#cause they kinda resemble antennae

[human-wof-designs]

at long last, i've designed some pantalans! i love blue, he's one of my favorite characters from wof

[tibli]

First batch of the trolls babey!!!! (explanations below)

Karkat = Crabclaw. I could not for the life of me come up with something that resembled his whole blood mutation thing, so I just kind of gave him a few mutations that are common in cats. He's got the scottish fold ears (which are supposed to look kinda like his nubby horns) and some of the toes on his paws are fused together, hence the name 'Crabclaw'. He's also a tortie, but im still undecided as to whether this is actually a mutation or he's just trans or whatever.

Kanaya = Mothear. She's white in reference to her being a rainbow drinker, and her black markings are supposed to loosely resemble makeup. Her name comes from the feathered appearance of her ears, like a moth's antennae. Also it sounds like 'mother' which is a big theme for her (and probably why she's moth themed in the webcomic in the first place tbh). With both her prophetic Skaia dreams and her desire to involve herself with others to help them, along with her whole, like, midwife thing, I think she'd make a great medicine cat.

Terezi = Eagletalon. Her name is basically a reference to the term 'legal eagle'. I decided to base her design on a somali cat, since they're about as red as a cat can get, and that's her favorite color. Instead of being blinded by sunlight, I thought in this case it would make more sense for her eyes to have been blinded by fire. The scarring of her eyes themselves is what caused the milky appearance- they weren't like that originally. She'd be an adept warrior, but others would initially underestimate her due to her blindness.

Vriska = Widowfang. Her name is a reference to black widows, and mindfang herself. Since she's a blueblood, I decided to make her a silver cat. Like in the comic, she loses both an eye and a limb, and I figure if these are cats that have medical practitioners, there's no reason an amputee cat can't have a prosthesis.

[golby-moon]

oh no I made more fakemon for people. went more with madlibs-esque prompts this time in the form of asking for a few nouns of things people like and here are the results

-

starting off with @wofiepyxie, who unwittingly started this round of fakemon by consistently having an insane word count in bang sprints (and daring to mention the word 'candy')

I pictured an admittedly more spidery spider at first but a request to not make it creepy and to go for more of a wholesome Joltik vibe made me rethink, because there are enough creepy bugs (not that spiders are bugs despite my use of the computer bug pun) in this world. candy entering my brain made me try to just make the thing look like candy, which accidentally developed a weird and probably overly complicated backstory thing for it where it's a popular Halloween decoration due to being mistaken as a piece of candy which is partly because of its eye-searing poison dart frog-y colors but mostly because that's its weird defense mechanism. it eats computer data ig idk where the typing aspect really comes in it's just a weird little guy. random thought but I think it'd be hilarious if its shiny form was just like...all black, nothing noteworthy about it at all because it's just a regular color. nobody would have any idea what it even is by looking at it

-

next is @hectatess, who had a prompt including things ranging from witches to Rottweilers

when people think of Rottweilers, they think dangerous and aggressive and like basically a hellhound (wassup Houndour line?), so naturally I had to go with the complete opposite and oh no it's baby, like just personified 🥺 with lilypads. really tried to go for a sad wet puppy vibe with this one, starting with sad pleading eyes with the wet lilypad hat just dropping down its face and ending with the ends of the darker fur that vaguely follows the pattern of a Rottweiler looking sort of weighed down with water (though it's also supposed to allude to a hanging witch robe, which it does not convey). carrying on that witch vibe is the lilypad hat, with the flower made to look like the pointy part of a witch hat though I know that it really doesn't look like that. the psychic typing was mostly inspired by the vibrant color of the flowers along with the fact that it's supposed to be witch-y. idk I don't name them but my brain is saying wetweiler which is really just a perfect summation of why I don't name the fakemon lol

-

and finally @very-offkey-kazoo, who gave me a wide range of ideas from bees to Greek mythology to vines to snakes to knives... so lots of creative freedom here which is fun in a chaotic sort of way

I was originally gonna go for a rock type that's like idk inspired by Greek something and is covered in vines but the brain said stabby wasp thing so stabby wasp thing it is. no but I definitely overused the knife motif (and the sharp lines in general to kinda imply speed as well as sharpness) I think between the gradually sharper arms and the needle-like antennae and then the legit just knife-shaped wings but ehhh. surprisingly I actually took more inspiration from the Pawniard line than the Scyther one which is probably the cause of the repeating knife shapes, but more than that, I went for a knight vibe almost and gave it chitin not unlike a weirdly overly shiny suit of armor that's pinched off in the middle to resemble the way the abdomen and thorax of a lot of bugs are connected. as for the Greek part...idk maybe think gladiator like I didn't until two seconds ago? either way, this thing could probably protect a labyrinth or something regardless of its unspecified size, since small bugs are creepy and big bugs are horrifying. do what you want with that thought ig (side note but the color reminds me of honey mustard and I can think of nothing else now)

-

I think these at least look like pokemon so they turned out okay. I learned from last time (stained glass skirt thing I'm talking about you) and didn't over complicate the designs this time and did try to make their typing more obvious through colors and shapes like the official pokemon do

(for anyone that didn't notice, the first round of fakemon is linked up at the top of this post)

I apparently make fakemon now so uh idk anybody that wants one can message me I guess yay

(09/15/23)

[virovac]

Since I doubt Toho would let you raise Godzilla, here’s the kaiju I’d expect

If we did get a crossover DLC with a Ultra Kaiju Monster Rancher sequel, I’d expect like Ultraman he would unplayable as Godzilla “cannot be tamed”. 

Still I think you could have fun by making Godzilla a special errantry trainer., able to teach kaiju techniques from the movies such as

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(a support move that alters stats, obviously)

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and the  Energy pulse punch (Gabara and Godzilla Vs Spacegodzilla inspired).

Now here’s my ideas for trainable monsters, and how I would justify them to Toho.

I would imagine unlike the Ultra Kaiju subbreeds would be less texture swaps and more new textures with similar themes to other fusion component, and a naming system with new adjetives in front of monster type. So  subbreeds, if allowed would probably reference past toy releases with colors that differed from film.

Godzilla Jr

The adolescent or young-adult  form of Godzilla’s less mutated (at first) adopted kid from the 90s film. Spent days in imprinting on humans lab so thematically better for being raised than a full-blown Godzilla while still letting players have some sort of Godzilla.

Could have Holly note it resembles a cross between Godzilla and a Dino from monster rancher.

And could use his “atomic bubbles” from his “Little Godzila” stage of development as a withering attack

And their psychic telepathy powers (shown by eyes glowing red) in their appearance as baby could inspire support-techniques

Titanosaurus

[my translation from  Definitive edition Godzilla Monster Illustration Super Encyclopedia (TV Magazine Deluxe 28)]

A human controlled Kaiju from the 80s , said to have been a peaceful creature prior to the mad scientist researching them turned abusive and teamed up with aliens and sent the mind controlled sea monster to attack Japan alongside Mechagodzilla.. A mirror to Godzilla, a natural prehistoric creature turned into a rampaging beast by malice rather than negligence. 

Can create electromagnetic whirlwinds with tailfan giving it range, something that one of my other runner up choices, Anguirus, was lacking.

Those antennae by the way, are implied by some possible concept art as being artificially implanted into the brain, or at the very least have mind control implants inserted into their bases. So some transmission-icon support techniques as well maybe

Jet Jaguar (Singular Point)

Fits very well in “raising a monster”” thematically, being a product of experiences,. And the A.I system it uses was intended for more than just robot piloting, and always demands a name from its owner once installed.

There also color variants as basis for sub-breeds from an old puppet show called Godzilla Island.

Anguirus (added)

Anguirurus of the showa era is one of the most easy monsters for humanity to deal with despite his power and fighting spirit, the two individuals in the Showa Era can be lured away by flares or repelled with military just making clear not welcome.

So works well having a human “coach”

Could be given a trait that gives a chance of causing recoil damage when pushed away by other kaiju to represent spikes.

While no projectiles, Anguirus has range with a relatively harmless sonic howl in Godzilla Raids again that can slowly destroy wooden buildings, could be a withering attack that lowers the Guts/Fighting spirit of the opponent..  For other long range attacks see his  jumping attack from when fought mechagodzilla, and the backwards leap used against Ghidrah in Godzilla vs Gigan.

Spikes could be represented a trait/cookie that sometimes causes inflicts recoil damage when pushed back by the opponent

Longer reaches

Mothra (Monsterverse ) - Kinda reaching

Hardest to fit in actually do to the “Mothra does not rage” stance Toho has taken in past videogames. I feel giving Mothra Imago a “never rampages” trait might be potentially gamebreaking. And they might state that the adult form of Mothra having tantrums is out of character for a creature meant to be mature and wise.

Still this incarnation has most easy version of Mothra to fit into the combat system, and implied to have human priestesses/caretakers in past.

Metamorphoses system similar to Wurm in Monster Rancher 2. 

(Honestly wondering if new designs combining personality and features of multiple iterations rather than being faithful to the screen like the Ultra Kaiju might be the best bet for the crossover. Because Showa Mothra could definitely tantrum,  but lacks a larval form  that’s upright enough. And Angui)

Mechagodzilla (Showa)

Feels less likely, but I feel like it could also be a story event villain you unlock by defeating

Gigan and Megalon

I oddly  suspect these two would be the hardest to get approval for despite fitting the tone well. Gigan is alien-controlled and Megalon despite being worshipped as a god is well, directed  like a toddler by worshippers. They wave shiny thing in his face to get him pointed in the right direction  

However, unlike the others they don’t really have name changes and have pretty much always been unique individual rather than a species name or going through name changes from developing and growing. (Gigan Miles and Gigan Rex from the 2022 short film feel unlikely as a justification )

[tomopri]

time for another abno oc *thumbs up* This one is tied to two of my other ones (puck and chainsaw; she's actually. chainsaw's mom + puck's sister. dw about possibility i'm literally just doing whatever at this point)

decided morgan would get smth kinda like you'd see on the wiki or in the encyclopedia so here we go (will be reiterating some stuff from the image);

The Green Lady (sometimes referred to as Morgan; it's not stated clearly as to why, but it's assumed as a reference to The Green Lady from Arthurian legend.)

Subject Classification: F-01-65

E-Boxes: 10

Attack Type: BLACK (1~2)

Risk Level: ZAYIN

This Abnormality is Capable of Instadeath

This Abnormality is Capable of Employee Alteration

This Abnormality can Benefit the Facility

Good Mood Range: 8-10

Norm Mood Range: 6-7

Bad Mood Range: 0-5

"Have you seen him? What have they done with my baby brother?" - The Green Lady's Entry

The Green Lady (F-01-65), also known as Morgan, is a pale woman in a ragged, green dress with plants for limbs; branches as her left arm and leg, and vines as her right. She has short blonde hair with two pigtail-like bits of hair and a very small 'antenna' piece of hair. There are leaves growing out of her face. She has severely damaged wings, with her right having part of it replaced by a large piece of leaf.

Rather than standing in the center of her containment, she rests on her knees in the corner.

Ability

Her special ability is triggered once any work is finished, though the effect differs based on the result. After a Good work result, she grants the employee a crown that appears to resemble a small wreath. The crown heals +12 SP and +7 HP every few seconds (2~4) and remains until the end of the day. After a Normal work result, she grants the employee a necklace that resembles the branches of her left side. The necklace heals +6 SP and +7 HP every few seconds (3~6). After a Bad work result, she grants the employee a vine wrapped around one of their arms. The vine heals +2 SP every 10 seconds, but severely lowers their work success rate.

Getting two bad results in a row will cause the vines to rapidly engulf the employee(s) and suffocate them. The employee will be considered Dead near the beginning of the animation.

If more than 5 employees (not counting The False Fae/Puck/F-01-38, if he's in the facility) obtain the gift, they will all take decent White Damage (15~20) for the next few seconds (anywhere from 3 to 6 seconds, with damage occurring each second) before all gifts are removed. All of these gifts will disappear once the day is completed.

When an employee who finished a task with The False Fae works on The Green Lady, the success rate goes up by 20%.

Sending The False Fae to work with The Green Lady has a guaranteed perfect P.E. output

Origin

Despite being named after Morgan Le Fay from the Legend of King Arthur, she appears to have no ties to the story. Showed up at the corporation on her own, dragging herself in on barely functioning legs while calling for her 'baby brother'. She claims this is the place 'those monsters' dragged him.

Details

The Green Lady responds to the four works in order of best to worst: Attachment, Insight, Instinct, and Repression.

Like all Abnormalities, her energy output is determined by the number of PE Boxes at the end of the interaction.

im notdoing the rest of this right now this already took way longer than i expected LMAO

[greenbeansartgallery]

Rosy Maple Moth

Artwork done by @otomotoelzhinee​ Sig finds a beautiful friend and introduces it to Carmen.

Sig was glad he forgot to come back home before curfew as the sky was shifting from cool blue of day to fire orange of dusk. To think a fluffy insect, he hasn’t seen before graced him it’s presence and now he gets to share his discovery with Carmen the next day. She gasps at the sight of this beauty standing and looking up at the two in the palm of his hand cupped with her own.

To get a better look, the entomophile pulled her closer with his large red claw by her upper back hoping not to catch her wings in the process. They were very close, but he didn't mind the lack of gap between them.

The combination of royal yellow and rose pink was so stunning from the round wings to the fluffy honey body which she caressed with her finger feeling the softness while trying to avoid touching the delicate striped wings.

Carmen looked at him as to ask.

"Dryocampa rubicunda." He responded without breaking eye contact on the moth. He didn't have to look at her to know she needed a translation but let him carry on. "Rosy Maple Moth. It's part of the Saturniidae family. As the name implies the host trees they like to go to are maple trees like red maple, silver maple and sugar maple for the eggs they lay on the leaves to be fed on. The eggs hatch into catapillars called greenstriped mapleworms."

He heard Carmen giggle softly as he educated her about their new friend resting on their hands even if it was a first minute study upon arriving home after his discovery. As monotonous as he sounded, there was passion behind his lecture which Carmen and everyone he knew was aware of.

It was nice to hear she liked seeing him go on like this patiently listening as always. He appreciated that about her. "I found it last night. Was late to curfew because I lost track."

"It must have been worth it, then. It's really beautiful, Sig." She replied looking at the Rosy Maple Moth smiling.

Sig hummed in an agreement. It was worth having Mr. Akuma scolding him for being late to curfew, especially if it means he catches a new friend and show it off to his friends and to her.

"You know. The colours remind me of Amitie quite a bit, don't you think?" Carmen says causing him to take his eyes off the moth to her instead, dropping his smile in curiosity.

"Oh?"

She returns his gaze with her own smile remaining. "It's the colours, Ami wears yellow and pink. If the Rosy Maple Moth had some orange, it'll resemble Raffina the most." She giggled, it was a nice sound other than her singing.

Now that she mentioned it, the yellow and pink moth did remind Sig of his blonde best friend, his smile returns. "It kinda does look a bit like Amitie." "What gender do you think the moth could be?" They looked at the dual-coloured insect once again. "From what I looked up from the books, the males have narrower and less round wings, and they have bipectinate antennae while the female have simple ones."  Carmen understood as she notices the moth had the details Sig described especially the comb like strands on both sides of the antennae. "So this is a male Rosy Maple Moth?" "Yep."  "Awww, that's a shame, I was hoping we would name the moth after Ami~" Carmen feigning disappointment, this causes the teal haired male to briefly chuckle at the statement.   "That would be nice."  "Have you shown her and the others your new pretty friend?"   "No, I wanted to show you the Dryocampa rubicunda, first."  The platinum blonde's cheeks went rosey as the beautiful moth and beamed at the entomophile with affection. “Aww, thank you. Though you do realise I'll have to write all of this information including that name down, right?"  Sig returns her gaze once again with a simple smile with a bit of cheek behind it, "Yep."

[thelastspeecher]

Stan Falls in Love With a Frog

We started talking about a new Scenario in the Discord, and it’s been making me very happy, especially since the Scenario takes place in a Mystery Trio-style AU, and I’m a big fan of the Mystery Trio AU.  So, I whipped this up earlier.  Enjoy.

——————————————————————————————

              Stan sat on the edge of the dock, looking out over the water of Lake Gravity Falls.  In the fading light, mist curled above the lake surface.  He sighed and reeled his fishing line back in.

              Dammit.  I shoulda got here earlier if I wanted to catch anything.  Stan wasn’t opposed to night fishing in general, but he was opposed to it in Gravity Falls.  He had seen in person some of the weird things that came out when it got dark.  Something surfaced in the lake, breaking the thin layer of fog.  Speaking of…  Stan idly watched it swim.  Wonder what kinda spookum this one is.  The creature pulled itself out of the lake and onto a large rock.  Stan’s jaw dropped.  That’s a chick!

              It was rapidly getting darker, so he couldn’t make out many fine details.  But the creature looked eerily like a human woman.  With the exception of elongated, webbed feet and ears, what looked like a pair of antennae, and mottled skin.  She pushed back her short hair with hands that also seemed to be webbed.

              What the hell is that?  Stan leaned, squinting, trying to get a better look. The movement knocked his tacklebox into the lake.

              “Shit!” he swore.  The woman looked over.  Her eyes, glowing a soft blue, widened.  She dove back into the lake.  Stan sighed. “Great.”  He got to his feet and trudged back to the Stanleymobile. Before he got in, he glanced back at the lake.  The water was as smooth as glass.

              It was like the woman had never been there.

-----

              Stan returned to Lake Gravity Falls the next morning at the break of dawn.  Normally, he wouldn’t wake up so early just to go fishing, but Ford and Fiddlenerd had a full day of traipsing around in the forest planned.  If he wanted to actually have enough time to catch something, he needed to fish before, not after.

              If Fiddlenerd’s weird little sister wasn’t visiting, this wouldn’t be a problem.  Stan sat down at the edge of the dock and opened the tacklebox he’d “borrowed” from Fiddlenerd.  But Fiddlenerd wants someone with actual muscles to be there to protect her from whatever’s in the woods today.  There was a loud thunk to his left.  Stan looked over.  He gaped. The tacklebox he’d dropped in the lake yesterday sat next to him.

              “What the hell?”  Stan opened the tacklebox to inspect its contents.  It was soaked through, which made sense, given it had been at the bottom of the lake the night before.  But other than his fresh bait, nothing was missing.  “How did-”  There was a soft splash.  Stan looked up.  A creature was in front of him.

              It’s that one lady from yesterday.  She was mostly submerged, with only her eyes and the crown of her head above the water.  Her hair was a black that, like her light green skin, blended in with the lake. She looks sorta like a frog.

