#ceci rambles

[againstacecilia]

Moving day. ✨

[percysjakcson]

Okay but why isn’t shadow and bone renewed for a season 3 yet??? We NEED to see the complete crows storyline, c’mon just renew it already!!!!!!!!

[polyphonetic]

This art was painted by a Belgian author

By René Magritte in the summer of '29

He's the guy who drew an apple face

This art was painted oil on a canvas

Surrealist piece, at Los Angeles County Muse-

-um of Art is where it is displayed

It is sixty point three three centimeters by eighty one point twelve

So I bookmark the ticket site

So I'll see it before it is shelved

This is not a pipe

This is not a pipe (The Wind And Song)

The Treachery of Images! *clap clap*

This is not a pipe

This is not a pipe (The Wind And Song)

The Treachery of Images! *clap clap*

Wooh oo-oo-oh (Ceci n'est pas une pipe)

Wooh oo-oo-oh (Ceci n'est pas une pipe)

Wooh oo-oo-oh (Ceci n'est pas une pipe)

Is it a pipe?

The theme of pipes was extended

in an article published in

"La Révolution Surréaliste"

that was called "Words And Images"

It took the theme and extended it

Representing thoughts René Magritte had on verbal /

visual representations

This painting is often used to describe

"The map is not the territory"

So that reminds me how

There's more to be found

In what you see!

This is not a pipe

This is not a pipe (The Wind And Song)

The Treachery of Images! *clap clap*

This is not a pipe

This is not a pipe (The Wind And Song)

The Treachery of Images! *clap clap*

Wooh oo-oo-oh (Ceci n'est pas une pipe)

Wooh oo-oo-oh (Ceci n'est pas une pipe)

Wooh oo-oo-oh (Ceci n'est pas une pipe)

Is it a pipe?

… Real life, words, or pictures? All are empty

Seen or read inside our minds

How I see the world is found within me

More than outside me, I find

Looking in my mind I see the entry

Between what I see, what I've been

Looking out, I could say paralanguage

Modifies meaning, messages in!

Looking out my mind, like I'm a sentry

Flashes of light and what is kin

Looking in, I could say paralanguage

Modifies meaning, message is in!

Wooh oo-oo-oh (Ceci n'est pas une pipe)

Wooh oo-oo-oh (Ceci n'est pas une pipe)

Wooh oo-oo-oh (Ceci n'est pas une pipe)

Wooh woh woh woh

Ceci n'est, Ceci n'est, Ceci n'est (Ceci n'est pas une pipe)

Ceci n'est, Ceci n'est, Ceci n'est (Ceci n'est pas une pipe)

Ceci n'est, Ceci n'est, Ceci n'est (Ceci n'est pas une pipe)

Is this, is this?

Ceci n'est, Ceci n'est, Ceci n'est (Ceci n'est pas une pipe)

Ceci n'est, Ceci n'est, Ceci n'est (Ceci n'est pas une pipe)

Ceci n'est, Ceci n'est, Ceci n'est (Ceci n'est pas une pipe)

Is this, is this?

This is not a pipe

This is not a pipe, not a pipe (The Wind And Song)

The Treachery of Images!

Oh, this is not a pipe

this is not a pipe, not a pipe (The Wind And Song)

The Treachery of Images!

No, this is not a pipe

this is not a pipe, not a pipe (The Wind And Song)

The Treachery of Images!

[yooniesim]

tw: death mention, cancer mention, oversharing, long-winded self-reflection, far too many paragraphs

The strides I have made with my temper in the past year... real talk... I'm proud. It's been hard to manage myself and keep from popping off but I've been making a lot of progress removing myself from situations that get me heated, irl or online, and I'm happy about that. It doesn't remove my feelings or the damage I've caused with my anger in the past but I feel like I'm making real progress. Even though my depression and overall mental health varies, I feel like temper wise I'm in a lot better place than I was a year ago. I've been staying away from people irl that fed into my anger by being neglectful or abusive to me, and tried my best to work on my own actions at the same time.

I'm also proud of where I'm at with my blog comparatively. I've been working hard to focus on the good things and what makes me and others happy, rather than falling into a pit of negativity. I feel like I can still express myself from time to time, while also being better able to know what is appropriate to say and when. Idk if this is just especially ND of me but I feel as if I had the belief that as long as I felt whatever I was saying was the truth, it was appropriate, and that the negativity wouldn't get to me if I stayed by that metric always. But that isn't always the case, and i'm getting better at evaluating that. At realizing that, even with good intentions, getting wrapped up in all the issues of the world and all the negative discussions can be almost a form of self-harm.

