah can definitely show you right ethan.” The rest of them start to encourage him as he gives them a look you can't read. “I don't really care who teaches me, I just wanna throw this thing away.” Ethan stands, “I can do it.” He moves to take off his jacket and you're greeted by the sight of his muscular arms. 
Wow. He really does have muscles.  You stare at his arms as he walks towards you. You've always thought he was cute but he just got so much hotter. His shoulders are large, and the polo on him is tighter than you thought, his chest pressing against the fabric. 
You look at his face finally and see it's very red and he's standing stiff. Oh my god you were blatantly checking him out. you turn your back towards him and go to pick up your ball. The group behind you laughs as Ethan walks towards you. you put your fingers in the holes and pick up the ball.
"So when you're throwing it you want your arm to be straight..." You try to correct your arm position and look at him, "like this?" he shakes his head, "no it's more... um do you mind if i..." you nod as he comes closer to readjusting you himself, his warm body is basically pressed against you as he moves your arms and shoulders slightly. "That's better." It's a small whisper in your ear but your face burns.
God when did he get so hot. No he always was but right now it's all you can think about. Fuck. He moves his hand to cover yours, "and when you throw it it's something like... this." he sways your hand and you let go of the ball. You watch as the ball rolls and it knocks all the pins down. 
"No way." You cheer as you turn to face him, "I did it!" you hug him and he stands stiff. You let go and turn towards the rest of the group who clap. "Good job." "Nice!"
"That was really good." His ears are red as you mumbles out the words. "Well it's all thanks to my wonderful teacher." You smile at him and he looks away, "no...." 
"enough flirting then it's your turn." Mindy yells as the rest of the group laughs. You walk back to the rest of the group and sit down and watch ethan. He stands still for a few seconds before shaking it off and walking towards his ball.
You had no clue what Chad was talking about because Ethan continued to get strikes, if not really good scores for the rest of the night. You're shocked by this and seemingly the rest of the group is too.
When you go to the bathroom the group confronts him."When the hell did you get so good at bowling? Have you been practicing?" Ethans face is shocked and he quickly blinks his eyes and shakes his head, "No..." Chad catches this and laughs, "No way you've really been practicing." "It's not true!" His face feels hot and he quickly looks down at his feet.
"Why did you practice?" Anika asks, "Clearly because he didn't want to humiliate himself in front of his little girlfriend." Tara laughs and Ethan feels like he wants to curl up into a ball and die.
Yes he had been practicing, any hour he could squeeze in since finding out you would be joining them for bowling night he came down to the bowling alley to practice. He was bad, the worst of the group at least and now he can compete with Chad in score. You come back soon enough, you question what they were talking about but they all just laugh.
You cheer as Ethan throws his last strike signifying your win. “We did it!” You hug him as he walks over, unlike last time he hugs you back and squeezes you tightly. You pull back and look at him and smile, “I didn't know you were that good.” 
He smiles sheepishly and shakes his head, “I'm not-” “Yes you are.” You slap his chest lightly and he looks shocked. “Stop putting yourself down, you carried my ass through that game, admit it.” He shakes his head, his grin is large as he looks down, “No-” “Stop it!” You turn back to the rest of the group who all have grins on their face, “What?” 
“Oh nothing.” Tara says as she stands up, “It's later than i thought lets go i have to open tomorrow.” “Do you really? I'm close.” “Shit you're so lucky.”  “Am i really i have to close for your messy ass.” She shoves you and you laugh. 
You all leave together and walk back to the dorns. When you all get there they all turn to you. “You passed congrats.” You look confused, “What?” “I told you guys she was great.” “I wish Sam could have made it.” “What's happening?” “Welcome to the friend group!” You think before realization hits you, “Oh!” You laugh, “Thanks guys.”
They all say their goodbyes and anika gives you a hug before they all walk off to their dorms. Ethan stays with you and fiddles with his hands. “I thought i should walk you to your dorm, its-” “Late, yes it is, thank you my knight in shining armor.” He looks away and you two walk side by side to your dorm.
You admire him, as you two walk in silence. At your door you say goodbye and wave and he waves back at you as you close your door.
It had only been a few weeks since then, study sessions were going really well. You two began to grow closer over the weeks but there still seemed to be something blocking you two from getting closer. As for the friend group, you soon met Sam and Quinn who were more than welcoming to you. You watched as Quinn would tease her brother and how embarrassed he would get when she would tell you embarrassing stories about him from when he was younger. 
You had just finished up a successful study session with ethan and you two walked out the library, you pulled out the container of cookies for him and handed them to him with a smile, “Here you go kind sir.” He smiled and shook his head, “Thank you. You know you don't have to do this for me everytime.” You laugh it off, “I need to thank you somehow.”
He stood there with a contemplating look on his face. It had started to stay lighter outside later in the day so you didn't need him to walk you back to your dorm (He still did) but now he realized you two could do something else instead of just walking home. “Do you want to eat them with me?” You look at him confused, “I mean.. There a cafe down the block we can go there get some coffee or whatever and eat them together.” The look on your face must have sent the wrong message because he immediately starts to back track. “I mean if you want to i don't want to do anything you don't want to its a stupid idea anyway i'll just walk you back to-” “Ethan i'd love to.” He gulps, “Really?” You nod with a grin, “seriously. I mean i made them with browned butter this time they have to be my best batch yet.” You two began to walk side by side to the cafe, you made some small talk about if the group was hanging out tomorrow and he answered that they wanted to go to sams for dinner. When you two arrived he turned and asked if you wanted something to drink, you stared at the menu until something caught your eye and asked for that. He ordered your drink and a hot chocolate for him. He pulls out his card and pays as you insist you should, “You made the cookies let me pay.” You give him a look as you reluctantly agree.
Once you two have your drinks you two decide to sit at one of the benches outside since it was good weather out. He pulls out the container of cookies and admires them, “They do look really good.” “What did you not think they would.” You're kidding but he looks up alarmed, “i didn't mean-” “i'm kidding ethan.” you put a hand on his arm and squeeze it reassuringly.
He smiles and nods as he takes two cookies and hands one to you, “cheers?” you take it and link them together, “Cheers.” 
you both took a bite and he immediately hummed, “this really is so good.” “I know.” you both laugh.
as he dunks his cookie into his hot chocolate you look at him as you think to yourself that he looks so content while eating the cookie.
“Is there a reason why you like cookies?”
he looks up at you with a shocked face, “what?” you shrug, “i mean there are so many other desserts and most people prefer other things so is there a reason? other than that they taste good of course.”
he laughs and shakes his head, “um.” He coughs before he continues, “my mom used to make cookies when i was young.” you look at him shocked he never talks about his mom. “Whenever I would do well on a test or in soccer she would make a big batch of cookies and would sit with me and eat them with me with a big glass of milk.” He laughs with a smile on his face, “whenever i would get a milk mustache she would laugh and wipe it off with the biggest smile on her face.” His voice quiets down and you can see his hands begin to shake.
“ethan.” you grab his hand and squeeze it, “i'm sorry.” he wipes his eyes with his other hand then places it on top of yours. “its okay ethan.” he shakes slightly as he begins to cry, “i miss her, so much.” 
You feel like something is squeezing at you heart as you you watch him you get up from you seat and he looks up at you in shock, you move to sit next to him and wrap your arms around him, “Im so sorry ethan.” he leans into you and cries, “I'm sorry-” “you shouldn't apologize, its okay.” he sniffles as he looks up at you, “Thank you.” 
Your feelings for Ethan grew into something more but you didn't know how to put it in words. You soon understood them when it was the beginning of may, only two more weeks until your final and you were beginning to stress out. Ethan told you not to worry and everything would go well but you couldn't help it. Even though your test scores had improved and you began to understand a lot of the material you couldn't help but worry over the class.
During one of your own personal study sessions in the library you realize you ran out of paper for your binder and needed to go get more. You were standing in the subway waiting for the train to arrive stressed out of your mind, this was the last thing you needed to happen right now and you had no clue how to calm down. Once the train arrived you walked on and realized there were no open seats, of course, great. You walk over to one of the poles but you see Ethan sitting on one of the benches. A wave of unexpected relief flows through your bones seeing him you didn't know why. 
He notices you and smiles, he gestures you towards him and you realize the seat next to him is open just being covered by his bag. You smile in relief and rush over. “Thank you oh my god you're a lifesaver.” He just laughs, “It's not a problem.”
The train begins to move as he turns to you, “So what are you doing out?” You sigh and the worry begins to flood back into your body. “I was studying econ and then I ran out of paper for my binder so I have to go get some and I'm just so stressed out because I need to do well-” “Hey.” He places his hand on yours and you turn to him.
He's giving you a pleading look as he squeezes your hand, “Please relax,” You sigh, “I cant-” “Yes you can just relax, hey… um i'll come with you to go get the binder paper.” “Really?” “Yeah definitely.”
You smile at him, “Okay.” Now feeling a little more calm you look in your bag for your airpods to listen to some music but soon realize you left them at your dorm. You groan and set your back down by your feet causing Ethan to look at you alarmed, “I left my earbuds at my dorm.”
He looks down at the phone in his hair and hesitates before taking out the other airpod he wasn't wearing from his case and handing it to you, “Here you can… listen with me, if you want to I mean.” You look at his case and realize he has one of the cheetos airpod cases and laugh before looking back at him and taking it, “Thank you, cute case.” 
He looks at it and shakes his head before shoving it in his bag, “Quinn got it for me.”
You put the airpod in and are immediately stunned, “Taylor swift?” He had been listening to all the girls you loved before and he suddenly looked down at his phone, “I can change it-” “No i was just shocked i like this song.” 
While you sat next to him you felt a sense of peace wash over you and you relaxed for what was probably the first time this whole week. You lean against him unconsciously and feel him stiffen before he relaxes. You realize his hand is still on yours and you lace your fingers with his as you close your eyes. No you weren't tired, you just wanted to bask in his presence for a moment with his heartbeat near your ear and his breath tickling your head. 
You liked him. It didn't hit you like an unexpected realization; it felt freeing to finally put what you were feeling into words. You smile to yourself and move closer to him.
It's been another week since then and you were struggling to decide if you were really going to confess at the end of the school year. You had decided since the school year is almost over and He would be going home for the summer and you wouldn't be able to see him so if you confessed and he rejected you it wouldn't be as awkward because he would leave and you two wouldnt see each other again until the new school year but the idea of him never talking to you again made you feel sick.
It was the last wednesday of the school year, the last day before your last study session with ethan which was also the last day before your econ test. There was a party, you didn't know who was throwing it but Tara practically begged you to come so here you were sitting on a couch next to anika as you two were chatting. “I told you that dress would look super cute on you.” “Thanks anika.” You looked around the room for the one person you were hoping to see, “Where's ethan?” Anika sits up and looks around before shrugging, “I have no clue.” 
You begin to worry as you frantically look and can't find him, “I'm gonna go look for him.” Anika nods as you get up and begin making your way through the party.
