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#cannibalism is romantic i hope you understand
2dieavirgin · 1 year
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my hungry ass could never be a surgeon
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talkbycolor · 4 months
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john doe game headcanons . . . ↷
A/N; i'm actually really sensitive about john doe JHSAJHSAJAS
Pairing; "John Doe" x GN!Reader
CW; Just doe being the weirdo we love / PISSPISSPISS / implied cannibalism? not so much tho / ew stinky gay / sex with a hairball
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john doe as a partner.
His love for you is pure, but the lack of understanding in humans makes it complicated, he doesn't know how to express it in a "correct" way.
He has little interest in humans but all his interest in You, do you want to learn to play an instrument? Doe too, he would learn to use a phone to call you although it would be useless since in the end he would follow you to work, he can't stand having you away for even a second!
He tried to eat you (unfortunately not in a sexual way), he wanted to bite, pull your teeth, and tear them out of your cheeks to eat them, you had to use a lot of patience to explain to him that this was painful and you could die
He likes your fluids, your sweat smells so good, it tastes great, your tears, he knows that tears mean something is wrong but he can't help but want to lick them, at least he's like a puppy in that way and that will make you laugh, Doe wants to help! your urine, he will drink it all without a problem, if you are both having a loving session in bed and you want to go to the bathroom, forget it, he will open your legs and help empty your bladder, he loved being your personal toilet, your blood is the sweetest of his paradise, be careful with accidental cuts or his mouth will stick like a leech to your wound
Ideas for romantic activities will probably come from television, be careful what he watches
At this point, Doe lives by and for you, he will adapt to your lifestyle and tastes, although he cannot understand most of them, the idea of "breaking up" does not exist in his head, you can walk away, even stop talking to him and he will continue behind you
But he has feelings, why don't you talk to him anymore? Did he do something wrong? He no longer leaves rats in the kitchen, he no longer tries to make You dinners with raw meat, is that the way he looks? Tell him your standards! Doe will change everything for you, even reality
He can definitely purr, he's more like an old, ugly, stray cat that will rest on your lap, but he's YOUR, old, ugly, stray cat.
He doesn't know how to give compliments, it's more like observations or comments about how you make him feel "You're wearing a big hat!" "A red dress!", "I'm so happy to see you!" but it's adorable that he reminds you that you are his whole life…somehow
It's like having a child at home, in the strangest way possible, he will try to make horrible crafts for you and help with housework without much success.
If you demand sex, Doe would probably do his best to make a nice cock, just for you, or a pussy depending on what you like, he will be submissive but if you ask him to take control he will try
And that will probably be the messiest and hardest sex you've ever had in your life, Doe always adores you like it's your last day on earth so in a sexual sphere it would be ten times worse
If you put on a movie at night, he will fall asleep halfway through, no exceptions, the sound of the television and your smell will be enough
Doe would definitely kill for you, he doesn't understand jokes so please don't say "Ugh I hate that guy, I hope he's dead" because yes, the guy will be dead.
In case You doesn't like the smelly boy, Doe will try to take showers regularly, at least to not smell like something out of the sewer, the pain doesn't matter if it's about you
Loves physical contact and quality time
Surprisingly, Doe has a driver's license, he would be your personal chauffeur, you may think it's an adorable gesture but he just wants to be sure where you are at every hour of the day… and help, of course.
Aside from adoring you, Doe actually has his own tastes and hobbies, he HAS feelings! He has tried knitting since the technology is very confusing, he really is like an old man
He tries to have a good relationship with your friends and family, if you have a big family he will probably feel overwhelmed but that doesn't mean he will stop trying to show that he loves you and wants to be with you.
Your younger nephews love it, they think of Doe as a weird-looking uncle who lets them play with his hair
Doe shirt always has hearts when he looks at You.
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cannibalbuffe · 1 month
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hi! I've honestly been craving some qpr headcanons with Alastor as someone who's also aroace! The concept piques my curiosity so much considering most of the stuff with him is purely romantic (no offense to those writers, I just wanna see more qpr stuff! :])
Of course! But do forgive me, annon, I got so carried away with this 😅. I just really like Alastor a lot.
I ended up writing some backstory to your relationship first, but I highlighted the start of the proper qpr headcanons if you feel like skipping that.
Obligatory I'm sorry if this is ooc, I'm still getting used to writing about these characters. This is also all based on my own perception of him.
(Also, I am aware that qprs are very different from one another and there is no single mold for a qpr, I'm just going off of what I think it would be like with Alastor.)
Uhh, I also finished this at 1 AM, so forgive any mistakes. And I'm pretty sure I changed the verb conjugations(? Is this how you say that in English?) from present to past at some point. Sorry. Enough with the A/Ns now. Hope you enjoy!
Alastor queerplatonic relationship headcanons
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(gender neutral reader, Alastor x reader)
‼️Trigger-warning‼️: mentions of cannibalism (not graphic), a single mention of tongue-kissing and making out (spoiler: he doesn't want either of those things in this work.) Usage of the word queer, but not as a slur. Alastor is a grandpa and you have to explain LGBTQ+ stuff to him, but he gets it.
› At first, before you were close, it's likely that he didn't see you as an equal.
› Truly, in his eyes, it seems not really is his equal. He is the most powerful overlord in hell and he knows it.
› Unless you are someone he holds in high regard (and this is mostly based on vibes, barely anything to do with power, as we can see by how he is with Lucifer of all people) before your first meeting, like Zestial, you won't be on equal footing at first.
› You only really start getting close when his perception of you shifts.
› You respect his boundaries, you are interesting, you and him share quite a few interests (or not really, but you're at least interested in hearing about his), and you're, surprisingly, pretty wise and mature.
› And caring. I personally believe he would be drawn to that in a way that he may not even understand fully- or realize it at all.
› Still, the point is. He respects you, and you respect him.
› (And not in the way some others do, where they're only "respectful" out of fear. You would act like this regardless of his power.)
› This, by the way, is important. You don't treat him like a superior, but as an equal.
› You'd think someone like him would love to be treated like a superior, and it's true. He very much does.
› But he has to admit to himself that it does feel nice whenever someone isn't shaking in their boots and can hold really good conversations with him while still not being pushy, annoying or just generally disrespectful.
› Anyways.
› Ever since you became friends (which took long), one could say, you just kept becoming closer and closer.
› You were the first one to be vulnerable with him, of course. It happened on accident, but you trusted him enough for that.
› You were also the first one to share any more intimate information with him. Something you wouldn't tell just anyone.
› Between this, your conversations, and maybe even helping each other around (honestly, he probably helps you more than you do him, but you always offer it and always in a sweet way, never condescending, and he appreciates that.)
› He eventually felt more comfortable sharing personal things with you too.
› (He may have distanced himself a bit when he realized this, but it was short-lived. You can't be without each other for so long, and you were pretty upset at his suddenly withdrawal. You may not have mentioned it to him, but he could tell, and as much as he hated to admit it, it hurt him to see you sad because of him.)
› This marks the beginning of the path toward your queerplatonic relationship.
› I mean, you didn't initially label it as such, but it definitely started there.
› Surprisingly, I feel like the first one to ever do any sort of affectionate gesture towards the other was him.
› You knew he didn't like to be touched, so you didn't.
› But! He just started getting more and more comfortable with touching you. At first it was hands on your shoulders, or putting his arm over them.
› I can even see a head pat or two, which he probably passed off as some sort of joke the first few times, but, if you liked them so much, just became a thing he does to you.
› And then one day you, completely absent-mindedly, intertwined your arm with his while walking around.
› When you noticed you had done it and he hadn't said anything, you questioned him about it.
› "Alastor, I'm sorry I didn't ask... is this alright?"
› "This?... Oh, you mean the arms? Ah, dear, don't worry, if it weren't I would have simply told you so!"
› From them on you only got more and more physically affectionate with each other. At first you would usually be the one to start it, but eventually you were both shockingly equal in doing so.
› (You still would always ask if you could touch him beforehand, but after a while he just gave you a free-pass.)
› Not a lot in public, though. Mostly just hand holding, or intertwining arms (if in public, that is.)
› Alastor also was so protective of you. You were the person he treasured most, after all.
› Well, demon.
› Even if you told him you were going to be okay, he would watch out nonetheless. He couldn't afford to lose you, not when he's never trusted and cared for a person this much.
› You two also cuddle a lot. You were the first one to ask, as usual, but now both of you feel weird sleeping alone.
› Alastor loves being the big spoon, if you're doing that.
› But he is also quite fond of occasionally being the little spoon, although he wouldn't be caught dead admitting it.
› A hobby you two do together is cooking. Cooking with Alastor is fun... especially if you're okay with cannibalism.
› But if you don't like that, he won't insist, of course.
› He's pretty good at cooking, though! If you're also good at it, then great. If not, he'll tease you about it (in a friendly way), but still teach you.
› On teasing, he teases you quite a bit, but never in a mean way. If you don't mind, of course.
› You also may tease him occasionally, but he doesn't appreciate you teasing him in public.
› The two of you also have a good amount of inside jokes that probably confuse the hell out of the others.
› Kissing... well. I don't really see Alastor as the type who would enjoy kissing on the lips too much.
› Tongue is out of question for him, as well as any sort of making out, but otherwise... if you like it, he can do that for you.
› He might actually like a peck or two. An acquired taste for him. Don't overdo it, though.
› Of course, him being from the 1930s and not very familiar with anything LGBTQ+ related, he would, at first, be somewhat confused by the request.
› You would probably have to explain to him that nothing is inherently romantic, especially not if you don't want it to be.
› "A kiss on the lips? Well... we aren't courting, Y/n."
› "We can put our own meanings to things, though. Would you like this kiss to be romantic?"
› "Definitely not!"
› "Well, me neither. So it's not!"
› "... That is very sound logic! I can't believe I've never thought of this myself."
› Kisses on the rest of the face are something else, though. He does enjoy it whenever you kiss him on the cheek. He himself might occasionally kiss you on the forehead.
› But overall I don't think he's big on kissing.
› If you want to really solidify that you're in a queerplatonic relationship you'd also have to explain what that means to him, sorry.
› Again, he's old and not up to date with things.
› Thankfully he understands things easily.
› "I see... I suppose we do have quite the queer relationship, don't we? And it is certainly platonic. I don't see why not!"
› Going back to vulnerability. It will never feel fully natural for him to just be vulnerable with you — or anyone else, for the matter.
› (In case you couldn't tell, he's using the word queer as meaning odd (and doing a little pun. You know. Because it's a. Queerplatonic relationship. Queer. Hehehehe), as it defies the norm of what a platonic relationship usually looks like, despite being one.)
› But you know him well enough at this point to recognize whenever there's something going on with him.
› And if you show concern and give him enough time he will share whatever it is with you.
› If it's not anything too big he might even reach out to you first.
› He can also read you like a book and gives surprisingly good advice, and is also pretty good at comforting you.
› You are the only person allowed at his studio while he's live on the radio. You usually read as he speaks in the background, his voice is very relaxing. He enjoys having you around.
› He's also particularly gentlemanly to you, more than to the others. When you're with him you never have to open a single door yourself, for one. If it's raining, he'll hold the umbrella for the two of you. When walking together on the sidewalk, he's always on the side closest to the street instead of you.
› You two often go out for dinner. If you also fancy some cannibalism, he will definitely show you his favorite restaurants around. If not he will just pick the best non-cannibal places (but you know those are not his favorites, haha.)
› He just cares about you a lot, even if it took him long to admit (it may have seemed fast-paced during this, but Alastor is someone who really takes long to get close to.)
