@cewylleuad | “have you been waiting up this whole time?”
❛ fuck, remus - ❜ sirius all but throws himself at remus. it would be embarrassing, any other time. but he’d waited so long that he’d thought - well, he’d only had the worst to imagine, and it’s like seeing a ghost, even if remus is only a few hours late. once sirius has established that remus is here, and solid, he sets about running bony fingers over him ; his face, his neck, his arms. checking, really, to make sure he’s intact.
sirius is shaking.
this safe house is a nicer one, a one bedroom flat lit by a warm glow and bathed in warm light, and sirius hadn’t even realised it had gone dark outside, has been too wrapped up in his own thoughts. ❛ i thought that - when you didn’t come at the right time i thought -- ❜ he swallows, breathes. ❛ are you alright? ❜
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@cewylleuad
christmas isn’t what it was. it hasn’t been for a while now, but this feels...different. loneliness seems to permeate the very ground, the walls of the burrow. ginny’s home no longer feels like a home anymore. it’s...emptier. even with charlie here, ginny feels as though there’s very little to rely on.
the rest are here too. besides ron, of course. besides harry, and hermione, who always come for christmas for at least a few days. bill’s here, with fleur. a few others, scattered. it isn’t safe, ginny knows that. and professor lupin - remus - is here. he seems...lost. it’s the first thing she notices.
it’s late, and ginny is tired, curled as close to the fire as she can get. normally it’s died down by now, but mum keeps it going later for her. ginny’s never mentioned why ; she thinks her mum doesn’t need to ask. quiet footsteps call her attention and ginny turns, body feeling far older than its seventeen years. ❛ can’t sleep? ❜ lupin is tall -- and seems like he doesn’t want to be. ❛ seems to be going around. ❜
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‘ LISTEN. I KNOW IT isn’t you. ‘ that much, sam could’ve guessed on intuition alone, but evidence backs the case, and he has reason to believe remus was a docile individual--despite the grisly scarring leeching up-and-down his face, he seemed .. nice. strangely so--no matter what sort of provocation he could rise to. people could do things when they were pushed, and he knew that well enough.
maybe he’s just trying to reassure him. ‘ my brothers less keen on giving anyone the benefit of the doubt. in fact, if.. he knew that you were.. what you are.. he’d.. probably kill you. and be mad at me for not telling him. ‘ it’s with a sort of familiar resignation that sam relays this tidbit, shifting his hands into his pockets. the hoodie is warm, and feels good where his fists sink.
‘ i’m not going to let that happen. but it’d go easier if you helped me. ‘
@cewylleuad
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“ just tell me what happened. ” / @cewylleuad
a long hum is all that comes in answer . he can feel remus’ eyes boring into him, but he tries to pretend he doesn’t notice, eyes square on his paper, watching the ink run out of his quill even though he barely knows what words he’s putting on the page . he thinks instead of the full moon, the four of them ending up in hogsmede together, wandering a little too close to the high street . it had been a close call, it had lucky james and sirius had both been there to deter the wolf from entering the village. james considered the unpredictability of the full moon half the fun of it, always an adventure that shifted every time . but this had left him cold, something gnawing at his insides . if he felt like that, he was sure remus would feel worse . hence the effort to avoid explaining too much .
he didn’t like lying to his friends . but he’d do it if he had to, smooth the details out for them . he finally looks up, messy hair in his eyes as he shakes his head, a hand reaching for his friends shoulder . he squeezes, forces himself to meet remus eyes ❝ moony - nothing happened . don’t worry about it ❞
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JUST BEHIND HIM , Lily tugs gently on his ear. “ ––– Will you be deigning me with your presence for rounds, Mister Lupin? ” Proper accent rolling off her tongue like water. Fun to play with, after having spent most of the morning working over the tongue-twister nightmare that was to be found in the journey towards perfect enunciation of Multicorfors.
She still seeks refuge away from the monotony of schoolwork, and a night spent alongside Remus tucked away at the Astronomy Tower seems to be just the remedy. “ Looks like it’ll be a rather busy night for it. ”
@cewylleuad / starter call.
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HE’S BEEN HOLDING THE PHOTOGRAPH FOR HOURS NOW. Unsure what to do with the faces beaming back up at him. His annoyance with the way in which Moody had sprung this peculiar gift on him has worn off, yet his stomach still twists in knots as he rubs his thumb against the corners of the image.
( They couldn’t have known, could they? They were standing among graves, these happy faces doomed to meet some terrible fate. They wouldn’t be smiling if they had known. )
He had allowed, only partly begrudgingly, for Ron to borrow his broom maintenance kit in the hopes that it would shift thoughts ( and attention ) away from a disparity of badges. But there was no distraction for this. In it, his parents are wound up in each other. In it, he thinks he can see his dad about to say something. And he wishes, beyond all reason, that some charm could exist to extend the moment.
He wants for such stupid things, at times.
Harry straightens at the sound of approaching footsteps, ready to stash away this burden of a treasure at a moment’s notice. What tumbles out is the first thought that springs to mind, something to pull from wet eyes and a short sniffle, “ I’m not hungry. ”
@cewylleuad / sc.