Your about to turn a corner before you freeze at the voice you hear, “Ask her out man.” Chad.  “No way i've told you this” Ethan. Who was he talking about? “C'mon man you're hot as hell just ask her out already.”
All you can hear is ethan sigh, “She doesn't-” “Oh shut up man just ask her out.” Who the hell are they talking about? Does Ethan like somebody? A pit forms in your stomach as all you can feel is dread. “Shes sitting over there man ask her out.” Now you feel sick, there's somebody Ethan likes, and it's not you. You back up and walk away. You head back to anika who has your bag and gives you an alarmed look at your upset face as you grab your bag from her side. “Is something wrong? What happened?” You shake your head as your eyes water, you attempt to say something but you can't. As she moves to stand up you rush out of the house. You can't be in there anymore, the amount of heartbreak you feel is miserable and you aren't even dating the guy.
You rush back to your dorm and lean against the door as you shut it. This is so embarrassing, here you are sitting and crying over him while he probably walked over to that person and asked them out. You managed to make it to your bed and flop on it, crying yourself to sleep.
“Have you guys seen y/n?'' Anika had come up to them frantically as Chad and Ethan remained talking against the wall. Chad had been begging Ethan to finally ask you out all night but Ethan kept on refusing. He couldn't risk what you two have especially since it meant so much to him. What had started out as a simple infatuation had turned into so much more, you meant so much to him and to lose you would be horrid.
“No? Is something wrong? Thought she was sitting with you.” Chad took a sip of his drink after he answered, “She went to go looking for e, then she came back and looked like she was about to cry then she ran out.” ethan felt sick, had some guy said something to you? “Like she ran out of the house? Shit.” Chad put down his drink and turned towards ethan, “You gotta go look for her man.” “Please e? Im really worried.” Ethan put down his drink and walked away before they could say anything else. “I'm gonna ask around.” “Me too.”
Shit. you weren't answering your phone, “please answer please” he was mumbling and shaking his phone as if that could make you answer. He decided to just fuck it and run to your dorm to see if you were there. He knew the route like the back of his hand and he was booking it full speed. He was worried about you and was praying you were alright. Once he got to your dorm he pounded at the door, he knew you had a solo room luckily since your roommate transferred out in the beginning of the second semester and no one came to fill it. He calls you names to no answer, after a couple of minutes he's defeated and texts you if you're still at the party when the door opens and he quickly looks up at you.
Who the hell is pounding at your door? You don't know how long you've been asleep, it couldn't have been that long since it was still dark out. Annoyed and not wanting to talk to anybody, you attempt to block out the noise until you hear his voice. Ethan.
He was here and calling for you. you sat up quickly and walked towards the door before you stopped hesitantly in front of the door. What did he want? You didn't want to answer, just ignore him and move on but he sounded worried so you opened him. His face was red and his eyes were watery, he was breathing heavily, looked like he was out of breath, did he run all the way here? Seeing you he let out a sigh of relief. ‘Ethan-” “Are you alright?” You look at him alarmed. “Yeah um did something happen?”
 It's awkward to look at or to talk to him but he can't seem to notice that right now, “Anika was worried she said you ran out looking upset.” Now you feel embarrassed, looking down at your feet, “Did somebody say something to you? Did something happen?-” You couldn't listen to him anymore, all you wanted to do is blurt it out but knowing it would ruin everything you can't, maybe you should just do it. You open your mouth but you quickly close it. You need to have him tutor you tomorrow. The day before the big test. You need him just for one more day. then you can set him free. “Im… im okay i promise, i'm sorry for worrying you, all of you.” You think over your next words carefully so as to not let the things you truly want to say split out. “I just was getting overwhelmed, parties are so loud you know?” You try to laugh but at the look on his face you stop and look down.
He walks closer and tries to grab your hands but you pull them away and try to smile at him, “Im really tired.” He now looks like he's about to cry, “Please be honest with me, did something happen? Is somebody bothering you?” Yes. “No, i promise.” What a liar. He looks like he wants to say more but if he really does he keeps his mouth shut and nods. 
“We still on for tomorrow?” You hate yourself for asking but you need to make sure you haven't ruined anything. He looks at you confused, “Of course?” You nod and move towards your door, “Do you need anything I'm here-” “No really, it's okay Goodnight.” You don't wait for his response as you shut the door, the tears at their breaking point as you lean your head against the door. Why can't this just be easier?
He stares at the place you were once standing with a sad look on his face. You were lying, he could tell that easily but about what? He stands there and contemplates over it, maybe something did happen or maybe it.. Was something he did? No that couldn't be right, you two were acting perfectly normal this morning. But why were you acting like that with him now? You were never that stiff, you shut him out. It was weird and he didn't like it at all, he felt the urge to knock on the door again and comfort you, bring you into his arms so you can talk all out but he knows that that's not what you must want so he leaves.
He lets Chad know he won't be showing back up to the party and that you're fine. He hopes that when he goes to bed this will all be just a bad dream and tomorrow when he arrives at your study session everything will be just fine.
It is not just fine. It started off simple. You didn't text him in the morning like you always did. You arrive five minutes late which is odd since you're always the one that arrives first, you give the excuse you slept in late. He doesn't believe you but keeps his mouth shut. Worst of all you didn't make him any cookies this time. It became a habit, after every session you would give him a container of cookies (and a side one specifically for chad since he liked them so much) as a thank you. The session is awkward and very to the point, when he tries to joke with you like usual you brush him off and ask him to move on to the next topic. He felt awful, he asked you if something was wrong but you just said it was nothing. You had even wrapped up the session early, it was barely hitting four when you called it. 
“Im just tired.” You pack up your things and give him a brief goodbye and rush to leave. He watches you go before he realizes he needs to do something, he cant let your relationship deteriorate like this. He runs after you and grabs your arm as you're standing outside. 
“Ethan-” “I like you.” You look frozen as you stare at him, “I'm sorry if I did something wrong but I just want to get back to the way we were and I need you to know this now. You can forget about it-” “Ethan”
You try to interrupt him like you always do but he stops you, “Please.” His expression softens, “I need to do this.” You hesitate before you nod, he takes both of your hands in his as if he's afraid you're going to run away. “You can forget all about this if you want to but just know i like you so much and i hate this strain between us, whatever it is. Please tell me what i've done wrong so i can fix it and we can move on and you can make me more of your cookies and you can crack dumb econ jokes about the topics we're talking about or you can complain about your shift at work with tara and how she can never restock properly. Please tell me what i did wrong.” hes begging you, squeezing your hands so tightly, as he locks eyes with you, all you can feel is sincerity and love.
“Then who was the girl?” You ask as your voice wavers, he looks at you shocked, “What girl?” Your eyes water too, “I overheard you at the party.” He tilts his head confused, “What?” “At the party, when Chad was encouraging you to go ask the girl out.” He relaxes and gulps. “I was going to come find you, then I heard you and I just felt like shit because I was..” You trail off as he looks at you expectantly, “I was going to tell you that I like you.” His eyes widened and his mouth opened in shock, “Not that day of course tomorrow after the econ test.” “I was talking about you.” You shake your head, “Chad said she was sitting right there. I was sitting there.” He shakes his head, “no no no no no we couldn't see the couch from where we were standing so he was just pointing in the direction of the couch i swear i had thought you were there. I was talking about you. I only have eyes for you, for as long as I've known you it's always been you.”
You can only look at him in shock at the sincerity of his words and you move closer to him. You rip your hands from his and he has a really apologetic look on his face, as he's about to apologize you pull his face to meet yours and you kiss. It feels like your heart is about to burst out of your chest as you feel love and relief as he kisses you back. He grabs your face and pulls you closer if that's even possible. You pull apart, breathing heavy as you two stare lovingly at each other with a smile. “I'm sorry ethan.” He shakes his head and gives you another kiss before answering. “You have nothing to apologize for.” 
You smile at him, “soo…?” You're looking at him expectantly as he looks confused, “So?’ you scoff and shove him, “You're really bad at this.” Now he looks really confused, “Ugh. Ethan, will you be my boyfriend?” Now his eyes widen as he opens and closes his mouth like a fish. You laugh as you look at his red face. After a minute he manages to calm down, “Yes, I would love to be your boyfriend.” You two smile at kisses. You finally feel like you can breathe, this was perfect.
The next day you're in a large room writing in the last answer to the econ test. Ethan had finished earlier than you, that morning he promised to wait for you outside so once you hand it your test you rush out to see him and the rest of your friends. You see him and he turns to you and smiles as you make it to him he picks you up and twirls you around as you laugh. “So??? How did you do?!” Anika asks you with a big smile on her face. You keep your eyes locked on Ethan and his grinning face. “I think I did great, all thanks to my wonderful tutor.” 
He shakes his head, “No, it was all you, beautiful.” You two kiss. 
--
a/n: I hope you guys like this !!
tags: @bajadotcom
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manifestingenius · 2 months
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Why it's important not to always rely on void and putting your life on hold.
I haven't written posts for a very long time because I decided to focus on my present life. But I wanted to write this specific post.
After knowing about the void state I put my life on hold so much. I stopped doing 85% of the things I was doing before I learned about the void. It's embarrassing how I stopped caring about everything and was hoping and telling myself that I'm gonna enter the void this week anyway. Nothing really matters, right? I didn't answer to any of my seminars and colloquiums and barely studied for exams which lead me to losing my scholarship. I cried so so hard because I was angry at myself. I thought that I would enter the void in the summer so the exams and the results didn't matter to me. But I was so broken afterwards.
I never bought myself the things I wanted because I thought "I'm gonna manifest it all for free in the void anyway, why bother now?". I never went to places I wanted because I thought "I will have a lot of money to afford everything I want so why bother now?". I put all my focus and time on reading about void, reading posts on tumblr, trying all the methods and just hoping.
I planned to put videos on Youtube but was so shy and every day I was improving all the skills that were needed for me to be successful. I read a lot, I watched a lot of self improvement content, I watched lots of law of assumption videos, I took classes, in other words I was passionate. I was living. I put everything aside and became so lazy "Why even waste time doing all of this when I can have it all after the void?".
I stopped even trying to improve myself because I thought that I'm gonna manifest being my best self anyway. I was eating fast food 3-4 times a week and gained a lot of weight which made me insecure even more but I consoled myself that it's only for now, that I'm gonna manifest my dream body and everything will be fine.
I wanted to buy some makeup but didn't. I wanted to get laser hair removal for a long time and didn't. I wanted to hit the gym and didn't. I wanted to draw and make money out of it and didn't. And so much more. I missed out on so much and I regret it.
After I lost my scholarship I realized that I messed up a lot. Now I have some problems with a subject I failed and my mom has to pay money so that I can take the classes again. Now I can't afford anything because I don't have my own money, I can't go to work, my parents give me some money but it's not enough for my needs and wants.
