#carmen is so interesting though and i hope we get to find out more about her in limbus company | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

carmenized-onions · 3 months

Text

Just Dropped. | Missing Invoice

logline; It's still fucking Friday. Half past five, maybe?

[!!!] series history, this is the eleventh; We're jumping RIGHT back in babe, feel free to re-review chapter ten to remember everything lmao.

Spotify Playlist, if you like to listen while you read. I listen to it when I write :) Constantly gettin’ added to.

portion; 8.2k Thank fucking god this got split off from the last.

possible allergies; hurt,,,,, some comfort? You'll see, idk. No spoils. Terrible self-image, a lot of talk of Mikey's death and blame about it. Just a lot of mean and hurtful words to oneself and others.

pairing; Carmen ‘Carmy’ Berzatto & Fem Reader (i don't believe there's any pronouns but feminine titles are used? you'll see) Also, if I'm being honest, this chapter is not about Carmen, lmao. but when are they, really?

you ever notice that the other shoe chapter doesn't have a period? lol pranked you!! genuinely both very interested and very nervous to hear y'alls thoughts on this one,,, i hope you like it,,,, if you don't,,,, let me down so gently, sweetpea

Same team. You say to Marcus.

It’s an idiom you coined, long ago. It’s a simple phrase you and your friends started to exchange whenever heads got hot, and you had to remind each other that at the end of the day, you’re fighting for the same thing. To get through the end of the day, together. You’re on the same team.

It’s not interchangeable with ‘we good?’ It means so much more than that. Fights happen, they do. You know that better than anyone, but it’s important to remind each other what you’re fighting for. Same team, you say to Marcus, after reciting all the pastas on order.

He says it back, calming down. Talking to Richie was just as important as running expo; same team. He gets it. You exchange reassuring nods.

Two doors swing open. First, Sweeps comes in through front of house, pressing a note to your back, you hold it there. You don’t think it’s a good sign when he mumbles, slipping past your shoulder. “Need a smoke break, one sec.”

Second, Carmen swings out of his office. Phone call over, he seems deeply bothered. Is Natalie okay? Is he okay? You imagine he wouldn’t just return to his station, right in front of expo, if everything wasn’t okay. He does seem… On the verge of something, though. Despite your concerns, you continue to bark out orders. You try to run it a little more… prim, this time, with Carmen back. A couple fewer ‘love yous’ peppered in between table numbers. You don’t want to make him snap by running the place not like his Exec would.

Richie rolls back his shoulders, stretching out his neck. He tries to find sympathy and kinmanship, in Carmen, “Cousin, your ol’ boss is such an asshole, you wouldn’t believe what he—”

“Respect him, Chef.”

Huh? That gives both you and Richie pause. You stutter on the order. “Twen—Twenty-six, table twenty-six, waiting on fish, Chefs.”

“Fish.” Carmen hands the plate off to expo, immediately. Cold. He hasn’t even commented on you running expo yet. Is he mad? You’re probably doing a shit job at this. You hand the serving tray off to Fak to run. He speeds out, like a reverse lassie, sensing danger and wanting to get the fuck out immediately.

“…Respect him?” Richie repeats, dumbfounded.

“He’s a Two-Star Executive Chef.” Carmen doesn’t take his eyes off his cutting board. You’re not sure what he’s making, right now— Oh shit, you should tell him about the cherry and lamb before he wastes his time.

“Don’t matter what his title is—” “Yes. It does.”

Richie’s brows raise then furrow, as do yours, just not nearly as dramatic. Neither of you were expecting a fight over this, you’ve both been serving this man first hand. Carmen worked for this guy for like two or three years, he knows. He has nightmares about this guy. You were expecting comradery. The guy is a dick, why won’t Carmen admit that? Why’s he suddenly got stock in his captor?

“Who shit in your cereal? He’s bein’ a fuckin’ creep, Cousin.” That touches your heart, a little bit. Richie’s not directly saying it’s affecting you, but it’s nice to know that he just as equally cares about your discomfort.

Carmen’s a different story, though. Because he doesn’t question why Richie would say this. Doesn’t bother to consider the idea that he’s not fully informed, on the situation. On any situation, for that matter. He just thinks he’s being attacked, for some reason.

“N’ what the fuck are you?”

That snaps you off of your focus— Quite frankly, it snaps half of the kitchen out of their focus. Everyone’s knives pause above their cutting boards, spoons half dipped into pots, it hangs in the air, for a second.

“Pardon me?” Richie puts a hand over his chest, taking a half step back, to physically display how much offense he’s taken. Fucking hell, it’s gonna be this now. “What the fuck am I?”

“D’you want me to tell you? Cause I’ll fuckin’ tell you.”

You’ve gotta get between this, before Carmen can tell him. You slip Sweeps’ note in your pocket, long forgetting it, at this point. When you step forward, Richie puts an arm in front of you, barring you from getting in the middle of this. “Rich—”

“Please.” Richie goads, ignoring you. “En-fucking-lighten me.” You immediately brace yourself for whatever impact you and the rest of this kitchen are going to be collateral for.

“You’re a fuckin’ deadbeat, Rich.” Carmen puts his knife down, turning from his station to face Rice. Where the fuck is all this coming from? What kind of phone call was this? When you open your mouth to interrupt, Richie puts his other hand up in front of your face, shushing you. He wants to hear what Carmen has to say. You desperately do not want to hear what Carmen has to say.

“You wouldn’t have shit without me.”

“Oh, I wouldn’t have shit?”

“You wouldn’t be able to pay for your fuckin’ life—” “Oh here we go—” “Or your fuckin’ kid—” “Oh, oh you wanna talk to me about my fuckin’ kid?” “You wouldn’t have shit—” “At least I have a fuckin’ kid.” “Fuck you!”

“Fuck you, you don’t have shit, Carmen, you don’t let good shit ever fuckin’ happen to you. So fuckin’ tough, never let anyone talk to you.”

It is impossible to get a word in, inch wise. They are so in each other’s faces, Carmen’s a bit shorter than Richie, and that somehow does not make him any less intimidating. This has been brewing long before you showed up, that much is very fucking clear. What caused the snap to happen now is beyond you.

You cannot find a moment to interrupt, to attempt to mediate. No one can. The kitchen is divided, some continue cooking to avoid the situation, some have stopped to watch, wondering to themselves who’s going to intervene, and some are like you, waiting for the right moment to step in. There will never be a right moment to step in.

“Where were you, when I fuckin’ put your brother in the ground, you selfish piece of shit?”

Oh. Stray bullet, for you. You wince— Not that you weren’t already, but that was definitely a personal hit. Richie’s still harbouring resentment over that for Carmen, which means he still holds it somewhere for you, too. And at least Carmen came back after, to take care of The Beef. Where the fuck were you for the better half of a year? Vanished. You completely vanished, on him.

“You’re so fucking obsessed with my family— Such—You’re such a fucking leech.”

You catch it from Carmen, too. Does Carmen see you as a leech? A parasite, tethering to his family? To his work? Is that why he’s mad, right now? You’ve inserted yourself without asking— You’re so pushy— No, no, he likes that your pushy, you’re good. He doesn’t think that about you, he doesn’t actually think Richie is a leech either, he’s just saying shit to start shit. It’s working. He’s really stirring up shit.

“Oh, I’m fucking obsessed—” “You fucking leech—” “I’m so fucking obsessed with you.” “I should’ve cut you out!” “Yeah.” “I should’ve fuckin’ cut you out!”

“I fuckin’ love you!” Richie points in Carmen’s face, and Carmen somehow manages to not give a shit. It does nothing, for Richie to have said this, and that is shattering. Sydney reaches for your hand, you don’t look at her, you only know it’s her because of the band-aids. You take it.

“You fucking need me!”

“I fucking love you!”

“You’re fucking nothing!”

“Don’t fucking say that!” That’s when you jump in. Practically call and response, for you. Your body processes what Carmen even said before your brain does. That was the straw. Carmen picked the wrong fucking one, to say that in front of. Carmen drew the line a lot of times, Carmen drew the line when he said to respect that Asshole— Quite frankly, Carmen drew the line with the broken sauce ‘you want a star’ bullshit with Syd— But this was the back breaker, for you.

You let go of Syd’s hand, moving to be in between the men, back facing Richie, defending him, “Don’t fuckin’ say that shit to Richie— To anyone, ‘specially not Richie.”

“Oh, like he’s some fuckin’ prize?” Your eyes go wide, like dinner plates. Carmen continues, “You wanna fix him, too? Add him to the list?”

“Fix him?” Is that what he thinks of you? That you think people need ‘fixing’? “I’m not trying to fix anyone, Carmen.”

“Didn’t try to fix Mikey?”

You straighten up a bit, whole brain dialing up. “Excuse me?”

“You’re excused.”

You adore Carmen, but in this moment, you cannot help but think of all the utterly life ruining comebacks you could say to set him on his ass, right now. Bite your tongue, same team. “Oh, I’m excused?”

“You don’t fuckin’ work here.” Ouch.

“Oh, suddenly that’s a problem—”

“Think you’re the fuckin’ peoples’ princess—” Ouch.

“That is not what I’m doing—”

“No no, of course it’s not, you’re such a goddamn saviour, modern day Christ.” Ouch.

“Carmen—” Richie tries to step in front of you, you put the back of your hand on his chest, holding him back. Time for you to prove what you said, in your kitchen, just a few days ago. Time to prove to Carmen, and quite frankly, yourself, that you can take this. That you can take his teeth. Carmen gave you fair warning, that the shoe could drop, that he might do this. Your first fight. It came a lot faster than you expected, but fair warning’s a fair warning.

“Say what you wanna say, Carmen.”

“Where’s your fucking invoice?” Carmen’s never swore at you, you’re pretty sure. It feels weird, in your chest. Cornering. You frown. “You didn’t fuckin’ give it to Nat, don’t lie.”

“It’s complicated.” It’s a legitimate answer, to you. It is complicated. “We can talk about it, after—”

“I don’t need to be some fuckin’ charity tax write-off, alright?” Carmen interrupts, he doesn’t care to hear your explanation. He’s already decided your intentions, and that feels very unfair, doesn’t feel like you’re on the same team. “Just fucking charge me. You wanna work here? Fucking charge me.”

Is he trying to make your entire dynamic transactional? Why is he acting like this? What did you do wrong? Don’t tear up. You can take it. You can take the teeth, Tony, come on. “That’s not—”

“I don’t need fuckin’ fixing, alright, I’m not another fucking addict—”

You can feel bristle Richie behind you. You both handled that ‘fucking addict’ first hand, and you certainly don’t care for him to be referred to as such. You interrupt Carmen’s tirade, “Don’t say that shit—”

Carmen rolls back his head, like he’s tired of some sort of façade— Like you’re being fake. “Oh, my fucking God—”

“What! What the fuck—” “He’s fucking dead, you can say it— He was a fucking loser junkie—”

He doesn’t mean it, he doesn’t mean it, he doesn’t mean it. He’s just trying to start shit. Same team. He’s just hurt over something he hasn’t admitted yet. Same team.

“Carmen—” You can’t get a word out, with this guy. God, you wish this was at least behind closed doors. Wish he’d give you and Richie the grace of breaking you both down without an audience.

“And, and—” There’s a split second of manic laughter to it, he’s so incensed by the idea. “You, you fucking gave that junkie money?”

You’re quick to furrow your brows, emphatically shaking your head. Did you give him discounts on services and pay his diner tab on occasion? Sure. But that’s an entirely different thing. “I never gave Mikey a cent—”

“Oh?” Carmen shrugs, “So you don’t have a joint bank account?”

Oh.

Oh. Is that what this is fucking about? He found some paperwork or a debit card lying around and lost his shit? Carmen and Mikey are very different people, and you love that, but one of your least favourite differences is Mikey never circled the drain, when it came to what he didn’t like. Carmen’s spent forever, needling Richie, and then needling you over some fucking joint bank account? That still doesn’t feel like it, though. There’s gotta be something he’s not saying.

To be fair, you know how the man spirals, you were hoping to explain these weird leftovers from your history yourself. This is what the painting was for. You were supposed to start on the first page— God, at the very least, a softer page, one that makes it all make sense, for him.

“Carmen, I get why you may be confused, but I—”

“Don’t tell me I’m fucking confused. I’m not fucking confused— I— This is my fucking kitchen, alright?” Entirely nonsensical. Too many thoughts are stirring in his head.

It’s hard to keep your eyes from watering. Take the teeth, same team. It was easier to compartmentalize with Mikey, when he yelled at you, because his eyes were blown out, and you could tell that it wasn’t him talking to you. But this is a sober Carmen. This is what he deep down, somewhere, thinks of you, isn’t it? He doesn’t think you belong in his kitchen. Don’t belong here.

“That— That fuckin’ asshole out front, or whatever you fuckin’ call him?” He points to booth twelve, through the window. You are now reminded that there is a window, and that there are more people than just the kitchen, here, there’s patrons. If they craned their necks and listened close, the sound proofing would keep them from hearing Carmen, but you feel like they could probably hear the way your heart is struggling to keep pace.

“That’s me— That’s who the fuck I am. And I’m good like that, so—So if he’s a fuckin’ creep so am I. N’ I don’t need you comin’ in my fuckin’ kitchen, comin’ in my fuckin’ life, actin’ like you know better than me!”

“I never said I know better than you!”

“You didn’t need to!”

“I—” You swallow your spit. You have always tried to keep a level field, with Carmen. Since day one. “I never meant—”

“I don’t— I am not your fuckin’ charity case, you do not need to-to donate to me to make up for the fact that you failed Mikey!”

Yeah.

You can’t take these teeth.

Carmen Anthony Berzatto realizes a couple of things, seven things, in quick succession, after he says this.

Thing One. His middle name is Anthony. Tony. That’s kind of funny. He should tell you that, make you laugh. He never really thought about it, until now. Didn’t have one of those moments where his brain disconnects from his body as a method of escaping the poison in his mouth, so it can have plausible deniability, until right now.

Thing Two. You are not Mikey. He had gotten so caught up, over the past week, conflating the fact that you’re both so likable and so ‘The Guy’ with the idea that you’re just the same. You’re not. You don’t react to being pushed and screamed at, like Mikey did, you don’t scream back. You defend yourself, but you don’t bite back at him, the way he bit at you. You don’t fight. You don’t get mean. You are not Mikey. Carmen always took Mikey trying to help as him trying to one up him; a silent way of saying he was better. You are not Mikey. You helping around the kitchen tonight, helping him every fucking day, was never you trying to one up him— Let alone fix him.

Thing Three. Your cherry and lamb plate is nowhere to be seen. It’s only been like three, five minutes? Where’d it go? He can’t even find a plate of bones. You’re never going to speak to him again, after this, he knows that. He’s never going to hear straight from you what you thought, he needs to see if you cleaned the plate.

Thing Four. He didn’t even ask. He didn’t even mention the photos, the thing that he was actually hung up about. Carmen’s confrontational, but not in the way that matters. He yells, but it’s never the thing he actually wants to yell about. Those candles could’ve been for anything. How old was Eva, when you met Mikey? Carmen doesn’t know, he wasn’t here. Could’ve just been birthdays. There’s a million reasons to have those photos, there’s a million reasons to have a joint bank account. He should’ve asked. He should’ve listened when you were trying to explain. You were trying to explain. You had something to say. You even acknowledged how confused he must be. How confused must you be, right now? He didn’t explain why he was yelling, at all. He didn’t ask, and he didn’t listen.

Thing Five. Carmen wasn’t here. You were. You were here. He blames himself, for his brother’s suicide, and he wasn’t even here. And then there’s you. You were here, and you probably took Mikey on your shoulders the way you take everything on your shoulders. And he just said you failed. He never asked you, if you blamed yourself, but he doesn’t need to. Everyone blames themselves. God, why did he call Richie nothing? Richie was here, too. He’s not a fucking leech, he was here. And that’s a fuck of a lot more than Carmen did. It’s not just about when Richie put his brother in the ground, it was the years before, proceeding, that Carmen wasn’t here for, and both of you were. And he just fucking said that you failed. He said it was your fault.

Thing Six. Carmen glances over your trembling shoulders, out the window, to where he can just see the edge of his old Exec’s head. Who he’s just said he is. Ugh. He thinks back to when that man became Exec, and Carmen took over as head. He remembers the promise he made to himself, when he went back to his shitty New York studio apartment and cracked open an incredibly expensive bottle of champagne (gifted) to drink alone on his mattress with no bedframe. He promised himself that no matter how bad it got in the kitchen, no matter how bad it got in his head, he would never get in someone’s ear and tell them that they were no good, terrible, slow, useless, better off dead, dumb fuck. He promised himself, that he would never make someone cry in his kitchen.

Point Seven. He’s resented the fact for the past week, that he hasn’t gotten to be the first person to do a lot of things, with you. He’s resented how much he missed out on, how much he wishes it was him in the photos, in the memories. But now you get to be one of his firsts. You get to be the first person he’s ever made cry, in his kitchen. When his brain comes back to his body, and he repeats back to himself the exchange that just happened. Yeah, he’d cry, too.

You have wonderfully bright eyes. He didn’t tell you that, before. He should’ve. He gets compliments on his bright blue eyes a lot, but yours just have this glow from within, about them. A brightness that he doesn’t, a sweetness that his don’t. That’s gone now. Eyes go from wide to hurt to vacant. Gone. Devoid. Hand over your mouth to cover the wobbling of your bottom lip. You look like he did, two years ago, at the French Laundry. A shell of what he was. A shell of what you are.

