#canonically most of them don’t have asses which is very sad for all of us

[treysimp]

(What are you a furry /jokejokejokejoke)

@thesunshineriptide

We all made sacrifices in the war. God Bless Our Leona for gave the most (his tail & his dignity) for the sake of finally having a fat ass 😭

[sirensskai]

My Ripp Grunt headcanons

It was about time I put them all in one place because as you can tell I’m obsessed with him and have a lot😭 Some of them might make no sense whatsoever or sound weird or are probably me just projecting but who cares lol. If I forget any or think of more I’ll add them later. Also it’s going to be really long…

Anyway… “So Kai, how much do you like Ripp???”

Me:

Birthday

I have come up with a birthday for Ripp. December 13, 1988. (Yes I know December 13 is the same date as Taylor Swift lol.) He is a Sagittarius (that’s canon but that’s why I picked that birthday). I see sims 2 Strangetown as starting in 2005 and he was age 16-17 back then. He’s a year and several months younger than Tank and 4 years older than Buck.

Height

Kind of short for a guy, about 5.5. Tank and Johnny are significantly taller and he hates it.

Identity

He is bisexual and transmasculine. Maybe non binary too, specifically a non binary man (like a demiboy or something.)

Ripp has always been attracted to all genders. He doesn’t really care about that (can fit pansexual too.) He is open to seeing multiple people at once so is polyamorous too. Which can be one way of explaining the romance aspiration. And yes, he has a crush on both Ophelia and Johnny.

He is transgender and knew something was up from an early age. Like a lot of transmasc people he went down the “tomboy” to trans pipeline. He didn’t fully realise what being trans meant and that that was what he was until he was about 14 though. Ripp chose his name himself, idc. He thought it was cool.

Johnny and Ophelia were very supportive of him being trans. He had them at school when the bullies found something new to pick on. As was his mum Lyla who he is very close to. Buck didn’t fully understand at first because of being really young but is still very supportive. (Also Buck ended up becoming Rebecca and is transfem herself but that’s another character headcanon lol) Lyla helped him start HRT.

General Buzz though… I don’t see General Buzz as entirely transphobic. I think he’s the kind of person to prefer having sons, but is still weird about Ripp being trans. He is kind of against it at first but gets used to it. He would also want Ripp to be a man in the “right” way (based on a Tumblr post I saw.) He messes up pronouns sometimes but at least tries. He still thinks Ripp is a fucking lazy ass disappointment overall though 😭 “yeah you are trans or bi, whatever, but you are still my worst son ever.” I think he would be more concerned if any guy Ripp dated was an alien over the fact they were a guy (oops, he already has a crush on Johnny Smith.) General Buzz’s conflicting views about Ripp with Lyla also contributed to those two’s strained relationship. He sees a lot of Lyla in Ripp, in both appearance and personality and he hates being reminded of her.

Tank was in a similar position of getting used to it over time. Didn’t mean he stopped wanting to beat his ass all the time though. He had some internalised stuff he had to deal with himself though (being his own person with his own wishes and also, gay.)

Ripp took Lyla disappearing very hard, especially since she was the one helping with his transition. He was on his own. Things got complicated because General Buzz was still kind of unsupportive. Ripp snuck out for several days to get top surgery by himself and General Buzz was very angry about that.

Personality

He’s a very sweet person overall. He’s friendly with almost everyone and hates conflict, but if he is confronted he loves taking the piss out of them. He’s very positive most of the time despite his terrible life. Very talkative and can go on and on. Tries to make a joke and lighten the mood with just about everything, including himself, even if he does go too far sometimes (which he instantly feels bad about if he makes someone sad.) Definitely swears a lot which his father hates, but he loves annoying his father.

Relationships

I don’t think he has a bad relationship with his father and Tank forever. They make up at one point and maybe they don’t become really close but they at least get along somewhat again (no horrible PSP ending in my sims game.)

He was very close with Lyla, probably the most out of all three of Lyla’s sons so he was devastated when she left, and even more so when he found out she died. One of the few supportive people in his life and she was gone.

Him and Buck (or Rebecca later) are very close due to them both having a strained relationship with General Buzz. Rebecca looks up to Ripp a lot. Also they end up both being transgender which they make a joke out of later. “I can’t believe we’re both Grunts and trans.)

He’s been friends with Ophelia and Johnny since middle school. He hangs out with them a lot and prefers being with them to being at home. He loves being an idiot with Johnny but is sweet with Ophelia. He fell in love with Ophelia first then Johnny.

He met Lilith after she also ran away from home. The two became close because of that. They love poking fun at each other. He’s afraid Lilith will make fun of him if he tells her he likes her (but Lilith likes him too.)

Self insert time, he’s really sweet around Lana. Ripp talks a lot and Lana barely talks at all due to their extreme shyness but he doesn’t mind. He cares for them a lot. He is the most calm and gentle to them and loves listening to them ramble about their interests. He might want to marry her.

Music Career

Ripp was always interested in music, mostly rock music but he is open to other genres as well. I see him as being very into Nirvana. He started playing guitar at school with Johnny Smith, covering their favourite songs. Lyla got him own guitar, and he also started writing his own songs, uploading them to MySpace or something.

At one point he runs away from home and gets a trailer for himself. Away from his father, he has a lot more freedom to do what he wants with his life. He’s still working at the gas station and going to a lot of music labels and he eventually gets signed to one. He has his first major song released through them.

Ripp is the lead singer and guitarist in a band as well as a soloist, with Johnny Smith, Lilith Pleasant and Mercutio Monty, the last two he meets and befriends at one point. (Idk what to name this band yet lol.) Johnny also plays guitar, Lilith is the bassist and Mercutio plays the drums.

His music style is very diverse. And I’m also going to base them off Lana Del Rey albums and songs because why not. His very early work is very acoustic. The first ep and debut album he releases has influences of grunge, surf rock and psychedelic rock. A lot of guitar sounds. And whatever sounds come out of AKA Lizzy Grant.

He goes through some tough things in life which is why he takes a break between his debut and his second album. The sound of this album is quite different. Still guitar heavy but also very slowed, dark and psychedelic. Probably some of his most depressing songs ever. Definitely has a song calling out General Buzz. His Ultraviolence era. It’s a little bit of a concept album too, there’s some sort of storyline throughout. He wears black eyeliner on stage.

The next album is experimental, a little bit of the style of his first album back with the guitar but also some trap beats in there. If I could describe it in a Lana Del Rey song it would be Freak Like Me Demo. Also the most horny album. Bisexual anthem in there though.

The latest album I’ve imagined for Ripp (idk why I’ve imagined all these albums for a sims 2 premade, please help) he explores pop. Lust for Life era (I’m still drawing that, I have a vision.) It’s a lot more uplifting than his previous work and it changes the world. Also somewhat of a horny album too. He dies the ends of his hair purple.

Ripp moves to Del Sol Valley at one point when he becomes a celebrity and gets a house in the pinnacles.

He is definitely very popular in terms of being attractive. There are people making thirst TikToks of him and writing self insert fanfiction and everything. (Couldn’t be me. /s) Some fans are really obsessed with him. To the point they would leak his unreleased music and post it everywhere which is unfortunate but some of them are so good (I’m writing a fic based on this.)

He also does campaigns and advertisements and things as part of being a celebrity, there’s a billboard or magazine cover somewhere where he’s modelling underwear 🙏 And he also hopes it annoys his dad if he sees it and recognises his face lol

His social medias would be hilarious and he would also own terrible people.

Other random hcs

I think Ripp was an unplanned child. Lyla was happy to have him but General Buzz not so much, he kind of hated Ripp from day 1.

He was a “problem child” at least in General Buzz’s eyes and also the schools he went to where he had behaviour issues and struggled to focus. His dad made him see a psychologist. He’s autistic (or aspergers back in the late 90s-early 2000s, also I don’t think General Buzz is the most up to date) and has ADHD. I don’t think this helped with General Buzz already seeing him as a disappointment. Ripp gets really fixated on music (both certain artists and creating it) or certain tv shows or very unconventional things that are kind of uncomfortable for some people. Like literally just the subject of woohoo interests him and he wants to know everything about it lol. I think he fixates on philosophical stuff too like death and the purpose of life (another thing that can lead to some uncomfortable conversations.) Very unlike the stereotype of autism because he’s really outgoing and social too, but it is a spectrum.

I think he shows a lot of affection through touch.

Really dark hc but… 😭 Although he pretends it doesn’t, I think the terrible relationship he has with General Buzz and Tank, as well as Lyla disappearing and dying did really affect him. Has depression and some self esteem and emotional issues and fears abandonment. He has considered *unaliving* before. Also a weird relationship with food. Although he has max interest in food, and he eats a lot of food (but mostly junk food) he grew up with the pressure to remain thin. The dark period of his life between his first two albums involved that and he may have abused substances too. I’m a terrible person, I’m sorry 😭. The romance sim part of him might have spawned from craving the love he didn’t get at home. He feels undeserving of a real relationship but deep down that’s what he actually wants.

I am sorry to him for giving him all these traumatising hcs but I can’t help myself. He was bullied in his school years 🥲 The psp secret of him being afraid of toilets from “one too many swirlies as a child” is to do with this. Tank was involved too maybe, but I don’t believe it was all down to him and he’s a terrible person. With the trans headcanon, I think he was picked on by both boys and girls. Girls didn’t like him for being “weird” and boys would go out of their way to hurt him for trying to fit in with them.

Due to General Buzz being in the millitary, he travelled to a lot of places and moved around a lot prior to going back to middle school in Strangetown. I think he would become interested in different cultures and pick up some words of different languages. He lived in Tomerang at one point.

Ripp is kind of feminine. He isn’t afraid to like “feminine” things and he loves jewellery and painting his nails.

He has a brow piercing and a septum.

He gets a sleeve tattoo.

Has rarely ever cut his hair in his life, he lets it grow really long and he doesn’t care. He would hate for all of his hair to just be chopped off (and that’s also what his father wants)

Smokes, both cigarettes and weed. Tries to stop smoking the cigarettes later on though. Him, Johnny and Ophelia get stoned together and sometimes Lana if she’s willing.

He’s quite arty (his canonical one true hobby is set to arts and crafts.) Spends a lot of his time drawing anything from animals to horny “anatomy” pictures because why not. He takes art when he attends college.

Ripp is a great father. Idc about that romance aspiration, just because he has that doesn’t mean he’s a deadbeat father 😭 Like I’ve said before, that sounds like Don Lothario but not Ripp. His nice points are too high for that. Also being like his own dad would be the last thing he wants to be. He really cares for any kids he has, and the people pregnant with the kids. He would be a really fun dad, maybe a little permissive. Basically the opposite of General Buzz (and also how I think Lyla was.) He also cares for people in general instead of just wanting woohoo out of them.

Ripp is left handed. Sims 4 actually set him up as left handed for me lol. Left handed guitars are unavailable to him to start with so he’s forced to learn right handed 😰 But later on he gets a left handed guitar and plays amazing.

He has a tooth gap.

Cat person. General Buzz, Tank and Rebecca are all drawn to dogs but Ripp is the only cat lover 😭 He gets a havana or a maine coon (or both.)

I think Ripp fits the pleasure aspiration more than the romance aspiration to be honest. An aspiration that involves some romance but also not being a total sleaze and wanting to relax and have fun sounds more like him. It fits Lyla too (another reason why they were so close is that they had very similar personalities.) Another aspiration that fits is popularity, he’s just a very friendly person who loves making friends.

Songs that remind me of Ripp:

[asteria7fics]

I have no clue how this works but uhhhhh mayybeeeeee butters (or butters when he’s professor chaos) uhhhhh

👻 A headcanon about what scares them

💝 A headcanon about their love language

💔 An angsty headcanon

👗 A headcanon about their clothes

🔪 A headcanon relating to fighting/violence

🌟 A headcanon about their desires/wishes

🥇 A headcanon about what they’re best at

🎭 A headcanon about what they lie about

🖕 A headcanon relating to anger

😬 A headcanon about the worst thing they’ve done

😭 A headcanon about the worst thing that happened to them.

