#cataracts and hurricanoes

[wolf359relisten]

EPISODE 4: CATARACTS AND HURRICANOES

listen / transcript / recording script / wiki

"Eiffel takes a quick trip to the exterior of the Hephaestus in pursuit of a cleaner reading of one of the mysterious space transmissions. Things seem to be going well – until an unexpected stellar flare leaves Eiffel stranded outside of the station. Will Commander Minkowski be willing to launch a dangerous rescue mission to save her communications officer? Plus, air guitar solos, dramatic irony, complimentary electroshock therapy, jetpacks, and the realm of the Alpha and the Omega."

August 18

[clonerightsagenda]

Wolf 359 Daily hammering home that Hilbert started his human trial cycle one day after Eiffel literally drowned and had to be resuscitated. Eiffel being in his lab exposed to disease samples gives him a cover story but Hilbert what the fuck. Do you want your subjects to live

[hephaestuscrew]

In Ep4 'Cataracts and Hurricanoes', when Minkowski goes out into the solar storm to save Eiffel, Hilbert's reactions really emphasise the risk that she is taking.

HILBERT: Commander, I… cannot recommend this course of action. Risk of continued electromagnetic anomalies is still very high. This rescue mission places your life in unacceptable risk. For the greater good of the crew I must - MINKOWSKI: For the greater good of the crew I am going to pretend that this line of thinking was never even insinuated, Doctor. ~ HERA: Attention: radiological alert. Attention: radiological alert. Stellar flare imminent. EIFFEL: Uhhh… HILBERT: Commander, permission to speak freely? MINKOWSKI: Permission denied, Doctor. ~ On first listen, or without thinking about it too deeply, it's easy to dismiss Hilbert's opposition to Minkowski's plan as just showing that he doesn't care very much about Eiffel's life. Which is true in terms of Hilbert's perspective on the inherent value of Eiffel's life. But it's not true in terms of his perspective on the value of keeping Eiffel alive as a Decima test subject.

In 'What's Up, Doc?', threatening Eiffel is the only place Minkowski can point her gun that would make Hilbert talk. And yet when Eiffel's life is in danger in 'Cataracts and Hurricanoes', Hilbert actively tries to prevent Minkowski from going out into the storm to save him.

It's not that Hilbert has particular concern for Minkowski's life inherently either, as we see during his Christmas mutiny. When he tells Minkowski not to go out into that storm, it will be because he's weighed up the risks.

He believes that if Minkowski goes out into that storm, her and Eiffel will both probably die. And he's decided that the risk of being the only human left on the Hephaestus is not worth the possibility of saving his current Decima test subject. In arguing against Minkowski trying to save Eiffel, Hilbert is acting on his belief that the likely best case scenario here is one similar to what happened with Fisher: the first test subject lost, time to move onto the next one. That's a better outcome for him than having no humans available to experiment on, even though losing Eiffel would be a major blow to his experimental progress.

So when Minkowski goes out into that storm, she's doing something that a supposed genius thinks will almost certainly result in her death. (And I think Minkowski does see Hilbert as a genius at least at this point, although an eccentric one.) She takes that risk for Eiffel, someone who doesn't even really like. Much as I love Minkowski and Eiffel's relationship, I don't think her decision is personal here. I think she would have done the same for Hilbert, or anyone who she considered a part of her crew. That's the kind of person she is.

But it's still a significant moment in their relationship. If Minkowski would do this for anyone she considered part of her crew, this moment still shows that she considers Eiffel to be a part of her crew (which means that he's someone whose safety she feels responsible for, someone who she will take major risks to save). I think that's a surprise to Eiffel at least, if not to Minkowski as well.

[house-of-mirrors]

Shakespeare quotes in the Sixth Coil, or what I've read of it so far

—in that sleep of death, what dreams may come—

Hamlet, Act III Scene I. The famous "To be or not to be" speech.

To die, to sleep; To sleep, perchance to dream—Ay, there's the rub: for in that sleep of death what dreams may come, when we have shuffled off this mortal coil, must give us pause.

2.

—to break one's staff; bury one's book—

The Tempest, Act V Scene I, paraphrased. When Prospero gives up his magic (read by some as Shakespeare giving up his playwriting career).

I’ll break my staff, Bury it certain fathoms in the earth, And deeper than did ever plummet sound I’ll drown my book.

3.

—blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! rage—

King Lear, Act III Scene II. The great storm, when Lear rages against ungrateful daughters. The storm could be read as a symbol for madness.

Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! rage! blow! You cataracts and hurricanoes, spout [...]Smite flat the thick rotundity o' the world! [...] That make ingrateful man!

4.

–but a walking shadow–

Macbeth, Act V Scene V. The "Tomorrow, tomorrow, and tomorrow" speech.

Life's but a walking shadow, a poor player who struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more. It is a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing.

5.

—you have but slumbered here—

A Midsummer Night's Dream, Act V Scene I. The ending of the play, spoken by Puck directly to the audience.

If we shadows have offended, Think but this, and all is mended, That you have but slumbered here While these visions did appear. And this weak and idle theme, No more yielding but a dream,

6.

—shall I compare thee to a moonlit night—

Play on Sonnet 18, "Shall I compare thee to a summer's day." Part of the "young man" or "fair youth" series of sonnets, in which Shakespeare is preoccupied with the preservation of youth and beauty and urges the young man to have children so the man's beauty and legacy will remain in the world. Progeny as a form of immortality.

Moonlight... should be. Particular parts of the sonnet that jumped out to me:

Sometime too hot the eye of heaven shines, And often is his gold complexion dimmed; (lines 5-6)

[...]

