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moosemonstrous · 4 months

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Ghost Rider Pacific Rim AU - night classes

“It’s so cool,” Gabe pulls his face down to get a better look at his eye. “You’re like Dr Luo! Is it like that forever now?”

Robbie wracks his brain for an image of Dr Luo – he’s pretty sure that’s one of the bad guys in Ninja Wolf. Wait, this hurts your feelings? That’s hilarious. It’s nothing. He’s just glad Gabe isn’t freaked out by the way his pupil is still misshapen, the surrounding iris cloudy-brown from the broken blood vessels. Dr Montesi said the damage is mostly cosmetic, but seemed a little taken aback that he could see without much trouble. She spent the majority of their appointment frowning and making notes while Cho rattled off incomprehensible test results. They clearly arrived at some sort of a reluctant conclusion, but didn’t translate it into non-PhD, so all he knows is that he needs to go into the resonance machine again, this time for a full-body scan. MRI became MRS, which will apparently make all the difference.

He’s been prescribed extra rations. He’s already struggling to finish what the mess hall considers regular ones – but Gabe is always hungry after finishing his, so it’s hardly a problem.

“It should go back to normal in a couple of weeks,” he says as Gabe pulls his lower eyelid down. “How was school, anyway? Did you meet anyone new?”

While school-prep was essentially quarantine, proper ‘school’ turns out to be something of a misnomer – it’s a classroom attached to the unattended minors centre where the whole base dumps their kids when their guardians are at work, or otherwise occupied. Sometimes, after a demon attack, some of the children find themselves permanent residents until alternative care can be arranged. It’s good for them to be used to the environment.

“We’ve been notified you will be joining the academy,” the teacher told Robbie while Gabe was saying goodbye to his new classmates. He didn’t offer congratulations. “You don’t need to worry about the schedule. I know Major Brooks likes to run his sessions long.”

Major Brooks can like his sessions on the moon for all Robbie cares. He’s not letting Gabe live out of a temp bunk full of abandoned and orphaned children. The nightmare he had, the one about dying in The Charger – Didn’t die. – still makes him uneasy, and he has no plans on joining any strike teams. Besides, it seems a little unfair – as in any other childcare facility he’s ever seen, the staff are stretched thin and never paid enough for all they’re asked to do. Robbie can’t imagine preparing for a shift with sixty kids and ending up with a hundred, because someone up in the dome ran an exercise for an extra two hours.

That’s because you’ve never been in a Kwoon ring. Trust me, it’s better than hanging around a cripple all day.

He freezes. Was that–

“...and Lin said her dad can make me elbow pads like hers,” Gabe finishes recounting. Crap, Robbie didn’t mean to space out like that. “I want to draw her a picture from her story. Can we get the book?”

Gabe has a school-issued tablet that came complete with a stern warning about selling Shatterdome property. It takes Robbie longer than he’d like to figure out how to access the online library. Every piece of technology they get is second-hand or renovated, and still years ahead of what he could afford back in L.A.

The e-reader has adjustable text size and screen contrast, and a read-aloud option. Damn, you’re easy to impress. The book Gabe requested seems to be some sort of a video game novelisation.

This is all too good to be true, he thinks when Gabe is busy finishing his second helping of noodle soup while following the text along to the narrator in his earphones. The stipend he’s getting from medical is slightly less than what he’d make as a mechanic, and nowhere near enough to save up and leave, but so much on the base is provided for free it’s not really a concern. It feels not unlike the first few weeks in their own flat back in Hillrock Heights – a to-date unprecedented amount of comfort. That lasted only seven months before the demon attack. According to the countdown display, the next one is due in three weeks.

“Robbie-Robbie,” Gabe sing-songs without looking away from the screen. “Your soup is getting cold.”

“You’re holding it wrong. Extend your thumb,” Robbie says to his dad, grabbing his staff to demonstrate.

Dad is only a couple of inches taller than him. He rolls his eyes. He looks… fond.

“I can still knock the snot out of you, soldier boy.”

Robbie laughs. It sounds forced. “Yeah? That a threat?”

“Hell yeah.” Dad looks a little unsure for a moment. “Seriously, Juliana is watching. Go easy on me, huh?”

