#cilantromixture

[patricia-taxxon]

there's this trick that racists/queerphobes/etc do, it's really slick. let's just do a little dialogue as an example, the names have been obscured but I've seen this exact exchange happen before.

Stephanie mc. Influencer: "And furthermore, body positivity intersects with black liberation, as black women are often held to unattainable eurocentric beauty standards"

Suave Replyboy Jr: "Lmao, you leftists always tell on yourselves, did you really just say black people are ugly??"

You see the trick here? it's kind of complicated, like, Stephanie is arguing from the perspective that beauty standards are arbitrary and subject to change, Suave understands beauty as an objective hierarchy, so he dunks on Stephanie safely from the inside of that standard. To him, and likely to many people who haven't thought about their own assumptions very much, the only reason black people would want their own body positivity movement is because they're ugly. Bonus points if Stephanie is white, and you can rile her community against her with claims of racism.

I've been getting some replies like this on my posts about sexual trauma, kink, and queerness. Like... I say that sexual deviance of all forms can intersect and correlate with queer identity, and dozens of Suave Replyboy Jrs come out and dunk on me from the other side of the glass, from inside the false universe I'm trying to discredit, the one where "sexual deviance" is immoral and associating queer sexuality with deviancy is an insult. I'm not saying queer people are dangerous perverts, that's you.

[avephax]

Happy 24th birthday to you, @patricia-taxxon! Thank you for forming my entire teenage years.

[patricia-taxxon]

told my therapist I didn't want to die anymore

[patricia-taxxon]

mask on vs. mask off

[patricia-taxxon]

defend against the smear campaign by becoming irreplaceable

[patricia-taxxon]

genuinely some of the criticisms i've seen given about Poor Things makes me want to unironically say "allistics don't get it"

[patricia-taxxon]

A bunch of those replies are just straight up "it's disgusting you were aroused when arousal was forced upon you". I'm really sorry to you have to deal with that shit.

they literally just don't care about survivors, i have nothing else to say

[patricia-taxxon]

it was extremely weird growing up with a tumblr teen older sibling. i remember the first time i started expressing gender discomfort, i was autistic and like 11 so i decided the best way to articulate this was "girls can do everything boys can do and more >:(" referring to how girls can wear pants but boys can never wear dresses, and my older sibling, 15 years old and newly hopped up on tumblr social justice discourse, gave me a massive spiel about how women actually have it terrible and saying they can do more is disrespectful and i should check my privilege. they were just as autistic as I, if that wasnt clear

[patricia-taxxon]

I am just wondering if it’s wise to defend your stance in this way. This site is rife with people who are fully invested in the notion of thought crimes, immoral & irredeemable feelings, ideas, notions, fictions and fantasies and an essentialist view of morality focused on inner virtue and not actions. As you know, this is both on issue on the left and the right.

You are in your right to express yourself, but I hope you do know that this is a debate you can’t win, at least not on here. Your opponents have an essentially puritan interpretation of morality. So, to them it’s a moral crusade to convert or erase.

I am saying this because I saw a post about your mental health improving. Dealing with mental illness myself, I get that expression can invigorating, but I am distrustful of discourse to have beneficial effects to that process. So yeah, maybe keep that in mind.

Take care.

You're right. I got kind of caught up in trying to defend myself before I realized none of them actually saw me as an authentic being to begin with, and then it was just inertia. I'm fragile, defensive and combative to a fault. sorry for repeatedly putting this shit on all your pages, I won't reblog it anymore.

[patricia-taxxon]

genuinely i dont think many of the people making kneejerk reactions to AI art have actually used it. you fell for the swindle, they pushed out the technology before it was ready and sold you on false promises that are still as of yet unsubstantiated.

[patricia-taxxon]

i know its old news but why did james somerton think 'brain damage' was even slightly adequate as an explanation for his actions? how do you make this lie? he didn't copy and paste, he was deliberate in his attempts to modernize and localize the text. its like he's sorry he forgot to do his find/replace algorithm on a few of the passages

[patricia-taxxon]

idk, i get a little grey ace sometimes, maybe im missing something, but to me the earlier sex scenes in Poor Things are really obviously not supposed to be pornographic. i don't think it's supposed to be horrifying either, it's sickly and funny and overwhelming, like being a little kid in a candy store.

[patricia-taxxon]

My final word. I was exposed to sexual intimacy at a time before I ever could have constructed a sense of boundaries to be violated. I'm unable to access the disgust you want me to feel because I was 3, it only happened once, and I wasn't physically hurt. I'm discovering what has been in my heart my entire life, and it is my choice to take the positive emotions I felt both then and now and leave behind the shame and prosecution. I'm an adult now, I am exercising sexual agency in the present because I have that right. have a nice life.

[patricia-taxxon]

engaging in little/caregiver stuff with my friends is like running a blitzkrieg on my OCD. like take that, asshole

[patricia-taxxon]

it's really really interesting seeing people pit you against 'actual survivors,' like fuck

I want them to see the faces of all my dearest friends when I told them that "funny story" that I'd taken for granted this entire time, more than anything in this world

[patricia-taxxon]

I'd suggest backing up your blog so that if there's a false report wave or smthn you can get it back. seeing as there seems to be a decent amount of people harassing you.

but if i get banned i'll be free