Nor shall Death brag thou wander’st in his shade When in eternal lines to time thou grow’st: (lines 11-12)

[emp-t-man]

okay, potentially hot take because ik so many people ship them BUT— a ramble/essay about my interpretation of doug and hera’s relationship (spoilers obviously, ik there’s a lot of people currently listening)

Doug Eiffel is— a deeply flawed individual. It’s easy to forget that because of how benevolent he seems in comparison to half of the cast, but the truth is, he is not a great person at the podcast’s start. What he did to Anne and to Kate is absolutely unforgivable. However. He realizes that this is the case, and spends the rest of his life hating himself for it and trying to get as far away from the person he was as possible. The only reason why he accepted Cutter’s offer in the first place was because he had promised to provide for Anne in his absence and give her the life Doug wished he could have given her. He didn’t really care what happened to him at that point. That being said— imagine his thought process when suddenly, in the middle of this punishment for the life he ruined, he meets another intelligent, young (chronologically speaking), curious girl who struggles to know exactly where her place in the crew and in the world is.

He’s not a good friend to Hera at all in the beginning. He sees her as more of a tool than as a person, as Pryce views her, and is scared of her presence because of just how constant it is. I believe some of this is due to just how much Eiffel despises himself and how terrified he is of someone discovering his true self, rather than the confident, easygoing persona he’s hastily taped onto himself. The entire story of Anne and how he ended up on the Hephaestus was removed from his personnel file (something I believe he personally requested due to his goal of leaving that Doug Eiffel in the past), and so Hera had no reason to believe that this persona isn’t his real character. This leads her to not be too fond of him, either. To her, Eiffel is simply a lazy, selfish, ignorant communications officer who is miraculously still okay at his job.

Up until around episode four, their relationship is strictly professional; Hera only speaking to Eiffel to answer a question of his, and not participating in any casual conversation or friendly banter. It isn’t until Eiffel nearly drowns in the solar storm of Cataracts and Hurricanoes that she appears to show any concern for him (admitting that she missed him while he was unconscious). I believe this comes from a place of guilt for Hera, because in her head, she’s the one responsible for everyone on board’s lives. She’s here because she wanted to prove to Cutter that she can be useful, that she’s competent and independent and good at what she does, and letting Eiffel die while on her watch would have disproved that to her. Of course, there was absolutely nothing she could have done to prevent what happened and it was in no way her fault, but to her, she could have done better. She could have given a more in advance warning of the storm. She could have sensed the suit’s coolant system would fail earlier. She could have done something to prevent it.

After the events of episode four, the pair seems to have reached some sort of understanding. Episode six begins with them in the middle of a completely non work related conversation (Eiffel asking Hera’s top five “stick it to the man” songs). At this point I still don’t believe they consider each other “friends”— rather, Hera is simply entertaining Eiffel because she feels sorry for him, especially after the events of Cigarette Candy. However, while this conversation is happening, Hera gets annoyed with Hilbert for rudely demanding something of her despite her objections concerning station safety. This surprises Eiffel because, quote, “he didn’t know she got upset”. He still didn’t see her as human, and so the concept of her experiencing emotion was alien to him, and realizing this helps to open his eyes as to just how similar to him she really is. I believe this realization is what causes him to reciprocate her sentiment at the end of episode six, stating that he missed her.

Although this information helps him to understand Hera a little better for a short time, his attitude towards her doesn’t seem to get too much better for the next few episodes— making the “it’s just part of her programming” remark in episode seven, calling her simply an “operating system”, etc— but it is revealed that he respects the work she does to keep them safe (most of the time) and thinks she’s incredibly intelligent. Small things like this are what I believe cause Hera to ultimately refer to them as friends by episode eleven, and also to refer to him as simply “Doug” rather than the more professional title of “officer Eiffel”. Despite this, though, she still admits that she isn’t sure if she’ll miss him once he’s gone forever. It’s very much a relationship built on mutual trauma (as relationships in wolf 359 tend to be) to the point of which they don’t know how they would feel about each other were the circumstances different.

Episodes twelve and thirteen are where their relationship really starts developing some layers. First of all, Hera is the only one who acknowledges Eiffel’s birthday, even going so far as to call her latest sensing of a transmission her present to him. This really seems to strike something in Eiffel, as he makes it clear that he often goes overlooked on his birthday due to sharing it with Christmas. Having such a thoughtful and personal action come from Hera of all people seems to give him some sort of breakthrough on how much she truly cares about him and looks up to him. And the last time he experienced that level of admiration came from where? Most likely his daughter.

This connection seems even more obvious to me during the pep talk he gives her while she’s being forced to obey Hilbert’s commands. He realizes the error of his own comments regarding Hera’s programming through similar remarks stated by Hilbert, and takes care to prove those remarks wrong because he recognizes how much she’s actively struggling to work against said programming. He coaxes her through the fear that she’s helpless to stop what’s happening, that she will— once again— be responsible for causing her friends harm (the exact same fear that scared her so bad during episode four). He does this by calling Hilbert a “dork” of all things, something that sounds rather childish and out of place for such a dire situation. This speech, Eiffel telling Hera just how smart she is and how much he believes in her to do great and seemingly impossible things, sounds awfully similar to the message he leaves for Anne at the beginning of the finale. The speech feels inherently parental. And it isn’t the first time it’s given, either! He says something very similar in episodes forty five and fifty eight! He so badly wants to see her succeed, especially after what she admits to him after Hilbert brings her back, about how she was only stuck in this position because the people back home deemed her “flighty, mercurial, and having poor impulse control”, and didn’t see her as “good enough” to fit a more comfortable job, similar to how Eiffel believed he was only on the Hephaestus to be a test subject, and they didn’t really expect him to make contact with extraterrestrials. Eiffel wants Hera to believe she’s capable of so much, and to go so far as a person, because he doesn’t believe the same of himself, and if he’s not going to be anything of use while he’s alive, he can at least inspire someone else to do differently. This ideology is extremely common in parents in regard to their children. One of the most common goals of parenthood is to provide your child with a better, more opportune life than you had, because you would never wish your own life upon a future generation. This is exactly what Eiffel wants to provide for Anne, and for Hera.