Carmen was right, he is the man out front. That’s who he is. That’s what he is.

A husk, biting down on the hand that feeds; defending nothing from no threat.

Richie didn’t need to call you, to let you know that Carmen’s awful for you, that he’s an asshole to everyone around him, that he’s sharp and not worth your time. Richie didn’t need to call you, to tell you that he’s just some fucking creep Executive Chef, but this time, he doesn’t even have any stars to retain about it. Richie didn’t need to call you. Carmen told you himself who he is, just fine.

Please make eye-contact. Please look him in the eyes, you used to do it all the time. You might never look him in the eyes again, please do it one more time. He didn’t savour it, before, didn’t hold it, when he should’ve. He would’ve, if he knew it would’ve been the last time. He should’ve been savouring it every time. He should’ve kissed you, when you kissed him on the temple— He should’ve let you know. You’re so smart, when it comes to emotions and things— Everything. Intuitive. If you’d look him in the eyes, you’d be able to tell how sorry he is, how wrong he knows he is for saying everything he said. But you’re downcast, trying to zero in on something.

You swallow, blinking wildly in a failed attempt to stall tears, and nod imperceptibly, digesting his words. He wishes you wouldn’t. This is the last thing he’d want you to eat.

Sydney is already rushing to your side, her station long forgotten. “Yoyoyoyoyo—”

She’s distressed, because she cares about you, hurrying to comfort you, taking your hand, then arm, then shoulder. She’s trying to get you to look at her, you won’t. You won’t look at anyone. She’s crouching to get in your field of vision. “C’mon, c’mon—”

Richie is behind you, where he should be, already squaring himself up, making himself taller. Carmen has never wanted someone to hit him, he’s pretty sure, until right now. He just wishes it was you doing it. Fight him back, please. Break his jaw, permanently, please. Keep him from saying anything ever again. Keep him from making you make that face, ever again. He wishes it was you doing it, but he’ll take Richie as a close second.

Richie steps in front of you, grabbing him by his collar, good. “How could you fuckin’ say that shit to Chippy—”

“Please don’t call me Chip.” Is the first thing you say, voice quiet, cracking. You’re pinching the bridge of your nose, hard, thumb nail digging in. Eyes closed. You’re trying to hold it down. “Not right now.”

And like a guard dog, Richie heels. Of course, Richie would find you more important than violence. He cares. You put a hand over Syd's, on your shoulder, squeezing it. “I’m good, Syd.”

Everyone knows you’re not good. Your voice cracks painfully, again, when you say you’re good. “Just gimme a second.”

“I love you, dude.”

“I know, Syd—” “Will you let me?” “I—”

You take one deep breath, slow, rubbing your thumb over her hand. She gives you a clean dish rag. You wipe your tears and blow your nose. When you lift your head back up, to face the crowd that is the kitchen, it’s like it never happened. Well, your face still has that puffiness and redness to it, and your eyes certainly look irritated and glassy. But you’ve gathered such resolve back, immediately. Hardened up, immediately. Turned off a sect of yourself. If Carmen didn’t know you, he doesn’t think he’d be able to tell you were just crying.

“Apologize,” —He'll grovel to high hell— “To Richie.”

Carmen’s eyes flicker with confusion, just for a second, you catch it. You repeat, clearer. “Apologize to Richie. Say you didn’t fuckin’ mean that.”

Carmen doesn’t need a broken jaw, to go speechless, apparently. You don’t care to defend yourself at all, here. Never put yourself first. He frowns, you don’t take it the right way, no, why would you? You speak with an extra layer of gravity.

“Berzatto.” Hurts worse than when you say Carmen with disappointment. Deserved punishment.

“I’m sorry, Richie…Not nothing.”

“Not fuckin’ forgiven—” You put a hand up, turning your head to face the man behind you. “Rich.”

“Oh, don’t—”

“Say sorry—” “He fuckin’ started it—” “You didn’t have to entertain it.” “He was bein’ a bitch—” “Jerimovich!”It’s more fun, when you do it to Richie. More kindergarten teacher like, breaking up a fight at recess.

“I’m fuckin’ sorry, Cousin.” Richie does not mean it. It’s okay. He doesn’t have to. He was right. Didn’t say anything that wasn’t true.

You turn back to Carmen, of whom you still will not make eye contact. That’s fair. “Can Richie take five?” He doesn’t like that you feel like you have to ask him for permission, now. “He’s gotta help me carry tools, to my car.”

That’s a chance to talk to you, alone. “I can—”

“No.” You shoot Carmen down quickly. “Richie’s got it. You’ve gotta keep your kitchen in order.”

That hurts. But he said it. He said it was his kitchen, he said you didn’t work here. You’re so much more than an employee. You’re family, everyone here treats you like family. This is your kitchen, too. He doesn’t really care what anyone else thinks, right now, but it also occurring to him that he said all that in front of everyone here, everyone who adores you. None of these people have seen this side of you— You didn’t come to the funeral. This is probably why. It’s pretty clear you don’t like crying in front of people, the way you immediately go somewhere else mentally.

Richie’s already walking, you didn’t actually ask him to grab your tools from the corner of the kitchen, but he just does it. Wordless. Richie knows how to show that he loves you. Carmen could learn, from that. Carmen could learn from Sydney too, she said it, and she’s still holding your arm.

Carmen takes a step forward to you, and what you mean by it, he’s not sure, but what he does see, is you take a step back. He immediately takes two steps back.

You’re very good. Too good, too good for anyone. Not gonna change my mind ‘bout that. That’s what he said to you, when you confessed you were worried he would ‘figure out’ you weren’t good. He lied to you. The other shoe dropped and he’s the one that made it.

You sniff, you feel bad for taking a step back, but you think if Carmen touched you right now, you’d have a full-blown meltdown, and you’d like to hold some modicum of respect amongst your peers here.

Carmen hates you. You didn’t expect that. But it’s fair. You’re not certain what he saw along with the joint bank account, but if he was able to put the pieces together, it makes sense. You failed his brother, failed Mikey. God, it’s still ringing in your ears. You killed him. Everyone knows that. Everyone hates you. He said the quiet thing, that everyone here knows, out loud. You didn’t do enough. You weren’t smart enough. You failed to do the one job you’ve been trained for, save someone, set them at ease— For fuckssake, just keep your friend from dying. Is that so fucking difficult? Was that so hard? He’s right to say it. You don’t have the right to be upset right now. He doesn’t owe you anything. You owe him.

You owe him.

You look to Syd, “You have a pen?”

You can tell she doesn’t like that you’re essentially blocking off the part of your brain that feels pain. What’d she expect? You were an E.M.T. for three years, you learned how to turn off your brain. She gives you the pen from her breast pocket anyways. You dig through your pants pocket for a slip of paper, oh shit, the note from Sweeps, you completely forgot about it. It’s a folded guest check, it says ‘B12’ on the front. Booth Twelve, you infer. You unfold and read Sweeps' chicken scratch. It’s nice to focus on something that isn’t the rotting feeling inside you… No fucking way.

“Sweeps!”

“Yuh-huh?” It’s nice that Sweeps has only just came back in from his smoke break. He has no idea why everyone’s shocked and/or enraged right now, and there’s something beautiful and perfect about that. Sanct.

“Did he seem serious?” You hold the note between two fingers for him to see and know what you’re talking about.

Sweeps shrugs, slipping his Marlboro pack into his inner breast pocket. “You can fuckin’ read that guy?”

A very fair call. You sigh, then flip the note over, it’s hard to write, using your hand as a pad, but it doesn’t really matter, neatness doesn’t matter. Just write it fast so you can get the fuck out of here and cry in your car about a boy that doesn’t love you and never will.

“Freezer door hotfix, eighty. Plumbing repair, took about four hours, that’s two-fifty. House call oven, seventy. Oven hotfix just now, plus replacement part costs… One-twenty.”

You hate doing this. It sucks to be doing this. This is what the fucking painting was for. Why couldn’t he just let you do it in the order you wanted? You were supposed to start this on a better page.

“Said I’d pay you back for that pinot, which is about twenty on wholesale, so… Five hundred even.”

You click and unclick the pen, several times, shoulders tensing. “I don’t think you need fixing, and I wasn’t trying to make up for anything. I’m sorry, Carmen.”

“I’m—” It’s the first time he’s tried to speak, and you just can’t let him. You can’t listen to his voice right now, you know it’s unfair, but you can’t, so you interrupt him.

“I didn’t tell Nat you covered the invoice.”

You hand him the note, careful to hold it at the very edges, so you don’t make contact when he takes it. “I owe you two thousand.”

At the bottom of your shoddy invoice, it reads, ‘Advanced Payment, M. Berzatto. $2,500.’

You told him it was fucking complicated.

He should’ve let it lie. He should’ve bitten his fucking tongue, like you did for him constantly. You told Nat her brother covered the invoice; you just didn’t say which one. Was it intentionally sneaky? Yeah, obviously, because how were you supposed to fucking explain that? It’s fucking complicated. But no, Carmen didn’t fucking want to hear anything you tried to explain, so you’re just gonna let his stupid fucking dumbfounded face stay that way. If he just told you what he actually saw, like a fucking adult, you could’ve done so, happily. But Carmen hates you, and he’s decided what you are. He probably doesn’t want to hear much of your voice, anyways. Keep it short.

“So just… I’ll just uhm… Wire you. Or something.”

You sigh, thinking about what’s on the other side of that fucking note. “You have my number, you can give it to him, if you want.”

The Exec liked the cherry and lamb dish. Of course he would, it was perfect. It also seems like he enjoys that you’re both smart and clearly ‘spunky’, or some shit. He wants the ‘wine girl’s’ number. Didn’t even bother to remember you said Jack. And maybe, just maybe, he’ll send the mystical wine girl his close friend Michelin Guide Inspector’s number, and maybe they’ll review the place. Maybe. Doesn’t matter to you. Not your kitchen.

A chance at a chance at a chance or your well-being? That’s Carmen’s choice now.

You snap your finger, pointing to the note, remembering. You never brought The Guy a wine, “Pinot Noir. Marcassin 2013. Top left shelf. Pit a cherry and put it on the rim.” It's the perfect pairing, for his dish.

At least get him a star, if he has to hate you.

When you start to move, Syd’s still holding onto you. You don’t pull her off, but you do put your hand over hers, and she knows what you want. She doesn’t care. She repeats. “Will you let me?”

Goddammit. Does she want you crying all over again? You’re trying very hard to not look like a wuss, right now. “I will. Just need five minutes alone, okay? I’ll wait outside.”

She doesn’t want to, but you’re not giving her many other options here, so Syd nods and lets you go. “Five minutes.”

“Five minutes.” You clap your hands together, eyes glazing over the rest of the staff. Rest of your family. You’re trying not to read their expressions because if you do you very well might scream, cry, and throw up all at the same time. “Everyone! Back to work! It’s half past five you’ve still got a whole night ahead, look alive, Chefs.”

You pass Carmen, careful not to bump shoulders. Just get out of here unscathed. Hopefully he’s not too mad about the dish swap. You made the right call. It won’t matter if he’s mad, anyways, actually, he already hates you.

At least be something of value, for him, if he has to hate you.

Richie’s out there, leaning against the trunk of your shitty 2004 Dodge Intrepid. How he knew it was yours, you’re not sure. Probably the goofy bumper stickers. It’s a piece of shit. Broken fob. You have to use your key to unlock the trunk. It still works. You speak at once.

“What the fuck was that?”

You both laugh, though it’s hollow. You unlock the trunk, Richie throws your tools in. He’s first to add. “You didn’t actually want me to fuckin’ apologize, did you?”

You shrug, head tilting back and forth, he kisses his teeth, you supplement. “Listen, the ‘you don’t have a kid’— Touch crazy.”

“He fuckin’ started it!” “I know he fuckin’ did, I’m not defendin’ him!”

You purse your lips. There was the other thing Richie said. “I’m sorry I wasn’t at the funeral, Cousin.”

“Ah, oh…” Richie attempts to wave it off, shrugging, as if it wasn’t a huge fucking deal to him just two minutes ago. “It’s good—”

“It’s not.” You interject. Richie always says he’s fucking good, when he’s not. He’s not good about Tif, he’s not good about the Exec making fun of him, he’s not good about you abandoning him, for a year. “It’s not good, Richie, and I’m sorry.”

You swallow, closing your trunk. You attempt to remember bits and pieces of your prepared speech, from dinner. But this is reality, and typically once transferred from your mind, it makes the words so much clunkier, lines forgotten, here and there.

“I should’ve been here, after. It was fucked up, that I just left. Made you hold it down, by yourself, and— And I can’t fucking imagine, Richie, how hard that must’ve been.”

Standing in The Bear is a touch easier, because it’s so different now. But Richie was there, days after Mikey died, in The Beef. Taking smoke breaks with a shadow that was no longer next to him. Forced to keep morale up, all by himself. You can imagine how hard it must’ve been, and that’s exactly why you stopped coming around.

Richie can only bring himself to nod, swiping his nose, because it’s starting to run.

“I— I didn’t cut you out. I want you to know that.” Carmen was so cruel, with that shit. “That wasn’t me cutting you out. I— I was tryna cut myself out.”

He halfheartedly laughs, confused. “Fucks that mean, Cousin?”

“I—” How can you word this in a way that isn’t just as cruel? “I didn’t think we were friends.”

He mimics being shot. You add, “Fuckin’ listen—” “Fuckin’ drive-by—”

“I just didn’t think— I don’t think anyone’s my friend, I don’t think.”

“What’s that even begin to mean?”

“I… I feel like… I’m just like… So insecure, about my place in relationships, that like— Like I’m not worth people’s time. Like we were only friends because we were friends with Mikey and we were handling him and I was like— Like I was helpful. So, like, when he died, it was like… We— There was no reason, for you to be friends with me, anymore. No us.”

Richie takes a moment, to digest it. The silence is terrible for you though, so you continue. “I’m startin’ to realize, that not likin’ myself, can actually really end up hurtin’ the people I love—”

“I’d still love you, even if you weren’t helpful. By the by.”

Richie’s interruption hits you in the chest like a fucking freight train. “Oh Jesus Christ, Richie—”

“What? What the fuck—”

“That was just fuckin’ crazy.” You cover your eyes, tears already coming to a head. He’s relieved, you mean crazy like good.

“Fuck, Richie, I love you.” You sniff, trying to look at him through watery eyes, it’s near impossible to do without warbling. “Man… You were here.”

Now it’s Richie’s turn to have his tear-jerking trigger phase said. “Oh, don’t start, Chip—”

“You were fucking here, Richie, Carmen doesn’t fuckin’ get that— No one gets that.” You’re kind of blubbering, honestly, starting to point at him, speaking emphatically. It might be better that this is happening in the parking lot rather than in the middle of the restaurant.

“You’re fucking— You’re fucking something, okay? Carmen is a bitch, you were right— You’re good, Richie. You’re fucking good and—and— You were here, and you’re important, and— And— I didn’t fuckin’ say that enough, back then. So, I’m fuckin’ doin’ it now. I love you, and I’m here, and if fuckin’— If Eva ever needs anything, I’m there, if you’re ever in need, I’m there. If you just want to fuckin— Fuckin’ text someone, and actually just hang out like Normals—I’m there for that, too. I’d even go to fucking Tif’s wedding with you, if that helped.”

Richie’s got a couple tears going, which is good for you, because it makes your sobbing less embarrassing. “Fuck, Cousin…” He looks down, rubbing the bridge of his nose, like a self-soothing technique. When he looks back up to face you, he blurts it out.

“You wanna see a Taylor Swift concert wit’ me?”

Your response is immediate and baffled, “What?”

“I’ve got three tickets for me n’ Eva but Tif won’t come, it’s in January.”

You take a moment to buffer, brain half moving out of the tender moment. Shaking your head in disbelief, still fully crying.

“Richie… That sounds, like the worst experience I could ever imagine. You couldn’t pay me to write an outing so perfectly curated to be the worst, for me.”

“Don’t fuckin’ hate on T Swift—” “Richie, I’d love to.”

The death grip grab and hug is so immediate. You feel bad for getting tears and probably snot on his coat, but he said himself it’s a knock off, so he’ll live.

“You didn’t fail Mikey, Chip.” He kisses the crown of your head. Richie must be a good dad. You’d tell him that, but he might overload, the man doesn’t get acknowledged much, you’ve got to take it slow with the praise. You don’t reply to his sentiment, so he repeats it.

“Y’did everythin’ you humanly could.”

“I could’ve done a couple things different.”

“So could I. It my fault, too, then?”

You both know very well, that you blame yourselves. And as much as both of you would like it to, this one cry-fest isn’t going to magically make all of those bleeding guilts go away. Especially not after Carmen tore those stitches right back open.

“Well, no—” “‘Xactly.”

But you accept it, for the moment. “…Okay.” For this moment, you get the lesson.

And you’ll both forget it tomorrow, when you have that split second in the A.M. Where Mikey is still alive, before you remember. But right now, it’s neither of your faults that the glue between you died and left you both to figure out how to still stick together. You stay in that hug for quite a while, crying and rocking back and forth, before Richie lets go saying, “Aright, I do actually need a fuckin’ cig.”

“You’re going to give me second hand smoke and kill me.”

He smirks, already fishing out a loosie from his pocket. “We can only hope.”

Despite your complaints and not being a smoker, you still pull out a lighter for him. Mom friend. Never know when you’re going to need a fire. You cup the flame for him. This is the worst Friday of your life, you’re pretty sure. But here is Richie, sticking beside you. And here you are, sticking beside him.

