Joan of Arc Couldn't Ride a Horse
My father is Catholic, my mother agnostic, and within me these two magnets war like poles casting off gravity in their urge to repel each other. As a child I became religious at my father's observance, on a whim, that because of my middle name, Joan of Arc is my patron saint. I was stunned. I came from a coastal Oregon town where we rode bikes around, chewed gum if we could get it; built forts on the beach or in the woods. Sainthood, patron saints, Catholicism, the cathedrals of France—all a new, albeit arcane magic. Tell me, as a lost and homesick 11-year old, that a radical woman on horseback is coming to lead me.
We had settled in France, and I was learning French. I knew authoritatively that she was really Jeanne d'Arc, although all I had to go on was an (ironically British) 1971 Ladybird book written by Lawrence du Garde Peach, an English actor and radio playwright who was in military intelligence during World War I. This child's book gently whitewashed the massive overlay of bubonic plague, the Hundred Years' War; virginity exams; threats of rape; the hardness of life in the 15th century.
By the time we found our way to the Rouen marketplace where she was burned I did not care if she was schizophrenic, mad, or called by God to drive the English armies out of France—I believed in her wholly, the way only a teenaged girl can believe in another teenaged girl who has been tied to a stake and burned.
Since that point my long struggle has been away from religion, letting go of the fervent superstitions of faith, to my mother's flip side, viewing religion as weak-minded, for the masses. I wanted to believe that I was smart and scientific. Then, as the slow tragedy of life drove me past that, out of a greater necessity, I began to find the similar persuasions in the way of the Tao, and in the massive, gorgeous visions of Black Elk, and in the perfunctory spiritual power of the AA 12-Steps.
Then, in a story I'm working on, one character turned to another and said: 'You know, Joan of Arc couldn't ride a horse.'
Offended, this sent me down into the research warrens, where I soon ran into the French historian Régine Pernoud and her book Jeanne d'Arc, and also five hours of the double film Jeanne La Pucelle (1994.) Pernoud cemented the deal by confessing that she had always avoided Jeanne for her mythy, overblown teenaged religious saga. However, one day she made that fatal karmic mistake of opening just the right book to just the right page, and the girl's clear treble voice rose from those documents like a mystic voice in a churchyard.
Caught up in a similar manner I found myself writing The Prisoner of the Chateau-Forte du Louvre.
The upshot of all this was that yes, of course Jehanne of Domrémy could ride a horse. Horses were such an integral part of her image that one of her chargers was put to death when she was killed. She had grown up riding her father's plough horses, and ultimately she could handle a galloping Percheron while wearing full armor, carrying a standard, and exhorting an army to follow her—to use an Anglo-French word amalgamated over La Manche—into the affray.
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(The plan was simple.)
(You're currently sitting at a table in the small yard outside where you were staying. Carving away, seemingly without a care in the world. Just out of the way so that anyone coming to the front door through the yard wouldn't see you at first. Isabeau was just inside, Mirabelle right behind him. Madame Odile was at one of the windows, Nille and Bonnie were staying back, not wanting to put Bonbon in danger.)
(All the actors were in place, they had their stage direction, and you had yours. You were the star of the show, and you even had a speech ready for the big bad antagonist who was to show up soon.)
(You listened to the surrounding sounds. Some people walking past, chatting, gossip, you heard birds and insects. The hustle and bustle of Jouvente. You hear the unmistakable sound of the gate to the yard being pulled open.)
(You breathe in and out. Lights. . Curtains. . .)
(You held your breath as you saw your adversary walk right past you. They seemed, nervous. They paused at the front door. Rubbing their side and taking a few breaths. You wait, and speak up as they're about to knock on the door.)
"Ramos?"
(Ramos jumps, and turns around.) "Y-yes? Sorry do, do I know you?"
(You smile.) "Nope! But I know you! You're looking for Isabeau right?"
"Y-yeah! Yeah I am! We're old friends, do you know if he's in?"
(You shake your head.) "Not right now, everyone's gone out on their own errands. I'm holding down the fort until they're back."
"Everyone else-? Ooooh!!" (Ramos smiles and walks towards you. Hmm. They look genuinely excited.) "Wait, are you one of the saviors who helped stop The King?"
"Mmhm" (You twirl your knife.) "Siffrin your trusty traveling rogue at your service~"
(Rogue? Really? We are good with traps, but why rogue?)
(I read it in The Cursing of Château Castle, 4th issue, seemed like a fun title to have~)
"Haha! Well, I'm Ramos, but you already seem to know that." (They hold out a hand.)
(You wave back instead of shaking hands.) "Good to meet you finally, and sorry, I'm not good with touch."
"Ah that's alright!" (Ramos puts his hand down. Looking at their face, did they seem suspicious? Hmm, not likely. They take a seat.) "So, how do you know me?"
"Isabeau talked about you." (You talked so casually, expertly carving away with your knife.) "Quite a bit actually."
