#cleared this blog out of a lot of stuff cause the whole point of a username change was to keep my tumblring separate from my professionaling

[astramachina]

idk, big fan of cringeposting over on the bird app because shit gets like 0 engagement now.

[bonefall]

So, I'm writing an essay on the whole STATE of misogyny in WC for one of my university classes, and I was wondering if I could ask you a couple of things! No pressure of course, please feel free to say no!

A) Could I reference your good takes with appropriate harvard referencing and links back to your blog?

B) Are there any specific moments from the books that you think should be covered the most?

C) The end result will be a visual essay, so it's like those fun infographics people on Tumblr make on like ADHD and stuff, so when it's done, would you like to be tagged to read it?

(Sorry for anon, I'm nervous lmao, but if you'd be more comfortable I'll resend this off anon)

AAY good topic! You've got a lot to work with. Absolutely feel free to reference anything I've written, and tag me when you're done.

While you're here and about to write something so legitimate, I'm also going to recommend you check out Sunnyfall's video on gender in Warrior Cats. She breaks down the arcs into numbers, directly comparing the amount of lines mollies have to toms, and examining the archetypes women are usually allowed to be.

I think it's a must-have citation in a paper about WC misogyny.

...and, I think it's insightful to look at the WCRP Forum thread about the video. Note how the respondents immediately come into the thread to complain about how the video is too long so they didn't watch it, dismissing Sunnyfall as not being entertaining enough to hold their attention, even whining that she starts with statistics to prove her point, which I'm convinced she did exactly because they would have cried that she "had no evidence" if she didn't.

I am not a scholar, so I don't know how to document or prove that the books have an impact on the audience outside of anecdotes. But I think if you do write a section about fandom, it would be worth mentioning the in-universe and metatextual apologia for Ashfur and its reflection in the real world discourse, the authorial killing of Ferncloud because of fan complains, and the utter defensiveness against the discussion of misogyny you see outside of Tumblr.

You may also want to check out Cheek by Jowl, a collection of 8 essays about sexism in xenofiction by Ursula K. Le Guin. There's a very unique manifestation of authorial bias in animal fiction, having a lot to do with how the author views "the natural world," and it's worth understanding even though Warrior Cats are so heavily anthropomorphized.

So... Warrior Cats Misogyny

I think discussing individual instances can be helpful, but I'd implore you to keep in mind what's REALLY bad about WC's misogyny is framing and the bigger picture.

Bumble's death is shocking and insulting, but it's not just that she died. It's that the POV Gray Wing sees her as a fat, useless bitch who took his mate so she deserves to be dragged back to a domestic abuser, and he's right because the writers love him so much. It's that Bumble's torture and killing only factors into how it's going to hurt a man's reputation.

It's how Clear Sky hitting, emotionally manipulating, or killing the following women,

Bright Stream (pressured into leaving her home and family)

Storm (controlled her movements and yelled at her in public)

Misty (killed for land, children stolen)

Bumble (beaten unconscious, blamed nonsensically on a fox)

Alder (child abuse, hit when she refused to attack her brother)

Falling Feather (scratched on the face, subjected to public abuse and humiliation)

Tall Shadow (thrown into murderous crowd, attacked on-sight in heaven)

Rainswept Flower ("blacked out" in anger and murdered in cold blood)

Moth Flight (scratched on the face for saying denying medical treatment is mean, taken hostage in retaliation against mother for the death of his own child, which he caused)

Willow Tail (eyes gouged out for "stirring up trouble")

Is seen as totally understandable, forgivable, or not even questioned at all, when killing Gray Wing in an act of rage would have been "one step too far" with the ridiculous Star Line.

"Kill me and live with the memory, and then let the stars know it would only matter if a single one of your murder victims was a man."

It's the way that fathers who physically abuse their kids out of their ego (Clear Sky, Sandgorse, Crowfeather) aren't treated anywhere near the same level of narrative disgust and revulsion the series has for "bad moms", even if they're displaying symptoms of a post-partum mood disorder (depression, anxiety, and rage), an umbrella of mental illnesses 20% of all new mothers experience but are heavily stigmatized with (Sparkpelt, Palebird, Lizardstripe).

It's Crookedstar's Promise giving him two evil maternal figures in a single book, while bending over backwards to make every man in a position of power still look likeable in spite of the fact they're enabling Rainflower's abuse. Leader Hailstar is soso sorry that he has to change Stormkit's name for some reason, in spite of leaders being unaccountable dictators the other 99% of the time, and Deputy Shellheart functionally does nothing to stop his own son from being abused or even do much parenting before or after the fact.

It's the way men's parental struggles are seen sympathetically, and they don't have to "pay for it" like their female counterparts (Crookedstar's PPD vs Sparkpelt's PPD, how Daisy and Cinders are held responsible for Smoky and Whisper being deadbeats, Yellowfang's endless guilt for killing her son vs Onestar's purpose in life to kill his own), even to the point where a father doesn't have to have raised their kids at all to have a magical innate emotional connection to them (Tree's father Root, Tom the Wifebeater, Tigerstar and Hawkfrost).

It's less speaking lines and agency for female characters, being reduced to accessories in the lives of their mates and babies, women getting less diversity in their personalities, with even major ex-POV characters eventually becoming "sweet mom" tropes.

You could zoom in on any one of these examples and have an amoeba try to argue with you that "Oh THIS makes sense because X" or "Ah well my headcanon perfectly explains this thing" or "MY mother/girlfriend was abusive/toxic/neglectful and I've decided that you are personally attacking ME by having issues with how a character was written or utilized," but the beleaguered point,

That I keep trying to hammer in, over and over, across books worth of posts,

Is that these are trends. More than just a couple one-off examples. It's the fabric that has been woven over years, showing a lack of interest in, or even active prejudice of, women on behalf of the writers.

LONG STANDING trends, which have only gotten worse as the series progressed. From Yellowfang being harshly punished with a born evil son who ruins her life in TPB and the mistreatment of Squirrelpaw that begins in TNP, all the way up to the 7 Fridgenings of DOTC and Sparkpelt's PPD being a major character motivator for her son Nightheart.

So, I would stress that in your paper, and structure it less as "the Sparkpelt slide" and "the Yellowfang slide," and more as "The paternal vs maternal abuse" slide, and "the violence against women" slide. They're really big issues, there's tons of examples for each individual thing.

Anyway to leave off on a funny, look at this scene in Darkest Hour that I find unreasonably hilarious,

"Everyone who matters to me; my truest friend, my sensible and loyal warrior, the wisest deputy I've ever known, and 2 women." -Firestar, glorious idiot

He can't even think of a single trait for either of them what the hell does "formidable pair" mean lmaooo, when I finished a reread about a year ago this line killed me on impact.

[ryuichirou]

Replies

And now, back to our regularly scheduled programming.

Anonymous asked:

I’m sorry you went through all that crap. I hope things are better for you. ):

Oh, if you’re talking about the situation from my past, then yeah, it’s much better now! Thank you so much for your concern <3 It is very sweet of you.

However, we do have a more serious situation on our hands right now, but I won’t go into details. This blog is for discussing the colour of Idia’s nipples, not this.

Speaking of which…

Anonymous asked:

I want to lick Idia’s chest. Apologies.

Quickly, Anon, Ortho is holding him just for you to lick! Ahh shoot he ran way…

Anonymous asked:

a lot of people tend to forget we’re asking you about /your/ hcs. and it’s perfectly ok if we disagree! what fun would the internet be without different opinions (the only valid hc is rook’s love language is stalking lol).

anyways who out of the cast do you think would own yaoi manga/doujins? personally i think idia would. maybe. if it’s physical/paper he can hide his naughty stuff from ortho and his mom…

Exactly! A lot of things influence the way people come up with ideas, this is such a complex thing, of course not everything is going to cater to everyone – this is simply impossible. Picking and choosing and reading stuff that interests you while avoiding things that annoy or hurt you is always the way to go.

(Rook’s love language is stalking, fuck yeah lol)

Oh, that’s a fun question. I feel like Idia would be the only one, and he would also probably have this excuse/explanation, like he really isn’t into BL, but this particular work is just very good, it has great art style, good writing + Idia’s favourite artist was influenced by this manga/series of doujins, so of course he had to get it, this is an important otaku artifact! And OF COURSE it’s paper, that’s the whole point! Even if it’s smutty, it’s art!

Ortho could start getting into BL himself; he would start by reading this one manga that Idia owns lol Idia was sure he’d hidden it well.

