#chapter 26

[manga-meow]

[damn-stark]

Chapter 26 Sweet Gojo

Chapter 26 of Sugar

A/N- ITS TIMEEEEE

Warning- Swearing, ANGST, FLUFF, talks of death, cigarettes, spoilers!!, SLOW BURN, heavy pining, NFSW, wrap it before you tap it, kind of rough sex, handjob, long chapter

Pairing- Choso x Gojo!fem-reader, Suguru Geto x Gojo!fem-reader

Takes place during- Chapter 211 of the manga

(Let me know if you want to be tagged)

————

*CHOSO’S P.O.V. A FEW MINUTES LATER*

It can’t be true, it still can’t be true.

The fight with Kenjaku has concluded and he came out victorious, leaving Choso alone to wallow in his denial and disappointment over his loss. And yet you still haven’t woken up, you still haven’t moved a muscle.

Your eyes are still partially open and that glimmer he always saw in your fire-kissed eyes is gone, leaving your eyes dull. Your chest hasn’t moved with the motions of your breath, and you haven’t reacted to anything, not even to call out for your daughter who he has yet to see. But he refuses to accept the cruel truth that would bring forth a bleak darkness within him.

“Y/N,” he keeps pleading and leans closer to your face. “It’s over. It’s all done. You have to wake up now.”

Your head lolls to the side and hangs off the edge of his arm. At first, he thought you were waking up, but you remain incredibly still and quiet, the only thing that moves is the worm-cursed spirit as it slithers off your neck and balls up on the ground, so he then gently cups your cheek and moves your head so he can look into your eyes.

“You’re okay,” he whispers as he brushes his thumb over your cheek. “I’ll just call your doctor friend and you’ll be okay.”

What would life be without you in it? He has Yuji, but he knows that he’ll be an adult soon, he’ll want to live his life, and what brother would he be to refuse him to live it? And it’s true he hasn’t given much thought to his future, but what little he does imagine of it you’re always there, shining like the bright sun. You’re always there with him and his brothers, you’re always there to make him laugh in ways he never knew he could, and you’re always there to give him hope. So life without you would be depressing, glum, and lonely.

Life without you would be like living without the sun, or oxygen itself. He needs you in it. So no you can’t be gone.

“Y/N,” he whispers and waits for a response. When he doesn’t get one he moves on.

“I’m just going to feel your heart, okay?” He asks first because he doesn’t want to startle you or make you uncomfortable.

However, when he brings his palm close to your chest, he suddenly stops and notices that his hand is trembling just a bit, and he’s feeling hesitant. In the back of his head, he knows that he won’t feel the lively rhythm of your heart. Even if a part of him is stubborn to the fact that you’re dead, his subconscious still overpowers him to spare him of the misery he’s about to feel.

But he can’t go on like this, he needs to reassure himself that you’re okay. Even if it's delusion he ignores the reality of this situation and presses his palm against your chest and waits with his breath in his throat.

A second goes by and he feels no thump. Yet he still holds onto hope.

A minute goes by and he refuses to accept that you’re gone, but tears well in his eyes and it starts getting hard to breathe.

Two minutes go by that seem to have been eternal and he can’t help the sob that escapes him as he finally grasps that his father took you away from him and left him without hope.

“Y/N,” he sobs shakily and feels his whole being completely shatter. “Please.”

First his brothers and now you.

“You…” he mewls as he presses his forehead against yours. “You said you’d take us home, remember? Last year, I remember. I remember you, your eyes. I held onto that…So please, we have to go home…”

You stay quiet and your eyes remain lifeless, so he cries again. But this time this sob robs him of his breath and hurts his entire chest.

“Please, please bring her back,” he pleads to whatever higher being that exists as he gently caresses your jaw. “Please come back…please.”

He presses you against him to keep you close and cries into your shoulder until he hears paws pattering on the ground followed by small but quick footsteps approaching him.

“Mommy,” he hears a breathless whisper and freezes for a moment not wanting to show your young daughter your body. But he also can’t shield you from her, so even if it aches him he pulls back and slowly reveals you to Satori; seeing at that moment the tiger-cursed spirit you mentioned, protectively standing in front of her with its eyes piercing in him.

“I’m sorry,” he immediately tries to make her understand as he ignores the protective guardian with her. “Your mother…” his voice quivers. “Your mother is gone.”

Satori whimpers, but refuses the truth and runs over to fall on her knees beside your body.

“Mommy,” she calls out shakily. “Mommy stop playing around.”

Choso slowly puts your body down to give your daughter space.

“Mommy?” She asks for your attention and lets the backgate to Satoru’s prison go to grab your arm and gently shake it in hopes that would make you react. “Mommy!”

Tears stream down her cheeks and she looks over at Choso with fear and pain in her eyes before she looks back at you and shakes you again. “Mommy,” she cries. “Get up. We have to go home and get Uncle Satoru out. Wake up!”

She sees that you keep still so she once again snaps her eyes over to him. “You have to help her,” she interjects helplessly. “You have to restart her heart.”

Choso exhales deeply and has to break her little heart with the truth. “I’m sorry, I can’t. I’m sorry.”

Satori glares at him for a second before her anger falls, and she starts sobbing again before she drops her head on your chest and wraps her arms around your neck, making her guardian wrap its body around her to comfort her as she cries into your chest.

“Mommy,” he hears Satori mumble. “Please don’t leave me alone…”

——

*YOU*

“Y/N.”

It’s dark, but you don’t need to see to recognize that voice. It’s soft, soothing, and not strained.

Can it be?

You peel your eyes open and immediately gasp when you see him…a dream, a hallucination, or actual flesh and bones. Whatever your current state, you don’t give a damn, you’re over the moon and overwhelmed with tears.

“Suguru,” you mewl before you run over the sandy terrain and throw your arms around him to keep him from leaving.

“It’s me,” he whispers just to reassure you considering who’s been possessing his body. “It’s really me.”

But you don’t need it, even wherever you are his calming scent clings onto him. Even after a year of longing for him, you can recognize his gentle embrace that secures the back of your head as if he feared something would happen. You can recognize the sound of his soft breathing as if it were your own. You don’t need him to tell you it’s him, you knew the moment you heard him speak.

“I know,” you let him know. “I know.”

You laugh softly with tears streaming down your cheeks from all the relief, joy, and guilt that rushes through you.

“Suguru,” you whisper so softly and sweetly as if honey oozed with the name. It’s a way you often said it, but it never fails to make his heart skip a beat as he also felt comforted by such simplicity.

“I’m right here,” he doesn’t stop his comfort, “I’m right here my darling.”

Rather than feeling content by the fact that you’re finally hearing him call you that after not hearing it for a year, instead, your guilt begins to agonize you.

“I’m sorry,” you can’t keep in anymore. “I’m so sorry.”

“Hm?”

He pulls back and grabs your tear-stained face to look at you with confusion.

You look into his deep brown eyes, but you can’t look long because you feel shame looking at something that brings you so much joy when you’re so far from deserving it.

“I…couldn’t dispose of your body the proper way, I…couldn’t be a good friend or a good wife, and because of it, everything bad that happened happened because of me. I’m sorry, Suguru.”

Suguru scoffs and tilts your head up so you have no choice but to look into eyes that reflect a beautiful blue sky, and a blue glimmering ocean.

Perhaps you should have asked where you were before, now you’re starting to grow curious as well as upset because Suguru fails to even show a flicker of anger on his beautiful face.

“Don’t apologize for something that’s not your fault. It’s not your fault, y/n.”

He’s not agreeing with you, he’s being honest. If this was in your head he’d agree with you because that’s what you believe and because you want him to blame you.

“But it is,” you argue. “I should have burned your body, I should have given you a proper burial, but—”

“You couldn’t,” he cuts you off. “You went through a tough situation and you couldn’t do it, I understand. Everyone does.”

You shake your head, refusing to comprehend that. “No. It’s not okay. And if it was you, you would have done it, you would have buried me properly, but I…” you stammer and grab his wrists to look at him with a heartbroken look. “I couldn’t. I was weak.”

Suguru sighs and pulls you closer to drill into you what he feels and what he knows. “Stop. Stop doing that. You’re strong because you kept going, darling. You’re strong because even through it all you’re still fighting, and you’re raising our daughter. What ifs don’t matter because they don’t exist, do you understand?” He presses and narrows his eyes.

“I…”

“I don’t blame you. No one does,” he adds softly. “So stop beating yourself up, smile instead, I miss your smile.”

He misses it. As in currently?

So those bloody memories that flash through the back of your head are real? This isn’t some trick or some dream?

You’re dead and this…beautiful tropical paradise is the afterlife…

Oh, Satori…

Choso.

Yuki…

“Suguru,” you whisper breathlessly and get caught up in all you wanted to say.

“He would’ve gotten me one way or another it seems,” he continues to press so he can make you understand, even if it's just a bit. “So please stop…” he trails off and offers you a faint but charming smile. “For me. Do it for me.”

You can’t say he completely changed your mind, your guilt will probably linger for a long time, but you’ll try, for him.

“All right,” you agree.

Suguru grins and leans in to the point his lips graze over yours. “I missed you so much my darling.”

You flash a wobbly grin and show him how much you’ve longed and missed him with a deep and passionate kiss that Suguru doesn’t hesitate or question deepening as he pulls you closer to mesh his lips against yours and pump you with the most pleasurable euphoria. It’s like completing a puzzle that has been missing a single piece for the longest time.

You feel complete…and tingly…

So before you rip his clothes off you pull back, bringing with you a string of his saliva that connects between your lips.

“I…”

You cut him off before the string of saliva can break by pressing a gentle kiss on his bottom lip before you tease him by slowly sucking on his bottom lip. He then pulls back slightly but goes back in for a short open-mouth kiss to satisfy your desire for now.

“I missed you,” you murmur against his lips.

A grin tugs on his lips and you lean towards one of his palms to nuzzle your cheek against his soft touch, making Suguru smile in awe before he wraps one arm around you to hold you close as he kisses your cheek.

“Hey, when are you going to stop being so greedy with her, Geto?”

You lift your eyes to meet his gaze with surprise as you recognize that girly voice and speechlessly question if it’s really her, even if you knew it was. You’re just in disbelief and a bit overwhelmed.

Suguru catches that right away and assures you with a soft smile before he steps back, letting you come face to face with Nanako and Mimiko. Your girls.

“Mimiko, Nanako,” you whisper shakily as happy tears once again cloud your eyes.

“Y/N,” their voices quiver as their lips tremble, and their eyes fill with tears that they thought they could hold back, but at the mere sight of you broke down just like you.

“Oh,” you coo before you break into a sprint and meet each other halfway with a group embrace.

“Oh my, Bunnies,” you cry and hold them both tightly against you to remind yourself of the warmth of their embrace, and show them how much you’ve missed them.

They both then tighten their embrace, but rather than demonstrating their own bliss, they instead express their regret.

“We’re so sorry,” Mimiko cries. “We’re sorry.”

“We shouldn’t have hidden that Kenjaku was in Geto’s body,” Nanako says for her sister. “We should have told you. I’m sorry.”

You pull back immediately and hold their cheeks to press them just like Suguru had pressed you moments ago. “No, you guys thought you were doing the right thing. I just wish I could’ve paid more attention,” you share your own shame. “But don’t blame yourselves all right?”

You offer them a warm smile, and unlike you, they take in what you told them without a fight, so it brings forth a silence you want to fill by saying how much you wish you could’ve seen them grow up and become into the beautiful women they wanted to be. You want to tell them that they were brave and that you wanted them to grow bonds with the other sorcerers like you did with your friends. You want to tell them that there are still so many things left for them to see, but you failed them as a mother to guarantee that future.

However…you don’t want to burden them, or ruin such a peaceful moment, so you admire them for a lingering minute before the sight of your best friend steals your attention.

“Kento,” you call out quietly and take only a step away from the twins as he approaches you with a smile.

He’s smiling with so much happiness behind his eyes. There’s not even tension on his shoulders anymore, he looks relaxed. And it’s sad that only after death can he find peace, but you’re proud that he looks so much more relaxed. It’s a good look on him.

“Itadori said you died,” he breaks his silence.

You laugh softly and manage to not cry this time. “Did you cry for me?” You tease him.

Nanami scoffs. “Does anger count?”

You grin and skip over to him to throw your arms around him. “Yes!”

“You’re stupid by the way,” he doesn’t hold back from saying, making you pout and slide to one side to keep an arm slung around his shoulders—“you almost had him.”

You roll your eyes and groan. “Yeah, but the bastard snuck up on me and actually stabbed me in the back.” You huff.

“Y/N?”

You look over Nanami’s shoulder and stiffen when you see Haibara walking over.

“Haibara,” you greet breathlessly after you’re completely struck with shock. Even though you should’ve suspected it, this is the afterlife.

“Y/N!” He greets with more excitement.

You don’t let Nanami go to be able to pull him with you so he can be a part of your embrace with Haibara.

“It’s been so long!” You point out with glee and step back to show Nanami a playful smirk. “You won’t ever know peace now since we’re all together again.”

Haibara chuckles, and Nanami keeps an arm around you while the other one hangs around Haibara as he flashes you a prideful smirk. “Well, I will know it for a while. Hopefully.”

His eyes fall on you and his grin falls to a hopeful smile. “Don’t you feel it?” He asks.

You blink in confusion and part your lips to ask what he means but then the sound of a different voice interrupts you.

“Damn it!”

You slide your arms off your friends and turn to face the newcomer. And that's when you come to realize that much to your surprise you see Yuki.

“Tsukumo?” Nanako points out with just as much shock as you.

“Huh?” Said woman queries and snaps her head up. When she sees Nanako, her eyes then dart to everyone on the beach and lastly fall on you before she groans. “I am dead.”

You scoff and shoot her an annoyed look. “Hello to you too,” you remark.

Yuki shoots you a pointed look and quips. “What are you still doing here? Choso pulled the knife out of you, you can still live—no, you will live.”

Is that it then? Is that what Nanami was referring to?

Is that why you’ve been feeling like something has been tugging at your soul?

Since there's so much going on, and so many different emotions have overwhelmed you, you’ve brushed it aside, but now that you can organize your thoughts and feelings, you can no longer hide that pull trying to take you back to life.

However, right now as you look at Yuki a few feet away from you you ignore that pull to rush over to her and press her for details. “Yuki—”

“Don’t cry,” she abruptly cuts you off as she sees how red your eyes are, and how much they glisten as more tears fill them. “I mean I do want you to cry for me, but not right now. Right now,” she pronouncatates that word with aggression. “You go back and fight that fucking bastard. You and everyone else have to kill him. You have to kill him in my honor.”

How could she be so ignorant of your grief? She was your master, your most trusted friend. She was like a big sister. How can she tell you not to cry or grieve for her?

“You’re being mean and selfish.” You argue, making her roll her eyes and grab your arms to make herself known.

“You can grieve after, for however long you want, but when you get back, you kill him, or plan to. Whatever it is, just don’t let him get what he wants. Do you understand? I am leaving you with that last mission.”

You take in a deep breath to counter, but she’s right and you can’t fight that. So instead you bite your tongue and offer her a soft smile. “All right.”

Yuki lets out a deep sigh and this time she hugs you first. It’s usually you who initiates the embrace, but this time she’s the one who threw her arms around you first.

“You were a great student and even better friend,” she whispers and lets you hear the tear in her nonchalance. “Look out for Aoi, hm?”

No matter how much you try to fight it, your emotions get the better of you and tears come out. “I will,” you assure her. “I will master…I…you were special to me. I love you.”

Yuki laughs softly and holds the back of your head as she presses you against her. “I love you too. Now,” she grows quieter and pulls back. “You take care of that little girl. Don’t let her forget me.”

You laugh and shake your head. “Never,” you whisper.

“And…always keep your heart.” She says one last time, causing tears to well in her eyes.

And this time instead of holding back she lets them break out before she pulls you back and whispers in your ear. “Be happy. You deserve it.”

You clutch onto her and wish to hold onto her forever, or at least pull her back with you so you can always have someone to turn to when you’re facing problems only a mentor can help with. You don’t even want to think about the impossibility of her going back…but you have to face reality.

“Now I know you don’t want to waste what remains of your time here with me, so, my dear y/n this is goodbye for now,” she cuts the moment short and pulls away because she knew it’d be hard for you. “I’ll kill you twice if I see you here soon.”

You chuckle through your tears and let your gaze linger on her for a moment longer before you offer her one last smile and turn.

Only when you turn around you’re welcomed by the beautiful sight of Suguru and the twins smiling at a baby in his arms. Which only makes you fight against leaving to stay here forever.

You don’t want to leave them or your friends. You don’t want to go back and risk feeling loss again. You want to be at peace at this beach afterlife with Suguru, the twins, and…your baby, that’s who it is. The baby you never got to hold….

But…how can you leave Satori behind when you have a chance to go back to her? She doesn’t deserve to grow up an orphan because you want to be selfish and live in paradise. You can't let her grow up without you, at least not now or anytime soon, she still needs you…

Thus after a deep breath, you slowly walk over and join the twins, Suguru, and the baby. “Suguru?”

Said man turns around and you gasp as you see the baby in his arms with short but thick black hair like his, with eyes like yours—or the color you used to have before they changed. And a goofy little smile as his eyes brighten when he sees you.

“Kiyoshi,” he reveals the baby to be a boy. “That’s what the twins and I picked.”

You smile with tears prickling in your eyes, and touch your chest as you feel your heart ache with pure bliss. “Can…I hold him?” You ask as you meet Suguru’s gaze.

“Of course,” he scoffs and carefully hands you the little bundle.

“Oh,” you coo shakily. “Look at you. You look like your daddy. You’re so beautiful,” you fight your tears so he doesn’t see you cry and caress his chubby cheek, making the baby coo and reach his tiny little hand to grab your finger.

“It’s almost time,” you share hesitantly at him, Suguru, and the twins. “I’m not here to stay. I’m sorry,” your voice quivers as you look up.

Nanako and Mimiko then share a look before Mimiko cuts in for the both of them. “Good, if you have a chance, take it, and come back later.”