› And you care about him lot too!
› (And you're probably never going to be in a life-threatening situation again, at least not at the hands of most demons. Who would ever want trouble with Alastor?)
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washeduphazbin · 1 month
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I know were all on an Adam kick rn but I wanted to get your take on what Alastor would be like with a fem partner?? Maybe someone thats a bit more innocent than him and doesnt ENJOY partaking in murder or cannibalism like he does
Unsure if this was a fic request or for me to answer in general! So if you want a fic just lmk!
But I think Alastor is really tricky because I love him but I don’t think he has a bone in his body that isn’t manipulative at least not one we have seen. So I think at first it’s a very (not toxic necessarily but still manipulative) but a much more guiding, nurturing role type relationship. Similar to Charlie and him AT FIRST cause I get that you would have the same vibes as Charlie with your hope, optimism and innocent. Cause I imagine innocent you falling down to hell being terrified and Alastor taking her under his wing. At first it’s just to get another deal or another soul but then he realizes like.
Oh. Oh I don’t think you’re supposed to be here at all. There’s absolutely been some sort of mixup because this girl is incapable of hurting anybody.
From then on I think he’d be more of a silent protector role. He’d know and respect your unease at his cannibalistic and violent lifestyle so he’d do his best to keep her out of it. No interacting with Vox, no other overlords other than Rosie, any freak outs/power trips he has he would always make sure you’re away from the danger and the sight. He doesn’t like you seeing him like that for some reason. (Rosie would have to explain to him that he might be in love or whatever that means to him)
I also think No one would know they’re together romantically until one day Angel makes an offhand comment to reader and as follows:
Angel: I just don’t understand toots, you’ve been in hell for ‘dis long and there hasn’t been a single dame or lad that’s tried to woo ya? It’s a crime! I mean look at ya!
You: *very flustered* oh thanks Angie. That’s not entirely true though Al and I have been together for…oh goes going over seven years at this point.
To which you slap a hand over your mouth because you and Alastor are very private and you just did the one thing he told you not to do. Al just slowly turns to look at you eye twitching.
Reactions as follows:
Angel: flabbergasted. Jaw has dropped. Eyes BULGING. Asking a million questions about your sex life.
Husk: chokes on his drink while promptly also dropping the bottle and shattering it on the floor
Niffty: she def already knew.
Charlie: LOUD SQUEALING, HUGS, A MILLION QUESTIONS
Vaggie: shock, horror, curiosity…but mostly the first too.
Both you and Alastor would get very overwhelmed and he’d teleport you both away, with a promise of answering questions later but him and his dear heart must be off on important business.
Anyway yah hope that’s what you’re looking for! That’s my take! And if you guys want little blurbs like this lmk I can probably crank these out much easier.
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pathetichimbos · 6 months
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Well, guys, a single person told me I should make this into a post, and so now you're all getting another fabulous take on Thomas Hewitt I've been looking for an excuse to talk about.
Question: 'Do you think realistically would it be hard to get into a relationship with Tommy?'
Short Answer: Yes! And no.
Ha, you really thought there'd be a short answer to this? No, let's dive in.
Thomas, on the surface, is a very awkward, to himself kind of guy. He doesn't like stepping out of his comfort zones, and he hates change. He thrives on strict routine, and isn't one to do something without being told. (ex: he doesn't take initiative at the slaughterhouse, he does exactly as he's told and doesn't stray from those rules)
He has an extremely strong sense of familial bond and ties to his family, he wouldn't betray them for anything, (and yes, that includes you too). It's a huge cultural things in small towns. It doesn't matter who your family is or what they've done. It's true ride or die mentality.
Considering these things, if you want to hope to have a relationship with him, you're gonna have to take up their lifestyle. Every part of it.
If you've ever been to an old southern woman's house, you know how insulting it is to refuse food. It's practically the same thing as spitting on their shoes and slapping them in the face. If you refuse a home cooked meal, especially when you're still considered a 'guest' in the house, you will end up on their bad side.
And Thomas is a Mama's boy, through and through, if his mother doesn't like you, he doesn't like you.
And that mentality is only doubled for the Hewitts. Their family has starved, and if you've ever struggled for food, you understand why they won't let it happen again. I could go into a whole in depth analysis on the Hewitt family and their cannibalism, but let's get back to Tommy.
Thomas doesn't trust people easily. It's in their family, in his blood. The Hewitts (especially after they start murdering people) are suspicious and unforgiving people. People will often assume that they became isolated after the town died out and everyone left, but in reality, they were isolated long before that, as Luda Mae, Hoyt, and even Monty (though much less than the other two) wouldn't tolerate Tommy's mistreatment and abuse.
And as for Thomas' personal distrust, I can almost guarantee there were several times people would pretend to be his friend or even go as far as 'asking him out' only to immediately burst into laughter and mock him the moment he got excited.
Now, he's much more closed off and distrusting of strangers kindness and friendliness.
...But, he's a huge romantic.
He absolutely loves the idea of having someone to love.
His favorite books Luda Mae would read to him as a child were the princess stories. He would dream of being the prince charming, saving the princess from the retched beast so they could get married and live happily ever after.
But, as he got older, he started believing he was better fit for the role of the filthy monster that never falls in love.
Packaging all this up into one neat present, you get a pretty clear idea of what kind of man Thomas is.
So, how does one actually end up in a relationship with him?
It's simple! In the most complicated way possible.
First, is actually meeting him in a none murderer-victim setting, because once you hit that area, there's really no going back. If he's told you're next, you're next.
He's going to be really suspicious of you, no matter what you do really. Even if you do become 'friends', he's a rather anxious man, and he's going to have doubts for a long time.
You're going to have to get on everyone's good side. Like I said before, he cares deeply about his family and their opinions, and being around them and accepted by them is a non-negotiable. And I don't just mean Luda Mae, I mean everyone, including Monty and Hoyt.
Speaking of Hoyt, that will have it's own ground rules as well.
Thomas, despite being a big hunk of a man who could easily toss around someone twice Hoyt's weight, is not the man of the house. Hoyt is like a father figure to him, and he looks up to him. Well, not in every way, but you get the picture.
He isn't going to take well to you bad-mouthing Hoyt. Of course, he doesn't care if you want to rant about the man's annoying presence sometimes, but it depends on how close the two of you are and what you're saying.
If you try to accuse the man of being abusive, or not caring about his family, Thomas isn't going to like it. Hoyt is a mean hothead, sure, and by today's standards, most people probably would consider him abusive to a certain extent, but this is a small southern town in the 1970s.
Hell, most of the 'abusive' traits Hoyt show are still practiced in small towns to this day, and are considered normal behavior. Again, I could go into a whole spiel about Hoyt's character and actions, but I'll get to the point.
If there is one thing true about Hoyt, it's that he cares about his family. Every action he takes is in their interest, and he'd put his life on the line to keep them safe, including Thomas. Hell, he protected Tommy as a kid just as much as Luda Mae did.
So, yea, really any bad talk about his family is going to get you on his bad side.
But, let's say that you follow these rules, and you mesh well with his family and him, how long will it take for Tommy to actually catch feelings for you?
...Pretty much almost immediately.
Thomas is reserved and untrusting, yes, but he catches crushes faster than a Tommy-hater can catch these hands. (for reference, that's really fast)
He's a sweetheart, and eager to be loved and accepted, so the irrational, romantic side of his brain eager hops on the Y/N train the moment you show him any real affection.
But as for actually loving you? That's going to take a really long time.
Luda Mae always raised him on the idea that love can't exist without trust, and he takes that to the extreme. He literally won't consider a relationship with you until he can completely trust you with his whole heart.
And once that trust is earned and the two of you become 'official', that's it. He's in it for life. In his eyes, you're the only one for him, and he takes that belief to heart. So it is extremely important that you only enter the relationship when you're 100% ready. He won't understand the concept of needing a 'break', or time apart. Once you're in it, you're in it, and if you ever leave, there's no coming back, and Thomas will leave your life entirely, with the rest of the Hewitts shunning you as a result.
Because of this, it's also important to remember that there really is no such thing as 'harmless' flirting with Thomas. He doesn't understand the concept of friendly flirting. He's either going to assume that you're mocking him or that you actually do have feelings for him.
Communication is a huge key with this man!!! He doesn't pick up well on hints or social cues. Be up front of and honest about you're feelings or he will have no idea how you really feel, and it'll only cause heartbreak and confusion in the long run.
...Well. Now that I've practically made a How-to Guide on romancing Thomas, I think I'll call it here. Good luck on attracting your local Hewitt boys. See y'all in the next one.
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h3llenwrites · 22 days
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Hi hi! Hope your having a nice day
How about our favorite radio host with a reader who owns a newspaper company in hell. They were a reporter when they were alive. They are investigating some of Vox's business and ends up running into Alastor?
Surprisingly I got enough motivation to write again so eat up
Alastor x Reader :
Platonic? Romantic? idk tbh. Just reader and Alastor working together to mess with Vox.
As someone who shares the latest news in hell, owning a newspaper company and all, you couldn't help but peep into the Vee's business. Something about them ultimately seemed unnerving, so naturally, every so often you would be prying at any information and bringing it back to your collection immediately. You often noticed Vox "convincing" his little crowd that gathers everytime he would step out of the comforts of his office, Running the other way when he starts to walk to your direction. Sometimes you would get caught writing your gathered info in the little journal you carry around with you, but you always put it away before Vox sees; Not like he could understand the handwriting anyway. (LISTEN HAVING TO WRITE DOWN A LOT OF INFO IN MERE SECONDS BEFORE HAVING TO BOOK IT FROM THE SOURCE IS GONNA GET YOU BAD HANDWRITING) When these occurences happen, you were lucky enough that he didn't think much of it, even though he noticed you a few steps behind the audience who were so glad to see him often.
You were collecting more information a few days after the last attempt where Big Ol' TV Man actually understood your handwriting and is now VERY wary of your presence. It didn't help that there were cameras everywhere either, you can barely avoid his watching gaze and it frustrated you that you hadn't been able to get anything from Vox or the other Vees since he probably warned them about your watching eye. Alastor was taking a stroll around hell heading to cannibal town, but ever so often pissing off Vox by destroying his cameras or glitching them and disconnecting the TVs that displayed on the stores. Luckily for you, the Radio Demon was headed your way and before Vox could check if you were peeping on him, Alastor had made his way in front of the camera and broke it. Vox cursed in his seat, choosing to get out either way so he can have a 'lovely talk' with the red deer. The commotion got more lively once Vox had stepped out. You smiled to yourself, getting your pen, paper, and camera ready. He did something quite unexpected today. Instead of standing there and giving off his usual speech, he quickly said some promotional shit and let off a light that would distract his crowd and he ran off, searching for the deer and cursing when Alastor was no where in sight. He was so distracted by getting revenge on his little enemy that he hadn't paid you any mind and dismissed the fact that he should've checked if you were present first. Naturally, you were overexcited. I mean you just got some worthy ass information about Vox, so naturally, you ran back to your work place as fast as you could. On the way there, you bumped into Alastor.. oh unfortunate soul. You were hurrying quite quickly, causing the both of you to fall on the dirty pavement below. You were processing what just happened, still a bit dizzy but you already picking up your items that you've dropped. You didn't think of the other person until you were done caring for yourself and suddenly you heard the sound of radio static. You gulped and hoped for the best, but of course, who else could it be? The moment you looked up, your eyes were met with Alastor's. Was he pissed? Please please.. "My apologies.. I uh-" You were quickly cut off by his cheery voice. "Nonsense, Darling! Say, Why are you in such a rush?" He noticed you earlier, seems you piqued his interest. "Um, Well I was just.. doing some research..?" He lifted his eyebrow, wide grin still present as always. "Hmm? Doing some research hiding behind a building?"