😶 A random headcanon!

(Yes I had to copy paste it to remember the emojis) I don’t think I read the reblog correctly so idk if I’m allowed to have this many😨😨 you don’t have to do them if u dont want but I would love to learn more abt your butters headcanon for ur fic (specifically for ewily if I remember the acronym correctly)

RAHHHHHH -😨

AAAH BUTTERS!!! MY BOY!!!! (*꒦ິ꒳꒦ີ)♡

I’ll do my best to cover all of these!! I never get to blab about the boy with a heart full of magic!!!

Barely spoilers for the chapter 9 of EWILY under the cut, and a couple of other small details I do include in the fic but aren’t really super plot relevant.

👻 - A silly one to start with, but I think he’s a little bit afraid of the dark. I’m gonna probably say this a lot, but after some of the shit that’s happened to him in the context of canon, he gets really uncomfortable being left completely alone in pitch darkness. Oh! And of course he’s always afraid of doing something wrong and getting grounded!

💝- Words of affirmation. I won’t go into any greater detail, but it will all make sense soon enough ehehehe

💔- I personally think Butters struggles a lot with the fact that he doesn’t quite fit in with the other boys. They’re all pretty abrasive towards him still, and he’s really not cool enough to fit in with most of them. He doesn’t show it, but his insistence on still ‘playing superheroes’ with Kenny is kind of a greater symptom of this insecurity. I imagine he was very excited to be included when Stan got Crimson Dawn back together as they got older, probably late middle school or so.

👗- Wears whatever his mom picks out for him, which is why he’s such an über dork. Lots of lumpy sweaters with dress slacks and straight leg jeans that are all a little too short on his long ass legs, meaning his socks are always showing so they have to coordinate with his outfit, too. And of course, he owns an impressive collection of button up shirts and sweater vests.

🔪- Butters is not a fighter, but he’s certainly had lots of violence enacted on him. Bullied pretty bad as a kid, on top of (tw for child abuse) his father’s liberal use of physical punishments. These are all pretty much canon though, so suffice to say I personally think Butters CAN fight if he needs to, he just generally chooses not to. (This is where the Professor Chaos headcanons come in hehe)

🌟- He wants to be happy, above all else. It doesn’t really matter what it is that will get him there, he just wants to experience the joys of living without worrying about the consequences for once in his silly little life. Aah, now I’ve gone and made myself sad!

🥇- Canonically Butters is good at a ton of stuff! He’s such a highly creative person with a massive imagination, and though The Poop That Took a Pee is a horrible example, I think he’d actually be a really good fiction writer! Hm, maybe that’s something I should explore more.

🎭 - Everything, all the time. Naw, I’m being hyperbolic, though he definitely tells white lies to his parents to avoid getting in trouble. I think he’s also very dishonest when things upset him, at least when people like Stan, Kyle or Cartman hurt his feelings. He knows better than to show weakness around those assholes! (Sometimes RIP)

🖕- I actually think Butters’ anger is under appreciated! He’s an angry little guy when he wants to be, and while I think he’s quick to anger when something finally does irritate him enough, he’s also very quick to cool back down. He doesn’t really hold grudges, though he makes a few exceptions.

😬 - AHAHAAHAH!!! Where do I even begin?? Butters does worse things in canon than pretty much anything I’ll ever have him do, though I would argue that inadvertently inspiring his entire class to wage a war over him wasn’t, uh, great. Oh, and shooting that guy in the dick, I guess.

😭 - Again, where do I begin?? I think the trauma he’s experienced in canon sort of speaks for itself, though I also think that though maybe he didn’t get anything quite as bad in the Asteria-verse, the bullying he withstood affected him more than he would be willing to admit. Poor child, can someone please get him a therapist?

😶 - Butters’ eternal sunshine, happy boy disposition is at least partially a front. While he’s naturally an optimist person, and does generally see the good in everyone around him, but he’s not a complete idiot. He acknowledges, again, that he’s not fully accepted by his peers, but chooses to disregard a lot of the things they do to isolate him. As a little boy it was a more honest representation of who he was, but as he’s gotten older (and more hormonal oof) he’s latched onto it as a means of protection, so to speak. The only person who really, truly sees Butters in his most honest form is Kenny.

This was so much fun!!! Thank you for humoring me and sending this, and I hope you enjoyed learning a lil something about the way I portray Butters in my work!! (ㅅ´ ˘ `)

[deleahtarte]

Hey, I just wanna say I'm a HUGE ass fan of your South Park works. They're literal blessings oh my god thank you for your amazing existence. I really love how you portray the characters and all these little details and headcanons about them that aren't really addressed in the show in canon. They seem so natural and human, you know? If you don't mind me asking two things about your fanfics; I heard you mentioning once how Creek got you into the show, so how come you never really write about them or mention them in your other fics as often? Is it just that you lost interest and moved on? Also, I'm really interested in your Style fanfic "The Days After I Wished for You." I will give you my soul in exchange for the completion of the story, but of course I understand if you lost interest/inspiration in writing it or you're too busy. Sorry if I seem rude, but it would be very much appreciated. Anyways, sorry for the rant and hope you have a great day~♡

First of all, thank you for your kind words!! I’m glad my weird headcanons aren’t something you visibly flinch at because sometimes when I write them I wonder if it’s alright to share 😭😭 So this is a terrific thing for me to hear!!!

Ahh, Creek. What a wonderful question! Creek is like a first love. It’s great but the chances of it lasting are very slim (but you always think it’s going to be forever), and when it doesn’t last you end up always thinking about it and comparing. I haven’t moved on from Creek, I don’t think I ever will. I still like it as much as when I first discovered it. I read most if not all of the Creek fics available the first time I came across them.

But you know how when you like an authors work you click on their profile to see if there’s more? Well that’s when I discovered Style and Bunny. I’ve always loved the main four (five), but when I watched South Park originally I never thought too deep into their relationship until I started reading the fics and it just…clicked. It was like going down the rabbit hole. Creek was already canon but style and bunny wasn’t. So I rewatched every episode for each of their interaction and pretty much got tased with ideas and revelations, and I felt like an idiot for not seeing it sooner. It then came to my attention that Style and Bunny didn’t have as much fics as Creek, so I thought it was my duty as a writer to dish some in. Creek was doing good in of itself, let me go ahead and support Bunny and Style. And now wallah, now we’re here.

In reality, I actually have 2 completed One shots for Creek. And then another 2 chapters of a multi-fic. I want to post them, I have toyed with the idea and told you guys as much. I believe I have their character and dynamic down due to all the fics I read and how many times I’ve watched the show. But I don’t post them for one reason only—and that is because of time. I cater to two parts of the South Park fandom, clear as day, Bunny and Style—and if I add Creek into the mix you guys would probably be waiting like 5 months for just a crumb of your ship. (I’m a VERY picky writer) For example, I just posted something about Bunny so my next posting would be about Style. I have a schedule for things in the effort to keep my two ships happy.

Not only does making you guys wait a while for a chapter not ideal, but I also lose a lot of readers during said waiting period. I’ve seen loyal readers who used to leave me comments on every chapter and fic leave and I know I mostly lost them because we, naturally as humans, change all the time. So our interests changes as well. They like new stuff, South Park is no longer as important, which usually leads to them not wanting to read South Park fics anymore. It makes me sad no longer seeing the names I look forward to in the comments because we aren’t who we were XYZ months ago. But I know that’s what I risk by writing the way I do. I completely understand it, and I accept it.

As for ‘The Days After I Wished for You,’ I haven’t lost interest at all. If I haven’t updated a fic in a while, it’s not that I lost interest—I’ve never once lost interest in any of the fics I started—it’s more of I don’t know how to write the story I want to write. ‘The Days After I Wished for You’ goes into certain deep themes like addiction and depression, and I just don’t want to be ignorant about the topics and portray them like shit. And I’ve heard some people say “it’s just a fanfic it’s not that deep just write a chapter’ but…real life people are going to read this. And I feel like I have certain responsibilities as a writer to at least try to tread certain topics right because there are real people in the world who are going through the same thing and some might even be reading what you write. That’s different if you’re writing crack fics of course, but I’m not so I can’t go about half assing stuff. It’s just not what I want to do. Like when I wrote the style m-preg fic?? It’s literally an omega verse fic but it was still in draft for so long because I wanted to research actual pregnancy and portray it and it’s issues to the best of my abilities. Did I actually do that?? I have no clue! But I tell myself everyday that I tried my best and so far haven’t receive messages from people saying it’s flat out wrong so I’m satisfied with it for the time being. I’m a very picky writer and my writing process usually requires me to rewrite a scene 2-3 times, that’s just the norm. But ‘The Days After I Wished for You,’ is so complicated I have actually re-written a scene 6 times. So that’s just how it is 😅

So yes, ahem, very sorry for the long rant—it was just a wonderful question and one I couldve yapped about for like hours, the finality of it is that I still love Creek, I’m working on ‘The Days After I Wished for You,’ as we speak!! I hope you have a great rest of your day as well and please stay safe and hydrated!! 🤍🤍

[no-thoughts-only-soup]

So… what are the personalities of the cast in this new AU of yours? I’m just curious.

Well, I already explained Mario’s and SMG4’s personality, but there is a bunch I haven’t explored yet.

Starting with Meggy: since Mario isn’t a dumbass in this au and I still want the chaos trio…

Meggy is in part still herself, childish, competitive and prideful, but she also takes some of Bob’s traits. She’s a former Inkopolis gang member, who planned to betray her boss and take over his gang. Unfortunately, she got found out and had to flee. Meggy is the personification of be gay, do crime. Her first solution to every problem is use a gun and if that doesn’t work, use a bigger gun. Initially, all she desired was to start her own gang and get money and bitches, but instead she found Mario and friendship. Still does crime if it benefits her though. Dumbass gremlin.

(Kinda 50/50 on eventually making Four become dumbass gremlin too because then Mario doesn’t have to be)

Peach retains some of her original game personality, since like Mario she’s only partially an avatar. She’s sweet and bubbly, feminine and graceful… and also determined to get or keep what she wants no matter the cost. Peach is mostly pragmatic though, so she won’t go out of her way to hurt you or take revenge for all the time she becomes a butt monkey like V1 Peach, she can be incredibly sadistic whenever she does decide to choose violence. She’s the kind of girl who cheerfully smiles as she prepares to blow up a building, only briefly stopping when she realizes it’s tea time.

Most of the toads are either like game road or V1 toad depending on which one you come across, but the three that were with Peach when they approached the USB and became partially avatar are different. Alone, they’re pretty normal, maybe having slight differences between them. Together, they voltron together into Ultra Dumbass Toad, who takes after V1 Mario most with their idiocy and tendencies for chaos and destruction.

Luigi did not sign up for this shit, and the chaos of the world has finally driven him to say fuck it, I’m gonna do what I want. Uses his gentle and cowardly persona to manipulate others into doing what he wants, though it has a chance of backfiring on him. Often seen drinking alcohol or noping out of crew shenanigans.

And since Meggy is the violent selfish ass now, I think it’ll be hilarious if Bob is instead a very meek guy who preaches pacifism and love, which clashes with the fact he has swords for hands and comes from a family of violent warmongers. Still a pervert.

Boopkins is a short tempered Piranha who is more bark than bite. His teeth don’t even hurt that much, but he’ll never stop chomping on your arm if he’s angy. Which is always.

I haven’t seen Meta Runner yet, but I think it’d be hilarious if Tari was a parody of an edgy anime protagonist with some sort of sad backstory that everyone ignores. Massive weeb. Engineering pro who secretly loves video games and writing fanfiction. Insert blue hair and pronouns joke.

Saiko is stoic, strong and intimidating… which is because she’s too socially awkward to talk. She doesn’t even realize she’s scaring people, she’s just standing there, existing! Goes with the flow. Also a massive pervert.

I haven’t seen enough of Kaizo (missed his episodes) so feel free to suggest.

Axol is very tired and just wants to be left alone in his cave, spending his time sleeping, being on Tumblr and other social media and occasionally making art or edits. Horror fan. Often dragged out by Melony.