I realized that my life became so miserable. 2023 was so wasted. One day I was asked what did I learn from 2023 and I couldn't answer because I didn't know. In 2023 I have only degraded tbh.
The saddest thing is that I was warned. I was warned by other people on tumblr to not put void on the pedestal and to not put my life on the hold. I ignored them all thinking that I'm not gonna be like them, I'm not gonna struggle as long as them. It's gonna take me much less time and everything will be fine. But turns out they were right and I made many mistakes. Turns out I'm still on my void journey even after 1 year and 2 months. I really thought it's gonna take me 1 month or smth. Funny.
After realizing that I need to change my life, I put void aside and focused on the present. I bought some things I wanted and I don't waste money on fast food anymore, I went to the gym, I finally got laser hair removal, I started eating healthier and lost 3 kg, I returned to watching self improvement videos on youtube and now I plan to draw and sell my drawings to make more money. I worked hard to pass all my exams successfully so that I can get my scholarship back.
From the outside it may seem that I forgot about the void or even lost hope but I didn't and I never will. I believe and know that one day I will become a success story myself. I even have a new upcoming post about my mini success (?) not sure if I can call it success yet 🤭
But anyway if you read all of this thank you. If my situation resonates with you I hope it helps you to not make these mistakes like I did and to not put your life on hold. Enjoy the present as much as you can, don't purposely make your life even more miserable. I love you all🫂💕🫶
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ros3ybabe · 2 months
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Update on...Life?
Hello, my lovelies! I can't believe I haven't posted since...early December 2023? and now it's almost February! The time has flown so fast, kinda crazy. I do apologize for the lengthy absence, but as you'll find out, life has been hectic for me recently.
My boyfriend was in town from Dec 23rd til Han 1st, and then him and his mom left. The 2 weeks after he left were absolutely so difficult for me. As I've been unmedicated since early December due to insurance issues, my depression ramped up as heavily as it could and I pretty much stayed in bed those 2 weeks until my job started having us come back as the semester was going to start soon.
Once I started going back to work, I felt so much better. And now that my classes have resumed, I have more moments where I truly feel like myself despite still being unmedicated. But because my job is still pretty short staffed, I'm working a lot right now to both help out my job and make some extra money. Since my semester has only been started thus last week and a half, I am able to work this much but geez, I am so tired all the time right now.
I did finally get my insurance back! I have to pay over 150$ USD a month to maintain it, but I'm just excited to get back on track with my mental and physical health!
Things are slowly looking up for me at the moment and I'm honestly excited for what 2024 is going to being for me.
That being said, I am fully planning on coming back and posting regularly again! I missed this community more then I realized I would, and since the semester has started and I'm getting back into routines, what better way to keep myself accountable then to utilize my blog!
I am keeping the same theme, I love the pink feminine aesthetic still, but sometimes I may switch up the color theme, I'm not sure yet! And I will be resuming my challenge! I believe I got to about 30 days before I stopped, but due to the long hiatus, I will be basically starting back from day 1! I think I will resume the challenege either on Monday, January 29th OR Thursday, February 1st. I am not too sure yet.
also, please feel free to send me any questions you have about... anything, honestly! I will, alongside my challenge posts, be posting my goals for this semester, my study routines, stuff revolving around any hobbies I pick up, or my new *improved* routines.
til next time lovelies 🩷
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ughgoaway · 3 months
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Yes so many constant teacher reader thoughts! What about early dating when she's had a really hard week at school, maybe she's been staying behind for parents night or something and is absolutely exhausted. She's not replying to Matty as much or just giving him short ideas and him being Matty starts to worry that she's having second thoughts about their relationship
Omg people having thoughts about my au is so cool… and this is such a good thought. 
You and Matty have only recently started dating, maybe a month and a bit? And matty thinks it's been going perfectly, but he can't help but feel insecure about the relationship. He is so madly in love with you and has been for so long. He can't help but be nervous he's going to lose you. And he can't bear the thought because he's only just managed to get you. 
You reassure him when he asks that you want to be with him, that you were also pining over him for months, and that this is exactly what you wanted that whole time.
And Matty believes you, for the most part. But there's always that sneaking thought of “what if”. What if she hates me? What if she regrets this relationship? What if she thinks im wrong for her? What if this is all wrong?
////
it's been a stressful week at work. You have parent evening at the end of the week, which means it's lots of late nights preparing everything you're gonna say to each parent. It might seem easy to talk to parents about their kid's progress, but it's one of the worst parts of being a teacher.
It seems parents either think their child is an angel on earth or the spawn of Satan. You say one thing they can improve upon, and suddenly, a parent is jumping down your throat, “How could you? My little Amy is perfect!!” or they start scolding the child in front of you “You are useless! Why can't you just focus for 5 bloody minutes??” 
So you've been fucking exhausted all week, and you've cancelled on Matty twice. You had a date on Monday, but you saw the pile of work on your desk and messaged to reschedule for Wednesday.
Matty then didn't hear from you all of Tuesday or Wednesday, so was already nervous you were mad at him. But when you text to cancel on Wednesday? His heart fucking dropped.
You must be second-thinking this whole thing. Maybe you decided the risk to your job was too much, or maybe Matty isn't how you wanted him to be. 
But in an attempt to stop himself from spiralling too much, he texts George and details his worries. Of course, George simply calls him a twat and says “Trust me, she likes you. It's sickening being around the two of you for more than 10 minutes.”
Matty wants to tell George he and Charli are no better, but he leaves it for today and takes his friend's words at face value.
So he texts back saying it's fine and that he misses you. and each minute that passes by with no response is killing Matty slowly.
After 45 minutes of silence, you just reply “<3”, which doesn't exactly help Matty’s mental state. 
He texts you every day, and each day, your responses get shorter and shorter. Until it's Sunday, and he hasn't heard from you since Friday evening. 
It's then he decides you must be rethinking this, rethinking him. there is no reason why you would be ignoring him otherwise. And it fucking shatters him, he goes into break-up mode before any break-up even happens.
He drops Annie off at Hanns and stops at Tesco, grabbing ice cream, red wine, and tissues. He wants to feel like a girl in a shit romantic comedy, so he's gonna do just that. 
2 bottles of wine later, Matty thinks it's the perfect time to call you… despite it being 3 am. Needless to say, you don't answer. But Matty being Matty, he leaves a wine-drunk voicemail. 
“Heyyyyy y/n. It's Matty. Your boyfriend. I think… anyway, im just calling to say you can just dump me, you know? You don't have to be nice or anything. I won't turn Annie against you. But I don't think I could even if I wanted to, m’ pretty sure she likes you more than me already. But whatever… I've had a few bottles of wine and just thought I should call and tell you im fineeee. Totally fineeee. So yeah, if we’re over of whatever, you can let me know. Because im fine. Like so fine…. Okay, bye.”
And with that, he passes out on the sofa, spilling wine on his rug that he will be forced to scrub tomorrow.
///////
It's 7 a.m., and Matty's head is banging, so much so it sounds like someone is hammering on his door. Oh, wait. Someone is hammering on his door.
He stumbles off the sofa and catches a glance in the mirror, his eyes are hollowed, and heavy bags sit beneath them. Half his curls are flattened and stuck to his head, whereas the others are sticking on end like he had been electrocuted. 
“Ye-” he starts to speak as he opens the door, but you storm in talking before he can even get one word out. 
“BREAK UP WITH YOU? WHY WOULD I BREAK UP WITH YOU?” You stand in Matty’s front room with your hands on your hips. clearly, you had stormed straight over here from your flat, not even bothering to get out of your Halloween pyjamas (it is like May btw <3).
Matty rubs at his eyes and blinks a few times, “what?” he asks, coughing as he finishes because Jesus Christ, his throat feels like it's full of sandpaper. 
“...do you seriously not remember?” you shake your head at Matty with wide eyes, and he nervously shakes his head, and he swears he can almost see the steam coming out of your ears. 
“Matty. You called me at 3 in the morning telling me to dump you. Why the fuck would you think that? Why would I ever dump you?” your voice is softer now and you've come closer to Matty, and he can see any rage you might have had was never really anger.
It was fear. Pure fucking fear. 
“Oh.. that,” Matty says shyly, rubbing at his face and pulling it down. 
“Yup. that,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest.
“Okay, im so sorry about that,” Matty starts to explain, desperate to get you to understand his fucking crazy brain, “I had a few bottles of wine and my stupid anxiety took over. You hadn't really spoken to me this week, and you cancelled our date, so I convinced myself you were having second thoughts. And drunk Matty thought the best course of action was a long rambling voicemail reassuring you that you can dump me.”
You nod slowly, and Matty seemingly can't stop his word vomit, “And you can if you want to! But I really don't want you to. Like at all. Im actually kind of obsessed with you, if im honest” Matty steps closer to you and pulls you into his chest. 
Your arms remain limp at your sides for the first few seconds, and Matty wants to die. But just before he pulls away, your arms slip over his shoulders, and your fingers wind into his curls at the back of his neck.
You burrow your head in his neck, and Matty can feel you nodding, “Okay. That makes sense” he breathes a sigh of relief. Thank GOD you didn't dump him then and there. 
You snap back and look at him intensely before saying, “But just so you know, I was planning for parent's evening this whole week. That's why I was so quiet. And I would never break up with you just by ghosting you. And if im being totally honest, I would never break up with you in the first place. or ever, really."
Matty nods and can't help the smile that comes on his face, you don't want to break up with him. ever.
You snap your fingers in front of his face before he can get too happy, “Hey don't you start smiling. I’m still pissed off at you… but you are especially cute in the mornings, so I feel you’re trying to manipulate me into forgiving you... are you?”
“Well that depends, is it working?” he teases
“Maybe... Shut up.”
