#chaotic academia
apollos-catharsis · 10 hours
Think of me when the moon’s glow caresses your skin
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fromdarzaitoleeza · 2 days
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But an unquenchable love for you has never left me...
{Quotes: Alejandra Pizarnik, Approximations/Simone de Beauvoir, from Diary of a Philosophy Student: Volume 2, 1928-9; Sunday, October 7/chen chen, nature poem in ‘when i grow up i want to be a list of further possibilities’/sue zhao/ Sylvia path / Maggie Nelson, Bluets/Richard siken/Ingeborg Bachmann, In the Storm of Roses from ‘The Poem for the Reader’, tr. Mark Anderson ,paintings: pinterest}
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tulipsofthemorning · 2 days
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i'll meet you up there where the path runs straight and high
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sirenletters · 7 hours
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soporificsedative · 2 days
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miriam adeney
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alittolatte · 1 day
woke up feeling motivated to be the creator of my own reality and a teeny tiny minor inconvenience happened. my whole day is ruined now. I’m going to need 1-2 business days to recover. tyia.
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why-the-heck-not · 2 days
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23.03.23, thursday 
hi hello welcome to the goblin mode and me not bothering to take a few steps to study at my very messy desk 
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giuliagaltieri · 3 days
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Just Kiss Her Already
Pairing: Eren Jaeger x reader
Synopsis: Craving for academic validation, you find an unexpected challenger who might have hurt your feelings, just a bit.
Word Count: 1724
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Success came easy.
With your sharp wit, even sharper tongue, ambitions reaching the heavens and the drive to make them a reality, and of course your superficial charm that could bring people to their knees.
You are at the top of your game.  You will get that Latin honor you have been striving for since day one of starting at university.
If only it was not for him.
You will never come to understand him, you figured.
Eren Jaeger was the last person you expected to be your rival.
He was irresponsible, lazy, and basically a manifestation of all things negative.
A biased opinion coming from you, of course. 
He is well liked by the professors.  His provocative statements stimulate the class and challenges even your mind.
You hate to admit it, you refuse to admit it.
It also does not help that he is just so nice, you almost feel guilty for making him sound so horrible in the first place.
Your leg bounces as you listen to him give his constructive argument regarding the issue asked by the professor.
You had the same idea in mind, you were just too anxious to speak up earlier, not wanting to embarrass yourself by answering rashly and miss the point.
The professor grins at Eren and the soles of your feet run cold as he jokingly tells the class that you should try to see the agreement through Eren’s perspective as he claims it is one of the best ways to approach the issue at hand.
The disdain was clearly painted on your face and Eren had to suppress a chuckle.
“Does anybody want to add to Mr. Jaeger’s statement?”  Your professor asks, his old wrinkly hands in a clasp.
The entire class falls silent and you reconsider if you should just let Eren have this or-
“Yes, Y/N?”
Your hand is already up in the air before you could even think about backing out again.
“I do have something to say.  But I won’t be adding to Mr. Jaeger’s statement.”  You stand up and face your professor with your usual stone-cold expression.  “I’ll be contradicting it.”
Eren raises a brow, smirk slowly building on his lips.
“You see professor, Mr. Jaeger mentioned how death penalty could not only bring a sense of justice but will also deter crimes but can we really afford it?”
“As I mentioned, that is exactly why the Department of Justice should be challenged to not make justice a luxury that only the rich can afford.”  Eren rolls his eyes.
You turn to him fully.  “But before the suspect could be proved guilty and be subjected under death penalty, it would take lots and lots of trials and those aren’t exactly cheap, the government cannot give all their funds to every case.”
Eren scowls at you, as he mutters.  “Tell that to a little girl who has to suffer from AIDS after being abused.”
The bell ringing through the entire classroom goes unnoticed by you as you are left staring at Eren, wide-eyed and your throat completely dry.  You stand there until all of them has left.  Even the compliment from your professor for providing such objective and practical insights falls on deaf ears.
Eren’s words echo in your head and you bite your thumb as you stare at your computer screen but nothing goes through your head.
You shouldn’t have tried.
Hours passed but you still feel so humiliated, having him destroy your carefully built academic confidence so easily.
You rest your forehead on your palms.
He wasn’t even being impartial.  He was just being emotional.  You made a better point.
But the way he looked at you.  You never wanted to be on the receiving end of it.  Not from him or anyone.  It unnerved you.
You hated having to feel like this.  It feels suffocating.  You were not even defending the criminals!
If he just kept his mouth shut, you could have even added life imprisonment and instead strengthening the laws that are built to support non-bailable cases.
Eren was just being stupid, getting all snappy like that.
It was very uncharacteristic of him to react like that in class.  He was usually very laid-back.  Well, you did see him get in a brutal fight before but he was usually kind, which made him likeable just the tiniest bit.
You huff as you glare at your laptop screen.
He didn’t have to be that mean about it.
Exams were drawing near and your professors were trying to stuff every information in your heads.
You hear your last name being called and you look up from your notebook to look at the sweet old lady, your history teacher, who was smiling at you.
“Uh, yes?”  You ask unsure, your cheeks growing warmer with every passing second.
“I was asking if you have any clarifications.”
Your classmates groan, knowing that they will be kept for another quarter hour.
Sitting up straighter, you then close your notebook and shake your head, a small smile plastered on your lips. 
“No, I’m good.”
Well, that was odd.
The cafeteria was as rambunctious as ever and you let out a sigh of relief when see the last croquette sandwich in the counter.  You speedwalk towards it, avoiding the slow walkers, letting out a few insults under your breath.
Why can’t anything go your way for once?
Your face fall when you watch how ring clad fingers pick up the sandwich.