I could say so much more on this topic with even more examples from other episodes, but I have already talked for such a long time, so if anyone actually read this far, thank you so much for hearing me out— Eiffel and Hera are so important to me as characters and their relationship is something I hold so close to my heart, so hopefully this meant something to someone else as well.

[minti-tales]

Vierapril '24 - Day 1: Regal

More dramatics with the Ancients.

Endwalker spoilers ahoy.

King Leonides clung to a rock as horrid winds blew, and rain poured down upon his wizened head. His royal robes, once bright purples and golds, were splatted with mud and muck from days of travel. Even his beard, his beautiful beard of hair as bright as fresh-fallen snow, was but matted grey slush.

Ah! To be reduced to a common beggar, to wander and wither away! The barbarity of it all!

"Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks!" The beggar-king howled towards the sky, shaking his fists in righteous anger.

"Rage, blow!

You cataracts and hurricanoes, spout till you have drenched our steeples, drowned the cocks. You sulph'rous and thought-executing fires, vaunt-couriers of oak-cleaving thunderbolts, singe my white head.

And thou, all-shaking thunder, strike flat the thick rotundity o' th' world. Crack Natures' moulds, all brotherhood spill at once, that makes ingrateful man!" Leonides frowned, rose to his feet, and raised a hand into the air. With a sharp snap of fingers and thumb, the world suddenly melted around him, leaving only himself, and two masked and robed figures, on a circular marble dais. The wind - the true wind of Elpis - brushed past his chin, sending his "beard" fluttering off towards a patch of perpetually blooming flowers.

"Why did you stop? That was excellent so far, excellent." One of the masked figures, a tall man with dark black hair and striking green eyes, clapped his hands and smiled pleasantly. "I could just *see* you falling into the pits of despair. Couldn't you, Hythlodaeus?"

The other figure, made up to look like King Leonides' long-suffering court fool, grinned from beneath the heavy dabs of powder on his face. "As if our dear Emet-Selch needed any help taking the stage. I'd take my hat off for you, but I fear that would break the spell Dionysos has weaved for us thus far." He pointed towards his foppish silk hat and soiled peasant's clothes, and grinned even more. "Perhaps you take offense at being called 'nuncle', in the next line? I am the King's Fool, after all. It's my purpose to be your advisor, your friend. Even in dark moments as these, betrayed by your daughters and your kingdom."

Having shed the rest of his costume, Emet-Selch moved with effortless grace towards the rim of the dais, crossed his arms across his chest, and closed his eyes. "What a poor excuse of a king." he said, after a time. "A true king would never let himself fall to such lows. Wallowing in the dirt, crying at the winds." Turning to Dionysos, he continued, his anger echoed by the stage's acoustics. "I shudder to think if you were inspired by the world below. Is this what you see in it? Betrayal? Loss? Madness?" A step closer. "What we have created - what we have fashioned ever so carefully - is nothing less than perfect. So, with that in mind, I want this rewritten. Understand, this 'play' of yours will reflect what we've worked for. Not some dark fantasy you've cobbled together." Leonides' robes were thrown unceremoniously at Dionysos's feet.

Dionysos could only look on in shock as Emet stormed off into the night, bolts of lightning sent streaking across the night sky, in his wake. Shortly after, fat drops of rain loosed themselves from the fluffy clouds above, threatening to wash the whole production away. I struck a nerve, I take it, he thought.

It took a moment to kneel down and pick up the "king's" robes, to cradle them in the ancient's arms like a mother with her babe. Fine fabric like this shouldn't be left to the mercies of the evening; Phoenix had done too good a job willing the clothes into being. The dirt and muck were but illusions, of course. Is this what I should be doing as Azem, writing about the world as it is? Is that not allowed anymore?

A kindly voice came from behind, and a hand gently placed on Dionysos' shoulder. "You must forgive Emet-Selch. He's still suffering from the effects of the memory loss we experienced. I know it weighs heavily on him-"

"-as it does on all of us." Dionysos groaned and pressed the robes up to his face. "Hermes and his experiments." It felt oddly comforting to rub sopping wet cloth on his face. "Perhaps Hephastus would be more open to my mummery. I'm sure I could find a place for his child, too. What was their name? Damned if I've forgotten."

Of the Muses who flocked to Dionysos, who eternally demanded his attention, there were a few who gave him the comfort and kindness he needed. Calliope (sweet, hopeless Calliope), Ajax (strong, stoic Ajax), and, unofficially, Hythlodaeus. Granted, he wasn't around nearly enough to be called a Muse, but the love was there, regardless. A good love. Agape. The love that could keep a rainy night from not being as bad as it could be.

He was close by, wasn't he. Embracing a beleaguered playwright, putting forehead to forehead. Holding Dionysos just the way he liked it.

"My old friend," Hythlodaeus whispered. " 'Court holy water in a dry house is better than this rain water out o' door. Good brother, in, and ask thy friend's blessing. Here's a night pities nether wise men nor fools.'"

"That's not how the line goes," Dionysos whispered back.

"I'd take the hint if I'd your mind."