Not many people know about this, but the trauma i experienced during the pandemic really affected me and changed me a lot. If you're a long time follower comparing how I was pre-2020 and after, it probably feels like I changed completely as a person, because I did. I don't speak about it a lot, especially now that it feels like the entire world has... moved on, but. Being a healthcare worker then felt like seeing your own slice of hell. Seeing that much death firsthand and being so afraid every single day, being confronted with your own mortality and that of your loved ones, it's extremely difficult. Especially since I lost a very close relative to a drawn out battle with cancer, who I was a caregiver to, as well. Between that and finally being medicated for the first time in my life, i became numb, and at the same time, I became angry. Angry at every little injustice that crossed my path. I wanted to fix something, anything- even in a silly little community for a silly little sims game. I thought, maybe, shining a light on things I saw that were wrong- scamming, doxxing, bigotry- might help. I broke myself apart trying to do that. And... for what, really? I accomplished nothing. And to this day still deal with people that boil me down to just... a hater, I guess. Too annoying for their personal tastes. As if that alone justifies some of the truly vile things that have been said and done to me, publicly and privately. That continue over a year after the fact. Even now it's difficult to think about sometimes.

I've made many mistakes here. Being an inexperienced and flat out incompetent server owner, to start. But with that, too, I've made progress. I'm so grateful for the mod team I have in Sutopia now. For the loving community that's risen from the ashes of what was once an overly negative space. For me getting a handle on my own love of petty gossip, a fatal flaw. For me learning how to ban instigating and toxic parties instead of naively giving them the benefit of the doubt. I still struggle- because as much as people might think I'm harsh, seeing as I try to put up that front as much as possible, I'm actually far too forgiving to the point of stupidity at times. I've been paralyzed by indecision in the past, not wanting to hurt anyone by mistake with the wrong call, and wound up hurting everyone involved with my inaction instead. But I know now that I have a more experienced team beside me that helps so much with these decisions and ensuring a safe place for everyone. And that's taken a weight off of me for sure.

Occasionally, still, the anger gets to me. I see someone that I know for a fact has scammed someone, or hurt someone, or flat out lied, or harassed me in anons or said something racist about me in private that they have no idea I know about- and they're just continuing on, getting love and adoration over their sims or cc or something, and it gets to me. I want to post, I want to blast everything on here and say, look! They're not what you think! Look what they did! Look who they really are! But then I breathe, and I think. Would it really help? Would it really do anything? Would I be opening myself up to be attacked and hurt for nothing? And I come to the humbling conclusion that it's not worth it. Not worth it for them to come back in a month with a new name and all their friends welcome them back like nothing happened and so simblr continues on as it always has. And I'm just a "hater" that's probably jealous of how many friends they have or how much money they make whatever other egotistical explanation they'd spout after everyone inevitably forgot what really happened. Occasionally, it makes me feel a little sick.

But, I breathe through it. I'm getting better at that. Sometimes I write something long out in the drafts- like I'm doing now- and delete it right away instead of posting it. It helps. Even though sometimes I feel guilty. I think about the anons I used to get, the people saying they were too scared to call out certain creators for certain actions because of how big they were and how much hate their followers would send, I think about the asks I still have in my inbox of screenshots and proof. About how sometimes people would thank me for saying things they couldn't bring themselves to. That I was the only person doing it. The only person who wasn't afraid. Even though I was only "unafraid" because I could barely feel anything at the time. And I don't even have that "advantage" anymore. But it weighs on me thinking that I should be trying to help them still. But how can I help anybody? I'm biased, too. I make mistakes. I've made so many mistakes. What gives me the right to say anything? Being put on that pedestal and having that responsibility on my shoulders- stupid as it was from the bigger perspective of life- hurt me, too. Because no one has the right takes every time, and having the wrong one on occasion doesn't automatically make you a terrible person. But it's extremely difficult for people on the internet to understand that. Sometimes I feel used when I remember those times. Chewed up and spat out, once the flavor wore off. And violated, not by the anons or anyone that disliked me, but by people I thought were friends. That's always the worst part to think about.

.....Until I decide it's time to leave, anyway. Then you're all going down.

It's better not to expose myself, or others, to that again. Is that growth? I don't know. I still struggle with so many emotions. The anger, and the guilt. Regret and sadness. But then, I've also felt so much joy from here, too. When I talk to people in the server, when I help people here with their cc projects/requests, when I read people's stories, when I talk to nice anons. I still love talking to anons so much, and want to have in-depth, rambling discussions with them again! I love to laugh with my mutuals and share our silly little sims together. And, god, sometimes I feel relief. Like, there's nothing for me to prove, no one for me to impress. I can do whatever I want and not worry, because well- so what if I get blocked? Or talked about? Like what else is new lol. I don't need to focus on the community. I just need to focus on me, my posts, my mutuals I already know are kind people. It's a freeing feeling. And it makes continuing to express myself here worth it. I want to concentrate on that. The positivity, the love. The creativity. The people here that warm my heart with their kindness. So I think, as we continue into December and into the New Year, and every year I'm here beyond that, that's what I'll do. Continue to grow, and share the love.