              “You brought me my tacklebox,” Stan said.  The frog woman nodded.  “Why?”  She hesitated, then sunk underwater.  Stan waited for a few minutes to see if she would come back up.  When she didn’t return, he sighed and began to set things up to fish.

              The missing bait makes sense now.  Of course a frog would eat all my worms.

-----

              “It’s about time!”

              “Yeah, yeah, nice to see you too,” Stan groused, pushing past Ford and into the house.  He’d spent more time than he meant to fishing.  Naturally, the moment he came back home, Ford got on his case.

              “We were supposed to leave an hour ago! Today’s plans are completely ruined!” Ford said.  Stan rolled his eyes.

              “Walking around in the woods isn’t something that takes all day, Poindexter.”

              “The specific location Fiddleford and I were going to take his sister to is quite some distance away.”

              “It’s fine, Stanford,” said the aforementioned sister of Fiddlenerd.  She was laying on the living room couch, reading a guidebook on amphibians of the Pacific Northwest.  “I was hopin’ to check out some of the cute places in town, anyways.”  She smiled at Ford.  “The forest can wait fer tomorrow.”

              “I- but-” Ford started.

              “Before you short-circuit, Sixer, I’ve got a question,” Stan interrupted.  Ford glared at him.  “So, I saw this frog-lady at the lake-”

              “Frog-lady?” Ford scoffed.  Out of the corner of his eye, Stan saw Fiddlenerd’s sister still. “Are you mocking me?”

              “What?  No!  I thought you liked weird shit.  I mean, you came up here to study it and dragged me along to be your muscle.”

              “I like magical creatures, Stanley,” Ford said, crossing his arms.  “Not regular humans who have features you might think resemble an amphibian.”

              “She wasn’t a regular human!”

              “There are no humanoid amphibious creatures around here,” Ford said firmly.  “There is, however, a woman in town who was born with webbing between her fingers and couldn’t afford the surgery to get it removed.  I think it’s rather cruel of you to make fun of her.”

              “No, I wasn’t-”  Stan sighed.  “Whatever.”

              “Go upstairs and change,” Ford instructed.  “You smell of fish.”

              “Like you’re one to talk, Mr. Doesn’t Shower For a Week,” Stan muttered.  Fiddlenerd’s sister snickered softly.  He began to walk upstairs.  “At least someone around here’s got a sense of humor.”

-----

              Though he had returned to the lake at dusk that day, Stan hadn’t seen the frog-lady.  He came back the next morning at dawn, hoping to spot her again.  As he sat at the end of the dock, he found himself dozing off, lulled into sleep by the early hour and peaceful surroundings.  He was jolted back to wakefulness by a splash nearby.

              “You came back,” a voice said.  Stan looked up.  It was the frog-lady.  Her head was now fully emerged from the water.  She looked at him with intelligent blue eyes.  Though her face was one shade of pale green, the rest of her head was mottled with darker greens.  Her nose was thin and flat, evidently nonhuman.

              “Well, yeah,” Stan said with a shrug.  He could feel his heart pounding in his chest.  “I’ve gotta thank you for giving me back my stuff.”

              “It’s yours.  Why would I keep it?” the frog-lady asked.  Her voice was lilting and musical, sounding almost like raindrops hitting leaves.  And yet, there was something about it that seemed familiar.  Like he’d heard her talk before.

              “I dunno.  ‘Cause you could?”

              “Heh.”  The frog-lady smiled.  “I don’t really have a need for human things.”

              “What are you?” Stan blurted out.  The frog-lady froze.  “Wait, shit, was that racist of me or something?”  The frog-lady nodded silently.  “I take it back.”  He cleared his throat.  “My name’s Stan.  What’s yours?”

              I don’t wanna scare her off.  She might be a frog, but she’s pretty cute.

              “…Rana,” the frog-lady said after a moment.

              “That’s pretty.”

              “Thanks.”  Rana chewed on her lip for a moment.  “Why do you want to talk to me?”

              “What do you mean?”

              “I know what your brother does.”  Rana’s eyes bored into Stan.  “I know he likes to study critters like me, with or without their consent.  Are you collecting data for him?”

              “Please.”  Stan waved a hand airily.  “Even if he and Fiddlenerd were both in full-body casts, he wouldn’t want me to collect data for him.”  Rana managed a small smile.  “He’d probably hire some weirdo from town to do it instead.”  Rana snickered softly.  Like her voice, it sounded familiar.  A car engine roared to life, the sound echoing across the lake.  Stan looked over.  Someone had pulled into the parking lot.  He looked back at Rana.

              She was gone, only a few ripples remaining on the surface where she’d been.

-----

              Stan paced in the living room.  It had been a week since he learned Rana’s name, and many more meetings with her at dawn.  And to his shock, he was beginning to fall for her.

              Sure, she’s not human.  Sure, she hasn’t come out of the water all the way yet.  But she’s nice and funny and teases me when I say something racist against frogs.  Stan smiled fondly, remembering how he had brought her worms yesterday, only for her to throw them at him.  I like a lady who doesn’t take any shit.  He frowned. She doesn’t like worms…what does she like?  I’ve gotta impress her if I’m gonna make a move on her.  She gets spooked so easily.

              “Stanley,” Fiddlenerd said wearily.  Stan stopped.  He looked over at the card table in the corner, where Fiddlenerd was working on some sort of machine.  “Yer goin’ to wear a hole in the wood if ya don’t stop pacin’!”

              “Nah, let him keep goin’,” Fiddlenerd’s sister said. Once again, she was on the couch reading a book about amphibians.  “Maybe he’ll pick up the pace and start a fire.”  She smirked at Stan, who merely rolled his eyes in response.

              “What are you still doing here?” he asked. Fiddlenerd’s sister shrugged.

              “I like it here.  I’ll stay until Fidds kicks me out.”

              “So, you’re never gonna leave,” Stan said flatly. Fiddlenerd’s sister snorted in amusement.  Stan sighed. He looked back at Fiddlenerd.  “Do you know anything about frogs?”  Bringing up frogs to Ford only resulted in him scolding Stan, no matter how Stan phrased his questions.  Fiddlenerd shook his head.

              “No.  But Angie does.”

              “Who’s Angie?”

              “Wh-”  Fiddlenerd set down his wrench, staring at Stan.  “My sister!” Stan looked at Fiddlenerd’s sister, apparently named Angie.  She waved at him cheerfully.  “She’s been here fer over a week and ya haven’t even learned her name yet?”

              “It didn’t come up,” Stan said with a shrug. Ignoring Fiddlenerd’s sputtering, he sat down next to Angie.  “So. Your name is Angie.”

              “Yes.  It is.”

              “It’s a lot more normal than Fiddlenerd’s name,” Stan remarked.  Fiddlenerd let out a squawk of protest.  Angie sighed.

              “Spit it out.  What do ya want?”

              “Do you know about frogs?”

              “I certainly hope I do, since my doctorate is in herpetology,” Angie said tartly.  Stan frowned at her.  “The study of reptiles and amphibians.”

              “Ah.  Okay.” Stan scooted a bit closer.  His nose picked up on a faint pondwater smell coming from Angie.  She eyed him warily.  “What do frogs like?”

              “What do-”  Angie stared at him.  “What?”

              “You heard me.  What do frogs like?”

              “I mean, it depends on the frog.”  Angie rubbed the back of her neck.  “What do ya need to know this for?”

              “There’s this frog-lady that I met-”

              “Oh, pish posh,” Angie scoffed.  “I’ve heard ‘bout yer frog-lady from Stanford.  He says that she don’t exist.”

              “And you’re just gonna believe him?”

              “I ain’t an expert in the wildlife ‘round here. Stanford is.  I don’t really have a choice but to take him at his word.”

              “Where’s that famous herpetology skepticism?” Stan asked.  Angie rolled her eyes and got up, setting her book on the nearby end table.

              “I’m goin’ fer a walk,” she said.  “If I see any frog-ladies, I’ll let ya know.”

              Great.  She was my best shot at advice for Rana.  I mean, she knows frogs and she’s a woman!  Stan’s eyes landed on Angie’s book.  Hmm…  He picked it up.  There was a bookmark.  He thumbed to the bookmarked page.  It was the beginning of a chapter on a specific genus called Rana.  Huh.

              “That’s weird,” Stan muttered out loud.

              “What?” Fiddlenerd asked.

              “None of your business,” Stan shot at him. Fiddlenerd rolled his eyes and went back to working on his machine.

              My frog-lady has the same name as a kind of frog. Makes sense.  Stan looked over at Angie, who was putting her shoes on by the front door.  But why was Angie looking up that kind of frog?

-----

              Rana giggled at Stan’s latest terrible joke. Stan beamed.

              “Glad you’ve got a sense of humor,” he said. Rana smiled.  Car tires crunched on gravel.  Stan didn’t have to look to know that it was the arrival of the early fishermen.  After two weeks talking to Rana, he’d developed a routine.  He would sit at the edge of the dock and wait for her to emerge, then the two would chat until the first fishermen showed up.  Stan sighed.  “Same time tomorrow?” he asked Rana.  Rana nodded. She dipped underwater.

              Stan got up and made his way down the dock, ignoring the fishermen who clearly thought he was insane to be at the lake so early for no apparent reason.  He walked over to where he normally parked the Stanleymobile, only to remember he’d parked by the edge of the forest that day.

              “Great decision-making, past Stan,” he mumbled idly. “Parking where the gnomes could bite through your brake lines again.”  He went to the Stanleymobile.  Before he opened the door, however, he heard a large splash and leaves rustling nearby. A voice swore softly.

              That sounded like Rana.  Stan tucked his car keys back into his pocket and went into the woods, following the sound of Rana’s voice.  He arrived at a small clearing at the edge of the lake.  Rana had pulled herself onto shore.  Stan stared at her.  It was the first time he was seeing below her neck up close; he’d only seen her full body once before, back when he knocked his tacklebox into the lake.  Her front was the same pale green as her face, with darker greens mottling around her sides and back.  The texture of her skin looked soft and slimy.  Despite her hourglass figure, she was fairly flat-chested.

              I mean.  She is a frog.  Why would she have boobs?  Rana pulled herself up into a seated position, leaning against a tree trunk.  Stan stared at her long, flipper-like feet.  No wonder she swims so fast.  Suddenly, her feet began to shrink.  Stan’s eyes widened, watching Rana’s flippers change to pale, human feet.  His eyes widened further as he realized that her feet weren’t the only thing changing. Before his eyes, Rana was transforming from a frog-lady into a naked human woman.  One that Stan recognized.

              Rana got up and grabbed a pile of clothing from behind the tree, mumbling to herself.  A twig snapped under Stan’s foot.  Rana’s head shot up.  She stared at Stan in horror.

              “Stan?!” she squeaked.  Stan swallowed.

              Damn, her nose gets flat when she’s a frog.

              “Hey, Angie.”

[ka-writes]

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Notes: haha I did a semi short chapter... sorry... also this is chapter 4 of my space AU..

ALSO READ THE DAMN WARNINGS. Thank you ☺️

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Incase you missed:

Chapter 1:

Chapter 2:

Chapter 3:

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Inspired by:

Humans are Space Velociraptors

By:FreshRoses_InMyGarden_NeedTheRain

Some kids come from storks, others come from crashed spaceships

By: mmmajora

Home Again, Home Again

By: teeth_eater

All works can be found on Ao3

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Warning: Mentions of abuse (physical verbal and sexual) there aren’t any graphic recalls it is simply mentions. Mentions of being beaten up. Mentions of knives and blood. Threatening characters, and character pain. Again characters being trapped and not going home. Cussing. Characters passing out. Characters being distressed characters being malnourished. Yea I kinda was in an angsty mode sooo.... here you go..

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Ao3 link:

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“Humans are [Add text here]”

Chapter 4: I guess it qualifies as an introduction?

Phil wasn’t expecting to wake up at 4 in the morning to the sound of laughter.

It wouldn’t be the first time, definitely not the last.

Curiously the avian poked his head into his kids’ room. The laughter wasn’t coming from the gardener, guard, or scientist. The laughter was coming from the assistant who wasn’t in their room. Phil turned his attention down the hall. Sure enough the laughter was louder. Quietly he made his way to the holding cell. Phil sat in a smaller hallway and decided to listen into the conversation… What can he say? He always eavesdropped..

“What even is a you-tube?” The assistant asked through small giggles. To that the human gasped as if he was hurt by the statement.

“You don’t have YouTube?! Or like an alien version of it?!” The human replied, not even trying to hide his shock.

“Erm no?”

“Well it’s like this thing that humans use to make really cool videos and stuff.”

“What’s a video?” Ranboo interrupted.

“They’re kinda like moving photos that usually work as a sort of entertainment or info dump. I could probably tell you thousands of the times my stupid teacher made me watch ‘educational’ videos..”

“So they’re kinda like illusions?”

“Yea but you don’t see 'em in 3D. As I was saying, before I was rudely interrupted..” The enderian let out a small squeak of embarrassment at that, “YouTube is like a thing people use to post videos on. I am totally making an alien version of YouTube when I get out.” The air stiffened at that.

“Tommy.. you probably won’t get out for a while…” Ranboo said, Phil heard one of them shift and the entire atmosphere lost it’s warmth, “It’s not like you won’t get out! It’s just hard… especially when no one really trusts you yet.” Ranboo swallowed, as he usually does when he is uncomfortable, “Even when we let you out of the holding cell.. you probably won’t be allowed off the ship. It’s too dangerous for all of us..” the two fell into a deafening silence. Phil shivered at the tension, making sure to be silent while doing so.

“I assumed as much…” the human started, being the first to break the silence, “I-I… I guess I won’t be going home either… since the ISF absolutely hates us.. plus like you said, only already crazy humans are sent back..” the human sighed sadly.. For the first time Phil felt sympathetic towards a human. With that he decided it was time to start on breakfast.

——————

Three things happened after Tubbo woke up.

One, Ranboo passed out at the table. Phil simply shook his head and picked up the enderian with some unknown strength to the rest of the crew.

Two, a scream was heard from the other side of the ship, causing Wilbur to frantically run to the holding cell.

Three, Techno put his milk in before he poured his tea… I mean who does that?

Ignoring the last strange thing, Tubbo went to check on Ranboo. He was fine, so Phil said. “He only needs rest. Leave them be.” Was what Tubbo got as he peered into the enderian’s room. Shrugging off the weird behavior Tubbo made his way to the garden.

Before he made his way to the garden he noticed the human wasn’t in the holding cell. That meant he was probably in the lab… Which meant Tubbo would have to meet him.. Oh prime no. That’s not gonna happen.

He started sprinting to the garden. It was just passed the lab if only he took another step-

“Tubbo, I need your help.” Wilbur said from behind him. The droneling turned around reluctantly. Holding his breath he made his way into the medical part of the lab.

[gore and distressed characters, skim if you need to]

There, laying on the bed, was a human. He held back a scream which came out as a labored gasp. Sweat was bubbling on his forehead. With that he turned to Wilbur who examined the human from a distance.

“Go get some bandages and the stitching kit.” Wilbur commanded. Without hesitation Tubbo ran to grab the items. Wilbur took both objects and disinfected a bad cut on the human’s arm. He hadn’t even realized there was a cut until Wilbur cleared off the strange red blood. Wilbur then proceeds to stitch the wound and bandage the irritated wound.

That’s when Tubbo noticed the amount of blood the human lost. Most species wouldn’t be able to handle that much blood loss, but here was the beast of the galaxy, completely fine in a matter of minutes after losing quite a bit of blood.

[End]

When Wilbur was satisfied, he picked the human up and carried him back to the holding cell. Tubbo was unable to stop himself from following. Before thinking the droneling sat at the table and watched as Wilbur finished cleaning the human.

“Er.. do you want me to grab Techno so you can stay in here?” Wilbur asked, noticing Tubbo sitting in the corner.

Without saying a word Tubbo gave a small nod. Wil didn’t push like he usually did and left to get Techno.

Tubbo got up and approached the sleeping human. He was skinnier than what Tubbo thought humans should be. There were odd dark circles under his eyes and his hair clearly hadn’t had a good wash for what looked like months. He had injuries over his body and was practically shaking in his sleep.

Since Tubbo was preoccupied, he barely noticed Techno enter, or the door closing. Let alone the clangs and thuds from other crew mates.

He was preoccupied by the strange human who was sleeping in front of him.

The human stirred and the droneling stumbled away.

After a few seconds the human sat up and looked at the now fallen droneling.

“What the fuck?”

——————

Tommy didn’t expect another alien to push their luck in his space. But here he was.

The alien was smaller than Tommy by a lot. Further proving Tommy was the biggest man. Unlike the other aliens this one wasn’t threatening upon first glance.

The one from last night had been way more intimidating at first. Being way taller than Tommy and having weird lanky limbs and magical purple glowing orbs surrounding them. They had horns and a half and half complexion. One half of the alien being white with grey and purple freckles along with a red eye. The other half being a purplish black with grey and green freckles along with a green eye. They wore a suit with a red tie and dress shoes. He also had two tails of the same colors as his complexion. All of this being forgotten after they stammered through their introduction. It was honestly hilarious.

This alien was very different from the others. They had brown messy hair, encasing black antennas and small black bumps that resembled horns. Their skin was a honey peach color and practically glistened. There were strange hexagon patterns over their face along with three black stripes on either side of their face. They had bee wings, which was the only thing Tommy could relate to the alien too. There was also a black fuzzy tail, similar to a stinger, poking out of their pants. Their hands were lanky and pointed, completely black. There was also soft yellow fuzz poking out of their sleeves and holes in their pants. They wore ripped jeans along with a long sleeved green button down shirt. Their eyes were another thing entirely, being a honey brown in certain light but could also shift to a greenish blue in other light. They had fly-like pupils.

After a minute of them sitting in an awkward stance the alien got up. Using their wings to properly position them in a standing position. They brushed themselves off and approached Tommy.

“You lay a finger on anyone here and I will kill you. Understand?” The alien said, any intimidation that was lost from the alien falling was regained in an instant. The alien poked him in the chest with one of the lanky fingers, which started burning like acid after a minute.

Since Tommy was too, sacred, poggers to move he simply nodded, which is absolutely the best response to the situation. Sadly the alien didn’t get the gesture and dug their nail into his chest even more. Seriously, it was starting to really burn.

“Y-yes.” Was all Tommy could muster. The alien was satisfied with the answer and let go of Tommy. They walked out of the now open door. Shortly after Techno followed the door closing behind him. Tommy never realized the other alien was in the room.