Syd steps out, she keeps crossing between a walk and a jog to you two, unsure of what looks more awkward. You don’t know, but you do know the option of switching between both is easily the most awkward.

She asks, walk-jogging up to you, “Are you good?”

“I’ve been better.”

She grabs your face in her hands, reviewing your puffy bleary-eyed face. Just looking at it makes her want to cry, too. You hold her wrists. “M’sorry for cryin’ in your kitchen. I know that’s the type shit you deal with all the time—”

Richie and Syd speak in unison, a rarity, for them to be on the same page. “No the fuck it’s not.”

Sydney continues, “That was extremely not normal. Crazy fucked up of him to say that shit— I don’t even know like— Like any of the backstory, but even I know that was fucked up to say.”

You sniff, nodding slightly. “Yeah, a little.”

“A lot.”

You nod, no longer fighting to downplay it. That was fucked up of Carmen, you don’t need to try to make it seem less bad. “Yeah, a lot.”

She nods back, still holding your face. Bandaged fingers pressed against your head. “What d’you wanna do?”

“Go home?” Cry? Eat freezer cake?

“Well, yeah.” She chuckles, so you do too. “I mean like, like—” She nods behind her, to The Bear. What do you want to do going forward? Never talk to him again? I’ll do it, too. She’s saying, wordlessly.

“I— I don’t fuckin’ know.” You admit, laughing, but hollow. The very idea of reconciliation feels impossible, at the moment. “I think I’m just gonna, fuckin’ ignore it, until it comes up. Just don’t break shit until I figure it out, I guess.”

“Wedding gig is gonna be so awkward.”

“Oh, fuck—” Entirely forgot, about the wedding gig, next weekend. Vinnie and Mira, destination wedding. New York.

Richie pipes in, “Tonight’s gonna be awkward enough, don’t even wanna go the fuck back in.”

Syd nods, letting go of your face. “I think like, half the kitchen wants to walk right now, just to fuck with him. I do, too. Should we just say fuck this and go to Mattina?”

“Don’t think they’re open, only do breakfast and lunch.” Richie knows their hours; it wasn’t always just Mikey and you there. He takes a drag, he blows it away from you, so you don’t get second hand smoke.

“Fuck... Could do Denny’s? Inky, you fuck with Denny’s, still?”

‘Think once you realize, you’ll leave, and it’ll all leave with you.’ That’s what Carmen was scared of, exactly. What he thought would happen, if the other shoe dropped. Is this you leaving? This might be you leaving. This should be more dramatic, if this is you leaving, shouldn’t it? There should be finale music ringing in your ears, somehow. But instead, you’re in a parking lot with a chain smoker and your girl, making shitty diner plans.

You can’t let them leave Carmen. So much work cannot be wasted just for your hurt heart. You shake your head— Then nod, confusing yourself. “I—I do still fuck with Denny’s, but y’all have to go back in, you can’t fuck him over.”

“I very specifically want to fuck him over.” Syd’s quick to reply, Richie nods, agreeing. These two are only bonding over a mutual love of you and a current mutual hate of Carmen.

“You gotta get your star, Squid.”

She swallows, at that. She loves you, she does. But you’re right. You always are. This is her entirely livelihood and career, she can’t just dip out, because of a fight. She’s done it before, during the worst rush of her life, but that was small potatoes compared to this.

“Go hold it down,” You look at both of them, nodding to The Bear. “Don’t let anyone walk, solidarity is cute, but I’ll be okay.”

Regardless of how right you are, both Richie and Syd boo you. “Let him drown!”

It’s hard not to laugh. “Fuckin’ —guys— I’m serious.”

“I’m fuckin’ serious too, Chip!” Richie jabs at your shoulder, lightly, “Thought you said you take me fuckin’ serious?”

“Bitch—” You click your tongue, pointing at him, sighing. You can’t help but smile. They’re both on your team, to the bitter end. “I will see you at the wedding, aright? I’ll text you, both of you.”

“You driving, too?”

You and Syd both back up, for a second, expressions baffled. You’re first to ask Richie, “You’re driving?”

He’s equally confused. “What, you’re fuckin’ flying?”

“Cicero’s paying, why wouldn’t we?”

“Uncle Jimmy is fuckin’ paying?!” Richie gives him an emotionally charged chocolate covered banana and still hasn’t gotten on Uncle’s good side? This is bullshit.

“He’s paying for everyone! Or at least I thought he was—” Syd replies for you. “That was like the whole fuckin’ deal— Did you not get emailed a boarding pass?”

“No! He told me to get gas— You’re fuckin’ flying—?”

You clap your hands together, “Richie, what the fuck is going on in your life that this is not the first thing that you clarified for plans?” You tap Syd on the shoulder, “Marcus said he’s cool with switching seats, by the way, so we can sit together.”

“I have a fuckin kid, aright—”

“Ooohh—” You and Syd mock him in unison. “We get it.” “Whoop-di-doo.” “Did you hear, Squid?” “What’s that, Inky?” “Richie has a kid!” “What? No way. He definitely doesn’t bring it up all the fuckin’ time.”

“Alright, fuck you two.” He waves you both off. “Plane's gonna crash.”

Syd shrugs, “You’re doing a twelve-hour road trip, you’re gonna crash—”

“Fucks Inky mean anyways? Stupid ass nickname—” “Oh, like Chip is so original—” “Actually, a dead guy coined it, so betchu feel real dumb now—” “I’m not capable of feeling dumb—”

You interrupt, “Girls, girls, you’re both beautiful.”

That quells them with snorts of laughter, quickly. They both shove at you. Equilibrium.

You explain to Rich, “I called Syd ‘Squid’ in high-school— Literally just ‘cause it sounds funny, and uh, she felt jealous that she didn’t have one for me—”

“I don’t know if jealous is the word—” “So Inky just became the call n’ response. Cause, cause squid ink?”

“Yeah, I’m not fuckin’ stupid. I can do two plus two, Chip.” Richie tucks his hands in his pockets. It’s starting to get a little chilly. You’re now remembering you left Carmen’s jacket at expo. Goddammit, now you’re remembering Carmen and your heart hurts again. You hug your shoulders.

“What’s Chip, anyways?” Syd asks, you and Richie both cringe, just slightly. Syd mimics it. “Bad?”

You shrug, “Just… It takes a lot, to explain, I guess.” Personal. “We’ll need a trip to Denny’s, for that one.”

“So? Let’s go.”

What did you just say. “Bitch—”

“Heard.” Syd cuts you off, laughing. She gives you a tight hug. “Text me when you get home.”

You hug her back, even tighter, if possible. “I will.”

“I’m glad you’re back.” It’s been three years, since you were really daily friends with Syd. And though you clicked right back into place no problem, in this hug, the feeling really starts to set in of how much you two needed each other this whole time. It’s been so long since you both had a best friend. It was good to be apart, and learn things apart, but now you’re both back. It’s not just Richie that you returned to.

“I’m glad I’m back, too.” You clap her back a few times, before letting go. “Alright, it’s been like ten fucking minutes, go be great. Get a star. Or a chance at a chance for a star.”

“Heard, Chip.” “Heard, Ink.”

One last hug from Richie, before they head back in, and you pop in your car, and drive off. Back home. Music blasts from your radio the entire ride, to keep you from thinking. Screaming along to diss tracks help soothe the soul in any scenario, you think. Won’t let anything hit, this way.

A stray cat, the stray cat, the one you feed on your fire escape, is surprise surprise, on your fire escape, when you get home. She’s (you think she’s a she, you’re not super sure how to check, you’re a former E.M.T, not a Vet tech.) biting the flowers you potted out there. The flowers Carmen stole for you.

After a quick google check to make sure none of them are poisonous to cats, you let her. Let the cat decide how much of him stays. You dish out a pile of kibble for her on the one black plate Carmen gave you. You leave it on the fire escape, long after she finishes. Let the elements decide if it gets ruined.

Let Carmen breaking your text streak, never sending you a belated Connections result tonight, decide if this is the end.

This could be the end.

The same picture frame that fell off your wall, just two weeks ago, when you were making the painting for Carmen, falls again. You grumble, picking up the picture frame, setting it on the coffee table. You’ll nail it up properly in the morning. You roll your eyes at the phantom that you’re never certain actually haunts you. “Mikey, shut the fuck up, this is your fault, y’know…”

You sigh, staring nowhere. The wind blows against your window. “I guess it's both our faults.”

You drag your feet, walking to your bedroom.

“I know you said I’d be a perfect match for your little brother, but at this point, I’m taking that as a read.”

It was so fun for me, the way y'all were like, ah, i'm sure this'll be so painful when this is resolved next chapter because Carmen will scream at her about it. hahahahahhaha-- You think the least yet most direct bitch of all time was going to actually confront what he was upset about? NO1!!!!!!! WE'VE ONLY GOT MORE QUESTIONS NOW. WHAT THE FUCK CARMEN!!! What's with that Advanced Payment? And I didn't lie bro, go back and read it, Tony did say Nat's brother covered it. Sneaky sneaky....

Oh, also. Y'all thought I would let the freezer fight slide by? Naahhhh, golden moment of television, just delayed the inevitable muhahahahha and got the FAILED MIKEY?!?!?!?! BROOOOOOOO was it as bad as you thought it would be or no? worse? better? lmk

I loved writing Syd and Richie w/ Tony here. I can't believe any of you thought I wouldn't see Richie and Tony's much needed reconciliation through--- If this was a Richie fanfic, 100% this would've been their smooch moment, fr. Also if you're a taylor swift fan, please don't be mad at me i was doing a funny okokokokokok-- (I also just think it means a lot more, if it's something she doesn't want to do, but will, for him)

i know it's technically still 2022 in their universe but tony was in that fucking car ride home listening to fuckin Ain't Shit, HISS, euphoria, Like That, Not Like Us, Not Nice (YOUR MAMA AINT WORTH THE CRACK YOU SMOKE BITCH!!!!!!!) I know she was so heated in there.

We've got a taglist, I'm bad at keeping track of it, but remember if u wanna be added to this silly little thing you need to hand in an essay (more like a cute lil paragraph) tellin' me what you thought! And also ask. Duh. BUT YA GOTTA DO BOTH!~

@anytim3youwant @navs-bhat @whoknowswhoiamtoday @gills-lounge @slut4supersoldiers @sinceweremutual @itsallacotar @catsrdabestsocks101 @popcornpoppin @renaissance-painting @lostinwonderland314 @v0ctin

I am sorry if your tag doesn't work this is why I hate tag lists tumblr always makes me manually type and sometimes it still don't even work...

As always, i'm always so grateful that you've given me your attention with reading, and if you have thoughts, i'd love to hear em! I always read your comments/reblogs too, even if I don't always reply. Adore y'all.

Next Part

#carmen berzatto #carmen berzatto imagine #carmen berzatto x reader #carmen berzatto x you #carmen x reader #carmy berzatto #carmy x reader #carmen x oc #the bear hulu #the bear fx #the bear x reader #the bear fanfiction #the bear

332 notes · View notes

cupidcitrus · 1 year

Text

I think I’m ready to share some of my musings regarding my OCs. Here goes nothing!

Carmen is a woman who befits the “always a bridesmaid never a bride” saying. She’s the one that’s usually left alone in a group of friends. When it comes to romance, she seems to have the worst luck: no one ever considers her. Even as a child, she wasn’t given much attention, as she was not as spectacular and smart as the other girls in school were, which disappointed her mother. Carmen was also very shy and introverted, it seems she’s naturally always been this way, and Carmen’s mother always wished she was different. She longs to be heard. She’s never heard. All she wants is for someone to sit down and listen to her speak for once, but this never seems to happen. Any time she tries to communicate and reach out to people she wants to form friendships with, she feels as though she is shut down, as if they are uninterested in anything she has to say. As if she’s there because perhaps someone had an idea of her that made her seem more interesting to them, but the more she spoke the more she shattered this reality, and thus the less interested they were in the real her. And oh how she wishes someone could love her for the real her! She knows she can be annoying at times, or that her general sadness can be off putting to many. But she wishes someone would love her - truly love her - the bad parts of her as much as they love the good parts about her. And she wants to be like other girls. She feels so different from other girls. She never feels as pretty as the girls she sees. She often wonders what went wrong when God was making her, what about her makes her seem so undesirable when compared to other women. As she starts to grow older towards her 30’s, she starts to worry that she’s lost goods, that she won’t ever achieve her dreams, that she won’t ever find love, that she’s too old to have dreams of being a princess living a dream. She was always worried that she wouldn’t transition well into adulthood, and now it seems her suspicions are coming true…

When she first meets her partner, Jolene/Elena, she’s not fond of her much. To be quite frank, Elena comes across as an asshole to her, this woman that wants to make things bad for Carmen just when things are looking up (sorry I haven’t revealed this part of the story yet!) but as time goes on, Carmen finds herself warming up to Elena. And she notices something, something she previously thought was too good to be true. Elena listens. Whenever Carmen speaks about her opinions and her feelings, Elena doesn’t shut her down. She stays and listens and even offers feedback. She is always there for Carmen. It seems like whenever she’s feeling down, Elena is right there to help her feel a bit better. And Elena appreciates her for who she is. Carmen could cry a whole night and Elena doesn’t run away or think less of her for it. Carmen didn’t know that true love could exist in this way, pure and good. She always thought she would have to settle. Elena proves she never had to; she proves that Carmen was enough all along. She proves to Carmen that Carmen didn’t have to be someone extraordinary in order to do extraordinary things. She can be ordinary and still be and do extraordinary things.

When I first wrote about Carmen, I was a very lonely person in a very lonely place. I wanted to write about my own loneliness and I wanted to offer myself some form of hope. I wanted to write about love I hoped I would get to experience someday, a love that I think we all want to have and deserve in life. I wanted this story to feel like a warm hug after a long cry. I hope that it is able to bring other people who also feel lonely and unlovable and un special some form of comfort ❤️

#musings

0 notes

thekavemangagemarshall · 1 year

Text

Playa Del Carmen June 8th thru June 13th

This trip was with Michelle Ramirez, Devin Albaugh, Eric Harris, and Alex Anguiano

The five of us planned this trip almost last minute since the trip before was cancelled. We planned it over a phone altogether, it was quite nice. I have never been on a trip with Eric nor have I ever met Alex before June 8th but it was a good time to get to know them. Alex was very helpful getting us hooked up with deals, rides, hotel stuff, etc. She is originally from Mexico but moved to America quite young. I have a hard time finding things in common with Eric, but it was nice getting to know one of Devin’s best friends a little more.

The first day of the trip we went to the pool to start getting what we paid for in our all inclusive trip to the Paradisus De Perla hotel. This included our food and drinks! It started to rain when we went to the pool. It was nice enough relaxing in our rooms because they were so nice for suites, they had two bathtubs (one inside and one outside). The crew had trouble finding things to do on that Thursday night, but I was straight chilling. I could have suggested to go to the night life for adults in the Red Lounge, but I just wanted to be present. They hoped to find more things going on throughout the weekend.

Friday started out eating breakfast with the gang, nice coffee and mimosa drink and chill with the crew. We started drinking really early. Shots were being taken when we went to the pool right after. We are still eating AND drinking a lot at this point. Devin and Eric eventually knocked out under the umbrellas because they were too drunk/tired while me, Michelle, and Alex stayed in the pool and drank some more. We got to talking, chilling, and getting to know each other more. I imagine my closest friend being Michelle yet I believe we get closer more when we drink together. The 3 of us talked about how lit we were the rest of the trip and how nice it was. When I got to my room though, I puked 🤮. When everyone wasn’t tired and drunk, we got ready to go eat some more food and then go to Coco Bongo, thank you again Alex. I started feeling dehydrated at this time and had trouble getting around. I eventually felt better when I got to this club. I will talk about this club a little bit. It is a world famous club where people dress up as famous people and lip sync/dance to popular music. It has a dance floor in the middle that seems to be a ladies only spot. I can see how the club will be ‘poppin’ at some points. Very good experience. I remember my favorite performance being the Moulin Rouge song and dance. I also liked the Beetlejuice dressups. When we were done with the club, we went to a taco place to eat. Drive back was interesting because we had some chats with some England folk and New Yorkers.

Saturday was a day at the hotel for the crew. A few of us were tired, I was at this trip for relaxation purposes, I was chillin. Alex vocalized at one point that she doesn’t just want to sit around at the hotel the whole trip, I understood this. I also understand that we aren’t all there to just do everything all the time. My friends were just tired. We did go to the water park and chillax a little at the hotel this day. They spent a little of their time signing up for the Xcaret the next day. That night we played Truth or Drink, where we learned a little about each other at a Peruvian restaurant.

The four of them went to Xcaret the next day while I stayed at the hotel by myself. I did some relaxing, some gaming next to the jungle, music listening, swimming, etc. I wanted to see myself in this ‘other world’ and how I would do at this resort. Michelle and Devin were nice enough to come visit me when they got back to tell me about there day, it seemed nice and I am glad they had fun.

Monday was our technically last day there. I ate an early breakfast with Michelle in which she showed me another restaurant across the resort, very nice breakfast. Once everyone got together again, we started the early drinking…again! During this trip I would start to feel a little anxiety on and off, but it got worse this day. We were drinking and having a nice time though but all of a sudden the anxiety hit me! I know I came into this knowing that there are two other couples and then there is me, the 5th wheel. I started to get a little anxiety when they started having their little couple chats, comparing each other or whatever. I remember at one point I was with Michelle and I said to her that I did not know what to talk about because they were talking about relationship stuff. She said to me something along the lines of day what you think and talk about past relationships. I was certainly hoping that she would change subjects in fact while in the group, but no biggie. I spent the rest of the day wanting to be alone. We still ate some habashi grill food.