"Wh-" (Hmm? Ramos looked genuinely shocked. Their eyes were wide open in attention.) "I-I, what'd he- what'd he say?"
"That you two were friends. Helped each other with the Defenders exams." (That was the lie wasn't it? The one Ramos was spreading? Maybe they were surprised you already knew it.)
"I-. . ." (Ramos blinked, then looked away. They looked, ashamed? Confused?) ". . . He, really remembered me? Mentioned me?"
(You nod in response.)
"That's. . ." (They didn't look you in the eye. They were rubbing their shoulder and sinking into their seat.) "That's, not really true, haha."
(You stop carving.) "Oh?"
(They continue.) "Isabeau he. . . Well. . . I always looked up to him. We were friends, sure, but I was always trying my best to be just as strong as him. Brave as him. Really, he was the one helping me with exams."
(What in the stars. . .)
"I felt like an idiot when I didn't go with him in saving the world. 'That's what a true Defender is' was what I thought. I would have done anything to be as strong. . ."
(Now, cue the dramatic lighting.)
"And so you wished that everyone would see you as his equal." (You say, starting to carve again.)
(Ramos glanced at you.) "H-huh? What do you-"
(You slice off a chunk of wood, it makes a loud sound.) "You made a wish to be just like Isabeau. Strong, brave, loved by everyone."
"I, I don't know what you're-"
"And what you got in return is a new little craft trick." (You emphasize by slicing off another piece of wood.) "Mind craft. Correct?"
(You look up into Ramos' eyes finally. They look terrified.) "H-how, how did you. How do you know."
"I have my ways." (You pause for dramatic effect.) "You touch someone and you change their memories. And You're doing that so everyone thinks You're the best~"
(You could see Ramos starting to sweat. To shake. Clearly, they had no plan to be confronted like this. Why would they? They get to change the script in the middle of the play. Too bad for them, you already had the whole thing memorized.)
"I. . . M-maybe. . ."
"There's no maybe about it." (You say harshly. Another chunk of wood gone.) "You wanted to be the best. Was that your plan yesterday, too? Kidnap Bonnie then show up like you found them yourself? Like you're the hero?"
"Now hold on!" (Ramos stood up.) "I, I-I may have messed around with mind craft but I didn't try to kidnap anyone!"
(You look up at them wearing a bored expression.) "Uh-huh, and so it was some other stranger with a wishing star pendant?"
"Some-" (They pause. Putting a hand up to feel around their neck, and then fiddle with the bandage they had.) "Y-you're just trying to get at me!"
(A strange reaction. Continue provoking them.)
"This isn't a joke Ramos." (You stare daggers into them.) "You tried kidnapping Bonnie. And wanted to change my friends memories. That means we're enemies."
"I didn't- look! I promise I didn't try and kidnap Bonnie, whoever that is." (They're getting desperate.) "Just, just, I can, I can make this right, alright? I'm not even doing anything bad! Right?"
"If You're trying to make yourself be a big strong hero You're doing a terrible job~"
"S-shove it! Go eat a crab! I-It doesn't matter if you know about any of this I just! I-I just need to change your memory a-and then, and then-" (They take a step towards you.)
(You stab your knife through the table. It forms a large, visible crack. Ramos stops in their tracks.)
"I'm not stupid like some people are~" (You wave a hand.) "Come on out."
(There's a click from the front door. Isabeau is standing there, Mirabelle beside him. The rest of the party was gathering behind them. Ramos turned to look.)
(Isabeau's face. . . He looked so pained. No, pained and scared. Scared. Mirabelle was ready to fight. Odile, Nille, Bonnie, all of them looked disappointed. You've seen that look before.)
(Slashing, beating, ripping and tearing away at sadness. That wasn't you, pre-se. But it was a memory you had access to, a Memory of Sadness. You already knew what must be going through Ramos' mind.)
("They're afraid of you")
"I-isa--"
"Why." (Isabeau cut them off.) "Ramos you, you didn't need to. . ."
(They didn't respond. They're shaking.)
(Mirabelle stepped forward.) "Why would you do something like that!? Change someone's memories just so they like you? I know it's hard to, well, fit in sometimes, but doing that's just wrong!"
(They stumble back. Covering their face with their hands.)
(. . . They're starting to cry.)
(You are very good at scaring people.)
(Thank you~ it's all in the eye. All I had to do was act like Stardust did at the last loop. You stand up.)
"You can't just wish your problems away, Ramos." (You walk over to them, now for the great redemption.) "You can just talk to him, y'know. Explain everything and-"
"Siffrin!!!" (Odile's voice, she had shoved past the others and had an outstretched hand. A moment later a wave of force, creative craft, blasted you away from Ramos!)
"M'dame!" (You shake your head and where about to curse out your researcher when you noticed it.)
(Tears. Big, thick tears that dripped like molasses.)
"Gems alive. . ."
"Wh, what is. . ."
"Ramos!?!"
"Look out, everyone!"
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