[Mentions of abuse]

For a split second the interaction reminded him of his dad.

The way his dad did the same thing to his mom when she didn’t listen.

Or when his sister didn’t follow his dad’s friend.

Or when Tommy made a mistake.

Except instead of a nail, it was glass, or a punch, or sometimes a knife…

[End]

He shook off the thoughts and reminded himself that the aliens weren’t his father, nor were they going to do that to him.

They wouldn’t do that right?.. Right?

Tommy slapped his face, only to find there were silent tears flowing down his cheeks. He quickly wiped his cheeks and continued his train of thought.

Tommy trusted too easily. That in the end is how at nine he ended up getting beat up in his first foster home. He condemned himself for trusting the aliens. They were strangers. He knew nothing of them and they knew more about him. This was the moment in which Tommy shut himself off. Where he regained the ability to leave his blind trusting instincts.

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Chapter 4- End

Words: 1633

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Notes: I didn’t know what to add next so I decided to leave you here. Your welcome! <3

Again hope you enjoyed! Now go eat food, drink water, take a shower if you haven’t, and go to sleep. Stay safe, love ya! <3

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Tubbo: *falls out of fear

Tommy: ._. This dude ain’t intimidating

Tubbo: *threatens Tommy

Tommy: ,:^ never mind then...

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Reminder likes are appreciated but reblogs are better!!

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[dweetwise]

presenting the weirdest and crackiest but also fluffiest shit i’ve ever written, i bring you nearly 5k words of riconti snail au snippets. if you haven’t seen @skllyr‘s adorable art about them, you should!

ship: felix x ace warnings: none word count: 4850

Felix X Ace: Love is stored in the snail

Ace Visconti thought he’d seen it all; from lavish spectacles of prestigious poker tournaments to the dangerous underworld he inevitably ended up involved with, and finally to a realm where the laws of nature meant nothing and death wasn’t permanent. But what eventually takes the cake for Weirdest Shit Ace Has Ever Seen isn’t one of the otherworldly monsters hunting him or seeing one of his numerous wounds heal up right before his eyes; it’s a snail. A goddamn snail. It just appears at the campfire one day, sitting on top of a medkit Dwight reaches for and causing the boy to yelp in surprise once he sees the small stowaway. Ace doesn’t quite understand why everyone is suddenly so eager to take a closer look at a random slug instead of hearing one of his exciting and totally-not-embellished stories, but he joins the small commotion forming around the snail nonetheless. And then he suddenly sees why. The snail not only has an eye-catching light blue shell with a gaudy flamingo pattern on it, it’s also dressed up in tiny sunglasses and a baseball cap between its antennas. Ace looks down at his own pastel blue flamingo sweater and fidgets self-consciously with his shades, wondering whether he should bring up the uncanny likeness— “Is it just me, or does the snail look Ace?” Laurie asks, glancing between Ace and the bug with furrowed eyebrows. “No, I… definitely see a resemblance,” Dwight says. “What should we name it?” Claudette asks. “I mean it's a snail that looks like Ace, so… Snace?” Nea suggests. “Snace it is!” Meg decides, snickering at Ace’s misfortune. “I'm glad you're having fun,” Ace snorts, glaring at the snail for stealing his spotlight. The girls hurry to make a home for the snail in the medkit, which Ace finds all kinds of ridiculous. They give it some bandages and twigs to hide and "play" in, whatever the fuck that means for a snail, and Claud gives it edible flowers to nibble on.

Ace tries his best to ignore the snail, but when he gets back from a trial and sees some of the group passing it between their hands and taking turns to hold it, he can’t help watching them. It’s Dwight’s turn now, their leader cradling the snail in his hands and looking way too happy with the situation. “Do you want to try?” Dwight asks, noticing Ace's staring. “Uhh… sure," Ace says, not having the heart to ruin everyone’s good mood. He goes to grab the snail from Dwight's hand, lifting it by the obnoxiously colored shell— “Not like that, you absolute moron!” Jake snaps, slapping Ace's hand away. “You're going to hurt him. You need to slide him off, not lift upwards,” Jake explains, showing how to do it, plopping the snail down on Ace's hand. It's… slimy and kind of gross. The snail seems confused, feeling around with its antennas. And then, it slowly starts to slither forward. “It's kinda cute,” Ace realizes, watching the little snail face with its little shades. It's the coolest snail he's ever seen for sure, but he wouldn't expect anything less from his doppelgänger. “You go, little guy,” Ace encourages the snail, poking it gently on its shell in encouragement. The snail wobbles a bit, and then its tiny face turns to look at Ace, and— “Ew, it pooped on me!” Ace realizes and Dwight chokes on a laugh while Jake smirks smugly and removes Snace from his hand. Ace could just be imagining it, but the snail looks way too pleased with himself.

Other survivors join and, sooner or later, everyone except Ace seems to fall in love with Snace. “He's just like Ace,” their newest teammate, Kate, comments. “What's that supposed to mean, Sunshine?” Ace challenges playfully. “He's a little slimey but everyone still loves him!” Kate smiles brightly and Ace’s witty comeback dies on his tongue at the unexpected heartfelt remark.

And eventually, when their small group has expanded to over twenty people, there's Felix. And no matter how hard he tries, Ace can’t help sneaking glances at the serious German. He’s tall. Blond. Handsome. Rich. Smart. Did he say handsome? Oh, and Felix hates Snace. “This is our pet snail, Snace!” Steve introduces with an excited grin while giving Felix the tour of their modest campgrounds. “A… snail?” Felix frowns. “Yeah! Do you wanna hold him?” Steve asks, already reaching his hand into the medkit. “No!” Felix recoils away, before seeming to collect himself. “I'm, um… not a pet person.” Ace tries (and fails) not to take it personally that Felix finds Snace to be repulsive and will just scoff and roll his eyes whenever the others discuss him. What the hell is his problem, anyway?

And then, something never before seen happens; they get another snail. “Guys!” Cheryl runs into camp, looking out of breath and cradling something in her hands. “Look what I found!” Ace goes to look right along with the others, and in the girl’s hands is a pale snail with a dark blue shell and a pattern resembling a suit collar on its neck. It doesn't have fashionable accessories like Snace, but there’s a tiny briefcase next to it. “Oh my god! He's so cute!” Meg squeals, making the snail retract into its shell in fear. “Aww, he's shy!” Kate coos. “Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?” Nea suddenly says with a grin, glancing between Felix and the snail. Several heads turn in the German's direction, taking in his dark blue suit and pale complexion. “…What?” Felix asks, just as standoffish as ever. “Snelix!” Nea exclaims proudly. When several others join in to cheer and chant Snelix’s name, Felix just sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose in a gesture that screams "end me".

Everyone is eager to introduce Snelix to Snace, gathering around the medkit, even forcing Felix to watch. “Look, Snace! A new friend!” Cheryl says, gently plopping Snelix down into the medkit. Snace immediately starts slithering toward him, while Snelix just seems confused, rooted in place. “Aww! He's excited!” Dwight smiles. Snace reaches out his snail whiskers in a greeting, and Snelix recoils, slinking a little into his shell. “Oh, he's nervous!” Kate coos. “Don't worry doll, Snace is nice.” As if sensing the woman's words, Snelix cautiously comes out of his shell, hesitantly reaching out an antenna. “There you go, bud!” Ace encourages his snailself. “Take it slow, don't scare him away.” He glances at Felix, standing at the edge of the group with his arms crossed. If only people had it as easy as snails— “Oh, god!” Nancy exclaims in disgust, making Ace look back at the snails. And seeing Snace groping Snelix with his antennas while backing him into a corner. “Hey!” Ace chastices. “What did I just say!?” “Someone save him!” Laurie urges, but it seems Snelix can take care of himself, turning around and slinking up the medkit’s wall. “Aww, he's running away,” Steve pouts. “Good,” Felix huffs quietly from behind the group, and Ace pretends not to hear him. He also pretends that the comment doesn't sting, after trying and failing to get through the German's cold exterior for weeks.

Quentin tries to give Snelix one of his medkits to give him a place to live, but Snelix refuses to go in until it's cleaned up. “What a little snob,” Quentin snorts. “Yeah, how weird is that,” Yui smirks and glances at Felix in a way that’s definitely not subtle. Felix just scoffs and crosses his arms but, thankfully, doesn’t take the bait.

“Guys, I think Snace is depressed,” Meg says one day, looking into the medkit with a frown. “He's not even eating!” Claudette adds worriedly. “Maybe he's dying of old age,” Feng snarks. “I heard that,” Ace shoots back without any real heat. The snail isn't the only one who is feeling under the weather, Felix ignoring him for the last few days taking a toll on his confidence. “What if he misses Snelix?” Cheryl frowns. “Maybe we should try to introduce them again!” Steve exclaims. “No way,” Yui says. “Just because they're both snails doesn't mean they have to be friends.” “Yeah, let's at least give Snelix some time to settle in first,” Jeff suggests.

“Oh shit! Help!” Nea shouts not long after their previous conversation. “What's wrong?” Jane asks worriedly, immediately going into mom-mode. “Snelix is gone!” Nea says, showing them the empty med-kit. Is only takes those three words for the entire camp to erupt into panic. “NOBODY STEP ANYWHERE!” Jane commands. Thus commences the search for Snelix, with everyone participating and even Felix looking surprisingly worried. They eventually find Snelix is Snace's medkit, where they're just sitting next to each other munching on some leaves. “Aww! He walked all the way to his friend!” Kate beams. “Look how cute they are together!” Cheryl smiles. Ace feels his face heating up upon seeing the snails' close proximity. It almost looks like they're sitting next to each other cuddling while sharing a meal. He can't believe Snelix would actually come around, not to mention go through all that trouble to be with Snace. Someone probably put him there, but nobody fesses up. “Are they k-kissing?” Dwight squeaks in surprise when the snails seem to interrupt their meal just long enough to move their tiny whiskers together. “They're snails,” Zarina deadpans. “Most likely just conversing,” Adam adds. “I'm so glad they're getting along now!” Claudette sighs in relief. “Bro… what if we kissed? And we're both snails?” Feng says, propping her elbows up on a tree stump to watch the snails together. “Best snails forever,” Meg grins, joining the gamer. Ace discreetly clears his throat and mentally kicks himself for being jealous of goddamn snails. Even if him and Felix are getting along better day for day, Ace doesn't have any illusions that he’ll ever get to kiss the handsome architect. Still, a man can dream.

The snails seem happy to share a living space together and the next day, Ace even catches Felix observing them curiously. “It's funny how well our snails get along now,” Ace says conversationally, coming up beside Felix. “I'm not that surprised,” Felix says, looking at the snails climbing over each other and seeming to play together. “Looks like he just needed a little push,” Felix says bashfully. And something in Ace's head clicks at the comment. “Were you the one who put him there?” Ace asks, and Felix immediately clears his throat self-consciously. “I just wanted to try it,” Felix explains. “Maybe it would go better, since everything wasn't so new and people weren't staring. And it worked out.” Are… are they still talking about the snails? Or their own, slowly blossoming friendship? “He's been alone for so long,” Felix continues, looking back to the snails now sharing a piece of cucumber. “He deserves to be happy.” Felix smiles an adorable little smile and Ace realizes in just how deep shit he is with his stupid crush on the man. “I've never seen Snace so happy,” Ace agrees. “Just look at his smug little face.” “I thought he always looked happy,” Felix remarks. Ace fights himself for a moment, debating on whether he should be honest or not, or if he's read the situation completely wrong. “Maybe he's never had a real friend before,” Ace says, and out of the corner of his eye he can see Felix glancing at him, but doesn't dare look away from the snails.

And then one day… “Woah—what's wrong with the snails?” Steve calls from the medkit, Claudette immediately rushing closer to check. And then the botanist gasps in shock and everyone else hurries there too. “What happened—oh. Oh,” Quentin says, face flushing red, and Ace peers over the teen's shoulder to… See the snails in the middle of snail sex. “They're fucking,” Nea states matter-of-factly. “Yes Nea we can see that,” Laurie hisses, face pink from embarrassment. “Wot the—they're both blokes, innit?!” David seems confused. “Snails are hermaphrodites,” Adam points out. “Gay snails!” Feng exclaims cheerfully. “It's not gay if they're—” Adam tries again. “If what, they don't make eye contact?” Feng snickers right back. “No, I mean if they have both male and female reproductive organs,” Adam explains, looking embarrassed now. Ace glances at Felix and sees him staring at the snails with his mouth pressed into a thin line. But… he's also blushing. “Gay snails! Gay snails!” Feng, disregarding Adam's explanation, starts chanting. Jane and Laurie eventually have to pull some of the more eager onlookers away by their ears to give the snails some privacy.

One day, Felix returns from a trial and walks to Bill’s spot a little outside camp to return a map he borrowed earlier. He never makes it that far, because he spots Ace out in the woods, looking much more focused than Felix has ever seen as he fiddles with something in his hands. Ace doesn’t even notice him approaching, and Felix takes the opportunity to freely stare at the man who’s been slowly but surely occupying more and more of his thoughts. Ace’s sunglasses are pushed up into his hair and his tongue is poking out in concentration, and it’s completely beyond Felix’s understanding how someone can manage to look both so handsome and utterly ridiculous. “What are you doing?” Felix asks, and Ace’s head instantly snaps up to look at him in surprise. “I’m, uh…” Ace falters for once in his life, lowering his hands to hide whatever he was up to, but Felix catches the glint of something metallic. “Is that a needle? Do you need stitches?” Felix asks, not failing to hide the concern in his voice. “No, I—” Ace starts, but then falters and sighs in defeat. “Promise not to tell anyone.” He doesn’t wait for Felix’s reply before reaching his hand forward, opening his palm to show Felix… A tiny pink baseball cap with a thread and needle attached. “For… Snace?” Felix asks, struggling to take in the information that, somehow, this flamboyant loudmouth is making clothes for his pet snail. “He deserves a proper wardrobe, okay?” Ace huffs jokingly but pulls the project closer to himself defensively. It’s surprisingly… endearing. “I didn’t know you sewed,” Felix says instead of voicing his embarrassing thoughts. “Yeah, well, it comes in handy,” Ace points out. “Can’t tell you how many times I had to patch up a shirt after I barely escaped the cop—uh, competition,” Ace catches himself, grinning sheepishly. Felix raises a curious eyebrow but doesn’t push the topic. Instead, an idea forms in his head that he can’t help expressing. “Could you make a scarf for Snelix?” Felix says, and almost instantly regrets asking after realizing how stupid that sounds. But it makes Ace perk up in interest, and soon a wide grin is spreading over the gambler’s face. “Sure, I can do that!” Ace beams. “Why a scarf, though?” Felix is already opening his mouth to say because he loves scarves, but thankfully is able to stop himself. “They’re stylish,” he says instead. “Well well well, if I didn’t know better I’d say you were starting to like the little slimy bastards,” Ace grins. “They might be growing on me,” Felix admits with just the barest hint of a smirk. Hopefully Ace realizes he doesn’t mean just the snails.

One evening, Ace is sitting by himself, looking at Snace and Snelix living their best life. They eat a little bit of some of the flowers Claudette gave them earlier, before Snelix turns around to leave and Snace immediately follows him. They slither away to a secluded corner, laying next to each other and doing their little snail kisses, until Snelix eventually slumps and flattens to the ground, seeming to fall asleep. Snace sits next to him for a while, before he carefully moves away, slinking back to nom on the flowers. “Putting your boyfriend to sleep, huh?” Ace murmurs quietly, not wanting to wake Snelix. “I'm jealous of your life, buddy.” Snace lifts his head from the flower, his little shades looking Ace's way. “At least one of us got what he wanted. You did good for yourself, high five,” Ace whispers, holding up his finger in front of Snace for shits and giggles. And Snace, the snail that absolutely hates him, lifts one of his antennas and briefly touches his finger in a high five before going back to his meal. “Woah,” Ace breathes, a grin spreading over his face and glancing around camp, wanting to see if anyone was around to witness the event— And his eyes meet Felix's, standing behind him, staring at Ace talking to his snail like an absolute idiot. And probably having heard everything. “It, uh,” Ace starts when Felix isn't saying anything, the German's eyes wide from surprise. “He high-fived me.” “I, er…” Felix stutters in return, before clearing his throat. “I got some moss for them from Red Forest.” “Oh, neat,” Ace comments. “Snelix just fell asleep, but maybe you won’t wake him if you’re careful.” “No, I don't want to disturb them,” Felix says, crouching down next to Ace and placing the moss next to the medkit. They watch the snails in silence, Snace finishing his midnight snack, Ace debating on whether he should bring up the previous conversation or not. “Thank you,” Felix says instead, before Ace can strike up a conversation. “…For what?” “For being patient with me,” Felix murmurs. “I know I can come across as… cold.” Well that's an understatement if Ace has ever heard one. “Hmm, I guess you could say you needed some time to…” Ace says, pausing for comedic effect while he waits for Felix to turn to look at him for the punchline. “Come out of your shell.” Felix huffs a surprised laugh and turns his head away, but not before Ace sees a beautiful smile spreading over his normally serious face. They keep observing the snails, until Snace has finally had enough of the flowers, moving to lay next to Snelix. “Oh, he's awake,” Ace comments, seeing Snelix groggily lift his head toward Snace. He pushes up Snace's shades, dislodging the cap a bit before doing another little snail kiss. “Damn, that's adorable,” Ace grins. And then there's a hand on his temple, and Ace freezes as his shades are gently pushed up into his hair. He turns to look at Felix, heat rising up his neck, feeling vulnerable without the glasses, not able to hide his wide eyes searching Felix's own in a silent question. Felix's face is redder than usual but he looks more unguarded that Ace has ever seen, gaze dropping to Ace's lips while the hand on his forehead moves to cup his jaw. Ace holds his breath, not daring to say anything lest he ruin the mood and permanently mess up his chance with Felix. His thoughts are little more than white noise and excited screeching as he tilts his head up in silent invitation, and that's all it takes for Felix to lean down and claim his lips.

“Snace is getting fat,” Feng comments one day. “What!?” Ace exclaims, offended. “No he’s not!” “Hon, he does look a little… pudgier,” Kate comments. “He’s just… bloated, okay?” Ace insists, huffing defensively. “He’s a fucking fatass,” Feng corrects. “Yeah man, he’s really letting himself go,” Steve agrees with an infuriating smirk. “Okay, rude!” Ace scoffs. “Felix—” he starts, turning to his newly acquired boyfriend for solidarity, but sees the little shit is shaking from quiet laughter instead of being upset on his behalf. “Babe! Don’t tell me you agree with them!” Ace gasps in mock offense, hand over his heart. “Every time I’ve looked at him, he’s eating,” Felix manages to point out between snickers. “Absolutely terrible, the lot of you,” Ace huffs, peering into the medkit where the completely innocent Snace is… Munching on some berries Claudette placed there earlier. “You were saying?” Feng snarks, making Ace shoot a glare her way while Felix is still holding back chuckles.