You don’t know whether to cry or smile over how mature and understanding she sounds.

Maybe both?

“If that’s what you want,” you whisper.

Nanako scoffs. “No, we want you here with us, but…it’s not your time yet, so.”

You smile at them and hide your tears when you give them one last tight embrace. And now since you can see a hue taking over everything you see, and feel a harder pull on your soul, you know time is desperate to take you back, so you turn to Suguru one more time and grin at him with a soft and adoring look.

“Y/N,” he whispers as he steps forward and caresses cheek.

“Hm?” You probe and nuzzle your cheek against his palm as you lift your baby and press him against your chest to feel his little heartbeat against your chest at least one time.

“You know that there’s nothing that can be done about what we have done,” he interjects, making you open your eyes but stay mere inches away from him.

“Yes, I know,” you let him know you understand.

Suguru sighs. “Then what’s wrong?” He asks, making your heart nervously skip a beat.

“What do you mean?” You feign a breathless laugh.

“You know what I mean. I told you to be happy. Why are you running away from that? I can’t go back. Unless…you regret what we did.”

You look at him as if he offended you. “No, I don’t. We fought for our cause, for our goal,” you clarify. “A goal that means nothing without you…” you trail off and a small smile tugs on his face.

“Then?” He presses and grabs your face. “What’s wrong?”

You let out a shaky sigh and glance down at the baby Kiyoshi falling asleep on your chest. “I've done bad things, things I don’t regret. But that’s why I don’t deserve good things. I don’t deserve a second chance. I don't.”

Suguru lets out a deep breath and an assuring smile tugs on his face making you grow a bit confused, but you don’t question him, you let him interject.

“You just feel remorse, that’s it. That’s the difference between you and me. That’s makes you worthy of good things.”

You laugh softly and look at him to shake your head. “You’re biased,” you retort.

He chuckles and nods. “Yeah, I am because I love you and because you are the love of my life.”

Your breath gets caught in your throat, and your smile softens as you look at him with awe.

“I’m sorry I never got to tell you when I was alive,” he says.

“You said it now that’s all that matters,” you assure him before you lean in to tease him. “Are you saying it because you're jealous?”

Suguru averts his gaze and shrugs. “Just a bit,” he tries to act cool. “But,” he says and looks back at you with a charming smile. “I'm saying it because I also mean it. That’s why I want you to be happy, baby. I want our daughter to see you be happy. You deserve a second chance.”

How could you argue with him now? With all these nice things he just said. With things that probably hurt him a little to say. Besides, you can’t really argue now after you were hit with that realization when you thought Choso died. You just needed a push and Suguru was that much-needed motivation.

“I understand,” you let him know before you grab his face with one hand and offer him a last smile as everything around you is beginning to fade away. A soft smile that he mirrors and that lets him know that you will always love him and no matter how much time passes you will never forget him or the life you shared.

“Here,” you whisper and hand back Kiyoshi. “Take care of him for me please.”

Suguru’s eyes fill with tears and he looks more sad than comforting now. “Tell Satori I love her, and I will always look out for her.”

You nod. “Of course, I’ll tell her.”

“I love you,” he reminds you softly. “I always will.”

You wrap your arms around his neck and lean down to press one kiss on Kiyoshi’s head. “I love you my little one.” You then tilt your head up and nuzzle your head on Suguru’s chest. “I love you,” you whisper and hold onto his warmth tightly.

He presses one last kiss on the top of your head and tightens his hold around you, letting you feel only the comfort of his strong arms wrapped around you and the softness of his hair draping over your shoulder until…there’s a cold breeze brushing over your face, stars painting the dark sky overhead, a weight on your chest, and hair…in your mouth.

You’re alive and as you lower your gaze you see Satori draped around you.

She’s okay, and so are you!

“Satori,” your voice sounds hoarse and quiet. “Your hair is in my mouth.”

The little girl shoots up and looks at you bewildered, so you quickly offer her a comforting smile before you sit up and groan as your body feels sore.

“Y/N,” you hear Choso murmur.

You look at your other side and see him with his eyes widened and watery as well.

You had an assumption that he didn’t die, but still seeing him in the flesh with a working heart actually makes you feel relieved. Before you felt comforted by the fact that he wasn’t killed, but you were so worried about him because the fight hadn’t ended. Now that it is, you can breathe properly again.

“Mommy!” Satori exclaims once her surprise passes and throws herself on you to pull you into an embrace. “I thought you left me. I was so scared.”

You cup the back of her head to secure her against you before you leave a small kiss on the side of her head. “I’m sorry, my little love. But I’m here now because Choso saved me,” you let her know. “I’m here.”

Satori lets out a deep shaky breath and pulls back, letting you caress her cheek.

“Never do that again,” she scolds you with tears streaming down her cheeks and a shaky pout.

You laugh softly. “I will try not to.”

Satori nods in comprehension with such an aching look in her eyes, as if she still couldn’t get past the shock that you were actually alive.

“Oh my girl,” you coo and wipe away her tears. “I’m okay. I’m here, breathing. We can go home together now. How does that sound?”

“Good,” she mumbles as she rubs her eyes. “I’m tired.”

“Hm. Yeah, I bet…let me just do one more thing,” you trail off and turn to look at Choso, but he’s already on his feet, so you quickly get up and face him with a soft and relieved smile.

When he meets your gaze though his breath hitches and he slowly parts his lips as if to say something, but he adds nothing.

“Are you okay?” You ask and avoid checking him out because he’s still shirtless, and still very much tempting.

Choso nods speechlessly and finally manages to study you carefully to make sure you’re real and not a dream his head is making up to be cruel to his heart.

“Good,” you whisper and step closer to wrap your arms around him and just let yourself have that last piece of reassurance.

He, however, doesn’t return the embrace at that instant, he’s stiff. For a moment he’s stiff and still in disbelief until he feels the beating of your heart against his own flesh and finally breathes. He’s finally able to breathe as he assures himself that you’re in fact here.

“Your heart’s beating,” he muses breathlessly and gently presses his palms on your arms before he slowly wraps his arms around you and tightens his embrace as if afraid you’d somehow disappear.

“Yeah,” you laugh softly. “I hope so.”

Choso chuckles and digs his head in the crook of your neck, catching you off guard but not making you dislike it. You relish in the feeling of his lips against your skin, and the feeling of his arms holding you tightly against him in such a way that makes you feel safe and only his.

“You’re okay,” you whisper and can’t help but find comfort in the crook of his neck. “You scared me. I thought you died.”

Choso’s hold falters and you hear a soft gasp before you feel his lips turn to a smile. “I’m sorry,” he of course says.

“No,” you correct him. “Don’t apologize, I’m just saying. I’m happy you’re not.”

You pull back but keep your hands on his biceps, and fight the need to look down at his toned chest only inches away from you.

However, you fill your temptation by glancing at his lips. Which isn’t a good alternative because more than ever before you just want to kiss him.

“We’ll get you to your friend so she can check on you, make sure you’re okay. Or just heal you just in case,” Choso interjects while his own eyes flicker down to your lips.

“Choso,” you try to argue. “I'm okay. I'm healing now.”

He narrows his eyes and shakes his head. “But you’re weak right now, you won’t get back to your full strength anytime soon. And what Kenjaku did was heavy on your body. You died, y/n. I’ll feel better if she helps you too.”

Your heart begins to race and his concern makes your face red and only feel a heightened need to just kiss him. But you don’t, you just give in since he actually might be right. “Fine, but why don’t we go home first? We need to eat, take a shower, change, and sleep. We can go in the afternoon.”

Choso parts his lips to argue, but you assure him. “And if I feel even one ounce of pain I’ll call her. Yes?”

He scoffs but nods in agreement, making you smile and rub his shoulders before you pull away and turn to face your daughter who’s watching you and Choso with a narrowed look.

“Can we go home now?” She sasses you.

You scoff softly and nod. “Yeah.”

“Yay, I’ll finally get to see Nanako and Mimiko.”

Damn it…

Fuck….

Now you have to go from one disaster to another. And it’s not like you can go on hiding the fact that her sisters are dead, you can’t let her go home expecting to see people that will never go home. Plus you can’t hide it anymore.

Oh, but the thought of telling her hurts you.

“Satori, listen to me,” you interject and walk over to her to crouch down to be at her level. “Baby I have something to tell you.”

Satori looks unfazed since she’s unaware. Which only makes this harder.

“Satori…” you pause and lick your lips before you have to go on. “Nanako, Mimiko, Uncle Kento, and Belinda…” you pause and swallow thickly. “They’re gone. They’re dead,” you outright say it so she doesn’t find some way around it, so she understands fully what you mean.

“But…” she whispers and blinks repeatedly in disbelief. “But…”

She looks around at the ground with her eyes quickly filling with tears, and you feel her body stiffen in your hold.

You wait for what she has to say before you comfort her since it seems she’s building up to it, but she stays quiet and keeps her head down.

“Satori,” you interject softly now and tilt your head down to look at her face. “Talk to me.”

Satori lifts her head and you fully see how distraught she looks now. She can’t even speak, her body shakes as she cries, so you immediately comfort her with an embrace.

“I know my love, I know.” You coo and caress the back of her head.

Yet she doesn’t hug you back, she stays in your embrace for a moment before she pulls back forcefully and looks at you with her eyebrows furrowed.

“Satori—”

“This is all your fault!” She cries out, catching you by surprise. “First…first Daddy, and now all of them. This is all your fault! I…I just want my daddy!”

Regardless of what she threw at you, you try to reach over for her, but she pushes you back and storms away, making her cursed spirit guardian follow after her, and leaving you in complete disarray.

“Y/N,” Choso inputs right away.

You try your best not to break into tears and defend Satori whilst also reassuring yourself. “She’s just processing.”

Choso steps towards you and reaches over to grab your shoulder. “That’s right,” he assures you softly. “She didn’t mean it.”

Your bottom lip trembles as you nod in comprehension. “I know.”

Choso holds your gaze and repeats himself. “She didn’t mean it.”

You slip and have to question him. “And what if it is? What if she’s right?”

“But it’s not, you couldn’t have stopped anything that happened. It’s like you said she’s just…trying to understand what’s happening. It’s not your fault,” he insists.

You hold your hands together as you have a hard time believing him, so he doesn’t go on this time, he gets close and whispers. “Can I hug you?”

You nod and he carefully wraps you in an embrace that you melt into as if it’s something he always gave you.

“Choso,” you whisper shakily.

Choso’s hold falters at the way you utter his name, but he doesn’t let go, he keeps you in his embrace until you pull back. “Thank you, Choso. I just need a minute now, I don't want her to see me cry. I don’t want her to feel bad. We can go then, I'm sorry.”

Choso shakes his head and is, of course, understanding. “That’s fine.”

He steps back, and you stay where you are and watch him walk away before you quietly cry into your hand to let it all out before you have to go back to Satori.

You know she didn’t mean it—or she partially meant it but, you still don’t want her to feel bad for expressing her grief, so you just shed a few more tears before you wipe your face and take a deep breath.

In that moment your worm-cursed spirit crawls over to you, so in your wait for your face to clear up from all your tears, you pick it up and sigh. “I wish Suguru was here,” you have to share even if it’s to a cursed spirit. “He’d know what to say to her.”

The Worm crawls on your arm and hangs itself over your shoulders, leaving you to look at the stars in the sky and just take a few more minutes to yourself before you think you’re good enough to rejoin your daughter.

And when you do find her you notice Choso talking to her, so as to be a little nosy and not make them stop mid conversation you just get close enough to hear.

“…I don’t have many memories with them but I cherish the happy ones we made. Don’t you have happy memories with the people you lost?”

He’s talking about his brothers…

“Yes,” she mumbles. “A lot.”

A faint smile tugs on his lips and he looks over at her as she looks down at the ground. “Then cherish those,” he tells her. “Whenever you miss them you think of those memories.”

“But I want them here,” she argues as she holds onto the prison realm's backgate close to her chest. “I don’t want them in my head.”

Choso sighs. “They’re always with you. Not physically, but they are always with you. In your heart.”

Satori lifts her head and wipes her eyes. “I’m sorry for being mean to you,” she says, making him blink in surprise. “You’re nice.”

You smile in awe and choose to come out of hiding now.

“That’s fine, Satori,” he assures her, bringing a smile to her face before they both see you now.

“Mother,” Satori whispers with a long frown on her face before she runs over and hugs you. “I’m sorry. I didn't mean it.”

You crouch down and grab her shoulders. “I know, baby. You’re just sad, it’s normal.”

Satori's eyes glimmer with unshed tears as she fights so hard to hold them back. “You won’t leave me now will you?” She asks. “I don’t want to be alone.”

You scoff and shake your head. “I’ll fight so hard for you, okay? There’s still battles we have to fight but I will fight so hard to stay with you. Okay?”

Satori exhales shakily and nods softly. “Okay.”

You offer her a sweet smile and hold her cheeks to share something that will make her happy. “I saw your dad when I was…dead.” You laugh, and her attention gets piqued.

“He told me to tell you that loves you, and that he will always look out for you,” you finish sharing.

Satori smiles while happy tears also roll down her cheek, making you comfort her with a hug and sweet praise of your own. “You did good today Satori. Your father would be so proud. I know I am.”

“You did good to Mama,” she redirects sweetly, making you grin at her before you smirk mischievously.

“I want to show you something before we leave,” you change the subject. “It’s close by, it won’t take long.”

Before she can answer, you get up and grab her hand to rush over to the tree by the pond you would train close to, where you’d hang out at with Suguru and the others. Your special tree that is forever marked with the love Suguru and you shared.

You’ve told Satori about it a couple of times, but she doesn’t seem to recall, or probably care like you do.

“Look at that,” you exclaim happily as if you aren’t exhausted.

“A tree?” She sasses you.

You reach the tree and brush your hand over the engraved heart holding the initials of Suguru and you. “A tree your dad and I marked when we started dating.”

Satori hears the context and finally shows interest.

“Now that we have you, your initial can go on there too,” you let her know, causing her eyes to widen and her lips to tug to a grin.

“I wanna do it! I wanna do it!” She jumps up and down before she runs over to finally look at the carved memory.

“Go ahead,” you encourage her and make the Worm-cursed spirit turn small to put it away and pick Satori up so she can reach the markings. “Just your first initial.”

Satori shoves the backgate in your other hand to be able to use her cursed energy to summon a dagger to use to sloppily carve her initial under yours and Suguru’s.

“After we made this your Uncle Kento and Shoko caught us kissing,” you tell her as she concentrates. “We were so scared that they’d tell Satoru, but,” you muse as you think back to that day. “They kept it a secret.”

“Done,” she ignores you and looks at you proudly. “Now do I put Nanako and Mimiko’s initials too?” She queries.

You swallow back your sorrow and nod. “Of course.”

Satori grins and goes back to doing as she said, making you watch in an emotional silence as you fight hard through to not cry.

Once she’s done all you can think about is that 11 years ago you never expected to have this life, or share children with Suguru. You wanted forever, but you were young too, you knew sometimes things didn’t work out. But after you’ve shared half of your lifetime with him you wouldn't want it any other way, he’s gone and so are the twins, but you’re happy—no, honored, to have had this life with him and shared three amazing daughters with him.

“Now it’s complete,” you tell Satori as you brush the access bark off the tree.

Satori lets you carry her and lays her head on your shoulder whilst she wraps her arm around your neck.

“Now that will show what your love gave you…me,” Satori says, making you laugh.

“Yeah,” you agree and leave a kiss on the side of her head before you turn away from the tree. “Now, why don’t we go home?”

“Yes please.”

You share a breathless laugh before you descend the hill and find Choso patiently waiting for you.

“Sorry,” you interject. “Just needed to do one last thing. But we can go home now.”

Albeit when you get home. When you’re in front of that door you hesitate to even grab the doorknob because you know Nanako and Mimiko won’t be there to greet you. Nor will Belinda. You’ll walk into an empty house with only the memory of them haunting every corridor.

But you can’t stay out here forever, nor can you make Satori and Choso wait, so you push your grief aside with a deep breath and grab the doorknob to open the door and walk into your estranged house.

——

*LATER THAT DAY*

“I’m going to tell you the truth…you healed fine.”

You roll your eyes at Shoko, and even if you weren’t very concerned you finally manage to drop your shoulders to ease up.

“You are in no shape to fight though,” she adds as she slips her gloves off her hands. “Take it easy for a couple of days until your cursed technique is fully recovered, or,” she scoffs. “You’ll die this time.” She throws the used gloves at your head and you rub your head as if it hurt.

“Well,” you mess around. “I did die. I actually died that time. In Shibuya it was different, there was a four-minute window and I used that to focus on healing, this time…” you pause and sigh deeply. “My heart stopped, I saw the light,” you laugh breathlessly. “I saw him.”

Shoko stops walking and looks at you with slight curiosity.

“I saw Haibara and Nanami too.” You smile in admiration. “I didn’t talk with them for too long, but It was nice seeing them again. I miss them.”

Shoko leans back against the counter and whispers. “Yeah me too.”

You drop your head and shamefully admit a truth that’s been stuck in the back of your head since you came back from the dead. “I was at peace, you know…even if I knew my daughter was here all alone, for a single moment, a lingering moment I wished I could stay dead to be with all of them without having to be here.”

A moment of silence passes as Shoko ponders your confession before she queries. “What changed your mind?”

“Satori,” you put it simply. “I didn’t want to leave her an orphan. If she wasn’t here I wouldn't have let myself come back.”

“No?”

You swallow thickly and shake your head. “No.”

“Well,” Shoko breathes in and walks over to the gurney you’re on. “I’m thankful for her then.”

You look over at her and smile. “It’s not that I didn’t want to come back to you, I just—”

“Don’t worry, wouldn't anyone choose peace over suffering?” She cuts you off to assure you. “Especially in a time like now.”

You look at your hands with a pitiful frown after having to admit that and having to hear her response. Which you have to say you admire her for, after such a hard life, after you were estranged, she’s still understanding.

“Whatever the case,” she adds and lifts her head to peer over at you. “I’m glad you chose to come back to the living.”