[allbeendonebefore]

you thought spring abpoli was cringe? well the second weekend of july is always worse

i live in a real province that actually exists

[ezrisdax-archive]

every week I tell @girlonthelasttrain I miss transformers comics and every week I feel that urge again

[milk-ducts]

I'm so glad to have encountered a fellow Cecil stan. I freaking love coming up with headcanons for Cecil, platonic or romantic, because he's such an interesting character. For real though feel free to dump any Cecil headcanons (platonic or romantic) on me anytime.

AWAAAA!! YES HAII OTHER CECIL AFICIONADO !!! im so glad theres more of us sprouting out here. my wife is so underappreciated, you have no idea how much he means to me. i'd love to req n swap headcanons anytime !! I have so many thoughts on that morally ambiguous gilf.

[messy, disorganized surface level autism rambling ahead. this will be just random scenes and characteristics i like of him]

BUT YES .. cecil's character is just so interesting to analyze. he does unethical, necessary things. But he doesn't subscribe to idealistic notions of "the greater good" or justifying his actions to make himself sleep better at night. He knows the harsh reality that someone has to make the difficult decisions, no matter how unethical. The psychological toll it takes to calculate how many civilian lives can be spared, and how many are inevitably lost in order to achieve the optimal outcome. He doesn't celebrate after victories like the other heroes do. After the dust settles, his mind is already racing - calculating, strategizing how to prevent future catastrophes. How to minimize casualties next time.

his methods are...questionable,, as ive said,, but there's a hint of nobility to it that just makes you respect him, A SHADY GOVERNMENT CHAR that does the dirty work and takes in all the heat for it so no one else has to? SIGN ME TF UP! i love exploring his character and all the little glimpses of humanity we get to see from him,, especially with debbie, SO SOFT FOR HER, there's so much depth there. that old fuck would MOVE mountains for her if he could,, TRUST. EVEN though he doesnt deserve her .. <<

LETS CONTINUE TO CIRCLE BACK TO S1 with his confrontation w Nolan in the desert, the way he entrusted his survival to the skills of his team operating that teleporter watch (I'm aware he can control it himself, I think this was just my interpretation of it since the employees seemed directly involved here). The margin for error was nonexistent. One miscalculation, one millisecond too slow, and Cecil would have been reduced to a red smear across miles of sand. MY WIFE HAS BALLS ON HIM. (also love walton goggins breathy lil giggles here .. hwaghffhh)

All this, All the whilst Nolan could have ended him with a casual backhand, as easily as swatting a fly. And for what? For humanity's (mostly his) right to know the truth. For Debbie's right to understand what she had truly married because Cecil respects her that fucking much for her to have a part in all of this, and what fate may lay in store for her son.

AND what I particularly liked about that scene is that unlike most SHADY GOV CHARS ™.. Cecil isn't afraid to regularly place himself in life-threatening situations, and for that im just.. FKING obsessed. finally. a hyper competent gov char that gets shit done and occasionally by his own hands instead of always puppeteering in the shadows. Love u .. love u honey snooch, please stop putting yourself in danger for your crazy alien side-hoes .

but ahem ... back to s2.. and some flaws of his that i'm not afraid to point out. the way he's been treating mark is killing me. manipulating my son by comparing him to his dad then keeping him on lock by saying he's not like him??? The breadcrumming definitely didn't work out at all, cuz Mark is too damn stubborn to continue to be swindled by fear tactics he does not give a shit for anymore (homegirl DEBBIE taught him better) hes not gonna listen to a cranky skullet-having side bitch of nolans who clearly has been tryna manipulate him since s1. i HATED how he went "ur broke tyrannical bitch father felt the same way" in the last minute when mark tried to leave earth and yet i still lobve ceci cause ough,,.. my bastard wife knew something was probably up.

Him wanting to keep a short leash on MARKY could be summed up after all that has happened in s1. i'm not going to justify his scummy manipulations or paranoia,, especially after all the shit mark has done and endured to prove himself over and over again that he's not like his father BUT its somewhat understandable for cecil 2 be wary if you look from it in his perspective.

moving on from that, lets dive back into ep 2 ..