When Ace gets back from a rather uneventful trial some time later, he notices Jake staring intently into the snails’ medkit. As he walks closer, it becomes apparent that the snails are having sex. “Jake, what the hell are you doing?” Ace asks the survivalist. “They've been at it for hours,” Jake says, face just as neutral as ever and not taking his eyes off the writhing clump of snail. “I'm a little concerned by how much you like watching my snail get laid.” “Nature is lit,” Jake merely offers. So Ace shuts the medkit, feeling weirdly exposed by having his snail’s private life invaded like that. “Give them some privacy, sheesh,” he chastises Jake. “Prude,” the boy snorts.

It’s only a few days before there is another episode of, as Felix likes to call it, snail drama. “Felix!” Ace shouts, making Felix sigh in fond irritation and pause his sorting of their shared stash of items that Ace has left an absolute mess (again). “Yes, love?” he asks, doing his best impression of an exasperated husband despite them only dating for what can't be more than a few weeks. And then he sees Ace's face full of both alarm and excitement, and immediately drops what he was doing. “What's wrong?” he asks, feeling the panic quickly bubbling up. “SNACE IS GIVING BIRTH!” Ace exclaims ten decibels louder than necessary, grabbing a confused Felix by his sleeve and dragging him toward the snails' home. Sure enough, there's a small commotion around the medkit, and when Felix peers into it he can see Snace in the middle of laying eggs, Snelix by his side in solidarity. “Come on dude! Push!” Feng is trying to encourage the snail. “Shh, you're stressing it!” Claudette chastises. “I told you guys he wasn’t fat!” Ace huffs proudly. After ten or so eggs, the process seems to be over, and Snace happily slithers away to go snack on some leaves. “Oh,” Claudette says, bewildered. “What?” Ace says. “I, um,” the botanist falters. “They usually lay about a hundred eggs…” “A hundred?” Ace screeches. “Don't you think ten kids is more than enough?” “Only a small portion of them actually hatch!” Claudette hurries to add. “Maybe he's going through menopause,” Jake, not so helpfully, supplies. “I'm going to smack you,” Ace threatens. Felix just chuckles and lays a hand on Ace’s shoulder to settle him.

Excited about the possibility of baby snails, the survivors take turns watching the eggs for the next few weeks. Eventually, it’s Cheryl who screams: “Guys! An egg is hatching!” Felix rushes to the medkit before anyone else, and in an instant Ace is peering over his shoulder too, both looking at the transparent, tiny antenna pushing out of one of the eggs. Snelix and Snace are right by the eggs, eagerly waiting to meet their offspring. And then the small snail plops completely out and starts wiggling around, and Ace honest to god squeals. “Look, Felix!” he says, tugging on Felix's sleeve. “We're grandparents!” “I'm… not sure that's how it works,” Felix points out, even as he smiles at Snelix petting his child with his antenna. “I'm gonna make so much baby snail clothes for her,” Ace continues with a wide grin, nearly shaking in his shoes in excitement. “'Her'?” Felix asks, and Ace falters. “I'm, uh…” Ace explains, looking away. “You said your kid's a girl, I mean based on the ultrasound before you were taken, so I figured…” Something in Felix's expression softens, touched that Ace would remember something like that. He steals a quick kiss while everyone is preoccupied with staring at the family of snails.

“What should we name their kid?” Jeff ponders a couple weeks later, watching the baby snail climb all over Snace while Snelix anxiously hovers nearby. “Ask the grandpas,” Feng snarks. “Yeah, have you decided on a name yet?” Cheryl asks, looking up at Felix with wide, shimmering eyes. “Err,” Felix says, glancing at Ace for help. Ace grins and discreetly nods toward the eager Cheryl. “Oh,” Felix seems to realize. “Yes, we were considering Ch—ehm, Sneryl.” Cheryl gasps in awe. “She does look like a Sneryl,” Jeff agrees. “What? It doesn't look like any—” Feng starts, but at Jeff's pointed look, thankfully shuts up. “She's the spitting image of a Sneryl!” Ace says, smiling in encouragement. “Really!?” Cheryl asks excitedly, looking between Felix and Ace. “Ah… of course,” Felix says, and then the breath leaves his lungs in a pained “Oof!” as Cheryl rushes in for a hug. “Thank you! I love having my own snail!” Cheryl beams while Felix awkwardly pats her on the head and looks at Ace with an expression that screams 'HELP'.

Seeing Sneryl grow over the following couple of months, Felix takes it upon himself to start building the snails a house out of a commodious toolbox. He might put in way more effort than necessary, making sure to separate different rooms with interior walls and adding corridors to entertain the snails. “Hey handsome, what're you doing?” Ace asks, placing a kiss against his temple as he comes up behind him to see what he’s working on. “I'm building our snails a house," Felix explains. "They have a family now, a cramped old medkit won't do.” Ace stares at him for a moment, and then a wide grin spreads over his face and he suddenly looks like he’s about to combust. “You’re so friggin adorable!” Ace exclaims and pulls him into a hug. And then he refuses to let go, clinging to Felix’s back like a koala while he keeps working on the house, and Felix would be lying if he said he didn’t like it. “…Can you make a poker room for Snace?” Ace asks after having observed his work for a while. “Poker? But they're—” Felix frowns, turning around just enough to see Ace's exaggerated, ridiculous pout. “…Fine. But you're making the furniture.” “You got it, babe!” Ace grins, before seeming to notice something. “Hey, what's that?" he asks, pointing at a drawn square on the side of the toolbox. “Oh. It's going to be a door,” Felix explains. “But what if Sneryl goes out and gets stomped on?” Ace asks worriedly. “I just…” Felix falters. “Thought that maybe they needed some freedom. Especially Snace.” “Huh?” Ace tilts his head in confusion. “He was alone for so long, I… assumed he'd probably get bored of the family life,” Felix says, looking at the ground in thought. He’s embarrassed for bringing up the subject of Ace’s loyalty like this, but once again, the snails are proving a wonderful excuse to talk about topics they otherwise wouldn’t. “That sounds like a load of bullcrap,” Ace grins, making Felix look up at him, still frowning. “I've never seen Snace so happy. He knew what he signed up for and there's no way in hell he's leaving now.” The reassurance feels like a weight lifting off of Felix’s chest, and he can’t stop the smile spreading over his lips. Hesitantly, he grabs Ace’s hand still wrapped around him, and Ace brings them both up to brush his lips over Felix's callused knuckles. “I'm not going anywhere, sweetheart,” Ace murmurs, the sweet sentiment making warm affection spread through Felix’s entire body. “I, uhm,” Felix blushes, clearing his throat. “Is this a good time to point out I just had the snails crawl over the back of my hand…?” Ace sputters and immediately wipes at his mouth while Felix lets out a few quiet chuckles.

Following the conversation, Felix can’t help but read into Ace’s answer. Especially with the other survivors engaging in another round of the popular “What’s the first thing you’ll do when we escape?” game, Felix finds it difficult to focus on anything other than the possibility of a shared future. So, when he catches Ace alone, he hesitantly brings up the option of the man coming with him to Germany. “I know the possibility of escaping is slim,” Felix babbles nervously after Ace isn’t saying anything, just staring at him curiously. “But I can’t stop thinking about it, and I wanted to see where you are—” “Babe,” Ace interrupts, grabbing his arm to ground Felix from his scrambled thoughts, giving him an encouraging smile. “I’d love to.” Felix breathes out a relieved sigh, returning a shaky but happy smile over not getting rejected. And then Ace smirks mischievously and Felix’s instincts scream “Uh-oh”. “On one condition,” Ace adds, holding a finger in front of Felix’s face playfully. “Um… which?” Felix asks, nerves resurfacing. There’s not much that would make him say no, and he hopes he doesn’t have to, willing to make sacrifices for a potential future together. “The snails come with us,” Ace quips sheepishly instead. Felix chuckles and shakes his head in amusement, before pulling Ace in for a soft kiss. “I wouldn't have it any other way,” Felix murmurs against Ace’s lips, silently thanking the two dorky snails that allowed this to happen in the first place.

[themurphyzone]

PatB Nova Ch 6

Ch 6: Eccentricity

AN: Loved some of the PatB shorts more than others (You know my eternal hatred for THAT one). But that’s a story for another day. I’m sticking to the 90s versions of these characters though. For now. I might have a gander at the reboot versions someday. You never know!

Ch 6 FFN Link

April 22, 2015! Narf! You’ll never guess what happened, Mickey Mouse. I met the Brain! Well, I’ve only known him for about four months, or less than two days, depending on how you wanna look at it, but if anything happened to him, I would make myself watch Shyamalan’s The Last Airbender!

Tomorrow, I’m going to the mall and buying a hat. Can’t root for Farfignetown (I have to ask her how she spells her name!) at the Derby without a super fancy hat!

Love,

Pinky.

PS: Tell Minnie I said hi!  

o-o-o-o-o

Pinky stepped back to admire his handiwork, the tip of his blue glitter gel pen pressing under his chin as he leaned against it. He did his best to copy Brain’s messages, but he was probably gonna have to write only the first letters only in the future. He didn’t want to take up the entire calendar page again.

His ears twitched at a scraping sound behind him. The sparkly gel smeared against his fur as he turned around, leaving a blue streak across his chest. Egad, if he continued to cover himself in the stuff, he’d look just like one of the Blue Men!

Brain pushed a heavy textbook across the counter, finally stopping underneath a light panel on the ceiling. Then he flipped it open, climbed up, and began to read.

It wasn’t the same book he’d started reading after they’d shaken hands to seal their new friendship either.

“Whatcha reading, Brain?” Pinky asked, slinging the gel pen over his shoulder. “I thought you were reading about jeans! So, find anything good? I think I like the flare type best. Skinny jeans make me chafe.”

“I have no idea what you’re blathering about, Pinky,” Brain said, not looking up from the page he was on. His head shifted from side to side as he read on, and Pinky imagined a giant, fluffy marshmallow making the same movements.

His stomach growled, and a marshmallow dinner sounded heavenly. With cheese fondue and rainbow sprinkles and a light dollop of whipped cream on top…

Wait, no, no. The kitchen didn’t have Gruyere cheese! Processed American cheese wouldn’t provide that proper creamy texture at all.

What kind of host was he? Unable to serve proper cheese fondue to his alien guest?

Then Brain hopped off the book, growling to himself as he pushed up on the hard cover and the few pages he turned. The pages slid into place, but he wasn’t tall enough to get the cover to close the entire way.  

“Do you need help, Brain?” Pinky asked. He dropped the gel pen and grasped the cover’s edge, but Brain smacked him sharply on the wrist, forcing Pinky to let go. Pinky flicked his wrist, and the sting quickly disappeared.

“Don’t patronize me! I can get it myself!” Brain snarled. He pushed on the cover again, and it rose a couple inches in the air, only to land against his fingertips. He growled and spread his feet, jumping as he pushed on the cover once more. This time, the cover slammed into the pages with a heavy thud. “Your sources of information are woefully lacking with your livable yet rudimentary conditions. Penumbra had a much better database, and it’s been dilapidated for a long time.”

Pinky had no idea what dilapidated was. Probably something to do with laps though.

“Oh, well if you need more reading material, I’ve got just the thing!” Pinky said, motioning for Brain to follow him over to a tiny side table where all the magazines were stacked. “Let’s see, we’ve got Vogue, National Geographic, Reader’s Digest…ah, here we are! This one’s my favorite out of all the Zoobooks! Lots of pretty horses to look at. Zort!”

Pinky thumbed through the magazine until he found his favorite page, which had gorgeous art of a white horse running on grassy hills. “This one’s my favorite,” he said as he pressed the magazine into Brain’s hands. Brain nearly went cross-eyed just trying to look at it, but he held out his hands and pushed the pages back until they weren’t so close to his face. “I named her Pharfignewton after Pharfignewton! Isn’t her mane just the flowiest thing you’ve ever seen?”

“Including or excluding your mind in that comparison?” Brain asked. He closed the magazine and set it on top of the stack. “Your choice of reading material is peculiar, but I suppose brushing up on this planet’s ecology wouldn’t hurt.”

Pinky grinned. “If you think those are good, remind me to show you David Attenborough’s work sometime! His documentaries are amazing!”

Brain tilted his head, his antennae bobbing with the motion. “You’ve mentioned someone named Pharfignewton multiple times. An acquaintance of yours?”

“She’s not a quail, Brain. She’s a horse, of course!” Pinky laughed at his little rhyme. “Oh right, I’ve never showed you pictures of her, have I? Where are my manners? Anyway, I left them in the cage. It’s right this way! Or left this way. I can never tell which.”

Pinky ran back to the cage and squeezed through the bars, Brain trailing behind at a much slower pace. As Pinky slid his right leg through the bars, he realized just how dirty the cage was. There was a small puddle by the water bottle, and straw was scattered all over the place. Crumbs littered the floor around the food bowl, and his wheel had a stain shaped like a pomegranate.

It just wouldn’t do at all!

“Sorry for the mess!” Pinky called to Brain, who was watching him curiously from outside the cage. “I didn’t know I’d be having a visitor today!”

But Brain didn’t seem to care about the mess. Instead, he prodded the locked cage door.  

“Nicholas and Mr. Button, you’ve gotta wake up and help me clean!” Pinky said, shaking them frantically from where they were tucked into the straw. “Narf, you two were up talking late again, weren’t you?”

They were too asleep to respond though.

“Okay, well, I’ll let you sleep for now, but tomorrow I’ll be going over proper cagesitting behavior with both of you,” Pinky sighed. He carefully rolled up the photo of Pharfignewton he kept near the straw bed, hugging it close to his body as he slipped through the bars again.

“Pinky, those are inanimate objects,” Brain said, bending a paper clip until it was completely straight. He poked one of the sharp ends and winced.  “They won’t respond to you.”

“They’re real life objects, Brain. They’re not animated,” Pinky said. “Whatcha doing with that paper clip?”

Brain pressed his ear against the cage door, carefully maneuvering the paper clip into the lock. It slipped a quarter of the way in before Brain yanked it out again, his eyes darting around the room as if something would swoop down on them.

When nothing happened, he went back to inserting the paper clip. “Nothing to disable here. There’s no alarm system on the door,” Brain said, turning to Pinky. “I thought you were squeezing through the bars to avoid triggering it.”

“I’ve never had an alarm before. Do you think I should get one?” Pinky asked. “Just so nobody tries to burger my wheel or water bottle? Hmm, what would a burger with those ingredients even taste like? Not very appetizing, probably.”

Brain only stared at him, the paper clip almost slipping from his hand in surprise. “Don’t tell me the only reason you haven’t used the door is because you can’t unlock it.”

Pinky nodded. “Okay. I won’t tell you the only reason I haven’t used the door is because I cannot for the life of me figure out how to unlock it.”

Shaking his head in dismay, Brain reinserted the bent paper clip until it was halfway in, then turned it clockwise (or was it counterclockwise? Pinky always got them mixed up).

“There,” he said, letting the door swing open. “Now you can enter and exit as you please like a civilized mos.”

“Egad, that’s brilliant!” Pinky stepped inside the cage, then back out. In and out again, and again, and he almost started dancing the Hokey Pokey, which would’ve been a whole lot of fun, but Brain still hadn’t seen Pharfignewton’s photo!

Now that was a real tongue twister there!

“This is Pharfignewton, Brain! Isn’t she pretty?” Pinky asked, pressing the photo into Brain’s hands.

The photo had been taken two weeks ago, when her owner had hired a professional to photograph Pharfignewton as she sprinted around the field. Pharfignewton had given Pinky her personal favorite, one that showed her hooves flying through the air and her gorgeous mane streaming in the sunlight. She was having the time of her life, and she couldn’t have picked a better photo to give him.

“There’s certainly an uncanny resemblance,” Brain admitted. “And the size discrepancy between you and her is incredibly blatant. Not to mention the species difference.”

Pinky crossed his arms. “Oh, don’t be so intolerant, Brain. She’s big cause she’s a horse, and I’m small cause I’m a mouse. But we make it work.”

Pharfignewton would be gone for the next two months, possibly more when she achieved the Triple Crown. It would be lonely, but he could manage.

“You mentioned she was far away when I interrogated you.” Brain set the photo down, smoothing out a corner though it didn’t have any wrinkles.

“She’s still on the road to the Derby, I think. Can’t really get in touch with her though. Phones are kinda tricky with hooves, you know.” Pinky said. “She’s wanted the Triple Crown her entire life. So that’s why I gotta make a giant hat and root for her when she races!”

“I don’t understand how a hat factors into all this,” Brain said.

“Zort! I dunno,” Pinky shrugged. “You can’t have a Derby without horses, hats, and My Old Kentucky Home. Otherwise it wouldn’t be much of a Derby then, would it?”

Brain folded his arms. “I’m currently debating if I should take your words at face value or not. Your customs make no sense whatsoever.”

Pinky thought they made perfect sense, and cents, and all of the five senses really, but his stomach growled and that thought was soon forgotten. Brain never had Earth food before, had he?

Definitely a job for a genetically altered Earth mouse to show him the ropes!  

But first, Pinky had to clean the gel off his fur. It was starting to clump into spikes, and that wouldn’t do at all.

o-o-o-o-o

Pinky rinsed himself in the sink, sticking out his tongue to lap up some of the cool water as it trickled out of the faucet. Thankfully, the gel hadn’t settled into his fur and was very easy to wash away. And flicking the water around the sink with his tail was loads of fun too!

Brain stayed on the outer rim, pulling on the stopper and handles by the sink out of curiosity. He edged closer to the stream of water, almost touching it with a gloved hand, but decided against it. But he wouldn’t stop staring at it either, like he’d never seen water in his life.

Maybe he hadn’t?

The moon was made of cheese and not water after all. Water would make the cheese all soggy and mushy and wash away the cheesy taste that made cheese so delicious.

“C’mon, Brain! Poit!” Pinky pushed his fingers together, trying to send a squirt of water up to Brain, though it missed his nose by a mile and landed on a small crumb on the slope of the sink instead. “The water’s just fine!”

“I’ll have to decline your offer, Pinky,” Brain said. “My information about water is rather lacking, and I’d rather not cover myself in a substance without knowing more.”