The next morning we found ourselves waking up early to end our trip! I rated this trip an 7.5 or 8 out of 10. I definitely would recommend the hotel except the AC was not strong enough. I found myself sweating when I woke up in the middle of the night. I would say the most memorable thing about the trip was Friday when we got super drunk in the pool and least favorite was being a 5th wheel in the pool 😅. I am really happy that Michelle invited me to join them on this journey!

1 note · View note

offbeateurobeatmiku · 2 years

Text

wait a fucking second

#i was just goin through the lobcorp scenes to see where angela broke script and hit this #project moon you magnificent bastards #there a lot of other stuff so far that hits different after LoR #also like a lot of the things carmen is saying make me feel that the shift in carmen's goals in LoR probably wasn't actually that huge #maybe i'll actually write something about it but prolly not #carmen is so interesting though and i hope we get to find out more about her in limbus company #anyway yeah #lobotomy corporation #lobotomy corporation spoilers #library of ruina spoilers #library of ruina #carmen lobcorp

151 notes · View notes

messymindofmine · 2 years

Text

I've talked a lot about Johnny this season and I'll be talking about it more bc God knows there is so much that needs to be said and apparently some of it needs to be said repeatedly but I also want to talk about Shannon a bit.

Shannon has by no means been a good parent to Robby right from the start but when she went to rehab, I did hope that we would see better behavior from her. I find it interesting that she has appeared at least once in every season yet she really doesn't seem all that interested in Robby. Sure, she went to rehab and that is so great for her. But she had no problem letting Daniel search for Robby. I know she says that her life coach advised her against it but I find that rather unlikely. A life coach's job is to motivate and help you make your own decisions. It is most certainly not to tell a mother not to go looking for her missing son. I can see how leaving rehab may have been a bad idea for Shannon if she didn't feel she could handle it but if she's already got a life coach, there was really no reason why she could have kept that coach on speed dial while looking for Robby and then gone back when he was found and she knew he'd be safe. Honestly, it feels like a cop out to me and it does fit with what we've seen of Shannon from the start. She simply handed Robby to Daniel when Robby went to her. Robby went to her bc he felt safe going to her and I understand why she called Daniel. It's not as though there was much she could've done for him at that point but she just called Daniel and stood by the side as he talked to Robby. She could have still sat beside him and held Robby's hand as Daniel talked. She could have comforted him. But she just stood by the side and watched. And then she watched as the cops took Robby away. Sure she reached out to touch him then and tell him it would be OK but by then it was too late. You can actually see Robby flinching away from her. I've talked about this part before but it bears repeating especially in light of s5. I know she sent him emails while he was in juvie but emails are easy. The LaRussos all sent Robby emails and Daniel even called him. All of these things are very low effort and we saw what happened after with them anyway. So yeah, emails are easy and don't really mean anything when the situation Robby got back to is the same.

She also went to Johnny in the prom episode to tell him about Silver but she straight up says that even though Silver gave her the creeps, she didn't ask him any questions. She's says she tried to talk to Robby but how long would she have even tried given that Silver dropped the car off right before Robby left for prom? An hour at most? Hardly enough time to determine that Silver had his hooks into Robby. She realized something was off about Silver, enough so that she went to Johnny but she still had no problem letting Robby leave for prom. You know that if it had been Amanda or Carmen, Sam, Anthony or Miguel would never have even left the house yet Shannon had no problem just letting Robby go.

In s5, Shannon seems to be doing quite well for herself yet she spares very little thought about Robby. When Johnny talks to her about having Robby stay with him for the summer, they talk about Robby without even acknowledging his feelings. Shannon simply says yes rather than saying she'll ask Robby about it. Then, she tells Johnny that they were both young and dumb and she's glad that Robby gets to see this side of him now. First off, Johnny was in his mid-thirties when Robby was born so dumb sure but hardly young enough to warrant his behavior. Shannon would have also been an adult at least but she didn't have the option to just run away the way Johnny did. She had to go through 17 hours of labor alone and then raise a child alone. Now, Shannon was obviously a terrible mother and neglected Robby to the point of abuse but it's clear that Robby still had some good times with her and apparently still does. It doesn't forgive her behavior but at least to Robby it means something. Johnny couldn't even do that much and still doesn't. That said, Shannon had no problem having Robby stay with Johnny even after she saw the state his place was in and how he didn't even have a proper phone let alone a proper job.

As a side note, I do find it strange that people just assume that Shannon's parents are still living based off of what she said about her and Robby going to their place. There's no indication in her statement that they're even alive. To me, it sounded simply like it was a place they had owned and she had access to. I find it unlikely that her parents would still be alive bc knowing Shannon, she would have simply dumped Robby with them early on. Plus we never hear Robby make any mention of them which he likely would have. Sure, he has a hard time asking for help but he's got a strong survival instinct and would have at least though about his grandparents if he'd even thought they were an option.

Anyway, it's pretty clear that while Shannon is doing quite well for herself, Robby remains an afterthought to her. From the start, she has been happy to hand Robby off to whoever will take him and that clearly hasn't changed since she got out of rehab. It seems pretty clear that Shannon has gotten to a point where she is ready to just hand Robby off for good and get on with her own life without him. This actually also explains Robby's behavior in s5 bc it must have broken his heart to have his mother, the one person who was a consistent factor in his life and who he always looked out for even though she should have been looking out for him, just hand him off to someone else. It further explains why he'd want to fit in with Johnny so much now. After all, he could've just packed his bags and left when Johnny kept pushing him to make amends with Miguel but if he hadn't had the option of going back to Shannon's, it would make sense why he would try so hard to fit into Johnny's life. Now, I dount Shannon would just tell Robby that she didn't want him or throw him out but Robby's a smart kid and he knows how to read people. He would've picked up on the fact that Shannon didn't want him around just like he picked up on how the only way for him to be accepted into Johnny's life is to get along with Miguel. So basically, both of Robby's parents have trapped Robby into a place where he's forced to ignore his own feelings and behave like a doormat for those around him in order to be accepted. It makes perfect sense why Robby behaved the way he did bc in his mind, if both his parents have made it clear he's not wanted anymore, his only option is to bow down and take whatever mistreatment he gets so that he can at least have a place in their lives. I've said before that Johnny may well "love" Robby in the way that a parent naturally loves their child but he clearly doesn't seem to love him as a person. I believe the same to be true of Shannon. She loves him and clearly provided him with the only affection he'd have got as a child. She clearly does spend some time with him doing fun things like watching movies and YouTube videos. However, she clearly has no interest in being a good mother to him

#cobra kai #robby keene #shannon keene

48 notes · View notes

superhero--imagines · 4 years

Text

Part 1 here! / Part 2 Here! / Part 3 Here! / Part 4 Here!

A/N: I can’t always do tags since these parts are long but if you want to be tagged just lmk @thecrazytealady

* Honestly, everything feels so normal

* You’re sitting in the stands of a football stadium as a sea of graduates pass in front of you

* Well it’s mostly normal except for all the stares you get

* “You’ll get used to it” Kate tells you from your right side, you’re not sure when it happened but somehow you’ve become her favorite little member.

* “Sometimes we stare back to mess with them” Irina says from your other side with a teasing grin.

* Irina also seems to really like you, she’s probably you’re favourite

* While everyone else treated you like a child (which in a sense you are), she treated you like an adult

* You hope you can save her if things go exactly like they did in the book

* You’re hoping your close friendship with Edward changes things

* “Oh look there they are now-“

* And right on cue Alice was called first, then Edward

* An entire group of cheers erupt from your section, a few stands above you sits the entire Cullen clan

* Apparently the rest of them have already “graduated”, Alice and Edward are playing a year younger

* You catch him after the ceremony on the -pretty cold- field along with your-

* aunts?

* You’re not really sure what the official family structure is.

* “So what is this, your thirtieth time graduating high school?” You whisper to him after handing him his graduation present

* Some sheet music you know he’s been eyeing and a card that says “you only graduate once”

* You think he’ll appreciate the joke

* “It actually only my sixth” he grins, he so close you can feel a ghost of a breath on your ear

* You notice a couple of boys, adorning similar green graduation gowns staring at you. When you meet their eyes they hastily look away.

* “Hey Edward, what are those guys thinking right now?”

* He follows your line of sight and grins even wider

* “They’re thinking that it suddenly makes sense why I’m not interested in anyone at this school when I’m already dating someone as beautiful as you”

* And if you were anyone else you might have realized how you and Edward look when you’re together to everyone around you

* And it might have been the first sign that things have started to veer of the future you imagine

* But of course you don’t, and you say:

* “Really? You want me to believe two teenage boys used such eloquent language?”

* He laughs

* “I might have picked some.. kinder diction.”

* You both laugh, another private joke that would be referenced for years

* “And where’s my graduation gift?” Alice asks, you hand over a brightly wrapped package, it’s a magic 8 ball and a Chanel scarf, Edward already read Alice’s mind and assured you she would love it.

* “That’s hilarious” she says with a laugh, she hasn’t even opened the package, already seen what’s inside with her gift.

* “Are you coming to our graduation party tonight?” When she notices your confused expression she gives a pointed look to Edward. “You didn’t invite them?”

* Edward rolls his eyes

* “I didn’t think it would be that fun,” he looks to you and explains. “It’s just a party Alice likes to throw to help us fit in better.”

* “It also to commemorate graduating and going to college, which is Infinitely more fun.” She grins, a hand on Edwards shoulder

* He turns his attention to you, his mouth quirked in a lopsided smile

* “Do you want to go?”

* The party scene in Eclipse sure looked fun

* “Sure, sounds like a fun time.”

* It’s decided you’ll drive up with Edward after they all split up, and go to the party with him.

* You’re telling Kate and Irina when they get a look on their face

* “Is that not okay?” You wonder if it’s about Tanya, and how maybe she doesn’t like you spending so much time with Edward.

* “No it’s fine it’s just... will you be alright with all those humans?”

* You had done fine on the stands, but a house party was different, you guess it’s probably easier to eat someone when there are so many dark corners and so many suspects to pick from

* You wrinkle your nose, honestly you don’t get what the big deal is, sure they smell kiiinda nice, but the scent is comparable to one of your deers.

* Also, who knows where these people have been and what they’ve been eating. The thought of eating an alcoholics blood makes you scowl.

* “I think I’ll be fine” Irina laughs, and rests a hand on your shoulder

* “We’ll tell the others, do you want me to bring you a drink later on?”

* You shake your head, you ate a little bit more since you were going to be around so many people today.

* “I should be fine, Edward will probably drive me home, but if not I can always run”

* You always forget you can run faster than a car now.

* “I doubt Edward will refuse the opportunity to spend more time with you.” Irina smirks and you roll your eyes

* You’re both just friends, stuck in family’s where everyone seems to be in a relationship (except for you that is)

* There’s only so much you can take watching Eleazer and Carmen’s pda

* “I’ll see ya later” you excuse yourself to find Edward, who seems to be talking to a group of boys

* “So what’s their deal, are they your cousin or something?”

* “Um... they’re a family friend”

* Looks like Edwards confused about your family structure too

* “They look older are they in college?” Another asks, Edward hesitates, well you are older but you’re not really in school

* “Are you hooking up with them?” Edward winces

* “No we’re not close like that.”

* You decide now is a good time to intervene in the conversation

* “Hey, are you ready to go?” Edward looks relieved to see you

* “I’ll see you guys tonight at Alice’s party” he offers a polite smile before leading you towards his car

* When you’re finally out of earshot, you say

* “You know, I always thought we were the closest of friends” You think he’ll grimace at your teasing but instead he grins.

* “Do you enjoy being the subject of several teenage boys imaginations?”

* “I mean, it’s not-not a little bit flattering.”

* On the drive back to his house Edward takes you through town and points out every mundane landmark like you’re on a safari tour

* “And that is the grocery store I never visit, and next to it is the diner I had to pretend to eat food at during my mandatory “senior breakfast””

* “So what you’re saying is, this is the worlds’ most boring town.”

* “I would say boring adjacent, the town we’ll move to next doesn’t even have a major grocery store”

* He’s definitely talking about Forks.

* You must have killed quite a bit of time with your impromptu tour because when you get to the party it’s in full swing

* You and Edward stand in a corner and play your favorite game

* “Blonde girl in the corner.” He says

* Edward picks someone, and you have to guess what they’re thinking. You’re never right but it’s still funny

* “Hmmmm I’m going to say she’s thinking... ‘This is what all the hype was about? Can’t believe I’m wasting my Saturday night HERE.’”

* He laughs and shakes his head

* “She’s actually thinking about how the object of her affections hasn’t noticed her once, and has been spending all his time with someone else instead.”

* You totally miss the meaningful look Edward gives you.

* You make a face, unrequited love was the worst

* “Well that sucks, I wish there was some way we could help.” Edward only shrugs

* “They’re human problems, for us even if the person we love doesn’t love us back, we just wait a a decade or so, and they usually change their mind.” He grabs your untouched red solo cup

* “I’ll go get us some more drinks.” For a second you wonder if maybe Vampires can drink alcohol, but then you immediately deflate.

* Oh right, the human act, you almost forgot.

* You’re standing by yourself when the “unrequited love” girl from before approaches you, another girl with hair the color of caramel in tow

* “Hey, I haven’t seen you around before, do you got to our school?”

* Any person could see this was a hostile encounter

* anyone except you that is

* “Nah, I’m taking a gap year right now.”

* “Oh?” Miss. Unrequited lights up at that. “Didn’t get into your first choice school?”

* “No my parents died.” You say it causally, but they both freeze at that. So much has happened, colleges and your parents are the last thing in your mind. You notice the reaction though “It’s been a while though, so everything’s fine now”

* You give your best smile and the girl in front of you seemed flustered

* “How do you know Edward?” Miss. Caramel asks, while her friend takes a long sip from her cup.

* “Well- I guess he’s a family friend, but really I met him through Carlisle.”

* “Through Carlisle?

* “Dr. Cullen,” you quickly supply, to them he’s just the local handsome doctor. Not exactly someone who they’re on a first name basis with. “Yeah, Carlisle talked about Edward a lot when I was in the hospital.”

* Before you can scar either of these girls further, Rosalie appears by your side

* “Hey! Glad to see you made it!” She gives you a side hug and turns her amber eyes to the girls in front of you. “Amber, Bethany glad to see you. What are you guys talking about?”

* Both of the girls fall speechless in front of her, probably from her beauty you guess.

* You still get the urge to shield your eyes when you look at Rosalie.

* “Edward.” Rosalie rolls her eyes

* “Of course, the most perfect man alive.” You snort at that.

* “Perfect my ass, I saw him snort drinking yesterday and he sprayed the whole counter top.” Rosalie raises a well groomed eyebrow

* “Really?” A smiles tugging on her lips

* “That’s not even the worst part, do you know he took 43 minutes to clean it up.”

* Rosalie laughs, and the other two look at you with awe.

* “Edward Cullen snorts?” The caramel Coloured hair one, Bethany asks.

* “To be fair I did say a pretty good joke”

* “What was the joke?” Amber asks, and you grin.

* “What did the vampire say to the girl?” They look at each other and shrug

* “What”

* “See you next month” The two girls don’t seem to think it’s good, but Rosalie is dying of laughter

* “He must have hated that!”

* “Oh I’m sure he did, that’s why I said it” Rosalie laughs even harder

* By the time Edward comes back, it’s basically just a two way conversation with you and Rosalie roasting the ever loving crap out of Edward, with two humans eagerly watching

* “One time while we were eating Edward just kept complaining about how “existence is agony and how none of us have a soul” like dude, we’re eating, could you just chill for a second please?” Rosalie says and you laugh

* “I have the perfect Edward impression” you clear your throat and set your face to the best “I’m constipated and existence is agony” face you can manage “I’m an outsider. No one can understand me. No one has thoughts like I do. Existence is agony”

* if Rosalie could die she would have died of laughter, she’s hunched over and every time you think she’ll stop laughing she starts another wave.

* “To be fair, I don’t think anyone has thoughts like mine” You turn to see Edward behind you, he’s actually got an amused smile as he hands you a red solo cup.

* “It’s Henrietta,” he whispers in your ear. “ I figured all the laughing might have made you thirsty”

* “For an outsider like yourself, that’s awfully kind of you.”

* The laughing did make you thirsty, it also explains what took him so long. You wonder if he ran all the way to your house to get you a drink.

* Rosalie doesn’t say anything just grins as she watches you two, Edward’s eyes flick from you to her, and you wonder what he’s experiencing right now

* You’re not going to lie, his narrative of mind reading was your favourite part of midnight sun

* “Do you want to dance?” Well that question came out of nowhere.

* “Sure”

* Queue you and Edward awkwardly waltzing on the makeshift dance floor

* “Who taught you how to waltz?” Edward asks as you step on his feet yet again, you’re glad he’s a vampire and can’t feel pain.

* “You. Right now. I’m learning from the school of life experience.” You grin and he rolls his eyes

* “Here,” he picks you up, and places your feet on top of his. “Better?” You nod and laugh

* “They’re kind of cute right?” Rosalie says to Amber and Bethany, a twinkle in her eyes. Amber sighs.

* “Yeah they are.”