“Sorry, you just looked so adorable.”  Eren smiles condescendingly, trying to keep himself from laughing.  “So adorable that I just had to steal this from you.”
What was it that made you think he was kind again?
Eren stares at you with his tired looking eyes, daring you to speak up.
But you plaster that same smile again.
“That’s fine.  You can have it.  I’m not that hungry anyway.”  You turn around from him and started walking towards the cafeteria doors.
Now, he’s just being an asshole.
And he knew it too.
He was just teasing you, he wasn’t even going to buy it, just wanted to get a rise from you.
Eren bites his cheek as he watches you disappear behind the cafeteria doors.
He rolls his eyes.
Girls and their hormones.
Eren Jaeger is the resident basketball prodigy and academic extraordinaire, he’s definitely not letting such meaningless encounter get to him.
He will not think about it enough to cost him his beauty rest.  It is definitely not the reason why he wanted to go for a morning jog to clear his head.  It was also 100% not the reason why the coffee he got three minutes ago slipped from his hands just so he could get inside a coffee shop after seeing what’s by the third window to the left.
Eren Jaeger, the unparalleled ladies’ man did not just take a quick look of himself from his reflection on the decorative tin coffee pot by the cashier to see if his manbun was just averagely disheveled. 
Surely, his heart was not pounding in his chest as he casually sat opposite you on your booth as he leaned back and stared off the window, watching the sun slowly spill the colors of wine on the previously dark sky.
“Can I help you?”  You ask, your brows furrowed as you take your headphones off.
He glances at you and to your scattered notes.
“What’s your aesthetic preference?  Chaotic academia?”  He snickers.
You huff, gathering the papers on the table to stack them, muttering a small ‘shut up’.
Eren smiles but no humor finds his eyes.  “What’s wrong with you?”
Shaking your head, you put your headphones back on.  “I have no idea what you’re talking about.  You can stay but please don’t pester me more than you already have.”
There it is.
Eren thanks the waitress who brought his coffee.  He takes a sip and watches how you drag your pen across the paper, leaving a baby pink hue underneath a word.
He clears his throat before setting his cup down on the saucer, making a soft clinking sound.  Your eyes flit to him for a split second.  He hides the smile that almost broke out after confirming that you can still hear him.
“You’ve been awfully quiet in class lately.”
He follows how you bite your lip anxiously, visibly drawing further into yourself, making yourself look small.
“Come on, talk to me.”  He chuckles, trying to make light of the situation but it only comes out as a nervous note.  “This is so unlike you.”
You pretend not to hear him but your leg started bouncing your breath starting to get uneven, something that he cannot overlook.
“Hey.”  Eren stood to sit next to you, almost smothering you.
Warm hands grip your shoulders as your eyes remain staring on the silver chain resting by his chest.
Eren was not certain whether he should continue talking as it may agitate you further but he also cannot bring himself to just sit there and watch you break in cold sweat.
He was almost certain you’d be having a panic attack until you threw him the nastiest glare.
“Hold on a minute, this is all your fault!”
The audacity!
Eren’s perfectly sculpted jaw drops.  “What the fuck?”
He rests his arm on top of the leather seats.  He sits there, taken aback, not being able to keep up with your moods.
You slap away his hand that was on your shoulder still and you pull the headphones off haphazardly, he had to lean back so as to not get accidentally smacked by you.
“If only you hadn’t said it the way you did back in defense, I wouldn’t have overthought and questioned my morality like this!”  You poked his chest, cheeks all puffed as your brows furrowed.
Fuck.  You’re gorgeous.
And in the spur of the moment, in a total state of recklessness as he finds himself trapped and too entangled in everything that is you, he let the words spill from his tongue.
“Are you free tonight?”
You scrunch your nose adorably.  “What, why?”
Eren runs a hand over his face.
You hear a sigh and both look at the waitress who was moping by the table next to you, rolling her eyes at the two of you.
“Just kiss her already.”
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wallflowerjill1 · 2 days
I am not impressed by beauty anymore. It is not difficult or extraordinary to turn someone on. However, if you have the ability to inspire me, if you have the ability to stimulate my mind and stir my thoughts—well, that makes you magic.
~Bianca Sparacino, The Strength In Our Scars.
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bullshitpoetry · 2 days
I am no longer what you made me. I am not cruel or broken or cold.
I refuse to have a haunted heart.
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chillpotato · 2 days
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- Margaret Atwood, from 'Eurydice: Selected Poems 1976-1986'
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myphotodiaries · 3 days
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wed mar 22 - day 33/100
I feel like i’ve been getting a lot done recently while still being able to go out and work on some hobbies :) posting the days of productivity somehow make me feel more motivated. this week i’ve been focusing on studying for spanish and reading some new books >>
📚 - the scarlet letter (nathaniel hawthorne) + strange practice (vivian shaw) + so you want to work in a museum? (tara young)
🎧 - mastermind (taylor swift)
📷 - days 31-33
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eefrostpoetry · 3 days
of all the saddest words you said these were it:   maybe one day
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stem-procrastimate · 2 days
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24. 03. 2023
this picture was taken literally last year in november, I think? I never ended up posting it though, but to be fair I did disappear for a while
Anyways, I missed school 3 times this week so I'm gonna be a bit behind I guess, but that's just another consequence of depression that future me would have to deal with
present me, on the other hand, will study a little and mostly waste her day, yayy
anyways, on to today's to-do list that I do plan on following:
maths- linear equations
html chapters
physics- convex mirror and mirror problems
biology- digestion
that's it, don't have a lot to do, if I'm being honest
🎧: cruel summer by taylor swift |☕
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elfreys · 3 days
yeah i’m totally fine i just need to set myself on fire or jump off a cliff
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yves olade, slaughterhouse
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