The rest of the cast strike me as normies… but hey, Lilia could have some! If he has any manga at all, I can imagine him owning a BL book just ‘cause. But since he probably bought it years ago when he was traveling around the TWST equivalent of Japan, it might be a bit outdated lol And probably a little cursed, which is why Lilia got so into this book back then.

Anonymous asked:

I just think it’s cool how you’re so detailed with the characters and their personality/psychology etc. You could even explain how each of them would go skydiving and I’d think, “yeah, they would do that.” Toodles.

Thank you so much, Anon! It truly means a lot. This is one of the most fun parts of writing replies and drawings stuff, to be honest: the cast is so good that the jokes write themselves sometimes lol

If only I knew enough about skydiving to write or draw something about it…but thankfully, we have a lot of other things to do. 💪

Thank you for enjoying our stuff, I am very happy to hear that.

Anonymous asked:

That's just fucking wrong. Jade is EXTREMELY well behaved for a Leech. "ill behaved" my ASS!!!

+Anonymous asked:

TO BE CLEAR IM JOKING JADE IS A FUCKING FREAK MENACE

LOL YOU’RE GOOD ANON, no worries! <3

“For a Leech”!!! Exactly! Which means he isn’t well-behaved at all!

Anonymous asked:

my guy, my friend,, my buddy,,,,

a hetalia mention? in 2024? why would you do this to us? 😭

Anon dear… Hetalia is a party that is never over 🥳🥳🥳 It forced itself into our lives in 2009 and has been there ever since.

In all seriousness, we do come back to it from time to time; some of the drawings that we have for it are pretty recent!

[lovesick-nagi]

This is a continuation of our posts on Stylus/The Labyrinth, as we have been requested to add this on.

I held off on posting this to give Stylus an opportunity to reply and send their supposed "proof" they claim to have from their last post, but as of now, there is dead silence from their end. I can't say I didn't expect this, but if they truly think they have something that will vindicate them, I implore them to send it into my askbox. In the meantime, I have a development.

You might remember the person who made the post defending Labyrinth, another one of their exes. You may also have noticed in the last post I said there were now four people speaking out against Stylus, and now, I bring you the fourth statement via that ex/childhood friend, @starfall-sys, as they have now come forward to me to apologize, as well as admit to be a victim of Labyrinth as well. They have asked us to make this post to clarify their feelings on the matter. But first, I will give what they themselves have to say.

This post will also include more of their disgusting actions that I could not include in my three posts, but now have even more backup on.

TW: SH, Mentions of Abuse/SA, Racism, RAMCOA mention/misrepresentation

"Hey. This is Stylus’ friend/ex. As you all may be aware, I posted a really awful defense statement trying to defend Stylus and I will say, I am extremely sorry. That statement not only hurt Nagi, it upset a lot of people who knew the whole story. I know nothing will excuse my actions but I want to explain myself.

When I wrote that statement, I was sort of convinced by Stylus to send it because I felt bad at that time and I wanted to defend him. At that time, I was only aware of one incident, and was not aware of the actual biting, physical abuse, and SA that happened. Stylus deliberately left that out. I wrote that statement under the impression that maybe it could possibly mend friendships and clear off miscommunication but BOY was I wrong.

It wasn't until after people started lashing out at me that I realized the gravity of the situation. It has left me mentally scarred, and I regret ever defending Stylus. I myself realized that Stylus has done stuff to me that I buried under the rug until recently.

This is my apology statement for those who have been hurt by my initial statement. I no longer endorse Stylus, and I have apologized to Nagi about it as well. I’m sorry for causing such a mess, truth be told I was dragged into this by Stylus, but honestly I am glad that it came to that point because otherwise I would have never realized the treatment that I had to deal with from Stylus. I would have been left in the dark.

Now while I would love to explain what he did to me, its way too much for me to explain in a paragraph and I feel that Nagi can explain it better than me, so I will let them tell you the truth."

Here, within what they shared with me, we can learn more about how stylus behaved with them. As you may remember from their post, they are childhood friends with Stylus. They detail how Stylus seemed nice in childhood, coming from a wealthy, safe home, but they started to understand the malicious person Stylus was growing into when they first exchanged discord accounts.

It is truly disturbing to hear the extent of what stylus did to themselves while on video with their "closest friend", who would go on to be their first partner, as it’s something no one should ever have to see, and combined with the accounts in our previous posts, clearly Stylus has a past history with using SH as leverage, and has done this with literally every single person they have dated.

They go on to discuss their experiences with being led to believe I was in the wrong, and how they were apparently being manipulated into doing their bidding for a long time now. They apologized to me for having written the deleted apology post previously on Stylus’ blog.

They talk to us about being straight up ignored by Stylus in their relationship, which is another thing that led to their breakup. Stylus often dismissed their requests for advice or encouragement in favour of themself or others which led this person to feel very isolated and generally worthless to Stylus despite the years they spent knowing eachother.

We’d learn that during the time them and Stylus were dating, Stylus hadn’t informed them that they had begun dating someone else. While they did have a open arrangement, they’d agreed to ask/inform each other first, and Stylus had not, instead dating this person for a month before even mentioning it, completely breaking their partner's trust. They broke up immediately after Stylus tried to gaslight them regarding this.

We’ve also received more examples of Stylus being racist and vile with our renewed friendship with their victims, though we’d already known this for some time due to various personal experiences with them as a POC ourselves, this just goes to show that there is MUCH Stylus has not apologized for, and hoped would just be pushed under the rug.

{ As you can probably tell, the more I talk about him, the less patience I have for his antics. }

Even FURTHER, they claim to be a RAMCOA victim PURELY because of their cult leader OC alter.

So on top of straight up saying he "has trauma" from NOT having trauma, now he is claiming to be a victim of Ritual Abuse, Mind Control, and Organized Abuse. None of these are even entertainable ideas, and the fact he only feels this way because his cult leader OC is "drawn to" these topics is. Something.

At this point, I really cannot say I believe anything he says. He is willing to claim he is a RAMCOA survivor for such silly reasons, and claims to have his dissociative disorder from childhood trauma, trauma that he has straight up said he does not have. It seems he uses these types of things to excuse his actions, or at least that's what their practical use ends up being.

He did something terrible ? He doesn't remember it, it was someone else. Someone says no or even takes too long for him when he pesters them for something ? He has RSD, you can't say no, it'll hurt his feelings. He doesn't show any remorse for literally assaulting someone ? It's not his fault, he has a personality disorder. Even if I've caught him in lies about all of these, when he's proven wrong, he shifts the blame onto someone else, one of his exes. It is never his fault. And if you call him out on all of this, you're the terrible one.

I would like to clarify that every single person I have discussed being affected is a system. I am a system, my partner is a system, all three of his exes are systems. Not a single one of us can say that his claims line up with our system experiences.

He claims things about his system that literally could not be medically possible, he has spewed misinformation on any disorder he brings up and talks over other people WITH those disorders while doing so, and everyone knows him to have a completely normal family and childhood, not traumatic in any sense of the word. The victim who has lived in his house said that if anything, he has been spoiled by his wealthy family. The rest of us has witnessed this as well. He might as well just say that he's endogenic.

He seems to target anyone who enables him, which turned out to be traumatized systems, to get what he wants. This is simply his victim profile, which is why I'm glad he was banned from the system server he held a powerful position in. We are glad to have prevented more harm from being done.

To end this off,

Stylus’ ex who reached out to us concludes with another apology to me, and others, for having ever defended stylus or aided in any of our abuse, which is an apology I accept genuinely, because I already knew they were misinforming people and villainizing their victims.

They villainized me to all three of their exes, they villainized us all to the server they modded, and everyone they manipulated into sympathizing with them has realized they are a victim of Stylus, cut them off, and has a strong distain for them as a person. Even the server they modded for banned them due to learning of their actions after being lied to. Stylus is extremely manipulative, and has upheld a plethora of terrible beliefs while under the guise of amnesia, disorders, or meaning well. The truth is he has just been motivated by prejudice, malicious sadism, sexual deviancy, and his own self interest.

We’re glad to have received a proper apology from Stylus' now ex childhood friend, and gained further knowledge about the extent of what stylus has done from their exes, and we've all become friends again, which makes me really happy !! The only person who has never given a genuine apology for all their terrible actions is Stylus, and I doubt they ever will, because at this point all they seem to be doing is continuing to try and demonize their victims and blamehsift. All I can say is, the more I learn about them, the worse they are revealed to be. If they think they can worm their way into more communities, into more already-traumatized people's lives, they are, simply put, very wrong. I won't let anyone else be hurt because of their abusive nature, and I will continue to protect others.