Debbie was semi-right in her deduction in s2 ep2, that this is what it's really all about for Cecil - being in control. Not of any situation, but of Mark. To ensure history does not repeat itself in the form of Mark becoming another Nolan. imo He likely doesn’t actually view Mark as his father, Not saying the possibility of it being a part of Cecil's subconsciousness is out of the equation but the way I see it? He was just exploiting that one weakness, that one insecurity Mark has - the fear of becoming like Nolan. And it’s a fear Cecil seemed to prey upon to keep Mark under his thumb and in the fucking GAME.

awaaaa :3 !!!! psychologically damaging teens by comparing them to their abhorrently shitty fathers !! FUCK YOJ STEDMAN (love you snookums..)

,,,,I'd also like to think in my warped deluded perception (aka hcs) that he sees Debbie in Mark, so he can't help but care for the kid too. IVE ALWAYS seen a lot of comparisons between Mark and his dad, plus the whole motif of this new season hasn't helped it allay. But Debbie and Mark share so many similar characteristics as well and i wish that was talked a bit more often &lt; 3 (I will go in depth about it at a later post.)

n umm like ...,,, bck to cici in gen. I guess the safety of earth is one of Cecil's redeeming qualities along with his compassion for side characters like Debbie. His pragmatism and utilitarianism define him. He lacks normal morals but has his own code that cultivates to his character. this ramble could not do justice to him ughfglg..,, what a compelling jezebel.. how can u captivate me so !!

My inbox is always open to discuss this multi-faceted rat man. here's to more cecil content in s2..,... hopefully with more of his dynamic with Debbie because I LIVE for that shit. though its unlikely their interactions could range to anything positive now since they may be hinting to cecil becoming an antagonist and/or taking extreme measures w/ mark. soo.. i dont think debbie's scolding was enough for that slut 2 take in ..

in the mean time i'll be catching up on the comics/re-reading them, look up more of his backstory and hopefully create 10 novels worth of google docs of analysis' of his character < 3 cuz .. he means .. that much 2 me.. and i want to prod at every crevice n brain matter he has inside that megamind head of his .

((hwaghhhhhh << hoping that one day the discord moots ive been keeping in my basement and most invincible fans fall victim to cecil stedman propoganda.. no one should be immune to my girlboss and his awful skullet.))

[amelie-isnt-french]

Against my better judgement, can I ask about the 24k word TMA conspiracy board?

I like how you already know that you might regret this halfway through, self-awareness is important!

Against anon's better judgement, I hereby present the Original TMA Brainrot Document! *drumroll*

I've only had comment permissions on this document since today, actually, so all my added nonsense is FRESH!

General layout is this: the doc goes episode by episode until mid s4 (as you, beloved people, can see below), and then we follow it up with conspiracy rants, entity characterisations & rituals. Not only confirmed rituals, but also Ali's speculations, which are delightful.

Let's start out gently, shall we? First info we get on the document is about the Magnus Institute and its employees:

Yes, I know this is Hannah-from-the-library erasure, but she's on maternity leave. Good on her. If you, like me, have no idea who Sonia is, please comment because I feel very silly that I cannot remember her for the life of me. Thanks o7

Anyway!

Every episode entry will look like an approximation of this, with more or less red string ranting and "ohhhhh I know that name!!" depending on the episode.

What follows now is a highlight trip through things written by @alice-apparently and carefully chosen by yours truly.

Firstly, to highlight once again our different listening styles: Ali edited this document after pretty much every episode she listened to and I blazed through a quarter of s1 in one afternoon. Self-restraint? Never heard of her.

Cross-referencing like the good academic she is:

Ali's paranoia is rarely wrong, even when she doubts herself. Granted, she might run right past ginormous plot points, but none of the details shall escape her grasp!

Fun fact: in s4, we turned Ali's "I'm so worried about Martin" into a whatsapp sticker, THAT'S how often she texted me those exact words

Bone Apple Teeth. also something something DC Universe, help me out here folks bc I know zilch about DC save for Henry Cavill's Superman films (for shame, I know I know)

Jurgen Leitner??? Stupid idiot motherfucking Jurgen Leitner-

No but fun fact, Gerry Keay (and Mike Crew/Ex Altiora) is the reason Ali even started this doc, so we are very very attached to Gerry in this house and only mildly upset at Leitner's demise. Ceci n'est pas un pipemurder.

mag 39 "Infestation"

- WORMS

'nuff said

Poll time: the two genders are as follows ->

Michael's stabby shenanigans and not!sasha being, well, not Sasha. Rude.