* Rosalie feels kind of bad. She didn’t mean to rub it in her face, but she doesn’t like anyone being mean to you. She already kinda liked you from The game night , and after tonight she REALLY likes you. It’s nice to have someone else on the “roast Edward squad”

* “Oh look, it’s Bradley from the swim team, should we go over and say hi?” Bradly was definitely single, and Rosalie loves playing matchmaker “Sure”

* Edward drives you home at the chaste time of 11:30

* “Did you have a good time tonight?” He asks, walking you to the front door. Ever the gentleman.

* It’s not like a thing alive could hurt you anymore.

* “Yeah it was really fun!” He let’s out a sigh of relief and a nervous smile.

* “That’s good, you’ve been seeming kind of... off lately so I was worried”

* Ah, so he had noticed. You had been feeling off lately. Only four more years with him at most until he moved somewhere far away.

* “Yeah, I’m just a little jealous I guess.”

* “Jealous of what?” His eyebrows thread together. And you sigh.

* “You get to go to college and I can’t.”

* You really are jealous about that, While you’re stuck in the house, Edward will get to move forward and make all sorts of relationships and memories

* His mouth purses, and you feel bad. You shouldn’t have said anything, there’s nothing he can do about it after all.

* “Ah, don’t worry about it, I’m just glad to be here with people who care about me.” That only makes him frown more. But he offers you a small smile.

* “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He says and then he does something really unexpected:

* He kisses your forehead, before retreating back to his car. You watch his car wind away down the circle driveway from the porch. A hand on your forehead where his lips touched and a flutter in your heart.

* Man, Edward was so unintentionally smooth, no wonder Tanya was still hung up over him

* Wait, was Tanya still hung up over him?

* Somehow you found her behavior not consistent with someone with unreciprocated feelings

* The days pass on by, Edward’s around more now because it’s summer break.

* Likewise trips to the Cullen residence are also more frequent because it’s summer break

* You oddly enough spend a lot of time with Rosalie, you mostly roast Edward but occasionally you reminisce about human stuff

* “What do you miss the most?” She asks and you think for a minute

* “Probably Italian food, maybe alcohol” She let’s out a moan

* “Oh my god, how good does mushroom ravioli in a creamy Marsala sauce sound?”

* “Good enough to kill for”

* By extension you also get close to Emmett, but in a totally different way

* “Alright hit me with everything you’ve got!”

* “Uh are you sure about this Emmett?”

* You’re both in a clearing about thirty feet apart

* “Yeah, just show me what you’re made of” He giving you a wicked grin, no doubt glad to have someone new to spar with.

* You shrug, he is asking for it

* He doesn’t even make it a foot forward before he crumples to the ground. You’ve been holding back so long, it almost feels good to not have to contain all your body’s grief

* You reel it back in when he taps out. You expect him to look at you like you’re a monster but he just grins

* “You’re really something else kid”

* You even get close to Esme who assists you in drawing up a schematic for a barn, and Jasper helps you build it.

* “I think the door should go here” he tells you

* “But then it would be facing the fence and that doesn’t seem right”

* He scratches his head and you stare at the architect sketch in your hands

* “It’s supposed to be right here” Alice tells you, already searching through the future for the correct placement.

* And of course you and Edward continue your piano cat and mouse game, where you each start a piece and wait for the other to catch up to your playing.

* Maybe it’s because things are going so well that you can’t help but wonder what went wrong with Tanya and Edward

* So one night, when you’re sitting together in the library, you ask her

* “Tanya why do you hate Edward” She sputters

* “I don’t hate him!” You raise a skeptical eyebrow and she sighs “it’s just- it’s embarrassing !”

* She tells you about how Carlisle had told her about his son, and how he was the last to be without a mate, and was very depressed

* “I thought of it like I was doing a service you know, we would date for some time and have a brighter perspective on this life.”

* You can already guess how this story ends, but you ask “So what happened?” She huffs

* “Well he flat out rejected me, told me I wasn’t his type, can you believe that? A forever 17 year old telling ME I’m not his type.”

* Yeah for a woman like Tanya who was every man’s ultimate fantasy that does seem pretty mortifying

* “Is it-“ you meet her eyes “is it okay that I’m friends with him then?”

* Her eyes soften and she beckons you into a hug

* “Of course it is little one,” she kisses the top of your head “and if it ever happens to grow into more than that that’s okay too.” You wrinkle your nose

* “I wouldn’t bet on that Tanya.” She rubs your shoulder

* “Well you never know, and if that happens, and for some reason he’s lost his mind at tells you you’re not his type don’t take it personally, there’s something seriously wrong with that boy.” You laugh

* The days pass by in a blur.

* Edward starts college studying veterinary science, and every day he comes back and teaches you what he learned

* “Sometimes I feel like I’m getting more out of this than you” he tells you as you do his homework

* “It be like that sometimes”

* You start experimenting with other animals blood, mostly chickens, ducks, and geese.

* You also have a moose now so that’s cool

* After many faithful years Henrietta passes away. You stayed in the barn with her all night, and planted a pine tree over grave.

* “All things die in the end huh?” You whisper as you stand over the first deer you befriended, and Eleazer rubs your shoulder

* “Not us” he whispers

* “Not us” you repeat

* You and Edward are lying next to each other in your bed, both of you pretending to sleep

* “What was it like when you turned?” Edward’s the one break the silence. He always is when you do your dreaming sessions

* “It was... nice” it really was, the venom was warm like a blanket, lulling you into a peaceful last sleep. This surprises him.

* “Are you some kind of masochist?”

* “Well what was it like for you?” You roll your eyes. He goes on a long descriptive tangent, but in short: it was absolute agony.

* “Well that’s weird, I wonder if Alec had some kind of special venom or something.” He flinched at the mention of Alec but doesn’t say anything else.

* The days pass on, just as they always have, but something starts to feel off. Both in your household and in the Cullen’s house. Some sort of tension

* You think about asking Edward or Eleazer about it, but decide against it.

* Maybe you’re just being paranoid

* One day you’re getting blood from the kitchen, when you notice the entire coven is sitting on the kitchen table

* Weird, but maybe they do this all the time and you just never noticed.

* “(Y/N) can you come here for a moment?”

* Well crap

* They all ramble over each other for a few minutes, and you only catch bits and pieces of what they’re saying

* “Everyone here loves you-“

* “It won’t be forever-“

* “Carlisle might even get you a blood bag or two-“

* “Enough!” Tanya roars and immediately the others fall silent, she looks at you with warm eyes and a kind smile

* “(Y/N), the Cullen’s are leaving,” ah, so it’s already time for them to go, Tanya explains how the Cullen’s move around more often than your coven does, on account of Carlisle’s job. Well you knew this was coming. It was nice while it lasted

* “-And that’s why we think you should go with them”

* Wait what.

* “You want me to leave?”

* “No of course not!” Irina shouts, wide eyed, she’s sitting the closest to you. “It’s just-“

* “We see the way you look at Edward,” Eleazer says. Oh not this again, how many times do you have to say it. YOU BOTH ARE JUST FRIENDS.

* “Like you want what he has.” He finishes

* Oh

* “We’re too late in the cycle to send you to school, Irina and Kate have already gone, and it will be another ten years before we decide to move.” Carmen says, her teeth digging into the flesh of her lip. “A lot of things could happen in ten years,”

* The Volturi could want you back on ten years

* “so we think you should go with the Cullen’s and get an education and have a normal life-“

* “Normal-adjacent,” Kate interjects, because life was never going to be completely normal for you ever again. Carmen grins,

* “Normal-adjacent life, you’ll get to have friends, and you could study whatever you want, you don’t have to learn secondhand from Edward.”

* “And you can come back whenever you want!” Kate reassures. “If you decide you don’t like it, and that it’s not what you want, you can always come back, we’ll be right here.”

* They all stumble over each other to reassure you that it’s your choice, and if you decide to stay that’s fine too. But there’s only one question on your mind

* “Do the Cullen’s already know about this?” The table falls silent.

* “Yes, they do.” Tanya says

* “And what do they think about the arrangement?” All eyes trail to Eleazer, so he was the go between for your Covens

* “I think they’re all pretty excited, Carlisle wanted you from the start.”

* Carmen sucks her teeth and lightly slaps him on the arm. “What it’s true, you know Esme’s been cross with him ever since she met them, she wants you too.”

* They’re all looking to you waiting for an answer. You’re not sure what the right thing to do is.

* You’re not stupid, you know things have changed from the original story line, you know the Volturi isn’t going to want Bella as much now that they have you.

* But still... you do want an education, a chance to do everything the way you always imagined

* You also kind of want to see Edward and Bella’s love story play out. Especially now that he’s your friend

* Also you think you should really deter him from watching her sleep, that crap was creepy as hell

* You sigh, there’s really only one choice

* “I’ll go with the Cullens’.”

#twilight #twilight imagines #twilight reader insert #twilight headcanon #twilight imagine #twilight saga #edward cullen x reader #edward cullen imagine #edward cullen #Rosalie cullen #Emmett Cullen #Alice cullen #the cullens #midnight sun #alec volturi #Volturi imagines #superhero—imagines

686 notes · View notes

smol-and-grumpy · 4 years

Text

Legally Yours - Ch. 06

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean Winchester tops the list of hottest entrepreneurs 2020 and yet, there’s still something he wants but can’t have because, in order to get that, he would have to settle down and get married. She agrees too quickly because she wants to secure a more comfortable life for her and her daughter. Will she be able to help Dean get what he wants without losing herself in the fake story they spin up to deceive his father and the world?

Chapter Warnings: The dinner is coming up and there’s a little flangst. Also, they are still two stubborn idiots.

WC: 3779

Beta’d by: @deanwanddamons <3

Series Masterlist ~ SPN Masterlist

It feels like she’s been sitting down for ages and she’s worried about Bobby and Liv. Sure enough, Sam sensed her worries and texted her that they are both being taken care of. So at least there’s that.

Pamela made her slip into the sequin dress after her shower and the woman put some makeup on her face.

“Not too much, okay?” Y/N says, just making sure because she still wants to be herself after all.

The brown haired woman chuckles, “Don’t worry, babe, I’ll just turn up the volume a little, you’re fine the way you are. You have a cute face, don’t want to hide that below too much make up anyway,”

With careful strokes, Pamela shows her how she can apply it herself for her next outings and yeah, Y/N can’t say that she doesn’t like that. Because it seems hideous to always have a stylist at hand, no? She didn’t sign up for this crap.

When Pamela is done, she leaves with a contented smile on her face and Y/N walks over to the floor lengths mirror that’s attached to her closet to catch her own reflection. She wears heels, has to still get used to it because they are way higher than the ones she wears for work. Apparently being fake engaged to Dean Winchester comes with a sacrifice of her feet.

Her eyes trail up her body from her shoes to her face and it’s weird because she thought that she’d probably not be able to recognize the women who will be staring back at her, but she does. Pamela was true to her word, she just really turned up the volume to Y/N’s boring self.

Okay, now is the time to present herself, she guesses. Sam had said that they’re waiting in the study. She’s yet to find out where it is, though.

Sticking her tongue out at her own reflection, she starts to chuckle. She’s living the life she never thought she’d get to experience and god, she hopes she won’t lose herself in it.

With a last look around her new room, she makes her way to Dean’s study.

Dean makes his way into his study after having rushed home after the meeting to take a shower. He had been sweating bullets since this morning and it was refreshing to say the least. It would have been better if his dick wasn’t half hard when he thought about Y/N. He didn’t rub himself off, didn’t let himself go there and jerk off to the image of a girl he paid to pretend to be his fake fiancée. He was afraid that it would uncover things he didn’t need in his life right now.

So, when he pushes the door to his study open, his dick is still semi but Dean thinks it’ll go away soon. Especially when he thinks about the dinner with his dad because that meeting is what nightmares are made of.

Sam’s already waiting on the couch, nursing a drink. He probably had a rough day as well and Dean can’t blame him. He walks over to his mini bar, pours himself two fingers of whisky and sits down with a grunt across from Sam.

“Go on,” Dean says, “I know you have a lot to say,”

The other man just chuckles, “She’s cute and pretty, you didn’t mention that,”

“Is she?” Dean cocks an eyebrow and takes a sip from his drink, “You’re right, I didn’t.”

“You like her, don’t you?”

“Sam,” Dean snorts out the man’s name, “I don’t even know her. She was in the right place at the right time,”

“You were never a good liar. I could always see through you.”

Dean frowns, “What do you mean?”

The other man chuckles as he takes a sip and lets the liquid travel down his throat, “You could have chosen anyone for that. The execs in your meetings, the ones working just below you, yet, you picked her.”

“Are you trying to go anywhere with this?” Dean asks with clear irritation in his voice.

“Wait for it,” Sam says before he takes another gulp of the brown liquid in his glass and Dean rolls his eyes. Sam grins before he goes on, “All our lives, you have never picked a girl, Dean. Mostly they offer themselves to you, even back at school, do you remember?”

Oh, yeah, he does remember. Sam’s not wrong, but still.

“They offer and present themselves to you or your father picks them for you to bring along to social events and most of the time, you’re a one date kinda guy. You never ever picked one on your own.”

“You say it like women are something you find in a field,”

“Am I wrong?” Sam raises an eyebrow to match Dean’s, “Fact is, you picked out Y/N, even though you could have waited. You could have talked things through with me, wait until Carmen gets back and we could have come up with a plan. You know that she isn’t in for you either, she’s signed a contract and was willing to sign that prenup.”

“I didn’t want to wait for Carmen to come back to me,” Dean’s voice is stern. He really didn’t, he didn’t want people to think he let it slide when she’s been cheating on him. How will it make him look? He’s not a fucking idiot.

“I’m just saying that you’re being hot headed doesn’t help us at all. And the fact is still there that you’ve picked her and that means something in my book,”

“What stupid books are you reading?”

Sam chuckles and ignores Dean’s remark, “Carmen boarded the next plane back, by the way,”

Dean takes a sip from his drink, thinks about Sam’s words, “You can tell her that she doesn’t need to show up. I’m not taking her back when I have Y/N,”

The other man’s grinning from ear to ear and Dean rolls his eyes a second time, “And no, I don’t really like her. I barely know her. I just find her interesting, is all. She’s different to all the women I’ve ever met.”

There’s a laugh coming out of Sam and Dean scoffs annoyingly.

Just when Dean wants to open his mouth to tell Sam to shut the fuck up, there’s a knock at the door.

They both turn their heads to see Y/N open the door to his study. Dean feels a rush of blood to his head. How long has she been standing outside? How much did she hear? But before he can think about being more embarrassed, another punch knocks him out when he sees her walking in with her beautiful dress.

“Sorry,” She says, “Am I interrupting?”

Dean has to clear his throat before he’s able to speak, “No, you didn’t. Come in,”

She nods and walks further into the room. She looks absolutely stunning, a really stark contrast to the look when he met her. It’s not that she was ugly before, she wasn’t — isn’t. He can see that she only wears minimal makeup.

“How do I look?” She asks with a smile as she twists around in her dress and somehow Dean wishes that Sam wasn’t here to see her like this.

“You do clean up nicely,” It slips out of Dean.

Clean up nicely? What the fuck did he just say? Who says that?

“You look beautiful, Y/N,” Sam chimes in to probably play off the stupidity that Dean just let slip out of his mouth and Dean sends him a grim look.

But it doesn’t stop there because Sam ignores Dean’s look to wink at her. He’s a little irritated by it, to say the least.

“So, Y/N,” Sam says, “Do you care to tell me how you two met?”

“Sam, aren’t you late for your appointment?” Dean interrupts.

Sam looks at him puzzled and it takes another two seconds until he catches on, “Oh, yeah. It was a pleasure to meet you, Y/N. I’m looking forward to working with you because you’re a delight,”

The tall man stands up and takes Y/N’s hand, places a kiss on the back of it before he leaves and Dean tries his best not to let the feeling of jealousy hit him. He doesn’t know why he should feel jealous anyway. There’s nothing to be jealous about. It’s a business deal. He should be used to it, right? Right.

“My father will arrive in thirty minutes,” Dean says drily, his throat restricting the longer she looks at him.

“Is there anything I need to know before you feed me to him?”

Dean lets out a small snort, “I’m not feeding you to him. I’m there too and can help out. When I think of it, maybe it’ll be good if we could establish the story of how we met.”

“Oh, I know!” Y/N shrieks out and gets all excited. Dean thinks it’s really cute. “How about I got into the elevators so quick which made you spill the coffee you’re holding over your shoes and pants? Like, the story is really partially true and it would be less hard for me to make it sound trustworthy,”

“Go on,” Dean nods his head, and empties his glass before he sets it down on the table before him.

Her long legs and the away she sits doesn’t help his state of mind. The dress has ridden up on the couch and Dean tries to look anywhere other than at that exposed flesh that he’d like to sink his teeth into.

“I was afraid that you’d be mad at me so I offered to buy you a coffee to make up for it, but you didn’t want that because you were late to a meeting. But I was persistent and waited in front of the door and asked you so many times if you wanted a coffee and to please let me make up for ruining your suit. And somehow you agreed, maybe just to shut me up. We went on a coffee date every day until we fell in love.”

After her story, she smiled satisfactorily. The smile of a winner if he ever did see one. One he shows too often after a done deal.

“I don’t really have time for coffee dates,” Dean adds his two cents, knowing that it doesn’t sound quite nice but he just can’t help himself. That’s the way he is. The way people expect him to be.