"I will."

~~~~~~~~

[imawriternotamagican]

Masterlist of my AO3 fics

Wolf 359 - (9)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48368023/chapters/121991854

-- Eiffel isn't doing too great after getting back from his 200 day trip on Lovelace's ship- no slash

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48577126

-- Earth AU where Eiffel is still an expiriment for Decima, but makes an escape plan and helps someone else out too. 1,667 words. Past Eiffel/Hilbert, and content Warning for Cutter

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48721171

-- Basically I took Cataracts and Hurricanos and made it sad. 901 words. Heiffel if you squint but not really.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50494321

-- More of a character study on Lovelace when Eiffel shoots himself up with neurotoxins. 1,054 words and no slash.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50650138

-- Pryce has a pretty strong hold on Renee. Suppose Eiffel had pissed them off a little more in Hilbert's lab and they never even made it to the air lock? No slash, 5k.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/51020434

-- Eiffel saves Lovelace's life, and we get to kill Kepler!!!! No slash, 1,650 words. Also quality content of everyone telling Doug to Shut His Mouth(TM)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50525947

-- Jacobi gets a migraine, Kepler learns how to help. Yes, *sigh* it's slash. 840 words.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/49569166/chapters/125105572

-- Incomplete WW2 era fic. WIP but slowly :/

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48486268

-- I actually despise this one but when I just had this idea and it wouldn't leave my brain. A little more insight into Hilbert and Minkowski's relationship before shit went down because they never elaborated much. 961 words, no slash.

.........

Project Hail Mary (2)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50555845

-- After Grace has left, Rocky is all alone on his ship. Character study, 658 words.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/50691181

-- Grace has a panic attack. Rocky learns about humans. Science stuff. No slash, 644 words.

...........

All of my Marvel fics (7) are in a series:

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3456877

....

The Witcher (1)

https://archiveofourown.org/works/48318571/chapters/121863001

Jaskier vs. the town at the bottom of the valley. Hint of a song fic but there's plot.

..........

SPOTIFY PLAYLISTS:

Yes.

I have three other W359 playlists on my profile for Hilbert, Minkowski and SI-5

Read the Locked Tomb. Do it.

...Yeah

[commsroom]

so I’ve been listening to the Wolf 359 soundtracks and I got to Welcome to Wolf 359 (Cheerful Variation) which is the song they play at the end of episode 61 when they’re heading back to earth and this big ball of emotion rose up in my throat just instantly. this show means so much to me, I’ve listened to it maybe ten times and all the music is amazing but that song just hits me so hard, it’s so hopeful

ough i know exactly what you mean. i find the ending so hopeful and of course the writing in wolf 359 is like, a gold standard for me, but the music... how much of the themes and emotional resonance of the show are communicated through music, but also music as a theme of the show, music as the hallmark of humanity... alan rodi is a genius, and thank god, because it's a show that could not have settled for any less. gabriel urbina has said the music of the show "defines; builds upwards; taught [him] a lot about what the show is and isn't", and that's a whole other discussion about the collaborative nature of the show and what can be said about wolf 359 re: communication in a meta context. but also i just keep thinking about how he said that one track ("eiffel is being a bit melodramatic why this time" on the track listings, but originally just titled "eiffel and hera") guided his understanding of their relationship from cataracts & hurricanoes onwards + he's also described it as the show's "tenderness theme"...

[lovelettertoshakespeare]

King Lear 3.2.1-11

Lear: Blow winds, and crack your cheeks! Rage, blow! You cataracts and hurricanoes, spout Till you have drenched our steeples, ⟨drowned⟩ the cocks. You sulph’rous and thought-executing fires, Vaunt-couriers of oak-cleaving thunderbolts, Singe my white head. And thou, all-shaking thunder, Strike flat the thick rotundity o’ th’ world. Crack nature’s molds, all germens spill at once That makes ingrateful man.

At this point, Lear is definitely losing it a little. He is outside raging against the storm because his daughters won't let him and all his soldiers stay with them. After this, the fool literally begs him to come back and he continues to be stubborn, and thus his madness spirals. I think this section is a really good example of the general theme of madness and how it can get a strong grip on a character.

[shakespearesglitterpen]

King Lear Act 3

"Blow winds, and crack your cheeks! Rage, blow!

You cataracts and hurricanoes, spout

Till you have drenched our steeples, (drowned) the

cocks.

You sulph'rous and thought-executing fires,

Vaunt-couriers of oak-cleaving thunderbolts,

Singe my white head. And thou, all-shaking

thunder,

Strike flat the thick rotundity o' th' world.

Crack nature's molds, all germens spill at once

That makes ingrateful man."

Lear, act 3, sc 2, lines 1-15

In this scene, Lear shouts and rages at the growing storm around him as his Fool tries to get him to seek shelter.

Honestly, if this were almost any other character in almost any other play, I'd think this is a cool scene and a slay on his part. Basically telling the elements to fuck off can be a power move. But, because it's Lear and I have no investment in him or his journey, I think he's being dramatic and looks stupid shouting at the storm (based on the adaptations we've seen). If it were Titus Andronicus or even Richard III, I might be more interested because they were intriguing characters in their own right. But Lear has just annoyed me from the beginning and his decent into madness holds little to no weight for me.