I've hit the max image limit, so wait for the self reblog for more rambling if you so please <3

[awlimagines]

Hello! I‘m a big fan of your works but unfortunately I am extremely shy and can‘t muster up the courage to really comment or anything. I just wanna say I appreciate your stuff a lot, a wonderful life is one of my biggest comfort games and unfortunately I don‘t see as much content for it as I‘d wish there was, so seeing you write about it always brings a smile to my face :^)

Also while I can‘t say I wanna kiss him badly I‘m glad to see more Daryl appreciation, I love my best friend Daryl he deserves more appreciation LOL (we love weird freak men here)!

Sorry to drop off a request like this but if you‘re still taking rqs: Bachelorettes & Bachelors helping the farmer with painful period cramps? I know this kinda takes out the ambiguity of the farmer‘s assigned gender at birth sorry haha ^^“ (I myself suffer from painful cramps unfortunately hence I‘m a fan of this type of x Reader stuff haha)

Have a good day and keep on going, but remember to take breaks too from time to time (•w•)/

Sorry, it took me a while to get to this!! It made me really happy to see when I was feeling so sick though!! <3

Fortunately, I've never experienced period cramps to the point I couldn't function. I've been blessed that mine have always been relatively manageable without many issues. My husband is very supportive of anything I need (even if I just want something and not actually a need). Having said that, these might be pretty vague and light on details just because I don't have a ton of specific experience beyond friends who had conditions that made theirs terrible.

Also, I don't mind writing for a specific gender. It just seems fair, for the most part, to keep it as vague as possible so everyone can enjoy it. So, I keep it as gender-neutral as possible by default. Please, please send me any requests you have! I do my best to write the ones I receive and enjoy them greatly. :3

Anyway, enough rambling from me. Each bachelor/bachelorette is below the cut!

How They Help You with Painful Period Cramps

CELIA / CECILIA

She only vaguely understands the pain you feel. Cecilia was blessed with light periods devoid of cramps. But, what she lacks in experience, Ceci makes up for in sympathy. During your periods, Cecilia divides her time between working at Vesta’s farm and helping at yours. If you try to protest her working so much the young woman chides you about learning to accept help when needed. Ceci also quickly gets Vesta on board, and you join them for meals each time to limit your cooking. Both women offer you suggestions to help alleviate your pain.

CODY / GORDY

When Gordy encounters you curled in a ball, his first instinct is to fetch Dr. Hardy. You quickly explain that it’s unnecessary; this is a regular occurrence. The silent artist stares at you momentarily, absorbing your explanations before quietly excusing himself. While the thought of his abandoning you during such a time stings, you try to comfort yourself. You’re surprised when Gordy returns within a few hours and apologizes for taking your horse. He was in a rush and didn’t think to ask first. Gordy asks about pain medicine and a heating pad as he unloads various snacks and drinks from the Mineral Town General Store. He insists you tell him immediately if you need anything else.

DARYL

At first, you feel annoyed with the scientist as he rambles off the biology behind your pain. You soon realize the lecture is helping to keep Daryl calm as he assesses the situation and how to assist you best. Beyond some measly chocolate he had on hand, he is not much help the first time. Daryl makes up for this the second time and is prepared with various remedies that might help you feel better. Before long, he has your cycle memorized better than you and is always ready with the things that help you best. He doesn’t offer much help with your cattle but rambles ideas about a watering system to reduce your work for crops.

FLORA

Despite your pain, you find yourself more concerned about Flora. You were explaining how terrible your pain was through gritted teeth when Flora agreed. You couldn’t help but blink in shock at the archeologist. She said she felt the same during her period but just focused on work and tried her best to ignore it. Flora seemed surprised when you offered suggestions and shared your resources to help her. She doesn’t want to take from you. This soon becomes the most extensive argument of your relationship before you both eventually agree on a system to support each other. Flora dotes on you and consistently makes sure you have everything you need while you gently remind her it's okay to take breaks and take care of herself as well.

GUSTAFA

It hit unexpectedly when you were spending time with Gustafa at his yurt. Even through the pain, you felt embarrassed and stuttered out an apology, planning an exit to your farm. The musician caught on quickly to your pain and offered supplies. You were shocked to find the man so well prepared, and he explained that having female friends and keeping extra became a habit to try and help. Gustafa steps outside to give you privacy. He soon offers to have you stay, and he can fetch you anything you might need from home. Regardless of your decision, Gustafa is supportive. He admits to being a bit hopeless in the kitchen but does his best to wait on you hand and foot. He insists on handling any errands you need to be done and hovers if you want to do farmwork in case he’s needed.

