Tumgik
#chances are I probably won’t know what ur referring to anyway!
bi-scottsummers · 2 years
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I was going to make an anti Scott Summers meme but then I realized you were following me and immediately felt guilty so I didn't do it
LMAOOOO don’t worry anon, my user refers exclusively to scott summers from the early 2000s animated show “X-Men: Evolution”, so if ur feelings are mainly abt the live action abominations then by all means let the meme see the light of day
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meltwonu · 4 years
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| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 3]
pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader
this chapter’s notes; camshow, anal play, panty stuffing, toys that have fake cum, a bit of drunk ‘n dom!seungcheol, masturbation, daddy!kink 😳😏 yall! and we are back! I’m sorry we had to take a pause from last week but hopefully we won’t have anymore issues! 😭😭  this chapter is about 6.5k so strap in for the ride yall! and as always, thank you all soooo much for the support and love on my fics T_T it means so much to me! 💕 I hope yall have a good weekend bbys!! 🍒 
chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - ?
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dom.cheol has donated $250
angelhan: :( i still cant believe i missed ur morning show…
chwenon: me too, i wouldn’t have stayed up til 6am had i known lol
sleepy_wonu: tbf, i couldve gotten kicked out of lab if i got caught watching… worth it tho
dom.cheol: i was at work but anything for u, baby.
You can’t help but pout at the camera reading the comments; knowing that some of your viewers were working or in class when you had done your surprise show. “Aww, m’sorry… I know it was so out of place for me but… You guys probably get it too, right?” You pause, sliding off of the pillow you were sitting on top of. You’d done a short show tonight; doing a strip tease for the camera before mounting a pillow and grinding against it until you came; fingertips gripping onto the silk as breathy moans spilled from your lips.  
“Y’know? When you wake up and you’re just so needy.”
hoshi_tiger_xx: all the time, baby!
gentleman_josh95: literally me this morning ;(
“Right? See you guys get me!” You giggle. The sound of donations and comments sound off in the background as you zone out for a second.
It had already been a couple days since then and this was your first show back. You and Seungcheol had texted sporadically; a little bit of awkwardness on both ends if you were completely honest. He seemed genuinely shy which was not what you expected at first but you also knew it must’ve been weird for him to suddenly have unrestricted access to you. Seungcheol seemed to be unsure of what he was able to ask you or talk to you about, even though you had assured him that you wanted to get to know him just like regular friends.
In your case, Seungcheol was undeniably hot and seemed to really like you which sent the butterflies in your stomach soaring each and every time your phone pinged.
kitty_junjun: hey can i ask a weird question
You tilt your head, eyes blinking cutely at the camera. “Of course!”
kitty_junjun: do u think you’ll ever have a show with someone else? Like a guest or sth? I know we’ve asked before but i’m just curious since your anniversary is comin up again...
Biting your lip, you watch as the others chime in, asking the same question. In truth, you had considered it maybe once or twice. But that came with risks. Not only would you have to find someone who was okay with being on camera with you, but you also ran the risk of losing viewers if they weren’t happy with who it was or how it turned out.
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Seungcheol bites his lip reading the comments; he’d thought about it too.
He thought about if he’d be jealous, which he convinced himself he wouldn’t be. He would.
And whether or not he would pay to be the person to join you on cam and fuck you in front of all your viewers.
He definitely would.
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“Mmm… I mean, I definitely thought about it before? But wouldn’t it be weird to see someone else on my shows? And, like, an actual… guy?” You watch the comments fly past, donations getting lost in the flurry of comments saying that you should do it.
universe_WZ: and miss the chance of seeing u getting fucked and put in ur place like a good girl?
universe_WZ: i will pay top dollar
alphagyu97: same
artist8hao: also same
dom.cheol: you already know how much we’d all love to see your cute lil cunt getting filled up with a real cock, sweetheart.
You bite your lip in thought, glancing at the camera with a coy expression. “Hmm, okay! I’ll keep thinking about it… I really want to but it’s gonna take some time to find the right person and make sure they’re okay with being on cam with me too~”
j__min: u should ask me, i cam sometimes too… we should collab ;)
Trying to hide the awkwardness, you laugh it off, tucking a few stray hairs behind your ear. “Oh? A camboy that watches me? That’s interesting~”
There were usually only 13 of your viewers who you considered to be your ‘regulars’ and you knew them all by their usernames. Of course, there were others who seemed to comment here and there and lots of anonymous donations and comments as well. But the newcomer seemed to be very interested in you and you weren’t sure how to take it just yet.
“Hmm~ Okay! I think I’m gonna end the show here! It’s getting kinda late now, huh? I ended up staying and chatting too long again~”
dom.cheol has donated $300
universe_WZ has donated $100
dom.cheol: it’s okay baby we like talking to u :)
sleepy_wonu: agreed
You stick your tongue out, winking at the camera before you say your goodbyes and last few thank you’s.
“I’ll see you guys next time~ Sleep well and dream of me!”
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Seungcheol takes a deep breath, rolling his computer chair away from his desk as soon as you go offline. You’d been as cute as you normally were, but this time he felt like your lust filled eyes pierced the screen a little harder than usual.
He reaches for his phone, opening your text window before typing a quick response. ‘Great show tonight, baby. ;)’ Pausing, he wonders if it’s a little too weird to text right after you’d finished a show; but instead hits send. The read receipt shows up immediately after which alerts Seungcheol you already had your text window up when he messaged you.
babygirl 🍒 : i was just about to message u!! hehe, how are u?
Seungcheol bites his lip. Would it be too much to call? He ponders.
‘Hey, is it okay to call? If ur busy, it’s okay. Just figured it’d be quicker than typing.’ He hits send before he can regret it, watching as the read receipt shows up under his message again.
In a few seconds, it’s his phone that rings, your display name at the top as he accepts your call.
“Cheollie!” Seungcheol’s heart threatens to beat out of his chest at your nickname for him, hand clutching the phone tightly as he tries to calm himself down. “Hey, sweetheart. Sorry, you must be tired? I just thought this would’ve been quicker.” He chuckles, standing from his computer chair as he makes his way towards his bed.
“Oh, not at all! I’m just tidying up so I have you on speaker right now~ If that’s okay?”
“Mm, of course, baby.”
Seungcheol takes the time to lay in his bed, a deep sigh escaping him as he relaxes into the sheets. “Everything okay, ‘Cheol?” Your voice is soft and gentle; music to his ears as he stares at the ceiling.
“Yeah! Just… the comments have been weird, huh?” He ends it with an awkward laugh, hoping you knew exactly what he was talking about.
“Oh, are you talking about people asking me to invite someone or the new guy in the comments?” Seungcheol doesn’t know which he wants to talk about first. “I guess both?” He inquires, hoping that it’s not too prying.
You make a humming noise on the other end, deciding which one to address first. “Mm, I mean… I would love to have someone else on the show with me but I don’t know… Don’t you think it’d be weird? I feel like I’ve been doing my show for so long by myself but maybe I should start trying other stuff…” You trail off, leaving it open-ended for Seungcheol’s opinion.
“It’s ultimately up to you, sweetheart. But---But if you do, just promise me you’ll make sure everything with this person checks out, okay? I mean--I just want you to be safe, don’t let it just be some weirdo off the internet.” Seungcheol blushes, words leaving his lips in a hurried mess. Sometimes he hated how overprotective he was of you. “And--and make sure they take a STD test and stuff, y’know?” Your giggles pour out of the phone receiver as Seungcheol hides his face in one of his pillows.
“Is this in reference to the ‘j__min’ person offering their services?” Yes.
“No…” Seungcheol mutters, somehow already knowing that you didn’t believe it.
“‘Cheol~ don’t worry. I’m not gonna get into cahoots with someone I don’t know. And honestly, it kinda weirds me out how he came out of nowhere… Makes me wonder if he was some anonymous viewer or donator this entire time and then decided to have a name.” There’s a pause on your end; Seungcheol hearing the washing machine going off.
“And anyway, if I were to do a cam show with someone else, I think I’d want to know them really well, don’cha think? Like a friend, maybe?”
Seungcheol lets you go to sleep after 15 more minutes of chatting; making sure you down a glass of water and get some food delivered before he lets you go for the night.
He places his phone down onto the nightstand, tugging his shirt off as he stands. But his phone pings not a second later, confusion crossing his features as he picks it up.
‘Hey hyung, don’t forget we’re going to that new diner across town tomorrow after work!!! I’m gettin me some disco fries baby!!!! - ggukie’
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Seungcheol ends work 30 minutes later than he should the next day and Jeongguk watches from the concession stand as Seungcheol trudges over, fingertips running through his silvery-blue hair as he sighs.
“Some kid fuckin’ puked in the restroom and nobody wanted to clean it up so guess who did.” He complains, leaning his head onto the cool countertop as Jeongguk pats his head comfortingly. “Not my job but you should’ve called someone else. Where was Yoongi-hyung?”
“Gone, as per usual. We both know he clocks out 30 minutes early.”
The two laugh half-heartedly, making sure they have their things before they leave for the night. The night shift crew had already checked in just a few minutes prior; Taehyung and Hoseok waving them off as they leave.
They hop into Seungcheol’s car; Jeongguk already fiddling with the radio controls as Seungcheol puts in the address for the new diner that had opened up. “I hope this place is good. It seems to get a lot of good reviews for a place that just opened up, like, two weeks ago.” Jeongguk nods, settling into his seat as Seungcheol pulls out of the parking lot.
“We live in a city that’s straight out of an episode of Riverdale. I mean, we work at a roller rink? And there’s diners all over? But we’re in the present day with present day technology? Soon we’ll be Archie and Jughead. Except I want to be Jughead since I have the tattoos so you can be Archie. Or we can both be, like, from the Serpents but I still want to be Jughead.”
Seungcheol raises a brow at Jeongguk’s references.
“I don’t know that show so all of that just went over my head.”
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It takes approximately 30 minutes to get across town; the huge neon lights from the diner welcoming them into the parking lot as Seungcheol parks the car somewhere near the entrance.
“God, was it just me or did that take a long time? I’m fuckin’ starving.” Seungcheol mutters; hopping out of the driver’s seat. “I think you’re just hungry, hyung.” Jeongguk offers, jogging up to the other male as they make their way to the doors.
Thankfully, the place seemed relatively empty for a Thursday night, a lone male standing at the front of the diner in a pastel coloured uniform.
“Hey! Welcome to Dynamite, my name’s Jun! Table for two?” Seungcheol nods slowly, eyes narrowing at the male who, for whatever reason, seemed familiar.
Jun picks up two menus, guiding them to a booth in the far corner of the diner. “We’re just a little understaffed tonight so I’ll also be your server tonight! Can I get you guys some water to start?” The two nod as they sit in the multi-coloured booth. “Hey, can I ask you something?” Jun blinks, nodding slowly as Seungcheol peers up at him from where he’s seated.
“I feel like I’ve met you? It’s weird. I’m pretty sure we’ve never met though…?” Seungcheol trails off, confused eyes meeting Jun’s. Jun wracks his brain, unsure, but feeling the same way. “I dunno, I feel the same but I’m pretty sure we never met. Maybe a past life thing?”
Jeongguk laughs, eyes too focused on the menu in front of him. “Oh, that’d be weird as fuck.”
“Anyway, I’ll come back with your water!” Jun walks away, leaving Seungcheol and Jeongguk to go through the menu.
“Hey, Seungcheol-hyung?”
“Mm?”
“I know you said you’re usually busy on the weekends but I’m doing a PUBG stream on Saturday and was wondering if you wanted to hang? I asked Yoongi-hyung too and he’s coming over to drink and hang out.” Seungcheol’s lips press into a firm line, eyes burning holes into the menu in front of him.
Jeongguk was a video game streamer sometimes and his streaming schedule lined up with yours which is why Seungcheol almost never had a chance to watch or be a part of Jeongguk’s. “Um, what time is it at?”
“I’m thinking of streaming from like 6PM to midnight or somethin’. But you don’t have to be there the entire time! Just thought it’d be cool to hang out on the weekends for once.”
Seungcheol nods slowly, glancing up at Jeongguk who’s already staring back at him. “I can probably show up for a bit? I need to leave by 10 though, I, uh, sleep early sometimes.” He knows Jeongguk doesn’t buy it, but a smile paints itself onto the younger male’s face in an instant.
“Cool! Wow, didn’t think you’d say yes actually.”
The older male nods, a tight smile on his lips. Your cam schedule was almost always on time; Fridays, Saturdays, every other Monday, and every other Wednesday at 11PM. Sometimes you’d have surprise shows, like before, but you often kept to your schedule unless something important came up. “I know, I get so busy on the weekends, y’know?”
Jun comes back with their waters, setting them down on the table before fishing out a pad and paper to take their orders. “What are you doing on the weekends anyway? I feel like I’ve never asked directly but you never return my calls on Fridays and Saturdays.” Seungcheol freezes mid-order, hands gripping the laminated menu. “Um, and a cherry coke, please, thank you. And I told you ‘Guk, I… I just like to unwind on the weekends, I like to enjoy my quiet time so--so sometimes I just turn my phone off, y’know?.”
Jeongguk puts his order in with Jun who runs their order back before he walks off again. “Is working at the roller rink that bad? I know it can get wild sometimes but… are you thinking about quitting?”
In truth, Seungcheol had thought about it before when he was first starting out at the roller rink. But he also knew it paid too well for him to leave just yet. “Nah, just… it gets loud, y’know? I end up doing jobs around the place that I’m not qualified to do. And with Namjoon-hyung gone still, we’re shorthanded. I thought about picking up another job for some extra cash, but with what time?” Seungcheol grabs his glass of water, lips puckered around the plastic straw as he takes a sip.
“You should cam!”
Water sprays all over the table as Seungcheol sputters, choking on the liquid. “The---what!?” Jun runs over with a stack of pink tissues, helping to wipe up the water as Jeongguk stares from across the table with a wide grin. He waits until Jun leaves again; eyes fixated on Seungcheol and the crimson blush that coats his cheeks and ears. “It’d be easy money for you. You’re not exactly ugly, and you can cover your face!”
“Why exactly are you suggesting that!? Why’d you go straight for that!?” Seungcheol screams under his breath.
“Let’s be real, it’s crossed my mind so it’s probably crossed yours too. You can always just game too, but if you need cash quick y’know… And hey, I have some extra equipment so…” Jeongguk trails off, wiggling his eyebrows at Seungcheol suggestively.
Seungcheol had actually thought about that too. Maybe once or twice.
But after he’d spoken to you and found out just how difficult it really was to keep your viewers engaged and how difficult it was trying to find new ideas to bring to your cam show, he knew it wasn’t as easy as most people thought it’d be. You always put in extra effort in your cam shows and it was a whole production with effort and ideas. Sometimes it took you days to even come up with a theme for a show and sometimes it didn’t do as well as you’d hoped.
“Um, if I ever do, I’ll let you know ‘Guk.”
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Saturday comes sooner than Seungcheol knows and he’s antsy. He could barely even enjoy your cam show from the night prior knowing that he had to haul ass back home after Jeongguk’s stream. He plots out the drive home; times it just perfectly so he still has some spare time to relax before your show starts.
For a second, he wonders if it was the right decision or if he should’ve just stayed home like he normally did. But he quickly shakes the thoughts out of his head; glad to get out of his apartment and spend time with his friends on the weekends for once.
He makes it to Jeongguk’s place on time, a box of beer tucked under his arm when he knocks on the door. Shockingly, it’s Yoongi on the other end who greets him; a lopsided smile on his face as he ushers Seungcheol inside. “‘Guk was setting up so…”
“I brought more beer! He said you were spending the night on his sofa so drink all you want, hyung.” Yoongi nods, plopping back down onto the sofa as Seungcheol makes his way towards Jeongguk’s PC room.
The entire room is lined with LEDs, posters of anime and various video games lining all the spaces between the soundproofing pads that Jeongguk haphazardly attached to the wall.
“Yooo, how’s the setup coming?”
“I’m almost ready!”
It takes 20 more minutes of Jeongguk fiddling before he sits in his expensive gaming chair; Seungcheol close behind as he watches the younger male pull up the loading screen. “You’re not drinking, hyung?”
Seungcheol shakes his head, legs crossed as he leans back in the spare desk chair. “Nah, I drove here. Gotta be responsible, kid.” Jeongguk shakes his head, placing his headset and mic on before starting his stream.
“Hey guys! Welcome back to Golden Closet Gaming! I’m doing a PUBG stream tonight and one of my closest friends is here so if you hear him on the mic, that’s definitely not a ghost this time!” A concerned look crosses Seungcheol’s features but he laughs lightly. “Hey guys, I’m Seung---I’m, uh… I’m---SCOUPS!” He blurts out in a hurry; using his gaming username instead.
“And I’m your main player, JK!”
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Watching Jeongguk game so seriously is interesting for Seungcheol. They take a break an hour and a half into Jeongguk’s streaming session to get food and drinks; immediately going back to the PC room right after.
But it makes Seungcheol wonder what it was like on your end to always be alone filming in your bedroom to thousands of people in such an intimate setting. For a second, it makes him sad, wondering if you ever felt lonely after your shows were over. Or if you were so tired and could barely take care of yourself.
I would’ve gladly been the one to take care of you after your shows, he thinks.
“Fuck you too, asshole! Get the fuck out!”
Jeongguk’s screaming brings him out of his sad thoughts; a brow raised as he peers at the screen. How the younger male had the energy to game for so long was beyond him sometimes.
“Uhhh anyway comments are asking what I should stream next week? I dunno, give me some ideas? Not the SIMS again though...” Jeongguk mutters. “Oh, j__min said I should play The Last of Us?”
The name has Seungcheol perking up in an instant, leaning over Jeongguk’s shoulder as his eyes dance over the comments.
j__min: bro u were supposed to stream that like 4 streams ago, wtf 
seokGENIE: its a good game tho, id be interested in seeing how badly u do
j__min: actually yea me too lmao
Seungcheol’s eyes narrow slightly. Surely it couldn’t be? He thinks. The typing style wasn’t the same at all but the username was, which sent Seungcheol’s mind into a frenzy at the possibility.
But unfortunately for Seungcheol, Jeongguk launches into another match which means he had to wait another time to ask about it. He notes it mentally, making sure to get answers as soon as he can.
10PM comes sooner than Seungcheol expects and he lets Jeongguk know when it’s 9:50PM and while they’re in the middle of a break that he needs to go.
“Damn, where did time go? But okay, hyung! Sorry we didn’t really talk and I just gamed the entire time but maybe next time we can actually do something else? Go out for drinks maybe?” He shoots the older male his best puppy eyes until Seungcheol sighs and gives in, nodding as he fishes for his car keys.
“I’ll see you at work, okay?”
Seungcheol waves at Yoongi still glued to the sofa; a tiny wave of his own as he wishes Seungcheol a safe drive home.
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He makes it home at exactly 10:32PM, toeing his shoes off before shucking off his jacket and tossing it onto the back of the sofa. He shuffles to the kitchen and grabs a few beers out of the fridge; already downing two entire bottles before he even makes it to his PC.
The buzz feels good when he sits down, taking a swig of his third bottle as he boots up his computer. In the meantime, he checks his phone, scrolling through apps and deleting notifications.
A text pops up at the top of his phone’s screen.
babygirl 🍒 : see u soon :)
Seungcheol smirks; ego inflated knowing that he was the only one getting that text message.
He checks the clock, 10:56PM, and loads up your profile, simultaneously finishing off his third can of beer since he’d gotten home.
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For whatever reason, you’re nervous when you finally sit down in front of your camera setup tonight. You adjust your baby pink lace bra that Seungcheol had gotten you; a cherry blush on your cheeks as the giddiness pours over you.
Checking the clock, you notice it’s already 10:59PM, finger hovering over the ‘rec’ button before pressing it.
It takes a second before the comments already start flooding in; the sound of donations and comments flying across the screen in an instant.