Sorry king, but I literally don't care about you and you look silly shouting at the wind. Take a seat and stop being insufferable.

[wolf359transcripts]

Wolf 359 Season 1 Episode 4 - “Cataracts and Hurricanoes”

[intro music]

Welcome to Wolf 359.

Eiffel: Hello, dear listeners. This is Communications Officer Douglas Eiffel. Recording from the USS Hephaestus Station.

[music begins: Also sprach Zarathustra by Richard Strauss]

Eiffel: Today, however, I don’t speak to you from the plebian confines of the comms room.

Eiffel: No. Today I come to you direct from the final frontier. From the realm of the Alpha, and the Omega. Today I am recording... from outer space!

Eiffel: There are no words to describe the experience. To stand upon the firmament. To gaze upon a star, as an equal. Today, I am not unlike the gods. When once you have tasted space flight, you will forever walk the earth with your eyes turned skyward, for there you have been, and there you will always long, to-

[open intercom buzz, music ends]

Minkowski: For Christ’s sake, Eiffel. Could you please get a move on?

Eiffel: [under his voice] Really, she couldn’t have held on for a few more syllables?

Eiffel: Sorry Commander, didn’t mean to enjoy the majesty.

Minkowski: When I agreed to lend you the spacesuit, there was a strict “no tomfoolery” clause, remember? Now hurry up and realign the satellite dish already.

Eiffel: ... And there goes the majesty. Ten-four, Commander. Realigning now. You at the comms station?

Minkowski: I’m here. Remind me again why we’re doing this?

Eiffel: I’ve been picking up traces of signals all week long, but I haven’t been able to zero in on them. I might be able to get a clean reading if I just adjust the instruments, but I need someone with actual hands to help me calibrate. I’d ask Hilbert to do it, but he’d probably get bored and turn my consoles into a nuclear bomb, then forget to tell me about it. So that leaves you. Give that a shot.

[long static noise]

Eiffel: I actually think that made it worse. Let me try the opposite direction, see if that does anything.

Minkowski: Hurry up. You’re not exactly... trained for this.

Eiffel: Would you relax? I’ve got an air supply for the next hour and a half, and I’m tethered to the ship. And these mag-boots are keeping me superglued to the hull. It’s not as Star Trek as that jetpack thingy you use, but we’re plenty precautioned right now. Hera? Could you please reassure Commander that I’m fine?

Hera: All systems in Officer Eiffel’s suit are working nominally, and his temperature and heart rate are both within acceptable parameters.

Eiffel: ... Which means I’m fine?

Hera: Which means he’s fine.

Eiffel: [brightly] Thank you, Hera! Give that a try, Commander.

[long static noise, slowly transitioning to music: Chinese Blues by Moore and Gardner]

Eiffel: Oh, yeah! Hera, you picking this up?

Hera: Loud and clear.

Eiffel: Let’s see if we can lay down some track for this. I might finally get that mixtape started.

Minkowski: Would you quit clowning around and get back inside?

Eiffel: Please Commander, if this doesn’t call for an air guitar solo, I don’t know what does. Now hold on, let me tinker more. I might be able to get this thing to pick up HBO.

Minkowski: Eiffel.

[music stops, klaxon blares]

Hera: Attention! Radiological alert. Attention! Radiological alert.

Minkowski: Dr. Hilbert? Please tell me that’s something you’re doing.

Hilbert: Negative, Commander. Not engaged in any experimental conditions at the moment. It’s the star.

Hera: Radiation levels are rising throughout the station. Class four radiological storm imminent.

Minkowski: Eiffel, get the hell inside.

Eiffel: What’s the big deal? Been like a hundred flares since we got here. I can take a little noon-day sun.

Hilbert: The interior of the Hephaestus is strongly shielded against the effects of radiation anomalies, but the hull of the ship is open to exposure. Just the increase in solar wind from the storm will be enough to cause major fluctuations to the magnetic fields around your –

Eiffel: Okay okay, got it. Class dismissed. Hera, I’m headed back towards aft deck airlock two.

Hera: Copy that. ETA?

Eiffel: A minute to the hatch, another thirty seconds to –

[harsh static noises]

Eiffel: Um... is something going on with my suit? It sounds like I’m about to get a free round of shock therapy.

Hera: The elevated levels of radiation are causing some of your electrical systems to go offline.

Eiffel: Lovely. So what’s about to go kablooey? Navigation? Life support? Temperature regulation? Woah woah woah woah woah!

Hera: The malfunctioning system appears to be your magnetised footwear.

Eiffel: Oh really. I hadn’t noticed.

Minkowski: Are you still attached to the hull?

Eiffel: Negative, Commander. Man overboard, or whatever the space version of that is. Tether is holding, but I’m floating.

Hera: Officer Eiffel, remain –

[static noises]

Eiffel: Hera, I do not copy. Say again.

[static noises]

Eiffel: Mayday, mayday, mayday. Floating off structure. Trying to pull myself up the tether. How much time until the storm reaches our position? How bad is this thing going to be? Are we talking light showers, or cataracts and hurricanoes?

Hilbert: [through static] – our shield –

Eiffel: Do not copy, Dr. Hilbert. Say again.

Hilbert: [through static] – way to enga– any vision –

Eiffel: There’s too much interference! Again, how much time before –

[Loud explosion, followed by start of strong static and wind]

Eiffel: [screams] Oh god, my eyes! That was a bright flash – oh god.

Eiffel: Damn it. There are those rough seas I was promised. Hephaestus Station, do you copy? I am spinning. I have no control over my trajectory. Please, come in. Hephaestus? [under his breath] Come on...

Minkowski: – and meet me at the bridge, Dr. Hilbert. Officer Eiffel, do you copy?

Eiffel: Yes, now I copy.

Minkowski: What’s your condition? Are you stable?

Eiffel: Negative, Commander, everything’s Gimme Shelter out here.

Minkowski: Eiffel, none of us have time to figure out what that means. For once in your life, just speak plain English.