"Well I-" He picked up a paper you'd left, or rather used his abilities to make it appear in his hand. "Information on Vox Tech," He read the title on your paper aloud. "Oh! That's mine! haha.." You quickly grabbed it from his hands and stuffed it in your notebook. "It was.. lovely meeting you Mr. Uh.. Radio Demon..!" "Alastor." "Alastor! Right! ..I'd better get going." You quickly walked away, retreating to your place of comfort. He stared at you before continuing to make his way to Cannibal Town. A few days later, you still couldn't get Vox to come out, So you looked for something else to investigate on for a bit before returning. You were looking at some posters around hell when the 'Pointless Happy Hotel' or so was said, caught your attention. The Princess of Hell's beliefs for redemption was intriguing to you, so you grabbed a pen, a notebook and a camera, then headed to the hill where this hotel was located, having absolutely no idea the Radio Demon was there. After a few minutes of constantly avoiding violent sinners trying to behead anyone who passes by, Several explosions and Horny demons, You were at the front door. You cleaned yourself off and knocked. Charlie opened the door, a very bright smile on her face. "Hello! Welcomee~ To the Hazbin Hotel!~" She said in a sing-song voice. "Hi!-" You could barely speak before getting cut off by getting dragged into the lobby. "This is the lobby! That's the bar, the bartender over there is Husk. That's Niffty, she's our housekeeper! Oh! And that is.." The Princess ranted about the hotel, introducing you to the staff, patrons and giving you a tour. You kept trying to interrupt her, saying that you were only going to be staying for a few days maybe weeks for some research for your newspaper, You didn't get a chance to tell her until she reached Alastor's room to introduce you to him. "Actually, I'll only be staying for research to put on my newspaper.. Is that alright?" Charlie blinked before smiling again. "Oh! That's alright! Still glad for you to be staying here! Anyway, Let me introduce you to my.. Business partner I guess you could say?.." You tilted your head in confusion before she knocked and a shadow formed into the Radio Demon. You froze. "This is Alastor!" He turned his attention to you. "Ah, Yes. Pleasure to be meeting you, dear! Quite the pleasure. How is that research project on the Vees of yours going?" You nervously chuckled before answering him. "Quite alright, I suppose! Although.. I decided to investigate on something new since there had been no progress in the past week."
"I see! And what is this new project of yours about?"
"The hotel.."
"Hm! Well, I can certainly help with your research!"
"Research? Which one?"
"Why, both of course!"
"And why.. are you telling me this?" Alastor's grin grew wider. "Oh nothing, really. The topic of your little project just intrigued me is all!"
You accepted his help of course. The both of you work together to document the things you've gathered. He's honestly just helping out for fun. The relationship between the two of you grows (You can think of it as Platonic or Romantic, Idk I don't judge) and he sometimes has you with him, broadcasting the latest news, seated next to him while reading from your newspaper in his Radio Tower. He also often visits you while you're producing new info to feed the public. His favorite part of helping you gather info about the Vees is destroying Vox's cameras :)
A/N: This.. is sort of shorter than I intended it to be. I lost my ideas halfway through writing this because I thought of Alastor with a reader who has a bakery and he visits often or Alastor with wife reader who owns a bakery and she brings him baked goods. Should I write that?
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huskyweebo · 1 month
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Yesterday is Valentine’s Day ! well, i meant to post it On the day but I passed out before I finished proof Reading-
Anyways, well what does a single person do with his free time on that day ? Write fanfic of course!
Here is some RadioApple !!
Valentine's Day Surprise !
Today was Valentines Day and All around the hotel People gave gifts to their lovers, or to their Crushes.
Husker had Finally confessed to Angel and it was a nice sight. Almost everyone had gotten a gift with the intent of Romantic Love, and Boy was lucifer depressed. Of course Charlie had given a Gift but that was different. He had hoped for somone else to give one.
A couple days prior he had Asked the Radio Demon his thoughts on Valentines Day, for Lucifer, he Personally wasnt fond of it since Lilith had Left him. He also remembered the Day Cupid Was created for the Holiday. But now he was curious, what did his crush Think about the Holiday? 
“ Its Scandilous. “ 
“ Im sorry what? “ he blurted out. Alastor Looked At lucifer With an Odd Expression, 
“ The only Reason I Dont dissapear On this day to get away from all this lovey Dovey Nonesense, Is that Rosie Gives me The hottest gossip she has, for mostly break up, “ he suddenly appeared sadistic as if thinking about Previous Valentines. 
“ Oh! Oh, Right, Yes, “ Lucifer luaghed nervously, “ I mean, I dont either phht- i mean i Was There when they made Valentines Day and My first thought was; ‘ Hey, now thats STUPID ‘ “ He luaghed more awkwardly, and then turned feeling severely disappointed. Alastor Raised an Eyebrow. 
Cbsck to present day, he was waving away Charlie And Vaggie, they were going to a fancy restaurant and Lucifer volunteered to Watch over the Hotel
“ Are you Reallyyyy Sure that you dont want to hand over the Responsibitly over to Al? Dont you think you should have fun too? “ She said with Sad eyes, Lucifer shook his head.
“ Nope! Bitch you know i prefer Ruling Hell than get a date for this holiday, HA! “ He said very awkwardly. Charlie nodded, after a brief connection of eyes with Vaggie she turned to leave with His Duaghter. He sighed,
“ they grow up so fast, “ He went back in. He looked around, the hotel was closed for guests today so that leaves only Nifty and he to be present. he Assumed that Alastor was with The cannibal Overlord due to his comment a couple days ago. 
Today it was the most quietest hes heard the Hotel,
it felt like Being in the royal Castel again… All alone. Lucifer groans, he leaned against a wall and put his face on his Hands. He never realized how sofficating Silence was. 
After he moved into the hotel to Help his daughter he was too busy to feel Depression, but now, with nothing to do and no one to talk to, he could feel it settling in like a dark cloud.
He was alone, Again, on Valentines day,
it reminded him about how much more Lilth is happier without him..
He heard a squeak,  “ Ultamte Bad Boy! Come here!!  “ Nifty giggled, he put his hands down. She was very jittery Her bouncing, 
“ What is it Nifty? “ He said softly, she ran up to him and Grabbed his hand, 
“ Come on ! i have to take you somewhere! “ she said excitedly. 
“ Wha- Where?! “ He stammered, for someone as tiny as Her she was surprisingly Strong. she pulled him up to the elevator to go to the very top. She didnt say much during the ride but she persistently keep his hand in hers and she was muttering words he could not understand. 
The Elevator Opened and she started pulling him to the left. She stopped at the door that led to the patio. 
“ Go, Go, go! “ She said pushing him a little, then rushed away, luaghing. 
“ Weirddd “ Lucifer Said to himself.
what on earth was that? He thought. Why would she want him to be here? Maybe to see a new collection of dead insects, or alive. he pulled out the bug spray he had in his pocket preparing for what would be behind the doors.
He pushed it open,
Lucifer dropped the can and his eyes widened. In front of him was a small table. Alastor, with a wide smile, was sitting on one of the seats. He got up,
Lucifer shut the door immediately and leaned against. He could hear his heart beating, 
“ Fuck, Fuck, Fuck, “ He muttered repeatedly under his breath, Lucifer felt His Face heat up and His legs threatened to Give in. he did not expect this, he wished for something but he didnt think it would actually be answered.
He wasnt ready, all he was ready for is to go to his room and be alone with his depressing thoughts.
In front of him the shadow morphed and Alastor appeared, 
“ Your Duaghter Acts much like you, “ He stated, titling his head. Lucifer was stunned, all he could do was smile slightly, He couldnt speak. The Radio Demon saw that and took advantage.
“ I must say I prepared this for you and it was quite rude for you to slam the Door on such a thing, “ He put his hands behind his back and waited for the others response. 
Lucifer blinked, suddenly he was able to move. He cleared his throat, 
“ um, yes sorry about that- “ he forced out. The silence was ackward as Alastor seemed to be thinking, 
“ Well my dear I think we should start this over, “ He Held out his hand. “ May you join me for dinner, “ Lucifer stared at it, 
the thoughts of being alone for valentines day for the 10th year in a row dawned on him.
He didnt want that again, he wanted to be happy, he didnt want to keep deppressing over someone that didnt like him.
He should be looking forward to the one who does.. And he was right in front of him. 
A sudden burst of courage came to him, he gave his hand To alastor, which made him chuckle a little, 
“ good, thank you, “ Lucifers heart skipped a beat.
He led him by the hand and pulled a seat back. as Lucifer sat down Alastor kept his hand on his, once he was settled, he leaned forward and kissed Lucifer’s hand.
“ My highness “ he spoke, “ oh my Me, he said ‘ My ‘ instead of you, MY HIGHNESS “ Lucifer screamed in his head like a teenage girl.
“ in front we have a fantastic meal of deer that I picked and killed myself, I hope it is to your liking, “ he said while opening the cloche to reveal a fantastical meal.
“ why thank you Alastor, “ Lucifer said hiding his blushing face, he wondered why he was doing this, he never thought Alastor thoughtful.
“ may I ask why you are doing this? I thought you didn’t like Valentine’s Day “ he blurted out, As Alastor served both of them he looked up,
“ well a couple days ago you asked me about Valentine’s Day and I couldn’t help but notice your expression when i responded. “ Lucifer looked guilty, “ so I asked my mo- Rosie what I should do and she cheerfully helped me exert this wonderful dinner. “ he gestured around. Lucifer smiled helplessly,
“ oh, t-thank you Alastor, I’ve never saw you as a type to be romantic, “ Alastor smiled more genuinely,
“ well anything for my dear highness, “ he kissed Lucifer’s hand again, giving him butterflies.
It was a splendid meal, and the night was a dinner he won’t ever forget, he has never felt this alive in years.
They chatted all dinner, they laughed and even Alastor told him how it was like on earth, and the good things about. It made Lucifer relieved, that did not only sprout evil on earth, but buetiful things aswell.
Once they finished, Alastor spoke,
“ well, I must say, I now understand why people celebrate this vile holiday, if you find the right one.. it’s quite enjoyable, “ He looked deeply into Lucifer’s eyes, whose widened.
“ Right.. one ? “ Alastor nodded. It was a confession, Lucifer felt like he was about to faint,
“ Yes! “ he exclaimed getting up, he cleared his throat, blushed embarrassingly. “ I mean, I also agree, and this was wonderful, thank you Alastor. Tonight’s has been wonderful “ The Radio Demon got up aswell, he held out his hand, and Lucifer took it.
“ We aren’t done yet. I think we also have a reservation in your quarters.
“ Wait what? “ he said curiously, as they walked towards his room Alastor turned and winked,
“ Oh. “ Lucifer got the hint, he blushed then giggled,
“ oh Alastor, this has been my favorite Valentine’s Day for the first time in Eons “ Alastors eyes sparkles
“ that’s saying something if you were here before the birth of earth, “ Alastor said, Lucifer kissed the side of his chin. The walked in Lucifer’s quarters and closed the door
A couple hours later they were both laying on Lucifer’s bed. Alastor stared at Lucifer as he slept, he immediately passed out after he put one Pj clothes. The short king face was passive, he was like a kitten when he slept, he was adorable.
Adorable?
He has only called people adorable to spite people, but now he knew it was a genuine thought. He has never felt this way before, not even when he was alive.