There’s a little pout on her lips, and Dean’s not prepared for that because it looks too cute, “I mean do you have a better idea?”

“No,” Dean shakes his head, “I like it, I never said I didn’t,”

“Good, but I’ll let you come up with your proposal story, okay? I feel like I can’t pick my brain anymore than I already have. It has been a long day.”

“Right,” He stands up and pats his thighs, buttons up his suit jacket too because he thinks it hides his more than semi hard dick pretty well, “Wait here, I’ll be right back,”

Dean leaves the door open and Y/N can hear his heels clicking on the stone flooring until the sound is out of earshot. She wonders what he’s up to, feels a little nervous about it.

While Dean’s gone, she gets up from the couch and looks around the room. The study is spacious, like every room in this ridiculously big penthouse, she guesses. There’s a desk at the far wall, a bookshelf graces the other wall. It’s full of books. She wonders if Dean really reads. It doesn’t seem like he has the time to do so. She wonders if he relaxes at all because he seems so tense all the time. Maybe he only tenses up when he’s around her, at least she can’t help to feel this way.

There’s the group of sofas where she was sitting on but right by the floor to ceiling window is another sofa that looks out over the city. She wonders why that is because the sofa seems a bit out of place.

Standing by the window, she’s looking out over the city, the people and cars seem so small from up here. She doesn’t dare to touch the glass though in fear that she’d leave handprints all over it. Dean probably won’t be happy about that.

She’s lost in thought, wondering over and over again if she had made the right choice. It was a spur of the moment thing. She does a lot of those, like the time she hooked up with Jimmy for the first time. They were at a frat party and she knew him from her communications class. She let him drive her home, even though he was definitely not fit enough to drive but her head was spinning and she might have had a couple of drags of a joint too many. They didn’t even make it into her apartment, fucked right in the backseat, not worrying about contraception.

By the time she knew she was pregnant, it was too late to abort, and honestly, she wouldn’t know if she would have. It’s not the baby’s fault. She and Jimmy tried to make it work, even though he was always suspicious if the baby was really his. Jimmy’s parents were loaded and he had a bigger apartment close to campus, funded by his parents. She moved in there because his parents wanted it that way, not because he did. While Jimmy was still enrolled and finished his degree, she dropped out to care for their baby. He eventually graduated but stayed in college to pursue his Master's degree.

When Liv was four, Y/N wanted to try her chance at the job market as well, but Jimmy was against it. His parents were too, apparently, because they said that she wouldn’t be able to give their grandchild a good future and they wouldn’t stand to have their name dragged into this. She fought tooth and nail to keep Liv and changed the child's name back to her own. And after a long fight, they eventually agreed that she would take Liv, and Jimmy was not to pay a single dime.

Getting out of the abusive and loveless relationship was probably the best decision of her life up until that point. Jimmy drank a lot and was overall not happy. He would lash out at her and she didn’t know why she stayed. Maybe there was a shred of hope that she desperately tried to cling on to.

So, when she moved out, she stayed with Bobby for a while until she found the job in Dean’s company, and then it went pretty quick. She and Olivia moved into their own apartment.

A year later, she heard the news that Jimmy’s parents went bankrupt and Jimmy was trying to hold himself above water after he developed a drinking problem. Apparently, Karma’s right there helping her.

She’s so deep in her thoughts that she doesn’t notice Dean returning, only realizes it when a figure is standing behind her. Startled, she jumps a little as she turns around.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you,” He mumbles as he steps closer to the window to stand next to her and they look out of the window together. It’s romantic, she thinks, with the backdrop of the city, especially at night.

Looking over to Dean again, she notices him holding a velvet box in his hand and smirks, “Is that a ring, loverboy?”

Dean sends her a look accompanied by a little frown. Something that says, I have heard it but I won’t say anything because it’s stupid. Well, he might not be wrong.

“Sorry,” She breathes out, “I told you I tend to babble when I’m nervous,”

He sighs and lifts his eyebrow before he opens up the box and it is as if the air has been punched out of her lungs.

“Wow,”

The ring is absolutely beautiful.

Dean smirks and clears his throat before he speaks, “It used to be my mother’s,”

It wasn’t like all the engagement rings Y/N’s seen that the rich and famous women are wearing nowadays. This one is modest, might even be boring and too normal compared to those. The ring has a bigger round diamond in the middle, with two smaller accompanying stones on its side. It’s a gold color ring too, not white gold like they usually are. It looks special and it looks like it has more sentimental value around it than monetary value. Maybe that’s also why she thinks it’s so precious.

“Dean, I can’t possibly wear this ring,” She says, but his hand already goes to her left one, grabbing it and holding it up to slip the ring on her finger.

He pauses to look at the ring, smiles as he sees how it fits. How did it fit anyway? How is that even possible?

“I was right with the measurement,” Dean chuckles and she thinks that he wants to turn away, but he’s still standing here holding her hand, “I want you to wear it whenever you’re with me, okay?”

She can not do anything else but nod.

“I proposed to you on this rooftop, overlooking the city,” He says and it takes her a while to realize that he’s talking about his proposal story that he’s suggesting.

“Right,” She bites her lips and looks down to the ring briefly before she looks up to meet his eyes again. They are glistening a little, and there’s a hint of a smirk on his face. Right here by the window, his freckles are prominent on his face.

Y/N’s distracted, feels the urge to count them.

“We were alone and we just had a meal. It was a warm summer night and we took our desserts on the terrace,”

She can picture it clearly and her heart starts to beat faster.

“I didn’t prepare a speech,” Dean clears his throat, and adds, “And the things I said weren’t particularly romantic,”

“It didn’t matter, because I know that you feel more comfortable showing your actions rather than using your words,” She chimes in, “There’s no romance needed, no sappy words, because you already show me enough how much you love me,”

There’s a sparkle in his eyes after she said it. Somehow she thinks it’s fondness, but then something changes and he avoids her eyes. Instead, he looks down to the hand that’s still holding hers. His cheeks are tinted pink. It’s totally cute how embarrassed he gets.

“So,” Dean swallows, “The contract says that we don’t touch each other more than necessary, especially not in private. But since my dad will be here, we will probably need to keep up the illusion, don’t you think?”

“Dean, the only one who seems to be uneasy and flinches at my touches is you,”

The pink in his cheeks rises up to his ears, “Yeah, I’ll try to change, okay?”

“I want you to feel comfortable. And please know that you touching me doesn’t bother me. I’m not disgusted or disturbed by it, okay?”

He nods, “I’m not—” He starts, but stops to exhale, and then he tries again, “I’m not disgusted by your touches, I just need to relax, I guess,”

“What would help you relax?” She asks and she means it. Maybe she can help.

“It would help if I knew that I didn’t pay you,” He chuckles drily, “Dad will be here soon so let’s get this over with,” He pulls her along to the door and her grip tightens around his hand.

She’s so fucking nervous.

“What if he hates me?” She whispers just before they reach the door and Dean turns around, places a hand where her shoulder meets her neck.

“My father wouldn’t like you even if it was real. He has high standards,”

“That’s fucking reassuring, thanks,”

Dean chuckles, “It doesn’t matter what he thinks, okay?” He rubs along her arm with his other hand, “Can you pretend to love me for a while, Y/N?”

“It depends,” She says with a shrug and his eyes widen. She smirks then to ease the situation because he obviously doesn’t get the joke. “Can you pretend that I’m the only thing that keeps you going? Pretend that I’m your first thought when you wake up and the last before you fall asleep, Dean? It’s more challenging for you with the array of women you’ve dated,”

He smiles crookedly, and there’s that glint in his eyes again, “Oh, sweetheart, I’m not worried about my end of the bargain,”

Her face feels hot all of a sudden but she frowns after she catches herself, “Of course you’re not because you have nothing to lose,”

The frown on Dean’s face matches hers from before, “What are you talking about?”

“Yeah well, if I screw this up, I will lose my job and a steady income but you?” She pokes at his chest with her index finger, “You, Mister, will probably get a lecture from your dad, but you’ll be back to dating super rich women and beautiful models, and you can go on with your life as if nothing happened.”

Dean chuckles and he looks kind of amused? Which is not fair at all when she’s all worked up.

He pushes both his hands into his pants pockets, balances back and forth on his heels before he leans down to be on her level, brings down the air with him and she can smell his cologne. It’s intoxicating.

“Tell you what,” Dean smirks, “If this blows up because of me, if they should see through me or if anyone should question my feelings for you, I’ll buy you an apartment and I’ll help you secure a job. I have connections. Somewhere where no one knows that you were being engaged to me. But,” He darts his tongue out, licks over his lips and she bites down on her own because she knows exactly how they feel, “If you make a mistake and it blows up because of you, sweetheart,” He makes a pause and stands back straight.

“I have nothing you’d want,” She shakes her head.

“There’s something,” He shrugs and he says it so easily too. She can’t help but frown in confusion.

“What?”

“If it blows up because of you, Y/N. If you fail to convince the world how much you love me,” He grins, and the grin grows cocky, “You’ll marry me,”

Ch. 07

Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

#legally yours #dean winchester #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester x you #dean x reader #dean x you #dean winchester fic #dean winchester fan fic #dean winchester fan fiction #nathalie writes

366 notes · View notes

aspoonofsugar · 4 years

Text

Red and Gray in a Black and White World

Carmen Sandiego likes playing with colors.

In particular, VILE is black, while ACME is white.

This is why Carmen’s codename is Black Sheep, which later becomes ironic when she grows to be VILE’s literal “black sheep” and their thorn in the side. At the same time, Shadowsan too has a codename suggesting something dark in color. Of course, his name also foreshadows that he is the one protecting Carmen from the shadows.

Similarly, the ACME’s agent closest to Carmen is Julia Argent aka “silver”. She is not completely “white” and she is able to see the complexity of the world, differently from Devinaux and Zari.

As a matter of fact the whole point is that Carmen refuses a black and white vision of things. She doesn’t want to join VILE, but she doesn’t want to be a part of ACME either:

She wants to use her “wicked skills” for good.

This is a fitting theme for a show whose aim is to help kids learn about geography and how rich Earth is. It conveys the idea of complexity.

In other words, Carmen explores the world and its wonders at her own pace and with her own rules. This is expressed by her color being “red”. Everything about her is red. Her codename, her clothes and even her adoptive family:

Similarly, Gray is another character, who is neither black nor white, but (obviously) gray (duh).

This is made clear in Chief’s speech above and his moral complexity is also what makes his dynamic with Carmen so interesting.

“GRAY” AND “BLACK SHEEP”: NOT MY NAME ANYMORE

Carmen and Gray’s relationship is one of mutual attraction (platonic or romantic does not matter), but also of conflict.

They want the other by their side:

But they can’t agree on which side they should both be:

This is because they both refuse a part of the other. This refusal is well expressed through the name symbolism of both characters.

On one hand Gray keeps calling Carmen Black Sheep:

He refuses her new identity because he does not understand it:

On the other hand Carmen refuses Gray’s VILE persona, but also his civilian one.

This is interesting because her refusal of “Crackle” is something Carmen does willingly:

She does not genuinely understand it, just like Gray does not understand her being Carmen Sandiego.

At the same time, though, Carmen somehow also refuses Gray’s civilian identity and keeps calling him Gray instead of Graham:

Even if the brainwashing makes their friendship easier, Carmen still feels something is amiss. The person in front of her is not really “Gray”, but somehow a “white” version of him. It is not by chance that she is able to partially rebuild their past relationship by involving him in a dangerous mission:

And in this mission Carmen needs Gray’s “wicked skills” that are still a part of him. She becomes Gray’s link to his previous world:

Just like he is the one who symbolically introduces her to what truly means to be a criminal:

And to its harsher aspects:

At the same time, it is interesting that when brainwashed Carmen still refuses the codename Crackle:

And she only uses it when she thinks he has betrayed her:

In that moment it is as if Gray truly became “black” for her and changed from her partner in crime to an enemy.

In short, both characters can’t truly pintpoint who the other really is.

Who is Carmen really? And is Gray good or bad?

The answers to these questions are difficult because Carmen and Gray themselves are not sure until the end of the series.

THE MISSING MATRIOSKA AND BROKEN LIGHTS

Carmen does not know who she is, while Gray is caught up between his wish to be a criminal and his empathic side.

These internal conflicts are well conveyed through specific motifs linked to the two characters.

Firstly, Carmen’s journey of self-discovery is commented by the burnt matrioskas motif:

The matrioskas are what links Carmen to her biological family. They’re the only things she has had since she was born and it is later revealed they’re a toy her father used to calm her down.

At the same time, the matrioskas symbolize Carmen herself. Like her “oldest traveling companions”, she too is made of multiple identities who live inside her and change as she grows. She starts as Lambkins, grows into Carmen Sandiego and finally discovers her identity in the finale:

Both in terms of her origins and who she wants to be:

The missing matrioska represents both. On one hand it is the link to Carmen’s past and it is symbolically the smallest one (like a baby). On the other hand seeing it makes Carmen remember who she wants to be.

In short, the matrioska is Carmen’s missing piece both when it comes to who she was and to who she will be.

As far as Gray is concerned, him being caught between “light” and “darkness” is conveyed by his electrician’s motif:

Gray’s criminal career started when a light bulb went off. This is an ironic inversion of a light bulb switching on when one has an idea. Still, it also symbolizes a fall to darkness. Gray’s job was supposed to switch lights on, but he chooses to turn them off, so that he can steal.

This motif comes back in season 2 ep 7 where Carmen’s mission is to stop Doctor Bellum from causing dangerous black-outs. This is tied once again to Gray’s character. As a matter of fact not only the objective is to avoid physical blackouts, but also to stop Graham turning back into Crackle once again. The blackout which must be avoided is the one of Gray’s personality.

At the same time, this motif is not as straightforward as it may seem:

As a matter of fact the whole reason Gray has turned into Graham is a metaphorical “black-out”. This is an interesting idea. Gray has left criminality and can have a new beginning and Carmen sees it as a positive thing. However, this whole new identity is a lie built through brainwashing:

Carmen has good intentions and is ultimately proven right about Gray’s good nature. However, she is still ready to accept a persona constructed through an unethical method.

She meets an idealized version of Gray, she realizes something is missing, but still accepts it. This is why she needs to see this illusion shatter and to confront the real Gray once more.

This happens when Gray gets his memories back:

The one on the Himalaya is the second real confrontation between Carmen and Gray after the one on the train.

At this point, we are shown how they have changed and how they have not.

On one hand Carmen is finally forced to accept that Graham was nothing, but an illusion:

However, she does not completely give up on Gray:

Even if confronted with the truth she still hopes Gray will change. It is just that this change to be true should happen because of her friend’s free will and not through a coercion.

On the other hand Gray has grown enough to accept Carmen:

And to realize she will never come back to VILE. However, he still begs her to stop fighting the organization. In short, he has grown a little, but is still asking Carmen to give up on her life mission, just like she wants him to give up on criminality.

The two characters have clearly grown closer, but they are still unable to see eye to eye and this is why they end the episode as enemies, despite this:

There is clearly affection between them, but this affection is not enough to let them overcome their rift. At least not in that moment.

THE FLYING DUTCH AND THE RED PHANTOM

In season 4 ep 4, while Gray is about to make his choice, we hear a song from The Flying Dutch in the background. This is not a surprise because Graham and Carmen’s relationship has also an Opera motif.

Graham works in a operahouse and famous operas pieces comment his relationship with Carmen while brainwashed. They meet at The Carmen, are reunited through The Swan Lake and finally Graham turns into Crackle again while The Flying Dutch is playing.

This last opera is important not only for Graham’s story, but also for Gray’s overall arc. As a matter of fact the story of this opera is one whose main theme is about how love leads to redemption.

This is precisely what happens to Gray in the end.

In particular, he finds himself in the position Carmen was just a while before: he meets an idealized version of Carmen.

Brainwashed Carmen is who Gray has wanted Carmen to be all along. She is loyal to VILE, close to him and in love with stealing.

However, despite Gray having all he ever wanted he quickly realizes he does not like it at all:

Black Sheep realizes she does not want anything to do with VILE after she sees how the organization has transformed Gray.

Similarly, Gray decides to betray VILE after he sees what they did to Carmen. This is interesting because, while Carmen refuses to work both for VILE and for ACME, Gray ends up working for both.

Anyway, in the end Gray leaves VILE out of love.

Not only that, but he shows to have been influenced by Carmen on a deeper level:

It is because of this that Gray survives his final confrontation with his old classmate.

All in all, Gray manages to save himself and he and Shadowsan are the two people that helped Carmen to save herself the most.

At the same time, Gray and Carmen’s story ends on a bittersweet note. They have both hurted each other, but still clearly love each other:

Despite this, they are avoiding each other. This is not something new, if anything Gray’s final choice:

Perfectly mirrors Carmen’s one in the first season:

Both times the two characters decide that the best thing for the other is for them to walk out from their lives. However, I think that both times this is wrong.

Carmen’s decision is later on proven wrong by how the story develops. Gray would have never truly changed if Carmen had not walked in his life again and he would have stayed prisoner of a lie forever.

Gray’s decision happens at the end of the story and seems to be built on this idea:

The idea is that Carmen deserves a normal life. She deserves to stop being a symbol aka Carmen Sandiego and to become a person. She can now live a normal life and meet her mother.

However, even if it seems Carmen will do just that and she even disbands her gang aka her adoptive family, in the end we are shown this:

Carmen has not given up on being Carmen Sandiego and on fighting criminality. Whatever happened after she met her mother, she goes back to her previous identity. This is because Carmen Sandiego is not just a mask she has worn all this time, but it is genuinelly a part of who she is. The difference between the beginning and the end is that Carmen previously was Carmen Sandiego because she did not know who she was, while now she is because she knows.