You beam at her and can't help but throw your arms around her neck and rest your head on her shoulder, letting her lay her head on your head.

“How have you been Shoko? After all that’s happened here?” You have to ask her.

“Well,” she scoffs. “Besides starting to smoke like a pack a day…”

Is she being sarcastic?

You hope that she is.

“…the work is a bit heavier with all these students fighting, but it’s been…quiet without Satoru. I mean I’ve been seeing Utahime a lot more, but I would see Satoru a lot more often, so…I miss him.”

You laugh and she joins you with a quieter laugh.

“And when he’s here we’re going to wish there was some way to shut him up,” you comment with a smirk.

“Yeah,” she sighs and lifts her arm to hold your arm. “I mean what will he say about you and the Cursed womb?”

“Choso,” you correct her without thinking and only then realize what she's trying to hint at. “And I don’t know what you’re talking about. He’s my friend.”

Shoko peers back with a side eye and parts her lips to retort, but you pull away and slide off the gurney. “Who’s apartment complex is this anyway?” You try to avoid her insinuation that she’s of course right about. She wouldn’t be your best friend if she wasn’t. “It’s huge.”

“Y/N,” she presses sharply.

You walk to the door and peek back with a smirk before you walk out of her temporary office, making her follow after you to try and get the gossip. Which she’s gotten a portion of in your talks on the phone, but she's good either way, she sees the tension you hide beneath the surface.

“You’re 28 now you know that? He can’t say anything,” she tries to persuade you to just give into what your heart wants. “And he practically confessed.”

“Practically and actually is not the same thing,” you remark and pick up your pace, but she only picks up hers to fall beside you. “Careful you’ll cough up a lung if you run any faster.” You taunt her.

Shoko rolls her eyes and counters. “We’re in the same situation. You have a pack in your coat pocket.”

You drift your gaze to her but you can’t argue with that.

“Kira!” You exclaim as you see them helping Satori with some arts and crafts project.

“You can’t ignore me,” Shoko throws at you. “And you won’t avoid him either.”

You spare her a glance and smirk. “Who?” You joke.

“Cute.”

“I know.”

“Master!” Kira exclaims and steals your attention.

“Kira!” You laugh with joy before you jog over and meet them halfway where they greet you by jumping on you to trap you in an embrace.

“You’re alive!” They say with an excited laugh.

You put them down and argue. “I told you I was alive.”

They scoff. “Yeah, and I didn’t believe it until now. You could’ve been part of the undead, or worse you could’ve come back with stitches on your forehead.”

You gasp in horror. “That would’ve been worse than death. Good thing it’s me.”

Kirara grins. “Yeah, good thing.”

You glance around for the person they’re usually stuck to the hip with. “Where’s Kinji? I thought he’d be here?”

Kirara sighs. “He’s out with Panda. Everyone probably won't come back until later.”

You pout. You really wanted to meet all the new sorcerers that joined the students' side. Especially the cute lawyer Shoko mentioned.

“Oh yeah, Shoko mentioned Itadori, Fushiguro, and that angel person were out…well,” you groan. “I guess I’ll meet everyone tomorrow.”

For now, you’ll just fill in the people that are here about what happened earlier

When they all gather up that is.

“Shouldn’t you be home, master? Resting?” They worry about you.

You head toward the living room with Kirara trailing at your side. “As long as I give my technique and my body a break I’ll be fine. Besides, there's so much to do. Oh and,” you clap your hands. “After I have given my body a break I would like to train with you and Kin. I don’t know when we’ll fight Kenjaku again, but I’m certain it’ll be soon after we get Satoru out. And I know you guys are strong, but still, the more prepared you are the better.”

Kirara's eyes brighten. “Right on!” They exclaim and hook their arm around yours. “I like the sound of that. And I know Kin won’t mind.”

You offer them a relieved smile, but that only lasts for a moment because you then catch Choso on the couch hunched over with his head down.

“He’s been like that since I got here,” Kirara whispers in your ear.

“Choso,” you call out and walk away from Kirara's grasp to approach him with growing concern. “What’s wrong? Are you okay?”

Choso lifts his head and you notice how distraught he looks now since the last time you saw him, which wasn’t long ago. And yeah, ever since you left the school at night you noticed that his relief for you coming back to life slowly began to fade to anger and despair. In the morning he looked even more down, but he brushed you off when you tried to ask him.

You won’t let him do that now.

“You can tell me,” you try to assure him before you sit closely by his side.

“It’s just…how could I let Noritoshi Kamo live?” He finally shares with tears prickling in the corner of his eyes. “After what he did to you, after we had him there in our grasp, how could I let him go? I let my brothers down, I was too weak.”

You sigh deeply and gently rest your hand on his back to rub it for comfort. “Choso, you can't beat yourself up. It wasn’t just you who lost, I did too. The blame goes to the both of us. And it’s not like we have the experience he does, he has centuries of experience over us. He outsmarted us and that’s okay.”

Choso shakes his head. “No, it isn’t. I promised my brothers I'd kill him. He killed you. I should’ve killed him.”

You offer him a gentle smile and lean closer towards him. “Cho, I’m alive. And you’re alive. You would have failed your brothers if you had died and let him live,” you admit, making him look at you with slight surprise—“but you didn’t. You’re here to live another day. You’re here to plan and fight another day.”

Choso sits up and even if you don't see him convinced he still offers you a soft smile to let you know what you said made him feel better.

“Y/N,” Kirara cuts in, making both Choso and you look over at them.

“Hm?” You probe.

They part their lips and quietly ask the question you dreaded answering, only because of the weight it adds to your aching heart. “What happened to Tsukumo?”

You and Choso share a knowing look before you look back at Kirara with a sorrowful frown. “Yuki gave her life fighting Kenjaku.”

Kirara falls quiet and shocked. After all, how could one of the strongest fall to the hands of Kenjaku?

But that’s it isn’t it? You all went to fight him blind, thinking that he didn’t have plans upon plans after all his years of living. He outsmarted all of you and Yuki died because of it, but it’s because of this fight, because of her sacrifice that you know more about how he fights and what technique he hides up his sleeve.

“I’m sorry,” Kirara directs at you with pity. “I know what she meant to you.”

You swallow thickly and manage a faint smile. “Thank you, Kira.”

They offer you a soft nod before they choose to stay in the living room and sit close by you as if trying to keep an eye out on you and the man next to you.

“Y/N, what did your friend say? Is your heart fine?” Choso finally gets to check on you after nagging you all morning about coming to see her earlier before you what? Just dropped dead or disintegrated?

“She’s fine,” Shoko interjects, making you slide your hand off Choso’s back so she won’t tease you about it.

“I hear I have you to thank for that.” She smiles. “Thank you for saving my dearest friend.”

Choso smiles at you and then directs it at her. “Of course. Always.”

You avert her gaze and hide your face so she won’t somehow see your face getting all warm.

“Just make sure she doesn’t use her technique and takes it easy for a couple of days,” Shoko tells him, and will only make him more overbearing.

“I'm not a child,” you remark and face her with a pointed look.

“No, but you sometimes act like it and you won’t listen to me.”

You part your lips but you can’t argue because it’s true.

“Well, I wasn’t planning on doing anything. I’m planning to hang out at home and be with my animals,” you argue as if that won you any points. “So.”

“So, you still like to train with your kids.”

“She did just say she wanted to train,” Kirara sells you out.

“Ha,” you feign a dry laugh and snap your eyes over to them to shoot them a glare before you shake your head at Shoko. “Not soon of course. After we get Satoru out.”

“Hm,” Shoko hums with her lips pursed.

You mirror her look and hum back. Soon thereafter nevertheless finally the other sorcerers that are here finally join you to hear the intel.

“Kusakabe!” You greet him with a charming smile.

Said man greets you with a frown and an annoyed look.

“Whatever you have to say Gojo, say it.”

You begin to tease him cheekily. “So bitter. Whatever for? I’ve only been nice to you.”

Unbeknownst to you Choso sits up straighter and narrows his gaze as watches your interaction with your fellow sorcerer.

“You know what for,” Kusakabe quips.

You huff lightheartedly and nod in comprehension. “Well then…” you drag out and sit back. “Did you guys know I’m the interim clan leader for the Gojo clan?” You don’t dive in just yet for the fun of it. “My brother changed his will to leave my daughter as his successor for all the Gojo riches and the title of leader. And since she’s too young to lead, it falls to me for the time being.” You show off proudly.

“What does that have to do with us?” Kusakabe immediately remarks.

You shrug. “Just wanted to share it. And say I might go terrorize my family before we let Satoru out. Might give my father an aneurysm or simply sit in the throne room.”

“You have a throne room?!” Kirara quickly asks.

You smirk. “Oh yeah.”

It’s not extravagant like a royal throne room, but it does have a special seat at the end of the room dedicated for the clan leader to sit on, so you call it a throne room.

“Just get on with it, Gojo. We don’t have all day,” Kusakabe cuts in annoyed.

You laugh softly and nod. “All right. All right. Let’s start.”

——

*LATER*

“….he flew over the canal and saw three beautiful swans. As he landed, the ugly duckling saw himself in the water. He was not an ugly duckling at all. He was a beautiful white swan! “Come with us.” Said the other swans…And he did...the end.”

“That’s my favorite story,” Satori mumbles tiredly.

You close the book and smile. “So was last night's story.”

Satori laughs softly. “Well, I like almost all of them.”

You grin and reach in your pocket to pull out the glass swan figurine Choso had given you. “Look at that,” you show off to Satori. “A little swan.”

Satori gasps softly and lifts her head off her pillow. “Ah, that’s so cute! Can I have it?”

You snicker and shake your head. “No. It’s mine, Choso gave it to me. You can hold it though.”

Satori reaches over and takes the figurine from your hand to study it closer. “The color reminds me of your eyes.” She points out. “Hey, you know I made something for him because he saved me.”

You smile in awe and probe. “Really? What is it?”

“You have to wait to see it,” she teases you. “I was going to make him a purple scarf since he wears that neck thing, but I wouldn’t have enough time,” she rambles as she fiddles with the glass swan. “So instead I made him something else. Kira helped me. And I was going to give it to him when we got home today, but I got shy, so could you help me do it tomorrow?” She asks and looks up at you.

You tuck loose strands of hair in her braid and nod. “Yeah, I can. And that’s very nice of you, I’m sure he’ll love it.”

Satori smiles proudly and gives you back your glass swan. “Okay, well I’m tired now. Can we talk tomorrow?”

You giggle and nod. “Of course my little love. Did you say goodnight to your daddy and your sisters?”

“Of course!”

“Good,” you whisper and press a last kiss on her forehead before you get off her bed and turn off her lamp. “Goodnight, Chipmunk.”

Satori yawns and mutters. “Goodnight, Mommy. And you know if you get lonely you can come sleep in my room.”

You grab your chest in awe and whisper as you head out. “I will keep it in mind, thank you.”

When you walk out of the room her Tiger cursed-spirit jumps on the bed to sleep with her. Which is annoying, but whatever. You digress.

Now perhaps you can get some sleep. You hardly slept last night, you were in your head so much that it got hard to sleep with all your thinking, but tonight you will, you’ll get all 8 hours—

Wait…

You come across the staircase and see that the light from one of the patios is reflecting inside. You must’ve left it on earlier.

Shit. Now you have to walk down there in the dark…

You’ll make it fast.

You put the book you have in your hand down on a nearby table, and then run down the staircase. When you reach the hall you ignore looking at the shadows and solely focus on the porch.

Albeit just as you’re going to turn the light off you see that Choso is using it as he sits outside with his head down. Once again. So it must be about the same thing as before…

And if it is you can’t just let him dwell in it alone. He’s not the only one to blame. If there’s blame to even spread in the first place.

Regardless, you slowly slide the door open and make yourself known.

“Y/N,” he whispers when he sees you. “I’m sorry, does the light bother you?”

You laugh softly and close the door before you sit on the bench he’s on. “No. Of course not. I just thought I had left it on, but you’re here…with your head down. Are you okay?”

Choso sighs and hesitates burdening you, but he also couldn't talk to anyone else. Plus, he does confide in you, so he chooses to answer honestly. “I just can’t get over the battle.”

You exhale deeply and grab onto the edge of the seat to lean forward and look at him with the softest assuring look you can give him. “Is it about Yuki? Or your father?”

“I didn’t know Tsukumo long,” he says. “I feel bad that she died because of my father, but I’m more mad at him because he didn’t die, but it’s not about her. I’m sorry.”

You shake your head. “It’s okay. I understand.”

“She was nice,” he adds to defend his case. “I’m sure she would’ve been a good friend if she lived longer, but…she didn’t because of Noritoshi.”

You stay quiet and let him continue.

“I failed them y/n. My brothers,” his voice quivers. “I couldn’t kill him and I let him get away! That was our chance and I couldn’t stop him.”

“Choso,” you sigh with pity. “If you’re looking for blame then you need to blame me too.”

Choso blinks in disbelief and shakes his head. “But it’s not—”

“It is,” you cut him off to counter. “I’m a special grade and I’m strong, but he got away from me too. I was there too, Choso. You weren’t alone, you didn’t fight alone, I was there, and Yuki was there, his escape isn’t not your burden to carry alone. Not that it is a burden, he has a thousand years of experience on us. He outsmarted us, but you know what? You,” you point at his chest. “Got him to reveal a technique that he probably would have surprised us with after. We have that knowledge now because of you. We got the way to get my brother out, and yes we lost, but now we learn from our mistakes and do better.”

Choso sniffles and wipes away the stray tears that fell on his cheeks, whilst he also sits up as he gains a bit more confidence from what you’re saying.

“And I told you already,” you repeat yourself and reach your hand over to caress his back once again. “You didn’t fail your brothers. You would have failed them if you died, but you didn’t, you lived, you got them out of the warehouse, and you came back to Itadori. You made them proud. And I know you made Itadori happy to know you’re back.”

Choso swallows thickly and expresses some doubt. “You think so?”

You smile at him and nod. “I know it.”

Choso drops his shoulders with a deep breath and thinks about what you said in silence.

“We have to make Yuki’s sacrifice worth it by killing Kenjaku,” you add. “That’s what we do now against him.”

Choso drifts his eyes over to you and takes a second before he nods in agreement, making you flash him a wider smile. “Good.”

Choso hums and holds your gaze for a moment before he grows concerned. “You should be resting. Get some sleep.”

You slide your hand off his back and roll your eyes. “I have been. I have taken it easy. But you know after being away from home for so long leaves a lot of chores.”

He laughs softly. “Then sleep now.”

You glance at him before you look out at the lake in the distance, and frown. “I…I try, but…it’s quiet. At night it’s quiet now…I mean in general it was typically quiet at night, but now without the twins here…it’s deafening,” you confess shakily. “Before I had the knowledge in the back of my head that they were in their room, or out with friends, but now…their room will always be empty and quiet. And it hurts.”

A moment of silence passes with Choso not knowing what to say exactly, but that’s it, he couldn’t really say a thing. This sadness was something he wouldn't be able to cure. You felt grief and you’ll always feel it, he knew that. Even if he wasn't a father, he was a bother, so he knew that ache. So there’s only one thing to offer you.

“I’m sorry,” he says gently and carefully cups your hand resting on the bench, making you finally look over at him with glossy eyes.

“Thank you,” you whisper with a genuine grateful smile.

He didn’t say a lot but his words still meant a lot.

“Of course.” He says and keeps holding your eyes with such intense softness that triggers your heart to race, and the butterflies to flutter wildly.

It all makes you want to give in. After you thought he died, everything you once thought of changed, and the walls around your heart were shattered.

However, now doesn’t seem like the right time with him all sad and upset, and you sad and upset. So you bite your tongue and instead lean towards something else. “How are your wounds healing? You still have scrapes,” you point out as you lean over to grab his jaw with a touch so light it’s like a ghost touch.

“I…I’m fine,” he stammers as all he can focus on is your touch. “Nothing hurts anymore. The scars will take longer to heal, that's all.”

You hum and narrow your gaze on the scrapes you can see to make sure there’s nothing suspicious. “And that scar around your arm, is it temporary? Or?”

“It’s a part of my technique so it will stay,” he says and watches you pull away with discontent. He wishes he could feel your touch for just a bit longer.

“Ah, cool. I actually thought that was pretty cool,” you let him know with a smirk. “You surely surprised your father with it.”

Choso laughs softly. “He was being too smug.”

You chuckle and nod. “Yeah, he was. We put him in his place.”

“For a while anyway,” he contemplates.

“Hey!” You exclaim. “We did good even if we lost. You were great, I mean the way you used your brother's techniques was strategic and awesome.”

Choso turns shy but he manages to direct some compliments to you. “Your beasts were amazing. I was surprised, and Noritoshi surely shit his pants.”

You giggle. “Well, what can I say? I’m pretty awesome.”

Choso chuckles. “Yeah.”

Your face grows hot so thankfully he can’t see that.

“Anyway,” you interject after a few minutes of silence. “I should probably go and try to get some sleep.” You get up and he mirrors you. “You should too,” you snap before he can say something.

“I’ll try,” he says nonchalantly.

You smile as you head to the door. “And if anything, we meet in the library, have some tea, and watch the morning come from the inside because it’s cold out here.”

Choso scoffs and retorts. “I wouldn’t count on it. I won't be up with you this time, you need to sleep.”

“Pft!” You complain as you open the door and walk inside your warm house. “See, I knew it was a bad idea for Shoko to tell you anything.”

Choso closes the door behind him and leaves the hall dark as he turns the porch light off. “Your heart stopped, y/n,” he rebuttals your attempts to brush him off. “I felt it at a standstill. Of course, I’ll be worried. Even if it annoys you.”

You look at him over your shoulder and can't help but smile sweetly. And it’s because of his sweetness that you don't keep arguing, you walk up the stairs in a comfortable silence, and dread going into your room when you reach your door.

“Good night y/n,” he says sweetly. “Sleep all right?”

You grab your door and then look over at him with longing for more of his company, but you bite your tongue and just respond with the same thing. “Goodnight Choso.”

He offers you a smile and lets his gaze linger on you for a moment.