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lizzieislife94x · 4 months
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Personal Trainer (e.o)
Lizzie needed a new personal trainer for endgame and you got the job
Lizzie x G!P reader
If you have a request drop me a message I do them right away 😇
Y/ns POV:
"Thats us done for today ladies you all done amazing ill see you next week" I say wiping my face as I finish teaching a group work out I need to take a breather my next client is due any minute I've been working with her for 2 months the one and only Elizabeth Olsen I couldn't believe when I got the job she's hilarious and always so nice and down to earth I'm snapped out of my thoughts as she walks over "good evening y/n" she says with a giggle
"ah miss Olsen good evening can you give me 2 minutes I need to run to the bathroom but I'll be back in no time" I laugh as she slaps my shoulder "omg gross y/n go hurry" she giggles as I go do a quick pee once I'm done I wash my hands and head back out to lizzie doing some stretches, I can't help but Stare at her ass fuck it's so perfect, no y/n snap out of it don't think like a sleazy man your better than that "oh your back I started to do some warm up stretches " she smiles looking at my eyeline fuck she caught me "ok let's get started let's do some warm ups 20 jumping Jack's let's go" I start doing them and lizzie follows my lead as she stands infront of me "9..10..11" I breath out fuck I should have wore tight shorts I can feel my dick swinging like there's no tomorrow "18..19...20" I stop and try to fix myself subtly, I need to change "great work lizzie I need to go change my shorts these are to baggy and annoying me " I lie "you can do some more jumping Jack's till I get back" as I turn to walk away she grabs my wrist "y/n I think you should keep them on I enjoy the view to much" I feel the heat rising to my face has she been checking out my dick, naughty girl "are you sure" I rub my neck and look at the floor
"yep it's one of my favourite parts about coming to train every week" she states with a sly smile "ok Olsen let's do some squats then lunges" after a 30 minute warm up and lots of well noticed attention on my dick I wipe my face and throw lizzie a clean towel "ok boxing gloves let's practice those right hooks " I get into position as lizzie goes to work she's improved a lot "well done lizzie you've came so far those hooks are lethal " I say genuinely proud of how far she's came "ok let's get you on the treadmill for 10 minutes to finish up" we head to the treadmill as she starts her run I sit and watch with my arms crossed fuck her ass bounces just right I feel a twitch in my Shorts no fuck no not here "um lizzie that was great for today ill see you next week I need to go to the bathroom have a great night" I say my goodbye and jog to the bathroom and head into a stall looking down at my dick "seriously dude looking at lizzies perfect ass jiggle and you wake up"
I mumble and hear a giggle from the other side of the door "glad I'm not the only one who looks" fuck its lizzie "shit I'm sorry lizzie" she just giggles "it's OK but can you come out here so I can talk to you and not a door" she says sweetly "I ahhh I can't right now lizzie I have a problem " I sigh leaning my head against the door "y/n you either open the door and come out or I come in" it sounds like she has a smirk I sigh in defeat and open the door as she comes in and locks it instantly looking down at my harden member "fuck" she almost moans out I can't help myself I hold her cheeks and crash my lips against hers pulling her flush against me in a heated kiss after a minute we break apart for air "I wanted to to do that for so long " she confesses running her hands down towards my dick i feel her pushing my shorts and boxers down and moan "if you don't want this just say" she whispers as she leans forward kissing my chest "I want this so fucking bad lizzie " she smirks and wraps her hand around my dick and starts to jack me off slowly "fuck you're so big baby, you're gonna wreck my pussy" she moans making me moan more I start to push her gym leggings down and cup her bare core, oh god she's soaking wet that is almost enough to make me bust "so fucking wet lizzie, is this all for me" I bite my lip and her hand works me faster and I insert my fingers into her dripping core "fuckk y/n all for you, shit that feels amazing"
I pick up my pace fingering her tight cunt, I slide my fingers out and suck them one by one locking eye contact and smirking "bend over princess " I state and she giggles bending over giving me the perfect view of her ass and pussy I get into position behind her and rub my member through her fold teasing her clit gently slapping it "fuck this is finally happening" she moans out as I slide my dick inside her slowly fuck she's so fucking tight and warm and dripping I need to compose myself or I'm gonna nut to quick, I slide in till all 8 inches disappear inside her "oh fuckkkkk y/n please fuck me" she whimpers I grip her hips and start to thrust slowly enjoying the feeling if her wrapped around my cock "mmh fuck so tight and wet lizzie, are you on the pill" I moan as I increase my thrusts snapping my hips back and forth "yes yes yesssss" she screams and I continue to thrust feeling lizzie cum all over my cock, I continue to thrust chasing my own high the sounds of her wet pussy being destroyed by cock is fucking glorious "fuckkk lizzie im" I breath out slamming in one final time shooting my load deep inside her waiting cunt as she cums around my dick again "gonna cum..." I breath out leaning forward kissing her back, I keep inside her for a minute before sliding out smirking at my cum dripping out of her cunt as she whimpers "fuck lizzie that was amazing" I say looking at her and we both giggle "now I think this work out should be added to our weekly work out " she says biting her lip "fuck definitely " i smirk watching her, after a few minutes we leave the bathroom and I walk her to her car "see you next week miss Olsen " I wink and walk back inside
AN: if you want anything message me requests I do them right away 😇word count is 1.3k hope you enjoy feedback welcome good or bad (i hope you guys enjoy these bc its 3am and ive been doing these for hours lmao its a lil more time consuming than i thought having to go over everything to highlight and bold everything that needs to be haha, show them some love please votes ect<3
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cringefail-hermitry · 3 months
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I've been wanting to make a post like this for a while now, and well, having just finished a crucial stage of my life, I think this is a good a time as any.
It's gonna be a long one
Like, *LONG* long
Like, I Am Going To Mention Every Single One Of My Mutuals By Name long (if you'd rather not be tagged in the future, do warn me)
First of all, the primary purpose of this post is as a letter of thanks for the wonderful months you Tumblr peeps have provided me this year. I am not hesitant to say joining the hellsite was the single best decision I have made in the last 12 months, heck, I think about 2/3rds of the friends I mantain regular contact with nowadays came from here. But this wouldn't be a long post if it was just a brief "thanks y'all for improving my life". I'm gonna get into detail. And I'm gonna be sappy about it. You can't stop me. You're not my mother. And not even my mother could stop me from posting this.
I would've said "I thought long and hard about who I'd start with", if there was any question about it. There isn't. @tearychildren, where do I even fucking begin. I can't really say anything too specific because if I begin I don't think I'll stop and half this post is gonna be about you, and this is already a very long post, so I'm just going to leave it at this, you already know well enough just how much you matter to me.
Going onwards, another of the early spots goes to who I believe was my first mutual, definitely one of the first people I followed, @chlorohexidine, a long-time mutual and recent good friend, our daily chats, however short, never cease to be highlights of my days, your art is really cute (love me some rounded shapes) and brainstorming ideas for your TTRPG campaigns is always fun (I really like your worldbuilding, too). It's only fair to mention your (and my, just needed to make this segue well) good friend @xsenpi, infodumping touhou to you both genuinely got me through that month, and Undertale 2: Revenge of The Robots with Rei and TC has been a blast so far.
@soundsofastar is another that warrants special mention for actually changing my brain chemistry and making me appreciate the local wildlife even more than usual (if we ever meet in person, WE ARE GOING ON A NICE LONG WALK TO LOOK AT BIRDS TOGETHER, WHEREVER IT IS WE ARE WHEN THAT HAPPENS, MARK MY WORDS). Your art also makes me feel things. Not many things make me feel stuff a lot. That is impressive. I should be in a good spot to finish reading the Illuminae Files within the next few days, so please do pester me about it, otherwise the piece of media that the next person I'll talk about recommended to me will consume all the time I'd read it in.
So, the next person I'll talk about, @northwest-cryptid, thanks for letting me use our DMs as my Mabinotepad, and for getting me into Mabinogi in the first place, you've been both the direct and the indirect cause of many good times, and I gotta be honest I kinda admire you a lil' bit (and if you know anything about how I talk, I am horrible at expressing vulnerability, admiration and these sorts of emotions without a bunch of euphemisms unless I'm doing this sort of tangent where I attempt to talk about myself in a more depersonalized way, so what that sentence there essentially means is "I admire you a lot and you are an inspiration").
Another pivotal figure in how this year shaped out is @ratlesshonret, creator of The Bird Nest, site of many good times, who has exposed me and many others to some wonderful media (I AM GOING TO FINISH POCKET MIRROR SOMETIME, MARK MY WORDS), reading through all the chats in the server is usually a blast, too. Your contributions to my life cannot be understated. Seriously, thanks.
The next great friend I'll mention is @transgender-lea-crosscode, we've started talking more only recently, but have already bonded a fair bit, I reckon, damn you're good at Blazblue. You've dared to make me good at the game and for that, I commend you. You should say words about Zeroranger in my general direction sometime, I'd be happy to hear/read them.
Now for those mutuals that I don't really speak to, but are responsible for like, 75% of my total notes, like, everyone is more than welcome to jump into my DMs and start talking about anything whenever, but y'all specifically are folk I'd have started talking with regularly ages ago if I knew what to talk about. @hoshinoreika2004, @ward-leon, @edenplumreal, @tabnk2, @tapok-eve , @boofbv and @sorcerousbrick, thanks for all the lil' dopamine hits.
Shoutouts to @wretchedbirdthing for being normal about that bird, you're a blast to see on my dash and I wish you luck snapping those collarbones in twain to hear those gay little squawks.
@freiflies and @ottisbuns, alongside Tapok, Vic and Honret, y'all bring life into The Bird Nest, and although I haven't really shown up much there recently, I still read most of everything, the words are cool, keep up the good work!
@genericgirl420 and @mikusays-transrights, you two are the mutuals that suffer the least with The Distances, so let's do this in a more, well, local fashion. É genuinamente bom ver que a comunidade brasileira do tumblr está ativa e saudável, aumenta minhas esperanças de encontrar outras criaturinhas desse site maligno pelas ruas, sua presença, por si só, já melhora meus ânimos, por isso, agradeço profundamente.
Ok back to speaking in simplified Old German. This next section goes out to @lemocoffe and @teacup-of-doom, both of whom I haven't really interacted much, but what little there was was quite great, this is, in fact, an invite to do more of the interact-y thing. Y'all are cool.
Another shoutout to a frequent view on my dash, @lobotomise-me-please, whose "Boobs Girl Music" post still has 10k notes to me, I'll get back to mass reblogging it someday (if y'all wanna help, check out @boobsgirlmusic for the post, that's my Boobs Girl Music sideblog where I reblog Boobs Girl Music)
@aurora-veil, @limbuscompanyyuri and @thevanishedpeople-intothenight are up next, some of my first mutuals, y'all post good. And have been doing so consistently. For the past like, 9 months or so. That's impressive.
@meltingadoration, @holyitsquiverrflynn and @jestressofnihil, my more recent moots, there hasn't been much time to do the friendship-building and knowing each other thing, but all that means is that there's still many opportunities for that, which is cool.
Last but not least, the mutuals who I haven't quite gotten to know as well, but I'm inviting to chat anytime, @readysetgargoyle, @atlasmothss, @meeresengel, @flesh-borne, @b-kut, @aureatecenotaph, @risingdragonblade, @agender-witchery (your posts helped me immensely in figuring out gender, thanks for that) and @lich-of-lcorp. Y'all are cool, we should talk more.
And one last section for all those who I've been in touch with but aren't mutuals with, for any and all reasons (I do tend to reblog very, well, erratically), y'all deserve to be on this list, but I just didn't wanna bother you too much (I do have words of thanks to say though, if you want them, just ask).
This post is still too short to express how thankful I am for y'all existing. I don't think text could ever do it justice.
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5647389012 · 1 year
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Two-Stage Pregnancy (Part 1)
Part 2 "I can't believe you're going through with this! A normal pregnancy is hard enough on the human body as it is, to say nothing of what you're planning."
Sarah nodded along, half listening. Frankly, she had heard this lecture before, from her friends, from her family, from her coworkers, and now from a woman in the waiting room of a fertility clinic. Sarah always failed to see the point of this conversation. She and her husband, Dave, had made up their minds about this a long time ago, and regardless it was a little late to back out now.