“ Dad, Dad? “ Charlie knocked on the door. Alastor opened it with a flick of a hand, he did not want her to disturb his highness.
“ Dad? I was just wondering how you were doing. Nifty was acting weird but she said that you went u- “ she stopped immediately when she saw Alastor holding her dad defensively.
“ oh. Um well, ha I didn’t mean to disturb you, sorry! “ she stammered scooting back,
“ say a word to anyone and I will make love to your father again. “ he said roughly, narrowing his eyes. Her face cringed,
“ I did not need to know you did, to begin with, “ she shut the door quietly. Alastor Rolled his eyes,
Alastor felt Lucifer cuddle deeper in his chest, he sighed peacefully. Alastor leaned to kiss his head, which Lucifer unconsciously leaned toward it. Alastor laid his head on top of the blonde-haired and went to sleep.
The End.
The Make Love thing was inspired by a post I saw [ I don't remember where tho ]
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adaptacy · 7 months
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I know this might seem like a weird hcs to make   but if Johnny went to prison do you think he would want his s/o to stay with him or leave him to live a normal life ?
Hi anon! I really hope this doesn't break your heart. Sorry if it does darlin <3
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If Johnny is getting arrested, if he's going away, he is going away for life. Like, ten- maybe twenty, hell, thirty times over. We don't even know how many people he's killed. And I'm no law student, but I'm pretty sure cannibalism and stalking and hunting them definitely makes those life sentences worse.
Point is, there is no way he's getting out. Not legally, anyways.
And Johnny more than understands that. He is NOT going to let you sit around dreaming about him when he knows he's gonna be rotting behind bars for the rest of his life, and then some.
The first thing he tells you when he gets arrested is not to wait for him. You'd be waiting an eternity. He tells you that he loves you, and that he's sorry, but maybe it's for the best. So yeah, no, he wants you to leave him. I mean- he doesn't want that but I think if he really does love you he wants you to be happy. It's not like he can do anything about it from behind bars.
That being said....
If he somehow, miraculously gets (breaks) out, he's hunting you down. Doesn't matter if it's been 6 months, two years, or fifteen years. He will find you. I mean, it's not like there's much to do in prison other than think about his life before. And that means you.
Sure, his tracking skills are a little rusty at this point, but information becomes easier to access the more that time goes on thanks to technological advances. And he will find you, eventually.
When he does, you immediately recognize him- prison has gyms, after all, and he'd need his muscles in jail anyways, so he's still as buff, if not more. He looks more rugged, clearly he's had a good number of prison fights. Not surprising, seeing as how it is Johnny.
At first, he's gentle. Asks how you're doing. Asks- err, demands, that you don't report him to the cops. He is definitely a vigilante, and a very much wanted man. Asks if you missed him.
And then he's a little more forthright. "Missed you. Thought 'bout you. A lot." It gives you butterflies, but you're not sure if you want to suffer through the heartbreak of him potentially being stolen away by the cops again.
Also, if you have a family or another partner, that's going to make things much more troublesome. If you accept him, you'd have to accept moving several states away from Texas and completely change your identities. And if you are with someone else...
Johnny isn't upset at you. He expected it. He never would've guessed he got free, so of course you wouldn't have either. But he doesn't really know what to do with his life if he can't have you. He hated his family- grew to hate the Sawyers as he aged in those concrete walls, realizing just how responsible they were for his problems. yeah, he's not great at taking responsibility. He had a lot of time to brew on that anger.
So beyond hating his family, you were what kept him going. Even if he'd told you to find happiness elsewhere, you were his happiness. So hearing that you are already with someone else definitely hurts.
He accepts it.
...
...
...
At first. And then he thinks about it some more, and he finds the idea a little ridiculous. You'd pleaded to stay with him, promised your devotion even when he'd told you not to. But now you were suddenly going against your word? Yeah, right.
He'd visit you often. Specifically when he knew you were alone. because he knew he could win you over and convince you with enough time. Eventually, he's taking you out to 'catch up', and then those turn into weirdly romantic dinners, and small gifts, and...
Oh, and he's kissing you. And you're kissing him back.
Shit.
This is gonna be tough to explain.
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relatableblorbopoll · 3 months
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Round 1 of preliminaries, group 15
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The first two places get a place on the bracket
Little reminder: there will be 2 more rounds of preliminaries, the losing blorbos of this poll still have 2 chances of getting in the official bracketPropaganda under the cut
Wen Kexing (Tian Ya Ke / Faraway Wanderers)
"Author: so theres this OP cannibal murderer who's a huge homosexual and has a dissociative disorder... Me, completely ignoring the OP cannibal murderer part: wow a huge homosexual with a dissociative disorder, hes just like me fr!!!!"
Homura Akemi (Puella Magi Madoka Magica)
No Propaganda
Nico di Angelo (Percy Jackson Series)
"gay (canon), trans (not canon but very popular headcanon), autistic (implied), depressed (canon), emo, and separated and left out by all his peers"
Heinz Doofenshmirtz (Phineas and Ferb)
"I too believe I am a threat but am a minor inconvenience at best."
Reki Kyan (Sk8 the Infinity)
"Sighs dramatically. Everything about him is just like me Fr I just. He’s an artist who gets excited over his art but nobody is as excited as him so he gets shut down a lot. He gets worried that his friends are gonna leave him behind because he’s not as good as them at skating. He self isolates after a fight and avoids his friends like the plague despite them only wanting to help. It takes him talking sense into SOMEONE ELSE for him to realize he doesn’t need to be good at what he does, he just needs to have fun doing what he’s passionate about."
q!Quackity (QSMP)
"No bitches. Just so bitchless it's sad. He fumbles every single bad bitch he's tried to bag. His good buddy that he clearly had some romantic feelings for? Sure he flirts with him, but he flirts with everyone and is lowkey not interested because he likes somebody else. Doesn't matter, he has two other guys he's into, and it looks like they might be into him! They both fuck off out of existence, one to become an entire different entity even. OK WELL YOU KNOW WHAT? There's this NEW guy who is interesting and good looki- Oh, the best friend from the beginning? Already dating him. And they're planning on getting MARRIED, how wonderful!!! good for them!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Well one of the guys that left just MIGHT come back!!!! So he sticks to that hope and becomes obsessed. So much so that when the guy comes back your friends tell him how obsessed with him you are and he's like 'uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh'. He just takes Ls left and right, not only in love, but on EVERYTHING. He has so many issues and is so tragic and his way of understanding relationships is so bad and is such a loser, just like me!!"
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inuhalfdemon · 19 days
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Dirty Dealings (7/?)
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Summary: A crossover fanfic of Hazbin Hotel (Alastor) x "The Invisible Life of Addie LaRue" by V.E. Schwab
Word Count = 4,721 Words
Chapter 7: The Catch
[[A brief message to all!!!
Our (slow burn?) has reached the point of its ignition and there is something I just would like for readers who are here to know. Canonically, Alastor is a aromantic asexual male. In writing this fanfiction, it is my goal to respect this of his character while still placing him in…. unlikely scenarios. I, myself, am a romantic homosexual female. It is my hope that = in my portrayal here of Alastor’s predicament within this fanfiction that it does not come across as distasteful or offensive to anyone who may strongly relate to or appreciate the established orientation of his character. I cannot fully empathize or understand the frustration some may have in regarding the perceptions that are made to this but, I still wish to be respectful. If something better can be done with the writing to reflect this, please, let me know. ]]
Alastor hummed happily, picking at the bowl of eyeballs Rosie had left out for their tea that afternoon. Niffty was perched on his shoulders where he was seated at the table. She was busily working through the fur surrounding his ears and antlers; greedily searching for the swollen ticks that he had picked up during his hunting in the New Orleans swamps. Finding a rather large one, just at the base of his ear, she quickly plucked it from the skin and popped it into her mouth before continuing to comb through his hair.
“I know we’re in Hell,” Mimzy was saying, “But, that’s disgusting. Where did you get all those anyway?”
Mimzy had found him nearly immediately following his return from his last excursion to earth for the reaping. Unsurprisingly, she found herself in another one of her binds and needed him to sort it all out for her. He did so promptly; more than happy to do an old friend a favor while also having the chance of clearly establishing the solidity of his power to others. After the matter was settled, Mimzy invited herself with him to take tea with Rosie at their usual place in Cannibal Town.
“Why, our very own good ol’ New Orleans, darling.” Alastor told her excitedly.
“No shit!” Mimzy exclaimed. “How is it up there in The Big Easy?”
“…meh,” Alastor shrugged. “It’s not what it used to be. No talent quite like yours to appreciate, that’s for sure.” 
“Oh, Alastor,” Mimzy said, “You know how to make a girl smile! Hey, listen, I gotta go but this was nice! We’ll catch up again soon! And thank you for the tea, Miss Rosie! Keep teaching Mr. Tall Dark and Stinky some manners.”
With that, Mimzy hopped from her seat at the table and strolled away, leaving Alastor and Rosie to the rest of their tea and lunch.
“A very interesting woman, Alastor.” Rosie said after she had gone. “You two must have been very close.”
“Not terribly,” Alastor said, taking a sip of his tea. “But, I did enjoy watching her performances and the lady certainly can dance.”
“You’ve always have had a taste for entertainment.” Rosie laughed and he smiled genuinely at her humor.
Niffty finding another engorged tick, giggled happily to herself.
“Those look rather tempting.” Rosie noted, watching her.
Holding the plump insect in her little hand, Niffty heard the comment and proceeded to growl and hiss before shoving the whole thing into her wide mouth and biting down. Spurts of blood sprayed from between her razor sharp teeth.
“I wouldn’t, if I were you.” Alastor told Rosie. “This one is still quite feral and she does have quite the nasty bite.” He smiled wickedly up at the small creature.  
If she was a pet -Rosie thought - she was the perfect kind of pet for Alastor.
“In what part of New Orleans were you that you managed to find so many deer ticks?” Rosie asked him curiously.
“Oh, out about in the bayou, of course.” Alastor told her, reaching for another eyeball. “I decided to take a little time to myself and do a bit of hunting.” He told her.
He had stayed the entirety of their 40th anniversary night with Addie. When late morning came though and Addie awoke, he was gone. The blankets were neatly arranged and tucked around her on the couch and on the table was a parchment of paper with a steaming coffee mug. The scrolling script on the paper read:
The coffee will help with the hangover.
A happy 40th Anniversary to you,
dearest Adeline
Yours truly,
As promised, after taking the first sip of hot coffee, her pounding headache receded immediately. A fogginess left her and the dull, sick feeling she had had turned into a hunger for breakfast and a readiness to start the day.
Instead of returning to Hell or pursuing other prospects; Alastor spent the next several weeks hunting the marshlands all throughout Louisiana. Feeling a little drained and irritated by his frustrations with recent events; he decided to really set himself loose. Roaming the deepest, darkest parts of the swamps he could find, he took whichever great and terrifying form that suited him; killing and devouring any sizable prey: deer, bear, or gator he encountered. He even happened upon a large cougar in his wanderings. He found great pleasure in the large cat’s screams of pain and fear before taking its bleeding and mangled body wholly into his great gullet, swallowing: fur, claws, limbs, organs, bones, tail and all. 
“Well, good for you, sweetheart. You deserve a bit of a break.” Rosie told him. “Still killing it in the reaping, I’ve noticed.” She smiled wickedly at him. “And, you’ve managed to find me my very own prospects. That ‘Jeffery’-fellow sounds like he’ll fit right in…But, I am curious.” Rosie had debated with herself on whether she should bring it up; “How is your little ‘passion project’ going? Oh, now don’t give me that look, Alastor, you know I’m kidding. Has the young lady grown tired of your deal yet or are you still trying to wear her down?”