And it’s in that second that you notice that his smile widens as he holds your gaze for that lingering moment before he turns away. And once his back is turned you turn to walk in your lonely room. You step inside, but then come to a halt and think you know what? Screw it. You won’t suffer here alone. You can’t suffer alone. So you quickly walk out and call out to him before you lose him in his room. “Choso wait.”

Said man comes to an immediate halt and peers back with concern.

You part your lips and draw in a small breath before you exhale and actually give in. “Could you…stay with me until I fall asleep? I don’t want to be alone.”

Choso’s breath hitches in surprise, but his eyes seem to gleam with joy.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to,” you quickly let him know in his silence.

He then quickly shakes his head. “No, no, I do.” He assures you.

Howbeit when the door closes and you’re climbing in bed it’s quite awkward, only because he doesn’t want to pass any boundaries.

“It’s okay, Cho, you can lay with me.” You assure him and throw his side of the blanket open so he knows it's okay.

Albeit he still hesitates, and when he does move he does so slowly and very carefully, as if he was ready to jump if you changed your mind out of the blue.

It almost makes you want to laugh, but you don’t want to make him feel even worse, so you keep quiet and just show your amusement with a smile. Once he’s finally on his back, you throw the blanket over him and whisper ever so softly so he can relax. “Thank you.”

Choso nervously swallows thickly and slowly turns his head to look at you. “Of course.”

You keep your eyes on him for a lingering moment that helps to make him relax and drag himself further down the bed so he’s not so upright.

“Okay, now, goodnight,” you interject sweetly.

Choso watches you as you close your eyes and can’t help his awe-struck smile before he whispers, “Good night, y/n.”

Nevertheless, sleep doesn’t actually come quickly at all. Your thoughts aren’t a pest, but your eyes don’t get heavy, you just keep them closed and your mind is, like, at a standstill.

Not that Choso would know, he watched you, and occasionally scanned the room in case something was going to pop out, and then went back to watching you and completely forgot that you said only until you fell asleep.

He could watch you like this all night and not grow bored. He’d grow tired, but he’d keep himself awake to watch how gracefully your back rose and fell with each breath, especially after he almost lost you a day ago. He’d even come back the next night if that’s what you wanted.

He’d come back every night if it meant being near you. He just wants to be with you, protect you, hold you like he did last night, and be the one to wipe the tears off your cheeks every time you’re sad. He wants to be a reason you smile, he wants to help you accomplish every dream you have. He wants to be selfish and know you in an intimate way.

But you told him that you’re not worthy of him or what he has to offer, which is stupid. He wishes he could’ve had the balls to tell you that when you told him…

Wait…maybe he can now. Even if you’re asleep he’ll say it so you don’t feel pressured by his other confession.

“Tsukumo told me to just say it,” Choso startles you by breaking the silence. However you don’t open your eyes, you keep them closed and listen so he doesn’t hold back.

“…she said to rip the bandaid, but,” he sighs. “It's not easy, even after all I’ve told you because what I feel is strange. It’s new, and you make my heart feel so…full, so happy, excited, hopeful, and scared. But,” he quickly adds. “It’s only because I can’t fathom losing you…”

Damn, damn you’re going to cry. You’re going to reveal that you're awake. And he can’t know yet because it doesn’t seem like he’s done.

You have to stop yourself and hold in your tears.

Just hold them in.

“I almost lost you last night y/n, and I swear I almost went mad,” he whispers and the next thing you know you feel his fingertips graze over your cheek. And that only makes your pounding heart skip a beat.

“And when you came back, that relief, that joy I felt is something that I’ve never felt before,” he continues softly, making you swoon. “I have never felt anything like what I feel for you before, it’s strange, but I welcome it with open arms just to feel your warmth, just to continue seeing you. Because you are my hope, my sun, my moon, and my stars. Ever since that day I first saw you last year. You’re all I could think about, and you’re all I think about now. You and your big heart that only drives me crazier, and I don’t know why,” his voice quivers, “you’re so nice to me, or why you smile at me the way you do ever since that day? But even still I want to keep seeing it, I want you to keep stealing my breath away until I physically can’t breathe and my heart stops beating. That's what I want, that’s what I feel. I love you.”

If you hadn’t changed your mind before, you would have at this very moment. And if it was possible you would have some kind of heart attack or something over the sweet words he just whispered as he thought you were asleep.

Which! You’re so glad you had trouble sleeping or else you would have missed hearing him pour his heart out.

Now albeit how do you go about it? Do you just open your eyes? Kiss him? Open your eyes and confess that your world came to a complete stop when you thought he died, but when you saw him fight back it was like you were breathing for the first time.

Yes, you’ll—wait, no, your tears beat you to everything. You can’t even open your eyes before tears roll out and your smile slowly appears on your face.

Thus before Choso could react, you open your eyes and whisper the only thing that you can utter. “Choso.”

Said man’s face grows a deep crimson and he quickly pulls his hand off your cheek as he realizes you caught every word he just said.

“I…” you stammer between tears. “I love you too.”

Choso’s breath hitches and you see him grow stiff with disbelief.

“But…I…I’ve done horrible things, I’m not a good person,” you say as if it’s a warning. “I don’t deserve this.”

Choso scoffs and gently presses his hand on your cheek again, and this time he leans in closer. “I don’t care. I love you every which way. Besides, I've done bad things too. I’m not a good person either. I can’t judge you for it, I never will.”

You glance at his lips and have that urge to just feel the fireworks when you finally get a taste of his lips, but as you lean in you stop and bring something up that’s important to you. “And I have a daughter, she comes before everything, she’s my entire world. And I know there’s people out there who don’t like when their partners have kids from someone else, so if you’re that person tell me now I don’t want to waste my time on someone who’s going to turn on her later on.”

“No,” Choso says sharply. “I never would do that. Your daughter is precious to you, so she’s precious to me too. I will protect you both with my life.”

You meet his gaze and press him to reassure yourself. “You swear? Swear to me on your brother's lives, Choso. She’s a part of me, just as much as she’s a part of Suguru Geto. Do you understand?”

Choso nods and whispers against your lips. “I swear.”

You offer him a wobbly smile before you finally do it. You finally clash your lips on his and it’s more than you expected.

There’s fireworks, your heart dances, and your body burns with desire, but most importantly as you taste his soft and sweet lips for the first time it feels like you’re in heaven.

While Choso feels like he’s on an incredible life-changing high. It’s like he was pumped with adrenaline the moment he finally felt your lips, every part of him was on overdrive, he could even taste the colors, that’s how good and gratifying it felt kissing you. He never wants to get off this high, it’s worth the chase.

When you pull away he leans in for more, but you press your thumb on his lips and grin.

“Choso, honey, wait,” your voice oozed with the very thing you just called him. “Telling you that I love you is that okay? I don’t want you to feel pressured or you know, like you’re being forced.”

Choso chuckles softly. “I just told you I loved you. Is that too soon for you?”

You scoff and shake your head. “No.”

“Then,” he whispers against your lips. “There’s your answer.”

You grin and cup his jaw. “You know I never thought I would love someone again. But then I saw you that day in Shibuya and it felt like my heart came back to life. And when I got to know you, when I saw how big your heart was it’s like you brought the colors back to my black and white world.”

Tears slip down his cheeks and you feel how fast his heart is thumping even if you aren’t pressed against him.

“You make me ache in the best way possible, you make my heart happy, but also scared because I tend to lose what I love, so promise me you’ll fight for your life to stay by my side. Please,” you ask in a shaky voice.

Choso swallows thickly and nods softly. “I promise.”

You beam at him and lean in again. This time he’s not as reserved with his kiss, he deepens the kiss right away and grabs the back of your neck to tilt your head so you’re better molded together. He grabs your face as if forbidding you from pulling back, and before you know it he shoves his tongue in your mouth as if he has done this before.

You almost have to wonder if he has.

Regardless, it’s not like you do anything to stop his fever, you press yourself closer and tangle your fingers in his hair, causing his buns to loosen. And when he pulls back to catch his breath you whisper his name in such a seductive way that he quickly comes back and continues to devour you, causing you to finally moan his name in his mouth.

When he hears it slip past your lips he pulls back to look at you surprised like he wasn’t the cause of your reaction, and you just smirk before you pull yourself against him and feel a hard bulge press against your thigh, causing your blood to be pumped with feverish desire.

“Choso…I want you to make me yours,” you say between breaths. “Can you do that?”

“Hah,” he breathes out and clutches onto the back of your head before he answers by kissing you roughly and sliding his hand down to your back.

You pull on his hair and it falls over his shoulders, making you then slither your hands down his back. When you reach the waistband of his pajama pants you pull your face back and ask for permission. “Can I touch you?”

Choso licks his lips and you feel his tip twitch behind the warm material. “Please,” he says with his eyes meeting your darkened gaze.

And with that, you slowly slide your hand in his pants as he starts to litter kisses on your jaw. You then push your hand past his boxers and when you wrap your hand around his tip you already feel it leaking.

“Y/N,” he moans breathlessly against your neck and without waiting he rocks his hips forward, making your hand slide down his shaft, and causing him to shudder and hide his face in the crook of your neck. While you can’t help but clench at nothing at the mere feeling of his satisfaction.

But before he can finish himself off you slowly slide your hand up and only now manage to realize how girthy he is. He’s not long, but what he lacks in length he makes up for in girth.

It only honestly makes you impatient to feel him inside you, so before you can come undone with your clenching over the ghost of his touch, you start pumping his cock, making Choso part his lips and sink his teeth into your flesh.

“Choso,” you try to yelp but it comes out of breath so it’s more like a moan.

“Ah…d-damn!” He opens his mouth and grips onto your throat as his tip twitches before warm and thick cum oozes out and pools over your fist.

“Sorry, I’m…so…sorry.” He quickly sputters and meets your gaze with an endearing look.

“It’s okay, Cho,” you assure him as you slip your hand out and lick his salty cum off your hand, making his eyes widen and his cock grow hard once again.

“Now…” he pauses to swallow thickly. “You. I want you.”

You giggle and before you climb on him, or before he climbs on you, you get off the bed and rush to the door.

“Y/N?” He calls out.

Just to make sure no little goblin walks in later, you lock the door and walk back to let Choso see you. “Just locking the door,” you let him know before you run back to him and basically jump over him.

“Do you want me Choso?” You tease him, making him sit up and grab your waist.

“I need you,” he says softly and lovingly. “Please.”

You smile and press your forehead against his. “I’m all yours, now, tomorrow, and forever.”

Choso grins so sweetly and takes a moment to admire you before he leans in and dominates your lips again. This time his body is in tune with his eagerness because before you know it with what seems to be like ease, he tears your shirt off and leaves you exposed since you have no bra on.

It’s just too uncomfortable to sleep with.

“Choso,” you giggle, and without shame, he laughs with you before he pulls back and falls silent as he sees the shape of your breasts, and your nipples perked up.

“You,” he stammers and blinks repeatedly with disbelief before he meets your gaze, letting you see how his sun-kissed brown eyes gleam with awe. “Every part of you is beautiful. You’re so beautiful.”

Those are simple words, but it’s the way he says it that makes your already-soaked panties drown with your own desire for him.

“Now let me see you,” you coo and reach down to grab the hem of his shirt. He places his hand over yours and you pull his shirt off together. And even if you’ve already seen him shirtless, your breath still hitches, and a pulse starts throbbing in your core.

“Look at you,” you redirect sweetly, making his blush blaze. “You’re very beautiful. Like the last time. And you know,” you flick your tongue and lean in to talk against his lips. “When you were fighting, when you were on fire with courage and determination all I could think about was how sexy you were, how much I wanted you.”

“Hah,” he breathes out and presses the tip of his hard cock against your eager core.

“Will you fight for me like that?” You whisper up to his ear with your lips grazing against his flesh. “Will you be strong for me, Choso?”

“Always,” he says breathlessly.

You smirk and start to leave a trail of kisses on his neck up to his jaw, while you lift up a little bit to let him pull his pants and boxers off before he eagerly undresses you as if it’s something he’s done before.

“Just promise me something,” he manages to say between the trance you put him in. “You’ll live for me too. I can’t lose you. Not again.”

You slide your hands down to his chest and slither them back up to cup his jaw and assure him. “I will. As long you're alive there’s a reason to keep going.”

Choso can’t help his smile or the sloppy kiss he initiates. And you can’t wait anymore, you lift your hips once again and reach one hand down to grab his cock and line it up with your entrance, making him pull away from you and groan.

“I’m going to put in,” you let him know.

Choso nods and can’t help himself; he helps you by pushing up and penetrating his tip through your tight entrance. And since all you’ve felt is your own fingers for a while, the feeling of a thick cock entering you stings. And since he doesn’t stop as he lets his pleasure take control you kind of ache as he fills you up completely.

“Ch—choso,” you whine and throw your head back as that sting slowly turns to pleasure. “Oh…Choso.” You moan as you can now think about how this was a much more sensational feeling than his cock in your dreams.

And Choso…well he was taking time to collect himself as he got lost in the feeling of your warm gummy walls squeezing him and taking him so well. It’s like you were made for him.

“Y/N…” he trails off and whispers part of your name before he whines and drops the back of his head on the pillow.

“Choso, baby,” you break your silence. “I’m going…hm…I’m gonna start moving.”

“Mhmm,” he moans. “Please.”

You smirk and rock your hips slowly, making his nails dig into your hips and a hand slap over his eyes.

“Choso, honey, look at me,” you plead and rock your hips forward again.

Said man groans and you have to be the one to peel his hands off his face.

“Choso look at me, please,” you beg and lift up, causing his eyes to snap down to your weeping pussy, and he loses himself and gasps with awe.

“Beautiful, my love,” he mumbles, making your heart stop and your hips halt halfway over his cock.

“What?” You gasp with disbelief.

Choso’s eyes find yours and he sees how soft and bright they look, and smiles. “My love,” he whispers with adoration before he ruts his hips up to meet your core with his tip, making him and you see stars as your worlds collide.

“Say it again,” you command and lift your hips halfway up his cock. “Please.”

Choso sits up, letting you press your warm bodies against each other. “My love. That’s what you are to me. Is it wrong?”

You shake your head and push down, making him mouth your name as his eyes roll back.

“No,” you answer in his mouth. “I love it. I want you to say it again.” You let him know as you rock your hips. “And again.” You day and rock your hips again, making him slide his hand to your hips.

“If it…pleases you, I will say it always.” He says softly and thrusts up, pulling a chant of his name out of you that only triggers him to thrust in out of you with complete control even if you’re the one on top of him.

“Choso,” you moan in his mouth and he shuts you up by kissing you passionately while he thrusts in and out of you all the way, making you meet each thrust by rocking your hips.

He wants to keep kissing you until you cum, but he can’t help it, he’s lost in the stars by the feeling of your warm pussy swallowing him so damn good. He can’t help the whimpers and groans that come out of him whilst he also chants your name in your mouth.

“Choso,” you groan and press your forehead against his as his tip hits a heavenly place. “You…fuck…fill me…mhmm, so good.”

“Mine,” he sputters out as he drags his fat cock in and out of your warm and gummy walls that feel like heaven to him. “I…I…love…you.”

He ruts in deeper and faster, meeting each thrust with a delicious squelching noise as your wetness blankets his cock and spills out of your core, soaking him and you completely.

“Harder,” you cry and he listens obentientedly and without hesitation fucks you at a rougher pace, causing your headboard to hit the wall, and the mattress to creak.

“Choso,” you whine, and he groans and buries his face in the crook of your neck and moans into it as he keeps his brutal pace.

“So close,” he muffles in your neck.

You cry louder as he fucks you to a different dimension where all you feel is a bright sensational euphoria.

“Kiss,” he groans and throws his head back. “Please. My love.”

You whimper and throw your hands up into his hair and pull back as he brings you close to that delicious edge. And that feeling of your fingers tangling in his hair drives him overboard, a wave of ecstasy washes over him, and his hips stutter, and his tip twitches, but his thrusts are brutal in such an amazing way that drives your hands down to drag your nails up his back, making him groan while his knuckles turn white as he grips onto your hips and shoots up robes and robes of his hot seed deep into your pussy.

“Y/N! Ah…fuck…damn. Ah!” He cries and keeps thrusting up.

At the sound of his own pleasure and the feeling of his tip hitting your g-spot, you sob out your euphoria and cum over his cock.

“Choso,” you whisper breathlessly as he comes to a stop and drops his head on your shoulder.

When you stop spilling out you loosen your grip and caress his back with your nails, making him groan softly.

“That was amazing,” you praise him in his ear before you kiss the side of his head. “Want me to get off now? We can take a shower,” you coo.

Choso stays quiet for a moment before he lifts his head and presses a gentle kiss on your cheek. “You were incredible, my love.” He assures you and pecks your lips. “But,” he mumbles. “No. I want more of you. Please give me more.”

You pull back and look at him eagerly. “Are you sure?” You check in.

Choso caresses your face making you lean in his touch. “Yes, I’m more than sure,” he lets you know.

You giggle and lean in to take him in for an open mouth kiss while he grips onto your hips and pulls out to flip around. However, just as you were going to complain at the emptiness you realize he’s turning the wrong way.

“Choso wait—” you don’t finish your warning before you hit the ground with a loud and harsh thump.

“Oh damn,” Choso hisses.

“Ow,” you groan and reach for the back of your head.

“Y/N?! Are you okay?” He immediately grows concerned.

You open your eyes and look at him with quivering lips, and before he knows it you burst out laughing.

It takes him a moment to realize you’re not upset that he dropped you and joins you.

“Ow that did hurt,” you say between laughs.

Choso caresses your head and smiles. “I’m sorry, I got carried away.”

You snicker. “It’s okay. I get it.”

He calms down and looks into your eyes, making you go quiet and speak thousands of words in your lingering look before you start laughing again over nothing now.

“Hm,” he breathes out lightheartedly and drops his face in the crook of your neck, letting you gently caress his scalp with your nails.

“Mhm…I love you,” he muffles and kisses your neck, causing goosebumps to crawl down your spine, and a happy smile to spread on your lips.