“I guess water would leave the moon cheese not very tasty to eat, huh?” Pinky asked. He braced himself and shot out of the tiny waterfall, and he was very glad for all the focus he’d put into leg exercises recently, because his running start was enough to get him over the rim on his first try. “Well, all you need to know is that water is wet, it splishy-splashes all over the place, and it’s fun to play Marco Polo in!”

Brain didn’t look convinced though. He removed one of his black gloves and touched a puddle, rubbing the water between his fingers curiously.

Pinky turned off the water, then dried himself off with a fluffy towel. He double checked his chest to make sure the gel was completely gone and patted down his fur.

“This way, Brain!” Pinky called, jumping off the counter and onto a spinny chair. The seat twirled around for a bit, making him slightly dizzy, but it was all in jolly good fun. Brain carefully climbed down, gripping the drawer handles and moving slowly. He slipped on the last handle and landed awkwardly on his right leg. He grimaced for a moment, his nose scrunching up rather adorably. “Blueberry bagels and cream cheese, here we come!”

“Your sustenance on Terra, I assume?” Brain asked. He followed Pinky through a corridor and into the kitchen, his large head turning every which way to take in all the sights of ACME Lab. Now that it was daytime, there were more colors than just shadowy blue. Pinky wondered if Brain would try to name the colors he saw. Pinky tried once, but there were just too many pretty colors streaming in from the window pane above.

“They aren’t consonants, Brain. They’re delicious and all, but they wouldn’t fit with the alphabet. A little bit of a mouthful, don’t you think? Poit!” Pinky climbed up the cherry-print towel hanging on the refrigerator door like he’d done a million times before. He braced himself against the fridge door, pressed his legs against the handle, and pushed with all his might, feeling that familiar strain of his stomach muscles.

The door opened with a satisfying pop. Breathing heavily, Pinky tumbled more than he climbed down the towel, landing on the cold floor of the refrigerator.

“S-surely there has to be a more e-efficient way to open a door than your method.” Brain’s teeth chattered together, his ears flattening to avoid the sudden chill. He took a few steps away from the open fridge, his arms folded in front of his chest. “Is it a-always this cold?”

“Oh, I haven’t even opened up the freezer! If you think this is cold, you’ll really feel like a mousesicle in there! But it’s worth it if you wanna get to the strawberry ice cream with the cute little mini spoons! Maybe some other time though. Right now, it’s important to get a daily serving of cheese!” Pinky exclaimed as he pushed two small tubs of cream cheese from a middle shelf. They each landed on the floor with a thud, and Pinky jumped down and retrieved them, closing the fridge door behind him with his foot.

Brain sighed in relief as soon as the door was closed, his arms dropping to his sides.

“They keep the blueberry bagels by the bagel warmer,” Pinky said as he led Brain out of the kitchen and into a room that had been marked with a yellow and black caution sign. The bagels were so delicious they even had to warn everyone to take caution! “Oh, now that’s a tongue twister. Blueberry bagels by the bagel warmer. Boobelly beige by the baguette warmer...oh, that’s a toughie. I’ll work on it.”

The bagel warmer was an oddly shaped toaster, with lots of wires and bulbs sticking out along the sides and top. It even had a conveyor belt running through it, but Pinky thought it made this toaster really unique among toasters. Why, he’d even been toasted in this toaster himself! Though it wasn’t as much fun as crispy pieces of bread made it seem. He just remembered a lot of smoke and electricity. And there’d been a lot of narf inside too.

Pinky set the tubs of cream cheese on the floor, then climbed up to the conveyor belt, which was propped on metallic cylinders.

“This is so much easier with two mice!” Pinky crowed. He peered down at Brain, who curiously poked at a red wire on the floor. “I don’t mind eating bagels by themselves, but there’s something about toasty bagels that just warms the heart!”

“If they’re truly that delectable, I suppose there’s no harm in trying it,” Brain replied.

“Did your file thingies say anything about Earth food?” Pinky asked. Because Brain sure didn’t seem to know much about tasty things.

Brain shook his head. “The Selenians didn’t bother with information about the lifestyles or cuisine of Terrans. It was irrelevant to their cause.”

Oh. Pinky tried to imagine being an alien who didn’t know anything about cheese, but came up blank. He’d eaten cheese and food pellets his entire life. He couldn’t imagine a world without them.

“Pinky, are you aware that machine is also apparently a gene splicer?” Brain asked, pointing to the letters along the side.

ACME GENE SPLICER AND BAGEL WARMER, it said.

“So it does. But the only things that go in are bagels and lab mice. Don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone try to splice a pair of jeans. Oh, that reminds me!” Pinky snapped his fingers. How could he have forgotten something so very important? The silly machine was on the gene splicer setting! Pinky pressed a conveniently labeled button that said ‘press here for bagel warmer setting’. How nice of the scientists to label their stuff!

He was so glad he discovered that before sending the bagels through. The gene splicer setting would’ve made the bagels extra crispy, and while Pinky didn’t mind, extra crispy bagels were a taste one had to get used to first. Nope, it was better to start Brain off lightly!

“Can you please get two blueberry bagels from the bag, Brain?” Pinky pointed to a bottom cabinet where the bagels were kept, grinning at the new tongue twister he’d come with. Egad, he was good at this! “They’re the tan circles with a hole and blue specks in them! Kinda like a donut, except without the frosting and sprinkles. Zort, Brain! You’ve never eaten donuts, have you? Oh, I am definitely making a list of foods you need to try!”

Pinky hopped onto a tall table and neatly tore a paper towel off its roll, then laid it flat on the conveyor belt. Following Pinky’s instructions, Brain retrieved two bagels from the cabinet and passed them up to Pinky. Brain still seemed rather confused about the gene splicer and the bagel warmer being one and the same. Pinky carefully separated each bagel so that he had four half-bagels with the inside lying face-up and arranged them on the paper towel so they would all be nice and toasty.      

Then Pinky realized he’d forgotten another thing. Namely, that he didn’t know how to turn the bagel warmer on.

He scratched his head.

That could be a real issue.

“Pinky, do you actually know how to work this machine?” Brain’s voice sounded oddly strained. Pinky turned around. Brain was hanging onto the side of the conveyor belt, his legs wrapped around one of the metal cylinders. He’d tried to climb up himself, but his arms were too short to get a proper grip, and if he leaned over anymore, he’d fall right on his chubby head.

Pinky reached over, grasping Brain’s wrists and trying to haul him up, only for Brain to be resistant to help. He wouldn’t budge, his wrists feeling oddly tense under Pinky’s hands. His pink eyes were wide and apprehensive, pointed ears flattening against his head.

“Brain?” Pinky said. “I’m just gonna haul you up. Could you relax a bit please? It’ll be much easier.”

Brain didn’t move for a second, searching Pinky’s eyes warily. Pinky just gave him an encouraging smile. Brain looked away, his brow furrowing, but some of the tension left his wrists.

Pinky pulled him onto the railing of the conveyor belt, Brain’s feet scrabbling in the air briefly before settling firmly on the metal.

“Thanks,” Brain muttered. He walked over to the various buttons and levers, examining each one curiously.  

“You’re welcome, Brain!” Pinky brought one hand to his forehead in a salute, only to remember that Brain was an honest-to-goodness alien, and probably didn’t know that particular gesture. So Pinky tried to make the Vulcan salute instead, but it was kinda tricky with only four fingers instead of five.

“This is very intriguing,” Brain breathed, pressing his face against a small closed window that offered a look into the gears and wires within the bagel warmer. “Yes, pure lithium power source, proton accelerators, and automatic anti-inertia capabilities? The use of nanoplasmic charges leaves a lot to be desired of course, but to have the rest of these things in one machine at your fingertips…”

Pinky didn’t understand anything Brain just said, but the alien’s fingers were twitching in excitement, his nose smushed against the glass. It was the first genuine smile Pinky had seen from the alien since they first met, and Pinky thought it looked really good on him. Even nicer than the jumpsuit, which was already really fashionable. “If you figure out how to turn it on, that would be really great!” Pinky grinned. Brain pulled down on a nearby lever, and the conveyor belt began to move. “Egad, brilliant!”

“The lever was labeled, Pinky.” Brain waved him off, pointing to the word ‘on’ stenciled next to him. But his head tilted up and his chest puffed out too. He seemed to like that word a lot. “Wait, you figured out the machine was on the wrong setting, but you can’t turn it on?”

Pinky shrugged. “It’s not really my type, Brain.”

“Never mind,” Brain sighed, the tips of his ears turning as red as his nose. He turned back to the machine window. “I want to observe this process.”  

“Me too!” Pinky exclaimed, and he hopped over to the window, smushing his nose against it just as the bagels were swept into the machine. Blue electricity sparked and jumped all around the metal structures inside, and the glass warmed beneath Pinky’s hands.

It was a beautiful sight, and Pinky licked his lips as the bagels crisped from the heat.

Beside him, Brain watched the electricity intently, murmuring a bunch of smart words Pinky didn’t understand, but definitely enjoying the show too.

Within several minutes, the bagels gained an extremely nice golden brown crisp, and the conveyor belt moved them out of the bagel warmer. Brain pulled the lever up and the conveyor belt stopped moving, the thrum of the machine beneath their feet slowly fading away.

They weaved around long, multicolored wires as they made their way to the other side, where the bagels awaited them.

“Troz! Looks positively dee-lish!” Pinky exclaimed, poking at one of the bagels. Firm and flaky, just how they were supposed to be. His mouth watered in anticipation.

“The scent alone is quite appealing,” Brain agreed, taking several sniffs of the bagels. “I’ve never smelled anything like this before.”

Pinky grinned at him. “Oh, just you wait, Brain! The real magic is just starting!”

Sliding down the cylinders, Pinky retrieved the two cream cheese tubs they’d left on the floor and passed them up to Brain one at a time. His lower leg strength had improved a lot in the past few months, and it was easy for him to hang on while he passed the tubs up.

“Show-off,” Brain grumbled as he took hold of the second tub.

Pinky just laughed as he fetched two plastic knives from a drawer and carted them back to Brain and the bagels.

“Here you go! Bon appetit!” Pinky said. He gave one of the plastic knives to Brain, who gingerly ran his finger across the toothed edge as he examined the flat, see-through handle. “Oh, be careful with those, Brain. You don’t wanna cut yourself.”

“Not to worry, Pinky,” Brain said. “We have knives on New Selene. But I’ve never seen one with this particular material before. And much duller too.”

Pinky peeled away the cover of a cream cheese tub, drooling over the gorgeous smooth white surface inside. Brain copied him with the other tub, pulling off the cover completely. The alien took off his gloves and sniffed the cream cheese a few times, swiping one fingertip through the cream cheese. Then he tasted it.

Brain’s eyes widened immediately, his antennae perking up. He licked cream cheese off his fingertip four more times before he realized Pinky was watching him. Brain ducked his head and fiddled with his sleeves.

“That was…even better than I anticipated,” Brain admitted, his voice full of wonder.

“Aw, you don’t have to be embarrassed if you like it, Brain. I’m glad you think so, cause blueberry bagels and cream cheese is my favorite. Well, so are food pellets. And marshmallows, especially the puffy kind. And smiley face lollipops and…poit! I have a lot of favorites, it’s so hard to choose just one! Zounds, mac n’cheese too! You really need to try mac’n cheese, Brain! That one’s definitely going on the list. Anyway, if you think the cream cheese alone is good, try this!”

Pinky dipped the knife into the cream cheese. Once he got a good coating, he spread it across the surface of the bagel, took the largest chomp of the combined food he could manage, then swallowed. It went down a little rough, but it was delicious all the same.

“Scrumptious!” Pinky exclaimed. “It’s like a party in your mouth!”

Brain copied his actions again, and while he preferred to rip off chunks of the bagel and slather cream cheese onto smaller pieces, his enjoyment of the food wasn’t any less than Pinky’s. He made some funny ‘mmm’ noises in the back of his throat, his eyes closed in bliss as he worked his way through the first half-bagel.

Pinky started on his second half, licking cream cheese off his lips. This was a nice way to spend the evening.

“Brain, you’re welcome to share my cage if you’d like,” Pinky offered. “Mi cage es tu cage, you know.”

“Are you sure, Pinky?” Brain swallowed, thumping his fist against his throat to make the bagel go down. “I know we’re in a mutual partnership, but I wouldn’t want to impose in your living space.”

“You’re not imposing,” Pinky said. “Besides, plenty of unmarried people share living spaces these days.”

Brain was silent. He continued spreading cream cheese across a small portion of bagel, even though it was completely slathered at this point.

“Snowball and I were in neighboring cages. Aisam had to be housed alone because of their inclination towards territorial aggression. We had separate quarters for the journey to Terra as well.” Brain nibbled on a corner of his bagel. “Point being, I’ve never shared a cage before.”

“Sharing is caring,” Pinky smiled, finishing the last of his bagel. “Besides, it’s one more new experience for both of us. Isn’t that just dandy? I just hope Mr. Button and Nicholas didn’t leave too much a mess.”

“Very well. But we’re moving that sponge bed I slept on last night into your cage. It was much less aggravating for my back than the usual fare,” Brain said. “So…thanks for that, Pinky.”

“You’re welcome, Brain,” Pinky replied, rubbing circles into his belly, his hunger satisfied.

Beside him, Brain seemed satisfied too. And there was nothing better in all the world than sharing blueberry bagels and cream cheese with a new alien friend.

AN: OK this one’s more of a breather chapter since the last 5 were like wham bam nonstop stuff for the characters. Sorry it took so long to get this one out. Next chapter will have Pinky finally getting his hat and Brain’s first mall excursion!

[clanonadventures]

𝗟𝗶𝘀𝘁 𝗼𝗳 𝗿𝗲𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗯𝗹𝗲 𝗮𝗻𝗼𝗻𝘀

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Dutch anon - dutchy

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

-Preferably goes by she/her

-They/them would also be fine

-Fairly tall

-M e s s y a s s h a i r

-Struggles to speak English

-Her room is full of orange, red, white and blue

-First option to anything is just violence

-Very athletic (but competitive)

-Gets hurt a lot while sporting

-Overworks a lot, so she barely get sleep

-Don’t insult her s/o if you enjoy not having someone go apeshit on you

-Give her a tulip and she’ll melt

-good friendship with rhinestone 👌

-Loves all pets of the other anons

-Pls pet her tail, she loves it <3.

Design

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Squid anon - Squiddy

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

-19 years old

-Works at Anon city (AC) Aquarium

-Obsessed with sea life and pirates

-Is bi

-Occasionally wears a squid hoodie

-Was kicked out of the house at 16

-Loves musicals

Design

Her eyes are purple

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ENON

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

"A chaotic trickster entity with a dark and mysterious past that takes a form resembling that of popular character ENA. ENON shares many similarities and mannerisms with her counterpart, but is know to be more brutal. A lawful evil type to be sure. Her moral compass is a roulette wheel. Just wants to be entertained.

Come to think of it, I don't really think ENON had an "original form" Like she just kinda existed as a spirit/eldrich demi goddess who had it really rough before deciding to join the physical world like 'all I know is cause problems on purpose- what is love and friendship'"

Design

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Satyr Anon

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

-Loves horror movies and scary video games

-18 years old and already wasted her entire life-

-Aspiring Therapist/Psychologist, is the mom friend ™️. Very sweet, with sarcastic and wise advice whenever she's needed

-Never gets enough sleep, ever.

Design

She is actually a Satyr (goat ears, goat lower half with mostly human top half, long tail, horns, etc) with thick mane of white hair.

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Peacock Anon - Viernes

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

-24-doesn't have a gender, but goes by she/her

-shapeshifter of sorts

-if she becomes overly stressed (which is somewhat often) her face begins to crack and give way to static

-only reveals her true form to people she trusts a LOT, and even then, she'll only reveal her true form in private

-somewhat energetic, full of herself and sarcastic

-can change her appearance to some extent (can't change her clothes tho)

-underpaid tv host

-actually quite introverted when off stage

-sounds like ruby vocaloid

Design

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Rhinestone Anon

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

-He/Him

-Has had a bad past with relationships so it's hard for them to trust anyone

-Comes off as cold and unapproachable but once they trust you then they are sweet, affectionate, honest, and cuddly

-They're really fucking tall (9'3)

-They're a cuddle-bug

-Really soft hair

-Love language is physical touch

-Has never shown anyone their true form

-Big history nerd

Design

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Bug anon

☑ Platonic - ☒ Romantic

Facts

-Average height (5’00”)

-Really nice but is quiet and likes to lurk. Really shy.

-Likes bugs, drawing, video games, reading, going on walks, sunsets, forests, cats, sweets and plushes!

-Has ASD!

-Tired (™)

-Drawing later

-Tries to be optimistic when she can

-Uses she/her, they/them, it/its and bug/bugs (in no particular order)

-Asexual and aromantic!

-Age unknown, but is a teenager

-Backstory: A sentient bug who dreamed of being an Anon so they could make friends, who’s wish was granted by a strange Higher Being/entity of light and rainbows. They live among the anons now as an anon, trying to adjust to their body and life.

-Her “hair” is her antennae- DO NOT PULL ON IT!

Design

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Coke Anon

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

-Unspecified age

-Has no concept of personal space

-Someone referred to coke by they/them and they took off w/ that

-Their body is like jello in their blob form

-Their voice is autotuned on command, they do it to annoy people

-The red bit is a shirt

-Was originally named E-304 but changed their named to Coke

-Can shapeshift with no known bounds

-They CAN turn into other people, but you can tell its coke by a chunk of their hair being white/red

-Kinda stupid

-Enjoys bone marrow

-Also enjoys icecream

-Was kinda lonely for a long while

Design

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Mask anon - Melian

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

- She/they

- 8'7 ft tall

- she's 19

- e n d e r m a n

- friendly, aggressive is looked at in the eyes

- wears sunglasses out in public bc for some reason she doesnt mind eye contact with them

- is only comfortable with eye contact with people they're comfortable with

- has terrible memory

- sleepwalks a lot

- loves to collect toys like dolls, plushies, action figures and small toys

- s o m e h o w manages to break an exact block of anything, even concrete

- if you mention you want something, she'll bring it to you, may or may not have stolen it

- doesnt understand what is means to steal

- can purr

- changes to enderman language when talking too fast

- knows how to speak Portuguese and will change to it when curssing at something

- used to have a brother

- knows how to play the piano and acoustic guitar

- adores calm songs like Cavetown, Mitski Mitski, etc.