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@cewylleuad said: “is everything okay?”
his side ached and his body was begging him to just lie down but he couldn’t, every moment he was still he felt like he was missing out or guilty that he wasn’t doing something to help. he was fairly convinced that he was doing a good job covering up the pain, beyond a sideways glance from moody when he winced as he sat down so he’s caught off guard by remus’ question. “why wouldn’t i be?”
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happy birthday, lily! (can assume it’s accompanied by at LEAST a card And a mountain of honeydukes probably tbh!!!) @cewylleuad
birthdays are the only days were it’s acceptable to eat chocolate for breakfast . at least , that’s what lily told herself as she gorged herself on one of the boxes of chocolate she had received for her birthday . now she’s sat in the great hall , golden plates full of bacon and scrambled egg laid out in front of her , but she doesn’t touch any of it . only her goblet full of cold pumpkin juice . her stomach is full to bursting , certainly aching from the amount of sugar she had consumed in her dormitory . and yet she doesn’t regret it , because it’s her birthday .
❝ thank you , remus ! ❞ a grin breaks out across pink lips . the card is propped up by her goblet and empty plate , nimble fingers fumble with the wrapping on the present . her stomach gives a lurch at the sight of yet more chocolate . and though she feels a little sick , she can’t resist opening up a chocolate frog , nibbling on a leg as she reads the card . rowena ravenclaw . of course , she already has it . after six years in the wizarding world she’s already collected the most common cards as well as some of the more rare ones . though her collection is not yet complete . ❝ want it ? i’ve already got her . ❞
for the first time since remus joined her , she properly looks at him . notes how his skin is paler than usual , how the bags under his eyes look darker . bottom lip is pulled between her teeth . lily’s had her suspicions , of course . she’s noticed how remus disappears once a month , returning looking sickly . but if her suspicions are correct , then she wants him to come to her when he’s ready . she won’t accost him , won’t force a confession . she simply smiles , pushing a bar of honeyduke’s chocolate towards him . ❝ eat ! by order of the birthday girl . ❞
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@cewylleuad ♡ starter call.
The people look at him funny and though he knows better than to believe that they know what really happened during the full moon, he feels strangely exposed walking through the town. It’s taken him some time to talk himself into handling this, certainly longer than he’d like to admit, and by the time he reaches the buyer to explain the lack of results, he’s sure he’d be on his way in no time at all. But they seem desperate enough to give him another chance, and though he’d rather leave all this behind him, the pay is good and Jude knows he needs it. So against his better judgement, he stays, and thus finds himself facing the very reality of having to wait until the next full moon to solve this, should he not figure who the werewolf is before that. With great regret, he finds it seems rather likely. He has no idea how to actually approach people about this, and frankly he’s still too busy trying to forget about the outburst — and it feels sort of fitting just then he realizes he’s been staring at someone without realizing he’s doing it.
❝ Fuck, uhh — sorry! ❞ He’s quick to say, cheeks flushing with embarrassment. He’s avoiding looking at him now, finding it ironically fitting that he’d come off as weird when all he’s been trying to do was not to seem like a freak. ❝ Didn’t mean to stare. Just got a bit lost in my thoughts. . . I hope I didn’t freak you out or something. ❞
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🎥
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mf1ChkziFIQ
send me a 🎥 for a vine that sums up your character | @cewylleuad
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@cewylleuad
❛ how lovely to see you here. ❜ sirius’ voice is warm as he rounds remus’ shoulder, two glasses of wine in his hands. he passes one to remus with nary a hesitation, and falls easily into his air of unaffected observation, watching finely dressed men and women spin past them across the floor. it really is a beautiful display ; even if something is capturing sirius’ attention far more easily.
remus is tall, and charming ; invited to these events despite his status, with the understanding that he will engage socially and go no further with any women about. all this sirius hears from his own mother, though in unkind terms and lathered with outrage. sirius is, privately, incredibly pleased at the whole affair. ❛ though i fear your usual partners may not attend tonight. you must be terribly bored. ❜
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every day i send nat 17 posts in anticipation of her waking up
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'it was night, and now its day.'
fun spn quotes. / always accepting. / @cewylleuad
‘ YEAH, YOU, UH, HIT YOUR HEAD and passed out. ‘ sam shuffles through a brown paper bag, vaguely discolored at the seat of the seam. he retrieves a warm item wrapped in cylindrical aluminum foil, palming the breadth of it to offer it forward. ‘ you want one? it’s a supreme gyro. onions and feta and stuff. ‘ not his first choice, but certainly not the last–sam would’ve preferred the house salad and tzatziki sauce, if he’s honest. ‘ i’ve never seen a werewolf do that before. i sorta, um, expected .. different .. from somebody whose been turned for a while. ‘ or, if he’s to be believed, for the majority of his life. sam didn’t see the fresh canals of teeth marks at the back of his neck, so he was inclined to believe him for now.
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‘✉’ for five times my muse didn’t text yours, and one time they did /@cewylleuad
1:
remus,
heard you’re sick in the hospital wing. We tried to get in, but madame pomfrey wouldn’t let us. So then we tried to sneak in, and she caught us. So I’m sending this owl to the hospital wing, no clue if you’ll get it. Hope so.