“I love you too,” you coo and wrap your arms around his neck to keep him pressed against you.

Choso and you don’t move from the ground just yet, he keeps his face buried, and you keep thinking how happy you are that you took this leap and confessed and that you let yourself have this pleasure of being with Choso. Until you realize he didn’t wear a condom…which should worry you a lot more, but oh well!

You’re having too much fun and throughout the entire night, you're both too busy with each other to remember anything but wanting more of one another.

.

.

.

.

A/N: 🤭

Tagged- @deniseabad1928 @secondary-character-25 @starlightanyaaa @notsaelty @d4rno @moonnime @kodzukein @yozora7154 @heijihattorisgf @elegantweirdorchest @natakina

[spyxfamilysmol]

[nanami-kento-archive]

Chapter 26

[peternureyevplsdontbetraythecrew]

[whosthatfunkyrat]

I like it that when I say chapter 26 to ANYONE who’s read Crooked Kingdom they immediately know what I mean

[dungeonmeshititlepages]

[every-ciel-phantomhive]

[archidrews]

Cheryl Blossom Riverdale S02E13 "Chapter Twenty-Six: The Tell-Tale Heart"

[aucasaurus]

[manga-meow]

[damn-stark]

Chapter 26 Love in the Dark

Chapter 26 of Moonlight

A/N- Someone give her a hug!

Warning- Swearing, ANGST, talks of death, violence, blood and SPOILERS for future events of HOTD!!!!

Pairing- Cregan Stark x Velaryon!fem-reader, Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!fem-reader

Episode- After 1x09, events based off of Fire and Blood

(If you want to be tagged let me know)

————

You shouldn’t do it, but you have to. You can still see her engulfed by flames, you can hear her screams and cries that only appear in your nightmares. They didn’t go away when Aegon died.

But now though, you also see flashes of Jacaerys dying in your arms, you see Lucerys dying even if you never witnessed his death, you see Joffrey and Viserys. You see all of them flashing violently in your head. You see them all dying. They’re all dead, you’re alone because the people didn’t want your mother as Queen.

You’ll show them. Why shouldn’t you? Plus it’s the only way it’ll all go quiet, it’s the only way they’ll learn.

“<Astraea,” you sneer and clutch onto her horns tighter while you grow angrier. “Dracarys!>”

Without needing to repeat yourself, without hesitation, flames rain down in the heart of the city just past where the soldiers are fighting outside the castle gates. Bright and raging flames give light to the city as if it were a midnight sun. Screams fill the air, you can hear them from the top of your dragon. You can see people trying to run away from the incoming storm of fire, but you don’t care. You feel no remorse, and soon thereafter every sound but the sound of flames drowns out, finally, the silence that tormented your head goes silent.

Baela sees what you do from a distance, she’s horrified, but she does nothing to stop you. She can’t do anything but hear the chaos that ensues.

You don’t stop either, with tears of sorrow and anguish rushing down your cheeks you keep persisting and only avoid the places where your army would be fighting. The houses and the shops you’d pass on your way to the dragon pit or fly over back in the day all burn to rubble and ash. The people hiding and running all get crushed and burnt. The dragon pit was once filled with beautiful dragons but was then destroyed by people, and now it turns to more debris as Astraea bathes it in fire.

The city you’d admire from inside the castle, the city of stars that once gleamed like stars in your childhood, now glimmers with wild flames. And lastly, before you can burn away the entire damn city, you spot a building with Aegon’s banner over its wall so you bathe it in fire and finally bring yourself to a stop, leaving only parts of the city untouched.

But now to help the army take down the Green Army.

Nevertheless, as Astraea begins to make her way to the city gates, bells ring signifying the Green’s surrender and bringing the end to this battle on land and at sea. Now it’s time for you to ascend the throne.

Thus you nudge Astraea and she circles back to the Red Keep. Once you approach the courtyard outside the throne room, Astraea descends and lets you land on the ground before she ascends back to the sky. You wait for Baela, for soldiers to return to the Red Keep, for those people spared from your flames to be brought in, but first, you approach Aegon's banner on the outer wall and yank it off to signal his end.

“Take down every single Green banner you see,” you command the soldier guarding you. “Replace it with the black and red one with the four-legged dragon. I will use that one too from now on.”

“Right away, Your Grace!” He says and bows his head before he orders men to help.

“Y/N!”

You look at the doors and see your grandfather storming out.

“What did you do?” He demands to know with disbelief and slight frustration.

Your guards see him storming over though and block his way to you. He then looks at you to stop them but you keep him behind the wall of men.

“I spread fear,” you respond coldly. “The Green army surrendered because of what they saw. Now hopefully no one will dare challenge my reign.” You offer him a faint smile before you head inside to wait there.

Vanessa quickly finds you once you’re inside and embraces you quickly before she waves servants over carrying beautiful gowns.

“No,” you let her know. “They’re beautiful, and pieces I’ll wear, but when I ascend I’ll do so in my armor so they know I fought.”

Vanessa flashes you a smirk and nods. “Great then, let me just clean your face.”

Before she can do it though, Prince Namor finally makes his way to you. “Your Grace,” he greets and bows.

You approach him and offer him a smile. “Thank you,” you share softly. “Without you and your people, this wouldn’t have happened. Thank you for helping me take my mother's throne back.”

Prince Namor mirrors your smile. “You welcome, and great job out there. You were truly a force to be reckoned with, I am glad I chose to accept this alliance.”

Your smile threatens to widen, but before you do you grab his hands first and cup them with yours. “Don’t betray me.”

Prince Namor looks at you with disbelief and shakes his head. “Never,” he assures you before he leans in and presses a gentle kiss on your cheek. “We’re in this together.”

You sigh softly and nod. “Yes. We are.” You step back from him and catch Baela entering the corridor.

You had known she was okay, she had destroyed those Scorpions with Silverwing with ease, but seeing her unharmed across from you only makes your eyes fill with happy tears. You had feared losing more, so now that you see her you can’t help but stride over to her.

She seems upset by what you did, but she had lost a lot too during this war so she matches your pace and meets you halfway to embrace each other.

“It’s over,” you mewl.

Baela clutches onto you and nods. “Yes, it’s finally over.” She cries softly.

All the deaths, all the pain, and all the tragedy will have meaning.

“Now it’s time for you to sit on your throne,” Baela says as she pulls back and faces you. “We can talk later—”

“No,” you cut her off. “I did what I did. The battle ended because of it, and now everyone living here, and those across kingdoms will know not to betray me or any of my descendants again.”

Baela draws in a deep breath and looks like she wants to argue, you welcome it, but she just exhales and keeps quiet.

You then proceed to wait in the shadows for more people to fill the throne room. And once you hear the hall fill with enough commotion, you finally depart to the hall.

But first, Velaryon and Dornish guards march ahead and break the crowd apart to create a path for you. They hit the tip of their swords against the floor to create a booming beat to silence everyone and let them know you’re finally coming.

Before you walk into the throne room you're hesitant though, you fiddle with your armor, you fix your cloak, and sheath your sword, but pull it out again not knowing if you want to intimidate them or assure them. You hang your head low as you can’t help but think of who you lost to get here. You almost make your ascension seem like a burden you didn’t want, but then through the beating thumps, you hear Astraea share a loud and beautiful song that sends chills down your spine and fills you with pride.

The sadness leaves your body and you begin to stride with confidence, when you reach the doors you raise your chin and show off a small smirk. The crowd gathered inside begins to murmur and gasp as they see you, but they quickly fall silent as the guards that created a path raise their metal swords, letting you see a clear path to the Iron throne that awaits you.

You promised you’d get your mother on that throne, and you did help, but she didn’t rule long, you failed at keeping her safe and securing her reign. But now as you stride down the hall with each sword falling down one by one behind you, you swear to your brothers and your mother that you will reign long. You will build a better kingdom for them. You will keep your promise to your mother and keep these kingdoms united.

So if they’re all watching you now, all they need to know is that you’ll make them proud and that you can’t wait to see them all again.

Thus as you take that first step that leads to the throne you smile softly, Astraea appears through the hole she made earlier and startles the crowd, but it sends a message that you shouldn't be questioned.

“The Green tyranny is finally over!” You exclaim and turn to face the crowd. “The usurper is dead!” You add and pull out Blackfyre to point at Aegon's head with the tip.

And to your surprise the crowd of people cheer loudly, making you grow smug. “And none it would be possible without my allies, the Velaryon’s and Driftmark. Those who I bled with on the battle of Tumbleton, and,” you sigh and smirk. “Most importantly I would like to thank Dorne, without them I wouldn’t be standing here.”

Those who didn’t know about Dorne’s alliance gasped in shock and murmured amongst each other.

“Dorne joined our fight after I asked for help. They gave their lives for this throne, for us, and for a Queen they never knew. I will always be in their debt, and I will always be grateful for your alliance…and thank you for giving me hope once again.” You glance at Prince Namor and you offer each other soft smiles before you move on.

“The Seven Kingdoms is at last united. And together now we will move…towards peace, we have bled long enough and we have seen death too much. Yet even so, I won’t rest until every lord and lady who sided with the greens is mounted on a spike or turned to ash!” you exclaim, making all the soldiers cheer with excitement.

You then turn and walk to the throne, when you reach it you stop to face the crowd again. This time a high Septon approaches you with Aegon the Conqueror's crown made of dark metal and adorned with a red ruby at the center. You slowly sit down on the cold Iron Throne and stab Blackfyre on the ground between your legs.

As the Septon approaches he bows his head and then gently places the crown on your head. “My Queen,” he says as he bows again before he walks away.

Once he’s out of the way you look over at your grandfather and he’s the first to kneel, you glance at Baela and she follows, and then you drift your gaze to Prince Namor standing just below the throne and he offers you a bow, letting the rest of the Dornish soldiers to do the same. Lastly, you look at Alicent who you made stand at the front, and with tears in her eyes, she slowly kneels, making you smirk.

The crowd follows to kneel, but you don’t care about the others, so you look ahead and let out a small breath.

“All Hail Queen y/n of House Targaryen!” Your grandfather shouts. “First of her name! Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men. Lady of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the realm!”

“Long live the Queen!” Baela cries.

“Long live the Queen!” Prince Namor follows.

Astraea walks in as much as she can and cries out in your support, filling the hall with her song and making the crowd inside begin to clap and chant the same thing.

“Long live the Queen!”

You did it. You hope your mother can see.

——

*2 MONTHS LATER*

Meetings and hearings are never-ending, ever since you became Queen people have talked your ear off. The halls have begun to once again become lively, but not with a sense of peace that roamed the halls when you were young, no, Lords who’ve come to swear fealty to their new Queen fill the halls. The Riverland army has finally arrived at King's landing, all of whom come from fighting battles and searching for more, but instead, they find Aegon the Second’s rotting head on a spike over the castle gates so the throne room wouldn’t smell.

There are seizures of traitors within King’s Landing, like Lord Larys who was arrested and in chains in the dungeons for treason and awaiting their sentence.

There are arguments from your council who refuse to listen to you. Even with Prince Namor at your side, even with a crown on your head and a dragon at your side when you’re on the throne the mighty council refuses to listen to you. And you know it’s because you’re a woman. The only ones who’ve been in your defense are the Riverland Lords and Ladies who you have fought alongside, Alyn Velaryon, and that’s it. Baela has agreed with you in some cases but she argues against your choices a lot now.

“It’s not wise,” Baela argues against a debate over a certain Westerlands Lady. “The war is over, there’s no need to put her to the sword.”

You sigh and shake your head. “She ruled in her late husband's stead,” you argue with fury. “She helped Lord Tyland hide the crown's treasury, she is a traitor by all accounts. It does not matter if she agrees to bend the knee. She is still a traitor to the realm, and traitors must meet their ends so the people can know what happens.”

“And didn’t you show them already what happens?” Your grandfather retorts. “By laying waste to half of King’s Landing? Is that not enough?”

You narrow your gaze on him and lean forward, creating tension in the room. “No,” you quip. “Especially not if she’s asking for conditions to return the coin that belongs to this crown and the people that remain here.”

“The Queen is right,” Lord Blackwood backs you up. “She had the chance to turn her army against the Greens when her husband died, but she chose to remain loyal to Aegon. She chose her fate now we must deliver it.”

Your grandfather is about to interject, but then the door opens and a guard comes to whisper in your ear. “Lord Stark and his army are approaching the city walls.”

You nod in comprehension, letting the man pull back and walk away. “Our meeting will conclude for now,” you cut in. “Lord Stark approaches, let's welcome the Warden of the North.” You push yourself up and walk out, followed by Prince Namor and your Queensguard.

When you arrive in the throne room you put the crown on your head, hold Blackfyre in one hand, and feel your heart begin to race the fastest you’ve felt it beat in months. It’s such an odd feeling after only feeling some empty husk, but you put on a nonchalant face in your wait.

However, from the perspective of others you don’t look nonchalant at all, there’s an anger in your eyes that has been present since you sat on the throne with a crown on your head for the first time. There’s a coldness in your eyes that’s like the winter's bitter air when your eyes fall on someone.

The Realms Golden Girl no longer reflects in your eyes, now in the two months since you’ve been Queen, you’ve been unforgiving. Loveless. So much so that whispers say that you're ‘The Realm’s Heartless Queen’.

For so long people of this realm have tried to prevent a second Maegor, but in their refusal to have your mother as Queen, it seems that she was no Maegor with teets, instead, it was you.

You would’ve been angered and saddened by such names before, but now you relish in their fear and adapt to such names. Thus when the doors open and you finally meet the Grey eyes of Cregan Stark, you don’t smile, you stay nonchalant and sit up straighter.

“Lord Cregan of House Stark,” the guard announces before he directs his introduction to you. “You stand in the presence of Queen Y/N of House Targaryen. First of her Name, Queen of the Andals, the Rhoynar, and the First Men. Lady of the Seven Kingdoms and Protector of the realm! And her betrothed, and future Prince Consort, Prince Namor of House Martell.”

You lift your chin, and Cregan’s eyes widen slightly as he finally sees with his own eyes what people have whispered in his ear, you as Queen. He swallows back thickly as he walks to you and sees the Conqueror's crown on your head, and the Conqueror's sword in your hand. When he reaches the line of guards protecting the path to you, he exhales as he falls under your gaze before he kneels.

“I Lord Cregan Stark, Lord of Winterfell, and Warden of the North, promise to be faithful to you, my Queen. I pledge fealty to you and shall defend you against all enemies in good faith and without deceit. I swear this by the Old Gods and the New,” he declares and lifts his eyes to meet your gaze.

You swallow back nervously and quietly exhale with sudden relief. It’s so unexpected, but the moment you meet his grey eyes you can’t help but feel comfort. You feel…safe for the first time in a long time.

Yet you don’t express it, your demeanor doesn’t change, and your voice expresses the same coldness people think so bitter. “Lord Stark, welcome to King’s Landing, and thank you for your loyalty.”

Said man pushes himself up and raises his head high and with pride. “There’s no need to thank me, the North remembers,” he proclaims. “We made a promise to fight for Queen Rhaenyra, against the usurper and his people. That is what we came here to do.”

You clench your jaw and grip onto your sword's handle.

“You came too late, my Lord,” Baela tells him as she stands behind the line of Queensguard. “For the war is done, and the usurper is dead.”

“All no thanks to you,” you quip at Cregan. “We waited, Jacaerys waited, my mother waited, so while you played in your snow, the sun,” you refer to Dorne. “Came out of the shadows and danced. We, with the help of Driftmark, burned away the enemies and sunk their ships. The Riverland army helped destroy the traitors that nested in Tumbleton and stopped Prince Daeron’s army from marching here, so tell me Lord Stark, what good is your word truly?” You sneer and pierce your glare deeper within him.

Cregan’s eyebrows slowly furrow, and his disbelief grows as he hears you speak, as he sees the coldness in your eyes that don’t flicker that glimmer he always saw in your eyes before.

“With winter in our midst we had harvest to store,” Cregan argues. “Unfortunately our winters are more unforgiving in the North than they are in the South. I had to help my people, Your Grace. So for that, I won’t apologize. Besides,” he adds as he begins to match that bitterness behind your tone. “It seems to me that the rats still play in the corners, and snakes still live comfortably in their stone castles.”

You hum, and Prince Namor breaks his silence in your defense. “They won’t live long, these are all matters that are being discussed currently within our council.”

Cregan hums and smugly rebuttals. “Is it really a council if you let your Queen's traitors live? Others started this war, but I intend to finish it for my promise to Prince Jacaerys, late Queen Rhaenyra, and for you,” he says and catches you off guard. “My Queen.”

Your breath catches softly, so it’s a good thing you sit so far from the others standing below you, or else they would’ve heard how flustered you got after hearing him say that.

“Very well,” you interject and stand up. “You may prove your worth later than in our council meeting. As of now,” you sigh and clasp your hands together. “You must be tired of your journey. Rest, bath, eat, enjoy the sights in the city, and let it sink in what happens to traitors.” You smirk and step down the steps, making the guards depart to leave you a path towards Cregan.

Once you’re before him though, when you look in his grey eyes all you can see is Jacaerys and how much Cregan failed him, you see her again and the way he failed her too.

Blaming him isn’t justifiable but you can’t help it, you’re still so angry and all you can do is blame him.

“Welcome to King’s Landing,” you greet coldly and walk away with your group of people trailing behind you. Making it impossible for him to follow like he would before.

You tried to keep it that way. You thought of every possible way he could try and reach you and avoided it, you make sure to keep yourself busy so if he asks for a private audience they’ll tell him that you can’t. You even try pushing him away from your mind, but no matter what you’re doing or where you are all you can think about is Cregan, how angry you are, and how happy you are to see him again.

You want to hug him, push him, and yell at him. You want him…to see Daenerys. Your child with his deep grey eyes. But you can’t see him without thinking of your mother.

Why couldn’t he be there?

Why do you still see her dying? Why can’t those stupid nightmares, and memory flashes go away?

You want to burn every kingdom to ash for it. Maybe that’ll help?