[dn-838]

How Aborted Genocide affects the Mettaton NEO battle

despite it's short length, Mettaton NEOs battle is definitely something that has brought up a lot of discussion, with people viewing it in very different ways. Some think that Mettaton NEO was just really weak and that things like his -40000 DEF in the files is canon, while others think that he never intended to actually fight us and was just working as a diversion to try and help more monsters evacuate before we attempt to face Asgore. As nice as all these ideas are, the nature of the fight is answered quite well in what is in my opinion the best and most underrated path in the entire game, Aborted Genocide. Now I could make a whole blog in of itself about why Aborted Genocide is such a masterpiece and how perfectly it does the arcs of every character, however this will just be focussing on what the route reveals about the Mettaton NEO encounter.

What is Aborted Genocide

For those of you who aren’t aware, Aborted Genocide is a Neutral ending that will always trigger if you spared any Mini-bosses or didn’t tire out the kill count in Hotlands after killing Undyne the Undying. Basically if you attack Monster Kid you are locked into getting Aborted Genocide or Genocide, with your actions in Hotlands quickly locking you into one of the two. While it is a mostly Genocide run with New Home being just like it is in Neutral. Mettaton NEO has a lot more to say when you kill him than in normal Genocide, and the ending itself is very different to your typical Neutral path, with Sans not speaking to us at all and Alphy’s being the one telling us how things are going (Sans isn’t completely absent, but he only has a couple lines aimed towards Alphy’s where he tells her that he found our number before Alphy’s is given the phone).

Technical stuff

Alright, so let’s just get the boring stuff out of the way first. Some people try to argue that the NEO body is canonically very unstable and weak, with the -40000 DEF in the files being his canonical stats. The problem with this is that relying on file stats would also require you to assume that Toriel magically has her DEF go all the way down to -9999 exclusively in a Genocide run, and that monsters like Whimsalot, the heavily armoured version of Whimsun that is trying to kill you, has less DEF than an ordinary shy Whimsun. You could try and make an argument that the stats are canon in Mettaton NEOs case because in Genocide the 900K-999K damage you do to him is scripted and isn’t actually the amount of damage you would do, however if your murder level (a stat present in the files of the game that calculates how far through the Genocide run you are which increases every time you kill a boss, mini-boss, unique enemy and clear an area) is below 15, the scripted damage is not present, and since the Mettaton NEO encounter is activated when your murder level is 12, facing him at any point between murder levels 12 and 14 will cause a normal amount of damage to be done, so the -40000 DEF is to make sure that an attack done would still kill in 1 hit (I know I could have just said that it’s not scripted in Aborted Genocide, but come on, if I’m gonna discuss the technical stuff I might as well go all out). I think we can safely assume that the 90 ATK & 9 DEF we see with Mettaton NEO in his check stats are intended to be the canon ones.

Mettaton NEOs dialogue

This is Mettatons speech prior to becoming Mettaton NEO in both Genocide and Aborted Genocide. Mettaton seems to know what a threat we are to both Monsterkind and humanity, and he tries to stop us by bringing out his original and most dangerous form. Of course you could realistically still gather that he was working as a diversion so more monsters can evacuate before Asgore absorbs the souls and defeats you, at least you can argue that until you see what he has to say when you kill him in an Aborted Genocide run.

Yes… Mettaton knew that Asgore wouldn’t absorb the Souls and that you would easily defeat him, but if that’s the case then he’d have had no reason to have only tried to work as a distraction, since either way everything was doomed. It seems most likely that Mettaton tried to fight you in a last ditch effort out of desperation, but since we grew so powerful and were so willing to cause harm, we were able to take him down easily. Speaking of that, on the topic of the Mettaton NEO fight, I have a little theory to share.

A tragic theory

So, let’s have a quick look at what Mettaton NEO says when we kill him in a normal Genocide run

Yeah… there really doesn’t seem to be anything to it like there is on an Aborted Genocide path, however I believe it actually holds quite a bit more importance than we originally thought, and that these 2 lines of dialogue make this death one of the saddest scenes in the entire game. Of course he talks here about his “fanclub”, which you would assume to be what is mentioned by him in the Neutral ending where he becomes ruler and that some of the Hotlands NPCs bring up, however there is something else that he calls a “fanclub”.

In Mettaton’s old house, he has a set of diaries, one of which he talks about how he first met Alphy’s, at a “human fanclub” no less. Now at first this seems to be the only time this human Fanclub is ever mentioned, but I believe that this was what he was referring to in his final Genocide line. While yes this may seem like a stretch, the thing is in Genocide Mettaton shows more care towards humanity than himself, accepting his death in Aborted Genocide because he knows that humanity will live on. I believe that Mettaton in Genocide meant the opposite. He didn’t know about Sans, he believed he truly was the only hope, and for that reason, when we take him down, he thinks that’s it, he thinks humanity is doomed, and he says “guess you don’t wanna join my Fanclub” for that very reason, to him, they are all already doomed… because of you.

TL;DR - Mettaton was genuinely trying to fight us and believed he was the last hope

[spearxwind]

Hiya, I’d like to put some thoughts out there on my blog (my house) bc I need to yarf some intense feelings or I fear I will explode on a nuclear scale. This is about hollowridge (not in a negative light!! just explaining + reminiscing of old stuff and talking about new stuff. Pouring my heart out more than a little bit.)

I will put them under a readmore of course, this is PRETTY long winded, so you can read or ignore at your leisure -w- 

I was in my adri tag a while ago looking for some images and ended up going through the whole thing and seeing the evolution of him as a character and HR as a story. Additionally, I recently organized my external memory where all my art files are stored and also saw my old stuff, old concepts, old documents with info and ideas, etc etc and like other times where I have looked through my old stuff I have been WRACKED with so many emotions about it. It’s always a dangerous game to go back into my folders/tags to look because I always end up feeling this whooole spiel all at once and very intensely.

Seeing my content shifts is jarring. Very much so. It always is. I don’t think I can pinpoint causes, some of my better creative highs were at really low points in my life, and then other times my creativity and worlds were subsequently really hardly hit during similar lows. I like to think that I am on the up now though, both mentally and creatively. I’m getting back into a lot of things I love, and I am surrounded by people who I love dearly and who love me back, and things in general are really good! I feel less… I wouldn't say wrathful, but way less frustrated when looking back at my old stuff and more inspired to go back to these concepts with a healthier more open mind + knowing that I have improved nonetheless. 

Specifically for hollowridge. Hollowridge feels like a home to me, simple as that. It's something immensely dear to me and I think this is clear by how much effort I have put into it over time, not all of it well placed or with good results, but effort to make it the best that it could be (at best) and effort to keep it afloat (at worst). HR is a strange thing to look back on because it has gone through so many iterations that its hard to pinpoint just one when looking back, but there's a specific time slot (2017-2018 roughly… I’m not gonna check) that I believe is where it was at its best, and that is specifically the vibe that I am trying really hard to go back to with the newest iteration.

I’ve always struggled with it a lot, I've often voiced this publicly, or to friends who would hear my woes out (god bless them for hearing me go on and on about this like a bass boosted and emotional broken record), often because there was so many possibilities that I could run with and I had a lot of really, really conflicting ideas that I wanted to explore. I also had a lot of trouble with lore in general because for many years I was haunted by the absurd need to “make things make sense”, whatever that means. Having things grounded so that people wouldn't be able to poke holes into the watertight plot.. which I never achieved of course. It was less watertight and more of a welded together pringle shaped monstrosity (This was not only true for hollowridge, but was true for everything I have ever made. like in general. It’s been a consistent creative problem for me). 

Eventually what happened iteration after iteration was that I throttled myself too much with rules, random limitations, all in favor of making something cohesive and deleting all the fun bits off the project in the process.

For this reason I also can’t just up and go “yeah i'm gonna turboscrap everything and go back to what worked in 2017” because it also DIDN’T work then. But that vibe specifically is what I am aiming for. The “classic” vibe, if you will (if that means anything to you as it does to me.)

What didn't work for me back in the day was giving everything a reason for existing, which is something I no longer wish to do (it’s better that way) and also something that failed back then both in HR, and in extinction (earlier drafts) and just about any version of a story I ever tried to make was THE SCOPE. It always spiraled out of my hands. God entities always escape me. Magic systems always escape me. How cities and such would be regulated in these scenarios escape me. Its just things I’m not comfortable writing about in general

So that’s why I have made changes to it currently (the whole lens of technology over it) because it makes it easier to think about, and easier to handle. Post apocalypses are fun to handle, and also easy to handle (for me, in this context). Technology going awry feels like its easier to think about than just vague “magic”, even if in the end the aesthetic looks literally exactly the same. Does that make sense? I hope it makes sense.