“Whoa~ You guys are so eager tonight, huh? Already so many donations! Thank you!” You shift slightly onto your side, biting your lip. “We’re already so close to the minimum donations for me to start… what’s up with you guys?”
tangerine_kwan: I’m so glad to see u, yesterday was not enough
therealchan99: fuckin talk abt it dude, i almost quit my job im stressed i need to see u princess
dom.cheol has donated $500
dom.cheol: fuck, baby i need to see your pretty lil pussy already i’m so fuckin hard
Your eyes go wide with Seungcheol’s massive donation. He usually waited until you were mid-show or towards the end to donate such huge amounts of money and yesterday he seemed relatively quiet during your show. It threw you off slightly, but you just assumed he might’ve just been going through some things at the time. “Seems like you guys had a rough week, huh?”
xcaliburDK: gOD u dont even know, ur literally my stress relief, beautiful
kitty_junjun: yea i just started working at a new place and its… weird, just glad to be off today
Pouting at the camera, you lean in a little closer. “Hmm, guess I should start then, shouldn’t I~? Since you all seem like you need a ‘lil escape~”
gentleman_josh95 has donated $45
sleepy_wonu has donated $70
sleepy_wonu: please put us out of our misery, baby
You can’t help but giggle, sliding the bra straps down your shoulders before you unhook the material and toss it to the other side of the bed. “This cute setup didn’t last very long this time! Should I upload some pics later to my private room?”
alphagyu97: plz
chwenon: yes yes yes lewds plz
“Okay~” You pause, fingertips hooked onto the sides of your panties. “I actually… wanted to try a new toy…” You murmur, shyness taking over as you slowly slide your already wet panties down your thighs. Sitting back down, you slide them off completely before you place them next to you, glancing at the comments as you cross your ankles.
artist8hao: wait was that…
universe_WZ: i think so
hoshi_tiger_xx: plz plz plz let us seeeeee
dom.cheol has donated $200
dom.cheol: spread your legs, sweetheart. Let daddy see.
You clench your teeth at the arousal that pools in your lower abdomen; shaky legs parting towards the camera. Squirming slightly, the plug that you had eased into your ass shifts, making you mewl at the feeling. You’d tried using your fingers in the past, but by far, the toy was the biggest you’d used yet.
“I--I… I bought this toy m-myself ‘cause I wanted to… wa--wanted to… start learning how to t-take cock in my ass too…”
The way you sit on the bed has the toy fully seated inside of you, toes curling against the bed sheets as your hazy eyes flit to the camera. “I dunno how long I’m gonna last, it feels so good~” You moan, grinding against the sheets underneath you.
angelhan has donated $150
angelhan: i’m begging please, panty stuffing
You bite your lip, eyes dancing over to the lace material sitting next to you. “Hmm~ I don’t think I’ve ever done that on my show before… Should I try it?” You ask cutely, flashing the camera a cheeky smile. The donations pour in like rain; the pinging making your stream lag for a second as it tries to keep up.
dom.cheol has donated $400
tangerine_kwan has donated $100
dom.cheol: fuck, sweetheart lets see you get those panties fucking soaked
universe_WZ has donated $200
“Guess we have our answer?” You laugh airily, reading a few of the comments that were basically begging you to.
Spreading your legs as wide as you can, you maneuver yourself against your pillows; grabbing the lacy material. You quickly adjust the camera with a remote, zooming in until it’s focused on your soaking folds. “Ngh, I’m already so fuckin’ wet… this plug is really making me feel so full~”
dom.cheol: i bet your cute lil ass could barely take my fuckin cock huh
“Mmh, is daddy gonna fuck my ass and make me cum nice and hard?”
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yes, yes yes, god yes!
Seungcheol could die right now and be happy.
He wraps a hand around his cock, hips shallowly thrusting up into his closed fist as he watches you run your own fingertips through your wet folds before you sink two of them into your tight pussy. His eyes flutter shut, the image of himself fucking your tight ass as you whine and beg for his cum dancing behind his eyelids.
The alcohol in his body has him on edge even quicker; the grip he has on his cock loosening so he doesn’t cum as quickly.
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“A-ah… g--guess it’s time to try this…” You whisper, reaching for the lacy panties. You drag the material up your thigh teasingly, swinging it around your wet fingertips before you place it against your entrance.
You take a deep breath, slowly pushing the panties into your pussy.
tangerine_kwan: oh my god oh my god
alphagyu97: fuck thsts so hot fuck
angelhan: spread your legs more, please god
Your lust filled eyes glance towards the comments, shakily spreading your legs as far as they can go. “O-oh god it--it feels suh--so good…” You mewl, pressing the material further and further into your pussy.
“It’s d-different but… but it’s--it’s--mmh!” 
You’re cumming before you know it, toes curling against the sheets as you cum around the toy in your ass and your fingers and panties deep inside your pussy.
Your legs threaten to clamp shut in an instant, which you fight off; the sound of donations and coins clinking flooding your eardrums. “I--fuh--fuck, I--I didn’t know I was gonna c-cum from that!” You let out a breathy laugh, moaning as you continue to push the panties inside of you until the fabric is completely gone from the camera’s view.
chwenon: now will u sell those
hoshi_tiger_xx: please once again i am begging I AM BEGGING
“Aww~ I wish I could… but you guys know my rules~” You pout; body warm and fuzzy after your first, unexpected orgasm. “God, I didn’t… I really didn’t know that’d make me cum so easily~”
dom.cheol: fuck sweetheart, your cute lil cunt cums so fuckin easily
“I know~ I have such a greedy pussy… Always want something filling me up…” You wink at the camera, reaching for a toy that was out of view. “I have another toy~ hehe, tonight is just full of new things, huh?”
You show the toy off to the camera, shifting so that you're on your knees instead. “It looks like a regular dildo right? But it’s full of cum! Not real cum anyway, but cum lube… It’s not the same but it’ll have to do for now~”
therealchan99: oh fuck oh god
sleepy_wonu: aww is the princess gonna let it cum in her cute ass?
artist8hao has donated $75
kitty_junjun has donated $50
dom.cheol: lets see that ass fuckin take all that cock baby
dom.cheol: let it cum in ur pretty lil hole
dom.cheol: fuck
You zoom your camera back out, turning to your side enough so that you could still see your monitor but also still be in frame. “Yeah? Does daddy wanna see how a good girl takes cock in her ass?” Moaning, you reach behind you, fingers on the end of the plug as you slowly pull it out. The stretch makes your back arch slightly; legs trembling when the larger part of the toy finally breaches past the puckered muscle.
The sudden emptiness only makes you reach for the dildo faster, covering it with lube before you place it against your ass. “D’you think I can take it?”
tangerine_kwan: i kno u can baby
sleepy_wonu: yes eys yes
dom.cheol: daddy knows u can, sweetheart
You place the toy at your puckered hole, biting your lip and telling yourself to relax before you slowly start easing it into your ass. “O-oh fuck…” You had made sure the toy was on the smaller size since it was your first time but the stretch of it still had your body tensing up almost immediately.
It takes a long and torturous minute until the toy is fully seated in your ass; body buzzing at the sensation. “G-god it--fuck, it feels even better than the plug~” You whine, maneuvering until you were sitting down on the toy completely.
You let your body adjust to the new feeling for a moment before you’re bouncing on the dildo, loud cries and garbled moans spilling from your lips. The new feeling has you chasing your high insanely fast; tuning out the comments and noises as you focus on your own pleasure.
Your mind can’t help but imagine Seungcheol again; his hands roaming your skin and his deep voice growling filthy praises into your ear as he fucks you from behind. You clench around the toy and the panties still in your pussy, wrecked sobs on your lips at the thought.
Before Seungcheol, you always imagined nameless hands on your body or even resorted to thinking about other videos you’d seen to help get you off. Some days it was harder and some days you were cumming in under five minutes. But now that Seungcheol had a name and face to you, it was impossible for you to imagine anyone else fucking you.
“Shi---it, I--I wanna cum!”
dom.cheol: already? Fuckin greedy lil ass
dom.cheol: cum, sweetheart. Let daddy cum in ur tight ass too
universe_WZ has donated $100
alphagyu97 has donated $75
You alternate from bouncing on the dildo to swiveling your hips; reaching a free hand down to rub circles around your swollen clit. “Already? Can I cum?” You whisper, mind already a puddle of goo now that you were so close.
kitty_junjun: cum
xcaliburDK: cum
chwenon: cum
dom.cheol: you heard them, sweetheart. Cum. Now.
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Seungcheol’s grip on his cock tightens after he sends the comment; growls spilling from his lips as he watches you bounce on the toy. His cock throbs in his hold, already feeling himself just as close to his orgasm as you were to yours.
“Fu--fuck I’m cumming! D---daddy!” You cry, slamming yourself down onto the toy as you cum hard. Seungcheol bites his lip to keep in his own screams; streaks of cum landing on his shirt and jeans as he works himself through his own orgasm.
He tries to keep his eyes focused on you in the midst of his orgasm, watching as you squeeze the base of the dildo until the cum inside starts to pour into your ass. “O--oh god!” You mewl, still thrusting the toy into your ass.
Seungcheol’s mouth goes dry when you reach a shaky hand between your legs, fingertips dipping into your pussy and pulling the soaked lace until half of it is in view of the camera. His grip on his cock tightens, moans on his lips when you then slowly start pulling the dildo out of your ass; the fake lube immediately spilling out of your ass and onto the bed sheets and sliding down onto the panties.
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universe_WZ: oh my god oh ymg f
xcaliburDK: eyeeeeeee
kitty_junjun: i
You push the fake cum out, soft cries on your lips as the last bits of your orgasm roll through your body. The fake cum feels slightly cold which sends a shiver up your spine as it drips down your legs.
“Mmh… god that---that was intense…” You mumble, upper body slumping against the sheets.
You reach a hand between your legs again, making sure you’re in the camera’s view when you tug on the panties again; this time pulling them all the way out as you groan.
alphagyu97: if ur not selling those can it be a giveaway
alphagyu97: make it a raffle
You toss the soiled fabric to the side, mindful of the puddle of fake cum soaking into the sheets as you readjust your tired self in front of the camera. “You guys really want these, huh?” You laugh, responding to a few other stray comments asking for the soaked material. Your entire body is tingling from all the new sensations, mind going a mile a minute with the adrenaline coursing through your veins.
Slumping forward, you thank your viewers again, yawning as you stretch out. “I think I need a bubble bath now~ ‘m so messy!”
hoshi_tiger_xx: we love a messy girl ;)
therealchan99: fuck yea we do
Letting a few more viewers leave donations, you start saying your goodbyes; wishing everyone a good weekend before you blow a kiss to the camera and sign off.
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Seungcheol sends one last donation of $550, jaw clenched and cock still throbbing.
He reaches for his phone on instinct, opening your text window. Pausing, he grins. Maybe it was the alcohol in his system but he opens his camera app, flipping it so that it’s on him as he snaps picture after picture of his cum covered torso and his free hand still wrapped around his hard cock.
Smirking, he opens your text window again, thumb dancing across the keyboard with renewed energy.
‘fuck, princess. your fuckin show got me so hard. those panties were fuckin soaking from how much u liked getting ur ass fucked huh? I bet i could get u to cum just from me fuckin your cute lil ass... probably wouldnt even need to touch ur clit or fuck your cunt to get your tight walls cummin for me. but ur a greedy lil thing arent u? probably would still want a toy to keep that pussy nice n sated. fuck, im still hard even tho i already came once.’
He hits send before he thinks twice, quickly attaching a few of his own pictures before he locks his phone and tosses it onto his desk.
Seungcheol’s body is sensitive from his first orgasm still, but his hips thrust up into his closed palm again; head leaning up against the headrest as he lets out harsh breaths. His eyes flutter shut, eyelashes tickling his skin.
This time his imagination runs wild; hands tangled in your hair while he tugs on it, forcing your back straight against his chest as he fucks into you hard and fast. He imagines your sweet voice begging him to let you cum, walls tight around his cock when you fall apart on it.
“Fuck!” He cums hard, body rigid as his free hand digs into the armrest and the air is knocked out of his lungs.
Seungcheol vaguely hears his phone pinging in the background; mind hazy as the waves of his orgasm wash over his body.
When he starts to come down, he slumps against the chair, sleepiness already taking over with his two orgasms and the alcohol still in his system. He mentally makes a note to get rid of his soiled clothes another time, tiredly reaching for his phone.
He stares at it through his blurry vision, barely making out your name before he blinks the tiredness away enough to read your message.
babygirl 🍒: hehe~ does daddy want my panties then? i’ll gladly give them to u if u want them~ 😚
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hyperfixationtimego · 3 years
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Taka gets sad and Mondo just. Hug. With permission. And shows him his dog plushie bc they are That Close and Comfortable w each other
Mm yes cuddles yes I am projecting
And they take naps and it’s nice so they both finally get good sleep (there are neurological benefits to that!! I won’t go into detail though bc I can’t remember the specifics)
And they both like really soft blankets bc good texture and warm and comfy
And weighted blankets bc Soothing™️
If one of them ever goes into a sensory overload they just talk very slowly to the other, especially if the other went nonverbal
And they came up with a little communication system for cases like this
So they can just. Do something and then they know what to do to help
ADHD Mondo & comorbid ADHD/Autistic Taka solidarity
And they read books together:)
They both really like Frankenstein
Taka likes it bc mmm classical literature and the discussion of ethics and theoretical science. He also really enjoys the wording and how the scenes can carry on for whole chapters and not get boring to him. The exact descriptions and the definitions in the footnotes are one of the best parts to him because he’s given all the information needed to answer his questions that are supposed to be answered:)
Mondo likes it bc of the sort of mystery bits and it gives him something to think about that he can process bc he and Taka discuss it regularly:) and he really likes the concept of Frankenstein’s monster and how there was a second chance at life, even if it was poorly handled by the other characters
hsbwvwvshdhshsvsv cuddlesssssss 🥺🥺🥺🥺
godddd the trust it takes for Mondo to even CONSIDER showing u his dog plushie,,,,,, Taka’s just like. this is literally the highest honor im-
Taka also likes plushies to begin with so it just makes him go :D
and hdbdvdvdvdvdv they do oh my godddd like,,,,,they just,,,,,fit together,,,,,,so nicely??? very good position and tactile sensation for sleep,,,,,,warm n nice,,,,,,,,ghdhdvdvdvd good
also hdbsbdbd sorry I know u were being serious and that’s so cool, but I feel like they also use that as an excuse CONSTANTLY like if they happen to be cuddling or drowsy in a place where people are liable to walk in on them or smth, they’re both just like “iT’S FOR NEUROLOGICAL BENEFITS-” even tho they’re already dating and literally nobody would care ldbsnsbsjsbdbdbdb
and yes yes yes!!!!! the blanketssssss ohdhdhdhs I think taka in particular probably really likes having a weighted blanket over him because it’s so grounding and present and ??? just there’s something covering almost every inch of his body and he loves it
and they both feel the texture of the other blankets and go >:0 because!!!!!! hsvwhsbsbsbs soft!!!!!!!
oh yes absolutely!!! I’d say that Mondo maybe teaches Ishi a few phrases in jsl (either phrases or words - whichever is simpler/easier to remember in the moment. Things that basically mean “I need to talk”, “I can’t talk right now,” “please hold me” “don’t touch me” “can you talk to me?” “please sit here in silence with me,” etc.) taka’s a bit shaky with it at first, but gets the hang of it!!
They DO read books together!!!!
god ur reasons for why they both like it are such??? galaxy brain takes???? ilysm oh my god
also,,,,,,concept of them snuggling,,,,,,,reading together,,,,,im soft 🥺
hsbshsbsbs also like. impromptu book club things happen sometimes with other classmates/students bc like 👀
they can’t discuss literature in front of Byakuya because he’ll call them idiots and imply that they don’t understand the “true meaning/s” of whatever it was they read
Taka and Korekiyo probably discuss the former’s latest reads quite a bit - they exchange interpretations of the text from their own points of views, which is always fascinating for both! Taka receives quite a few lectures on anthropological and cultural findings that are relevant to the time period of the novel, or historical events that the plot references and how that affects things, etc. etc. and Korekiyo gets to engage in positive social interaction with a friend to study human behavior a bit more by learning about taka’s thought processes firsthand
whenever Toko hears ishi and mondo discussing what they’ve read, she just. sort of hovers menacingly around them until Taka notices her and invites her over. She acts like she doesn’t give a shit but actually, being able to discuss literary topics is QUITE a nice change of pace. Not to mention that both taka and mondo are pretty nice people to be around and there’s little to no risk of being made fun of <3
Leon’s not much of a reader (freaking loves comics and graphic novels, tho!) but he’s more than happy to listen to The Boys™️ while they excitedly talk and debate and bounce concepts and topics off of each other. Their enthusiasm is almost enough to make him wanna read, too!
Almost.
Kyoko’s sat in on conversations once or twice - mostly for detective/mystery stories hsbsbddb
anyways yeah soft ishimondo things???? I love them smmmm
also Taka getting to rant and rave and infodump about his philosophy interests and stuff and mondo just sitting there listening to him like 💖💗💘💝
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mint-yooxgi · 3 years
Note
"Now, if I were to do an interpretation on how I think an irl yandere!Baek would be, that would be different." Would you do a headcannon or anything for this because honest to god I love ur writing amd it would be great to see an insight on this! ❤️
Honestly, yeah, it’s been on my mind for a while actually, I just wasn’t sure if people were interested in me doing these or not, but here goes nothing! Gonna put it under a read more so it doesn’t bother anyone if this turns out to be a long post.
Anyways, here’s my interpretation of if Byun Baekhyun was a yandere irl...
I honestly don’t think he’d be that intense overall, and it would take a long, long, long, long while for things to build up to cause him to get to that point of even being considered a yandere, so I actually doubt he’d ever get to that point at all
I feel like he’s the type of guy who if he likes you, he likes you, and you’re going to know about it (along with anyone who will listen to him talk about you)
Probably would be the type of person to go “I saw this and thought of you” - also his way of showering you with small gifts
Always wants to make sure you’re happy and wants to make you laugh
He’s probably very observant - if he noticed someone else getting close to you, or if they expressed interest in you, then he’d get involved
Not the type to get overtly jealous, but he would step in if he thought things were getting out of hand
Honestly, he’d never want to scare you, so if his jealousy ever got out of control, he’d hide it from you
Skinship is huge for him, but it’s more meaningful if it’s subtleties when you’re out in public for certain big events, so like just gently brushing against one another, holding your hand, etc. - he’d only go so far as to keep a continuous arm around your waist/shoulders if you wanted him to, or if he got to that point of being jealous
That being said this boy is definitely clingy af behind closed doors - arms around your waist, back hugs, wanting you to sit on or near his lap, etc. - as much as he enjoys showing you off, sometimes intimacies like this should just be kept between the two of you
He’d do whatever he could to cheer you up if you were sad, and he’d immediately dislike anyone who brought you harm
I can see him as the type to tease you a lot, both in a playful manner, and to purposely make you flustered
Listen, he strikes me as the type to jokingly pretend to be offended if you said he wasn’t your favourite singer in EXO/in general, but because it’s you, it hurts a bit, so he does whatever he can to change your mind - this consists of practicing his vocals around you more often just to hear you praise him for how good of a job he’s doing, constant teasing of “but I will be your favourite, right?” which has some truth behind his words (at least to him since he makes it his goal)
Would probably refer to you as “my s/o” - so like, he’d be chatting with the guys and he’d go, “oh yeah, that’s my baby”
It wouldn’t be very often he’d let you notice this, but he’d get a certain look in his eyes every so often if someone was looking at you funny - narrowed eyes, tense shoulders, crossed arms, slight frown on his face, as if he’s challenging the person who’s looking at you to even dare try something
Would definitely let you borrow his clothes and vice-versa just to have something of yours close to him, plus he enjoys seeing you in his things in general, whether that be his clothes, merchandise, literally anything that relates to him 
So so so so soooooo happy when you give him attention, especially when the others are around, and will definitely flaunt it to tease them, but there’s a hint of seriousness to it
If you’re in the crowd while he’s performing he’ll purposefully lock eyes with you once or twice, especially during certain songs at certain parts with certain lyrics...