- has a few pet moths that live in her pockets and two cats

- t o u c h e d s t a r v e d

- treats most of the other anons like her siblings

- only the ones closer to them can call them Meli

Design

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Bamboo Fox

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

- A shapeshifting fox [REDACTED]? that guards and tends to a sacred bamboo forest on a mountain somewhere in the astral sea, I don't know.

- Has no concept of gender or age, but enjoys the sound of being referred to as he, or they.

- Is very small, like about 2 feet tall when standing on back legs in fox form.

- Has a very comforting aura to them, very chill vibe

- Will invite you in for tea

- Their rapping sounds like little yips. They can't speak, no matter what form they are in.

- If he likes you, he will offer you a single piece of bamboo with sticky rice inside

- If he does not like you, he will eat your soul

Design

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Basil Anon

☑ Platonic - ☑ Romantic

Facts

Is 7' tall. Hes a tall boy

Goes by he/they pronouns though is also agender.

Can shapeshift to an extent. Cannot shapeshift his eyes though.

Isnt even really human but doesnt talk about that, like ever.

Eyes are pitch black- like completely flat black- hair covers eyes always. (unless they really trust you)

Cheerful baby! But gets depressive episodes alone! Tries to keep a smile on his face. When in those episodes he is more likely to isolate.

Has a pet chicken named fluffy. Is actually immortal. Literally. The whole anon fam loves fluffy, and he keeps a chart to see who gets to pet fluffy, and who needs to be watched (coke).

Design

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Part 2

[fandomlurker]

A Ponderous Rewatch: Battle for the Planet and Cameos

You know, I keep trying to be minimal with the amount of images I put in these posts, but I think it’s kind of a losing battle…especially when it comes to episodes animated by TMS like the second one coming later on today. I can’t help it, some of the expressions and poses are just too good to not be shared.

In any case, let’s begin with one very small cameo appearance in “Space Probed”:

Our little duo have apparently found themselves abducted by aliens, only to be kept in lab conditions much like the one on Earth at ACME Labs. This is one of those times where I wish I could know the production order of these episodes and not just the air date order… Why? Well, because this small cameo could potentially line up really well with an upcoming episode. Just keep that in mind for now.

With that out of the way, we move on to our next full skit:

And we begin with the Brain expositing to Pinky about how he came up with the plan for this episode.

“Halloween, Pinky: 1938. Mercury Radio Theatre presented an adaptation of H. G. Wells’ ‘War of the Worlds’ that was so realistic, people actually fled the cities believing that creatures from Mars were attacking the Earth. It proved that radio was a powerful tool…and now, Pinky, the advance of technology has brought us an even more powerful tool. Do you know what that is?”

Before we move on, how many of you reading this have heard about this? And how many of you know that this is actually an incident that happened in real life? Yes, people actually fled their homes after hearing this broadcast. Not a lot of people, of course. Not by a long shot. Most just made panicked phone calls to their local police station or to the radio station itself to find out what was really going on. The incident also wasn’t nationwide or anything like that, it was quite local. If anything, the radio play caused much more outrage after the fact than initial panic.

Another amusing anecdote is that Orson Welles was the man who directed, narrated, and played a main character in the broadcast. For those of you who may not be in the know, although Brain was initially based on animator and writer Tom Minton at Warner Brothers, Brain’s voice actor Maurice LaMarche based his voice on Orson Welles. Or, well, as Mr. LaMarche puts it: “The Brain is 70 percent Welles, 20 percent Vincent Price, and I don't know, there's another 10 percent of something else in there. I don't know what. Some people think it's Peter Lorre. I don't know what it is.”.

Strong references aside, I’m betting most of you can see the massive holes in the Brain’s plan already. Hoo boy…

“Umm… The rubber band?”

“The workings of your mind are a mystery to me, Pinky.”

“Ooo! I love a good mystery, Brain!”

You know, this little sequence with Brain nonchalantly stretching the rubber band while walking away from Pinky and Pinky determinedly holding on until Brain lets go off camera and sends Pinky flying is… Well, I don’t know what it is about it, but it’s kind of cute in a weird slapstick way? Like, it’s hard to tell if Brain did that on purpose to send Pinky flying for not understanding his plan…or if he actually wanted Pinky to follow him and tried to lead him to where he was walking but Pinky thought it was some kind of tug-o-war game and Brain got exasperated and let go of the rubber band.

Either way, Pinky doesn’t seem to mind.

“Television, Pinky, is our new tool!”

“We will pirate the airwaves and stage a hoax like ‘War of the Worlds’!”

Brain, you’re very good with that lasso. I’m impressed!

“Three cameras, Brain?”

“Yes… A technique pioneered by the great Desi Arnaz. And with them we will scare the people of the cities, leaving no resistance behind. We will have taken over the world!”

Well, Brain, that technique first being used by Desi Arnaz is a myth (it was more than likely actually pioneered by Jerry Fairbanks around 1947), but I’m going to give you a pass on this because you likely couldn’t fact check this very well at the time.

I do have to give Brain credit for being as dramatic as possible while announcing his plan, though. He really does know how to put on a show.

“Egad, Brain, brilliant!”

And Pinky is, as usual, full of praise and extremely excited about the plan. Look at him clapping and hopping around, aww… I’m starting to think that half the reason Brain goes through with these long, expository explanations of his plans to Pinky despite Pinky not quite following along a lot of the time is just to impress Pinky. Brain needs reassurance and Pinky always provides.

“Oh! Oh, wait, no, no…”

“Why would they be scared of us? We’re so small and we’re practically the size of mice, Brain.”

“We are mice, Pinky.”

“Oh, right! Well, there you are, then. Eh heh heh…”

…Okay, so, Pinky also tends to deflate the praise a bit when pointing out potential flaws in the plan like this, but it’s the initial thought that counts.

Yeah, I know, Brain. I know. But Pinky really is trying to be helpful.

“It’s not a question of size, Pinky. It’s a question of scale! Watch the monitor.”

“*gasp* Zounds, Brain! You’re gigantic!”

“Television, Pinky: The Great Deceptor!”

“Narf~…”

No, you aren’t seeing things. Pinky just…just stands there in front of the TV looking at live footage of a close-up of Brain and sighs in awe and affection while clasping his little hands together. I don’t even think I need to make a “Fellas, is it gay to--?” joke here. All that’s missing is little hearts appearing around his head.

We cut to a little while later, where the duo has everything set up for their broadcast. It looks like Pinky must have done the lettering for their props, since it actually looks decent and nothing like Brain’s scrawlings. Yes, I’m going to continue roasting Brain’s terrible penmanship. It amuses me.

“How is my disguise, Pinky?”

“OH! Is that you, Brain?!?”

“You flatter me, Pinky. Now, throw the switch and let us begin…the Battle for the Planet!”

Title drop! Also, aww. To be fair, Brain, I’m not sure Pinky was intending to be flattering so much as he was actually unsure if that really was you or not. But the fact that you took it as flattery is very telling, I think.

Pinky throws the switch, and the plan is officially underway!

According to the Animaniacs wiki, these people bear a striking resemblance to Elmyra’s family. If that’s what was intended, this is quite the early omen for the horrible “Pinky, Elmyra, and the Brain” spin-off that was made after the regular PatB spin-off. I don’t think I’m going to fully cover that show in the far future. It’s not the fun kind of terrible…it’s just terrible.

Oh hey, they were watching Family Matters! Too bad this is many, many years before they could bear witness to Dark Urkle Tribute.

And there’s Ralph, enjoying coffee and a doughnut.

And…some TV station broadcast folks. It kinda bothers me that these two basically have the same model except for different hair colours.

“We interrupt your regular broadcast to bring you this important news bulletin…”

“What is that?!”

“Someone’s pirated the TV lines!”

“Scientists have just reported that a large, unidentified flying object seems to be heading towards Earth. There is no cause for alarm…”

“…But there probably will be.”

Subtle, Brain.

Oh, hi, Warners! You certainly picked a good time to escape tonight.

“We take you now to our satellite view of the planet, perhaps to catch a glimpse of this fearful courier of the unknown.”

Cue Pinky making ridiculous “shoosh” and “shoom” and “weee!~” noises. Very convincing.

“I’ve just received word that the UFO is about to crash land nearby. There should be a great explosion!”

“I said, THERE SHOULD BE A GREAT EXPLOSION!”

“Hmm? Oh! OH, right, Brain! Narf!”

Nice blep, pinky.

Somehow, people watching the broadcast are still terrified. I’ve gotta admit that I didn’t expect this plan to go this well for this long.

…Okay, maybe I spoke too soon.

“Sorry, Brain…”

“…We’ll go live to the crash site momentarily.”

He says before near-instantly cutting to the “crash site”, still in the same disguise. Brain, honey, I know you’re probably trying to reduce broadcast downtime so that the audience doesn’t start to question what they’re seeing, but you do know that quick cuts like this ruin the illusion of this being a live broadcast…right?

Oh, who am I kidding? Of course he doesn’t know that. As usual, Brain has tunnel vision and expects his plans to go one certain way, and any details that don’t fit his internal narrative are discarded or not even thought about.

Just let me slide on in…

“I’m reporting to you live from the crash site and I…I’m at a loss for words. Can we get a shot of this very frightening scene?”

He’s right. That’s the most frightening…ly obvious cardboard spaceship I have ever seen.

But okay, I love these tiny prop improvisations they had to do. The bare cardboard wings taped to some kind of spray can for the body of the ship, a stray water cooler cup for the cone, test tubes for the thrusters, random little sewing pins for some kind of antenna, a dirty beige blanket to simulate soil for the crash zone… It’s so hastily cobbled together yet so goddamn cute.

Ralph still seems convinced that this is real, though that isn’t saying much.

“I am now positioned close to the…well, I can only assume that this is a vehicle from outer space, its occupants here to destroy the Earth.”

“Oooo!~ OoooOOOooo!~”

“Wait! There is a strange noise emanating from inside. Something seems to be coming out of the ship!”

They made a glove into an alien space suit with a tiny peephole to accommodate Pinky’s face and they fashioned a little belt from something for it, aaaaa! This is so adorable! Look at Pinky trying to be scary! He’s just all >:B throughout this entire scene.

BUG FOGGER

WARNING

CONTENTS UNDE

EXTREME PRESS

GAS

I’m wondering why they couldn’t label it as “bug spray”. I’ve honestly never heard of it being called “bug fogger”. Is that an American thing? (Also: Tiny sandbag wall!)

“Oh my! It’s hideous! Ladies and gentlemen, I can hardly describe this terrifying creature before me, except to say: Run for your lives! Go on! Empty the cities! Leave everything behind!”

“I…I don’t know how long I can stay on the air. I’ll try to get to our aerial view in chopper five!”

Okay, it seems even Elmyra’s family and the broadcast folks are still under the impression that this is actually happening. And Brain instantly cuts again to the aerial view. Brain, I think you’ve been watching too many movies.

“Chopper five, high above the city. The horrible creatures from Mars…invading…destroying everything in their path! Oh, the humanity!”

Since this is a still image the impact is lessened but Brain is rapidly beating his fist against his side to simulate the sound of helicopter blades and it’s actually pretty effective. Well done, lil guy, I never would’ve thought to do something like that. Your foley work is great!

The milk carton buildings still have straws in them to make chimneys! There’s little Chinese takeout boxes as buildings, too! I’m so charmed by all these quaint ways they’ve made their props.

Also, the Pinky-alien has apparently grown to kaiju size now, somehow. Brain, you’ve got to make your hoax at least a little consistent!

“This is no hoax, ladies and gentlemen. I urge you to run for your lives while you can! We’re not making this up just so we can take over the world!”

Goddamnit, Brain. You are the worst liar in the history of forever.

“Oh no! It’s heading this way! Run for your lives! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!”

I just thought these cowering poses Brain did were funny and cute. He is so small and vulnerable…

So Pinky starts to menace the camera itself and—

—Oops. This isn’t going to go well.

Poor, poor Pinky.

“We did it, Pinky. Brilliant performance!”

Holy shit, sincere praise from Brain! I’m sure Pinky will treasure it.

“Undoubtedly, the population has fled in fear from their ‘terrifying enemy’, HA!”

Umm. About that, Brain…

“Let us make haste…to The White House!”

Brain, you may want to at least wait a little while so that people can actually—

Ouch.

WOW, who needs Twitter in this universe when the press is this fast?

“’Battle for the Planet is a comedy smash… World laughs together. Stay home for this one!’”

“Pinky, are you pondering what I’m pondering?”

“Well, I think so, Brain…but if we didn’t have ears, we’d look like weasels.”

“[sighs] No, Pinky… Our hoax…no one went anywhere! No one fled the cities! They found us…humorous.”

If it helps any, boys, I also found you incredibly adorable.

“Where are you going, Brain?”

“Back to our cage, Pinky. We must plan for tomorrow night.”

“Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night?”

I like how Pinky is at first concerned about Brain’s mood and then we he sees that Brain is just walking home to plan for tomorrow night he’s bouncing on his tip-toes after him.

“The same thing we do every night, Pinky: Try to take over the world!”

TO BE CONTINUED because apparently Tumblr finds this post too long otherwise,

[riddledeep]

Vocabulary and Slang

A requested glossary for Fae slang, swears, or common vocabulary the Fae grow up with. I included some additional worldbuilding such as the counterpart kinship terms and ceremonial preening phrases as well.

Some terms in here are Gaelic, some are pulled from myth, some are just made up fantasy words. That’s kinda how I roll.

Related: Vatajasa For Beginners | Fae Court Cases

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COMMON WORLDBUILDING VOCAB

Not the ENTIRE glossary, but these are common terms Fae would recognize that humans usually wouldn’t, though they’re not exactly “slang terms.”

Cloudlength - A unit of measurement between a mile and a kilometer.

Cloudcliff - The edge of a cloud; fall or jump from the edge and you can descend planes of existence until you hit another cloud.

Core Trait - The personality trait that a corresponding set of Faedivus, Faeumbra, and Faelumen inherently share; their “central drive.”

Core-Sync - A universal force or magic that causes Anti-Fairies to mirror their counterparts in terms of being injured and mating.

Damsel - The official term for a female Fae. Adjective form: “Damseline.”

Drake - The official term for a male Fae. Adjective form: “Drakian.”

Drone - A Seelie drake, usually small, who is highly susceptible to pheromones. They generally follow gynes around and are stereotyped as obedient to a fault. Historically they have been mistreated by Fae society, and the cloudlands are currently (as in “during my fanfics”) working to improve this. Despite the name “drones,” drones are most similar to worker bees, not drone bees.

Dysolfactya - An inability to properly read pheromone cues (Dyslexia but for smell). Rupert Roebeam and the pixie Keefe are both drones with dysolfactya, making it somewhat difficult for them to navigate Fairy society. Those with dysolfactya aren’t always treated well in Fairy society, as people tend to react to them with annoyance instead of finding ways to help them.

Faedivus - The genus of Fairies and Pixies. A baby Fairy or Pixie is called a nymph.

Faelumen - The genus of Anti-Fairies. A baby Anti-Fairy is called a pup.

Faeumbra - The genus of Refracts. A baby Refract is called a chick.

Field-Sight - Fairies or Pixies who have triggered field-sight (by briefly rolling their eyes back in their heads) are able to see the colors of magic in the world around them. Things like clothing and facial features won’t show up. Humans do not appear in the energy field unless they’ve recently come in contact with a magical item or magical being. The Unseelie lack this ability.

Gyne - A large, freckled Seelie drake who projects a lot of dominant pheromones; they’re the Fairy equivalent of queen bees. Gynes are especially territorial. They develop from Fairy children who consumed a lot of jelly in the first few months of life. The Anti-Fairy counterpart of a gyne is a pilot and is born with black facial fur resembling a mustache and goatee. The Refract counterpart of a gyne is a plume and is born with long, wiry “plumes” that curl from their head like antennae.

High Count / High Countess - High positions in Anti-Fairy World that make up the executive branch of Anti-Fairy government (the Anti-Fairy Council balance their political power). Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda are the current High Count and High Countess with Foop first in line as Anti-Cosmo’s heir. The camarilla court make up their council of advisors.

Honey-Lock Instinct, The - The all-powerful magical instinct that drives Anti-Fairies to mate with the counterpart of whomever their “host” does. In preadolescents, mere feelings of attraction can incite a “mini honey-lock” of affection in their counterpart. 

Imprint - A magical being’s “personal signature” in the energy field; something like the magical version of facial features, but can be picked up on from anywhere within a close radius. Anti-Fairies use a similar system called a vocal signature to identify people.

Inrita - A chemical secreted through a gland at the roof of a brownie’s mouth. It holds no effect over them per se aside from helping them break down almost anything they put in their mouth, but inrita drains the magic from objects and some magical beings; a “closed circle of inrita” will cancel all magic in the vicinity, including causing Fairies and Pixies to “drop their lines” and start asphyxiating. Vendors often keep “inrita mud” near their wares to prevent people from magically stealing it. If inrita has any effect on genies, it’s a minuscule one. Brownies fall low on the social ladder due to how easy it is for them to kill someone. See also, Brownie-Kisser.

Instar - A Seelie Courter who still has their nymphhood exoskeleton. Typically someone under one year of age (give or take a few months) is said to be “in instar.” Poof is the exception to the rule giving how his body has been messed up by the frozen timestream. 

Iris - An Anti-Fairy with a sexually-transmitted disease that makes their eyes match their counterpart’s eyes, as opposed to default red. The STD is highly prized in Anti-Fairy society due to a history of being associated with success, leadership, wealth, and cleverness, and generally it’s kept out of the reach of the commoners. Anti-Fairies are overwhelmingly more attracted to Anti-Fairies with colored eyes than one with “default red” eyes; it’s part of their cultural upbringing.

The STD itself is known as The Iris Virus despite being a magical bacteria and not an actual virus.

The virus comes with additional unpleasant side-effects, such as loose-hanging skin, sores in the mouth, and sores around the inner thighs; these sores flare up for a week or two around the anniversary of the day you got the virus.

In Refracted society, colored eyes are a sign of shame and can cause your flock to disown you even if you were born with them through no fault of your own.

Kiff-Tie - If two Anti-Fairies in close proximity are killed, they’ll regenerate together and be fused like one creature. They do not take on a unique new form; rather, their bodies are fused together like Siamese twins. In place of the typical Valentine’s Day celebrations, it’s popular sport among Anti-Fairies to use arrows to kill snuggling couples instead.

Kiss of Frost - Will o’ the wisp saliva has the ability to paralyze the limbs; a deep enough kiss will even freeze the body to the point where it stops functioning and dies.