No. It can’t help. You can’t think that way anymore because then what kingdoms would protect everyone from the threat in the North? And you made her a promise. You can’t fail that one too.

——

*LATER*

There’s so much senseless arguing. All these men just go back and forth about the same thing, who’s cock is the biggest.

One wants to avoid more bloodshed and have peace, the other wants to kill everything. Neither one agrees, yet what most men do agree with is your brother Aegon being your heir.

It can’t be Aerion or the twins because they’re Aemond’s kids, they don’t want the war to repeat, so it’s best if Aerion stays as heir to Driftmark so he can change his name to Velaryon instead. And the girls will just get passed.

You’d be upset, but you made a promise to Dorne, they want their heir so you’re going to give it to them. Yet your council wants Aegon as heir now as if you’re going to die tomorrow. It’s so frustrating in more ways than one.

“I said we can talk about it later,” you cut in sharply. “We’ve drifted from our priority and that is what to do with Johanna Lannister,” you remind them. “She became lady after her husband died, she still hung up Aegon's banner after his death, for that she should meet her fate.”

“And send her children on a revenge rampage?” Your grandfather argues. “She has accepted our terms—”

“On a condition that the crown grants Ser Tyland a pardon,” Lady Alysanne Blackwood, the aunt of Bloody Ben, blurts.

“And she’ll send her daughters to the castle to be the Queen's companions.” Your grandfather cuts in, making you clench your fists.

“And why should I have the daughters of traitors as my companions?” You argue. “So they can stab me in the back or slit my throat while I sleep? Worse, so they can harm my children?”

“And killing their mother will bring resolve?”

You nod. “It shall. They’ll know the consequences of betraying the named heir and rightful ruler.”

“The Queen is right,” Cregan pitches in on your defense. "Why should traitors get to rule after betraying their Queen and their kingdom? We need to strike them all down and teach them a lesson.”

“Let the quarrel die with them,” Baela argues back with more force. “You speak of taking Storm's End, Oldtown, and Casterly Rock, but the men who held those seats were slain in battle, everyone. Small boys and suckling babes sit in their places now, no threat to us. We granted them honorable terms, and they are willing to bend the knee."

“Small boys become large men in time," Cregan counters, "And a babe sucks down his mother's hate with his mother's milk. Finish these foes now, or those of us not in our graves in twenty years will rue our folly when those babes strap on their father's swords and come seeking vengeance."

For the first time since you entered the hall, you finally look at him. You couldn’t do that before, not even when you walked in and saw him stand up out of respect. You could feel his stare but you avoided eye contact. But now? You meet his grey eyes, feel your heart skip a beat, and the corner of your lips tug a pleased smile.

He doesn’t mirror your gesture though, he’s in public, and he has a reputation to hold, so he just holds your gaze before he looks back at your grandfather to shoot daggers at him.

"King Aegon said the same and died for it,” your grandfather tries to prove a point. “Had he heeded our counsel and offered peace and pardon to his foes, he might be sitting with us here today."

You scoff and rebuttal. “Aegon died because he was a usurper and a traitorous cunt. No matter what he did we would’ve killed him. No one liked him, they only liked the idea of having someone with a cock and balls on the fucking throne. But what good did that do?” You spat. “Why do you insist on peace and pacts?” You then question, catching your grandfather off guard. “The moment the lords turned their banners against my mother they asked for death, why shouldn’t we grant them the pleasure of dying?”

“But then what can we expect from the Sea Snake,” Cregan cuts in. "Small wonder you are called the Sea Snake. You may slither this way and that way but, oh, your fangs are venomous. Aegon was an oathbreaker, a kinslayer, and a usurper, yet still a king. The Lords and Ladies that followed are oathbreakers and traitors, as are you. The moment Aegon asked, you turned your cloak against the Blacks for your personal gain, it’s no wonder you think the others should go without consequence. Perhaps you shall answer for it as well."

Baela snaps her gaze to you, and you meet her gaze and don’t reassure her, instead you exhale and wait, as if debating whether to let Cregan fill these Lord's heads with inspiration and folly to get what you want. But he is also your grandfather and he did help you ascend the throne, he lived in the best way he could, so you can’t blame him too.

“No,” you defend him. “Lord Corlys did what he could to survive after my mother's death. I understand because I did that too.”

Baela sighs with relief, and your grandfather's shoulders untense.

“Yet I can't continue to rule and not have the traitors pay for their crimes, for that Lord Stark is right.” You finally try to find some resolve to this pointless arguing, while still filling your own thirst for revenge. “As of now, I want Johanna Lannister brought to me…” you sigh. “Lady Elenda Baratheon shall bring her newborn son and we will make him the ward of Lord Tully as I had discussed with him before. He can return to Storm's End when he’s of age to take his father's seat and only then. I’ll give them two weeks time, if they don’t send back a Raven I’ll take that as their answer and meet them with Astraea, and an army.” You declare and look back at your maester.

The old man nods and walks off right away to write and send your offers, letting you then think about what you had to command. You would have hated to be separated from your newborn children, you killed to defend your twins, but you can’t harbor any sympathy for a House that betrayed your mother. No matter what happened they still must pay.

“What of Lord Lynol Hightower?” Lord Blackwood asks.

“He has part of the crown's gold as well,” you say. “And he is willing to return it and bend the knee. He can come and I will decide what to do with him there,” you clarify and sit back.

The room doesn’t argue, you’re glad they don’t, but there’s still another matter to discuss. That being your little brother Aegon. “Now back to your chosen heir,” your grandfather brings up again.

You sigh deeply and rub your eyes.

“That matter is settled,” Baela argues for you. “Her first child with Prince Namor shall be her heir.”

Cregan’s gaze falls on you the moment after that’s said; he had known since the moment he heard of Dorne allying with the crown that you’d have to marry someone not of your choosing, but it didn’t sound. It still doesn’t feel real.

“But—”

“No,” you cut off the other Lord. “My first child with Prince Namor will be the heir. He will bear the Targaryen name as we agreed upon with Dorne. Do you want to speak of breaking oaths?”

The room stays quiet as breaking that oath means war, so the matter finally gets resolved. Thankfully.

“Now,” you add with exhaustion. “Take Lord Larys Strong and the others to the yard for their execution. Unless any of you want to defend their disloyalty then I recommend you let it be or I will use Blackfyre on you too. They’ve lived long enough.”

With that said you stand up and walk away with one other thing on your mind. Your mother. She’s on your mind again and the conversation of Aegon had brought her back like nasty vomit. You want to forget it and swallow it back to feel at ease again, but you feel it in your throat.

Perhaps the execution of the traitors will help ease your discomfort and help you forget.

But then there he is, the other problem occupying your mind, Cregan Stark.

The moment you walk out to the courtyard his grey eyes never leave your face, he watches you carefully even as the maester prays for the doomed. He reads you through the rain that pours over the yard like no one else and sees the grief you still hold, the agony you feel, and the anger that mixes with it. He sees it all without even having to speak to you, without being so close. Even with so much distance keeping you apart, he sees right through you.

When the maester finally finishes his prayer, Cregan walks over to you, making you stiffen and glance nervously at Baela. She doesn’t know about your affair, about how hard your heart is beating, so she just glances at the prisoners to speechlessly encourage you.

Maybe you should grab Prince Namor's hand? He’d think it’s weird, but it would help get Cregan away.

But you’re a Queen now, you have to act normal, behave. So instead you unsheath Blackfyre and walk over to the traitorous men.

“My Queen,” Cregan interjects as he steps before you and blocks your path, “it should be me who should swing the sword for you. You shouldn’t have to carry out such a sentence.”

You face him through the rain that practically bathes you since you refused a cover, and argue. “No, I will do it. I have swung the sword more than once, and it is you who said the person who passes the sentence must also wield the sword. Yes?”

Cregan blinks in disbelief and his lips pull to a slight smirk before he steps aside to let you pass. When you reach the damned men, you point to a man they call Ser Perkin. “You first,” you sneer.

The guards drag him out to the middle of the platform and yank him to his knees.

“Now,” you add hesitantly. “Any last words?”

The man looks up at you to meet your burning glare, and then glances at the lord beside you with a piercing icy glare and drops his head to mutter. “I wish to take the black.”

Seven hells.

You groan and lower your sword because unfortunately when they ask to take the black, it’s something that must be done. Especially with the lord of the North here who holds the Night's watch in high regard.

“To his feet then,” you seethe through gritted teeth.

The guards yank him up and as soon as they do the other prisoners shout to be granted the same punishment—or mercy since they get to live. All except two. Ser Gyles Belgrave, and Lord Larys Strong.

“Any last words? Or do you wish to take black as well?” You ask the knight.

The knight looks up at you and shakes his head. “No. Lord Stark was right, a knight of the Kingsguard should not outlive his king."

You scoff with amusement and place yourself at his side to lift Blackfyre before you swing down and cut his head clean off. Now the only one that’s left is Lord Larys Strong.

“I told you,” you snap at him as you stride to him. “Snakes don’t bear well in the Winter.” You sheath your sword and smirk. “Do you wish to take the black Lord Larys?”

Said man looks at you confused as to why you put your sword away, but he still answers. “No, your grace I'll be going to a warmer hell if it please you...but I do have one last request. When I am dead, hack off my clubfoot with that great sword of yours. I have dragged it with me all through life, let me be free of it in death at least."

You sigh and think about it before you look at Cregan and give him a signaling nod.

He doesn’t need to be told twice, he knows your plan, so he approaches the man with his great and ancient sword, Ice.

“Your request will be granted before death, I have another method for your sentence, Lord Strong,” you let him know and smirk as a loud screech rips through the sky before Astraea descends from the clouds.

The crowd that surrounds the yard steps back out of fear as your dragon gets closer, leaving only Baela, and those who didn’t fear the dragon in their same spot. Cregan also knew Astraea, a lot better than most as he would ride her with you, he’d caress her snout when you lived in the North, so he stays by Lord Larys and swings his mighty sword down to take the club foot off.

Since it was a fake he didn’t scream or complain, he just looked at the dragon in fear as she landed right by your side.

“You don’t deserve the mercy of a quick death,” you tell Lord Larys while Cregan makes his way back to your side. “I’ll see you in hell Lord Strong. Dracarys.”

Astraea draws in a deep breath before she opens her mighty jaw and blasts out fire and bathes the man in her flames.

Yet perhaps your sentence was a mistake because the moment the fire begins to melt away the flesh from his bones he begins to scream out to the stormy sky, and you remember her.

You see her in the flames clear as day, as if you are back there again. As if she was here. You hear the screams that she lets out in your nightmares. You try to forget, remind yourself that it’s all over, that he’s gone and she is too. But as you watch Astraea eat Lord Larys, the memory flashes in your head again and you can’t help but begin to cry while you clench your fist so hard that your palms begin to bleed.

You even step forward as if trying to stop what’s going on. “Mother,” you whisper, but then a hand grabs your shoulder, causing you to jump so badly that you step back and grab the person by your side. When you look over at who grabbed you, you see Prince Namor. His brown eyes look at you with worry and once again you realize it’s all over.

Yet you still glance over and hope she’s there, but all you see is a circle of ash.

“Are you okay?” You recognize Cregan ask. And when you look at your side you see that it’s him you’re holding onto.

“I,” you mutter and clear your throat. “Yes.” You let him go and storm away. You walk and walk with tears in your eyes asking why it can’t all go away. Why does it still plague you so? Why did she have to die?

You find the roofs where you would hide away with Aemond, and keep torturing your mind with the same questions and the same memories over and over again without stop.

There comes a point where you can hardly breathe, where you can’t hear a thing besides your mind. And you can’t bring yourself to calm down, no matter how small you try to curl yourself into a ball, it keeps dragging on for hours.

There comes a point where you can breathe normally again, but the nightmares and flashes still torment you. It doesn’t stop until to your surprise Prince Namor finds you. He sits beside you and doesn’t speak, he sits in silence with you.

He doesn’t speak until the clouds clear from the sky and the stars shine above. “I lost my mother too when I was six. She…drowned in front of me and I couldn’t save her.”

You lift your head and look at him with pity.

“I know, I was just a child,” he adds what you were thinking. “But I still blamed myself. I still hated myself. And it would only get worse when I would have nightmares when I would see her in flashes at the smallest thing that reminded me of her or that moment…” he trails off and exhales deeply as he looks up at the stars.

“I know,” he continues softly. “It’s not the same, but when I saw you in the yard when I heard you call out for her, I knew what that longing and agony felt like. I never forget, even now that I’ve moved on.”

You sniffle and look at Prince Namor. “How did you move on?” You ask quietly. “No matter what I try and continue to see her. I have nightmares, I hear her in my mind. I want it to stop.”

Prince Namor looks down and meets your gaze. “You will never forget. The pain will go away, the nightmares will be forgotten, but you will never forget. But…” he sighs and offers you a kind smile. “What helped me move on was having a funeral for her. I…couldn’t bring myself to go to my mother's, so after a while, I had one myself.”

What remains of her is here, put away somewhere. They made sure to bring it along when you returned to King’s Landing. So you should at least thank them for that.

“Burn her pyre,” he adds. “And let her join the stars.”

Your lips tremble and you drop your head. “I..don’t want her to go yet,” your voice breaks.

“You have to let her go,” he says softly. “It will be okay. I swear. I’ll be there, your cousin will be there. It will all be okay.”

——

*A COUPLE DAYS LATER*

“Aerion, leave that rock alone,” you try to scold your child. “Don’t put it in your mouth.”

Aerion has grown quite an attitude so he throws the rock down and looks at you with a pout.

Vanessa laughs and you try not to, but you can’t help but smile. Albeit he then throws himself back and you only barely manage to catch him.

“Oh, throwing tantrums now are we?” You ask the boy. “Hm. Why don’t you behave, Jaehaera is laughing at you.”

You glance over at the little girl and she covers her mouth as she continues to giggle.

You pull Aerion back up to his feet with one hand since you have Daenys on your lap, and watch your son begin to walk to your brother Aegon as he plays with his toys. Aerion then crouches and picks up a toy only to offer it to your brother. You smile and ignore the approaching footsteps until Vanessa clears her throat and tabs your hand.

You glance at her and see her looking to the side before she quickly stands up. You follow her line of gaze and see Cregan.

Seven hells! Fuck.

You’ve been avoiding him well for the past couple of days. Fuck!

“Your Grace,” he greets as he approaches your Queensguard blocking you from him.

Damn.

You stand up with your child in your arms and offer him a very small smile. “Lord Stark. It’s nice to see you. It’s okay, Ser Rodrick,” you tell your Knight. “You may stand aside.”

Said man nods and does as you say along with the others, leaving Cregan an open path. Yet he keeps his distance and bows his head.

“It’s an honor to finally be able to speak with you. It seems no matter how much I try I never can find you alone.” He says.

You scoff softly. “Well, my duties keep me busy now. I no longer am a ward.” You feign a laugh and give him this one time. This one chance.

You’re going to marry someone else after all. You need this.

“Dyana, take Aegon and Jaehaera back inside. Vanessa can stay here with me as I speak to Lord Stark.” You command, and watch the girl do just that before you glance at your Queensguard. And with only a simple look they walk away leaving you alone with Cregan.

“My old friend,” Cregan greets a lot more comfortably.

You scoff. “You’re older than me. Lord Stark.”

You’re angry at him but you don't show it here in front of the kids, instead, you smile and lift your baby. “Cregan, meet one of my twins, Daenys.” You introduce her.

Cregan looks at your child and tries to grab her hand but she turns away and hugs you instead.

“She’s just shy,” you let him know. “And a little grouchy.”

Daenys holds you tighter, making you giggle before you pull her back and hand her to Vanessa so you can walk over and bring Aerion over.

Cregan follows you and crouches down when you have your son at your side.

“This is my firstborn,” you say and caress Aerion’s head. “Aerion. Now my boy, why don’t you say hello.”

Aerion blinks and reaches down to grab a rock instead.

“How sweet,“ you mumble.

Aerion pulls his hand away from you to pick up the rock so you stand up and walk back to Vanessa to lastly take Daenerys.

“And this,” you say with pride. “This is Daenerys.” You turn and face Cregan as he now stands by you.

He doesn’t seem to notice her eyes at first, but he still offers her a gentle smile and a soft greeting. “Hello, little one. You look like your mother.”

Daenerys smiles at him and then reaches over to try and grab his Direwolf pin.

Cregan grins and pulls it off so she can touch it.

“Just be careful,” you warn him.

“I know,” Cregan assures you as he lets Daenerys feel the cold pin. When she tries to snatch it away he pulls back gently, making her look at him and meet his eyes.

And it's at that moment that he finally notices the difference; the other two had blue eyes like Aemond, but Daenerys’s eyes aren't blue, nor were they like yours, or those of your Velaryon family, Daenerys bore grey eyes like him.

Yet it's the familiarity of her eyes that makes his smile fade and causes your heart to skip a beat.

He stays quiet for a moment and just watches her, he thinks for a moment before he pulls his pin away and looks at you with a perplexed gaze. You smile and give him the answer to the question he doesn’t ask out loud. Cregan gasps softly and points at Daenys with his eyes, but you grab his arm to make him look at you.

And when he meets your gaze you shake your head. His eyebrows furrow, but you just sigh and caress Daenerys head. “So odd isn’t it?” You ask. “One twin with blue eyes. And the other with grey eyes.”

Cregan scoffs. “Truly I've never seen it before.” He says back and puts his pin away to look back at Daenerys with a smile. “May I?” He asks.

You nod. “Of course.” You hand him Daenerys, and she happily lets him hold her so she can continue to fiddle with the pin.

“I’ll have them make you one,” he tells the girl with excitement. “But in a pendant so you don’t poke yourself. Would you like that?”

He didn’t doubt you, or question you, he didn’t shun Daenerys, he seemed to be in awe of her right away.

Then again you once dreamed of having children together.

“She’s quite a happy baby,” you mention. “She smiles a lot. So it’s safe to say that she did not get that from her father.”

Cregan looks at you and stares at you for a moment before he chuckles. “Well, it’s good she got it from you then.”