Melony at first starts like canon, being just a melon with a running gag that she’s always present during catastrophes, as if she’s started it. When she becomes human, she’s ecstatic, since now she has legs and hands and feet and everything! Seemingly always sugar high, Melony refuses to waste time, trying everything, preferably with friends, whether it’s doing crime, rock climbing or larping.

Honestly, some of them might be subjected to change tho, since tbh I hadn’t really thought of the rest of the crew that much lol. But I really wanted to radically change their personalities to hammer down that this is a different timeline.

Hm? Oh, SMG3? Well, let’s just say he remembers getting tortured by Smart Mario… and that he is very good at holding a grudge…

[commenter2]

"Masquerade" review

Angel deals with things.

You could instantly tell this was going to be a porno since Angel never tried to use the 3rd set of arms he hides to escape.

Charlie I think everyone else wouldn’t mind if you had said that Angel’s work was very inappropriate to show. Where was that same courage you had when dealing with Adam?

Again though I’d be okay if one of these problems Charlie has is about her parents, I’m still hoping it’s not on the same level as those with similar problems in Helluva Boss.

So were finally getting the “abusive relationship” story with Angel and Valentino. Nice to see Charlie instantly noticing it.

Admittedly I got a chuckle at the animation of Charlie banging her legs on the floor.

I brought this up in my Charlie and Vaggie “trailer” Tumblr post (link) but I think throughout the series (definitely later this season) we will learn that Charlie sees her royal status as a bit burdensome (maybe it’s also connected how this is related to how she canonically doesn't like wearing dresses XD) like maybe she always just wanted to be treated like everyone else but for her it was hard given she was nicer than most demons and I bet it was even harder to tell who liked her for who she was or if they were doing so out or obligation or using her for fame. That last part could be another good reason why she broke up with Seviathan von Eldritch. Another reason I bring this up is that we will likely see Charlie struggle with doing this until near the end of the season as seen with that makeshift army she makes of her friends and Rosie's people she recruited via singing which does seem to make Charlie a bit confident.

I think what you’re describing their Charlie is getting close to the definition of intimidation. DO IT!

Travis is back, and is an employee of Val’s. Guess the fandom really liked him.

Great first Adam NOW Val, you have the right to defend yourself Charlie! There better be a lot of fan art of Lucifer kicking Val’s ass posted soon.

Val’s robe are his wings. Does this mean if he was in a cold area, he would have to put a jacket over them to actually keep warm XD.

Uh oh here it comes :(

Is that angelic paper Val has or could all contracts look like that?

Since Charlie is the princess of Hell, you think she or someone else could get Angel out of his contract with Val? 

That song number was cringy to watch and I hope something is done soon so we don’t see another one like it.

Looks like Charlie was beating herself up all night for causing Angel’s miserable night.

Angel’s extra eyes are out. Oh crap Angel is going crazy! Its Fizz at M’s clown contest all over again!

Wait it’s still the same day? I thought Val told him to work all night?

Charlie seems to have learned her lesson about boundaries.

Were finally going to get some true Husk and Angel interaction time.

Nice throw Husk, The Joker would be proud.

I think the writers did a good job at describing/showing how self destructive people are like.

Husk being a former Overlord confirmed. Well technically the theory was that he was a still an Overlord but that was being kept secret, no one accounted him losing his title. Hey I guess Overlords can lose titles.

Looks like the Cat in the Hat’s Nobody found his heart! No wait his heart grew 3 times that moment XD

Did Husk just flirt with Angel :3

Angel says because Val has bad eyes he can’t count, but I’m still going to think that it’s because he is so dumb that he can do math.

Aww Angel is starting to change, even making Charlie proud that she cries. 

That or, and I hate ending this on a bad note, the crying could be related to something deeper like people never expressed such emotion to her before. PLEASE LET ME BE WRONG, at least when it comes to her mom and dad.

I’m mix on this episode.

Yeah I know this was going to happen eventually but it was still a bit sad to watch Angel go through all of that, yet still deny help from Charlie. At least it looks like Angel had a breakthrough and will likely decide to finally start to heal himself as well as aid Charlie in achieving her dream. It was also nice to see Husk not be the cranky old cat we know and love him for, bet those who ship Angel and Husk are happy too.

The biggest flaw of the episode was that the plot was a bit hard to get into since the shows spinoff series Helluva Boss has pretty much done this 3 times already, so we know how this is (probably) going to end and are just waiting for the inevitable scene where Angel stands up and finally becomes free of Val. Still it could have been worse when it came to the similarities (check out my review of Seeing Stars) and a few points for not having Ange’s character storyline end in just 1 episode.

We are already halfway done with the first season, and I can already tell that the last 4 episodes are going to be the most intense episodes yet, especially since the next one will have Lucifer in it. I hope that one won’t be as cringy as this episode given the franchise’s history with parents (specifically dads) but at least the good news is that this is only the first season so if it is, there is a chance the characters will change.

[floatingcatacombs]

Bro Your Taste....

12 Days of Aniblogging 2023, Day 5

Watching the Elitist Anime Superbowl play out earlier this year on Tumblr reawakened something in me. Seeing Evangelion lose to Mononoke like that in round two felt downright heretical. But why? I started but never finished NGE and I haven’t even seen Mononoke, so I shouldn’t have a dog in the fight. And yet, there’s an unspoken yet established hierarchy in my brain that tells me that Eva is better than Mononoke. These polls were a bit of a wake-up call for me that this isn't actually a common framework or approach anymore! So I thought it might be worthwhile to give an account of what anime elitism meant, and means, to me.

tldr (from KC Green's anime club)

Rather than going through all the shows in the bracket, it may be more useful to start by identifying which internet communities skew elitist in the first place. I started watching anime in the early 2010s, so Usenet and early forums and email discussion groups are lost on me. But I did my time on 4chan, for better or for worse. /a/ is perhaps the textbook example of an elitist community, and I would say that they’re responsible for establishing most of the modern weeb canon. The anime blogosphere, though diminished these days, is also a tastemaker, especially when you start seeking out “hidden gems” to make your taste seem cooler and more unique. I originally considered making Floating Catacombs a WordPress blog to try and link up with some of these folks, but ultimately determined that the baked-in audience of Tumblr would better serve my purposes (and they’re owned by the same damn guy now anyways). Lastly, as those previous communities declined, patchwork groups of elitists began to form on Twitter, where many still reside to this day arguing and ass-kissing amongst one another.

Elitism is, in part, an acknowledgement that the vast majority of anime is dogshit. Just look at any given season and count up the isekai shlock, blatant wish fulfillment high school romances, and mediocre shounens ripping off other mediocre shounens. At least 75% of anime is stuff you’d have to pay me to watch. Of course, this isn't unique to anime, being just as true of live-action TV. The difference is that prestige television doesn't have to compare itself to soap operas or reality TV, whereas anime is still commonly treated as a genre in of itself rather than as a medium. As long as that’s the case, anime elitism will always have a place, as a way to say “oh I like anime but not like that” so your taste doesn’t automatically get lumped in with the most low-quality and/or sexually dubious shows of the time.

And obviously, elitism can just as easily be framed as a reaction against the masses. There’s liking Mushishi for the sake of liking Mushishi, and there’s liking Mushishi because its serenity and thoughtfulness reflect well upon you for being able to appreciate it, unlike those dirty Redditors and MyAnimeList denizens who need fanservice in everything they watch. Unfortunately, this means elitists have a tendency to elevate some truly pretentious stuff that looks cool but just isn’t very compelling or deep under the surface. Ergo Proxy is my personal go-to example of this– how it beat out Stand Alone Complex in that Tumblr poll is a mystery to me. I’d argue that Lain is also overrated in this way, but I don’t want to hurt all the sad neurodivergent extremely online women who probably make up my entire audience.  

One thing I've noticed is that elitist communities don’t make a ton of art or fanfic or other creative works. For them, the primary way to participate in fandom is to argue over whether or not a show was good, or if a given part of a show was good (waifu wars, etc). This makes the output of these sites fairly ephemeral (in particular, imageboards automatically delete threads to make room for new ones), but it also means that people will constantly repeat themselves and get in the same arguments to make themselves persistently heard. We’re still arguing about Evangelion 25 years later, after all! After using shows as a cudgel against other shows for a long enough time, you can start to form a hierarchy of notable anime in ways that you can’t really with Tumblr or Reddit or any other community that largely hops from show to show as they come out.

The canon for anime elitism is mostly contained to the late 90s and 2000s, and I think there’s a few reasons for that. As I brought up in the Patlabor post, the 80s are something of a dark age for broadcast anime, while the 90s contain some of the last beautiful breaths of cel animation. The 2000s were when 4chan had an outsized presence online, so it makes sense that a lot of shows deemed elitist come from the era where their taste was king. By the mid-2010’s, after GamerGate, moot’s departure, and the blatant fascism on every board, 4chan’s cultural clout had effectively zeroed out.

There’s also the blunt argument that simply fewer cool artsy anime get made these days. Ping Pong is one of the last truly “elitist” shows I can point to, and that was nearly a decade ago. Due to the overlapping issues of anime overproduction, poor working conditions, and production committees seeking ever-safer investments, a lot of the stuff that comes out these days has a very workmanlike quality to it, competent but never targeting excellence.

OHHH YEAHHHHH

But my final reason for the decline of elitism is a wholly good one – more people are appreciating the good stuff these days! Watching anime has somehow become a normal hobby for the teens that grew up after me, no longer something that needs to be hidden and consigned to small school anime clubs. While battle shounen still reigns supreme, it’s probably leagues better than the comparable stuff from 10 or 20 years ago (though still pretty damn misogynist most of the time). More importantly, new fans and old-guard elitists actually agree on the good stuff! Works like Mob Psycho 100 and Trigun Stampede were huge hits and bridged the gap between these groups through their quality and style, and in Trigun’s case by re-adapting a classic. The breakthrough success of Bocchi the Rock demonstrates that people can vibe with more experimental animation now, and it doesn’t have to be relegated to its own sphere outside of the anime mainstream. And Oshi no Ko has a difficult “dude trust me” pitch but successfully synthesized the pretentious and the mass-market in terms of both its audience and its themes. (I would guess. I haven’t actually seen Oshi no Ko either. An important, unspoken part of anime elitism is lying about half the stuff you’ve seen and just going with the flow on how people around you felt about it). Combining an old-school 90’s-2000s feel with insane pacing and fights, Chainsaw Man similarly captured a wide audience. Even if people have qualms with the overall quality of the adaptation, that one episode shot like a movie won me over. It’s good that some of the most popular anime can be artsy as well, and if that’s what ultimately does elitism in, it will be a happy ending. May poptimism save us all.

In the meantime, elitism lives on in the manga world, where smug assholes can talk about how they liked a series before it got adapted. Manga is very popular these days, but that's mainly driven by people diving into the source material for anime that they enjoyed. This leaves fundamentally unadaptable manga as the last bastion of elitism, which makes sense when you consider how people talk about Berserk.

I’ll leave you with some rapid-fire hot takes of mine.

Steel Ball Run is not that good and its ranking on MyAnimeList as the second best manga of all time is nonsense. It will receive more proper crit in a few years once the inevitable David Production adaptation shines a light on its more troublesome bits.

After rewatching it this year, I can say with clarity that Everyone Is Sleeping On Concrete Revolutio

Goodnight Punpun kind of sucks! Might just be me.

As far as beloved 90’s psychological anime goes, 4chan and Reddit historically love Eva, while Tumblr overwhelmingly went for Utena in that poll. This whole thing smacks of gender.

The Gundam fandom historically has something of a reputation for misogyny, so it’s really funny and good that my exposure has instead been almost entirely trans women on tumblr. We will inherit the mecha genre.

Actually, screw manga, there is only one vector for anime elitism now, and it’s Thunderbolt Fantasy. You gotta get in on Gen Urobuchi’s Wild Puppet Show.