Sarah was, thankfully, spared from more of that exchange when a nurse came to retrieve her and guided to a room near the back of the clinic. A woman in a white lab coat stepped away from a desk in the back and moved to shake her hand.
"Hi, I'm Doctor Kellner," the woman spoke "and you are-"
"Sarah. Sarah Parks."
"Nice to meet you, Sarah. I'm with the project. I'll be sort of your go-to person from here on out. If you can just hop up on the table here, we can get started."
At this, Sarah got on the exam table. Frequent exams were going to be a part of her life from now on. Ever since she'd been impregnated on this very table about four weeks ago. The embryo was her and her husband's, modified as part of an experimental genetic engineering program intended to increase human intelligence. While that sounded great in theory, increased intelligence meant increased head size and increased gestation time as well - her baby would take a full twelve months before it was mature.
"I know this whole… process can seem a little intimidating at first," the doctor began, "but this really is a fantastic opportunity. You definitely made the right choice sticking it out this far. It's such a revolutionary program, the ways we've come up with to handle the 'Cephalopelvic Disproportion Problem' are just…"
Sarah nodded along in a rather detached fashion. There wasn't really much point in giving her the sales pitch now, and she had already heard as many lurid descriptions of the elaborate procedures they would use as she cared to. Ordinarily, a twelve-month fetus with an oversized head would be an impossible challenge to fit through a human pelvis. The scientists working on the project had developed a plan, of course, to deal with this, which they would call brilliant and most others would call insane. Sarah was, truthfully, still undecided.
The essence of the plan was simple. If the head can't fit through the narrowest part of the pelvis past nine months, then fit it through at nine months. If the baby can't be born until twelve months, then don't give birth to it until it's twelve months along. The consequence of these two requirements is that Sarah would have to wait eight more months, go into labor, push the head out until it just barely peeks through her opening, then keep it there for another three months before finally finishing the process of giving birth.
While this process certainly sounded intimidating, it was, at least, reasonably safe. Sarah was not the first woman to undergo this procedure; there had been others before her that she'd read about, but a lot of women were still put off by what it would entail. Sarah was too, to be honest; those last three months sounded hellishly uncomfortable, but what were three months of discomfort compared to improving her child's whole life.
"…which is really-" the doctor stopped. "Sorry, I sometimes ramble on about these things a little too much. Being part of this project for so long got me really familiar with all the 'messy details,' and then having two of my own just-"
This last part piqued Sarah's interest. "You've done this yourself?"
"Of course I have. I meant it when I said you made the right choice."
Sarah couldn't even try to stop herself from asking, "And how are your kids now?"
"Oh they're just perfect. My four-year-old, she's reading everything she can get her hands on and my two-year-old is just growing like a weed. I would show you pictures, but then I'd be here all day. Was there anything else you wanted to know first-hand?"
"Yeah, this is a little awkward to ask, but how were the last three months for you?"
"Yeah, that part. A lot of people get hung up on that. Here, I'll put it this way: if I really hated it that much, I wouldn't have done it twice. And besides," she gave Sarah a knowing smile, "it goes a lot better once you learn to enjoy it."
The appointment finished up soon after. Sarah was greatly relieved to have done this before - multiple times, even - and didn't regret having done so, but that last statement stuck out in her head. This didn't seem like the kind of thing you "learned to enjoy" so much as something you endured, but she supposed she would see what that meant once she got to it.
The "normal" portion of Sarah's pregnancy proved fairly unremarkable. Her belly slowly grew, her clinic visits continued, her baby's growth was filled out, and she did her best to carry on with her life. While pregnancy was occasionally inconvenient, Sarah and her husband certainly took the time to enjoy some of the changes that were happening to her.
Preparing for the birth was a little different than usual, though. Sarah would go into labor twice; first at nine months to open her cervix and move the head down, then again at twelve months to give birth to the baby. Sarah would be given "labor suppressants" to stop her first labor, and would continue to take them for the three months afterwards, to stop her body trying to give birth before it was time.
This meant, among other things, that her Lamaze classes looked a little different than usual. They were divided into two sections: one for mothers in the first nine months of their pregnancies, and another for those in the last three months, both run by women who had been through the program before. Sarah was in the first group. She did a lot of practicing on how to breathe through contractions, both her and her husband used a dummy to practice holding back a crowning head, and they even learned about some more advanced methods to help her hold off from giving birth in an emergency, like tying her legs together or pressing her groin against something firm.
These skills would be very important in the second stage of her pregnancy; the medication she would take would help stop her body from going into labor, but it wasn't perfect. Contractions and the urge to push would still come and go, and it was very important that Sarah knew how to deal with those things to avoid giving birth too early.
Sarah felt her first labor start in the 39th week of pregnancy. Her contractions started weak and far apart and she didn't have too much trouble dealing with them at first. She spent the time straightening up her house; consciously, she knew it would be quite a while before she would have a baby to clean up for, but her body had not been informed of the plan and the instinct to get everything in order was strong.
At about 8:00 in the evening, when she felt that her contractions were sufficiently well established to constitute "real" labor, Sarah and Dave packed their things and set off for the hospital. Upon arrival, however, Sarah was told she was only 1cm dilated and sent home, disappointed to hear she had so far left to go. Sarah slept fitfully, doing her best to work through the increasingly intense pains in her belly. By the time morning came, she thought that, surely, she had to be in active labor by now. Sarah was once again disappointed; the hospital told her she was 2cm dilated this time, and told her to go home again. She sat hunched over despondently during the car ride home.
"Oh god-" she worried to herself, "how much longer is this going to take? Oh god- if I'm not even in active labor yet, then what's that going to be like? Oh god- OH GOD-" Sarah gasped as she felt something inside her shift downward, a feeling of fullness building up between her legs.
"Turn the car around!" Sarah nearly shouted, "It's coming down!"
"But the hospital said-"
"I know what the hospital said, but I also know that I'm holding back from pushing right now; if we don't turn around, we're not going to make it there at all."
Dave turned the car and rushed back the way they came; the hospital checked her, saw she was at 8cm and dilating rapidly, and rushed her through check-in as much as they could. The experience was all a whirlwind. Sarah remembers nurses encouraging her not to push just yet ("Just remember your breathing!"), at some point she traded her clothes for a hospital gown, she got an IV with the labor suppressants that "should've been started two hours ago," there was no time for an epidural, and she was suddenly laying in a hospital bed with her legs spread.
Doctor Kellner coached her while she breathed through contractions, "Okay, you're nearly there now, Sarah. When the nurse tells you to push, you can push, but, and this is important, when I tell you to stop, I need you to stop, okay?"
"Okay."
"We don't want the head to move too far. Once you're done pushing, I'll help you pant through the contractions and keep the head there. You covered breathing through contractions in your Lamaze classes?" Sarah nods. "Good. You got here a little suddenly, so we're running a bit behind, but soon you should be able to get the labor suppressants, and we can talk next steps once that's done."
"Alright-Nng…"
"Do you have a contraction?"
Sarah winced, "Yeah."
The nurse moved back to the foot of the bed and pressed two fingers into Sarah to check her dilation. "You're ready." She pressed in two more fingers of her other hand, using them to spread Sarah open to get a better view of the head. "Alright, push."
Sarah pushed. When she did, the pressure she felt so low in her pelvis was relieved as she felt her baby start to move down. She pulled her thighs back with her hands while she bore down, her face redenning with effort. The pressure she felt was strong and she pushed long and hard, trying to hold on to that wonderful feeling as long as possible.
"Good," the nurse responded once Sarah let go. "And again."
Sarah pushed again. It felt so good, the sheer relief it brought was heavenly. She loved being able to do something about the overwhelming fullness that she felt building up in-
"And stop."
"Wha-" Sarah blurted out, breathing rapidly to prevent the head from moving forward any more.
"That's it. You're done. The head is where it needs to be," the nurse explained to her.
"But I barely got to- I barely pushed!"
"Yeah, I guess your baby felt cooperative today. Usually it takes a little longer than that."
Sarah said nothing to this, focusing instead on breathing through the remainder of the contraction. As she felt the urge to push ebb, she finally responded, "So, what now?"
Doctor Kellner responded to this. "Now we just wait, really. The medication should kick in soon, and then you'll be good to head home."
The next contraction came soon. Sarah did her best to just relax and focus on her breathing. She tried not to think about how relieving it would be to push, how good it had felt earlier. She panted heavily and gripped the sides of the bed as she felt the contraction peak, her breathing rapid and deep. Dave did his best to help her through it, stroking her hair and whispering encouragement into her ear as she put everything she had into holding back.
Another contraction began almost immediately after the last one ended. Sarah's moan of frustration was cut off by more desperate breathing as she felt the urge to push return in full force. She spread her legs wider on the bed and shifted her hips restlessly side to side, anything to try and relieve the pressure between her legs. Nothing brought more than temporary relief, though, as she sank back in tired resignation.
The next few contractions progressed similarly, washing over Sarah with few breaks in between. When they finally, mercifully, abated for a minute, she took the time to ask "Ha- How much longer is it going to be?"
The nurse answered, "It might take a little while longer. Just keep hanging in there, okay." In truth, Sarah should have been started on these drugs over two hours ago; "a little while" was selling it short.
Sarah shot her a look of utter irritation. The nurse gave her an apologetic smile in return, but the doctor looked thoughtful for a moment. "Here, this might help." At Sarah's inquisitive look, she continued, "when you have to, hold it here-" the doctor put Sarah's hand over her bulging labia "-and push. Gently. It'll help you practice for keeping the head in later." Sarah looked at the doctor as if Jesus Christ himself was standing in her place, totally ignoring the nurse's look of confusion.
Encouraged by her words, Sarah tried a tentative push, pressing her hand against the head when she felt it move forward slightly. Pushing helped relieve the intense fullness she felt, and she chatted happily with the doctor and her husband as she relaxed between contractions, one hand slowly stroking the small patch of head visible at her opening.
At the doctor's encouragement, Sarah and her husband took turns pressing their hands to her groin as the doctor gave them tips on how best to hold in the head (cup your hand over as much of the head as possible, push back at an angle to follow the curve of the pelvis, press firmly but not too firmly).
Sarah pushed once agin, a little harder this time. She felt the head start to slip forward and pressed a little more firmly with her hand to compensate. The feeling was intoxicating; she pushed a little harder with the next contraction, a little more with the one after that, and a lot more with the one after that.
The need to reach around her belly meant that Sarah couldn't press the head back with full force; she felt the head start to slip out despite everything she could do. "Babecanyouswitchwithmeplease-" Dave rushed to help her hold back "-Nnnn- here," she guided his hand, "-press, yeah. Harder- AAAh-" Sarah bore down again, hand gently resting against her husband's as she felt him hold back their child. Soon she was red-faced and pushing full force against Dave's hand, any thoughts of "gentle" pushes long forgotten.