Carmen will always be both a good person and a thief. She is both and ironically she has told us (and Gray) this since the very beginning:

Because of this, Gray’s worrying he will make Carmen’s life complicated if he even just contacts her is probably false.

Anyway, in the end their relationship has an open ending, but both characters have both realized who they are and who they want to be and they have done so with the other’s help.

#carmen sandiego #carmen sandiego meta #gray calloway #gray x carmen #red crackle #my meta

387 notes · View notes

ahmedmootaz · 8 months

Note

Since you respond here quicker than ao3 and had to look up what was my question, why won't X give himself a new name post-tMFoA? I can get the explanation with Hope. (And had X had been named Hope in au, I really would’ve think Angela would scoff at the reminder from Hope the person, with the seed of light being grown by blood and suffering)

But this is actually me segue on what will X and Angela would name BH? Would it be the same as Ayin, since one is a clone and the other is his creation? (Weirdass family tree there) or one or both of them have better naming sense than him?

What about Carmen anyways, how's her naming skill? And why not throw The Distortion, I guess. Because who names them, the distorted themselves? TD? the patron librarian (and lcb sinners)?

I was mostly thinking X and Angela adopting BH post-AiP (but an au of X being part of Library founding would be neat in a different ask) but wasn’t sure how far BH is cause Angela in her bad end has ridiculously long hair, versus LoR's short hair. Cause X's fate is nebulous if he wants to live long, or died from the battle or from clone degradation.

So potentially we could have Angela adopting BH with fond memories of X, X lived long enough to love and care for BH but still cut short anyways, or none of those two and I'll finally get X/Angela slowburn.

Dear astrocouriers,

Good questions all around! And quite the complex and interesting ones too, although I hope you'll forgive me for not replying too quickly, even though it was quicker than the time it would've taken on AO3, ahah.

Essentially, my personal reasoning for why X wouldn't change his name is that whatever he would choose wouldn't be him anymore. Being "Hope" or "Ayin 2" or any other name simply wouldn't have had the relevancy to him that X does; simply changing his name would be too easy after everything he went through, in a way. There would be no struggle in just deciding to be "Hope" from now on, but it simply isn't who he was. He was never the hope that the Corporation's denizens needed, and he wouldn't stand up to Ayin's legacy and power, he was simply an unknown factor in an otherwise perfectly planned equation. An 'X' factor, if you will.

Hence, X's name to him signifies that battle that he had to endure. It signifies that he was simply a variable that had no real purpose beyond his assigned role, a failed clone with little abilities compared to his original version and with a far meeker attitude, unimportant enough to the grand scheme of everything and everyone that he wasn't even given a proper name.

But more than just that, it especially signifies that he survived. In spite of all of these hurdles, in spite of being a faceless, nameless clone with a singular task and no grand purpose after it, in spite of being intended to simply die after his purpose was complete, he not only lived, but he carved himself into a person. The name X, then, is a proof that he survived everything that was thrown at him and gave a meaning to a nameless, faceless clone, just as Ayin gave meaning to the hollow word that 'promise' is in the City when he promised Carmen and went through the unimaginable for her.

As a last note, I think X wouldn't like discarding his name because, despite all of the negative memories associated with it, it's the name he came to recognise for himself as well. For all of the pain it holds, it holds a lot of happiness and relief as well, a constant reminder that regardless of how bleak it is, he can make it out again, just as he made it in the Corporation after countless (mostly forgotten) restarts to the Script.

As for your second question, hmmm...I think Angela would have great difficulty finding names, and honestly, so would X, seeing how both of them are either close to Ayin's method of thinking in X's case and straight-up Ayin's daughter in Angela's case, which means both of their creative skills are likely a...dud, to say the least. Still, I reckon that eventually they can settle on something that they'd find from their books, such as Aqua because X is a sentimental fool and the name reminds him of Angela's hair (plus the name is semi-neutral so whether or not the BH is a boy or a girl it'd work). But yeah, if the other Librarians were around, they'd likely be the ones to find a suitable name while Angela and X argue together about how weird/not weird their relationship/family tree is.

As for Carmen, considering she's the exact opposite of Ayin, I'd say her naming skills are vastly superior, and that she/The Distortion is likely the one that picks Distortion names, seeing how most Distortions aren't exactly conscious enough to pick their own names. If we go by the theory that Abnormality names were also spawned from Carmen's subconscious/Bucket, then she seems to have quite the palette of names to choose from, definitely something she'd be sad she couldn't transfer to her daughter, hehe.

If I recall correctly, Angela's bad ending occurs some thirteen years after Roland's defeat, so in such a scenario, I think X would definitely choose Angela repairing his wounds and degradation so he could not only live with her, but with the BH. I think X isn't averse to living a long life, actually, but I also think he would wish to die at some point. He's evaded Death long enough now, and even if he decides to grow old with Angela by his side, he has to pay his due one day, and he'd like to come to terms with it on his own instead of being forcefully evicted out of his mortal coil.

In other words, yes, I think that if Angela and X adopt the BH, you'll finally get your Angela/X slowburn, kehehe.

Once again, thank you for the insightful and fun ask, astrocourier! I hope to see you again soon! Be well, stay safe, and see ya'!

#lobotomy corporation #library of ruina #my writing #ayin #manager x #angela #ask #library of ruina spoilers

9 notes · View notes

silkhy-john · 3 years

Text

HEADCANON:

A smaller one this time, cause bebby needs sleep guys (I'll probably just play Radical Red instead of sleeping though lolllllll)

Anyway, I HC that Nico does a lot of quests, way more than the number any of the seven have done.

A good number are normally requests from his father, Demeter, and Persephone, stuff like helping the cthonic gods, or helping Triptolemus and his pursuits (Trip and Nico got past the corn thing. They binge Carmen San Diego after work and discuss stuff), or looking for a rare-ass flower to add to the underworld garden with all relevant sources as very dangerous creatures.

Some are from Chiron, I wrote a piece about one of those, you can ask for the link of you're interested. He doesn't really like the Chiron ones, because it's usually a quest that's too complex for even the seasoned camper's kit, or is an odd quest that relies on the aspects of his powers that Nico isn't completely comfortable with.

The last category is quests that Nico takes up out of the goodness of his own heart (which he insists to anyone who so much as suggests that said goodness exists is "cold and dead").

Nico has made himself a reputation as a helpful individual, and many minor gods reach out to him, basically. It's gotten to the point that the combination of the Persephone/Hades quests + his general reputation as helpful has made him actively interact with MANY other pantheons. He and Walt are good friends, and he helps Anubis get a grasp on powers over death and the limits of the human body.

Whenever he helps the minor gods, they impart blessings on him without his knowledge (boons for my Hades fans out there. Yes, I think Zag and Nico are very similar. Yes, I think they'd be very good friends. Hades (from Hades) would probably tell Zagreus to be "more like that Pluto-Boy" (yes, Hades knows Nico is a son of Hades, but he says Pluto for the distinction)).

The blessings definitely boost Nico's status from most powerful demigod to something closer to a minor god who can die. Zeus isn't comfortable with this. This is sorta like the plot to The Second Life on ao3. Go read that, real good jasercico with Apollico on the side.

Jason uses Nico's acquaintance with minor gods to get help knowing who to build shrines to.

The reason Chiron sends Nico on the most dangerous quests alone (at Nico's request). Nico catches on to how strange it is that he's the only exception the biggest camp rule: absolutely no questing alone. Confronting Chiron about it finally makes him aware of the many blessings he's been given. He becomes more powerful for it, being able to incorporate small aspects of other gods powers to his own. Zeus doesn't like it.

Cupid definitely asks Nico to be his champion. Nico declines.

He also does quests in record time and is a better "quest library/advisor" than Annabeth, simply for the fact that he has more experience than her or anyone else and has interacted with more of the mythos than anyone else. Athena considered offering him a mantle as one of her champions... but she decided not to ask.

And uhhhh.... yeah. That's it for the actual HC. Shitpost time.

Perspehone: Nico, could you get me something?

Nico: what?

Persephone: Lively daylight, the sister-flower to deadly nightshade

Nico: lemme guess, I'll have to go to Eos for this *groans*

Eos: don't start complaining yet, there's sphinges involved

(Sphinges is the plural of sphinx)

(Demeter, Hades, and Persephone are discussing Nico like a good and healthy parental unit. This is definitely not gossip or gloating).

Hades [proudly]: Nico has been looking really healthy lately. I believe all the travelling's helping.

Demeter [conspirationally]: the farm has helped him put on weight and muscle. You should see the way the Ares boys eye him up and the fantasies the Aphrodite and Hermes kids cook up when they get together. And for what? The boy doesn't look in mirrors

Persephone [feeling a bit left out]: he can make a mean cup of tea

Hades and Demeter [simultaneously]: *exchange look* *twin doting faces at persephone*

Iris: I just need someone who won't get trapped and turned into a guinea pig to deliver these for me... you've cross-dressed before, right?

Nico: once. It was literally just once because I was helping Butch–

Iris: yes, yes, so about the cupcakes...

(Butch was fitting skirts for purposes unknown to the shitposter. Something something Jake Mason something something I ship it).

Chiron: I hope this email finds you we–

Nico: I don't like it when the first thing people do is lie to me :/

Chiron [embarrassed]: *clears throat* it's leukrokottai and a single succubus

Nico: cool *face-plants into nearest shadow*

Sadie [puts down burger]: and the goddess in my mind was extremely manipulative and her plans almost fell apart

Isis: *indignant spluttering*

Nico [sipping choccy milk]: yep. Sounds a lot like a certain goat skin gal I know, except she prefers cows to birds

Hera: boy, I will smack you into next century

Hades, Demeter, Persephone [in sync]: *glare meaningfully*

Hera [teeth gritted]: and by that I'll ask Hebe if she can get you to see the next 100 years without being trample by cows

Cupid: so yeah, could you be my champion?

Nico: we've moved the incident, but not that far past it. No.

Hades: *smug*

Athena: I was gonna ask, but I like to avoid embarrassment and the answer no.

And that's it. I wasn't planning to do the shitpost part since I actually want to write something for this idea? So yeah, deuces.

These tags are wild, wild, wild. I didn't need to tag like that LOLLLL. Anyway.

152 notes · View notes

parrishh · 3 years

Text

about to write the world's longest post (a review? maybe?) because i don't know anyone else who has read mister impossible yet and if i do not write my thoughts down SOMEWHERE i will either combust or eat my own foot, probably (spoilers, obviously)

genuinely brokenhearted (and cried a lot) over ronan in this book. part of what i loved so much about cdth was the sense that ronan had at least made some progress in regards to his mental health, self-love, etc. and now we're seeing him in such a dark place again that it hurts to read. it was sad enough believing, for almost the entire book, that he was blindly idolizing bryde for this reason (declan's "ronan is a follower" speech in the cafe with carmen actually killed me), and i thought maggie was just going for the whole "unhappy people are more susceptible to cults" thing. but to find out that he MADE bryde? that he felt so alone and so hopeless that he dreamt THAT? this read like some sort of super-villain origin story. i know ronan believes he's doing the right thing, saving dreamers and dreams and all that, but at the core of it all he's really doing it because bryde told him to, and bryde only exists because ronan subconsciously hates his life so much he'll do whatever it takes to make himself a new one. that just makes me incredibly sad

uhhhhhhhh bad day for pynch stans. we didn't technically get the dreaded break up, but it feels like we did anyway. even the sweet moments (e.g. ronan's memory of adam's gloves) are immediately followed up by something sad (e.g. the memory not being enough to keep ronan from sticking with bryde) (also, fletcher tells the moderators that they're broken up, so does that mean adam told all his college friends he's single?) there are several moments in which ronan makes it very clear that he will (and does) prioritize what he's doing with bryde over his relationship with adam (hanging up on him at the end? what the fuck) and like, i'm definitely not saying his boyfriend should be the #1 most important thing in his life because that's not healthy, either, but the dude is clearly very unhappy & insecure in the relationship. i still think (hope?) that they'll get a happy ending because ronan definitely cares about adam deeply (not wanting bryde to say the word tamquam, keeping adam out of his dreamspace so he doesn't lose harvard, etc.) but things are looking pretty grim right now :/

adam loves ronan so much it makes me crazy. he could easily say "fuck this" after ronan doesn't speak to him for weeks, especially knowing that ronan's capable of reaching out because he still talks to declan and especially after being blocked from ronan's dreamspace, too. i would be pissed if i heard from my bf for the first time in weeks and found out he only called because he needed a place where he & the guy he ditched me for could crash. but adam still spends the free time i'm sure he doesn't actually have keeping tabs on ronan and reaching out to declan and pretty much doing everything in his power to help. and oh my god even after ronan hangs up on him we still see him scrying to try to get to him and i need to move on now before i scream (but first, declan lynch = #1 pynch stan??? the number of times he mentions adam when thinking about the things he wants ronan to keep safe, help me)

speaking of adam, i had to put the book down and take a lap after his first appearance. i cannot believe this boy is charging harvard kids for fake tarot readings and making hella cash off of it. KING. genuinely some fantastic adam content in this. i love that he talks to the gray man. i love that we are reminded that he's literally brilliant. but also, he makes me sad, too. when declan mentions how ronan is the ONE person who adam opens up to and how all of his harvard groupies are just "ducklings"........honey, i love you, please, please, please make some real friends

hennessy's pov also breaks my heart. it's maybe even worse to read than ronan's because she's fully aware of how unhappy she is and the bluntness of it slaps you across the face. the memory of her mom's painting was genuinely chilling (the lace pattern on the floor - was that how the Lace started? am i understanding that correctly?) and the fact that it was so dreadful she accidentally made a sweetmetal....poor hennessy :( also, the things she said to jordan, right after she made half a dozen real ass people crash their cars and didn't even bat an eye about it....yikes. i'm glad she teamed up with carmen and liliana, though. i love my team of wlw girlies (also really interesting that carmen/liliana believe the Lace is something out of hennessy's control while ronan/bryde believe it's something she can get rid of if she just tries hard enough. what the fuck is the Lace, it's driving me nuts)

CARLIANA KISS CARLIANA KISS CARLIANA KISS

jordan's pov!!!!!!! delicious, finally some good fucking food!!!!!!! i'm happy that she's starting to see herself as her own person, independent of hennessy, and the whole forgery/original work metaphor was really cool (her first original work being a portrait of declan 🥺🥺🥺) i loooooove her relationship with matthew and how she speaks to him and that they're able to connect with each other because they're both dreams. i love that she's able to make him feel more human

JORDECLAN KISS JORDECLAN KISS JORDECLAN KISS (but i'm even more hung up on declan just casually talking about MARRIAGE, oh my GOD)

declan my beloved....my sweet......absolutely obsessed with him saying "screw politics, i'm leaning into my crime side" and OBSESSED with him being happy for once. i know the other shoe did drop and now things are all messed up again but it was so nice to see him so content, at least for a little while. he needed a break (also was laughing my ass off at all of ronan's dream creatures just climbing onto his bed in the morning and his screaming and how matthew was so used to it he BRUSHED HIS TEETH before going to help. iconic)

matthew's pov was also really upsetting but 🥺him deciding he's tired of just being treated like a pet and that he deserves to have a future so he goes to sign himself up to finish high school 🥺

quick note but the whole sweetmetal thing is really interesting as a concept. loooooved the way maggie incorporated the gardner museum heist into the story

THE ENDING???? WHY THE FUCK IS JORDAN AWAKE. WHY THE FUCK IS RONAN STILL ASLEEP. WAS ADAM STILL IN THE MIDDLE OF SCRYING WHEN THE LEY LINE DISAPPEARED, AND, IF SO, WHAT DOES THAT MEAN FOR HIM. WHY ARE LITERALLY ALL THE MODERATORS DREAMS. WHAT IS HAPPENING

#this is a literal essay god help me #actual word vomit #this book is going to haunt me for the next year and a half i don't know what to do #mister impossible #mi spoilers #mister impossible spoilers #wrambles #tdt

84 notes · View notes

mengyan · 4 years

Text

HEY CARMEN AND JULIA STANS MAKE SOME MORE NOISE

sooo duane asked if we had any more questions and we submitted some! here are his responses!

1) julia (from our server) wants to know if the interactive timeline is canon?

Hi again! 1) happy to answer for everyone. I don't consider it "canon" as far as our continuity/timeline go (though please don't misconstrue that as a negative -- I love the IA special, it's so much fun! But we approached it as a "what if" type episode, so we could take full advantage of the format and do fantasy sequences, musical numbers etc...)

1, continued: Here is my reasoning. a) with the various forks, there's no way any one thread could be canon -- how would we know? b) we did Vile "brain wiping" here in the style of fun horror movie endings; we of course revisited the idea more dramatically at end of S4. c) note that Shadowsan & Chase are absent from the storyline! We were producing the IA special parallel with S2, and had no idea whether Netflix would premiere it between S1 & S2, or after S2. SS & Chase are the two characters who had major spoilers attached (SS from bad to good; Chase unconscious in the hospital). So we removed them to avoid any timeline bumps in the event Netflix chose to premiere it after S1. In retrospect, it would have been fun to add SS & Chase to the Rockapella song, but since they weren't in the story earlier it seemed odd. We went back and forth on that. One down, 4 to go!