[sapphosclown]

Okay, how about Wednesday for 001, Trobed for 002, and TJ Kippen for 003?

literally great choices thank you

001: Wednesday

favorite character: wednesday addams herself. she is so 🫶

least favorite character: the sherif or weems i think

5 favorite ships: wenclair, the background lesbians i don’t know the name of, that’s it don’t care ab the other ones 💀

character i find the most attractive: jenna ortega loml

character i would marry: in my heart i wanna say wednesday but also i think enid is very sweet and would make a lovely wife

character i would be best friends with: i feel like me and enid could get along very well. also i kinda rock w bianca

a random thought: i wish tyler and xavier had more personality they didn’t give what i wanted to be given

an unpopular opinion: the plot was predictable and the love triangle was lame, wednesday did not show any interest in either of those boys (not unpopular with the gays but some of these people on tiktok geez)

my canon otp: literally no one

my mom-canon otp: wenclair

most badass character: the show is literally named after her

most epic villain: the hyde but specifically when he’s transforming and his eyes are just comically big and he looks stupid

pairing i am not a fan of: xavier x wednesday and tyler x wednesday

character i feel the writers screwed up: all of them

favorite friendship: wednesday and eugene

character i most identify with: wednesday i guess not really tho

character i wish i could be: also wednesday

002: Trobed

when i started shipping them: early 2921 when i started community

my thoughts: they were so queercoded and from a story telling perspective a lot the plot lines can really only make sense if they were romantically inclined but dan harmon was a coward and they liked benefiting from trobed shippers without wanting to make them canon. but they are in my heart.

what makes me happy about them: they are so utterly in love but like they care so deeply for each other. they made each other feel safe and seen in a way they never expected or thought possible

what makes me sad about them: the mutual pining with no closure and how they both found their person and specifically with abed, troy chose to leave him. and abed was hurt but more importantly mad at himself for being hurt because he should’ve seen it coming because that’s what people do, come into his life and make him care about them and then leave.

things done in fanfics that annoy me: i haven’t really seen anything, i guess i’m mostly bothered when the voices of the characters are wrong or when they’re written out of character?

things i look for in fanfics: angst 🫶 but also shenanigans and closure

my wishlist: idek i just want them to be canon community movie don’t let me down 😭

who i’d be comfortable with them ending up with if not each other: i really can’t picture them with anyone else except maybe troy and britta and that would make me upset so

my happily ever after for them: abed is a successful director and troy is a billionaire but he finds odd jobs both for plumbing and ax repairs just cause it’s fun and easy and he doesn’t charge much bc he doesn’t need the money. they live this nice ass house bc they’re nerds and would love something big and dumb and fancy (but at the end of the day all that letters is they’re together). troy is a dog person and abed is a cat person and they fight ab which one they should get until they both come home with their desired pets and simply accept this life. i don’t know if i see them having kids but i’m not specifically against it

003: TJ Kippen

how i feel about this character: love and joy

any/all people i ship romantically with this character: cyrus goodman

my favorite non-romantic relationship: buffy for sure

my unpopular opinion about this character: his redemption arc could’ve used a little more arc, i feel like there was a jump somewhere that i would’ve liked to see happen

one thing i wish had happened in canon with this character: i wish we got to see more dynamics with other characters. i would’ve loved to see him with jonah more or andi or i think bex/bowie even cece could’ve been so so interesting. also i think the kippen siblings is so fun and i would’ve love to see that. also the dumbass trio. i crave that chaos.

favorite friendship for this character: canon, cyrus. non canon, the dumbass trio.

my crossover ship: none

[hpmort]

My review of House of SecretS

By Chris Columbus and Ned Vizzini

I didn’t like it.

I also feel like it wasn’t fully edited? The character of Eleanor is initially written as a Generic Small Child, of the sort that people who don’t know what small children are like write, which often bothered me when I was in lower elementary, as it was forbidden to read books “below your reading level” and I was reading at a Middle Reader/Young Adult level (it wasn’t rendered as such, there was some kind of numerical scale involved) when I was a small child. Also I don’t have dyslexia, my only references to the internal experience are Arthur and Percy Jackson, but I do know that it isn’t dyscalculia, and the part that was meant to establish her as dyslexic (explicitly confirmed later in the book) had her messing up with numbers, not letters.

(I am not clinically dyscalculic, but I can’t read numbers well enough to perform long division. I used to do decent mental math, but then the school system beat it out of me. Also I have spacial dysgraphia bad enough that my third grade teacher gave up and had me do my work on a sad little electric typewriter thing, but dysgraphia hasn’t been considered dyslexia since sometime in the 1900s and this book was published in 2013, so this is a largely unrelated tangent)

Actually, the primary cast in general starts out as flat stereotypes of children that might show up as minor characters in something with an adult target audience, and the way they are written later on isn’t so much as character development, or them revealing inner depth, but rather the authors spontaneously discovering that children are people and writing them as such, or perhaps simply learning how to write characters in general.

Once they reach that point, the children realize as actual characters, and Eleanor is actually depicted quite well, a realistic little girl- she knows when she’s being condescended to, she’s reasonably clever, and when told that there is a big tarantula, she reacts like all the little girls I have ever known react- she wants to see it.

Also, it would probably anger antis about the problematic™️ness of the canon ship (15yo Cordelia and 17yo Will) and also giving me not one, but two problematic ships, a Yuri and a het one, both of which are very rare for me?

I feel like Dahlia was done dirty by the writers, and liked her chemistry with Cordelia. The ending was kind of an ass-pull, and the only book that Denver Kristoff had written that seems like it would actually work as a book is The Fighting Ace; probably we just lacked the context for The Heart and the Helm, but the timeline doesn’t exactly add up for Savage Warriors; the way the book is discussed is such that Celine isn’t the central character, and if she is intended to be the protagonist, she is remarkably flat. I don’t think that people went out of their way to write fantasy heroines for the sake of doing so, if they didn’t already have some ideas for their characterization, or at least story reasons, at the time. And she reads like a flat love interest besides.

There are apparently sequels, which will probably explain the unexplained Lovecraft-adjacent stuff, but I don’t expect to seek them out. I have many more books to read, and most of them are significantly more promising and were purchased for reasons other than “hey, this is only a dollar”

Also I managed to read it in not quite one sitting, but in four hours nonetheless; I had taken a few breaks, for eating and getting water, as well as pacing and just being anxious.

[elkdiaries]

hey everyone, this is sort of negative compared to my other posts, i just wanted to talk about something that’s been on my mind. this is regarding the mainstream audience, heteronormativity and the like so if you’d rather not read my annoyed rambling then scroll on <3

i’m rewatching stranger things season two because i haven’t seen it in the longest time and is it actually real? because like there’s just so much will content? like he actually has a prominent role in the season, as he should? and dustin/lucas get to talk to each other because they’re best friends? and they all ride their bikes around just because they can? and el/mike have a sweet, non-toxic relationship? and max has bigger role in the show, and is able to discuss the hardships young women of the ‘80s had to endure? and mike’s familial issues are displayed clearly? and he and will interact very kindly because they’re best friends who are crushing big-time on each other and regardless of whether they’re endgame (which they are but still) they care an incredible amount about each other?

i understand that the events which occurred over the course of season three were necessary for everyone’s development, and i’m glad they did happen because now some lovely things in season four can follow. but i really can’t help wishing they could still just do this sweet, fluffy stuff sometimes. because the party loves each other so much, and season three really didn’t do their friendships justice. and again, though it was an important arc to add in on their way into teen life, it sort of encouraged the normalization of toxicity in friendships to the audience, as well as the whole “boys versus girls” bullshit. because god knows mainstream viewers and reviewers just love to see mean relationships in their media, for it’s not “boring”. what the party has is very raw and beautiful and the pains of growing older just divided them for a bit. but people have interpreted it so awfully that they’re doing crazy shit like making will the antagonist, all because he just wants to be a kid and not deal with all the drama.

i think the duffers did a good job with season three, don’t get me wrong. it was sad to see the kids having to go separate ways, but it happened because now in season four they can bring them back together and show just how difficult growing up is, and why it’s important to keep core friendships alive even when they may not be considered “cool” to other peers. however, the majority of watchers are so used to just brushing important and emotional events (for example, the neglect of dustin and the byler fight, both in season three) under a rug unless it comes to tension between hetero couples. i know for a fact that the duffers will make byler canon, but the backlash (which is bound to happen either way) from people who just look at the surface level of content is going to be a pain in the ass to have to witness. it’s going to suck seeing people in an intense uproar about mike and el going from lovers to friends, and claiming that the creators of this show just did things like make byler endgame for the sake of lgbtq+ rep— though it’s been implied from the beginning that they’re in love.

i’m not trying to say that people have to watch this show and analyze every tiny detail, because they don’t. you can watch stranger things and enjoy it at the surface level of content. you don’t have to ship byler, and you can even enjoy lucas and mike’s antics in season three while trying to win back el and max. i don’t care, we all like different things. it becomes an issue when for example, season four comes out, things are clearly different, and people try to say it was out of the blue. because no, no it most certainly wasn’t. and that would be very obvious if they just looked at it from a different angle.

to sum it up: as a queer person myself, i hate that we have to work this hard to get good lgbtq+ rep in media (or to prove that there will be lgbtq+ rep in seasons to come). on top of that, i hate how toxic friendships and relationships have been so normalized on screen. it’s to the extent that if a mainstream show differs even the slightest bit from the norm, it’s a fucking scandal.

glad i got that out of my system. anyways, byler is endgame and adore lucas sinclair until the end of time.

[harryspet]

caged bird | s.rogers, p.parker & b.barnes

[Warnings] dark!steve rogers x reader, dark!peter parker x reader, dark!bucky barnes x reader, polyamory, prison au, noncon/dubcon sex, this plot scenario is very unrealistic but oh well,  reader makes a deal so she can survive, hella manipulation, dominants/submissive, oral sex (male recieving), hella angst, shower sex, READ AT YOUR OWN RISK

A/N: this is like a really f’d up situation so enjoy :):):) i also wrote this over the span of two weeks so i’m sorry if the pacing is weird and (also x2) this is nowhere near canon

In which you have to make a deal with three devils in order to survive in The Cage.

word count: 4.8k

main masterlist

Your eyelids were heavy though the bright light outside the bus was forcing you awake. Your limbs shackled to the seat, it reminded you that you had lost your freedom so quickly and that you’d probably never have a good night of sleep ever again, “How long?” Your mouth was dry, the heat from the wasteland you were driving through crept through the window. 

“Twenty minutes, princess,” Officer Rumlow looked you over for the millionth time like you were fresh meat ready for the slaughter. His perceptions weren’t far off and that’s what scared you the most. You weren’t cut out for a place like the Cage. 

A week ago you thought this place was fictional, a nightmare tale that was used to scare the new employees. It was still a nightmare but you were now living in it. You thought your heart might explode out of your chest as the facility finally came into view. Five stories of complete concrete surrounded by two, hundred-foot fences and surrounded by a barren wasteland. 

You were the only one on the bus. The Cage rarely received new inmates due to the nature of crimes that the prison was built for. Vigilantes and government traitors. Many used to consider them heroes but they were unregulated and dangerous. That's how they ended up here and, your boss, Alexander Pierce had sold you out to save himself.

“When … W-When am I going to get my phone call?” You asked as the bus entered the gates of the prison, finally stopping at the processing center. 

Rumlow chuckled, walking over to unchain your shackles from the floor of the bus, “Who are you going to call, princess? Mommy and Daddy?” He grabbed you roughly by your upper arm, pulling you out of your seat and dragging you down the steps of the bus. 

You refused to accept that you had been erased. Your parents probably thought you were only missing, not that you had been wrongly accused of betraying the government and had been thrown into the most dangerous prison in the country. 

“They can’t do this,” You winced as your arm stung, “No trial. No jury. T-This is illegal!”

Rumlow ignored you, and you had to pick up your pace in order to not fall down. Your eyes wandered around, the sun nearly blinding you and stinging your skin at the same time. You noticed in the distance a group of male inmates standing behind a wired fence, wearing the same navy jumpsuit as you, and even from far away, you could see cold and hungry glances. 