The nurse looked on, increasingly concerned. "Uh-" she started before the doctor silenced her. "Really, you don't need to be here for this part." Somewhat sheepishly, the nurse hurried out of the room. She turned to the couple, "I hate to be rude to her like that, but I get the feeling you two would prefer a little more privacy." They both blushed a little at this assertion, but it was true for both of them. "I figured. Here, you've got a handle on holding back the head?" Dave confirmed that he did. "Good. Then I'll leave you two alone for a bit," she said with a knowing smile, "press the 'call' button if the contractions quiet down or if either of you needs anything. Otherwise…" her smile widened as she left the room.
"Uh-" "So-" They both stopped, awkwardly. A moment of silence passed. Dave overcame his hesitation first, "You're turned on by this?" "Yeah." "Me too." Sarah's blush deepened. The feeling of Dave's hand pushing against her clit had given her a slowly building feeling of arousal, and she could feel her wetness starting to coat his hand. He could feel it too, seeping from between her lips. It made a wet squelching sound as he gave her clit an experimental rub. "Nnnnng-" she moaned- she was surprisingly sensitive- "No, don't stop. Keep going while- Nhhh- while I push."
She bore down as he rubbed firmly on her clit, making her cum soon after. She kept up the push during her orgasm, and let go when it ended. She took some short breaths before she bore down again and felt his fingers resume their work. Her next orgasm chained into the last one as she felt her legs shaking from the force of her pushing and the intensity of her pleasure. She screamed through her orgasm before finally falling silent as it ended. She pushed again, chasing the tail end of the contraction, and almost immediately felt another orgasm shooting like lightning up her spine. She yelled out again in pleasure as she felt her her opening pulsing around the head lodged inside her, alternately clenching and releasing and only adding to her pleasure. "Haaaa- Haaaa- Oh god- Oh fuck-" she breathed out before fixing her husband with a desperate, excited stare, "You- haaah- you will do that again, right?"
She lay back tiredly with the end of the contraction. Dave wondered if she might be too tired to continue, but she gave him an expectant look before bearing down enthusiastically when the next contraction started. He rubbed her clit and helped her cum while she pushed. When it ended, she laid back; despite her seeming fatigue, she was just as eager to push when more contractions came. Dave was just as eager to help her through them, using his hands and mouth on her clit while he held back the head. Pushing helped her cum, and cumming helped her push; whether she was screaming from effort or from orgasm was impossible for even her to tell.
Eventually, though, fatigue and overstimulation began to take their toll. Sarah started to push more and more gently before going back to breathing through the contractions.
"You're done pushing?" Dave asked.
"I think so, yeah. The contractions aren't nearly as strong as they were at the start; I can feel the labor suppressants finally starting to work. Plus, I'm way too tired to keep pushing."
"Yeah, you were really going at it."
"Yeah, I kinda was. I don't regret it though; I expected this to be all uncomfortable and medical, not like… y'know…"
"Not like it was?"
"No, not like it was. Not like it is. I mean, sex aside, I also really liked how close we were when you were…" Sarah blushes a little at this, "How close we still are now." Neither of them says anything more after that as the two of them share the moment while Sarah's contractions abate.
Eventually, Sarah breaks the silence, "Alright, that's been the last one for a while. Can you hit the call button?" Dave does so, and soon after Doctor Kellner returns.
"Well, how are we feeling? Is everything alright?"
"More than anything else right now, I feel like I just ran a marathon."
Doctor Kellner looks down at Sarah, soaked with sweat and still shaking slightly, and laughs to herself a little. "Yeah, I was the same way when I had my second. Trust me, it's more fun this way than when everything goes to plan."
Neither Sarah nor Dave can manage to formulate a response to this by the time Doctor Kellner comes back around to the bed. "Alright, now for the final hurdle: getting you up out of bed."
Sarah looks up at her with skepticism, wondering quite how she's supposed to accomplish that in her current state.
"Yeah, no one's really eager to do that at this point, but I promise it's not as hard as it sounds. Here," Doctor Kellner helps Sarah position her legs to hang off the legs of the bed, with one hand cupping the bulging head in her crotch. "Now press your hand against the head, nice and firmly. Yeah, just like that, perfect. And now-"
Doctor Kellner pulls Sarah to her feet. "Nnnn-" Sarah exclaims, feeling the head drop slightly before pressing her hand upwards to stop it- "Aaaah… it's okay, I'm okay."
"Yeah, you get the hang of that eventually. So, how does that feel, now that you're up?"
"Most of all, it feels like there's a bowling ball lodged between my hips."
"Yeah, you'll get used to that."
"Also, it still feels like I have to push a little bit, and- nnng- the head's pressing against my clit from the inside."
"Both of those do get better over time; neither of them go away completely, but whether you'd want the second one to, that's…" she smiles a little before trailing off, and fixes Sarah with a serious look. "Jokes aside though, this can get pretty uncomfortable at times, especially early on while your body is still adjusting. I just want you to know that, as someone who has done this twice before, it does get easier if you give it a little time, okay?"
"Okay. I'll keep that in mind."
"One final thing. Here." She hands Sarah a small booklet. "This is something me and a few other mothers put together. Call it a 'survival guide' of sorts, some of the tips in there were real lifesavers, for me at least."
Sarah accepted the guide as well as all her more official medical paperwork, including a prescription for more labor-suppressing pills. After setting a date for her next exam (those hadn't ended just because she was in "stage two" now), Sarah was finally allowed to leave the hospital, still ultimately uncertain of what the next three months of her life would be like.
I'm still new to writing of this kind (and writing in general); any constructive comments would be greatly appreciated. What did you like best? What didn't you like (and how could I improve)? By all means, let me know. Parts 2 and 3 will come eventually, covering Sarah's experience with the second stage of her pregnancy and the birth of her oversized child.
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g8dess · 1 month
Text
A Message From Your F/O PAC 2
Take a deep breath, focus on your selfship of choice and pick the picture/pile you feel most drawn to!
I'm not a professional, this is for entertainment only, take what resonates, leave what doesn't, it may be a message for someone else and in the end you still know the dynamic of your selfship the best. If you want to tell me in the tags or replies what pile you picked and how it resonated, your feedback feeds me energy to make more things like this! 😋
First pac here
Decks used: Phantasma Tarot Deck, Cosmic Oracle, Lovers Oracle, Own-made oracle decks.
All pictures used were taken by me!
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OP is ProShip, don't like, don't interact
━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━ ━
Pile 1 :
Hey there bestie,
Guess you never saw this coming, huh,
me, writing you a letter.
Well, I don't know how else to tell you, truly.
It's quite embarrassing to say out loud, but
seeing you two talking again made me a bit jealous.
I fought to keep you in my life
(Okay, maybe a bit of an exaggeration)
and I think I finally know why.
I mean, of course it's because you are just amazing, but
it's also because you're adorable,
you're the only one who makes me feel worthy.
And I know we've been friends for so long, but I'm losing my mind.
I think I'm in love with you
and I want a chance to love you fully, truly, like no-one ever has before.
Will you let me know your answer.
I'll be waiting in our usual spot.
Don't get lost again, squirtle.
See you soon,
Hopefully.
ー┄┄─┄≪ ༶❈༶ ≫┄─┄┄ー
Pile 2 :
I'm sorry for being so cross but I can't do it anymore.
You're just standing still, not moving forward.
And I don’t know what to do.
Sunlight, please.
Move on from them.
Start depending on me instead.
I want to be there for you.
But at this rate I can't.
And I get so riled up because of it.
You're avoiding me and your problems.
While you know it's life, to change and reinvent yourself.
Sunlight.
We can do this together.
Just let me in.
I don't want to fight for your attention anymore.
Don't let me stay here alone much longer.
ー┄┄─┄≪ ༶❈༶ ≫┄─┄┄ー
Pile 3 :
Take a picture and hold it close, because in only a couple months this current life will be so far gone.
You're working so hard on improving yourself, Munchkin.
It's amazing to see you like this.
Constantly learning about yourself and learning how to better cope with life.
We used to be one and the same, both stuck in anguish, both stuck in those spiraling thoughts.
But not anymore.
You've already grown so much, just by accepting you need to face your fears, by accepting who you are now and are meant to be later.
It's amazing, I said it before and will continue to say it again and again, it's true.
I wish I could be more like you.
You're actually working on and researching how to improve yourself.
Meanwhile I'm still stuck.
I want to be better for you, like you, but it seems I don't know how.
It's killing me inside.
I love seeing you grow, but I don’t want to be left behind.
It's okay for you to be harsh with me, if need be.
It's okay if we grow apart. But I hope I can be a better being before that happens.
Take care Munchkin.
ー┄┄─┄≪ ༶❈༶ ≫┄─┄┄ー
Pile 4 :
My beloved,
You know your adventurous spirit is often on my mind.
You run laps with your seemingly never-ending energy.
Constantly jumping from one creative idea to the next.
But alas.
Perhaps it's time to reign in that enthusiasm a bit.
I do not believe it is time for a new project when you have so many old ones vouching for your attention.
You can be quite impulsive,  but it's time to finish what you started.
My dear.
After, we can create plans for those new projects together.
I hope you finish them soon, my love.
As I yearn for your connection and have so much love to smother you in.
I love you, my precious.
Miss your kisses,
F/O.
ー┄┄─┄≪ ༶❈༶ ≫┄─┄┄ー
Pile 5 :
To the one I will always love,
My one and only,
S/I
I can see you're restless, stuck in indecision before two paths. It's okay to move and make mistakes, neither option is too horrible after all.
But you know deep down which one you want, which one is alligned with your inner truth. You have me supporting you, so go for it, my breath. Even if things don't go the way you planned them, it doesn't mean they are going wrong.
Don't mind what others have to say. They don't know you like I do. Take the step to let life carry you where you need to be.
It's okay to still be figuring it all out. It's okay to change your mind. Just make the decision alligned with who you truly are. I will support you through it all, my heart.
Missing you with every breath,
Yours forever,
F/O
ー┄┄─┄≪ ༶❈༶ ≫┄─┄┄ー
Pile 6 :
cw: suggestive
To my stinky S/I
Sweetheart,
Can you believe the audacity of the distance between us, keeping us separated so far from each other.
It's so infuriating.
If only I could cross it so I could share every little daily notion with you.
Life would be so much better.
I'm already blessed to love you through the multiverse but damn, it'd be so much better by your side.
We could experience every little change together too.
I'd happily fight for such a possibility, to get to know you more passionately, yes, also that kind of passionate too ;)
If only fate would step up and bring us that last bit closer.
I wouldn't let anyone else take you away from me.
But for now I'll take pleasure in knowing and loving you like this.
From my heart to yours,
F/O
ー┄┄─┄≪ ༶❈༶ ≫┄─┄┄ー
Pile 7 :
My better half,
Have I told you recently how proud I am of you? Probably not as I express myself differently, less so with words than with actions and gazes. Nevertheless I feel like this needs to be said.