Robbie doesn’t remember having dreams like that before. Normal stuff, sometimes nightmares, but never these… these weird whole-scene narratives. He lies in his cot for a good ten minutes, trying to level his breathing; it felt so real. His arms ache.

Four in. Hold four. Four out. It’s being in the Shatterdome. Back in the Shatterdome. It’s messing with whatever… block he’s got in his head. There are records – classified, but maybe if he asked–

Or you could just plug back into The Charger. It’s got what you need.

Is it weird that Gabe doesn’t seem interested? Then again, he was too little to remember dad at all. He stopped asking after mom fairly quickly too. It used to be a point of pride for Robbie – he could do it by himself. They didn’t need anyone else.

He presses his knuckles into his eyes until he sees sparks. Jesus, pull yourself together. Right. He swings down from his bunk and goes to wake Gabe up – he’s been sleeping like a log with all the noise suppression in the crew quarters. They have morning routine down to the minute – roll out the kinks from Gabe’s legs and lower back, make sure he doesn’t try to spit out the one pill that doesn’t come in a sugar shell, decant the rest of the day’s meds plus emergency supply into the plastic container, check the medical info sheet is still in his backpack where it’s supposed to be. Gabe showers in the evenings, and Robbie in the mornings while he gets dressed. Back in L.A., the harried social worker he used to harass for advice mentioned that now Gabe is a teenager, Robbie needs to occasionally leave him alone behind a closed door, and this is the best he can offer – other than never, ever thinking about it any further in any detail.

All the kids get meals at the beginning of each shift, so he drops Gabe off first before looping back to the mess hall for his prescription food. Most of everything on offer is vegetarian, but with his new academy assignment Robbie can technically access the pork. It’s half eight in the morning – he has to solemnly promise the old lady behind the counter that he won’t starve to death on just rice and beans.

It turns out to be the wrong choice.

Tony waves Amadeus over to the edge of the viewing platform and points to the mat to the far side of the gym, where Robbie Reyes is getting his ass handed to him for the fifteenth time in a row. He’s probably counting, too. He looks the type.

“Ouch,” Amadeus hisses in sympathy. “Wasn’t he supposed to just run laps?”

“Yep,” Tony pops the ‘p’. He wishes he’d brought popcorn. “Don’t ask me, they were already at it when I got here.”

They watch the sixteenth match end, once again, with Reyes flat on his back on the mat. Tony waits until Eric gets him up again to nod his head to the other side of the platform. “Watch the Colonel.”

Ivanov doesn’t make a habit of observing the recruits. He shows up in the Kwoon Combat Room for pair ups, because that’s always good fun, but the cadets are pretty pitiful until Eric whips them into shape, and the brass tends to train when the impressionable young people can’t hear their backs creak from the effort. He’s been watching Reyes like a hawk, though, and according to Tony’s quick dig into base surveillance, arrived just in time to potentially instruct their Fightmaster to change up his training program. Eric doesn’t sway from his routines unless directly threatened with public speaking. Or unless Carol asks nicely enough, and she’s on duty this morning.

“His orthodontist will have some work to do,” Amadeus comments. He produces a pack of jelly beans from his coat pocket and offers some to Tony. “Are we being anti-establishment again?”

“Please, we’re always anti-establishment. Say, I know nothing about martial arts. Is Reyes any good?”

Only the rangers stand any chance of winning against Eric, and usually only after several years of learning his every move. That the kid hasn’t tapped out yet is already pretty impressive, but Tony has been known to mistake stubbornness for skill before. Amadeus crunches on the jelly beans for a long moment before replying.

“It’s like he’s been studying from old movies,” he says, thoughtful. “Knows what to do, but can’t back it up.”

“Did he mention getting any lessons?”

“Two boxing classes at fifteen.” Amadeus has the good sense to appear slightly red-faced at how quickly he pulled that information out of his giant brain. Tony magnanimously lets it slide. “What are you saying?”

He shrugs. “Nothing. But something smells funny here, doesn’t it?”

“Wait till you see what Montesi pulled out of his MEG scan.”

“Oooh, do tell.”