You smile and watch him interact with Daenerys and you can’t help but think that this could’ve been your life with him. A good life with your children in Winterfell…

“You’ve been avoiding me,” Cregan says and makes you snap your eyes at him. “Why? Is your betrothed jealous?”

You scoff and take Daenerys from him. Daenerys then grabs your face before she pulls your hair and laughs.

“Aw well, aren't you a sweetheart?” You ask rhetorically and hand her to Vanessa before you look at Cregan. “Walk with me?”

“I can’t refuse a Queen now can I?” He says and follows you at your side as you begin to walk through the garden.

You smile and shake your head. “No, you cannot. It’s madness, isn’t it? Me being Queen.” You scoff softly and glance at the ground. “I never thought it would be a possibility.”

“Nor I, if I have to admit,” he says and glances at you. “Being Queen suits you though. You make a good Queen, a beautiful one at that.”

You shake your head. “You can’t say that to me,” you scold him softly.

“You aren't married yet, so I actually can. I actually can challenge your betrothed to a duel and I can take you back to Winterfell.”

You look at him and shoot him a pointed glare. “I’m a queen. I have my duties here. I can't just go back to Winterfell and be your Lady. Not after what happened, it can’t all be for nothing.”

“You killed Aegon, it won’t be for nothing, you’re allowed to live your life however you want now,” he argues. “You’re allowed to be happy, to give your children happy lives. And…Daenerys.”

“Daenerys is a Targaryen,” you correct him. “She will always be a Targaryen.”

Cregan stays quiet for a moment before he mutters. “She can still have a life in Winterfell.”

You shrug. “Perhaps, but not in the way you dream of. What you want can’t come true anymore,” you share the harsh truth and finally let out what has been trapped in your throat. “I can’t be your wife or your lady, I can’t be with you. You sealed that fate when you didn’t come. You were supposed to be there. My mother…”

“You know I tried to make it here to help,” he says and tries to comfort you by grabbing your shoulder, but you pull away. “But I have my people to help, I couldn’t abandon them.”

“You didn’t have to!” You argue. “You could've left someone there in your stead, and you could have helped her. You could have prevented her death, now…” you mewl as you’re on the verge of tears. “Every name day that passes, every year I get older I will see him killing her right in front of me,” you pause and begin to cry. “I will remember her body turning to ash, her turning to nothing, her dreams and her hopes burning away. I will remember that my brother won’t know her kindness, my own children will never know how sweet she was. I’ll never see her again. None of them.” You sniffle and stop to wipe away your tears.

Cregan stops walking and faces you with pity. “I’m sorry,” he whispers. “Trust me there will never be a day where I don’t regret it. But do you really think your mother would’ve wanted you to marry someone you didn’t love? Have a life you hated?”

You scoff. “It doesn’t matter,” you grimace. “She’s dead. She’s gone! And the girl you loved died that day with her. So yes Lord Stark I will marry a man I don't love, I will live a life I will always hate. I have to.” You face him and sob. “I’m sorry we could never have a chance at a happy life. I’m sorry there are oceans keeping us apart now. I really did want some life with you, but the gods are cruel and we have to live our lives apart now.”

Cregan swallows thickly and rather than getting upset he closes the gap left between you and wraps you in an embrace.

You hesitate but you return the embrace, you dig your head in his chest one last time and let yourself have this one last time before never again.

.

.

.

.

A/N- A couple more chapters until it’s over!

Tagged- @namelesslosers @stargaryenx @chainsawsangel @lauftivy @winxschester @cloudroomblog @llarue @padsdarlg @sofietargaryen @gracielikegrapes @dreaming-of-the-reality @itzelpeyton @patdsinner33 @mrsdominickstark @elaena-aerrin @todoroki-slut @snh96 @urmomsgirlfriend1 @nifujiswhore @sweethoneyblossom1 @kaetastic

[spyxfamilysmol]

[nanami-kento-archive]

Chapter 26

[fire-keys-and-wings]

Natsu and Lucy moments - FT100YQ Chapter 26

[saintsofwarding]

WE SHALL BE MONSTERS

Banner by @keltii-tea​

Chapter 26: A Lost Cause

Heisenberg's boots slammed into stone. The impact rang through him, echoing into the snowy darkness. He heard Mia's too-fast breathing, felt her warmth against him, her arms hooked around his neck, her face pressed to his scruffy cheek.

After a beat, her arms slid free, and she stood on her own, by his side in the darkness.

Around them spread the pit. They stood on a chunk of broken fortress, red brick seared black from the force of the bomb. Past its edge rang empty air, the depths of the crater. Where they stood, moonlight illuminated well enough to see, but in those depths there was nothing, no trace of light. Just the echoes of lycan snarls, the occasional clatter of falling stones, a deep, subsonic rumble that might have been rock shifting, might have been something else.

Water rushed close by, a gout pouring from a gap between two fallen pillars. It spackled Heisenberg's face with cold mist as he strode to the edge of the platform to shine his hip flashlight down into the dark.

It yawned below, endless and absolute. Mist and fog and a kind of grimy haze unfurled around him; each inhale stung with cold, and mold, and the smell of a place long-since removed from the sun. Usually, a big pit full of garbage was Heisenberg's idea of a perfect vacation. Less so right now. Chalk that one up to circumstance.

"I guess that's where we're headed," Mia muttered.

"Guess so."

She sniffed. "In sickness and in health, right?" she said, with a hiccuping little laugh. Then, in a kind of rush- "God, I miss him."

"Yeah?"

"Everything," she pressed. "Everything about him. You know- when I first met Ethan we were just a couple dumb college kids and I..."

Her laugh softened. "I thought he was unbelievably boring."

"Heh. No kidding."

"It was at this house party I didn't even want to be at, and he was in the corner with a red solo cup, and he was dancing to the music in the straightest way possible, I mean-" She demonstrated, holding herself stiffly while she bobbed her head and tapped her thigh in time. "But I didn't know anyone, and I ended up in the corner of shame with him."

"Let me guess. Love at first sight?"

"No!" she snorted. "It took like...three more accidental meetings before he awkwardly asked me to go get coffee, and he turned the brightest shade of red I've ever seen. And it was easy from there. Being with him. It was good. It was so, so good."

Her expression was lethal, like the sun was shining on her face. Hard not to notice her beauty, now, even through the hard days of grime and bruises and exhaustion.

"It crept up on me," she said. "Love. Little by little. That's how he was. You don't think about it, and then you realize what he's done. What he's been doing, all along. What he'd do for the people he cared about."

Her brief look of joy, lost in memories, faded.

"It was the big stuff I missed most, at first," she went on. "But now...it's the little stuff, really, you know? Redfield shuttled me from safe house to safe house after you took Rose, and I thought at first it would be a relief. Nothing to remind me of them, changing scenery, all that. But it's funny how losing someone works. You don't run away from it. The world remakes itself into the shape of that person."

She lifted her face, her profile limned with the red moonlight.

"He'd play piano, sometimes," she said. "Late at night. He always said he wasn't any good. But I'd stay up and listen without him knowing. I'd listen until he was done. Every time."

"He probably knew," Heisenberg said.

A faint smile touched Mia's face as her eyes turned, slowly, to rest on him. Heisenberg felt the weight of her gaze, its soft intensity, like she'd reached up to take his face in her hands.

"How long until dawn?" she asked.

"Hour, maybe."

"Then we're burning time." She cocked her rifle, checked its sights, gave a short nod. "Into the dark."

"And let's hope it doesn't fuck us."

The first few lycans jumped them as they skidded down the scree of broken masonry on the far side of the platform. Classic lycans, hairy wolf-men with makeshift weapons. Mia's rifle spat; Heisenberg crushed a couple skulls with his hammer. His Cadou wriggled inside him, sluggish as it struggled to metabolize the suppressant drug he'd been shot with. He kept his awareness engaged, but metal didn't sing; no hum or crackle of electricity. For the time being, he'd have to do this thing without the use of his power.

Fucking touche. Miranda had given him his powers, had twisted his body into a vessel for them. Typical that now he'd have to fight her without their help. He imagined her face, coldly beautiful. Her smile of calculated triumph.

Show me what you can do now, Little Karl.

Go on. I'm waiting.

One of the lycans lunged for him; he smashed it aside with particular force, splatting it against a block of cracked stone that still bore the paintings of dolorous, long-faced saints, rendered in faded blues and reds. Lots more red, now.

He twisted as gunfire cracked over his shoulder: Mia. The next lycan crumbled apart, its head and chest blown into chunks.

"I had it covered," Heisenberg drawled, shouldering his hammer as he flicked a fragment of crystal off his lapel.

"Uh-huh." Mia scanned the darkness, rifle trained outside their circle of light; howls echoed through the fog, but nothing leaped out at them immediately. "Anything here look familiar to you?"

"Nothing looks familiar to me, sweetheart, this place got put through a meat-grinder."

"That's not what I mean." She huffed a sigh. "I saw the explosion from the chopper. It...it went off in midair, not on the ground. The megamycete had lifted itself free of the cave system. If it blew aboveground, not below, the, uh- the-"

"Chunks?"

"...Sure. The chunks would have rained down on this place. Crushed it."

And Ethan below, Heisenberg thought. Mia must have come to the same conclusion, judging by the haunted look in her eyes.

"Your point?" Heisenberg prompted.

She gave her head a little, annoyed shake. "My point is that maybe there's something intact. Down below."

She pointed further into the pit. "Part of the old fortress, part of the old ceremony site...a cave system...I don't know."

"Could be."

Mia cocked her gun. The snap rang through the fog. "Let's find out."

The haunted look was gone as soon as it had come; now, Heisenberg saw the fever light of determination fill her gaze. That determination must have been what had allowed her to survive all these years, even with Miranda's ghost rattling around in her skull.

Had she known what it was at first? Or had she chalked it up to trauma, PTSD, what the fuck ever?

Of course, she was no stranger to voices in her head. She'd survived Dulvey, too. Three years under Eveline's control, three years of fighting the horrors inflicted on her by the child she'd helped mold into a monster. You had to emerge from that unfathomably strong, or completely insane. As Heisenberg followed her down the crumbling, makeshift pathway, spiraling deeper and deeper into the darkness, he wondered if she hadn't emerged as both.

More lycans. From all directions. They hit fast, hit strong. The smell of rot thickened in the air as Heisenberg and Mia descended, and between the bursts of claws and fangs and gunfire pound, Heisenberg caught sight of the various makeshift dwellings the lycans had fashioned from bits of the village, stacked stones, animal skins, antlers and gnawed bones. Even crude ornaments, dangling from entryways, crow feathers and pebbles, vertebrae and chunks of crystal.

What god did the lycans worship? Their memory of Miranda, and the Black God? Or some eldritch thing birthed from the dregs of their hive-mind, the kind of god only a feral predator could dream up?

Eyes glimmered from caves formed from collapsed pillars; one lycan, massive and musclebound, wore scraps of what looked like scavenged Soldat Panzer exoskeleton, a walking biomechanical wonder.

What an enterprising lad. Shame he had to die.

That was a group effort- Heisenberg swept forward and with a colossal swing of his hammer, smashed the front plate of its helmet off, exposing a scarred-up face twisted with rage. Mia sprang under his arm and delivered the coup de grace in the form of a bullet to the gob. As it slumped to the side, raining in shards into the darkness below, Mia paused, breathing hard, scanning their surroundings. Heisenberg did the same, but there was nothing. More lycan dens, more broken masonry, more blocks of cracked stone wreathed in mist.

A chorus of growls and snarls, the screech of claws in stone, scrabbled somewhere behind them. Mia pushed off; Heisenberg followed her. She was in charge, now, a woman on a mission. Her head down, she ducked under a gateway formed of blocks of fallen stone and into a narrow channel beyond, a ravine formed of rubble. Lycans advanced. She sprayed an arc of bullets, her lips drawn back from her teeth. When one collapsed at her feet, wounded, still crawling toward her, she drove her boot onto its head, crushing it to the dirt.

"Come on!" she yelled at Heisenberg, a few meters behind her, and headed into the fog again. "There has to be something- we just need to keep looking!"

"Mia," Heisenberg muttered.

"Don't you dare say my name like that," Mia snapped, glancing back at him. "He would do this for me. He...he already did this for me. I have to keep looking." "I know-"

"Then keep up!"

She rounded a corner and almost ran head-first into a knot of lycans. She stumbled back; her rifle came up, muzzle flash illuminating the fog in one, two, three bursts. Crystal shattered, bone reduced to hissing pulp under the anti-mutant rounds. Mia's scream filled the air as the lycans fell, as she demolished the next wave, and the next.

They were coming, and in force; Heisenberg glanced up at the ring of glimmering green eyes, the bared fangs, the rusty metal and pieces of broken antler clutched in clawed hands. With a little shake of his shoulders, he waded in. His hammer swung through the flashes of gunfire, through Mia's howl of rage as she fought them back, on and on until the air was as thick with gore as it was with fog, a bloody mist that clung in a pinkish sheen to Heisenberg's coat and dripped down from his hat brim.

The last of the lycans crumbled apart, ribs gaping to the sky. Mia stared at it, panting, eyes white-ringed and bright. She slumped against a block of ancient brick, closing her eyes.

"Mia," Heisenberg said, approaching her. He reached out for her arm. A gash had sliced through her sweater- a lycan's claw swipe- and bled freely down the thick material.

She rounded on him with a gasp, lifting her rifle. Its barrel knocked him in the middle of the chest; he didn't flinch.

"Do you understand?" Mia said. "I have to keep looking."

"I know."

"He...he's dead because...because I didn't tell him, because I...lured him there..." Her rifle barrel dipped. She shook her head back and forth, glazed and manic. "If...if I hadn't, he would still be alive. He would still be-"

"Eveline did that. Right? Not you."

A sob choked her. "You don't get it. It doesn't matter." She shoved back from him, stumbling through the rubble. "It doesn't matter. I-"

She drew a short breath. "I..."

She blinked.

"You what?" Heisenberg said.

"I recognize that," Mia said, staring over his shoulder.

Heisenberg turned. It reared through the devastation: part of a gateway, attached to a short, broken flight of steps. Heavy, blocky, chiseled from red-brown rock. The same bedrock the village had been built atop; the same stone he'd stared at for countless hours while Miranda indoctrinated him, or sliced into him, or rummaged around in his insides, trying to perfect him. He remembered the flicker of flame-shadows off its surface, the play of flashlight beams on its distant walls.

"Shit," Mia breathed.

She moved past Heisenberg and toward the gateway. It listed to one side, half-sunk into the earth, but it was still connected to something. Mia vaulted onto the steps and climbed up, pulling herself onto the lip of the gateway and balancing atop it to peer inside. Heisenberg followed, setting the head of his hammer against the frame, staring in after her.

Beyond-

A narrow cleft of darkness breathed frigid air across them.

"This was the entrance to the lab," Mia murmured. "I remember from when she brought me here. I remember thinking...it looked beautiful. Like an ancient temple. Something from a dream..."

"Yeah, well, bet she broke you of that opinion real fuckin' fast."

Mia sniffed, scrubbing her bloodied palm over her face. Heisenberg could hear her heartbeat, fast as a hare in a trap's. He knew what she was thinking, as much as if they shared a hive mind themselves. Miranda's lab had been built right below the ceremony site. The caves, too. The hallowed cathedral in the earth, the inner sanctum of the Black God.

Ethan had died right above the caves, and if they were still, in some way, intact, and the whole place had fallen in...

Well.

Mia was silent. No big surprise. Few words sufficed when staring down at the tomb of a loved one.

Heisenberg glanced at her.

"You gonna stand there all night?" he said.

She gave a small shudder, as if bracing herself, then shook her head. "No." And without another pause, she stepped over the edge and dropped into the darkness below.

Heisenberg was right behind her, clambering down the three-meter incline and into the passageway beyond. The cavern stretched beyond, a hallway chiseled of that same bedrock stone, torch brackets set into the walls, the floor scattered with chips of stone and a decade's worth of dust. Great cracks seamed the walls, but the place was intact, relatively speaking, the entire hallway tilted downward at a sharp angle.

In the explosion the entire cavern system must have just fallen into the earth, the tons of rock above it burying, yet also preserving, it. Like a mausoleum. As Heisenberg took a deep breath of the still, damp air, he smelled a familiar trace of incense, rich spices and musk winding its way deep into his skull, illuminating the century of memories locked within.

How many times had he walked this hallway? How many times had he strode between enshrined saints, hammer dripping with their devotees' blood? A traitor in their midst, an impostor saint, a false prophet's mongrel. They stared down at him now, statues of long-dead holy men anointed with dust, with the crystallized remains of their dead god.

He thought of Ouroboros' files on him, the rote, dry facts of his unnatural life that Mia had offered to him, and that he had refused. If the devout were right, these saints had seen those years, too, had whispered the litany of his life to the Black God itself, so it might dream of him forever. Did they remember him now, all the things he'd done, who he truly was, even if he didn't?

Didn't matter. Fuck them. Their god had demanded death, and if Heisenberg knew one thing, it was that everyone got what was coming round to them.

Mia's breathing quickened as the caves sloped down, and down, as they climbed over a stream gushing from a crack in the cave wall, as her boots crunched on broken glass, and crystal, and the remnants of a shattered gilt icon.

And when Heisenberg's flashlight beam struck the bolt-studded wood of a door, her gasp was painful, a blade-edge rasp on the edge of a sob.

It was warped in the broken frame, but as Heisenberg and Mia alike set their weight against it, it juddered open, spilling a cloud of dust and light into the broken space beyond.

Miranda's lab, Heisenberg thought.

The remains of her lab, anyway, the vaulted chambers where she'd conducted her personal experiments well-away from the eyes of the villagers. Couldn't have them believing she was capable of anything less than sorcery, after all. A column of ruddy moonlight filtered down from a rift in the cavern roof somewhere high above, filling the ruins with a bloody pall. A shelf of shattered specimen jars, each filled with a lump of crystal that had once been a Cadou, leaned drunkenly against a collapsed heap of brick wall. Shreds of decomposed papers and files were scattered like leaves; Heisenberg scuffed aside a damp-spotted photograph of Moreau without his overcoat. Crushed tables, and broken glass, and cell bars bent and warped from the bomb's heat. Everywhere, calcified roots burst from walls and floor, crushing the lab into a nearly-unrecognizable mess.