To give an example: Magic spells and circles → programs and code lines. That can be shot into machinery or meat (recodes your fucking genome in real time and gives you super brain hemorrhage idk). I guess it just gives my brain something to latch onto that isnt just vague rules of a magic system that could potentially be anything and everything? It essentially works the exact same way… its just the lens of looking at it is changed.

Mimics are their own thing now (nanotechnology, instead of vague.. shadow things). Adri is his own thing while still connected to mimics (an angel array made of the same stuff, instead of.. whatever else). Connected to the world. AND all the conflicting but dearly beloved concepts I had for him actually fit (snake, scarf, smoke, usurper of a body that is not his. Hey remember when he was made out of ashes/smoke and eventually out of goop. Well all of that is true at once now! It’s ALL canon! Bitch! The concepts have been reconciled!!)

There are also more “normal” creatures besides these, animals that have either evolved aboveground due to fit into new world niches (so I can design Whatever without being too limited) and there’s also machine/biomachine chimeras, and purposed grown organisms, and just Weird Shit made by machines in the belly of the earth (meat is just complex machinery. you know this. your heart is a piston and your blood gasoline. but I digress.) So I have the space to Get Weird if I so choose, on my own terms this time. And it will have a proper place in the world.

There used to be a lot of concepts that were cool that I missed a lot when I had to shift away from them. Like mimics infecting people and pretending to be them, and then being able to break the hosts bodies apart to make bodies for the mimic itself. That did not fly in pretty much 80% of the later versions of HR but I was able to bring it back for this one. I’ve tied mimics to the epidemic and to Adri in a way that MAKES SENSE but lets me go wild anyways

I guess… the short way of explaining is that. Instead of it being very vague supernatural stuff of dubious origin, now it's a ‘manmade horrors beyond your comprehension’ type deal (still of dubious origin). Which obviously neither the characters nor I would be able to explain to you the details of its origins but the distinction MATTERS to me (to my brain).

Something else about HR is that it’s made up of me having rounded up a bunch of ocs who’s stories were empty or were left to the void so that they could have a fitting home where they could shine. At the end of the day I just wanna do my characters justice. I don’t want to just relegate them to nice set pieces (even though they ARE cool set pieces), but each of them has years of backstory stuff that I would like to keep to not lose the essence of said character and its where I put the bulk of my writing effort into.

I want their connections to the story to be solid, but I also want their base vibes and the vibes I am familiar with for those characters to BE THERE too. So if I’m slow with revealing info, or writing in general, its literally because all the processing power in my skull is being used to think of how to best approach that and not just throw low quality spaghetti at a wall. (Sometimes the spaghetti method works very well, but often. It does not. And only makes things more complex in the long run, so I have learned to be more careful with it)

Dianne and Nirven are over 12 years old now as characters. That 's insane. And she still has the same core concept of how her magic works as I created it ages ago.

Same for Bei. He still has his same vibe back when I made him 10 years ago.

And Adam when I made him 9 years ago. Though I’m working out stuff for him still in this new edition, but I’ll get there. I promise. 

Sooo……….. What I’m really trying to say is that I’m learning to have fun again. And at the same time (re)realizing I used to have some super swag ideas that I have never fully let go of that I am VERY adamant on keeping. And my aim is to go back to that unhinged unbridled joy of creating for a world that is just So Fucked Up but it Works somehow. And yeah, if you’ve ever been frustrated at my changes don’t worry: me fuckin’ too buddy. A thousandfold. And if you’ve ever been curious as to the why of everything, then I hope this rant serves as some sort of explanation?

So yeah, if you’re an old fan and missed old stuff, I hope I am able to do it justice once more and from now on. I promise I am trying my best, I always have been. It just works better sometimes. And if you are someone new and dont know what the fuck I’m talking about, 1. thank you for reading this far and 2. I hope you enjoy the ride regardless

And who knows…. knowing me in a few years I might see this all changed again. Or maybe this will be the one, finally, that sticks. We’ll see. At the moment like I said, I am focusing on loving my characters, their world, their and my original intentions, and just having as much fun as I can with it. If I create confusion in the process then that’s something I will have to accept. I’m not a big media corporation with a team or writers, or even just one (1) accomplished author with a huge brain. I’m not tolkien. I’m just some guy having fun with made up guys in my brain

Thank you for reading this far, if you did, if there’s anything you’d like to comment or discuss (if anything, I don’t expect it) please feel free to reply or DM me, I try to respond in a timely manner when possible <3 

Thanks for sticking around too. It means the world to me that you have. Have a really good week, cheers

[sometipsygnostalgic]

I had to unfollow so many people for posting both Zionist and antisemitic bs. It's so tough to drop someone you followed for so long even for something like that, it feels.

To preface this: it seems a bit strange to make a long reply about how it affects tumblr when there's so much real life shit happening.... but I will anyway.

There's a really famous tumblr blog which has massive Zionist views to the extent they say that Israel's occupation of the middle east saves the countries from "primitives", and they gotten away with it for years. I hope he's getting his ass obliterated for his stupid views now. I hope people have opened their eyes.

There's another blog I've stopped following because their stuff has gone from anti-zionist - which, you know, i am one thousand percent anti zionist - to saying that the persecution of jewish people is a thing of the past, which... uhh.... no? Basically their stuff has gotten more and more extreme to a point which is beyond reason. They don't have any personal connection to events as far as i know.

The reason such a thing has happened is because of a lot of historical events that have happened in the middle east, and also because of the complete wishy washy bullshit way media has been dealing with Palestine. One thing is made perfectly clear - Palestinian lives are not seen as human lives. They are portrayed as "terrorist lives". Meanwhile unilateral support has been provided to Israel's wholly unproportionate, opportunist attempts to dominate Palestine.

There are a whole slew of political issues outside of Israel and Palestine's relationship which have caused this, such as Israel constantly being under threat by Egypt and its other enemies, but that doesn't take away from the sheer unhumanity that seems to be supported by our government and news sources that we were suppposed to trust. And if there are "special reasons" for it, like my dad purports, I'm not hearing them. It is completely unhinged.

This is why posters like the one I've mentioned have become more extreme. In the end their posts don't matter compared to the lives lost, and they want to do something, anything about it. So that anger gets directed at.... the completely wrong people. There are also, of course, a million anti semetic opportunist douchebags and militants who are jumping at the gun to give everyone reasons to beat up and lock up jewish people. And that's not going to end any time soon. It's a real threat. So the risk here is that we let Israel destroy Palestine, AND we let society beat the shit out of a bunch of innocent jewish people because of it.

[wave2tyun]

sooo, hello!!🥹💞 or welcome back!!!!

i don’t really know how to start this, at first i prepared a pretty long text because i wanted to explain why exactly i deactivated and what has been happening, but in the end i chose to scrap that and not get into in detail because it’s all related to my personal life and it's probably better to just keep that private, plus it’s some pretty heavy stuff as well, and i don't want to load that onto you. so this has kind of turned into a ramble instead amdbjdn

truth is that i have been struggling, a lot. october was one of the worst months mentally for me, which is when i chose to deactivate. at some point i did start slowly feeling better and i wanted to come back on here earlier than this but then things got worse🙂 like so much fucking worse😭😭 it’s still hard to believe and it still hurts and i almost can’t stop thinking about it, but looking back, i’m at least glad about getting through things the way i did- because i feel like the me one year ago would have acted and handled those situations so differently, or maybe i would have barely been able to handle them at all.

in the midst of it all, i started to lose my passion for writing. writing stopped being a form of escapism or a way for me to use my creativity. it just felt like a burden. whenever i wanted to write and opened up a doc i just felt paralyzed only by looking at it. i couldn’t get anything out, nothing for days on end. i felt like i was losing myself, in multiple aspects, not just writing, and the disappointment that overcame me only added more and more to my stress.

and i’m not going to lie, i’m still struggling a lot to write again :’) but i do want to give it another try. maybe it’s the fact that i first started out last year in december that is kinda making my heart tingle for it again andbjsns this period of time feels nostalgic:(

however, due to personal reasons (not regarding anyone on here, just to make that clear) i’d feel much safer and much more at ease to continue with a different username, i hope you guys can understand. i do feel very attached to my previous one but i really want to be able to post comfortably.

i do kind of regret deleting my other blog because of all the memories i’ve lost, but at the same time i’m also happy i did it because in a way it allowed me to fully choose to work things out and focus on myself without feeling burdened or rushed.