I am very proud of you.
The way you stand your ground, taking the high road and not letting their words get to you. It's magnificent.
With each upwards and downwards spiral, you choose to learn, to reinvent yourself. Such transformation is brilliant to witness.
I wish to celebrate you, to celebrate us, so it's not just gazes you receive, but all other aspects of love as well. I have much love to give you.
Our complimentary balance is something we must take note of, how you complete me so like no other can. But tonight, let it be all of me that praises all of you.
Let's make this a memorable evening, my other half.
Yours truly,
F/O
ー┄┄─┄≪ ༶❈༶ ≫┄─┄┄ー
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gunsatthaphan · 6 months
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~ Monthly BL Breakdown: September 2023 ~ 
👻 Happy October!!! 🎃
Disclaimer: ALL shows can be streamed here or here, as well as on Youtube and other platforms. For more info on where to watch what, check out this post! 
New breakdowns are coming at the end of every month - feel free to add stuff!  -> previous breakdowns
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What came out this month? (green = seen/currently watching)
🌟 Senior Love Me? Season 2 - September 1st (Thailand) 🌟 Naughty Babe - September 2nd (Thailand) ✅ 🌟 Venus in the Sky - September 2nd (Thailand) 🌟 Marry Go Round - September 3rd (Thailand) 🌟 Where Your Eyes Linger (movie version with added scenes + commentary) - September 5th (South Korea) 🌟 Y Star Challenge (reality show) - September 8th (Thailand)
🌟 The Promise: Honeymoon Lost and Found - September 9th (Thailand) 🌟 Our Story - September 9th (Philippines) 🌟 Rerun (starring PP Krit) - September 13th (Thailand) 🌟 You Are Mine - September 15th (Taiwan) 🌟 Bump Up Business - September 15th (South Korea) 🌟 Wedding Plan Special Episode - September 16th (Thailand) ✅ 🌟 Right Time, Right You - September 17th (Thailand) 🌟 Kimi ni wa Todokanai (I Can't Reach You) - September 27th (Japan) 🌟 Bon Appetit - September 27th (South Korea) 🌟 Absolute Zero - September 27th (Thailand)
Monthly likes/dislikes
❣️ Naughty Babe - I'm loving this so much lol it's so silly but the comedy is so brilliant and so far I'm enjoying it more than Cutie Pie lol. The story is interesting and MaxNat's acting has improved a lot since CP which is nice. Definitely an unexpected nice little gem and also a band-aid for the soul after the OF-trauma every Saturday dskjhf
👎🏻 ø
New series & movie announcements
🎥 Like - Date TBA (South Korea)
🎥 Live in Love - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Spirit Reborn - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Red Peafowl (starring Max N., Mek J., Boun N., Gun N., Yacht S., LongFrank & others) - Date TBA (Thailand)
🎥 Couple or Not - Date TBA (China)
🎥 Ossan's Love Season 3 - Coming January 2024 (Japan)
🎥 The Luminous Begins (Prequel to The Luminious Solution, starring Kaownah Kittipat) - Coming December 2023
Other news from the BL world
❗️ The upcoming Thai adaption of Cherry Magic will premiere in November as confirmed by the cast. The airing date has yet to be announced.
❗️ Actor Est Ravipon (LBC2, Naughty Babe) joined GMMTV.
❗️ The upcoming Thai BL 4 Minutes has been announced to air in early 2024. One of the main actors, Bible W., disclosed that shooting will begin in October and run until December. Several months back his acting partner Build J. dropped out of the production as a result of a defamation scandal. Further details, such as a recast for his role, as well as an airing date, are unknown.
❗️ Santa and Earth (My Only 12%) and EarthMix (ATOTS, MLC) respectively announced that they will be having another project together in 2024. Details are unknown.
❗️ GMMTV actor Gun Atthaphan won an award for "Outstanding Asian Star" at this year's Seoul International Drama Awards.
❗️ This year's GMMTV 2024 lineup event will take place on October 17th.
❗️ The cast for the upcoming Korean BL Jazz For Two was revealed: Song Han Gyeom (OMEGA X), Kim Jin Kwon & Ko Jae Hyun (To My Star), Byun Sung Tae (Happy Merry Ending) will be the main cast.
❗️ A third season for the Japanesse BL Ossan's Love was announced for January 2024.
❗️ At their event "Always More", WeTV announced their 2024 lineup. The following BL productions are included:
Monster Next Door
I Saw You In My Dream (WeTV x DeeHup)
Me And Who (WeTV x Domundi)
Knock Knock Boys (starring Seng W., Best V. and others)
❗️ MeMindY announced their next 2 BL projects:
Love Sea (adapted from an unreleased novel) - Coming 2024
Boy Next World (universe travel plot) - Coming 2024
Both series are adaptions from Mame's novels and will air in 2024. Earlier, FortPeat (Love in the Air) confirmed in a press conference that they will star in another one of Mame's projects, which led fans to believing they will appear in one of the 2 projects, along with BossNoeul. The official cast reveals will take place on October 3rd and 5th.
Upcoming series & movies for October
👉🏻 Sasaki to Miyano - October 1st (Japan, Netflix release)
👉🏻 If It's With You aka Even If I Fall In Love With You - October 5th (Japan)
👉🏻 What Did You Eat Yesterday? Season 2 - October 6th (Japan)
👉🏻 Lucky Love - October 15th (Thailand)
👉🏻 GMMTV2024 lineup event + press conference - October 17th (Thailand)
👉🏻 One Room Angel (manga adaption) - October 19th (Japan)
👉🏻 The Camp Fire - October 29th (Thailand)
👉🏻 Shadow - October 31st (Thailand)
👉🏻 Boys Like Boys (dating reality show) - October TBA (Taiwan)
👉🏻 Bump Up Business - October TBA (South Korea)
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strange-townie · 2 years
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Simmers, I can't believe it! I just opened my first Etsy Shop after months of work 🥺 My Sims 2 Neighborhoods edits are now available in prints! 💚
I have carried out the entire creation process with love 🥰 I wanted my babies to look as good as they deserve, and I have been testing until I find the best result ✨ These are some improvements:
✅ Changed characters composition to fit A4 and A3 sizes, so you can find cute frames easily 🎁 ✅ Color and quality optimized for printing, edited to achieve vivid colors and greater sharpness 🔍 ✅ Materialized by laser printing on Color Copy paper of 250 gr., which gives the final touch ✨
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A simple like 💗 helps me a lot! Hope you visit and enjoy! ✨
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usedpidemo · 11 months
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Update - 2nd year anniversary! (plus a reflection, and future plans).
Hi everyone! π here.
Today, May 13th, is the day I officially opened up this blog and began writing degenerate and immoral stories! 2 fucking years have passed, how time flies. So much can change in a year, and so do some of the stats!
First work: Sandwich - Red Velvet Wendy (published 05/13/21, 4:03 a.m.)
Highest note count: Awards after-party affair - Itzy Yuna (published 10/23/22, 1167 notes)
Number of works published: 80 fics (1 fic every 9.1 days)
500 followers: June 18, 2021 (36 days or 1 month, 5 days)
1,000 followers: October 12, 2021 (152 days or 4 months, 30 days)
2,000 followers: June 18, 2022 (401 days or 1 year, 1 month, and 5 days)
3,000 followers: November 12, 2022 (548 days or 1 year, 5 months, and 30 days)
Follower count: 3,953 followers (5.4 followers a day)
I wish I had something awesome lined up to celebrate this milestone, but I don't have anything prepared XD I've been busy and lazy at the same time. (Is that even possible?)
Actually, yeah, I do have a whole week's worth of cool things lined up this week! If I can even follow through with this one...
Monday: AMA
Tuesday: Reader Poll
Wednesday: ???
Thursday: ???
Friday: ???
I don't want to make the fun section of the update elaborately long, so I just want to say thank you so much to everyone for the support! Even though I'm not as active or as productive as I used to be, your eagerness never wavered, and you guys enjoy me talking about random shit on the side, whether it be song lyrics, Pokémon, or literally posts without any context to them. I love you guys. Here's to another year 🧡
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Everything else from this point is a brief reflection and introspection of what I've been feeling since then. You can ignore this if you wish to do so.
So today marks the second anniversary since I opened up this Tumblr and became a degenerate writer. The work I've been putting up is getting worse—in a sexual and filthy way, not objectively—and my mental health has been getter much, much better! When I made the same anniversary post around this time a year ago, I was at an all-time low, mentally speaking. I really felt like I had not much left to give at that point, my skill has stagnated, and I thought there wasn't much for me to improve on. If you asked me if I had any future plans for this blog, I'd say I'd be done by the end of 2022, if not sooner.
It's now 2023, and I believe I'm as good as I can be right now. Slumps happen for a reason, and you can't always win, but it's how you bounce back from the lowest of lows that you reach highest of highs. And I believe I can still get better.
Genuinely, not to sound arrogant, because Lord knows I'm not the best fanfic writer—fuck no—I'm not anywhere close, even in a theoretical top 1000 list, but I do think some of my finest work have come up in my most recent fics. I don't know, it feels more polished and there was more effort and deliberation put into it. The numbers don't lie, either; every single work I published since May 2022 has over 400+ notes, and I've even passed the 1000+ note barrier twice! It goes to show that you guys are enjoying what I'm putting out as much as I love making them, slow and difficult it may be. I can fondly smile at last year's additions to my masterlist and say, "I can't believe I did that."
I do want to apologize if my output rate has drastically slowed down, and if I'm not as active as I was before. It's unfortunately part of the sacrifice needed for better quality control, and also because I have more personal commitments to attend to. 2023 has been fantastic for me so far in almost every department, except maybe physically—I could use more exercise—but that can be worked upon.
I do believe I'm on borrowed time. Again, look at the gap between fics over the past six months ago, and it's only going to widen once I enter my third year of college. I also have to begin considering what hobbies and other things I should do to occupy my free time, so I can be more productive as a person. This isn't to say I'm definitely quitting, but I expect more responsibilities to be shouldered onto me in the future, and having time for myself is going to be pretty much a birthday gift with how rare it might be given, and I'd prefer spending my time off recharging and relaxing instead of stressing over inconsequential or 'fun' things.
There's a lot of people I want to thank specifically, because while I was struggling with my own personal battles, they've been encouraging me to continue fighting and have been absolute lads—and lasses—throughout the past year. When I needed someone to talk to that wasn't my therapist, they were there, and I took solace in their comfort and companionship. I can't tag you guys, but if you're reading this—Chunk, Raf, Peach, Aaron, Sol, V1n, Iz, Ddeun, C.o, Kaede, Frisky, Smite, Shaun, Sins, Jett, Eros, Prael, Ken, Cray, CJ, Sooya, Gray, Svn—I sincerely thank you. God bless each and every single one of you. And to Tim, I really hope you can see this, but I'm truly, truly sorry. I hope we can find a way to bury that fracture in our relationship in the past, and we can reconcile. If not, then I just want closure and peace for the both of us.