“Still trying to wear her down, I’m afraid.” Alastor told her honestly. “The woman is more…tedious than I expected.”
“Ha!” Rosie laughed. “Maybe this is good for you; someone giving you a bit of grief.”
Truth be told, Alastor was feeling rather confident in how his deal with Adeline was falling into place. She finally had admitted - to both herself and to him – that she really wasn’t happy. Despite the added years, despite all of his gifts, despite her endless youth…it wasn’t enough. Just how he had meant it.
Human souls – pure human souls – craved connection. A connection that Adeline would never find, no matter how long she wished to wander in her supposed…freedom. The only connection she had left to anyone was him and him alone. He enjoyed emphasizing this to her during their visits; giving her the briefest taste of familiarity and companionship only to walk out of her life until he decided to walk back in. She was very nearly done with this game that they were playing. He knew it. He just needed to be a little more patient. Bide his time. In the end; it would be more than worth it for the reward.
Her little confession she shared with him recently left him feeling…irritable, however. It wasn’t that he cared what the outcome had been. He just didn’t like surprises. He might have known, might have considered her…condition…more closely had he not been so eager to entrap her within her own foolish mortal yearnings. Instead, he had overlooked a fine detail; jumping to his own conclusions as to why she was ever out in the bayou that night with him in the first place. He had…miscalculated; he had been wrong. And, that bothered him. Immensely.
Alastor had no comment to Rosie’s last remark. Enjoying the company of friends and Niffty’s obsessive grooming; he softly hummed to himself, sipping his tea. Rosie too, enjoyed their quiet time together. A part of her worried for Alastor, worried about this deal he had made…But, another part of her saw that he seemed to be handling the whole situation just fine. There was not the slightest hint or sign that he was any different than the Alastor she knew and adored. Maybe, he did have everything all under control. She just hoped…for Alastor’s sake….this part of her was the part that was right.   
_____________________________________________________________
 New Orleans, Louisiana
June 18th , 2000
Dearest Adeline,
Please join me in celebrating our 50th Anniversary early together, on the night of June 24th. I will arrive promptly at 7 p.m. I look forward to seeing you.
Yours truly, 
She wasn’t sure if she wanted to cry happy tears at finding the letter within her apartment or if she wanted to promptly burn it. Ten years. Ten years and not one single fucking visit; no letter, nothing. She accepted him leaving the way he had on their 40th, had even anticipated not hearing from him for quite some time…but…ten years? Of course, she had thought about using the trick with the ring he had offered her; even just to see if he would show up. But then, the thought of her having to pissed her off enough that she eventually stopped wearing it altogether; deciding to keep it pocketed instead.
With the letter came several packages. Opening them, she found there to be three different beautiful dancing dresses with shoes to match. The dresses were of different colors and styles: one red, one green and one black. It wasn’t lost on her that she should pick one for whatever plans he had for her in one week. She ended up deciding on the red. It was a long, flowing soft, silk dance dress that had a long split up one leg. The neckline dipped – rather dramatically – but the dress, all-in-all, shaped her body nicely and gave her plenty of freedom for movement. Black silk sharply outlined the borders of the dress; it was remarkably comfortable and eye-catching.
One week later, Addie had just finished putting on her shoes, and was slipping the wooden ring over her finger, when the radio crackled to life; playing:
“Who cares what they’re wearing
On Main Street or Saville Row,
It’s what you wear from ear to ear
And not from head to toe
(That matters)
So, Senator, so janitor,
so long for a while
Remember, you’re never fully dressed
Without a smile!”
Little Orphan Annie
The song ended and the radio switched itself off before there was a knock at the door. Opening it, she found him as she thought she might; in human form, dressed handsomely in his black pinstripe suit, a wide smile across his face.
“Good evening, Adeline.” She felt something twist inside of her; hearing her name spoken aloud with such familiarity. It…had been so long.
“Luc…” He smirked but before he could say anything; she was through the door and hugging him to her.
She hadn’t planned on doing it. She wasn’t even sure why she had. She wanted to yell, to scream at him for leaving her for so long…alone. She wanted to be angry, to hate him for everything. But, right now, she was just happy that he was here.
She thought he might stiffen or step back from her sudden embrace but he softened into her and held her close to him. “Happy Anniversary.” He told her, his voice thrumming through her chest.
She started to cry; quickly letting go of him. “I’m sorry…I’m-“
“It’s quite alright, my dear.” He told her. “We could always-“
“No.” She told him. “We’re doing whatever it is you have planned. I just need one second.” She excused herself to the bathroom; quickly fixing the mess she made of her makeup. Coming back, she found him sitting perfectly content on the sofa, soft jazz playing from the radio. It was just then she noticed he was holding something.
Seeing her sudden curiousness, he stood from the couch. Going over to her, he showed her the beautiful black rose corsage.
“A little silly, maybe.” He told her, taking her hand to gently place it around her wrist. “But, I saw it and thought of you so-“
He released her hand and she turned it this way and that. The corsage had an eerie, soft shimmering glow like that of the restaurant he had taken her to years ago. And - just like the restaurant - it did not belong to this realm.
“It’s…beautiful.” She told him. “Thank you.”
“You are most welcome, dearest Adeline.” He said her name again and she fought the wave of emotion that it sent crashing into her. “Shall we?” He asked her.
“Yes.” She said and with her arm in his; he led her out the door.
______________________________________________________________
The evening was full of surprises. Addie had expected Alastor to flourish a portal for the both of them and take her to some version of reality for them to spend the night together; just the two of them. But, after stepping out of the apartment he hailed a taxi; chivalrously opening the door for her before they were off to wherever he had planned. She was even more surprised to find that their destination for that evening was the fanciest restaurant in all of New Orleans.
Arm in his, she went with him into the fine establishment. 
“Good evening, sir and madam.” Greeted the Maître D. “Do you have a reservation?”  
“’Adeline’.” Alastor told the man. Addie glanced at him briefly; wondering what he was needing from her before realizing he had used her name for their reservation.
“Right this way.” The gentleman said, leading them to their table.
With a flourish - not very dissimilar to that of Alastor’s – the man pulled a chair out for Addie to take a seat. Alastor seated himself, politely excusing the Maître D from having to attend to him.
After they were both seated and comfortable, Addie found herself starring vaguely at the menu; suddenly feeling completely out of her element.
Their waiter came to their table and he politely asked Addie for her drink order first.
“Uh…” She quickly scanned the menu, “A wine…I think…“
Alastor laughed, with good humor. “Your Champagne, please. For the lady, and for myself.”
“Sorry.” Addie told him when the waiter left. “This isn’t really my sort of…” She gave up.
“Quite alright.” Alastor told her. “I have a good idea of what to order, should you like to me to do the honors.”
“Very much.” She told him with relief, setting her menu aside.
When it came to time to order their meal; he told the waiter that they would be having: the Oysters Arnaud to start; a Shrimp Bisque to follow, the Filet Mignon Au Poivre for her – for him as well only: “as rare as the chef was willing to make it” – and the Café Brulot for a dessert directly following their dinner. His French was so delightfully fluent; she enjoyed listening to him discuss the food options he had chosen for them with the waiter.
After the ordering was out of the way; Addie and Alastor sipped at the bubbling Champagne and chatted as amiably with one another as they had for their previous anniversaries.
There were a few brief awkward moments when their waiter would pass or pause nearby to their table; looking at Addie with a confused look before shaking his head and going about his work. Addie - of course - was used to this sort of thing while Alastor gave no kind of indication as to whether he had even noticed.
When the food arrived, Addie couldn’t remember ever having enjoyed a meal more – save for the meal Alastor had prepared for her himself…years ago.  When their meal was finished; Alastor led her away from the dining hall of the restaurant and into a large, open bar room. He took her to the long counter of the bar; ordering himself one Whiskey Rye, neat. When he looked to her for her own drink request, she ordered herself one as well.
“It’s kind of strange,” She told him as they waited for their drinks. “I mean, I wouldn’t have thought of you ordering a Whiskey Rye from a bar like this when you can just make one – however you like it - yourself.” 
Alastor laughed. “You think I’m going to drink whatever comes back to me in that glass? Heaven’s no! Neither shall you.” He told her. Just then their drinks were slid across the counter. He paid the bartender and taking the glasses, he led her to a small bar table with two stools.
“Ok….I’m confused.” She said, sitting down as he politely helped her into the stool before taking his own seat. “What’s the point of any of…of this then…if you’re going to just turn it into whatever you want anyway. I mean, you just paid the man...why are we even here?” She was asking him.
“My dearest, Adeline.” He gestured a small toast to her, taking a drink from his whiskey. “If you shall ever know anything about me, it is this. If I am anywhere, it is for the entertainment.”
Just then a live jazz band began playing from a stage across from them in the bar room. More and more people were going to the bar or heading toward the dance floor. Addie sipped her whiskey and felt a familiar warmth cascading down into her belly and thrumming through her veins.
“Wow…”She said; leaning back. “That…is wonderful.”
He smiled at her from behind his own glass, turning to watch the dancers and performers as the two of them enjoyed their drinks.
Finishing his glass, he patiently waited for her to be done with hers before standing up from his stool and courteously asking her to join him to dance.
To his amusement, she readily agreed. He happily pulled her with him to a spot in the room. Immediately, he started leading them into a swing-y jazz step to the rhythm coming from the lively band. He was surprised to find that she easily - seamlessly even – kept time with his steps; smoothly following him into every turn, dip or spin he guided her into.
“Why, Adeline!” His smile nearly split his face. “You’ve been taking lessons!” He laughed, spinning her around again.
“I have!” She laughed with him, smiling at the genuine joy he expressed. “Ten years worth of them!”
“Well, let’s show these Crescent City folks what it means to really jive!”
Pulling her with him; he led her through a series of increasingly more advanced routines. He was still a much better dancer than her; but what truly impressed her was how flawlessly he was able to guide her through the more intricate stepping. Each time she felt herself about to falter, slip or make a mis-step; he carefully compensated and adjusted their movement so that every step she made seemed planned, purposeful and without error.
They were dancing so well together that people around them started to stop what they were doing; watching the couple working their way around the dance floor. Appreciative whistles and claps were filling the bar room and Addie felt herself blushing from the unexpected attention they were now getting.
Noting her brief distraction; Alastor pulled her in close to him for a bouncing two-step. “Ah, ah, dear Adeline.” He purred. “Tonight is for just you and me.” Effectively bringing her full attention back to him and what they were doing. She felt something briefly, almost a kind of tightening within her before he spun her smoothly into a transitional step, going into a quick jitterbug.
After several songs; Addie had to stop. Out of breath and her head spinning from it all; she excused herself for a visit to the lady’s room. He offered to get them another round of drinks. Taking her hand, - with the black rose corsage wound around the wrist - he brought it to his lips; lightly kissing her skin just beside the wooden ring before letting go and politely stepping away.
In the bathroom – alone – Addie stood by the sink; looking at the reflection of the wooden ring and the black rose corsage in the mirror. Her hands were on the counter, trembling slightly. Her vision blurred briefly as hot tears dripped onto the beautiful, smooth granite top. Her shoulders shook as she choked back a ragged sob from leaving her chest. Forcing herself to take a deep breath, she steadied herself.
She had made her decision.  
She would do it tonight.
She would relinquish her tired soul.