If you two started dating, he’d up his gifts, getting you jewelry and more expensive things just cause he can - he wants to spoil you at any chance he can get
I can see him as the type to enjoy biting/nibbling at your neck when you’re alone together - that’s his way of ‘claiming’ you - do the same to him and he’d probably melt
Overall though, the boy’s a grown man and will respect your decision if you turned him down, he’d be sad and want to know what he did wrong/how he could improve himself for you, but he’s not gonna do anything overtly crazy, I don’t see him as that type
Might teasingly ask you out again every now and then with a “the offer’s still there if you want it” if you ever turned him down, and he’d always be serious about it, no matter how jokingly he says it, but again, he would respect your final decision - the man just wants to see you happy, and if that’s not with him, so be it... doesn’t mean he won’t try to make you see he’s the best option for you before that happens though
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mallowstep · 3 years
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I’m thinking about writing a short OC piece about Windclan and I’d love to see your notes about its culture and the hymns you’ve written so far, everything you’ve done for Windclan appreciation month has really inspired me :)
hello anon!
alright, first things first: please send me ur piece when ur done if you're comfortable doing so! i will publish it from you, or if you don't want to be associated with it in Any Way, i will also just read it and add it to the queue with no indication why it's there. or if you don't want me to share it at all, i'd still like to read it.
as for your ask,
hymns?
i'm working on it. however, underneath the read more, i'll include a few snippets for u.
culture
alright, i'm just going to post links with some commentary as i go. feel free to ask any more questions you have.
windclan (search) | windclan (tag) | wcam tag | five clans (narrative essays)
i would link the elders den, but there's no windclan stories in there ATM.
moving on, i'm just going to go through posts in reverse chronological order.
tallstar taking a mate admittedly, this is more about cats and sexuality than windclan, but i provide the commentary that windclan...has a particular view on sexuality and fluidity. one thing i haven't explored but should is the role visiting cats have in windclan.
whoops that's a code word, my plug for solacefruit has been activated. okay, as you may be aware, based on the fact that i have a whole tag for it, i'm obsessed with solacefruit. now, i love everything they do, but i would like to point you particularly to "make a mighty sound" for a fantastic exploration of this idea.
i don't want to spoil anything, but i do think windclan, and maybe cats as a whole, but windclan has a certain view towards relationships that very much breaks them into pieces. i'm a "love is a verb" person, so the idea that you can grow to love someone romantically by going through the actions of love makes sense. not to say you will, but you can.
(to be clear i'm not out advocating for arranged marriages just saying that they can work, they're not destined to be bad, and there's a difference between forced marriage and arranged marriage.)
anyway.
this was a lot of words to say, cats do not have a human (and particularly, western/american) understanding of relationships, which makes analyzing them in those terms difficult.
early hymn talk i'll probably say more below, but it is here.
general ibtwicm notes might get you into the headspace for some of my choices in ibtwicm.
i don't have a ton to say because this pretty much all holds, but uh, yeah.
poetry and language this isn't strictly about windclan, but it does explain some of what i think about when writing hymns.
obviously, i'm writing english translations, but these general themes are what i have in mind. it's also part of why i say i don't think i'll ever release a "full hymnal" for windclan, because i don't know if my weak worldbuilding heart could take it if i only had translations.
names part two very much not about windclan, but just some thoughts on names. as i've said before, i support all names and worldbuilding equally, but if you want my thoughts on names, go buckwild.
clan culture fic rec list just stuff i think does a good job, if you want other sources of inspiration.
general clan culture notes this is really old, but it mostly holds.
i've obviously expanded a lot on windclan since i wrote it, so shrug? idk man.
alright, i'm going to move into hymn discussion below the cut, but best of luck! and i hope u have a good time. it makes my brain shut down to read that i inspired you, straight up got brain juice pouring out of my ears, but i'm really, really happy to hear that.
windclan holds a special place in my heart. (i know my oc avatar is from skyclan shhh it's because of the backstory he sees ghosts.) but i grew up in this super sporty household as a lil asthmatic klutz, and running was a sport i couldn't mess up, so of course windclan appealed to me.
they're actually third on my list of favorite clans, but they. it's a special place in my heart that they hold, especially after reading dawn of the clans and moth flight's vision, where i got an asthmatic cat and an adhd cat, both in windclan.
god i should reread dotc it's good.
alright, here's the deal on hymns: i am not going to fight to get duets to post correctly. there's a 0% chance i can in tumblr's wonky ass new editor with no markdown, not to mention how difficult it would have been in the old editor. so i'm going to talk a lil about what i've got, and post some stanzas that i think don't get explored a lot in ibtwicm.
we're discussing these in the order that they go in. a reminder that these are all sections of one epic poem. that said, i don't know where the gaps are. like, i don't know what's between these, if that makes sense.
the wind
the wind, the very first hymn. this is an ode to, well, windclan. it's a song about everything that makes them them. it's filled with poetry about the wind, about the seasons, and it's just...well, it's a bit of a genesis, in a way.
The wind — like the rain, like the river — calls the name of each star in its breath. The wind — like the earth, like the stone — anchors us to our home. The wind — like the sun, like the sky — is knowable only by name.
i wanted to share this stanza because the last line doesn't show up in ibtwicm (at least so far, i cut the reference), and it really, really, makes a difference imo.
anyway, windclan is basically tying the wind in with every other fundamental part of their life here.
they are the wind, and that's that.
the hare
okay, this one has a line that comes up a lot in ch1, but i already talked about that, so instead, i'm going to talk about this stanza
Speak of the earth and the dens, and you will be answered: By the call of the howling gales, the open earth singing in response. But speak of that which grows above, of the grass and field, And you will be answered by the softness of the buds and the roots.
okay, we get deadfoot thinking about this when he's talking to yellowfang.
i like this stanza because it really tells us what the hare is about. now, hares are not something windclan catches. hares are huge, y'all, there's no way they take one down. i take liberties with ecology, but not that many.
(i.e., a team of cats definitely could take one down, but i know too much, and would prefer letting team hunting stay a plot thing, and not fundamentally alter the environment in the way it would.)
now anyway, all of these hymns come from the time of the tunnelers. and the point of this is, even though the work of tunnelers and moor runners is disconnected, they fundamentally affect each other.
a moor runner must trust the hollows of the earth beneath them won't collapse, and a tunneler must trust that the prey they chase up will be caught.
it's all very symbiotic and is, well, in a way, a love poem. plus i really like the line "the open earth singing in response"
of the warrens
so this has one line, one you might not even know is a hymn, in ch1, but i'll share the whole stanza.
And as for the subject of fallow fields: Fallowed fields make for hungry prey, Yet hungry prey makes desperate rabbits, Who leap into our claws.
and ig my big point is, the hymns are a cultural artifact. just like many of the rules in the old testament have to do with hygiene things being codified into religion, this whole hymn is about hunting advice.
the moon on the river
okay, out of all the hymns, this is the most complete, and because ashfoot and deadfoot sing it together, and deadfoot discusses it, i only have one stanza to share.
Under the coldness, you shine back at me, And I do everything to keep the clouds from threatening you.
now, this poem is about love, grief, and being separated. it's a particular kind of grief, and windclan discourages grief, so this is one of only a few ways to really, fully express it.
and this section, in particular, is about love in times of hardship.
i don't have. a lot to say here. but the way hardship changes how you love someone can be particular and intense.
(temporarily, this happens sometime before "Spare for my chosen few / All I have is given towards the distant ground.")
the gorse in the wind
oh shit! i have so fucking much to say okay first.
the series title does not come from this hymn.
second, this is a challenging hymn okay. fuck. i have so much to say. where to start so! moors are actually relatively wet. think british countryside, not, like, a cool desert.
this is something i always knew? i read the secret garden a lot as a kid. but. i've seen stuff about moors being dry, and it's just one of those things that really...starts to eat under your skin. anyway.
okay, so. gorse is a dry plant. it does not like rain. it grows in sandy soil, etc etc, and yet. aside from everything we know about gorse and warriors, it also grows in this moor. because i say so.
okay, so. so so so. the lines quotes here are really deceptive, and i bet no one understood why, and that makes me just a little sad, but i couldn't find a good way to explain it in text, so uh, yeah, anyway. there's an exchange between ashfoot and deadfoot: "THE GORSE: You called me the heather and I grew stronger. / THE WIND: I called you the heather and brought rain for you to grow."
so...so do you see? do you see the point? it's about communication, needs, challenging each other. fadskj;l i love this. okay, so. the point is that heather is fragile, soft, pretty, and gorse is the opposite. the part of the wind is trying to be kind and complimentary, but the gorse is saying, fuck that, you are not being kind to me by undercutting my strength.
anyway, this passage is sung by the gorse:
In what good company have I set down roots, That even through snow fall I flower. You called me the heather and yet I've weathered, Far more than your sweet-named love.
so uh, yeah, this adds context. gorse! gorse is a hardy plant that continues to flower basically all season round. it's cool. it's cool. gorse is super cool. fuuuck y'all it's such a small thing and i've contained talking about it until now, but now it's too much. the floodgates are open, and i thought about this small detail too much.
okay. deep breath. gorse is a really easy plant to grow, but it's still adapted for dry environments. so the "even through snow fall I flower" part is a little tongue in cheek: gorse itself will flower in the cold, but snow is a type of precipitation, which as we've covered, is not gorse friendly.
then we have some rhyming and puns in the next line, and finally, "yet I've weathered, / Far more than your sweet-named love." like. yes. love as a form of softness is not necessarily helpful.
i mean, consider the damaging "soft trans boi" problem. same energy.
right. okay. so we've got all that? now if you remember, this is sung when deadfoot thinks ashpaw doesn't respect him, and ashpaw says she'll sing with him if she can sing the gorse, so in essence, she's telling him...not to back off, per se, but that...she is the "hard part" of the relationship. like, okay, i refuse to even bring up gender roles in human relationships, but uh, her point is very much, "i am the gorse, and you are the wind," and it's a very monumental moment.
it's anchored, i believe, in the other scenes, but this is a small thing that matters a lot to me.
like a lot.
okay, now that i've talked about like four lines for the length of this entire post, moving on.
the heather and earth
okay, this is the last hymn i have in concrete terms, and i cut a bit of it from the latest chapter, so yeah. it's also, uh, okay everything i have for it is only a line or two, but i wanted to share this closing line (sung together):
Sing a song of forgiveness, of growing together, and we will make madness, And madness from hence will everything beautiful grow.
and i just like these lines. they got cut, it was initially part of an exchange between ashfoot and deadfoot, but i can't share the part of it they talk about, because i'm reusing it for a later chapter and i'll 100% spoil shit if i try to talk about it.
but these lines? mmm they speak to me.
i don't have a ton to say about them, but i just. i like it.
if we apply the same ecology discussion from the gorse and the wind, we see heather is a plant that grows in acidic, infertile soil, and heath (which is not the same as a heather, but also kind of is) is a defining quality of heathland, which is...i'm not kidding, it's hot discourse about the difference between moorland and heathland.
i'm not getting involved, but my point is, if the gorse in the wind is a hymn about finding a working relationship, about mutual respect, etc., then the heather and earth is a hymn about working well together in a terrible situation.
god.
uh, wow! can you tell i like plants? because while parts of my ecology are dubious (see: everything regarding the rabbits in ch1), the plants part are well thought out. this shit is carefully detailed metaphor.
and that's why i won't be releasing a full hymnal. it's hard to as on top of this as i want to be. i'm not kidding, writing even four lines of a hymn usually takes me about twenty minutes, because i pull up a lot of research about how things work, how they interact with each other, etc., and then there's wordsmithing, cat worldview filter, etc.
but i hope this overview of what i've got is a good insight into my general thoughts. and i will eventually release more and more of the hymns i've got written.
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zanecosh · 4 years
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’ ・゚ : 👽  : ・.  INTRODUCTION — Zane Wancosh  .・: 👽 :・゚ ’
⌠ CHANCE PERDOMO, TWENTY-ONE, CISMALE, HE/HIM ⌡ welcome back to gallagher academy, ZANE WANCOSH! according to their records, they’re a FIRST year, specializing in MEDICAL TRAINING; and they DID NOT go to a spy prep high school. when i see them walking around in the halls, i usually see a flash of (sunglasses in every imaginable color, serenading ‘ my heart will go on ‘ loudly at 4 am, finger guns to the pals and the gals). when it’s the (aries)’s birthday on 04/18/1999, they always request their FRENCH FRIES WITH GRAVY from the school’s chefs. looks like they’re well on their way to graduation.
tw; drugs, jail/prison ??, alcohol
PAST but not rlly since i always had to mention what it did to him
- Zane was raised in Ottawa, Canada .. something he is very proud of and will mention a billion times as soon as he gets to know someone -- he will also deliberately say ‘ eh ? ‘ to let people know b ut we all know he ain’t sleek !!
- His parents had always been a loving bunch so he grew up receiving so much affection and attention that he now is a little FULL of himself but only because he seeks love and won’t stop until someone provides it for him im srry i didn’t make the law
.- So given his upbringing he’s always been the completely affectionate type, having his hands everywhere all the time and achING for hugs and small things like hand holding or just a pat  on the shoulder like he is seriously convinced that if he doesn’t get at least four hugs a day he will die a painful, lonely death
- So in addition to that, he had always been a very active, youthful and energetic kid which was pretty much something he got from his dad since he sort of kept things playful and always did the best that he could while his mom was on the stricter side but instead knew how to teach him things that were important !!
- So growing up he always made friends very easily because of how open he was ( except that time when he brought this girl home at the age of 7 because he thought she’d make a cool pet ) and because he was always vERY friendly, even if he had a tendency to be too nice at times and just got upset when people didn’t like him ?? which is honestly still the case
- Of course he loved being popular which is kind of his aspiration in most things nowadays?? he seeks to be liked so much it’s sometimes a lil sad but he will legitamately try anything to make you his friend and he wont care if ur bothered because at least then he’ll get a reaction out of you !! but yeah it’s something he never really learned bc he’s used to getting validated from his parents so he genuinely doesn’t COMPREHEND meanness ://
- It was when he was around ten ( 10 )  years old when his dad randomly moved to New York ?? which was honestly super scary to him but his mother assured him that it was for a special job which was definitely weird for him because that was the only thing she ever said when he asked her about his father and ofc zane wasn’t dumb just a little idiotic !!
- They still visited his father often where Zane was able to get to know America and New York a little better, which he definitely enjoyed even though he sort of preferred Canada always because he likes snow a lot and the fact that it kind of melts when you pee on it but anyway he was getting a bit more suspicious as he grew older
- Then on his sixteenth birthday he was able to visit his dad once more to which he then was revealed that his dad was the ring leader of a spy business !! WOW to which Zane was baffled of course bc his dad ??? who tripped over his 7th birthday cake because Zane saw a squirrel and started to chase it ?? exactly !!
- So of course, Zane wanted to start working there !! Not only because of curiosity but school was kind of boring ( ngl ) and he missed his dad a lot so while his mother was not happy about his choice at all she always believed in people doing whatever they wanted so without much time passing the male moved to New York and started working for his father !!
- it was quickly noticiable that Zane wasn’t great at spy work, considering he was incredibly clumsy and was always distracted by everything and almost shot off his left toe ONCE okay it was only onCE !! Anyway his father got a little frustrated with his chaotic energy so he gave him the jobs were he was usually with someone else so they could babysit him which was honestly better for him too bc he could make friends !!
-  So when he was around 19 that’s when he got to know his boy Landon, his main squeeze, one could even say the love of his life ( only he would say that ) but they immediately vibed with Landon being his driver even though they lowkey ended up doing stuff that completely wasn’t what his dad wanted but Zane was honestly just loving life and just doing a bit of shady stuff with his buddies was bonding ??
- HOWEVER NOT ALL THINGS CAN BE SUNSHINE AND CAKE; so they often kind of got into trouble ?? they were good at hiding and sort of running from the cops a couple of times but honestly not that much of a big deal as Zane would say but once upon a time, these assholes rlly got caught ahead of their time to which Landon then got away in time with someone from Gallagher helping while Zane honestly didn’t know what was happening n got caught ??
- To which he then ended up in jail for a year !! love carrying contraband while being high as fuck !! anyway, it was a very self reflecting time . even though he sort of learned nothing ?? anyway not even his dad could bail him out, only shorten the time if he in return joined Gallagher, a school where he would learn how to behave and use his spy knowledge to some good instead of just causing trouble !!
- Which he honestly didn’t vibe with so much because he was kind of scared of these spy kids ?? legit all of them could kill them w a look he wasn’t sure was his dad was thinking but that’s also why he chose medicial training, in order to not get hurt and if he did, he would be able to take care of himself which honestly wasn’t that much of a help when he was about to bonk this girl but ended up hitting his dick against the ground as they rolled around ?? he doesn’t wanna talk about it
- Anyway, he sort of grew into Gallagher for the most part, since he is a very adaptable person in general and was looking forward to making friends with people who were way cooler than him which was honestly a plus !! he just vibing y’all there ain’t no problem at all at all
PERSONALITY & LITTLE QUIRKS
- He’s super chaotic and all over the place, loves talking about anything and everything and sort of philophises over the most mundane things because its fun to talk about life y’all
- He has a super colorful taste in clothing and decoration and is pretty extraordinary in most things in life, whether its sunglasses or flowers on his backpack and shirts and stuff that’s way too big
- Is a slow talker and also doesn’t understand people who talk fast
- Has a habit of interrupting people mid-conversation and doesn’t realize that it could appear rude
- Loves everyone, is also super affectionate and always has an arm around his friends or will at least ask for conSENT bc that matters to him but he will most likely touch u some type of way im sorry
- Probably because he is super fidgety too, he legit has his hands everywhere all the time because he doesn’t like to stay still
- Somewhat of a class clown and certainly does not enjoy studying or any school related work so he’s kind probably always on the verge of failing ?? idk how he does it you guys
- will fist bump you but will also grab your ass
- Just wants to chill most of the time but somehow still always stressed
- Is a party ANIMAL like if there is a party, he’s there and probably drunk and high before the party even starts ?? in general i don’t think he’s been sober a day since he turned 18 who the fuck knows
- Will probably trip and fall everywhere as a drunk but he just laughs about it the second day, like he says if he doesn’t get hurt it won’t be a good party and i honestly worry about him and i’m not sure how he’s still alive
- does the peace sign way too often
- could be considered a sunny boy but since he’s from cold ass Canada he loves snow way much more and the cold for some reason
- has the biggest potty mouth like he doesn’t even realize he’s swearing
- is extremely honest like he will just stand there listening to someone complain and be like well that’s a bitch
-  also huge flirt and also catches feelings fast and will mostly say it outright when he falls for someone like boy has seriously no shame ?? he will feel the heartbreak but he believes he can deal with it better than questioning it all the time and if they feel the same he will just loVE
- he also might be polyamerous he doesn’t know it yet bc he’s never had that many chances but he just likes to love whatever
- his head is everywhere and nowhere at the same time so it’s possible that he doesn’t make sense 80% of the time
- has tattoos that don’t make sense at all, i like to refer pewdiepie or uhhhh what’s his name uhhhh kURTIS CONNER ?? im too lazy to fact check i been writing this for an hour let me be
- knows how to juggle and thinks that’s that probably the coolest skill he’s ever learned
- has two earthworms that he got during a biology project back in high school who have been in his possession for six years now ?? ( i checked they live for four to eight ) he loves them to death ok their names are Niall and Liam ....... ( yes he was an 1D stan don’t confront him about them he’ll cry )
- is very superficial, loves the horoscope and believes in like bad luck and stuff like that, will scold u if u don’t listen to him rant about unlucky things !!
/ @gallagherintro
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bubblegvms · 4 years
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      ♡ . *   [   madelyn cline, cis female, she/her   ] ⁠— * oh, here comes DELILAH ABBOTT  !  the twenty-two year old libra is often referred to as the luminary. people say they have a tendency to be sententious and opinionated, but from what i’ve seen, they can be vivacious and devoted too. when they walk by, you’ll probably hear give you my lovin by mazzy star playing out of their headphones, but they’re also associated with chewing bubblegum after lunch, signing love letters with a kiss, & collecting music boxes. i hear they’re a waitress and studying women’s studies & want to become a social worker when they’re older, but who knows what will become of ‘em  !
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        hey, everyone  !!  my name is diana, i am twenty years old, use she/her pronouns and reside in the est timezone  !!  some fun facts ( not really ) abt me: i’m a libra sun with a virgo moon and aquarius rising, i have 3 cats, i love film and jane austen :) i am suuuuper excited to be part of this group, ily all already and all ur muses are amazing <3 hehe i’ll be coming to u all for plots now asap :’) but anyway, without further ado, u can read abt my muse delilah under the cut  !!!