One level below, Reyes begins losing his cool. He puts enough strength into his next hit that when the wooden staff hits the mat instead of Eric’s leg, it bounces back and nearly hits him square in the face. Tony really doesn’t know much about fighting – he’s more of a lover type – but he knows Eric Brooks, and under three hundred layers of repression and self-esteem issues no therapist in the universe could crack, the big guy appears to be surprised.

“Not here,” Amadeus pockets his jelly beans. “Patient confidentiality and all that.”

That’s even more curious. “That good?” Amadeus has that look on his face. It’s been a while since Tony had last seen it, and he can’t say he enjoyed the resulting mayhem. “Alright, boy wonder. Lead the way.”

#Ghost Rider Pacific Rim AU #robbie reyes #gabe reyes #tony stark #Amadeus Cho #Ugh I'm not happy with the routine description but #Let's keep this baby rolling #I'm fully committed to Blade and Robbie bonding over failure at emoting #Also in: this is why I'm so hung up on involving the hippocampus

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meenawrites · 5 months

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Seo Yul Deep Dive–Part 2

SO I am back while in class but the professor's not here yet so whatever.

I've clearly been browsing the Seo Yul tag here and I've seen some opinions that really shock me so I hope I can address them here and in future posts.

First of all, we start Part 2 with Yul finally returning from Seoho Fortress after having been forced to leave three years ago.

Guys, he has been SUFFERING from this blood parasite FOR THREE YEARS! So of course, he looks kind of sickly when he arrives. I honestly don't know how he's been holding in there this long.

We also find out that So-I, despite being able to escape now that the blood parasite is no longer in her, is actually opting to stay Jin Mu's little puppet or pawn and let him believe she still has the blood parasite all so she can continue to receive medicine for said parasite and send it to Yul, which is kind of heartbreaking actually and kind of redeeming for her character. (I have a lot to say about her but that may be for another post, we'll see).

So Seo Yul comes back to Daeho Fortress, reunites with his friends, and it's like something clicks back into place for our favorite trio.

We know that Danggu was feeling kind of uncomfortable with Uk not because of the ice stone exactly but he just doesn't know how to talk to him with everything that happened three years ago weighing on their shoulders; which is fair, it was A LOT. But as soon as Yul comes back, it's like they all know how to act together once again.

I really wanted to point this out because I think traditionally a lot of people might find Yul's character kind of boring because of how quiet and strict he is with himself AND HE'S NOT. And we can see that by how his mere presence brings the trio back together, that they start to talk and joke around again as soon as he just makes an appearance. It really highlights how core he is to their friendship, not just an accessory. Yes, his two friends are louder and more lively than him, but because Seo Yul is so quiet and reserved, when he does choose to make a joke or tease it has that much more impact. To top it off you can just FEEL how much he loves his friends and I really think these are two main factors in why Uk and Danggu love him so much. Seo Yul is central to their group, always has been, and he has been looking out for Danggu and Uk his entire life.

Moving on though, we have Seo Yul meeting Jin Buyeon/Naksu, and all of their interactions in the show (prior to him finding out she's Naksu) are ADORABLE! I think they really highlighted once more that Yul and Naksu would always gravitate towards each other in some way because their relationship/bond goes way deeper than anything romantic.

Like yes Yul's care for Naksu has always had a romantic connotation, but his regard for her went way deeper than that. I don't quite know how to articulate it but I think overall he really respected and cared about her as a PERSON just with romantic undertones, not necessarily an all consuming romance. And I think Naksu feels the same way. There is something in Yul that brings her comfort and she likes spending time with him, but it's also never been precisely defined that she loves him romantically. Again, I think there are definitely romantic undertones, even on Naksu's side (made clear by how often she emphasizes how handsome he is) but I think above all her regard for Yul is a lot deeper and purer than that. He is someone who gave her shiny and happy memories in the midst of a life that was anything but happy. This kid showed her that people CAN be unconditionally kind, that people could still be good at a time I think was very important for her, and I think frankly Seo Yul does that for a lot of people. He just constantly reminds people in his attitude and actions that unconditional kindness and care does still exist and he's a prime example of that.

So yes they gravitate towards each other again without remembering the other for a while and it's precious to watch. They frankly just enjoy each other's company, and I absolutely love the scene of them agreeing to be "foolish friends". Might do a whole other post on that scene but yeah.