Though she had been away for some time, Alastor never commented on her absence when she came back to their small table near the bar. He was sitting; perfectly happy, content on watching others dance, continually listening to the live band play as he nursed his whiskey. She had recovered herself and, smiling warmly at him for politely helping her into her stool again, she took her seat at the table. Pulling her own glass of whiskey over to start on.
She couldn’t help but watch him enjoying the evening. Relaxed, he was sitting back, eyes closed now as he softly bounced his head to the rhythm coming from the music. The long fingers of one hand were delicately tapping a beat along the table’s edge. His ever-present smile, stretched across his face. She could hear the soft notes of him humming, intermingling with all of the other sounds of the evening.
For the briefest of moments: she wondered. What would his reaction be to her decision tonight? Would any part of him actually miss this...or would he simply…forget her.
She took a deep swallow of the whiskey; appreciating the sharp burn it left trailing down her chest. She then, too, wondered: what it would feel like. When he took her soul from her…would there be pain, suffering or even anguish? Or would she just…stop existing…resigning herself to the absolute nothingness that would be there, waiting for her.
She shivered. Opening his eyes, Alastor tilted his head, looking at her now.
“You are very quiet, Adeline.” He commented, seriously.
“Just watching you.” She told him, taking another swallow from her whiskey. “You seem to be rather enjoying yourself.”
His smile widened.
“You’re always doing that.” She told him. “Smiling. I admit, it’s quite clever of you.”
“Oh?” His head tilting more now, eyes gleaming.
“A smile…it inspires people; uplifts and reassures them. But,” She went on. “It also keeps them guessing. It gives you complete control over nearly any situation you’d ever find yourself in. I mean, who could ever truly know: what you’ve got hidden there, underneath.”
Laughter slowly bubbled and built from deep within his chest, turning into raucousness. A few people turned their attention to his merriment, obviously curious of the joke he must be enjoying, but then all went about their evening.
“Oh, dearest Adeline,” His shoulders were shaking, his laughter only just abating. “You are so…insightful.” The word came out, almost like a growl from within his throat. He was smiling rather wickedly at her now. Even as a human, he could be rather scary.
“Yes…well. You asked.” She finished off her whiskey.
He softly chuckled to himself.    
“Listen.” She set her glass down now. “I want to…”
She hesitated, not sure how to say it. He was sitting across from her, an arm resting across the table as he waited for her to continue. Not really thinking anything of it, she reached out and placed a hand on the sleeve of his suit jacket, touching his forearm.
“I want to…to thank you. This has been an…amazing evening. I don’t know how I can express to you just how much it…means. To me.” Her hand squeezing around his arm briefly, as she emphasized this.
There was a tiny moment when she had first reached out and touched him that something…changed, a sharp tension. It was so quick that she barely registered it. Of course, he didn’t appreciate her physically touching him; but with all the dancing and whatnot she really hadn’t considered it would be that much of an issue. He, himself, made a show of the small moments in which he had touched her. Really, it was very one-sided. She supposed that’s just how he preferred it.
“The pleasure is all mine, my dear.” He told her now, his other arm coming across the table to settle his hand on hers. He had softened, his eyes warm. In this small moment between them, he hadn’t moved away from her touch in the slightest. When he lifted his hand from hers though, sliding himself from his seat at the stool, she really wasn’t surprised when he politely excused himself for a moment – presumably, going to the men’s room.
She sighed, wondering just how the rest of this evening would play out.
Entering the men’s bathroom, Alastor made a disgusted sound, entering the small but pristine toilet room that was apart from the urinals. He closed the door behind him, then turning around and leaning with his forehead pressed against the cool wood, he let out a tense, hissing sigh.
“How…irritating.” He mumbled.
He stood like that for a few moments, breathing deeply, waiting. Soon though, his irritation grew – much like the barely visible bulge that was making an appearance just at his crotch. He pressed his head harder into the smooth surface of the door, gritting his teeth in his annoyance.
It had been…awhile…since he had had an arousal catch him at a bad time. They were not a totally uncommon event for him. It was an unfortunate biological need his body demanded, even as a demon. Though…he was more apt to have an arousal when he was in his human form, it seemed. Sighing again, he tried shifting into his form as the radio demon; hoping to dissuade his body from continuing with this nonsense. He could handle the situation here and now - if it came to that - but the thought filled him with such true revulsion – having to do something so leud…here…tonight; he quickly dismissed it as solution to his problem.  
The form change had helped though. He could feel himself calming down now.
Truly though, what bad timing. Adeline had merely touched him; hardly even. And, after they had been dancing together all evening…He had seen her reaching across the table to place her hand on his jacket and he knew what the gesture was. But, when he felt her; heat had shot through his body like an electrical shock; heat that had simmered the blood in his veins; sending it rushing to –. To think something so inconsequential would get a rise out of him was abhorrent.
Feeling better now, Alastor shifted back to human form. Taking careful precautions, he adjusted himself so that if he were to have any further issues, the result would be much less noticeable. He likely would have to deal with his situation at some point - later on - but right now, he was a gentleman. Leaving the toilet room, he went to one of the sinks. He washed his hands and then splashed cool water across his face before drying off. He fussed with his hair and his suit jacket for a moment, then left the men’s room.
Returning to his seat across from Adeline, he reached back for his whiskey. He waited for her to comment on his absence; ready to disarm any question or statement she had for it but she said nothing.
She was watching the band play; her head resting in her hands as her delicate body leaned across the table; her legs were crossed, the sharp defining slit in her red dress justifiably emphasizing them; her long, brown hair cascading across her lean shoulders; her eyes softly reflecting lights from the club; her seven freckles painting a unique constellation across her beautiful…and smiling face.
A dull, throbbing heat flared in Alastor’s groin, and he was grateful for the prudent adjustments he had made before leaving the restroom.
This was more than just an irritation to him now.
This was a problem.
[[Please STAY WITH ME here!!! There are REASONS!!!]]
_____________________________________________________________
Chapter 8
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candymay · 1 year
Text
Talking Shame in Bones And All
My problem with Bones And All is ultimately how it’s been promoted to the public: a lust-filled love story about two cannibals in the American landscape. Then, some are left disappointed from expecting a gritty, consuming kind of romance slash horror. Or perhaps it’s the sweet remnants of Luca’s success of depicting love and passion through Call Me By Your Name (and other films from the desire trilogy) that wasn’t quite the same in this one. But to me, it’s just simply not what Bones And All wants to talk about. 
[SPOILERS AHEAD]
It almost feels like an antithesis of Luca’s previous romance film. If Elio and Oliver’s relationship grows naturally in a safe environment of acceptance and intelligence, a literal family home in beautiful Crema where nothing happens, Maren and Lee’s relationship builds from their shared nature that seems to stick with them, carrying the family curse of being the ‘others’ in the world without a home but stolen cars, driving fast but going nowhere in particular. If CMBYN is a slow-flowing Italian river, BA is a muddy American pit. Oliver’s snug swimming trunks, versus Maren’s heavy hard-structured oversized jacket.
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So I guess it won’t be fair for me to compare them as they are completely different in nature. One is about acceptance, the other is about shame. What stuck with me the most, however, is BA’s concept of love as a partnership. I remember Sully’s words, “You don’t need to be alone. You can bond with me as long as you like,” and Maren’s question to Lee, “Why did you offer to bring me along?” to which he simply answers with, “You seem nice”. Perhaps it seems bleak that these ‘eaters’ are bonding with each other even with the lack of ‘love’ just in order to survive, but hasn’t it been like that for most of us too, our parents and the generations above us, for years and years?
I thought it was an interesting take on the reality of building a family, a discussion about our current period of time where our generation is waking up to break generational trauma cycles, which is painful, confusing, and alienating.
I’m very intrigued with Maren and Lee’s characters as the symbol of hope and sacrifice in the name of love. Maren is on the road to find her mother, but really to understand herself. However she seems aimless most of the time, her intention and actions aren’t clear like Lee’s. Just like our generation, she’s angry and confused. She knows she doesn’t want to be like her mother. She just doesn’t know how.
On the other side, Lee survives for his remaining family who still believes in him; his sister and Maren. He goes out of town, eats people, goes back to his sister, and goes out of town again when hunger strikes. His questions have always been, “Do I seem nice?”, “Do you think I’m a bad person?” (and again for the last time, “Am I bad?”). My favorite scene of him was when he dances to a KISS song, struts to the mirror, and catches the remaining blood on his neck then goes completely shut, murmurs to Maren that he’s going to take a shower. It’s simple, but it tells a lot about his guilt and shame. Hope is a powerful thing that brings hope to others. In this case, Maren seems to be Lee’s last hope for salvation. “Maybe love will set you free.” In the end, he sacrifices his body to Maren knowing that his sister has been eaten like he ate his father as if in an act of atonement.
To me, the chemistry isn’t supposed to be romantic in the traditional sense, because it’s no traditional love after all. At first I was a little dismayed by the lack of ‘chemistry’ on screen, I personally think they’re quite detached from each other. But that only sets the tone of realism on how two people who used to be alone for years would be with one another. How the guard is up as a subconscious act of self-preservation, even with their closest ones - even when they try. They don’t talk about their nightmares, but they take turns driving while watching each other sleep. It’s chaste, and the only times the band snaps are when they ravenously ‘eat’ together or when they talk about their traumas from their parents. The love manifests in the form of protection, sharing ‘food’, and literally killing someone to save the one you love. But of course, that’s just my take.
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That all being said, I think the difference between Maren and Lee is their views toward the future. That we can stick to what we know and love the way we always know how, or go further and seek another option, as dark as the future might seem.
“We don’t have many options, Maren. Either you eat, you off yourself, or you lock yourself up like her in there.” 
Maren’s future is uncertain, but we can hold on to the fact that she knows she can’t stay still and let her monster dictate her own ambition to better her life. We don’t know how, and she doesn’t know how yet. But one thing is for sure, at least we know that it’s a one step forward.
...
I actually really enjoyed this film despite a few “God I wish it was much gorier” (now I know why Luca hates it when people focus on the cannibalism part too much!) I wish I could deep dive more into Lee’s character (his choice of fashion.. and how embarrassed he got by getting called a slur word by his sister from the way he dresses and sheepishly takes off his shirt). All is just my rambly opinion though!!✌️🖤
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childotkw · 1 year
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i was wondering how do u think luke’s family reacts to the change? as in his closer family
rhaenyra watching her sweet boy go from a pure loving child to a distant predator
jace watching his brother who once couldn’t even defend himself from his own family become rabid with desire to spill blood
daemon would be especially confusing, would he indulge the boy’s violence and find a kindered soul or maybe he would be as horrified as the rest watching luke change
omg would it have any physical changes on him?
such a great au i’m overthinking the fuck outta it
An excellent question! None of them would hate Luke, there'd just be an adjustment period for all of them.
Currently, my view on them are:
Rhaenyra - At first, she would be too relieved to notice. She had thought she'd lost another child, and having him come back to her in spite of his uncle and the gods, would override any initial concern over his changes. But she's a seasoned mother and Luke is her favourite child - she'd pick up on things quickly, and then the worry would set in. She'd mourn the loss of his innocence and would cling to any glimmer of his former self that made an appearance, though she'd understand and would never reject him - because in her eyes, that would be tantamount to wishing he had died.
Jace - Similar to their mother, Jace would just be relieved that his brother survived. I'm tossing up between whether he'd deliberately ignore the more concerning changes in Luke, or if he'd be the first to catch on. Probably the second, because I like the idea of an older brother struggling to let go of those engrained beliefs, and having to confront the truth that his brother doesn't really need his protection anymore. Either way, Jace, while he'd be concerned, would still back Luke 100%, and would try to connect with this new version of his little brother. Aemond is definitely on his shit-list though and he'd hate the fact that Luke is more than a bit obsessed with their uncle.