i don’t know how long it’s gonna take for me to post something new. i’ve been working on multiple things at once but the progress has been quite slow ambdkdn but at least it’s something!!!! so it might take a long time, it might also not. i don’t know, i’m just gonna let things be and let them happen whenever they happen. maybe you guys can also tell me some of the fics i should repost?? i won’t do them all at once cause they were quite a lot and that would clog up the tags anbdjdnd + i also need to proofread them again cause most of the time i’d do that directly on tumblr before posting🥲

soooo yeah. if you’ve read through this whole post, i really appreciate it!! :(<33 i’m happy to return on here while being in a better state, and if there’s anybody who would like to talk, do feel free to send me a message or an ask!! i’m still at home on winter break, but i will go on a trip pretty soon😔✊🏻 just so you know in case i might be slow with posting/replying!!

i hope 2024 will treat both me and you well. i hope it can be a year of growth and love, a year where we can freely let go and start anew. in a world where you constantly get beat down for everything i still want to choose to be gentle, sensitive, and soft. i love you guys!!!! :(💞💓💖💘💞💓💞

[gcldenchild]

im not rbing the post solely because i kind of interact with the younger side of the fma fandom as part of my job for a moderator of a big discord but i do wanna be able to talk about this like. somewhat as part of the whole thing i went through. little bit introspective but i think it's an important perspective to have as someone on the younger end who interacts with Both Sides.

also just kinda dumpy. nonsense ahead. i'm very mentally ill. it goes off track but im sure you can see my points in there. somewhere. i guess.

back then i was kinda like. still freshly 18 ? and i joined the rpc because i got my brainrot (which actually is a special interest i just didnt know i was autistic at the time but that's besides the point). and i was very, very desensitized to certain parts of the internet. except i was still ... vulnerable. very much so.

ignoring the fact the pandemic happened right during my highschool graduation in 2020 (meaning i was still a minor at the time), i kinda was. still rockin with my youthful energy ! and ignorance. and naivete.

i guess a good way to say it is: i was 18, but that's still ... not an adult. not really. it's a young adult. people older than me should've seen me as kind of that weird younger sibling, but instead i was made out to be a full-on same-age peer - and that ... caused issues. a lot. mainly in the bond i had with someone and how unhealthy it became because we "clicked" even though this person is 14 years older than me.

"you're mature for your age." please don't EVER say that to someone, period - but especially so in my case, because i was a young adult and i was just barely figuring out where i was in the world alongside years of built-up autistic burnout and stress finally imploding. i was only 18. i still didn't feel anywhere near "grown up" and quite frankly i still don't - that's just kinda the curse of having major life milestones during major world events.

but we wrote stuff. dark stuff. stuff i have never and will never share on the blog, nor will i ever speak about except to specific people - at least, until i'm READY to ever go public about it for one reason or another. point is - i was 18. i held my fault in broaching the topic in the first place - however gently it was - but it was even more on the fault of the other person, 14 years older than me, for never shutting it down and in fact encouraging and adding to it all. this would have been fine if things didn't explode the way they did, but - well, they exploded.

really bad. to the point that i was actively gaslit and i genuinely believed myself to be a problem because surely, it was all my fault. they had made it OUT to be my fault. i was told i was obsessed with control and that i needed help - all by someone that much older than me, all by someone who insisted that it was a black and white of child or adult, no inbetween. i couldn't ask for things only a child would get because i was an adult and i had to act like it. and that's just - not a healthy way to be. at all. ever.

just ... please, if you're going to have the age of 18 be your limit, please be mindful of the vulnerabilities of people RIGHT at that limit. i want the older folks to be mindful that we're still all figuring stuff out and we can and will fuck up sometimes - just like EVERYONE ELSE does, only maybe a little bit more unstably.

don't expect us to be perfect. in that same breath, please SHUT US DOWN if we push too far on something - we need clear boundaries, and boundaries like that were never SET with me because of the other party engaging actively. it's a complicated, fucked up mess ; i don't want anyone else to be hurt the way i did, nor do i want anyone to hurt people the way they hurt me.

i wasn't given that luxury. i was taken advantage of, and i don't ever, EVER want anyone else to go through that. this is why i'm still hesitant of people that much older than me - but i haven't even really begun to cover it all, and i don't really want to do that yet. it's hard to put these thoughts together to begin with without feeling indescribable rage at how long i had suppressed those memories that proved i wasn't at fault, not in the way i was said to be.

use that emotional maturity you have for the better. see us like little siblings, the same way peers can exist in different age groups but still communicate with eachother. just ...

be calm. and understanding. have your boundaries and ENFORCE THEM, and be kind while doing so unless given good reason otherwise. if you make 18 your limit, please treat anyone within that age range with the same respect you'd give just a newbie college student. don't ... expect full people out of us. not yet.

the pandemic fucked up everything. the economy sucks. the world is dying, and we're the ones left with it - so please just ... be kind. especially since people younger than i am are getting progressively less safety-literate. even for my generation specifically i'm on the higher end of safe, but i still was hurt by someone older than me - just not in the way most people would think of if i ever used the word for what actually happened. and that's a problem.

please, please set your boundaries. be EXPLICIT about them. do not be vague because odds are, none of them have the life experience to read between the lines like that yet. we don't have life experience period - even 20 is still so young.

i was 18 then. i turned 19 right at the end of it all. and i dealt with that for 3 whole years, all of it blaming myself in secret - until recently, that is. that talk was eye-opening and life-altering. i want to be a pillar now because of it - someone that those younger than me can turn to for help, but someone that those older than me can talk to to be able to bridge some kind of gap between them and the young adults.

i was 18 then. i don't believe anyone here will be as irresponsible as them - but i have to say this, regardless, because i may be their only victim with this experience. i was 18 then, and i've changed since - but i'm still young, still learning.

let us learn, so that you can learn from us too. we gotta work together to foster a safe community for everyone involved.

[miodinmio]

All that rambling to justify why a man can still like feminine things, when you completely miss that fact that you could have just been a feminine woman the whole time to begin with.

The reason I wanted people to know that it is okay to like cutesy things as a trans or cis man is because of several reasons.

The amount of guys that are afraid to admit liking cute nice things need to know that it is okay to like them, and that it isn't a bad thing nor does it make you less of a man for liking it.

I personally grew up thinking I couldn't be trans for having X interests and X likes. Which caused me some damages to my mental health.

But in the end, of course I am trans. I have both gender dysphoria and body dysmorphia combined.

My gender dysphoria says: The body I was given does not feel like it belongs to me.

My body dysmorphia says: The body I was given is severely flawed.

I also experience gender euphoria when someone calls me a man.

Not everyone has all three of these, but I do in this case.

My chest, hips and thighs shouldn't be on this body. My voice shouldn't be this high. I don't feel good when people call me a woman or little girl, sometimes even outright miserable to the point of feeling like crying. The list goes on for me. (Every trans person has different stuff that gives them gender dysphoria etc)

If I was a feminine woman, I wouldn't have known that I was a man since I was 12.

And a quote I will use a lot from now on that my mother told me when I came out to her:

"There's nothing wrong with you. Nature makes mistakes all the time."

"You weren't supposed to be a woman. So it's a good thing we can fix this."

And it is true, we all know nature makes mistakes all the time. Which is why I took that quote to heart as it was a huge eye opener for me and allowed me to accept myself as I am.

+ I like more things that aren't related to a woman's stereotypical gender role stuff, so there's that too, I didn't find that to be a necessary thing to bring up. But I should make a drawing post that gets more into this stuff in general for sure!

+ I am the tiniest little blog that just started. But if just one person can feel more secure or comfortable with themselves, I am happy. I didn't have anybody to tell me these things when I was young, so I hope I can be there for somebody!

+ Also been there done that, I overcompensated trying to force myself to be a woman and it went downhill and made my depression thicken when attempting to force myself to be somebody I am not.