Luz Mala - A Fae conceived with magical assistance or through totally magical means. They tend to be very powerful and emotionally unstable, with their emotions frequently affecting the world around them. Historically luz mala are looked down upon by Fae society because of this, though some people (notably Anti-Cosmo) have made an effort to fight for their acceptance. Poof, Foop, and Juandissimo are all luz mala.

P.A.W.S. / Previously-Activated Wand System - A simple wand used to perform simple magic. This type of wand records a lot of magical information and is usually required for children doing magical homework. Parents might also want their children to use these wands so their magic usage can be tracked.

Preening - The ceremonial exchange of pheromones between two or more parties, performed by licking one another’s necks and faces. When Fairies or Pixies settle business deals, preening is often involved. In that context, preening would be professional, but it can also be an intimate (though non-sexual) gesture between two people. Preening is usually performed by drakes, though damsels are sometimes taught the gestures. Preening with someone “for fun” on a regular basis would be a sort of “bromance” relationship and a sign that you two are close, devoted friends.

Preening features prominently in many of my works that feature Fairy culture. Read more about the 24 preening signals HERE.

>> Notoriously, H.P. feels very close with both Anti-Cosmo and Jorgen because they preen regularly for political and friendly reasons. Jorgen sees his relationships with H.P. and Anti-Cosmo as strictly professional while Anti-Cosmo is rather touch-starved and treats preening as a relaxing way to unwind but not necessarily as an attempt to form an emotional bond. On some level, you could argue that Anti-Cosmo sees H.P. as his casual friend with benefits while H.P.’s vision is more of a bromance where they respect and support each other.

Refracted, The - The third class of Fae that make up a third of a Fae soul (each Fae soul consists of a Fairy, Anti-Fairy, and Fairy Refract counterpart). The Refracted are gold and white bird people, and the Refracted class overview can be found HERE. Properly they are called Fairy Refracts. When speaking of their culture, the term is “Refracted culture.” When speaking of people, the term is simply “Refracts.”

Refracts are born the opposite sex of the hosting Fairy counterpart and are always born three months after the Fairy (as opposed to Anti-Fairies who are born the first Friday the 13th after three months have passed). Their names are framed Drake Wanda and Dame Cosmo instead of Anti-Wanda and Anti-Cosmo.

Seelie Court - An umbrella term encompassing Fairies (including subspecies) and Pixies. The term “Seelie” can be used alone, such as in the phrase “I’m Seelie.” That would be an example of a slang phrase since the proper way to say it is “I’m a member of the Seelie Court.”

Sharing Magic - Fae who are near each other can pick up on one another’s attraction signals in the energy field. Sharing magic is a way of sharing signals, directing them towards one another and feeling the touch of each other’s magic. It’s sort of like cuddling (in the sense that it’s something you might do with either a romantic partner in private or a friend in public depending on your comfort level) but with magic. Sharing magic normally coincides with physical cuddling or with preening. The term might also be used if you’re giving SHAMPAX (magical CPR).

Tomte - A Fairy without the ability to channel magic. If someone tries to “go tomte,” it means they’ve injured or are considering injuring their right hand, which is the “organ” of a Fairy’s body that really channels magic. Alternatively, it may also mean that they’re trying to “go natural” and not use magic, but without injuring their hand. Refracts and Anti-Fairies are not affected by their counterparts going tomte, and injuring their hands won’t have an affect on their ability to channel magic either.

Unseelie Court - An umbrella term encompassing Anti-Fairies (including anti-pixies) as well as Refracts. The term “Unseelie” can be used alone, such as in the phrase “I’m Unseelie.” That would be an example of a slang phrase since the proper way to say it is “I’m a member of the Unseelie Court.”

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LOCATIONS AND SPECIAL ITEMS

Other useful worldbuilding terms that don’t count as slang either.

Claímh Solais - One of the four treasures of the Tuatha Dé Danann: a magical sword that once belonged to King Nuada and is capable of severing the soul from the body. This treasure was bestowed upon the Fairies. It’s normally in the care of the Fairy Elder, though its theft from the Pink Castle was largely responsible for kicking off the May Blossom War. Foop is widely suspected to be the thief, though he and his family deny this.

Cloudlands, The - A term that encompasses all the magical Fae worlds. The cloudlands we see in the show are known as “The Fairy World colony” (even Anti-Fairy World falls under this term). The Fairy World (Earth) colony is distinct from the Red Retreat (Jupiter) colony, the Legend Peak (Mars) colony, and the Hawthorn Haven (Delk) colony.

Coire Dagdae - One of the four treasures of the Tuatha Dé Danann: the bottomless cauldron of The Dagda (also called Undry). This treasure was bestowed upon the Anti-Fairies and was in the care of the High Count and High Countess at the Blue Castle until Anti-Cosmo lost it during the War of the Angels.

Elphame - The original motherland of the Fae. Fairy World is a colony of Elphame. Many Fae search for Elphame as they travel the universe, though they have not yet found it. It exists only in stories and many people (especially Anti-Fairies) do not believe it exists. You can read more about Elphame and its colonies HERE. 

Hy-Brasil - Anti-Fairy World’s official name; I named it after the mythical island said to be off the coast of Ireland, inhabited by “large black rabbits” and “a magician in a stone castle.”

Insula Solis Infintum - Anti-Pixie World’s official name; literally translated its name means “The Isle of Infinite Sunshine.” It’s an island prison and is technically part of Anti-Fairy World. Located above Rio de Janeiro.

Lia Fáil, The - One of the four treasures of the Tuatha Dé Danann: a magical coronation stone found in Ireland. This treasure marks a neutral zone for the Fae, who respect the truce with their utmost honor.

Sleá Bua - One of the four treasures of the Tuatha Dé Danann: Lugh’s magical peacekeeping spear. This treasure was bestowed upon the Refracts and is kept in a tower. Notably, Dame Artemis’s goal in the second half of Frayed Knots is to retrieve it.

Sprigganhame - Pixie World’s official name (shortened). Pixie World is a micronation located entirely within a single Fairy World region (the Central Star / Purple region).

Tír Ildáthach - Fairy World’s official name; “The Land of Many Colors.”

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CASUAL TERMS

Other terms that are commonly used as slang.

Abra-Bats - A slang term for Abracadabrium batteries: a rare portable power source controlled mostly by the Pixies.

Ah’kas - A slang way to refer to preening (specifically the ceremonial / intimate part of preening). See the Ceremonial Preening Terms section below.

Attraction Signals - Various pulses automatically put out by magical beings that allow other magical beings to detect their presence. These signals are named such because they attract the energy field.

Cú Chulainn - Not exactly a common slang term, but Cú Chulainn is a very famous mythical demigod. H.P. commonly refers to Talon by this as an affectionate pet name, parly because Cú Chulainn was a very strong hero and partially because the hero was famously fostered by several fathers (since the hero’s actual father was a deity who didn’t stick around).

Dazzled - A slang term from around the time Cosmo, Wanda, their counterparts, and the pixies were growing up. Replaced “jazzed.” It means “Cool” or “Awesome.”

Finella Reflex - The name for a Seelie’s instinct to destroy their Unseelie counterpart. Strongest when an Unseelie is in a Seelie’s territory (as determined by the strength of pheromones). Also known as “cold shoulder syndrome.”

>> A widely accepted theory slowly being discredited as time goes on. Poof and Foop’s ability to co-exist as roommates has confused a lot of people who used to believe in this reflex and used it to defend their racist beliefs.

Going Dusty - A euphemism for death among the Seelie. The Anti-Fairy equivalent is “gone to smoke” while the Refracted equivalent is “gone to mist.”

Gootie-Goggling - An old-fashioned slang term for checking someone out. This phrase is out of date in modern times.

Ivywish - A common word in Anti-Fairy society in reference to the Anti-Firebox v. Ivywish case. Saying something like, “They pulled ol’ Ivywish on me” or “They went Ivywish” means, “They discriminated against me on the basis of my being an Anti-Fairy.”

Jazzed - A slang term from the time when H.P. was growing up; “That’s jazzed” means “That’s cool” or “That’s awesome.” This phrase is out of date in modern times; it was replaced by “Dazzled.”

Jacked - A slang term from the time when H.P. was growing up; “That’s jacked” means “That’s dumb” or “That’s messed up.”  This phrase is out of date in modern times; something like “That’s ridiculous” or “That’s stupid” would be more common.

Lines - Shortened from “magic lines” or “breathing lines.” When an Anti-Fairy damsel gives birth to lifesmoke, it rushes towards the primary “host” counterpart and envelops them. Poof’s counterparts (Foop and their Refract) “bound together” and “attacked” Poof at the exact same time, hence the giant cloud and the confusion of the Fairies; normally the clouds are much, much smaller.

Mint - A slang term that will crop up during Poof and Foop’s teenage years; “I’m mint” basically replaces “I’m awesome” in the future. It is also often phrased as “That’s minty.” This slang term is not used in stories that take place before Poof and Foop enter middle school, and it’s at its peak during their high school years.

Naiad - A wingless Fairy (both those born without and those whose wings have been cut off).

Prince of Destiny - A slang term for a gyne (Usually intended to be sarcastic or insulting).

SHAMPAX - CPR for the Fairykind; stands for “Sharing Magic to Prevent Asphyxiation.” Usually administered mouth to mouth, but can also be administered by mouth to an open cut in the skin.

Sugarblind - A slang term that basically translates to “blackout drunk.” Not used very often. “Sugarloaded” is more common, but if you need to specify the difference between “drunk” and “blackout drunk,” you would use this term.

Sugarloaded - The state of being “sugar-drunk” due to consuming too much candy and/or soda. The Fae are not affected by alcohol- only sugary products.

Tingle-Fritzy - A state of arousal in the Fairykind that can result from anxiety, feelings of attraction, or from being sugarloaded, for example. This term is named after the fact that a Fairy or Pixie’s magic lines will fritz in and out of contact with the energy field in this state.

Thinningcore - “Going thinningcore” is the Unseelie equivalent of going tingle-fritzy, since the Unseelie don’t have their own magic lines. Simply put, when they begin to stress, they can have difficulty “breathing”. It’s also a common side effect of Anti-Fairies being right-side-up too much. While tingle-fritziness can sometimes be associated with pleasure (“sugar high”), going thinningcore is generally considered unpleasant.

Wishbirthed - A nymph who skipped the birthing process and was wished out of their parent, and as a result ended up with a large glob of magic stuck to them. This process can be seriously risky if you don’t know your anatomy well or can’t channel sufficient power. Often used interchangeably with luz mala even though technically they shouldn’t be.

Year of Promise - The time between when fairy courtship officially begins and when one’s wings are notched; “the honeymoon phase.” In Fairy culture (mostly seen in the common fairy subspecies but sometimes seen in others), Fairies mate on the first night of official courtship and then spend a year “hands off” from each other and all other partners. When the year is over, the couple reunite and discuss their feelings. They either marry or break up (it’s very rare to continue courting without marriage after the year is up).

The common fairy subspecies takes the Year of Promise tradition extremely seriously. Ironically, despite believing in a tradition that allows the couple to freely and respectfully bail out if they fear the marriage won’t work, they are stereotyped as a subspecies that rushes relationships.

Traditionally both partners should wear a ceremonial apron and gloves in public for that entire year and should avoid touching people with their skin. 

Notably, Wanda and Juandissimo had a Year of Promise. When it was over, Juandissimo enthusiastically requested Wanda’s hand in marriage and was shocked when she turned him down.

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PHRASES

Common casual phrases in Fae culture.

“Are you jitterlines?” - “Are you crazy?”  

“As the dragonfly skims” - As the crow flies; measures distance by wing without taking the topography of the landscape into account. This term is used by Fairies; Anti-Fairies would say “As the bat soars” and Refracts would use the crow term.

“Don’t flap your wings dustless” - “Chill out”, “Calm down.”

“I’m only [Un]Seelie” - “I’m only human.”

“Lousy-lines” - A phrase that means something like “grumpy-gus” or “Debbie downer.”

“Sheathe your wand” - In this sense, it means “Hold your horses.”

“Who brushed the dust off your wings?” - “Why are you so grumpy?”

“Will a genie’s kiss fry your lines off for a week?” - Rhetorical question given as an affirmative answer; equivalent to, “Do chickens have lips?” Stemmed from the fact that genies have so much magic in them, kissing one long enough will overload the body and cause the Fairy to fritz all lines from the energy field.

“You’re fudging your wand waves” - “You’re exaggerating.”

“You’re twirling my lines” - “You can’t be serious” / “You’re making me anxious.”

“You’re yanking my wing” - “You’re pulling my leg.”

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TRADITIONAL TERMS

Special terms specific to Fairy culture. These terms are always italicized since they are words from an ancient language.

Aldra mór - The dominant gyne of the local area. A very dominant gyne who visits another gyne’s territory would be visiting an aldra mór, even if the visitor is more dominant than the host.

Ex: The Head Pixie is aldra mór of Pixie World. No gyne can be aldra mór of Fairy World because it’s simply too big, but they could be aldra mór of a neighborhood or estate property.

Chéad grá - The aldra mór’s alpha retinue drone (the drone in charge of leading the retinue and overseeing fellow drones). Although not the aldra mór, he generally holds authority and you might ask him questions if the aldra mór wasn’t around.

Ex: Sanderson is chéad grá of Pixie World; he’s sort of “head butler.” The term is tied to the aldra mór’s territory; you would not greet a drone by saying “Welcome to my home, chéad grá.”

Caisleán - The main building that belongs to the aldra mór and contains his sleeping quarters. These buildings were common in hive estates, though in modern times few gynes have estates so this term might simply refer to their house. To some people, it may be taboo to enter the building if you aren’t family.

Technically, H.P.’s penthouse - not the entire building - would be classified as his caisleán in modern times.

Mhaisci - A special room where preening is performed, usually but not always separate from the bedroom. Since the bedroom is considered private, it’s nice to have a separate place where it’s a little less awkward to discuss business deals. A mhaisci might be decorated like a bedroom, but is commonly decorated as an office with a couch.

You can see a modern mhaisci in my Sims 4 build of H.P.’s penthouse HERE.

Mhalaith-chéad - Special ceremonial clothing set aside for the chéad grá and ONLY the chéad grá to wear while preening. This clothing usually resembles silver silk pajamas, though there can be some variation. It’s very taboo for a lower-ranked drone to wear this.

Tháircha - A separate living area for drones, usually containing bedrooms, bathrooms, an office space, and a living area just like any other small house. It’s traditional for all drones to share one bedroom, however, which often cuts down on rivalry (usually 4 drones max to the same bedroom). Also commonly abbreviated “tháir.”

Tekti - A guest house, separate from the caisleán. If you’re staying on a gyne’s property, this is where you would be since gynes are territorial and generally prefer not to sleep under the same roof. Modern Pixie World features the Onyx Hotel in place of a traditional tekti, which would be a more humble building.

Yidreamu - A term that means “affection site.” Traditionally, Fairies don’t mate in the same beds they sleep in and in Fairy architecture you will generally see a smaller room connected to the master bedroom. This room is also used for snuggles or simply relaxing together while reading books or watching movies (not just mating). It is also very common for a couple’s yidreamu to be some sort of cabin, boathouse, or similar vacation home instead. I built a yidreamu in Sims 4 and talked more about them in the Fairy architecture post, HERE.

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CEREMONIAL PREENING TERMS

Phrases used in ceremonial preening; they appear in a few Origin of the Pixies and Frayed Knots chapters but are often glossed over elsewhere. They are usually referred to as “The ah’kas.” Some of these words also appear in Mother Nature and Father Time’s sacrificial shrine song.

These phrases should always be spoken in the correct order, in ceremonial conversation form, so they are listed in order and not alphabetically. In story, these phrases are always italicized. The use of these phrases can be seen in the Origin chapter “Senseless” and the Knots chapter “Tipping Scales.”

Again, preening is part of Seelie culture due to the fact that Fairies and Pixies share their DNA with insects; preening was specifically intended to be an anthropomorphized take on eusocial insect licking behaviors. Licking to show dominance and submission is instinctive for Seelie, particularly gynes and drones. Damsels are invited to preen for business purposes but are not usually taught the motions of the full ceremony (since damsels are based on drone bees and gynes and drones are based on queen and worker bees).

Anti-Fairies and Refracts do not normally preen. It isn’t instinctive for them and is not part of their cultures (in fact, in Anti-Fairy culture / bat instincts, licking someone’s face or neck is used to signal desire for sex... which is DEFINITELY not what a Fairy means to communicate). However, some might be willing to preen if invited to by a Fairy. For example, Anti-Cosmo is willing to preen with others due to his rank as High Count and his (often crippling) belief that he’s expected to do so; however, many Fairies are uncomfortable preening with Anti-Fairies due to the cultural gap between the races.

“Ah’ne ah’ne ah’ka, awa krei’ish cara” - “May I have your mountain?” (Body)

“Kalra kalra keiko krei’ish cara” - “If you will have me, you have my mountain.”

“Ah’ne ah’ne ah’ka, awa krei’ish lámha” - “May I have your hands?”

“Kalra kalra keiko krei’ish lámha” - If you will have me, you have my hands.”

“Ah’ne ah’ne ah’ka, awa krei’ish taná” - “May I have your lines?” (Breath)

“Kalra kalra keiko krei’ish taná” - If you will have me, you have my lines.”

“Ah’ne ah’ne ah’ka, awa krei’ish ri’apa” - “May I have your core?” (Soul)

“Kalra kalra keiko krei’ish ri’apa” - If you will have me, you have my core.”

Preening is a mutual exchange of pheromones and, in full ceremony, is combined with gestures and physical touch. After offering someone your body, you are giving them consent to move closer to you (possibly on top of you or any other way they’re comfortable with that allows them a better angle to lick your neck).

As the ceremony advances, partners gradually share magic with one another, aligning their magical signals until their breathing is in sync. After agreeing to the fourth level - the core level - partners consent to transition to a mutual magical state where they can meld minds. This can be seen in some of my works, such as the Origin of the Pixies chapters “From Straw to Gold” and “King Unconventional.”

In business deals, you can also ask a “fifth” question and would replace the last word with the request you are asking for. For example, “utwrisa” which means “your aid and concern.”

The submissive preening partner (the drone or person seeking aid) initiates the questions and movements; only they have the authority to advance the ceremony in order to signal consent and hopefully limit the chance of abuse. The submissive partner only advances the ceremony as far as they are willing to go. It is common to stop after the first question when preening for the sake of settling a business deal (if you even ask a question at all... in modern times, many business deals are settled with a handshake or a few quick and simple licks). Some professional relationships may progress to the second question (hands), and even to the third (lines).