Eiffel: Really? Oh, a storm’s threatening, my very – Alright, fine. Things are awful out here. That plain enough? A little help would be appreciated.

[continuous warning beeps begin]

Eiffel: ...And we got a new problem! What’s going horribly wrong now?

Hera: Proximity alert. You’re on a collision vector with the aft deck solar panel. Do you see it?

Eiffel: Negative. No. No visual.

Hilbert: Upon impact, grab and hold onto panel. Only way to stabilise.

Eiffel: Impact?

Minkowski: You’re coming in fast, and you’re picking up momentum. It’s going to be bumpy.

Eiffel: Oh swell. Hera, how far am I from the panel? Can I get a countdown?

Hera: Can’t you just –

Eiffel: No, I can’t see it. I didn’t have my face shield down when the first flare hit and it blinded me. All I’m getting is white and some hazy shapes, so we’re gonna do this tag team style. Hera?

Hera: Calculating. Collision in 12, 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

[impact]

Eiffel: [groaning in pain] Ah, son of a bitch!

Minkowski: Are you back on structure?

Eiffel: Negative, Commander. I was not able to hold onto the panel.

Hera: Officer Eiffel is moving away from the Hephaestus at a speed of thirty-five miles per hour and rising.

Eiffel: Alright, if anyone has any brilliant ideas, now would be –

Minkowski: Eiffel, are you –

Eiffel: [choking] – Fine, fine, Commander – [gasp] I just got to the end of the bungee cord. I... still can’t see. I think my right arm might be dislocated now, but... I’m stable. And not moving.

[warning beeps end]

[static and wind fade out]

Eiffel: Alright, now that things are quieter, how do you guys feel about pulling a U-turn on the ol’

Winnebago and coming to pick me up?

Hilbert: Our rudimentary propulsion system’s ability to correct for the stellar mass’s gravitational cycle is –

Minkowski: We don’t have the engines for a manoeuvre like that, Eiffel. We go where the star takes us. You have to pull yourself up the tether.

Hilbert: Expediency is of paramount importance. Stellar readings indicate a high probability of continued erratic geomagnetic anomalies over the next few hours.

Eiffel: I mentioned the arm, right? And, the blindness?

Minkowski: Look. Getting through those hundred feet of tether won’t exactly be pleasant.

Eiffel: A hundred feet? Jesus Christ.

Minkowski: But you have plenty of air, so just take it slow. Grit your teeth, and get through it, one step at a time.

Hera: Yeah... actually uh, Commander, that may not be a, um, completely feasible course of action.

Eiffel: Hera?

Hera: My instruments are detecting a rapid drop in the water supply levels of your suit’s cooling system. It’s... likely that your collision against the solar panel caused a leak.

Minkowski: Hera, there’s bigger problems than that right now. He’ll survive without a cooling system.

Hera: Um... no. No no, that’s not the problem, Commander... Scans also indicate humidity level within Officer Eiffel’s suit is rapidly climbing. The water is leaking into the suit.

Eiffel: Hera?

Hera: [sigh] Given your current weightlessness, um, the amount of water in the cooling system, the volume of the occupancy space within your suit, the –

Eiffel: Hera! Bottom line!

[pause]

Hera: The bottom line is that unless there’s a change in your conditions in the next few minutes, you’re likely going to drown.

[pause]

Eiffel: Drown?

Hera: But the important thing is not to pa–

Eiffel: I’m going to drown? In outer space? What kind of sense does that even make?

Hilbert: Officer Eiffel! Maintain your composure! Remember Pryce and Carter number four: conserve your –

Eiffel: Hilbert, I may well be dying out here, but I’m not gonna have one of the last things I hear be some crap from the survival manual! I’ve had enough dramatic irony for one day, thank you!

Hilbert: Listen. You need to stop yelling. Your breathing rate is too high for your current oxygen reserves.

Eiffel: [to himself] Right right right right right. Yeah okay. Limited oxygen, gotta stay calm. Gotta stay calm, okay. No yelling. No... yelling. Deep breaths. Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

Minkowski: Hera. Timeframe?

Hera: Six minutes. With luck.

Minkowski: What airlock is closest to Officer Eiffel’s current position?

Hera: Aft deck number three.

Minkowski: Begin spacewalk prep there. Hilbert. Go down to the airlock. Connect two tethers together, then attach them to the restraint. It should be enough slack for me to reach him with my propulsion unit.

Eiffel: Is that your jetpack thingy?

Minkowski: Yes, Eiffel, that’s my jetpack thingy!

Hilbert: Commander. I... cannot recommend this course of action. Risk of continued electromagnetic anomalies is still very high. This rescue mission places your life in unacceptable risk. For the greater good of the crew, I must request –

Minkowski: For the greater good of the crew, I am going to pretend that this line of thinking was never even insinuated, Doctor. Aft deck airlock. Now.

Hilbert: Aye, commander.

Minkowski: Eiffel, I’m coming to you. How are you doing?

Eiffel: Um, acceptable. I’m starting to feel the water from the leak though. Still making my way up the tether. Only... Hera?

Hera: Ninety-four feet.

Eiffel: That much to go.

Minkowski: Keep at it.

[airlock cycles]

Minkowski: Hera, I’m outside the station. What is Officer Eiffel’s approximate coordinates from my position?

Hera: Twenty-three degrees ecliptic north, seventeen degrees left to east. Four minutes of acceptable water-to-air ratio remaining.

Eiffel: [sarcastically] Thank you, Hera. Commander, can you see me?

Minkowski: Negative. No visual contact. Can you flash your work lights?

[switch clicks]

Minkowski: Still nothing. Beginning an approach trajectory towards your coordinates.

Eiffel: [slightly strained] Not to alarm anyone or anything, but [spluttering] things are getting kinda touch-and-go in here.

Minkowski: Doing what we can. Hera, distance?

Hera: Seventy feet and closing, Commander.

Minkowski: Flash your lights again.

[switch clicks]

Minkowski: Still no visual contact. Hera, can you do anything to refine –

[klaxon blares]

Hera: Attention! Radiological alert. Attention! Radiological alert. Stellar flare imminent.