I wrote a lot but I feel like I still didn't end up writing enough. So I hope that helped clear up or explain some things! Never be afraid to ask questions and learn! ❤

[waitingforeddyneddy]

So, I discovered your blog on twitter as I saw someone saying to block you and it made me curious to see what that was about and while I don’t really care about a lot of your opinions, I would like to give me 2 cents on certain topics you’ve touched previously bc you said that people can rant on your blog and it’s hard to find a place to give your honest opinion. So here goes: First of all, I wish people would stop hating on Jonny for his likes and comments. And I say that I someone who doesn’t care for that man. While I don’t buy into the theory that he and Simone hate each other, it’s pretty clear that he doesn’t have a soft spot for her like he does for Phoebe and CC, which is fine by me bc Simone also doesn’t have a soft spot for him like she does for Ncuti and Phoebe. And I absolutely don’t think she supports them only bc she’s friends with them cause I don’t think she’s that close to anyone she’s worked with and keeps her personal and professional life separate. I think she just supports people she really likes just like Jonny and that’s ok. They worked together and then went their separate ways and only engage with people they really like online. It’s mutual. Second of all, there are so many Simone fans who throw her under the bus in order to defend Jonny and it’s sad to watch. There really is no difference in the way they speak about her when defending him and how a hater would put her down if someone said something about their fave like NC or India. I remember the way some people were talking about her when they ss I guess your blog and then a fan pointed out to stop dragging Simone which lead to someone saying that they are defending Jonny from homophobia. Now nobody should tolerate homophobia, but there really was no need to say stuff like ‘they hate him bc he’s booked and she isn’t’ and ‘he’s not the one who told people to not ask questions about his job, she did’. Like hate on the person writing homophobic shit. Why are you dragging that person’s favourite celebrity like a hater would in order to get at them?! And they’re apparently fans of the person they’re dragging! I’m convinced that 97% of Simone/Jonny fans would absolutely choose him over her if they ever had to and it’s sad. I really want her to have her own fans one day. Anyways, rant over!

Hi!

I don't think Simone and JB hate each other, let me tell you the whole campaign "block that person" that started on twitter against me took place because I went against some mean girls of the fandom who thought they held the universal truth in their hands....this being that JB and Simone are besties. I don't think they are, and as you said, they're probably just collegues who worked on a project together and that's it. I do think Simone had a bad experience on that set tho.

you're absolutely correct when you say some people only disguise themselves as Simone fans because the've proven so many times that they're ready to throw Simone under the bus to defend that man when I "attack" him on my blog. If they're so pissed with me is there a reason to joke about Simone state of employment? or to say "I'm a Simone stan but I have no choice but to say this about her..." these are things that happened not more than a month ago, it was said by people who even have Simone fan pages on twitter or instagram. Fucking yikes.

Also don't worry, Simone does have her fans, when her other projects come out it's only going to get better

[polarisbibliotheque]

Sorry, I saw one post and a half of yours and I'm already a fan.

I still have to scroll down your blog to see more about you, but I saw that two-post-long answer you made for an anon ask (btw, you have such poetic vibes :D your style made me smile, seriously) and I couldn't holf myself to ask:

Hm, have you ever heard of... I mean, "whump"?

If yes, what are your thouhts on it?

(you don't need to answer this, specially if it makes you unconfortable in any ways or anything else XD)

However, I hope you have a wonderful day/noon/afternoon/evening/night(?) !

Hello hello!! First things first, sorry for taking SO LONG to answer, I had a ton of health issues the last couple of months >.<

Secondly, thank you SO MUCH for being so kind!! I saw all your reblogs of that huge answer for such a tiny thing I did and thank you. I'm really happy you like my style too, that makes me smile!

Now now, about your question on whump, I'm gonna be very honest, I had to Google it to make sure we're on the same page HAHAHAHAHAHA

Jokes aside, I know it's sort of a term for hurt/comfort fanfiction - but it's not really clear to me if it's a kink thing or not.

Because you see, if you're talking about hurt and comfort, I mean, that's basically what I write HAHAHAHA writing for the Devil May Cry fandom, inevitably someone will be hurt/tortured/mentally abused somehow.

Or impaled. A lot.

(I mean, that's all this bitch has done for the past 5 games)

And also there's the whole thing with Vergil, his twin brother, being kept as a slave in Hell for 20(?) years and coming back after dragging his crumbling body out of there to find out he has a son and being the peak of cluelessness in the Universe - and me being adamant he deserves love after all that.

So I guess everything I write has a LOT of hurt - and I even put some serious warnings before the fics, 'cause everyone is traumatized in this household - but despite of that, they still can find love, happiness and somewhat soothe all that pain and trauma.

(dramatic, real, horrible, but stil comforting xD)

As a kink, though, I don't enjoy it - and I also don't enjoy putting characters I love through pain and suffering just because. That's why I have a love/hate relationship with horror media: I LOVE horror, but I HATE exploitation.

Movies that have just people being abused, hurt, dismembered and all that kind of horrible stuff happening just because without a real reason to be on the plot - meaning, torture porn - just make my blood boil. And there's a lot of that in horror.

I like when things are more psychological and actually have a REASON to be there. So, in my writing, I'll never torture a character just for the pleasure of doing so and for the pleasure of the reader, I need a point out of it.

For instance, on my cyberpunk-style story, both main characters have gone through a terrible experience together and lost someone who was really dear to them. Both of them went through a lot of physical pain, lost some limbs and needed to install cyberprosthesis, and lost everything they had worked for til that point in their lives.

Horrible, yes. But they had to go through it so I could start the story: because of all of this, the guy made an anarchist/terrorist group and just wants to burn down the city along with the people in power who allowed all that to happen to him, while the woman becomes the best killer for hire so she can get enough money to live and, eventually, retire.

All that physical and psychological pain is a very important plot point and I can't take it away from the story, or else there's no story to begin with. Meanwhile, every time I'm writing I'm thinking "how can I make this as unpleasant as I can so the reader can understand the crushing feeling of all of this?" hahahahaha

That's why I'm not into pain kink - I respect everyone who is, but I can't do it, I feel no pleasure from it.

That's my opinion, I think. For pleasure's sake, I don't like it, but for plot, I really like it. I think it has a hopeful note to it - that even after the storm, the days will shine bright again, you just have to go on. That's what I enjoy from writing things like this, the hope.

Who would've known, I'm not 100% a bitter bitch hahaha

Reading my personal original stories, I think all of them have a painful background and many unpleasant scenes. But I like it, because it's human nature and how life is: bad things will happen, we can just try to make the good ones count even more :)

I hope that was a good answer to your question hahahaha

Thank you once again, and I hope you have a lovely week ahead!! Feel free to spend some time around and ask things if you'd like! ^^

[ofstoriesandstardust]

you most definitely do not need to answer this if you're not comfortable (or just don't want to), but i saw you say you had grown somewhat resentful of the same mistakes universe and i was curious as to why. i am not personally a writer, but i have a fair amount of friends who are and i have seen similar things happen to them with stories they had put tons of time and effort into, for a variety of different reasons. i know a lot of authors struggle with not getting much interaction on fics, and i can imagine putting something out there that you are proud of and spent a lot of time on and then not hearing anything can feel super disappointing, and also a bit like just chucking your stuff into a void??? i know some other friends of mine have stopped writing because the fandom itself sucked and they were getting weird pointless hate for no reason.

I am definitely sad you've ended/taken a long break from the series, because it's clear you put a ton of time, effort, and care into the same mistakes series, and you developed a character that was deeply nuanced and unique, but also youre doing it all for free and for fun (ideally) so you don't owe anyone anything. I'm for sure rambling at this point but basically i have loved reading the series and i hope somewhere down the line you can start writing again for fun and for yourself!

hey!! i am more than happy to talk about this and the only reason I haven't until now because I wasn't sure anyone really cared and I didn't want it to be misconstrued as whining or ungratefulness. this is probably more of an answer than you were looking for but here we go...

before i came into the top gun fandom, I was very used to chucking my things into the void, as you said. some of my umbrella academy stuff got attention, but aside from a few key mutuals, there wasn't a whole lot. and I was okay with it because I was writing for me and no one else.

and then the og same mistakes trilogy caused my blog to blow up and I was very overwhelmed with the extraordinary overnight attention everything was getting. i went from nothing to so much scrutiny I didn't know what to do. I've gotten to meet and talk to wonderful people because of it, but I've also been subject to some pretty awful hate because of it too. and it never stopped. it just kept getting worse. there was a lot of pressure to deliver consistently and constantly and I felt like no matter what I wrote, I was never appeasing someone. there was always someone who didn't like it and wasn't afraid to tell me so.

ultimately i became resentful because if i never wrote same mistakes, then my blog never would've blown up and i'd never have gotten so much hate. i'd still be writing for me and not judging everything i write before it gets out onto the page. i try to remind myself that i never would've met so many amazing people but that stopped being enough after a little while. when I saw others writing amazing things and get the responses they absolutely deserved while I was being tagged in specific posts for writing things that had overused tropes, I started to wonder what I was doing wrong that I couldn't seem to appease anyone. why it wasn't good enough.

i sort of thought that if i took a step back and focused on other projects, like storm warning and flight risk, things would figure themselves out and the hate would die down and I could come back to same mistakes-verse. uhm, things didn't calm down. the hate didn't stop, as people started taking shots at these other projects (specifically flight risk) and my lack of faith in my writing started extending into my academics.

i've always been pretty proud of my academic writing, and as a historian, it's all I have. but when everyone online is telling you it's shit, and has been telling you that since June, it's hard not to view that for all of your writing. i already feel insecure in my field because I'm still new and honestly this was the last thing I needed.

so i decided to take a step back from all creative writing because it stopped being fun and it stopped being for me and I started hating everything I wrote because I knew no one would like it anyways. i hope it starts being fun again because I miss it and I want to come back to Rebel and Sunshine and Cowgirl and Carolina and all the characters that I love deeply but I don't know when or if that will happen.