Let's move on to the agony of Yul's character arc this season.

As we know, the aftermath of the tragedy of season 1 DEEPLY affected Yul. He has no idea that Naksu/Mudeok was controlled into going wild and killing so many people. All he knows is that she went wild, killed Jang Uk and ruined Danggu and Choyeon's happiness. It's his ultimate failure in his point of view. It's been drilled into him that soul shifters are unnatural, that they will inevitably cause great harm, but he elected to ignore that not only for Naksu's sake but also for Jang Uk's sake. He had been watching over her actions all of season 1 both because he cannot stay away from her but also probably to ascertain whether she would really be a threat.

And right when he'd made the decision to leave her alone, to let her and Jang Uk be happy, that maybe the absolute rules he's been taught to believe in unconditionally can be broken, everything he'd feared in letting Naksu/Mudeok continue to live came true.

So OBVIOUSLY he's consumed with guilt. Because he knew exactly who she was for so long, knew that she was a soul shifter, knew the risks and his duties that weigh so heavily upon him, but elected to ignore them for his own feelings, his own moral compass that for once was disagreeing with this set of absolute rules he abides by. And in his view, everyone he loves has paid for his inaction and his decision to let her be.

Like just think about it from his POV, he feels like it's all his fault, especially more so because we know that Yul (and literally every adult around him) holds himself to a very high standard, so his guilt is just that much more intense.

This is why he's letting himself die silently by the blood parasite. This is why he never took the medication even though his pain throughout the last three years must have been so so bad. Because he feels like he deserves it. He's punishing himself, and he thinks he should die for the role he played in the tragedy of season 1.

Yul is someone who feels everything very deeply, and from the way he takes everything upon himself, we can infer that Yul's never had anyone who actually takes care of HIS inner world and HIS feelings. We don't know much about his parents, but from the few family members we have seen –his aunt and uncle – no one seems to care much for him and his feelings. Reinforced by the fact that he's the only heir and the way all the adults treat him, I have to believe that Yul grew up largely having to take care of himself in the emotional aspect. An he grew up, emphasis was heavily put on responsibility and duty as the next head of the Seo family. Combine that with what usually happens with children who act more mature and are more obedient than others -> adults LOVE you. And for someone like Yul who I have to believe didn't really have that emotional support that any child should have from their parents and adults in their life, I think that was just more incentive to cling to this good boy title of his, to foster his absolutist sense of morality that he was being taught, and striving to be as responsible as possible.

That's where his self-flagelating attitude comes from, and that's the kind of background we can infer from the way he acts and reasons through his feelings.

So yes, he was going to let himself die no matter how stupid that is because he thought it was only right.

When he discovers that Jin Buyeon is really Naksu but without her memories, he's in moral agony once again. Because on the one hand he is so so happy she is still alive, but on the other, all that trauma from what happened when she went wild last season is brought right back to the surface (as if he isn't constantly thinking about it already).

And we can see that in the scene where upon discovering it, he just hugs her and asks to stay like that for a while. He cannot believe she is standing in front of him but he is also deeply sad because he feels like she and Uk are destined for tragedy once again (especially with him again not knowing that Mudeok/Naksu was hypnotized last season into going wild, it now feels like an inevitability, a certified truth that the tragedy will repeat itself eventually).

And this time, Uk DOESN'T KNOW. So in Yul's mind, he thinks that that's better, that this is an opportunity afforded him to correct his mistake from last season, and again take care of everyone else's happiness aside from his own.

This combined with how sick he is from the blood parasite I believe largely contribute to his plan to kill Jin Buyeon/Naksu in Danhyangeok. But he also cannot live knowing he did that to her and also Jang Uk. He feels like this is the right choice for everyone's future happiness in the long term, but it will destroy him. So instead of killing her and then just waiting to die, he plans to kill both of them. Infuriating from the viewer's side but totally understandable from his perspective and disposition.

But then we have So-I who is ready to do anything to save Yul, and he ends up being not only discovered but on the verge of death. And So-I dies trying to protect him. Once again, he's just in moral agony because someone has died for him when he was resolute on killing himself. He thought that would be the best course of action for everyone, was convinced, but then someone new dies specifically for him and he's in distress again. What is the right choice? What should I have done?