LUMINA

You quickly learn that the life of the rich is different from what you expected. At the first mention of your intense period pains, Lumina has already arranged a meeting with Dr. Hardy to guarantee there are no medical causes of your pain. Lumina also insists on you staying at the manor under her care, and with Aunt Romana as backup, it doesn’t give you much choice. They both casually tell you Sebastian will tend to the farm with Takakura until you recover. It isn’t until you explain the guilt of putting more work on the butler makes you feel worse that she relents. Instead, Lumina focuses on learning your favorite dishes and bringing them to you throughout each period. She also masters the art of getting you to accept expensive remedies.

MARLIN / MATTHEW

Despite living with two women, you can tell Matthew is uncomfortable talking about your period. It doesn’t stop him from assisting however he can. Like Cecilia, he does more work to help you at the farm during your periods. While he seems most comfortable helping with the physical labor, Matthew does his best to cook meals for you. He’ll also mumble out suggestions to try and help with the pain. When you discover Matthew has been asking other female residents on your behalf, his face turns red like a tomato. He avoids looking at you as he grumbles about it not being a big deal if anything helped you.

MUFFY / MOLLY

Molly experiences cramps, though she admits they’re not quite as painful as yours. She shares remedies and methods to help from the vast social network of her city friends. You weren’t thrilled with her idea of spa days when Molly first arrived at your farmhouse. The blonde gently bullied you into giving them a try with an adorable pout. They quickly grew on you as you sank into the hot springs and relaxed with Molly. The worst days of your period soon become filled with the hot springs, good food and drinks from the cafe, and plenty of conversation with Molly. While your pain may not be gone, her support and company help make it more bearable.

NAMI

You both slowly realize there are times you never see each other. It turns out Nami suffers similarly to you and essentially just holes up at the inn as she becomes irritable. You tentatively offer suggestions for the things that help with your pain. A sigh of relief escapes you as Nami returns the gesture with her solutions. You’re surprised when you drag out from your bed during one to find Nami at your door. She offers to share the homecooked food the doting Lou made. Nami and you soon have a system alternating between the farm and the inn. You both find comfort in knowing someone else understands your pain and struggles and can provide support.

ROCK

Rock has the best intentions, but you can tell he never paid attention to sex education in school. The blonde surfer understands almost nothing about periods. You're annoyed at his appalled look when you have to explain the menstrual cycle and the source of your pain. The feeling doesn’t linger long when he calls asking if you prefer lemon or lime at the store for your products. You can’t help but laugh as you hear a female worker lecturing him in the background. Rock has to be gently reminded not to eat all your snacks, but he always comes around with new movies from your favorite genre to watch while you cuddle together.

[againstacecilia]

Stayed home sick today because my period is Out Of Control but I had a Pedro Pascal dream that I want to share with you. (It's really only important to me so feel free to scroll lol)

We're in a coastal town somewhere (not sure where, just restaurants and shops right along the ocean) when Pedro and Oscar Isaac show up. Minimal paparazzi, we're just able to sit down and all have a conversation as a big group. As they're getting ready to leave, I ask Pedro if I can have a private conversation with him (??) and he smiles and says sure. We step away from the group and I start bawling, telling him something along the lines of:

"Watching you act is more than just watching a show or a movie. It reminds me why I used to love acting as well. You help me get lost in a character and, subsequently, the story. When I watch you act, I get to see the love you have for the craft and it both makes me miss it desperately but also makes me feel at home again."

This man, after wrapping me in the warmest hug, said:

"If I remind you of all that, then it's time to do it again. Get back on stage."

He said other things that I'm having a hard time remembering, but I'm surprised I didn't wake up sobbing. They were all so supportive of picking performing back up again and in such a "if your heart is there, do it" kind of way. And it just felt so genuine. Like I was actually talking to one of my heroes and they were giving me advice. And it was all in my brain??

I haven't thought of auditioning for a play in so long, but I miss it all the time. I started acting when I was 11 and was pretty consistently in plays and musicals though my Freshman year of college. Then I changed my major and stopped. Life caught up to me.

I'm rambling now but also just processing whatever my subconscious is trying to tell me. Using Pedro Pascal lol. Also, I never got to talk to Oscar before the dream ended so maybe my brain will pick up a part two someday. 😂

[percysjakcson]

so i still haven’t watched the last season of b99 and before watching it i’m doing a full rewatch of the show… boi did i miss the nine-nine 🥹🥹🥹

[juliedrawz]

🌼 Big Info/Update on my "Coco" Book 🌼

So it's almost been a year ...

Wow! What a journey so far! I wanted to take my time to talk to you "every dear one of you who loves my art and follows me" for a bit. Now, this will be a long post so keep that in mind!