♡ . *    𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔    !
full name : delilah lane abbott
nickname(s) : lila ( she goes by this ), dee ( by family and close friends )
age : twenty-two
zodiac : libra sun, taurus moon, pisces rising ( click )
sexuality : bisexual
alignment : neutral good
pinterest : click
♡ . *    𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅    !    ( alcoholism & substance abuse tw )
delilah was born on a crisp autumn night, october 15th, 1970, to be exact. she was born in a tiny apartment in the middle of a college party. delilah’s birth mom was extremely young ( high school age ) when she got pregnant, and wasn’t sure who the father was. she came from a wealthy family, but ran away when she realized she was pregnant
her  birth  mother  also  struggled  with  alcoholism  and  substance  abuse.  those  close  to  her  did  their  best  to  make  sure  she  wasn’t  using  any  of  these  substances  during  her  pregnancy,  but  she  snuck  a  few  drinks  and  pills  here  and  there  whenever  she  got  the  chance
after giving birth to delilah, things only got worse. she continued drinking and using drugs more than ever before, often times neglecting her baby. she attempted to raise her baby with her boyfriend, who was much older than her, but he ultimately was no help and only there for a good time. delilah lived with her birth mom the first three ( almost four ) years of her life
finally, her birth mom’s parents tracked her down and discovered she had a child. once they saw the conditions she was living in, they told her she needed to put delilah up for adoption before the state took her away. so that is exactly what she did, and has been in and out of rehab ever since
delilah was adopted around a year later. at this point, she was nearly 5. she was extremely happy and felt so grateful to be adopted. while in the foster care system, she had met a lot of older kids who had been there for years
delilah’s family was so loving and welcoming, she truly could not have asked for more. 3 years later, they adopted jude and delilah became a big sister  !!!  she is extremely protective over her sister, she would literally do anything for her :’) and their parents clearly loved kids, since their basement also became the hangout spot for everyone
( donna and i are still plotting out the details about their family, but it’s only them and their mom now o: )
lila had to grow up pretty fast, so she always much more responsible and mature for her age. still, despite everything, she always maintained an optimistic outlook on life. she loves life and the people in hers so much, she just has so much love to spread  !!!!
delilah developed a passion for feminism at a young age, thanks to her mother. she would literally print out feminist readings and pass them out at lunch in high school. she’d also give speeches about feminism at school. some people disliked her for it, saying she was too opinionated and stuff, but it never stopped her. she also pretty much always knew she wanted to be a social worker
♡ . *    𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚    !
delilah always sees the best in people. although she acknowledges that everyone has flaws, she’s the type of person who doesn’t like to give up on anyone. she will support you even through your darkest times, and try to help you see the light
she is so protective of her friends and family, like will truly do anything to see them safe and happy. she just wants to remind everyone that they are loved and supported
she LOVES people soooooo much  !!!  she is extremely extroverted, literally a social butterfly who tries to befriend literally everyone ajskdhkdh
delilah dislikes conflict, so she is often playing peacemaker, whether in her home life or with her friend group. she wants everyone to get along, but be able to talk to their differences to come to some sort of common ground. however, sometimes this means shes sticking her nose in other people’s business
she is obsessed with love  !!!!  like this girl literally falls in love 5 times a day with a stranger on the bus, the coolest celebrity on tv, the girl that sits next to he in class, etc. i think she is definitely a relationship person, because she’s a nurturer and wants to be there for people. however, i think sometimes she gets caught up in the fairy tale of it all. like she wants to be in love so bad, sometimes she rushes into things or idealizes the situation in her head, so things might not exactly work out
delilah isn’t very open with her emotions. she mostly keeps them to herself, because she doesn’t want anyone to have to worry about her or anything. she tries to deal with everything herself mostly
she sees the beauty in everything, which is like partially because she’s a huge optimist. she also cannot resist pretty things. she once bought a pink guitar from a thrift store because she thought it was pretty, even though she has no idea how to play. however, she wants to learn, especially because she loves to sing ( this bitch is literally always humming )
is almost always the designated driver. she doesn’t really drink or smoke too often, and when she does, it’s during social situations. but she wants her friends to have all the fun they want and know they have someone they can count on to get them home safely. but btw she is an extreme lightweight LMFAO
some other little headcanons / tidbits about her
♡ . *    𝒘𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒅  𝒄𝒐𝒏𝒏𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏𝒔    !
adventure buddy - someone who goes on little adventures with her and is always down to experience and try new things  !!!
ride or die / best friend - the person she is closest to ( aside from jude ). literally her platonic soulmate, the person who understands her the most, the person she understands the most
unlikely friends - they’re so different, you’d never expect them to be good friends. but for some reason, it just works. they click  !!  maybe they’re always introducing each other to new things, like showing each other their interests and stuff
ex-fling / gf / bf - maybe they ended on weird terms, maybe they ended on good terms, maybe they still have lingering feelings or sexual tension, etc. we can plot however  !!
unrequited crush - maybe delilah has a crush on ur muse. she is constantly falling for people so it wouldn’t be unlikely  !!  OR ur muse could have a crush on her and she’s oblivious to it
requited crush - they both like each other, but maybe they’re both too scared to make a move, or maybe they’re ready to like try going out, we can plot however  !!
friends w benefits - someone she is currently seeing / sleeping with. could be no strings attached, or there could b some feelings there. maybe they don’t want to make it anything serious, or maybe they’re ready to take it to the next level. maybe one person is ready to go further, and the other isn’t
enemies w benefits - ok not actually enemies, since they’re all friends and delilah doesnt rly hate anyone ( only racist, sexist, homophobic, etc kinds of ppl ). but maybe they don’t exactly see eye to eye, so imagine the tension  !!!  they started out not getting along that well, but ended up hooking up. maybe it was a one time thing, or maybe they can’t stop going back to each other. maybe they’re keeping it a secret from everyone else
will they, won’t they -  there’s feelings between them, but they haven’t made the plunge to pursue whatever they have. longing, yearning, lingering glances PLS  !!!  they have chemistry, but maybe the timing has always been off  ??
flirtationship - they flirt constantly, but nothing serious has come out of it and maybe never will. maybe they have good chemistry, but have never tried to explore it further, or don’t want to ruin their friendship. or maybe they flirt and think it’s a joke, but really it’s like a haha jk....unless  ?  type situation AKSJJKSD
ex-close friends - someone she used to consider a best friend, but they had a falling out for whatever reason. maybe they want to re-kindle their friendship but don’t know how, or they’re just accepting of the distance between them
take care / taken care of - ok so delilah doesnt drink or smoke a lot, but when she does, she is an extreme lightweight. maybe ur muse looks after her when she’s under the influence  ?  also  !!!  someone she looks after a lot. like she tries to take care of all her friends, but maybe she especially wants to take care of ur muse and has a soft spot for them  !!!
confidant - someone who confides in her or someone she confides in, or they confide in each other  !!!  they trust each other, and maybe they talk more in private. delilah isn’t very open about stuff, but she confides in ur muse maybe
bad influence - delilah hasn’t done a lot of bad or crazy things in her life, so i’d luvvvvv for a bad influence plot  !!  someone who gets her to do things she never would do otherwise. someone who can show her a fun time  !!
good influence - someone she can be a good influence on, someone she brings out the best in, maybe someone she rly cares about and wants to look after to make sure they’re ok  !!
diner days - she’s a waitress, maybe ur muse always shows up during her shifts to keep her company and get free milkshakes  !!  someone who helps her pass the time while she’s working
these are all the plot ideas i can think of for now, but i’ll be making a plots page later on and add more stuff  !
finally, that is all !! i’m so sorry about how long this is, i ramble so much sometimes !!! but anyway, if u like this post i’ll hit u up on discord ( if u don’t i’ll still message u <3 ). if u prefer tumblr im’s for plotting tho, just let me know <3 i’m sooo excited to rp with u all aaahhh i can’t wait  !!!!
my discord:  blackpink is coming <333333#5522
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mastcrplanncr-a · 4 years
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issue #23 made me really heccin’ emo over eggman and sonic. i was prepared for it, but also ?? not prepared??? holy frick im just gonna ramble under the cut.
first of all, i’m just gonna’ idly ramble about some things i noticed.
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Eggman, literally 11 issues ago:
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he makes these off remarks and then changes his mind whenever it’s convenient for him smh. that or hes a freaking liar and. WELL THAT’S PRETTY TRUE HONESTLY.
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i’ma be honest fam starline is a freaking mood rn. it’s ?? so dumb?? LIKE EGGMAN WHERE IS YOUR FUCKING FAILSAFE UR SOLUTION WAS “not touching the robots hurr durr” PL EASE.
In retrospect, though, this is an interesting parallel to Forces because he’d apparently learned from his mistakes. TBF, and it has been brought up elsewhere on tumblr, this is a man recovering from amnesia. He must’ve just not gotten to that part. OR HE’S JUST. DUMB AND ARROGANT. Like, yeah, sure, there’s no vaccine - lol the heroes can’t fix anything & it also means you’re valuable because you’re the one person who can. BUT COME ON EGGMAN.
my friend actually predicted this holy shit. i was rambling abt a discussion we had in the egg cult, where we were talking about the possibility of sonic infecting eggman to blackmail him into getting the cure because he’s reached the point?? hes so done with eggman’s shit??? all his friends are in danger and hes backed into a wall what else is he to do than do the one thing he doesn’t want to: use eggman’s tactics against him?
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and my friend was like:
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LIKE. IT IS A HUGE RISK, and Sonic went FOR IT. I’M SCREAMING TBH.
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THIS CONFRONTATION WAS SO FUCKING RAW YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND. I thought I was ready for it but I really, REALLY wasn’t. I love the little details of Starline bein’ like: “oh fuck” - usually he’s pretty cocky around Sonic but uh. HE’S INFECTED NOW. And the zero remark - idk if that’s intentional on the writer’s part but ZERO TO HERO anyone?
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anyway toxi broke down crying at this point. you have no idea how much i was sobbing over my blue son just. pouring out his heart to his nemesis. that’s top tier tearjerking material.  also starline passive aggressively readjusting his outfit lmfao. BITCH IM FABULOUS. but man the usage of ‘ BE’ and ‘LIKE’ - Sonic knows who Eggman is; he’d never ask him to be something he’s not. but it’s also a reiteration of sonic’s want to see good in him; being LIKE tinker is a statement in that he wanted eggman to be who he was, but NOT to go back. to do good for the world. have it be his own decision, because deep deep down:
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isn’t that what he really wants?
Also, although there are those sickly sweet descriptions, the usage of ellipses in this narrative really fucks me up because you can practially hear the gradual realization in eggman’s voice. his mockery starts out so !!! but it just eventually gets straight to the point, as a list. as a routine. because he was used to it. and because, some part of him misses it. notice the usage of ‘need’ and ‘use’. they needed him, and yet he used the people that appreciated him sm like puppets.
some nice guilt there, huh, doc?
ALSO I SPENT LIKE, HOURS TRYING TO FIND THIS EXACT DIALOGUE, but Eggman has a conversation in Dark Brotherhood with Sonic and makes this remark:
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LIKE??? this isn’t new to his character, actually? Ignoring the ken penders thing bc smh. Going by this game he’s actually kind of okay with that set up. And he just works so well with the others too??? this isn’t even taking into account the other games he’s teamed up with them. I’m sorry but my head just goes back to this line so many times; it’s one of the ones that stick with me, along with ‘complicated guy’ from lost world. HE COULD!! legitimately do good. and he actually doesn’t find it too bad??? IM EMO MAN...
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and IMAGINE making super cool things that people genuinely like... eggman has a HUGE ego, that much is very apparent; he’s super big on appreciation as comes with. and with tinker? he had that - he felt appreciated and loved. people LIKED what he made, and he didn’t have to bend over backwards to have that. his work felt included and he didn’t have to take that appreciation by force like he did with his lackeys (which half the time was fake anyway) .
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first and foremost - WE SEE THAT OPEN YOUR HEART REFERENCE, IDW. also sonic’s frustration here, in comparison to the lil smile the panel before - he’s just!! “WHY CANT YOU WAKE THE FRICK UP OLD MAN”. the justification here seems a tad bit like DENIAL to me. and the justification seems... kind of odd from him? since when does EGGMAN justify anything he does? He does what he wants and when he wants, because he’s the E.G.G.M.A.N. he doesn’t care what anyone thinks... right?
it’s because - especially with the usage of better - he didn’t like where that train of thought was going. for once, he’s justifying himself - because the alternative is admitting sonic is right. that he did like that life. that he’d want to go back. throw it in a hierachy and it’s all so simple, right?
also the inclusion of open your heart lyrics here. the incident with chaos was just as catastrophic. and these lyrics in context of the previous panel, highlights how sonic and eggman both seek unity and peace but in their own ways; eggman’s is just evil. it seems a little bit of a diversion to me - to antagonise sonic and make him forget about it. what better way to do that than to relate to him? ‘own styles that we won’t change’ highlights a stubbornness in ways, too, especially with the current context of eggman denying his old life. ALSO IT IS LITERALLY TELLING EGGMAN TO OPEN HIS HEART.
and ngl this seems like idle banter to hide the fact he genuinely felt remorse for his actions for a second. because lbr he has a habit of being all talk when a plan goes wrong or suffering inside,
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which starline does quite pointedly explain.
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As I was saying above, Sonic has no choice in what to do now - he’s reaching his limit. OR ELSE. hes pondering doing the thing he doesnt want to do. and honestly, ‘you can’t stop me. no one can,’ is so hardhitting not just because of its looming threat, but because of how much it solidifies for sonic that he can’t take the chance anymore. if anyone is going to change eggman, it has to be himself.
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also can i just cry over how much sonic trusts tails. im getting sa2 flashbacks.
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also man i’d like to point out the specific use of ‘lock you away forever’. it coooould be a reference to sonic’s time imprisoned during the events of sonic forces. bitterness?
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NOT SAYING I CALLED IT, BUT I CALLED IT. it still hurts though. and wow, it really is horrifying when eggman fears his own heccin’ creation, huh?
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i live for sonic being passive aggressive with eggman. give me more please.
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im immensely concerned the direction starline is going, honestly. but it does say a lot about eggman; how he’ll keep trying the same things expecting different results, but failing and never seeing that. because he’s EGGMAN; every plan is brilliant by default!
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i love how sonic just !!! SHOT... THE MOMENT HE WAS REMINDED WHAT WAS AT STAKE. son i love you so much you’re doing great sweetie
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also, man, can we talk about eggman avoiding his blatant faults, and shoving his failures onto someone else? because this little scene here - eggman ur literally the one who crashed the thing. it had absolutely nothing to do with sonic. i feel as though this is symbolism of his self-destructive nature, honestly. hes always gotta make things harder for himself. (also starline’s face is killing me)
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Eggman does what he has to, but technology won’t work every time you kick it. he thinks he can get everything through force but we have several instances in idw where force did NOT work out; you’re not gonna get far, egghead.
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MHM, and just who does that sound like, Eggman? honestly the mirrors between these two are seriously destroying me. although sonic is in a horrible position, so is eggman; he likes to think he’s won the war, but hes surpassed his own expectations, and that’s going to backfire on him eventually. hes stubborn to admit he has NO REIGN over this and they’re all doomed, so he’s pinning his failures / loss on Sonic.
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is that the amnesia kicking ya in the shin, eggman? or sonic’s reality check? either way, the doc hates emotions. dammit man why you gotta make him emo
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future eggman is going to kick past eggman in the kneecaps. it’s times like this ur reminded how much of a kid he is. eugh but that’s work i want my victory and senseless destruction now. honestly if the doc is after success, he is certainly not getting it this way and I AM FEARING FOR EVERYONE’S LIVES. he’ll probably have to work with what’s left of the resistance like the back end of most games at some point.
I’m getting a little burnt out but i can’t forget my son and how much he hurts me.
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first of all that third panel terrifies me. the fact it GOT that far does me great concern. the RED EYES? that’s pushing it fam i dont like that. the expressions are also just freaking destroying me; they’ve been PERFECT this issue. and the fact sonic is at his weakest when he feels like he’s failed everyone hurts me deeply. he has SO much on his shoulders and its getting too overwhelming for him.
also man... the whole thing with eggman... just stuff me man. but it hurts all the more because it’s so glaringly clear that there is?? some good in eggman??? he just. doesn’t want to admit it. and unfortunately these aren’t good circumstances to debate on that.
ANYWAY, THAT ISSUE WAS AGONY AND IM STILL REELING AND HAVENT EVEN. TALKED ALL THAT MUCH ABOUT SONIC HERE (on account of this being eggman’s blog) but idk if i’ll write anything on that.
gonna go cry about an egg now brb
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you said random number so.. gimme 5, 17, 24, 26, 38, and 43
#epic thank you!!!! sorry this is so long, gang, but you know me. press J if you have that keyboard shortcut option
5)favorite fics?
soph nothingunrealistic’s!! click the link & peruse any of the dozen gifts to this world on ao3. also just go right to her writing tag
17)a fandom you wish more people were in/you had more people to talk to about?
well i don’t Really have an answer for this one, but just yesterday it was once again time to talk abt how jaclyn moriarty’s 4-book ashbury/brookfield YA series is a lot of fun and unusual in good ways, but like, i guess what with being published throughout the aughts and like, not being super obscure but also not being explosively popular, and idk maybe they were also more Known in australia than the US, and, idk, but there’s not exactly what you’d call a Fandom online, or even very many traces of one. and i just like to mention the series as Fun To Read because they are very lively and focus on girls and have a real variety of Girl Characters (and also some boy characters who are also varied and fun but that’s just a bonus) and in particular i like to talk about how the third book has a really Unusual Choice Of Protagonist (the unfun unpopular Best Grades by-the-book overachiever etc etc etc nerd girl, kinda having the personality that ppl misinterpret alana beck’s personality to be lol, like something of a killjoy goody-two-shoes lol, but also with that earnestness and drivenness that alana has as well)......and the format of each book is Epistolary, but in different and creative ways each time, and it’s fun how like, the characters who are telling the story (the ones whose letters are used and etc) rotate with each book [tho emily and lydia are Storytellers in the 2nd And 4th books] and it’s very neat how like, you do get that sense that just b/c someone’s not being Focused On as much from different people’s perspectives doesn’t mean they aren’t still existing and present and doing stuff and having their own story, even when that’s not being mentioned by whoever’s writing down the events that we’re reading. we love that sentiment. anyways i just like to always Promote them.
