#chronically fatigued

[matchakuracat]

"You're so lucky! I wish I could just stay at home all day instead of going to school or working"

I have to go to school/work just as much as anyone else does, the difference is that I physically can't. Not having the same choice as abled people does not make me lucky. Staying at home because I can't go to school or work does not mean I get to do whatever I want. Staying at home every day without being able to do anything is not fun. Not being able to do anything but lay down in bed or on the couch gets boring really fast. That's not even taking the chronic pain I endure into account.

Being chronically ill is not being lazy. It's not a choice, or something anyone would choose. It's a disability.

[melodymorningdew]

Imposter syndrome is a bench

Image description: drawing of a nondescript person with a tired/unimpressed expression on their face right next to a drawing of someone vibrating with excitement

Caption:

Me: "I must be faking my illness. I went on a walk yesterday."

Also me: "MY WALKER AND SHOWER CHAIR ARE ON THEIR WAY"

[thevoidpeeringback]

I think the scariest thing about having a chronic illness is you truly don’t know what you’re going to feel like from one day to the next.

Yesterday I was able to shower and stand up for more than 10 minutes and today breathing is hard.

The unpredictability and the sheer fear of having to deal with flare ups and feeling like everything is falling apart constantly.

I am tired.

[beenovel]

Being chronically ill is that sometimes you just have to sit on the bathroom floor and cry

[pale-plant-bones]

The ultimate shared experience of chronic illness:

Am I coming down with something or did I just push myself too hard and/or flaring up?

[visgrapplinghooks]

I think… there's a certain part of the human brain that craves attention when we are suffering. Deep down, we all want people to take care of us when we feel sick. Like when we're kids and our parents would feed us and and dote on us. Especially when your parents were otherwise… not good to you, being ill was the one time you got positive attention and compassion.

With chronic pain and illness, you don't tune out that desire to be doted on and loved in times of suffering. You force yourself to ignore that need because you think it'll never be fulfilled by the people around you. Where's my mom to make me soup when I'm sick or check my temperature? Where's my friends to drop by just to see how I'm doing?

And I think I'm often caught between wanting support from the people around me and not wanting to feel like a burden. Then I avoid reaching out to get support and then feel resentment towards others for not giving me the support and attention I wanted deep down.

I'm not entirely blameless in my social frustrations related to my chronic pain, but I do think there's something to be said about how devastatingly isolating it can feel to be a person with chronic pain/disability/illness and know that you will never get your needs from others fully fulfilled to the extent you want. Learning to find that balance of tempering your expectations, fulfilling your own needs, and communicating to your support system what specifically you need. At least... I hope that's something I can learn as a skill over time.

A stable and proactive social support system is one of the most important things a chronically pained person can have, I think.

[theriseofthesea]

Me, literally just existing:

My heart rate 📈📈📈📈

[myalgicencephalomyelitiscfstom]

[azrielfiend]

ive been conflicted on making this but i cant stop thinking about it. im putting this on my main bc i dont think ppl will see it enough on my sideblog

ive been dealing with CFS. Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. (i also suffer from arrhythmia.) its so difficult to get out of bed, let alone move around my body. i cannot even draw, or enjoy simple activities like playing with my cats. im exhausted all of the time. sitting even makes me tired. sometimes i get so tired that i could not bother getting out of bed to eat something and i end up starving myself. ive doubted myself countless, "i just have to try harder, im slow. weak. i just need to work harder." but these thoughts have resulted in me exhausting and hurting myself. i could not go up the stairs without being breathless. i passed out when our teacher made us run around the field, i was out of breath. i could literally not breathe. my heart was pounding like it was about to destroy itself. and i get told by my teachers and classmates that i "need to eat more healthy foods" or "work out more" "you need to get a good nights rest" or probably the most offensive of them all, "stop being lazy." and "stop being dramatic. everyone else can do it, so can you." and when i told them that im incapable of doing physical activities, they ignored me and went on. i felt hopeless during these moments. nobody believed in what i say, and did not help me when i was physically struggling. i was not even given water. nothing. because they assumed that i was lying just to get out of any physical activities.

im expressing this post because i genuinely have never felt happier when there are other people who struggled with what i had to deal with. sharing their experiences, etc..

invisible disabilities suck.

nobody will believe you, but you continue to survive anyways, through sheer will.

i find that amazing. i hope people understand what im trying to say in this post and be a bit more patient with me while i deal with this.

i hope i can draw something today. maybe finish my commissions. im so sorry its taking so long, but CFS just. sucks

[melodymorningdew]

I cannot fight for my health and fight the world at the same f**king time.

[portraitofpluto]

everyday when i'm home i'm like "disabled liberation!!! i can use my mobility aids in public and don't owe anyone an explanation!!!" and then i get to the public in question and i'm going over my lines when someone asks What's wrong with you What happened and then i just suffer

[crazycatsiren]

Chronic fatigue culture is lie in bed, get up to eat something, go back to bed, repeat throughout the day.

[kellylynncurry]

The skeleton inside me is begging to be free

To feel the dirt between its calcified toes

And the sea rush around its marrow core

Let the osteon flourish amidst the wildflowers

— Kelly Lynn Curry

From the book Radiant Poppy

[marachronicallycrochets]

Guys I can't wait to get my cane

Huh? My reasons? You asked for it (no u didn't but that's too bad)

I don't feel like almost falling on my ass anymore and it'll help me ALOT

I'mma bedazzle that shit to the extreme. Stickers. Gems. Glitter. Keychains. Anything you can think of. I WILL slay.

I'll finally feel stable on my own 2 feet :3

[unfilteredrealities]

I want to take off my body suit. I just want to get out of my skin. I just want to be able to breathe again and to not be so overwhelmed and distressed and feeling like a ton is killing me rn. I want to get out of my disabled body. Stretch. Be free. Wash my body suit. Fix it. Put it on and try again and see if that helped with being chronically ill. Disabled. It won’t fix it but it’s gonna take away a bit of the stress.