You thought you were lucky for a minute since you were a woman but then you remembered what kind of women probably lived here. As you were brought inside, past several guards, through metal detectors and pat-downs. 

When you got to the body cavity search, you expected to part way with Rumlow. Standing in a small, cold room, Rumlow stood in the doorway with his hands casually in the pockets of his pants, “Undress, inmate,” Your eyes widened and you quickly crossed your arms, “Slowly, if you don’t mind.”

“I-I do mind,” You said quickly, “I’m supposed to have a female officer-”

“You don’t get those kinds of privileges in the Cage. We don’t separate inmates by gender,” You shook your head as your eyebrows began to furrow. 

“That’s insane-”

“Undress, inmate,” He said more sternly this time, “Or would you like me to do it for you? You’re lucky I don’t make you put on a show for the rest of the guards.”

You shook your head again, tears starting to form in your tired eyes, “Please don’t-” You tried to plead with him but, as you did, you watched him reach for his baton, “Okay, okay!”

Rumlow smiled a wicked smile, “Good. Bend over and cough, inmate. Let me see that cute, little ass of yours.”

+

When you finally got to see a female officer, she was escorting you to your cell. In your hands, you held the rest of your life which included one more set of clothes, bedding, and a toothbrush. You had to eat what the prison provided and you could only earn extra commissary from working. Hela tried to explain everything to you but you were only latching onto every other world. 

You walked along a slim passageway which had cells to the right and a metal railing to the left. There were three floors of cells and they seemed to go all the way around in a circle. Passed the railing and in the middle of the dome was where it seemed most of the inmates were gathered. 

The shouting, laughing, and fighting echoed through the dome and you couldn’t help but think those calls were for you. You could barely carry your bag of things and walk straight without stumbling. If they couldn’t send your weakness from your appearance then they’d surely sniff it out soon. 

“This can’t be allowed,” You whispered to Officer Hela, though her dark hair mixed with the look of death in her eyes didn’t scream “empathy” to you, “There has to be some sort of rule-”

She stopped in front of an empty, six by eight-foot cell which told you that this would be your new home, “You can sit in solitary if you like,” She spoke coldly, “Your meals get brought to you and you don’t have to deal with the animals in here but there’s no time outside. It’s easy to lose track of the days and forget which voices are real and which ones are inside your head. If you prefer to go insane before you die then I’d recommend that route.”

There wasn’t much of a choice to make and you found your feet moving before your brain could register. You stepped inside the cell, setting down your things on the bottom bunk, “A girl like you is going to need to latch onto a group, pledge your allegiance, and do not let them question your loyalty. They live by a different code here and following it is life or death, do you understand?”

You slowly nodded as you listened and part of you was grateful that she wasn’t completely cold, “T-Thank you-”

She scoffed, “Such a precious little thing … I give you a week,” With that, she turned on her heel and you felt hopeless once again, “I’ll escort you to dinner-”

You shook your head, “I’m not hungry.” You were actually starving but you could not yet face the beast. 

She only shrugged and pulled the door closed. The light above you flickered and you stared back down at your bunk. You were holding back your tears as you tried to make up your bed. Staring at the flimsy mattress material only made you more depressed so you decided just to lay down. Facing the wall, your tired eyes roamed over what was scribbled on the walls. 

S.H.I.E.L.D. is evil. 

S.H.I.E.L.D. is corrupt. 

You hated that the words initially sent a wave of anger through you. You hated that you still felt loyal to that group of monsters. You were a low level worker with good standing and they had just sent you to die?

With your face tucked into your arm, you cried yourself to sleep. 

+

The next day you had no choice but to face your fears. You couldn’t go any longer without food and, in a place like this, you needed to keep your energy up. Before the sun was even out, you heard the mechanical click of the cell door. Your favorite officer, Rumlow, made sure to stop by your cell during roll call. 

“So you decided on general population,” He popped the gum he was chewing, looking you over, “I’m sad to hear it, I was gonna visit you every day in solitary but I guess we’ll get some alone time soon enough.”

You scowled at him and a shiver went through you as he continued pass your cell. You were now grateful that you had chosen general population. 

That feeling didn’t last as inmates started moving from their cells down to breakfast. You stayed back, waiting to slip out of your cell when the crowd had passed. You lingered in the back of the line but no one seemed to notice you until you were in the kitchen line. The first reaction was a quiet murmur that went through the group of (mostly) men at the sight of you. 

You didn’t quite match anyone's stature, not even the women. At least they looked like they could take care of themselves. You were sure that your face probably had dark circles and sunken in features. You looked down when you felt someone's eyes on you and you cringed at every word whispered about you. 

“If I could just get my hands on her …”

“I wonder what a little girl like that could’ve done to get in here.”

“I’d be real gentle with her …” “I wouldn’t … I’d make her scream …”

“Move along,” Hela barked at the inmates in the line. You tried to tune them out as a staff member handed you your tray of food. A stale piece of toast, plastic-looking eggs, peaches, and what looked like could be oatmeal. 

It was when you turned away that you felt a pinch on your bottom. You turned around quickly only to find yourself staring at a chest rather than a face. As you looked up, a man with long, dark black hair stared down at you, “Aren’t you adorable?”

“I said move along, inmates,” You looked towards Hela for some sort of help but didn’t receive any. 

When you looked back again, the man had disappeared. You shook it off, figuring that was the least of what you were about to experience today. As you stepped out into the middle of the dome, you remembered the advice that Hela had managed to give you. 

There were cliques formed at each circular, metal table and you looked each one over as you walked past them. Again, people stared and said vile things but you spotted a table where two women were sitting. They were much older than you but the look you got from them was not maternal in the least. 

“Can I… sit here?” You knew the answer based on their thin-lipped scowls. 

You weren’t like any of them … you were fragile. Besides that, you used to work for S.H.I.E.L.D. and the organization was responsible for locking half of these people away. You kept walking, eventually finding an empty table to sit at. 

All you could think about now was eating. You picked at your tray with your plastic fork, and with each bite of the food you cringed. The toast was also completely rock hard, “It helps if you dip it in water,” Your head snapped up as you felt a shadow over you before someone took a seat beside you. 

You weren’t expecting someone so young and you certainly weren’t expecting a friendly smile. You stared at the handsome man with your mouth agape. You hadn’t realized what he meant until you looked back down at the bread in your hands, “Oh … I doubt anything would make this edible-”

He ran his hand through his light brown hair, before reaching into the pocket of his jumpsuit. On the table in front of you, he placed a twinkie. The entire room seemed to go quiet for a moment and you realized that everyone was watching the two of you. 

“I can’t accept this …”

“Of course you can, it’s no big deal,” His brown eyes pierced into yours as he shrugged, “I’m Peter.”

The sugary, process food was calling your name but you still weren’t sure what his deal was, “T-Thank you,” Not wanting to come off rude, you accepted it, unknowingly beginning to seal your fate, “I’m … I’m-”

“Y/N Y/LN,” He finished for you which left your eyes wide with shock, “You’re already famous. The guards like to gossip and it’s rare we get new inmates so people get curious.”

“Oh,” You shifted uncomfortably in your seat. 

“Don’t worry, some people in here care about your charges, how you got here, but not me,” He tried to reassure you, a smile tugging at his lips, “S.H.I.E.L.D. screwed us all and I don’t think there’s a point in playing who’s the better bad guy.”

You looked around. Now that you knew that people knew your charges and your history, you were starting to feel unsettled. The only thing keeping you grounded was him reassuring you that he didn’t care, “How long-” Your voice came out in a whisper, “How long have you been here?”

Peter took a breath as he thought for a moment, “Few years. Now I kinda forget that I was a normal teenager when this all started.”

Years. And he was a teenager when they brought him here? Did they have no limits to their cruelty?

“God,” You breathed out, overwhelmed, “I don’t think I can … do this-”

Peter reached out, placing a calm hand on your arm, “Hey, hey, you have to survive here. Whether you were meant to be here or not, you have to live like this is your reality. Looking like you’re about to vomit is not a good look to everyone else. I saw Loki over there … he’s an asshole touching you like that  but it’s because he’s already sniffed you out.”

You nodded, trying to stay calm, “But I don’t know how to look … to look less weak.”

“For one, you’re going to have to start eating more and building some muscle,” You could tell by his grip on your arm that he was quite strong, “And the next time someone disrespects you, you have to stand up for yourself. You also can’t just bark like a little chihuahua. Maybe you could pick someone out, someone that you could win in a fight against.”

As Peter started to scan the room, you immediately started shaking your hand, “I can’t just attack someone,” You whisper-shouted, your eyes wide with worry. 

Peter chuckled, “Not with that attitude. Maybe you could go for Heather over there,” He eyed a woman who was practically elderly, “She has a cane so even you could probably overpower though I’ve seen here use the thing as a weapon a few times-”

“Peter,” You spoke sharply, “There has to be another way.”

Peter looked into your eyes and you lost hope for a moment until he seemed to perk up, “I have some friends, we kind of run together in this place, looking out for each other,” Peter explained and you listened intently, hoping for a means of survival that didn’t require attacking an old lady, “I could probably convince them to start looking out for you too. But it won’t be easy, we take loyalty very seriously here, and it wouldn’t be without a cost to you.”

“What sort of cost?”

Peter shrugged, “Could be lots of things. They serve plums on Friday and Bucky loves those so maybe you’d show your support to the group by giving him yours. Something like that,” You followed Peter’s finger as he pointed two men out, one with dark hair and the other with light. Both were built like bodybuilders, “Steve’s a respected leader here and maybe you could help run messages for him.” 

You nodded, “T-That sounds fair,” You paused for a moment as the men eyed you, “And for the twinkie? What do you want?”

“Now you’re starting to get it,” Peter grinned, “Eat it and that means you accept our claim. You’re one of us.”

“Can’t I have time to think about it?” 

Peter seemed to hesitate for the first time, “I’m sure you won’t get a better offer,” Your face fell, “But sure. I’d be quick about it though. Those big, doe eyes aren’t going to work on everybody.”

+

The dark-haired one was following you. Loki, Peter called him, hadn’t taken his eyes off you ever since you parted ways with Peter yesterday. He and his greek god, blonde friend were now walking behind you as you made your way through the halls. They were pushing mop buckets, evidently taking a break from their cleaning duty. 

You had gotten lost trying to find the hospital wing and now you were paying the consequences. 

“Little bird … caged and unprotected,” He taunted you and your heartbeat quickened as you tried to keep from looking back,  “Not even the guards want to save her. Poor thing.”

“It seems she’s in need of protecting, brother.”

“Protecting? If I got my hands on her, the last thing I’d think of is being gentle-”

You turned into the first room you passed, expecting to find somewhere to hide but you only seemed to encounter more people. It was the TV room, a staticy old television airing a baseball game was hanging in the corner of the room, and a bunch of men were sitting at different tables. 

They all turned their heads to you as you interrupted and you immediately recognized the two men from Peter’s loyal “group”. Bucky and Steve. Your heart was out of your chest at the point and you found yourself whispering a “sorry” before turning back towards the door. Loki and his brother, however, were waiting patiently. 

Loki leaned in the doorway, eyeing you like you were fresh meat. 

“Is this jackass bothering you, hon?” Your eyes wide with fear, you quickly realized that it wasn’t Loki taunting you. The dark-haired man’s, you remembered Peter calling him Bucky, voice boomed through the room.

You froze.

“Don’t you have toilets to scrub, Laufeyson?” The light hair man with a thick beard spoke, and by the look on his face you could tell he was a man of power. Not so much power-hungry but someone that demanded respect and often received it. 

Loki scoffed, looking over you again, “As far as I know, this one is free territory.”

“Well, this room is my territory and guess where she happens to be standing,” Loki’s jaw clenched at Steve’s words. 

“C’mere, hon,” Bucky spoke to you, signaling to cross the room. She hesitated but only for a moment as you realized your choices were Peter’s friends or letting Loki, have you. You crossed the room cautiously towards them, everyone now looking at you. You paused awkwardly in front of the table but a small yelp left your lip as Bucky grabbed you by the arm, spinning you into his lap. 