24)who are you at the end of this decade?
hmmm!! i mean in many ways i am who i have been the whole time but yknow, 2009 - 2019 was a tumultuous period. i was always furiously trying to think through Who Am I As A Person for various reasons, even though like, when you’re in ur mid-teens that’s always In Progress rather than there being a really set answer to be discovered, and for a while it was a lot of frustration with myself all “why are you like [this], why can’t you do [that] right,” etc etc. but eventually i had like, a better frame of reference for a lot of what was going on, and even why i never quite felt like i had a great sense of Who I Am and What I Like and etc in the first place, and more understanding and respect for myself lol. even now it’s like, yknow i’m ~self-consious~ in ways often lol and i’ll sometimes Use that to be like, okay try to improve [this thing] about yourself!! and yknow on the one hand i feel like stuff i’ve been Working On for years Has paid off in ways, but then recently it’s like......okay hang on but like, it’s not a bad thing to like, have some traits that maybe aren’t gonna be seen as “perfect” or might be annoying or yknow, your Demeanor and Vibe isn’t always like, the most important thing to focus on lol or something where like, oh being sweet & saintly & coming across as utterly pleasant to everyone always gets to be The Objective Ideal. like, i’m opinionated and can be argumentative and sometimes impatient?? like, there’s a balance here between “good to be trying to Improve Yourself always or whatever lol” and “but also everyone is People with Traits and Different Personalities and everyone doesn’t have to just sand themselves down into an edgeless smooth sphere” and like, sure it’s like “haha i’m a bit more temperamental than i’d like still” but also i sure sympathize w/ the fact that like, oof, depression makes it tricky sometimes! and i do pretty okay at like, being Aware of when my mood is cursed and trying to be as chill about it as poss! or like, “haha wish i was better at conversation lmao” but yknow also understanding that like.....i’m just kinda Not great at it and that’s what’s Natural for me and like, again, a balance between “trying to be easier to talk to, lol” and “being okay with the fact that i’m not super easy to talk to and most ppl aren’t very easy for me to talk to either, lol”
im trying to be a bit less cagey lol which i guess might not be the first word someone might use to describe me for a variety of reasons, But......and but then also, i just like, for me there is no simple Be Yourself, Just Talk Naturally As U Would conversation mode lol, but you know. it’s hardly a pressing issue, and at the same time, like, sometimes when i find it hard to talk to people it’s like “well this is just you needing to Be Nicer” or whatever, or like, well you’re just not used talking to Anyone so like, push through it, and then it takes me a while to realize like, well no you just don’t love talking to them, lmao......and at the same time i’m Really slow to realize when people *do* actually enjoy talking to me, lmao, i am just not used to it And used to people like, not really being super interested in interacting with me even if they think i’m alright lol. lord! so i’m still slightly surprised whenever Anyone likes me, but also like, then again there’s sort of always these repeated scenarios where it’s like [Glum Trombone Noise] i’m also the recipient of various ppl’s various contempt for various reasons........which like, i sure don’t Absorb that as like “way 2 go, you deserve that” but also like, sure also never is the most fun experience of your life. but i have a way more solid sense of the fact that like, i don’t inherently deserve that, and an understanding of Why people will be Like That sometimes, and that’s all been acquired knowledge from the whole journey of this decade lol
also like, i have always been and continue to be like, Basically A Cat lol.....cats-sonas for everyone, ___ the ___ cat, But Seriously Folks........like, oh, there’s a lot of ppl and/or noise around?? unless i have chosen to put myself in that situation for fun, i’m probably gonna be finding whatever quiet / distant corner to hide out in and try to remain as undetected as possible.......kinda wary about interacting with people sometimes, though then also, i like to be friendly w/ strangers (if they’re friendly with me) and won’t necessarily mind spontaneous interactions but only if it’s Plausibly Expected in the situation, and even then, i might just prefer that Nobody Talk To Me......and i’ve yet to be Really comfortable in a group of ppl if i’m there *with* that group lmao, like, i don’t like to take the lead or compete for attention or anything and just kinda will try to do my own thing on the outskirts, whereas if i’m by myself it’s just like, i feel a lot more comfortable and like i can just do whatever lmao..........and also i don’t like to make noise lol. unless again, it’s deliberate, and it’s Fun. like at a concert? i will be the death of whatever nerd like, wants it to be like a solemn “listening to a record” occasion or wants everyone to yell out complete sentences if a performer asks an Arena full of people How Are You Doing 2nite or whatever. i’m gonna yell!!! anyways. idk. i am always like “oh i am Very Much [this way], except for all the times i am totally [the would-be Opposite way]”........i can’t really opt out of having Anxious Qualities and that’s alright, even though it does get in the way of things sometimes for sure. like, c’est la vie!!! i understand why i am like this, and that like, while for my own sake i can try to hold my own hand here and encourage myself to be a little bolder, it’s totally fine that like, i have Problems and Difficulties. 
i’m also at like, maybe the lowest levels of Impending Dread that i’ve had since i was like, 8 or some shit lmao............like again kind of a Wild Decade and one where like, it was totally all like “wow am i even gonna make it to [a few yrs in the future] -> [a year in the future] -> [half a year from now]” aaand it hasn’t been a full year yet since i was last thinking like “lmfao oof i might not be alive by __, who knows!!” but even while that was going on it was at least an improvement from the times i thought i might like, hmm hope i don’t off myself. and like, this is probably the first Start Of A Year in like. well possibly the past decade lmao, where yknow, it hasn’t felt quite as dire. i mean im not really out here a cockeyed optimist about anything, and like, i’m aware that things are always a little tenuous and there’s other factors i’m always nervous about, but That’s nothing new, and i’m kinda more like, neutral about the future rn lol? feeling less Dread and Doom is new-ish lmao and like, allowing that yknow, despite how crappy the past decade has been re: how i felt in my Outlook, there’s been a bunch of surprising Good Things to come along, and i totally allow for the fact that that could easily continue to happen. having Less(ened) Bad Feelings about Things might not = Absolutely Thriving but i appreciate it!! i also try to be appreciative lmao. like, what with the dread and doom & (hope i don’t die this year, i guess,) feelings, it’s wildly hard nowadays for me to like, anticipate stuff in a ~fun~ way or at all, but yknow when anything nice, even a really small / unspectacular / ordinary moment and/or detail, is being experienced by me, i try to enjoy that. i like to be Appreciative. and i think i’m also sort of like, sharing more of myself than i’ve probably gotten to or felt capable of doing in the past, and i appreciate that a lot too. like, it can be really Depressing for sure to think of like, hmm i haven’t had the chance to like, feel in control of things and like things are Totally Fine and i feel Totally Okay & like i’m enjoying everything, and i can choose to pursue [things i might enjoy], and maybe i Won’t have that chance? [another glum trombone noise] but like. i appreciate the good experiences that i Do and Have gotten so far. and the fact i’ve ever been in situations to connect with people and enjoy things the ways that i can and like, it’s really nice that My Presence in other ppl’s lives, even as just like Some Online Rando re: some ppl lmao, has had some positive effect for them or even just been enjoyed is like, wow, this is pretty great lol.........not sure where i was taking this tangent but like, i am someone who appreciates this a lot.
hmm i am also a passionate person at the end of this decade lmao!!!! that has definitely always been true. i am Of That Temperament. it is funny b/c like, the fact that i am A Motormouth Actually But Often Not Saying Anything In The Least To People, they think i’m like, of this very mild disposition and Not someone with strong opinions that they will launch into, or else i would have been doing that already........but you know!!! here i am online, fully able to just dive into things and start talking about whatever for one million years. and i sure latch onto stuff in a Big Way sometimes, which is why anyone follows me at all lol, b/c if you like [whatever particular content] and i am just all about that too, it’s a beneficial situation for us both i guess lmao. i can get really excited and focused about stuff, obviously, and i sure Also Obviously like to explore the emotional aspects of things. which is a vague thing to say lmfao but you all know what i mean!!! it continues to be the only reason i draw lmaooo like i draw so much and like, Making Fanart And Sharing It Online has i think also been a journey of this decade for me, and i really only draw a) exactly that fanart that i feel like making, and b) what i feel like making is always also probably abt Feelings somehow, like the Three Emotions: kissing (aka gay), crying (sad), and angry (angry)........great news if you want to see the stuff i already happen to be drawing lol!!! bad news i guess if you were hoping i’d draw anything but whatever i end up wanting to draw. i cannot be diverted. and i don’t even draw for its own sake lol like, i’ve always doodled for fun and all that, but like, ive never been a “wow i want to make my own __ someday” or whatever, and if i’m trying to draw something which is anything other than [the exact thing i might feel like drawing] it is Such a chore that like, i just don’t do it except for like, total Exceptions. except exceptions lol. don’t ask!! anyways why did i get on that drawing tangent there........yeah it’s definitely lucky that i’ve been giving myself that Drawing Experience so that i can connect w/ ppl that way, cuz i’m godawful at like, necessarily providing other stuff lol Or at being the one to Make Connections Happen otherwise......and also of course sometimes it is easier to convey/communicate something via drawing. woohoo!!
anyways yeah i’m a bit excitable lol and i sure guess i’ve got that Chaotique energy at times, for better or worse lol........like sometimes my Contribution can be like, just an absolute wild card thrown into the pile, or just like, maybe adding some Boost to a situation that other people can run with if they so choose. just throw things out there sometimes and enjoy when other ppl find that fun lmao
what else is there about me??? lol.......oh yeah i’m always sort of an Office Goofaround (not actually in an office ever, though). like, when ppl Don’t have that sense of Collaborative Humor where like, if someone does something a bit silly u just roll with that bit, or if god forbid they have Exhausting Cishet Guy humor where they think everything is about Dry, “Intelligent” Sarcasm and that being “funny” is about making yourself look like the coolest or cleverest person there who Wins the Center Of Attention spot?? it’s like, eff that, where are my Get Silly gang. also puns are funny but also only b/c they are silly. you have to really lean into it lol. 
well anyways!!!! and when i am asked to talk about myself i can be very extensive and yet not necessarily cover everything. here we are
26)favorite look you had?
my look hasn’t changed too much! Tees n Jeans (or shorts? or jorts? lol) are pretty much my thing altho you Know i have at times added in A Layer, or even accessories.......as always, part of the first few years of the decade for me was the whole “aha, yeah okay i’m trans” process, but before that i wasn’t ever really trying to be more “””””””””fashionable”””””””””” than the tees n jeans type of look anyway lmao, and even nowadays like, i have some Wardrobe Items that like, ppl might consider ”androgynous” or whatever when cis dudes wear them, like leggings or a v-neck sweater........really some of the only significant Changes was getting binder/s eventually (by 2012?? ugh idk) and also like, by 2011 i cut my hair relatively short, and from there on i just like, every year went “ugh god i need it to be shorter” and even now i’m like, hmm, do i want it shorter or is this fine?? but also i’m somewhat limited styling-wise b/c i just continually cut it myself in a bathroom mirror, true chaotic. and! i’ve been like, god i wish i had a baseball cap that’s just like, solid [my fave blue] or yknow, black or something, or idk. one that i like. and also someday it would be nice to like, not only have an updated prescription of lenses but also Multiple Glasses Frames to choose from, even though my current ones are alright still lol.......this is me just talking abt my past looks and how i’d like to potentially update my look lmao i did Not answer the question but, as usual, i also don’t have a great direct answer lol
38)a prediction you had for this decade that came true?
lol this was not a decade where i was ever looking ahead to 2020 and making any assumptions about this Block Of Time as a whole.......i mean like, i was Really starting to suspect byyyy 2012 for sure that like, i could not like, be able to exist And have my parents be in my life at all lol and by 2013 it was just like. increasing confirmation of that. and i last saw / spoke to them prior to me just effing out of there at the end of 2015. snaps for me
43)an important relationship (of any kind) you had?
well a couple i appreciated that might not be obvious were pretty brief and fairly impersonal lol. so in 2015 i had this Nightmare Job for five whole months which was obviously miserable in most ways, but there was this other guy who wasn’t even a Coworker, we just had the same job and had similar routes of Stores to go to, so we would run into each other a lot of mornings, and he would talk to me and i’d talk to him and he was totally good-humored about everything and that was helpful lmao b/c it’s great to have Someone you enjoy seeing. i also struck up a rapport with a baked-goods stocker at one particular store, and that could be an enjoyable 14 seconds. it was a godawful job lmao and like, Any pleasantness at all / decent treatment from other people was very helpful
also at this other job the next year which was a lot less hellish, there was this customer lady who like, i can’t remember at what point she started talking to me but yknow it got to be that if we’d run into each other she’d kind of update me on her life. and she would be like “sorry i’m talking to you, a stranger, about all this stuff all the time, but my life is a mess and i don’t really have anyone to talk to” and i would be like, lmfao mood, do not even worry about it, and yknow this was someone i only ran into usually once every few weeks at my job, and could only listen to for however long, but she was Going Tf Through It all the time and as much as i am a chatterbox who will go on for a century about myself b/c i can’t be concise abt anything ever, i’m also decent at being in Listening Mode lmao or yknow, i was like No Truly i don’t mind you venting, and also yknow, i’m like well i know how much it sucks to have Nobody to talk to about Big Problems. and i am this random restaurant worker and if i’m one of the only people this lady can talk to, you can bet i’m going to listen lol.......and she was really goin through it all One Thing After Another and yknow i’d catch her two weeks later and she’d be all like, well [this situation] has gotten worse, or This One Problem is over but now New Problem has replaced it, etc, and a whole issue that i got updated on was like lol. she had this boyfriend who she’d kinda mention early on when she was talking abt trying to find a job, or losing a new-but-terrible job and once again being back in that Job Hunt Stress, and idk like. i just sort of have decent Relationship Instincts lmfao of like “hmm this doesn’t sound great” but like, a month or two later she’s straightup Married to this dude, and i’m like oh congrats :) and then when a month or two after That she’s talking about how like, she’s maybe having Job Probs again and her now-husband is really giving her shit for like, not having found a new one yet, i’m like internally all [ :)))))) Not Surprised :))))))) ] but i’m like. yknow you Sympathize n Validate but if you just up and tell someone who’s being treated real bad like “you are being treated terribly, this person is acting terribly” then they might just want to defend them like oh it’s not That bad, or minimize it, and blame themselves for making their terrible partner “look bad”.......and by extension when she once was in our restaurant With said husband and introduced us i was like, just getting further confirmation abt this dude’s shittiness from his Immediate Vibe lmao like....whenever i feel uncomfortable enough in someone’s presence in a [not just universal level of Anxiety] way, it’s like, that instinct is pretty reliable & accurate lol.....but i had to pretend Not to hate him or act too standoffish towards him lmao cuz like!!! i figured i could “get away with it” but yknow, this lady had already said how isolated she was and the husband sure seemed Controlling and like, yknow, if you act like you don’t Like the shitty partner or said shitty partner catches wind of you maybe telling this person that “hey your partner is being shitty” then it’s all, them telling their partner “don’t go around that person who is so obviously Against me >:(” and like. yknow i figured as Random Restaurant Employee this dude wasn’t about to be super on guard about me but i still was not wanting to risk it but luckily i only met him the one time and only had to casually pretend i didn’t think he was shit that one time. and anyhow! soon enough the lady is talking to me about how she thinks getting married to him was a mistake but like, again, she was real isolated and didnt have family or friends or ppl in the area to talk to, and like, yknow she would be pretty sure her husband was cheating on her but of course He was the one all like, wanting to be controlling and invade her privacy and accuse Her of cheating on him, and i’m like, internally screaming but again yknow, i’m just letting her vent to Anyone (me) and sympathizing. and iirc her talking about her “uh oh my husband sucks” was like, i had come back from this delivery so we were in the parking lot lol and she was so upset about all of it and like, “sorry i’m just this random person talking to you for twenty minutes in a parking lot and crying lol” and i’m like. i mean yknow if the only person you can vent to about this terrible situation is me, this random person in a parking lot, absolutely i am glad to do it, even though i would’ve done it anyways lol...........and i was so mad at our General Manager this one time lmao b/c. yknow it’s a couple weeks later and wouldn’t you know it, The Lady is really stressed b/c her husband was yelling at her and broke a window in their apartment, and the Cost Of Repairs added to their monthly rent meant they might not be able to make that rent, and she was in that crappy situation that gets pulled on Tenants Who Probably Don’t Have Much Money, where you’re supposed to get 5 Days Notice or whatever when they’re like “get out b/c your rent is overdue” but you get that Notice on like, friday afternoon when your Last Day is supposed to be the following monday, and nobody is at the office all weekend, so obviously that’s not five days and it’s really only One Day and that Last Day that you’d even have a chance to talk to anyone, which is also a monday when you’d probably have work, and yknow, good luck finding help over the weekend, when probably ppl will just want to spend that time rushing to just pack their shit up and leave anyways.....ANYHOW it’s just some particular heinous bullshit and it was like, the saturday after it had happened to her, and i sympathized entirely b/c that had happened to me and i now lived in my car but i figured i wouldn’t bring that up lmfao.......and anyways i was sitting down with her to listen to her b/c it’s an Insanely Stressful Situation and again like, whenever she’d show up i’d let her talk to me abt her Problems for however long she felt like. and anyways of course eventually the one By-The-Books manager gives me shit all like “what are you doing daring to Sit Down and Not be doing restaurantly actions, ugh” and i’m like. i mean, unsurprising lecture to get lol, of course, but i was just so impatient like. well this person was having a crisis so i prioritized that above keeping the coffee stirrers fully stocked at all times, bite me. ENNYHOW and i didn’t see her for a minute after that and i Was a bit worried b/c like. of course i had every reason to be and she was just always looking so completely exhausted but then like, actually the last time i saw her she was actually more upbeat than ever b/c like! turns out that during an argument her husband had assaulted her and had been arrested. which is of course like. i was like oh i am completely sorry about that trauma but congratulations at this person being separated from you!!! and like, i wish i could have kept up with her beyond that, but i couldn’t, but like, that was the first Improvement in her life that i’d heard since i met her, and it was a way better last-thing-to-hear-from-her than her stressing out abt eviction thanks to her abusive husband breaking shit. and like, weird relationship lmao but!! idk i did feel lucky that i could be The One Person This Lady Gets To Talk With b/c like, god forbid she have absolutely nobody to talk to about this shit or treat her with any sympathy, even if it was just me, the rando she only got to see on occasion. and i hope she’s doing okay still! wish i knew for sure of course, but i’m glad i at least got to be there for her in a tiny way for a period of time and did eventually like, Know that she both knew that this was a bad person to be with, and got that Reason to be separated from him.
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nyashi-kaages · 5 years
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I need more info on Holly's Bizarre Adventure please- I'm sorry if I sou d pushy but damn I love it so much already-
i feel like a celebrity for literally getting one whole person interested in this , soo ,,, ask and ye shall receive 
em’s extensive post about holly’s bizarre adventure ( personal au – ) 
under the cut because this is going to take a while 
clap clap ! so, holly’s bizarre adventure, huh??? how come josuke gets a part and not holly ??? cowards !! 
but here i am, with my own personal au of what could be holly’s bizarre adventure & because i’m kind of a doormat i’m just here to say that these are all headcanons and you don’t have to slave over me and accept this or whatever 
and also ?? i have no idea who the villain could be, so from here on out the big bad will be refered as [INSERT VILLAIN] : )) 
also this is gonna be completely informal and unreadable ( OK LETS GO )
so, holly in this would be training hamon with grandma lisa lisa and would be somewhere around 17 - 18. she proves to be quite the exceptional trainee, beaming with enthusiasm as soon as she has to go train, thus literally never complaining and learning fast. 
though one day a world treatening danger yet again appears as [INSERT VILLAIN] shows up and before joseph and lisa lisa get the chance to discuss on what they should do, holly’s already run away (haven’t decided whether or not she leaves a note for joseph that says “bye i went off to save the world :))”). before leaving, she gets ahold of caesar’s headband, hearing from joseph that it brought him luck in battle and hoping for the same. 
before she can escape, the speedwagon foundation gets all wrecked by [INSERT VILLAIN] and santana is unintentionally let loose. not even a day passes of holly having run off and she quickly runs into santana. she doesn’t know who he is because though joseph did tell her stories of the pillar men, he never really mentioned how they looked. she quickly called out to him, marveling over how buff and big he is. not receiving a response, she offers to buy him a burger in return for his brief help. she manages to do just that and then also vent about how she’s a bit worried she won’t be strong or smart enough to save the world, yet not wanting her dad to throw himself in danger and hurt all over again. it had been a while that santana felt such a warmth and familiality radiating off a person, so he gets a little bit soft and reluctantly agrees to help her.
for story purposes there might be episodic dangers that are beatable by hamon or santana– 
anyways, santana has no idea holly is joseph’s daughter until she’s like - “santana, you’re always so grumpy! look, my dad taught me this trick, repeat after me! happy urepi yoropiku nee!! happy urepi yoropiku ne!!!” and santana does a spit take, but doesn’t say anything because he finds he doesn’t mind her company as much as he thought he would. 
there’s a bit of development over how holly, despite not wanting her friends or family to worry about her, gets blatant about how she’s actually very glad to have santana accompany her, because she secretly didn’t want to throw herself into danger all alone.
somewhere along the way i’d assume she meets sadao kujo who’s on tour, i guess. and ok, headcanon, i don’t think sadao’s a trashy asswipe because if he were he wouldn’t have standed holly for a second. but yeah, there’s probably some episodic danger involving one of sadao’s concerts (ah,, young talent,,,) and once her and santana run in, she gets all “uwu cute boy” and maybe saves his ass and he probably thinks she’s super cool. esp if she manages to carry him all bridal style, that’d be sick. 