Daemon - He'd be the one Luke goes to because if anyone can understand the dark thing building in Luke's heart, it would be his stepfather. Daemon would treat Luke carefully, watching his growth with interest and encouraging him to learn to fight more viciously. Daemon, with his mind full of war, would also see Luke and Cannibal as a massive asset, and once Luke expressed interest in it, he'd be the one to talk Rhaenyra around to letting Luke out to fight. He still loves Luke, of course, and is protective in his own way, but he understands that there are some things people never recover from. All he wants is to ensure Luke is prepared so that the next time he faces Aemond, things are more in his favour.
Rhaena - I'll mention Rhaena as well, since I want to give her friendship with Luke it's proper due. I don't see them as romantically interested in each other, instead, they'd likely be best friends. Rhaena, I feel, would be the first person Luke actually confessed to - explaining why Cannibal claimed him. He'd tell her about eating Arrax, and the shame he feels. Rhaena would be a huge pillar of support for him, and her acceptance of him would be a recurring theme of their friendship. Luke has always respected and valued her, even before their betrothal, and Rhaena can't imagine a life without Luke by her side - whether that's as her brother, her husband, or just her friend.
That's as deep as I can go at the moment, but I hope that gives you an idea! I like drawing parallels between characters, and I like the juxtaposition of the Blacks unconditionally accepting Luke, while Aemond struggles to be accepted by the Greens due to his actions.
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xxmia0wxx · 11 months
Text
Backrooms POI: Finley and Funny
Name(s): Finley and Funny
Aliases: "the Friendly Partygoer"(Funny) Team BoredFun, Fin+Fun
Dummy grumpy pants (Finley) =)
Funny dont add that in =(
You can't tell me what to do! XD
A stupid annoying idiot (Funny) =(
Hey! thats meeeeaaaaan >=(
Shut up =(
Last known location(s): Level 1, Level 5, Level 2, Level 11,
Known Affiliations: The Pity Partiers are the best and you should visit them =)
look I know they sound suspicious but you should listen to them =(
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(Funny and Finley running from a smiler and a more clear, edited version of the smae photo)
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Description: Finley and Funny are a unlikely duo of two eneties. (A rouge partygoer and a thought to be extinct partypooper) they have been seen wanderering Levels in deep conversation with one another, running from other entities
We dont do that! >=(
yeah we do actually =(
they seem to have a interest in guns and weapons as they have been seen carring many swords, guns and bazookas and making them as well
YEAH! THEIR AWESOME! right Fin? =)
Yeah i guess their cool =|
they love it =)
They both seem to be neutral on humans, they have been only seen killing them when negatively provoked
Uh YEAH? of course we respond violently to dumb, rude people! thats how it works dummy! =)
I think they're talking about how you clawed someones eye out when they accidentally bumped into you =(
It was level 201! I was on edge! >=(
Level 201 isn't that dangerous dumbass =(
you know why I didn't feel safe... Im not usually like that, honest! you can be a funny joke if you change your perspective! =)
Despite Funny being a partygoer, they have never been seen Hunting or eating wanderers but have been seen eating a prompus amount of Cannibal Cusinie.
Honestly cannbial cusinie so much more tastier =)
Im surprised you haven't gotten fat with how you eat that shit =(
Youda mean? =|
I'm just sayin its not good for you =(
WELL the more I eat, the less their is for the humans, DUH! =)
Finley has been known to be very cold and somewhat hostile to wanders, often pointing guns at wnaders but often never shooting
Don't worry, they only pull guns when they are just when They're grumpy, YOU SHOULD SEE WHEN THEY'RE MAD! HAHAHA! =)
Partygoers and PartyPoopers are infamous for being natural mortal enemies, but Finley and Funny have been seen either neutral or Straight-up romantic with eachother wait, wait, wait, WAIT. what do you mean by romantic? =(
uh fin we've been dating forever you stupid ass =)
Don't tell them that! >=(
Awwww! are you embarrassed?~ =)
im kicking you out of the room =(
Behaviors: Funny Has been known to be friendly albeit very malicious and dark regarding to their sense of humor, often making jokes about murder, missing family members, self harm, destruction, mental illness, or just straight up being rude piece of shit
You just gotta have the right mind set to get my jokes, Or at least a Mind at all! =)
as stated before Finley has been known being, cold, crass, rude, cynical but still helpful even if it doesn't effect them positivly. they have also been known to make edgy remarks reminiscent of that of a middle schooler who thinks they're depressed.
>=(
The following Is a interview log with The two eneties and dehila of the m.e.g in hopes to understand their odd situation better
____________________________________
Dehila: *Calmly walks over to Finley and Funny* Um excuse me-
Funny: FINELY SHOOT IT WITH FIRE ITS A SKIN STEALER!
-the tape cuts out for 20 minutes-
Finley: sorry about Asshole overthere *they point to Finny* they can't tell a clicker from a skin stealer
Funny: OH well excuuuuusse me for being jumpy in a plane of existence with cosmic entity cakes and hivemind cults following a dumb bluebird!
Dehila: oh it's quite alrig-
-the tape cuts out again
Dehila: so how did you two meet?
Finley: long story, but after the fun war PartyPoopers decided to stay in the promised land for "preservation of out species" or some dumb shit like that, but I left caused that Was the stupidest thing ive ever heard-
Funny: HA! not as dumb as you wanderering the halls alo-
-The tape cuts out again-
Dehlia: so you two have a bit of a enemies to lovers thing going on huh?
Funny: Eh, I guess, i mean we still fight ALL the time, and they're Super boring if that wasn't obvious! but.. i dunno They're a boring person, but Super fun to be around with! They taught me how to shoot a railgun, We made a bazooka that fires chainsaws, we smoke MJ together, They tell the best jokes! they've kinda become my muse!
Dehila: Aww thats so sweet- wait What about memory-
Funny: Nothing.
Finley: Yeah Funnys alright, Its nice to have someone who gets me, or Not takeing literally everything thing I say personally
Dehila: so funny, what separates you from the rest of the Partygoer?
Funny: Well I hate killing humans for starters, You guys are a alot funner alive, And Also Cannibal Cusinie Just tatses better, oh and also Being unwittingly controled by a giant birthday cake is super lame honestly, plus I'm having so much Fun With Finley!.... but I do miss friends back in level fun...
Finely: *sighs* ..yeah thats the hardest part about leaving..
Dehlia: so I've heard alot about "The pity Partiers" what is that exactly?
Finley: *akward silence*
Funny: Uhh.. well.. Uhhh
Funny:
Funny: you see when you love someone very much-
Finley: they're our kids
Dehlia: All of them?!?! they're like 50 of them!
Finley: 160 actually, Partypeople usally have 40 per litter
Funny: Yeah, why do you think were everywhere?
Finley: Anyways don't worry about them, their (mostly) harmless, right fun?
Funny: I think I have something in my teeth
Finley: yeah just don't hurt them alright?
________________________________________
log ends
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imtotallyokandnormal · 6 months
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hiii!! I’m not great at making requests, sorry if this is shittily explained
can you do romantic johndoe headcannons with a reader who plays the guitar and is basically the most stereotypical metalhead in any hollywood film?
Ah my first request!! That's a really fun idea, I'll do my best! By the way I switch between he and they pronouns for Doe, but in future requests I may use she as well since they're genderfluid!
Reader: gn reader
Warnings: none!
Image link: hi!
☆John Doe x Metalhead You!☆
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- John definitely wouldn't be one to judge music taste, I imagine he likes all kinds of music (they like seeing the effects different kinds of music has on them). So introducing him to your favorite bands would be really exciting for him!
- He would definitely get immersed into the music, rocking back and forth in time with the beat as he listens with the biggest grin on his face. Of course they likely won't be taking their eyes off you the whole time, but you'll be able to tell by the look in his eyes (they look almost like they're...vibrating?) that he really does enjoy it.
- They definitely wouldn't understand a lot about genres of music, so they're likely to get something wrong (a lot of things actually), but he'd love for you to teach him about different kinds of metal and the intricacies of each genre! Honestly you could talk about the lead guitarist in Cannibal Corpse's grandma or something like that and he'd be completely soaking in every word you say like it's gospel.
- If you have piercings/tattoos honestly they'd be a bit worried about you, not that they don't like them, but they worry about you being hurt. He's learned that humans aren't exactly as durable as he is, so he worries about you doing things like that. Still, they'd definitely be fascinated by your body modifications, tracing their fingers over your tattoos with wide studying eyes or just full on staring at a piercing of yours. They like to study it close, the tip of his nose it practically always touching you because he gets THAT up close (they do not know personal space).
- If you have long metalhead hair he LOVES to play with it! He's practically never off of you anyway but to add onto that his hand is almost always in your hair to some capacity. It doesn't matter if your hair is straight, curly, in dreads, whatever, they WILL play with it. And of course they'll giggle and give you praise while doing it.
- If you have a band. Oh my lord if you have a band they are the BIGGEST FAN YOU GUYS HAVE. They always follow you to practice just to watch you, if you made merch he'd use all of his collected (possibly stolen) money to buy it so he can support you. And during gigs if you give him attention amongst the crowd (like giving him a wink) he WILL quite literally melt onto the floor.
- They love seeing you play guitar and he likes to study how your fingers move along the strings. If you play something at home he'd be mesmerized just by how skillfully you play. He'd absolutely love to have you teach him but I'll be totally honest he's not good at it. He will play the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard and excitedly ask you if they did well (and you can't say no because he just looks so hopeful, pupils all wide).
-Concerts...if you guys went on a concert date he gets fairly protective. He's not always protective, but in places that have big crowds or anywhere unfamiliar to you in The Uncanny Valley he absolutely does. Their usual clinginess is accompanied by them squeezing your arm or hand or hugging you a bit tighter than usual. Honestly they might not be entirely focused on enjoying the night unless you snap them out of it because in their mind anything could happen at any moment. The noise and closeness of everyone in the crowd doesn't exactly calm him either.
- If you do snap him out of it and reassure him things will be fine, then he'll loosen up a bit. He just gets worried about you, about how easily you could slip away from him. But they don't want to stop you from enjoying yourself, so they'd try to focus on the fun parts (while still keeping an eye out for anyone that might try to hurt you).
- You just might need to give him lots of cuddles at home afterwards.
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greetings and salutations, hope I don’t bother you too much by sending in such a random ask. may I please have a romantic matchup for bg3?
I use they/them pronouns and I’m pansexual. my myers briggs type is INFJ and my star sign is taurus.
Im about 4’11..not to happy about it. I’m kind of introverted, and can be considered not a people person. I find life a little nihilistic. I’m into dressing in all black (trad, mopey, mall, black-metal, and hippie goth styles mainly, both fem and masc) or and taking a liking to gruesome and morbid things like slashers, analog horror, witchcraft, true crime, necromancy, anatomy, etc. I typically consider myself a "gorehound" ig. I participate in "Vulture Culture"; and I also like to visit abandoned places just for fun, along with playing quite a few escape rooms. I just have a genuine comfort in the uncomfortable.