I cannot remember a year in which I went through so many changes. I grew a lot mentally and I learned a lot. When I first watched Coco, I didn't know at all what kind of impact it will have on me. I know it did for a whole lot many more than just me. It's not just a movie, it's something that moved my heart in depths I cannot explain. Look, the only movie franchise who ever was able to impact me that deeply was Lord of the Rings/Hobbit, but then Coco came along and well ... Héctor! ... and Ernesto.

But talking about Héctor in every little detail possible is planned for another post. There is so much! And Ernesto even more. Ernesto is actually (has actually) been my biggest surprise this year 🤯 And let me tell you why for a little because this is a important part of this whole post!

Villains. We all know what a villain is. When I first saw Ernesto, I was instantly drawn to his charmful personality. I love mexico! I love mexicans, (they happen to be one of the funniest, kindest and most temperamental ones I ever came across and they understand how to celebrate life and death!) At first, we only see what Ernesto can do without knowing anything just yet. I was blown! Let me get this down, he's a musícan with a inrcedible voice (I have an opera education background so I connect to his trained voice), he's a actor, a showman, he's a phenomenal horseback rider and he's handsome! I don't need to tell you about the punch in the guts you end up having later!

Oh, yes! Something I would say! Seriously! I do act like that whenever I am burning for something! *cough* snowflakes quite recently! It was late and my boss only had 1 client left and it started snowing big flakes and I went full child excited mood "think Ernesto and fireworks" until they hit me with their "Augh, snow! Cold, wet, annoying!" And then I literally turned into this cinematic drama queen telling them about nostalgia and the spirit of christmas! *laugh* Their faces 😆 Bah humbug! Truly!

Can you imagine Ernesto in the role of Ebenezer Scrooge? I can! 😆 Héctor, Ceci and Imelda as the 3 spirits of christmas. Yes sir! I want that for christmas! *cough* aaand I'm rambling! I was talking about my book ... yes ... back to that!

Anyway! Moving on! I've told you before that as an INFP personality it's in my nature anyway to think and feel myself deeper into things (whatever they are) and I need about 2 or 3 rows to analyze and solidifying my opinion. That's what happened with Ernesto. Yes, at first I was "heck this guy!" Mildly said, I did not like Ernesto. One. Bit. I was mad and I, for the first few moments, labled him as a villain too! But then I rewatched and rewatched and rewatched Coco and I analyzed Ernesto. And after I went "wait a dang minute!" I realized, no, this man is certainly not your typical "Bad guy!" And after my Dad "an ex-soldier and chef prison guard" confirmed my analysis, I started researching and studying on human behavior, trauma (PTSD) and especially psyche! Now, I wanted to do this anyway because of Héctor and Imelda but it played into my hands with Ernesto. But it also flipped my whole opinion of him. It is a canon fact, that Héctor and Ernesto grew up together and were like brothers to each other and I had the statement, that Ernesto isn't proud of what he's done. Oh boy did that flip tables for me! Because guess what! A true villian is evil, period. You don't go thinking about any redemption because they are that far gone! And a truly rotten, evil soul does not regret their actions or deeds, they are perfectly fine and content with them. I would love to share my whole Sherlock Holmes 🔎 action I did on Ernesto with you but I can't because that would def. spoil everything that is to come!

Ok, this whole Ernesto case has changed and impacted my book! And not only that. The longer I wrote, I got back my grammar and writing skills (after not truly writing for years!) I improved and only after months and then going back to the first half of my book, I realized that many things weren't the way I wanted them anymore. The plot was now solid (wasn't at first) some age/timeline aspects changed! I tweaked some things! Grammar too. And that means I will need to go over my whole first bunch of chapters eventually!

Now I really know where my book is heading! From beginning to end! I now have the silver lining! That also means, the Title of my book has changed! But I will change it in time, not just yet!

The thing with Ceci 👓

Honestly, when I first included Ceci in my book, I, just like with many things, as I mentioned, had no idea what to do with her! I knew I wanted her in, because of that one scene! She instantly had me with her sassy attitude. And since it was pretty clear that she and Héctor knew each other and that she's been helping him not only once, I knew that there had to be a connection. And so I went with it. But that was still raw and not well thought through. That came fairly quickly though! And by now, Ceci is, next to Imelda one of the main characters! She plays a big role and she will be very important for the future!

My Book - Not just any other Fanfic

I know that everyone has their own opinion, view of things and headcanons. This is mine! But while it is my headcanon, I had the goal from the moment I sat down and decided "I'm going to do this!" To make my book feel as canon as possible. I knew I didn't just want to create yet another "great" fanfiction, I wanted to create something that is way more than just that. Something that could give huge Coco fans like me something back. Something that has an impact, something that shares what I have in my heart at least a little! I wanted to do something that hasn't been done before! And for once, I dedicated myself to it, no matter how long it will take, I will finish it! Oof, didn't that sound like something Héctor would say?