And when Uk comes to his rescue and grabs him by the back of his neck, we can see just how in despair he is. His "I'm sorry" to Uk is an apology not for dying here and needing to be rescued but for so many other things. For his inaction last season, for having run like a coward to Seoho Fortress for 3 years (in his opinion), for knowing that Jin Buyeon is Naksu and not being able to tell him, for knowing who she is and not being able to protect Uk from pain at her side. For so many things and it's so so heartbreaking.

When Yul is healed and saved, he honestly just doesn't even know what to do anymore, what the right thing to do is. Jin Buyeon/Naksu has saved him, which then makes him feel guilty for planning to kill her in the first place. But he also can't see any way out of a repeat tragedy. Basically his moral compass is going haywire.

Side note: we were totally robbed of the trio reuniting with Seo Yul and then scolding him for being an idiot. Might fuck around and write another Missing Scene oneshot for that.

But then he finds out that Naksu's soul is going to disappear anyway. And he's again conflicted (I swear my man can never catch a break). On the one hand, he's very sad that Naksu is going to disappear out of this world, just gone without ever having been happy. On the other hand, he's relieved because he thinks that with her disappearance no tragedy will occur. Furthermore, the body will be returning to the soul of its original owner which is morally correct by all standards.

So all he can hope for now is for Naksu to be happy with the time she has left with the person she loves. He even goes and threatens Jin Hogyeong (which is not something he would ever normally do) just to give her the chance to be happy with the time she has left. (I'm sobbing yall, I love him).

But then, thanks to Heo Yunok (was very upset with her this season), that all goes to shit because she exposes Naksu right when Uk is finally admitting he's fallen for Jin Buyeon/Naksu, that she's finally going to be happy. And now she remembers everything and how she essentially screwed up the happiness of not only the love of her life Jang Uk (who she LITERALLY KILLED like I can't imagine having to deal with that) but also everyone else she cared about. So she decides to distance herself.

And Seo Yul is just there talking to both of them like won't you use your disappearance as an excuse to be together? Even for a little while? Because damn it they deserve to be happy and they're both so dear to him. And he's just sad once again because the world seems intent on hurting these two people he loves so much.

Now lowkey this is where I feel like the writers kind of failed Seo Yul. Take this with a grain of salt though because they had a limited amount of episodes, so all things considered, they did a great job.

But after all his suffering, Seo Yul didn't really get an emotional payoff. Like yes we see him become in charge of the training center in Songrim and he's going to institute a new and fairer system for training mages. But what really would have been good for him and his character would be for it to be pounded into his head how much his friends care about him, how he doesn't have to suffer alone, how he's not guilty of everything he feels guilty of. For someone to recognize finally how much of a burden he has on his shoulders and show him that he doesn't have to shoulder it alone.

I don't think I'm articulating this properly, but I wanted and needed everyone important to Yul to step up after him almost dying to knock some sense into him, to realize how truly fucked up it is for someone to feel so responsible and guilty and self-sacrificing as to just be willing to die in silence. That's why a scene where Danggu and Uk scold the shit out of him would have been necessary, should definitely have happened. He needs some emotional healing and to realize that people in his life are ready to be aggressively there for him.

Just after this incident, his friends constantly coming to check up on him. Like are you good? Your feelings aren't going crazy, right? You don't feel irrationally guilty for something out of your control, right?

I lowkey have way more to say about Yul and his relationship with other people but that's for a different post.

All in all, I'm super glad that Seo Yul found his own path at the end of the season. I think reforming Jeojjingak (if that's what it's called) is his own way of paving the future so that people like Cho Yeon and So-I who had unlucky lots in life have more of a fair chance in the future.

I clearly love this character A LOT.

Congrats to anyone who actually made it this far.

#alchemy of souls #jang uk #Seo Yul #Seo Yul rants #My boy deserves the world #Let him be happy #Seo Yul thoughts #Meena's thoughts #Meena's posts #Seo Yul Deep Dive #alchemy of souls: light and shadow #jang uk x naksu #Naksu #Cho Yeon #Mudeok #Jin Buyeon #park dang gu

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