It is rare to advance to the fourth question (core) in a professional relationship. Much of the confusion between H.P. and Anti-Cosmo regarding the status of their relationship comes from the fact that H.P. repeatedly insisted to Anti-Cosmo that preening is “strictly professional” but did not make clear that the melding mind stage is generally treated in Fairy culture as a sign of great trust, friendship, and intimacy.

Thus, H.P. tends to see their relationship as more intimate and trusting than Anti-Cosmo does (which plays into why H.P. teases Anti-Cosmo so much, believing he and Anti-Cosmo are very close although in reality, Anti-Cosmo is often flustered or offended by his jokes).

As another example, the relationship between H.P. and Jorgen constantly slides up and down, with both parties feeling comfortable with one another and happily progressing to the mind-melding stage of preening one day, but bitterly refusing to progress farther than the first stage the next.

Their comfort level changes rapidly, but is at least always clear to them unlike Anti-Cosmo, who is constantly confused and hurt if H.P.’s comfort with him doesn’t remain at max at all times.

Anti-Cosmo's self-esteem will take a hit if H.P. doesn’t allow him to complete the full ceremony every time they preen while H.P. believes he is simply communicating “I like you, I’m just not in the mood for going further.” Jorgen gets it because this is Seelie culture, but Anti-Cosmo is easily confused.

If you wish to stop the ceremony immediately (but respectfully), you would say “Shri'ana vi scintu.”

So, if someone asked “May I have your core?” you could reply with a phrase that roughly means “No thank you, the current situation feels right and I don’t want to progress” without the harshness of a simple “No.” H.P. is notorious for flat-out saying “No” instead of the proper phrase, which often insults or confuses the people he preens with.

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RUDE LANGUAGE

Swears, slurs, or otherwise unprofessional language.

Blitz - Not a particularly nice word at all and generally considered the ultimate rude term (though it can be combined with other terms to be even ruder). “Blitz” can also refer to mating, especially mating quickly or carelessly.

“Snatterblitz” would actually be the ULTIMATE rude term.

H.P. uses the word “Blitz” frequently, though he tries not to use it in professional settings. Despite his best attempts, it commonly slips out when he’s around Jorgen or Anti-Cosmo, who sometimes sit in awkward silence. 

H.P. becomes flustered when he hears young children (pixie children in particular) use this word. If your kid overhears him and begins repeating it, it’s one of the few things he’ll immediately and sincerely apologize for.

Though it’s frowned upon to use this term in Fairy World, it’s EXTREMELY frowned upon in Anti-Fairy World. Anti-Fairy culture is rooted in the idea that friendship and passion, not selfish personal pleasure, should be the reason you engage in sexual activity.

“Blitz” implies very casual behavior with the goal of quick personal pleasure, and clashes harshly with Anti-Fairy values. An Anti-Fairy who states that he or she enjoys “blitzing” would be shunned.

Brownie-Kisser - A slur with its roots in the idea that brownies as a race are naturally dumb and shy and easily taken advantage of. Someone with a brownie for a significant other is often viewed as not being able to “get anyone better”; a “brownie-kisser” is often viewed as desperate, slutty, or even a rapist.

Despite the fact that this term is blatantly racist and cruel, it’s unfortunately still quite common in Fairy society (and so is bias against brownies in general). A more extreme term is “brownie-blitzer.”

This slur is practically non-existent in Anti-Fairy World. Anti-Fairies don’t mind brownies and it would only be used as an insult to a Fairy’s face, not as gossip behind anyone’s back.

Dust / Smoke / Vapor - Fae turn to either dust, smoke, or vapor when they die. These terms are sometimes used as exclamations, such as “Smoofing dust,” “Good smoke,” or “Dear vapor.” Fairies use “Dust,” Anti-Fairies “Smoke, and Refracts “Vapor.” These terms are considered very mild and are usually used in place of “Curses!” or “Drat!”

Fez - A mild exclamation in Genie culture. May also come in the variation “fezzing.” This term is rarely used by non-Genies. If you hear that word, someone nearby is probably a genie in disguise or hangs around genies often. Despite being a mild Genie word, Happy Peppy Gary considers it to be worse than it is and tends to use it if he’s frustrated and his usual “freaking-deaking” doesn’t cover it.

Fritz - The state of magic lines rapidly disconnecting and reconnecting to the energy field.

“Fritz” is less extreme than “Blitz” and “Snatter” but more extreme than “Smoof.” I would say it’s equivalent to “Damn” if used as an exclamation. It can also be used in casual conversation when referring to breathing lines, since that’s the appropriate context to use it in.

Knotted-Lined - A very cruel way to call someone an idiot. Widely considered a slur that should no longer be used at all.

Even H.P. (who is known to use “Blitz” regularly) avoids using this term unless he is EXTREMELY upset with someone.

If I recall correctly, this term is only used in the Origin of the Pixies chapter “The Makings of Greatness.” It probably slips out when he’s drunk with his friends though.

Smoof - Mild curse word; Norm and Sanderson have both used it in canon. With smoof canonically being a reference to hemp, I’ve headcanoned it as being a plant that can be used for various things, such as making burlap sacks. Notably, Happy Peppy Gary uses this term since he’s spent so much time around Pixies, which often earns him strange looks from humans.

This is a very mild term and is the equivalent of “Shoot” or “Darn.” If you can catch yourself then it would still be better not to use this term in a professional environment, but most people probably wouldn’t bat an eye if they heard it. It is commonly used as an adjective to emphasize frustration with a situation (“Smoofing”).

Snatter - Not a nice name to call someone; sometimes strung together as “snattersmoof.” The exact definition falls somewhere between “brown-noser,” “cheat,” “submissive partner,” “lovable scamp,” and “female dog.”

Both Sanderson and Anti-Sanderson tend to use this one a lot. It’s more extreme than “Fritz” but still not as extreme as “Blitz.”

A similar word, vlakrina, exists in the traditional Anti-Fairy language (Vatajasa). However, Anti-Fairies view a vlakrina as “a person who humbly intends to dote on you to express genuine apology as though they were your devoted sexual servant” rather than the Fairy view of a snatter which is something like “a person who is alluring or submissive because it turns them on or because you hired them to act this way.”

Calling someone “snatter” is pretty much always meant to be insulting while calling someone “vlakrina” could be a compliment akin to “You are extremely humble.”

.

KINSHIP TERMS

The traditional terms used to describe relationships with counterparts, from Gaelic kinship terms.

These traditional words fell out of fashion in the cloudlands during the War of the Sunset Divide (causing most Fae to use terms like “Niece” and “Nephew” to refer to their counterpart’s children) but the terms make a comeback as Poof and Foop enter adulthood. You would put a possessive word like “My,” “Our,” or “Their” in front of these terms, which are lowercase and italicized in story.

These words are very useful for Fae who regularly have contact with their counterparts’ families. Poof understands them because Wanda’s side of the family is firmly rooted in Fairy traditions, including language, though he rarely uses them because he’s still reluctant to acknowledge Foop’s family as “his” family. Foop, being a smug know-it-all, likes to use these terms but has a hard time remembering what they mean and tends to mix them up.

“My counterpart(s)” - Mhuintir

“The brother of my counterpart” - Deantháir

“The sister of my counterpart” - Deirfiúr

“The spouse / committed partner of my counterpart” - Ceathar

“The partner of my counterpart” - Muirnīn (Generally used for a boyfriend, girlfriend, or similar partner who can’t be called a spouse)

“The counterpart of my father” - Uncail

“The counterpart of my mother” - Aintin

“The son of my counterpart” - Nia [Generally implies the child was raised by them; might not apply to a blood child who was given up for adoption but definitely applies to anyone adopted into the family]

“The daughter of my counterpart” - Neacht [Same as above]

“The grandson of my counterpart” - Garmhac

“The granddaughter of my counterpart” - Gariníon

“The father of my counterpart” - Athair

“The mother of my counterpart” - Máthair

“The grandfather of my counterpart” - Seanathair

“The grandmother of my counterpart” - Seanmháthair

“My biological son raised by my counterpart” - Mac

“My biological daughter raised by my counterpart” - Iníon

“The children of me and my counterpart(s), collectively” - Leanbh

Those are the kinship terms; on some level, these people are considered your extended family even if they are a different species. Fairies believe that counterparts share a soul, making them closely related. Because of this, Fairies shun romantic relations with anyone in the above kinship list (though it is widely agreed that it’s natural to develop a crush on your counterpart’s love interest).

Anti-Fairies, however, traditionally believe themselves to be a completely separate species who were originally shapeshifters but later took on forms to resemble people they grew fond of. They believe they are not related to Fairies by blood or soul, but are akin to “guardian angels.” Because of this, most Anti-Fairies would consider it acceptable to have romantic relations with their counterpart or their counterpart’s relatives.

Click HERE for my Fairly OddParents masterpost

[sweetbirdwritesbnha]

Hello! Sorry it’s taken me ages to get to your ask! Hope you enjoy! (Also first time writing for hizashi and Aizawa..so sorry if it sucks!)

Yagi Toshinori

As a person with two different forms, in a way he feels like he can relate with you on that.

He thinks whatever creature you turn into is just absolutely adorable!

It’s kinda funny thinking of this really huge guy all over this creature...

He sometimes sees the wings as a nuisance,cause he can’t hug you from behind as much as he’d like...

But other than just restricting some physical contact, he just sees it as another beautiful part of you! How cute!

Aizawa Shouta

He really doesn’t have much of an opinion on it....it doesn’t bother him,it’s not bringing any discomfort upon you..so he doesn’t see it Logical to judge or even pay attention to your horns or wings

Will only ever bring it up when he’s having a lazy cuddle day with you and he can’t hug you from behind or kiss your forehead because of your quirk..only then will he have an issue with it.

If your creature has any resemblance to a cat...DEAR LORD THIS MAN...!

He may be freaking out on the inside but will be totally cool and collected outside...

Has a secret desire to pet you in your creature form,but will NEVER tell you...

Hizashi Yamada

He has lots of questions! He wants to know what your quirk does, why you have horns and wings,ect.

When he finally does see your quirk he kinda freaks out! How can a lovely person like you turn into a huge creature! By no means does he think it’s ugly, he was caught off guard.

He will definitely ask if he could ride you into battle...

He thinks you are just so cool! He’s proud to call you his ‘wicked babe’(sorry little headcanon that he comes up with some funny -yet cool- nicknames for you...)

He is also very thankful you are not a bug of any sorts...he’ll take horns and wings any day over antennas

I hope you enjoyed! Also I am super duper sorry this is super late! Life has hit me with a dry spell of creativity...Anyways just a bit longer till I open up the request box!!

Love your face-

Sweet bird 👾

[thesleepiestspiny]

Reunion

 The undead monstrosity that overpowered the unlikely trio had begun to loom over them. 

Laddegus couldn't feel his feet, nor one of his arms, and Gieg couldn't risk losing much more of himself and was hiding to try and at least save his lover's core. Even after the dreaded Chromidas had wandered onto the scene after tailing the duo, it had been knocked flat on its back by the might of the creature, even having its bandages torn asunder from the jagged blade-like bone that coated its arm and was unresponsive. As Laddegus looked up in horror, all he could do was try to crawl away. It pinned him down with its foot and snarled at him. But after hearing Laddegus scream in pain, Chromidas snapped awake. As it scrambled to its feet and took its blade in hand, It didn't snarl. It didn't scream. It yelled.

"LEAVE. HIM. ALONE."

It punctuated each word with a heavy, unnaturally fast slash of its blade, as if it had the weight of a feather. The tail. A leg. An arm. Even after the creature had been wounded, Chromidas didn't stop slashing. It cut the sewn-together abomination into finer, indescernible shreds than it had been assembled from, its clodded blood staining the bare grass outside the castle it had emerged from.

As Laddegus turned around to see what had been going on, he and by extension Gieg, saw the sight. The hunter only turned to face them after it was sure the monster had truly stopped moving, and unwittingly gave them a good look at its face.

 The bandaged hunter in dried-blood-brown armor had finally been unmasked. But the glimpse of a face underneath did not fill Laddegus or Gieg with terror. Not entirely, at least.

Faded blue hair, with a face split down the middle; one side with typical grey skin and a functioning orange eye. The other resembling dried carrion with teeth protruding from the lipline and a grotesque amount of eyes, with only the centermost one focusing on the two while the rest appeared to spiral around in the socket to allow it to move.

Within Laddegus and Gieg, a memory resurfaced. And together, they had uttered something under their breath.

"...Chromad?"

Its single antenna seemed to perk up at this name. And then droop as it covered the mutilated side of its face with its claw. With its free hand, it pointed to Laddegus...

"b... rothhh...er."

...and to the bracer containing Gieg.

"s-...sol...lan."

Laddegus, very slowly, crawled towards it before sitting upright. Gieg disengaged to help try and piece the archlich back together as they... tried to, at least, talk.

"I... We were siblings, the two of us."

A weak nod.

"What... happened?"

"c-... cant... remmemrrrrrh..." it growled as it clutched its head.

"... That is fine. We can help you sort through it later once we get you hel-"

"NNNNRRRRNGHG... Nnno."

"...I'm, sorry?"

"Nno. C-cant. risk, it. Can't. Think."

They shuddered before abruptly slamming their head into the dirt and growling in pain to themselves to nurse a headache. Laddegus winced.

"Looks like they're pretty messed up." Gieg noted, reattaching Laddegus's feet. "Whatever attacked 'em must've given them some kinda virus. I could try to take a look if y-"

"RRRRRRRRRRR" Chromad growled loud enough to wake the dead, causing Gieg to scramble behind Laddegus like a frightened cat.

"okay noted ill stay away"

The archlich gave his boyfriend a reassuring scratch behind the horns before turning his attention back to his sibling. He didn't remember that much of them yet, but he recognized the gentle choking noise as their way of stifling a sob.

"You... you do not have to hide like this. We can get you help."

"...nno, jeod... i... ddeserv... this..."

The archlich's eyes dimmed. "I... why would anyone deserve this?"

Chromad raked their claws against the dirt as they slowly sat back up. A green-ish fluid formed beneath their good eye. "ff...failed. to s-ssssave, our town. nnothing. lrft." As they looked back up at him, they noticed he'd brought his hands stretched out to his sides. It took them a moment to process this as their eye twitched. They collapsed and hugged him, limp at first, before tightening their embrace.

"Whether you feel you've failed or not... I know now you are still my sibling. And I am glad to know you are still among us."

Gieg curled up where he was, staring away from the two. It was then that he noticed a trembling claw, palm turned upward, reaching towards him slowly. His forest-green eyes darted over to it before hesitantly, but ultimately, leaning his head into their hand.

"sss...srry. fr y-yelling."

"...It's fine." he said. "You've, probably had enough demons messing with your body for a lifetime." His speech gave way to a low, gravelly hum as they gently ran the knuckles of their hand down his back.

The three sat there for a while as the sun began to set. Though they would eventually have to part ways, they took solace in knowing that they had finally met eachother once again, as a family.

[time-fixer]

theSE guys are a little bit olD? but not really... they’re based on some weird dream I had that i sort of turned into a weird story, more under the cut

bear with me, this was written at 3 AM when i woke up after this dream and tried to write it as fast as possible, mind the grammar and such because i don’t have the willpower to edit this right now

--

I was woken up by this weird group of bugs, there were 4 of them, and it looked like we were in the wastes where quirrel was in the prelude comic but like... It was also kinda not?? It was weird and distorted, kinda resembling the dream land, but very faded. 

 AnywaYs the bugs were; a black and white spider guy with a cloak and greenish blue eyes, he also looked like he had horns but it coulda just been the mask idK... He had 4 arms but would sometimes walk on the middle set if he needed to walk fast or run which kinda made him look like some sorta weird centaur spider at times... But he'd usually just walk on 2. 

The second bug was some kinda Collector looking dude, it was slender, had 4 fluffy arms and wore a mask (but it was more like an actual mask and not like the masks the vessels use that look like their head), it was REALLY TALL, and it also had a long slender tail... It really looked like some weird monkey-bug amalgam mixed with the void. 

The 3rd bug was kind of like a type of ant-wasp-thing and she looked real scary but was super gentle and sweet. She had the colors of one of those corn snakes, yellow orange red and black, and had 4 antennae and 4 eyes. There were a lot of diamond looking patterns on her body. 

 The last one was a moth I thINK.. They were a really weird looking moth... But I'm pretty sure I heard one of the other guys call it a moth... They were pitch black with slick looking wings and body features, they had a faint sort of sparkle to them that sorta looked like a midnight sky, but it was only if you saw them in the light. they had REALLY BRIGHT YELLOW EYES, like NEON yelloW you couldn't miss them anywhere, and soft smooth antennae that functioned a LOT like ears, they were super expressive with them. 

I couldn't tell what I was but I think I remember being called some kind of wooly aphid, I had clear wings and black slick limbs but never got a good look at myself. Moving on, they woke me up and the spider dude started talking about looking for a "specific dream" and wondered if I'd seen it?? And I was thinkin to myself... No I just woke uP idk where I am!! So they asked me to join them, the moth said they felt like they were close but the plains made dreams feel weak.... Idk what that meanT cause any time I'd ask about the specific dream or anything about dreams really they'd get super quiet and shady. 

But I decided to go with them anywayS cause what else was I gonna do! So we started walking through the place and the first thing I noticed about the moth was that every now and then their antennae and eyes would glow white and sort of emit those dream wheel things you'd see in the game whenever they'd look around, kind of like they could "see" a dream path or see in a dream, I'm not sure, it just looked cooL...The tall collector-looking thing kind of seemed to acknowledge I was human cuz they brought up that I didn't seem right and I "dreamt differently", so I could "navigate without dream" unlike them, they said they needed the moth a lot because otherwise it would've been impossible to get through the wastes without dying. 

It was weirD AnywayS after some wandering we finally got to what looked like this gIANT PIT, it had a bunch of altars and statues around it and definitely felt really cult-like. ThE moth did NOT like the place but the spider wanted to investigate so we looked around at the place and I FOUDN A RAD NAIL! The collector-void-thing let me keep iT just in case we got attacked or something.. Thankfully there were no cultisTs but we did find a cool artifact thing, it looked like a kind of magic lantern thing powered by a glowy orb in the middle, I asked them if it was a dream thing, the ant-wasp said that it didn't seem to have a connection but could be useful anyways so we took it and moved on, then after more wandering I heard the moth say something about finding the dream?

I turned around and it kinda looked like the overlook MC sees when they first find Dirtmouth in the into, buT Dirtmouth was like REALLY DREAMSCAPE LOOKINg... And I think that's where I woke uP even tho I wanted to go look