Everyone just wants to say we hope you feel better soon, and we miss you up in the dorm. Hurry up and feel better, will keep trying to get in to see you until then.
from james, (sirius and peter too)
2: christmas holidays, 1973
rem,
Hope your holidays are going well. I miss you all a lot, obviously. Mum and Dad had a huge party for christmas, kind of hated it, but they did let me drink butterbeer all night, so I guess it wasn’t all bad. Pass along my hello’s to everyone else left at school.
I was thinking about your furry little problem, and our potentially furry solution? Tried to ask dad a little about the potion, but he said he doesn’t know much about that. I guess potions for hair solutions and animagi transformations aren’t really the same thing.
Just realised I wrote that down. Hey, if you’re a ministry official reading this - this is a totally, definitely theoretical mention of animagi. Actually, better start over, just to be sure.
3: august 1976
moony
I know I already told you Sirius is here. But he's in the other room, so I’m writing a real quick follow up letter about him. A secret one between us, because he’d probably go ballistic if he knew I was telling you this.
I’m really worried about him. You should’ve seen the bruises he had all over him when he turned up. It was horrible. But I’m actually glad you didn’t see beca
at this point, sirius came back and james stuffed the letter out of sight, and then never got a chance to finish or send it.
4: 20 november, 1980
moony,
I hope by the time this letter gets to you, you’re an engaged man. (engaged to SIRIUS, obviously). And if he hasn’t done it yet, I’m going to yell at him for being an idiot who doesn’t listen to my advice. (if he is an idiot who hasn’t done it yet, sorry in advance for ruining the surprise). in any case, congratulations! Bloody stoked for the two of you. It’s perfect. I can’t imagine a better match - Lily just read that over my shoulder. she just said, ‘what about us!’. She’s right. You’re the second best match, after us. Sorry.
Wish I could say all this in person. Just read back over this and realised it’s a mess. Just so excited for you two
5: 1980
R,
I haven’t heard from you in a while, and neither has S. I’m a bit worried, to be honest. I know everyone is off doing things for D, but I just want to know that you’re okay. I’m missing you a lot. Not the same without everyone around. It’s a bit quiet. I know there’s all sorts of rumours going around, paranoia about traitors and such. Just wanted to say, I don’t listen to that sort of chatter .
Please let me know you’re okay
J
the letter was sent, but never delivered. the owl never found remus’ location
6: sent october 30, arrived november 2nd 1981
moony,
Happy Halloween ! hope this letter finds you before the day, but I’m using a new owl, so I’m not sure. There is so much to say, and I can’t say most of it over letter. You know what it’s like out there.
L sends her love. Nothing much new with us, except that H is getting so big, I can’t believe it. He walks now! and babbles and talks. he says Da, it’s so cute. Can’t even describe how it makes me feel, but it’s the best feeling ever.
There are so many things I want to say but we don’t have all the parchment in the world. I miss you, I hope you’re okay. I hope you and Sirius are okay. I miss the old days. Maybe this war will end before the years up and we can all breathe. What a christmas present for H that’d be. It’s been so long since I saw you, if you get a chance to visit, please do.
really hope I can see you soon,
p
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STARTER CALL ! @cewylleuad
❝ yeah , our thing is kind of a little different . ❞
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SONGS TO WRITE MY MUSE TO .
whether it be melodies that give you inspiration for your muse or songs that get you into the writing mood — pick songs you find to give you the urge, the drive, or the creativity to write for your muse !
` 01 , guiltless dodie . / there is a wall in my life built by you. you opened a door that no kid should walk through. oh, but i’m not bitter i’m just tired. no use getting angry at the way that you’re wired. i’ll carry your burden ‘till the day that you die.
` 02 , sleep alone two door cinema club / he sleeps alone. he needs no army where he’s headed ‘cause he knows that they’re just ghosts and they can’t hurt him if they can’t see him. and i don’t know if in the morning i will be here and if so let it be known that i was worthy, i was worthy, i was worthy, i was.
` 03 , my boy billie eilish . / my boy’s being sus’, he was shady enough, but now he’s just a shadow. my boy’s being sus’ and he don’t know how to cuss, he just sounds like he’s tryna be his father. my boy’s an ugly crier but he’s such a pretty liar and by that i mean he said he’d change.
` 04 , sweater weather the neighborhood . / all i am is a man, i want the world in my hands. i hate the beach but i stand in california with my toes in the sand. i don’t mind if there’s not much to say. put my finger on your tongue ‘cuz you love the taste.
` 05 , let’s fall in love for the night FINNEAS . / let’s fall in love for the night and forget in the morning. i’m the boy that your boy hoped that you would avoid, don’t waste your eyes on jealous guys, fuck that noise. i know better than to call you mine. you won’t stay with me, i know, but you can have your way with me ‘til you go.
TAGGED BY : @humanzippo xoxoxo
TAGGING : @starstriven, @saeviors, @sweaterpushcr, @misdirectings, @cewylleuad
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