[foxingpeculiar]

FF16 Blogging: I just got back from Kanver. Spoilers and whatnot.

I’ve only been playing a little bit for the last couple of days. And I don’t feel like I’ve hit any big “aha!” moments in the story.

Like first, after Twinside, was the “go around and see how shitty things are” quest where you have to help Martha’s Rest, Northreach, Dalimil. And basically, whatever Primogenesis does, exactly, it’s fuckin’ things up. The sky is all weird, there’s aether and akashic popping up everywhere, Ultima’s thralls are causing trouble, and governments basically aren’t a thing anymore on Storm, so there���s like anarchy and lots of bandits and other ne’er-do-wells are running rampant. Okay, got it.

Then you go Kanver to help Mid and Gav, except nothing really happens there. You’re too late to save the city, Harbard challenges you and then just kind of dies for no adequately explored reason. The most interesting part was Barnabas showing how powerful he actually is by giving you what-for. Annnnnd he’s kidnapped Jill. Great. I mean, I was gonna have to go to Waloed anyway. But I’m miffed she’s been fridged.

I guess it’s kinda cool that Joshua has had this whole secret service/CIA network at his disposal the whole time. But he hasnt yet explained how he came to find out about Ultima and its machinations. Also, and this is fandom-brain, but are he and Jote a thing? The way he kisses her forehead has a kind of intimacy, but it’s almost more fraternal. And there was something in the scene where he meets Mid and is all formal with her, which she doesn’t know how to take, that made me wonder.

I’m still trying to work out what Mythos and Ultima are, exactly. Like, in an ontological sense. Some of Harbard/Barnabas’s comments (“Mythos is everything”) have me really curious for them to nail that down, but I don’t know how much they’re really going to explain it. I guess we’ll see.

Most of what I have this time is stray thoughts, though:

I finally beat Atlas (at lvl 38), but damn if it didn’t take everything I had (including 2 Elixirs), plus Joshua and Jill’s help.

I dunno what’s going on with Oscar. But sure, send him to help rebuild Eastpool; there’s some poetry in that.

Lol @ Clive’s terrible acting in Dalimil. And also the clear LotR reference in the name Underhill. Doesn’t L’ubor even say something like “we don’t want to do the name Underhill a disservice?” Mmhm. I see you.

Some of the sidequests from the Hideaway in this bit were kind of fun. Clive’s a good teacher—the way he responds to the kids who are rebuilding Mid’s scales by indulging their questions while gently pointing them back on track—that was a really well-written bit that did a lot for him as a character in my mind. Also, I love the way he’s kind of afraid of Charon during that quest with “Wetlegs” and stuff. He’s a likeable guy—gruff, but with a soft, creamy interior.

So there’s that quest when you’re on the way to Kanver where you help the dying Republican soldiers deal with some akashic and, at the end, instead of being grateful, the guy you save is super pissed off cos he knows who you are and hates you. I let him live instead of fighting him, which I feel was the morally correct choice, but is that gonna bite me in the ass later? Cos he did swear revenge and all.

I forget exactly how it happened, but I have a note appreciating that they worked in the Phoenix Down. It’s such an iconic item.

Oh, and I finished the Quinten/Lostwing quest. There’s a lot in this game about like, finding purpose. I’d wanna play through it again with this in mind, but it’s interesting to see how it’s functioning as a piece of art created in the current socio-political environment.

I dunno. Again, I feel like I haven’t accomplished much in the past few hours of play. But I also feel like it’s the calm before the storm of the final push. Presumably I’m gonna cross over to Ash next, and whatever’s going on there is gonna be (had better be) crazy.

[popculturebuffet]

Velma Season 1 Review (Review for Weird Kev27)

Hello all you happy people and for this fine start of april we're looking at something that's been long overdue.

So something I've only expressed a little on this blog is that i'm a massive scooby doo fan. While I grew up with the world's greatest great dane and really loved mystery inc, over the last few years i've gone from simply appricating the series to being a massive fan with a decent amount of knowledge. Together with @jess-the-vampire we watched EVERY scooby do movie, we've binged most of the shows and i'ts given me an apprication for the franchise as a whole.

So naturally the first new series since i became a scooby head was a cause for .. cautious optimsim. Yeah while I liked Mindy Kaling's previous work with The Mindy Project and felt the idea of an adult scooby doo series had potetial the combination, i was tredpedatious as adult series can mean "excellently plotted comedy where you can have a plot about abusive parenting, bi erasure and the mafia in the same episode as a country set slaughter fest, said abusive parent putting dildo's everywhere because he assumes that's what gays like and an extra horny shark man who statistically has boned half of every room he's entered. "… and sometimes you get show's whose whole identities are random cruel violence, dickery and

Sadly.. Velma ended up this way, with the trailers presenting a show that not only didn't really care for Scooby doo, but picked the most obvious ways to deconstruct it while loudly scremaing

In lieu of actual adult conversations or themes. It had specks of those but it was mostly just obessed with proving how clever clever it was. So let's talk about tha tunder the cut eh?

Yeah while we WILL be hanging around for Scooby Doo, we are not talking Velma.. yet. I haven't even braved it just yet, as a combination of the counltess dickheads crticizing it for being "woke"…

The series making everyone but Fred POC was a GOOD idea .. it just seems couched in a lot of jabs that come off as them having never watched a damned scooby doo show past where are you. I'm not sayin gi'ts required to watch thousands of hours of scooby doo to make an SD property, but watching a FEW episodes of more recent series to make sure your stuff is fresh and checking to make sure yoru ideas are either new or a diffrent enough take on an idea to work. While i'm not sure if the writers of recent series like Mystery Inc, Be Cool and Guess Who? have seen EVERY scooby do thing, it's clear al lhave seen enough of the franchise and know it well enough to play with it, from making it a cosmic horror story , to a wacky comedy with Fred and Daph tweaked signifigantly, to a team up show that has Malcom McDowell take our heroes to a distopian future where Shaggy and Scooby have no tonly surivvieed this long but are fighting to the death.

I will give Velma a shot eventually and likely cover it too, but for now me and Kev just weren't all that invested. He might have me cover it later and if he decides not to I might still just do it anyway, but for now that's just not something i'm going to be doing

Instead.. .we're covering something that DIDN'T get released. Yeah as a special treat i'm taking a quick look at Scooby Doo and Krypto Too. SDAKT was supposed to be another scooby doo direct to video film, coming out to allign with the Super PEts MOvie, which I also need to see at some point. Problem is it was made during WB"s Tire Fire years, and it along with a HEX GIRLS MOVIE MY GOD YOU MONSTERS WHY DID YOU CANCEL THIS, were scrapped, and the latter was nearly complete.

That would've been the end and given the project was never even ANNOUNCED, as is common as Warner only tends to announce sd movies a few months before release, and Warner's Habit of locking good animatoin in indiana jones vaults.

Thankfully some brave soul we still don't know leaked the film, which not only leaves potetial for more of the stuff they've refused to release to get out there, but was a nice hearty fuck you to a company and president who prides trying to stop bleeding money in the sleaziest way possible over actually making things tha tmake money. I"ve been vocal as hell about The Warner Bros Discovery Tire Fire so you better belive me and Jess watched this asap. And if WBD had a problem with that.. they PROBABLY shoudl've let the film actually come out then instead of destroying months and sometimes years of effort and locking it in crate to make 5 dollars, as their's legally nothing they coudl do. They did try to remove the film, but this being the internet once it was out there they couldn't undo it and it's already in the wind as it damn well should be.

So naturally when Kev, after several diffrent ideas I won't say in case we end up going with them at some point, suggested this I was all on board. But when you strip away all the controversy what do you get?

WEll you get a pretty decent Scooby Doo Team Up Film. Scooby Doo DC Team UPs are far from new, going as far back as the Scooby Doo Movies, and only increasing once warner started syndergizing it's propertie smore While a LOT of it is naturally fitting team ups with the world's greatest detectives including a full on reunion movie for batman brave and the bold that I love dearly, they've also teamed up with the flash, wonder woman and even had a dc comic ENTIRLEY DEDICATED to team ups that featured my boys the doom patrol among MANY other deeper cuts and currently have one just for batman and the bat family.