This thing has become my baby! 😂

I wanted to stay "true" to each character, stay in line and make readers go "yep, that's how it all happened" I wanted the characters to stay real and authentic. I didn't want to change them or make them do things that would fall out of their character. I knew I wanted my book to circle around Héctor mainly but the longer I worked on it, the more I understood that Ernesto, Ceci and Imelda are just as much of a part of Héctor! And developing their story, they became a huge part.

I wanted and still want to bring emotions across as if you'd feel them! I also knew and now I know even more, that my book is "in no way" for children! It is in everyway for us adults, for teens at least! Because I go deeper and touch on topics that are scary, painful, harsh and dark. You'll see that even more in chapters to come!

Conclusion ❗️

Since it's a real book I am working on, I realized that it is pretty normal that some chapters take weeks, sometimes even months to write. I understood that it's ok to take my time! And if it ends up taking me 2 or 3 years to finish it. I stopped feeling guilty when I cannot post new content fast enough because it just takes a lot of time and effort. And besides my passions, life happens and continues. Work happens to be exhausting sometimes, not all weekends end up being a free-time for me. And there are family gatherings, normal things to do, as plain as grocery shopping. And recently, christmas. But I appreciate every time I get to work on my book and my art!

-

So, yes, I had to get to this conclution on my own. While it is clear for others. And that has everything to do with my personality. I love pleasing people and making people happy. And by all means, I love love love what I do! If I could I would double my arms and work on more tings faster! Sometimes I wish I could stay home and work on my hobbies only but that isn't going to happen for me.

So at that point. I want to say "Thank you!" AGAIN! For all you guys who have been sticking around so far! For all the kind words! I hope you'll stick around for the next year/years to come and keep Coco alive!

🌼 Coco is timeless 🌼

It is so much more than just bringing across a deep important message! It has earned itself a very special place in my heart! It has caused me to pick up writing again, and it made me pick up my guitar and finally learn it! I will finish telling Héctor's story! And Ernesto's along with it! And I am no longer scared if some might end up hating it or calling me crazy for it! Because, like Héctor said, then I am, un poco loco! And I want to be nothing else!

[yooniesim]

More on topic to the sims, I have made one (1) build buy item from scratch and have concluded i am a cc making genius. Perma paywall patreon coming soon /j 😂

...Fr tho, I'm so excited, making it was so much fun! So much so that I'm tempted to make a whole lil set. If I do, I'm hoping I can get it done before the end of BHM but that may be impossible atp ahsjdkdk. But either way I think you guys are gonna love it and I'm so excited to share it aaaaaaa

[volostan]

Je suis super curieuse de tout tes headcanon ! Où peux-t-on les lire ?

(English version below the cut)

Hey ! Désolé d'avoir pris autant de temps à répondre ! Je n'ai jamais vraiment pris le temps d'écrire ou de lister tous mes HC, il faudrait sans doute que je le fasse à un moment... Ceci étant dit, tu peux filtrer mes posts avec les tags #au, #headcanon

Hello ! Désolé pour le délai de réponse ! Je n'ai pas pris le temps d'écrire ou de lister tous mes HC, il faudrait que je le fasse... Ceci dit j'évoque certains de temps en temps, tu peux les trouver avec les tags #au, #headcanon et éventuellement #volo.txt. Ce ne sera pas exhaustif et il n'y a pas que les miens mais c'est déjà ça !

Plus qu'à espérer que j'ai bien tout tagué correctement...

I'm very curious about all your headcanons ! Where can I read about them ?

Hey ! Sorry for keeping you waiting on the answer ! I never really took the time to write down or even list all my HC, I should do that someday... That being said, I do ramble about some of them from time to time, you'll be able to find them with the tags #au, #headcanon and maybe #volo.txt. It'll not be exhaustive, and they're not all mine, but that's a start !

Now we can only hope I tagged everything thoroughly...

[ezrisdax-archive]

🍓 because I'm shameless ;)

ceci!!!! we're gonna meet this year and I'm so so excited!! you're absolutely amazing and I'm so glad we met through trek cause where would I be without you these days. you're extremely patient and I know I can always talk to you when I need to (and god knows I need to ramble.) you write astoundingly in character fic and have the Most Correct take on things and I love you 💜💜💜💜

[buckjamesbarnes]

Ugh my last post isn’t showing up in the tags, trying to reupload it 😩😩😩