OH!! almost forgot to mention, but i hc that the pearl necklace holly has would be from her youth in this au, like she would probably idolize lisa lisa and want something similar to her hamon scarf, leading her to make a hamon necklace! 
back on track, though as most jobros, santana must face his on screen death and at first i didn’t really know how it could happen, but @cuefunkymusic proposed an idea that he could die by joseph’s hand and we eventually thought of why that might be! 
joseph, of course, would go looking for holly once he realizes she’s gone and eventually when he finds her with santana he decides not to intervene for a bit, trying to figure if she’s being brainwashed. he was convinced santana was working with the enemy, so as soon as holly left him alone for a moment, joseph made his move and potentially killed him with hamon. hearing a pair of footsteps approaching, he hides, but soon realizes it’s holly and after she discovers her friend is dead (after an awfully angsty sequence of her being in denial and trying to tell herself santana is just sleeping), joseph just,, flees,, whoopsie
perhaps this happens in the [INSERT VILLAIN]’s lair when holly goes off to look for something that might help them (a key of some sort maybe???), but before she does she confides in santana, telling him that she’s a bit worried with a smile, but not failing to do the “happy urepi yoropiku ne!” and just to please her, he mutters the line out too and watches her walk off with a content smile.
and then dies! 
anyways, holly is overcome with grief, but doesn’t break down instantly (aside from the teary “wake up, santana! it’s not a good time to nap right now!”). she gets driven even more to defeat [INSERT VILLAIN], gets super mad while fighting them, accuses them of killing her friend, to which they are confused, but she thinks they’re just doing this to piss her off and is not clued in at all. only after her win does she fall on her knees and lets herself cry everything out. 
if she were to find out that her father murdered her friend, that might prompt her to move to japan as quickly as possible with sadao.
random points: 
episode where holly accidentally loses caesar’s headband, freaks out, but santana finds it for her
even if santana were to live and remain holly’s bestie, he’d still outlive her in the end, which would lead to angst
they definitely go shopping for clothes for santana at some point, much to santana’s display
they have combo moves!! santana probably throws her ala mr.incredible & holly uses hamon to kick herself off of thin air, do a flip, throw her hamon necklace & an enemy to later have it come back to her hand & then she lands back on santana’s shoulder (who tries very hard to get to a position where she can do so) , of course probably there’s more of those moves
when she comes back home post-santana’s death, she violently hands caesar’s headband back to joseph and tells him that it wasn’t lucky at all
as for her design, as to not taint your eyes with bad art, you may look @ the design i decided for her initially over here https://imgur.com/a/Dm4kLIf excuse the bad doodles :)))
@caligulasarmegeddon211 also made a cute design which you can find here !!
this,,, might be it ?? ofc if anyone who is mildly interested in this has any questions, ur free to ask ,, 
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ryncorrect · 5 years
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university!au: day6 jae
following my uni!au with young k (idk how to link my own post asbajdnskmd im Dumb) so here another one with jae lol i think im gonna make one for each one of them buttttttt no promise bc my brain works in a very mysterious way LOL
anyway leggo
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warning: this is lame lmaooooo
name: park jaehyung / jae
major: politic science
other activities: guitarist (and sometimes vocalist) of university band, member of music club, founder and leader of LOL SQUAD
everyone knows that tall skinny guitarist of the band i mean he’s hard to ignore tbh
he always wears loose T-shirt, ripped jeans, a cap that he puts backward, and round big specs to campus
professors hate his ripped jeans but can’t really say anything because oh well style doesn’t define someone’s grades and boy, does this kid actually get some braincells in him
well i mean at least he never fails his classes
he has this giant LOLSQUAD badge on his backpack because he’s proud af of his title as the club founder and leader
he actually started that club so he could to brag about his gaming skill to everyone who wanted to listen but he ends up getting his ass handed to him every single time they play together smh
if he’s not in class or hanging out with his game buddies, he can be seen following that Popular Student™ kang younghyun or as jae prefers to call him, “brian” or “brIBRI” because they both joined music club and are in the band
yes yes he’s well known and easy to spot
but…
“jae? park jaehyung?? who???”
everyone refers to him as “that foreigner student”, “the American guy” or “the gamer guy”, or my favorite: “chicken little”
i will never let that joke die im sorry but seriously he looks like chicken when he plays his guitar on the stage don’t @ me
there are only like 5 students in the whole university who know his actual name
anyways in this scenario you’ve always been interested in playing guitar but haven’t gotten a chance to learn and your friend kim wonpil invites you to join music club so you’ll have friends to practice with
“you know our jaehyungie, right? he’s really chill, you’ll get along well with him!!”
deep inside you’re like
who the heck is jaehyung
but wonpil is so excited to have you there so the next week you come to the club meeting
you introduce yourself to everyone and finally you meet him
“ohmygod the chicken little!!”
“whO THE HECK ARE YOU CALLING THAT”
“sorry- i mean the chicken guitarist- wait no-”
he glares at you, you laugh instead
scaring the new member challenge: failed
but yeah you’d seen him performing before and honestly you almost decided to become his fan
a l m o s t
at first he (jokingly) refuses to teach you guitar because you called him chicken little
and since then you keep calling him that just to mess with him
“hi chicken little”
“what’s poppin chicken little”
“why do you look so flustered, chicken little? do i make you nervous??”
he turns red chicken little is now an angry bird “gO AWAY NEWBIE YOU’RE SO ANNOYING”
jae’s a foreigner but he speaks fluent korean
he tells you that even though he was born and grew up in america he always speaks the language with his parents
but of course since he lives abroad there are lots of words or slang he doesn’t know, so you gotta be an ass and slip some difficult words when you speak to him
he gets his revenge by replying to you in english
whenever you two are having an argument (usually over stupid things) everyone in the club suddenly gets headache
wtf they’re not even making any sense
besides music, jae is the most excited when talking about LOL or social topics because well his major
honestly idk much about politic science so cmiimw
one time someone asks for his opinion about social welfare and he ends up starting a sudden debate session with the said person about social welfare programs in south korea and america and the difference between both countries
you mention human rights and he sNAPS
i mean he gives a full 15 mins speech about it
“yknow what im sayin?”
“dude… i honestly don’t get it at all”
because he be speaking in full english like wat
he’s just so passionate about everything it’s almost adorable
a l m o s t
and it’s not only his passion but also his small eyes, his laugh, his voice, or the way he occasionally lifts his head to look at you while playing guitar and you smile and he smiles because you smile first shnshsbshs soft
even the corners of his lips are so cute wow
oh fuck im emo i love him
but you adore him just as a good friend
he’s always been bubbly and friendly with everyone, not just you, so yeah it’s really easy to fall for him but you assure yourself that you’re nOT
are we having “in denial” shit again omg im so uncreative
anyway fast forward it’s ur birthday!!!! HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYY
you decide to throw a small party at your place and invite 5 or 6 of your closest friends but damn on the d-day it rains so hard
if ur bday falls on winter then change it to snowing hard, if it’s spring then maybe there’s strong wind or something, whatever suits you fam lol
so no one comes to your party lol you are Sad
BUT THEN!!!! JAE SHOWS UP!!!!!
PARK JAEHYUNG
OUT OF ALL PEOPLE
no you didn’t invite him because idk
are we really that close??? ehhhh he probably won’t come anyway haha why bother
BUT!!!! HE SHOWS UP!!! IN FRONT OF YOUR DOOR!!!
he’s carrying an umbrella but it didn’t really help apparently because he’s soaking wet
imagine that view i mean nvm
“i happened to be near here and i remember it’s your birthday today so i think i’m gonna drop by to say hi and suddenly it’s raining too hard on the way but anyway happy birthday can you let me in first i’m cold”
ofc you let jae in i mean we can’t let the chicken catch the flu amirite
but you warn him that he’ll have to leave before 11 or your RA will kick you both out the dorm lol
after a towel, two cups of hot tea, and one shared piece of chocolate cake, you told him you were supposed to have a small party tonight but no one could make it because of the rain and he’s like “hOW DARE YOU HAVING A PARTY BUT NOT INVITING ME I THOUGHT WHAT WE HAD WAS SPECIAL” and you’re just like “lol shut up chicken here eat more cake”
anyways you two spend time joking and talking about random stuff and it’s probably not the best birthday ever but at least you don’t have to spend it alone and to be honest you’re happy that he’s here
then jae pulls out his ultimate weapon
i mean his guitar
he was soaking wet but the guitar is clean and dry and all fine like hoW EVEN
“priorities” -park jaehyung
he said he gonna play a song of your choice because he came empty handed and he feels bad about it
you blush and pick whatever song comes to your mind because you can’t really think of any, and he starts strumming his guitar and sings
and while he keeps looking at you, you find yourself too can’t take your eyes off him
the song ends and you’re about to clap your hands when he suddenly starts another one
wait you’ve never heard this song before
it’s a slow song and the lyrics are all like, the sky turns dark on the birthday of the brightest star so that it’ll be the only light in his world, how he feels regretful that he has nothing to give but his small heart, and he hopes that this lovely person will hold his hand as they listen to this song together, that this lovely person will feel warm beside him
guys just imagine the song okay i can’t Romance
it’s dead silent until you whisper, “is that… a song for me?”
jae’s face turns red and he starts panicking™ like “i made up the lyrics just now okay i know it’s fricking sappy and cheesy as hell okay i just uhhh want to cheer you up!!!! because you seem kinda down!!!!! let’s not talk about this again uGh WhatEvER leT Me LIvE!!!!!”
but you chuckle and thank him, it was the best present you can get from anyone
you two stare at each other for a second that feels like years and he finally breaks the silence, “you know,,, maybe i came here on purpose,,, maybe actually i want to see you,,,”
“and why is it?”
“because i think,,, i miss you,,, kinda”
and you don’t say this out loud but maybe you do know that
even if you say you’ll never
in fact you’ve already fallen for him a bit
or perhaps a lot
like a lot
then he leans in to kiss your lips and you kiss back and it’s almost not awkward at all, it just feels right as if you’ve kissed him million times before
a l m o s t
you two still blush real hard after
but yeah that’s how you two start dating
none of you two tell anyone about it but it’s pretty obvious, i mean jae always picks you up at your dorm, he walks with you to your class or vice versa (if your classes don’t overlap tho), you two keep stealing glances at each others, also—
jae with you: “hey,,,, come here sit with me u3u,,,,, did you have lunch??? oh i wrote a song last night check this out,,,, what are you gonna do this saturday? oml you’re so cute”
jae with everyone else: “HAHAHAHA FUCKING FUCK SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING PRICK ALSO BRIAN FUCKING KANG IF YOU STEAL MY FUCKING FRIES AGAIN I WILL LITERALLY SNAP YOUR FUCKING NECK”
welp actually he’s not always sweet with you, sometimes you two still argue about silly things using mixed languages but now everyone in the club knows better to just run away once it begins
because it’ll end up with you two fighting or you two kissing
yes im nasty and a disappointment bye
btw wonpil is excited af it’s almost like he’s dating you both
“it’s really nice seeing you two finally together!!!!!!! especially because jaehyung really couldn’t shut up about you ever since the first day you joined our music club”
“wait wha-”
“YOU SNAKE THAT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE A SECRET FUCK OFF”
I’m so in love with park jaehyung y'all hsnshsbsh aNYWAYS!!! 100 blocks limit has lifted from tumblr app AYEEEEE
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mermaidsirennikita · 5 years
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my week in review
Monday: put in two weeks’ notice
Wednesday: call the university I graduated from two years ago figure out how to get a reprint of my diploma for Future Plans and Applications.  university is like “hmm, you actually NEVER FUCKING GRADUATED, because your application was cancelled”.  I suspect that this has to do with an issue with them transferring my study abroad credits over (I did a bunch of credits in Italy, like 30 or so, but I also... did a ton of fucking credits in the States, and in fact it wouldn’t matter either way because of the fact that all of my study abroad credits were under my university’s umbrella anyway) but they tell me I never applied to graduate, and I’m like funny because I FUCKING WALKED and my entire family attended the graduated with tickets I never could have gotten had I not WALKED which I was only able to do because I APPLIED TO GRADUATE TWO YEARS AGO and was never notified of another occurrence.  university is like “uhhhh this has never happened before we’re looking into it.”
Thursday (night): I’m driving home from work (an hour commute by the way, hence the two weeks and new job) when my car’s spark plug blows.  I do not know this because I know cars, I know this because it’s the third time in SIX FUCKING WEEKS that this has happened.  first time was the day before I moved, so I needed it done and paid $400 to have a new plug installed and a coil replaced.  second time I was visiting home and was stuck for five fucking days while another shop (the good guys in town, supposedly) just said that it wasn’t installed “super well” so they fixed it for another $100.  I’m like so y’all didn’t even look into it right, whatever.  I drive home and must wait ‘til morning to do anything about it.
Friday: after calling in at work and probably fucking up any chance of a reference with my boss because I look like a MAJOR ASSHOLE, I drive my incredibly poorly running car to a mechanic in town because the tow truck my insurance would have covered would have taken an hour to get there.  within 2 hours the mechanic comes out and is like I’m so sorry, the first mechanic incorrectly installed the spark plug (a thing I could have done myself had I had the part and the knowledge, people do this) and your motor is ruined, you basically need a new engine, you should scrap this car (it’s a 2007 Mazda) because it will cost $4,400 to fix this car that we paid 3k for.  also, you should get a lawyer because that’s how bad this was.  I go home and sob for a couple hours because I didn’t want a car payment what with my plans to leave the country in a year, but also because this is all a FUCKING LOT, never mind all this other shit that’s been happening for a good two months now. but then I go into this weird fugue state where I’m like “It Must Be Done” and so I grab a fucking Lyft to go to a Hyundai dealership and I walk in and it’s like... I can think of a few times in my life where I suddenly become this cold to the world other entity who is like “this must be done and it must be done to these requirements” and it just kinda.... happens?  like I think shock just carries me through?  so I spend hours negotiating and I’ve got this migraine building but I’m also like, laughing and wheedling with these fucking car people, and due to my massive student loans I’m kind of assuming I won’t be approved because I wasn’t a year ago, but then I am?  for the payment I wanted?  and the car is (supposedly) good?  
so I began the morning with one car and then I end the day with another, I go home in this fucking car and throw up in my apartment because I’m just exhausted, and I look at my phone and it’s an email from my university being like “uh......... our bad here’s ur degree” and.  nobody can say I’m not a woman of action when it must be done, I suppose?
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thethespacecoyote · 5 years
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Did someone order more sad modern AU BenArmie? No? Too bad. 
Done for more Bad Things Happen Bingo! For “Hidden Scar” because that’s a whole load of angst fodder. Warning because this references some past and current abuse Armitage’s suffered thanks to his dad. 
Ben walks out of the bathroom, fresh from the shower with a towel wrapped around his waist, just in time to hear his phone vibrate against his desk. Puzzled, he steps over the backpack strewn across the floor and snatches it up, checking the illuminated screen to find a text from Armie.
>>> 10:47pm
are you awake?
It’s not too weird to hear from him this late at night, especially on a weekend. He and Armie text all the time, chatting about school or movies or nonsense, really. But it’s better than nothing, and Ben has few other friends he can talk with outside of classes and extracurriculars.
>>>10:48pm
sure am whats up
Ben cradles his phone in his palm as he sits on the bed, towel still draped over his thighs. The rain that’s been lashing his neighborhood all evening seems to have lessened to a trickle in the past hour, though the night outside still looks pretty cold and miserable.
His phone buzzes once more.
>>>10:48pm
would it be alright if i came over?
It’s not necessarily unusual for Armie to come over, even so late in the evening. Considering it’s the weekend, it’s even less strange, though usually they plan it out beforehand. Ben has nothing better to do, however, and having Armie over would certainly brighten a fairly dully and rainy night.
>>> 10:49pm
yeah sure lemme know when ur here
Ben tosses the phone back on the bed and rises, figuring he has a moment to get ready. He rummages through his chest of drawers for a pair of sweatpants, tying them low about his hips. His phone lights up with another notification, and he picks it back up.
>>>10:52pm
im outside. can i come up?
Outside? Already? Their houses were at least twenty minutes apart, and Armie didn’t even own a car. He had a bike but that wouldn’t shave off that much time. So how was he here?
Ben glances to his window, where droplets of water still cling and glimmer in the moonlight. At least it’d stopped raining. He hopes Armie hasn’t been waiting that long.
>>>10:53pm
one sec
Ben looks around his room, suddenly conscious of the mess. If he leaves things like this he won’t hear the end of it, so he scurries about, trying to do some last minute clean-up. He scrapes loose shirts and jeans and socks off the floor and stuffs them into the closet, before tossing couple old receipts and empty snack wrappers that’ve accumulated onto his desk into the garbage. He rolls his free weights towards the walls, getting them out of the way so Armie won’t trip on them.
Finally he pulls on a tank and hoodie, tousling his still wet hair as he heads out of his room and downstairs. He pads quietly through the house, knowing which floorboards to avoid, which doors to treat especially gently lest they creak. Both his parents should be sound asleep but it’s best not to take chances. He doesn’t want them sending Armie home if he’s already made the trip here.
He prowls to the front door and unlocks it as quietly as he can, peeking out onto the porch. The dim orange light just barely illuminates where Armie paces dully on the bottom steps with his arms wrapped tightly around his chest. He stops in his tracks and looks up when the door opens, hopping up onto the porch like a lost animal waiting for food.  
Ben thinks it’s weird he isn’t wearing a jacket, or really anything to protect him from the cold apart from a dark grey turtleneck. He can see Armie shivering, hair lightly dusted with dew, and wishes he’d brought one of his hoodies down to wrap around him. Good thing it’s warm inside the house.
“Hey.” Ben waves awkwardly, not sure what else to do with his hand. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to take so long.”
“S’okay,” Armie mumbles, arms squeezing tighter around himself. Ben stands aside to let him in, quickly closing the door behind them. His eyes fall to Armie’s back and thinks it might be good to put his hand there so he can guide his friend through the dark inside the house, but he stops himself and instead rubs the back of his neck.
“You alright?”
“Yeah. Just wanted to see you,” Armie admits, hunching his shoulders inwards as he adapts to the sudden warmth. “That’s fine, right?”
“Oh yeah. Just gonna have to explain to mom and dad in the morning.” Ben leads the way back to the staircase, stopping only briefly to nod towards the kitchen.
“You hungry or anything? We probably can’t turn on the stove or microwave without waking the parents but there’s probably some snacks or something. If you want.”
Armie shakes his head.
“No…can we just go up to your room?”
“Sure.” Ben’s still full from dinner anyway, he just wants to make sure Armie actually eats. He knows he has a tendency to skip meals for studying, or just because he forgets.
He hopes Armie won’t notice how messy his room is, as despite the earlier manic cleanup Ben knows it’s really not up to his friend’s standards. Armie’s space back at his house looks crisp and tidy, almost barely lived-in—a real contrast to Ben’s chaotic den, walled in by music posters and lit by only one lamp.
“You want me to turn something on? It’ll be fine as long as I keep the volume low.” Ben gropes for the remote on the desk when Armie hums in vague agreement, sinking down besides the other boy as he flicks on the television. Ben flips around until finding some older-looking movie he feels Armie might like. From the amount of gray men in suits that walk into frame it’s probably one of those political thriller films from the forties he’s always trying to get Ben to watch.
Well. No time like the present. Armie seems a little off, so hopefully this will cheer him up.
But when Ben looks over to him, he finds Armie’s not looking at the screen, eyes instead downcast upon where his hands fold in his lap. He hasn’t really reacted at all since sitting down, not to the television or Ben’s presence.
Concern worries in his stomach but Ben knows better not to pry when Armie’s shut off like this. They’ve been friends for years but he’s still pretty private, and tends to react fairly negatively when Ben tries to get past his walls. The only real fights they’ve ever had stemmed from that, so Ben’s learned to back off whenever Armie’s sending out serious “don’t talk to me” vibes.
Still, he can’t help but wonder where this all comes from. They’ve been friends for years but Ben doesn’t know all that much about his home life or what happened before he moved to town. Hell, Ben’s been to his house a handful of times and he’s still never met Armie’s stepmom nor any other member of his family apart from his dad
Ben’s not a fan of Brendol Hux, so he’s not quite complaining that he hardly gets a chance to visit Armie at home.
He leans back, propping himself up as he half-watches the roundtable of suits arguing on the television, wondering if he should say something but not sure what. Armie remains still, sitting on the edge of the bed with his fingers rubbing the hem of his sweater. But just as Ben opens his lips to break the silence Armie suddenly leans back and turns to rest his head against his shoulder.
Ben’s heart jumps in surprise at the sudden contact, expecting Armie to excuse this kind of intimacy like he usually does, but he stays quiet and only turns his nose against Ben’s shoulder, inhales like minute kisses against the fabric of his hoodie.
Ben watches, a little stunned. He’s never seen Armie this openly affectionate before. He’s pretty aloof about physical contact, though Ben’s got him to open up a little more in recent years. But definitely not enough for this degree of friendly cuddling. Or so he thought.
Ben wonders if something’s caused this change of heart—as well as the unexpected late night visit.
But he’s not exactly in the mood to rebuke it. Really Ben’s long pined for this kind of closeness with Armie, to fill in the last space missing in their friendship He tilts his chin down, watching the reflection of the television play across Armie’s pale skin. He can tell he’s still not watching the movie all that closely, but that hardly matters when they’re cuddled up like this.
Ben inhales slowly, careful not to disturb his resting friend too much, though the pounding of his heart might’ve already done so.
Wow. Armie’s hair smells nice. Ben hopes that’s not too weird to think that, as it’s just hard not to notice when he’s leaning against him. He turns his head slightly, inhaling the sweet scent and trying to figure out what exactly it is. Lemon, and maybe a hint of something more herbaceous.  
He doesn’t ask, honestly a little afraid to hear what Armie might say if he did. Instead, he just starts combing through his hair—at first just barely, his fingertips dipping through the feathery ginger locks like he’s afraid he might spook him. But Armie doesn’t pull away, or even comment on how Ben’s touching him. He doesn’t stiffen or twitch, only relaxing against him as Ben lightly skates his fingers against his scalp.