Eiffel: Uh...

Hilbert: Commander! Permission to speak freely!

Minkowski: Permission denied, Doctor. Eiffel, is there anything you can do to give me a sense of – wait, flash your lights again.

[clicking of switch]

Minkowski: Got you! Beginning intercept vector... I should be at your position in a few moments.

Eiffel: [strained] Faster would be better.

Minkowski: Just be ready. I don’t exactly have brakes on this thing. Approaching. Should be at your position in... 3, 2... Damn it!

[static noise begins]

Hilbert: What? Did you get him, Commander?

Minkowski: Negative, Doctor, I was off by a few feet, I went past him. Turning around now to try to s– [through static] – be more than a few seconds. Eiffel, are you ready?

Eiffel: Wait, Commander. What? Did not copy. What are you – [coughing fit]

[long silence filled with static]

[Eiffel gasps in a deep breath and coughs]

Minkowski: Easy. Easy. Easy. It’s okay. You’re alright. You’re in Dr. Hilbert’s lab.

Eiffel: [weakly] Hilbert’s... lab?

Minkowski: Deep breaths. You’re okay, we got you. Hilbert’s relocated your arm and he says your vision should be back to normal in a few days.

Eiffel: I’m... alright?

Minkowski: Well, you’re still you, so... Eh? But you’re not in any medical danger. Although, Hilbert did have to resuscitate you. So you now qualify as undead.

Eiffel: [chuckles weakly] Ah, god damnit, don’t make me laugh. My lungs are barely holding together as it is.

Minkowski: Take it easy. Rest up. You should be alright.

Eiffel: Commander. Thank you.

Minkowski: You’re welcome. Just... promise me you won’t push your luck like that again any time soon? Like in this lifetime?

Eiffel: [coughs] Scout’s honour.

[door opens and closes]

Eiffel: [sigh of relief]

Hera: Officer Eiffel?

Eiffel: Hey, baby. Did you miss me?

Hera: I’ve been keeping track of your vital signs and biological readings since Commander Minkowski brought you on board.

Eiffel: ... Because you missed me?

Hera: ... Because I missed you. [pause] I have something for you.

Eiffel: Oh?

Hera: Yes. It’s not much, but I thought it might make you feel a bit better.

[music begins and plays to the end: Chinese Blues by Moore and Gardner]

Eiffel: [chuckles] Thank you, Hera.

[outro music]

This has been Wolf 359, written and directed by Gabriel Urbina. The roles of Eiffel and Hilbert were played by Zach Valenti. The role of Minkowski was played by Emma Sherr-Ziarko. And the role of Hera was played by Michaela Swee. Original music by Alan Rodi, and audio recording by Jared Paul. Tonight’s space transmission was Chinese Blues by Moore and Gardner. Also featured on tonight’s episode was Also sprach Zarathustra by Richard Strauss. Wanna learn more about deep space rescue mission procedure? Visit at wolf359.fm, or follow us on Twitter at @Wolf359Radio for more information on our show.

Transcription by @saltssaumure.

[hephaestuscrew]

I go back and forth on whether I think Securité was the first time Minkowski and Eiffel hugged. Because on the one hand, I think that by the end of season 2 Minkowski and Eiffel are friends who are deeply important to each other, and that Eiffel is a physically affectionate person, and that Minkowski gives really good tight hugs when she wants to. And if Minkowski and Eiffel didn't hug before Securité, then it seems probable that neither of them would have hugged anyone at all in 864 days. 

But on the other hand, there are still emotional barriers between them by the end of Season 2. Eiffel isn't expecting Minkowski to hug him in Securité and he doesn't initiate a hug himself. And if you don't expect to hug your friend after you've been presumed dead in deep space for over 200 days, then when would you expect to hug them? 

Minkowski apologises after hugging Eiffel in Securité. And it's not completely clear if that is just for the tightness of the hug and the lack of warning, or if she's apologising for hugging him at all. Eiffel says "it's all right. Don't apologize for hugging", and that could mean it isn't a big deal because they've hugged before, or it could be giving her permission for a new way of interacting. He could be telling her that it's all right, they can be people who hug each other.

We don't know whether Minkowski and Eiffel ever hugged before Securité, but we do know that she carried him to the lab during his Decima attack in Do No Harm. We know that as he convulsed after collapsing, she told him "It's okay, I've got you", which I think implies she was holding him. And going all the way back to Cataracts and Hurricanoes, we know that when he nearly drowned in his spacesuit, she brought him inside. There's just something so emotional to me about the idea that before Securité, Minkowski might have only ever touched Eiffel in a gentle or affectionate way when he was unconscious and at risk of dying. And then, after he gets stranded on the shuttle, for a while she thinks he is dead, or as good as. He's lost in deep space where none of them can reach him. And when he returns, this time she grabs hold of him and she doesn't want to let go.

[nellied-reviews]

Cataracts and Hurricanoes Re-listen

Hey! We've hit episode 4 of my epic Wolf 359 re-listen, which can only mean one thing:

Cataracts and Hurricanoes

In which Eiffel's off-structure, Minkowski gets to use her jetpack and everything is surprisingly action-y.

Honestly, I've not too much to say about thus episode. That's not because it's bad per se, but more because it's mostly just a straight-up sci-fi action episode. The plot revolves around the admirably straightforward premise of "Eiffel fell overboard", and looks at how the crew deal with that. There's a whole lot of tension, especially when Eiffel's suit springs a leak. But there aren't many shocking twists, or, until the end of the episode, many stand-out character moments.

