#cause like. for one fei du is young and that REALLY influences how he acts

[mejomonster]

On that Zhao yunlan and Luo wenzhou comparison point... Zhao yunlan might be more like fei du. At least as far as the whole:

Rich family (but Zhao yunlans is admittedly more mildly rich and influential like Luo wenzhou's, not like CEO rich)

Easily read as demiromantic (I mean fei du has 1 maybe 2 crushes ever and it takes years <3 I feel you babe. Zhao yunlan meanwhile has the issue of trying to find love, oh I feel u babe, but people never love him back or he can't click with them and it is sure Partly he's a workaholic who does secret ghost hunting work so like he has a big secret chunk of his life he hides which hurts attempting to connect. But also the whole process of going out, being a flirt and trying to optimistically date people, only to end up sad love didn't work out. I guess one could say he likes people physically attractively fast cause hey he sees Shen Wei and is like I GOTTA lock that down, murderer or not. But I'd counter maybe he's allosexual, and/or you know that whole lovers in past lives thing is working under the surface lol with a Lot of years of soul loving shen wei helping the odds.

Flirts and goes with acts of service and cute words (all 3 Zhao yunlan, fei du, and Luo wenzhou go this route actually) but their lovers are stronger and Also do this type of flirting and if both of a pair are trying to manhandle, their lovers win.

[mejomonster]

Modu chapter 5: fei du blew him a kiss

两位大爷谁也得罪不起，陶警官只好冲着无辜的夜空翻了个白眼，快步跟上骆闻舟。

走了几步，他下意识地一回头，果不其然，看见费渡正一动不动地站在原地目送他的背影，见他回头，费渡好像早料到这一幕一样，倏地一笑，伸出两根手指，在自己嘴唇上贴了一下，然后冲陶然轻轻一弹。

陶然：“……”

So the thing is. I read edanglartranslation's english translation of modu before. And I remember that while early in the story tao ran seems more like he cares for fei du... the more you learn, the more you realize Tao Ran is a realist and Luo Wenzhou's actually the one who is more open to believing Fei Du can't be capable of truly monstrous things... even when evidence implies otherwise. Luo Wenzhou acts like he assumes the worst, but hes trying very hard to push fei du onto a good path and be a good person. Knowing (some) of where fei du came from and some of the reality of his still cruel at times behavior. Whereas Tao Ran sees the fruits of fei du being influenced by luo wenzhou in a good way, and has hope for the kid, but when fei du does or seems to be involved in dark stuff well Tao Ran is less unfailingly in his court. The little girl who kills in case 2 is, as always, my favorite fei du parallel. Shes done similar to what he has done, and tao ran cant imagine saving her after all shes done or how she could even be this cruel. Luo wenzhou saw a fei du much like that little girl, and tried to help him grow into someone better than his surroundings (his dad etc). Luo wenzhou found a victim he failed to save, failed to help in time (and failed even as an older kid regarding fei du's own self harm versus what luo wenzhou didnt know), and still tried to help. And in just trying to helo, he did help fei du heal to some degrees and ultimately make some good choices and have a much better idea of his own internal morals and confidence in them.

Its always interesting to me the roles tao ran and luo wenzhou played in fei du's life abd as the story shifts what it lets you know. And as like an age gap relationship story, it actually uses that aspect to explore some really interesting perspective stuff about responsibility and blame and delusion and naivety. From luo wenzhou seeing fei du as His Responsibility to care for/help/save/fix as more than you'd ever see an adults choices (until of coursdl luo wenzhou learns to see him as an adult who now is responsible for himself), to fei du assuming unrealistically high blame and self hatred for things he isnt the cause of (because children tend to blame themselves more for tragedies in their lives and things they had no control over). Those two aspects make them very much savior/victim and hero/monster in each others eyes when they arent thinking clearly. To fei du, at his most irrational, hes a monster and its all he can be and luo wenzhou is a hero. At his most emotional, luo wenzhou sees himself as a failed savior and fei du as a victim he desperately wants to prove he can save.

They can both think clearly, but meeting when fei du was so young meant fei du took personal hatred of himself for his own trauma (and put luo wenzhou on a pedestal that luo wenzhou FELL off of by failing to help), and it meant luo wenzhou naive young detective faced the reality he cant save innocents and cant protect even if he tries and he reacted in a very controlling parent/cop way to try and fix by controlling (an interesting parallel and reverse of how fei dus dad acts - luo wenzhou punishes in ways fei du finds soothing and non threatening, luo wenzhou pressures him to be Nice, luo wenzhou lets him throw fits and hit and be a brat and be Anything versus his actual father who was terrifying if fei du actsd out even a little. Luo wenzhou is the "safe" outlet where fei du actually gets something close to a healthy upbringing, and by extension tao ran - who helps with that healthy modeling of safe authority figures because luo wenzhou pushes him to help give fei du safety and support).

Their ages when they meet develops this very particular way of using each other to heal and lean on, and then the relationship cant really bloom as romantic until luo wenzhou faces the fact fei du is an adult responsible for his Own Choices now and that luo wenzhou Cant Protect. They cant be together until fei du stops seeing luo wenzhou as a replacement for his mom - a precious person who loves him, who he fears he'll hurt or kill because his dad made him believe people he loves will die like his mom and itll be Fei Dus fault (in his head). They both have SO much baggage with each other by the time they start to try a romantic relationship. Because theyve already had each other to serve various roles and supports (and to support their own deluded way of hating themselves) for years.

Tao Ran, the realist, has had the least lies built up in his own head and least relying on those two (versus luo wenzhou who sees tao ran as a proxy wife/partner/beloved trusted person which Luo Wenzhou tends to NEED to fully trust in someone, and fei du who uses tao ran as a safe outlet to csre about... since luo wenzhou is too beloved like his own mom, too parental like his own dad, too precious to risk being close to lest fei du harms what he values). Tao Ran has his own delusions, mostly that he hurts ppl by being in their life, that he has to take on risk alone, and a lot of self sacrificing biases that are typical of a lone detective mold. If luo wenzhou is a optimist who hopes good people exist, and fei du is a pessimist who believes everyone is a monster, then tao ran is a middle view of believing its up to him (on his shoulders) to try and keep the world FROM being all monsters. And his failures crush him (where luo wenzhou can bounce back better), his hopes are fragile. As a trio the 3 of them make for an incredibly interesting story exploration.