I’ve come to the conclusion I just scare people off. In reality, I’m intimidated by everyone around me and find it hard to start talking, which may or may not come off as rude to people.
when I become comfortable with someone I start to become really sarcastic and joke around with them with witty banter. most of my humor comes off really insulting, and I’m brutally honest, but I’ll apologize and say it’s a joke or I didn’t mean it if it becomes a problem. even though I do have a hard time understanding social cues.
lots of people don’t like me or stay away from me because of my rude behavior. I’m not good with overly sensitive or overly annoying people at all because of that, and I can’t stand kids. Idiocy can get on my nerves too sometimes. I’m a huge animal person though, and I own four guinea pigs that I protect with my life. I have my moments where I can get really feisty, or very quiet and closed off. I’ve been told I’m also a laidback person. I’ve also been told I never know when to quit, and I find I hold grudges for certain things. It’s not as common now but I used to get called a vampire by other kids when I was younger since I had oddly pointy canine teeth. I find it funny, seeing how I am today. I also have an inside joke with my family where they call me "Irl Daria" which I find funny.
I’m the type of person that has lots of opinions on things but I keep them to myself and bottle them up. If pushed far enough I’ll become unforgiving, and aggressive. especially with the types mentioned above.
I find the most comfort in just being in my room drawing, listening to music ( the cure, pierce the veil, deftones, soad, cannibal corpse, slipknot, rob zombie,,,, sometimes radiohead, insane clown posse, jazmin bean or mother mother, etc. ), or even occasionally playing video games, reading, writing, or talking about a random conspiracy theory I have. I do acting in my spare time as a small hobby too, and I’m learning how to play electric guitar. I also work as a scare actor.
I’m a plushie maniac and when I fall asleep you can always see me cuddled up to one of them. I find it because I’m really touch starved. I also have this specific blanket I can literally not sleep without. Im also a caffeine addict, and I’m guilty of being very submissive and maybe even masochistic- and a bit of a pyromaniac. I dissociate or daydream a lot, so you can often catch me starring.
I suffer from a handful off mental and physical syndromes like asd, insomnia, asthma, depression and anxiety. These have all been diagnosed professionally, and I’m definitely not trying to make myself "quirky". unfortunately health problems run in my family.
I’m very fidgety, and often bite the inside of my cheek or bounce my leg rapidly. you don’t need to rocmantasize this stuff ofc, but I think it’s good to know so the person can tolerate me.
you do get to this, thanks for your time. <3
A/N: Thank you so much for all the details!! It helps the process. Because you said you’re pansexual but didn’t specify whether you wanted a male or female companion or both, I gave you both just in case. So feel free to pick the person who feels the most accurate to you!
TW: Mentions of Gore, Horror
For you @br4inr0tx I think you’d be a good romantic match for either Astarion (Male) or Minthara (Female)!
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⭒ Astarion is drawn to your mysterious and rather nihilistic nature. He is seen as intimidating or scary due to his immortal condition, and because of this, he puts up walls to keep himself safe from judgmental people. That being said, he doesn’t necessarily hide his true nature: he’s very upfront about his more, morbid opinions, and makes it clear that he disapproves of unnecessary altruistic choices, especially when those choices involve having to appear more “normal” for the comfort of other people in the game.
He finds your gorehound interests fascinating, and oddly calming in a way. After a lifetime of being exposed to so much gore, there’s something familiar and controllable about watching or reading about fictional simulated gore that puts him at ease. So he one hundred percent understands how it is you find comfort, as you said, in the uncomfortable.
Astarion is also pansexual, and very fond of the more dramatic ‘gothic’ styles in clothing. He loves getting to experiment in both fem and masc styles with you. He might even ask to borrow something of yours, as long as he could fit it. He is taller than you, but still fairly thin. I honestly don’t think he’d mind wearing one of your tops as a sort of crop-top thing, so long as no one else was around. I think he might take pleasure in flaunting it, just to get a reaction out of you. He thinks it’s adorable when he teases you, and you just ramp up all the sarcasm and wit. He’s very glad to have a ‘fast’ partner- someone who can quip back at him in the blink of an eye. It keeps him on his toes, and confirms that you feel comfortable with him- two things he likes.
And if you like abandoned or liminal places, just hold on to your hat. He knows tons of them in and outside of the city. Being a vampire had him hunting on the outskirts, and he knows them all rather intimately. When your relationship reaches that serious level, he’ll take you to where his headstone rests, in a cemetery in Baldur’s Gate. He’s not buried under there, but his family must have put it up to commemorate his life after he went “missing”. It’s sacred ground to him. And you’re one of the few people he loves enough to take there. Mainly because you are his partner and because he knows you won’t run at the sight of such things. Knowing he has a partner who doesn't shy away from the darker, more twisted stuff is reassuring. Especially when so much of your past is complicated.
He too is rather intimidated by people. Although he may not always admit it. So much of his feistiness comes from fear. In the past people have hurt him, so now he walks the line of nice and jerk to keep people at arm's length. He’s not really an ass though, and he’s appreciative, you know that. He knows you’re not rude or cold, just introverted and a little insecure. He’ll gladly defend your behavior to anyone who dares complain. No stranger better dare cast judgment on you when they don’t know who you’re really like when they have no clue what either of you have been through. Seriously though, just say the word and he’ll take care of them for you.
Teeth twins! Astarion jokes that you’re obviously his soulmate because your teeth match. And seeing pointier teeth on you, someone he sees as beautiful, makes him feel less self-conscious about his.
Having to shield from the sun, he’s more of an indoor activity sort of person. He loves staying inside and listening to music or reading with you. Just the two of you and your pile of plushies. Astarion enjoys their comfort as well, even if he won’t admit it outright. It’s a way for him to get physical comfort when he desperately wants to touch/hold you but is too upset or raw to do so.
In some ways, he shares in your submissiveness and masochism, but those are still very touchy subjects. It takes him a while to communicate that to you. He dissociates often as well, so he’s thankful you understand what a dissociative episode is like. Most people just assume he’s ignoring them, but you know the truth. The two of you look out for each other in that way.
As a Taurus Intuitive, you’re prone to contemplating the long term, and as a Taurs Judger, you’re often determined and work hard to make your dreams a reality. This works well with Astarion, who I think is either an ENTJ or ESFP- both signs that tend to be go-getters in their own way.
He’s not a very fidgety person, his anxiety forcing him to be anxious inside but still on the outside. But he does understand the root feelings. He doesn't think it’s annoying at all. If anything he finds your leg bouncing comforting. It reminds him you’re still by his side.
And for that, he is eternally grateful.
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☾ Minthara would also be a good match for you! Although she is a lot more abrasive and rough around the edges, I think she’d be very appreciative of your darker interests. At camp, if you take a look in her tent, she actually has what looks like a deer or horse skull candle holder. So she would actively join you in your Vulture Culture escapades.
She also finds great joy in the gorier aspects of life. As a drow, violence is almost second nature. It doesn't scare her off or intimidate her in any way. And if you like abandoned or liminal places, you’re sure to enjoy the Underdark- which is basically a giant spooky underground liminal space.
Minthara is the farthest thing from a people person, so she has absolutely no qualms about you not being extroverted or especially inclined to make acquaintances with strangers. She’s glad you scare people off, if you didn’t, she’d have to. (I mean she still does naturally, but she doesn’t have to put as much effort into it, because no one is gonna mess with the two of you combined.)
Being an INFJ, and Minthara being an ENTJ, you are similar in that you can contemplate various topics- both realistic and abstract. However you have to be careful and remember while ENTJs may sound insensitive, they’re just very direct communicators. Based on what you told me about your personality, this shouldn't be a problem for you, however, as you’re very brutally honest yourself.
Minthara herself is funny. It’s just that her humor is more sarcastic, a little morose, and very situational. She doesn’t find your humor offensive, and if anyone has a problem with it, they will answer to her.
Despite what others may think, Minthara likes animals. When Scratch is gone, she’s noticeably sad. I think she’d like to be a co-parent to your guinea pigs.
She’s not very laid back, preferring action to inaction. But that’s okay. You remind her to take breaks and time to chill- just sit and rest or read or write or listen to music. Not everything has to be full speed ahead. On the other hand, she helps motivate you to do things outside of your comfort zone. She’ll pull you out of your room, to go on walks with her around the surface. The two of you are sort of yin and yang this way.
She’s impressed with your work as a scare actor. In Drow culture, being able to intimidate others and strike fear into the hearts of your enemies is an admirable quality. She sees your talent as an impressive hobby to have, one which many people are not capable of.
She’s rather touch starved as well- having to expect betrayal everywhere she goes in Drow society. Because of this, she finds the idea of sleeping with plushies useful. It’s unexpected, but she finds a good deal of comfort in them. And she finds a great deal of comfort in you.
And don’t be shy about your masochistic side with her. She has one as well. She pushes herself to her limits, causing herself intentional pain and suffering. For her, it is like a religion in some ways. The more she can endure, the stronger others believe she is. Of course, it’s always nice to not have to push, to be able to take it slow and enjoy your company in the moment. That’s where you come in.
Minthara may not have the kindest tone, but she tries her best to reassure you that despite your many ailments, she loves you all the same. She thinks you’re strong enough to be able to not only endure life with so many invisible burdens but to live life in ways you wish. To her, it’s an exquisite quality to have in a mate. You are marvelous in her eyes.
She can’t imagine the rest of her life without you.
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usbotthrills · 1 year
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Now that I’ve officially read 50 books this year I want to list some of my top ones, because let’s face it, I love talking about books…
The goldfinch (Donna Tartt) - Theodore Decker was 13 years old when his mother was killed in a bombing at the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York. The tragedy changes the course of his life, sending him on a stirring odyssey of grief and guilt, reinvention and redemption, and even love. Through it all, he holds on to one tangible piece of hope from that terrible day -- a painting of a tiny bird chained to its perch. // This one isn’t a surprise, with all I talk about it’s a little obvious I’m obsessed. This book really takes masterpiece to a new level, with it so intricately thought out, with the characters feeling almost real. It’s a book that will stick with me forever.
The secret history (Donna Tartt) - Under the influence of their charismatic classics professor, a group of clever, eccentric misfits at an elite New England college discover a way of thinking and living that is a world away from the humdrum existence of their contemporaries. But when they go beyond the boundaries of morality, their lives are changed profoundly and for ever. // Can you tell I like Donna Tartt?? Because fucking hell, I do. If you’re looking for a book to fall in love with - this is the one.
This Is How You Lose A Time War (Max Gladstone, Amal El-Mohtar) - Thus begins an unlikely correspondence between two rival agents hellbent on securing the best possible future for their warring factions. Now, what began as a taunt, a battlefield boast, grows into something more. Something epic. Something romantic. Something that could change the past and the future. // Did I know what was going on in this book? No. But I loved it. Now, it’s a confusing book, we can all agree on that, but it’s so well written, you feel compelled to read more.
Tender is the Flesh (Agustina Bazterrica) : Working at the local processing plant, Marcos is in the business of slaughtering humans--though no one calls them that anymore. // Looking for the most fucked up book you’ll ever read?? Well here you go, nothing says fucked up like graphic descriptions of cannibalism and human being treated like cattle. But, I think I like this book for how messed up it was - it’s the sort of book that stays with you.
Heaven (Mieko Kawakami) : In Heaven, a fourteen-year old boy is tormented for having a lazy eye. Instead of resisting, he chooses to suffer in silence. The only person who understands what he is going through is a female classmate, Kojima, who experiences similar treatment at the hands of her bullies. Providing each other with immeasurable consolation at a time in their lives when they need it most, the two young friends grow closer than ever. But what, ultimately, is the nature of a friendship when your shared bond is terror? // This is another one of those books I’m not going to forget any time soon. It just pulled emotions from me like it was easy and I’ll be forever in awe at how this book has my very soul.
If there’s anything we should take from this, it’s that I like messed up books. And you know what, I’m fine with that
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