That said, it's definitely the sort of story I expect from the show at this point. We've seen a couple of different threats and stories happening inside the station, after all. Now it's time to see what threats exist and what stories can be told outside the station. And the simplest way to do that is a "man overboard" story. It's tense, interesting and sets some basic ground rules of how being out in space, in this series, is going to work. How serious is it if somebody starts floating away? Do we have space jetpacks? Are spacewalks routine in this setting, or are they an all-hands-on-deck affair? These are all questions that this episode actually does answer, so that's pretty cool.

In this respect, starting with Also Sprach Zarathustra is also a smart choice. It's epic music in and of itself, but it's also so very linked to 2001: A Space Odyssey. It's "space music" and I, at least, link it to a certain grandiose, glamorous vision of space - just like Eiffel apparently does, which is why he picks it for the background to his ridiculous little space log.

When Minkowski interrupts, then, it's both just a really funny record-scratch moment and a sort of rejection of this grand, cinematic version of space we all have in our heads. Her irritation is a reminder that no, space isn’t glam, it’s just the place we live, and it's a pain in the butt, especially when things keep breaking. Spacewalks, in Wolf 359, are an irritating chore at best, and pretty banal, all things considered. 

And the reason for this spacewalk? Eiffel wants to realign a satellite dish to see if he can pick up the alien signal better. It's … a surprisingly competent moment for him? He also seems to have taken the initiative and suggested it himself, basically because he's curious. It's a fun reminder that Eiffel's actually quite good at what he does, and that he's sometimes even enthusiastic about it. We don't see that much later on. Maybe it just gets beaten out of him by the general stickiness of everything that happens after the star goes blue. Either way, it's on show here, which is nice.

When he goes overboard, then, there's literally no way it can be pinned on him. We're not dealing with another "Eiffel screws things up" episode. Instead, the issue is that the star suddenly does something unexpected - not the last time we'll see this happen. The sudden, unexpected radiological alert is perhaps our first hint that there's something off about Wolf 359.

It also doesn't escape my attention that this flare, timed exactly for when Eiffel is outside the station, may or may not be our first instance of the Dear Listeners reaching out to Eiffel. I don't know, it just seems odd that two flares hit precisely when there's somebody outside the station. Hmmm...

In any case, the flare itself sounds terrifying, and the revelation afterwards that Eiffel is off structure but his tether is holding is actually a relief - I thought his tether would be gone for sure. We start to get all sorts of alarming things happening, though, with water seeping into the suit and threatening to drown him (!), but also the radio cutting in and out. 

Even worse, Eiffel's been blinded by the flare, which makes the whole floating/drowning thing even worse! I can't think of much worse than knowing that you've got water floating about in your suit and slowly choking you, without being able to see it. Ugh. 

Interestingly, it also put us in the exact same position as Eiffel. He's basically just got radio contact to the others now, without any visuals, which works really well with an audio format. We can put ourselves in Eiffel's shoes, because we're seeing and hearing basically the same things he is. It makes things really tense, especially when we can hear him choking. Yikes.

Minkowski, in the face of this, remains incredibly calm and professional, and saves the day, with Hera's equally able assistance - while Hilbert seems more than willing to just let Eiffel die. Which tracks, given his general evilness, I suppose. I like that Minkowski doesn't even consider Hilbert's suggestion that they abandon Eiffel. She's by-the-book, and a bit of a hardass, sure. But she's got principles, and is protective of her crew. Letting Eiffel die is not even a worst-case-scenario option for her, which I can respect.

All of the interactions after Eiffel is safely on board are really lovely too. Minkowski's so clearly concerned for him! He thanks her for the jetpack rescue! They joke around a bit! It's a happy, small moment, and then we get Hera tracking Eiffel's vitals, and recording his music, and it just gets better! It's super, super sweet, and I love it. After so much tension, it's a welcome change.

It also does not escape my attention that Hilbert does not come and check in on Eiffel. What a charming guy.

And then it's over. I was genuinely surprised by the end of this episode, because it felt like it went super quickly, even though not that much happened. Plot-wise, certainly, the episode doesn't do that much. Character-wise, it's not doing anything particularly shocking. There's very little interpersonal tension. It's not even got too much of Wolf 359's usual brand of comedy going on. What we're left with, instead, is an episode which is just a fun, relatively simple sci-fi action episode. It tries to keep us on the edge of our seats, and I think it pretty much succeeds there?

I don't know what else can be said about Cataracts and Hurricanoes. It does what it sets out to do. It's pretty fun. By the end of it, we have a better idea of how space works in this series, and exactly how dangerous floating off into space can be - which sets us up well for future misadventures. Plus, there are some cute bits at the end. 10/10 would float off into space again.

Miscellaneous thoughts:

I said it before, but I do love how excited and enthusiastic Eiffel is as the start

I like to think I would be equally excited about going on a spacewalk

But let’s be real, I would be panicking about running out of oxygen

Aww he wants to make a mixtape of the ragtime music!

“I’m going to drown?! In SPACE?!” 

Space jetpack!!!

Eiffel calling Hera baby ^-^

[lyriclorelei]

Some of my favorite Wolf 359 episodes, but not all of them. 

2/25: Episode 4, Cataracts and Hurricanoes

For me the Eiffel & Hera friendship really solidifies into the beginning of it’s wonderfulness in this episode.

[stabbysideblog]

Drown? In space? It's more likely than you think.