Soon he’s stroking through Armie’s hair properly, loving how soft it feels against his palm, how his friend almost melts against him. Just like a cat, Ben thinks with a smile, remembering the time they’d encountered a stray while walking home from school. It’d happened way back in middle school. Armie had convinced him to use his jacket to wrap up the poor thing once they’d coaxed her out from beneath a rain-soaked bush, insisting he couldn’t use his own blazer to keep the cat warm. Ben hadn’t complained, more amused by the stray’s orange coat and how closely it matched Armie’s fiery hair than upset about his sodden jacket.
He remembers they gave the cat away once she was nursed back to health. Armie had grown quite fond of her, but argued his father would never approve of a pet. Ben would’ve taken her if not for the fact that his dad already owned a dog that didn’t exactly get along well with other animals.
He knows Armie still wants a cat. Maybe someday when he moves out of his dad’s house he can have one.
Ben almost loses himself in the soothing brush of Armie’s hair. His fingers now thread at the locks close to the top of his head, properly petting him. Armie feels so loose and weightless against him, completely relaxed and trusting Ben as he touches him.
Elation fills his chest, and Ben can’t stop himself from smiling. It feels right to keep close to Armie like this, to comfort him through whatever’s going on, because something always seems to be going on with him. He wishes Armie would open up a little more sometimes and let Ben know what he’s feeling but this—this is good. This is a start.
Then his finger brushes against something strange on his friend’s scalp.
Ben pauses for a moment, fingertips feeling out the edge of something firm and raised out of Armie’s skin. But as he tries to touch more of it, lips parting in confusion, Armie tenses and jerks away from his shoulder. Ben catches a glimpse of his friend’s wide eyes and trembling lip before Armie pushes himself up off the bed. He clenches both his fists, voice hurried and wavering as he speaks.  
“I—I have to go, this was a mistake—“
Ben’s up in a flash, longer stride quickly putting him right up behind Armie, who’s trying to grasp the doorknob with shaky hands. He doesn’t quite get it turned before he’s pulling on it, jolting the door against the jamb andsending a shudder through the house that might wake up Ben’s parents. Fear jolts through the teen’s chest, and he reaches out.
“No, Armie, wait—“
Ben grabs his wrist and pulls without thinking. To his horror Armie reacts instantly, a muted cry ringing from his throat, like it’s hurt him. Ben instantly lets him go but instead of running away Armie shrinks down, arms wrapping back around his chest.
There’s some kind of shootout scene ringing on the television, the beginnings of climactic showdown between the enemy spy and the hero flashing across the carpet as Ben quickly kneels at Armie’s side, hands floating above his shoulders. He doesn’t know what to do, or whether the labored breathing wracking his friend’s body is all his fault.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry,” Ben stammers out the apology, struggling to find the right words. “Did I hurt you? I didn’t mean to hurt you, I’m so s—“
“N-No, no. You didn’t. You don’t have to be…” Armie clears his throat, voice returning with just a shred more composure. “I’m sorry. That…that was uncalled for.”
He tries to sit up straight, expression sudden fallen with shame at the outburst. Ben can see the wear on his face with alarming clarity now. The sallow cheeks, the bruises under his eyes and—most alarming of all—a puffy  little cut on the slope below his chin.
“I really should leave. You’re not—you don’t have to deal with me.” Armie babbles as he turns away from Ben’s gaze. His fingers anxiously stroke through his hair, trying to push the mussed locks back into their usual place.
“Don’t, please.” Ben still hesitates placing his hand on Armie’s shoulder, or anywhere else, no matter how much he wants to.
“I shouldn’t have touched you there. I’m really sorry. I didn’t know…whatever it was…I didn’t know it would freak you out so much.” He doesn’t know if any of his apologies will help get Armie to believe him, but he doesn’t know what else to do.
Gradually, Armie sits back off his knees, though his arms stay guarded around his body. He rubs his hands along the bend of his elbows, like he’s still cold despite sitting in the musty warmth of the bedroom. Ben’s heart pangs as the fabric of Armie’s sweater pulls along the thinness of his limbs.  
“It’s okay…I didn’t even think about it…It felt so nice for you to…” Armie trails off into silence, letting his eyes flutter shut. Outside the rain has started, beating a soft tattoo against the house. The movie too has reached a lulling denouement, the sounds of polished professional voices fading as Ben focuses his full attention on Armie.
He doesn’t know what’ll happen now, what he should say or do. He realizes Armie probably wants to let it go, bury it away like he always does and never speak of it again. But Ben can’t stop thinking about that thing—that scar on his head, hidden under the beguiling locks of hair.
How long has it been there?
“I just—,“ he swallows past the tightness in his throat that’s grown in the silence, “—want to help you if I can. If you need to—I mean—”
“Ben.” Armie shakes his head with a dead chuckle. “You don’t want to know about what happens.”
“But I do. If you want to tell me I—I’ll listen.” Ben finally pushes past his own hangups and reaches out, resting his hand on his friend’s knee. “I promise.”
Armie leans back against the bedroom door, shoulders rising with a weighty breath. His lips tighten together, a last ditch effort to hold back what threatens to spill out of him. Ben scoots a little closer, palm rubbing down Armie’s thigh, hoping his presence is helpful.
“My—my father has this damned ring. From his military days. Big old gaudy thing.” Armie emphasizes the shape with his hand. “Engraved and solid. He likes to wear it on his forefinger, fidget it over the knuckle.”
Ben vaguely remembers something like that from the few times he’s encountered Brendol, though he never took much notice of the specifics. The man’s a arrogant windbag, dressed with like he thinks he’s some the last beacon of aristocracy in the modern day. Always looking down his nose at those around him, even his own son—like gaudy jewelry and a pompous attitude makes him the better man.
“Things weren’t great when I was younger,” Armie continues, voice just above a drone. “I mean, they’re not great n—well, they were worse back then, right after he married my stepmother. They fought a lot. Sometimes I got in the way.”
Ben’s stomach sinks, but he dare not stop Armie, even though he dreads where this is leading. He watches as his friend swallows harshly, expression trembling.  
“I don’t remember much of it, but I know that he hit me when I tried to get them to stop once. He got so angry he…punched me in the head.” Armie mimes the action with a numb fist. “Just…like he didn’t care what might happen to me after.”
Anger flares up inside Ben at the confirmation of his worst fears, calling all sorts of terrible images to the forefront of his mind. His Armie, just a kid, indifferently assaulted by his own father. He’s always found Brendol Hux unpleasant, the tension Ben senses between him and his son all but confirmed whenever Armie complains about him. But he would’ve never guessed that the animosity ran that horribly deep.  
Armie lifts his hand to the side of his head, where Ben had found the scar, fingers twitching as if afraid to touch it, as if it still hurts him.
“I needed stitches. I was only five, and I needed thirteen stitches for what he did to me,” Armie spits.
Ben feels sick with rage. He’d only felt the edge of the ragged skin, the healed-over evidence of Armie’s pain. It must extend even further along his scalp, an inescapable reminder of what his father did to him.
“And that wasn’t the first time he did it. Or—“ Armie’s chest hitches, fists clenching in his lap. “—or the last.”
He leans his head back against the bedroom door, finally looking Ben’s in the eyes. Despite his efforts to come his hair back earlier it’s fallen across his forehead once more, looking thin and lifeless.
“Ben, it’s—it’s never going to stop, is it?” Armies voice cracks out of the dull monotone, pain and frustration finally bleeding out as tears start to collect in his already reddened eyes. “If it hasn’t stopped by now, it’s not ever going to. Not until one us of dies.”
He palms his forehead, teeth gritting around his weak sobbing.
“I wish he was dead, why can’t he just die and leave me alone?” Armie gasps, his entire body shaking as tears crawl down his cheeks.
Ben’s never seen him cry, and it hurts. It’s not like that kind of healing crying, nor tears brought about by moments of great joy. It’s frustrated and crumbling Armie down right in front of him. It’s a cry for help.
In that moment Ben’s hands itch for a fight, for anything to help him deal with the sudden furious energy rolling through his body. He feels like he could scream and throw things, maybe even march to the Hux household through the rain and beat Brendol’s face in until the storm gutters ran with blood—
—but Armie needs him. He needs Ben’s comforting presence. Not his boundless anger, or his need for vengeance.
Those will come later, when they’re rested and clear-thinking and ready to make a plan.
“Hey, shh. C’mon, don’t cry.” Ben tries to keep his voice even, to push away the rage that bubbles up for his friend’s sake. “You’re going to be alright.”
Armie snorts through his tears, disbelieving, but Ben leans in and wraps his arms around him before he can protest. He holds him close, one hand around Armie’s waist with the other pressed against the back of his head, pulling him away from the door and letting him rest against his shoulder. Ben feels him sniffle, body shivering as it slowly relaxes in his grasp.
Armie’s so much slighter than him, less bulked out with brawn—but Ben suddenly feels he’s the strongest person he’s ever met.
“I…” Ben starts, his own voice feeling roughed and hard to command as it brushes against the side of Armie’s head. “…I’m really glad you. Y’know. Came here tonight.”
It feels like a lame, inadequate thing to say after Armie’s spilled his guts out to him, but Ben can’t think of anything else. He really is grateful that his friend is here, somewhere safe and away from the monster who calls himself his father. If Ben could, he’d keep Armie here for as long as he wanted to stay. He’d never have to go back to that house where Brendol could keep hurting him.
Armie sniffs, rubbing his face against Ben’s hoodie, before carefully pulling away. Despite the tears, he looks a little better now, even managing a weak smile that goes right to Ben’s heart. He wipes at his nose with his sleeve, letting out a soft sigh.
“I probably look a mess…sorry.”
“You really, really don’t have to apologize,” Ben stresses. “It’s late. And you look real good anyway.” Armie gives him a strange glance at the admission, but Ben quickly changes the subject.
“You wanna sleep in that,” he whispers as he rubs the shoulder of Armie’s sweater, “or do you need something else to change into?”
“Uh…I’m not sure any of your clothes would fit me…” Armie sniffs, even mustering a small laugh as he presumably envisions what Ben’s closet full of hoodies and baggy jeans might look like on him.
“Well you’ll just be sleeping in them, not going to meet the Queen for tea.” Ben affects a weak impression of Armie’s accent, hoping it’ll earn him more of that smile. It does get Ben a slight, amused eye-roll which is—all things considered—close enough.
“C’mon.” He helps Armie up off the floor, guiding him back to the bed to sit. “I’ll grab you something.”
Ben scrounges in his closet, finding a pair of pajama pants he’d gotten for one Christmas and never tried on, as well as the least worn of his collection of black graphic shirts. He gives it a quick sniff, before deciding it’s clean enough for Armie to wear and holds it out to him.
“Here.”
Armie takes the clothes with only a little bit of skepticism. Ben shrugs sheepishly, smoothing his hair back.
“They’re not that bad, right?”
“Someone needs to teach you how to do laundry one of these days,” Armie tsks, even as his fingers brush affectionately over the clothing. “It’s better than nothing,” he adds after a moment.
“That’s practically a compliment from you. Now go get changed before you fall asleep in your slacks.” Ben sends him off to the adjoining bathroom, before deciding to clean up the bed a little bit more. He pulls out a pillow wedged between the mattress and the wall, fluffing it up along with the rest before brushing the covers flat and grabbing an extra blanket folded up under the bed.  
By the time he’s finished things up the bathroom light clicks off behind him. Ben turns around to see Armie crouching in the doorway, gingerly setting his old clothes and damp loafers upon the floor before shuffling towards him.
Both the shirt and pajama pants hang off his skinny frame, making Armie look a lot smaller than he actually is and—honestly?—pretty adorable. Ben’s almost thankful for the dim light in his room, because otherwise Armie might see him blushing.
“Not half bad.” Ben nods his approval, patting the covers beside him. “This could be a new look for you. We could match.”
Armie rolls his eyes and comes to sit on the bed, the cuffs of the pants pooling over his bare feet.
“I wouldn’t dare. The world doesn’t need two Ben Solos on its hands.” He smirks, before reclining back against the bed. Armie stays that way for a couple moments, chest rising and falling gently with his breath, before pulling his legs up onto the bed and curling onto his side. His hair splays out slightly over Ben’s dark bedcovers, contrast making it more vibrant. He looks so soft, so vulnerable lying in Ben’s bed, and when Armie’s eyes lift up and lock with his he’s sure his blush could glow through even the deepest darkness.
Ben shuts off the television, now playing the end of the movie’s credits, before lying down besides the other boy. Ben faces him, only a moment of doubt flickering between them before he reaches out and pulls Armie in close. Ben would’ve never dared to hold him like this before tonight, too afraid of how his friend might respond—but it feels like their relationship has shifted a little bit, at least to warrant a deeper sort of intimacy. A crack in Armie’s hardened armor has opened, and Ben fits into it perfectly.
The rain continues outside, drawing glistening patterns against the window. It looks and sounds cold, and Ben wonders if it’ll continue into the next day or break once morning dawns, showing the sun through the clouds.
He nudges his nose into Armie’s hair, hand brushing over his back and feeling the slope of his body beneath his palm. He still smells of citrus and herbs, a bright aromatic spot in the dark musk of the bedroom. Even half-sleep and clad in Ben’s spare clothing, he brightens up the space between them.
Ben curls around his best friend, the person he cares most for in his life, slipping their legs together beneath the blankets. He feels he might be pushing his luck but he wants to be as close to Armie as possible, keeping him shielded and safe from everything out there that wants to hurt him.
It’s all Ben can do for now.
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thegeneralsnotebook · 5 years
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July Feature: Further Design Thoughts
Last month, in my Set 11 wishlist, I decided to go through some random ideas for new directions that the various colours in this game could go as we push on into another set and, at least in theory, another Block and another iteration of Core. Those ideas were mostly all spur-of-the-moment, thrown together without any thought for if they would work together properly if they were all packaged together. For the most part, it was a long list of things that I’ve sometimes thought the game could do to have, organized loosely by colour. I intended that to be the end of it, and presumed that come July another topic would catch my attention, as has always happened so far as I’ve written these articles.
But it turned out that inspiration was a more capricious patron than that, and indeed throughout July I found myself still thinking of card and mechanic design, elaborating on some of the earlier thoughts and in general refining the rough ideas into something more solid and better integrated. So this month’s article really should be thought of as Part 2 to June’s. This isn’t really a “Set 11 wishlist” anymore, just further thoughts on new directions for the colours and the beginnings of an organization for it all. Indeed, there will also be just a couple of concrete card designs in here as well, mostly the ones that nicely encapsulate some of the ideas that I want the cards to pursue. Anyone who knows me won’t be surprised that for the most part I jumped on URs for actual designs. I’ve always gravitated towards unique and novel designs, and it’s in the higher rarities that we really get to stretch on what a card is allowed to do. They won’t look super nice, as I didn’t have the time or skill to make them pretty, but it’s the text that counts, after all.
Just as with last month’s post, none of these ideas should be taken with any measure of authority. But again, as before, I welcome feedback and suggestions for how the ideas could be improved moving forward. On the off chance that any of this does give some inspiration to any Enterplay folks that happen to find it, I’d like it to be as polished as can be.
Blue
Rather than the randomness of June, let’s get back to tackling the colours in the order people are most comfortable with. The general principle I worked with in June was to give the colour something new to be one of its cores, and while I had a couple of ideas there, none of them were really any good. Instead, I’ve decided to circle back on one of the colour’s existing principles: frightening stuff. 
In the past, Blue’s frighten has been used as a soft removal option to augment aggressive decks, and only lightly for proper control. I would want to circle back the other way, and offer the possibility for true Blue control, based on ideas similar to what was experimented with back in AD. I don’t have a clear idea of how this is going to work yet, but it’s one option.
Another idea I’ve considered is to give Blue some synergy with frightening its own Friends and dealing with that. For example, a really simple yet interesting design would be a 4-Power Friend that costs 2 but says: “This card enters play frightened.” On its face, that’s just a 4-for-4, but sometimes, like if your opponent has a Desert Road for example, it can be a lot better.
Similarly, I think it would be nice to give Blue something even more concrete that makes frightening its own Friends not such a bad thing. Here’s the first full card proposal for this month:
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A card like this I would imagine as pushing a completely new brand of Blue farming, one with some Friends, because you really don’t care about your Villains frightening your board. You can just farm them anyway. 
Orange
For Orange, last month I said that I wanted to stick with a focus on +1 Power counters for a kind of Orange aggro. Decks like this are already pushing at the fringes of the meta, so there’s less need to go overboard in helping out this archetype. Still, I think that there’s plenty of room left to explore here. For example, let’s keep the card train rolling with just one thought:
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This would be a really interesting card, at least to my way of thinking, as when first played it isn’t all that good, and it does require some work to get to a good spot. But with just a couple of counters, suddenly you’re in a really good place. Plus, there’s something to be said for the certainty of knowing what your flips are going to be beforehand. This is just one example of the strange places that further exploring Power counters can take us.
As a secondary note, since Yellow is going to be exploring -1 Power counters as its way of getting into control, it only makes sense to put a little bit of tech against it in Orange. One possibility was an Event that removes all “Power counters” (plus or minus) from a Friend, and it makes a fair amount of sense to throw that in Orange.
Pink
Unlike many of the other colours, Pink was one that didn’t furnish a whole lot of inspiration for me as I went through the month. I was thinking about retiring Friends to fuel effects in June, but didn’t really get any further than that. Instead, I found myself resurrecting a really old idea, one from all of the way back before the game even released.
I’m talking about the beta set, and specifically I’m talking about Turn Action abilities, which showed up a little bit in that original group of cards. From what I can tell, these were essentially built to give the player a richer set of “Base Actions” as opposed to the usual 1 to draw, 2 to move, 2 to rally, 1 to play a Troublemaker, etc. Naturally, today we wouldn’t phrase such a thing as a “Turn Action”, we would just use a Main Phase activated ability, but the general idea stuck with me, and I wondered if it might be possible to make Pink a colour of generally expanded options.
Like 1) How about a card that was just “When you would draw a card, you may draw the bottom card of your deck instead of the top one”? Simple, not always better, just more options. 2) “Pay (1) to look at the top two cards of your deck and put one of them into your hand.” That one is a strict upgrade of Pay 1 to draw, and likely would go on a Purple-Pink multicolour, but still it’s an idea. Finally, here’s a potentially dangerous one: “Immediate: Retire a Friend.” The devil of it is I can’t figure out if that’s super broken, allowing you to dodge faceoffs forever and boosting all of your take-control effects, or actually just fine, since it does require you to get rid of your Friends with little strategic benefit. But at least it’s a more extreme option to throw out there.
Purple
I have a lot of fun ideas for Purple, and they all hinge on two basic principles, one that I laid out last month, and one new one. Last month I said it would be great to push Purple into aggro, specifically using Events. This month I decided that I wanted to give the colour more emphasis on planning ahead, making preparations in an early turn for a sweeping big turn later. Those work pretty well together, and in theory could take the colour in some really interesting directions.
The first thing to think about was how to give Purple aggro a boost via the usual Purple way (AT advantage) without just breaking Mistmane. I want to push Purple’s AT just a touch more, but require the colour to make some sacrifices to get there. And the answer seemed pretty straightforward, though it did involve borrowing some text from Blue. This would likely be on a Resource: 
Cost: 3, Req: 4 Purple, “At the start of your turn, lose all action tokens that weren’t gained this turn. <P> Gain (2) at the start of your turn.”
Naturally, we do our best to make sure that this can’t be played in the super-early game, and the built-in OEG effect stops it from being useful either for combo or for other AT-banking decks. In theory, this should only support aggro that wants to spend all of that extra AT every turn.
Finally, here’s a fun card idea, a small reference to an old UR from Canterlot Nights that I’ve always thought was pretty cool:
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“It” there being the top card of your deck, of course. Like I said, planning ahead and aggro built on chains of Events can indeed work together just fine.
White
Like I said in June, White has to go back to basics, and while I emphasized at the time that the biggest, most important thing was getting a good Mane lined up, that was strangely enough the one area where I had no ideas this month. I did at least hammer out a fine principle to work with, though. What, after all, is the most basic White idea there ever was? It’s hats. A fine archetype that I personally think could use a little more time in the Sun. And that probably does start with a Mane, like Dressmaker, that subtly pushes a hat deck right from the get-go.