It's still weird though to see them team up with Krypto, but not unwelcome. It helps for me at least that as a big comcis nerd.. I fucking love Krypto and as a teen got a two pronged attack that made me a lifelong fan of the pooch: Krypto showed up in Geoff John's run of teen titans as Connor's loyal canine (with Clark having given Connor his dog), and a mostly realstic dog who just happens to have kryptonian powers nad wear a cape. The other was the opposite an da series that's only grown on me with time, Krypto the Super Dog. While meant more for the preshool set, Krypto was still a LOT of fun, going in a more silver age direction, throwing in things like Streaky, Supergirl's cat in the comics, and Ace the Bathound and best of all the Dog Stars of the Universe, who I was shocked to fine werent just made up here to serve as Krypto's own Legion of Super Heroes.. actually existed in the comics. Why they haven't been brought back I don't know. you look at a bucnh of dogs with weird super powers in space and tell me it's not gold.

So finding out this existed was great. And honestly even putting aside the stupid shelving.. it's a solid DTV Scooby Film. i've watched all of them, not hyperbole, and while i've seen far better, including the recently released trick or treat scooby doo, this is still a fun entry.

The plot is kinda simple: The Gang visit Metropolis just as the Justice League has gone missing and no other heroes exist in this universe because plot convience. Our heroes are summoned by Daphne's old friend Jimmy Olseon to help Lois Lane look into this. Lois is perfectly played here too being fast talking, no nonsense and only not investigating herself because 80 thigns are going on at once with all the supervillians running riot. Jimmy less so as he thinks hea nd daph are together and has been telling people such when they never reallyd ated. We also get Fred being jealous of which I have some notes on.

I won't talk much about it. It's bad, it shoudl feel bad and the only saving grace is it's not DAPHNE IS JEALOUS OF SOMEONE BEING INTO FRED WHILE THEIR NOT TECHINCALLY A COUPLE PLOT #98. Seriously it happens a LOT. A LOTTTTTT.

We also get our usual parade of supsects: a foodtruck lady running challenge of the super fries, the local valet whose tired of super cars because Green Arrow apparently has a SECOND arrow car just for metropolis, and what have you. The main suspect and treat of the film though is Lex Luthor. Lex is played to hammy perfection, not only trying to buy the hall of justice but being open about being a buisnes scumbag and eventually being forcced by circumstance to work with our heroes, wtih him and velma playing off each other really well. Lex is easily the best part of the film. He also gets a great moment as while shockingly he's NOT behind it, his assitant mercy who in this continuity is in love with him and was tired of Lex being more buisness luthor and less mad scientest luthor was behind it to try and do an evil scheme since he wouldn't. I mean.. I can't see her complaint: Buisness scumbag luthor is STILL miles ahead of piss in a jar luthor.

Still it's a nice motive.. and Lex was not only AWARE the whole time , he only let it play out to see whta she could do and hacks her robots for her plan easily… then reveals he let her plan go ahead to buy time for his: to demolish the hall with giant robots. Naturally she loves this and they get together. It shows off both versions of luthor great: the cold buisness man who uses hsi money and cleverness as a weapon, and the mad genius who hates superman and wants to destroy something only tagnetally related to him out of spite. his evil dog rex even turns out to be a robot and knowing Krypto was around he put a chunk of kryponite in him and the robots

Krypto himself.. works really well and is the heart of the film. While Luthor is EAISLY again the best part, Krypto's main traits are shown off: he's loyal, loves his master and the feeling is mutual. Krypto was left behind by clark for his own saftey after the fight that sent the group into the phantom zone, and it's clear all Krypto wants is his master back. He dosen't get a ton of characterization fo ra movie based on him, but it's nice seeing his inherent bravery and invunerbality contrasted with the gangs cowardice or his confusion when in one bit , Shaggy triggers the kitchen, the JLA's danger room , and it makes it into an actual kitchen, with his confusion bein ga nice hint at the gag. We also get a real solomon grundy who just wanted to pet dogs. And how can I not relate to a fellow swamp monster who just wants to pet dogs?

The climax is great, wtih our heroes and various red herrings stepping in, a truly climactic figh tnad hero much like his master powring the fuck through even at his weakest. We get a heartwarming reunion.

Scooby doo and Krypto Too isn't a top tier, one in a millon DTV scooby movie but it's still an excellent one. And while NO FILM deserves the sheving WBD heaped on it, this film is an easpecially galling example of that and if you can find it out there, go do so. It's a fun tight 90 minutes. We return to our reguarlly scheduled nonsense in an hour or so. Thanks for reading.

[thelonesomequeen]

A lot of you have various opinions and comments on the cultural appropriation pictures and I’m going to post them below so others can see your point of view. I want to be clear that the comments below are not ours (mods) but are anons sent to our inbox.

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✏️✏️✏️Anon 1

I saw this picture that some are complaining about. I don’t think it makes her racist. It makes her ignorant. People are just mad that she’s with Chris. Henry C GF was worse. Sometimes people don’t know better. And I saw this as a black woman. People need to chill. The word racist is so easily thrown out these days. Calm down people.

✏️✏️✏️Anon 2

I saw this picture that some are complaining about. I don’t think it makes her racist. It makes her ignorant. People are just mad that she’s with Chris. Henry C GF was worse. Sometimes people don’t know better. And I saw this as a black woman. People need to chill. The word racist is so easily thrown out these days. Calm down people.

✏️✏️✏️Anon 3

(I sent the same message to several Tumblrs) why are you all silent about the new pictures of miss racist girlfriend of CE?? because to talk about a « fake » yoga certificate or photo of paps on the beach there are people but for the photo and video of racism of miss nun and her band it is radio silence.why? Because that would be to admit that Crispy is racist too? hmm?

Asks like this make me think some people don’t actually care about cultural appropriation or racism and just want to a valid reason to cancel Alba for something other than dating Chris. Y’all clearly talked about it, but not in the correct way that just immediately calls her evil. God forbid a serious topic like this it’s approached with nuance and you don’t immediately just shun her from society for being problematic.

✏️✏️✏️Anon 4

I was checking about the photo discourse on Twitter and a lot of it is just people wanting to have a gotcha moment instead having an actual conversation. The same accounts posting about this were tweeting really nasty things like wanting Alba to d1e (I have screenshots). They were also really mad about your blog debunking the yoga thing.

✏️✏️✏️Anon 5

“ If Chris is dating someone that’s racist as everyone says wouldn’t that make him one too?” if that were true of people than Meghan Markle would be also considered racist for marrying Prince Harry (just a mere example at how just because 1 person is something doesn’t mean their partner is too). I don’t know if Alba is racist, could be just ignorant or not caring too much- she grew up in Portugal a fairly homogeneous country population wise, as opposed to the US.

✏️✏️✏️Anon 6

Obviously culture appropriation is not okay but my whole thing with finding old photos and tweets is that it says people can’t grow. A lot of people make stupid mistakes when they are younger and regret them. I know I’ve said some really dumb stuff that I absolutely do not agree with now because people change. If we’re gonna hold onto questionable things then even Chris has said done some awful stuff (Sandra/Selma quote, Botham Jean tweet, tone deaf middle eastern ASP doc) and never apologized publicly for it. But that doesn’t mean they don’t regret it and wish it didn’t happen. The intentions with bringing up old pictures isn’t purely about educating though in this scenario and it’s obvious.

✏️✏️✏️Anon 7

I’m not sure what pics are being talked about in regard to “culture appropriation”, but as a minority myself I find the general discussion a lot of times over the top: not every time someone dresses as a different culture, do their hair or adopts Buddhist teaching into their lives and son, is not always culture appropriation many times it is more accurate to say it is culture appreciation. People need to take a deep breath and learn the difference cause they alot of times end up looking ignorant

✏️✏️✏️Anon 8

But, we know about them now so hopefully this isn’t something she does regularly. 🧜🏻‍♀️ // Oh totally!! Even if those are just from the last few years that's a major red flag 🚩 🚩 especially with how big of a conversation it's been in recently. My mind immediately goes to Florence Pugh and how big that story was in 2020. We should care, and I do, but doubt many people outside of the CE fandom and maybe WN's will. I could see an article or two popping up about it, but not much more than that.

✏️✏️✏️Anon 8

You know we can criticize Jenny and Alba for being transphobic and racist respectively, but at the end of the day, Chris chose to be associated with them. And he isn't exactly perfectly either. He has said and done a lot of questionable things over the years. I just feel as though we're always too hard on the women while giving him a pass and babying him. I'm not referring specifically to you mods here, but the fandom in general. He made his choice, let him deal with it now. Nobody is villain or a victim in this equation.