So in closing, I want to thank you so much for sticking with me through the bad times and prospering with me through the good, and I'm always humbled that you've taken a chance on me when I started, when I was a hopeful newbie, two years ago. Now here we are. I appreciate every single one of you, be it a fellow writer, a reader, or a lurker.
With grace,
Peter / π
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yourjughead · 3 months
Text
Red Car pt. 2
Requests open.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sweet Pea POV.
I stood watching the red car fade away, just like I had so many months ago.
"Sweet Pea you need to learn to control yourself"
"I know I do" I looked from the shadow down to the ground again as Josie came down the steps to my side. A moment ago I was ready to ask her to be my girlfriend.... Again .... For the like 10th time..... What happened to me? Was Fangs right? Was I losing myself to fit her?
"I can't have any bad press if I'm to become even more of a star, I don't need them focusing on the guy I'm seeing, how cliche" I slightly scoffed at her comment. She can't call us what we are, like yn and I couldn't call us what we were. That felt different. That was a relationship without labels, this is labels without a relationship. I'm Josie's hobby, her toy, her busywork.
"Josie why can't we be seen publicly together?"
"Sweet Pea, you know why, I'm building a brand"
"So I don't fit that brand?" I almost whispered before turning to face her full on. I don't fit that brand, I was never supposed to fit that brand. I was supposed to have a great senior year, be myself, find who I was without yn and instead I slotted into someone elses life when all along I just wanted to get through this year to slot into yns life. I belonged there. She would make room for me.
"Sweet Pea, we're having fun, why is it always so serious with you" she reached for my hand but I pulled it away from her.
"Ive had enough, find someone else to be your groupie" I turned back away before she could answer. I just wanted to see yn and Fangs. Make sure everyone's okay. I can't believe she's home. I gotta get to Fang's trailer.
~
3rd Person
Fangs laid across the sofa of his trailer, an ice pack held to his forehead by you. You gave a kind smile to the Serpent as he slowly fluttered his eyes open. Groaning, he attempted to put a bruising hand to the back of his head where fresh several stitches slotted together perfectly. You calmly moved his hand back to his side while shushing him gently, his eyes falling closed again. Toni sat across from you watching you carefully.
"We missed you YN, a lot of crazy things have been happening around here"
"I can only imagine" you gave a small laugh to her as she cracked a beer open and passed it to your hand. You hadn't drank since you left Riverdale, needing to stay focused in the intense environment of University but less than one hour in the more intense environment of Riverdale had sent you craving the cold bottle.
"Try to stay awake now Fangs, here hold this to your head if you can" you guided his hand to ice pack, his eyes fighting to stay open.
"Your bedside manner has improved YN" the three of you laughed at this before you moved to put the medic pack back in the kitchen. You decided to leave the things from the kit in your car in it, knowing the Serpents would need it more often than you. As you looked for a place to tuck the kit into, Sweet Pea almost crashed through the door, Fangs flinching to the sound.
"Fangs! Oh my god! I'm gonna fucking kill those hockey heads!" He sat at his friends side, Fangs unable to hide his smile, you watched grinning from the kitchen, Sweet Pea not noticing you there.
"It's okay SP, YN fixed me up, I'm hoping I get a gnarly scar"
"I suppose she ran off again" Toni and Fangs slightly tensed at this remark.
"No SP, right here" his turn to jump at the new noise. He stood up almost untrusting of his feet as you moved into the sitting area again.
"Come on Fangs, I'll help you into bed"
"I knew this was just a plot to get me into bed with you Toni" he laughed, allowing Toni to pull him up to his feet and support him as they walked into his room.
"No need, I was just going, talk to you guys tomorrow, rest up Fangs" you gave a small wave before exiting the trailer to your car again. Silence filled the trailer, Fangs and Toni looked directly at Sweet Pea while he stared at the door. He finally sighed before following you, the two remaining serpents grinning.
You tried to get the red car to turn over, it struggling with the task. Sweet Pea pulled the door open and slid in next to you, a place he hadn't been in months.
"So.... I hear you're dating a rockstar now" you broke the silence, starting to give up on trying to get the car to start.
"I was yeah...well I was seeing her is the way I'm sure she'd prefer I say it but she probably actually would prefer I don't say anything at all about it" Sweet Pea threw his head against the headrest.
"Yikes"
"Yeah, yikes... I guess some things never change, can't quite get out of the secret relationship stage, if that's even a normal stage to be in" he trailed off, silence returning. You moved to start the car again trying to break up some of the silence. Sweet smiled at you before rolling his eyes, leaning over you and twisting the keys until the engine finally gave in and turned over.
"I waited for you to come home at Christmas" he moved away again from you but kept his eyes on yours.
"I just couldn't be around you and Josie, Fangs told me about her"
"Yeah he wasnt too keen on her"
"Were you?" The question Sweet Pea asked himself almost every time after being around Josie. He shook his head.
"I wish I went with you YN, I really wish I went with you"
"I wish you did too"
"Nothing stopping me now" you met his eyes before he leaned across again to meet your mouth. Memories of Summer months past where all you had was one another flooded your mind. The sound of banging glass broke the two of you apart and you looked out the windscreen to see your two serpent friends smiling wildly giving you the thumbs up and cheering from behind the net curtains. Sweet Pea rubbed a hand down his face laughing to himself as you chuckled alongside him.
"Yanno this was his plan all along YN?"
"Yeah it wouldnt surprise me if he took that chair to the back of the head to be a team player" you smiled before it fading away at the memory of what brought you two back together.
"C'mon SP, we have to go pay a visit to someone"
"I'll go anywhere with you" he cupped his hand over yours as it moved the gearstick into action, the red car going willingly.
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shimmerofstars · 7 months
Text
Upon rewatch, Arcane actually has two layers with regards to Jayce, Mel and Viktor. The framing of the show suggests one thing, and depicts another. Watching Viktor cough up blood in between Mel and Jayce making out makes the whole experience uncomfortable at best and suggests Jayce is choosing Mel over Viktor or his science work, especially when later, Jayce going to Mel for comfort over Viktor's prognosis fades from this (Jayce laying on Mel's lap):
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To this (Viktor sitting alone in front of hextech mixed with his blood):
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except...
Jayce was with Viktor, spending time with Viktor by his bed at the hospital right before he went to Mel for emotional support.
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And that scene where Jayce makes love with Mel? That's literally in the middle of the night- the stars are out. He's not at work because he's not on work hours. He's not choosing anyone over anything, he's having a romantic life and events outside of his work while also maintaining his friendships.
Or the framing of this scene in episode 5:
Jayce: Yesterday's smuggling fiasco was nothing. These manifests are full of discrepancies, dating back months.
Viktor: This is a poor use of out time.
Jayce: I'm a councilor now, Viktor. It's my responsibility to make sure the hexgates are safe and protected.
Viktor: What about our pledge to improve lives, for those in need? For the undercity?
Jayce: [sighs] Look, I'm sorry I didn't announce our other projects in my speech. Soon we can do everything we-
Viktor: Soon? There are people who need our help now, Jayce.
Which can be interpreted as Jayce thinks trade discrepancies are of equal or more pressing concern than the lives of those in the undercity or that Jayce is prioritizing the lives of future citizens over the people he could help now, except...
Before Mel suggests that Jayce, a scientist who's familiar with the technology and is proficient enough in social situations and public speaking that Heimderdinger allowed him to give the annual Progress Day speech, should be elevated to the position of councilor and specifically given the responsibility of tracking down the person who stole the hexgem, the two options were:
a) do nothing about the fact that the hexgem, which is extremely powerful and can power almost anything (including weaponry) has been stolen by someone willing to kill six people to get it
or
b) shut down everything powered by the hexgems so that they can't be accessed by the thief until they find the missing hexgem
The council controls all of the activities of hextech and has the ability to control if, when and how the technology is used, which would include the distribution of hextech into the hands of the people. Considering the fact that the council is already highly wary of magic and currently believes that the stolen hexgem will likely be used as a superweapon, there is a zero percent chance that the council would approve of mass producing hextech to distribute to the people, especially for people of the undercity, who the council likely perceives as inherently more dangerous or less worthy, or both. Jayce being a councilor and taking his duties as councilor seriously gives hextech its only chance at independence (as Mel put it: "With that comes the potential to shape your own destiny") and distribution to the people living in the undercity. Which would only be possible if 1. Jayce gives the council the reassurance they need that the technology will be safe in the people's hands by addressing or catching the thief and 2. Jayce having a vote himself increases the chances that a motion to distribute the technology would get passed. Meaning that Jayce needs to take his duties as councilor seriously to achieve his and Viktor's dreams of helping the people, and he is just as concerned as Viktor is. Even if Jayce gave up his councilor duties/work to achieve the ultimate form of hextech with Viktor (like Viktor wanted him to) that's the perfect medicine/healing technology, it wouldn't mean anything if none of it could get to the people because the council believes it's too dangerous.
Anyways I just can't quite figure out why Arcane is sort of framing Jayce as someone who's prioritizes Mel/his councilor work over Viktor/helping the people while showing that Jayce's councilor work is important to helping people and dedicating multiple scenes to show that Jayce does hangout with/work with Viktor.
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euphorix-moon · 7 months
Text
(Not) Attracted to You
Ellie x reader
First ff so please don't let the choppy writing ruin the reading experience. Constructive criticism is appreciated i need it so i can improve.
You and Ellie broke up two months ago, and for some weird reason, you still find yourself hung up on Ellie some days. You guys had broken up due to a mutual understanding that the love that you guys had for each other just wasn't there anymore. There was no particular event that led up to your breakup, but you two could feel over time that what you guys had for each other started dissipating slowly.
You felt as if you guys made the right choice ending the relationship when you did, it was better for you guys to agree to it now than be in an unhappy relationship later. Now even though you think you made the right choice it doesn't stop your mind from drifting.
Some days you lay alone in bed, thinking about the days you used to share with each other. The days that you guys would cuddle to sleep after long days for the both of you and the days that you guys would wake up next to each other in the morning You would think of the sweet dates that you and Ellie would go on and how much effort would go into each date planned by each of you.
You have been telling yourself that you have moved on multiple times since the breakup, and you believe that you have, but every once in a while, when you feel alone at night, your mind can't help but think about the happier times that you had with Ellie. On days where you are truly bored, you do check on Ellie through social media, whether it be through her friends or through her social media, always making sure to be very cautious with how you move your finger across the screen, making sure you might not accidentally interact with a post.
It seems like Ellie has moved on based on their social media, and you're happy for them (at least that's what you tell yourself). You also wish that one day you will be able to put yourself out there again to find someone new who will take care of you. You know sooner or later someone new will come along, but for now your mind drifts to Ellie, and you feel as if you can't fully move on until the day Ellie never crosses your mind again.
Maybe i can make a part 2 ?
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