“See,” Steve said as you uncomfortably tried your best not to squirm, “Don’t touch things that aren’t yours, Laufeyson.”

You felt a hand clench your thigh and cringed.

“Aye, aye, Captain.”

As soon as Loki stormed away, you stood up, brushing whatever wrinkles had formed in your jumpsuit. Amused, Bucky smiled at you, “You could at least thank us,” Bucky leaned forward and you tried not to scowl. 

“Thank you,” You whispered. 

“Good girl,” Bucky smirked. 

“Lang, get Y/N a chair,” Steve ordered another man in the room. He was quick to obey the command and, even though you were in a new place, you felt you’d been transported into an entirely new planet. 

“You don’t have to-”

“Sit,” Steve said as the chair was placed beside you, “You can leave when you give us an answer to the offer Peter mentioned yesterday.”

You had thought long and hard about Peter’s offer and decided last night that you wanted to reject it. It wasn’t until now that you realized your decision was a mistake. There was no telling when you’d be getting out of this place, Peter had been here for years, and it seemed you were already a target. 

You’d even heard a rumor that the guards placed bets on how long you’d survive in here. 

“Yes …” You nodded your head, “That’s my answer.”

Steve's lips pulled into a small grin as he eyed his friend across the table, “Good choice, doll.”

+

A week later and you were still alive and relatively untouched. Bucky was quite handsy but Peter reminded you that it was just protocol. Everyone had to know that you were a part of their group and that, if you were harmed, they’d have to deal with Steve and his minions. 

Like Peter said, there were quite a few sacrifices you had to make. Your new job in the kitchen allowed you to provide the group with all the food they wanted and when you weren’t working, you were running errands for Steve. You got an idea of all the inmate leaders and how they functioned as a society. 

Steve seemed to be at the very top and you realized the possible consequences of crossing someone like him. Still, you felt more pampered than like you were a part of some elaborate prison gang. Most of your wishes were theirs to grant. 

They let you watch whatever you wanted in the TV room. Bucky always called you pet names that you were starting to grow fond of. Steve had some pull with the guards so Rumlow was never around to bother you anymore. Peter even found you a set of paints to occupy your time in your cell. As long as you followed them around like their cute little puppy, they were quite nice to you. 

“C’mon, run a lap with me. You gotta build your strength,” Peter asked you, his face sweaty and shining under the baking sun. He was shirtless, the shirtsleeves of his uniform wrapped around his waist, and his magnificent physique was on display just like Steve and Bucky’s. During rec time in the courtyard, you’d become accustomed to standing by the fence and watching them lift weights. 

“I’m good, thanks,” You smiled awkwardly, “I get tired just from watching you guys.”

“Peter’s right,” Steve let out a breath as he dropped his hundred-pound dumbbell.

“I just …” Your voice trailed off as Steve eyed you with his strong gaze. You knew that what he said goes but you were growing nervous, “I don’t want to get sweaty.”

“You’re serious?” Bucky chimed in, a curious look on his face. 

“Is that like a girl thing I don’t know about?” Peter flashed you an amused look and your cheeks began to heat with embarrassment. 

“Y/N?” Steve could see that you were hiding something.

You crossed your arms, sighing, “I just don’t want to have to shower, okay?”

“You haven’t showered since you’ve been here?” Peter asked incredulously. 

“I have!” You quickly defended yourself, “I mean, I’ve just been using the sink in my cell.”

“I see what this is about,” Bucky had a knowing look on his face, “Dollface is scared of the communal showers.”

Peter’s mouth formed the shape of an “o” as he realized what was going on. You still felt so embarrassed. It was yet another thing that made you seem totally defenseless. 

“Is that true?” Steve asked and you were beginning to feel overwhelmed by their concerned gazes, “Why didn’t you tell us? Next time, one of us will keep watch for you. No one’s gonna bother you.”

Maybe it was the isolation or the fact that your life would never be the same again. Maybe it was the fact that you’d never see your family again or that you cried yourself to sleep every night. That might be the reason you felt that they genuinely cared for you and why you wanted to fully embrace the comfort that they were providing. 

Maybe that was why you wanted to belong to them. 

+

For the first time, you were reminded of your old life. You weren’t sure how long you’d lost yourself under the water, letting time get away from you, as the warm water cascaded along your skin. The showers had a sorry excuse for water pressure and, despite the creepiness of the beige tiles and flickering light above, when you closed your eyes you were in paradise. 

“All clean, beautiful?” Bucky’s voice brought you out of your trance. Suddenly you were back in the square room with showerheads lining each wall. You wiped the water from your eyes before turning off the water. 

“Y-Yes, I’m almost done!” You shouted back, grabbing your towel from off the hook. You pressed it to your face, drying your skin. You were quite grateful that they’d taken the extra steps to make you feel protected, “Bucky-”

As you turned around, that feeling of gratitude quickly turned to something resembling fear. He was supposed to wait for you outside the bathroom and yet, there he was, only three feet away from you. 

“What are you-”

He looked over you hungrily and you pressed your towel closer to your body, “You have no idea how long it's been since I’ve been with a beautiful woman like you … Steve too. And Peter, he’s just learning the ropes.”

You took a step back, towards the wall, and as you did you caught a glimpse behind Bucky’s towering figure. Both Steve and Peter were here, stalking closer. 

“You said you’d protect me…” Your voice cracked, your hands beginning to shake. 

“We will,” Steve spoke, determined, “No one else but us will touch you.”

“Nothing in here is without a cost, Y/N,” Peter seemed a bit solemn like his current life was not what he wanted it to be but he was just as hungry, if not more, as Bucky. 

Bucky grabbed you then, his eyes impatient, and you wrestled for your towel for only a moment before he easily snatched it away from you. A helpless squeal left your mouth as he grabbed you by the arm with one hand and placed his other hand between your legs. He grabbed your thigh tightly and as his hand moved further up, you found yourself paralyzed. 

“Good girl. You’re going to take all of us,” Bucky spoke quietly, shushing you, his grip growing tighter and tighter. Before you knew it, all three of them were surrounding you, their curious hands wandering over your wet skin. Grabbing your breast, your thighs, turning your face to bite at your neck. 

“Get on your knees,” Steve grunted against your ear, growing impatient like his friend. 

When you didn’t move, Peter was the one to push you down onto the cold floor. You hiccuped, trying not to hyperventilate as they overwhelmed you from each side. As they all started to pull down their clothes, you made one final attempt at trying to crawl away. 

Steve grabbed you by your throat, making your efforts futile, pushing your face towards his crotch. You felt it, hard and throbbing against your cheek, “Open up, don’t make this hard, doll,” Through the corner of your eye, you saw Bucky stroking his own length, waiting patiently for his turn. 

Steve grabbed you by your hair next, pressing your closed lips against his tip. He forced himself in your mouth, “There you go,” Steve grunted, pushing himself deeper, “Move that tongue around.”

Steve Rogers could make your life a living hell in the Cage. Was this really the price you had to pay in order to survive here? You couldn’t imagine it being any worse than this but Steve could make that possible. That’s why you started to swirl your tongue like he said, deciding that their orgasms would end your pain. 

Bucky was much rougher than Steve, pinching your nose closed and enjoying watching your eyes widen and water. He practically touched the back of your throat and still commanded you to stroke Peter and Steve’s cocks with your hands while you took him in your mouth. Somehow, you managed. 

Peter was much more gentle and you were grateful for that. His hands rested softly on the back of your head, guiding your mouth slowly up and down his length, “God, this is awesome,” He cursed, his head tilting back as he enjoyed the stimulation. When he finally finished, his warmth filled your mouth and before you could spit or catch your breath, Bucky grabbed you again. 

He came so far down your throat that you were forced to swallow it but, unlike him, Steve took his time, “This little mouth. Is ours. Every single hole. Is ours. No one else, do you understand?” With each sentence, he thrust hard until he filled your mouth. You leaned over, coughing as you felt the stinging of your sore throat. 

You were about to collapse onto the dirty cold floor when gentle arms lifted you up into a broad chest. You found yourself not fighting, only pressing your face into Bucky’s chest as you began to sob. 

Steve didn’t have to say anything more. You understand your new position and there wasn’t anyone else there to save you from that fate. 

That night you learned there was a change to your cell assignment. You’d sleep in Steve’s arms, a little bird that was safe and protected in it’s cage. 

+

hope you enjoyed!! i’m posting this instead of sleeping because I have class in this morning :) 

[hacked-wtsdz]

Rating Star Wars ships from least to most favourite:

9. Obitine

I never cared much for Satine, though I still like their moments. They seem like such a soft ship, and Satine is also one of Obi-Wan’s weak spots, he was ready to leave the order for her, which is impressive for a man that is so dedicated to it. They are a bit like Anidala, but Satine and Obi-Wan aren’t as reckless and chaotic as Anakin and Padme.

8. Skyjade

Ok, I have to admit that I’ve never actually read anything about them, but just the concept itself looks incredibly cool to me. Cause it’s a really long enemies to lovers in Star Wars (I’m not a huge fan of the trope but in this situation — Jedi vs Sith….) Also in my mind Mara Jade is the Star Wars version of Black Widow, just cooler, and it makes this concept (pure, light Luke and mysterious Mara) beautiful.

7. Maulsoka

I don’t like any Ahsoka ships (Rexsoka, Luxsoka, Anisoka😖) but Maulsoka has potential imo. They are both cool, incredibly well-developed characters that used to have an exact definition (Jedi and Sith), but then walked away from it because of a betrayal. They mirror each other in some way. Also the way Maul says “Lady Tano”, and their fight, and the way they went from enemies to neutrals, it’s all fantastic. The more I think about it, the more I like it.

6. Rebelcaptain

I am deeply in love with everything about Rogue One but I’m more into the platonic relationships in it than the romantic ones. Rebelcaptain is still very beautiful and very sad. I like that it’s not exactly canonical cause it never actually happened, but everybody still knows that it is. In the end they hug instead of kissing (because they have stronger connections than simple romance) Did the director want movie theatres to be flooded or what

5. Hanqi’ra

Gosh, Solo was amazing! And Qi’ra is terribly underrated, I wish Disney made a show about her too. I loved her character and her relationship with a more hopeful, optimistic Han than the one we see in the ot. Yes, she leaves him in the end, and takes a part of him with himself, but a part of her stays with Han forever too. It’s a passionate, hopeless love story that I wish we knew more about. Emilia was amazing as Qi’ra, and her chemistry with Alden is freaking awesome.

4. Kanera

Oook. Time for my favourite ships. I LOVE KANERA. They don’t actually have any romantic scenes until the last season, but throughout the whole show it’s obvious that there is something between them. Also, they are space parents, so... I adore Rebels, especially the found family part. Kanan and Hera became an amazing support for each other, they learned how to trust through each other, and they heal each others’ war wounds, as well as the entire crew’s. I almost cried at the end of Rebels because Kanan’s death scene is one of the most heartbreaking ones in the entire Star Wars. Fuck, everything about this ship is perfect.

3. Vaderdala

This ship makes me so excited and sad at the same time. I love all Vader relationships, and I especially love him and Padme together because that has sooo much potential. Enemies to lovers? Possible. Lost love? Possible. Vader fucking killing everybody who ever laid even a finger on her? Absolutely fucking possible. Padme killing Vader in the end a-la Kill Bill? Possible. Vader’s redemption? possible. And every headcanon is just pure gold.

2. Scoundress

I’ve never met anyone who wouldn’t love HanxLeia. Leia not being able to admit her crush on him, their chemistry, Han’s charm…I don’t even want to write anything here. And I don’t need to, let’s be honest.

1. Anidala

These two omg. Their love story is literally the definition of tragedy. Just like with scoundress, they deserve several giant ass essays on their relationship but I don’t wanna write anything here. Let’s just agree that this is the best Star Wars love story and go home everyone.

P.S.

There are so many ships, I just picked my favourites and then picked favourites out of those

[utilitycaster]

You Write Angst Not Tragedies

This might be my most “what if this trend in fandom preferences in story and meta is the sign of larger issues within fandom qua fandom” writing yet but I think it’s worth talking about. Also many thanks to everyone who said they wanted to hear this rant; I was going to probably do it anyway but this lit the proverbial fire under my ass.