Above all loomed the broken remains of a statue. One of the Four Kings that had once ringed the ceremony site. His melancholy face was blackened on one side, a point of his crown snapped off at the root.

This was the ceremony site, Heisenberg realized, collapsed inward, crushed into this cavern space. He sent his awareness, all his enhanced senses, into the darkness. Searching for a trace, a flicker of hibernating essence, of a mutant in stasis.

Silence.

"Ethan?" Mia called. She pushed forward, stumbling over the calcified roots. "Ethan? Are you there?"

She bent and began to dig through the rubble with her bare hands. Stone clattered; dust billowed, thick and choking. "He's...he's got to be here...could he have regenerated? Like the others? Ethan!"

Her voice rang over the distant rush of water, the sound of crumbling stone, echoing from deeper inside the ruins. Heisenberg picked his way after her as she dug her way on, as she clawed at the broken masonry, her eyes wild, her entire body shaking.

"I know he's here," she said. "Heisenberg, you've got to...you've..." She took a sharp breath, jagged and choked. "He'll be so glad to see you. You saved Rose, after all- you're gonna..."

She cut off as she bent to drag aside a slab of flagstone floor. "We're all going to be a family again. Just like I planned. You'll see. You'll see..."

She trailed off. The echoes of her voice rang away and away, fading into dusty silence. Heisenberg caught up to her, watching the back of her head, the rise and fall of her shoulders.

Before her, the column of moonlight glimmered off milky crystal.

Ethan's body lay at her feet.

He was broken. One arm missing, shattered off at the shoulder. His face had cracked down the middle, his single remaining eye closed. He knelt there, head lowered, his body half-buried, his hand clasped to his heart.

The crystal there had warped in strange, intricate patterns. In this light, they almost looked like roses.

Mia made a small sound. She edged forward, one step, another.

"Is he..." she whispered. "Is...is there..."

"No, Mia," Heisenberg said. Weary, weary. "There's...nothing. Nothing left. He's gone."

She reached out with a trembling hand. "It's okay, baby." She smoothed it over his cheek, thumb tracing his lips. "It's okay. I found you, didn't I?"

All at once, she fell to her knees, holding his face, holding him. Her shoulders curled in; she shook under the weight of her tears. Terrible, wracking, like they'd been torn from deep inside her. She buried her face in the broken crook of Ethan's neck and sobbed, her hands in white-knuckled fists, clinging onto his body as if that would prove enough to bring him back.

***

Mia's sobs wound down into silence, and the hush crept in. Still she held him. Heisenberg leaned on his hammer, eyes lowered, watching the dust dance in the moonlight.

Saints and gods, sacred words whispered in the dark. There was nothing holy here anymore. Nothing sacred. All of it had died with Ethan, with his last kiss pressed to little Rose's head. All of it was gone with him.

At last, Mia let Ethan's body go. She crawled away, into a corner of the rubble, where she sat, slumped over her knees, staring into nothingness.

"I think part of me always knew," she said after a while. "All this time. All these wasted years." She gave her head a little shake. "I was so stupid to think I could save him. To think I could make this all better, make all this go away. I already got my chance for that."

Heisenberg made himself speak. "Yeah, you did."

She closed her eyes, bowing her head.

"Doesn't mean he loved you any less." Heisenberg approached her. "Doesn't mean you get to give up now."

She laughed, emotionless. "Too late."

"No. No." He swooped to one knee at her side, grabbing her face in his hand. He turned her head, away from Ethan's body, toward him. "No, Mia. You don't get to. Because if you do then so do I. You understand?"

He gave her a shake. He felt her tremble under his glove, her face so close to his he could see the tears clinging to her lashes, the blood spackling her mouth.

"You don't give up, Mia," he said. He ran his thumb over her lips, taking the bloodstains with it. "I'm not gonna let you."

Slowly, he released her face. His fingertips left red welts against her skin. "We might have failed Ethan," he said. "But Rose is still out there. And we. Won't. Fail. Her."

She blinked. A flutter of lashes. Then something seemed to leave her. Mia's head slumped forward, against his chest, one hand curling into his shirt, pulling herself closer, against him. The other brushed the scar crossing his throat, the scruff at his jaw, a lock of dirty gray hair.

Heisenberg hesitated. She was so warm against him. He felt the pressure of her breathing on his skin. The gentle pulse of her heartbeat.

Another long moment of silence, of dust and ruin around them. Just two horrible people, kneeling together in the dark.

Then he lifted his hand and ran it, slowly, over her hair. It was just as filthy as his. Something kind of sweet about that.

"I think I already failed her enough," Mia murmured, as he stroked her head. "Ethan...Ethan would want me to live. To keep fighting."

"Yeah, probably."

"Are you gonna be any more comforting than that?"

"Sweetheart. We've spent the past few days in each other's fine company. Surely you know better by now."

"Right, right, fine."

"Besides. We still have enemies, even once the other Lords deal with Ouroboros," Heisenberg went on. A snarl entered his voice. "Don't you want the chance to destroy that bitch Miranda for good after what she did to you?"

"You're such a bad influence," Mia told him. "Ruining all my aspirations toward achieving a moral high ground."

"Cool your jets, Winters. You managed that all by yourself." He pressed his forehead to hers for a moment, then pulled her to her feet. "Any bright ideas on how we can deal with that big, bad artillery unit topside?"

A dark light entered Mia's eyes. "I'm sure I can think of something."

She pulled from his hands and went to Ethan's remains, kneeling once again at his side. The moonlight filled its facets, made it seem to glow softly from within. Mia brushed her hand over his crystallized hair, as if to straighten it. She clasped his hand, stroking her thumb over the ridge of his knuckles.

"Goodbye, my love," she whispered to him, and leaned forward, and pressed a kiss to his forehead. "I promise I'll come back for you."

***

Another burst of flames lit the sky as Heisenberg and Mia emerged from the crater depths. Even down here, the air smelled like ashes, cutting over even the overwhelming reek of lycan and rotting flesh.

"What's your power situation?" Mia asked.

Heisenberg splayed a hand, then shrugged, the movement accentuated by the hammer propped on his shoulder. "Still suffering from projectile dysfunction."

"Of course you are. Ugh..." She was checking over her weapons, taking stock. "Shit. I'm almost out of ammo."

"Then make what you've got count."

She glanced up at him. Her eyes were red-rimmed, dark circles so pronounced her face had a faintly cadaverous appearance, a new sharpness. Something inside her had set, and hardened. He heard it in her voice, too. "If I can get to that lab with the lycans, there's gonna be an antidote. It should get your Cadou metabolizing fast enough to work through the suppressant."

"Uh-huh." He'd barely heard her after she said the words lab with the lycans. "Now there's an idea."

"I'm almost afraid to ask."

"Are you, though?" He grinned at her. "I'll explain on the climb up."

Another artillery shot blasted the skies as they reached the lip of the crater, Mia sporting a couple new scratches courtesy of the lycans. If she was in pain, she didn't show it. She scrambled to a rock shelf behind a copse of trees and crouched down, rifle at the ready like some kind of black ops guy from one of the shitty action movies Heisenberg had binged with Rose.

He ambled behind her, squinting over his glasses at the camp. With Regan and company gone, the amount of soldiers was cut down significantly. Still, he could see the black-armored figures ringing the artillery, moving in and out of the prefabs, keeping the lycans back from the fence as, above, the Rose monster dived and strafed through the clouds, the pressure of its wingbeats driving spikes of pain through his head.

Well, fuck me, he thought, a little impressed despite himself. Somehow, the artillery fire was keeping her back.

And maybe something else was, too.

Keep fighting, kid. I'm coming for you. I told you I would, didn't I?

Still, Ouroboros knew what they were doing when it came to holding off giant flying bioweapons. And he had little doubt Regan had left orders to shoot them both in the head if they showed their faces in camp without Ethan in tow. And he wasn't about to suggest Mia bring his corpse back up to use as protective coloration.

Well. He might have. Her face if he did would be something to behold. But right now, it would only waste time.

"There," Mia whispered, pointing. One of the lycans had wriggled partway through a gnawed gap in the fence; a bullet drove it back, and it hightailed, but the loose scrap of fence lingered. "Through there, and to the lab."

"After you."

Mia gave herself a little nod- then darted. She streaked through the shadows, little more than a flicker of movement, a scatter of snow, ducking and rolling through the fence before the artillery unit's searchlight swept the area. Heisenberg shook his head in approval and followed, somewhat less gracefully, shoving his shoulders through the fence and into the camp in a clatter of metal. Fuck this, he thought, grinding his teeth. The second he got his powers back, he was taking this whole goddamn camp and crushing it like a car compacter.

Pressing into the shadows cast by an old house, he and Mia watched the flurry of movement in camp. Soldiers trooped by; a temporary munitions stand had been set up alongside the Maiden of War, gunmetal and carbon-fiber at odds with the crystal growths and painted wood surrounding them. The heat from the artillery unit shimmered in the air, melting the snow into a glassy sheen over the ground below.

Heisenberg eyed the artillery, assessing it with a flick of his eyes. Simple enough. A lot like the ones he'd spent decades playing with back at his factory, mounting them on anything stout enough to hold them purely for the fun of seeing how the vehicle in question held up under fire. Pop a couple wires here and there, and the whole weapon would be dead in the water.

First things first. He jerked his head toward the lab with brows raised.

"Hang on," Mia whispered. She stared toward the group of Moreau-aficionados still huddled on one side of the square. They had all joined hands and were singing in old-tongue, some ancient prayer to the Black God for protection. "We need to get them out."

"Seriously?"

"Yes!" she hissed. "Moral high ground, remember? Shut up and follow me."

They ducked through the ruined house itself and came up behind the prisoners. A punch from Heisenberg launched their guard straight into unconsciousness; he yanked him backward into the house, leaving him in a heap on the kitchen floor.

The girl with the shaved head gasped as Mia shook her shoulder, then blinked, her pale eyes widening so far they looked as if a good slap might knock them right out of her head.

She flung herself to her hands and knees as best she could in her shackles. "Lord Heisen-"

"Shut it," Heisenberg growled. "And listen."

"We're gonna get you out of here. This place is about to turn into a shitshow," Mia said. "You need to get as far away as you can before-"

"-Before I release all the lycans in that lab over there on the poor, unsuspecting fools you see before you," Heisenberg cut in.

The girl's mouth opened in a perfect O. "The lycans?" she echoed.

"That's what I said. Now how do these cuffs-"

The girl babbled over him. "Lord...Lord Moreau prophesied this. He in his infinite wisdom...he saw that this day would pass, that there would come a time when I, and his other loyal followers, would need to walk through the ranks of the monster wolves themselves, and emerge unscathed from the other side!"

She launched into rummaging through the mess of amulets and charms she wore slung about her neck, her skinny fingers trembling. At last she came up with a phial attached to a long piece of cord. It was made of old, yellowed glass, sealed with a gob of wax. Inside swirled a thick black substance.

"This holy relic will protect us against the lycans," the girl said.

"What is that?" Mia squinted at the stuff.

But Heisenberg grinned, with as many teeth as a lycan itself.

"It's spores," he said. "From the Black God. Take too long to get into the science, but this shit's what the megamycete seeded its hosts with to maintain control, stop them from slaughtering one another. Anything with this stuff on them will read as one of the lycans. They'll smell it on us and ignore us."

He chuckled. "Well, well. Moreau, you clever bastard. There's hope for you yet."

"It won't last long, so you must hurry," the girl said. She had already popped the wax and was busy smearing the other cultists with the black spores.

"Nag, nag, nag, buttercup," Heisenberg said. The girl pressed the vial into his hand, holding on for a moment. He tugged his hand away before she might start kissing it or whatever. "Get ready to run along to the reservoir. Your- uh, Lord Moreau's down there."

Elation lit the girl's eyes. "Black God bless you, Lord Heisenberg."

He didn't bother pointing out the Black God would probably rather eat him than bless him. He rubbed a streak of spores on his wrist, then did the same for Mia.

The monster strafed by; it swept through the clouds, the backdraft from its wings blasting through the camp. The timbre of its roars had changed- they now were an enraged, thunderous bellow, each strafe growing lower, lower, shaking the ground like the aftershocks of an earthquake.

Was Miranda winning?

Hang on, Rose.

Shouts filled the air as Heisenberg and Mia burst from the ruined house, Mia peppering the snow with suppressing fire, keeping back the few soldiers who weren't focused on the black-feathered monstrosity circling ever-closer. One of its tentacles lashed down, tearing a gash from the roof of a dilapidated house, then furling back into the clouds. Heisenberg's hammer cracked skulls, shattered firing hands, sent the door guard sprawling aside as they ducked into the lab.

The sterile air hit him like a punch to the teeth, light burning his eyes. The researchers within all sprang to their feet, scrabbling for the peashooters at their belts. Mia stuck her rifle under the first guy's chin.

"Get out of here," she growled.

The gun would have been enough, Heisenberg figured. But Mia's whole look- ragged and bruised and splattered with lycan gore- sure as hell didn't hurt. The scientists scattered. Mia pushed a rolling chair aside and tapped at a computer, its pale light illuminating the lines on her face. Behind them, the rows of lycans clawed at their cages, desperate to get out.

"You got the accelerant?" Heisenberg said.

Her eyes flickered back and forth. "I...I don't see it-"

Shouts echoed outside the lab. Heisenberg leaned alongside Mia. "Come on, it's gotta be there somewhere-"

"I-"

Gunfire pounded the air. Heisenberg ducked over Mia, bringing them both down against the console as the air filled with sparks and the rattle of bullets against metal; the lab door hung crooked, half-torn-away by gunfire. They were coming in.

Heisenberg saw it, now. There was no time. They'd run out of options.

All except one.

Fuck it, he decided. "Mia."

"What?"

"Release the lycans. Then get to the big gun."

"Huh?"

"I'm going after Rose. Fend her off with the artillery so I can draw her away."

"Without your power?"

"I don't need my power for this. I know Rose. And Miranda." He pressed his finger to his temple. "I can fuck with her head just like she fucked with mine. Now you get your ass out the door and into that gun or we're all screwed."

She rounded on him, the small of her back pressed to the console. For a moment he thought she would protest. For a moment he thought she'd try to stop him, spare him, like she'd fought so hard to spare Ethan. Her face was hard, the look in her eyes bright enough to burn him alive.

He heard the hiss of her breathing through her parted lips, made out the tremble of her lashes as her eyes held his.

Slowly, Mia slipped his glasses off his nose. She lifted her face, her knuckles to his chest as she gripped his shirt in both hands, as she pulled him down, as her mouth canted, desperate, devastating, to his.

A hesitation-

A brush of her mouth, a lilt of her lips over his-

And then she was kissing him, and her fingers were tangled in his hair; his hands found Mia's face, her waist, the soft press of her hips into his. Her lips were chapped, were bitter with blood. For a moment he was lost, adrift, nothing in the world but the feeling of her mouth on his, of her grip on him, her knuckles pressed hard to his chest, just over his living, beating heart.

Her face fell from his, her mouth from his, her face brushing his cheek with a rasp of scruff to skin. The cold twined between them again. Heisenberg's heart pounded, his Cadou pulsing in time; pressed to him the way she was, Mia probably felt that as much as she felt everything else. He didn't care. He traced her cheek with his thumb, not wanting to pull away, not wanting to let her go.

"We can still cut and run," he murmured. He cocked an eyebrow. "Last chance."

Mia snorted. She nudged her forehead to his, kissed the delicate skin just under his jaw. All too soon, she pulled back.

"Go," she told him. She returned his shades to his face. "Find Rose. Get her back."

She stood from him, gripping the cage control on the console- a big, red handle surrounded by warning signs. "For Ethan."

Heisenberg gave her a single nod, his hat brim dipping. "See you around," he said. "Winters."

Her small returning smile would stick with him a long, long time. "You, too," she told him. "Karl."

He swung his hammer back onto his shoulder with a clang.

Mia turned the handle.

With the screech of hinges, every cage in the lab swung open at once. The lycans lunged out, a seething tide of matted gray hair and savage, starving eyes, claws and twisted muscle and teeth asnarl. Moreau's spores did the trick- none of them paid any attention to Heisenberg or Mia. As the creatures leaped for the exits, tearing great holes in the prefab walls with tooth and nail, as they hit the Ouroboros soldiers outside hard and fast as a lightning strike, Heisenberg strode out after them, rummaging in his coat for a cigar.

Just like old times, he thought. Practically nostalgic.

By the time he ducked back into the camp, it was in chaos. Gunfire lit the skies, muffled under screams, snarls, feral howls as the lycans clambered atop buildings and vehicles, as they took down commandos three to one. A couple of the beasts tore through the fence, collapsing it under their weight. More lycans surged in from outside, tangling and tumbling over one another in their greed to get in at the fresh meat.

The screams began to die, began to be replaced with the sound of tearing flesh, of bones snapping and crackling from their joints.

Heisenberg lit the cigar with what appeared to be the last of his matches as he left the camp, as he ascended the rise beyond. If he was gonna die today, might as well do so feeling like himself. The cigar tasted a little stale, a little moldy, but it was better than nothing.

Besides. A good Cuban was a good Cuban, and- even better- it looked like it was gonna be a nice morning.

At the edge of the horizon, past the mountains, a faint trace of gold lit the blizzard. Dawn. It illuminated the monster, illuminated the impossible span of its eight wings, the rain of mold sheeting down from them as the artillery fire ceased- gunner dead or tossed out on their ass, courtesy of Mia. As the monster wheeled round, coming back in his direction.

Heisenberg took a deep drag off his cigar, let the smoke twine through his lungs- one last time, heh- then flicked it to the snow and crushed it under his boot.

He lifted his arms to the monster.

"Miranda!" he yelled. "Remember me?"

And in a rush of darkness, the beast that was Miranda, that was Rose, fell from the skies, wings spread, talons open and aimed straight for him.