I did have some thoughts for a secondary theme of the colour, though, and that was for a sort of “purge”-type deck, where we benefit from taking the abilities away from our own stuff. In this sort of paradigm, White could get a lot of aggressively-costed Friends with negative drawbacks on their text, which indeed is a minor principle of the colour already, dating back to Prim Hemline and filly Coloratura, for example. And here’s one more idea along those lines, and a highly flavourful one at that:
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(See, he’ll only accept the finest Accessories. Which, by the way, means that in Harmony Dressed Up and Clipped Wings both don’t work.) 
Yellow
As I mentioned up above when talking about Orange, Yellow I want to take toward control, and to do that I want to focus on minus Power. This can come both from being more aggressive on the keywords and abilities that the colour already has, and from implementing -1 Power counters as a thing that Yellow can do. The great thing about counters, of course, is that they give Yellow a form of hard removal while staying firmly on flavour. And sure, it isn’t even really hard removal, as just like with frightening, the card can be flickered and back to normal in no time. Though unlike frightening, there is no basic 2 AT way to undo the damage. Unfortunately I don’t have any concrete card proposals based on the idea yet, but there are at least some avenues to explore.
Number 1 is, as mentioned a couple of months ago, to double down on Calming. Maybe make a card that actually is Calming Infinity, to see how well that works. Number 2 is to think about the impact that -1 Power counters can have on a board. The same way that White can benefit from having characters with Power higher than their printed Power, Yellow can key off of cards with Power lower than their printed Power. There’s at least a lot of potential to explore here, even if my inspiration in July was lacking somewhat.
Conclusion
In the future, time will tell if I continue to put thoughts and effort into these ideas or not. I never can tell when inspiration is going to strike, and equally I never can tell if it will be about this topic or something entirely different. But at least here are some more ideas for people to chew on. What say you? Is everything here just totally busted? Or are there some salvageable ideas floating in the debris? As always, comments and feedback are welcome and encouraged.
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bidibidibombaclaat · 6 years
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There’s Something They’re Not Telling Us
Pairing: Conspiracy Theory!Erik x OC
Word Count: 2.5K
A/N: Hello peeps! It’s been a minute, buuut here we are. We got a fun one dedicated to @hearteyes-for-killmonger ! I always found it odd that our fave bae with a plan to take over the tri-state area worked for the very people he was suspicious of. Thus we arrived at this concept. I hope you like it!
-----
Eri and Erik had always been cool. Initially bonding over their names and quiet love for the same early 2000s pop bops, they were a special kind of made to be together. It seemed like the natural progression of things when they slowly transitioned from friends to more. Their love for each other was both complicated and simple. Ever the other’s constant, they’d had many tests to their relationship, when it was platonic and when it took a turn toward the romantic.
They had gone through a lot as a unit; endured many tests. Nothing could come between them.
Except UNO.
“You can’t make up rules just because you’re losing and you’ve BEEN losing for the last 2 hours.”
“Don’t say it like I didn’t win anything!” Eri screeched, her face heating from rage, “And I’m not making up rules.”
Hours into what was supposed to be a chill smoke session with games and snacks, only the worn pack of UNO cards had been fired up. That and the two players at the small card table that sat in the middle of Eri’s apartment. A simple attempt at nostalgia had turned into one of the pettiest grudge matches either of them had experienced to date.
“Alright, I’ll let that one go even though I don’t see why you need to put down a draw four wild card and then another wild card right after. I just don’t,” he grumbled.
“Don’t worry about my methods, just worry about this L you bout to take, baby.”
She grinned wickedly across the old faithful she’d borrowed from her aunt’s house. The rickety piece of furniture had seen better days. The rubbery fabric was cracked and poking out in all four corners. It needed a piece of cardboard under the legs to keep the wobble under control, and unidentified stains littered the surface. She loved it. It was a good luck charm of sorts. This very table witnessed the Dominos Debacle of ‘97 and many other testosterone fueled competitions. From spades to who made the most tender ribs, this baby had seen it all. The smell coming off the dusty surface alone was giving her sensory memory a tickling. She closed her eyes and relished the sound of hands slapping the table while yelling, “DOMINO!” louder than Easter suits.
Letting that energy take over she wiggled in her seat happily, her two braided buns shaking with every twist of her body; and shuffled her cards. She chanced a glance at Erik, who was completely focused, eyes shifting back and forth as he decided which card to play. Entirely too serious for a kids’ card came.
Erik on the other hand felt she wasn’t taking the game seriously enough. This was battle.
Gazing at the stack of played cards, he noted the top card was red. He didn’t have red cards nor the mental fortitude to draw a bunch of cards. Not when he was this close to ‘UNO’. His options were either draw or quit. Quitting wasn’t in his blood though.
He reached for the threatening deck and thanks to the poor shuffling at the beginning of the game--maybe letting her cut the cards earlier wasn’t a fail--drew a red ‘7’. With triumph in his eyes, he placed the card on the stack of played cards and waited.
“Your move baby girl.”
With only two cards in his hand, he felt confident that this would be another easy victory.
---
“All I said was you can put two skips down at once! Double skips are totally allowable! You didn’t have to whip out a laminated and bound copy of the rules and cross reference the document with the online website.”
“I had to do just that,” he barked, placing the rule binder back in his satchel, “You act like you don’t know what this is.”
“I thought this was a friendly game! We’re not little no more, UNO doesn’t have to be like this E!”
His neck reared back as he scoffed at her innocence.
All is fair in love and UNO.
“HA! So misguided. I bet you think water’s wet too,” E stated, his face going stony.
“Not this again.”
“YES THIS AGAIN. IF YOU'RE IN A STATE OF BEING THAT IS WITHOUT WATER, SUBMERGING YOURSELF IN WATER MAKES YOU WET THEREFORE WATER IS WET ONLY IF YOU LIVE IN A NON-AQUEOUS ENVIRONMENT!”
He started accentuating his points with claps, really driving home his point, but not exactly proving one.
“IF I'M A FISH,” CLAP, “I AM MERELY IN MY ENVIRONMENT,” CLAP CLAP, “THEREFORE--
At some point during his rant, Erik stood from his place in the chair across from Eri, a thick crochet blanket falling from his shoulders to the floor. His clapping was accompanied by slight steps to the left and right, knocking his chair out the way and minutely shifting the small table housing the snacks and momentarily abandoned UNO cards.
“Ya know, you 1000% resemble a goomba when you move like that,” she interjected, tired having heard this impassioned speech many times before.
“--I'M DRY UNLESS I EXIT THE WATER,” CLAP CLAP CLAP, “THUS MAKING ME OXYGEN WET, MEANING WATER AIN’T WET, ERGO, VIS A VIS THE END.”
“I know you don’t think that’s the end! It isn’t the end just because you say it’s the end! Water is wet and ya elbows are dry, FIGHT ME.”
They both glared, eyes watering at the impromptu staring contest.
Eri didn’t even care about this subject, but something about him being so extra about more than one thing at one time was reverting her back to the years before the relationship, adolescent power struggle behaviors rearing their ugly head.
She could be rational, of course, but everything about this was making her amygdala itch. She’d reached the age for her frontal lobe to fully develop, but ignoring the reasoning side for that pesky emotion center was highly tempting. It was like it was whispering sweet nothings to her internal monologue.
Drag him sis, then smoke his weed like you bought it, it whispered.
The untouched blunt between them looked lonely. They didn't even get to light it before the games began.
Yeah, she mentally whispered back--her head nodding along with the conversation, I can and will do that.
With a slightly dazed smile, she broke eye contact first. She reached for it, hoping to redirect him with it after her frustrated declaration.
“Nah. Put it down. You grow up with somebody, exchange a couple bodily fluids, and assume you know them. But honestly the world is full of lies and the English language is full of hexes and curses,” he lamented while slowly lowering his boy into the creaking seat, wrapping the heavy blanket around his shoulders once again.
“Don’t quote B.O.B. in this house. He thinks the Earth is flat as the backside of that hook in his head.”
A silence fell between them, but Erik wasn’t quite ready to let this go. He took a moment to build his resolve, ending the quiet abruptly.
“Eri,” he called her nickname, but she had resolved to ignore him, picking up her previously abandoned UNO cards and organizing them by color.
“ERICKA,” He tried again, thinking the government name would direct her attention.
Unfortunately, she was committed to the plan of not paying him any mind. Having found herself satisfied with her card separating skills, she picked up the pint of Blue Bell ice cream, that had previously been forgotten, and began enjoying her problematic fave.
“UR-RICKA!”
“You know I hate when you pronounce my name like Mama Dee! What!?”
“I was all ready to convince you to follow truth, but looking in your eyes, I see it’s that corn turning you into a modern zombie. Give that here.”
He snatched the bag of dill pickle chips from the table and the carton of ice cream from her clutches eliciting an aggravated yell.
“Those chips are made from potatoes, give them back! And it’s a well known fact, Blue Bell feeds their cows grass not corn, why are you torturing me? Give me my treats!”
“I just need you to take this seriously. I know what I’m talking about--with this and other stuff--and it would behoove you to start listening to me more.”
Eri visibly bristled at him trying to tell her how to do anything.
“Just like you knew what you were talking about on the way to the stadium during Scream Tour IV Debacle? It’s to the left Eri, we won’t run into all the traffic,” she poorly imitated his cracking pubescent vocals, “I don’t forgive you for making me miss Pretty Ricky.”
“I was but a boy with a fresh license and a poor sense of direction. That’s not even remotely the same,” he fired back, “and anyway, it’s a widely supported claim that corn has been genetically modified to alter the way humans make decisions. This is just one of many truths you’ve been coerced into ignoring.”
“Um. Excuse me?”
“Even now, I see your mind fighting against the truth. It’s that corn, babe.”
“Are you...trying to call me a sheep?”
He shrugged, not affected by how offended she looked, “I mean...if the wool fits.”
“Alright, BET. Let’s unpack, since you know so much. Answer this. Are the aliens real? If they are then why haven’t I met any Martians?” Ericka countered, crossing her arms and leaning back in her chair, fully defensive and not really expecting a serious answer.
Erik dropped his head to his chest, his patchy beard rubbing his clavicle, releasing a short laugh into the skin not covered by his v-neck. He gripped the bridge of his nose releasing a sigh that screamed, ‘my patience is running thin.’ Slowly he looked up and directed the universal ‘sign of roasting’ hands at his startled companion.
“To begin, I want you to check your privilege. If you want to have a serious discussion about what’s out there, show some respect. They are called alternative life forms. They’re highly intelligent and have the most advanced technology. Millenia of data collection and research are probably aiding them in evading our attempts to make contact. Humans are so destructive and we colonize everything. I would avoid contact with us too.--”
“OH MY GOD.”
“--And ‘martians’ is other planetary species erasure,” he tacked on at the end.
“This conversation is ‘our relationship’ erasure. Did you have your brain probed and not tell me? You stating a lot of information like it’s fact and honestly, I need some sources. Don’t give me no Wikipedia neither.”
“The facts make themselves clear to all that seek truth,” he organized himself once again taking a deep breath and looking into the eyes of his childhood friend turned lover once again. “There’s no website for what’s real, fam. They’re keeping secrets from us. And I wasn’t gonna say this because it’s a cliche, but it’s clearly something they’re not telling us. A LOT of something.”
“Well riddle me this. If this nebulous THEY is keeping things from us, why have millions of dollars been funneled into space exploration? Astronauts. All those rovers. The space race. The Space Chimps movie! What was the reason?”
He made a noise at the back of his throat signaling disgust, “All propaganda.”
“Wow. I feel like I’ve never met you a day in my life, but please elaborate.”
“Don’t mind if I do. I’m going to lead you through a series of questions then make my point. You cool with that?”
“Yup, get to it.”
“Okay,” he started again, his body doing the equivalent of knuckles cracking, “what are the markers of life that the space exploration programs always search for when they discover a new planet?”
“Water--,” she began, while Erik counted them off on his fingers, nodding along.
“Uh huh, what else?”
“Plant life. Presence of oxygen in the atmosphere. Temperature of the environment, like a livable climate. I think that’s everything.”
“Ok, good. We’ll operate off that list. Of those things, how many of them are required by human life to survive?
“Probably all of them. Food, breathing, not being burnt alive. All that helps and keeps us in homeostasis.”
“Cool. And if we’ve never met any alternative life forms, how would we know that they need exactly what we do to survive? Why not get creative and test different combinations to see the similarities and differences between human life and the others?”
“I guess we wouldn’t…,” she trailed off, only answering one of the questions.
“So would you agree with me when I said that space exploration was never about contacting other life forms, but a means of scouting our next planet to ruin when this one decides it’s curtains?”
Ericka cackled, a series of throaty noises coming up from her toes. He almost made her question herself.
“You know. You nearly had me. I’ve never heard someone call space exploration intergalactic real estate, but it’s a first time for everything.”
“You’re free to believe what you want, but I said what I said,” he stated with finality.
Eri picked her nails, a sign of nervousness. She had no idea how she’d been dating a truther for years and not realized it once. Who had she been sharing her Polynesian sauce with? Was she even sure anymore?
Through all the uncertainty, there was one thing that hadn’t changed. Her ice cream was melting and those chips weren’t going to eat themselves.
“The only thing I believe is that you should give me my food back.”
“Yeah,” a flirtatiousness that hadn’t been in his voice since the UNO fracas took hold, “and what do I get if I give them back?”
He dangled the snacks mere inches away from her face, his eyes screaming filth at hers.
Smiling sweetly, Ericka leaned across the small table, cleavage peeking from the v in her comfortable shirt. His eyes immediately darted to the sight. If she wasn’t so determined to get her food back she would have dropped the act and laughed at how much hadn’t changed in 10 years.
All grown up and still shook by ninnies, so primitive, she thought to herself coiling to spring.
She grasped the chips and ice cream from his hands, brushing her fingers with his. After placing the food on her side of the table, she ran her hands over the tapered fade of his loc’d updo, gently caressing the back of his head drawing him closer to her body.
Their faces were only a breath apart. She let her lips brush against his lightly; his eyes drifted closed and his mouth began to water. Her other hand slowly wound into the fabric of his shirt, holding him to her as much as being separated by a piece of furniture would allow. The inklings of confusion set into Erik’s face as her hand kept twisting, her grasp going from seductive to threatening.
Centimeters from his face, she whispered, “another day to live,” then released him back to his side of the table, chair teetering dangerously back and forth as he clung to the rungs.
“I dare you to take food from me again, I’ll bury you in the ocean. Find out if water is wet for real. Weirdo.”
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hauntedarbys · 5 years
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hi! i’m anon from mamoru (asking here cus asks aren’t on on ur sims blog) i’m really interested in your thoughts about incorporating disabilities into the sims, i’m trying to develop my own sims game cus fuck ea lol, and i’d really like to be as incorporating of disability as possible. thanks!
damn, my asks weren’t on? that sucks. i think i fixed it now, but i swear i already had them on...
anyway!!!
i’m looking at this more from a perspective of “how to make the sims 4 better” than like “how to make my own video game” and i don’t know much about coding or game development so idk how helpful some of this will be but hopefully some will?? infodump incoming!!! sorry if it’s not that coherent. i’ve bolded some keywords in case you want to only read sections pertaining to certain disabilities.
starting with canes, bc i use one and i wish my simself did: sims 3 had canes, but for some reason they were coded weird so only elders could use them (iirc modders weren’t even able to fix it?? wtf ea). plus ts4 has custom walkstyles, and your sim can hold things like umbrellas while walking, so it’s almost definitely possible to add canes and crutches.
adding walkers would probably be a very similar process, tho i can imagine there might be some issues w clipping? not that ea has ever given a single fuck about that lmao
i’m a little bit less sure how wheelchairs would work, but the best reference i can think of is the strollers from ts3, or maaaybe some of the smaller vehicles. i have a vague memory of like a bike or a hoverpad or something that you could ride everywhere and not just on the road, but idk. the main issue i can see is that certain animations and interactions would need to be a lot more flexible--eg, sims would need to be able to do things like cook or paint or give hugs while sitting down. i can also see it being a little tricky to animate “transfers” from like, a wheelchair to a desk chair or w/e. honestly i think this would be easier to implement in sims 4 than it would have been in sims 3, because ts4 at least allows you to multitask some things. idk, it would probably be on the harder side, but holy shit it would be so worth it.
and then for some reason when i think about wheelchair users in the sims i start to wonder how feasible it would be to include little people (i hope that’s the right term?). simmers have been wanting height sliders since at least ts3, but any time a modder tries to add one the animations start getting kinda wonky, and i don’t think anyone’s really considered a height slider that goes low enough to make sims with dwarfism. i KNOW there are non-sim games out there that use height sliders, but idk how tf they do it without giving everyone telekinesis.
there was a mod in sims 3 that added sliders for amputated limbs, but it was a purely cosmetic thing, so like, sims would still walk like they had two legs or write with their “missing” hand or w/e. ideally i’d love to see a way to give sims limb differences that actually affected how they went about their lives + gave them the option to use prosthetics. i found a set of running blades in the “shoe” category for sims 4, but like... if you give them to a sim they’ll still magically grow legs in the shower lol.
deafness i think ties into my desire for sims to be able to speak multiple languages. not all deaf people use sign language, of course, but it would be great if sims had the option. i guess languages would function like any other skills, and if two sims don’t have any languages in common, they won’t be able to communicate beyond very basic things. maybe if you wanted a deaf sim to be able to speak, you could hire a speech therapist, or purchase some sort of object for them to practice with. also, dyou remember the earbuds in ts3 that made it so like, you’d only hear the music when you selected the sim using earbuds? i think you could probably make it so that when a deaf sim is active the game volume is either much lower or completely off. then for things like hearing aids, you could equip them and the volume would get a little bit higher.
blindness could use a similar mechanic, but instead of everything being silent, everything would be very dark and low-contrast. maybe objects that were making noise or places your sim had been before would have more detail. blind sims could also use navigation canes that would like... light up the area immediately in front of them.
invisible disabilities, allergies, and neuropsychiatric conditions would probably be a bit easier to add. sims 4 has a “quirk” system for celebrities where certain actions can trigger your famous sims to develop new traits. 
i think the best example of how you could use this to make, for example, mental illnesses is the “emotion bomb” quirk. famous sims develop it after experiencing intense anger or sadness, and it basically makes them experience that emotion much more intensely. that’s already a symptom of a mental illness called bpd! so what if something like repeatedly being mean to a child sim had a 0.1% chance of causing them to develop bpd? or if having a powerful sad or tense moodlet had a 0.1% chance of causing them to develop depression? 
(side note: i can really easily picture something similar to the “dark form” for ts4 vampires being used for dissociative identity disorder. genetics would be consistent across all personality states, but they could have different traits and voices and clothing,)
certain conditions could also be present at birth, like autism or adhd. i actually have custom traits for these; they’re not perfect, but if you want to google them they might be a good reference. one little thing that i think would be neat is if autistic sims had idle “stimming” animations, like flapping their hands or spinning in a circle. the biggest problem, though, is that autism and adhd are highly variable and i’m not sure how to make it so that not all autistic sims have the same behaviors.
allergies i guess would have to have some sort of severity scale, and be triggered by a sim eating a certain food or petting a certain animal. i’d want the likelihood of a sim developing a particular allergy to be pretty low, but that’s just me lol. maybe sims with allergies could keep meds on hand to deal with the worst of their attacks?
actually, the allergies thing reminds me--diabetic sims! depending on which type, a sim could either be born with it or contract it later in life. i’m not totally familiar with how insulin works, but a sim could have a pump equipped to mitigate their symptoms, or take regular injections.
i have a custom trait in my game for chronically ill sims, which basically makes their energy deplete faster and sometimes gives them moodlets with little blurbs about their illness. this seems like a pretty good system for chronic illnesses, but obv it would vary a lot by which illness your sim has--eg, would you actually animate a sim with ehlers-dahnlos popping a joint out of their socket, or would you just give them an uncomfortable moodlet? in particular, though, i think the mechanic that makes elder sims unable to do most exercise would be great for sims with dysautonomia. 
also, i’ve mentioned some assistive devices already, but i think figuring out how treatment works would be a big deal. do sims have single-payer healthcare, or do they have to pay for everything themselves? can sims crowdfund their medicine? what kind of treatments/cures are available? are their side effects? some conditions don’t have cures irl, but maybe a sim can pay like $30k to a witch to make their fibromyalgia go away!
this is almost definitely more info than you wanted and i’m kinda embarrassed i wrote this much, but uh... here you go, a mostly stream-of-consciousness essay on disabilities in the sims! god i hope it’s readable
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