There’s a marked preference in much of fandom for angst over tragedy, and while the way we all deal with negative emotions is complicated and personal and what one does in fanfic and headcanon is one’s own concern, I think in terms of story and meta, an overabundance of angst lessens the impact of tragedy.

To define the two as I’m using it: tragedy is about things going wrong in a way that causes emotional pain, and how it affects the characters (and audience).

Angst is, at its best (and it does have a purpose) about exploring those negative feelings, but at its worth, in squeezing sadness from minor or at times nonexistent details to the detriment of the larger story.

A tragedy is a story - either in the classic theatrical sense of a story that ends with death and failure, or in a more modern sense in which those things occur within the context of a larger narrative. Angst is a tiny piece of that, often taken out of context. It’s a few points of a much larger arc, again at its best.

I find that angst isn’t quite the same as baseless theories, but they occupy a similar place in my mind; they’re both for people who want raw emotion over plot or reality, and often for people who I think want to feel they’ve tapped into something special and hidden when in fact there was nothing in particular waiting for them beneath the surface.

I think the best example is character death. The immediate response of others is often full of angst, with intense, acute grief, and anger, and all sorts of messy emotions, and spending time in that space with the affected characters is I think very healthy! The problem is that people don’t want to move forward from there, and in extreme cases they also wanted the emotion without the death.

The problem is grief is a long and complicated process and it often doesn’t look pretty or even necessarily relatable. Sometimes it looks like people very slowly going down a dangerous or harmful route, or pushing others away in a manner that doesn’t end with a hug and a therapist-approved conversation about needing to express yourself, or just...nothingness. And sometimes it looks like being pretty much fine most of the time except for very weird and specific things, and often those weird and specific things aren’t poetic or poignant at all and are even faintly ridiculous or offensive.

And I think those stories are important to tell and I think that actually, a decent amount of fantasy, and especially something as long-running as D&D campaigns, is well-suited to tell them. But the responses to those long and weird and at times uncomfortable stories is often very reductive - criticizing the characters going through grief in a realistic way, or criticizing the storyteller(s), or wanting the pain but no lasting consequences nor complications.

I would say the disproportionate focus on lifespan angst is perhaps the purest form of it that I see. By its very nature lifespan angst takes place when the story is ended. There are no consequences, no canonical messiness. However, it also assumes the characters freeze where they are; that someone who knows they will outlive a partner or friend by centuries never makes others. It is stagnation. It is a refusal to allow the story to move forward when unobserved. It is another empty vessel on which to project whatever you want without having to consider the actual tragedy that led to the angst. It’s results with no work. It’s lazy and uninspiring.

It’s not limited to grief, though, and the other way in which it annoys me is the oddly mercenary, in a way, mining of angst from nothing. In this case it often builds on known tragedies - even sources of angst - but adds unnecessary detail that often detracts from the story. The trend that sticks out to me the most is people adding physical or further emotionally abusive details to the histories of characters with neglect, which tends to have the unfortunate implication that neglect doesn’t ‘count’ to the same extent. The same sort of thing occurs with most examples of this form of angst - it takes something that is already in itself painful or tragic and then unnecessarily embellishes it, with the underlying attitude of “no, that wasn’t enough,” and often with additional strains to credibility that throw me so far out of the story I’m just looking at it going “this is what you want?”

In short: some angst is fine, and it’s an entire subtype of fanfiction for a reason, but the focus on angst is so frequently coupled with an inability to handle any true tragedy in the narrative, which strikes me as childish and dull.

[scary-senpai]

Hm...how about "Best of All Possible Worlds"?

BESTIEEEE (cherished mutual, may I call you bestie?) YOU PICKED THE SADDEST, CEREBRAL-EST, MOST SELF-INDULGENT ONE!!!

Also, thank you for participating in my fanfic WIP ask game I posted in (checks notes) April. To look on the bright side, though, you can’t spell Executive Dysfunction without Fun, so... there’s that?

By the way, I thought both your WIPs sounded super cool--I’d love to see Atomic Samurai and Saitama switch disciples, and I think a lot of us are wondering which is more overwhelming: 3 regular students or one Genos. One Punch “Ham” series? Haha, that’s brilliant! I am here for the Dad jokes, and also any AU where Saitama has hair.

Anyway, if you recognize the phrase “Best of All Possible Words,” you probably know where this fic is going. If you don’t have 18th century philosophical rhetoric at top of mind, though, the phrase wouldn’t necessarily strike you as ironic. But if I tell you it’s about Genos and Dr. Kuseno, and it’s got major webcomic spoilers, you’ve probably figured out where this is going, and that it’s about to get very sad.

Because it contains webcomic spoilers, I put the content warnings below the cut. If this is too sad and you nope out, I won’t take offense. You also asked about “pure of heart, dumb of ass” story and that’s probably more like what you’re used to seeing from me: it’s mostly goofy and a little sad, but all’s well that ends well. I've posted snippets of that one before: “Game Night” (where Genos beats Garou at Monopoly, and Garou is both intrigued/appalled to find that Genos actually has a Lawful Evil streak) or this scene where Garou arrives early for dinner --Genos is at home cooking, but Saitama is walking Rover, and Genos realizes with mounting horror that he probably should have warned Garou about the uniqueness of their pets... Garou asks about all the half-burned chew-toys, and Genos tells him "although we do not have a dog, Rover is not entirely unlike a domesticated canine." Poor Garou gets really excited for Saitama to return with the puppers. He thinks he's going to meet a wolf. ^_^ Little does he know... Anyway, if you want to have your heart broken, you’re welcome to keep reading. Gome “¯\_(ツ)_/¯“

Content Warnings: Major character death, death of parents, thoughts of death, webcomic spoilers, hurt/no comfort.

We begin with denial. Even with six feet of dirt separating them, Genos finds himself compulsively scanning Kuseno’s grave for vital signs, futile and absurd though it is.

“But we cannot trace spirits (or even a single spirit, the spirit), because they don’t exist, and even if they do, we barely have the means to begin looking.”

Genos’ thoughts and theories regarding the afterlife are inseparable from memories of his father, who was a professor of Economics and Philosophy--that’s not canon, of course, that’s my OC... or (gh)O(st)C, if you will.

As you’ve gathered, Genos and his father are both quite cerebral, and they debated frequently, for fun.

His father liked to argue endlessly, eloquently--not that he actually believed in very much. These were thought exercises, nothing more.

People would say they were alike, he and his father--eloquent, tempestuous, uncompromising. But Genos grew up in a different world, one that was rapidly changing for the worst, and by the time he was old enough to truly follow his father’s rhetoric, things were different: debating ideals wasn’t enough. You had to live them.

This is where Candide comes in: it’s a book that Genos read and discussed with his father. Candide, or The Optimistic, is Voltaire’s seminal satire (and later, a Leonard Bernstein operetta) that grapples with what seems like the futility of hope. I’ll get into more details later--but for now, suffice to say that there’s a character called “Dr. Pangloss” who dies several times throughout the course of the novel, only to reappear at later points, flippantly laughing off any obvious distress displayed by his loyal student, Candide. Dr. Pangloss even has a catchphrase, but I’ll let Genos tell it:

People have survived worse. If only someone were here to chide him for his foolishness, his reckless thinking. His father, Dr. Kuseno...

...But it can’t be. It can’t, it just can’t.

The term “Panglossian” has made it into our vocabulary as the term for someone “characterized by or given to extreme optimism, especially in the face of unrelieved hardship or adversity.“

Through Candide, Voltaire lampoons his contemporaries--the Enlightenment philosophers who touted that science and reason would eventually bring about Absolute Truth, and subsequently a better world. But Voltaire has come for one scholar’s kneecaps in particular: Gottfried Leibniz, who came up with this whole “best of all possible worlds” thing. Leibniz believed that if (and this is real big “if”)-- if there is a loving God, then this MUST be the best of all possible worlds. Because, well, how could anything ever be otherwise? If you’re inclined to listen to the operetta, the song is pretty catchy:

CANDIDE: There is a reason For everything under the sun! MAXIMILLIAN: Objection! What about snakes? PANGLOSS: Snakes! 'Twas snake that tempted mother Eve Because of snake we now believe That though depraved We can be saved From hellfire and damnation (Because of snake's temptation!)

So essentially it’s a circular argument, right? It’s kind of a cruel, cosmic joke: the only world you have is the one that’s in front of you right now. In that sense, it is indeed the best, but only by the process of elimination. Which brings us to Eternal Return: the idea that every moment--past, present, and future--exist simultaneously, and constantly recur. There’s some debate on whether this is a multiverse/multiple endings deal (if I understand correctly), but to some extent it doesn’t matter: us puny humans perceive our existence in linear time. Once again, all we have is right now.

Still, Genos can’t help but thinking about it:

A world where they escaped, a world where they didn’t. A world where they never had to run from anything. A world unmarred, one he can’t imagine. And a world with his parents would mean, ostensibly, a world without Dr. Kuseno. So in that sense, he can only choose loss.

Understandably overwhelmed, Genos turns to his Sensei for insight:

“Do you believe there’s anything after this, Sensei?”

“No.” Saitama answers quickly, and only thinks about it after.

“...No,” Saitama says again, more assured this time. “I think this is it, Gen.”

Genos lowers himself to the ground, touching the earth.

“Are you sure this is what you want?” Saitama asks.

Saitama is referring to Kuseno’s final wish: that Genos would run far, far away from the violent life he’s made.

Genos spends some time considering the implications of this--there’s something comforting about the whole “ashes to ashes, dust to dust” thing, because we all return to the same thing, in the end, but... Genos won’t. Or, at least, it will take him a whole other eternity, because he no longer has his biological body.

Genos is not inclined to believe in more noumenal things, like spirits and souls, so he considers that he’s no longer like his father in body (even if has, in all forms, resembled his father), because he no longer has a biological body. In that sense, it’s almost as if he’s been made in Kuseno’s likeness--or, at least, fashioned by his hand. So Kuseno lives on in him, but only at the expense of something.

I tried to end it a bit hopeful and kinda Saigenos if you squint:

“Everything you love goes. Or you go,” Saitama says. “That’s just life, right?”

“But you won’t.”

There’s a pause--an unspoken moment not unlike someone speaking aloud a password, and waiting to be allowed in. 

In the silence, Genos imagines his heart breaking. Would break, if it hadn’t already.

But enough of that, he thinks. I no longer have a heart.

Saitama sits on the ground beside him and takes a handful of earth, sifting the dirt through his fingers -- it slips through them like air, water, the things that pass through our hands with no hope of being held.

“No,” Saitama says at last. “I guess not, huh?”

And that’s how I feel about Saitama, especially lately--he says the right thing, kinda, but he tends to botch the delivery at least a bit.

I still haven’t worked out an ending, my notes say “something something universe left to cease and grow cold?” but I’d like to end it at least a little more hopeful than the inevitable heat death of the universe. That's kind of a lot.

I’ve always liked writing about Genos and Garou because they are two characters that aren’t going towards strength as much as they’re running away from weakness, and abandoning their human bodies has (for whatever reason) become a key part of that journey for them. That’s interesting when you consider that many responses to trauma live just as much as the body as the mind. Garou monsterizes because that’s his solution to never feeling strong in his human body (despite having objective evidence to the contrary) and (unless I’m mistaken) it’s never confirmed that Genos lost his body during the Mad Cyborg attack, just that his human body was too weak to achieve his goals.

 Even if Genos wasn’t directly injured by the mad Cyborg, he did witness the attack-- which means it was likely a narrow miss. In any case, being exposed to the overall violence and un-safety of the world would understandably provoke overwhelming anxiety and fear as well as grief. You might decide to cope with that feeling of vulnerability by upgrading your body to something more durable. Likewise, if you were a scientist ethically conflicted about performing such extreme body modifications on a child, you might take into account the aggressive/reckless behavior that Genos demonstrates now--which is actually a very common trauma response. (This is what I perceive in Garou, as well--he's just a confused kid that has forgotten you can also get serotonin from hugs, not just near-death experiences.).