2) in general- does carmen ever find out that julia is the one who found her mother? julia played such a large part in helping to resolve carmen’s story, so we wanted to know if carmen knew that she did that for her?

great observation! I absolutely think Carmen knows: it's suggested in the hospital scene that Chief is in touch with Carmen ("shall I pass along your info?"). To have explained that Carmen knows Gray's okay, or that Julia is the one who found her mother, would have been great; but a) would have slowed the pace of our multiple epilogues so we figured the audience knows both those things so can construe that Carmen does (or will eventually ;-). b) except for the Pilot, we were limited to 22 minutes per episode precisely. We made the exception for the finale which is 2 minutes longer to get everything in. It's a balancing act to keep things tight but also let moments breathe. I'm sure you'll agree that we pack a LOT into each episode! There wasn't room for more in 408, but also I think it would have dragged the pacing to add more talk to the wrap up scenes.

3) nina wants to make carmen fanart stickers and put them on redbubble- is there a copyright policy against that? is she allowed to do so?

Hi Nina! I am not sure about that, it's outside my area: I can ask the "powers that be" if you would like? But be forewarned they may just say no because it's less complicated that way. My own common sense tells me that if you were making stickers of our copyrighted images from the show, that would be a problem. But stickers of your own art maybe not? But I really can't answer with certainty.

4) how did carmen end up trusting julia again after stockholm? the look of betrayal at the end kind of made it seem that it would take some reconciliation, but carmen seemed fine in season 3. we all have our own theories, but do you have any opinions on it?

reading this question scared me and I had to check the episode again! Phew. Carmen feeling betrayed by Julia was not the intention here at the end (in the beginning when ACME storms in, of course) -- but I think Carmen's been through too much to hold this against Julia. Carmen DOES shoot Chief some very poisonous glares through this sequence, but when she finally looks at Julia I think she's just weak. The pained look on J's face is so heartbreaking! But now that you point this out, it might have been a good idea to end the scene on Carmen softening toward J or simply looking vulnerable, rather than on J's heartbreak. I do think J is just feeling horrible seeing her hero in such a fallen state, rather than reacting to Carmen's glare. I think this moment is such a big reason why J resigns in S3: she can't bear to do something like this to Carmen again.

5) you mentioned something about julia being captivated (?) by carmen as well, but it kept cutting out so all we caught was the word “captivated” 🤣 do you mind expanding on that?

I think I noted that Julia was clearly captivated by Carmen -- on the train of course, as their conversation continues. Though really I think J's just happy to be talking to someone who takes an interest in history and culture unlike Chase (though ironically Carmen is of course kind of "using" Julia here to scout for Paperstar -- a lot of layers LOL, but this is the beginning of J and Carmen working together without literally working together. Which to me makes them super-connected and relating on heightened intuition). But then I also said that Julia was clearly captivated by Carmen the very first time she saw her hang-gliding away in Poitiers ;-)

final message:

Thanks for all the thoughtful questions and again, for being so engaged and passionate about our show! I love these characters as much as you do and hope we get the opportunity to expand Carmen's world and continue the ongoing story of everyone involved. But if we don't, I think it's a perfect series as is, that will stand the test of time. Fingers crossed and keep putting positive vibes out there. I am not privy to how large our fan base is, but it's clearly passionate so hopefully the powers that be will continue to notice. Have a good weekend, everyone!

screenshots under the cut!

#carulia #julethief #carmen x julia #WE’VE BEEN SOBBING ON VC FOR AN HOUR #duane is such a king god he’s the BEST

131 notes · View notes

diegos-butt · 3 years

Text

Electricity Chapter 2

Summary: For the first time in her life, Melody Williams is moving out of her hometown to Minnesota where she got a job as a crime journalist for the Minnesota Daily. But this city does not only have a new job for her to offer. What will happen when she crosses paths with detective Walter Marshall? Heads up, a little electricity is involved ✨

Walter Marshall x Melody Williams (Curvy OFC)

Warnings: alcohol, we’re going out people

Wordcount: 2.9k

A/N: chapter 2 here we go! Hope you enjoy 😘

Chapter 1

•••

“Mel you have to come!” Gia said while jumping up and down. “You have been here for over a week, and not once we have gotten a drink. I need to know what you’re like drunk.”

“I absolutely agree with her,” Carmen said, grabbing her purse. The three of us were still in the office, everyone else had already left. It was Friday, 6pm, and they wanted to get drinks after a long week of work.

“Alright, alright! I’m coming with you guys!” I laughed as we walked towards the elevator.

“Good, because the bar will probably be packed with detectives since they closed that difficult case today. Sometimes they go out and celebrate afterwards,” Gia babbled, “I hope the hot ones will be there tonight. It has been way too long since I had a good shag,” she said mischievously while playing with a strand of her pink hair.

We stepped in the elevator while Gia and Carmen decided we all needed to hook up with a hot detective tonight. They were already getting excited and discussing horrible pick-up lines.

“I think I should let you guys know, I am terrible at flirting,” I say. “I just start to make stupid jokes no one but me finds funny and I get so awkward.” The elevator has reached the ground floor, and as we stepped out, I noticed it was already getting dark outside.

“It’s a good thing you are going with us, because we are masters at flirting, aren’t we Carmen?” Gia said as she nudged Carmen in her side with a spark in her eyes. Next thing I knew she ran towards the door that led to the parking garage.

“Carmen, I’m coming with you. I need something to wear and tonight I’m borrowing that cute little black dress you bought the other day,” Gia yelled.

Carmen and I looked at each other and laughed as we followed her into the parking garage. As we walked to our cars, we decided that I should go home and change before going to Carmen’s place where we would order some take out.

I went home and quickly freshened up. I decided to wear a pair of black jeans with a dark green satin blouse. I completed the outfit with my black leather jacket and white chunky sneakers. I reapplied my make-up and added some glittery eyeshadow. Once I was ready, I grabbed a bottle of wine and drove to Carmen’s house.

We ordered pizza and had a few glasses of wine. Unfortunately for me, they became noisy after a few glasses of wine.

“So, tell us about that guy you met at the supermarket Mel. We need to know everything and so far we haven’t heard enough details!” Carmen said with a big smile.

“Yes, yes, yes! Tell us!” Gia yelled as she jumped up to grab another bottle of wine.

“Alright, alright! So, I had forgotten to buy groceries and realized that like half an hour before the store would close. I jumped in my car and drove there. It was late so there were just a few people inside,” I told them as I got into a more comfortable seating position.

“I grabbed the stuff I needed, but I remembered I needed some cereal. I walked to that aisle, it was empty, but I had had a long day and I was so tired I just stood there staring at all the boxes. Completely zoned out for a moment. I finally regained my conscious and wanted to grab a box, but at the same time someone else grabbed the exact same box.”

“You didn’t even know someone was behind you?!” Carmen yelled while her eyes nearly popped out. “I just met you, but I already know it is impossible to sneak up on you.”

“No! I was completely zoned out there! And when I turned around, I bumped into him and I dropped the apples I was carrying,” I said while I hid my face behind my hands. “But then, I got to take a good look of him. And I swear, he is the most beautiful man I have ever seen.”

“We need more details girl. Way more,” Gia said while shoving the last piece of pizza in her mouth.

“Well, first of all he is so tall. And he is big and muscular. He made me feel small, and that doesn’t happen very often,” I explained and took a sip of my wine. “Besides that, he had gorgeous blue eyes and brown curls. I seriously had to slap my hand away so I wouldn’t touch the curls.”

“That might’ve come across a little weird,” Carmen chuckled.

“Just a little? I would have to move again! It would be that humiliating,” I laughed. “Anyways, then he picked up the apples and handed them back to me, but me being my clumsy self, I almost dropped them again if it wasn’t for him. He grabbed my elbow to prevent that. Oh God it was so awkward.”

“Tell me you at least spoke with him?” Gia asked.

“I obviously thanked him and we exchanged a few words. Nothing really interesting though. Well, then he said he needed to go and started to walk away.” I took a deep breath and continued. “Of course, I had to say something to embarrass myself.”

They looked at me waiting for me to continue.

“I said, and I quote, ‘see you around?’. I swear I could hit myself in the face once that popped out of my mouth.”

“What did he say?!” Gia and Carmen both yelled at me.

“He said, and again I quote, ‘I hope so’.”

“Girl, I am proud of you. He’s clearly into you,” Gia said while she raised her wine glass.

“I’ve met this man once Gia, and we barely spoke. It is practically impossible to know if that’s true. Besides, while I was driving home, I remembered I forgot to do something.” I added.

“What did you forget? To check him out properly? Because I think you checked him out pretty well,” Carmen gave me a wink.

“I forgot to ask his name, so it is impossible to track him down ever again. There are so many people in this city,” I murmured.

Apparently not so impossible I thought as Gia, Carmen and I walked through the doors of the bar. He was hard to miss. I recognized his massive shoulders and curls immediately. He stood there with some other men around a few standing tables. He had his back towards me, but I knew for sure it was him. I believe he even wore the same sweater. Or he has multiple of those.

“Look, that booth is still free,” Carmen said. “Go sit, I’ll grab us some drinks!”

The bar was packed and some rock music blared through the speakers.

Gia and I walked through the busy crowd and sat down in the booth. I made sure I could still see him. From this position I could actually see his face, and it was indeed him.

“What are you looking at?” Gia noticed me staring. She turned around and scanned the crowd.

“Nothing. Just looking around,” I lied, but then I remembered I was a terrible liar. Oh no, I have to tell them. This is not going to end well.

“You’re obviously lying so spill it.” Gia narrowed her eyes.

“What is she lying about?” Carmen asked as she placed our drinks in front of us.

“Alright, don’t look but I think the guy from the supermarket is standing over there.”

“Where?!” They both turned around at the same time.

“I said don’t look around!” I hissed. I scooted over so I was leaning against the wall and took a big sip of my drink. “Oh wow, what did you give us?! This is actually pretty good,” I said while I felt my throat burning from the alcohol.

“That is an irrelevant question right now Mel and you know it. Is it that guy over there?” Carmen pointed at the standing tables. He had a beer in his hand and he laughed with the guy next to him.

“Sit down! Now! Don’t point, but yes that’s him.” I could feel my cheeks burning already.

Gia and Carmen sat down and sipped from their drinks.

“He is really handsome, but dear, you have no idea who he is? Really?” Carmen looked at me suspiciously.

“No, I don’t! Remember, I just moved here not too long ago,” I said.

Carmen and Gia looked at each other and laughed before Gia spoke. “First, as I predicted, there are some detectives here. Second, your guy over there, is one of them.”

Wait, what? Well that explains why I felt safe around him. And why is has such an authoritarian vibe. I looked over at him and noticed his glass was empty. No, no, no don’t get a new beer now. You have to walk past us and I am not ready for you to see me. Carmen and Gia saw the panic in my eyes and they looked over at his group.

Gia also noticed that they were all out of drinks. “Wait here.” She said before standing up and walking towards the bar. She came back in a few minutes with a tray full of shots.

“Follow me,” she instructed us and grabbed her own drink. Carmen got up and grabbed my arm, making me stand up.

“No, we are not going over there!” I protested but it was already too late. Gia placed the shots on the standing table and started talking to them. She waved at me and Carmen and gestured we had to come over.

“Come on, what could go wrong?” Carmen laughed. We grabbed our drinks and I looked at the ground while we walked towards them. When I looked up my eyes locked with his and I felt something familiar. I felt the same shot of electricity going through my spine as the one in the supermarket.

“These are my friends! We all work for the Minnesota Daily,” Gia said. “We heard you guys solved a case today, consider these shots as a thank you for protecting us from all those creeps out there.” She batted her eyelashes at the man next to her.

Everyone grabbed a shot and I couldn’t wait to have one myself honestly. Gia shouted a toast and we all took the shot. I might need 5 more of these. I was getting nervous from just being this close to him again and I had no idea what Gia or Carmen might do. They could easily embarrass me right now.

But they were already talking to some guys before anything embarrassing could happen. I looked around and felt a little uncomfortable and insecure between these guys. I always seem invisible to men, which is ironic since it is kinda hard not to see me. The friendly looking detective next to me seemed to sense my insecurities and started a conversation with me. I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding and answered his questions relieved.

We chatted for a couple of minutes when his boyfriend walked in and greeted him. I looked around for Gia and Carmen. Gia was still talking to the man next to her with a new drink in her hand. Where did she get another drink?

Before I could ask her, Carmen showed up with another tray of shots and a deck of cards. “Who knows a drinking game?” she shouted. The group answered by cheering and pointing at one of the guys.

“Make sure Walter needs to take some shots, he always finds a way out!” another one shouted. They all laughed and looked at the man from the supermarket.

“I play fair and square guys, I can’t help it I always win,” Walter says. His eyes lock with mine again and I quickly look away. Why can’t I just look at him? Why am I so awkward?! At least I know his name now. I thought while grabbing a shot and pouring it down my throat.

I should not have played this game. I gave all the wrong answers, so I had to take a few shots too many making me drunk. And drunk me? Well, drunk me gives even worse answers. I embarrassed myself so many times I thought the night couldn’t get any worse. I was wrong.

After the third tray of shots we ended the game. Most of us were drunk, especially Gia. She wobbled on her legs and had her arms wrapped around the guy next to her, John I learned.

A few guys started to leave, but Walter and the guy next to him, Liam, stayed. Carmen stood next to me, she looked at me with a smirk and walked towards them while dragging me along.

“Hi guys! So, tell us, what’s the weirdest case you’ve had?” she asked.

Liam starts telling a story, but I couldn’t focus. I stood next to Walter and I could smell the same musky cologne he wore in the supermarket. I smiled at him and I received a small smile.

We looked at Liam and Carmen and see that they were already making out.

“Well, that escalated quickly,” I chuckled. Oh no, it’s just the two of us now. Mel, act like a normal person for once please.

He nodded and awkwardly took a sip of his beer. Silently we stood next to each other. I opened my mouth to say something, but I had trouble with forming a sentence. He looked at me and I laughed nervously.

“So, you look less tired than the last time I saw you,” I blurted out. I need to have a chat with drunk me tomorrow. I mentally slapped myself across the face.

He blinked a couple of times with a confused look on his face.

Wait, maybe he doesn’t even recognize me. Of course not, why would he?! I anxiously fiddled with a paper coaster in my hands. I should say something.

As he opened his mouth to say something, I beat him to it. “You probably don’t remember me or anything, but we met a few days ago in the supermarket. We grabbed the same box of cereal and I dropped the stuff I was carrying,” I started rambling.

He looked at me amused. Is he smiling?

“Yeah, I remember. The stuff you’re referring to are apples in case you forgot,” he responded. “Did you drop them again?”

“Nearly, when I put the groceries in the trunk of my car.” I felt relieved he did remember me. That would’ve been very awkward.

“I have never seen you here before, you are new in town?” he asked. I explained I had just moved here and why. We actually had a quite decent conversation until I had to pee really badly. I grabbed my drink to take the last sip, but it slipped out of my hands and fell on the floor.

“Shit!” I yelped. “Oh well, I have to pee so maybe I shouldn’t have tried to drink it anyway.”

Again, he looked at me amused. Why do I say I have to pee?! Why am I like this?

“Yeah, so, I’m going to the ladies’ room now. I’ll be back.” I want to walk away, but somehow, I forgot I had just spilled my drink a few seconds ago and that the floor is slippery. As I turned around to walk I away, I felt my shoes slip away and I started to fall.

“Careful out there, don’t fall like those apples,” he says with a smirk while he prevented me from falling as he grabbed my elbow. I immediately felt the heat from his hand on me. My cheeks burned and I felt my head spinning a little. I regained my balance and chuckled nervously.

“I wish I could say I’m a lot less clumsy sober, but we both know that’s not true,” I joked.

I quickly walked towards the ladies’ room and luckily there is no queue. Once I peed, I look into the mirror. My hair is a mess and my cheeks are burning. I tried to make my hair look a little more presentable and take a few sips of water.

I am actually having a conversation with the most handsome man I’ve ever met. And it isn’t even going that bad! Alright, time to go back. I check my make-up one more time and walk back out there.

I almost stood next to Walter again when Carmen came up to me.

“So, Gia is way too drunk and is about to throw up,” she said with a panic look in her eyes. “I can’t help her because I will throw up myself! You need to help me get her out of here. I’ll grab our coats, you get her,” she ordered me.

I wanted to question her plan, but she stormed off. Walter looked at me with question marks in his eyes. Suddenly I heard a girl laugh loudly. Gia. I looked at her and I saw she is not fun drunk anymore.

“Shit,” I muttered and walked towards her. She clung to John and I apologized to him as I took her over. “Come on, let’s go home Gia. Please don’t throw up now.”

Carmen showed up again with our coats and I felt how Gia clasped her arms around me. I practically lifted her up as Carmen pushed us outside.

We were almost outside when I heard a deep voice from behind.

“Hey, what is your name?!”

I looked back but couldn’t answer because Carmen closed the door of the bar behind her.

•••

> chapter three

Taglist: @keanureevesisbae / @klaine-92 / @xxxkatxo / @stxlemate / @oddsnendsfanfics / @amberangel112

If you want to be tagged, let me know! ✨

#Walter Marshall #walter marshall x ofc #walter marshall x plus size ofc #walter marshall x curvy ofc #walter marshall x oc #Henry Cavill #henry cavill x oc #henry cavill x curvy ofc #henry cavill x plus size ofc #henry cavill x ofc #plus size ofc #curvy ofc #electricity #night hunter #nomis

117 notes · View notes