...I recently did a small (sad) fic exploring similar themes with Garou’s character. Since it’s my crack headcanon that they’re both from the same village, Garou also lost his mom in the attack. To describe the story in the most boring way possible, Garou notices that after his arm shatters and regenerates, and he returns to human form, all his scars are gone--including the ones from his childhood, and he has a lot of Feels about that, actually.

Thank you again for the ask! I really appreciate it, and I always love talking about my WIP. Happy writing ;)

[rukia-simp]

Rukia’s Feelings

Let's discuss feelings in Bleach because there's a lot of double standards here and it hurts me to watch people think they've "debunked" arguments but they only told a vague fairy tale. That's why I'm saying that Rukia had fallen in love earlier than you think. In fact I would even say that she fell in love before Orihime. Orihime may have had a crush on Ichigo first, but she never said “love” until the arrancar saga.

Rukia fell in love first. In fact there's textual evidence for this. We all know this iconic scene. Kubo was never into romantic tales, however he wouldn't pull this BS out of his ass for shits and giggles. He's not that kind of writer. Every scene has purpose! Stop the disrespect!

This scene isn't meant for fanservice. It's meant for setting up motive. Why does Rukia want to leave?

Before I answer that. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is what literary analysis calls DRAMATIC IRONY. In which the audience knows something that characters might not know. For example like when we know Isshin is a Shinigami, but Ichigo doesn't know. We know Rukia's true feelings but Ichigo and other people don't because they obviously can't read her inner monologue. Ichigo can't read her motives until her tears tell him the truth. Now to answer the original question above. She left because she was afraid that if she stayed any longer in the living world, her already developing feelings would make it harder to leave later on. She needed to get out of Ichigo's proximity so that her attachment can't be used as leverage or puts him in danger. After all it was her emotional attachment to Kaien that allows her to identify every emotion that she's feeling at this moment in the story. She doesn't want to bring Ichigo the same demise as Kaien. It's because of her emotions that Kaien's death hit her so hard. Without emotions and that attachment to Kaien, it would have been just another death in the Soul Society. Why is this important? Because Rukia's trying to learn from her past. Ichigo's stubbornness messes up her plan, but it's also what ends up saving them in the long term. She runs away with the hope of forgetting all of her experiences with Ichigo. Ichigo did the same thing Kaien did with Rukia in the 13th division. Ichigo didn't make her feel alone or like an outcast. They both treated her the way she always hoped people would treat her. With respect, and as an equal. She never wanted to be put down nor be put on a pedestal because of her last name. Or because of her rank. But everyone did, even her future husband. The only two people who canonically didn’t was Ichigo and his cousin. Rukia just has a weak side for men like that. Rukia has a type unlike Orihime. We know why she loves Ichigo, but there's no clear reason as to why Orihime does. It's very broad, and not narrowed down to a specific reason. Which makes her crush easy to attack with no actual solid defense. I can tell you EXACTLY where Ichigo and Rukia's relationship changed from salty coworkers to immediately more than friends. I've reread Bleach multiple time, and have yet to see the exact moment where Ichigo and Orihime's feelings change. Most of it looks like it's offscreen.

Just so no one gets confused. I'm referring to this scene. This was where Ichigo and Rukia's relationship could never go back to being coworkers and friends.

Anyways, people like to argue that Orihime is the one that likes him so she is guaranteed that "happy" ending. I call BS because Nel and Riruka had just as much infatuation with our protagonist, but all I see is them getting the short end of the stick. Orihime IS NOT SPECIAL. But Rukia IS special. This woman "COINCIDENTALLY" has a paralleled past to our protagonist. She "COINCIDENTALLY" spent Ichigo's entire past arc as his only form of foundation and support. And she "COINCIDENTALLY" is the one to be asked about HER feelings because she's not as open about her emotions, since she's a SHINIGAMI. Shinigami have LITERALLY been taught to not be emotional. Duty before love. Rukia's characterization and occupation don’t allow her to confess straight up. Orihime has the privilege of no limitations. Rukia isn't as lucky! Why the hell would Kubo emphasize this so much for it be a fecking dead end?!

But that's why Rukia's confession is in the form of denial. Because in order to keep her IN CHARACTER, Kubo needs to write a confession that sounds like Rukia. He must emphasize how strong her feelings are. They are so strong that they overcome her usual stoicism, sternness.

Byakuya himself knew that Rukia only showed this much emotion towards Kaien. That's why he concluded that there's something special about Ichigo. He has identified the pattern.

All of this had purpose. I refuse to believe it was all for nothing. This scene was a confession, and just a sad reminder that unfortunately Ichigo and Rukia's ending was always on a tight rope. He put too much effort into their relationship. He put a freakish amount of effort into their relationship. And honestly this makes the story make more sense, in my opinion. Think about it like this. If Rukia was not in love in this scene then it wouldn’t be as memorable in the Ichiruki fandom. And Rukia would be a completely different character. By Rukia already having feelings they stimulate Ichigo into finding out his own feelings (which is in the Lost Agent Arc). And it makes sense because Rukia might fall easier, but she’s more passive when it comes to answering to her desires. Just look back at her past with Kaien, and her reaction towards his wife. She’s not the type to pursue feelings. But Ichigo is more aggressive than her. But he’s more dense as well. Ichigo is the type to initiate the relationship, but he has to be aware of it. How can you be aware of it if your dense? I mean the fact that Ichigo is dense about Orihime’s blatant feelings can’t be a coincidence. For me, it almost seems like Ichigo is dense, not because he’s not meant to see Orihime’s feelings, but because it makes it harder for him to identify his own feelings for a certain person (personally I thought and still think that it’s supposed to be Rukia). It delays endgames, and allows for more satisfying development. However, this could just be my optimism speaking, but I don't think Kubo is stupid. But that time frame for TYBW was ridiculous and I truly believe it was a factor in their final decisions. But I might be blinded by my optimism. Well anyway, this was another piece of analysis. Just want to call out some hypocrites. I'm right now putting on the table that Rukia arguably has just as much feelings for Ichigo. So the argument that Orihime is "obligated" to Ichigo's love is too vague. It's a horrible argument, but I'm always open to discussion. Respectfully of course. But then again this is social media so...

My next analysis is probably going to be on this gorgeous scene. I'm just going to explain its significance and what makes it an irrefutable Ichigo and Rukia moment. Please look forward to that! Thank you to everyone that read this far. Have a wonderful day!

Also no hate on Renji and Orihime. I know Renji thought he had good intentions, but if he's so special then he should have been able to fix it before 40 years of no interactions. And Orihime is a sweetie, but her unrealistic look on life is just too polar to my look on life. I'm a realist. I can't get behind that especially when she basically gets everything handed to her without much consequence. Reality would have hit normal women in the face if they were in Orihime's position. To me that's not a good message to teach to anyone.

Anyway thanks for reading! Love y’all!

[stellocchia]

Ok, I've somehow seen quite a few people around saying some things that I just cannot agree with, so let's discuss them:

1) Tommy had no character development. He's a stale character. I'm gonna guess this people have never seen a Tommy stream or a stream involving Tommy at all. This boy has sacrificed so much and changed so much I'm shocked at how many people don't seem to see it.

Let's analyse this from yesterday's stream: he finally gave up the disks after realizing that they really aren't worth his friendships, he apologized multiple times for the things he's done, he recognizes that he's done some awful stuff and that he was becoming someone he didn't want to and actively decided to change his course of action (it is to be pointed out that he and Ranboo are literally the only characters who admitted to their wrongdoings, everyone else still acts like they're on this moral high horse, which is kind of frustrating), at the bench he admitted that, no matter what he's been through, it's not an excuse for his actions. Also he immediately took charge in trying to protect his old friends and the country that threw him out and left him to die trying to left any grudges aside in favour of working towards their common goal. Old Tommy would never have done that! Remember he refused Eret's help multiple times even when he was exiled with Wilbur because of his betrayal? This boy has changed...

2) He betrayed Techno. No he didn't. He was clear with Techno from the start about not wanting to harm Tubbo or destroy L'Manburg. What happened there is that neither of them listened to the other, they both knew their objectives didn't align, but they thought they could change each other mind.

This is obvious when Tommy asks Techno: "You're not really siding with Dream are you?" Or something along those lines. Also it is to be pointed out that Techno did say that he still respected Tommy and that he would respect his decision (which is honestly the most character development we've seen from Techno so far...) and also one more little detail: Techno was siding with Tommy's past abuser! How could Techno think Tommy would be on board with that? He saw the effects of Dream's influence on him! (This is honestly just so frustrating to me...)

3) Niki did nothing wrong. I'm sorry, I know this is controversial and I probably should look at her vod, so my opinion may change later on but, for now though, Niki what the Hell was that?!

Let's start from how everyone immediately believed Dream's accusations, no questions asked. Tommy was right in being angry that no-one (aside from Techno and later Ranboo) stood up for him. Hell, they all still believed Dream after he literally admitted to manipulating Tubbo for the disk, to the fact that he literally only cared about the disk and the fact that his objective was to destroy L'Manburg from the start! He basically told them all to their faces that he was using and manipulating them and they all still went: "yep, seems trustworthy to me!"... are you kidding me?!

So, if everyone was acting so extremely dumb, why am I singling out Niki? Because of the way she attacked Tommy mostly, it was just so hypocritical. She was in the revolution, she saw him fight for L'Manburg, time and time again. And sure, he made a mistake, burned down George's house (which was an accident by the way) and he got punished for it! She knows he'd been exiled because they met before now in canon. He already paid for his actions! Heck, he's literally the only one on the server who ever had any official repercussions for his actions! And still she blames him for all of their problems! The guy who, once more, was willing to give up everything, including his last life, for people who, honestly, don't deserve it one bit. She blamed him constantly, said that he was nothing but a lier (sure he didn't admit immediately to his crime when he burned down George's house, but he did at the end! And that was the only time he lied in an important way! Come on! Plus, as I said before, he already paid for his crimes!)

Also Tommy hasn't been in L'Manburg in months in smp time, and everything fell apart anyway, it just feels very unfair to blame him for everything. Especially when you have Dream right there, admitting to be a manipulative ass and wanting to destroy everything! And especially after you have a 16 year old child-soldier telling everyone in a very obvious way that Dream abused him in exile. (He didn't state it directly, but it was impossible not to understand). At this point it just really feels like victim blaming. I'm sorry, maybe I'm misunderstanding Niki's character, admittingly I don't watch her, so feel free to correct me if I missed something big, but that's just how it felt.

Some last few considerations:

I'm gonna admit I'm sad Techno and Tommy split apart. I loved them together and I really don't think L'Manburg deserves Tommy right now... because it is true that they threw him out at the first hardship they encountered and then left him to die, it is true that they never really tried to get him back and it's true that they never stood up for him. Time and time again they forced him in the position of the hero and then acted like that was just what he owed them, but it isn't. He doesn't owe them his life, he doesn't owe them his loyalty, he didn't even owe them his disks! But this is Tommy's choice (even Techno recognized) and he chose to, once again, be selfless. He could have stayed with Techno and chose the easy path, the safe path, but he decided to stand up for what he believes in and fight for his ideals and I think that's something we can all respect in a character.

I hope the others (especially the adults... please don't let the literal kids of the server be the only rational ones...) will be able to put their grudges aside and fight together for the greater good... but I have the feeling they'll fall apart. So adamant in not being on Tommy's side that they'll end up helping Dream take over. Also I'm so afraid for Ranboo and Tommy right now, I feel like at least one of them isn't gonna survive today (either that or Ranboo will switch sides).

Also, Punz is not gonna betray them in this battle, or at least, that wasn't the plan he and Dream had. Dream was planning to do something big that would force him to leave for a while and was planning to leave Punz there as his spy on the inside. Their plan is going swimmingly so far...

(Also, on a little note, I love how supportive and understanding Fundy was of Ranboo after the reveal of his "betrayal". He thinks Ranboo was right, he still trusts him and I just... their friendship just makes me so soft and it's honestly my favourite relationship in the smp)